#ness x wade x logan

[icarusredwings]

Wanted to ask this: How do you do Poolverine with a CGLogan and a Little!Wade because I now want to try this someday?

Im not understanding the question seeing as I do a lot of that so Im not sure if youre asking why I do it or ... how?? I just... type my ideas?

If you mean my headcanons and stuff Kitty and Kid on ao3 has a head canon chapter :)

For one, Poolverine and Poolness are two different stages/types of regression.

Poolverine is overalls, untied shoe laces, crayons, stuffies at the park, and babbling his head off.

Poolness is binkys, zip up fluffy onsies, select mutism, will just stare at you blanky for hours, mainly just plays for a few minutes then falls asleep on the floor, needs his spidey sippy.

Personality wise Poolverine little wade (NEVER baby wade. He is NOT a baby. He will scream at you and get upset if you call him a baby, and probably punch you in the face if you call him a cry baby) has a much larger attitude, sings, eats way more, can manage if left on his own.

Poolness little wade will cry if left alone or if he cant see or hear you, like I said, he's much more quiet and will simply lay with you while watching blues clues. Sometimes if you are lucky he'll take his binky out and tell you that he loves you or that he can see blues pawprint.

And then you have... *shivers* Poolveriness middle aged 'little' wade. Aka a man whos currently taking a bath while chugging beer out of his cup and not exactly playing with his mermaid barbie rather then flirting with it. He's.... a menace... he needs kept on a leash.. very rebellious, pushes bounderies, says curse words, says vulgar things, stomps his feet, has tantrums, but is VERY sensitive and will break down immediately if you scold him, saying to stop acting childish or stupid, he will take it personally.

[igotathingforwolverine]

As someone who ships my ORIGINAL OC. Okay look I am 33. I have loved Logan since my dad smacked me down in front of X-Men and we saw his muscled back in that cage fight.

Ahem.

It did.

Lilith was one of if not my favorites to pair with Logan because she is Sunshine with a Secret Demon trope. You know the trope of it’s all fun and games till the Sunshine character loses her shit? Yeah.

But it usually goes like:

Now with Deadpool and Wolverine I’m just so happy back to imaginings. “This is my Logan and his boyfriend Wade and HIS girlfriend Vanessa.”

Wade: Ness can be YOUR girlfriend too. And Logan’s. Just saying.

Logan: *does not share*.

Wade: you share me?!

Logan: Ness was here first.

Lilith: you TECHNICALLY share me with Wade.

Wade: yeah but it’s like dominos. I fuck him he fucks you. Or we tag team with him. OH MY GOD LO you’re JELLY.

Vanessa: so Jelly.

Logan: STFU ALL OF YA. *blushing*

Lilith: AWWWW he just wants attention! *scratches Logan’s scalp and behind his ears and rubs his jaw* who’s my big murder mitten having bad ass? *smooches face repeatedly*

Logan:….. <.<…. >:T ….. *muttered* me.

[gamerdog1]

Deadpool and Wolverine Review

If third time's the charm, Deadpool is the whole goddamn bracelet. I kinda grew up alongside the Deadpool movies. I saw the first one at overnight camp at 16, then saw the second in theaters at 18. Now, at 23, I feel like I've grown as a person, which means I can actually articulate how I feel about these films (though specifically, the newest one). I guess that whole 'wisdom comes with age' thing was right after all.

For starters, Ryan Reynolds absolutely kills it. I know the phrase 'born to play this character' is thrown around a lot, but it really fits here with him. Reynolds once again is a delight as Deadpool, with all his usual snark, pizazz, and heartfelt moments. He's always on point, either with a quick jab at another character, comical reactions, or his character's usual fourth-wall breaks.

He isn't always all happy-go lucky, though. The film, like the previous 2, has a story beyond gratuitous violence, one that centers on Wade Wilson's sense of inadequacy in comparison to other famous heroes. We see how his life has changed since the previous film (go watch that before this, it will not make sense otherwise), both for better and for worse, and watch him continue to grow as a person in a satisfying way. That, I believe, is what separates these movies from other ultra-violent movies of its type: that there is an emotionally-driven story, and it remains important beyond getting characters from setpiece to setpiece.

Though, that's not to say that this is some deep philosophical mediation on the character. Fear not, there's still as much, if not more, violent fight scenes and action here like the previous movies. After all, what would a Deadpool movie be without a few dozen (read: thousand) bad guys to kill, in creative and gorey ways? This film ups the ante, by giving more interesting fight scenes that revolve around different set ups (tower defense, 1v1 in a car, etc) to keep everything visually fresh.

There's never a dull moment in this film. Heart-to-hearts are full of little sneaky one-liners that take a minute to register. Tension between the two leads is thick enough to see, let alone cut with a knife. And all the while, the film keeps bringing in new reveals, fully using the 20th Century Fox backlog of C-listers to call back to this franchise's history, and keep them from fully being forgotten. Add that, with an army of multiverse Deadpools, and you've got yourself a film that even non-comic book nerds like me gush over.

Above all this, beyond the not-quite-irritating-like-most use of the multiverse, or the hundreds of liters of CGI blood shed, this movie did something so profound, I'm still reeling. It made me love Wolverine.

Growing up, Logan always felt like a gross old man type of character. The kind who pressures you to drink at a young age, and owns at least 20 guns that he refuses to part with. Any portrayal of his animal-ness always felt like lip service. But here... its like I've met him for the first time, and now I'm obsessed.

Hugh Jackman has practically been playing this character since I was born, but only here do I really feel like we get to meet Wolverine in full. No longer is he that hunched-over, stoic gruff weirdo that X-Men have around, now he's a deeply emotional character with valid reasoning behind it, and strong motivations. We are finally in an era where tough guy characters are being done justice and allowed to have emotions, and it is glorious.

X-Men Apocalypse gave us a taste of what he could do, but putting Wolverine in an R-Rated movie was the best decision anyone could have ever made. His animal fury is on full display here, and with a higher age rating, ever stab and slice is shown in bloody, glorious detail. Pairing him with another character who can take hits and survive, like Deadpool, was a match made in heaven.

The two are perfect foils, playing off each other in such a satisfying way that had me disappointed when it was all over. Deadpool has worked with bigger, tougher guys in the past, but Wolverine's short temper and guardedness go well with Deadpool's silly, jokester persona. Platonically, romantically, sexually, I don't care. They're meant for each other.

Above all, Deadpool and Wolverine is a loving send off to the studio that made the X-Men film franchise. Its a culmination of all the passion and hard work that went into those movies, and stands as a testament to how far we've come since the first X-Men hit theaters over 2 decades ago. With a film like this as a sample of what's in the future, we won't have anything to fear.

[darksharedsins]

Warm Water, Warm Bodies.

AU: X

Ship: Moxiety

Prompt: "You've got too many clothes on."

Requested by: X

Warnings: Hand-jobs, bath sex, discussion of kinks, Daddy kink, slight hair-pull kink.

Summary: Patton and Virgil decide to try out having more explicit activities in the bathtub instead of the bedroom, turns out both of them like it even if it was just a small experiment this time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

"So, you're sure you're okay with this? I don't wanna make you uncomfortable or anything Virge!!" Patton said as he and his boyfriend, Virgil, walked upstairs to the bathroom. This was the first time they had ever discussed doing something a bit more sexual outside of the actual bedroom, but, they were the only ones in the mindscape at the moment, Roman and Logan were out on some quest in the imagination that Roman had somehow convinced Logan to join on, so they finally had the opportunity to try it! And even if they didn't like it in that form, they could just enjoy the nice bath together!

"I'm sure, Patton," Virgil said, tugging at the end of his hoodie sleeves. While, yes, nervous to open a new door in sexual expeditions, he was also excited to look into this new, well, would you be able to call it a kink? Whatever it was, he was as ready as possible to explore. Patton grinned, "Okay!" he opened the door to the bathroom, "I'll fill up the tub for us, while you get undressed, you've got too many clothes on, anyway," he said with a wink, as he moved over to begin filling up the bathtub as he had stated beforehand.

A dark pink hue flushed up Virgil's cheeks. "Yeah, okay," he smiled, shyly. He fiddled with the zipper of his hoodie, "you do that. I'll get undressed, yeah." He pulled the zipper down, slowly shrugging the shoulders of his hoodie off. "No need to be so flustered Virgil! We do look the same after all!" Patton said with a bit of a giggle, as he began to untie his cat hoodie and let it fall to the floor, then proceeding to unbutton his shirt.

"I know, Patt," Virgil replied, letting his hoodie fall carefully to the floor, "sometimes I forget that you can dirty talk behind all your daddy-ness?" Virgil shook his head. "No, not the correct wording." Patton snorted. "That was interesting wording," he chuckled. "I thought the dirty talking and daddy-ness were the same thing," he remarked as he took his shirt off. He went back to the tub to turn off the water as not to let the tub overflow.

"Shut up!" Virgil covered his face, "that's not what I meant. And no matter how many times I hear you talk dirty, I still can't get over the fact you can." Virgil kicked his hoodie to the side with the rest of the clothes slowly starting to pile up. Patton only laughed a bit, in a fond not malicious way, of course, now more focused on getting stripped the rest of the way down than teasing his boyfriend. He didn't want to make him too anxious before they tried this 'Possible Kink' out.

Virgil quieted, pulling on his sleeves. He moved his gaze away from his doting boyfriend to finish undressing, starting with his long sleeves. Patton finished getting undressed quick enough and sank down into the warm bath slowly. "Baaabeee~" he jokingly whined, motioning for Virgil to get in with him.

"I'll join you in a moment, Patt," Virgil replied, attempting to kick off his pants. He tossed his long sleeves in the pile, stumbling a bit over his tied up feet. "Careful there don't trip!" Patton warned quietly, glancing up and over at his boyfriend from where he had been slowly wading his hand through the water.

"I know," Virgil smiled, bending down to toss his pants off, then he stripped from his underwear. He stood in front of the tub, "So, uh, where should I sit?" Patton shifted a bit to the side so there was more room, "Next to me?" he asked with a small smile, "Or on my lap?" left him as the sweet small smile turned a tad more mischievous. Virgil sputtered, carefully stepping into the tub, "On- on your lap." He sunk down to sit in front of Patton, the others hips cradled between his knees, "This good?"

Patton couldn't help but grin at his stuttery boyfriend. "Yep, it's good for me!" he said. He leaned forward closing his eyes a bit and placing a sweet kiss on Virgil's lips. Virgil sighed softly, closed his eyes, and pushed back gently into the kiss, then wrapped his arms around Patton's shoulders. Patton's hands traveled down to hold onto Virgil's waist. He tilted his head a bit into the kiss to deepen it a bit.

Virgil smiled at the moment, almost attempting to push himself closer to Patton, but he pulled away, just a bit, and asked, "What next?" He shifted from side to side before fully settling in Patton's lap. "Well depends... What do you wanna do, Virge? All the way or for right now just take it slow and do something else?" Patton asked quietly, wanting to give Virgil the option as he was fine either way.

"We're just kind of experimenting, right?" Virgil asked, then paused, more for himself as he took a slow breath, "then let's just go slow for now." Patton smiled. "Alright," he said placing a soft kiss to Virgil's cheek as his hands went down a little further to Virgil's hips. He glanced back up at Virgil silently asking if this was okay. Virgil nodded, smiling softly. He laid his head, eyes and nose turned toward his neck, on Patton's left shoulder trying to press himself closer to the other.

Patton couldn't help but lean forward a little bit and add a couple kisses to Virgil's neck and cheek again. With Virgil's permission, Patton's hands traveled even further down, soon enough one wrapped around Virgil's cock, while the other moved to his thigh spreading his legs just a bit. Virgil whined, pressing careful kisses to Patton's neck where he could reach. He moved his legs to Patton's touch. His left hand trailed down Patton's side, settling on Patton's waist.

Patton smiled at Virgil's whine, his hand beginning to rub the tip of Virgil's cock, applying a bit of pressure not enough to hurt obviously. "Paattt," Virgil continued to whine, "don't tease." He rolled his hips up into the others hand. Patton couldn't help but grin, he shifted a bit so he could add more kisses to Virgil's neck. The small kisses soon turned into little nips at his skin. Slowly, he began to move his hand up and down, but his grip around Virgil's member loosened slightly as he did so. Still teasing to some extent.

Virgil rolled his hips into the loosened hold, water gently splashing around them. His kisses turned to bites and he harshly sucked at the skin. His fingers twitched at Patton's hip. Once Virgil began to bite at Patton's skin, he did the same, beginning to leave marks in the wake of his bites. His hand tightened again, yet his movements stayed the same slow pace. "God, Patt, please," Virgil moaned against the other's skin. The water lapped against the rim of the tub as he tried to move with Patton.

"Please what, Virgil?" Patton asked with a grin, his movements stilling, yet his grip remaining the same as he added more bites to Virgil's neck. "You're such a fucking tease," Virgil groaned, hand tightening a little at Patton's hip, "you're always such a fucking tease, you know." Patton chuckled fondly, pulling away from Virgil's neck so he could look at him, "Mhm... You love it though, babe..." He smirked at Virgil, "so did you want this?" His hand suddenly moving once again, this time a bit faster yet still a tight grip.

"Fuck," Virgil hissed, "yes, that, exactly that." He whined, sucking a darker hickey by Patton's clavicle. Patton's smirk never left as he continued his quicker pace, after a bit spending up even further, making the water around them splash a little bit onto the edge of the tub where they sat.

"Ah, fuck," Virgil moaned, bitten nails attempting to dig into Patton's skin. The hand at Patton's hip twitched before jumping to settle below his belly button. Patton hissed slightly as Virgil's blunt nails dug a bit into his skin. "Does that feel good baby?" He asked, not minding Virgil's hand resting on his stomach at the moment. More focused on making sure Virgil is enjoying this.

"Yes, daddy," Virgil murmured, head tilting to look down. He turned his hand upside down, fingertips resting about the nest of brown curls. "Daddy, may I?" Patton nodded. "Yes, you can, baby..." he murmured, shifting a bit so they were more comfortable.

Virgil's hand trailed down, taking the base of Patton's cock lightly in his hand. He held it, gently pumping a few times, each time rubbing the pad of his thumb over the head. Patton let out a soft moan, pausing his actions for a moment so he could just feel the pleasure of it. The warm water in addition to the soft contact was definitely a good thing. Soon enough he got ahold of himself and continued his previous actions, every few strokes on Virgil's cock he gave him a light squeeze, letting him feel the tightness of his grip as he pumped his cock.

Virgil let out a short, keening moan every drag upward, his own motions stalling as he attempted to not squeeze too hard. He bit his lip, hitching his hips forward. His own hand stuttered at a steady pace, trying to bring Patton the pleasure he was receiving.

Patton involuntarily jerked his hips forward as Virgil's movements stalled. His hand that was resting on Virgil's hip quickly moved away and to Virgil's cheek instead, gently coaxing him to look at him before kissing him. This kiss wasn't as sweet and soft as the one before, it was a bit lustful and rough.

Virgil moaned into the kiss, taking the hand biting into his skin and moved it to his hair, combing through to get somewhat of a grip on this situation. He pulled at Patton bottom lip, hand speeding up its administrations as his own needs increased.

Patton's own noises increased as Virgil pulled at his lip. Quickly allowing his lips to part. His hand on Virgil's cock sped back up, his fingers working on each upstroke to add pressure to his head, and more pressure to the base when his hand went back down. Patton's other hand moved away from Virgil's cheek and threaded through Virgil's hair as well, slightly pulling on it as a test.

Virgil squeaked then let out a moan as his head was pulled back by the gentle grip in his hair. His hand stopped stroking Patton's cock as his neck opened, hickeys and bite marks still placed there. His hands moved to grip Patton's shoulder and rut into the strokes.

Patton quickly began attacking his neck with even more bites and hickeys. His strokes now worked quickly and his grip was tight as it had been. The only sounds that were echoed in the bathroom were of Virgil's moans and whines, and of the water now splashing outside of the tub due to their shifting and quicker actions.

Virgil's grip on Patton's shoulder tightened as he was drawn closer to the other. He shivered in delight as he felt Patton mark him and moaned at the quickened pace. He rolled his hips in an attempt to keep up, getting closer to the edge.

"Are you close, baby?" Patton asked quietly, as he pulled away from Virgil's neck. He could tell Virgil's movements were getting desperate and quicker. The hand still in Virgil's hair tugged a bit again.

"Ye-yes, daddy," Virgil whimpered, pulling himself closer to Patton. His blunt nailed claws at the Patton's shoulder as his movements stuttered and caused the water to slowly lap over the edge of the tub and onto the floor.

"C'mon then baby, come for me..." Patton whispered into Virgil's ear, his hand moving from Virgil's hair to his back, keeping him close to him. He couldn't help the slight hiss of pain that left him as Virgil's nails dug into him

"Fuck," Virgil whimpered, closing his eyes. His breath hitched, biting at his bottom lip, "fuck, fuck, fuck, Patt, daddy, fuck." His hips stuttered, his release swimming up into the water between them.

Patton's own cock throbbed at the sounds his boyfriend made. His strokes slowed and the grip loosened to work Virgil through his orgasm, but he pulled away before Virgil got oversensitive.

Virgil panted soft puffs of air against Patton's skin as he slowly climbed down from his orgasm. His hands slowly dropped into the water just at Patton's hips.

Patton couldn't help but smile at Virgil, much more fond and innocent than their previous actions would suggest, "Did you like that, Virge?" He asked

"Yeah," Virgil nodded against Patton's shoulder. "Yeah, I did." He shifted to the right, letting his left-hand drop to brush the top of the curls again. "Patt, you didn't...?"

Patton shook his head, "No, I didn't I was more focused on you... But, you don't have to do anything if you don't want... We could just take an actual bath and take a nap... If you want..." He offered. Sure, if he didn't get to release it will suck but he was not under any circumstances about to make Virgil feel bad or forced into doing something like this.

"No, no, I want to help you," Virgil spoke quickly, pulling back to look Patton in the eyes. He could finally see the dark marks he left on Patton's neck and shoulder. His left hand pulled back a moment, settling higher up on Patton's arm as he sat back t talk to Patton, "I-- if you want me to, that is. I-- I-- I know what you just said, but I just am--" Patton quickly shushed him, "Hey, Virge... It's okay." He moved back a bit, his hand that had settled on Virgil's back moved to hold onto Virgil's, "Whatever you wanna do right now, you can, I'm okay with it, I promise you..." he murmured sweetly.

Virgil smiled and nodded, squeezing Patton's hand gently. "Okay," he murmured back, dropping his right hand down to Patton's hip. "Okay. I want to help Daddy." Patton nodded, "Okay then, baby, go ahead..." he said, spreading his legs a bit. His eyes drifted to Virgil's neck, humming in admiration at the marks he's left on him. Virgil could probably cover some of them up with his hoodie but not all of them... good thing they have makeup.

Virgil smiled slightly and nodded, his hand dropping to taken Patton's cock in his hand. He stroked carefully up and down, thumbing at the head and slit with each pass up. Patton let out a soft gasp as his cock was finally given contact, quiet moans left him as Virgil rubbed the head and slit, already a bit sensitive due to the contact from before.

Virgil grinned, tightening his grip just a bit and kept the same pace. He placed soft kisses on Patton's neck as he felt the water lap at his forearm. Patton's noises only increased, his hands moving to grasp at Virgil's shoulders, giving him more leverage to buck into his grip.

"Daddy, you make such pretty noises," Virgil whispered, pausing to just rub over the head. He pressed another kiss to Patton's neck as he worked with Patton's bucking. Patton's hips stilled after a couple thrusts, "That's because you make me feel so good, baby..." he murmured, between small pants, and softer moans.

"I like making you feel good, Daddy," Virgil said, "just like how you make me feel." Virgil sped up his strokes slowly, nipping carefully down Patton's neck and shoulder. Patton tilted his head to the side as Virgil nipped at his neck, giving him more access to that expanse of skin. "Glad I make you feel good, baby... That's all I want, is to make you feel good and happy.." He murmured

"And that's all I want for you too, Daddy," Virgil murmured, twisting his hand up with his movements. He carefully moved his free hand to settle at the bottom of Patton's head and played with the small tufts of hair. Patton leaned forward a bit sweetly kissing him, a stark contrast to their actions. He only pulled away a little bit to murmur, "I love you..." Before reconnecting their lips. His hips jolted again, as he began to near his edge

"I love you too," Virgil said breathlessly, letting their lips reconnect. With the movement of Patton's hips, he pulled back just a moment, "you close, Daddy?" Patton nodded, "Y-Yes, baby... I am..." He moaned out, his hips bucked up again. His grip on Virgil's shoulders tightened a bit but he tried to prevent his nails from digging into Virgil's skin. "Come for me, then, Daddy," Virgil murmured, speeding up his strokes, "let me see you come. Wanna see you come."

Patton's eyes shut tightly, "mn- Fuck..." His breathing hitched, but he didn't try to muffle his noises, "Fuck- Virge- baby-" his hips bucked up harshly as his release mixed with Virgil's still in the water between them. Virgil smiled, carefully working Patton through until he was just brushing oversensitive. He slowly pulled away, settling his hand back on Patton's shoulder as he wrapped him in a hug.

Patton calmed down from his high and wrapped his arms around Virgil, returning the hug. He chuckled under his breath, "I guess this was... A good thing to try? I really liked it..." He murmured, not pulling away from the hug. Virgil sighed softly, pressing a chaste kiss to Patton's lips, pulling away a moment. "Yeah, I liked that too," Virgil replied, carefully, leaning his head back on Patton's shoulder. "It was fun."

Patton nodded, "Yeah it was," there were a few moments of calm silence between the two, before Patton sighed, "Now though, we gotta clean up... Maybe take an actual bath?" He giggled. Virgil giggled right along with him, smiling against his neck. "Yeah, an actual bath sounds nice right about now." He said, skimming his hand over the water away from their bodies. "Drain the water?"

Patton nodded. "Yeah, we can drain the water then fill up the tub again..." He murmured, pulling away and kissing his cheek. He moved over to the drain and took the small cover off of it to allow the water to drain out. The two of them refilled the tub, cleaned one another off and decided to take a nap, curled up peacefully in each other's arms.

[nightcoremoon]

So I finally watched Deadpool 2. long post. very... very... very long.

back in 2009 my then 7 year old sister really got into avatar the last airbender and I hadn't really watched it but I had to share the tv with my four sisters and honestly between the kids television and disney sitcoms it was a breath of fresh air, and for a year and a half we would wait for reruns of episodes we hadn't seen yet. avatar was the show that got me into fandoms. alas, time passed and by the time korra was playing we'd moved to a different house and lost cable tv because the stepfather refused to pay child support and we were on a one parent income. we didn't really do anything together anymore either because I was in high school now. but then she got super into comic books. and I mean SUPER into them. especially harley quinn and deadpool. so when they announced the first movie and suicide squad we had both collectively lost our shit in excitement. alas, mom said she wasn't allowed to watch it since it was rated R and she was only 14. so one late february afternoon I was gonna take her out to see a movie. I told mom we were going to go see zoolander 2. in the car, I looked at her and said

we're not watching zoolander

and she screamed

and we watched deadpool

AND IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME

anyway more time passed and I heard that a second one was coming out and I wanted to do the same thing but that didn't happen and I lost my chance to see it in the theater. and then as I got enraptured in transitioning and working and a whole bunch of other stuff I just never got around to it. I did watch all of the supporting videos and trailers and stuff though. anyways, my sister (yes the same one) just rented it on dvd from a video store and watched it with her boyfriend today (actually yesterday but shut up), so I just sat down to watch it after work and

It

Was

...

a little disappointing at first, don't get me wrong. there were a lot of plot contrivances and I LOATHE fridge stuffing. I literally made a joke, "if she dies I'm gonna be mad" and then BOOM she fucking died and I was so pissed off I almost just turned it off. but I decided fuck it might as well watch the whole thing. it was a huge step forward from a technical perspective and all of the cinematography was on point and I could tell david pulled his a-game and did so much better than tim did (sorry tim, I love mass effect 2 and scott pilgrim if it's any consolation) and felt so much more fluid of an action movie considering the man did john fucking wick. of course ryan was fantastic too, as he always is. everyone was great: rena, tj, karan, leslie, BRI AND KUTSUNA-SAN, zazie, and stef's voice plus the cgi crew. also I always love terry crews, bill skarsgard, matt damon, alan tudyk, and the two seconds that brad pitt was on screen, even if their appearances were for comedic effect. I wasn't really sold on julian though but he's a newcomer on the scene and he did pretty well for all intents and purposes. I could tell which scenes were filmed first thought but this isn't a scathing attack on a child's acting abilities. I'm just angry that the actual plot for getting to the end was so weak, that they're aware and had ryan lampshade the fuck out of it, and the last half hour was such a trip.

okay so first of all how in the FUCK did sergei figure out who deadpool's secret identity was, track down wade wilson's apartment, get a hit crew together, and make his way downtown in the amount of time it took dopinder to drive wade home, wade and vanessa to bang, and them to start watching a movie? oh yeah sure there's nothing saying that their talk about his daddy issues was the same day let alone the same hour as the previous scene except for the simple fact that there was no fucking indication that any time had passed. either way, someone fucked up, and it was for the sole purpose of fridging ness to cause wade manpain. although frankly the only thing I hate worse than killing off the previous waifu for the next is breaking them up for zero reason whatsoever from out of nowhere (or doing both: if you do both then you're no better than paul blart mall cop 2 and that movie is a steaming blight on humanity that's only saved by perfectly syncing to pink floyd's dark side of the moon album). and to be fair THEY ACTUALLY USED THAT AS A PLOT ELEMENT AND MADE ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND HAUNTING SCENES I HAVE EVER SEEN IN A MOVIE. and also a hilarious one. so that sucked at first but then redeemed itself later. I'm still a little salty that he killed francis for nothing. MORE ON KILLING LATER.

(actually upon reflection maybe wade didn't hide his secret identity at all so it's perfectly reasonable that sergei just went after him but that would awaken a whole swathe of problems like why the fuck are wade and ness livin in the middle of the city full of crime and shit??? and more on that later)

dopinder killing his rival in love. come on now, that's just unrealistic. dopinder is too fucking incompetent to successfully murder anyone who isn't a pedophile. MORE ON THAT LATER.

the suicide. I can understand going out with a bang but are we supposed to believe that wade bought all those barrels, wheeled them in, and arranged them all and never once thought "well gee maybe I'm overreacting a little bit"? okay, he was depressed and not thinking clearly, but he was constantly getting drunk, doing coke, and god knows what else. he somehow didn't have the clarity to not kill himself but had just enough to arrange such an extravagant death? yeah yeah I get it, rule of funny and cool, and I can forgive it because it's deadpool, but god damn it that's really lazy (AND GODDAMN IT THEY EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE IT TOO. ITS LIKE THE ROYAL RAT AUTHORITY BONFIRE HERE). it's also indicative that weasel and colossus and dopinder are just bad or at least distant friends. and at least althea has an excuse being that she can't see. but as for the other two? bruh he is suicidal and unstable as hell. the last thing he needs is SPACE. but well maybe he hid it well, like kurt cobain, robin williams, chris cornell, chester bennington, okay writing this sentence maybe that actually does make sense. fuck.

negasonic thought that wade "flamboyant pansexual" wilson was lesbophobic? what? I understand it was for a joke but like come on now. surely she'd know that wade legitimately wanted to fuck colossus but wouldn't because he loved vanessa. lesbian gaydar works well, okay? then again the writers are not lesbians so I mean they can't be faulted for not grasping the raw power lesbians exude. (and if there's canonical evidence negasonic is actually bi, the same rule applies because wlw solidarity and stuff). and that's more than made up with the interactions between wade and yukio. whom I love and would die for. she's delightful and I hope she gets plenty of screentime in DP3. (also lmao 'pinkie pie from my little pony'. the real pink pony would be proud)

now, I get that this is purely because of license issues and budget constraints but THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF THE X MEN COEXISTING WITH THE PEDOPHILE HOME AND THE ICE BOX IN THE SAME UNIVERSE IS SO FUCKING ASININE. even if I made concessions for everyone being dead despite the timeline being fucked up the ass without lube, and admitting to never having watched literally any x men movie past X3 and yes that means I've not seen origins, japan arc [wait shit yukio's in that WTF SONY], first class, days of future past, apocalypse, or logan so I'm not an expert on the field but like. FUCK. I know there's jurisdiction, things change, erik is away and charles is dead (I think) and logan is dead (I know), and there's six whole movies I'm lost on, but jesus christ, none of that segment had any work done to make sure it was logical. so here we're supposed to believe that colossus and negasonic took wade as a trainee in the X Jet to Allegorical Racist/Homophobic And Literal Pedophile Central to... do what, exactly? What was the fucking plan? Because it sure as fuck looks like the plan was to distract him enough to force the Devil May Cry (sorry but I see DMC I either think of the rap duo or the game series) to haul him off to fucking prison to the fucking nth power. Colossus who seems to be the head honcho and sole decision maker of the X Men just stood by and watched until bullets started flying. Was he recruiting? Was he the damage control? Was he the cheap plot moving device whose sole reason for showing up at Essex was to punch Wade out before he killed headmaster touchykids allowing for the hamfisted climax? Clearly if we were to derive any conclusion from this circlejerk we have to assume that not only Colossus but the entirety of the XMansion just don't give a fuck anymore, or that it isn't important to make sense because hey this is a Deadpool movie so fuck you for using logic. Excuse the shit out of me for being confused as to what the fuck actually happened, because if Colossus is willing to let Wade get thrown into prison for killing a pedophile but he's not gonna TAKE ACTUAL LEGAL ACTION AGAINST ESSEX HOUSE FOR TORTURING MUTANT CHILDREN FOR DECADES (Domino admitted to it being the same when she was a kid), either it's just a Public Relations nightmare to not let the Run-DMC haul him off, Essex is a legal powerhouse on the same level as the Westboro Baptist Cult with lawyers up the ass, or they changed a lot of shit from the trailers and cobbled together what they could from what remained (which is the most likely suspect because Bedlam and Shatterstar had scenes in the trailer where they were not dead and were actually fighting with Wade and Domino). Regardless, the scene however dumb and nonsensical was necessary I guess, and established Russell/Firefist as a character. I'm still gonna be pissed about that in particular but HOLY SHIT is that stupid. But that's not all that's stupid. More on that later.

Cable's motivations are grief. His hypocrisy is understandable. Killing kids is wrong so I'm gonna kill a kid so he doesn't kill other kids. Why doesn't Russel deserve life? Because he's a mutant? Wow, Thanos is racist AND mutant-phobic! In all seriousness though, all Cable had to do was nothing to prevent his family's death. If he had stayed in the future, nobody would have broken Russel out so there would be no way in hell he'd have killed the headmaster let alone everyone else he did. Although according to the laws of time travel, the timeline Cable came from was the timeline that he went back in time and did everything exactly the way it happened up until Wade took that bullet for Russel. Because that's the moment the teddy bear lost its bloodstain. Because literally not a goddamn thing changed the course of history up until that exact moment, THAT IS THE EXACT FUCKING MOMENT IT BUTTERFLY EFFECTED ITS WAY TO HELL AND BACK. Cable's dead family is a direct result of him going back in time to kill Russel to save them and failing miserably. And god I love time travel paradoxes UGH I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH. We have to assume Cable failed and that's why he succeeded. THATS SO FUCKING STUPID.

And you know what else is stupid? Wade made it back to New York after breaking out of DMC. How is that stupid? Well, first of all, the facility wasn't looking for THEIR MOST DANGEROUS INMATE. Black Tom said it himself, Wade is the toughest cunt in there. Although Juggernaut is way more powerful but whatever. More on that later. Anyway, the facility got the riot back on lockdown despite Cable decimating most of the staff, and got everyone in line enough to get them to start convoying to the more secure location. Did they see that Wade was missing and decide "hey, fuck it, what can the literally most unkillable man in the world with the most enormous boner for revenge in the universe POSSIBLY do to us who forced him to slowly die of cancer all over again in a hell prison???" Fucking stupid. Even dumber is the actual X Men themselves not giving a shit that there was an attack on the ice box which is apparently Mike Pence's wet dream, not lifting a finger to so much as offer assistance TO ENSURE THE SAFETY AND REHABILITATION OF ALL OF THE MUTANT INMATES, or even so much as being like "hey guys is Wade doing okay dying from cancer in your Guantanamo Bay?". And dumber still than that is Colossus deciding that Wade deserves to slowly die of cancer since he killed a pedophile who abused a kid so bad he used his powers for destruction and murder and evil and eventually became one of the most deadly sociopathic murderers in the fucked up future world, rationalizing it because Wade broke the rules of being an X-man by killing, even though Wade didn't wanna be an X-man in the first place. Colossus dragged Wade from his suicide directly to the X manor to get his body healed, forced him along to a mission he didn't wanna be a part of, and then punished him for killing a pedophile by forcing him to die slowly from the cancer while getting the shit kicked out of him by convicts. AND THEN WADE APOLOGIZED TO COLOSSUS? ARE YOU FUCKING FOR REAL HERE? WADE WAS SUICIDAL AND COLOSSUS FORCED HIM INTO PRISON. Bad friend, 0/10.

Seriously, a queer military vet with ptsd and a fucked up past replete with daddy issues who developed cancer and was then tortured by a shadow organization went on a revenge spree followed by a murder spree as a mercenary, and expressed that he's a violent psychopath who won't hesitate to murder sex traffickers or pedophiles or people who threaten his girl, and watched said girl (the only good thing in his fucked up life) die right in his arms immediately after his life was about to go in a good direction and start a family and probably give up all of the murder business and just be the best dad in the world and give a good life to someone to make up for the one he never got himself, did a cocaine bender, and literally committed suicide. But his godforsaken mutation wouldn't let him die, so he couldn't even see his Vanessa again. He clearly has severe clinical depression and needed a FUCKING MENTAL HOSPITAL STAY, not being shoved into a planless feeble attempt to get him to join the Xmen (using him for an extra hand for missions), and he was allowed to BRING THE GUNS, and he was confronted with a physically and sexually abused CHILD with mutant powers he probably didn't ask for that ruined his life and got him sent to Essex, a BIG KNOWN HOTSPOT FOR PEDOPHILES, and he has a big problem with sex criminals (oh yeah and the girl he loved so much he killed himself when she died? sex worker with a life full of being sexually assaulted herself. let alone the fact that wade has been sexually assaulted as well). You take a queer, mentally ill, suffering man and push him past his breaking point, and let him bring guns to a pedophile nest, HE IS GOING TO KILL THE PEDOPHILES. Colossus is a fucking cunt in this situation in every single conceivable fashion. He dragged Wade out of the frying pan, and out of the fire, and into the fucking woodchipper, before stepping on him. The situation is so far behind fucked up that I don't even think the crew fully grasp the full gravity of the situation described. But I digress.

Things weren't all bad from this point on.

The recruitment was funny and full of people. Dopinder's reaction at Peter was amazing and I love him. Domino was fucking phenomenal and I loved her. I knew that everyone else was dead from the moment I saw them, though, but I still loved them anyway. Brad. fucking. Pitt. Great action scene all around. Josh Brolin is just the baddest of asses. Murphy's law is supreme.

Juggernaut's reveal was well done. Still dumb but not quite "AHM THE JUGGANAUT BITCH" dumb. Cool dumb. And then he Megatron'd Wade which was even cooler. I thought Russell joining him was a little dumb but it was quite a callback. Although it begs the question: Wade knew it was foreshadowing something and he knew that Juggernaut existed but he just isn't omniscient and the inconsistency is driving me fucking bonkers. This isnt the Deadpool of the comics. This is the movie Deadpool. And while I do like it I can't say it's without flaws. That's ok but still annoying as fuck. And then more flaws.

It's stupid that Colossus would react the way he did when he learned Wade was back. Well if Colossus was moping about because an entire convoy of mutants literally fucking died except for Juggernaut (PROFESSOR X'S BROTHER IN THIS CHRONOLOGY) and Russell, that's even dumber. If he learned Wade was back at that moment then he's not even paying attention to anything considering Deadpool was out and about. Negasonic and Yukio didn't look too surprised to see him. Lazy writing, lampshades, whatever, blah blah who even fucking cares.

The heroes show up just in time. Shocking. But of course if they didn't it'd be a boring movie.

The action scene was FANTASTIC. It balanced four different fight scenes all at once. Why Jug didn't rip Cable in half like he did Wade I won't ask, maybe because he's half robot I guess idk. Still, Wade/Cable, Domino, and Colossus kicked ass, and Russell's advance to the headmaster was beastly. Julian's acting wasn't the best and neither was Eddie's but I got what they went for and HOLY SHIT THE SCENE IS SO CHILLING, especially for queer youth. Bryan Singer could only dream of that level of subtle analogues.

I thought it was dumb that Cable was all like "if Russell kills then he'll be an evil monster since killing is wrong" even though literally every one of the people there have killed several people that fucking day. Cable killed many, Wade killed many, Domino killed many. Granted they killed mostly pedophiles but they also killed a lot of DMC people & innocent civilians (accidentally). But again he was grieving so whatever.

Negasonic and Yukio had their moment too, I just wish there was more. But that's what the threequel is for. WE WANT MORE LESBIANS!

Wade has balls, I'll give him that. Where he kept that power nullifier I'll never know. [also... fuck that noise. they just have a collar that turns off mutant powers? ORORO WILL HAVE A FUCKIN ANEURYSM. and marie will have an orgasm. for once in her life. hahaha references]. But it was still a great scene. Russell is actually a really good character, if he is a bit Woobie, Destroyer Of Worlds. But I like that trope. Simon from Cry of Fear is one of my favorite characters in that respect; sympathetic even to the very end if he kills Purnell and Sophie (god that monologue is so haunting... "have fun cleaning my brains off the wall. FUCK YOU."). He's basically just a mini Wade but a mutant first. And it allowed Wade to have a defining character moment.

And what a moment. There's a quote that was said about The Princess Bride that I feel works here. It was about the Inigo fight with Rugen. "A comedy is only as strong as the moment when it stops being funny." And the moment when Inigo stabs Rugen, and says "I want my father back, you son of a bitch." is just permanently etched in my mind because the entire movie you watch with a smile up until right at that moment. And when Wade finally bites it, you think "oh, he'll just wake up again and make another joke" but he doesn't. He doesn't move again. He shows up on death's door. And you hear the acoustic version of Take On Me. And he walks through the fog door, and he's got his skin back. He did it, he's finally reunited with Vanessa. And Cable looks away, and you start to piece together where they're going with it, and he goes back, and you wonder wtf is this, and it returns to the present day and Wade digs in the wound AND PULLS OUT THE SKEE BALL TOKEN HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS OH MY GOD THATS THE COOLEST SHIT IVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE JESUS CHRIST ON A STICK.

THE ENTIRE ENDING SCENE IS SO ICONIC.

And the whipped cream on top of the sundae is the headmaster getting creamed in the middle of his tirade. And then Dopinder's reaction is the cherry.

After that it kinda does the sappy ending which is fine for what it is. And then it brings in all the fourth wall breaking time travel shenanigans, drenching it in sap and Ryan Reynolds' brains.

The music is just OH MY GOD amazing. Yeah there's the pina colada song and skrillex and celine dion and ac/dc and enya and pat benatar and peter gabriel and cher and steve miller and for some reason diplo/french montana/lil pump but THOSE ARE ALL ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD OKAY???

The movie is chock full of amazing lines.

The fights are all really fluid and visceral.

The cinematography is always on point.

The plot formula is shaken up a little bit.

Several pedophiles die incredibly violently.

ITS A REALLY GREAT MOVIE, FOR REAL.

I'd literally say it's better than the first one.

All of the plot contrivances in the first half are negligible and are barely even problems unless you overanalyze them too much. Like I do.

And I also watched all of the extras... Celine Dion is such a good sport, really, and honestly kind of a dork and super endearing and I love her honestly and think she caught too much flak for being a) a woman b) popular c) in the worst 'romance' movie ever made tifuckintanic god I hate that movie so much despite loving kate winslett, leonardo dicaprio, and james cameron as much as I really loathe to admit it. And Ashes is a really good song.

And I never thought I'd say this but... Lil Pump has really nice flow. I really kinda hope he isn't the dead one. I despise French Montana but I love Sia and by extension Diplo (because LSD), and the song they did for the movie was... bad. But I'll probably be checking out Lil Pump soon.

And anyway the winter solstice mtv unplugged acoustic version of take on me? Beautiful.

I enjoyed this movie a lot, despite the nitpicks.

Thank you Canada. 🇨🇦

[cryptoriawebb]

About Deadpool 2...

I said I would talk about it...and then I ran out of time. So I’m gonna do that, now!

Spoiler alert!

So...I liked this movie a lot better than the first, but I still didn’t find most of it funny. I know why it is funny, I can point all the jokes out, but I didn’t start laughing until much later. Deadpool caters to a different type of humor. Nothing wrong with that, it’s just not me. 

However.

The characters, the action, the cameos and the very X-men feel overall I loved. Best new additions? Domino, Cable, and this reboot-timeline version of Yukio. She’s so adorable! And don’t get me started on the JUGGERNAUT! Heavy use of CGI or no, I have waited over a decade to see a Cain Marko that actually acknowledges his relation to Charles.  I don’t even care if Deadpool exists in its own continuity until proven otherwise I’m counting it canon. THANK YOU, Deadpool team for confirming Charles’ horrible upbringing. Weird thing to say, I know, but up until now no one in the XMCU’s bothered to emphasize his personal tragedy. It’s important the audience--any who might be unfamiliar with the X-men story outside the films--know it isn’t only villains whom tragedy makes. 

Speaking of tragedy, I find it funny the Deadpool films draw from classic cliches, but somehow manage to keep them fresh and distinctly, well, “Deadpool.” I quite like his relationship with Vanessa and also liked how the film went beyond what one might expect of “death and revival” with a healing mutation. Reminded me a little of Jack Harkness, honestly. It also served to keep Deadpool’s humanity intact and in turn kept him from devolving into nothing more than a walking pop-culture reference. 

As far as the pop-culture references go, there were times I felt the script went a little over the top with them. Even more than the first film. I’m not the world’s biggest Deadpool fan so I’m not sure how often he does this outside the movies but within said movie context I much prefer occasional sprinklings as opposed to a heaping platter.  It threatened to disrupt the flow of the film once or twice, even if this is more a comedy/satire. Same with breaking the fourth wall. That said, I adored the DC references. And the post-credits scenes ;)

(Although if I’m being honest, I do still like Origins and the tragic spin on Wade’s character even if it was an abomination of the Deadpool everyone loves.)

And I cried a little inside, seeing that archived footage of Hugh. I will miss you, Wolverine. 

Let’s see, what else...

Oh yeah! The characters!

Great to see Negasonic again (Ellie, I think her name is?) Kinda wish she played a larger role, but her appearances didn’t disappoint and her powers are still SO COOL. Also love the “moody goth x pink-haired bubbly girl” trope. It’s adorable. Like I said, I adore this new Yukio even if her new incarnation differs from her original timeline counterpart. I loved original Yukio’s quirky but serious nature, and her relationship with Logan. Maybe that’s what it is, I’m still not over Logan and all these references in the film further remind me he’s not coming back.  That isn’t Yukio’s fault. I do love this new version, I do. She’s adorable and so is her interaction with Wade. I have to wonder, though...can she still see how people die? Or is new “Pinkie Pie” Yukio strictly a lightning mutant? I wish Fox paid more attention to its timelines...Deadpool or no Deadpool.

Domino was amazing. I didn’t really know much about her, going in, despite knowing of her. Couldn’t have picked a better way to handle or cast her. What a cool way to interpret her powers! Luck truly be the Lady~

As for Cable...I was so afraid he’d become a parody of the character I knew. When I was younger, he fascinated me as a character and I retain a soft spot for him. My gosh though he was AWESOME. Stayed the serious-Terminator-badass the entire time. Desperately hope we see more before Fox’s final day. Please. I love Cable and I’d love even more to see him cross paths with the X-men. Especially Scott. 

Colossus was...the same. No real comments there. I like how he pairs next to Wade as the goody-goody straight-man but I prefer his original actor XD; I guess it doesn’t much matter, new-wonky timeline. For all we know, Piotr was able to grow up in Russia now, hence the accent.

I loved the villains too, apart from Cain. Black Tom Cassidy (what is he, Sean’s nephew or something now??), poor Russel (a neat take on the to-be antagonist idea) and I gotta tell you, as a long-time fan I am LOVING all these references to the Essex name. Been a long-time coming! And to know there exist other “Mutant homes” besides Xavier’s school...it’s heartbreaking but fascinates me all at once. This new world where mutants aren’t so hush-hush. Damn! I wonder though...do the X-men know of the Ice Box? Makes you think... (By the way, that cameo scene, oh my gosh that was great. I wouldn’t want to deal with Wade either, guys.)

Gotta love the “formation” of the X-force, too. Of course Deadpool would start it and of course everyone would die XD; What a great way to sneak in cameos. I only wish Chris Evans’ Torch made it past the script drafts. I am glad kid!David made it in, though (according to my research after the film. You know that was intentional...the real question is do we now consider it “canon” or is this but another breach in reality? ;) )

There really wasn’t all that much I didn’t care for, apart from the excessive...what I’ll call “Deadpool-ness.” Silly complaint when it’s his movie but I said my piece on that. The only real moment I feel might’ve served from a slim-down was his dying sequence at the end. I get what they were trying to do, and it was funny at first; after a while, though, it started dragging. Maybe that’s just me. I don’t know. 

Overall, I really did love it, I want to see it again and I am definitely adding this to my collection when it’s released on DVD. 

[icarusredwings]

I rewatched Deadpool 2 and took notes.

Disclaimer: He's mentally ill and does mentally ill things (GASP, who would have thought?). Also, violence. A lot of violence. It's really long. Like.. really really long.

The very first words he says is "fuck wolverine"

Then blows his own head off with a shit ton of gasoline. Wonder if he had insurance on that appartment.

He started taking worldwide cases

He also admits to knowing "8th grade spanish"

"Passion of the christ. Then me." Says the man whos marvel jesus now.

I wonder how much wade owes cab guy.

Cab guy killed bandu Lmao

"What is it?"

"My IUD"

"A bomb??" Tell me why he was lowkey excited for it to be a bomb?

I love how serious he gets talking about how scared he is to be a dad.

This empire joke traveled from the first movie too.

"Pretty sure it doesn't work that way but we can try" yes.

When making toaster strudles its almost as if he could sense them coming despite it being so silent. This kind of makes me think that Logans not the only one who just jumps up sometimes.

This man really just said "Fuck it" jumped out of a 2 story window, BOLTED after this guy as fast as he could, got hit by a car, rammed another car, and whole ass hugged this guy before jumping in front of a truck with him. I don't want to see anyone try to tell me he's one sandwitch drop away from jumping off a cliff.

Cinatography by Blind Al.

Directed by one of those guys that killed john wicks dog.

God I love Ryan Reynolds because you know it was him.

Wade stop peeing your pants in public.

Weasel "We still have bowie..." Yeah id lie to him too at this point.

"Yeah im fine"

Fucked up

Insecure

Needy and

Emotional. Kübler ross apprently.

"Buck no more speaking lines for you" and he meant that shit.

Al is so humble and sweet. Making tea and giggling. Tries to shoot him and then just hears him collapse on the floor. How many times do you think he collapses on the floor a week? Just to be drimatic?

"Sweetheart can you speak up? Its a little hard to hear you with yhat pity dick in your mouth" Oh so shes his mom. Al is his fucking mom. Hands down. And the best one.

I love how he decided to do an entire bag of cocaine before dying. There was no reason for it and honestly was a waste of cocaine until you realize that these cocaine is wades whiskey. Shots dont work for him really, probably because hes already done it so much, but its the same way how Logan chugs that bottle before wade kidnaps him. Its easier to blame it on a substance then accept those were your actions.

Ness is so cute. The poster behind her has "I love you wade wilson" scratched into it. Its nice to know that his version of heaven is literally just a cozy Saturday morning with his wife.

Colossus just walking in to find wades body parts everywhere and put him in a bag like old dirty clothes lol

"Why cant I fucking die" tone was SO serious.

The fact that theres an x men rule book and its lowkey thicker then a bible. I bet you scott and Logan made 80% of those.

"That asshole was me" oh the tears. Baby boyy.

Wait isnt cable literally scotts son.

Im never going to understand this fucking time line jesus christ

Mutant rehabilitation?? What is he a drug addict? That kid is clearly in pain dipshits.

"X men trainee" is so funny

"Please stop cheating on me"

Daniel the pedophile looking ass

Bro casually signs ryan reynolds on the wolverine cereal box and then destroys his knee caps.

"Those guys hurt you??" It was at that moment, wade went ape shit.

Wade having fun in prison is so him. But come on imagine going to prison just for standing up to an abused child. Not to mention, His face when he immediately realizes how fucked he is and that "oh shit I actually DO have cancer now and it SUCKS"

Is it just me or does Cable reminds you of forge with all his cool fix it abilities. Or is he just futurey.

He didn't say were not friends to make him upset but to draw attention to himself. Him just eye rolling when stabbed in the hand was so funny too because he was like "Ouch. God damn it. Ducking OUCH."

Hes literally pleading with russel to find someone else to peotect him or hes gonna get molested because he cant do anything. His entire power is replacing dead cells WITH new cancer cells. His entire body is dying 24/7 but never fast enough to actually kill him, always regrowing way too quickly. Cancerous is better then dead.

"Get away from me kid" yeah cause he knows hes trouble and he REALLY doesn't wanna watch this kid die.

"Who the hell tries to kill a 14 year old boy"

"Kids give us a chance to be better then we used to be"

Dopinder is so wholesome. I love him so much. No i dont care that he killed a guy. Hes the type of friend you call to take to the movies or the zoo once every year and hes stoked just to be invited.

Peter: I just thought it looked fun :D

Dopinder: FUCK

Peter is that one dad whos kids left the nest and now he needs friends and a hobby so searches for the biggest weirdos he can find.

"Grab the boy- NOT INAPPROPRIATELY >:("

i love his crayon maps/plans

Oh my god weasel im not telling you anything ever again you snitch (same dude, cable is terrifying)

After crying over the love he has for his new team (x force) Wade confirms that he spent 10 years in special forces.

I love how supportive wade is with Peter despite him just being a normal dude only for him to immediately die LMAO

He just cassually lets his impulse win in which he steals a moped.

Oh i just noticed Dominos vitiligo. I always loved vitiligo charaters. Theyre so unique and barley ever given movie roles. Like why not?? Why wouldnt you want someone so beautiful? Im pretty sure she just has make up but it would be cool if not.

Something else is that cable just starts yeeting criminals out onto the street lol

"Theres nothing I cant kill" Let me intorduce you to the man whos on a constant road to dying but can never actually get there.

Im assuming cable wants to kill russel because he unleashes a big bad guy or something.

*cassually snaps neck back into place* Oh god that hurt!

Oh I was right! It was Juggernaut :)

Wade: *gets excited about being PHYSICALLY ripped in half*

"Rub my legs mama 🥺 I got growing pains"

"Oh noo! No no no Dp not again!" We love you Dopinder. Do not ever stop caring. "This shits happened before!?" Yes weasel. Sometimes your friends get ripped in half. Get used to it.

Wade just moves her gun to the right position.

Wade talking about saving russel is so serious that it makes you forget that he has a tiny baby ass rn. I couldn't make a deal with someone woth tiny baby legs... just... no. Not to mention that those baby legs are made of cancer.

"50 years from now you're super fucking dead"

Wade standing outside of the xmen mansion with his phone and a picture of a boom box playing music for Colossus to come outside and help him save russel is something i can see happening to Logan. They have a fight and he storms off to the mansion only for wade to stand outside like that.

"Hi Wade🎀✨️" "Hi Yukio!🥹 you guys make a super cute couple 😊 where was I? 🤨"

"So you wear a helmet so your brother cant read your mind?" "Yeaaahh" average kid conversations.

"Lets fuck some shit up is my legal middle name"

Okay sir edgelord.

Apprently wade has a gluten sensitivity

What is it with wade and metal men??? My man has a type.

"Im just gonna use this brick and maximum effort" Same wade. Same.

Yaayy!! Go yukio! Eveyone loves yukio.

"Thats how we do it in mother russia" What? Shoving an electrical cable up their ass and then put them in a pool? Damn. Ok.

That "I never should have never left you in that prison" with the hug? Man hed be a decent dad I think.

"Dont be ive been trying to make this happen for awhile" okay someone supervise him 24/7. Hes on the active watch list.

Wade: *is dying* Hi Yukio :D

Yukio: Hi wade :)

"R-dog" Oh my god hes too cute.

Them carrying the racist joke all the way til the end made me cringe but that was the point.

His last words being "do you wanna build a snow man?" Is such a deadpool thing.

I was NOT expecting to cry at the end of this stupid ass movie, AGAIN

"Dont fuck colossus" VANESSA KNEW

THE FUCKING COIN

"Is there a knife in my dick?" "There's a knife in your dick."

Oh I just didn't even notice she has heterochromancia! <3 Aahh!!

PFFT DOPINDERS SECOND CONFIRMED KILL

"WERE DEFINITELY NAMINF OUR KID CHER"

"Dont scratch!" *shoots himself 8 times* "Love you! Bye."

Wolverine: ???