#never abt personal posts btw. or mutuals posts

[capricioussuns]

when im scrolling through tumblr i will be so bitchy and mean but then when i see bitchy mean tags im like 'hey...[subject matter] is trying its best okay...'

[piratebay]

forgot sm weirdo came after me in my inbox once when i called them hot in the tags after rbn a selfie (obv from a mutual anyway as i usually get content, it's not like i crawl the tags for that) and they were super mad like 'i gotta boyfriend' and i was like ok.... so i thought u were attractive... didn't mean i wanted anything idek u 😭 and blocked em lol

[gildedtragedies]

just sat on the ground with my best friend and my little sister passing a container of slime back and forth and talking shit about people from highschool for several hours i think this might be the definition of happiness actually

[tkbrokkoli]

been thinking abt... following... less ppl

[composing-the-future]

i hope clemm is doing ok, his blog doesnt seem to be there anymore

[seventh-district]

man. get ghosted once or twice and you’ll forever and ever feel like the most annoying, over-talkative, toxic sludge of a person that ever walked the earth

[garoujo]

saetoru is talking abt you on her private blog (@/clorindes) yuckkkkk

CW BULLYING, LITERALLY IMMATURE HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA, SUB POSTING.

hi nonnie, thank you for letting me know! since i’m leaving this blog & this platform for the foreseeable future i figured i might aswell get a few things off of my chest before i go. i apologise in advance for the vibes this post will probably bring, the discourse & the posts that will ofcourse follow, but i honestly i am not the first person to be targeted by this creator and i’m sure i won’t be the last considering the amount of creators that have been bullied off of this app by them.

first off i’ve had multiple blogs that would be considered bigger blogs such as @/hvnlydmn, @/atsymu + now this blog which is the biggest of all 3. i think there’s a sort of unspoken responsibility that comes with being a bigger blog which i know is no fun but it’s also because it can be super harmful on a site like this, when people weaponise their following.

on that note i’ll start this post by saying that i’ve known tee for probably around 3/4 years, maybe? we were mutuals on hvnlydmn & atsymu and we continued to talk on discord even when i was off of tumblr. i will honestly admit to this day i have never had a negative interaction with tee to my face and she was genuinely supportive of me during any discourse i was involved in. i am not some angel, i’ve had my fair share of crap on this app (of my own doing) but this post is not meant to come across like “oh she doesn’t like me so i’m calling her out” no. im sorry if this doesn’t line up with my brand and my ‘victim complex’ but i’m not gonna lie down and let someone on a power trip on a hobby app drag me through the mud.

first off i had began to get some off vibes from tee when i had started writing on garoujo, notably when i’d just hit my first milestone which was probably around 1k. during this i had decided to move my instagram theme from my main blog to my writing blog.

i’d noticed tee subposting (on main and on her personal blog which i followed at the time) about someone basically using the same theme as her, which after then clicking onto her blog i realised was an instagram theme. i didn’t think much of it, again me & tee were friends and she hadn’t came to me directly so ignored it. i was still a new blog and trying to solidly an aesthetic (before the beige lol) so i changed my theme / masterlists / layouts a lot.

a few more sub posts later i decided to message tee about it because with every thing i’d change / post on my blog, there always seemed to be another post. so i messaged her and got this response in: (i’ve blurred out my irl name btw) open up pics for convo!

so i let it slide, kept posting & that was that. probably a few days / a week later, tee had soft blocked me which then eventually led to me being hard blocked. i was upset ofcourse because i genuinely considered tee a good friend but i’ve always been a big advocate in controlling your space.

this was when, one of our mutuals in common (the first of many may i add) approached me on discord to say that just like now, i was being ripped to shreds on tee’s personal blog:

again i was notably upset about this because i was being accused of not only copying her theme but also her writing & masterlists, we did have a lot of mutuals in common so it was also upsetting knowing they would all be seeing these posts aswell. i allowed myself one sub post about “creating a narrative” because i was particularly frustrated but tee then also subposted about this, even though she had me blocked?

i would also like to say regarding our mutuals in common that this was not the first or last mutual to approach me regarding tee. i’ve had multiple people tell me that “they’re only mutuals with her because it would be more damaging not to be” “it’s easier to be on her side”. also i am not saying this is okay but i’ve had multiple of her current mutuals send me not only her posts, but screenshots of her private, personal instagram & also tell me about how all of them and their friends had a running joke / theory that tee made up her boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?) for attention.

regarding the accusations from tee i’d like to first comment on the instagram themes, again i had done an instagram theme on my main blog but it seemed to only be an issue when it was on my writing blog that was gaining traction. if the timing was off and it seemed like i copied her, i genuinely have nothing to say except it’s not the case— it’s instagram (which tee already admits she doesn’t own above) also the hanma writing? i’m still not 100% sure which drabbles she was referring to but i can only assume that 1. is when i posted a drabble about hanma fucking you outside of his subordinates house — this was a almost completely word by word rewrite of a suna drabble i done on my old blog @/atsymu i literally just changed the concept to fit tokyo revengers themes. i can post screenshots of this suna drabble also from my google docs dated February when i deactivated. the other one may have been some basic concept about him fucking you against the window.

she also mentions in the very first recent screenshot at the beginning of this post that i have apparently stolen concepts of fics / posts from her mutuals. what i want to say regarding this is, do you believe that i would have made it this far on stolen work? i don’t know any of the mutuals she’s referring to apart from 1 which i’ll get into. but every single accusation i’ve ever received has always come from someone associated or in contact with tee, she has always been at the root of it all but i have yet to receive a single anon or ask about me copying or taking inspiration from anyone’s work.

i know there was apparently a blog and an ex mutual of mine, who i had a lot of respect & time for who was under the impression i’d stolen their concept for this gojo fic. the whole premise of this fic is honestly not uncommon considering how many times people losing control of their techniques / powers / quirks during orgasm has been done in fanfiction. this concept was completely my own, i had originally posted shitposts about him losing control of his technique & also him putting you into a mating press / breeding before i’d decided to smoosh them together into a fic. we all read from the same workbook, we all have the same material to work off of — two people in a fanbase of THOUSANDS having a similar idea is not unheard of.

now onto the masterlist banners. the screenshot on the far left are the comparison photos that tee made herself— i’m sure you’ll be able to see them in better quality when she makes her own post about it; because obviously that’s going to come. first off i will say, i will admit i took inspiration from her official art masterlist banners — i thought hers looked good and i needed a masterlist so i used official art. fair game there although i only kept them for a few days before i changed again.

but onto the grey masterlist banners, i can honestly say i did not even know tee had this masterlist, also the only comparison i myself see is the colour. the only reason i chose grey was because i had started to use a grey / white overlay on my manga panels for my layout (as you can see far right), and as you know— i’ve always kept my colour scheme pretty consistent. on that note, regarding the actual layout of the masterlists— i’ve added screenshots from atsymu (that i could find due to it being deactivated) that shows the layout of my old masterlists, which was what i took inspiration from for my current. although the title font for each heading like headcanons is different, i had used the sort of old style, basic font that everyone uses before i had deactivated so it would match my fic headers i just don’t have photos obviously.

anyway on the back of this there was then discourse over me apparently copying tee’s kinktober masterlist, which again was not the case. but again due to tee’s following i had received multiple death threats into my asks the morning after i posted mine. as far as i was aware, the only similarities were the fact we both used gifs in our headers & the layout listing thirsts, hcs & fics (which is very common during kinktober but i admitted below i could see that similarity). unfortunately during all of this discourse was when ffflowers, my hate blog also came into the mix which then lead to tee reaching out to me in dm’s from her old blog.

the interaction between me & tee was pretty good, again she was nothing but nice to me directly despite the way she obviously spoke about me in private above. but as you can see below, tee herself told me that basically most of the similarities all made above were brushed off as basic. we spoke about the ig themes & i apologised, saying i could understand where she was coming from and that was that. i unblocked her & she unblocked me so i could reblog her post, it’s been that way since.

it is not my place to comment on other people’s experiences on this app but i would need more than 2 hands to list the amount of people that i’m sure have had similar if not worse experiences with tee. i know i have had multiple mutuals who have been bullied off of this platform & had their safe space ripped from them for little things such as: liking a character that this group selfship with, tee and her friends not liking their characterisation. they’ve even went as far as to go through other larger creators notes to check for minors so they can make excuses as to why they’re thriving.

i also know of a blog who was ‘blacklisted’ from tee & her mutuals as they self shipped with arataki itto at the time, one of tee’s friends also did, so they blacklisted this creator and had all of their mutuals block them for this which then in turn drove this creator off the app. there has been other notably bitchy things that i’ve heard but i have no receipts for therefore i don’t see any relevance in starting rumours.

i would also like to say i know plagiarism is a horrible thing, we have all been through it— myself included but it’s got to the point where being accused of copying tee has become a canon event. notably, bigger platforms have been ruined and driven off of this app for little things such as mdni dividers, similar colours schemes etc. and it’s the reason i’m also leaving.

i will say i have met some amazing people through my discourse with tee, notably people who have been in similar situations and i also apologise to any mutuals who we still have in common who are now sort of stuck inbetween. no hard feelings. although to tee: id be careful of the people you trust because it seems the loyalties they have to you are not as sincere as you may believe. you can also go to her personal & read the other things she was saying about me like how she was always so ? at how many people seemed to like me.

so that’s all i have to say, i’m sure dash will get a few responses from this but i’ll be logging out & turning off asks because honestly? couldnt care less. the only thing i’d change about my experience on this app would be i wish i’d blocked tee sooner.

i’d say have a nice day, but instead, have the day you deserve.

— emmie :)

[creatively-cosmic]

i wanted to draw something different today soooo. i went n scrounged up a buncha pokepastas that ive read/pokepasta ocs ive seen around recently (mostly via mutuals)! ill tag creators and link sources under the cut, and ramble a little abt my thoughts... ^^

if anyone wants me to untag or remove their stuff from this btw let me know i didnt ask i kinda just. started doodling.

also half of yall i either never followed or only Just did i need 2 remedy that. ive been observing yalls stuff from a distance i keep forgetting to Press the Fucking Button is all

Your Friend Silver (Elias) by @uuberwachen ! this was such an INSANELYYY well written story and it stuck with me for DAYS. it really slots in the space in my mind that holds the classics and the twists and stuff with it genuinely got me. i cant recommend it enough if anyone who sees it hasnt read it yet. i got so excited when i saw a dedicated ask blog went up. i wish i werent scared of sending in questions to those things

Pixel Blue: 3DS VIRTUAL CONSOLE (2016) by @calybunz ! ahhh this was such a cool one to read! id see updates on it incidentally n i can tell a lot of work went into it- it was definitely worth it! its well written with a lot of heart.. maybe im just a sucker for stories that focus on a sympathetic blue.. the ending made me so SAD dude what the fuck. though my favorite parts were probably the dream sequences- godd the imagery of it all was fantastic!

Nuzlight (Mia) at @nuzlight-mia ! this is one i dont know much about yet, but her personality and design really captivated me when i first saw her! she seems like such a sweetheart and i look forward to getting to see more of her :3 i feel so bad for her situation.. the story n concept are all so interesting!

Missing Numbers (Green) at @themissingnumbers ... is our thing but green is hells (@hells1nfern0 ) dude that i have no sway in so. whatever. im unwell about him im excited for more to be revealed abt him :] i cant really say more than that since i know his secrets

FIRE RED FREE DOWNLOAD (Infected/Abandoned RED) by @aibouart ... another one i saw the design of first and was just IMMEDIATELY struck by. i love when stories twist in-universe things that're generally treated as normal and mundane and use its horror potential! a parasect parasite outbreak where the protagonist gets infected by that and ends up full of mushrooms...? thats the kinda shit i love to see >:)

Jack by @sparklingdemon ! cool ass design ive been wanting to draw and a cool concept to go with- the creepyblack protagonist as a grinning-reaper type where the ghost is an extension of him rules. i also loveee when designs utilize the fossil missingno stuff!! kabutops's arms lend themselves REALLY well to being a scythe

Glitchy Red: Retold by @lycankeyy / @glitchyred (idk which blog youd rather have tagged sorry). so i saw this when the official ao3 repost went up or got mentioned or something and it. really. resonated with me. like its hard to put my thoughts into coherent words, other than i had to just. Lay Down for the rest of the night after reading it and just feel whatever emotions struck me. it cut really deep but honestly- that's just fantastic. it's not often that i read something that makes me feel as viscerally as this rewrite did, and i have nothing but adoration for it because of that (we do have the plural bias which doesnt help regarding this lol). in my mind this is the definitive version of glitchy red.

Sanctuary AU (Aster) by @possiblyfunny . ANYWAYS ON A LIGHTER NOTE i fucking love aster more than i can put into words. given we get tagged in almost every piece of him that goes up its always such a delight to see and learn more about him! id been planning to draw him for months at this point but only just got around to it haha -v-" i look forward to seeing more abt the sanctuary au! please continue to tag me in those posts idc if it includes my guys or not i just care so much abt it

[svnflowermoon]

mutuals appreciation post!!

i felt like doing this again so hi!!

@dandelions-fly-in-summer-skies @astraeasparrow @bookscorpion73 i quite literally trust you three with my LIFE you know more abt me than anyone here and you are all my favourite people!!! <3 words literally cannot describe how much i love you three and i am picturing a picnic in a garden with you right now my loves <33

@qwerty-keysmash @tulips-best you two were some of my first mutuals and i love that we still talk bc it makes me so happy!!! you two have a special place in my heart <333

(honorary @rissslays mention for the last section even though they'll never see this you were the first mutual who i was emotionally attached to i love you endlessly)

@themidnightarcher MY GIRLLLL you don't fit in any of these categories but you had to be near the start bc you mean the world to me i love you endlessly you're the sweetest ever mwah <33

@a-beautiful-fool @imperpetuallylost @in-the-sweet-november-rain @recklessandyoung @halucynator @loving-the-marauders guys are so unbelievably cool we should talk more!!! i love you all very much <3

@octoberconstellation @weeping-in-the-willows @theladyinwhite13 you guys are like my older sisters i love you all so much you were some of my first mutuals and we don't talk much but i love all of you very much!!!

@ the whole goose coven!! i can't be bothered mentioning all of you but i love you all!! i haven't been in the group for very long but it's already one of my favourite things on my phone ily all sm <33

@judeisthedude my go to for tagging in cute fanart i love you sm <333 thanks for making me your groomsmaid even if i slept through the wedding (still sorry abt that)

@kurtcobainsgreencardigan my twin!! we don't talk much but we are practically the same person and i love you sm <333

@literatureisdying i have never properly had a conversation with you but you get points just for being a loser lesbian just like me

@5ducksinatrenchcoat @lavenderstream @person4924 @tellme-o-muse @ethereal-maia @atwtmvftvtvsgavralpsss @returnofthecabbageman @spaceandotheroddities @trying-to-be-cool-abt-it @nqds @kingofmylastkiss @loveution @folklore-girl @urbanflorals @skeelly @thedvilsinthedetails @stvrlighhttt @lakespoet @nicknelsonblog @literally-maria @believeinavocado @thatonesapphicfilipino @sparksssflytv @deetealeaf @guessillcallitart @frenchdefence @giveuthemo0n @elliedafish @refinedfangirlism @electrictouchftvtv @youronlymagnolia i admire your blogs from afar and even if we don't talk very much (we should talk more btw!!) i love you all endlessly! i think i probably missed someone from this section sorryyy <3

i know for a FACT that i've forgotten people bc i am very forgetful and i have an INSANEEE amount of mutuals and it's not physically possible to tag all of you, i reached the tag limit :( there were so many other people i wanted to tag so please know that even if you're not mentioned in this post i love you sm and i'm always here for you <33

[booksandpaperss]

kind of obsessed with the fact you've slowly gotten more blatant with heartstopper hate lmfao😭 it's like. fine to me it's cute but NOTHING SERIOUS IS EVER GOING ON so I gotta be in a really specific mood for it I still haven't watched s2. definitely couldn't be a fixation. and everyone fucking loves it it's the best thing since sliced bread and I'm like. why tho. and then any critique of it is sorta dumbed down to "oh you just don't like how sweet it is but teenagers deserve sweet romance" like ok but why's it gotta be boring though. and too healthy like beyond normal levels of healthy. like this is missing even the usual human levels of miscommunication. and it gets resolved too easy. sorry this was supposed to cut off 4 sentences ago I'm realizing now in your inbox that I apparently have beef with heartstopper

LKSSJJSJS LISTEN listen. I don’t even hate it. truly. I even genuinely enjoyed myself during the nick and Charlie parts bc that’s the part that thought is actually put into. I just hate how much everyone loves it so blindly

honestly my biggest beef with it is that it’s marketed and treated as the most genuine and diverse groundbreaking queer storyline there is when that’s literally so far from true and it really really shows ppls true colors when they think this bc the sapphics and POC are literal props it’s actually absurd for a show that’s supposed to be a safe space for queer ppl

and god do I hate that part of the reason it’s so popular is bc it portrays these queer teenagers as never having a single, physical thought in their entire life. there was this whole plot centered around one single hickey that Charlie had??? and something abt the physical attraction portion of it all, which they did try to show btw, felt disingenuous to me. and I know that’s why it’s so palatable to a mainstream audience and it pisses me off and again it just doesn’t feel genuine. which is ironically one of the main arguments against heartstopper criticism: “it’s not cringe it’s just earnest” when yeah maybe it’s Trying to be earnest but when u look at it from more than a surface level lens it’s not rlly succeeding

and I know the aroace storyline in season 2 with Isaac resonated with a lot of people and I think that’s wonderful, and I actually do think that was something that was done well, but how can you have a storyline around asexuality when you don’t show the contrast in how it is being an allosexual queer person. there was a whole lot of romantic attraction going on but even more tip toeing around the sexual attraction aspect. and I don’t expect it to be like sex education for example in terms of the focus on sex obv , but the lack of acknowledgment of that aspect of the queer experience paired with how much the uwu wholesomeness of it all is played up rlly rubs me the wrong way. once again: it feels dishonest

I was actually talking about this with one of my mutuals the other day and they pointed out that it is very plain that alice olseman did not consult a single queer man in the writers room. and if someone can prove this wrong be my guest but I rlly don’t think the whole physical attraction component would have been done so badly had an actual queer man been on the team. feels kind of like back in summer 2022 when byler shippers would literally shun and harass anyone who even implied that Will’s feelings for Mike probably included physical attraction meanwhile Noah Schnapp himself was making jokes about it bc he’s an actual gay teenager.

not gonna even get into right now how Tara and darcy felt even more like props this season than in the last one and I didn’t even like watching their scenes bc the writing itself felt performative. that’s a whole other post.

and man, wouldn’t it have been so nice if there had actually been people of color in that writers room. On a purely surface level heartstopper has a very diverse cast but once again, peel away even one layer and you realize it’s a bunch of tokenism, which brings me full circle back to my original point: you can’t say it’s peak representation and diversity when it’s whitewashed as hell and doesn’t gaf abt sapphics despite literally being written by one. guess she chose her whiteness over her queerness even when writing a queer story which wowwww sooooo original.

okayyyy anyways did NOT mean to write a whole essay but u discovering ur own beef reminded me of mine lmaooo

all of this was to say that basically I’m not gonna pretend I didn’t enjoy myself during parts of the show, and I don’t wanna shame ppl for liking it that is not at all what I’m trying to do here, it has its own place in queer media and if a show like this came out in like 2010 it would be groundbreaking despite its issues (but again it’s literally 2023 do fucking better) , but I take issue with people treating it like something it’s not and with the amount of love it gets I feel like I have to be really loud about my criticism of it, especially bc usually the criticism of the show that gets any attention isn’t even slandering it for the right reasons and like. if ur gonna hate on something queer and popular do it right

oh and heartstopper writers? maybe try speaking with an actual teenager once in your life before writing their dialogue they do not fucking communicate that well

okay I’m done now finally 🫡

[thecrazyphantom]

Just some interactions that happened to me a couple of years ago.

The person I'm referring to is probably stalking my account as I post this 😕

(This is just a vent of mine, you can skip if you don't want to read it ❤️)

Btw both of us are Female(well idk what they are but they're afab)

I was so uncomfortable trying to respond to them saying this, let alone in response to my photo.

When they broke our friendship (In a very cringe way btw. I can elaborate if anyone asks) they told me how I "treated them horribly" even though I was the one who constantly just had to deal with their Bullshit when they texted me.

They'd also constantly oversexualize all the female characters I Roleplay/I like

Ex: Saying that Peko has (AND I LITERALLY QUOTE.) "phat juicy tits".

When we had a Simp channel in our Discord server That was Yk... Dedicated to fictional characters.. or people in their class they thought were pretty. They posted a photo into it of Me in a Byakuya Cosplay looking down at the camera and then started going on and on about how they'd give me everything they owned and such and it made me so uncomfortable that I couldn't even response logically so i just sent "<3" and didn't respond to the text.

They would also talk constantly about their AUs and stuff about The Cuphead show. I rlly did like a lot of what they talked about since I liked Cuphead the Game and have a very open mind to others Aus. But the thing was was that I had openly talked about how I didnt want to watch the Cuphead show because I just didn't like the voice acting ((Well they've got good voice acting, good Animation, and funny plots , but I just don't think the Cuphead cast should have voices. But I did watch the show after all this, and it was pretty good)). But i just remember that one day I was getting tired of them talking about Cuphead and I texted them "I don't mean to be rude but can you stop sending Cuphead content? You're slowly making me dislike it 😕" (that's the exact quote), and then they got annoyed and was like "that was the only direct cuphead thing I've sent" And I ofc denied that bc I don't rlly loose interest in things through only one message unless it's controversial. And I wasn't gonna deal with pulling up all that evidence so I just said "Omfg *name*" "Nah I'm done with discord" and they instantly started to "im so sorry" bomb but I told them I wouldn't talk to them until I calmed down bc I was just pretty grouchy at the moment. When I came back I sent some words abt me calming myself down again, then said "I apologize for my outburst". And bam we were somehow friends again????

What was even worse was that they did this all in front of our mutual friend (well at the time it was mutual, now they're just my friend ^_^) that they were at the time dating.

(I don't even remember if they sent more cuphead and I'm not even gonna dig for it)

All I know is that that could've been easily resolved by either just saying something along the lines of "I'm sorry I'll try to send them less" or even being like "Cuphead is my Hyperfixation, just like how your hyperfixation is Danganronpa"

They'd also text the gc that me and my friend were in that they were going to commit Slick-a-Slide and then disappear for weeks on end. So ofc me and my friend would be worried and get in a depressive state because we were under the false narrative that they Unalived, just for them to come back after a while and just brush it off. Each time we asked if they were okay they would always be like "Yeah Sorry my mom just took away my phone." And for a while I started to speculate that they were just in a Mental hospital but they never mentioned it (and they Kinda told us EVERYTHING that happens in their life/day/week.) So not only were they treating me wrong, they were dragging my friend into it and Worrying them. (This happened multiple times while they were dating, so I can't even imagine the levels of depression that could've spiraled my friend into. Like having to hear your lover say they were going to commit, then go offline for a long time, is actually petrifying.)

This is a small one but I also remember that a couple weeks or months before they broke ties with me, We were in a server with all of their friends (+my friend and I), they texted the public channel asking if anyone wanted to call, and when I said that I was down to call that literally responded something along the lines of "someone who isn't Phantom" and then they kicked me shortly after I responded with a sad emoji. That made me lose all left over respect I had for them. My friend confronted them on how that wasn't too nice to say, and then they got kicked too.

Also this is off track but imma bring it up since I'm currently obsessed with Korekiyo, but the way they Roleplayed Korekiyo made him seem like he's some Holier than thou character that could pretty much read minds and just tell what they were doing prior ((for example a character could make and excuse to walk off to give something to someone they're currently seeing and come back to Korekiyo and they'd respond "Oh were you giving something to *name*?")). Idk this just made me not like Korekiyo for a while after they broke ties with me.

Anyways that's all my ranting for now. Pip, Ace, whatever you're going by rn. If you see this, please get off my page, for you've made me dread each second and more that you've talked to me ;) ❤️

[uriekukistan]

THIEF!

waiter waiter can i get uhhhhh:

🕯️🧃🧸🪐📚🎨🌸

sorry sorry 😞 ur tags were just too good

🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

0. i hate reading my own writing. bleh.

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

im trying to think of smth i havent told you? considering i am actively sharing my Deep Dark Past with you as i type this 😭😭 although ig it says smth i havent posted....hmmm.

i used to play violin and i was also pretty good at it, i was first chair in my orchestra and i ranked pretty highly in competitions when i did them. but i haven't played since like. 2020. and i've been enjoying having longer nails so.

🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual?

uhhhhh i think i just go on vibes tbh TT_TT megumi or yuuta pfp is usually a good first impression for me i suppose. also i prefer if the majority of recent posts are abt something im interested in i guess

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

um. i am still alive. my cat exists and she loves me and i get so happy whenever i see her. uhhhhhhhhhh. i've written some decent things recently.

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?

im gonna ignore the emo shit i wrote last night. not sharing that on tumblr dot com. the last thing after that is me studying for my spanish exam. i would share but it does mention where i live so uh.

i got an A on the exam tho

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

this ballet megumi piece by @melloneah is one of my favs, they drew it for my birthday and i was super super touched that they did this, especially bc the posing was so difficult <333 (fun fact the pose is from swan lake, the variation with That One Song Everyone Knows)

also im Always thinking abt hinamie's art. in particular i like this one rn. fushiguro touch-starved megumi...............................

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

my baby….her name is daisy btw

send me an ask perhaps :D

[kalims]

what are 2 things you love about yourself and 2 things others love about you!! i personally adore your humor. you always make me laugh, and you bring a lot of light into my life whenever i see you online ^o^ you truly make my days :)

UHUGHHHH I LIOVEE YOUUUU

1.) not really abt myself honestly but my mutuals/friends that I made.. like... me?? I got these cool ppl that i befriended????

I'm very grateful for the people I interact with on this platform 🙏🤎 even if I don't go here often i don't think I'd be the same if I never discovered tumblr when I was.... *looking for itachi x reader back in 2021* LMAOOO)

so yes yes, I think back on moments with them even if i actually won't remember anything if i do try to remember <- BUT I DO KNOW THOSE WERE THE BEST!!!

2.) my writing just going thru stages lmao

this can be read as my writing in general but its very interesting for me to revisit my oldest posts, and compare it to how I write now!!!

writing really got me through a lot of stuff, and i just really love that I still have it to myself hehe, it pretty much just shaped my life, and how I am rn (philosophy lord btw)

3.) honorary mention: my hair LOL I feel so proud when hairstylists compliment it

FOR THE 2 THINGS PPL LOVE ABT ME IDK MAN 😭😭😭 whoever wants to tell me can send it to my ask box, or just reply here cause I won't speak for anyone HAHAAAA

[erosjournal]

hi i have an idea and if yall wanna hear pls do.

so, me and my friend were talking and talked abt what could've made the heros of olympus series better. mind you, we r now high schoolers, we first read the series in middle school, like 6th grade. also, they are aro/ace (ish, still questioning) and i like to write + i love valgrace.

(BTW IM DOING THE KEEP READING THING BC ITS LONG AND ID FEEL BAD IF U HAD TO READ ALL THAT WITHOUT IT)

so one of the things we decided would've made it more interesting was if piper and jason never ended up together, like at all. ik im a hardcore valgrace shipper, but my friend isn't and we agreed mutually that this didn't make much sense. their whole relationship was built on false memories and one quest, piper pining over him the whole time. we think that also would've enhanced pipers destiny as an aphrodite kid. an aphrodite kid who never dated in the most "important" part of her life, the main part we follow. an aphrodite kid who couldn't get the boy she'd loved. if she'd never dated, it could've really brought out more of the "aphrodite" part of her identity. i'm bad at explaining, but trust. it makes sense in my head. plus, it could show how she's this aphrodite kid who actually is a lesbian yall. which could've been a rlly interesting aspect, maybe some comphet.

one more thing is that whenever jason talks about piper, as his girlfriend, he comments on her physical aspects. as her platonic friend, he comments on her mind. idk if that makes sense, but when reading it, it felt more like how he'd compliment leo, or frank, or someone who was "just a friend".

plus, it feels weird that all of their friends are dating, maybe it could've caused peer pressure? like how leo felt, always being "7th wheel" (idk i came up with that on the spot)

the next thing was if leo and calypso never fell in love. as said before, im a valgrace shipper and they aren't, but we both thought this was an awkward and toxic relationship. the reason why, i'll get into later, but first i wanna talk about why it could've been better in the series.

we think that it could've been more impactful for calypso's side of the story. yes, i know calypso wasn't a great person in mythology, but we have to think of this from both characters perspectives. this is how my friend put it:

it could've been more impactful for calypso since it would've had an ending that was going against the god's curse of her falling in love with everyone on the island, but they couldn't leave. it would've been more interesting of the one person who did save her, was someone she wasn't in love with. the one person she didn't fall for was the person who actually came back for her.

that would've really made things more interesting for her story.

for leo's side, a (not important, but very hugely stated) part of his character is falling for people as a coping mechanism. idk the quote, but sometime in TLH, he talks about how he falls for people who are impossibly out of his league. ok, maybe this doesn't count as a coping mechanism, but it seems to be. sort of like attachment issues, always on the run since the people who did care about him died/left.

i think that it seems wrong (for rick to write, they could never make me hate you leo... with exceptions) for leo to fall for a girl who was "destined" to fall for him anyways. my poor boy. he'd gone through so much yall :(

and to the point of how caleo is sort of toxic, i haven't read much of toa, but i do find that they both cross boundaries.

for example, calling each other names they don't like. i find it VERY disrespectful for leo to call calypso "mamacita". i don't like her, but all girls deserve respect. she also states how she's told him not to call her that, and by the way he reacts, he knows.

similarly to calypso calling leo "leonidas". i don't have much information on this, but i'll link a tumblr post i read on this.

tumblr post on calypso being her own person (extra, not related to before but some other thing to read)

tumblr post on the name thing (read the whole thing, and check out some of the other reblogs, some are interesting, some are just like "f calypso", so just be careful)

one thing, i think i don't like calypso much, but i will not hate her till 1. i've done more research and 2. have more evidence why. i feel it unfair, and i know many people don't like her. i'm also incredibly biased towards leo, so yeah. but, i will give her the chance till i have more information on the subject.

on that note, i don't like caleo. i quite hate it. but for good reason, from what i've talked about. it was just too forced and toxic, and not good overall. maybe it could've been if it was written different, but i hope u understand where i am coming from. ALSO! I AM NOT A HATER BC I LIKE VALGRACE, IF YOU READ ANY OF THIS YOU'D KNOW THAT. im just saying, caleo could've just stayed platonic. just read it all of this + maybe the other blogs before commenting.

MAYBE I'LL WRITE MORE, BU T THX FOR READING

[dogcodedcatboy]

❣️ 🫂 💔 💘 :33

HI JERM !!!! thank u for sending me asks as always u are very. kind and im glad to see u in my notifs my beloved mutual!!

aaroman pining is haunting bc they're just both so fucking Weird to eachother especially when they first start 'hanging out'. their relationship starts off purely sexual and then turns in to something else (this post is something btw). roman cant be gay for real so he microdoses it with a cool rando, much less risky than doing it with people adjacent to the company (ie. 'you hired your personal trainer to jerk you off' via succession canon). no feelings involved. the idea of *romance* is far too actually gay and stupid and he would /never/ do that...he just thinks aaron is cool and wants to see him all the time and maybe kiss and etc etc etc WHATEVER. so very in denial. ANYWAY the actual questions

❣️describe a time one of you almost took a chance at making a move on the other, only to chicken out.

for the purpose of their whole thing im narrowing this to mean like, an exclusively romantic move. roman would worry about this more actually. aaron has done hookups and can (sometimes begrudgingly) navigate around those boundaries. roman is less experienced. wondering if it'd be weird of him to buy aaron...flowers? its corny but it's a thing people do, maybe a nice way to say 'thanks for blowing my back out, my good sir'. he'd spend a great deal of time looking at rose bouquets online before eventually feeling stupid and worrying that aaron would also think he was stupid.

🫂 what's one significant moment of physical contact you had during the pining stage

ough...first time aaron stays the night in whatever hotel they meet up at...he's used to the pump n dump and just like, ubering home. maybe roman would call him a ride, if he's feeling generous. but one night its just so late, and theyre both just tipsy enough to not want to fuss about cars and shit, so aaron stays over. they share the bed and keep a little valley in between them. roman's not a cuddler and he's made that clear. but that hotel ac is COLD. and maybe he can stand to warm his feet up on aaron, maybe he should just scoot back a little for maximum body heat theft. aaron allows this, of course, falling asleep butt to butt with their legs tangled together.

💔 were there ever any moments of angst or jealousy thanks to the hidden feelings?

aaron is a beautiful BPD princess ... and roman is a traumatized abandonment + daddy issues princess... the weird jealousy despite having what starts as a no strings attached thing is absolutely bonkers. roman hates that hes not the only person aaron has this arrangement with but literally cant do anything about it. aaron is much more jealous during their relationship but in the beginning as he's starting to catch feelings he still gets weird about stuff. (once aaron lays eyes on stewy and sees him put a hand on romans shoulder casually in conversation one time its literally world war three in his mind. getting his gothgirl bff to cast evil spells)

as far as plain angst...i mean its roman there's so much angst and denial and trauma to work thru. and aaron as well. i can hardly go in to detail or this would get even longer.

💘 (if applicable) what moment made them realize they were in love with you?

this is difficult bc i think roman is horrible at figuring out his own feelings. i think he realizes hes in love with aaron like 4 times before he lets it stick. just like catching a glimpse of aaron laughing with a group of people across the room..caught off guard by aaron's stupid sexy voice and the way the light makes his brown eyes look like that and the way people can't help but stare at him because he's so magnetic...and then hes like. fuck. what. no. what was that. i was possessed. but eventually he can't ignore it.

theres a rlly great prose bit i wrote w the help of a friend abt roman having a shitty family thing happen at some kind of family/waystar event. he finds aaron and the two of them sneak out of the thing. aaron taking roman for a walk around the city. they stop at the restaurant aaron works at and he sneaks in the back to make them fancy pesto grilled cheese sandwiches and they sit by the water and talk about life and /feelings/, in the limited way that roman can talk about that stuff. he ends up opening up more than he thought he would. and i think he realizes then that he Really loves aaron and doesnt want to just be fuckbuddies or whatever they are

[donnerpartyofone]

man i hope this isnt weird and i know its a little weird but ive followed you for a while and feel a deep kindred spirit with you. i know its only parasocial and we arent mutuals so its all good but like some of the things you post resonate with me so deeply and you articulate things abt yourself that i also feel abt my self but you articulate them better than i ever could. also we have very similar hair but i usually weird mine buzzed but when it grows out it looks a lot like yours and you rock it in ways i never feel confident enough to do. idk i just saw your post abt being a bad person but not in the ways ppl think you are and thats like something i think to myself all the time like i wish ppl who think im good knew i was bad and ppl who think im bad knew how wrong they were abt the ways im bad. and things youve posted abt being a stupid person and having ppl be like "youre not" resonate too bcuz its like im painfully PAINfully aware of my own stupidity and bumbling thru like but my loved ones dont want me to think that way or acknowledge it but i think there is something truly liberating in knowing i am inherently dumb in a lot of ways and to a lot of things and i have to work harder to live a good life bcuz of it. idk. im doing a bad job of explaining myself here. but anyways. i just wanna say thanks for putting your thoughts on this website for me to follow and keep doing you, bcuz youre doing it great.

Well I hope it's not weird for me to post this, I suppose it is anonymous after all; it feels kind of private to me but also I am also having a freakishly difficult couple of weeks and it was meaningful to hear someone say "I know what you're talking about." (I think you are speaking very clearly btw) I feel like a lot of the rhetoric society uses to address people who have depression is devised by people who don't suffer from it, like there's a lot of language about how "you're not alone" and a lot of idealizing talk about how great the self-denigrating sufferer appears to others, and that's nice and all but it kind of dismisses the individual's own personal experience of themselves. A person is more complex than their need for extra hugs or attention or something, and a person's perception of themselves/experience of having to be with themselves is not contingent on the perceptions of others even if the external impressions are positive. I don't know, I hate to shit on supportive behaviors but a lot of them are basically dismissive of a person's status as the de facto expert on themselves; I don't really think it's ultimately helpful to make people feel like they don't know what they're talking about, about their own selves. It can be maddening actually, and idealizing talk in particular has a way of suggesting that things have to be great for them to be at all acceptable. Which is really oppressive to tell the truth.

Interlude: In grade school my best friend's class had to do this exercise where they made acronyms of of their first names using various personal qualities, and the teachers gave her shit because for the letter A she used Adequate, and they thought this was, like...bad and had to be corrected.

Anyway I have always written very obsessively and I think it's related to wanting to be understood. Which is not the same thing as wanting to be appreciated, or wanting to feel not-alone. I think I just want someone to say they know what I'm talking about, instead of telling flattering lies or suggesting that something is wrong to say or dismissable just because it seems negative or painful. As if discomfort is automatically invalidating. Someone asked me recently if I journal and I laughed because I've done it all my life, and also because I actually have a SACK of journals under my bed, one regular one, one for dreams, one that's about my dysfunctional relationship with money and materials, etc. And then there's my various blogs of course. I have a couple of semi-pro writing projects going too that I hope I get to announce soon. But it's really all about just the fantasy of articulating something so carefully, preferably in ink (or "ink"), that no one can possibly pretend that they don't know what I'm talking about ever again.

It's funny that we wear our hair the same. I used to wear it half-shaved but my hair grows so fast, it gave me a lot of anxiety. But on that note I must say that whatever pictures of me you see are like 1/1000, I find it very hard to take a picture I'm satisfied with and I often just wind up feeling embarrassed, but ultimately I think I'm just trying to fix some positive mental image of myself even though I know we're all different people at different hours of each day. I dunno. Actually it becomes problematic because a couple of people are always telling me how "photogenic" I am and then I'm like WHY DID IT TAKE ME THREE HOURS TO GET THIS ONE SHOT THEN, and they refuse to believe me when I explain how many pictures I throw out. They think they're doing me a big favor by pretending everything is effortless for me. I have especial problems with my hair, probably every picture you see of me was anxiously snapped at some exact moment when it was behaving! So don't worry, I'm having a really hard time with my appearance basically always. Pictures other people take of me are mortifying, and I'm always like FUCK, that's what they think is a good, representative photo of me? Uh oh. Pictures I take of myself are usually taken in an emergency in fleeting, ephemeral moments where I suddenly look ok to myself.

This morning I went to the church where I've been going since February, a beautiful place full of eccentric older people I have fallen a little in love with. Sometimes I'm tempted to actually convert to Catholicism, like maybe that would be the gothest thing I could do, but I know that I will always believe in abortion and the right to suicide and I'm not too sure about hell or the historical Jesus or papal authority. I just really like it in this specific church. This morning one of the oldest ladies who goes on the weekdays like me introduced herself, she was very sweet and she was wearing hoops that were styled like chains, I don't think she realized they were bad bitch earrings, they just looked nice on her. She said it was nice to see "young people" getting involved with the church, and I wanted to tell her I turned 42 last week, but I might still be the youngest person there! When I met some of the other folks last month they told my husband that he looked like Geraldo Rivera, and then remarked that they thought we were too young to be aware of Geraldo. I told them we're old enough, we're just packed in our own oil. Anyway this is my big excuse to post selfies I was struggling with, I feel more conflicted about them these days, but I guess I'm still compelled. Thanks so much for your understanding, and have a good night!