#never thought this is what id be writing when i started writing fanfic a few years ago

[ghosttotheparty]

crybaby

this is the most unhinged thing i’ve written and it’s @thorniest-rose’s fault bc of this post (no this is not going on ao3 bc some of my irls know ab my ao3)

featuring: virgin!eddie; also bottom!eddie; eddie w an oral fixation; lots of crying bc eddie is pathetic (affectionate); unhinged horniness and then extremely soft tenderness

cw: brief mention of piss bc eddie is depraved; mention of drugs; f slur used once; obviously very nsfw minors go away you are not welcome here

~~~

eddie isn’t good at much, but the things he’s good at, he’s really good at. these things include things other people know about him. writing stories, drawing creatures, making up plot twists and snags and tangles during campaigns, playing complex riffs on his guitar, finding his place easily on stage in front of people. (not many people, but still. people.)

but he’s also good at things that nobody knows about, things that nobody should or will ever know about. specifically, he’s good at getting himself off.

he’s experienced, simply put. he knows his body. he knows what feels good, and what doesn’t, and he knows what he likes. he’s gotten practice. he’s also gotten… creative.

he’s been home alone often enough that he’s gotten to try things. things he’s read about in magazines, seen pictures of, things that he’s just randomly thought of and gotten curious about.

he likes being breathless, so he curiously wraps his fingers around his own neck and squeezes until he’s a little lightheaded and gasping. (he uses a belt to do it one day, and he’s reminded of the bite of the leather on his neck every time he wears the belt after that. so he leaves it in his closet for the times he’s feeling particularly depraved, because he can’t wear it out anymore.) he comes immediately when his hair gets caught on his rings and he accidentally pulls too hard, so that becomes a thing afterwards.

he shoves his face into his pillow to muffle his moans, and when he bites down on it he realises he likes having it in his mouth. (he’s always liked having things in his mouth, pencils and his hair and gum and his necklaces, so he supposes this makes sense.) so he starts biting his pillows and then the ends of his blankets and then his underwear, and then he sucks on his fingers and bites his arms when he tosses them over his face.

some nights it’s harder to come than others, and he tries everything. sticking a pillow between his legs and riding it, using too much lube to get four fingers inside himself as he groans into his mattress, pushing his knuckles against his taint and pressing a hand against his belly, fucking himself with the handle of his hairbrush until he saves enough money to get an actual toy.

it’s also fun sometimes when he’s high, his head full of clouds, every sensation somehow simultaneously heightened and muffled. (on one particularly desperate night, he gets too high and accidentally pisses himself as he’s coming, and if that awakens something inside him as he comes back down… well, that’s his business.)

he’s aware of how it would look if someone were to take a peek into his bedside table drawer and found the bottle of lube (and the empty one he just hasn’t gotten around to throwing away) next to the pills and weed. but nobody looks at his stuff.

sometimes he does it without even the intention of really getting off. it just feels nice. gives his brain something to focus on while he does other things, fondling his dick over his pants while he reads or does homework, putting a toy inside himself while he draws or works on a campaign.

there are nights that he sets aside just to get off. just to sit in bed with lube and a box of toys (some of which are just innocuous things, like the belt and the hairbrush, that are only used for this), to spend hours taking himself apart. (yes, hours. the only time he’s ever patient is when he stops himself just before tipping over the edge.) he always gets a little delirious after long nights, giggling breathlessly to himself as his come and sweat dries tacky on his skin, as he untangles his fingers and rings from his own hair.

he doesn’t have any experience with other people, to his own disappointment. he’s curious about if it would feel better for another man to pull his hair, if they would pull it harder, sharper, if their hands would feel better around his throat, if their dicks would feel better in his ass than Eddie’s fingers.

he manages by himself, though. (manages is a light term. he’s killing it, really.) a few times a week, when he gets to get away from the rest of the world for a while. it’s not gross, he doesn’t think. he’s a healthy amount of horny, in his own opinion.

until steve harrington.

steve turns his world upside down (pun intended), from the moment eddie pins him against the wall out of fear and steve makes those little gasping noises, and then it gets worse when he sees steve bite a fucking demon bat and rip it apart before spitting its blood onto the ground like it was nothing, all covered in sweat and blood and lake water. eddie has to focus on where exactly he is and the fact that the world might be ending to distract his dick.

(nancy notices him adjust his pants, and his face burns, but she just barks out a laugh that she disguises as a cough, thankfully.)

he’s distracted until everything is over, luckily, as it would be difficult to sneak off long enough to rub one out. (to king steve, of all people. jesus.)

when he’s released from the hospital, he goes home (home now meaning the apartment the government gave wayne in return for the trailer.), and he’s hard before the shower water is even warm. and steve is in his head. covered in sweat and blood, panting and grinning and hovering over eddie. eddie ends up pressing his face to the wall, his breathes and soft whines echoing off the tile, and he’s vaguely aware that he’s moaning steve’s name, but it doesn’t really matter. no one’s here to hear it.

and steve keeps doing this thing. which really isn't a thing at all. he's just... existing. but it's summertime, and he keeps wearing these shirts with cut-off sleeves, and these shorts that cling to his ass like saran wrap, and he keeps pushing his hair back in this way that's so casual it's clear he isn't aware that he looks like a fucking model. (his hair is also longer now than it was when they met. long enough that he sometimes borrows hair ties from the girls to keep it out of his face while he's cooking (which is a whole other story) and eddie has to physically turn away to tear his eyes away from his neck.)

obviously he doesn’t tell anyone that he’s hot for steve. because it doesn’t matter. steve’s hot. that’s that.

but the problem is that he’s falling for steve. beyond the way his neck looks when he looks up at the ceiling and the way his muscles shift when he lifts something heavy, eddie is falling for the rest of him. his kindness, his bravery, the way he acts with the kids and robin and nancy, the quips and bitchy faces he makes when he’s annoyed. the way he traces the scars around his neck absentmindedly. (the scars that match eddie’s.) and eddie doesn’t just want to lick his chest and feel his fingers in his hair anymore, but he also wants to just… hold his hand. kiss him good morning. borrow his sweaters to sleep in and let their hair tangle in a hairbrush.

which is a problem because they’re actual friends now, apart from the all the trauma bonding. they bond over other things. over dustin and the kids, over teasing robin and teasing each other, over hawkins. and most of the time, eddie forgets he’s hot for him until he’s horny, and then steve is all he can think about.

he discovers that steve is hot when he smokes. they’re in steve’s living room with robin and nancy and jonathan and argyle, passing a bong around, and the way steve’s eyes shine, framed by his dark princess eyelashes, and the way he blows smoke at the ceiling and grins lazily make eddie feel like his skin is twisting. so he excuses himself to the upstairs bathroom for a few minutes. he bites the hand towel hanging by the sink to keep himself quiet. (nancy gives him a knowing look and smile when he comes back and he just flips her off. she giggles, but no one questions it because they’re all high.)

it’s still not really a problem. he’s good at pretending steve doesn’t make him feel lightheaded just by looking at him.

steve might be eddie’s best friend. which is nice. but also…

steve is a tactile person. eddie notices it at the very beginning of their friendship, watching how steve drapes himself over robin as she’s watching movies or talking with someone, how steve tugs dustin closer just to hold the back of his neck or his shoulder, how he holds eleven’s hand whenever she reaches for his. and steve is the same with him, leaning against him on the sofa, setting his legs over eddie’s lap. he doesn’t question it when eddie starts to headbutt him, rubbing his head and face against steve’s shoulder or arm or back just because. he just smiles or laughs quietly when it’s particularly aggressive, which just makes eddie’s heart grow warmer.

steve gives eddie a key to his house when his parents move out. i know you have a place with wayne, but it’s just… i want you to know that you, like… have somewhere to go. if you need it. so eddie gets a key made for his apartment gives it to steve two weeks later. you too. steve tries to hide his watery eyes, but eddie doesn’t let him. he just pulls him into a hug.

it doesn’t occur to him that it wasn’t entirely a great idea until he’s facedown in bed, crying and fucking himself with a toy, and the front door opens.

“eddie?”

eddie can’t even move, his vision blurred as his door opens and steve appears and freezes.

“oh.”

eddie says steve’s name, tears sliding across his skin and soaking into his sheets as he continues to fuck himself, hanging just on the precipice of enough, his body flushed with desperation and embarrassment.

steve must see it all, the desperation and embarrassment and all the tears, because he falters, his voice soft when he asks, “are you okay?”

“i can’t come,” eddie whines, a small sob escaping him, his hand slowing, and he hides his face in the mattress, squeezing his eyes shut, because holy fuck, steve is seeing this. seeing eddie like this, bare and more naked than he’s ever been because someone’s eyes are on him now. (he kind of likes it. feeling steve’s eyes trail over his skin, watching the toy. he feels seen.)

“do you want some help?” steve asks softly, his voice almost disappearing before it reaches eddie’s ears. eddie sobs again, nodding into the bed.

“please.”

it’s quiet for a moment before he feels the mattress shift and steve’s fingers run through his hair. eddie whimpers, letting out a quiet yes.

“look at me,” steve says lightly, quietly, gently. eddie turns his head, blinking up at him, breathing hard. steve caresses his head, hesitating. “i just got off work,” he says slowly, like he knows exactly how eddie’s brain is lagging. “and i’ve been handling money and stuff all day, so i’m gonna go wash my hands. and i’ll be right back. okay?”

“okay,” eddie says weakly.

“okay,” steve repeats softly with a smile. his hand disappears from eddie’s hair, and eddie whines as steve leaves to the bathroom down the hall. he keeps fucking himself as he listens to steve’s footsteps down the hall, to the bathroom sink running, to his bedroom door shut. his eyes flutter open when the mattress shifts again.

steve is laying next to him, his eyes soft, trained on eddie’s face even though eddie’s ass is in the air.

“what do you need?” steve whispers. eddie’s heart clenches. his hand stops again, holding the toy in place, and his brows furrow as his eyes water again.

“i need it to be real,” he says weakly without thinking.

“…what do you mean?”

eddie is still crying, and steve wipes a tear from the bridge of his nose carefully.

“need you to mean it, stevie,” eddie breathes. steve blinks at him, touching his cheek.

and then steve is moving closer, nudging their noses together, and eddie’s eyes close as their lips brush against each other.

“i mean it, eddie,” steve murmurs. and then he’s kissing him.

eddie gasps, releasing the toy and reaching for steve’s head, clutching at him, more desperate than he’s ever been. when they part, eddie’s skin is wet with tears and spit and eddie’s fingers have gotten lube in steve’s hair.

“what do you need?” steve asks again, his fingers brushing over eddie’s cheek.

“fuck me,” eddie breathes.

“…you sure?”

“please, steve,” eddie cries quietly. “i need it, i need you so bad.”

“okay,” steve whispers, kissing him again. “like this?”

“mm.”

steve shifts, moving to kneel behind eddie, and eddie is trembling with anticipation as he listens to steve undress, flushing with heat as he feels steve’s hand slide over his ass.

“you know you’re beautiful?” steve says softly, touching him. he presses against the toy for a moment, pushing it into eddie harder, making eddie whine, before he slowly, carefully pulls it out. “fuck.”

“stevie,” eddie whines, arching his back. one of steve’s hands squeezes, and his other traces eddie's hole lightly, his fingertip just pressing inside for a moment.

“you have condoms?”

eddie groans, gesturing with a flop of his arm to his bedside table, and steve laughs softly, getting up.

steve rubs his skin when he’s back, running his hands over eddie’s ass and thighs and the small of his back, his hands soft and warm and gentle on eddie’s scars before they pull away and eddie hears the clicking of the cap of the bottle of lube.

“ready?” steve whispers.

“yes.”

it’s better than the hairbrush. better than the toys. eddie groans, his voice muffled by the mattress, and steve lets out a soft shit.

“how do you want it?” steve asks roughly after pausing for eddie to adjust.

“hard. please. steve.”

“i got you, baby.”

baby. fuck. eddie’s never been called baby before. he’s never been called anything but his name, but freak and fag. he’s never been called anything sweet.

he starts crying again as steve fucks him, leaning over him, his hands on either side of eddie’s body.

“you feel good?” steve asks when he notices eddie crying.

“yes,” eddie chokes, delirious, gripping the sheets so tightly they might rip. “yes, so good, stevie. love your fucking dick.”

steve laughs, his breath on eddie’s shoulder before one of his hands slides over eddie’s back.

“just my dick?”

eddie giggles like he’s high, his back arching.

“love all of you,” he says.

“love all of you too, eddie.”

it doesn’t feel like the world’s tipped upside down like it should have. it feels like eddie already knew.

eddie whines, reaching back and grabbing steve’s hip, feeling it move back and forth, feeling his muscles shift under his skin.

“talk to me, stevie,” he says desperately, too loud.

steve leans down closer, brushing his lips over eddie’s shoulder.

“you wanna hear me?”

“mm.”

“i’m so obsessed with you,” steve says softly into eddie’s ear, breathing hard. eddie tilts his head to listen. “i’ve gotten off to… to the thought of you so many times.”

“really?” eddie says weakly.

“fuck. yeah.”

eddie whimpers, biting his lip so hard it might start bleeding.

“me too,” he says, because he doesn’t know how to articulate anything he’s thinking. steve seems to understand him.

“shit.” steve presses a rough kiss to eddie’s shoulder. “you’re so amazing, eddie. fucking everything about you. so fucking perfect. so pretty. that fucking hair. your lips.”

eddie’s head is filled with clouds. he’s crying, spit dripping from his mouth as it hangs open.

“steve,” he chokes. “gimme your hand.”

steve’s hand starts to slide down, under his hips, but eddie stops him with a quiet no, and he releases his hip, holding his hand up for steve to take it. their fingers lace tightly for a moment before eddie pulls steve’s hand to his mouth, sliding his tongue across his fingers.

“jesus,” steve murmurs, letting go of eddie’s hand and sliding two fingers into eddie’s mouth. eddie groans, holding steve’s wrist tightly. “you’re so perfect.”

eddie whimpers, sucking on his fingers and melting onto the mattress as it creaks with every thrust of steve’s hips.

“you’re so much better than a dildo,” eddie mumbles around his fingers, and steve laughs, kissing the back of his shoulder.

“am i your first time?” he asks after a second, like he’s just realised. eddie hums affirmatively, sucking on his fingers harder, smiling dopily when steve pushes them farther into his mouth, spreading them over his tongue. “god, you’re a fuckin’ natural, aren’t you?”

eddie giggles, drooling.

“can i go harder?” steve asks.

“yes. please.”

steve pulls his hand away from eddie’s mouth, and eddie whines softly, replacing his fingers with his own as steve sits ups straight, gripping eddie’s hips tightly before he slams into him. a short scream escapes eddie before he reaches to grab a pillow, pulling it close and burying his face in it.

“alright?” steve checks, breathless.

eddie moans into the pillow, pushing his ass back out toward him.

“words, eddie,” steve says, sliding a hand over his ass, and eddie lifts his head enough for steve to hear him.

“yes.”

“okay.”

eddie can hear steve’s smile in his voice.

eddie groans into the pillow as steve fucks him, each thrust hard enough that eddie’s whole body rocks forward, and he mumbles into the pillow even though steve can’t hear him.

“so fucking good, stevie, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…”

he’s getting closer. his moans grow louder, higher and higher, until steve’s hands tighten on his hips, gripping him like they’ll fall apart at the seams if he lets go. (the seams being the matching scars that cover their bodies.)

“you gonna come for me, honey?” steve asks breathlessly, sliding a hand up eddie’s spine. eddie groans and turns his head so steve can hear him.

“can i?”

“…come.”

eddie comes.

he’s always noisy when he comes, and he’s used to holding a pillow to his face to muffle it, but today is different. he’s groaning, low in his throat, and then he’s sobbing, his shoulders shaking as he cries. steve moans as he comes soon after, a hand running comfortingly down eddie’s back.

“fuck, eddie,” he pants. “you okay?”

eddie whines, trembling, and steve pulls out carefully, moving to lay next to eddie, pulling him into his arms. eddie’s legs give out under him and he lets steve pull him close, taking a gasping breath.

“slow,” steve instructs gently. “i got you.”

eddie inhales slowly, shakily, pressing his face into steve’s neck, focussing on the feeling of steve’s chest hair on eddie’s skin. his hands find steve’s waist, sliding to his back before they roll slightly so his arms can wrap around him.

“you okay?” steve asks softly after a few moments.

“‘m so okay, steve,” eddie murmurs. steve’s fingers run over his skin. “i’ve never come that hard. fuck.”

steve laughs softly, tilting his head to kiss the top of his head.

“got worried,” he says softly.

“don’t worry,” eddie says. he closes his eyes. “i’m just a crybaby.”

“sweet boy,” steve murmurs into his hair.

they’re quiet for a moment before steve carefully lets go of him, shifting to take off the condom and tie it off, rolling over to toss it to the trash can next to eddie’s desk.

“touch me,” eddie says before steve’s even rolled back over, and steve listens, pulling him close, tugging at him until he’s on top of steve, their legs tangled.

he closes his eyes as steve traces lines over his back, his fingertips dancing over eddie’s scars gently.

“did you mean it?” eddie asks softly after a minute. steve’s hands pause for a second before they continue.

“mean what?”

“that you… that you love me.”

“yes,” steve says without hesitating, without thinking.

“really?” eddie asks weakly.

“yes,” steve whispers again. “i love you. like… a lot.”

“fuck.”

“are you crying again?”

“…no,” eddie lies, but his voice cracks, and he feels steve’s chest move as he laughs softly, reaching to run his hand through eddie’s curls.

“crybaby,” he says fondly, kissing his head again. eddie whines, nuzzling into his neck. “i got you.”

eddie takes a shaky breath when he stops crying, sighing softly.

“next time,” steve says softly, “i wanna do this at my place.”

“why?” eddie asks, smiling.

“wanna make you as loud as possible.”

eddie snorts.

“yeah?”

“mm. wanna hear you scream without a pillow in your face.”

“okay,” eddie says softly. he could fall asleep here, his chest pressed to steve’s. their heart pressed together, beating in tandem with nothing but skin between them, feeling steve’s fingers sliding over his skin like they can’t decide where to stop. “you really like me?” he asks after a moment.

steve is quiet, still touching him.

“i came over today,” he starts slowly, voice soft. “because i had a bad day.”

eddie sits up, his forearms crossed over steve’s chest as he looks down at him, frowning a little bit. steve looks up at him fondly and tucks his hair behind his ear. his cheeks are flushed and rosy, his hair tousled, his eyes half-shut.

“work was rough,” he explains without eddie having to ask. “had a headache and some customers were rude and i just…” he shrugs weakly, nonchalantly. “couldn’t wait to get—“

he cuts himself off and swallows, his eyes flicking back and forth between eddie’s almost nervously.

“get what?” eddie prompts softly.

“…home.”

eddie blinks, his brain whirling, because steve is at eddie’s apartment right now, not his own house, and it all clicks. steve came to eddie’s after he had a hard day. steve called eddie’s name not three seconds after shutting the front door.

“oh.”

steve smiles weakly at him. eddie leans down and kisses him. he touches his cheek as steve’s lips part, caressing him. his skin is soft. he shivers when steve’s tongue slides over his lip, and he smiles when steve sucks on it softly.

“jesus,” he breathes when they part.

“what?” steve whispers.

“so good.”

“yeah?”

“mm.”

he tucks his face back into steve’s neck, sighing and relaxing, melting against steve, who reaches for the blanket and manages to drape it over their bare bodies. steve mumbles something about changing the sheets tomorrow.

“stevie?” eddie says after a few moments, feeling steve’s breaths become slow and sleepy.

“mhmm?”

“next time will you choke me?”

steve snorts, his arms tightening around eddie as eddie smiles.

“if you want me to. yeah.”

“‘s nice.”

“will you show me how?” steve asks. his voice is slurring a little bit, heavy with sleepiness. “‘ve never choked anyone. don’t wanna hurt you.”

“i’ll show you.”

“show me everything you like.”

“…you sure?”

steve scoffs.

“yes. want everything you’ll let me have.”

“…oh.”

“go to sleep, honey,” steve murmurs. eddie nuzzles into his neck and bites him. steve just hums and presses a hand to the small of his back. “love you.”

“love you too, stevie.”

[quin-ns]

Neighborhood Dilf (Joel Miller x Reader)

Word count: 2.7K

Summary: joel finds out he has a nickname and he asks you what it means

Tags: pre-outbreak this is a happy fic guys!! I didn’t specify a year but let’s put it at 2000 for funsies so sarah is like 11 and joel is like 30ish. also fluff, humor, flirting, age gap, goofy plot (I don’t know what this is honestly), joel being the definition of a dilf and not knowing it, crushes, overall cuteness. also suburbia

A/N: I saw a tiktok where someone said they just knew joel was the neighborhood dilf and they were so real for that I had to write it. and no I don’t care that the word was popularized online we’re using it here. I’m here to provide a cute fluffy fanfic not a historically accurate one lol. also sorry if your name is bee, I tried to come up with a name for the friend that was a nickname so if it was someone’s actual name they could just imagine their full name (I overthink)

TLOU masterlist + main masterlist

The loud music coming from outside woke you up from your afternoon nap. After spending a semester at college struggling to find even an hour of sleep, you were taking as many of those as possible. You were a little grouchy at first as you threw your covers off and stormed to your window, but quickly calmed down when you realized it was the annual block party your neighborhood hosted during the summer.

You’d gotten an in-person invite from Bee, another girl home from college who you’d been friends with in high school before going your separate ways. You still kept in touch since she was nice enough, which is how you found out her family was hosting this year. She’d confided in you personally that she would quote “go crazy if it was all kids and old people.”

As you looked out into their front yard, which was diagonal to yours, you saw that’s pretty much all it was. Since you were such a good friend, you decided that you’d go. 

You were getting dressed (at a leisurely pace) when your phone started to ring. You picked it up from your desk after you pulled your pink sundress on and flipped it open. The caller ID read Bee’s name and you answered, ready to tell her you were on your way.

“He’s here,” she said, sounding mistified, before you could even open your mouth. 

“Who?” you wondered, furrowing your brows a little to yourself as you went to the window.

“The neighborhood dilf,” Bee replied under her breath. 

The nickname made you laugh. It reminded you of high school. It had started as a joke, something you had started calling the new guy who’d moved into the neighborhood with his daughter a few years back. Later you found out his name was Joel Miller, but the nickname spread like wildfire to all the other girls in the neighborhood and it just stuck. 

Everyone knew about it; the girls of course, their confused parents, jealous boys who thought Joel was stealing their attention—the only person who wasn't aware of the moniker (as far as you knew) was Joel. Well, you hoped his daughter didn’t know either. Thankfully, after time, everyone forgot that you had started it. It was a bit embarrassing.

You walked away from the window to your closet and slid on your flip flops—it was summer in Texas, after all.

“You need to get over here, Y/N—what?” the last word sounded distant from the phone. “Yeah, she’s supposed to be on her way,” Bee replied, but to someone else.

“Um, hello?” you asked, waiting.

Bee was quiet for a few seconds, then whisper shouted into the phone, “you’ll never guess what just happened!”

“Let me guess, Joel just walked up and professed his love for you,” you teased, laughing at your own joke. “What, were my parents asking for me or something?” you guessed for real that time, recalling the small bit you had heard her say.

“Unfortunately no, and also no,” she sounded a little too disappointed about the first part, which made you chuckle again. “He did just ask me about you though.”

“Who?”

“The dilf.”

“Just use his name,” you told her with a roll of your eyes, heading out of your room to the stairs. “Wait.” You stopped for a second. “Joel asked about me?” 

“Yeah. I changed my mind, you’re not invited.”  If it wasn’t for her obvious sarcasm you might’ve thought she was serious. “He heard me say your name and asked if you’d be here soon. I—hey!” she yelled, causing you to pull the phone from your ear for a second. You continued your descent down the stairs as she yelled something about ‘kids’ and ‘stay out of there’. “I gotta go,” she said suddenly, then hung up.

You just shook your head with a small, amused smile and left your phone on the counter. Stupid dress and no pockets. 

You headed out the front door and walked across the street towards the party. 

It was in full swing. Music, games, food table—it looked like something out of a magazine. The Grants had a huge front yard—it was one of the nicer houses in the neighborhood—and it seemed like everyone was there. There were kids running around, adults all mingling—some sitting at the fold out tables, others walking around, others chasing their kids—there was also a group of dads surrounding the grill. You glanced that way and didn’t see Joel. You wondered where he was and if you should find him, but Bee found you first.

“The kids aren’t supposed to go inside alone and two of those little jerks went into my room,” Bee complained right away, straightening out her white blouse over her jean shorts. Her pinned back brown hair was a little messy, though. You wondered what happened, which she quickly answered. “I saw them jumping on my bed through the window.”

“Sounds like fun,” you commented sarcastically. Bee looped her arm through yours. 

“My dad set up ring toss and it’s all little kids, I don’t wanna be the only adult playing. Come on.” She dragged you along in that direction and you willingly went with.

You saw a few kids from the neighborhood playing, mostly the preteens who were too old for hopscotch but whose parents had told them they weren't old enough for the mini golf (one of the boys had overshared that little comment). 

“Y/N!” a girl's voice called. You looked that way and saw Sarah Miller walking towards you. A few days out of the week when her dad was working late, you’d go over to their house and keep an eye on her (before you left for college). It was the easiest babysitting gig you ever had; she was polite, always did her school work, and hardly caused any problems. Her dad had raised her very well. 

She looked older than you remembered her being, but you had been gone for both fall and spring semesters—well, you had been home for winter break briefly, but not enough to see anyone other than your parents.

“Sarah, hi!” you greeted, accepting the hug she offered when she got close. “How are you?”

“Good!” she said with a smile. “Are you guys gonna play with us?” she asked you and Bee. “I keep beating them and it’s not fun anymore.” 

You and Bee both laughed at that. “Sure, why not.”

“It feels weird playing with her after talking about how hot her dad is,” Bee whispered in your ear when Sarah went first. “You think he’ll come over here?”

“And what would you do if he did?” you challenged while hiding a chuckle, raising your brows at her.

“Um, probably nothing,” she admitted, cheeks a little pink. “He’s fun to look at though.” 

You hummed. “You’re not wrong.” 

The two of you played a few rounds of ring toss, although Bee got very bored quickly. “Can we go get some drinks?” she asked after not that long of playing.

“Sure,” you decided. You waved bye to Sarah and the others as the two of you walked off towards the cooler.

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed some of the other girls in the neighborhood that hadn’t been in attendance before. For a couple that you knew, it didn’t seem like their scene. 

“What are they doing here?” you asked Bee.

“I may or may not have also told them the neighborhood dilf was here. They, uh, wanted to… see him,” she answered, avoiding eye contact.

You raised your brows in slight disbelief. “Are you serious?” 

“I wanted more people our age here,” Bee defended. “I wasn’t sure if you were even gonna show.”

You scoffed out a laugh. “You’re ridiculous,” you told her.

You reached the cooler and knelt down. You handed Bee a water, but she didn’t accept it. You looked up at her.

“Keep an eye out for the dilf, I haven’t seen him in a while. I’ll be right back,” Bee told you, taking off before you could say anything. You guessed the bathroom given her speed walking inside.

You laughed a little to yourself as you stood back up. You kept the water for yourself. You looked out amongst the crowd, realizing you were now on your own while everyone was in groups. You saw a couple people you were friends with and thought of maybe going up and joining them, but someone else spotted you first.

Joel Miller, the aforementioned neighborhood dilf, was walking towards you. Bee would be jealous, especially if she knew you and Joel were actually friends.

You had thought about telling Bee and some of the other girls that you were friends with Joel, given how much they just loved to gossip about him (how he was still single, how he looked really good in his pajamas getting the mail, that one time he took his shirt off while mowing the lawn—that was a big day) but then you thought better of it, not wanting to be run out of town by a jealous mob.

You were already getting glances by the time Joel stopped by your side so maybe your humbleness was pointless.

“Saw you all alone, thought I’d come keep you company,” Joel broke the ice with ease.

How long had he been watching you? The thought made your cheeks feel warm.

“Wow, what a gentleman,” you teased lightly, causing Joel to chuckle.

“I try,” he joked back, shooting you a small wink.

When you had first met Joel you were nervous around him. It was much easier to talk to him now that the two of you had become friends rather than acquaintances. He was an easy guy to get along with and you found yourself genuinely enjoying his company rather than just gawking at him in his yard from your window (like you used to do in high school). Your crush hadn’t disappeared though, so you joked around with him as a way to keep things casual and avoid getting in your own head. 

“Sarah told me you were finally here, she was happy to see you,” Joel mentioned with a light smile.

That made you smile back. “She’s a sweet kid,” you told him. “I was happy to see her too.”

You fiddled with the water bottle in your hand as you spoke, trying to unscrew the cap. The stupid thing was stuck and after a few seconds you gave up.

Joel gave you an amused look, glancing between your face and hands. “You want help with that?”

“Yes, please,” you handed it to him. “There you go again, proving chivalry isn’t dead. Thank you.”

Joel unscrewed the cap with ease and handed it back. “Happy to be at your service.”

“So, you guys been here a while?” you asked, sparking up conversation.

“Not too long, only an hour or so. It’s been fun though,” Joel explained. “More for Sarah than for me,” he admitted, glancing around to find his daughter. He spotted her and she waved, then continued playing with her friends.

“Why’s that?” you wondered, looking up at him just as he looked down at you. 

“Just… I mean, everyone is nice and all,” he started. “But I just feel like I got nothin’ to talk about with them, y’know? Except you.”

“Really?” You tried to not sound too thrown off by that, but you didn’t know he felt like that. It was interesting to say the least. 

“Is that such a surprise?” he wondered, raising an eyebrow curiously.

You shrugged. “Maybe a little. I get it though, I haven’t really talked to anyone other than Bee yet.”

“I don’t know if you’re friends with them, but I saw a bunch of girls your age walking around,” Joel said as a suggestion. 

“Nah, I’d rather just talk to you,” you said casually, before you could even think about what you had said. The look on Joel’s face changed a little, like he was trying to bite back a bigger smile.

“Well, that’s nice to hear,” he said after a moment. Your eyes met his and the way he looked at you made your heart skip a beat. You had to look away to be able to breathe, almost certain you were reading into things. You really, really did not want to be disappointed.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Joel said, making you realize you hadn’t spoken yet.

“Sure, yeah.”

“You know… young person lingo, don't you?”

You laughed at the awkward wording. If it had been any of the other adults here using the word “lingo” you would’ve cringed, but there was something cute about the way Joel said it. You tried to snap that thought out of your head.

“Mostly, yeah,” you replied with a little chuckle paired with a curious tone. “What’s up?”

“Do you know what a dilf is?” he asked bluntly. That alone told you he had no idea. 

You were so stunned, all you could think to say was, “why?”

“Well, those girls I mentioned… I overhead some of them calling me that,” he explained, his eyebrows furrowing a little. “It’s not bad, is it?” 

Was this karma coming back to you for starting the nickname? It wouldn’t have surprised you. 

“It’s not bad, no,” you assured while also avoiding the main question.

“What is it then?” Joel’s interest was piqued now and while you couldn’t blame him, you also couldn’t think of a way to make this not weird.

“It’s an acronym,” you started. Joel watched you intently, waiting for an explanation. “It means dad I’d like to…” you trailed off, hinting at him the word to fill in the blank.

Joel just looked even more confused. “To what?”

Somehow he made cluelessness incredibly attractive.

Screw it, you thought. This was already weird. Rip the bandaid off, right? “Fuck,” you finished before you could think better of it. 

“Oh,” he stated. You knew it took a second for realization to hit. “Oh. So that means they, um,”

“It’s basically like saying you’re hot,” you explained, filling in when he couldn’t. You hoped he wouldn’t find it insulting or anything like that.

Joel looked a little bashful but found amusement in the situation nonetheless. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You should,” you suggested, then sipped your water. You looked out at the people milling about rather than meeting his gaze.

“Do you think I’m one?”

You nearly choked on your water. “What?”

“Sorry,” Joel apologized quickly, trying to laugh it off. “I shouldn't've asked that.”

“It’s alright,” you assured him. You paused for a minute, contemplating what you might say to that. You got a rush of bravery. “If you’re asking if I think you’re attractive… the answer is yes.”

Joel couldn’t hold back his smile. He tried, but it was a failed effort. It was like he was trying to contain his anticipation. “What about if I wanted to ask you out? What would your answer be then?”

“Yes.”

Joel grinned. “I was hoping you’d say that,” he admitted. 

“Dad!” Sarah’s voice caused the two of you to look away from one another. You saw her running up to you guys and hoped she hadn’t heard a word of your conversation. “Can you come play with me? Mr. Grant just set up a bean bag toss!” 

“Sure, kiddo,” he told her. She grabbed his hand and started to drag him away. 

You smiled a little to yourself at the interaction—he was such a good dad.

Joel slowed her down a little bit to look back at you. “I’ll call you later, okay?” 

“Sounds good,” you replied, chuckling lightly. 

The Millers disappeared into the roaming people. You tried to follow them with your gaze but your attention got torn away.

“Waiting in a line for the bathroom in my own house is messed up,” Bee said, popping out seemingly out of nowhere. “What’s got you so happy?” she wondered, eyeing the smile on your face that couldn’t be erased.

“You won’t believe what just happened,” you replied. A part of you still couldn’t believe it. “I’ve got a date with the neighborhood dilf.”

joel taglist: @the-ice-frozen-ground-red-rose @dontphunkwithmylove @cilliansangel @amethystwonders11 @frogsmuahh037 @andy-rocks @melllinaa @alitaar @melanie451 @b00kw0rmsworld @reverieisaway @avengersfan25 @aheadfullofsteverogers @strangeh0rizons @spideysimpossiblegirl @shannonmariebee

if you would like to be added to the joel taglist just send me an ask or a message! <3

[lodeddiperactivate]

I hate you more! Part 3

Pairing: Rodrick Heffley x fem!reader

Word count: 737

Warnings: angst

Summary: Reader sabotages Rodrick’s chances with Heather. A classic enemies to lovers!

Author's note: I'm trying to be more consistent in writing, and I'm trying to "plan out" the chapters more? As you may have noticed (or not), I have also updated my masterlist for better reading experience I guess haha I have also started to be more detailed as I can when posting fanfics including warnings and proper tagging lol I'm still new to all of this but yeah :) This chapter's a bit short but I just wanted to get this out so I can start "planning" the next few chapters? lol yeah

Tags: @tomhockstetter7-111 @vihtoriacorrea @sleepyb1txh

"How do you read this again?" You asked Rodrick while pointing at the word "Sweaty" that's spelled out on a dog bowl.

"Uhh duh, it's sweetie!" Rodrick said confidently.

This is the second day of your tutoring session with Rodrick, and a day before your big test. You had arrived at the Heffleys a bit early so you decided to hang out with Greg and Rowley in the living room when Greg told you about how Rodrick pronounces "Sweetie." You decided to put it to the test when Rodrick came in through the front doors, and you held up the dog bowl and asked him what it says.

You, Greg, and Rowley failed miserably at trying to hide your laughter. It was too much that even Rodrick got embarassed. What's worse is that he doesn't know why you guys were laughing. He taunted Greg, and you decided to step in.

"Alright, come on, Rodrick, time to study," as you pull him by the waistband on his shirt.

"Don't tell me what to do," Rodrick snapped at you as he eyed you pulling him by his shirt.

"Oh? I think in this case, I can," you snapped back at him.

"Is that so?"

"Yes, because if you don't," you paused for a while and smirked at him. "Oh Mrs. Heffleyyyy," you said in an almost sing-song voice.

"Fine fine, you're a snitch!" Rodrick sighed in defeat as he headed upstairs into his room.

"She's awesome!" Greg told Rowley but you didn't hear it because you were already walking up the stairs with Rodrick.

When you arrived at Rodrick's room, it was still as messy as the first time you had set foot in there.

"Geez, would it kill you to clean up in here?"

"Why clean my own room when my mom will do it for me when she gets tired of calling me out on not cleaning my room?" Rodrick said as if he had figured out all the answers to the world. You just rolled your eyes.

"Let's just get this over with."

"What's the rush?" He asked.

"None of your business," you replied. The truth is that you're planning to sneak out later because you heard that there was this party where college students go to at the far-end of town. You always thought that you were too mature for your age so you casually enjoy hanging out with older people. Truth is, you always thought people can see right through your "too cool to be here" attitude and you're worried that people would hate you for it. Maybe Rodrick was right when he said you were only pretending in order to fit in. Did he just figure out your whole double life, the one you tried oh so hard to hide?

The good news is that no one can really tell how old you were when at events like college parties, and you still have your own set of fake IDs from when you were dating your ex. Rodrick didn't ask anymore questions but you can tell that he was curious about it.

"Anyway, let me be frank, you suck at spelling and your grammar is shitty. If I am getting this $100 a week, you need to really mean it."

"Why should I? You're the one getting paid, and if I recall correctly, you lied to me!"

"About what?"

"About Heather!"

"Please, you never had a chance with her!"

Rodrick became silent. His expression pained. You apologized and decided to reach your hand out to him, with the intention of giving him a light tap on the shoulder, but he dismissed it.

"Yeah okay," Rodrick's voice was low and soft. "Whatever," he said after some pause.

He was sitting on the bed and you were facing him, books and notes sprawled out in front of you two. Recently, you've noticed that there's this gnawing feeling whenever you see this side of him, like you want to take care of him. Then again, there is that other side that makes you want to punch him in the face.

"Rodrick," you said softly.

"What?" You detected a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"What if I split the $100? You get $40, I get $60, as long as you take this seriously. And if you take this seriously, we can end today's session a bit early," that last one was for your own benefit.

"Deal."

DOAWK masterlist

[lakesbian]

Will you share your twig fanfic at some point? The lil snippets into their adventures are so entertaining

ok so so far i have. one chapter thats jsut like. a rewrite picking up right after 13.11 that's like "hey what if the way the conversation about jessie liking sy/sy putting up walls went Wasnt wildly homophobic and transmisogynistic." i think it's fine and probably about as edited as it's going to get. i'm trying to add to that at least one more chapter that's about like. The ensuing shitshow (good, funny) of sy being really bad and awkward about actually starting up the relationship with jessie bc hes nervouse. but i'm struggling with finding how to reasonably plotwise add a chase scene/the general shenanigans i want to fit in it so i'm worried i'm gonna get stuck there. the ultimate goal for it would be it being a 2 or 3 chapter affair max that ends in sy & jessie properly starting their relationship. if i get really horrendously stuck i might just post the first chapter alone but id like to try to believe in myself

i have a few other snippets that were just basically like me doing the writing equivalent of doodling like. the sleeping beauty one i posted on tumblr + one re the line abt sy gifting jessie the same pen twice by accident + one re my 'why arent cigarettes in twigland super cool and packed with all kind of random shit' complaint. the only other thing thats. I Guess Finished. is like a snippet re 'hey its fucking crazy that wildbow had jessie pose as sy's fiancee when they infiltrated an academy and it was just literally never talked about' that Spiraled. and now it's 3 consecutive longer scenes that are kinda about how i think jessie & sy should be stupid in love, and kinda about how i think we should kill wildbow for not writing jessie being the world's best most functional fit for sy's psychosexual fixations, and kinda about how i think helen should have a Weird dynamic with them, and kinda about how i think it's dumb that sy never gets to have a more developed/understanding relationship with helen despite spending months living with her as a young adult. realistically i should show it to people who are not my friends at this point but Maybe I'me Shy.

and i also wanna keep working on/finish one i started that's a rewrite/continuation of a scene during the black woods quarantine bit that's about like. their fucked up sad little 17-18yo old married couple with Mortality Imminent vibe. but i feel like i wanna go back to that After i finish the stuff that's chronologically earlier? because i started it first, and i think it helped and was fun as a 'where do they go' thing, but i dunno. i might want to get things more straight in my head with the earlier stuff first even if not everything has to be perfectly consistent with each other.

initially i was envisioning just having one fic i update with snippets in each chapter but the thing is that with snippets Spiraling i dunno how i'd post things. i guess the 13.11-> rewrite would obviously be its own thing, but i don't know if the one i mentioned abt the fiancee stuff would count as its own fic vs a snippets series or What. and i should also really before i post anything have someone who 1. has amenable taste and 2. has actually fucking read twig read it and provide thoughts on if anything should be shot before it makes it out of the carriage. but also i fear we have a milquetoast enough situation going on here that it's one of those things where it's a bit silly to go "here..... Critical Review, Please" because it's not Serious Enough writing 4 that. so maybe i should just post shit who's to say

[letteredlettered]

would you be ok with a comment along the lines of, "i don't even like [character/pairing/trope] but your writing is so good, i really love this fic"? to me that's one of the highest compliments i can give, but i've seen some authors and artists call it off-putting and a backhanded compliment, so i figured id ask you first

I am not often moved to comment, because I am Like That (and that's okay!!!), but I most often feel moved to comment if someone makes me like something I didn't think I would like. In fact, in general, the media that moves me most is often media that changes my mind in some way. And when I am moved in that way, I tell the creator the way they moved me because I agree with you, it's a high compliment.

So, the comment you describe is very nice and I would certainly welcome it.

However. I have definitely seen some folks call it off-putting, and frankly, I find this very understandable. A comment in the vein of the comment you outlined can go in a few ways:

This fic was so good that it made me like [character/pairing/trope], even though I usually hate [it/them]

I like this fic, even though I usually hate [character/pairing/trope]

I like this fic, but I hate [character/pairing/trope]

I would like this fic, but I hate [character/pairing/trope].

I don't like this fic because I hate [character/pairing/trope].

I hope that you can see there's a progression here.

I love comments like 1) and 2)--they're saying "I have a personal feeling, but I'm mentioning it to demonstrate your fic is great!".

I think 4) and 5) are mean, hopefully for obvious reasons. People can say it; I posted my fic in a public place, but I don't have to like it.

For me, 3) walks a line. It doesn't seem to be sharing a personal feeling to demonstrate affection for the fic. It's just sharing a personal feeling. And again, if one is posting a fic in a public place, one has to be prepared for people to say whatever they want in response.

That said, I would write fanfic even if I didn't plan to share it. (I wrote fanfic well before I knew it was a thing; they were just little stories I wrote for myself and never thought to share). I'm not saying I don't care about the response--in fact, quite the opposite. I may write for me, but the reason I post it is because I think other people might care about things I care about, engage with things that are meaningful to me, and enjoy something I've done.

If I've written a character, ship, or trope, it's probably because I enjoy that character, ship, or trope, and want to share that enjoyment with others. A person can tell me they don't enjoy those things. People can tell me anything they want! But it's not why I shared the thing I made; it's not what I'm looking for or hoping for; it's also not very relevant to me. I won't like it and I won't welcome it.

I will add that I have gotten enough comments in the vein of 4) and even 5) that 3) sometimes feels like you're basically saying 4), and sometimes 2) even feels like it starts bleeding into 3). This happens a lot in life: when you have a lot of the same kind of conversation, when a new person comes in and tries to have a slightly different conversation, it feels like it must be part of the same old conversation that you've already been having. It happens way more often on the internet. Because you can't see faces, people don't look or feel like new people, so they might as well be the last person that left that shitty comment.

This bleed-over is unfortunate, but it's also why the actual semantics of the comment feel really important. In the end, I try to be careful to respond to what people actually say, but honestly receiving comments can be a raw business. It's nice when people say nice things! But sometimes people dump on you. Posting a fic is opening yourself up and being vulnerable, which is why imo if you want to comment it's worth it to take a moment to think about how the comment will be received. So, thank you for being so thoughtful, and thank you for your ask.

[undeadbanjos]

Pls tell us about the divorce over fic

pffft yeah okay. but i warn, it's not as fun as it sounds. so. tw for an abusive marriage/relationship.

story time.

so those who follow me currently probably know me primarlily for being one of three people crazy over wishshipping or joey wheeler in general in the yugioh fandom. particularly writing a good 80+ chapter long fic.

however. this was not my first fic. my first fic... was for in space with markiplier.

for those who dont know, markiplier (yes, the youtuber) actually has his own series of (mostly) choose your own adventure videos. and theyre all connected. his last series of videos was split into two massive parts, and he did this q&a after it was all said and done and someone asked if he'd ever do a part 3.

he said, "no, that's up to one of you guys to write."

well after 3 days of obsessively checking ao3 no one had taken up that challenge and even though i had never written a piece of fiction in my life the hyperfixation was so strong i sat down and started writing.

and dear god something came over me. i had 8 chapters written in the span of a day.

for a while, id post two chapters a day. which is...insane. like why the fuck did i do that? but eventually i managed to narrow it down to one chapter a day (which i know is still insane and for some fucking reason is what i currently do when in my writing fits.)

being this manic long fic writer that came out of no where i started to get some attention. memes were made in support of my story. people were talking about it. hell, i started to make friends, really a first for me in fandom space. someone made a joke about making a discord server. i asked if that was a legitimate interest to anyone and i got an overwhelming yes from several people so, i made one.

my husband at the time, found out i was doing something different in my off time. i'd put the baby to bed and go to my computer and start writing. i was laughing a lot more and checking my phone a lot (for fic comments, a habit i still have while in my posting fits). finally he confronted me.

"What is it you're doing on your phone all the time?"

"I.... wrote a fanfic. I get a lot of comments."

"Is it a smut?"

annoyed, I confessed that yes, there were a few smut chapters. He asked if he could read it. I gave him the link.

he was deeply disturbed by the smut. (He didn't even read the rest of it. like....the actual story I was writing.) the smut? I mean dude you could go look at it but I mean it's pretty vanilla sex between two consenting fictional adults, but whatever. I knew he wouldn't like it. at this point in our marriage he had already stated everything I liked was annoying.

anyway. when he found out I had made friends... he got really upset. he didn't want me to have other "influences tainting my mind." i shot him back with the fact he has friends online, so why couldn't i? he didn't like it, but he warned me to be careful.

then i met sitch.

those of you who know me are nodding their head. ah, yes sitch. those who have stumbled upon this rambling probably can tell this is where the story takes a turn because i know how to set things up. by god ive written like 160 chapters of fanfiction at this point.

anywho. this guy comments on my fic and asks permission to make fanart for it. this was so fucking wild to me. fanart? for MY fic? like who would have thought. i reply enthusiastically with a yes and tell him im on tumblr so please tag me so i can see it. a few days pass and i get a dm. it's the same guy. he's made the fanart. i love it. we chat a little about the fic. about in space. about music. slowly it starts creeping into talking about life. about anything, everything. it was kinda wild how i had met someone and felt like ive known him forever. this of course, is sitch. when the discord thing came up, i decided to ask him for help, because i literally didnt even have a discord at the time.

sitch helps me with the discord. we find some mods. we open the floodgates. swear to god about 40-50 people come in. some are more chatty than others. we all chat like good friends. i update the fic daily. we all find out we relate to each other a lot. we have movie nights and game nights. i continue writing the fic, even getting help from sitch at this point. he's become sort of my beta reader. (and now he's my editor thank god the yujou means friendship people have no idea how blessed they are)

i realize. fuck. these people...really relate to me. like me even. and i like them.

and sitch....sitch in particular...i really like.

i am in deep shit.

at this point, my husband is making it well known how much he disapproves how im spending my time. not that... he wanted to spend time with me though? he locked himself in his office and would play his own games. what he didnt like is i had found people that i relate to. that i could talk to. meanwhile i was reaching the point i was afraid to say literally anything around him.

at this point, he started teasing me about "having a crush on markiplier" and he would "joke" about me leaving him for markiplier or some shit. He started arguing with me about sexuality and gender out of no where, knowing what my stance was on it.

I don't really want to get into what my breaking point was.

A few weeks went by. I started to confide in my friends, and I started to confide in Sitch. One night, my brain came up with some logic that if I told him about the feelings I was developing (because they were only growing) he would reject me and we'd laugh it off.

Unfortunately it wasn't so simple.

For a week we were in this odd stalemate. Living in different countries but talking constantly. Having essentially an emotional affair, but knowing there was nothing really to do. I had no belief that I could make it on my own, and I knew I would get a lot of backlash from my family if I were to leave my husband. The weekend came and my husband got it out of me. I had feelings for one of my online friends. And I had confessed it to him.

My husband took my laptop and went through the messages. All of them. i fled to my parents house and tried to warn sitch that he had my laptop.

The next day, my husband convinced me I needed to delete everything. The discord server. My Tumblr. Even the fic. He essentially convinced me I was at an all time low of horribleness, and I believed him.

A week later I couldn't take it anymore. I missed my friends. Id sadly felt more loved by them than anyone around me. Which yeah, is pretty damn pathetic. I left my husband, and found my friends had already made a new discord, waiting for me. They had downloaded the fic, which I slowly re-uploaded and eventually finished. And sitch and I slowly built our relationship, have now met in person, and we're hoping he's able to move down here soon.

So yeah. I wrote a Markiplier fanfic and it led to me getting a divorce. Which honestly, thank god. I don't want to think about what would have happened to me if I hadn't.

[drabbles-mc]

Try Enjoying It

David Hale x Tara Knowles

Warnings: 18+, language, pining

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: I wrote this for the love of my life @garbinge for the Trick or Treat Exchange and I had the time of my life doing it. I've thought so much about these two together in the past and it was so nice to actually get to write something for them. I also realize I haven't really written any canon character x canon character stuff and posted it here but I do have things lurking around in the docs lmao. Anyway! Enjoy!

SOA Taglist: @espieviolet99 @littlekittymeow @i-just-read-stuff @justreblogginfics @withmyteeth @paintballkid711 @jitterbugs927 @fanfic-n-tabulous @mijagif @frattsparty @winchestershiresauce @beardburnsupersoldiers @darqchilddaydreamz @choochoo284 @artemiseamoon @nessamc @proceduralpassion (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

Halloween in Charming was about what you’d expect from any small town. Kids were running from door to door, parents half-heartedly playing catch-up with them to make sure they didn’t get too far away. Lights were on above almost every doorway, decorations abound. It was a sweet scene, for the most part.

Just like every other town, though, Halloween in Charming came with its own set of trouble and chaos. Teenagers were running amok causing trouble. Twenty-something’s partied a little too hard and made some stupid decisions in the wake of it. Extra work for Charming PD, but nothing that was unmanageable—they knew it was coming every year.

The one thing that set Charming apart from other small towns, all 365 nights of the year not just Halloween, was the Sons of Anarchy. And, while the club wasn’t exactly known for being festive on Halloween, they were known for causing trouble. Real trouble. Again, that wasn’t something that was specific to the holidays. It was easier to try and hide their messes when there were so many other things going on, though. And they tried.

Hale missed what the original call was on the radio. The details of it didn’t make it through the static but what he did hear was the location, and that was all he really needed to hear. He tried to wrap up the current situation on his hands as quickly as possible. After all, it wasn’t like the kids buying beer from the corner store with fake ID’s were really doing any serious damage. Hale would never admit it, but he was actually a little impressed that they at least tried to be creative enough with their costumes to not get busted for using fakes. Too bad the man behind the counter had been working there long enough to have seen every trick in the book.

By the time that Hale got to the clubhouse, there were still cop cars parked at the compound, lights on but sirens off. Pulling in, he saw Gemma yelling at one of his other officers, Clay standing just a few steps away shaking his head at it all. Whatever the call must’ve been that triggered this, it couldn’t have been that serious if Clay was still there.

Stepping out of his car, Hale walked over. The second Gemma heard his footsteps on the ground she turned and focused all of her attention on him. “Are you the one who started all of this shit?” she asked.

Hale lifted his eyebrows slightly, the smirk on his face was unprofessional, sure, but it wasn’t as though Gemma was the type to give a damn about professionalism. “I don’t even know why we’re all here.”

“Just you and your guys, looking for any reason to jam us up.”

He gave a slow nod. “Yeah,” sarcasm dripped off his voice, “sounds like us.”

The officer she’d been speaking to previously cleared his throat, earning his way back into the conversation even if he didn’t want to deal with more of Gemma’s wrath. “They took Teller and Winston down to the station.”

Hale nodded. “Alright. You got things here, then?”

The young officer clearly didn’t want to be left to his own devices again with Gemma, but he also knew that Hale only phrased it as a question to be polite—he didn’t have a choice in the matter any more than Jax and Opie had a choice in getting brought to the station. “I got it here.”

Hale whipped into the station parking lot just a handful of minutes later. Hopping out of his car, he wasted no time heading right in. It was impossible to miss that Jax and Opie weren’t the only people who had been picked up over the course of the night. There were a few teenagers in the holding cells—they probably wouldn’t even end up booking them, really, just calling their parents and getting them in a bit of trouble at home. A few hours in a cell might be a decent deterrent for a bit, though, so they let them marinate in there.

He ran into Unser before anyone else, which he should’ve seen coming considering who it was that was picked up. There hadn’t been a time in recent history when Unser didn’t look annoyed, but he seemed more annoyed than usual under the current circumstances.

“What’s going on, Chief?” Hale asked, more smug than he had the right to be considering he didn’t have any idea what was going on outside of Jax and Opie being picked up.

“Why don’t you tell me. What the hell are you hoping to get out of Jax and his friend in there?”

Hale held his hands out just slightly, palms out like a sign of innocence. “I didn’t bring them in—I just showed up after the fact.” He paused, letting Unser turn that information over in his mind before asking, “What’d they get brought in for?”

“What started off as a noise complaint turned into assault on a police officer,” one of their other officers piped up before Unser could try and respond to downplay the issue.

Hale couldn’t hide the confusion on his face. “Assault on a—”

“Jax took a swing when one of the guys got smart,” Unser said with a shake of his head.

“When he got smart?” David couldn’t stop the incredulity from sneaking into his voice. He knew that Unser was always going to be pulling for the men in the MC, but sometimes it still managed to shock him.

“Yeah,” Unser replied, no hesitation, just as stubborn as the man in front of him. “Maybe we should have the rookies stop following you around—put ‘em with someone who can teach a little bedside manner.”

Hale rolled his eyes. “Like you? Might end up getting a little too close to the be—”

“Yo!” Jax yelled out from the cell. “Hale, what the hell are we doing in here?”

Hale chuckled. “From the sounds of it, you’re here because you assaulted a police officer.”

Jax scoffed. “Assault. Jesus Christ. Gemma’s hit me harder than I hit him.”

Hale didn’t mean to smile but he still did. “I believe that.” He paused, sucking in a deep, dramatic sigh as he dragged the moment out longer than necessary. Anything to get more of a rise out of Jax. “Assault on a police officer. Not great for either of you, considering everything. Bail for that isn’t gonna be cheap.”

“You serious?” Opie piped up.

Hale shrugged. “Or you can ride it out. Go home in the morning.”

Opie grunted before letting his head fall back against the wall. “Fuck that.”

“Well, guess there isn’t anything I can do for you two, then.” He turned to Unser and the other officer. “Make sure they don’t manage to slip out. Cut ‘em loose in the morning.”

Unser tried to stop him. “Do you really think this is the best use—”

“They can post bail or they can wait it out,” Hale cut him off. “Just like everyone else in Charming.”

Hale was turning on his heel and heading towards the exit before Unser could get another word in edge-wise. He left them with a remark about how if they managed to get anything in a report that could actually stick, to leave it on his desk and he would look at it in the morning. Realistically, Hale knew that whatever someone had called in on the club for, wasn’t going to amount to anything. Same way that Jax and Opie getting into it with his guys wasn’t going to stick either. He was aware of all that, but he was also aware of the fact that it was all going to be annoying and inconvenient for the club. That was worth it enough, in Hale’s opinion.

When he was walking down the steps of the station, he saw a familiar car rolling onto the lot. He slowed down as his boots hit the pavement. The cocky feeling that just had him walking tall out of the station evaporated immediately when Tara’s cutlass slow to a stop and park right next to his Jeep.

“Shit,” he mumbled under his breath, forcing himself to keep walking. He didn’t know why he felt guilty as he walked closer to her car—none of what had unfolded was his fault. And it wasn’t even like anything had really happened. It certainly wasn’t the worst run-in Jax had ever had with Charming PD.

Clearing his throat, Hale got her attention as she was putting her car keys into her purse. “Tara.”

Looking up, her eyes widened slightly for a moment in surprise until she saw who it was that was speaking to her. Her expression relaxed a little bit then, her tiredness showing through a little more. “Hey.”

“What’re you doing here?”

She laughed half-heartedly. “I think you know.”

“You’re not,” he motioned over his shoulder with his thumb, “you’re not here to bail him out, are you?”

“You want me to just let him sit in there?” she asked with a small smile.

“I think you know,” he turned his words right back onto her.

She laughed again, this time a little more genuinely. “David.”

He was smiling before he even realized it. One simple utterance of his name from her and suddenly he felt like he was right back in high school all over again. She always said it the same way, that note of softness that he didn’t hear from anyone else. Even back then. And now, when everyone in Charming had taken to calling him by his last name, and usually with no hint of softness whatsoever, it landed a little harder.

He knew he was too late to stop himself from getting side-tracked with the thoughts of it all, of her, but he still tried to distract himself by dealing with the situation at hand. “Let someone else babysit him for the night.”

She rolled her eyes, still smiling. “I’m not his babysitter. I’m…” she trailed off for a moment, amusement dropping from her face for a moment before she tried to recover, “his emergency contact, apparently.”

“Tara.”

He didn’t have to say anything else. Letting her head drop back, she sighed. “I know.”

“Jax is a big boy—he’ll be fine for one night.”

“You’re enjoying that, aren’t you?” she asked, already knowing the answer.

“You should try enjoying it too,” he suggested with a slight grin. There was a beat of a pause as they both chuckled before he got the courage to just ask, “You two…?” He wanted to finish the sentence but he couldn’t, mostly because he was afraid of the possible answers.

She shook her head. “No. We’re…that’s…no.”

“Right.”

It all felt so similar. Hale wasn’t sure how much he bought into the notion of deja vu, but something about standing there with Tara gave him a feeling that was about as close to that as he could imagine. There were a lot of years and changes between who they were now, and who they were back in high school, sure. But some things clearly hadn’t changed. Tara came back and suddenly old routines were kicking up again—her trying to clean up after Jax, Hale trying to get her to stop. The longer he stood there and looked at her, the more he realized that old habits were accompanied by old feelings. That sense of pining settling into his chest again—it didn’t feel any less hopeless now than it had then. Back then it had always been her looking at Jax, Hale looking at her. He had to hope that some things could be different now, though. That maybe he had a shot now that he hadn’t back then.

“You should go,” he said, firm enough to not sound quite like a plea even though it was one.

She sighed, nodding. “Maybe.”

He saw the slightly lost look on her face and frowned for a moment. Resting his hands on his belt, he said, “You remember, what was it, sophomore year?”

She raised her eyebrows slightly, but there was a hint of a smile on her face. “It’s all a bit of a blur—you’ll have to be more specific.”

Hale chuckled. “Halloween, sophomore year. All of us were supposed to be going to—”

Recognition flashed across her face. “The haunted house.”

He nodded, smiling. “The haunted house, yeah. We were about to head in when a bunch of their friends came by and pulled them away.”

Her laugh turned into a scoff. “To go and egg houses.”

Hale nodded again. “Right.”

Tara gestured towards the police station. “I think this is where they ended up that night too.”

He laughed. “Probably.”

“I was so mad.”

He laughed a little harder. “I remember.”

“That wasn’t a bad night, though.” She crossed her arms over her chest, smiling as it all came back. “We went to the diner, right? Ate our body weights in breakfast for dinner.”

“Yeah,” he said, the grin on his face coming a little more easily now, less guilt behind it.

There was a pause. Tara was waiting to see if Hale was going to get into his Jeep, and Hale was waiting to see if she was going to do what she’d originally shown up to do and go into the station to bail out Jax and probably Opie too. That was the position they were always left in, always waiting for the other to do or say something more. If only either of them had ever figured out what the other was thinking.

Reaching back into her purse, Tara pulled out her car keys. When she looked back at Hale, she smiled, looking a little less tired than she had a few minutes before as she asked, “Are you busy right now?”

He shook his head, caught between feeling relief and excitement at the question. “Was just about to head home.”

She motioned towards her car. “Wanna go eat? Bet the diner still does breakfast for dinner.”

He nodded without hesitation. “Absolutely.” He chuckled. “Think I’ll get a discount if I tell them the uniform is a costume?”

Tara laughed. “Should’ve worn my scrubs.” She shook her head with another laugh before saying, “I’ll meet you there?”

“Yeah, yeah that sounds good.”

[thestrangeillusion]

a get to know you better meme

Ahhh this took me more than a month to get around to doing, but I didn’t forget about it!! Thank you so much for tagging me @dummerjan! <3 <3 <3

do you make your bed? No, I don’t really see the point tbh, I’ll only be messing it up in the evening again anyway.

what's your favourite number? Umm, 7 I think? There’s not a particular reason for it though. I do have a soft spot for 21 as well for entirely SKAM related reasons haha.

what is your job? I do scientific evaluations of (primarily) government programmes.  

If you could go back to school would you? Hmm, there’s some appeal to that because I didn’t hate school and the structure and routine of it was mostly good for me, I think. But the thought of being a teenager again and being cooped up in a room with 25+ other teenagers for a minimum of 30 hours a week – no, thank you. But if school is meant in the way US-Americans sometimes use it, as in also meaning further education, then I could be convinced. I mean, I still have to write my master’s thesis, so I’m technically still a student, but I sometimes think re-doing my first couple of years of undergrad (and maybe making some better decisions lol) could be fun.

can you parallel park? Nope, I can’t even really drive anymore, I’m pretty sure, even though I do have a licence. It’s more of a glorified ID at this point because I haven’t actually driven a car in like 4 years or so and even before that I honestly wasn’t very good at it (driving or parking).

a job you had that would surprise people? Not really tbh.

do you think aliens are real? I mean I am pretty sure there are forms of life on other planets, since some of them have been found to have inhabitable environments. If it’s intelligent life I don’t really feel qualified to say although, if I remember correctly, one of my good friends who’s doing a PhD in astrophysics and is one of the smartest people I know once made a pretty convincing argument for it (but I have since forgotten what the argument was lol).

can you drive a manual car? Refer to the question about parallel parking above. I learned to drive in a manual car (I’ve actually never driven an automatic), but I’m fairly sure I don’t actually know how to do it anymore.

what's your guilty pleasure? That’s a difficult question. Reading fucked up smut fics is definitely one of them, I guess. Also does pissing away many of my weekends by staying in bed all day and reading or writing fanfics instead of putting effort into having a social life count? Because I also do that and I do enjoy it, but it’s painful whenever anyone asks what I did on the weekend lol. There’s only so many times you can say “Nothing much” tbh.

tattoos? I like them on other people, mostly. My cousin has a full back tattoo in colour and is slowly adding onto it so that it expands to her arms and sides and I always love seeing which new piece she’s gotten tattooed since I last saw her. It just suits her really well and she’s super passionate about the motive and I love that. And I think that’s where the problem lies for me, I just don’t have any motive or phrase or whatever that I am passionate enough about to permanently put on my body tbh. Also, I am scared of pain and needles, so…

favourite colour? Burgundy.

favourite type of music? Ooof that’s hard to answer, I listen to so many different types of music. One genre I’ve liked pretty consistently from my early teens until now is (mostly British) indie rock and alternative rock – I really like Muse, Placebo, Arctic Monkeys, The Libertines and Nothing But Thieves, for example. And I’ve been to quite a few tiny club concerts of that genre because I know I’ll enjoy it even if I don’t know the band or any of their songs beforehand.

And then I also go through intense music phases mostly related to TV shows I love – it started when I was like 13 watching Gossip Girl and obsessively listening to Death Cab for Cutie, Bloc Party and Sum 41 to when I watched SKAM and got very into Norwegian music (the Norwegian singer/rapper Cezinando still features consistently in my top Spotify artists and has done so since 2017). And now that I’m watching Thai BLs, I started with an obsession about Jeff Satur’s music (and listened to nothing else for like 2 months) and am now gradually venturing out into discovering other Asian music (I’m really enjoying WOODZ, Hua Chen Yu and Violette Wautier so far). So that was a lot of rambling, but still barely covers half of what I actually love listening to…

do you like puzzles? I haven’t done puzzles in aaages, but I have very fond childhood memories of doing them with my grandparents on NYE while waiting for midnight. I think I would still enjoy them if I did them now.

any phobias? Not really. Stuff I’m pretty scared of, sure, but no full-blown phobias.

favourite childhood sport? Hmm, in terms of the sports we played in school, I really enjoyed “Völkerball” (which I’m pretty sure vaguely translates to dodgeball, but I don’t think it’s entirely the same thing). The only problem was that I was really good at dodging the ball and never getting hit, but very, very bad at catching the ball or hitting other people with it, so I could never actually end the game by taking out people on the other team either.

I only started in my teens, but I also really enjoyed (and still enjoy) climbing and bouldering. And my family went skiing every winter when I was a child, which I hated at first, but started to enjoy in my early teens when I didn’t have to do lessons with a bunch of other kids tumbling down the mountain anymore.

do you talk to yourself? All the time in my mind, and sometimes out loud when I’m on my own (particularly when I’m frustrated about something).

what movie(s) do you adore? I actually really love heartwarming feel-good movies tbh. One of my favourite movies is Pride (2014) because it just radiates so much joy and solidarity and a will to live and make things better that always lifts my mood. And I can’t even tell you the amount of times I’ve rewatched Mamma Mia. Another genre of movies I seem to enjoy is movies about female rage a.k.a. women going batshit crazy but being totally justified in it, such as Promising Young Woman or Gone Girl. I do generally prefer watching TV shows to movies, though.

coffee or tea? I get the jitters and become hyperactive in a really uncomfortable way when I drink coffee, so I rarely do. I mostly drink black tea or Mate for the purpose of waking me up.

first thing you wanted to be growing up? Well, according to old friendship book entries, I first wanted to be a princess (until my mum bought me a book about the Habsburgs and I quickly abandoned the idea, which I think was the point) and after that a cook.

Tagging @crumchycow, @mightymightygnomepriest, @salamander89, @fiddlepickdouglas, @obscurecurse

and @lilmaemae and anyone else who wants to do it 😊

[ben-wisehart]

hi! do you ever feel like the bingqiu fandom is binghe biased? like a lot of the time its giving.. “wow binghe is our little precious bun who deserves the world and more! ..oh and stinky neet loser sqq is so blessed to have him lul” it feels unfair towards sqq :( it makes me sad hes no ones fave but thats okay like whatever right? but even when its bingqiu hes treated like an afterthought. like we have binghe fans criticising sqq for not doing more, sj fans are frankly delusional, sqh fans think hes “too mean” to their precious hamster, liushen fans only like him bc hes a good hole/dick for lqg (obligatory “not all men” lol) idk i only follow a handful of svsss twt accs because no one seems to like him, he feels either tolerated or treated as a gag character lol 🥹

i just dislike a lot of fanon bingqiu i think? i read all the books before hopping on twitter and i see some absolute rancid takes on there like the woobification of Shaun(tm) qinghua and jiumei.. which is easy enough to avoid tbf so whatever floats their boat idc. but when i follow bingqiu accs, it feels like OC x OC rather than ~bingqiu~ if that makes sense? like i LOVE the manipulative crybaby domtop x flustered thin face subby pillow princess they have going on!! and fanon bingqiu is just.. not it? and obv id never send hate or anything (i just block and keep it moving) but it makes it kinda sucky when the fandom is already teeny tiny and a large chunk of the fandom isnt what i envisioned/expected i guess which is so odd! when they essentially erase canon!! if it’s like some queerbaity ship or whatever, people can characterise them however they want but its like CANON how they act/are in bed/etc and its all taken away!!! idk im probably just whining sorry 😭

(i included all my thoughts here sorry for the spam!!)

hey, thanks for stopping by!! I definitely know what you mean with regards to SQQ, but I will assure you that there are very much still plenty of dedicated "sqq mains" out there. My sphere of influence on twitter is heavily biased toward people for whom sqq is their favourite character, so maybe I'm not getting a representative sample of the fandom overall, but he's definitely a very well loved character and has more than his fair share of people who do him justice in their writing and for whom he's their primary blorbo!! I remember posting this on reddit a while back and more than half of the responses (though admittedly a small sample size) had him as their fave. So, I don't think he's without appreciation!

But with that said, I do get where you’re coming from. I’m not gonna talk about readers who take his actions in bad faith and actively dislike him (HOW??), but as you��ve said, even among people who do like him, we don’t always understand him as well as we could. Most fans do get on some level that he’s an unreliable narrator, but it’s still very common for people to take him at face value and completely miss his depth. He’s a funny little guy with amusing narration, but he’s also kind and selfless, and he’s also smart and witty, and obnoxious and annoying, and frankly pretty insensitive, and deeply, deeply traumatised—and a million other things! He has layers.

I think all popular characters in fandom will inevitably start getting boiled down to a few key traits. And as somebody who’s been writing fic for 15 years, it’s really hard not to let your own biases colour your portrayal? I absolutely do it with SQQ!! I focus on his kinder, warmer aspects and downplay his flaws, I’ll readily admit that. We all get drawn to a favourite character for a certain trait, and that trait becomes the grit around which our interpretations form. If you’re somebody that likes silly characters, you’re going to write SQQ and dial his silliness up to eleven. If you like kind characters, you’ll write SQQ with emphasis on his kindness. None of these traits are OOC in and of themselves, but if you start to only read fanfic and don’t revisit the source material, you can get lost in what’s popular and forget all the depth that actually made them interesting in the first place. And once you’ve grown attached to a particular version of the characters in your head, it can be really hard to let go of it. I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but I'll add that I think protagonists are just particularly prone to this happening because they're usually the one the audience relates to most.

Idk if any of that really addresses the stuff you were talking about. You mentioned dom top Binghe/pillow princess sqq and to be honest I’m kind of reluctant to talk about this in depth because I’ve received negative comments in the past for supposedly being anti-bottom Binghe, when all I’ve ever said on this matter is that I think it’s a bit weird to insist that “I’m scared of hurting you so I might as well let you do it” is proof that Binghe is canonically a bottom. The fact that someone found that statement so threatening to their view of the characters that they would go to my ao3 page, click on the first fic they saw that happened to feature bottom SQQ and leave their holier-than-thou anonymous opinion there is just bizarre to me.

To be honest tho, it tends to be Binghe characterisation that puts me off moreso than Shen Qingqiu. The only SQQ characterisation that truly bothers me is when people write him as willing to hurt Binghe, or willing to do anything with underage Binghe, but there is a LOT of Binghe stuff that I’m sensitive too. Idk if you read this thread of mine but like, even my friends whom I love make “Binghe stalking/imprisoning/"atticwifing" SQQ” jokes and these bother me way more than any random stranger saying SQQ would get off on spanking Binghe.

And like, it’s kind of hard because objectively, Binghe is a very dark character, so it doesn't feel particularly OOC to say he would do those things, but it's about framing. It bothers me when the emphasis is on how fucked up he is and not how hard he's trying, because it implies a level of futility that I just don’t think is there in canon. To me the beauty of him is in how much doing right by SQQ doesn't come naturally to him, but he ultimately decides to do it anyway because he wants SQQ to be happy. (I feel it needs to be said that I don't mean this in a judgy "if you write dark Binghe you don't understand him and are a bad person" way. Just that I myself can't handle that, and I strongly disagree if you think it's where Bingqiu's relationship is headed).

but idk, I've found my corner and I'm very happy here. I actually don't read fic as often as you'd think, mostly because I am sooooo picky, so I totally get where you're coming from :) but the fandom is still decently sized and very diverse, so there are always going to be at least a few people who share your feelings, if you can find them!

[firendgold]

Ok so bc anything i do in this fandon is specifically to piss that woman off, i gotta ask:

Do you have any ideas for fic scenarios for trans!albus and/or trans!Harry? (time travel harrydore or not, you pick)

so funny story anon, my instinctual answer for this question was "no, I've never thought about it, sorry"—but as I was writing that reply a while back, I actually started getting ideas. It was wild. (That's also why this took so long to get out, sorry!)

trans!Albus is easier for me to imagine for some reason. I had this idea where his entire early life could be rewritten just to do a deep dive into the Dumbledore family dynamics when the firstborn prodigy half-blood son is AFAB instead. How that might change Percival's actions on Ariana's behalf (or not), if he doesn't have any thoughts in the back of his mind about leaving his family in his "eldest son's" hands. How that could change the rivalry between Albus and Aberforth, who might not be super tolerant of an uppity older sister who's also queer. We still don't know much about Kendra somehow, after 1 billion years of Pottermore, but whether or not she's accepting of Albus' gender identity and sexuality could be their own spin-off fanfics, they're that fascinating. Her own Native history could then be touched on as well.

All these things together could be a point of personal conflict for Albus, who's already a living embodiment of a taboo Native/European union and might have to wrestle with what's accepted from him as a Good and Proper Woman of English society re: marriage and carrying on some (other) pureblood's line, along with protecting Ariana's secret and "making up" for his father's crimes.

I don't know if Albus' sexuality changes. If it doesn't, I can see him being briefly confused about What Elphias Is To Him when he gets older, and Elphias is getting his own messages from home about How Much Time He's Spending With That Dumbledore Girl. I imagine there would be a lot of conversations between Albus and Kendra, and Albus and other peers, about who he was going to marry and what his "prospects" were since his father's a known criminal. And Albus, beyond not identifying as a girl at all, would find all this discussion about such trivial sexist matters frustrating as hell.

Unfortunately, I see everyone at Hogwarts misgendering Albus while he's a student, or pretty much everyone. Like, he eventually tells Elphias who accepts right away (and is confused about What That Means for Him in private), and maybe a few other students, but none of his professors are Getting It. His stellar academic record probably keeps him from being bullied as much, but doesn't entirely protect him from rampant transmisogyny and slurs when he outperforms people.

But regardless, assuming the "major beats" of history play out the same way, I can see Albus being a lot more proactive re: marginalized rights than he already was in canon, and perhaps moving the overall British Society Needle way further to the left, because it's one thing to talk shit about the powerful, progressive, weird old man that no one really knows is gay but can kick your arse without breathing hard, but another thing entirely to talk shit about your trans, out and proud, progressive Supreme Mugwump who has already freed all the elves, speaks all the magical creature/Being languages, is raising your kids at school better than you are at home, AND is still gay and can still kick your arse without breathing hard.

This is all, of course, imagining that Albus is AFAB and identifies as male. If it's the other way around and Albus is AMAB and identifies as female... I can't even imagine. I'm not cool enough ig

As for Harry, it's weird but I don't have any trans headcanons for him during his Hogwarts years. It's kind of similar to how I don't read many genderbent!Harry fics unless I adore the author, because even though I'm a girl I can't imagine Harry IDing as one for some reason. (I'm very limited, I know.) BUT. For some reason this changes when you bring in time travel harrydore.

With the ship as the parameter, I can imagine an AFAB Harry who's spent his whole life chafing at the clothes Aunt Petunia gets him—because 'unfortunately' (for her), even pre-puberty, she can't just give Harry Dudley's cast-offs unless she wants The Neighbors to start lifting eyebrows and asking questions—because they're girl clothes and along with just not fitting in to the Pristine Pretentious Family with her messy hair and tight clothes and taped-up glasses, Harry has never felt like a girl. He insisted on having people call him 'Harry' as soon as he could talk and get away with it, and only has to hear his deadname from his teachers and with the Dursleys.

This all of course changes once McGonagall is reading names on the Sorting List in 1991 and just barely doesn't stumble over Harry's preferred name being on the list instead. (She is surprised only because Harry is famous. By the time Harry goes to school, there have been many other out trans students in this headcanon. But probably very few under her eye have been quite this famous.)

I've always personally headcanoned Harry as bisexual, but I don't know if that would be the case in this particular headcanon. I can still see him going after Cho, and perhaps even Ginny. I can see him having the same confusion about What Are Ron and I To Each Other that a trans!Albus had about Elphias a century ago, without ever living his Hogwarts life as a girl to anyone but his enemies (and having a lot of friction with canon!Hermione and/or Lavender as a result). I can see Draco hating Harry even more, because he always kept "her" in the back of his mind as a Dark Lady he could serve under in all ways, only to have this... boy being his rival and Quidditch better and wanting absolutely nothing to do with the Malfoys or purebloods or knowing her place.

A thought that sticks in the back of my mind is that JKR (otherwise known by me as That Woman (derogatory)) specifically wrote Harry as a boy for a lot of reasons, and the main one being that she always planned for him to live and pass on his line in the "traditional" way, and having her titular character be a girlboss would've derailed that status quo. In a universe where Harry is AFAB, I can imagine a lot of related conversations with and around Harry about this. How "she" is "the last Potter" that there will ever be, because naturally she'll marry into one of the families and the name will be lost forever. I can see this being a real bone of contention with Harry and radicalizing him, along with Voldemort and the discrimination against werewolves and house-elves and centaurs and veela (which I doubt even one dedicated Dumbledore would be able to get rid of), making him take his place as the next generation leftist magical powerhouse.

And so how does all that change his relationship with Dumbledore? I... don't really see it changing much. If both characters are trans, that's another point of connection for them that bonds them through all the mess the government and society puts them through. It makes Albus a figure for Harry to admire as a young boy ("look, the most powerful wizard in the world is just like me!") and to still anguish about as a young man ("all the choices he made that I don't agree with, all the secrets he kept from me, how do I know I won't make the same mistakes or make no better progress than he did?"). Their relationship could be all the more painful or distant if one of them is out and one is in the closet, like an Albus who never came out or transitioned and is seeing in Harry the upright boy he could have been, or if Harry is resentful of Albus living his truth because he, a knobbly-kneed adolescent girl, doesn't have the power, freedom, or influence to be who he truly wants to be.

But focus! I'm focusing! Time travel Harrydore. The specific scenario I was imagining was one where AFAB Harry never comes out to the general public. His loved ones who are his peers know, but all the adults in his life (yes, including Remus and Sirius) never get to meet him properly. They die thinking of him as "James' daughter". And after defeating Voldemort, Harry just can't take the idea of spending any more time not being the person he wants to be. He's done being the Girl-Who-Lived so he writes goodbye letters to Ron and Hermione and does some ancient ritual without anyone knowing, and instead of changing him at the molecular level it flings him back to the past.

And so unlike a lot of time travel fics (including mine lol) where Harry is grieving his true time and desperate to get back home, this Harry misses his friends terribly, but it doesn't take long for him to see being an unknown in a different time as a golden opportunity. Sure, it would have been better if he'd been flung into the future instead and maybe had more tolerant people instead of less, but no one knows who he's "supposed" to be here. So he can grow into the man he truly is!

And so while Harry is setting up his new life for himself (maybe as some personal tutor, or a backup Quidditch player, or something that keeps him out of the limelight for once?), he runs into trans!Albus who doesn't have many friends and not much else going on for him (depending on who or where Grindelwald is right then), and Harry's nervous but they hit it off and become close friends, and one thing leads to another, and...

*cackles*

Also also, and sorry for sticking this all the way at the end lol, but MUCH RESPECT for hanging around in HPF just to stick in the craw of That Woman. I think I'm adopting your philosophy for the future. ^^

[nobodywritingao3]

angst au of Your Love. alternate version of the story that i dont htink ill end up writing but a version of the story that i really like :3

bullet point fanfic (long post)

so. the version of your love that im writing wont get taken into this direction at all, but i really liked the plotline of this potential fanfic

i dont think ill ever write it but i thought it was cute and fun and mostly just angsty which is 100 percent my cup of tea :3

Your Love AU that will probably never get written lol

picks up several years after phil's reveal (background info: phil is a giant who adopted wil, tommy, techno who are humans. he revealed his nature to them a few years prior in a way that really scared them. vore involved.)

in this au, the family never really healed from what happened

the kids grew steadily distant from him as the years went on & phil tried to make peace with the fact that after they turned of age, theyd probably refuse to see him

he's right, after tommy becomes an adult all three of them disappear from his life

if i were to write this fic, id probably have an angsty chapter where phil tries to invite them home for special holidays and anniversaries and they refuse to come home / gradually refuse to pick up the phone at all, and eventually he gives up and just drinks the holidays away to avoid having to deal with the pain

eventually the king tracks him down & this time phil doesnt win

phil is captured and brought to the kings' dungeons to act as his executor via eating any prisoners or such that the king doesnt like

phil doesnt want to do this so the king casts a few spells on him to make him more compliant as well as to completely erase his memory

phil gets used to his life as a prisoner. insert another angst chapter where phil is abused by the king and made to live in horrible conditions but accepts it because he doesnt think he deserves better. lots of self worth problems and ":( im a horrible giant monster that eats people ;-;" phil just having a horrible time

eventually one of the kids has to return home for something.

pov switch to that kid and a quick catch up chapter where their life is going pretty well, theyre sucessful and happy but theres always a sense that something in their life is missing or wrong. they feel a little guilty for ditching phil. for extra drama the three kids grew apart as adults

they need something from home, so they call the house and no one picks up. they keep calling and nothing happens so they start to worry. they call their siblings and eventually the worry grows

after an uncomfortable chapter where theyre together and weighing the pros and cons of returning home, they argue and agree that they need to check on phil

they go home and find the house completely ruined because of the king's abduction, which at this point happened a few years ago.

they guiltily reflect on the fact that they had no idea that phil had been in trouble for years at this point. angsty reflection chapter where they finally have to confront how they feel about him

they agree to go look for phil

they spend time scouting and researching and are almost ready to give up when they hear through the rumor mill that the king has a "domesticated" giant hes using to execute people

the giants needs handlers because it keeps eating the people who fill the position - most people take the side of the handlers and think the giant is a monster, but tech,wil,tommy see through that and know phil wouldnt eat anyone unless provoked

they sign up to be handlers and because the king sucks the hiring process is flimsy and they get the jobs right away

the potions made phil an amnesiac who doesnt remember anything, including his kids

so tommy, wilbur, techno have to act as his jailers and handlers while he doesnt remember a thing

in the beginning of their relationship he doesnt trust them and kind of hates them, he threatens to eat them a few times and it badly freaks them out, but they tough it out

eventually their relationship grows a lot stronger

caring for him while hes sick and abused makes them see him as he is and theyre all very regretful for inadvertantly putting him into this position, but they never want to tell him how theyre related to him

he likes them and begins to see them as sons but he refuses this part of him because of his self worth problems

theres always an underlying tension, because in the beginning phil had threatened to eat them for real and theyre always acutely aware of the fact that they are his jailers

as they grow closer the king gets angry at them for cutting phil too much slack. insert a horrible angsty scene where the boys are forced to hurt phil and he takes it because he knows the situation theyre in. forced whumpage

at the end hes exhausted and beat down and the kids are all on the brink of tears but he tells them he forgives them

the king's surveillance puts a new strain on the relationship

they start plotting even harder on how to break phil out

the king wants to break down phil's spirit because the kids are starting to uplift him, so he cruelly tells phil that he actually has three kids on the outside who never came for him / abandoned him

tommy, techno, and wil are all losing their minds as this is happening because theyre worried about the effect itll have on phil as well as if this means the king has figured them out

phil is a mess after finding out he adopted human kids who abandoned him when they found out what he was and wil, tech, tommy have to take care of him and get him out of his depressive funk while fully knowing they caused it

insert a few angsty scenes where he talks to them about his sons and is obviously very distraught about it

the boys try to bring him back to baseline but its not going well

they hear through the kings' servants that the king is planning to execute phil because hes getting harder to control, and his most recent bout of sadness has rendered him harder to use

wil, tech, and tommy really start to panic now. they figure out a way to get phil out of the castle

they do the escape attempt

something goes wrong and phil eats one of them thinking theyre one of the king's soldiers, which makes him lose his mind because he thinks theyll die

after the other two get him out they have to explain to him that its fine cuz his nervous system is wired to recognize him as his kids

hes pissed and angrily explaining to them how this is impossible. he does see them as his kids, but his nervous system didnt rewire itself because they were already adults when they met him

reveal time

phil is their dad lollll. those children who left him behind and didnt find out he was missing until years after are wil tommy and tech

phil fully starts to lose his mind

he brings up whoever he stored and they help him shrink down into his human form

hes still an absolute mess. he feels ashamed and embarassed and betrayed and angry / lots of other horrible conflicting emotions

pushes him into the a very sad mood and the boys have to take care of him again

the relationship gets better over time and phil starts to recover

theres an argument between phil and the kids and it makes the relationship tense and awful again

the king comes back looking for phil

he almost dies and the kids save him, and then he has to save them

they get closer

happy ending

it definitely gets less fleshed out by the end, but yeah. basic plotline for the your love angst au i dont think ill ever end up writing.

this would be a story where phil is a giant for like 98% of the story, and vore would probably feature in every single chapter. itd probably be a bit spookier than my other stories for that reason

let me know if this is something youd ever want to see me properly write. i have a lot of passion for this idea and at a better time its the kind of thing id start writing up right away.

im trying to think of a nickname for this au. i think ill go with love stuck from the mother mother song

cool cool. thanks for reading my nonsense!

editing to add a poll actually

[dutifullyshamelessearthquake]

hello hello, just wanna start by saying how i love your work so much, ive yet to read any of your works that i just didnt absolutely love and enjoy.

this might be a different ask than you usually get, but i wanna start getting into writing fanfics as a side hobby for funsies but i dont know where to start. iv noticed your characterization/ character analysis is usually spot on, like i would be reading some of your fics and then id be like “that is lore accurate x character” or “x character would 100% do that” or atleast in my opinion. can i ask what proccess (if there is any) u go through in order to flesh out a character and understand them to be comfortable enough to write them in different scenarios or different AUs?

its alright if u dont accept these kind of requests, but i was super curious so i thought i might ask anyway. Learn from the best they say ;) , but anyways thanks alot in advance and ty for blessing us with those fics, reading them brings me lots of joy :D

Aw, Anon, thank you so much!! This genuinely made me smile! I'm really happy you enjoy my writing! Thank you so much for all your kind words! 🩷

I wish I had one specific process I went through, that I could simply suggest, but really, this is just something that came with a lot of practice, for me. I've been writing for years (long since before I even made earthquake - I have so many unposted works gathering dust, it's laughable!) and the longer I write, the more natural these things come to me.

This is specifically for dialogue, but here's what I still do sometimes. When I write a character I've never written before, I often study a lot what they sound like - rewatch quests their in, listen to all their voice lines. And when I start to write them, at least in the beginning, I try to hear every line of dialogue I write in their voice. And I ask myself "Does this line sound right in Tighnari's voice? Can I imagine this being spoken in Kazuha's soft tone? Would this work in Lyney's voice?" If I can easily hear the line I've written in that character's voice, then it means I'm doing it right. If it sounds out of place, I should probably tweak it. And of course the more you write a character, the more you start to get a feel for them and the more naturally their speech patterns and mannerisms come to you.

I know this doesn't nearly cover everything, but like I said, there isn't really a straightforward way to learn any of this. For me at least, the best way to learn was to jump in and start to write - even if my first few works were atrocious, haha!

I wish you luck on your writing journey, anon! May you have tons of fun with it! And thank you so much again for all your compliments and kind words 🩷

[trashideas]

Fanfic writer Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk who just finished the Scenarios

Part 1

Being the only reader of an entire series is hard. Not because of the pressure to read a chapter as soon as it came out, but because there were no people to interact with.

Dokja couldn't rant about how his protagonist deserves better or about how much he loves the world-building of the novel. It gives little details over the course of the story that builds up into an entire, beautiful, universe.

So Dokja has to turn to himself to give his protagonist any sort of comfort in his repeating life.

Dokja wrote along with the postings of the source material. His paragraphs weren't as detailed or thought out as the source, but they told a story no less.

At first, his musings started in his head. Short snippets of different “what if..?” scenarios.

Eventually, during one of his 43 hours straight of being awake, he wrote down a few sentences. They were mistyped and horrid, but they presented an idea.

“Whas id Yoo Joonghyuk he a hiddy endfing?”

“What if Yoo Joonghyuk had a happy ending?”

And that one sentence broke forth to many more. What were once 1 sentence questions slowly turned into paragraphs and pages.

Eventually, Dokja was writing a chapter each time Ways of Survival posted. He posted none of them, each snippet stayed in his documents for him only. He allowed himself to be greedy with his Protagonist’s happiness.

....

The day came for the final chapter of Ways of Survival and Dokja didn't know whether to be happy, disappointed, excited, or scared. His emotions were haywire but Dokja couldn't allow for a slip of his mask. He was on a public subway. He didn't want to garner any strange looks.

When he is done reading the chapter, he isn't quite sure how to feel.

The ending was open-ended.

So obviously, when Dokja gets home that night, he writes.

He writes the ending that his protagonist deserves. One where the scenarios are over. Where his mind is allowed to rest. Where he can be happy with the person he loves the most.

Dokja doesn't want to pin his protagonist with anyone for his perfect ending. While Joonghyuk once had a child with Lee Seolhwa in the second regression, he never showed interest in her since. If that was because he lost interest or he didn't want another heartbreak, Dokja didn't know.

Dokja’s ending statement was simply,

“Yoo Joonghyuk finally allowed himself to breathe a sigh of relief. All of the regressions allowed for this. An ending to the Star Stream.

An ending to the fighting.

An ending to the grief.

And an opening to be happy.

Yoo Joonghyuk could finally be happy because he had everything he has ever come to cherish and there was no threat of it being taken from him.”

Dokja felt satisfied with the new ending. He himself felt happy for his protagonist despite this not being the true ending.

Then Dokja promptly passed out from sleep deprivation.

....

There was a knocking on the door.

Dokja had the thought to ignore it, but he couldn't bare the thought of one of the kids standing at his door, waiting for him to answer. He begrudgingly dragged himself out of bed to answer the door.

And holy fuck he was not prepared for what awaited him on the other side.

He blinked a few times to make sure his eyes did not deceive him. He wasn't sure if it was better or worse that this absolute *unit* this drop-dead *gorgeous* man was actually standing in front of him.

“Sorry for waking you up,” the beautiful man said, holding out his hand for a handshake, “but I wanted to introduce myself before I needed to work. I just moved in to the unit next door.”

Dokja dumbly took his hand, “ah- my name is Kim Dokja.”

“Yoo Joonghyuk.”

Dokja’s brain malfunctioned. Joonghyuk let go and disappeared into the door next to his, proving that he did live next door.

Dumbfounded, Dokja went back to bed.

...

When he woke up to his alarm, Dokja figured that he had one of his hallucinative dreams again and didn't think much of what happened. He got up, dressed for work, and left, not even glancing at the door next to his.

Dokja spent his day wondering what to do. Did he just reread the novel? Should he pick up something else?

On the subway home, Dokja checked Ways of Survival to reread it.

It wasn't there.

Dokja felt as if there was a gaping hole left in his heart, a void that used to be where Ways of Survival sat.

At least... He still had the happy ending that he wrote for Yoo Joonghyuk. He opened up his documents to reread what he wrote the other night to fix up the mistakes that his sleep-deprived mind made.

[This account doesn't exist!]

[This account doesn't exist!]

[No internet connection]

What? Dokja checked his email and it was fine, so then why were his documents not loading? He would try again when he got home. He could at least try to open them on his computer.

...

[everythingsinred]

I spent a whole day reading your Natsume analysis and am so excited to read Mikan's version. I wanted to ask about your thoughts on what Natsume was doing during the four years he was apart from Mikan. In Kageki, we learn that he took a lot of missions to get credit. But what do you think his mental state was like? Do you have any fic recs? I love making myself sad from Natsumikan angst.

hi! im so happy you read the natsume analysis! it makes me happy to hear people enjoyed it! i just recently made a table of contents for my essays and general ga postings so if you need help navigating the mikan essays, check out my pinned post <3

to answer your questions about what natsume was up to while mikan was gone, im pretty sure in kageki narumi mentioned that natsume had some negative behavior and attitude, but the extent of that is left vague. allegedly the missions he went on after she left were not alice-heavy or life-threatening but we know that one of those missions was to be toma's bodyguard and... bodyguarding tends to be dangerous? thats in the job description, pretty much literally. im not entirely sure how he was expected to bodyguard WITHOUT using his alice, but thats what they imply. did he take martial arts? did he carry a gun? who knows really. either way he should not have been permitted to continue doing any missions.

just in general, i think he was pretty depressed without mikan around. i mean natsume was in a HORRIBLE suicidal depression for two years before he met her and falling in love with her happened because she saw value in his life that he hadnt seen before. while she was there, he had developed a sense of purpose in his life and a will to live he hadnt had. it was bc of her that he started bonding with class b. now that shes gone, im sure hes very upset especially because its not certain he'll ever be allowed to see her again, granted he even lives that long.

but as much as i see him being depressed and a little miserable, he still has friends and a strong support system at the academy now. he has his best friend, plus the kids he allowed himself to befriend while mikan was around. theres pictures in the memorial book that depict middle-school aged natsume hanging out with The Boiz, and there's photographs in kageki that imply he wasnt completely isolating himself from his classmates during mikan's absence.

so with that in mind, i think he's depressed and sad about mikan being gone for sure, but he still has a will to live, a support system, and a sense of purpose (seeing mikan again) so that he isnt ENTIRELY devastated during those few years.

we can see when he reunites with her that he kinda expected her to remember him as soon as she saw him, and that gives us insight into how exactly he processed her stolen memories. (smth like, "she doesnt remember anything. so even if i did see her id probably have to make her fall in love w me again and im not even sure how i did it the first time! but she did love me right? i mean if she really loved me, she'd remember me eventually. i cant imagine forgetting her so im sure since she loved me that she'll remember as soon as she sees me!" and then he holds onto that thought so tightly that he ends up shocked that she doesnt remember). those thoughts probably kept him afloat too.

i really have mixed feelings about mikan leaving the academy in the first place though. i just dont think that plot point was executed very well so i never really got very into it.

as for fanfic recs, i cant think of many off the top of my head that have much to do with that time period of natsume on his own, but there is this one, (paths that lead home by MCaroba) which is about natsume going on a road trip with his friends!

as for angsty fics that are NOT related to that specific time period, here are some:

Ten Years to Date by November Romeo (the kids are assigned to write about their futures and natsume refuses. canon!verse one shot) (ps lots of her canon fics are in the same universe and theres a deal of angst involved there too, though her canon!verse fics take place in an alternate future of the kids in high school. i do recommend reading pretty much everything she's written for ga)

Tired by FearandLoathingXIX (hurt/comfort related to natsume's sickness. canon!verse one shot)

My Happy Ending by Little Miss Giggle (au where the kids go to a music school.... it starts off silly and fun but it gets pretty damn angsty. multichapter and one of the better known fics in the fandom)

Steal (my breath away) by Rock-n-Round (au one shot where alices exist but they're a bit weird and hard to explain. this one is EVISCERATING. and very beautiful)

Before You Hit the Ground by Ducky-san (au multi-chapter fic where mikan runs away from an abusive home and meets natsume who is in a gang against his will. i actually LOVE this fic so much... but it does contain some triggering material, like discussions of child abuse and implied sexual abuse.)

Right Before Your Eyes by pressuredtreasure (au... i don't think i can say much about this without spoiling it, but it's basically mikan missing natsume)

Oh Hello World also writes a lot of one shots, some of which are pretty angsty.

i'm really sad.... i was gonna link some other fics but i couldn't find them or remember their names and i'm scared they've been taken down. ah the pain of being in an old, less active fandom...

i also write fics too! ive only written aus so far (incidentally, not on purpose), but the angstiest is probably all things rancid and delicate, which is about mikan in a cult (it has a lot of dark elements to it)

im sorry if youre not much an au person, but i havent read much new ga ffn recently and not many good ones have survived the test of time it seems. it's all very sad. i miss reading fanfic all the time AND having lowered standards for gaffn specifically...

i hope i've answered your questions! if you have any other questions feel free to shoot me another ask! i love talking abt ga <3

[myarmsaretoolong]

20 questions (for fanfic writers)

cheers for the tag @sarah-sandwich <3

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

57.

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

412,260

3. what fandoms do you write for?

mcu but mostly just irondad, though i stopped writing that for a bit when a small (large) marauders obsession hit so now i write both depending on the fic im working on. also taken a side step into parkner recently

4. top five fics by kudos:

A Different Future - peter snaps one-shot

Futures are Made to be Broken - more in depth follow up to peter snaps one shot

The Best Day of Harley's Life (and the worst of Peter's) - classic field trip fic only harley is like the tourguide and makes it his mission to ruin peter's day. not actually parkner but for sure the beginning of my growing love for harley

Not my First Time - part of webpril challenge one-shot, tony and peter are stuck under a building, conversation ensue

Where Do You Think You're Going - urrrmmmm good question. its a whumptober one-shot so peter must get beat up. pretty sure its by quentin beck and his drones, lets assume tony finds him and saves the day (its less than 2000 words i could read it and find out but im lazy)

5. do you respond to comments?

i do my best!

6. what is the fic your wrote with the angstiest ending?

ermmm *checks notes* Is This It? springs to mind first. you know the deleted scene of tony snapping and seeing morgan? well in this one he sees peter, only peter is a good few years older and has sorted his life out a bit. its sad obvi, but also kind of happy? the end lines are sad sad though :( so either that or 01/11/81 (if you're a marauders fan you already know that date) which basically very closely follows remus throughout the entire day after james and lily are killed etc. its very angsty all the way through, mary is a sweetheart, and at the end he's left all alone...

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most tbh. im going to say Past, Present, Yet to Come because that's my baby. (peter is the ghost of christmas present, tony is scrooge, only its like the ryan reynolds film spirited, very good)

8. do you get hate on fics?

nope! (and please dont :) )

9. do you write smut?

nah

10. craziest crossover:

well ive only ever written one and it was mcu/glee and there's a reason i never finished it (nor am linking it [insert skull emoji])

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that ive noticed

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

nope!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope! im a solitary kinda guy

14. all time favourite ship?

what a question... wolfstar is a classic, ineffable husbands are precious to me, doctor/rose is nostalgic... i can't pick favourites

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

besides all of them? all of them.

no but really there are so many and i have this problem of thinking of idea -> getting excited -> writing beginning -> not knowing where to take it -> get excited by new idea -> repeat. im working on it though and do genuinely plan to finish them all

16. what are your writing strengths?

yknow i honestly think my general writing is at a pretty good level. defo room for improvement but there always it, int there? id say that's a general strength, but specifically i think im goooood at making things angsty. and i love doing it so win win

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

well... finishing anything. plotting out full stories is a big problem. (though ive recently started a notebook for random ideas for fics and its helping) um... tbh i can struggle with everything from time to time. i think getting characters voices right can be hard cos i often find people saying things they would never say and having to go back and and put them straight. er,,, action can be next to impossible if The Vision isn't there.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

i dont have many. if its a language i cant read i just skim past and sometimes read an end note translation but if there's too much im just going to go with the flow

19. first fandom you wrote in?

mcu

20. favourite fic you've written?

again, Past, Present, Yet to Come is my babygirl. love him to pieces. can i say fics ive not finished yet? because parkner hunger games au and marauders doccy who are fire and one day will see the light of day (and get names)

tagging @winter-turtle @helloliriels erm ive forgotten everyone who has ever existed... @ anyone who i followed in the boopening who writes and @ anyone who just wants to (no pressure at all obvi)

[rainbowsky]

Hi hi! I'm the fic anon from a few days ago! Guess what, I took your advice and got myself to read Epiphyte, and wow you are right it must have healing properties. There's been a lot going on on my personal and professional life lately and it's like that fic was perfectly written for me in this moment. Truly such a great recommendation, I can't praise it enough (the fig tree metaphor is gonna stick with me for a long long time 🥺)

I think what I'm also realizing is that it helps when the writer so clearly writing with love for GGDD as people and not as celebrities meant to simply entertain or fulfill a fantasy, even if it's just a completely fictional and mostly harmless way to show and share that love with others in the fandom. Your comment about sticking to AUs made a lot of sense, cause it is just like watching something starring our boys, which is what we're really wishing for I think, deep down. That and for them to have the sense of peace and joy the fic allows them, it's a good space for hope and love to blossom.

I'm very wary if parasocial relationships as I'm sure many are which is why I had so many reservations about reading ggdd fics in the first place. Remembering it's fiction is one thing, but as someone whose empathy causes them to get so wrapped in the emotions of that which they read, its touch to balance keeping it all separate. I realized it was mostly anoit the names, but if something is written with a fan's love and respect, surely thats not such a bad thing, right? This is the first time ive delved deeper into fandoms for celebs, beyond the simple admiration i feel. Being a turtle has certainly provided me with many firsts (mostly pleasant and not as uncomfortable as i thought it might have been), but its still making me overcome a lot of my own anxieties in a way i never thought id have to. I have a feeling I will be navigating that line for a while, but I'm truly grateful for your encouraging words and stellar recs! Thank you! (I think I might go for that coffee shop rec next 👀)

(Apologies for the long ask, but I have a lot of thoughts and I'm proud of myself for branching out of my comfort zone! Thanks a bunch to you!!!! ☺️☺️☺️☺️)

This is in reference to a previous post.

ANON! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story! It's a favorite!!

It was definitely a bit of a leap for me when I first started reading GGDD fic. I had actually never read fanfic of any kind before becoming a GGDD fan, so it was all very new to me. I asked myself the simple question: Would I be upset if someone had written this about me? And the answer was no. These stories are lovingly written, and most of them very respectful of GG and DD.

Even the ones that I find offensive are obviously not written in a mean-spirited way. They just reflect our differences in interpreting GG and DD, our differences in taste and interests, our different levels of comfort with certain things, etc..

Ultimately I think a lot of misgivings people have about RPF are the result of widespread misconceptions about fan works. I talk a bit about my thoughts on all that here.

I hope you continue to enjoy some of the great stories out there, and maybe even one day try your hand at writing something yourself!

Thanks so much for the update!! 💖

My fic recs can be found here:

GGDD Fic

WangXian Fic