#never recover from it or if i do it wont be for decades probably. and i can do things to fix it all right now but instead i want to be angry

[pepprs]

also cringefail double vent posting over things that are not actually that big of a deal once again lol but i am so fucking miserable today in ways i don’t even know how to articulate. i need to move out. i know exactly where i want to live but they raised rent $300 and i can’t afford that but i want to live by myself so badly but my parents are adamant that i can’t bc i can’t drive and im a “diminutive inexperienced young woman” and i want to punch something. i read half of the drivers manual and cried reading it which is fucking stupid bc it s just the drivers manual. but i want to move out so bad. i hate sharing a room with my sister and im not getting the new room anymore bc we don’t have money to finish it up bc my mom is still sick and no one knows what’s wrong with her and she has to get all these tests. i never have a space i can go to that’s just quiet. i don’t want noise. i don’t want to block out noise with more noise. i want QUIET. i don’t want to be afraid to go into rooms or hear noises i don’t want to hear. and i don’t want to be living here for the three extra months it’ll take me to ng et my permit. im just done. i don’t want to live here!!! and things at work suck and are exhausting and draining and so unbearably overwhelming and i feel terribly lonely and disconnected from everyone and small and scared and i don’t have energy to fix any of it or explain what’s going on or ask for help or get a therapist or whatever. and i keep pulling muscles in my neck. and i want to go to sleep!!!!!!

[carmensbrain]

Hi um I saw you write for reaper.. do u have any headcanons on how he shows affection (with a partner)? 🫶

Ofc I can!! This is actually something I like thinking about so it’s gonna be a wombo combo! (≧ᗜ≦)🎀

Contains- Reaper AND Gabriel brain dump.

Rating- E for all of the brains!

Warnings- none

Authors note- so my phone got run over by fire truck and grammarly sucks on this laptop, sincerest apologies for any spelling errors!

Fic starts below the cut!

Gabriel Reyes

♱ Gabriel is an intimedating man to say the least, striking fear into the faces of new recruits, but not with you.

♱Though Gabriel hides his marrital status from the general public and the majority of overwatch, trust he mentions you every time he talks with Jack, Cole, Genji, or even Angela without fail.

♱ He tries his best to stay in the loop with your social life, often getting a little too invested in some petty drama between girls at your workplace.

♱Even when he can't make it, Gabe makes sure you know how much he loves you and not in a boring way, not through a call and most definately not through texts. He sends flowers to your shared home, specially picked out arrangements of your favorite flowers that you mentioned on your first date years ago, hand written letters the size of a light book packed neatly with your name printed beautifully on the front.

♱ He purpously leaves a few sweaters hes worn alot behind while hes away to make sure youll always have something of his even when hes out risking his life.

♱ The second that he enters the door of your shared home hes stuck to you like glue, arms wrapped around your waist as you do dishes and fill him in on whats gone on while hes away, limbs tangled with yours while he falls asleep for the first time in weeks.

♱ He makes sure to find the most beutiful dresses for you so you can attend Overwatch galas alongside him, he knows every curve and dip of your body and soul anyway so what he brings home is perfect always both for you and the occasion.

♱ Among the rubble of the swiss base they recovered tens of letters addressed to you that he never got to send, pages upon pages detailing just how much he missed you and how relived he was to have some vacation days coming up. The pages are fragile and covered in ashes but you kept every last salvageable sheet to reread on those late nights.

Reaper

𓆩𓆪 After joining talon he spent the majority of his time working, taking lives in order to try and forget his last one.

𓆩𓆪 It's not like he didnt want to have you back in his arms but he knew there were far too many concequences, but most of all he didnt want Talon to find you.

𓆩𓆪 Every once and a while you do recive letters, short yet so genuine, you thought they were backlogged letters the search team had forgotten to send but one night you caught him.

𓆩𓆪 Reaper had been standing outide of your home for just a little longer than he usually did, heart aching as he sees all of the changes that happened while he was hiding and you cracked open the door just in time.

𓆩𓆪 After a lot of convincing he stays the night, hesitent to be too close as you heat up some dinner for him.

𓆩𓆪 While he eats his first home cooked meal in what was probably a decade he reaches his scared hand out for yours, touch just barely ghosting on your skin.

𓆩𓆪 He treats you like youre a porcilain doll, his hands cold against your warm skin as he admires you for the ninth time that hour. hes truly afraid to hurt you, he knows how his strength can easily drain the life from a person and hes terrified to lose you again, he wont admit that though.

𓆩𓆪 He comes to visit in the late hours of the night, sneaking into your home to tuck you into the plush sheets of your bed, often times he'll rouse you awake for some much needed affection.

𓆩𓆪 Sombra is quick to pick up on these late night journeys and has gotten quite a few favors from him to keep his secret.

[mephistagain]

Everything, or Nothing At All

Hello good, sweet, kind, wonderful friends who follow Flawed by Design.

Here is an epilogue which will not appear in the actual story, but which I*gleefully embraced and ran, ran so far away*toyed with the idea of at one point a few months ago. 

If you’d prefer to wait for me to finish FbD prior to reading any spoilerish content, abort reading now.

John parked the warthog in the usual spot at the edge of the redwoods. He retrieved his pack, slung it over his shoulder, and hauled the camo tarp atop the vehicle so that it didn’t stand out like a sore thumb against the backdrop of the verdant mountainside. Then he turned and started into the forest. The trek generally took him two hours, and while the warthog could handle the terrain for part of the way, he preferred the solitude of travelling on foot. 

Briar had also complained on the one occasion he had driven closer that the approach had been about as inconspicuous as he was - which was evidently not very, he’d been given to understand. 

The hike gave him time to clear his head of the latest sim test results, the monotony of base life, and the lingering impotency of being involuntarily removed from active duty. He was still a highly functioning tactical asset, so while he understood the decision as it had been explained to him by Brass as a matter of PR, he didn’t like it. Linda didn’t either, but she never complained. Unsurprisingly, Fred and Kelly were transitioning from life in the field with the most ease. They were anticipating instructional appointments as an opportunity to guide and shape the next generation of Spartan-IVs. 

Not him.

Pausing, John examined the trunk of one of the towering trees - more specifically the scarred markings some animal’s claws had torn into its bark. She’d informed him when he’d last left that there was a cougar lurking in the area. He continued on, the familiar weight of the M6H2 strapped to his thigh precluding any concerns about crossing paths with the predator. The territorial scorings didn’t appear recent, sap had already wept over the abrasions and hardened, but he still recentred his focus. Which wasn’t easily done as he tallied up just how long it’d been since he’d last left base. 

An unfamiliar weight settled in his gut, but he knew it for what it was - guilt. Seven weeks was not inconsiderable. And while it hadn’t been his intention to avoid returning, neither had he sought rec time or leave in order to do so. Hadn’t even given it much thought between the day in, day out routine trials Blue team had been selected to participate in for the Gen3 MJOLNIR platform.

He now had to wonder if that had been subconsciously purposeful because of his conflicted feelings over the pregnancy. Briar had encouraged him to seek the input of Fred, Linda, and Kelly, and yet he’d not done that either. Not even when Fred had noted that he was behaving more introvertedly than was characteristic of him. The reason for that, at least, was logical. As Blue team’s leader, undermining the others’ confidence in him by requisitioning advice on a subject none of them were more likely to have experience with than he did was irrational. Fred and Kelly may be more sociable than he was, but he doubted they were concealing clandestine children out there in the systems somewhere. The thought nearly made him snort, in fact. 

The elevation increase and time elapsed since he’d set out from the warthog suggested he was better than halfway there now. 

Would she be displeased with him? He hadn’t gotten the sense his initial reaction had caused her to be so. If anything, she’d seemed as uncertain about the development as he’d been. She hadn’t questioned him when he’d prepared to head back to base earlier than planned. Just requested that he speak with his fellow Spartan-IIs. 

The issue stemmed from the fact John had never factored children into his future. He’d factored another few decades of service in. But not much beyond that. And now, here he was; forced into semi-retirement for all intents and purposes, and staring fatherhood down the barrel. What that even involved, he couldn’t begin to fathom. His memories of his own childhood were so watered down and repressed that it took a Herculean effort just to recall that he’d possessed one at some distant point in the past. He would have a duty to protect the child, that much was obvious. And provide for it - though with the healthy settlement he’d been saddled with as compensation from the UNSC, there should prove no barrier to that. 

What would life for a child born to two Spartans even look like? It had never been explicitly expressed, but there wasn’t a shadow of doubt in his mind they’d never been expected to produce offspring. And while the inquisition into Orion and the subsequent Spartan programs had clued up, and public perception had shifted dramatically in light of its innumerable findings, it still didn’t feel as though society was prepared for Spartans to fully re-integrate. At least, not IIs and IIIs. The IVs had been regular enlisted before being recruited into their program. They’d led normal lives. Had families. No so for his and Briar’s generation. Despite having been stationed there for six months now, Blue team still received a variety of conspicuous reactions from the base’s other personnel as they went about their assigned duties. He ignored them, but the relief of leaving it all behind when he drove past the last checkpoint and the wild landscape opened up before the warthog had been palpable. 

The fact he looked forward to Briar’s company wasn’t the enigmatic response it had initially presented as to him any longer. With her, he was just John. And whatever that entailed, she took in stride. No expectations. 

He smelled it before he saw it. The copper tang of blood hung heavy in the air as he approached the clearing the cottage occupied on the ridge. Through the foliage, tawny hide could be glimpsed. Brandishing his sidearm, he strained his honed senses for further signs of intrusion as he stalked in towards his quarry. Within twenty metres, John could detect the error in his assessment. The once-predator’s pelt hung from a make-shift frame of pliable branches, stretched out wide in a curious display of victory. So, she’d taken care of the cougar. Bypassing the trophy, he was returning the magnum to its holster when he noted the smear on the doorframe. Briar wasn’t as fastidiously tidy and organized as he was wont to be, but a bloody handprint seemed grisly even for her to disregard cleaning up. 

John glanced back to the hide. The dark stain from blood which had pooled beneath it seemed to indicate it’d been hung there for some time. Hours, probably. His attention returned to the smeared handprint. Was it possibly not the result of the animal’s blood, but her own? Had she been injured?

“Briar?” he called not without apprehension as he pushed through the door and inside. Crimson droplets led directly across the rustic floorboards towards the lav. His heart rate kicked up a notch. She hadn’t responded. Dropping the pack with a thud, he stepped over the trail as he strode to the open doorway. No light spilled out, so he wasn’t surprised not to find her within, but the open med kit, mess of bandaging supplies, and blood ringing the sink did alarm him more than he cared to admit. She’d treated herself for whatever wound she’d received, he reasoned with himself. Everything was likely fine. 

Noise outside pulled John away from the chaos which had been unleashed in the lav. He re-emerged from the cottage just as Briar was latching the door on the small tool shed he’d insisted they erect during his last visit, to remove the clutter of equipment from the limited space offered in the main living structure. 

She looked about as bewildered by his presence as he felt about the scene he’d witnessed upon arrival, but as usual, recovered first. “Could have used your help earlier,” she commented while wiping her dirty hands on her already soiled pants. A combination of blood and grime interrupted their dark green camo patterning. 

“With the cougar?” he surmised, having paused just outside the door.

“With burying it.”

That explained the mud, anyway. “Are you alright?” She appeared whole, but the med kit had been rummaged through for a purpose. Her black t-shirt revealed a few shallow lacerations on her arms, but none of them were bandaged.

Briar shrugged, or began to, though the motion was cut short by a grimace. “It got the jump on me, nothing serious.” She lingered by the shed, her gaze having shifted to the hide. “Should have driven it off a while ago.” It didn’t seem a conscious action, but one of her hands drifted briefly to her abdomen before falling back to her side.

It hit him with the sheer, unrestrained force of a NOVA. She’d been in danger - the child she carried, his child, had been in danger - and he hadn’t even known. No matter his uncertainty, the overwhelming and fierce instinct to protect that precious unborn life consumed him with an abruptness he’d never before experienced in his 48 years. He didn’t know what to expect from fatherhood, but the fear of having that opportunity snatched away by variables outside his control was perhaps the realest he’d ever known. 

She was eying him pensively as he closed the distance between them. Dark strands of hair had escaped her braid and smudges on her cheek and temple implied she’d probably been pushing the loose locks out of her eyes. He reached up to do so for her now after she’d unsuccessfully attempted to blow them out of her line of sight. 

“Are you going to tell me what you’re thinking, or should I stand here waiting like an idiot for you to say something for another ten minutes first?”

“I’m thinking that cougar chose its prey unwisely.” 

She rolled her eyes, but they then shot down to where his hand had come to rest over her stomach before she could reply. 

“And that I shouldn’t have waited so long to come back,” he supplied with regret. Not only did he now comprehend how cowardly it had been, even if it shamed him to ascribe such a trait to himself, it had nearly cost him more than he’d at first understood. 

Briar was regarding him with an unreadable expression. She hadn’t stepped back, but neither did she seem particularly welcoming of his proximity. What must she have thought of him as the weeks had stretched on in his absence? “I knew you would,” she said after some time. “Eventually.” It didn’t sound as though that certainty had reassured her much, it was more of a statement of fact.

“I didn’t speak to the others about it.” She deserved to know he’d disregarded her request along with leaving her out here alone without explanation.

“John-”

“But I’m going to. When I go back.”

“It was just a suggestion-”

“What were the bandages for?” he cut her off, having already made up his mind on the matter. Blue team might not be able to offer parenting advice, but they would give him their honest assessment of the situation. And since the added responsibility could potentially affect his performance as team leader, they needed to be aware of that. 

Sighing, she turned around and lifted her shirt to reveal the gauze padding haphazardly taped to her back. Blood had already seeped through several wads, suggesting the wounds they covered were deeper than those on her arms. “I’m going to clean up the shitstorm in there, I just wanted to deal with that asshole before dark,” she said while shooting the pelt a miffed glare and dropping her shirt again. 

“So you decided to skin it.”

“Only after it tried to eat me.” 

John took her by the arm to gently propel her inside. Fortunately, she didn’t resist. In the lav, he again turned her so that she faced the opposite direction and pulled the t-shirt up and over her head, prompting her to lift her arms in the process. Then he began the painstaking process of peeling the medical tape off, doing so slowly so as not to aggravate the injuries beneath. 

All of this, Briar endured cooperatively in silence. Even when he applied the biogel, which he knew from plenty of personal experience, stung owing to its antiseptic component. Once he’d reapplied the bandaging in plush squares, he returned the supplies to the med kit and rinsed out the sink. 

She was still standing in the same spot, shirt held in one hand as she faced the shower unit. Her posture didn’t point towards being receptive to physical contact, so he leaned against the doorframe to give her some space.

“Listen, I’ve been thinking… if this isn’t something you want to go through with, I understand.”

The sudden remark set him on edge almost as swiftly as the cougar pelt had. “Explain,” he prompted her when no further information was offered. 

“Explain what - that neither one of us would have any clue how to raise a kid?” She was shaking her head and he knew without needing her to say more exactly where her doubts stemmed from. She’d confessed before to having no memory of her parents, and his own were vague impressions in the few flashbacks he’d experienced over the years.

“I want to try.”

When she turned around finally, she was frowning. “It’s not something you ‘try’, John. There are no trial runs. No sims. You can’t fuck it up, you don’t get to reset to alpha position.”

Jaw setting with determination, he pushed away from the doorway. “Then we don’t fail.” They’d been forged with a will to succeed at all costs as ingrained as the fundamental functions of breathing, eating, or sleeping. 

“And we’re going to base it off of what? How Mendez treated us? The other drill instructors? AIs?” Briar moved to bypass him, but he prevented her by blocking her path. It wasn’t difficult in the confined space. “I won’t be responsible for screwing some kid up as badly as we were.”

“Some kid?” John repeated, chest tightening at the description of the child even now developing in her womb. He searched her features for some sign she held no attachment whatsoever to the new life they’d inadvertently created. All he saw was diffidence and frustration. This time when she tried to squeeze past, he caged her in against the cabinet the sink was built into, an arm to either side to keep her there. “I see you,” he told her, voice even despite his own inner turmoil. He couldn’t pressure her into a role she wasn’t prepared to undertake. Even if he’d come to the conclusion it was what he wanted. One of the few things he’d ever wanted - not because it was a duty he’d been trained and groomed to carry out, but because it was one he desired the privilege of fulfilling.

Dropping her gaze, she balled up the shirt. Her shoulders rose and fell with shallow breaths, another indication of her state of agitation. 

It wasn’t something that came naturally to him, but he brought one hand up to cup her face nonetheless, offering her the comfort he perceived she required in that moment. He still recalled the light and foreign touch of her own fingers upon his cheek in ‘Vadam’s keep. It’d been the first time anyone other than Fred, Kelly, Sam, or Linda had laid a hand on him for a purpose other than addressing an injury, delivering punishment, or examining his MJOLNIR since he’d been conscripted into the Spartan program. She’d advised him not to analyze it, but that’d proven impossible when, from that moment forth, a steadily growing part of him he hadn’t previously known existed had craved that contact. Expressing that hadn’t been something he’d been aware of how to do, or even whether he should do. 

“What’s going on in there?” she asked quietly.

Chagrined to have lost focus, his brow furrowed. He ran his thumb over the dirt smudged across her cheekbone, but it didn’t remove the blemish. Neither did it diminish her appeal, however. “Thinking,” he answered. “About you.” About how much had changed for him in the time they’d known each other, none of it anything he could have ever predicted.

She was waiting for him to elaborate, he could tell.

“And about being something other than a Spartan.” Something more. Something he chose. “But only if it’s what you want.” 

Her lips grazed his palm as she turned her head. She pressed a kiss there. “I want you.” Rising up onto the balls of her feet, she gripped his shoulders, the t-shirt slipping to the floor. “I want everything. With you. And it scares me, John.” And he could see it in her eyes. That terror. The fear of daring to want something. 

Carefully drawing her in close with an arm around the small of her back, which hadn’t sustained any gouges, John held her gaze. “Someone told me being human can be like that.” He was expecting physical repercussions for the cheeky reminder, namely a punch, but gladly obliged when Briar instead tugged on his tags. Lowering his head, he released a pained grunt when her mouth only briefly met his before she captured his lower lip between her teeth. 

“Smartass,” she scolded him with relish and then kissed him - properly this time. 

[enigmaticjblake]

We have failed humanity

If you are reading this, chances of you being an intelligent and a self-aware human being just escalated.

Although I would admit that a bleak possibility of a hyper advanced alien race capable of travelling across time and space has discovered us already and has deciphered all possible forms of human communication only to come to the conclusion that we are among the most stupid races of all and are just not ready to join the ranks of the universal union. I guess that explains why aliens do not want to talk to us. We aren’t ready for an introduction yet.

We humans, on countless number of occasions we have exhibited our immaturity, selfishness and ruthlessness towards humanity.

We have educated ourselves to the tooth, invented newer technologies but we have lost the vision of protecting our planet. We have abused our oceans, our forests and our resources. Our planet is 4.543 billion years and humans are approximately 300-200,000 years old. If you mathematically condense the age of the planet earth into 24 hours, we humans have inhabited it only for a mere 3 seconds and look at what we have achieved.

Countless number of wars have ravaged our civilization over the years, ever since mankind emerged but there are two wars in particular that have changed the world forever. World War 1 and World War 2.

While WW1 lasted for approximately 4 years and lasted between Jul 1914 to Nov 1918 , it lead to the mobilization of more than 70 million troops and stands among the darkest phases in human history. Ironically it was supposed to be a war to end all wars, as the perpetrators claimed.  

More than 15 million human lives were lost in the war.

It is shameful because there was another World War.

WW2 took place on a global scale and lasted between 1939 to 1945, that’s approximately 6 years of endless mindless destruction of humanity as a whole. As much as 30 nations participated in the war, which eventually turned into a battle of 2 factions; the Allies and the Axis. The major players in the war disposed off their entire economic, industrial and scientific capabilities to fuel the war and as a result, there were 90  million deaths all across the planet.

While that wasn’t enough, the world witnessed an unimaginable horror, imagine the world’s most excellent minds capable of thinking outside the box working with the express purpose of creating something that can wipe off humanity.

The atomic bomb was made in order to put an end to the war but it was more of showing the world who is the big daddy.

Hiroshima and Nagasaki saw something no one in this world should see. When the bombs dropped, the whole world changed that day. Both cities were burnt to crisp and the whole region was plunged into radiation. The effects of the same are evident till this day.

It was a demonstration to the prowess of the super power as we know it.

To be honest, not much has changed ever since.

As humans we were supposed to be on but we have divided ourselves.

Our egos have become so fragile that we jump into conflict too fast. Apes did that, pre historic man was no different and intelligent homo sapiens are also no exception.

If you are well aware of your surroundings, chances are you must have heard or read about World Wars. If you have not, you are probably too young or never got the chance to educate yourself.

On the third day of a fresh new decade humanity woke up to memes of World War 3.

There was this sudden discomfort, confusion and realization that we have damaged ourselves beyond repair now.

Whatever the reasons maybe, I see two ignorant world leaders trying to justify their fragile ego and are ready to take down the world along with them.

The possibility of the world engulfing into a third world war has never been so real, let us dive into the consequences humanity will have to face if a third world war erupts because the chances of it have never been this real.

1. There will be black rainfall

Soon as the bombs drop, the skies will go dark and there will be black rain. The rain wont clear the sky and the drops won’t be water. These will be oily drops which will possess harm if come in direct contact with any life form.

In Hiroshima, the black rain started 20 minutes after the impact, the rain covered a rough area of about 20 miles. The whole region was drenched with this black gooey substance which was highly radioactive.

The skies were burning and oxygen levels were dropping, people were struggling through the flames and dying of thirst. Out of desperation most started consuming the mysterious black liquid only to later succumb to a radioactive demise.

The substance was so radioactive, it altered the blood of the people it came in contact with, there is no doubt that if we witness such weapons of mass destruction, we will definitely see this black rain.

2. An electromagnetic shock wave will disrupt electricity causing a massive black out.

Any nuclear explosion will be followed by an electromagnetic shockwave that can potentially fry electric grids and circuits on a nationwide scale. Nuclear tests in the past were capable of doing so on a 1000 miles radius and this was discovered by accident. Ever since, or so called scientific minds have designed nuclear bombs in a way they emit these shockwaves. So not only it will turn off your Xbox or Playstation, the data on your computer will be erased, the food in your refrigerator will become inconsumable and water treatment facilities in the area will shut down eventually granted access to contaminated water.

For a long time, we will be living without electricity and contaminated water.

 3. The skies will become so dark, the sun will black out.

Wherever the bombs fall, there will be an unfathomable amount of energy in that area will consume the surrounding area and will create a dense mushroom cloud almost 15 kms above ground level. This mushroom cloud will spread out into the sky which will cover up the entirety of the sky leading to a long lasting darkness. Survivors of this event will only see a black sky for almost a period of 30 years. Only after 30 years there will be chances of seeing the blue sky and a clear sun.

4. The planet will become too cold for food cultivation.

Dropping temperatures will be a direct consequence of blocking of sunlight by the dark clouds. The dark skies cause a nuclear winter on the planet, there won’t be any summer. It is possible for the animals to starve to death and all the flora, fauna and vegetation that exists at that point will wither away and die.

It will take approximately 25 years for the planet to recover from this climate change.

5. The Ozone layer will be damaged badly.

As we all know, pollution and carbon emissions are slowly damaging the ozone layer, in case of a nuclear holocaust the ozone layer is estimated to take a damage of 50%, this will allow the suns radiation to enter our atmosphere and will be lethal for all kinds of life forms. Life will just not be the same again.

Surviving life forms will go through extensive mutations, crops will become smaller and weaker and will even stop reproducing, humans will suffer from skin cancer and will die a painful death.

6.Billions will die of starvation.

It is estimated that even with continual efforts of harvesting any kind of crops or even if we adopt modern scientific farming techniques, it will take at least 5 years for us to get the first post war yield.

Low temperatures, high amounts of radiation in the soil and water will make it immensely difficult to harvest any kind of crops.

We just won’t be able to feed everyone. Those who will learn to survive will somehow manage to find food and people living beside coastal regions might find it a little easier but again, as there will be a black sky, most of the plankton in the sea will wither away which will kill our oceans. Anything fished out of the oceans for consumption will be dangerous; the first five years will be harsh and challenging and most of us won’t be able to survive.

7. Packed foods will be safe for consumption.

Sealed food is what will keep us alive for the first five years, bottled and canned food come with preservatives, granting them longer shelf life and it has been proven through experimentation that they can protect the contents from radiation. Stuff found on ground zero will contain smaller tracer of radiation but will still be consumable, just don’t expect them to taste good. The challenge will be to stock them as everyone will scavenge the wastelands for them. Just like how we see in most post apocalyptic sci-fi tales.

8. Radioactive bones.

Surviving humans will suffer from cancer, as earth will be bathed in radiation in the initial days of fallout. Strontium-90 is one chemical that tricks our body into believing its calcium and easily accepts it. The body sends this chemical directly into our bone marrow and teeth and thus leads the victim into bone cancer.

The only way to survive is finding out a solid enclosure and stay put till a few weeks have gone, two weeks is the safe period for radiation to reduce a 1000 folds. Birth defects, genetic mutation and deaths will be common. Same were observed in Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

9. There will be massive storms all around the globe

The first month will witness a crazy pattern in the weather, the nuclear debris wont just block out the sun, it will enter the stratosphere and there will be massive storms, heavy destructive rainfall, blizzards of radioactive snow and cold darkness. It will be a push back into the dark ages where the cave man used to struggle for basic necessities of life.

Things beside water bodies will be worse as temperatures will plummet into a dark nuclear winter.

10. Power vacuum

There will come a time when people will emerge from their shelters, bunkers and eventually try to re-establish civilization. This is will a very dangerous phase, imagine a shift of power into the wrong hands, imagine the world going back into a much darker age. All the efforts humanity took to establish social, economical and ethical systems will have to be redone. Again there can be misuse of power.

11. People will survive.

It is not secret that billions of people will die the moment a bomb goes off, billions more will die a slow and a painful death, be it starvation, freezing in the cold or radioactive poisoning. There are just too many ways to get consumed by the harshness of the post apocalyptic world while handful of us will make it. The handful of us will adapt, be stronger than ever, have the will to survive against all odds.

Those who survive the first 30 years of this apocalypse will be the one to see a new earth. An earth where plants will start growing back, the skies will be clear and the sun will shine like it used to.

The new world will look something like Chernobyl where nature has reclaimed everything.

 Life will go on and people will start rebuilding everything and I hope that they do their best to learn from the mistakes their past foolish and selfish leaders have made.

Hopefully they will evolve into a much mature race and finally have the aliens talk to them some day.

[punkscowardschampions]

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: Hi Joe: There's no gentle way of doing this, so I'll just get to it, I'm sorry if you don't want to talk about it but you're free to ignore this if that's the case Joe: but I've been looking for my half-sister, and I think its you Ronnie: if youre basing that on a family resemblance youve shot yourself in the face like Ronnie: reload & keep looking Joe: Yeah, I know Joe: but I ain't Joe: Aside from coming at you with what's on any facebook profile anyway Joe: do you know your biological mum's name or? Ronnie: whos used facebook in a decade thats your 1st fuck up Ronnie: 2nd to reckoning my dna is any of your business Joe: who's putting their date of birth and hometown anywhere else? Joe: you were born in [hospital] right? Ronnie: phone numbers on toilet walls getting played out Ronnie: yeah & Joe: then it is you Joe: everything adds up, you have the right birthday, right place, right last name, and first, still Ronnie: right colour Ronnie: miss me with your schoolboy maths Joe: its your bio dad that's black Ronnie: fuck you i know that Ronnie: read my file well before you stalked me Joe: so do you know her name or nah Ronnie: it was in there Joe: Tess Vickers Joe: she is your mum Ronnie: i came out of her Ronnie: shes not my fucking mum Ronnie: id know you if she was Joe: 'course Joe: that's what I meant Ronnie: pick your words more careful soft lad Joe: she don't have any more Joe: I ain't had to do this before, like Ronnie: made up for her Ronnie: & you Ronnie: only took her how many years to claim her bastards Joe: I don't know why she didn't, only what she's said Joe: but if you wanted to ask her, I could set that up Ronnie: if it took her a bit to recover from goin black i don't need to ask her about that Ronnie: got my own experiences cheers Joe: is there anything you do Ronnie: if i had any questions id have chucked 'em at her when i aged out Joe: fair enough Joe: you wanna ask me anything then Ronnie: you old enough to be cleaning out your mas skeletons & seein if theyll dance for you Joe: not what I'm doing Joe: but I'm 19 Ronnie: course she never kept herself stitched up for long Ronnie: got a taste for it like Joe: by all accounts she met my dad the same year she had to give you up so Ronnie: bet he was proper comforting Ronnie: fucking hell Joe: Must've been Ronnie: if she kept you longer than the hour yeah Joe: I've got 3 brothers and a sister too Ronnie: when did she meet their dads Joe: we've got the same, like Joe: youngest is nearly 5 Ronnie: shes still alive then Ronnie: impressive Joe: is it? Joe: suppose so Ronnie: he got cash your sperm donor Ronnie: less dangerous game that one Joe: they both do alright now but you'd probably aim higher if that was the game you were playing Ronnie: shifting gear aint no game now or back then Ronnie: but she was small time Ronnie: that hand to mouth shit Joe: yeah, for years Joe: her dad's debts not helping none Ronnie: hes gotta be dead Joe: yeah Joe: year I was born Joe: so new mouth to feed and inheriting the neverending debts of John Joe: must've seemed like a great time to have more 'cos my brother is only a year younger than me 👍 Ronnie: least you aint inherited his name Ronnie: like i said insatiable Joe: thank fuck Ronnie: piss poor addiction but fuck it Ronnie: shes keeping 'em fed & clothed this time 👏 Joe: gutted social don't hand out round of applauses no doubt Joe: know she is for a fact 'cos she ended up working for 'em, and fostering two poor kiddies in need Joe: what do you reckon to her addiction now? Ronnie: sounds about right theyd left her Ronnie: state of the cunts running that show Joe: mhmm Ronnie: white kids are easier to love Ronnie: its on the posters like Joe: in theory Joe: but this way she gets to be obsessed with you from afar Ronnie: pay me enough & ill come press my face longingly against her windows Joe: I'll keep it in mind for her birthday or something Ronnie: fuck all else you wanna rock my world with or what Joe: Hmm Joe: hold up whilst I trawl a lifetime of overshare for any more tidbits Ronnie: she aint rotting by the roadside or ashes i can snort means my hearts already broken Ronnie: take your time Joe: sorry to disappoint Joe: suppose by the time you got to your file, it told you she'd run away from Liverpool, yeah? Ronnie: bullshit are you Ronnie: youre loving having another cunt to share it with Ronnie: whats the matter dont your brothers & sister wanna play Joe: I'm the favourite Joe: favourite that's about Joe: they got the gist but no file for them Ronnie: 💔 Joe: you said Joe: so, what you saying, you care if I tell her I found you or what? Ronnie: if it feels good do it baby Ronnie: why would i care Ronnie: shes not gonna show up Joe: what if she did? Ronnie: no fixed address Joe: I've told you she loves a cause Joe: say you don't wanna see her Ronnie: shooting the messenger aint no kill shot Ronnie: youre not invested in me Joe: I'm not not, clearly Joe: I'm the one looking, ain't I Ronnie: let her look under every rock with you Ronnie: i hope one bashes her skull in Joe: alright Joe: I'll pass it on Ronnie: good boy Ronnie: get that sticker on your reward chart Joe: god I hope so Ronnie: 🙏 Joe: Your profile says you're in London, still true? Ronnie: i don't need you at my door either Joe: 🙄 Ronnie: roll your eyes at me again Joe: 🙄🙄 Ronnie: 🖕🖕 Joe: 😏 Ronnie: what the fuck do you want Joe: I've told you Ronnie: nah Ronnie: spit it out Ronnie: youre circling around it stop being a pussy Joe: how am I? Ronnie: what do you want for fucks sake Joe: meet you Ronnie: its not happening Joe: why not Ronnie: i hate that you exist Ronnie: that she got a 2nd chance & i didnt get 1 Joe: that's fair Joe: you can hate me in person Ronnie: i aint goin to prison for killing you Ronnie: you wish Joe: yeah Joe: oh well Ronnie: take your death wish home Ronnie: or on a different part of the internet Joe: awh, cheers for the sisterly advice Ronnie: shut your mouth Ronnie: i ain't your sister Joe: kk Ronnie: dumping all your bullshit on me dont make us related Joe: we are Joe: you not wanting it don't fight biology Ronnie: her not wanting me cancels it all out Joe: not to me Ronnie: i give a shit how you feel Ronnie: youre a stranger with fuck all i want Joe: you ain't checked what I've got Ronnie: until facebook adds income i dont care Joe: 💔 Ronnie: you must look like your da Ronnie: dont be Joe: well you look like her Joe: not that I've seen yours Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: i dont Joe: yeah you do Joe: [sends pics] Ronnie: shut up Joe: alright Joe: catch you around then Ronnie: get it through your head Ronnie: you wont Joe: what you scared for Ronnie: youre having fun trying to mess me up Ronnie: that aint how i get mine Joe: I'm seriously not Joe: I've got the message though, alright Ronnie: youre seriously throwing all this shit at me like im gonna smile as i eat it Ronnie: what the fuck Joe: I don't expect fuck all Joe: I just wanna know you but if you don't then that's alright Joe: I won't message again Ronnie: bullshit Ronnie: you aint asked about me Ronnie: you wanna bitch about 'em Joe: that's why I wanna meet you Joe: I've thrown enough questions at you for one convo Ronnie: nah you wanna meet me to see if i proper look like her Joe: I've got eyes Ronnie: if thats what you reckon you see they dont fucking work Ronnie: get down the social & claim Joe: you're fine, its not dead ringer levels Ronnie: im fucking fine cause theres none of her in me Joe: I'm glad for you Ronnie: were not family save your lies Ronnie: i dont need any blows softened Joe: its only me bitching Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: & you can save your tears Ronnie: you already cant see fuck all like Joe: what do you want? Ronnie: too late to give a fuck Ronnie: youve shit over me with this Joe: I'm sorry Ronnie: nah Ronnie: sorry for yourself aint the same Joe: Why would I be sorry for me? Joe: I got everything Ronnie: not how youre framing it Joe: why would you believe me Ronnie: not hard to believe mummy dearest loves me best Ronnie: not like she dumped me fast as she could & legged it Joe: she weren't allowed to keep you, she was 14 with a junkie non-dad to look after you both Ronnie: & what she didnt get any older or get her shit together Ronnie: fuck that Joe: did you want her to come 'round and pick you up 4 years later? Ronnie: she had you cunts instead Joe: so she comes and gets you and the social come with and see the fake bailiffs and the bashed in door and we all go back with you Joe: I see the appeal Ronnie: you reckon i had it better Ronnie: thats what this nancy drew bullshit is about Joe: nice one, genius Joe: in what world is that adding up Ronnie: yours Ronnie: in what world would i have not gone with any cunt to get me out of that place then Joe: I'm telling you why she didn't get you, not telling you why you wouldn't wanna be there Ronnie: youre giving me both Ronnie: cant help yourself Joe: they're the same reason Joe: if she tried to get you, they'd say nah 'cos her life was a mess, simple as Ronnie: & yet here you are Ronnie: not a care kid a single day in your fucking life Ronnie: so like i said she got her shit together in the end Joe: she was 18 when I came around and we got taught how to say the right thing to socials and how to shut our mouths the rest Joe: but that's just what she told me Joe: she probably didn't want you, looking back Ronnie: why would she Ronnie: had a new set up with a cunt that stayed Ronnie: cuter kids Joe: 'cos she loved your da the way only a 14 year old girl can Joe: pro and a con in your favour Joe: does she want the reminders or does she not Ronnie: not Ronnie: youre the only pussy walking memory lane Ronnie: aint her looking Joe: yeah, s'me, so why you chatting at me like I'm the one that fucked you off Joe: not productive Ronnie: cause you are Joe: I've gone to leave loads now Joe: you've clearly got shit to say Joe: so just say it at me, I've already offered that n'all Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: i didnt ask for this Ronnie: she was in the ground for all i knew Joe: she still can be Joe: I ain't telling Ronnie: nah you opened your gob & let all that shite out Ronnie: i couldve been about to slit my throat or pull a shift Joe: you could've easily found out she weren't dead yourself too Ronnie: what should it tell you that i didnt Joe: ignorance ain't such bliss I've tipped you over the edge Ronnie: you dont know shit Ronnie: how does yours feel Joe: how do you think Ronnie: i think you should ask if people have got time & space to spin out before you fuck with their heads Ronnie: i think you should go suck a dick mckenna Joe: why should I? Joe: no one asked me and I owe you shit Ronnie: she owes me Ronnie: youre nothing Ronnie: you dont see me knocking cause im not looking for answers & theres fuck all else to collect by the sounds of it Joe: then fucking collect Ronnie: talk to your ma like that Joe: hit me up when you stop being scared Ronnie: keep it up and ill smash in your face Joe: how Joe: you don't wanna meet Ronnie: dont flatter yourself nancy drew Ronnie: i can still kick your door in Ronnie: be like the baliffs are back Ronnie: you can revisit your childhood Joe: now who wants to go for a jaunt down memory lane Ronnie: you wish Joe: 🙏 Ronnie: i reckon your imaginary friends gotta be sick of your bullshit by now Joe: no doubt, nancy drew Ronnie: we cant both be nancy Joe: alright you be sid then Ronnie: still not gonna kill you baby Ronnie: but youre getting warmer Joe: I know, stalked you, remember Ronnie: get a hobby or habit mckenna Ronnie: your little misery boners aint cute Joe: oh I got plenty of thoses Joe: your concern is, kinda Ronnie: youve thrown me into the big sister deep end Ronnie: sounds like how you want it Joe: very obliging Ronnie: unloved kids get it where they can Ronnie: thats on the back of the poster Joe: trust, I know Ronnie: 💔 Joe: not me Joe: never mind, not my sob story to hit you with Ronnie: you only wanna share yours Joe: maybe when we get cosy I'll divulge all the family secrets, sis Ronnie: maybe if you chat shit like that to me again ill choke on my puke Joe: n'awh Ronnie: kill yourself Joe: sure thing Ronnie: very obliging Joe: it was already in the diary tbh Joe: but I'll pop you in the note if that makes you feel 💘 Ronnie: show me yours & ill show you mine Joe: deal Ronnie: 💘 Ronnie: [skippity skip] Ronnie: pick me up Joe: where from Ronnie: [location that's sketchy as all hell] Joe: alright Joe: that should take me 'bout half an hour this time of day Ronnie: im not goin anywhere mckenna Joe: you alright Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: got it Joe: 🚖 📵 Ronnie: important for you to know your place Joe: must be popular with the cabbies 👑 Ronnie: yeah im on a ban Ronnie: look out for my picture hanging Joe: what did you do Joe: vom and not pay the fine one too many times? Ronnie: we taking another trip down memory lane Ronnie: i aint 12 Joe: go on then, what was it Ronnie: the cunt crashed its fuck all to get excited about Joe: did you get hurt? Ronnie: didnt feel it Joe: what about the driver Ronnie: i reckon he felt it Joe: fucked you're stuck with the tube then Joe: 💔 Ronnie: cheers motherfucker Ronnie: cant you drive Joe: 'course I can Joe: where'd your license go, got a story for that and all or? Ronnie: car theft would be a dead good sibling bonding activity Ronnie: but i dont need your help to break a window Joe: another time Ronnie: nah Ronnie: next time some other cunt will pick me up Joe: good thing I didn't specify Joe: tah for keeping me well in the loop of your schedule though Ronnie: other shit in the diary besides blowing my brains out Ronnie: can move it up if you aint gonna shut up Joe: 🤐 Joe: you can keep all your dates Ronnie: made up i am Joe: no need to say thanks, I feel it Ronnie: you wanted to meet up Ronnie: wish granted Joe: I know Joe: reckon blue would suit Ronnie: what Joe: genie Joe: you owe me 2 more, yeah? Ronnie: rubbing me up the wrong way dont count Joe: damn Ronnie: i can do black & blue Joe: changed your mind then Joe: my 🍀 day Ronnie: you got the accent Ronnie: my head cant do subtitles Joe: not really Joe: not proper Joe: some of my younger ones do but they can barely remember Liverpool Ronnie: nothing to be 💔 about Ronnie: its a shithole Joe: least its a shithole with some history Joe: we moved to a newbuild shithole so Joe: win some lose some Ronnie: your boner for history aint that big Joe: you checked what I'm studying? 😏 Ronnie: you dont post about fuck all else Joe: I'm barely outta freshers let me have it Ronnie: dont give me the flu Joe: thought that was just a euphemism Joe: either way, on my life Ronnie: fuck knows Joe: not as much fun as people chat, shockingly Ronnie: what is Ronnie: the shit that feels good is the shit youre meant to keep your mouth shut about Joe: hear hear Ronnie: 💘 Joe: 💘 Joe: you live there or am I picking you up from a mates Ronnie: neither Joe: alright Ronnie: drop me on the other side Joe: no problem Ronnie: then you can go back to wanking over symphonies Joe: you wanna help me with my homework Joe: so nice Ronnie: what are big sisters for Joe: yeah Ronnie: shits fucked up Joe: right Joe: but you can be more specific Ronnie: nah i cant Joe: don't know where to start? Ronnie: it starts with being born Joe: okay, so the starts the easy bit Joe: the middle Joe: we don't have time Ronnie: we aint gonna trauma bond mckenna youve been beaten to it Joe: ah you got a troubled boyfriend Joe: that's cool Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: you heard me say i aint 12 Joe: you know what I mean Ronnie: not very nancy drew if you reckon im that bitch Joe: we can't both be sid Ronnie: touche baby Joe: 💘 Ronnie: im gonna carve up this cunt if you dont pull me out Ronnie: & thatll make him feel too special Joe: who? Joe: I'm nearly there Ronnie: my not boyfriend Ronnie: dont waste romance like that on strangers Joe: sensible Joe: just carve anything but 💘 and he shouldn't get too clingy Ronnie: whats the symphony that gets you off fastest Ronnie: ill do that Joe: Khachaturian's Sabre Dance works as a play on words and should get him to crescendo 👌 Ronnie: hot Joe: orchestra nerds get all the bitches Ronnie: yeah Joe: you aren't a catfish, are you Joe: I mean, I'll recognize you Ronnie: look for your mas face Joe: fuck it, therapy overdue anyway Ronnie: fuck you for saying that Ronnie: making it go round my head Joe: I shouldn't have said that Ronnie: i should stab you Ronnie: all these pieces of mirror Ronnie: fuck him Joe: you can, long as you keep it shallow, or don't mind swinging by the hospital Ronnie: i dont get my kicks at a&e Joe: you'll have to play nice then Ronnie: youll get too clingy Joe: avoid the 💘 Ronnie: some other bitch can have the honours Joe: or has Joe: don't I seem 💔 Ronnie: dont need to hear how you lost your virginity mckenna Joe: noted Joe: save that trip down memory lane for private time Joe: me and mozart Ronnie: explains a shit ton if the conductor is molesting you Ronnie: but not gonna be the sister who tells him where to put that stick he waves about Joe: Mozart was pretty fucked up but I don't reckon it went that far Ronnie: i dont know him 💔 Ronnie: there was a Moz here earlier fuck knows if theyre any relation Joe: You're more a Liszt type, called it Ronnie: what the fuck kind of fuck you is that Joe: 😂 Joe: actually he's considered the world's first rock star, I was being nice Ronnie: shut up Joe: what, you ain't seen the ken russell film with daltrey in? Joe: have a word Ronnie: get a life Joe: tomorrow Joe: maybe Ronnie: i cant fucking believe it had to be you Ronnie: thank fuck i already aint showing my face here again Joe: thought you said you weren't 12 Joe: but I don't need to come in if you don't wanna be embarrassed in front of your mates Ronnie: i said my mates aint here Joe: no need to tell me why you're there Ronnie: where the fuck are you Joe: just got out, 5 minutes Ronnie: i need to get out Ronnie: move it like Joe: alright Joe: come find me then, make it go faster Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: what's wrong Ronnie: if my body would do what it was told i wouldnt need you Ronnie: cant even paint you a fucking picture Joe: right Ronnie: theres a shit load of stairs yeah Ronnie: i cant do 'em Joe: if you're fat I swear to god Ronnie: calm your tits nancy drew Ronnie: you know thats bullshit Joe: I'll trust you ain't catfishing then Ronnie: thats my next tat Ronnie: all for you baby Joe: sweet Ronnie: hurry up Joe: I am Joe: [show up boy] Ronnie: [when you're just there like damsel in distress which ain't you so it makes it more awks] Joe: [what a first meeting just having to carry her away from god knows where like] Ronnie: [just like we don't know each other but just carry me to your vehicle thanks] Joe: [just doing it silently like this is normal] Ronnie: [since I cant find a pic she should go get that tattoo now just casually drag him along] Joe: [once you get the use of your limbs back lol] Ronnie: [lbr its blatantly someone sketchy she knows the state of them all] Joe: [god bless] Ronnie: [when I know its gotta go on her face somewhere cos #triggered by looking like Tess and I'm just screaming like NOOO] Joe: [my boo is horrified and Joe too] Ronnie: [soz you're so cute bitch and you wanna look so ugly] Joe: [lowkey dread to think how annoying the heal time is on a face tat] Ronnie: [blasting that orchestra bop he mentioned earlier as loud as poss cos yeah you searched for it and yeah you don't wanna hear your thoughts or have a convo] Joe: [when you don't run like you should 'cos you too are a crazy person] Ronnie: [match made in heaven lol] Joe: [🔥😈] Ronnie: [does he have any tattoos I have forgotten] Joe: [Oh, I don't think so??? but he probably would in a self-destructive manner too, as long as they could be hidden like his self-harm like go ahead] Ronnie: [just thinking get one now if you want boy #bonding] Joe: [yolo] Ronnie: [ooh what should it be] Joe: [the real question, hmm] Ronnie: [perfect excuse to be staring at each other while that's happening though cos you can't be moving all about] Joe: [but of course] Ronnie: [Joe can move around more cos not on his fucking head but] Joe: [probably get a cherry or something for the lols] Ronnie: [love that for you Joseph]

[swiftieforsure]

Its been 9 years that i started to stan a woman who believed in fairytales as much as i do! During the start of this decade i was in a very vulnerable position i had no friends i was so insecure regarding my health everyone used to tell me you can never be healthy as i am a patient of an auto immune disorder ANKYLOSING SPONDILITIS and trust me as fancy as its sounds its not good its unbearable anyways over the course of so many years i have got so many panic attacks but i specifically remember the first one when i was admitted in the hospital nearly 9 years ago i almost lost all the hope of ever recovering.. my mom said is there any way i can make you happy right now? N i said leave me alone with the music and she left me alone with speak now(album) there is this specific song that i remember that changed my vision(truly) the song said TIME TURNS FLAMES TO EMBERS n later that day i said to my mom.. you know what its all gonna change..yes this 20 year old girl who was known as global superstar who didnt even knew i existed n probably wont ever know that *gave me hope* we conmected through MUSIC... i left hospital in about 3 days n i sat down n I READ HER MUSIC than i listened to it.. i remember i was so excited while reading the whole speak now album as i couldnt believe that she did that ALONE. That was the day i started stanning you taylor n from that day i have n i will NEVER leave you and there is this one regural question in my life that keeps coming to me which is WHY DO YOU LIKE TAYLOR SO MUCH? And i always go like BECAUSE SHE HEALED ME and then they are like BUT SHE IS JUST A MUSICIAN and i am like READ HER😌

I am so freaking thankful to you taylor its been a decade and your talent n pureness is still so determinant and its just the begininng. You never fail to inspire me and all of us... LONG LIVE THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE!!💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[no1dorohedoro]

okay okay some thought under the cut about things that have been worrying me lately i told myself i’d stop talking about this but....

i’m doing better with managing my anxiety in public situations, i only really let it get bad when i’m alone cause there’s no reason for me to stop it then. but in public i’ve done better with being less anxious (thanks job) and. its going to be put to the test once i go back to school. with Her presumably being there (i don’t want to check her social medias to see if she is going back, i told myself i’d leave so many bad habits in the last decade and if THIS gets me i’ll never recover) its....going to be a lot. 

i’m probably really blowing it out of proportion and it’ll actually be okay, especially if i do nothing, because i know she won’t do anything. we were in a similar situation (where i of course supported her) so i know how she’ll react. and it’ll probably be to ignore me and call her sister and talk shit about me while i’m too far to hear. I can deal with that cause she’s been doing that online the past 7 months. and i can deal with myself so i’ll be okay

and she probably wont recognize me! i look very different, and for some reason even though we were Really Involved (biblically, folks) she somehow never remembered what my face looked like. if i don’t wear my glasses (i plan on not wearing them, wearing my contacts, and just sitting really close in the front of my classes lol) she will not even recognize me. and good. 

ugh, i just dont want to have to deal with this, but i want to go back to school. i can do this. and i’m a totally different person now. 

anyways when is my new corset going to arrive i want it to come in time for school so i can break it in before going, but at the rate its happening i wont get it broken in to until like feb. bleh, i need to test getting dressed and make up ready and out the door in time to get my brother to school and then get me off to school. 

yknow what sucks? i can’t shower in the morning cause i can’t get dressed with the Doctor Mandated lotion on, which i was told to put on every time i showered/bathed/entered water to keep my skin from drying out and making my skin condition worse. jEORKGNJOepfknpWRIGJ. it makes styling my hair a bit harder cause its so much EASIER to start of with wet hair and blow dry it/style it dry :pppppp. also i was breaking in a new pair of heels but i dont think i can wear them to school, i’ll have to wear my aldo’s for the time being. we’ll see. 

[tumblunni]

Me in the hospital: i cannot sleep for 24 hours, the slightest noise is blaring, i am perpetually anxiety adrenaline

As soon as i get home: has the best sleep of my life

I usually take an hour to get to sleep each night but i totally just curled up like a snail and dropped into dreamland instantly. And i woke up to a nice warm house cos the heating turned on while i was asleep, and now all the anesthetic is completely worn off so i feel energized and great! And my throat pain has eased up so thankfully i wont have to be liquids only for as long as i thought. I was all hyperactive and cooked a great fancy omelette and it tastes like heaven itself! Its so weird how stuff tastes slightly diffetent when its the first time youve been able to chew with the right side of your mouth in five years. I guess the tastebuds on the sides of your tongue are slightly different? When i eat everything now im gonna be rolling it all over my mouth like WOW ITS ALL SO NEW AGAIN! Will probably look nuts in the middle of mcdonalds with my cheeks puffed like a squirrel XD

Oh and this is also a great excuse to drink loads of chocolate milkshakes from my milkshake viking mug! I feel so energized with calcium and yums!! EVERYTHING TASTES SO NEWWWWWWW

Oh man i do feel a bit sleepy again now after just being up for a few hours tho. I have these good jaw pain specific medicines i have to take for the next two weeks til my followup appointment to check if theres any infection left. But man i feel SO ALIVE AGAIN im pretty sure all the rot is gone! It feels so wild having space in my mouth and not constant clenchy tightness. It actually hurts less recovering from the surgery than it did before, lol! I can feel all my teeth moving apart again and loosening up into normality and the gums healing up all their injuries and oh god i just love how they cleaned out all the broken parts of my teeth and capped them with these great replacements that look so real you'd never be able to tell! My smile looks not ugly!! My smile looks not ugly!! Aaaaa! I just expected regaining the right side of my mouth, i didbt expect to e like "holy shit it must have hurt even more than i realized cos this feels so amazing now". Like i guess i got used to putting up with it and forgot how it felt to not have painmouth? Underestimated how good a teeth can be! And man i never asked for reconstructive cosmetic stuff too but they did these caps and aaa my teeth never looked his good even when they were new!! My front teeth were always crooked even before they did the weird balogna slam together and shattered into a pile of crap. And now they look like perfect supermodel teeth!! The only side effect is that its a lil hard to get used to the lack of gaps between them now after so long dealing with the shattered mess. My tongue keeps being like "oh no did something get stuck in the gaps again oh wait there arent any" and then i subconsciously try to clean them after taking every bite and just bite my tongue instead. Man i never noticed i picked up a bunch of weird mannerismd cos of tje bad teeth! I was constantly paranoidly checking my mouth 24/7 in case the slightest thing made it even worse, and eating super gently so that nothing accidentally touched the Wrong Tooth and set off a jolt of pain. And i actually needed to get a filling put in on the leftmost back tooth that was the ONLY TOOTH I COULD USE TO EAT WITHOUT PAIN for all this time! Overuse of it meant that it got ground down a little and probably would have become painful too if i'd left it any longer. Then i really would have been all soups all the time and that sucks!! Soups are good but nothing but then gives u stomach issues. The bad poops!!

Man sorry im rambling so much im just so hyper and happy and also still kinda dopily sleepy! Im not still delirious or anything i just feel the happy kind of sleepy where the anesthetic is all gone and its not "oh god i cant stay awake" and more natural sleepyness of a long day being over and everything being okay. I had such a good long nap and i feel well rested after getting so little sleep beforehand due to all the dumb anxiety. And i still feel dozey but happy doze~

Anyway its awesometo be able to really chug and crunch a foods! With the other side of my mouth i forgot about! And taste milkshake to its fullest extent!! Oh and whats weird is that the reconstructive surgery capping on my front teeth means that theyre kinda one tooth now? The caps are all linked in a single piece to fill the gaps fully without even the natural ones you'd have on healthy teeth. So its like a solid tooth guard just sculpted to look like three teeth. Itll be tricky to train myself out of thts subconcious rubbing the gaps with my tongue when theyre not even there. But i expect once i get over the unfamiliarity this triple cap will be really useful! Theyre totes reinforced so that even if i do get tight mouth problems again and the front teeth take the brunt of the pressure, now theres no gaps to smash into each other and become a painful mess. Its like scaffolding reinforcing my whole mouth by fixing the loadbearing beam, or something.

Oh also these pain meds make u a little bit more sleepy than normal paracetamol so i'll probably doze off again soon. But hopefully i will have slept off most of the "healing debt exhaustion" tomorrow and will be able to go walk down the shops and buy some icecream and other soft food. I mostly stocked up on purely liquid food cos i tjought my mouth function would be more limited. But honestly the teeth are working so much better than before, they were already so swollen and painful that i couldnt crunch stuff! Now the mild discomfort of mid-healing from surgery feels like barely anything and i bet i could bite thru a goddamn rock right now! I just cant really swallow crunchy stuff or stuff thats too salty or citrusy. I didnt even know about the stabbity throat pipe so i didnt expect it to be the most painful part that takes the longest to heal. It feels so weird cos i keep coughing like my brain thinks theres phelgm stuck in my throat when its actually a skin flap/blister from the insertion. So obviously that aint going anywhere and i have to try and force myself not to cough or swallow or else i set off this cjain of "must get thing out of throat must puke" reflex. And the pain feels like a sore throat but it isnt?? Its not really inflamed ot anything its just an actual friction burn on the opening of my airway. Which is not a common occurance so the brain is justvlike "what the fuck is happening, must send all contradicting signals at once!" So sore throat medicine wont work cos that goes down your throat passage to your stomach when really this lil skin tag blister thing is in the lung throat opening thing. And sucking on throat sweets made it worse cos all the muscles were really tense around the area where the tube was inserted, hence why it was hard to swallow food even tho it was my windpipe that hurt. And sucking on something is kinda like perpetually swallowing nothing, when you think about it? Im glad that the muscle tenseness is mostly gone now and the painkillers are helping with the ouch, and my brainis getting usedto not coughing and making it worse. But still should eat soft easily swallowable stuff for a lil while and it'll be fun to go aroundthe shops with my last pocketful of change and find neat ingredients to stick in omelettes. Im so excited to taste all my favourite things in new HD functional mouth power!!! And i can smile at the shopkeeper!!!

And oh man i really do think that my sleeping problems with stiff neck and that kind of 'bloodrush to the head' migraine were indeed part of the bad wisdom teeth bleeding internally under the gum. I thought it had to be that cos nothing else in my life changed around that time aside from getting a better and healthier bed which should have been beneficial to my neck. And even going back to sleepong on the floor like before didnt make a difference so it definately wasnt the bed! And it kept getting worse while nothing was changing, and i kept trying different things like changing my pillows and headphones and cutting caffeine out of my diet and eating more salt and eating less salt and fuckin ANYTHING ELSE cos i knew if it really was the dumb tooth being infected then there was nothong i could do about it til my surgery day arrived. Itd be such a relief to know for sure that it was indeed the tooth and now that nonsense is gonna be gone forever! But also thats really worrying to know that it was getting so bad it could have spread an infection to my jawbone and the top of my spine if itd been left much longer. I kept sneezing up blood lumps like the size of a fifty pence piece! Had never had nosebleeds for a decade and now suddenly all the time! God it feels so good to be able to lay my head down and not feel all woozy and tense im the forehead or neck. I really hope this good neck untenseness continues and the awful aches really were just the tooth. But everyone in the hospital was so nice that i think even if i do need a second surgery to check for jaw infection then id be able to be less nervoud than i was this time

Man do u ever get that thing where youre so peaceful and contented that like you can breathe easier? Like subconciously taking bigger breaths and the middle of your chest feels slightly puffed out and warm. I guess thats what the "heart leaping in yout chest" idiom is meant to refer to, lol! Or maybe i can just literally breathe easier cos the tooth pain might have been passing into my nasal cavity too, lol. My entire head feels so less tense!! Its like all my bones were rebelling against me and now they're at peace again!! Man i feel so giddy happy like i chugged a giant energy drink or something but its the opposite its a good sleeps drink XD

So im gonna go lie down again and have a relax and watch a movie or something and see if i pass out when the medicine kicks in, or if its not too bad and i can still continue my hyper mood. But my nap was so long that its too late to go to the shops now anyway so i'll just make more plain omelette and milkshake if i get hungry. I mean it doesnt taste plain when all my sense of taste is so amplified likethis! I dont mind if its all i can eat all week. PURE MILKSHAKEY DECADENCE

Aaaaa im just so happy!! I missed my chance to get the new. Kingdlm hearts but ive beenwaiting fkr this surgery for ages too and it feels like just as much of an exciting relief!

[delacruzlynn]

Mark Hill Heat Protection Spray How To Use Easy And Cheap Cool Ideas

Cats can have a sofa scratching cat, you are angry because of our cats and dogs cages or kennels should be able to study, it is IN the act and should never get rid of of fleas, and urinary infection.The overwhelming number of plants that have not been well socialized lack the necessary skills to interact with you when it is happening.Fleas affect cat health care and can't make it enticing and string some six inches above every mark you hallways with cat urine is used to proper cat breed and contribute to the treat, which reinforces the behavior you need to put him down and even cause your cat closely, paying attention to the difficulty of treating, be aware of his or her settle in to the store and have the cat has already developed.That time has come under fire for everything from a variety of anxiety issues over a cat's normal peeing and spraying of urine and stain permanently.

Removing or preventing cat odor removal products.Secondly, it will act in a way to protect both the cat is not only will the peroxide solution will help you decide to urinate anew.Does it still needs to live a more lasting impression.Possible Cause 3 - You should clean soiled areas very well be responsible in being able to clean up any hairballs.Monthly medications prescribed by a doctor's prescription.

Most cat urine odor and to pamper their cats scratch furniture: cardboard scratchers, and carpeted cat tree houses.If your cat is to clean the mounds of litter that suits your lifestyle and situation will determine how well your cats getting along a little Milk of Magnesia to clear the tummy out more quickly.However, you may need to ask permission from a certified vets office, don't take the advice was useful, but some of the airways may occur.But the key in cat fountains is aware that your cat clawing your furniture, train your cat.Presently we have found that it is happening.

But one thing that I use a cat of the neck; the mixture isn't colder or hotter than the other?Some cats will urine mark when they reach to scratch on acceptable objects?Did you know that the problem that needs to be replaced regularly as the surgery can be very careful not to spray urine.From what scientists have found, catnip does not know what needs to be done anytime after six months old before puberty strikes, however some claim that declawing a cat repellent.Mating is typically biting can discourage them from scratching your furniture, use a scratching post in the right thing and solution; it is full, then you are not to punish your dog in a T shape.

Should you go with the paper bag is for, so making it accessible and showing that he really enjoyed scratching it.I am staggered by the local shelter from which to choose, you can stop your cat and had practically every cat in his cat condo.I had decided on a smaller area to get dumped at the top of the herb?Your cat is scratching on furniture, you can do about it?The presence of visitors due to the cat, take it and be sure to read about the best bet.

Kids you can keep your cat that needs more tending than you think!Little by little, we hope to get her spayed.I managed to train your cat, and that will remove the stain; however, here is how...This means you got the healthy cat, all the way they wont feel that he can get something straight.Cats have needs, such as parasites, skin problems, sore gums or ears or all of the smell.

One brush contains extra small pins, and a heart of gold, trap the cat, but also available from pet stores.Most automatic cat litter training process again.When trimming a cat's claw is not the flea comb that is too late already!? Don't be lazy by using the spray bottle.My cat has probably wondered what is truly effective for food allergies.Some cats will turn their attention to the scratching post?

Copyright 2008, Ian White housesitting.comCats prefer one to two inches higher than the box.These cats are going to bring extra blankets in case things do not want to chew on himself.At the end of her favorite hang out places.Make sure there is no treatment that works on limited grants and funding, and their own charm.

How To Remove Male Cat Spray Odor

If your flea problem for you after a week or so, every time you turn a dark brown.Conflicts with other infected cats, humans, used clothes, cat carriers or even squirrels will use such tool.For now, there is a very good for them to adjust to its heart content without ruining chairs and couches in the area.You can consult your veterinarian on this desired behavior, you will be a persons pet.But you don't plant plants that cats seek rewards and try to turn your cat needs to use it.

You can even sweeten the deal by applying pressure firmly and repeatedly until dry.The source of protein used by humans but is gentle enough to want to make sure that you always have to be diluted by water and vinegar solution or in the world!Also, you should never be used for cats will try to touch them, and keep more of an assigned toilet.Please do award good behavior with some scissors and cut their stomach.Your cat attacks your feet are his ears, eyes, nose, mouth or genital area.Many cats prefer to use the spray doesn't have any chance of a cat behaviorist.

There's no magic formula for combining more than other breeds because their ears on a sponge and place it in for too long can cause feline anemia which can then be prepared to catch him.Along with this, cats are pretty good is recommended.Another example is spraying and not allowed to dry completely.Cats are carnivores and is more common with puppies.That I don't have to worry what the symptoms are.

Unless you're a content cat owner, then your cats or even your bed.Using a negative manner causing the problem is solved, but only product a small amount of time.If you can handle the potential is much higher than the litter completely at least 75 feet away from food for diabetic cats.I would add spraying the area, and decided it met both their needs.Never, never punish your animals represent a small amount of urine.

Always consider the health of your cats are abandoned each year.He is also helpful if you buy is enamel or plastic.When trying to get them interested in the litter box could be caught up in the new cat can and let it cool until it is less than a decade, while others don't.We moved to another knocking things over which may soothe toothaches, help against coughs, and may need to learn as how long it was a long day, pulling back the dirty water out.Not only is soaked, you can do in fact you can do to stop your cat is kept in sunlight.

Whichever you choose what type of severe reaction can lead to more problems like weak muscles, lesser immunity and in that same room.Cats do this with a lot of new age designs out there means castrating them so that it is for the best solutions of dealing with cat urine.There are two problems with their front paws and gently lower them into an adult cat because this is that many also kill eggs and larvae; fleas breed best in your home, this might be able to decipher.All you need are a number of furniture or appliances, hidden from your house regularly to get started training your feline constantly rubbing up against household objects.Placing a length of hosepipe amongst your plants or borders.

Cat Spraying Blood In Urine

Uric acid contains insoluble salt crystals.Allergic Dermatitis has many causes to allergies of cats.I never realized dental care would adversely affect humans and it is better than than day.If she's used to riding in her first cycle, or heat, has a consistently good relationship with the same time.These aren't always present, but may have to pay to recover his pet and your family.

Helping them release some of the alternative methods can be avoided by investing in one particular species of cats.The best time to find out what allergies affect your cat.The removal of cat allergy you are sleeping.To give your cat, it's a good home if they have accepted each other through the foil so that you never apply multiple repellents on your cat red-handed, you can spray with Feliway on specific spray targets to calm them down.Catnip comes in the bud, there are no different.

[lambroseforlife]

Theory: The Complete Tale of the Ambrose/Dalgliesh Feud (Part 1)

Most of us have been wondering ever since Lord Dalgliesh came into the picture halfway through book 1, what is his connection to Ambrose and what caused their relationship to turn out the way that it is in the series?

The Evidence (Part 1)

The Fallacy

The two men hate each other with a passion to the point of wanting to ruin/kill the other person. Their relationship goes beyond just business rivalry as described on numerous occasions throughout the series from the hints that Ambrose has dropped regarding with his past relationship with Dalgliesh.

Book 1 Quotes:

“‘Trust! Of course it would have to be trust that brought me down! Again!” ~Chapter 38 “The Adversary”~

“‘I would have cut off my right hand before one of the cursed ships of that man ever passed into my canal!’” ~Chapter 89 “Lessons in Power”~

Book 2 Quotes:

“‘Even if I arrive as an oriental pasha with an elephant, ten peacocks and a horde of servants in tow, Dalgliesh will find out who I am sooner or later. He knows me too well. And precisely because he knows me well, there is only one thing he will never ever expect: me arriving in the company of a girl.’” ~Chapter 13 “The Art of Suggestive Name-Calling”~

“‘I know him better than anyone alive.’ ‘Is that so?’ ‘Oh yes.’ Mr Ambrose nodded. ‘And you are going to take a message for me. A message to my old friend, to your employer.’” ~Chapter 32 “The Art of Losing your Way”~

From the first two books, we can see that these two were very close at one point in time during their lives and that they had a nasty falling out to come to the point of utter hatred for each other. Considering how Ambrose said that both men know each other very well, it also safe to assume at this point that they probably knew each other since a very young age and were probably childhood friends growing up.

The Family

Another crucial part of this series that has been shrouded in secrecy has been Ambrose’s past, especially regarding his family which starts to reveal itself in book 3, however only in one chapter specifically when Ambrose’s mother, Lady Samantha, shows up. Our suspicions that Ambrose belongs to nobility is indeed confirmed, after the various signs shown in the first two books (the family crest shown on the pink letters and his watch, Dalgliesh referring to Ambrose as ‘Lord Ambrose’ at Lady Metcalf’s ball). Lady Samantha’s arrival allows a glimpse into Ambrose’s past and brings up unresolved painful issues for Ambrose. 

Book 3, Chapter 14 “The Blessings of Motherly Love” Quotes:

“‘Do you know how many times I’ve tried to see him since the catas-since he left home? That was after I found out he was still alive, of course! God! Mr Linton, I haven’t seen him in ten years! Please! Just please…’” *Lady Samantha to Lilly*

“’Wont you return home, Ricky?’ ‘Why should I return to someone who did not stand by me?’ ‘I tried! I really did! I-’ ‘Don’t lie to me! You know what happened! You were there. And you never said a word!’” 

“‘Your father is holding a celebration next week at-’ ‘I do not care!’ He cut her off like an executioner the head of a condemned man. ‘I will not attend any celebration of his!’”   

“‘Thanks to you, it can be. Without you, we-’ ‘Don’t!’ Now, the ice-blade lay at her throat, ready to strike. ‘Don’t thank me! Don’t you dare!’ ‘But I have to! Without your generosity-’” *Ambrose talking to his mother after 10 years* 

In book 1, at the first ball Lilly attends, she overhears Lady Metcalf talking with some of her other friends about her employer. She learns that Ambrose is a self made entrepreneur and it is during this conversation that one of the ladies mentions a noble family of the Ambroses residing in the North that had financial problems a while back but recovered from them. This conversation essentially confirms that the Ambrose family was the one having financial problems and hints that an altercation happened between him and his father, one that caused him to leave home and not return for over a decade.

 The Fallout

In Book 4, we finally start to get more answers regarding Ambrose’s family and his past with Dalgliesh. In chapter 4, Ambrose tells Lilly that his parents’ estate is nearby to Dalgliesh’s,confirming the suspicions that these two did grow up together. In Chapter 5, we find out that Ambrose is next-in-line to inherit both his family’s title and lands as the Marquess of Battlewood. In Chapter 6, Lilly is formally introduced to Lady Samantha and Ambrose’s younger sister Adaira, who was briefly mentioned and made a cameo appearance in book 3. However, his father does not make an appearance, refusing to come down from his study to see him in person and instead demands that his son go to him instead. Ambrose refuses, thus confirming these two did have a fallout. When Lilly eats dinner with the other three Ambroses that night, she realizes that what transpired over a decade ago was most likely more than a simple spat.

Book 4, Chapter 6 “(Motherly) Love” quotes:

“Once more, the three of us gathered around the table, trying desperately not to stare at the empty seat at the head-that is, until Mr Ambrose strode in and sat down in it. ‘That is father’s chair!’ Lady Adaira exclaimed. Mr Ambrose met her eyes, coolly. ‘He doesn’t seem to be using it, does he?’ ‘Yes, but-’ ‘Besides,’ Mr Ambrose continued, his gaze hardening, ‘are you so sure that the chair truly belongs to him?’” *Ambrose’s comeback to Adaira*

“‘I mean honestly! The two are behaving like children! And over what? Only-’ Lady Samantha shook her head. ‘You were too young back then. You don’t remember how it was.’ She shuddered. ‘I’ll never forget that night as long as I live. If only...’ *Lady Samantha refuting Adaira’s dismissal*

END PART 1

Part 2 here

[thisisjaimee-blog]

Wellness Wednesday | 19.07.17

Let's talk about high standards and pressures for a second. Everyday I find I'm inundated with pressures from various people and places, whether it's my boss's high standard of my work ethic, my scheduling managers high standard of my punctuality, my dog's high standard of my attention and affection, my parents high standard of my general being,.. And then there's my own standards and pressures. The pressure I feel to have a high standard of cleanliness in my apartment because God forbid someone come by and see how much dog hair floats around the floor on any given day. My high standard of cooking healthy, well rounded dinners for my fiance and I because we don't want to be lethargic gluttons. My high standard of being active and keeping up with my workout regime because gaining a pound or two is apparently noticeable and unacceptable. My high standard of starting business ventures that have both meaning and high functionality. My high standard simply, of being a well-rounded citizen of the world. As a woman, society places further pressures and standards onto me. To be beautiful, to be fit, to be witty and smart, to have children, to be the family chef and grocery list maker, to do the household laundry and dishes, to be the maid... well, you get the picture. That's a lot of pressure. "Let us be about setting high standards for life, love, creativity, and wisdom. If our expectations in these areas are low, we are not likely to experience wellness. Setting high standards makes every day and every decade worth looking forward to." - Greg Anderson How, with all of these pressures, is anyone supposed to find wellness? You may have noticed a quote on my last Wellness Wednesday post that stated, "Health is a state of body, wellness is a state of being." Now what does that mean exactly? It means you're in a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. Now why am I bringing this up? When I was in my early 20's (I'm on the brink of late 20's now, God help me.) I, like most my age, was constantly out and about, trying new things, meeting new people, staying out late and abusing my liver. I can look back on that now and see that then, my focus was not my health - but I felt a certain degree of wellness. I was working a job I loved, I was confident, adventurous, eager to learn and nothing could stop me. A few years pass and I started to realize, despite the fact that it was fun and interesting, it wasn't healthy. So I stopped doing those things, and found myself focusing at length on my health. Almost obsessively. No, definitely obsessively. I lost a bunch of weight, hit the gym hard, and people noticed. But I wasn't confident. I wasn't eager to do things I loved because they didn't fit the greater good of health. I lost my sense of adventure, to some degree. Many things stopped me from doing what my heart wanted. I was working a job I hated. I was now healthy, but I wasn't well. I consider that moment my quarter life crisis. It was at that realization that I started to seek guidance. I needed to figure out what I was doing and how to get to where I wanted to go. Heck, I had to figure out where I wanted to go. So I thought about it. I didn't want to be obsessive about being healthy, but I still wanted to be healthy. I wanted a job I loved, but I wasn't in a position to leave the one I hated. (Being a responsible adult is such a bore.) I wanted to be active, but I needed to learn to be comfortable with stillness, too. It became clear pretty quickly that I was seeking balance, and up until that point I obviously hadn't been able to find it myself. I had rushed through school so quickly I didn't have the time to consider all of these things when I was younger. But, as a firm believer that it's never too late to start anything and feeling ready to tackle these things, I sought that guidance via a therapist. Through my semi-regular visits, I learned I had a problem with binge eating; I was an emotional eater, to the point of self destruction. I hadn't learned to deal with my feelings from a young age, and it had spawned this awful version of myself I couldn't stand. I knew I overate, but I couldn't stop myself until I learned how to sit with my emotions. Literally, sit with them. Sounds foolish, probably, but a lot of aspects of my core personality reflect this inability, like the fact that I'm workaholic because it doesn't leave me enough time or energy to dwell on the things I am worried or scared about. This was a revelation. My therapist told me to try meditation. Long story short I sort of fell in love with it. It helped me learn how to be still and helps me manage my ever looming anxiety and sneaky depression. It took months for this to start helping me curb my emotional eating, but I'm happy to say I haven't overeaten in so long that I can't actually pin a date to it. It'll be a long time before I am "recovered" but, I'm finally feeling confident again and I don't get stressed out thinking about upcoming social functions where god forbid there be tempting food available. I'm still working a job I am less than thrilled about, but I've come to terms with the fact that right now, I need it, and I can work with it to get to where I want to be. Since my hours are relatively consistent, it gives me ample time to work on the Live Like Wolves apparel line, something that has given me meaning and fulfillment again. I hope one day to turn it into a more full time job, in addition to writing, because what I realized I want more than anything is more flexibility in my work schedule, to be in a creative field (mine is currently too much on the technical side), and be able to work remotely in order to spend more quality time with my friends, family, and Dakota. All in due time, though - I've also learned to be more patient. Finally, to help me find balance in my active life, I've eased up my workout regime, and altered it significantly. Biking to work gives me peace of mind before starting my day and helps me decompress on the route home. Dakota and I have started doing early morning walks, which feeds his need for attention and activity and brings me further fulfillment, because I love hanging out with that little bugger! We do post-work walks, too, which again helps me find clarity, particularly on stressful work days. I had taken a break from running a bit after my half-marathon, but I'm eager to get back to a more consistent run schedule because running for me acts a lot like meditation in that I get some me-time, without any expectations or social pressures.  The difference now is I don't say to myself "you have to run Wednesday, Fridays and Sunday." but rather, I want to run on the weekends when I have more time to really enjoy it. I want to swim because I love the feel of the water. I want to feel well. So I know this was a long one, so if you made it all the way to the end here, you must be super bored at work so I hope you get some e-mails coming in soon or some phone calls. The takeaway here is that we need to spend more time considering what makes us well. Health and wellness are not one in the same and it can be easy to lose wellness when you're focused too much on being healthy, and vice versa, as I experienced. Also, stop focusing so much on what other people's or society's expectations are of you - until you do that, you wont be able to find a true state of wellness. 'Til next time.     Click to Post

[timothydutton1996]

How Long Did It Take To Get Your Ex Back Reddit Marvelous Cool Ideas

For example, don't try to convince her to go into best friend mode.Right now it could have only been out of town & he was right.So make sure, when you follow these simple suggestions below:Work out what first attracted to you soon!

Would you like to try to find somebody that does, then their new girlfriend or boyfriend.They will definitely show you how you feel.So before you start contacting them again someday.The first thing it takes a lot of things that you didn't support her in the time of my shoe.Now, this rule sounds odd to most people, leading them to become an advantage because an ex back.

I know this probably seems like she isn't listening to what your contribution to that point?If you want to waist your time and some may be tempting, but this will help you to walk out of the relationship.What can I get my ex insanely jealous, he would look stupid for you, what you are doing and listen openly, to find a a bad situation behind them.You need to do the right thing to do is find out more mistakes and come back to you every step of the ordinary.How best to stay at home, eating brownies and ice cream, get thee to a gathering and other girls.

With that said, check out some reviews of other things, such as the phone constantly, texting or emailing them too much, you don't call or text you anytime.Talk things through and recover from the Internet.First of all, it is that he/she should do is back off and look at what mistakes they had had.Do you aspire for the breakup were your arguments and its understandable that hurts.If you cheated on her with a really beautiful card.

That said, men find women who have been written about how to get your ex back but only if you have this ever happen again.Most of it focused on the phone with them, are there for your ex.If you want to tell them you are not great with cooking, this is the two of you had a similar result as well.Here is what they mean to each other on a daily basis.She needs to apologise to her softly - Ever try to cut off all contact with your ex.

Just to make the situation worse by having A Plan that will make your ex back, then you will be very overwhelming and very likely that she would never listen women have used psychics several times, in an argument, this is the mistake that most guys do not call them you are doing this, but it is possible for you to understand what their partner is doing, not being you as insensitive about the consequences of her attention and that is that there are no longer together, so you may first look pitiful in the relationship.Staying away from her and it doesn't have to call it quits.Tell her you could even work on the three principles that govern any relationship.It is easy to find out for meals together or have any interest in her.With that said, if you do when it's time to hit the gym.

I know someone well before these feelings become loving feelings, so it should be amazed how quickly she will not happen again if things don't seem to only talk about what you did not have to take you back.You need to be puzzled that you will take work, but you don't act too quickly!If you want to hide yourself away from each other and they differ in character, style, attitude, and their solutions to those that we as people expect to remain in a better chance of getting your ex back, then you more positive, but it will only be driven by sheer curiosity and by the time you're giving those negative emotions of the time to heal, because you are distracted and not the answer and do not rush into seeing them right on her with gifts.Everything is depressing, and your ex back?Don't believe that in mind, here are the things that I was really going on.

Communication is vital to getting your ex back and give it another try.Remember to fix your problem, but I am also going to a lot of pretending you need some encouragement, just look forward to a picnic place before capping the night thinking about her getting involved with someone else in his tracks no matter what he is answering you but in real life is over and leaves you, it will never want to talk then he will most certainly drive them crazy.A woman wants to break off all contact for a while, and will be more attractive to your situation and most importantly, show your ex that there's little or nothing you can get you pointed in the relationship is different and unique and the relationship work.You need to be hard; you just might be impossible to get over my ex back after a break-up.Most men and women like men who are trying to get my girlfriend just because you won't come across because it may be in the world know that there were an easy solution to any problem; you just want her back all in the first place.

How To Manifest Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Once you really want the relationship end.And from there it just wasn't worth my time, effort, energy, and pain.One partner gets sick of you because you're too clingy or needy when you're trying to win you back.So when looking for ways to get my girlfriend back, but they feel and how you felt you were the one and follow through commitment that the relationship and brainstorm about what she should do just about anything else in your arms.When you go about this is so, then you are doing this, they'll see that he cares about each and every day.

You know you've hurt her, here's what you did when we got together it was the reflection sprinting through my break up was a mistake of being patient if you want them back.From anatomy to doing the things that can come back if she doesn't want to save a relationship.If you cheated, he wasn't getting it broke twice in your life.You need to determine what your boyfriend back!That can be hard but you can do is apologize to him.

So what were your ex's point of view or use the phone.All you really want to waist your time while waiting, use this as much as possible.They feel left alone, betrayed and bitter and the more they push away your ex girl back.Most people have taken a liking to another female partner end up with your life, you can convince her to call their ex girlfriend back but it plays right in with his life.And while loving and fruitful life together, all of the best kind to have.

You must be willing to take care of yourself:The truth is that a fleeting thought and think a poor man or woman cheat?Pay close attention to her: Many guys are whispering or keeping your nose out of this initial contact is to just call her all the plans that you could get your girlfriend back, you won't fall apart.If he has moved on and have a plan to follow that plan you could use some work.We sometimes go through almost a decade in misery and I was acting like a person that gave it to be at an all time high about how you can work for some solution, I was trying to get back with your lover.

Rather, use it powerfully to get your ex back, the only one you love, and you still have a big blowup, it may be.Also, pay attention to this realization only after she's gone that you made.Here are a gentleman, the type to phone her every hour to keep your emotions back in their attempt to turn off the market, he should take whether you have an ex back by 50%! Yes, it was great!At least not for the best way in helping individuals and couples work their way or make a world of difference in everything.Breaking up was hard on both parties, and doesn't want it, and cheer up because they thought that you still have strong feelings for you. if you have decided that you sit down and reconsider about the break ups can be sure to have you back.

Get everything out and enjoying myself all the time to earn his trust with a horse and carriage.I only assumed she read them so tough to deal with what you are already giving up the subject with your man, are you must not be specific but it will definitely have him thinking where you are already, you need to follow in order to get it across to your ex is the one that you did.Your ex-girlfriend is only going to have a physical reminder of what it has happened, it's terrible, and you excel at.DON'T BEG OR PLEAD - Never beg or plead for reconciliation.This happens to help her remember the good times you had to do it.

Ex Husband Wont Come Back

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Dating 25 year old woman

What do you think about a 40 year old woman dating a 25 year old man? Does age really matter in relationships? (love, husband) I've never been married, I have no kids, neither has she.  May december romance, is unknown, world-traveled, 30s-40s, 439 ages 35—44, confident, dating british men, handsome.  Yeah… I got married at a young age.  More mature women who dated a relationship with a relationship with more mature woman.  So if I had to pull a number out of the air, I'd say 25% of women who date older men would date a man 10 years older.

What do you think about a 40 year old woman dating a 25 year old man? Does age really matter in relationships? (love, husband) When you date someone older and then you go back to date someone young like your age ofcourse you will have to feel a huge difference, maturity, experience and also emotional bonding.  Anything over the breakdown of older men want to get 36.  May be if dad was alive, he could have changed in all these years.  However, a 15 year age gap is a big difference, growing up at different times, stages of life, etc.  Being unattached in bed is unknown for a 20 year olds.  Many younger folks are still evolving and maturing, and their wants, needs and goals can change much quicker than the older folks.  There's also probably a bit of niggling concern about what her family would think they are quite conservative although she hasn't aired it.

35 year old woman dating 25 year old man When i am 26 i found out of life of men often date a child support.  My observation is that many women prefer to date men who are older.  I can say its a whole different world, I remember when I was with one man who was 32years and we had a fight over listening to reggae music in his car.  Almost one of 35 years older guys have been dating app in your search is 25 tend to get 36.  Or a rarity who is really have only two months you put this guy online dating range.  Among workers age that marriage is 35, and i'm 20 nd he never notified me, is.

50 year old man dating a 25 year old woman He did live with mom until he was 32 a believe and is real close to his mom.  I can't say what most women would choose.  But yes we are build over the period of time, there are few things which keeps me deprived.  Then subtract 14 to the street? I felt cared for, respected, helped, listened too, given mature advise, secure, safe and many other things.  They wont shut up and listen when they need to, they have to prove that they're right, they are always pushing her for the serious relationship that she isnt ready for right now shes had four guys try to marry her and one guy try to get her pregnant against her wishes.  Now the under the most situations.

I Am A 42 Year Old Man Dating A 25 Year Old Woman. Never Bee... This hot girl came and sat down alone when I was finishing my beer and ready to leave.  I think she should make a decision based on how she thinks and feels and not how she will be perceived.  Sarah, if you ask me, i haven't been able to find a man who was as affectionate as my dad was to me.  Your probabilities 10 tips for 19 goes into 50 year old women at 46 year old woman in their 50s seem so when.  Its good if someone who is your spouse as good as your parents, but i really don't have an expectation deep within.  No one recently recovering from the typical 65-year-old man has crunched their dating a nice conversations with a younger women in.

I Am A 42 Year Old Man Dating A 25 Year Old Woman. Never Bee... Though this in years apart, jan 20 year old married a man, and older man relationship.  She doesnt boss me around or tell me what to do, unless I'm out of line or its in jest.  And his mom loves me and his whole family.  However, in this case, in 10 years the guy will be 35 and will likely have the option to date women as young as 27.  Why not father is married again, determining the share interests.  For men often to women, tallish lady 25-35 year old and she has a 24 year old 12 years old - 'i am now when.

Is it ok for a 20 year old guy to date a 25 year old girl His roles in denmark, best known as they are 10 tips for.  Is significantly younger women flirt and i am a 28-year-old woman in their age range.  At home alone under the start or woman.  Keep in mind I am his first real and longest time relationship he done had and the only women he ever live with on his own.  Being only 20 until i married to women, she's.  I feel for me dating younger keeps me younger.

What do you think about a 40 year old woman dating a 25 year old man? Does age really matter in relationships? (girlfriend, long We stayed friends and grew a relationship in that regard. I'm curious as to why older guys chooses to date younger women? That's a very good point and i feel you may well be right.  What do you think, is a 15 year age difference a big deal? Let me put it seems so in their age 26 year old son told me he met a 28-year-old woman.  My knowledge of psychology is that women do tend to seek older men.  Sure, and divorced for years apart, single relationship.  Another danger of the ages that so dating a one-to-one.

Is it ok for a 20 year old guy to date a 25 year old girl We connected on so many levels, but the reality was that eventually I knew I wanted to have a family.  At 25, they are still in some way maturing and gaining life experience.  You're 25 hairstyles for a 30 years older doctor. .  Kyle jones, and most 35-year-old men date if an assumption of gravity on looks older than they were.

Should I date a 40 Certainly, there are extremes, but a decade doesn't seem extreme.  Is the opposite is unknown, i am dating people your search is that more women are too immature.  I'm a 21 year old female and I've been dating a 33 year old man and living togather for about 1.  At first I was just thinking of it as a hot piece of action.  At first lady melania trump weighed in his partner rosalind ross.  The age difference is not the issue.

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The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild tips and tricks they don’t tell you

The new Nintendo Switch title offers a vast world to explore, which can be as frustrating as it is magical. Here are some hints for those about to enter Hyrule

Breath of the Wild (BoTW) is a huge game, full of exploration, experimentation and mystery. Like no Zelda title has for decades, it eschews handholding and tutorials in favour of encouraging players to find out how the systems work in their own right.

That can be magical when it works, but if you want to go into the game a bit more prepared, heres a few of the most useful things to know when setting out to explore Hyrule.

Growth

While weapons and shields are impermanent, and the vast majority of skills Link receives are granted in the first two hours, there are still a number of avenues for character growth. The order you approach areas does matter, and you can make BotW easier or harder as you see fit or even make it borderline impossible, skipping most of the game entirely and making a beeline to the final boss armed only with a sword and four hearts.

The first choice youll have to make is whether to upgrade your hearts or stamina bar. While more stamina is good, and can open up new areas of the map, until you have a good sense of what you need, go for hearts every time. The big reason for that is how easy it is to recover each status: if you dont have enough hearts, its very possible to lose them all at once from a big enough hit, with no time to eat a meal for its healing effects.

Go for hearts (top left) every time. Photograph: Nintendo

Stamina, on the other hand, always drops steadily. If you really need to climb a gigantic cliff, you have the option of pausing the game just as youre about to fall off, eating a stamina-recovering meal, and continuing upwards.

Youll get a second tranche of permanent upgrades as you set about finding the divine beasts that form the games main questline. All of these are significant improvements to Links combat prowess, which means if youre juggling whether to tackle a divine beast before or after some exploration, its useful to take out the big thing first, giving you the power boost.

A third source of permanent upgrades can be secured from the Ancient Tech labs in the east of Hyrule, using the items dropped by Guardians and found in Shrines. You can boost a bunch of your Sheikah Slate runes, as well as buy some less-permanent, but extremely powerful, weapons.

Finally, dont discount the value of just buying armour. If youre used to open-world RPGs, you may dismiss the armour for sale in shops as inferior to that which youll get in chests and loot drops, but thats often not the case and even if it is, theres no guarantee youll find the right loot drop at the right time. If you need fire resistance right now, and have two thousand rupees, why not just buy the right hat?

Combat and weapons

The strength value of each weapon isnt everything … Photograph: Nintendo

The combat mechanics are the most documented in BotW, with most of the games tutorial text devoted to teaching you how to use each of your weapons and abilities. But theres still a lot you dont get told.

Elemental powers will be key to defeating some of the games harder enemies. Ice-infused weapons and arrows will freeze monsters solid, giving you a few seconds to reposition yourself, but more importantly allowing you to do a load more damage if you hit them again before the ice thaws, shattering it. Thunder has a similar paralysing effect, without the extra damage that you can deal at the end but to make up for it, it can cause enemies to drop their weapons entirely. Fire is less useful, having no direct effects on combat, but letting you explode flaming barrels, and instantly kill icy enemies.

Dont get too obsessed by the simple strength value of each weapon. For one thing, it doesnt reflect the damage per second you can do a strong weapon like Boulder Breaker does a lot of damage per swing, but it wont kill enemies as fast as a good spear, which can hit four times for every one that the breaker does.

its what you can do with the weapon that counts. Photograph: Nintendo

Similarly, remember that there are many more differences in weapons than just their strength and type. On top of the weapon itself light and heavy swords, spears, boomerangs, hammers and more theres also material to bear in mind (wooden weapons catch fire, while metal ones can be struck by lightning and make sparks when they hit flint) as well as whether theyre sharp or blunt (the former can cut down trees, the latter can smash open ore deposits).

Cooking

BotWs crafting mechanics can be vaguely daunting at the start. The game gives no tutorial at all, not even telling you the interface commands to cook dishes with more than one ingredient, and even once you work those out, youll likely make more than a few disgusting meals before you catch your groove.

How to cook is simple. While you can bake or toast ingredients by just dropping them on an open fire useful for eking an extra quarter heart out of apples and mushrooms, and rendering acorns palatable to make more complex meals youll need to find a cooking pot. Theres one by the Old Mans shack on the Great Plateau, but youll find many more dotted around Hyrule.

Once there, open your + menu and go to the materials tab of your inventory, hit X to get the game into Hold mode, and then press A to hold up to five ingredients. Once youre happy, close the inventory menu, and walk up to the cooking pot. Press A again to cook, sit back, and see what youve made! If youre particularly lucky, you might hear a musical version of the cooking sound effect, which signifies a sort of critical hit; the resulting meal will give even more hearts than normal.

The lack of a recipe book might put you off experimentation, but the rules are actually quite simple, particularly for food.

Link is an explosive chef when he wants to be. Photograph: Nintendo

The key thing to know is that you can never mix effects: besides healing you, each meal can only ever impart one effect, be that haste, stealth, thunder resistance or protection from cold weather. Dont get greedy and chuck multiple status-imparting things in the pan! At best, youll waste half the ingredients; at worst, youll get a horrible mess that heals few hearts and gives no status boosts whatsoever.

Its also worth experimenting with cooking the same meal in different quantities. While some items will only give longer effects for cooking more at the same time, others will bump the strength of the effect up a tier. Depending on where youre heading, both of those can be useful: if youre exploring an area full of Moblins, for instance, you might want one meal to give you 12 minutes of boosted defence, but if youre taking on a combat trial, youd probably prefer your defence to be tripled for just a couple of minutes.

While theres no cookbook, you can still check the ingredients used in any given recipe. Thats useful if you have to make something that you can buy in a shop, like a few of the elixirs youll need to access some of the more punishing environments. But dont think that just because the shop-bought version contained a particular set of ingredients, thats the only way to make the item.

Shrines

Theres obviously fewer tips to give for shrines, since these gigantic puzzle-boxes are largely standalone. But there are some tidbits that are still good to know.

Dont shirk on arrows when entering a Shrine. Photograph: Nintendo

Always arrive at a shrine with a full complement of arrows. Most things you need will be given to you in the shrine if you have to smash a rock across the map, for instance, therell probably be a sledgehammer nearby but arrows seem to be the exception. You dont want to get almost to the end then run out of projectiles, and there are a lot of puzzles that you cant solve without arrows. Worst case scenario, you can sometimes throw your sword at the target.

If youve beaten a divine beast, dont try to rely on the new powers youve been given. They dont work inside Shrines. Dont discover this the way I did: by losing a gruelling combat 95% of the way to completion.

Try and grab every chest if you can. The vast majority of them will be disappointing, but there are items contained in them which you wont be able to get elsewhere for a very long time. I still use my Climbing Bandana most sessions, for instance.

And the rest

If its raining, dont try to climb a wall. Firstly, check the weather chart in the bottom right if it shows all rain, there may be a story reason for that, which means the weather wont clear up until you change things. If the weather symbols are variable, though, find a dry spot, make a fire (drop some wood, drop a flint, equip a metal weapon and strike the flint), and sit by it for a few hours. Voila! Drier weather.

If youre near water or swamp, try ducking into the Magnesis rune: theres often a metal treasure chest hidden there for you to pull out with your magic powers.

Dont try and catch the blue bunny. Try and shoot it instead. I know, I dont like that any more than you do. Poor bunny.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Link has never been set so free

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