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pascalina · 4 years ago

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The brothers' movie

11/07/2015

They don't use the same last name, but they are siblings. Pedro Pascal (40) the Chilean actor who starred in Game of Thrones and now has a starring role in the Netflix series Narcos, uses his mother's surname because it is easier to pronounce in English. 17 years younger, Lucas Balmaceda Pascal (23), also an actor, debuted in Los 80 and today stars in the TVN series Juana Brava. Here, both talk for the first time about their relationship, their love for cinema and their mutual admiration.

José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal was born in Chile, but a few months later he had to go into exile with his parents and his older sister, Javiera, to Denmark. It was the end of 1975. Thanks to the Rockefeller scholarship granted for his father, the doctor José Balmaceda Riera, a year later they moved to the United States: first they lived in San Antonio, Texas. Life there was just beginning and it was not easy.

Seventeen years later, in 1992, Lucas Balmaceda was born in Orange County, California, into the comfort of a family that was financially in its prime. His dad was at the peak of his career: as a fertility specialist and director of one of the University of California's reproductive health centers. But suddenly they moved back to Chile when Lucas was three years old and his brother Nicolas was eight. The two older ones stayed there. Pedro was already studying drama at Orange County High School of the Arts. Then he went to New York to study theater at the Tisch School of the Arts at New York University.

After a couple of small appearances in TV series, in 2014 he took the big leap in his career: he played Prince Oberyn in Game of Thrones, which made him world famous. Today, he has a starring role in the series Narcos. He is also filming a movie with Matt Damon and Willem Dafoe.

Fame came early for Lucas. After leaving Saint George High School in 2010, he studied theater at the Universidad Católica, and he began to shine: in year fourth, he starred in the theater play "La noche obstinada", by choreographer Pablo Rotemberg, and got a role in the successful television series Los 80 and today, in his last year, he is the co-star of Juana Brava, the new TVN nighttime series.

Scene one:

Lucas appears in Pedro's life

P: "I was 17 when Lucas was born. He was a baby when I left to go to university. I remember my first visit back and Lucas, who was not even two years old, was already the owner of the house. I remember those looks, wanting to tell me: 'I don't know who you are, but this is my house, mate.

To this day I have never seen that personality in another child. It was fascinating to see that wit in someone so small. Since he was a kid he had that fierce intelligence... The four siblings, Javiera, the eldest and the queen of the family; Nicolas, the doctor; Lucas and I are like a compact and consistent unit. I can't imagine life without them".

L: "Pedro was studying at the university in New York when I was born. When he went home for vacations to see the family, as I didn't know him, I thought: 'who is this guest, who is this weirdo who kisses my mother? She's mine!'. Back in Chile, every year Pedro came to visit us. It was the most entertaining thing in the world for me. He was much older and he would come with all the coolness, with all the culture of cinema, with horror movies that were not available here. Then we would watch them and play them out, we would do sketches. We would play that Pedro was a murderous monster and we would escape from him. We were each a character. He was very funny, he did voices, he impersonated people. He gets mad when I tell him, but I've always found that he has a Jim Carrey thing about him, he manages to make some impressive faces. When he came on, I couldn't stop watching him, he was too entertaining. We are all big movie buffs thanks to my dad. When I was three years old, he took my brothers and me to see Batman. I remember crying hysterically. I was very young, sensitive, and being in the cinema was like entering to another reality: loud noises, giant screen. I didn't understand anything.

Scene two

Transplanted

P: "What's Chilean about me and what's gringo about me is a very interesting question, because I don't think even at 40 years old I've been able to figure it out. I was raised and educated in the United States and socialized a lot with American pop culture, but Chilean pride has always been unwavering. My parents were exiled for eight years. So our visits to Chile were regular. My whole life I have lived in the United States and my whole life I have visited my relatives in Chile. However, since my siblings were raised in Chile, my connection to the country is much stronger today and it is something I am grateful for. Something that happens to me a lot is that when I say I've been in the U.S. my whole life, they say, "Well, you're a gringo then! And after a conversation in my fluent Spanish with a clear Chilean accent that same person turns around and says: I've been listening to you, you're Chilean!

L: "I am Chilean because I lived and grew up here since I was three years old, but at the same time I have a cultural disconnection: my parents lived 25 years in the United States, my brothers are gringos. My visual culture is super gringo, the TV shows I watched when I was a kid or the movies I watch to this day I understand them from that place: as an American. More than being born in the United States, I feel it's because of my family's background".

SCENE THREE:

The performance

P: "There were good years and bad years (when I started my acting career in the United States). Many years I was a waiter to supplement my income. But from a very young age I was auditioning for professional jobs. In my late twenties my career in the theater was relatively consistent. Then, when opportunities in television arose, I was consolidating and it became much easier to pay my expenses. I think that struggle, going through those situations, empowers you a lot and it's one of the things I'm enormously grateful for. And Game of Thrones was an incredible gift. It's the best role I've ever played and they're the best people I've ever worked with."

L: "It's Pedro's fault that I wanted to be an actor. But when I told him I wanted to study theater it was hard for him, more than anything, because he cares about me and studying theater is hard. You have to be very wise and have a super high self-esteem to take care of yourself. Pedro went through many things. If there is an actor who doesn't have contacts in the United States, it's him. Everything he has achieved is because of his work. That's why when people ask me why I don't go to the U.S., it's a resounding no. Being Pedro Pascal's little brother is not going to get me around the corner; I would have to be Tom Cruise's twin to achieve anything. Even so, Pedro had many failed career starts. In 2011, for example, he was offered a starring role in a series called Wonder Woman and it was eventually canceled. That's why, when Games of Thrones came up, I was like, wow! We were all freaking out, because Games of Thrones is like a worldwide trending topic. All the episodes he was in, we were all watching them together at my house, eating pizza or sushi."

SCENE FOUR:

Mutual lessons

P: "I try not to get too involved in anything Lucas does or how he does it. He has single-handedly created each of his experiences and is one of the most inspiring things I've ever seen. He loves his work and is continually developing his skills for television and theater, and eventually film. He executes like a real artist and, to be honest, it is more common for me to learn something from him than for him to learn something from me. I mean that very sincerely. Lucas reminds me to work hard and keeps me inspired. When I saw him in Los 80 I was incredibly proud, but not surprised. I was seeing something I had always known. The only advice I've given him is to not be such a workaholic, to take care of himself and to be proud of what he's accomplished and what he still has yet to accomplish. Deep down, I'm always going to be the protective big brother."

L: "Pedro is an object of admiration for me. What he says is law for me. Sometimes I ask him: 'Pedro, did you see that movie?' and he says: 'Yes, I didn't like it'. I tell him: 'Oh, I didn't like it either'. The nice thing about our relationship is that it happens so sporadically, once or twice a year, that the moments when we see each other are very intense. We either fight a lot or we love each other too much, but it's always like a story, like a movie. While he's there and I'm here, we talk a lot on WhatsApp and Facebook".

P: "With Lucas we always keep each other up to date on what movies to watch, what TV shows are good. I bug him all the time asking him about what's going on in his life and I'm always asking him about his perspective on things. Despite being away from each other for a long time, Lucas and I are very close and always have been. I see Lucas at the beginning of an amazing career, with an unwavering curiosity and passion. I love it when he confides in me about things he is enjoying or situations he is dealing with."

L: "I've never seen Pedro in theater, but I've been told he's tremendous. On camera, I find that he has a very intense look. He also has, and in that we are very similar, a very strong visual culture, the fact that we have always liked horror movies. He plays characters that hide something, dark characters. A great strength is that he is very sensual, he knows how to handle himself well from seduction".

P: "Lucas is brave, he's fearless. There's nothing he's not willing to try, he's never going to give up on a challenge, he's never going to leave something halfway, no matter what that means to him. Lucas is unstoppable.

Link interview

#pedro pascal #lux pascal #siblings

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wishingmyhairred · 2 years ago

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Thanks for your response to my idea. I would like to address your input.

Ice water has nothing to do with ALS and people should donate to research on ALS. But they don't. So the the challenge was created to start a trend and raise money for research. People know they should donate but they are more likely to donate when they have incentive for themselves. That's why we raffles, bake sales and videos of us doing challenges.

Now the basic stories on the strike have been written and they need new stories. Basic journalism, same news is no news but new news is worth publishing. Any reporter worth their salt can write a great article about how netflix business practices has been affecting writers (and other staff) and audiences. Practices like residuals, mini-rooms, not sharing data on views, not advertising shows and canceling good shows.

Yes complete fiction is not part of the strike but I think if it was in the USA netflix might have renewed the show cause they probably could screw the writers more keeping more money for themselves.

So to reiterate, donating to the strike as tribute to lockwood is a way to bring new narrative and attention towards the strike, netflix business practices, and lockwood.

It's no baked goods. It's a way of getting back at netflix while also helping the strikers eat and keep the lights on.

Love the enthusiasm people have for trying to get Lockwood & Co. picked up elsewhere, but you absolutely should not treat the WGA strikes like they're a popular trending news item that you can jump onto to get more attention for L&Co. This is a labor dispute aimed at ensuring crucial protections for people's livelihoods and the sustainability of screenwriting (and F/TV more broadly) as a career. This is human beings' lives and work conditions. It is not about you or your favorite show--please do not try to make it about that.

#lockwood and co #lockwood & co #save lockwood&co #Don't be mad #I personally increased my donation a lot after the cancelation #Came up with the idea to benefit us all.

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annika-thelostlove · 2 years ago

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I've had a Simon Feck fic developing in my drafts for weeks, it still missing a vital piece but I'm excited to post it! Other than that, I'm caught up in the canceling of the incredible show 1899, it should be illegal to be that stupid @netflix

YOU HAVE SO MUCH MONEY TO THROW AT JUVINILE SHOWS (not that they're bad, but there are so many), BUT NOT ENOUGH FOR THIS ONE??? AND HAVE ENOUGH BUDGET TO KEEP MAKING FIRST SEASONS, BUT CANT COMMIT TO COMPLETING THEM??

Ughdhejdhegsjdiskd....

They take away integrity of good story-telling when they scare good writers by the threat of cancelation, when they don't care about the artistic parts of entertainment, so they only see these shows as consequences to Netflixs expansion. Its just irritating me so much. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♀️

I guess I'm motivated by emotion atm, and a little biased, but it's such a beautiful show, with such a unique ensemble, I looooveeed seeing the multiple languages being explored and its challenges. If you can, I highly recommend watching 1899 so you know what I mean. And if you're motivated enough to, please sign the petition to try save it. It may not do anything really, but strangers things have happened.

I'm sorry friends, thanks for letting me rant 🙂

#save 1899 #ramiro 1899 #angel 1899 #1899 eyk #tove 1899 #netflix #paul dano #simon feck #rant over

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banghwa-moved · 3 years ago

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tbh it's not even about whether the individual writers are queer (tho there is something to be said about how female writers, both straight and queer, seem to write a lot of m/m and v few mlm writers get a look in) but about the overall trend of which stories are getting book deals, adaptations, the netflix treatment. it's ONLY the white sanitised gay stories that get that deal. a movie like Moonlight stands on its own because it's so unique and doesn't fit into that paradigm, it didn't get any of that marketing push until it got the oscar nomination. I don't necessarily hold the individual writers responsible but the overall capitalist media market making algorithmically perfect not challenging in any way gay romances for cis white people sry this is just a ramble in ur ask box <3 love ur takes as always

EXACTLLYYYYY i couldn’t have said it better . it’s just the fact that it’s the always the same stories that don’t touch on or contest racism, misogyny, biphobia, lesbophobia, ableism, and other systems of oppression, forget delicate topics in a sensitive, nuanced manner that allows for complex and rich analysis and fulfilling viewing. the issue with so many of these is not that they’re too infantile necessarily but that it is all soooooo neoliberal in the way that it’s establish that lgbt storytelling is only worth anything if it is white, monogamous, gender conforming, cis, and the epitome of capitalist morality. these are always the ones being picked up and green lit but they’re also the only ones that get audience traction . this falls into a larger issue that has been normalized in fandoms of prioritizing white male-centric stories while responsibilizing other lgbt people ESPECIALLY racialized lgbt ppl for not being "good enough" representation for approaching complex topics that can’t be painted by a broad protestant brushstroke as either good wholesome perfect or yucky bad cancelled. it is such a blatant display of acceptability politics - by showing themselves in a luminous neoliberal light, white cishet women and white lgbt people can further themselves even if it means reproducing the very discourses that homophobia roots itself in anyway so long as they can separate themselves from it

anyway pls never apologize again u said it so much better and more succinctly than i could we are sooooo jennifer_check_needy_lesnicki_making_out_in_jennifers-body_2009.gif right now <33333

#💌#anonymous

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thstarsofsilver · 2 years ago

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WHY DID I JUST FIND OUT LOCKWOOD AND CO GOT CANCELLED WHAT THE ACTUAL !%£$&! ARE YOU DOING NETFLIX

I AM FUMING OMG THE SHOW AND THE CAST AND THE CREATIVES DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER

#userfiz #mine #textpost #tv #lockwood and co #l&co #lockwood & co #NETFLIX HOW DARE YOU #i am honestly furious #actually seething #this is so characteristic of them #honestly all of that for what. i wish we could get it saved or picked up by someone else but the chances are so low why try #netflix don't cancel a good show challenge #challenge failed #anyway i miss them #already #i'm too tired to be angry today

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uncle-fruity · 1 year ago

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Corporate artists understand story structure and character arcs challenge.

"The source material was a little iffy on the sexism" -- tell me you didn't understand the source material in less words.

Idiot Netflix executives, I imagine:

"We don't need to UNDERSTAND a story to make money an adaptation! People who hate it will continue to give us money anyway, so who actually cares about maintaining the spirit of the beloved animated series? We'll cancel it after a season or two so we probably shouldn't put too much effort into it to begin with. We don't really care if the passion of the original isn't really present here. We don't want it explained to us. The passionate guys already left the project anyway. Here's a group of overworked & underpayed artists who are totally cool with throwing all sense of artistic dignity to the dogs. Where else are they going to get the necessary paycheck to simply take care of their basic needs? Anyway, I'm an executive and I make lots of money for Netflix and lots of mediocre shows that will be forgotten as soon as the anger about them dies down. Excited for all the fans of the original to give our platform all that good good money in exchange for an utter disappointment! Wow! Profiting off other people's work is just so easy these days!"

Alright now this pissed me off

What do you MEAN you're going to remove one of the most important aspects of Sokka's character arc in the first season? What do you MEAN you're going to remove Sokka unlearning misogyny, accepting change and embracing his role as a fighter and protector of the Avatar in order to end the war? What do you MEAN???

#anyway fuck 'em #i don't need a live action version of this show #i will just watch the animated series again thanks #rip to the ppl who see the bad adaptation first & never enjoyed the wonder of the original

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takaraphoenix · 6 years ago

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1/I'm curious if you have Sofia the First and no good Nick on Netflix in your country. Both shows can be surprisingly complex pretty good in the character improvement category, one more than the other obviously. Sofia has a good tie in with Elena. The shows don't really have much correlation with each other, but I'm a person with a wide range of interests, personally. Just found out no good Nick was canceled, but at least it ended on heartwarming, feeling complete kind of ending. Just like Sofia

2/ I also found out out the movie pilot for Sofia also is marked as the number one “preschool” show for adults, specifically also women, aged 18 to 49. So you know, it’s one of those, aimed at kids but any age can enjoy because its actually good. Butch Hartman creator of Danny Phantom Fairly OddParents and plenty of other good stuff even included it in a video about cartoons he wish he made. Sorry for ther big rant…

3/ also, cant believe I forgot about this, but there’s some LGBTQ+ points if your are about to watch No Good Nick. They have a trance actor semi-regular on the show, like supporting character, in their proper pronouns and not as a joke at all. She is a bit of a mean but fun snarky character that you can’t help but like her instead of full on hating. And the second half of the Season that was recently released has Canon gays. Like main character, with supporting family.

I wouldn’t know, I don’t have or use Netflix.

And about the marketting thing, I mean, most cartoons these days try to be aimed at not just children. Look at Pixar, thanks to them actual children’s movies that are in fact only aimed at 4-year-olds get criticized for not being challenging enough a watch for adults, which is rather ridiculous. You can make things that children and adults enjoy to equal parts. You don’t necessarily have to though.

Gotta admit, I’m not in the habit of watching “canceled after one season” TV shows. It’s a bummer. But good on them for including some rep in a children’s show!

#Sofia the First #No Good Nick #Anonymous

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tellywoodtrash · 6 years ago

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I don't think peace of mind and stability are boring, they are definitely needed in real life, preferable in irl. However, I feel cinema/tv is a form of escape, esp. in India. Not like people don't like, say a movie like Piku once in a while, but generally they prefer a masala movie. Its the same for ITV, I guess, conflict makes for good DRAMA, which sells. I think mature couples/love stories are appreciated in Pak tv/Western tv, which are not so heavily dependent on trps. Its what it is. 🤷‍♀️

Yeah but how long can you rationalize problematic content with “it is what it is 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️”? Apply that logic to the misogyny that was mainstream in Bollywood until the early 2000s and see how it holds up. Content makers have to start somewhere in changing their content to reflect progressive thinking. There’s a limit to using the audience as a crutch for peddling regressive shit and saying “it’s what they want to watch.” It’s what they want to watch because they’ve never been given an alternative, of seeing better things. It’s pure laziness and unimaginativeness and lack of want to do something different on the part of makers that leads to us watching the same damn track in the same show for the SAME COUPLE for like…. the 6th time in 2.5 years. And it’s not just IB that’s doing this. Kumkum Bhagya has been going on for 4+ years now, and as far as I can tell, it’s the same fucking conflict from 4 years ago (Tanu and her fuckery) that’s STILL going on. It’s pretty much the same for majority of the shows on air right now. How many times have Kartik and Naira gotten married again?

Progress happens when people are given alternatives. And that’s why discerning Indian audiences don’t watch mainstream television anymore and have moved on to Western media/Indian content on the web. Because they have that choice, to invest time/emotional effort in something that reflects modern day values. The medium of television is derided as a whole by anyone with common sense because of its unwillingness to move on with the times, and seeming like a dinosaur in the 21st century. I believe those who cannot access newer platforms like Youtube/Netflix also DESERVE healthy entertainment, instead of just being relegated to this bullshit. Yes, you cannot create change overnight and change ALL the shows to “the new ideal” one fine day (just like all of Bollywood cannot be ALL Piku/October and absolutely no Dhoom/Race movies) but change has to start somewhere. Like Stree did this year. Or Queen before it. You have to reel the audiences in one show at a time, showing them that progressive ideas challenging convention can be entertaining too. And they’ll respond to it positively, and it paves the path for more and more content of that nature.

Look, just think of it this way: what exactly is the point of “escapist” entertainment? To show people a better life than the one they currently lead. The promise of a better, brighter things. Why not use the medium to show people what healthy relationships look like, and have them aspire to those in real life, than continue to ruin young impressionable minds with this nonsense portrayal of what “romance” should look like? The vicious cycle has gone on for long enough. It needs to be broken. People need to be shown that relationships with stability and communication and empathy are sexy and desirable (FFS, it’s scientific fact! Not just My Opinion!)

PS - Western TV is also highly dependent on ratings, even more so than Indian TV. You have shows cancelled after even one or two episodes aired there, based on bad ratings. Indian TV is much much more forgiving than that, they allow at least a month+ of airing (25ish episodes) before being pulled off.

#healthy hotness #tt answers

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survivor-north-sea · 3 years ago

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Tribal Immunity #3 - Name, Place, Animal, Thing

Let's keep things simple...as simple as you want, at least.

To your host chat, you will send the name of a famous person, a place, animal, and thing all starting with one letter.

For example, if the letter were T, you could send:

Tina Fey, Texas, Tiger, Tape

Some caveats:

The name must be a mainstream celebrity (i.e. their music is in the top 100 or so, they have a show on Netflix, they're a member of the academy, etc.). It must be their first name that starts with the letter. If I don't feel they qualify, you will be permitted to choose another person.

The place must be a city, state/province, or country

The animal must be a mammal and it cannot be their scientific name

The thing cannot be a proper noun

I will compile everyone's lists across both tribes. If you have any overlap with any other player on either tribe (i.e. you both wrote 'Tiger' for your animal), you are eliminated. If you're a community member, this challenge is similar to A-Z lists, just much easier.

Anyone who has a completely unique combination of words will get a point for their tribe. The tribe with the most points will win.

In the event of a tie (or if either ALL players have unique combinations or NONE have unique combinations), we will have a one-world tribal council where the entire cast will vote someone out.

Obviously, you may not discuss list specifics with your tribe.

Your letter is S!

Your list of words is due by 8PM EST tomorrow, October 19, to your host chat.

Also there are a lot of advantages and disadvantages. This round, unfortunately, they will apply to your entire tribe's score.

Brandi and Zach both found 10% disadvantages for Tromoya, but Julia found a 10% advantage, so they will have overall a 10% disadvantage.

Bethany, Azri, and Clefford all earned a 10% disadvantage, none of which were canceled, so Hidra will have overall a 30% disadvantage. Good luck with that.

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badbeatle · 5 years ago

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tsym for tagging me, i've never been tagged in anything on tumblr🥺

i'll go with shows i saw on netflix or elsehwere or any type of series cause i don't watch tv at all hehe also i'll keep it simple cause...well this is my first time doing something like this and i'm being awkward🐒

1. the umbrella academy - i'm literally obsessed with that show😭 that's all i'm saying to prevent myself writing a paragraph

2. killing eve - haven't seen the new season BUT it gave the girls, gays and bipolars everything they want so since i'm all of these, i really appreciated it

3. sacred games - an indian show my bf got me into, sadly i couldn't finish cause his netflix got canceled and we're broke tehehe BUT it's a really intriguing show!

4. gakuen babysitters - i've never been big on anime but this honestly cured me of depression, 10/10 would recommend, most adorable and pure thing to exist

5. nana - perhaps the most prominent anime in my life, i always re-watch eps if i need some courage, entertainment or a good cry lol

i have about 1 mutual that i interacted with propely, who is the person who tagged me in this🥺 so i challenge anyone/everyone out of my followers to do this, and feel free to refer to me as if i tagged you. ^^

List which 5 TV shows make you feel better then tag 10 other blogs.

Thank you sooo much for tagging me! @theweirdsenpai 🧡

I don't watch a lot of TV because I can't stand any form of death/murder/explosions or other forms of cruelty against people or animals so there's not that much left for me to watch 😅

So my go to faves are:

1. Queen of Drags

I love this show sooo much. I always put it on, when I'm feeling sad ♡

Drag has a special place in my heart 💕

2. Shopping Queen

It's a show where 5 people get 500€ each and have to buy a whole outfit and styling to a specific motto 🛍

3. Take me out

It's a dating show with 30 girls who get to see a guy and get some information about him, if they want to date him, they stay in the game, if they don't, they take themselves out by hitting a buzzer. The one who is left in the end will get a date with the guy 👫🏼

4. Ghost Whisperer

It's a bit out of my comfort zone but I love the story. It's about a woman who can communicate with the ghosts of people who recently died and helps them to fulfill their last duties on earth so they can go into the next world 👻

5. "Das große Backen"

It's a show where people compete in baking against each other. I just love it soooo much 🍰🧁

I'm tagging @beating-like-an-abigail @badbeatle @nocturnal-hermit @deme-lu @call-my-master and @kait-chan ☺️

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tragicbooks · 8 years ago

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30 things people don't realize you're doing because of your depression.

Do any of these speak to you?

This story was originally published on The Mighty.

Most people imagine depression equals “really sad,” and unless you’ve experienced depression yourself, you might not know it goes so much deeper than that. Depression expresses itself in many different ways, some more obvious than others. While some people have a hard time getting out of bed, others might get to work just fine — it’s different for everyone.

To find out how depression shows itself in ways other people can’t see, we asked The Mighty mental health community to share one thing people don’t realize they’re doing because they have depression.

Here’s what they had to say:

1. “In social situations, some people don’t realize I withdraw or don’t speak much because of depression. Instead, they think I’m being rude or purposefully antisocial.” — Laura B.

2. “I struggle to get out of bed, sometimes for hours. Then just the thought of taking a shower is exhausting. If I manage to do that, I am ready for a nap. People don’t understand, but anxiety and depression is exhausting, much like an actual physical fight with a professional boxer.” — Juli J.

3. “Agreeing to social plans but canceling last minute. Using an excuse but really you just chickened out. It makes you think your friends don’t actually want to see you, they just feel bad. Obligation.” — Brynne L.

4. “Hiding in my phone. Yes, I am addicted to it, but not like other people. I don’t socialize, I play games or browse online stores to distract myself from my negative thoughts. It’s my safe bubble.” — Eveline L.

5. “Going to bed at 9 p.m. and sleeping throughout the night until 10 or 11 a.m.” — Karissa D.

6. “Isolating myself, not living up to my potential at work due to lack of interest in anything, making self-deprecating jokes. I’ve said many times before, ‘I laugh, so that I don’t cry.’ Unfortunately, it’s all too true.” — Kelly K.

7. “When I reach out when I’m depressed it’s ’cause I am wanting to have someone to tell me I’m not alone. Not because I want attention.” — Tina B.

8. “I don’t like talking on the phone. I prefer to text. Less pressure there. Also being anti-social. Not because I don’t like being around people, but because I’m pretty sure everyone can’t stand me.” — Meghan B.

9. “I overcompensate in my work environment… and I work front line at a Fitness Centre, so I feel the need to portray an ‘extra happy, bubbly personality.’ As soon as I walk out the doors at the end of the day, I feel myself ‘fall.’ It’s exhausting… I am a professional at hiding it.” — Lynda H.

10. “The excessive drinking. Most people assume I’m trying to be the ‘life of the party’ or just like drinking in general. I often get praised for it. But my issues are much deeper than that.” — Teresa A.

11. “Hiding out in my room for hours at a time watching Netflix or Hulu to distract my mind or taking frequent trips to the bathroom or into another room at social gatherings because social situations sometimes get to me.” — Kelci F.

12. “Saying I’m tired or don’t feel good… they don’t realize how much depression can affect you physically as well as emotionally.” — Lauren G.

13. “Answering slowly. It makes my brain run slower, and I can’t think of the answers to the questions as quickly. Especially when someone is asking what I want to do — I don’t really want anything. I isolate myself so I don’t have to be forced into a situation where I have to respond because it’s exhausting.” — Erin W.

14. “Sometimes I’ll forget to eat all day. I can feel my stomach growling but don’t have the willpower to get up and make something to eat.” — Kenzi I.

15. “I don’t talk much in large groups of people, especially when I first meet them. I withdraw because of my anxiety and depression. People think I’m ‘stuck up.’ I’m actually scared out of my mind worrying they don’t like me, or that they think I’m ‘crazy’ by just looking at me…” — Hanni W.

16. “Not keeping in touch with anyone, bad personal hygiene and extremely bad reactions to seemingly trivial things.” — Jenny B.

17. “Being angry, mean or rude to people I love without realizing it in the moment. I realize my actions and words later and feel awful I had taken out my anger on people who don’t deserve it.” — Christie C.

18. “Purposely working on the holidays so I can avoid spending time with family. It’s overwhelming to be around them and to talk about the future and life so I avoid it.” — Aislinn G.

19. “My house is a huge mess.” — Cynthia H.

20. “I volunteer for everything, from going to PTO meetings to babysitting to cleaning someone else’s house for them. I surround myself with situations and obligations that force me to get out of bed and get out of the house because if I’m not needed, I won’t be wanted.” — Carleigh W.

21. “Overthinking everything and over-planning. The need to make everything perfect and everyone happy, even if it’s taking all my energy. As if validation from someone else will make it all better. Sometimes I start out on high power, then just crash and don’t even enjoy what I’ve spent weeks/months planning. And no one will see me for months after, as I retreat into my safe bubble.” — Vicki G.

22. “I smile all the time even though I don’t really want to, but I do it because I don’t feel like I’m allowed to be sad when I’m with other people. I also do whatever it takes to make someone else happy because since I don’t feel happy most of the time, it just makes me feel a little better seeing someone else happy. I also isolate myself even though sometimes I really just want someone around.” — Wendy E.

23. “People don’t realize I say sorry before I even think about expressing any opinions because that’s how worthless I feel. I’m apologizing for feeling anything about anything because that’s how little I feel I matter. They don’t just know I feel like apologizing for even breathing in their general direction. I even say I’m sorry before asking to use the bathroom no matter how long I’ve held it. I feel like a burden for biological needs I have no control over.” — Amy Y.

24. “Neglecting to do basic things like laundry, not wanting to cook a meal or eat. They think I’m being lazy.” — Rebecca R.

25. “Sometimes I’ll go days without speaking to anybody. People tend to believe I’m ignoring them on purpose when really I am just lost within myself. I don’t mean to seem like I’m pushing people away. Some days it’s hard when my thoughts consume me and when I can’t find the motivation to do simple things that others do on a daily basis.” — Alyssa A.

26. “People don’t realize I can’t say no without feeling guilty. I have to have a good enough reason for everything I do. I guess it’s customary to try and convince someone to change their answer, but people have no idea how much it takes for me to say no in the first place. I feel worthless so much that I feel guilty for even thinking of putting my needs or wants first. Then I just feel like a doormat when I cave into the pressure. It’s a never-ending cycle.” — Amy Y.

27. “I push away/cut off everyone who I care about because I can’t bear to be hurt by them! Everyone just thinks I’m mean and anti-social.” — Tina R.

28. “Going for late night walks by myself. My depression keeps me awake at night and my thoughts can get so overwhelming I feel physically crowded inside. Late night walks help me quiet the screaming in my head.” — Lynnie L.

29. “I have often been accused of having ‘no sense of humor.’ So wrong. Before depression took over my life, I smiled and laughed as much as the next person. Now, having lived with depression for over 15 years, the humor I find in a joke or situation is rarely visible on my face or heard in my laugh. I feel humor, but it’s just too much effort to express it. I don’t have the energy.” — Martha W.

30. “Keeping the house dark is a comfort thing for me. People always point it out, like, ‘No wonder you’re so depressed. You need to let some light in.’ Darkness in my living space makes me feel comfortable, almost like I’m not alone. Good days, I’m all about the sunshine!” — Michelle T.

This story was originally published on The Mighty and is republished here with permission. The Mighty is a platform for people facing health challenges to share their stories and connect. Enter your email here, and they’ll send you their best stories each week.

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