#never thought i would like german music that much but there's nothing like this

[fentanyl-rabbits]

Inspired by this song:

[bamgyw]

˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ the second night ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

the spiritualization of sensuality is called love: it is a great triumph over christianity. - friedrich nietzsche

warnings: +18 getting hornier. pillow,, humping,, heh. a tiny bit of voyeurism as well? fingering. and a lot of male yearning we love that, we love a desperate man. a/n: team we made it to the smut. the hand kissing bit is kind of victorian. jane austen, even. but. i don't care. i’m not 100% happy with the outcome so it might get a little edited in the (distant) future, but nothing fundamental. this is a part of a longer work ♡ go to the beginning here

"i am a forest, and a night of dark trees: but he who is not afraid of my darkness, will find banks full of roses under my cypresses."

beomgyu stumbled upon that quote within the pages of a stolen copy of a book by nietzsche. he had always found himself more drawn to the destructive lunacies of clinically depressed germans than to the saving grace of the holy scriptures. there was no self-pitying in the bible, no self-indulgent sorrow to hold on to.

he had found that book, thus spoke zarathustra, in soobin's room, tossed in the trash. it looked almost new, so he took it out of curiosity.

"why are you throwing this away?" beomgyu asked.

soobin shrugged. "it's a good read if you're a happy person," he said. "but if you're miserable, it'll rot your brain. more spiritual talk and petty self-help in there than in the bible."

but beomgyu quietly took the book without soobin noticing, and he carried it in his back pocket ever since.

he had no intention of reading it from cover to cover, but sometimes he would flip absentmindedly through the pages, fixating on some passages. and that one specifically had reminded him of you. his new meaning. the rose he found in the darkness.

during the day, beomgyu usually roamed aimlessly around the town, drifting along with the rhythms of his headphones. that was pretty much the sum of his daily human activity since he quit college.

it was all he knew how to do, and often felt like all he was good for.

as he walked through the town, the familiar sounds of honking cars, distant sirens, and murmuring conversations mixed with the music in his headphones. the air was thick with the scent of seawater and the faint, sour smell of industry. it was a crummy town, sordid. each step felt heavy, purposeless, leading him nowhere.

he had a few favorite spots he liked to hang around - the port where the boats came in, or the grimy industrial estate where the addicts gathered. they all knew his dad pretty well. and maybe if they knew beomgyu was the son of the man who supplied them with their shit, they'd treat him better. but that's a secret he kept to himself.

instead, he joined in on their petty fights, easily swayed by whatever side fit his mood that day. he was better at fighting than them, but the victory was hollow. he was younger, his body was not rotten –not completely– and he had full motor control over his limbs. but he got pleasure from winning, anyway. he liked to exert some control over someone else for once. 

still, that day he didn't walk to any of his usual spots. he had been feeling a sorrow less violent, an ominous need for silence. his feet, barely in conversation with his brain, dragged him to the town's small church.

he had never really stopped at the church before, just passed by without giving it much thought. but now, standing there, he realized it was probably the most beautiful building in town.

every other construction felt fake, in plastic and plasterboard, but the wooden church had been crafted by the artisan hands of a carpenter and build up by a community. it seemed to be lovingly nursed, too. though the church meant little to him, it was obviously fundamental to others.

when lost and adrift, beomgyu would wander, getting into fights and ruining himself. but under similarly pitiable conditions, others came to the chapel like it was a second home, sometimes safer than their own. beomgyu wished he had something like that, too.

the building was small, but cute. surrounded by a little forest of old camellia trees, its walls painted a crisp white. it was an old building, but it was thoroughly taken care of. the air was different, cleaner, carrying the earthy scent of the camelliae and the faint fragrance of blooming flowers.

beomgyu liked how the wooden cross crowned the roof, marking the building, never allowing anyone to go astray. it must feel good, he thought, to have some guidance like that when you don't know where to go. a flower in the desert, a light in the darkness.

he knew he was being stupid and overemotional. he had never believed in all this religious stuff, and he never would. his relationship with god, if there even was one, was mostly based in resentment. if god was real, he could've treated him better.

and still, he didn't dare to enter the chapel out of some reverential respect he didn't even know he was capable of. so he just stood there, staring at the chapel, feeling small.

he took a deep breath. his cheek still burned where you had kissed him the night before. he really was going out of his mind.

"i want her so bad. and i think she might want me too." he prayed. to the church, to its wood, to the camellia trees, to the sky –he didn't know, he didn't care. "please let me be with her. please don't hurt her because of it, or shame her, or kick her out or whatever it is you do with sinners. i promise it’s not a bad thing. it’s so much purer than you think." he said.

no one answered, of course. there was just silence. some ruffling of the leaves because of the breeze, maybe the trebling chirp of a bird, but no answer. he felt like an idiot.

praying sucked, he ratified. how could you even make sure you were being listened to? it was emotional manipulation, playing with one's hope. feeling down and disappointed, he left.

˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

entering soobin’s house again would have felt like torture, were it not for the certainty that you lived there, too.

soobin never really left the house. he only went out to go to class in the mornings, and he still chose to skip as many as he could. not because he wasn't a good student, he was disturbingly accomplished. he just disliked the people.

every day, soobin locked himself in his room and studied relentlessly. he was determined to make something of himself and leave his stepfather’s house behind. he had a plan. beomgyu didn’t know the details of this plan—soobin never shared it, fearing it might be jinxed if spoken aloud—but it was clear that soobin believed hard work could get him out of that miserable house.

beomgyu thought that rhetoric too optimistic, alienated from reality. but still, he had some admiration for him. unlike beomgyu, who wallowed in his own misery instead of changing his situation, soobin searched for solutions.

beomgyu sometimes found him too sickly and rancorous, but he still looked up to him for his willpower. not that he would ever admit that to soobin.

so when beomgyu got to the house, certain that soobin would be there, he gave him a call. it was a code they had. soobin leaned out of his bedroom window, and threw down the keys for beomgyu to catch so that he could make his way in. 

as beomgyu climbed the creaky wooden stairs, he realised that the usual thrill and allure of sneaking around that house he had felt at night was dimmed in the daylight. he hated the smell of that place, too. the air inside was stuffy, filled with the faint scent of old wood and something slightly medicinal.

as he reached the top floor on his way to soobin’s room, he passed by a closed door. pristine surface, painted white. he knew immediately. a pink mother-of-pearl crucifix hung on the wood.

he stood in front of it, his heart quickening. inside that room lived his little bird, trapped in an evil cage. his angel, his obsession. he gladly would’ve shattered the door with his own hands. let his knuckles bleed, let the splintered wood stab into his fingers. he just wanted to take you away and set you free.

at first he maintained a cautionary distance. he feared that if he got any closer, he would actually do it. but then he saw the little plaque under the cross, in sterling silver, shining when the light hit it. he approached to read what it said.

"the lord is faithful. he will establish you and guard you against the evil one." it said.

beomgyu scoffed, a bitter smile curling his lips. like some metal plaque could protect her, he thought. he's the only dangerous thing in her life. that superstitious fool.

he found it bitterly amusing, to the point of feeding his ego. some cultures hang garlic on the doors to keep away the vampires and the witches. your daddy had hanged a nacre cross to keep choi beomgyu away from you.

he let his hand reach for the crucifix. he traced his fingers over it, middle and index. all the doors had a crucifix of their own, but yours was the only one that wasn't a choppy piece of wood, crude and utilitarian. his thoughts wandered as his fingers brushed over the cool, smooth surface. he must be aware of how pretty she is, beomgyu thought.

as he did, a noise startled him. he jolted away from the door, retreating as far as he could. only when he saw it was just soobin coming out of his room did he catch his breath.

“you were taking too long,” soobin said, his expression gloomy. “i didn’t like it.”

“you care for me that much?” beomgyu asked, a bitter grin spreading across his face as he walked up to him, hands in his pockets.

"well, i let you into my house, didn't i?" he asked, accusative.

"you did." beomgyu replied. “it's not versailles, but it’s cute. lots of quirky decorations.” he shrugged, poking at the crucifix that hanged on soobin’s door, tilting it slightly. "it's like a theme park."

"eveything’s a joke to you." soobin replied. he seemed distrusting, his chest filled with something he probably shouldn't say. but he did, anyway. “you need to forget about her."

“what are you talking about?” beomgyu raised his tone, a flicker of panic crossing his eyes, quickly masked by anger.

“i know you. you’re going to let your impulsiveness ruin everything for all of us. it won’t end well.” soobin said. “she's not like one of those girls you used to pick up at private schools. if you want to manipulate your way into someone's pants, choose someone else.”

beomgyu’s anger flared. how dared he imply those were his intentions? how dared he assume he had any other purpose than caring for his angel and godsend grace?

he took a violent step towards soobin, who flinched slightly but held his ground. “you think i’m dorian gray or some shit?” beomgyu retorted. “you're just pressed because i'm not a pussy like you, restraining yourself to please that maniac. but whatever happens, it won’t be because i forced myself on anyone."

“she doesn’t know what she wants." soobin said. "she’s confused and love deprived.”

“and you’re a patronising asshole,” beomgyu snapped back. "who are you to say anything?"

“you’re playing with fire. if you wanna be a psychotic masochist, fine. but don’t drag others into your mess. get yourself hurt if you want, but leave us out of it.”

“us?" beomgyu asked with a wicked grin. "she's an adult. she can make her own choices. and if your stepdad wants to mess with her because of it, it´ll be over my fucking dead body."

“is this how you repay me for letting you stay in my house?” soobin asked, a mix of hurt and frustration in his eyes.

“thing is," beomgyu began with a cynical laugh. "this isn’t about you. you shouldn’t be this bothered,” he said. “and if you are, maybe you should check yourself and see if you’re acting like your stepfather.”

soobin’s knuckles turned white, but he took a deep breath and held it in. “just. don’t do it." he said through gritted teeth. "it’s not worth it.”

but beomgyu grinned wickedly. he had one last bombshell, one last thing to get soobin fuming. “i’ll let you know if it's worth it or not when i have your sister go dumb on my cock.” he said, feeling a twisted sense of satisfaction.

he shouldn't have said it.

instead of getting angry, as he had intended to accomplish, soobin smirked, too. it was unsettling. beomgyu got a ghostly feeling about it.  "what is it?" he spat out.

soobin inclined his head slightly towards the room with the mother-of-pearl cross—the room of his little bird. beomgyu turned just in time to catch a sliver of a prying eye, peeking through a barely open door. your eye widened when it met beomgyu’s gaze, then you vanished, the door slamming shut.

shit. beomgyu's heart raced, his breath hitching.

soobin smiled, a hint of triumph in his eyes. "consider her warned."

˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

late at night, thoughts of you consumed beomgyu’s mind. he knew he had fucked up. he knew that now you probably thought he was a creep and never wanted to see him again. his mind raced, replaying the words he wished he could take back.

he could’ve played his cards right. go slow, ease you into it. but he wasn't that sure now. the uncertainty gnawed at him, twisting his insides with each passing thought.

soobin's room felt even stuffier than the night before, the air heavy and oppressive. the walls seemed to close in on him, making it hard to breathe. the need to see you pressed down on his chest, but lingering doubt kept him glued to the mattress.

a lone fly buzzed around, its annoying droning echoing through the room and fraying his nerves. each pass it made seemed to grow louder, amplifying his sense of confinement, maddening him.

his mind wouldn't shut up about you. you had struck him as someone who knew how to watch your back. he recalled how cautious you had been around him the previous night, like a dog used to being beaten flinches at the sight of a stick. but your eyes had never left his. not for a second. they seemed innocent, but not naive.

he liked that, he thought. that you were like him, smartened up by your environment. but he liked the innocence too, so much. an untouched you, drowning in chasteness and self-restrain.

uncaressed belly, uncaressed thighs, uncaressed sweet pussy. he could make you feel so good. that was all he could offer, all he could give you. he had nothing else.

he knew he should let the thought go. that he should start wrapping his mind around forgetting about you. but it was late, and he was tired, and the only picture that lingered in his mind was a pearl choker and a rosary over a tender neck.

with soobin's steady breathing beside him, perhaps even asleep, beomgyu lay staring at the ceiling. images of you fluttered behind his closed eyelids, all imaginations of his lovesick mind. illicit, probably, but fated.

he thought of your pretty lips whispering praises meant for him, kissing his cheeks, his jaw, the curve of his neck. he wanted to know the taste of your mouth, the softness of your touch.

had you even been kissed yet? with a father as twisted as yours, it seemed unlikely. beomgyu wanted you to never have been kissed. he wanted to teach you how to do it himself. eat your mouth out, nibble at your lips and press them gently. but not hurt you. that was new. 

he would start slow, so that you’d want more of him. then he'd deepen the kiss, his grip on you tight, giving into whatever you asked for, never letting you go hungry. the tingling started, the blood pumping.

pause. he thought as soon as he became aware that he was getting hard. his rational mind tried to assert control, to rein in his desires. you loser, just by thinking of kissing. be cold-minded. a voice told him. actions have consequences. 

the voice sounded a little like him, but it was surely an imposter. if it wasn't impulsive and hot-blooded, then it wasn't choi beomgyu. 

"i just want to apologise." he lied to himself as he sat up all of the sudden.

he slipped out of bed, his bare feet padding softly against the cool floor. he moved slowly, mindful of the creaking floorboards that threatened to betray his movements.

but a subtle rustle, not caused by him, echoed in the quiet room. the soft shuffle of fabric against skin. soobin was awake, and he had wanted to let him know. but beomgyu couldn't begin to care.

as he closed the door behind him, trying to make as little noise as possible, a sudden thud reverberated through the silence. "shit!" he cursed under his breath. another door in that corridor slammed shut with a resounding roar.

someone left a window open. air currents cause noise, beomgyu mused as he made his way down the dimly lit corridor, his steps quickening with purpose. tomorrow night, he thought, he would make sure all windows were closed before going to bed.

as he travelled the shadowy corridor, he got a chill. he kept hearing the ruffling of fabric, a doorknob twisting, steps against the wooden floor. a shiver went down his spine, but he told himself to forget about. it was all in his head.

he refused to let the silent threat your daddy stop him from seeing you. that liar, that imposter, that self-proclaimed god keeping everyone hostage in his castle of authoritarianism and indoctrination.

when he got to your door, the mother-of-pearl crucifix halted him like a policeman. it seemed more commanding now than it had earlier. it was stupid, he thought, how the night enhanced every feeling. 

the cross regarded him and he regarded the cross. “i just want to apologise,” he told jesus christ. “i said something stupid earlier today, and i wanna make better.” he tried to convince him.

it was just a symbolic plea. a desperate attempt to absolve himself of guilt, to make him feel less lustful, less like a pig. to find redemption in the eyes of a higher power. 

he thought about what soobin had said, about god, about your father, about right and wrong. maybe he wasn't as smart as he thought. maybe he was loosing the game and they were all making him go insane for good.

he debated whether to just turn back after the thought came to him that you didn't even want him there, anyway. how could you want him at all, after just one meeting where all he received was rejection?

sure, he got a quick kiss in the end, but it didn't outweigh the pulling away, the uncertainty, the avoidance. what was he worth, really? nothing. not even worth enduring a scolding from your dad, let alone the weight of guilt. he was making a fool of himself. better leave now before anyone got hurt for nothing.

but as he turned to walk away, his heart heavy and ready to toss aside, he heard a noise from inside the room.

a whimper. it was so faint he was sure his febrile mind had made it up. that he was so schizophrenically in lust he had made you escape that sound in his brain. a whimper. a sweet soft whimper. 

he tried to make sense of it by convincing himself that he heard you crying. he even allowed his sense of self-importance to fuel thoughts of bursting into the room and offering you his shoulder to cry on. to cuddle you, to comfort you.

but when he heard it the second time, his breath caught. this time it was a moan, unless his yearning mind was deceiving him. he pressed his ear to the door. he clearly heard a trail of soft muffled moans. restrained, but just so lewd to his feverish self. his face burned, his cock twitched.

index and middle finger reached slowly for the doorknob. they brushed over it, hesitating. maybe it was locked. and maybe that was for the better. the hand wrapped around it, twisted it slightly. it was open.

holding his breath almost to asphyxiation and in the most silent motion he had ever performed, he peaked in. 

god existed, he found out. his mouth went dry. like a bird in the clouds, surrounded by snowy plush blankets, he saw his little dove making herself feel so good against her pillow.

facing away from him, your legs draped on each side of it. your hips swayed, heavy and slow, as you tried to suppress the soft whimpers your throat escaped.

beomgyu pressed his lips together, teeth sinking into his lower lip until almost drawing blood. the messy nightdress, one delicate strap slipping off your shoulder. how the the silken fabric fell over your ass, not letting him see but inviting him to find out.

he wanted to see your doll face twisting in pleasure so desperately. to have you take in his cock and use him to fuck yourself so sweetly like that. only one door was stopping him. the door with the pink mother-of-pearl crucifix.

as though hypnotised, he quietly entered the room.

but when the door closed behind him with a click, you whirled around, eyes wide and breath catching in your throat. he froze in panic, too, as he saw how frightened you seemed. what the fuck were you expecting, you disgusting perv? came in the voice in his head.

your instinct was to retreat like a scared spider, flitting towards the head of your bed. fluffy white pillows framed your trembling body, with only a glimpse of your leg peeking out. your cheeks flushed with embarrassment, almost to an unhealthy degree, as you tried to cover yourself.

beomgyu took a cautious step forward, his obsession with you feeling safe in his presence outweighing how turned on he was. "please," he whispered, desperation in his voice. "don't be embarrassed." he said. or be. you're so adorable, all flustered like this.

"i… i'm sorry," you stuttered, your words hesitant.

beomgyu raised his eyebrow, an endeared chuckle escaping his lips. "you're sorry?"

"i shouldn't have… i…" you struggled, avoiding his gaze and pressing your hands to your head in frustration. anxiously, you began to hit your head with the heels of your hands. "i'm so pathetic."

without hesitation, beomgyu rushed closer, wrapping his hands around your wrists in the world’s softest handcuffs. "not at all," he murmured softly, his voice soothing as he attempted to coax your frightened gaze to meet his own.

quietly, almost reverently, he knelt at the edge of the bed, perching himself over the mattress like a praying supplicant.

he was so fucking hard, his blood boiling inside his pulsating veins. scorchingly, painfully. his hands trembled a bit on your wrists as he struggled to contain himself, like the scorpion resisting the urge to sting the frog and drown them both.

“i loved seeing you like that.” he managed out, eyes fixated on yours. “i’m the pathetic one, i sneaked in here like some creep. i... i'm so sorry about what i said earlier today. i was mad at soobin, trying to get under his skin. but i'm kinder than that. i can be, for you. you shouldn’t be scared of me. please.” 

"i’m not." you said.

"good," he said. "i want you to trust me."

"i think... i think i do."

beomgyu took one of your hands, already entwined with his, and raised it to his lips, planting a delicate kiss on the back. you didn't pull away, though a slight flinch ran through you. his voice, soft and concerned, cut through the quiet, "is this alright?"

you met his gaze, his eyes looking up at you dilated and pleading like a puppy's. you nodded silently, allowing him to continue.

he pressed his lips against your skin a few more times, the wet sounds his mouth made filling the room. with a heavy breath, you took in every detail of his gentle kisses—the way his plump lips pressed and nibbled at your skin, how slow, almost ritualistically.

"what were you thinking about?" he asked, his voice a muffled purr against your skin.

"w-what?" you stammered, trying to buy time as your mind raced to come up with a lie less embarrassing than the truth.

"you were so pretty like that just now, all spread out like a good girl...” he murmured softly, "tell me what got you like that."

you stalled. with an achingly slow movement, you mirrored his action. you brought his hand to your mouth, and brushed your lips over it. barely touched, almost imperceptibly.

a shiver down his spine. a sting to his heart. he watched you in awed stillness, his watering mouth half-open. then you whispered, "you."

"fuck, i– i want to do so many things to you. if you'll let me." he said. a blush crept across your cheeks as you instinctively tried to shy away, but his fingers beneath your chin guided you back to meet his gaze. "what did i do to get you like that? was it because of what you heard me say?" he asked.

"because of everything." you replied.

he moved up from the floor with deliberate slowness, each motion purposeful as if he were approaching a skittish forest creature, determined not to scare it away. cautious, he inched closer, finally settling beside you on the bed. "tell me." he said. "i wanna hear."

"you're smarter than daddy," you began to say, your voice mumbled, as you gazed at him, his features so close you could count the flecks of gold in his eyes. "daddy thinks he's god's chosen one, but you keep outplaying him. so what does that make you?"

"a hellhound," he replied with a cynical smile, drawing even nearer.

"no," you said softly, shaking your head in disagreement. "you're good. and you're sweet to me." with tender care, you brushed his bangs, your fingertips delicately tracing the contours of his face like a child exploring a new toy. you lingered over his brows, his long lashes, the graceful curve of his cupid's bow, and the strong line of his jaw. "and you're… really pretty."

an impulse like a mighty wave of devotion pushed beomgyu to cup your face, his thumb tracing delicate lines over your skin as he asked, voice barely more than a whisper, "have you ever been kissed?"

"yes." you nodded. though there was a flicker of fear in your eye, like he would've been disappointed at that lack of purity. but if he did, he said nothing.

"show me how you do it." he urged, his words a gentle plea as he drew closer, his breath mingling with yours.

you leaned in painfully still, the weight of his gaze bearing down on you. but just before your lips met, you paused. hesitated. this changed everything. but beomgyu met your gaze unwaveringly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of regret or doubt. then, with a soft smile, he encouraged you forward.

you brushed your lips against his, ever so slightly. it was a trembling little touch. chaste. when you pulled away, beomgyu's eyes remained fixed on you, half closed and drunk in longing.

he gently pivoted the hand that had cupped your face, trailing its back along the curve of your cheekbone to finally rest it at the nape of your neck. "so pretty," he whispered. "why are you so scared?"

"i don't want to disappoint you," you mumbled softly.

beomgyu's response was immediate, a fervent shake of his head. "never," he insisted, his voice a husky plea, "you're doing so well. please, kiss me again."

with trembling fingers, you reached up to his neck, your heartbeat a wild rhythm in your chest. you nestled his upper lip within yours. a little more intensely this time, but still experimental, like you were gingerly trying to color within the lines.

beomgyu was gone. you were so soft and plush and just so scared to do anything wrong. he lingered, his thumb tracing the outline of your lips. "they're mine now," he said in a low growl.

he took over, giving you a deep wet kiss. unrestrained, heavy like a lion’s roar. as you moved your lips together, beomgyu demanded more and more, leaving you breathless. one of his hands rested on your thigh, tentatively stroking, fondling over the skin, as if to soothe you, to tell you everything was alright.

he tilted his head, seeking depth in your mouth. one of your hands traced up the length of his chest and reached his neck, which you squeezed tightly as you felt his mouth opening yours to let his tongue in. you tensed. he noticed. “do you like that?” he asked, breath heavy.

“i... yes."

and so he did it again. another painfully lusty kiss that left your lips soaked and swollen. you escaped a moan that he loved so desperately, making him bite on your lower lip, drawing another embarrassingly whiny whimper out of you. after a softer peck, he outlined the bitten skin with his tongue.

he devoured your lips again, eating out your mouth. he slipped his tongue back into your mouth to circle yours, playing with it; then he pulled back, as if urging you to follow him. he wanted you to try yourself.

his hand on your thigh moved to embrace your waist, fingers poking into your skin. you felt firm, secure. in the middle of the unbridled kiss, your tongue ended up in his mouth. so soft. my good little girl. he let out a grunt of satisfaction. happy with his reaction, your instinct got you to hold on to him tighter, trying to find a closeness that was impossible in that position.

he got frustrated at it, too, his groans turning into hummed pleading moans against your lips. for a painful second, he pulled away to say, "let me watch you fuck yourself, just like you were when i came in. please." he said. "would you be comfortable with that?" he asked. 

you nodded slightly, though you weren't even sure you were telling the truth. they were irreconcilable, avoiding embarrassment and giving in to the aching sensation in your pussy the moment he spoke those words.

he stretched his arm out toward the pillow, gently offering it to you, observing as you knelt on the bed and retook the position he had found you in. he helped you through it, caring for you with caresses and soft kisses, but he went back to seat at the edge of the mattress, gnawing lightly on his lip with anticipation. you didn't want that, you realised. you wanted him close.

you reached out your hand for him to grasp, "what is it, baby?" he asked, tending to you with gravity.

you guided him towards you, maneuvering him to recline half-seated against the bedhead. he caught on to your intentions and leaned in to give you a gentle peck before allowing his hands to settle on your hips, helping you in adjusting the pillow beneath you.

now on all fours, with him facing you, he noticed you wanted to say something, the words lingering on your lips. "is everything alright?" he asked, his hand tenderly caressing your arm.

you stammered a bit before shyly asking, “can you keep on kissing me?”

he smiled fondly. he would never in a million years be able say no to you. “of course, my angel.”

he drew nearer, his proximity warming you up. having him there like that, you didn't need to support yourself on your arms- instead, you found yourself instinctively clinging to his neck. with a mellow kiss and his hands firmly securing their hold on your hips, he led the start of the back and forward motion.

the first reactions the rubbing of your clit against the fabric drew out were subdued, mere soft moans and gentle breaths mingling with his the plush of beomgyu’s lips. but with his grasp pressing you down, those initial movements evolved into more intense and profound ones.

he let one of his hands abandon your hips to entwine his fingers in the strands of your hair. the louder your moans got, the tighter his grip on it. he was so hard, with no escape for it. but he liked the pain, the desperation. "you sound so beautiful, fuck–" he breathed out. "but i'm gonna feel so much better than that."

the promise echoed in your mind, getting you to let out a crying plead, "p-please, beomgyu..." you moaned out, as you fumbled with your hand to find his.

"you want me to help you out?" he asked, almost like it was a privilege.

"mhm," you whimpered with a sheepish, frantic nods.

"cute." he breathed out. his face was flushed and burning hot, his cock ached uncomfortably, but he spartanly focused on his little angel’s pleasure above anything else.

he wrapped his arms around your waist and took you to his lap, where he held you tight. "are you comfortable like this?" he asked, placing a a soft peck to your forehead.

"yes." you answered, embarrassingly. you were wet to the point of dampening your inners thighs, and you were mortified to have him see, to even stain him. but he'd notice soon enough.

he grunted as he kept on kissing down your face. your temples, the tip of your nose, the corner of your mouth, your ridiculously tasty lips. he held on to your waist for dear life with one of his arms, but allowed the other to travel down, slowly and deviantly towards your virgin pussy.

"you're soaked, my baby." he breathed out. you would've felt self-conscious at the exposure, but you saw in his eyes how bad he liked it. how starved and aroused he seemed when he began to caress your wet cunt with his slender fingers.

his cold touch startled you at first, making you hold on to his neck tighter. you were too sore, too sensitive. "don't be scared. i'm gonna take such good care of you," he said. "i promise."

tentatively, he stroked over the surrounding area of your aching centre, index and middle finger touching softly over your wetness. he performed circling motions in your clit, taking his time. getting to hear you. “b-beomgyu, you—god—you feel really good…”

he learned that when you liked something he did, you'd shower him in desperate soft pecks, like a puppy licks your hand after you pat its head. he wanted to see you react further, he wanted to try it all. he spread your pussy with both fingers and pressed forcefully against your throbbing clit with a third one. startled, you clutched his hair so firmly you feared you might have hurt him.

as by instinct, your thighs twitched from the overstimulation and seemed to want to close around his hand, but he didn't let them. he shushed into your lips with a soft "shhh," soothing as the seashore before leaning in for a honeyed kiss. he traced patterns against your cheek with his nose after pulling away. "its alright. you're doing so fucking well."

he let you catch your breath, but not for too long. he quickened his pace, your moans getting too loud, wept out and filthy enough to horrify all the saints in the house of god. it became a duel of you trying to suppress yourself and keep it quiet, and beomgyu trying to get everyone in the house to know how good he was for you.

to restrain the growing sound of your moaning, you buried your face into beomgyu’s neck, trying to muffle your voice against his body. but he huffed into your ear, "don't hold back. only you and me matter, no one else."

"i think i–" you whimpered into his ear, choking on your own puffs. the pleasure crept up on you, becoming too strong to bear and making your whole body shudder against his. "beomgyu, please..." you cried out.

he saw how close you were, and quickly thought if he should or should not stop it. tease you, edge you, have you go on all night. he could do so many things, he ached so much to do them all. but as he saw your pretty face so desperate to cum, how needy and palpitating, you were, he decided he had all the time in the world.

his movements quickened, each motion filled with urgency and strength. his veiny, strained forearm bore the weight of the world as he got you to your peak.

you came with a stifled cry but you muted your voice against his neck again. he wished he could've heard it in its full, piercing clarity, but he understood. you were so sheepish, his perfect little girl.

he didn't pull his hand away immediately, instead letting you feel his warmth for a little longer as you trembled against his chest. "my baby, you did so well," he whispered into your ear, his voice a soothing balm as he gently cradled your body.

now that the tension had drained from your limbs, you found yourself collapsing against him, your body limpy and worn out. it was then that you noticed the bulge in his pants. "beomgyu…" you murmured, your voice heavy. "teach me how to help you out."

"forget about me," he replied with a gentle smile. "i just wanted to get you to trust me tonight. to show you how good i can make you feel." 

you gazed at him, cherishing his handsome features. his cheeks were flushed, too, and his eyes so gentle. you couldn't help but cup his face in your hands, drawn to him. but as you leaned in to kiss him, he stopped you faintly, saying, "wait. don't kiss me. i want you to have something to look forward to, so you'll be excited to see me again tomorrow."

"you'll come back tomorrow?" you asked, your eyes lighting up with hope.

“i couldn’t stay away even if i wanted to,” he replied. but as he said it, he noticed a flicker of guilt crossing your face. gently, he brushed a strand of hair away from your reddened cheek. "how are you feeling?" he asked softly.

your gaze darkened slightly. "like i shouldn't have done it," you admitted. "like daddy saw everything."

"i'm… sorry," beomgyu said, his voice full of consternation.

"no, it's not your fault. those thoughts aren't real. i can make the guilt go away, in time," you reassured him. "but i like it when you hold me. that's real. i… like you. a lot, i think."

beomgyu didn't even know what to say. he struggled to understand how this could be wrong to any human religion or faith since the dawn of time, because to him this felt like heaven. he held you in his arms, all flushed and a little tired, your lips swollen like ripe cherries from the kisses he had given you. this was fucking nirvana for all he cared.

he deeply regretted his no-kissing rule, and he sought to end it immediately. he leaned in, but you stopped him.

"no," you chuckled, "don't kiss me. i want you to have something to look forward to so that you're excited to come back tomorrow."

he smiled back at you, like an absolute fool. maybe he was in love, even if it only had been a day, whatever. but how could he not be when he had the cutest being in existence all to himself? "give me a gift before i go, then," he said. "something i can carry with me.

"what do you want?" you asked.

"this," he said, pointing at your rosary beads. with a gesture that felt almost ceremonial, you took off the pendant and placed it around his neck. as you did, he couldn’t help but stare at your lips. "can’t i kiss you just a little?" he pouted.

you shook your head with a soft giggle. "your rules," you reminded him. "be stronger."

“fine. have it your way.”

he smiled, but it quickly vanished as you remembered him; “you should go. or soobin will know.”

he nodded, eyes filled with disappointment. the moment you lifted yourself off his lap, detached yourself off of him, an intense wave of pain surged through both of you. like a limb had been atrociously ripped off your body.

but just as he was about to leave, you grabbed his wrist, halting him. “beomgyu, wait,” you called out, rising to your knees to meet his gaze.

you pressed a gentle, lingering kiss on his cheek, just as you had done the night before. the softness of your touch sent a shiver down his spine. as you pulled back, beomgyu instinctively leaned forward, craving more. but you placed your index finger against his lips, stopping him. “you’re so weak,” you teased with a playful glint in your eyes.

he smiled ruefully. “i am,” he admitted with a sigh, the weight of reality settling back in. he really had to leave. “good night,” he murmured.

stepping out into the dark, the world felt colder, and his eyes struggled to adjust to the dimness. he lingered for a moment, leaning his back against the door, not wanting to leave just yet, but his head bumped against something.

of course.

he turned around to regard the crucifix, holding the one you had given him in his hands. same color, same material. a bittersweet smile played on his lips. “she was so good,” he told jesus christ. “and i think i made her happier, just a little. i feel a little happier too. i told you, it was much purer than you think.”

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ next part

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ so. i really struggled through this one. lemme know what you think.

[teddiesworldd]

could you do a pt2 of the zombie outbreak with ghost, maybe the zombie outbreak ends and they get used to being a normal couple? idk

after the world ends (p2)

this is part two of my ghost apocalypse au, you can read part one here!

a/n: thank you so much for all the love on part 1 and for this request which inspired part 2! i hope it's what you imagined <3 (1k words)

pairing: simon ghost riley x reader

tags/warnings: apocalypse au, fluffy, some descriptions similar to ptsd, starting a family, the ending they deserved ;')

day 154 of the apocalypse, 5 months after the first outbreak, 2 months after the second.

time creeped on slowly as the days melted into weeks, and then months. you’d become quite accustomed to life behind the fence, picking up various skills to make yourself useful in camp. the others had taught you everything you needed to know. you could now fish, hunt, cook - survival was something that came so naturally now, it was like your life before never happened. like it had always been this way. on your trips out of camp with soap, you had noticed shoots of grass and leaves sprouted up through the concrete over time and covered your city in an overwhelming green haze. 

other than the odd trip outside the safety of the fence, your days were calm and laid back. you often spent them laying out by the river with simon, watching the water flow past in the warm spring air. more recently though, you’d looked after the german shepherd you had found with soap in the city, which you had lovingly named riley after your love. there was always plenty to do - things needed fixing up, whether that be the equipment or each other. 

in the evenings, you no longer watched soap and ghost talking from your tent - you sat alongside them at the campfire, simon’s large hand holding yours. you shared stories of your lives before the outbreak, dreaming of what you’d do when the world turned the right way around again - if that would ever happen. and when your conversations died down, simon led you to his bed and you spent the night with your head on his chest, listening to his faint heartbeat to drown out the sounds of the infected who got too close to the fence.

it wasn’t all smooth sailing; some of the others in camp had fallen sick and the nearest pharmacy was completely stripped by other groups, leaving nothing to treat your own wounded campmates. illness spread like wildfire here and all you could do was nurse their wounds and cook hot meals to lift their spirits and provide warmth. a few lost their lives to disease or to the zombies, but most fought on, struggling through the days.

you’ll never forget the moment when you heard about the cure. 

head resting on simon’s shoulder, swaying gently to the faint crackle of the radio. his hands gently gripping to your waist, holding you close like he never wanted to let you go. it was a routine that you both had for a few weeks now, after your first night together in the tent. rocking gently to the music as the sun glowed shades of pink and orange in the late evening. "my girl, i'll marry you when this is over." he'd tell you every time you held each other like this. simon had never felt so enamoured with someone in his whole life. he couldn't wait for the day you shared his last name. it was what kept him going through all this - the thought of living a normal life with you on the other side. soap sat nearby, cleaning up whatever he’d found during the day, cheesing over the action figures he found in the house he raided, watching as you and simon fell utterly in love with each other.

the music cut off and the announcer said that a cure had been developed to treat the infected. and suddenly you remembered everything that you had left behind 5 months ago.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

four years later, you sat out on the porch of your home with a cold drink, watching simon play with your daughter in the backyard. he proposed to you as soon as you heard the radio broadcast and you married shortly after normality returned, falling pregnant and buying a house together. it never really got any easier - cuts turned into scars and memories of your days in camp turned sour, plaguing your dreams. often you’d wake up in a cold sweat, fear running through you like you were still there. but simon never failed to bring you back to earth again, stroking your hair and shushing you to sleep again. soap visited often, riley always jumping up at him madly as he stumbled through the front door. your daughter had grown accustomed to calling him “uncle johnny”, which he loved and it made him well up the first time he heard her say it.

nothing would really be the same again - you had lost most of your friends and family, and the world never quite got back to the way it was before.

but in a way, that was okay. because so much good came from it. 

“mommy, look!” you daughter giggled madly from the bottom of the garden. you snapped out of your thoughts, eyes landing on your 4-year-old daughter who was halfway up the tree at the bottom of the lawn.

“i- i did try to tell ‘er not to,” simon sighed, walking up to you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders, “but you know what she’s like... little adventurer.”

you couldn’t help but laugh. it definitely wasn’t the first time she’d gone up there - she climbed up it like she’d done it a thousand times before.

“reminds me of someone i know.” simon said, looking down at you in your chair, nothing but love in his eyes. he kissed you sweetly, reminding you of the first time your lips touched that night in your tent. 

“i’ll start making dinner, yeah?” he finished, hand gently squeezing your arm before heading into the kitchen. you really did get so lucky the day you crossed paths in the woodland.

“can someone help me down?!” your daughter shouted, riley barking up at her playfully as she clinged tightly to the branches.

“yeah, honey, i’m coming” you replied, placing down your drink and heading down the garden.

˚✧. thank you for reading!

˚✧.please reblog to support me <3

˚✧. dividers by @ saradika-graphics and @ si-eunnis

✎ masterlist

💌 send a request

[joostsblog]

I really love all your Joost fics, and thank you so much for the Aggu crumbs 💕

Do you take Aggu requests too? There’s this one Aggu tiktok (the grape video) and I was wondering if you could do an Aggu x Reader where reader is the one feeding the grapes jokingly at first, but then it turns into something intimate

Yes, I saw the grape video and I think I get appeal 😌 This is a shorter one but I hope you enjoy it anyway & I hope it's fine with you that I also snuck a bit of Joost x reader in there 🤭

caught in the middle part one: picnic day ~ a Ski Aggu / Joost Klein x reader series

My masterlist here ✨💌 caught in the middle series masterlist

Pairing: Ski Aggu x reader (also a sneaky Joost Klein x reader, sry i had to)

Description: A cheeky joke between two friends turns into something different.

Word Count: 0.9k

A/N: THIS IS A SERIES NOW! Read part two here!

I usually don't write for Aggu but loved this idea so here you go💌 requests still open although I can't promise too many as I'll be on vacation the next two weeks ☀️ if you liked it, you can show your support by leaving a reblog 🫶

Warnings: mention of weed, not proofread

"Aggu!" you said with a big smile as you saw the blonde man walk up to you.

"(Y/N), what's up?" Aggu asked while engulfing you in a hug.

"Nothing much, you're the first person to be here," you shrugged and motioned to the picnic blanket you had already spread out on the grass.

"I expected nothing else," Aggu laughed and sat down on the blanket.

The both of you had a reputation within your friend group for always being punctual while everyone would be late. You were glad that at least you weren't the only person and secretly you liked it because it meant that every time you would hang out in a group you would get Aggu an extra 15 to 30 minutes just to yourself. So you couldn't complain, really. It was a warm late spring day, summer just around the corner. The park was lively but not too packed. Aggu was wearing a tight football jersey which hugged his figure and especially his upper arms very nicely.

It had only been recently when you looked at Aggu with different eyes. It happened when you were out partying a few weeks ago and the music was so loud, the club was so packed that you stood so close to Aggu that he had to lean down to you and closely whisper into your ear to tell you something. When the hairs on your arms shot straight up and suddenly you got all shy around him. Prior to this moment, you didn't know that Aggu could have this effect on you (maybe because before that Joost was all you could think about but right now your mind was preoccupied with the German rapper). Since you caught your little crush on Aggu that only grew by the minute you really appreciated how much of a flirty personality he had. Any joke or touch you shared would never be taken in the wrong way by him, that you were sure of.

"I got us some beer and cookies," Aggu announced as he unpacked the goods from his bag. "Also this," he held up a packet of weed. He laid down on his side only propped up by his elbow.

"Nice," you grinned. "I brought some hummus and veggie sticks and some grapes," you pointed to the food already on the blanket.

"I would love some grapes right now," Aggu pointed to the packet of grapes in front of you.

"Be my guest," you said.

"But I'm so comfortable right now," Aggu pouted. "Will you feed them to me? Please?" he said with a cheeky smile. You rolled your eyes.

"Whatever," you said and opened the package. You didn't make the effort to actually pluck the grapes from the vine. He'll have to do that himself, you thought. Instead, you just scooted a bit closer to Aggu so you could comfortably reach him. You dangled the vine of grapes above his head so that he could reach the grapes with his mouth.

Aggu shot you a quick shot and a grin before he opened his mouth and took some of the grapes into his mouth. You realised the position you put him in really didn't help you to cure the crush anytime soon. You watched Aggu's face intently. How sharp and godlike his jawline looked from the side. How lush his lips looked as they wrapped around the grapes. How he closed his eyes as if he was leaning into a kiss. How the stubble on his face might feel against your fingers or maybe even between your thighs. You tried to ban those thoughts to the back of your head immediately.

"You also want one?" Aggu asked after he swallowed.

"Sure," you said and before you could pick a grape yourself Aggu went in again and plucked a single grape from the vine using his mouth.

He nodded and angled his head upwards to you, the grape positioned between his front teeth. There really was no way you could misread the invitation Aggu was sending you right now. You bit your lip and put your hand on Aggu's shoulder before you leaned down, your heart almost beating out of your chest. Your lips softly touched Aggu's as you took the grape and sucked it into your mouth. Instead of pulling back you suddenly felt Aggu's hand on your cheek, holding you just in place. Now your lips were properly pressed on Aggu's. The kiss was soft and sweet and yet you could feel arousal building up inside your lower stomach, wishing you could be in private and alone with Aggu right now.

"Are we interrupting something?" you heard your friend Bianca's amused voice behind you.

You let go of Aggu and looked up at her, embarrassment overcoming you. Behind Bianca was Joost who you noticed didn't look so amused like Bianca, his facial expression blank. You let go of Aggu's shoulder as you shifted your position beside him.

"What's up?" you asked the two of them nonchalantly and Bianca started ranting about the Tinder date she had been on just last night.

You could feel Aggu shifting closer to you again as he leaned over to whisper in your ear. Just for a second, your gaze crossed Joost's stare across from you but before you could even react he quickly looked away.

"If you're free tonight we can continue this," Aggu's voice seductively danced over your ear and you smiled.

"I'd like that very much."  

~

READ PART TWO HERE // series masterlist

[moriitis]

What would it be like dating Toby Rogers?

Slightly NSFW? TWs; gore, blood, manic episodes, kidnapping. Just little HCs.

Pretty much the biggest goofball there is but he can be really annoying, anything to get you pissed, doesn't really understand the concept of overstepping a joke or taking things too far. I feel like warnings kinda go over Toby's head, so if you told him to stop, he would continuously do it because the first time it made you laugh so naturally every time he did it, you'd laugh, right? He'd do things like jabbing you in the sides when he walks past, jamming his fingers up your butt to piss you off (smacking your ass when you bend over), chasing you up the stairs, he'd mock you when you whined and do that thing to mimic your facial expressions in an irritating way but also in a way to make you laugh.

Loves driving you around, especially late at night. More prone to opening up about his feelings when driving because then his attention is diverted to the road and he's forced to avoid your gaze. You'll always know he needs to vent when he asks if you wanna go ride around, listen to music or something, he'd mention it with his hands in his pocket, pretty embarrassed to ask. Also just likes to ride around and find somewhere remote to park so he can fuck you in the backseat of his car.

Probably the worst person ever to try to call or text. He'll never answer so good luck really trying to get a hold of him.

He's a romantic and he's pretty corny. On the rare occasion he does decide to text you, it'll be a song that reminded him of you. Although don't be surprised if he literally hands you a tape with burned music on it. Wild flowers that he decided to pick because the colour of the petal reminded him of your eyes? Coming home late at night with your favourite snacks. He's a good boy and despite the occasional memory loss, he remembers these things about you, he also keeps reminders on a little piece of paper tucked away in his wallet.

He's a physical person but really only in private. Cuddling on the couch? For sure! Want to share a kiss in public? Probably not. It's nothing toward you, he just feels weird expressing bouts of love in public with people watching. Was it the lack of love in his childhood? Probably.

Will roll your cigarettes/blunts for you. He's a natural.

Very competitive gamer, try playing some Mario Kart against him and this guy is quivering at the thought of beating you. You got him with a blue shell once at the finish line, thus taking his first place last minute and he had to step outside to have a cigarette because the loss hit him that hard.

Despite his lack of physical affection in public, he is possessive. Hates the idea of other people looking at you and gets very jealous. Also will stand incredibly close to you, close enough you could feel his breath against the back of your neck. He'll scowl around too and make sure to put himself between you and another guy.

Speaks German when he's angry, like when he rages at Mario Kart (he HATES Yoshi primarily) you'll hear him talking smack to the TV in German.

Also speaks German to you when you're beneath him, muttering small praises in his mother tongue as he pants and groans softly against the skin of your neck. Sometimes he'll mix, start speaking English but end the sentence in German.

His driving is reckless but he'd never put you in any danger, not after what happened with Lyra.

He hates being around you when he has a manic episode, his voice cracking as he yells at you to stand back, that he's dangerous, that he could hurt you, kill you. With each step you take toward him, he takes one back, violently shaking his head. His tics and twitches are worse as he runs his hands through his hair, they bawl, tugging at his locks as if he was daring to rip them out but the pain is non existent to him. He'd storm out, distancing himself from you. It could take weeks, the longest it took was a month before he came back, scruffy, tired, longing.

Talks about how he wants to travel, to go somewhere with you, that he'll kidnap you and take you away forever and that you'll only be his and his alone.

Does get a little thrill of scaring you. Making it look like your home alone but as you walk past the bathroom door, he'll jump out, one hand over your mouth, the other wrapping around your waist as he picks you up helplessly and drags you back. You'll kick and scream until his raspy laughter breaks out behind you. He did it a couple times until you had a panic attack once and he never did it again.

Likes to remind you to take your medication, dude specifically has a calendar to keep track of times and dates, when you should take this and that. Especially birth control.

Will touch your thigh as you sit in the car together sometimes his fingers pushing up further in a little attempt to get lucky, a smug smirk on his face.

Compliments in German too, of course.

Will suddenly hit the breaks in the car to send you flying and then lecture you to always wear a seatbelt. Always wear your seatbelts when sat in car with him.

sorry these suck lololol, idk might seem off character for toby but it's just how i see it play out. i'll make another post for just general HCs for Toby bc i have so many. anywayyy taking requests to shoot if you have any ideas :)

[posh--bee]

Ein Kompliment || König

pairing → König x Reader

summary → König comes home from deployment to find you singing and dancing to a German song in your kitchen—completely surprised by how well you speak his language.

warnings → none, just tooth-rotting fluff, no descriptions or pronouns used for reader, no y/n used

author’s note → This is just a self-indulgent domestic little oneshot because I felt nostalgic for some German music from when I was younger :) The title means “a compliment” and it’s also the name of the song. You can listen to it here. Also, I have literally no clue about CoD and never played one of the games for even a second, but this man still managed to steal my heart.

word count → 2.1k

König could hear the music blaring even through the closed front door of your home, the muffled sound of electric guitars, drums, and the singer’s voice greeting him when he put the spare key you had trusted him with early on in your relationship in the lock and turned it. 

The door opened and the music became even louder, clearly originating from the little radio you had in your kitchen, and a smile formed on König’s face when your cheerful voice joined the singer. From the sound of it, König guessed that you were in the kitchen as well and he carefully placed his bag next to your shoe rack, not wanting to give his presence away just yet. He had intentionally told you he wouldn’t come back home to you for another week just so he could surprise you. The lie had left a foul aftertaste when he had told you and the disappointment in your voice had nearly broken his heart, but in the end it would be worth it, he had told himself, seeing your face light up in delight when you spotted him and jumping into his arms, clinging to him and covering his whole face in the sweetest kisses, the sound of your joined laughter filling your home. 

König couldn’t wait to finally see you again, the weeks and months without you by his side were nothing short but torture for him, but he forced himself to take slow and silent steps towards your kitchen, not wanting to ruin the surprise so close before its grand reveal. Despite his size and mass his heavy combat boots made almost no sound against the wooden floor of your hallway, and he was confident that with the help of your music playing you wouldn’t notice him until he stood directly behind you and wrapped his strong arms around your smaller frame, probably giving you the fright of your life before you recognized your gentle giant, scolding him with giggles and kisses for scaring you like this.

König couldn’t shake the smile that pulled on his lips at the thought of it, but a sudden realization made him stop dead in his tracks, just outside of the open door of your kitchen. He couldn’t believe that he hadn’t noticed it sooner but the song that had been playing since he had arrived wasn’t in English—it was in German. 

And you were singing to it.

König’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion and he stayed still while listening to the sounds coming from your kitchen, wanting to make sure that all the blows to the head he had received during missions didn’t manifest as him suddenly hearing something that wasn’t actually real.

After a few more moments of concentrated listening, he came to the conclusion that he didn’t suffer from an auditory hallucination and that you were indeed singing along to a German song even though you had claimed to not speak his language. Your pronunciation was a little bit off, that much was true, but you more than made up for it with your enthusiasm while singing along to the lyrics and König wondered with a frown why you had never told him how well you spoke German. Needing to investigate this surprising discovery further, he peered into the kitchen, dimly remembering having heard the song playing on the radio from time to time over the years, the first time probably even before he had joined the German Armed Forces. 

The sight König was met with left him breathless in the best way possible, a warm feeling spreading in his chest while he watched you dance to the music in the middle of your kitchen, singing into a clean whisk with your back towards him, completely oblivious to his presence. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from you, couldn’t move a muscle or find his voice to let you know he was home, just watching you with pure adoration in his eyes, his heart almost bursting with all the emotions he was feeling at this moment. 

You were still dressed in your pajamas, your feet sliding along the tiled floor with your movements because of the fuzzy socks you were wearing, stumbling over some longer words in the lyrics of the song but continuing to sing all the same. The bright and clear morning light shining through the kitchen windows illuminated the room almost magically and created a halo around your head, and König swore if he had a ring with him right now, he wouldn’t have wasted any more time and go down one knee, asking you to spend the rest of your life with him—even though he hadn’t had the guts yet to tell you that he loved you.

Just when the second verse of the song came to an end you suddenly spun around and spotted him, freezing for a few seconds to process that your boyfriend was home already and standing in your kitchen before your eyes lit up and the smile on your face became blinding. König opened his mouth in an attempt to greet you, to tell you how happy he was to be back and how much he had missed you, but his voice was still lost, not being prepared to be caught by you, his grand reveal now ruined. 

You however weren’t deterred by this surprising turn of events at all, you were nothing short of ecstatic to see him again and König couldn’t help the big smile on his lips, readying himself to catch you when you jumped into his arms like you always did. But it seemed you had other plans and instead of your usual greeting you lifted the whisk back to your mouth with a twinkle in your beautiful eyes, pointing at him with your other hand. König lifted an eyebrow in confusion, wanting to ask what you were doing but you preempted him, joining the song still playing on the radio again, singing the refrain to him, your eyes never leaving his.

Ich wollte dir nur mal eben sagen

I just wanted to tell you

Dass du das Größte für mich bist

That you are the greatest thing to me

Und sichergeh’n, ob du denn dasselbe für mich fühlst

And to make sure you feel the same way about me

Für mich fühlst

About me

Your little performance left him speechless for the second time that day, still dumbfounded by how well you spoke German, not to mention that the meaning of the words you were singing to him pulled at his heartstrings. You were always vocal about your feelings for him, never hesitating to tell him just how much he meant to you, but hearing you sing something like this to him in his own language made him absolutely weak in the knees. 

And of course this was when you decided to run to your boyfriend and jump into his arms after all, completely catching him off guard and for a moment he struggled to hold you up which was something that had never happened before. But once you had your arms securely wrapped around his neck and your legs around his waist, he held you with ease and was promptly rewarded for it with a beaming smile and a kiss on his cheek.

“I missed you so much,” you sighed and pressed your forehead to his, overcome by a wave of emotions at his early return home. The weeks and months without him were always lonely, your bed feeling cold and empty without your personal heater holding you close at night and refusing to let you go, your whole house not feeling complete without your boyfriend lounging on your couch or sitting at the table and doodling in his sketchbook, quietly humming to himself. 

“I missed you too,” he murmured against your lips before kissing you deeply, blindly walking you both towards the kitchen counter and gently setting you down on it, only breaking the kiss when you ran out of breath. You smiled up at him and put the whisk down beside you in favor of cupping König’s face with both hands, your thumbs caressing his skin, running along the prominent scar on his lips and the slight stubble along his jaw.

His eyes fell closed as he leaned into your touch, his body relaxing against yours but still cautious not to put too much of his weight on you, feeling truly at home now that you were in his arms again. But there was still a question on his mind that he couldn’t shake off, so he quickly reached for the radio that was playing a new song by now and turned it down before asking, “When did you learn to speak German so well?”

The smile on your lips became bashful and it was one of the few times in your relationship that you had to avert your gaze from him, usually König was the one struggling with maintaining eye contact even after being with you for some time already.

“I started learning it when we got together. I used some apps and stuff and started to listen to German songs as well, that really helped. I wanted to surprise you one day when I’d more confident with speaking it,” you admitted in a small but proud voice, delighted that he thought you were good at his language already despite being caught before you considered yourself the same way.

König stared down at you while his mind struggled to process your words, wondering if you had made it your personal mission to render him speechless as often as possible today because so far you had been doing a fantastic job at that. He hid his face in the crook of your neck when you looked up at him again, too overwhelmed to from any kind of verbal response to your explanation, his heart beating violently against his ribcage. He hadn’t thought it was possible to fall even deeper in love with you but here you were, proving him wrong again and again, now by secretly learning German just for him.

With a sympathetic chuckle you allowed him the time he needed to collect himself, wordlessly rubbing up and down his back with one hand while gently running your fingers through his hair with the other one, making him hum in appreciation.

You smiled up at your gentle giant when he untangled himself from you again and took one of your hands in his much larger ones, calloused fingers nervously playing with yours, a blush creeping up his neck to his cheeks and all the way to the tips of his ears. You quirked your eyebrow at him, wanting to ask him if he was okay when he locked eyes with you, a resolute look on his face that made you understand just how important his next words would be to him.

You sat up straighter, your heart beating faster and a pleasant and warm feeling settling in your stomach at being in the center of his undivided attention, at having him look at you like you were the most important thing in the whole universe. 

And to him you were just that which is why he couldn’t let any more time pass without him telling you just how much you meant to him, making sure you knew that he felt the same way about you. 

König’s voice faltered slightly when he began to speak but he was determined to finally express the true depths of his feelings for you, his fingers tightening around yours, the feeling of your warm skin against his grounding and calming him, encouraging him to carry on.

“You are, without a doubt, the greatest thing that has ever happened to me and you make me the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. A-and what I’m trying to say with that is that I love you. I love you so much.”

Hearing his words and the sincerity in them made your heart skip several beats and you felt tears of pure joy welling up in your eyes, unable to say anything in response. König constantly showed his love for you in other ways and you had never doubted his feelings for you even once since the beginning of your relationship, but hearing him say it out loud touched you deeply, making you the happiest you had ever been in your life.

You gave him a teary smile and before König could even think about apologizing for making you cry you pressed your lips to his, pouring all of your emotions into the kiss, making him gasp quietly at the intensity of it. You chuckled affectionately at the displeased look on his face when you pulled back all too soon, but you just shook your head, lovingly gazing up at him before softly saying,

“Ich liebe dich auch.”

You loved him too.

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

I saw you hc L as autistic so maybe him with an autistic reader who's not the quiet type? (flappy hands, vocal stims, loud music instead of noise cancelling headphones; idk how to explain it)

-🦇

Summary: Headcanons for L Lawliet x reader. Both are autistic, but polar opposites in how they do things/handle their autism.

Credits: L Lawliet- Death Note, Divider- Benkeibear, Cover picture- Pinterest

A/n: Grrr I love getting to write for L! He's such a goober and I love getting to elaborate on my general headcanons for characters <3 ALSO 🦇 anon left a little bit ago, but I am still fulfilling this request they left for me so if you want the anon name, feel free to take it

Thank you so much for requesting!

Autistic!L Lawliet x Autistic!Reader who are polar opposites

L has always been rather quiet, even as a child

He didn't start talking until about 6, and even then he only began talking because it communicated his needs more efficiently

He prefers quiet spaces and being alone, because it allows him to focus more

He also hates chaos or unplanned things. If he has time to plan something out to a T, he can make sure nothing will go wrong, therefore insuring the safety of everyone

This being said, he never thought you were someone he'd remotely like being around, let alone dating you

No offense, but you are literally everything he hates

And when he comes into contacts with the things that make him uncomfortable (such as chaos, loudness, etc) he can get panicky

He will quickly become overwhelmed and irritable, meaning the littlest things can make him snap

If he can't focus how can he save the world? If the world isn't saved by him than who will do it? Panicking isn't helping though, it's making things worse. Oh god, he can't stop! He can't think straight long enough to calm down!

And then kaboom, he basically just shuts down

The second he met you he was on his guard, knowing this likely wouldn't end well

He prefers to not work with people, but he can handle them as long as they're quiet

This is entirely out of the question

As you can guess, your first meeting is almost a disaster

Well, everyone else didn't know it was a disaster of course. They actually thought it went pretty well!

But in actuality, L was completely overwhelmed by you

Not even you actually, just the idea that you might overwhelm him

TLDR: He became overwhelmed thinking about how overwhelmed you might make him, so you essentially did nothing wrong lol

After this, he keeps his distance

Of course though, this makes for a bad work environment

So he nervously invites you into his hotel room and explains things to you

How he feels around you, explaining his autism (which he refuses to do under normal circumstances), and asking you to explain yours as well so he can formulate an arrangement for you to be around each other without causing him to panic

After this communication is had, working together is a lot smoother

He considers you a better acquaintance than the rest of his employees

Meaning he feels closer to you

However, when you begin dating your differences are just another quirk to him that he finds endearing

He loves to see you get excited and flap your hands, he loves to see you dance to your loud music, he loves all of it

If he isn't in the headspace for loudness though, he will of course inform you before going off to be alone

If you want to try to accommodate his preferences into your behaviors is up to you, but he is perfectly happy either way

He finds himself feeling safe around you because of your loudness

Like, you are a German Shepard and he is a hurt bird

He'll hide behind you with his big ol' eyes staring at his surroundings while you fight off anyone that might be too much for him

And being exposed to you all the time helps him expose himself little by little to things that would previously make him very uncomfortable

For example, he can now go out in public without panicking over how many people there are and how many things could go wrong for short bursts of time

And he is now fine with soft music playing in the background while he works rather than just total silence the entire time

He also likes that having you around means you can do the talking for both of you and he doesn't have to actually break his focus for anything

the goobies <33

[anticanonsposts]

Fluff Alphabet-König

A= Affection (How they like to show their love.)

I feel like he’s into acts of service, like if he wakes up before you he’ll leave your coffee on the counter made, or if you get up before him you’ll come home to the bed made very nicely.

When you are in a more private setting he just likes to have a hand resting on you in some way.

He also does it by just remembering almost everything yo say, things you like, things you’ve done, things you want, he has a list of all that. 

B= Beauty (What do they especially admire about you?)

Mainly how strong and determined you are, that you have had some difficulties in life but nothing really deters you from trying new things. 

He also likes the black and white way you are with him, with most of the world you are confident and assertive but with him you are much softer and more gentle.

There’s just this warmth that radiates from you whenever he's near you.  

C= Cuddles (How they like to cuddle you.)

Despite the size I feel like he likes to be held, big spoon/little spoon he does not care.

He really likes having a bed that’s big enough for him though, once you guys move in together you specifically have to go buy one that will work for the both of you.

He usually likes to bury his face in whatever body part he is facing, he just really wants to be breathing in your scent. 

D= Dancing (Their favorite place to dance with you.) 

He has one of two places that are his favorites

The first is in the kitchen, usually impromptu when one of you is cooking/cleaning in the kitchen, playing music and the other comes up and starts to sway with the other.

His second favorite is when you are both (mainly he) are plastered at a club or party or something and since he’s drunk his anxiety is a lot less and he gets to just zone out with you pressed against him, moving to the rhythm of the music.  

E= Excitement (Do they get excited with you about things?)

Once he gets comfortable around you he will go into detail about things he is interested in.

He will also get super excited when you show interest in these things, especially when you make an effort to learn German.

He is over the moon when you and his mom start talking to each other on the reg, she quickly becomes obsessed with you and starts to always ask about you when he calls her.

He also loves when you rant about things you are interested and passionate about, it makes him really happy that you feel like you can talk to him about these things. 

F= First Date (Your first date together.) 

He is pretty traditional so he insists on taking you out to eat for your first date, but given his nervousness around a lot of people and the fact that he is already nervous because you actually said yes, you end up going on a picnic in a  park with some people in it.

He wants to make sure you also feel safe, not going to a super secluded area witha giant man for the first time.

I’m not gonna lie, your first date would probably be a little awkward because he doesn't have too much experience with first dates. 

But if anything he just wants to hear from you as much as possible.

G= Goals (Do they have things they want to achieve? Do they include you in these things?)

His ultimate goal for his future is to have a quieter, more boring life, preferably with a partner to share it with.

But more short term, to find a partner he loves, he wants to make them his and himself theirs.

H= Honesty (How open are they with you?)

Definitely not open at first, due to his anxiety he tends to get in his own head a lot and will be silent a lot around you at the beginning of your relationship.

You end up having a couple conversations with him about this, explaining to him how it makes you feel. 

But once you are in a  committed relationship and he knows he loves and trusts you, he gets to the point that he tells you pretty much everything.

He is able to truly trust you and tell you things he never thought he would tell another person. 

I= I Love You (Do they say it alot? Did they say it first?)

He for sure said it first and was nearly shitting himself when he said it to you the first time.

When you said it back he almost couldn’t believe it but then was over the moon for the next week, literally nothing made him upset that week.

Once you have both said it to each other, he says it to you like five times a day, at first just to hear you say it back, but also because he was so happy that he was now free to say it.

J= Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

He for sure does at the beginning, but it is more so jealousy because of his insecurities about himself rather than you.

He has full confidence that you would never cheat on him with anyone but he is insecure about the things he can improve on the others are already experts at.

But he gets better especially when you give him loving looks from across the room when you are at the gathering together. 

K= Kiss (Their favorite place to kiss you.) 

It's simple but he loves to kiss your cheek.

Usually he grabs your chin/face, but very gently.

He really likes how warm and plump your cheeks are and how they feel on his lips.

But when you kiss him on the cheek he blushes and his face/chest gets so red. 

L= Little Spoon (Who’s the little spoon?)

Let’s be honest obviously he likes to completely wrap around you like a big spoon but…

He fucking loves being the little spoon, he just feels very safe with you, and on a more superficial level he likes how your tits feel pressed against his back. 

M= Melody (What’s your song together?) Hehe I have no idea <3

N= Nicknames (Do they use nicknames for you?)

He uses pretty basic ones in English like sweetheart and babe but he has a phase where all he calls you is ‘my beauty’.

More often than not though he calls you pet names in German. 

O= Open Book (How hard was it to get to know them?)

Definitely very closed off at first, he doesn't like to open up to too many people but once you’re in his bubble, he talks your ear off. 

Once he trusts you there aren't many thoughts that he does not feel comfortable sharing with you.

P= PDA (How affectionate they are in public.)

Because of his social anxiety he is not very into PDA only because he already commands a lot of attention in public, and doesn’t want anymore. 

That being said he will always be holding your hand and likes it when you grab his arm at the same time.

Now when he’s drunk, it’s a completely different story, he is constantly kissing you and has his hands on your hips and waist.

If you guys are walking home from a bar he doesn’t pay too much attention so he repeatedly lifts you off the ground unintentionally as you walk as he pulls you closer to him. 

Q= Quirk (A weird but loveable trait of theirs.)

The shower always makes him sneeze, like without fault every time this man takes a shower he starts sneezing.

One time when you two were having sex in the shower, his face scrunched up and he sneezed which just caused you to start giggling and then he got shy. 

R= Romance (How romantic are they?)

Romance is this man’s forte, but you are quite literally the center of his world and he wants to make sure you know that constantly.

Surprise flowers? Check. Surprise little gifts? Check. Small intimate moments with you everyday? Check.

S= Secrets (Do they keep secrets from you?)

Like explained before, he definitely keeps secrets from you at first, before he feels completely comfortable around you. 

Especially because of his past of being bullied, he feels like it’s shameful and doesn’t like to tell people about it, but once he does open up there is no judgment from you, and it just solidifies how he feels about you. 

On a lighter note he has a really hard time keeping fun secrets from you, like gifts and surprises he has planned, he gets very nervous and goes silent a lot more. 

He’s the type of guy to be thinking in his head how excited he is and wanting to tell you, his best friend about it but then reminding himself that you are the recipient of the secret. 

T= Thrill (Do they like to keep the relationship new and exciting?)

He definitely loves domestic bliss because of the chaos that he has had in his career since he was 17. 

That being said, he loves to do anything that makes you happy, and he really likes to travel with you.

Especially when he brings you to Austria and you meet his mom and see where he grew up.

U= Understanding (How they comfort/support you when you’re upset or anxious.)

He does a lot of nurturing type behaviors when he notices your anxiety flaring up, like rubbing your back and giving you small touches in an attempt to ground you. 

He also really wants you to communicate with him when you feel like this because he just wants to know from you, what you need to be comforted.

Since he has a lot of experience with anxiety he understands how far from reality your thoughts can get, and its something that brings you closer together since neither of you have to explain your feelings/thoughts to the other. 

V= Vexed (How easily they lose their temper.)

Outside of his job he is actually pretty cool and level headed. 

Unless of course he is out with you and someone disrespects you.

Like if you are out in public and someone says something or does something so outrightly rude to you he usually starts to bitch them out. 

Or if you are having issues with your family. 

You tend to have this same behavior towards people disrespecting him which again just makes him feel very connected to you, knowing that he can always depend on you.

He would never yell at you out of anger or let his anger scare you in any way.

W= Weakness (What’s their weakness when it comes to you.) 

Touch this man’s forearm and he will bark like a dog, that’s literally all it takes.

If you're asking him for something while circling your thumb on his forearm he will immediately say yes.

He also has a huge weakness for your eyes, and if you make eye contact with him and ask for something he will almost always say yes and give you anything you want.

X= Xtra (Random hc about them.) 

Anytime he reads a book he always has a pen/pencil with him.

The books he has read are all filled with underlines and circles of passages he likes, words he thinks are cool, or parts that he thinks are beautiful and/or well written.  

Y= Years to Come (How they imagine your future together.)

He truly just wants a future with you and is willing to have it any way you want. 

If you want to marry him he would be overjoyed but he also respects you if you just want a lifetime partner status.

But bottom line he knows he wants to be with you for the rest of his life. 

Z= Zzz ( How they are when they sleep.)

I saw someone else say this and I agree, that since he is so used to sleeping in beds that are too small for him when he worked, he typically curls up quite a bit when sleeping.

However with you he really likes it because you don't care how much space he takes up as long as one of you is laying on the other. 

Also he becomes more and more of a deep sleeper as your relationship progresses.

I also think he might snore a little bit, at the very least it is a very deep and heavy breather. 

At first he’s worried that will keep you from falling asleep, but you also sleep with like 3 white noises playing so you tell him that you can’t really hear him.

[littleclosetofbyler]

it was me, i was mike

Hello world.

So I got around the byler rabbit hole around 13 days ago (backed up by a comment on the first byler yt video i watched, kinda crazy), and everything went downhill from there until two or three days ago when i realized something extremelly curious: I was Mike Wheeler once.

Now, you might be asking yourself "the f is this woman into" but hear me out: everyone has a past.

So I will tell you a little bit about myself and my first friend crush.

I was around 15-16 when it started, year 2005, she was two years younger than me and my best friend. We went to the same school, she was really really smart, we would hang out because we both liked anime and books and games. Basically I asked her to be my friend during recess one day, of course when you are 15 the interaction goes more like "hey i heard you like anime, me too, wanna hang out after this?"

And hang out we did. A lot.

Fast forward a few years we are in full friendship with me being around 18 and dumb as f. We would go everywhere together and all was great, until I met one of her friends, a guy who was just kind of cool, but I actually just liked his name.

I started dating him, because I had nothing better to do, and my friend and I were okay for around a week, and then this guy asked my friend how he could make me kiss him... and my friend cut me off.

Like that. No longer friends.

In january was her 16th birthday, I called her on the phone and asked why we were no longer hanging out, I told her I missed her and she gave me the answer that has been with me for over 15 years already: "Our age gap is too big".

At the moment I was sad and weirded out, we were friends, best friends, what the hell happened. Until a few weeks later I talked with another friend, a wise dumb kind of guy who told me the second answer that has been with me for years: "She liked you".

I was 19 when I understood my feelings for women were more than platonic, I was 19-20 when I had my first everything with women. I was 19-20 when i came out of the closet.

But when I was 18 and she liked me, I was just... oblivious.

I used to make jokes about gay people, I had a lot of internalized homophobia, I thought things were not very logical at all. It took me years to realize that my "looking up to X older girl" was not a common universally straight experience, not in the way I used to do it. It took me even more years to realize that my first idealization of a "wet dream" was not the man, but the woman in the blue dress and high hair.

A few years more, of should I say, many years more, is what it took me to realize a lot of other things; looking back, my relationship with her was never completely "normal", not for two girls in my country at that age in the year 2007.

Hidden messages, special presents, a folder full of drawings, german music, a little too close in all the photos, sleepless nights on her bed, ice cold tea specially for me, holding hands while watching anime in the darkness of a movie theater, almost hugging while a kiss happened in those movies, sleeping on my shoulder, except that she was never really sleeping.

We were everything and we were nothing, platonic friends only.

Today I am 34, and an openly not straight woman (lesbian? bisexual? I don't know, i don't care).

When I lost her I did not only lost my best friend, I lost so so much more, and it was probably the cathalist for everything that came after.

I miss her to this day.

So I understand the universal not straight experience of the crush on a friend as well as the being the crush of said friend, and let me tell you, I was Mike Wheeler, remember that guy I told you about? Well, I told him I loved him (can´t actually even remember if this happened exactly like this), because he insisted I never said it.

I have never been in love with a man, I am not sure I even ever feel anything for a man beyond platonic whatever.

So, whenever I see people say that Mike Wheeler just can't be gay, or be or anything... oh my sweet summer child, he can be, because I was, at the same age, in a not conservative contry, in 2008; why do you think it might be impossible in the 80's in a conservative town in a pretty conservative country?

Dunno, just asking.

[danjaley]

Adventures in Reading

The Hobbit - An Unexpected Journey

My first encounter with the Hobbit was when I was about ten years old and on a train-journey. My mother handed that pink edged book to me and said this was a good one, I'd enjoy it. So I looked at the cover and wondered which of these unpleasant-looking creatures was supposed to be the "Hobbit". To make things worse, the name Bilbo reminded me of a puppet-play by the Augsburger Puppenkiste "Bill-Bo und seine Kumpane" (about a gang of robbers), which I didn't enjoy. Although I usually think the world of the Augsburger Puppenkiste, and if they'd adapted the Hobbit, it would have been perfection.

Then I read the first few pages. A dwarf rang at the door of the "Hobbit". Then another dwarf. And another. And another. I did not notice anything humorous about it. I handed the book back and said it was a stupid book.

I don't have that copy any more - these are covers reprinted in the German Annotated Hobbit. It was only there that I found out, the cover art was originally supposed to look like the one on the left. Which at least has a unifying concept. But I have to confess I never liked anything by Klaus Ensikat.

The first thing by Tolkien I thoroughly enjoyed were the Father Christmas Letters, as an adorable tiny boxed set.

In my early teens, the Lord of the Rings movies came out, so it became common knowledge that this work existed, and The Hobbit was a prequel to it. My mother loves boxed sets, so of course we also have one of the Lord of the Rings+Hobbit. When I was small I always wondered why they put a small figure there instead of 0. Because I had seen those spines all my life, declared "a book for grown-ups" I never thought of them as something I might actually open and read. Since my best friend at the time "read Tolkien", I wanted to give him another chance, so I read Tuor's Arrival in Gondolin. Which is not exactly the best thing to start with.

There came the day my mother played a CD in the living-room, which I wanted to hear, but without anyone noticing I was listening. My relationship with music was even more complicated then, than it is now. So I picked up the first volume of The Lord of the Rings, which was lying about, and that was when I finally got it.

After this revelation I did read The Hobbit, but again I had tackled it wrong. Directly after The Lord of the Rings, I found it rather disappointing. It had one thing in common with Wuthering Heights: At 50% I thought, okay, all the famous quotes have been delivered, what on earth are they going to do with the rest of the book?

As an aside, my mother also owns this extraordinary English copy, which came out with the old animation-movie. That was my first read-through in English, but nowadays I have a reading-copy with all the appendices.

Then came the year 2012, in which the world did not end, but it was one of the worst years I ever lived through. It was also the year the first Hobbit movie was released. I remember thinking at the time, if I have nothing else to look forward to in this life, at least I can look forward to another two films like this. Gawd, I'm glad I was wrong! I hated part 2 and 3!

But that was when I finally got into reading The Hobbit and enjoying it. I remember how amazed I was how much the dwarf-scene made me laugh (with a clear memory of that train-experience). I had discovered that the university-library owned an old edition of the Annotated Hobbit, and I could read this in my breaks. Thanks to the movie, there was also an affordable, and much updated edition of that work in German (on the right).

But actually I also own it in English now, because the German can be all over the place, trying to squeeze poems and their translations into the margins. But then the German edition has an extra focus on the Hobbit's printing history in Germany. And that's how I discovered the beauty of annotated editions. It's a story-book, but with lots of stories about the story. I particularly love when stories in books develop after they have been published, like the famous riddle-scene between Bilbo and Gollum.

And so I wrote my own annotated edition of a book (currently secret, hopefully to be published over the next years).

[titoist]

in podgorica, they have these electrified benches. they charge your phone, when you put it down on the thing. the charger symbol. on the bench.

i thought about how things like this might condition a person to think of the internet & electronic devices not as a discrete modality of interfacing with a network but as an abstract field of matter that encompasses the globe flawlessly. which you might happen to bump into accidentally, inevitably, anywhere. on a park bench, for example. podgorica, it wants you to notice, is a very cosmopolitan city with modernity & QR codes on statues and the word 'european' stamped as a prefix on every sign. everything costs at least 5 euros. i felt very little. i felt nowhere at all. podgorica is a city without any history, basically, it is a testament to human will that it was built at all, a planned miracle. it grows off of the mountains & hills like a kind of concrete tumor. so much music everywhere, so much plastic. it got me to thinking about Niš and Aleksinac and Crna Trava and all of the places i know as home that are dying all of the time. being killed, decimated by an evil that gestates not in people (though individuals can serve to articulate it's manifestations to such an extent that they become sufficient representatives of it's logic) but in systems, crawls up your spine from the cracks in sidewalks. it felt less like a city and more like a resort town for german pensioners. today if it were isolated it could never be anything nearing self-sufficient. it's economy is based on smuggling cigarettes into germany. suddenly i understand the emotions behind the petulant misdirected nationalism of montenegrin serbs; if i was witness to such a blatant artificial division being used to justify the creation of what amounts to an opportunistic shell company of a country, i would be tearing my hair out. it made me start thinking about how Crna Trava's genocide is reaching such a feverish pitch that i can look at the census data of individual villages and deduce exactly which people i remember from childhood have died in destitution and there was so much cigarette smoke i felt my lungs bleeding and voices were yelling but i never saw anyone. everyone here is something and everyone outside is nothing, everyone who won't ever manage to crawl their way here will continue to never be something, anything

electric benches

[15-lizards]

Hi. I know that you are the ASOIAF blog who likes history and fashion and aesthetics, and while I know that what I am sending in your askbox may not be your cup of tea, it is still related to that. What I think you should know is that the illuminations of the three conquerors, and Visenya, that Rhaenyra looked through in an episode that I don't know because I don't actually watch House of the Dragon myself and absorb it secondhand through other people's ASOIAF blogs instead, is based on the art style present in the Codex Manesse, a collection of Minnesang poetry that was created in the 1300s.

Here are some illuminations from the Codex Manesse to compare.

Anyway, I hope you can see where my claim is coming from. Thank you for receiving my ask. I just thought that it would have been nice if someone else knew about a very distinct medieval art style from one specific medieval manuscript may have inspired some of the props in House of the Dragon, even as a fun fact. That is because I know practically nothing about the area between the two circles of the Venn Diagram of ASOIAF fans and medieval music enjoyers.

I ADORE THIS STYLE I NEVER KNEW THE SPECIFIC NAME I always called it "medieval manuscript art" bc I found its really specific to manuscripts and books only. I noticed it in the show and was actually super excited that we got such clearly medieval inspired illustrations, because we didn't get much in the way of art in GOT. It looks just like a medieval history pulled from an old German castle I loved it. But yes thank you so much for the ask and the fun fact!!! I will be pouring over this codex now and assigning all the pieces ASOAIF characters in my brain

[mac-lilly]

Mega Con London BTS Recap

Since this is a more personal recap of MegaCon London (and a bit of a comparison with Back to the Musical World con by Dream It), I didn't include it in the JATP info dump from yesterday.

BTTMW backstory

Let's do some backstory first. As you may know, the official JATP cancellation was announced at the first Back to the Musical World con back in 2021. I wasn't there for multiple reasons including Covid but also I just got into the fandom and it felt weird. I'm socially awkward - I cannot look into people's eyes, I stutter - especially when talking English - or ramble and I struggle to just touch strangers which is not helpful for photo ops.

So what I was supposed to do there? These people are actors - strangers I have nothing to do with. They aren't the characters I've fallen in love with. Yeah, not my thing, I thought.

However, when the BTTMW2 got announced, I was like 'You know, let's go to just show the cast how much you loved the show'. It was supposed to give me some closure. So I went.

And while the con was a fucked-up disaster in terms of organization and schedule - on Sunday, Charlie signed autographs until 10 pm, and Owen would have done the same if his mom hadn't cut off his line. (On that note: Never mess with a German mom protecting her kid. You'll lose.) But meeting the cast was an entirely different experience. I'd never interacted with them before, so I was anxious as fuck. However, they were so nice and considerate - and seeing them goof around was just adorable.

(And this pic is still one of my fav pics ever.)

And not just the cast. I met so many amazing people there who are now my friends. Big shoutout to them!

So, despite my hatred for Dream It, I went to BTTMW4 (and thankfully it was less chaotic than BTTMW2). But I was also determined to go to MegaCon bc I knew Jeremy wouldn't come back to Paris. (Unlike the other JATP cast members, he's done plenty of other cons before and knows that you shouldn't be so drained that require alcohol to make it through the day.)

BTTMW vs MegaCon London

So, just in general: MegaCon was clearly the better experience.

Firstly, it was cheaper than DI. Much cheaper.

(Note 1: The * prices are from 2022 since Jeremy wasn't at BTTMW4. In 2023, the photo with Madi, Owen & Charlie was already €180. All four would have been over €200 for sure.

Note 2: The prices for MegaCon were originally in £. The price in € is what I paid according to my credit card.

Note 3: Even though not 100% accurate: € = $)

Obviously, Charlie canceled later. But I automatically got a refund. So bonus for MegaCon.

Unlike with Dream It, you were allowed to film and take pictures everywhere, which was cool. And since the panels were exclusively in English, you actually got way more content. The panels were also much longer, and it seemed like the cast was more at ease. For example, Owen started to play body drums on stage, and he initiated the boomshakalaka without being drunk. This is such an incredibly sad thing to say, but I've never seen him that relaxed during a panel.

Also, shoutout to the many fans that were at the Saturday panel. According to the hist, it was the largest crowd they had on Saturday. (If MegaCon had been smarter and had announced the Sunday panel before the people got their passes, it would have had a huge audience, too.)

The autographs ran smoothly, and there was always a queue, which was good bc Own confirmed that it was Jeremy who convinced MegaCon to invite him and Charlie. (Madi got invited later - I assume after people haunted them on IG about her.) MegaCon was wary about it bc they had no idea if the cast was worth the money. I hope the audience on Saturday, the lines for the autographs, and the massive delays at the photo studio caused by the JATP fans (and technical issues) convinced them.

Side note: After Charlie canceled, I got an email from MegaCon. And obviously, I know they just used some phrases to placate us. But I still hope they meant it when they wrote,

MegaCon, you won't read this. But if you get them again, I'll be there!

(And again shoutout to the amazing people I met in London. To my fellow German tumblr friends: I loved meeting you guys and hanging out with you!)

So the only thing that wasn't great were the photo ops. Yeah, most of the Saturday photos are terrible bc of the fucked-up lighting, and due to technical issues, there were so many delays. (Though to be fair, BTTMW also had issues with photo ops.)

So overall, I genuinely enjoyed MegaCon, and I'm very excited to head off to Dublin on Saturday to give Jeremy the birthday card. To all the people who signed it: THANK YOU!

Some other random things that don't fit anywhere

Not Owen assuming that Deutsche Bahn must always be on time bc Germans are always on time. Bro, I know it's been a while since you visited Germany ... but please, that was mean.

When I gave him ghostie!Willie, Owen told me how much his family loves the little ghosties 🥹🥹🥹 (which explains why his dad was in my IG stories after he posted the pic of the ghosties.)

It's random, but this con was so much more balanced in terms of fans. I remember fans being kinda uninterested in Jeremy at the BTTMW - some fans even got angry at him bc he refused certain poses. At MegaCon, the interest was equally split between those three, and it made me happy.

Here's the lovely ghost merch I bought at MegaCon. Obviously, the pride ghost and the skateboard ghost are Willex, the couple is Juke, and the ghosts with the kitty and the one with the pumpkin are both Reggie! (I talked to the guys running the stalls, and they were so baffled about all the JATP fans - a few Fantoms came over from the US and Canada just for this con.)

[konigsprinzessin]

donnerkeil. part four, yandere!könig x reader

hi! i’m back! please like and reblog! also this was only edited once so if there’s any mistakes let me knowwwwww!

it was unfortunate that everything was closed. he offered kindly to take you out that afternoon to learn more about each other although the realization that it was sunday made him feel like an idiot. his plan to continue the rest of the day with you was interrupted as quite literally- nothing was open. the shops and restaurants closed. he wasn’t going to invite you into his apartment yet, he didn’t want you to think he was insane and/or trying to prey upon you. 

he didn’t think he was insane. just someone with a lot of emotions.

maybe.

he held your basket in his hands walking by your side yet slightly trailing behind you, following your lead. you were making you way back to your apartment, knowing the tall man was following beside you. you were deciding whether or not to invite the man you just met not more than an hour ago into your living space, into your space, into your apartment. the fact that you couldn’t make your mind was eating you up with stress and anxiety. 

he seemed kind enough but you were from a place were the meaning of “stranger danger” was more severe and realistic compared to the small austrian countryside. everyone knew each other here and looked after each other, both the young and the old. walking besides you was the behemoth of a man. you could only imagine the looks on the little old ladies’ faces as your small frame was accompanied by the almost 7 foot giant, especially with how sweet and lovingly he was treating you. as well as him holding your little basket filled with fruits and other items from the market. 

“are you here for work?” he questioned. 

“school. i go to university of vienna.” you chirped. a certain “bounce” in the tone of your voice. 

“and what will you study?” he inquired. you were unable to see the smile forming on his scarred lips.

“i’m not too sure yet, i’m thinking something with science or health. for a while i wanted to be a teacher.” you giggled, letting a sigh escape from your parted lips.  

“wow, you’re so smart then.” you felt a light blush cast over your cheeks because of his compliment. 

“and you? which university do you go to” you asked, turning your head to look up at him. könig was such a fitting name for him. you were still in belief over his height yet his calm and nice personality. he was soft spoken around you, in his line of work he would bark orders at men not that much older than you and slaughter men with guns twice your size. 

“uh i’m not a student anymore. i’m apart of the police? i think is how you say it?” he laughed in embarrassment, his voice was higher pitched clearly manipulating his voice to make it seem like his english skills were much more duller than what they actually were. könig had men deployed from america and other english speaking countries and put just as much fear into them as what he did the native german speaking recruits. you were too perfect to find out he was a colonel, a military man, a murderer. 

“oh my, what type of policework do you do? i know its a lot different from what the policework is like back home. but i’ve never met an officer before.” 

“nothing happens here but if a fight happens or if there’s loud music i deal with that. nothing too crazy.” he followed as you turned right on the cobblestone sidewalk, he let you walk on the slightly elevated sidewalk while he trailed right besides you on the side of the road. by no means was it a busy street so there was no reason to be worried about speeding cars. you saw your terracotta coloured apartment and stopped outside the brown oak door. könig quickly caught on that the door behind you was yours, and that led to your house. you led him to it without a second thought, no doubts in your mind that he could be dangerous at all- to you he was a gentle giant. you had let him right to the place you felt most safe in. all he had to do was wait for you to open that door and he could rush you. throw that stupid fucking basket on the floor. hold his hand over your mouth, threaten you and tell you that you’re coming with him. tell you that you’re never going to see that room again and you’d drop out of school as soon as you were settled in his apartment. which wasn’t too far for someone who was familiar with the area but it was far enough for a foreigner to get lost. 

“ah.” he trailed, handing you the basket. you held the straw handle within your fingers. his hand quickly brushed upon yours but that didn’t make him falter- not yet at least. he decided then it wouldn’t be the best time to attack you in mid-morning plus you needed to gain his trust just a little bit more. 

funny how within those few hours he figured that you’d make the perfect wife for him. all you need is him and all he needs is you.

“i’m sorry, i would invite you in but my flat is a mess.” you laughed, rubbing your arm in shame. “i can give you my number though! if you want it that is.” you looked back up at him with the most angelic smile könig had ever seen. he is the reason why you were smiling so wide. you were too perfect for this cruel world, too innocent to know what he does for work and too precious to know the thoughts and fantasies crowding his mind. 

[adoriels-tears-if]

I'm the anon from the plushy-familiar ask. See, while I was writing that ask I got to wonder about something I often end up asking many IF authors: names, and naming conventions.

While I do appreciate the fact you've given suggestions in game (there is nothing worse for me, someone who likes to name my MCs in a way that fits the world as much as possible, when a fantasy game does not include suggestions for names), I'm also someone greedy for knowledge. So, I came here to ask about names.

As I have noticed, most humans seem to have rather common names that could fit in our world. Names like Arthur, Tobias or Liam. That said, those names all have different etymological origins. Arthur is celtic (most likely, is not entirely certain), Tobias comes from Hebrew, and Liam is germanic (as is a short form of William). So, would it make sense to have names like Tom, John, Richard, Henry or Duncan for a human male? It so seems to me. Basically, names that could make sense in medieval England (although Liam feels very modern to me, yet is the name I chose for my MC simply because I like how it sounds, but I may change it later).

Yet elves seem to have especial fantasy names. While both Dwarfs (courtesy of Tally) and Orcs (courtesy of Corden, if I'm not mistaken) have real world names, just very unusual.

So, I was wondering. Given how MC is likely given a human name, both because our mother is choosing it and because we are supposed to blend in amongst humans, am I correct on my observations? Or do you have a more complex, or more free, way of seeing how to name human characters? Like, are human characters also able to have fantasy, or uncommon, names?

In any case, unless it's too much of a bother, could you give examples of names you've considered giving as a suggestion for MC? Or names you think would make sense for MC to have in world? You already gave some in game, so you don't have to do this. I'd just like to know your thought process behind it.

there's no real reason why I chose these names, I think I just chose them because I like them.

although Liam actually comes from a character in one of my fanfics that will never make it onto Tumblr. Tobias is for a video game I used to play on DS when I was little. and Arthur because I love King Arthur.

I also wanted to suggest ESCA for the character of the Eagle of the 9th Legion, played by Jamie Bell if I remember correctly. so now it's true that I tend to use English names, but I think that's because I write in English. When I write in French, I tend to use French names. it's not out of the question for there to be characters with more French or other first names as the story progresses. in general naming characters is a pain for me, I hate it and tend to use generators

it's true that when it comes to skiing the names of orcs and elves, I tend to be a little more exotic.

if the names of the dwarfs may seem a little banal, I do have a kind of reason - I don't know if you've noticed, but I only use names beginning with T. Tally, Tallion, Telio, Tazio, Troye. and there's a reason for this: the deity to whom the dwarves are attached is called Telemandir. As far as humans are concerned, I think any name can be used.

as long as they're fairly old names, I mean, I wouldn't want to have a Kevin in my world. 😆 as for the elves, I like to have sounds that are a little musical, so Lessica, for example, is pretty, I think.

as for the orcs, I think I found the name Corden in the game Banish. if I remember correctly, but I have the impression that there's a sort of pattern emerging since one of the other orcs I have in mind who comes from the cardan family is called Oren.

Another piece of information I can share with you, for example, is that the Princely Family ruling men, their first names all start with a K.

it's a tradition that's been going on for a little over 300 years. The men decided to give up their crown and their title of king and queen to take only that of prince, since Amandine was acting up.

Another small piece of information but MC has a human name chosen by Eliana but he or she also has an elven first name chosen by Ash.

[spookygirl4]

𝔞𝔟𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔪𝔢 :𝔭

i've never done one of these so....

my names lily and im 18!

major violet harmon fan!

very much a bill kaulitz enthusiast (im obsessed him)

i love music from the 70s, 80s, 90s, and some early 2000s.

im extremely interested by cryptids and appalachian folklore

i read and listen to music alot! im also very into writing, nothing post worthy just personal writing. :)

i love collecting physical media such as books, vinyls, cd's, etc.

my biggest aspiration is to travel the world and learn new languages. I would love to see the mountains of ukraine, edinburgh, etc.

i'm learning german

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some shows/movies i like are

the umbrella academy

american horror story

karate kid/cobra kai

stranger things

chilling adventures of sabrina

any and all chucky films

star wars

twilight

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i basically post any thoughts I have on here, any of the fandoms that I’m in, etc. :)