#never deastiel
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Rewatching supernatural is so surreal. Like conceptually I KNOW where this ends. I KNOW Castiel revokes thousands if not millions of years of faith for this man whose only framework for love is being willing to sacrifice yourself. I’ve met the monster at the end of this book.
Even so, I’m absolutely floored every single time I’m reminded that Cas confided in Dean that he has doubts in literally the 2nd episode they interact. It’s just insane to me because yes, he likely has known of him all his life, but still, you never know how someone is going to react in a situation until they’re well and truly in it.
Cas knows about Anna, about Lucifer, about the fate of every angel who has dared to even think about disobedience. And STILL he sees this soul that he raised from the pit. Broken and tired and flawed and basically the poster boy for disbelief. A man that didn’t hesitate before shortening his name to “Cas”, separating him from God. (the suffix -iel means “of God”)
And he decides “yes, this is someone I can trust with a secret that could very well get me killed”
They make me sick to my stomach in the best way.
#not Atla#i’ll never be over them#ill never be okay about this#it’s fine#destiel#deancas#deastiel#dean winchester#dean x castiel#Castiel#castiel loves dean winchester#supernatural#supernatural season 4#Lazarus rising#lucifer supernatural#anna supernatural#dean winchester is saved
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Screw it, I’m bringing the destiel version of “Hallelujah” back I don’t care
I heard your prayers from far below,
But down in hell- how could you know?
I listened to every word you said, I heard you
But after this I plead the fifth
Before my fall, after your lift
I swore I heard you say that “hallelujah”
I know you’re strong but I can’t explain
I’ve seen you die over again
Only you would still want to pray to me
She tied me up where angels fall
She made me deaf to all your calls
And from my lips she drew our “hallelujah”
“Righteous man”, that’s what they said
But still you’d lie awake in bed
And listen to the shadows, knife clutched tightly.
But once sleep came it could not kill
The fears on which your skin would chill
Those nights I wish I’d sang a “hallelujah”
There was a time when I couldn’t say
What truly had led me astray
But now I understand what pushed me from grace
It was your breath, your eyes, your face,
Your courage drove to the sticking place
And there- I fell all for your hallelujah
Maybe there’s a god above
Through you he tried to teach me love
A long and winding road that led me to you
Don’t think that I’ve abandoned hope
Still I hang on to this rope
And I won’t let go ‘till I find our hallelujah
The original poster recently took it down but it has been posted by others since
youtube
#destiel#deancas#deastiel#hallelujah#plead the fifth#fan song#I’ll never be over them#and I won’t let this die either#dean winchester#Castiel#castiel novak#supernatural#supernatural angels#naomi supernatural#Youtube
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Fan Fiction: Part Two
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~2.3k
Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst
Summary: Not only did Chuck write books about your lives, but a damn musical theater is putting a play on about your goddamn lives. You try to let them handle this one on their own but they're not letting you go, and it's time to bring insurance to make sure you never leave them.
Season Ten Masterlist
Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3
x
You roll your eyes but do as you're told, and Dean grabs your arm when you join his side. He practically drags you outside and back to the car with his brother following.
"You need to be on better behavior. You came here to do a job, so do your damn job."
"No, you came here to do a job," you say and yank your arm out of Dean's grasp. "I just tagged along to see what kind of mess you two would get yourselves into and right now, I'm not impressed."
Sam steps in as the mediator before you and Dean get into a physical fight.
"Help me understand something. Shouldn't it be Deastiel?" Sam asks.
"Really? That's your issue with all this?"
"What the hell are you talking about?" you ask.
"Dean and Cas' lover's name," Sam smirks.
"Thanks for telling her. Because I don't already have enough shit to deal with."
"How about Sastiel?" you grin and look at Sam.
"I think it would be Samstiel."
"Okay, you two are gonna do that thing where you shut the hell up forever."
"Look, man, there are no EMF or hex bags," Sam chuckles. "None of the props are even remotely funky. Other than the Charlie Kaufman of it all, I got nothing. What about you?"
"In Ms. Chandler's office, there's just a pile of empty bottles and regret. She's just probably face-down in a bar, somewhere. So, what? This whole musical thing and everything is a coincidence? That there is no case?"
"Unless you're seeing something I'm not, no, Dean. There isn't a case here."
"Okay."
"What about CasDean?"
"Shut the fuck up and get in the car!" Dean barks.
You and Sam snicker before following suit. Sam thinks this isn't a case while you and Dean aren't too sure and tomorrow morning, you get your answer. There has been another disappearance, and it's the girl who plays Sam. She didn't want to do the play in the first place, and she just disappeared according to Marie. You and the brothers head back to the auditorium to talk to her. Dean talks to the principal while Sam talks to the police while you just stand off to the side with a bored look on your face.
"So, I checked with the principal. There's nothing on the surveillance tapes," Dean says when he regroups. "What did the cops say?"
"The only clue they found was a flower by the dumpster. The same flower that was found near Ms. Chandler's phone." He shows you and Dean the flower. "Do you recognize it?"
"No."
"Yeah, me either."
You three walk to the back where Marie and Maeve are. Marie is shaken up from what she saw last night.
"Hey," Sam says.
"Let me guess. Did you guys come here to laugh at me, too?"
"Probably," you shrug and Dean shoves you away.
"Why don't you tell us what happened to your friend."
"Maggie quit the show. She was trying to get it shut down, so we were fighting. Then, she left and I heard her scream. I ran outside to help and I saw a scarecrow. It looked just like the one from our show but alive."
"What happened next?"
"It wrapped her in vines and took her behind the dumpster. Then, they were both just gone. I called the cops and a bunch of adults just told me I have an overactive imagination. It's all real. Ghosts, angels, and demons."
You laugh at her statement and Sam slaps your arm to get you to stop.
"I wanna believe," Maeve shrugs.
Sam and Dean look at each other in thought. Dean nods once and Sam turns to the girls.
"You should believe. You both should because it is all real and so are we. I'm Sam Winchester, that's Dean, and that's Y/N."
Marie and Maeve look at each other to process the news before they both bust out laughing as if they don't believe you.
"If I had my magic, I'd really give you something to laugh about," you glare.
"Okay, I'm willing to accept that monsters are real but those books are works of fiction."
"Plus, you three are way too old to be Sam, Dean, and Y/N. Maybe a Jody/Bobby/Rufus combo," Maeve says.
"I'm gonna kill them," you say and Dean immediately shuts that down.
"Alright, Little Miss Sunshine. We are what the books call hunters."
"You guys are X-Files?"
"Sure, you can say that. So, this scarecrow from your musical is based on something from the book?"
"No, I changed it. I got scared of a local legend when I was a kid. There was this old creepy scarecrow on an abandoned farm outside of town. Kids used to say that if it caught you, it would take you away."
"Okay, if this scarecrow is based on your version, then Ms. Chandler and Maggie might still be alive."
"You think the scarecrow was created by the play?" Maeve asks.
"You think it's a Tulpa?" Marie gasps.
"Where's the library?" Dean asks.
Marie and Maeve take you and the brothers to the library so they can do research on what a Tulpa is. There is a section for the weird and freaky that Sam heads to. You're so fucking bored so you're not invested in whatever they're doing. You're looking at the books on the shelves as the four of them sit at one of the library tables to read Sam's book.
"Tulpas are monsters that are created by an intense, focused energy on an idea or a story," Sam explains.
"Ugh, I want to go home," you groan loudly.
"How do you kill an idea?" Maeve asks.
"Well, in Hell House, Sam, Dean, and Y/N burnt the house down to take out the one tulpa they hunted," Marie explains.
"Yeah, if you kill the symbol, you kill the tulpa. It's a pretty good place to start. Is this scarecrow of yours a person or a prop?"
"Prop, and it's terrifying. We keep it in the boiler room."
"Can you guys give us a second? Just read up on this." Sam and Dean join your side by the bookshelf while the two girls read about the monster. "Okay, this doesn't add up. Tulpas require a ton of psychic energy to juice up. It's not like the Supernatural books are tearing up the New York Times best-seller list. I seriously doubt this play has even sold out."
"I hope not," Dean shudders.
"You know what?" Sam digs for the picture of the flower from his jacket pocket. "I've seen this flower in the lore somewhere. There's gotta be a connection."
"Or," you drawl out, "we can leave and let them fend for themselves."
"Watch it," Dean growls.
"Fine, I am more than happy to let you handle this while I go off to the nearest beach to get a tan."
"No, you're staying here with us. Come on." Dean drags you to Marie who looks up at you two. "Can you show us the boiler room?"
"Sure."
Marie does as she's told and brings you to the boiler room. There isn't much inside here except for something small underneath a drop cloth. Marie looks as if the thing will come to life and bite her, she's that terrified.
"Prepare yourselves. It's horrifying," Marie shudders.
Dean grabs the end of the cloth and yanks it off the scarecrow. You expected to see something horrifying with sharp teeth, blood, and guts over it. Instead, it's a fucking joke. Both eyes are buttons that have been poorly sewn on, one red and one blue. The mouth is just a thread that's been criss-crossed over one another.
"Are you fucking kidding me? This is the scarecrow you're so fucking scared of? What, is the Easter Bunny gonna come out and attack us?" you ask sarcastically.
"Y/N," Dean warns.
"No, this is fucking dumb! This whole play is fucking dumb. Books should have never been written about our lives because of dumb shit like this." You look at Marie with an unapologetic look on your face. "No offense, but this play fucking sucks."
"Excuse us," Dean says nervously. He grabs your arm tightly and drags you out of the boiler room. When the door closes, you yank your arm away from him. "You need to cut this shit right now."
"Or what?" You step closer to Dean in defiance. "What power do you have over me? You're not a demon anymore. You're weak as shit. Don't think for one second that you can control what I do. I'm not your bitch anymore."
Dean takes a step closer to you so your toes are touching.
"I will not hesitate to lock you up in the dungeon and keep you there until your soul is restored."
You tip your head back and laugh loudly.
"It's about fucking time you figured it out."
"You knew?"
"Of course, I knew. I knew the second I woke up."
"It doesn't matter because you need to put a cork in it. Don't speak unless spoken to."
Dean turns on his heels and walks back into the boiler room alone. Don't speak unless spoken to. Who the fuck does he think he's talking to? Once Dean and Marie are done in the boiler room, the three of you head back to the library where Sam and Maeve are. Marie is so happy that she pulls Dean in for a hug whether he wants one or not.
"Thank you!"
"It's not a Tulpa," Sam halts the celebration.
"What?"
"It's Calliope, the goddess of epic poetry. She's associated with the borage or starflower. That's the picture."
Sam shows a picture of the flower which resembles the flower that was at both disappearances.
"Wait, if this is a God thing, what's with the scarecrow?"
"According to the lore, Calliope manifests creatures from the story she's tuned into."
"So, the scarecrow is alive, and we burned my prop for nothing?" Marie asks Dean.
"Oh, that thing needed to burn."
"The only way to destroy the scarecrow is to kill Calliope. She uses these manifestations, like the scarecrow, to inspire the author and protect them until their vision is realized."
"Then what?"
"She eats the author," Sam winces.
"Okay, that's bad," Marie gasps.
"Is it?" you ask. "Something interesting should happen because it's not this play."
"Were you spoken to?" Dean glares at you. "If not, shut the hell up. Go sit in time out."
If looks could kill, Dean would be dead. Still, you leave the group and sit down in an uncomfortable library chair.
"Well, you get your wish," Marie says to you. "Let's cancel the show."
"That's what your teacher and your classmate did. They tried to shut you down, and the scarecrow took them. She was protecting you and the show."
"So the scarecrow is the boogeyman? We need to take our shot with Calliope, but she won't come out until your vision is realized."
"What are you saying?" Marie asks.
"The show must go on!"
"Okay," you say and stand up, "I'm not staying here anymore. You two have fun."
You turn and leave the library. You're not sure where you're going to go but you need to get the hell out of here. You'll take a cab or an Uber to somewhere that's not here. Sam and Dean excuse themselves and immediately follow you outside to the desolate parking lot.
"You're not leaving!" Dean barks.
You immediately stop and turn to him, which causes Sam and Dean to stop in their tracks.
"What are you going to do about it? Why should I care about hunting something and saving people when I don't give a fuck about their lives? Seriously, I'd rather watch this play burn down to the ground with everyone in it. In fact, I might just grab a box of matches and light the place up myself." Dean and Sam look at each other to have a silent conversation with their eyes. "That's what I thought."
You turn and walk away from them, not hearing the light steps of Dean. He grabs you from around the waist and sticks something into your neck. You feel a sharp pinch underneath your ear and hiss in pain. You shove Dean off you and turn to him while touching the side of your neck. There is something metal sticking into your skin, and no matter how much you pick at it, it's not coming out.
"What the fuck did you do to me?"
Dean holds up an old-looking remote that he no doubt got from the Bunker. Sam walks behind you but your eyes are glued onto the remote in his hand.
"If you misbehave, talk shit, or do anything that isn't helping, I'm going to shock you into behaving. Trust me, I got this from the Bunker. It hurts like a fucking bitch."
"You're bluffing," you call him out. "I bet that thing isn't even turned on."
Dean shrugs and presses the button. Almost immediately, shocks stem from the device to your entire body. Your body goes rigid and you fall back into Sam who catches you easily. You clench your jaw in pain and stare at Dean who walks closer to you with a smirk. The shock is so painful that you can't even speak. He waits three seconds before turning it off, and your body goes limp. You find whatever strength you have left and shove yourself off Sam who steps back from you.
"I'm more than happy to press this all day long if you want. Or you can march your ass back inside and help us kill this thing. Your choice, sweetheart." You walk closer to Dean with a death glare on your face. With lightning speed, you reach up to grab the remote, but he's quicker than you are. He tosses the remote to Sam who catches it easily. "You might be able to take one of us on but not both. Go ahead and try. All it takes is one press of the button and you're done."
You have no choice but to do as they say... for now. You storm back inside the building but the brothers stay outside.
"What kind of trouble is waiting for us when we take that thing off her neck?" Sam asks and hands the remote back to Dean.
"It's only until her soul is pure so we can shove it back inside her. Come on," Dean sighs.
x
Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)
#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester fic#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester fanfic#dean winchester angst#supernatural#supernatural fic#supernatural fanfiction#supernatural fanfic#supernatural angst#spn#supernatural series rewrite#supernatural season 10
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Drabble: Hidden Temptation
Dean Winchester, the epitome of strength and resilience, had a secret—one that he had kept hidden from the world. It was a desire that consumed him, whispered in the darkest corners of his mind. And you, unbeknownst to him, held the power to awaken that temptation.
One evening, as the hunter focused on sharpening his weapons, you entered the room, your presence silently stealing Dean's attention as he heard your light footsteps coming closer and closer.
A magnetic pull drew him towards you, an unexplainable connection that left him yearning for your touch.
But you were oblivious to the effect you had on Dean. Your innocence and genuine affection captivated him, your every word and gesture igniting a fire deep within his soul. The very touch of yours corrupted his thoughts, stirring desires that he never thought he would succumb to.
As you moved closer, unaware of the turmoil inside Dean, a surge of longing washed over him. He fought to maintain his composure, his walls crumbling under the weight of his forbidden desire. He ached to hold you, to confess the depths of his affection, but the fear of tarnishing their bond held him captive.
"Hey, Dean," You greeted, your voice pulling him from his turbulent thoughts. "I brought you some coffee."
Dean tore his gaze away, blinking back the intensity of his emotions, hoping you didn't see them. "Thanks," he managed, his voice strained, the internal battle raging within him.
Your fingers brushed against his lightly as you handed him the coffee cup, and in that fleeting contact, Dean felt his self-control slip. The warmth of your touch seared through his veins, sparking a longing that threatened to consume him entirely.
As you moved away, Dean clenched his jaw, desperately trying to suppress the desires that clawed at him. He knew he couldn't give in, couldn't risk jeopardizing the purity of their connection. But with each passing day, the struggle grew more unbearable.
Alone once again, Dean sank into the chair, his mind clouded with conflicting emotions. The temptation to confess his forbidden longing was overwhelming, and he wondered if he could resist the allure of your touch any longer.
For now, he chose to bury his desires deep within, shielding you from the darkness that simmered beneath his surface. But the battle within him waged on, the very sense of you forever etching itself into his heart, promising a future filled with forbidden passion and the ever-present risk of corruption.
*I just quickly went through your blog and saw that post about deastiel's 'your very touch corrupts' and damn that made me feel things. Hope you liked this ☺*
Aww, beautiful, thank you!! Poor Dean, absolutely beating himself up. Love that you used the quote ❤️
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alt for image: Deastiel Alert meme. At the top is Castiel saying "I love you". At the bottom is Dean saying "QUIT FUCKING DOOMSCROLLING. We're probably going to hear the results of this stupid election until like Thursday, and when we do, this meme isn't going to tell you whether or not the world is ending. If it's Harris, don't become complacent. If it's Trump, DO NOT let defeatism consume you. Just vote, and if you have, don't glue yourself to media outlets until they tell you whether or not it's okay to stop panicking. They will NEVER tell you that - panic is how they get their ad revenue. Panicking isn't your civic duty. Panicking does not give you the ability to see the future. My dad had a stroke from binge-watching MSNBC and freaking out. panicking will kill you more effectively than any politician ever will.
If you've already voted, your job today is to survive. Not survive the hypothetical apocalypse in the future, but to survive the literal fucking stroke that the media is trying to give you to turn a profit. Whatever happens, keep fighting, keep living, keep loving. Have some tea. Watch a movie. Pet a dog and/or cat. We fucking got this.
Also I love you too, hotcakes." /End ID
Also adding the US mental health crisis line to this post. If you or someone you love is struggling, call 988! You are loved and matter!
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Wait hold on was the dabi thing really confirmed on November 5th. Was last year really that crazy or was the supernatural ship that I can't spell that big of a deal that it just overtook my dash.
#my hero academia#dabi#boku no hero manga#boku no hero academia#bnha#mha#mha dabi#supernatural#i've never seen supernatural so forgive me#deastiel#is that how you spell it?#i just follow tumblr user heritageposts and am given knowledge about supernatural against my will
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Dean did you service king Oberon of the fairies has the same energy as did you fuck the Michael sword Castiel (I keep hearing this in original Raphael’s voice) - then Cas’ reacts to that by how he reacted when Michael said, Castiel did you Molotov my brother (where he says I guess?)
hahahahah, gold. ykw i think more micro aggressions would've been the trick to getting together those idiots much sooner.
little brother sammy, i was rooting for you to mock the shit out of your brother and his schoolgirl-like crush on the dreamy angel </3
#im the young sibling in my fam but i never would. so maybe. it's fine that sam didn't tease dean.#lies. it's not fine. even if don't use my godgiven right SAM should have.#answered#'shouldn't it be deastiel' IS NOT ENOUGH
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wait???? that angel and his demon hunter???? weren’t already cannon??? i thought???
#watching fandom drama when you’ve never seen the show is WILD#supernatural#that one ship#deastiel#i think
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Part 1: “Words of Affirmation” Destiel Quotes & Parallels
I’m sure someone’s done this before me and done it better, but I’m compiling a huge Destiel evidence docket for no reason. Anyone got any quotes to add?
Comments From Outside Characters
To Dean
Uriel: “He has this weakness. He likes you.” (4x10)
Balthazar: “You have me confused with the other angel. You know, the one in the dirty trench coat who’s in love with you.” (6x17)
Hester: “The first time Castiel laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost.” (7x21)
Meg: “He was your boyfriend first.” (7x23)
Charlie: “What about Castiel? He seems helpful. And dreamy.” (8x20)
Marie: “Although we do explore the nature of Destiel in Act 2.” (10x5)
Sam: “Shouldn’t it be Deastiel?” He then goes on to tease Dean with “Sastiel” which Dean takes negatively. (10x5)
Dean: “This Cas is looking at me weird.” Sam: “So like the real Cas then.” (15x14)
To Castiel
Hannah: “We gave you our trust. Don’t lose it over one man.” (9x22)
Metatron: “His true weakness is revealed. He’s in love…with humanity.” (9x22)
Metatron: “Oh, that’s right. To save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but, ultimately, it was about saving one human, right?” (9x23)
Ishim: “I’m going to cure you of your human weakness [i.e. Dean]” (12x10)
The Empty: “I have tiptoed through all your little tulips. Your memories, your little feelings, yes. I know what you hate. I know who you love…There is nothing for you back there.” (13x4)
Demon: “I thought you were joined at the… (looks down) everything.” (14x01)
There are also several instances where other characters try to poke at insecurities regarding their relationship.
Naomi: “You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty. I only wish he felt the same way.” (8x19)
Casifer: “There comes a time when every relationship has run its course.” (11x18)
Michael!Dean: “You only tolerate the angel because you think you owe him, because he ‘gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition.’ Or whatever.” (14x10)
Comments From Dean
To Cas
“There are two things I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay. And two, you are not going to die a virgin.” (5x03)
“So what? I’m Thelma and you’re Louise and we’re just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?” (5x03)
“You know what? Blow me, Cas.” (5x18)
“Cas, not for nothing, but the last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid.” (5x18)
“Look, I don’t need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? For failing you like I’ve failed every other godforsaken thing that I care about! I don’t need it!” (8x07)
“We need you. I need you.”
For more on this quote see the “We vs. I” section.
To Other Characters
Bobby: “I think maybe it’s time you made a call.” Dean: “Why does it always gotta be me that makes the call, huh? It’s not like Cas lives in my ass. The dude’s busy.” (Cas appears) Dean: “Get out of my ass.” Cas: “I was never in your… (head tilt)” (6x19)
“On my car…. He showed up naked… covered in bees.” (7x23)
While Cas suffered from some mental issues at the time, it seems somewhat significant that he sought Dean out under the circumstances, not Sam, etc.
“There’s things… people… feelings that I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time.” (10x16)
“My shy but devastatingly handsome friend here” (12x12)
“He came into my room and he played me.” (12x19)
“Let’s see. Crowley’s dead, Kelly’s dead, Cas is—Mom’s gone.” (13x01)
Dean’s inability to list Cas’s death singles him out as the most devastating of the losses.
“We’ve lost everything. And now you’re gonna bring him back.” (13x01)
While some people have heard this as “bring ‘em back”, the Netflix captions and transcripts I have been able to find say “him.”
“And Cas bought it. And you know what it got him? It got him dead! Now you may be able to forget about that, but I can't!” (13x03)
“I have a family.” (In response to John Winchester lamenting Dean doesn’t have a wife and kids) (14x13)
Comments From Cas
To Dean
“I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. They feel I've begun to express emotions. The doorways to doubt.” (4x16)
“I’m hunted. I rebelled. And I did it—all of it—for you.” (5x02)
“I gave everything for you. And this is what you give to me.” (5x18)
“I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call.” (6x21)
“So you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord.” (6x22)
Before taking on the role of God, Cas seemed very concerned with Dean’s forgiveness/acceptance/love. It is interesting that, as God, that was the first thing he asked for, turning from Sam (who had just stabbed him) to Dean to ask for love.
“Sam, and everyone you know, everyone you love, they could be long dead. Everyone except me.” (10x22)
“I love you. I love all of you.” (Arguably to the group, but the first “I love you” can be seen as Dean-specific, especially since it cuts to Dean after being said.) (12x12)
“You mean too much to me. To everything.” (12x9) (To Mary, Sam, and Dean. However, the camera immediately cuts to Dean specifically, even though he is in the back of the group).
“I’m your Huckleberry.” (13x06)
Cas love confession (15x18)
To Other Characters
“Dean and I do share a more profound bond.” (6x03)
“I won’t hurt Dean.” (8x17)
This is said as Castiel is breaking away from Naomi’s mind control—mind control she fostered specifically by having Cas kill a thousand versions of Dean. This implies she knows that Cas’s strongest loyalty is to Dean, not Sam, or humans in general.
“The point is that they [Dean & Sam] were here at all and you got to know them, you -- When they're gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them.” (14x14)
“You know, Dean, he... he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known.” (15x13)
Other Comments
Reaper: “How do I start looking for this... Castiel?” Bartholomew: “I got one word for you. Winchester.”
Rowena: “An Angel of the Lord, shattered at the altar of Winchester.”
Use of We vs. I
In the crypt scene in Season 8, Dean tells Cas, “We need you.” This is not enough to stop Cas’s actions. When the language switches to “I need you,” Cas drops the angel blade.
We can clearly see that Dean tries to put up barriers about how he really feels about Cas in his use of “We.” For example, after showing the audience many scenes of Dean, not Sam, frantically trying to call Cas, we get the following lines:
“So not only were you ditching us, but you were also ignoring us?”
“With everything that's going on, you can't just go dark like that. We didn't know what happened to you. We were worried. That's not okay.”
It’s clear that these “we’s” are really “I’s”
In the alternate future presented in 15x9, Sam asks Dean, “What’s happened to you Dean… ever since…?” to which Dean responds, “Ever since what? We lost pretty much everyone we’ve ever cared about? Ever since the Mark made Cas go crazy and I had to bury him in a Malak box… ever since then?” While he acknowledges Sam’s losses as well, his switch to “I” in reference to Cas implies that Cas’s loss belongs especially to him.
(Mostly) Verbal Parallels to Other Couples
In 1x01 (start at 2:27), Dean pulls Sam away from a dead Jess in a direct parallel to how Sam pulls Dean away from Cas in 12x23
Following Jessica’s death, Sam keeps seeing glimpses of her as he and Dean travel around in the Impala. Dean does the same in Season 8 following his return from Purgatory without Cas.
David from “Bloodlines” (9x20) tells his love interest, “I was there. Where were you?” which is the same thing Dean says to Cas in “The Man Who Would Be King” (6x20)
When asking Dean whether he’s in love with Cassie, Dean gives a similar response to what he will say in 10x5 when asked about Destiel.
Destiel is paralleled with their counterparts from the Supernatural play who are “a couple in real life” (10x5)
Cain compares himself to Dean in Season 10. He describes the significant kills of his life (The Knights of Hell, his wife Collette, and his brother Abel) and tells Dean that he will follow his same pattern by killing the King of Hell Crowley, Castiel, then Sam. It is also mentioned that all Collette asked of Cain was “to stop,” which is the same language Cas uses with Dean in 10x22.
Dean explains how his parents fell in love to prove his identity to Mary in 12x1, “He was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed.” Later in this same season (12x19), Dean gives Cas a homemade mixtape of his favorite Zeppelin songs.
Ishim fell in love with a human named Lily Sunder who ultimately left him for someone else. When trying to recruit Castiel, he compares Dean to her.
Dean questions how much of their life has been controlled by God. Cas states, “You asked, ‘What about all of this is real?’ We are.” (15x02) Later, they find out that God has been using Eileen to spy on the Winchesters. She says, “After what happened, I don’t know what’s real anymore.” Sam kisses her, stating “I know that was real.” (15x09)
PART 2 “Physical Touch” Now Finished
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deastiel would never watch your western. they'll never quote your dialogues
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First, I'm just happy to know that you're both deastiel and daddycest/wincest shipper, since it's so hard to find someone like this in fandom nowdays. Second, about polar looks at John in fandom, I myself see that a lot of younger folks OR newer fans tend to paint John as exclusively bad guy, worse than satan, should rot in hell, etc. With people who both older and was in fandom back when show first aired, don't matter what they ship, I tend to see more nuanced opinions. (1/2)
It's not like I have something about younger/never fans of course. I just think that maybe if your fist impressions on John were then, when he was more morally grey and also you saw how he love his kids and they love him, it's kind of stuck with you. But maybe it's just my luck with corner of fandom I see? (2/2) Btw, about that episode with boys home — I just can't treat it as canon, it's completely ooc for me, and not because I think John was NOT as shit as father (but yes I actually think this). It's just that he so obsessed with ceep them both close, supervised, he needs Dean close to double supervise Sam, he hates when someone from outside interfere with his family etc. Like, I would get if he beat Dean for losing all money at cards etc (1/2) (I don't think he was like... phisically abusive all the time as fandom tends to say, but ok). But not this. Also it feels like milking simpathetic points for Dean and like, that one episode with lucky charms already did it and did better. Anyway, sorry for rant and of course it's all just my opinion and I understand that not everyone thinks like this! Sorry if it was too agressive! (2/2) Oh, and about canon and not canon, what's your opinion on John's diary? For me it's much more canon than seasons after 5 lol. But jokes aside, I think it's great piece of canon and make John much more deep without treting him as saint. I love how he promised hinself that "it's all will be over and Dean will have normal life like any day now, like, we should just suffer a little more, maybe week or month" for literally twenty years for example.
yes, it’s awesome to have a destiel friend! i’ve also been unsure of ~outing myself~ bc i know there’s a divide. but what if i want to write pervy destiel too lol???
i think your comment about the age of fans and their feelings about john is really plausible! i think those of us who watched during the original s1-s5 arc and were part of fandom know there just wasn’t the same kind of discourse. wank was a thing, but you tagged for wank and kept it aside, and now things have shifted and wank has been elevated to discourse and is very public. i don’t think that’s bad, but i think if you’re a newer fan coming into a fandom with 15 years worth of content to discourse about, a character like john really suffers because he’s got a very questionable background. obviously newer fans are probably entering with destiel already part of their awareness given the spn/destiel renaissance, so if a lot of anti-john stuff is living there, they’re gonna be exposed more immediately to it.
i agree john loves dean and sam, and dean and sam love john. i think you can love the thing that hurts you, though, and what i wish more than anything was that the show had leaned in more to the aftermath of john in dean and sam’s life, instead of sometimes making a vague allusion to abuse of any kind, and then flipping back to “wait, but we love john!” i appreciate the reunion episode for what it gives to sam and dean, but from a fan standpoint, it makes me want to tear out my hair. and don’t even get me started on john and mary happily together in heaven. have you read the poet!dean fic everyone goes on about? it really is quite lovely, and there’s so much incredible john stuff in it, in how dean feels about john, how he and sam feel.
i can see what you’re saying about the boys’ home situation, that it would make more sense for john to want dean close. i can also see john wanting dean to learn from his mistakes (getting caught, probably more than the stealing) and making him go. john did it multiple times, which is hard to think about. and I have to say, i disagree about this being a way to milk sympathy points for dean. i feel like we know so little about dean’s internal emotional life as a kid, given there’s only been a handful of episodes about life on the road with dad, and this is an episode that gives us an emotional look into that life. i like dean whump tho, so i could be biased lol. you are definitely not coming off as aggressive! i totally understand how you feel. i don’t agree on parts lol, but that’s okay!
as for john’s diary, i think it’s canon insomuch as you want it to be canon. i have it myself, and the pins that go inside of it, bc i have a lot of john feels lol. and i agree, it gives a great insight into john (and also dean--the fact that kid was MUTE for a while? makes me out of my goddamnn mind). i haven’t read through all of it yet, but yeah. i think it’s an official piece of merchandise for the show, and that if you want it to be canon, it CAN be. and if you don’t, then don’t.
thank you so much for the asks!!! i am always happy to chat <3
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No Deastiel
This last episode had ma crying. But not because they are in love with each other. The way I see it there is no such feeling between them. I mean yes of course they love each other just not this way. I know you guys will eat me alive after this but Deastiel to me is soo forced up, not natural. This ship kinda freaks me out and it makes me so uncomfortable because there is no chemisty between them in my opinion. I feel a little unfair that these little things indicating it, were sneaked in to the show. I never wanted supernatural to go this direction it didn't feel right to me. I wanted to add that I am not against gay relationships or any relationshipthes. People should thave the right to love whoever they want to and not be judged or discriminated over this. I love that fans get this hyped when it comes to the characters and I admire their devotion but to me it's too much and I think that people were forcing on the writers making it happen. From the day one aka s04e01 there was only friendship (like never before) and it was lovely and so emotional. And I think I knew from the very begining that cas would do literally everything to save Sam and dean. I see them as family, that stick together and would (and did) sacrifice themselves for one another. I don't see lovers. I don't see boyfriens/husbands. I see beautiful friendship. To sum up I don't interpret castiels speech as love confession but rather good bye brother thank you for everything you showed me how to live. All in all I think that spn turned out great even though I disliked minor element not only Deastiel related. It is my favourite show and I will be devastated after it ends. So with all that I would love to see some feedback on episode 18 without Deastiel context. I'm not saying it's bad or something I just don't feel it and I know there are people who thinks the same. I want you to remember that it is just only my opinion and I don't want to offend anyone. Also I'm not a native speaker so forgive me any mistakes. Thanks for reading. Please guys spread love and respect each other 👼✌
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Marble
This is the most random fic I came up with the idea for at literally 1am when I was definitely not sleeping and I wanted to dedicate it to @specialagentrin and @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover BECAUSE IM LOV THEM!!
You are my favorite, sweetest beans. Thank you for existificating.
***
There are few true comforts in this world.
The warmth of the arms of the one you love; the knowledge that you are safe; chocolate.
Sam’s always thought he had a thick skin. He can take physical torture, he can even take emotional torture (exhibit A: the Cage). He can handle this.
He can be a marble statue for these two people he loves most in the world. He can be strong, and immovable, and not feel pain.
Right?
--
Sam’s the one who pushed them.
The ‘Deastiel’ jokes, comments about them being ‘an old married couple’… all of it. It was Sam’s fault in the first place. He’s the one who outright confronted Dean and told him to fess up, at least to him if not to Cas.
And Dean did.
And then Dean repeated it all to the angel.
Sam is an idiot.
--
He walks in on them in the kitchen one morning. They’re slow dancing to an Aerosmith song. Sam has no idea how that works, but somehow, they manage it.
Dean looks at Cas like a blind man seeing for the first time. Cas looks at Dean like the Second Coming. One of Dean’s hands is clasped in Cas’s and the other rests on his lower back. Cas’s hand is on Dean’s shoulder.
He leaves them alone and locks himself in his bedroom.
He’s chipping away, little by little. He can feel it.
--
Sam’s resolve crumbles slowly, so slowly he doesn’t even notice it until it’s near completely gone. He hides from them, always. He can’t even look at them anymore for fear of spontaneous combustion.
He finds temporary, fleeting warmth in strangers, tiny candles in the dark, but by the morning each flame is extinguished, the light goes out, and the warmth slips away. Sam is cold again.
Because there are so few true comforts in this world, there is only one person who will ever really make Sam feel safe again.
--
They notice, because of course they do. It’s hard not to, when someone holes up in their bedroom and never speaks to their roommates and only eats at one in the morning when he’s practically starving so he never has to see anyone else.
They notice, and they try to drag him out of his shell. His shell, which he swears used to be made of marble, but it has been weathered by this great storm, Hurricane Destiel, which tore through his life and decimated his armor.
He wonders if they would listen if he told them. He wonders if they would hate him.
He doesn’t know. He used to think… there was no way they could ever hate him. But now, the way they wrap themselves in each other, the way that nothing else even exists around them for those moments together, he thinks.
He can’t take this from them. He can’t deprive them of this happiness that they have so rightly earned. He loves them both too much.
He cannot be a marble statue for them anymore. He is only a man, and men bend and break under the will of God. He will never be any more than he is.
He will never be what he wants to be.
--
So life goes on.
Sam puts on a brave face eventually, ventures out into the Bunker again, and even starts to eat meals with his family again. Because they are his family, and he hates himself for almost forgetting that. They are the only two people in the world who’ve never left his side, who never gave up on him.
He wishes there was some small way he could make it easier.
He wishes he could take everything he feels away, like Christ on trial. He prays to God, not that Chuck is listening. He’s lost so much faith in the things he used to believe in. He used to believe so much, so earnestly, desperate for a reason to hold on to the good things he barely deserves. Christianity was ripped away from him, but it brought with it someone new he could pour his time, energy, love, and faith into, so he thought he could live without it. But now that has been ripped away from him as well, and his brother, his rock with it.
He can’t keep believing in people who never believe in him.
He can’t keep falling for angels.
He becomes cold and distant instead, as a way to separate himself from them emotionally, rather than physically. Maybe he can make them hate him. Maybe if he tries hard enough, they’ll wish him gone, and maybe if they hate him he’ll stop loving them so painfully much.
(He thinks this, in his darkest moments, his guiltiest secret, but he knows that he won’t. Nothing in all of Creation could prevent him from loving the people that he loves.)
Dean snaps at him finally, after almost two weeks, and tells him to figure his shit out. Sam is horrified to discover that he’s actually glad for it. If Dean hates him for that, maybe he’ll hate him less for the other things.
Cas tries to comfort him after Dean storms off. He whispers something to Sam but Sam shrugs him off with a dismissive comment. I don’t care, maybe, or leave me alone. That’s a good one too.
But no matter how hard he may try, he will never stop missing them. Even when they sit across the table from him.
He misses them.
--
Cas never speaks to it when Dean isn’t there. Sam can never decide if that’s good or bad.
Dean rants to Cas about Sam – Sam hears him from down the hall – but Cas’s attitude remains firmly ‘that’s nice dear’ the entire time. He never adds anything, he never comments. And he never comes to Sam to ask if he’s alright.
Sam wonders if Cas simply doesn’t care. It would make sense.
For after all, he’s the screwup to fell in love with Castiel.
#deansil writes#sastiel#sam winchester#castiel#angst#dean winchester#destiel#sastiel fanfiction#destiel fanfiction
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Raven reads...
Was away from the fandom for too long, still catching up on reading. But good old classic destiel ficrecs were always my thing and I want to re-read those fics anyway. I’m not a fan of smut/high rating stuff but if the story is great I’m not shying away from it. This tag is mostly for myself to keep track of what I’ve read but if anyone finds this useful, happy to help. I used to review but tend to give a lot of plot spoilers away, so for now just link, summary, length etc.
Rec Theme: Time-travel
Equinox by luchia 12K, season 5, pre-series, angsty but not really Summary: In which Castiel is the weird time-traveling freak who just might be the love of Dean Winchester's life
Bring It on Home by aramley 4K, season 5 Summary: A riff on 5x13 The Song Remains the Same. Castiel takes an unexpected detour on his way back to 2010.
Rec Theme: Age Regression
Ponies, Sharks and Froot Loops by geek6 5K, post season 5, cute Based on prompt: I dont know if you call this a kid!fic.... no, I think it would be like a de-age!fic. Well, it would be a de-age Castiel, Gabriel's fault (one of his usual jokes and lessons) and Dean having a hard time to take care of him because Cas is really grumpy for been trapped in such a small and powerless vessel.
Second Childhood by cloudyjenn 16K, alt end s5, de-aged Sam Summary: "Dude, I can't do this whole thing by myself," Dean said with far more desperation leaking into his tone than he liked. It would just be too much to make it through hell and death and Lucifer only to have Castiel bail on him because of a frigging baby.
Rec Theme: Team Free Will
(despite canonical Dean, Sam, Castiel, in fanfiction slang it used to mean: Dean, Sam, Cas and Gabriel, often represented two parings (Deastiel and Sabriel) working together with romance plots on the side, don’t know how it is now, maybe same maybe not)
In, Out Of Dark by heavenlyxbodies (also at fanfiction.net) 25K, season 5, angst, h/c Summary: A brother rotting in Hell, an angel hiding in Heaven, and a hunter consumed by the hunt… Dean tried to have a ‘normal’ life for Sam’s sake, but he couldn’t fight the hunt. It was as much who he was as taking care of Sammy. He’d failed at one; he couldn’t let himself fail at the other. It would take losing himself in the darkness and being dragged back into the light, before he accepted what he already knew …and maybe his angel would accept it, too.
For Love is Strong as Death by sakuri69 50K, post season 5, angst, humour Summary: Four months after the apocalypse that wasn’t, Sam, Castiel and Gabriel are brought back to life at the same time and place, leaving Sam to deal with two suddenly human angels and the fact that he can never see his brother again...
#destiel#FBRaven reads destiel#golden destiel fanfiction imho#destiel ficrec theme: age regression#destiel ficrec theme: time-travel#sabriel#destiel ficrec theme: team free will#destiel long fic rec
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Supernatural Rewatch
Season One
Episode Thirteen: Route 666
Date: 29/01/2020
Monster: Vengeful spirit
Favourite quote: “So this killer truck...”
“I miss conversations that didn’t start with ‘this killer truck’”

Comments/Thoughts:
Goddammit I hate people getting up my ass on the road, it’s so freaking annoying
Get your kicks on route 666 😉
Okay so get this (and I know it was never intentional bc they probs wouldn’t have even thought of the s4 storyline at this point, and Cas wasn’t meant to stay for more than 4 eps but hear me out) CASsie and CAStiel, both people who Dean has dated for more than one night, who Dean has very strong feelings for, who both have a strong, firey, stubborn, rebellious personality, who have large lips that Dean just loves to look at and imagine kissing. Even tho the full plots weren’t fully planned out yet, or planned out at all, but tell me it’s not a sign.
I remember I didn’t like this ep bc I was jealous of Cassie ahahaha I WANT DEAN
Ngl it’s kinda awkward between Cassie and Dean (I keep wanting to stop typing at Cas ffs)
OH MY GOD SAM DESCRIBING THE WAY DEAN AND CASSIE LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND I’M GETTING FLASHES OF DESTIEL MOMENTS I CAN’T
Can Jensen please stop biting his lip
OH OH PARALLEL TIME Dean getting in Baby to avoid talking to Sam about his relationship with Cassie (the final straw being a truth he doesn’t want to admit). VS. “Deastiel?” “Why not Samstiel?” “Shut your face, get in the car” BOTH AGAIN ABOUT CAS/SIE
This argument also reminds me of Destiel’s arguments... and now they’re banging and I don’t think I can watch in all honesty
WHY DID HE RUN AWAY WHEN HE WAS RIGHT BESIDE HIS CAR HOW DID HE THINK HE COULD OUTRUN A TRUCK SMH
Goddammit why is Jensen so damn hot it hurts. This is how I imagine Dean and Cas cuddling in bed when reading all the fics
BLOOPER MOMENT
Oh shit Cassie grab the salt
The performance of the lady that plays Cassie’s mum in the confession scene is amazing. So captivating and heartbreaking
SAM CLEARING HIS THROAT TO DISRUPT DEAN AND CASSIE KISSING - ANOTHER THING HE DOES FOR DESTIEL
Ooof I love this car chase scene, that skilled as drifting from Dean
Damn Sammy is so freaking smart THIS IS WHY HE’S AWESOME
And bye bye forever Cassie (tbh I’m not really gonna miss you sorry I kinda forgot about you until now whoops)
“You need someone like her” SAM APPROVES OF CAS/SIE AOSJSNSKSJSNSJSJSJS I MEAN WE’VE BEEN KNEW BUT STILL
I was literally waiting for Dean to lie down on Sam’s lap after he said “wake me up when it’s my turn to drive” and then I remembered that was Jared and Jensen....
#dean’s supernatural rewatch#supernatural#spn#spn s1#season 1#episode 13#route 666#dean winchester#sam winchester
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Supernatural 01x13
Route 666
(Next Episode | Masterlist | Previous Episode)
So …. Racist Ghost Truck, as a monster concept … not one of the greatest. But, this episode does tell us a lot about how Dean handles love and relationships, which makes it very interesting.
I also wanna say, while there might be some things in this episode that could be considered problematic, the fact that they just straight up called out the police officers and newspapers for being racist and not investigating or reporting things accurately … well, it feels very applicable in June 2020, that’s all I’m saying.
Wait! That’s Vixen! The actress who plays Cassie! What? Wow, love that for her. I do wish she had done more live action superheroing (she’s in one episode of Arrow) but she voices a superhero which is still pretty dope.
Now, on to the analysis:
SAM: So her name's Cassie huh? You never mentioned her..
DEAN: Didn't I?.......Yeah, we went out.
SAM: You mean you dated somebody? For more than one night.
DEAN: Am I speaking a language you're not getting here? Dad and I were working a job in Ohio, she was finishing up college. We went out for a couple of weeks.
So, Dean has an ex. Like, he was in a real relationship. Judging by Sam’s reaction, this is the only time this has ever happened. Dean doesn’t do relationships. Granted, a “couple of weeks” isn’t a very long relationship, but it’s longer than anything he’s had before.
We also learn in this episode that it was an established rule to not tell people about hunting.
SAM: You told her. You told her, the secret! Our big family rule number one. We do what we do and we shut up about it. For a year and a half I do nothing but lie to Jessica, and you go out with this chick in Ohio a couple of times and you tell her everything?
(Just a side note, I think if Sam had wanted to he would have broken this rule, it’s not like he cared what John thought or wanted while he was in college. He chose to lie to Jessica. He didn’t want her to know about monsters. He didn’t want her to see him as different. But this episode is about Dean so …)
So, Dean broke that rule, opened up to Cassie. Why?
DEAN: Hey I tried. I told you who I really was. That was a big first for me.
CASSIE: Why'd you tell me?
DEAN: I don't know. I guess I couldn't lie to you.
He can’t lie about himself to people he loves. Confirming what I observed in “Skin” and “Bugs.” He can’t get close to people inauthentically. But he tried to open up to someone, for the first time in his life (he’s 26 guys! Like … just think about how lonely his life has been) and he gets dumped for it. She called him crazy, she didn’t believe him.
SAM: Ah look man, everybody's gotta open up to someone sometime.
DEAN: Yeah, I don't. It was stupid to get that close. I mean, look how it ended.
So now, we have a Dean who has only opened up to one person outside of his family and learned that it’s not worth it. That being vulnerable only brings pain and rejection. We see that he reopens around Cassie in this episode, but she, being a realist, says goodbye to him at the end, although he obviously wants to believe they might see each other again (spoilers: they don’t). This has got to have a lasting impact on the way he builds relationships.
I will say, this episode doesn’t give me much to work with on my theory/headcanon of Dean being on the aromantic/demiromantic spectrum. The only thing we get is:
CASSIE: We should fight more often.
DEAN: Absolutely.
CASSIE: Actually we were always pretty good at fighting.This (meaning sexy times) we were good at. It's all the other stuff...not so much.
Which … doesn’t prove he’s demiromantic, but it also doesn’t disprove it. That’s all I’m saying.There are numerous explanations for this line from Cassie, numerous reasons they might have been bad at the romance part of their relationships. I’m just saying a possible one is that it takes a lot for Dean to be romantically attracted/attached to someone.
Now for a ride in the Destiel clown car:
SAM:You loved her.
DEAN: Oh God.
DEAN turns to the Impala.
SAM:You were in love with her, but you dumped her.
DEAN is silent. He stares at the ground, glances at SAM, then looks back to the ground.
SAM:Oh wow. She dumped you.
DEAN:Get in the car. (Getting in himself) Get in the car!
This scene just reminded me of when Sam is teasing Dean about Destiel in the Supernatural Musical episode and Dean angrily tells him to get in the car. I mean … isn’t it? Kinda the same?
10x05
SAM : I mean, shouldn't it be... Deastiel ?
DEAN : Really ? That's your issue with this ?
SAM : (smirks) No, of course it's not my issue. You know... How about Sastiel? Samstiel?
DEAN : Ok, alright. You know what ? You're gonna do that thing, where you just shut the hell up. Forever.
....
(He goes back to the driver's door. Sam looks at him.)
SAM : CasDean ?
DEAN : Shut your face ! Get in the car !
…..
also:
DEAN: Whoa! Now let's not forget who dumped who ok?
CASSIE: I thought it was what you wanted.
15x09:
DEAN: Maybe if you didn’t just up and leave us..
CASTIEL: you didn’t give me a choice. You couldn’t forgive me and you couldn’t move on.. You were too angry. I left but you didn’t stop me.
Ummmm… Listen I don’t wanna read too much into anything, I’m just gonna say this argument reminded me of another argument. And that’s all I could think about while watching this episode.
#Supernatural#Supernatural rewatch#01x13#1x13#route 666#dean winchester#sam winchester#cassie#season 1#ok just a little bit of#destiel#sorry#I used to read these metas that would compare Cas to Cassie and I always thought it was such a stretch but ...#idk#maybe they were on to something#I'm just a simple clown
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