#never seen the owner not sure if he even exist s actually

[whyamistillawake]

just went to a bookstore life is worth living

[xspeter]

𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒

𝟎𝟎𝟐: “the lucky one.”

reminder that this fic is written like the book, ‘daisy jones and the six’, so it is written in interview format.

m.list ⇦ previous chapter next chapter ⇨

Y/N L/N (lead singer of, "Silver Springs"): Talent isn't always something that comes naturally. Lots of times there's years of hard work that's put into it- but not for me. I was born talented. Everyone knew it too.

This isn't just me having a big head, either. I could fucking sing. Why do you think I was as successful as I was?

Jessie Biles (biographer, author of "Y/N L/N: Wildflower"): You've got a rich, beautiful, teenage girl living in LA in the 70's. She's gorgeous- even as a child, and once you get to know her, you find out she's talented too.

She's born with all the money in the world and access to whatever she wants- artists, drugs, clubs- anything and everything at the tips of her fingers.

But she's alone. She's got no siblings, no extended family. Her parents are so focused on whatever bullshit they've got going on that they hardly notice she exists.

So, she acts out. She starts going to clubs, getting high with older men, starts doing some real illegal shit.

We love broken, beautiful people. And it doesn't get much more obviously broken and classically beautiful as Y/N L/N.

Y/N: I think the first time i went to a club I was thirteen. My parents were having some bullshit business party and locked me in my room.

I was done with their bullshit, so I opened up my window, pushed out the screen, and left.

I was barefoot, cold, and the only place I could think to go was downtown.

Johnny Marcum (owner of 'The Golden Fleece'): The first time that girl walked into my bar, I thought she was the most beautiful thing i'd ever seen.

Now, I didn't know she was thirteen when she walked in there! On my life, I thought she was at least 23. She just had this mature aura about her.

Y/N: The first thing I hear when I step into that dingy bar, is, "Hey, where are your shoes?" *laughs*, like, that's your biggest concern? Everyone can say that I looked so much older than i really was, but they knew.

Anyway, so I sit down at this booth with a couple older men. They're all strung out, and they're buying me drinks, and at some point, one of the men pulls out a baggy full of pills.

I don't remember which one of them offered, but i was in such a bad place that I- I took it, and it just exploded from there. I mean, that was just the start. I started going out at least six times a week after that, and if my parents noticed they sure as hell didn't care.

     

Johnny: Y/N was at The Golden Fleece pretty much from sunrise to sundown. She'd be singing, dancing, talking, hell some days she'd just come and sit in silence.

      A lot of the girls who came walking around town back then were always trying to be something they weren't. skinny, pretty, funny- you name it, they wanted to be it.

      Y/N was never like that though. She was never anything except for herself, and I imagine that's why people were drawn to her like they were.

Y/N: Being involved in that kind of life like I was, and at the age that I was, well it taught me about sex and love the hard way.

      I remember there was this one night, there was this older guy there. I don't even remember his name but... he took my virginity. We were at the golden fleece and he led me across the street to some random motel to do some lines. Said I was, "The girl of his dreams."

      I was drawn to him because he was interested in me. I wanted someone to actually look at me, y'know? I had just wanted someone to see me, and I thought he did.

      When he was done he got up, told me to get dressed, and did another line. Then he says, "If you wanna go back down to The Golden Fleece, that'd be fine." I knew he meant he wanted me to leave, and so I did.

      I never even saw him again.

Shyla Rode (R&B star): The first time me and Y/N met, we were at a party that some rich old guy was hosting at his house.

Y/N: These men, they'd invite me to these random parties they were having and of course i'd say yes. most the time I just went for the drugs.

Shyla: Y/N was just a baby. She's a baby at a grown up party, and she's got herself involved in some shit she shouldn't even know exists. The men that I saw her with when we met? They were pigs.

Y/N: When I met Shyla, she practically rescued me from this dude who was trying to get me in bed. He was practically dragging me away and I was so high I just let him.

Shyla: The guy had to be at least twenty years older than her. So I walk up to them and i'm like, "Hey, babes, you ready to go?" and she stares at me and her eyes... it was like they were staring through you. Like- like she couldn't even actually see you.

Y/N: I was confused, but I was high, so I shook my head and I said I wasn't ready to leave, but Shyla was having none of it.

Shyla: I grabbed her hand and I said, "I think you are." But she kept trying to push me off her while we were walking and she just kept saying, "No i'm fine! I don't wanna go!"

Y/N: I know I was being difficult.

Shyla: The guy she was with was following us, trying to get me to let her go, and get this- he says, "You can't make her do anything she doesn't wanna do!"

      Like, what!? He was literally about to have sex with a minor who was high out of her mind! What does he know about consent? Like, come on. It's laughable.

Y/N: Shyla forced me to leave, and once we got in her car she asked me for my address, but I refused. I said, "Why should I tell you?"

Shyla: When she said that, it took everything in me to not kick her out of my car. But, no matter how hot headed she made me, she needed help.

Y/N: Since I wouldn't tell her where I lived, she just took me back to her place.

Shyla: What else was i supposed to do? She was high, she was barefoot, and she was refusing to let me take her back to her house.

Y/N: The next morning when I woke up, I was sober. I hated being sober. So I get up off the couch and start looking around the apartment for... well anything I could get my hands on. Pills, alcohol, weed- anything.

Shyla: I woke up because someone kept slamming my cabinets, and I walk out and of my room, and there's Y/N, walking around my place like she owned it.

Y/N: I didn't even notice she was up until she yelled, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

      My first instinct was to run, but I didn't. I closed the cabinet, cleared my throat, and said, "I'm hungry."

     

Shyla: I knew she was lying, but I went with it anyway.

Y/N: She made me some of best pancakes i've ever had. After that I knew this woman was about to be my best friend.

Shyla: I think I became like, almost her mother. I was basically her guardian. She stayed the night at my house for like, weeks at a time.

Y/N: My parents never even noticed I was gone. I mean i'd come back to get some clothes or for whatever I needed, they'd glance at me, watch me leave, and never say anything.

Shyla: During the week, I would be at the studio working on my debut album, so I couldn't watch her, and a lot of the times when i'd get home she'd be higher than a kite.

Y/N: I don't know if I remember a time where I wasn't either high or thinking about getting high. Whenever shyla was gone, i'd go up to The Golden Fleece, do some pills, maybe do some weed or do some coke if anyone had any, and then i'd go back home.

Shyla: Honestly, it was starting to get... exhausting.

Y/N: So, one day shyla comes home and i'm obviously high out of my mind, and she'd obviously had enough of my bullshit.

Shyla: I said to her, "You need to get your fucking act together. If you wanna live here, you're gonna get your ass in school."

Y/N: I was never... good at school, and my parents never paid enough attention to me to know if I was going or not, so when shyla started making me go, I almost moved out.

Shyla: Her grades were always right on the cusp of failing and passing, but I did my best to help her out whenever i could.

      It wasn't like she didn't try, either. There were a lot of nights she would be sitting at the kitchen table until the late hours of the night, doing her homework or studying for exams.

Y/N: When I graduated, the only person who showed up was shyla. She was the only person who cheered for me, yet she was louder than all the other families.

Shyla: After Y/N graduated I released my first album and... it was a flop. The record label dropped me, and since that was our only source of income, Y/N was forced to get a job at some roundabout diner.

Y/N: The job at the diner didn't pay enough to keep paying for the apartment we were at though, so we were forced to downsize.

Shyla: Sometimes, when Y/N did the dishes or she was showering, she'd sing this little tune to herself. Sometimes they were songs i'd heard, but usually they were songs she'd made up

on her own.

Y/N: I started to really get into writing my own music. Usually it just a chorus or a bridge. I never really finished a song start to finish.

Shyla: I was determined to get Y/N to do something with that voice of hers, but one thing about Y/N, you can't force her to do something she doesn't wanna do.

      She'd really come into herself back then too. s

Stopped letting these men do whatever they wanted with her.

Y/N: I was seeing this guy named Aiden Bower. He was some upcoming solo singer or some shit. But, he definitely loved me more than I loved him.

      This one night we're lying in bed and he says, "I don't understand why you don't love me as much as I love you." And I just layed there in silence. I mean, what the fuck do you say to that?

      So, once he finally falls asleep, I get this idea for a song. I take out my journal and I write down some lyrics for a few hours, and then I finally fall asleep.

      When I wake up he's got the journal in front of him and his guitar in his lap, and he's reading over my songs. More specifically, the one I had written the night before.

      He says to me, "You know, you can go professional with a lot of this shit." But I just shrugged him off. 

      A couple weeks later, I hear my song on the radio. But get this, it's not me singing it.

Shyla: That bastard took her song and never even fucking credited her for it.

Aiden Bower: Look, that never fucking happened. this is why i cant stand Y/N L/N. She spreads all these lies about me. I wrote that song, end of story.

Y/N: It was starting to become a pattern. This one time, i'm having breakfast at this little rundown diner with this director guy. Now, back then I would always order a glass of champagne with my breakfast. But, I was also always tired because i didn't get enough sleep. So I needed coffee, but obviously I couldn't just order coffee cause I was already amped up from the pills I was taking. And drinking the champagne would put me to sleep- you see my problem? So I used to order champagne and coffee together, and at the places servers knew me, i'd just call it an 'Up and Down.' And this guy i was with thought it was hilarious. He says, "I'm gonna use that in something some day." and he wrote it down on a napkin and put it in his pocket.

      That's how it was back then. I was always gonna be the inspiration for some man's great idea. But you know what? Fuck that.

      That's why I decided to start putting my own shit out there.

Shyla: I was the only one who wanted her to do something with herself- do something with her talent. Everyone else would just make something of themselves with what she had.

Y/N: I had absolutely no interest in being anybody else's muse.

      I am not the muse.

      I am the somebody.

      End of fucking story.

Shyla: Next thing we know and it's 1982 and       Y/N's started wearing these big hoop earrings. She never wore shoes either.

      Y/N started seeing this guy, he was just like everyone else in LA- trying to make a name for himself, and he drags me and Y/N down to this karaoke bar.

Y/N: He practically begged me that entire night to get up on stage with him. Eventually, I gave in.

      It's pretty nerve-wracking. The first time you get on stage in front of all those people, and they're all looking at you like they're expecting you to amaze them.

      And it feels so good when you do.

Shyla: She was a fucking natural on that stage. took all the attention away from whatever shit head she was seeing at the time. Around the second chorus, she just let it rip.

Marcus Jennings (lead singer of Amor): When I went up there with Y/N, I had no idea that her voice was that powerful. I’d heard her in the shower before but- on that stage? she was fucking amazing.

She had this incredible voice. Gritty, but never scratchy. It made everything she sang complex and a little unpredictable. You know, i’ve never had much of a voice myself, but you don’t need a voice to be a singer if your songs are good enough- but Y/N? She had the whole fucking thing.

She had the talent of someone who had been practicing for years- decades even- and it was just natural. I was always trying to get her to sing with me, and that was the first night she actually agreed.

I told Y/N, “The biggest thing your songs have going for them is that you might sing them.” But she always hated when people tried to help her.

She yelled at me for a while, and then eventually, she asked me where she should try and play some gigs.

Y/N: I wanted- no I needed to get my songs heard. So I started going around to different karaoke bars, I even did some backup vocals on Shyla’s album that she was working on.

Suddenly, it was like there was so many people trying to convince me to do a demo. All these men wanted to be my manager but I knew what they really wanted. All they saw was this naïve girl that would believe anything they said- but I wasn’t that girl anymore.

There was this dude named Martin Brenner, and he was the only one I could tolerate. Mostly because he was the only one actually interested in my music.

Shyla: Something Martin hadn’t put into account though, was that Y/N couldn’t stand when people tried to tell her what to do.

Y/N: Brenner gave me this song by some song writer I had never even heard of, and he asked me to record a demo of it.

I show up to the studio, I read over the song, I sing it how I wanna sing it, Brenner asks me, “Can you sing it a little smoother?” I said, “Nope.” And I left.

Shyla: She got signed to Upside-Down Records right after that.

Y/N: I didn’t care about the singing. It was the songwriting that I loved. So when Brenner started to try and dictate what I sang and what I didn’t sing- it made me mad.

So, Brenner shows up to my house and he asks for a compromise. I say, “I either sing my own songs- or i’m not signing your contract.”

Shyla: I wish I could’ve seen Brenner face when she said that.

Y/N: He barely even argued with me. I told him what I wanted, and I wasn’t letting up. So eventually, he told me I needed to write some real songs. Not just the half-assed songs I was writing at the time.

So that’s what i did.

ppl should honestly write more books in this format. it’s easy to write and easy to read.

[connor-is-ok]

“The Hunchback” by Connor S. O’Keefe

For more info on the content warnings, check my wattpad.

Content warnings: Fear, Language, Mental Health, Violence, Blood, References to Alcohol Abuse

—————————————————————————

I went into the gas station to get a pack of cigarettes, and I was nearly frozen from the short walk inside. For the middle of autumn in Mississippi it was surprisingly cold. At least I think it was. I had just moved here and didn’t really have anything to compare it to. The cashier definitely could tell something was wrong because he told me they were on the house. Guess he was the owner or something, that or he was about to get fired. I appreciated it though, since I realized I had forgotten my wallet after I asked him the price. As I was leaving he told me he hoped my day got better. I stopped, glanced over my shoulder, and after a beat I popped a cigarette in my mouth and told him I doubted it would. I walked outside and lit it. I took a puff and almost hacked up a lung. Guess I should have seen that coming since I had never smoked before. I zipped up my ragged bomber jacket and hurried over to my car. I quickly unlocked the doors and hopped in. Put my key into the ignition and…. Nothing. Not even a croak.

“Damn it.” I muttered under my breath. The last thing I needed today was my car going dead. This didn’t surprise me though. Couldn’t expect much more from a 2002 bucket of Toyota bolts. I wish I could’ve bought something better but this thing was all I could afford at the time. I had spent most of my money moving to Jackson two and a half months ago. I might have been able to afford some upgrades by now but after losing my job I hadn’t been able to find another. It was a small construction job. Ten bucks an hour which was decent. The construction company usually hired people in rehab so they didn’t really care that I had no resume. But a couple weeks in, after most of the employees failed a surprise drug test, the owner decided to fire everyone and rebuild his roster from the ground up, or some bullshit like that. Even though I passed and have been sober for almost three years, I guess they didn’t want to take the chance with me. I haven’t even touched drugs before, except for some experiments with weed in college. You would think having a college degree would really help my chances of getting a job but I guess having a criminal record, no matter how small, can really screw you over.

I prayed to whatever being is out there and turned the key again and the Corolla desperately tried to start. After ten seconds of holding the key in place, I was about to slam my fist on the dash when the stupid hunk of junk actually turned over. “Finally.” I pulled out of the parking lot, flicked the cigarette out of the window, and drove home. Well, I say home. It was a shitty motel but it worked. Since I had been there a month and a half before I lost my job they were only charging me $20 a month until I could pay them in full but with that kind of deal you can guess how bad it was. It's just a small local place and the owner is the sole morning receptionist who's just looking for some amount of business. At the time I was her only customer. I still had to kill at least four bugs a day though.

I say I’ve been sober but recently I hadn’t been so sure. The hallucinations had started again. That’s what the doctor said they were. Hallucinations from psychosis due to alcohol abuse. And I hoped he was right, because there’s no way evolution, or god, or whatever being is up there would ever let a nine and a half foot tall thing like that exist. That’s why I got clean. I went to rehab, and the hallucinations hadn’t been back since. That is, until two days ago. I woke up around 3:30 AM two nights ago to a tapping on my window. I blinked a few times and it was gone. Then, last night around 8:30 the tapping started again. I looked out the window, and to my horror, the giant was back. It smiled and waved at me. I screamed and rushed to the window, shutting the curtains. I climbed in bed and curled up under the covers. All night that thing was tapping and scratching at my window. Around 5 AM it finally stopped but I still couldn’t move. Then, when I thought myself brave enough to take a look, it was gone. That’s why I, a brown-haired, green eyed, 26-year-old unemployed vagrant, am buying my first ever pack of cigarettes at 6:30 AM on a Saturday morning.

I got back to the motel around 6:45. I walked in, put the pack of Camels on the counter by the door and walked over to the window. I still hadn’t opened the curtains up again. To be honest I was terrified too. I hadn’t slept at all last night and the fear was stiffening even still. I slowly grasped one of the curtains and pulled it open with the slowest movements I’ve ever had. And the window was perfectly fine. No scratches or dents anywhere.

“What the hell?” I mumbled to myself. “I could have sworn…… maybe it was just a nightmare and I actually did get some sleep.” I wasn’t really tired so the thought process made sense. All of the sudden a small pinging noise came to my attention. It was the motel’s answering machine. I forgot the room even had one of those. I had to use that as my phone number because I couldn’t afford a cell phone at this point. I walked over and clicked the play button. A deep southern drawl came out of the other end. He wanted to meet me at 9 for a….. a job interview? Is he serious? He didn’t say where to meet in the store, he just said he wanted to meet at Shores Grocery Stores. Luckily I knew where that was because it was actually across the street from that gas station where I bought the cigarettes from. I quickly called him back and said I would meet him there.

Nine o clock came by much faster than I expected it to. I got to the store five minutes before the agreed upon time. I had gotten a shower and dressed in my nicest clothes at the time, sweatpants and a plain black t-shirt that didn’t show stains. I walked in and asked a cashier where the main office was and he directed me to the back right corner of the store where a little alcove was. I knocked on the door and heard “C’mon in.” from the other side. I opened the door and walked inside. “Can I help you?” Asked a man who looked like he was about to go to a rodeo. He was a six-foot-three, blonde haired, blue eyed, 56 year old Caucasian man, wearing a blue flannel shirt, cowboy boots, a white cowboy hat, and dark blue Wrangler jeans.

“Um… y-yeah, I-I��m here for a job interview.” I stammered.

“Ah, yeah, you’re in the righ’ place. Have a seat.” This guy's southern accent was something else. I could barely understand half of what he was saying. He stuck out his hand. “Name’s Terry Shores. I own this here establishment.”

I shook his hand and sat in the seat across from him. “Hi, I’m Jordan. Jordan Belmont.”

“Ah, Jordan. Like the country from the Bible Lands.”

“The What Lands?”

He looked at me as if he was second guessing his decision. I wouldn’t blame him if he was. One look at me and I would have kicked myself to the curb, not even a word shared.

“I’m actually named after my grandfather. Richard Jordan Manhoff.”

“Well ain’t that something. Do yah have any religious beliefs, son?”

“Well…. Kind of.”

“How kind of?”

“Well, I’m agnostic.”

“Agnostic?” He asked. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to figure out what it meant or if he was trying to not laugh.

“It means that I-“

“I know wha’ it means. You’re agnostic an’ yah decided to move to the Bible Belt?”

“What’s the Bible Belt?”

“Oh bless your heart.” He said, shaking his head and smiling. Being from California, I of course had no idea what he meant by that so when I responded with “Um….. thank you?” Terry threw his head back and laughed the biggest belly laugh I have ever heard. After about twenty seconds of laughing he wiped his eyes, looked at me, and said “Alright, let’s get this interview started, why don’t we? I see yah got a Bachelor’s in Business Management?”

“Yes sir, I do.” I said, knowing exactly where this interview was going.

“Wonderful, but I also see that yah have a criminal record, is tha’ right?”

“Uh, yes sir… I do” I said, my heart sinking with a feeling that this interview was about to come to an abrupt end.

“Tell me about that. How’d yah get it? What’d yah do?” Terry’s long southern drawl made it feel like the words were stretched out, making them hurt even more as I knew once I told him what happened, he would almost definitely ask me to leave.

“Well…. It’s a bit of a long story.”

“Well go right on ahead. I got pretty much nothing else to do today. After this all I do is just watch sec’rity cameras.”

“I um…. I burned down my house…”

“Now why in God’s green earth would you burn your own house down?”

“Well… it wasn’t my house per se. It was my landlord's house that I was renting.”

Terry nodded. “Righ’. And?”

“Well…. To shorten it up a bit, I had an alcohol problem, and according to the doctor it was so bad that it made me hallucinate this demonic creature thing, and I thought it was chasing me. I got so paranoid that one time I poured gasoline all over my house and prepared for it to come back. When it did, I ran out of the house, and threw a match into a puddle I had made, burning the whole place down in an attempt to kill the thing. When my landlord found out, he pressed charges. The judge gave me two options. 2 years in prison with a year of probation, or mandatory rehab with at least 2 years of supervised AA meetings, where there would be a cop to check in on me every week, which would also count as 2 years probation.”

“You still go to AA?”

“Yes sir… well, when my car will let me, if it works.”

Terry laughed, “Yeah, I’ve been having similar issues like that the last couple days. My truck darn near di’nt turn on this mornin’. Almost thought I would have to call and cancel with yah. Are yah still sober?”

“Yes sir. Almost three years now.”

“Well, here’s the thing. If yah don’t burn down any more houses, yah stay sober, and yah go to AA at least twice a month for the next 4 months, I’ll give yah the job immediately.”

I nearly got whiplash from his words by how much I did a double take. “Wait, what?”

“I need someone to manage my store and you seem to be the most suitable candidate I’ve seen these past two weeks. It only pays nineteen an hour, no Walmart or nothing, but we could renegotiate after a while if yah prove yourself reliable.”

“Are you serious?” I asked incredulously. No way this guy was about to hire me, a convicted arsonist, to manage an entire grocery store.

“Course I am.” He said solemnly. “I’m intending to open a ranch with my wife where kids can come and learn about horses. I love learning kids to ride.”

“Teaching kids.” I said and immediately regretted every syllable. I REALLY needed this job. And now I just blew it.

“What’d you say?” He glared at me.

“I’m sorry. Old habit. I was an English minor and I tutored middle schoolers during college. I’m really sorry. Please forgive me.” I begged him, desperately attempting to save myself.

Terry smiled a big, tobacco stained toothy smile. “I’m just messing with yah. My wife Meera has been trying to get me to have better grammar for months. She’ll appreciate having someone at the store to do that too. So what'd yah say? Can yah start tomorrow?”

“Um… yeah!” I said, barely able to contain my excitement. This was by far the best thing that had happened to me in a good 5 years since I had graduated college. “As long as my car doesn’t run out of gas by then. I can’t really afford gas until Monday.”

“Tell yah what,” Terry said leaning forward. “There’s a gas station across the street. I’ll pay for a full tank and I can just take a bit from your first few paychecks until it’s paid back. How’s tha’ sound?”

“Are you sure? You really don’t have to do that.” I said feeling guilty at the amount of generosity he had already shown by even offering me the job.

“O’ course. Like I said. I really need someone to fill this position.”

When we got outside Terry asked me which car was mine. In the thirty minutes we were in his office the parking lot had practically filled up. I pointed out my car and Terry exclaimed “GOOD GOD SON! That’s your vehicle? Are yah sure I shouldn’t just buy yah a new car instead of a tank of gas?” We both laughed and I drove him over to the gas station. Afterwards I thanked him profusely and agreed that I would be back tomorrow morning at 8AM sharp. He told me to hang on a second, walked back inside, and returned a few seconds later with a new pair of jeans. He tossed them to me and said “I’ll take these off your first few checks as well. You’ll need them. No sweatpants in the dress code.” I looked at them. 31/30. I looked up.

“How did you know what pant size I wear?”

Terry chuckled and turned around to walk inside. “I have an awfully good eye for knowing those things about people. See you at eight, Jordan.” And with that he walked inside, and I had a job. I was so excited I could scream. But I didn’t because I didn’t want to look insane…… again.

That night, after I did laundry, I laid out a Ramones t-shirt, and the pair of jeans Terry had given me. I had to go to another store to buy a belt because I felt too embarrassed to walk into the Shores Grocery Stores to buy one. I honestly wasn’t even sure if they would have one to begin with. I bought a cheap braided leather belt and a couple microwave dinners, and now I was broke until Monday when my last check from the construction job could go through. I had waited to cash it until I absolutely needed to. As I left the parking lot, though, I could have sworn that I saw it again. That thing. Whatever it is. And I knew I was completely sober. Back at the motel, I nuked a Hungry Man microwave dinner and closed the curtains again. I was so exhausted from the night before but I had a bad feeling that the thing would come back again tonight. I had bought some melatonin at the store as well, so after everything was prepared for Sunday and I had eaten dinner, I popped five into my mouth, swallowed them down with a can of Sprite I had gotten at the motel vending machine, and passed out within three minutes. The next time I woke up was 6 hours later, 5AM, except this time there was no tapping, there was no scratching. I honestly believe I just woke up because my body was ready to be awake. I wasn’t even tired anymore. I climbed out of bed, got a shower, put on the jeans but decided to put a Clash t-shirt on instead of the Ramones one because it was less wrinkled. It wasn’t anywhere near time for me to go to work so I grabbed the cigarettes, climbed onto my bed and flipped on the tv. The Boomerang channel came on playing the Flintstones, which I'm not really a fan of, but I didn't feel like switching the channel so it stayed. I popped a Camel into my mouth and lit it with a cheap Scripto lighter I had gotten for a dollar a couple weeks back. I took a slow deep drag from it and exhaled, a much smoother attempt than last night. Then, I saw it. I call it the Hunchback. It’s human-like, but it has brownish-gray skin, with giant, black soulless eyes. Small palms with extremely long fingers and short, sharp nails. It’s completely hairless, with long arms that drag on the ground. Sharp pointed, shark-like teeth, with a tongue that it constantly uses to lick its non-existent lips whenever it watches me. When it walks it always has bent knees and it leans over like an old person using a walker. It has long feet, I would guess a foot and a half each. And it’s growled at me before. It sounded distorted, kind of like the Jurassic Park T-Rex. But now, it was sitting on my TV. I don’t mean on top of my TV. I mean INSIDE. On the show. It was sitting next to Fred Flintstone’s recliner, where Dino was supposed to be. And he was staring at me… licking his would-be lips. I screamed and threw the lighter at the tv. I missed and it smashed against the wall.

“Shit!” I cried as I had simultaneously broken my only lighter and made a huge mess on the wall. I grabbed for the TV remote, but it was gone. Nowhere to be found. I had set in on the nightstand, but it wasn’t there. It wasn’t on the floor or anything. It had just disappeared. I rushed over to the TV set and as I did I saw the Hunchback approaching the screen as well. It sounded like it was moaning. A long, drawn out howl type of sound. I pressed the power button and nothing happened. I tried changing the channel. Nothing. The Hunchback was starting to move faster. Finally I reached for the power cord in the wall behind the TV. As I pulled it out I saw the Hunchback attempt to leap out of the TV but I had pulled the cord out of the wall just in time. And as the TV screen faded, I got a chance to stare my attacker in the face. Which immediately made me feel nauseous. I took a seat on the bed to catch my breath. My heart was racing. Am I going crazy? I thought. I haven’t had a drink in years but it’s back again. There’s no way this is a hallucination this time. It can’t be. I decided to put it out of my mind and went to the bathroom to grab some toilet paper to wipe the lighter fluid off the wall. Suddenly I smelled something burning and remembered I had set the cigarette on the nightstand. I quickly ran over and put it in the ashtray. Thank god that I wasn’t in a non-smoking room. I finished cleaning up the lighter fluid and hoped that it wouldn’t stain and the motel staff wouldn’t be too pissed at me for any potential smell. I looked at the clock, 6:35. The motel had a small breakfast bar. Just toast and cereal. It’s not technically a breakfast bar, just food for the overnight staff, but I’d become friends with the receptionist, a short, stocky black guy named Russell. He sometimes lets me in the back for some food in the early mornings.

I was able to grab a match book from Russell while eating breakfast with him. A bowl of Frosted Flakes and two pieces of cream cheese toast. I went back to my room to grab the pack of Camels before I hopped in my Corolla and drove to work. It was only a five minute drive so I actually got there twenty minutes early. I expected more people to be there but there were only two other cars and Terry’s dark blue Chevy Silverado. So I went back to Terry's office, and talked with him for a bit. I mainly wanted to ask him one question; why is it called Shores Grocery Stores instead of Shores Grocery Store. It turns out that Terry called it that because when he opened the store seven years ago he was intending to have multiple stores by their tenth year. I also asked him why they had a clothing section if they were a grocery store, and where it was. Terry’s response was they had installed a full clothing section two years ago to try and expand the store Walmart style but it hadn’t gone over well, but Terry decided to keep a small one just in case the clothing section started being in demand. The clothing section was in the back left corner, opposite Terry’s office, so I took a bit of time to see what they had, and it was exactly what I expected. Flannel shirts, Wrangler jeans, and three cowboy hats. A very Terry clothing section. As I headed to the back to clock in for the first time I learned that the two other cars in the parking lot belong to the two main openers, one cashier, and a stock boy, with another stock boy to arrive in about thirty minutes. Terry had to leave after showing me where the time clock was so he could attend church service at eight thirty, but he said he would be back at one. I had to ask the other cashier how to log into a register because, as the manager, I was allowed to do whichever thing I wanted; either be a cashier, help stock, or watch the security cameras, which Terry described as ‘The most boring task I have ever done in my life’ so I decided I’ll do what I can to avoid doing that. The day went by pretty smoothly, although I had to stop a lady at the doors because Tabitha, the cashier, thought the lady might have grabbed a couple candy bars when she turned around to break a hundred. She actually had and willingly gave them back. I had to go to the office to write up a report on the attempted theft, something I have to do with every injury, shoplift, etc. after that I had two hours left on my shift so I just hung out in the office with Terry for most of it because at that point the second cashier had arrived which was able to hold the flow of customers pretty well. Right before I was supposed to go to lunch, though, one of the stock boys, a seventeen year old stoner kid named Tyler, dropped a bottle of bleach on the floor, which was fun because I had to make sure nothing went in his eyes or his mouth, help them clean the mess up, and, of course, write another incident report. I went to lunch thirty minutes late. There was a twenty minute period at three where I had to go out and help in the third of four checkout lanes but that was the last major event of my work day.

That night went much more smoothly. I went to the library to create a free library membership and check out a couple books. I wasn’t about to risk turning on my TV again. I checked out three books. One, about store management so I could freshen up a bit since I had been out of college for a while. Pet Sematary by Stephen King, one of my all time favorite books, and a short book called Dead Connection by some guy named Vincent V Cava. I had never heard of him but the cover looked interesting so I thought I would give it a try. For the span of recent events, horror books seemed very fitting. Maybe it would help me mentally prepare for the potential coming onslaught of hauntings. But the Hunchback didn’t come back. Not that night, or the next morning. Monday resulted in no special events either, Tyler didn’t spill anything although he nearly dropped a big box full of egg cartons. After work Terry and Meera invited me over to their house for dinner. I found myself beginning to feel safe and settled, seemingly finding my place in the world. I went back to my motel room that night and fell asleep easily; no melatonin, no Hunchback, and of course, no tv.

I woke up ready to celebrate the one year anniversary of the last time I saw the Hunchback. It had been a pretty good year for me. I was steadily making nine hundred dollars a week as the manager of Shores Grocery Stores, I had finished paying off my debt to the motel a few months ago. I had also gotten my own small apartment with the help of Terry, and my life finally seemed to be going up for once. I went over to my desk that I never actually used as a desk, instead using it as a prop for a medium-ish fish tank and fed the few fish I kept in the tank. “Morning boys.” I said as if they could hear and understand me. I grabbed a shower, threw on an old Black Flag t-shirt and a pair of shorts, and made my way down to my car, which was now a 2008 Honda Civic, thank you Terry for co-signing so I could actually afford it, and hopped in, on my way out to enjoy my day off. The sun was bright, and it was significantly warmer than last autumn. I threw on the knock-off RayBans I had gotten at a Dollar General, put the car in reverse, and headed out to the library. I had a couple books I had to return that were about to go late. The only other real plan for today was to meet up at a bar with a couple friends later that night to celebrate today. No, I wasn’t trying to relapse, as far as they were aware I was actually celebrating sobriety, but they didn’t question why I chose that spot. It was called Lucky’s and was my favorite place to eat. Terry didn’t drink and he introduced me to it. According to him, Lucky’s has the best food in Jackson, apart from his wife. And honestly, I have to agree. When Terry first took me there I ordered a burger, expecting it to be mediocre at best. In a word, mouthwatering. Apparently they have some sort of agreement with a local cattle rancher, and they get super fresh meat, so every burger they make is super flavorful and juicy. I used to date a girl while in college and she had convinced me to try veganism, it wasn’t bad but I am so glad that we didn’t work out. The signature “Lucky Burger” is something everyone needs to try at least once in their life.

The celebration was great. The guys told me to take a few shots, I aggressively refused; at one point I was willing to leave when they told me it was just water in a shot glass, not vodka, which was relieving and I happily took it from them after a good laugh. I still kind of wanted to punch a guy named Tavon, who I had met at the library, because it was his idea, but it was a good joke. It was a great night otherwise. We toasted shot glasses of Coca-Cola to my sobriety, after which Ethan, the opening stock boy who had just turned twenty-one, said that next time we come here I’m going to be his sober ride home. I laughed and told him to shut up as he downed his shot of Coke. Overall I made a few memories and had fun with my friends. I began to feel as if the Hunchback would never come back. And just as I began to feel that way, it did. In full force.

After the celebration dinner, I walked into my apartment to find one of my windows broken. I wasn’t too worried about it though, probably just some of the apartment complex kids trying to seem cool to their friends. The next day, however, it got more aggressive. When I came home from work I found all three of my fish out of their tank, on the floor, dead. I wouldn’t say I was distraught by it but I was very upset. These guys had kept me company for the last seven months. Before I let myself start watching tv again there were times when I would get bored and I would just sit at my desk and watch these guys swim around their tank, feeling jealous that they had nothing to worry about or be afraid of. Later that day I called Terry and Ethan and we held a small funeral for my fish. Even Ethan got up and said something, which surprised me because he’s not much of an animal person, but he apparently thought my fish were cool. I later learned that the reason he thought my fish were cool was because sometimes when he would come over, he would smack their tank and watch them scurry. The next few days were marred by nightmares of the Hunchback. And they were extremely vivid. Many of them were of it chasing me down darkened and dimly lit hallways. But there were a few of them where it would actually catch me, it would pin me on the ground and start eating me alive. It would start at my legs and chew all of the flesh off, then it would go to my arms and then chew all of the flesh from my chest, somehow I would still be alive, and the pain was excruciating. Finally it would bite my head off and I would wake up in a bed that was soaked in sweat. These dreams were constant. At one point I had enough and didn’t let myself sleep for three days straight. When I got to work on the third day Terry looked at me and called me over.

“Are you sick, Jordan?”

“No, I feel fine.” I lied. I hate lying to Terry but I didn’t want him to think I had relapsed in some way.

“Well you look like you haven’t slept for days.” He didn’t say this as an exaggeration or some sort of guess. Over the past year Terry and I had gotten to know each other very well, so he definitely knew I hadn’t slept. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

I don’t like telling Terry no so I simply said “Maybe.”

“Let’s talk about it.” He said, and before he gave me a chance to reply he grabbed my arm and pulled me into his office. He sat me down in the same chair I had my interview in and looked me up and down. “What’s wrong?”

I sighed and began telling him everything, the appearances of the Hunchback last year, the nightmares, my window and the mystery of my fishes’ deaths. Terry sat back in his chair thinking for a couple minutes.

“So….?” I said after some time.

“Well, my guess is that, since it’s been a year since you last saw this Hunchback creature of yours, your subconscious is probably scared of it coming back again, and is manifesting that fear in your nightmares.” These were some of the biggest words I had ever heard Terry say over the past year I had known him, so it took me a bit to process what he had said. But he was right. It was the only rational explanation for all of this. “Now, I don’t know if I can be much help here, I’m no psychologist or anything. But what I can say is that when you get home tonight, get some sleep. You need it. Now get on out there, we need someone at register two.”

I got home that night after working a late shift, and decided to watch some TV during dinner, but I couldn’t find the remote. I figured it was probably under the couch and I didn’t feel like getting on the floor to retrieve it, so I just ate a quiet dinner and went to bed. That night, I had the worst night yet. It wasn’t a nightmare but when I woke up, there were three giant claw marks in my shirt, and through all of my bed sheets, both above and underneath me. I screamed at the top of my lungs as I ripped my shirt off. “What the fuck?” I cried to no one. I immediately called Terry, and he showed up a few minutes later. I showed him my shirt and the bed, hoping he could have some sort of advice or suggestion. The first thing he did was look at me out of the corner of his eye, and slowly say with a smirk “Did yah have a lady friend over last night?”

I glared at him and through gritted teeth said “Not the time, Terry,”

He chuckled and looked back at the bed. He took the shirt out of my hands and examined it for a few seconds. “So yah say this was the Hunchback again?”

“I mean, it has to be. There was no way this was some sort of animal. There was nothing else wrong with my apartment.”

“Has this thing ever made physical contact with yah? Has it ever touched yah?”

I had to think about this for a second but I was able to remember one incident. “Yeah… once. One night I woke up in the middle of the night in a sleep paralysis state. I saw the Hunchback in the corner of my room watching me. When it saw me wake up it slowly walked over to me, it caressed the side of my face and smiled while licking its lips. After that, it just walked away, out of my room, and closed the door. The next thing I remember, it was the morning, and I felt like I hadn’t slept at all.”

“I have an idea.” Terry said, and with that, he walked out of my apartment, got in his truck, and left. He was back within ten minutes and when he came back inside and asked me, “Have you ever shot a gun before?”

“Uh… yeah.” A half lie. When I was little, for a couple years, my dad decided to put me in Cub Scouts, I wasn’t very good at it. One year, at summer day camp, they decided to let the younger kids try the BB guns. Easy enough to say, I sucked at it, bad. I never once was able to hit the target. I did, somehow, manage to shoot my scout master in the right butt cheek. Safe to say they didn’t let me touch the guns after that, probably a good idea for an eight year old. Terry handed me a Sig Sauer P220, it was all black with a beautiful wooden grip.

“If that thing comes back again, shoot it in the face, after that everything should be fine, except for a potential hole in your ceiling.”

“I guess I’ll try my best but I'm a terrible shot.”

“How… how do yah miss from point blank range?” Terry asked in befuddlement.

I shrugged. “Guess I’m just full of surprises, Boss.”

That night I couldn’t sleep at all, not for a lack of trying. It was either the awkwardness of having a gun under my pillow, or the fear of what happened the night before. I just layed on my bed, watching the ceiling fan slowly spin, too scared to look around and see if it had come back again. If it did, the Hunchback made no attempts to make any more physical contact. When the sun started to come up I decided to get up and make a pot of coffee. I looked at one of the security cameras I had set up the night before, hoping I hadn’t spent two hundred bucks for nothing. Suddenly, a loud, ear piercing screech erupted in my kitchen, I covered my ears and crumpled to the floor. The glass cup on my kitchen counter shattered. Like an opera singer singing a high C to a wine glass. The oven door glass flew over me and I got cut a lot. The lightbulb fell out of the ceiling, and shattered on the ground. My blender fell off the counter and also shattered on the ground on my other side. Then my watch shattered, slicing open the top of my wrist. Suddenly my cabinet slammed open, as if flung by an invisible hand, glass came flowing out of it from my now shattered cups and plates, sending a new layer of sharp shards all over myself and the floor. The coffee pot went next, spilling boiling coffee all over the place. I didn’t get hit by much of it but what did get me still hurt like a bitch. And then it ended. The sound was gone as quickly as it came. I was bleeding all over, I was barefoot and I was surrounded by hundreds of tiny shards of glass. I didn’t want to move to not risk cutting my feet on the glass, but I quickly decided that my arms were already cut enough so I proceeded to sweep the glass out of the way with my forearms and slowly crawl my way over to the back left corner of my kitchen, meanwhile getting blood all over the vinyl floor. I checked the security camera. The lens was cracked but it was still recording. Which meant it had recorded everything, with sound thanks to a small microphone hole in the top right hand corner. I took the camera down and removed the micro SD card. I put it in the zipper pocket of my cargo shorts, and crawled out of my kitchen, getting more blood on the floor. I stood up when I made my way to my living room. “That’s gonna suck to clean up.” I muttered to myself. I got a shower to clean off the blood, wrapped my left wrist in a bandage where my watch had sliced it open, put on a new change of clothes, took the old ones to the dumpster, and drove to Terry’s house to show him the footage.

“Well I’ll be damned…” was Terry’s response. “What happened?”

“I’ll give you three guesses.”

“Oh right, the Hunchback. I guess you’re not crazy after all.”

“Wow. Thanks.” I said with fake enthusiasm. I was just relieved I finally had some proof of that fact, even if I felt like I could only show it to Terry.

“I didn’t think it was anything supernatural, I thought yah were just trying to play some kind of joke on me.” I stared at Terry in disbelief.

“Do you really think I would ruin my favorite Black Flag shirt and my bed sheets just to mess with you?”

“Well… I mean yah did call me and tell me the store was robbed.”

“Oh shit.” I had done that. It was a slow night about four months ago. I had just let myself start watching TV again and I had watched Pulp Fiction on AxsTV, which gave me the idea to pull a prank on Terry. I had counted the cash from the registers, and told the closing cashier Tracee to hide the money in the corner behind the drink cooler. After which I called Terry and said the store had been held up at gunpoint and the thief had gotten away with nine grand. Terry was at the store in five minutes, which means he definitely sped and went through some red lights, since his house is ten minutes away from my apartment, which is four minutes away from the store. Tracee and I were literally on the floor laughing. I am surprised neither of us got fired that night. But I digress. I looked at Terry and asked “Got any ideas?”

“How can I? Up until a minute ago I didn’t believe that something like this could exist. The only thing I have are some guns and a hunting’ knife and I’m not sure if they would be effective.”

“Probably more effective than sitting on our hands. We have to try something. I mean, I don’t know how long I can take stuff like today, I’ll probably die if it keeps going this way.”

“Do you have any idea why it’s targeting you?”

“I don’t know. But I don’t want it, not any more. We need to somehow get this thing to leave me alone, or kill it, or something.”

“I do have one idea but it will take a lot of prep time.”

“Ok, what's that?” I asked, hopeful.

“Yah like camping?”

A week later, Terry and I were trekking through the woods behind his house looking for a spot to have a camp out with an indefinite ending. The plan was for Terry to teach me how to shoot a gun, and that we would be camping outside until the Hunchback tried to come after me, then we would shoot and kill it. Simple plan? Not so much, like I said. I’m a terrible shot. Terry didn’t realize just how bad I was until the first time he tried to give me a lesson. He stood me two feet in front of a tree, I raised the gun, fired, and missed. “Oh dear Lord in heaven.” I hear Terry mumble over my shoulder. It took two weeks for Terry to finally get me hitting the tree somewhat consistently. About one third or so of the time I would hit the tree. We wasted hundreds of rounds on that damn tree but Terry had an arsenal, given that he basically lived in the countryside. He had three rifles, two shot guns, and five pistols. Way too much for both of us to use, so I just kept the Sig Sauer and Terry’s hunting knife. I left everything else to Terry. We camped out about an acre from Terry’s house for about a month. We slowly began to lose hope that we would see the Hunchback again when out of nowhere the nightmares started again. And they were bad. I mean three letter organization torture bad. There were dreams where the Hunchback would gouge my eyes out and rip out my tongue. Others where it would rip off all my toenails and fingernails one by one and then pull out my each of teeth. Some were of the Hunchback using its nails to saw through the skin at the base of my fingers, all the way down to the bone and then rip them the rest of the way off. In a few the Hunchback pinned me to the ground face down, grabbed my hair, and ripped the skin from my head with its claw, nail things. It was scalping me alive, leaving blood to ooze into my eyes, leaving me practically blind for the rest of the dream. Others were so bad I don’t even want to think about them ever again. And they all felt real. I felt all of the pain and every single time I would pray that I would just pass out from the pain but I never did. It got bad enough that pain began to linger even hours after waking up. One day I tried to pick up the P220 and my fingers didn’t move for a second. When I finally managed to wrap my fingers around the handle I immediately screamed in pain as all of the nerve endings went into a split second of shockwave pain, almost like they were being reminded that they were once each cut off and tortured away from my hand on many occasions. Terry ran out of the tent thinking I was being attacked by an animal, despite at this point some of them should begin hibernating. I had crumpled to my knees. I noticed my hand was numb, then slowly went back to that tingly feeling you get when you’ve slept on it weirdly, and then it was back to normal. I slowly became aware that my hair was matted to my face with sweat, I looked like I had been in a rainstorm. As I stood up I flung my head backwards and slicked my shoulder length hair back like I normally had it. Suddenly there was a brief rustling in the trees around our campsite. I wasn’t sure but I was fairly certain I saw the Hunchback. Pistol in my right hand, I grabbed the knife with my left hand, put it in the sheath on my belt, and ran after the shape in the darkness. I ran for several minutes following it through left and right turns. Suddenly the shape rounded a thick tree. I tried to follow but it had disappeared. I gripped the gun with my both hands, sneaking around like a cop in a dangerous house that hasn’t been cleared yet. I slunk around snapping the gun in each direction, tree to tree, trying to find it. On a gut feeling, I looked up, and saw it perched on a tree branch, like a bird. I swiped my hands up and fired at hit. I missed five shots in a row but I knew I was close to getting it.

I was tired and sore, which led to me not feeling like chasing it. I wasn’t sure how far out I was from camp and I didn’t want to get any more lost. I just stood there, watching it jump from limb to limb, further and further away. Suddenly there was a hand on my shoulder. I whipped the pistol around to find the barrel of the gun pointed directly in the face of Terry.

“Terry!” I said, breathless. My heart was racing and I was still pointing the gun at him.

Terry slowly used the back of his hand to move the gun away from his nose. “What in heaven did you run off like that for?”

I stared at the ground. “I saw it. I fuckin’ saw it. It was there and I had it but I fuckin’ missed. I fucking missed it, man.” I was practically screaming that last part in frustration. As I said that I put the safety on and pitched the gun at the dry dirt like it was a baseball. It bounced and stopped a couple feet away. I looked up at Terry, tears welling up in my eyes. Terry grabbed my shoulders again.

“Hey, you’ll get it next time.”

At this point I broke and tears started coming down my face one at a time. “Who even says there will be a next time?”

“There will be, and we’ll be ready.”

“Yeah, but what if the guns don’t do anything? What if bullets don’t hurt it and knives do nothing? What if all of our preparations mean nothing?" I fell to the ground, burying my face in my knees, tears streaming down my face. “What do I do if we can’t kill it and the rest of my life is tormented by this freak.” I stopped and pointlessly tried to catch my breath. “Why shouldn’t I just give up now and go home? Return to San Francisco and just end it all. I’m starting to feel like that might be best.” Terry kneeled down and put his arm around me.

“You mean move back in with your parents?”

I scoffed. “Yeah right. Like I could do that.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t! During the alcohol abuse I stole two hundred bucks from them and they didn’t know why. They didn’t know I was addicted to booze and they badically disowned me. They knew something was wrong but they thought it was drugs. They thought I had stolen money from them to buy heroin or cocaine or something. They gave up on me which sent me spiraling even worse. I had no one to turn to at that point and that’s when the Hunchback first showed up.”

“Well, yah got me now,” Terry said looking out into the trees. “So you’re not alone anymore. I’m here for yah, and I promise yah that I always will be. We’ve been through a lot together and I don’t know how I could manage all the stuff going on without yah. Meera really likes yah too.”

I sniffed trying to get control of myself and looked at him. He was smiling, which was odd given the circumstances, but it felt weirdly comforting to have him there with me. “Thanks, Boss. I really appreciate everything you’re doing for me.”

“Meera and I only ever had one daughter. So to me, you’re kind of like a son that I never had. It’s nice.”

I smiled and put my arm around him too. We sat there for a few more minutes, watching the sun lower in the sky before Terry got up and said, “Come on, we need to make our way back to camp before the sun goes down.” I stood up and he led me back since I had no idea where we even were. When we got back it wasn’t a very pretty sight. There’s no way for me to confirm or say with certainty that it was the Hunchback, but all of the food that we had was unpackaged, removed from their respective containers, and thrown in the dirt. We had nothing left but the tent. Terry and I had brought four wheelers out and parked them a few yards away, he went over to them and examined them. They seemed fine so we decided that we would head out tomorrow and buy some more food to bring back to camp. We went to sleep hungry but we toughed our way through it and had breakfast with Meera in the morning. That afternoon we brought some metal shooting targets to the campsite, and set them up in a nearby clearing. Terry used them to help me make my aim more precise, so that next time I would have a better chance of actually hitting the Hunchback. It didn’t really help much but I hit it a few more times than I thought I would.

That night went by smoothly, I had a bit of trouble falling asleep, but the next morning we both woke up to a howling sound, like the one I heard coming out of the motel TV a year ago. I jumped up and grabbed the knife, which I kept next to me at all times just in case.

“What in tarnation kind of animal is that?” Terry asked groggy and still half asleep.

“It’s not an animal.” I said putting on my belt and the sheath of the knife. “It’s the Hunchback. I’ve heard it make that sound before. It’s nearby. I know it.”

Terry got up and threw on his concealed carry harness. We had both decided to wear normal clothes to sleep in in case the Hunchback showed up in the middle of the night and we needed to chase after it. I unzipped the door of the tent and saw the Hunchback staring at us from the woods. I grabbed the Sig Sauer from the nearby folding table and took aim. I fired and missed it by inches. I ran out of the tent and took pursuit as the Hunchback started to flee. Terry was just a couple feet behind me as we both chased after the creature while it slunk its way through the woods. It’s not a fast creature, but its long legs helped it gain distance quickly. We chased it for a few minutes until it disappeared from view. It was the same as last time. I turned a tree and it was just gone. Terry caught up with me, out of breath.

Suddenly a thud came from behind us and we both turned to see the Hunchback lunging towards me, mouth open, claws out. I tried to dodge, but was just out of time. I put my arm up and its claws sank deep into my right forearm. We tussled on the ground, rolling over and over a few times. When we stopped it was on top of me, still scratching at my forearm. Clawing chunks of skin off. It bit down into my side and blood came gushing out. I screamed in pain as best I could when it brought its fist down into my chest. I heard a snap as one of my ribs broke, and a sharp pain in my side became more increasingly prevalent. Terry ran over to try and help me but it pierced its claws directly into his chest. When it took them out blood came rushing from the holes. I finally managed to move my hand down to my waist and grab the knife on my belt. I swung my arm up and stabbed the beast directly in the neck. It screamed and jerked back, breaking the blade away from the hilt of the knife. It took off in the direction of the clearing where we had set up our target practice. I got up and limped over towards Terry. Kneeling next to him, I grabbed the bottom of his head and lifted it up.

“Go on, go after it.” He groaned.

“No, I can’t leave you.” I tried to tell him but he cut me off before I could finish.

“I’ll be fine. Just go.”

“But Terry”

He gave me a weak shove. “Go! I’ll be fine. Go kill that thing, for both of us.” I stood up and looked down at him, considering if I should leave him here, possibly to die. He looked up at me and screamed, “Go on now! Get!”

I turned and left him there, lying on a bed of leaves praying that he would survive. I ran in the direction of the clearing. I pulled the gun from my waist band and cocked it, ready to end my mystery once and for all. I pulled it up, arms extended, like I had seen in cop shows before. The sky was cloudy and gray. It looked like it was about to rain, and it would be a bad one. Mississippi winter rain again. This was the type of southern rain that doesn't stop for a couple of days. I could feel that I didn't have long before it would start. A raindrop fell on my forehead as I turned and entered the clearing. The Hunchback was just standing there. Staring into the sky as if in a trance. I halted at the edge of the trees. I felt like I was in some sort of Doom game.

“Hey, you fuck!” I screamed at it. It turned and looked at me, licking its lips like normal. Rain began to fall even more and I took a couple steps forward. It didn’t move, and I took one more step forward. Then it came running towards me, its arms falling behind it, making it look kind of like Naruto. It tried to swipe its claw at me, but I dodged to the right, rolling underneath its swinging hand. I shot it in the shoulder and its arm went limp. It screamed with a mix of pain and fury as I got up and retreated a few steps backward. I took another shot and just grazed its leg. It roared again and came back at me again. I waited for it to get closer, to make sure I could hit the shot but when my gun jammed, my heart dropped out of my chest, and the next thing I knew the Hunchback was on top of me again, gnawing the flesh from my chest. I was starting to see my ribs. There were at least three of them that were broken. I was screaming and hollering in pain and piece after piece of flesh was ripped away from my body. It was excruciating. My throat started going hoarse and my screams got quieter. The world started going black and I felt myself slipping in and out of consciousness. Then suddenly a gunshot rang out over the trees and the Hunchback stopped eating me. There was a new gash in my forehead, which was streaming blood into my eye, so I was running half blind. I got myself to sit up, propped up on my right arm. Which was missing skin and bleeding all over the dry ground.

The gunshot had come from Terry, who had made his way to the clearing. He apparently had unholstered one of his Springfield 911 9mms and shot the Hunchback directly in what would be the spine, but it had done nothing to stop it. It knocked Terry to the ground and ripped into his leg. Terry was screaming and howling in pain. The Hunchback taunted us by matching his howl and then it laughed, or at least I think it laughed. I wasn’t really sure if it even could. I pulled my gun up to eye level, and prayed to Terry’s God that I might be able to hit it from this distance, just this once. I closed my eyes, and pulled the trigger. Bang. When I opened my eyes again the Hunchback was slumped over on its side, a bullet hole in its head, and Terry was crawling his way over towards me. I didn’t have much time left. I could tell. I was weak and bleeding a lot. The pain in my side was unbearable and it was getting hard to breathe. As he got closer I shakily muttered, “Terry, I. Terry.” And then the world went black.

The next time I opened my eyes I was in a hospital, sun shining through the window, with a breathing tube in my mouth. Pretty much my whole body was wrapped in bandages and my left arm was in a cast. I closed my eyes again and when I opened them, the breathing tube was in my mouth, there was an IV in my left arm, my right arm and chest were still in bandages, and it was nighttime. I looked over to the opposite side from the window and Terry was sitting next to me, in a wheelchair. I tried to sit up but was shot with pain throughout my entire upper body.

“Hey hey, take it easy.” Terry said softly, putting his hand lightly on my chest. “Nice to see yah awake again.”

“How…. How am I still alive?” I muttered, trying to find the strength to move my mouth and speak.

“Grace of God. Best explanation for everything.”

“At least someone was on our side against that thing.” I muttered. “What happened to you? Are you stuck in that thing for good?”

“No no. They had to strap me in this thing because I kept trying to walk before the doctor said I could. They finally gave me this thing so that I could move around and come visit yah.”

“At least you’re not too bad.”

“Oh yeah? Tell that to my leg.” He gestured towards his left leg, which was still wrapped in bandages. “They say I’ll probably need a cane after this but I’ll walk again.”

I leaned back, further into the bed. “Yeah? And what did they say about me?”

“You’ve been out for five days. They said yah likely wouldn’t live to see another day. They gave 200 to 1 odds. But here yah are.”

“Damn.”

“Yah were in pretty bad shape. Yah had five broken ribs, and a puncture in your lungs. When yah stabbed that thing in the neck and it jerked back it both broke your wrist and dislocated your shoulder. Your right arm was missing most of the skin as was your chest. They had to give yah three skin grafts to fix that. I really am happy that yah woke up. I don’t know what I would have done with myself if yah had died.”

“You wouldn’t need to feel bad. I’m that one that dragged you into this mess man. Did I kill it?”

“Pretty sure. That was some good shooting form yah. I told them where the body was. They’re making their way down to it now to get it. I had to show it the footage from those video cameras of yours that we set up in the campsite.”

“Good. I’m glad it’s all over.”

“I’m gonna leave you for a bit. Go talk to Meera and tell her you’re awake. She’ll be really excited to see yah again.”

“Hey, what happened when we got here?”

“Meera brough us, that’s what took me so long. I had called her and told her to be prepared to take us here in five minutes. When we got here she told them that we had been attacked by a bear. When I woke up the next day I told the hospital I wanted to talk to the department of agriculture. I told them everything and showed them the videos. You should have seen the looks on their faces.” He said laughing. I tried to laugh but it made my chest hurt. Terry rolled out of my door and I turned my head back to look into the ceiling.

And that brings us to today. It’s been five years since then and I haven’t seen that thing since. There’s no way for me to confirm that it’s dead because the DOA never found the body. I can say though that all of the torment and nightmares and sleep paralysis, everything has ceased, and I am happier now than I have ever been. About three years ago I met and began dating a girl named Clarissa. She’s a registered nurse and actually works at the hospital I was in after the attack. We learned that she apparently changed my bandages once. Small world I guess. She has a Catholic background and even though she’s not really practicing she still goes to Mass on Christmas. I joined her last year. It was an interesting experience. We moved in together about a year ago, and life has been smooth sailing. We just had our first child, a girl which we named Theressa Anne Belmont. We call her Terry for short. Named after Terry and mother Teresa. She’s absolutely gorgeous. She inherited my green eyes, and Clarissa’s black hair. She has such tiny hands. I could talk about her all day but I am digressing. She’s my whole world. Both of them are. I still work at the store, but I have been “promoted” to managing the newly opened second one. Yes, Terry and Meera finally managed to open a second one, three years behind schedule. We actually asked Terry and Meera to be our daughters' godparents and they happily agreed. They treat her as if she’s their own granddaughter. We take her over there at least once a month, if not more. They absolutely adore her. I don’t blame them. I’m digressing again.

I’ve told Claire, my nickname for Clarissa, everything. I was able to make a copy of our footage and I have the scars, so she believes me about it all. She’s actually the one that convinced me to write all of this. I don’t really have a point in writing it other than to journal my experience. I guess if any of you have a problem with that thing, if you want, you can message me and we can talk about it. I could give you some advice. Maybe tell you what type of rounds would do the most damage. Armour piercing probably. I really hope I don’t get messages about this thing, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. But if I do, I’m more than willing to help. If you, or anyone you know, has ever encountered this thing, just know two things, it’s called the Hunchback, and you’re not alone. My name has been Jordan Aaron Belmont. And this was my story.

[thetadispatcher]

Peter returned the nod, it was the best thing he could think of to do to show non-verbally that he acknowledged the acceptance of his apology.

He shifted his attention back to Rook and BeeBee, feeling he should better explain the URS12's existence as it was different from other android animals. "Actually no, she was meant for a zoo. Some android animals are made to replace the need for the real thing in zoos, that way the real animal can stay in the wild where it belongs and the android one can be used to teach children about them, without the need for training and the risk they still might harm someone. They even make androids of extinct animals, just so people can see what one would've looked like well alive instead of just some taxidermy." He felt it was a good enough explanation of what BeeBee's true purpose had been, she had been made as a learning tool for a zoo that Zlatko had somehow managed to get his hands on.

BeeBee was the only android that was unable to tell him how she came into Zlatko's possession, so he was left to come up with theories of how the man had managed to get something that was never meant to be owned by the general public.

BeeBee pressed her nose into Rook's hand, chuffing at her before flopping onto the floor to make herself easier to pet.

Peter moved back into Daniel as the floor cracked, the android reacted by quickly wrapping his arm around the young human's chest to catch him. An apologetic look flashed across his face as his LED turned red for a moment as the rough contact had caused Peter to flinch in pain, but he let Daniel hold him as he knew the android didn't hurt him on purpose.

His hand shot up in surprise to grip the one Daniel had splayed on his chest, though he calmed quickly upon seeing what had shot from the void was just a lemon. He felt the PL600 shift behind him, but he didn't react as he knew Daniel was likely scanning him to make sure he was okay. Dan did it to him frequently enough that he could recognize the action without looking, and unlike other humans it didn't bug him, since he knew it was just a way for an android to confirm to themselves a human was in good health.

Peter let go of Daniel's hand after a moment, signaling to the android it was safe to let him go so he could help unpack the new computers. Daniel easily recognized them as to be similar to the ones at the police station, but it was clear they were designed to handle the tasks Brent and Peter would be using them for. Zlatko's laptops had done the job the best they could, but they weren't made with the intention of fixing and printing parts for androids, it took a lot more power to repair an android then it did to mutilate it.

Daniel watched Peter, glancing at Sixty as the RK800 entered the room. He knew the android was curious about all the traffic in and out of the basement as usually it was never this busy in the house, so naturally Sixty had to find out what all the excitement was about. He turned his attention to the human as Sixty crowded Peter to get a look at what was in the crate.

Daniel nodded as he watched the two, knowing it was better to keep a close eye on Sixty and Peter as the two had a tendency to get each other riled up which lead to one of them doing something stupid most of the time. "Most androids I've met deviated due to being mistreated by their owners, which usually resulted in the human winding up dead. Dan and Vincent are the rare ones where mistreatment had nothing to do with them deviating. One was worried about the human he had a deep bond with, and the other because he'd never been left alone before." Vincent deviating seemed simple on the surface, but it was just as impactful as Dan's had been on his personality.

"His behavior is a very exciting learning experience for me, I'm still surprised by how he can work himself up over something like chess." Daniel laughed a bit, he'd never seen a human loose their mind over something like chess, and Peter did it in a way that was amusing instead of annoying.

"Everyone has something they need to work on." He turned his head as Dan rejoined them with Vincent in tow. He was surprised to find the AP700 messing with his damaged ear as it was one of his self soothing habits to trace the blue cracks, mapping out every imperfection with his finger tips seemed to distract him just enough to stay put instead of running away from whatever was upsetting him.

Strasky wasn't far behind, he was giving Vincent a worried look as he tried his best to figure out what had caused the android to be so anxious.

Vincent was quickly tucking himself under the desk and into a corner, his red LED lighting up the darkened space as he busied himself with the plush toy he was stitching together.

"I thought he could benefit from being around strangers for a bit, help him get used to it." Dan explained, even if the AP700 was hiding he felt it was still progress as the skittish android hadn't tried to get away and flee instantly.

The two PL600s turned to look at Peter and Sixty as the two accidentally butted heads as they'd reached for the same thing in the crate. The RK800 twitched slightly as the damaged part of his forehead was jostled before he grabbed out something else, so he wouldn't knock skulls with the human again.

Dan watched as Sixty and Peter did their best to not trip over each other as they started setting up one of the new computers. "Sometimes I wonder were the rest of the RK800s went. Connor is 51, and Sixty is well 60, so that leaves a good number unaccounted for." He felt Cyberlife likely destroyed them after the revolution, and somehow Sixty was sent to the junkyard with the only RK900 instead of going straight to the crusher.

Dan shook his head then looked at Daniel, who returned the eye contact. "I don't know who's eyes are freakier. Yours or Nines." Daniel chuckled as Dan gave him an unamused look. "There is such a thing as too blue, Dan."

The android nodded, accepting the apology. It was easy to forget he used to be one of the many who had to endure Zlatko's experiments, before he was able to escape. That wretched human was the only responsible for the irreversible damage to his memory.

He had vowed to never return, but he had to rethink that decision when it turned out someone else was living on the property and they were working with androids.

"Oh, so somebody wanted a really fancy plushie." Still, Rook was delighted to have a chance to pet a polar bear. She approached the way she approached dragons, with one hand stretched out in front of her, fingers loosely curled. "Are there android kids too?"

Her focus remained on that, even as a crack began forming on the floor, before it split open to make way to a pool of inky blackness.

"Do not panic. I asked for express delivery." Willow said as various crates emerged in pristine condition.

Bishop got closer to examine the anomaly, only for the void to shoot something at him. The projectile was swiftly caught before it could hit him in the face and he looked down to stare at a lemon. Somehow, he wasn't surprised by this.

"Your order has arrived." the agent said dryly. He started ripping the crates open with his bare hands. Having heard these new computers would sensibly speed up the process, he figured they should set them up right away.

And while at it, he would gladly have a look at what passed for commercial use machines around here. If asked he'd point out they should check whether Willow had ordered the right items to be stolen.

"Makes sense. At least you got a funnier guy to watch now and I think his brother needs to talk to somebody. If deviating makes androids want to hurt themselves and he had to be in the middle of the revolution, Dan probably has some feelings to address."

[hanzi83]

Manufactured Establishment Heel Turn and Outrage

The last blog I touched upon the Trump town hall a little bit but now that a few days have passed, and I have seen the discourse and the half ass analysis from supposed smart people in the “progressive” space has been one of the most infuriating things on the planet. If you hate monitor I say and write, that is like music to your ears to know a mentally ill man is being infuriated, because when “important” people pay attention to your shit even if the general public doesn’t know I exist, they get upset with me pointing out the probabilities of the direction of some of these personalities and I will admit it is disheartening a bit to see people who were respected and seemed principled now find a way to crossover to the side that is winning the narratives, they can promote shit online about how the democrats are scared and they are trying to suppress shit so no other candidate can get a chance, but if they didn’t want us to know about this, this would not be out there, in my personal opinion, if I look at this world like a sports entertainment company and see how it is implemented into the political discourse, more people get recruited into this system and become a lot more mentally unwell, they are addicted to the need to entertain, they are addicted to trying to stay relevant in any way possible that they will become soulless caricatures trying to insist their brand of comedic banter between mediocre hosts is what is gonna do it in the long run. The way I view this sports entertainment system is that there are people who own their respective countries, and then book the politicians who are more sports entertainers now more so than politicians, and if the bookers and owners are essentially right wing, and the system by default is a right wing trajectory system with different world champions, baby faces and heels, establishment baby faces and heels, they will book a supposed babyface to say some good shit and maybe try to do some good shit, but the company will still have you pump out heel tendencies that we are supposed to blindly forget but then the “cynical” right wing types will call out an establishment guy or gal and think the other bought off politician and public figure is the one pointing at the truth about the system, so automatically he or she is seen as the heel who the establishment supposedly hates, but you constantly hear about them, they are constantly being used to make a lot of fucking money even though they reflect what the system really wants, but we think because we are online and pointing out the obvious errors and the dumbed down shit, we think we are actually thinking for ourselves. The longer a lot of you want to pretend the online shit is just as mainstream as the MSM itself, the better we will be but people don’t want that, they want more people to suffer and continue to get worse, whether it is powerless cogs in the system to have piled on abuse mentally or physically or whether it is to cross over to the elitist side where your mental illness will be protected because you are around other mentally ill powerful people who are so rich and powerful, but their healing will never happen and they will get worse and make other people’s lives worse because they refuse to admit what they are. I never seen so many people who have made it and become a lot more rich still have such anger issues, they can organize a fucking cult to make things worse. Like I have said, eventually everyone eventually throws on an NWO shirt, only to be a background player to Hulk Hogan, sure you will stand there in glee as he pretends to play his title belt like a fucking guitar. So we have to now pretend the internet is an underground as it was in the 90’s, even though I have always felt the internet was created for the purpose of building a new mainstream, and maybe there were genuine opinions and ideas being expressed but in 2023 those days are long and gone and now everyone is a character and everyone has aspirations to just be characters. You will have a click and a cult that will tell you everything you are doing is hilarious and super interesting and then they will try to dominate the algorithm to pump your name up because it will get some kind of social currency. People think because the establishment does obvious shit, that is more on the democratic side when most of these dumbed down democrats are either falling on its face on purpose because they know it is inevitable for the world to turn into something we would’ve never thought possible, and it will be faction warfare, or they actually want the right wing heel to stand tall, and make it seem like it is only fair to hear Trump. It is a hack position to point out that he would’ve done the town hall somewhere else. You know what is the most disgusting shit on the planet and I know the people I am talking about are reading this because they are mentally ill mafia like people who don’t care about the people agreeing with them because that is how it is supposed to be, someone like me who is kind of pointing out how these supposed progressives have wasted everyone’s time and basically created “progressives” to then prostitute yourself to fucking invite Donald Trump on your fucking show. You know what are a soulless piece of shit, and because you can’t deal with the fact that you will no longer be a genuine human, and that any praise and stock on the rise for you will only be manufactured because you are going along with the right leaning side because you want to be protected and be a showbiz personality since the artform has been going to the right wing and it has always had right leaning fundamentalist shit in it, but now seeping into the world of politics where everything is a fucking reality show angle and everything is meant to be exploited. We have fucking mentally ill social climbers already coming up with discourse and culture wars incase Jamie Foxx dies, then it turns out he is fine and these were rumors, then they will take us on a rollercoaster and then it turns out it was a lie that he was okay, the system do this on purpose while people will pretend that random people are making up rumors, the system are the ones always in charge with what narratives are put out there, again just a personal opinion, but seeing how discourse plays out so other studio audience members can try to be part of the cast has been one of the most prostitute things on this planet. How will anyone get better if becoming “successful” in the world means you have to become this caricature that no one will really respect, you will be surrounded by other soulless ghouls who are gonna do the system’s biddings but be careful what you wish for because they will turn you into a storyline and recruit other social climbers to discredit you, if some of these online personalities can barely handle being thought leaders with limited pushback, you are gonna break down when you make it big. 

So let me say this, this whole CNN establishment heel turn is like if John Cena turned heel officially, like people always knew there were heel tendencies that existed but now we needed an official storyline way to get there, And because the MSM have given you the impression that they hated Trump and are disgusted by him the last several years, and a bunch of political shit head analysts dumbed down Trump and generalized regular people for so long and pushed them more to the right, but they get credit for shitty Trump impressions and pointing out his obvious errors he makes so we can all laugh at him being an idiot but still thinking that some of his rhetoric has been dangerous in the most cartoonish way. But it always felt like the way these people were “anti Trump” was such a hacky and dumbed down way and purposefully ignoring the corruption on the democratic side which made a bunch of propped up accounts talk about how it is easy to go after Trump but you need to go after democrats, but it is actually easy to go after democrats because a lot of the ones who get traction are basically closet republican shit but because people fall for the sports entertainment of them opposing Trump, so people think pointing out these obvious errors that are there by design, means they are actually calling shit out, because it is basically like “OH MY GOD THE DEMOCRATS ARE FUCKING UP SO I AM GONNA PRETEND I AGREE WITH SOME MAGA SHIT HEADS WHO ARE TALKIING ABOUT POLICY AND EASE MY AUDIENCE TO ACCEPT A FAR RIGHT PERSON BY EASING THEM INTO THINKING THEY ARE NOT SO BAD” and this is not a defense of the democrats, but this 90’s reboot of our society has people actually thinking that this “indepedent” and “internet” opinion is where the genuine opinions are, when it has become part of the internet. So I didn’t buy that this sudden outrage from people about Trump being given a platform officially to make it seem like “it’s fair” when it hasn’t been fucking fair from the default. It has always been right leaning and now this was CNN officially embracing the current fascist ideals of where the world is going and even though people are now being concerned too late after he got all the stream, and has been allowed to function,  those people are doing it for self preservation because whatever happens in the future and Trump will be the face of it, it will show in the history books that people did warn about this but they did it in such a way where they ignored people’s valid points about previous ideology they were espousing and the other war criminals they gave a pass to. So this was a sports entertainment heel turn for CNN and even the fact that people like TYT will act like “Oh my god he is the leading candidate, we have to listen to him” but a lot of you mother fuckers are guilty for promoting him while pretending you opposed them, you will claim not to be the establishment, but your fucking opinions are really establishment, if I knew a lot of you would end up becoming another shitty cog, I would’ve pointed out how uncharismatic a lot of you were in but because there was some genuine truth telling, I figured that is all that matters but now you are uncharismatic and taken the easy route to protect your image and relevancy and you think because you make the most half ass analysis about shit that it means you are supposed to be a thought leader and then because you can’t admit you have been frauds the entire time, you do the typical trope of a heel promo and do the “YOU PEOPLE MADE ME DO THIS, YOU MADE LEAVE THE LEFT” not because the far right wing billionaires are wagging big time money so you become another shitty personality that are a dime and dozen. Their excuse was “Well if they censor Trump, they will censor progressives” quite the Jimmy Dore level take, when they have been censoring and fucking over actual left leaning people and suppressing their voice, which you never hear as much about, you know who I hear about being suppressed all the time? The propped up figures who get nonstop air time and talked about all the time, these people who pretend they are promoting villains to want them to get theirs and pay for their crimes, you know from the get they won’t get theirs, you can keep teasing it. But you know it is basically to promote who are gonna be the talking heads in the future. Pretending Trump wasn’t already promoted for the purpose of making a lot of fucking money and social currency, you already have shown me that you are not someone who should ever be trusted. This is why sports entertainment is the most dangerous thing on the planet, you will support people who pretend they oppose the desired villain so you are still rooting for someone who probably has sex with that same villain behind the fucking scenes. But a lot of you crossing over can’t even admit you are joining the fascist side, you are so fucking cowardly about it, you have to convince yourself you are only doing the logical thing and that’s why someone like Ana Kasparian can do stories where she talked about how people were incited to do violent shit from listening to other content creators, and normally just making it an issue about “well are celebs who are regular people and play by regular rules, do they have the a responsibility of what they are putting out there, I think not, no one can force you to do anything” but if you assume that a lot of the system is a mafia system, and these propped up public figures have their own cults that are given incentive to do shit, and I have experienced it with the Stern Show people, who have instilled paranoia and talked about my demise and my death, and even monitor my thoughts and move my cursor to show they have some presence, but when someone like Ana/Cenk cover these stories, they now are of the belief of the charisma vacuum Libs of TikTok is not responsible for what people do, and it is fittinig because Ana is still butt hurt over being yelled at for her bad faith argument in a time where bills are being passed to fuck up that community, now she can basically give up her morals and principles and basically act like these people don’t have responsibility and they are just regular people and the reason I feel that Cenk/Ana and other shit heads they have created in the media space, is because a lot of the shit they report is basically kayfabed news essentially and they would be held responsible for shit they have organized and the ruse they have created, they want to do all the mentally ill things but don’t have the balls to face up to it. When you constantly talk about how your show is the only one that is keeping it real, then expect people to call you out on your subtle cowardly pivot to the right wing so you guys can be shitty celebrities who will never truly be funny but you want a cult to actually think you are even if none of it will be genuine. Your kids and family will grow up to hate you. They will claim shit like “Wouldn’t it be funny if Trump incriminates himself even more, and we can dunk on it” people have been dunking on it for the last several years, it hasn’t worked and you are now acting like “oh my god they are really scared of him” if they were really scared of him, we would’ve never heard of him to begin with. No one at CNN is outraged about this, this was just a way for them to justify why they had to embrace him. A lot of you know what you have purposefully helped amplify and use your “anti war” persona, as a way that people will think you are more credible, and would think any criticism of you would mean that it means they are pro establishment. 

This political world comes off like they booked Donald Trump to be MAGA Steve Austin, and if that is true, then I could believe the system booked Tucker Carlson as MAGA CM Punk. See this is why the snooty higher society political types will look down on wrestling because if everyone watched wrestling and could see the elements. It feels like they have trained you to think that, because a lot of wrestling fans bought into CM Punk who might have some genuine good nature to him, but since a lot of people who hype him up are more right leaning and the entertainment seeps into political shit now, it feels like the perfect place to practice this kind of shit in this artform and even with online shit, that you can manipulate people into buying into someone’s anti establishment persona despite putting over other problematic billionaires, or normalizing more edge lord like shit in the 2010’s to cater to only conspiracy people, and this is how you get guys like Tucker Carlson to come out and people will agree with his truths on some level, despite being someone who is allowed to prosper in other areas because we think that it means he is against the played out legacy establishment institutions. Not realizing they are training you into accepting someone else who wants to have power and be the only one who benefits from it. These people want to become a religion. They want to be worshipped, Trump was like an Austin because he just give everyone stunners all the time even if it was not good storytelling at times, but we all think because it was an unpredictable time with so much intensity and vitriol being put out there under the guise of anti establishment, when eventually Trump will reveal he will shake hands with whoever the Vince McMahon in this situation is. We pretend because the system says they are against them and trying to destroy them and this person comes out looking stronger at this rate, you gotta wonder if this is all being done by design and we are just filling space until we get to the climax. But basically people will excuse the behavior now and now it feels like these insiders know the dems won’t do shit, so now out of desperation people in the “left” space will give the bare minimum respect for someone calling out corporate media when most shit is probably corporate media, nothing wrong with calling out the corporate media, but I have never seen this much of a push to call them out in 2023 because by now we all know they are corrupt, and even when it is called out, it is limited and over the last decade, they have let the far right look like they are the ones in the right, and this is why they look anti establishment to their base, they made up “wokeness” and had people with bad faith acting making so sensational and over the top that people think they are being told to do shit and not to do shit and when you do that, people push back, all you gotta say is you can’t even make fun of Muslims and people will believe it, like they are not bombing the fuck out of those countries. They can push back against anything and they still feel like heroes to their side and because cynical people have not trusted the system etc, they gravitate toward Trump and let their guard down. Even people on the let side falling for the obvious sports entertainment in MAGA people hating a Trump appointee person who happened to be on the WEF, which to me feels like these people are on the same side but if MAGA people hate products and certain people, then it automatically means the dems will embrace it more, like Bill Gates is an enemy of the right wing but if I believe Gates is a villain, the right can only call him out for being associated with liberals. So it feels like even hating these people is a reality show and at a given notice when shit hits the fan, everyone will find a way to sell out. So it is amazing to me that people that think “Okay we need to have Trump on because the leftists will have a chance and it will fuck them over” yet when it comes to Trump’s victim who is being smeared by the funded accounts online, and Trump himself, so even if you don’t think his victim is as pure because she is aligned with democrats then people don’t care as much but why wouldn’t that argument of if Trump does this to her he could do it to people who are even more powerless. The way a lot of you worship your mentally ill weirdos who are rich and wealthy and then pretend you hate them is some next level sickness, and when they trot out rape and abuse cases for public consumption and it turns into another reality show, they are gonna gimmick up the story a bit where it doesn’t come off as genuine, but since we need to make public figures and their predicaments relatable to how regular people go through shit, because to me, in these situations there are people who are initiated by taking abuse, there are those that are in initiated in giving it, the people who I feel end up giving it, are ones who dealt with it in the first place but instead of getting better and making sure that doesn’t happen, we keep the cycle of abuse going. Tara Reade is another one who will be discredited even if what she went through was real, but I do feel like the only reason some embrace her in the space because in order for her trauma to be acknowledged, she would have to align with the new right leaning type. But people who think Biden wouldn’t have done that in the past are kidding themselves, I am not saying I know for sure but if I feel every high level person in the system had to go through fraternity initiations of doing dirt so they can succeed, then yeah I can believe most people have and I know that is a conclusion I am jumping to, but at the same time, I have seen the pattern of the last 15 years of more and more abuse being revealed and it turns into a intended shit show and we are all front row, I have no idea why I just quoted a Lil Wayne lyric from Uproar, but regardless it fucking rings true. But when I focus on TYT as my main example for shit, it is not to just specify them but the circles around their show and who has ended up leaving and becoming worse and now it feels like this has always been the con, even if they love to think they are just like regular people when they have been apart of the establishment, you can tell with their cookie cutter personalities where they are auditioning for these MSM gigs and then the MSM will suddenly not be so compromised because we have commentary and impressions from Cenk. Watching wrestling and seeing how they have trained you to see the world a certain way, it has become one of the most useful entertainment tools as well as comedy because everything has to be levitated by what is considered comedy. I am watching John Mulaney’s special that everyone praised because of what he went through, and I applaud him but in deeper ways because now that he has all the genuine comedy out of the way, he will be reduced to an Artie Lange or Jeff Hardy, where there is gonna be constant investment in his fuck ups until his standup becomes a really sad show, because it will be less about his comedy material, but more about that persona, Artie’s stand up was never really the best, it is impossible, because he is on a radio show 4-5 days a week exhausting all of his humor and people won’t hear every joke he makes with that much shit, how can someone in that enviroment really be good with their stand up. So Artie was a good concept for the powers to be to work that shit on. Now I see it with other comedians now. Most personalities are defined by their social media role, like Janelle Monae, who is one of the most talented and sexiest women on the planet, normally she has been kind of reserved but now she has become a social media character where she has to cater to the horny on main, I don’t mind seeing her fucking titties on my timeline, I am not gonna complain, but since everyone’s storyline arc has twists and turns, will it be revealed she was pressured to do it and then we will be made to feel bad for enjoying seeing her titties. Sometimes I think in order to make it stand out, there has to be a lot of manufactured controversy because both sides of the argument in some ways come off as fundamentalists, one side dictating how sexy and liberated one could feel, and the other side who pretends they are for liberation, are just regressive assholes who will only cosign talent if they are promoting sex. So if she wants to do it, I support it, but if she doesn’t and can’t say and we find out about it years later, then yeah I am right to be skeptical because of the constant gaslighting the discourse writers are with manipulating mentally ill people online. I am all over the fucking map because my mind is going in different directions, this is why I don’t consider myself a “writer” by traditional standards, I am too lazy to learn the rules but I want to run amok with run on sentences.

I just hate this idea that they are presenting Trump like they are afraid to beat him when they are not even being booked to be allowed to beat him, it looks like they are trying because you think “leaks” online mean that they really didn’t want you to see the information, when it is designed as an excuse for why a narrative changes. This is why the internet has been useful in helping manufacturing consent because everyone on it wants to pretend these conversations were just some random interactions and exchanging of ideas, and sure everyone starts that way but the more they are entrenched into this fucking world, they are being recruited through the internet and now it is at an all time level now. And it has given an excuse for people who pretended they pushed back against him, are acting like they want us to hear from him again because we need to stop him, but they know the bookers who write this shit can’t write good guy characters properly, they end up always disappointing people. So this manufactured outrage is not really outrage, it was for self preservation to show there was a warning there, and people who constantly make excuses because they oppose the “democrats” they will keep letting the far right slide and they will be the same people who will be on the equivalency of what people pushed back against with shitting on people who normalized the war on terror. That is the reality and I don’t think some of you can handle it, and because you can’t tell your audience you have sold out, you are snapping at the people and being uplifted by very far right wing accounts. Keep saying the “MSM HATES US” even though you have the same views as Anderson Cooper on this Trump shit. And I bet you any money when TYT does get Trump to show up on their panel, people really buy into the “Oh my god why would MSM like figure like Trump go on some random independent show” it is because it is not as independent as you think it is and I personally believe there has been under the table funding going on, but beware when people get outraged by TYT having Trump on their show, they are gonna act like “No we will push back” but they will get steamrolled, they might get him on a couple of things etc, but ultimately he will seem like a decent guy to their audience. They already got one of the more decent people on that show Wasny to kind of be used as a tool over this Jordan Neely story about how no elites ride the trains and people there are scared, and I am not doubting people are scared of the fear mongering is going on, but I feel this craziness is funded by billionaires, they have mentally ill people at this disposal that can be given incentive to act out so it makes people get scared so then they don’t mind the normalized execution of mentally ill and homeless people, but you are presenting this in a reality show way where they are gonna profit off this trial, and instead of saying “They are funding this kind of behavior” they are left to both sides the situation. TYT knew it would be bad optics for them to go negative on this storyline, hence why they have kept Ana Kasparian away from it, but Cenk is already trying to both sides this thing and people opposing him will be limited which makes their side look like they are just screaming about racism and executions for no reason when this could’ve been a situation where it was innocent and there was no harmful intent, but if you are a conspiratorial person like me, you think that these kinds of sacrifices are put out there to manufacture consent, and now you have TYT using someone who is from New York, and someone who happens to be black to basically kind of shutdown the people who are claiming this was an execution, and to me it is another example of them pretending that this stuff is not orchestrated with sports entertainment, which has real life consequences, so they can pretend they are judging this shit fairly and it is really disgusting, we already seen people do this with the Kyle Rittenhouse shit and now this will be another part where more “progressives” start shifting to the right wing and it is fucking scary but we are lessened by this threat because everyone partaking in it has to become a fucking sports entertainment comedy figure and it doesn’t matter if the lies you are telling are gonna get people fucking killed, as long as people enjoyed your fucking comedic banter. Cenk is even going as far as now to say he thinks it should be mandatory to serve the military for a year after high school, he is normalizing himself going back to his republican roots. People like that would see my blog and statements like a punch in the face, but these people are literally normalizing their heel personas and if you call them out on it they will think they are the victims in this because on the surface they would have you believe that people are just getting mad at a “simple opinion” when it is more about they don’t want people to get mad they are gonna align with fascists. I really don’t care if they kill me at this point. The system has already converted anyone I know into elitist behavior, and I feel I am the asshole and unclassy one, like I have been told, because I am not elitist persona, people who can insert themselves into my life, making sure I don’t have my own friends or my own group so I am surrounded by leeches who only use me for a limited gathering while I am not good enough to be at their elitist affairs, and that is fine, it is just this notion that people think they go to “classy” events and look nice, and have this nuclear family aesthetic, thinking they are classier than me is hilarious since they will all get worse mentally and they will eventually alienate people in their lives, they don’t know how to be themselves, they all take on characters. Why would I want to be here. Maybe it is a death wish, the Stern trolls will put out messages how what is happening to my distant uncle in Pakistan, Imran Khan, will be what ends up happening to me, even if it is not true, but instilling paranoia in a mentally ill man so he snaps is very sick, why would I want to be living on this planet with these kinds of people. When the system limits who you can talk to, people like me then have to find other forms of consumption onine to see if there is anyone who is gonna keep it real about shit but most people have to limit their shit even if they are doing good things, it shows me that you will eventually have to do evil and that is why you present the call outs so limited, because then it would mean the whole system will have to be overhauled. Anyways, this blog really went off the rails, per usual but what else would you expect from me?

[thesunicarusfellfor]

Hey!! I love your writing. Can you do a Yandere! Ranboo, Tommy , and tubbo. where they are all in love with the reader and they kidnapped her to ‘keep her safe’ and the reader doesn’t know at first, then she slow realized they are obsessed with her. she like them back but she also want to live her life, so she tries to make agreement? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.

The Ranboo gif is just beautiful and I love it. Lemme see what I can do for ya! I wrote a bullet point Platonic fic if that's fine? I'm still worried about writing the minors in romantic relationships, even if it's the characters.

Sorry, it took so long... My burnout got really bad and I refused to even write basic stuff. But I'm back now! Well. Mostly.

Safe Behind Glass (Yandere!Plat!C!Bench Trio x GN!Reader)

You were a little groggier than normal when you awoke, but it was nothing to alarm you immediately.

Just simply brushing it off as you weren't feeling the best that day, you rolled over to fall back to sleep, but quickly noticed something wrong.

It didn't feel... Right?

The blankets... The mattress... The pillow... They weren't yours...

You peeled your eyes open and your expression went blank with fear.

The room was beautiful mind you.

But it wasn't yours either.

You were laying on a fluffy (f/c) canopy bed, surrounded by quartz walls that were dimly lit soul lanterns that prevented you from being completely swallowed by darkness.

Slowly dragging yourself off the bed, you heard a metal 'clunk' that hit the cold quartz flooring below you.

Turning your head to face downwards, you saw that a decently thick metal chain was cuffed to your ankle.

Somehow, your panic became worse as you immediately grabbed onto it and started to yank on the solid metal, but it refused to budge.

You had no idea how many minutes or hours you spent in that room. Reaching at the iron door desperately, yanking at the chain around your ankle that kept you from reaching the exit, searching the blue lanterns for anything...

But then, the white metallic door slowly swung open, revealing Ranboo, Tubbo and Tommy.

You weren't that close to them, save for a couple interactions here and there, but hey, they came to save you! That didn't matter in the slightest!

You almost cried upon seeing them and moved to walk over, but the chain stopped you from reaching them, and you noticed that they weren't moving to help you.

"You're awake!" Tubbo chirped softly, his tan goat ears wiggling with joy, "I'm glad the potion didn't stick for too long... You could've wound up starving if you stayed asleep."

Horror slowly began to set into your heart as Ranboo nodded and walked over to the dark oak table in the corner of the room and set down a basket of food.

"Ran...Boo...?" You whispered, watching as the monochrome male turned and curiously tilted his head in your direction, "Why... Am I here?"

Instead, Tommy stepped in front of you with a bright cheesy smile, the same one that resembled when he would find a new disc or start a new adventure, "For your safety, (N/n)!"

"Safety?" You choked out softly, Ranboo quickly guiding you to sit in the oak chair, "But... I'm one of the richest people on the server... I have god armour... Nothing could kill m-"

"Techno and Dream can." Tubbo interrupted sharply, halting you mid-sentence.

Right... That masked man... Or whatever he was... He was extremely dangerous, as well as Techno. They could likely pierce your netherite chest plate without even flinching at the number of thorns you had enchanted.

"We don't want anyone to bring you any harm... There's no problem with that, right, (Y/n)?" Ranboo smiled, flashing his sharpened teeth unthreateningly.

No... You wanted to say, but you wanted freedom! You wanted to expand your house to the size of a mansion! You wanted to bicker with Quackity about the stupidest of things! You wanted to get building advice from Phil!

Not be locked away because your safety was a tiny bit compromised!

"Tommy... Tubbo... Ranboo... Please, I'm not going to just stay locked away because I-"

"You'll see things our way soon... Eat up, get your rest." Tubbo smiled and gave you a hug, ignoring how you froze suddenly, before turning and skipping out of the room with the taller two following behind him.

Despite... How screwed up the three were with their methods of making you be their friend, it was working...

They were actually incredibly friendly and funny. It made life in capture bearable! Even though you were incredibly snappy and cruel to them in the beginning, they never held it against you.

Although... Despite their kindness and your quickly blooming friendship, you still had a craving to go outside. Even if what the three told you about everyone forgetting you existed was true.

"You look sad, (N/n)..." Tubbo murmured softly, watching you stare off into the blank quartz wall, "Are you okay?"

Tommy straightened up from his handmade scribble of a map, turning his head towards you in confusion. Ranboo stopped writing mid-word likely and looked in your direction as well.

They never liked it when you were upset.

You pursed your lips silently for a moment, clearly unsettling the males around you, "I just... Haven't been feeling too great... Both mentally and physically I mean... I need sunlight..."

"Yeah... I was reading about that earlier..." Ranboo hummed softly, adjusting his crown as he looked up at the ceiling, "But the issue is..."

"My safety... Yes, I know. What if, I wear my full netherite armour and keep a totem AND a Rapple on me? And also not leave your sides?" You bargained nervously.

That hadn't worked before. But then again, You weren't as close to them before...

The silence that fell upon the room was unsettling and caused your heart to race quickly. If they didn't like what you said, you would be alone for a few straight days... You didn't like it...

"Okay."

What.

That worked?

You just had to ask?!

You watched as Tubbo stood up and pulled the small ender chest from his pocket and set it on the ground, causing it to grow to normal size.

Standing aside, he made a gesture for you to open it and get your stuff.

Hesitantly, You walked over and kneeled down in front of the ender chest. Looking to Tubbo and the others for confirmation, you slowly opened it once they nodded.

Carefully, you began pulling out your armour but paused seeing the lack of golden apples and totems.

Right... Before you had gotten kidnapped by the group, you had used a totem when you fell into the L'Manhole where L'Manberg once was.

That what caused them to kidnap you...

"I-I used... My totem... And Fundy stole my Rapple..." You murmured hesitantly, feeling ready to cry.

Your only chance to escape and you couldn't grab it...

"Hey! Hey! Don't cry! Here!" Ranboo eagerly held the two golden items out towards you at the first sight of tears gathering under your eyes.

"What...?"

"(Y/n)! We want you to be happy! If being outside, even with god armour, rapples and totems, makes you happy, then damn well we're bringing you outside!" Tommy grinned.

After a few tears and lots of hugs, Tubbo helped you hop into your armour while Ranboo unlocked the chain cuff from around your ankle. Tommy had left, leaving the door open for once, going to scout the area for any dangerous mobs.

"Ready?" Ranboo smiled, linking one of his arms with yours, the one that you held the totem in to be more specific. Tubbo happily linked his arm with the other one.

You could only nod, your voice caught in your throat as they began to walk you out the door, Ranboo had to duck down a lot, before leading you to the quartz stairway.

Once up the stairs, Tubbo pressed in a code to the iron door and it slid open quickly, causing you to flinch and pinch your eyes shut at the bright painful light of the sun.

It took about twenty minutes of trying to adjust to the sunlight with the two males encouraging you before you were able to look around.

It was everything you had missed...

The sunlight...

The trees...

God, it was perfect...

Tommy eventually came out of the tree line and sat down beside you as you took it all in...

Months, you were down there. And sure, they gave you plenty of decorations to prevent you from experiencing sensory deprivation, nothing could ever compare to the beauty of the outside world.

A voice cut through the air -calling for someone or something named Fran?- and you almost didn't recognize it. But then the owner came out of the trees, almost a similar direction that Tommy came from earlier.

Sam? He looked so... Different now...

The creeper hybrid slowly lowered his gas mask to show his mouth dropped in shock, "(Y/n)...? You're alive...?"

Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo were freaking out, trying to bring you back into the bunker, as they called it, but you weren't budging. You hadn't seen another being in ages... And while you did platonically love the three boys, you enjoyed hearing a new voice.

"You... Remember me? But... Tubbo you said-" You frowned at the goat hybrid as they stopped suddenly, realizing that you weren't moving.

"You three... Kept them locked away... For almost an entire year?" Sam's voice was getting a little bit scary now, but it wasn't directed at you, instead, at your best friends...

"Sam! It was to protect them! Please!" Ranboo tried, but he wasn't making it better.

"You made Quackity believe they ran away... Made Philza wake up every morning and walk through the SMP for any signs of them... Gave Puffy false information on where you have last seen them... lied to everyone... Only to be the reason that they were gone." Sam growled out, gripping his trident, "Then you proceeded to make them think we all forgot about them..."

"S-Sam... You've got this all wrong big man..." Tubbo tried next...

The warden wasn't listening as he pointed his trident at them, his communicator in his other hand next to his mouth, then he started speaking, causing his voice to come out of Ranboo's, Tubbo's and Tommy's pockets. He was speaking on the public channel.

"Tommy Innit, Tubbo Underscore, Ranboo Beloved... You are being placed in the prison, Pandora's Vault, for keeping (Y/n) (L/n) imprisoned in a bunker and lying about their whereabouts."

It felt like someone splashed you with cold water...

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

The Sommelier (Hannigram x Female!Reader) pt. 26

Hannibal, Will and y/n host a dinner to put an end to everything

@dovahdokren @deadman-inc-bikeshop @lov3vivian @wisesandwichshark @scpdragon

Trigger warnings: PTSD, violence

"Hannibal, baby," You called down from the wine cellar. "Which one pairs best with the paella?"

"A Spanish white!" Will interjected.

You rolled your eyes, then looked at his shelf full of Spanish whites. "Thanks, Hannibal."

"You're the sommelier, [F/N]." Will shouted back. "Go with your gut!"

"Verdejo it is." You said to yourself, grabbing the high-shouldered bottle from the shelf.

You returned from the cellar and headed to the dining room, where Will was dutifully setting the table.

"Well aren't you the perfect little homemaker?" You commented, making sure he caught you eyeing his backside.

Will playfully snatched the wine from your hands. "We can't all be the breadwinners, can we, Ms. Restaurant Owner?"

You laughed, looking around at your triple-income house and accepting a kiss from your Will. You put your hands on his shoulders and broke the kiss.

"You know Hannibal isn't going to let you attend one of his famous dinner parties in a flannel, right?" You warned him, lips hovering a few inches from his face.

"Two guests is not a dinner party." Will corrected you. "I figured you'd know this after six months but, baby, Hannibal is always overdressed for everything."

"Better overdressed than the other way around, my treasure." Hannibal said, standing in the threshold. "Why don't you go slip in to that suit I bought you?"

Will threw his hands up. "Do you two just live to gang up on me? You know I can buy my own clothes, right?"

You scoffed. "Babe, you spent your last paycheck almost entirely at Bass Pro Shops-"

"And then we spent the day workshopping new seafood dishes for the restaurant with the fish I caught." Will shrugged. "You don’t get to benefit from it then complain."

You put up your hands in surrender. "Fair enough."

"So I don't make an ordeal out of this in front of guests," Hannibal said, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out two small drawstring bags and gave one to each of you. "Happy six months, my darlings."

"Six month anniversary presents?" Will laughed. "What are we, high school students?"

"Do you not want it?" Hannibal raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't say that." He mumbled.

You opened the bag and slid the contents into your hand. A beautiful solid white ring with ornate carvings tumbled out.

"It's beautiful." You smiled, sliding it on to your finger. "What is it?"

"A ring, my indulgence." Hannibal chuckled.

You narrowed your eyes at him. "Sure, but what is it made of?"

He hesitated for a moment. "Ivory."

"Should I be concerned that you somehow know both of our ring sizes?" Will asked, admiring how his fit perfectly on his finger. 

“I think you mean ‘thank you, Hannibal’.” You corrected him. “Even if it is a little uncanny.”

The doorbell rang. Hannibal threw a dish towel over his shoulder and pointed to Will.

"Go change." He ordered. "I will not have my guests seeing you in such an unsightly state."

"It's Jack and [F/N]'s friend." Will protested.

"Sure, I'll get the door." You said. "Gee, thanks [F/N], that would be so helpful!"

You opened the door with a smile.

"Agent Crawford!" You greeted, shaking his hand.

"Oh, please." He laughed. "Call me Jack."

"And this must be Bella." You said, offering his wife your hand. "Jack has told me all about you."

"So you're the infamous [F/N] [L/N]?" Bella accepted with a smile. "It's so nice to meet you."

Jack removed his hat and coat, then handed you a bag. "For you."

"You shouldn't have." You said, knowing immediately that it was wine. Then you pulled it out of the bag. Your eyes went wide and your jaw hung open.

"Holy shit you really shouldn't have." You repeated.

Jack shrugged and smiled smugly. "I pulled some strings in evidence. Figured you might want it."

You threw your arms around his neck, keeping a tight grip on the 1907 Heidsieck Monopole.

"Hey, do I get a hug?" Said another voice.

Charissa waved to you from the porch.

"Holy shit, hey!" You opened your arms. Charissa jumped into your embrace and squeezed you. She'd always hugged you tighter after seeing you half-alive in a hospital bed with your seldom-seen lovers at your bedside.

"Jack, this is my friend Charissa Rodriquez." You introduced. "She was the one who sent you the address."

"So you're 'tip', huh?" Jack's face lit up. "The FBI owes you a debt of gratitude, Ms. Rodriquez."

"Tip?" You said, looking at both Jack and Charissa.

"The address we received came from an obvious burner email." Jack explained. "We thought it was from Chase, so we arrived with a ton of backup anticipating an attack. Turns out we needed it."

Charissa shrugged. "I thought you could never be too careful."

"Well, intentional or not," Jack said. "You helped us a lot."

"You're Charissa Rodriquez?" Will said from the staircase. He wore a grey suit with a dark blue dress shirt that fit him scarily well considering he hadn't even tried it on.

"Enchanté, monsieur." Charissa said, eyeing him up with a hungry smile. "You must be Will."

"Down, girl." You crossed your arms. Your tone was playful, but had a slight threatening bite. "He's all mine."

"Not all yours." Hannibal corrected, entering the scene to finally greet his guests. "Agent Crawford, Bella, Ms. Rodriquez, welcome."

"Wow." Charissa said, dumbfounded. "I feel like I'm meeting a celebrity."

"Oh, surely the rumors unraveled after the old place went out of business." Hannibal answered. "There are far more interesting things to talk about than myself."

"Very few, but they do exist." Jack commented.

Charissa folded her arms. "Like the bartender who stood up to a psychotic cult leader and found two wonderful boyfriends to take care of her?"

"I've heard that one!" You added. "I hear she bought the restaurant for next to nothing after it became a stigmatized property."

Carissa narrowed her eyes at you. "I still cannot believe you told him."

You shrugged. "I think it all worked out."

Hannibal gathered everyone around the table and tasked you with pouring the wine.

"Surely you know why I've invited you here tonight." He asked, taking a seat at the head. "The high courts have ruled Chase's death a suicide."

"Cheers to that." Will said, raising his glass.

"Nobody actually believes it was a suicide." Jack clarified, trying not to look at you too obviously. "But the jury didn't want to dignify him with a proper homicide ruling."

Charissa glared at you, not trying to not be obvious. "Only one person at the table knows for sure."

You shook your head. "I hit my head really hard, the details are just not there."

"But [F/N]'s DNA was on the gun." Bella added.

"But not her fingerprints." Jack said. "It was saliva. We think he tried to choke her with his fingers before reaching for the gun."

"Did you ever find that finger?" Charissa said like it was nothing.

Jack, who was more interested in the paella than the conversation, shook his head. "Never."

Your eyes widened. You left the finger with the gun, you were sure of it.

"Must we discuss the gory details over dinner?" Will said, sensing your discomfort.

Charissa rested her chin in her hands. "Would you rather talk about your three-person couple?"

"I distinctly remember spitting the finger out." You insisted.

"We found so many pieces of bone in that room," Jack continued. "It's genuinely of far less concern than the dynamite lining the walls and bunker full of cocaine, stolen medical supplies and baby coffins."

"And the stained glass window made of human skin." You added.

"You know a case is fucked when a lost finger is of the least concern." Charissa commented.

"The important thing is that it's over." Will said. "He's dead and [F/N] is alive."

Bella smiled at you. "God really is looking out for you, [F/N]."

You forced a smile, telling yourself that Bella had the best intentions. But her good intentions revived Chase's voice in your head, which was a voice you'd spent the last six months trying to forget. You tightened your grip on your utensils to relieve some tension, but it didn’t work.

The table went quiet, waiting for Bella to realize her mistake. Will put his hand over yours and looked into your eyes. He mouthed the word 'breathe' and some similar affirmations.

Hannibal raised his head, knowing the light casting shadows on his face intimidated people. "Ms. Bella, we generally don't talk religion here."

She covered her mouth with her fingertips. "I'm so sorry, [F/N], I just meant-"

You put your hand up. "Please, just don't."

"The important thing is that [F/N] recovered forty missing women and reunited them with their families." Will said. "And there was no divine presence involved in that."

You smiled softly. "I'll drink to that."

"And you'll also be happy to know that the woman who assisted him in luring all those girls into the cult," Jack added. "She's looking at twenty-five to life without parole."

"What about the babies?" Bella piped up. "Weren't there, like, at least twelve newborns?"

"That's where the department of family and child services took over." Jack answered. "Whether the biological mothers kept them or put them up for adoption is out of our hands, but I do know each child was thoroughly examined and are all up to date on their shots."

"Seriously, though." Charissa interjected. "How do you misplace an entire finger?"

"It's one of the easier appendages to misplace." Hannibal answered, speaking with experience. "I heard it wasn't just the one that you couldn't find."

Jack looked up from his plate, confused. "Now how did you know about that?"

"The man took a 12 gauge bullet directly to the hand, Jack." Hannibal said with a small chuckle. "It's more likely you find no fingers than any at all."

"The bones will turn up somewhere." Jack said, resignedly. 

He just happened to say the word “bones” as you were glancing at your ring. 

You smiled a little too wide. “They just might.”  

[strawberry--bride]

DIABOLIK LOVERS Haunted Dark Bridal ー Sharon’s Route [PROLOGUE]

Monologue

The most painful thing in this world,

is losing your home. Your place-to-be.

No matter how dire the situation,

if you are surrounded by people who love and care for you.

No obstacle is invincible. 

Then ーー Where do I belong?

Having long lost the place I once considered home.

I spent many years in a place which would provide for me. 

I had food, a roof above my head, a warm bed to sleep in at night.

But could I truly call this my home? 

Those doubts would lurk in the back of my mind, keeping me up at night.

Until one day, I was made a special offer. 

If I complied, I would be given the thing my heart longs for the most.

ーー A new home.

Location: Sakamaki Manor ;; Outside

Sharon: This is the place, right...?

( Woah...Amazing. I’ve never seen a house quite this big. They even have a garden! )

*Knock knock*

Sharon: Excuse meー! My name’s Sharon. I’m supposed to move in here today! 

...

...

( No response...? How strange. They should have been informed through the Church. )

*Knock knock*

Sharon: Hello...? Anybody home...!?

Sharon: ( What to do...? There doesn’t seem to be anyone home right now. It’s already getting dark. I can’t just stand here all night either. )

*Creaaaaak*

Sharon: ...Huh? Did the...door just open by itself?

( Does that mean I can go inside? I feel a little hesitant just entering someone else’s home butーー I was told I could live here so it should be fine, right? )

She enters the manor.

 Location: Sakamaki Manor ;; Entrance Hall

Sharon: Just as I thought, the inside is equally spacious. I can’t imagine just one person living in such a large house all by themselves. Cleaning must take quite some time as well.

She puts down her suitcase.

*Thud*

Sharon: Phew...

( ...It’s so quiet. Almost as if the house is deserted. I wonder if the owner is out at the moment? In that case, I should probably wait in the living room. )

Sharon looks around.

Sharon: I guess it’s...that way?

*Rustle*

Sharon: ...!!

( I...Did I just...step on something? It felt...strangely soft and... )

???: ーー Oi.

Sharon: ...Kyah!

Sharon: ( A person...!? Oh my gosh. I just arrived here and the first thing I do is step on someone! )

???: ...

Sharon: I’m terribly sorry! I didn’t think there would be someone lying on the floor and...!

( ...Speaking of which, what were they doing down there anyway!? ...Sleeping? No way, right? When you have a house this large, you definitely don’t need to use the floor as a bed... )

???: Haah...

Sharon: Oh no! Are you feeling ill, perhaps? In that case, I shall call a doctor right away!

???: ...You’re loud. How am I supposed to enjoy my Rachmaninov when you’re screaming the place down? 

Sharon: Rach...mani...? ...E-Either way, if you’re not feeling sick, then what were you doing on the floor?

???: Wasting his time away listening to music rather than making himself useful, per usual, I would assume. Well, I suppose it is best not to have any expectations of this man in the first place, as he will only let you down in the end.

Sharon: ...!? 

( A voice...? Out of nowhere...!? )

Sharon: ...Wah!!

( Where did he come from...? )

???: Now, who might you be?

Sharon: Ah...I’m sorry! My name’s Sharon. I’m an orphan at the Catholic orphanage downtown. I was told by our related Church that the resident of this manor has been so kind to take me in. Are you...perhaps the owner?

???: ...I see. It seems you are the next...sacrifice.

Sharon: Excuse me?

???: Nothing. I was simply talking to myself. ...Ahem. My name is Sakamaki Reiji. The second eldest son of this family and one of the residents here. ...The man you had the ‘honor’ of meeting earlier is Shuu. While you may not suspect so given his deplorable behavior, he is - quite unfortunately - my elder brother.

Sharon: Reiji-san...and Shuu-san, was it? It’s a pleasure meeting you both!

Shuu: ...

Reiji: I assume that is your luggage over there? A room has been prepared for you. We will have one of our servants bring everything upstairs.

Sharon: Thank you very much!

( Thank god...So there wasn’t any mistake after all. )

Sharon: Oh! Right! I actually brought a little gift with me! They’re homemade muffins I made this morーー

*CRASH*

Sharon: ーー ning...!?

Startled by the loud noise, she drops the box with muffins.

*Thud*

???: YOU FUCKIN’ BASTARD!! I swear once I get my hands on youーー! 

???: Ahaha! I can’t believe you actually fell for that one! Lame-o!

Reiji: ...

Shuu: Haah...

Sharon: ( H-Hold on, hold on, hold on! Eh? Eeeeh!? I’m not dreaming, right!? That person just punched a hole through the wall!? )

Reiji: Ahem. ...Allow me to introduce. The one who destroyed the wall is the youngest son, Sakamaki Subaru. Next to him is Sakamaki Ayato, the eldest of the triplets. 

ーー You two, explain this situation at once!

Ayato: ...Che. Reiji. I didn’t do anythin’! Not my fault that Subaru ate those prank chocolates I left out on the kitchen counter.

Subaru: Fuck off! You definitely did that on purpose! ...I can still feel my mouth burnin’...!!

Sharon: ( ...Prank chocolates? I guess he means those filled with mustard and other spicy condiments, right? I didn’t know people actually bought those. )

Ayato: Of course! I was hopin’ to catch Kanato. Can you imagine what kinda face he would make when poppin’ one of those bad boys in his mouth?

???: ...Say, did you hear that, Teddy? ...I hope Ayato sleeps with one eye open tonight. He might just run into...unfortunate accident.

Sharon: ...Eh!?

( Another person just appeared out of thin air!? )

Ayato: Keh. The lunatic’s here.

Reiji: Sakamaki Kanato, the middle triplet. 

...Kanato, If you wish to commit a homicide, please do so outside of the walls of this manor. It takes forever to remove blood stains from the carpet.

Kanato: I don’t recall having to take orders from you.

ーー However, you’re lucky as I happen to be in a good mood right now. I believe I heard someone mention muffins? 

Sharon: ...Ah, yes! I made these myse...Huh? ...Oh.

Shuu: It’s not blood, but I think the carpet will need some cleaning regardless.

Reiji: Good grief...

Sharon: Oh no...! The box must have slipped from my fingertips when I heard the sudden crash and...

Ayato: Ah-ahー Look what you did, Subaru. It’s always the youngest child causin’ trouble.

Subaru: HAAH!? All of this started ‘cause you left those stupid chocolates out!

Sharon: ...They turned out really good too. What a shame.

Subaru: ...!! ...O-Oi...You...Um...My bad.

Kanato: ...Unforgivable. 

Sharon: Eh?

Kanato: ...HOW WILL YOU MAKE THIS UP TO ME!?

Sharon: ( W-Why is he getting upset at me all of a sudden!? It was obviously just an accident!? )

Um...I’m not sure...I could make some new ones later?

???: There, there, Kanato-kun~ Relax! Even if the muffins were wasted, there’s a delicious snack just waiting to be devoured...

*Rustle*

Sharon: ...!

( Someone wrapped their arms around me from behind!? )

???: ...Right here~ ...Nfu~

Sharon: ...Eh!?

( I-Is he talking about me!? )

Reiji: ...And finally, the youngest triplet, Sakamaki Laito. 

Ayato: Oi, Laito! No way you’re gettin’ the first taste again! I still haven’t forgotten last time!

Laito: Eeeh~? It’s not my fault you’re so slow, Ayato-kun~ However, if you’re so insistent on taking a bite out of her, I wouldn’t mind sharing, you know? I’m sure it’d make for a refreshing and thrilling experience~

Ayato: Geh! In your dreams, you perv!

Sharon: ( Taste? Bite...? Why are they talking as if I’m their food!? )

Excusーー

Shuu: ...Strawberries.

Sharon: Eh?

Kanato: What are you talking about? I don’t see any strawberries around.

Reiji: Shuu. Explain yourself.

Shuu: Your panties. They had strawberries on them.

Sharon: ...!!

( When did he...!? Ah! When I stepped on him...! )

Ayato: Pfftー!! Strawberries! How old are you, five? That’s hella lame!

Laito: Hm...~ Strawberries are not bad but with such a lovely body, I’m sure you could pull off something a little more erotic~

Subaru: ...

Laito: Oh, my bad~ I forgot baby bro was in the room. I suppose talking about a woman’s underwear is still a little too much for him to handle.

Subaru: S-Shut up...!!

Reiji: ...Enough! No more on this topic! ...Haah. Is it really that much to ask for you lot to behave? Just for one day?

Ayato: ーー Anyway, Reiji. Who’s this chick anyway? Tonight’s dinner?

Sharon: D-Dinner...!? I’m sorry but...Why are you all talking as if I’m food or something!?

Ayato: Shut it! Nobody asked for your opinion, Ichigo Pantsu.

Sharon: I-Ichigo paーー!? I have a name...! ...It’s Sharon.

Ayato: Yeah, yeah. I-chi-go Pa-n-tsu.

Laito: Hm~ This Bitch-chan does smell sweet just like strawberries. Perhaps I should call you ‘Ichigo-chan’ instead~?

Kanato: She really does. I’m sure her blood would taste just as sweet...Oh? What’s that, Teddy? You’d like to have a taste? Fufu...Good idea. I was just feeling a little peckish myself.

Reiji: Haah...I shall be in my study room. ...Ayato, Kanato, Laito. Please treat our new resident with some respect. It would be a shame to lose another one so soon.

Sharon: ...Wait, please! I’m afraid I don’t quite grasp the situation yet!

Reiji: Haah...Good grief. You must not be very smart, are you? Did you truly believe you would be allowed to stay here for free?

Sharon: ...Eh?

Laito: Nfu~ He’s right, Ichigo-chan. Everything in this world comes at a price. In your case...That would be the delicious blood pumping through your veins...

Sharon: M-My blood...? 

Ayato: Heh. You seriously haven’t realized?

Kanato: Teddy...Humans are truly so foolish, aren’t they?

Subaru: Che...Stop beatin’ ‘round the bush already and just tell her.

Shuu: We are Vampires. So the only thing a human such as yourself would have to offer, is your blood.

Reiji: In return, you will be allowed to stay here in this manor. Food, clothes and all other daily necessities willl be provided as well.

Sharon: Vam...pires? That must be some sort of joke, right? It was the Church who arranged this place for me! They would neverーー! 

Besides...Vampires only exist in fairytales!

Reiji: Good grief. This is why I simply cannot deal with humans. Not only are they incredibly foolish, they are horribly naive and trusting as well.

Subaru: In other words, you were set up. Just deal with it.

Sharon: ...

( No way, right...? This has to be some sort of mistake? Or a bad dream...? )

Shuu: Pwaah...Anyway, you guys do as you please. I’m going to my room to nap.

Subaru: I’m leaving too.

Reiji: Well then, if you’d excuse me now.

The three of them leave.

Sharon: ...

Laito: Oh dear~? Is that despair I see in your eyes? You poor little thing! Don’t worry, Laito-kun wil make sure to comfort you. After all, there is no better cure for betrayal than pleasure.

Ayato: Don’t be so down, Ichigo Pantsu! It’s not that bad of a deal! You get to offer your blood to Yours Truly after all!

Kanato: Fufu...I’m sure we’ll get along just fine. If you’re lucky, you might even make it into my precious collection one day~

Sharon: ...!!

She suddenly pushes them away.

*THUD*

Ayato: ...Woah!?

Laito: ...Aah~ Not bad, Ichigo-chan! I like myself a feisty girl at times!

Kanato: Ugh! ...What are you doing!? I nearly dropped Teddy just now.

Sharon: ...

She runs upstairs.

Location: Sakamaki Manor ;; Hallway

Sharon: Haah, haah, haah...

( Say, God...? )

( Is this my penalty...? )

( Are you punishing me for my crimes of the past...? )

Monologue

I just kept on running and running.

As said question repeated itself inside my head.

That must be it.

Those guys were exactly right. 

Humans are foolish. I was foolish. 

Foolish to believe I would be given a new home.

After all, people like me.

ーー They don’t deserve a happy ending.

ーー PROLOGUE: END ーー

[ Dark Prologue ] ->

[agent-cupcake]

As a resident Claudefucker, I know am curious to know what our fave charming schemer is doing during this Mafia!AU. He'd look lovely in a suit.

~It was quite the headline when Godfrey Riegan died. The details are a little hazy, a little convenient, but people don't talk about that sort of thing. Car accidents are common. Tragic, but not unreasonable. There’s no reason to smear a man’s perfectly respectable political career for the sake of some sensational gossip.

~In the right circles, however, there was a huge uproar, questions about who was going to take over the Riegan family when the elderly boss Oswald died. The Riegan’s had been dominating Leicester for quite some time, but a lot of people began to predict that the Gloucester family was going to move in. They had powerful friends, it seemed. Friends with money, no less.

~Claude Riegan, grandson of Oswald, appeared out of nowhere just when he was needed. Stories of the lost daughter Tiana still circulated, sure, but there were still a lot of questions about Claude’s origins when nobody except Oswald were able to vouch for him. He obviously had military leadership experience—his skill with guns and ability to lead was just too excellent for any other explanation—but he dismissed the question out of hand. There’s no documentation of him, either, leading some to wonder if even his name was false. But Oswald said he was family, and that was that.

~Claude was quick to establish himself, in any case. Despite his cavalier attitude, his efficacy in overhauling the power dynamics of Leicester were profound.  

~He decided, first and foremost, that the way to win the people over was to invigorate the local culture, which had seen a sharp decline as a result of new laws that were unfavorable to business, Adrestia’s growing market monopolies, and the bad reputation of the red light district Ailell. This included some perfectly legitimate campaigning and some under the table type schemes. 

~The result was a flourishing Derdriu Street. While it lacks the prestige of Enbarr Square in Adrestia, it welcomes entertainment that would be considered too “low brow” like comedy, trendy new restaurants, and music venues. Even better, all of it is built on the recently cleaned up river. The Riegan family is involved in all of  it, of course. 

~Casino owner Claude. This exists solely to thirst but maybe it was preexisting and he took it over due to its poor management? If there’s going to be gambling anyway, it should be done right. The extra money’s not so bad, either. But, Claude lounging in a big leather chair in a dark blue blazer with gold brocade, his white shirt unbuttoned low enough to see enough his chest. Enough to make you drool. Enough that you’d definitely get caught staring and probably called out for it because he can’t help himself. Claude with his elbows on the arm rests and fingers folded in front of him as he considers you, gold rings winking because he’s just that ostentatious and appearances are important. Claude asking you how you feel about taking risks in a way that really feels like it has nothing to do with cards, staring at you with a friendly smile that doesn’t meet those calculating eyes—eyes that you know will pick up on every tell. 

~Claude also struck a deal with the Kupala Distillery. They’d been fighting to keep hold of their historic business for years, and Claude offered to help them with that. You know, not for free, but he’s good at making deals that leave everybody happy. 

~The second biggest thing he tackled was the drug trade. For the most part, no one family had ever had a complete handle on that market. The Goneril’s had a hold over the docks for years, but the Edmunds had been moving in and working with the Gloucester family to bolster their power. Distribution was scattered and hard to keep track of as it ultimately circulated wherever there was a profit to be made. Looking at it like this, Claude decided that the only way to fix things was to take control over all of it. In his line of work, shady things like the drug trade are impossible to avoid. At the very least, if he has control over it, he can ensure the product is clean and expel far more unsavory ventures.

~Through these escapades, Claude was able to make alliances with all of the major families. A lot of them had only remained loyal to the Gloucester family out of fear so as soon as they had an alternative, they bolted. This has an unfortunate side effect of revealing how his power is perceived. Every day is a balancing act for Claude. He allows each family to function as they please as long as they’re aware they do so at his mercy. It’s better to keep friends than to control enemies, but even that requires a delicate maneuvering of power.

~However, Claude likes the conflict. He enjoys the game and he especially enjoys winning the game. There’s a certain level of his excusing amorality for the sake of his family and Leicester, but there’s an equal part of him that understands his wrongdoings and deals with it separately. He wouldn’t hold to the naïve “ends justify the means” idea to excuse himself, but he would still argue that his actions have value and are even necessary. If it weren’t him, it would be somebody a lot worse than him. That’s probably something that would linger in the back of everybody’s minds whenever they shook his hand or paid their respects, whenever they began to think of how easy it would be to take him out. Fear, too. So far, Claude’s never done anything shockingly bad, only what was necessary. But with his power and intellect, it’s always a question of what he could do.

~If someone asked him that, Claude would smile that friendly smile and tell them that he would do anything to see his vision made real. Whether or not that’s true remains to be seen. 

~Luckily, Claude’s not alone! Hilda is the stereotypical crime family princess. She joined Claude because he offered her freedom from the overbearing control of her father and brother. Her skill in manipulating everybody around her combined with her reputation as a ditzy rich girl makes her fantastic at gathering information, assuming Claude can get her to do so. But, as long as he’s not being too forceful, she’s surprisingly motivated to weave her way through social circles and charm everyone. Although she would never say it, the order he brought to Leicester, not to mention the entertainment, made everything a lot better for her and her family. Plus, she likes being useful after spending her entire life watching Holst give his heart and soul to family while she did nothing. Ultimately, the information she provides is essential and her relationship with Claude is one of the few either have that’s built on trust, respect, and loyalty. That said, sometimes even Claude gets a little shiver as he watches how easily Hilda can manipulate people.  

~Lorenz was one of Claude’s most disdainful detractors, although a part of that was jealousy. Claude just swept in and did things that Lorenz had been waiting and planning to do once he became the head of the Gloucester family. Even after being on the receiving ends of such vicious attacks, once Claude undeniably had the upper hand in Leicester, he went behind the Gloucester boss’s back to Lorenz and told him that they were going to be friends or enemies, it was Lorenz’s choice. Not threatening him, just pointing out that the fall of the Gloucester family was inevitable under his father’s leadership and that Lorenz didn’t have to suffer for his father’s sins. Probably over mimosas and brunch. Lorenz is proud and has no appreciation for Claude, but he’s not stupid. After they worked out their disagreements and more or less accepted each other, Lorenz and Claude became pretty close. Claude knows that having someone to openly and aggressively disagree with him isn’t a bad thing. Not only that, but Lorenz’s a solid ally with a better grasp on some of the things Claude has difficulty with due to not being a native. Lorenz is willing to admit that Claude is a good leader.

~Marianne is well educated in the realm of the law and political action. The reason the Edmund family saw such success despite their lesser status was because of her adopted father’s genius. which he made sure to share with Marianne. She is invaluable in aiding Claude on the perfectly legitimate side of his business, and helping him hide his tracks for the shady stuff. Raphael is the muscle. Lysithea is a computer genius. Being a sickly shut in with issues that only recently saw treatment, she’s on the Mr. Robot level of hacker mode activated. Ignatz is an architect which is useful since so much of Claude’s power is in the property and infrastructure. He also designed a lot of places to have some neat-o hidey holes. Claude loves buildings that have secrets. Leonie is manages a lot of the physical and pettier side of the work. If someone’s stirring up trouble, she’s likely to pay them a visit as a warning before Claude has to get involved. She used to be a mercenary but being on Claude’s payroll is a lot better of a gig.    

~As for the suits, one thing is very important. Claude would not, under any circumstances, wear something tight on his thighs. I actually kind of like the idea of him going for a 1980′s style modernized. In his post timeskip outfit, he’s already got a hint of that going on with how oversized his outfit looks. The 80′s (rightfully) gets a bad rep for fashion, but it’s also very iconic with those wide-collared suit jackets, matchy-matchy three piece suits, sportscoats with a fun patterned shirt underneath, open blazers, pleated pants with an oversized jacket, and—in particular—the trend of summer suits in shades of tan and cream with colored shirts underneath. Then, combine that with a pair of Ray-Ban Aviators and a topless convertible and you’ve got a distinctly recognizable mob boss who doubles as a devastating heartthrob. I’m not saying he’d do a 1:1 recreation, but you’d definitely see references to the fashion of the era in his outfits. He would wear oxfords or ankle boots. Whatever it was, they’d have to be comfortable. He also doesn’t shy away from jewelry. The earring, of course, and rings when he's feeling particularly decadent. When he’s wearing his shirts unbuttoned Claude could possibly wear a gold chain. I mean, what are you gonna say, no? That gold doesn’t look gorgeous against his skin? That it’s tacky? You’re talking to the man who wore quilted pants. Claude’s not afraid to stand out because he knows he will anyway, nor is he afraid to be seen as unfashionable because he doesn’t particularly care about trends. I also enjoy the idea of him emulating the 80′s as someone who didn’t grow up in a western culture and thus mainly saw things through the lens of movies. Whatever he wears, however, he would look very handsome.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

May 2021 Wk 3

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

It’s a cray cray Friday when Vietnam gets its eng subs up before GMMTV Thailand. What alter-reality are we in? Well, the Vietnamese offerings are better right now anyway. (Oooo, feel that burn.) 

Ongoing Series - Thai

Top Secret Together Ep 2 - pulping it up in the best possible way. Sure sound and production values are pants, and in classic Thai fashion the editing in post is exacerbating (rather than fixing) pacing issues, but it’s still CUTE AF. I don’t even mind the added university storyline, because they’ve got good chemistry (and a confident gay fresher after a panicked gay hazer is an old favorite... what can I say, SOTUS was my first love). We aren’t spending too much time with any one couple, so it’s weighted a lot better than Brothers was, but also character development is slow. 

Siew Sum Noi Ep 2 - Unfortunately, it’s just too hard to find, plus no subs. I’m dropping it in the hopes it comes back on my radar some day. 

Y-Destiny Ep 8 - (Thurs) It’s rough having a ghost boyfriend, half your friends are scared, the other half think you’re crazy, and kissing shortens your lifespan. This was a cute couple even if I wasn’t wild about the surrounding story. 

Close Friend Ep 5: (Dear My Star/JimmyTommy) - about high school penpals. It had to rely entirely on voice over work as the actors only meet face to face at the end. It’s a good thing they are appealing screen presences on their own, with good vocal control. It’s hard to imagine any other BL pair carrying this kinda plot. It’s by far my favorite of the series so far, and I’m not even a big JimmyTommy fan. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 7 - no subs. Do we care? Not really. Because we have... 

Nitiman Ep 3 - currently my favorite out of Thailand. It’s the university Thai BL i’ve been waiting for since... when was the last good one? My Engineer? Yowza. Anyway we got: head on my shoulder, baby is a floppy drunk (but still wants to be in control), proximity alert, boyfriend’s closet, seme gets seriously jelly, and a cute twist on feeding him. There’s something fun and complex about Jin’s character. He’s not a panicked bi. He knows exactly what’s going on, he just hasn’t decided if he wants Bb or not. He clearly enjoys being looked after, the compliments, and the attention, but he’s not sure if he’s going to like what happens if he gives in. I like that twist on the usual tsundere uke archetype a lot, cautious rather than willfully obtuse or freaked out. We can see Jin realizing in stages: I like this person, I like that they like me, I like the romantic attentiveness. But in the background is... do I actually want to f*k him? It’s a dynamic we don’t often see on BL. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 10 fin - the most ridiculous show using BLs worst tropes in a sort of weird smoothie of bitter greens and too ripe banana. The ending was the sappiest cheesiest thing ever, like cheese syrup tapped from the cheese tree. So of course I loved it, but I’m pretty sure I giggled through all the bits meant to be profound. Because, in the end, to tolerate this show at all, you just can’t take ANY of it seriously. RECOMMENDED (with some SERIOUS reservations and trigger warnings.) Full review here. 

Be Loved in House: I Do (Taiwan) Ep 1-2 - I don’t mind a damaged seme character but this one is a bit weird for me. Like creepy Cheese in the Trap level weird. On the bright side, the story has given our tsundere uke good motivation for his angst and great existing friendships, loyalty, and likability. Plus I’m invested in the cafe owner/innocent puppy side dishes. So if it’s only the seme character I’m not jiving with, and he’s the most established actor, it should all turn out fine. I believe in you, Taiwanese BL. 

Papa & Daddy (Taiwan) Ep 6 fin - speaking of belief. This such a good show but they gave us a cliffhanger ending. Now we must hope against hope for season two. That’s never guaranteed with Taiwan tho. So, I’m docking a few points and saying, RECOMMENDED so long as you realize it’s a cliffhanger. 

Love is Science? (Taiwan) Ep 1-9 (BL subplot) - this is a good het romance, but the fact that the BL subplot is a beautifully acted disaster bi + confident gay means you’re hearing about it whether you want to or not. Plus they just added in some GL! Come on! I gotta support Taiwan normalizing queer to this extent. They are fighting the good fight and if I also have to watch a career lady and her much younger softest straight boi get it on, too? Twist my arm with that service sub subtext. Go on Taiwan, TWIST IT. It’s on Viki. Join the revolution.   * Incidentally if you actually like the D/s het dynamic of this show, I highly recommend Japanese Kimi wa Petto - career woman keeps a hot young dancer boy as a pet. Oh yes, an actual pet, that IS the pitch. Never doubt Japan when kink is on the line. It’s also on Viki. Go get your kink on, thank me later. (If it helps: That was not a request.)  

Most Peaceful Place 2 (Vietnam) Ep 2 (AKA 5) - love triangles aren’t my thing, but if you’re gonna do it short form, by all means bring in the lead’s other BL pairing so the chemistry is on point. Now I've no idea who I want him to end up with. Can’t they just be in a poly triad? 

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 7 - I’m still enjoying it a lot. It’s still unabashedly queer and the tension is ramping up. We now have secret identity, blackmail, femme fatale, faen fatale, and incoming seme confrontation. Best of all, the series is still airing, which makes it longer than any other Vietnamese BL I’ve seen (aside from Tein Bromance - which is just too weird to count). 

Gossip - Thai BL 

SEVEN PROJECT TEASERS

No one is entirely sure what Studio Wabi Sabi’s Seven Project/7Project will entail. 

It might be like Close Friend (1 episode per couple, no linking), 

or Y-Destiny (2 episodes per couple, loosely linked), 

or The En of Love (4 episodes per couple, linked but independent consecutive stories). 

They’re giving the couple’s arcs separate titles. So each one would be what? Seven Project: Once Upon a Time or the like? We’re in Taiwanese title territory people and NO ONE WANTS TO GO THERE. Anygay... 

Once Upon a Time is the BounPrem (og UWMA) anchor story, and seems to be the most dramatic and likely saddest. These two can handle most of what’s thrown at them at this juncture, so it should be good. 

Vs Love is a BoomPeak (og Make it Right) university vehicle. Since I thought Boom was done with our nonsense, I couldn’t be more thrilled and surprised this pair is doing another show together. I don’t think either of them are the greatest actors but I find Peak very endearing and Boom charismatic on screen, so I’ll watch. 

Would You be My Love is the hotly anticipated SantaEarth launch. They’re a (cultivated) IRL ship and Earth is an established BL actor. They have great chemistry and high energy so this could be lots of fun. 

We are also getting a GL from this series from established BL actresses Samantha and Pineare. Nothing teased yet on that, but I’m looking forward to this installment the most. Also curious to see how the ladies handle the branding and promo side, not to mention the culture. (Thailand variety shows gonna force *girls* to play the Pepero game?) 

Secret Crush on You upcoming Thai BL with no release date, co-produced by and featuring (but NOT staring) Saint and directed by Cheewin (sigh) with all fresh faces. (Previously known as Stalker the series.) It looks like pure pulp and I’m not wild about the plot but could be better than expected as it’s adapted from a novel. Cheewin is an okay director when he has an actual story to follow. 

Don’t Say No the series. Coming from the producers of TharnType this is the JaFirst vehicle many have been waiting for. Friends to lovers + a good boy/bad boy pairing on a sports romance foundation. It’s basketball so they tapped Meen as well (he’s semi-pro). The bad news? You get one guess as to who is writing the darn thing? Yep it’s MAME. So, ya know, expect some slam dunk kidnapping, a light dribbling of rape, and me turning into a basketcase. AKA... 

Will I have to live blog this series in order to survive it? That seems to be the only way I can. So probably. Which means the bad sports puns will continue. Look, if I’m suffering, SO ARE YOU! 

Rumors of a new YinWar vehicle The Best Story (mini series) coming in July. Also rumors that their previously announced Love Mechanics (full length series) has either been delayed, is facing money issues, or is moving studios, or all three. 

Breaking News 

DELAYED (I’m talking these three off the watch list until we get new airing dates) 

Love Area’s release was pushed out but it got a trailer. 

Golden Blood was supposed to drop Weds but comments in MDL report that it is delayed due to C19.  

Love’s Outlet (Taiwan) is supposed to have started a 50 episode run (only 3-5 min each, what utter nonsense). Sadly, this delay is due to a surge in cases in Taiwan which was doing so well, but also doesn’t have many inoculations. 

Bad Buddy has started workshopping at GMMTV actual. 

Kang Insoo’s BTS for Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding is SO FLIPPING CUTE. You have to watch it. Trust me, I don’t rec behind the scenes stuff often. 

Next Week Looks Like This: 

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

[archived-kin]

arcade date with levi (with a twist)

note from kin: the twist is that, rather than just meeting up and going to an arcade for a date, you and levi are actually characters from two different games in the arcade that come to life at night and go on cute romantic hijinks together! (wreck-it-ralph au essentially)

you, simeon, and luke are from a battle game, levi and his brothers are from a side scrolling platformer, solomon is the tutorial dude in an experimental alchemy game, diavolo is the owner of the arcade, and barbatos is the janitor! your character’s costume is basically the same as caesar’s from jojo’s bizarre adventure, and you’re kind of the pseudo-leader of your game’s characters

fandom: obey me!

character(s): gn!reader, leviathan, luke, simeon, lucifer, solomon

pairing(s): levi/reader

warning(s): guns, non-descriptive injury

genre: fluff

“Lights out!”

You cheer and hop out of your character selection box, stretching out your cramped limbs, then sitting down with a huff. Beside you, Simeon falls out onto the floor in a tangled heap of cape.

“Thank goodness,” He sighs, turning around and lying flat on his back. “Is it just me, or were our patrons picking me far more than usual today…?”

Luke carefully slides out of his own box, landing neatly on his feet with a little flourish. “Yeah, normally [Name]’s the crowd favourite…”

“It’s all those new promotional posters, I bet,” You hum, pulling off your headband and fanning yourself with one hand. “Seems like Diavolo’s really been pushing the angel series lately.”

“I wouldn’t call it a series,” Simeon says, chuckling slightly as he undoes his fancy cape. “There’s only two of us, after all.”

“Well, you’re the only ones out of us who actually have a theme between them,” says another one of your fellow fighters, taking off his hat and twirling it around a finger. “Anyway - [Name], shouldn’t you be going off to meet that loverboy of yours soon?”

“Oh, right!” You jump to your feet, dusting off your pants. Then you pause, raising your hands to pat at your face. “Wait, do my triangles look okay?”

“Your triangles look fine,” Simeon sighs, reaching over and tapping fondly at the little patches of paint on your cheek. “They always do.”

“Alright!” You adjust your scarf and throw the ends over your shoulder, tying your headband around your wrist. “I’ll be off, then! You guys know the drill, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, boss,” calls one of the younger fighters, hunched over in front of his box and scratching restlessly at the tip of his nose. “Not like we haven’t been doing it every day.”

“Don’t get cheeky,” You scold, but give his pompadour an affectionate pat on your way past anyway. It feels almost concerningly solid beneath your touch. “I’ll be back before morning!”

Your fellow fighters give a collective murmur of assent that’s abruptly cut off as you open the network door and hop into a wire. You’ve gone on this path so many times that it’s practically muscle memory at this point - six sections ahead, then to the left twice, a right at the purple junction, and then another four sections forwards.

The Tale of the Seven Lords’s network door is already open when you jump out of the wire, and the first thing you see when you poke your head in is Lucifer polishing one of the transport tubes used to get between levels. He’s discarded the fancy coat that he has to wear all the time as part of his character costume, and you don’t blame him - you couldn’t imagine even just running for five minutes or so with that one, let alone jumping about and punching at things for about fifteen minutes at a time, often longer.

“Lovely evening, Lucifer,” You greet brightly. He pauses in his work for a moment, then turns to look at you.

You’ve never gotten the feeling that he particularly likes you, but you’ve been trying your best to stay on his good side - after all, one must need the eldest’s blessing to date one of their younger brother. And your efforts must have paid off, too, because the corner of his mouth actually lifts slightly when he sees you grinning at him around the side of the door.

“[Name],” He says with a nod. “Levi’s up on Level Six.”

“Right!” You skip inside and shut the door behind you. “Good day?”

“About as good as it can get, I suppose,” He sighs, and you silently cheer. Willing small talk - that’s progress! “Most of our players for today picked either Belphie or Satan, so I got to take a break of sorts.”

You’ll never understand why some of characters in this arcade dislike actually being played so much - after all, isn’t that your entire purpose? Still, if Lucifer’s happy about not being picked, you’ll be happy for him as well. “That’s good!”

“Indeed,” He says, allowing a rare proper smile. He pulls back from the transport tube. “Up you go, then. Levi’s been restless all day - excited, no doubt.”

“He’s so cute,” You coo, adjusting your headband around your wrist to make sure it doesn’t slip off. “We go on dates all the time, but he’s still just as enthusiastic every time.”

“As Asmo likes to say, I suppose that each date should be just as exciting as the first,” Lucifer says evenly as you hop up into the transport tube, taking care not to get the freshly-polished metal grubby. “At any rate… Levi seems to be happy. So I suppose you must be doing something right.”

“What a wonder, right?” You reply with a laugh, giving him an enthusiastic thumbs up. “I’ll have him back before first light. Promise.”

“If you say so,” He says dryly, and stands back as the transport tube sends you up.

Just as Lucifer said, Levi is bustling about on Level Six, accompanied by Belphie, who’s having a whale of a time snoozing on one of the platforms and letting his brother do all the work restocking the power-up bricks. Levi abruptly straightens up as soon as you pop out of the transport tube, as if he can sense your presence immediately, and turns to see you waving happily up at him.

His face immediately lights up, and he hops down from the brick he’s standing on with a goofy jump sound effect, landing beside you with a slightly wobbly grin. Slightly out of breath, he greets, “Hi.”

“Hi,” You repeat back to him, kissing his cheek. From up on his platform, Belphie makes an exaggerated retching noise.

Levi absent-mindedly chucks an inactive supersize star behind him at the sound, and it hits Belphie directly in the forehead with a high-pitched ping, sending him toppling backwards off the platform. Luckily, fall damage isn’t programmed into this game, so he lands on his back with nothing but his pride hurt.

“Ready to go?” You ask, disregarding the rather thunderous-looking brother behind your partner. Levi nods eagerly.

“Yeah! Belphie can take the rest of my bricks. He’s barely done anything so far.”

“It’s not my fault so many people picked me today,” Belphie groans, getting up and catching the rest of the power-ups that Levi tosses his way. “I’m tired…”

“You’re always tired,” Levi replies, shaking his head. “Get Beel to do it if you’re so desperate to sleep.”

“Maybe I will,” is Belphie’s final retort before you and Levi disappear back down the transport tube.

Passing Lucifer at Level One again, the two of you slip out through the network door and hop into the wires. Your destination today is the Suspect Sorceror’s abode - one of your regular date spots, and one of your particular favourites.

Despite the fact that the two of you see each other pretty much every day as soon as it’s lights out, there’s always a fresh kind of thrill to the prospect of spending time with Levi, no matter how much you do. It’s kind of like your heart grows wings every time you’re around him - you can’t help but feel all light and fluttery inside.

You’ve never felt this way about anyone - heck, you didn’t even know it was possible for you to feel like this! Every character in this arcade is programmed with a set personality that’s simply impossible to break away from. In some cases, some characters are reduced to such one-dimensional traits that they can only ever respond to anything with one of a predictable and very limited number of possible reactions.

Incidentally, your code has established you as a rather boisterous and confident person who doesn’t always think before they punch, while Levi’s has always dictated him as rather self-conscious and insecure, but passionate about his interests. Neither of you have ever been programmed with anything close to the sort of AI that would be required for you to develop your own feelings separate of your codes - and yet, somehow, you have.

You’ve never pretended to understand your own existence. You’ve not very smart, after all; where your programmers gave you excellent fighting spirit and leadership skills and an unwavering sense of determined justice, they seem to have forgotten to give you very many brain cells. Even so, you’re fully aware of the impossibility of the nature of yours and Levi’s relationship.

Still, your philosophy has always been that worrying about the little things never benefits anyone in the long run. Well, this might not be a little thing, but if there’s anything you’re good at, it’s goofing off to avoid getting too dismal.

You hop out of the wire as soon you’ve reach your destination, landing neatly on your feet with your arms spread wide in a rather flamboyant flourish. Levi scrambles to follow suit, but loses his balance on his way out and immediately starts heading directly for the floor; you quickly dart forward and catch him by the arms.

Levi’s panicked eyes dart up to meet your own, and before you’re even fully aware of what you’re doing, you deftly lift him into the air and give him a smooth twirl, then set him on solid ground once more. His knees immediately nearly give out beneath him, and you have to reach forward to catch him again before he takes a tumble.

“Wh-wh-wh—” Levi’s entire face is a bright, burning red. You’re pretty sure you can actually see smoke coming out of his ears. “You— huh?”

It’s just about the cutest thing you’ve ever seen; you can’t help but lean forward to plant a kiss on the very tip of his nose. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to have been the right move, because Levi immediately goes stock still, then abruptly slaps his hands to his face.

“You alright?” You ask, crouching down with him as he slowly sinks down to the ground, practically steaming. You can’t help but laugh, feeling a little bad for flustering him so much. “Caught you off-guard, huh? Sorry.”

Levi shakes his head silently, then finally pulls his hands away from his face. His blush has calmed somewhat - it had been so aggressive that it almost looked like a rash before, but now it’s more of a sort of reddish dust - and he’s looking you in the eyes again.

“Y-y-you can’t just do stuff like that out of nowhere,” He says finally, leaning forward and dropping his forehead on your shoulder. “I have to prepare myself first…”

“Aw, that’s no fun,” You wrap your arms around his shoulders and rock him back and forth slightly. “You'll get used to it eventually!”

“You’re going to give me a heart attack,” He mumbles into the sleeve of your jacket, though you do notice that he’s deliberately pressing himself closer to you. “Well, you would if I had a heart.”

“You’re so cute,” You chuckle, pressing another kiss to the crown of his head. “C’mon, we’ve still got a date to finish!”

You give Levi another five minutes or so to get his face back to its usual colour and calm himself down, and he’s pretty much back to normal by the time the two of you step hand-in-hand into Solomon’s little alchemy hut - you with a wide grin on your face and him with a slightly shaky smile. Unfortunately, it seems that date night isn’t going to be going smoothly today, because Solomon is currently being held at gun-point by a character you’ve never seen before.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” crows the strange little man, brandishing one of his two revolvers in yours and Levi’s direction. You instinctively step in front of your partner, steeling your fists in case you need to fight. “Two lovebirds, is it?”

“Evening,” Solomon greets, not looking in the least bit fazed by the barrel he’s currently staring down.

“Who's this?” You ask in reply.

Solomon sighs and leans forward on his counter, ignoring the threatening click of the gun that the little man has pointed at him. “He’s from that shoot-em-up game a couple consoles down. No idea why he’s decided to show up here.”

You wrinkle your nose, reaching behind you to give Levi a reassuring tap on the arm before stepping forward. The little man watches you cautiously, keeping one gun carefully trained directly on your head.

“Your bullets aren’t going to work on me,” You say matter-of-factly. “I haven’t been programmed to take damage when a bullet hits me.”

“Won’t work on you, eh?” He raises an eyebrow. “How about your beau over there?”

You narrow your eyes. “He isn’t any of your business.”

Of course, you know full well that Levi’s game features projectiles that he certainly takes damage from, and while you don’t know if that extends to bullets from this man’s guns, you don’t want to risk it. You, on the other hand, have only ever taken damage from the punches and kicks your fellow fighters throw at you - or the beams of light Simeon and Luke shoot for their respective ultimates.

The man grins, and you note that he’s missing one of his front teeth. “So you won’t mind if I just fire a little bit at him—”

Your arm shoots forward before you even fully register it, and the man careens backwards with a cry as your fist lands directly in his face. The gun he’d been raising to point at Levi clatters to the floor and lets out a shot into one of the walls; Solomon winces.

“You’re a real piece of work, aren’t you?” You scowl, striding forward and planting a foot on the little man’s stomach. He struggles under your boot’s heel, cursing. “First you spoil our date, and now you’re threatening my partner. You’re really starting to piss me off.”

“If you’re going to start a fight, take it outside,” Solomon intervenes, shaking his head. “I’ve got far too many glass bottles in here to risk letting you have a battle in here.”

“Doesn’t matter where I fight as long as I get a good punch in,” You smirk, folding your arms across your chest slightly and glaring down at the man as he scrabbles at your boot, attempting to wrench it off of him. “So, what’ll it be? Either you get your guns and scram, or we can brawl right here and now.”

The man responds by reaching to grab the gun he’d been aiming at Solomon earlier and firing a shot at your face. You jerk back in surprise, foot lifting, and he immediately scrambles out from beneath your foot, pointing up at you with a gleeful laugh.

“See how you like that!” He exclaims. “Not so cocky now, huh?”

You slowly reach up to press your fingers to where the bullet struck you, directly in the forehead. Solomon raises an eyebrow, while Levi calls out your name frantically, stepping forward with his hands outstretched.

You shake your head as the man laughs, holding up a hand to stop Levi. “Stay there. I’ve got this under control.”

“Huh?” The man’s grin fades as you pass your hand over the hole, only for it to be gone when your hand moves away. “What the—?”

“Didn’t I tell you?” You ask, looming over him as he frantically attempts to back away. He gulps, fumbling with his gun, but before he can try to fire another round, you knock the gun out of his hand with a swift punch. “Your bullets don’t work on me, pal.”

He turns as if to run, but your leg immediately darts out to trip him, and he tumbles forward onto the boards of Solomon’s hut with a muffled yell. This time you plant your foot directly on his neck, setting a single hand on your hip.

“I’m only going to say this once,” You begin, staring him dead in the eyes. “So listen up - got it?”

The man attempts to protest, but your heel only presses harder into his throat, and he has no choice but to give his gurgled assent. You smile, but it’s a menacing expression.

“This game is under my protection,” You say firmly. “You don’t come in here and start threatening to shoot up the place - and you most definitely don’t point the gun at my partner. Got it?”

He gurgles again. You nod in satisfaction. “Then we’re all in understanding here. Now scram.”

You lift your foot, and he immediately fumbles to get to his feet. You stay on your toes, prepared for him to attempt to go for his guns again, but he only gives you one last terrified look before turning and booking it out the door, tail between his legs.

You stare after him at the swinging door. The hut is silent for a moment more.

Finally, Levi says, eyes wide, “I think that was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.”

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers Lunatic Parade Special Pamphlet Short Story: The 12 Vampires and the Magic Lamp [ENG Translation]

Original title: １２人のヴァンパイアと魔人のランプ

Source: Diabolik Lovers Lunatic Parade Limited Edition Special Pamphlet

Summary: After the Parade has come to an end, Yui receives a special ‘Magic Lamp’ from Count Walter’s butler which can be used to grant a single wish. As she tries to refuse the gift, the Sakamaki, Mukami and Tsukinami brothers promptly stop her and begin to fight over who has the right to use this valuable treasure. She escapes, but the boys chase her around the city, each of them determined to have their own wish granted. ーー And so, their game of tag begins.

“Chichinashi! Where are you hidin’!?”

“Oooi~ Bitch-chan~! Be a good girl and show yourself?”

With the Parade having come to an end, Ayato-kun and Laito-kun’s voices echo through a now quiet and nearly deserted Glimmer Street. While hiding in the shadow of the buildings, a sof sigh fell from my lips. 

“...What to do? I have to hurry and go to Bernstein Castle...”

Right now, I am on the run not only from Ayato-kun and Laito-kun, but from a total of 12 different Vampires. 

All of this happened because I obtained the golden, shimmering ‘magic lamp’ I’m currently holding in my hands.

ーー It happened after I managed to regain my heart with everyone’s help.

As I was about to leave this city to return to the Human World, I was approached by a butler working for Count Walter. He handed me this ‘Magic Lamp’ as an apology for the trouble his Master had caused me. According to what I was told, it is an extremely valuable treasure which will grant any one wish.

Furthermore...The Sakamaki, Mukami and Tsukinami brothers were there to witness the whole ordeal.

“I just can’t accept something so valuable. ...I’ll give this back to you, okay?”

As I said that in hope of returning to Bernstein castle afterwards, they stopped me in disbelief. 

And then claimed that if I did not want it, they would use it instead. ...This resulted into a fight and before they knew it, I had made a run for it, taking the lamp with me.

ーー And that is how our game of tag started.

I am not quite sure what everyone would wish for, but I believe we don’t need this thing if it can fulfill one person’s wish only.

“Heeh...So that’s your reasoning. Well, I’m pretty sure it’s useless though...”

“ーー S-Shuu-san...!?”

“Not just Shuu. I’m here too. Geez, you really made us go through the trouble of lookin’ for you.”

When I raised my head, Subaru-kun was standing next to me as well. ...No, it wasn’t just the two of them. All of the Sakamaki brothers had gathered, from Ayato-kun and Laito-kun whom I believed had walked past me earlier, to Kanato-kun and even Reiji-san. 

“Hehe...You’re pretty desperate, Subaru.”

“I mean, Subaru-kun’s going to wish for Bitch-chan to fall head over heels in love with him, right~? No wonder he’s so desperate, nfu~”

“D-Don’t be makin’ up lies! My wish is a new coffin!”

“All I want...is to live surrounded by an endless amount of sweets!”

“In that case, I’m gonna wish for a huge load of takoyaーー No, actually, might not be bad to have Chichinashi turned into a Chichiari*.”

--> チチアリ or ‘Chichiari’ would be the opposite of ‘Chichinashi’, literally meaning ‘to have boobs’.

“Eh!? M-Me...!?”

“You can’t, Ayato-kun. I’ll be one turning Bitch-chan into a voluptuous, young woman after all~*”

--> He literally describes it as a ナイスバディのオネーサン or ‘Nice body no Onee-san’. Onee-san is used to refer to women who are older than you are but since Laito-kun is only 17 in human years, it would apply to a girl in her early 20s as well.

“G-Geez! Cut it out, you two...!”

“...You guys really came up with some bullshit. If it can grant any wish, I’d make it so the Old Man never bothers me again...Pwaah...”

And so, they began to slowly close in on me. The very moment they reached for the lamp, Reiji-san - who had been the only one remaining quiet so far - suddenly raised his voice.

“Would you care explain this to me? ...Because you kept touching the lamp with those sweaty palms, there are now fingerprints all over it! Come on, it is not too late yet! Put these on at once!”

While frantically shouting at me, he threw a pair of white gloves my way. Surprised by his menacing look, I put them on as asked, and Reiji-san finally nodded his head in agreement. 

“I am disappointed...Do none of you grasp the true value of this lamp?”

“Haah? Are we really not allowed to touch it with our bare hands...?”

“It looks pretty normal from the outside though~ I’m pretty sure I’ve seen a similar example in Kanato-kun’s room...?”

“Yes. ...Well, that one isn’t capable of granting wishes though.”

Reiji-san sighed deeply at Ayato-kun, Latio-kun and Kanato-kun’s consecutive comments.

“...Only two of these ‘magic lamps’ exist in this world, making them very valuable from a historic point of view. Furthermore, the lamp may disappear once it has granted one’s wish, therefore it revolts me you lot are even considering putting it to use...”

While the other guys seemed little interested in Reiji-san’s emotion-laden speech, he once again spoke up.

“Well, I doubt you will ever understand.  ーー Especially you, whom I did not expect to even join us in the first place...”

“...Shut up. Who cares?”

Shuu-san calmly brushed off Reiji-san’s taunt as if it was nothing. 

“Hehe...Seems like he doesn’t give a shit ‘bout what you say.”

“Fufu, take a look at that frustrated expression on Reiji’s face. ...This might be the most interesting thing I’ve seen in quite some time.”

“Geez, cut it out you two~ Don’t you feel bad for Reiji~?”

“Feel bad? ...Hehe. Pretty sure your words hurt even more.”

The other four brothers who had been listening in on their conversation continued to chuckle...Which eventually caused Shuu-san to burst out laughing as well.

Seems like this sight dealt a pretty hefty blow to Reiji-san’s pride, as he stood there shaking violently from sheer anger.

I better make a run for it before things take a turn for the worse...

I used the fact they had suddenly completely forgotten about me to my advantage, and left the place at once.

“...Phew. Thank god. Seems like they didn’t notice.”

I eventually found myself on Aizen Alley, one of the streets located in the very back of Glimmer street. To be honest, I wasn’t too thrilled about having to pass through there, but if I wanted to head to the castle while avoiding Ayato-kun and the others, I had no other choice. 

“Hehe...Too bad. You can’t escape us First Bloods.”

“Hand over that lamp you are holding at once.”

I gasp at the voices resounding from the darkness. Those who appeared were Shin-kun and Carla-san.

“I-I can’t do that...! I believe it is wrong to use the lamp for one’s own selfish pursuits...”

“If we give it back, it’ll just get thrown into some old, dusty storage room, right? In that case, I’m pretty sure the lamp would be happier to have someone use it as well?”

“B-But...”

“Come on, don’t hesitate. You’re keeping Nii-san waiting as well. Can’t you hurry up?”

“...T-Then, what would you wish for, Shin-kun?”

While snorting at my desperate question, he answered with a smile.

“That should be obvious. I’d make sure those filthy Vampires disappear off the face of the Demon World at onーー”

“ーー No. We want cured ham.”

“N-Nii-san...?”

“We shall change all food in this world to cured ham. That is my...No, the dearest wish of all First Bloods.”

“R-Right...”

Carla-san would blurt that out with a straight face. It is the very definition of a selfish wish but I wonder if Shin-kun is truly okay with it? ...I look over at Shin-kun while wondering that, seeing him look at Carla-san in utter defeat.

“...Well then, woman. Hand it over right now.”

“You’re actually hoping to fulfill that wish...!?”

“Yes, of course.”

All food in this world will turn into cured ham...That is just simply pushing it one step too far. It pains me to have to deceive him...But I decided to tell a certain lie.

“H-Have you already had the chance to try the cured ham galette which is said to be this city’s speciality...?”

“...Pardon?”

“It’s a limited edition galette which is available at stores only after the Parade has ended. While passing by the shops earlier, I noticed that only very few were left, so I figured I would inform you just in case...”

While there was no guaranteeing he would believe me, I wanted to make Carla-san forget about the lamp, even if just for a few minutes. With that sole purpose in mind, I continued my act.

“...Let us go, Shin. Just leave this woman be.”

“W-Wait, Nii-san! You’re just going to believe her on her word!?”

“We will know whether she was speaking the truth or not once we get to the shop. Even if she had been lying, capturing a human woman is child’s play to me. However, if she has been speaking the truth...”

“If we don’t hurry, they’ll run out of cured ham galettes, right? ...Right, I understand.”

Realizing there was no point in trying to reason with him, Shin-kun reluctantly trailed behind Carla-san as they left. 

I truly am sorry...While internally apologizing to both of them, I headed towards my desitation. 

“Haah...I can finally see it in the distance...”

Some time after I bid farewell with the Tsukinami brothers, I finally got close to Bernstein castle.

“Oh no...I can’t approach the castle like this...”

After all, four familiar figures were standing lined up by the castle’s gate. Those are the Mukami brothers...Of course, with Ruki-kun standing in the middle. As to be expected of a strategist like him. If I wanted to return the lamp to its owner, I would have to make it back here eventually. They were one step ahead of me.

“Eve...Found you...”

“...!! A-Azusa-kun!?”

When I timidly turned around at the voice suddenly calling for me from behind, Azusa-kun - who was talking to Ruki-kun and the others up until seconds ago - suddenly stood right in front of me. 

“Ahー M-neko-chan! So this is where you’ve been~!”

“Che...Ya sure took yer sweet time. You’re damn late, Sow!”

“...Calm down, you guys. If we make too much of a ruckus, we’ll attract the attention of the others.”

When I raised my voice, it caught everyone’s attention and without a chance to slip away, I was soon surrounded by the four Mukami brothers.

“I’m sorry, guys. But I won’t hand over this lamp to anyone...!”

After jumping the gun like that, Ruki-kun let out a disappointed sigh.

“...Seems like you have got the wrong idea. I simply want to look after the lamp for you.”

“Eh...? You don’t want to use it to grant your own wish?”

“Of course not. If a Vampire such as myself holds on to the lamp, it will decrease the chances of one of the other guys stealing it.”

“You say that buuuut~ ...Ruki-kun, aren’t you actually hoping to use that lamp to renovate our manor~?”

“Your own exclusive study room off-limits for anyone else, and a play room filled with nothing but chess boards...Hehe, as to be expected of Mr. Eldest son.”

“Kuh...! Don’t assume such things. All I want to do is to make the home we have received from that man the most comfortable for you all to live in...!”

While Ruki-kun chuckles sarcastically after his true intentions are exposed by his siblings, Azusa-kun reached out for me.

“Listen, Eve...The four of us talked it out and...We’ve decided to use the lamp together with Ruki as our representative...”

“Ruki-kun’s so mean, you know~! I was actually going to wish for a hundred year’s worth of Vongole Bianco.” 

“I was gonna ask for the power to manipulate the weather...But my idea got shot down at once. ...Haah...And here I thought I could make field work a lil’ easier on myself...”

“I just want to be with Eve so...I didn’t really have any particular wishes...”

“Is that so...? It’s really admirable of you all to hold back on your own desires.”

Even though the younger brothers were voicing their complaints, it didn’t seem like they were going to force their own wishes through. I’m sure it is because Ruki-kun intends to make a wish which benefits the whole family, as the deep bond of trust between the four brothers somehow made me feel warm inside.

However...That still does not mean I will give them the lamp. 

“Uhm, you see...It just doesn’t sit right with me to only have one person’s wish granteーー!?”

The second I felt as if something was closing on me, a large sound resounded from the nearby buildings before they collapsed.

“...!? This magic...”

“The Tsukinami’s...perhaps? Look, over there...!”

“Ugeh! They look hella pissed off! Did ya do somethin’!?”

“Uu...W-Well...”

I could feel my heart drop at Yuma-kun’s words. Carla-san and Shin-kun must be upset about the lie I ended up telling them back then...

“Say, what should we do!? At this rate, we’ll all be turned to dust...!”

Kou-kun’s exclamation made me panic as I rushed towards the two brothers. Either way, I just had to apologize as quickly as possible...However, I was stopped by the Sakamaki brothers before I could reach them.

“You’ve got nowhere to run now...Oi, hand me the lamp already!”

“What are you saying, Subaru? I will be using the lamp. You’re in the way!”

“Hell no! I’m gonna have my wish granted!”

“Ehー Let me have the honor for once~ We can only use it once and my wish is obviously the best.”

Shuu-san joins in a little late as well and before I know it, the Sakamaki, Mukami and Tsukinami brothers are all gathered just like when we started off.

Glares were being exchanged here and there as a hostile atmosphere fills the air. I can no longer stop them all by myself. In that case, I will have to rely on an outer source to back me up. I didn’t want to use the lamp to have a wish granted but...This is the only way to stop their fight.

While rubbing the side of the lamp, I spoke up with a loud voice.

“Release lanterns into the sky once more!”

White smoke emitted from the lamp and soon after ー Poof! The lamp disappeared with a popping sound. 

When I look up at the sky, I once again witness the same magical sight of countless lanterns floating through the sky, just like they did a few hours ago. ...At some point, their quarreling voices had gone quiet as well. 

“You...Haah. You really are a foolish woman.”

“Ya really think we’re happy with this crap? Geez. Ya really used the lamp for some useless shit...”

“...Eh...?”

Shuu-san and Yuma-kun’s remarks catch me off guard as I froze on the spot.

“...Livestock, seems like you did not grasp the true value of that lamp.”

“Exactly...To think a great hidden treasure of the Demon World has been lost over such a ridiculous wish...!”

Ruki-kun and Reiji-san voiced their complaints as well.

“B-But...! All of you were moved by the lanterns, no...?”

I frantically reached out for the others, hoping that at least one of them would agree with me. ...That was all I wished for, yet...

“I mean, sure? But to be honest, I didn’t need to see it a second time...”

“...I’d hate to have to agree with a mere Vampire...But I’ll admit that Kou is right this one time. You feel the same, don’t you, Nii-san?”

“...My cured ham...”

“Too bad, Shin-san...Seems like Carla-san can’t hear you right now...”

“Ah-aah...I was looking forward to seeing a sexy Bitch-chan as well~”

“Me too. I was already making plans for which sweet I would try first...!”

“Fuck! There goes my plan of gettin’ a coffin in which nobody can bother me...!”

All I got in return were negative responses and sighs.

“...Guess I’ve got no other choice then! Oi, Chichinashi! Let me suck your blood to make up for it!”

“W-Wait! That’s way too sudden...!”

“Shut up! That’s the only thing which can calm this anger inside of me!”

While Ayato-kun closed in, I looked around me in search of someone to save me, but all I could see were a bunch of eyes glaring at me from the darkness. At this rate, they will all take my blood. ...There is no way I would come out of that alive. Realizing I had to make a run for it...I dashed away at full-speed.

“Ah! Wait, M-neko-chan!!”

“Geez, Bitch-chan! I’m not scary though~!”

The many lanterns floating through the night sky was a sight to behold, but unfortunately, I did not have the leaway to enjoy that right now. After all, I had to flee from their approaching footsteps and voices calling out for me as soon as possible.

I didn’t want them to fight and while I never expected them to become friends, I wished they would at least try and be on neutral terms with each other. 

That wish was most definitely granted. Right now, they had put the strained relationship between the different families aside to join forces.

However, knowing their shared goal is my blood...doesn’t make me happy at all.

ーー The Demon World’s Parade safely came to an end, but my night had only just begun.

ーー END ーー

[shyrose57]

Funfact!

Tommy talking to his pieces to guide them and bring out the best in them was semi inspired by Howls Moving Castle, the book atleast because Sophie does something with magic/sewing very similarly!

I also really liked the idea of Tommy being something special because he's just that, Tommy. Human through and through.

The way he just exists with magic, ever since young is just such a nice idea to me. Just little baby Tommy bright eyed nestling himself up in clementines discarded fabric, because it feels so right. Like something just resonates about the way mama clems fabric just feels.

and Clem would just find her little Tommy in those fabrics, some even she had respect for, looking content like the fabric was part of him.

So she makes a sewing project with him, a blanket for the night and then a pillow and sheets and his favourite stuffed animal, a cow with mushrooms coming of his back, henry.

he still sometimes cries when he sees henry, because henry has so many memories of his moms. Of having nightmares and slowly walking towards their room ("Henry had a nightmare" "aww come here") of his first clothing article(s), matching sweater with henry motive for all of them.

He remebers so much and he's afraid he will forget it all.

Where Clara's eyes really that shade of blue?what shape was Clementines nose again?

Sometimes when things get too stressed he would take out a picture album and comb through the memories, desperately clinging on to each of them.

Ranboo notices and can deeply relate, loosing memories can be scarier than any beast.

So he makes a journal specifically for Tommy, it red and in the middle, the piece holding everything closed is a little cow with mushrooms poking out of it's head. Ranboo has seen the way Tommy looks at his super secret stuffed animal, although he isn't exactly sure why he looked so sad and jet so happy, maybe he will remeber oneday.

That Tommy gave him a pen with carved in alliums can be left unsaid -🤡

Everytime I read 'fun fact' on this website, I walk a tightrope above an abyss with unfathomable horrors, waiting for me to peer down.

But this isn't bad at all!! Seems pretty neat actually, I didn't know that!

And there's something special about simplicity in a world of complications, isn't there? Tommy's unique partially because he isn't, really. He's just someone with an open mind and a big heart, right where he needs to be to go furthest with it.

Also!!

Baby Tommy sleeping best when he's wrapped in the fabrics-particularly, the Starlight ones Clara brings back, he's always loved it the most, and it almost seems brighter when he's wrapped in it. Toddler Tommy stumbling his way into Clementine's basket of fabrics and just being absolutely delighted.

Clementine starts teaching Tommy how to sew by originally starting him off making stuff for Henry. The little stuffed cow has a tiny box-wardrobe, next to his basket bed(which he once shared with his young owner), filled with makeshift clothes that start off clumsy, slowly transitioning into the detailed pieces he makes today.

Ranboo makes him a journal!! The pages are always warm, in the same way your chest is when you get that nice fuzzy feeling, and the spine has a little gold needles 'sewing' it together painted on.

(There's a little space in the attic of his home. Boxes of strange fabric tucked away, still humming, still alight, even all but forgotten as they are. Small toys gilded with gold, and sewn together with silver and love. Flowers yet to wilt, a familiar perfume still lingering. Story books with worn covers, some in english, others in a language that's name was never learned, for all he knows it as his own. A dress, a shining gem, a pair of shoes.

There's a little space in the attic of his house, the memory of a childhood he'd let go of, waiting to be found again)

[bigteefsmallbrain]

General Soul Eater HCs please

Soul Eater: General headcanons

Death the Kid:

He’s an art critic

Hear me out

He is obsessed with symmetry, and loves the beauty in it

So when he sees something non-symmetrical, especially in art, he can’t help but to critique it

May go as far as to send a personal letter to the artist (If they’re alive) about how offensive it is that they created something so asymmetrical

If he can’t send a letter to the artist, he’ll send one to the owner/museum and request it be taken down, while listing reasons why it’s horrible.

Anything he writes has an even amount of letters and words

Be that his test answers

Essays

Letters

Diary entry

Speaking of diary entries, he definitely has one

But it’s actually just a catalogue of symmetrical things he’s seen

He puts photos into it and writes about how beautiful it was to see

He doesn’t care what it is much, just that it was beautiful

Meaning he takes photos of people too

Which can be unnerving at times

He’s probably taken a photography class before, or at the very least is self taught

Literally has a photo album of things he views are beautiful, but non symmetrical and he would die if anyone found it

Like a particular sunset with uneven hills

Or a flower with one too many petals

Definitely has an 8 ball, not a magic one, just an 8 ball, it’s placed on a velvet pillow in his room and he frequently polishes it

Elizabeth Thompson:

Makes several backup plans as a way to cope

Especially after dealing with an experience with a ghost

She has notebooks full of them, labeled and detailed

At one point she started putting them in alphabetical order but stopped immediately when she realized Kid’s perfectionist habits were rubbing off on her

She practices acting in the mirror

Usually so she can charm a man into dating her

But also to con people

She used to be a “Street rat” and that thought of ending up on the streets again constantly plagues her mind

She takes full advantage of the “Rich life”

Shopping sprees

Quality makeup

Salons and spa days

The works

She lets Patty’s thought that she knows everything get to her head

The fact alone that her sister believes in her that much is enough to make her a bit egotistical

And Patty’s admiration for the girl makes it ten times worse

She literally doesn’t care if she ends up being wrong because she’ll just be right next time anyways

So stubborn in that aspect

Patricia Thompson:

She likes dark humor

You can’t convince me otherwise, you actually can’t, I have evidence

She made an origami Giraffe, and broke its neck

Laughed when Kid said he “wants to die”

She literally pokes him with a stick when he’s depressed

She likes dark humor, and probably looks up jokes to tell others just for kicks

She’s secretly sadistic, and likes scaring her sister and others

She may act naïve and innocent, but she is anything but

She definitely has, more than once, banged on Liz’s door at 3AM just to hear her sister squeal like a little girl

Honestly, she probably purposefully gets their pose wrong, just to see her sisters annoyance and laugh when Kid gets smacked

She likes origami

Probably first got into it because of the paper ninja stars

Then just found it relaxing

She most likely makes the ninja stars mostly, and keeps a box of her origami creations somewhere

Has in the past, and will not hesitate to do so again, beat someone up for kicks or just to destress

Patty has two faces, the childlike innocent one, and the insane anger one

So it’s not too far fetched to say that she’ll hide her anger till she can corner someone alone and beat them up

Or that she gets bored and decides to do so

I wouldn’t be too surprised if her sister occasionally joined as well

Maka Albarn:

She’s a Harry Potter nerd and you can’t convince me otherwise

She loves the concept of magic

Loves the dynamic between Ron and Hermione, though feels a bit of Deja vu thinking about it

Probably used to write fanfiction, but in a way that made it seem like it was actually part of the story

She will hit you if you mention it

Definitely the type to compare books to their movie counterparts

Not in like, a critic way, but she will definitely rant about the differences, or how a character looks exactly like she imagined, or if they didn’t put in a particular scene she liked in the book

Forces Soul into movie nights, but it’s only the movie counterparts to her books

I can see her forcing everyone into a group study session

Be super organized about it, and setting it up in a way so that no one can refuse

She probably has specific ways for everyone to study

Like having Black☆Star work out while studying so he retains the knowledge better

Or setting up the session in a symmetrical way so Kid doesn’t freak out about it

She writes letters to her mom, as a coping mechanism for when her emotions get to be a little too much

Like when she’s having a bad day

Or if she’s particularly peeved at something Soul did

She writes a lot more letters when it comes around the time of her mom's birthday or death anniversary

She likes the thought of an old timey romance, and often listens to songs that give off that kind of feel

She really likes “It’s Been a Long, Long Time”, it’s one of her favorites

She also likes the old Disney songs, like “Once Upon a Dream” and “So This Is Love”

She would be so embarrassed if anyone found out though, especially if it was her dad or Soul

She isn’t quite sure why she’s so worried about Soul finding out though

Speaking of, she half realizes, half doesn’t with anyone's romantic feelings, including her own

She’ll fantasize about getting a love letter or having someone present her with a bouquet of roses

But if it actually happens she’s like “Oh, thanks friend!”

She knows the behaviors, she just can’t put two and two together

They would have to be extremely blunt, no over dramatic confession, just “I’m in love with you and want to be romantically involved with you”

She reads dictionaries for fun

She really likes to read out of date dictionaries, just to see what words and slang existed back then

She also highlights words she likes and uses them frequently on accident

She has most definitely yelled “I have cupid’s kettlebells*! I’m not flat!” at Soul before

Soul Evans:

Bottles. Up. His. Emotions.

He’s influenced by “toxic masculinity” and fully believes that being vulnerable in a serious way “isn’t cool”

He will bottle everything up so deep down inside that it seems impossible for it to surface

Feelings of inferiority to others? Bottled

Want to cry or break down? Nope, gotta be cool

Started crying in front of someone and can’t stop? He’s not crying, you’re clearly blind

Speaking of crying, once he starts, and I mean genuinely starts, it’s so hard to get him to calm down, and even then the tears don’t stop

Sometimes he’ll start to freak out and send himself into a panic attack because the tears just won’t stop

He’s that influenced by the thought of being vulnerable

On a lighter note, he does adore playing the piano, but the only person he’ll play for is Maka

He swears it’s not favoritism, and it’s partially true, but favoritism does play a large role in it

He frequently drags Maka to his room to show her a new piece he put together

And if he notices her feeling a little down that day, he’ll start playing a song that he knows she likes

He definitely knows about her love for old timey romance songs and is very embarrassed to admit a lot of the pieces he constructs are based off of that

The walls are p a p e r t h i n , he can hear her music through the walls

He secretly finds it adorable when he catches her listening to it because she’ll be dancing around to it

He also frequently finds himself thinking about those moments

He’s the stereotype that parents tell little girls about, with how boys will bully their crush

He’s a lot more playful and easy going, but still teases Maka, so much

Unlike Maka, he’s fully aware of his feelings, and acknowledges them, but bottles it up, only letting himself entertain the thought every once in a while

He jabs at Maka’s lack of “Cupids Kettlebells” as a way to try and ensure she won’t fall for him, because he doesn’t know what he’ll do if she does

He reads the same dictionaries that Maka does, not for fun, but so he can know just what the actual h e l l she’s saying

More than once he’s had to look up a particular word or phrase online because he can’t find it in the dictionary

“What the hell? It’s an old Victorian saying!? Where does she keep finding this stuff!?”

Subconsciously, as time goes on, he starts using old phrases as well, he was so embarrassed the first time he got caught saying “Keep your idle daddles* off of her!” when defending someone from a perv.

Black☆Star:

Is so unbelievably selfish with food

It’s not even funny

He will stab someone if they reach for his food

He surprisingly eats healthy most of the time though?

Says something like “I have to otherwise I’ll never surpass the gods!”

The only person who could ever p o s s i b l y steal his food is Tsubaki, but even that’s pushing it

He has the weirdest dreams, and I mean weird

Dreams like being turned into a potato and being cooked, mashed, and devoured by Tsubaki herself

He didn’t talk to her for a week after that dream, and refused to eat potatoes for a full year because “You never know if it could be a person turned into a potato!”

He was also very offended when Tsubaki ate potatoes during that time period

He takes things very literally

Like up above, if someone does something in a dream, he acts like it was real

Or if someone makes a joke about fighting, he will drag them outside to fight

He’s secretly scared of Tsubaki

But it’s for literally the stupidest reason

And he fully believes that because of it she could fight god and win

She used to have a pet cockroach

One of the flying ones

And he is so unbelievably scared of them, because for some reason they just don’t die, and they have w i n g s

So the fact she owned one as a pet scares him so bad even though it was literally for only a week

He has a soft spot for children

He doesn’t really know why

He just does

Is secretly really good with kids

Literally the definition of dad material

He has his flaws but still

Little kids are the only people who could steal his food and get away with it

Every. Time. and it makes the others so mad

Tsubaki Nakatsukasa:

What can I say, she’s perfect

She probably receives love letters

Reads them over when she’s feeling sad

Likes to keep them in a shoebox she painted

She definitely paints to unwind and relax

Likes to go outside and paint the sunrise/sunset

Takes note of beautiful scenery so she can come back in her free time and paint it

She probably draws/sketches too

Carries a sketchbook with her

More than likely has drawn Black☆Star doing something

Like napping or training

She’d never show him though, too scared of inflating his ego or giving him the wrong idea

Stress bakes/cooks

We know she cooks

Liz took advantage of it and pretended Tsubaki’s cooking was her own

So we know she does

Sometimes painting/drawing doesn’t cut it

So she heads to the kitchen and bakes away her worries and unwinds

The main reason Tsubaki would possibly be spared from Black☆Star’s stabbing habit with food is because she cooks all the meals

She makes sure everyone is comfortable around her

She’ll go as far as to learn someone's customs and practice cooking their unique cuisine just to make sure that they feel comfortable and safe in her presence

She radiates mom friend energy

She’s perfect mom material, perfect wife material, perfect in general honestly

*Cupid's Kettlebells is a old term for a woman's bust

*Idle daddles is a old term for hands

I Hope you like these general headcanons for the main seven! You didn’t say which characters you’d like to see, so I played it safe by putting the main characters! Thank you for the ask!

[genshin-no-simp]

Childe x Reader

Pairing: Childe x You/Reader (Female)

Warnings: character death. Sad ending.

-------------

Childe's P.O V.

(F/N) (L/N) daughter of the (L/N) clan in the Liyue Qixing. They are the incredibly powerful and their fortune is nothing to scoff at either. (Y/N)'s family was in charge of maintaining and guarding a special jewel. Its said that it can grant the owner immeasurable power. My lips curled into a smirk. I don't know if something like that really exists but it's my job to find out and "borrow" it. It shouldn't be too hard to get what I need from her. I smirked again leaning my arm against the railing of the balcony I was on. I looked down at the city streets, watching and observing the ever so popular and beautiful (Y/N).

Normal P.O.V.

You hurriedly turned the corner and your face came into contact with something. You stumbled back rubbing your face.

"Oh I'm so sorry! I wasn't look-" you looked up to see possibly one of the most good looking man you've ever seen. You felt your cheeks turn red, "-ing where I was going." You ended with a soft voice. You heard the male chuckle.

"It's alright, I wasn't exactly paying attention myself." He gave you a warm smile which you couldn't help but return one.

"I haven't seen you around and I know everyone." You said peeking up into his face curiously.

"Oh I just came to Liyue recently. I heard an interesting story, that I just had to look into." He looked down at you. You hummed softly.

"Well there are many stories to Liyue, which one have you heard? Or rather which one has piqued your interest?"

"I heard about this jewel that can grant anyone great powers. Do you know of it?" His eyes flickered mischievously but went unnoticed by you.

"I have actually. It just so happens to be in the care of my family and it also will be on display during the festival in two months." You casually divulged this information, "so if you stick around till then you'll be able to see it, in all its glory."

"That's sounds wonderful. Though I hope I don't have to wait two months to see you again, Miss." He flashed you a playful smile and the blush you had earlier arose once again.

"Who knows? Maybe if you're lucky." You winked spinning on your heel, "Its (Y/N) by the way, enjoy your stay in Liyue."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

And indeed he didn't have to wait two months to see you. To keep seeing you. Despite only seeing you to get close to the jewel he couldn't help but get close to you too. The day of the New Farem Festival was coming around fast. There was only one week to go. You were currently with him at a corner shop drinking some tea.

"So Childe are you getting excited for the festival?" You spoke over your tea.

"I am, the festivities are sure going to be lively." Unbeknownst to his hidden agenda you smiled and nodded.

"Theres always so much good food and pretty clothes, I can't wait." You giggled. Childe could feel his heart flutter, it made what he needed to do harder but he would accomplish his mission no matter what. Even if it meant hurting you.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

The day of the New Farem has arrived. You dressed in a beautiful (F/C) floral hanfu with your hair tied up. You promised to meet up with Childe before the presentation of the jewel, naturally there was a lot of security around. But he was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he had forgotten that you were supposed to meet. As your mind wondered about possibilities you heard a loud commotion. Guards were rushing to the podium and your eyes widened. The jewel was in danger. You hurriedly made your way over. You pushed past the citizens as the feld for their lives. There was scattered bodies of the Millelith. You followed the bodies to find your older brother (B/N) and Childe in combat. In Childe's hand was the jewel. You couldn't say you were surprised, in fact you knew he was after it for a while now but didn't do anything to stop him.

You watched on as they continued to fight. Childe had gained the upper hand in the fight, about to bring his blade down on (B/N) when behind Childe was another soldier. Your body moved on it's own. You shielded Childe from the solider. His dagger pierced (B/N)'s heart and the soldiers lance ripped through your hanfu and flesh alike. Strength lost in your legs you fell but never hit the ground. A pair of strong arms caught you. A flash of water appeared and the soldier flew off to the other side of the podium. Childe held you in his arms.

"What the hell?! Why did you do that?" His voice was fierce but his eyes wavered and his fingers trembled. You smiled up at him.

"When I saw you were about to get hurt my body just moved on it's own." You coughed spitting up blood. You gasped painfully, some blood dripping down the side of your lip. His chest tightened.

"But...why?" He asked softly, "I don't understand."

You couldn't help but let out a little giggle, "well it's simple really," you gasped again and cupped his cheek, the blood on your fingers smeared against it, "I love you." You said plain and simple but your eyes shined and he could see the love you held for him.

"Even if you were only interested in me for the jewel. I can't deny that I fell in love with you. And I don't regret it either." Childe's heart cleanched and he grasped your hand that was on his cheek tightly.

"You're right at first I was only interested in you to get information about the jewel that's why I kept seeing you but now," he bit his lip deeply, ashamed that it took this moment, to realize how he felt about you, "now I realize, that was just an excuse to bury my true feelings. I love you (Y/N)." His eye began to tear up as your heart leapt out of your chest. Despite being at death's door you were surprisingly happy right now.

"Please don't cry Ajax," his eyes widened, he never told you his real name but he was happy that you knew it. You wiped his tears and with the little strength that you clung to, you leaned up pressing your lips against his. His whole body shook, he pulled your body closer to his kissing you deeply. Slowly you pulled away, Childe rested his forehead against yours as your eyes meeting his with a loving gaze being returned. Slowly you closed your eyes, panic and fear filled Childe's body.

"I'm happy that I met you. Please live." You whispered with your last breath. Your body went limp and your hand on his cheek dropped but he gripped it tighter and held it close.

He never knew how easy it was to fall in love and how easy it was to lose it all, until now. But he would grant your wish, he would live on, for you but he would never be the same.

[multiplefandomsblog]

your roommate hcs are so cute, can i request for naib, demi, tracy, andrew, kurt, patricia, and victor?

:0 holy crap yes! I’m so glad you enjoyed the roommate hcs!! Me and the other mods hope you enjoy these! Thank you for requesting :))

(i added melly because why not? lmao hope you don’t mind.)

Part 1!

Naib Subedar

This man deadass didn’t know you were living with him

Even when people told him about it, he wasn’t rlly paying attention and didn’t rlly care

Your stuff in his room? He thought it was his or someone just broke into his room and left it there

When he saw you on the toilet however, he just freaked out.

“Why the hell are you shitting in my room!?” “Your room? I’ve been living here for 2 months!”

Once he found out you lived with him, he made sure you knew what was his and what was yours

also, since he’s very protective of his things-- you being one of them-- he would totally get jealous if he caught you tallking to someone that wasn’t him.

he would probably give you the silent treatment and act like a pissy baby

He hates it when you touch his stuff

especially his photos, the photos were special to him because they were of him and his army friends.

You’d sometimes catch him looking at the photos with a longing in his eyes, it was highkey sad.

having you live with him meant lots and lots of training

he made sure you were always prepared for matches and that you don’t get downed early

when you got downed early however, He would scold you but he would still rescue you anyways because he’s soft

“You’re such an idiot, you’d better do better next time! Or else I’ll kick your ass.” 

one time he got cocky while kiting because you were watching him

he forgot to turn on his elbow pads and face palmed into the wall.

“...You saw nothing.” He turned around, a bit woozy from hitting his head on a wall. He flipped the hunter off before stumbling wooshing away

When you first get to know naib, he’d probably come off as intimidating and menacing

but once you get to know him--the real him--, you start to understand that even though he may be tough on you, its because he wants you to be the best

he has good intentions

During matches he’d let you handle yourself and made sure you didn’t rely on him too much

One time you needed to shower but you ran out of your shampoo so you used his.

When he questioned you, you simply responded “What? You don’t need it anyways, you’re bald!”

He didn’t rescue you the next round.

should’ve seen that coming

though he forgives you when you braid his luscious long existent hair for him

Kurt Frank

The amount of times you almost stepped on this man is astronomical.

he would constantly be in his tiny form because he would lose a lot of his things

his tiny form helped him find his things easily

Though when you first moved in with him, you had no idea what his ability was

so when you first saw a tiny version of your roommate you thought he was just a weird doll

until you heard him say a tiny, “Hey can you move your ginORMOUS foot? You’re stepping on my book.”

You fucking screeched and took off your shoe to try and kill him

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

After he explained to you about his ability you calmed down a bit and spared this tiny man but only this time!

Frank loves books, he probably filled your shared rooms with stacks on stacks of books

You’d often see him tiny, waving at you while you’re decoding

Once you overhead Kurt arguing with First Officer over who was the rightful owner of some sort of treasure map

They fought for days,

kurt would constantly complain about it to you

turns out it was just a game on the back of a Cereal box.

sorry this is short like kurt

Tracy Reznik

Would be a little awkward at first, but the awkwardness slowly fades away when you both make bad jokes

she gives me childhood best friend vibes

Has her doll sitting in the corner of your shared room room, it’s lifeless eyes scare the living shit out of you in the dark you try not to make eye contact, afraid it’ll curse you or smth

if she was mad at you she would move the bot in a way that looked like it was flipping you off you off in your direction before you went to bed.

Always making little robot things that are super fun to play with

Loves sharing her things. Has no problem with it

you wanna wear her clothes? sure

you want to wear her underwear? evEN BETTER-

Pulling all nighters, trying to get her machines to work like how she wanted it to work.

Would live off of kraft Mac n cheese and junk food in the modern day

Pretty hyper, chugs pink monster energy drinks while pulling all nighters, also, in the modern day

would probably be a bruh girl

Her room is a mess, covered with blueprints and scrap metal

her room is practically a safety hazard

Sometimes she dresses her doll up a bit, putting wigs or her old clothes on it (which scares you half to death)

Once she made her doll dress up like her

and you almost went up to it to ask what it wanted for dinner.

Has a photo of her and her dad

You never wanted to bring it up, worried it might make her upset :(

Sometimes she’d feel really guilty about being downed in the first 30 seconds

please comfort her, she feels super bad

She always relies on you to rescue her

She gets really happy and thankful when you body block for her but she still gets a bit concerned when you do it randomly

“i wasn’t even kiting-” “Protecc the mecc.”

Demi Bourbon

Always out at the bar

Smells like alcohol constantly

tipsy 24/7

she’s never 100% sober

You have to hold her hair out of her face when she comes back to your shared room to hurl

Likes bringing back hard vodka or weird flavoured alcohols back for you guys to get wasted try together

Room is bit cluttered, but she doesn’t have much in her room since she’s always out in bars or matches

Usually latches onto you like a parasite when she’s drunk.

it gets a bit awkward when her face is a bit close to yours,

“Are we about to kiss right now-? BLeurghgrhgherrgh.”“...*audible sigh*”

You’d go to her expecting her to heal you like a normal person but no

instead she shoves dovlin down your throat

She likes to do your makeup, and always adds a matching beauty mark

unless you don’t wear makeup, then she’d ask you to do hers 

always loves how she looks afterwards

more than sometimes demi would get into bar fights, 

so you know she’s about to throw hands when she starts takes off her earrings-

10/10 would fight for you <3

She’s gives me cool wine aunt vibes

Probably a lesbian too (check out our Demi smut fic ;))

Or bi, idk

Just straightn’t

She’s really good at hyping you up, especially when you’re taking shots

“CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG-”

Andrew Kreiss

Would be very shy at first, opens up a little when you get to know him

Totally a night owl, can’t sleep at night from all the guilt and “what if’”s

if you see this baby awake at night, hug him, he really needs it

You’ve never seen the other side of his face

How does he see with hair in his eyes?

He’s albino, which is super dope

Sometime you fear he’s thinking about burying you

You always see him thwacking Luca with his shovel

Barely talks

Room is moderate

He doesn’t want you to find out too much about him

He may seem bland, but he loves sweet food

You’d bake him cookies and other sweets

He’d act as if he’s not embarrassed and brush it off

“Are you blushing?”“No, I-I’m sunburnt.” “On your face?” “....I stare into the hot red sun sometimes because it eases me.”

to keep his lie going, every time he catches you staring at him he would fry his eye balls by staring into the sun until you left

partially the reason why he can’t see well

When he’s not looking, you stare at him while he’s eating the stuff you made because he looks so happy :’)

One time you found him down in the dumps so you made him a cup of coffee, and when you handed it to him you said-

“Depresso espresso?”

*sniff* ”..are you oka-” “IM NOT CRYING, YOU ARE”

he actually cried

it was such a nice gesture(?), that he started ugly crying

You’d ask him if he wanted hugs during matches when you see him get stressed

He’d be flushed and kinda confused

hug... him? why tho lmao

he’d definitely agree tho, to be fair, with some hesitation 

if y’all ever cuddled in bed, i feel like he’d be a little spoon

poor boy needs the comfort, he wouldn’t mind if you wanted to be little spoon tho

he just wants to be close to you

Victor Grantz

You love playing with his dog, Wick

Super nice and polite, but a little guarded

The type to be too afraid to call people out when they do something wrong but would totally trash them in his head

You write him little letters everyday and leave them on his bed to make him happy :))

He’d a be a little spoon

Wick would always join you guys while cuddling

Kisses would be soft and gentle

Usually sends you the first letter in matches

Loves to cuddle

He bb 🥰

You always get him a birthday present AND a Christmas present

You also get a gift for Wick

He loves giving you surprise hugs

Likes to read with you while cuddling

Literally a cinnamon roll

Once he was eating a cinnamon roll

And you whispered

“C a n n i b a l i s m .”

He was very confused

and kind of scared- were you going to eat him?

Patricia Dorval

Room always smells like herbs

She could literally smoke weed and you’d think it’s some magical healing herb

it magically makes you feel better

Always there to stun the hunter when you’re ballooned

The mature one

Her room is organized, with boxes labeling what herbs and magic stuff that are in them

You were cooking dinner for the day and you accidentally used one of her fancy herbs in your soup

She didn’t realize until she tried the soup

She wasn’t mad just disappointed

She lectured you on how you shouldn’t touch her stuff or use it for cooking

Gotta admit tho, the soup was pretty good

she acts like the mom everyone wishes they had

totally the type to be like, “dude we should think this through.” before doing something risky

and then five seconds later, “cowABUNGA MY DUDES”

one time she caught kreacher leaving the mens washroom without washing his hands

seeing as she was the mother of this manor, she had to protect her children from diseases

so she yeeted her monkey skull at kreachers head, cleanly knocking him out

and everybody cheered.

Melly Plinius

When you heard melly was going to be your roomie, you couldn’t have been more excited.

you finally had a victim for the many insect pick up lines!

So you decided to make some good first impressions by waiting for her in your room.

so when she arrived to your room and greeted you, you happily greeted her back, and slipped in the pick up line.

“Hello, my name is Melly. I believe I will be your ro-?”“Yeah nice to meet you too, say, what do bees make?”

She kinda thought you were a bit rude so much for first impressions

“...Erm, honey?” she replied hesitantly

“YES DEAR?” 

... okay maybe you weren’t thaaaat bad.

after that she kind of developed a teensy crush on you 

so it was hard living with you because of her crush, since she was constantly flustered 

you loved her reactions, she constantly got red.

it was funny watching her try to keep her cool and fail.