#neil after all of this: i feel like i just ran 20 miles

[wuzeio]

downtime shopping!

aka allison making neil hold her chanel purse (which he couldnot even begin to comprehend how much it costs ) While she picks out 900 pieces of clothing for our sweet boy neil who wears jorts and a PSU rubber wristband and another silly math shirt

[the-chicken-or-the-banana]

i had an idea i would love to see from your perspective (you're so good at andreil oh my god) if you wanted to write some stuff about it? i always wondered how andrew reacted when he first found neil missing after the binghampton game (starts pg 235 in the king's men). thoughts? (-- the ttyl blog <3)

omg i literally finished re-reading that scene before seeing your ask skjflsj ~ i hope you like this ! (i'm just realizing that i barely followed ur request and just rambled a lot but that's FINE 😬)

read it on ao3 here :)

«««———»»»

Andrew walked in line to the bus with the rest of the Foxes, mind going a million miles an hour behind his impassive expression. 

"Thank you," Neil had said, eyes truer than Andrew had ever seen them. "You were amazing."

Andrew wasn't such a fool for Neil Josten that he couldn't figure out there was something more happening under the surface, something bigger than just an Exy shutout, that he wasn't telling anyone. Something forcing truth out of him.

Neil looked scared.

Apparently, no one else received the memo, because behind him, Matt Boyd kept kicking at Andrew's heels and Andrew could nearly see the nosy smile on Reynold's face. Boyd's voice was drowned out by the cacophony of both jeers and shouts of approval coming from all around them, but he had no doubts that Boyd was fishing for information surrounding his and Neil's "not this" to settle a bet of some sort.

Andrew didn't really care. He was more focused on leaving Binghamton, getting some answers out of Neil, and then kissing him senseless.

Of course, Andrew had no plans to tell Neil of that last item on the list, but he was sure he (and everyone else, apparently) knew anyway.

Maybe not Nicky, though. For all his cousin boasted about having an "incredible gaydar," he tended to be a bit clueless about Andrew.

Andrew's eyes were unfocused, gazing at the bounce of Neil's red curls while his thoughts wandered around nothing at all.

Nothing? his mind mused unhelpfully. Or Neil? Or is that one in the same now?

Shut up, he huffed internally. I hate him.

Lost in his head, it was only until he heard a pained curse from Aaron that he jerked straight and saw the world burning around him.

«««———»»»

Andrew's vision went red. 

He nearly would have broken out of line and straight into the tidal wave of rioters had he not noticed the police trying to push back the crowd. He had never trusted the pigs, but Andrew supposed he could let them handle the mess until he'd gotten a chance to check on Aaron at the bus.

He had nearly fooled himself with that thought when an ice cooler sailed through the air and missed Danielle's face by an inch. An enraged shout came from Andrew's right, and he could feel the familiar heat of adrenaline in his stomach that always came when he and Renee sparred.

There was going to be a fight.

No sooner than he had that thought, the crowd around him exploded into madness, nearly running the Foxes over. Andrew may have been ready to throw some punches, but he was not at all prepared for the onslaught of unfamiliar bodies piling on him. Moving around him. Touching him. 

Andrew couldn't breathe.

He lost sight of Neil's head in the mess, hoping one of the security guards would bring Neil to safety while Andrew tried to ground himself. What had Bee taught him? 

What is your name? Andrew Minyard.

How old are you? 20 years old.

What is upsetting you? Hands. Everywhere.

Can you do something about it? Yes. I can move now.

He felt the glancing blow of someone's elbow on his face, nearly hitting his eye. It was sure to bruise later, but for now, the sharp pain mixed with Bee's words were enough to shake Andrew out of his stupor.

He ducked to the left, neatly missing a thrown shoe and was grateful to his limited stature for once. He kept an eye out for a flash of red, the glint of blue eyes, but seeing that Neil was nearly as short as Andrew himself, the effort was futile.

He'll be fine, Andrew thought. Find Nicky, Aaron, and Kevin, and get to the bus.

To his surprise (or maybe not), Andrew found Reynolds trading fierce blows with someone twice her size, Renee at her back. He caught Renee's glance and she gave him a firm nod of reassurance.

He nodded back, already swiveling to find the rest of his group. 

After a few minutes, he spotted Nicky and Kevin huddled together, slowly moving to the edge of the crowd. He caught up and grabbed Nicky's wrist, who jerked away and reared his hand back for a punch before realizing it was Andrew.

Despite it all, Andrew felt a thrum of satisfaction. A few years ago, Nicky had let people beat him down over and over again. At least now he was learning to fight back.

"Oh thank god," Nicky cried, catching Kevin's attention, before his eyes widened. He reached out, remembering himself at the last second. "Andrew... your face, what happened?"

Andrew shrugged. He'd been through worse. 

Nicky looked like he wanted to say something, but Kevin cursed loudly and began pushing out of the sea of bodies with renowned vigor.

"It's getting more violent and more people are joining," Kevin said, voice strained. "We need to get out and regroup at the bus."

"Aaron?" Andrew asked. Nicky glanced around a few moments before pointing to his right.

"There!" he exclaimed, and motioned to Kevin to go in that direction. Kevin nodded and they made their way over to Aaron, who was ducking under beer bottles and was nearly smacked in the face by a PSU banner.

"Aaron!" Kevin called, and Aaron's shoulders dropped with relief as he swerved a growing fight and made his way over to them.

Andrew scanned his brother quickly and, after seeing no visible injuries, motioned to start back towards the parking lot. They made their way over to the bus and found Boyd and Danielle standing, the former looking like he'd just lost a fight with a mountain lion.

Danielle was gripping his arm as Abby tended to his wounds, but Andrew heard her say he might need to go to the hospital for the more serious injuries. Boyd looked pained at the thought, but when he glanced up and caught Andrew's eye, he smiled and waved them over.

"Andrew, here," Abby said, noticing his injury. He took an ice pack from her and glanced around.

"Where's Neil?" he asked, choosing to ignore the suggestive look between Boyd and Danielle. Abby shrugged and opened her mouth before her eyes caught on something behind Andrew and she waved.

Andrew turned around to find Renee and Reynolds walking proudly towards them. Reynolds had a mosaic of bruises all over her, and Renee was holding her wrist precariously.

Abby sighed and began treating them as Wymack rounded the front of the bus and finally found his team.

Not the whole team, a ringing voice said in Andrew's head. Neil isn't here yet.

Which was odd, no? He had a security guard in front of him, surely he would have made it here first? Perhaps Wymack had seen him and taken him somewhere. Maybe he was already safe in the bus and Abby hadn’t noticed him.

Andrew pushed past Danielle and boarded the bus, walking the length of it but not finding a loudmouthed striker in its shadows. His stomach became knotted with a curious feeling he slowly identified as dread.

Andrew was at the door of the bus again. He looked at Wymack.

"Where. Is. Neil." he demanded. He saw Wymack's confused expression and before he even said anything, Andrew felt his heart stop.

"I don't know. I thought he was with you."

Reynold's knowing smirk gave way to uncertainty as the rest of the Foxes quieted. There was silence for a moment. Two.

Then Andrew threw his ice pack on the floor and raced back into the heart of the riot.

«««———»»»

He ignored the shouts coming from behind him, his mind an endless loop of Neil, Neil, Neil, is he safe, has he been hurt, he was supposed to be nothing, NEIL

After a few minutes of searching and more than a few near punches, the police finally regained some control over the situation and Andrew was able to scour the grounds for any hint of where Neil might be.

He saw the racquet first. The duffle bag was a few meters away from it.

Numbly, Andrew picked up both items, grabbing Neil's phone as it fell from the netted side pocket.

0, it said. 

Andrew felt a piercing emptiness when he saw Neil's things without their rightful owner beside them.

He slowly walked back to the Foxes' bus, head pounding but unable to really register the dwindling fight behind him. And when the Foxes finally came in view, he saw the confusion on their faces when they saw no Neil walking with him.

Andrew mentally ran through everything that he knew. Neil was scared. He was running from someone, someone Kevin knew about? A zero on his phone from an unnamed number — a countdown, perhaps. He would never leave his things unattended, so maybe he wanted to tell Andrew he had been taken unwillingly, knowing that Andrew would never leave without him.

There was something he was missing, some vital piece of information that Neil hadn't told him that was causing this mess.

The guilty look on Kevin's face told Andrew everything he needed to know. He knew something.

He dumped Neil's things on the ground by Wymack's feet, mentally assessing himself. His cheek throbbed, each breath he took was sticky with sweat, his heart was pounding.

Neil was gone.

Andrew felt such a blind hot rage at that, the likes of which he hadn't felt in so long, the type where he felt like laughing at how cruel the world could be.

And before he could tell his body to stop, Andrew's hands were around Kevin's throat.

«««———»»»

"Shit Andrew! You're hurting— " "Andrew, stop— " "Get off of— "

«««———»»»

Andrew couldn't remember what happened after that, not immediately at least. It was a bit disorienting, going from a perfect recollection to being so overrun by anger that his mind went blank. Was this how everyone else felt all the time? He felt like someone just took out a Jenga piece from his mind, like it was close to collapsing.

Distantly, he recalled being yanked off of Kevin as he gasped some explanation about a mob boss, Kengo's right hand man, Nathaniel Wesninski. But none of it mattered. Andrew had broken his promise. He had hurt the person he had vowed to protect, just like so many had done to him.

And he still didn't have Neil.

«««———»»»

Neil used to make the emptiness a bit fuller, a bit easier to manage, Andrew thought. It felt so impossible to navigate himself now without Neil by Andrew's side.

«««———»»»

There was a hospital. A hotel. There were FBI agents. The news turned on. Off. On. There was another hotel. Handcuffs. Taken away.

«««———»»»

There was Nathaniel Neil. Standing in front of him. Blue eyes, wild hair, bandages unable to hide how irresistible he was, unable to stop the jolt in Andrew's heart.

There was Neil. And everything felt right again.

[aquietwritingcorner]

Sicktember Day 20: Doctor’s Visit/Check-up Word Count: 1244 Author: aquietwritingcorner/realitybreakgirl Rating: K/G Characters: Captain Buccaneer Warning: Summary: Buccaneer gets a check-up from Neil and Doc over his new automail arm. Notes: AO3 || ff.net

__________________________________

Doctor’s Visit/Check-up

“It’s just not working the way I want it to.”

Buccaneer looked down his arm—his new, metal, automail arm. He was still having a bit of trouble remembering it was his, if he was honest. It still felt sort of foreign to him.

Neil and Doc were looking at it, and Buccaneer resisted the urge to shift in his seat. He sort of felt like a bug in a jar or something, although he knew that neither one of them would try to make him feel that way on purpose.

“Not work the way you want it to, how?” Neil asked, running a critical eye over the piece of hardware.

Buccaneer frowned. “Its… Its not responding right. It does sometimes, but then other times I’ll try to do something and it’ll go wrong. I accidently threw a glass of water all over Miles yesterday. I was lucky I didn’t hit the general. But I did shatter one of the general’s teacups when we were in her office.”

Doc and Neil exchanged looks.

“That all seems pretty normal, actually,” Neil said. “You’ve had the automail seven months now. Its still going to take some getting used to. I mean, we can check it out if you want us to, but you can’t expect to be completely back to normal yet, especially since you’ve only had it seven months.”

“Isn’t seven months long enough to have this thing working right?” Buccaneer pressed. “I’m tired of misfires! It makes me unreliable!”

“It’s going to take time,” Neil said. “Lots of it. You didn’t learn to use your flesh arm as well as you did in seven months, did you? It’s going to take time for you to learn to use your automail arm.”

Buccaneer frowned. “…I suppose that makes sense. But—I feel so useless! I can’t stay out long in the cold, I’m not reliable with a weapon. I can’t even be trusted to hold things all the time! What good am I going to be here if I can’t get this under control?”

“R&D is working on a new metal mix that should last longer in the cold,” Neil said, reaching out and running his hands over the arm, examining it. Buccaneer didn’t try to stop him. “And I’m working on some modifications that might can help as well.”

“Yeah?” Buccaneer said, his interest piquing.

Neil nodded and reached for Buccaneer’s shoulder. “Mind if I…?”

Buccaneer shook his head. “No, go ahead.”

Neil pressed the release points, expertly manipulating the arm and taking it off. He looked at the joining point on the arms itself, and then around the port in Buccaneer’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” he said, a little distractedly. “Part of the problem is the type of metal, of course. We need something that’s more resistant to the cold and won’t transfer the cold to your flesh as easily.” He ran his hands around the rim of the port. “When we find the right mix, that will mean replacing some of this to help.”

Buccaneer nodded. “Sure, that makes sense. But what else?”

“Well, that’s where it’s a little trickier,” Neil said. “The length of time you want to spend outside is longer than most automail users want to be. It’s longer than most people wanna be, to be honest. Even when we do find the best metal mix, keeping your flesh warm is going to be a challenge.”

He ran his fingers over the edge of the port, where it intersected and overlaid with some of his flesh. “If we could put some sort of insulating material here, it would help…”

Doc moved back over to look at where Neil was indicating and frowned. “The problem with that would be keeping the flesh healthy. Too much insulation there wouldn’t be good for it.”

“Yeah, I know.” Neil frowned. “The other idea I had was trying to find a way to warm it from the inside.”

“The inside?” Doc asked.

“Yeah, like, the body generates its own heat anyway. And automail is basically just a machine. Machines generate heat as well. If there was a way to increase that and disperse it to the outer edges of the flesh, then that would keep it warmer.” Neil said. He looked in the port. “Here and here… I have some preliminary ideas worked out.”

Doc frowned. “But what about when he’s not outside? Overheating the flesh could become a problem as well.”

“Yeah, I know,” Neil leaned back, considering. “We usually put in some regulators to help with that, so that the heat caused by the automail doesn’t hurt the outfitee too much. Its not like it’s typically a lot of heat anyway. The arm is powered by the nerves, so it’s mostly just heat from that and general movement that we have to worry about.”

Buccaneer listened to the two of them go back and forth. It was all very interesting, and he was definitely grateful for the two of them working so hard on it, but it didn’t really answer his question.

“This is great, but what about my lack of control?” he pressed.

Doc stepped back, hands on her hips. “That sounds like a problem that can be solved by physical and occupational therapy to me,” she said.

Neil nodded, running his finger along the inside of Buccaneer’s port before lifting the arm and clicking it into place. “Yeah. It basically boils down to practice.” His hands kept moving, and it was only seconds before Buccaneer felt the jolt of the nerves reconnecting. “Best thing to do is keep up the exercises that they gave you back in North City. I think one of the occupational therapists is scheduled to come up this way sometime next month. She can give you some more tips then.”

Doc nodded. “Yeah, she should be. She’s got a few people to check on. I think you’re one of her priorities, though, Captain.”

“In the meantime,” Neil stepped back, apparently satisfied with the state of the arm and the port, “Things that might help are practice. Come down to R&D some. We’ve got a lot of stuff that you can’t break that you can practice grip sensitivity on. And didn’t the General offer to train with you? You know how she is. You’re not likely to hurt her even if you’ve got a lack of control.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Doc said. “You might see what other hands-on jobs there are that you could do. You’ll be slow and clumsy at first, maybe even have lapses where you are anyway, but the practice will pay off in the end.”

Buccaneer sighed but stood up. “Thanks Doc, Neil. Other than that, how am I doing?”

“Great!” Neil said. “Your body is still taking to the implants well, and everything seems to be healing up. Hopefully we can get this new metal figured out before the skin starts to grow over the connecting port areas. I’d hate to damage that.”

“Just come back to see us next week, or sooner if there are any other problems,” Doc said.

“Will do,” Buccaneer agreed, and turned to walk out the door.

He was, honestly, a little disappointed that there wasn’t a quicker fix, but it sounded like he would just have to do some work. Well, what’s some more hard work? He’d make it. There was no other option. He was, after all, a Briggs Bear. And Briggsmen didn’t give up.

[specialagentlokitty]

Neil Melendez x reader - Reckless

Melendez sighed as he picked up your file from the desk. He ran a hand down his face and rolled his eyes, pointing to Shaun and Claire, the three of them walked over to the bed you were sat on.

You immediately spotted them and gave a sheepish grin.

“You’re here every other week.” Melendez commented.

“What can I say, I like seeing your pretty faces.” You winked.

Claire playfully swatted your shoulder, Shaun sat in a chair fiddling with his fingers and Melendez ignored your comment all together.

He pried your hands away from your nose and visibly winced.

“Are you in any pain?”

“Melendez, I literally can not feel pain.” You laughed.

“Right, sorry.”

“You have CIP?” Shaun asked.

While Melendez started to tend to your nose, you flicked your eyes to the doctor and hummed lightly.

“Yeah, I do. Makes my life easier.” You mused.

“You are reckless.” He noted.

You laughed, smiling brightly in amusement.

“Yeah, yeah I am.”

Melendez stitched your nose and placed a bandaid on it to keep anything from getting it. You turned back to him and gave him a thumbs up.

“Thank you my good doctor.”

“I’m being serious, I don’t want to see you in here again. You need to take better care of yourself. You’re wasting resources.”

With that, he marched off. You glanced between the two other doctors confused, Claire shook you head and followed after he boss while Shaun sat there still.

“Does it bother you not being able to feel pain?”

Shuffling on the bad, you turned to face him, offering him a gentle smile.

“Not really, like sure, I’d like to be able to feel pain, but not feeling it lets me do things I love.”

“It makes you reckless. Dr Melendez does not like seeing you in here so much.”

You sighed softly and nodded your head in agreement. Standing from the bed, you stretched and headed to the front desk, Shaun in tow right behind you.

“I know he doesn’t...”

You filled your releases forms in silently. Once you were done, you stuffed your heads in your pockets and hummed lightly.

“I’ll try to stay away, let Melendez know for me. And Shaun?”

The doctor turned to face you.

“Don’t let them push you around, you’re a damn good doctor.”

With that, you left the emergency room with a slightly heavy heart and a change of mind. You weren’t going to visit it as much now, even if you needed, there were plenty of other hospitals you could go to.

Weeks slipped by, and you had a few minor incidents, but you went elsewhere with them.

As you were waiting to cross a street near yours, you couldn’t help but notice a cat run in the middle of the road.

That wasn’t unusual, they did that. What was unusual was the little child that ran after the cat, and the car that was speeding down the road, music blasting.

Clearly the driver wasn’t paying attention, and neither was the kid.

Without thinking, you ran, grabbed the kid you pulled them out of the way, the last thing you heard was the screeching of tires and the little kid crying.

Claire ran into Melendez’s office, out of breath and frantic. His head snapped up and he waited.

“You’re needed in operation room 4, the patient will be here in 10 minutes.”

Melendez shot up, and he followed behind the residential surgeon. Shaun and Jared were following behind, all heading to the operating room to get ready.

“What do we know?”

“Woman, around mine 20s, she was hit by a car going 60 miles an hour. We don’t know her name, so we can’t call her family, her left arm is broken and the suspect internal bleeding.”

“Kalu you’re my second.”

They all ran into the room and started to get ready, it didn’t take long for the doors to fly open.

“(Y/N)?!” Claire blurted.

Melendez spun around and his heart broke, it was you. Arm twisted in the wrong directing, blood dripping down your head and from between your lips.

“We have to be quick, she’s bleeding internally.” He rushed out.

Throughout the operation, Melendez couldn’t but but occasionally stare at you.

“You like her.” Shaun noted, “you like (Y/N).”

Melendez said nothing and carried on working on you. Shaun went silent again and Claire and Jared shared a knowing look.

Then it started, you’re heart rate started to drop then you flatlined.

“No, no, no, stay with us (Y/N)! Dr Murphy!”

Shaun jumped into action, it took three attempts but your heart started up again, and relief flooded through everyone.

After nearly 3 hours you were stable, the had fixed your internal bleeding, fixed your arm and determined you didn’t have a concussion.

So, now you laid in a bed, Melendez popping in and out hoping the next time he checked up on you, you would be awake.

You blinked your eyes open and stared the ceiling of the hospital room. With a huff, you slowly sat up and looked around.

Glancing down at yourself, you found your arm had pins in and you laughed sleepily.

“Sick...” you muttered.

You stretched a little and looked around boredly, but that didn’t last, footsteps approached your room and stopped in the doorway.

Tilting your head, you found Melendez staring at you with a mixture of emotions all over his face.

“You’re awake..” you said softly, “how’re you feeling?”

He walked over and you carefully watched him.

“Bored, mainly. When can I go?”

“You need to stay here for a few days.”

“So, first you don’t want me to come here again, because I waste resources now I have to stay?”

You knew you were being mean, but you wanted to hear what he had to say. He checked over your stats and your charts before he took a seat next to your bed.

“I just want you to take better care of yourself (Y/N), just because you can’t feel pain doesn’t mean you can be so reckless.”

You hummed lowly and smirked a little at him.

“Have dinner with me and Sure.”

“Are you trying to bribe me?” He smirked back.

“Maybe~”

Melendez chuckled and stood up, he looked around before turning back to you.

“Doctors can’t date patients, so, doctor Kalu will be taking over your care. See you at 7.”

You grinned and cheered lightly as he walked away, you may be stuck in hospital but at least you had Melendez to keep you company

[steebharringt0n]

snapshots of our lives | b.h x you

fears and worries disappear as you and billy hold your baby boy for the first time.

warnings: like one curse word? IT’S JUST PURE FLUFF GUYS.

words: 4k

a/n: ya gurl is baaaack with some extra fluff for the holidays. a certain drawing inspired this one ;) enjoy!

--- The low humming of the heart rate monitor machine quietly echoed in the small hospital room. It was 4 in the morning, three occupants currently sleeping as dawn began to break on the California coast. One was sleeping in a tiny bassinet, wrapped up tightly in a hospital blanket and a small blue cap on his head. 

The other person was resting blissfully on the large hospital bed, their body tired and achy from the past couple of hours, and the final person was curled up on the couch, his blonde curls splayed messily as dark stubble decorated his face. He was aching to sleep in a bed, the couch was too hard for his body, but yet with all the commotion happening within the last couple of hours, sleep was just an afterthought.

Until he finally passed out from exhaustion.

He had been too excited to sleep, too nervous. His life had just done a 180 on him about several hours ago and he didn’t want to miss a single moment of his newborn son’s life.

The epidural had already kicked in, your body was numb from the waist down. Your eyes were anxiously attached to the clock, waiting, counting down the hours till baby boy Hargrove would arrive.

“You’re doing it again” his voice brought you out of the reverie you were in.

You turned your head to face him, a slight smile on his lips as his eyes met yours. He was currently sprawled out on the couch, his legs outstretched. Your hand went to rub your swollen belly, it felt as if it was going to burst if you were pregnant any longer.

“Hmm, I have no idea what you’re talking about” you played it coy, but Billy could read your face from miles away. The perks of being together for almost 4 years.

“You’re watching the clock again”

“Can you blame me? I’m almost 10 centimeters and he’s been moving around like crazy” you grunted as you shifted around in the bed, trying to find a more comfortable position. You heard Billy move around on the couch, you then watched as he grabbed the chair in the corner and pulled it over to your bedside.

He rubbed his large hand over his face, he’d been awake for almost 24 hours, those long shifts at the auto shop were starting to get to him. Your water had broken just as you two were settling down for breakfast, Billy was about ready to head off to work when you felt warm liquid trickle down your legs. 

Your body instantly froze. You dropped your fork on the table, then proceeded to clutch your stomach, your eyes shut in pain as a contraction hit you.

Billy jumped out of the chair, racing over to your side. As soon as he saw the wet stains on your dress he instantly knew.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit. I thought he wasn’t supposed to come till next week?!” he shouted as he ran across the apartment, grabbing your overnight bag and the car seat which had yet to be properly placed in the Camaro.

You breathed heavily through your nose as you waited for another contraction to hit, “He’s a baby Billy not a package! He comes when he - fuck!”

You clenched your teeth together, your nails digging imprints on your palm as a contraction sharply hit you. Billy stopped his movements and jumped over to you, crouching down and taking your hands into his.

“Hey, hey, remember what the doc said, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth”

You swallowed thickly, nodding your head at his instructions and giving him a watery smile in return. You felt like crying, the overwhelming feeling of the situation suddenly made you feel breathless. There were no instructions when it came to babies, and after today you and Billy were on your own with this tiny person.

You inhaled sharply, you could feel your hands trembling and before you knew it there were tears streaming down your face. Billy reached up, letting go of your hands and gently cupping your face, his thumbs wiping away the tears that were staining your cheeks.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay” he gently consoled. If truth be told, he was just as terrified as you were, but he had to be the strong one in this situation, hell you’re about to have a baby and all he did was cum inside of you.

You shook your head, full on sobbing at this point, “No, no, it’s not okay. We’re barely 20 years old and we’re about to have a baby, and we have no idea what we’re doing and what if we suck at this? What if we're terrible parents and - “

Billy did what he does best to shut you up - he lifted his head up and pressed his lips against yours, kissing you with so much fervor that for a second you almost forgot that your water had just broke. When he pulled away, the look in his eyes was so intense that the fear of having this baby with him suddenly melted away.

“I love you Y/N, and this baby okay?”

He pressed his hand against your stomach, he could feel his son kicking around like crazy. He was more than ready to come out into the world.

“I’m fucking terrified too okay? Ever since the day you told me you were pregnant I - I keep thinking that I’m going to turn out like Neil, or that I’m going to fuck this kid up royally in some way or form.”

“Billy - “

“And I know what you’re going to say, that I’m not going to be like Neil. But when I have those thoughts, I - I just think about what an amazing mother you’re going to be, and how I know you’re going to help keep my ass in line. All my fears about being a dad disappear when I know you’re going to be by my side”

Billy’s emotional confession had you bawling, tears cascading down your face. Billy isn’t good with words, and his emotional outbursts were still a work in progress, but you needed him to be your lifeline right now as you were with him when he was struggling. He grabbed your hand and placed a soft kiss on your knuckles,

“We’re in this together okay?”

You sniffled, bobbing your head up and down, “Okay”

“And no matter what happens I’m going to be here okay?”

“Okay”

“And we need to get you to the hospital, like, now”

Another contraction knocked the wind out of you, your face twisted in agony as shock waves of pain coursed through your body. “Yeah, lets go”

9 hours later you were still sitting at 8 centimeters dilated. The nurses would come and go every 15 minutes to check up on you but with no change all you had to do at this point was play a waiting game. You had even gotten up and walked around the hospital hoping to speed things along, but your effort was fruitless.

Billy took your hand into his, he frowned at all the IVs attached to your wrist, but they were helping keep track of your vitals, and the baby’s. He gently laced his fingers with yours.

“Do you remember our first date?”

You giggled at the memory as your mind wandered back to junior year, “How could I forget? Your Camaro broke down on the way to Benny’s and we ended up making out in your car to Whitesnake’s ‘Is this Love’ until Hopper caught us and ended up towing your car. I’d say that’s a pretty unforgettable first date”

Billy laughed alongside you. Albeit at the time he was feeling embarrassed that he wasn’t able to treat out this cute girl who had been lending him pencils the whole year.

“Do you know what I realized that night?”

Your eyebrow quirked up, “What?”

“That whether I stayed in Hawkins, or moved back to California, that there was never going to be another girl like you”

You stayed quiet as he continued to speak. You could feel his palms get sweaty as he rubbed soft circles over your hand, “You are the only girl I know that could make light of out of my car breaking down. While I was getting angry, you were just laughing. You were happy.” he paused for a second, his blue eyes met yours, warm and inviting. “You didn’t care about fancy dinners or movies or my car breaking down, you just wanted to be with me”

You squeezed his hand, raising it up to your lips and pressing a soft kiss on his fingers. “And four years later, here we are” you smirked, gesturing to your pregnant belly.

A grin spread across his cheeks, “And here we are”

You continued to pepper kisses all over his hand as his eyes never left yours, “I love you Billy.”

He stood quiet as he tried to gather his thoughts. His emotions were at an all time high. You were his girl and you were about to give him the greatest gift he could ask for - a son. The love he felt for you at this moment was insurmountable. He clenched his jaw, trying his hardest not to cry in front of you, but as soon as he blinked, tears welded up. He inhaled shakily, a tiny smile on his face, “And I love you Y/N”

There was a sudden knock at your door. Billy quickly wiped away his tears, as your doctor walked into the room.

“Ms. Y/L/N, let’s hope this baby is ready to come out”

He reached down below to check how many centimeters you were coming along. 

“Is he ready doctor?” you questioned.

“Yep. I’d say you’re about fully effaced. This baby is ready to come out” 

You let out a sigh of relief, squeezing Billy’s hand. You could feel your heart hammering loudly in your chest. The both of you exchanged looks, Billy nodding at you as you held on tight to his hand.

“You may want to go easy on his hand, you may need that for later” The doctor added as he began to call in his nurses.

As soon as the nurses began to gather around your bed, everything started to move quickly.

“Alright Y/N, you’re going to feel a lot of pressure, but when I say push, I want you to push as hard as you can” The doctor ordered. You swallowed heavily, feeling scared and nervous all at once. 

You glanced up at Billy who was standing above you. Sensing all your nerves you placed a chaste kiss on your head, “You got this princess”

He gave your hand a gentle squeeze, and you began to push.

Everything in the world suddenly went mute, and all you could focus on was pushing this baby out of you. You clenched your eyes shut, your jaw locked in tight and you swore that you were bound to break Billy’s hand with how hard you were squeezing it. You let out a loud gasp as you stopped your pushing,

“Good job Y/N! His legs are out! Just one last giant push and you’ll finally be able to meet your baby boy” the doctor kept encouraging. 

Sweat began to drench your body, you looked absolutely exhausted, but to Billy you could have never looked any more beautiful. He leaned down into your ear, “You’re so close baby, he’s almost here”

“B-Billy, it hurts ... I’m so tired ... “ you whimpered to him.

“I know princess, but our baby is almost here. We finally get to meet him” he continued, pressing kisses on the side of your face. You nodded at his words of encouragement, feeling a newfound sense of energy. You clenched his hand once more and you pushed like you’ve never pushed before. You were wailing at the top of your lungs, Billy still chanting supportive words into your ear until you heard the most beautiful scream in the world.

“Here he is! Baby Hargrove!”

The doctor held him up to the light, his little arms flailing around, searching desperately for some warmth. You opened your eyes and a sob escaped your mouth as you watched the nurses quickly whisk him away to the weighing table behind them.

“Baby Hargrove is 7 pounds and 6 ounces. He has all 10 fingers and 10 toes!” the nurse happily exclaimed through his loud cries.

You released Billy’s hand, he leaned down towards you and slammed his lips onto yours - one that was filled with love and passion. As he pulled away, his eyes began to water with tears.

“You did so good, so so good, I’m so proud of you Y/N” he croaked, brushing away your hair from your face. You nodded at him, being unable to find any words to convey this moment.

The nurse then walked over with your baby boy, all bundled up in his blanket. She gently passed him over to you, “Congratulations, he’s a beautiful baby”

Your Y/E/C eyes were wide with wonderment as you stared down at this tiny person. Billy had an incredulous look on his face, he blinked back tears at the sight in front of him. The love of his life with his son. Your fingers gently wiped away his tiny blonde wisps of hair that you sure were going to match Billy’s curls.

“H-Hi little guy ... I’m your mom ...” you whispered to him. “this guy up here is your dad, he’s a little rough around the edges but he’s secretly a big softy” 

Billy choked out a laugh at your words, wiping away his tears as his gaze never left his son.

Your baby boy was still wailing when the nurse handed him over to you, but the instant he heard your voice, he began to settle down. His cries then turned into soft whimpers, you watched as he slowly opened his eyes, taking in his new surroundings. You let a soft chuckle,

“I was right” you commented out loud to Billy.

He raised an eyebrow, “About what?”

“His eyes. They’re just like yours”

You shifted soundlessly in your sleep, turning over so that you were facing the bassinet. With one eye cracked open, you propped yourself up on your arm, careening your neck towards the sleeping baby. You were desperate to hold him, to feel him in your arms. Feeling much more awake you reached in the bassinet and gently, carefully pulled him into your arms. For weighing about 7 pounds he was a heavy little baby. As you positioned him into your arms, you hissed quietly, forgetting that your body was still sore and tired.

Luckily by the time he was comfortably resting in your arms, he was still knocked out. You chuckled to yourself, a heavy sleeper like his father.

You stared at your son in complete awe, still not being able to believe that this little human was half you and half Billy. You had so much love for this tiny little being that you felt like your heart was going to explode.

Your finger traced the outline of his little face, starting with his wrinkly little forehead. Your finger then trailed down to his nose, which you weren’t sure if he had your nose or Billy’s, but one thing you knew for sure, is that he had Billy’s ocean blue eyes. 

Your finger finally stopped at his cheeks, which were adorably chubby and you wished for a second that he would stay this little forever. 

“Hey mama, you’re up”

You twisted your head to face a sleepy Billy, sitting up and stretching his arms. With a soft smile, you patted the empty space on the bed, “Come sit with us, daddy” You wiggled your eyebrows at the innuendo.

Billy laughed, “Ooh, that may need to stop”

He kicked off his shoes and climbed into the bed, wrapping his arm around you as you snuggled into his side. The morning was beginning to creep in, letting in sunlight into the hospital room. You glanced up and met Billy’s warm gaze, you swear in all of your years that the two of you had been together, you had never seen such a look of love, and adoration in his face. 

A soft coo suddenly broke your attention off of Billy. You glanced down into your arms and saw the baby shifting, his little face twisting into a frown.

“S-should we call a nurse?” Billy asked, there was hesitation laced in his tone.

“No, no, I got this”

You slipped down your hospital gown, just enough to expose your breast. Instinctively, the baby began to root towards you, his mouth found his way towards your nipple and he instantly latched. You winced in pain as you shifted around, resting your body onto Billy’s as the baby began to feed.

“Are you okay? I can go get a nurse” Billy quickly began to speak. Seeing you still in pain was concerning to him.

“No, Billy, I’m okay I promise. Everything is just really sore” you paused, brushing your finger down his cheek, “But look, he latched”

A warm smile spread onto Billy’s lips as he watched his son eagerly eat. “He has my appetite that’s for sure”

“We still need to give him a name” you remarked.

Billy studied his son, trying to think of a good name that would match him, “Jacob?” he offered.

You scrunched up your nose, “Nah. What about … Thomas?”

“No way, Tom Hargrove? Sounds like a used car salesman”

You laughed, “Fair enough”

The both of you then became quiet, gazes locked upon the hungry baby, your minds trying to come up with a good name. Then Billy quipped, “What about Adam?”

“Adam” you tried out the name for yourself, testing to see how it sounded like. “Adam William Hargrove?”

As soon as the name came out of your mouth, Adam pulled away from you, letting out a big yawn from his mouth, milk dribbling out of the corners of his mouth. His eyes carefully opened, curious blues shifting from you to Billy.

“I think he likes it” Billy quietly said.

“We’ll let the nurse know when she comes back in, she can add it to his birth certificate”

Billy hummed in agreement, his eyes still not leaving Adam’s as the fussy baby began to shift in your arms.

“Do you want to hold him? I think you may need to burp him” you noted, as you began to unwrap him from his blanket. He was dressed in a white onesie, his little legs and arms began to move around at the drastic temperature change. Billy gently took the crying baby from your arms,

“Shh, it’s okay Adam, dad’s got ya”

Billy carefully balanced Adam’s head in his one hand, and his small body with his other hand. Adam began to quiet down when he realized that he was in Billy’s arms.

With a wide smile on his lips, Billy looked over at you. His blue eyes shined with excitement, “Hey ... he stopped crying”

You rested your chin on Billy’s shoulder, watching as Billy cradled him close to his chest. “Hmm, he knows who his dad is. You did give that big speech to him on how Mötley Crüe is ten times better than Journey”

“And now he has superior music taste, just like his old man” he grinned, winking at you.

Throughout your pregnancy you encouraged Billy to speak to him. He at first thought it was stupid, speaking to a stomach sounded silly. But when you casually mentioned that the baby would start kicking whenever Billy’s voice was heard, he made it his mission to speak to him at least once a week. His head would rest on your belly, his hand splayed out, feeling the soft pitter-patters of his kicks against his palm. You would watch amusingly, brushing his long blonde curls out of his face as he spoke to his son.

You grabbed the white cloth from the small table, placing it on Billy’s shoulder. Billy then adjusted Adam, placing his head onto his shoulder,

“... Do I just pat his back?” he questioned.

You nodded, “Gently”

Billy’s large hand was about the size of Adam’s entire body, which intimated him. He felt so fragile in his arms, he was scared that a single pat on his back would hurt him. But as gentle as he could, his hand found a steady rhythm of pats against his back.

You grinned at Billy, “Look at you, you’re a natural”

The door to your hospital room swung open, and walked in Angela, the nurse who had helped you through your delivery. With a smirk on her face and her arms crossed, she watched as you and Billy figured out how to burp Adam.

“Well I see I’m not needed here much. Did he latch on okay?”

With a swift nod of the head you turned to face Angela, “He’s been doing great. We finally figured out on a name”

“Oh yeah?”

“Adam William Hargrove” you announced to her proudly.

Angela walked over to the white board where the nurses were keeping track of all your vitals. She took a dry erase marker and in large letters she wrote ‘WELCOME ADAM WILLIAM HARGROVE’

“There, now every one will know his name. I’ll be sure to add it to his birth certificate” she closed up the marker cap and walked out of your room.

You turned your attention back to Billy who was still gently patting Adam’s back. After a couple more pats, a small burp escaped out of Adam’s mouth who then proceeded to spit up milk all over the white washcloth. Billy stood frozen, waiting to feel his spit up dribble down his back but you swiftly grabbed the clean end of the washcloth and cleaned up the mess around his mouth,

“He puked didn’t he?” Billy asked uncertainly.  

You giggled, taking away the dirty washcloth from Billy’s shoulder and tossing it on the table. You watched as Adam then proceeded to snuggle onto Billy’s shoulder, nestling his tiny head in between the crook of his neck. Adam let out a whimper, followed by a soft coo as Billy rested his hand on his body. The warmth that radiated off of his hand helped keep Adam warm.

“He’s fine, he just had to show his big ol’ dad who’s running things round here”

You placed a kiss on Adam’s forehead as he settled in Billy’s arms. His little blue eyes started to slowly close as sleep started to take him back in.

“Is he back asleep?”

You hummed out a yes. Billy then carefully shifted his body, laying all the way down so that Adam was laying on his chest. He read that skin-to-skin contact is good for newborns, and he was lucky enough that his shirt was always half-way buttoned, so he took the opportunity to move him just to where his head was resting right above his heart.

You laid back down with your boys, watching them with pure affection. With Billy’s hand still placed on Adam’s back, you interlaced your fingers with Billy, so that the both of you had your hands on Adam’s back, feeling the steady beat of his chest rise and fall with each breath he took.

Within minutes both Billy and Adam were passed out. Your eyes were tired, your body was sore, and your mind was begging you to sleep, but you couldn’t tear your eyes off away from your two favorite boys. 

If heaven was a place on earth, you were sure that this was it. No other moment in your life could ever top this.

Any fears that you had about Adam were gone, had disappeared into thin air. You wanted to laugh at how nervous you were several hours ago at his arrival, but you knew that with Billy by your side that he wouldn’t let you face this alone.

It would be the three of you, now and forever, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[theliberaltony]

via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

I

n the year since President Trump pulled off his stunning upset of Hillary Clinton, Democrats have blamed the result on all kinds of factors: James Comey’s letter, Russian hackers, voter suppression, Jill Stein’s candidacy and depressed African-American turnout, to name a few. The truth? In an election decided by fractions of percentage points, it’s easy to call just about anything a difference-maker.

But none of that gets at the heart of why so many people who cast a ballot for former president Barack Obama in 2008 and 2012 — and who saw Trump as unqualified to be president — nonetheless voted for him. Although it’s far from a microcosm of the nation, there’s one place that I believe illustrates what happened in 2016 better than anything else.

In a nation increasingly composed of landslide counties — places that voted for one side or the other by at least 20 percentage points — Howard County, Iowa (population 9,332), stands out as the only one of America’s 3,141 counties that voted by more than 20 percentage points for Obama in 2012 and Trump in 2016. Democrats can’t credibly blame Howard County’s enormous 41-point swing in just four years on a last-minute letter to Congress, voter ID laws or Russia-sponsored Facebook ads.

Howard County, about 150 miles northeast of Des Moines along the state’s border with Minnesota, is 98 percent white. Only 13 percent of residents age 25 and over hold at least a bachelor’s degree. Median household income in the county in 2015 was $49,869. The largest employers in Cresco, the county seat, include the Donaldson Company, an air filter manufacturer whose local workers belong to the United Auto Workers union, and Featherlite, which makes aluminum livestock and utility trailers.

Barack Obama speaks to members of the United Auto Workers union during a presidential campaign stop in Dubuque, Iowa, in 2007.

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Contrary to the “Trump Country” stereotype, Howard County isn’t drowning in manufacturing job losses, high unemployment or an opioid crisis. In fact, its unemployment rate the month before the election was just 2.9 percent. The main gripe? Stagnant wages — and a gnawing feeling that people have been working harder and for longer hours while other parts of the country reaped much bigger rewards during the recovery from the Great Recession.

“When Trump said, ‘What the hell do you have to lose?’ a lot more people heard it than just African-Americans,” said Pat Murray, a Democrat who worked 29 years as a press brake operator at Donaldson and now serves on the Howard County Board of Supervisors. “Our wages have been stagnant, and our insurance has gone backwards,” he told me, citing the union-sponsored health plan’s surging deductibles. “We work 50, 60 hours a week because there’s no one to hire.”

“[Obama] saved us from another Great Depression, but it never really got back to the working class,” said Murray, who calls himself “as anti-Trump as they come” but says Clinton’s campaign took places like Howard County for granted in the November election. “The average Joe Blow isn’t hung up on the stock market. Democrats always say we’re going to fight for the working people. The last few elections, we haven’t shown that at all.”

Howard County, Iowa, encompasses a number of small towns like Lime Springs (left), Cresco (center) and Chester.

Bill Whittaker / Jon Roanhaus / Bobak Ha’Eri

Autopsies of the Clinton campaign frequently cite her inattention to Michigan and Wisconsin as a cause of her loss. But her failure to connect in places like Howard County probably had less to do with which states she visited — after all, she spent plenty of time in Iowa — and more to do with her image and message.

Clinton came to be seen as establishment and dishonest in a year when a plurality of voters wanted change. But in a baffling display of obliviousness, she spent much of the fall jetting between big-city rallies, which were often followed by closed-door, high-dollar fundraisers. She spent precious little time making her economic case before people in midsize cities or small towns like Cresco. And even though she outspent Trump $6.5 million to $2.2 million on Iowa’s airwaves, her ads were more about Trump’s antics than about how she would raise voters’ wages or how Trump might lower them — effectively ceding that ground to Trump’s utopian jobs promises and inescapable slogan.

Neil Shaffer, a farmer and watershed conservation official who chairs the county GOP, credits Trump with flipping the party’s script on trade. “We’re skeptical of career politicians,” he said, likening Trump’s outsider appeal in the so-called Driftless Region to that of former-wrestler-turned-Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura. “For however many years, Democrats and union leaders denounced NAFTA. All of a sudden, you had a Republican candidate saying that it’s all for big business. The average working person said, ‘Hey, here’s someone who’s not going by the party book, he’s breaking the mold.'”

As for Clinton? “She was elitist, was what I kept hearing,” said Laura Hubka, a Navy veteran and ultrasound technician who chaired the county’s Democratic party and knocked on doors for Clinton. “We’re a blue-collar town.”

Voters in Iowa show their support for Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump during the 2016 election.

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Last month, Hubka resigned her post as chair and published a scathing blog post about Democrats’ aloofness to voters in places like Howard County and the party’s failure to come to grips with the election result. “Can we just stop and admit we’re part of the problem?” she vented to me. “People who were longtime supporters didn’t want to hear what we had to say anymore.”

Holly Rasmussen was one of those who had reached a breaking point. An Obama voter, Rasmussen cited the way that ill-tailored new federal rules applied to her tiny Cresco cosmetology school as a driving factor in her defection to Trump. “Honestly, when we founded the school, I got to teach. But the last few years, I had to spend all day in my office because I’ve had to file campus crime reports,” she said. “And if we had two people who didn’t repay their loans out of the eight students we had, [the Department of Education] made it tougher for us to get financial aid. Because of the regulations, we had to close. Now, we’re just a salon and spa.”

So why did Rasmussen vote for Obama and Trump? “Just to shake up Washington, to be honest. We’ve been in a rut for so long. People here don’t want to be multi-gajillionaires. They just want to get paid a decent wage,” she said, noting that her 2016 choice “might have been different” had Bernie Sanders won the nomination.

Howard County wasn’t always a train wreck for Clinton. Ironically, in the epic 2008 Democratic primary campaign, Clinton ran as the candidate of labor and small-town America, rallying union halls, downing whiskey and beer for the cameras, and blasting Obama’s speeches as “elitist and out of touch.” She came in third place statewide and only carried 22 of Iowa’s 99 counties in that year’s caucuses. But Howard was one of the 22 she won.

By 2016, however, Howard County morphed into Sanders territory. The Vermont senator struck a nerve with his calls for a working-class revolution and his attacks on Clinton’s Wall Street ties and shifting rhetoric on the Trans-Pacific Partnership.

“I was shocked. I didn’t think a person would show up for Bernie,” said Murray, who chaired his precinct’s caucus. “But when I showed up, it was full of Bernie people.”

One such Bernie-crat was Mike Bigley, who spent 30 years as a Donaldson machinist and worked his way up from shop steward to president of UAW Local 120.1 “I liked his ideas on healthcare and free tuition,” said Bigley. “On caucus night, we had a majority for Bernie. Some of the union guys thought Clinton did crooked stuff to win [the nomination]. You hear a lot of things around the factory floor.”

“The Bernie people thought Hillary stole it,” concedes Murray, who said those voters’ distrust of Clinton carried over to November. “I’d say probably two-thirds of them went to Trump,” Murray said. Bigley, a self-described die-hard Democrat, said he wasn’t among them.

A Clinton supporter, left, and the candidate herself in Iowa in 2016.

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By the fall, anti-Clinton fervor in the community had reached a crescendo. The week before the election, emboldened Trump supporters took out a full-page newspaper ad and rented out the historic, city-owned Cresco Theatre and Opera House — a long-ago vaudeville haunt — for screenings of conservative filmmaker Dinesh D’Souza’s documentary “Hillary’s America” and the Benghazi film “13 Hours.” To Democrats’ dismay, the theater was packed.

For years to come, pundits and political scientists will debate whether working-class white voters’ sharp turn towards Trump had more to do with economic or racial resentment. Incidentally, despite its nearly all-white population, Howard County occupies a unique place in the history of America’s attitudes on race.

Riceville, on the western edge of Howard County, happens to be where, in 1968, elementary school teacher Jane Elliott pioneered the famous “Blue Eyes/Brown Eyes” classroom exercise that’s still used in diversity training courses today. Elliott’s exercise caused an uproar in the tiny town, made her an outcast in the teacher’s lounge and even resulted in violence and racial epithets aimed at her family. Now 83 and living a few miles down the road in Osage, Elliott told me she blames Trump’s election on a backlash against “eight years of a black man in the White House.”

But neither Howard County’s party chairs nor its left-leaning labor leaders cited racial resentment as a driving force behind the community’s seismic shift to Trump in 2016. “That pail doesn’t hold water,” said Shaffer, the GOP chairman, who eagerly points out that the county voted overwhelmingly for the nation’s first African-American president — twice.

The idea that voters who previously cast a ballot for Obama could not have been motivated, at least in part, by race when they made their 2016 choice has been disputed extensively in academic studies. But in my conversations with Howard County voters of both parties, the common thread of support for Obama and for Trump was resounding: anti-elitism.

Presidential candidate Donald Trump arrives to speak at an Iowa campaign event in 2016.

GETTY IMAGES

Democrats’ next path to 270 Electoral College votes may not run through Iowa. After all, Trump prevailed by a slightly larger margin in the Hawkeye State than he did in Texas. But Democrats don’t have the luxury of simply writing off voters like the ones they lost in Howard County.

If Democrats want to retake the House in 2018, they’ll need to win congressional districts like Iowa’s 1st, which includes Howard County.2 The 1st District narrowly re-elected rough-around-the-edges GOP Rep. Rod Blum last November. More importantly, Howard County’s Trump-curious Democrats have countless analogs in states that will decide the 2020 election: not just in Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin, but in Minnesota and Maine as well.

One year later, Rasmussen, the cosmetology school owner who previously voted for Obama, doesn’t have “massive regrets” about her vote for Trump. “For the most part, he’s doing a good job. I wish sometimes he’d stifle his Twitter account, but I’m not surprised by any of it. If you watched it, that’s kind of how he was,” she shrugged.

To rebuild lost trust and win support, future Democrats face the twin challenges of, first, persuading voters that Trump is on track to negatively affect their livelihoods and, second, reclaiming the mantle of working-class hero that every successful Democratic nominee has embraced since vaudeville ruled the stage at the Cresco Theatre.

“My dad told me, ‘You’ll never be rich enough to be a true-blue Republican,’” Bigley recalled. “Now there’s too much darn money in politics, on both sides.” His advice to his party? “Get out here in the sticks and roll around with us common folks for a week or two.”

[brittanyyoungblog]

OkCupid Profile Examples for Women: Tips & Templates

If you’re having trouble with your OkCupid profile you’re not the only one. The app prides itself on having profiles that are longer than most dating apps, but you might be asking yourself what you could possibly say in 10 prompts that you couldn’t say in one short bio?

Well, quite a bit actually. I’m here to show you that you can (and should) say more in your OkCupid profile. Because on the OkCupid app, the whole game is to find your ideal match, whether your looking for a long-term relationship or one-night stand and that extensive profile is there to help two people (you and your future date) looking for the same thing find each other faster.

Here are some OkCupid profile examples for women as well as a quick overview of what the profile looks like and tips to give you some ideas and inspiration.

OkCupid Profile Overview Before we dive into profile examples for each section, let’s examine exactly what goes into an OkCupid profile since there’s more to take in.

General information This is the easy part and includes your gender, relationship status, orientation, height, body type, ethnicity, diet, drinking style, drugs and smoking style, religion, education, kids, pets, and language you speak.

My self-summary Well, in this case it’s your self-summary, but you get what I mean. This is where you’re going to need to use the bulk of your writing skills since it’s open-ended, is the first thing people see after your general info, and can include anything you want.

What I’m doing with my life This is included in almost everyone’s profile and can either be a short one-liner—something as simple as “I’m a teacher”—or a longer explanation of where you are in your life.

Additional profile prompts After the What I’m doing with my life section, OkCupid will give you around seven more prompts that include things like: I’m really good at, My golden rule, Six things I could never do without, The last show I binged, A perfect day, If I went to jail, I’d be arrested for, What I’m actually looking for, or Six favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food. Depending on the prompt you may want to answer with one sentence or a paragraph. It’s up to you but recommended that you do answer as many as you can.

OkCupid Profile Examples for Women

My self-summary Me: Just your neighborhood A dog-loving, marathon running, accountant. That’s me by day, anyway. By nighttime I’m tearing up the dancefloor at your local disco club. (Fair warning: I’m not a good dancer, just full of blind confidence.) You: Prepared to go on spontaneous adventures and luxurious vacations. Must love mountaintops and warm beaches. Sleep is for the weak.

Most people that know me would say I’m Fun-loving, funny, passionate and horribly addicted to my guacamole. Seriously. I’ll put avocado on anything. That said I’ll also share it with you, if you’re nice. Weekends are for binging BoJack Horseman reruns, improv, and picnics in the park. Mimosas anyone?

One day, I would like to climb Mt. Everest. Don’t you know it’s dangerous? Yes, I do, thanks. Aren’t you scared? Just a little. Don’t you think that’s a little… If you have any more doubtful questions, just move along. I’m a big girl and I’ve been climbing since I was a little kid. I want to stand on the tallest point in the whole world and no one’s going to stop me. Who knows? Maybe you’ll be end up in the party.

Tip 1: You in a Nutshell If you ran into the love of your life in an elevator and you had eight floors to catch their fancy, what would you say? This is a good exercise for writing a basic self-summary. Try boiling your life story down. It’s good to start with your job, your hobbies, your passions. Are your friends everything? Do you have a dog that you love dearly? Oftentimes, just this info can offer enough insight for someone glancing over your profile to decide if they should send you a message. So be genuine and be brief.

Tip 2: Passion is Sexy It’s okay if you’re not at the top of your career yet or don’t have it all figured out. The key is “yet.” Passion, confidence, and dreams are attractive, and you can share that stuff here. So whatever it is that you yearn to do in the bottom of your heart, shout it loud and shout it proud. It’s okay if you’re not quite there yet. There’s nothing wrong with that. And who knows, you might find a partner for the journey.

My patronus is A black and white cat. I was hoping for something noble like a lion or stag. Heck, a llama, even. Nope. I got a housecat. If you take the Pottermore quiz and get a dog or a mouse or something like that, feel free to message me. J.K. Rowling is trying to tell us something.

I like to make paintings. Wow, that sounds weird. I like to paint paintings. I’m a painter. Not quite Frida Kahlo, but miles ahead of high school art class. I’m self taught and always look for any excuse to get into my studio (read as tarp on my kitchen floor). Firm believer that there’s nothing quite like the feeling of a brush stroke on canvas or walking through half your house before realizing you’ve left trail of acrylic paint footprints. Artsy or fartsy, holler at me!

My weirdest quirk I was born with an extra toe on my left foot. (It was removed, so don’t ask to see it!) I’m also a competitive partner dancer, who can keep balance for the life of her outside of the dance floor. Is there a connection between ghost toe and my deficiency? I don’t know, mom, is there??

Tip 3: What do you do to pass the time For the doers and makers, movers and shakers out there, what are you doing and making? If you have a closet hobby, what is it? These little quiet passions add depth to your profile. They really help other daters get a feel for who you are. You don’t have to be a master cross-stitcher or certified metal worker, but these activities will make it easy for others to connect and give you something to chat about.

Tip 4: Quirky is in, so let your freak flag fly Yep, it’s true. We’ve officially embraced the weird. It’s a good time to be a nerd, geek, or just a little bit out there. There’s no perfect “normal,” so tell people what makes you different. Acknowledging the things that make you unique and loving them is a great way to show confidence, which is always attractive. Putting your quirks in your profile will always set you apart from the crowd.

Six things I could never do without Water, food, air, shelter, clothes, human attention. There’s probably more, but that’s the best I can do right now.

I value My family. I know it sounds corny, but I’m not ashamed to say it. Family comes first. Blood is thicker than water and all that. We’ve been through a lot together and in those hard moments our strength together is what gets us through. No doubt about it.

I spend a lot of time thinking about The universe and how small we are in it. I could watch space documentaries for weeks on end—that and listen to Neil Degrasse Tyson’s voice. I feel like I’m smarter listening to anything he narrates. Cosmos and chill?

Tip 5: We are what we need We all have the things we need—whether it’s family, god, or Taco Bell’s Crunchwrap Supreme, the things we love aren’t going to change anytime soon. Incidentally, they’re also a great way to show other daters what you’re about. Remember the key is to find common ground and show personality.

Tip 6: I am defined by If you have core beliefs that you can’t do without, best to get them out in the open. Waiting till your tenth date to reveal that you’re an environmental activist and ethical vegan may not be the best approach for finding a compatible mate. The things that keep you up at night keep other people at night too.

A book everyone should read The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway. A friend group parties across France and Spain and teaches us that “classic” books don’t just have to be a slog. It’s a quick, fun read, but still makes you feel the feels. I finished it this summer in just one day and it left me lost in thought and wondering about my next raucous party.

My favorite bands in high school Smash Mouth, and Yellowcard. I know it’s embarrassing. Please don’t judge. I’m ready to be better now I swear! Message me with your most embarrassing fandom, so I know it’s real.

Best day of my life so far The first week after I got my puppy Benny we went to the dog park for the first time. He ran in circles for 10 minutes before tuckering himself out and passing out in my lap belly up. We spent the rest of the day munching on doggie treats and popcorn watching the Flintstones. It’s been three years and he’s still the love of my life, but we’re open to meeting new people.

Tip 7: Artsy and fartsy Talking about what we read and what we’ve seen is house we shoot the breeze. This is your opportunity to get intellectual with your obscure book recommendations or relive your angst of your teenage years with your favorite high school bands. This could be a genuine way to make a connection through sharing your refined current taste or poking fun at your poor past taste. That’s up to you.

Tip 8: The perfect day For some of us it’s finding 20 dollars on the ground. For others, it’s a day of hiking with your best friends. Either way, the little things that rub us the right way say a lot about what we like in our partners. Being honest and fun here will get you more messages (and will help give other singles some good ideas for dates).

My relationship with my mother is the perfect friendship, which is how it should be! We’re a tag team duo for yoga and brunch (sometimes back-to-back). I share almost everything with her, so if you’re going to be mine, you’re going to have to be hers, too. Proud mama’s girl through and through.

You should message me if you’re looking to date in a low commitment, long-term relationship. Finishing up school is my number one priority right now, and I can’t give too much to a deeply invested relationship. You should also message me you’re career driven (it’s attractive!) and can keep up a good banter (also attractive!). Driven, smart, funny, that’s the combo~

I will never date someone that thinks that vacations are for relaxing. Time away from work is for scuba diving, surfing, sightseeing, and anything else that involves not sitting still. I live for adventure and I’m looking for someone to tag along (and occasionally lead the way). Think you’re up for the challenge? Submit your application below. *Due to high volume of incoming applications, we sincerely apologize that we can only reply to the ones that we think are the best fit for this position.

Tip 9: Be upfront and open It’s okay to be genuine. In fact, it’s the best way to be. Being a vulnerable in dating means that you’re confident in sharing yourself, that you’re not worried about being hurt by what people think. Now that’s a good way to be.

Tip 10: Honesty is the golden rule Honest is the best policy. Always has been and still is. If you’re looking for a particular kind of relationship this is a good place to put it out there. Being forward about what you want may save some time and pain coming from mismatched expectations later down the road. On a more simple dating app, you might be able to leave this sort of stuff out, but because OkCupid is so comprehensive it doesn’t hurt to add.

So that’s it! Go ahead and get out there. OkCupid has a longer profile than most other apps, but in the end it’s not too different. As always, the key is to be funny, genuine, and honest. Your natural attractive qualities will shine through. Good luck!

The post OkCupid Profile Examples for Women: Tips & Templates appeared first on The Date Mix.

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[wilshipley]

The Bachelor, Season 22, Episode 2

“Tonight on The Bachelor...” skip skip skip once is enough “...it's all coming up tonight on The Bachelor.”

EXTERIOR, PEREGRINE FALCON: Why?

We hear the famous red-tailed hawk scream that lazy foley people have used for decades. Ari's in the scrubby mountains astride an ugly Harley-Davidson P.O.S. and I'm sorry if you like Harleys but seriously they're loud and heavy and don't perform very well and every single one I've seen in town is ridden obnoxiously. We've got a guy here in the Castro who rides a red one and at 2am almost nightly he'll rev his engine again and again for up to a half hour, for no reason except to annoy everyone. It’s not like I’m a motorcycle hater, I rode a Duck for many years but Harleys are just stupid.

EXTERIOR, MANSION: The women toast each other “to love.” Sure, lotta love in this room. We get quick cuts of the women saying they like Ari. This is a huge surprise, HUGE.

Chris calls the hoard inside: “The hope is that just one of you will be Ari's wife.” Wait, so still no polygamy on this show? Jesus, what year is this. “...and that's the craziest thing to say to 21 people sitting before you,” add Chris, apparently overlooking, “I have a spatula and I will spank all your bottoms until you admit the moon landing is fake, you arugula pirates.”

Bekah is looking super perky (enjoy this while you can). Bibiana confessions she wants a date, a big surprise on a dating show about dates. This is Bibiana’s episode so just assume if I elide something it’s a Bibana confessional. Also I have no idea if I’m spelling her name right or anyone else’s also I kinda don’t care?

Hot Mess Chelsea talks about how the producers *cough* I mean Ari gave her a rose last night because she's “a little bit mysterious” which is a funny way to pronounce “CRAY CRAY” but whatever.

Becca K. gets the first date card, all by her lonesome. She is...the publicist? Ok, I'm cheating and reading her title card, because I don't remember anyone but Bekah and the taxidermy gal, who I internally call “girlfriend #1″ and “girlfriend #2″ because I’m a lonely and sad man. I think maybe this Becca is the one who had him propose to her first thing out of the limo?

Ari drives off with Becca on “his” shitty motorcycle. Becca confessionals that she's happy to be paired with a “handsome race car driver” which seems like an oddly specific wish. Like, I've heard of having a type, but if your type is “handsome race car drivers with the IQs of 10-year-olds” then maybe time to rethink priorities.

Hot Mess is asked by the producers (via a proxy contestant) how she feels about Becca getting the motorcycle date. She doesn't disappoint them, “A little jealous...I love putting myself behind something a little bit more powerful than me.” I get she's that trying to sound naughty and exciting here but that construct doesn't make much sense. In what other situations are you putting yourself behind something more powerful than you? I mean, a car is more powerful than you, so do you love it every time you walk up behind your car? What about tractors? Does being behind a tractor get your crank going?

Unbelievably Insane Krystal tells the women that her dad was in a motorcycle accident so she wouldn't be down with going on the ride today and it goes over like a lead balloon in a hospital ward of people suffering from lead poisoning who also are afraid of balloons. One of the assembled women kinda slowly says something like: I...guess...it’s...good...you’re...not...going? because how do you respond to that.

Ari takes Becca to, like, a loft or something they rented out? And introduces her to MEGA-superstar designer Rachel Zoe who I'm sure you've all heard of without googling her because OMG she dresses the stars or something? Becca is supposed to pick out a dress for the evening, from among a ton of very, very sparkly dresses. Rachel Zoe has never met a sequin she didn't like.

After some dress-trying-on Ari tells Becca that she'll get to keep all the dresses and then gives her some spiky Louboutins which even I know are super-goddam-fancy. This is an awesome set-up by the producers — the first woman they pick is a nice, small-town, inoffensive gal it'd be hard for anyone to dislike, and she's getting a classic small-town-gal / “Pretty Woman” scenario without the pesky whoring of the original. Also this sets us up for DRAMA because she's getting like $15,000 or so worth of stuff and I'm now completely convinced the next group date is going to be the women shoveling actual shit (they've done it before!) just to make the other women super jealous.

Ari lies about how much he wanted to spoil her with this date as if he set up Rachel Zoe and paid for the dresses himself, hah hah. Now some Very Serious Dude approaches them with glasses on carrying a briefcase: “Neil Lane sends his regards.” I expect him to shoot them both but instead he gives Becca earrings, which is disappointing but maybe more in tune with the audience. Ari then spends a lot of time brushing her hair away from her ear so the camera can see the earrings that NEIL LANE gave her. Did we mention Neil Lane enough? Because he’s no longer satisfied to just appear at the end of the show with his goddam blood diamond rings. They kiss and he holds her hair back, which is something I usually reserve for...well, not kissing. But those NEIL LANE earrings! They gotta be seen!

Becca totters into mansion full of women the carrying her metric ton of loot and admits she was "more nervous to come back here," which makes sense. But the producers fail to get any catty quotes from the women and actually they all seem kinda excited, so, like, foiled again!

Becca confessionals she's nervous to see Ari again on their evening date. “It's like the butterfly nerves.” I don't know what those are? I've heard of having butterflies and having nerves but not butterfly nerves. Are butterflies known for their nerves? I mean basically they land on flowers and drink sugar water all day. It seems pretty chill.

Ari plies a sparkly necklace onto Becca because apparently she doesn't have enough phat loot. She says, “I was told you can fix my brakes on my car,” and I'm like damn woman how much more do you need here? I've had women literally offer to make sex tapes for me just if I bought them Louboutins. (I declined—I mean, those things are expensive! Oh also I have my pride, ahem, right that too.)

—

INTERIOR, MANSION: Literally Insane Krystal gets the date card. She can't stop talking in a combination of up-speak and baby talk and it's so grating I can't believe I'm voluntarily watching this. I would run a mile to avoid her. She also looks to me like she's had a LOT of elective face surgery, because her smile is completely uncanny valley, and that’s a pretty scary thing for a woman in her 20′s. Look, I know there are impossible standards of beauty in our society for women, but when you start cutting up your face and turning it into an hideous plastic mask, well, that’s crazy town.

—

DATE, NIGHTTIME: Becca (we’re still on her date) is telling Ari about her dad's death from cancer because that's super hot. Becca is a nice gal and possibly as simple as Ari, they seem like a fine couple to me. I have nothing mean to say about her, except I think her cross wrist tattoo is dumb but I pretty much don't like any tattoos, so. Somewhere in all this he gives Becca the rose.

Ari tells Becca she gets to keep the earrings (I bet she assumed it at this point, because she’s making out like a damn bandit) and then he pulls a handle in the bizarre loft thing they’re in and confetti flies everywhere because who doesn't end dinner with confetti? That's not at all strange.

—

INTERIOR, MANSION, MORNING: Unbelievably insane Krystal is strutting around the mansion and talking in her baby voice. It sounds like, “Mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah.”

She's driven to a plane. “HiiiiIIIiiiIIiiiii. Oh my gooooooooooooosh,” she minces to Ari. (Today she’s flying Air Ari.)

Let's pause here. I've been watching this show “UNreal” which is co-created by an ex-PA from The Bachelor and although it's a bit crazier than the real Bachelor it does show how much the PAs interfere and connive and this whole Krystal thing makes me super uncomfortable because of it.

Krystal has, in my opinion, real personality problems. All my alarms go off with her. So the producers are like, OMG, she feels abandoned by her family, she was an abused kid, she's vulnerable now, she has a huge aching need to be liked, LET'S SEND HER TO ARI'S HOMETOWN TO SEE HIS HOUSE AND MEET HIS FAMILY ON THE FIRST DATE because she'll get nuttily attached and when she gets back she'll be a complete bunny-boiler.

Krystal: “It's crazy to think if I lived with Ari, this...could be my life!” EEEEEEK RUN A MILE DUDE RUN A MILE.

Krystal is just SOOOoOOOoooOOoOOO excited to see his home videos and his photo albums, which are oddly analog (he's not THAT old).

Now they're outside his parents’ house. This is just disgusting me. She meets the whole extended family and she's SO EXCITED OH MY GooOOOOooOOD. Krystal asks the parents, “How did you guys meeettttttt?” and I've never heard anyone drag the final consonant (fricative?) like that I feel like she wanted to do a baby talk/upspeak version of that phrase but she ran out of words before she got a chance to add any annoying fake verbal contrivances so she panicked and dragged out the t.

—

INTERIOR, MANSION: Women are figuring out who hasn't gone on a date. A date card arrives, pretty much all women are on it. “Let’s hit love head-on!” it says. Spoilers: they actually back into it, which would have made a funnier date card tag line. Like, “You're fine mother-flippers, why don't you back dat ass up?”

—

EXTERIOR, LA: Krystal: “Where are we goIIIIIING?" They're having dinner at the Bradbury which is like the coolest place ever and now it's been tainted by their bullshit and I’m pissed. They didn't even mention Blade Runner so they're double-dead to me.

Krystal cryfessionals that she's afraid to open up to Ari which, like, GO WITH THAT FEELING, GIRL. YOU ARE CRAZY MAYBE KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.

But instead Krystal tells the story of how her family split up and her parents were neglectful and she later found out her brother was living on the street and couldn't figure out how to save him. Of course this is a legitimately sad story but MAYBE not what you share on national TV and/or a first date but whatever.

The issue here is Krystal is obviously incredibly damaged by her past and she should never have been put on this show. She's not a "ha ha hot mess" pretend villain she's a genuinely messed up person and this is the last thing she needs. She needs help and support not to be deprived of sleep and competing with other women and filled with booze.

Ok, Ari is actually being a gentleman about her crazy history and she's melting in his affection and he has no idea the fire he's lighting. Not yet.

He gives her the date rose, and applies some tongue therapy to her. “It was an easy choice to give Krystal the rose, she really was vulnerable...” no no no gonna stop you right there.

They walk to a small theater somewhere and CONNER DERMIT is on-stage, singing his hit song, You've never heard of me, have you? They slow dance to Conner's crooning and I'd like to give a big shout-out to "Audio Rents" in LA who managed to put a big green sticker on Conner's mic right where the camera could see it perfectly. Maybe after this gig Conner can afford his own microphone! They’re not that expensive, Conner, I have a nice Shure one myself and I don’t even sing.

Krystal confessionals how she's held back in love but her speech patterns are so bizarre that I'm amazed how much she sounds like Jason Mendoza on The Good Place. I wonder if she watches that show and is like, “Gosh, he's my hero. He really get it.”

—

INTERIOR, MANSION: Krystal confessionals, “It felt really amazing this morniNNNNNg: waking up, and having my rose?” She should maybe have breakfast cereal instead of roses.

The women are grilling Krystal but she won't tell them anything about her date, she claims it's personal and private (a-OOOG-ah! a-OOOG-ah! Red flag!) but I suspect also because she kinda can't remember things from a day ago or even when they leave her field of vision?

—

This also marks the spot where producers have had a talk with Bekah about her boobs so the rest of the show she is no longer so perky. I imagine the conversation went a lot like this.

—

Most of the remaining horde is now piled into a bus, wearing sporty outfits. They're going to participate in a demolition derby! This seems...kinda insanely dangerous? I mean, they're taking precautions, but still.

Bekah has managed to find a way to be far skimpilier-dressed than all the other women — she's wearing shorty-short-shorts vs. everyone else’s yoga pants. I admire her tenacity. It's like the old saying, "When god closes the door on no bras, he opens up a window into micro-bootie shorts."

(I'd like to mention I'm in no way trying to "slut-shame" Bekah — she's a very fit person and I'm super-stoked she's so comfortable in her own body. SUPER DUPER stoked.)

Ari pulls up in his beater car with great fanfare. The women are all told to paint their cars and then smash into each other until their cars don't move. Again, this seems pretty dangerous.

Annaleise has a breakdown and is crying and doesn't want to do this. Now, this is a legitimate thing because smashing cars is pretty dangerous and I'm sorry I know I'm going to hell but I can't take her seriously here...because: Mikel(?) is nominated to lob her the softball, "If you don't mind me asking, why are you so scared?" And Annaleise is off! I'll just summarize: when she was little she was on bumper cars and her car was "trapped" in middle of other cars and she was upset.

The producers dramatize the story with a nightmare video sequence of bumper cars and screaming where they're clearly mocking her, then they switch to some of the women openly mocking her in confessionals because the producers aren't allowed to just get on-camera and openly mock the contestants themselves, so this is as close as they can come. Who knows if anything bad actually happened to Annaleise and the producers just cut it to look like she’s trying to get attention? Not me.

Ari comes and comforts Annaleise and she decides she can do it after all. Hmmm.

—

Ari instructs the women to back into other cars because all the good stuff is in front. I'd beg to differ, but to each his own.

Cars bump. Some women are especially aggressive, including Bibiana which is funny because she doesn't have a driver's license.

“Annaleise took a big one in the back right there!” says the announcer and I'm not touching that. Annaleise smashes a ton of cars and ends up having fun.

Sienne wins. They show Sienne taking a victory lap and the lazy foley person twice dubs in the sound of tires screeching on the mud field. C'mon.

There’s a group shot with all the women in their fireproof racing suits and Bekah is the only one who’s taken her top down. I really appreciate the extra effort Bekah always puts in. She's like that Matt Damon impression of Matthew McConaughey: "Today's scene, I think it'd be a good opportunity for me to take my shirt off."

—

EXTERIOR, CASTLE(?), NIGHT: What is this place? LA Castle?

INTERIOR, CASTLE(?): Brittany couldn't make it to the afterparty because apparently she hurt herself on the track today. I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO.

We see a lot of confessionals from Bibiana because they're setting up some major DRAMA. Hot Mess Chelsea grabs Ari first again and of course everyone is pissed, but Chelsea hasn't even seen crazy yet. Oh she’s about to be overshadowed big time.

Chelsea tells Ari about her kid. Wheee, what a shocker. We already know Ari's a MILF-hunter, thanks to Emily. Chelsea tells the group how she opened up to Ari about how she left her kid to be here with him and Mikhel(sp?) the very beautiful chef is having none of it and is all "we all gave something up!" You go girl.

Sienne is talking to Ari and she went to Yale and he's like, "I had a cousin in Yale...his name was Yim Yonson!" (Not really.) But it's pretty clear she's WAYYYY to smart for him. Ari actually says (to camera) "I barely graduated high school and worked a Pizza Hut," and you gotta give it to him, he knows his limits. He gives her the old smooches, though, because chix can’t resist the smooches.

We see a big montage of women talking to Ari but in the context of Bibiana having a meltdown because she hasn't gotten any time with Ari. She's M-A-D MAD. I mean, I don't blame her, I'd be totally over this show from the first word, but it’s good TV so have a lot of hot-headed Latina action. My hotheaded Latina friend is watching with me and I’m actually afraid I’m going to catch some fallout from her sympathetic anger for Bibiana.

Now Ari is telling Bekah she's sexy. Her voice is like ear whiskey. They start smooching and the camera does NOT pull away. It's a LONG and WET and SLURPY kiss. I think she's pregnant now?

Cut away: Ari picks up the date rose, “Chelsea: You really opened up to me [more stuff]...and um, Sienne [more stuff] you impressed me today,” and he gives the rose to Sienne. What the hell was with mentioning Chelsea first? Why did he pick out just one woman to mention before the one he was actually giving the rose to? Seems like a dick move.

—

MANSION, NIGHT: montage of women talking about Ari and the politics of rose night.

Ari is a simple man and gives a simple speech to the women. Blah blah rose time is coming.

Ari first talks to Brittany who had the unspecified demolition injury. He gives her a certificate that says "Most Hardcore," and tells her "You can hang it in your room!" because he really is a 10-year-old and his room has all kinds of trophies and certificates on the wall from boy scouts and the like. Also probably an award from Pizza Hut for being “Most Meh Employee.”

Now Ari and Bekah are talking and her voice is so sexy I think I am pregnant. Ari tells her he wasn't sure if she liked him and she’s all no you’re silly and I want to throw up and finally they get back to smooching because seriously they have nothing to say to each other. Smooching sitting down, smooching against the wall, they smooch and smooch. Bekah knows how to smooch. I give this three more episodes before she realizes how boring he is. Bekah: "I'm simple, no drama; I'm easy to please.” Apparently really easy to please.

More Bibiana feeling upset about not getting time with Ari. The whole arc tonight is about Bibiana wanting time and will she get cut?

Krystal confessionals that she's going to talk to Ari some more at the cocktail party even though she has a rose and had a whole day with him. Her voice intonations are seriously crazy. She is unhinged. I think alcohol is messing with the medications I hope she takes. Krystal interrupts Lauren B. who "didn't even have a date this week."

Bibiana confessionals she thinks Krystal is a "selfish BIiiiIITCH" (emphasis hers) and I think that's the first time I've heard that word on this show? The Bachelor’s a pretty conservative show considering how obnoxious it is (c.f. blurring side-boob), which is actually kinda the M.O. of all conservatives, really.

Krystal is crazy-talking to Ari and as far as we see he doesn't kiss he — it seems like he's wising up. The scenes they show he seems more “placating” than “snuggling.” She talks to the other girls about her visit with Ari and her tone is so bizarre I can't even watch it.

We see Mikel(sp?) the beautiful chef asking Ari what color his underwear is and I feel like she's not really making good use of her time here. She's the most gorgeous woman on the show but the fact that they've only shown her say one thing per episode (and it’s been lame each time) means she didn't last long (remember they cut all these shows after the show has wrapped). Ari is the kind of dude who looks at a bucket of fried chicken and is all, "Mmm, I like that dry, tasteless white meat!” so I just don’t think Mikhel lasted long.

The taxidermy woman brings him a stuffed dead thing which I think is great. She's my definite backup after Bekah rejects me. Uh, I mean my first choice? Sorry taxidermy woman whose name I've forgotten. Lauren? I want to say Lauren. Anyhow I love you baby it was always you.

Bibiana finally gets time with Ari. Lots of fanfare. Ari's talking about having his dog in LA with him. Krystal pops her head in. "Hi guysssssss? Do you mind if I...stepped in for a momennnnnnt?" I feel like the producers MUST have put her up to this one, especially because we didn’t see Krystal planning it with the other women and I’m 90% sure Krystal couldn’t open a door without making a plan of attack first. Bibiana respond, “I actually do,” and even Ari says, “Yah, just one minute.” He's starting to. Realize. The. Mistake. He. Has. Made.

Bibiana confessionals how much she thinks Krystal sucks. Krystal says to Ari, “I just...only had a minute and I just...couldn't imagine...going into the rose ceremony even though I already had a rOOOoooose...” and it goes on like that.

Krystal comes out and joins the women and Bibiana tells her off. You can guess how that goes. Bibiana is furious. “When you learn to speak to me like a normal human being and not with a fake tone I can actually respect you and listen to what you have to say but if you really think I'm going to fall for this little ‘Lalalalalalaalalal’ [Bibiana shakes her head side to side] you HAVE to be kidding me.”

It’s not the most eloquent speech but I mean maybe it's healthy for Krystal to hear it straight from someone. She’s got to drop this baby/upspeak act if she’s going to join the human race. I honestly don't see Krystal as a villain, she’s a victim in this — a truly hurting person who doesn’t have the tools to deal with this kind of situation.

Bibiana tells her off a bunch. It hurts because, again, Krystal isn’t an evil person, she's just really messed up and needy.

Ari is summing up the evening with Chris: “Some have exceeded my expectations, and then some have slipped back a little bit.” When Ari says the latter the producers cut forward to Krystal in the lineup holding her rose, which in this case I don't think is much of a stretch — I think even simple Ari has started to realize that Krystal is WAY over-invested in this. If you've ever seen “Blue Jasmine” (the last Woody movie I could manage to watch, thanks for being such a dick Woody I used to really look up to you) Krystal is basically Cate Blanchett's part in this except it’s not a movie it’s her real life.

The women are lined up to be judged by a mediocre dude who likes to drive cars. Wheee.

🌹Maquel. 🌹Jacqueline. 🌹Bekah (DUH). 🌹Jenna. 🌹Chelsea. (I don't remember any of these women, sorry.) 🌹Lauren S. One of the Laurens! I think there's three? 🌹Tia! She's the not-Raven with not-surgery. 🌹Annaleise, who hates nicknames. 🌹Lauren B. I feel like I've never seen her. 🌹Kendal! The sexy fun quirky taxidermist. 🌹Brittney, the whiplash victim. 🌹Ashley, who was worried about going home but it turns out was fine. 🌹Marique, the super beautiful chef who will be cut next week and I'll be sad. 🌹Caroline. Don't feel bad if you don't remember her we've only seen her say like one thing.

Chris: "Ladies, Ari: this is the final rose tongiht."

MUSIC: BUM BUM BUM bum bum!

🌹Bibiana! What a shocker except not at all since they've cut the whole show to be about Bibiana.

Chris: "Ladies I'm sorry..." blah blah.

Some lady I don't recognize seems fine with being cut and hugs him and says goodbye. Maybe a Lauren? Seems like a safe bet. Valerie the server with a red wash in her hair who is SUPER beautiful hugs him goodbye. She reminds me of a movie star or someone else I like a lot and I'm sad to see her go but again we've never seen her say a single line on-camera so we can't be surprised.

The final blonde woman (maybe a Lauren?) is sniffling and stomps past Ari without saying goodbye. He can't abide this! All women must pay him obeisance, even if he just cut them. "Can you give me a sec!" says Ari to his throng as if the women had any ability to decide their own fates on this show, and follows her.

“Hey,” he confronts her. Her hands are on her hips. Ari: “I'm sorry! C'mere, give me a hug at least.” He grabs her clearly against her will. Not OK, Ari! I know you're 10 but you can't force women to hug you just because you feel bad that you made them feel bad. That's not OK!

Unknown possible-Lauren says, “Can...we...talk about it, at least?” and I’m now wondering why she blew past him if she wanted to talk? Ari pulls out the “I had to make tough choices" excuse and I feel like after 22 seasons the producers have a finely honed list of excuses they give the dudes to recite so they don't look like jerks.

Unknown woman says, “I’m not...sad about you, I'm sad about leaving my new friends,” which, I mean, that's a baller move and I respect it but you didn't really need to stop and ask him to talk if it’s true. You could have said it in the limo and it would have been badass.

Ari says, “I know you made friends, but at the end of the day it's more than that here, you know?” It's the second time he's said “end of the day” which is two more times than I've ever said it in my life because it's incredibly trite.

Also, why DON'T they let the rejected women stay in the house? That'd be freaking awesome. They could all carry on with the remaining women and dish and they wouldn't have to bullshit any more and it'd be hilarious. Also if some of us in the audience developed crushes on the less-bland women (*cough* Mikel *cough*) we’d be able to keep seeing them every week even after the main guy decided the only flavor he enjoys in vanilla.

“Okay, give me a hug!” Ari demands and grabs her. She doesn't, like, visibly move away but I'm still saying, don't demand hugs from women. You're not doing this for them, you're doing it so you can feel better, and that’s shitty. Hugs are intimate, don't demand intimacy from anyone.

Unknown possible-Lauren voiceovers “I got...broken up with, for the first time. So, like, shocked!" and look unknown woman I want to be on your side but yipes. First off, you did not get broken up with, you’ve barely spoken to this guy, you weren’t going out. Second off, if nobody's ever broken up with you maybe you have an issue? Like are you dating guys way beneath you, or do you end relationships early because you're afraid of being hurt or you get bored and need to move on? None of these are good looks. You should be dumped. It's part of learning and growing and figuring out what you want. I’m not ashamed I’ve been dumped, I’m only ashamed of the relationships I chickened out of that I should have stayed in.

Unknown possible Lauren: “I literally came into this thinking that I would end up with him,” well c'mon you just said you didn't like him and only liked the other women you're ruining this. She actually shows her fangs: “But he literally picked a [laughs] taxidermist over me.”

OH NO YOU DID NOT. Nobody attacks my #2 girlfriend! "Taxidermist lady" is awesome and creative and fun and she's WAY sexier than you if you want to be shallow. (Which I do, let’s be honest.)

"I just feel like I embarrassed myself." Well, not until you started tearing on the other women, you didn't.

Meanwhile, inside, Ari toasts to an amazing week, and how he's learned a lot about himself. His toast is amazingly Ari-centric, except maybe not amazing because he’s Ari, the 10-year-old.

Hopefully one of those things he’s learned is DO NOT TAKE CRAZY TO MEET YOUR PARENTS.

[robertmcangusgroup]

The Daily Thistle

The Daily Thistle – News From Scotland

Monday 5th June 201

"Madainn Mhath” …Fellow Scot, I hope the day brings joy to you…. Calm weather greets us as Bella and I leave the house this morning, not a cloud in the sky, feels humid, must be a fine mist blowing in from the ocean.. not that we care Bella has things to sniff and I have things to think about as we wander the streets of Estepona Spain….

'MINI TORNADO' WRECKS CORNHILL HIGHLAND GAMES….  A Highland Games in a north-east village had to be abandoned after a "mini tornado" swept through the site.

Villagers in Cornhill, near Banff, had been enjoying the annual event at the playing fields on Saturday afternoon. After a spell of "beautiful" sunshine, the storm blew in, wreaking havoc on the park and lifting the first aid tent over a marquee and into the arena. No-one was seriously hurt, but the games secretary Shona Hay said the noise was terrifying.

"Ten minutes before this we had a beautiful sunny day," she said. "It was just torrential. Everybody ran for cover and a wind seemed to appear from nowhere and lifted our first aid tent and some of the stall holders' tents. "And then the noise was just terrifying - the noise of the wind and the folks screaming." She added: "The wind just swept through the park tearing up the tents, just clearing the arena and everything in its path. It swept through the village and five minutes later it was flat calm again.

OBAN PUB TO OFFER ‘PUB GRUB’ MENU FOR PATRONS’ DOGS…. A dog’s life is a happy one in a Scottish pub which has responded to the rise in the number of customers bringing their four-legged companions to the bar by creating a dog-friendly menu. The Lorne bar in Oban is offering a “Fir yer Dug” menu so that canines can tuck in to their own favourites, while their owners enjoy a bite to eat. Favourite dish of the day for doggie visitors is three butchers sausages for £2, wtih a bowl of Bakers Meaty Meats another popular choice. And to wash it down there is a none alcoholic Snuffles doggie beer, which costs £2.99 a bottle. Water and small treats are still available on the house. Pub owner and landlord Declan Curran said: “There are a lot of people coming here on holiday with their dogs now so I thought it was a really good idea. “It was my bar manager Debbie Sheppard who came up with the menu after she had been down in London where there are a lot of dog-friendly cafes. “People just love the concept of it, they think that making a fuss of the dogs is good.” The pub’s local customers love the idea as much as the holidaymakers.

NATIONAL TOUR OF MONARCH OF THE GLEN REVEALED…. A nationwide tour of one of Scotland’s most iconic paintings has been unveiled - months after its future was secured. The Monarch of the Glen will visit Perth, Paisley, Inverness and Kirkcudbright following a global fundraising drive to keep Sir Edwin Landseer’s masterpiece in the country. It will spend seven weeks in each location as part of the £175,000 tour, which will run between October and May, and is being bankrolled by the Scottish Government and the Heritage Lottery Fund. The 1851 painting of a stag set against a remote Highland backdrop was set to come onto the open market for the first time in 100 years after Diageo decided to put it up for sale. But it was withdrawn from Christie’s in London after the company struck a deal to sell it to the National Galleries of Scotland for less than half its £10 million valuation. It had been on long-term loan to the National Museum of Scotland in Edinburgh for the previous 20 years. It has been on display at the Scottish National Gallery in the capital since a £4 million fundraising target was reached in March. Both Perth and Paisley are vying to be named UK City of Culture in 2021, with a winner due to be announced by the end of this year, while campaigners hope a new art gallery in Kirkcudbright are expected to get a share of a hoard of Viking treasures which were found on Church of Scotland land in the area. Sir John Leighton, director-general of the National Galleries, said: “We looked to galleries where we already had a partnership or a relationship. The UK City of Culture bidding process was certainly on my mind and we’ve had lots of discussions with Kirkcudbright to see what we could do to be part of the new gallery there. “We feel very strongly that the national collections belong to everybody. Every time we work with a partner it helps to generate excitement, but also helps local museums and galleries with their efforts to attract more visitors. “There could well be other tours of the Monarch of the Glen in future, but a venue has to have the right security arrangements and the right environmental conditions. It can’t just be hung in any old space." David Lockwood, project manager of Kirkcudbright Art Gallery, which is due to open in the spring, said: “The National Galleries has been on our board for some time and they’ve very kindly thought of us for the Monarch of the Glen. “It’s fantastic that people won’t have to travel miles and miles to see such an iconic work of art. It will be a great start for the gallery.

PRESTONPANS TAPESTRY TO GO ON SHOW AT SCOTTISH PARLIAMENT…. IT includes 10 million colourful stitches, took 25,000 painstaking hours to complete and depicts the journey of one of Scotland’s most famous historical characters. The Prestonpans Tapestry, which will be on display at the Scottish Parliament from 21 June 2017, tells the story of Bonnie Prince Charlie’s triumphant passage to Scotland. Prestonpans tapestry goes on display. Picture: Supplied The tapestry is one of the largest in the world and illustrates the Jacobite victory at the Battle of Prestonpans against the redcoat British Army on 21 September 1745. The artist Andrew Crummy, who also created The Great Tapestry of Scotland, worked with hundreds of stitchers in Scotland, France, Australia and the USA to bring the story of Bonnie Prince Charlie and the Jacobites to life in this piece of art. The Presiding Officer, the Rt Hon Ken Macintosh MSP, said: “After the enormous success of The Great Tapestry of Scotland exhibition, we hope that The Prestonpans Tapestry will also be of great interest to our visitors.

TWEED VALLEY GEARS UP FOR THE BIGGEST EVER TWEEDLOVE BIKE FESTIVAL…. Known as ‘Bike Valley’ by cyclists around the UK and beyond, Tweed Valley is preparing to host its biggest cycling festival to date with this year’s TweedLove Bike Festival. Picture: Tweedlove riders in Glentress, TSPL The area is renowned for its reputation for excellent mountain bike trails and relatively traffic-free road network, meaning it is the ideal spot for a cycling festival. There are 35 different events spread over three weeks, with two key weekends within that period, 26th-28th May, and 9th-11th June. For the first time TweedLove will also include a ‘mega bike demo’ weekend, where many of the world’s top bike brands provide the public with the opportunity to try out top of the range bikes - some worth up to £10,000 each – on the trails of Glentress and country roads around Peebles. It will be the biggest event of its kind in the UK this year, with hundreds of different bikes available to try. “This is an amazing chance for people to spend some timing riding the most sought-after bikes in the world, bristling with the latest lightweight technology, all in the UK’s best cycling destination”, says TweedLove director Neil Dalgleish. “It’s fantastic that so many of the world’s best bike brands are coming to Peebles with their latest kit. People can take some time finding out what the bike of their dreams is really like to ride, and enjoy the festival atmosphere and all the events afterwards.” TweedLove Festival began eight years ago with some cycling friends organising events for friends to take part in, but is now the UK’s biggest cycling festival, but is still powered by community enthusiasm. “There’s no doubt these events are still a labour of love”, says Neil. “Our small team of organising staff try very hard to put on events which do the place justice. None of this would have been possible without all the community support, and that’s still true today. It’s a unique and special place.”

On that note I will say that I hope you have enjoyed the news from Scotland today,

Our look at Scotland today is of The Monarch of the Glen…..

 A Sincere Thank You for your company and Thank You for your likes and comments I love them and always try to reply, so please keep them coming, it's always good fun, As is my custom, I will go and get myself another mug of "Colombian" Coffee and wish you a safe Monday 5th June 2017 from my home on the southern coast of Spain, where the blue waters of the Alboran Sea washes the coast of Africa and Europe and the smell of the night blooming Jasmine and Honeysuckle fills the air…and a crazy old guy and his dog Bella go out for a walk at 4:00 am…on the streets of Estepona

All good stuff....But remember it’s a dangerous world we live in ….. Be safe out there…

Robert McAngus

[dawnajaynes32]

A World of Typography: Creating Fonts for Multiple Languages

Industrious and ambitious type designers are creating fonts for not only their own cultures, but those in nearby countries—or ones thousands of miles away.

Today we have access to thousands and thousands of fonts, especially when it comes to Latin scripts. Writing systems across the Americas and Europe, including English, French and Spanish, among others, make up a majority of the typefaces in existence. But the world needs more non-Latin scripts.

Some cultures have only a few digital typefaces to choose from—or none whatsoever. Because non-Latin scripts are in demand, type designers have taken on the challenge of creating fonts not only for their native writing system, but also foreign ones. Whether it’s done for your own culture or another one, type design takes more than just attention to the visual details and knowing how to make the software do what you need. It takes research—a lot of research. And above all else, it takes an insatiable curiosity on the part of the designer.

GLOBAL TYPOGRAPHY

Mark Jamra and Neil Patel have been working together since January 2015, focusing on non-Latin scripts for what Patel calls “hot” or “emerging” markets: the Indian subcontinent, Southeast Asia, and also Chinese, Japanese and Korean (often abbreviated CJK).

[Related: Tazugane: A Japanese Font Designed for Multilingual Harmony | Designing for Translation: 5 Tips to Get Your Projects Global-Ready]

Jamra and Patel met during the final production of Phoreus Cherokee, a project that marked the beginning of a new design journey. As Jamra recalls, “At TypeCon 2011, I saw a presentation by three guys from the Language Technology offi ce of the Cherokee Nation in which they told their story of lobbying Apple to install a Cherokee font and keyboard on the iPhone and the iPad. They ended their presentation by asking type designers to design Cherokee fonts, because so few existed. I realized that this would be a particularly meaningful project, and so I immediately responded to their request.”

Phoreus Cherokee by JamraPatel

With Phoreus Cherokee, Jamra and Patel realized that they worked well as a team and formed JamraPatel, specializing in non-Latin scripts. The projects are “technologically complicated” according to Patel, “because of massive character sets or complex shaping.” For their work and the expansive size of the fonts they create, Patel finds that OpenType “has made it easier to develop and implement typefaces for these scripts.”

OpenType, unlike other font formats, can include over 60,000 glyphs. In addition to Phoreus Cherokee, JamraPatel has designed other typefaces, including the N’ko script used throughout West Africa for the Manding language. N’ko has 20–40 million speakers, Patel says. The studio designed N’ko for use in a range of devices, including smartphones.

iPhone keyboard with N’ko by JamraPatel.

  With every design project, Patel says that he and Jamra must “cross a threshold.” Hours of research take place as they build up a network of trusted resources and subject matter experts. The entire process requires preparation, care and working with authorities. As Patel says, “It is not until after we feel like we have a sensibility for the culture and have studied enough manuscripts that we can start to actually design the glyphs.”

They take on the research together and, according to Patel, “scour more resources this way.” Their different perspectives enable them to get different insights, and they work with linguists more and more frequently. According to Jamra, “not only are they experts in the languages behind the writing system we’re working on, but our conversations with them provide us with a sense of the relationship of languages to each other and the political, ethnic and social landscapes that languages create and exist in.”

Pen exercises by Neil Patel done at the early stages of designing N’ko.

BEYOND FORM

Jamra believes that if you want to get into designing non-Latin, then you need to do that at least on the graduate level. He cites the University of Reading’s Master of Arts in Typeface Design (MATD) program in the United Kingdom as “the most active” in doing this kind of work. At Reading, applicants who want to learn about scripts other than their own take on the challenge of designing type for global needs.

Associate professor Gerry Leonidas (foreground) and type design student Dot Georgoulas critique a design at the University of Reading.

University of Reading students Mariko Takagi (foreground) and Teja Smrekar write in Arabic.

Associate professor of typography Gerry Leonidas, who teaches at Reading, suggests that not everyone is cut out to become the kind of type designer who takes on research-intensive work. “Serious multi-script typeface design is an entirely different world from the display market graphic designers usually associate with typeface design. Not everybody can do this well. It’s a demanding, time-consuming process that requires guidance to navigate primary and secondary resources (when they exist) and to provide guidance through targeted questioning. There is no easy way, no shortcuts.”

Reading’s program is unique and has an exceptional reputation. Its graduates go on to work for large companies. Reading alum Antonio Cavedoni worked on Apple’s San Francisco typeface, used across Apple’s operating systems. Other Reading graduates start their own foundries, something Veronika Burian and José Scaglione did, teaming up to form TypeTogether.

“Typeface design is an enabling discipline: It only has value through the communication it makes possible.”

– Gary Leonidas

Leonidas says Reading attracts people who are intellectually curious. They take on the research and analysis necessary to design, but it’s more than the typefaces. “What we need to do is raise awareness of the wider typographic environment and conditions for visual communication in other cultures: the way typography and design interact with the history of a community, and the meaning of texts that look and behave in specific ways. Then the need for typefaces emerges from an understanding of the communication requirements of real people, not a gap in somebody’s type specimen. Typeface design is an enabling discipline: It only has value through the communication it makes possible.”

Adelle Sans Devanagari by TypeTogether.

TypeTogeher’s Bree was chosen as main typeface for body and titles in Deco, an ethical and ecologically aware French interior magazine.

Like others working in this area, TypeTogether, which recently celebrated its 10th anniversary, designs typefaces for a range of communication applications including Latin scripts as well as non-Latin. In addition to creating fonts for multiple writing systems for cultures all over the world, the team is also multicultural. Scaglione lives in Argentina and Burian in Spain, with other team members in Europe, the U.S. and China.

TypeTogether maintains communication among the group and works with clients from all over the world. Burian believes that “a good non-native type designer who has researched the writing system, exposed themselves to it and used the advice of excellent typographic consultants in the given script, is perfectly capable of designing a successful typeface for a script they don’t write/read.”

AwanZaman typeface in Arabic and Latin by Juliet Shen & Mamoun Sakkal, distributed by TypeTogether.

The Annual Report for The Savola Group, a major Saudi company, produced in Arabic and English editions using AwanZaman.

NEW TYPOGRAPHIC TERRITORIES

Like TypeTogether, Typotheque also designs multi-script typefaces. Based in the Netherlands, Typotheque designs not only Latin, but also Arabic, Armenian, Bengali, Cyrillic, Devanagari, Greek, Hebrew, Inuktikut and Tamil, among others.

Typotheque’s Peter Biľak is quick to point out that living in Europe, if you travel a few hours in any direction, you’ll need to speak a diff erent language. It’s a culturally diverse environment, especially when it comes to typography, unlike the U.S., where English is dominant. In 2002 Typotheque started working on Cyrillic, concurrent with advances brought about by the OpenType format.

The Cyrillic work gave Biľak confidence to work on Greek next, and in 2005 he took on Arabic, “which opened completely new territories,” Biľak says. He estimates that research was 90% of the work, with the actual production “fairly fast.” Since most of the font tools Biľak was using at the time were made primarily for designing the Latin-based fonts that read from left to right, Typotheque innovated. “When we got into Arabic, we developed our own tools, scripts and workfl ows that allowed right-to-left font production.”

In 2009 Biľak co-founded Indian Type Foundry (ITF) with Satya Rajpurohit. Biľak ran the company for four years, resigning in 2013. Biľak started TPTQ Arabic in 2015 with Kristyan Sarkis, a Lebanese-born designer in The Netherlands. A Typotheque sister company, TPTQ Arabic specializes in “high-quality Arabic typefaces and systems for bilingual typography.”

“Type design is more than a commercial enterprise—it is a cultural service.”

– Peter Biľak

As part of his ongoing research over the last five to six years, Biľak has taken on Hebrew. He sees the value in working on non-Latin scripts because of the possibility to make “a longer-lasting impact in communities, and to design something that hasn’t been done before.”

Typotheque’s Parmigiano in Hebrew

Making an impact and designing something new can happen with Latin or non-Latin typefaces, but the non-Latin domain can provide the most opportunity since so few fonts exist there. Biľak estimates that 200,000 commercial fonts are available for Latin but if you need to work with Latin and Hebrew and Arabic, there are “just a handful.” Biľak and his associates put in a lot of time to create the fonts. Like other type designers, he recognizes the importance of the work done. “Type design is more than a commercial enterprise—it is a cultural service.” Biľak’s other endeavor, Fontstand, could also be seen as a cultural service, a promoter of internationalization. Fonstand includes Korean, Russian and Arabic type foundries among its many off erings. You can rent or purchase fonts from all over the world, and Biľak plans to introduce Israeli, Japanese and others, expanding its global community.

RHYTHM AND RESEARCH

Plenty of designers have created typefaces or are creating fonts for writing systems other than their own. But the question remains: Do natives have an advantage?

This is a question at the core of typographies.fr’s Colvert project, according to Jonathan Fabreguettes. “Colvert is comprised of four families: Colvert Arabic, Colvert Cyrillic, Colvert Greek and Colvert Latin. And I decided that each family would be made by a native speaker of the concerned writing system.”

The Colvert project from typographies.fr includes four families: Colvert Arabic, Colvert Cyrillic, Colvert Greek and Colvert Latin.

The multilingual family was designed by Natalia Chuvatin (Cyrillic), Fabreguettes (Latin), Sarkis (Arabic), and Irene Vlachou (Greek). Colvert, an award-winning typeface, brought together a group of designers for a common cause, and the result deserves merit. It’s a coherent and robust typographic family for publishing and print uses with extended support for more than 100 languages.

Designing a typeface for your own language and writing system may come more naturally, but there is a hidden benefi t when designing non-native scripts. At the Type & Media program at the Royal Academy of Arts in The Hague, Biľak teaches type designers who work with Latin, as well as Arabic and Greek. When tackling non-native writing systems they begin to see things differently, and the eye-opening experience helps them bring new things to their native script designs.

Seeing is instrumental to the design process, whether or not you know the writing system, whether or not you can read it. Consider Eudald Pradell, an 18th-century punchcutter in Spain, whom Biľak cites as proof “that reading and seeing are two separate activities.” Pradell was illiterate, but produced what Biľak calls “one of the most admired typefaces ever cut in Spain.” Type design, whether for your native writing system or another, is about learning “the rhythm, flow and relationship of shapes,” Biľak says.

No matter how you see the shapes or what shapes you’re making, you have to be curious, always learning, seeing and making, always conducting research—lots and lots of research.

Online Course | Typography 101: Letterform Design

The post A World of Typography: Creating Fonts for Multiple Languages appeared first on HOW Design.

A World of Typography: Creating Fonts for Multiple Languages syndicated post

[yoramkelmer]

Hogwarts Exposed Chapter 20: Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust Part 2

It´s been a while, but welcome back. Last time we left off, Hermie Sue had woken up. Sadly.

Jamie resisted the urge to puke shout with joy and instead kissed both Hermione and Caitlin on the cheek and then gave Harry a hug. As Harry pulled away in embarrassment, he noticed Hermione smiling. “I know you all have a lot to discuss, but that will have to wait until tomorrow. Even though they have been in a coma they need their rest. The elves are bringing them something light to eat. You may both return in the morning.” Neither Harry nor Jamie wanted to leave, but they realized Madam Pomfrey knew best this is going to get extremely squicky in the third fic. As Harry leaned to kiss Hermione one more time before leaving, she asked him to push the beds together. Harry glanced toward Madam Pomfrey who nodded her head in agreement. As Jamie and Harry left the room, they glanced back to see that Caitlin and Hermione fingers were intertwined. The connection that had reached out for miles and helped Hermione to survive was now complete. Mother and daughter were together once more. 

*barf*

* * * * * *

Saturday, January 31, 2004 As the sun rose, Harry was again in his familiar position, sitting next to Hermione’s bed with her hand held in his. Hermione’s other hand still tenderly holding Caitlin’s. The first thing Hermione saw as she opened her eyes were a pair of green eyes tenderly watching her. “Hi,” she said lovingly. “Hi. How are you feeling, beautiful? The OOC is strong in this one. 

“Right now? Anything but beautiful. I feel disgusting, as if I hadn’t had a shower in weeks. What is the date anyway?” Harry hesitated for a moment before saying Saturday, January thirty-first. Hermione gasped. “Harry, a month of my life is missing. What happened?” “Don’t you remember anything?” “I remember feeling a little faint and nauseous at the Yule Ball. I told Sam I was going to step outside for some fresh air. Just as I was about to exit young Ronald Aldinger ran up to me with a box, saying it was a gift. He ran off before I could ask him whom it was from. I assumed you, but it wasn’t. It must have been a portkey. I barely touched it before I felt myself being pulled into space. When I landed I was in a snowdrift at the side of the road. My jaw was dislocated and my fingers had been smashed.” Hermione only then realized that her jaw felt fine. She looked at her hand, her fingers moved perfectly. I feel bored somehow. 

“Was it a dream Harry?” “No.” Harry squeezed her hand. “What else do you remember?” “I was naked. My clothes hadn’t transported with me. I realized that I must have been someplace else in order to receive my injuries, but I had no memory. I assumed my Animagus form and started walking the road, not having any idea where I was or was headed. Even as a wolf, I was cold and then it started snowing. I couldn’t eat and I knew that if I rested I would die. Harry, I felt so sick and weak. I wanted to lie down and die, but something inside me wouldn’t let me. A voice kept saying, ‘I won’t let you die. I’ve waited too long for you. I love you too much. I won’t let you die.’ 

You know, I think it´s strange that she didnt just use her Animagus powers while in captivity - one would think that the smartest witch of her generation would at least consider this as an option.  “Was that you Harry? Did you somehow reach me?” Harry sighed as he pointed to Caitlin who was still sleeping. “She did it. Caitlin has telepathic and hyperempath powers stronger than you can imagine. Her Sue-powers get even worse in the next fic, believe me! She felt it every time you were hurt. She had fallen asleep in the common room and woke up screaming. Her fingers were crushed the same as yours. She received a dislocate jaw the same as you did and she had pneumonia just like you. 

How convenient.  “Hermione, I have never felt so helpless. She was suffering. You were suffering. I had no clue as to where you were or who was holding you prisoner. I thought I was going to lose you both.” It was Hermione's turn to tighten her grasp on Harry’s hand. “After what seemed like days, but was probably about twelve hours I had made it to the hill overlooking the Quidditch field. I was so happy to see Hogwarts. Then everything went blank.” “You were shot, three times. Evidently, signs had been displayed offering a reward for the skin of an escaped and dangerous wolf.” 

How did they know, by the way? “Did Caitlin suffer the wounds? Where was I shot?” “She suffered the wounds, but without the lodged bullets. One bullet struck just above your breast. Another hit your rump. The third ended up in your upper thigh.” “Harry, is Caitlin all right? I can’t believe I made her suffer so.” “She is fine, but you had nothing to do with her suffering. Whoever tortured you is responsible.” “How did I get here?” “Alex talked Jamie into going for a scamper in the snow. He saw you first. Alex put you into stasis and then after putting a warming charm on her robes Jamie covered you and Alex carried you here.” “Poor Jamie, she must have been frozen in nothing but her skirt and blouse.” 

Of course she has to kiss the ass of the Main Sue.  “A little less that that. She had the two till four in the morning shift watching Caitlin and hadn’t dressed.” Hermione was horrified. “She walked here in the snow naked. What if someone from another house had seen her?” “She felt it would be better for them to see her than you. She felt you would be humiliated, possibly never be able to face the students.” “Jamie knows me quite well. Was she seen by anyone?” 

Even if so, she would have loooooved the feeling of others looking at her oh so gorgeous body - but it doesnt have anything to do with sexuality! “No students. Just Pomfrey and the Headmaster.” “What did they say?” “Well, evidently Madam Pomfrey had figured out that Jamie and Caitlin were nudists. Plus seeing people naked is a part of her job. Poor Severus was more shocked that no one else was upset with Jamie being nude. He really gave Alex the third degree while he healed Caitlin.” “What was the date when I was found?” “January third.” “I’ve been in a coma ever since?” “Yes.” “That accounts for everything from the afternoon of January second until today. Harry, a week of my life is unaccounted for. Where was I? What did I do? What was done to me?” Hermione began to cry. “Herm, I love you. We don’t know what happened that week, other than the injuries to your fingers and jaw. And we aren’t sure how they happened. Hermione, there is something else we know that happened. I don’t know exactly how to tell you.” Hermione sensed what Harry was about to say. She looked at him as tears built up ready to breach the dam when he gave the answer she knew was coming. “Harry, for a few days before the Yule Ball I was feeling nauseous; especially in the morning. I hadn’t seen Pomfrey, nor missed a period, so I wasn’t sure. Was I pregnant? Did I lose our child?” Harry simply nodded “Harry, help me sit up. Please hold me. Hold me tight.” Caitlin had woken in time to hear that her mother had been pregnant and lost the baby. She pretended to turn in her sleep as she cried for her lost little brother or sister.

Of course, Caitlin is the Queen of Angst. 

* * * * * *

The next couple of scenes are just scenes of some kind of HappyLand, of Caitlin and Hermione being together at last. 

The next scene is nauseatous:

Tuesday, February 11, 2004 Noon It was Professor Granger’s second day back on the job and she loved every bit of it. The memory or rather lack of memory surrounding her kidnapping still bothered her, but so many good things were happening that the concern had at least for the time being been pushed aside. 

She has to prepare to become a good 1930s housewife.  Harry, Caitlin and herself had been invited to dinner at Sam and Ron’s place on Sunday. Ron had given up his flat a few weeks earlier at Sam’s suggestion and moved in with her and Timmy. Timmy, in all probability, had the most enjoyable evening of his life. From the moment they walked in the door it seemed that Caitlin and Harry were vying to play with the little guy. Hermione choked back tears as she watched Harry with the little boy. Had she possibly lost her only chance at giving Harry a son? Sam seemed to read her mind and started questioning her about being an Animagus in order to get her mind on another subject. 

Timmy is the creepiest toddler ever - and he get´s worse later on. Be very afraid!  Just prior to eating, Timmy made a discovery, one that for a time caused Caitlin a bit of embarrassment. Caitlin had worn a blouse and short skirt. Obviously little Timmy must have noticed something as they were playing because he went over and lifted her skirt up as he shouted, “Look, Caydin doesn’t have no pants.” 

HOLY SHIT IS THIS CREEPY  Caitlin wasn’t embarrassed to be exposed Roll credits!, but she blushed at the fact a little boy was lifting her skirt. Despite the fact that Sam admonished Timmy, he persisted in lifting Caitlin’s skirt. “Caydin doesn’t have a pee pee.” 

NEIL YOU SICK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Finally, the third time he lifted Caitlin’s skirt; Sam slapped his hands and made him go sit in the corner. As he sat there balling, Caitlin felt extremely bad. LOL 

Sam went over and put her arm around Caitlin’s shoulder. “I forgot about you being a nudist and not wearing knickers. I know you don’t know Ron and I that well, but I have no problem with you being naked here if you desire.” “Really, do you mean it? What about Timmy? Is it okay for him to see me naked?” “Ron will probably disagree with me, but I think it’s healthy.” I think this is the scene that establishes Samantha as a fucking bitch. 

Caitlin ran over to where Hermione was sitting. “Mum, Miss Bowman says it’s acceptable for me to be nude here. May I?” Hermione looked to Harry for advice, but only receive a noncommittal shrug of the shoulders. Herm gave him a rather disgusted ‘thanks for the help’ look before turning to Samantha who encouraged her to let Caitlin do her thing. Hermione gave a slight nod of her head, but that was all Caitlin needed. She couldn’t have gotten out of her clothes faster if she had used a wand. What happened next amazed all three adults in the room. Timmy started to take off his clothes. “Me no clothes, too,” he said. 

It gets worse.  Hermione was astounded that instead of Sam stopping little Timmy, she went over and helped him get out of the balance of his clothes. In a few minutes, Timmy had run off to play with Caitlin again only this time they were both naked. Hermione and Harry both looked at Sam in astonishment as she said. “I’m not a nudist, but as I told you my best friend at school was. I agree with a lot of their beliefs. I think it’s healthy for children to see others naked. There is nothing dirty about being naked. There are just unclean minds.” 

This is the Mantra that Neil is repeating constantly throughout the Saga.  Hermione watched as Caitlin and Timmy played together. Sam is right. They are innocent. If only they could stay that way. Then she thought of Jamie and the fact that somehow she had done just that. Jamie, innocent? She is anything but innocent - the next fic will also show her to be a total hypocrite. 

Also, ALL HAIL TO THE MAIN SUE

Just then Ron who had been in the kitchen getting drinks, returned. He almost dropped the tray he was carrying when he saw Caitlin giving Timmy a piggyback ride, both of them naked. His faced turned red, but before he could say anything Timmy ran over to him. “Daddy, Caydin has a gina and I have a pemis. That’s what makes her a girl and me a big boy. Caydin never wears nothing at home. Why do I have to be pressed all the time?” 

Holy fuck....FUCK YOU NEIL!!!! “The word is dressed. Mummy and I will talk about it later. Why don’t you go play?” Timmy ran off to join Caitlin as Ron dispersed the drinks. When he got to Sam he just looked at her and smiled. “You proved your point.” Hermione squeezed Harry’s hand as she whispered, “Timmy called Ron ‘ Daddy’.” I actually don´t care. 

Harry gave his Mione a smile in return. They were both happy to see that things seemed to be working out well between Sam and Ron and that Timmy had accepted Ron as his dad. Hermione hoped she wouldn’t start an argument, but she wanted to know what point Sam had proved. “Are Harry and I missing something?” “Nothing earth shattering,” Sam answered. “Ron and I have a difference of opinion when it comes to nudity and what children should or shouldn’t see. I like to wear little or nothing around the apartment and although Ronnie personally seems to like it, he feels I’s wrong that Timmy sees me naked. I’ve been trying to convince him that nudity itself is not dirty, its people’s minds that make it dirty. Caitlin and Timmy just proved how natural and innocent it is for children, because they don’t equate it with sex. Hermione wondered if that was her problem. Did she see nakedness as dirty? There was nothing dirty about Timmy and Caitlin. Why when you became an adult did nudity suddenly become dirty? Maybe it didn’t. Maybe it was only people’s minds that made it seem that way. Hermione had become quite fond of Sam. She realized that the relationship that Harry, Ron and her had during school had changed and could never be the same, but now she hoped that perhaps the two couples could establish a special friendship.

With Ron as the buttmonkey. 

* * * * * *

And now, we get to the point of this chapter that Neil had foreshadowed in the last couple of chapters, especially hard in the Holiday-section. It´s quite amusing. Let it begin:

BR> Monday at breakfast had been touching for Hermione. Before the meal was served, Severus had stood and welcomed her back to the staff. All the staff and students had stood and applauded her return. She remembered standing with tears in her eyes. Harry whispered in her ear, “They all love you, but not as much as me.” 

*barf*

Even, Ginny, Draco and Neville seemed happy that she was back. 

Notice that the subplot of Draco and Neville trying to fancy Hermione never whent anywere? She thought about the last few days and how wonderful it was to be with her friends and students. Just as she was about to enter the Great Hall for lunch she saw Harry hurrying down the corridor and waited for him. They had just taken their seats when the Headmaster entered. Severus looked shaken and sad as he approached Hermione’s seat. 

Time for some conflict! “Hermione, I know you’ve just gotten back to work and under different circumstances I’d have someone else handle this, but I don’t imagine you would like it that way. Please come with me. Harry, perhaps you will be good enough to join us?” 

What could it possibly be? Hermione and Harry gave each other questioning glances as the Headmaster led them to a room adjoining the Great Hall. Upon entering, he indicated for them to take a seat. Severus had a grave look on his face as his he took a seat across from Harry and Hermione. He took a deep sigh before speaking. “I’m afraid there has been a tragic accident. Hermione, it concerns a Gryffindor student; therefore I thought you might want to handle it.” Severus hesitated as if not wanting to tell Hermione what had occurred. “Jamie Zacherley’s parents were killed this morning by a drunken muggle driver as they crossed a street near their home.”

DUN DUN DUUN 

I can´t really take this serious, since this is mostly played for total drama and angst - kinda like the nipple eating.    “Noooo!” Was the only response Hermione could get out before she broke into tears; Harry quickly moved to comfort her. 

LOL

In total seriousness, I can´t take this serious - Hermione is, as you will see in a moment, more emotional about than Jamie Sue is. Also, this leaves me cold because we never really got to know her parents that much - seriously, apart from the fact that they are nudists and faux-holocaust survivors and would have welcomed Jamie shagging Harry, what do we know about them, as persons?

Nothing. 

* * * * * *

Friday, February 13, 2004 The weather was equal to the mood of those attending, both somber and dreary. Alex, Tony and Harry waited with Hermione, Caitlin and Amanda until the hearses pulled to a stop and then went to their assigned positions along with the other pallbearers to wait for further instructions. A long black car followed the hearse. As the driver opened the passenger door, Hermione was stunned to see that only two young girls step out. Jamie and her sister, Emily stood with the funeral director. Hermione couldn’t help but stare. She didn’t remember ever meeting Emily, but she looked extremely familiar. 

I thought she had met Emily from when she and her parents visited Jamie on Hogwarts?

This here is played as Hermione realises that she is the girl from the vision the Mirror of Ytidun showed her.  The pallbearers grasped the handles of the twin coffins, carrying them down the path and through the door of the sanctuary. Once inside the coffins were placed on two tables draped in black fabric, which sat at the front of the building. The pallbearers sat then and waited for the rest of the congregation to arrive. Hermione sat behind Harry along with Amanda and Caitlin. The organist began to play a slow mournful selection as the church started to fill. Hermione watch as Jamie and Emily took a seat in the first row. The service started. The organ’s drone ceased as the service began. Hermione thought to herself how close she had come to occupying a coffin. “…Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff comfort me…. I will fear no evil.

Fuck you Neil, this is my favourite psalm! Don´t drag it down to your perversions!

* * * * * *

Rest in Peace 

This pause was pointless.  “…The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious unto you. The Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace, both now and evermore. Amen.” Since I´m jewish, his use of this in his perverted fic makes my blood boil. 

The organ started playing again as the funeral director signaled to the pallbearers. All twelve stood and walked toward the caskets, which they hoisted onto their shoulders. They carried the coffins out of the church as the organ droned on with its sad song. The congregation followed behind the pallbearers, led by the vicar, Jamie and Emily. At the grave, the caskets were lowered onto the boards that lay across the open graves. The pallbearers backed off as the vicar took his position between the identical caskets. Hermione reached out and took Harry’s hand in hers. She had been crying. As the vicar continued to speak men from the funeral home replaced the planks with webbing and then the caskets were lowered into the ground. “…Unto, Almighty God we commend the soul of our sister, Jennifer and our brother, Carl. Did we get to know their names before the funeral? I can´t remember, but I would not really be surprised if Neil suddenly realised that he forgot to give Jamies parents names before he killed them off for drama. 

Hermione felt so sorry for Jamie and Emily as they stood holding each other, tears streaming down their faces. They looked so alone and frightened. She wished she could hold them both in her arms. “…and we commit these bodies to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust…” Now you see why this chapter is called so. 

Lastly, the vicar led them in the familiar words of the Lord’s Prayer. “And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil…” “Amen.” The vicar quietly walked away from the grave as one by one the mourners walked by Jamie and Emily and offered their condolences. They then turned to walk back up the path and resume their normal lives. For Jamie and Emily that was not an option; their parents were dead. 

duh.  The Hogwarts group held back until all the other mourners had left and then approached Jamie and her sister. Jamie introduced her sister and then quietly talked to all her friends as Harry and Hermione waited. Jamie left Emily standing with Caitlin and the others as she walked over to Harry and Hermione. She fought to hold the tears back as she first put her arms around Harry. “Thank you for being my knight, my professor and a good friend.” 

I totally don´t care.  She then turned and hugged Hermione with all her strength. “I’m going to miss you. You always were and always will be more than a professor to me. “Miss me?” Hermione questioned with a shocked expression on her face. Jamie couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. “I’m leaving Hogwarts.” DUN DUN DUNNNNNN End of Chapter 20

Will Jamie Zacherley leave Hogwarts, and thereby restore canon? Or will she twist this world even further? 

Let´s find out the next time!