#neither one of us can drive
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It's my 26th birthday and I get to spend it hysterically crying and going through everything I own trying to figure out what I need to throw out and what I can sell bc the possibility of me being homeless very soon just keeps getting higher
#idk what im gonna do i cant lose everything but idk how we arw gonna find a new place to live or any way to get stuff into storage bc#neither one of us can drive
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the more i think abt goldica the more i like it
#mine#like yes i get it theyre boring straight people booo but hear me out .#the fact chica is goldens main motivation for joining the animatronics triggering his whole arc?#the fact chia is the beakon of what golden wants? a good person who will love hil wothout asking anything in return?#and their first meeting perfectly encamsulates that? when golden is feeling miserable and as lonely as ever and she comes in out of nowhere#and does a nice act for him without getting anything in return?#and he follows her wherever she leads after that because he truly believes no one else would love him like that?#and the way he loves her strange quirks that have pushed people away bc his loyalty to her is unshakable?#and it just adds to her being different from all the people who have claimed to love him but ended up using him?#and how she sees golden not sjowing up for practice as a betrayal because she trusted him and at the end of the day#it was chica who created the band and hisbloyalty to her should also be to the band? so him flaking on the band is flaking on her?#and the way neither of them want to show their weak moments? the way they never speak of what haunts them? and that is effectively what#makes their relationship fall apart? even thougj they lobe wach othee deeply? because they simoly cant be vulnerable and honest?#because they dont want to be weak in front of the othee?#can anyone hear me#im going insane#ive been planning an analyisis of goldica but i havent gotten around to rewatching the series to make it#and its driving me crazy i think#fnafhs
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#I also keep seeing modern au aubrey-maturin art#that makes me wish I could draw and thereby contribute#unfortunately I can't even *write* modern aus generally. but I like transferring character dynamics from place to place in my brain#and I feel like I could do a university AU very nicely if I could do AUs at all#because I have had rowers in my class with as far as I could tell jack's exact personality#(unfortunately it has to be a US university AU because (a) that's what I know and (b) afaik nobody else does randomly assigned roommates)#(and I cannot pass up the opportunity for randomly assigned roommates.#OR RATHER#for 'you seem more or less human - quick let's request each other so we don't have to go into potluck'#I think that works best)#(but maybe they are both international students anyway. that works fine. & therefore extremely alarmed by potluck [can't say they're wrong]#sophie is a sorority girl. english major I think. and I can see her so clearly#(she's the part I want to draw)#she's not that into the high-octane social schedule her sorority expects her to have#but her pushy mother was a member and it is Unthinkable that sophie should not be#and a lot of the other girls are sweet :) so it's fine :) she says#feel like she has roommate issues (unlike her original self she is able to live away from mrs williams so this makes up for that)#so she's always over in jack and stephen's room. people who know her tangentially sometimes gossip about which one she's actually dating#(at that particular moment it is actually neither of them she's just hanging out with stephen)#diana freed from the shackles of 19th century womanhood creates even more and weirder drama than in canon#idk I just want to see the plot of post captain played out over text message#don't ask me HOW idk HOW i just want it#stephen is a biology major/pre-med obvs. if he can survive organic chemistry#jack is some kind of engineering major. I think he'd enjoy that with the math. diana has changed her major 7 times#(I don't know whether to put jack in rotc. I don't think it Actually actually fits - he's in the navy in canon because he's in the navy#not bc he's Inevitably Military In All Worlds. he would not want to do that if he didn't get to sail#but at the same time I find it hard to picture him not belonging to Discipline somehow.#it's more than a disinterested passion for cleanliness that drives him to wash stephen's mug for him that has had coffee and ramen in it#(and NOT in that order)#in the bathroom sink
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Feeling like I just rolled a nat 20 in life
#my friend and i were out walking and she saw a shooting star and i didn’t see it and she felt bad#so we decided on a whim to drive up to the cliffs (where we figured there’d be good visibility) and look for more#there were two people there stargazing so we felt like we were on the right track#WERE WE#WE SAW SIX SHOOTING STARS. a whole meteor shower!!!!!#then i look it up and the perseid meteor shower is happening NOW. neither of us had any knowledge of this#it’s the way we rocked up completely unprepared; having seen one shooting star and with no idea that there’d be any more#just hoping there’d be more. and there were TONS#we were completely unprepared. she was wearing shorts. i just had a thin fleece on. we had to sit on a damp bench. it was COLD#i definitely want to intentionally do this again. i’m thinking we can find an even better spot#we can bring my picnic blanket (i’m 6’1 and i don’t fuck around so every side is 6 and a half feet long so two people can lie on it easy)#and we can bundle up to the eyeballs and bring hot beverages and binoculars#we really showed up with no plan no equipment no idea if it was a good spot and saw a whole meteor shower though. i love that#personal
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tw: anorexia, eating disorder, rape, pedophilia
The men that exploit you for sex under the guise of a relationehip when you have an active restrictive eating disorder are not attracted to adults and in this essay, I will...
#text#if i can save one person i will#neither children nor women with EDs have sex drives#what is so appealing about a dry vagina? OH WAIT LOL#and then someone of us weigh as much as a child/teen#tw ed not ed sheeren#tw ed descussion
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Phantom Driver/Punch it Old Man!
Danny and Danni on The Ghost Bike. Featuring Bottle the Bunny Backpack.
#danny phantom#danni phantom#neither actually needs a helmet but here they are#danny forces Danni to wear one so she forces him to wear one as welll (cycle ad infinit)#What happens when you let the son of mad scientists who spent the majority of his teen years reverse engineering weaponry design a vehicle#the Ghost Bike as its know has basically more tricks up its sleeve than even the GAV#his favorite trick is the self-driving feature which can hone in on ectosignetures#meaning he can summon it and use it as a battering ram in fights#its powered with ectoplasm and fine tuned to his signature so only he and Danni can drive it#hes tried to specificy but its no good#so babi driver prevails#the bike also acts as a portable portal generator#can turn intangible#and is basically immune to gravity and therefore capable of going the speed of light#unfortunately it is also classified as a major biohazard and has been confiscated many times#the bunny bag was a gift for her third birthday and has its own personal red hood helmet and leather jacket#his name is Bottle and he is Danni’s most prized possession#(he also has a Superboy suit and a phantom suit#the jacket and helmet are just for driving)
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What compelled me to make this
#jasonnie#not dumping this in the tag#neither of these boys can legally drive#donnie doesn't get a license and jase doesn't really bother to learn#partially cause his boyfriend can fucking fly#doing the height difference thing was weird so I just used their endgame one
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My mum met Juno for the first time yesterday and she adored her. Apparently she’d like to steal Juno, and honestly once her garden is secured and Juno’s a little easier to handle, I’d probably let her.
I’m just glad that she mostly behaved during my mums visit, she’s slowly getting better at settling in public. Juno is very good at first impressions, which makes me seem really mean when I call her a swine (affectionately)
#that lil squirrel was a gift from mother#seems like everyone brings her a little gift when they see her it’s very very sweet#i find it really hard seeing my mum because even though we’re only an hour apart neither of us drive#buses are an absolute pain and take ages#doesn’t help that we have to catch more than one to get to eachother#plus we both have health issues so sometimes spending 2 hours on a bus each way can be really difficult#i love her so much though and when I get my lisence I’m gonna take her on dogs walks with me
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trying to remember that good friends enjoy doing occasional favors for the people they love and it's not weird to ask them for help when you need it..............
#asking for help is literally a skill#one i have not learned in my life lmao#i was just talking to my brother about how neither of us know how to ask favors - big small or in between#''can you vacuum the living room'' is just as terrifying to ask someone as big things like ''can you drive me to the airport''#its so much easier to just figure things out yourself even if it sucks and its overwhelming and you have plenty of people who WOULD help#if you just asked#this is probably the biggest hurdle i've had to face as an adult. truly#because as a kid/teenager this behavior made me independent and mature for my age#but as an adult it makes me exhausted and lonely and i'm NOT capable of doing everything on my own#but instead of sharing that burden i just. let a lot of stuff go unfinished#even important stuff#and it's so hard to break this habit but i'm TRYINGGGG#even though 2024 is trying to kill me i'm trying so hard 😭😭😭
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i’m fr gonna lose my mind :)
#been a minute since i’ve ranted in the tags on here hi hello#so i have this friend who is driving me absolutely insane#we’ve been friends for about a year or so and when we first met we clicked right away and got super close and hung out all the time#we met at work but neither of us works there anymore and it feels like our whole friendship is falling apart now that we don’t#i literally have not seen her in person once since the last time we worked together (march)#and even before that we didn’t hang out outside of work since december of last year#and i have grown very used to having friends that just do not put the same amount of effort as me into our friendships and it’s sucks#so i was starting to make my peace with the fact that we just weren’t really friends anymore#but then a few months ago she started texting me asking me to hang out all the time and she seemed way more like her old self#and immediately i got sucked back in and was all excited to see her again and have her back in my life fully#but she completely flaked on me three times in a row (not even cancelling our plans but waiting until the next day to give me an excuse)#which like i said i’m unfortunately used to but she literally was the one who invited ME to hang out every time#like why are you initiating plans with me and then ignoring my calls and texts when it comes time to actually hang out#then a few weeks ago she texted me again saying we should go to a concert together bc we hadn’t in a long time#and there happens to be a concert i’ve been wanting to go to on the 31st but had no one to go with#she said she was totally in and really excited and i bought the tickets a couple days later and texted her to tell her i had#got zero response for almost a week and then she texted me yesterday saying we should hang out this week#so i said yeah let’s do it but also this concert is literally in 2 days are you still coming with me#and no response! again! so now i have 2 days to try and find someone else who can go last minute bc it seems unlikely that she will#and i’m just so fucking confused bc why do YOU keep reaching out to ME just to flake out at the last minute every single time#like at this point it feels like she’s doing it on purpose just to see if i’ll keep tolerating her bullshit#and part of me wants to just cut her off bc she’s been a terrible friend to me for months at this point#but i can’t bring myself to do it bc i miss her so much anyway and when our friendship was good it was really fucking good#like i considered this girl one of my best friends and now it feels like she’s just playing games with me bc she’s bored#which sucks extra bc last year she was there for me when literally none of my long time friends were#like it’s bad enough that it seems like our friendship was conditional on us being coworkers#but it hurts more and more every time she reappears in my life just to ghost me again like genuinely why would you do that#so i’m really upset and pissed off rn and i have no idea wtf to do about the concert bc idk anyone else who likes the artist enough to go#vent#lj.txt
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I love how I start playing DAO again for the first time in ages and immediately get hit with combat lag so bad that my spells don't land until after combat finishes. I have never had combat lag before. Are you sulking, DAO? Are you sulking because I stopped obsessing over Dragon Age to play a different fantasy RPG? I'm going back to BG3 if you don't sort your shit out, DAO.
#also if anyone has a solution to this i would like it#i've tried setting it to only use one processor and i've tried messing with the settings#which is what google told me to do and that didn't fix it#it's set up with laa#i've moved bg3 over to my data drive in case it's a memory issue but haven't run into combat since so i haven't been able to check yet#might repair the game files too#if neither of those sort it i really don't know what else i can do#might end up having to restart because i cannot play the whole game like this#it was fine up to ostagar idk what happened
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Okay hear me out.
If you got stuck in the Madness combat universe what would be your plan in order to survive the longest
Alright so
Gun
Try to befriend the clown
Reach the point where the entire cast is cool with me
Improbability drive bullshit
Flip off the auditor
Learn to do the Funny Volcanic Bullshit my OC can do, possible because of aforementioned Improbability Drive
Gun and other weapons
Make melee weapons with obsidian
Yes i am gonna make them in the moment in case someone needs Melee Weapon
If cannot do steps 6 thru 9 because OC exists, rely on him to explain things roto the cast
If step 10 is possible, and i get funny powers (again, totally possible because improbability drive go brrt), keep a Nexus Artifact in case someone of the main charachters needs a powerup. Maybe 2 if tricky and hank wanna fight
DO WHAT COMES NATURAL
#Alex's Answering Machine#yes i would like to be able to brofist the homicidal sign-wielding zombie clown with a PhD ty#also have a stupidly large arsenal so any charachter (canon or fandom) can just#get gun#if im gonna be SOMEWHERE IN NEVADA i would like to be the one that causes the most unnecessary damage#other things to do in the madcom universe:#always have some coffee for Gabriel Barsch and also remember he manifests from the color yellow so remember about “engineers”#give nexus artifacts like an older brother gives their sibling the controller for a while#use the improbability drive to make the AK-50 a thing (granted at that point its a bolter from 40o but liek)#die a buncha times#realize “i fucked so badly with improbability drives that now i cant feel pain lol”#make the cast realize i am the deus ex machina they neither needed nor asked#get a kill count of over 42069
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guy who would SO want to visit friends/mutuals but can't drive so he just like. feels real awkward about the prospect
#someone comes visits me and i cant even pick them up at the airport myself they HAVE to see my parents? only one or neither of us can have#a drink because Someone can't drive either way? fuuuuck#sucks bcs there's cool things out here + would like to hang out actually but like >_> lol lmao
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My mom and I got into a fight bc she told me my sister is probably moving back home after she has her baby and she just got in a car wreck so she's going back to using my car and she got mad I was like I think it's time u guys finally use it to let me learn to drive smh
#i feel like both of them have taken advantage of me having that car#like ofc since i don't drive they can use it but neither one has like given me a chance to practice with it for myself#like its not fair#and my moms all well u been taken around a few times u should have been knowing how to drive#i have been taken out to drive a handful of times sporadically over the years its never been consistent with any means#definitely not enough to be like yea i think i know how to drive#and shes such a hypocrite about it bc she says that and then is like do u think driving easy#no its a lot of work#LIKE I LITERALLY KNOW THAT THATS WHY I KNOW THAT THE FEW TIMES I'VE BEEN TAKEN OUT HAVE NOT BEEN SUFFICIENT#i literally want to get rid of this car but when I'm like let me just put it under one of ur names they're both like no its urs#smh#i'm annoyed#me#personal
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#yeah so I'm absolutely having a breakdown#which sucks because ive been doing alright for awhile#and it makes sense tbh#not to invalidate myself#so many things that are outside of my control have gone wrong recently#someone tried to steal my car again and I'm fixing it myself because I can't afford to bring it somewhere#and the job that would change my life keeps ghosting me#and I need to let my landlord know about renewing my lease yesterday (literally yesterday i was supposed to) but im waiting on this job#and money is tight#and my insurance is stalling on covering my migraine meds#to get a 3 day supply is >100$ through the lowest discount card#and to get a full month supply costs more than my rent at its cheapest#so I've been mostly in pain and lowkey confused as the drug works its way out of my system#and I'm on my period which destabilized because i had to come off my birth control for the first time in years (due to the migraines)#I watched a car flip the other night#and if that weren't enough I can't stop remembering the last time i saw a car flip and two people died on impact#and my dad was dragging bodies out of the car on fire#...we had been driving to the ER because I had tried to kill myself again#all I could think was that it should have been me#and I slept with a guy at work which was fine neither of us wanted it to be a thing#but now he's seeing this new girl that works with us and they're making my life hell about it#and I just don't have a single friend or anyone I feel is there for me#I never get to have that and I don't know why#literally no one gives a shit I could say I'm dying ij this room and it still wouldn't be as important as some guy so and so is pining after#I don't matter unless im useful#I feel like I'm screaming and no one can hear me#fuck this man we were doing so good there for a bit#Genuinely afraid im reaching a breaking point I'll never recover from
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Every time I buy toothpaste the tube is smaller and I hate it!!! Give me fucking the toothpaste!!!
#do not even ask me about the shampoo bottles. do not ask me about the price of milk. do not ask me about the price of fucking SOUP being TWO#DOLLARS and SIXTY EIGHT CENTS. more like ZERO SENSE cos its nonsense that soup is fucking $2.68!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#minimum wage in my state is $7.25!!! it costs like $400 a month for groceries and minimum wage is only $7.25!#i got paid $7.25 to work at the only place in town that would hire my trans ass and the manager would use my correct chosen name and then#say “oh sorry” and then say my deadname despite the fact that i was upfront with her at hiring that i went by a different name!#she did not go by her first name btw! neither did a cis guy staff member!#you bet when i quit i addressed the letter to her REAL first name. two can play that game. at least i wasnt the one understaffing the store#and then offering to come in DRUNK to close. no maam stay home. do not ask me if i want you to drunk drive to work to help me close because#i fucking dont. id rather you stay home and then scold me tomorrow for staying 3 hours passed close to catch up on all the chores that get#missed when we are understaffed. aaaaaaaaa. i hope my new job is better. its paying me more so thats good lol. and my name is LEGALLY my#chosen name so. no deadname nonsense#sorenhoots
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