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lambentskies · 2 years ago

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So I responded to a post about the himbofication (lbr, it’s just bimbofication because bimbo is the original word because it was originally referring to men, then misogyny happened and—/breathes) of Nerevar via my main, but I figured I might delve a little further into the relationships between him, the Tribunal, Voryn, and Dumac fed by many years of RP and noodling with fanfic (which is not set in the same universe as said RP but honestly I should do fic for it because my buddy is frankly awesome and responsible for me being into this mess of a series at all and I just wanna tuck his Nerevar/ine in bed and never let anything bad happen to him ever).

Additionally, a friend suggested that “himbo” is a status effect and this is my favourite use for it officially and resolves a lot of my disagreement with it as an archetype.

BUT ONWARDS.

note: Because this is all my interpretation, I do treat “What My Beloved Taught Me” as canon. “Sermon 0″ is treated as a twisting of truth by someone who doesn’t quite understand it but is also trying to undermine it.

So. Headcanon babble. This will bounce around between people.

Nerevar and Almalexia have a half-happy, half-conflict-ridden marriage. They argue and bicker (or Almalexia does; Nerevar just lets her go on unless he’s spurred to respond) because she has expectations to meet, pushing them onto her husband. On the battlefield, they are perfect together: in sync and flowing and the devastation in their wake is breath-taking. Their bed is not often his, and Almalexia feels mingled guilt and anger about this. Part of this is due, again, to those expectations set on Lexi: since childhood, she’s been pushed to be this example of perfection, this gentleness, this mercy. Why? Because of the Nords. If she’s allowed to be who she is (fierce and defiant and a weapon she wants to forge herself into for her own desires because she is a warrior, not a maiden), she risks being deemed a threat and likely killed (there is also the chance that she will be too foolhardy to know when she ought to act and not, and thus invite disaster to the Mourning Hold). So she has to curb her identity her entire life, which leads to an explosive temper and decades of frustration and Nerevar is just... a convenient target. It’s never his fault unless his actions risk disgrace to her (which is more conflict between his position as her husband vs her House’s politics when he chooses to disagree or call something out or otherwise rebel against something long-established).

Reminder that my headcanon for Nerevar is that he has Nord blood. House Indoril occasionally cites this for reasons to Start Shit, which also presses on Almalexia’s back. It’s just an incredibly toxic situation. Frankly, without the House’s pressures and without Almalexia’s history of repression, if she were ever allowed to be herself? They would have had a happy enough marriage, actually. And they have a good enough time outside of those moments. Would that Lexi’d just talked to him about her other partners and that might have helped things, too.

I also think, if they’d had the time, option, and help, a lot of this could have been worked out. But there never was time. Too many things happened too quickly in succession, and then Nerevar was dead.

Almalexia and Vivec are... catty, but get along well enough. She sees him as half a nuisance and half useful, and he feels about the same. Almalexia took charge of making sure he looked presentable even if he adamantly refused to wear Indoril’s name or colours, and she made sure he knew House etiquette even if he kind of... waved it all off. There was mutual envy between them, as well: Lexi envied him because he lived his life as he wanted despite the relative confinement of the role he accepted—he chose it. Vivec envied the notion of having a home, having a life without the difficulties he’d faced. Comfort.

While Nerevar was married to Almalexia, the closest way to describe his relationship to Vivec is both “trusted companion” (as Vivec was who he trusted most of them, having been the reason he even turned down this path) and something more nebulous. Vivec is something more of an emotional attachment than either of them would probably like to admit, in that way where it could be some latent romantic inclination or just... clinging to shared experience. Vivec and Nerevar both came up from a nothing sort of life and are punching forward to some outcome that betters the lives of everyone around them (albeit in different ways, different reach—Nerevar wanting to bring people together through Resdayn, Vivec seeking Amaranth). Vivec is Nerevar’s whispered support, his guidance, and Vivec owes his livelihood and loyalty to Nerevar. They work well together and complement each other in battle in different ways than Nerevar and Almalexia. Vivec is not a frontliner, rather more the spymaster, and playing more to sabotage and attacks of opportunity, but this helps thin the herd and create opportunities for that frontline angle Nerevar takes.

Vivec is also the means through which Nerevar learns about the others, being much better at reading people and manipulating them, just along with his role as a spy. Vivec is also a source of gossip and some tension relief, because he... might doodle stupid things on his meeting notes when bored and they might force Nerevar to keep a straight face if they’re passed to him before they’re alone.

Speaking of notes, Nerevar and Sotha Sil are responsible for Vivec’s literacy. Lessons don’t really take if you don’t have reason to practice, and Vivec’s childhood was... well. Being orphaned at a young enough age that none of what he did learn stuck. He knew letters but not reading or writing (well) when he met Nerevar; while Nerevar took care of the basics to the best of his abilities while they were canvasari guards, Sil took over once he joined them.

Vivec and Sotha Sil are close enough in age that Vivec will make remarks to the extent of calling him “kid” or “little” (despite the stark difference in their heights—Vivec’s growth has been stunted due to early living conditions, and Sil has gigantism) and it can and occasionally does devolve into (harmless, light-hearted) arguments. It makes the lessons a little odd to look at, sometimes, and that’s not even getting into the maths lessons... Vivec has more than once interrupted those because sharp mind or no, the style of the lessons weren’t always the most engaging things. Their general relationship is a comfortable one that sways between this peer teaching where Sil teaches Vivec academics, and Vivec teaches Sil in turn about people, and something sexual. If Vivec were less focused on his end-goal and Sotha Sil more vocal to his own wants, it’s possible it would have become something more devoted than the casual thing it is.

(All that said, I should note that polyamoury is neither uncommon nor taboo, neither are extra-marital arrangements.)

Nerevar and Sotha Sil get along... well, downright pleasantly, and Nerevar runs into the least harsh criticism with Sil. Whether this is because of Sil being respectful in how he handles himself with critique or if Sil is more accepting of the way Nerevar makes his decisions is difficult to know. They have very different internal pacing, where Nerevar is more immediate and sharp turns and Sil is more long-term planning. They do occasionally clash and disagree on how to go about things, but it’s rarely in any sort of demeaning manner. Nerevar is a warm presence in Sotha Sil’s life, and he never fails to appreciate this, especially because Nall’s death has never left him. This is also why Sil feels the impact of Nerevar’s death most immediately and why his guilt is the most obviously consuming. There was a love there and he betrayed it.

Sotha Sil and Almalexia are more... well, respectful. She’s a little sharp to him because his House is a lesser one, and destroyed, but the more they’re around each other, the more they bond. It’s a strange thing, and neither would be able to really explain why, but it’s a slow and awkward if invisible process. In part, it’s Sil’s proximity to Vivec leading to him joining in on the teaching of general etiquette and keeping him looking decent. In part, it’s something of a mutual fascination on some level. He sees her ferocity, she sees his grief, they both bury everything under masks.

They all bury themselves under masks, make of themselves unbreakable stone. It’s just a pity Almalexia, Sotha Sil, and Vivec’s methods and corrections and selves lend to carving Nerevar to something more brittle than they’d like to admit to. They bury their guilt under the masks of godhood and justify it all in whatever way they can... though Sotha Sil cracks first.

Voryn Dagoth is another matter. He is... civil, at best, with the future-Tribunal, but it’s plain his loyalty belongs to Nerevar alone. He appreciates the goal of the unification, even as he questions and scowls at the presence of the Dwemer in all this (as do many, and Voryn leans more heavily on the angle of “ceasefire” rather than “truce” as House Dagoth has long been more immediately in conflict with the Dwemer settled on Vvardenfell). He’s very drawn to Nerevar, and unless Dumac is involved, he is usually very solidly in support of Nerevar’s chosen course. But Voryn is sharp-tongued when he isn’t being quiet, so when he disagrees, it’s clear. He’s also not terribly versed in people, being less social than any of the others, so there are... problems with communication at times.

Particularly with Vivec.

There’s a sort of rivalry between Voryn and Vivec that not infrequently drives Nerevar up the wall. It’s as much for Nerevar’s attention outside of the council meetings and trying to pull him in a certain direction as it is Voryn’s disdain for seers. Their personalities clash just so, and it’s a largely unfixable thing with the time they’re allotted. Vivec also doesn’t care to fix it and neither does Voryn, both deeming it unnecessary and just tolerating the other’s presence. Would that they did! The both of them are fond of the arts, music, and poetry, and it would be easy for them to find neutral ground.

Voryn is fine with Almalexia, basic respect afforded other nobility for propriety and civility’s sake; she’d prefer to take him somewhere for political things than either Sil or Vivec, though. Sil receives the same basic respect unless he’s going off on some Telvanni-inspired tangent, though they can have some heated conversations about Dwemer tech. He’s just not interested in making friends, though. Part of that, in fairness, is House-fostered paranoia; House Dagoth is not the friendliest, and shuns plenty.

(A lot of my Voryn-specific headcanons are still cooking.)

And then we come around to Dumac, who I have the least headcanon for.

Dumac is probably the single most positive influence in Nerevar’s life, though. Their friendship is genuine, and one that formed following the agreement for truce. Outside of meetings, their conversations are usually very casual, and Nerevar maybe opens up to him a little more than he does to anyone else. While Vivec can read his moods, Dumac will actually tend to them, and Nerevar is a listening ear to Dumac in turn. They both feel the weight of their positions and commiserate.

Vivec is wary of him due to a prior run-in with a different collective of Dwemer. Sotha Sil just doesn’t agree with a lot of Dwemer tech, but he is mostly neutral towards Dumac (though they can both get going about some tech-related things). Almalexia is formally polite but only to prevent an incident, as she doesn’t have much reason to associate with Dumac outside of those meetings. Voryn would rather walk out of the room when Dumac is there and can’t, so their conversations are limited and often curt on Voryn’s part.

All of these nerds could get along if they just talked and worked things out. None of them are inherently incompatible, though Voryn and Dumac would probably have the hardest time of it, followed by Voryn and Vivec.

Have an entire AU where they do work this shit out and it’s very much “harem ending” for Nerevar, oops. Dumac off to the platonic side like “lol”.

Places where their relationships could be mended or improved:

Vivec and Voryn: bonding over music and poetry, coming to understand each other through those discussions as the arts are often (but not always) reflections or commentary. Voryn would never find Vivec’s doodles amusing, but yanno? He might agree with what the intent is in them.

Nerevar and Almalexia: breaking away from the fist of Indoril would do them both good, as would Lexi being open about where her issues stem from, if she could be helped to identify that herself. If she had one single “this isn’t who I am” outburst and Nerevar intercepted it?

Voryn and Sotha Sil: ...actually this is already pretty neutral.

Voryn and Almalexia: given I see Voryn as basically a spell-slinging D&D monk, let them spar it out and Voryn gets the opportunity to make some positive remark about her skill and otherwise praises her for it. Small steps.

Vivec and Dumac: Just... get to know each other. Dumac holds no ill-will towards Vivec, so this is entirely on Vivec’s end. Just talk. Just communicate.

Vivec and Nerevar: ...so this relationship is fine on the surface, but the problem is how goal-oriented they both are. Ultimately being friends on a deeper level is sabotaged because Vivec is pinning his plan between them, even after Nerevar brings Vivec in as part of his own. Allowing himself to see Nerevar as more than a pawn would do them both a world of good.

So with the Nerevarine... what.

Sotha Sil openly and immediately regrets his part in Nerevar’s death (whatever that part was; the Red Moment makes it hard to know since everything is true). I incorporate the Sotha Sil Expanded general plot into my headcanon because I Damn Well Can, and Sotha-Sil-As-Gestalt quietly wishes there was more he could do or say for some measure of comfort.

Almalexia was driven mad in part by her guilt, so her reaction to seeing the Nerevarine hits something deep and makes her want to open herself to them as much as it makes her want to break them under her heel because she doesn’t want to accept that guilt. So she behaves as she does, of three minds when she goes to kill the Nerevarine.

Nerevar’s death is Vivec’s greatest regret, but it isn’t enough to make him want to undo everything he’s done to reach this point. He buries it in his sermons and in personal writings that never see the light of day, because if he gives into it... It mingles with his worry that he’s been wrong in his path (something he confides in Sil). He has to hope that he wasn’t wrong. Has to hold himself together when confronting the Nerevarine, but he is proud of their accomplishments, hopes it’s enough.

The Nerevarine is brings a twisted joy to Dagoth Ur, and most of that is reflected in the dreams he sends them. It’s a celebration and a hope and a vengeance all in one. He isn’t sure which is what he truly feels, and the Nerevarine can’t know. He doesn’t but he does but can’t but he must hate and celebrate. Dagoth Ur is a little too caught up in the upside-down divine hivemind he’s made of himself and his House.

The Nerevarine, in turn, has no idea what to make of all these ancient weirdos—no, there are thoughts there, too. Sil, there’s regret they couldn’t save him (so they think). Almalexia, they want to know why it hurts so bad to feel disposable. Vivec, there’s a sense of betrayal and hitting a wall. Dagoth Ur, there is grief and betrayal. It’s all very messy, and they don’t have adequate ways to handle it.

small edit, some 10-ish hours later: I’m still missing a ton from this, I just can’t... brain putting it down anymore. I’ll do a follow-up or something maybe eventually. Maybe toss in some stuff about how Alandro fits into all this.

#attack of the run-on sentences!#i actually started getting sleepy in the middle of it oops #you can tell who i write more i think...#need'a write more ante-murder and also work on this v'voryn fic #nerevar is LOUDLY inspired by my buddy tho #same as dumac #i was trying to think of the places i differed but lol #most of that is in nerevar and vivec because... my usual focus

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