#never going to get an english certificate this way LMAO

[forgettable-au]

Okay I fixed it! Thanks for letting me know early on! It would have been such a long process to fix if I never realized

sorry if this is a nitpick but,,,

you misspelled

[BEGINNING]

on every page,,

OH MY GOD

YOU'RE RIGHT

NOOOOOO

AKSUWKSJ THANK YOUUU GONNA FIX THAT TOMORROW

[lucysarah-c]

Oh darling don't worry about rambling. I think readers enjoy knowing more about a writer.

The whole procedure sounds exhausting. Wishing you the best of luck in that. And I hope everything goes smoothly for you.

However, I am curious as to why you decided to do a PhD. degree? I am assuming you really like research, I am curious to know why people apply for it. I have been taught that isn't really necessary to pursue, I am not trying to dissuade you, I just want to know your point of view, and I find that interesting.

I haven't had the chance to visit Germany. It is a great country to settle in, If that what you are planning for. I heard a nightmare about their paperwork. God be with you. Will you be taking classes in german or will it be in English? Do you need an English test certification for it?

Also, it is so lovely of you to think of your mom. She is lucky to have a daughter like you.

I hope that you mind me sending you an abnormal amount of questions 😄

when you answer, your Tumblr asks or writes your posts. Do you do it from a pc or from your phone? I found out that I can't send long paragraphs from my pc unless I do it on my phone. I was wondering if it is the same case for you.

I’m not sure what my readers enjoy to be honest hahaha But if you're my reader and want to know more about my personal life haha I don't mind it.

Thank you! I hope everything turns out smoothly too.

About the PhD, I think it really depends not only on the field you're in but also your prospects. For example, I studied Biotechnology and molecular biology, but in my last years of the degree I dedicated myself to nanobiotechnology for oncological treatments. When I joined the nanotechnology team, nano was something that nobody really cared about and therefore it was a really small side of biotechnology compared to other well known parts of it. Once the pandemic hit, the health science field began to have a boom and Nanotechnology was a field that was only being explored for arms industry and cosmetics. Now nanotechnology is being explored in the health industry a lot and, since I'm kinda part of the "teams who were pioneers on it" I've the chances to work and study a field that doesn't have that much "competition" yet but also its "highly demanded". Plus, someone has to do them, you know haha Someone has to investigate the improvements of new treatments. The PhD is the only option for me if I want to keep going with my studies. Like, yeah I could work in the industry without a master or phd and make way more money than the scholarship I'll get. Sorry, long story short, I want to investigate the probabilities of curing Cancer with nanotechnology. This is way too new so they need people to research about it for it to one day be a treatment available for people.

I have also heard that Germans aren't good with paperwork lmao. It seems to be a thing. I visited Germany when I traveled a few years ago. It's a really calm and lovely place. The master is in English and yes I need an English certificate that I already own. Your girl is a C2 or proficient in English like Excuse me lmao jk I don't feel like I'm proficiency at all but the IELTS exam says otherwise lol.

I'm learning German! I'm actually in the middle of my A2 to B1 classes so, careful I know how to say my name lmao. I feel it's a really "boxy" language but a friend of mine, who speaks German said "but Lucy, you speak Spanish as your first language, it's like you speak in cursive. Obviously it feels less "literature '' '' that actually boosted my self esteem lol I've never thought Spanish as a "lovely" language but I guess it is!

I don't mind the questions if you don't mind that I take a while to reply haha

Eh... I've no idea, because I've not send asks is a long while hahah I basically log in to Tumblr to post and I leave because I've like -10 time in my life at the moment. But I mostly post from my computer because the phone app doesn't let me select more than one paragraph at a time and editing is a mess.

But, for example, the tumblr computer web doesn't alert me when I've overpass the 30 tags limit and the phone does. It's weird, tumblr is a mess.

Have a lovely day!

[a-heart-like-a-sparrow]

April 17th, 2024 - Plot Twist

This entry was longer and more specific, but I regret it and edited part of this to avoid problems. Edited on May 27th, 2024.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮

Okay, I calmed down. I'm rewriting all this part because I was going crazy a few hours ago for nothing.

I don't really mind saying this because nobody actually reads this. If someone does, please send a sign.

A friend of mine who knows him had talked to him during a break. And as soon as I went into the classroom she told me some information that... just changed everything.

It's just a thing that cannot be changed, okay? I literally cannot do anything about it.

I don't have any problem with that stuff. Of course I don't. But... what do I do now?

I spent an entire year yearning for something I'll never have. I wrote three sheets of paper with thoughts about him. I suffered with this untitled feeling for so long... for nothing lol

To be honest, I didn't expect all of this to turn out this way. I've seriously never thought about it lmao

I mean, I could still be friends with him. I could do that. He seems to be nice. Seems to.

Now I feel less scared of him. I feel a bit different.

But I don't think that feeling is gone. It just evoluted. I don't know.

This is a bit awkward now lol

All those Instagram posts and entries about him... and all that paper... What was I thinking about????

In my defense, I didn't know that information. I should've looked like an idiot.

I won't delete anything tho. I like some of the posts I made. And about that paper, I'll see what I can do with it.

This is a memorable moment in my life. No complaints.

Anyway, I could've talked about my day, but I think everything gets reduced to only that. But it was a good day. I'll go and make some History homework for tomorrow.

Rest well!

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮

PS: Basically, I handed in my Philosophy assignment (I'm definitely gonna fail it), I received my English certificate from Cambridge, I bought some photocopies. I got a new pair of sneakers! And I realized that the protagonist in the series is not in Israel, he's in Argentina among Jewish people. That was all.

It was a good day.

[sungbeam]

today’s your first day right ??? i’m probably a lil bit late but gl with your classes today !! <333 i hope everything runs smoothly and i’m sending you all the virtual hugs rn 🫂🫂🫂 but ah, physics. pls i was never a science person, so i feel you 😭 it’s ok tho, i’m sure you’ll do just fine. and humanities wow !! pls i was never much of a humanities person either 😭 so that’s admirable honestly 😭 i hope you have a lot of fun !! not just in hum but also physics !! and just all your classes in general ^_^

thank youuu !! the program, like i said, allows me to go at my own pace, so rlly it could be as short or as long as i’d like, but average is supposed to be 6 months skdjdkd and i started it back in january bc my dad encouraged me to but that was obviously when i still had about 6 months of school left djsjsjsk so i obviously prioritized my actual school over this program since i could take my time with it anyway, and it’s rlly inexpensive which is nice. but yeah my goal is to complete then certificate within the next few months to hopefully get a ux design job by like ,, february or so ?? but yeah :D

and oooh the medical field ok i see you 👀 that’s actually rlly cool and is also smth i wish i was interested in bc i love that you get to help so many ppl !! but unfortunately there’s a lot of things that gross me out bc i’m rlly sensitive to certain things 😭😭 sksjsj which is why i rarely watch medical shows sksjksk but i’m glad that’s smth you could possibly pursue !! wishing you the best, whether you decide to go into that field or find smth even better for you on the way 🙏🏻 i’m sure whatever you choose tho will be a good decision :) also gl again on your classes today !! have fun !!

THANK YOUUU (_ _;) just had my first class which was english so it was really chill, and i have a history class in the afternoon (phys tmr sjxnskndjd) so v chill first day lmao but omg EM !! i made another friend today 🥺🥺🥺 i feel like i unknowingly target the chinese-speaking girls 😭😭😭 but she looked really confused and lost and i felt that, and ig it also helps that i speak chinese skxndnfk but she told me after class that she thought i was pretty and i went (´Д⊂ヽ ME????? ME ???!?!?!? like she's so pretty too tf and i feel bad cuz my chinese sucks :') but yeah i hope she doesn't drop out cries

ooh six months !! yes def take ur time w it and that's so great that it's inexpensive like my wallet and my mom's wallet r crying from uni expenses :') sometimes i wonder if i made the right choice picking this school, but i remind myself to make the most of it 😔✨ hope u get the best job and by february as well !! manifesting great things bc i see u doing great things in the future 🙏🏼 what made u want to pursue a career in this industry? do u like coding or compsci things :0 (dunno if im even in the right BALLPARK tbh but pls do educate me TT)

tysmm yeah kind of on the fence abt medicine rn but i really do love helping people :') it's like one of the two major factors that convinced me this was a worth-it path to pursue (?) but yeah, the cards have not fully been revealed just yet and my mom's hoping i can miracle my way into graduating in three years so i can have a gap year btwn med school and undergrad (which would be nice too but we'll see haha)

[freddiefiction]

Someone (who wishes to remain anonymous) asked me for a brief summary of the psycho lady's weird ass "facts," so I thought I'd try and list some from the top of my head.

Warning: hold on to your braincells.

Mary is a poor, misunderstood victim of a smear campaign against her by Jim Hutton, Phoebe Freestone, Barbara Valentin and Lesley-Ann Jones, who all teamed up to "take her down," after Freddie died. Anything bad she's ever done is 100% justified and anyone who criticises her is just jealous. Oh yeah, and LOML was for her, despite Freddie saying it was for no one.

Winnie Kirchberger was Freddie's "true" husband, and the only reason they didn't end up together was because Winnie refused to move into Garden Lodge. According to her, during Freddie's 39th birthday party, he and Winnie got into a fight and Winnie threw his ring at him, marking the end of their relationship. Freddie then decided to "settle" with Jim - who he only kept around to keep Winnie jealous - because he didn't want to be alone. Keep in mind, Winnie is also the guy who barely spoke any English, and the couple needed a translator for their arguments; I'm wondering how that would have worked if Winnie moved to London. Would they have taken Barbara with them? 😂

Jim was a violent abusive drunk who routinely beat Freddie, bullied him into wearing a ring, and "murdered" him by breaking his bones. Everyone covered up this secret because they didn't want to be accused of homophobia so the doctor lied on Freddie's death certificate and poor Mary was threatened into silence. I'm not joking, she's actually said this.

Phoebe and Joe never saw Jim as Freddie's real boyfriend. She asserts this by taking a quote from Mercury & Me out of context, where Joe is apologising to Jim for not taking his relationship with Freddie seriously. According to Shaun Matthews (and I think even Barbara Valentin) there was some doubt about the authenticity of their relationship due to Freddie's rather notorious history when it came to dating, but seeing how Jim cared for Freddie after his diagnosis quickly changed their minds. And Phoebe to this day maintains that Freddie and Jim were in love, so I don't know what the fuck she's smoking when she uses him as an example.

Mercury & Me was written purely for money/fame/clout/a way to get back at Mary because, of course, everything is about her.

Jim stole a load of stuff from Garden Lodge with the help of Shaun Matthews, most notably Freddie's Wembley jacket and...a couch. In broad daylight. With press and cameras around. Mary knew but didn't say anything because she "didn't want to cause a scandal," by getting the authorities involved (didn't stop her when it came to Oscar the cat, lmao.) Jim later sold the things he "stole" at an auction shortly before his death, including the jacket which went to a respectable collector, which proves he didn't love Freddie apparently.

Jim visited a BDSM club while Freddie was on his death bed. Someone contacted The Gate Club, who confirmed they do have a BDSM dungeon in their establishment, but there’s one problem. The Gate Club is a chain franchise and the only one with a BDSM dungeon is in a completely different part of England. She also claims Jim brought men back to Garden Lodge to have sex while Freddie was dying in the next room and she bases this on *checks notes* absolutely nothing.

Everyone in Freddie's life was/is just using him for his fame. And by everyone, I mean everyone. Like, even his family. The only genuine person is Mary, because she can do no wrong.

Lesley Ann-Jones is a liar...except when she's saying bad things about Jim, then it's 100% truth.

Mary lives in Garden Lodge, not Logan Mews, and will pass the house down to her children after she dies because that's what "Freddie wanted." The claim that she actually lives in Logan Mews, and that the house will go to a trust after fifty years is a lie made up by jealous Huttonites.

Jim was an evil manipulative mastermind who managed to fool everyone in Garden Lodge, including Freddie…but he was also “slow.” 🤔

She has this weird obsession with sharing Freddie's will at every given opportunity. This is the same woman who screeches at people about respecting Freddie's privacy.

There's so much more but I'm extremely sleep deprived and honestly, there's only so much crazy I can handle in one day.

[stephwriteswords]

hey look an intro post!

Hello! My name is Steph and I write words. Stories, specifically, especially stories about women, queer people (and the romances they get into), magic, supernatural creatures. I like to write about people (of all ages, genders, races and creature-types) figuring out the world they live in, because I’m tired of media that perpetuates the idea that somehow that stops when you turn 16, or 18, or whatever. I’m 27, and I haven’t figured hardly anything out. If any of you have, please let me know. I have an English degree and a certificate in creative writing, and my ‘day job’ is actually a night job, and it lets me actually have time for writing most times, which is pretty okay, even if it has literally nothing to do with my area of interest.

Anyway, I like memes, and prompts, and questions about my stories and characters. I currently have 3 ‘main’ works in progress, but...I also have ADHD, so...who’s to say what I’ll get excited about next. Currently, though, we have:

The Unchosen One (title not necessarily final; it may go back to being called The Big Story if I change my mind): New Adult urban fantasy ft queer representation and the idea that there’s nothing that only one person can do, and the things that separate us aren’t really as stark as they seem. There’s magic, Magic, a father in peril, an annoyance-to-deep-respect-and-care relationship. This is the first in a series, hence the original title, and nobody knows it yet but there’s gonna be dragons. (tag to follow: #tuo and/or #tbs)

The Four Corners: Sheltered werewolf girl goes to college, finds out the supernatural world is way bigger and more complicated than she ever thought possible. She and her new pack can literally never catch a break. Supernatural YA. There’s vampires, witches, regular humans, and maybe even ghosts! There’s a lot of supernatural politics, too, which is exhausting super fun to write! (tag to follow: #t4c)

The Adventures of Princess Marigold: Middle grades fantasy about a curious princess who accidentally goes on an adventure and has to get out alive, and grow up a little in the process. There are unicorns, trolls, and creatures I made up all by myself. The original version of this story was actually written by my dad, way back in 2004 or something, and I built from his story to create the version that currently exists. It’s full of inside family jokes, but I think it’s pretty good all the same. (tag to follow: #taopm)

I’m a character-driven author, and found families make my heart hurt in the best way. I’ve never even attempted a writeblr before and I’m still getting over being a little stagefrighty about my own writing, but...here we are, so I’m giving it a shot. I guess I’ll be making a masterpost for each of these stories, and I’ll be posting a lot of inspo for my various stories, but I’m also going to try and reblog writing advice (and maybe give my own if people care lmao) and so on. I’ll gladly be your cheerleader, especially if you’re willing to be mine!!

[kayliemusing]

42: top 3s

1: Top 3 ice cream flavors - classic vanilla, birthday cake/birthday batter, bubblegum

2: Top 3 Disney Movies - Mulan, Onward, Soul (but this changes frequently lol)

3: Top 3 vacation destinations - I've never been outside of my home country so I'll say my top 3 DREAM destinations: NYC, Hawaii, a random countryside in either France or the UK

4: Top 3 places to shop - Dynamite, Sephora, Winners/Homesense

5: Top 3 subjects of study/classes to take - English/anything creative writing related, Interior Decorating/Design, Communications?

6: Top 3 make up products - YSL Touche Eclat Foundation, literally any Mac Lipstick but it has to be matte, & Fenty Beauty contour stick

7: Top 3 music artists - Taylor Swift - Of Monsters and Men - The Lumineers

8: Top 3 spices/herbs - Cinnamon - Nutmeg (literally tastes like autumn) - Paprika

9: Top 3 drinks - Diet Coke - Hot Chocolate - Vanilla Bean Frappe

10: Top 3 apps to use - Instagram - Pinterest -iBooks

11: Top 3 months of the year - May, October, December

12: Top 3 clothing items - My black/white turtle neck, high waisted jeans, plaid blazer

13: Top 3 binge perfect tv shows - Bones, Supernatural, Brooklyn Nine Nine

14: Top 3 romantic dates - (I've never been on a date but if I had, it would be this) Evening walk, late night drive, late night coffee date (tbh anything at night feels romantic)

15: Top 3 kinds of flower - Water lilies, cherry blossoms, roses

16: Top 3 christmas movies - A Christmas Carol (2009), Home Alone, The Polar Express

17: Top 3 OTPs - Nesta and Cassian from ACOTAR series by SJM, Manon and Dorian from Throne of Glass series by SJM, Casteel and Poppy from From Blood and Ash series by JLM.

18: Top 3 quotes to describe your life - "I write not to find, but to leave" by Scherezade Siobhan - "I want to be myself again. I want to be six. I want to stop knowing everything I know" by Catherynne M. Valente - "The truth is, I pretend to be a cynic, but I am really a dreamer who is terrified of wanting something she may never get" by Joanna Hoffman.

19: Top 3 characteristics you love about yourself - my kindness bc it's not surface level kindness, but actually something deeply rooted within me - my resilience even tho sometimes it doesn't feel like resilience - my loyalty bc it is a hard as steel kind of loyalty

20: Top 3 kinds of candy - Maltesers, Kit kats, smarties

21: Top 3 ways to exercise/ be active - Walking, dancing, mowing the lawn/shoveling the sidewalk

22: Top 3 spirit animals - wolf, hummingbird, tiger (i googled it bc i didn't know and i was scared it was a joke but)

23: Top 3 petnames - I like 'lovebug', 'love', 'sweetheart'

24: Top 3 books read outside of school - The Hating Game by Sally Thorne, A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J Maas but viewers discretion is advised, Crush by Richard Siken

25: Top 3 most used websites - Youtube, Tumblr, Pinterest

26: Top 3 people you last texted - my mom, my bestie megan, and my sister bc they're the only people i text...

27: Top 3 hashtags you use - the only time i use hashtags is if i'm trying to promote some of my writing so I'll usually use writingcommunity, writersonig, poetryonig lol

28: Top 3 instagram accounts you follow - Trista Mateer, Griefmother, obviously taylor swift

29: Top 3 guilty pleasures - buzzfeed quizzes, early 2000s music, romance novels

30: Top 3 summer activities - Going to the zoo, long evening walks, campfires and s'mores

31: Top 3 things to draw/doodle - hearts, flowers, random swirls bc it's the only thing i can doodle...

32: Top 3 aesthetics - cityscape aesthetic, autumn aesthetic, rustic aesthetic

33: Top 3 things you'd buy if you gained three million dollars - a new car, a condo, another cat

34: Top 3 ways to treat yourself - facial, a large bag of maltesers, buying the makeup i really want but have been putting off

35: Top 3 celebrity crushes - Evan Peters, Matthew Daddario, henry cavill

36: Top 3 books from your childhood - Love You Forever by Robert Munsch, The Big Friendly Giant by Roald Dahl, and Madeline by Ludwig Bemelmens

37: Top 3 accents to hear - Australian, super poshy british accent, new zealand accent

38: Top 3 scents - Fresh rain, vanilla, sweet cinnamon pumpkin from bath and body works

39: Top 3 "Friends" quotes - "WE WERE ON A BREAK" -Ross, "Guess things were just going too well for me" -also ross, and "it's so exhausting waiting for death" - phoebe

40: Top 3 cupcake flavors - tbh I haven't tried that many cupcakes so your typical vanilla, chocolate, and Pink Lady Cupcake from Babycakes Cupcakery

41: Top 3 fruits - Pomegranates, Strawberries, Raspberries

42: Top 3 places you've had amazing pizza from - Pizzahut, Dominos, Pizza73

43: Top 3 sports teams to watch - i don't

44: Top 3 crayola colors - uh, i guess red, purple, and pink??

45: Top 3 things you hope to accomplish in college - Certificates/Degrees in Copyediting and Creative Writing, and I think simply just deeper critical thinking skills when it comes to writing and books

46: Top 3 fanfictions you've read - I read more books than fanfics, I've read a couple on tumblr but don't remember the names sorry :/

47: Top 3 people you miss right now - my dad, my best friend bc she's in vancouver, taylor swift bc she's not on tumblr anymore rip

48: Top 3 fears - Failure, Loss, not achieving anything in life/not reaching my full potential

49: Top 3 favorite literary devices - Foreshadowing is always god tier, cliffhangers although evil i love those too, symbolism

50: Top 3 pet peeves - People dragging their shoes on the floor when they walk, when you tell someone your fav hobby/music artist/interest and they immediately go 'oh I hate X!', and people who go 'you're so quiet!!!' but in a way that draws in more attention and/or makes me feel more uncomfortable like i would literally rather die

51: Top 3 physical things you find attractive - Hands, nice hair, defined jawlines

52: Top 3 bad habits - Nailbiting, picking at my blemishes oops, lip biting

53: Top 3 pets you've had/wish to have - Cats bc they complete me, I've always wanted a Samoyed, and I've always wanted a turtle

54: Top 3 types of foreign food - Chicken Chow Mein, deep fried shrimp, japanese chicken wings

55: Top 3 things you want to say to someone in your lifetime - 'I quit', 'I love you', 'you changed my life'

56: Top 3 dog breeds - Samoyed, german shepherds, collies

57: Top 3 cheesy romance movies - You've Got Mail, How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days, 10 Things I Hate About You

58: Top 3 languages you speak/wish to speak - French, Sign, and maybe Japanese?

59: Top 3 series (book, movie, television) - The Cruel Prince series by Holly Black, A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas (but literally only for Cassian and Nesta), From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L Armentrout

60: Top 3 pizza toppings - Mushrooms, alfredo sauce, pineapple

61: Top 3 youtubers you're subscribed to - Game Grumps, Charlotte Dobre, Megan Batoon

62: Top 3 tattoo / piercing ideas - I want to get a tattoo on my wrist of the last thing my dad ever wrote me, a hummingbird tattoo right next to it, and then a cross on my index finger

63: Top 3 awards you want to win - National Book Awards, Nobel Prize, and maybe even Goodreads Choice Awards lol

64: Top 3 emojis - Laugh/Crying emoji, the please sir emoji that kinda gives off those puss n boots eyes, and the stars emoji

65: Top 3 cars you dream of owning - 1970s Chev Impala, tbh a cute little Hyundai Venue, and maaaaybe the 1964 ferarri 250 gt luso (idk if that name was totally right but i had to do tons of googling to find it. i don't know a lot about cars and i don't really have a top 3 lol)

66: Top 3 authors - Right now I'm really into Sarah J Maas, Sally Thorne, and Holly Black maybe?

67: Top 3 historical figures - Jesus, Anne Frank, Vincent Van Gogh

68: Top 3 baby names - Ryder, Leila, Gracie

69: Top 3 DIYs - Candles, refurnishing old furniture (i.e. my mom and i painted our wooden garbage can), and really just any type of autumn diy

70: Top 3 smoothie combos/flavors - Strawberry/Banana, Mango, Strawberry-Mango

71: Top 3 songs of this month - Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish, Biblical by Calum Scott, and Visiting Hours by Ed Sheeran

72: Top 3 questions of this post you want to be asked - I did them all bc I made it a survey instead of an ask meme ;)

73: Top 3 villains - Regina/The Evil Queen from Once Upon a Time, Cruella De Vil, and Moriarty from Sherlock

74: Top 3 Cities you want to see - Montreal, NYC, Vancouver (honorable mention: LA)

75: Top 3 recipes you want to try - different kind of salad and/or burger bowls, Stuffed bell peppers, and homemade lemon loaf

76: Top 3 dream jobs - Bestselling author, the person who runs a companies social media accounts, youtuber/blogger

77: Top 3 lucky items - tbh don't have one

78: Top 3 traditions you have - Christmas Eve Service and if I don't go to that at least incorporating reading the christmas story on christmas day or eve, idk if this counts as tradition but going to the corn maze every fall, and whenever it's easter/christmas/thanksgiving we always have a big meal w/ family

79: Top 3 things you miss about being a kid - reckless abandon, dreaming about growing up with hopefulness and no dashed hopes, experiencing holidays like halloween and christmas as a kid

80: Top 3 harry potter characters - I've never read or watched Harry Potter rip (ok well i saw the first and second (and maybe third?) movie in the sixth grade I think) but I think I really liked Hermoine, Harry obviously and Dobby

81: Top 3 lies you were told - i don't have 3, but this one has a story but basically when my sister and i were in elementary school my sister got hit by a car and so the insurance thing was that she would recieve 10k when she was 18 and as a child i thought that was unfair so my dad told me that my sister had to split it with me when we were 18 lmao obviously that didn't happen (i think i realized that wasn't true in middle school)

82: Top 3 pictures in your camera roll right now - Pictures of my cat, one of my sister in a hilarious filter, and a picture of my rocking my TS merch

83: Top 3 turn ons - Kindness, defined jawline, easy going

84: Top 3 turn offs - arrogance, unkempt, super loud and obnoxious

85: Top 3 magazines/news papers/ journals to read - I don't read much of those so I'll tell you some sites I love for writing purpose's: there's Wellstoried, justwriterlythings, springhole.net (which is filled with generators if you're stuck and also tons of infomation and advice)

86: Top 3 things you wish you had known earlier - that toad in Mario Party was wearing a mushroom hat and that it is actually not his head, that immaculate means 'clean' before i misused that word like several times over the years, and that the one turn i always take on my way to work where i thought everyone didn't know how to drive was actually bc i didn't have the right of way rip me

87: Top 3 spongebob episodes - the one episode where spongebob and patrick find a ghost ship, that one episode where they form a bikini bottom band and perform it at a football game in a little fish tank, and the one episode where squidward has his first snowball fight

88: Top 3 places to be in the world - I'd love to be in NYC, Montreal, or Hawaii

89: Top 3 things you'd do differently - I would not have applied for RDC, similarly I should have just paid the 500 dollars to the one certificate program I wanted to do instead of overthinking it, and I wish I wouldn't have ended a friendship the way I did

90: Top 3 TV shows from your childhood - Spongebob Squarepants, That's So Raven, and Hannah Montana

91: Top 3 meals you love - Turkey Burgers, Chilli, and Instant Pot Chicken Tortilla Soup

92: Top 3 kinds of tea - i don't drink tea

93: Top 3 embarrassing moments - one time in sixth grade I tripped and fell right on my face in front of my crush, this other time like a couple years ago i opened the door to my car and only realized much too late while i was staring at this random family that it was not my car, and when i went to the gas station to get gas and couldn't get my gas lid on my car opened and this guy had to help me which was already embarrassing enough but then the gas pump wouldn't work so i had to go inside to pay just to realize i forgot my wallet and had to shamefully walk back to my car and then run back inside the convenience store and then pay and then walk back to my car and finally fill my tank.

94: Top 3 holidays to celebrate - Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving

95: Top 3 things to do in the rain - have an existential crisis, pretend you're in a music video, walk through puddles like you're six again

96: Top 3 things to do in the snow - Sledding, Build a snowman, shovel it even tho you don't want to

97: Top 3 items you can't leave the house w/o - phone, keys, wallet

98: Top 3 movies you'd like to see - Jurassic World 3, Hotel Transylvania: Transformania bc i'm a child, and the animation of the addams family

99: Top 3 art mediums - Writing fiction/poetry, painting, music

100: Top 3 museums you've been to - Royal Tyrell Museum, Canadian History one in edmonton lol, and heritage park in calgary

101: Top 3 school memories - Middle school dances when the popular kids would grind to the song "Low" which was always an interesting experience, in the twelfth grade at winter formal when we all shouted "SHUT UP AND DANCE!" at the same time when they played Shut Up and Dance, and the day i left

102: Top 3 things you don't/Won't miss - School, my sisters ex, 2016 bc she was a rough year yikes

103: Top 3 pick up lines - "My name is Will. God's Will.", "I'd like to take you to the movies but they don't like you bring your own snacks", "are you from tennessee bc you're the only 10 i see"

104: Top 3 sports to watch - none of them

105: Top 3 taylor swift songs - all too well - exile - coney island

[shijiujun]

2, 7, 32 for the random asks! :D

2. do you believe in soulmates?

i do, for platonic soulmates especially hahahaha! romantic ones hmmm idk i’ve never had any sort of sign for that, but i don’t know, i honestly can’t imagine finding someone who’ll always be 100% there for you, know you inside and out without you having to say a word, i honestly... don’t know, which is sad, but we all die alone so i feel comforted in that most of the time when i think about my lack of a soulmate, platonic or otherwise, but i do have close friends that come close to that <3

7. do you like your name? if not, what would you change your name to?

ohhhh surprisingly, i actually do like my name!! so my name is actually pretty common throughout the country and also elsewhere, but my dad wanted it be ‘special’ so he changed a vowel from like a to e and changed the first consonant from s to c, and i spent my childhood like getting questions on why my name is not ‘this’ (more common way of spelling it) but ‘that’ and even some dumbass teachers would tell me that the spelling is wrong?! and i’m like bro take my birth certificate!

and not only that, in Singapore for Chinese people, it’s common to have basically two forms of names, as in officially:

(a) [Last Name] + [Chinese Name, 2 characters] = E.g. Lee Wen Xin (b) [English Name] +  [Last Name] + [Chinese Name, 2 characters] = E.g. Mary Lee Wen Xin

like everyone’s birth certs have the above two forms of names, and there are exceptions only for those with middle names (a Western concept) but they aren’t super common. 

ANYWAY my dad decided that NOPE, firstly i will get an English name, and NOPE NO CHINESE NAME ON MY CERT. and moreover!!! he put my last name in front of first name, so can you imagine like having to write Lee Mary all your life (it’s not my name or my surname, but lmao) instead of Mary Lee. AND MOREOVER! every single teacher in my primary school insisted that i was lying when i wrote down my name on papers (because if you have to write your full names on exams and stuff) and i was like “BIJ YOU DON’T GET TO TELL ME WHAT MY NAME IS THANK YOU”

but now it’s really kinda nice, because i actually do get to tell ppl to fuck off when they insist i don’t know my full, passport-printed name HAHAHA ded, and my chinese name ended up in my identification card instead you know, life was made unnecessarily hard in this case, the only thing is NO STARBUCKS EMPLOYEE has ever gotten my name right but that’s okay

32. would you ever want to move outside of your country?

yes please!! like PLEASEEEE GET ME OUT OF HERE FOR A YEAR OR TWO. i think what i really want is to go back and study, and like... live in a place where there are four seasons?! i feel so cheated by the lack of an autumn season in my country, and a place where i can get my favourite goods quickly and at a cheaper cost. taiwan or china pls yes!!

random asks here!

[tonbanereblogs]

@bardingbeedle tagged me in these 50 questions, WOW. I read theirs while typing out mines and it felt like a conversation, thanks for the entertainment :)

I'm tagging @panna-acida @gay-and-bitter @owmione @veryaveragejoe and @feministcriossant if you guys feel like it :). If not, dw!

WARNING it's long and can't add read more on mobile, sorry

What is the colour of your hairbrush?

I have a wooden one and a plastic grey one :)

Are you typically too warm or too cold?

Too warm but I never notice. It's always someone asking me how can I be in just a t-shirt haha

What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Playing animal crossing while painting (if you play add me pls)

What is your favourite candy bar?

I'm bad at names but I like any bar that has caramel and chocolate.

Have you ever been to a professional sports event?

Yes, both my father and sister have been cyclists!

What is the last thing you said out loud?

Congrats to my dad, who is playing racing games rn.

What is your favourite ice cream?

Coconut ice cream, just had some for dessert!

What was the last thing you had to drink?

My forgotten, cold tea.

Do you like your wallet?

No, it's too thick to carry it in my jean's pockets and I don't like carrying a bag or smth

What was the last thing you ate?

Risotto and coconut ice cream hehe

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

How exactly

The last sporting event you watched?

My cousin's basketball game like ages ago

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn?

I'm.... Disgusted by artificial flavours, I like normal popcorn

Who is the last person you sent a text message to?

Someone in my animal crossing server lmao

Ever go camping?

Once and it wasn't even the full experience. I want to go :(

Do you take vitamins?

Nope

Do you go to church every Sunday?

Every religious relative's communion so like five years ago.

Do you have a tan?

Not atm with being locked up and all that

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

It depends, but I'd choose Chinese because I eat it way less often.

Do you drink your soda with a straw?

I only use my straw when I make strawberry milkshakes :3

What colour socks do you usually wear?

All colours. Right now green with hamburger pattern

Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

I don't even drive :(

What terrifies you?

Watching psychological torture/rape movies. It makes me feel traumatised, like pretending to be normal but shifting, scratching, wanting to throw up... Heh

Look to your left, what do you see?

My grandma's hand sewn drawing (?) Of a cat and puppy cuddling, it says "love will keep us warm"

What chore do you hate?

Making the bed. I move so much at night that it's not even worth it.

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

I think "hm, I don't deserve my C2 English certificate"

What’s your favourite soda?

Lemon flavoured and watered down, because soda has too much sugar for me

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?

I've never used a drive-thru, I think they're not part of my area's culture

Who’s the last person you talked to?

Again? My dad / texted my ac discord

Favourite cut of beef?

I don't know?

Last song you listened to?

KK Bossa from animal crossing (because I'm playing rn) if you mean "real" music, it's *opens Spotify* I don't love you by mcr... What the Fuck when?

Last book you read?

I've been reading about the Cambrian period (first creatures out of the water, my jam)

Favourite day of the week?

In lockdown week days don't exist

Can you say the alphabet backwards?

I can say the notes backwards but it's lame to type it out... I'm gonna anyway

Do re mi fa sol la si do si la sol fa mi re do.

How do you like your coffee?

25% coffee, 25% water and 50% milk, no sugar. Sometimes hot as hell sometimes iced. I'm very serious about the percentages

Favourite pair of shoes?

Some black combat boots that make me 7cm taller and also are ripping apart

The time you normally go to sleep?

Used to be 11 but now it varies, the latest is 2

The time you normally get up?

I used to get up strictly at 7am, but now I'm a bit sad w lockdown and I can't manage to wake up as early

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?

Lately sunsets come with pretty reds :3

How many blankets on your bed?

One nordic

Describe your kitchen plates

All the same style but two colour variants: black and white.

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

One single sangria per year I'd say

Do you play cards?

Not really. Only if the group forces me

What colour is your car?

My dad's car is black, if it helps. Mine was going to be a seat toledo 2000 but they sold it.

Can you change a tire?

No hehe

Favourite job you’ve ever had?

Illustrating a children's book about taking care of the planet

How did you get your biggest scar?

I fainted in the bathroom, half naked and hit my cheekbone with the bidet? Glorious. At the moment I was in highschool so I told people I fell off my bike

What did you do today that made someone else happy?

Attend a friend's online party. It was v sweet but I was the only guest, that's why I'm guessing I made her happy.

[purplesurveys]

813

When was the last time you baked something for someone? It was like 2011 or something. My parents had bought a new oven and my sister and I wanted to ~baptize it by baking cookies. Our cookies honestly didn’t taste like anything but our relatives were really nice to praise us about them anyway.

Do you ever spend the night at random people’s houses? I would never do that, that sounds so dangerous lol. I only ever spend the night at my best friends’.

What did you eat for dinner tonight? Was it any good at all? It was pork in some sort of coconut sauce. It was insanely good but when I asked my dad what it was, he just smiled at me which leads me to think he just experimented and invented the dish lol.

What is the most annoying thing that your parents do? I don’t like it when my mom barges into rooms without knocking and when she’s being fat-phobic and racist. My dad occasionally has brief spurts of being agitated with everyone and he’ll proceed to have comments about every single thing going on around him, and that can get pretty damn annoying.

Would you be mad if your mom showed your boyfriend your baby pictures? If my mom showed my *girlfriend my baby pictures, I wouldn’t be annoyed. I don’t see why I would be, they’re just photos.

Would you say you’re someone who has good manners? Yes. I honestly pride myself on that fact because I’ve seen so many people my age who lack basic manners. I may not be close with my mom but she raised me very well when it comes to this.

When was the last time you went to an amusement park? Which one? I went to a school fair last January if that counts. If we’re talking about legit amusement parks, it was in 2013 when we went to Universal Studios in Singapore and Legoland in Malaysia.

Would you rather be kissed on the neck or on the lips? I’d normally prefer neck, but I haven’t been kissed on the lips for so long that I’d pick that for now.

Do you completely trust the person you’re dating? Very much.

Has someone ever called you heartless before? Why is that? My mom. Idk, she was being her.

What color was the shirt you wore yesterday? Gray, but it had a rainbow heart on the top left side.

Have you ever completely given up on someone any time in life? Kind of, yeah. Very early on I had given up on the possibility of my mom changing her ways and tendencies. Ever since coming to terms with that fact, it’s been easier to tolerate the verbal abuse. I’ve also given up on the possibility of one of my uncles turning his life around for the better, permanently.

What is one thing you’re not looking forward to in the next week? More days of being stuck at home.

Would you consider Christmas your favorite holiday? It is not and it hasn’t been for a very long time.

Would you rather give someone presents or receive them? Receive. I’m perpetually anxious about whether someone likes my gifts or not so giving is always stressful for me; whereas when I receive presents I always, always love them whatever they may be.

How many chances do you normally give someone before giving up on them? One, usually. I’m not very patient with people who mess up lol.

Did you parents know what gender you were before you were born? Yes, but they didn’t decide on a name until the very moment that they had to write down a name while filing for my birth certificate. Ever since they revealed that to me, I’ve always been conditioned to think that my name was a super clutch decision lmao. It’s fine though because I’m happy with my name.

Are any of your really close friends pregnant right now? No, I’m very sure none of them are. Then again, the people I went to high school with who have kids now kept their pregnancies a secret, so I honestly never know who’s currently pregnant.

Are you for or against inter-racial relationships? Anyone who is against it is a traditional asshole.

Would you say you’re more of a pessimist or optimist? Depends on the situation. I can always be either.

Do you know what your true typing speed is? What is it? I mean I’ve taken some tests before and if I bring my A-game I can do 85-95 words per minute. I never have to type that fast in real life though so my average typing speed is probably slightly slower than that.

What would you say is the longest survey you’ve ever taken? I did so many attempts to do the 5000-question survey but I never finished it lol. My longest survey was probably 500 questions back when I had just discovered surveys and wanted to take the longest ones available.

Do you get bored by things really easily, or not so much? I’d say I get bored fast. I think it’s because I’ve never really had good things stick with me for a long time and they’re always taken away from me so soon, so now, whenever I enjoy stuff I think my brain just kinda self-sabotages the whole situation and makes me bored with them so that I can move past them with no problem.

Do you hate it when people pronounce ‘potatoes’ as ‘taters?’ No. I didn’t even know they mean the same thing until right now lol, I just thought taters was some sort of American term.

Have you ever been addicted to something unhealthy? I’ve never been legitimately addicted to anything, no.

Do you wear a lot of make-up on a daily basis? I wear no makeup on a daily basis. < Same.

Who makes the best desserts in your entire family? My uncle Afay. He posts his masterpieces on his Facebook and they allllllways look so good whether it’s cheesecake, dream cakes, cream puffs, crinkles, etc. Sometimes when I heart-react his food posts, he’ll even tell me to drop by his place after school so he can give me some :)

When was the last time your received a hug? Who was this hug from? March 7th. Gabie. This lack of hugs is so not good for me lmao.

Do you have good dreams or nightmares more? I have weird dreams most often. They’re neither good nor bad, it’s just random people showing up doing things I’ll never expect them to do in real life haha.

Would you rather color pictures with markers or crayons? Crayons. Markers use up a lot of ink and I’d feel weird using all that up just to color a picture; I’d rather use markers to simply write stuff.

Do people come to you for advice a lot of the time? Not all the time but I do get a fair amount of that kind of message.

When the holidays come around, do you watch holiday movies? Not always. I watch them year-round. Would you say you’re a friendly person or not so much? I’m friendly with everybody but I hold back to a certain extent. At the end of the day I still choose which people I wanna be my true self, or show my true personality, with.

Have you ever / do you ever recycle? Sometimes, though out of the 3R’s I do reduce the most.

When was the last time you ate something from Burger King? Sometime shortly before the quarantine. I think it was in February.

When someone mentions a song, does it make you wanna listen to it? Only if it’s a song I already know and like.

Do you usually talk more than you should about things? Yep, have a pretty big mouth. I’ve been scolded for it more than once.

Who is the nosiest person you know? Do you like them anyways? Mils can be such a social climber and always wants to be in the know about everything so that she can understand references and look cool. Idk, it’s hard to like her because she tries so hard. I’m always nice to her though because she hasn’t done anything bad to me.

When did you last talk to one of your teachers? Like...from high school? Man, I have no clue. The day of my graduation, probably. I noped the fuck out of that place and out of that culture the second I got my diploma.

How many class periods does your school have? What are the classes? We have hundreds of classes in my university so it’ll be impossible and incredibly time- and space-consuming to list them all down. During the time I was in high school we had English, Filipino, Math (a different specialization for every year), Social Studies/History (same as math), Science (same thing), Christian Living Education (because Catholic school lol), Philosophy in senior year, Health, Home Economics/Accounting, Homeroom, and some local class where we were basically taught how to be charitable to the less fortunate (because again, Catholic school). I don’t know if I was able to recall all the classes but that’s a good chunk of them. We typically had 7-8 classes in a day that would last 45 minutes each.

Would you say you’re a faster or slow learner? Depends on what I’m learning. For instance, I’m quick at learning stuff that can be memorized or read from a book like history, law, biology, etc. but you’ll have to be incredibly patient with me when it comes to teaching me something like sewing or origami.

Are you one of those people who like The Nightmare Before Christmas? I’ve never seen it.

Do you fully understand the concept of ‘love?’ Probably not yet. I have an idea of it now, but that can always change. After all, I’m still incredibly young and have lots of unknown lessons yet to pick up.

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.23 (Last Year’s Model)

“You like me, you really like me”. She didn’t say this but I feel this is the perfect description for this picture lol

- The Mcguire family’s got mail! Besides the generic ones like bills, Matt receives a letter that contains a $50 gift certificate from his grandma, Gammy Mcguire for his birthday. 

- But she seemed to forget when Matt’s birthday is because she had already gifted him his present 7 months ago. I still would like to see Gammy actually appear on-screen and interact with her family. But we are never going to get that I’m afraid. 

- As for Lizzie, she asks her mom if she could participate in a fashion show organised by ‘Teen Attitude’ magazine. If she’s chosen by them, she will receive $500 worth of merchandise. I would definitely want to do that fashion show just for the perks. Her mom seems to be on board as long as she does her homework and stops picking on Matt.

Lizzie says sure but we all know that she’s not going to do one of the two promises lol

Lizzie The Runway Model

Remember when fashion shows back then were all fun and joyful and the models always used to spin around? Nowadays, most models just look so miserable.

- Gordo seems to be on-board with the whole modeling thing for Lizzie, mostly because of the $500. Isn’t he the type of person who views modeling as superficial? I also wonder why Miranda wasn’t interested in trying out for the fashion show?

- Mr. Dig, their substitute teacher suddenly interrupts their conversation and went off on a tangent by talking about the time he gave advice to a model by the name of Colette Romana, whose face was broken when an elephant sat on her face in Nairobi.....okayyy

Mr. Dig is really odd but I do appreciate his honesty with the kids when it comes to life lessons 

- Next, we move on to the ‘Styling’ and Sassy’ fashion show! Lizzie’s parents, her friends and even Kate Sanders plus Ethan Craft are in the audience. Can I just say that Lizzie totally rocked the runway!? She really fits the typical girl-next-door look the fashion show was trying to showcase and not to mention, I love the fact that an S Club 7 song (Everybody Wants Ya) is playing in the background too!

Work that twirl girlfriend!

- Kate is clearly jealous that she couldn’t do the fashion show because she had to go to a funeral. Wow Kate, way to hit a new low this time. But I must say; Kate would’ve have been great for this because she certainly has the height for the runway. 

Everybody Is Acting Weird Around Lizzie

- After the fashion show, Lizzie tells her friends that she was asked to do another fashion show due to her amazing performance. Gordo then makes a joke with her, reminding her to not forget about them when she becomes famous and all of a sudden, Lizzie forgets his name when addressing him...umm what? Hope she wasn’t kidding when she did that.

- After that, we see this girl who sat with Kate and Ethan in the fashion show approach Lizzie and invites her to her dad’s clubhouse to hang out in the hot tub and watch the new Backstreet Boys DVD. This show is definitely old lmao!

Okay, this girl’s name is Jessica. I had to fast forward to figure that out.

- Lizzie hesitates to say yes because she already made plans with Gordo and Miranda to watch a movie but turns out, both her friends are very eager to join Lizzie at the country club and hang out with the popular kids. Even Gordo!

- We are then taken to the clubhouse and our trio is seen chilling in the hot tub. Gordo is mostly enjoying the free food being served. I can definitely relate to him. What’s surprising me right now is how Kate’s acting all cool and friendly in front of Lizzie.

What a sudden change in attitude! She’s now acting as if Lizzie is a legit celebrity, which she isn’t. I don’t get it.

- It’s not just with Kate; Miranda is also acting different around Lizzie. She offers to bring a drink over to Lizzie and basically recites the entire drinks menu. She’s acting like Lizzie’s personal assistant. But wow, Miranda actually seems to have a great memory when it comes to listing things out. 

- Back at the hot tub, Gordo is talking to Jessica and tells her he has videos of Lizzie that he has shot for his short films/documentaries. He offers to come over to her house to show her some of them to which she says yes, as long as he brings Lizzie along. 

Why is Gordo the only one wearing shades? It’s either he has sensitive eyes or he just wants to look cool, which isn’t something Gordo would do

- And just like that, Lizzie is going to watch videos at Jessica’s on Sunday night without agreeing to it. On top of that, she’s apparently going dancing at the ‘Shango Tango’ on Saturday night with them as well. Basically, they want to use Lizzie’s status as a model to grant them access to these places. She did one fashion show and they’re acting like she’s Gigi Hadid or whatever lol

Lizzie’s Famous Now

- At school, everyone is just staring at Lizzie everywhere she goes. Even Kate goes up to her and compliments her outfit and accessories. 

“My earrings match my eyes?”. This line is definitely memorable to me. 

- Plus, it seems like the tables have turned because Lizzie and Ethan have literally switched characters. When Lizzie is talking to him about an English test they just took, he’s acting like the old Lizzie when she’s around him; all awkward and fidgety. 

- Lizzie notices all of this and tells her friends how everyone is acting so different around her. Miranda and Gordo doesn’t view this as a negative; They like the fact that people are noticing them now and inviting them to all sorts of special events/parties. 

- After running away from the other students who were all just staring at her still, Lizzie hides in a room where Mr. Dig is and he then takes a picture of Lizzie to have it signed so he can sell it to his nephew...and niece. Well, putting that aside, Lizzie rants to her teacher how everyone and even her best friends are treating her differently nowadays since the fashion show. 

- Mr. Dig suggests to Lizzie that she should treat them like how a celeb diva would and treat them like dirt. This is to remind them that they are her friends and not her posse. 

Lizzie Brings Out Her Inner Diva

- Gordo and Miranda arrive at Lizzie’s house and Lizzie commences “Operating Superstar Brat” by acting like a total diva towards her friends. She’s even dressed up like one from head to toe. 

Even worse, Gordo and Miranda follow her orders and starts to bark like dogs, albeit their execution was a little sloppy lol.

- Soon after, Lizzie drops her act and tells her friends that they have changed. They clearly realise this and promise to Lizzie that things will go back to normal and they won’t act like her posse anymore. But the problem is, everyone else is still treating her differently. And this is the solution she came up with:

To act like a complete and utter fool on the runway. 

- I have to give props to Lizzie for having the courage to dress up like this and act this way in front of an audience. But if I were her, I wouldn’t want to give up a modeling contract with a popular magazine just because people are acting differently around me. I mean, I would at least give it more time to see if the situation would improve. Most of all, I wouldn’t want to embarrass myself publicly like how Lizzie did here. 

- Also, she didn’t have to include this dumb confrontation between her and Miranda. It just wasn’t necessary.

Y’all didn’t need to fight. The fashion show was already ruined when Lizzie started scratching her butt lol

B-Plot: Matt Goes Shopping

- Sam and Jo brings Matt and Lanny to the hardware/electronics store to shop for things he can get with the $50 gift certificate. Lanny gravitates towards the massage chair but it’s way too expensive. We then get a montage of the boys and Matt’s parents trying out different products at the store to the song, ‘Shopping’ by the Pet Shop Boys. It’s a pretty catchy song if you ask me. 

My favorite part of the montage is when they reference back to the Austin Powers’ villains, Dr. Evil and Mini-Me 

- Matt spots a hammock priced at $75 and he thinks it’s perfect for him. Even though it costs $25 more, Lanny is able to cover the rest because he’s earning money from his website. My question is, what kind of content is in Lanny’s website anyways?

- Back in the Mcguires’ backyard, Matt and Lanny are busy assembling the hammock they just bought but unfortunately for them, they got less than stellar results:

Exhibit A

- They are back at the store again and they want to return the hammock and get a refund. However, the store clerk, who is being a total prick tells them that they can’t get a refund on sale items. Okay fine but he needs to watch his tone when talking to customers. And he even called Sam an ‘old timer’. The disrespect! Sheeesh!

And the award for worst customer service goes to...

- Sam leaves behind Matt and Lanny to talk to the manager and afterwards, we see the two boys doing the absolute right thing by playing a prank on the useless employee who is walking on the treadmill. They proceed to tape his hands onto both handles and increase the speed on the treadmill. I’m not the one to agree with pranking others but this guy really deserved it.

Overall Thoughts

- This is yet again, a very entertaining episode. I love how the story was very Lizzie-centric this time and it did not disappoint. I mean, it was a little outrageous how EVERYONE was acting and treating Lizzie like a total A-lister after appearing in one fashion show. It’s like they assumed that everybody reads ‘Teen Attitude’ magazine.

- It kinda got me to think that maybe after the events of The Lizzie Mcguire Movie, I would assume that everyone at school would treat her similarly because she did perform a hit song in front of millions of people in Italy, which I’m sure it caught the attention of US mainstream media.

- Besides that, the soundtrack of this episode was incredible! I had to look up the songs on YouTube because they were so catchy. Lastly, Matt’s storyline was pretty insignificant in this episode and it didn’t really provide me with anything besides some physical comedy.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

actually another point that really pisses me off with extracurriculars (also called ECs in this post) and ESPECIALLY the ECs while I was in uni, was the fact that nearly all of them required a distinction (75-84) average/high distinction (85-100) average to actually participate. like this counted for even general tutoring where youd suppose a credit average (65-74) should be enough in arts subjects at least lmao.

like the most irritating ones that required the distinction/high distinction averages were like “leadership” workshop presenters and even uni promoters who’d travel to schools around my district and sometimes further afield to talk about study or the uni. but the most infuriating thing with that is that they also looked at your ATAR- ie. your uni entrance score or what would be the equivalent to like the SAT score in the US/A levels in the UK or the IB score internationally. and the ATARs usually hd to be in like the 80 zone to do anything with tutoring or leadership/study workshops etc.

like my ATAR was low back in 2013 when I did my hsc- coming back as 38.25.... but I still managed to pull through undergrad with a credit average and get into my post grad diploma. but is that enough to talk at elevate study workshops? apparently not. apparently the only inspiring people for these study and leadership seminars are people that are loaded with money (usually bc most attended tutoring during school.... if I remember my elevate workshop from year 10 correctly) so that they could achieve great marks to get into uni and know how to maintain them while they were at uni. they have the resources to do serveral extracurricular things and even some community work to boot. in short, they had EVERYTHING to get them to uni.

for me, i found the above super hard to relate to in year 10. and hell, even now. like I didn’t have the home environment or a great chance of doing anything really (or at least that’s how my 17/18yo self viewed it from her depressed and anxious thoughts in 2013) at all during my hsc to get good marks in those final exams. like in year 10 in 2011 before the hsc, for the school certificate, i basically almost had to repeat bc i’d stopped handing in assessments. one of my friends actually had to save my ass for me by writing half of my english speech for me so that I didn’t fail and have to repeat the next year. all through year 10 i was threatened by teachers telling me that my (now defunct) school certificate wouldn’t be marked bc if I wrote by hand myself.

it was the same in years 11/12. but my teachers were so tired with fighting the board of studies for a laptop for me to use during my final exams, that they relied on the BOS to tell me that I’d got one. but the BOS never told me, so I went in without studying and believing that everyone around thought I was too fucking brainless to achieve anything above a 50 atar without studying. I did have a computer for my final exams though, but I didn’t know UNTIL THE FIRST DAY OF MY FIRST ENGLISH EXAM when my community and family studies (cafs) teacher FINALLY decided to tell me.

like after all of that bullshit, I came out with 38.25. I moped and cried and hated myself bc I didn’t get a good atar and had to go to business college instead. bc they were one of the places that didn’t judge on ATAR at all. I hauled my ass through my fucking advanced diploma of marketing and got into uni. I did over 600 pages of work in my AD, with my longest assignment being fucking 75 pages!!!! like y’all I wrote a whole (super poorly) written textbook in a fucking year!!!!! like how fuckin ridiculous is that?????!!!!

like yes. I struggled like fuck through undergrad... in fact I wanted to drop out halfway through second year bc I felt like I’d done my whole 3 years already. but I pushed on through that finally graduated in oct 2018. now I’m half way through my grad diploma. like yes during that i only did one extra curricular, which was attending toastmasters sporadically when I remembered/felt like going/or my class schedule permitted. I tried the blogging thing but never interviewed anyone bc i was too shy... I basically did the blogging thing bc IT WAS THE ONLY THING that didn’t require the atar/some uni grade average to do it. it was that or a multimedia newsroom assistant that didn’t need a grade average... other than some career programs. so I focussed on career building workshops instead. after all of that I came out with roughly a credit average according to my undergrad uni’s WAM calculator.... my wam was about 68.8 or something by the time I graduated.

but like. the whole time i was at uni I was met with the question “how did you even get in... if your atar WAS THAT LOW???? you couldn’t even get into the uni college with 38.25.” i constantly got that from careers advisors and stuff. and I had to say “well it was my advanced diploma that got me in bc it was a pass/fail course.”

like why isn’t that considered more “inspiring” as opposed to shitty, snobby kelvin or henrietta over here who got all straight A’s through school, did several sports and other ECs; did a fuck load of charity and community work, did the duke of Edinburgh award by working at a retirement home for a year as a conversation giver or whatever they’re called. like I find that so fucking unrelatable bc I didn’t have the time and money to do any of that. like yes my hsc marks were abysmal and so were most of my marks in junior school (but let’s not count math and PE for this post, considering i went into arts lmao)... like surely the stories of lower achieving students that get into uni and eventually pick themselves up off the floor to get some shit done are 10billion times more relatable than Goodie-Two-Shoes My Parents Are Loaded AF Sally™️ or My Parents Sent Me To Over-Priced Tutoring That Sometimes Did My Homework For Me But I Turned It In As I’d Done It Myself Jerry™️ that are both selected as presenters for these programs.

like fuck off with your “how did you even get here if your atar was so low and how are you even still here?” Janice in careers central. or elevate leaders conference. let lower achievers speak and have a chance to do some fucking extra curriculars that involve public speaking etc.... so that they can inspire and relate to the lower achieving kids to maybe attend and finish uni..... and come out on top of the stupid rich cunts like henrietta/sally/jerry/kelvin who are usually the ones who are more likely to drop out half the time.... because they realise that they’re just doing it to make the parents proud.... bc it turns out that it’s not what they ACTUALLY WANTED TO DO in the first place.

so yeah. I think more ECs at universities should be more accomodating to people in the lower mark ranks (like credit averages or people who got lower atars than the standard 70 for most courses)..... and especially the ones that are about “leadership” or “study” or whatever.... bc like i didn’t do my advanced diploma probs wouldn’t‘ve gone to uni until much later in life (i think anyway idk). and people should be kinder to others who got into uni via alternate pathways like a diploma from an outside institution and not be all snide like “how did you even get here if your academics were so low?” like learn to acknowledge that people have problems with getting high marks or will usually nowadays get hit with bad depression/anxiety in year 12 over marks and thus not achieve what they probs could have.

anyway there’s another academia/extra curriculars rant done lmao.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #192

“i’d love to give you wings, but babe, you’ve got to grow them.”

Where have you lived throughout your life? The same general area in North Carolina. Do you find your job rewarding? N/A What kind of cake did you have for your last birthday? I'm sure it was red velvet. To you, which is better: English muffins or bagels? I enjoy both, but bagels. Do you paint your nails? No. What’s the last website you signed up for? Good question... maybe a feral dog RP forum I was considering making a character on? Do you check your email everyday? I'm getting into the habit. Have you created any pages on Facebook? Yeah. Is there a subject that you absolutely suck at? Social studies/history, math. What’s your favorite song by Dave Matthews Band? I have no idea who that is. Are there people you have absolutely nothing in common with, but still enjoy talking to? Maybe? Have you ever wandered around drunk with your friend? No. Are you good at holding back your laughter if needed? Nooo, not at all. Have you ever been so unfortunate to suffer from a hangover? No. Have you ever had a panic attack? Plenty. Are you deathly allergic to anything? No. Have you ever had a mouse in your house? Yeah. In our old one, anyway. Do you know anyone who DOESN’T have an ex? Not personally, I think. Is anyone you know really religious? Welcome to the South. Yes. Are your eyebrows naturally thick? I'd say they're average. Has speaking in front of people ever made you sick? No. I haven't spoken in front of an actual audience since my senior project, though. It was hard, but I think I did well. What was the last movie that made you teary-eyed? I'm not sure. Moana may have gotten me a bit teary? But if no, Coco absolutely did. Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other? I think "hate" is a strong word for it. Has a laptop ever burned your legs? Yes. I legitimately had dark spots on my right leg for a long while. Do you know anyone who has a scar through their eyebrow? Juan. Who was the last person to flip you off? Idk, but I'm sure it was playfully. Anyone’s birthday coming up soon? Miiiine! And my friend Alyssa's. Would you ever wear fake eyelashes? Sure, in rare circumstances. Are you good at following directions? No. I have zer-O sense of direction. Do you have someone that you can just act a fool with and not care? Sara. From where you’re sitting, can you touch a wall? Yeah, behind me. When at a restaurant, do you put your napkin on your lap? Not unless I'm with my grandmother. She's extremely "proper" about things. Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners? Electric. Are your biceps at all noticeable? No. Have you ever seen a walrus? Are there any at SeaWorld? Otherwise, no. When it comes to dropping food, do you believe in the 10 second rule? HELL NO. I'm a germaphobe with that stuff. If given the opportunity, would you ride on a camel? Sure? Do you believe that cellphones actually do cause cancer? I don't recall the science behind this theory, so idk. When people you know cry, does it make you feel like crying too? Oh yes, especially if it's someone I'm very close to. Particularly, I can't handle Mom, my sisters, or Sara crying. I've never seen Dad cry, but if he ever did, I know I would bawl. Do you tend to jump to conclusions? Was this written as a direct @me??????? Are you good at remembering your friends’ birthdays? NOPE. I only remember... Sara's, Connie's, Caleb's (just because it's on Halloween), Shaylee's, and that's literally it out of friends/acquaintances. Is there something you need to do, that you’re trying to avoid doing? Actually use WiiFit. I'm doing periodic exercises throughout the day, but I need to dedicate more and be able to see my center of balance. Ever pop someone else’s pimple? NONONONONO IT'S SO GROSS TO ME How long does it take you to fall asleep? No less than 15 minutes, I think usually more. Do you crack your neck often? I can't. Did you have a weird dream last night? OH MY GOD YES. I was awkwardly with one of my acquaintances at his house somehow????? and we both seemed very uncomfortable??????? and I think I was high or some shit???????????????? I don't even know this person well enough to like-like him?????????????? Who do you sometimes compare yourself to? My sisters and successful friends. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? Doing the right things. But I aim for both. In what way are you your own worst enemy? I criticize. The. Hell out of everything I do. What activities make you lose track of time? Video games. When you help someone do you ever think, “What’s in it for me?” Full offense, you're an absolute dick if you do that. Who do you tell your secrets to? Nobody really unless there's reason to, and only ever Sara, Mom, or my therapist. Who do you live with? Mom and the pets. When did/will you graduate? '14 for high school. Idk when I will for college, gotta get there first... When are you moving next? Probably when Sara and I are ready for our own place. When is the last time you took a vitamin? I have to twice a week now, so Thursday, because I have an incredible vitamin D deficiency, and that's probably what's causing my knee problems. Why are you stressed? The everlasting weight loss struggle. Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? No. Where do you keep your birth certificate? It's in a safe. How many books are in your room? Uhhh like three? Then one coloring book. Have you ever been IN a wedding? I was the immensely triggered and ugly bridesmaid at my older sister's. Weddings were a very sensitive thing to me at the time, so while I was so happy for Ashley, I had a very difficult time and cried numerous times. What was the last thing you laughed out loud at? I think during a Mark video? Do you have a nickname? Why? "Britt" for obvious reasons, and Mom's called me "Twinkie" since I was a baby. She gave all her children sweets-based nicknames. Fuck out my face if you think that ain't the cutest damn thing. Have you ever had a bad concert experience? No. When was the last time someone told you that you were beautiful/good-looking? Do people often tell you this? I think the last time was when Sara said I looked really pretty with eyeliner on and I just eeeeeeeeeek. I'm not often told it. Are you missing someone of the opposite sex atm? Not romantically. I'd like to see Girt as a bud; I'm gonna invite him to my birthday dinner to hang out. Hopefully he doesn't have work. Want someone back in your life? Yes. Are you currently sad about anything? Weight. Unbelievable difficulty getting my fucking transcript and inability to find my ACT score so I can go back to school. Are you wearing anything shiny? My lip ring has gems on it, and they shine a bit in the right light. How important is a sense of humor in a significant other? I need it. I don't think I could really enjoy a constantly serious person as a partner. How many followers do you have on Twitter? Idk, don't care to check. I only ever use it to be able to like Mark's shit lmao. Do you sleep with the door open or closed? Open so Roman can go in and out. Have you ever been to the beach? Multiple times. Can you handle blood? Doesn't bother me a bit. Do you pay your bills or do your parents? My parents. I have no source of income to. What’s your best friend’s middle name? Jane. Has any place hired you underage for a job? No. Have you ever barely passed a grade/year in school? In college courses when my mental state was at its worst. Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? No. Have you ever tried to sell something overpriced to someone? No, I don't think so. Do you plan to become very wealthy some day? "Very" is unlikely, but I am dead serious about being at least perfectly financially stable one day. I refuse to live how I have my whole life so far, wondering if rent will be paid each month 'n things like that. Do you remember your first time going to the movies? No. Does eating breakfast make you sick? No. Are you dying to say something to someone right this minute? No. Well, not dying to, but after this whole revelation I had, I really want to apologize to Jason. I wasn't without evil in how I responded to and treated him after the breakup. Book series you enjoyed reading recently? I haven't read a series in years. Do you enjoy lying in the grass during the summer, and just existing? Nooo. Summer sucks and lying in grass is super uncomfortable. Do you have a passport? If so, how many stamps do you have in it? No. Are there any keys on your keyboard that have letters fading away? Not fading, but literally gone from the keyboard because this one is horrible, even after being "fixed" or replaced (idr). No joke, 21 are gone. Sooo I have to smash those buttons for the sensor or whatever to understand I'm pressing them, to the point my fingers, especially right pointer, are mildly callused. Do any of your close friends have children? No close ones, but one I'm hoping to reconnect more with it expecting. What do you plan on having for dinner? Probably a sandwich and nutrition shake to get enough calories to take my medicine and get the intended effect. Do you like Chinese food, or do you find it disgusting? The only things I enjoy now are fried rice and eggrolls, but I used to like sweet and sour chicken and bird on a stick or whatever its proper name is. Have the police ever come knocking on your door looking for someone? Once. Know anybody who works in a tattoo parlor? We're not like, "real" friends, but I know a good number of and get along great with the employees at the parlor I'm a regular customer at. I want to work there so badly. Small, environment I feel at home at, great people. Have you ever played flashlight tag? Don't even know what that is. Could you call yourself a movie buff? Not at all. Have you ever had a piercing get infected? A second hole in one of my earlobes, and the first time I got my tongue done, there was an abscess inside that indicated one was likely to form. Thank God that the rollercoaster of The Tongue Piercing Woes has ended. Do you check your fire alarms when you’re supposed to? Mom does occasionally. Are you a shorts wearing kind of person? NOOOOO MY LEGS ARE NOT OKAY. Plus I chafe. Is your grandparents’ house obsessively tidy? Ohhhh I'm sure. I haven't been to her house since I was a kid, but I remember it being like, pristine. Her rooms at her son's is neat as hell too. About how much can you bench press? I have no clue. Have you ever had your phone die on you in the middle of a conversation? Yeah. Is anybody in your family a carpenter? Not to my knowledge. Are you avoiding someone? No. Do you call your boyfriend “Monkey”? I have a gf, and I have never in the least understood how that's a term of endearment. What’s your favorite primary color? Red. What were you for Halloween? Nothing, ugh. I haaave to dress up this year. Do you have any clothes from Walmart? Yeah. When did you get a Facebook? I have no clue. What color are your eyes? Grayish-greenish blue. What motivates you? How far I've already come, wanting a better future than I have now, encouragement from friends, family, my therapist, and psychiatrist, the drive to thoroughly enjoy my one mortal existence. Can you walk in heels? Not well. When was the last time someone asked you your age? Ummm, last time I got something done at the parlor, I think? Do you keep a journal? No. Have you ever tried a weird flavor of vodka? No. Do you wear a ring on your finger? One, my friendship ring with Sara. What are you doing? This, listening to Asking Alexandria's "Closer" NIN cover (no shame), and waiting for Girt to reply on Facebook. What’s the last kind of soup you ate? A bit of vegetable. Do you currently have a sunburn? No. Who did you last text? Mom. Who’d you last call? About what? My old college to find out why I couldn't get my fucking transcript after weeks upon weeks of being directed to different people about it. I regret going there immensely. Complete waste of time and money. Are you currently frustrated with someone? I'm really frustrated at myself. Do you drink water or soda more often? I'm actually not sure... Do you straighten your hair? No. When did you last talk to your brother or sister? One, not since Christmas, and the younger, a few days ago. All my half-siblings have been forever, and one I've never spoken to. What is your least favorite vegetable? Probably asparagus. Or beans. Outside of family, name 3 people that make you smile/laugh often. Sara, Mark, Shane Dawson. In school, what subjects did you achieve your highest grades in? English or art, idr. Was there a subject that you enjoyed, but weren’t too good at? No. When was the last time something didn’t go to plan? What happened? Being into what's called "vulture culture" now (at least to a certain degree), I searched for quite a while for the bones of the very first opossum I photographed (I have a photography "series" focused on exposing the horror of roadkill to hopefully influence people to be more careful and vigilant), but despite thorough searching, I couldn't find it. Gruesome, but Mom speculated the remains were destroyed by whoever mows the grass there. Do you have any children? If not, at what age do you think you’ll feel ready to be a parent? No, and never. When was the last time you bought a new item of clothing? Describe it. Uhhh. I seriously have no clue. Maybe some underwear months ago. Was your last Facebook friend request from a male or female? Idk who the last person was. Do you have an item of clothing that makes you feel especially beautiful? Describe it. No. Think of the last person that betrayed you. If they said they were sorry, would you forgive them? I can literally almost guarantee Colleen shared our whole goddamn conversation and shit on Facebook after our last talk, as she did the first time too. Too many times our business became everyone's. I'd forgive her, but I refuse to ever be friends again. Nastiest thing you've ever done? I hate talking about this, but okay. When I was deep into my suicidal depression phase, I had a hard time brushing my teeth as needed. Like... I wouldn't for days. I avoided brushing my hair as long as I could too. Anyone who doesn't believe in how deeply depression is capable of chaining you down and making vital things almost impossible, go get fucking educated. Have you ever been in a lighthouse? No. What color is your shower? White. Where do you order your pizza from? Ideally Domino's, but sometimes Little Caesar's. When is the last time you had a serious talk with someone? Yesterday. Do you find that you have a certain meal you eat every time you go to certain restaurants? Oh yes. I rarely try something new. What color is your bike? N/A What word can you not stand to hear people say? The “n” word. What room of your house are you in? My bedroom. What is the temperature in your city right now? Apparently 38 F. When did you last use a post-it-note? No idea. Would you ever want to own your own restaurant? No. Do you have a fan in your bedroom? I have three lmao. My room is unbearable in the summer. Who is the last person that you took a picture with? Sara. When is the last time you were stuck in a fairly long traffic jam? A couple months or so back when there was an accident. Do you have certain friends that you hug every time you see them? All my friends. When was your most recent trip to an aquarium? 2016 visit to the beach. We went to the aquarium there and it absolutely sucked. What do you like in your salads and what dressing do you prefer? Just lettuce (but I can also handle cucumbers) and the Olive Garden dressing. If it has one, do you ever use the notepad function in your phone? Occasionally. Rn I have tattoo ideas written in it. Surprised? How good would you say your memory is? Absolutely horrible, lately worse than ever. I worry about it quite a bit. About how many times during the night do you wake up from your sleep? Once or twice. Are there any air fresheners in your house? What kinds? Not currently on or anything. What’s one thing you’re glad you’ve done recently? Improved on picking up the phone when I don't know the number. Have you ever done something sexual that you regret? Well, I've talked about flirting with my friend's bf as a pre-teen, and it wasn't always innocent, if you count that as "sexual." I regret the hell out of it. Do you like to sit in the sun and tan when it’s hot out? NO. Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? Yes, Tyler. I wasn't like, terrified, but preeeetty uncomfortable. Can you drive, and if you can, do you like it? I can, but I'm not that great, and I absolutely hate it. Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? Yes. Do you like french fries? Hell yeah. Have you ever eaten so much you puked? No. Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? People whose opinions I care about. Would you rather go to Greece or France? Probably Greece.

[4evereclare]

Scattered thoughts on Degrassi Next Class Season 4

Is anyone even active in the DTC these days? 

It’s been a while for me so I thought I’d share my general thoughts from this current season.

Episode 1: Esme is a jerk. Wasn't a fan before, still not a fan now. She did have a point about the art project though. I wasn't following why her painting was more inappropriate than Zig's. But she trashed Saad and deliberately turned Zig's anger toward him for absolutely no reason. What a snake. Love the friendship btween Lola and Yael. Overall the episode was a gentle ease-in to the season, I guess.

Episode 2: Saad is really growing on me. The subtleties of the actor's delivery really draw me in and make me root for him. As far as Esme, Frankie, Shay...man it never ceases to amaze how many dumbass decisions these Degrassi kids make. Haha at least Shay came to her senses early. And how about our girl Lola - at this point she's the smartest chick in her group. Who saw that one coming?! I'm so glad she dropped the dumb girl act. She's badass now.

Episode 3: Lmao Miles got into Queens University for business and he's gone to like 4 classes throughout his high school career. Guess he'll be valedictorian a la Fiona Coyne? On a side note, Eric Osborne continues to be amazing - if you'd told me in season 13 that he would become one of the best actors on the show, I would've raised my eyebrows at you. But omg he is brilliant. My heart broke when he stepped back in English class on the abuse question. Also I already love that English teacher (Mr. Mitchell?). Goldi is so freaking hilarious. Her and Winston's friendship is adorable.

Episode 4: I love Goldi's prom theme! Am I the only one who wants to try those cool dessert dishes she and Winston were trying? The rest of the plot is so heavy because it's so relatable these days..

Episode 5: This episode is so insightful regarding the whole islamophobia issue, but I can't shake the feeling that there are a lot of missed nuances. I guess this is a valiant effort though. Saad's online communication with that possibly radical dude is a really good touch. Feels scary.

Episode 6: Craig Manning appearance?!  OMFGGGGG I died the entire scene. Olivia has the voice of a fucking angel and I can't deal. I love how you could see Jake Epstein viscerally reacting to her performance. Also, all the songs they write for Maya are gorgeous. Literally the opposite of the nails-on-a-chalkboard memory of the Jenna Middleton repertoire. Jess Tyler is great but I could never stand any of the Jenna songs. Yael's new look is way better than that Velma Dinkley-looking style she was rocking before tbh. She looks adorable now. But honestly she can"t expect Hunter to just immediately hop on board. It is what it is, and he's allowed to have a confused reaction, I think.

Episode 7: Esme truly is an asshole. She reminds me of an ex-friend of mine. Just because you're damaged doesn't give you the right to be manipulative and toxic ALL. The. Fucking. Time. I love Shay and Tiny but I actually thought they would keep Shay a virgin through grad. I have no problem with most of the characters having sex but she just seemed like one who would wait until college. Oh well.

Episode 8: Lol Hunter, you're prejudging someone for being dangerous when you almost shot up the damn school? (OT: but damn Spencer, you’re hot AF) Can Baaz go one episode without pissing me off when he opens his mouth? He's such a gnat. Tiny's promposal was so fun! I love that Lola and Frankie were part of it, but wasn't Jonah dancing alongside Frankie kind of odd??? They're not exactly on good terms. Triles is breaking my heart. I can see Tris is trying to do what he thinks is best for Miles. But fuckkkkk STOPPP. Their chemistry is still off the charts.

Episode 9: I know we're supposed to feel bad for Esme but I really don't. I have never felt one smidgen of understanding. The writers have vaguely told us she has a messed up past but all they've mostly shown us is how manipulative and selfish she is. Idgaf how messed up your past is, you don't get a free pass for being toxic. I feel like she triggers me in a way because of toxic friends from my past. Nice closure with Miles and his dad. And the sweet moment with him and Tris in Tristan’s room made me tear up. I have mixed feelings about Yael narc-ing on Saad. They didn't really show the extent of the texts with the radical dude so I'm not clear on how far they went to incriminating him. Lmao someone bring Esme some fake tears. Her eyes are always dry like the desert even when she's supposedly bawling.

Episode 10:

Lmao is Grace high? The way she laughs about how Zoe Rivas turned out to be Maya's cyberbully...ummmmm...? Haha not actually hilarious? But wow - reminds me how Zoe was such a bitch before. Grace and Maya are so cute together though. Also, Zoe's mom sending her birth certificate and passport and not showing up is so cold. But I always knew she was trash. She never came off as a sincere caring parent, more like a bitchy stage mom. I am sort of glad they ended Zoe’s story this way. Some of us don’t get a happily ever after with our shitty parents, so it’s good that they showed this as a scenario.

It was weird that  Yael was in charge of herding the graduates. Degrassi does some of the most nonsensical shit. And once again they hold grad the morning after prom. Does any school ever do this? It's been a while since I graduated but it all seems strange to me.

Also, do schools announce what university each graduate is attending? Isn't that shaming to people who aren't going to uni? And what the fuck is an honorary high school diploma? Did Tris graduate or are they just putting him through?

That montage at the end was perfect and made me bawl. I cannot believe the niners from season 11 are done! 😭

(I hate to say it but it sort of feels like my ties to the show are gone now. I’ll still watch though.)

[tenalv-blog]

“ i said that !! the problem is i said it with mexican accent, again !  ” 

I THOUGHT I WOULD BE BRIEF BUT I GOT TOO INTO THIS AND WENT OVERBOARD !! casually ignoring that..... i’m k8 and this is basically a far too long rundown of antisocial’s babysitter tenoch alverado ! honestly if you’re lazy like i am just like this post for plots and i’ll message u with an abridged version of teno’s entire life story, lmao. anyway............

[ diego luna, cis male ] - did you know tenoch alverado is back in town ? i’ve heard that the thirty four year old has been gone for seven years and used to be known as the taciturn. now people call them the apotropaic but they’re still old-fashioned and giving as usual. right now they’re busy as a touring security guard and technician for antisocial but i hope we have time to catch up !

in the BEGINNING...

firstly if u recognise his name then yes i did name him after diego’s character in y tu mama tambien bc i’m VERY subtle

tenoch is a big pile of mussed hair and big smiles born and raised mexico with his ma !

he didn’t really know his dad; his parents divorced before he was born so it was mostly just him and his mom in mexico, whilst his dad lived somewhere across the border in america.

he never met him, nor did he visit, but honestly he wouldn’t blame him - he and his mom were attached at the hip, and sometimes even he was scared to walk down the street alone in his own hometown.

but no hard feelings ! he wasn’t really bothered by it, and it wasn’t like his dad was some horrible criminal that his mom had to break up with, and he’d send monthly childcare checks to help ( which his ma taught him to be grateful for, despite not really knowing the guy ), so it really wasn’t too bad !

and to make up for it, he and his mom were just closer than ever !! they were all each other had, so tenoch was always helping her around the house and even working after school to make some extra money, how pure

there was some kind of dissonance though. tenoch didn’t know what it was but he could feel it. like their humble, half broken but functional home felt a little too empty, how he never seemed to hold a friend, the pit in his stomach when police just strolled around his hometown, he grew up with a certain unsettlement - broken house broken home, he was always waiting for something worse to happen.

and he figured out from a young age that the best way to deal with that was to tread lightly - having acquaintances, not friends, playing football but never joining the team - he became the polite little boy next door that everyone liked, but didn’t seem to actually know that much about.

maybe when he’s older and he’s looking back on his childhood he’d realise it was stupid of him not to put himself out there, but he never got a chance to do that, because the dissonance ?? it’s here.

( TW; DEATH ) he’s fifteen when the police show up on his door to tell him that his mom’s been killed. he honestly can’t remember how - his brain has blocked the memory out, and he has absolutely no interest in trying to read between the lines of a death certificate, shoved somewhere deep below custody papers and junk mail - but he’s displaced.

and then he meets his father for the first time.

he remembers very clearly what it was like sleeping with child protective services, but even more so the first time he meets his father at the airport, his hand motioning him towards the gate, ready to take him to his so called home. 

putting a hispanic kid in the middle of rural white america in a suburban house, mind you with a living room the size of his entire home in mexico, never worked out well. his polite resolve was breaking, but nothing made him want to keep the façade up than the sterile politeness of his own father ( maybe that’s where he got it from ).

so he kinda started switching ?? it was hard when he barely spoke english, but he chose his moods inside and outside the house, brooding and shy at his high school and keeping up with polite appearances at the dinner table.

the only way he could let himself breathe and fuck about, expelling his pent up frustration and grief through a multitude of spanish curses, was to drive out of his town somewhere remote at night and sleep in his secondhand van out by a lake or the woods.

it’s just a wash and dry cycle of the above with some underaged drinking and smoking inbetween that pulls him through high school. he graduates with an average gpa, but he knows immediately that he doesn’t want to go to college - his english keeps him afloat in social situations but he wouldn’t let himself be put through the wringer again, especially when he knew he could just get a job immediately. that had always been the plan before his dad swooped in with the money, so why change ?

maybe his dad had a change of heart ever since he got remarried, but he was actually okay with it - their problem didn’t seem to be a hatred or regret, but rather an awkward unknowing of what to say, what to do. so he let tenoch take the van anywhere, so long as he got a job and called every once in a while.

and he actually does alright ! with all his time alone with the van and being the stereotypical shy kid as part of the theater techies crew, he bounces around various handyman, janitorial, repairman jobs, because to be quite honest - outside of every boy’s dream to be a footballer, tenoch didn’t have anything after that. but he makes his own fun - his mom’s optimism had always stayed in his psyche; it’d just been buried throughout his stay with his dad, and soon the old, friendly tenoch comes back !!

and then came ANTISOCIAL...

tenoch is on one of his regular cathartic drives when he stumbles upon a group of rapscallions on the side of the road with their thumbs out, and honestly ?? with a big van like his, he absolutely had to stop 

he drives them back to the city, and through a lot of explanation, he learns that they’re musicians in a band and they’re playing a proper concert where he lived !!

tenoch didn’t know muchabout music ( re: absolutely anything ) , but he went to the show anyway to make the guys feel welcome, standing at the back of the crowd with a beer in his hand, nodding his head to the music, clapping them on the back afterwards, buying them drinks - just being a big ol’ cheese ball

they end up staying at his apartment, and as he runs to buy extra pillows and blankets, he comes back to find that they want him to tour with them ?? 

and he, for once in his life, says fuck it !! it’s a paying job, he gets to travel, feel young, and maybe find a reason to embrace america, why the fuck not !?

his job jumps around from place to place - he starts off as a driver, until the band got big enough to have an actual tour bus that tenoch had absolutely no idea how to drive, but to keep him on tour river started insisting he was a bodyguard ?? has river seen his scrawny ass body ??

tenoch being stubborn as hell wasn’t going to get paid for a fake job, so he started helping with stage setup and putting those rusty high school theater crew skills to use and started training as a lighting technician, so take that, river

and thus dubbed him the proud mom and ‘ adult ’ voice of reason in the band, watching them grow and helping them with ( or get out of, most of the time ) various unthinkable shenanigans, and it is then that he, for once since he ever crossed the border, felt at home.

back at ASTON...

whenever tour drops off and the band’s recording, tenoch becomes a hobo basically, and goes back to janitorial work just to keep his hands busy. it sounds shit, but he actually likes fixing things and meeting clueless elderly who don’t know how to work their television?? he’s that kinda dreamy maintenance guy. except for those racist grandmas - they can go fuck right off

so right now, he’s just kinda bouncing around and working as a door to door repairman whenever river doesn’t drag him out of his apartment to go accompany him to concerts or something  “ i’m not your fuckin’ bodyguard, river ! ”

he’s also absolutely ecstatic about being a beach town. he loves the beach guys.... he’d totally be a surfer dude if he could surf, so he’s got a permanent tan and burnt nose

so really he’s just chillin’ ! just being a mom to four lil rebels in a band and happily fixing your leaky faucet, so he’s on the up and up !

and that’s finally it !! in terms of potential connections i don’t have anything particular in mind apart from the occasional client ( sounds scandalous, in reality he’s just unclogging your toilet ) or drunken hookup, so if you want just like this post and i’ll message you to talk plots or any other ideas you may have, but that’s it !! 

[alanakusumas]

bananas foster, glazed donut, pumpkin pie, lemon tart, chocolate mousse, and creme brûlée 😆

thanks lana!! ✨

Ask me a dessert!

bananas foster: do you believe in soulmates?yes, but in both romantic and platonic ways!!  i define soulmates as people you just *click* with and end up staying connected to

glazed donut: would you rather visit a zoo or an aquarium?definitely an aquarium!!  i’m not a big fan of being outdoors for too long, plus i’ve never been so it would be an exciting adventure for me!

pumpkin pie: what were your interests as a child?i fuckin loved puzzles man….i had a whole shelf filled with puzzles and my mom and i would solve them together.  i also loved to write about anything i could think of (mostly fairytales about princesses running it up in this bitch).  i was a big journal keeper lmao but life got in the way!! 

lemon tart: how many languages can you speak?2 1/2 - cantonese, english, and a bit of french!!  i have the certification which qualifies me to be considered bilingual (i’m from canada) but the school system is kind of ass so i didn’t learn much lmao.  i know enough to be a competent tourist!

chocolate mousse: how is your relationship with your parents?don’t get me wrong - i love them both.  but there are some topics that we just don’t agree with and that creates a wedge between us.  it can get pretty toxic, which i why i prefer living away from them, but i enjoy spending time when i go home (only for a few days, that’s the most i can handle :p)

creme brûlée: describe your stylei like to dress in two styles: androgynous - eg. collared shirt, dressy joggers, slip-ons; or basic insta baddie - bodycon tops that show skin, super skinny pants, booties/heels with a fancy overcoat