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cardansriddle · 22 days ago

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Dance of Shadow and Desire - Tom Riddle x Fem!Reader

gif not mine

Summary: Once, they were friends—until his ambition turned him into the Dark Lord. Years later, he appears on her doorstep, bleeding and unrepentant, his obsession with her as fierce as his thirst for power. Caught between her lingering feelings and the monster he has become, she must decide between her feelings and letting him go.

warnings: angst with a happy(ish?) ending, dark tom but he's bbg. also older tom but he's not a snake yet dw. 3rd person POV,

A/N: I've always wanted to write something with older tom and this one has been sitting in my drafts for ages. i decided to post it bc why not! lmk what you guys think and if i should write more for older tom! (and before you ask, I'm sorry but not writing a part 2 for this)

༻♛༺

The rain drummed lightly against the windows as she sat in her worn armchair, a steaming cup of tea forgotten on the table beside her. The Daily Prophet lay open on her lap, the bold headline screaming of another attack.

The Dark Lord Strikes Again: Ministry Scrambles to Counter Riddle’s Forces.

Her chest tightened as she read the words, the familiar name sending a chill through her veins.

Riddle. Tom Riddle. And to think he had been her friend once.

She closed her eyes, and despite fighting it, memories reluctantly started to flood back. Late-night study sessions in the Hogwarts library, debates over spells and theories, and the way his sharp mind always seemed a step ahead of everyone else's. He had been ambitious, yes, she knew that, but there had been a charm to him, a warmth she had once believed was genuine.

They had been close, or at least as close as anyone could be to Tom. But as the years passed, she had watched him change. His ambition darkened, his charm became manipulation, and his thirst for power grew insatiable.

She started heard whispers of his experiments, his fascination with immortality, and the growing fear he inspired in his peers he called friends. She had tried countless times to steer him away from his path, but he had brushed her off with a cold finality she would never forget. She had been helpless as she watched the boy she loved so dearly descend into madness. And thus, by the time they left Hogwarts, the distance between them had become a chasm.

And now, years later, here he was again, not in the flesh but in the headlines of a paper detailing his reign of terror. She folded the Prophet with a trembling hand, her heart heavy with a mix of anger, sadness, and a faint, unwelcome pang of longing for the friend she had lost.

She sighed, tossing the paper aside and wrapping her robe over her nightgown tighter, trying to get rid of the goosebumps on her skin. Though they had little to do with cold, and more to do with what she had just read.

She was startled out of her stupor by knocking on her door. It was urgent, sharp, and completely unexpected. Her eyes glanced at the clock above the fireplace, and her brows furrowed as she wondered who would dare show up unannounced past midnight at her door.

Her fingers immediately clutched the wand she had set at her table, and she stood, beginning to approach the door warily. She debated whether if she should even open the door, considering the hour, yet worried that one of her friends might have gotten in trouble, she twisted the doorknob.

When she opened it, the sight before her made her wonder if she was having a nightmare.

A figure in black stood on her doorstep, his robes soaked and clinging to his tall frame The crimson stains seeped through his clothes, smearing the pale skin of his hands and dripping from a gash across his temple. For a moment, the hood of his cloak obscured his face, but then he raised his head.

Those familiar features, now sharper and more menacing, stared back at her. His face had matured, losing the boyish charm she once knew, replaced by a cold, calculated intensity. But his eyes—those piercing, dark eyes—had not changed. They bore into her with a mix of exhaustion and something darker she dared not name.

She froze as if someone poured a bucket of ice over her head. It was him. She had been reading about him mere minutes ago, the feared Dark Lord whose name terrified the wizarding world, and now he stood at her doorstep as if summoned by her very thoughts.

The storm raged behind him and despite the obvious pain coursing through him due to his wounds, something in his gaze sharpened, his complete focus narrowing to her as though the rain, the blood, and his injuries were inconsequential.

“You…” Her voice faltered, and she tightened her grip on the doorframe. "How...what are you doing here?"

Tom leaned heavily against the doorframe, his hand gripping the edge for support. "Do you plan to let me bleed out on your doorstep?” he asked, his voice even deeper and colder than she remembered.

Swallowing her shock, she blinked a few times to confirm she was not hallucinating. Her gaze roved over his dark hair, plastered against his forehead and disheveled in a way that was so unlike the controlled and immaculate boy she recalled.

"Did you expect me to welcome you with open arms after...everything?" She breathed out incredulously, looking at him with wide eyes, trying, desperately yet vainly to ignore the strings being pulled taut at her heart just at the sight of him before her. “You have no right to be here,” she added, her voice trembling with anger.

His gaze sharpened, the intensity of his focus making her feel as though she was the only person in the world. Despite his injuries, his voice remained calm, unyielding. “I expected you to act with the practicality I know you possess.”

“Reason? You are unbelievable.” She scoffed, crossing her arms tightly. “The reasonable thing would be to turn you away and report you to the Aurors.”

“And yet,” he said, taking a deliberate step closer, though his movements were clearly labored, “you haven’t done that." As soon as the words left his mouth, a cough roughly racked through his chest and he swayed on his feet.

She faltered, her grip tightening on the doorframe. His words stung because they were true. She hated the way he always seemed to know exactly which string to pull. Every instinct screamed at her to shut the door. He was dangerous. He had become something monstrous, far removed from the ambitious boy she once knew at Hogwarts. But the sight of his blood and the faint tremor in his hand stirred something in her.

The rain continued to pour around them, each drop a reminder of how absurd this situation was. His drooping eyelids were the only warning she got as he almost collapsed, and she flung her arms around his middle to catch him. Despite everything, she found that she could not let him bleed out in front of her eyes. Worse, she still cared about him.

"Do not think for a second this means I’ve forgiven you.” Her voice was tight with resignation as she helped him into her home. He didn’t fully collapse, though he looked like he might. Instead, he moved with deliberate slowness with her help until they reached her large couch by the fireplace.

A ghost of a smile flickered across his lips, even as he winced with pain. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

She made sure he was fully situated before she busied herself fetching a potion and bandages, trying to ignore the weight of his gaze following her every move. She knew whatever had caused him this much harm would not be so simple to fix with mere Wiggenweld potion or basic healing charms.

“I didn’t think I’d see you again,” she murmured quietly, setting the supplies on the table beside him. “Especially not like this.”

Tom gave a faint, humorless smile. “Life has a way of surprising us.”

She bit back a retort at that, deciding to focus on the task at hand instead. "Show me."

Tom did not need to be instructed twice, as he moved to peel away his robes in order to expose his wounded back. He kept trying to hold in the winces every time he moved, and against her better judgement, she reached to bat his hands away and instead do the job herself. She removed his robes first, putting it away carefully so his blood would not stain her furniture. Then, she began slowly peeling away his shirt that had stuck to his skin after being soaked in his blood for so long. He suppressed a shiver at the feel of her cold fingertips grazing his skin, and she inn turn suppressed her urge to let her eyes wonder over his shirtless form. She had far more important matters in her hand.

The gash across his back was long and bloody. She could immediately tell it was not a wound caused by any weapon, but by dark magic. The edges of it were jagged, charred black which was the first giveaway of its cause. It was deep, angry, and refusing to heal fully even as she muttered counter-curses under her breath.

“This will take time,” she murmured, her voice softer than she intended, as if speaking too loudly would shatter the fragile calm between them.

He didn’t reply, merely tilting his head to allow her better access. She could feel him watching her from the corner of his eye, even as she tried to focus. Her fingers trembled slightly as she pressed a cooling salve into the wound, but she forced herself to steady them.

Once the magic had been neutralized as much as she could manage, she began to wrap a bandage around his torso. His skin was pale, marred by other scars she hadn’t expected to see, each one a testament to the battles he had fought—and most likely won.

Her hands brushed against his sides as she secured the bandage, and she felt his muscles tense beneath her touch. She glanced up instinctively, though she could not see his face fully.

“You’re trembling,” he said, his voice low and almost… gentle.

“I’m not,” she lied, looking away quickly as heat crept into her cheeks.

He let out a faint hum of disbelief but said nothing further.

When she finished wrapping his torso, she moved to settle in front of him so she could focus on the gash on his temple. The blood had dried, crusting around the edges of the wound, and she carefully wiped it clean with a damp cloth. Her fingers brushed his hair back from his face, wet and unruly from the rain, and she noted absently how much longer it had grown since their school days.

He didn’t flinch, didn’t pull away, but he was watching her again—always watching. She could feel the weight of his gaze as she worked, the tension in the air thick enough to choke on.

“Why are you staring at me?” she asked finally, her voice tight.

“Because you’re still the same,” he said quietly, his tone devoid of the usual bite she had come to expect from him.

She paused, her hand hovering above the wound. “And you’re not,” she replied, her words laced with both sadness and bitterness.

He smirked faintly, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “No. I’m not.”

For a moment, neither of them spoke. The only sounds were the crackle of the fire and the faint patter of rain against the window. When she resumed cleaning the wound, his gaze didn’t waver. If anything, it intensified, as though he were trying to memorize every detail of her face.

“You could have not let me in,” he said suddenly, his voice softer than she had ever heard it.

“Yes, I could have." She replied simply, and wondered if perhaps she should have.

A ghost of a smile tugged at his lips, though it was filled with something that felt dangerously close to regret. “You always did see more in me than anyone else,” he murmured, almost to himself.

Her hands stilled briefly, but she quickly resumed her work, unwilling to meet his gaze. “Maybe I was wrong.”

For the first time since he had arrived, he looked away.

Suddenly she was overcome with a burst of courage. "You can still stop this, you can—"

“I didn’t come here for a lecture.” He snapped.

“Then why did you come here?”

He didn’t answer immediately, and when he did, his words sent a chill down her spine. “Because you’re the only one I trust.”

Her hands stilled, the bandage halfway wrapped around his arm. “You trust me?” she repeated, disbelief coloring her tone. “After all these years?”

His gaze locked onto hers, intense and unyielding. “You’ve always been different,” he said, as though that explained everything. “You see the flaws, but you don’t flinch. You never did.”

She wanted to argue, to tell him he was wrong. But the truth was, a part of her still saw the boy she once called a friend. And that part of her was why she hadn’t turned him away.

Her hands fell at her sides, and she tried to search his face but she could decipher what he was feeling. "Tom..."

It was as if the utter of his name was his last straw before he was undone. “Stop.” His voice was quiet but firm, and not for the first time, it carried something she couldn’t name. A plea, maybe, hidden beneath the layers of steel. “Nothing is going to deter me from my path.”

“Even if it means losing everything? Losing everyone?”

He tilted his head, studying her as though the answer should have been obvious. “I have never really had anyone or anything. Except you.”

Her throat tightened at his words, but she managed to croak out a reply. "And you lost me."

His eyes flashed, but he didn’t argue. Instead, he leaned back in the couch, rested his head and closed his eyes. “Perhaps not,” he said finally. “But you’re here now.”

The weight of his words hung between them like a storm about to break. Before she could respond, he opened his eyes and looked at her. “I’ve watched you,” he admitted, his voice softer now, but no less intense. “For years, I’ve watched you. Wondering if one day you’d join me." He paused, "Hoping.”

She crossed her arms, holding his gaze. "You mean standing beside you while the world burns?"

His lips curved into a faint, humorless smile. "If that’s how you choose to see it."

"That's a lonely prospect." She retorted.

The flickering firelight cast shadows over his sharp features, making him seem both human and monstrous. "Lonely," he repeated, almost mockingly. "You think I don’t know what loneliness is?"

"I think you chose it," she said quietly.

Tom's eyes flashed, a dangerous spark of anger igniting in them. "I didn’t choose it," he hissed. "I embraced it. Because weakness is what binds people to one another. And I refused to be weak."

"Strength doesn’t mean shutting everyone out," she shot back. "It doesn’t mean destroying everything good in your life. You used to know that. At least I thought you did."

For a moment, she thought she saw something crack in his carefully composed mask. His voice lowered, almost a whisper and he chose to disregard her comment. "I told myself that you just needed time," he admitted. "But then I started hearing things. Rumors that you’d settled down, moved on. That you were happy." His gaze met hers, unflinching and intense. "Do you know what that did to me? The thought of someone else taking what I’d decided was mine? I was ready to kill, but then I found out the rumours were false."

She laughed, but it was hollow, her disbelief bleeding through. “Do you even hear yourself? That is not love."

His lips twisted into a bitter smile. “Call it what you want. It’s all I’ve ever had to offer.”

She shook her head. "But it's—"

“Me,” Tom interrupted. “It’s who I am. And you’ve always known that.”

The silence stretched, thick and suffocating, as she tried to find her footing amidst the storm of his words. He wasn’t just offering her a place beside him—he was offering her the only version of himself he knew how to be. And for a shameful moment, she wondered if that was enough.

“It doesn’t have to be this way,” she said finally, her voice breaking under the weight of her own plea. “You could still—”

“Still what?” he asked, his voice colder now. “Change? Turn back? Forget everything I’ve fought for?” His tone softened then, laced with something dangerously close to vulnerability, though his expression remained steely. “No matter what you say, I won’t stop. I can’t. Don’t you see?” His jaw tightened as though the words were difficult to force out. “You’re the only person I’ve ever had even the faintest semblance of care for—of love for.”

The word hung in the air between them, so foreign coming from his lips that she almost didn’t believe he’d said it. Her throat tightened, her body frozen under his piercing gaze.

“And if anyone,” he continued, his voice darkening, “anyone so much as thinks of taking you from me, I’ll kill them. You know I will.”

A shiver ran down her spine at the conviction in his words, the raw ferocity in his voice. She shook her head, tears welling in her eyes. “You don’t love me— you just want to keep me caged.”

His nostrils flared, his expression twisting in frustration. “Why don’t you understand?” His voice cracked, sharp and raw, and before she could react, his hands shot forward, grasping her face.

She gasped, the suddenness of the gesture sending her heart racing. His hands were cold against her skin, but his grip was firm, unyielding, as though he feared she might slip away. His dark eyes bore into hers, and for the first time, she saw something she couldn’t quite name in them—a mix of fury, desperation, and something heartbreakingly human.

“I would burn the whole world just to keep you warm,” he said, his voice a low growl that reverberated through her chest.

Her breath hitched, the words crashing into her like a tidal wave. She could no longer hold her tears, and was helpless as they trailed a wait trail down her cheeks.

She couldn’t look away, couldn’t move, trapped by the sheer force of his presence.

And then, with a gentleness that was almost cruel, he leaned in, his lips brushing against the tears streaking down her face. He wiped them away with his mouth, his touch at once tender and consuming, sending a shudder through her entire body.

“Tom…” she whispered, her voice breaking as his lips trailed down the curve of her cheek. She didn’t know if it was a plea or a warning, but the moment the word left her lips, he silenced her with his own.

The kiss wasn’t soft or tentative—it was desperate, fervent, as though he were trying to etch himself into her soul, to claim her in a way that words never could. His fingers tightened slightly on her face, pulling her closer, his breath hot and unrelenting against her skin.

She tried to resist, her mind screaming at her to pull away, to end this before it consumed her entirely. But her body betrayed her, melting into his as though it had been waiting for this moment, despite everything. Despite the pain. Despite the danger.

When he finally pulled back, his forehead resting against hers, her breath came in shallow, uneven gasps. His hands didn’t leave her face, his thumbs brushing over her skin in a way that made her heart ache.

Her voice cracked as she spoke. “When you’re healed, I’ll tell you to go.”

His hands stiffened slightly, his grip faltering for a brief second before it steadied again. "And I will come back again. And again."

She ignored his words. “For now,” she continued, her voice breaking under the weight of the moment, “I’ll let myself have this.”

She leaned into him, closing her eyes against the storm raging both outside and within her. For now, she allowed herself to relish the fleeting comfort of his touch, even as she knew it was a mistake. Because when the storm passed, when he was gone, she’d be left with nothing but the ashes of what once was—until he would come back to reignite it until she gives in.

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#tom riddle #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle x y/n #tom riddle fanfiction #tom riddle fanfic #tom riddle one shot #tom marvolo riddle #tom riddle fic #tom riddle x you #tom riddle angst #tom riddle x fem!reader #tom riddle x female reader #tom riddle fluff

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pedulum-chronometry · 1 year ago

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First, I need you to understand this post has permanently rewired by brain.

Second, this makes the scene where God gives Job a lecture for asking questions is like 120% funnier now. Like She had a plan. The original one was good, so good, but then well angels pushed back and She had to invent Hell on the fly to deal with things.

So now She moved on to The Plan 2.0 - special brimstone and fire edition and is trying to get on with it - with a diminished workforce no less. But here come Mr. Guilty-by-association, who for the record She really didn’t want to throw out but She draw a line and now has to stick to it, and this brand new demon just gives humanity knowledge as his opening gambit from the other side, like a fucked up wish you were here from a former friend. And God now has to do another Plan revision.

So She throws humans out of Eden and sends the flaming sword to keep it that way. Except, this angel sees the possible harm that could come to the newly pregnant Eve and in a completely loving and caring way just gives the flaming sword away to humanity. Like She didn't have reasons for keeping angel weapons away from humans in the first place. So the principality helped invent war instead of just standing there and looking menacing like he was supposed to!! Plan revision.

Now we move on to 'biblical times', the actual meat of the original plan only for the snake and the sword-giver to just keep showing up and messing with things. Noah's ark? was supposed to be a hard system reset to deal with the rampant war and strife introduced by history's worst guard and Her now favorite demon who She'll admit to Herself ONLY, has some good points, occasionally. Only it doesn't work. Plan revision.

So in comes Job. And he has questions. And really isn't that just the way things have been going from day one of this. And She lets him have it. The stress of having to account for constant changes to what was supposed to be a very straightforward Plan. Like how hard was this guys? I gave you instructions and all you had to do was follow them. Do you know how hard it is to rebalance the laws of the universe every time one of you just decides that it should work different? I made a fiery bush where the fire did not consume bush, I can do extraordinary and exceptional why do you keep drawing me back to the mundane and problematic? I'm trying to craft narrative and meaning here guys please stop messing with the constituent materials.

So people have knowledge and war and free will and God's just like "oh my me Jesus will you please come help me clean up this mess?". And he's just like "yeah mom whatever you need. What's this new draft you're working on? Apocalypse, fun name"

Like God is a frustrated writer who is BEGGING her characters to make different choices and just sitting there dumbfounded when they don’t. By the time we reach The Apocalypse (version 847626848.136-c final-final this time I really mean it!), She has given up on the direct approach. It clearly does not work for beings with free will. So She goes about with a much more light tough. Little bit of misinformation here and a dash of misunderstanding there and suddenly FINALLY She's got the plan going in the right direction.

Oh and those two trouble makers, her favorite snake and that angel he loves, those two deserve some payback. They like the world they way it is, don't want the end of the world? Go forth my children, expend effort only for your wheels to spin fruitlessly as you are thwarted from your plan's inception by other people and their godawful choices. You get to keep the planet but not before I mess with you two the way you messed with me. How do you like them apples? God out!

Awhile ago @ouidamforeman made this post:

This shot through my brain like a chain of firecrackers, so, without derailing the original post, I have some THOUGHTS to add about why this concept is not only hilarious (because it is), but also...

It. It kind of fucks. Severely.

And in a delightfully Pratchett-y way, I'd dare to suggest.

I'll explain:

As inferred above, both Crowley AND Aziraphale have canonical Biblical counterparts. Not by name, no, but by function.

Crowley, of course, is the serpent of Eden.

(note on the serpent of Eden: In Genesis 3:1-15, at least, the serpent is not identified as anything other than a serpent, albeit one that can talk. Later, it will be variously interpreted as a traitorous agent of Hell, as a demon, as a guise of Satan himself, etc. In Good Omens --as a slinky ginger who walks funny)

Lesser known, at least so far as I can tell, is the flaming sword. It, too, appears in Genesis 3, in the very last line:

"So he drove out the man; and placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life." --Genesis 3:24, KJV

Thanks to translation ambiguity, there is some debate concerning the nature of the flaming sword --is it a divine weapon given unto one of the Cherubim (if so, why only one)? Or is it an independent entity, which takes the form of a sword (as other angelic beings take the form of wheels and such)? For our purposes, I don't think the distinction matters. The guard at the gate of Eden, whether an angel wielding the sword or an angel who IS the sword, is Aziraphale.

(note on the flaming sword: in some traditions --Eastern Orthodox, for example-- it is held that upon Christ's death and resurrection, the flaming sword gave up it's post and vanished from Eden for good. By these sensibilities, the removal of the sword signifies the redemption and salvation of man.

...Put a pin in that. We're coming back to it.)

So, we have our pair. The Serpent and the Sword, introduced at the beginning and the end (ha) of the very same chapter of Genesis.

But here's the important bit, the bit that's not immediately obvious, the bit that nonetheless encapsulates one of the central themes, if not THE central theme, of Good Omens:

The Sword was never intended to guard Eden while Adam and Eve were still in it.

Do you understand?

The Sword's function was never to protect them. It doesn't even appear until after they've already fallen. No... it was to usher Adam and Eve from the garden, and then keep them out. It was a threat. It was a punishment.

The flaming sword was given to be used against them.

So. Again. We have our pair. The Serpent and the Sword: the inception and the consequence of original sin, personified. They are the one-two punch that launches mankind from paradise, after Hell lures it to destruction and Heaven condemns it for being destroyed. Which is to say that despite being, supposedly, hereditary enemies on two different sides of a celestial cold war, they are actually unified by one purpose, one pivotal role to play in the Divine Plan: completely fucking humanity over.

That's how it's supposed to go. It is written.

...But, in Good Omens, they're not just the Serpent and the Sword.

They're Crowley and Aziraphale.

(author begins to go insane from emotion under the cut)

In Good Omens, humanity is handed it's salvation (pin!) scarcely half an hour after losing it. Instead of looming over God's empty garden, the sword protects a very sad, very scared and very pregnant girl. And no, not because a blameless martyr suffered and died for the privilege, either.

It was just that she'd had such a bad day. And there were vicious animals out there. And Aziraphale worried she would be cold.

...I need to impress upon you how much this is NOT just a matter of being careless with company property. With this one act of kindness, Aziraphale is undermining the whole entire POINT of the expulsion from Eden. God Herself confronts him about it, and he lies. To God.

And the Serpent--

(Crowley, that is, who wonders what's so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil anyway; who thinks that maybe he did a GOOD thing when he tempted Eve with the apple; who objects that God is over-reacting to a first offense; who knows what it is to fall but not what it is to be comforted after the fact...)

--just goes ahead and falls in love with him about it.

As for Crowley --I barely need to explain him, right? People have been making the 'didn't the serpent actually do us a solid?' argument for centuries. But if I'm going to quote one of them, it may as well be the one Neil Gaiman wrote ficlet about:

"If the account given in Genesis is really true, ought we not, after all, to thank this serpent? He was the first schoolmaster, the first advocate of learning, the first enemy of ignorance, the first to whisper in human ears the sacred word liberty, the creator of ambition, the author of modesty, of inquiry, of doubt, of investigation, of progress and of civilization." --Robert G. Ingersoll

The first to ask questions.

Even beyond flattering literary interpretation, we know that Crowley is, so often, discreetly running damage control on the machinations of Heaven and Hell. When he can get away with it. Occasionally, when he can't (1827).

And Aziraphale loves him for it, too. Loves him back.

And so this romance plays out over millennia, where they fall in love with each other but also the world, because of each other and because of the world. But it begins in Eden. Where, instead of acting as the first Earthly example of Divine/Diabolical collusion and callousness--

(other examples --the flood; the bet with Satan; the back channels; the exchange of Holy Water and Hellfire; and on and on...)

--they refuse. Without even necessarily knowing they're doing it, they just refuse. Refuse to trivialize human life, and refuse to hate each other.

To write a story about the Serpent and the Sword falling in love is to write a story about transgression.

Not just in the sense that they are a demon and an angel, and it's ~forbidden. That's part of it, yeah, but the greater part of it is that they are THIS demon and angel, in particular. From The Real Bible's Book of Genesis, in the chapter where man falls.

It's the sort of thing you write and laugh. And then you look at it. And you think. And then you frown, and you sit up a little straighter. And you think.

And then you keep writing.

And what emerges hits you like a goddamn truck.

(...A lot of Pratchett reads that way. I believe Gaiman when he says Pratchett would have been happy with the romance, by the way. I really really do).

It's a story about transgression, about love as transgression. They break the rules by loving each other, by loving creation, and by rejecting the hatred and hypocrisy that would have triangulated them as a unified blow against humanity, before humanity had even really got started. And yeah, hell, it's a queer romance too, just to really drive the point home (oh, that!!! THAT!!!)

...I could spend a long time wildly gesturing at this and never be satisfied. Instead of watching me do that (I'll spare you), please look at this gif:

I love this shot so much.

Look at Eve and Crowley moving, at the same time in the same direction, towards their respective wielders of the flaming sword. Adam reaches out and takes her hand; Aziraphale reaches out and covers him with a wing.

You know what a shot like that establishes? Likeness. Commonality. Kinship.

"Our side" was never just Crowley and Aziraphale. Crowley says as much at the end of season 1 ("--all of us against all of them."). From the beginning, "our side" was Crowley, Aziraphale, and every single human being. Lately that's around 8 billion, but once upon a time it was just two other people. Another couple. The primeval mother and father.

But Adam and Eve die, eventually. Humanity grows without them. It's Crowley and Aziraphale who remain, and who protect it. Who...oversee it's upbringing.

Godfathers. Sort of.

#Good Omens #I firmly believe God is frustrated for good reason but still #I think somewhere along the way The Plan changed so much because Crowley and Aziraphale that She straight up was willing to let them win #Like She saw how these two trouble makers caused some of the most amazing unintended things and just said 'that's good. I'll have that'#She's willing to let her creation do its own thing and what better voice for that than these two #'yes boys you get to keep the planet it was a good argument and I approve of your genuine love for others'#'but also never darken my doorstep again. go eat dinner together and leave me alone'#'I'm moving to the other side of the universe to take up meditation and poetry. do not contact me.'

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juletheghoul · 4 months ago

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corrupted

a/n: I asked for requests and y'all came THROUGH. Freaks - all of you!! (same) hope you enjoy this fucking ovulation-fueled fever dream lmao. @quicax3 - I am dedicating everything I post today to you- Happy birthday! 🩷hope ya'll enjoy (not even a little beta'd or proofread lol all mistakes are mine)

Warnings; 18+ no minors, vague but big-legal age gap, piv sex, dirty talk, hand stuff, rough / marathon sex, homeboy paints the boobies- Marcus gets dosed with something and is * d e s p e r a t e *(a little graphic / I guess this could be hurt / comfort?), master / slave dynamic (power imbalance) he’s still pretty possessive, Marcus calls reader Girl, reader calls Marcus Dominus - let me know if I missed any! 🩷

Pairing: Marcus Acaciusx F!Reader

word count: 2.6k (😅)

reblogs are appreciated

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You frowned to see her darkening his doorstep once more from your place just inside the giant doorway.

“Announce my arrival to Marcus if you would, I have brought him a gift.” She smiles her prettiest smile at you, moving to walk past you but you hold fast, blocking her path.

“Apologies my lady, the Dominus is absent. I do not know when he will return and I am not to allow visitors in his absence.” Part of you felt a twinge of guilt at the way her face fell, but the memory of her proposal, and her apparent attempts to change his mind twisted something in your gut. She clutched at the wine bottle in her hands, cradling it as her eyes scanned what she could see of the house behind you.

“Do you know when he left.” She frowns, eyes focusing on you once more.

“He has been gone since first light, and as I said before, I am unsure of when he will return. He did not say when he left.” You were telling her mostly the truth, he had left early in the day, but you knew he’d be back before nightfall. He’d told you.

“I could just wait, I doubt he’ll mind–” She flashed her winning smile, thinking it would work on you as it had worked on everyone throughout her years but she had no notion of your ire for her.

“Apologies my lady, I cannot permit you inside, it will be my head.” It would never come to that, you knew it but he would not be pleased.

“Oh come now.” She huffed just outside the door, crossing her arms and for a moment you saw a spoiled child on the verge of a tantrum. One of his guards heard the commotion and came over to assist.

“Apologies my lady, but you will have to return another time, when the Dominus is here to greet you.” He was large, and her demeanor changed instantly.

“I have brought him a gift, he will be happy to see me I swear it–” She held the bottle out to the guard and he took it, looking over what seemed to be a dark red wine.

“I will make sure Dominus receives your gift.” He closed the door in her face despite the widening of her eyes at having been left outside, giftless, and unwelcome. She knocked again, but the guard only put the bottle in your hands, and sent you off with a nod. You went about your business and left him to it.

Your Dominus was true to his word. The sun had just kissed the horizon when he walked through the door. His brow was furrowed in frustration and you rushed to greet him, hoping his business hadn’t gone awry. His eyes found yours and they softened, but only a touch.

“Shall I prepare your meal Dominus? Or would you care to rest first?” You followed as he made his way towards his study, his stride quick enough to make you hurry after him.

“I’ll take my meal in my study, fetch me clean water and linens to cleanse before I eat–and the red wine if you would.” He sat at his desk, putting down scrolls he’d brought with him. His talk of wine reminded you of his visitor.

“Oh–I just recalled. You had a visitor while you were away today, Dominus.” You brought the empty basin from the corner and set it up at the little table beside his desk for the water you’d have to fetch. His eyes shot up, his attention solely focused on you. “I obeyed your commands, no one came in–it was Lavinia.”

His eyebrow raised, and a small, half-smile formed on his lips. The scrolls sat on the desk, forgotten as he leaned back a little in his chair, amused now at the way your chin jut out in uncharacteristic defiance.

“Was it now? And just what did Lavinia want?” He narrowed his eyes, his smile widened a fraction.

“I think I can divine what she wanted.” You mumble the words under your breath, picking at your nails and he clears his throat, a gentle warning. “Apologies Dominus, I said, I think I can divine what she wanted. I do not think she took your refusal with good grace. She brought you a gift, in hopes to sway you if I had to hazard a guess.”

“Well, seems she would like me to reconsider.” He crossed his arms, watching your face and it’s hard to keep it free of emotion. “Bring me her gift, I would like to see it.” He gestured to the door with a playful smile and although your belly twisted at the thought of her working her charms on him from afar, you knew in your heart of hearts he simply liked to frustrate you.

The temptation to smash the bottle into pieces was almost too big to ignore. The thought of him being displeased however kept your grip on it tight, kept you obedient as you did everything he’d asked of you. With his hands cleansed, with his food served, you put the bottle onto his desk.

“So this is what she offers.” He took the bottle in his hand, turning it over with more interest than you would have liked. He opened it, and put it under his nose. You watched him, fighting tooth and nail to keep your expression neutral. He only smiled the harder, reveling in your poorly disguised discomfort.

“It smells like good wine, but fortified with something.” He poured some into a goblet, swirling it with growing interest.

“Shall I leave you to enjoy your meal, Dominus?” You kept your head held high, reminding yourself that he had refused her after all, and a cup of wine wasn’t going to change anything.

“No. I would have you here.” He smiled, bringing the cup to his mouth and draining it in a few gulps.

It was almost instant, the change in him.

“Dominus?” You approached him, heart sinking at the way his eyes momentarily lost focus, at the way his face went slack, all of him utterly empty for a moment. A wild fear gripped your heart, surely she wouldn’t poison him? “Dominus? Dominus!” You almost scream, pushing between him and the desk to pull his face up.

“Hmmm?” For a moment he couldn’t focus, and it looked as though he might faint into a feverish sleep but then his eyes found yours and he smiled, truly smiled.

“Dominus—“ he moved cat-quick, pulling you into his embrace roughly.

“Gods above, why do you smell so good?” He pressed his nose to your chest, pulling in greedy sniffs of you while his hands slipped under your tunic.

“Dominus, are you well? What is happening?” You tried to get him to look at you, but his eyes were focused on his hands, on pulling at the seams of your tunic. You can’t help but let out a little scream when he rips it open.

“I am going to die if you don’t sit on my cock this instant, Girl, I need it, I need to feel you, I need to take you—fill you with my seed.” He moans out the words, more desperate than you’ve ever seen him and for a moment you give in, his face tilted up to beckon your mouth to his.

There is a strange taste in his mouth, something honeyed and full of an almost seductive smoke.

You pull away despite his iron grip on your waist.

“Dominus, Dominus wait—” You try to look into his eyes again but it’s like he’s not there. Something in you awakens, and you do something you’ve never even considered, you do something that could cost you your life. You strike him clean across the face.

The crack of it is loud enough, and hard enough to stop him cold.

“Dominus—I beg your forgiveness but I need you to listen to my words—I think Lavinia has slipped you some sort of love potion, some magic to seduce you—“ your hands shake as you speak to him, praying to all the Gods that you aren’t punished for trying to help him.

“Girl…” he speaks slowly, his face splotchy and red and an ache builds in your throat, fear threatening you with tears. “Girl, I think you may be right.” He trembles slightly, his skin warm where you still touch him. You can see the effort on his face to keep himself under control, to keep his wits about him as the potion works through his body.

He stands, swaying slightly and takes the bottle to the door while you watch, clutching at your ripped tunic. He hands it to one of his guards and instructs him to dispose of it, to not let anyone have any of it because it is corrupted.

“Shall I get you something else?”

“I need your body, Girl.” He holds onto the wall for a moment to steady himself, his eyes cast downwards. “I need to bury myself inside you, I am sick with it, I feel as though if I don’t I will surely die.” His eyes are red when they find yours and there is a fire there you have only ever seen after a battle.

“If you do not desire this, then leave and lock yourself in your chambers. I will make do with my fist.” He takes a steadying breath, waiting with an almost divine patience despite his state.

The anger you feel for Lavinia knows no bounds, that she would resort to something like this to force him to give her his body makes your blood boil. The way in which he devours you however, that makes your cunt clench and drip for him.

“I am yours, Dominus.” You let the tunic fall and beckon to him with open arms. You see his prowess in the moment it takes him to cross the room and all but dig his fingers into you. His mouth is insistent, his hands are rough at your waist and on your breasts, his passion is hard as steel at your hip where it digs into your skin, all of his sharp desire, his sharp edges scraping at your softness with an inhuman strength.

“I am in pain Girl, every fucking inch of me aches—“ his words are a painful moan as he all but tears at his layers. You help as best you can and once he is bare you gasp. His cock is so red, his balls look so swollen, you think he really might burst if he does not find his release.

There is no time for gentle touch.

You turn and bend over his desk uncaring of his papers falling to the floor and present your backside to him. It’s with trembling hands that he slots his cock at your entrance. He enters you with one brutal shove of his hips and moans like you’ve never heard him moan before. Despite your own arousal, you wince.

“Forgive me Girl, I cannot be gentle-“ He does not ease you into it, it is a rough pushing and pulling of himself into your sex and he is too thick, too deep, you feel him in your lungs, in your throat.

“I do not wish to hurt you, but you feel so fucking good, so tight, so wet I cannot stop myself.” His words help, his true nature helps. You focus on the feel of him, on the reassuring grip of his big hands on your hips, on the noises he makes as his groin hits the plump of your ass with every sharp thrust.

Your cunt leaks around him, coating him, raising the volume on the sounds of your coupling and before long he’s pulled you up, his chin resting over your shoulder while one hand holds onto your breast tight enough to almost hurt.

“Here it comes—“ he barely gives a warning before he groans long and loud, filling your poor little cunt with his gift. He presses his forehead to the back of your neck, taking greedy pulls of air into his lungs while he keeps himself buried deep.

You catch your breath for a moment before he pulls out and turns you to face him. His eyes are shut tight, and then he looks down. His cock has not softened, it looks just as angry, just as hard as it did before, his balls still heavy and full of seed.

“I fear I may be like this for a while, the pain returns even as I stand here.”

You sit him in his chair and climb onto him, sheathing him inside you once more but this time, with his mess and your arousal easing his passage, and you setting the pace things are better.

“I will take care of you Dominus, let me take the pain away.” You wrap your arms around him and slip your tongue into his mouth with a deep kiss, relishing the noise he feeds directly into your lungs. His arms are a cage around your ribs, tight enough to make you fight for every breath but it matters not. He feels so good like this, so deep and with every roll of your hips his noises become more frantic, more imploring.

He comes again almost without warning as you keep your rhythm, wincing when he tightens his grip a little more but still, he does not soften.

He lets out a whine, a pathetic, gorgeous thing when you keep rolling your hips, clenching around him in search of your own climax.

“Please Girl, please please, I beg of you, milk my cock, I need to spill inside you again, over and over, please—“ his voice is not his own, it’s some needy, powerless creature under your spell and you want nothing more than to oblige him. You speed up despite the sweat shining on your shin, despite the ache in your body and again he spills, crying out like a teenage boy touching a woman for the first time.

“Again Dominus?” You’re tired, but it feels so good, and the desperate, slack jawed expression makes you ache for your own climax.

“Yes Girl, Gods yes- again—“ he helps you move, your sweat slicked flesh spilling between his fingers, his lap is a mess of his own seed and your arousal, you cannot stop now. He takes your nipple into his mouth just as his thumb slips into the mess between your thighs and swirls it around your clit.

Your own climax hits you like a slap across the face- all at once making you seize and he comes again at the feel of it, both of you suspended in exquisite agony.

You are truly sore now, every muscle aches, everything burns.

“Dominus- I don’t think my body can handle more.” You brush back his hair, placing a small kiss where you slapped him.

“It is a little better now, come to my bed with me.”

Hours pass, and he still stands at attention but he relieves himself with his fist as you lay on his bed. He begs for your hand, and you oblige him. He begs to look at your cunt, and you show him, he begs to let him paint your breasts in his seed, and you position yourself for him, until he finally softens and rests.

You cleanse him, and yourself, and fall into his arms, asleep before you’re fully settled.

He does not leave his chambers the next day, and orders you to take a full day of rest yourself. While grateful to sleep and give your tired body time to recover, part of you fears he might not want to see you, but then one of the older women brings a feast to your chambers at his instruction, good wine and more food than you could eat in a whole day and you know you are forgiven.

You smile around your bites of food, content with your thoughts of what he might do in retaliation.

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#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #marcus acacius #marcus acacius x reader #general marcus acacius #marcus acacius x you #marcus acacius x female reader #marcus acacius smut #marcus acacius fanfiction #gladiator 2 #gladiator ii

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sugurouge · 1 month ago

Text

— my favourite pain : blade x f!reader

contains! — mdni: DARK CONTENT, smut, angst, toxic + unestablished relationship, jealousy, mentally unstable blade, minor hunter/prey, reader is being carried around, possessiveness, manhandling, physical abuse (strangulation & hair pulling), marking, irrational behaviour, praise, petnames (pretty girl), there's a backstory to explain certain reasons to their behaviour — 5k words

summary: a tale about blade's very own paradise he deemed himself undeserving of. his best intentions harboured rotten fruit, fuelling resentment that tore them apart. until weeks later, a mara-struck blade is out to finish what they've started.

You haven’t seen Blade in weeks, yet he remains plaguing your mind like an ever-looming presence—a forbidden fruit you crave more than you would ever dare admit.

At the same time, you’re also the traitor who called the Cloud Knights on him: it was a desperate, vengeful act born of being once more used for salvation, drained of all the kindness residing in your heart to help calm the hurricane in his mind.

For long, he had done the same thing—appearing uninvited, expecting you to welcome him back into his personal Garden of Eden: the tender warmth of your hold. Forcing you to pity a selfish man who robbed you of the chance to find lasting love when he claimed your heart. He made it clear he wanted nothing more than those fleeting encounters, never trespassing the line that would make you lovers rather than acquaintances.

But your heart wanted something different.

He never touched you indecently, never did what you craved for him to do—only held you in his embrace, lips ghosting along your neck and chest until the drumming of your pulse paled in comparison to the need between your thighs.

But nothing ever happened. Once morning came, Blade was gone, leaving only the icy gift of loneliness in his stead, until the Mara welled up again.

The abomination returned to your doorstep time and time again.

You ruminate about Blade as you pour your cup of tea, wondering if the Cloud Knights truly managed to imprison him again. Is he rotting in the Shackled Prison once more because of your pettiness? The only thing you’re certain of: you’d be the first person he’d kill if he ever escaped.

However, the gust of air kissing the back of your neck and creeping beneath your night robes tears you from those spiralling thoughts. It causes chills to creep down your spine as you cautiously glance over your shoulder, scanning the darkened room awaiting behind the comfort of your dimly lit kitchen.

You’ve grown accustomed to searching for said criminal in crowds, used to meeting his red eyes in places he should never set foot back in. But this is the first time the feeling of being watched greets you in your very home. Blade had always been polite enough to knock before. But back then, you hadn’t yet betrayed his trust either.

Trying to focus back on your tea seems like a good call, to finish the preparations and retreat to the safety of your bedroom—away from the eerie open spaces and dark corners until sunrise. If it wasn’t for your shaking form locking you in place. The stiffness in your shoulders deepens as the hairs on the back of your neck stand and a bead of cold sweat trickles down your spine.

You hear him—hear the skilled footsteps of a hunter stalking its prey, hear the scraping of his blade along the floor—and silently, you pray to the Aeons for a quick death.

Perhaps, if you believe it all to be a bad dream, you can escape this situation, can wake up and blink away the nightmare while tucked into the warmth of your bed. So, your eyes press shut in terror, hands balling into fists as your survival instincts scream for action.

The sound of his weapon hitting the floor shatters your fragile hope and frees you from your stupor. It forces you to turn around upon the first touch of bandaged hands on your skin. But your wrist is caught before your palm can make contact with his beautiful, haunting face. Blade greets you once more with those familiar, empty eyes tearing through all your walls in a matter of seconds.

He looks worse than ever. The past weeks must have taken a terrible toll on his already fragile sanity. You’ve never seen him this conflicted, never witnessed so much pain etched into his features.

The Mara has struck again, and again, feeding on him relentlessly.

How much of the man he once was remains? The thought almost makes you forget your circumstances.

It’s no surprise that he managed to escape the Cloud Knights again. Those feeble guards could never keep him under control—no one can. Unlike the sickness coursing through his very being, tainting him, dragging him deeper into despair with every strike.

And yet, he couldn’t stop thinking of you, couldn’t stop yearning for the comfort you provide. He knows he’s hurt you, knows he’s taken advantage of you and robbed you of all that is good. But how could he act selflessly when you’re the closest thing to the sweet release he so craves? In you, he imagines himself embraced by peace, by calm, by freedom from all this hatred—since the nothingness he longs for won't open the gates for him. What a sweet fantasy.

“No, no, no…” Blade murmurs in response to your attempt at violence while his fingers grasp your chin, effectively allowing him to savour the tumultuous rollercoaster of emotions reflected in your worried expression. “You’re not going to rat me out and hurt me,” he mutters, bumping the tip of his nose against yours and cooling your heated cheeks as a low chuckle escapes him. Your body stiffens at his unnerving affection. “I can forgive you for calling the guards. I know I’ve hurt you; I am hurting you—”

“Then stop.” You’re quick to interrupt, eager to regain some fickle sense of control, unfortunately, your eyes betray you. Blade’s brows crease as he seems to stare straight into your soul, as though he is already lost in you. “But I need you,” he mumbles against the soft flesh of your lips before his head dips lower, his kisses branding your neck. Strong arms wrap around your waist as your palms desperately push against his unmoving chest, trying in vain to remain resolute in your decision to cast him out.

You want more from your mortal life than to be a charging station for a criminal.

But the protest of calling his name turns out to be a futile effort as your voice comes out as nothing but a soft plea, a gentle moan born of his selfish deeds.

You fill Blade with an uncountable amount of pride when you melt into his embrace like you’ve always belonged, claiming a space he holds only for you. His hand reaches beneath your clothes, a fingertip tracing the length of your spine until you arch into him ever so perfectly. He witnesses the shivers coursing through your body as his ragged breaths drag you back to a hell you thought you’d escaped.

Any protests you clung on to are discarded. Any scream stuck in your throat as his heaving chest rises against yours while sultry whispers of sweetness lure you down a path of despair. “I need you more than I want to,” the confession vibrates low against your skin while strong hands take hold of your thighs to effortlessly lift you off your feet, pinning you against the nearest wall to allow for a quick ridding of your silk dress. “I need to have you whole—all of you.”

Blade feels nothing but greed when it comes to you. There is no space left for consideration, no room for manners after the time he had spent alone again—not when you look like his personal angel. A sinner Blade has been for centuries, a criminal, a wanted man ever since he returned to this world instead of passing away when he consumed life itself. Yet never, in all this time, has the Mara affected his feelings in such a primitive way.

His lips ravage your skin as he presses himself into you, seeking solace in your warmth, your racing heart, the drumming pulse he can feel beneath his kisses. Every trace of friction is claimed as though it’s his right, as though you truly are his.

Lust clouds your better judgement upon the passion you’re drowning in. Blade floods over you. The fighting spirit you once held is beaten by desire. By everything you wanted from Blade for so long. Too long, all you had was his embrace, but now, tonight, you’re swept away by his need until you can no longer swim against the tide.

Hold onto him.

Your arms find their way around his neck and shoulders, allowing yourself to pull him closer into you and listen to his sounds of satisfaction. Your fingers thread through dark locks, tugging sharply at the roots—just how he loves it, you realise upon the smirk on his face, upon the raspy moan as his hips jerk forward against you. “Careful what you wish for now,” he warns, the words nothing but another breathed sensation against the shell of your ear.

But all you care about is how close he is, how warm he feels, how intoxicating his scent is.

You hum in bliss as your nose trails along his neck, lips brushing against his sharp jawline. The embrace tightens as though you never want to let go. “I only ever wished for you,” you whisper. The sweet words coat his lips like honey as they meet yours in a deep kiss, threatening to steal the very air from your lungs.

A gasp of surprise fills your chest as Blade lifts you from the wall, carrying you through your home while his reckless lips taint your skin. He paints you as his possession through the sting of his teeth against your skin, suckling and licking as if he could taste your pulse if he dug just a little deeper.

You would never be able to admit that you’ve been entirely devoured by his gluttony. Mind and body all consumed by Blade. Even undoing his jacket proves a struggle as your fingers fumble with the buttons.

Blade could find amusement in your clumsiness if it weren’t for the irritation he feels upon walking into your door. Instead of opening it in one smooth motion, he presses you against the hardwood. You seize the opportunity with that old, stuck door, letting your legs wrap tightly around his waist, banishing any distance that once remained between your bodies.

A shameless moan escapes you at the feeling of his erection pressing against your tainted panties once more, the sensation so delicious and promising. And he rewards you with a throaty groan.

“Devil,” Blade groans at your attack. One more move like this and he’ll take you here if you’re not careful. “I need to feel you. I want to taste you, pretty girl.” At that, you grin—it’s the first pet name he’s ever used, and it’s utterly endearing.

“Then don’t make me wait, Mr Criminal.” You can’t refuse to open the door in his stead, fully aware he’s forgotten his earlier plans of carrying you to your bedroom when he can instead feel you fully in this position.

You steal the balance from his hold, catching him completely off guard as you let him stumble into the room. “Careful, Bladie,” you tease further, with a sudden discovery of bravery; mischief laces your soft voice, only to be muted by his advances as he hoists you up onto your dresser.

“Bladie?” he repeats with slight apprehension.

Yet the cheerful expression on your face makes him forget about the somewhat irritating spider that loves to use the same nickname. Why not let you have your fun? Why not lean into it? Why not join you? Blade thinks as he closes the distance, capturing your lips while carelessly brushing aside jewellery and picture frames once neatly placed on top of the furniture to create further room.

But you don’t have time to reciprocate his kiss, refusing his advances like he means nothing as you reach for the frames tumbling off the edge. “Don’t!” you cry in panic, barely managing to catch one before it falls. He watches in confusion as you clutch the frame to your chest like it’s your most prized possession. The reaction wipes the grin off Blade’s lips, leaving him wondering about the importance until, a second later, he snatches the item from your grasp.

Narrowed eyes drop to stare at the photo within—a picture of you with another man, a face he doesn’t recognise. Proudly standing beside the beauty Blade knows is a handsome man, a decent bit older than you, but age doesn't seem to be a concern to you.

What Blade doesn’t know is that this man is someone gone, someone who once saved you. Someone who picked you up from the streets and helped you grow into the woman you are today.

The envy seeps through his veins, bringing his blood to boil with frightening speed, causing his chest to feel heavy, until he shuts out any outside noise as raging questions of your loyalty and his hatred echo in his mind.

Who is this? What is a picture of some other man doing in your room? You’re his. That’s why he came back. For you. To finally give himself to you. But you…

The Mara always strikes in fragile moments, ready to reclaim him. Your hands, desperate and pleading, are brushed off like whispers in the wind. Your voice, frantic and trembling, is drowned out by the storm within him. You’re unable to penetrate the walls that are erecting around Blade’s body and heart.

There’s that familiar expression on his face again, one etched with dread and hatred. That same tell-tale sign you’ve come to recognise.

Calling his name offers no forgiveness, only anguish, as strong fingers snake around your neck, his fingertips pressing down until you’re gasping, until eyes of madness meet your scared gaze as he draws close. It feels eerily similar to the first time your foreheads touched—yet nothing like it at all. The moment holds no tenderness; this time, you fear for your life.

Blade has lost himself before, but never like this. Never in a way that truly hurt you. And hurt it does as he fists a hand into your hair, forcing you further into submission, exposing your near-naked figure to the brutal moonlight while the monster looms over you.

“Someone else?” A near unfamiliar voice questions. It’s nothing like the tender rasp you’re used to. The picture you had tried so desperately to protect shatters against the floor, erupting a sob from your struggling throat.

“Betrayed me for that…” he mumbles to himself, twisting the narrative in his mind, bending it to feed the hatred coursing through him.

His grip on you tightens.

It hurts. Truly stings how you’re being handled; the pain is as sharp as his accusations, branding you as a traitor. “No, Blade, please, just lis—”

Yet, your protests die as the hand around your throat tightens. A little more strength and he might snap your neck then and there. He can feel it beneath his palm—the frantic race of your pulse, your desperate attempts to swallow, your panicked fight for air.

Why is he hurting you? Didn’t he come here for salvation?

Blade stares down at you, the chaos in his mind giving way to something softer—something broken. His grip loosens, and the rage that burns in his chest starts to crumble, leaving behind guilt so heavy it threatens to crush him. His hands tremble once they release their hold, ghosting over your irritated skin in apology.

“You’re all I want,” Blade confesses, voice nothing but a whisper as he stumbles over his words. “What I came back for... does he give you wh—” His voice falters, unable to finish the sentence when your eyes lock with his. It was like a knife to the gut. In that fleeting moment, he felt every ounce of his confidence and ruthlessness crumble.

The air rushed in so sharply that it felt like new life was flooding your lungs, overwhelming you like the man who caused the pain. You gasp pathetically, your body trembling as you struggle to steady yourself—to comfort yourself.

“I’m not seeing another man.” The words follow quietly but firmly, as the pain you experience keeps your voice low. “I didn’t want to see anyone else.”

Blade’s entire being seems to cave in at that. The guilt floods him, pulling him deeper and deeper until it threatens to swallow him. His shoulders sag, his face contorts with an agony he can no longer hide. How had he let this happen? He had sworn to never hurt you, to never let his demons break what was left of the only good thing in his life. And yet, here he was, broken by the very thing he feared most.

He had failed you. Failed himself.

He can’t bear to look at you, not now, not when the consequences of his actions stare right back at him. His head falls against your shoulder, seeking comfort in your warmth—despite everything. Your embrace was the only thing that anchored him to this world.

His fingers tremble as they brush against your back, a futile attempt to atone for the chaos he’d caused. Your hands, though, cling to him. Even as you flinched, your touch remained unwavering.

"I'm sorry," he breathes. The confession is barely audible, heavy with sorrow that cuts deeper than any wound ever could. His forehead touches yours, the gesture so tender, so unlike the man he was just moments ago. "I'm so sorry."

The air hangs thick between you, but instead of pulling away, he stays close. His fingers skim along the curve of your face as though you might shatter under his touch. His lips, so often twisted into a scowl or smirk, brush against the corner of your mouth with a gentleness that takes you by surprise.

The madness that consumed him moments ago retreats into the depths of his soul, leaving a hollow ache in its place. Blade cups your face with trembling hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears that streak your cheeks. “I’m so sorry,” he repeats.

“Blade…” your voice is soft and fragile, and your hands come up to rest on his wrists. You search his eyes, the wild, unrelenting storm now replaced by a man drowning in remorse.

“It’s… it’s okay,” your voice cracks as you try to speak louder, and Blade's heart twists at the sound. The rasp of your words is like a slap to his face, a reminder of the damage he caused. “You didn’t do it on purpose,” you whisper while you seek comfort in the curve of his neck. Your fingers run shakily through his hair, offering him a softness he doesn’t deserve.

In that silence, a heavyweight settles between you, like a promise unspoken. He can feel your fear, the way your body stiffens ever so slightly against him. You are afraid. Afraid of him, afraid of what he can do. And yet, here you are, offering him kindness despite all.

It tears at him.

His mind fights with itself, battling the guilt, the regret, the shame. All the anger and pain he holds inside, all the monsters he refuses to face, melting away at the sight of you. The truth is clear: he needs you. You are the only thing that can silence the madness inside him, the only one who can put him back together.

“But I need you.” The confession slipped out of him, once again. It was more than a plea; it was the truth that had festered inside him for so long.

You pull away, your hands trembling as they push against his chest. There is fear in your eyes. He can see it. You are terrified of what he is capable of, terrified of what might happen if you let him truly have you. Yet, your body betrays your words, your fingers still fisting his jacket, holding him close as though you can’t bear to let go.

“You will find someone who does the same, better than me,” you say gently, but your voice wavers, a crack in your resolve. “Someone stronger.” He sees the doubt in your eyes, the inner struggle that mirrors his own. You don’t want to let him go, not really. But you are trying to protect yourself, trying to shield your heart from the man who has hurt you more times than you can count.

"Once more, let me hold you... just once," Blade whispers against your ear, his voice barely audible, trembling with the weight of his desire. "Again and again, forevermore. I don’t want anyone else."

His words are like a prayer. A plea. But it is his actions that speak louder as he pulls you closer, pressing a kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering.

"Let me make it right," he murmurs, his voice low, pleading. His hands glide down your body, carefully tracing the outline of your waist, your hips, your thighs. Blunt fingernails drag along the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, dangerously close to where you always wanted him to be most. Your breath hitches, and the sound draws a low hum of satisfaction from him.

“Like nobody else,” Blade whispers, his lips ghosting over your collarbone as his fingers dip between your folds. “So beautiful.”

A gasp escapes you as he spreads your arousal, his movements deliberate, unhurried. He’s careful, near worshipful, every touch made to remind you of the connection you’ve always craved from him. His fingers pump into you, curling with each slow drag to find that spot that has you keening, your toes curling as pleasure courses through you.

Your thighs instinctively press against his sides, but he holds you there, caged between his chest and the wall, his eyes locked onto yours. Foreheads resting together, his gaze is searching, desperate, as though trying to memorise every detail of this moment before it slips away.

“Let me make it all up. Let me look after you. Let me…” He trails off as he claims your lips in a deep, searing kiss. His tongue brushes against yours, slow and intoxicating, before his teeth catch your lower lip, tugging just enough to make you whimper. The sound nearly undoes him, his resolve faltering as he feels you tighten around his fingers.

But instead of devouring you whole, he—ever so carefully—gathers you in his arms and carries you to bed. While his actions remain gentle, as if you might shatter if handled too roughly, his eyes roam shamelessly over your naked figure, addicted to every curve. Your back meets the soft mattress while he remains standing at the edge of the bed, as if contemplating whether to truly infiltrate your sanctuary.

If it weren’t for your hands reaching out after you crawl over to where he stands, to invite him in, they explore his body, gliding upward until you can shrug off his coat, the fabric landing carelessly on the hardwood—revealing scars that criss-cross his entire torso—evidence of battles fought and lost, of the pain he carries every day, of the brutal punishment he endured.

Your fingers brush over them, tentative at first, then firmer as you lean up to kiss each mark. The tenderness in your actions draws a sharp inhale from him. He watches you, his crimson eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that might leave you addicted to his attention.

Your lips trail lower, down his stomach to the waistband of his trousers, kisses shameless upon the effect you have on his body. But before you can go further, his hands are on you again. He hoists you effortlessly back into the bed, drawing a surprised yelp from you upon the sudden shift in position.

He looms above you, his lips finding yours again as his hand trails down your body, worshipping every inch of you. "You’ll have to behave, pretty girl," he murmurs, his voice tinged with warmth as he kisses a path down your body.

His trousers join the discarded cloak on the floor, and he drags his nails up your thighs, teasing, coaxing. His hands find the backs of your knees, parting your legs as he positions himself between them. “I’ll give you everything,” he breathes, “Everything I have to give.” Leaning over you, his long strands of hair fall around his face, framing his sharp features most perfectly. His strength presses you gently but firmly into the mattress, holding you in place as he leans in.

The stretch as he enters is slow, every inch of him pushing into you until he bottoms out. A shuddered breath escapes his lips once he stills, his forehead pressing against yours once more.

“I know, I know,” he shushes with a tender kiss to your forehead as you claw at his back, nails dragging ever so perfectly for him to struggle to remain still inside you. “You’re doing so well,” he encourages upon the whimper you let out, your back arching off the mattress upon the waves of pleasure you try to accommodate.

Blade can’t resist moving his hips, pulling back almost entirely only to stretch you anew, to feel you struggle to stay sane. Hips snapping against yours with a rhythm that speaks of both desperation and devotion. His body cloaks yours, his hair brushing against your skin as he leans over, kissing your lips, your cheeks, your neck. The weight of his guilt lingers in every touch, every kiss, every thrust, as though he’s trying to atone for the pain he’s caused.

The moon casts its silvery light through the window, illuminating the room in a quiet glow. Shadows dance along the walls as Blade moves against you, his body pressing into yours with every deep thrust. The rhythm he sets is steady yet intense, his movements precise while holding you close.

His touch is gentle, like you’re his most prized possession—sacred. Roughened hands, scarred and calloused, trace the curve of your waist, memorising the soft rise and fall of your body beneath him while whispering sweet praise that will remain in your memory longer than his presence.

“So perfect,” Blade murmurs, his voice low, barely more than a breath. The heat of it sends shivers down your spine. “So good to me.”

Your hands tangle in his dark hair, pulling him closer as your bodies move together in a rhythm that feels perfect. His breath is warm on your neck, his lips ghosting over your pulse before trailing fleeting kisses along the line of your jaw.

The drag of his body against yours, the way he stretches you, fills you—each movement sends sparks of pleasure through your body, building until you’re breathless, lost in the haze.

But even in this closeness, even with his skin pressed so tightly against yours, there’s a shadow behind his eyes. A heaviness clings to him. You can feel it even as he murmurs praises against your skin, even as his hands tighten around your hips like he’s afraid to let go.

“Blade,” you moan his name gently, as if you could ground him here, keeping him from slipping away if you just showed him how good he makes you feel.

His lips claim yours again, deepening the kiss upon first contact for his tongue to move against yours, drawing a soft moan from you that only seems to affect him further. His hands take hold of your thighs as he thrusts harder, his resolve faltering over the sound of your voice, the way you breathe his name—it’s too much, and yet it’s not enough.

“Stay with me,” you murmur against his lips, though your words are muffled by his kiss.

His response is a low, guttural sound as his hips thrust harder, faster. He’s unravelling, his need for you dulling every other thought. Equally, the pleasure builds in your core, coiling tight until it snaps, until you fall apart beneath him, with him.

The way you tighten around him draws a shudder from his body, and he follows you moments later, his release consuming him as he buries himself deep inside you. His forehead rests against yours, his breath ragged as his body shakes with the force of it.

For a brief moment, everything stills. His weight on top of you grounds you in the quiet aftermath, his chest heaving in time with yours as your breaths meet in the space between your sore-kissed lips.

But the silence stretches, and the weight in your chest grows heavier. Even as his hands remain on your skin, tracing mindless patterns along your hips, he feels distant, like he’s already slipping away.

You lift a hand, brushing your fingers along his jaw to lure his gaze back to yours. “Blade?”

His gaze meet yours, and for a brief moment, his expression softens. But it feels safer to let his eyes fall shut, as if he were to try and shield himself from your influence, from the words you might say.

He presses one last kiss to your forehead, lingering there for a moment longer than he should.

When the two of you finally untangle, Blade doesn’t leave your side. Instead, he lies beside you, propped up on one elbow as his other hand brushes the hair from your face.

“Sleep,” he commands softly, almost tenderly.

But you hesitate, your fingers curling into his arm as if to tether him to you. “You’ll stay?” The question cuts through him like iron. He forces a small smile. “I’ll stay.”

What a sweet lie.

Yet, the exhaustion overtakes as his warmth surrounds you. You allow your eyes to flutter shut, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you feel safe. Blade, however, remains awake, his eyes fixed on you, drinking in the sight of you at peace. There’s a softness in your features that makes his heart ache.

He doesn’t leave a note. There’s nothing he could say that would make up for what he’s done, for what he’s about to do. All he can do is disappear, sparing you the burden of his sickness, his sins, his darkness.

dividers by @/cafekitsune + @/anitalenia

#hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #blade x reader smut #hsr blade smut #blade x reader #hsr smut #hsr x reader smut #honkai star rail smut #honkai star rail x you #blade x you #honkai star rail x reader smut #blade #about.bladie #─ .✦ winter's words #cw toxic relationship #cw physical abuse #cw mental illness #♡ྀི — winde

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thymejot · 3 months ago

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Since the moment of Nickys birth, Agatha has been using Rio. She used her as a scapegoat from her own complex emotions. She then projects all her pain, her overwhelming loss, her guilt, and her feeling of responsibility for his death onto Rio as well.

Because Rio is death, an immutable immovable object that can take all the hits Agatha throws at her. All the sharpened barbs made to lay waste to anyone else, anyone weaker.

Agatha knows exactly how much to twist the knife to have the most impact.

She knows Rio will take every drop of her rancour, every ounce of her self-loathing, every rend Agatha can inflict. Then, in a few days or months, Rio will be there once more full of fervour with a flower in hand.

So when Agatha makes the deal with Rio to give up Billy in exchange for Rio never darkening her doorstep again. She never ever thought that this would be the final push that would cause death to falter.

Rio has for so long been a physical embodiment of Agatha's external self hatred that the moment that Rio agrees, it all falls apart.

The safety Agatha had in her hatred of Rio crumbles, and all that is left is the realisation that the one person left on this earth that truly understood her pain, that loved all that she was had finally given up on her.

As Rio walks away, you can see the disbelief, her hurt and the utter terror of losing Rio forever hit her. So, this right here is the exact moment when Agatha's fate was sealed.

Because Agatha is so deeply selfish.

The final act of reneging on the deal, pulling Rio into her arms, drawing death into herself, was never about saving Billy.

This was as close to supplication as Agatha is capable of. There is no universe in which Agatha ever says the words 'sorry'.

This was forgive me. I love you. I want you.

This was, I will bury myself so deep into you that you will never be able to truly be rid of me. I will drink the poison of your lips while filling you so full to the brim with me so that I fully cement myself inside you. You will carry the weight of me with you until there is nothing left but ashes and the taste of my lips on yours.

Rio crumbles under the deluge of it all. She takes it all in. She is so full of Agatha that she never truly sees what is happening until it is already over.

The immutable unchanging death finally faltered twice in as many hours. Once more, Agatha proves that she is not Rio's scar, but the torn open bleeding heart of her

No wonder Rio did not have it in her to collect Agathas soul

Even in her most hated form, a world with Agatha in it is a world with hope for Rio. Agatha will weasel her way out of final death, and when she does, Rio will be waiting with fervour and a flower. Like always

#i rambled in someones tags about this but wanted to articulate is mre here #because that kiss was many things #but it was not agatha giving #she will not go gracefully into that final sleep she will manipulate and cajole and bargain until she rises again #and she will do it with style and pizazz and scathing wit #this kiss is so many things #yes it is agatha taking a gamble #but is was always something much deeper too #agatha all along spoilers #agatha all along #agatha harkness #rio vidal #vidarkness

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lvrhughes · 4 months ago

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Matching | N. Hischier

pairing: Nico Hischier x fem!reader

word count: 1.18k

summary: At a halloween party, you and Nico are unknowingly matching, then at the end of the night Nico confesses his love.

warnings: drinking?

requested: no

not my gif!

“You’re here!” Dougie practically yelled, trying to get his voice over the loud music that seemed to seep from every wall.

“You’re lucky I love you.” You rolled your eyes towards him, reminding him of the countless times he’d begged you to come over the week

He’d spent the week showing up to your doorstep or work with a coffee, begging for you to at least stop by his halloween party. He’d claimed it wouldn’t be as good without your presence, claiming that no matter if his entire team was there, he still needed his best friend.

So you showed.

Arriving in the costume you’d managed to throw together, hoping it would fit up to standard for the night. Brushing your hair back once more while you stood with Dougie, smoothing the dress out while you scoped out the room shortly after.

“What are you?”

The question slipped from Dougie’s lips, urging his to rush to rephrase the sentence after you glared in his direction. Fixing your dress again before turning back to him and answering.

“Could you not tell that I’m a cow?”

It was a stupid costume, you’d admit it, it was made with very low effort but it worked. The dress was flattering and with a few black patches throw onto it for the night, it made an easy costume.

“I was guessing, but you can’t just call a girl a cow now can you?”

Dougie smiled as he spoke, urging you to roll your eyes at him before placing a playful hit to his arm. Confirming that calling a girl a cow is not the right move before watching his eyes light up.

“You know, I think you gotta go visit Cap.”

There was a smirk on Dougie’s face as he spoke, his hand moving to your back to push you towards his swiss captain. The same captain who stood just off to the side of you and Dougie, talking to a few of his teammates, wearing a simple cowboy costume.

His body covered in a simple button up, jeans, boots, and a hat. All tailored to perfection. Hugging his body perfectly as if to accentuate it more, even if unnecessary.

Before you could think about the outfit more, Dougie had shoved you forwards. Leaving you to fall into the side of Nico, his arm wrapping around your waist to steady you quickly.

“Woah, you okay?”

Nico was staring at you, wide eyes and pupils dilated, as your hands fell to his chest, attempting to regain some balance.

“I am so sorry, Dougie pushed me and-”

“It’s okay, are you okay?”

He repeated himself, his hand dropping to your waist while yours stayed planted on his chest, his body turned to face yours now.

“‘M okay.”

You nodded, your cheeks flushing as you realized you still had a hold on Nico, dropping your hands quickly. His hand stayed on your waist, keeping you close as he turned back to his teammates, rejoining the conversation with ease.

“Wait, are you two matching?”

Jack stopped the conversation, noticing the fitting costumes between you and Nico. His eyes flicking back and forth while waited for an answer.

“Not intentionally.”

Jack laughed at the confession, sending a knowing smirk to Nico after you spoke. Nico’s cheeks darkened at the look, looking at the ground before returning to the conversation once more.

You stayed tucked in Nico’s hold for almost half an hour before deeming you needed a drink, shifting in his hold just enough to gain his attention, watching him look towards you before you spoke.

“I need a drink.”

He nodded, simply leading you towards the kitchen, his hands never leaving your waist. His grip stayed even as you reached to grab a drink, making it a little more awkward but who were you to complain when the hot captain of the New Jersey Devils wanted to hold you?

Nico led you back to the group after, moving you around to leave you standing in front of him, his arms resting on top of your shoulders. You stayed there for the night, not wanting to move from the warmth of his hold, simply making your way around the room by following Nico.

By the end of the night, you’d managed talking to almost everyone with Nico, letting him lead you around to other teammates or friends of his before settling down on the couch. The room had mostly emptied, leaving only a few other teammates of his in the room, Dougie pacing the room to clean up the mess of discarded cups from his house.

“Neeks?”

He glanced at you, seeing you looking up at him already. He nodded for you to continue, keeping his eyes on you, ignoring the yelling of the few, drunk, teammates left.

“Why’d you stay with me all night?”

Nico seemed to shy away at the question, his cheeks dusting in a soft pink color. He sent a awkward smile towards you before sighing, internally thinking before looking back at you to speak.

“I think I love you.” He paused before continuing, watching the confusion run through your features, “No, I know I love you. I think even when Dougie first introduced you I loved you, you’re so beautiful and smart and funny, but I couldn’t say that before, it was never right. First you had a boyfriend,”

He reminded you of the small man who you dated to try to ignore the butterflies that seemed to appear when Dougie introduced you to Nico, dumping him two weeks later when he cheated on you.

“Then I had a girlfriend.”

The girl Nico tried to date to forget you, getting himself dumped when he got drunk once and confessed to said girl how much he wanted you.

“Then we never seemed to meet.”

He wasn’t wrong. It was like the world wanted you two apart, scheduling games at the worst times or in another city and your work schedule seemed never ending. This had been the first time you’d seen Nico in two weeks.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, I just needed you to know.”

You sat wide-eyed looking at him, the realization of what Nico had just confessed hitting you quickly. You shook your head, moving to straddle his lap before you spoke.

“Nico, I love you too.”

His eyes lit up at the words, his hands placed on your hips once again while a smile broke out over his face. You moved your hands to cup his cheeks, smiling back at him.

“Can I kiss you?”

Nico whispered, barely loud enough but you heard. Nodding at him as he slowly leaned in, urging him to move the rest of the way. Connecting your lips, letting your body melt against his while his arms slipped around your waist to pull you closer to him, if even possible.

“I think this means I get to be your girlfriend now.”

Your forehead was pressed against his, letting your breaths mix in between as you pulled back, staring at Nico as he smiled.

“I think so too.”

#mads writings!#nico hischier #nico hischier x reader #nico hischier imagine #new jersey devils #nj devils #nhl imagine #nhl x reader #nhl fanfiction #nj devils imagine

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fakeasmr · 2 years ago

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DAMN FUCKING STRAIGHT

bullshit I got a copyright claim on my little shop of horrors livestream. A film that was literally never copyrighted I had to restrain myself from typing threats to the claimant in the dispute explanation

#and they'll never darken my doorstep again if they know what's good for them

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alloftheimagines · 2 years ago

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jamie tartt | if somebody hurts you, i wanna fight

MASTERLIST | TAGLIST

words: 2.2k

warnings: 18+

domestic abuse, violence, trauma, the aftermath of an abusive relationship in which jamie finds out your boyfriend, his teammate, is abusing you. takes place when he's playing for manchester city.

prompt: Hey there! I would love to send a prompt request in for Jamie tartt:) number 29, I don’t know why but to me it fits him well! Nothing specific, thank you! 🥰

Jamie sees the bruises and knows. He’s never had a good feeling about your relationship with Tom, his teammate, but you’ve ignored his warnings despite being friends since childhood.

And now you’re hiding bruises. Anger flares in him, and it’s an effort not to reach out as you get up from the couch to grab popcorn, the staple of any movie night. He thought it strange you turned up on his doorstep after months of barely seeing you, but now he thinks he understands. Your T-shirt rode up for only a moment at your hip before you tugged it down, but he saw the purple welt. His jaw ticks as he listens to you shuffle about, but he can only wait so long. Fingers flexing at his side, he heads in to hear popcorn popping in the microwave.

“Do you want a beer?” you ask, oblivious. When he doesn’t reply, your brows furrow and you look up from the kitchen counter. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Has he been hurting you?” he questions steadily.

“What?” You’re a terrible actor, but you try nonetheless, eyes widening in feigned confusion.

Jamie takes a deep breath. “Don’t lie to me. I saw the bruises just now. There’s only reason why you wouldn’t tell me about them.”

It makes him sick as he realises the truth of those words; you’d hide it because you know Jamie would react badly, perhaps even sacrificing his spot on the team. Tom’s more popular with the fans, Man City’s star player. If Jamie confronted him… He knew it would be game over. That’s why you’d kept your distance.

And yet he still wanted to. He was already imagining it, shoving Tom against the lockers and beating him the way he’d beaten you. He’d teach him a lesson; nobody would ever hurt you again.

He wouldn’t let them.

You pale, tugging at the hem of your shirt again self-consciously. “I fell.”

Jamie shakes his head, barely even listening now. Lost to his fury. “I’ll teach that wanker a lesson. I’ll fucking kill ‘im. I knew he was trouble. I knew he was no fucking good for you—”

“Jamie, please.” You grab his arm, eyes flooding with tears as you look at him. It’s enough for him to halt, still glaring. “Don’t. Please. I’m handling it.”

“Are you still with ‘im?”

You hesitate at that, a look of shame darkening your features.

“Then you’re not fucking handling it,” he snaps.

“He won’t let me leave,” you whisper, chin wobbling. “I tried. That’s why he… I tried.”

His shoulders heaved with a sigh, but he softened, sympathy swirling in his eyes. “I can help you, love. You should have told me. You used to tell me everythin’.”

Tears slip down your cheeks as he cups your jaw, catching them.

“Hey,” he breathes gently. “It’s okay. You’re safe ‘ere. You know that, don’t you?”

A nod. He pulls you into his chest, and you wrap your arms around him, shuddering as it all comes spilling out. “I’m sorry. I thought he loved me. The first time… He was drunk. I thought he was just drunk. But then he kept… I’m just sorry.”

“No need to apologise, babe.” He plants a kiss in your hair. The microwave dings, the last remaining kernels popping behind the glass, but neither of you move to get it. “It’s not your fault. It’s never your fault.” He closes his eyes, pain searing through him. He can’t bare to think of you hurting like this. He should have realised sooner. Should have known. “How long’s it been going on?”

“A couple of months.”

Too long, then. It’s always going to be too long. “Stay ‘ere with me, yeah?” he asks. “He won’t get to you ‘ere.”

“I don’t want you involved in this—”

“You’re my best fucking friend, and I’m not letting him do this to you again. Never.” He pulls away and forces you to meet his gaze. “He won’t fuckin’ touch you again.”

“I’m begging you. Don’t confront him. Don’t do anything to risk your career. Please. Please promise me.”

His nostrils flare, but he nods. It isn’t quite a promise, though — not one he’s willing to keep, at least.

***

He does his best. He survives practices with the fucker all week while you hide away in his house, rarely getting out of your pyjamas. He has to force you to eat most nights, though you always have a home-cooked meal on the table. He can’t enjoy them, too busy wondering if it’s a forced habit — if maybe you were punished if you didn’t have dinner waiting for Tom.

And then Tom struts into the locker room before a Sunday match in Man City’s home stadium, his gaze already narrowed on Jamie. Wordlessly, he nudges past the other players, and the hair on the back of Jamie’s back prickles as he stops lacing his boot to look up at him.

“I bet you think you’re a right hero, eh?” Tom sneers. “Hiding her away from me. What’d she tell you?”

Jamie’s knuckles whiten, entire body tensing, but then he thinks of his promise to you. “You dunno what you’re talking about, mate,” he replies stiffly, drawing his lace tight.

Tom scoffs. “I know you’re the first person she’d run to.”

This time, Jamie bites, standing up to match his eye level and squaring his shoulders. “And you hate that, don’t you? It must make your fuckin' blood boil. Does it make you feel good, being an abusive twat, or are you that far gone that you don’t care either way?”

Tom slams Jamie’s locker shut, the picture of aggression. Jamie thinks of you facing him, alone in his big old house where no one is there to step in. He thinks of the way you must have flinched at that scorn, and resolves not to on your behalf. He might be breaking one promise, but he’ll keep another: Tom’ll never touch you again.

“You gonna beat me up as well?” he asks, and that anger he’d been suppressing so well is bubbling now; he’s a volcano ready to erupt.

“Oi!” The team manager steps in, drawing everyone’s attention. “We’ve got a job to do today. Whatever the issue is, you save it ‘til later. Am I clear?”

Jamie doesn’t back down, his eyes flaring with dangerous defiance. Tom is the first to nod, but not before offering a smarmy smirk — as though he’s won. “Yes, boss.”

“Jamie?”

“Yeah,” Jamie mutters finally — for you, he thinks. Anything for you.

It doesn’t stop there, though. Tom carries his bitterness onto the pitch, ignoring Jamie through the game so that he’s never passed the ball, never able to score. He’s tackled him more than a few times as though they’re on different teams, and Jamie knows then that he can’t play this game anymore. He won’t. He’ll quit on Monday, find another club to sign him. Maybe even grovel to Ted and go back to Richmond. Anything to get you both out of this.

He tries to be the bigger man, but he’s never been any good at it, so when Tom trips him in another fight for the ball, Jamie can’t do it anymore. His vision blurs into angry red lines as he stands, shins throbbing from the fall, and fists Tom’s sweaty shirt in his hands.

“Someone needs to put you in your fucking place,” he spits, and when Tom only grins again, he launches. His fist meets Tom’s hard jaw, and pain flashes through Jamie’s knuckles. Tom sniffs, spits, and the crowd in the stadium falls quiet enough to hear a pin drop. And then Tom lunges back, and Jamie feels the blow through every bone in his body.

It doesn’t stop him from punching him again. “See how you fuckin’ like it!” he’s screaming, again and again and again, all scrambling limbs and fierce hits between them. His knuckles and mouth turn bloody, and so do Tom's. Finally, they’re yanked away from one another.

Even as Jamie is pulled off the pitch, he’s bellowing across the field: “You’re nothing, you! A piece of fucking shit!”

“And who are you?” Tom calls. “Her knight in shining armour? You’re useless. You’re nobody!”

Jamie’s heard that more than a few times now. He no longer sees Tom’s face, but his own father’s. That’s why he couldn’t let this go, he realises. He could never stand up to his own bully, so he’s stood up to yours instead.

Spitting blood from his mouth, he leaves the pitch — knowing it might be for the last time. Knowing that if it is, it was worth it.

You saw it all on TV, and you’ve been waiting for the door to swing open ever since. Finally, it does — and you don’t even know what to say. Jamie’s mouth is swollen and his nose bloody, and you want to shout at him for being so stupid, for doing the one thing you asked him not to — in front of everyone. But in the end, you can only sigh, wiping the tears from your eyes.

“I know I fucked it up,” he rasps. “Maybe I should be sorry, but'm not. He fuckin’ deserved it.”

“And what about your job?” you ask, crossing your arms over your chest. You still wear your pyjamas, too afraid to go home and get fresh clothes. Too depressed to even try.

Jamie shrugs, throwing down his bag. “Don’t know yet. Doesn’t matter. I’m not playing on the same team as a dickhead like that.”

“But where will you play now?” Panic rises in you as you think about this means. You’ve never known Jamie without football, and to imagine him losing it now, because of you… It’s almost worse than what Tom did to you, maybe because you care more about your best friend than you ever could yourself. It’s wrong, but it’s true.

“I dunno. It doesn’t matter.” He sniffs, and you sigh, softening as you move towards him to examine his injuries.

Without a word, you head into the kitchen to wrap some ice in a towel. He follows slowly, sluggishly, as though he has no fight left in him. He used it all on the pitch. A stadium of fucking people. God, you’re angry. With Tom, with Jamie, with everyone. You shove the ice pack into his chest, blood pumping in your ears.

“It fucking matters,” you snap. “This is your life. I asked you not to ruin it because of me—”

“My life was ruined the minute you started dating that fucking prick!” he shouts.

You frown, confused. “What?” Your voice trembles.

Jamie purses his lip, shaking his head as he presses the ice to his bruised jaw. “Forget it. I did what I needed to. It wasn’t just for you, either. You’re not the only one who’s been bullied before. I’m sick of pushing it aside. Sick of 'em getting away with it. I can’t fight back for myself, but I can at least do it for you.”

You understand then. His dad. Tears sting your eyes. “Jamie…” You make to reach out, but he draws back as though your touch is venom. It hurts. You stumble back, feeling heavy and wrong. This is your fault. All of it.

“I shouldn’t have come to you. I shouldn’t have put you in this position," you say.

“Stop it. I told you it isn’t your fault.”

“It is.” You close your eyes, cheeks growing damp.

“Babe…” He’s there in a heartbeat, cupping your face with bloody hands. “Don’t. Please, don’t. Just look at me a minute.”

You do.

“I don’t give a shit about what this means for me. I don’t care if I’m never signed again. I only care that you’re safe. The dick was taunting me, and everyone will see that, but either way… you’re what matters. Nothin’ else.”

You can’t speak, your throat thick with emotion.

“I know you didn’t tell me because you knew this would happen, but I need you to understand that it’s happened because I love you. Because I always have and I always will. And if somebody hurts you, I’m not letting them get away with it.

“I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that. I know that. I don’t wanna be like ‘im, I don’t want you to see me like that. But I wasn’t going to let him keep doing it. Not to me or to you.”

You hate it. Of course you do. But you love him, and you know that if the roles were reversed, you’d choose him over anything. You know that this wasn’t an act of violence, but of love and pent-up anger.

“You’re not like him,” you say gently. “You could never be like him.”

He kisses your forehead, and your eyes flutter shut again as you lean into him.

“You’re worth it,” he whispers. “You’re worth all of it. I just wish I could’ve been there for you sooner.”

You tuck yourself into his chest as he squeezes you tightly, smelling of grass and sweat and dirt. You haven’t felt safe in a long time. You haven’t felt loved in a long time, either. “You’re here now,” you say.

He nods, chin brushing the crown of your head. “‘S gonna be okay now. I’ve got you.”

You finally believe him.

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