#nev*da isnt real

[sothischickshe]

gg finale tag

i was tagged by @mego42, @icanthearyoufromhereplease, @inyoursheets, @septiembrre, @missmaxime, @onlyformissmarks & @kenrune to talk abt what i would/n’t want to happen in the finale, and dw i have in fact noticed the eps already aired lol but expecting me to do things in a timely fashion is extremely foolish & maybe you can help my slow processing, uh, process!

things i wouldntve even put on the wishlist bc ive had my feelings hurt too many times:

beth & rio ending in a good but reasonably open-ended place [can u.....believe........................this happened...................?!!! i thought they were going to like gnaw at each other’s necks till they both bled out or something rather]

beth-dean divorce [extremely surprised this seemed to be happening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! very very very very very very very into it]

annie/nancy endgame [sad this didnt happen but also wasnt expecting it to so]

surprise rhea, amber AND marry pat [what we deserved but never wouldve happened so fine]

the reveal that this show is set in a world where time moves differently & various characters have magical powers [shouldve happened but no one explicitly disproved it so all good]

the reveal that nevada literally does not exist [dream sequence did seem to hint it sooooooo..........]

beth like vaguely apologising to rio for shooting him but like super begrudgingly + extremely drunk [wouldve been hilarious]

annie punching dean in the face [extremely necessary]

anything which explains where nick’s been prior to this season & why it seems like he and rio have had max. 4 conversations in their life b4 said season [long suffering sigh]

a LONG dean + rio scene [longer sufferinger sigh]

ben + sara scene [longest sufferingest sigh]

final scene pans out to reveal this is all hipster hatted barman writing his memoir [lacking this genuinely a crime]

a lengthy dream sequence [!!!!! can you believe!!!!!!!!!!! i love dream sequences so much!!!!! i loved the concrete insight into beth’s psyche]

some kind of payoff to/explanation of this brother/cousin thing [sadly lacking..............althooooooooooough the way nick didnt roll on grandma....certainly leaves scope to hc she is in fact the boss so why not a fagin sitch.......actually would explain rio’s original sudden onset robbery interest better too...........]

rio discovering television [!!!!!!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE!!!???!?!!]

someone explaining that all of law enforcement is gay in this universe [!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE??????!?!?!?!]

rio seeming like he has at least a second braincell [highly debatable but there are some vague hints????]

wishlist:

dean coming out [really would explain so much]

mick revealed to be the boss / rio his idiot protégé [REALLY would explain so much.....this didnt happen but i feel like the idea was at least circled????]

annie/ruby endgame [stan n beth were both fucking me off this season re ruby, this’d be delightful!]

beth-stan teamup [idk maybe they were gearing up to this for a next season or w/e but all this beth stan conflict felt pretty random & swiftly accelerated, n i think i couldve handwaved a lot of it if it led to them having to work together bc of something]

happy hills [well i was lured into a false sense of security by the s3 finale!!!!]

open ended enough ending(s) to inspire lots of fix-it fic, but not so cliffhangery that im stressed [i feel like i did mostly get this! like i can assume that beth throws kevin & vance off a bridge, ruby & annie go on the run together, mick is either dead or convinces beth she knocked him up etc etc]

turner’s revealed to have been alive this whole time [disappointed but not suprised this didnt happen]

all my ludicrous headcanons survive unscathed [just about????!]

very drunk rio [amazing, accurate etc]

anything which makes it seem like rio’s been (v drunkenly) scheming against nick all season [yea? pretty much? i’d need to rewatch s4 but i think there’s a reasonabllllly clear thread of him considering it & working up to it which sort of vaguely makes sense if you consider he’s very drunk the whole time]

nick revealed to be connected to the mra cult somehow [this wouldve been so good, but i guess the cult had no actual powers so wouldntve explained nick’s significant ones but still]

beth & rio: horrible bffs [can you believe?????!?????????!!!!!!!!! the show really said....no one else should have to hang out with them......]

dean is fed the ottoman [can’t believe this didnt happen]

jokes at the expense of cyclists (#yesallcyclists) [were there any in the last 2 eps? not enough anyway]

the fingerprints/gun just not coming back into play at all, fuckit [booooooo]

confirmation of offscreen beth/rio boning but not specifying exactly when in canon so we forever get to try to work out when makes the most sense [technically this didnt happen........but also it kinda diiiiiiiiiiiiiid currently pretty sold on end of penultimate ep]

the girls being successful at crime [a moment of this! how lovely! couldve done with far more but hey ho]

ANNIE COMING CRIME CLEAN TO BEN [implied actually i think????!]

someone referring to it as whiskey instead of bourbon [CAN YOU BELIEVE?????!!!!!!]

bitchlist:

annie/kevin endgame [ew. i mean it’s not, bc beth is going to throw him off a bridge, but ew all the fucking same]

the return of boomer, noah and/or doc whosit [can’t believe we escaped qf]

the return of those weird con artists who scammed a car [thank fucking fuck]

stressful cliffhanger(s) with no obvi resolution [feel like this was kind of escaped?!]

stan-dean bff-ship [what. no. stan doesnt deserve this. what. WHAT]

s2 finale vibes / violence, gore etc [hmm, just abt avoided? i didnt enjoy watching beth get shot multiple times but also it wasnt super gory which good i guess but that also cheapened the whole thing so....idk i think this wouldve worked better if we’d seen beth receive the annie’s been arrested gutpunch?]

beth getting shot espec as a cliffhanger [well! i didnt hate it like i thought i would but this whole thing felt v rushed]

anything which makes rio seem like a sadist [i wouldve found this to be supremely retconny and im v glad it didnt happen!]

the ot3 split up [i thought i wouldve hated this bc that relationship/friendship was the core of the show, BUT i dont think crime (unless theyre super sequestered from the consequences somehow) is in my hea for annie, ruby or stan, and it def IS for beth n rio so....... yea im actually v into the horrible ot3 of beth rio n beth’s gigantic handbag being forced to hang out while noone else ever has to see them ever again!!!!!]

rape jokes [im tired]

ruby & annie’s friendship getting super short shrift [im sad. this whole beth n stan conflict just seemed to obliterate any thought or mention of annie n ruby’s friendship?!]

things i wouldntve even thought to put on the bitchlist:

mick betraying annie & rio at the same time (?!) [that is......kinda what happened....? i think....? like am i supposed to think rio didnt noticed mick was on nick’s payroll or he did and he’s now the benevolent patron saint of all used ppl or....................you what? also like is mick just a super mercenary pragmatist bc way more into it if so haha]

beth + rio kinda getting a happy ending while annie, ruby & stan don’t (???!??!) [legitimately hilarious but also im gonna say an ODD choice]

nick having a gay assistant who does some intense method acting via dating apps pretending to be straight so he can.............send selfies to his father.................? (???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!) [i mean, i AM kinda obsessed ngl but like.................did this make any kind of sense to anyone????? it was like audience misdirect on steroids!!!]

insane quantities of chili’s product placement (??!?!) [was there always so much product placement in this show?????]

no real resolution to this beth-ruby-stan conflict (!!!!???!?!) [this got too repetitive and too drawn out and too preposterous, maybe it was building to something for a next season but i think it needed actual payoff. and the payoff shouldve been annie/ruby endgame or beth-stan scategories champions or both] 

the continuation of the beth-stan conflict not involving any further beth-stan scenes (??!?!?!?!??!) [can handwave just abt anything if it involves christina + reno scenes! don’t care! could watch them act together for days! communicating via coleslaw and increasingly nonsensical plans.....not so much of a fan]

beth getting shot in the shoulder and going down like a bag of bricks (??????!?!?!) [clunky audience misdirects like this make me v sour, they couldve easily inserted a tripping over something reveal bit into the dream sequence, or had a line abt shock later or smthn just to not make it so silly]

too much ambiguity to the timings/knowledge of the endings.......? [im kiiiinda in two minds abt this bc i do like the open-endedness as it allows you to insert what you want to a degree but ultimately im actually CONFUSED. DOES beth know that annie’s been arrested? does ruby? do gregggg n nancy?????? is ruby leaving with stan or not? does stan have even a single opinion on annie, would the fact that she’s in trouble change his mind about anything? has dean intentionally or not been poisoning stan via the hot tub? does beth know that stan n potentially ruby are leaving?? is mick alive? DOES BETH KNOW THAT RIO DIDNT SEND HIM TO SHOOT HER? (my money’s actually on no still fgfgffhf) is kevin sticking around to like raise ben????????? how much/does ben know abt annie’s crime stuff???? why/ is vance alive? why didnt ruby realise that getting dean hopped up on sugar n convincing him to beat vance to death is a great plan????  also: the biggest problem with it being confusing is im concerned im going to have to see more screenshots of bill krebs’ waffling which is unfortunate bc to start with he’s clearly not real] 

that song which played us out [i dont entirely know what a blind melon is but i did NOT like that song. im not saying it deffo shouldve been de la soul instead but like.....there are a lot of songs about numbers and threes and stuff that dont make me feel like someone’s climbed into my ear canal with a pick axe yknow]

ummmmm im not sure if tagging anyone really makes sense at this juncture but if you wanna yell further pls consider yourself tagged/back!!!!