#never have i seen a post more deserving of this tag
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obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog
Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️
Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D
#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a#while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with#and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like#him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing#is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao#she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t#emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao#oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about#max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too#especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao 😂)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually#not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will 😂#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do#you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone#but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions#everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some#degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be#annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me#whoops this post got away from me again oh dear#I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio#giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious#interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving#beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some#of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him#god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)
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Not to make you miraculous post on your pony blog but I feel like Chloe deserved to at least be redeemed somewhat. Why give Zoe all the development?
Chloe should have been redeemed and she & Zoe should have shared the bee miraculous. Imagine the plotlines
#ive posted a lot about how chloe was so so so disappointing but i truly just cannot understate it enough#literally NEVER seen a show fumble that bad#like how do you set up a legitimately good and well paced story arc just to throw it away#some people told me that it was because the creator hated chloe and didnt want her to be redeemed. which like. ok fine#but then why did they go so far out of their way to give her a redemption arc. why did they do that. they just didnt have to do that#but they did it and its so weird!!!#chloe deserved better#ironically them screwing up her storyline so bad made me care about her ten times more than i did before#i havent seen season 5 so again. no spoilers or whatever for that#but just what ive seen of zoe so far im like. man she is boring as hell. they really really really needed Chloe to be the edge of the group#she is truly the missing component#miraculous ladybug#not art#i love putting the meat of the post into the tags. good format#i still have so many miraculous thoughts lol
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reminder GONKI IS MORE CANON 😤😏 so anytime some kg person tries to send hate at you remember it’s just cuz they’re big mad Gonki more canon eheheh 😘🤭
#IS WHY I WONT LET ANY LOSER GET ME DOWN 😤#I KNOW ITS JUST CUZ THEY ARE BIG MAD THE DIRECTOR CALLED KI WIFE AND KIS VA TAGS STUFF GONKI EHEHEH 😘🥰#Naturally sadly on the west side there’s wayyyy more kg people so I don’t mean alll of them obvi but please#on twitter- I mean x#I am like the sole person in the English gonkillu tag mostly#And these kg fans got big mad when there was dare an artist in there for a while who was popular and used gonki tag#LIKE HOW DARE THEY LOL#Losers got so mad over a tag that has hardly anything in it#SO DONT LET ANY OF THEM DRAG YOU DOWN#Most the time they’re hypocrites and losers#AND I WONT LET ANY OF THEM EVER STOP ME#🤧😤🥰#Honestly they’re free to hate it like I hate kg but the fact they go to bully an artist the moment they dare to use the gonki tag is not#Acceptable#That tag isn’t there for you#Its for us few#ANYWAY ILL ALWAYS STAND MY GROUND FOR THE GONKIS#And trust me this is no lie I’ve been harassed ive seen people leave that were gonkis I have even had friends!#open gonki people tell me they are scared to post#LIKE WHAT YOU WANNA BUT LEAVE US ALONE#And no none of them can use the excuse of “heteronormative” or whatever else they want to get away with bullying#ESP NOT WHEN THEY WILL TURN AROUND AND DO THE SAME TROPES WITH THEIR VER LOL do what you want but do not be a hypocrite to send threats#Its all fiction there’s no need to play purity police god will def let you up into heaven cuz you told me to kill myself for#Having Ki in a dress#NOT LOL! TOO BAD 😤 AND KI IS A PRETTY PRINCESS WHO DESERVES DRESSES 😤 PERIOD#I’m sure there’s been a few rotten gk people I don’t accept them as my kin either but from the few of us I do know#We’re never gone to the kg tags or go to those people’s posts and fics LIKE WHY WOULD I EVEN WANNA SEE STUFF I HATE IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE#AND YES I HAVE TWO FOLLOWERS AND NO I HAVE NO ISSUE SPEAKING OUT ESP WHEN PEOPLE I KNOW GET HARASSED SPECIFICALLY BY A KG PERSON#I WILL GIVE US A PEP TALK 😤 ITS JUST CUZ THEY ARE BIG MAD YOU KEEP DOING YOU GONKI IS CANON 😤
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i dont understand i went through both the doctor tag and the emh tag and theres like barely any posts. i know hes not the biggest voyager fan favorite but i thought there'd be more??? reg has more posts in his tag then emh does!!! am i the only one alive who loves emh with my whole heart? im not complaining. more for me.
#have you seen jackie?#i still think i deserve fandom entertainment of him. like i dont understand why there isnt more posts#actuallysurely this is a malfunction..hold on ill test it on a bigger tag#edit: i checked a bigger tag and theres billions millions of posts as per usual so i was right the doctor just has like no posts in his tag#this upsets me greatly. now my fan complex for him is gonna be so strong and now i have to make all the content myself.#and my art of him will never get any notes. fuck you
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in every lifetime
summary: you lost logan in this universe. logan lost you in his. what happens when you both see each other again, but realize that you're both from different worlds? pairing: logan howlett x fem!reader warnings: post deadpool & wolverine ("worst" logan!variant), angst (mentions of death, loss from both reader and logan), no use of y/n. word count: 2.1k a/n: this is my first logan fic, so if anything is ooc, i'm sorry in advanced! just like everyone else, i've been obsessed with hugh jackman / logan after watching deadpool & wolverine (if it isn't obvious lol)... i had the song 'unchained melody' in mind when writing this story because whenever i hear it, i think of logan for some reason lol (tried to embed it but it didn't work, but i'd highly recommend listening to the song while reading this!) anyway, hope you enjoy! next part.
“I’ll be back.”
“But what if–”
“I always come back, bub.” Logan’s looking down at you, hand cupping your cheek. In moments like this, you can see the age in his features. The crows feet at the corners of his eyes. The gray in his hair and beard.
“Logan…” Tears sting your eyes. You know he has to leave, has to go help Charles, but there’s a feeling deep in your gut that knows that if he goes, he isn't coming back.
“Wait for me, then.” He says, dipping down to gently peck your lips. “Okay? Wait for me.”
“Logan,” you repeat. “What do I do if I– if I lose you?”
There’s a feeling in the pit of Logan’s stomach, a sense of dread and fear that he’s only ever felt when you were concerned. This feels a lot like a goodbye… That maybe if he does go, he won’t come back. And the thought alone scares him. He never used to have to think about the possibility of dying, his regenerative powers always healing him in record time, but he knows that he doesn’t heal as quickly as before. He feels more pain now than he ever had. And he knows he’s sick, knows that the adamantium that once gave him strength is now slowly making him weaker.
But now, the thought of dying… It fucking scared him. It scared him to think that he’d leave you here, all alone, grieving him. He had never thought he’d be deserving of someone like you, to be loved and taken care of so gently, so sweetly, so patiently. Even with all of the baggage he carried, you never pushed. He knew, right off the bat, that you deserved someone so much better than him, but you stayed.
Through it all, you stayed.
And Logan would forever be grateful. After everything he’s been through, the things he’s seen, the things he had to do, the people he’s lost, you gave him a life that was finally worth living.
“Then, you move on, darlin’.” Logan finally answers.
“And if I can’t?”
“You’ll have to.”
“I don’t… I don’t want you to go, but I know that you have to. Charles needs you and–”
“I love you with every fiber of my being, baby,” Logan interjects. “And I will love you in every lifetime.”
And that was almost a year ago. The moment he stopped calling, you knew that was it. That he either got into some real trouble or… Or that he was no longer here. It wasn’t until a young girl named Laura showed up on your doorstep, holding his dog tags that your assumptions were correct.
You had fallen to your knees, a sob escaping your lips, as you felt your world come crashing down. Logan’s death had left a gaping hole in your heart, in your life, and everywhere you looked and everywhere you went, all you could see was him.
You learned from Laura that during his last moments, he had told her to come and find you, that you would take care of her and give her a good life. Whenever you were around her, you tried to be strong, tried to put on a brave front, but behind closed doors, you were a complete mess. There were days where you didn’t want to get out of bed, didn’t want to eat; you just wanted the pain to stop. Every night, whenever you closed your eyes, you forced yourself to sleep because that was the only place where you could be with him.
In your dreams, he was alive.
In your dreams, he had made it back home.
In your dreams, he was here with you, helping raise Laura.
And every time you woke up, you were welcomed with the sudden reality that he wasn’t alive. He wasn’t coming back home. He wasn’t ever going to be here with you to help raise Laura.
Logan was dead and now, you had to try and learn how to move on.
For yourself.
For Laura.
For Logan.
—
He didn’t know what he was doing here, why he agreed to stay with Wade because it was driving him crazy. This wasn’t even his timeline; he wasn’t even meant to be here. Despite saving Wade’s timeline, Logan still found it hard to fit in. He tried to keep Wade and every single one of his friends at an arm's distance because he knows what happens to people he cares about.
But the more time he spent around them, the more he felt at ease. Logan would be lying if he said he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, but when Laura mentioned your name at one of Wade’s family dinners, his heart skipped a beat. When he realized he would be able to stay in this timeline, you were all he could think about.
Logan wondered if you existed in this world and what he would do if you did. So, when Laura casually said your name, his head turned around so quickly that he felt dizzy. There were so many things he regretted in his own timeline, but you were his biggest regret.
Just like he failed the other X-men, Logan had failed you too. You had been there with the other X-men, trying to warn them of a planned attack and ended up getting caught in the crossfire. You had called out for him, just like Scott, like Charles, like Storm.
He managed to get to you before you had taken your last breath, holding you in his arms. Logan begged and begged for you to fight, that he’d do things right from now on as long as you just held on, but you were losing so much blood and Logan couldn’t stop it.
Even then, when you had every right to be angry with him, you gazed up at him with an understanding look on your face. You had always been so patient and kind, so sweet and considerate. You had made him so happy and it scared him, which ultimately ended in pushing you away because he didn’t think he was deserving of it. Of you.
“I love you, Logan,” you had said, wincing at the pain.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m–” Logan felt a sob catch in his throat, tears stinging his eyes as he looked down at you. “Please, baby, please please please, don’t–”
“I–” you coughed, eyes fluttering as you felt the pain overcome your entire body. “I will love you in every lifetime, Logan.” And then, you took your last breath, eyes falling shut and body falling limp in his arms.
Since then, Logan drank himself day after day, from dawn to dusk. The alcohol never truly helped, his regenerative powers sobering him so fast, but with every swig of liquor, it burned. And he spent years bringing pain unto others, including himself.
That was, until he met Wade who had given him a chance, a reason to fight for something… To not turn his back on someone who relied on him. A chance for redemption, to finally make things right.
“So, will you meet her?” Laura asks, holding Dogpool in her arms as she gazes up at Logan. “She– She used to be with this universe’s Logan and…”
“No chance, kid.” Logan interrupts, shaking his head. “I’m not him.”
“Did you have someone like her in yours?” she asks. “She’s always put me first, always made sure I was taken care of even when she didn’t have to, when she was grieving. And I think–” Laura sighs. “I think if she knows that some version of you is alive, it would make her real happy.”
“I’m not him,” Logan growls, feeling his irritation spike. “‘Sides, she’s better off without me.” He stands from the table and walks out into Wade’s balcony to get some fresh air, shutting the door behind him as he leans against the railing.
“But she’s coming tonight,” Laura finally says, long after Logan’s walked away.
Throughout the rest of the dinner, Logan remains outside. He can hear the muffled laughter coming from inside and it only angered him because it was just another confirmation that he didn’t belong here. He’s already on his fourth bottle of beer when he hears a familiar voice, smells a recognizable scent. He turns slightly and catches you stepping into Wade’s apartment, an arm slinging over Laura’s shoulders so casually, so maternally.
He feels his heart rate pick up. Your smile still lights up a room and he can’t help but his lips turning upwards at the sight. With his enhanced hearing, Logan can hear your voice and he shuts his eyes for a moment, tuning all of his attention on you until you’re the only one he hears.
Then, he hears your laugh and he lets out a sigh. He never thought he’d be able to hear that again, but his eyes shoot open when he hears you say his name. There’s a shocked tone in your voice, laced with sadness and hope. It all but crushes him because he knows that you’re probably expecting someone else, expecting this world’s Logan and he doesn’t want to disappoint you. Not again. He doesn’t think he’d be able to handle it if he were to hurt you again.
But when he looks at you, his breath catches in his throat when your eyes meet his. Logan notices the surprise look on your face, but before he could try and escape, you’re already walking towards him. When you open the door and step out with him, your scent fills his senses and it makes him dizzy, like he can’t fully concentrate.
“You…” he hears you say, voice unsteady. “You’re not… I’m–” you sigh and shake your head.
“I know who you are,” Logan finally says, his own voice shaky.
Your hands reach out for him, but stopping halfway when you realize this isn’t your Logan. This is not the same man who died all those years ago. This is some version of him – much younger, less wrinkles and gray hairs in his hair and beard, but he still has that same look on his face. The scowl.
“From Laura?” you ask hesitantly.
“From my universe,” Logan answers.
“There– There’s a version of me in your universe?”
“There was.”
“And what happened to me?”
Logan’s jaw tightens. “The same thing that happened to your Logan in this universe.”
“Oh.” Your face drops, eyes softening. “I’m sorry,” you whisper.
Logan wants to run far from here, far from you because he feels himself yearning for more. He almost forgot how it felt like to be near you, to be inches away that he can just reach out and pull you into his arms. Your eyes captivate him, the kindness it expresses makes him feel like he matters. You had always made him feel that way that even through all of his anger, through all of the walls he put up, you showed him that he was deserving of something good. Even if he didn’t believe it himself.
And you… You were the best thing to ever happen to him.
“Don’t know why you’re apologizin’,” Logan mutters.
There’s an uncomfortable silence that engulfs the both of you. He can see the tears threatening to spill over, can see the way your lower lip is beginning to tremble and he has this sudden urge to console you, to wipe away the tears that have now fallen down your cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” you repeat, bringing your hands up to wipe away the tears that seem to be trickling down your face nonstop. “I just– Losing my Logan just crushed me and I don’t think I’ve ever recovered.”
My Logan.
Logan can practically feel his heart beating in his chest. This isn’t a conversation that he thought he would be having and certainly not with someone he loved and died because of him.
“That’s okay,” Logan responds quietly, his tone softening. “I don’t think it’s easy to recover from losing someone you love.”
“Did you– Did you love me in your universe?”
Logan nods slowly, tightening his jaw as he gazes down at you. “With every fiber of my being.”
Your eyes widen and stare up at him. This might be a different Logan, but hearing those words again just brings you back to the moment you last saw your Logan before he left to go take care of Charles.
“Did you love me in yours?” Logan asks hesitantly.
You nod instantly, tears trickling down your cheek as you stare up at him. “I’d love you in every lifetime.”
Logan feels his own set of tears pool at the corners of his eyes and he moves a hand to rest on the railing, fingers lightly brushing against yours as he stares into your eyes.
“I’m not him,” he whispers.
“I know,” you say quietly. “And I’m not her.”
#hugh jackman wolverine#hugh jackman character#logan howlett#wolverine#worst wolverine#deadpool & wolverine#logan howlett fanfic#logan howlett fanfiction#wolverine fanfic#wolverine fanfiction#worst wolverine fanfic#worst wolverine fanfiction#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x fem!reader#post deadpool & wolverine#worst logan!variant#hugh jackman#logan howlett x f!reader
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gorgeous girl ln4
lando norris x fem!reader ( fc: sabrina carpenter )
in which y/n y/l/n breaks up with her cheating boyfriend and fans are rooting for her and lando norris to get together.
warning: swearing, fluff, the timelines of song releases and races are not in order, cheating with multiple people, breakups, relationships, some spelling errors or grammatical errors. lemme know if there’s anything I missed xx
an: I’ve never done a face claim but I wanted to try and see how it works out. I might not do one again but I am not sure yet. ALSO I am very unsure about the name of this cause I feel like it sounds cringe, so I might end up changing it.
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yourusername
liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, y/nfan14 and 334,567,13 others
yourusername over it 🎀 album coming soon loves <3
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user gorgg
user ALBUM PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
yourusername liked this comment
user so prettyyyyy
user MUSIC?
⤷ user omg I am so readyyyyy for an albummm
landonorris beautiful as always
⤷ yourusername 🤍 thank you loveee
⤷ user ARE YALL DATING?
⤷ yourusername only friends xx
user please date lando
user that’s it love!!! he ain’t with your time
user I’ve been listening to espresso and please please please on repeat
yourusername liked this comment
⤷ user SAME
user I LOVE YOU
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music.f1gossip
liked by y/nbiggestfan, espressolover and 55,622 others
music.f1gossip are lando norris and y/n y/l/n dating?
it’s known that y/l/n’s recent breakup was one that didn’t end happily because of her ex boyfriend’s infidelity. y/l/n made a story a few weeks after the breakup stating “he had three different side pieces during the whole relationship” which left fans absolutely shocked.
her ex has been getting a lot of hate from y/l/n’s fanbase to a point where he blocked his comments. he has been flaunting around his new girlfriend since the breakup all while texting y/l/n to take him back which we saw because y/l/n posted their messages on her story as seen above.
however, her next story was one with lando norris which was captioned “my saviour fr” which many speculated it was a mention to norris supporting y/l/n during the breakup and defending her from hate comments that she received. she then made a story showing she was at the miami grand prix.
norris and y/l/n have been best friends for quite a while now and many always thought that they’d end up together, however, neither of them have announced anything about their relationship.
in recent times, norris has been so called ‘flirting’ with y/l/n in her instagram comments which has left both their fans going crazy.
now, do you guys think y/l/n and norris are dating? or they just good friends?
let me know in the comments xx
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user that change up is scary
user damn
user lando’s better anyway
user 💀 I love you right after he called her a bitch is crazyyy
⤷ user frrr like what is this guy on?
user THATS ONLY FOR LANDO
⤷ user HE CALLS HER GORGEOUS GIRL
⤷ user they’re so datinggg
user I love themmm
⤷ user SAMEEE
user SAVIOUR!!! it’s actually so cute how he defends her all then time and even promotes her music
⤷ user THEY’RE cuteeee
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yourusername
liked by landonorris, carlossainzz55 and 456,822,821 others
yourusername P1 BABY!!! I am so proud of you lan more then you will ever know. congratulations love, you truly deserve this 🤍
tagged landonorris
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landonorris thank you gorgeous, couldn’t have done it without your support ❤️
⤷ yourusername ❤️❤️
⤷ user they’re so in loveee
user so cuteeee
user dating!!!!
user please be dating
carlossainz55 you never did this when I had my first win 😔
⤷ yourusername I AM SORRY
landonorris you look so gooddd
⤷ yourusername I am not in the photos
⤷ landonorris yeah but you’re in front of me
⤷ user OMD
user the way he’s shamelessly flirting now, he ain’t even try and hide it.
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“LAN! YOU CAN’T BE SAYING THAT!” she tells him sternly, looking up at him.
he had a boyish grin on his face as he looked at her, “what? can’t tell people that my girl- oh sorry best friend looks good right now?”
“you just exposed our relationship. we agreed to wait three months before saying something.” she spoke softly, standing up as she placed her phone down on the coach.
“I can’t wait that long. I want everyone to know that after eight years you are finally my girlfriend.” he says with a smile as he shrugs his shoulders.
“you’re an idiot.” she replied as she tried to hold a serious face which soon fell into a blushing smile the more she looked at him.
“yeah but i’m your idiot.” he says smugly as he pulls her onto his lap to straddle him.
she places her arms around his neck and rests her forehead against his as she strokes the back of his head whilst he keeps his hands on her hips, using his thumb to lightly stroke her hip.
they stay in silence for a few more moments, letting themselves enjoy a rare peaceful moment before she breaks the silence, “I am really proud of you lan, you really deserved that win today.” she says softly, looking into his eyes.
“thank you baby.” he smiles.
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landonorris
liked by yourusername, carlossainz55 and 453,722,763 others
landonorris P1!! got a win and a girl (ive been her’s for two months now. be jealous)
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user BEEN HER’S!!!
yourusername really?
⤷ landonorris you’re very beautiful
⤷ yourusername 😐
⤷ landonorris gorgeous girl
user just saying what we already knew
user yesssss love tjemmm
user FINALLY
user so cuteeee
danielricciardo proud of you 👍🏼
⤷ yourusername I am a huge fan
⤷ danielricciardo I AM A HUGE FAN
user thought they’d never get together
user TWO MONTHS
user I love you y/n
⤷ landonorris I love her more
⤷ user I’ve been with her though girl meets world. don’t try me norizz.
yourusername liked this comment
⤷ yourusername I love you 🤍🤍
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#ָ࣪ ۰ ⸂ ࣪ darlingletters blog *⋆。˚ 🤍 ˎˊ˗#⊹ ࣪˖ᝰ ࣪ darlingletters driverslist 🛒 ៹ ࣪˖ ◞ ⋆#formula 1#f1 x female reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#lando norris#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x reader#ln4#ln4 x y/n#ln4 x reader#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#ln4 one shot#ln4 x you#ln4 fluff
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tags: stalking, starvation? (yandere not reader), breaking in, reader is thrown around, creepy dude being creepy
a/n: ahh the though of a lousy ex that fumbled a baddie (you) and can’t get over it
yandere ex that swears that he doesn’t care about you after your breakup but still gets jealous when he sees you out on a date with some random loser. you only deserve the best, so what are you doing with a dirtbag like that?
yandere ex who regrets breaking up with you. he didn’t realize what he was missing till it was gone, but swears he’ll do better next time!
yandere ex that stalks your socials relentlessly. i mean, he’s gotta make sure you’re happy without him right? he doesn’t admit that he cries a little everytime you post someone else.
yandere ex who neglects himself while obsessing over you, he hasn’t eaten two days? oh honey it’s because he’s been too busy following you around on your vacation!
yandere ex who finds your new address and breaks in drops by once in a while. the day after his visits you’re confused by your lack in chapstick and hair ties, you swear you just had a ton!
yandere ex who lathers that same chapstick over his lips, trying to get a rough semblance of the kisses you used to give him the only thing that’s the same is the flavor
yandere ex that can’t take it anymore, he wants the real thing just like he had before. he shows up at your front door almost a year after your break up, cleaned up and with your fav flowers.
“hey darling, its been a while huh?”
he says with a sheepish grin. face cleanly shaved and hair just how he knew you liked it. unlike his usual clothes the sweatshirt that smelled like you when you gave it back to him during your breakup he was dressed in a tight white button up and slacks, just to show off his biceps. only for you sweetheart.
“ryan? what-”
you get cut off as he pushes his way inside, stumbling a little.
“get out right now! you have no right coming in like this! ”
you fume and grab him by his shirt but he quickly turns around, flowers long forgotten on the counter as he cages you against the wall. something dark and far more sinister in his eyes than simple love.
and you’re silenced, you’ve never seen him like this. his previously light presence was now damper and more oppressive, you felt like you couldn’t move. hot breath on your face as you try to push against his chest, was he this strong before?
like this wasn’t a terrifying situation for you, he laughs.
“fuck it’s gonna be hard to hold back when you’re shaking like that for me doll”
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levi's jeans | ln4 smau
PAIRING: lando norris x fem quadrant!reader SUMMARY: y/n loves levi's jeans—it's all she wears, ever. so when lando has to draw her in a quadrant video, that's what he draws: levi's jeans. a bad attempt at flirting? maybe, but it gets the ball rolling. A/N: been listening to 'levii's jeans' 24/7 since the album dropped omg
Youtube - Quadrant
Twitter
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yourusername
liked by riabish, landonorris, yourbestfriend and 101,467 others
tagged: landonorris
yourusername happy now??? i don't only wear levi's jeans see😌
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username the lando tag??? lmao his drawing is still on her mind💀
username no but the way I didn't even question it when he drew jeans for y/n lool username @/levis I found yall's next collab partner
landonorris Why'd you tag me in this ���
yourusername u drew the jeans🙄 username ...how about u guys kiss and makeup hmm?😏
username oop get u a girl that can do both iktr!!
username why do i kinda want them to date tho🧍♀️
username babe me too username me three 🙋♂️ username i've been thinking little lando has a crush👀 it was soo obvious in the yt vid
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landonorris posted to his story!
[ caption: New Quadrant video out now!! Swipe up to watch ]
Youtube - Quadrant
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landonorris posted to his story!
[ caption: 👖 ]
[ tagged: yourusername ]
Twitter
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yourusername posted to her story!
[ caption: let's ride 🏍️ ]
[ tagged: landonorris ]
f1gossipofficial
liked by username, username, username and 12,400 others
f1gossipofficial After two months of being spotted together numerous times in London and Monaco, and stirring up dating rumours, Lando Norris and fellow Quadrant member Y/N L/N were recently seen off the coast of Spain, soaking up the sun and looking pretty cosy.
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username it's already been 2 months??? omg can they just say yes or no i'm tired😩
username can yall not read the room? look at the pics and ask yourself if that's how friend act pls username they've been friends for ages before that, it makes sense not to rush into anything tbh
username OMG Y/N'S NOT WEARING JEANS🤩
username cause they're in the ocean??🤣 username a win is a win idc !!
username noo i hope they're just friends😭💔
username they're both so hot omfg
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yourusername
liked by _aarava, landonorris, maxfewtrell and 389,576 others
tagged: levis
yourusername so happy to announce my levi's x y/n collab that's coming out next week friday!!😭 as everyone probably knows (and is sick of lol) i love me some levi's, so this collection has been soo much fun to work on and i'm very excited for you guys to see it!!🤍❤️💙
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riabish soo proud of you 🩷
yourusername ily🥹❤️
username nobody deserved this more than you y/n!! we will be buying !!
_aarava now you have an actual reason to be wearing them as much as you do🤣
yourusername never wearing anything else ever idc !! username hold on now y/n... let's not be rash😀
levis the countdown starts now👀❤️
yourusername 🫶 username i've been wearing y'all since forever where's my collab??
username love you sm y/n!!! <333
username @/yourusername quickly what's ur fav song on cowboy carter??
yourusername levii's jeans ofc😌 username love that for you girl!
landonorris
liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, maxfewtrell and 774,890 others
tagged: yourusername
landonorris Never getting sick of your levi's jeans obsession🤣 So proud of you baby ❤️👖
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username took yall long enough🤧
yourusername 🩷🩷
(liked by author)
username i love you y/n🥰
yourusername u guys better not make that stupid emoji trend again istg😐
username hey girl💞 you might wanna stay off twitter for the rest of the day ! username 👖👖👖(🤭)
username fml
username con😭gra😭tu😭la😭tions😭
3:35 ─────────ㅇ─── 4:17
#f1 smau#f1 fanfic#f1#f1 x reader#lando norris#lando norris x reader#ln4#ln4 x reader#ln4 imagine#f1 imagine#ln4 x you#lando norris smau#lando norris x female reader#lando x y/n#lando x you#lando norris fanfic#smau#lando norris fluff#lando norris imagine#f1 instagram au#fanfic#f1 fic#lando x reader#ln4 fic#f1 scenario#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1#lando norris one shot#formula 1 x you
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so american - ln4
lando norris x fem!sargeant!singer!reader smau
summary; yn sargeant releases her new song which has everyone (and her brother) wondering who is it about warnings; light cursing fc; olivia rodrigo notes; i just had to…
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liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri and 2.891.283 others ynsargeant surprise, “so american” is yours now! hope u like it ;)
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user EXCUSE ME?????
user damn what happened to hello?? how are you?? my name is???
logansargeant what
ynsargeant surprise ?
lilyzneimer sooo good yn! been on repeat all day🫶🏻🫶🏻
ynsargeant lilyyyyyy💘💘 user since when is she friends with lily what user well she’s good friends with oscar but they never interacted with each other before, maybe they’ve hanging out more lately??
user “he’s like a poem i wish i wrote” STFUUUU MY GIRL’S IN LOVE LOVE
user god bless america fr
TWITTER
MESSAGES
INSTAGRAM
ynsargeant just uploaded to their story!
[quick ootd check🤫] [always a pleasure to be here, see u tomorrow ny🍎🫶🏻]
TWITTER
INSTAGRAM
ynsargeant just uploaded to their story!
TWITTER
INSTAGRAM
ynsargeant
liked by landonorris, conangray and 3.568.126 others
ynsargeant life lately🧡🫂
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user there’s no way that isn’t lando
landonorris cute rings who got you those
ynsargeant some rando idk his name landonorris wow.
user that’s a hard launch if i’ve ever fucking seen one
user there she goes again with the orange hearts girl just post him you’re not mysterious 😭
user obsessed with lando flying to ny from monaco for one night just to see her in msg🥹
user ikr my girl’s finally getting the love she deserves
ynsargeant
liked by landonorris, logansargeant and 3.643.675 others
ynsargeant papayaaaaa
tagged landonorris
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user i can’t even pretend to be shocked😭
logansargeant wrong garage but ok😞
ynsargeant they don’t give me free coffee over there alex_albon yn we are broke user no way 😭
oscarpiastri wow we’ve been friends for years and i never got you to wear any of my team’s merch
logansargeant tell me abt it landonorris i have that effect🤷♀️ user damn lando norrizz has rizz
landonorris 🧡🧡🧡🧡
user this comment section isn’t real😭
landonorris
liked by carlossainz55, ynsargeant and 2.679.128 others
landonorris don’t tell her but i might just be in love as well
tagged ynsargeant
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user THE CAPTION
user he does not let go of that camera huh
logansargeant what’s with the hat ynsargeant that’s not very🦅💥💥🇺🇸 of you
ynsargeant i was promised that pic would not leave the camera roll. landonorris sorry baby u just looked so cute oscarpiastri get a room logansargeant don’t?
ynsargeant hahaha you in love🫵🤣
user girl you literally wrote a song about how down bad you are stfu
user mom wake up new parasocial relationship just dropped
user this post being y/n taken by lando and her post being lando taken by y/n🥹🥹🥹
user tooooootally normal abt this
TWITTER
#f1 fanfic#formula 1#f1#f1 x reader#fanfiction#smau#f1 smau#lando norris#mclaren#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris social media au#lando norris smau#lando norris x you#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff#ln4#ln4 smau#lando norris 4#f1 fic#motorsports#formula 1 smau#lando norris fanfiction
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̗̗̀̀➛ killer!billie headcannons
paring: killer!billie x bimbo!reader warnings: smut, obsessive behavior, face sitting, stalking? (kind of), billie kills someone here, grinding, i think thats it tell me if you find any more please!
wc: 1,487
SYNOPSIS: headcannons of killer!billie x bimbo!reader
taglist: @chrissv4mp, if your not a part of this list but want to be comment under my tag list post, which is on my masterlist.
an: i wrote this today 💀 IM ON MY PERIODDD and kind of horny ngl
at first, she didn’t think much of you. she thought you were just another co-worker at her boring office job that sometimes brought everyone coffee, like the angel you were.
until she saw her co-worker, oliver, flirt with you. she knew he was flirting with you because he was touching you. he was touching your shoulder, and touching your hair. and touching, and touching. he would stop fucking touching you.
she hated that it irritated her. hated the way you wore things that made people look, like that skimpy top you wore last week, everyone was looking.
the first time you talked to her, you smiled, gave her a tissue wrapped doughnut and black coffee with one sugar cube. said it was nice to meet her and that you were new here.
it’s either you knew her, or just guessed her coffee preference. but you were so thoughtful.
she unknowingly started to follow you to the empty parking lot and find you fumbling with your keys with papers stacked on one arm.
she imagined helping you, taking those papers from you and handing you her number, maybe you call her and invite her to diner or something, anything.
but she never did anything. only savored the way her hand brushes yours whenever you were handing her the breakfast she relied on.
sometimes she skips meals so she can talk to you.
she didn’t even have to ask. just subtly hint that she forgot her lunch at home—and, oh, whatever will she do?
“you can have some of mine.” you smiled softly, pushing half of your sandwich into her hands.
“oh, i can’t take your food. it’s fine, i can go a day without lunch.” billie said, shaking her head. knowing that you would deny her not eating.
“what? no. half already fills me up you can take it.”
“if you insist.” she smiled.
it wasn’t her fault she followed oliver home. it was his fault, for flirting with what was hers. you.
she imagined stabbing oliver in the neck. hiding the body, and comforting you when you run to her, talking about how awful it is for someone to stab such a nice person.
until she actually killed him.
billie prepared her rubber gloves, the sharpened knife and various things. she thought of her plan. would she just knock on his door and stab him? no. that was too dangerous. someone might see her.
so she decided to sneak in his backyard. he lived alone, with 2 cats and 2 woman constantly coming in and out. great, he was even a cheater. see? he deserved it.
and he even screamed like a pussy. wearing his stupid shark boxers and still had his work button up on.
the next day the police came to see the crime. one of the girls he was cheating on knocked on his door to find his dick severed and his throat slit.
and guess who you came to cry to? her. you cried over someone you barely knew.
“i can’t—” hic. “i can’t believe someone s—” hic.
“shh.” she rubbed your back, while you were crying into her shoulder, you were wearing a light pink skirt on and a pretty top that left nothing for the imagination, “maybe i can come over? bake everyone cookies?”
“mhmm,” you sniffle, wiping your tears and snot on her shirt, “m’ sorry bout' your shirt.” you breathe.
“it’s okay, you can make it up to me. give me two cookies instead of one.” billie said, smiling, hiding her satisfaction.
“i’ll give you four.” you giggle. angel.
so she came over. she walked into your house invited. and she didn’t even stalk you to find out where you live—she was being good.
you opened the door with smallest fucking shorts she’s ever seen, and a tiny pink top, with no bra. which means that your nipples were leaving a small print on the fabric.
she’s in heaven. the whole house was lathered in your perfume and natural scent. and the walls were decorated with paintings and little trinkets. she knew your house wouldn’t be boring, like olivers. she sat on your couch and it was so soft.
she thought of fucking you on it. how your moans would ricochet off the pretty walls and how her cock would pump in your pretty pussy. how you would be too afraid to touch her back in case your accidentally scratched at it and hurt her. you could never hurt her.
how she would convince you to sit on her lap, naked, and whine and whimper, begging her to just fuck you already, like you couldn’t wait any longer.
she imagined convincing you to sit on her face. how you’d be too cautious, afraid to break her nose or neck. you would still do it though, sitting on her pretty face that was filled with a satisfied smile.
she would have her head almost falling off the edge of your bed, offering you to just get off her face if it was too much, it would first start off slow, you hover over her face not even siting. holding and gripping her hands, how she would leave small kisses on your thighs before extending her tongue and tasting you.
you would ‘mhph’ at that, left breathless and feeling your knees go weak, she would take her other hand and guide you to fully sit, she would feel the weight of you on her mouth. how she would shove her long pink tongue into you.
you would moan, still holding her hand and gripping her hair, bucking your hips. actually riding her. how your pouty lips let out the prettiest noises. how would let go of her hand and hold her head with both your hands and squeeze her head between your thighs.
she didn’t do any of that, obviously. just helped you with making your cookies.
you were putting in the chocolate chips now, and billie was holding your waist and watching. in reality, she didn’t do shit to help. only preparing the ingredients and keeping you company.
“now we bake them forr, i think 20 minutes.” you said, pushing the tray into the oven and bending, to reveal your striped panties. she was behind you, could feel your ass pushing against her pelvis.
“your really good at baking.” she complemented.
“thank you.” you blush, and smile.
she realized you were an angel ages ago. but when you offered for her to sleep over? oh.
she entered your room and saw the mess, the thrown dirty underwear and your “work” clothes throw in the corner of the room.
your face was flushed and you apologized for the mess. billie didn’t mind though, even helped you clean, she always treated you well, your mom would love her.
you thought about billie meeting your parents, they would think she was the best person you’ve brought them to meet, since all your other boyfriends only wanted you for your body. their personality was horrible too, they all treated your mom awfully.
but billie would never, she’d probably help your mom in the kitchen when she’s preparing the dinner. and your dad would talk about how he needed a helping hand in his mechanic company. noticing how well she was with her hands.
you imagined how the sweat would roll off her forehead—and now that’s dangerous territory, let’s not think of that.
you let billie sleep in your bed, since you didn’t want her to sleep on the floor with a pillow. that would hurt her back.
you didn’t even think of why her knee was between your thighs, she didn’t mean to push herself behind you and do that
you woke up with billie’s knee between your thighs, she adjusted her position and unconsciously moved her knee upward, causing it to hit your pussy, and you sniffled a moan, putting a hand over her knee and grinding subtly.
you were dirty. even moved your shorts and panties to the side to feel the rough fabric of her sweatpants on your bare pussy, feeling her knee hitting your clit at the perfect angle. almost like she was awake.
you slid your hand under the pillow and gripped, digging your head into the pillow and sniffling your whines.
you felt billie shuffle, and stiffen.
“good morning, angel.” she whispered in your ear, putting your shorts and panties back to their designated spot, not before brushing your clit with her middle finger, “were you busy there? sorry, your whining woke me up.”
you apologized a million times, couldn’t stop thinking of her deep, raspy morning voice in your ears. and her knee.
billie left soon after. she didn’t leave empty handed though, she left your house with a box of chocolate chip cookies and two pairs of your dirty underwear stuffed in her pockets. and a little lip gloss stain on her cheek.
#billie eilish x y/n#billie eilish smut#billie eilish x you#billie eilish fanfiction#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish headcannons
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we used to have more pt. 4 | oscar piastri, pato o’ward
part 1 part 2 part 3
pairing: oscar piastri x reader, pato o’ward x reader
summary: where a talk in a hotel room and a work trip to mexico make things clear for you
fc: different girls from pinterest
warnings: mentions of toxic relationships
a/n: ahhh sorry it took me a while to post this! but finally here it is the last part of this mini series that i loved creating <3 thank you so so much for supporting it the way you did, all the comments, reblogs and likes meant the world to me while writing it💗
—
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yourusername home sweet home
tagged lissiemackintosh
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username dry ass caption
username girlie is NOT happy to be back
username y/n i know you wanted to stay in america but you can at least act a little bit more excited to be back 😭
username the fact it was sunny all weekend and she posted a pic of the only HOUR of rain is diabolical
declanmurray you can at least pretend
yourusername i’m not contractually obligated to
username pls 😭
username idc she’s down MOTHER IS BACK
oscarpiastri happy you’re back! ❤️
username chat when the guy you’re off and on for years says he’s happy you’re back how to do you react?
username ohhh but we’re having THE fashion icon that is y/n again at the paddock i cannot complain
patriciooward have fun!
yourusername <3333
username pls the way she ignored oscar so severely 😭
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patriciooward can never say no to a side quest
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username NORBIIII 🥰
username every photo was whiplash after whiplash
username incredibly cute and incredibly hot
username don’t push girls
username i am that cookie actually
username i need him in a way that’s concerning for feminism
yourusername boys 🥹
patriciooward miss you!
username no they are my parents
username oscar i was rooting for you but now … i’m not so sure
liked by patriciooward, maxverstappen1 and others
yourusername the prodigal son returns home 🇲🇽
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username omg is this a hard launch??? what is this !!!
username patoooo 💖
username the way you can see everything about her posting changed since she arrived in mexico
username is it wrong to assume it’s because she’s with pato again? 😩
username pato and y/n in mexico is everything
username ohhhh oscar reaaaally fumbled this time
username nahhh im being delusional thinking oscar still has an opportunity (pls y/n give him a chance 😩)
username well, at least she’s posting again 🥳
patriciooward ☀️
yourusername ☀️✨✨💫
liked by indygossip, f1wags and others
f1gossip indycar and mclaren’s reserve driver patricio o’ward was seen last night having dinner and sharing a kiss with f1 community manager y/n y/l/n
it has been rumored for a few years that she was on a relationship on and off with mclaren’s oscar piastri, but it was never confirmed as the driver kept going back to his exgirlfriend
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username not oscar catching strays 😭😭
f1gossip 🤷🏽♀️
username honestly i can’t be mad about this. she deserves someone who makes her happy and pato obviously likes her. they look good together 💗
username THAT SHOULD BE MEEEE
username someone check on oscar 😩
username watch him go back to his exgirlfriend after hearing the news 🙄
username genuinely hoping he doesn’t do that otherwise he’s just reinforcing y/n’s decision of moving on
username anddd that relationship CANNOT be healthy, for either of them
username i knew they were together from day one, y’all were just blinded by oscar
username because they’re meant to be 😭😭
username in another life perhaps!
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patriciooward favorite place with the greatest company ❤️
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username ahhh the masters of hard launching i’m so here for this
username THE DRESS
username i don’t know if i wanna be pato or y/n in this situation
username okay don’t rub it in 😭
miguelsossa where’s my photo creds for the second one? 🤨
patriciooward 📷: miguelsossa
miguelsossa thanks it means a lot make sure to pin that comment so everyone can see
username pls why did i thought y/n and pato went out without the whole gang 😭
declanmurray HAH don’t make me laugh
milesbaldwin we do leave them alone sometimes
patriciooward …
lissiemackintosh 😮
username speechless at this
username i’m sure pato is a saint because dealing with y/n’s friends must be a handful 🙏🏽
yourusername beautiful 🤍
patriciooward how’s the weather now? :)
yourusername warm enough, you?
patriciooward clear skies
username STOP THEYRE SO CUTE 🥰
liked by georgerussel63, exgirlfriend and others
oscarpiastri happy place ❤️
tagged exgirlfriend
comments for this post have been disabled
—
taglist; @heavy-vettel @a-beaverhausen @astroniii @chunkpiboli @theonottsbxtch @eclecticcreatorweaselsalad @charli123456789 @stopeatread @coriyaps @nina-or-anna-or-nora @ninasw0rld @loveelylani @marauders-wife @dramallama9 @mxdi0 @piastrigate @ladyoflynx @prudyhoo @idkwtdwml123 @southernbaguette @ellelabelle @emryb @fastfactory @comicalivy @seasonswinter @no-144444 @lunamelona @saachiep81 @nataliambc @patis643 @softtina @chemiru @obxstiles @eiaaasamantha @youre-on-your-ownkid @wcnorris @hwalllllllelujah @soleilgrec
#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri one shot#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri angst#f1 x reader#f1#formula one#formula one x reader#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri fanfic#op81#smau#oscar piastri smau#f1 smau#formula 1 smau#social media au#mclaren smau#patricio o'ward#pato o'ward#patricio o'wardx reader#pato o'ward x reader#patricio o'ward smau#pato o'ward smau#patricio o'ward x y/n#pato o'ward x y/n#patricio o'ward fanfic#pato o'ward fanfic#patricio o'ward imagine
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summary: it's been a while since the last time you saw him, but you missed him so terribly.
warnings: angst/comfort. Happy endings for the win *sobs* Pt. 2 of these scenarios
characters: Zayne, Rafayel, Xavier x reader (separately)
a/n: I wanted to apologize. I got some comments saying that perhaps I wrote them a bit too ooc and that they wouldn't do something like this, so I was thinking maybe I should step out from writing these; I'm probably not understanding the characters very well. I'm really sorry! I had this one written already, so this is probably going to be the last post I make! Thank you for your support! In only a couple of days you guys were so amazing and loving, I'm super moved and I don't deserve you all at all ❤️
classification: scenarios
tag list: many of you asked me to tag you in the second part, I hope you guys like it! 💕
@biitchyberry @rosaryia @lcheerymotion @mo0nforme
ZAYNE ❄️
It's been four weeks since your argument with Zayne. The first days had been like hell. You had already tasted the honey of a relationship with the person you liked the most and loved the most. You wanted more of him, you needed more. You felt anxious without him, like you had become addicted to his kisses, his gentle touch, and the sweet words he whispered in your ears. You missed him more than you dared to admit.
The days passed slowly, each second seemed to last an eternity. When you got home you felt the emptiness of his presence and you felt like dying, but life continued on, and eventually you got used to being without him. The pain was still present, but more bearable as time kept its course.
You had stopped frequenting the places you knew he liked for fear of running into him. The dessert shop, the cafe near the hospital, the night stands near the library. You even avoided getting sick so you wouldn't have to go to the hospital. Your life was limited to going to work and coming straight home, with occasional visits to buy groceries.
You would never have thought that you would have to live a life again without Zayne and only because he didn't know how to separate his friendships from his romantic partner. So smart, but so stupid at the same time.
You sighed, returning to the present and the food you were making; it was too late when you realized it, but unconsciously you were making one of his favorite dishes. You weren't going to waste the food, so you just carried on trying not to think much about it.
“Now, where did I put–,” you stopped, surprised by the sudden knocking on your door. You frowned, you were not expecting anyone, but the knocking continued once more and you sighed, turned off the stove. “I'm coming.”
You regretted opening the door. Opening just a crack to see who it was, your heart fluttered in your chest as if there was a small caged bird inside it. Zayne was standing in front of you. He looked ridiculously tired, more than you'd ever seen him. The bags and dark circles under his eyes were deep, his skin did not look radiant and healthy as always and his eyes did not shine like emeralds.
Your hands were sweating and your insides were churning. "Are you okay?" You asked with a broken voice. Zayne shook his head and he fainted, but with a gasp, you quickly wrapped an arm around his waist and tried to keep him upright. “Zayne! Hey, what's happening?”
Zayne didn't answer you, and just leaned on you. Not knowing what to do, you dragged him inside and carefully guided him to your room. Once there, you laid him down on your bed, he looked weak.
“Zayne? Can you hear me? Are you okay?”
He mumbled your name and your heart raced. “I'm… I am sorry,” he said as he finally passed out. You gasped, but soon heard the soft snores you were so used to.
Was he that exhausted? And what was he doing at your house? You frowned, fighting back the stinging sensation in your eyes as you tried to hold back some tears. He really always appeared to stir everything inside you. You had already accepted your life without him, but here he was. You sighed heavily, taking off Zayne's shoes and covering him with a blanket.
Your eyes couldn't help but admire him. Even though he was tired, he still looked as handsome as ever. It seemed like a dream, an illusion that would disappear at any moment. You wanted it to happen. You wanted him to disappear, but at the same time, you wanted to take him in your arms and kiss his face. But no, clearing your throat, you grabbed an extra blanket and left the room, closing the door behind you. It was better to let him rest so he could leave as soon as he got up.
The next morning you woke up to soft steps. Sitting up and whining a little after sleeping on the couch, you saw Zayne coming out from your bedroom. His hair was messy and he was rubbing one of his eyes like a little child, something warm spread across your chest and a smile tried to spread your lips, but you stopped it. He seemed more rested, the bags under his eyes had diminished considerably and his skin looked a little more alive.
“Zayne.”
He seemed a bit startled as he looked at you with slightly wide eyes. “Hello… I am sorry I fell asleep.”
You hummed, folding the blanket. “Haven't you been sleeping well?" You didn't want to sound worried, but you were.
“I haven't… I constantly have nightmares and I've been working over time… a lot more."
“Why?”
“Because I can't stop thinking about you,” he said and despair filled his eyes. “You have no idea how much I've missed you. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I have been working nonstop so I can have my mind occupied, but you're always there, in the back of my head.”
Don't cry. Don't cry!
“And what exactly do you want me to do about it, Zayne?” You said coldly, wanting to get over with this.
Zayne approached you and you couldn't move as he took your hands. “Please, please. Give me another chance. I swear. I swear in my life that I do not have feelings for her. I just… I was just stupid and took you for granted. Please, my love, please.”
Tears began to well up in your eyes and you cried even harder as Zayne grabbed your face. "N-No, don't touch me.”
“Please. How can I show you I truly want you? Do you want me to stop talking to her? I'll do it. I'll do it, so please. Just… please. I can't live without you.” His words sounded sincere.
His eyes were glassy and the pain on his face was evident, but your heart still hurt. How did you know that he really wouldn't leave you as a second option anymore? You couldn't even tell him to stop talking to Miss Hunter, you knew this was just Zayne's fault.
“Zayne… Zayne you're hurting me so much.”
“I know. I know I am and I am terribly sorry for this. I love you. I truly love you.”
You also loved him, so much.
“... If this ever happens again, Zayne… I won't forgive you another time. Remember that.”
His green eyes shone with happiness as he pulled you into a tight hug. You hugged him back, the tips of your fingers tingling as you felt his warmth, the tip of your nose digging into the crook of his neck, you breathed deeply, enjoying his scent.
“You're on trial, Zayne.”
Zayne chuckled and he nodded. “Yes. You won't regret me, I promise you.”
RAFAYEL 🐠
Life was boring without him. He was the spark and the spice in your days. With him, every day seemed like a small adventure, but now that you no longer saw him, the days seemed dark and lifeless. You didn't even remember how much time had passed since that day. One week? Three days? Two months? You weren't sure and, honestly, you tried not to think about it too much because, even though you missed him, the pang of pain in your heart almost made you gasp for air every single time you recalled every moment with him. It was almost as if his bodyguard had also been there, on every date with Rafayel, for all of your conversations were about her.
He was full of praise for her. He named each of her virtues and laughed affectionately at her defects. He didn't accept anyone claiming that they were better than her or stronger, because his precious bodyguard was the strongest and the bestest. Just thinking about it made you feel tears filling your eyes. You didn't want to remember any of it, but as you held your phone with your thumb hovering over the dial button, you couldn't stop thinking about how miserable Rafayel made you feel, even when he also made you feel like the most loved person in the world.
When he didn't have his mouth full of his wonderful bodyguard, Rafayel showered you with affection. His kisses, his hugs, and his caresses all felt full of love and tenderness. His beautiful eyes looked at you sweetly, as if you were the most precious thing that ever existed on earth. He liked to tease you and make you laugh and he always said that you were like a muse for all his paintings: The sparkle in your eyes, the color of your hair, the texture of your skin, the curves of your body, everything was inspiration.
How could he be so cruel and loving all at the same time? Poor bodyguard, you even didn't like her although she hadn't done anything wrong, as far as you knew.
Sighing, you finally tapped on the green button and your heart raced faster and faster at every beep coming from the other side of the line. Would he answer you? Was he… with her? Was he busy with one of his paintings? What if-
His voice calling your name surprised you, making you jump. “I’m here! Hi!” he sounded out of breath and your cheeks blushed. “Hmm, h-how are you d-doing?”
“Rafayel…,” you took a deep breath. “I… have some clothes at your place. Could I stop by later to get them?”
“YES! I… I mean… yes. I'll- I'll be here all day. You can stop by at any time you want.”
“... Right. Then, see you there, Rafayel.”
You let out a long sigh after hanging up. You had forgotten how wonderful his voice was and the way he pronounced your name. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach. You were going to see him, you were really going to come again, but you shouldn't be excited. What if he and his bodyguard were dating? The thought made your stomach twist and you decided it was best to leave immediately. The quicker you finish this, the better.
As always, the door was open, but you didn't immediately enter, your hands were shaking and your heart was racing against your ribcage. You didn't want to see him.
Taking a deep breath, you gently pushed the door open and you were greeted with that aroma that you had missed so much. The smell of acrylic paint, the sea and Rafayel's scent. You couldn't help but take a long breath- this exquisite smell felt like home. Your eyes watered a little, but you tried to stay calm as you walked deeper into the spacious house.
“R-Rafayel? Are you here? "You heard a gasp from the room and in a second, Rafayel appeared in front of you. Ah, he looked as wonderful and beautiful as always. His gorgeous eyes were wide, looking you up and down as his mouth stretched into a shy smile. You wanted to hug him. “The door… was open so I just- I'm sorry.”
“No! That's okay! I… I left it open for you!”
You nodded. “I see… do you mind if I just…”
“No, go ahead, please.” You excuse yourself as you made your way to his room, as you passed by him you felt your legs tremble and you gasped in surprise when he suddenly took your hand.
“Rafayel, what-
“Please, forgive me,” he begged, his eyebrows furrowed in a painful expression. “I was absolutely wrong, you were so right. I was stupid and careless and hurt you so badly.”
“Rafayel… I just came for my clothing, let me g-
“Please!” He hugged you and you went stiff. “Please, please,” he sobbed in your ear.
“Are you crying?”
He nodded. “I can't live another second without you. I can't paint anymore. I feel like a piece of me has been taken away, I live half and barely. I really, really do not have feelings for my bodyguard. You're the only one I can think about.”
“Then why-
“I just… I was just stupid, I didn't mean anything to hurt you, I swear! When I said I missed her, what I wanted to say is that I wanted to train with her, I would never make you train, that's too dangerous,” he started to explain in a rush. “When I told you about the candies, it's because she gave me some amazing chocolate I wanted to gift you and then-
“Rafayel-
“Please. Just this once, I swear,” he said, finally showing his reddened face, tears streaming down his face. You gulped, reaching up to clean his tears away and he whined. “I wasn't there to wipe your tears, I am so sorry.”
That made you burst into tears. That's right, you really wanted him to wipe your tears. He gently cupped your cheeks and his thumbs brushed against your cheeks, catching all of those tears falling from your pretty eyes.
“You can break up with me if I do something like that again! But please… just this once. I love you so much. I really do.”
You looked at him, His eyes were still wet and some tears were still falling down his cheeks. Maybe…
“Just this once, Rafayel… I won't forgive anything like this ever again.” He beamed and leaned down to capture your lips in a kiss, but you covered his mouth, frowning slightly. “I'm still mad at you.”
He blinked and gently smiled behind your hand before taking it in his. “Of course, I'll prove myself to you, beautiful creation.”
XAVIER ⭐
You couldn't sleep. It's been two weeks since you last slept properly. Two weeks ago you were in Xavier's arms and he held you lovingly, whispering words of comfort in your ears. You weren't sure why, but being around Xavier always made you feel relaxed, a little sleepy, but never bored. You loved spending lazy times with him, taking naps and frolicking in bed, giggling like fools and giving each other soft, tender kisses.
With his warmth and love it was not difficult to fall asleep at night, he always wanted to sleep so that tranquility that emanated from him was enough to relax you and make you sleep throughout the whole night. In the mornings you felt rejuvenated and full of life and seeing his sleepy smile was like living in a dream.
You felt your bottom lip quiver into a pout. You missed him too much. You never thought he would behave that way. Had you never really been important to him? If he wanted to be with his partner so much, why had he even agreed to go out with you in the first place?
“Agh! I hate you Xavier!” You cried, banging your fists against the table in your kitchen. “Why did you let me fall in love with you?” Maybe you really had gone crazy, talking to the table like that.
There was no time for this. It was almost dark and you still needed to go buy some groceries for your dinner. You struggled out of your house, so tired and dragging your feet. You wanted to sleep... with Xavier. You wanted to feel his warmth. But... what if he now wrapped his partner in his arms? Your cheeks turned red and, trying to avoid thinking about it, you hurried to catch the bus.
You found a seat near the door and next to a young man, there weren't as many people as you imagined and as the bus started to go you felt your eyes heavy. Maybe... you could sleep for a few minutes? The store wasn't far away, so just a few minutes... just a couple of minutes…
You heard your name being called between clouds. From far away. Over and over and over. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.
“Hmm?” You opened your eyes and gasped, How long had it been?! Where were you? And... why was your head...? Had you fallen asleep on someone's shoulder?! "Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" You said, raising your head only to find that the young man next to you... "Xavier?!"
The hunter blinked, his eyes avoided yours for a second before looking directly at you and nodding a small greeting. Had he been there next to you the whole time? You could barely notice what was happening around you with how tired you were, but, strangely, you felt very good. It seemed like he really was the cure for all your ills. You chuckled softly, shaking your head. Xavier looked at you confused, tilting his head to the side like a little bird.
“I'm sorry, Xavier. I didn't know you were there,” you jumped, “but wait, where are we?!” Checking outside the window, you could tell you were far away from the store now.
“We're almost at my place,” he said gently and the alarms in your head set off. His partner... didn't she live in the apartment below?! Oh no. Before, you had no problem staying at Xavier's house, but... if they were really in a relationship…
“I gotta go,” you said, seeing the next bus station. It was already dark outside.
“Where are you going?” Xavier asked and you frowned.
“What do you mean? Back home. I only wanted to go to the store, but I fell asleep as you could see… Now it's even dark. Thankfully it's not raining,” you were babbling to yourself as you waited to arrive at the next stop, when you finally did, you got up. “Sorry about that, Xavier. Goodnight.”
"Now... The next bus…," you mumbled checking the bus's schedule. "10 minutes? Lucky~"
“I'll go with you.”
You couldn't help but squeal and jump when you heard his voice right behind you. Turning around, you saw him standing there, as tall as he was and as bright as the stars.
“I'll take you home. It's dark. Something could happen.”
You rolled your eyes. "What could happen, I'm only going home.”
“Some witnesses have seen wanderers in the area. I can't let you go alone."
You sat on the bench, arms crossed, Xavier sitting next to you. "Ah, that's true. I'm not strong like your... Forget it." Your cheeks turned red. Very well! Keep opening your big mouth! Xavier didn't say anything, but you could feel his gaze on you and the blush on your cheeks traveled to the tips of your ears.
Silence reigned between you. You could feel him, his warmth, he was so close to you, you could reach out and touch his knee. Your eyes felt heavy, you wanted to hug him.
“I am sorry,” he suddenly said and you thought you imagined it but then he repeated it. “I am sorry for what I said the other day.” You turned to look at him and flinched when he saw his bright eyes looking sad and red. “I don't know what I was thinking. Talking like that in front of my girlfriend. Acting like I didn't want to have been there with you, but you're the only person I want close to me. I don't like nor have feelings for my coworker, I only want and need you.”
He gently wiped a tear from your rosy cheek, his touch was electrifying.
“You haven't been sleeping well.” You didn't answer, but he continued. “I haven't been able to sleep either. I keep recalling that day and seeing your crying face, I can't stand it… please forgive me.”
He took your hands and you finally looked up at him, your eyes widening as you saw a small tear fall down his cheek.
“I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I still beg you, I beg you to give me another chance. I promise I'll do better. Something like this will never happen again. I was an idiot."
You frowned, “you were an idiot. Do you have any idea how you made me feel? It's hard to believe you love me.”
He nodded, listening to you carefully. “I know it's hard to believe, but please let me prove it to you, let me show you how much I love you, please. I can't be without you anymore, my star. I need you, otherwise I'll go crazy. Please.”
You sobbed and Xavier gently pulled you close to him. Wrapping you between his warm arms. You tried to pull away, but he didn't let you and soon you melted in his embrace, crying into his work clothes.
“Please, give me another chance.”
You nodded softly. Just one more chance. “There's not gonna be a second time,” you warned between sobs and he chuckled, kissing the top of your head.
“I won't need them. I will treasure you as the most valuable thing that you are. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”
#love and deepspace#love & deepspace#love & deepsace x reader#love and deepspace zayne#love and deepspace xavier#love and deepspace rafayel#zayne x reader#rafayel x reader#xavier x reader#zayneslady#*scenarios
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Fair trade
John Price x Reader
Cross posted from AO3.
This one shot deals with heavy topics such as emotional manipulation, emotional abuse from family, and self-objectification.
I'm begging you to read the tags before pursuing the story. Thank you so much for taking care of yourself first. 🦊
If you're looking for some aftersex comfort, recommending this by @/karlachismylife. 🧡
Summary: John helps you out of the toxic pattern your family has woven around you, and finds how utterly gorgeous you are behind it. He cuts your strings, and loves you the way you deserve.
18+
Word count: 10k CW: smut (cunnilingus, blow jobs, sex seen as a form of self-harm, sex seen as a way to feel useful), heavy angst, hurt/comfort, dubcon if you squint.
Masterlist 🦊
𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬
“No, we can’t come over, darling.”
To have a life planned out must be a dream. No worries nor fears, because everything is already outlined—a step-by-step guide, given to you at birth. A path, a purpose.
To give is your purpose.
It’s been ever since before you hit the eighteen mark; the birthday being only a threshold that signed your legal independence.
But you’ve always been, haven’t you? Shadowed by bigger problems ever since you were a small thing because there wasn't trouble that mattered less than you did.
The difference being that before you were shielded by your naïveté, by the bleeding heart they’ve carefully built for you, so you’d bend and break pliantly, even willingly at times, without ever realizing.
Now you're an adult, they'd implied.
Now they can use you at your full potential, and you won’t even put up a fight. You won’t set boundaries, because this is all you’ve ever learned. This is all they’ve ever taught you. Their perfect mold, kneeling in perfect obedience.
But how much can one take in a lifetime?
“Thanks for the help, love. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Will you?”
“Of course.”
But staring at the phone won’t make it ring.
When you’ve never had a moment for yourself but plenty of time to dedicate to others—where do you draw the line of this so-called purpose, then?
“Happy birthday sweetheart.”
“It’s next week, mum.”
“Oh. I must have mixed it up.”
This goal—this agonized prize, towering at the finish line you’re desperately running to, the one defined by your family the moment your first cry pierced the air—what is it, exactly?
It’s a cascade of praises. It’s a shower of love that reawakens you from your torpor like a bucket of ice-cold water. It's abrupt but somewhat needed until it slowly becomes fresh instead of freezing, and it hydrates your skin and soothes the thirst. You feel rejuvenated, coming out of your lethargy, and alive and thriving and—
It stops.
Your fifteen minutes of unbridled, limitless love just snatched away in spare seconds.
And you’re parched again. Sometimes, they leave you wanting until you’re on your knees. Sometimes, they never give it back.
And so, the questions arise—what happens when you’re not needed anymore?
What happens when the calls plummet?
When the visits diminish until there are none?
When you're a ghost haunting your own life because your purpose is slowly vanishing. When that prize stands in the distance as a rushing fountain of praises and kindness, but you've already given a hand, an arm, your legs, your voice, your heart. What then?
How do you move, exactly, if there are no limbs to which attach the strings? How will you speak, if they’re not shaping your voice?
How does your puppeteer lift you from the floor? Your ventriloquist—how will it force you to agree to every demand?
“You... met without me?”
“Sweetheart, we thought you were busy.”
“You could’ve asked.”
“You would’ve said no.”
But you wouldn’t have. You’re not even sure you can say ‘no’ to them.
Is there someone who will hoist you up, when you’re nothing more than a torso, and take you to the finish line?
“Uh, darling, mind calling later?”
“I’m not feeling fine, I was hoping—“
“I’m busy, love.”
A therapist for your mum.
A crutch for your dad.
An advocate for your brother, but you’re no one to them.
A child, once. A person, now.
A notification on their phone. A Google reminder of a birthday.
A missed call. An excuse.
A vacant shape in a family photo. A memory, then nothing.
Raised to serve. But what happens when there’s no one to serve?
“What you’re doing to me is not fair.”
“I don’t like that attitude. Don’t forget how much we did for you.”
Your hands are tight around the steering wheel. White knuckled fists and creaking leather. The car smells of stale tobacco, cigarettes you’ve smoked with your offhand limp out of the car window, then stubbed in the portable ashtray.
"We love you, of course we do. How could you ask that?"
It's raining but your window's rolled down, a ciggie snug between two fingers. Elbow propped on the car door, arm hanging out. The sleeve of your sweater is soaked, and the cigarette is sodden. You don't even notice it when you bring it to your lips and take a drag. Nothing fills your lungs.
It’s fine.
It's a habit. It's autopilot. You go. You exist.
“It really doesn’t feel like it. You haven’t called in weeks.”
“It’s just—we’re people too. We’re busy.”
“You’re not busy for my brother.”
“He’s—you’re different, darling.” You’re used. We’ve consumed you.
It’s a feeling of emptiness that spills out of every hole like heavy smoke, clouding your senses. A husk that billows dark tendrils from its eyes, moves mechanically like an alien imitating a human being.
It's fake. You're a dummy. Unhuman. A thing.
“I just need your help. I—I’m not fine. I’m not asking for much. Just an evening toge—”
"So much is happening right now. You can deal with it on your own, love.”
You close the car door once you've parked it in the garage. Up the stairs you go, dragging your feet on every step.
“Like you’ve always done.”
Would this world exist even if you weren’t in it? Would these stairs lead to your apartment, if you didn’t inhabit it?
Is your flat even yours? Sure, you’ve paid for it. The party you threw after your signature was placed on the contract is still a cherished memory.
But what were you even celebrating? Four walls. A roof over your head. A bed to kip.
It’s a lot, you’re aware. Not everyone can say they own all that. But do you?
They’re things. Can you own things?
Surely, you are owned. By them.
But you’re not even sure you need things. You can’t need, because things don’t need. And what are you, if not a thing? Because things are used, not humans. Humans fight back, eventually. Humans hold their pride dear, it's the only character that separates them from animals, from meat. You never bit back, not once. So what does that make you, if not theirthing?
Your purpose is not a choice you made, it’s theirs. You have to give—that is why they made you.
You own, so you can give them.
You earn, so you can give back.
Because who’s given you a roof when you couldn’t afford it yourself? And the food in your belly?
Darling, it wasn’t for free. You were expensive to raise. You were costly to craft, to mold, to perfect.
But they haven’t called. No one has. No one will.
The master left the strings—and what of you, now? Do you just lie limply on the floor, waiting for the next hand that'll hoist you up?
And if they don’t call to ask from you, how do you know you’re doing fine? How do you know if the finish line is close when they took your eyes already? How do you ask for help, if you don’t have a voice?
But that was the point. Their goal. They own you, and without them, you’re nothing but a heap of wood, infested with termites. Wooden rods on the floor, nylon strings cut short. You’ll grovel and beg, they’ll croon at you in mockery, bleeding you dry, but it will be enough for you—anything would be enough for you.
You unlock the door. John hears and his head peeks from the kitchen.
“Hi love,” he rumbles, and you feel it shaking your heart.
Does he need you?
John Price is a captain of the special forces who has gone through hell and back. He's witnessed things you've only heard from the mouths of journalists or read in black-and-white papers, and he came out of each one of them unscathed. Strong. Resilient.
He doesn’t need you.
“Sortin’ out dinner,” he adds, and returns behind the wall that separates the living room from the cooking area. “You’re gonna love this pasta, I’m telling you.”
Of course, he doesn't need you.
The house is pristine. He takes care of it while you’re at work since he’s off deployment. He’s going to be home for a while now, a handful of months. That’s a good thing, you miss him when he leaves.
It’s you who needs him. But you can’t need, so how does this work, exactly?
How do you explain that hole in your stomach that relentlessly craves to be filled? That makes you want to curl on the floor. Turn into dust and seep through the cracks of the hardwood.
Disappear. Invisible. Paper-thin.
Because maybe you're tired of being needed. Perhaps you want to break through that mindset and start needing something.
You chastise yourself for even concocting the thought.
You stand stock still at the door. You hear nothing but the blood rushing in your ears and John moving pans around the kitchen.
You see his head at the doorway again.
“Love?”
Your eye twitches, but you don’t answer.
He doesn’t need you. Then why is he here?
There are plenty of people out there who’d love to bend for him. Mouths he can kiss. Holes he can fill.
That’s what people are, no?
No. That's what you are.
You’ll make him need you. You’ll show him that you’re fundamental, not just another hole. That you cannot be replaced, because you can't afford to lose him. You can't.
It’s selfish, it is.
You cannot be selfish, it’s not what you were taught. But you will. Just today, just now. The first apparent tear into the careful pattern threaded by your family.
But it's not really a hole, is it? If you're carving it to escape a trap, only to fall back into another one of your own making.
You hurriedly toe off your wet shoes and walk with purpose to the kitchen, dropping your bag on the floor as you do. He quirks a brow at you and your silence, but his face soon morphs into sudden confusion when you come to stand in front of him and drop to your knees.
You know how to do it—how to make people smile.
Your empathy is unmatched. You read people's tics, their quirks. Gauge them from the way they move their lips, the words they use, the way they look at you.
And John—oh, he loves how you work with your mouth.
And if he needs your mouth, then by extension, he needs you.
Your hands palm his thighs as you flutter your lashes up to him. He's forced to lean back against the kitchen counter, but he's not looking at you the way he usually does—not with his lidded blue eyes, heavy and wanton.
John looks dubious instead. Even flinches when you press your cheek to the crotch of his jeans, stroking the fabric to your skin. Denim’s rough, and it especially hurts when the plump of your cheek catches the zipper’s teeth.
Good.
Let him take. And let it hurt.
“What’s goin’ on." He states, doesn't ask.
Please, take.
You’re already working through the button and the zipper when you answer, fingers shaking as you do. “I wanna suck your cock.”
Now, John wouldn’t normally complain, but you sound much different from the other times in which you actually do want to suck his cock.
He hums, allowing you to palm him through his briefs, gently but firmly pressing your hand where he’s still soft. You nose him through the cotton, flattening your tongue against his dick—you can feel it twitch under the muscle. Good, means his body is responding how you want him to.
His hands curl painfully tight around the lip of the counter.
It’s so silent except for your heaving breaths warming up his length and the buzzing fire on the stove.
You place tender kisses as you feel him harden under your lips.
He's looking at you to try and gauge the reason behind all this. It's clear to him that you're not being your usual self, there is something in your eyes that tickles him in the wrong place. You know he knows—you know he's gathered something's wrong. He’s ever so attentive, capturing every minimal change in the wrinkles of your face.
You're so akin to him when it comes to that.
You don't give him time to ponder for long, though. You take his cock out of his briefs and force it into your mouth.
John knocks his head back against the cupboard and fixes his eyes to the ceiling, wide open. A heavy breath leaves him languidly. His cock chubs up as it sits heavy on your tongue, and you can feel it fill up your mouth.
“Christ.”
Yes. It’s what you want, to hear him lose himself in you.
You start slowly, pumping your hand at the base along with the movements of your lips, mindful of keeping your teeth out of the way. Tilting your head sideways, you let the tip of his cock push against your cheek while your tongue lavishes the malleable skin around its length.
Your eyes swivel upward, and you're met with the view of his corded neck, tight and straining as he refuses to look at you.
No.
He needs to know it’s you.
He needs to understand that you can give this whenever he wants, that you're not just another mouth. That no one else is as versed as you are when you eat him up. Your tongue knows how to follow the vein along the velvet of his skin, all the way to the slit on the tip. Your hand knows how to cup his balls and brush the seam in the middle—how he shudders, each time you do.
He needs to know that.
He can’t let you go. Not him too.
He has to hoist the limbless torso that you are towards the finish line, where you’ll get your caresses and your praises and your prize: the crumbs of love you’ll lap until your famished heart stops rumbling.
So, you drift your free hand upward and thread your fingers through the curls on his pelvis, gently grazing the skin with your nails. Then, you drum the pads on his soft belly, feeling them dip into the flesh and hit the harder muscles underneath. You splay your palm in the middle of his stomach, where you can feel the blood rushing madly as his heart pumps all the same.
It’s enough for you, the bodily reaction to the softness of your mouth.
But why isn’t he looking at you?
Recognize that is me. That I can make you feel good. That you need me, that you still do.
In the desperation of the moment, you opt for the best you can do: you take him deeper. The hand at the base of his cock moves to flatten on his thigh, and you carelessly widen your jaw to take more, and more, and more.
You flatten your tongue against the underside of his shaft and then twirl it around, all the while hollowing your cheeks without ever daring to take your eyes off him. That way, if he decides to look down at you, he'll find you teary-eyed and wanting—perfectly on your knees, like a devotee, no matter how artificially placed.
Your lips slide so easily up and down his cock, coating it with saliva, teardrops and precum. They swell so beautifully around it like a plump peach being ravaged; he always flatters you for it. Calls you beautiful when you suck him off so fervently, eliciting choked moans from you as you drink up the praise.
You dive in and the head tips at the back of your throat, causing you to gag around it. The muscles of your neck clench and he curses under his breath. Your eyes water in joy and overexertion when he looks down at you at the sudden change in pace. You don’t care if it hurts, let him bruise your throat.
You can give him more. You can give him everything.
You push even further until you're nuzzling against the coarse hair on his pelvis. You choke around his cock, a weak and wet cough that causes drool to dribble at the corners of your mouth. You pull back then, to take a wet gasp around his length, and then push forward to flush your nose to his crotch once more.
The tips of your knees hurt; the tiled floor in the kitchen is hard and merciless against the bone. It'll leave your joints aching and rough. They'll pop when you stand up, they'll hurt tomorrow when you go to work.
Good.
The knot in your stomach is ever so tight, seeking to be released and let go. It contorts in wantonness and, you’ll realize later, mortification. Just because you’re used to giving yourself so freely in exchange for crumbs, it doesn't mean it gets easier every time—to watch yourself bend on a whim, to see your pride shatter into even tinier pieces.
You feel his hand thread through your hair and tears fall down your cheek because yes, now he’s going to fuck your face like you want him to.
Use me. Treat me for what I am. Become the fucking puppet master. Take my fucking strings now that they’ve dropped them and guide me through this fucking shit I was left in.
But instead, he pulls you back, his cock escaping your mouth with the same ease you got it in.
A ragged breath, thick and wet, leaves your lips as soon as they’re free. Your coughs turn into a hack, as you stare at the glisten of your spit coating his shaft. A string of thick saliva tethers your mouth to it. Tears roll down your cheeks as you recollect your breath, nostrils flaring in the attempt to take in the air you’ve deprived yourself of.
“What’s this.”
You swallow down the liquid pooling in your throat, salty precum and viscous saliva like tar, gluing your tongue to the roof of your mouth.
“Let me.” You croak. The thought that you might sound pathetic doesn’t even cross your mind.
His brows twitch, but he keeps his voice even. “No. What’s going on? Spill it.”
Your pleading look morphs into a glare. Bloodshot eyes, tears, and snot. Spit and cum. Clumped lashes and runny mascara.
Whore.
Your chest heaves, not from the strain, but from being caught red-handed, and you don't know how to behave.
No one ever asks why you do it, they’re simply glad you do.
You’re helping, aren’t you? It’s what you were crafted for, brick by brick, bone by bone. Made to change like a chameleon based on other’s necessities.
It’s what you are—so let me do it.
“I want to suck your cock.” You say as crudely as you can manage. “I want you to come down my throat and then I want you to bend me over the table and fuck me until you’re empty.”
He runs his tongue over his teeth, still holding your head by a handful of hair. His fingers aren’t tight, but your scalp stings nonetheless.
“Can do.” He shrugs. “Need to know why, first.”
You’re a heap of wood once again, piled up at his feet. Your limbs are jointless, just lying there, waiting to be thrown in the fire to rekindle its flame, so everyone else can be warm at your expense.
A broken puppet can still be used for other purposes until it's ash.
There's nothing in you, if not how wonderfully soft your mouth would be if only he'd let you wrap it around him again.
“Because I want to.”
He curls his nose, mustache following the stretch. “Hardly.”
“I do.”
He tugs at your hair and says your name in such a commanding manner that you can’t help but deflate. The glare in his eyes snuffs the defiant flame in yours.
"Please let me," you plead, and the way you sound is nothing short of degrading.
You don't care. You don't care if you reduce yourself to a puddle of pleas. You know you're not supposed to need anything, but you need this.
Your hands are sticky with dried spit and precum when they grab his cock again. You start pumping it fiercely, trying to make his orgasm hit earlier than what you had planned. He holds your head out of reach, meaning you can't wrap your lips around it—you'll have to make do with your hands.
Slut.
But it’s okay, you’ll be a slut, if it helps him realize that you can make him feel good with everything you have to offer. That he won’t find another as pliant and willing as you are. That if he wants to be served, you will be his thrall.
Everything you own, it’s so you can give him.
Everything you earn, it’s so you can give back.
He can mold you. He can break you and put you back together the way he likes. He can craft a new puppet out of you, you’ll hand him the strings. He’ll take you to the finish line and love you, then.
Only then.
You see his mouth curl, bile on his tongue, as he reins in his own lust. There’s something wrong about you tonight, and he’s starting to understand what it is.
And so, he leaves your hair, favoring the softness of your cheek. He thumbs the plump of your cheekbone and then rubs a line along your lower lip.
It's then that you take your chance and rush forward, planting a kiss on the tip of his cock. Tongue out to leave kitten licks at the drops of precum you are squeezing out of him with your hands, knowing he likes those tiny shocks it sends up his spine.
And just when you think he’s relented to your pleas, just when you have your lips plump and shiny, ready to wrap around the flushed head of his cock, he takes ahold of your chin and tips your head back.
“I love you,” he croaks.
Words he’s said already, but not as often as he should’ve. It’s his fault, he grievously considers, if you think you have to be on your knees to receive them.
He realizes it when you shock into a stop. When your eyes widen a tick too much.
Blind idiot he is.
"I love you," he says again, more firmly this time.
Your face screws up as if you're trying to wrap your head around this language you don't know. You haven't done much to reach that prize—if anything, you’ve done the opposite. You’ve edged him until the head of his cock has turned an angry red that must be aggravating to handle, impossible to quench without the welcoming warmth of your mouth or that of your cunt.
You blink up at him. Tears fall down your cheeks. “But you need to come.”
If you’d have shot him, he would’ve handled the ache much better than this.
"I need nothing." He supplies gently, tracing the corner of your lips with his thumb, getting rid of the mess he's inadvertently made of your mouth.
His statement hangs in the air, stale and musty and threatening, not as sweet as he thinks. It clogs your nose and tightens your chest, curdling your blood into frozen lumps. The noises around suddenly feel deafening: the bubbles popping on the surface of the boiling water, the wet sound of your skin unsticking from his cock as your hands leave it, their thud as they fall in your lap.
If you’re not needed, then what are you?
Carefully, he tucks himself back into his briefs as he kneels to your level.
He whispers your name and cups your cheek as he does. "I love you.”
You know he does, but stuck in the web woven by your family, you always thought it was a purely transactional sentiment. A fair trade.
He loves you because you kneel prettily in front of the sofa.
He loves you because you let him stuff you up and fill you to the brim with his come at the snap of his fingers.
He loves you because you're a lovely addition to his arm when you doll up for his work ceremonies or other functions.
He loves you because you cook a mean Sunday roast when he comes back from deployment.
And you love him because he's John, because what's there not to love.
With gentle blue eyes framed by bushy eyebrows, and droopy eyelids that give his often scowling look a gentler feel to it. The honey smatter of freckles on his nose, and the sharply trimmed beard on his jaw. Plump rosy lips, how soft they feel when he places them on yours, juxtaposing with the prickly ends of his mustache.
His encompassing heart and the way he's enlarged it for you to fit better, so you're all comfortable and warm in his life.
John gently presses his lips on your forehead as he speaks softly, "I love you."
Your eyes flutter closed. A heaving breath again, one that stutters as you try to inhale it. Fat tears fill the cracks in your lips and flow down your tongue.
John brushes the back of his knuckles across your cheeks. “Don’t need all this to love you.” And then he looks in your eyes, searching for any sign of skepticism, and regrettably finds a considerable amount of it. “You knowthat. Right, love?”
No, you don’t know.
But you don’t have the gall to tell him. Suddenly, it hits how pathetic you look. On your knees, begging for him to stuff your mouth with his cock so you can feel useful, so he can shower you with love once you give him a reason to keep you.
You kneel there helplessly, deflated.
Useless.
You gesture with your hands at him, feeling how limply they hang from your wrists as if you've never used them on your own in the first place.
There is very little you can do to humiliate yourself further, and yet you manage.
“But you need me.” You cry, as your face scrunches in a pain so deeply settled that John has no clue how to work around it. “I need you to need me.”
However, he tries. He tracks your tears with his thumb, stopping their fall right above your cheekbone.
"Don't need you, love." He says tenderly. "I want you.”
He shifts a little closer and cradles your face in both hands so that you cannot avoid his eyes even if you tried.
“Want you.” He breathes hoarsely, “Ain’t with you ’cause I need someone. I don’t need anyone, and I don’t want just anyone—I want you. ‘Specially when you’re not on your knees.”
Your nose is stuffy, and you can’t breathe right. Suddenly, you feel so unbelievably tired. Your face plops in his hands, and the humiliation feels ten times worse. It's hard, however, to interject with a word that would make him understand how deep this pattern runs.
He doesn’t let you, but only because he knows already.
"Like you when you get all chuffed ‘bout your plants sproutin’." He drawls. "Love it when you hop into bed and shove your cold feet against my thighs ‘cause I'm much warmer. Or when you make love to me. But not when you—when you pull this."
His voice is heavy. Your heart aches because you're so tightly wrapped in deadly silk, stuck in your family's cobweb, that you've never noticed how it must pain him as well, to see you reduce yourself to this.
"Bloody hell, love." He sighs, furrowing his brows. "I love you, yeah? I don't need—whatever this is. I don't want whatever this is.”
John's eyes close, his face screwing up in that way that tells you he's thinking. He shakes his head subtly, and you're afraid you've gone and done it now. He's going to go because he already has so much shit to deal with that your puzzled self would only be another broken case to add to his file.
But alas, dread doesn't even manage to settle on your heavy heart that he locks you in place with his blues.
One of his hands drifts to the back of your head. He leans in, enough for you to smell the tobacco on his breath.
You swallow dryly, lips parted in shaky pants. Eyes lidded and tired, nose scrunching in sniffles.
John presses a gentle kiss on your lips, no more than a peck. And then another one, and another, and another, until you can’t discern whether it’s the salt of your tears or that of his skin.
Your breathing becomes heavier and it mingles with his own when he comes to rest his forehead on yours.
"I love you," he murmurs tirelessly.
The hand on your nape guides you to him, and he kisses you again. Unlike the previous ones, this is bolder, yet tender all the same. He holds you in place while the rest of the world falls into impeccable silence.
The gentle smacking of lips is all you can hear, and even if only for a moment, it manages to silence the voice in your head—a mimicry of your family’s cries, their lying coos, their grating, consuming, plastic love.
You feel yourself uncoil under John’s touch and the deft work of his tongue on yours. Hands in your lap, you abandon yourself to him, but it's a different type of surrender; your eyes close and all your feelings, all your energy, flow into that kiss.
“I-I love you,” you venture, breathy voice brushing his lips.
John inhales sharply, and he realizes this might be the first time you said it because you wanted to and not because you had to.
His hand drifts from your cheek to your shoulder, down to your stomach and he guides you to lie with your back against the kitchen floor. His palms flatten next to your head.
Normally, John would have you on a fort of pillows and blankets and would never compromise about it—constantly making sure you’re as comfortable as they come as he ravages you. Beforehand, you'd get ready in the bathroom, having prepped yourself to a T. Shaved and moisturized and seasoned like a prized pig for him to consume, wearing the prettiest, skimpiest lace to frame the petals of your perfectly waxed pussy.
Because it’s a fair trade; he treats you like a princess, so you can be his pretty whore.
Yet tonight you think he won’t do any of that. There is a gentleness in his kisses that, while not uncommon, certainly feels unique. Your hands hover between your chest and his, unsure of where to place them. You hope he’ll guide you through this too, manhandle you into position like he always does.
But again, he doesn’t.
He barely feels like John at all. His behavior is so different that if you closed your eyes, anyone could be in his place right now. But that is only your perception, isn't it? Because John has always been tender with you, you were just too busy thinking about how to repay his kindness instead of living in the moment.
His lips leave yours only to busy themselves with the skin on your cheek, then down your chin and to your neck. You gasp at the goosebumps, and he stops.
His face comes into view and it is so flushed you think he must be collecting all his blood right in the apples of his cheeks.
“Okay, love?”
You blink. Your mouth tastes more like his cigars than tears and precum. It makes you feel less dirty, even if what you did (and have been doing your whole life) hasn’t changed.
You swallow thickly as he gazes into your eyes.
“Y-yeah, just—” A crease forms between your brows, “I should—I left you like that, and—”
He hushes you.
"No need to bother 'bout me." He reassures you.
He presses a kiss between your brows, smoothing the lines your concern has formed. You close your eyes, focusing on how warm he is in contrast to the tiles pressing against your back.
“Tell me what you want.” He breathes. As if you have an answer for that.
His kisses trail down your face and your neck, turning more open and wet. The rising gooseflesh, however, does nothing to stop your mind from running miles ahead.
What do you want?
You must've been posed that question before because it's such a basic one. You try to think of contests in which one might ask that, such as your birthdays, or celebrations, or a teacher wondering what is it that you desire in the future: a career, a husband or a wife, a family.
But to desire is to choose, and you don’t think you’ve ever been given that possibility.
Hence why you're rattled, aghast. On your back on the floor, with John sucking love bites on your neck.
You give the answer you know will make him content.
“Fuck me.”
You’ll moan like a porn star. You’ll dig your pretty nails into his back so he can show off the marks you left on him with pride. You'll pretend an orgasm if yours is taking too long, so that his ego will be kept fed and full, and he’ll still find you appealing. So that he can go tell his friends and comrades how good you are, in and out of bed. What a gem. Wife material.
He’ll doll you up and tie the strings around your wrists. Make you dance and you will—coy smile, pretty eyes and all. A new puppet out of you, just for his sake.
John stills, and he shifts uncomfortably above you. His mouth is suddenly next to your ear, and he leaves a kiss at your jaw hinge.
“You don’t want me to fuck you.” He murmurs, and you swear there is a hint of guilt in the way he says it.
You feel dizzy at the thought of being caught. It’s scary to have your thoughts so out in the open after having spent an entire lifetime locking them up.
John nips at the shell of your ear. You venture with your hands and place them on his chest, still unsure of whether you want him closer or far, far away.
"Can I make you feel good?" He asks hoarsely. Your body responds naturally and it makes heat pool in your lower stomach.
You suck in a breath, eyes fluttering closed at the idea his words have instilled in you.
You reply the only way you know. “You don’t have to ask.”
“Yes.” He says forcefully, almost as if he wanted the answer to stick to your brain for the days to come. The switch is so abrupt your heart skips a beat. “Yes, I have to ask. Of course, I have to ask.”
He props himself up, hips snug between your thighs. He could roll them against yours and seek the friction his chubbed up cock must physically need after you teased it.
But he doesn’t, and it makes you feel both inadequate and nervous.
“So, answer me, love.” He rumbles, as his pupils dance between your eyes. “Can I make you feel good?”
You’re not sure why, but it makes your eyes water and your heart hurt. Your brows draw together in a frown that rips at John’s chest.
“Y-Yes,” you stutter, voice strangled in your throat. “Yes, please.”
John leans in to kiss your eyelids as you snap them closed.
And then he kisses your cheek, your nose, and your lips. His hand trails over your sweater. A gentle tug at the hem makes tears fall down your temple and into your hair.
You give an imperceptible nod at his silent request and he thanks you by pressing his lips to your jaw. He lifts it above your breasts, sitting atop the plain, skin-colored bra you're wearing. You haven't shaved, there's regrowing hair under your armpits and you're flushed to the bone.
You're not the doll you allow him to see. You haven't prepped yourself for consumption this time, and it almost makes you squirm, as you force your biceps flush to your ribcage.
He can't see that you're not the perfect little puppet you've always shown him. If you aren't perfect, willing, and breakable, then he can find a thousand more like you—better than you.
But he presses a kiss to your sternum, ignoring sweat, squirming, and whatnot.
“Beautiful.” He murmurs, tongue out to trace the line of the bone. “Pretty fucking girl.”
You sob. It doesn't deter him, as he lines the plain fabric of your cup until his fingers meet the clasp conveniently placed to the front. With a quick snap, he undoes it, and your tits spill out to the sides.
He hooks your attention back with a look, and you understand he’s asking, once again.
He’s seen you naked a thousand times but you realize he’s never seen you this raw. Your cheeks are flushed and his eyes have never looked so gentle yet hungry.
You nod again and he dives in, wasting no time.
His hands grab the fat of your tits. Push them together. Thumbs teasing nipples as they pebble under his pads. Lips kissing anywhere they can land, latching on flesh until it darkens. His teeth graze the peaks of your breasts, and your back arches off the floor.
Each grunt that escapes him has your spine vibrate. You can't fathom the thought that he likes this, not when you’re tasting like a long day at work and wet rain, instead of buttercream and mango.
You try to snake your leg between his own, to give back what he’s giving you. Carefully, you stroke the curve of your foot against his hard length, but he pulls back with his hips and gently guides your thigh to rest once more around his waist.
“Don’t need tha’, sunshine.” He grunts, a murmur lost as his lips mouth at your nipples. "This 's more 'n 'nough."
His hands hold you by the waist now, fingers gripping the flesh with tenacity. His beard scrapes at the soft skin of your tits as he travels downward with his mouth, following the path lined by your sternum to the gap between your ribs.
He licks stripes as if your skin were covered with cream. His teeth sink softly where your flesh is plumper, causing you to writhe against him, and he chuckles under his breath as he remembers you’re ticklish.
Such tiny things he knows about you, you almost forgot it’s been years he’s known you.
His bites turn kisses, and they're chastely pressed on the line of your stomach, over your belly button, and to the seam of your jeans.
John looks up at you when his lips reach the zipper, and by doing so you notice his brows arching up, causing lines to wrinkle his forehead. Pretty blue eyes take you in and the mess that you've made of yourself. Runny makeup, bitten lips.
You know he can see how undecided you still are. Brows pinched in both pleasure and discomfort because this is so new to you.
But you nod a little sharply for him to go on, as your mouth curls down in the hopefully non-futile attempt at muffling your sobs.
John unbuttons your pants and shimmies them down your hips to your ankles in such an agonizingly slow manner you can’t help but think he’s doing it to give you time to rebut, in case you change your mind.
You don't.
He takes them off together with your socks and brings your foot next to his face. Places a kiss on the side of it, sending tingles up your legs that tip to the apex of your thighs. He leaves small pecks down your ankle and your calf, closing his eyes and sometimes brushing his beard against your skin.
You look away, cheek flat to the tiles, now wet with your tears and the rain soaking your hair.
It doesn't deter John in the slightest, not even when he slowly comes down to a crawl, chest to the floor and nose on your mound. He tugs with his teeth at the cotton of your panties, nothing more than plain white cheeky underwear. So different from the way you always present yourself to him, with your expensive lace and your silks and your soft skin—painfully waxed so it could mimic the feel of your babydolls.
Gingerly, you reach down with your hand and thread your fingers through his hair, smoothing them back from his forehead. You cup the side of his face and brush your thumb to his flushed cheekbone. He leans into your palm and kisses it, uncaring of the stickiness left by your previous activity.
You feel something inside of you crash and break, then, like a glass vase falling from a height. You’re not sure whether it’s a good thing or not, because it makes more tears collect at the corners of your eyes and those are never predictors of a good ending.
He digs the tip of his nose against your slit, following the wet stripe that inevitably formed the moment you dropped to your knees for him.
“Can I?” He asks, sending little spikes of electricity up to your chest when his lips brush against the sensitive skin covered by flimsy cotton.
You feel your chest get so tight someone might as well be curling rope around it.
You feel so pathetic for crying just because you’re being asked about what makes you comfortable and what doesn’t. You’re such an advocate for your friends to go out there and demand for their needs to be met, that you can’t help but wallow in your hypocrisy when someone asks for yours.
He waits patiently for your consent, even if he's a breath away from your private parts, with his hands caressing the back of your thighs. Even if he's done this to you a thousand times already, with your squirming body giving him a show worthy of the cameras, had they been there.
He makes everything around you look so soft, even the tiles of the floor that are uncomfortably sticking to your skin feel like plush cushions.
You wonder briefly if this is how it should’ve always felt, had you allowed yourself to recognize your needs instead of seeing your body as a means to make others happy.
It comes out of your lips as a breath that’s followed by a wet sniffle, your head nodding softly, contrastingly to how tight you’re biting your own teeth.
“Yes.”
No amount of pressure on your jaw could stop the sob that escapes you afterward.
John closes his eyes and a warm shuddering sigh brushes your skin. You’re starting to realize that maybe you’re not the only one who’s being affected by this sudden change in your and his intimacy.
His fingers hook at your panties and he slides them to your ankles, letting them hang down one foot. You swing it carefully and kick them off as he returns his attention to the apex of your thighs, hooking your knees on his shoulders.
He starts tenderly, pressing kisses on the soft flesh of your vulva, paying attention even to the smallest bits you weren’t even aware could feel good. He latches on your outer lips, feeling how puffy they get at the slight suction.
Your thighs are corded and stiff under his grip, arms hooked around each plush leg, and palms flat on your skin.
John’s eyes are closed, although you wish he’d look at you as he travels with his lips along your slit. A kiss on your hole without probing too much, then one along the middle of your slit, which was getting impressively wetter as time passed, and the one on your hooded clit.
It sent jolts up your spine, causing your hips to buck against his mouth. His fingers tighten around your thighs in response, as if he’s trying to rein it in for you.
You appreciate it more than he thinks. You don’t think you’ve ever been placed on top of the queue so blatantly in your entire life.
The tip of his tongue darts out, but it’s obscured from your eyes by the regrowing hair on your mound and from his thick mustache. So, it takes you by surprise when he all but licks a thin stripe over the protruding part of your clit.
You hiss, and your head goes dizzy. You feel tiny pinpricks tingling in your brain, making you lightheaded and more than a little breathless.
During the whole relationship, you’ve been so focused on appearing like a full meal to his eyes, that you forgot how good it felt to be that meal on his tongue.
He laps at you again, eyes now wide open to gauge more of whatever you were giving him. You feel them as bright spotlights aimed at your face, but you can’t find it in yourself to display the act you’ve always given him.
You're already too different from the woman he's so used to seeing. You wonder if he likes you anyway; or if he likes you less, or more. When your eyes lock with his own, a dark flash tells you to go back to your ways. To flutter your lashes and pout your lips in small pleas, whimpering moans that always make his eyes roll to the back of his head.
And just as you’re about to give in to those old habits, John flattens his tongue against your cunt and licks all the thoughts out of your head. You tilt it back in a groan that has never, not once, left your lips in his presence.
He seems more than excited to hear it and starts eating you out like you’re his first meal in a century. This time, there is no plasticity in the ways you move. You’re not squirming away and acting coy about it, meeting his eyes to make sure he realizes that you're his pretty doll.
This time there’s you and the pleasure he gives you. There’s a hand in his hair that shyly tries to keep him still, as he puckers his lips around your nub and sucks it in his mouth. There’s the subtle canting of your hips to press your cunt closer to him, and the way he makes sure you don’t pull away from his tongue with his thick arms coiled around your thighs.
It’s so strange to allow yourself to feel so much. All this time you’ve been oblivious to all this as it happened in your same body because you were too busy focusing on how you appeared to his eyes. Even as he tongued your hole, your head told you it still had to be about pleasing him—because nothing in this world could ever be exclusively about you.
It hits you sharply that your beliefs about yourself, instilled by the callous teachings of your family, had bled through every aspect of your life. You already knew that, of course, but you never realized they had seeped into your intimacy as well.
Yet now you have proof of it, because you're sure John has not changed his tactics, it's you who's finally allowing your body to feel all this.
He twirls his tongue around your clit and you’re seeing stars. It’s such a strong sensation that you think you might have lost a marble or two in the process. Each grunt he emits from his lips vibrates through you and elicits similar sounds from your own mouth.
You’re not even looking at him, and you don’t care. It’s too good. He feels fucking heavenly and you’ll probably end up apologizing later for not having included him more, for not having paid enough attention to him as you should’ve.
But now—fucking hell, now—there's only how his tongue toys with each and every nerve ending of your sodden cunt.
You let him manhandle you, then, like he did so many times in the past. But now he positions you in an unflattering angle you would've never allowed before. He sits up on his knees, carrying your pelvis with him, close to his face.
To help yourself up, you place your hands on your haunches, propping your elbows on the floor. The tiles press harshly against the bone, much like they did on your knees when you’d knocked them down to suck him off not even twenty minutes prior, but now that pain feels so fickle compared to the pleasure he’s giving you.
He locks his arms around your lower belly, soft thighs pressed to his ears, and he dives in again.
Like this, you’re sure he can see every stupid, unflattering thing about you. But there’s the catch—it’s stupid. You’re sure you’re going to rethink all this eventually, but now everything that isn’t John and his lips on you is so unbelievably, fucking stupid.
“Taste like honey, y’ do.” You think you hear him say, as he nuzzles your cunt for all it’s worth.
He delves his tongue into your hole, plunging as deep as he can until he’s nosing your clit too. Facial hair scrapes the inside of your thigh raw, but that only enhances the opposite bliss happening thanks to his mouth.
You whimper, but not for show; it feels criminally good, and John knows it's real because your thighs shake so fiercely his vision goes wobbly too.
He chuckles, but it’s not derisive. His eyes are incensed, the light blue barely a rim around enlarged pupils. He looks in utter awe as he takes you in; face flushed, hair still wet from the rain and now from the sweat too. With an expression he's never once seen before, not on you. The sheer discomfort of the position but also the complete bliss that makes you forget you could have this on a more comfortable bed.
“Look at you—fucking beautiful." He murmurs with his lips to your cunt. "Criminal to hide this from me, love."
Your lips part into an oval, and your eyelids tremble, fighting the need to close your eyes and just feel. But he looks so unbelievably stunning you refuse, categorically, to take your eyes off of him.
And he apparently thinks the same, because his gaze never falters, not even when you tighten the grip your thighs have around his head. Nor does his tongue, as he plunges it again in your cunt, nose nudging your clit just right.
He might be fucking you with his mouth, but he sure is doing it with his eyes too.
And you’ve never felt so seen in your entire life. You’ve never felt so beautiful, so worthy, as right now. You wonder if he’s always been looking at you this way, but you were too lost in your own ways to notice.
You feel tears trickle down your temples again, mingling with your hair.
Jaw clenched tight, you breathe it out with all the strength you’ve got left in you.
“I love you.”
And John breaks into something different. You must have given him some final blow because his eyes shut closed and his brows knit together. An expression you've never seen, equally as pained as delighted.
He doesn’t answer, using his tongue for other purposes, keeping the stimulation both inside and out of you. Strong arms hold you still to his face, squeezing painfully tight around your hips. Thick palms flat against your lower belly, with his thumb tugging at your mons to unhood your puffy clit.
He goes on until you can’t hold yourself up anymore, arms giving out from under you. But he catches you anyway, hooking your legs better above his shoulders. The fact that your thighs are pressing against his ears gives you some sort of relief, knowing his hearing might have been muffled by your flesh.
So, you let go.
You moan loudly, fuck the neighbors, and whatever the world has to say. Fuck your head for sabotaging you, and taking you away from him.
You feel it build up slowly but suddenly; one moment it’s just fully encompassing pleasure, the next there’s a vine that stems from your ravaged cunt and curls around your belly, up to your neck.
Your throat blocks off, breathing shallow and sharp.
And then everything snaps.
John fights against the bucking of your hips just so he can keep his mouth on you and fuck you through it.
Your groan is so guttural you don't even think that was your voice. You don't even think, period. Your mind blacks out. A scorching heat develops from your sternum and coils around your chest like ivy in bloom.
You’ve had orgasms before thanks to his mouth, or his fingers, or his cock.
This, however, it’s so different you might consider yourself reborn.
It’s liberating. It’s new. It’s free and only, completely yours.
You don't even notice, as his tongue slows down, that your eyes are staring at nothing on the ceiling. That they fill with tears. And that you're crying.
You notice nothing, but just how good your body trembles, from the tips of your toes to the conscience in your head.
You don’t notice the sobs that leave your lips, as John gingerly places your body back down. Nor the way your chest heaves as if you’ve just learned how to use your lungs, while he hooks his arms behind your shoulders, and lifts you up to sit butt naked on the floor.
He holds you to his chest and you painfully sob against it. Not a thought about whether this is the right time to cry crosses your mind.
He cradles your cheek to his heart, while wet lips press against the crown of your head.
“Let go,” he murmurs, voice hoarse. “’M here, love. Let go.”
You cry so hard you think you might crack like porcelain on that floor. Your heaving sobs echo against the walls of the kitchen like the cries of a newborn child.
And John has no intention of letting you go through it alone. He is there with his hands, with his lips, with the strong, steady heartbeat against your ear until your wailing abates. Only then does he cup your cheek to lift your face.
You weep under your breath when you notice the bloodshot whites of his eyes and the clumped lashes. The dampness on his cheeks and the redness of the skin.
He smooths your hair back. Kisses your forehead with such intensity that he just might suck away the self-hatred your family has seeded in your brain with his lips.
He looks at you, then. Lips pursed in a tight line.
“You’ve never looked more beautiful than you do now, love.”
It’s inevitable the way your lips stretch in a smile that quivers and shakes in a breathless, wet chuckle.
You dig the heels of your hands in your eyes, sniffling painfully hard to get some air in your lungs. Your mouth is pasty and God, you must smell like proper shite.
But John leans down anyway and kisses your lips, uncaring of the salt of your tears, the snot, and the taste of you still lingering on his tongue.
And you kiss him back, this time threading your fingers through his hair, arms looped around his neck in an embrace you never want to break.
Noses flush against each other’s cheeks, lips parting only for you to take breaths because your nostrils are currently too stuffy for you to use them properly.
You sniffle and kiss and tug at his hair and hold him until you're both sated, but never enough. It won’t ever be enough.
A few beats of silence reign the kitchen as you sit on the floor, tangled in each other’s arms. The water in the pot must’ve boiled away, forgotten on the fire that still buzzes silently. John’s chest is your tiny alcove as you rest your head against it, and he holds you until your heart’s content.
Everything you’ve ever learned shakes before your eyes. Every thread that knitted the pattern carefully woven around you is slowly unraveling. The fabric wears down the more he shows you love without asking for anything in return.
He's making you regrow your limbs, returning the eyes they stole, allowing you to see that at the finish line, there's nothing but lies.
Nothing but missed calls, skipped appointments, and neglect. Honeyed words, saccharine pet names to render you soft as dough, willing to offer yourself to their exploitation. Sucking on every last drop of your sap, until only a hollow marionette is left.
John hasn't refilled you with energy; he made you realize you were never empty to begin with. Helped you see that they never smothered your fire to ashes, but only dimmed it to a flame, one you can rekindle easily.
One he cannot wait, for the life of him, to see ablaze again.
He’ll fight with you, give you the wood you need to keep yourself warm and your heart safe. Cut your strings once and for all, until you can get back on your feet again.
He thrives at the idea of seeing you glow like you did moments before, in your most raw and real form; a woman he's yet to meet.
However, being human, he does feel a temporary disappointment at the thought that you had put up such a blatant front for so long. Anger that he’d never noticed, thinking you were just this pliant little thing.
But he should've never thought of you as a thing. Never should've seen you as this obliging, pretty doll hanging from his lips. He should've dug deeper, like he always does even on the field, instead of falling for lies.
He’s often asked himself how you’ve never seemed to need anything, often pegging the behavior to self-sufficiency. You always took care of everything by yourself and promptly refused any aid when he tried to give it to you.
His mind reels with memories of the times he’s offered a helping hand, and you’ve politely declined it. It shatters him to think that you did it because you were afraid you had to give something back and maybe were too tired to offer anything.
It’s then that his mind deep dives into a place that sickens him.
How many times did you have sex with him and see it as a bargaining chip? Or as a way to repay him for something he’s done for you just because he loves you?
He shuts his eyes briefly, forcing the bile down his throat and deciding to dwell on the subject later. This moment comes first. You come first. So, he takes you in, blinking his eyes open once more.
He blindly reaches back to turn off the stove, before returning his arms around you. He brushes his lips to your temple, and your muscles soften under the way his breath tickles your skin.
You tilt your head back to lock your eyes with his own, gauging the earnestness swimming in his blues.
“I love you,” he breathes for the umpteenth time, that day.
No ventriloquist forces you to say it back. No strings move your arms to loop around his neck, as you lift yourself on your knees to be level with his eyes.
It's you, who rests your forehead on his own, brushing your nose to his in a butterfly kiss.
You feel like flesh and bone, more than polished wood tied to nylon strings. No voice box if not your vocal cords vibrating when you decide it, asking and giving all the same.
“I love you,” you whisper back.
There is no hunger for love, no finish line to reach. It’s not a race, not today.
And with John, you don’t think it’ll ever be again.
#john price#captain john price#captain price#task force 141#price cod#cod#john price x reader#john price x you#captain john price x reader#call of duty#cod mw2#cod smut#call of duty x reader#cod x reader#cod x you#cod fanfic#call of duty smut#ao3#ao3 writer#archive of our own
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sweet by majid jordan with lando, maybe lando didn't think he would ever fall in love again until he met reader
sweet. ln4. smau.
lando norris x model!reader
lando began to think that love was never going to find him again but after meeting reader he realised that good things come to those who wait
faceclaim: isabelle mathers
ln4fan
liked by user1, user2, user3 and 34,273 others
ln4fan: it has been almost two years since lando and lusia broke up and since then he has not been seen with anyone in a romantic way. i feel so bad for my boy he deserves love.
view all 1,273 comments
user1: i miss boyfriend era lando so much
user2: recently in an interview he said "it is really difficult to juggle a love life and this job, at the moment the job is my priority so i am not expecting to find love at the moment
user3: i just want my boy to be happy
y/ninsta posted a story
written: time to attend my first gp, a right of passage, can't believe i have never been to one in three years of living in monaco
f1celebs
liked by user4, user5, user6 and 43,843 others
f1celebs: model, monaco native and longterm friend of alexandra saint mleux y/n y/ln has arrived to the monaco grand prix. she will be spending the race in the ferrari garage
view all 348 comments
user4: i don't know who she is but she is gorgeous
user5: i just found her instagram she is stunning
user6: alex has the prettiest friends
y/ninsta posted a story
written: well done cha!
y/ninsta posted a story tagging alexandrasaintmleux
written: time to celebrate bestie's boyfriend
f1updates posted a story
written: lando norris spotted arriving at a restaurant in monaco to celebrate the gp. also in attendance charles and alex. daniel ricciardo and heidi, max and kelly, pierre and kika, along with alexandra's friend y/n y/ln
y/ninsta posted a story
written: nights like these
y/ninsta posted two stories
landonorris posted a story
written: sometimes you just need to get on a boat
ln4updates
liked by user7, user8, user9 and 48,274 others
ln4updates: lando is spending summer break in monaco and he was spotted outside of a bar in monaco with an unknown woman. could lando be back in his boyfriend era?
view all 1,328 comments
user7: he usually goes away for summer break, i wonder why he is staying in monaco
user8: now this could be a long shot but hasn't he met y/n y/ln, she lives in monaco. that could be a good enough reason to stay.
user9: he looks really happy, that's what matters
landonorris
liked by mclaren, y/ninsta, charlesleclerc and 1,329,233 others
landonorris: summer break done, time to get back to work
view all 13,282 comments
mclaren: will we be meeting mystery girl sometime soon
landonorris: fingers crossed for zandvoort
user10: omg he is out of his single era
user11: i am still convinced it is y/n, she liked the post
user12: looks like someone had an eventful summer break
y/ninsta posted a story tagging alexandrasaintmleux
written: self care on the plane is essential
alexandrasaintmleux posted a story tagging y/ninsta and flavy.barla
written: netherlands with my girls
mclaren posted a story tagging y/ninsta
written: new driver for next season?
y/ninsta
liked by landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux, flavy.barla and 987,654 others
tagged: landonorris
y/ninsta: i am the proudest girlfriend in the entire world, well done lando!
view all 12,322 comments
landonorris: i love you so much
y/ninsta: love you more
flavy.barla: the perfect couple
y/ninsta: love you flavy
alexandrasaintmleux: lando should watch his back it is my master plan to steal you from him
landonorris: charlesleclerc what should we do about this
charlesleclerc: i fear there is nothing we can do
y/ninsta: you are correct cha
∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘
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@charllleclerc
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@lyannesworld
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#f1 x reader#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#f1 fandom#formula 1 smau#formula one smau#formula 1#ln4 smau#ln4#lando norris x reader#lando norris#lando norris x you#lando norris smau#lando x you#lando x reader#lando x y/n#formula one#formula 1 social media au#f1 social media au#formula one social media au#lando norris social media au#ln4 social media au
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I've mentioned this thing in tags before but I've decided fuck it, it should be its own post.
I've seen this sentiment lumped into Eat the Rich posts which goes like "if you're worth more than $1 million I think you should die" and I think tumblr users need to know this is not the Eat the Rich statement they think it is.
Someone being worth $1 million doesn't mean what you think it means.
A 71-year-old widow who bought a single-family 2,000 sqft home in Somerville Massachusetts with her husband 40 years ago to raise their family in, who now lives in this home all alone because her children are grown and her husband is dead, is--without a shadow of a doubt--worth more than $1 million. Maybe even $1.5 or $2 million. And it's because of her home equity, because that's what single family homes go for these days in that area.
The 71-year-old widow may be living pension check to pension check, because her millionaire status can only be dipped into if she's removed from her home and sells it. And if it's the home she's loved for 40 years, where she simply wants to live out the rest of her time peacefully in, I wouldn't put her to the guillotine for that.
Maybe that comes off as an extreme example, like that's just an outlier of the "we hate millionaires" agenda. But I don't think it truly is. I'll scale back and tell you the median U.S. home price right now is about $430,000. And that's just median. Half of them are more expensive than that.
The statement "I think people should be able to afford to buy and own the homes they live in" is, I would desperately hope, not a radical statement to anyone on Tumblr. I think that's a pretty well-received idea. So someone who's done that, who's bought their home and worked many years to pay off the mortgage and now owns it fully, is worth close to half a million dollars on average. Many of them more than that, as many areas rapidly gentrify and drive up housing worth.
Statement 2: "I think people deserve to have a retirement fund which would comfortably support them through end of life." Too radical for anyone? I hope not. And I won't pretend to be an expert on how much retirement money is ideal. I'm sure it varies with cost of living in places. But considering this is money which, ideally, should support someone for the remaining 10-20 years of life (money which may be necessary to cover the absolutely crippling medical costs of end-of-life treatment) I'd bet it's well into the many hundreds of thousands. Even if someone was simply living off $30k/year of take home money and just making that work, then 15 years of retirement, costing $30k/year, plus maybe $50k+ of end-of-life medical costs... That's at least $500k.
Which is all to say, if you show me someone approaching retirement age who's "worth" $1 million dollars, my hope would be that their house is paid off and their retirement fund is comfortable. I'd be happy for them. I would want this for them.
Even that may not be true, though. Someone "worth" $1 million maybe owns a paid-off house which has rapidly appreciated to being worth $900k, and their $100k in retirement is something they're trying to stretch through end of life. Maybe someone worth $1 million owns a house which has ballooned to $1.1 million, and they're in fact $100k in debt.
And the fact that SO many Americans will never even meet this bar is significantly more appalling to me than the existence of people worth more than $1 million. "I own my home and can retire comfortably" is a bar we want every American to meet. I want more millionaires who are millionaires because they meet these criteria.
If Nana Somerville's house burns down tomorrow, she'll have lost everything. If a billionaire were to similarly lose $1 million of worth, he would not feel it. That's a fickle day at the stock market. That's Tuesday. That's the rich which desperately needs to be eaten.
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𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒈𝒐, in which charles isn’t the best boyfriend.. ౨ৎ charles x famous!reader
warnings- toxic charles, cheating, reader is love-dumb… !
y/n 💋
charles what the fuck
tell me it isn’t true??
who is she
cha 🤍
baby it isn’t true
i swear, i love you
she came onto me
y/n 💋
are you sure
cha 🤍
yes, my love
i promise you
y/n 💋
come over?
cha 🤍
i’ll be there in ten
Liked by charles_leclerc, alexademie, maxverstappen1, and 1,092,299 others
yourusername 🤍.
tagged charles_leclerc
View all 6,209 comments
user oh this man has no shame at all 💀
user yn…. 🌝
user girl pls run as fast as u can
user no queen you’re too good for him 😭😭😭😭
user yncharles nation how do we feel
→ user uhm TERRIBLE
→ user poor girl ☹️
→ user nah she definitely knows.
charles_leclerc mon coeur 🩶.
→ user …..
→ user he gave me the eww…
alexademie gorgeous 🤍
→ alexademie he’s there too ig…
→ yourusername 🫶🏻 ily
landonorris 🤨🤨
→ user even lando confused 😭
→ user bro keep charles in line
→ alex_albon me too lando…
lilymhe my girl 🤍🤍
→ yourusername 👩🏻❤️💋👩🏻👩🏻❤️💋👩🏻
maxverstappen1 pretty :)
→ yourusername thank you
→ user SHOOT YO SHOT MAX!!
→ user mr steal your girl 🙏🏼 save her
lilyrose_depp 😍😍
landito
yn are you okay
y/n
uh, yeah? why
alexander albon.
be so fr
charles???
y/n
oh
it was nothing, she came onto him
he loves me guys
landito
whatever you say, yn..
alexander albon.
stay safe queen!
Liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, lilymhe, alexademie and 1,249,298 others
yourusername paris
tagged charles_leclerc
View all 6,292 comments
user this is so sad seeing how much she loves him
→ user fr and he’s out there cheating ????
user babe he hasn’t posted u in months why are you still posting him!!! 😭😭
user u are better than this queen 😪
user OPEN UR EYES BITCH
user she’s so strong
→ user not strong enough to leave him :///
landonorris sooo cute 😃
→ user i can hear the sarcasm
→ user LMFAOO
alex_albon yeah stay away from paris…
→ user SPEAK UR TRUTH KING
charles_leclerc ❤️
y/n 💋
chaaa, do you wanna come over?
cha 🤍
I can’t
sorry, chérie.
i’m out with friends
y/n 💋
nono it’s fine
have fun!
i love you ❤️
Read 20:22
Liked by alex_albon, lilymhe, charles_leclerc, landonorris and 1,293,293 others
yourusername time away!! with my favorites 🫶🏻
tagged lilymhe, alex_albon
View all 4,199 comments
user break up with your bf now xx
user too pretty for him
user 🙏🏼 a weekend without ch*rles
landonorris glad to see it!
→ yourusername 😃
lilymhe IT WAS SO FUN HANGING WITH U ❤️
→ yourusername 🤍🤍 love you sm
alex_albon i look gross in that pic
→ georgerussell63 nothing new mate
charles_leclerc so pretty mon amore
→ user the audacity this man has
→ user 🤺🤺🤺
Liked by lilymhe, alex_albon, landonorris, and 29 others
yourprivate when he’s making out with yet another girl 😂! idk what happened because i tried giving him my all 😂😂
View all 8 comments
lilymhe leave him please
→ yourprivate 😂😂 I can’t
lilymhe i don’t want u to be even more sad ☹️
alex_albon FUCK MEN!!!!
landonorris yn u are better than this
→ yourprivate am i though…
georgerussell63 he don’t know what to do with allat!!
→ lilymhe fr!! yn is too good for his ass
y/n 💋
what’s her name.
cha 🤍
what?
y/n 💋
her name
the girl you were kissing, charles
cha 🤍
baby
i was drunk
y/n 💋
don’t ‘baby’ me
and you WERENT drunk charles
what did i do wrong?
cha 🤍
nothing i swear
y/n 💋
I must’ve done something wrong
if you cheated on me TWICE
you probably cheated more than that.
cha 🤍
fine then, i just got bored of you
is that what you wanted to hear?
that i just stopped loving you?
because that’s what happened.
y/n 💋
fuck you charles
i knew I shouldn’t have dated you
I should’ve listened to everyone who told me to leave you.
cha 🤍
you should’ve 🤷
but you didn’t
You have blocked this contact
yourusername • 1 hour ago
maxverstappen1 replied to your story
maxverstappen1
hey, sorry about the break up
charles never deserved you though.
Seen just now
౨ৎ some crazy shit forreal 😭😭🙏🏼🙏🏼 now me personally i could never take charles back (why am i lying)… okay anyways i hope you enjoyed this 🐨🐌🤍
requested by my wife @landovilla ily 👩❤️💋👩👩❤️💋👩👩❤️💋👩 ౨ৎ
#𓇼 landitolover#꩜ my writings#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc#formula one#f1 fanfic#f1#f1 x reader#female reader#smau#angst#toxic#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#f1 x y/n
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