#never clarify exactly how many i have
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sunfoxfic · 1 year ago
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as someone with a lot of sisters (no brothers) it's very funny and frustrating how often I'll tell a story about my sister and people will follow up with "which one?" bitch you do not know. I will follow up by saying Denise, Sally, or Crinkle Cut French Fry and it will make no difference whatsoever. You don't know their names. I barely know their names. If it was important which sister I would identify them by age and/or occupation, whatever's relevant.
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kleftiko · 1 year ago
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❦ CAN’T GIVE IT TO ME
“your best friend has always been the person you turn to when times are tough. so when your shitty husband refuses to give you a baby, what else are you supposed to do?”
cw: infidelity, unprotected sex, cream pie, breeding kink, pussy eating, squirting
KINKTOBER MASTERLIST
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It was never a surprise when you made a stupid decision.
Sometimes, people thought you were purposely being an airhead, not paying attention, or being reckless in your life because Satoru was always there to fix things for you. It didn't stop him from letting you know his thoughts on your actions, but he was always there when you called.
When you married your husband, Satoru told you he didn't like him. Didn't think you married for a good reason, either.
Did you love your husband? Maybe. Maybe not. But you liked the freedom he gave you—credit cards and a house to yourself most days—while he was constantly away on business trips. You could spend your days spoiling your girlfriends on a shopping spree and your nights in expensive clubs.
You don't know when you began feeling lonely and bored, though. But one day, you started noticing mothers with their kids. playing in the park, shopping at the grocery store, and taking photos on vacation, and you began to think that maybe you wanted something else in life besides waking up hungover to an empty bed.
So when your husband got home that evening, tired and immediately pouring himself a drink, you proposed the idea. The look he gave you said it all, but he still told you no. He was a busy man; he didn't have time for a family, and you should know that.
It's not like he ever fucked you anyway; for most of your marriage, your orgasms and libido were taken care of by vibrators, dildos, and your best friend.
Which is why when your husband left the next day, you called over Satoru.
He never had to try to look good, showing up with a plain shirt, sweatpants, and those signature glasses. You, on the other hand, changed three times before he arrived, not being able to decide which outfit was going to help you get what you wanted. The formal dress was too much for daytime, the skirt was a bit too juvenile, and eventually you just decided on shorts and a tank top, loungewear that to anyone else would look like you were just having a day in, but the way the short fabric loosely covered your ass told a different story.
Satoru accepted the glass of red wine you offered when he walked in the door and took a seat at the kitchen table, spreading his legs casually as he took a sip.
"I want a baby." You told him straight up.
Satoru smiled as he looked at you over his glasses and said, "Nice. Congrats."
"With you," you clarified. He raised an eyebrow.
"Seems like something you should ask your husband," he said, nimble fingers playing with the neck of his wine. "I'm just here for the drinks."
You pouted, taking a seat in the chair beside him.
"Please, 'Toru?" you asked.
His eyes drifted down to your fingers as they trailed lightly over his thigh, knowing exactly what you were trying to do.
"And why would I help you?" He smiled lazily.
You got up and straddled his lap, setting down his glass of wine in favour of moving his arms around your body.
"You've helped me before." You whisper, and he nods casually, as if that was a good point.
You couldn't count the number of times Satoru let you use his fingers or sit on his face when you were needy. Or how many times you repaid him with your lips around his dick or riding his thigh. But no matter how many times he made you cum, he never gave in to your pleas to stretch your pussy on his thick cock. He refused to, as long as you were married. Was it right? Probably not, but Satoru had his rules.
And you've never minded the mind-numbing pleasure he would give you with his hands and mouth until now. Because now, what you wanted required something else of his that was previously off limits.
"I've helped you a lot of times, sweetheart." He sighed in defeat. "And you always ask for more."
You were confused, not understanding the meaning of his words until his fingers slid between your legs. With a soft gasp, you instinctively start grinding yourself onto his palm, forgetting what he was saying.
"I'm at your beck and call when you need my fingers or tongue," he said, letting you continue your ministrations. "And now you're asking me to fill your cunt and expect me to be okay with our kid calling your husband 'dad'?"
With a harsh press to your clit, you freeze, and a small whine escapes from your lips.
"You think that's fair, sweetheart?" He asked, eyeing you with contempt.
But instead of answering, you try to move your hips against his hand again for friction, only to get a harsh pinch to your thigh.
You yelped, but answered him. "No, it's not."
He seemed happy with your response and said, "What's in it for me?"
You furrowed your brows. In all the years you've known Satoru, he had never asked for anything in return; he always gives, gives, gives. There honestly wasn't any answer you could come up with. But when his long fingers started circling your heat again, making you melt, you asked.
"What do you want, 'Toru?"
He grinned at how easy you were and let you rest your head on his shoulder in response to his fingers. "Say you'll leave your husband, and I'll fill you up as much as you want."
You whined in response, but with your body rocking against his, breathing in his cologne, and hearing his husky voice in your ears, it didn't seem like a bad idea. So you nodded, light gasps dusting over his neck as you breathed out, "Okay."
Satoru's strong hands then left your pussy, but you didn't have a chance to complain when he grabbed the back of your thighs and stood up. When your head leaned back to look at him, you saw a dangerous look in his eyes.
"Good girl." His voice was low as he said, "Let's make you a mommy."
With that, he dropped you onto the table, the wine glasses shaking beside you as a result. Satoru dropped to his knees between your spread legs and reached for your shorts. Already wet with your slick, they stuck to your heat slightly as he slid them off, and you hissed at the feeling of the cool kitchen air against your pussy.
His breath grazed your thigh as he licked a harsh strip up your slit. Your body trembled as his tongue traced its way up, sending shivers of anticipation through your entire being. The dangerous look in his eyes intensified, fueling your desire for him. You couldn't help but arch your back, offering yourself fully to his skilled touch. As his tongue continued its tantalizing journey, your moans grew louder, matching the rhythm of his movements. The intensity of him led you to grasp at his soft silver hair in an attempt to ground yourself, but he smacked your hand away.
"You're gonna feel everything I give you." His sunglasses were discarded, so you saw every emotion in his darkened eyes. "And you're gonna take it."
After you nodded quickly, Satoru wrapped his arms around your thighs, locking your cunt against his tongue as he devoured you. His careful mouth probed every inch of your sensitive folds, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. The way he smoothly flicked and sucked on your clit had you on the edge of ecstasy, unable to control the moans that escaped your lips. As his tongue delved deeper, you surrendered completely to the overwhelming sensations, losing yourself in the intoxicating bliss he was giving you.
In an attempt to warn him, you could only stutter out an, "g-g'nna."
But Satoru seemed to understand as his lips attached themselves to your bud, and one of his arms freed your legs so he could thrust his fingers inside your sloppy cunt. The combination of his skilled tongue and the added penetration sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body. Each thrust of his fingers matched the rhythm of his tongue, intensifying the pleasure and pushing you closer to the edge. As you reached the peak of ecstasy, your body convulsed uncontrollably, overwhelmed by the mind-blowing sensations he was delivering. You briefly understood your legs spamming as you painted Satoru's mouth with your cum.
It took a moment for you to calm down, your eyes opening to look at the ceiling as you realized your back was on the table. Unable to remember when you had laid down, let alone move your body on your own, Satoru pulled you to stand on your jelly legs.
His eyes held your gaze as he wiped his face and licked his lips clear of your cum. Before you could say anything, he gripped your hips, his wet hands sending shivers up your hot skin as he turned you around and pushed your stomach onto the table.
You looked over your shoulder at your best friend; his head was tilted back, eyes closed as he hissed in pleasure, the hand covered in your slick stroking his hard cock. The reminder of the fact that his dick was finally going to be inside you made you whine and wiggle your hips to gain his attention again.
Satoru looked down at you with a smile.
"Don't worry, sweetheart, I'm right here." He lined himself up with your hole. "I'll fuck a baby into you," he whispered before slowly pushing himself inside you.
The sensation of him filling you up sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body, making you moan and bend your back in response.
"T-'Toru..." You drawled, unable to think of anything else, as he stretched you open.
"That's it, baby, remember who's gonna breed this cunt for you." He hissed.
Your mind became consumed with the overwhelming pleasure as Satoru continued to thrust deeper into you. Every movement he made intensified the sensations, leaving you completely lost in the moment. The sounds of his grunts harmonizing with skin slapping against skin filled the room, adding to the urgency of the experience.
Your eyes locked on one of the wine glasses beside you. The table rocking with Satoru's harsh thrusts caused the silverware to fall over, staining the beautiful tablecloth beneath your face. You don't know why, but the physical reminder of how hard Satoru was going inside you made you moan. The combination of the sensory overload and the unexpected disruption heightened the raw passion between you and Satoru. As your moans echoed in the room, you realized that every element of this encounter was pushing you both towards an adrenaline-filled climax.
"Sa-Satoru—please!" You babbled incoherently as he slapped against you, his fingers digging into the fat of your hips.
"Fuck!" He groaned. "You're gonna look so hot pregnant with my baby."
Your pleas only fueled Satoru's desire, intensifying his thrusts as he whispered dirty promises about knocking you up in your ear. The intense connection between you both grew, driving you closer to the edge of ecstasy. With each moment, it became clear that this intimate encounter would forever be etched in not only your memory but also your life. And it turned you on so much more.
"You gonna great your husband today with your pussy filled with my cum?" You whined at his dirty talk. "S'it gonna drip down your legs when you tell him it's over?"
You don't know why, but the reminder of the fact that Satoru wasn't your husband was what did it for you. You came to the realization that it wasn't your husband fucking a baby into you, but your best friend. This forbidden affair intensified the pleasure and excitement coursing through your veins, causing you to clench impossibly tighter around Satoru's cock.
He groaned loudly at that, folding his body over yours as he reached his own orgasm.
"You're all mine now, sweetheart." He whispered into your ear as his cum shot into your cunt, filling you up better than you could've hoped for. The intensity of the moment left you breathless as you lay there, sweat clinging to your forehead as the scent of wine and sex filled your senses. You whimpered pathetically when Satoru slipped out of you and crouched down to watch the globs of his cum drip out of your pussy with each clench around nothing. Your trembling legs couldn't stop him when he scooped up the slick and pushed it back into you with a dissatisfied hum.
"Don't think it stuck, sweetheart." He sighed. "Might need to fill you again."
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loulovingho · 2 months ago
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“Tommy!” Eddie cheered, lifting his drink toward the sky as he spotted his friend walking toward him. “Whatcha doin' here, Man?”
“Figured I'd stop by and see how you were doing, Bud,” Tommy replied. He gave Eddie a pat on the back as he sat down in the empty seat next to him. “You come here alone?”
“Mhm. Needed ta get out. House's too quiet.”
“How long have you been here?”
“Too long,” the bartender interrupted as he walked by. “Was about to cut him off. I already took his keys.”
Eddie's eyebrows furrowed, looking around the bar counter. “Hey! You took my keys.”
“I got him,” Tommy said, giving the bartender a nod. “I gotta say, at least you're talking better than you're texting. I was worried.”
Eddie's face scrunched up in confusion. “Huh? I never did texted you.”
“Oh, I beg to differ.” Tommy fished his phone out of his jacket pocket and went to his messages. “'Buuuuuuuck, lezz drink, Buddy.' Then five minutes later, 'Bruck, why rn't you at bar? I waiting.' A good two minutes after that you sent me your location with an angry emoji. Then, and this is my personal favorite, 'Loser too busy kissy kissy with Tummy to be a friendship.'”
"Huh. Thought I was textin' Buck.”
“Yeah, I pieced that together.”
“So where's Buck if you're not kissy kissy?” Eddie asked, his final drink sloshing over his fingers as he attempted to bring it to his lips.
Tommy took the drink from Eddie and set it back on the counter. “Evan is watching Jee overnight so Howie and Maddie can have a night away. So, you wanna talk about whatever's bothering you? I mean, I could take a guess, but...”
“Nah. No, no, nope. I wanna,” Eddie pulled at the collar of his shirt. “Lessgo karaoke, Tomboy-”
“We're not calling me that.”
“I wanna sing to the rooftops,” Eddie continued, his words slurring more and more with each sentence. “I wanna. I wanna be, you know, be free, Tommy. I don't have a rea-,” he hiccuped, “reason to get back home.”
“Really? Seems like that's exactly where you need to be right now.”
Eddie's eyes widened, like he'd thought of the best idea in the entire world. “Let's go to Peeping Tom! That's your name!”
“Peeping Tom is a gay bar, Eddie.”
“I don judge.”
“A very kinky, fully nude gay bar,” Tommy clarified.
Eddie squinted, deep in thought. “No karaoke?”
“No karaoke.”
“Well, then were we go? Don't say home!”
“Home.”
“Ugh,” Eddie groaned, allowing Tommy to wrap an arm around his back and help him up. “You're like a no- no fun dad. Wish I'd texted fun dad.”
Tommy gripped onto Eddie tighter as he stumbled while taking a step. He sighed. “Maybe next time.”
*****
When Eddie woke up the next morning it was to a pounding headache and blinding sunlight coming through his window. He was nauseous and his mouth tasted like a mixture of gasoline and mouthwash.
He laid there for a few minutes, trying to figure out what happened that made him feel so unbelievably ill.
After a few failed attempts, he finally rolled out of bed and made his way into the kitchen to fix himself some coffee.
He froze when he walked through the door to see Tommy sitting there, reading the newspaper.
“Good... morning?” Eddie started, confused.
Tommy set the paper down. “Morning. Sleep well?”
“I- I think so, I guess. It's a little blurry.”
Tommy hummed. “Not surprising. Coffee just finished, if you want some. Your couch is not comfortable, by the way.”
“Buck's never complained.”
“Yeah, well, he's easier to please than I am.”
Eddie was too hungover for this. He had so many questions, but for some reason the first one out of his mouth was: “Where'd you put my shoes?”
“In your closet.”
He grabbed himself a cup for some coffee. “My keys?”
“We have to go pick them up at the bar today, along with your car, obviously.”
“You didn't close my curtains last night. Woke up thinking I was being interrogated by Ice T.”
Tommy sighed, leaning back in his seat. “'Thank you so much for getting me home safely, Tommy. Did it hurt your back having to drag me into the house while I belted out Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of my lungs?'” He stood, walking over to Eddie and taking the coffee out of his hand, drinking a big sip. “Thank you for asking, Eddie. I think my back will be okay, but my ears will never recover.”
Eddie rolled his eyes, turning to fix himself another cup. “Thank you for getting me home safely, Tommy. I appreciate it.”
“Mhm. No problem.” Tommy returned to his seat and Eddie joined him at the table. They sat in silence for a couple minutes, taking small sips of their drinks.
Eventually, Tommy set his cup down a little harder than normal, getting Eddie's attention with the clinking sound. “Wanna talk about it?”
“About what? How your coffee tastes like cigarette sludge?”
“I'll take that as a no then.” Tommy checked his watch. “The bar doesn't open until three. Want me to stop by and pick you up then?”
Eddie shook his head. “I can just get an Uber, Man, thanks though.”
“Of course. I'll, uh, let you recover.” Tommy stood and went to leave, checking his pocket for his keys and phone.
As he neared the door, Eddie spoke. “Wait,” he said. Tommy turned back to face him.
“Yeah?”
“Why'd you sleep on my couch?”
“You're my friend,” he answered simply. “You drank a lot. Wanted to make sure you were okay.” He took a step back toward the table. “Are you okay?”
Eddie cradled the mug in his hands, watching the steam rise from the cup. “You don't... How long has it been? Since you talked to your dad?”
Okay, so Tommy wasn't leaving then.
He came to the table and sat down, taking a moment to think about Eddie's question. “About six years, I think.”
“What did he do?” He looked over at Tommy. “To make you stop talking to him, I mean. Unless you don't wanna get into it. In fact, forget it, I shouldn't-”
“Eddie, it's fine,” Tommy assured him. “I don't mind.”
“Okay,” Eddie nodded, sitting up straighter. “So? What happened?”
“It wasn't just one thing,” Tommy explained. “It was a lifetime of things. He's... He's not a good man. I think the catalyst was about a year after I came out. I hadn't been home in awhile, so I decided to drive to his place one weekend. When he answered the door he said, 'What the hell are you doing here?' I told him I was coming to see him and he said, 'What's the damn point in that?' I thought about it for a second and realized that was a good question, so I turned around, got in my car, and left. Never looked back.” Eddie seemed to be contemplating his words, and Tommy could tell where this was going. “It's not the same thing, Eddie,” he said, beating Eddie to it.
“What if he doesn't come back? What I did, Tommy, it wasn't... It was bad.”
“You made a mistake.”
“I cheated on my girlfriend with a doppelganger of his mom, Tommy, and he caught me.”
“Granted, it was a big mistake,” Tommy deadpanned. “But, still a mistake. He'll come around. You gotta give him time.”
“People keep telling me that,” Eddie replied with an eye roll. “That he'll come around. But it's been months of nothing. And it seems like no matter what I do, it's not enough.”
“You're trying.”
Eddie huffed. “I'm not sure getting drunk alone at a bar is trying.”
“I think it shows you care, Eddie. And, yeah, that shouldn't become a habit, but you're allowed to be upset. You're allowed to hurt. You made a mistake, but you're a good dad and Christopher knows that. He will come around.”
“And if he doesn't?” Eddie asked, staring over at Tommy.
“Then you keep trying,” Tommy replied. “You never stop trying. Keep being there, keep sending him letters and getting him on Facetime. Go for a visit. Send him texts. I'm not saying you gotta smother him, but never let him forget that you're there. That's the biggest mistake you could ever make.”
“Yeah,” Eddie took a deep breath. “Yeah, you're right. I just... I gotta keep it up. Let him know I'm here, whenever he's ready.”
“Exactly.”
Eddie looked over at the clock on his stove, 11:32 staring back at him. He had no idea he'd slept so long. “Why don't you call Buck, see if he wants to come over and watch a game? Then you can drive me to my car.”
“Oh, you want me to call Evan? Don't you mean fun dad?” Tommy asked, eying Eddie.
It took him a minute, but the memory came back to him. “I did say that, didn't I?”
“You did,” Tommy confirmed. “Which I'm very offended by, by the way. I'm fun!”
Eddie sighed, his head drooping down. “I know you are.”
“I introduced you to karaoke trivia. I've flown you to Vegas.”
“I remember.”
“I never tried to seriously injure you in the name of love.”
“Which I'm very grateful for.”
“I don't have control issues when I have a clipboard in my hand.”
“Are you just gonna keep listing reasons why you're fun?”
“I once shoved three cupcakes in my mouth at once! Nearly choked to death, but Evan whacked me on the back and everything went down just fine.”
Eddie stood with his mug in hand, pointing toward the living room, “I'm gonna go to the couch. Get more comfortable.”
Tommy followed behind, pulling out his phone to call Buck. “I'll let Evan tell you who bowled a 230 last week. Hint: it was me!”
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ashwhowrites · 29 days ago
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Hi, love your work and can’t wait to see what you do with this. Eddie/reader. Reader is Chrissy’s best friend since childhood. She’s not popular, is more of a nerd and is always overlooked, used or ignored for Chrissy. A school event is coming up and Eddie, who has always seen her, wants to ask her out. Reader gets confused and thinks he wants to ask Chrissy out and wants her help. She’s super insecure. Can Eddie show her his true intentions in time.
I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting🫶🏻
Not her, you
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Y/N loved having Chrissy as her best friend. She was a sweet girl who'd do anything for Y/N and Y/N would do the same for her. The only struggle she faced was living in Chrissy's shadow.
Y/N wasn't in the same crowd as Chrissy and they were only best friends because they met as children. Chrissy got popular and Y/N wasn't meant to be. She was a nerd, she liked nerdy things and didn't find an interest in sports or clubs.
It was a common occurrence for people to use Y/N to get to Chrissy. Y/N was positive that every guy that has ever talked to her, was interested in getting to Chrissy. Which sucked and knocked Y/N's confidence down to hell but she wasn't going to dread it. Plus Y/N was too shy to have a boyfriend anyway, she'd never go for a guy like she liked. And well no guys liked her.
At least that's what she believes. Unknown to her, Eddie has spent the last two weeks trying to get himself to talk to her. A school carnival was coming up and he wanted to ask her to go with him. He knew he shouldn't be scared. She was nice and shy, it wasn't like she would scream in his face and laugh about it with her friends. But the thought of rejection held him back.
Before he knew it the carnival was happening tomorrow and tonight was his last chance. Chrissy was throwing a party and Eddie knew Y/N would be there. He hoped with liquid courage he could get the damn question out of his head and out his mouth.
~
Y/N grabbed more beers from the garage and set them on the table. The party was loud but luckily mostly everyone was outside. A few loners inside and a few couples who disappeared down the halls.
Y/N kept to herself during the parties. Chrissy often got busy with everyone but always checked in on her. Y/N wasn't much of a partier but she'd never say no to Chrissy.
"Y/N, right?"
Y/N jumped as a voice came from behind her. She held her hand over her chest and turned around. She smiled when she saw Eddie standing there, a red cup in his hand.
"Yes, and Eddie?" She asked to clarify, even though she knew exactly who he was. He was a pretty boy with long hair and a perfect smile. He nodded and she smiled.
"So awesome party, huh?" Eddie asked, cringing at how stupid he sounded. Y/N lightly laughed.
"Um yeah. Not really my scene but it's not horrible," Y/N shrugged
"Yeah, I get that. I'm not well liked so parties aren't my thing," Eddie lightly laughed. He reached behind her to grab a beer. Y/N felt her body stiffen from having him so close to her.
"I wanted to ask you something about the carnival tomorrow," Eddie said, he took a deep breath. He prepared to say it all. Her eyes were waiting for him to continue and he got nervous. The alcohol was wearing off faster than he wanted. He opened his mouth and-
"Are you and Chrissy going?"
He wanted to smack himself
"We are, kinda like a girls' night out," she said with a smile
"Oh that's a bummer, I mean! Good for you guys. Friendship is important. I know it's kinda like a date and couple spot, you know? Maybe it can be a date" Eddie ranted. He blabbed when he was nervous and boy was he nervous.
"I mean I could probably talk to her and rearrange things," Y/N smiled. "If you were interested, I mean. We can have many other girl nights."
Eddie beamed happily, smiling, "Yeah, that would be great. I wrote down my number in hopes I would get this far."
Y/N laughed and accepted the piece of paper.
"It was nice talking to you," Y/N smiled. Eddie waited until she was out of sight before he pumped his fist in victory.
Y/N walked outside in search of Chrissy. She found the pretty blonde standing alone.
"Hey, got something for you," Y/N said, handing the paper over to her. Chrissy smiled and took the paper.
"What's this?" Chrissy asked as she read the number
"Eddie Munson's number. He wants to take you to the carnival on a date. I promise I'm cool with it." Y/N explained.
"Well, I'm not! You've had a crush on him for months. I'm not going on a date with him," Chrissy scoffed.
"Chris, he was so happy when I said I'd rearrange things. Who cares if I have a crush on him. If he likes you, my crush is pointless." Y/N shrugged
"It's not pointless. And I'm not going on this date."
~
The next morning Eddie was beaming with excitement. He was waiting on the phone for hours, waiting for her to call to talk about the details of the date.
When the phone rang, he was fast to answer it on the first ring.
"Hello?"
"Hey Eddie, It's Chrissy,"
"Oh hi, what's up?" Eddie asked. He was confused as to why Chrissy would be calling him and how she got his number.
"I'm sorry but I can't go on a date with you tonight," Chrissy said, she felt horrible. She was never good at telling people no.
"Date? What date?" Eddie asked, the longer the conversation went on the more confused he became.
"At the carnival? Y/N gave me your number last night at the party," Chrissy explained
"Oh, um, I actually was trying to ask her out. My number was meant for her,"
"That's amazing!" Chrissy squealed, "Grab a pen, I'm giving you her number."
~
Y/N twirled in front of the mirror, terrified for her date.
"You don't have to be nervous! He likes you," Chrissy said as she placed a comforting hand on Y/N's shoulder.
"But what if doesn't once we are alone together? We've never truly talked. Maybe he'll hate my personality."
"He's going to love your personality! There is nothing to dislike about you,"
Y/N tried to believe her words and tried to boost her confidence as she heard a call pull up. She walked over to her window and saw Eddie walking towards her front door.
"Take a deep breath and have fun," Chrissy said before she sent Y/N out the door.
~
Y/N already was feeling comfortable around Eddie as they arrived at the carnival. She didn't dress up too much but still put a little effort into her appearance. With the amount of compliments Eddie gave her when she opened the door, she felt as if she did a good job.
They walked around the carnival, stopping at a few stands to play games.
"How are you so good at this?" Eddie laughed
He tossed the basketball and it smacked the rim and bounced at him. Y/N smiled as she easily made basket after basket.
"No idea, I don't even do sports," Y/N laughed
"WINNER WINNER!"
The loud alarm blared as the worker reached up and grabbed a small stuffed bear. She smiled as she grabbed it. Her smile grew bigger as she handed the bear to Eddie.
"Isn't the guy supposed to win a prize for the girl?" Eddie joked, but more than happy to take the bear with a smile
"Maybe if he was good at basketball," Y/N teased
Eddie laughed and shoved her shoulder. "Next stand, I'm creaming your ass."
~
After a few hours of winning prizes and spending most of their money, they made their way to the parking lot.
"Want any yet?" Eddie asked as he held his bucket of cotton candy
"Sure," Y/N said as they made it to his van. She went to reach for a piece when Eddie grabbed a piece and fed it to her. She blushed as she leaned in and ate the piece of cotton candy from his fingers.
She felt nervous at how close their faces were. She swallowed the candy but didn't move away. He stared into her eyes, loving the way the moon shined on her.
She gulped as he began to lean in. He closed his eyes and she followed his lead. They moved closer until their lips met. Y/N felt her stomach erupt in butterflies as his lips moved against hers. He moved his right hand to cup her face as his left held the candy.
She wasn't sure what to do but she moved her hands to lay flat on his stomach as she lost herself in the kiss. He tasted of cotton candy and his lips were soft.
She waited until he began to pull away before she did. She kept her hands on his stomach as she opened her eyes and met his brown ones.
They stared at each other for a few seconds. Then Eddie smiled and walked around to open the door for her. She smiled and got into the van. Her fingers touched her lips softly as he closed the door and headed to the driver's side.
The ride was full of laughter and easy conversation. She couldn't remember why she was nervous in the first place. Everything with him felt right and they clicked well.
She felt a little bummed that the night was over as he pulled back into her driveway.
"I had a lot of fun. Thank you," she said. Her voice was so quiet that Eddie barely heard her.
"Thank you for saying yes," he said with a smile, turning to face her. She opened the door but before she got out, she leaned over and softly touched his chin. She slowly leaned in and pressed her lips against his. It felt even better than the first one.
She pulled away leaving him wanting more.
"Goodnight, Eddie," she got out of the car and closed the door. Eddie was fast to get out of his van and follow her up to her door.
"Can we do this again, sometime?" He asked, she turned around to look at him.
"Absolutely"
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@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlxt @ineedmentalhelp123
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azrielbrainrot · 24 days ago
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A Night To Remember
Pairing: Rhysand x F!Reader
Kinktober 2024: Virginity
Description: Rhysand takes your virginity.
Warnings: Smut, fingering, vaginal sex, virgin reader, hint of oral sex, dirty talk
Word Count: ~2,8k
Rating: 18+ MDNI
Notes: Rhysand is pretty young in this, I'm not exactly sure how fae aging works but I was thinking he had left the Illyrian training camps a couple years before this and was just starting to work more in court with his dad, so he would be like 21/22 in human years. Reader is about his age, maybe a bit younger. Hope you enjoy!
Kinktober 2024 Masterlist
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“Rhysand,” you whimper, your brain struggling to keep up while the Night Court heir leaves open mouthed kisses all over your neck. “I need to tell you something.”
The only sign he even heard you was the delayed hum he lets out as he's switching to the other side of your throat, marking up your soft skin, pushing one of his knees between your legs, hands grabbing at your hips, both of your scents deepening and mixing deliciously.
This isn't good. You had gotten too lost in the moment, too lost in his taste and the way his strong hands felt on your body. As soon as the heir started flirting with you by the bar, you told yourself that you wouldn't miss this opportunity because of your nerves once again, but you wanted to do this right.
You call out his name again, and this time he pulls away from your neck, a bit of worry visible in his enchanting violet eyes, fighting past the haziness as he stares into yours, your hands come up to cup his cheeks, almost pulling him into you once again, hoping to get at least one more taste in case he stops like so many others have before.
“I need to tell you something,” you repeat, tongue peaking out to wet your lips.
“Do you want to stop?”
“No, that's not it,” you rush out, taking a deep breath, unable to meet his eyes as the next words tumble out of your mouth, “I'm a virgin.”
Still staring at the wall on the other side of the room, suddenly entranced by the golden pattern painted on the dark wall, you try your best to keep your heart from racing, breathing in and out slowly. You weren't sure what his exact reaction had been, apart from the way he tenses against you before relaxing once more, but old memories flooded your mind.
This wasn't the first time you had to tell someone these same words, and seeing as you were still a virgin, it was safe to say this conversation usually took a turn for the worst, whether it came as weird sympathy or cruel remarks. You didn't think Rhysand was the type to push you away simply because you were inexperienced, which was one of the reasons why you had let him take you home, still you had thought the same of every other male who came this far and they had proved you wrong rather quickly.
It had never been your intention to wait for this long, but since you had been so busy with working and studying in your younger years, the time for dating had been next to none, and by the time you realized you might have waited too long, all your peers were already in relations or at least sexually active.
“Are you sure?” His question pulls you out of your thoughts, meeting his eyes instinctively. You don't find any anger or disinterest there much to your relief, only a hint of confusion and a seriousness that hadn't been there before.
“Yes, I'm sure. I never-”
He laughs, cutting you off before you can finish. A strange feeling rises within you, humiliation starting to spread and fear making itself known once again. He leans in and pecks your lips when he notices you tensing up against him, soothing you immediately.
“I'm asking if you're sure you want me to fuck you,” he clarifies with a smirk on his face, and you relax further into him, face heating up at the mistake, ��Maybe you should wait for a serious relationship or someone special.”
He meant well, you know that, but you can't help but get a bit annoyed all the same. It was because you had waited for so long that you were in this situation. Life was unpredictable and so were people, especially males, waiting around for someone special to come around could very well mean waiting for the rest of your life. Right now the fact that he wanted you as much as you wanted him and he was treating you with respect was special enough for you.
“Did you wait for someone special?”
“No,” he admits, shaking his head. “Doesn't mean you shouldn't.”
“I don't want to wait, I want you,” you say, pulling him in for a kiss, a shiver running down your spine when he simply angles his head and lets you take control, thumb rubbing slow circles over your thigh as you taste him, one hand holding the back of his neck as the other wandered down. You thought you would have to convince him, but it seems he believed you on your first try.
Rhysand pulls away right when you were about to start unbuttoning his shirt, wrapping an arm around your waist and taking a step back, winnowing you to a different room in doing so. He takes off his own shirt as you look around, unable to hide the amazement on your face at the intricate paintings and ostentatious furniture. You were so caught up in your nerves that you had almost forgotten who he was.
“We're not in my father's house if that's what you're wondering.”
You turn to look at him wide eyed, the absolute horror of getting caught by the High Lord rushing over you even though it was all in your imagination. While you were sure the rumors spreading around your home court were exaggerated, his father didn't have a particularly kind reputation even in his own court either.
“I hadn't even thought of that,” you murmur, taking his hand when he reaches for you, letting him pull you in closer with a chuckle, dropping a chaste kiss to your lips, clearly ready to end the conversation about his father. He starts walking you backwards towards the bed, watching with endearment as your eyes travel over the marks over his chest and down his shoulders, humming when you muster up the courage to reach out and trace the inked skin.
When you get to the bed, he grabs the hem of your dress, lifting it up and over your head with your help, hands falling on your waist as you kick off your shoes as well, tucking your thumbs into the band of your underwear, only hesitating for a second before pushing them down your legs and letting them fall on the floor as well, baring yourself to him completely.
Hungry eyes roam over your body, feasting on the beautiful sight in front of him, taking his time before meeting your gaze once again, your heart beating loudly in your chest at all the attention and desire you find written in the violet, goosebumps spreading over your skin as if he was actually touching you.
“I suppose I should apologize in advance,” he purred, taking a step closer to you, making you angle your neck further back to keep eye contact.
“Why?”
“Because I'm about to ruin every other male for you.”
If this was anyone else you would have probably cringed at the arrogance, but you knew the future High Lord meant every word. It was plain to see in the unbelievable amount of power rumbling under his skin, in the way he held onto you, attentive but intentional, in the raw hunger written in his eyes.
His lips were on yours before you could react, pushing you down onto the mattress gently and falling over your body, positioning himself between your legs. Strong hands caressed your breasts as he trailed kisses down your neck, going back to nibbling on the skin just as he had been doing before you interrupted him downstairs.
Fingers tangle themselves in his hair, breathy moans escaping your mouth unattended as he expertly played with your body until you were melting over the soft duvet. His hand starts traveling lower when he feels the last bit of tension leaving your body, strangely attuned to your needs even though you had just met. You spread your thighs further apart when he reaches your cunt, staring into his eyes when he pulls away from your neck in favor of watching you.
“Need to get you ready,” he whispers, coating his fingers in your wetness before circling your entrance, smirking at the way your body trembles under him.
“Please,” you whimper, hips bucking up into his fingers, desire running through your veins like you had never felt before.
Rhysand chuckles down at you, coaxing one of his fingers inside you carefully. “You don't have to beg, darling. I'll give you anything you want today,” he whispers against your lips, biting the plump flesh as needy moans escape you.
You've used your fingers to pleasure yourself before, but his were much bigger and he knew exactly how to work them in to make you see stars. Hands falling on his shoulders, nails biting into his skin as he adds another finger, scissoring them inside you slowly, stretching you out patiently, circling your clit with his thumb softly all the while.
It was no surprise that you were already getting close, walls fluttering around his fingers as he did his best to swallow your soft whimpers and sweet pleas, not giving you a chance to breathe as you fell apart beneath him, a shudder running through you as his name escaped your lips.
Rhysand whispers praises in your ear, dropping kisses all over your face and chest, only stopping when it didn't sound like your heart was trying to fight its way out through your chest and your eyes flutter open.
“Still with me?”
You nod up at him, hand cupping his cheek and bringing his lips down to meet yours once again, you don't think you'd ever tire of kissing him even if you did a million times. Rhysand hums into your mouth, sucking on your tongue playfully as he pulls away, getting up to take the rest of his clothes off.
Sitting up so you could watch him properly, your eyes follow his movements as if in a trance. You couldn't help but linger on his cock, taking in the tremble that runs through him as he strokes it once in front of you. Your own hands grip onto the duvet, wondering what he would feel like.
“You can touch me,” he purrs, half lidded eyes almost begging you to, groaning when your hand reaches for him, mimicking the movement.
Surprisingly, there were no signs of nerves as you stroked his cock, only desire and curiosity running through your veins. He seemed more than content with letting you play with him, even praising you when you did something he liked. It makes you feel bolder, having all this control over him of all people. Leaning forward, you take the head of his cock into your mouth, wanting to know what he felt like on your tongue, what he tasted like.
Rhysand lets out a particularly loud moan, not expecting you to do such a thing, looking down at you proudly, his characteristic smirk growing.
“We'll have to leave that for next time,” he starts, pushing your head away carefully, “I need to fuck you now, alright?”
“Next time?”
He hums, pushing you back against the bed, laying down over you, taking your bottom lip between his. “There's still a lot I can show you.”
“Oh.” You didn't know what to say. Never in a million years did you think you'd be in Rhysand's bed, let alone that he'd want you back. Wrapping your arms around him, you pull him as close as physically possible, shivering at the feeling of his hard muscles against your soft flesh, your breasts pressed against his chest, his cock weighing on your stomach.
He positions himself at your entrance, never breaking the kiss, relaxing your body with every stroke of his tongue against yours, every soft caress down your body. You do your best to breathe through it all, accommodating him between your thighs, trembling at the feeling of his hard cock grinding over your cunt, coating himself in your juices.
“Tell me if it hurts or if you want me to stop,” he murmurs, pecking your lips before continuing, “I promise I'll take care of you.”
It might sound silly but in that moment you could have followed him anywhere. The sincerity and care reflected in his eyes almost took your breath away, finding yourself staring into them like an anchor as he started pushing inside you, mouth opening in a silent moan at the foreign feeling.
You had been prepared to feel almost unbearable pain, remembering the stories your friends told you of their own first times and advice they've given you, but aside from an uncomfortable pinch and strange sensation, you could only feel the promise of pleasure.
“Good?” His voice was deeper, clearly affected as he held himself back from thrusting into your warm, tight cunt. You nod and kiss him, hoping it's answer enough, wrapping your legs around him, needing to feel him deeper. Rhysand keeps pushing his cock into you carefully, slowing down anytime your body tenses even a bit, until he finally settles inside you, his hips flush with the back of your thighs.
His hands travel all over your body, mouth still moving against yours, distracting you from any pain or discomfort that you might feel. Your own hands kept caressing up and down his back, feeling the hard muscles ripple under your touch, tracing the small scars you found along the way.
Holding each other so close it was almost impossible to see where one ended and the other began, you felt a fire lighting on the pit of your stomach, a needy pleasure spreading over your veins to every inch of your body, legs tightening around him.
“Rhysand-”
“Can I move?” He asks against your lips, forearm braced right next to your head as he grinds into you once experimentally, humming when you whimper into his mouth. “Want me to fuck you? Want to feel my cock stretching out your tight little cunt?”
“Please,” you breathe out, a long drawn out moan escaping you when he complies, pulling his cock out and pushing it back in, eyes never straying from yours.
He sets up a slow pace, going in impossibly deep, hitting all the spots that make you see stars, trailing wet kisses down your jaw and neck until he reaches your chest, sucking a nipple into his mouth as your head falls back against the duvet, eyes falling shut in bliss.
You almost want to curse yourself for waiting this long, for being too focused on your work to experience this, but you're also eternally grateful that you waited for him, there was no doubt in your mind that he was the perfect person for this. You feel him smirking against your chest, hips never stopping as he lets go of your nipple with a pop.
He lets you pull him into another short kiss, violet eyes staring into yours, hovering over your face, only a breath away as he keeps going, speeding up a bit, going harder as you struggled to keep eye contact, damn near purring at the way you trembled and your walls fluttered around his cock.
Time seemed to stop as you got lost in his eyes, in the pleasure he was bringing you, only noticing how close to the edge you already were when you were about to fall. A rushed warning tumbles past your lips as you descend into madness, his hips grinding into you as shivers run through your body and moans of his name echo around the room, every nerve on your body alive with pleasure.
He fucks you through your orgasm, grinding into your cunt and cooing at your fucked out expression until his hips start faltering, going in deeper as his own high reaches him, barely pulling out of you in time, stroking his cock maddeningly as rope after rope of cum falls on your stomach and chest, his own needy moans filling the room this time.
Chests rising and falling, both of you do your best to catch your breaths and fall back down to earth. Swallowing down the dryness in your throat, you open your eyes to find him mesmerized by the way his cum paints your torso, one hand pushing his sticky hair out of his forehead as a drop trickles down your breast.
A devious thought crosses your mind. Reaching down your body, you gather a bit of his cum with your finger, bringing it up to your lips as his eyes follow the movement, moaning at his taste and the hunger in his eyes, smirking at the curse that he lets out. You reach down again, wanting to repeat the action when he catches your hand, stopping you so he can do it himself, feeding you his cum on his own fingers, cursing as you clean them up happily.
“I think I'm going to keep you, darling,” he declares, eyes fixed on your mouth as you lick your lips.
“Is that so?”
“Yes,” he breathes out, leaning down to kiss you. “You're all fucking mine now.”
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verycoolusername1 · 6 days ago
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But Two Though?
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Summary: In which you're so in love with your boyfriend that you see yourself starting a family with him and you obviously had to sing about it!
Track 10 of short n' sweet - juno
Quinn Hughes x Singer!reader
Warning: romantic themes, kissing, pet names, mentions of children, mentions of parenting, and mentions of sex.
A/N: even tho it's a singer reader this imagine also has AFAB!reader(cause of the song lmao) I still use they/them pronouns, no need to worry about that.
Juno is literally so good, and since I gave Nico bed chem, I just HAD to give quinn Juno! Hope you enjoy. And I had this fun idea of embarrassing Quinn when he's with his family on stage last night soooooo
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You were estastic when you found out Quinn and his family would be at your concert tonight.
You brushed your hair for what felt like the hundredth time as you calmed your nerves.
Your manager later called you to get on stage, and you rushed there immediately. Your fans cheered as they saw you with your guitar.
"Hi everyone!" You waved to them all.
The crowd roared in excitement as they saw you and sang along to your many songs till the very last one. Little did they know that you had a little surprise.
You finished your last set, and when you didn't go off the stage like you normally would have, your fans grew in confusion but nonetheless enjoyed it.
"You didn't think the show was over, did you?" You chuckled teasingly. "I just have a little special song."
Your fans gasped as the Hughes looked at Quinn for an answer that never came.
"I wrote this song but I'm like never gonna release it." You chuckled. "Might give it to sabs- Sabrina or something. She'll certainly know what to do with it."
Your fans cheered at the slip-up not nonetheless you continued.
"I can't say much about this song, but... it is different from my other songs, different from older and five seconds flat." You explained. You and Quinn were quite private about your relationship, so you didn't want to go overboard on the speech. "I don't know how to describe it, but it made me feel things I didn't even know I would ever feel. This song is called Juno, like the movie Enjoy."
Your fans cheered to your speech as you strung notes on your guitar.
"Don't have to tell your hot ass a thing, oh yeah you just get it." You sang. "Whole package babe, I like the way you fit god bless your dad genetics."
Your mind flashes to you and Quinn in bed, cuddling next to each other in the night. The love you two shared never fading only growing stronger after that night.
"Will this change something between us?" You asked, looking up at him.
"What? No, never. We're still us, you know that." He reassured you.
"Still us." You confirmed in his hold.
Quinn looked at you in confusion. He knew your songwriting, it was a shock that this song was more upbeat and not lyrical there was a hint of fun behind it.
"I know you want my touch for life. If you love me right, then who knows," You hummed. "I might let you make me Juno."
He knew this song was about him, but how? Unless... Oh... oh
You saw Quinn as he interacted with J.T.'s kids and how easy it was to do so. It made your heart swell.
Natalie came up behind you. "You want one, don't you?"
You put a hand on your heart, currently not expecting it. "What?"
"A kid," She clarifies.
Your face flushed as you realized you have been caught. "I mean sure one day but it's too early."
"Well it doesn't help to try now, talk to him." She encouraged.
"Believe me, we've been trying." You chuckled dryly, Natalie on the other hand laughed loud.
"What's so funny?" Quinn was in front of you two now, holding one of the kids at his hip and you couldn't help but wonder... what if that was your kid?
"Oh nothing, Y/N just telling me what an amazing cook you are." Natalie winks at you as she takes her leave with her kid in tow.
Quinn eyed her suspiciously. "Okay... what were you two really talking about?"
"Exactly what she said, how you're a great cook, an amazing one." You lied through your teeth.
Quinn knew you were lying, if anything you was a much better cook than he was but he decided to let it slide and hugged you from behind the rest of the time.
You continued on with the song, getting out of your comfort zone more and more with each line. "Adore me, hold me and explore me, mark your territory tell me I'm the only, only, only, only one."
Luke hums. "This song is definitely was not what I expected."
Jack exclaims. "I'm sorry, did they just say what I think they just said? They just said they're horny on stage."
"You don't have to repeat it." Quinn mutters, his face getting flushed as the song came to a close.
Ellen looked at her son lovingly. "Been together five years and you still get shy when you hear a song they wrote about you."
"Let's not tease him too much he still has yet to ask the question." Jim joked.
"Dad," Quinn groaned.
"You can borrow my ring sweetie, the replica that is." Ellen offers.
"No mom it's not that..." Quinn trailed off.
Jack being the first one to realize, gasped aloud, and shook Luke back and forth. "You already have a ring!"
"I'm going to wait for them backstage." Quinn began to walk away.
"At this rate, we're gonna have to propose for him." Luke mutters, Ellen hit him on the head as a response as they followed Quinn.
When the rest of the family got there, you was already in Quinn's arms looking at him lovingly. They decided to go into their own conversations, letting you two talk alone.
"Did you like the song at the end?" Your voice began timid, the more you grew vulnerable.
Quinn hums. "Yeah, it was nice. Didn't know you wanted a kid with me."
"Yeah, I've been meaning to tell you about that." You look away from his gaze but he quickly gets it back.
"I want to have kids with you too Y/N. If I wanted anyone to make me a father it would be you." Quinn admits.
"You really that?" You said hopefully.
"Of course I do, but I would want to do something first before we get started." He says.
You grow confused. "And what would that be honey?"
"I would like to marry you." Quinn says without hesitation.
Your eyes widened in size as you took in his words. "You want to marry me?"
"I don't have the ring with me right now and I love you too much to say just one speech but I do know that I see myself spending the rest of my life with you, if you'll have me." Quinn looks at you hopefully.
"I'll always want you Quinn, I would be glad to marry you." You caressed his cheek, his eyes closing at your touch.
"I love you guys but please do not make me an uncle tonight." Jack says.
You both glared at Jack who quickly back off, he mutters a sorry and says he'll meet them in the car, Luke joining him.
Once they're gone, Quinn looks at his parents with a shy smile. "We're getting married."
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slut4thebroken · 1 year ago
Text
Practice Makes Perfect
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Pairing | stepdad!Jackson Rippner x reader
Summary | You go to your stepdad for help… with very pure intentions… obviously. (Heheh)
Warnings | Smut, 18+, sexual content, innocence kink, corruption, large age gap, but not under age, hand jobs, oral both m and f receiving, spanking, daddy kink technically, also incest I guess?, groping, thigh riding, praise, a sprinkle of degradation and humiliation.
Words | 7.5 k
Notes | I hope it was worth the wait folks. Also ionno how I feel about this gif but whatever lol
Ao3 link | <3
Masterlist
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You liked making men crave what they could never have, that’s why you dress the way you do. But it seemed like the one man you actually wanted to crave you, never did. Much to your disappointment. 
But you liked doing it in a subtle way, where at first glance, it wouldn’t seem like your goal was to get his attention. You’d wear loose, frilly skirts, always on the shorter side, but not short enough to be too obvious, and tight crop tops that were somewhat see-through. You also liked wearing pretty dresses and knee high socks and dainty jewelry and soft makeup. All of which at first glance would just seem like a cute, unintentionally sexy— yet still in an innocent way somehow— outfit. 
Nothing you ever did caught his eye though. Sometimes you’d forego the bra all together so that your nipples were just barely poking through the thin fabric of your top, but you still didn't get a reaction. So you decided to step it up. 
“Mr. Rippner?” You asked quietly, making him look up from the computer screen as you hesitantly walked in. 
“How many times have I told you to call me Jackson.” He said teasingly.  
“Sorry…” You couldn’t help the blush that painted your cheeks when he gave you a soft smile. 
“What's up?” 
“I can come back later if you’re busy…”
“Never too busy for you. Come sit.” He clicked a few buttons on the computer then gave you his full attention. You dragged one of the arm chairs a little closer to his desk, then sat down. 
“I just… had a question— questions. But I’m scared to ask my mom.” You said quietly, nervously playing with the fabric of your skirt. 
“Scared?” 
“I don’t want her to see me any differently… and I’m scared that asking this might do that.” 
“You can talk to me.” His tone was so genuine that it made you want to tell him anything and everything about yourself, even your deepest secrets. His warm smile wasn’t helping much either. 
“Thank you… So, um— there’s this guy that I like..” He just barely stiffened when you said that. “He’s older,”
“How much older?” 
“A little more than twenty years…” 
“He’s in his forties?” 
“Early fourties, yes.” You said quietly, not able to maintain eye contact any longer. You couldn’t figure out what emotion was on his face right now. “But I really really like him, Mr. Rippner, and he treats me right.” 
“Any man going after you who’s that old will not treat you right.” 
“Oh…” You kept your eyes on your lap as your chest ached. Even though this wasn’t a direct rejection it still hurt. “Sorry.” 
“Hey— no, I'm sorry.” His tone was noticeably softer. “I just worry about you, kiddo.” Your whole face heated up at the name, as it always does. “I'm sorry. If you still want to talk, I'm here for you.” 
“Thanks…” When he didn’t say anything, you took that as your cue to continue. “I- I’ve been having.. bad thoughts about him, Mr. Rippner. And I know that it’s wrong, but I just can’t help it. I don’t even really know what he’s making me feel, just that it makes me feel dirty…” His cheek tensed as he clenched his jaw.  
“Inappropriate thoughts, you mean?” He clarified and you nodded in response. “I see. And before I respond, what exactly is it that you’re asking me?” 
“I- I want to impress him… but I’ve never done.. anything. I’m scared I’ll make a fool of myself, so I was hoping… you could help me?”
“Help you?” He choked out. You nodded and bit your lip. “Let me just make sure I’m hearing this right. You want to fuck a man twice your age,” you blushed at his crude words, “but you’re nervous about it… so you’re asking your step father, who’s also twice your age, to help you practice so you feel more confident?” 
“I’m sorry, this was stupid.” You muttered as you got to your feet. 
“Sit down.” His voice was technically still soft, but you could hear the underlying sternness in his tone, so you lowered yourself back down in the chair. “Why me?” 
“I just… I trust you a lot, Mr. Rippner— more than most. I know you’d never do anything to take advantage of me.” You said, even though you hoped he would. 
“And what about your mom?” That made you frown. 
“I didn’t mean it in a cheating way. Just for you to show me what to do— to teach me. That’s not cheating.” 
“Sweetheart…” He started, making your frown deepen. “You understand why this would be wrong other than that, right?” 
“…No.” You did. 
“Not even talking about the fact that I'm twice your age— I’m your step father. This is not something that step fathers teach their step daughters.” He explained gently. 
“Oh.. I guess you don’t have to, then. I can just… ask him to teach me or something.” 
“Absolutely not.” He said sternly, startling you. “Telling him that will practically give him the green light to manipulate and coerce you.” 
“He wouldn’t do that.” You frowned. 
“Yes he would. Every man would.” 
“Clearly not every man.” You muttered. 
“Look,” he sighed, “I do want to help you, kiddo, but it’s more complicated than that.” 
“It doesn’t have to be..” 
“But it is.” 
“Are you not attracted to me?” You asked suddenly. “Is that why?” He sighed again and looked away from you, making your stomach churn. “Oh.” You felt like you were about to cry any minute now— this is not going how it was supposed to at all. You felt stupid and embarrassed and you wished you never came in here. 
“I…” he sighed, “It's not that. I shouldn’t be attracted to you, honey. It’s wrong.”
“…But you are?” He said ‘shouldn’t’ so maybe that’s a good sign. 
“It’s doesn’t matter if I am,” 
“I’m attracted to you, Mr. Rippner.” You said quietly, waiting nervously for his reaction. “It doesn’t feel wrong.” He let out a heavy breath and closed his eyes as his head tilted back a little. You watched him carefully, trying to figure out what he was thinking. When he suddenly leaned back up and opened his eyes, they were significantly darker, the pretty, pale blue almost gone now. “Mr. Rippner?” You asked when he didn’t say anything. 
“I’m not going to show you, but I’ll tell you. How does that sound?” You frowned and looked away. 
“Okay… If you think that’s best, I trust you.” You said, silently praying for him to do more than talk to you. 
“Let’s just start off with you telling me what you do know.” 
“Um… Well, I’ve seen people kiss.. and I’ve tried to practice, but it feels awkward and I don’t want it to be weird when it happens.” 
“You never kissed anyone?” His eyebrows were raised as he stared at you in poorly concealed surprise. 
“…No.” You said, voice small. 
“Okay,” he cleared his throat and shifted in his chair, “okay. What else?” 
“I mean… I think I mostly know how the rest of it goes? The part where.. I don’t really do much. It’s the other parts that I don’t know.” 
“You mean foreplay?” You nodded with a blush. “And you know how to practice safe sex, right?” 
“A condom?” 
“That’s the most common way, yes.” He leaned back in his chair and let out a heavy breath. “Okay. I think I can help you out with some of it, but the rest you might just need to practice on your own. 
“But I have!” Your blush deepened when you realized what you just implied. 
“You have?”
“I- I mean.. I just— It…” Nothing you could say would save you. 
“Dirty girl… Do you have a toy hidden somewhere?” He said teasingly and you didn’t know how to respond, not when the real answer is so much more embarrassing and perverted. 
“Something like that..” He examined you carefully, making you feel like he was uncovering every secret you've ever had. 
“Oh I see.” He chuckled. “Creative little minx, aren’t you? What’d you use?” You looked down and bit your lip, feeling far too embarrassed right now. “Hairbrush handle? Cucumber?” 
“Stop teasing me, Mr. Rippner.” You pouted and he gave you a small smile.
“I’ll stop teasing once you stop calling me that.” When your gaze stayed on your lap, he continued. “Where'd you use it? Your mouth or your cunt?” Your head snapped up with a gasp at his vulgar language. 
“Mr. Rippner!” You scolded him, but your cheeks were far too red to uphold the sternness of your reprimand.
“It’s just a simple question, kiddo. You’re going to have to get used to those words if you want my help. I can’t really explain it without saying it.” 
“I- I know. It just caught me off guard is all and um… mouth.” You muttered, not able to maintain eye contact. “But I couldn't do it, it was too hard.” 
“What’d you try to do, sweetheart?”
“I dunno… just— anything that I thought might be right. I didn’t really know what to do.” You looked up at him with puppy dog eyes. “Need someone to teach me…” 
“You know that I can’t.” He said softly. 
“But how else am I supposed to learn? Why can’t you just help me?” You pouted, making him sigh. 
“I am helping you.” 
“But….” You were going to beg again, but so far that’s gotten you nowhere, so you decided to try something else. “Fine— I’ll just find someone else!” You said, standing up and turning around to walk out. 
“Sit down. I won’t tell you again.” He said sternly, making you freeze, but not turn around yet. 
“Mr. Rippner…” You finally turned back to face him, but you couldn’t look at him, “I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one day,”
“You really don’t want me to tell you again.” He warned and for the first time, you felt a little afraid of him. It was flustered fear, but fear nonetheless. You slowly walked back over and sat down again. 
“Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to help you, but you’re not going to tell anyone. Especially your mother. Do you understand?” You couldn’t help the smile that creeped up on your face as you nodded. 
“Come here.” You got back up and walked around the desk, waiting awkwardly for the next instruction. “On your knees.” Your stomach fluttered and you could feel the ache between your legs that you usually get when you’re near him. Slowly lowering yourself to the ground, you placed your hands on your lap and looked up at him as he rolled his chair back and faced you. 
“Do whatever you think is right. I’ll stop you or tell you what to do if you need help.” Even though that made you nervous because there was a higher chance you’d embarrass yourself, you agreed. 
Shuffling forward, you settled between his legs and reached for his belt. The bulge in his pants was already making your mouth water and you pressed your thighs together without thinking. His breath hitched when you accidentally brushed his crotch, but he let you continue until his pants were open enough for you to pull them down a little and reach inside to take out his length. 
You gasped at the size of him and stared at it with wide eyes and slightly parted lips— how is this ever going to fit.. anywhere inside you when it barely fits in your hand? He brushed your hair out of your face and you swallowed thickly as you forced your eyes away from his length to look up at him. 
“Y-you’re… Are they all this big?” You asked nervously, making him chuckle quietly. 
“Not all, but I’m only a little above average.” 
“Oh.” So the average is only a little smaller? That didn’t ease your nerves at all. 
“Just take it slow, kiddo. Don’t rush into it, go at whatever pace you’re comfortable with.” You were struggling to get yourself to follow the soft demand because of how badly you wanted to impress him. “Start with your hand.” You nodded and swallowed down the lump in your throat as you reached for his length. Tentatively grasping it in your hand, you stroked him slowly, looking up at him for confirmation. “A little harder, love.” You squeezed harder, but immediately pulled back when he winced. 
“I’m sorry,” 
“That’s okay. Here,” he took your hand in his and wrapped it around his cock, moving it slowly. “Like this, okay?” When you nodded, he let go for you to continue on your own. You noticed that his limited reactions seemed to mostly happen when you were at the tip, so you focused on that, rubbing your thumb over the bead of clear liquid on top, making him curse under his breath. 
“You know what that is?” He asked, almost breathlessly. 
“…Precum?” You were terrified of embarrassing yourself by saying the wrong thing, but you vaguely remembered learning that somewhere. 
“That’s right.. good girl. Have a taste.” With a blush from the praise, you tentatively brought your hand up and sucked your thumb into your mouth. “Do you like it?”
“I think so. It’s… watery but a little sweet almost?” He laughed quietly and you gave him a small smile. 
“Keep going.” You started stroking him again, keeping the pace a little slow as you got used to it. “Do you want to try using your mouth now?” You looked up at him nervously, but nodded anyway. “Okay, just suck on the tip while you keep stroking it.” You shuffled forward even closer and placed your free hand on his thigh to steady yourself as you leaned up a little. When you wrapped your lips around the head of his cock, he let out a shaky breath and put his hand on top of yours on his thigh. 
“Suck it and flick your tongue over it,” you obeyed and he let out a low moan, “there you go… Keep using your hand.” You hadn’t even realized you stopped stroking him until he mentioned it. 
“Atta girl. You’re a natural, kiddo.” You couldn’t help the whimper that slipped out at the praise, even if he was just teasing you. You continued stroking his length while mouthing at the tip, not sure what to do next. Thankfully he seemed ready to help you with that. 
“You want to draw it out a little so how about you practice kissing, hm?” You perked up at the thought of finally being able to kiss him, but almost pouted when you realized he didn’t mean on his lips. You gave the tip and quick kiss, then looked up at him, asking a silent question of what to do. “Kiss all over it, sweetheart.” You obeyed, working your way down the underside of his cock. “Good girl. Keep going down.” You were quickly reaching the base and you looked up at him in confusion. 
“You didn’t think you were just going to suck my cock, did you?” He chuckled, making you frown. You did think that… What else would you suck? “Start with kissing and licking my balls.” That made you pull back as your eyes widened. 
“Your— But… Is that,” 
“You’re not going to impress any man with a mediocre blow job. I’m trying to help you, baby.” You didn’t know that was a thing you had to do… and for some reason it felt dirtier than everything you’ve done so far. He picked up on your apprehension and his teasing smirk dropped into a more serious expression. 
“Hey, we don’t have to.” He said softly, genuinely. “The second you change your mind, we’re done, no questions asked. I can make you some hot chocolate and put on that movie you like and we don’t have to mention this ever again.” 
“I…” You swallowed the lump in your throat as your gaze shifted between his eyes and his cock. “Can we still do all of that after we do this?” You asked timidly, making the corners of his lips turn up into a small smile as he reached out to pet your hair. 
“Of course we can, kiddo. I’m pretty much done with work for the day so I’m all yours until it’s your bedtime.” You flushed at the mention of the silly rule he was so adamant about implementing. You told him that you’re an adult and adults don’t have bedtimes and he said that he just wants what’s best for you and that getting a good night's sleep is one of the best things you could do to take care of yourself. You didn’t protest again after that— mostly just because you liked the idea of him having that power over you. 
“Since it’s Friday… could we maybe.. extend my bedtime?” You asked coyly, staring up at him with wide pleading eyes. He raised his brows as he looked down at you for a moment before letting out a breathy laugh and looking away. 
“You’re getting too spoiled. I might as well start calling you princess.” He said with a sly smile, making you blush. 
“If I’m your princess, does that make you my daddy?” You asked innocently, making his breath catch in his throat, but he recovered quickly and decided to tease you a little. 
“Now where did you learn something like that?” Your blush intensified and you couldn’t maintain eye contact any longer. 
“Heard some classmates talking about it…” 
“Aren’t you a nosy little thing? But no kiddo, that doesn’t make me your daddy. I’m still just plain old stepdad Jackson.” He said with a small shrug. 
“But… if I want you to be?” You asked nervously. He let out a heavy breath that turned into a quiet chuckle. 
“If you want me to be… Then, we'll do a trial run tonight, how does that sound?”  
“Good. Thank you, daddy.” You decided to try it out immediately and it was strange how natural the word fell from your lips. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw his cock twitch. 
“Okay, princess. You do a good job and I’ll reward you by pushing your bedtime back an hour.” That made your face light up, but you were feeling bold right now. 
“…Two?” 
“Thirty minutes?” He asked, in the same tone as you, making you pout and accept his original offer of one hour. “Pick up where you left off.” He spread his legs to give you more room to shuffle forward and lean your face close to his length, but instead of aiming for his cock, you went lower. You did as he instructed, kissing and licking them gently. It felt dirty and wrong doing this, but somehow, at the same time, like the most fulfilling thing you've ever done. 
“Now suck one into your mouth.” The second your lips wrapped around one, he cursed under his breath and let out a sigh of pleasure, but it quickly turned into a wince, making you pull back instantly. “Gotta be gentler, honey.” 
“Sorry. I’m sorry.” You rushed out, face flushing with shame, and he shushed you. 
“It’s okay. Just do it a little softer.” You hesitantly leaned forward to try once again, now much more apprehensive this time. “There you go…” He cooed, “Few more seconds, then do the same to the other one. Don’t forget to use your hand on my cock while you do this.” You blushed at the crude words but wrapped a hand around his length again to start pumping slowly before releasing him with a loud pop and moving to the other one. His sounds gave you confidence and you flicked your tongue as you sucked, then pulled back to keep licking and kissing while you stroked him. It was hard to multitask though with how overwhelmed you were getting from his scent and his hand holding yours on his thigh and just his closeness. 
You tried not to get too embarrassed when your spit kept building up until it was covering your lips and chin, making you feel even dirtier. But you realized that you like how it feels. You like feeling filthy as you make him feel good. 
You kept mouthing at his balls, occasionally sucking on them, and he placed his free hand on your head, stroking your hair. 
“Fuck… Look at you— Are you sure you’ve never done this before?” He asked teasingly, not giving you a chance to reply before speaking again. “There’s no way this mouth belongs to my innocent little girl.” You blushed, feeling shy at the compliment. 
“Daddy…” You whined against him, never stopping the movement of your hand or mouth. 
“It’s okay, kiddo. You just keep sucking on my balls and stroking my cock. Don’t need to do anything else.” You whimpered and squirmed at his feet, quickly growing uncomfortable with the weird feeling between your legs. 
“Daddy, it hurts.” You didn’t want to disobey him by stopping right after he told you to keep going, so you barely pulled back enough to get the words out. 
“What hurts?” You whined quietly and pressed your thighs together. His gaze traveled down your body curiously. “Your cunt?” You mewled and blushed at the vulgar word, but nodded in agreement. 
“You’re a proper whore, aren’t you?” He chuckled, making you frown and pull back. 
“No…” 
“There’s no need to be embarrassed, baby. If sucking balls is what gets you off, that’s nothing to be ashamed of.” 
“Stop making fun of me.” You pouted, making him smile. “And ‘m not a whore.” 
“Of course you’re not a whore, princess. You’re my whore.” Your entire face heated up and the ache between your legs got infinitely worse. “Isn’t that right?” You whined quietly and he chuckled. 
“Y-yes…” You whispered. “Yours.” 
“My what?” Your expression turned into a pout and you averted your gaze. “Hm?”
“Your— your whore.” You choked out as tears welled in your eyes from the humiliation of it all.  
“Good girl. Keep going.” 
“But,” He gave you a warning look so you ignored the fire in your belly and leaned back in. Your hand picked up again as you tried new things with your mouth on his balls, making sure to repeat the ones that drew any sounds from him. There was even more saliva now and you could feel some of it dripping down your neck to your chest.
“Go a little lower now.” 
“W-what?” You choked out, trying to pull back, but he used the hand on your head to hold you there. “Relax, kiddo. Just a little bit.” He explained, but you were still apprehensive. He pushed you down until your chin hit the chair then pulled you closer, burying your nose into his balls and holding you there. 
“Lick.” He demanded, but you weren’t sure what you were supposed to be licking. Since you weren’t able to question him, you just stuck your tongue out and moved it as best you could with how close he was holding you to his body. “There you fucking go.” He groaned, bucking his hips against your face. 
“So fuckin’ filthy.” He said through a breath. Despite the degrading words he used, his tone was full of admiration and pride. “Covered in your own spit as you lick my taint.” He chuckled, voice a little darker now. “Work your way back up slowly.” He lessened the pressure on your head and you gave one last lick before moving up to his balls, mouthing at them for a few seconds, then kissing up his length until you reached the tip. You pulled back and looked up at him, waiting for the next instruction eagerly. 
“…I’m on the fence about teaching you this.” You furrowed your brows in confusion. 
“What is it?”
“It’s not necessary for a good blow job, you can leave a guy plenty satisfied with what I’ve taught you so far, but this just makes it even better.” You wanted to make him feel even better so there wasn’t any doubt in your mind. 
“Please teach me?” You asked, even though you still weren’t really sure what he was talking about. 
“Are you sure?”
“Please, daddy.” You whined. 
“Okay, princess. Hands off.” You let go of his cock and placed your hand on his thigh. “Open.” Your mouth fell open and he adjusted so he was gripping your hair, then slowly lowered you onto him. 
“First I want you to show me how far down you can take it.” He kept his grip on your hair, but let you move freely. Slowly forcing yourself down, you looked up at him for a moment before taking a deep breath through your nose and closing your eyes to concentrate. This is what you’re not good at. You kept going down until he brushed the back of your mouth. When you tried to move down even more, you gagged and had to pull off. 
“Good girl. Almost halfway.” You all but beamed at the praise. “I’m going to try holding you there. Pinch my thigh if it’s too much, okay?” You nodded and he gave you a small smile. “Take a deep breath.” You inhaled and let your mouth fall open, waiting for him to guide you down onto his cock. He pushed your head slowly until he reached the back of your mouth, then held you still. You were fine for a few seconds as you breathed heavily through your nose and focused on suppressing your gag reflex, but once it started, you couldn’t stop it and you had to pinch his thigh. 
“That was good, kiddo. You’re already getting better. Just try to keep your mouth open wider so your teeth aren’t touching it, okay?” 
“Okay. Sorry…” You looked away, feeling embarrassed. You didn’t know how you were supposed to open your mouth any wider when your jaw was already starting to ache because of his size. 
“Don’t apologize. You’re learning, you’re bound to make a mistake or two.” He said, easing your nerves. 
“Can I try again?” 
“Whenever you’re ready.” You sank down on his cock voluntarily this time and took deep breaths through your nose as he held you there. You didn’t want to gag, but you could feel it coming anyway. When it happened, you squeezed his thighs to keep yourself from pinching him, wanting to hold out a little longer. He shushed you and used a hand to pet your head while the other held you down as your body instinctively tried to pull up. 
“Good girl. See if you can control it.” You squeezed your eyes shut with a strangled whimper and tried to breathe slowly. “That’s it… I'm going to pull you up a little so you can take a breath.” He lifted you only an inch or so up and you heaved in a shaky breath before he pushed you back down. You weren’t expecting him to actually only let you take a single breath, so you gagged again the second he hit the back of your mouth. This time though, you gagged hard enough to make you feel like you could throw up if it happened just one more time so you pinched him and he pulled you off. 
A string of saliva connected your lips to his cock and you panted heavily, trying to catch your breath and push down the nausea. 
“I’m so proud of you, kiddo. You’re doing amazing.” It didn’t feel like you were doing amazing, but you blushed at the compliment anyway. 
“Thank you.” You rasped, giving him a small smile. He cupped your cheek, rubbing the saliva on your lips around a little as he returned the expression. 
“Keep this up and I might consider pushing your bedtime back two hours instead.” Your face lit up at that and he laughed under his breath. 
“Really?” 
“You deserve it.” You smiled and his thumb swiped over your lips again, so you took it into your mouth and sucked lightly. “Christ— You’re going to kill me, baby.” He groaned, making you blush. “Do you think you can try something a little harder now?” 
“I think so.” You said quietly, after reluctantly pulling away from his thumb to speak. 
“I’m going to push you down farther, okay? You’ll probably gag, but I know you can take it.” He pushed your hair out of your face and gave you a reassuring smile. You nodded and moved closer to his length, taking a deep breath and waiting for him to push you down. He did it slowly and stopped once he reached the back of your mouth. Placing both hands on the back of your head, he applied more pressure, but did it quickly. You gagged instantly, but it cut off into a garbled whimper when he breached your throat barrier and pushed you all the way down until your nose was buried in his pelvis and your chin was resting on his balls. 
“Fuck— good fucking girl.” He said through a moan. You tried to stay there despite the intense need to gag, but it was quickly becoming too much. “You feel incredible, baby.” You squeezed your eyes shut, hearing him curse under his breath as you choked. When you couldn’t take it anymore, you pinched his thigh and he hesitated for a second before letting you pull off. He stroked your hair as you coughed and tried to catch your breath. You looked up at him through teary eyes and his other hand moved to cup your cheek and brush his thumb over your lips that were slick with even more saliva now. 
“How you holding up?” He asked softly and you cleared your throat before responding. 
“Good I think..” 
“Do you want to stop?” Kind of… but at the same time you wanted more. More of this— more of him. 
“No- no… I want to keep going.”
“Don’t just say that because you think it’s what I want to hear,”
“‘m not. Wanna keep going.” You whined. 
“Do you want to keep doing this or go back to what you were doing before?” He seemed to like this the most and you wanted to practice so you could get better for him. So even though your throat was already sore, you said yes. 
“This.” 
“Okay, baby. Whenever you’re ready.” You cleared your throat again and tried to even out your breathing before wrapping your lips around the tip again, waiting for him to push you back down. He moved you slowly until he reached the back of your mouth and you braced yourself for what was about to happen. 
Even though you were anticipating it, you still gagged when he applied more pressure, and then choked when he finally entered your throat. You were coughing and sputtering around him, each time forcing more spit out of your mouth, making your face heat up when you felt more of it roll down your neck to your chest. 
“That’s it… Good girl.” The moan that escaped you because of his praise sounded more like a garbled, incoherent sound rather than anything else. “Fuck— I’m gonna come, baby.” He groaned, making your stomach flutter. 
You wanted nothing more than to pull off so you could breathe and cough, but you wanted to let him finish. So you squeezed his thighs hard enough to make him wince and his hips flinched up, burying his cock even deeper. 
“When I pull out, keep your mouth open.” He rushed out and you could only make a strangled sound in return. His hips were rutting up into your mouth now as he kept a tight grip on your head, not letting you move when your body reflexively tried to pull away. He cursed under his breath, then let out a loud groan, and you felt heat in your throat until he pulled out. You coughed, but tried to keep your mouth open as he stroked his cock in front of you, making more come land on your tongue and around your lips. When his sounds quieted and his hand slowed to a stop, he stared down at you as he panted. 
“Swallow.” He demanded softly. You reluctantly closed your mouth and swallowed, then he swiped up the come that landed on your face and put it on your tongue for you to swallow as well. 
You tried not to let it show in your expression, but you weren’t expecting it to taste like that at all and it caught you off guard. Especially because you were expecting more of the sweet taste that the precum had. 
“Everyone tastes like that?” You asked quietly, making him chuckle. 
“I wouldn’t really know, sweetheart, but I would assume so.” He wiped your tears and the spit from your chin and your stomach fluttered again at the soft, simple action. “You did such a good job. I’m so proud, kiddo.” Your whole face flushed at the compliment, but you didn’t understand why he said it since it didn’t seem like you improved much. 
“Thank you..” You said anyway, making the corners of his lips turn up into a small smile. 
“Get up here, princess.” You immediately got giddy at the thought of being so close to him and you eagerly climbed onto the chair and straddled his legs, putting your hands on his shoulders. He rubbed up and down your thighs slowly, teasing you. 
“Do you think you’ve learned enough?” You tried not to frown at the thought of this ending so soon. 
“No…” You muttered, looking down. 
“No? What else can I teach you, baby?” He chuckled. You knew his question was rhetorical, but you answered anyway. 
“I- I don’t know how to… touch myself.” You said with a blush and his eyes widened a little. 
“You don’t touch yourself?” He asked through a breath, almost completely frozen. 
“I’ve tried… I just end up feeling awkward and dumb so I stop. But I need you, daddy, it hurts. Make it go away.” You whined, giving him puppy dog eyes and a frown. He cursed under his breath and closed his eyes for a moment, his grip tightening on your thighs. 
“Fuck— fuck, okay. I’ll teach you, but after that, no more.” 
“Okay.” You agreed, even though you knew you were going to be begging him to keep going when he decided to stop. He took a deep breath and you waited anxiously for him to do something. 
“You have to start slow, build up to it. Women are different from men, they need more than we do to get started.” His hands dragged up your thighs— over your skirt— to your hips, then up your waist, and sadly back down again. 
“Don’t wanna start slow.” You whined, squirming in his lap. 
“You told me to teach you and that’s what I’m doing, princess.” You huffed and looked away from him with a pout. When he suddenly grabbed your cheeks in one hand, then turned you back to face him and pulled you closer, your breath caught in your throat. 
“I don’t want any attitude from you when I’m the one doing you a favor.” He said lowly, but you were distracted by his breath fanning your lips and his grip on your face. “I control how fast or slow we go. Do you understand?” There was that fear again, only this time you subconsciously tried to grind against him. 
“Y-yes.” You whispered, staring at him with wide eyes, getting needier and needier. “Please,” You whined, squirming again, but stopping when his hand moved down to your throat. 
“What did I just say?” He gritted. 
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry— But I can’t take this anymore, it’s torture!” You cried. He stared at you with a dark look that made you nervous and you waited anxiously for what was next. 
“Fine. Up.”
“Daddy…” You whined, but it cut off then he roughly grabbed your hips and lifted you to your feet. He didn’t even give you a demand before pulling you forward by your hips so that your legs were on either side of one of his. You gasped when he pulled you down and reached for his shoulders to steady yourself. “Grind on my thigh.” 
“W-what?” You choked out, eyes widening even more. 
“If you want to act like a bitch in heat, that’s how you’ll be treated. Hump my fucking thigh or we’re done for tonight.” He menaced, making your whole face heat up. You’ve never heard such degrading words before, especially not aimed at you, and even though you were probably supposed to be upset that he basically just called you a dog… you started moving your hips anyway. 
“You need to learn,” he landed a hard smack on your ass, making you cry out and tighten your grip on his shoulders, “when to fucking listen.” Another spank, this time on your other cheek. “I didn’t have to let you suck my cock, but I did…” When he hit you again, you felt tears brimming in your eyes. “I didn’t have to teach you how to deep throat,” you let out a choked sob when he hit you again, the hardest so far, “but I did.” He growled, spanking you twice in quick succession. 
“I’m sorry!” You cried, squeezing your eyes shut. 
“Look at the fucking mess you’re making.” He roughly fisted your hair and forced your head down so you could see the damp spot on his pants where you were grinding. You whined, getting so overwhelmed with the feeling between your legs and his words and his hands and just him. 
“Get the fuck up.” He suddenly said, making your heart drop. Was he going to leave you like this? All needy and achy?
“Daddy, ‘m sorry.” You whimpered, staring at him with puppy dogs eyes and a pout. In response, he just lifted you off of him by your hips and stood up. You protested with a whine, but it cut off when he pushed you in front of the desk and roughly forced your chest down on it. You tried lifting yourself up, but he just placed a firm hand between your shoulder blades and forced you back down. 
“Stay.” He growled, making you stiffen. He flipped your skirt up and you squirmed with a low whine. “No shorts?” He spanked you again and you quickly scrambled for purchase on the desk. When he roughly groped your ass, you let out a quiet moan and squeezed your thighs together, but he kicked your legs apart, not letting you have any relief. 
“Daddy…” You whined, but it cut off into a yelp when he spanked you again. He roughly cupped your sex and you mewled in response as you pushed your hips back. 
“Such a needy fucking pussy for a virgin.” He gruffed, making you blush, but it only intensified when he pulled your panties to the side. 
“Fuck…” He muttered, then dragged a finger through your slit, spreading your arousal. “Fuck!” You jumped at the sudden increase in volume. Was he mad? He sounded like he was quickly losing his composure and you weren’t exactly sure why or how you could help him. 
“Daddy?” 
“Shut up.” He hissed, roughly gripping your underwear and pulling until he ripped it off of you. “Just shut the fuck up.” 
“Mmph!” He shoved your panties in your mouth before you could even register what was happening. He ignored you and roughly groped your ass again, pulling you apart to spread your holes and cursing under his breath. When wetness and heat replaced the chilly air on your clit, your hips flinched back toward the pleasure as a surprise moan escaped you. 
He licked over you slowly, still having a firm grip on your ass to keep you spread open. Moving up to your hole, he licked and sucked, making a loud, vulgar slurping sound that had you whining from embarrassment. 
You whimpered, hiding your burning face in your arms. He lapped up your arousal for a while before going back down to your clit and sucking it into his mouth. You choked on a whimper at the sudden, intense pleasure, making him chuckle against you. 
Your knees shook and you moved your hands to grip the desk, trying to ground yourself, but it was just so fucking intense. Eventually, your legs got too weak to hold you up and all of your weight was resting on the desk with the hard wood digging into your hip bones painfully. 
You whimpered, feeling your stomach tighten with arousal even more, but let out an anguished sob when he suddenly pulled back. Your head was spinning with how fast he lifted you off of the desk and sat you down on his chair, removing the makeshift gag.
He pulled your hips to the edge and dove back in eagerly. Your hands landed in his hair as you rocked your hips against his face, moaning and whining at the new feeling— you could already tell you were getting addicted. Moving down to your hole, he lapped up your arousal and rubbed his thumb over your clit, making your stomach feel even tighter.  
“If you let that… that fucking pervert anywhere near you I swear to god you won’t be able to sit for a fucking week.” He growled and you moaned at his words as well as the sudden possessiveness in his tone. “This pussy is mine. Do you understand?” You mewled and tugged his hair, trying to pull his mouth back on you, but he was stronger. 
“Y-yes. Yours, daddy.” You whined, tugging harder. “Please!” You cried, when he still wouldn’t give in. “It’s yours, daddy! I’m all yours.” You sobbed out, grinding your hips in hopes of getting the stimulation back. 
“Pull your shirt up.” He gruffed, only leaning back down after you obeyed. His mouth took over his thumb again and he reached up to grope your breast as he sucked on your clit in an almost feral manner. “Who’s tits are these?” He mumbled against you, starting to toy with your nipple now. 
“Yours.” 
“Who’s allowed to see them?” He switched hands, giving your other nipple the same treatment. 
“Only you.” You said through a breath, feeling the coil in your stomach get impossibly tighter. 
“Who’s allowed to touch them?” 
“Only you, daddy. Please!” He didn’t respond, he just worked harder and faster on your clit until you fell over the edge. You sobbed out a moan and pulled on his hair hard enough to make him hiss in pain. But that was overshadowed by the feeling flooding your entire body, making you tremble and writhe as you rutted against his face. You weren’t lying when you said you don’t touch yourself, but now that you know what an orgasm feels like? You might start trying honestly. 
Once your body sagged into the chair and your sounds died down, he pulled back, his lips and chin glistening. You were panting, still trying to calm down even though you were practically dizzy with pleasure. You felt warm hands running up and down your thighs, soothing you, and you gave him a dopey smile as your eyes fluttered open to look down at him. 
“You’ve got quite the grip on you, kiddo.” He chuckled, making you blush and loosen your hands in his hair. 
“Sorry.” You said sheepishly, trying to rub his scalp a little to soothe the ache he must be feeling from you pulling so hard. 
“You okay?” He asked and you nodded wordlessly. “I… I didn’t mean to get so harsh. I just worry.” 
“I know, it’s okay. I won’t go near him.” It felt like you were hit with a wave of exhaustion all of a sudden. Is that what orgasms do? Make you sleepy?
“Good girl. You tired?” When you nodded, he chuckled quietly. “Let’s get you cleaned up really quick. Wait here.” As if you could stand on your wobbly legs. You thought with an internal scoff. He left the room and returned with a damp washcloth a minute later. He started with your face, gently wiping the mascara from under your eyes and the dried spit around your mouth, trailing down your chest. Once that was cleaned up, he went even lower. You jolted when the cloth brushed over your folds. 
“I’ll be quick.” He said, trying to soothe you. He wiped the area gently and you couldn’t help the quiet moan that slipped out when he brushed your clit. “None of that.” He reprimanded you softly and with a smile. When he finished, he pulled your top back down and fixed your skirt. 
“Do you still want that hot chocolate and movie?” You nodded with a lazy smile and he chuckled before picking you up and carrying you to the living room. He set you down on the couch gently and laid a blanket over you, then kissed the top of your head. As he was walking to the kitchen, your brain was already starting to come up with new ways to get this to happen again. You still have so much to learn, after all. 
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kamiversee · 8 months ago
Text
➶-͙˚ ༘✶ 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁*𝘾𝙆 𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏
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✧.* CHAPTER 45 || The Chilling Confession
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[ { SYPNOSIS } ] ➤ A tale in which Gojo Satoru blackmails you into seducing a list of people to clear his debt. Sounds easy enough, right?
[ { CHAPTER CONTENT } ] ➤ language, fluff, dark themes, & semi-angst?
[ { WORD COUNT } ] ➤ 6.5k
[ { PAIRINGS } ] ➤ jjk men x f!reader. gojo x f!reader. geto x f!reader. toji x f!reader. choso x f!reader. sukuna x f!reader. nanami x f!reader.
[ [ chapters mlist } ]
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——YOU DRIFTED OFF to sleep trying to figure out what it is you wanted to do. Maybe you’ll just figure it out as you go from this point on.
After all, it seems as though it’s time for your final arc to take place.
By that, it’s meant that it’s time for you to tell Gojo you’ve completed the list, have him pay you one last time, and then, per his promise, use his help (if needed) to get with Choso.
There’s been so many highs and lows since this entire thing started. So many memories lay locked within your clouded mind. Between the love, passion, anger, and confusion, you think it would be best to allow the rest to flow naturally.
Will you question Gojo? Maybe, maybe not. You haven’t decided yet. Either way, he’s already told you that he had no plans on revealing the truth to you until years later so, there really is no point in asking him anything, is there?
Sure, you’ll remain confused but, confusion may be better than frustration. At least, for right now.
.  . ��� ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
The warmth of the morning sun is what woke you up. Bright rays shined upon your face, making your eyes scrunch together just as they fluttered open.
The side of your face was pressed against a chest-- Nanami’s firm chest. Just as you woke up and angled your head up to his face, you noticed he was already awake, his eyes peering up at the ceiling. The blond seemed to deep in thought before you looked at him, your movement causing him to turn his attention to you.
A small smile was drawn across your lips, “Morning’.” You humed.
Nanami nods, “Good morning.” He replies, his voice deeper than the night prior due to the grogginess of slumber.
This sudden feeling of peace wrapped around you like a blanket as you thought to yourself for just a moment; you could get used to waking up like this.
“Sleep well?” Nanami asked.
His arm was around your waist and you didn’t bother trying to reposition yourself from laying halfway on top of him. “Yeah, you?” Your voice was just as soft as his and you wondered how the morning would play out.
He nodded again, “Slept’ fine.” Nanami says simply, “It’s nice feeling someone snuggling up against me in the middle of the night. It helped me rest.”
You chuckle, “Sorry if I was clingy in my sleep.” As you say that, you start moving to sit up.
The man shrugs, “I enjoyed it.”
One of your hands was against his chest as you sat up comfortably and Nanami’s grasp slid down to rest on your hip. You turned away from him for a moment, taking in the pleasant sight of his well-kept bedroom as the sunlight cascaded over the area.
Bright colors of the furniture made the light reflect and gave the entire room this beautiful golden hue. Truthfully, you could wake up here every day happily.
Nanami suddenly sighs, “Y’know… I’ve uh, I’ve never done this before.”
You blink and then turn your head to him, “This?”
“A one-night stand,” He clarifies.
Well, at least he knows this was a one-time thing…
You chuckle, “Typically, I’d be gone before you woke up.”
He hums, “Is that so?”
“Yeah,” You shrug, “There’s less attachment when you just up and leave.”
Nanami nods, “Less attachments,” He echoes, almost as if he were noting this down in his head. “Yeah, that’s where I’m having difficulty.”
You raise a brow, “One night with me and you’re already attached?”
He chuckles, “Not exactly. I’m just not used to having sex and then parting from someone completely.”
“I see,” You murmur, “Well,” Your gaze grows somber all of a sudden as you trail the tip of your fingers up along his chest, “You’ll forget about me sooner or later.”
Nanami scoffs, “I won’t.”
You meet his eyes, “And why not?”
“I told you,” His other hand goes to yours and he rests his palm on top of where you’d been tracing his skin, “You’re my first one-night stand.”
You tilt your head, “Give it a few years maybe? You’ll forget all about this.”
Nanami’s eyes are full of seriousness, “I may not be attached but it’ll be pretty hard to forget the woman who used her career to get into my pants…” 
Your eyes widen for a second, and then, you burst out laughing, “That’s my flirting tactic, sorry.”
Nanami smiles, “I’ve realized. Speaking of which,” He moves and sits up, “Did the sex give you the information you needed?”
You blink, “Uh…”
“I was supposed to show you how stressed I am,” Nanami recalls, smirking a bit, “Did I do that effectively?”
You flash a smile, “Yeah, you did that perfectly. This’ll totally help me get that job.”
He chuckles, “What is the job you’re looking to get again? You said it was something at our school?”
“Oh, it’s just an internship.” You say with a shrug.
“Right,” He nods, “Is this internship what you plan on doing forever or…?”
You laugh a bit. Something about this morning's conversation is making you oddly happier than expected, perhaps it was because you enjoyed discussing your future with someone, “No, of course not. It’s just all I can obtain right now,” You explain.
Nanami raises a brow, “So what’s your career goal?”
“Hmmm… Anything in therapy, I believe.” You explain simply.
He nods, “I could see you in that.”
His words make you smile all too hard, “Really?”
“Yes, of course,” Nanami replies quickly.
You giggle, “I’m glad someone can see me working in my dream field.”
“Mhm,” He hums, nodding a little, “Could’ see you as a sex therapist too.”
Your eyes widen, “A sex therapist? Me?”
“Yes you,” Nanami claims, a gentle scoff slipping past his lips, “I’m sure you’ve had enough experience to help others.”
“Did you just call me a whore again?” You ask, your tone flat.
He panics all over again, “N-No, I-”
You laugh at him, “I’m joking, relax. But it did seem like that was a fancy way to say I sleep around.”
“Well,” Nanami looks off to the side, raising a curious brow, “Do you?”
You grin, shamelessly accepting the truth of what you’ve done over the past few months, “I mean, my answer really depends on what you consider sleeping around.”
The man chuckles at your words, “I’ll take that as you telling me you don’t sleep around but you are very experienced.”
You shrug, “Yeah, something like that.”
“Right so,” Nanami lets out a yawn, bringing his fist up to his mouth for a moment to cover it. Then, he sighs, “Our whole interaction was, what exactly?”
You raise a brow, “Uh, for research purposes of course.”
He laughs a bit before moving to get out the bed, “Research purposes, she says.”
Your gaze follows him as he stretches his arms up over his head and then heads over to his bathroom, “It was for my study, remember?”
Nanami flicks on the bathroom light and then turns back to you, “For your study…” He repeats, clearly not believing you.
“Yup,” You hum with a smile as he then starts to approach you once more.
The man comes to the side of the bed you’re seated on and offers his hand to you, “So you’re telling me we had sex,” You take his hand and he helps you to get out of the bed and stand to your feet, “For your study?” He finishes.
You angle your head up to him and continue to smile innocently, “Yes sir.”
Nanami freezes for a moment, then he swallows, “First off, don’t call me that. Secondly, so you mean to tell me our entire interaction can be classified as… sex for business?”
He helps to walk you over to the bathroom, your hand held in his the entire time as you carefully take step after step. “I can’t call you sir? If you plan on being a CEO one day, you’ll have to get used to that, y’know…”
“It’s different when a woman like you says it,” Nanami claims. Meanwhile, you two make it to the bathroom and you move to lean against the counter as he goes to grab a spare toothbrush for you, “It hits my ears a bit differently.”
You scoff, “It turns you on, doesn’t it?”
Again, Nanami freezes. This time, he then clears his throat and finds a toothbrush, handing you the item afterward, “I didn’t say that…”
“You also didn’t say no,” You point out. “I mean, what’s gonna’ happen when you meet an attractive woman in business who calls you sir all day long?”
He shakes his head and rolls his eyes at you, “That won’t happen.”
You raise a brow, “Are you saying you don’t think there are attractive women in business?”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. What I’m saying is I know how to keep my composure in a work setting so,” He looks at you, “No woman is going to distract me by using that honorific.”
“And what about outside of the workplace?” You ask, tipping your head to the side.
He gazes at you for a moment and then shrugs, turning away, “That’s a bit different.”
“Uhuh, sure it is,” You say with a scoff as you look at the mirror in front of you, taking in your reflection for a second, “Anyways, what was the second thing you said? Did you say we had sex for business?” You ask with a laugh.
Nanami nods, “Yes, sex for business.”
“That’s an interesting phrase to put to it but, y’know what, it works. Sex for business; an act in which one sleeps with someone with the intent of gaining information or possibly status,” You define in a joking manner.
Your words make the blond laugh as he starts putting toothpaste on his toothbrush, “Wonderful way to describe it.”
“I know right?” You chuckle, moving to follow suit.
The two of you then brush your teeth in comfortable silence, the air peaceful between you both. After which, Nanami offers to make you breakfast but you turn him down, quickly reminding him that this was supposed to operate as a one-night stand and you’ve already overstayed your welcome.
To which he agreed, knowing deep down that even if this was a one-night stand and the two of you were to never cross paths again, he’d never forget his time spent with you. Not only because he enjoyed your company but also because, just as he stated, you were the first woman he’d done this with so, the memory would stick.
That, and he truly did like talking to you. You were different than the women he spoke to in his field of study. A woman of psychology who used that information to seduce him; how was he to ever let that information go?
It was a bittersweet moment to take you home. Nanami couldn’t stop his gaze from lingering on your features for a moment longer than intended and any words you uttered to him stuck in his mind so strongly.
Especially the final short conversation you had with him. By that point, you were in his vehicle and already at your apartment when you had wished Nanami the best. Perhaps it was you reflecting what you wished you had onto him but you truly hoped that he’d find a woman deserving of him.
And if not that, then he’d end up with someone who didn’t have as nearly as much drama in their life as you did.
To which he responded with, “I appreciate that but, if I care about a woman enough, trust me when I say, no amount of drama will keep me from pursuing her.”
You laughed at that, “Yeah? Well, what if she was a whore?”
Nanami stared dead into your eyes and didn’t hesitate to respond to that, “If I care enough, perhaps I’d capitalize off that.”
“Capitalize off of the woman you like being a whore?” You ask curiously.
He shrugs, “That could help in business.”
Your brows knit together, “How so?”
“Women have the ability to climb their way up in corporate situations by sometimes sleeping their way up,” Nanami explains, “So if I found a woman that just so happened to be a whore and I truly cared for her, well…” He shrugs, “I guess what I’m trying to say is; her being a whore wouldn’t matter.”
“Hah.” You hum, “Interesting.”
“Yeah, but,” Nanami shrugs, “The chances of me finding a seductress in business is zero to none.”
“And why is that?” You ask, raising a brow.
He chuckles, “I’ll have risen to the top by the time I find one so, what good would she do me?”
You begin to move to exit the car, “I mean, you never know…”
He blinks, “Never know what?”
“She could threaten your position,” Was the last thing you said regarding that topic to him.
Nanami hadn’t considered that. So, something about that final conversation really stuck with him. Never would he forget the woman that you are.
“I guess we’ll see,” He hums to you.
You nod, “Mhm, maybe I’ll hear about it in the news as some big business-ey scandal,” You say teasingly.
Nanami shakes his head, rolling his eyes at your words, “Yeah right. Go on upstairs now.”
You laugh, “Bye Kento.”
He meets your eyes one last time, “Bye darling.”
With your heart fluttering at the nickname, you finally exit the car and shut the door behind you, giving the man one last wave before heading upstairs to your apartment. 
Unlike everyone else on the list, for some reason, Nanami just felt like one of the best interactions. From beginning to end, he gave you peace. Again, somewhere deep down inside you wished for a reality in which you could have prolonged the amount of time spent with him.
But even so, it was time to go back to your current reality-- the one in which you had a decision to make…
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ 
You decided to spend that weekend coming to peace with what it is you were going to do. You could question Gojo about the list but somewhere deep down inside, it was as though you didn’t want to know the truth.
The thought of Gojo being an asshole all along really does bother you. It brings a sting to your heart. Especially since you’d already settled on forgiving him, to undo all you’ve been through with the man by interrogating him all over again just seems like you’re running in a circle, a path of drama with no end.
And that’s the very thing you no longer have the energy to do anymore. With the list complete, you want to experience what you wished you had for the past few months-- freedom.
No more of the blackmail. Finally would you be able to do things on your own without the restrictions of having a man you’d need to seduce.
So, after the weekend, you decided to text Gojo. You told yourself you weren’t going to ask him anything but who knows how that would actually play out? Either way, when you texted Gojo, you told him you had a surprise for him, that surprise being the completion of the list.
Using the excuse of a surprise was the only reason you were able to see him. After all, Gojo was very firm on no contact during your break from him. But of course, when you text him saying you need to see him and there’s a surprise, he agrees to such an event with no hesitation.
Leading to now, a moment that mirrors months ago as you stand at his apartment door, knocking against the wood and awaiting someone to open the door for you. It takes about a minute but the door is soon opened for you and you’re met with the sight of Gojo Satoru.
Fresh out of the shower, shirtless, water dripping and sliding down his body from his wet head of hair, and beautiful love-struck gaze lighting up at the sight of you-- Gojo stands there with a hand on the door, welcoming you in.
He couldn’t even get a greeting out before you entered his apartment and threw your arms around him. Gojo’s breath hitches like always and he could feel his heart skipping a beat in reaction to feeling your warmth against him.
Then, as he hugged you back and kicked the apartment door shut, you shifted your head to meet his eyes, “Hi Satoru,” You greeted.
His entire world, past, present, and future, he found in you within that moment. That sweet voice of yours, uttering his name after so long, such a honeyed tone leaving the beauty that is your lips, along with those eyes of yours that just gazed up at him so naturally.
Gojo found no anger, no regret, and no unhappiness in your eyes for once. Typically, when you looked at him, you always had one of those emotions reflected in your irises but as you stood wrapped in his arms now, you finally looked at peace.
The white-haired man couldn’t help the big gushing smile that spreads across his face, his heart just throbbing in his chest-- holy fuck he was so stupidly in love with you. Just a hug and a call of his name and he was already struggling to breathe or think properly.
Gojo tips his head to the side and you experience butterflies with how much love drips from his words to you, “Hi sweetheart,” He says so very simply, his hands shifting to hold your waist, “Miss me?”
For a moment, you just forget all that he’s done to you. Which is exactly why you couldn’t stand seeing him. Always would his touches, his looks, and his voice make you blind to everything he’s done.
You nod, “A little bit,” The way your voice grazes his ears makes him want to kiss you more than anything. If perfection were a person, in Gojo’s love-blinded mind, it would be you.
“Yeah?” Gojo’s smile widens, “Never’ thought I’d see the day…”
“Me neither but,” You shrug, “You’re the only person who gets on my nerves juust right.”
Your hands slide down from around his neck and you settle them on his arms. His body was moist from his recent shower but you didn’t care, his skin was soft and he smelled so good.
Gojo bit his lower lip for a second, “Am I?”
“That’s not a good thing, Satoru.” You tell him with a scoff.
The feeling of his fingers tracing small circles into your waist as if the motion comforts him was hard to ignore. His touch was so light but you couldn’t help but notice it. “I think that makes me special,” Gojo says with a little shrug.
You roll your eyes, “Yeah, my special pain in the ass.” You huff out.
His eyes won’t leave your face for even a moment as he tilts his head again, “Your special pain in the ass?”
You freeze, having not realized what you said, and steadily drag your gaze back to him, “I just meant like…” For just a second, you lose your words as you make eye contact with him.
Maybe it was because you’d seen Gojo under a negative light for so long but damn were those ocean-blue eyes of his one of the most beautiful sights. You nearly got lost in said sight as you looked at him.
“Like what, love?” Gojo whispered, “I mean, you didn’t say anything wrong. I am your special pain in the ass.”
You chuckle lightly, still dazed by the eye contact, “That’s not true, you’re a pain in the ass to a lot of people.”
He smiles, “That’s not true, people just don’t like me…”
“Maybe because you’re a pain in the ass?” You point out.
“Nah, I think I’m pretty great,” Gojo jokes with a shrug.
“You’re an idiot,” You hum.
His sights dip down to your lips, the urge strong. “I already corrected you on this before, I’m your idiot.”
“That’s so cheesy,” You comment, shaking your head but smiling.
Gojo sighs out your name and you swear your heart just leaps over three beats as he grips onto your waist and pulls your body closer to his.
Batting your eyelashes at him and the sudden seriousness in his gaze, you smile sheepishly, “Hm?”
“I love you so much,” Gojo claims. The words roll off his tongue far too easily and hold way too much affection for you to ever doubt such a thing. Maybe he does love you but, even so, it’s a twisted way of love.
You’re smiling but you never really know how to respond to that, “Do you?”
“I do,” He says quickly, “I swear to you I do.”
Your hands go to his face suddenly and you cup his cheeks in your palm, feeling gentle drops of water flick down onto your skin from his wet hair, “I wish I could believe you,” You whisper to the man.
He frowns a little, “I’m sorry I haven’t expressed it enough-”
“No that’s the thing,” Your voice is so calm and gentle that he just shuts up when you open your mouth, feeling like he’s hanging off the edge of each syllable that leaves your throat, “You express it through words but how can I believe you love me when you don’t express it through actions, Satoru?”
“I…” Gojo trails off. He knows that with him the conversation will always end up going in this direction so, he’s not surprised by you asking such questions.
“Did you blackmail me because you love me?” You murmur, “Or, do you love me because you blackmailed me? Help me understand why your words don’t align with your actions.”
Your sudden question had him at a loss for words. What is he supposed to say to that? How does he explain himself to you without revealing the god-forsaken truth of it all?
Gojo swallows hard, “You know I can’t answer that, sweetheart.”
A soft smile graces your face and you nod, “Of course you can’t…”
“I wish I could,” He whispers.
“Stop wishing, Satoru,” God every time you say his name he swears he stops breathing, “It’s over now so you can tell me.”
The man blinks, “What do you mean it’s over? What’s over?”
“The list,” You whisper, “I finished it.”
Those pretty white eyelashes of his bat in disbelief, “Y-You, what?”
“Friday night, I went to that nightclub, met Nanami, did my thing, and then slept with him,” You explain casually as if you didn’t just drop the fact that you finished the list.
Gojo doesn’t know what to say for a second. He’s just staring at you in disbelief. Then, just when you think he may get upset that you finished the list, the most relieved expression takes over his handsome features. Gojo Satoru appears as though he’s more at peace about it than you.
“You… You did it,” He whispers out in shock, “W-Was this your surprise?”
You nod, grinning a bit, “Mhm, I would’ve texted or called but uh…” You glance off to the side, “I kinda… sorta… I w-wanted to see you,” You stumble out.
Gojo’s eyebrows raise and then he brings his hands up over your own, turning his head to the side a bit so that he can kiss your palm, “So you really did miss me?”
For some reason, you get embarrassed by that fact and heat rushes to your face, “N-No…”
Gojo chuckles, “It’s okay to miss me, sweetheart.” He tells you, smiling against your skin before pressing another kiss into you, “It’s not a crime, love.”
You bring your eyes to his actions, finding it adorable the way his face is mushed in your hands and how he peppers your palm with small pecks, “We both know it should be.”
“A crime for us to feel things for each other?” Gojo asks.
“You love me and I should hate you,” You explain, “The feelings we have for each other are forbidden.”
He scoffs and the look in his eyes is stern, “Ask me if I care about it being forbidden?”
“You should,” You hum, “Satoru, you blackmailed me into clearing your debt,” That he doesn’t even have, but you don’t add that bit on just yet.
“Well,” Gojo sighs heavily and then draws your hands off his face, leaning down to you a bit, “Sometimes, sacrifices need to be made in exchange for one’s happiness.”
“Are you telling me that all this was for the greater good?” You quiz as you raise a curious brow.
“Something like that, yeah,” He shrugs.
Of course, none of that makes sense to you but you don’t have it in you to argue. Gojo then looks down at your neck, his gift to you still sitting there prettily. He wonders for a moment if you ever take it off.
“Satoru,” You call, breaking him from his thoughts, “Since it’s all over… Can you uh-,”
“No,” He cuts off, “I already told you, I can’t and I won’t tell you everything until years later if you still even care by then.”
You groan a little, “I want to understand it though. How am I to just move on from this without ever knowing why it was done to begin with-”
“I told you why,” Gojo interrupts yet again. There goes that wall of his he puts up, but after learning that his debt with Nanami was a lie, you’re unsure if he’s serious or not when he says, “I was bored.”
You scoff, “All this, just because you were bored? You tormented me, a woman you claim to love, out of boredom?”
He swallows, hard, “Yeah.”
He’s lying. It’s so obvious that he is but even so, his words sting you nonetheless. If you ask him what you really want to and tell him what Nanami told you, you’ll probably get the truth but, that’s exactly what you’re afraid of.
Shaking your head at him, you sigh, “You are many things Gojo Satoru,” You whisper as you bring a hand to his face once more, caressing his skin and watching how he struggles not to melt to your touch, “A good liar is not one of them. A decent actor, maybe. But,” Your brows push together, “How long will you pretend to be a bad person when I know that’s not what you are?”
Gojo doesn’t know what to do with himself when you see right through him like this. So, instead, he chuckles, “Until it’s safe to tell you the truth.”
“Where’s the danger in the truth?” You ask carefully, searching his eyes for the honesty, “Hm?”
He doesn’t answer your question. Instead, he goes a different direction with his response.
“The person I am around you now,” Gojo’s words leave his lips slowly, as if he’s carefully piecing them together, “Is not the person who fell in love with you. A-And, that person, that version of me… he… he’s done some pretty fucked up shit. Sure, the list and the blackmail are bad but…” He looks away, “I’ve done worse.”
You blink, “I-”
“For you,” Gojo adds on, “I’ve done worse, for you.”
That claim holds so much weight to it. Hell, it leads you to quick assumptions that scare you to think about, “Satoru…”
“Yes, love?” He responds, his eyes on yours calmly.
“Did you…” You swallow, “Did you hurt someone by any chance?”
Gojo doesn’t reply.
You blink, trying to calm the chill his lack of response gives you, “You can tell me, y’know.”
“I can’t actually,” He corrects.
“Satoru, are you like, some kinda crazy obsessive yandere?” You say jokingly, laughing at your own question and trying to lighten the sudden tension.
He doesn’t laugh though, which is genuinely scary. “I’m not crazy,” Gojo utters, his voice low and dark, “And yandere is a bit of a stretch.”
“So…” Your hand steadily leaves his face and the soft touches between the two of you are severed, “What about obsessive?”
Gojo glances to the side for a moment, “Define obsessive to me.”
“Well, obsessive is the nature of an obsession and an obsession is the filling of the mind of someone continuously and intrusively, so much so that it becomes troubling,” You define flawlessly, “If I’m interpreting this correctly… Satoru are you saying you’re obsessed with me?”
“If that’s the definition then,” His gaze drags over to your face and swirled in with his look of pure love is in fact this darkened shade of an obsession, “Yes, yes I am obsessed with you.”
You nod, not exactly wrapping your head around the gravity of his claims, “Right… And if that’s the case, is this obsession of yours what led you to hurt someone?”
“I never said I hurt anyone.” He murmurs. His voice is chillingly calm.
Your nerves are rising and goosebumps are decorating your skin unknowingly, “You never said you didn’t.”
“Why’re you asking me all these questions anyway?” Gojo asks suddenly, chuckling a bit as he tries to redirect the conversation, “Shouldn’t you be out with Choso right now confessing your love to him-”
“Don’t change the subject, Satoru.” You say, your voice firm and this slight shake heard through your words, “You just told me you’re fucking obsessed with me like some kinda’ stalker and implied that you’ve hurt someone because of it.”
Oh? You were… upset? Gojo has this weird feeling in his chest as he realizes that. His true red flags were becoming more and more transparent as the seconds passed but never does he show the white one hidden behind him.
“I mean,” He shrugs, as if it was no big deal, “What do you want me to say?”
Your face twists up in aggravation, “How about the truth?”
“Can’t do that, sweetheart. I feel like a broken record repeating that to you-”
“So am I supposed to just take all the info you just gave me and be happy with that?”
“Yes, actually,” Gojo shrugs, “Yes, you are.”
And just like that, you’re set off nicely, “Right so now I know that not only are you a blackmailer, you also have a  screw loose which is why you blackmailed me in the first place because apparently, you don’t know the difference between love and a sick obsession.”
He laughs a bit, clearly not taking your emotions seriously, “That’s not-”
“And so, with this obsession of yours, you became so ridiculously infatuated with me and that’s what led to the creation of that list, right? Because you didn’t know how to talk to me like a sane human being, you took your obsession and used that to bring me down this dark path with you.”
“Sweetheart, I-”
“Now I’m in a position where I don’t know what to believe about you or who you are and I have to go the rest of my life not only not knowing the truth but also lying to Choso about this whole thing because there is absolutely no way he’ll still want to be with me if he finds out he was only ever a name on some list to check off.”
He just falls quiet, staring at your poor confused eyes. He really has taken you through a whirlwind of emotions, hasn’t he? It’s unfortunate that it had to be you in this position but, he knows he had no other choice.
“I mean,” Gojo’s voice is small now, “What did you think I meant when I said I'm sorry for loving you and that that’s what caused all this-”
“No, don’t give me that bullshit,” You spit out, “Love isn’t what caused this. You caused this, Satoru.”
“I…”
“You and this weird…” You take a step back from him suddenly, “Obsession.” The way you say that word lets him know you’re almost repulsed by hearing such a thing.
He sighs, “Sweets, listen-”
“Don’t.” You cut off, “Don’t call me that. D-Don’t call me anything.”
“Are you…” Gojo’s eyes narrow and he studies both your body language and your expression, “Does that information scare you?”
“What?” You scoff.
“Me being obsessed with you.” He clarifies.
Does he even hear himself right now? “You sound like a madman,” You say. Then, you take a deep breath and just shake all your thoughts away, “But, y’know what,” You throw your hands up in a shrug, “I’ll just pretend I never heard this.”
“I-”
“No, save it. I’ll just pretend I don’t know you’re absolutely fucking crazy a-and I’ll just uh, go confess my love to Choso,” You claim, nervously laughing at the whole thing.
Gojo’s confession to him being obsessed with you had driven you just about as crazy as him at this point. Any further with this conversation and you might actually lose your mind.
“So you do love him?” Gojo asks.
You simply shrug and scoff, turning to the nearby door, “I don’t know.”
Gojo moves and grabs a careful hold of your arm but it… it scares you. Genuine fear coursed through your veins and when you looked up at the white-haired man, for the first time ever, you were genuinely terrified.
“S-Satoru…” You whisper, voice trembling.
The man’s hold on you doesn’t let up and he steps closer to you, “Sweetheart, you know I’d never hurt you, right?”
God, he is really worrying you right now. “U-Uhm, yeah I think I know that b-but,” You glance down at his hand on your arm, “Can you let me go?”
Gojo does the opposite and pulls you closer to him, “Why are you looking at me like that?” He questions, his voice softening.
He must not have realized how intimidating he seemed right now. Perhaps you truly didn’t ever realize just how deep his love for you goes. “Like what?” You squeak out.
He tilts his head, “Like you’re… like you’re afraid of me.”
“Satoru,” Your voice is still shaky but you’re trying to keep yourself together, “An obsession like the one you have with me, i-it isn’t healthy.”
“Why not?” Gojo asks so innocently. He really didn’t understand the danger behind his own emotions.
“Because…” You stare back and forth between his left and right eyes, trying to calm yourself from being scared. It’s just Gojo, right? “Because, that, Satoru, that’s a crime.”
“To be obsessed with you is a crime?” He questions, innocence and ignorance reflected in his gaze.
You give him a little comforting smile, something about the situation is still unsettling but because it’s Gojo, it’s easier for you to just ignore the chill creeping up along your spine, “Just as loving me isn’t a crime, being obsessed with me is.”
Gojo blinks, “How?”
Your voice is so gentle with him that he honestly felt like a patient of therapy for a moment, “Because look at what it’s led to.”
He nods understandingly. Only you could ever be able to effectively explain the wrongs behind his emotions, “I see… But, I can’t just… stop this feeling.”
“I understand that,” You say, nodding a bit, “B-But, try uhm… try to control it, yeah?”
“Is that what you want me to do?” He asks.
Your brows furrow, “Satoru this isn’t for me, it’s for you.”
Gojo didn’t understand the concept behind that sentence. To him, he’s nothing more than a slave to you and whatever emotions you feel for him. From the moment you came to see him today, he felt his false persona chipping away up until he revealed to you his true feelings.
Gojo Satoru’s love for you did, in fact, run deeper than imagined. That’s part of the truth behind the situation and what he’s put you through but, he still can’t tell you everything. So, for now, you knowing this dark secret of his will have to do.
“Okay,” He hums.
You swallow and look down at his hand still on you, “Can uh… Can I go now?”
Gojo mimics you and looks down at his grasp. When had it grown so tight? Steadily, he loosens his grip on you and releases a sigh, he doesn’t even know what exactly came over him for a second, “Y-Yeah, sorry.”
You shrug, “It’s okay. Um, if or when I figure things out with Choso,” You look up at Gojo one last time, “I’ll let you know?”
“You’re not obligated to,” He hums.
You snicker, “I mean, you and I still have a journal to burn together so… We’ll have to see each other again regardless.”
Gojo raises a skeptical brow at you, “Why didn’t you bring it today?”
You freeze, “W-Well uhh…”
“You wanted an excuse to see me more than once, didn’t you?”
With a sheepish giggle, you nod, “Yeah, maybe.”
The man shakes his head and then his hands suddenly move to grab your face and pull you toward him again, “Sweetheart you can’t just say things like that and expect me not to lose my mind.”
You laugh at his dramatics, turning a blind eye to the major red flag he’s presenting through his obsession, “But it’s true, I could’ve brought it today but, I dunno’ I feel like the journal can be burned any day. It doesn’t have to be today.”
“Right…” Gojo hums.
You meet his eyes and he meets yours. Your faces are close to one another and it’s so obvious what he wants to do. “Satoru…” You whisper.
“Yes?” He replies.
“I know you wanna’ kiss me,” You tease.
“I do,” Gojo whines, he’s so desperate all of a sudden, “I really really want to.”
One more can’t hurt, right? A kiss to say bye, perhaps?
“Ask for it,” You whisper.
Gojo’s eyes lower, “Can I kiss you, my love?”
Yeah, in what world could you say no to that? You’re nodding before you even realize it, both of your eyes shutting gently as Gojo leans in and presses his lips to yours. As usual, a kiss from him is enough for you to blind yourself.
Who cares that he’s obsessed with you? How bad can that really be? Who cares that he blackmailed you, it’s over now, right? Everything’s going to be fine so who cares about any of that stuff anymore?
Gojo’s lips are soft, like always, against your own and his tongue is slow and tender to move into your mouth. He’s holding your face in his hands with zero intentions of letting you go and you simply melt into the loving feeling of his kisses.
If there’s one thing about this man you’ll never be able to get over…
It’s his kisses.
He can be obsessed with you, that’s fine.
You’re obsessed with the way he kisses you so, maybe… just maybe, Gojo was right that one night…
Maybe you and him are the same-- two broken people trying to figure out what to do with themselves and the emotions they experience.
In the end, what could go wrong?
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GOJO SATORU ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮
GETO SUGURU ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮
TOJI FUSHIGURO ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙈𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙪𝙢
KAMO CHOSO ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙈𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙪𝙢 / 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮
ZEN'IN NAOYA ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙭𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮
ITADORI SUKUNA ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮???
NANAMI KENTO ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙃𝙖𝙧𝙙
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tags;
@blognicole @suguruologist @luqueam @ivoryviness @sinaxalui @rxnnie18 @carlacujo @gods-landing @bitchysouljellyfish @miles4hour @sinaxalui @annananamin @heart-snow @kiyomizzx @hanuh @acehyacinth @mccookiemonster @tojis-ball-sack @cartwheel6869 @mariluvsusstuff @addie1010 @slammynics @actualz0mbie @hisbitchhh @kay-xle @cunttee3 @voids-universe @raininglovelyfire @itsbokutosjuicyass @peaceoutbritta @barbielani @gennaray @r3inae @kfmcykdy @camiihutt @tokina @curtin81937 @hopefullydecent @nameless-shade @ureuphoriasworld @forgetfulmachine @legbouk @lilliaannn @clementineee0-0 @divinelseraph @didibxx
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hyunniesgirl · 9 months ago
Text
Stupid in love
Pairing: Seo Changbin x reader
Genre: angst, fluff
Summary: less than a month into the wedding, you get into a big fight with Changbin. When you think he's going to call it quits, he makes sure to show you that you're very much wrong.
Requested: yes
Warnings: a bit suggestive
All my works are for +18 audiences, minors do NOT interact!!
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You park in front of your house, the lights are on, your fiance is home. He's home and he stood you up. You're mad but mostly you're sad, you're overwhelmed and so tired, exhausted, actually.
You enter the house, hearing sounds in the kitchen, you don't even want to look at him right now. You want to yell at him, argue but you don't even have the energy to do that, so you just take your shoes off, leaving your coat hanging by the door and walking silently to the stairs so you can go to your room, wash up and just sleep until morning comes and you can pretend this day never happened.
“You're home?” You hear Changbin's voice as soon as you go up the first step to the second floor.
“Yes”, you say, continuing to go up.
You hear his footsteps coming after you, but you don't stop, you want to close the door right on his face.
“I ordered food”, he says again, confused as to why you didn't kiss him when you arrived or why you're not looking at him.
“I'm not hungry”, you say simply, stopping in front of the mirror to take your jewelry off. You give up on the idea of closing the door on his face, you don't want to hurt him even though you're furious. You take off your earrings, watching him through the reflection of the mirror. He's looking at you with a frown on his face, trying to figure out why you're angry, he's sure he didn't do anything this time.
“Are you mad?” He asks, naively.
“What do you think?” You ask back, glaring at his reflection.
“I think you are”, he pouts.
“Then you already have your answer”, you say, finishing taking the bracelets and rings off your fingers.
You turn around, walking past him and going to the bathroom to wash up, hearing his footsteps after you again. You sigh, why won't he leave you alone?
“I'm not sure what I did wrong this time”, Changbin clarifies, trying to make you tell him what's wrong.
You laugh, looking to the ceiling and trying to calm down. Turning to look at him and leaning on the bathroom counter, looking at your fiance with your arms crossed in front of your chest.
“I really don't know if I should feel less angry that you genuinely forgot about our cake tasting today and not just chose to ignore what I've been planning for months”, you say through gritted teeth, watching the panic form on the face of the man in front of you.
“I-it was today?” He stutters, patting his pants to find his phone and check on his agenda just to find the event he had scheduled on his calendar to be exactly today. “I didn't mean it”, he says, running his hand through his hair. “I had so many meetings today, I just got home”, he explains.
“I guess your work will always be your top priority”, you scoff, feeling tears starting to brim on your eyes.
“Don't be like that”, Changbin sighs, “you know you are my top priority but I'm not just an employee, I'm the CEO”, he pleads, you know that and you're so tired of that.
“I'm well aware of your position in the company”, you laugh, rolling your eyes. “That’s why I never say anything when you come home late or when I'm all ready for a date and you have to reschedule it because something came up”, you sigh, “I only asked this one thing of you: that you show up when we have something related to the wedding but you couldn't even do that for me”, you cry out, feeling the tears running out of your eyes.
“You're talking like I did this on purpose”, he murmurs, hurt showing in his eyes.
“I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty”, you run your hands through your hair, “you don't know how humiliating it was to wait for you there for three hours, Ryujin and my mom told me to reschedule but I told them that you were going to show up”, you take a deep breath, “jokes on me, I guess I'm the only one who cares about this fucking wedding”
“You're not the only one who cares”. He says with his voice a pitch higher, it happens when he gets nervous. “I'm trying to clean my schedule so we can go on our honeymoon without me having to worry about work. I have so many meetings every day and I have to pass all the work to my secretary so nothing goes wrong while I'm away”
“Maybe we shouldn't be doing this”, you whisper, putting your hands on your sides and squeezing the fabric of your shirt.
“Are you being for real?” He asks, incredulous, anger and resentment flooding his mind.
You regretted saying it the moment the sentence left your mouth, but unfortunately you can't unsay something, all the more something so hurtful as that.
“I-” you step closer to him, but Changbin steps back, shaking his head.
“I need to think”, he turns to the door, walking away and leaving you behind.
You're such an idiot, how could you say that to him? It doesn't matter how angry you are, there's no excuse to hurt someone you love like that. You feel the tears falling down your eyes while your knees give in and you fall on the floor, crying your eyes out. Did you ruin everything? Is he going to call off the wedding? Is he sick of you now?
Hours go by, you walk back and forth in the house, waiting for his car to park in front of the house but it doesn't come, he doesn't show up. Did he leave you? You should expect that much after what you said.
You lie down on your bed, hugging his pillow, feeling his scent and crying until the exhaustion from the day makes you fall asleep.
You're awake with rustling in the room, you open your eyes widely, seeing Changbin packing. Oh, he's leaving you already? Without even trying to talk?
You feel your tears showing up again and a sob escapes your lips, being followed by more sobs and wailing, making the man turn around to look at you scared.
“Hey, what's wrong?” He runs to you, jumping on the bed by your side and hugging your body, squeezing your cheek on his chest while he caresses your hair. “Did you have a nightmare?” He asks, worried and you shake your head.
“You shouldn't be nice if you're going to dump me”, you cry more, sobbing in his arms.
“Excuse me?” He holds you by the shoulders, pushing you away so he can look at your red and puffy face. “What are you talking about?”
“You're packing because you're calling off the wedding, right?” You point to the bags, “you hate me now, I know you do”, you cry more, burying your face on his chest, soaking his shirt with your tears.
“Bunny, look at me”, he repeats his action from before, pushing you so he can look at your eyes. “Why would I leave my beautiful and kind fiance?” He asks, smiling gently at you.
“Because I was mean, I didn't really mean that we shouldn't get married, I really want to marry you”, you start mumbling, making him chuckle.
“That's great, because I still really want to marry you too”, he clarifies, coming closer and kissing your forehead. “I was packing because I'll be kidnapping you today”, he smirks, watching your eyes glow with expectation.
“Where are we going?” You ask him but he shakes his head.
“It's not a kidnapping if you know where I'm taking you”, he looks at the watch on his wrist, “you have exactly ten minutes to get ready, if I come back here and you're not done I'll take you with me anyway”, he informs you.
“Binnie!”, you pout, “I can't even take a shower in ten minutes”
“Too bad for you then, you better get to work. Tik tok”, he jokes, making you huff, jumping from the bed and running to the bathroom.
You take the quickest shower you have ever took, hurrying to the bathroom counter to brush your teeth with one hand while brushing your hair with the other, thinking about what you're going to wear. You're sure this is his revenge, he's torturing you because you were mean to him.
You figure you still have two minutes before he shows up, so you put on jeans and a long sleeve shirt.
“Times up”, Changbin's head pops on the door, a smug smile on his lips.
“I didn't even put any makeup on”, you plead, looking at the things you need right in front of you.
“Nope, don't even think about it”, he walks up to you, chuckling when you pout. You're ready to fight him on that, when he grabs you by the hips, throwing you on his shoulder.
“Binnie! What are you doing?” You kick and wiggle trying to make him release you.
“It's not a kidnapping if you go with me willingly”, he points out, making you laugh, he's unbelievable. This man is insane.
“I can't believe you”, you sigh when he drops you on the passenger's seat of his car, fastening your seatbelt. You watch as he walks around the front of the car and gets in the car. While you watch him turning on the engine and starting to drive, you wanna cry again. You just love him too much.
“I'm sorry about yesterday”, you bite on your bottom lip, “I was really exhausted and angry but that's not an excuse to say those things to you”
Changbin nods, stopping at a red light and looking at you.
“Let's just say we are even now”, he grins, grabbing your hand and giving you a quick peck on the lips.
When you arrive at the airport, he tells you to cover your eyes the whole time until you get into the plane, making sure you have no idea where you're going. When you finally see Jeju island through the plane's window, you look at him excitedly, just to find the man taking a nap. He must have stayed awake all night long, making this trip happen. You watch as his chest rises and falls, slowly, his dark hair covering his eyes.
You really don't know what you would do if he really had called the wedding off, maybe you would have begged but something you're sure is that you wouldn't be able to let him go.
As soon as the plane lands, you wake him up, shaking him a bit. His eyes flutter open and he smiles at you, brushing his fingers on his eyes to help him wake up.
“Shall we?” He offers his hand to you, seeing you nod and take his hand. Changbin stands up, pulling you with him, walking behind the people getting out of the plane.
You feel like the sun shines brighter in Jeju, the weather is warm and nice, like the perfect day for a trip. After renting a car, you two drive to the hotel, Changbin has everything ready with a suite already reserved for you.
You're a bit tired, after barely sleeping at night you are a bit sleepy but you won't go to sleep, you want to enjoy every minute you can with your man.
“I'm going to take a shower and later we can go to the beach”, you tell him, stepping closer to wrap your arms around his waist and to give him a peck on the lips.
“Should I let you, though?” He wraps his arms around you, “maybe I should keep you stuck in bed with me, paying for being so mean to me”, he smirks.
“You know damn well that that wouldn't be a punishment”, you step away, pushing him a bit.
“But I deserve compensation”, Changbin points out. “Don't I?” He grins, making you sigh.
You throw your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Enough for you to be able to touch his lips with yours, feeling his hot breath mixing with yours, his scent is just intoxicating you feel like you can go insane at any moment.
He wraps his arms around your waist, pressing you against him, seizing the opportunity and pushing you against the wall. You sigh when he pulls away from you, landing kisses down your jaw and neck, sucking on your soft skin.
“Stop right there mister”, you come to your senses, pushing him away, making him whine. “Did you bring me here just to have sex?” You squeeze your eyes, judging him.
“No, I just can't resist you”, he pouts, giving in. “You can take your shower, I'll wait”
He gives you a quick kiss and turns around, walking to the bed and sitting on the edge, sighing dramatically.
You try to walk normally, but your legs are about to give in. Changbin mustn't know the power he has over you, you'll be done for if he ever finds out.
You two walk by the beach, watching the sunset. He holds your hand with both of his, caressing yours dearly while watching you.
“You know, I love you”, he says out of nowhere, making you turn to look at him. You blush, as if you have never heard that before.
“I love you too”, you answer.
“I don't think you understand the depth of my love for you, though”, he clarifies. “The fact that you thought I was going to call everything off because of a fight shows that you're not aware of the hold you have on me”, the man steps closer, lifting one of his hands to your face and caressing your cheek. “Y/N, I love you when you're kinda, I love you when you're smart and I love you when you're funny, but I also love you when you're angry, I love you when you are upset and I love you when you're sad. I love you every hour, every minute and every second of the day and unless you dump me, I won't let you go so easily.” He smiles, chuckling to your eyes brimming with tears, you're such a cry baby.
“I'm not a lyricist like you, so I'm not as good with expressing myself”, you tell him, wiping your eyes, “but I love you so much, you have no idea how much I do. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I promise I'll prove my love to you everyday”, you smile, giving him a quick kiss. “I don't want to wait three weeks to be your wife”
“Then, let's not wait”, Changbin suggests, kissing the back of your hand. He chuckles seeing the confusion on your face. “Let's get married today, no guests, no fancy party, just you and me and probably two strangers to be our witnesses”
“What are you talking about?” You ask, confused but you can't help the smile that grows on your lips.
“Let's register our marriage right now, we can do the big party later as we planned but right now we can do it just you and me, what do you think?” He asks, hopeful. You give him the biggest smile, throwing your arms around his neck and in a second his arms are wrapped around your waist, spinning with you, making you giggle excitedly.
You and Changbin run to the city, buying him a suit and a white sundress for you. Outside of the register office, you find two people nice enough to agree on witnessing your wedding. Your fiance prepared two rings made of flowers that would probably not last more than a day, but the important thing isn't anything like that. The most important thing is the spark in his eyes when he's looking at you, while waiting to sign the papers. The most important thing is how he presses his lips on your knuckles after putting on the flower ring on your finger. The most important thing is that you're husband and wife now. And that you'll never ever let go of each other.
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brain-rot-central · 8 months ago
Text
Up In Smoke
A/N: Basically he smokes weed and has a really good orgasm. That's the whole fic. Very self-indulgent, but whatever. Hope you all enjoy!
Rating: light E Word count: 3.5k Pairing: Spawn Astarion x Fem!Tav Warnings: 18+, dubcon for being under the influence, drug use, alcohol mention, breeding kink, praise kink, male masturbation, mutual pining, trauma mention, intimacy issues
Summary: The gang finally reaches Baldur's Gate. Astarion isn't handling it so well, knowing he's so close to Cazador again. Tav makes an innocent suggestion that he go down to the shops and find something that can help relieve some of his pent up anxiety.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, he leans over to further inspect the small clear jar within his hands. Inside, a dried cluster of pungent flowers resides. Their faint smell lingers about the small tavern suite. He shakes the jar slightly, following how each bud bounces between the glass.
They've finally made it to Baldur's Gate, and gods what a relief. Not to say he didn't enjoy getting his hands messy, but there was never quite enough he could do to dig out the dirt caked within his nails. He dreamed of soaking in a hot bath for weeks.
Yet, being back in Baldur's Gate also means something more sinister.
It means he’s closer to confronting him.
His old master.
Cazador.
He panics the night before, screaming whenever he'd slip into trance. Horrid memories play behind his eyes. He feels paralyzed within them – the feeling of a hand closing around his neck, a dagger slicing into his back, shackles around his arms and legs, unable to move within the confines of the coffin he lay in for a year.
Tav wakes him eventually, holding him close within their warm embrace. She lulls him back to sleep until he slips into a more peaceful trance. When they awake the next morning, Tav proposes he go down to the shops and look for a sleep aid, or something that could potentially help quell the overwhelming sense of anticipation building within him.
“I only wish for you to be at peace,” she suggests. “You deserve it. Especially now.”
So, he does exactly that.
Perusing the various carts and shops, Astarion inevitably finds an apothecary. He's been to this one before; many, many years ago. He doesn't quite remember the shopkeeper, but feels as if it's the same woman, just now older. 
She's nice enough, giving a warm greeting as he enters the store. The smell of patchouli incense fills his nostrils and almost instantaneously Astarion feels some of the tension melt off his shoulders. 
He explains, in very vague terms, what it is he's experiencing to the shopkeeper. She holds out a glass jar filled with herbs. When he raises a questioning eyebrow, she clarifies, “This is known to help calm even the most fussy of ogres.” She smiles, nudging the jar closer to him. “Go on, take it. You won't regret it.”
With a quick nod of his head, Astarion pays for the herbs and dips out of the shop, stashing the small jar within a pocket of his armor. He reconvenes with Tav and the others; they're to address some sort of problem with a wizard prodigy at Sorcerous Sundries. He sighs audibly as Gale rambles on about the various tomes and wealths of knowledge the store holds. Gale rarely ever lets up when this sort of mood takes him. He briefly wishes he had a scroll of Silence to cast over the wizard.
With the pompous brat slain, the crew returns to the Elfsong Tavern to share a hot meal. Astarion nurses a glass of wine while the others share various plates of grilled meats, vegetables, and fish. Lae’zel offers him the drippings of her steak; he politely declines, though the smell causes his stomach to rumble. He simply chases the sensation away with more wine.
They return to their shared suite within the tavern. The party makes a joint decision that Astarion and Tav share the private room. They aren't the only two having relations, but they are the more… rambunctious couple. Both retire to the bedroom, Tav drawing a bath for herself while Astarion rests on the edge of the bed, as he is now, studying the small glass jar. 
He dares a quick whiff of the herbs, bringing the jar to his face. His face screws up tight, wincing at the offensive odor. “Smells like a godsdamned skunk,” he scoffs. He stares into the jar again.
Fool’s Tongue. 
He’s partaken before at the behest of a client. It was an important brokerage between Cazador and some far-off noble. There wasn’t much choice in the matter for Astarion. But yet, this encounter was a touch better than the others. To this day, Astarion is unsure if it was due to the drug or the man himself. He recalls the comforting embrace of the nobleman with slight fondness. At least the man tried. Not many others did.
Astarion reaches into the small satchel on his hip and pulls out a wooden pipe. He lifted it from Halsin earlier in the evening at dinner. The wood elf becomes soft once drink is involved, making him all the more easy to target. He’ll return it by morning, Astarion promises himself. He may even leave the druid a small token of appreciation for letting him borrow it, should this all work out.
Placing the pipe down onto the comforter, Astarion begins to unlatch his cloak. He lays the jar of herbs down next to the pipe and stands, letting his cape fall to the floor. He works on his armor next, until he’s down to his underthings. Bending down, he begins rummaging through his pack on the floor for his camp clothing. He slips them on, leaving his shirt untucked, and sits back down on the bed.
Astarion picks up the pipe and lays it between pressed-together thighs. It acts as a makeshift support, allowing him to open the glass jar of herbs and retrieve a single nugget. Closing the jar, he places it back down onto the bed, and begins breaking the herbs into smaller pieces to fill Halsin's pipe.
Raising the pipe to his lips, Astarion summons a small flame to the tip of his finger. He stares down the length of the pipe, mustering the resolve to continue. He hears Tav’s voice in his head, as well as that of the old shopkeeper. With a sigh, he brings his finger to the herb, pulling gently on the pipe until it begins to burn.
Smoke fills his lungs a bit too quickly, and he rips the pipe from his mouth. He coughs loudly and a bit dramatically, before finally taking a gasping breath in.
“Astarion!” Tav calls from the washroom. He can hear the sound of water sloshing around in a tub. “Are you okay?”
“I'm fine, darling!” he calls back. “Not to worry,” he adds in a mumble under his breath, mostly to himself. He surveys the contents of the pipe, bringing the mouthpiece to his lips once more. Again he summons a small flame to the herb, inhaling more shallowly this time as to not scorch the back of his throat.
He holds in the hit, leaning back onto the bed. Outstretching his arms he lets the pipe rest gently on the bed as he blows out the smoke. He coughs softly – better than the first time.
A few moments pass without so much as a sound. Astarion begins to wonder if perhaps the herbs are stale. It isn't until he rolls over that he notices the first sign.
The bed is soft. Inviting. Astarion is acutely aware of how the pillow top envelopes his form. He lays flat on his back again, sighing. His eyes slip closed. An unusual warmth rushes over him, tickling his skin. It feels like he's laying in the sun and suddenly he's transported back to the forest. To the morning after.
He remembers waking up to the morning sunlight bathing his skin. He wakes up slowly, slipping back into his leathers. Tav still sleeps; he moves as swiftly as possible to not wake her. She was beautiful, even then. Naive, yes. He didn't have the best of intentions. But, she was beautiful. And infuriatingly pragmatic.
Another sensation begins to light. Astarion doesn't recognize the feeling right away. He opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling, a surge of heat rushing to his face. He swears his chest thumps with the beating of his undead heart. He stares into the lines of the ceiling, tracing the patterns of wood lining the wall. His eyes fall upon a knot; they slip closed again.
Tav straddles his lap while he lays out on the ground. Astarion’s hands hold her thighs, guiding her hips as she rocks back and forth over him. He travels up the expanse of her abdomen, passing over her navel and up to her swaying breasts. Her hair cascades down her shoulders in loose curls, his gaze continuing upward toward her face. Redded by the blush running across the bridge of her nose, her mouth hangs open in a silent gasp. She meets his gaze through heavy lids.
Astarion feels the flitter of a dormant ember ignite within his lower belly. His back arches off the bed as a gasp slips past his lips. This can’t be what he thinks it is… could it? No, certainly not. He’s surely lost the ability to feel this way without necessity. Without a performance. Without it being a bargaining chip of some kind.
A pulling behind his navel has his hips twitching in response and he feels warmth begin to pool between his legs. Gods, is he…
Aroused?
Is this truly unprovoked arousal that he feels? Astarion sees visions of Tav glistening after a bath; droplets of water sliding down tanned, freckled skin. He moans aloud and again his hips buck. His cock is beginning to stir, each rub against the confines of his leathers having him sliding his hands closer and closer to their waistband. He turns his head toward the direction of the washroom.
Astarion groans as his hand runs over the bulge in his pants and it dawns on him momentarily that it is, indeed his cock hardening at the thought of Tav naked. Her skin flushed from the warm water of the bath, hair wet, nipples pert, hips, thighs, cunt-
He's pulling his pants down quicker than he can manage, letting them pool around his ankles on the floor. He hisses as his fingertips brush the swollen length of his arousal, and he dares a quick glance between his legs. His cock has a reddish hue, similar to after he sups of Tav. It pulsates against his lower abdomen and he cautiously wraps a hand around his shaft.
It's not often he performs acts of pleasure upon himself. Usually his mind cages him off – scolds and berates him until he's too ashamed to continue. But with the influence of the Fool’s Tongue swimming within his consciousness, the voice is silent. The only thing Astarion feels is pleasure. Lust. Want. And openly; he openly wants to pleasure himself. And by the Gods, does it feel good.
He pulls up his shirt with the opposite hand to expose more of his abdomen and takes a few experimental jerks of his length. They're soft and slow; unhurried movements as he bathes in the pleasure rushing over his body. His eyes slip closed as he gives himself over to the sensation, hips bucking up each time his thumb passes his frenulum. Behind his closed lids he sees Tav again, kneeling between his legs, ready to take him within her inviting mouth. He moans wantonly as he focuses for a moment on his tip, trying to replicate the feeling of her suckling the head of him.
The door to the washroom opens, jolting Astarion from his thoughts. He makes no effort to cover himself, but instead waits patiently on the bed for Tav to discover the scene awaiting her. She exits the bathroom, running a towel through her hair, seemingly unaware of what has been occurring during her absence.
“I was thinking maybe we could mingle a bit with the others before calling it a night,” Tav suggests. She stands before the room's mirror, running a hand through her dampened locks. “How does that sound, Astar-” The rest of her sentence dies back in her throat as she observes him laying on the bed. “Oh,” is all she manages; a soft, strangled sound rising up from her chest.
He pants as he looks her over; she's wearing a simple, short beige dress. No brassiere, so her breasts fill the top of the dress naturally. It cinches at the waist with two drawstrings, while the rest flares out. The hem of the dress comes to right above her mid thighs, and Astarion swallows the sudden uptake in saliva pooling within his mouth. His cock twitches in his palm. “Y-you suggested I go to the shops,” he tries to explain. “Find something to help ease my trepidation.”
“I guess it was a success.” Tav replies, stepping closer. “I don't think I've ever seen you like this.”
Astarion catches a true blush rising to her cheeks as she studies him. As she stands before him, the scent of her arousal dances below his nose, and he groans. “It was, very,” he answers. “That d-dress is… nice,” he adds.
Tav smiles, stepping before him. “Is it?” she asks in a sultry tone. She grabs the hem of the dress and begins slowly pulling it up her thighs. “What about it do you like?”
Visions of her riding his lap flood his mind's eye. Astarion tosses his head back as he envisions taking her from behind, against the wall, on the floor – animalistic mating rituals between them both; rough, hard, fast. He can't help but suck in a sharp breath as he opens his eyes again to meet Tav’s gaze. He tries to answer her but no sound comes out.
With a smirk, she climbs onto the bed over him, hovering just above his cock. “What about the dress do you like, Astarion?” Tav reiterates. She's sure to leave her hips as far away from his hand as possible; she's aware of his intimacy issues, how delicate this situation is. She leans over him to place chaste kisses over his forehead. She smiles against his skin as he resumes tugging at himself with soft jerks of his hand.
“The convenience,” Astarion replies in a whisper. His desire is mounting, threatening to burn out of control unless release finds him soon. Tav laughs, and briefly drops her hips over the hand pumping his cock. They both moan as his knuckles brush between her slick, sending Astarion's mind reeling. “You're… you're n-not wearing-”
Tav nips gently at the pale elf’s ears, reveling in the instinctive bucking of his hips into her core. “No, I'm not,” she teases. She feels Astarion shudder beneath her and she licks the shell of his ear, moving quickly down to kiss the underside of his jaw. Tav brushes her center over his fingers again, this time deliberately passing over the tip of him.
He swallows thickly as a gasp escapes his parted lips. As hot as the thought of Tav riding his cock makes him, the shackles of his subconscious are threatening to yank his chain. “I can't, not all the way,” he pleads. Ghastly hands are threatening to enclose around the column of his throat. “Just this, please.”
Tav pulls away from him momentarily, her brow knit in concern. She studies his eyes – ruby red gems hooded over in lust. She nods, placing a gentle kiss to his forehead. “Just this, then,” she says reassuringly.
Astarion sighs in relief and continues stroking himself in earnest, knuckles brushing now and again against her sex. He groans as her arousal mingles with his, slickening the palm of his hand to create a luscious glide. “Gods, how I wish I could,” he groans out.
“Could what?” Tav teases. Her breasts are pushing against his chest as it heaves with labored breath. She returns attention back to his ears, licking along its shell to nip gently at the tip.
Astarion's eyes roll to the back of his head as his body convulses in pleasure. “T-take you,” he admits through a shuddered breath. He twists his hand over the head of his cock in a specific rhythm, pulling a guttural groan from the back of his throat. “I think about it often.”
“Do you?” Tav raises a hand to cup the back of his head. She leans over, bringing her mouth close to his ear. “So do I,” she whispers. “It's not fair, you know. Having experienced you prior. Only to be cut off and denied any more.”
“You're one to talk,” he replies. He stares up at Tav, his mouth hanging agape. “D-do you think it's any easier for me? To want so carnally, only to have to deny myself?” He slides a hand up her thigh to hold her waist, guiding her down onto his core. They both sigh at the sensation as he takes the same hand and now threads it through her hair, pushing their foreheads together. “To see how the others look at you, knowing I cannot yet claim you for myself. It's… maddening,” he breathes against her lips.
Tav sighs. “Yet, here I am… in your lap. And not theirs.” She captures his lips in a chaste kiss, though Astarion surges forward. She slackens her jaw to allow him better access; like a man starved he explores the warm cavern of her mouth, tongue intertwining with hers.
He breaks the kiss with a pull of her bottom lip. “I promise that one day I will,” he speaks against her lips. Astarion pumps himself faster, feeling the coil behind his navel wind tighter. “And when I do, you’re not to leave my bed for days.”
Tav pulls her head back, a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. “Days?” she reiterates, feigning innocence. “Do you wish to mate me, Astarion?” 
His back suddenly arches off the bed, a gasp slipping past his lips. His knuckles brush against her sex again. “Yes,” he hisses through clenched teeth. “Fully, properly, lavishly.” He's babbling now. Logic escaping him, replaced by a tempting carpet of depraved carnal lust that threatens to unravel at the seams.
Tav kisses him gently again. “Should I tell you a little secret?” she asks. She doesn't wait for a response before continuing. Sliding her face again to Astarion’s ear, she says quietly, “What if I were to tell you that you already have me?”
He blinks up at her in bewilderment. “H-how would that be?” he stammers. “I've barely done anything. I can hardly touch you without-”
“Because it's you,” Tav explains. “It's you I think of when I'm alone.” She shakes her head. “No one else.”
Astarion rushes forward again, capturing his lips in a desperate kiss. “...The Gods truly made you just to ruin me,” he says, pulling away with a huff. He closes his eyes as he twists his wrist over the swollen tip of his length again, a soft sigh falling from his lips.
“Are you close?” She speaks softly to him, rubbing the pad of her thumb over his cheek. “Would telling you how good you are to me help?”
The coil winds tighter in his lower belly at her praise. He hums, cock twitching in his palm, pre-fluid now gathering at his tip. “A-almost,” Astarion stammers again. “M-my ears, touch them again, please.”
With a giggle, Tav dips her head into the crook of his neck, kissing along his skin leading up to his ear. She rubs at his other with her opposite hand, lavishing delicate attention to each of their tips. “Have I ever told you how handsome you are when you reach your peak, Astarion?” she pants into his ear. “The way your mouth hangs open in a silent gasp, how your eyes roll to the back of your head.” She watches him throw his head back, his hand picking up speed as he strokes himself. Tav dips her head again to his neck, nipping gently at the exposed column of skin.
“I'm going… if you keep, a-ah,” Astarion insists, breathing ragged. His chest is heaving, the influence of the Fool’s Tongue and overwhelming lust threatening to consume him. He's on the edge, right at the precipice, almost there, just a touch more-
Tav drops her hips over him again and he seizes, hips bucking wilding up to meet her. She latches onto his neck and sucks, hard enough that he knows a mark will be present by morning. Suddenly Astarion is falling over the cliff, mouth dropping open in a drawn out groan. His vision blanks, thick ropes of his release paint his lower belly as he jerks himself through the last of his orgasm.
She kisses the tip of his nose as she climbs off, picking her towel up from off the floor. Astarion lay on the bed panting, the room still spinning around him. As he comes to, he opens his eyes to meet Tav, who holds out the towel to him. “Did that feel good?” she asks, curiously.
He nods before replying, “Quite. I've used Fool’s Tongue before, but it was nothing like this.”
“Hmm,” she hums as he takes the towel from her. “Perhaps I should join you, next time?”
He huffs a quick laugh as he wipes the release of his belly, giving Tav a genuine smile. “That would certainly be something.”
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imagine-you · 3 months ago
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all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me [Logan/Reader]
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Summary: Sequel to won't somebody come take me home? and closer to where I started. Now that you've decided to put the past behind you, you're focused solely on what the future holds for you, Logan, and your family. Whether that means teaming up with the X-Men to help stop the escalated attacks around the city or sitting down for a nice dinner with Logan, Laura, and Wade, you're ready for all of it. You're so close to being completely happy until you find yourself a victim of one of the attacks and find out that someone from Logan's universe has managed to return. You never expected your new life to be easy, but you certainly never thought Logan's wife would show up and disrupt everything you had built for yourself. Word Count: 9k Author's Note: This chapter may contain: Angst, Reader Whump, Surprise Cameos, Angst, A New Villain, A Disrupted Villain Origin Story, Training Montages, Angst, A Smidge of Hope, Illusions, and…Angst. (but I swear the angst gets resolved. y'all have to trust me!! there will be a happy ending for this fic.)
When I'm With You I'm Home 'verse
won't somebody come take me home? // closer to where I started
Read on AO3
If anyone had told you while you were stuck in the Void that there was a future where you found yourself in another universe and your greatest wish had come true, then you would have chalked it up to a pipe dream and left it at that. If anyone had told you there was a future where your worst nightmare had come true, well then, that would've been easier to believe.  
"What are you making?" Laura asked, peering over your shoulder to get a look at the stove.  
"Something special," you told her, winking at her when she let out an impatient huff. "Steak and pasta," you clarified, turning your attention back to where you were spooning sauce over the steaks, hoping the flavor carried through for you.  
After getting back from your original universe, you had felt like the weight of the past had been lifted off your shoulders. You didn't give a fuck about your original Logan and as far as you were concerned, he could fuck off into whatever happy existence he wanted with Jean. Did you want them to suffer? Maybe. But it was no longer a requirement for you to heal.  
Your Logan had made sure of that.  
Now, weeks had passed, and you felt like a new person. Gone was the obsession with the past and in its place was now your excitement for the future.  
Your future with Logan and Laura and even Wade. Your future with a new family and a new team. Life hadn’t given you a moment of rest, but you were happy to know that when your back was against the wall, you had people ready to jump in and protect you from whatever hit came your way.  
All of you had spent the last couple of weeks wrapped up in the escalated attacks happening throughout the city. There weren't many indicators about who exactly was causing them. Half the time, there were explosions and other times it was just an outright slaughter.  
Logan and Wade were out trying to help the X-Men clean up the latest catastrophe. You had opted to stay home with Laura, taking a moment of well-deserved rest from running from one tragedy to the next. Logan had left you with a promise to return that evening and a kiss that hinted at more later.  
You thought it was cute how Logan kept insisting he was retired, but the first sign of trouble, and he couldn't help but jump right in. It was why you loved him, because even though he had spent years spiraling after the devastation he faced with his old life, he still couldn't help but try to make things better for others.  
You liked to think you had a little something to do with that.  
Even though you were just within reach from a perfect existence, you knew it still wasn't without its problems. You and Logan still had a lot of work to do. Both of you were still holding things close to the chest, afraid to show them and lose everything you had earned.  
Sometimes, you caught Logan simply watching you, wary and concerned, as if he thought you were about to leave him. Other times, when Logan woke in the middle of the night and reached for you, you wondered if he knew it was you or if he still held onto the memory of his wife, seeking her for comfort. Logan had been open and honest with you, but you sometimes got the feeling that he wasn't telling you everything. Some nights, when you couldn't sleep, you would lie awake and watch him, terrified that if given the chance he would leave you in a heartbeat for his old life.  
You always had the feeling like the other shoe was about to drop, so you had taken on the mentality that you were going to enjoy every day you got with him. Which was why you were hellbent on making the perfect dinner and having the perfect dessert all ready to go when he got back home. 
"Shit," you hissed when you started stirring together the ingredients for the pasta sauce. "I forgot one thing," you groaned, glancing over at Laura. "I've got to go out to grab something. Will you keep an eye on this for me? Just make sure it doesn't burn," you instructed her when Laura gifted you with a skeptical look. 
"What if it burns?" Laura wondered, reaching out to take the spoon from you when you handed it to her.  
"Then we'll order takeout," you answered with a shrug of your shoulders. "It won't be a big deal, but I still want to try to get this right," you told her, reaching out to flick her ear. 
Laura turned a glare on you, and you knew if you were anyone else, she would have already brought out her claws. You saw a fond smile take the place of her scowl before she shook her head. "Hurry," she urged you, turning a wary look at the stove.  
"Ten minutes," you promised, reaching out to grab your keys and wallet. "Just going down to the corner store." You saw Laura open her mouth and you knew what she was going to ask. "Yes, I'll get the cookies," you told her, thinking of the chocolate monstrosities she was so obsessed with lately.  
Laura grinned at you, pleased, and cautiously began to stir the sauce.  
You locked the apartment door behind you. You knew Laura was more than capable of taking care of herself and she had already been through hell and back, but you couldn't help but want to protect her in every way you could. She was still a kid, even if she would point out she was seventeen.  
You made it to the tiny market just around the corner from your apartment within four minutes. You were eager to get back and finish dinner. You couldn't wait to see the look on Logan's face when you had dinner all set up and told him that Laura even helped make it. You knew Wade would invite himself to dinner, so you would of course have extra just for him. You knew you wouldn’t be here without him, and while he drove you crazy, you now couldn’t imagine your life without him in it.  
You were a family, fucked up and weird, but full of love.  
You grabbed the cookies Laura wanted and searched for a can of black olives. You caught sight of the spices and started in that direction to see if there was anything extra you wanted to add to the sauce. You figured you had maybe five minutes to get back before Laura insisted she did everything she could to salvage dinner, but maybe you should just order pizza.  
You were reaching out to grab a bottle of parsley flakes when you noticed something pass right in front of you. You startled at the sight of the playing card, faintly glowing pink, as it sailed towards the shelves in front of you.  
You didn't even have time to prepare before the card landed and the shelves exploded. You brought your arms up, trying to shield your face from the shrapnel. The force of the blast was strong enough to throw you back into the shelves behind you. You felt your head connect with the edge of one the shelves and stars exploded in your vision.  
There was a ringing in your ears and the taste of blood in your mouth. Your head felt like it was spinning as you struggled to open your eyes, not even sure when you had closed them.  
You could hear footsteps approaching you and you managed to squint up at the person standing in front of you. Your gaze drifted from his boots to his trench coat and then up to his eyes. They were glowing a faint red.  
"Remy?" You groaned, reaching up to press a hand to your forehead. You blinked a couple of times, trying to make sense of what was going on. You looked at your fingers and they were stained red, blood coating them. Your face was stinging from the bits of shrapnel you hadn’t been able to shield yourself from and the back of your head was aching in a way you had never felt before.  
Remy crouched down in front of you. He reached out and tucked his fingers under your chin, forcing you to look at him. "Now, I know we've never met before, so how is it you know my name?" He turned your head one way and then the other, considering you for a brief moment, before he made a thoughtful noise. "Oh, but believe me, we're going to get to know each other real well, bon ami. Just you wait." His eyes were no longer glowing, but there was a devious look in them you didn't like.  
You attempted to sit up, but your vision swam and you felt like you were going to throw up. “What the hell are you doing?” You attempted to ask, but your words were slurred, and you were having a hard time concentrating on him even though he was right in front of you.  
"Let's get you home, hm?" Remy said, gathering you up in his arms. He stood, lifting you with him, and you tried to wriggle out of his hold, but he was clutching you tightly enough that you couldn’t move.  
The last thing you saw was the underside Remy's jaw and the blur of the ceiling tiles above you before darkness swept in to collect you.  
You woke to sunlight that had escaped past the curtains in your bedroom and crept right towards you. It was an unwelcome intrusion and you brought your hand up to shield your eyes.  
You groaned, forcing yourself to sit up, before squinting at your surroundings. Your head was aching, each pound of your heart sending a bolt of pain right behind your eyes. You didn’t remember drinking the night before or even crawling into bed, but it felt like the worst hangover you had ever experienced. 
"Fuck," you grumbled before forcing yourself out of bed. Logan seemed to already be up, and you wondered if he had liked your dinner the night before. There was something wrong, something off, but you didn't know what it was yet. You were having trouble thinking past the pain.  
You walked towards your bedroom door, intent on hunting down the bottle of painkillers you kept in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. You tried to think about what happened before you fell asleep and finally your memories came back to you in a dizzying rush.  
Making dinner, leaving Laura in charge, and locking the door behind you. Going to the store, a playing card that ending in an explosion, and Remy promising to take you home.  
"I had the weirdest dream," you muttered as you stumbled out into the living room. The pain in your head spiked with every footstep and your mouth was so dry your tongue felt like it was sticking to the roof of your mouth.  
The first thing you noticed was that Logan was sitting at the kitchen table and the second was that he wasn't alone. You froze just a few feet away from the table trying to make sense of what was in front of you.  
Because Logan was there in his usual seat at the table and he had his hand outstretched over the surface. His hand was clutching the stranger's like a lifeline and he looked as if the person in front of him had just saved him from his own personal torment.  
You slowly rounded the table, a twisting feeling of dread in your gut, as you got a look at the stranger.  
It was you.  
Well, not you. She had a scar crossing one of her eyes and her hair was a different color. She carried herself with more confidence, her shoulders not slumped and head held high. She was wearing the same yellow and blue X-Men suit you first saw your Logan in when you were trapped in the Void.  
But she was still undeniably you. Just a variant you could have been in another universe.  
"What?" You felt helpless as you looked to her and then to Logan. Pain had been overtaken by confusion and now you felt like you were going to pass out for an entirely different reason. "What's going on?" 
"My wife," Logan said, finally tearing his gaze away from her to look at you. "She's back. A portal opened up last night and she walked right through it." His voice was filled with incredulous awe, and it felt like there was a knife digging into your chest. Your breath hitched and you tried to push past the feeling being carved out right where your heart resided.  
You didn't think it could get any worse until you noticed the look of pure love and adoration he gifted her. You had only ever seen that look aimed at you and seeing it given so freely to someone else had you clenching your fists at your sides, anger washing over you.  
"So, what?" You snapped, trying and failing to keep the hurt out of your tone. "She's just going to live here now? We'll all be one big happy family?" You didn't want to fight anyone for Logan's attention. Not again. Not after what happened with Jean in your other universe. You couldn't lose again. You wouldn't.  
Logan stared up at you before he finally looked back at his wife. "We're still married," he pointed out, brushing his thumb gently over the wedding ring on his wife's hand. "And she was my first love," he continued, twisting the knife deeper and deeper. "I'm sorry, but I can't leave her again." 
You watched the couple in front of you, frozen in that moment. Hurt and indecision rose within you and you felt trapped.  
"So, what does that mean for me?" Your voice sounded so small and scared that you almost didn't believe it was yours. You had never felt this way with your Logan before and you didn't know what to do.  
Logan finally tore his gaze away from his wife to look at you again.  
"I'm sorry, but now that I have her back...," he trailed off, letting you assume the rest for yourself. "You can stay until you find somewhere else to go," he offered, as if it was any consolation.  
You let out a hollow little laugh as you took a step away from him. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Logan, after everything you had been through together, was giving you up as if you meant nothing to him. The same ache and loneliness you felt back in your original universe was descending on you again. You thought you had put those feelings behind you, but now you were having to confront them again in the worst way.  
Because this Logan had loved you like the other one never had and this one had promised never to hurt you. But here he was, crushing any hope you had that this Logan would be different.  
You forced yourself to turn around, putting your back to them. You couldn't stand to look at them anymore.  
You were faced with Laura standing there in the doorway of the apartment. She was silent, watching you, and you had a sinking feeling in your gut that told you this wouldn't go your way either.  
"Laura, I--," you started as you approached her, not even sure where you would end up. "Do you want to come with me?" Was what you settled on, because evidently you couldn't stay here. You had been through so much with Laura. You had survived the Void together and fought together just to survive. Surely, that had to mean something to her. ‘Don’t leave me all alone,’ was what you wanted to beg, but you didn’t want Logan to have the satisfaction of seeing you brought down to your lowest point.  
Laura took a few steps forward and you wondered if she would meet you in the middle. Instead, she walked past you and stood at the table, joining Logan and his wife. "I can't lose him again," Laura said, echoing your thoughts. Except, Laura could stay and you had to go.  
You saw Logan's wife, the other you, the one he was choosing over you, reach out to flick Laura's ear. Instead of snapping at her, Laura turned a fond, soft smile on the other you and you felt another piece of your heart break.  
That was your thing with Laura and that should have been your smile. Logan's wife had swept in and cleared you out, leaving no room for you.  
You could feel the fight or flight instinct rising within you and you chose to get the hell out of there. It wasn't your home anymore, because someone had filled your role. You were no longer needed.  
You didn't even know where you were going to go, but you somehow found yourself right at Wade's doorstep. You brought your hand up to knock, terror and despair coursing through you.  
Wade answered the door in a suit and tie. You would have asked him what the hell was going on, but he didn't give you a chance to talk. He leaned on the doorframe, considering you with a grimace. "I thought you'd show up here after you found out." 
"You know?" You weren't sure why it felt like such a betrayal, but you always thought Wade would have had your back. Why didn't he track you down and warn you? Why had no one just given you some kind of heads up that you would be completely ousted from the life you had built for yourself with Logan? 
"Sure do, baby bird," Wade confirmed with a quick nod of his head. There was something off in his tone. This didn't feel like the same Wade you had come to know and reluctantly love. This almost felt like a stranger wearing a Wade mask. "I was there when she showed up. Just walked right out of that portal and into Logan's arms like she hasn't been dead for the past who knows how long." 
You hated that you could picture that perfectly, as if Wade's memory was playing out in your head.  
"Yeah, well, it looks like I'm not needed anymore now that he has who he really wants." You felt like an idiot for ever thinking you were more than just a placeholder for Logan's wife. You didn't want to cry in front of Wade, but you could feel the sting of tears in your eyes.  
Wade tilted his head to the side, watching you with an intensity that was almost unnerving. "So, what are you gonna do now?" 
"Can I stay here?" You tried, knowing that you couldn't go back to your apartment. You didn't want to ever step foot in there again, knowing that the bright, happy memories you had created were now tainted with misery.  
Wade brought his foot back, kicking the door to his apartment open enough for you to see Vanessa seated at the table. "No can do," Wade answered with a wince. "You see, I'm trying to win her back over and I'm already sharing a one bedroom apartment with Blind Al, so it's a little cramped around here. But hey, if you join the X-Men, it usually comes with free room and board. They'll take anyone," he got out on a laugh, before he waved his hand. "Well, except for me. You shoot one person," he lamented, shaking his head in disappointment. "Or, hey, I hear Love Island is casting. Might be time to find you a new boo." 
"So," you started, trying to reconcile the fact that you no longer had a home with Logan and now you couldn't find one either with Wade. "I can't stay here," you said, and it was no longer a question, it was just a fact of your new lonely, pathetic existence. 
There was something so off about everything that had happened that day and you were trying to make sense of all of it. You had just spent the night before making a special dinner for your family and now you didn't even have one.  
Everything was happening so fast that you felt like you weren’t even really processing it. Why hadn’t you just stayed at the apartment and fought for Logan? This was your life. Your home, your family, your love. Why were you just giving it all up so easily? You didn’t understand, but now you weren’t even sure you would be able to force yourself to go back. 
"No," Wade admitted, with a sheepish grin. "It's not only Vanessa, you see, but Logan. I mean, Deadpool and Wolverine are a package deal now. There's no breaking up that superhero wet dream team and if I'm harboring his ex? Then that'll just make it more awkward than the time I used his toothbrush on Dogpool. Trust me, he made me regret that one. There are some places those claws of his should not go," he warned with a shudder.  
Hearing Wade refer to you as Logan's ex broke something inside you. You could feel hurt begin to overwhelm you, swiftly replaced by anger. You let out a short, sharp scream of frustration. You didn't even realize you had formed a forcefield around you and pushed out with it until you realized Wade had been knocked several steps back.  
"Y/N--" Wade started, but you turned away from him.  
You didn't want to be placated and you didn't want to deal with anymore of Wade's nonsense. You let yourself go invisible, knowing that it was the only way you would feel safe now.  
You wandered around the neighborhood for hours, trying to figure out where you belonged. You trudged from street to street before unerringly finding your way back to your apartment complex once night fell. You didn't dare go inside, but you stayed out on the sidewalk. People passed by you, never knowing you were even there, and you kept your gaze up on the window that shone brightest in the dark.  
Logan was up there. He was with his wife and Laura and they were a family in their home enjoying a night together. You were no one with nothing and no home to share with anyone. 
You weren't sure why you stayed there for so long, but you thought it had something to do with hope and an inane wish that he would come downstairs and tell you it was all some sick joke. You thought of his promise that he would always find you, even when you were hidden, but that hadn't been true either.  
Logan was happy without you, because he had what he really wanted all along. So, why would he come find you when he didn't even need you anymore? 
Or worse, Logan knew you were down here and just didn't care about you anymore.  
With that revelation, you turned and walked away. There was a swirling mess of thoughts stuck in your head that dredged up the same old insecurities you thought you had shed once and for all.  
You would never be good enough. You were unloved. You didn't matter. You weren't worth anything. 
You had no one.  
You felt tears slide down your cheeks as you aimlessly roamed from place to place. You next found yourself outside the X-Mansion, wondering if you should take Wade's advice and join up with the X-Men. As much as you longed to feel like you belonged somewhere, you didn't think you could go back to saving people with a smile on your face like you weren't slowly withering inside.  
There was a whisper of your name on the air. You glanced over your shoulder, looking to see who called your name, but you found no one. It had been so faint that you might have imagined it, but there was a feeling, an electrified touch, that had briefly set your nerves alight.  
You weren't sure what time it was, but you were exhausted. You found it pathetic and sad that you didn't have anywhere to go. You didn't even have money for a hotel room. All you could think to do was find a park and drop down onto a bench. At the very least, you knew you could protect yourself if anyone tried to attack you.  
You formed a forcefield around you, ignoring the fact that it would only slip away while you slept, and let yourself drift away.  
When you woke, you weren't alone. You jolted in place, suddenly wide awake, and scrambled to sit up. On the bench across from yours, a man was sitting reading a newspaper.  
He quirked an eyebrow at you when he realized he had your attention.  
"I was wondering when you would wake up," he said, lowering the newspaper.  
He had dark eyes and darker hair. He wore a suit with a black trench coat, but the illusion of a businessman was ruined by the combat boots he was wearing. His skin was pale and there was a faint ring of red around his eyes that had you wondering if he was wearing makeup. His appearance, oddly enough, seemed false, but the grin on his face was genuine, if a bit unsettling.  
"Were you watching me?" You couldn't help but wonder, half-torn between becoming invisible to make your escape and staying to get answers.  
"Yes," he answered, unashamed by his actions. "I thought it fascinating that someone would let you stay out here all alone. You don't deserve that, so I stayed to keep watch over you." 
You wanted to tell him you could take care of yourself, but you didn't feel so sure about that anymore. The reminder of your loneliness crept up on you and you could feel doubt settle over you. You were on your own now without a team. No one was going to come save you if you found yourself in trouble. You would simply have to claw your own way out.  
"What's your name?" You decided to ask instead, studying him from across the small concrete path that separated you.  
"Nathaniel," he introduced himself with a smile. "And you are?" 
"Y/N," you returned, with a half-hearted wave.  
"Now, I know we just met, but I do have one thing on my mind," Nathaniel started, leaning in towards you after placing his newspaper on the bench beside him. "What on earth are you doing out here all by yourself?" 
You felt your lips twist to the side in a frown as you bit down on the side of your mouth to keep a lid on the emotions that threatened to boil over at the reminder of the previous day. "I--," you cut yourself off, not sure how to phrase your situation to a stranger without making it seem as if you had completely lost your mind. "I lost my home yesterday," you settled on with a grimace. "My family kicked me out." 
Nathaniel made a sympathetic noise before he stood up. "May I?" He asked, gesturing towards your bench. 
You shrugged your shoulders in answer but moved over to leave him enough space to sit down beside you.  
"In my experience, family is a fickle thing," Nathaniel continued once he was at your side. "People come and go, but you have to be able to stand by yourself and forge your own path once it all falls apart." 
"I don't know if I can do that this time," you whispered, ashamed to admit that you were on the brink of losing whatever control over your emotions you had managed since waking up.  
Nathaniel turned so he could watch you. It was a bit unnerving, but you figured you had no one else for company. A smirk tugged at his lips as he studied you. "You're a fighter," he assured you.  
"Oh?" You wondered, returning his stare. "And how would you know that?" 
His smirk was still in place as he tapped his temple. "I'm psychic," he proclaimed, holding up his fingers and waving them before imitating a ghostly wail.  
You couldn't help the laugh that escaped you and it felt so wrong.  
"There we go," Nathaniel murmured with a pleased smile. "Look, I know you don't know me, but how about a drink? Coffee?" He prompted, moving to stand and holding out a hand to you.  
You didn't want to wallow in your misery on the park bench all by yourself and you figured Nathaniel made a decent enough distraction. "You're paying," you told him, reluctantly grabbing his hand and letting him help you up. "Only because I don't have any money." 
Nathaniel laughed, the sound briefly jarring to you, and cocked his head to the side. "In that case, I'll buy you breakfast too." 
You found yourself in a diner booth sitting across from Nathaniel. He offered to buy you whatever you wanted, but you settled for a cup of coffee and a stack of pancakes. You weren't all that hungry and you couldn't get your mind off Logan. You wondered what he was doing right at that moment and then you dashed the thought. He was probably happy with his wife and Laura and had forgotten all about you.  
"Hey," Nathaniel called, getting your attention. "Where did you go?" 
You shook your head, biting your lip to distract yourself.  
"Thinking about your family?" He prompted, shooting you a wary look. "I know I'm a stranger and it's none of my business, but do you want to tell me what happened? Maybe I can offer some perspective." 
You scowled down at your pancakes, pushing them halfheartedly around the plate with a fork. You glanced around the diner, spotting a blonde woman wearing a white suit watching you curiously from a booth not far from yours. You shook your head at Nathaniel, not wanting anyone to overhear you.  
"Let's get out of here," you told him, pushing yourself out of the booth. "I could use a walk to clear my head." 
"Alright," Nathaniel readily agreed, standing as well. While he placed a twenty on the table, you made for the door.  
There was that whisper again in the air that had you looking over your shoulder. Someone was calling your name, but you didn't see anyone you recognized. No one was even looking at you except for Nathaniel who was slowly approaching you.  
"You okay?" Nathaniel interrupted, stealing your attention away.  
"Yeah," you muttered, briefly nodding your head. "Just c'mon," you said, barely waiting for Nathaniel to follow you before you pushed through the door and walked outside.  
You didn't think you would be able to confide in a total stranger, but there was something strangely freeing about unloading all the burdens on your mind to someone who didn't know anything about you. You even managed to drop the mutant bomb on him and were surprised when Nathaniel only took it in stride, as if he had expected all along you weren’t quite normal. He mostly seemed focused on what you told him about your family and how you lost them all in one fell swoop.  
"Sounds like you're better off without them," Nathaniel mused. "Anyone who would let you go like that is an idiot." 
"Maybe," you begrudgingly agreed. You didn't think it was possible, but Nathaniel had managed to make you feel better. Maybe letting out all your worries had briefly unburdened you. Or maybe since you lost everyone, you had been desperate to hear someone tell you it wasn’t your fault.  
"They're all ungrateful idiots," Nathaniel continued. "You're special," he told you. "And you deserve more." 
His tone brooked no argument, but you were a little thrown off by how serious he seemed.  
"I don't know what I'm going to do now," you deflected, scowling down at your hands. "I don't have anyone or anywhere to go. And I've just spent the day with a stranger telling him my whole pathetic sob story." 
"I'm not a stranger anymore," Nathaniel offered with a grin. "You know my name and everything." 
"I know literally nothing else about you," you pointed out. You were starting to feel apprehensive about trusting someone you didn't even know. Your head was beginning to hurt and you could feel your hands trembling. You weren't sure why panic had hit you all at once, but you could feel your heart beating overtime in your chest and a cold sweat begin to break out along your skin. You were beginning to hyperventilate, confused and overwhelmed, when Nathaniel took you by the shoulders and forced you to look into his eyes.  
"Hey, it's all going to be okay. Just trust me, alright? Y/N, you with me?"  
You tried to focus on Nathaniel, but there was a ringing in your ears and you swore someone else was trying to get your attention. You shook your head, trying to keep yourself from falling right into a spiral. You forced yourself to take slow, deep breaths, realizing that Nathaniel was also taking them, trying to coach you through your anxiety attack.  
You closed your eyes once you finally felt like you could stand on your own two feet without freaking out. You took a moment to center yourself before allowing yourself to open your eyes again.  
"Thanks," you whispered, nodding at him when he shot you a skeptical look. "I'm fine. I'll be fine," you claimed, even though you knew it was a lie. You were tired of loving and losing. Your heart ached for Logan and you knew that you would never recover from losing him. But Nathaniel, odd as he was, had managed to help you feel like maybe you didn't have to spend the rest of your existence completely alone.  
"I know you will," Nathaniel confirmed with another one of his smiles. "Because you're coming home with me." 
You stared at Nathaniel, waiting for the punchline, but it never came. "I could be a serial killer," you warned him with a scoff. "And you're inviting me into your home?" 
Nathaniel shrugged his shoulders, a smirk on his face. "I'm not scared of you." 
He sounded so sure of himself that you couldn't help the disbelieving laugh that escaped you. "You're completely insane, aren't you?" 
"So, is that a yes?" Nathaniel wondered, holding his hand out to you and waiting for you to take it. "Will you join me?" 
You stared down at his hand for a beat too long to be socially acceptable. It felt like you were about to make a deal with the devil, but Nathaniel had been nothing but kind. He had given you a shoulder to cry on and was now giving you a place to go so you wouldn’t have to spend another night on a park bench. 
You knew it was probably a bad idea, but you still found yourself reaching out to take his hand.  
"Okay," you reluctantly agreed. "I'll go with you." 
You thought it would be weird once you found yourself in Nathaniel's apartment, but it felt oddly familiar. He had a guest room that he had designated as yours and made sure you could take whatever you wanted from the fridge. You didn't know how to return his kindness, but you knew you would have to find a way.  
Nathaniel had gone out to get dinner while you waited on his couch, idly flipping through channels. You were starting to doze off, exhausted, when you heard someone calling for you.  
You squinted at the television, wondering if you were hearing things, when it happened again. You had stopped on a news report, catching sight of the woman from the diner. You assumed she was a news anchor, but the way she was looking at the camera gave you the eerie sensation that she was somehow actually watching you. When her gaze drifted over, as if looking at someone behind you, you rushed to turn off the television. 
You cautiously glanced over your shoulder, half-expecting to see someone standing there. But you were alone.  
 “Y/N,” the voice called again. It was faint, like they were outside, but close enough for you to hear.  
“What the fuck is happening?” You growled, growing frustrated. “Where are you?” 
You stood, wondering if you should go looking for whoever was trying to reach you, when Nathaniel walked into the apartment. He held up the bag of takeout and nodded towards the kitchen table.  
"Ready to eat?" 
Time dragged on as days and weeks passed. You still thought of Logan practically every waking moment, but Nathaniel had done his best to distract you.  
You were grateful for him, because you didn't know how you would have lived without someone there to fill the void in your life.  
You weren't sure what day it was or even how long had passed since you last saw Logan, but you knew that you had started to heal.  
"Sometimes," Nathaniel told you once you voiced that thought to him. "You have to let something break so you can piece it back together to get something new. To get what you truly want. What is it that you want, Y/N?" Nathaniel studied you with the same unnerving intensity he always did and you hated to admit that you were finding it less weird each time it happened.  
Logan was the first thought that came to your mind. You wanted Logan and you wanted your home and you wanted your family. You wanted to show Laura how to cook and you wanted to follow Wade into crazy situations, knowing that he would have your back just like you had his back. You wanted to crawl into bed with Logan at the end of each day knowing that you were wanted and cherished.  
Nathaniel made a disappointed noise before he shook his head. "There's no going back," he told you "I'm sorry, but it's just not going to happen." 
You didn't like the way he sounded so sure of himself. Nathaniel didn't know Logan and he didn't even really know you. You had spent weeks with him, but years of your life had been devoted to a Logan. Your Logan had been better, you knew it, so maybe you were the one who wasn't worthy.  
Nathaniel made a tsking noise before he reached out. He wrapped his hand lightly along the underside of your jaw, his thumb pressed to the other side of your neck over your pulse point. He considered you for a long moment, as if he was searching for something.  
"He left you," Nathaniel reminded you, as if it hadn't been eating you up inside since it happened. "You are special. You deserve to be cherished," he continued, and you started to worry about the potentially romantic direction he was going with his lecture. A brief smile flitted across his face, as if he could read your mind, before his expression slipped back towards something more serious. "You're lost and you're broken," he added, gently sweeping his thumb over your pulse point. "Let me put the pieces back together." 
You weren't even sure if you trusted Nathaniel, but you had spent so long hurting that you were tempted to say yes.  
You suddenly felt like someone had brushed their hand over the back of your head and you heard someone call your name. It was the same voice as before and you knew better than to look for someone you wouldn't find. But Nathaniel's eyes strayed just over your shoulder, as if he had heard it too. There was a brief flicker of irritation on his face before he gifted you with a sincere smile.  
"I've got you," he promised. "No one is ever going to get near you again." 
"Okay," you finally agreed, if only because you were curious about what he had in mind. You also couldn't deny that you were just so desperate to not fall back into that desolate pit of isolation you had begun to dig for yourself. Nathaniel saw you and he wanted you. There wasn't much else you felt like you could ask for now.  
And if Nathaniel's sharp smile sent a shiver through you for all the wrong reasons, then you were the only one who had to know about that.  
Nathaniel seemed insistent that in order to move on, you would have to make yourself stronger. To him, that seemed to mean training day and night, improving upon your power in new and terrifying ways.  
You spent hours, days, weeks, stretching the limits of your power. Your power had always been meant as a defense, to protect and contain, but now you wanted to wield it as a weapon.  
Your progress felt excruciatingly slow, but you had to admit that you were pleased with the results. It started simple enough with just a thought. You wanted your forcefields to hurt. The barriers you would have erected to protect yourself should also be used to hurt anyone who dared get too close.   
Nathaniel had rented out an abandoned location in a strip mall and set up targets for you to use. More often than not, he was watching you, as if he was waiting for something. Other times, he seemed content to leave you alone, trusting you would have something new to show him when he returned.  
You practiced on the targets, first forming forcefields around your fists and breaking anything that stood in your way. Nothing held up to them and you started growing bored of that tactic. You started to think that if you could form a forcefield, then it could be any shape you wanted. Spikes, swords, knives all began to adorn the edges of your forcefields, facing out and ready to maim anything that was in the way.  
Nathaniel seemed eager when you first formed a forcefield that was outlined with spikes and used it to repeatedly stab holes into the brick fence that lined the back of the property. You were sure he was never going to get his deposit back, but he didn't even seem to care. He only encouraged you to think bigger and do more.  
With time, you were even able to produce two forcefields at once. It was exhausting and drained all your energy, but you liked the idea of protecting yourself while also using a different forcefield to hurt an attacker. From there, it was only natural to think of taking a forcefield, forming it around an enemy, and turning the projected spikes inward, letting them impale your target without a way to escape.  
You felt stronger and invulnerable. You had never thought to test your power like this, and the feeling was nearly intoxicating. Logan and Laura and Wade were still on your mind, but now you knew that you didn’t need them. Like Nathaniel told you, you could stand on your own and forge your own path ahead.  
No one would hold you back now.  
The first time you felt the full force of your own power was when Nathaniel was taunting you into a reaction.  
"He doesn't care about you anymore. He's moved on with the true love of his life and you are nothing to him. You don't need him anymore. You can show him that you're better off without him." 
There were targets surrounding you, but you didn't care about them. All you could think about was Logan and the stupid lovelorn look on his face as he looked at his wife. He looked like he had been saved. Saved from you and whatever pathetic existence he was ready to settle for in her absence. You deserved better and you wanted to rip that stupid look right off his face. You wanted to make him and her regret it.  
You let out a scream of frustration, punching out with your forcefield at one of the targets, but it got carried away from you. All the targets snapped back, taken out at once from the blast. It carried farther out, nearly ripping the door off its hinges and shattering the front windows.  
You looked at Nathaniel, where he was splayed on the floor, staring up at you in awe.  
"You did it," he praised as he began to push himself to his feet. You crossed over towards him, holding out your hand to help get him up off the floor. “I knew you could do it.” 
"What was that?" You wondered, breathless and ecstatic. Your power had never quite felt like that before. You wanted to try it again, the rush of it addicting. If you could hone that and strengthen it, then you could use it on multiple enemies at once. You could become nearly unstoppable.   
"A repulsion field," Nathaniel answered, reaching out to rest a hand on your shoulder. "With time, I expect you'll be able to direct it and control it. You’ll be able to take out a whole city if you want." 
"Shit," you breathed, still shocked that you had managed something like that. "I didn't think I could use my power in that way. It was...exciting," you decided with a grin at Nathaniel.  
"I told you that you're special," he reminded you. "I knew you had that in you all along." 
"Thank you," you found yourself saying. You considered the targets on the floor and wondered if there would be any more use in them.  
"I have extras," Nathaniel assured you. "Want to try again?" 
You felt a pleased little thrill shoot through you at the thought. "Fuck yes," you answered.  
A week passed since you found out about the extra perk your power allowed you. You felt more confident and assured of yourself. Gone was the self-doubt and in its place was a feeling that you could defeat anyone or anything.  
You were walking to the store with Nathaniel, thinking about what you might want to make for dinner. Nathaniel was being unusually quiet and leaving you alone to your thoughts. You wondered if something was wrong, but then you spotted her.  
It was you. The other you. She was alone. No Logan or Laura or Wade in her vicinity.  
You couldn't help the way you froze on the sidewalk or the fury that rose up swiftly enough you felt nearly sick with it.  
She was to blame for everything. She had stolen your life away from you and now she got to be happy while you spent the rest of your life wanting someone you would never have again.  
"Is that her?" Nathaniel asked, rounding back to standing at your side. "The one who stole your life from you?" 
You nodded your head, attempting to keep a lid on your anger.  
"Why don't you make her regret it?" 
The idea was so simple, but so damn tempting. You could just imagine the look on her face when she realized she was incredibly outmatched now. You could destroy her within seconds and she would never be able to stop you. 
You knew it wasn't something you should entertain. You had lived your whole life as a hero. There was a line you would have never dared to cross before but after everything that had happened, you were starting to realize that line was blurred beyond recognition. As far as you were concerned, she had stolen your life from you, and it was only right that she realized what a mistake that had been.  
"You're better than her now. Stronger," Nathaniel continued, leaning in closer to you. "She can't do half of what you can. Show her what you've learned." 
"I don't know," you tried to deflect. You wanted your revenge, but there was still a tiny voice in your head saying it wasn’t right. It wasn’t what you were supposed to do. 
"Aren't you tired?" Nathaniel hissed, his hand coming up to clutch your shoulder in a near-painful grip. "Tired of being the doormat. The hero. The martyr. Don't let them get away with it. Don't let her walk away." 
You didn't even realize you had made up your mind until you were walking up to the other you. She was checking out a display of plants that had been left outside of the market for customers to choose, but she seemed to sense your approach, because she turned to consider you.  
You weren't sure what she saw when she looked at you, but her eyes went wide with fear, and she immediately pulled up a forcefield. You stalked forward, intent on your target. You didn't care if anyone was watching, because you felt like you were completely justified in your actions.  
You passed right through her forcefield and pushed her back. She fell to the ground, staring up at you in terror. You pulled your fist back, forming your own forcefield around it. You let spikes form along the outside facing towards her. All you had to do was bring it down onto her face. It would be a killing blow, and you would never have to think about her again. Logan would lose the love of his life, but maybe he would come back to you. Maybe you could return to him stronger, better, and without any more competition.  
For a moment, as you looked right into her face, it was like gazing into a mirror. The scar was gone, her hair was the same as yours, and you were wearing similar clothes. She looked just like you.  
You were convinced that she was you.  
And that made you pull back, horrified at what you had almost done.  
Her eyes were closed, ready for a blow that you weren't capable of dealing any longer.  
"I'm sorry," you whispered before stepping away, propelling yourself right out of her forcefield.  
"Y/N?" Nathaniel called, pulling your attention towards him. "What are you doing? She's right there. Kill her," he demanded, his lips pulling back in a sneer.  
You shook your head, feeling something indescribable but ultimately terrified swell within you. What had you become? What had Nathaniel done to you? You had let him so far into your head that you had almost done something unspeakable.  
You made yourself go invisible before you took off running. You didn't know where you were going or where you would even hide, but you knew that you needed to get away from Nathaniel. He had pushed you to do more, be more, and you had never once stopped to think about which road you were heading down and whether it would lead you right to the point of no return.  
You could hear Nathaniel yelling for you to stop and come back, but you didn't listen. You wanted to get away from him and just think. It felt like you had let him take up residence in your head and now you wanted to figure out how the hell to evict him.  
You ran until you felt like you were going to collapse. You finally stopped outside of a library. You rushed inside, catching a glimpse of the news anchor flipping through a book as you went right for the back corner.  Two bookshelves met there and you sank right to the floor in front of them. You dropped your head into your hands and forced yourself to take deep breaths.  
"Y/N," you heard someone call. It wasn't Nathaniel and it wasn't anyone else you immediately recognized. But it was familiar. They had been trying to get your attention all along.  
"What," you snapped, already feeling like you were on the verge of crumbling. Nathaniel had been right that you were broken, but who was going to put the pieces back together this time? It felt like Nathaniel had managed to piece them back together all wrong and you didn't even feel like yourself anymore.  
"Y/N," the voice called again.  
You closed your eyes and focused on the voice. You reached out for it, desperate for any sort of lifeline. It was a spark right at the back of your mind. You rushed to meet it, eager to figure out who had been trying to talk to you.  
"My name is Charles Xavier."  
You startled, nearly letting the tenuous connection between you and Charles drop, but finally throwing everything you had towards it.  
"This world is a lie," Charles continued once he realized you could hear him. "Do not let him break you. They're coming to find you." 
"Who?" You couldn't help but ask, hope and fear clashing inside you, threatening to overwhelm you.  
"A rather odd group of saviors," Charles answered, a hint of amusement clear in his words. "But stay strong and do what you can to break free of his hold. He has a way to keep me out, so once he finds you, I’m afraid I won’t be much help to you. Just hold on until they get there." 
You didn't know how you were going to get yourself out. You were starting to think it was hopeless, because you hadn’t even realized you were trapped in the first place. The more you thought about it, though, the more obvious it became that something had been wrong since the morning you woke up and Logan’s wife was sitting in your kitchen. The fact that she had come back from the dead, Logan’s quick dismissal of you, Laura and Wade both turning their backs on you. Nathaniel’s convenient timing and the way he watched you as if you were nothing more than an experiment for him. A pet mutant he could poke and prod and play with while you were none the wiser.   
“Who’s coming to find me?” You didn’t dare to assume that you were worth the rescue, but you couldn’t help yourself. You had to know. You had to hold onto the one little spark of hope you could feel burning defiantly inside you.  
For one terrifying moment, your mind was still, and you felt crushingly alone. Just when you thought you had been abandoned, Charles left you with one final word.  
"Logan." 
Author's Note: There will be a fourth chapter! Did I have you going for a while there? I felt so evil writing this. I truly did. If you liked this, please let me know. Not to sound needy, but comments/reblogs/etc. literally fuel me to write more and inspire me so much to keep coming up with fun stuff. Thank you to everyone who has shown this series any support! Also, if you would like to be added/removed from the taglist, just let me know!
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maccreadysbaby · 10 months ago
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Writing Tips; Dialogue
Does your dialogue fall flat, or feel thin and strange? Does it feel like your characters are talking like robots? Do your conversations sound repetitive and monotone? We’ve all been there. It’s a very common occurrence amongst writers. Here are some of my favorite ways to avoid the monotone robot characters and add life and movement into your dialogue!
In this post, we’re going to have an example sentence that changes as I talk about different additions. Here it is in its naked, base form: “I know it’s real I saw it,” Nico said.
Now, let’s hop into making it lively, shall we?
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1) PUNCTUATION
Commas and punctuation are your best friends! Use them. Use the crap out of them. Many people will say commas can’t go here and they can’t go there, but I say, in dialogue, it doesn’t matter. If you want your character to pause but you don’t want to use an ellipsis because it feels too long, use a comma. Put them wherever you want. Wherever your character pauses. If your character is rambling or talking really fast, take them out. It’s your dialogue. Use any and all punctuation to bedazzle up your lines. There is never too many or too little of anything if you want it that way, folks.
Keep in mind, punctuation can change the whole feeling of your sentence and the way your readers imagine your character talking. For example, your punctuation should differ between an excited and a sad line.
Here is the example sentence, punctuated in two different ways. “I know it’s real, I saw it!” Nico said. “I know it’s real… I saw it,” Nico said.
Can you see how just the change in punctuation changes the way you imagine him saying it? Really hone in on how your character is speaking and punctuate it to show that. (Keep in mind that this is your story and your character. You don’t have to obey punctuation rules and writing stereotypes, your story obeys you.) Put whatever punctuation you want there. Use thirty commas in your sentence. Use an ellipsis after every word. If it makes your character sound how you want them to sound, go for it, friends!
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2) ITALICS
Some people hate reading over-italicized works, but that’s their own preference. Italics is a great way to add interest, movement, and a characters natural inflection into your dialogue. (I freaking love italics.) Italics helps readers understand what the character is focused on, and how they’re speaking. Again, people will say not to use it too much or only to use it so many times in a paragraph… but the key here is still to write it how you like it. Italics can make your sentences sound more human and more authentic.
Here is our pair of examples, now with punctuation and italics. “I know it’s real, I saw it!” Nico said. “I know it’s real… I saw it,” Nico said.
Take a minute and read through the example dialogue, imagining each word italicized one by one. Pay attention to the meaning and context it gives it. (For example, if the ‘I’ at the beginning is in italics — I know it’s real — that could imply that he’s talking to someone who doesn’t know or believe whatever he’s talking about is real.)
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3) DIALOGUE TAGS
Tags. Tags, tags, tags! Tags are so important! Tags are brilliant for clarifying and identifying exactly how your character is speaking and how they intend for the statement to come across. If you ignore every other tip in this post, don’t ignore the tag! There are so many different words you could use instead of said that give life and context to your lines. Muttered, mumbled, yelled, shouted, exclaimed, whined, groaned, whispered, and a ton ton ton more. Use these to your advantage, like an outline for your dialogue. The tag is undoubtedly the easiest way to make your lines come across the way you want them to.
Here’s the examples with different tags! “I know it’s real, I saw it!” Nico defended. “I know it’s real… I saw it,” Nico mumbled.
Don’t be afraid to move your tag around, either! Sometimes, in order to make your conversations less repetitive, moving your tags are nice. You can put them at the beginning, middle, or end! (Middle tags are my favorite, I use them a whole, whole lot…)
Here’s the example sentence with a tag at the beginning and middle. Nico growled: “I know it’s real, I saw it!” “I know it’s real…” Nico muttered. “I saw it.”
Don’t forget, tags don’t always have to be how they’re speaking. It can also be what they’re doing or how they’re acting, which can be just as telling as other tags. (I use action tags sooooooo much. Action tags in the middle of dialogue is my jam.)
The example sentences with action tags: Nico crossed his arms, huffing deeply. “I know it’s real, I saw it!” “I know it’s real…” Nico averted his gaze, staring down at his shoes instead. “I saw it.”
Or, you can mix them both! An action tag plus how they’re speaking for maximum impact and description.
Here’s the example sentence with both! Nico rolled his eyes, hissing: “I know it’s real, I saw it!” “I know it’s real…” Nico uttered, poorly stifling a shudder. “I saw it.”
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4) DESCRIPTION
Describing the way your character looks, moves, speaks, etc etc before and after the line can further help your readers know how they feel about what they’re saying. This is especially important if the character is not the main character and doesn’t have internal dialogue. Body language can explain things voices can’t or won’t. You can explore putting these descriptions before the line, after the line, in the tag, or after the tag. Whatever you prefer!
Here’s the sentence with descriptive sentences with it. I did one before the line & tag and one in the middle! He was practically fuming, his eyebrows knitted so closely together they looked like a single strip of hair. His eyes were flicking between his friends like he was trying to determine if they were joking, blue irises blurred with a rage-fueled haze. Nico finally rolled his eyes, hissing: “I know it’s real, I saw it!” “I know it’s real…” Nico uttered, poorly stifling a shudder. His eyes never left the floor, and he looked smaller, younger as he spoke. His breaths weren’t exactly even, but they weren’t too quick, either. “I saw it.”
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Look at those two very different scenarios we got out of the same base line! This is the power you hold, folks, the power to un-bland your dialogue and make it into something intense and memorable for your readers! The power to make it portray exactly what you want it to portray! No more worrying how your readers took that line, because you set in stone how it was presented.
Remember, making a paragraph like that for every line might get tiring or repetitive to read. Sometimes tags alone are good enough in fast-paced or long conversations, and sometimes, if the dialogue makes it clear who is speaking, the line can suffice by itself!
If you have any writing tip requests, drop them in my inbox!
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sushirrrry · 9 months ago
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would love to see a blurb about best friend harry thinking yn’s boyfriend doesn’t deserve her and accidentally confesses his feelings for her
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bound a harry styles one-shot blurb; 7.2k words cw: fluff fluff and more fluff
When Harry had booked this trip, there were three things that he was looking forward to.
One of them was the open bar that their friends—the new Mr. and Mrs. Moxley—would be providing to them, which would include a couple gin and tonics too many.
The second was the beachfront room that he had scored from the credit card points he had expertly racked up the past few months, especially for this trip to Barcelona for his friend’s wedding. He thought he had scored a pretty good deal.
The third was seeing Cassidy for a weekend straight.
While the two of them lived in the same city, they were walking different paths at the moment, which had never been them. There were nights that they met for dinner, almost like nothing had changed. But Harry lived in South London; he had been working long nights in the museum, Cassidy was on the opposite side of the city working at her accounting position she had taken recently.
Both hadn’t had each other’s undivided attention in quite some time, and Harry was looking forward to the possibility of having that again. The kind of attention, the kind of laughs and indescribable joy that they had both needed—he was sure of it.
If there was one thing that he knew about Cass, it was that she was sprinting on the plane to get the vacation she had been looking forward to.
Plus, neither of them had a plus-one this time around.
That meant that it was just the two of them, and Harry couldn’t help but smirk every time he thought of it. Undivided attention.
Harry had thrown on a linen suit for the welcome party; the night before the wedding. He had started to unpack his room, trying to pass the time before he knew that Cass would arrive. Once he heard a buzzing on his phone, his head lifted from looking down into his suitcase and towards the device on the duvet.
If there was one thing Harry was going to do on his vacation, it was unpack the entirety of his suitcase before doing anything else.
iddy: smyf
The small acronym ‘show me your fit’ made him smile before he noticed a few more texts rolling in, the dots precursing them on the phone.
iddy: for tonight, not right now. I should have clarified. Please don’t send a pic of your penis
iddy: someone has to make sure I’m not overdressed. How do you dress for a pre-wedding dinner
The panic over the texts was exactly how Harry knew Cassidy; she worried over small things but overlooked the bigger picture. It was a small, miniscule flaw, really.
But before he’s able to even move towards the large mirror in his bathroom, his phone vibrates again. His attention is grabbed by the way that his eyes move over the image that comes in, rather than the words he had been reading from her.
And something about it made him stop in his tracks on his own way to show her what he had looked like.
Something about the way that she held the phone up to the mirror, giving a small pout—a playful one, as if unsure of herself. The way that the wisps of her hair were around her face, but the rest was pulled back by a clip—he was certain of it. She didn’t like having her hair down if she could help it.
Harry swallowed in the comfort of the room, almost like he was trying to keep himself from getting caught in the moment, even when no one was around. His eyes flew over the soft baby blue of the dress, the way that it dipped down, just a bit.
The way that the color danced over her tanned skin; maybe even a bit red from the sun he was certain that she had taken apart in as soon as they hopped off the plane. Harry knew that she bathed in the sun whenever it came out in London; she wouldn’t have gotten burned there, though.
There were dainty cream flower details—maybe stitching, even—on the dress as he zoomed in to get a better look at it.
His thumb cruised over the message, writing out a message before he pressed send.
Harry: good thing you told me not to send you a pic of my penis! Was about to!
Harry: also, you look beautiful, c
He frowned when she sent another message.
iddy: ok but am I overdressed
Harry: no, see
Harry held his phone up to the mirror as she had done to him—as they had done for one another many times before. But something about the way he looked in it bothered him for a moment. He fixed his hair, running his hand through it, almost to make sure that it looked much better than usual. He adjusted the cuffs of his suit before he sent the picture through to her.
The cream suit was opened, a white shirt settled underneath it. He wore a pair of his favorite white sneakers that fit like a glove, even a bit scuffed—but he felt that that balanced the outfit.
When he sent the photo, he waited a moment for Cass to send something back. But it felt like the longer he stared, the more pressure he felt to not see the grey dots coming back on the screen.
He bit the inside of his lip, waiting patiently before he locked the phone and slid it down into his pocket.
Instead of worrying about that, Harry checked his watch to see that it was closing in on six-thirty– which meant that he was fashionably late to the six o’clock time for the dinner.
He spritzed a bit more cologne, checked his teeth in the mirror, and pushed the bunches of curls off of his forehead that he meant to get cleaned up before coming on this trip but simply losing track of time.
He grabbed his wallet– hoping to not lose it or need it– and walked out of the hotel room door, down towards the lobby where he figured everyone would be gathering. He figured he'd take the long way, walking through some groups of people until he saw a grand staircase to lead down into the lobby area.
Harry figured that he would walk that way, down towards the main area where some familiar faces had collected for cocktail hour and drinks. His eyes maneuvered around, trying to see if he could catch a glimpse of Cass in any capacity.
Walking down the stairs, he saw Mari and Logan– the bride and groom– and greeted both of them accordingly. Mari and Harry had worked together back at uni, so they had become close friends. There may have been a night or two when Harry and Mari actually went home together, but they chalked that up to some consensual stress release.
When she started dating Logan, they started to hang around everyone more– which then included Cassidy. They would all go out together to the pubs after classes and had become really great friends since then. It was no surprise that this kind of event would bring them all together again.
“Have you guys seen Cass yet?” Harry asked, looking around. “I haven't seen here since she got here. She texted me but didn't get a response.”
Mari looked at him a bit suspiciously before turning to Logan for a moment. “Didn't you guys RSVP together?”
Harry looked up at her for a moment, shaking his head.
“No– I mean, no, I didn't respond with her name or anything. Did she do that for me?” He had thought that he marked one salmon meal and that was it.
Mari bit her lip as she blinked at him a few times. “No, but she RSPV’d a plus one, I think. Or she said something a few months ago– it's a bit fuzzy, but she told me she was coming with someone else. I– I mean, I was certain it would be you.”
Harry’s smile faltered just a bit before he shook his head, the hands in his pockets had turned to fists as he turned to look around him. Wondering if he'd lay eyes on her or watch her holding hands with another guy.
It wasn't like he hadn't seen that before, but the excitement of seeing her for the first time in a while was slowly dwindling before he turned his head for what felt like the millionth time looking for her.
But this time, his vision landed on her. The rosy colored glasses that he saw her threw was starting to dim as the picture got a bit blurry.
The baby blue dress that fell just below her knees, the dip in the front. The silky material hung on her body, but his eyes stood on the hand that hand firmly on her waist as if to keep her tucked into him.
His greatest fears becoming reality as he looked up the girl giggling at a probable reasonable remark.
Cassidy took a break from her schoolgirl giggling to see Mari and Logan standing there, looking at her and the person practically wrapped around her. But when looked up to see that Harry had also been standing right there, a sudden course of fear trembled through her.
Fear was a strong word; worry was more like it.
She had known how Harry was, which is why she kept this a secret from him. Now, he was forced to get to know her boyfriend of three months because they were here on their own accord for a weekend. They would spend it together, having each other in their lives for a weekend. That's what he had requested, and what she could agree to.
He had promised her that– even if he hadn't realized that had included this moment right here, yet.
“Hi, guys!” Cass put on her smile, a gorgeous one that pushed the dimples on her chin forward. “Mari, you look so beautiful!”
The girls wove into a hug, Harry standing and staring at the man who had let Cassidy go– looking a bit as if he was uncomfortable at letting someone else touch her. His eyes stayed on them as Cassidy pulled back and moved onto Logan, congratulating them on the whole marriage thing.
It was like she was taking a moment before she would get to him. She looked at Mari’s ring, gushing about how beautiful it was and she beautiful she looked.
Her eyes reached Harry’s then, a sheepish smile on her face before she pushed her arms out to wrap her arms around him, one over his shoulder and the other around his ribs.
“It's so good to see you.” She commented; he wanted to say something back but the comfort of her made his face retreat into the slot of her shoulder and neck.
When they pulled away, he got a real look at her and gave her the smile she had been waiting to see.
“So glad you're here.” He told her before feeling like a blush had intermittently taken its place in his cheeks.
Their connection had faded a moment before she paused; she took a breath and stepped back before remembering the man who stood behind them.
“Guys, this is–“ She looked up at him, “This is Dalton. We've been seeing each other for a few months, and just thought it would be so good to introduce him here since we're all here.”
Harry had to try to remember to release the fists in his pocket before he would go to shake his hand.
“Dalton, this is Mari and Logan– the bride and groom,” She introduced, letting him shake their hands and give their respective hello’s, followed by congratulations and thanks. But then she turned to Harry, Dalton’s composure changing a moment before he watched Harry’s change too.
Cassidy felt small between them as she stares at the way they faced one another.
“Uh, Dalton, this is my friend, Harry. Harry, this is Dalton.”
Harry lets one of the sides of his face turn up in a smile before he reaches out to be the better person. “Best friend, actually. Nice to meet you.”
Cassidy looks at Harry, almost giving him a really?
The grip of the man’s hands together feels tense as Dalton gives him a courtesy, “Nice to meet you, too.”
As Cassidy watches the interaction, she notices that the way that Harry stands is taller and fuller—like he’s trying to prove to Dalton that he’s bigger, he’s better—that he could end him in a moment’s notice, if need be. She holds onto Dalton’s arm, practically pulling the man from his trance with trying to overthrow Harry’s dominance.
“Let’s get a drink, shall we?” She offers, giving Harry another grin before Cassidy and Dalton makes their way over to the bar area.
Harry watches tentatively before he notices that Logan and Mari are also a bit in shock by the interaction and the couth that Cassidy had to bring someone into this sacred space, once again. Harry knew how Cassidy felt most days about herself—she looked for the satisfaction of a partner, the confidence boost that having someone on her arm could bring her.
It was reassuring to Harry to think that she could go into a room by herself; owning the space and knowing who she was. That was what he was hoping for in this interaction, but instead, she had to enter with someone else.
And with that, came the idea that the men that Cassidy picked always had a knack for making her the jealous type. Harry could always tell that her reactions became much more aggressive, her body language becoming possessive.
Cassidy wanted to feel like she was the most special girl in the world, and somehow, Harry was always left picking up the pieces of her tortured, stomped on heart after the last guy had decided that she wasn’t good enough. What the men in Cass’ life failed to see, was that her heart was always borrowed, on loan. It was never theirs to keep, because they never nurtured it or regarded it in any sense.
Her kindness had been taken from granted, her will to give was always overused and spent.
Harry knew that his love for Cassidy ran deeper than the deepest oceans, and wider than the largest forests, but something inside of him knew that they were better off as friends. Maybe it was because she was smart, and he figured she would have figured it out by now; the way he looked at her overruled the way he would ogle art painted on canvas, or sculptures tall and mighty.
He was always there with a rose and a smile, standing outside her door after the last guy packed his belongings and left for good.
It was why watching her happy, standing by the bar without a care in the world broke his heart into a million pieces. He knew that he was always there to rescue her, and he could see by the way that the guy stood away from her—maybe even trying to get a glimpse of the other women around him. But Cassidy’s naivety kept her eyes locked on the man instead, her irises shaped like hearts.
Mari and Logan had started a new conversation with another few people, Harry stood with his hands in his pockets as he tried to figure out a course of action. He had figured that the night would be wasted away—quite literally and figuratively—with Cassidy by his side, but now he felt more alone than he had before.
A man with champagne on a tray walked by, and Harry grabbed two flutes. One for each hand. He downed one quickly before he made his way back to the bar where the two of them had been standing before setting one of the glasses down and keeping the other before he noticed that Cassidy had grabbed a glass of red wine—Cab Sav, most likely.
The man—Dalton—held a short, rocks-glass that just had something clear in it, possibly straight vodka, if he was brave.
“So, you really didn’t bring anyone? Haven’t met anyone yet? You’ve usually grabbed a few asses by now,” Cassidy spoke out, moving around Dalton to get closer to Harry. He turned his attention back to her, shaking his head a few times.
“No—I mean, I thought we were just going to hang out. I didn’t know you were bringing someone.” Harry’s eyes flicked up towards Dalton’s before he watched Cassidy bite her lip. The red on her lips had either been from the stain of the wine or the way she bit on her lip; either way, Harry found it to be enticing enough to stare for a beat too long.
“I—I don’t know, I just assumed you would have brought someone with you. Weren’t you seeing someone?”
Harry took a sip from the flute, shrugging casually, “Yeah. But not like, exclusively.”
Cassidy nodded a few times, raising her brows, “Is it ever exclusive with you?”
There was a teasing tone in her voice, but the way that her eyes lifted to investigate his own only made his stomach drop at the intention. Harry felt an incredible sting through his chest as he cleared his throat, almost to wash away the sensitivity that he felt around his heart.
He went to speak, but his lips didn’t seem to let any words leave. Instead, the bartender interrupted as Harry realized that there may have been a small line forming behind them.
Harry, Cassidy, and Dalton moved to the side a bit—all three having their drinks in their hands before they found themselves in a circle of silence. Each taking sips of their drinks before Dalton seemed to make a move of conversation towards Harry, nodding at him.
“So, what do you do for a living, Harry?” He licked over his lips, a tight smile painted on his face before Harry could respond.
“I’m—uh, I’m an art curator. At a small art gallery in London.”
Cassidy chimed in, “Harry has great taste, actually. He’s put together some really great art expos and exhibits.”
“Hm,” Dalton hummed, “Where is the gallery? My parents host charity galas, and we are on the board at the National Gallery and the Portrait Gallery.” He chuckles a bit, “I assume you’re not curating there.”
Harry feels the way that his jaw tightens, almost an innate reaction to the way that the man puts him down. Harry pushes his shoulders back before lifting his head. Cassidy looks to Dalton, speaking on Harry’s behalf.
“N-No, it’s—” But she’s interrupted when Harry speaks, then.
“It’s neither of those, no. It’s a bit more modern, helping to lift unknown artists who are looking to make their way into the conversation, which I think it’s very important. Especially now, our worldview is so mirrored by adding such high value to art that never needed it to begin with—art shouldn’t have value like that, in my opinion.” He felt that his tongue had a bit of venom on it when he took a larger sip of the champagne, practically downing that one, as well.
Dalton nodded. “I see. Well, I assume that amateur art wouldn’t have a value like Michelangelo or Vermeer, would they? But I think it’s presumptuous to say that art doesn’t have value. Everything has a price.”
Cassidy took in a breath before she took a large sip of wine; her eyes went to Harry who almost seemed like he would explode at any moment.
“Most things don’t have a price. Nothing has a price, it’s all relative. We, as a society, added price so people of higher status could act like they were better than other people, when it was all a façade to just make them look a bit fancier with their pretty goldleaf vases and Vermeer’s. A Vermeer painting doesn’t hold value to me, anyways.”
Dalton nodded a few times, giving a mock toast to the man in front of him, before he looked down at Cassidy.
“Yeah, that’s quite obvious. Class isn’t a given, it’s inherited. You should see the types of people that try to get their hands on these gala tickets, as if it’s some sort of carnival they can just attend. Half of them don’t have two quid to rub together, and it’s just embarrassing at that point.”
Harry took a step forward before Cassidy realized that his expression meant one of anger. Her arm pushed him back a bit before Dalton recognized the move and his eyes held a gentle smirk of cockiness.
It sat in Cassidy’s throat as she felt the deflation of her confidence. The weekend she had been looking forward to being was diminished quick before her eyes, and all she could do was count on the glass of wine that hadn’t even really been filled halfway.
“What he means is, being exclusive is an honor, and you of all people should know that, I’m sure.” Her eyes drive up to him, and Harry looks at her with that same feeling of hurt that he had felt moments ago by the bar. Harry’s lips parted as he looked at her and felt the subtle sting of her accusation.
Whether or not she meant it as a jab, he wasn’t quite sure, but that didn’t make it hurt less.
“Excuse me, Cassidy,” Dalton chuckles with a hint of a mocking tone, “I can speak for myself, darling. No need to interrupt.”
In just that moment, Harry felt himself push against Cassidy’s arm that had been subtly holding him back with no force other than the small barrier of her shoulder. The small push sent Cassidy off balance, which in turn allowed the slosh of wine to knock around her glass.
“And who are you to talk to her like that?” Harry questioned; his eyes now centered on Dalton as his brow knit together. “Fuck off with that, will you?”
“Bloody hell,” Cassidy gasped out, her eyes dropping to the small amount of wine that covered the hardwood floor underneath them—small droplets of the red wine were coating the bottom of her dress; only enough for her to notice, really, but her eyes narrowed at the floor.
Harry and Dalton both turned to her then, Harry’s eyes dropping to the way that she held her dress up to get a bit of a better glimpse of the stain.
“Oh, fuck, Cass. I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to do that. Hey, I’ll clean it up—” Harry moves towards her, his hand holding at her bicep to help keep her balance.
“Good work, mate.” Dalton eyed Harry, who felt the need to clench his fists again. He did so rather quickly, trying to get the feeling of anger to subside for the moment so that he could focus on Cassidy in the moment.
“It’s fine—really, I just want to make sure it doesn’t stain. I—let me go back to my room, I think I have a stain stick.” She lifts her head to look at before she starts to move out of the small space.
“Let me help,” Harry offers, starting to follow behind her. It feels like an opportunity to take—the two of them alone for just a moment so that he can gauge how she’s really feeling about Dalton and this whole situation. The first few minutes of him have Harry already written off, and he knows the type of person she needs to be with should never be one to talk over her.
“No—Harry, it’s okay, I’ve got it.” She says quickly before she feels Dalton’s hand on her, as if to help guide her.
“I can help, darling.” He tells her, “Don’t worry about it. We can buy you a new one, if it’s too bad.”
Harry rolls his eyes and practically gags at the way he speaks to her. As if Cassidy couldn’t buy her own, for herself. He watches as he feels that Cassidy may be a bit overwhelmed by the two of them staring at her, knowing that they’re both fighting for her attention and affection.
The look on her face suggests as such before she look at Harry and blinks a few times, noticing that he had started to back off a bit. Not that he really wanted to, but knowing her, she didn’t want all the attention on her at once.
Harry downed the rest of the champagne, leaving the flute on a small table before Cassidy knit her brows and shook her head. “Actually, Harry— can you help? Your mum’s stain trick always seems to work. I can’t remember, though.”
His eyes float to Dalton who seems a bit taken aback by her push to have Harry go up to her room with her instead.
Harry nods a few times, watching as Dalton goes to speak, but Cassidy reassures him. “I’ll be right back, okay? We won’t be long.” She hands the man her wine glass, only a quarter full now, as most of it had landed on the sandy wood floors.
It’s then that the two of them take off towards the elevator. Cassidy has a bit of a stomp in her step, almost like she’s making sure that her and Harry aren’t in direct line so he can’t speak to her. The fits of anger that bubble in her chest is unexplained as she goes to press the elevator button to go upwards. Her arms crossed over her chest as she stares at the way that the light changes to go upwards.
“I can’t believe you’d do this to me.” Cassidy speaks out, a bit quietly as if to just think her thoughts—not say them outwardly.
“C’mon, Cass, he's got the ego of a narcissist and the smile of a Kennedy, you really think a guy like this could be the love of your life? Honestly.” Harry hounded her as they entered the elevator. He reached for the button, but Cassidy was already there, pressing three.
“That's not fair, Harry, you don't know him.” She settled against the wall as she stared at the ceiling, feeling the movement before she held onto the railing behind her. “He’s extremely smart, he’s confident—he knows what he wants. Which I think you and him may not agree on.”
Harry stayed quiet for a moment before he looked back at her, knowing she wouldn’t look at him—but knowing that he had to say the words to her.
“But I know you.”
Cassidy shakes her head as if she’d heard that from him before. Something about the mixture of the two men felt familiar with many of the guys she had brought home, or brought to meet Harry, really. She couldn’t figure out if he just couldn’t understand that she was dating this guy—not just sleeping with him. They were forming a connection, but maybe Harry didn’t understand that.
Harry didn’t understand the concept of falling in love was possible, probably because she had never seen that happening. She had never seen Harry madly in love with someone; never seen his heart broken before. She didn’t know if that was a red flag or if that was a person choice that he didn’t allow for himself.
Either way, she wasn’t going to let him ruin her chances at finding it—no matter what his personal opinions were.
“So, why are you putting me through this? C’mon, no one is ever good enough for you. I never said I was going to marry the guy!”
The shuffle of them towards the door to the hotel room increases as Cassidy throws the key against the electronic pad to open the door. Harry follows in quickly behind as she throws her shoes off. Harry makes sure to avoid tripping and falling over them but knows diligently that she takes her shoes off every time she walks through her door—without fail.
He knew that.
“But why waste your time if you won't spend your life with him?” Harry questions, turning on the light in the foyer of the small room that Cassidy and Dalton were sharing. Harry’s eyes tried not to wander as he saw the unfamiliarity of the dark navy suitcase on the floor next to the TV.
“I didn’t say that I wouldn’t,” Cass answers a bit with a huff as she rustles through her own suitcase to try to find the detergent stick, she had forgotten to throw in her bag, “All I said was I wasn't sure if I would, maybe I will! Also, I can throw that question right back at you, Mr. One-and-Done.”
Harry stands with his hands in his pockets as he knits his brows together at her answer.
“I just don’t think he’s the one, Cass. That’s all I said. You don’t have to insult me, too.”
“No, Harry, that’s not all you said,” She retorts, “You rolled your eyes, you were a bit disrespectful, you—you started like,” She scrunches her nose when she comes back with the detergent stick in his hand as she sits on the edge of the bed. “You were like puffing your chest at him or something—like you were trying to prove a point. Just because he doesn’t share the same opinion as you, doesn’t mean he’s wrong, you know?”
Harry pursed his lips as she had walked by him, feeling that her entrance into the room gave him permission to follow. He didn’t want to pry into her life if he wasn’t invited to.
“I was not puffing my chest at him, that’s ridiculous.”
He took a seat next to her on the bed as she pulled the long dress up just to her knee to try and rub the stain stick over the red wine stain before she dropped the fabric in her lap.
“Yes, you were,” She tells him, “You do that whenever a guy gets too close, like you’re trying to scare them off or something, and it’s bullshit because you don’t even give them a chance.”
“Why would I give them a chance when I can obviously tell that they’re not good for you?”
Cassidy dropped the dress fabric in her lap as she sighed a bit louder, very obviously done with the back and forth where no one would win. Her head turned towards Harry, sitting next to her now. The way that her throat tightened when their eyes met almost immediately threatened her composure.
“You never give them a chance, Harry,” She tells him with honesty in her tone; wanting him to listen to her like he had never listened before. She knew that he was hard-headed, stubborn to say the least. But she knew that when he really knew she was serious, he would back down. “I just want to make this work, okay? He’s a good guy—I promise, he is. And he would make my life comfortable. He’s looking for a wife, a family. He’s looking to settle down. We’re thirty, Harry—I want to have these commitments, even if you don’t.”
“I don’t doubt he’s a good guy, Cass—really, I—” He stops himself as he thinks of all the people he’s made promise’s too over the years, over various occasions, and conversations that he would think back to whenever he caught a glimpse of the green eyes that laid on his now.
Her mum, Barbara. Her younger brother, Antonio. Her best girlfriend from uni, Annabelle.
But her dad, Tony, was the most important for him to honor—considering he knew that he left the planet wanting Cassidy to be in the best hands; he had gotten confirmation from Harry in their last conversation that he would never let someone hurt her. And was loved, there was a guarantee that she would be loved and cherished until the end of time.
There were people in her life that had always looked at Harry as a guide, whether they meant anything by it, but they knew that Harry knew Cassidy better than anyone in the entire world. He had known every detail of her life for the twenty-some years that they had been the best of friends.
But it had always just been there– the best of friends. Saying anything different could change the whole dynamic of what that was.
“What is it? Why do you always do this to me?”
“Why do I always do this to you?” Harry questioned, setting Cassidy back a bit. She stared at him before she felt the way that their connection seemed to have a sense of distance between them. “Cassy, I thought we were going to have a weekend just the two of us. Just like we had been talking about—you know? We haven’t seen each other in so long, we haven’t spent any time together recently. You’re right—we’re thirty now. Life is going to change, but I wanted to have at least one more time where it would just be the two of us to spend laughing and making fun of people like Walton.”
Cassidy fought so hard to not smile at the name Harry gave her date, “Fuck off, you know it’s Dalton.”
“Cass, it doesn’t matter what his name is.” Harry grumbled, rolling his eyes, “What matters is that you always do this to me. You always insert this jackass as if to push him in my face and practically tease me with it. And what’s with all the jokes about me being exclusive?”
Cassidy feels her shoulders deflate, her eyes batting a few times before she shakes her head. “I just want you to find the right person, too, and maybe that would make you back from me and my choices just a bit. You think that I would treat a girl you dated like that? You think I would sit there and puff out my chest and try to make my boobs look bigger to make you look at me instead of her?”
Harry shrugs. “If you were jealous enough, I’d hope you would.” He goes to say something else but quickly shakes his head as if to not speak too much.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Cassidy tells him, her eyes giving a small up and down motion as she realizes how much space was between them now.
Harry stands up, his hands moving through his hair in a frustrated motion before he goes to stand in front of her at the end of the bed. “Don’t you get it? Don’t you see it? Just because I’m the one with the artistic eye doesn’t mean that I’m the only one who can see art, Cass. You know when we go to the galleries in new cities we travel to, and I really make you look at them? You glance at them and are like, ‘that’s a nice one’ or ‘that’s pretty’. No, I really want you to look at it—and then sometimes it makes you emotional because you can really see the way that the artist has manipulated his wrists to make the kinds of strokes that the brushwork is, or the way that the divot in the sculpture is supposed to look like it’s a flaw, but it’s intentional? And that what you didn’t see before, because you were just glancing, is really there all the time?”
Cassidy looked at Harry who was standing in front of her, his eyebrows knit and his face practically begging for her to see him. He’s begging her to recognize this game that he had been playing wasn’t a game at all, it was just a matter of time. It was a matter of wanting her to see what they could be so that he didn’t have to spell it out.
He didn’t want to push her, but he wanted her to see it for herself. First and foremost, he wanted her to want it as much as he had.
“All I’m seeing is that you’re painting me out to be the bad guy here. All you do cycle through girls like a manic—you’re sleeping with one, you’re stringing one along. You think that’s supposed to entice me?” She asks quaintly, a bit quietly as she shakes her head, looking at Harry who seems to be on the verge of a mental breakdown.
He shuts his eyes, shaking his head as he takes in a deep breath to try and get to a level of calmness that fits his demeaner.  
“No, Cass! I just wanted you to see how in love with you I am!” The words that leave his mouth are practically begging, but they leave a sour silence in the room as Cassidy is taken by the tone Harry’s voice; his hands resting on his hips as he finishes the pacing he had been doing.
“Cassidy,” Harry swallowed down the lump that had been sitting in his throat, his voice practically faltering as he shook his head, trying so badly to get through to the words he had been looking for. “I’ve been in love with you my entire life. They were never there to stay, okay? That’s why I didn’t look for exclusivity— it was never theirs. I was saving every ounce of my love and my time and my affection for you, and you never reached out to take any of it.”
Her silence hits her for a moment as she sits with her wine-stained dress in her lap on the white, linen sheets before she watches the man in front of her professing all the love and needs to her. She doesn’t feel like she can speak, but her eyes drift down to her lap as she feels all the sudden unable to find the words at all.
“Look—I’m sorry, I—I just can’t see you being with someone like this. And it physically hurts me to see you heartbroken when I know,” Harry pulls his lips into his mouth as he puts his hands on his hips, “I know that guy is going to fucking annihilate you. You’re going to fall in love with him, and he’s going to take it all and run with it. And there I’ll be, standing there, waiting for you to realize what’s been waiting for you this entire time. It’s just bound to happen.”
Cassidy sits with her hands in her lap, chewing on her lip as she feels the threatening of tears to spill from her eyes. She doesn’t understand the overwhelming feeling of the man’s words as she shakes her head, a sad chuckle leaving her throat as she looks up at him.
“He ordered me a pinot noir tonight,” She nods, “Told me that it was the best wine he’d ever had before.”
“Yeah, ‘cause he doesn’t know that you exclusively drink Cab Sav from a box, no matter what, unless you’re celebrating something big, then it’s a discounted bottle of Dom Perignon from that Lombardi’s store down from your flat,” Harry tells her with a scoff, almost like it had been a test to prove that he knew her better than anyone in the world did.
And Cassidy knew that he did, but the validation that he showed only made her tear fall with the knowledge that he didn’t just listen—he remembered, he supplied this vision of her and this want for her that didn’t come with rules or expectations.
Harry just saw her.
And in a world where you want to be seen, Cassidy just fought to be glanced at. She fought for the spot in someone’s eye, but when she thought that Harry only had eyes for art, she couldn’t have imagined what he had seen in her this entire time.
“Yeah,” Cass nodded, “That’s what I thought you’d say.”
Harry shook his head, looking at the ground as he started to feeling heaps of embarrassment but knowing that the awkward silence in the room was there to stay for a few more minutes at least. “I’d never order you a fucking pinot noir.”
Cassidy nods a few more times before she looks at the stains on the dress, knowing that it’s stained for good. That the stain stick won’t work anymore but knowing that it’s sometimes okay to have something marked, in the case that you wanted it to stick around forever.
Her heart felt like it had been borrowed and bruised but watching as Harry stared down at her only made it flutter as if trying to come back from the dead.
There were three things that Cassidy had been looking forward to this week—when she had originally booked the trip, that is.
One of them was to have a large glass of Cab Sav and sit on the balcony with Harry and laugh at the way that the people were pummeled by the waves; they always got too brave and then would be smashed down by the force of the water.
The second was to be able to dance. The dancing at the weddings always made her feel like she had been letting go of every ounce of worry and detrimental work email that she had received since the last time she was dancing at a wedding. It usually felt like a cleanse.
The third was to watch people fall in love. To watch people and see that their forever was right in front of their eyes and to confirm every moment of it with vows and unspeakable glances that felt like a bound contractual agreement.
As Cassidy stood in front of Harry now, her dress a mess of stain and wet, detergent marks, her eyes searched his for a moment before she looked up at him, with a different set of eyes, this time.
They were colored in a way that felt extraordinarily bright, like she had woken up from the darkest slumber. The mask of uncertainty was laying on the floor as she felt his hands lift her jaw to look at him, his feet taking a step forward.
“I think they say this at weddings,” He squinted at her, the line of a smirk coating his face as he kept his words quiet. Her hand moved up to hold his wrist as she bit on her lip softly, feeling the way that their lips tried to find one another—slow, encapsulated by an intense amount of tension, “’Speak now, or forever hold your peace’?”
The silence between them spoke for itself.
Harry pulled her forward, not rushed, but certainly not waiting a second longer. His lips attached to hers in a way that felt every single day of the last twenty years; the kiss that could have lasted the rest of his life without a doubt in his mind.
It was what was bound to happen all along; there just had to be a few frogs before the real prince revealed himself.
Well, that’s what Harry told himself, anyways. Cassidy would just roll her eyes, but knew that at the end of the day, it had always been him.
Exclusively him.
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paradiseprincesss · 4 months ago
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i want you | jonathan crane
wrote this because i see a lot of tropes where the reader is innocent or never really had a boyfriend before...but what if the reader has an extensive list of ex's? then what? i had to write it lol this was an attempt to make MYSELF feel better about that!!
summary: jonathan wants to show you how devoted he is to you, regardless of how rocky your past relationships (and trust me, there were a handful) have been.
warnings: smut, p in v, swearing, kissing, a smidge of body worshipping cus i discovered how much i like it lol, overall adult content lol, MDNI 18+ ONLY
word count: 2k
masterlist
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don’t we all come with some baggage? yes — the answer is yes. 
you clung onto jonathan’s arm, walking right by his side as he talked to a plethora of socialites. tonight, you and him were attending a charity gala hosted at wayne manor for publicity reasons. i mean, when you’re dating one of the most notoriously successful men of gotham, it was expected. 
jonathan knew that you loved him; you made that abundantly clear every chance you got. tonight, however, jonathan had lost count of the number of men who’d approached you.
normally, he wouldn’t care — this wasn’t unusual by any means. jonathan knew that having a girlfriend as beautiful as you came with strings attached. the strings being men drooling over you everywhere you went, but this was different.
tonight, jonathan was feeling a little jealous. 
it turned out that the majority of the men that had approached you tonight had a past with you — as in a romantic past. 
“it’s so good to see you!” 
“you look stunning like always.” 
“how have you been these days?” 
“remember when we—“
jonathan had enough of it, but alas, he had to pretend that he didn’t care. he had to play the role of the loving boyfriend — which he was, don’t get me wrong, but he also wanted to dose every man who spoke to you with an extra concentrated version of his fear toxin. 
the night of socializing and mingling (and one too many glasses of champagne) had eventually come to an end, and you were exhausted by the time you got home with jonathan.
“you’re certainly popular.” jonathan said as the two of you walked through your shared apartment's front door. 
“i— what?” you said back in confusion. glancing over at jonathan, you saw that he looked a little irritated — jaw clenched and all. 
“all those guys,” jonathan clarified as he took his glasses off, “i didn’t know you’d dated so…many people before me.” 
you sighed and walked over to him, running your hand up and down his bicep. “you’ve never brought this up to me before, jonathan. i wish you’d said something sooner—“
“usually i wouldn’t be so agitated about it, but i just— you had a history with a handful of the men there.” he interrupted, clearly upset. “you never told me.” 
“i didn’t think i needed to,” you sighed, “and i’m sorry.” 
your dating history wasn’t exactly a clean slate, but it wasn’t that bad — there was just a few extra names on your metaphorical list than most people had. you were young and having fun, plus commitment wasn’t exactly on your mind until you’d met jonathan.
in all honesty, it was a good thing — you’d never been interested in being serious with anybody until jonathan. usually, you were the first to pack your bags and run; leaving a trail of broken hearts behind you before moving onto the next like spitfire.
and sure, you may have been what some would call a  “serial heartbreaker” before jonathan, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t change. you liked your options — was that so wrong? 
well, two is company and three is a crowd — as they say. 
as for every man you’ve dated, you’d never really been sure of someone before — except jonathan. you were sure he was the one, the man you’d spend the rest of eternity with. 
“am i just another guy to you?” jonathan suddenly asked rather bitterly, completely catching you off guard. 
“what? no,” you shook your head, “god, no. you— you’re the first guy i’ve ever been so sure about.” 
“am i, though?”
“i love you, jonathan. you know i do.” you insisted, tugging at his arm while he remained stoic. “you’re the first man i've ever loved.”
though he hated to admit it — he got jealous sometimes. he would never say it aloud, but when your ex’s had approached you and struck up a conversation, he was borderline livid. it took an immense amount of self-control for him to not strangle any of them upon sight, if he was being honest.
and just between you and me, he may have been feeling a little insecure, too. 
“i’m still trying to break some habits.” you said softly, looking up at him with a gentle gaze. “i’m not perfect, but—“ 
“i’m being ridiculous.” he interrupted, taking your hand in his. “i’m sorry, darling. i’m acting immaturely, i just felt…inadequate for a moment.”
“you don’t have to try and rationalize anything with me.” you assure him softly. “whether or not you stay or turn and walk away, the way i feel will never change. i want you — and only you.” 
but isn’t that the beautiful thing about baggage? you can learn to unpack it — together.
“you’re heavenly,” jonathan sighed, “i love you and your past, your flaws, all of it. you’re so perfectly…you.”
though you mentioned that he didn’t have to rationalize his actions with you — he was a psychiatrist, so naturally, he did. he knew he was being immature, letting your past bite him like that; it was silly. he knew he was lucky that you were so understanding. 
he pulled you into the bedroom, softly closing the door behind him. “i want to show you just how much i love you — worship you.” he whispered lowly. “lay back on the bed for me, beautiful.” 
you do as you’re told, scrambling to get onto the bed. “i’d do anything for you,” he breathed, “i hardly think i deserve someone as perfect as you, darling.” 
you let out a shaky breath as your boyfriend helped you out of your garment, his hands immediately going to paw at your breasts — since you didn’t wear a bra tonight with your dress. 
a soft moan left your mouth as your head dropped backwards. jonathan swore he saw stars at just the sounds of your pleasure. he attached his mouth to one of your nipples, running his tongue on the hard bud gently as his fingers tweaked the other one. 
“o-oh.” you breathed out, chest heaving as his tongue flicked over the sensitive bud. “jonathan…”
“mm.” he hummed softly, mouth still attached to your breast. you let a few more moans slip out, whispering his name softly as you felt yourself soak through your underwear. 
“perfect fucking tits,” he groaned, “i could do this all day long, darling.”
he moved over to your other breast, giving the other side the same treatment as you felt yourself dripping, cunt clenching around nothing. once he decided that he’d teased you enough, he finally started to undress, slowly undoing his belt buckle.
you were desperate at this point, your cunt needing to be filled and fucked by jonathan’s thick cock. he seemed to sense your neediness though (it’s not like you were being coy by any means), and he took his cock out. 
it sprung out against his stomach, the tip flushed pink and sticky with pre-cum. your mouth watered at the sight as your back arched slightly off the bed. you looked up at him with pleading eyes, and he looked back at you with the same intensity.
those impossibly blue eyes of his turned you to putty within seconds, melting in his grasp.
jonathan stroked his cock a few times before lining himself with your sticky folds, teasing you with the tip as you whined. before you had the chance to get mouthy with him though, he pushed himself into your sopping cunt, stretching you out deliciously. 
you let out a guttural moan, and once he had bottomed out inside your cunt, his hand snaked down to play with your clit. he started to rut his hips against yours quickly, brows furrowed in concentration as his dark hair was slightly tousled. 
“f-fuck! y-yes, jonathan—” you mewled, mouth hanging open as he plowed into your soaked cunt. 
“you’re so heavenly,” he breathed, thrusting faster, “fuck, so tight — i could watch you like this forever.” 
suddenly, he hoisted your leg over his shoulder, causing the wind to get knocked out of you as he fucked you harder than before. the new angle gave him access to the deepest parts of your dripping hole, and he watched you as your head fell back onto the pillows again.
jonathan could watch this play on a loop endlessly — the view of his perfect girl losing herself in the pleasure that he was bringing her. god, it was a dream come true, getting to have you all to himself. 
looks like a certain doctor managed to score big time, hm?
“i love this pretty pussy.” jonathan growled through gritted teeth. “all mine — m’so fucking lucky, fuuuck. love you.”
“m-mmhm! a-all yours,” you mindlessly babbled out, cunt clenching around jonathan’s length, “always.”
“that’s right angel, nobody can fuck you the way i do.” he said in a sultry tone, his fingers pressed up against your bundle of nerves as you approached your release quickly. “shit, keep clenching my cock like that—”
“y-yes!” you wailed, “i’m co–ming!”
jonathan moaned as he felt you cream his thick cock, watching your face scrunched in pleasure — there was something so beautiful about it. you, his darling girl, drenching him as he brought you to the highest peaks of pleasure. 
“gorgeous,” he groaned softly, “absolute fucking perfection — that’s, fuuuck, that’s what you are, my love. perfection.” 
the praise and compliments had you blushing, your cheeks heating up as he continued to ram into your hole mercilessly. sure, he was sweet during sex but he was basically worshiping you tonight in bed; not that you were complaining by any means, though.
“j-jon!” you squeaked out, getting overstimulated quickly as his hand continued to rub your clit. “i-i— ugh!”
“gon’ cum, fuck — gonna fill you up, my goddess.” he groaned, and you opened your eyes to look up at him in surprise as the words fell from his lips.
that was new. 
he rutted his hips into you a few more times harshly before he was slowing down, eventually coming to a stop as he buried his face into your neck. gently, you wrapped your arms around him, holding him close as hot ropes of cum painted your walls white. 
the two of you were silent for a moment, just basking in the silence peacefully. after a minute or two, jonathan pulled out, causing you to wince. 
“sorry, angel,” he whispered softly, “i know, baby. i know.” 
once his softening cock was out of you, he helped you get cleaned up as his cum started to seep from your spent hole. the aftercare with jonathan was always sweet — he was a loving man, truly. taking care of you every chance he got. 
“feeling extra affectionate today, hey?” you teased lightheartedly, making him smile softly at you as he wiped his cum up from around your thighs.
“just love you, s’all.” he said, pressing a soft kiss to your lips as he tossed the towel aside. 
“i love you too,” you assured him, “more than anything.” 
he came to lay down beside you in your shared bed, pulling you close as he placed a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “i just can't believe you’re all mine,” he sighed, “m’blessed.” 
“so you’ve said,” you giggled.
“did you mean what you said earlier?”
“about what?”
jonathan looked over at you, his hand gently holding yours. his eyes were full of love, admiring your every feature as he smiled softly. “when you said your feelings would never change.” he clarified. “did you mean it?”
“yes,” you said without hesitation, “i want you — you and only you.” 
“...i got jealous, to be honest.” he confessed with a chuckle, shaking his head. “i know i have no reason to be, but i also know how badly other guys wish to call you theirs.” 
“i could tell, you weren’t exactly hiding it very well.” you told him, snuggling into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you, much tighter this time. he held onto you as if he was afraid to let go — as if you’d ever stray from him. “nothing will change the way i feel about you.” 
“good,” he said softly, “because no matter who you’ve dated, or who you have a past with, you’re mine now — and that’s all that’ll ever matter to me.” 
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mitsua · 6 days ago
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Silvery orb, I love his golden orbs
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Warnings: none Genre: slight angst to fluff
Series: Obey me! SWD? Words' count: 0.71k
Pairing: Mammon × GN! Y/N
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You've felt very uncomfortable since you were brought by force to the Devildom. Never expecting to meet angels and demons and not just any sort of demons or angels—but some are the ones that are biblically spoken of.
Some were very kind towards you while some weren't, as in every new classroom each new scholar year. By your age, you've come to terms with not getting along with everyone and just ignored them.
Not like you weren't afraid enough to even talk to them anyway.
Excepting the one who has been in charge of you since the beginning by Lucifer—the oldest of the brothers.
Mammon.
Just as you weren't expecting to meet demons and angels, you weren't expecting to befriend one. But here you are—laughing your ass off as Mammon shows you the latest scam he's gotten involved in.
There you are—feeling anger for him when he's unable to stand up for himself when his brothers talk badly about him.
There you were—taking care of him after his older brother had beaten him down for breaking the rules once more.
You couldn't really recall how many days or nights you've spent doing it anymore—not like there was any sun to call day.
You've craved to take Mammon with you to where you used to live before this cursed place and never come back again.
You knew he wouldn't accept because as much as he loves you and has told you so after building a romantic relation with you—you see how much he loves his brothers as well.
So you propose him to visit the human world with you, just for a day and a night.
You're aware Mammon has visited it hundreds of times, but you've never gone together as a couple.
You spent the day at your beach house, teaching Mammon about some human things that you'd sometimes only got to spoke about at the Devildom but weren't able to exactly show him how they function.
As the sunset came, you finally went out of the house to bury your feet in sand and play in the sea—explaining him that at that hour you've got a secret spot for yourselves until the next evening came.
So you stand there, peacefully watching the big shiny circle at the horizon come down and let the rising orb called moon bathe with its white, gentle light.
You missed this, Mammon could see it. The nostalgia in your eyes was too much to hide and it made his heart hurt.
You've spoken about moving to the human world with such an excitement that he's never noticed he's done that when giving you rational arguments to stay with his brothers.
—You know what Mammon?—you talked after so long, gusts of wind hitting your face and making your hair go along with it,—after today I've realized two things will forever stay the same for me.
Mammon gulped, awaiting for you to tell him that you want to stay in your world and that you're better off without each other. He of course didn't want any of that, but his nerves were starting to get into the surface just as the dolphin you watched hours ago jumping and splashing around.
He stayed silent, rather letting you break the subtle silence between you two and the uproar of boats passing ever so far,—I love you and after sunlit days, rises the moon in here.
You glanced at him,—I'll be wherever you want to be—. You clarified after noticing the hint of confusion on his furrowing brows, laughing softly.
Mammon had never felt so tranquil than after hearing you say that and seeing your alluring smile. He hugged you tightly and you could swear you heard him sniffle on your shoulder.
—Oh MC, I've also accepted something,—he revealed, keeping his hands on your shoulders to look you in the eyes. —You're the one I want to spend my life with, and if that comes with us having to move from the HoL, I'll go wherever you are too—.
Such fools in love you two were, weren't you?
But finally, you've come to an agreement to spend time wherever you want to that you both feel comfortable in.
—I love you to the moon and back—.
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Tried out a new format!
All writings' rights reserved © 2024 Mitsua. (Credit to the respective owners of the pictures and tagged anime character.) ⌇ my navigation!
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kaiser1ns · 3 months ago
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KIKI'S CHARACTER ANALYSIS ON TAKIISHI CHIKA
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BEFORE PROCEEDING TO READ i want to clarify that this is my opinion and my take on his character before we get to know more about him in the manga. i know that the way i write about him is not what he really is, and that can cause conflicts but i am trying my best! contains small spoilers ahead! anyway hope you will enjoy!
Written on August 9th 2024. Posted on August 10th 2024. Edited on
Takiishi Chika is expressive only when he wants to be, but most of the time he is with that bored expression making it look like he is some kind of robot or haunted doll. As already known his face changes when he feels anger or when he fights with someone at his level or higher, it's when he gets happy and excited, because there is someone who will not bore him and keep up with the adrenaline.
He will not listen to anyone in whom he finds no interest. People can talk to him, but he will pay no attention to them. He will listen, catch a sentence here and there, and when someone mentions something that intrudes on him, he will listen without hesitation wanting to know more.
Strikes me as a type who is also very observant. Not only in a fight but when around people in a calm setting. Also intelligent, may not show it because he acts on impulse but everything is calculated.
Likes to light up fireworks when there's nothing better to do or people to fight. It's nice and something he can do on his own.
He likes to sit on the rooftop of buildings and look down on everything and everyone, either enjoying the view or the feeling of power. We again don't know why. But in Chapter 134: The Moment Longed For, when Endo Yamato receives a punch to his face because he stopped Chika's sudden charge at Umeniya, the conversation goes as such "But hey, Umemiya told us to go to the roof with him. It's been ages since we have been there. You like the roof don't you?" and then Chika freezes agreeing with what Edno said "Right. That's true." Then he walks past Umemiya telling him to go there, leaving everyone behind.
The question here is why Chika likes roofs so much, and what exactly does Furin's rooftop that Umemiya wants to show him? My mind directly goes to the garden. Is it to see one's growth despite its roots? What if Chika used to take care of the garden too? I know, it's a laughable idea and seems impossible but what if? So many questions, but not many answers. This is normal, seeing as how their battle is just beginning and the characters' internal and external conflicts are yet to emerge.
As stated, he is violent and short-tempered, he would never let anyone or anything block him from doing what he wants, it doesn't matter if it was a friend or an enemy. He is capable of destroying everything in his path. But personally, I think he won't hit someone if there's no reason to or if he isn't provoked in some way.
He doesn't care about the others, he only cares for himself and his enjoyment.
Of course, he knows many people and many people know him. But he isn't close with anyone besides Endo Yamato, even if they are childhood friends and their friendship is weird, Chika just lets Endo do whatever he wants — buy him clothes, paint his nails, find him opponents. He probably never asked for him to do such things but Chika knows how devoted the tattooed fool is to him, and so he played along. That leads me to a theory that he was spoiled as a child, that's why he doesn't question Endo, because he is used to getting what he wants and if something goes in his way, he will eliminate it.
Endo stated that Takiishi "began to fizzle out when he left Furin" meaning he was slowly losing his spark and maybe fighting out of boredom and not excitement. Chika is "The Strongest Man in Furin History". Probably in his first year, there wasn't anyone worthy enough to keep up with his pace and cause that fervor to ignite his flames.
Two years later when he dropped out of Furin Highschool he became a shadow and it was a few in the school who knew the truth about him, including Umemiya, the person Chika probably wanted to fight from the start.
In Chapter 142: Revelation, we see Takiishi in Endo's memories, and he has always been so aggressive towards the world, but unfortunately, we still don't know the reason why — perhaps a family conflict that indicates him being abused as a child; himself being bullied and then turning into a bully, or he was a prodigy too doing everything before other kids his age making him develop faster and he took advantage of that. So many theories. Hope we know in the future! [this part will be edited once his backstory is out]
God complex which may also be associated with mania or a superiority complex. Someone with a god complex may exhibit no regard for the conventions and demands of society and may request special consideration or privileges. GD is linked to Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) with a diminished ability to empathize with other people's feelings. Even tho we don't see Takiishi being 'in love' with himself, he only cares about himself, and thus I will say he is probably narcissistic but not to such an extent.
But here I think the right word which should be used is Egoist — a self-centered, selfish person or arrogantly conceited person. Egoism comes in different forms as there are several reasons as to why someone may act in their own self-interest, such as ethics or rationality. The three main types of egoism are physical egoism, ethical egoism and rational egoism.
1. Physical Egoism
This type of egoism refers to the basic, instinctual drive for self-preservation and personal survival. It is often associated with natural instincts and physical needs, such as hunger, thirst, and the avoidance of pain. Physical egoism emphasizes the inherent tendency of living beings to prioritize their own physical well-being and survival above all else. In this view, self-interest is rooted in biological imperatives.
2. Ethical Egoism
Ethical egoism is a normative theory that suggests some individuals act in their own self-interest. It is a prescriptive approach, meaning it provides guidance on how people should behave. Ethical egoism posits that morally right actions are those that maximize one's own welfare. Unlike physical egoism, which is based on natural instincts, ethical egoism is a philosophical stance arguing that self-interest should be the guiding principle of moral decision-making.
3. Rational Egoism
Rational egoism posits that it is rational for individuals to act in their own self-interest because doing so leads to the best outcomes for themselves. This form of egoism is based on the idea that reason, rather than mere instinct or moral obligation, should guide self-interested behavior. Rational egoism suggests that acting in one's own long-term interest is not only logical but also the most reasonable course of action for achieving happiness and success. It often involves considering the consequences of actions and making choices that best serve one's goals in a rational, calculated manner.
In conclusion:
Takiishi Chika is impulsive, violent, and primarily concerned with his own physical needs and desires, aligning most closely with physical egoism. He doesn't seem to consider the long-term consequences of his actions, nor does he follow a moral code that dictates acting in his self-interest in a socially constructive way, which would be characteristic of ethical or rational egoism.
The behavior could be indicative of several potential mental health conditions or personality disorders, but it's important to note that diagnosing someone, especially when a real person requires a qualified mental health professional. However, I am not a professional and I am doing this only for my entertainment in the fictional world. There are a few possibilities that might align with the characteristics of Takiishi Chika.
1. Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD):
Individuals with ASPD often exhibit a disregard for the rights of others, lack of empathy, and can be prone to aggressive, violent behavior. They may engage in fights, show little concern for the safety or feelings of others, and may be manipulative or deceitful.
2. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD):
While not always violent, people with BPD may experience intense emotional reactions, including anger and aggression. They can also have a pattern of unstable relationships, self-harming behaviors, and fear of abandonment, which might be linked to masochistic tendencies.
3. Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED):
This disorder is characterized by sudden, explosive outbursts of anger or violence that are disproportionate to the situation. The person might feel a sense of relief after the outburst but may also feel remorse or regret later.
4. Sadistic Personality Disorder:
Although not recognized in the DSM-5, some traits could align with what was previously considered Sadistic Personality Disorder. This involves deriving pleasure from the suffering of others, which could explain sadistic tendencies.
Chika's behaviour is explosive or volatile sadism. This type of sadism is characterized by sudden outbursts of aggression and violence, often triggered by frustration or when the person feels someone is in their way. Individuals with this type of sadism tend to lack empathy, and their violent behavior can be unpredictable and intense.
In addition, his potential sadomasochistic tendencies suggest he might derive some pleasure from both inflicting pain on others (sadism) and experiencing pain themselves (masochism). This combination can make his behavior particularly volatile, as he may be drawn to situations that allows him to express both these desires.
5. Conduct Disorder (in younger individuals):
If the individual is younger, this could be a sign of Conduct Disorder, characterized by aggressive behavior, a lack of empathy, and a disregard for rules or the rights of others. This condition in youth can sometimes progress to Antisocial Personality Disorder in adulthood.
6. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD):
While not typically associated with overt physical violence, individuals with NPD can display aggression when their ego is threatened. They may lack empathy and be manipulative or exploitative in relationships, only caring about others when it benefits them.
7. Psychopathy:
A more severe form of ASPD, psychopathy involves a profound lack of empathy, superficial charm, and often a tendency toward manipulative and violent behavior. Sadistic tendencies may also be present.
8. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD):
Individuals with PTSD may experience anger as a response to trauma reminders or as part of the hyperarousal symptoms. Irritability and angry outbursts. Feeling constantly on edge or easily startled.
PTSD develops after exposure to a traumatic event, and anger can be a coping mechanism or reaction to perceived threats.
9. Trauma and Childhood Experiences:
Anger issues can also stem from unresolved trauma, especially if it occurred during childhood. People who have experienced abuse, neglect, or abandonment may develop anger as a defense mechanism. Difficulty trusting others, leading to anger in relationships. Feeling easily threatened or provoked. Chronic irritability or anger without a clear cause.
This is all I can think of when I did my research. Chika definitely has something traumatic happened to him or he was someone's trauma.
But there can be a scenario with him just being born like that even if love and kindness were shown to him. We will know more once Satoru Nii drops his full backstory like he did with Endo and Umemiya.
TAKIISHI CHIKA'S CHARACTER IN MY WRITING STYLE
I don't want to make him too out of character for the sake of the people who like or will like him, as I want them to have the best experience while reading any of my works that includes him.
In many of my drabbles readers will get to see him being more soft towards the female character or his girlfriend as stated in the most scenarios. He is being vulnerable towards you. It is simply the way I imagine him when he gets to like someone who catches his attention: he wants to know everything, is being possessive, is more expressive, making space in his heart only for you, though his ego and pride would no go down but instead they will go up because he has something the others don't.
As I stated earlier, he will not listen or look at anyone in whom he finds no interest. That being said, and as a cliché as it sounds, you are different, he wants to have you to either a) play with you until you break or b) learn about the way you are making him feel, because his heartbeat only rises when he fights.
When Takiishi Chika learns to love, or at least tries, he realizes that he can tolerate people who get in his way, meaning he tolerates you and is extremely important for him to see you everyday. And if his nonchalant behaviour is due to a trauma, you are his free therapy.
I saw people who think he doesn't talk much, again he does, he chose to who, how and when. Even if it's one word, sentence or a punch, he will talk.
In my opinion the way he loves is unique, everyone has their own way to express their longing for the other. He doesn't know what love is, its a new term in his vocabulary, and you teach him the ways of being soft and tender.
He is protective of you, very fond by the way you show him how to do things and he acts on instinct. If he wants a kiss, he will get one no matter what. If he wants get intimate or just to initiate a physical touch, he without thinking twice would. Takiishi Chika is not a person who waits, unless necessary, because when he wants something he will make sure to have it. If he wants you he will get you. He is the living prime of "If he wanted, he would."
But then again he has another dark, manipulative and toxic side. Again he is not good or used to expressing his emotions that well, if he wanted to hurt you, unintentionally or not, he would. I know I'm repeating myself a lot with words, but it's true. Was it with a real or non-existent person, if they wanted to, they would do anything to or for you.
This is mostly what I have to say about him, in hopes of your understanding and if you got to the end of this long post, thank you! Takiishi Chika is not that complex of a character, he is pretty easy to understand in my opinion, as long you want to do it.
But it's my profile, my own way to express myself amd how i view a certain character. I would be happy if someone wants to discuss further issues with our blazing inferno Chika <3
And as the manga will continue and more will be understood, I will give it my best to describe and write not only about Chika, but also about all the other characters. I hope this was a hopeful guide to answer questions if you even had one.
Thank you Chika nation for the support, and thank you for reading and following through my writing journey! More is yet to come (⁠。⁠・⁠ω⁠・⁠。⁠)⁠ノ⁠♡
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