#neighbor romance
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#the duff#kody keplinger#hamilton high#designated ugly fat friend#enemies to lovers#high school romance#bianca piper#wesley rush#bianca and wesley#wesley x bianca#he falls first#matchmaker gone wrong#matchmaker#neighbor romance#playboy in love#two person love triangle#books recommendations#new books#libros recomendados#libros#frase libro#booklover#book couples#booknerd#fling#one night stand#couple aesthetic#book quotes#books and reading#book tumblr
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oh i just ADORE me some good neighbor romance
like you're telling me there's this absolute hunk of a man who lives next door??? and i meet him without really leaving my house?? sounds like a dream to me
(and he'll rail me?? in both of our flats?? SIGN ME TF UP)
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Beauty and the Beast
An event where you are a woman in the 50s trying to turn the head of your neighbor, Francis Mosses when you are stalked and pursued by his evil counterpart.
Art by ilameys
Zettai Zetsumei ⢠Co shu Nie
Word Count: 5.7k
â ď¸: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT ⼠Manhandling, Slight body horror descriptions, descriptions of blood, himbo!doppelgänger!Francis Mosses, Yandere Behavior, Mentions of Stalking, sexualization of the female MC by Fake Francis, SMUT(CNC, mentions of a "rape kit"), and monster cock.
I write for free, but if you wanna further support me > Ko-Fi đ
Life was somewhat boring for you as a woman in the 50s. Despite being sought after by a lot of the men in your apartment complex, you had your heart set on one man. You only got to see him once a day. Francis Mosses. When he would deliver milk to your door in the morning. No matter how cute or cherry you were, it seemed like his mind was set on other things. The man always looked tired but you thought he was handsome no matter what. Maybe even more handsomeâŚit was just something about hot men being tired that made them so much hotter.
You had hoped that eventually, heâd notice you and finally take you on a date!
But that hope soon faded when you read the newspapers. They talked about how doppelgängers are becoming a lot more frequent and the D.D.D. would be installing new units everywhere to ensure that no evil counterparts are making their way into the homes of others and killing people. You were able to tell if this made you feel safer or a lot more scared. What if someone made a mistake�
Well, you didnât have a chance to feel anything really, as the D.D.D. was extremely secretive about this kind of threat. After some time, it became normalized and it soon left your mind. The Doorman job seemed to be pretty effective as you had never seen any monsters before and were very much alive. It was rumored that the creatures would murder and eat any person they encountered if they succeeded in passing as humans. This is another reason you had your heart set on Francis. You felt as though he could protect you at a time like this. Maybe it was naive of you but after all, you were just a girl.
âGood Morning.â
Upon hearing the small knock at your door, you went to greet him. Francis stood tall, rather confused about you coming to get your bottled milk so quickly.
âOh, good morningâŚâ He replied flatly, gripping the strap of his milk bag. You thought that maybe he had a mutual crush on you and was too shy to act on it. So, you could take that step for him.
âHow are you this morning? I hope that life is agreeing with you today.â You stepped outside of your apartment door with your glass of milk in hand. Francis shrugged. âI suppose it is.â He then yawned before saying âWhatâs wrong? Are you looking for another?â
You blinked. âHuh?â Your eyes then darted down to your hands. âO-OhâŚsure.â You smiled attractively, causing him to break eye contact with you. He reached into his milk carrier and revealed and took out another. âYouâre only allowed to get one every day but you can have mine.â He walked up to you and placed the bottle into your free hand.
âTh-Thanks!â
âDonât mention it.â
After he disappeared around the corner, you were filled with joy! That interaction was such a good sign. He gave you his milk bottle. You had to make him something for dinner tonight as a gift!
Thunk!
You almost jumped at the sound of glass falling on the carpet at the far end of the hallway behind you. It looked like an empty milk bottle if you squinted hard enough. There was a shadow as well. It made you feel uneasy and quickly made you retreat into your home.
You wanted to try seeing if you could have more time with Francis. There was a job opening for the D.D.D. Doorman of your building and you instantly took it. Being able to meet with Francis when he wasnât busy might have your conversations with him take a turn for the better. You really appreciated his selfless gesture. So, seeing him at least twice a day would make your life so much brighter. Francis was the complete package. Tall, handsome, quiet, and most of all, soft-spoken. Youâd be a good wife to him.
On the first day of the job, you didnât receive any proper training. You were given an informational video and a set of instructions that you scrambled to memorize as a long line of your neighbors awaited their inspection outside. The job was easy at first and you did it well. It was a chore but those are easy. You let in the right people and you called the D.D.D. when you found a doppelganger like you were instructed to. Unfortunately, at the end of the day, Francis didnât pay you any mind. You gave him a soft smile through the glass before asking him about his day.Â
âI hope work is treating you well.â You pitched your voice up to sound cuter. Your graceful hands moved swiftly as you sifted through the many layers of documents, trying to organize them before your next neighbor. âYeah, I suppose.â He answered, blinking rather slowly. Your smile widened. âAny days off soon? Iâd like to see you outside of your uniform.â You winked at him and he just shrugged. âDunno.â
âWell, maybe, sometime after your hard work, you tell me a day youâd think you would be free?âÂ
You waited with anticipation for his response. He seemed rather confused and it was rather adorable. Then he said âI donât really know. I think Iâm busy but Iâll let you know if that changes.â
Your smile faltered just a little but you were good at faking emotions. âOh, no worries.â You waved him off in a playful manner before pressing the button to allow him inside. Your shift ended and you thought that you should probably get to making that dinner for him as a âthank youâ for the free milk. As you began to clean up, the pressure of your job began to set in. This wasnât something that you could just quit if Francis were to reject you. Ignoring all the unexplainable noises, the dark figures, and the constant feeling of being watched, it would be very awkward seeing him every day after that.
It was a new day. Francis came to check into the building and you let him go without chatting with him because you didnât want to seem like a bother. ButâŚthen you saw him again.
âFrancis?â You cutely tilted your head. The way he looked at you was much different than usual. The Francis you knew could barely make meaningful eye contact with you but right now he had no problem burning holes into your skull with his eyes. Not only that but he was visibly bigger as well. Taller and more masculine. His arms were big and veiny. This was NOT Francis Mosses.
âI-IDâŚ?â You gave a nervous half-smile as you tried to hide your stutter. The humanoid creature gawked, a subtle sense of happiness washing over its face the longer it stayed there. âDonât have it on me.â It replied plainly. You picked up the clipboard before exing out the box that was labeled âID.â
âW-Well, you seem to look a lot like someone whoâs already checked in. Please, give me a moment to confirm.â You flashed it a close-eyed smile. Upon seeing it, the fake Francis moved closer to the window, fogging it up with its mouth breathing.
You pressed the big red button to close the shutter before dialing the number to the D.D.D.Â
The representative told you someone would be over right away to dispose of the doppelgänger. It only took about a minute before theyâd arrive. Normally, the shutter would open on its own after being reset by the D.D.D. member but for some reason, it didnât You figured that now would be a good time to open it to help the last neighbors but when you did, you were not met with the hazmat suit you were so familiar with.Â
In front of you was the same fake Francis from before, now covered in some blood. His expression was one of annoyance and the veins in his arms were pulsating as if he were trying to contain some kind of anger.
âE-Excuse me, but you need toâ!â
âLet me in.â
Your heart dropped. It talked! And it sounded just like Francis too.Â
You shook your head. âN-No! Iâm not letting a monster in.â You reached for the number to re-dial the number again.
âBut I think you look so pretty today. You wore that just for me, huh? Iâd love to t-tear it off of you.â The creatureâs neck involuntarily cracked its neck, twisting it in a demonic way. You screamed at the sight, pressing the button once more to close the shutters so that you wouldnât have to see it. As they went down, the doppelgänger tried to stop it by putting his hand under it. It got caught in the track, causing it to get stuck on the track and it was open halfway.
âCome on, Darling, I know youâre not about to call those bastards again. I donât want to have to hurt anyone else.â The large man-creature crouched down. You could see his fanged canine teeth poking out of his mouth. You backed away from the window with the telephone in hand.
3312âŚ
You listened to the dial tone for a few seconds before the receptionist answered.
âHello?â
âP-Please send help!â You cried over the phone. Tears began to spill out of your eyes upon hearing the squeal of metal as the predator stretched and bent it to his will. The glass was the only thing left that could stop him from entering.
You saw how abnormally long his tongue was when it glided over his lips. âI just want to taste youâŚâ
The receptionist dispatched another group of workers to help dispose of the doppelgänger. They arrived almost instantly. It was only then that the fake Francis moved away from the window. You sighed in relief, trying to calm yourself down from the events that transpired. You ran over to the tempered glass. The mental door looked like sheet paper.
You saw no trace of the Hazmat people but you also didnât see the fake Francis anymore. You quickly gathered your things and rushed to leave. You opened the door to let yourself out. You planned to run to your room and lock the door but as soon as you had left the room, you bumped into a stiff, toned chest. The figure grabbed you by your neck and forced you to look at them. The gloved hand was covered in blood and it stained your skin and the collar of your dress.
âWhere do you think youâre going, Princess?â
His grip around your throat was so tight that you werenât able to form words. It was completely covered in blood and in its other hand was a knife dripping with blood as well. It kept the violence to one side of the room so that you werenât able to see anything unless you completely left the screening room.
The light clank of the knife hitting the ground could be heard and its newly free hand grabbed your waist. The doppelgänger hugged you to its masculine chest. Its head rested itself on top of yours before it planted its nose in the crown of your head before inhaling your scent deeply. The blaring sound of the alarm continued to go off and it was deafening.
Your nose was overloaded with the scent of fresh blood. The pure shock didnât let you resist his touch. His grip loosened and you dropped everything you had in your hands on the floor, staining it in with the red substance
âP-Please.â
You felt its large hand around the back of your neck and you feared that it would snap it and kill you any second. You held your breath as you felt it set the other hand on your waist as well, rubbing it gingerly.
It felt like the doppelgänger was sizing you up to see if youâd be a good enough meal for it.
âHe-ey, beautiful. It's⌠okayâŚâÂ
The doppelgängerâs speech was somewhat disconnected but it was fluid for the most part. At first, it was clear he was a fake but the more he kept talking, the more it sounded like the real thingâŚlike it was learning in real time.
Your heart rate accelerated when you felt its hand travel ever so slowly from your waist to the collar of your dress. The inhuman smile on its face widened and it suddenly ripped the cloth that covered your torso. You gasped, instinctively covering your now exposed bra.
You wiggled out of its grip and used the opportunity to run. You kicked off your pumps and ran barefoot to your apartment. All you could do was hope that more of the D.D.D. would come and solve the issue before anyone else could get hurt. The emergency alarm was still going off so the authorities should be there soon.
When you arrived at your door, you tried to scramble to look for your keys so that you could get inside butâŚ
âŚyou remembered that you dropped them along with the rest of your possessions.
The sound of heavy footsteps approaching behind you. The large shadow engulfed your smaller form.
âAllow me.â The stranger said, calmly. Their large fist went through the door handle, shattering the lock and making it completely useless. You were too shocked to try running again. It found you.
The doppelganger shoved you against the door, swinging it open and causing you to fall forward inside of your home. You hit the floor with a soft but swift thud. âI see the way you look at him.â Its voice was laced with venomâanger but left more to be desired. It was playing with you awfully long for a creature that was trying to kill you.
âBut youâd never look at me that wayâŚâ
The Fake Francis entered the apartment making sure to secure the door behind it so that you couldnât run anymore. You cried and whimpered as it took its sweet time pushing your bookcase in front of the door so no one would intervene with what was supposed to happen next.
âI-I donât know what youâreââ You couldnât even finish your sentence as it smashed its lips into yours. Its tongue was like that of a serpent, slipping its way into your mouth. You tried to push it away but any attempts just resulted in your lips connecting once more. It was too strong.Â
You were terrified but it passed so much for the real Francis.
âTell me you donât like it ân Iâll stop.â It whispered into your mouth before it French kissed you once more. You kissed it back, unable to resist his appearance any longer. When it pulled away, a string of saliva connected between both of your mouths. Itâs warm breath hits the surface of your face, eyes full of lust and horror.
Itâs soft lips attached themselves to your neck, biting and sucking until your skin slowly began turning red. âMmm.â It hummed deeply, traveling lower and lower until it reached the cavern between your breasts. âYouâre sensitive here, arenât you?â It placed kisses in the valley of your chest, waiting for a reply. You were unable to form words at this point. It wanted to ravage you and steal your innocence. It took your idleness as consent, continuing on with satisfying itself and by extension, satisfying you.
It took the delicate hand you had been using to drive a wedge between the both of you. You thought that at this point it was going to break your arm! You squeezed your eyes shut, ready to endure the pain butâŚit didnât. You felt the heated bulge beneath itâs bloodied white trousers. It throbbed.Â
Thatâs when it finally clicked for you. It wasnât playing with you like you were food. It wasnât trying to taste you and pick itâs teeth with your bones. It wanted to be with you. To breed you.
âIâah~âĄ!â You bit down on your lip to contain the pretty moans that left your mouth. Your bra was removed, fully exposing your breasts. Its tongue touched the tip of your nipple and its mouth enveloped over your entire areola. It licked and sucked on the bud until it was nice and hard. The other hand was subtly slipped under your dress.
It took barely any strength at all to rip the fabric, showing how inappropriately wet youâd become from this activity. It craved the essence that was oozing from your tiny cunt.
At the feeling of the cold wind, you brought your legs together just to have them forced apart again. The creature made you feel so small and vulnerable. It used force when it felt necessary but overall, it wasâŚ.soft. Licking, kissing, biting but no drawing blood, taste, loving.
It salivated at your legs, raising one and nuzzling the side of its face into the smooth skin. âSoâŚgorgeous.â It pulled you forward. âWhen I saw you, I knew I wanted you.â
âY-You didâŚ?â You squeaked. Itâs touch sent goosebumps from your limp to the rest of your body. âTwo years Iâve been watching you. It was so damn annoying seeing you talk to that piece of meat.â
Piece of meat?
âI donât know who you mean.â You shied away from the perfect creature. Could it meanâŚ
âF-Francis?â You knitted your eyes together in confusion.
âYesâHIM!â The doppelgänger dropped your leg and pulled you by your thighs to its crotch. ââŚI could never decide what skin would be the best to pursue you in. But then Iâd see the way you look at him.â Pre-cum was beginning to show from its member inside. You could feel the wet fabric on the lips of your hot cunt. âSo, I became himâŚbut better.â
You heard the subtle unzipping sound of the pants and it took out its thick cock. It was larger than normal and didn't look like the standard male genitalia. Youâd need to use both hands to hold it.
There was no denying this thing could perfectly replicate a human man. Before you could even react, the big âmanâ picked you up by your hair.
âGet on your knees.â He commanded and you felt obligated to obey him. Youâve never been in a situation where you were being held up by a man like this.
âIâm gonna split you in half with this cock.â He pushed its large tip against your cheek, straining it with warm cum. âOpen your mouth.â
Your lips parted for a moment but you hesitated. There was no way that whole thing could fit into your mouth. Your eyes traveled up to his for guidance. He only stared down at you with hard, tired eyes. The corner of his mouth tugged upward into a smirk.
âI saidâŚopen your mouth.â
He spoke through his teeth as if it were a threat. You were reluctant but tried to ease it in. You kissed his tip, causing him to grunt and tighten his fist around your hair. âOpen.â He growled, yanking your head back. His cock was so close to your face that you could truly take in its side. It was nearly the length of your skull.Â
You opened your mouth out of fear and he shoved it inside. He was kind enough to let you get used to it in your throat by going soft and slowâŚor maybe he was just distracted by the imprint showing on your throat.Â
You grabbed his hips to keep yourself from falling backward. Even a bit of force made you lose your balance. âGood girl.â He sighed, relaxing into you, pushing the limits by pushing it deeper. Your choking and gagging only made him feel pleasure.
âYou struggling with my dick in your mouth is so hot.â You heard him mutter under his breath. Your eyes began to water from the choking, causing tears to carry mascara down your cheeks.
âKeep sucking.â He fucked into your throat and gentle too. âIâm close.â
 Both of his hands found themselves on the back of your head. He sped up his pace until a loud groan emitted from his chest and a mysterious liquid found its way down your throat.
The doppelgänger let go of your hair. You fell back on your bottom and he crouched down. âHey.â He called, grabbed both sides of your face with one hand. He squeezed your cheeks together. âSwallow.â
You swallowed what was left and once he knew it was in your belly, his lips crashed into yours. His tongue wormed its way into your mouth and explored every cavern.
You felt yourself get lifted again but this time to your feet. He walked you over to your dining table and shoved you into it. âBend over.â
You didnât really get a choice. When you tried to stand, he forced you down to the table with his hand on the back of your head.Â
You expected him to say something, but he stayed silent. You felt him explore your backside from your hips to your exposed ass. The wind was so cold but his hands were so warm.
He chuckled darkly, spreading your ass cheeks and sticking his shaft in between. His dick was so much bigger than you that you would definitely have a belly bulge because of it. He wanted to experience it for himself.
You waited with silent anticipation for him what he would do next. You werenât too sexually active anymore because you wanted to reserve that for the real Francis, if you ever got the chance with him, so you were really nervous about having something so big inside.
âUah!â You squeaked, feeling a wet, warm muscle enter the deepest part of your cunt. It was his tongue!
You whipped your head around to see that his face was buried in you from behind. âMmm.â You heard him hum vibrations into you. He consumed all of your juices as they came out. It mustâve tasted so good coming from a pretty human like you.
With every moan and whimper that left your mouth, it made his dick grow harder and harder. He didnât stop until you had creamed all over his tongue. So much came out that it got all over his face too.
âI-Is that it? Is that what you wantâŚ?â You asked, but you were only ignored.
âPick a hole.â
âWh-whaââ
âPick a hole, or I will.â
PickâŚa holeâŚ?
His large thumb massaged your asshole while his knuckles, now sleek with your cream, was stimulating your pussy.
âUmâŚIââÂ
âBoth it is!â
Your eyes widened. âWait, what?!â
You felt his thumb sink deep into your ass while he struggled to get his large tip into your pussy. âDamn youâre fucking tight.â He growled through his teeth. His free hand grabbed your ass, fingers sinking in so deep theyâd leave marks.Â
âW-Wait, you have to go slow!â You cried, face heating up from being touched in such filthy ways. âI am.â He grumbled, pushing the limits of your vagina by forcing himself inside. Despite going at the pace of a snail, the pain of trying to fit himself inside didnât decrease at all. You helplessly clawed at the table beneath you. It didnât matter how wet you were. He was too big.
It took a moment but he was able to get it. It slipped in with much ease on his end but the difference inside made you gasp so hard you needed to cover your mouth.
The doppelgänger began thrusting without warning, quickly overstimulating you. You could feel him in your stomach too. You reach back to push him off of you but he just grabbed your arm and kept it. There wasnât much you could do to get someone this big off of you. You would only take it.
âP-PleaseâŚI canât take it!â You gapped out, drool escaped your mouth as you tried to form words. He was fucking you so hard you couldnât even think. All that could be heard around the room was the lewd slapping of his filled balls against the bottom of your pussy.Â
âBeg for it then. Say you love me.â His breath hitched. âSay you want me and Iâll let you go.â
âIââ Slap!Â
You tried to speak. âI waââ Slap!
It seemed that when you tried to comply with him, heâd remove the hand playing with your asshole to leave a rough, skin-reddening slap on your ass. Your struggling amused him. He couldnât help but smile.
The doppelgänger has been stalking you for so long. It was hard getting into your apartment normally because of the last doorman but he couldnât resist you once you were sitting at that desk.
âWhatâs wrong?â He teased, his deep voice going soft. âMy dick isnât in your mouth anymoreâŚso whatâs the issue?â He chuckled. âBeg.â
âI want you!â You blurted out.
âYouâŚwant me? Say thereâs no one else. Say you love me!â It was like music to his ears, really. It was helping him reach his climax.
âIâŚI love youââ
âFUCK!â
Your belly bulge quickly became bigger as his cum painted your walls and womb. Even with his dick growing more flaccid, he continued to fuck his cum into you so that you both knew who you belonged to now. Tears spilled out of your eyes as you squirted onto his cock, mixing your juices together.
âI love you too, Princess. More than you could ever imagineââ Before he could finish, his ears perked up almost like an animal. His attention turned towards your door that he had destroyed before. âHere they come.â He muttered, putting his member back into his pants.
You weakly lifted yourself from the table. Your hand placed itself tight below your navel. It was so sore now. âWhoâs comingâŚ? What are you talking aboutâŚ?â
The doppelgänger ignored you, its horns flesh and bones began contorting and changing color. Its physique turned from that of a huge masculine man to the familiar form of that of a D.D.D. member. Yellow suit and all.Â
It ran to the door, opening it, and sticking its head out. âI found her, she's in here!â Its voice changed to a generic man as well. Not at all like the deep gruff from before.
Your legs felt like jelly, you fell to the ground as soon as you were able to stand. They were numb from the pleasure, leaving you unable to walk.
What happened next went by as a blur. The D.D.D. Reinforcement Team took you to a hospital where you were taken care of and given rape kit. You were unable to refuse it once the forensics team found semen at the scene. In order to maintain faith in the D.D.D., your assault was largely covered up but only those who were in the apartment that day knew about it.
After the commotion of filing our paperwork and giving information, you were sent home. You didnât sustain any life threatening injuries but you were asked to come in periodically to see how your body would react to having the semen of a doppelgänger inside of youâŚso now you were a bit of a test subject to them. You quit the job after that but you were quickly replaced by a new guy.Â
You hadnât seen the doppelgänger the entire time. Or at least, you thought you didnât. You wanted to process the situation but you were more confused as to why it craved so much validation from you. It wanted you to say you loved it. It wanted you to say that you wanted it. It said that itâs been waiting two years to be this close to you. It looked like Francis.
You had just arrived back home. Carpenters quickly replaced your door before you got home and you decided to continue life as usual by making dinner for yourself. Your heart still aches from the fear you felt when you thought you were going to die. And so did your vagina. It didnât bleed, thank god, but it was sore to the touch from how big that monster was.
âMan, I thought youâd never come back.â
You were alone in your kitchen when a voice emitted from behind you. The familiarity in the voice made your heart drop. You quickly turned around to see the doppelgänger from before, masquerading as Francis again.
âWhat are you doing here? What do youââ
âShh, princess.â He strided through your small kitchen, stepping so close to you that you were against the counter with nowhere else to go. You placed your hands on his chest, giving you the illusion that you could push him away. He grabbed your arm by the wrist before kissing the inside of your palm. He kissed your fingers and then the back of your hand before making you cup his cheek, which he nuzzled into lovingly.
You wanted to rip your hand away but his grip was so strong. You blushed. Was it wrong to admit that heâŚit, was attractive?Â
âWhy didnât you kill me and eat me? Why did you do that to me?â You questioned meekly. His eyes were closed, enjoying your warm touch with a smile before they opened. His eyes were like hunter's eyes. âBecause I love you.â He replied flatly.Â
âI donât know what that meansâŚâÂ
You opened your mouth to speak again but you were cut off by a knock at your door.Â
âIâll get it.â The doppelgänger quickly said and in a mere second, it shapeshifted to turn intoâŚyou. It was able to mimic you in all your glory, including the hickeys, bites and bruises from your attack.
âNo!â You blurted out. âDonât do that.â
The doppelgänger allowed you to move away from it and your arm fell to your side. You went to get the door but you made sure to check who it was before opening.
It was Francis!
âItâs him!â You hurried to your bedroom to find your cardigan to cover your tattered clothes before answering the door.
âFrancis? What brings you here?â You forced a smile but your eyes looked just as tired as his. You couldnât hide anything from him.
âI heard what happened. âm so glad youâre okay.â Francis sighed, quickly invading your personal space. He hugged you to his chest. You blinked âF-FrancisâŚ?â
âI felt all torn up when I thought you died but when I heard that you were just fine, I just had to come see you myself.â Your stomach burned with delight. Francis was worried about you?
Francis let go of you and you pulled away. His face was red like he was blushing and you couldnât help but blush too. Your lips curled into a smile. âW-Well, Iâm a lot tougher than I look.â
He wanted to smile back but he couldnât. He saw the marks on your skin. You were hurt. âI know you are.â He masked his sadness with a weak smile. He rested his hand on your head and ruffled it a bit.
It would probably be inappropriate for him to admit that heâs actually had feelings for you all this time, so heâd save it for another day. Hearing the news about the doppelgänger through gossip during his job of going door to door made him realize he could lose you at any moment. But today, he settled with placing a kiss at the crown of your head. âStay safe. Iâll check on you again later.â
For a moment, everything in your life went still. Even after he had walked away and left you standing there, it didnât feel real. This more or less confirmed he had a crush on you as well. No man just does that and doesnât see you as more than just a neighbor.
Your heart fluttered as you came back to reality. You slipped back inside of your home. You need to get cleaned up! You had to bathe and find something suitable just in case Francis wanted to come inside upon your next meeting.
But thenâŚ.
âYou look awfully happy.â
The doppelgänger was still here. You gulped, seeing his much bigger form. He grabbed the sides of your face with his hand again. He didnât bother crouching because of your size difference, leaving you standing on the tips of your toes.
You were too shocked to try defending yourself, so he continued. âI saw everything so donât even try to lie. That bastard is so lucky that I have to lay low until the D.D.D. gets their claws out of you or else I wouldâveâŚâ
âDonât hurt him!â You tried to beat and punch his arm to get him off but he didnât budge. âWhy not?!â
âBecauseâŚIâll be sad. And you donât want me to be sad, do you?â Your voice was unlabeled and lacked confidence. It was a Hail Mary but youâd do anything to prevent Francis from getting hurt.
âShit.â The doppelgänger let go of you, setting you back on your feet. It seemedâŚconflicted. He paced around your living room briefly. It had a soft spot for you but you could tell it has trouble processing emotions like a person. It was just imitating a person to get what it wanted.
âYou donât want him. You just wanna marry a guy. Iâll marry you.âÂ
You shook your head. âNo. Y-You canât. Youâre not him.â
âOf course I am.â His expression became mischievous. A smirk settled on his handsome face. âYou can even call me Francis in bed if it fancies you.âÂ
You felt your stomach do a flip!
âNo! Iâm not calling you that. Even though you look just like himâŚwh-what do I call you anywayâŚ?â You retreated inward, hugging yourself and looking quite nervous as if the situation was beginning to dawn on you. You were currently desired by one of the most dangerous beings in the world.
âFrancis.â
âStop! Iâm never using that name for you.â You got angry enough to shove him but he didnât move an inch. You quickly realized that you shouldnât push too hard or else it might change its mind and kill you.Â
âMmmâŚ.â You pursed your lips, avoiding eye contact with the monster. âWh-What about Franz? Is that good enough for youâŚ?â
Franz, huh?
âPerfect.â
Tagged Folks: @z3r0art @chilifrylizard2
#that's not my neighbor#thats not my neighbor#francis mosses#Francis Mosses x reader#Milk Man#Milk man x reader#Yandere Milk Man x Reader#Yandere francis mosses#tnmn#doppleganger#dark romance
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gojo satoru x reader | fake marriage au [18+]
in holy matriphony ch4. in a motherâs eyes
á° pairing. fake marriage au - neighbor&realtor!gojo x nurse!reader (ft. choso x reader & suguru x reader)
á° summary. gojo satoru is your extremely annoying next-door-neighbor who you're pretty sure is the most insufferable man you've ever met. given the fact that you exclusively work the night shift at a chaotic emergency dept, just got broken up with your boyfriend of seven years, and have been taking care of your sick mother ever since her multitude of diagnoses, yet somehow your neighbor is the main source of stress in your life should speak volumes. but when your mother's medical bills start to skyrocket to more than you can manage, and you learn that said neighbor of yours has the best private health insurance plan in the country, you ask him to enter a matrimonial agreement with you for the spousal benefits all in the name of saving a few hundred thousand dollars. but you'll have to see if suffering cohabitation w him is worth any amount of money.
á° genre/tags. fluff, smut, angst, enemies to lovers (sort of), annoyances to lovers (that's more like it), small town romance, fake marriage, next door neighbors, lots of bickering, suburban shenanigans, slow burn, mutual pining, gojo likes to play house but you don't, hatred for the american healthcare system, gojo always forgets to mow the lawn, jealousy, an insane amount of profanity, mentions of cigarettes, depression/anxiety; btw gojo in this fic is in his mid 30s n reader is in her late 20s
á° warnings. reader in this fic has a sick mother w alzheimer's & cancer so there is secondary medical angst!!
á° chapter. 4/x
á° words. 10k (omg a whole number...very sexy)
a/n. hellooo my ihm friends! hope you're all doing well. ahh i'm glad to finally be posting this chapter lolol. it's a littleee off tangent from what happens in ch3, but still has some important plot developments. it does dive into feelings of depression & anxiety, so just wanted to give a warning on that! but yea other than that i hope you enjoy and see you at the bottom!! :) also so sorry if there are errors i only had time to skim through it once :((
nav. ch1 :: ch2 :: ch3 :: ch4 :: ch5 (pending)
âJust go ahead and sign right here for me.â
You take the pen from the hospice nurseâs hand. Itâs cheap black plastic with a pink fuzzy pom pom attached to the end of it with peeling glue.Â
Your eyes briefly flit across the paragraphs detailed in printed ink until your gaze lands on the highlighted lines at the bottom of the page. Your signature. Spouseâs signature.
âWeâll need to have your husband come here to sign the paperwork as well, since heâll have to add your mother on his list of dependents, but we can certainly get started on expediting this process for you since the insurance has already been pre-approved,â the nurse tells you as she accepts your signed paperwork and then neatly tucks it into one of the compartment holders.Â
The afternoon goes by smoothly, with your mother surprisingly patient as she sits in the waiting room while you wait for the nurses to formally show you to her new room.
You thought that you could put off putting her in hospice for a little longer, because in all honesty, you werenât prepared to let her go just yet. You werenât prepared to not have her in the house anymore. But lately, sheâs been putting herself in lots of danger, like attempting to take her own medications when she does not know the correct dosing, and forgetting things on the stove when she attempts to cook.
But the last straw was when you came home from a very brief run to the grocery store at night a couple days ago to see a handful of your neighbors out on the front lawn with your mother at their side. She had apparently gotten out of the house and walked down the neighborhood, then fallen on the sidewalk but was unable to get up. When your neighbors had found her, a miracle as they were just coming home from dinner and caught sight of her in the illumination of their headlights, they tried to help her get up but she couldnât. She couldnât even tell the firefighters that came by to help her what her name was, or what year it was, or where she lived.
It was when you realized you couldnât even keep her safe anymore that you had to let go.
âIs that a wedding ring?â your mother asks, pointing a trembling finger to it as she lays tucked inside her new hospice bed, âare you married?â
You glance down at the ring Gojo gave you in the courthouse, almost surprised to find that you were still wearing it in good faith. âYes, mom. I am.â
âWhy am I here?â she asks you, âI donât want to be here.â
You stiffen a little. Although you were mentally preparing yourself to answer these questions, the preparation didnât make it any easier. âI know. Iâm sorry. Itâs just for a little short while, okay? The doctors want to run some tests on you.â
âWho are you married to?â she asks.
âTo Satoru,â you tell her, âour neighbor.â
She lets out a small gasp. âThe sweet boy who fixed our A/C?â
You roll your eyes. not sure why your mother has hyper fixated on that memory with Gojo when most days sheâll look at you like youâre a stranger. âYes mom.â
âOh, I like him,â she tells you with an affectionate nod. She hesitates slightly, wearisome of some other thought that flashes through her mind. âHow long have you been married?â
You let out a small sigh. This is already a conversation you had with her a couple days ago, and it doesnât feel good to lie to her. It was hard enough to do once, but to have to constantly lie to her over and over again over all the smallest things just so that she stays calm and safe and happy seems to drain you of all your energy and happiness you had left in your bones.
Little white lies, thatâs what they are. Harmless ones. Thatâs what you tell yourself to absolve yourself of the guilt.
âIâll come back soon, okay? Iâll tell you more about him some other day,â you say to her, speaking gently in the way an adult would speak to a child. The way she used to speak to you. You could never exactly pinpoint when those roles became reversed.
You finish discussing some more insurance matters with the front-desk nurse as she puts together a small folder of documents for you. While she works, you glance at the little counter shelf that includes a plethora of pamphlets on how to deal with the complicated feelings that arise from putting a loved one in hospice care, and dealing with the emotions of having a relative with advanced stage dementia. They are pretty brochures, lovingly creased at the folds as if looked through multiple times by people who walk in and out of this facility, but seemingly only few take them home. You slip one of each into your folder when the nurse hands it to you, manage the best smile possible, and then turn on your heel to head out the hospice doors.
The sun is setting outside as you take the walk back to your car, which was purposefully parked a half mile away to afford you the luxury of a melancholic stroll. Somehow, you feel like youâve left a piece of yourself back at the hospice. A feeling you canât quite shake from your bones.
Your feet stop walking somewhere along the sidewalk on their own, the street lights above you flickering brighter into life as the sky is now a dusty gray with only streaks of purple. Thereâs a liquor store you spot across a small parking lot to your right, and youâre guided towards it, but not without a sickening feeling in your chest.
When you open the door, the bell at the top jingles, and you glance to the right where you see a lanky young man playing some sort of shooter game on his phone by the cash register. You grab a bottle of vodka, a bottle of white wine, some packs of skittles, one of the mini pizza boxes at the hot food station, and then dump it all onto the counter.
The young man scans all your items without even so much as sparing you a glance, but does take a look at your ID, then says, âTotalâs $68.65, cash or card?â
âCard.â
Just before you tap your card, something displayed behind the cashier counter catches your eye. Something familiar, something tempting, something you weigh in your head about twenty times within one millisecond all due to the cortisol coursing through your veins and you eventually say, âUh, and could I get one of those, too?â
The cashier looks behind himself to what youâre pointing at before turning around. âSure.â
The same jingle is heard on top of your head as you leave the store, now with a burning hot mini pizza box in your hand as well as a plastic bag that carries your candy and the two clinking bottles of alcohol.
âOh!! omg, y/n,â you hear a feminine voice call out and youâre instantly wincing. The last thing you wanted was to be bothered right now. You just wanted to go home and get drunk and then pass out on the floor of your living room. But alas, the world is small.
You turn around to see Hana come running across the sidewalk lot towards you, and when sheâs about a few feet away, she glances down at your hands and all the things you were carrying. You quickly shove your last-minute purchase into your jacket pocket with a shameful conscience, and try to hide the plastic bag of liquor behind your calves. There was no hiding the pizza box, but at least that was the least incriminating.
âOh, Hana, wow! What a coincidence seeing you here,â you say to her, pressing your lips into a small smile.
âYeah, I um,â she points over her shoulder towards the hospice thatâs standing tall in the darkness of night, cells with windows illuminated with light. If you didnât know any better, you would think it was a prison. âRemember I told you my friendâs mom is sick and sheâs at this hospice?â
âYeah,â you say.
âI was just visiting her mom with her,â she tells you.
âAw,â you comment, âI see, I see.â
You adore Hana, you really do. She was there for you when the whole Yuna and Choso thing went down, picking your shifts up for a good week when you couldnât stomach going into work when your ex-best friendâs stupid face was gloating in the halls over how she stole your boyfriend. Hana was there for you when you were a new hire and all the doctors were being bitchy about a ânewbie in the EDâ, but she stood up for you, even cussed the fuck out of one of attendings for the whole hall to hear when you were being disrespected by one of them. Sheâs someone you can beam about how hot the EMT and Firefighter men that stroll into the ED are, too. A priceless companion.
And even though you two have hung out after hours sometimes, it was still always a little awkward to see a coworker outside of work.
âWhat are you doing here?â she asks.
âI actually, um, was going to tell you at our shift tomorrow, but I just admitted my mom to the hospice too,â you say, âandâŚthanks a lot for telling me about it. I really appreciate it. It seems like a wonderful facility.â
Her eyes briefly widen with surprise before they soften once again. âOh, thatâs wonderful, love. I hope all goes well. And your little insurance scam worked! Good for you!â
âShhh,â you hiss at her, looking around yourself with paranoia, âthe feds are everywhere.â
She laughs, sweet in the air, before the sound settles and she looks at you with something reminiscent of well-intentioned concern. Her eyes flit to the plastic bag you were still holding behind your legs. âHeyâŚum, ifâŚif you ever want some company when you come to visit your mom, just let me know. I hope you know you donât have to do everything alone.â
You blink at her, sucking in a short breath to respond, but it only leaves you as a slight puff of air. Thereâs a silent gratitude that you give her, because itâs hard for you to express any feelings with words, but youâve found that the people in your life who know you best can always read you without them.Â
âThank you, Hana,â you manage to say with a slight croak to your voice because you were fighting back tears.
She smiles at you. âTake care, okay? And see ya tomorroooowwwwww,â she coos at you, coming up to you to give you a small hug, a squeeze of your upper arm, and then she heads back towards the direction of the hospice.
You watch her walk away until you canât see her anymore. And then you head towards your car.
When you arrive at your neighborhood, you park in front of Gojoâs house. You have a feeling that you wonât be able to bear the vast emptiness of your home now that your mother is elsewhere, and so you drag your feet up the stone stairs of his house with a heavy heart instead.
The spare key that he gave you weakly pushes into the keyhole with about as much force as your fingers can manage, and you realize they almost feel atrophied.Â
The house is dark when you step inside, spare for the ambient street lights shining through cracked open blinds on the windows, and the curtains rustle gently from the draft of the AC, a chill that reaches you too by the time you make it to the staircase.
It doesnât seem like Gojoâs home. A glance at the clock tells you itâs close to 8pm. You briefly consider texting him to ask where heâs at, why heâs out so late, when heâll be home, and whatâs for dinner, but you canât even bring yourself to pull your phone out of your coat pocket.
Weak legs manage to take you upstairs and youâre about to pass through to your room when the slightly open door to the master bedroom taunts you, like a peephole into some other wordly dimension. Like the wardrobe in the chronicles of Narnia. A portal into your fake husbandâs life.
With a palm pushing on the door, you slowly crack it open, and you know the anxious voices in your head are getting worse by the day when the creaking of the door hinges sounds like a lullaby to you.Â
Was this an invasion of privacy? And did you really care if it was?
The room is big, with a king sized bed off to the left, sheets neatly made and duvet primly tucked under, like the way hotel beds are set up. You feel a slight flush of embarrassment when you remember you havenât been making your bed in the mornings for the past couple days youâve been living here so far, and you wonder if Gojo would judge you for something like that. If heâd think you were a messy or undisciplined person. If he would think less of you.
Truthfully, in a lot of ways, you still felt like a child. You barely weathered a lot of your formative adolescent years when dealing with your parentsâ divorce, and youâve had to put so much of your life on pause to take care of your mom ever since she got diagnosed. So here you were, in the body of a 29-year-old woman, yet still feeling so painfully juvenile. One that forgets to make her bed in the mornings, and on most nights canât seem to stomach anything other than cereal for dinner. It was like you were still at a party that everyone else had left, except all it ever was is hell. Your life was such a stark contrast to the lives of other adults youâve come across. The ones that wake up at six to go on runs, the ones that have paid off mortgages with five figures in their retirement accounts, oh god, the ones that meal prep, and the ones that, all things considered, have their lives together. The ones that donât spend at least an hour of every day, in fetal position on their bed, sobbing until tears soak through the sheets of the pillow down to the feathers like bone, because youâre so overwhelmed with stress and preparing yourself for the grief of losing your mother which you know that, no matter how hard you try to save her from, will inevitably one day come.Â
You used to cook dinner every night, make your bed every morning, and go to pilates on the weekends. Back when you were a little younger and healed and excited to live life. But now, you barely get by. Your priorities are with your mother. You canât remember the last time you did anything nice for yourself, including something as simple as the luxury of getting to come home to a clean house because you hardly ever had time to clean it, not with all the doctorâs appointments you were driving your mother to, not with all the extra shifts you were picking up at the hospital to pay off your debt, not with all the times you felt too depressed to even get out of bed.Â
But your mother is in hospice now, so youâve made time, right? Youâve made the decision that everyone in your life has been begging you to finally do. So why do you still feel so empty inside?
By a quick survey of the room, you notice Gojo doesnât really have many framed photos hung up on the walls or perched up on surfaces. None, actually. Only a contemporary painting above his bed frame and then a faded vintage horror movie poster plastered up near his desk. Not terribly odd, since in your experience most men donât really do the whole âcluttering the house with millions of photos of their familyâ thing until they at least have a couple of kids and some purebred dog. The thought of Gojo someday setting up a little portrait photo at his desk with his wifeâsâhis eventual real forever wifeâs, pretty face in it, posing with their two beautiful kids, makes an oddly melancholic feeling waft through you. You wonder if he would keep a two-by-two in his wallet, too.
Your feet move one in front of the other as your finger traces the surface wood of a dresser cabinet, something that looks a little vintage and oaky, in stark contrast to the modern minimalist vibe Gojo has set up in the rest of the room. A family heirloom, maybe? Thereâs no dust that coats your finger, which surprises you. If you were to run your finger across your dresser at home youâd have collected enough dust to snort down your windpipes like a recreational drug. But Gojoâs a real estate agent, making a living off of dressing houses up in perfect cosplay so that monetarily stable middle class families feel inclined to buy them. So youâre not exactly surprised heâs invested in keeping his own house in pristine condition too.Â
There is a little bit of chaos, though. Like the shirt he has haphazardly hung over his chair at his office space over to the right. Thereâs a coffee mug sitting there too, porcelain and reflecting the moon light off, but upon peering inside you see that itâs half empty with stale coffee. Heâs got pens sprawled across the desk, in a fashion that suggests he accidentally knocked them over in a rush, and slowly, like some grounding exercise, you place them one by one back into the paper mache pencil holder. It briefly occurs to you that he has a lot of paper mache containers of sorts around the house. You lift up the pencil cup, turning it in your hand until your eyes catch something written on it with glittery pink gel pen.
i luv u unkle toru! -yur BEST FREND 4EVUR juno!!! :D
A small smile makes it onto your face. The handwriting was messy, more like scratches than smooth lines, and nothing less than what you would expect of a child. You remember making paper mache and clay trinkets at preschool for your mom and dad when you were younger. And youâre sure if you were brave enough to open the box of memorabilia that sits in your attic some day, youâd see your own scratchy scribbled handwriting on them. An innocence that is long gone and buried, never again to be delicately placed on desks or counters for all the living.
The draft from the AC reaches you once again, brushing over your skin and causing a chill to shiver down your spine. It kicks at the curtains as well, causing them to ruffle up towards you, baring the dark outside world into the streets. And you notice in that momentary glance that thereâs a roof just outside the window that overlooks the backyard. A roof? Spotted by a depressed woman going through a quarter life crisis? There was nothing more tempting than that.Â
The window was easy to open, which only caused unease over the revelation of how easy it would be for someone to rob this house. You make a mental note to tell Gojo to get a ring camera or security system of some sort since he doesnât seem to have one, but you can already picture him telling you something about how statistically low the crime rates are in this neighborhood compared to all the other neighborhoods, and then youâd tell him that itâs just for your peace of mind. But whether heâd compromise or not after that, youâre really not sure.
You take a seat on the roof, a little scared as you sit because of the slight slope, but itâs comfortable once youâre settled. You sit criss-cross-apple-sauce, staring out into the neighborhood of perfectly lined up suburban houses. Youâve got a better view into some neighbors' backyards, noticing that a couple of them had pools while some of them have big gardens. There's a cat resting up on a fence in the distance. A car drives by with headlights illuminating everything in its proximity briefly before zooming off. You glance up at the sky, and notice the full moon, but itâs too cloudy to see any stars. Or perhaps it was just the light pollution from the lamps making it difficult to see.
On instinct, your hand reaches inside your coat pocket for your phone, but your knuckles hit something else instead. A moment of brief confusion flickers through your head, but then you immediately recall the last-minute purchase you made at the gas station.
Your hand pulls out the object, and then you stare down at it. Squinting your eyes a little, because itâs a sight that feels familiar but also one you havenât seen in so long: a pack of twenty Marlboro red cigarettes.Â
Youâve tried a lot of things to manage your stress over the years. Excessively working out, eating a lot of sugar, going on six hour hikes to touch grass, flirting with random men at bars, fucking Choso until he was rendered speechless, multiple types of antidepressants, you almost tried smoking weed once with your roommate in college but you wimped out last second. But the habit that had gotten you through the years of 21 to 24 is held loosely in your hand right now. Itâs been five years since you quit, but resolve was often a fickle thing. As the saying goes, once an addict, always an addict.Â
Thereâs a brief moment of hesitation as you slowly peel the plastic off of the back, but then it all comes back to you like a reflex youâll never forget up to where you slide a cigar up out and then pinch it between your two fingers. Forgetting to buy a lighter with the cigarettes is definitely something you would do, but because you remembered it was something that you would do, you remembered not to do it. The flick of the flame coming to life is ASMR you didnât know you were painfully nostalgic for, and you balance the cigarette between your lips in that sort of movie-star way people used to obsess over back in the day. But just as you bring the lighter up to the end of the cigarette, and just before you can light itâ
A hand shoots out in your periphery, grabbing your wrist and entirely stalling the movement.
You gasp, lips parting enough for the cigarette to fall from them and into your lap. The hand wrapped around your wrist is large and masculine, and you briefly consider screaming, but when you snap your neck to look at the perpetrator, you see Gojo crouched down next to you on this roof. You notice heâs wearing a black suit, a tie that was loosely secure hanging from his neck into the space between his spread thighs as heâs crouched, and whatever gel he had in his hair from earlier only barely remains as strands fall over his forehead haphazardly. He looks like heâs on the other end of a long work day.Â
You blink at him, expression plastered with surprise, but his is only earnest. With breathtaking blue eyes that you realize he could easily use to surrender a person just by looking at them, like the way heâs looking at you right now. His lips are pressed together into a firm line, as if to suppress some emotion, but the slight crease to his brow makes you feel like youâre in trouble somehow. Like he was silently scolding you for something.
âIââ you stutter.
He lets go of your wrist and discreetly pulls the lighter out of your hand. And then his hand reaches for the pack of cigarettes you were balancing on your knee, but on some reflex that you donât even think about, you try to snatch them away from him, and now youâre both tugging at the same pack of cigarettes.
ây/n,â he says, âlet go.â
âNo,â you say stubbornly.
He sighs and tugs a little harder. âGive them to me.â
âButââ you stammer, voice becoming softer to see if thatâd work on him, âIâmâŚâ Your grip on them tightens. âIâm stressed.â
He raises an eyebrow at you, then finally loses his patience and snatches them right out of your hand. He stands up from his crouched down position to toss the pack off to the side onto the roof somewhere. Youâre surprised when he lets out a sigh and sits down next to you on the roof, as if he felt the obligation to. His legs stretch out in front of him, but still bent slightly at the knees, and he leans backwards with his body weight braced on his palms laid flat on wood paneling behind him. âThere are better ways to relieve stress,â he tells you candidly.Â
âLike what?â you ask, and just when he opens his mouth to speak, you clarify, âand donât say sex.â
He shuts his mouth and his eyes flit up to the sky for a brief second. âDamn. I didnât have a back-up answer.âÂ
You roll your eyes, releasing a deep breath, then draw your knees to your chest before resting your chin on top of them.Â
âI didnât know you smoke,â he says after a century-long minute.Â
You wince a little, because you were half hoping he was going to just drop the subject all together.Â
You bite your lip nervously and hug your knees to your chest tighter as if to hide yourself from him. âI donât. Well, I havenât. Um, not for a while.â
âHuh. I see,â he says.
Another silence passes, and as he shuffles next to you, the fabric of his suit brushes against the fabric of your coat, and youâve become entirely too aware of the feeling.
âSo,â he says, breaking the awkward silence, âyour momâs in hospice now?â
You nod, enthusiastic enough to where you wonât look like youâre entirely depressed about it.
âThatâs good,â he says, âno issues with the insurance?â
You shake your head. âThey need you to sign some papers by the end of the week though,â you tell him. âWeâll have to go in person.â
He nods slowly to affirm heâll make time for it. âI really hope things get better for your mom,â he says, voice soft as he stares off into neighbors homes like you had been doing ten minutes ago. You see the cat that was resting on the fence get up, do a big stretch, and start walking along the length of the fence. Your eyes briefly glance at Gojo, and you notice his gaze is tracing the catâs path.Â
âMyââ you start, hesitant all of a sudden by the vulnerability you already feel swelling within you, most definitely due to sitting with someone on a rooftop late at night, but you decide that youâll be nice to him for once, ââŚmy mom seems to remember you a lot. More than she remembers me.â You let out a small humoring laugh, as if that fact doesnât completely destroy you. âShe was blabbering to me again for the seventh time about how you apparently fixed our AC.â You try to bite your tongue, but canât help it when you say, âalthough Iâm pretty sure you just pressed a bunch of buttons until it started working again.â
âYup. Thatâs exactly what I did.â
You roll your eyes and sigh.
Another awkward silence.
âCan I ask you a question?â you say.
âSure.â His voice sounds deeper, like heâs sleepy.Â
âWhy did you agree to marry me? Thatâs not something people just do out of nowhere.â
He glances over at you, and you flicker your eyes to him. âWhy? Having regrets?â he teases, with a slight nudge of his elbow to your side.Â
âJust answer me.â
He lifts his palms up from behind him and leans forward, placing his hands on his knees instead. âI donât know. If something I could do would help someone out that much, I wasnât going to say no.â
You hum quietly, still confused by his intentions. But youâre too jaded to question them.
âIt costs nothing to be nice,â he adds.Â
You run soothing circles over your thigh through the fabric of your jeans. For some reason, your mind wanders to Choso. Thinking of all the years you wasted staying with him even though you knew his affections were long gone, just because you didnât want to break his heart. Only to realize that you never had that privilege in the first place.Â
âI think,â you say, your voice barely above a whisper as you draw your knees closer to your chest, âthat sometimes it does.â
A gust of autumn wind breezes by, ruffling the trees that the two of you are at eye-level with at the moment. You're pretty sure youâve completely lost Gojoâs interest at this point, where heâs finally too tired to deal with your oddly cryptic attitudes and overall generally displeasing vibe, assuming this based solely on his prolonged silence beside you. Youâre ready for him to get up and abandon you here on this roof, left to ponder every single thing youâve done wrong in your life. It was any second now.
âSometimes,â he instead speaks up, and itâs so surprising to you that you jolt a little bit, âyou can do everything right, and people will still find a way to fuck you over. But I donât think thatâs any reason to stop being nice to others.â
You glance over at him, your eyes widening slightly, but he just continues to peer off straight into the night. His blinks are slow, lingering on being closed for a moment before he opens them again, and youâre mesmerized by the sight. The skin under his eyes is slightly dark from exhaustion, heavy with character that makes you aware that heâs just a person too. And for what feels like the tenth time this week, you realize that heâsââŚhandsome. And for what feels like the tenth time this week, your heart flutters in your chest.
He scoffs suddenly and dusts his hands off. âI sound like a fucking youth pastor.â He lets out an exhale before suddenly standing up onto his feet before you can think more on it. He looks off into the night again and lets out another exhale that sounds more like a sigh this time. âGod, itâs getting a lot colder these days. Might have to start running the heater.â
You blink up at him with no commentary to add.Â
He looks down at you. His face is relaxed, but you can tell those eyes are distracted. A shimmering blue ocean in its own world while he attempts to stay present in this one.Â
He holds his hand out to you, and you stare at it blankly like youâve got no clue what he intends for you to do with it. But you finally take the hint and curl your hand around his palm so that he can pull you up onto your feet too.
You stumble a little, falling forward from the sudden blood flow to your brain, but he holds you steady by the strong grip of his hands on your elbows. Heâs close to you, close enough to where you can smell the faint lingering scent of his cologne. Something different than that expensive one he wore to the courthouse, but itâs comforting somehow. A fragrance thatâs more him. And you feel nervous as you look up at him underneath pale moonlight.Â
He lets go of your elbows. You feel cold from the loss of his touch. But his right hand moves to gently hold your left hand in his palm, holding it curled as his thumb barely grazes the stone you wear on your ring finger; the one he gave you.
The way his thumb prods at the silver band is like heâs inspecting its quality, as if it has to pass some test to be worthy of sitting on your finger. Or maybe just any finger, if you were to quell the delusion. Youâre not sure if heâs satisfied with his inspection.
âWhere did you get itââ you blurt out.
His gaze flickers up to your face briefly before heâs back to examining the ring. âIt was my momâs.â
Your mouth gapes slightly in shock, heart dropping a little in your chest, and all of a sudden you feel guilty. Guilty that he put his motherâs ring on your finger for something that was fake, something that was essentially a business deal, something exchanged to you out of fraud when it was a precious family heirloom that should be exchanged with love. And maybe he didnât care about it much, some people donât care about the sentiments of objects. But your mind thinks of the oaky vintage dresser in his room, so out of place in the aesthetic of its surroundings, a decision you can only imagine him of all people, mr. âeverything in this house has to look like an IKEA catalogâ, would do if the dresser held some importance to him that was more than meets the eye. And so youâre compelled to think that maybe this ring did, too.Â
âWhy would you give me this?! You couldâve just gotten a cheap fake diamond ring from a pawn shop and called it a day,â you ask him, suddenly feeling burdened by it.
âWell I wasnât exactly given much time to think of other options.â
âButââ you start, only to realize you have no counter arguments for that.
He lets out a huh noise, like the sound someone makes when theyâre pleasantly surprised by something, as he looks down at your hand that he still held in his. âItâs kinda crazy that it fits you perfectly. I wasnât sure.â
Your mind wanders to when he slipped the ring onto your finger in the courtroom, followed by the kiss. Soft, sweet, the lingering warm sensation of his palm on your cheek as he cupped your face, the same way those heartthrob actors do in all those romance movies and kdramas that you watch on Friday nights while snuggled up in a blanket, wondering when anyone will ever kiss you like that. You remember the ghost sensation of his hand hovering over the small of your back, fingers lightly grazing the nape of your neck, his frame blocking out everything around you as he kissed you, just to pull away and for the two of you to then pretend like it never happened, as if it wasnât one of the sweetest kisses youâve ever known.
You slowly pull your hand out of his, the moment feeling too tender for your liking, and you clear your throat before flitting your eyes up to his.Â
âRule #1,â you remind him with a soft whisper, âno touching.â
You purse your lips, watching his round eyes blink once, then twice, before he shoves his hands in his suit pockets. He rocks back and forth on his heels for a few seconds, nodding slowly in submission, and then he turns on them to head back to the house. Youâre standing a little stunned from the abrupt ending to this trance of a moment on the roof, and youâre also a little surprised with how your chest is heaving a little bit with fast breaths, but you eventually snap out of it to follow him inside too.Â
You two make it back inside the house, with little words exchanged. You pretend to not notice the way Gojo tilts his head at his desk, like heâs confused about why it looks tidier than when he left it. Youâre prepared to feign innocence or ignorance, but he doesnât press you about it.Â
âYâknow,â he says from behind you, his chest briefly brushing against the back of your head as he pushes the bedroom door in front of you open so that you can head out into the loft, âthose oversized 1800s-esque nightgowns youâve been wearing around the house kinda make you look like a less-hot version of Ebenezer Scrooge.â
âGo fuck yourself.â
â˘ââââ˘â˘âŚâ˝âŚâ˘â˘ââââ˘
âSign right here for me, sir.â
You watch as the nurse slides the papers across the high-raised counter of the hospice nursing desk towards Gojo, his eyebrows narrowing as his eyes skim the words on the paper and land at the highlighted lines where heâs been intended to sign. You feel nervous for some reason, as if heâd suddenly find something disagreeable and refuse to sign, then take you to the courthouse first thing to finalize a divorce and send you off to prison while claiming he was blackmailed into the whole marriage in the first place.
Instead, he pulls a pen from the chest pocket of his suit jacket, clicking the end of it and scribbling his signature onto the paper with some jet black ink that looks like it takes a second to dry. How pretentious of him. The pink pom-pom pen was right there.
The nurse behind the counter continues to chat with him about something, blah blah dependents, blah blah tax claims, blah blah youâll receive an itemized bill in the mail. Youâre trying your best to eavesdrop in on the conversation, but most of your senses are being occupied by examining all your surroundings. When you dropped your mother off at the hospice, your feelings were at the forefront of conscience, but now that youâve had a couple days to come down from that overwhelming emotional high, youâre here to scope out the quality of this place youâve just dumped your mom at.
The facility is clean and sleek, with a color theme of red and an ocean blue across the signs, the furniture, even with the paperwork they hand out. All the workers had color-coded scrubs based on their occupation or specialty, and none of them had stains on the fabric. You take a glance down at the modest leather pumps you were wearing past the creases of the long skirt, and notice that the floor was shimmering off their reflection in a perfect polish. It wasnât bad, this place.
âThanks, you too,â you hear Gojo say to the nurse behind the counter. He has a professional smile on his face, but still kind and genuine, which makes the woman at the computer something bashful and unable to make eye contact. He folds something that looks like a receipt into his chest pocket before tucking his pen back in there too and then turns to face you. You make a mental note to pay him back for whatever he just paid for, at least once you move some money around.Â
Your eyebrows lift, feeling a little dazed as you blink at him blankly.
âAlright,â he says, shoving his hands in his pockets, the sound of his shoes on the polished hospital floors satisfactorily tapping in your ears as he took a couple steps towards you, âwhereâs your momâs room?â
âHuh?â
âWhatâs her room number?â he asks you.
âY-You wanna go see her??â
âOf course I want to,â he says, âsheâs my mother-in-law.â
You roll your eyes and pet the fabric of your skirt to smooth the wrinkles out. âYouâre getting a little too invested in this role of fake husband.â
âI get to annoy you all day and ride the adrenaline rush of committing a federal crime,â he says, âof fucking course Iâd get invested.â
You sigh, tossing some of your hair to behind your shoulder before glancing up at the signs, squinting slightly to locate the ward where your motherâs room is, before you hear an extremely high-pitched and somewhat catty feminine voice call out from behind you. You glance at Gojoâs face as he peers off to whoeverâs behind you, and you see him visibly stiffen a little.
âIs that Dayton countyâs sexiest realtooorrr???â the voice purrs, and you turn on your heel to see a blonde bombshell of a woman clacking her kitten heels down the glistening floors of the hospice, with another brunette bombshell just a few paces behind her. Bombshell #2 sighs something like âit issssâ before they walk right up to your fake husband and take turns at giving him a playful squeeze of his bicep. You have to physically stop your jaw from dropping at the sight.Â
âWow! Ladies, soâ...so great to see you two,â he says out of polite obligation, and you immediately clock the fact that he doesnât address them by name.
Bombshell #1 turns to look at you, all of her hair moving as one solid entity with the motion from all the hair spray thatâs probably holding it up, and she points at you with a long slender finger that narrows into a french-tip. âOh whoâs this?? Another one of your clients??â
âOh, no, sheâs myââ
âIâm his wife,â you interrupt him, irritated for some reason.Â
Both the women chirp something out like oh! before their faces twist with confusion.Â
âI didnât know you were married,â Bombshell #2 says in a thick New Jersey accent.
Gojo lifts his left hand up, the silver band on his hand glimmering under fluorescent hospice lighting. âVery happily,â he says, as if someone was holding a gun to his head.
Bombshell #1 crosses her arms, and you try not to stare at how nice her boobs look in the low scoop-neck jaguar print top she was wearing. You were no better than a man. And now youâre pissed off at the idea of Gojo glancing down too, but a flick of your gaze up to his face tells you heâs safe. For now.Â
âYou werenât married when I asked you if you were a month ago,â Bombshell #1 sneers at him. Itâs true, the math wouldnât make sense, but in his defense, this marriage was a fraud.
âOr when you took me out for dinner last week after I bought my house,â Bombshell #2 snarls with an undertone of hurt.Â
Gojo clears his throat beside you before pointing at Bombshell #2. âHow is that, by the way?â he asks in an attempt to change the subject, âthe half acre down on Maple Ave, right? You, uh, enjoying the pool?â
The woman let out an offended scoff andâwere her eyes sheening with tears?? She puts her hands on her hips. âNo. Mine is the three bedroom house with the cedar gazebo on 14th street.â
Her friend next to her rolls her eyes and smacks her gum between her cheek. âIâm the one that bought the half acre down on Maple Ave, jerk. Ugh!â She grabs her friendâs arm with a high-pitched hmph noise leaving her throat, and you can hear the other one sniffling subtly as she wobbles on her heels with her friendâs pull of her arm.Â
Right before leaving the two of you alone, Bombshell #1 turns to you and says, âI hope you find someone who treats you better,â and then they storm off together down the hallway, their perfectly blow-dried hair bouncing in sync with each stomp.
You blink at the sight, a little flabbergasted from the interaction, and then flit your faze up to Gojo. You see him awkwardly scratching at the back of his head with a grimace on his stupidly handsome face.Â
âThatâs what you get for being a manwhore,â you tell him.
âIâm not a manwhorââ
âYou went on a date with another woman while you were maaaaarrrieeeddd?!â you coo as you let out a fake gasp and slap your cheeks with your hands, âdespicable, really.â
He lets out some disgruntled noise, the source coming from deep within his throat. âNo. We werenât fake-married yet,â he vindicates himself, âand it wasnât a date. I just bought her dinner as a congrats for buying a house. Not a big deal. I do it for all my clients.â
âSatoru. You do realize youâre leading these women on, right? I mean, Iâve seen the way you talk to them. Even if you think youâre just being friendly, please know that your definition of friendly is most peopleâs definition of flirting.â
âThatâs ridiculous.â
âItâs true.â
He raises an eyebrow as he glances down at you. âAlright, how come this flirting in disguise of friendliness hasnât worked on you then?â
You scoff in disbelief before crossing your arms. Maybe you did deserve a better fake husband. âYouâre never friendly with me. Youâre always rude to me.â
âWhat? Iâm not always rude to you.â
âWell, youâre certainly much more rude to me than you are to other women,â you say, tapping the tip of your shoe with irritation.
âCan we not do this right now? Weâre in the middle of a hospice.âÂ
âGod, youâre such a cop-out,â you mumble as you forcefully push past him towards the hallway thatâll lead you to your mother. You can hear that Gojoâs on your tail, following you down one of the more dimly lit hallways, and you can tell he needs to stall the strides of his Daddy Longlegs to not overtake your pace.
âWhat the fuck is a cop-out?â he asks you from behind.
âLook it up on urban dictionary, Grandpa. Unless you donât know what the Internet is, either,â you spat.Â
You waltz right up to your motherâs room just in time to see a nurse making her way out with a clipboard in her hands. She glances over to you when she sees you approaching in her periphery.
âHi! How can I help you?â she asks.
âIs it alright if we visit my mother?â you ask her.
âOh! Sure, let me just clean her bed pan really quick.â
Your brow furrows. âB-Bedpan?? Why is she using a bedpan??â
The nurse stops in her movements. âWell, yesterday and today, thatâs just what she has decided to use.â
You immediately become hostile. âThatâs not right. She never needed to use one at home. Why is she suddenly using one here? Is that not a clear sign of deterioration? The restrooms must not be kept well enough here if she doesnât want to use them.â
The nurse becomes something meek, her eyes widening as her mouth gapes slightly. âMaâam,â she squeaks out, âwe see this commonly with patients as they begin to adjust to hospice life. Weâll urge her to use the restroom, but as of right now, we need to prioritize what she finds most comfortable.â
Your expression softens, your shoulders relaxing from their tense position, and you duck your head a little with guilt. âRightâŚIâm sorry.â
The nurse presses her lips together with a well-meaning smile before shuffling into the room and closing the door behind her. You sigh and lean your back against the wall next to the number plate, cheeks flushing slightly from the confrontation. You have no idea how loud your voice was or who heard you. But you try to convince yourself that youâre just stressed and trying to look out for your mother, although the guilt still sits.
You glance up to see Gojo staring at you with slightly wide eyes, his hands shoved into his pockets, and he tilts his head to study your expression.
âWhat?â you snap at him.
âAre you doing okay?â
âJust fine, thanks.â
âAre you sure?â
âSatoru,â you cut his questioning off by raising a palm into the air, âjustââŚjust stop.â
His brow furrows together slightly, but before he can show any further concern, the nurse exits the room and holds the door open for the two of you.Â
âAll set!â she chirps, and Gojo moves to hold the door open in her stead, and then the nurse bolts down to disappear somewhere down the hallway.
You hear Gojo let out a small huff of a scoff as he stares down in the direction the nurse ran off in. âGlad to know Iâm not the only one thatâs scared of you.â
You roll your eyes and walk into the room through the open door.
Your mother lays in her bed, looking out the window with her hands resting on top of layers of white linen sheets, her skin looking slightly paler than usual. You approach her bedside slowly and she finally turns her head to look at you.
âHi mom,â you gently greet her, sitting down on the stool beside her bed, âhow are you doing?â
Her eyes dart across the features of your face, and you briefly glance towards the wall to the right where you see Gojo standing from a slight distance.
âOh, hi dear,â she says with a smile, and relief washes over you.
You match her smile with your own. âMom, I brought someone here to see you.â You glance over at Gojo, who starts to close distance now as he approaches the foot of the bed, âthis is Satoru, my husband.â
Your motherâs eyes widen, âOh! I know him,â she scoldingly swats a hand at you, like youâve embarrassed her somehow by assuming that she doesnât know who he is, âheâs my neighbor!â
You sigh, âyes mom, the one that fixed the A/C?â You attempt to finish her sentence for her.
She looks confused for a moment, but slightly nods as if to avoid any further confusion for herself. âButââŚbut, whyâŚâ she trails off and then looks at you, âIâm sorry, are you my nurse?â
Your shoulders drop slightly. âNo, mom, itâs me. Your daughter. Do you remember?â
Her face scrunches before it entirely relaxes to keep some image of composure despite the haze you know she feels in her head. âOhâŚyes, yesâŚmy little girl. I remember you, of course!â
Your eyes become layered with a slight sheen of tears, âIâm glad.â
âWhereâs your father?â she asks, âhe said heâd bring me someâŚoh dear, whatââŚhe said heâd bring me tea. Iâve been waiting.â
âMom, dad isââ you pause for a moment to think on your feet. You could either tell the truth, or a little white lie. You never know what to do. And either one comes with either guilt or sorrow. âWell, heâll be here soon, I just wanted to come see you.â
âOh okayâŚâ she trails off, her eyes squinting at you once more with that same look of confusion on it, but then they drift towards Gojo. âOh youâre a very handsome young man! You look just like my neighbor.â
Your eyes flicker up to Gojo, and he walks up to your side by your momâs bed. âYes, Mrs. l/n, I am your neighbor.â
âWith the lemon tree!â
âThe avocado tree,â you correct her with a small sigh. âAnd heâs my husband mom. And also our neighbor.â
âOh I see I seeâŚâ she says, looking up at him, and in a moment that shocks you, she holds her hand up for him to take.
Thereâs a slight moment of surprise on his face too, but he accepts her frail hand in his, and you glance over to your mom to see her look at him with some look of peace on her face.
âOh, sit down here, wonât you?â she tells him, and you both blink at her in a moment of hesitation.
He pulls a stool up to the side of the bed right next to you and takes a seat down onto it. Your mother holds his hand with both of hers now, soothing her palm over the back of it before she taps on it lightly.
âOh, my little girl is very sweet. She would bring me flowers from the garden when she was,â she glances at you, confused once more, âwell I remember her when she was so little but she looksâŚa little older now. Ah, but she would bring me such pretty flowers.â
Your heart aches in your chest. You never knew what version of you your mother would remember. Some days, youâre still supposed to be an angsty teenager that shuts doors in her face, some days you were just as you are right now, and other days, you were just her little girl. And it confused her, the image of not seeing you in the way that she remembers. In the only way she knew how.
âYouâll take good care of my sweet girl, wonât you?â she asks him.
And it knocks the wind out of you.
It drops your heart to the center of the earth.
The thought that, after so many moments where she doesnât remember you, she still knows that youâre someone she wants to keep safe.
Your mouth gapes slightly, tears welling in your eyes and you try your best to blink them away, but you see Gojoâs hand slip out from being held by your motherâs hands, to instead use both of his to hold hers. Your eyes snap to his face, and you see that same earnest expression youâve been growing used to seeing these days.Â
âYes,â he responds, eye contact level with hers, âI will.â
A small puff of air leaves your lips, a single tear streaming down your cheek and you quickly swipe your trembling fingers to remove any evidence of it before you huff out a shaky, âexcuse me.â And then youâre standing up off the stool, and in a few hurried steps across the room as more tears continue to stream down your face, you make it to the door to push out into the suffocating air of the hallway.
Itâs hard to breathe, huffs and puffs barely leaving your lips as you struggle to pull air into your lungs while you storm down the hallway at a fast pace, your heels clicking underneath you in a way that only sets you off further. Suddenly, all the sounds around you make you sick to your stomach, a wave of nausea washing over you, and your nose burns with the intensity of the tears that continue to stream down your face. A few hospice staff look at you with concerned expressions, and you eventually reach a heavy-duty door that leads you out into a secluded staircase hallway where the dim lighting serves to relax at least some of your senses, but you still feel like youâre about to pass out.
Even in the haze of your emotions, thereâs this glimmer of a memory that comes to mind. One from when you were younger and you were pushed on the playground at school. You cried and cried and cried in your motherâs arms, but even then, you didnât want her to baby you. You would say to her, Iâm a big girl now! in that same way a child knows nothing of what it truly means to brave the world.Â
That little girl had no idea that one day, there would be moments where she wouldnât be remembered as her motherâs little girl anymore.Â
No matter how old you grow, you will always be my little girl, your motherâs voice echoes to you, the feeling of her squeezing you in her arms as she holds your sobbing little form in hers casting a ghost sensation across your skin.
In a motherâs eyes, youâll always be her baby.
And thatâs why it hurts.
Because itâs all fake.
Itâs phony.
Itâs not real.
This arrangement you have with Gojo.
And if your mother were to die tomorrow, there would be no one to take care of her little girl anymore.
Not in the way she believes there will be.
Of all the white lies, this one pierces you straight through your heart in a way that leaves you gasping for air.
Amidst your whirlwind of thoughts, you hear the door push open harshly, and when you glance over, you see Gojo standing in this dimly lit hallway as he turns his head quickly to the left and sees you standing there.
âHey,â he says, catching his breath as he lightly jogs up to you, âhey, hey, hey,â he repeats with more concern now when he sees the state youâre in, and he seamlessly pulls you into a hug, your cheek pressing against his chest that feels warm even through the fabric of his suit jacket and shirt, and that familiar scent of him completely engulfs you.
You sob quietly, wiping your snot on his tie and your tears on the felt fabric beside it, your hands balled into tiny fists at your chest, squeezed between the two of you. You feel him tuck your head under his chin and his arms wrap around you tighter. You donât even realize it at first, but suddenly, it has become easier to breathe.
Then, you wail, and you cry, and you sob, because you donât have the words to even explain how you feel, about not just this, but with everything, a buildup of everything that has been suffocating you in your life that just comes crashing down on you all at once.
âI know,â he says, his palm resting on the back of your head as he holds your face to his chest, his voice soothing in your ears while you sob until thereâs nothing left to cry. âI know.â
You two stay like this for another minute or so as you come down from the cries, your remnant sniffling echoing in the hallway while you wipe more of your snot on his jacket. You make the first move to pull your face away from his chest, but he still keeps his arms wrapped around you when you look up at him.
With your gaze darting across his face, you take in the blue in his eyes. Eyes that are looking at you so softly itâs suddenly hard to breathe once more. And when those eyes flit to your lips, your mouth parts slightly as you two breathe in unison.
Itâs possible that you could have dreamed the moment you saw him lean down slightly towards you, his eyes still set on your lips, but it didnât matter because youâre pushing him away with strong fists before you can even register the thought in your head.
He lets go of you entirely, his eyes wide once more, and you glance down at your feet.Â
A tender moment, just like on the roof, broken just because you canât handle thatââŚthat way, that intense way that he looks at you. New rule, no looking at me longingly like you want to kiss me. I wonât allow it.
âI want to go home,â you whisper, still examining your shoes. And you suddenly feel embarrassed that he had to see you this way. Heâs supposed to be scared and intimidated by you, not holding you in his arms while you cry.Â
Heâs silent for a moment, but you can tell heâs searching for things to say. âYou donât want to say bye to your mom before we go?â
You swipe your palm against the wetness on your cheek. âNo. I just want to go home.â
ây/n,â he tried to convince you.
You finally look up at him. âPlease.â
He breathes in a few breaths as he studies the features of your face in a way that makes you feel so seen that itâs frightening. But he slowly nods, then says,
âOkay.â
.
.
.
.
.
[end of chapter 4]
a/n. hi friendsss i hope you enjoyed :'') yea like i said at the a/n in the beginning, this chapter is a slight off-tangent from last chapter, but ch5 will continue with a lot of the stuffs that were brought up in ch3. but yea i wanted to explore the whole process of emotions reader would go through putting her mom in hospice, since it kinda felt like a big thing, hence why it got its own chapter. aaa i hope to see you in the next one!! much love from me :''0
⸠take me to chapter five!
note: please do not ask me for updates or when i will next update (read rules)
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apt 302 | sylus q.
â summary: at first, your new neighbor was as mysterious as he was handsome. after taking some time to get to know himâor forcing your way into his quiet lifeâyou realize looks can be deceiving. â cw: gn reader, neighbors au, neighbors to friends to lovers, profanity, innuendoes, jealousy, misunderstandings, stalker ex, alcohol use, guns mentioned, self-indulgent, allusions to reincarnation, angst, pet names, sylus being an insufferable gentleman, slice of life â dividers by: @omi-resources â notes: this grew way longer than i expected, soooooo youâre gonna hate me for what comes next. anyways, thank you so much for reading! â now playing: my favorite person now - she was pretty ost â tagging: @alfredosaws, @sinsodom @chuppiechanchan @hao-ming-8 @antonneva @sunsets-and-crows @leighsartworks216 @grabby-smitten @nebulorra @minniestarmj @elysiums-light @saiaise @queenofstresss @beewilko @aetherscribit @libriomancer @world-of-hearts @awkwardnurse @huachengnism
Information Technology isnât as cushy of a field as you initially thought.
Sure, you have a desk job doing the most mundane of thingsâworking the help desk, troubleshooting devices, re-imaging computers. But your job isnât without its drawbacks.Â
Sometimes, the days are long and arduous. The constant customer interaction doesnât help matters; youâre a bit of an introvert, requiring five business days to recover from just a few hours of socializing.Â
So, forgive you for seeking a little respite in the form of your favorite set of pajamas and fuzzy slippers as you ease into your apartment.Â
The weight of the world sloughs off your shoulders when the door leading inside clicks shut behind you. You sigh gratefully, the sound of your keys clattering against your entryway table, intermingling with that of your AC humming to life.
You hang your bag and sweater on the coat rack. Trade your uncomfortable shoes for house slippers, the soreness in your heels slowly retreating. The last vestiges of sunlight creep through the slits of your blinds to bathe your home in its ethereal glow before ducking behind the horizon.Â
Your apartment is humble. Has a natural, minimalistic vibe with bits of decor displaying your personality sprinkled throughout. You already pay the price of a kidney and two lungs to stay here. No use investing in posh furniture when your job sometimes requires you to pick up and go at the drop of a hat.
Your stomach growls whilst you draw your curtains shut and turn on some ambient lighting via your phone. Youâll eat soon, you promise. For now, youâre on a mission.Â
Quietly, you move through your home in search of your laundry area, thoroughly prepared to slip into your PJs following a shower to jumpstart your weekend.Â
Too bad a pile of sopping wet clothes awaits you when you open your dryer door.Â
âGoddammit,â said under your breath as you mash the power button. It wonât turn on. Figures. You kick the offending appliance. Stupid thing must be out again.Â
You had set your clothes to dry before you left for work. You were looking forward to snuggling up with wine and your favorite show, donned in comfy clothes. Seems your dryer had other plans.
You shouldâve replaced it months ago when it first started acting up. You had hoped to salvage it a little longer; appliances donât come cheap these days. Besides, youâve had a darling neighbor to fix it each time. To extend its lifespan.Â
Speaking of whichâ
Chewing your lip, you pad over your cold, hardwood floor to snatch your phone from the coffee table. Fall onto your couch cushions with a devious smile twitching your lips. Itâs getting late, so you donât think to badger him into tinkering with your dryer tonight. However, perhaps heâll let you utilize his. At least until you can use your day off tomorrow to shop for a replacement.
You hover your thumb over his contact, his name flanked by crow emojis. Contemplate calling him, but what if heâs busy? This is usually about the time heâs leaving. Instead, you settle for opening your messaging app, already conjuring an excuse.
(You): đŚââŹđŚââŹđŚââŹđĽđĽđĽ (Sylus): lol (Sylus): good morning to you too. (You): đđđ dude itâs like 6 (Sylus): đ¤ˇââď¸ (Sylus): im just now getting up. long day at the office. (Sylus): whats up? (You): are you busy tonight?? (Sylus): not really. đ what did you have in mind ? (You): pause. not like that (Sylus): đ˘ (You): my dryerâs out again (Sylus): ah. want me to take a look? (You): nah you already do so much (You): is it cool if i use yours tho? đŹđŹđŹ (You): iâll bring you booze (Sylus): lol (Sylus): its fine sweetie. doors unlocked. ill be in the shower. help yourself. (You): đđđ
You take your time gathering your saturated clothes into a basket. On your way out, you snag a bottle of Merlot from your fridge.
No matter how often youâve been here, you donât think youâll ever get used to how much more⌠put together Sylusâ place is compared to yours.
It suits himâthe black and red furniture, the stylish accents littering his apartment. It smells delightful inside, a mixture of mahogany and amber enmeshed with remnants of food. Soulful jazz flows from a record player, fitting the sepia-toned glow of floor lamps and candles flickering on every other surface.
You toe the door shut behind you. Feel so small and out of place amid his decor. Youâve only recently started coming here, having spent much of your time together inside your apartment. Regardless, you navigate his space like itâs your second home, finding his washer and dryer set.
After starting your clothes in the dryer, you wander back to the living room, hands stuffed in the pockets of your cardigan. You take some time to admire the atmosphere. Fingers skim over the various vinyls organized on a built-in bookcase on the wall.
You snort with a half-smile. You know so little about your neighbor, yet you know just enough to be this comfortable with him.
Heâs a music buff; that much is for sure. Heâs clearly made of money if the luxurious furniture and his car are anything to go by. You donât press him about what he does for a living. Figure he values his privacy above all else, unlike you.
Youâre an open book. The primary yapper in your acquaintanceship, prattling on about your life and aspirations. And he just sits there, wordlessly nodding with a polite smile behind the rim of his glass. Where you would otherwise be wary of being in someoneâs home like this, you feel safe around him in a way that almost terrifies you.
âAdmiring the decor,â teases a voice from behind.Â
You jolt, spinning around like youâve been caught stealing. Youâre met with a smirk beneath scarlet eyes, twinkling with mischief. Strands of white cling to Sylusâ forehead, damp from the warm spray of his shower. He towels his hair dry, maneuvering around the living set towards you.
âHey, you,â you greet, trying to play it cool. Like your heart isnât hammering and heat isnât branching into your cheeks. You attempt to maintain eye contact. Itâs increasingly difficult to do so with his physique peeking through his t-shirt and sweats like that.
âHey, yourself.â Thereâs amusement in the deep gravel of his voice. A smile in his eyes as he studies you, draping his towel around his shoulders.
You swallow. Try to divert the subject, motioning to his record collection. âYou got some new tunes, I see.â
A chuckle is dredged from the bowels of his chest. You feel it pull in your stomach. âSure did. Got something you might like.âÂ
God help you as he reaches around you, the fine hairs littering your body standing on end, your mouth agape like a fish out of water.
Unconsciously, you step back, your spine softly thudding against the records display. Your heartbeatâs on a warpath, and you swallow against the dryness of your throat as the veiny, sinewy muscle in his forearm stains your periphery.
He gives you a bemused look before slowly peeling a record from the shelf behind you. Steps back to fish out the vinyl and settle it on the platter, replacing the record that was just playing.Â
You release a breath you were unaware of holding. Good job playing it cool, dumbass.
âYou alright?â Sylus quizzes with a raised brow. âYou seem a little on edge tonight, sweetie.â
You sigh, schooling an unconvincing smile onto your face. Try to ignore how the term of endearment glides off his tongue so effortlessly. You wonder how many other people he addresses like that.Â
âWork wasâŚrough today. Kicked my ass. Iâm tired.âÂ
A snarling sound invades the space between you, heard over the gentle croon of the new music. Your eyes fall to your stomach. You rub it placatingly. In all your haste to have some dry frigginâ clothes, you forgot to eat.Â
âAnd hungry, too,â you sheepishly add.
You glance up, and Sylusâ gaze tracks from your stomach to your face. He smirks knowingly, motioning with a nod toward his kitchen.Â
âFigured you didnât eat yet. I made carbonara if youâd like some.â
You smile wryly at his back as he pads away, carrying the scent of cedarwood and bergamot with him. Where would you be without such a doting neighbor?Â
You track him to the kitchen. Leaning against the threshold, you watch him procure a bottle of water from his fridge. Itâs so very small, dwarfed by his massive hand.
âI suddenly got called for a Teams meeting five minutes ago.âÂ
Your heart drops, the smile nearly falling from your face. And here you thought youâd have his company over dinner.
Suddenly, he taps your nose, drawing you out of your thoughts. You hadnât noticed when he got closer, swaddled in the static of your bodies being so close. âWhere did you run off to,â he rasps, searching your gaze for something.Â
The proximity of your bodies grows stifling, his warm breath glazing over your skin, dizzying. When he doesnât find what heâs looking for, he steps back, leaving you shell-shocked and utterly confused.Â
âIn the meantime, make yourself at home. You know where everything is,â he says, brushing past you with an air of finality.Â
You strain your ears for the noise of a distant door shutting before you make your move, rummaging through his cupboards and drawers for a plate and cutlery. After youâve scooped a decent helping of food onto your plate, you settle onto one of his velvet couches, cross-legged and shoveling food into your maw.Â
The fluttering of wings piques your interest. Youâve hardly any time to acknowledge him before a tuft of black, iridescent feathers shines from Sylusâ coffee table. The crow studies you curiously, ingesting you with his beady eyes before he preens himself.
âMe-fith-toe!â you greet around a mouthful of food.Â
Said crow ducks away, dodging errant crumbs and spit flying from your mouth, cawing in protest. You give him a rueful look.Â
Sylus has a soft spot for animals. You noted it the first time you entered his apartment, greeted by his boisterous companion. Funny; he doesnât look like the type to have such an eccentric pet.Â
But Sylus has found numerous ways of pleasantly surprising you, revealing parts of himself to you bit by agonizing bit.
âChicken?â you say after finally swallowing, offering a forkful of pasta to the bird. Mephisto scrutinizes the food before resigning himself to pecking at it. You smile fondly, your eyes crinkling with mirth. âMephisto, you cannibal.â
Lulled by the occasional flap of Mephistoâs wings and Sylusâ even tone murmuring things of business somewhere far off in his home, you fall into a familiar rhythm, quietly waiting for your clothes to dry.
You spend the remainder of your evening in your neighborâs company, drinking Merlot and judging each otherâs music tastes, long after your pajamas have dried and settled in the dryer.
âSo, have you boned yet?â
You choke on your waffle. Pound on your chest with the heel of your palm to dislodge it. You turn narrowed eyes on the source of the question. She merely shrugs from across the table, sipping her mimosa as if sheâs asked the most innocent thing.Â
âBitch.â
âWhat?â She appears nonplussed, setting her champagne flute down with a definitive clack. All serious when she returns your stare over crossed arms, and you know youâre in for it.Â
âYou talk about the guy so much I figured you wouldâve already, ya knowâŚâ The humping gesture she makes under the table is a bit much.Â
You blanch. âNo, dumbass, I havenât boned.â Your voice peters towards the end of your sentence. And you peer down at the napkin folded in your lap, heat prickling your face.Â
You wonât deny Sylus is good-looking. More like he could be someone modeling Prada on a catwalk. Canât pretend you havenât entertained the thought of being a little closer to him, too. More than just the late nights spent talking or him fixing something you broke.
You shake your head. Of all the times youâve been tucked away in either of your apartments, heâs never made a move on you. Sure, heâs said some pretty suss things. Flirted with you outside of your usual banter.Â
And maybe heâs done things to confuse the ever-loving hell out of youâcooked you breakfast when you were drunk off your ass and hungover the next morning. Lended you one of his expensive record players. Shacked up at your place a few times under the guise of âcoming to get Mephisto.â Butâ
Nah. Heâs not like that. Youâre just neighbors, right? Unofficial friends. Friends hang out all the time, right?
âHeâs not like that,â you say brattishly, stuffing more food into your face. At least not with you.Â
You donât miss your coworkerâs fox-like grin spreading in your periphery. She taps her cheek thoughtfully, watching you like a smug sibling about to snitch.Â
âSure, sure. If you say so. Heâs still a man, though. He might not have tried you yetââ
âHush,â you interject. The table shakes, cups rattling as you saw into your sausage with your fork and butter knife. Youâre done with this conversation.
Try as you might, however, you canât banish your thoughts revolving around him. Especially with your coworker watching you like that, silently egging you on.
Heâs not that kind of guy.Â
Heâs still a man, though.Â
Youâve repeated it like a mantra throughout your day, even as you mindlessly clacked away at your computer.Â
Work was a blur. An exhausting blur. Day gave way to the soothing exhale of night, and you were finally nestled in the quiet sanctuary of your apartment, on your couch, entertaining yourself with a game of Uno. It wasnât much fun playing alone, but you needed a distraction from the mess of your mind when your favorite show couldnât help.Â
Itâs a quarter past 9 when a shuffling sound in the breezeway outside your apartment catches your attention. Itâs accompanied by the echoed rasp of a recognizable voice, chuckling and murmuring indiscernible things.Â
You peel yourself from your couch as if on autopilot, nose pressed against the cold metal of your door as you peer through the peephole.
Itâs your nightly ritualâwaiting like an overzealous puppy to greet or send off your neighbor. You donât always get the luxury of saying goodnight in person. Sometimes, heâs gone for daysâweeksâat a time. You donât know the semantics of his job, but you make it your mission to help assuage whatever burdens he shoulders whenever you can.
Heâs there to help you, after all. Whether with a glass of wine, a warm meal, or his company.
So, forgive you for wanting to be a decent neighbor. And you would be tonight if not for the scene that passes through the fisheye of your peephole.
Itâs Sylus, clad in something flattering and expensive. Thereâs no mistaking his broad back and shoulders. The purl of his voice, the wispy dusting of alabaster hair on his collar. But the smaller frame with him, wellâ
Your heart plummets into your stomach.
Sheâs pretty from what you can glean from the limited view of your peephole. Donned in a dress thatâs form-fitting, voice high and light. Giggling silly things, fastened to Sylusâ side, held there by a virile arm draped around her middle. Sheâs drunk if the sloppy lean of her body is anything to go by. Sylus angles himself near her ear to whisper something, ushering in a new set of giggles.
You watch with your breath corked in your esophagus until they slide into his apartment together, their enmeshed voices fading from the stilled walls of the hallway.
Huh. Well, so much for him not being that type of guy.Â
You grapple with this new revelation, a furrow between your brows, hands falling listlessly at your sides. Numb as you drag yourself back to your couch, bouncing comically on the cushions.
You donât even know why youâre upset. He's a grown man with aâŚlife. You think.Â
Itâs the first time youâve witnessed him bringing someone to his place other than you, but itâs only natural for a guy like him to have options. Heâs far from hideous. Has the gift of gab, for Godâs sake. Heâs charming and the very definition of masculine.Â
It just stings a little, knowing that itâs notâŚyou that heâs touching like that.Â
So, you are definitely not flinging Uno cards onto the coffee table. Muttering things to yourself, gripping the stack in your hands so tightly, the plastic squeaks. Whatâs even got your undies in a bunch? The manâs not yours. Youâve never screwed around. Never really showed signs of wanting to, so it makes sense he would seek pleasures of the flesh elsewhere. His world doesnât solely revolve around you as much as you would like for it to.
Youâre halfway through a third round of angry card-flinging before a soft rap at your door nearly sends you some 30 feet into the air.
Stomping to your entrance, you peek through the peephole, and your heart works overtime when you catch sight of a wash of black and scarlet.
Internally, you scold yourself for how gullible you are. You throw the door open like you werenât just cursing him and his stupid existence moments ago. Try to act nonplussed, crossing your arms and leaning against the doorframe with a haughty look.Â
Of course, he would smell good. Look good, propped against the threshold like that, an amused cant to his lips, his physique devastating beneath the tight cling of his turtleneck.
âHey,â he greets, the sound breathy and easy like warmed honey.Â
âHey, yourself.â
He studies you for a bit. Eyes flicker over your face, and you tamp down the sparkling rush of warmth that wades over your skin at the attention. Even when youâre mad at him, your attraction still finds an annoying way of creeping through the seams.
âThis is going to sound incredibly strange, and feel free to tell me to piss off, butâŚdo you mind if I crash on your couch for the night?â
You stand up straight. Blink owlishly, mouth opening and closing. âHuh?â is all youâre able to muster.Â
He chuckles, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. You donât think youâve ever seen him this side of bashful. âYeah. Itâs aâŚbit of a long story, sweetie.â
âO-Okay,â you say, rigidly moving aside.
âThanks.â The charm is back on, turned up to max capacity. He brushes past you into your apartment, falling onto your couch with a huff. Quirks a brow at the mishap on your table, the carnage having spilled onto the floor.Â
âIâm almost afraid to ask, but were you playing Uno by yourself?â
You ignore him, plopping cross-legged on a floor cushion adjacent to him. Bypassing the tick in your brow, you look off to the side, fighting the embarrassment threatening to take hold of your visage. Shouldnât he be across the hall, entertaining his company?
âShut up and grab some cards,â you grumble to dispel the green-eyed thoughts stewing in your mind.
âBossy.â But he doesnât contest you, gathering the abused cards to shuffle them.Â
The remainder of your evening slides by with comfortable quips. With booze and a break to catch up on Love Is Blindâsomehow, heâd roped you into watching it.Â
You had no idea he was such a sap. Nearly forgotten how miffed you were mere hours ago.Â
He assuaged your worries with an explanation as the sun crept over the city.Â
The girl in his apartment was an old colleague whoâd gotten drunk and convinced herself that she was anything but.Â
Being a good samaritan, Sylus brought her to his place to sober up since the apartment complex wasnât too far from the main strip of bars. He didnât want any issues when she inevitably woke up. Messing with drunk people wasnât his thing.Â
So thatâs how he ended up here, inhabiting your couch like heâd always been a part of the decor.Â
He didnât owe you an explanation. You were just friends. Still, you couldnât help the quiet smile that twitched your lips after he cleared the air.
At some point in the morning, you both fell asleep. He looked all serene, too big for your sofa, but comfortable. You watched his lashes flutter from your place on the floor, his lips parting with soundless exhales. Even in sleep, he maintained that guarded aura, his arms folded across his chest.Â
You were bleary-eyed, gathering yourself from the hardwood to fetch a blanket to drape over him. He shifted, and he was so pretty with the sun bathing him in an angelic glow like that, his hair bright like a halo.Â
You were about to retreat to your bedroom when an abrupt knock tore you from your reverie. You glanced at your guest, ensuring he went undisturbed. He needed the rest. He was a night owl, and something about the sun vexed him, so he typically spent his days sleeping when you werenât impeding on his time.
You moved to the door, foregoing the peephole to open it. Big mistake.
On the other side stood Little Miss Pretty from the night prior, impatiently tapping her foot. Her hair was flattened on one side, and her dress was askew. By the looks of it, sleep hadnât been kind to her.
âHi, good morning,â she sighed, schooling her expression into fake politeness. She straightened herself as best she could, but the white patch of dried slob staining her chin did little to help her plight. You bit back a snicker.Â
âIâm looking for a friend. He lives across from you. His nameâs Skye.â
You quirked a brow at that. Skye? Oh, honeyâŚ
You wondered how many other people Sylus had fed a fake alias to. Or if Sylus was even his real name.
âHavenât seen him,â you chirped over crossed arms. Pulled the door slightly closed behind you, barring the woman from getting a peek at him, nuzzled up so cozily on your couch.
She sighed with slumped shoulders. A childish pout warped her lips. Her voice shifted into something more bratty. âYou sure? Tall guy, white hair, red eyes? You canât miss âem.â
âNot ringing a bell, hun. Sorry.â
It was taking all of you to keep up this ruse. You were fighting so hard to tamp down your amusement. This woman reminded you of an antagonist in a Korean drama, the way she was kicking and huffing about.Â
âWhere the hell did he go,â she groused. You watched her draw her phone from the pocket of her fur coat, your throat growing dry.Â
Your blood turned to ice when a familiar ringtone chimed in your apartment behind you. You stiffened comically; mouth hinged open with shock.
The womanâs expression morphed into one of suspicion. She tried to look inside your home, the upbeat ring of Sylusâ phone still flooding the uncomfortable silence.
She narrowed her eyes, trying to assert her way inside. âWhat the fuââ
âHey, girlie. Back the hell off before I call the police,â you warned with a hand pushed to her sternum. She insisted on being unruly, so you snatched your taser from the entryway table, the telltale blue sparks and sharp whip of static causing the woman to jolt back with alarm.
âYouâre both insane!â she shouted from the hallway, the stomp of her heels reverberating off the walls as she made her way to the stairwell.Â
With a relieved sigh deflating your chest, you eased the door shut. Leaned against it, glancing at the man of the hour. He was still fast asleep, his leg dangling off the edge of your sofa. You smirked knowingly, shaking your head as you disappeared into your bedroom.Â
Youâd let him sleep for as long as he needed. And youâd give him shit when he awoke about his taste in acquaintances.Â
(Sylus): hungry? (You): a little. was gonna make some ramen if you want (Sylus): �� (Sylus): that stuffs terrible for your digestion sweetie. (Sylus): how about i make you dinner instead ? (Sylus): at the supermarket. need anything? (You): đ˛đ˛đ˛ (You): you keep spoiling me and i might think you like me (Sylus): đ (You): nvm. no donât need anything. lemme know when youâre back (You): i can help with groceries (Sylus): now who likes who? (You): fkdkos (Sylus): ? (You): sorry fat fingersÂ
You have a nasty habit of not using your peephole as of late.
Your apartment came with one for a reason. Sure, your neighborhoodâs been pretty tame since youâve moved here. But that doesnât mean the occasional weirdo doesnât slip past security, roaming the halls and startling the other tenants.Â
Youâve found yourself forgoing the use of it a lot lately, given the only person who typically knocks on your door is the guy across the hall. And he usually calls or texts before he bugs you, but that doesnât stop him from being spontaneous. You suppose today is one of those such cases after he manipulated you with dinner.Â
Maybe his hands are full, you muse, unlocking your door. Though youâre doubtful he canât handle a few bags. Youâve seen him in action at the community gym, thick cords of muscle rippling beneath a tan stretch of skin.Â
You draw the door open with a smile, expecting to see a customary thatch of white. What confronts you instead sends a tide of dread washing over your innards.Â
âOh, thank God youâre home,â breathes a voice you havenât heard in months. A voice that still makes your body stiffen, and your blood run cold.Â
When your senses return, you step back into your apartment, thoroughly intending to slam the door in your exâs face. Theyâre quicker, however, wedging themselves in the gap before you can shut it. Grabbing for you, a crazed look warping their features.
âBaby, please! Talk to me! I miss you!â
You bat at their hand, trying vainly to crush them, to scare them off. Itâs to no avail, and you wonder if theyâre coked up, giving you a run for your money as they try to bully their way into your home.
Thereâs a softball bat propped on the wall, and your fingers brush the base of it in your attempt to grab it. Something to defend yourself since your taserâs out of reach, tucked somewhere in your bag.Â
The sounds of your struggle intermingle, your voice strained and panting, please please please, and your exâs caught between sobs of your name.Â
Just a little further. Justâ
Suddenly, thereâs no more resistance in your door. You stumble against it, a wild look in your eyes. And then, there is the noise of a brief scuffle. Of a back being shoved against a wall, of rusting plastic bags, of âWho the fuck are you?!â
Amid your panicked frenzy, you glance up to see a back to you. Barring you from the view beyond your threshold, and your bodyâs awash with relief as you register your saviorâs form.
âYou would do well to piss off,â seethes Sylus, and thereâs an edge to his voice youâve never heard before. You feel it furling in your stomach, burning your lungs. And in this moment, you donât know who to be more afraid of.
Your ex makes a sound of protest, but you imagine the cut of Sylusâ eyes deterring them.
There is the scuffling of shoes across the concrete flooring of the breezeway, and you listen with bated breath until the cacophony fades at the foot of the stairs, willing your heart to ease down.
Scarlet eyes shift to you, brows knit with concern. âWho was that?â Sylus asks, tone cautious as if he doesnât want to startle you more than youâve already been.
You right yourself, smoothing out the wrinkles of your clothes. Finally grab your bat, waving it intimidatingly as you step aside to let your neighbor in.
âMy stupid ex. Just know you saved their life. âcause I was gonnaââ You make swinging gestures, the metal bat swooping in the air. The corners of Sylusâ eyes crinkle.Â
âSlow down before you hurt yourself.â He kneels to retrieve the bags heâd tossed down in his haste to intervene. You scurry over to help, gathering up spilled food.
Once youâre both inside, the bags placed haphazardly on the counter, youâre seated on your sofa, nursing the rush of adrenaline still spuming through you like the hot rush of a geyser.Â
âYou need to get a restraining order,â says Sylus. He emerges from your kitchen with a tense set to his jaws, two bottles of Angry Orchard clasped between his fingers.Â
Plopping down beside you, an arm draped over the headrest, he shoves a bottle into your hand, side-eyeing you as he throws his head back for a swig.Â
You babysit the cider, the crisp condensation of it serving to ground you. âYeah, yeah.â
âIâm not asking, sweetie.â
You bristle under the weight of his tone, feeling much like a scolded child. You know this. Shouldâve done it long ago the first time your ex took it upon themselves to do surprise pop-ups at your placeâat your job. Â
âAnd an alarm system.â
âI know, I know.â
âI can take you right now to look for oneââ
âI got it, Sy! Fuck, I-I got it.â You release a weighted sigh, warring with yourself.Â
Not only do you feel silly for being so lackadaisical with your life. But now, you feel even worse for the seemingly impenetrable silence that settles between you. You didnât mean to yell, frustration and adrenaline having burbled to the surface. He was just worried. No need to take your emotions out on him.Â
Sylus exhales slowly, an unreadable expression descending onto his face whilst staring at the wall.
âSorry,â you murmur, unconsciously patting his quad. You donât miss how he stiffens; donât miss the tight coiling of tendons in his neck. You retract your hand, instead drumming your fingers along the bottom of your bottle.
âIâm assuming this isnât the first time this has happened,â queries Sylus in an attempt to dispel the tense atmosphere.
You shake your head, shrinking into yourself. Stare at your lap, pulling at some frayed threads in your bottoms.Â
âHow did they even manage to get up here?â
You shrug. The security guards at the gates arenât always the most attentive. Besides, sometimes, the pin pad leading into the lobby malfunctions, making it easier for anyone to just slip into your complex.
Unprompted, you begin to bare yourself, explaining the possibilities of why your ex showed up.
Sylus listens attentively. Doesnât interrupt you, watching the subtle shifts of your expressions as you speak.Â
You tell him that things werenât bad in the beginning about two years ago. How your ex said and did all the right things, and they were wonderful. But they wanted something you werenât ready for. You had some growing up to do, so you broke things off. Moved to another city, started a new job.Â
You didnât bank on them following you.Â
The visits were random at first. Occasional run-ins at the park, the bar. Things soon blossomed into something more concerning when your ex found your new address after you relocated to another part of the city to ease the stress of the commute.Â
This was their second time making an appearance at your door. You knew you shouldâve done something to protect yourself sooner, but you didnât think much of it then. Figured they would live and let be. Today proved otherwise.Â
âYouâre grossly naive, sweetie.âÂ
You snort before gulping down the remnants of your cider. âWay to make me feel better.â
He chuckles, and itâs comforting, your thighs pressing together amid your dinky couch. âItâs what Iâm here for. But I could understand how you could drive someone to such extremes.â
You glare at him. âWhat the hell does that mean?â
âIt meansâŚâÂ
Before you know whatâs about, heâs panning in, flooding your vision with the scarlet shine of his eyes. With the wispy dance of his lashes until his breath fans over your molten cheeks. Limber fingers sneak beneath your chin, slightly tilting your head back.Â
Warmth wades over you. Your breath swells in your chest. Lips purse as a mysterious shade of burgundy leaks over his irises. His voice drops a few octaves, husky, the sound of it pinching in your stomach.
âIt means that youâre someone worth fighting for.â
You scoff, shaking yourself away from his hold. Ignore the bashfulness creeping into your face in favor of being a cheeky little shit.Â
âAll right, Li Shang. Getting a little too serious over there.â
He huffs a laugh in response, popping up to grab another round of ciders from your fridge.
Ingredients sat untouched on the countertop as your evening eased by. Youâd settled on a pizza, catching up on shows and talking, long after the moon had pinned itself to the center of the sky.Â
Sylus promised to teach you how to use a gun. He had plenty and would carve out time in his schedule to take you to a range. He didnât press much after, instead letting the weight of your evening melt from your shoulders.Â
He was reluctant to leave you, even after sunbeams spilled through your blinds and you snoozed so quietly, cheek propped against his shoulder.Â
His hand never left your thigh. Possessive in its touch as he mirrored your affections from before.Â
Itâs strange.
Today is your birthday. Youâre enjoying yourself, filled with enough alcohol to tranquilize a small goat.Â
Your co-workers had dragged you out. Surprised you with dinner, a cake. Took you to the strip of bars lining the streets adjacent to your apartment complex. You were all smiles until your cheeks ached, and youâd nearly thrown up from laughing so much.Â
Still, you feelâŚempty. Like something is missing. Or someone.Â
You look at your phone for the umpteenth time. Scroll through your messages, reliving the moment in your head.Â
Sylus was the first to wish you a happy birthday. It made you swell with overwhelming happiness, knowing heâd woken up so early to be the first to say it. You donât think youâve ever cried harder when he sent a voice message of him singing âHappy Birthday.â
God, for everything he was good at, poor baby couldnât hold a note to dig himself out of a hole. Still, you cherished the gesture, lying in bed for the first hour youâd been awake, replaying said message and rolling around your bed like an enamored teen.
Even now, you replay the voice note, holding the speaker to your ear. Itâs hard to hear it amid the live band playing and the merriment around you at the bar. Try as you might to enjoy what remains of your night, you canât keep your thoughts from drifting back to a certain smug figure clad in black.Â
(You): đŚââŹđŚââŹđŚââŹđĽđĽđĽ (Sylus): hows it going birthday babe? (You): đđđ (You): u shuld be her e (Sylus) im sorry sweetie. i had some work to catch up on. (Sylus): you must be having a good time. đ (You): fuk wrk đđđ (You): am not drink ur dronk (Sylus): lol. you sound plastered. (Sylus): do i need to come rescue you? (You): hum (Sylus): ? (You): hone (You): home (Sylus): 𫤠(Sylus): we need to have a serious talk about you enabling autocorrect. (You): r u (You): home (Sylus): about to be. why ?? (Sylus): sweetie?
Somehow, you find yourself staring at the glossy, black numbers embossed on the top center of his door. 302. Itâs ingrained in your memory. Youâd probably find your way to his apartment with your eyes closed, driven to it by the familiar smell and homeliness it exudes.Â
Youâre still a little tipsy. Took some time to sober up as best you could before ditching your friends and catching an Uber back to your complex. You had enough sense to gather everything youâd shown up with. Didnât hitch a ride with any strangers regardless of how many of them tried to pull you into their arms as you stumbled out of the bar.Â
You had a one-track mind. Only wanted to spend the rest of your birthday with him.
With a goofy smile plastered on your face, you knock on his door. Youâre singing that infectious song you canât get out of your head when it swings open.
âApateu-pateu, apateu-pateu,â you chant, shaking your hips from side to side.
He greets you with an omniscient smirk, eyes softening whilst leaning against the doorframe. âWell, hello, birthday babe.â
âSup!â you return a little too enthusiastically, pitching forward until Sylus steadies you with his hands. You giggle like a drunken fool, peering at him. Hadnât realized how good his hands felt, searing through the fabric of your top.Â
Come to think of it, you hadnât noticed many things about him before. His lips are a pretty shade of pink. Skin textured, nose sharp, cheeks high. Little flecks of amber dwell between the scarlet rinse of his eyes. His hair falls into his face, damp from the shower he probably had before answering the door.
âI take it you had a good night,â he says, gaze painting a steady triangle between your eyes and mouth.
âAlmost,â you whisper back, surprised by the huskiness of your voice. You lose yourself in the idle stir of his eyes. In the fragility of his smile, and you feel so safe in his hands like this.Â
You donât know what compels you to do it. To conquer the space of hot, dizzying breaths between you. But, you sort ofâŚwellâŚ
Your inhibitions hit the floor. With your fingers wrapped tenderly around his wrists, you angle yourself closer to kiss him. You almost pull away when he stiffens. But he seemingly relaxes, and his lips cautiously move against yours as he unconsciously guides you closer.
You cling to the sleeves of his sweatshirt. He encircles your waist in his powerful arms, fastening you to the hard press of his body. He kisses you like heâs waited lifetimes to do it, one hand molding around the apple of your cheek.Â
When your tongue sloppily prods the barrier of his teeth, he bristles. Draws away from you with a resounding smack, blinking wildly. Youâre confused. Your heart sinks. You try again to draw him back in, but he gently pushes you away, shaking his head to dispel the bleariness. To chase away the spell thatâs fallen over you.Â
âBaby, wait. No. NotâŚnot like this,â he rasps through kiss-swollen lips, holding you by your hips. Youâre wounded. A hot flush of embarrassment washes over you, and your brows knit together like those of a confused puppy.
âWha-whatâs wrong? Did Iâam Iââ
âNo, no, youâreâŚyou're perfect,â he soothes with a chuckle, a thumb gliding over your bottom lip. âBeautiful, even. I justâŚI donât think now is a good time to do this.â
âOh.â You deflate, a scorching film of tears clouding your vision. âOh, okay. Um, Iâll justâyeah, Iâll go. IâllâŚsee you around, I guess.â
You slide out of his arms, too mortified to look back as you fumble with your keys. After he murmurs a hoarse, âgood night.â Did you misread him before? Misinterpret his actions, his words?Â
Youâre numb as you sink into your couch. Sobriety slowly creeps in. Stray tears blister your cheeks, but you donât full-on sob. Canât bring yourself to, instead laughing hysterically with your face buried in your hands, swallowed by the bleak loneliness of your apartment.
Happy Birthday, indeed.
#sylus x reader#sylus x you#neighbor au#neighbors to friends#friends to lovers#sylus#love and deepspace sylus#lads sylus#lnds sylus#l&ds sylus#sylus love and deepspace#qin che#sylus fluff#sylus romance#lnds x reader#love and deepspace fic#gn reader
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âŞď¸â â ĐОвОо MОНОкО đŽđĽ ââ âŞď¸
(Translation: New Milk)
â đ!!NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!đ
â male! subtop! Francis Mosses / male! dombottom! Reader
â overstimulation if ya squint a lil, milking, breeding, dumbification, passing out, belly bulge (If your not into this, look away!! đťđť)
â implied Russian speaking Francis (translated from google translate and research for needed accuracy, however, any form of critique or correction definetely is allowed!)
â short (I think???)
â author has played Not My Neighbor
°âânsfw under the cutââ°
You and Francis had a thing. And, fuck, for a minimum wage worker who barely gets any kind of rest at all, he's fucking good at what he does. He's a big fan of milking. Not his job, no, he could rant about how shitty it can be despite not wanting to get a new one (A/N: so real) but he's a fan of milking. Just the other kind of milking.
The first tim you two had sex, he was pretty sheepish about it, yeah. He didn't know if you prefered topping or bottoming so he settled for a handjob. You did the same as well. Until you both got used to each other and realized that he was pretty flexible. He'd do whatever you'd want to do, whatever you had in store, as long as if it wasn't too much for either of you. He loves fucking but he surely isn't a sex devient. Somewhere in the middle. Pliant to whatever you to had planned. But recently, he may or may not have discovered a new kink. Somethig that made his legs flex and his stamina increase and the gooey, warm, and fuzzy gears in his head grind back to life to keep on going. The last time you two had sex, there was now no condom, and he was pounding you into the bed that you swore Isaack would definetely send a formally written complain, persuasive enough for the both of you to not have such intense, hot, steamy sex for the next few months, (He's a reporter after all, have to respect the man informing the people, and he definetely has a way with words).
Humming, groaning, a little against your neck. You swore it was like a kitten, as if he was purring in a way. You pulled his hair as per usual and with a louder grunt his dark brown eyes roll up just a slight and flutter, closing shut as he fills you to the brim with his warm baby batter. Shaking, sweating, and biting his lip when he just keeps on cumming until theres nothing more to give. Or is there?
What he didn't expect, was when you suddenly whispered in the midst of him balls deep inside you,
"Thats it... good boy, you fuckin slut... Cum in me, keep milkin' yourself f'me"
Ah shit, he swore something inside of him just snapped loose. With the way he shivered violently, and as your hand loosened on his sweaty brown hair he moves again. Oh how odd, after a few rounds, the last one being penetration, he's always so tired, opting to give you a handjob or finger you if you didnt get a taste of your climax but shit. If this wasn't hot then what was?!
When you had basically degraded him to milk his balls dry you didn't mean literally, but fuck. This was so appealing, that your little milk boy had his quirks.
You look down at yourself seeing the bulge appearing on your abdoment everytime he thrusts in and god does it make you feel dizzy. Your hard dick, leaking as well just begging to cum while Francis gasps and shudders a little more, oh he looks so dumb. Trying to do as he's told. To keep milking himself. Milking himself for you. Just for motherfucking you. It keeps fuzzy sparks inside of his brain that has him smiling and drooling against your chest.
"Awe, what an adorable little cow you are... Milking your-...yourself for me... Giving me every ounce of that sweet sweet milk of yours, hmm? You wanna give me your milk Francis? You wanna fucking cum in me again?"
He feels so lightheaded that he smiles dumbly at the idea and nods as if his head is too heavy, full of warm cream. Muttering several words in russian mixed in with english as he nods slowly, trembling as his cock, still hard and moving perfectly against every spot inside of you.
"Please please please Đ-ĐŃкОНка please... fuck fuckk- let me cum... inside... inside... cum inside please please milk me- oh... Đ-ĐОМаНŃĐšŃŃĐ°... Đ-...ĐОНОŃŃĐľ... ĐОМаНŃĐšŃŃĐ°..."
The pathetic, brown haired man sobs. Pawing at your sides like an injured little puppy. Begging so prettily, who could deny those eyes of his? all teary and tired. Small blobs of salty water dripping down his eyebags which were now disappearing, thanks to yourself for keeping his sleep schedule normal again after years of nap malnutrition.
After a few more moments of Francis groaning so softly against your ear, you feel yourself about to cum too, and when you order it directly, he really does come undone. Panting like a dog in heat while nails dig against his back skin. All the while he buries himself deep inside of you once again and fills you up with a second load of his fluids that it's practically drooling out of your hole. You hiss as well, shutting your eyes with a shudder as your dick spurts out a thick white rope of cum, coating Francis' stomach and your chest. Fuck.
Francis pants, collapsing on you. You gently push him to the side and just watch him catch his breath. Eyes closed, skin warm and sweaty while he's still inside you. All soft. But its not uncomfortable. At least now, you definetely know how you can abuse this new found information with your lovely boyfriend.
#𤯠writes#francis mosses#francis mosses milkman#francis mosses thats not my neighbor#thats not my neighbor#milkman#milkman thats not my neighbor#reader x milkman#milkman x reader#francis mosses x reader#francis mosses x male reader#bottom francis mosses#sub francis mosses#usfw#smut#fic#fiction#tnmn#thats not my neighbor fandom#writing#writers of tumblr#romance#haha lol#doppleganger#Nacho Sama#yessss#x reader#x yn#reader#yn
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This is for the Minotaur x reader x Orc thruple. Imagine reader getting pouty cause her monster boyfriends will slap each others asses for fun just walking past one another. Or your orc boyfriend will literally just spank your Minotaur boyfriend as a form of punishment or for play. But they wonât do it to you cause they are worried to hurt you. So reader starts bratting like crazy for not getting her way and in hopes that they will put her in her place and finally spank her. Minotaur boyfriend sees whats going on and finds it amusing. Orc boyfriend realizes whatâs happening too, and his patience is thinning.
Hey darling, I've been thinking about this ask long and hard and if I should do one more part of the story aviable for everyone, and I'm sad to announce that I'm gonna pass that story to Patreon, BUT, I do love to talk about them and I'm not opposed to do tiny snipets of their lives here, so here we have a tiny snipet of the scene you propose:
[For people who hadn't read the story, heres part 1, part 2 and part 3]
You turn around when you hear a very VERY loud smack behind you. There's a muttered "ouch" and then your minotaur boyfriend is there, rubbing his now sore ass, and your orc boyfriend is smirking in that smug way that drives you fucking insane.
"Why do you ignore my ass?" You ask, they turn around to look at you completely confused. "As in, why don't you smack my ass when I pass by, for example," you explain.
"We..." The orc starts.
"We don't want to hurt you, honey," the minotaur finished for him.
"But I want to." You try not to sound too needy, but you fail.
Your orc boyfriend rises an eyebrow, "Oh? Do you want to be spanked, little human?" He asks, a hint of danger behind his words. You shiver, biting your tongue not to moan.
"We can spank you if that's what you want," your minotaur's boyfriend's tone is a lot more measured, like he's not sure about it. You smile at him, tenderly. He's so soft.
"Yes, please." As soon as the words are out of your mouth, your body is being grabbed and thrown over your orc's shoulder, his hand groping your ass on the way to the bedroom.
#helping neighbors series#monster#monster fucker#monster imagine#monster x human#teratophillia#monster x reader#terato#monster boyfriend#orc#minotaur#orc x minotaur#orc x minotaur x reader#monster polyamory#monsters#monster fuqqer#monster kink#monster love#monster lover#monster romance#monster smut#monster x you#monsterfucker#monsterfucking nsft#txt#txt request
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Good morning everyone, I am ravaged by my curse (impeccable taste and correct opinions about everything)
#my stuff#totally definitely absolutely not losing my mind with lust at the thought of chomping tboy tiddy#Or tummy! whatever i can fit in my gay mouth!!#like yes i want to romance the hell out of you. yes i also wanna push your shirt up and kiss everything it hid from me#and i expect the same gay shit in return!!!#pic is from My Divorced Crybaby Neighbor#it is mid but shots like these really capture my Insanity#trans#t4t
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Theres a reason he looks like he does. Other nightmares helped style him up to bring in more prey and he replied with: "Mmmm. Alright."
#tnmn#thats not my neighbor#tnmn nightmare mode#tnmn spoilers#tnmn yog sothoth#tnmn doorman#anon#tw blood#tw romance novel cover type beat#my art#fan art
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Oh, Mr Mosses (Series) II
Part one can be found here!
https://www.tumblr.com/trulyumai/746978557424812032/oh-mr-mosses-series?source=share
Synopsis: You were fine with the job, the steps were easy enough but the secret of the D.D.D was getting harder and harder to contain. Each night a new entity would enter the building, each with its own horrific look and intentions. Just as you debate on leaving, a new resident has entered the premises; Francis Mosses who is absolutely entranced by your being.
Will you be as smitten of him as he is of you? Only time will tell.
Taglist; @tfamidoingwithmylife (Let me know if you want to be added!)
Oh, Mr. Mosses II
âThere you are Ms. Svertchz, have a wonderful day!â The receptionist smiled and through the glass she carefully looked at the woman in front of her. Her nails were so clean, she noticed, they were always gelled, matching whatever premium outfit she had on that day.Â
âYes, you too dear.â Without a glance at the younger woman the resident walked off, the tapping of her heels echoed through the old corridor and finally ceased when the elevator creaked its way down.Â
It had been a week since meeting Francis, and she hadnât really gotten a true impression of the man. He was so quiet, so⌠watchful. Anything she did in front of him she could feel his eyes on her, always staring at her with this thoughtful yet blank expression.Â
He was just shy, she had thought. And if she was to make a move at all, it had to be small enough so that neither of them would be too embarrassed or caught off guard.Â
He was so handsome, he was dressed nicely all the time and his lazy gaze fit his face so well. His nose was a bit hooked and larger than the average, but he made it look rugged, sexy even.Â
With a shake to the head and a glance at the clock she let out a sigh. It was break time.Â
Clouds rolled in, the rain came down soon after and poured down mercilessly. The winds howled along with it and she swore that if it got any stronger, the building would come cascading down. Almost everyone had checked in for the night, everyone except, she eyed the list again; Francis Mosses.Â
With a squeeze to the paper she couldnât help but let out a shaky breath.Â
It was hell waiting to see if the dupe would come through the doors. Recently it had been trickier to spot the fake, they were getting smarter, better.Â
Just the other day she almost let in a double of Ms. Bubbles, if she hadnât noticed the lipstick was maroon instead of its usual raspberry who knows how many bodies would be littering the floor right now. The monster was furious she had caught on, it was so close, so close to being let in and getting its way through the building.Â
A slam startled her out of her thoughts, the doors to the plaza burst open from someone- or something walking inside.Â
The steps were slow, lazy, it had to be-Â
âMmm. Hello.â The milkman smiled, and although it was small, it comforted the receptionist dearly.Â
âHello Francis! The regular forms, please.â Straight to business, then who knows? Maybe ask him about coffee, a bookstore date, anything!Â
Grabbing the papers he slid them over to the entrance, pushing them through with ease.
Turning them over she began her rambling.Â
âHow was your day, Francis? Things have been super slow here.â She mumbled, lining up each number and form.Â
âMm, it was fine. The rain was a bit of a hindrance but it didnât stop me from completing my routes.â God, the way she said his name, he had to stop himself from biting down on his knuckles. Perfect, how could someone be so perfect all the time?Â
He was enamored, obsessed even, with everything she was. It had been a week, sure, but it felt like a lifetime for him.Â
She was distracted, per usual so he could stare at her freely now with no embarrassment to be had. Yet.
Her blouse was simple, a nice pale pink that hugged her in all the right places. And was that, a pencil skirt? Holy hell, this woman would be the death of him.Â
With a glance to her left she looked at the schedule for the hundredth time, Francis' name was indeed there.Â
âEverythingâs clear, sorry for the wait.â She smiled at him then, her perfect teeth molded smoothly around her lips and- did he say she was perfect yet?
âThank you.â Those glossy lips were tantalizing him, that had to be new lipstick, thereâs no way he hadnât noticed that sheen before on those plump, kissable-Â
âAre you okay? You space out a lot,â she laughed.Â
Quickly grabbing his forms he shoved them in his pocket, not bothering to open his wallet once more.Â
He had to leave, the thoughts were getting to him, he felt hot, sweaty and tight in all the wrong places. It was a good thing his uniform came with black pants, otherwise he wouldnât bother to show his face around any longer.Â
âMm, have a good night.â Without a pause he made his way to the elevator, and if it wasn't for the hand that shot out the paper slot he would have made it there.
âWait! Iâm sorry I didnât mean to grab you like that, but um,â his eyes couldnât help but widen, looking down her hand was still around his wrist. So small, so soft.Â
âDo you⌠want to get coffee sometime?â She mumbled, although the rain was heavy and sounded out almost anything, he heard her. Because of course he did. Lifting his other arm, he couldnât help but cover his mouth and cheeks. He rubbed his face, played it off as if he was really thinking it over, like it was a hard answer.Â
âMmm. Sure that sounds good.â And with a light smile he met her eyes. They were shining, full of emotion and if he looked any longer there was no way he was leaving.Â
âWait, really?â She gasped, letting go of his hand quickly and slotting it back to the other side.Â
âMhm, just⌠Iâll come to you, my schedule is quite hectic, you see.âÂ
âNo of course! That sounds great, I'm sorry again for grabbing you,â And she truly looked apologetic, her face was so sympathetic, chin tilted downwards and she looked more like a kicked puppy than anything else.Â
âDonât worry about it, itâs fine,â heâs totally not going to imagine her hands later, gripping his shoulders, neck, trailing them down further and further. Â
âIâll see you soon then!â She pushed her hair back, letting it fall behind her gorgeous neck, collarbones and, what was he saying again?Â
âMm? Yes. Yes Iâll see you soon.â With a little pep to his step he pushed the elevator button.Â
It was then a call rang out, it was the work phone.Â
With a dreamy sigh she imagined him, the date and how perfect it all would be. Maybe they could grab dessert after.Â
âResident desk, employee 29 speaking.âÂ
âHey 29! Great to catch you!â The manager's voice rang through and she sighed, her break was almost up and of course, the most extroverted person had to come talk her ear off.Â
âHello sir, what can I do for you?âÂ
âStraight to the point, you know I love that! You got the schedule for next week, right? Should be in a yellow envelope,â he smacked his teeth on the other end, and she could picture him now with his toothpick and big glasses staring right at her.Â
âYes sir, you told me not to open it until the day of.âÂ
He laughed. âYep yep! Just uh, making sure. So, while I have you I thought I should mention,â shuffling was heard on the other end, like papers were being sorted through and thrown about.Â
âThe D.D.D wanted to make sure all employees know that this month will be more active than ever, and uh, they're sending in new forms to sign, waivers and what not.âÂ
She frowned. Active? What, how, why?Â
Cutting him off she couldnât help but talk fast. âSir? Active? Why are they more active?âÂ
He paused, and she swore she could hear her heartbeat through her ears before he spoke up again.Â
âYeah, yeah, they said it had something to do with the weather? No idea, didnât really bother to ask them you know, itâs hard to hold a conversation with a guy in a hazmat suit.âÂ
He laughed again and she wanted to strangle him, the man couldnât take anything serious.Â
âThatâs all doll, you have a wonderful evening you here?âÂ
âWait, sir-â Click.Â
That bastard, who does he think he is? Who does management think they are? Putting the phone back on the hook she couldnât help but feel tired. Tired from work bullshit, how everyone brushed her off even though she was helping people, saving lives each and every night.Â
The clock chimed, signaling for her shift to be over and she lazily rolled her chair back, getting up while picking at her nails.Â
At least she had the date to look forward to, right?Â
A/N:Â Second chapter done! We are slowly getting to the darker side of things woo! The next chapter will be a big one. I'll be introducing Francisâ mimic and will the receptionist be able to tell which is which? Well see! Let me know if i should implement more smuttier descriptions or content, for now i haven't but that can change! See you lovelies soon, TrulyUmai
#Horror#thats not my neighbor#francis mosses x reader#francis mosses#TNMN!#x reader#slow burn#romance#horror game#game x reader#Francis Mosses x you
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pov: you look out of the peephole in your apartment and see your neighbor and his girlfriend are being weird in the hallway again
#his neighbors are either sick of his shit or deeply invested in this romance#msr#x files#scully#mulder#meme#i made this
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đ: đŞđđđđđđ
(đđđ đđ đľđđđĄâđđđ #2) đŚ˝đđ
âđ˝: đđŽđĽđ˘đ đđŤđ˘đŹđŹ
#crashed#julie kriss#mason brothers#part of a series#tessa hartigan#andrew mason#tessa and andrew#andrew x tessa#stuck together#neighbor romance#meet cute#lust at first sight#grumpy hero#sunshine heroine#friends to lovers#forced proximity#break up to save her#billionaire romance#afraid to commit#books recommendations#new books#libros recomendados#libros#frase libro#smutty books#booklover#book couples#booknerd#couple aesthetic#book aesthetic
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Make Me Lose Control â Part 1
SUMMARY: Park Sunghoon, a boxer with a difficult career, devotes his life to fights that leave marks on his body as well as his soul. His neighbor, Y/n, a nurse with a big heart, then becomes a pillar in his existence. After each match, she welcomes him to heal his wounds and lighten, even briefly, the weight of his solitude. Over the course of the care, a discreet bond develops between them, hinting at the possibility of a relationship that could turn their lives upside down.
PAIRING : Park Sunghoon x Neighbor Nurse! Reader.
GENRE : Romance, Drama, Psychological Darkness, Slice of Life, Erotica.
WARNING: Contains melancholy, intense physical pain, emotional distress, oppressive atmosphere, psychological manipulation, domination and submission, possession, extreme vulnerability, emotional dependence and hidden suffering. Scenes of dehumanization, control, physical and emotional tension, inner struggle, intense desire mixed with pain and ecstasy, as well as implied violence are present. The passage explores deep anguish, fear of abandonment, power dynamics and emotional dependence, acts of tenderness linked to suffering, the anguish of obsessive and destructive love, emotional exhaustion, betrayal, inner rage, frustration, denial of pain, guilt, self-rejection and internal conflict. This content addresses emotional tension, deep loss, betrayal and painful introspection, which may offend some sensibilities due to the emotional violence and the depiction of psychological and physical suffering.
âźď¸FINAL WARNING : This story contains explicit sex scenes, as well as potentially disturbing themes. It is intended for mature audiences. If you are sensitive to topics such as physical violence, emotional abuse, or self-destructive behavior, it is best not to continue reading. The content explores dark aspects of human psychology and may shock or disturb some readers. Please use discretion before engaging in this reading.
Number of words : ~48k
Authorâs Note: I would like to clarify that I donât have much knowledge about nursing, medicine, or boxing, and Iâm not familiar with what really happens in the ring. I mainly relied on my imagination and Google research to write this story. I apologize if there are any inaccuracies.
Happy reading! Not proofread, sorry for the mistakes! If you enjoyed the story, donât hesitate to comment, reblog, or like!
⤠Main Masterlist â Series Masterlist | Next Chapter â˘
The darkness slowly invades the living room, every corner of the room melting into shadow, as if the night itself has infiltrated the most intimate corners of your mind. Lying on the couch, your body half relaxed, half still trapped in sleep, you let yourself be drawn in by the distant murmur of Gossip Girl , the voices mixing with the loneliness that weighs on you. It is not really attention that you pay to the screen, but rather a background noise, a distraction that tries to fill this heavy emptiness that invades you. Yet, deep down, you know that it is not the silence that weighs on you, but rather the oppression of your own thoughts, which, at this late hour, have no other company than the blackness of the night. Each moment seems suspended, frozen in the wait for a breakup, like a calm sea, ready to welcome the storm.
Your thoughts then wander, float, get lost in the immensity of silence, like waves of despair breaking on a deserted beach, without noise. Melancholy seeps into you, soft and insidious, enveloping you like a blanket too heavy, too dark, that you don't want to take off, despite the heat that struggles to pierce the night. The heaviness of the moment, of solitude, sucks you in and slowly engulfs you.
Suddenly, the shrill ringing of the front door tears the silence with a brutal blow. Your heart skips a beat. A shiver of surprise runs through you before a start shakes your body still numb with sleep. Your eyes barely open, as if your body doesn't want to come back to reality. For a moment, you remain frozen, like a bird trapped by a noise it shouldn't have heard. The seconds stretch, stretch to infinity, and your mind begins to go round in circles. Who could it be, at this late hour, to come and disturb your peace? The television continues to stir its empty words in the background, but your mind is elsewhere, prisoner of this sudden noise, this sound that has brutally brought you back to reality, pulling you out of your torpor and leaving you in an icy uncertainty.
Still half asleep, your bare feet touch the cold floor, a shiver running up your spine. You don't hesitate, or maybe you just don't have the strength to think. Your actions are automatic, as if a part of you already knows what to do. You remove the safety chain and open the door. The moment you turn the handle, a strange feeling passes through you, something heavy, worrying. The door opens slowly, with a creak that seems endless, and there he is in front of you. Park Sunghoon. Your neighbor. But he's not the Sunghoon you know anymore.
He is no longer the charming, smiling young man whose presence always seemed shrouded in mystery. Tonight, he is another man, a man you never imagined seeing in this light. He sways slightly, his dark eyes drowned in pain. One eye is closed, a purplish bruise marking his face from a violent blow. His features, usually so clear, are distorted by pain, a too intense blue that veils the depth of his gaze. The marks of blows streak his face, visible scratches appear along his jaw and neck. Every movement he makes seems to require considerable effort. And yet, despite the state he is in, he tries to smile, a weak and distorted smile, a desperate attempt to mask the pain he struggles to hide.
A shiver runs through you, heavier this time, a mixture of shock, fear, confusion. You don't have the words. You can't even move, so much does the strangeness of the scene nail you to the spot. Then, finally, instinctively, your legs move. Your arms reach out to him, and your hands rest on his shoulders, without thinking, to help him stabilize. You feel his warmth, his skin that, under your fingers, seems burning. The tension in his muscles jumps out at you, the way he fights not to collapse. You bring him inside, gently, but he weighs heavy, too heavy, like a weight you hadn't planned to carry. He lets himself go against you, his weight seeming almost unbearable to you, but he has no other choice. He leans weakly on you, and at the same time you feel the dampness of his blood, still fresh, soaking his clothes, which touches you and freezes your skin.
And in the dim light of the living room, each second stretches, each movement seems to be in slow motion. You gently lead him to the couch, taking care with each step. His body tenses with each effort, with each movement you make him make, as if the slightest change in position were torture. And yet, he says nothing. He doesn't even make a sound. But you see his muscles tense, you see the effort he's making. It breaks you. You feel his body struggling against yours, his broken soul seeking comfort, support, in your closeness.
When he finally sits on the couch, you lean over him, every detail of his face etched in your memory. His eyes are closed, his jaw clenched, as if he is trying to contain the pain that overwhelms him. You scan his face, detailing the marks of violence, the wounds that testify to the brutality to which he has been subjected. His lips, split, pale, as if he has forgotten how to smile other than through a mask of pain. There is something frightening in this vulnerability. Something tragic and beautiful at the same time, a dark beauty, a reflection of injustice. The bruises, the contusions, the cuts⌠all of it makes your throat tighten. Yet, in a strange way, you remain calm, almost icy calm, as if you are no longer there, like a nurse caught in the coldness of professionalism, facing a seriously injured patient. But deep down, your heart beats hard, too hard. You hold back, ignoring the pain that rises inside you with every second, with every breath. The pain of seeing him like this. But you know you can't break down now. Not yet.
âWhat happened, Sunghoon?â Your voice, trembling but driven by uncontrollable worry, breaks the oppressive silence that reigns in the room. Each word seems to slip between your lips, fragile and frightened, caught in a throat that is too tight. It is a silent cry, a desperate attempt to reach the other side of this abyss that separates you. The pain of each syllable burns your tongue, like a flame, and your heart races, beating frantically in your chest. You feel that he is the only thing that still ties you to this unbearable reality. Anguish squeezes your stomach, an icy and implacable vice. You lack air, each breath seems to take your breath away, stuck by everything that has not been said, everything that weighs, heavy and unbearable, in this room.
You scan his face, your eyes clinging to it like a lost soul searching for a glimmer of light in the darkness. His features are marked, hollowed by fatigue and a suffering that can no longer hide itself. But he hides everything. His eyes, drowned in a whirlwind of exhaustion and pain, slowly turn away from yours, as if he fears that the truth will escape too quickly. It is as if the light in his gaze has been extinguished, swallowed up by an abyss that he refuses to let appear. And yet, in those broken pupils, you perceive something. A raw vulnerability, but also something inaccessible, terribly distant. It pierces you, a shiver shakes you, like a shock that makes you waver under the violence of his gaze.
Then slowly, he raises his head. His gestures are slow, cautious, as if he had to draw immense energy for each movement. His gaze wavers between a broken, fragile pride, and a pain that seems to want to destroy him instantly. His dark eyes, drowned in fatigue, seek to hide behind a facade of pride, this last vestige of a strength that he wants to hide at all costs. He tries to sketch what could resemble a smile, but it is a distorted, bitter, almost grotesque grin. A grimace of pain that he no longer even tries to hide. This smile trembles under the weight of the truth that he does not want to free, but which haunts each of his gestures, his thoughts. The cracks are there, visible in his facade, and something deeply human shines through in his pain. He wants to preserve his pride, but you know that it is nothing more than a fragile illusion.
âA fight,â he finally whispers. His voice is hoarse, raspy, like a worn rope, each word seeming to tear more of himself away. Itâs a whispered confession, almost torn from his throat, the pain palpable in every word, every breath he lets out. âIt was a fight⌠The other guy was⌠like a beast. He wouldnât back down from anything.â His voice breaks on those last words, and he tries to laugh, but itâs only a broken breath, a desperate attempt that turns into a shudder of pain. The laughter isnât a burst of joy, but a bright pain, a wrench, and his features tense with the pain of his wounds. While every word he speaks is a dagger piercing you, every syllable digging the blade deeper into your heart.
You close your eyes for a moment, as if to contain this pain that threatens to engulf you. You try to breathe, but everything seems unbreathable. The anguish rises, tightens around your lungs, invades your mind. You nod, even if everything in you breaks, fades into an abyss of silence and despair. You want to believe that he won, that in this fight, he found a little of this pride that seems to be all he has left. But a part of you refuses to believe it, refuses to accept it. It is too heavy, too much pain in his words, in his gaze. "And you won, I suppose?" Your voice trembles as you whisper this question, your smile almost absent, forced, a desperate attempt to lighten this moment. Even the laughter that you let cross the barrier of your lips seems bitter, like a burst of light that goes out as soon as it lights up. It's not a laugh, it's a crack, a burst of sadness. Your smile fades like a flower under a sky that's too heavy, and what's left is an emptiness, a dull pain that swallows you up.
The silence that follows is heavy, oppressive. It stretches between you like a menacing shadow, laden with everything you haven't said, everything you can't say. The air around you becomes denser and denser, almost suffocating, as if the space itself were heavy with tension, with the unsaid. A cold shiver runs through you, but you can't even tell if it comes from the air or from yourself, from this helplessness, this pain that eats away at you. You know he's there, broken in front of you, and you feel so small, so fragile, in the face of this reality that crushes you.
Sunghoon nods slowly, without saying a word. His eyes, usually filled with that quiet strength you had admired so much, are now drowned in an ocean of suffering. He is a shadow of himself. Yet, despite everything, he holds on. His posture wavers, but he seems to refuse to let himself be defeated. In his pain, there is still that silent stubbornness, that refusal to let himself be consumed. But the cracks are there. Invisible, but very real. And you see them, you feel them in every fiber of his being, the ones he can no longer hide, the ones that mark his soul forever.
You sit up abruptly, unable to remain still in front of him, in front of this being you love, this bruised body that hurts you more than you would like to admit. Your legs tremble under the weight of your despair and confusion, but you force yourself to move, not to give in to this paralysis. The urgency to heal him, to protect him, to do something, anything, overwhelms you. Your trembling hands grab the first aid kit, but everything seems unreal, as if you were living in a nightmare from which you cannot escape. As if this bleeding, suffering body in front of you could not be his. It is too real, too alive, for you to accept this violence.
When you come back to him, a strange serenity invades you, like a new strength, a determination that you had never felt. But as you get closer, reality hits you hard. The marks on his face, the deep, violent wounds, scream at you the brutality of the fight he must have fought, remind you of every moment of suffering he endured. And this reality takes your breath away, paralyzes you for a moment. You can't believe what your eyes are showing you. You can't accept the violence of this situation.
Slowly, almost timidly, you approach him. Your now gloved hands brush his jaw with infinite caution, as if you fear breaking something that might never be repaired. You know that the slightest pressure could revive an unbearable pain, so you try to be as gentle as possible, even if every fiber of your being trembles. Sunghoon doesn't move, his half-closed eyes remain fixed on you. In his gaze, you see a strange glow, a raw fragility, but also this strength that still inhabits him. It's an internal battle, between pain and the will to survive.
He's looking for something in your eyes, you know it. A silent promise, a comfort, an answer to this pain he can't share. But you know it too. Nothing is right. Not now. Not in this suspended moment, where every breath seems a challenge. Maybe never.
âItâs not broken,â you whisper hesitantly, your fingers gently resting on his bruised jaw, the crook of your thumb brushing the warm, swollen skin. Your voice, firm at first, almost breaks into a sigh, betraying the inner struggle thatâs tearing you apart. Each word seems to cost you an energy you no longer have, as if by touching his bruised skin youâre absorbing a bit of his pain. He tries to smile, but itâs not a comforting smile, quite the opposite. Itâs too fragile, too uncertain, like a cracked vase that threatens to shatter at any moment under the slightest pressure. Itâs a smile laden with all the pain he refuses to show, and yet, you see this weakness he hides, this fragility he doesnât dare reveal.
His gaze, however, strikes you more than anything else. It is dark, almost burning, like an ember ready to explode, and you feel that, behind this intense glow, he lets you glimpse an ocean of unspoken things, of buried wounds. He looks at you as if he were trying to transmit something to you, a weight too heavy to bear alone. It is a gaze that penetrates you, that passes through you, and for a moment, you have the impression that everything around you disappears. There is only the two of you, suspended in a frozen space where time seems to have stopped. His features relax a little, but even in this relaxation, you see this wounded pride that fights against the vulnerability that he tries to ignore.
You shake your head slightly, as if to chase away this heaviness, but the words you seek to say are almost inaccessible to you, drowned under the wave of tenderness and pain that invades you. "Congratulations on... the victory," you finally breathe, your voice almost inaudible, drowned by emotion. These words, although spoken, have nothing joyful, nothing triumphant. They are charged with sadness, a deep pain for him, for what he has just been through, for what he continues to hide under this facade of an invincible fighter. Your hands, hesitant, move instinctively to his hair, brushing his locks, looking for something to hold on to, a simple gesture to show him that he is not alone in this moment. The grip of your fingers on his hair is almost timid, but there is in it a silent love, an implicit support.
He closes his eyes under your touch, as if heâs finally allowing himself to feel this moment of peace, this rare moment where he can let go. A shiver runs down his shoulders, and for a moment, you feel his muscles relax, a part of him surrendering to the pain, to the exhaustion. Then, a low moan escapes his lips, interrupted by a broken breath. This moan, this simple sound, is both a confession and a cry of pain, but also a breath of relief, an acceptance of what is inevitable. Heâs no longer a fighter, heâs a man, simply a broken, tired man, trying to hold on to this last bit of dignity.
You look at his face, and something even heavier settles inside you. The scene changes, as if the world around you dissolves, giving way to this suspended moment. âBut⌠I donât like seeing you like this,â you whisper, your voice fading into the air, broken by a pain you canât contain. Each word comes out with a force that surprises you. There is anger in your voice, yes, but also a pain that he may not perceive, or that he refuses to see. You donât like what he becomes in pain, what he hides under this fighterâs armor. âYou donât deserve this, Sunghoon. Not for⌠a fight.â Your words, heavy with frustration, with sorrow, come out with more force than you had imagined. They echo in the room, carrying a pain that you can no longer contain. You see it's not just a fight he lost. It's a part of himself he sacrificed, and it all upsets you.
He looks down at those words, as if youâve just put your finger on a gaping wound that heâs trying to hide. His wounded fists slowly clench, with the slowness of a man struggling to face his own humanity. A drop of blood trickles from one of his wounds, slowly descending onto his skin, like a silent testimony to the battle heâs just fought. âI knowâŚâ His voice is barely a whisper, strangled, trembling. The words are heavy with shame, with regret, as if heâs betrayed something in you, something he canât fix. âI⌠I didnât want you to see me like this. Iâm sorry, Y/n. So sorryâŚâ He repeats the words with heartbreaking gentleness, as if heâs trying to convince himself that heâs still worthy of your compassion.
A lone tear slowly rolls down his cheek, that lone tear that seems to carry a part of his soul with it, and it breaks everything that remains in you. It is a confession, a silent admission of everything he doesn't know how to say. He sniffles, grimaces, and you can see that his nose, now swollen, inflicts a new unbearable pain on him. But what pierces you, what tears you apart deep down, is this vulnerability that he no longer hides, this raw humanity that is finally revealed. In that moment, Sunghoon is no longer the invincible fighter you know, he is just a man, broken, wounded, and you suddenly feel helpless in the face of this transformation.
You approach him again, with that slowness full of precautions, as if each gesture could break something between you. Your hands tremble slightly as you place your palm against his cheek, the softness of your gesture contrasting with the brutality of the situation. Then, without thinking, you brush his nose with your fingertips, your heart heavy with fear and tenderness. He looks at you, and in his gaze, there is a whole world of trust, of suffering, but also this silent acceptance. He seems to tell you that, no matter what you are going to make him go through, he will be there, by your side. Everything he endures, everything he suffers, it is in the hope that you will lift him up, that you will be the one who gives him back his dignity, even in pain.
âThis is going to hurt,â you whisper, your breath short and shaky. The heat of his body against yours is unbearable, thick with sweat and the metallic smell of blood. You can feel the intensity of his pain, it cuts through you like a stab. The air is heavy, saturated with unspoken tension, and you focus on his eyes, those eyes that seem to beg you not to break him. âSorryâŚâ you breathe, your words barely audible, but filled with a sincerity that pierces you.
Then you press your thumb and index finger gently but firmly on either side of his nose, feeling the resistance of his bones beneath your skin, and the pain he tries to hide. The crack echoes, dry and sinister, in the room, and you feel like the noise is swallowing you up, suffocating you. Sunghoon grits his teeth, his lips already swollen and bruised from the blows, bitten to stifle the moans rising in his throat. His features tense, distorted by pain, and you see beads of sweat beading on his forehead, testifying to the intensity of the effort he is making to hold himself back. And yet, even in this pure pain, you perceive a glint in his eyes, a glint of defiance, of strength. It is as if he is telling you: âI am stronger than this.â
You release the pressure, and in that moment, you see a spark flicker in his eyes, a silent promise that he will hold on, that he will not let you down. But what upsets you, what tears you apart, is that lone tear that still rolls, a painful path down his cheek. âIâm⌠so sorry, Sunghoon,â you breathe, your voice cracking with the weight of the emotions choking you. You didnât want this. But in this moment, everything seems to have changed, and you know that nothing will ever be the same between you again.
âHey⌠Iâm tough, I can handle it,â he whispers, his voice cracked by a wavering bravado, a silent cry of resistance to the truth he refuses to admit. He speaks with a conviction he tries to force upon himself, but everything in his posture, in his gaze, betrays the pain he can no longer contain. Each word seems like an unbearable burden, a desperate attempt to maintain some semblance of control. But deep down, he knows his efforts are futile. His lips tremble slightly, and in the intensity of his gaze, one can see the cracks in a mask that is slowly crumbling. A flicker of doubt, fleeting but burning, creeps into his eyes. The humanity of his pain bursts, fragile and broken, into the pride he tries to preserve. That flickering light, however tiny, is the only thing he cannot hide.
He tries to raise his hand to wipe away the cold sweat that beads on his forehead, but it is his right hand, bloody and trembling, that rises awkwardly towards his face. Each gesture seems like a superhuman effort, a fight against the weakness that he refuses to admit. He touches his cheek, where tears slide without restraint, and his gesture, completely involuntary, is as heavy as a confession. His fingers are red, covered in blood, but he no longer even pays attention to it. He tries to erase the humiliation, to repress this vulnerability that seems to sneak up on him despite himself. His gaze wavers, seeking an anchor, but he ends up letting his hand fall, unable to get rid of the pain weighing on his shoulders.
âItâs just a scratch,â he says then, louder this time, as if to convince himself that reality is what he wants it to be. He shakes his head, that desperate little movement that seeks to push back the horror of his own weaknesses. But his voice trembles with the effort of keeping up appearances, each syllable shattering like glass under the pressure of his own denial. âIâm a boxer⌠not a weak man.â He repeats the words like a mantra, but they ring hollow, like one more sentence in the echo of his own defeat. The pain of his physical injuries, of his broken ribs, only scratches the surface. What chokes him, what grinds him silently, is the collapse of everything heâs built.
Everything about him speaks of a pain far greater than that of his broken bones or his tense muscles. This pain has no name, it has no face. It is an invisible presence, an all-consuming void. Every breath is an effort, every movement a challenge. His hands tremble, his eyes are shifty, and his heart, terribly fast, resonates like a drum, an irregular cadence that even physical pain cannot conceal.
You see his body tense, freeze under the effort of maintaining this facade of an invincible hero. He tries to convince himself that he is strong, that he can bear anything, but everything inside him screams the opposite. His gestures, clumsy and desperate, are a futile attempt to prove that he does not need pity, that he can face everything alone. Yet his soul is in ruins. His pride and bravery, once powerful, are now manifestly fragile. His eyes seek yours, but they are empty of the assurance he would like to find there. They seek a comfort that he dares not hope for, a pity that he refuses to accept.
The tears continue to fall, each drop seeming heavier than the last, more painful to hold back. They are proof that he can no longer control what is happening inside him, a whirlwind that he tries to escape but that engulfs him little by little. He does not show it, he hides it behind his trembling smile and his pride, but he is broken, and each tear that slides on his skin is a victory of this pain that he tries to escape.
He closes his eyes briefly, as if hoping the pain would suddenly disappear, as if wishing it all to end. But when he opens them again, it is to look at you, a new fragility in his gaze, an abyss of suffering that he tries to hide with a forced smile. His hands tighten against his arms, as if to hold back what might escape. But he knows that all is already lost, that the battle is already won by pain, and that his mind is a field of ruins.
âDonât say thatâŚâ Your voice breaks under the weight of emotion, a wave of sadness, helplessness, and frustration overwhelms you. You want to help him, save him, tell him that he doesnât have to carry all this alone, but the words get stuck in your throat. Itâs not the words that matter, you know that. Itâs this silent truth that creeps between the two of you, this truth that he canât accept. âYouâre much more than that. You⌠youâre human.â The words escape in a breath, a whisper of confession that you hadnât planned. But they are the truth. And even if this truth breaks him even more, you know that he has to hear it. Because, despite everything he tries to hide, you see deep in his eyes this part of humanity that he wants to run away from, this fragility that he hates and that he canât accept.
He turns away slightly, as if those words had struck him with a violence he cannot counter. Anger flares in his gaze, pride rises, but it is weak, hesitant, wavering. He tries to defend himself, but he is too exhausted, too broken. He knows that what he feels, this shame, this pain he carries, is stronger than his pride. His eyes, full of defiance and resentment, meet yours, wet with tears, but he finds none of the answers he seeks there. On the contrary, the flame of his pride flickers for a moment, hesitates, then hides, no longer finding refuge in his own heart as he sees your tears flow down your cheeks, without any restraint.
He closes his eyes again, a shiver running through his body. This shiver is not due to physical pain, but to the emotion that runs through him, an emotion that he can no longer hold back. He whispers, almost inaudible, as if each word is a burden too heavy to bear. âY/n, please donât cry⌠Iâm not worth it.â These words are knives in the air, a confession that he has repeated a thousand times in his head, but never with this fragility. Never with this pain. His voice trembles, breaks, and you see the shame invade his features, almost unbearable to watch. âYour tears⌠they are too precious to be wasted on me.â He seems to be punishing himself, inflicting a torture on himself that he has not deserved, as if his own suffering is a fault, a fault that he must atone for.
He tries to detach himself from you, to push away this tenderness that you offer him, but something inside him draws him back to you. He leans slightly, as if the gravity of his pain irresistibly draws him to you. And, in an almost trembling gesture, his hands come to your face to wipe away your tears, spreading his blood on your skin. It is not only a gesture of comfort, but a desperate attempt to hold on to something, to you, to the only thing that still seems real in this world that is collapsing around him.
He fights back his own tears that well up in the apple of his eye, but they persist, making his face even more painful to look at. His sobs are faint, but persistent, and you can hear them mixing with the sounds of his wheezing. âIâm so not worth it⌠PrincessâŚâ His voice grows a little hoarse, as if each word lays him bare, and his eyes close, as if he can run away from the truth heâs carried inside for so long. âIâm done for.â His words echo in the air, heavy, laden with regret and abandonment. He lets himself go against you, as if he hopes your body can hold him before he finally sinks into the night of his own thoughts. âThatâs why no one stays with me for too long⌠I know Iâll end up losing you⌠too.â
Those words strike like an iron bell in your mind, and a new, more violent pain creeps into you. He condemns himself before he even has the chance to see what he could be with you. The stones he throws are heavy and cold, and you feel them as if they are crushing your heart. You want to scream, to tell him that none of this matters, that you will be there, no matter what. But your words die in your throat, because you know that he would have told you: he does not believe in love, not in the one you offer him. He believes himself unworthy of all this, and he offers it to you as a burden that he does not want you to carry. But you are not afraid. You know that what he is experiencing is not what you are ready to let go of.
âDonât say that, Sunghoon.â Your voice is firmer this time, an anchor in the storm that consumes him. âIâm here⌠and I plan to stay, even if it hurts.â Your words arenât just words of comfort, but a challenge to his fears. The truth, simple but powerful, escapes from you like a ray of light in a dark room. He stares at you then, his eyes filled with incomprehension, as if heâs about to push you away again, but he canât. He searches for you in the chaos of his mind, searching for meaning in what youâre saying, but deep down, he knows itâs the truth.
He shuts down again, shaking his head, fighting the torrent of emotions that overwhelms him. His breathing becomes faster, more erratic, each breath seems to cost him energy he no longer has. You see his throat tighten, the muscles in his neck tense with the effort. He begins to panic, the crisis that is eating away at him is taking him faster and faster. You see the terror in his eyes, this irrational but devouring anguish, which makes his hands tremble, which squeezes his heart. He seeks to flee, to hide in a comfort zone that his demons refuse to offer him.
Without even thinking, you step closer, fighting the distance he tries to create, taking his bloodied hands in yours. You feel the heat of his skin, the erratic beating of his heart through his palms. âLook at me, Sunghoon. Breathe with me,â you say softly, but with a calm authority that cuts through the air. You want him to focus, to stay with you, to not fall into this downward spiral. You make eye contact, each glance an anchor, each heartbeat a promise. And you see the hesitation, the fear in his eyes, but also that little spark of recognition. He struggles, but heâs willing to try. He closes his eyes, trying to cling to your voice, to your presence, like a castaway clinging to a buoy.
âBreathe in⌠and breathe out,â you say softly, your voice filled with a tenderness that contrasts with the gravity of the moment. You struggle to synchronize your breathing with his, like an anchor in a rough sea, hoping to offer him some stability as the world around you seems to fall apart. Each breath you take seems to hang in the air, as you seek to convey a calm determination. He follows you, hesitantly at first, his ragged breaths betraying the panic inside him. Then, gradually, a sort of synchronization is created, each breath becoming more assured, more grounded. He fights against himself, against the pain, against the fear, but with each exhalation, something inside him relaxes, slowly, imperceptibly.
âThatâs good, Sunghoon⌠youâre getting there,â you murmur, the words sliding out softly, like an invisible caress. You see his face relax, his features tense with the effort of maintaining control gradually unraveling. The weight of his thoughts seems to dissipate, a little with each breath. His hands, which were tense, almost painfully clenched around you, become less rigid. They still shake, but this shaking becomes less frantic, less desperate. He hasnât completely abandoned this facade of resistance yet, but heâs starting to accept that in this moment, maybe, he can allow himself to let go, even if itâs only a little.
âIâm hereâŚâ you say, and those words, which you repeat almost mechanically, are more than just a promise. They are a silent oath, an anchor in the storm he has been going through alone for too long. They float in the air between you, heavy with meaning. Your voice, soft but firm, penetrates the pain, the fear and the silence that surround you. You see his eyes lock on yours, searching for answers, a stability he hasnât known for too long. In this suspended moment, you are the only thing he can still lean on. And thatâs all you can offer him. âWeâre going to get through this together.â Those words, spoken like a promise heâs not used to receiving, nevertheless seem to soothe something broken inside him.
His eyes close for a moment, as if the weight of those words hit him hard. His lips part slightly, as if he wanted to say something, but nothing comes out. A heavy silence, saturated with everything he can't express, settles between you. Then he sighs, deeply, a breath that seems to hold back a lifetime of suffering. It's not a sigh of resignation, but a sigh of relief, very small, fragile, but terribly real. His hands, still trembling, find your skin and, with a gentleness you didn't think possible, he rests his forehead against yours. This gesture, seemingly innocuous, is a form of abandonment, a silent act that says it all. You are there, together, in this suspended moment where pain, suffering and hope merge, mix.
In this silence, you barely hold back a sob, the emotion rising in you, uncontrollable. This simple contact, this closeness, tears you as much as it comforts you. The pain of seeing him like this, broken, vulnerable, takes you by the throat. But there is also this warmth, this spark of hope in his eyes, a fragile glow that tells you that he has not given up everything. This moment, you know that it will remain engraved in you forever: an instant where you saw Sunghoon's soul in its purest, most real form.
When you slowly pull away, it's as if a part of you wants to stay there, suspended in this contact, as if breaking this fragile balance could break something in both of you. The smile that sketches itself on your lips is almost imperceptible, but it is there, despite the pain that invades you. A dull, indefinable pain, but which intensifies when you see the weariness and exhaustion in his eyes. He looks at you, this strange look, marked by helplessness and despair, but also a bit of hope, however fragile it may be. He no longer knows how to read you, or how to accept what he feels, but he still searches for you in the darkness of his soul. And in the way his eyes fix on you, you know that there is something that has changed in him.
Kneeling before Sunghoon, an unbearable heaviness descends upon you, a whirlwind of emotions colliding in your mind, nearly stealing your breath. Your heart is pounding so hard you can hear it resonating in your temples, in every fiber of your body. There is a palpable tension between you, a power dynamic that is silent but very real. Your fingers tremble slightly, hesitant, as you gently lift his t-shirt. The contact of your hand with his bare skin is a shock that sends shivers down your spine. What you discover pierces you. Under the dim light of the room, his torso is marked, almost disfigured, with scars, bruises and purple. Each blow, each wound that adorns his skin is a silent image of violence, a story of pain and struggle. You canât look away.
A wave of conflicting emotions overwhelms you. On one side, the visual shock twists your insides, a pain that seems to be yours, an echo of solidarity. On the other, a disturbing admiration for this broken but still standing body, a resilience that moves you, forces you to recognize a strength you would never have imagined. The bruises are shards of a macabre painting, an arrangement of blue, black and purple that overlap, creating a mosaic of pain. Each mark seems to have its own story, and you are irremediably drawn to explore them with your eyes, trying to understand where they come from, what they mean. But it's more than that, isn't it? It's a silent call, a manifestation of a suffering that he didn't ask for, but that he carries in spite of himself. He never wanted all this, but it's there, imprinted on his skin like an indelible mark.
Your fingers slide timidly over his chest, caressing his quivering skin, brushing his bruises with an unreal softness, as if you were afraid that too much pressure would shatter the reality around you. You know that the pain he feels is far more intense than anything you can imagine, and yet, you can't help but search for answers in the tension of his muscles under your hand. A shiver runs over his skin, and you realize that your touch affects him more than he wants to show. You see his body react, a subtle tensing, a shudder that escapes your senses. It's not just the coolness of the air that makes him react, it's your touch, your touch. As if a part of him, the one he tries to hide, awakens at your touch.
When you linger on his ribs, you see his face contort with pain. Sunghoon's features tense, his eyes close for a moment, and you know that every movement, every pressure you apply is torment for him. A shiver of excitement runs through you, taking you by surprise, disturbing you. Maybe it's this confrontation with his pain, this strange beauty of seeing him suffer while remaining there, while resisting. But there's something else too, something more intimate. His body is an enigma, and you want to understand, you want to be the one to decipher this mystery. When you press a little harder, he growls, a guttural, almost animal noise, that makes you stop for a moment, frozen. The sound resonates in space, heavy, desperate, but also of a singular beauty in its vulnerability.
You try to reassure him, but you know itâs not easy. âItâs just swelling, nothing serious, but Iâm going to give you antibiotics to help with the pain. You have to take it all, Mr. Park!â Your voice is authoritative, almost amused, a strange contrast to the situation. You speak to fill the void, to break the tension a little, but a part of you knows that these words are more for you than for him. Maybe youâre just trying to convince yourself that everything will be okay. But you see his reaction. He grimaces, his face tightening, and a pout of disgust forms on his lips. Itâs not just a rejection of the medication, itâs a rejection of the very idea of ââdepending on something or someone, even in this situation.
A light, almost nervous laugh escapes from your mouth, breaking the weight of the atmosphere for a moment. This laugh is strange, inappropriate even, but necessary, like a way to bring a little lightness into this too heavy moment. But, even if you laugh, your eyes can't help but capture every detail of his suffering, every movement that betrays a little more of what he wants to hide. Inside, a struggle tears you apart, a tug. You want to protect him, but this desire to touch him, to see him suffer and fight against the pain, troubles you in a way you don't understand. It's a strange mixture of care and morbid fascination, an attraction that unsettles you.
âBut first, Iâm going to disinfect your bruises and scrapes,â you say, your tone becoming more serious, a gesture that goes far beyond simple medical care. Thereâs an intimacy to it, an intrusion into his personal space, a moment of painful sharing, a connection that goes far beyond what words can express.
You grab a gauze, soak it in alcohol, and the strong smell of disinfectant invades your nostrils. Itâs a pungent, familiar scent, that of treatment rooms, of moments when pain becomes omnipresent. The smell almost makes you sway, plunging you further into the intensity of whatâs playing out between you. You stand up slightly, leaning towards him, your gaze meeting his, that silent challenge burning in his eyes. Each beat of his heart is a palpable vibration in the air, a rhythm that captivates you. As you bring the gauze to his wounds, you give him a smile, almost cruel in its sweetness. You know the pain is inevitable, but thereâs nothing you can do to avoid it. The muscles in his body tense, every fiber ready to react.
âThis is going to hurt,â you whisper, your voice soft, tinged with an almost disturbing intimacy. Looking into his eyes, you see the storm raging inside him. The physical pain, yes, but also this inner struggle, this humiliation of being in this position, this unspoken desire for connection. A cry for help disguised as a challenge. The look becomes a silent exchange, an unspoken promise of what could be born between you, of this chaos you create together.
The first touches are both gentle and violent, a strange dance between gentleness and brutality. Sunghoon winces at every touch, his face twisting in pain, but there is also this glimmer of defiance, this fierce will not to give in, not to show himself vulnerable. In his eyes, you see a mixture of frustration and desire, an inner struggle that absorbs you. Each harder pressure on a bruise fills you with a shiver, a palpable tension between you, a macabre dance of conflicting emotions that seems to transcend words. It is as if each pain he suffers allows you to delve further into his world, to understand his limits, his fears, and in a strange way, it binds you to him.
You continue to gently apply the disinfectant to his wounds, each small tap on his skin resonating like a percussion, an echo that crosses your heart and creates waves of intense emotions within you. The fragility of this moment hits you hard, as if each gesture, however trivial, carried an immense weight. Each movement becomes a fragile dance between gentleness and violence, between the tenderness with which you treat his wounds and the pain he suffers without a word. With each contact with his skin, a shiver runs through your body, as if the simple act of touching him awakens in you an alchemy that you had not anticipated.
Sunghoon's face is tense, his features drawn with effort. You see his jaw clench, his teeth almost cracking with the strain. He keeps his eyes closed, probably to keep any evidence of his pain from slipping out, but in every fiber of his body, you feel that the intensity of the moment is affecting him as much as it is you. His muscles are tense, his breathing deep and irregular, but there is something in the way he presses his lips together that betrays an inner struggle. A silent duel between the pain coursing through his body and the fierce desire not to falter, not to let it get to him.
The cotton soaked in disinfectant brushes the damaged skin of his torso, and you can almost feel, in every shiver that escapes him, in every small movement, the magnitude of what he is enduring. The pain intrudes into the air like an invisible presence, a shadow that floats between you, a palpable tension that you feel almost as if it is passing through you too. Every blow, every scar, every bruise, it is like a weight crushing your heart. The violence he has suffered seems to have been imprinted on your own flesh, like a shared wound. You feel like an extension of him, a part of his being, as if you were one, linked by this silent suffering and, paradoxically, a strange desire. A desire that emerges slowly, imperceptibly, like a gentle but inescapable breeze.
Your gaze doesn't leave his wounds. The skin still red, marked by the imprint of the blows, the persistent blue of the bruises, all this under the subdued light that floods the room. But he says nothing, doesn't moan, he just endures. And you can't help but feel a silent admiration for him. A raw, inexplicable, almost painful respect. There is something fascinating, magnetic in his resistance, but also an infinite sadness, a pain that seems to want to invade you, overwhelm you.
The disinfectant slowly slides between your fingers, but each gesture becomes heavier, more difficult. Not because of the sight of his wounds, but because each small movement brings you closer to him, makes you feel his warmth, the tension of his muscles under your hand, each shiver that runs through his skin. The sound of the cotton soaked in alcohol coming into contact with his skin seems to amplify the distance between you, and at the same time, reduce it, almost dissolve it. It's strange, almost unreal. An insidious need to get even closer, but you know that certain limits cannot be crossed, certain spaces must be respected.
When you finish, the room seems to freeze in an even more oppressive silence. The only sound that remains is that of your breaths, broken, heavy, charged with contradictory emotions. Your heart beats faster, irregularly, as if each beat seeks to escape the intensity of the moment. You feel as if you have done much more than heal his wounds. Something deeper has taken place between the two of you, something that neither he nor you can quite name. You know it in every fiber of your being, in every tense muscle of your body. But there is no time to think further. The moment is still too fresh, too intense.
You know it's not over. You still have to wrap it up, dress it in bandages, even more closeness, even more contact, even more intimacy. The bandages are there, in the box, waiting to be used. Each gesture becomes heavier, more thoughtful, as if the moment were stretching out, hanging in the air. You open the box slowly, as if each movement were a conquest, as if you were preparing to appropriate the space, to penetrate a little more into its universe.
Your hands shiver at the thought of touching him again, but it's not nervousness. It's something much more complex, an excitement that tightens your throat, an unexpected emotion that grabs you by the throat. You slowly unroll the bandage, the rough texture of the fabric slipping under your fingers, each meter you unroll bringing you closer to him. As you wrap the bandage around his right shoulder, your body moves even closer to his. You can feel the heat of his skin, marked by the brutality of the blows, and yet, you have no desire to move away. On the contrary, you want to be there, close to him, to feel each shiver running through his skin, each vibration that seems to spring from the contact between you. You wrap the bandage slowly, your hand brushing his arm, his rough skin, marked by violence. His body tenses under your gestures, but it's not only the pain he feels. It's this closeness, this tension between you, this strange alchemy that you can't ignore.
And with each pass of the bandage, you get closer. Your body brushes against his, you feel the warmth of his chest against your arms, the muscles contracting under your fingers, each breath deepening. You see his muscles tense with pain, but also with the power of this moment. Every inch of skin you cover brings you closer to him, and to that fragile boundary between pain and desire, between suffering and shared intimacy.
You prepare to slowly descend towards his torso, a new strip of bandage in hand. The first turn of the bandage is simple, almost mechanical. But with each movement of your wrist, your fingers brush his marked skin, and you perceive, with painful acuity, the shivers that cross his muscles. Sunghoon's jaw tightens, his gaze becomes more distant, almost frozen, like a mask that he weaves around himself. Yet, you know, you feel this slight tremor under his skin, this invisible tension that hides in his arms, in the rigidity of his body. It is a pain that he hides, a silent suffering that your touch manages to awaken, and you feel it deeply, like an echo of this inner struggle that boils inside him. His torso, red and swollen, is a painful map of the violence he has suffered. Each bruise is a memory, a battle that he will never be able to erase. The bandage you apply becomes more pressing as you continue, each movement more sustained, as if you were seeking to soothe what cannot be soothed.
Your body is tense, your mind both focused and nervous, as you continue to wrap the bandage around his ribs, your fingers brushing every curve, every line of his body. There is in each brush a silent call, an invitation to go deeper, to discover areas of his skin that no one else touches. There, in this proximity, you intrude into a space that he jealously guards, protected from any outside gaze. But his muscles, despite his implacable air, react to each gesture, trembling under the pressure of your touch. This is not simply a care, it is a transgression, an imposed intimacy, a gentle but irreversible invasion.
Sunghoon says nothing. Not a word. Not a gesture. But his eyes⌠His eyes donât leave you. They stare at you, with that strange, contradictory glow, wavering between defiance and submission. A hard and cold look, but beneath which you can guess a fragility that he tries to hide. You know itâs an inner struggle, a silent war, a fight not to give in, not to let his flaws show. He wants to be unwavering, but you perceive this tiny crack in his gaze. A vulnerability that heâs not used to exposing.
Your gaze slowly descends, your body moving closer to his, every inch of you sinking into the intimacy of his space. The bandage continues to slide beneath your hands, each brush an almost imperceptible touch, but charged with a palpable energy. The rhythm of his breathing becomes heavier, deeper, as if each movement of your finger on his skin exacerbates the pain, but also the intensity of the moment. There is something heavy, inexpressible in the air between you two. A thick silence, almost tangible. The slightest breath you let escape seems to resonate in the room, and yet it makes no sound. He endures, as he always has, gritting his teeth to stifle the grunts of pain.
Then you wrap the bandages around his wrists. His hands⌠His hands, wounded, deeply scarred. The moment becomes heavier, almost charged with meaning. A shudder of recoil when your hand brushes his skin, a movement so subtle it could go unnoticed. But you know he feels it. He clenches his fists, as if to repress any manifestation of pain. Yet he submits to the pressure, to the imposed intimacy, and you continue to wrap the fabric, carefully, patiently. With each turn, your fingers brush his. The contact is weak, almost imperceptible, but still heavy, as insidious as a promise. It is more than simple care, it is a connection. A silent bond woven in the gentleness and intensity of your gestures. A contact that takes charge of everything he hides, everything he does not want to say, everything he does not dare to show.
And each wrap becomes heavier. It carries within it a strange intensity, a tension that you cannot ignore. As if this bandage, a simple object of care, becomes the invisible thread that binds you, the only authentic bond, more powerful than anything you can say or keep silent. When you finish tightening the last turn around his wrists, a strange silence settles. He looks at you. This time, he does not flee. His eyes meet yours, and in this look hides an acceptance, a silent confession that he does not have the words to express. A fragile moment, where he allows himself, finally, to be vulnerable, to give himself to what you do to him, even if he does not show it entirely.
You stand in front of Sunghoon, so close you can feel the heat of his skin, the air between you as thick as the heavy atmosphere of an impending storm. Even the slightest breath seems to resonate. A slight, almost imperceptible shudder makes the air around you shiver, as if the silence itself were holding its breath, hanging on this precise moment to see what youâre going to do or say. Thereâs a palpable tension between you of a substance that could be cut with a knife. The shadows in the room lengthen, stretching across the walls, dancing in the dim light, accentuating the eerie softness of this shared intimacy.
Your hand, hesitant at first, gently rests on the part of his torso that is not bandaged, following the contours of his tense muscles. You feel the warmth of his body through your fingers, and the more you touch him, the more you feel enchanted by this strange connection, this dark alchemy that is born between you. The scars that mark his skin, these indelible marks left by past battles, are silent memories that you explore with your fingertips. Each line, each curve tells a story that you guess without really wanting to know it, but that you feel in the intensity of this contact.
Your breathing becomes more irregular, heavier, as you feel each rough scar on his flesh under your fingers. Each tension of his muscles under your hand pushes you to come even closer, to pierce what he hides, what he does not want to show you. You are aware of each movement of his body, of each tiny shift. Your fingers descend slowly, lower, following the lines of his abs, brushing his skin marked by violence. Your heart accelerates with each gesture, each brush. This is not a simple contact, not an act of care. It is a dance, an exploration, a test. A test of his limits, but also of your own capacity to lose yourself in this connection between pain and desire. And you feel that this bond, as fragile and ephemeral as it is, brings you closer to him in a strange, irresistible way.
âDoes it still hurt?â you whisper, the words floating between you, heavy with meaning. Itâs not simply a question of whether heâs still hurting. Itâs not just a concern for his well-being. Beneath those words, thereâs something more complex, darker: a desire to test his reactions, to understand what heâs feeling through this touch, to discover what heâs hiding in the dark recesses of himself. Thereâs no worry in your voice, just curiosity, almost clinical, almost pitiless.
He doesn't answer immediately, but you feel his body react, almost imperceptibly. A subtle shudder under your fingers, a slight movement of the muscles in his torso, like a response to this pressure, to this attention. And then, slowly, his lips curve into an ironic smile, a grimace that betrays a form of defiance, of provocation. His eyes, still fixed on yours, are burning, intense, but also calculating. He's playing with you, he knows perfectly well what impact his words will have, and he doesn't waste a second in delivering them to you, weighing each syllable with cold precision.
âPain is nothing. But you⌠you are more dangerous than any wound.â
These words hit you like a punch. They hit you, slip into your mind, disrupt your thinking. Itâs a game, a trap heâs setting, and you know youâre falling for it, but you canât seem to break away. Sunghoon has perfectly understood the effect heâs having on you. Heâs playing with you, manipulating you without you being fully aware of it, testing your limits, pushing them to force you to go further. The dynamic between you has changed in that moment. Itâs no longer a simple interaction between two individuals. Itâs a silent war, a fight of looks, gestures, touches, where every movement becomes a declaration of power, a quest for a fragile and unstable balance.
Unable to help yourself, your hand moves lower, your fingers tracing invisible lines on his stomach, lingering where the scars intersect, where the pain has accumulated. Each movement becomes more sensual, more intimate, and you feel it, you know that he feels every tiny gesture, every pressure you exert. His breath quickens beneath you, his muscles tense, and you see a shiver run down his body, betraying this complex mixture of pain and pleasure that he seems to be experiencing. He is both vulnerable and dangerous, all at once, and this paradox brushes against you, bewitches you, captivates you.
âMaybe you like it, the pain,â you breathe, your smile turning into a provocative glint that slides between you like a poisonous caress, soft and captivating. Your voice, though fluid and light, carries an intensity he canât ignore. It rises like a silent invitation, the explosion of an unbearable desire hidden beneath seemingly innocent words. But these are not harmless words. They are the conflagration of a challenge, the spark of a question that you know will make him react. You want to test his limits, to plumb the depths of his soul, to feel how far he is willing to go, how much his control can withstand before everything collapses under the weight of the storm raging between you.
Your gaze fixes on him, incisive, penetrating. He can no longer look away, can no longer pretend not to understand what you are implying, what you expect from him. Sunghoon's eyes are no longer the same. A wild flame burns in his pupils, like a fire he can no longer contain. He stares at you, his gaze more intense than ever, as if he were trying to read your thoughts, to decipher every nuance of what you just said. But he knows. He knows exactly where you are going with this. And he knows, too, that if he crosses that line, there will be no going back.
Thereâs palpable tension in the air, a hold on his breath. You see his muscles tense, every fiber of his body reacting to the intensity of the moment. A silent war is playing out in his mind. And yet he doesnât move. Not yet. He waits, like a predator stalking its prey, but doesnât want to strike yet. He holds back, because he understands that this game is dangerous. But this inner struggle only intensifies the atmosphere. The room itself seems to hold its breath, suspended between control and imminent collapse.
He finally moves, and that simple gesture breaks everything. His hand rises, and in an instant, he grabs yours, taking it with such force that you almost feel the pain. His fingers close around your hand, heavy and powerful, like a burden, but also a promise. The heat of his skin burns against yours, and you feel every beat of his heart resonate in the space between you. This is not a simple touch. This is the hold of a man on a woman, of a will on the other. A touch that leaves an indelible mark, an invisible but deep mark, on your mind, on your body. Pain mixes with sweetness, submission turns into desire, and you feel lost in this intoxicating duality.
And you don't move. You let him do it, because you know that this gesture, although it is brutal, is part of the game. You move closer, so close to him that your breaths mingle, the outside world disappears. You are alone now, the two inhabitants of a bubble of pure electricity. The heat of his breath against your skin is so close to your lips that you could almost touch them. Your heart races, each beat resonating like a drum in your chest, like an echo of the tension that connects you.
The silence becomes almost unbearable, each second stretching like an eternity. Each movement, however small, seems loaded with meaning. He is there, very close, but you do not dare to move. His eyes, anchored in yours, burn with this flame that he tries to hide, a flame that he does not want to admit, but which bursts in his pupils, a truth that he can no longer hide. Their sparks collide with yours, fight in a silent exchange. You see him. You know what he feels. You know that he is about to give in.
Then his lips part just a little. A low, hoarse whisper escapes his throat. âMaybe so,â he says, but itâs not a simple answer. Itâs an admission. A confession, almost a prayer whispered into the void. His words carry a heavy weight of unspoken meanings, charged with the same tension that floats between you. Heâs just given you a part of himself heâs always hidden, a part of fragility heâs never shown to anyone. Itâs not submission, but a raw, naked truth that vibrates in the air. He says nothing else, but itâs enough. Heâs told you the essential. And you know now that everything between you has changed, that the boundary has been crossed forever.
His fingers tighten around your hand. You feel the pressure grow stronger, more urgent, almost desperate, as if he wants to make sure youâre here, present, that this tension, this connection, is real. He wants you here, he wants you now, but not just in a physical way. Sunghoon wants you to be anchored in this moment, to be engraved in you as much as you are in him. You feel the warmth of his hand against yours, but also the pain of his grip. Itâs a bittersweet pressure, like a warning.
At that moment, everything changes. Time seems to stand still, the sounds of the outside world fade away, and there's only the two of you left, trapped in this silent dance. You realize then that this is no longer a simple game. It's not just a provocation, an exploration of desire. It's a test, a test of its limits, a test of your own ability to lose yourself in this strange connection, this fascination that mixes pain and pleasure. It's a point of no return. And you have no desire to go back.
Your heart, like a frantic drum, is pounding so hard in your chest that you feel like itâs going to burst, each beat faster, more disordered, than itâs ever been. Adrenaline pulses through your veins, but itâs a strange feeling, a mixture of excitement and tension unlike anything youâve ever felt, as if every fiber of your being is stretched by an invisible thread. The air around you seems to be charged with a palpable energy, a gentle but piercing electricity that electrifies the space between you, drawing you in with a magnetic force that you can neither ignore nor suppress.
Sunghoon stands there, so close, and yet every movement of his body seems torn by a pain he tries to hide, a suffering that goes beyond physical pain, something deeper, anchored in every gesture, every breath he takes. You see his tense features, the stiffness in his shoulders, as if every second spent with you is an internal struggle, and yet, something inside him pushes him to stay, not to turn away. His wounds, visible and invisible, resonate like an echo of a war he wages within himself, a silent battle, and you know it will not have an easy end. Against all odds, you feel drawn to this darkness that consumes him. It is an unhealthy curiosity, but also an irrepressible need to understand the part of him that he hides, to reach this depth that he hides so skillfully under an icy surface.
A part of you feels hopelessly captivated by his defenselessness, this raw vulnerability that he only lets glimpse on rare occasions, but these moments⌠these moments, they are the ones that plunge you into a whirlwind of conflicting feelings. You want to touch him, to cross this distance he tries to maintain, to show him that you know, that you feel, that you understand this pain that boils inside him. It is like a chain that twists around your heart, forcing you to move forward despite the fear, despite the doubts.
The invisible boundary between you becomes harder and harder to bear, an invisible pressure that crushes everything around you. You feel it, this tension between you two, more tangible than any words. The moment seems to stretch out in exquisite slowness, and you know that you no longer have a choice, you must move forward. Each breath seems suspended in time, and you let yourself be guided by an inexplicable force, an irresistible attraction that pushes you to cross this threshold.
Your body leans towards him slowly, as if each movement is a struggle against the inevitable. You hear his breath, becoming more panting now, heavier, and each second becomes an eternity, each beat of your heart an echo that reminds you how close Sunghoon is, how he occupies the center of everything you feel. You brush your face against his neck, your lips brushing the tender, smooth skin, yet marked by his inner struggle. The smell of sweat, of dried blood, a raw and intoxicating scent, rises between you, and everything that exists around you seems to evaporate. Nothing else matters. Only this proximity, this strange connection that binds you in this suspended moment. The outside world slowly disappears, as if everything is paused, frozen in a silent dance.
You feel yourself shivering, a heat that invades your body as you brush against him. Each sensation becomes more intense, more vivid. Your breath becomes deeper, slower, as you smell his scent more and more present, invasive. The mixture of sweat, pain, adrenaline and raw virility that emanates from him consumes you, envelops you. The brightness of his eyes, dark, but also full of something more⌠heavier, more elusive, hits you, and you know he feels the same way. Every part of you awakens, every desire buried in the recesses of your mind awakens with the force of a wild fire. This is no longer a simple physical attraction. It is as if your emotions are mixed with his, drawing you into a whirlwind of sensations that you can no longer ignore.
Your heart races even faster as you say the words, each syllable escaping your mouth slowly, your voice softer, more husky, like a whisper, an invitation: âMaybe you need this⌠maybe you need someone to make you feel something real, something raw, something painful.â Your words slide between you like a caress, but a sharp caress, one that tears at the last bulwarks of his control. Theyâre charged with this murky, dangerous promise, and you know theyâre hitting him hard, hitting him where heâs vulnerable.
You watch his reactions, fascinated by the way his body tenses more, like a rope ready to break. He closes his eyes for a moment, and in that silence, you know he's letting your words sink into his mind, accepting this idea, accepting what you're offering him and what you expect in return. When he opens his eyes again, everything has changed. There's no more restraint, no more facade. His gaze is darker, almost bestial, but also torn, broken. In his eyes, there's a wild desire, an urgency he can no longer hide. The walls he's built are starting to crack, and something inside you burns even brighter at the sight of this fragility that's revealed.
Sunghoon whispers, his voice hoarse, thick with desire and desperation, âI donât need someone⌠I need you.â The words hit you like a hammer blow. They resonate in your bones, in your mind. Theyâre both a promise and a confession, a raw truth he throws in your face. Thereâs no turning back, no escape. The reality between you becomes hotter, more present, each moment suspended in a tension thatâs both heavy and exquisite.
In the silence that follows, everything collapses, everything transforms into a suspended moment, where your own emotions ignite. Your mind drowns in this intense heat, and you move forward again, this time without any more restraint, your nose brushing the warm skin of his neck, your breath burning his skin. The smell of him intoxicates you. It sucks you in, consumes you, and you lose yourself in this moment where everything, absolutely everything, seems possible. This desire that you feel, this irrepressible need for him, overwhelms you. It is no longer a simple attraction, it is a call. A call towards an abyss that you had never considered, but which, now, seems inevitable.
The touch of his hand in yours, barely perceptible at first, gradually becomes an anchor. A light grip, but so firm at the same time. His fingers slowly wrap around your palm, and a soft, almost bewitching warmth spreads through your veins. There is no rush in this gesture, but each second that his fingers remain suspended on the surface of your skin seems to prolong an instant already frozen in time. A breath escapes your lips, too light for him to notice, but enough to make you understand that a part of you is already beginning to tense, to tense in spite of yourself.
Youâve never felt this. A feeling of being suspended, of floating between two worlds. On one side, thereâs you, the person youâve always been: cautious, reserved, whole in your ability to protect yourself, to keep your heart safe from any intrusion. On the other, thereâs Sunghoon. Heâs looking at you, touching you, making a tangle of feelings arise in you that you canât quite grasp. A shiver runs through you as you feel his fingers, but itâs not simply physical. No, itâs something that passes through you from the inside, a strange warmth, a sudden wave that makes you sway slightly.
Itâs not a moment of gentle caress. Itâs not a simple gesture of comfort. Itâs much more than that. His fingers on your skin act like a key in a mechanism you hadnât even suspected. An invisible lock opens inside you, and everything you had carefully hidden behind walls of ice begins to melt under the warmth of his hold. Itâs as simple as that: he touches you, and you feel vulnerable. Every fiber of your body reacts to this contact as if a firework had just exploded inside you. You shudder, an electric shock runs through you, but itâs a delicious shiver, almost agonizing in its sweetness.
And yet, you donât want to move. You donât want to break this fragile balance. Your breathing quickens for no apparent reason, as if your body is starting to get ahead of your will. You feel his thumb slide lightly over the skin of your hand, in an almost hypnotic dance. There are no words, no promises. Just this gesture, this silent contact. Yet, itâs as if your whole being is screaming at you that there is much more than this simple touch. This is not a simple contact. This is a connection. A tension. An invitation.
Around you, there is no noise. No whispers, no distractions. The world seems to have frozen, as if it is waiting for you to react, to respond to what is happening between the two of you. You try to pull yourself together, to regain control of your thoughts, but it is as if you are drowning in the depth of his gaze. His eyes, black and deep, do not leave you. They scrutinize you, but not in the way you expect. No, it is as if he is trying to decipher every thought, every emotion that you try to hide. Sunghoon does not let you escape. He holds you in this silent embrace, that of his gaze and his gesture. And you cannot escape. Sunghoon is there, and he sees you. He sees you, really.
You try to look away, to look for an escape in the space around you, but you are drawn to Sunghoon like a magnet. You feel like prey, but in a strange way, it doesn't scare you. On the contrary, it is a call. A challenge. He stares at you, without blinking, without letting the slightest emotion show, except for the gleam that shines in his eyes. And you, you feel destabilized, lost in this gaze like in a calm and yet devouring ocean. It is almost unbearable. But you don't want him to let you go. No, deep down, you know that this vulnerability, this exposure, is what you want. What you seek, without really knowing why.
A heavy silence falls. The sound of your heartbeat echoes in your ears. Sunghoon is there, very close, and you can't escape his hold. And suddenly, without warning, he whispers. His voice is hoarse, as if each word is a burden he can no longer keep to himself. "I need you." Three words. Simple. Precise. But they fall on you like a shock. You try to push them away, but they slip into you, infiltrate your most secret thoughts. Need . This word vibrates in you, it resonates in your mind, then in your body. It invades you, takes you by surprise. The weight of his statement almost makes you falter. And yet, deep down, you know that he is telling the truth. It is not a question. It is not a plea. It is a certainty. A truth he doesn't even need to justify. And you know he expects something from you.
A spark of defiance lights your gaze. You have no intention of giving him this satisfaction, this ease. You want to resist, you want to keep some control, some semblance of power in this situation where everything seems to be collapsing around you. But the words that pass your lips, although spoken in an almost imperceptible breath, only succeed in betraying your own uncertainty. "Do you really think you need me?" The question hangs in the air, but it is tinged with doubt. A doubt that you do not want to acknowledge, but which is there, implacable.
His eyes harden, but he doesn't answer right away. He lets the silence stretch, like a tight rope ready to snap. You see him clench his jaw slightly, a muscle twitching with the effort of holding something back. He fights the urge to answer right away.
âI know what Iâm saying,â he whispers, his voice low and gravelly, almost echoing in the air like a growl from the depths of his soul. His words seem to slither around you, slide over your skin, infiltrate every corner of your being. Itâs not a simple affirmation. No. Itâs a promise, a silent and threatening certainty, which seems to mark the beginning of a game whose full extent you have yet to grasp. âBut you⌠are you ready to hear it?â
At that moment, you feel your chest tighten. The question hits your heart like an invisible punch, each syllable colliding with the walls of your resistance. A wave of heat floods your cheeks, but itâs not embarrassment, not at all. Itâs much more complex than that. Itâs as if something inside you is starting to move, as if an invisible thread is stretching and snapping at the same time. The heat rising inside you is like a fire, burning and uncontrollable. Itâs not a simple physical reaction, a discomfort in the face of a strange or uncomfortable situation. No, itâs much deeper. Itâs the feeling of losing your footing, of finding yourself on the edge between temptation and danger.
His eyes bore into yours, relentless, and you knew there was more than defiance in his gaze. There was a silent promise, a promise to shake everything. You felt it deeply, this conviction that he was ready to take you to the end of this path. All that was left between you was a question of power. And you knew, deep down, that that power belonged to Sunghoon. Not you. But maybe that power wasnât what you expected.
You want to answer, to challenge him in turn, to prove to him that you are not weak. But just as you prepare to open your mouth, another realization dawns on you. It is obvious, a truth that flashes through you: you do not want to answer. You do not want to fight. What burns inside you is not a simple desire for control. No, what consumes you is the desire to dive, to lose yourself in this embrace of power, to no longer be the one who must always control everything, but the one who lets herself go with the wave, the one who lets herself be swallowed up.
A spark of defiance shines in your eyes, but it is veiled by a heavy realization: this is no longer about winning, about proving anything. No. This is about succumbing. And in that moment, you realize that you are ready to do it. Ready to lose everything, ready to accept what he offers you, even if you know the fall will be brutal. The thought hits you in the heart, like a bullet shot in the chest, but it is a bullet that you want to receive. Because you know, deep down, that this is all part of the challenge. And you want to play it.
The heat intensifies. Itâs almost a pain, a burning in your veins. âWhat if I bring you more than you can bear?â The words come out of your mouth, as low and soft as the wind, but with a surprising clarity. They float in the air, heavy with meaning, full of that fragile and inevitable promise. Like a call into the void, a challenge you know he wonât be able to ignore. You see it in his eyes, the glimmer of curiosity and desire thatâs born there. You see that glow transform, take on a darker, more intriguing hue. Heâs only one step behind you now. Heâs already following you, without knowing it, into this whirlwind youâve just released.
The change in Sunghoonâs eyes is immediate. You see it. You feel it. Itâs no longer a mere provocation, a threat. No, itâs a pact. Heâs already in it, ready to lose himself just as much as you are. And you know, with a frightening certainty, that nothing will ever go back to the way it was before. Youâve seen that look change, darken. The sparkle that used to shine in his eyes is gone. Instead, thereâs a kind of heartbreak, an inner struggle playing out inside him. He knows youâve just crossed the line. And he wants to follow you down that path.
âI yearn for this,â he whispers, his voice raspy, a growl that shakes the air. The words vibrate against your chest, resonate through every fiber of your body, and you know, in that moment, that everything has changed. This is no longer a battle of wills. Youâre already losing control together, falling into this madness that neither of you can stop. What youâve feared all this time, what youâve avoided, is now inevitable. Youâve crossed the line.
You don't hesitate anymore. Your body moves instinctively, moving closer to him, like a magnet attracting hot metal. Your breath brushes his face, a shared warmth, so close, so intimate, that you can almost taste his skin. Everything becomes blurred. The space between you no longer exists. You are there, so close to him, so vulnerable, but so eager. Your lips brush his skin. It's soft at first, almost shy, but the desire grows inside you. You want more. You want this feeling of contact to intensify, for this moment to widen, for you to come to madness. The kiss, almost imperceptible at first, becomes more pressing, more urgent, more insatiable.
His hands reach out to you, grabbing you with a wild fervor, as if he were afraid of losing you. You feel him twitch beneath your fingers, his muscles reacting to every gesture, every brush. The heat rises again, almost unbearable, a fever that you share with him. His lips find yours, and the sweetness turns into a devouring need, an urgency that you can no longer ignore. He responds to your kiss with such intensity that you are out of breath. His arms tighten around you, pressing you against him, and you feel the moment becoming more pressing, more raw, as if you were one entity.
He groans, a low, guttural sound, a silent cry of ecstasy and pain, as his hands slide into your hair, pulling you a little closer to him. Everything becomes a blur. Every sensation increases tenfold, every touch, every movement becomes a burn that consumes you. His body against yours, every breath that intertwines with yours, the kiss that becomes crazier, more desperate. The outside world disappears. There is only him, only this need that invades you, only this desire to lose you together in the unknown.
âYouâre already breaking me,â Sunghoon finally says, his voice weak, cracked between pleasure and pain. Itâs not a complaint. No, itâs an observation, a truth you share. And then you know that you have power. A power that no words could truly express. A power over him, over you, over this moment. You are the one who guides the dance, the one who leads this abyss with a new certainty. He is there, ready to do anything to follow you, trembling under your control. And you know it. There is no going back. You are both already engulfed in this moment. And you have no more doubts. You are ready to dive.
You pull back slightly, just enough to look at him, to observe what he feels, to see in his eyes that silent submission. âThen show me,â you breathe, your voice trembling, not with fear, but with impatience, an insatiable eagerness. Itâs a challenge, but itâs also an invitation. A call. And you know heâs going to answer. He has no other choice. Because deep down, Sunghoon is as lost as you are.
Sunghoon leans towards you slowly, his gaze piercing and determined. Every inch he fills seems to stretch the air around you, an invisible but palpable pressure forming and encircling you, a vice of intensity. The space between you tightens with each breath, and you feel the tension growing, invading every part of your being, making you almost immobile under his grip. There is no more room for any thought, any distraction; there is only him, you, and this irresistible attraction that intensifies with each moment. His gaze, burning, insistent, does not leave your lips, and the air between you seems to charge with an almost tangible electricity, an energy that brushes the line between the possible and the forbidden. It is as if the whole world has suddenly evaporated, leaving only the two of you, alone, linked in this inescapable attraction, as if nothing else matters anymore. You are aware of the weight of his gaze, heavy, searching, each movement of your body becoming an enigma that he prepares to solve, a silent challenge that he wants to understand, to decipher.
The space between you seems to shrink with every breath, with every movement he makes, slowly, with that calculated slowness that makes your heart beat faster. When his lips finally brush yours, itâs an electric shock that sets you ablaze. Itâs not a simple touch, no, itâs an invitation, an instinctive act, almost wild. The first few seconds are soft, almost shy, but in that softness lies an intensity that you feel immediately, like a repressed desire ready to burst. The heat of his skin burns you, and suddenly, you feel more alive than ever, every cell in your body responding to that kiss, as if your entire being were waking up.
Your heart races, each beat resonating in your chest, each quiver passing through your lips makes you shiver. His hands rest on the back of your neck, a light but firm pressure that pulls you a little closer to him, as if each centimeter of distance is torture. He guides you without a word, his hand sliding into your hair with an unexpected softness, but each gesture is also a subtle affirmation of his power. He wants to mark you, to anchor you in this moment, to make you understand without a word that he is there, that he already controls you, all the while always searching for something deeper, more intimate.
He gently tilts your head, a natural but meaningful movement. Your body follows, subjected to this invisible but powerful pressure. You feel exposed, vulnerable, but also excited by this strange sensation that rises in you, a nervous shiver running through your skin. Sunghoon takes his time, each gesture is measured, each caress unbearably slow. And it is precisely this slowness that makes the heat rise between you. You know what he is looking for, you know what he wants, but you also feel that you are losing control.
His lips find yours again, and this time there is no hesitation. His kiss becomes more urgent, more insistent. Sunghoon tastes you, explores you, your mouth mingling with his in an intoxicating dance. He pushes his tongue between your lips, discovering the softness of your mouth, but with a palpable determination, as if he intends to devour you, to make you his own. It is a shock, a shiver of desire that passes through your body in an instant, and you find yourself responding, letting your own tongue slide against his in a silent but explosive exchange. Each movement becomes more urgent, more desperate, as if the two of you are rushing to fill an unbearable void, as if this moment is your last chance to seize it all.
You feel like the space between you no longer exists, like the world around you has disappeared. There is only his lips, his tongue, his skin against yours. The sensation is devouring, you feel engulfed by it. Each touch gives rise to a shiver, each movement generates a wave of heat that spreads through your body. Sunghoon pushes you even more against him, his arms squeezing your waist, and you feel captured, a slave to this desire that invades you. You don't even want to resist, you don't want to. You let yourself go, letting yourself be overwhelmed by this kiss that consumes you. His hands slide over your skin, caressing your neck, your shoulders, a gentle but firm pressure that makes you feel both vulnerable and intensely desired.
Your breath quickens with each caress, each press of his lips against yours. You feel a growing heat inside you, an irresistible desire that makes your heart beat faster and faster. His hands move slowly, exploring every inch of your skin, drawing you into this whirlwind of sensations, passion and pleasure. His fingers brush your back, your waist, and you feel shivers run through your body. Each movement, each touch, each breath is amplified, each sensation increasing tenfold. You are aware of the proximity of his body, of the heat emanating from him, of the scent of his skin, and you feel that you are no longer in control, that you are slowly losing yourself in this flood of sensations that invades you.
Sunghoon becomes bolder, more pressing, his lips moving over your skin with an urgency that makes you shudder. He wants you, and you know it. But this isnât mere possession, no. This is a shared desire, a fusion of bodies and souls that consumes you, makes you forget yourself. Sunghoon explores every corner of your mouth, every part of you, sucking you into this spiral of growing desire. And you respond to every touch, every pressure of his lips, every movement of his tongue. Your body responds instinctively, letting you be guided in this dance where he takes up more and more space, where he makes you his with every movement, every gesture, every caress.
The dynamic between you intensifies, intertwining in a captivating ballet of power and desire, a dance where you feel both the object of his appetite and the source of his torment. Each glance exchanged is a silent promise, an invisible thread that connects you in a dangerous game. His presence is irresistible, like a constant heat that grows more and more pressing. You know, deep down, that you have never been so close to sinking, to giving in to the inexorable attraction that unites you, but a part of you, a primal instinct, still resists. You feel that this moment could overwhelm you, leave you broken, lost in the shadow of his hold. And yet, you draw closer, drawn like prey, without really knowing who is hunting who.
The kiss he offers you is a hold, a demand that shakes you to your core. There is no more tenderness in his gesture, just an insatiable thirst to merge, to possess you. His tongue, insistent and searching your mouth with a savagery that is both brutal and exquisite, explores every corner as if he were trying to unearth something deeply buried inside you. Each shiver that runs through your body seems to awaken a part of you that you had forgotten, a devouring pleasure that mixes with the pain of your helplessness. Each gesture, each pressure of his lips becomes a declaration of domination and desire. It is not just a kiss, it is a fight, a war and a reconciliation at the same time, where each breath, each movement draws you further into this spiral.
Your heart, trapped in this senseless kiss, races in your chest, beating so hard that you feel like it's going to explode. It beats to the frantic rhythm of the dance, as if your bodies were one and the same being, guided by a tempo that escapes all logic, an intoxicating and merciless melody. You cling to him, instinctively, feeling your legs wobble beneath you, as if you were floating, suspended between ecstasy and falling. You feel both out of control and irresistibly drawn, trapped between the dizziness of desire and the fear of losing everything.
When his lips finally pull away from yours, you are left panting, an abysmal emptiness invading your being. An uncontrollable shiver runs through your body. The anticipation, burning and unbearable, devours you, every fiber of your being calling for his return, seeking that warmth, that intensity that consumes you. It is as if you are a flickering flame, ready to go out without him, but he does not give in right away. His hand finds your waist again, exerting a gentle but assured pressure, and his hot breath becomes more intimate, closer. Then Sunghoon returns to you, his tongue finding yours with an insatiable hunger. He leaves you no choice but to abandon yourself, to give in to him. You have become an extension of himself, your will erased by the power of his desire. Each shiver that runs through you marks you, an indelible signature that he inscribes in you with each contact.
The world around you dissolves in this heat, carried away by the intensity of this bond you share. A dizziness invades you, and you are no longer sure who you are in this fiery dance. Are you the mistress or the victim of this union? It is a new sensation, a perverse pleasure of being both desired and possessed, loved and broken. This mixture of intensity, ecstasy and vulnerability makes you lose all bearings. You feel powerful and fragile at the same time, bewitched by the web of his desire.
Sunghoon becomes a reassuring and devastating force at the same time. His kiss is not a simple exchange, but a bond that unites you in a new, frightening and fascinating way. His hands, greedy, rest on your skin as if he were exploring you, seeking to understand you, to conquer you. You lose yourself in this whirlwind of sensations, in the complex alchemy of pleasure and pain, desire and anguish. His breath panting against your skin, his lips pressing against you, each gesture is an exquisite torture, a complete abandonment, a total commitment to this journey of no return.
When he finally pulls away slightly, you barely realize how much time has passed. His face is marked by the passion that binds you, his lips still swollen, shiny with the echo of your kisses. His dark eyes stare at you with such intensity that you have the impression that he is tearing apart the last layers of your soul, seeking to pierce all your secrets, to discover each of your desires. The silence that settles between you is heavy, almost palpable, each breath, each shudder creating a spark in the air, charged with this invisible but obvious electricity.
Sunghoon places a possessive hand on your waist, holding you close to him in a way that is both protective and assertive, as if to remind you how much you belong to him. His heart beats hard, irregular, synchronizing with yours in a wild dance that vibrates the space around you. Each shudder, each breath that escapes your lips seems to excite him more. And in this whirlwind of emotions, you lose yourself, carried away by this burning desire. You know that you abandon yourself to him, body and soul, with no way back.
Your hand slides slowly along his shoulder, desperate to catch your breath. Each touch seems to amplify the tension between you, each movement becomes a delicate dance, a game of seduction where the line between control and loss of self becomes more and more blurred. He stares at you intensely, his eyes deep into yours, an almost animalistic glow illuminating his gaze, a glow that makes you shiver, overwhelms you with a sudden warmth. âYou are so pretty, princess,â he murmurs, his voice hoarse, almost a growl, âbut I need more⌠so much more.â His words resonate in you like a haunting melody that you can no longer ignore. They awaken an intense desire in you, a desire to abandon yourself entirely, to offer everything to him, to lose yourself in this devouring passion that seems to want to encompass every part of your being.
His fingers brush your skin with an almost calculated slowness, as if he wanted to mark you, to imbue you with his presence. They slide along your waist, going lower, resting on your hips, and the warmth of his palm against your skin makes you shiver. He grabs you firmly, a gesture that is not gentle, but which makes you feel, deeply, that he wants to associate you with him, that he wants to possess every fiber of your being. He pushes you gently, but with a possessive determination, onto the couch, installing you in the position he desires, forcing you to look at him, to feel him, to understand that you can no longer escape him. He kneels in front of you, and in this suspended moment, everything seems to dissipate. There is only the two of you left, drowned in an intimate bubble, saturated with desire, where each movement, each breath creates an intensity that invades you. The pressure of his hands, the warmth of his gaze... All this reminds you that you are no longer mistress of anything, that everything, absolutely everything, depends on him.
You want to resist him, to regain some semblance of control, but something inside you urges you to stay there, to submit to the electric sensation that invades you. Your breathing becomes more irregular, each breath more gasping, as his words, almost a plea, echo in your mind: âBe my medicine⌠I need you so much.â His gaze doesnât leave yours, and you know heâs talking about more than just your body. Itâs not simply a physical attraction, but a desperate quest. Heâs looking for an escape, a refuge in the sea of ââhis own torment, and you are that light in his darkness, the one he desires more than anything. A part of you feels irremediably linked to him, as if his desire has inscribed an indelible mark on you.
His fingers now play with the elastic of your pajamas, lifting them gently, as if to test your limits, his gestures full of tenderness but also of a palpable provocation. Each brush of his skin against yours makes you shiver, each movement seems to increase the desire in you, a wave of heat that overwhelms you. Your heart beats faster, a jerky breath, as the heat rises in you, uncontrollable. You sigh, a bittersweet sensation invading your being, as you find yourself at his mercy. You instinctively lift your hips to help him remove your garment, and the moment becomes unreal, almost suspended in time. The touch of his hands on your skin makes you lose all sense of yourself, and your body reacts without you being able to control it. The thrill of anticipation overwhelms you, as you lose yourself in the warmth of this shared moment.
When he removes your panties, his eyes shine with a devouring greed, a possessive glow that makes a wave of vulnerability rise in you. You see the raw passion that drives him, this sweet madness that drives him to want everything about you, to know everything, to see everything. âDonât hide my view, Y/n, I want to see everything⌠of you.â His voice is a hungry whisper, almost a prayer, and as he gently spreads your thigh, he discovers your nudity with an almost obsessive intensity. His eyes rest on every curve of your body, searching for every detail like a painter admiring his work. He seems to swallow every inch of you, and this attention, this fixation, makes you feel vulnerable, but in a way youâve never known, as if this moment, this look, will mark you forever.
âSheâs the prettiest cat Iâve ever seen, princess,â Sunghoon whispers, his raspy voice slipping through the oppressive silence of the room like a gentle, yet relentless blade. He doesnât speak, he slides each word, each syllable, as if heâs trying to mark you, to sink that sentence into your skin. His dark, abysmal black eyes donât just stare at you, they devour you. You feel your soul shrink under that intense gaze, every part of you swallowed up in that obsession, that insatiable desire.
Your whole body reacts to his presence, but itâs not the simple discomfort of being observed. No, itâs something more primal, more visceral. You are nothing more than an offered silhouette, stripped not only of your clothes, but also of all your protections, all your barriers. He hasnât simply made you take off your pants, heâs stripped you of your dignity, of your independence. In this room, you are nothing more than a body, a prey, a thing laid bare down to your soul, under the relentless force of his gaze. Every inch of your skin seems to burn under the bite of his attention, every fiber of your being screams at you to flee, but he is there, he is everywhere, and you have nowhere to go.
Sunghoon doesnât just look at you, he devours you, scanning you from top to bottom, every detail of your being subject to his judgment. The heat emanating from you becomes more burning, a diffuse wave that seems to radiate from your belly, rising in you like a raging sea. And yet, you canât help but shudder under his gaze, to tense in spite of yourself, like a taut thread ready to break. Your breathing becomes shorter, more panting, the air thickening under the intensity of his gaze and his presence. Each inhalation seems to burn your throat, and each exhalation is an effort, as if the simple act of breathing became a fight against this irrepressible desire that grows within you.
His warm breath brushes your skin, sliding over your thigh, then over your private parts, that area you would like to keep secret, but which offers itself to him without resistance. He doesn't need to touch you to create this burning sensation. The simple touch of his breath is enough to awaken a destabilizing reaction in you. An uncontrollable shiver runs through your body, a shiver of pleasure and terror, leaving you vulnerable, exposed in a position you had never imagined occupying. It is a gentle burn, almost unbearable in its insistence. Each second seems to stretch under this intangible caress, pulling you little by little towards an abyss from which you don't know whether you want to escape or throw yourself headlong into it.
His hand then slides over your knee, light, almost undetectable. But you feel it, you feel it, each movement of his fingers against your skin is like an electric shock. His fingers are slightly rough, but it is this roughness that makes the contact even more intense, more sensual. He traces a lazy line on the inside of your thigh, and each centimeter traveled makes you shiver more. He is in no hurry, he savors each moment, each gesture, as if you were just an object that he could manipulate as he pleases. The contact is so delicate, so subtle, that it becomes torture, a gentle, insidious torture, which slowly builds up inside you. A dull tension is born deep in your stomach, unbearable, like a rope stretched to the limit, ready to break under the pressure.
But Sunghoon doesn't hurry. He finally moves, but so slowly, as if he has all the time in the world. As if your impatience is just a game, a game that he takes cruel pleasure in. He feels that you are burning, that he is consuming you little by little, and he feeds on this impatience that devours you from the inside. His lips, finally, land on the inside of your thigh, and it is as if the whole world disappears in this burning caress. The kiss is heavy with meaning, almost too intense to be simply a kiss. It leaves behind a trail of heat, an indelible mark on your skin, but also on your mind. It is not an innocent kiss, it is a promise. A promise that you already know is dangerous, but that you wait for in spite of yourself. It is a disguised threat, a threat that you feel in every fiber of your being. You know what is coming, you feel the storm rising in your belly, but it is too late to back down.
You want to twist, to run away, to escape this unbearable tension, but his hands, firm and possessive, rest on your hips, pinning you to the spot. He holds you there, keeping you in this imposed immobility, as if you no longer had the right to move, as if your freedom no longer had any meaning. He dominates you with his gaze, his gestures, and you are powerless, trapped by the force of his desire and by the invisible web that he weaves around you.
And time seems to have frozen, but the heat continues to rise, invading every part of your being, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. And you're not even sure if you want to jump, or if you want it to slowly push you into the abyss.
When his tongue finally leaves his lips and rests on your skin, brushing the soft surface of your thigh, you feel as if time has stopped. Your breath catches in a stifled moan, as if this simple contact has just broken the invisible barrier between desire and reality. This is not a simple kiss; it is an explosion of pure pleasure, a shiver that runs down your body, insinuating itself into every fiber of your skin, leaving you both troubled and exhilarated. This contact is both gentle and brutal, a caress that gives birth to a delicious pain, an explosive mix of pleasure and malice. He does not rush, on the contrary, he takes his time. Each movement of his tongue is an invisible drawing traced on your skin, slowly exploring every inch of your flesh with an exquisite slowness, almost cruel.
Every lick he gives is perfectly controlled, calculated, but no less sensual. His pauses are deliberate, a heavy silence that makes you languish. And yet, these suspended moments themselves become a form of domination, a silent but undeniable power. He holds you there, between pleasure and expectation, forcing you to submit to his total mastery, at this moment when you are nothing more than a body, a sensation, a response to his gestures.
His gaze fixed on you, unwavering, is almost more powerful than his gestures. Itâs not just a look, itâs a sharp weapon that infiltrates you, capturing every shudder of your body, every reaction, every uncontrolled breath that escapes your lips. He scrutinizes you with an almost possessive intensity, analyzing every tremor, every movement, as if your body were a riddle that heâs trying to solve. He sees everything: the way you arch your back, instinctively seeking to offer your skin more to his lips, the muffled sounds, the moans that escape in spite of yourself, like music that only he can direct. Thereâs nothing in you that he doesnât control, nothing that he doesnât silently claim.
Finally, his lips reach the place where you are most vulnerable. The softness that envelops them at first deceives you, because beneath this apparent tenderness hides an inflexible determination. Sunghoon explores the contours of your intimacy with an unreal slowness, an almost inhuman patience. Your head tilts back under the intensity of what he provokes. You feel yourself writhing under him, but it is not pain - it is the effect of an unbearable tension that rises in you, stronger and stronger. His tongue slides against you, at first with an almost timid lightness, before asserting itself, with such precision that it creates waves of pleasure in you that overwhelm you, opening you up a little more with each movement. He traces slow and measured circles, each gesture a challenge, each passage of his tongue a promise of deeper ecstasy. And you, your body reacts before you are even aware of it, each muscle tense, each breath becoming a silent cry that transforms into a broken, almost animal melody.
âLook at me, princess,â he whispers suddenly, his voice deep and commanding. A whisper that vibrates your soul and resonates in your insides, a demand that is both demanding and possessive. Your eyelids, heavy with the weight of pleasure, open slowly, your eyes seeking to meet his. And when they meet, you see this glint that takes your breath away. There is a dark satisfaction in his gaze, an almost unhealthy pride that brushes against you, penetrates you. This glint of triumph in his eyes gives birth to an even rawer vulnerability in you, a feeling of absolute submission that you had not expected to feel.
Sunghoon's movements become bolder, more assertive. His tongue delves deeper, seeking to explore you even further, while his thumb, firm, joins in the game, brushing your clitoris with a light but determined movement. A shiver runs through your body, your legs tense under the assault of raw pleasure that invades every cell of your skin. You feel yourself wavering, on the edge of the abyss, but unable to turn away from it. Each new wave that rises within you is more intense, more devastating, and yet, Sunghoon does not give you the respite of a break. He always pushes, with a gentle but irresistible insistence, digging a little deeper into this delicious pain that you cannot escape.Â
Your breath becomes more and more erratic, your breathing broken, each moan echoing the intensity of what he makes you feel. You try to grab onto something, your hands reaching out to find an anchor, and it is in his hair that you end up clinging, your fingers digging into the hold like a last hope of regaining some illusion of control. But you know, deep down, that it is only an illusion. You are already at his mercy, your movements dictated by his gestures, your will erased by his power.
âYou want more, princess?â Sunghoonâs voice, hot and mocking, caresses your skin like a promise of forbidden pleasure. He doesnât even wait for your answer, he immediately resumes, his mouth closing over your pussy, his tongue delving deeper, more furiously, while his thumb presses more firmly, playing with your body like an instrument he knows better than anyone. A devastating wave of pleasure washes over you, completely overwhelming you, leaving you trembling, helpless, unable to control the uncontrollable moans that escape your lips.
You are nothing more than an object in his hands, a puppet, every thread of your being tense under his gestures. The heat takes hold of you, becomes unbearable, devouring, and yet, you have only one desire: for him to continue. Each pressure, each lick of his tongue brings you a little closer to ecstasy, but also to the breaking point, that moment when you are nothing more than a cry, a sigh, a total surrender.
âSunghoonâŚâ you whisper, your voice cracking, almost strangled by the tension of the moment. Itâs a silent plea, a plea for him to stop playing with your nerves, to finally let you give in. But he doesnât answer. He doesnât just not answer, he intensifies the assault on your senses. He redoubles his attention, his warm tongue finally curling around your most sensitive spot, exploring that intimate fold with an almost inhuman precision. A scream escapes your throat, a pure, primal, raw sound that you donât recognize as your own. You feel like youâre being suffocated by pleasure, completely consumed.
He devours you. Literally. His lips, soft but full of undeniable possessiveness, close around you. He sucks gently, with perfect pressure, then releases, in a hypnotic rhythm. Each movement, each aspiration makes you gradually lose all sense of time and space. It's as if the whole world only exists in the moment he touches you, when he makes you his. His licks are silent promises, mute declarations of his domination, of his power. His mouth explores, savors, consumes, as if it were trying to engrave each sensation in your skin, in your memory, in his.
You try to hold yourself back, to stem the rising tide of pleasure that threatens to overwhelm you. But itâs futile. Your legs start to shake, your breaths become erratic, jerky, as a burning heat builds in your belly, radiating, spreading through every fiber of your body. Your mind wanders in a haze of desire, but youâre still fully aware of every movement of his tongue, every pressure of his hands that hold you in place, firm but delicate. His thumbs trace lazy circles on the inside of your thighs, skimming your skin with exquisite slowness, as if heâs trying to quell the fire heâs lighting inside you, while also exacerbating the heat thatâs already burning beneath your skin.
âYou taste amazing,â he suddenly murmurs against your skin, his voice muffled by your pussy. The simple admission makes you lose your footing. Itâs like every word, every breath he lets out against you, adds a layer of shivers to your spine. A wave of pure pleasure courses through you, wrenching a moan from you, a sound that speaks to the way heâs breaking you, the way heâs making you succumb to his will.
Sunghoon's movements become bolder, more urgent. His tongue sinks deeper, exploring every fold, every curve of your flesh with an almost animalistic greed, an urgent need to discover you, to apprehend you entirely. Sunghoon is both tender and insatiable, seeking to make you lose all rationality. His eyes then rise to you, seeking your gaze. When your eyes finally meet, you see in his eyes an intensity that makes you waver, a raw, deep, inextinguishable desire. He wants to see every tremor, every shudder, every sigh that betrays your pleasure. He wants to seize everything, savor everything, as if each reaction were a personal victory.
Your body reacts without you having to think, arching instinctively, pressing your pelvis against his face, desperate to finally find that climax he makes you wait for, that he makes you desire with every movement of his tongue. Your hand tightens in his hair, your fingers gripping his thick locks tighter, tugging them lightly, but not to pull him away, no, to anchor him even deeper against you. He groans in response, a low, raspy, almost animalistic sound that vibrates against your flesh, a sound that resonates within you, sending even stronger waves of pleasure through your body.
âYes⌠there⌠donât stop,â you gasp, your voice trembling, almost unrecognizable, full of pleading and need. But he has no intention of stopping. On the contrary, he redoubles his efforts, his tongue dancing with inhuman precision. He alternates between slow, pressed movements, deep, sustained caresses, and faster, almost frantic strokes that make you see stars, make you lose all bearings, all sense of reality.
The room disappears around you. There is nothing else. No more walls, no more noise, no more thoughts. There is only him: his hot lips, his expert tongue, his hands possessive and assertive. You are suspended in this state of altered consciousness, each caress propelling you higher, each vibration of his moan against you sending waves of pleasure through your entire being. He is all you feel, all you experience, and you let yourself be carried away, entirely, by the force of his desire, by the force of his control.
The pressure builds inside you, inexorable, a hot and overwhelming wave that you can no longer contain. Itâs a feeling of urgency, of intensity, that squeezes your chest and gently suffocates you, forcing you to fight against the irrepressible urge to let go. You know that you are about to lose everything, to abandon everything to this overwhelming wave of pleasure that is preparing to surge over you. âSunghoon⌠I⌠Iâm going toâŚâ You want to finish your sentence, to tell him everything that crosses your mind, but the words escape you. Your breath catches, your breath becomes short and panting, and before you can even finish your thought, an explosion of sensations hits you full force.
The orgasm overwhelms you in a raw explosion, every fiber of your body tensing in a wave of pure pleasure. You scream his name, a voice strangled by the intensity, echoing through the room like a desperate, almost uncontrollable echo. It's like the world has frozen around you, all you can feel, all you can understand, is him. It's his tongue, his hands, his body against you, that prolong this dizzying whirlwind until you can no longer distinguish where you end and where he begins. Your body arches violently, trying to escape the intensity, but at the same time, it tenses, tenses even more, demanding this infinite sensation that he grants you with such mastery. He holds you firmly, his hands pressed against your body, forcing you to remain present in this moment where everything else no longer exists.
Sunghoon continues, unwavering, prolonging your pleasure to the extreme. Each movement of his tongue, each friction of his mouth against you seems like a thunderclap in your mind, each new surge of pleasure a bittersweet torture. Your breath becomes erratic, jerky, and you feel your heart beating at a frantic pace, as if your whole body has decided to melt into this irresistible sensation, to make it an integral part of it.
Finally, after this whirlwind of emotions and sensations, when the wave of pleasure slowly begins to fade, you let yourself fall back, your body heavy, but in a deeply fulfilled way. A soft and exhausting heat runs through your veins, like a fire that is slowly dying out, but whose ashes continue to spread a comforting warmth. Each breath becomes slower, deeper, and the world around you seems to dissolve in a veil of softness, as if the air itself were becoming muffled to better give way to this fragile serenity. You are exhausted, but in a strange, almost euphoric state, where every fiber of your being seems to vibrate to the rhythm of what has just happened. Sunghoon, however, does not rush. He straightens up slowly, with that almost supernatural grace that is unique to him, a satisfied and quiet smile on his lips. His eyes, dark and piercing, shine with an almost animal satisfaction, as if a part of him has just been sated. You feel an indefinable connection, a palpable tension between you, a breath hanging in the air, marking the silence after the storm.
And you know that what you shared is unique. It is a silent communion, but also dark and obscure, a dance between light and shadow, where desire and domination intertwine with a force both brutal and gentle. It is not simply attraction; it is much more complex. It is a bond marked by devotion, a form of submission, an inextinguishable desire that seems to have anchored itself in your bodies, in your souls.
Sunghoon approaches then, slowly, each calculated movement resonating like a heartbeat in the heavy silence of the room. His body gives off an almost tangible, imposing presence. You can't help but shiver under the intensity of his attention, an attention that envelops you and squeezes you in its invisible grip. When he sits down next to you on the couch, this simple gesture becomes heavy with meaning. He moves closer still, slightly, but enough for you to feel his weight on you, like a burden you can't escape. His eyes, deep black, fix on you, piercing you with a gaze that seems to want to penetrate every corner of your soul. This fixation, this almost palpable obsession, freezes you in place. You feel trapped, totally vulnerable under his scrutiny, your body and soul exposed like prey under the gaze of a predator.
Without a word, he takes you in his arms. This gesture is not a simple caress. It is a complex embrace, a tangle of tenderness and strength. The warmth of his hands mixes with the possessive, almost brutal embrace. His arms tighten around your waist, pulling you even closer to him, as if to impregnate your body with his presence. Every inch of your skin must feel his touch, his domination. You feel an intense heat, but also a sweet pain, a sensation both exquisite and overwhelming. Each movement of his hands seems to be a silent claim, an affirmation of his desire. It is as if he wants to mark your body, to impregnate you with him, to possess you irrevocably.
He slowly slides his hand under your t-shirt, his fingers cold at first, but quickly warming up as they touch your skin. The contact is of a rare intimacy, of such intensity that it seems to graze not only your body, but also every corner of your mind, starting a fire with each brush. His gestures are measured, no haste. He savors every second, every reaction of your body, every shiver that crosses your skin. His fingers move with a controlled slowness, tracing invisible lines on your stomach, before slowly going back up, brushing your skin, his nails delicately caressing your epidermis. He gives you a glimpse of the promise of a sweet pain, a sensation that makes you sway, that overwhelms you with pleasure mixed with a hint of fear. The shiver that takes you, light at first, becomes more and more insistent, your breathing quickening, like a natural response to the intensity of his gestures. Every tremor of your body is a response to him alone, a dance between desire and fear, a sensation that grips you from the inside, a mixture of overwhelming desire and intoxicating terror. This thrill, this thrilling sense of danger, you know can only be caused by him, and him alone.
While holding you like this, captive in his arms, he leans down slowly. You feel his breath settle near your hair, warm and deep. He places a kiss there, but it is not a trivial kiss. It is a kiss loaded with meaning, as if he wanted to soak up you, your scent, your presence. He closes his eyes for a moment, inhaling deeply the scent of your hair, as if he wanted every fiber of his being to gorge itself on your essence. It is no longer just your body that he seeks to possess, it is your soul, your spirit, everything that you are. He wants everything about you, and he takes it from you with a calculated gentleness, a form of almost religious devotion. A satisfied smile slowly forms on his lips. A smile that you do not see, but that you feel in each movement of his body against yours. He is proud, almost triumphant, as if he has just conquered a territory. In this sweet tension, you feel more submissive, more vulnerable than ever.
You slowly turn your head towards him, your body trembling under the intensity of his gaze. You feel the heat of his presence invade every inch of your space, a heat that seems to burn your skin, crossing the thin barrier of your short breath. You slowly lift your face, and when your eyes meet his, you are struck by a glow of almost frightening intensity. His eyes, black with desire and determination, shine with a wild glow, a glow that makes a hint of apprehension grow in you, but also an irresistible attraction. It is as if this gaze is an abyss, an unfathomable depth into which you feel ready to plunge, even if you know that you could lose all control there.
âYouâre so handsomeâŚâ you whisper, your voice soft, fragile, almost strangled by the emotion bubbling inside you. Each word seems hesitant to come out, as if it were too heavy to bear. A wave of heartbreaking tenderness invades you, but it is quickly caught up in the storm of anguish rumbling inside you.Â
How can a man so broken, so intense, be such a source of both light and darkness in your heart?
He doesnât answer right away. He looks at you, and in his eyes, you see things you canât name. Itâs both consuming and destabilizing. You feel naked under his gaze, vulnerable in a way youâve never known. And yet, part of you wants nothing more than to lose yourself in this vulnerability, to abandon your defenses, to let him dominate you. But another part of you screams to protect yourself, to run away, to keep a safe distance.
Slowly, as if each movement was calculated, you detach yourself from him, just enough to observe his face. His features are marked by violence, by pain, and yet, there is an undeniable beauty in this broken face. The scars that adorn his skin are the silent witnesses of internal and external battles. There is a brutality in his beauty, a raw tension that captivates you, fascinates you. You gently run your fingers over his cheek, brushing a purple bruise that makes you shiver. You know that he has suffered, that each mark on his face is a memory of a fight he did not choose. But all of this makes him even more human, even closer to you, and you want to repair this suffering.
You step closer to him, pressing a kiss to his skin, a kiss so delicate it seems almost unreal, as if you fear it will disappear under your touch. But more than that, you fear the way that simple yet charged gesture resonates within you. Itâs a kiss of admiration, a kiss of devotion, a kiss that carries within it a promise of care that you know you may never be able to keep. But you try, again and again, as if each kiss can erase the pain, as if each brush of your lips is an attempt to ease what he carries deep inside. You kiss each mark, each scar, with an almost obsessive gentleness, as if you can erase it all, as if you can repair what heâs lost.
With each kiss, you feel the air between you fill with a palpable tension, more and more suffocating. His breaths come faster, deeper, almost desperate. His hands tighten around your waist, pulling you a little closer to him, until you are almost against him. His body gives off a raw heat, a heat that makes you forget everything else, that erases everything except him and you, in this suspended moment. You lean down gently to kiss his black eye, a light kiss, almost invisible, but loaded with everything you can't say. It's a silent caress, a way of telling him that you know, that you see what he is wearing, that you accept all of this without judgment.
Sunghoon's fingers dig into your flesh, forcing you to lie further against him. His warmth overwhelms you, and you don't even dare to move, because each movement brings you a little closer to this irreversibility, to this point of no return. He pulls you even closer, and you feel his body press against yours, as if he wants to merge with you, as if he needs you to exist. His gaze, still so intense, plunges into yours, and you can see the depth of what lies behind it, the raw possessiveness, the need to never let you go.
His words, heavy with certainty, hit your heart like a punch. âDonât think for a moment that Iâm going to let you go. Iâm not ready to lose you, Y/n. Not now, not ever.â The strength of his voice grabs you, and you feel a pressure on your chest, as if his desperation is suffocating you. His arms around you force you to feel him stronger and stronger, as if every gesture, every word, every breath only intensifies this pressure between you.
The room becomes an enclosed space, reduced to the two of you and the intensity of the moment. You almost feel like you can't breathe anymore, as if the air itself is thickening, saturated with the electricity of your emotions. Before you can even react, he leans over you, his lips brushing your ear, his hot breath caressing your skin. "I've fallen in love with you, and I can't go back. It's an obsession, a need... You're everything to me." These words resonate in your skull, and you feel them making their way into your insides. A mixture of euphoria and fear invades you, and you feel something breaking inside you. You're afraid, but there's this part of you, this dark part that pushes you to let go, to lose yourself completely in this devouring passion.
âSunghoon, IâŚâ you begin, but youâre interrupted before you can even finish your sentence. He cuts you off, this time with a desperate impatience that resonates in the air, permanently breaking any distance between you.
âLet me show you how serious I am. Tomorrow Iâll take you on a date, and youâll see⌠I want you to feel what I feel. Iâll do anything for you.â His words, heavy with dark promises and unspoken passion, hit the air around you like a hypnotic melody, a melody you can no longer ignore. Every word, every glance you exchange, becomes a promise of pleasure and pain, a promise of dark delights that only you can understand.
He lays down on the couch, pulling you with him, your resistance crumbling under the force of his desire and your own need for comfort. Your head falls to his chest, his arms wrapping around you like a second skin, holding you against him with an almost desperate intensity. His warmth envelops you, his scent of musk and leather invading your senses, forcing you to cling to him like an anchor, as if his presence is all you need to breathe.
His fingers slide slowly along your shoulder blade, tracing invisible lines on your skin. Each gesture seems imbued with a desire to hold on to this moment, to engrave it within him, like an invisible but indelible imprint.
Yet a moment of lucidity strikes you. You try to straighten up, gently placing your hands against his chest, exerting a measured pressure so as not to awaken the pain of his injuries further. But he refuses to let you go. His arms, firm and unwavering, tighten around you with a force that surprises you, as if letting go means losing much more than a simple contact. No matter the pain that seems to run through him, nothing seems more important to him than keeping you there, right against him.
You feel the tension in his body, almost palpable. His muscles contract under your fingers, his jaw clenched, betraying the effort he's making to hide the pain that's cutting into his nerves. Despite everything, he doesn't release his grip. His arms, firm but desperate, hold you with an almost disconcerting intensity, as if letting go meant losing much more than this moment.
His breath, slightly irregular, brushes your forehead, warm and disturbing. You feel his head tilt gently. His eyelids close slowly, as if he were trying to capture every second of this fragile and precious moment. It's not just a simple physical contact: it's a deeper need, almost visceral, a dull and almost animal fear of seeing you escape.
The silence thickens in the room. It becomes heavy, oppressive, amplified by the rhythm of your breaths that begin to match each other, in a strange synchronicity. Each breath you take seems to take root in him, as if your presence alone manages to soothe something in him, much deeper than the pain in his body. Yet, you feel it, this internal struggle he is waging: between the suffering he endures and this irrepressible need to keep you close to him, as if you were the only thing that could still keep him standing.
âYouâre like a drug, Y/n,â Sunghoon suddenly whispers, breaking the silence with an unsettling sweetness. His voice, husky and slightly raspy, insinuates itself into the air like a white-hot caress. The words hit you hard, carrying a raw, almost terrifying truth. âEvery time I touch you, I lose control a little more.â
Thereâs something electric in his voice, an almost tangible vibration, filled with a mixture of vulnerability and desire so raw that your breath catches. You look up at him, captivated, unable to look away. His face, marked by pain, is lit up with an intensity thatâs almost unbearable. Those words, so simple in appearance, seep into you, resonating deeply, as if they carry the weight of a secret heâs told no one.
You feel an intense heat rising inside you. It starts in your chest, spreading like a wave until it invades every part of your being. Your fingers tremble slightly, and your heart races, unable to ignore what he has just said. It is not a simple declaration of desire. It is a confession, an admission of dependence, almost an obsession. And you, at the heart of it all, find yourself torn between a visceral fear and an irrepressible attraction.
Because this intensity, this darkness that burns within him, attracts you as much as it terrifies you.
You want to answer, but no words come out. You are frozen, prisoner of his gaze. That dark, piercing eye pierces you, lays you bare. It seems to read you, decipher every corner of your soul, every thought you try to hide. That look, loaded with desire and possessiveness, exposes you in a way you can't control. You feel vulnerable, helpless, unable to hide.
He leans in slightly, bringing his face closer to yours, and the air between you becomes thick, almost suffocating. âPromise me youâll never leave,â he whispers, his voice barely audible, but trembling with an emotion he can barely contain.
His words resonate like a plea. A crack opens in the armor he wears so proudly, revealing a fragility he shows to no one. He is no longer the strong, unwavering man you have before you. He is someone human, someone who is afraid. A visceral, almost painful fear of losing you, of finding himself alone. This fragility that he offers you, almost against his will, upsets you.
Your heart tightens, a wave of tenderness and pain overwhelms you. Everything he is, all this intensity, this flickering light in the depths of his gaze, calls to you irresistibly. You know that this bond that unites you is as powerful as it is dangerous. A magnetic force that could elevate you as much as destroy you. But backing down is not an option.
âIâm not leaving,â you finally whisper, your voice soft but firm, carried by a certainty you didnât know you possessed. You stare into his eyes, determined for him to understand the sincerity of your words. âI want to see how far this can take us.â
A shadow crosses his face, quickly replaced by something else. His lips slowly stretch into a smile, but itâs not a light smile. Itâs a smile charged with complex emotions: relief, gratitude, and maybe even a hint of triumph. He nods slowly, as if finally accepting that he wonât have to fight alone.
His grip loosens slightly, just enough to allow you to breathe, but he pulls you even closer. His forehead gently rests against yours, and you close your eyes for a moment, overwhelmed by the warmth of this moment. His fingers, light and hesitant, brush the skin of your back, drawing imperceptible circles. Each gesture seems imbued with a fierce desire to engrave this moment in his memory, like a souvenir to which he can cling.
His breathing, warm and soothing, mixes with yours. You feel his heart beating, slowly, echoing yours. This moment, this connection, goes beyond simple physical contact. Itâs a silent pact, a shared promise: no matter the darkness that surrounds you, you will no longer face it alone.
The darkness thickens around you, soft and enveloping. But this time, it doesn't scare you. You are certain of one thing, inexplicable and yet unshakable: no matter what happens, you are linked.
The glass walls of the aquarium seemed suspended in a sea of ââblue light, a soft, mystical glow that bathed the space like an invisible caress. With each heartbeat of this translucent ocean, the fish glided silently around you, their shiny, iridescent bodies drawing delicate arabesques in the water. The air itself seemed to grow heavy, as if time had chosen to slow down here, in this other world, where every movement, every breath seemed suspended in a fragile balance. Everything seemed like a waking dream, a perfect illusion, where reality melted into a hypnotic dance of light and shadow.
You and Sunghoon walked side by side, your hands intertwined, your fingers brushing and searching for each other. Each of your steps was imbued with gentleness, but also with an invisible tension, like a taut rope ready to give way. The silence between you was not heavy, but loaded with a thousand unsaid things. An electric tension floated between you, palpable, as if you were suspended between two worlds. Around you, the fish danced, indifferent to this human tension, but between you, there was something more, something that neither water nor glass could filter. Each gesture, each breath was like a silent challenge, a call for intimacy, but also for the space that each of you seemed to seek while never wanting to move away.
Sunghoon looked at you, not with curiosity, but with a kind of devouring intensity, as if he were trying to read you down to the smallest corner of your soul. His eyes, dark and deep, scrutinized you with an almost inquisitive interest, seeking to decipher the secrets that you tried to hide behind your smile. He loved this part of you that revealed itself to the world, when you lost yourself in the wonders of the aquarium. He loved seeing the spark of fascination on your face, this spark of purity that shone each time you discovered a rare shell or a brightly colored fish. But he also loved seeing you abandon yourself for a moment to this wonder, only to return to yourself, to him, in the blink of an eye. "You are so fascinated by these little things," he said, his voice soft, almost caressing, but sharp as a blade. A mischievous smile played on his lips, a smile that said more than words. It was both a compliment and a mockery, a way of reminding you that he knew you well, maybe even too well.
At these words, you answered him immediately, your expression hardening into a mock-indignant pout. You frowned, feigning anger, but your eyes betrayed the malice bubbling inside you. âI donât see why that makes you laugh,â you said, a spark of humor in your voice, like a promise of complicity. And yet, with each glance he gave you, you felt the heat of his gaze cross your skin, the pressure of a barely restrained desire, of an infinite attention that made you shiver. There was something in the way he looked at you, a mixture of possessiveness and unsatisfied desire, as if he saw you through every expression, every gesture you made. It wasnât just a look. It was an exploration.
âIâm really glad you brought me here,â you finally whispered, your breath light, your heart beating faster with each moment you spent together in this suspended world. You squeezed his hand in yours, feeling the warmth of his skin, this warmth that seemed to comfort you while reminding you of the presence of an invisible danger. There was a strange and almost hypnotic beauty in this moment, as if everything around you was frozen, and only your bond really existed. But at this precise moment, a movement in the water caught your attention. A shark, majestic and disturbing, was slowly approaching, its mouth wide open, ready to show its frightening teeth. A shiver of fear mixed with curiosity ran through you. You instinctively backed away, seeking refuge, without really thinking about it, behind Sunghoon. Fear, as light as a breath, mixed with fascination. It was just a water creature, and yet it seemed so close, so threatening.
But Sunghoon laughed, a rich, warm, deep laugh that vibrated through you, resonating in your bones. The laugh, both mocking and protective, made you feel vulnerable and safe at the same time. He turned to you, a bright smile on his lips, and cupped your face in his hands. The softness of his gestures contrasted strangely with the underlying strength of his movements. His fingers brushed your skin, his palms warm against your cheeks. âItâs just a shark,â he joked, but his tone was charged with something more, a mixture of amusement and defiance. There was an unspoken promise in his words, a sort of silent complicity that said: Itâs okay, Iâm here. But at the same time, his gaze didnât leave you. He scrutinized every part of your face, perhaps trying to understand what you were feeling, what you didnât necessarily want to tell him.
âWhy are you hiding? You seem so happy to be here,â he whispered, his eyes burning with an almost dangerous intensity. It wasnât just a question. It was a silent challenge, an unspoken plea to pierce the barrier you had erected around yourself. His gaze was piercing, searching you, trying to tear through your mask, to reveal what you had carefully concealed. He didnât want your words, he wanted to understand, everything, down to the depths of your soul, as if this truth was his by right.
A sudden heat filled your cheeks, like a fire rekindling under the pressure of his burning gaze. But you wouldnât give in. Not now. No, not yet. You pulled yourself together almost instantly, holding your breath, and sought to maintain a subtle distance between you and Sunghoon, a part of yourself well-kept in the shadows. âIâm not hiding, Iâm just protecting myself with the attractive body of my⌠boxer boyfriend,â you said, a mischievous smile playing on your lips, as if to mask the deeper truth that lurked behind those words. Sure, it was a game. But it was also a way of pushing back against the pressure he was putting on you. A dangerous game, where you pretended to give in while keeping a secret control over yourself. You wanted to show him that you werenât easy prey, that his understanding of you wasnât something that was going to be handed to him on a platter.
You placed your hand on his arm that held your cheek firmly, your gesture both protective and bold. His gaze intensified, searching for an answer in your eyes, but he pulled back slightly, as if to observe you better. His eyes did not detach themselves from yours, diving into your pupils with an almost palpable intensity, searching, scrutinizing, tearing your mask to understand what was hidden behind. He hoped to find a truth there, a sign, a breach in your defense, but you were not yet ready to offer him that. Not so easily.
âW⌠What? Your boyfriend?â The surprise in his voice quickly mixed with an almost possessive satisfaction, as if your words revealed more than you thought. A strange, almost possessive smile played on his lips, a satisfaction that bordered on control. He wasnât even trying to hide what he felt anymore. What he wanted. What he was waiting for. It had all become so obvious, and he was just waiting for an opportunity to make it happen.
Your heart raced at his words, and you slipped your hand into his. The touch of his warm skin against yours sent a shiver of anticipation through you, an electric thrill that seemed to run through every fiber of your being. His fingers closed gently around yours, firm but not painful, just enough to keep you from escaping. Their movements were slow, measured, but each one carried a palpable tension, a promise of what might come. You were caught in that invisible circle between desire and resistance, and you knew the line was getting thinner with each passing moment.
âYou donât want to be anymore?â you asked, feigning an innocence that lacked the credibility or purity you were trying to convey. With a nonchalant gesture, you pointed at a random man in the crowd, as if to test the situation. But you knew full well that this gesture was calculated. This was not a man like the others, it was a provocation, an attempt to provoke him, to challenge the hold he already seemed to have over you. âMaybe I should ask this man then.â No sooner had your words been spoken than he let out a growl, a low, rumbling sound that made every fiber of your body vibrate. This sound was a warning, a signal. He was not going to let you go so easily. He was not going to tolerate such a suggestion.
Without warning, Sunghoon reacted with unsettling speed. He pulled you by the hand and pinned you against him, his controlled strength making you a puppet in his arms. You gasped in surprise, your breath hitching as the pressure of his torso made itself felt against you. Your heart pounded in your chest, resonating against his body, and a wave of excitement immediately washed over you, shivering along your nerves. It was a suspended moment, as if time itself had stopped to observe what was to come next. The atmosphere seemed heavy, almost too tense to be real, as if the air was holding its breath, waiting for the next move, the next word.
You could feel the warmth of his body against yours, his power almost palpable, and it gave you a strange feeling: vulnerable, but at the same time protected, as if in this embrace you were not only a victim, but also a willing ally. His arms around you were both reassuring and threatening, so close, and yet capable of breaking you if you weren't careful. But what unsettled you the most was this spark of desire that shone between you. It was palpable, with every breath, with every look. It was an irresistible and captivating attraction, as frightening as it was exciting.
Sunghoonâs lips found yours in a devouring kiss, an unleashed passion that poured into you like an uncontrollable torrent. The contact was raw, imperious, a wild mix of desire and heat. Every movement of his lips against yours carried with it an almost animal urgency, an insatiable thirst. His hand, now on your back, slid slowly down your waist, settling on your body with a possessiveness that simultaneously troubled and attracted you. He pulled you closer to him, pressing you against him, as if he were trying to erase all distance between you. His gestures were almost too violent to be gentle, but there was something deeply intimate about this violence, a silent cry that escaped from his gestures.
The taste of his lips, both sweet and slightly salty, invaded your senses, crushing you under the heat of his touch. He gently nibbled your lower lip, a gesture both tender and devouring, as if he were asking for permission that you were already ready to grant him without restraint. The heat of his mouth spread inside you, his tongue brushing yours timidly at first, before gaining confidence, venturing further, deeper, in a dance that became more and more daring with each moment. His movements were hypnotic, a slow and deep wave that seemed to overwhelm you, each caress of his tongue provoking an immediate and instinctive response from your own body. Each brush of his lips against your skin lit a spark, a shiver of anticipation that spread through you, invading your entire being.
The world around you seemed to dissolve in that suspended moment, and all that mattered was him, you, and this shared warmth. You slid your hand to the back of his neck, fingers digging into his thick, soft hair, feeling the tension of his body against yours beneath your palms. The way Sunghoon touched you was an intoxicating mix of roughness and tenderness, each movement revealing the complexity of what drove him. It was as if, with each second, he was rediscovering you, each brush of his hands, each press of his fingers on your skin, was a new way of possessing you, of exploring you.
The air around you seemed to vibrate with a palpable, almost electric energy. Every sigh, every moan that escaped your lips mingled with his, creating a kind of music that resonated in your heart. The feeling of his hands sliding gently over your waist, brushing every curve, every contour of your body, was both pure pleasure and delicious torture. His lips became more pressing, his kisses more insatiable, as you let yourself be carried away by this storm that made your heart beat faster, harder. The taste of his desire mixed with the thrill of fear, creating an intoxicating cocktail, a feverish dance of pleasure and anguish that set you ablaze in a way you could neither understand nor control.
You felt lost, overwhelmed by Sunghoon, by the intensity of what was happening between you. Every movement, every shudder of his body against yours seemed to lead him to one goal: to make you his, to mark you in some way. A moan escaped your mouth, a silent cry of pure desire, as his breath grew heavier, more panting. Every beat of your heart seemed to resonate in your ears, drowning out any other sound. The heat of his skin against yours, the way he pressed you even closer to him, almost drove you crazy with desire. Sunghoon kissed you with such fervor, with such a need to possess you, that you felt like you were losing yourself in this moment, disappearing completely in the depth of this kiss.
His hands slid along your waist, following the contours of your body with exquisite slowness, caressing each curve, exploring every part of you. With each touch, a shiver ran down your spine, a wave of heat and pleasure that made you quiver from head to toe. His lips moved slightly away from your mouth to rest on your neck, then on your shoulder, and each kiss, each touch, was more intimate, more intense than the last. You shuddered under his caresses, unable to resist the temptation to ask for more, to be even closer, even more fusional.
The air seemed to grow heavy around you, each breath more panting than the last, each gesture more urgent. You let Sunghoon guide you, lose yourself in this dance of bodies and souls, while you felt your limits melt under his hands, under his lips. A tear silently rolled down his cheek, a drop of vulnerability that contrasted with the intensity of this moment. The salty taste of his emotions mingled with your kisses, intensifying each contact, each sigh. It was as if, in this closed world, you merged, forgetting everything that was not part of you two. Nothing else mattered. Only the intensity of this bond that united you mattered.
Sunghoon pulled back slightly, but not without resting his forehead against yours. The contact, almost imperceptible at first, suddenly became heavy with meaning, a shiver running through the perfect alignment of your faces, as if every pore of your skin was awakening at the same moment. The heat of his skin against yours, already burning, seemed to increase the intensity of the moment tenfold. The air, laden with this heat, grew heavy around you. His warm breath caressed your face, each breath mingling with yours in a silent exchange, a subtle fusion between two beings with hearts beating in unison, like a whisper of ecstasy suspended in the air.
You could feel your heartbeat against your chest, racing faster and faster, following a frantic rhythm that seemed no longer yours. It synchronized with his, a beat that became palpable, a vibration that resonated to the depths of your being. His eyes, plunged into yours, were dark and hypnotic, imprisoning your gaze with an incredible intensity. In his burning pupils, you could see the passion unfolding, a fragile but devouring flame, ready to engulf everything in its path. It was as if he were reading you, revealing you in this fragile bubble, as if he knew that this moment was more than a simple stolen moment, that it marked the beginning of a transformation, of an irreversible change.
âWhat are you doing to me, Y/n?â Sunghoonâs voice was husky and emotional, vibrating through the air, each word betraying a tension that was both sweet and exquisite. He seemed on the verge of losing himself, as if the control, the fragile barrier he had maintained until then, was cracking under the force of what he was feeling. His gaze darkened further, a glimmer of uncontrollable desire mixing with the anguish, as if the intensity of the moment was becoming too strong, too overwhelming. Sunghoon had this way of scrutinizing you, of searching for answers in your gaze, as if he hoped to find permission to give in completely. A sigh escaped his lips, vibrating with desire. Your skin, every cell of your body, seemed to merge with his, like an irresistible magnetic field.
You could feel his hand slowly slide over your waist, brushing your skin with a delicacy that contrasted so intensely with the firmness of his fingers. Each movement was precise, measured, like a delicate dance between desire and possession. He brushed the curve of your body with a sensuality that destabilized you, filling you with a heat that was difficult to control. Shiver after shiver, your body reacted in spite of yourself, drawn to this touch that was both soft and possessive. A tornado of contradictory emotions surged through you: the desire to get closer, to merge in this warmth, but also the fear, visceral, of what it could mean, of what you risked losing.
With a voice trembling with emotion, you almost whispered against his skin, your breath brushing his lips. âI want you to let go⌠with me.â Those words, weak but powerful, escaped your throat like a throbbing invitation, a promise that would be impossible to take back in return. You leaned down slightly, an impulse, an irrepressible need, and you placed a light but desire-laden kiss against his lips. Your lips brushed his warm and tender skin, a shiver of ecstasy running through Sunghoon. He shivered, as if your gesture had opened a lever of desire buried inside him, a desire that he could no longer ignore. A moan, almost inaudible, made its way from his lips, a sound that inflamed you even more. This simple kiss awakened an inner fury in him, a strength that he struggled to contain. And you let yourself be overwhelmed, the fire that was born in you had no intention of going out.
The warmth of his hand slid slowly, his touch becoming more daring, more determined. His hand wrapped around your waist before slowly, with deliberate slowness, descending towards your buttock. There, he gripped you tightly, an act both tender and dominant, a hold that left no room for escape. An electrifying shiver ran through you, and a moan escaped your mouth, vibrating against his lips. The sound, mixing desire and vulnerability, resonated deeply in Sunghoon, reverberating in every fiber of his being. You felt the tension rising between you, palpable, electrifying, like a storm ready to burst, to destroy the barriers you had imposed on yourselves. The world around you was gradually disappearing, giving way to this suspended moment, to this intensity that neither of you could ignore anymore.
Then, Sunghoon pulled back slightly, his eyes still fixed on yours. A playful smile played on his lips, but this smile did not mask the intensity of what was hidden in his gaze. There was this spark, this disturbing depth that had just lit up in his pupils. His smile was both amused and provocative, like a call to exceed the limits, to cross borders still invisible. The pressure of his hand on your buttock remained, marked, a reminder of this unfulfilled desire, like one more promise. "I don't want to go to jail for exhibitionism," he joked, his laughter resonating in the space, light and captivating. Yet, even in the lightness of this joke, you could feel the depth of the tension that emerged. Behind the words, there was a dark truth, a truth that he did not want to admit, that you could no longer ignore. Between duty and desire there was an invisible chasm, and you could almost feel the rope that was going to give way at any moment, a thread stretched to the limit, ready to snap under the pressure of your emotions.
Sunghoon's fingers intertwined with yours, a touch laden with silent promises. The gentleness with which he squeezed your hand warmed you, each caress sending waves of heat that reverberated all along your arm, creating a feeling of ecstasy that was both sweet and violent at the same time. Yet, beyond this tenderness, there was a shadow, an unspoken desire, a tension that grew with each second, ready to burst in an uncontrollable explosion. A fire burned within him, and you knew he was hiding it from you, but you could feel it in every movement, every look. This desire, so powerful, so unspoken, floated between you like a specter, ready to engulf you.
You continue to advance in the dark corridors of the aquarium, where the subdued light of the pools of water projected by the blue flashes draws moving shadows on your faces. The atmosphere is heavy, almost mystical, as if each ray of water captured a part of your thoughts, diluted them in the icy clarity of the deep waters, and enveloped you in a heavy silence. The sound of your footsteps resonates faintly, like a distant echo in this aquatic labyrinth. With each step, the lights flash and briefly illuminate your skin, projecting fleeting and strange shadows that transform you into ethereal silhouettes, lost in another world. The cold light caresses your faces, accentuating the feeling of isolation, of intimacy in this enclosed place. A feeling of oblivion, as if everything that existed outside of this moment was nothing more than mist.
The warmth of Sunghoonâs hand, wrapping around yours, contrasts sharply with the cool, humid air here. His grip is gentle but firm, a reassuring bond, an anchor in this floating universe. Each movement of your intertwined fingers seems suspended in space, each contact deeper, more intimate than the last. The outside world becomes blurred, a vague shadow on the periphery of your consciousness. Itâs as if there were only the two of you, a fragile bubble, a closed space between two beings. A feeling of security invades you, but also of fragility, as if everything could shatter in an instant. You are there, together, in a soothing silence.
Then, a dull thud erupts from down the hallway, an impact sound that seems to tear the air. It sounds like a detonation, or the echo of an inner world breaking. The sound roars through the enclosed space, abruptly interrupting the balance you had found. Sunghoonâs hand tenses slightly, like a rope that tightens before giving way. The tension, subtle at first, spreads through his fingers, slowly invading his entire body. Itâs almost imperceptible, a tiny shiver that rises in his grip, but everything inside you tenses at that moment. Something heavier settles in, a dark energy, a threat that he canât shake off. Heâs there, next to you, but heâs no longer the Sunghoon you know.
His eyes, so fixed on you until then, turn away, get lost in infinity. His gaze becomes like a chasm, a bottomless abyss in which you lose yourself without knowing if you can bring him back. A shadow crosses his pupils, a darkness that engulfs everything around him, and you see his face distort, like a painting that twists under the effect of an invisible pain. His features tense, harden, as if an invisible puppet were pulling the strings of his expressions. A mask of terror slowly spreads over him, and the tenderness that characterized him gives way to a raw, almost frightening vulnerability.
Slowly, Sunghoon releases your hand, but it's only for a moment. In a quick, desperate movement, he grabs it again, his fingers closing around yours with a dull violence, as if this contact were the only thing that could keep him balanced. The pain is immediate, sharp, like an electric shock. His fingers squeeze so hard that you feel every bone, every joint in your fingers rebel under this pressure. Yet, you don't dare move. You are frozen, caught in this visceral fear of seeing this bond break. And somewhere, deep down, you know that this brutal gesture is not a simple cry of pain, but a silent request, a call for help. Sunghoon is looking for you, he needs you to not collapse.
His lips part, but no sound comes out. The breath he takes is jerky, each inhalation seems to cut him off, as if the air around him is no longer enough to nourish his body. His lungs fight against him, each breath a struggle. You hear his heart beat faster and harder, hammering in his temples, in his throat, in the tension that fills the space between you. It is an almost unbearable pain.
Sunghoon places a trembling hand on his chest, as if trying to push away this invisible pain that hides there, under his skin, will be enough to make it disappear. He tenses up more, each movement of his fingers on his own flesh a gesture of fighting against a pain that he cannot fight. It is brutal, it is desperate. A solitary tear, a silent pearl of suffering, slowly forms at the corner of his eye, sliding down his cheek in a slow movement, like a river that flows without being able to stop. It traces a bright line on his skin, carrying with it the fragments of a pain that he hides from others, but which now bursts inside him.
It is a suffering that he keeps quiet about, an evil that he hides under his mask of indifference, but which invades him, eats away at him, crushes him. And seeing him like this, broken, vulnerable, your heart tightens in your chest, a heavy and painful weight that nails you to the spot. He is no longer the Sunghoon from the outside, the one who keeps control, the one who protects you. He is a man lost in his demons, a man who needs comfort but who does not know how to accept it.
You approach him, each step like a challenge, a crossing of an internal battlefield where you face your own fear. With a lump in your throat, you feel an icy fear creeping into you. It's the second time you've seen him in this state, in this fragility that seems to crush him from the inside. It's the second time you've become aware of the extent of the storm he hides inside him, a silent storm, a wave of distress that overwhelms him. And you have only one desire, only one: to be his refuge, to be the one who welcomes him in his pain, who helps him breathe through this turmoil.
Slowly, you tighten your grip on his hand, your palm pressing against his, with a firmness full of gentleness, a gesture as tender as it is necessary. You slide gently in front of him, your eyes plunged into his, seeking to capture this chaos, to understand this torment that agitates his dilated pupils. "Sunghoon..." you murmur, your voice breaking in this soft supplication, this infinite sweetness that escapes from your throat, like a caress.
Your free hand slides slowly over his cheek, brushing his skin with infinite softness. You feel the warmth of his skin, the moisture of the tear that shakes you more than you would have thought. This tear is not simply a sign of sadness, it is a cry, a silent call. Your forehead rests against his, in an incredibly intimate gesture, creating an invisible barrier around you, a cocoon in which he can let himself go, break without fear of being rejected. In this contact, you want him to feel the depth of your love, this love that accepts everything, even his darkness. You want him to understand that he is not alone, that he can let himself go to his suffering without having to carry the weight of the world.
Your breaths mingle in a shared breath, soft and fragile. It is a breath full of hope, despite the anguish, despite the fear. And in this breath, you murmur softly, your voice filled with this infinite tenderness: "Breathe with me, Sunghoon... just with me."
He hesitates, his eyes get lost in yours, collide with the invisible, as if he were trying to hold on to something, but couldn't distinguish the present from the past. Little by little, his fingers that tighten around yours loosen, slowly, like a shy flower that opens under the first ray of sunlight. You continue to slide your fingers on his cheek, tracing tender circles, letting your warmth penetrate his skin, penetrate his heart. With each movement, you try to soothe him, to free him, until he lets himself go completely, his head leaning further against yours, a last barrier falling between you.
When he finally lets out a deep, almost broken breath, you know heâs freeing himself of an invisible weight, a burden heâs carried in silence for so long. His shoulders relax imperceptibly, as if the invisible thread that held them taut has just snapped, and a palpable tension leaves his body. His lips part, trembling, and with an almost furtive gesture, he whispers, his voice cracking with pain: âIâm sorry⌠I didnât mean to show you this, not here, not now.â Each word seems to tear away a fragment of his soul, a piece of this impenetrable façade heâs built around himself. You can almost feel the gravity of his shame, like a crushing weight heâs struggling to cast off.
At these words, a wave of raw and intense tenderness invades you, submerging your heart. Sunghoon no longer hides, he shows you all his fragility, all the pain he hides under his apparent strength. For the first time, you glimpse this part of him that he usually keeps buried, this vulnerability that he tries to hide behind his mask of assurance. It is a silent call, a truth that he offers you without abandoning himself to it completely. Without answering, you gently slide your hand into his hair, your fingers brushing his locks with infinite tenderness. With each caress, you erase a little more of the world around you, weaving a bubble of intimacy where there is nothing else but this moment. Your breaths synchronize in a peaceful rhythm, as if, suddenly, the whole world stopped turning. The touch of your fingers in his hair is both soothing and electrifying, soft and powerful, like a silent promise, an offering of comfort in a sea of ââtorment.
You don't say anything, you just let your gestures do the talking. You don't want to force anything, just be there, present for him, for who he is in this new fragility. "You have nothing to hide, Sunghoon," you say, your voice low, like a secret whisper between the two of you. "I'm here, for all of that. For every part of you, even the ones you think you have to hide." You say these words like an oath, a promise engraved in every fiber of your being. He shivers under the warmth of this truth, as if your gaze directly touched what he hid deep inside him. His fingers intertwine more firmly with yours, seeking the warmth of your hand, and his thumb slowly brushes your skin, a fragile caress, almost unconscious, but so powerful in its simplicity. It's as if he's trying to anchor your presence in his flesh, as if to make sure that you're really there, that you won't leave.
Time seems to stand still, each second expanding in this silent embrace. Itâs as if the outside world, the gazes of others, no longer exist. There is only Sunghoon, and you, and the vulnerability you share. You are bound in a silent truth, an exchange of emotions that words cannot capture. You share buried pains, flaws, a vulnerability that you had never dared to reveal, to either of you. It is a wordless confession, a silent dialogue where your hearts dance together in a deep intimacy.Â
Every beat of his heart resonates with yours, and you feel torn between the anguish of seeing him sink into his darkness and the burning desire to keep him close to you, to be this light that illuminates him in the darkness. His gaze, now clouded with tears, captures your light like a castaway who finally sees a lighthouse in the darkness. He stares at you intensely, as if you were his last hope, his last anchor in this chaotic world. In this silence heavy with meaning, a fragility is woven between you, but also a silent promise: that of staying there, one for the other, of never failing, of always standing by the other's side.
Sunghoon, in the throes of inner turmoil, looks at you with an intensity that pierces you. His eyes, full of confusion and pain, seek a little peace, a little comfort in your gaze. His lips approach yours with an almost hypnotic slowness, and you feel the irresistible urge to kiss him, to seal this moment, to erase the space that separates you. When your lips finally brush, it is like a burst of truth, a mixture of sweetness, tenderness and despair. You can almost taste the salt of his tears on your lips, an imprint of his suffering, his fragility. It is a kiss loaded with everything he has not been able to say, a kiss that reveals a shared vulnerability, a common suffering.
âLet me be your strength,â you whisper, barely audible, your lips brushing his, your breath trembling with emotion.
Sunghoon leans slightly towards you, and in an instant, the space between you seems to dissolve, as if the whole world around you is fading away. Your lips meet again, at first a soft, almost timid contact, but enough to unite your breaths, your fears and your hopes, thus creating a silent and deep bond between the two of you. The kiss is hesitant at first, as if your souls were still looking for their place, timidly brushing against each other, like two strangers discovering each other. Then, little by little, the intensity increases. The gestures become more sure, more pressing, each movement of the lips a promise, a form of shared consolation. This kiss carries everything that remains unsaid, all this accumulated pain, this silent exchange where your souls speak to each other without a word. His breath mixes with yours, warm and light at the same time. Every sigh that escapes his lips is a silent confession, an inner cry that he offers to you without restraint.
His hands slide gently over your body, as if every inch of your skin were a discovery, a meticulous exploration of you. He traces invisible lines, each touch electrifying your skin, a shiver running down your spine with each gesture. He takes his time, savoring each moment, as if time were suspended around you. In his kisses, you feel his pain, his suffering mixed with a burning desire, both obscure and intoxicating. It is a whirlwind of contradictions, a strange fusion between suffering and desire. The pressure of his tongue on yours is hesitant at first, timid, then it becomes more and more assured, more demanding, like a silent request, an invitation to open your heart.
You answer him, letting yourself be carried away by the rhythm of the dance he initiates. Your tongue slides against his, in a slow and sensual movement. It is a hesitant dance, as if each gesture, each brush, had the power to erase everything, to repair everything. The warmth of his lips touches you, this burning tenderness that hides under the insistence of his kisses. You are linked in a heavy silence, this silence loaded with everything that you have never dared to say, but that you share in this communion of bodies. Each movement becomes a silent cry, a mute imploration to forget the outside world, to abandon yourselves to this moment, you lose yourselves in each other, in the warmth of your bodies that unite against the coldness of the world.
Sunghoon finally pulls away from you slowly, his lips pulling away with an unsettling slowness, creating a void that squeezes your heart. The heat of his body seems to still hang in the air around you, and the space between you suddenly becomes heavy with a palpable tension, a persistent heat but of a completely different nature. His eyes plunge into yours, dark and penetrating, as if he were trying to read every thought, every emotion that crosses your mind. He seems to see fragments of you that he had never noticed before, and in his gaze, you feel the intensity of this discovery.Â
Then Sunghoon begins a sensual journey on your face, his lips brushing your skin with an almost unreal delicacy, making you shiver almost uncontrollably. He gently caresses your eyelids, kisses them tenderly, as if he wanted to seal a secret between you, a secret that nothing will ever be able to break. His kisses are light at first, almost shy, but beneath this softness hides a growing intensity, a tension that never stops rising, an insatiable desire more and more present, invasive. He then moves on to your nose, tracing a hot, humid path, a silent promise of something more, before lingering on your cheeks, his kisses become more insistent, deeper, as if he wanted to mark every inch of your skin, leave an indelible imprint of his desire, of his presence.
But itâs to your lips that he returns, again and again, as if everything resides there. When he settles on you again, a shiver of desire runs through you. The kiss is torrid, burning, filled with an electric tension that seems to make everything more real. His lips move with a new urgency, as if theyâre searching for something, as if theyâre begging for more. His tongue advances slowly, brushing yours with a possessive softness, a silent demand, and you feel a shiver of pleasure run through you, like an electric shock going through every fiber of your being. He pulls back slightly, just enough for you to feel his warm breath caress your skin, and you feel the world stop around you, time stretch out, the air become heavy with passion and tension.
âDonât go away from me, Y/n,â he whispers, his voice low and husky, slipping through the air like a hot caress, gentle and threatening at the same time. His words, heavy with meaning and charged with a silent urgency, are not a simple request, but an imperious demand, an order hidden under the air of tender supplication. It is as if each syllable marks your mind with an invisible imprint, anchoring you to him in an irremediable way. He is not joking. You know it, deep down, in this palpable tension that settles between you. His voice leaves no room for doubt: he wants you close to him, here, right now, and nothing will be able to detach you from him without a storm breaking out.
A shiver runs down your spine. The proximity of his body, the warmth of his skin that seems to burn you without touching him, brings up a wave of contradictory emotions. The desire bubbling inside you collides with the fear of the unknown, the danger hidden in this attraction. He is there, right against you, and every fiber of your being screams at you to flee, but another part of you, deeper, more secret, pushes you to abandon yourself to this irresistible wave that rises within you, to this force that subjugates you.
In an almost instinctive gesture, your hand moves towards his waist, brushing the softness of his top, seeking contact, a connection. But, at the last second, a wave of lucidity invades you, reminding you of his injury. A burst of doubt stops you, and you hesitate, a suspended moment where the reality of the gesture becomes clearer. His fragility, his pain⌠An icy reality that makes you shiver. However, another sensation quickly rises, even stronger: the desire to touch him, to feel the warmth of his body against you, to reduce this distance that separates you. The tension that grips you is sweet and devastating at the same time. There is no more room for hesitation. The moment is too heavy, too intense. You press gently, just enough to brush his skin, and he reacts without the slightest hesitation.
His fingers close around yours with such force, such certainty, that you almost feel like youâve trapped yourself in his arms. The softness of his grip hides a muted power, a quiet dominance that leaves no room for rebellion. Itâs a reminder of his power, of how Sunghoon can encompass you in a single gesture. But itâs also a reminder of his vulnerability, a strange and destabilizing contrast. His gaze, deep into yours, is insistent, almost desperate, as if heâs trying to convince you to stay here, in this suspended moment, even if everything around you seems to be falling apart. Sunghoon wants you there, by his side, and the gravity of that desire squeezes your heart. He doesnât tell you with words, but in the depth of his gaze, in every tense muscle of his body, you know that nothing else matters to you two, right here, right now.
Suddenly, without warning, he takes you by the hand and leads you to a small waffle shop in the aquarium. The ground beneath your feet feels harder, heavier, each step weighing you down like a stone. The atmosphere around you becomes thicker, denser, as if the air itself were charged with electricity. An almost palpable energy vibrates between you, weaving itself around you like an invisible thread, a bond you can neither understand nor break. It's like walking on a tightrope stretched between two worlds, that of passion and threat, and you don't know which one attracts you more. It's a fragile dance, a precarious balance between temptation and danger, and each step brings you closer to the abyss.
The dim lights through the store windows cast blurry, dancing shadows across your faces. These shadows seem to bloom in the space between you, feeding the intensity of the moment, making it even more overwhelming. Every movement becomes heavier, every look more charged with meaning. The connection between you grows stronger, almost unbearable, every gesture, every breath becoming an affirmation of this irresistible attraction, this insatiable need that binds you.
As you walk through the door of the store, the sweet air of waffles hits you, a sweet smell that surprises you in this atmosphere heavy with tension. It's almost cruel, this contrast, a brutal reminder that not everything is as intense as what you share. And yet, even this sweetness seems tinged by the heat of his body so close to yours. He has not stopped looking at you. His gaze does not look away for a second, and in his pupils shine flashes of wild, merciless desire. His impassive face barely hides the burn he feels, and every muscle in his body seems tense, ready to explode.
The salesman calls you, but his voice seems distant, almost inaudible in this bubble of intensity that you two form. Everything seems unreal, as if time itself had stopped to observe you. You are absorbed, swallowed up by Sunghoon's gaze, in which unconfessed desires, promises and hidden threats mix. This gaze is an abyss, a trap into which you could easily fall. And a part of you is terrified at the idea of ââdiscovering what he really expects from you. A dull anguish mixes with the growing desire, creating an unbearable tension that makes your heart beat harder, faster.
Sunghoon finally orders a waffle for the two of you, without taking his eyes off yours. And then you feel a shiver of adrenaline run through you. The intimacy of this moment is overwhelming. It's as if everything around you is becoming a blur, as if the world no longer exists. Every second that passes is a mixture of pleasure and fear, a whirlwind of contradictory sensations that leaves you speechless, defenseless. When the waffle arrives, he takes it in his hand, but he keeps looking at you, as if he wants you to be aware of every gesture, every movement. You can see the tension in his muscles, his self-control, and yet there is this glint of desperation in his eyes, as if he is waiting for something from you, something you have not yet understood.
âDo you want to taste?â His low voice, almost a whisper, slides over your skin like an intimate caress, loaded with something much more than mere words. Each syllable seems suspended in the air, heavy with meaning, like a silent and dangerous promise. He slowly brings the waffle to you, but his eyes do not leave yours, piercing, analyzing each movement, each reaction. It is a power play, a silent challenge, where each gesture seems calculated, each breath, a declaration. It is no longer a simple question of dessert; there is a palpable tension between you, a magnetic attraction that binds you to him, preventing you from escaping. Everything seems suspended in this moment, and you realize that it is not only a question of gluttony, but something deeper, darker, an irresistible desire.
When you finally take a bite, the sweetness of the waffle explodes in your mouth, but you can't ignore Sunghoon's imposing presence, so close to you. It's like he's everywhere at once, in the air, in the heat emanating from him, in the intensity of his gaze, a predator's gaze scrutinizing his prey. He watches you, he analyzes you, waiting to see how you'll react, what each movement of your body will mean to him. His eyes, deep and insatiable, seem to want to decipher each of your thoughts, each breath. He must know that you belong to him, that you are his in this suspended moment. And, against all logic, you feel fragile, vulnerable under this gaze that consumes you, as if you were nothing more than a puzzle that he is determined to solve.
When you finally release the waffle, the sweet sweetness mixes with a much more complex taste. The creamy texture of the whipped cream melts into Sunghoon's scent, which surrounds you with every breath. He is so close, each movement of your tongue to wipe your lips makes you aware of his presence, of his insistent and scrutinizing gaze, of the pressure of his body close to yours. You are aware of every gesture, every movement becomes a silent invitation, a call. You know that he is watching you, that every micro-movement of your body is scrutinized, that you no longer have the right to look away. He seeks to read you, to decode your slightest reaction.
You finally bring your hand to your lips to wipe the corner of your mouth, a small gesture that is almost automatic, but you suddenly feel lost. The softness of your fingers on your skin is abruptly interrupted. A shiver runs through you when you feel a firm but gentle grip on your wrist. Sunghoon holds you back, pulling you towards him with a quiet but strong authority. He takes you in his arms, preventing you from running away. His burning gaze pierces you, and the silent pressure he exerts on you clearly tells you to stay there, not to resist. He owns you in this moment, even without a word.
âLet me do it,â he whispers, his voice soft as velvet, but filled with danger. He leans in then, his face moving closer to yours, close enough that you can feel his breath, the heat of his body brushing against you. His eyes, dark as night, stare at you with such intensity that you feel destabilized, as if he could read you, devour you, know everything about you. There is no more room for words. There is only this look, this tension floating around you, and the feeling that the outside world no longer exists. Everything has been reduced to this moment, to this suspended moment where there is only the two of you.
Without a word, he moves closer, his mouth moving to the corner of your lips. His tongue, warm and wet, gently brushes the delicate skin of your lips, removing the rest of the whipped cream that you haven't wiped away. The contact is electric, a brutal shock that vibrates every fiber of your being. It is both intimate and invasive, a gentle but irreversible intrusion. The shiver that runs through you is more intense than anything you have felt before, a mixture of desire, shame and pure pleasure. A moan escapes your throat, involuntary, a silent cry betraying your response to this burning contact. Everything around you disappears, the noises of the room, the whispers, fade into the background, leaving only this sensual dance, this indefinable bond that unites you in this suspended moment.
Sunghoon pulls out slowly, savoring every second, and every second seems to last an eternity. He is in control, every movement calculated, precise. You feel even more lost, wrapped in this whirlwind of contradictory sensations. With a sure gesture, Sunghoon brings your finger to his lips. A simple gesture, but in his hands, it takes on a whole new dimension. The innocence of the act becomes disturbing as he slowly sucks your finger, his warm and soft mouth enveloping your skin in a disconcerting, almost invasive way. Each movement, each aspiration seems to steal a little of your control, pushing you to abandon yourself to this intensity, to this silent domination. He slowly removes the slightest trace of whipped cream, his eyes deep in yours, satisfied, full of a quiet arrogance. And you, you feel your heart accelerate, beating faster, harder. The sparkle in his eyes tells you that this was only the beginning, that what he wants from you is much more than this simple gesture.
âSunghoon⌠weâre in public,â you whisper, your voice trembling, torn between disapproval and excitement. Each word struggles to escape your lips, infused with obvious hesitation, but the intensity of his burning gaze unsettles you, making you doubt your own will to stop. The heat in your skin spikes, every movement of your body seeming to risk betraying a truth youâre not ready to face. Around you, the hustle and bustle of the room fades to a distant whisper as you become aware of the furtive glances of the customers. A few of them watch you, curious, embarrassed, or incredulous. You suddenly feel vulnerable, as if every breath, every beat of your heart echoes in the silence that has settled around you. A wave of excitement invades your mind, an intoxicating whirlwind that makes you oscillate between shame and a devouring desire. You are there, in this enclosed space, caught in a bubble of palpable tension, but aware of the foreign glances gliding over you.
Relentless, Sunghoon removes your finger from his mouth with an almost insolent ease, as if he were playing with you at every moment. He is neither in a hurry nor embarrassed, and in this gesture, he places a light kiss on the palm of your hand, a kiss so subtle, so intimate, that it freezes you on the spot. This simple contact, yet fleeting, triggers a discharge of contradictory emotions. The heat of his skin against yours causes a shiver that runs through you, shaking all your senses. The fear of excess, the excitement of risk, and a raw, insatiable desire, mix in your belly, turning you over. His smile is an enigma, a combination of apparent innocence and obscene promises, a veil that hides the increasingly heavy tension between you. His gaze, always fixed on you, gives off an implacable energy, as if he sees beyond your appearance, as if he knows exactly what you feel, without you needing to utter a single word.
âAs long as we donât fuck in front of them, princess, I donât care,â he suddenly blurts out, his voice as smooth as satin but hiding an underlying iron blade. His words seep into the air, light but heavy with meaning, and the atmosphere is instantly charged with palpable electricity. Each syllable he utters seems to resonate in your bones, and you swallow, feeling a mixture of shame, arousal, and fascination grow within you. He looks at you with such intensity that you have no choice but to defy him with your gaze, all the while knowing that you are already lost. There is no longer any room for ambiguity in what you feel. He knows exactly what he is doing, and he is fully aware of the effect it has on you. But he enjoys it, because this game, this challenge between you, is a terrain of power that he controls to perfection.
With calculated slowness, Sunghoon brings the waffle to his lips, biting exactly where you left the imprint of your teeth. This gesture, which might seem innocuous in another context, suddenly takes on an unsuspected meaning. He does it with an almost perverse reverence, as if he were trying to appropriate a little of you through this simple gesture. His gaze does not leave you, penetrating and deep, a gaze that seems to read each of your reactions, each thought that crosses your mind. It is a silent promise, a promise that you are not sure whether you want to keep or break. Your heart races, your breath becomes shorter, the air around you becomes heavier. A dull tension settles, an anticipation that hangs in the air like a soft threat, ready to explode. He has captured something in you, a small spark of submission that you had not seen coming, but which grows each time he stares at you in this way.
His gaze locks with yours, unwavering, and a serious, almost predatory smile plays on his lips as he whispers softly, âItâs delicious.â His words float between you, a caress that makes you shiver, exposing you in a way no other man has ever managed. He holds the waffle out to you, but itâs no longer a simple offer. Itâs a silent challenge, an unspoken invitation to respond to his gesture, to become a part of this game he plays with such skill. He forces you to accept this offering, and though your body hesitates, your mind betrays you and you bite exactly where he left his mark. Your eyes meet again, colliding in a silent dance of possession and vulnerability. Each gesture becomes a hold, an act of power and submission, and you feel trapped in this invisible web he weaves around you.
Your heart beats hard in your chest, heavy, panting, and an oppressive heat invades your body. You are aware of every movement, every breath, and each gesture seems to trigger a chain reaction, a wave of emotions that overwhelms you. A mischievous wink escapes your eyes, and, against all expectations, you see a slight blush tint his cheeks. This reaction, so rare in him, almost makes you smile. You bite your lip, trying to stifle a laugh, amused by this vulnerability that he hides so clumsily, this side of him that you begin to see, a little more with each moment.
âYouâre so adorable, Sunghoon,â you tell him in a breath, your words sliding slowly, like an almost invisible caress that brushes the air. They slip between you, light, but heavy with meaning, loaded with that subtle irony that always floats in the air when emotions are too strong to be simply said. These words, yet tender, seem to split the space between you in a way that you had not anticipated. The moment you say them, you see a slight shiver run through his features, an imperceptible tension that crosses his body, like a shock wave that he tries to hide, but that you perceive nevertheless, clearly.
Sunghoon's face, usually as implacable as steel, then betrays a moment of vulnerability. A deeper blush invades his cheeks, tinting his skin with an unexpected warmth. His eyes avert almost by reflex, and a hand rises, running through his hair in a sudden, almost defensive gesture, as if he wanted to erase the impact of your words. But this gesture, far from masking what he feels, only reinforces the impression you have of seeing him shirk, even slightly, this truth that you are holding out to him. You had not anticipated that a simple compliment could destabilize him to this point, and yet, in this split second, you perceive a crack in his armor.
Despite this moment of fragility, something deeper, more chilling, awakens in him. A flash of darkness in his gaze, an unfathomable depth that you have never perceived before, an ocean of pain and desire mixed, where you feel that behind this facade of control, a storm is raging. Sunghoon stares at you again, his eyes burning with an almost bestial intensity, as if he is seeing you for the first time, as if he is devouring you with his gaze, each second a fight not to sink. As if you are all that keeps him here, in this reality, in this moment suspended between you.
Sunghoon leans forward slightly, almost imperceptibly, a subtle movement, but charged with the promise of a closeness that makes your heart beat faster. His hand, hesitant at first, slides towards your face, his finger brushing the outline of your lips, as if he were trying to understand this smile that has brushed your face. The contact is so soft, almost fragile, but at the same time, heartbreakingly tender, as if this gesture could be a last memory that he would take with him. This simple touch seems to suspend time, and you feel your heart racing, your body reacting to this softness, but also to the urgency that there is in this gesture, a desire to capture a moment before it disappears, to immobilize it forever.
Unable to resist the momentum that runs through you, the whirlwind of sensations that overwhelm you, you place a light kiss on the tip of his finger. This gesture, almost innocuous, resonates in the air like a shard of broken glass. Sunghoon slowly closes his eyes, as if he needed to be away from this contact for a moment, to absorb the heat of your kiss, to stifle the explosion of emotions that tears him apart. When he reopens his eyes, his gaze seems darker, veiled, as if he were trying to hide a torment that he cannot control. A fragile smile forms on his lips, but it is almost as fleeting as the pain he seeks to hide. It is a broken smile, like a shard of glass that cannot be repaired.
âI love your smile,â he says, and his voice trembles slightly, betraying an imperceptible shiver, a tremor that he tries to hide under the softness of his words. His fingers, now more assured, slide slowly from your lips to your cheek, brushing your skin like a caress. But in his gestures there is also hidden a form of silent possession, as if he wanted to soak up you, to keep you close to him in a last gesture of tenderness. But behind this touch, you also feel the pain, palpable, that he cannot hide. He looks at you as if each second spent with you costs him a little more of himself, as if each movement you make, each breath you let out, is a tearing for him.
His hand moves down further, sliding along the back of your neck with calculated slowness. You feel the gentle but firm pressure of his fingers on your skin, almost an anchor that keeps you close to him. This gesture is at once a gesture of control, a way of binding you to him, and yet, it is also tender, like a silent request to stay, not to leave, even if it must be done in pain. Your breath catches for a moment, strangled by the feeling of being both vulnerable and desired, as if everything you were was concentrated in this single moment, in this hand that keeps you close to him.
âI want you to be like this forever⌠happy,â he whispers, and the words, infinitely sweet but broken, insinuate themselves into you like an icy breath. His voice, low, brushes you gently, mixing tenderness and unspeakable pain. There is something fragile in his words, as if they are too weak to contain the pain they carry. He speaks as if he is confiding a part of himself to you, but you know that what he hides in his gaze is heavier than what he dares to say. Behind this tenderness, you perceive a fear that he tries to hideâa visceral fear that shines in his eyes, threatening and fragile.
You see that this fear is eating him up, that he hides it under a mask of love and devotion, but it is there, lurking in every corner of his gaze. It is a deep anguish that he cannot fight, that he does not dare to face. He desires with all his heart to see you happy, but with a desperate urgency, as if he knew, deep down, that this happiness does not belong to him. Sunghoon is not the one who will be able to offer you lasting tranquility, and it is eating away at him. Even if he tries to offer you what he believes to be the most beautiful gift of allâyour joyâhe knows that it is only an illusion. Because, deep down, he is not the one who will fill your heart.
The violence of this thought hits him like a stab. He then contemplates you, his eyes drowned in a suffering that he can no longer hide. This gaze that you meet is an abyss, an endless chasm where he seems to lose himself little by little, as if each moment spent with you was only an ephemeral illusion. Sunghoon looks at you with the certainty that what you share is only a passage, a parenthesis. He knows that he will end up losing you, that one day you will move away, and he already sees you as a shooting star that he believes he will never be able to hold on to. Sunghoon admires you, he loves you with a pure but desperate love, to the point of suffering. This suffering is part of him, a wound that he has learned to hide, but which, at this precise moment, is revealed. It is this irrational fear of seeing you disappear that slowly breaks him, piece by piece.
What he doesn't tell you, what he can't say, is that every moment spent with you is an inner struggle for him. A struggle against his own demons, against the certainty that he will never be able to fill your heart completely. He wants to be the one who makes you happy, with all his being, but Sunghoon knows that he is not up to it. This doubt eats away at him more and more every day. His thoughts sometimes escape towards an uncertain future, where you will no longer be there, where you will inexorably move away, and where he will be forced to see you go. In this vision, he already feels the pain of your disappearance, the immense void that it will leave in his life.
He knows this thought of loss well, he has learned to live with it, to accept it, but it is destroying him little by little. Every moment spent with you becomes a struggle against the evidence of what seems inevitable: your disappearance. He carries this fear within him like a curse, an open wound that never closes, and that deepens with each moment. He is afraid of loving you too much, afraid that this love â so pure, so unaltered â will destroy him too, that it will make him sink into an abyss from which he will never be able to escape.
âIâm going to smile so much for you that itâs going to annoy you,â you say, your voice soft, almost whispered, as you gently squeeze his hand. You feel a slight vibration under your touch, and you know that this sentence, so light in appearance, is only a mask, an attempt to dissipate the tension. But the storm raging inside Sunghoon cannot be appeased by mere words. Even your gaze, full of tenderness and kindness, does not mask this silent struggle that hides in his eyes. And in this suspended moment, the storm becomes more violent, each heartbeat he feels seeming to suck you a little more towards the abyss where he finds himself.
Your smile, almost naively innocent, briefly lights up his face, but it especially accentuates the depth of the pain he hides. Behind this smile, too fragile, hides an unfathomable emptiness, a sadness anchored in his being, a loneliness that he has carried within him for years, perhaps forever. Since his childhood, Sunghoon has learned to hide this suffering, to erect walls around himself, a fortress that he never dared to let fall, for fear of being swallowed up by the outside world. But you, your presence, your gaze, are slowly, inexorably breaking down this barrier. It is not a brutal burst, but a slow and deep crack. A silent internal struggle, because he knows, deep down, that these emotions that he has kept inside him for so long will eventually overflow.
Sunghoon knows, deep down, that this happiness, this warmth he feels by your side, is only a mirage. A fragile flame in an icy night, ready to go out at the slightest breeze. He looks at you with an almost painful intensity, a despair that he cannot hide. He watches you like a man watches a dream whose contours he knows he will never be able to grasp, a dream that dissipates as soon as he touches it. Every smile you offer him, every gentle gesture from you, pierces his heart like an invisible blade. He would like to lose himself in this happiness, to take refuge in this sweetness that you give him, but he knows that, sooner or later, you will move away. That distance, oblivion, will make you leave. The fear of abandonment, visceral and constant, is anchored in every fiber of his being. And yet, with every moment spent with you, he lets himself be carried away by a devouring love, a devouring passion that consumes him, slowly eats away at him, but which, he knows, will never fill the void he carries within him.
In an almost desperate burst, Sunghoon holds you close. He grabs you, not gently, but with an almost violent urgency, as if you were the last lifeline in a raging ocean. As if he could hold you back, prevent you from moving away, from escaping, simply by holding you closer to him. His hands dig into your skin with a pressure that hurts you, but which, strangely, also seems to seek to mark every part of you, to anchor you in his memory. He seeks to make you inseparable from him, to possess you not only with his body, but with his soul. His eyes capture you, scrutinize you with an almost sickly intensity, seeking to imprison your silhouette in a gaze where desire and suffering mingle. Each movement, each breath, seems calculated to hold you back, to anchor you in him, as if he knew that losing you would be his own end.
But at the same time, every moment he spends by your side is a sweet agony. A sublimated, intense pain, which mixes with the beauty of the moment. Every kiss, every smile, every shared breath is a treasure that he reluctantly accepts, all the while knowing that it leaves a gaping wound in his heart. This pain, Sunghoon accepts it, he even cherishes it, because for him, loving you is accepting to slowly destroy himself. It is embracing the burn of passion while being perfectly aware that he will end up burning himself, that this fire will devour him, that he will not come out of it unscathed.
Sunghoon holds you even tighter, as if the sheer force of his will could keep you there, close to him, by his side. He would like time to stop, for this suspended moment to last forever, but he knows that it is only a mirage. Because deep down, he feels this inevitable truth: everything he experiences with you is temporary. It is a daydream that will fade away at the slightest movement, at the slightest change. And yet, even while consumed by the fear of losing you, Sunghoon does not hesitate. He lets himself go in this whirlwind of feelings, ready to sacrifice everything, even if it destroys him. Because to him, to love is to agree to give everything, to burn everything, to lose everything, in the insane hope that you will stay, even if only a little longer.
In the boxing gym, the air was oppressive, saturated with the smell of sweat and metal. The dull sound of punches hitting the punching bag mingled with the faint flashing of neon lights above Sunghoon, like echoes of an ever-growing inner turmoil. The cold light of the neon lights cast strange shadows on his face, emphasizing every line of fatigue and pain that marked his features. His eyes, usually intense, were now a little dull, as if all his energy was directed into his fists that he threw with an almost frantic violence. With each impact, his gloves were lost in the bag with a sharp thud, one more blow to silence what was rumbling inside him, an uncontrollable rage that was bubbling beneath the surface.
Across from him, Jay remained stoic, his posture impeccable, like a silhouette frozen in time. He didn't move an inch, his arms stretched around the punching bag he held tightly, resisting the powerful blows that struck him at every moment. He absorbed each shock with calculated patience, as if nothing that happened around him could touch him. Yet, in the silence that reigned between each blow, it was impossible not to feel the intensity of the exchange. Jay, although motionless, was totally focused, his piercing gaze observing every detail of Sunghoon's movements. He knew that each blow his friend threw was not simply an attempt to defeat a punching bag, but a fight against inner demons far more powerful than anything he could face in this ring.
Sunghoonâs gloves danced violently, each strike followed by a new explosion of force. He struck, again and again, as if each blow freed him a little more, or at least, thatâs what he hoped. His fists were cannonballs, relentlessly raging against the worn surface of the bag, which almost seemed to respond with equal hardness. The pain in his arms, the muscles tensed, each impact resonating down to his bones, was nothing compared to the pain he felt inside. Rage filled him. Sunghoon didnât strike to win, he struck to exist, to make something tangible exist in this whirlwind of frustration and despair. Sweat beaded on his forehead, but he paid it no mind. Sunghoon was lost in this struggle, far from reality, far from the invisible spectators who might judge.
His movements had become mechanical, like an automatic repetition of gestures that he no longer controlled. The violence of each blow seemed to come from a deep place, a place he did not dare to look at. His breathing, irregular, derailed with each exhalation. A hoarse breath, almost whistling, escaped his lips with each new attack. It was not the physical pain that he was trying to evacuate, but something much greater, something that he could not formulate, but which, with each inspiration, seemed to gnaw at his insides.
And then Jay broke the silence, his voice cold as a sharp blade cutting through the air. âSo, are you ready to face Heeseung in a month?â His tone was dry, direct, straightforward, like an invitation to the truth, or perhaps a challenge. The question hung in the air, heavy with innuendo, expectations, and hopes they dared not name. Sunghoon froze for a moment. A particularly violent blow crashed against the bag, but he didnât have the strength to strike again. A shudder, an invisible vibration, was felt in his body. He knew that the question was much more than a simple interrogation of his physical abilities; it opened a breach into something much more intimate.
Sunghoon took a deep breath, trying to put his mind back in place, but the thought of Heeseung, of this betrayal that was devouring him, immediately invaded his mind. He closed his eyes for a moment, but the image of his former friend forced itself into his mind, again and again. The betrayal, the lies, the anger, everything intertwined. Sunghoon had been there for Heeseung, always, and yet⌠Everything had shattered. Heeseung's face, that of a friend he believed to be sincere, haunted his thoughts. It was a shadow that stuck to his skin, that distorted his own reflection. He gritted his teeth and struck again, harder, faster. He struck with the force of pain, with the violence of bitterness.
âHeeseung is nothing but another man,â he spat through his teeth, his voice shaking with fury. His gaze fixed on the bag, but in his mind, it was Heeseungâs face he saw, the face of the lost friend, the man who had betrayed him. Sunghoon paused, his breath caught, his heart pounding. He didnât know if it was the rage that kept him alive or the pain that wouldnât let go. He stared at the bag for a moment, as if he saw the features of his former friend there, each blow he threw an attempt to bring justice to this broken friendship. Sunghoon needed to strike, again and again, until this pain, this betrayal, finally stopped consuming him.
Jay, watching every move with a keenness that did not escape him, did not utter a word. He knew. He knew that this was not just a fight against a man. This was not just a rivalry. This was an inner war, a battle between what had been lost and what still remained to be preserved. Sunghoon's hatred was not only directed at Heeseung; it was also directed at himself. It was not the strength of a rival that he was facing, but the shadow of a friend he had loved. And Jay understood, perhaps better than anyone, that this scar was much deeper than any blow he had struck.
In the echo of the last blows, a palpable tension, like a thread suspended between the past and the future, hung in the air. Jay knew he could only watch, observe without intervening. What was playing out in this room was not a simple physical training. It was a silent catharsis, a silent battle that Sunghoon had to fight alone.
âIs that really what you want to believe?â Jayâs voice cut through the silence with the softness of a sharp blade, calm but relentless. He slowly loosened his grip on the punching bag, forcing Sunghoon to stop. The air in the room, already saturated with heat and sweat, seemed to freeze around them, heavy with that palpable tension. Sunghoon froze, his arm hanging in the air, his palm still open as if he were ready to strike again, but his muscles tensed under the unexpected impact of those words. Jay hadnât shouted, he hadnât even raised his voice. Yet he had managed to break Sunghoonâs rhythm, to disturb the balance that the latter had so desperately tried to maintain.
Jay's gaze was a finely honed instrument, a gaze that penetrated appearances and saw beyond the surface. It was a gaze that discerned hidden truths, those that Sunghoon himself did not dare to face, those that hid in the dark corners of his soul, where he hoped no one would come to disturb them. Jay knew that Sunghoon was fighting against something much bigger than Heeseung, against an inner monster, a visceral pain that he did not have the courage to acknowledge.
âYou can convince yourself all you want, but itâs not Heeseung youâre fighting. Itâs yourself, that part of you that refuses to accept what he did to you.â Jayâs words sank into Sunghoonâs heart like a blade cutting through his ribs. They were precise, sharp, and far more painful than any punch he could have received. They struck directly where he had buried his pain: in that gaping wound that bled endlessly, the one that had opened in his heart the day Heeseung had betrayed him.
Sunghoon's breathing quickened. He froze for a moment, his eyes fixed on the punching bag, but he couldn't see anything anymore. His thoughts were lost in the tumult of memories, in that precise moment when everything had changed. Heeseung's face floated before him, that of the friend he had known, the one he had trusted, and now... now, he was an enemy. A traitor. A ghost. Jay's gaze forced him to relive that scene over and over again, to revisit the moment when betrayal had slipped like poison into his life. He had lost everything that day, and the pain was still raw, stinging.
Sunghoon's fists slowly unclenched, almost against his will. He felt the sweaty gloves slip slightly from his trembling hands, but he didn't put them back on. He couldn't hold on tight anymore, couldn't push back the flood of pain that was intensifying with each passing moment. Sweat was now streaming down his face, but it wasn't just fatigue anymore. It was emotional exhaustion, a weight he had been carrying for too long that was starting to crush him. It was this pain he was trying to escape, but it caught up with him with every blow he landed, every mechanical movement he made to let out his anger and frustration.
âIt doesnât matter anymoreâŚâ Sunghoonâs voice trailed off almost to a whisper, a choked gasp of pain. The words struggled to come out, stuck in his throat, unable to find their way out. He tried to smile, a bitter smile, devoid of joy, but it only served to deepen the sadness in his eyes. âHeâs just another opponent to beat.â No matter how hard he tried to hide the truth, to impose a mask of bravado, he knew he didnât believe it himself. The truth was there, buried deep in his chest, a truth he could no longer ignore.
Jay shook his head slowly, wordlessly, his gaze unwavering. He knew Sunghoon wasnât ready to accept this truth, that what he was saying was just a desperate attempt to maintain some semblance of control. But Jay was used to reading people, sensing the cracks in their façade, and he knew Sunghoon was about to snap. He could see the fragility that lurked beneath that anger, that hurt buried deep inside him that he had tried to repress for so long. Jay could see that, despite his efforts to convince himself that everything was under control, Sunghoon was drowning in an ocean of pain he refused to acknowledge.
Sunghoon finally looked down, avoiding Jay's insistent gaze. He grabbed a bandage and wrapped it around his bloodied hands, but he didn't have the strength to do it properly. His fingers were shaking, each movement an automatic mechanism, an unconscious action. He tightened the bandage around his wrists with an almost feverish determination, as if by tightening the bonds he could hold back the pain that threatened to engulf everything.
Jay approached slowly, quietly, and placed a hand on Sunghoonâs shoulder. The gesture was simple, but it carried the full weight of friendship, of silent understanding, of deep compassion that needed no words. There was no rush in his touch, just a steady, reassuring presence. âYou know, Sunghoon, facing Heeseung wonât change anything if youâre not willing to face what heâs awakened in you. Itâs not hatred that will make you stronger, but what you choose to do with it.â
Sunghoon stood there for a long moment, his eyes blank, staring into the nothingness before him. The silence of the boxing gym was oppressive, heavy like a cloud of tension hanging in the air, but inside him, it was something else entirely. Jay's words echoed in his head, seeping into his mind like a slowly spreading poison, leaving a burning trace behind.Â
Every sentence, every syllable, struck sensitive chords within him, wounds he thought were closed but that, with each touch, reopened. Jay was right. It was a truth he could no longer ignore, as painful as it was. But accepting it, facing it, was a chasm he did not dare cross yet. It was an abyss too deep, too frightening. If he acknowledged it, he would lose everything he had built, all this facade he tried to maintain.
His heart beat in a staccato rhythm, each beat marking a break from what he had always thought he knew. He let out a shaky sigh, almost inaudible, like a weight breaking in his soul, loud in his mind, though his body remained frozen. The heat of the room seemed to transform into a suffocating heat around him. Sunghoon tried to swallow this pain, to push it back, but it was there, it would not go away.Â
Sunghoon straightened up slowly, his movements were mechanical, as if he were forcing his body to obey a will that was no longer his own. He searched for the mask he had worn for so long, this mask of coldness and disdain, the one that had protected him from the truth, from his own feelings. But he knew deep down that Jay had seen him, that he had broken through this shell with disconcerting ease. And that, more than anything, was unbearable.
âWhy are you doing this, Jay?â The question came out of his lips with difficulty, each word carrying an almost unbearable weight. His voice was low, hoarse, trembling with anger and confusion. Sunghoon felt his fists clench again, but he didnât have the strength to keep them closed. âWhy do you insist on bringing me back to this, on reminding me⌠of what I want to forget?â He looked away, as if he could erase Jayâs words, as if running away could ease the torment that was eating away at him. But he knew he couldnât run away, not this time. This emptiness, this pain, was inside him, ingrained in his flesh, and running away from Jayâs gaze would only make it stronger.
Jay stared at him in silence, his gaze heavy with understanding, calm, and deep gravity. His eyes seemed to probe every corner of Sunghoon's soul, every crack, every piece of his broken being, without any reluctance. He didn't turn away, he didn't run away from the intensity of this confrontation. He knew that Sunghoon needed this space, this confrontation, even if he wasn't ready to accept it. Jay gave Sunghoon all the space for his anger, for his need to flee, for his inner struggle. He waited, without rushing, as if he knew that at some point, the truth would finally come out.
Then, finally, he answered, in a low voice, but full of that simple wisdom that knew how to touch where it hurt.
âBecause you deserve to be free from all of this, Sunghoon.â The words echoed in the air, their weight landing heavily on Sunghoonâs shoulders. âBecause as long as you remain trapped in this hatred, this pain, Heeseung will continue to have power over you, even if heâs not there. And thatâs worse than any defeat.â
Jay's words crashed down on Sunghoon like a wave of truth. It washed over him, not with the violence of a storm, but with the cold sweetness of a reality he could no longer escape. Sunghoon felt his heart tighten, a wave of pain that slowly spread throughout his body. It was as if something inside him was finally breaking, as if the lock he had taken care to seal for years had just given way, letting everything escape. He felt a strange combination of anger and relief. The rage was still there, burning, but it was now mixed with a feeling of emptiness, of weakness. This pain that he had locked away so tenaciously, this suffering that he thought he could control, was beginning to fail in his hands. Sunghoon was no longer in control. He could no longer run from this truth.
A silence settled then, heavy, palpable. The room seemed to tighten around him, the walls closing in, the air becoming more stifling. Sunghoon turned his head, avoiding Jay's gaze, as if to protect himself. He stared at an invisible point on the ground, but the truth remained there, inside him, deeply inked. He felt his breath catch, the anger still present, but more desperate, more disarming. The violence that inhabited him clashed with this reality, and he no longer knew how to contain it. He took a deep breath, his shoulders shrugging under the effort of holding back everything he felt boiling inside him.
Eventually, Sunghoon's voice grew quieter, almost a whisper, a confession that didn't ask for an answer, but simply sought to come out.
"He should never have betrayed me."
The words escaped like a breach in a dam, fragile, broken. It was an admission heavy with regret, disappointment, raw, naked pain. It wasnât just the betrayal that consumed him, but everything that came with it: the broken friendship, the shattered trust, the certainty that he wasnât worthy of being loved, of being respected. He felt vulnerable, almost naked under Jayâs gaze, as if every word he spoke revealed a little more of himself, a little more of what heâd always wanted to hide.
The silence that followed was almost unbearable, heavy with everything he didn't say, with what he couldn't yet face. Memories of Heeseung, of their friendship, of the betrayal that had destroyed everything, jostled in his mind, chaotic, unfinished. Anger, pain, abandonment... all of it mixed in a silent, endless storm that continued to torment him. And even if Sunghoon had said those words, even if he had said what he didn't allow himself to feel, he knew that he wasn't ready to fully face them yet. He wasn't ready to face what was deep inside him. But maybe, just maybe, one day he would be.
And maybe, on that day, Sunghoon could finally leave the pain behind.
Jay approached him slowly, without a sound, his hand placed on his shoulder with apparent gentleness, but this gentleness hid a firm determination. He knew that Sunghoon, in this state, would not easily allow someone to approach, much less lay a hand on him. But Jay was not the type to back down in the face of a challenge, and this proximity, far from disturbing him, seemed rather to give him a calm, almost soothing authority.
Jayâs voice cut through the silence of the room like a cleaver, measured but heavy with meaning. âWe donât always choose who hurts us, or how they hurt us,â he said quietly, the words falling like stones into a silent pond. âBut we can choose how to rebuild ourselves afterward. This fight against Heeseung⌠Itâs not just revenge. Itâs a chance to show that youâre stronger than this betrayal, that you wonât let it define who you are.â
Sunghoon froze, his eyes glazed over, as if he had tried to swallow Jay's words while refusing to let them sink in too deeply. He squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his fists, feeling every word Jay said sink into his veins like a sweet, sneaky poison. Everything inside him screamed to resist, to not accept this truth, but deep down he knew Jay was right. He hadn't chosen Heeseung's betrayal, or the pain that had come with it. But now, in this moment, Sunghoon was still choosing to fight. Or at least, that's what he told himself.
Sunghoon closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He tried to calm himself, to control the tide of conflicting emotions that were surging through him. But each breath seemed to feed an inner fire that he hadnât been able to extinguish. Their faces overlapped in his mind, Heeseungâs, Jayâs. The tension that held him, the pain that gnawed at him⌠it all kept looping. He gritted his teeth, feeling a dull frustration bubbling inside him. He wasnât ready to face the truth. He wasnât ready to look deep inside himself.
When he finally opened his eyes, he met Jay's gaze, and this time, he didn't look away. For the first time in a long time, he didn't try to hide his vulnerability. There was something deeply human about this encounter, something broken, something irreparable. His eyes shone with a light that betrayed more than pain; there was also this crack, this old fatigue, this endless struggle against what he felt. He felt like a stranger within himself, lost in an internal war that never seemed to end.
âI tried to rebuild myself,â he whispered, his words barely audible, almost drowned out by the weight of his own exhaustion. âI tried to tell myself that it didnât matter anymore, that I could move on without him⌠but this rage, this hatred⌠itâs all I have left.â
Sunghoon's words were laden with such raw truth that they seemed to hang in the air, heavy and painful. Jay felt a pang in his heart as he heard them, not out of pity, but because he understood, perhaps better than anyone, the inner vortex that was consuming Sunghoon. He knew that this anger was not simply a reaction to an act of betrayal, but a response to a deep pain that he had never known how to treat except with rage. But Jay, with infinite gentleness, answered in his calm, implacable voice.
âThen let her go,â he whispered, almost like a caress. âLet that rage go and find who you really are, Sunghoon. Not the fighter consumed by hatred, but the man who deserves to live without being haunted by the past.â
There was no judgment in his words. No blame. Just a silent invitation to let go of the chains that held him back. Jay knew it wasnât easy. He knew the road would be long, fraught with pitfalls, but he believed in himself. He believed in the possibility of healing, even if Sunghoon didnât see it yet.
Jay's words fell on Sunghoon like a warm rain, soft but painful. It was a balm on a wound he had ignored for too long. Sunghoon felt his fists unclench imperceptibly, as if the weight of the hatred that had kept him alive for so many years was suddenly lighter. His arms trembled slightly, and he had to concentrate to control the tremors that threatened to overwhelm him. It was as if all his strength, his energy, were dissipating, carried away by a flood he no longer controlled.
He slowly turned his head to Jay, his eyes filled with silent gratitude, deep and sincere. Words were useless. He didn't need to speak. Jay knew. And somehow, Sunghoon also knew that he had found someone who, for the first time, wouldn't ask him to be stronger, more impassive. Someone who saw him, with all his flaws, all his wounds. And who, despite everything, remained there.
A slight, almost imperceptible smile touched Sunghoon's lips. It wasn't a triumphant smile, but a smile filled with gratitude, with fragility. He wasn't ready to forget yet. Nor to forgive. But he knew he wasn't alone in this quest anymore. He didn't have to fight his own demons alone anymore.
And in that dark, cold, and almost silent room, Sunghoon felt, for the first time in far too long, a little peace. Not the peace of forgiveness or forgetting, but that of a man who, little by little, was beginning to free himself from his chains.
The door had barely closed behind Sunghoon, and immediately the air in the room seemed to take on a pressure, heavy and palpable. The silence that followed became as dense as a storm cloud ready to burst. You looked at him, but he was no longer the distant man you knew, nor the one you had learned to love despite his flaws, his silences, his outbursts. Tonight, he was nothing more than a silhouette, a flickering shadow, almost unreal. His features were marked by something deeper, darker, a torment that he had taken care to hide until then but which now seemed to overflow, to explode to the surface. Sunghoon was like a broken man, and yet, he still struggled, with this silent violence that inhabited his body. The void that had formed between you was loaded with invisible tensions, with unspoken but intense presences.
Your heart clenched in your chest, beating too hard, too fast. Each beat seemed to echo the growing worry that was taking over you. You wanted to break this silence, but nothing seemed to be able to lighten the air between you. Sunghoon stared at you, without looking away, his dark, unfathomable eyes burning with an almost unbearable intensity. He pierced you, probed you as if he were trying to read the depths of your soul, to discover something you weren't even ready to reveal to him. Every movement of his body seemed tense, on the verge of tearing itself apart. It was as if you could feel his desire to act, an uncontrollable impulse that he was holding back, but for how much longer? The energy between you was electrifying, wild, and you could feel it coursing through you, running through your skin like a shiver that awakened every fiber of your being.
A mixture of fear and desire, reluctance and attraction, overwhelmed you. You knew this feeling, but tonight it was different, more violent. It was like an inner tug that tore you apart, an incessant struggle between fleeing and giving in. You had always known that there was something between you, a complicated bond, made of frustrations, unspoken things, repressed passions, but there, in this suspended moment, it was as if the outside world no longer existed. Everything was just him, this brute force and this growing tension that accumulated between your bodies, ready to spill out.
You wanted to speak, to say something to break the heaviness of waiting, but as soon as you whispered his name, "Sunghoon," everything changed. He moved so suddenly that you were barely aware of it. In a split second, he was in front of you, his massive presence enveloping you. There was no more distance between you. He was there, so close that you could feel the heat of his body, intense, burning, radiating through the air, penetrating you like a wild fire. His breath brushed your skin, short and jerky, as if he was struggling to find his rhythm, to tame what he was feeling. You could almost feel every beat of his heart, that tension that inhabited every fiber of his being, that inner tremor contained in every movement, every gesture.
You tensed under the pressure of his proximity. Your heart clenched again, but this time, it was fear that dominated, a visceral fear that you couldn't shake. He stared at you, his gaze as dark and unfathomable as the abyss. A part of you wanted to back away, to flee this intensity, but another part, more secret, more buried, burned with the same fire as him. It was a dangerous fire, a flame that risked engulfing everything it touched if you gave in to it. You were no longer in control of your body, or your thoughts. Every fiber of your being was caught in this spiral, swallowed up by him, by everything he gave off.
His hands rested on your arms, at first unreal softly. But you felt the strength behind this contact, each finger brushing you with a delicacy that barely concealed an urgency, a restrained violence. It was as if you were a rope stretched to the limit, ready to give way under this pressure. Sunghoon's fingers closed slightly on your skin, making you shiver, like a warning. Each touch electrified you, but also frightened you, because you knew that what he was holding back could explode at any moment.
You couldn't escape him. He paralyzed you, from head to toe, like an invisible embrace but more powerful than any physical force. Every word, every gesture, dug a chasm between you, pushing you further and further into this night of uncertainties and possibilities. And yet, a part of you felt surprisingly calm. But this inner calm was only a fragile facade, which would last only a few seconds before the storm broke. And in that suspended moment, as he held you there, so close, you understood that the storm had already begun.
Sunghoon was no longer the same man you knew. He was no longer the man you thought you understood. Tonight, he was a rougher, wilder, more desperate version of himself. And you weren't the same either. You found yourself caught in this whirlwind, a spectator and an actress in this moment, unable to detach yourself from it, unable to escape this tension that was devouring you. The air was heavy, saturated with desire, frustration and need, and at that precise moment, you knew that nothing would ever be the same again.
âI⌠I donât know who I am anymore,â he whispered, his voice hoarse, broken by an emotion he never wanted to show you again. His words seemed to tear themselves away from him, painful, like a confession he had never dared to make. He was there, in front of you, completely immersed in a vulnerability that made him almost unreal. Yet, every gesture, every movement he made betrayed an urgency, a desire to find himself in your arms. He approached slowly, his forehead brushing yours, an almost timid contact, as if he needed this proximity to breathe, as if your lips were the only thing that could save him.
You felt his hands slide, gently at first, then with a slight firmness, from your arms to your waist. When he finally pulled you against him, it was with such intensity, such urgency, that you almost lost your breath. An electric shock spread through your body, soft and brutal at the same time, a shiver that was born in the pit of your stomach, mixing desire and an unspeakable fear. Sunghoon pulled you towards him, as if you were the only thing capable of filling this void in which he was drowning. The world around you seemed to disappear, like a mist dissipated by the heat of your bodies, and there was only the two of you, alone, suspended in a space saturated with tension. The air seemed too heavy, too charged with this shared emotion, and you could almost hear the electric hum of the tension that floated between your bodies.
His hands slid slowly along your waist, brushing your skin with an almost unbearable slowness. Each movement was an exploration, an intimate search, as if he wanted to imprint every curve, every detail of your body in his memory, to mark his possession. It was not just a physical contact. It was a path of fire that ran through your skin, a soft but penetrating burn, awakening in you an incandescent, irresistible desire. And yet, in this burning fever, a dull fear invaded you. What would happen if you gave in to this call? If you abandoned yourself to him in this fragility, in this confusion? Doubt crept into you, but it was drowned under the wave of heat that rose in your veins.
âI see you⌠I feel you,â he whispered, his voice trembling, each word infused with an intense heat, almost a plea. He leaned down then, his lips brushing your ear, a hot, almost possessive breath that made an uncontrollable shiver run through your skin. âDonât leave me⌠Donât push me away.â
Those words, loaded with desire and desperation, hit you right in the heart. You knew he needed you, but did you know what you could offer him in this state? Was it even possible to bear such intensity? Sunghoon came closer, so close that you could feel the weight of his body against yours, like an unbearable heat that invaded the space around you. His hands slid down your back, his fingers tracing burning lines on your skin, marking the air between you with each movement. It wasn't just a caress, it was a silent claim, an act of possession, a way of reminding you that you were his. All his. In that suspended moment, you felt torn between two opposing forces. A part of you, drowned in fear, tensed, ready to flee, while another, darker, deeper, let itself be swallowed up by this intensity. That all-consuming, almost destructive force that emanated from him seemed to arouse an insane desire in you, an urgency you would never have imagined.
The danger in his eyes, in his gestures, paralyzed you, but in a strange way, you let yourself be enveloped by this proximity. You knew that you should be afraid, that this excessive heat, this too powerful desire were warning signs, but instead of fleeing, you let yourself be overwhelmed by it. Each movement of his body against yours, each breath, each brush rekindled a fire in you, a fire that you did not want, but that you could no longer extinguish.
âTell me,â he whispered, his voice almost pleading, vulnerability cutting through his words like a blade. His hands tightened on your skin then, his fingers digging into your flesh with an almost painful force, but you didnât struggle. You didnât move. You didnât want to run. Not now. Not when he looked so broken, so lost. âTell me youâre here. That youâre not leaving.â
His hands, which had become invisible chains, encircled you more and more, each movement making him more present, more indispensable. The warmth of his body, the strength of his desire, the pressure of his hands paralyzed you, but at the same time, a strange peace invaded you. A gentle resignation, as if you were agreeing to let yourself be engulfed by the inner storm that raged inside him, inside you. It was a fragile moment, suspended between two worlds, where you stopped fighting against the intensity of the moment.
âIâm here,â you whispered, your voice trembling, a breath almost inaudible, but infinitely sincere. âIâm not leaving, Sunghoon.â
At these words, you felt his body relax slightly against yours, as if, for a fleeting moment, he had found a semblance of peace in the warmth of your embrace. But this peace, you knew, was only a fragile illusion, ready to dissipate at the slightest tension. He held you against him with such force that it was almost suffocating, as if his body was trying to merge with yours, to erase all the distances between you. Sunghoon needed you, more than you could imagine, and this urgency in his gestures struck you right in the heart. He feared, you saw it in every movement, that you would disappear, that all this was only an ephemeral dream ready to shatter in an instant. His lips, until now barely brushing your skin, finally slid against your neck, slowly, like a burning caress, tracing a fiery line from your ear to your shoulder. It wasn't a simple kiss or a touch: it was a mark. A silent but definitive marking.
âYou belong to me,â he whispered against your skin, his voice husky, haunting, filled with an icy certainty that sent shivers down your spine. Every word was heavy with meaning, every syllable filled with a consuming conviction. âAnd I wonât let you go. Ever.â
There was a force in his words that almost crushed you. The finality, the inflexibility of what he was saying, held you in an invisible grip. It was a statement, a promise. And you knew that he wasn't just talking about you as a person, but about this obsession that consumed him, this need to keep you close to him, against him. A part of you, probably the most lucid, rebelled against the idea of ââthis bond so implacable, so possessive. But another part of you, deeper, more vulnerable, was fascinated by the raw force of his desire, by the intensity with which he seemed to implore you without a word, without the slightest confession. It was terrifying, you knew it. But it captivated you just as much.
His hands moved up your back, caressing the skin of your body with an unbearable slowness. Each movement seemed both calm and desperate, as if he was trying not to lose everything every second. You felt the warmth of his palms, the urgency in his gestures that nevertheless lingered on each curve, on each small detail of your skin. When he buried his face in the hollow of your neck, you shuddered under the intensity of his hot breath that brushed your skin with an almost painful tenderness. The smell of his perfume, mixed with that of sweat, desire and adrenaline, invaded the air around you, intoxicating each of your senses, making you insensitive to the rest of the world. The air was thick, charged with this palpable energy that seemed to surround you, to impregnate you. You could feel the tension in his muscles, his inner struggle not to give in to the madness that devoured him.
You knew that his desire, his need for you, was not simple. It was not only fueled by attraction, by a shared passion. No, it was more complex, more terrifying. His desire was fueled by anger, by a pain that he could not tame. He carried within him a dull rage, an inner violence that he tried to control, but which, with each contact, seemed to intensify, to burst with a devastating force. It was this internal fight, this struggle between pain and passion, between light and darkness, that paralyzed you and fascinated you at the same time. It was this part of Sunghoon, this dark part that he could not control, that left you breathless.
Sunghoon pulled you even closer, if that was possible, his body pressed against yours with such force that you could feel every beat of his heart, every gasping breath he took, as if his lungs and yours were trying to intertwine, to merge into one rhythm. The intensity of this moment was almost unbearable, overwhelming, each second stretching out, weighing on you like a metal bell, forcing you to feel every movement, every breath. You could feel the adrenaline pulsing through your veins, urging you to answer his call, to surrender to this heat, to this irresistible desire that was rising inside you, relentless.
In this whirlwind of conflicting emotions, a part of you felt guilty, frightened by the way you gave yourself over to him, by the ease with which you let yourself be carried away in this whirlwind. The guilt rose in you like a swell ready to submerge you. But it quickly drowned under the immensity of desire, under the passion that united you. His hands slid along your body with a devastating certainty, as if he needed to possess you, to mark every inch of your skin so that there would be no more doubt: you were his. Not only physically, but also spiritually. Each shiver he caused in you was delicious and disturbing at the same time. It was a mixture of pleasure and fear, an unstable balance that you were content to live, blinded by the intensity of the moment.
Sunghoon, you knew, was a broken man, and that came at a price. You had seen it, you had felt it in every gesture, in every word. He was not whole, he was fractured, torn apart by something bigger than him. And you were there, caught in this tornado, unable to detach yourself from it. But in his eyes, in this glow that cut through the mist of his suffering, you also perceived something else. A glimmer of hope, a quest for redemption that he could not even recognize, even to himself. It was this glow, fragile, uncertain, that still held you back. Because despite everything that was chaotic and broken between you, you perceived this part of him that was looking for something more, something better. And in this inner struggle, you could not help but lose yourself a little more each day.
The beating of his heart echoed against your chest, and in this strange suspension of time, you felt a tremor of apprehension that mixed with a burning desire. This was no longer simply a moment between you, but a boundary crossed, a point of no return that changed everything. The future stretched out before you, uncertain and threatening, but the reality of what you shared there, in this unsettling proximity, was undeniable, brutal and strangely beautiful in its dark depth.
âLet me use you, Y/n⌠I need it.â His voice rose, soft but charged with an unfathomable urgency, each word vibrating with that irrepressible need. There was a gravity in his whisper, as if his voice itself carried the weight of his darkest desires. Sunghoonâs lips brushed your delicate skin, sliding with a burning slowness, each brush sending electric shocks through your body. The heat of his breath against your neck made you shiver, a visceral desire that rose, more and more insistent, more and more relentless. He nipped at your skin with a possessive gentleness, leaving hot and marked marks, each touch igniting a flame in your belly, a flame that seemed to engulf everything else.
Your heart raced, your breath shortened as you slid a hand around his back, pressing him against you with an irresistible force. Your body reacted uncontrollably to this call, to this shared desire that made everything around you waver. Nodding slowly, you felt the tension in his gaze, this gleam that lit up in his pupils, as wild as it was possessive, promising a night without restraint, an unbridled pleasure where you were both the object and the center of everything he desired. His eyes, inflamed by an older, deeper thirst, shone with a primal need that you could not ignore, an emotion that went far beyond physical attraction.
In a fluid but determined movement, he lifted you up, as if you were nothing but a breath, suspended for a moment, his powerful body tightening around yours with an authority that made you shiver. His arms closed around you with the firmness of a man who knew exactly what he wanted, what he needed. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pressing yourself against him, and you felt the warmth of his skin against yours, every muscle tense, every heartbeat like an echo of your own. The anticipation rose with every step he took towards your room, every movement of his body bringing you closer to irreversibility, as if everything that was about to happen was written in the air between you. The air was saturated with desire, with that palpable energy, every second pushing you to want even more of him.
When he laid you down on the bed, the mattress felt like both a refuge and an invitation to lose yourself. The feel of the blanket under your back was comforting and electrifying at the same time, a promise to release all resistance, to dive into this sea of ââconfused but irresistible emotions. Sunghoon, above you, positioned himself with a quiet dominance, and you couldn't help but be struck by the intensity of his presence, both intoxicating and terrifying. It was a force that stunned and attracted you, a magnetism that left you vulnerable, but at the same time, ready to give yourself entirely. You could feel your entire body tense under him, the warmth of his body close to yours as a constant reminder of what was happening here.
Your gaze locked with his, a storm of conflicting thoughts. There was a burning passion in his eyes that pierced you, as if he were trying to pierce the deepest layers of your being. Every beat of your heart resonated within you, every breath shorter than the last. When he kissed your cheek, his lips brushed your skin with a burning heat, a sensation that traced a shiver down your spine. It was a possessive sweetness, a gesture both tender and full of promise, but also of an implacable certainty. He was marking you, not just physically, but in everything you felt, everything you were.
You could feel the struggle inside him, that strange mix of desire, anger, and an overwhelming need to keep you close. His gestures were both urgent and disconcertingly gentle, as if he wanted to reassure himself that you were there, that you weren't going to disappear. But in that tension, you could also sense something even deeper, a fragility he was hiding, an old wound he didn't know how to heal. And despite the confusion, despite the fear that was growing deep inside you, you let yourself be carried away by this storm.
His hands moved forward slowly, almost with palpable impatience, searching for the fabric of your top as if he couldnât wait to discover what was hidden underneath. When he touched the fabric, he seemed to hesitate for a moment, enjoying the contact before slowly sliding it over your skin. His fingers were cold, but the shiver they triggered wasnât due to the coldness. Sunghoon brushed your skin delicately, and with each touch, a soft sigh of desire mingled with the growing tension between you. When he removed your top, he did so with calculated slowness, taking his time to reveal your bare skin to the dim light of the room, each movement imbued with power and control. His gaze intensified, scrutinizing every curve of your body with an almost palpable obsession. He kept devouring you with his eyes, as if the sight of your bare skin was the only thing that existed anymore. Every inch of your body seemed to attract him even more, like prey that he was slowly savoring.
Sunghoon pulled away from you for a moment, but it was only to get closer, sliding slowly down. His tongue, hot and wet, grazed your skin, tracing burning lines on your stomach, each gesture gentle but determined. The feeling of his tongue sliding over you made you shiver, a wave of heat took hold of your body, a quivering anticipation overwhelmed you. He seemed to taste every moment, every bit of your skin, as if he wanted to lose himself in this sensation for eternity. He went even lower, and the slowness of his movements drove you crazy with impatience, each movement stretching, accentuating the unbearable desire that was rising in you.
When he pulled off your sweatpants, his slowness was almost unbearable. You were completely exposed to him now, every inch of your body offered to his hungry gaze. The tension in the air was palpable, almost electric, as if every breath, every movement, was charged with a desire that was just waiting to explode. He didn't take his eyes off you, his dark pupils fixed on you, and you could feel an almost possessive devotion emanating from him. He looked at you as if he was marking you, as if you were becoming his definitively with each passing second.
Sunghoon pulled away briefly before positioning himself behind you. A shiver of anticipation ran through your body as he turned you around abruptly, forcing you onto all fours, your hands quivering against the bed. This position, more vulnerable than ever, brought out in you a total submission, but also a strange feeling of control, as if you were offering everything you were, and he was the one who decided the moment, the pace. He placed a firm hand on your hips, immobilizing you for a moment before hitting your buttocks with a sharp blow. The sound of the impact resonated in the room, powerful, like a signature of authority. The pain was sharp, but it immediately mixed with an intense pleasure, a heat that invaded every part of your body. A cry escaped your lips, almost involuntary, a sound of pain and pleasure mixed together, a symphony of sensations that you could no longer distinguish.
He struck again, and this time, you lost yourself in the sweet pain, each impact a shock that made your senses vibrate. His nails dug into your skin, marking your flesh with a deep imprint, as if he were claiming you in the most primal way. There was no more room for thought, just a whirlwind of raw sensations that invaded your mind. His blows were more intense, deeper, each gesture a proof of his total control, but also an invitation to abandon yourself to him. You felt your body tense under him, ready to respond to every impulse, every gesture from him.
An involuntary moan escaped your throat, and he followed it with a low, almost mocking laugh before whispering, his voice husky and full of desire, âYouâre so wet for me, princess⌠youâve wanted my cock for a long time, havenât you?â His voice was soft, almost bittersweet, and every word he spoke seemed to penetrate your mind, slipping into your deepest thoughts. His eyes never left your body, he watched with almost clinical attention the way your arousal slowly slid down your thigh, the liquid becoming an obvious mark of your desire.Â
âSunghoon⌠take me, donât keep me waiting,â you whispered, your voice broken, trembling, an almost desperate plea escaping your lips. Each syllable was a torture of impatience and uncontrollable desire. You heard his laughter echo through the room, a promise of imminent pleasure, a warning too, a signal that the moment had finally come. The sound of his clothes being torn made you shiver, each movement increasing the anticipation that consumed you. When he finally placed the tip of his desire against your intimacy, a shiver of excitement ran through you, making you aware of every sensation, every moment that preceded the explosion of desire.
âIâm not going to be gentle, princess,â he growled, and in one brutal motion, he thrust into you, letting his cock sink deep, like a devastating wave. The pain was intense, a brutal shock that left you speechless for a moment. But it quickly transformed into a searing ecstasy, a pleasure that unfolded with every movement, every thrust. The world seemed to shrink at the sensation, your body tensing, folding around him, struggling to match his relentless pace. You felt your stomach and your innermost core buckle under the impact, each thrust pushing him deeper into you, until you were one with him, a single entity.Â
You moaned, lost in the fusion of sensations, a cry escaping from your throat with each movement, with each thrust. Sunghoon held on tightly to you, his hands digging into your skin, the rhythm of his movements becoming more powerful, more relentless, until you lost all sense of time, letting yourself be carried away by this wave of ecstasy and pain.Â
His nails dug into your flesh as you desperately clung to the sheets of the bed, your breathing erratic, almost desperate. Every movement of his body against yours caused a whirlwind of emotions, and you felt yourself losing yourself in the warmth of his embrace. His pace was relentless, almost wild, each thrust making you cry out in pleasure, each impact bringing you closer to the edge of ecstasy. The room was filled with the sounds of skin against skin, moans and panting breaths, a chaotic melody of unquenchable desire that consumed you both.
Sunghoon leaned down, his tongue grazing your skin, tracing hot lines on your back, each movement both gentle and devastating. His breath was hot and heavy against your skin, each moan you let out giving him more power over you, intensifying his already voracious desire. He pushed even deeper, each thrust piercing you, making you lose all sense of reality, almost making you drunk. The room became a world of its own, a sanctuary of passion where every shudder of his body against yours became a declaration of his desire.
Each thrust seemed to resonate through every fiber of your being, sending you into a spiral of ecstasy. You felt like you were burning from the inside out, eager to explode, to reach that apotheosis that seemed so close and yet so far away. His pace became frantic, a wild dance between pain and pleasure as you clutched at the sheets, your voice echoing in the darkness, a mixture of pleas and cries of pleasure.
âI want more of you, princess.â Sunghoon moaned, his voice husky and eager, vibrating through the air thick with palpable tension. The way he said the words consumed you, each syllable resonating like a drum to the frantic rhythm of your heart. There was a promise of all-consuming pleasure in his tone, one you yearned for. His burning gaze lingered on you, a flame in his eyes that stirred buried instincts.
He grabbed your hair in a firm grip, his fingers digging into your locks with a force that was both sweet pain and delectable submission. The back of your skull flexed slightly under the pressure, plunging you into a state of exhilarating vulnerability. The pain on your scalp stirred a delicious resonance within you, an anticipation that made you shiver with desire. The sensations mingled, and you knew you were about to be swept away into his world.
A strangled cry escapes your lips, a sound you canât control as he arches your back, lifting your body to offer you entirely to him. The tension in the air is electrifying, a static charge that makes you feel alive. You feel the overwhelming heat of his body close to yours, his firm, powerful muscles pressed against your skin, making you aware of every inch of his surface. He leans closer, his hot breath caressing your neck, sending shivers through your being. âMoan louder for me,â he whispers, each word stimulating your soul, a command youâre ready to follow.
His voice, soft and commanding, envelops you, awakening a primal need in you, a need to abandon all barriers. âI want to hear everything⌠I want to know how good I make you feel.â His demand, both possessive and greedy, resonates in your mind like an intoxicating melody. The way he looks at you, with a mixture of pain and love, makes you shiver, aware of your role and your place in this obscene exchange.
You are overwhelmed by this need to please him, to be his object of desire. He lets his tongue slide slowly over the sweat that beads on your skin, each caress causing a shiver of pleasure. His delicate gestures contrast with the brutality of his intentions, a dance between gentleness and violence that slowly consumes you. The sensation of his tongue on your skin is both soothing and exhilarating, like a burning fire that spreads through your body, burning every fiber of your being. Each movement is loaded with obscene promises, and you feel your heart beating wildly, excitement and fear merging into a unique melody of ecstasy.
He begins to suckle at your skin, nibbling gently but with an intensity that makes you shudder in anticipation. His lips, hot and eager, slide down your body, awakening torrid sensations that spread from your neck to your spine. With each movement, he sinks deeper into you, your heat enveloping him, making you moan louder. Those moans, an exquisite mix of pleasure and pain, turn into a primal scream, a scream that testifies to your total surrender to his unbridled desires. Itâs an instinctive reaction, a response to the wild nature of whatâs unfolding between you.
His fingers grip your hair, tugging harder to pull your face towards him, forcing your gaze to meet his. Youâre at his mercy, completely submissive to his desire, and that vulnerability excites you in a way youâve never experienced before. Every breath feels heavier, every beat of your heart echoing like a war drum in the tense air. Sunghoonâs lips slide down to your neck, nibbling with delicious precision, and you swallow slowly, shivering under his touch. A mixture of excitement and fear pulses through your veins, like a sweet, addictive drug.
He intensifies his movements, spreading your walls, reaching depths you didn't even know were possible. The feeling of his manhood swelling inside you is breathtaking, an explosion of sensations that plunges you into a world where only his body exists. The stars dance before your eyes, a dazzling glow, accompanying your moans of pleasure and anguish. Each blow resonates inside you like a shockwave, pushing you further into the abyss of ecstasy, each impact vibrating the strings of your desire.
âSunghoon⌠oh my God! You fuck me so good!â You cry out, your voice a mixture of pleasure and desperation, each syllable a confession of your total surrender. Tears stream down your cheeks, testifying to the intensity of your sensations, a mixture of delicious pain and immeasurable pleasure. You feel both freed and trapped in this whirlwind of emotions, a contradiction within you that you cannot ignore. He pushes you roughly onto the bed, withdrawing from you for a moment, leaving a painful void that makes you moan at the loss of this essential connection. This withdrawal, far from being a punishment, reminds you of the depth of your desire for him, a depth that you had never dared to imagine.
âDonât stop⌠please.â Your voice trembles, weak and cracked, the plea evident in every word. You lean into him, desperate to regain his touch, pressing your ass against his hardness. But he pushes you back slightly, a defiant smile on his lips, a smirk that expresses the complete control he exerts over you. This power play, this dynamic between you, excites you in ways you never thought possible, a dangerous dance on the edge of the abyss.
âYouâre such a slut to me, Y/n.â His voice is full of delight, each word sliding over your skin like a caress, as the smack of your ass echoes through the room as he hits you. The blow, though painful, is tinged with a voluptuousness that you canât ignore. The burning pleasure of this humiliation makes you moan, and when his manhood enters you again, a cry of bliss passes your lips. Your body arches, welcoming this intrusion with greed, every fiber of your being resonating in unison with his desire, a desire that consumes you.
He presses your head into the pillows with one hand, pinning your face, while the other slides under your stomach, pulling you up slightly. The movements start slowly, each stroke a mixture of gentle and brutal, a hypnotic rhythm that seems to resonate in every fiber of your being. Your moans are muffled by the mattress as he pushes your head deeper and deeper into the bed, making you lose all sense of time and reality. The outside world disappears, leaving only the intensity of this shared moment, the fusion of your bodies like a sacred dance, a communion in pain and pleasure.
âIâll never stop,â he declares with a savage determination, a promise of submission and power. The blows grow more powerful, each impact resonating in your flesh like a violent melody, a symphony of pain and pleasure. His nails dig into the tender flesh of your stomach, marking your body with his imprint, each pressure making you moan louder, like a war chant. The pain becomes a caress, and you know youâre at his mercy, each sensation intensifying the obscene bond between you.
You tighten around him, your body pulsing with every movement, each thrust making him sink deeper into you. âFuck, youâre clenching tighter around me, princess,â he says, increasing his pressure on your stomach, making you feel every inch of his manhood. The thrusts become more intense, each movement pushing you to the edge of ecstasy.
The pace becomes frantic, every movement of his body against yours a declaration of power and possession. You feel your body react, contorting around him, and a cry of pleasure escapes your lips as you reach the limits of your own pain and pleasure, lost in an ocean of sensations. Each wave overwhelms you until you can no longer distinguish where pleasure begins and pain ends. In this trance, you are both the witness and the protagonist of this torrid encounter, aware of the ecstasy that builds with each second.
Your mind drifts, each blow transporting you further into oblivion, a whirlwind of pleasure and pain that drags you to a point of no return. The walls of the room blur, the outside world fades away, leaving only him and you, bound by this obscene and passionate bond. Each second becomes an eternity, a dance where you are both the dancer and the puppet, entirely at his mercy.
Breathless, you feel the orgasm looming on the horizon, a storm of sensations that threatens to engulf you. Every movement, every thrust brings you a little closer to this explosive denouement, a release of all the accumulated tensions. Your body is on fire, consumed by desire, and as the orgasm approaches, you know you are ready to let yourself be carried away, to dive into this abyss of pleasure and pain that he has created for you.
In a final thrust, as the pressure reaches its peak, your body arches, and you scream his name, a cry that mixes pain and bliss. It's a primal scream, a total release, and in that moment, you know you are truly his, entirely, without reserve. The wave of pleasure carries you away, submerges you, and in this sea of ââsensations, you finally find peace, a fragile balance between love, pain, and pleasure.
Sunghoon doesnât slow his pace, even after the orgasm has rocked your body, leaving you panting, your breathing erratic and panting. His movements are brutal, filled with a savage intensity that vibrates every fiber of your being. He continues to bury your head into the pillows, plunging you into a damp darkness where only the sound of his hips slapping against your ass resonates. This sound is the echo of his power, a primal rhythm that resonates in your flesh, awakening an animal desire that engulfs you.
His fingers, large and powerful, explore your stomach, slowly descending towards your waist which he grips with force, as if he wanted to anchor you in this carnal reality that he imposes. The heat of his hand on your skin is both a caress and a threat. You feel the fire spreading under his fingers, an insatiable desire that consumes you. Your stomach contracts under his hand, each movement of his body reminding you that you are completely his, that you belong to him absolutely.
A guttural growl escapes his throat, an expression of bestial pleasure that intensifies with each thrust. He thrusts into you with such vigor that pain mixes with pleasure, each stroke making you gasp, your body arching involuntarily to accommodate him deeper. Each thrust is a mix of force and sensuality, a wild dance between submission and power. You are aware of every fiber of your body, the tingles that run through your skin, the adrenaline that pulses through your veins. The sheets of the bed are pulled back in a chaotic mess, testifying to the intensity of his assaults, and you feel yourself sucked into the mattress with each impact, as if you become an integral part of this space, an extension of his desire.
When his come washes over you, itâs like a surge of heat and dominance. His heavy body collapses onto yours, his muscles pressing against your back, holding you firmly against him. You feel the heat of his breath sliding down your neck, mingling with the sweat that beads on your skin. The contact makes you shiver, each breath punctuated by moans of satisfaction. You realize that youâre seeking this warmth, this connection, this feeling of fullness that only he can give you.
Sunghoon pulls out slowly, his manhood sliding out of you with a wet sound, before turning you around with disconcerting speed, placing you in front of him like a puppet at his mercy. The intimacy of this position makes you feel a mixture of vulnerability and arousal, a palpable tension vibrating in the air between you. You feel the mixture of your fluids escaping your body, a tangible reminder of the heat of your embrace. Sunghoon grips your jaw in his hands, his fingers squeezing your skin with undeniable possessiveness. He wants to make sure you belong to him, that you are fully aware of his hold on you.
His eyes bore into yours, brimming with a darkness that made you tremble. Their depth was both hypnotic and threatening, an abyss where you could lose yourself. He stepped closer, his mouth brushing yours, his warm, luscious lips promising you something intense, something delicious. When his warm, wet tongue slid over your lips, a wave of desire washed over you, a promise of what was to come.
You open your mouth, inviting him in, thirsty for what he has to offer. His tongue wraps around yours with delicious fervor, exploring every corner of your mouth. The movements of his tongue are both dominating and tender, creating a perfect blend of power and sensuality. He explores your mouth with expert mastery, his gestures becoming more and more demanding, as if he wants to take you into a hypnotic dance.
His tongue slides against yours, finding its way into every nook and cranny, creating a connection that transcends a simple kiss. He begins to suck tenderly at your flesh, his teeth delicately grazing your lips, adding a new dimension to what heâs doing to you. The sensations intensify; each pull, each squeeze makes you moan quietly, a melody of need and pleasure rising between you. The taste of him and the two of you mingled explodes on your tongue, a fusion that awakens deeply buried instincts.
His lips are warm and soft, but also possessive, marking their territory on your flesh. With each movement, you feel the desire intensify, making you capsize in an ocean of sensations. His kisses become a clash, a dance between softness and brutality. He deepens his hold on you, encouraging you to submit to this shared desire, to embrace this connection both tender and wild.
Your breaths sync up, clash and mingle, as the passion intensifies. You are trapped in this kiss, aware of how its power consumes you. You know you are his, body and soul, ready to explore the limits of this all-consuming desire. Every movement, every exchange of breath between you seems to create a stronger bond, as if every caress, every sigh, attaches you a little more to him.
Sunghoon pulls away from your lips, gently tugging at your bottom lip with his teeth, a gesture that is both possessive and hungry. The moment is charged with tension, a mixture of pain and pleasure that makes you moan under your breath, your breath hitching under the intensity of his gaze. âYouâre making me lose control,â he murmurs, his voice husky and eager, like a predator intoxicated by its prey. As he lies on his back, he pulls you against him, and you let him, bending to his authority.
Your body presses against his, his warmth enveloping you. His hands slide down your back, tracing familiar patterns on your damp skin, and each touch sends shivers down your spine. You moan softly, breath coming out of your chest as you sink into the crook of his neck, feeling his musky scent mix with the sweat that beads on his skin. He shudders beneath your lips, his muscles contracting as your soft, wet kisses trail over his flesh.
âThen let yourself go,â you whisper, your voice almost a breath, kissing the pulse throbbing against his neck. The softness of your lips against his marble-hard skin contrasts with the rawness of his desire. He tightens his hold on you, his hand sliding authoritatively along your waist, moving to your hips, an insistent pressure that makes you feel his burning need. His fingers dig into your flesh, leaving a visible mark of his possessive hold, an affirmation of your submission to his desire.
âWhat if you canât handle it?â he asks, his voice soft, but thereâs an underlying intensity in his words. Heâs worried, and that vulnerability touches you. You can see the internal struggle in his eyes, that irrational fear that youâll one day pull away, that youâll discover the depth of his inner demons and no longer be able to handle the truth of who he is. Heâs broken, and despite his strong exterior, heâs walking a fine line between passion and despair.
Youâre here, in his arms, and you know that youâre not just a simple object of desire for him. Youâre his anchor, the one that ties him to reality. âIâm here,â you assure him, your hand slipping into his hair, tugging lightly to get his attention. Your gaze sinks into his, and in this silent exchange, you transmit the strength he needs. Sunghoon must know that you wonât leave him, even when his fears take shape in the darkness.
His hand, soft but firm, slides along your body, getting lost in the curve of your hips, then slowly rising to brush your waist. Each touch is electrifying, awakening sensations in your heart. Sunghoon approaches, his lips brushing the skin of your neck, his kisses becoming more insistent, more urgent. He consumes you, and you let yourself go to this euphoria, intoxicated by his tongue on your skin.
âYouâre all I need,â he says with heartbreaking intensity, his breath hot against your skin. His voice echoes like a desperate plea, a heartfelt cry that carries through the dark room. He begins to explore your body, his hands running over your skin, discovering every inch with a thoroughness that leaves you panting. His caresses become more urgent, and you can feel the tension rising between you, a fragile thread ready to snap.
As you let yourself be lulled by the warmth of his caresses, a new wave of desire blossoms deep within you, spreading through every fiber of your body. Sunghoon's fingers travel down your spine, tracing a line of fire across your sensitive skin. Every pressure of his hands, every movement of his fingers, is a silent promise, a whisper through your body. You arch your back instinctively, offering yourself fully to him, as if your body already understands that it exists only to belong to him.
Sunghoon descends slowly, his lips brushing every inch of your skin, tracing a burning path that makes you shiver. Each kiss is a soft burn, an invisible mark he places on you to remind you that you belong to him. His teeth graze the skin of your stomach, creating a light bite that makes you gasp, and he watches each of your shudders, each of your sighs, with an almost animal intensity, as if he savors each reaction, each emotion that bursts within you.
When he reaches your pelvis, he pauses for a moment, his fingers firmly on your hips, preventing you from moving. You feel vulnerable, offered, but there is in this vulnerability a promise of safety, as if, in this moment, he is ready to devour you while protecting you in the same breath. His lips brush your stomach one last time before he looks up at you, and in that dark gaze, you perceive a passion that takes your breath away.
Sunghoon begins to kiss you with an almost unsettling gentleness, his lips exploring your skin with a thoroughness that makes you shudder. His kisses are deep and passionate, each movement of his mouth on you resonating like an intimate caress, a gesture of pure possession. You feel your body react, your muscles tensing under the effect of this intense desire that consumes you. He murmurs inaudible words against your skin, as if he wanted to anchor himself in you, to engrave himself in your soul.
His hands slide along your thighs, and you feel his warm breath descend slowly. Each caress is calculated, controlled, as if he took pleasure in prolonging each second, in savoring each shiver that runs through your body. And while he explores your flesh with this intoxicating thoroughness, you lose all control, abandoning yourself completely to this whirlwind of sensations that overwhelms you.
As he holds you tightly, his hand tightens on your thigh with intense possessiveness. âYou know you belong to me, right?â His voice, low and raspy, resonates in the thick air of the room, seeping into every corner of your being. You nod, unable to respond otherwise, captivated by this declaration that seems to seal your bond.
âSay it,â he demands, his fingers digging into your flesh, marking his presence, asserting his hold.
âI belong to you,â you whisper in a wavering voice, each word carrying the brutal truth. âBody and soul, I am yours.â
Taglist : @heeknow @moonpri
Šď¸devotedlypinkpeanut, do not copy, translate or repost any of my works.
#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon smut#kpop x reader#sunghoon fanfic#sunghoon fic#enhypen sunghoon#sunghoon#sunghoon x you#park sunghoon x reader#underground#sunghoon imagines#neighbor au#nurse reader#boxer#tw blood#dark romance#dark fiction#kpop imagine#kpop x you#kpop smut#kpop angst#sunghoon fluff#angst#Make Me Lose Control#degrade and humiliate me#degradation k1nk#humiliation kink#obscene#obsessive love#obsession
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Beauty and the Beast
art by ilameys
-Part One-
â ď¸: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT ⼠Manhandling, Slight body horror descriptions, descriptions of blood, himbo!doppelgänger!Francis Mosses, Yandere Behavior, Mentions of Stalking, sexualization of the female MC by Fake Francis, double SMUT(CNC and consensual separately =), and monster cock, Shibari
I write for free, but if you wanna further support me > Ko-Fi đ
Care for typos!
Francis decided he wanted to take things slow with you. He heard through the grapevine that your encounter with a doppelgänger was more than just a simple attack. He heard that it had violated you. Now you were being moderated by the D.D.D. It wasnât his fault but he still felt bad and used those feelings of guilt to be good to you.
The man was kind enough to take you to the local dress store so that you could pick out something new as a gift from him. You were worried that your incident with the doppelgänger would make you less desirable to Francis. At some point, youâd have to tell him that the creature took the form of him.
âHere, let me.â
You felt the presence of a large man behind you. He tugged the back of your dress, straightening it so that he could zip up the new dress. You couldnât help but blush at the contact. This is the closest the two of you had ever been. Years went by, and you could only meet him at your door or neighborhood events. Now, he was in your dressing room, touching your body.
Waitâtouching your bodyâŚ?
You felt his hand lingering on your back, slowly traveling lower and lowerâŚ
âExcuse me~!â You whipped around to face him. He was as red as a tomato with a surprised look. âYou havenât even gotten me a drink yet!â You joked cutely. It wasnât common for a woman to be forward the way you were, but you often got away with a lot of things because of your pretty privilege.
âS-Sorry, I was just straightening the fabric.â His rather deep voice was quite adorable when he was flushed. Your grin widened. It felt best to help him move things alongâŚjust a bit.
You stepped closer to him, grabbing both of his arms and ushering him to place them on your waist. He obeyed, wrapping his large hands around your midsection and pulling you closer.
âI didnât say I didnât like it.â You brought your bodies close enough to touch. Francis didnât say a word. You could tell that he was rather shy, but he didnât seem to be rejecting you.
You stood on your toes to place a kiss on his lips. His hands traveled from your waist to your ass, lifting you so that you wouldnât need to try as hard to reach him. The contact made you gasp and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth.Â
You moaned at how aggressive he was, your voice sending blood rushing to his cock. You immediately felt him grow and his hard dick brushed against your leg. Your thigh touched it, causing him to react even more to the situation.Â
Francis let go of you and broke away from the kiss. âNot here.â He said, quickly remembering that the two of you were in a public dressing room.Â
At first, you were confused but your face quickly lit up when you realized what was about to happen.
The milkman took you by your hand, leading you out of the clothing store and bringing you to his car. You didnât acknowledge it earlier, but he had a newer model. Perhaps, being a milkman paid well.
Just a month ago, you had felt as if you had no chance with this man. You thought that despite being the ideal woman a man desired, you simply werenât his type. It got to a point where you felt as though you were bland. Men were easy to you. Always. When they saw how pretty you were, theyâd easily fold and become easy to read but because everything was so easy, reading a man like Francis was hard.
But here you were, straddling him in the driver's seat of his car. The man was pretty timid but he knew what he wanted and he wanted you.
You ground your pussy on his bulge. You bit your lip and hummed at the sensation. You wanted to look as attractive as possible and your panties quickly became wet. Although he was hungry, he was really gentle. He left wet kisses on your collarbone, going up to your neck and face. His hands tugged at the thin fabric of your dress, threatening to tear it if he were too rough.
Your nipples hardened and you squeezed your eyes shut. Words couldnât describe how happy you were right now. All the pining paid off. But it was just more than sex. The marks and bruises left by Franz were still there and Francis didnât think any less of you. He still loved you all the same. Such traits are rare among men these days.
You felt his hand slip under your dress. His fingers grazed themselves over your damp fabric.
Snap!
âF-Francis?â You ceased your movements and looked him in the eye. Your face was hot with pleasure and embarrassment. He looked somewhat surprised as well. âI-Iâll buy you new ones.â
He used his strength to tear the fabric of your bottoms under your dress. His forwardness took you aback but it turned you on even more. His being quite unsure of himself only added to his attractiveness. It made you want to guide him.Â
âOf course,â You licked your lips. âAnd I want a new pair of shoes as well.â You chirped, happily. Your hands were already resting on his chest. They traveled down and you made the mental note that you hadnât seen him in anything else but his work clothes until todayâŚbut he still decided to wear a white T-shirt. White suited him well.
Your free hand tugged at his trousers. You were ready to finally have him. âAre you sure?â You heard him say with uncertainty but his actions communicated otherwise. He helped you free his cock from his pants. You didnât know why but you thought of Franz and how big he was. You were grateful that Francis has a normal sizeâno, above average size.
His tip was shiny with precum, it was already smeared on the abdomen of your newly purchased dress.
âI am sure.â You reassured him. âIf you want, I can lead.â You offered. You felt him squirm beneath you. How long has it been since he was with a woman?
He shook his head. âNo, itâs fine.â He told you. âI just donât want to mess this up.â His face was as red as a tomato and his eyes were filled with lust. Your face grew warmer. He could be so hot without trying. You eased yourself and allowed him to take control.
You felt Francisâ hand creep up behind your neck while the other subtly slipped up your dress. You didnât even know until you felt his palm and fingers gripping your plump ass cheek. Upon taking you in his hand, he bit his lip, jiggling your ass meekly. His cock pulsated and leaked from the tip due to his actions. You blushed too, your panties getting wet from being touched in such a way.
âF-FrancisâMmmâŚâ His large hand guided you down to his lips, silencing you in the prettiest way. His kisses were short and hurried, it seemed like he was more concerned at feeling you up from the back. In the midst of it all, he pulled and tugged at your bottoms until he was able to pull them to the side. You grabbed his dick and pushed it between your lips. You almost jumped when you felt his warm tip in your folds.Â
âMm!â You tried to pull away but his grasp on the back of your neck wouldnât let you move as freely as you desired. His tongue forced its way inside, exploring the warm, wet cavern that was your mouth. You have no idea how many times heâs imagined doing this to you. A part of Francis thought that this was a dream. One that he didnât want to wake up from.
When Francis pulled away, you saw how his breath hitched. His skin flushed red while he huffed for air because of all the kissing.Â
His hand moved from the back of your neck to your hips. He liked the way you felt on top of him. Your sexes were so close that he could probably slip his dick inside without you even realizing it at first.
â(y/n), let me put it inside.â He muttered, lowly. It almost made you laugh. Was he still asking for consent this far in? What a gentleman. âFranciââ You opened your mouth to speak but his muttering continued.
âPlease, please please, let me put it in. I want to feel you.â
Your abdomen burned with delight. You never thought youâd be able to get Francis of all people to beg to fuck you. Having his attention made you feel sexy.
âOf course, my love.â You smiled attractively before having your pelvis brutally slammed down on his cock. The way he entered you was so perfect. He was just the right size for you.
You began to take part with him, moving your hips on his groin as best as you could. All he could do was moan your name, not caring that at any moment someone could hear him and know exactly what you were doing to him.
âFrancâah!â You pleasured yourself on his cock and you could feel yourself heating up. Your juices mixed, causing the slick to drip from inside of you onto his pelvis. It was so close to getting on his clothes.
âMmm.â You hummed in delight. âJust like that.â
At that moment, it felt like the two of you were perfect for each other. You couldnât believe how reserved he always was with you and it was so much to the point where you didnât even think he liked you. Now, here he was, fucking into you like a dog in heat, moaning your name like the two of you werenât still in public. The riskiness made things so much better!
âFuck, Iâm gonna c-cum, sweetheart!â His voice was so delightful! The way he squirmed underneath you was so satisfying.
âGo on then~ Cum for me.â You leaned forward so that your torsos touched. Your nose brushed his and his warm breath hit your face. âJust make sure to pullââ
A rush of his liquid filled you up and painted your walls.
Out.
In one large motion, Francis slammed into you, forcing you to stay on his cock whether you wanted to or not. A warm feeling filled your hole so much that it leaked from your womb, down his shaft, and onto both of your clothes. It made you climax as well. You rode your high and tried to push yourself off of him to get him to pull out but your legs were too weak from the sexual activity.
The next few minutes that followed were awkward, to say the least.
You were sitting in the passenger seat of his car again, feeling the leftover cum pooling inside of your panties. You hadnât spoken a word since the two of you finished but you could tell that Francis was getting a bit antsy.
You had occupied yourself by looking out the window as he drove. Through the reflection, you could see him glance at you from time to time as if he wanted to speak but was too nervous to.Â
The two of you were almost at your apartment when he finally gained the courage to address the elephant in the room.
âI-Iâm sorry for, uh, finishing inside of you like that.â He muttered quickly. You raise your hands slightly. âOh no! It was just a heat of the moment thing, I understandââ
âIf you get p-pregnant, you know, I can provide for youâŚâ
Your heart clenched. Youâd hate for your motherhood to begin because of some split-second decision to have sex but youâve been pining after Francis for the better part of a few years.Â
The car came to a slow and what awaited to the side of you was your apartment complex. You only blinked, a delayed response just on the tip of your tongue. How would you be able to tell him that you could already be pregnant�
ââŚIâd like that very much.â A subtle blush warmed your cheeks. Your brain made you feel better by imagining what it would be like to start a family with him. He was a father of one already so he should be familiar with being a husband and parent.
Your expression caused him to blush as well. You felt like a teenager again, doing risky things like sex in a car with your long-time crush.Â
Francis informed you that he had planned to take his daughter and some of her friends from school to the carnival. You wished that you couldâve accompanied him but it mightâve been too awkward with the daughter of his ex-wife.
Upon exchanging a kiss goodbye, you exited his vehicle and went to check yourself in so that you could rest. The new attendant was a young man that you hadnât seen before. He seems to enjoy his job regardless. You submitted your paperwork and you were quickly identified as the real deal.
It wasnât the first time but you couldnât help but get the looming feeling of being watched every time you had gotten to your door. When you reach for your doorknob, you can still feel the huge figure of Franz standing behind you. It was like you were still experiencing that horrible tragedyâŚ
Even if it felt good.
You mentioned it to your therapist immediately and she just told you that the trauma would linger a while longer since it was so fresh.
You entered your home, quickly making your way to your room to change out of your clothing and freshen up in the bathroom. Post-sex self-care is extremely crucial for a high-value woman like yourself. There was nothing you could do if you were pregnant but cleaning up did make you feel better.
Now, all that was left was to cook yourself dinner and begin planning your next week with Francis.
Yet, those thoughts of happiness left your mind when you caught a glimpse of red in your peripheral vision. You hadnât noticed it when you came in but now it was painfully obvious that something was terribly wrong.
As you began to approach the doorway that led to your kitchen, you ended up slipping on something wet. The force pulled your legs from under you, causing you to fall on your bottom but before you could actually hit the groundâyou were caught.
When you registered what was going on, you saw that your savior had glowing eyes, pale skin, and brown hair. His white attire was covered in a very red substance that made you fall. The irony crimson coated your legs and bare feet. The figure before you was now smearing it on your clothes as well.
âF-FranzâŚ!?â
Your eyes darted downward. His free hand was the one that was able to catch you, it was large and cradled your bottom. But in his other hand was one of your kitchen knives. It dripped with blood and it was fresh too.Â
Behind him, you caught a glimpse of what he was doing. Your refrigerator was wide open with a trail of blood leading from underneath you to whatever it was that he put inside.Â
Memories fill your mind of the past, sending you into panic mode. How did he get inside? How has he not been caught? Was he going to ravage you again?
âWh-What are you doing? Why are you h-here?â You could already feel your eyes welling up with tears at the sight of him. He was already terrifying but in both encounters with him, he killed someone.
âI live here now.â
The knife dropped to the ground with a loud metallic tone and you felt his bloodied hand grip the back of your head. âWhere have you been?â
The creature took a deep whiff of your hair. It enjoyed the natural scent of you, even catching a bit of your slick that you washed away. It was faint but still there. Your vaginal juice was so potent that it would know it anywhere.Â
âIâŚâ Your voice cracked before you could get out another word. You werenât ready.Â
ââŚI-I just went outââ
âWhere?â
âIt was a local dress shopâŚâ
His strong body enveloped you, picking you up from the spot where you were hovering above the floor. In his arms, he held you as if you were a princess, cradling you by the back of your knees and lower back.
Franz took you away from the kitchen before you could see what he was up to.
âWith who? And donât lie.â
Your eyes went from left to right. âWhat reason would I have to lie?â You secured your arms around his neck, coyly playing along for the sake of your safety. He might act like he wants you but he is still an it, a Dopple.
âI know what you look like when you lie. Iâve studied you. I can become you...â The corner of his mouth raised into a smirk. ââŚbut I like the taste of you better.â
Your cheeks warmed at his perverseness. You werenât used to such a handsome man acting this way towards you. It was always the men with no self-care or dignity that would catcall you in the evenings but never someone soâŚattractive. Would it be wrong to say you felt that wanted?Â
Could you make Franz behave like a normal man�
âI wasâŚwith a friend.â You answered somewhat nervously, your mind instantly going to your time with Francis. Your pupils shifted and your mouth instinctively curled into a smile. Franz didnât seem to catch that you were lying. Perhaps, he was bluffing as well to get you to tell the truth. He was somewhat aware of the effect he had on you.
âHm.â You felt his chest rumble with a hum. He took you to your bedroom where he placed you on your bed.
You gripped the sheets with anticipation. Meeting like this was so odd. He was covered in blood and it made you even more frightened that he refused to elaborate on what he was up to exactly. âJust a friend?â He repeated, leaving the room for only a moment. He didnât go far as his steps didnât fade at all. This was the first time youâve ever felt unsafe in your own home like this.
Moments later, he returned, a thick rope in hand. On his face was a dark look that you recognized all too well, so much so that it triggered your memories of the day he ravaged you.Â
âWh-Whatâs that for?â You questioned.
âYou.â He replied.Â
You blinked. âMe? Whatââ
âI donât believe you.âÂ
The two of you stared at each other for a moment. Then he began to get closer. He was planning to tie you up in your room forever, wasnât he?
âWhat do you mean?âÂ
His half-smirk turned into a cold line and silent anger washed over his features. His lifeless eyes were fixated on your smaller form, clinging to the bedsheets like a scared little girl. âYou see, I donât believe you.â He answered. You bit your lip in anticipation and fell silent. You thought heâd be gone for good so you were completely unprepared for today. You let him continue as it looked like he had more to say.Â
â...thereâs this thing you do when you lie. You donât even know that you do it, but I know it.â He grew closer like a predator stalking its prey. The bed sank from the weight of him climbing onto it with you. âAnd, I can smell him all over you!â His large hand grabbed the back of your head with a fist full of your hair. You cried out as he jerked you around like a ragdoll into whichever position he pleased.
No matter how hard you fought against him, he never budged and you couldnât stop him from tying the thick rope around your neck and limbs. You struggled, thinking that he was chaining you to your bed but that didnât seem to be it. His hands bloodied various parts of you. The clothes you just had on before he tore them off of you, more of your hair along with your arms, hips, and ass cheeks.Â
Your arms were tied behind your back and your legs together so that you could no longer push him away or run. âF-Franz, come onââ
âShut up!â Franz snarled, silencing you with a loud smack to your ass. It wouldâve hurt if it didnât feel so right. You felt your head being pushed into the mattress as a warm, thick, fleshy, hard object rubbed itself between your thighs. The contact made of his pulsating shaft was soon slick in your juices. Its potent smell of femininity made him feel like he wouldnât be able to control himself any longer.
His mouth attached to your behind, right between your cheeks. The wet muscle of his tongue went between your folds before entering your pussy.
âFranz please!â But your cries only fueled his need for your fluids. His slimy monstrous explored your innards, consuming any juices you made just as they produced. The pleasure and roughness were too much. You tried to inch away but it was like his mouth was attached to your backside.Â
You could tell that he was really into it. He kneaded and fondled your ass to his liking, making sure you felt good to maximize the amount of vaginal fluid that could be made. Like an animal, his salvation dripped and wet the bed and his calloused fingers dug into the soft flesh of your cheeks.Â
The overstimulation caused you to reach your high so quickly. Before you could even warn him, you squirted all over his face and lips. His growling intensified like he couldnât get enough, slurping all of your juices. When he was done, he didnât bother to wipe his mouth. He grabbed the decorative rope that kept you restrained for a sloppy kiss.
âSo good.â He muttered on your lips before using his strength to push you on your side. âP-Please, Franz, not so hard this timeâŚâ You sputtered out. Your legs were numb from pleasure so all of the movement from this point on was up to you. âDonât tell me what to do.â His dick slid in between your closed thighs. He gave it a few thrusts before moving to your hole slick with his saliva.
Slowly but surely he pushed himself inside. He relished in the sound of your cries as you struggled to take his size and length, proud that he could say he was the biggest youâll ever have. No human man could match him in any way, shape, or form. Every stroke sent butterflies to your stomach. The noise filled the hallway outside of your home and you were sure that your neighbors could hear. You felt so embarrassed that you squeezed your eyes shut and tried to endure until it felt like he finished.
But it felt like it went on forever. The inside of your pussy was sloshy and constantly leaking onto the bed but Franz didnât want to let up. His beautiful body was glistening with sweat after he had removed his top half through his session. His cum shot into your womb and he slumped on top of you.
The sweat, juices, and remnants of blood made you feel icky. You were still tied up and couldnât move.
âFranz.â You called.
âFranz.â
No answer.
You nudged him a bit. You needed to get cleaned up. Everything was leaking from your holes and your face was a mess from the crying and kissing. âI need to go to the bathroom.â You whined, wiggling beneath him. He was so big and heavy.
Without a word, he rose to free you from the Shibari rope. Once again, your whole body was sore despite being the bottom from how relentlessly he was. You were surprised that he seemed to be somewhat experienced with aftercare. Last time, he left so abruptly, that you felt like he wouldâve left you there.
But today was different. He carried you to the bathroom when you needed to go. He helped you clean up and put on some fresh clothes. It saddened you that the new dress Francis got you was now soiled withâŚeverything. But life goes on. Perhaps, you could salvage what was left of the dress. You could hand wash it and use your skill in sewing to repair anything else if needed. You just didnât know how youâd break the news to Francis that the gift he got you on your date was ruined at the hands of another man sucking and fucking your holes.Â
Franz seemed to exert himself. He was sprawled out on your bed while you just stood there, wondering what was supposed to happen now. You decided to finally go look at what he had been doing in the kitchen all along.
The crimson smell hit your nose again as you approached the dark room. You hit the light to see that gore covered every inch of your kitchen. A trail of blood that started from your doorway led to the fridge where Franz had been standing when you walked in on him.
You investigated further to see that inside was a man you had never seen before, freshly murdered and stuffed into the back. âOh myâ!â You covered your mouth in a desperate attempt to prevent yourself from vomiting at the sight.
In a fit of anger, you stormed to your bedroom where Franz was still sleeping to confront him about it.Â
âExcuse me!â
He didnât budge.
âFranz!âÂ
Your foot made contact with his side, knocking you off of your own feet and stumbling to keep balance. He was like a rock.
âI saw what you did in my kitchen. Who was that?! Why did you do that?!â Your soft voice firmed and wavered with emotion. You finally got him to respond but it was a mumble and the only things you could make out were âsome guy.â And âhungry.âÂ
âI canât house you if youâre bringing bodies into my home.â You told him. âTheyâve installed new cameras since last time when you first showed up. What am I supposed to say when the D.D.D. comes to investigate?â
âThey wonât come.â
âThey will.â You pressed on. âIâve been getting watched ever since youââ
âThe D.D.D. wonât come because that rat was already stowed away when I got here. I did you a favor.â He then turned over so that you could only see his back. âHe wants to be me so bad.â
âWh-whatâŚ?â You blinked. âSomeone was in my house while I was away? Doing what?â
And then he dozed off to sleep. He no longer reacted to your calls and kicks to the side. He didnât wake. He didnât budge.Â
Taglist: @crybabies-hearts @z3r0art @chilifrylizard2 @luciledreamz
There were so many ppl who wanted to be tagged that I lost track so I really hope you guys find this! Thanks for being patient with me.
#that's not my neighbor#thats not my neighbor#francis mosses#Francis Mosses x reader#Milk Man#Milk man x reader#Yandere Milk Man x Reader#Yandere francis mosses#tnmn#doppleganger#dark romance
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gojo satoru x reader | fake marriage au [18+]
in holy matriphony ch2. you may now kiss the bride!!
á° pairing. fake marriage au - neighbor&realtor!gojo x nurse!reader (ft. choso x reader & suguru x reader)
á° summary. gojo satoru is your extremely annoying next-door-neighbor who you're pretty sure is the most insufferable man you've ever met. given the fact that you exclusively work the night shift at a chaotic emergency dept, just got broken up with your boyfriend of seven years, n have been taking care of your sick mom ever since her multitude of diagnoses, yet somehow your neighbor is the main source of stress in your life should speak volumes. but when your mother's medical bills start to skyrocket more than you can manage, and you learn that said neighbor of yours has the best private health insurance in the country, you ask him to enter a matrimonial agreement with you for the spousal benefits all in the name of saving a few hundred thousand dollars. but you'll have to see if suffering cohabitation w him is worth any amount of money.
á° genre/tags. fluff, smut, angst, enemies to lovers (sort of), annoyances to lovers (that's more like it), small town romance, fake marriage, next door neighbors, lots of bickering, suburban shenanigans, slow burn, mutual pining, mild love triangle(s), gojo likes to play house but you don't, hatred for the american healthcare system, gojo always forgets to mow the lawn, jealousy, an insane amount of profanity; btw gojo in this fic is in his mid 30s n reader is in her late 20s
á° warnings. reader in this fic has a sick mother w alzheimer's & cancer so there is secondary medical angst!!
á° chapter. 2/x (probably 10)
á° words. 16.8k (i be yappin)
a/n. AHHH thanks very much for 2k followers!! yippeee :â) i had a lot of fun writing this chapter of ihm i feel like thereâs a lot of silly but a lot of angsty too and i got to set up a lot of secondary plot lines in this chapter which was fun. i really hope you enjoy!! see ya at the bottom!!
nav. ch1 :: ch2 :: ch3 :: ch4 :: ch5 (pending)
âCan you chop down that stupid avocado tree of yours already? It keeps dropping its devilish spawn all over my herb garden.â
âWow. Good afternoon to you too.â
Gojo scratches the back of his head from where heâs opened the front door of his house, standing in his pajamas and you briefly glance down at his bunny slippers before looking back up at him with a ridiculing face before pushing past him into his house.
Gojoâs house is almost the exact mirror of yours, as are most houses in the neighborhood, but itâs been a while since youâve been inside of it and so you take an indulgent look. A cozy family room to the side, which you see heâs decorated with a coffee table and a loveseat, and the staircase is visible from the entrance. A modest dining table sits where the carpet turns into wood, and youâve noticed heâs made the effort to place real hardwood on his floors contrary to the laminate in yours. Ok, show off. Your eyes take in the paintings on the wall, and you remember how his house almost looks fake, like in the way he sets up props in open houses heâs showing for clients, as if someone lives here and yet somehow thereâs no real living proof of it.
And because itâs pretty much the exact same layout as your house, you know exactly where the pantry room is, and you grab a bunch of Doritos and Pocky from his secret snack drawer.
âOh yes, go right ahead. Please,â he says sarcastically as he leans against a support pillar near the dining room and watches you stuff your face with his snacks.
âSo,â you say, muffled, âdid you grab the paperwork?â
âNo, I didnât.â He glances at his watch. âMy friendâs a family law lawyer, and heâs gonna be here soon to help us out with the prenup.â
You roll your eyes. âOh my god, youâre being serious about the prenup? You really think Iâm trying to gold dig at the cobwebs of your bank account? How little self respect do you think I have?â
â...do you really want me to answer that questiââ
The doorbell ringing startles you, and you quickly wipe at your face to clear any crumbs before setting the wrappers in your hands onto a bookshelf as you watch Gojo head to the door and open it.
You hear another distinct masculine voice ring in the air as Gojo exchanges pleasantries with him in the form of a handshake and a familiar hug with a few pats on the back, and then the angle Gojo twists his body reveals the man standing outside the door. Heâs a bit shorter than Gojo with a lean build, clad in a fiercely formal black suit and tie with polished shoes. His hair is well-kept, short and raven black, and his eyes are sunken with what you can only imagine is fatigue. And itâs kinda hot to you, unfortunately, after years of working the night shift, youâre starting to find dark circles under peopleâs eyes to be extremely attractive.
âUh, y/n, this is my friend, Higurama. Hiromi Higurama,â Gojo says, gesturing between the two of you, âand Hiromi, this is y/n. My obnoxious neighbor. Careful though, if you get too close sheâll bite off your fingers.â
âIâll bite off a different appendage of yours if you donât shut the fuck up,â you snarl at him, and Higurama takes a step inside the house to greet you with an outstretched hand.Â
âHi, itâs lovely to meet you,â he says, and youâre a little startled by the politeness, but aptly shake his hand and nod before squawking out a likewise!!
You look past Higurama at Gojo whoâs got an eyebrow raised at you, and then your eyes are on Higurama again as you watch him set his briefcase down on the dining table. âAre we ready to discuss?â he asks, brown eyes darting between the two of you. You nod and take a seat across from him, and Gojo first grabs everyone some glasses of water before he takes a seat at the head.
âSo,â Higurama starts, âI take it you two are madly in love and would like to enter a marital agreement to declare your affections for one another in the court of law under just circumstances?â
You blink at him. âY-Yes. Very just circumstances. Nothing shady going on here, we are indeed very madly in love and would like to get married.â
âWhy the fuck would you say it like that?â Gojo chirps in but not before sighing.Â
âT-The way he asked was really nerve wracking!!â you counter. And then your eyes widen when you look at Higurama again, who has a slightly amused tug to his lips. â...oh, you already know this marriage is a fraud.â
âI was just testing you,â he casually says, âin case they mention any suspicions in court. Seems you should just let Satoru do the talking.â
You pout a little and sink further into your seat, then bring the glass of water up to your lips.Â
âWell, in any case,â Higurama says, and then he goes on into the details of what to expect in the courtroom. He pulls out paperwork for the marriage license application and starts to walk the two of you through the prenuptial agreement.Â
âItâs my understanding youâre both desiring a prenup for this marriage?â Hugurama asks, brow furrowed slightly as he rustles through the endless papers in front of him that he was drowning in.
You briefly glance at Gojo, whoâs also looking through all the papers with a concentrated look on his face, his features tense and heâs slightly worrying his bottom lip through his teeth. Heâs thinking way harder about this whole prenup thing than you would, and you realize heâs genuinely taking this very seriously.Â
âUm, yes,â you acquiesce, suddenly feeling a little guilty. And you remember whoâs the one in need of the favor here. âIâm okay with the prenup.â
Higurama tells you two about the implications of the prenup, what can and cannot be included under state laws, and stresses the importance of full financial disclosure and fairness in the agreement to ensure its enforceability in the event of a divorce. Basically, donât fucking lie about anything or else you two could sue each other to hell for it should divorce occur. You both agree, and youâre feeling sick to your stomach with anticipation.Â
âAlright,â Higurama interjects your thoughts, âI will begin to draft the document then. Letâs start with assets.â
Gojo drones on about his tangibles, intangibles, cash equivalents, stocks, yada yada and you open up with yours too, but you can barely hear anything youâre saying and you can hardly hear what anyone else is saying either because youâre just dreadfully awaiting for Higurama to finally bring upâ
âHow about debts?â he asks, mindlessly as he types away on his laptop, as if the question doesnât make you want to throw up.Â
Your breathing picks up in speed, and youâre nervously fidgeting your hands over the surface of the table. You glance over at Gojo again, this time startled to find his eyes are on you too. His gaze briefly flickers to the shuffling of your fingers, then it meets yours again as he tilts his head slightly in a silent ask of you good?
âUhââ you start, when you feel Higuramaâs eyes on you too now that the silence has stretched on for too long, âIâmâŚwell, Iâm in a bit ofâŚdebt. From nursing school, a little bit from undergrad still, actuallyâŚâ
âOkay,â Higurama says, âhow much would you approximate? Iâll need the official loan statements soon, though.â
âWell, Iâm paying off slowlyâŚbut last month I have around seventy-thousand still to pay off.â
âAlright,â Higurama accepts, âand you, Satoru? Student loans?â
âOh, I donât have any,â he says, âI paid them off a while ago.â
You feel like youâre being opened apart at the seams, and suddenly feel ashamed.
âAlright, what about other debts? Credit card debts? Any loans to know about?â
You figured you just needed to rip the bandaid off.
âUm,â you say, âIâm about three hundred thousand dollars in medical debt from my motherâs treatment loans.â
The room goes quiet, thereâs no more rustling of papers or the mechanical jumping of keys on a keyboard, hell, even the birds outside stopped chirping to display their disbelief.Â
âWhaââ Gojo starts, like he canât help it, before he catches himself out of politeness, but heâs still looking at you with concern and shock. ây/nâŚwhat happened?â
You look over at Higurama too, and heâs completely turned away from the document he was drafting on his laptop, full attention on you, and his brow is creased with the same amount of concern. And you feel like youâre in therapy. You also feel like youâre about to cry.
âWellâŚitâs just,â you start, throat feeling raw, âmy mom couldnât qualify for medical loans because of years of poor credit, and insufficient income, and her cancer treatments became really costly, and soââ you suck a breath in, because your voice cracks slightly at the end. You were not about to cry in front of them right now. âAnd so I decided to cosign on her loans so she could receive treatment, and stuff kept coming up, and I had to work reduced hours for a couple of years when she was first diagnosed, andâŚsome payments got away from me, and so thenâŚthere was interest, andâŚitâsâŚI guess over five years, things justâŚaccumulated.â
They both sit there in stunned silence, shifting uncomfortably in their seats, like they understand your situation is so fucked in its entirety that they can barely even bear to put themselves through the trouble of even imagining themselves in your shoes, let alone fathom that youâre living in them.
Higurama clears his throat and redirects his attention to the computer. âThatâs⌠no problem for the prenup. Thank you for being honest.â
âHey,â Gojo interjects, and his hand reaches out to lay over your fidgeting hands over the table. His eyes are serious. âWhy didnât youââ he starts, and his face softens slightly when you canât help the small sheen of tears that reaches your eyes, â...why didnât you say anything about this? I mean, anytime weâve talked.â
Itâs your turn to look at him with a tense expression, and you slowly withdraw your hands from the hold of his palm to place them in your lap under the table. âUh, why would I share about my financial woes to my neighbor? Donât most people just act like shitâs normal with their neighbors?â
âI guess, but I didnât know it was that baââ
Higuramaâs phone starts to ring, and he glances at the Caller ID before sighing slightly. âSorry, I have another client I need to see soon. Weâll have to wrap this up, but Iâll continue drafting this document. Please send me your relevant statements for any loans andââ he glances at you, â...associated debts.â He starts to gather his things at the table, then neatly tucks his papers into his briefcase before placing his laptop in there too. He reaches to shake Gojoâs hand first, then shakes yours, and holds onto your hand a second longer to gather your attention. His eyes are almost solemn.
âI truly hope your mother gets better soon,â he says to you, tone contrite.Â
You slowly nod and thank him, and then Gojo goes to see him out the door.
The house feels quiet when Gojo closes the front entrance, and he stays facing the door for a few seconds before slowly turning around to face you, back leaning against it as he crosses his arms in front of his chest, and just when he opens his mouth to speak, you cut him off.
âI reallyââ you say, â...I really donât want to talk about it.â
His face contorts into confusion, and it looks like heâs about to protest, but you allow yourself to show the slightest amount of the hurt and the worry on your face, and he realizes that means he shouldnât try to push it.
âOkay,â he says, and quietly.Â
Things are awkward in the air for a second, so you waltz over to the window and watch through it as Higurama gets into his car, some type of sleek old black Mercedes Benz but itâs polished to perfection, and you let out a content sigh.
âWhat?â Gojo asks you, tone a little short.Â
âOhhh, nothing,â you say, bringing your hands up to cup your cheeks to feel their warmth as you take in the image of Higuramaâs slender legs in his business attire, âI justâŚâ you sigh again, âI just loooove men in suits. I wish I knew more men that wore them often.â
A beat of silence. âUm. I wear them often?â
You turn on your heel to face him. âYeah, but you wear them in, like, a slutty way. Higurama,â you say, pointing with your thumb facing the window, âwears them in the actually respectable workplace way. Hence why itâs hotter on him.â
He scoffs. âAnd yet youâre always staring at my ass from afar when Iâm wearing my tailored trousers.âÂ
âI seriously wonder what itâs like to be so fucking delusional all the time,â you shake your head at him and he looks like heâs got a comeback on his tongue but you sshhhhhhhh him and walk back into the heart of the house. You look over your shoulder briefly, and see Gojoâs standing where you were standing at the window a few seconds ago, looking out onto the street, and heâs grumbling something under his breath you canât quite hear. And then you hear the sound of Higuramaâs car driving away.Â
You circle around the dining table, and take a seat to look through the marriage paperwork Higurama left behind for the two of you to fill out.
âBring the paperwork over to the kitchen island,â you hear Gojo say as he makes his way to the kitchen, âIâll fix us some coffee.â
The island has a seated side to it with bar stools that raise high and turn in fully 360 degree fashion, so you swirl around in your seat to make yourself dizzy while Gojo brews some coffee with his espresso machine.Â
âMmâŚsmells nice,â you comment, still swirling.
âMilk? Sugar?â he asks you, and you stop swirling to answer him.
Itâs not the first time youâve been to Gojoâs house. When he first moved in next door, you brought him a plate of cookies as a welcome to the neighborhood! gift and he had invited you inside and fixed you a cup of coffee then too. The house was mostly empty back then, heâs made a lot of good work in filling it with furniture in that sort of IKEA catalog fashion, and you can clown on him for it all you want, but it still looks nicer than most homes youâve been in. Anyways, you only visited him in his house a couple times after that before you realized you hated him. Because he blasts loud music at the most random times, which youâre convinced heâs just trying to show off the sound system he probably spent an unnecessary amount of money on, not to mention an unnecessary amount of time installing. He also always forgets to mow his fucking lawn, and it drives you nuts because then the weeds spread over into your lawn, but itâs not like it matters because you hardly mow yours either, but still. And that fucking boat. That fucking boat he keeps right at the edge of your driveway that taunts you and your ability to pull into garages after every single one of your dreadful night shifts. One of these days, you might just steal it and drive it into the ocean so it drowns. Wait, boats donât drown. Thatâs the point of boats. Theyâre buoyant. Itâs okay, youâll find another way to get rid of it. The boat, you mean.Â
âHere you go,â he says, sliding a cup of coffee to you across the island. You peer inside at the brown liquid, and the scent alone awakens your senses.
âSo, logistics,â you say.
âLogistics,â he repeats after you as he stirs a spoon in his mug.Â
âWe need to make this believable,â you say to him, âotherwise the marriage could be invalidated, and we could face criminal charges, and I could lose the insurance benefits for my mom, and potentially get sued by said insurance companies, and get thrown into jail for life, andââ
âAnd how much sleep have you lost thinking about this?â he asks you with a sigh as he brings his mug up to take a sip.Â
âIâm being serious, Satoru,â you say to him, âIâŚwould just rather err on the side of caution. Itâs a small town, people talk. And sometimes those people know the law.â You shudder.
âWho the fuck is out there that would be so pissed about us getting married just so you can help out your sick mom?â he asks.
Your eyes flicker downwards slightly in consideration. You can think of one person, at least. And when you look up at him, youâre surprised to see thereâs a similar look on his face, as if he could think of a particular one person too. But before you can dwell more on the expression on his face, he grabs the paperwork in front of you and looks through some of it. âYou should get started on your paperwork. Higurama filled most of mine out for me already, so youâre the one heâs waiting on.â
You groan and stretch your arm out across the island counter, then lay your head on your upper arm. âSigh, why couldnât he have done that for meee tooooo.â
âProbably because he doesnât know you?â Gojo snorts. Heâs silent for a moment as he takes another sip. You canât see his face. âSo,â he starts, âI mean. If weâre going to make this believable, which, to be honest, I donât think a single person in this neighborhood would find us getting married believable, but still, if we were to try making it believable, wouldnât it make sense for us to, uh, I donât know, live together? Like what regular married couples do.â
âI am appalled you would even suggest that.â
âItâs going to look like weâre just faking it if we donât at least cohabitate together,â he tells you.
âWe canât do that,â you sigh, âI bet youâd try to touch me inappropriately.â
âWhat???âÂ
âYeahhh, I donât know, you justâ...you just seem like a guy with very little self control.â
â...yâknow what? This is over. Iâm calling off this engagement,â he says, and he walks over to the dining table with his coffee cup in hand and you lift your head up off your arm in a panic.
âWhaâ...no!! Wait!!â you say, grabbing all the paperwork off the island and bringing it to the dining table where heâs taken a seat. âPlease marry me. I need it so bad.â
âWoah,â he says, looking up at you, and thereâs a darker glint to his eyes. âYou need it so bad? Can you say that again?â
You curl up the papers in your hands into a makeshift hollow pole and whack him across the head with it. âThis is exactly why I think you would touch me inappropriately.â
He grumbles slightly as he nurses the spot you whacked him with two of his fingers rubbing the area, and then he fixes his hair with a comb of his hand through it. The sleeve of his shirt drops a little from the movement, and you can see the muscles of his arm flex, then your eyes are quickly darting away so he doesnât catch the line of your gaze on him. What the fuck. That was weird. You blame ovulation.Â
âAlright, fine,â he says, and he grabs the papers out of your hand, âalso donât bend these. It bothers me.âÂ
You circle back to the kitchen to grab your abandoned coffee cup, and then bring it to the dining table to sit down with him at it. He places your half of the papers in front of you. You glance down at the first few boxes to fill out, and you already feel like giving up.
You glance up at him for a distraction. âArenât you going to ask me how long I want you to be married to me for?â you ask him.
âUh, how long do you want me to be married to you for?â
âForever,â you say. To scare him.
âYeah, right.â He waves his hand in the air dismissively.Â
You sulk because it didnât scare him. âSix months.â
âMore plausible.â
âReally,â you say earnestly, âsix months.â
He looks up at you now, a curious expression on his face. âWhy specifically six months?â
Your eyes find the color of your coffee fascinating once again. âI donât want to put my mother in hospice for too long. Iâll miss her,â you say, âitâs justâŚsomething Iâm trying out for now. And to just get a bit of a caretaking break, and also so I can pick up more shifts at the hospital to work on paying off my debt. Itâs justâŚtemporary.â
His shoulders roll back once and he sits up a little straighter, holding up one of the pieces of paper to study it better while he clicks his pen. âAlright. Whatever works for you.â
You twiddle with your hands again, blinking a little in consideration as a few moments pass by. âUhâŚabout living together. Thatâs fine. I suppose.â
His eyes widen slightly. âReally?â
âYeah. But no touching,â you point at him with a strict finger.
He tilts his head back up to the ceiling in annoyance. Thereâs a roll in the muscles of his throat as his jaw goes slack. You squirm in your chair a little. Ovulation, you think.Â
âIâm not going to touch you, y/n,â he assures you when his chin tips back down. You just stare at him for a few seconds as he seems to be in thought about something, and then his eyes meet yours. âWhose house are we going to live in?â
âMine,â you say, âyours looks like a shitty catalog. Itâs lame.â
âTrue,â he says, âyours feels homey. I like that.â
Youâre a little taken aback by his words, and then purse your lips together. Your sort of go-to thanks expression reserved for him. âSo, are you gonna sell your house then?â
âHuh? No way,â he shakes his head, âIâll just see if I can rent it out for now.â He shakes his head even more. âI mean, god no, I wouldnât be caught dead selling a house. Not with these market conditions. You know how much itâs already risen in equity within just the past few months alone? In five years from nowââ
While Gojo continues to drone on about the lunacy of not holding onto property in this housing market, your eyes widen slightly at his words, like your body realizes a truth to what heâs saying before your mind does.
And then thatâs when it hits you.
How you can help pull yourself out of debt.
You slam your coffee mug down on the table with a little more fierceness than you probably shouldâve.
âHey,â he scolds you, âcan you be careful with that?â
âWeâre not going to live in my house,â you say, ignoring him, âweâre gonna live in yours.â
âHuh?â he responds, â...but I thought you said mine looks like a catalog.â
âA shitty catalog.â
âDid you need to specify?â
âWeâre not going to live in my house,â you tell him, with resolve, âbecause Iâm gonna sell my house.â
He sits up a little straighter at your words. âLike, the house next door?â
âMhm,â you nod.
He sighs. âWere you even listening to me? Itâs so much more worth it toââ
âI donât care,â you cut him off, âI need the money now. Not five years from now.â Your eyes glance down at your hands, and your tone becomes quiet. âIâŚI donât even know if my mom has five years left to live.â
A silence settles in the room, and you see in your periphery that Gojoâs stiff and still, like heâs barely allowing himself to breathe as if youâd find it abrasive, and when you look over at him, his expression is soft.
âI know,â he says. âIt sounds like a plan.â
âWill you help me sell it?â you ask him. âIâdâŚneed a realtor.â
âSure,â he easily agrees.
âOkayâŚâ you say, and take a sip of lukewarm coffee, as if you havenât just decided on an extremely major life decision. âUm. Iâll go get the paperwork then. From my house.â
âOh. Right now?â he asks you, and he leans forward in his seat a little to get a closer look at your face. âI mean, donât you want some time to think about it before putting it on the market? We can wait for a little bit.â
âNo. Thatâs okay,â you say, standing up from your chair, âIâllâŚgo get the paperwork.â
He nods at you slowly, but his eyes are observant, and you ignore it to keep up the momentum of this decision that was definitely the right decision by all means and one that you should not be hesitating on at all as it is such an epiphany that can help clear your debilitating financial burdens.Â
âDrive safe,â he says to you when you grab your purse off the coffee table in the family room.
âHa ha. Very funny.â
The outside air is breezy, itâs a nice day with the sun shining down and sparkling off of sprinkler dew drops on overgrown grass, and you hop across with a pep in your step as you make it to your house next door. Youâre always quiet when opening the door, because you never know when your mom is sleeping or not, and since her bedroom is downstairs, sheâs privy to noises. Once youâre inside, you check to make sure sheâs sleeping with a small creak open of her door, only to find that sheâs sitting on her rocking chair and looking through a box of paintings.
Your heart twists at the sight, and you gently knock the door with your knuckles.
She glances up at you, and you can always tell from just the look in her eyes if she recognizes you or not. Because theyâre warm and gentle when she does, but they see right past you to the wall when she doesnât.
âHello,â she says, âcan I help you?â
You come up to her and kneel down beside her, placing a hand up on the rocking chair arm rest while she looks down at you.
âHi, mom. Itâs me. Your daughter,â you gentle reintroduce yourself. Itâs what her neurologist suggested you do anytime she canât remember you, but it rips away a piece of your soul each time.
Her eyes still see past you, abstract, empty with no feeling as she wraps her head around your words. âI am no oneâs mother,â she tells you, tone sounding sharp and like sheâs a moment away from terror.
âThatâs okay,â you quickly remediate, feeling hollow inside from her words but you always had to be the sane one, so you direct her attention to the box in her lap. âWhat are you looking at?â
âOh, I just found these paintings!â she exclaims. âI thought they were wonderful. Do you know who drew them?â
You smile up at her. âYou did.â
âMe?â she blinks at you. The wrinkles in her forehead crumple with surprise, âoh, no, dear, I could not paint such things with detail. Look at me!â She holds her hand up. âMy hand is trembling!â
Sheâs getting weaker. You make a mental note to bring it up to her doctor.
âYou used to hold a paint brush like it was just an extension of your hand,â you tell her, picking up one of the paintings out of the box, âyou were an art teacher, mom.â
âDonât call me mom,â she says to you, that sharp tone from earlier cutting through to your soul. âI am no oneâs mother.â Her eyes shimmer with a light sheen of tears.
You stare at her, brow pinching together with hurt, but you bite back the part of you that wants to beg her to remember you, to take one close look at you, and see you with warmth and not emptiness. But she sees past you all the same.
âCan you do something for me?â you whisper to her.
âYes?â she asks.
âCould you please lay down? You need some rest.â
âAre you my nurse?â she asks.
You breathe in deep. âYes.â
âAm IâŚâ she glances briefly at her reflection in the vanity mirror, her eyes flitting up to the head scarf on her head that covers the absence of hair, âam I sick?â
You exhale. âYes. You need rest.â
âOhâŚâ she acknowledges, âwhy, yes. I do feelâŚa little frail.â
âI know,â you comment, and you put the box down on the floor then help her up onto her feet slowly by holding onto her arm, and you guide her to sit on the bed and take her medications. She then lays down, and you nod at her reassuringly before you head out the door and close it behind you.
Your lip trembles with the threat of a sob as you stare straight forward at the wall in the dimness of the hallway. But a harsh bite to the plush of it ceases the quiver.
You make your way up the stairs to go grab that binder you had with the mortgage and house information, plus some of your recent utility bills. Except the binder is hard to locate, and youâre rummaging through the cabinets in your closet, the drawer of your nightstand, youâre even looking underneath the bed. But when you lift your head up from under it, still kneeling on the carpet, and glance at the wall, you notice something.
48ââ eight yrs. what a big girl!Â
46ââ seven yrs. big jump
41ââ six yrs.
37ââ five yrs. my little princess
âŚ
..
âall written in graphite pencil, scribbled up the wall where you would stand tall against as a kid, your mom marking your height at every birthday. And your eyes start to well with tears.Â
This was your childhood home. With magical corners tucked away where you used to play hide and seek with your dad, with your old bedroom you used to play in with dolls and have tea parties with all your stuffed animals. Thereâs still a stain of fruit juice on the carpet underneath the rug that you never told your mom about because you knew she would be mad at you and would scrub it out, but it was in the shape of a heart and when you were a kid, you thought that meant you would find your prince charming some day. This house holds so many memories, like birthday parties and Christmas Eve and the sunflower patch in the backyard where you laid Sniffles to rest.
And it holds the familiarity of you that seems to be slipping through your motherâs fingers with each passing day, all those memories you created with her now solely yours to keep and no longer to share. But you realize at this moment that youâre not alone. This house still holds those memories with you.
Your eyes flicker to the graphite pencil marks on the wall again, and the tears flow freely.
In the moments where she cannot remember that you are her baby, this house remembers for her.
Your sleeve wipes at the dampness on your cheeks.
But itâs never enough, is it? And itâs never that easy, either. Life was never that easy, and you donât always have the choices you might think you do.
You find the binder, and grab all the utility bills too, and head downstairs. You pass by your motherâs room with softness and sleuth, and guilt in your heart when you realize what youâve chosen to do. Thereâs no pep to your step when you make it back to Gojoâs.
â˘ââââ˘â˘âŚâ˝âŚâ˘â˘ââââ˘
âSooo,â Gojo says, after about twenty minutes of looking through all the house paperwork in the binder at the dining table, âyour mom transferred ownership of the house to you as a gift deed when she was diagnosed?â
âMhm,â you say.
âShe paid off quite a bit of it,â he comments as he looks through banking statements, âbut still not enough to pay off your medical debt, unfortunately.â
You sigh. âI know. It was never really a house she could afford anyways. She just received it from the divorce, and I remember we were supposed to downsize, butâŚshe didnât want to.â
âI see,â Gojo comments, âwell, itâs alright, it would still help you a lot for sure. How many years are left for your solar panel lease?â He has a pen in hand and a custom realtor notepad in front of him with his messy handwriting all over it.Â
âItâs new,â you say, âstill got thirty years left.â
âJeez, okay. How much per month?â
You scavenge through the bills on your table. âUmmm um um ummmâŚâŚ.â
âYou should reallyâŚget more organized.â
âYou should really mind your fucking business.â You find the bill. â$285 per month.â
âOkay,â he scribbles it down, âdoes it offset your electricity bill?â
Your shoulders sulk. âA little bit.â
âYeah, it might scare some buyers away.â
You sigh. âOh and then the HOA too.â
âHOA?â he looks up at you with a puzzled expression on his face. âWe donât have an HOA in this neighborhood.â
âWe donât?â you blink at him. âThen who have I been sending $195 dollars to every month?â
ââŚâŚ.....youâve seriously gotta be some special kind of stupid.â
After panicking for five minutes while checking your credit cards for fraudulent activity, Gojo gets done cutting up an apple for you.Â
âHere,â he says, sliding the plate to you, âsince you look like youâre about to faint. Knowing you, itâs probably just low blood sugar.â
You dramatically sigh and sink in your chair. âI canât believe I spent the last three years paying an HOA that doesnât even existâŚâ
âHey, on the bright side, thereâs some dude out there on an exotic vacation thatâs very thrilled by your idiocracy right now.â
You shoot him a look. And then you hang your head low to drink your extremely cold coffee that you were still nursing, before downing it all in one go. Your eyes catch the marriage paperwork that Gojo was reviewing earlier, and you see Higuramaâs pre-filled in information that he typed onto the papers before printing them for him.Â
âHm,â you hum, âit says here that youâve been married before. You might want to get that fixed before we submit these.â
He stands up from the table, two of his fingers hooking onto the handle of his coffee cup, and he glances into yours to make sure itâs empty, briefly flicking his eyes to you and you shake your head for no, no more coffee, thanks before he wraps his other two fingers around the handle of your mug as well. The clink of the two porcelain mugs in his hand startles you a little as he walks past you to the kitchen sink. âThereâs nothing to fix about that,â he says, his tone level and easy, âitâs true. Iâve been married before.â
Your eyes widen at his confession, and you quickly twist your torso in your chair to stare at him. Or at least, the back of him as he turns the faucet on and begins to rinse out coffee mugs.Â
Married? Before? There are so many questions swimming through your head right now, ones that you desperately want answers to, biggest of all perhaps being now who the fuck would actually want to marry him??? for real??? youâre telling me this self obsessed dork proposed to a real life woman with a pulse and she actually said âyesâ to him??? who was this woman, and which psych ward did he find her from???Â
But heâs so quiet from where he stands, broad shoulders less pushed back like they usually are, and something tells you he wouldnât entertain any of those questions from you right now. A glance at the paperwork, though, tells you the divorce was recent. Less than a year ago. Around the time he moved in next door.Â
He still has his back facing you, and you try to sneakily catch a glimpse at more info under the Wife section on the prior marriages form. You can see the paper says maiden name: Inoue and youâre just about to sneak a peak at the first name whenâ
âYou want to stay for dinner?â he asks when he turns around, leaning back against the sink counter. âIâm ordering pizza tonight.â
Youâre surprised by the sudden invitation, and shuffle the papers over one another again. âOhâthatâsâŚthatâs okay.â You glance at the clock he has hanging on the wall. âIâve got work in a couple of hours, soâŚI should really get going. Have a few errands to run before then.â
âOkay, so, weâllâŚtalk later?â
âYeah, later,â you stand up from your chair, and for some reason, the air feels a little heavier to you now. âUhâŚâ you start, awkwardly scoffing a little, âwow. Bachelor life again, then, huh? Probably justâ...probably just beer and pizza every night?â
He purses his lips together, humoring you with a small laugh that comes out as a scoff through his nostrils. âNo. Not really. I only order pizza when I close a sale on a house. My way of celebrating.â
âOh,â you respond, âI see.â
âIâll walk you to your car,â he says.
âI live next door,â you remind him.
His eyes widen slightly. âOh. Right.â
âH-Hope the trafficâs not too bad!â you joke.
His laugh comes more genuine now. âYouâre stupid.â
You head towards the door, and when he opens it for you, thereâs a chill of air outside and itâs darker now, hues of dark gray, purple and a slight orange still present on the horizon paint the sky and you step outside then turn on your heel to face him.
âUm. Congrats, by the way. On the sale,â you tell him, âenjoy your night. And Iâll see you this weekend?â
âHuh?â He raises an eyebrow. âWhatâs happening this weekend?â
âWeââ you scoff, âweâre getting married this weekend?â
âOh!â he exclaims, tense, âright, yes, see you this weekend. For marriage. Of us.â
You roll your eyes and make your way down the concrete pavement that leads its way to his house, and leads its way away from it too. And when you walk back to your house, itâs not with a sulk, but itâs not with a pep in your step either. You just feelâŚneutral.
â˘ââââ˘â˘âŚâ˝âŚâ˘â˘ââââ˘
âSo, tell me about this fake husband of yours,â Hana says, leaning against your work-on-wheels as you attempt to catch up on charting notes with 4 hours and 15 minutes and 53 seconds left on your shift (itâs not like you were counting though).
âYeah, in a sec,â you mumble as you punch in keys.
6/2/2024 0344: patient placed on 5150 hold on 5/31 at 1745, continually monitored by ED tech. all objects have been removed from ptâs room to prevent any danger to self or others. however patient accessed hand sanitizer dispenser on the wall at roughly 0320 and ingested all the hand sanitizer. notified MD of toxic ingestion, follow up plan is to coordinate care with poison control. no further orders at this time
âOkay, what were you saying?â you look up at Hana again and rub the tired out of your eye with a balled up hand, along with all the mascara.Â
âYour fake husband!! Tell me about him!!â she chirps, shaking your work-on-wheels in excitement and the blur of your computer screen makes you feel dizzy.
âShhhhh,â you hiss at her, âkeep your voice down when we discuss illegal activities.â
She rolls her eyes. âWhy are you always so paranoid? Iâm already sick and tired of you charting incessantly every five seconds to save yourself from medical lawsuits that you havenât even been accused of.â
âIn a medical lawsuit, the chart is the law, Hana,â you say eerily with a shiver, and her words remind you to continue your detailed charting. âNever forget that.â
She sighs. Her gaze travels across to the other end of the emergency department, and you assume sheâs staring at the asses of the EMT boys again, so you glance over your shoulder too.Â
Except instead, you see the worst person on the planet.
Well, second worst as of right now.
The worst person title was reserved for someone else.
Approaching from down the hall is Yuna, your ex-best friend, a bounce in her step as she walks with a sort of allure as her hips rock side to side, her mile-high ponytail swaying in beat with the rhythm as well, and the ashy blond highlights in her hair hypnotize anyone she waltzes by.Â
She was the kind of nurse that all the other nurses are jealous of. Always has cute little accessories and stickers on their badge, is wearing the fancy FIGS scrub sets that hug her sporty curves in all the right places, paired with those little shoes with the ankle socks, and she most definitely gets her water goal in for the day because sheâs always sucking on the straw of her periwinkle Stanley cup around the ED all night just like she sucked the cum out of your boyfriend of seven years just twenty-four hours after the two of you had broken upâ
ây/n,â she casually calls your name, leaning her elbow up on the cubicle divider of the nursing station. âItâs time for you to take your break. Iâll watch your patients.â
âIâm not taking my break,â you say, trying to relax the grit to your teeth which makes your eye twitch out of frustration instead. âNow get the fuck away from me before I call a Code Black.â
She sighs, rolling her eyes and smacking loudly on her gum. âYaga said you have to take your thirty tonight. Something about how you havenât clocked out for a break in more than two months and the hospital could get sued for that.â
âThe hospital has way bigger cases they should be biting their nails about getting sued over,â Hana snorts just to butt in on conversation.
âCâmon,â Yuna says, her fingers reaching out to touch the handle of your work-on-wheels, purposefully stretched so that you can eye the perfect sparkly manicure to her nails. You curl your fingers into the skin of your palms to hide your gel polish thatâs long started to scrape off. âGo clock out.â
âIâd rather die than listen to a single fucking thing you tell me to do,â you tell her, plain and simple.
ây/n!â a loud masculine voice calls from the other end of the Emergency Department, and all three of you visibly shrink a little in your stances out of fear. Head nurse Yaga. âTake your break, or Iâll be damned to let you set another foot in this hospital!!â heâs yelling at you all the way from the entrance to the CT scanner.
âButââ
âNow!!!!!â
Your eyes flicker to Yuna, who has an amused look on her face and a tilt to her head, and then youâre grumbling before logging out of your computer then stepping away from it. âDraw a CBC & chem on Beds 24 and 28 at 4 AM sharp,â you grumble to her, and she just gives you one of those tight-skinned smiles.Â
The break room is empty, with shades of beige on the walls and even more depressing shades of gray on the lockers. There are all sorts of things pasted on the walls, like photos from staff Halloween and Christmas parties, drawings that pediatric patients have made in appreciation of their nurses, and employee information that Yagaâs constantly shoving in everyoneâs faces.Â
Okay, the backstory with Yuna. Pretty simple. You two had been best friends since high school, like inseparable best friends. Yâknow, sneaking out late at night to use fake IDs at the bar, cover for the other when youâre busy losing your virginity to your high school boyfriend in the most dishonorable way possible, rooming together in college, sobbing and crying through all of nursing school together, ride or die type of friendship that you think youâd only find once in a lifetime. Except turns out your best friend, who youâd considered a sister, had eyes for your boyfriend since you started dating him in college, and the second that dickwad dumped you, you catch her sucking him off in the back of his Toyota Camry when you go to pick your stuff up from his place. Yeah, ouch. You lost the two closest people in your life, all in the matter of twenty-four hours, so pardon yourself for being a bit bitter about it.Â
But being bitter is the coping mechanism. The real way you feel comes in the form of tears prickling in your eyes and the pain in your throat as you try to swallow away the knot thatâs suffocating you from the inside out. A type of loneliness that leaves you stranded even in a room full of people. But at the very least, this room is empty, so no one has to see the crack in your resolve.
Thereâs no time on a thirty-minute lunch break to have a full mental breakdown, so you sparsely wipe at your tears and head back to your shift.
â˘ââââ˘â˘âŚâ˝âŚâ˘â˘ââââ˘
If you want to know who actually holds the worst person on the planet title right now, well, you run into him on a Tuesday afternoon while on a grocery run after you just woke up from barely sufficient post night shift sleep. Bitter and drugged by Melatonin was not a state of being you needed to be in right now, but youâre out of orange juice and youâre having Vitamin C withdrawals which warrants a trip to the store. Unfortunately, the town only has one grocery store, which means you were bound to run into pestering ex-boyfriends at least once every full moon.Â
âGet the fuck out of my way, Choso,â you snarl at the man whoâs walking backwards ahead of your grocery cart, trying to stop you in your tracks so youâd just chill out and listen to him for a second.
âCan you just chill out and listen to me for a second?â he asks you, irritation evident in his voice like youâre being the difficult one here.
âI already told you that I quite literally never want to see your stupid ugly face ever again for as long as I live,â you say, and you ram your grocery cart forward with so much force the metal hits his knees and he doubles over the basket indignantly with a groan.
He seems like heâs had enough of you evading him, so he jams his foot under the wheel to keep you from moving forward, and youâre scowling at him and struggling against his foot-stop but to no avail.Â
You briefly consider abandoning your cart all together and just bee-lining for the exit, but heâs a cop, so heâd easily be able to tackle you to the ground if you tried.
âWhat do you want?â you snarl, impatiently tapping your foot with every miserable passing second spent in his presence.Â
âI justââ He sighs, âI just want to talk. And to know how youâre doing. You wonât pick up any of my calls.â
âHuh?â You blink at him. âIâve had you blocked for the past two weeks. You shouldnât even be able to call me.â
His eyebrows raise. âReally?...who have I been dialing then?âÂ
âFuck if I know,â you shrug, and you use his moment of confusion to swerve your cart off to the side and make your way down the refrigerator aisle. Ohhh, dulce de leche gelato sounds nice, and itâs on sale. You grab a jar.Â
Chosoâs trailing behind you as you eye price tags and sale signs in the open chill of the yogurt section. âBabeââ
âDonâtââ you immediately cut him off, spinning fast on your heel and he stops himself just in time from crashing right into you. You hold your index finger up in the air between the two of you with a clench to your jaw so tight it feels sore, and through gritted teeth you say, âdonât call me babe.â
He rubs the back of his neck. âSorry. Itâs habit.â
Indeed, habit. Seven years of him calling you babe, or baby, or boobie (idk donât ask). Your favorite though? Babydoll. Heâd always call you that when heâd make sweet, sweet love to you while you were wearing his favorite flimsy little piece of lingerieâbabydolls. Even now, the memories have your cheeks feeling hot. But he doesnât get to call you babe anymore, and he doesnât get to fuck you anymore, or talk to you anymore, or breathe in your general direction anymore, because he betrayed you. He wasted your time, and then he betrayed you.
Seven years of your sexual prime, where you couldâve been fucking hunky firefighters and bisexual Europeans, wasted on a man you werenât even going to marry in the end anyways. Now youâre pushing thirty, and the idea of having to date again makes your skin crawl with anxiety that turns into fury because your doom is all caused by the man in front of you.
Whatever, forget about the sex and the impending loss of a womanâs novelty within society for a second. You loved him. A part of you still loves him. You wanted to marry this man. You thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with this man. Little sheriff deputyâs wife, Mrs. Kamo, the perfect number of letters to get on a bejeweled license plate. You had envisioned all the cute little quotes of adoration that would be imprinted on your wedding receptionâs custom-made doily napkins with everyone thatâs ever meant anything to you sitting at the table, ready to celebrate the love that you thought was real and true and brave and strong and one that would last forever.
But he abandoned you when you were at your lowest. And he fell into the arms of the one person you thought you could turn to crying when the relationship crashed and burned in the first place. And the problem with living in a small town is that everyone knows everybodyâs business, so now youâre just the woman that wasted her youth on a man that played her like a broken fiddle. Utterly heartbroken, and humiliated.Â
So, yeah, he doesnât get to call you babe anymore.
âListen here, asshole,â you say, stabbing him in the chest with your finger, so he can feel even a fraction of the pain youâve felt in the past three weeks, âI couldn't care less if you live today, or die tomorrow. So if you know whatâs good for you, youâll leave me alone. Or Iâll file for a restraining order.â
âReally?â he says, brows pulled tight together in disbelief, like he just canât understand what heâs done to make you act this way, and quite frankly, that only makes it sting even worse, âafter everything weâve been through, youâre just going to throw away the past seven years?â
âWhat the fuck are you saying?!â you all but snap at him, and an elderly couple thatâs passing by flinches a little from the noise and you wince in apology before glaring at Choso again. Your voice is hushed this time. âYouâre the one that broke up with me, but Iâm the one thatâs throwing it all away??â
He purses his lips together, and you notice how dark the circles under his eyes are. He shuts them tightly and leans back away from you, which makes you realize how much he was leaning into your space just a second ago. âI know that weâŚarenât dating anymore. But, I mean, câmon, y/n, itâs me. Just because weâre not together anymore, doesnât mean that I donât stillâŚcare. I want to know how your momâs doing, and how treatment has been for her, andââ he glances up at the ceiling briefly, as if to mislead you into thinking that the next thing he says is just as nonchalantly desired as the other things he listed, âand I want to know how youâre doing, too.â
âYou donât deserve to know how Iâm doing. Continue to wallow in your pathetic self righteousness, or go run with your tail between your legs to that two-faced rat I used to call a best friend. Either way, I donât give a damn,â you say, in a way that very much sounds like you give a damn unfortunately, and spin on your heel to continue pushing your cart down to the juice section.
âYuna and Iââ you hear him say behind you, and just the mention of her name on his tongue makes your heart ache in your chest, to the point you need to place a flat palm over it just to alleviate the pain, âIâ...I broke things off with her yesterday.â
Fuck. Pretend like youâre not fazed by that info. Pretend like youâre not fazed by that info.
âOkay? Whatever,â you barely manage to say.
Heâs silent for a moment behind you. The wheels of your cart squeak as they roll.Â
âI mean, weâre not together anymore. Iâm not seeing her anymore,â he clarifies, as if he didnât believe you heard him right the first time.
âCool,â you comment, tone colder this time, since you had the practice round.Â
âYou donâtââ Choso starts, a rattle of hurt and confusion in his voice, âyou donât care about that?â
âNope.âÂ
He reaches out to grab your wrist, and the contact burns through your skin, like something so familiar yet so foreign. You turn your head to look at him.Â
âIâŚâ he starts, and you can see his chest rising and falling with more intensity. Oh god. Please. Please donât say it. Youâre not sure you can handle hearing it. âI really miss you.â
Damn it, he said it.
Your posture relaxes slightly when you take a long look at him. You finally notice his hair has gotten longer in just the three weeks youâve been apart, layered locks curling at the end of his neck, and itâs the first time youâve noticed such a small detail because you were so used to spending everyday with him. He spent most of the week at your house, since the two of you could never formally move in with one another after your mother was diagnosed and it was easier for him to come by to yours so you could continue to keep an eye on her. Thereâs no option to live on your own and start your own life when youâre taking care of someone sick. They become your priority, not yourself, but youâd still make every single sacrifice youâve made for your mother over and over again in a heartbeat if you had to relive the past five years.Â
But that meant that you never had a real and true chance to live the life that you wanted with Choso. A place just for the two of you, lived in intimate solitude and not with the cries of your mother down the hall when she feels too sick to get up out of bed or when she cannot remember her own name. But you had never been this far apart from him to where you notice his hair is an inch longer than it was the last time you saw him. He was never that far away, as he is now. And youâve just now realized it. Â
âI donât,â you start, swallowing the lump in your throat and your voice quivers ever so slightly when you speak, âI donât care that you miss me.â You take a deep breath. âIâm getting married this weekend.â
His face entirely relaxes, like a calm before the storm, before it twists with so much confusion and incredulity and shock andâwas that horror on his face?
âWhat?â he practically spats out, âitâs only been three weeks since we broke up!â
âUhh,â you glance up at the ceiling of the store, just in time for an employee to make an announcement on the overhead for a manager at checkout lane 2 please, and then you glance back down at him, âI was having an affair while we were dating.â An easy lie.Â
He scowls. âYeah fucking right. Thereâs no way youâd cheat on me.â
His words burn bitter. The fact that he couldnât even fathom you hurting him the same way he hurt you makes you clench your teeth. Because he knew you were better than he was, and that you were too good for him, and yet he still wasted your honor.
His friends, who used to be yours too, have probably fed him lies since the breakup. Like itâs okay, man. You broke up with her before you got involved with someone else. You didnât do anything wrong.
But you say bullshit to all of that. Because after seven years of being together, you canât just cold turkey a relationship like that to sleep with someone else, and then claim itâs not cheating. Technicalities like that were no vindication if the betrayal hurt all the same in the end. Because it still felt like you got cheated on regardless.
âWhatever. I donât need to explain myself to you,â you tell him, âIâm getting married this weekend, so I really donât give a damn about anything between us anymore. Itâs over.â
âWho are you marrying?â he asks, suddenly breaking a sweat over the news like heâs starting to suspect youâre actually being serious.
âMy neighbor.â
His face twists with disgust. âOld man Jenkins? Heâs eighty-four years old.â
You roll your eyes. âNot the one on my left, you idiot. My neighbor to my right.â
The corner of his mouth tugs up in a ridiculing smirk, and the sight of it makes your skin crawl. He scoffs. âThereâs no way. You hate that guy.â
âItâs true. Iâm marrying him.â
âSeriously??â He guffaws at you, leaning in closer to you and you lean away until your back is resting on the handle of your shopping cart. âThe obnoxious realtor I once heard you talking in your sleep about how much you want to murder him and then dump him in a lake?â
âWhat?! I talk in my sleep?!â you gasp.
He rolls his eyes. âYeah. You have for years.â
âWhy the fuck didnât you tell me that?!â
He looks annoyed. âBecause youâre such a hypochondriac. You wouldâve thought you had a brain tumor or something, and Iâd have to deal with the paranoia that follows suit.â
âChoso,â you say to him with a strict tone, jutting your hip out to the side in preparation to scold, âmy mother has Alzheimerâs, which is genetic, and I was having an abnormal neurological symptom for years which has studies to show is an early indication of dementia and you just chose not to tell me because you didnât want to be annoyed?!â
âSee?â he gestures to you, âyouâre doing it right now. How did we go from just sleep talking to âI might have dementiaâ?âÂ
âWe,â you point between you and him, âare never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever getting back together. If thereâs one thing you can pull through that stupid skull of yours, make it that.â
âExcuse me,â you hear a tiny voice squeak out, and you turn to your right to see a little kid trying to push past the two of you to grab a box of GoGurt in the Yogurt section. You move your cart forward by bumping it with your butt to get out of the kidâs way, and Choso circles around to the front of your cart before you start moving forward again. Like heâs literally stopping you from moving on from him.Â
âYouâre lying about marrying this guy,â Choso says like itâs a fact. In typical cop gaslighting fashion. âYouâre just saying that to make me jealous.â
You roll your eyes. âNo. Iâm just that hot and gorgeous that I made a man fall in love with me in three weeks.â
âHeâs in love with you?â he asks.
âDuh, he wants to marry me. When you dumped me, I found comforting solace in my next-door-neighbor, and we fell into bed with one another, and now he feels the obligation to provide for me for the rest of my life. Whatâs so hard to believe about that? You didnât find abrupt matrimony odd when we binged all three seasons of Bridgerton two months ago.â
âThat show is set in the fuckinâ regency era,â he hisses at you, âlook around. Thereâs plastic bags of Hot Cheetos with Red 40 in them everywhere. Does this look like the 1800s to you?â
You have to be careful with him. Heâs a cop, who could arrest you for medical insurance fraud, and would also have a personal vendetta against your marriage because boo hoo he misses you. But yes, he was right, you did want to make him jealous, and you just canât help it.
âWell, me and him have a love that no one else can understand, so suck it. Iâm marrying him, and heâs super into me, and he canât wait to spend the rest of his life with me, and he desperately wants to put babies in me, andââ
âAnd whereâs the ring he gave you, then?â
Fuck. You briefly flick your gaze down to your left hand and note the daunting absence of a shiny diamond on your ring finger. Note to self, Gojo needs to buy you a ring.
âI left it at home,â you mumble.
âUh-huh, as all newly engaged women who have been waiting for a ring all their life would do.â
That pisses you off. Because you were waiting your whole life for him to put a ring on your finger, and he never did.Â
âGo fuck a fleshlight,â you snarl at him, unfortunately in earshot of the GoGurt kid and his mom shoots you a nasty look, but youâre a jaded woman after everything youâve been through and you ram your cart into Choso so hard you swear you couldâve cracked his knee caps, and he doubles over in enough pain for you to have the time to leave him stranded there as you push your cart all the way to the end of the store.Â
You finally make it to the orange juice section, the one thing you needed, although your cart is filled with things you didnât need, because thatâs always how these grocery runs go. You try to take a few breaths to calm down the fast beating in your heart after that confrontation with Choso. Youâre not good with confrontation, even though it might seem like you are, but youâre just putting on a face. Acting strong, when really all you want to do is curl up into a ball and cry. But there are bills to pay, and images to upkeep, and orange juice to replenish.Â
Your hand reaches out for the handle on the refrigerator door, but just before you curl your fingers around it, another hand beats you to it. Itâs a large and masculine hand, with veins disappearing into the cuffed felted fabric of a suit jacket, and the knuckles turn a shade lighter than the olive skin around them when the fingers flex around the handle.Â
You glance up at the person standing next to you, who you register towers over you in height. He has long, sleek black hair that shimmers under fluorescent lighting, some of which is tied up and out of his face, while the rest cascades over his back. But thereâs tendrils of hair falling over the left side of his face, barely distracting you through the intensity of purple in his eyes when he glances at you.
âAh, apologies,â he says, and the way he speaks is so calm and gentle, different from the intimidating aura he holds himself with. He retreats his hand from the handle.
âOh, thatâsââ you find yourself stuttering, â...thatâs okay.â You grab the handle and open it, the chill rush of the fridge hitting you as your eyes peruse the selection of orange juice cartons while his eyes remain on you. You awkwardly glance at him again. âSorry, d-did you also need to get orange juice?â
He nods. âYes, I did.â
Not a man of many words, you think to yourself. Or maybe just around people heâs just met.
Your eyes catch the familiar labeling of your go-to orange juice, the one with no pulp and has added Vitamins D and E (basically the one for children), but you realize thereâs only one left. You grab it anyway and put it in your cart. When you glance up at the handsome stranger beside you, thereâs a slight look of amusement on his face.
âSeems we both have the same taste in orange juice,â he comments.Â
âOh no,â you say with a small laugh, âIâm sorry. Itâs the last one.â Your eyes widen. âYouââŚyou can have it, if you wantââ
âOh, no, no,â he shakes his head, long hair swaying with the motion as he holds his hands up in front of himself, âplease. I will just find a nearby store.â
You tilt your head. âOh thereâs no other stores nearbyâŚunless you get on the highway for at least twenty minutes. Itâs aâŚsmall town.â
His lax expression finally cracks into one of subtle surprise. âThatâs interesting.â
âAre youâŚnew to town?â you ask.
He nods with a small smile on his face. âIndeed. Well, just visiting. Iâm from New York.â
âOh! Wow, thatâs a long way from here.â You briefly register that he does look like a city man. Upscale restaurants, skyline views, premium outlets. The subtle fragrance of his cologne smells expensive too. âWhat are you up to while visiting?â You mentally facepalm yourself for asking personal questions, but he seems mysterious and you like peeling the layers back on people like him.
His expression drops, turning almost solemn and his eye contact that was previously very direct is suddenly averted elsewhere, âJustâŚvisiting some old friends.â There is no elaboration.
âAhhâŚI see,â you say, picking up on the hint that he has no more words to give you. âWellâŚIâll be taking the orange juiceâŚmaybe try one with pulp?â you suggest a little cheekily.Â
His lips tug upwards in a lopsided smile, one youâd call a smirk if you werenât so mesmerized to define it as one, âIâll think about it.â
You hum slightly in polite acknowledgement of him, then push your cart back towards the heart of the store without a word of goodbye.
Odd stranger, whoâs good at giving misleading answers. You wonder what life heâs come here to escape.Â
â˘ââââ˘â˘âŚâ˝âŚâ˘â˘ââââ˘
Itâs a bright, picturesque Sunday morning, with children laughing and squealing out on the streets in front of your house as they ride their scooters up hot pavement while their parents catch up on PTA drama on the lawns. Youâre standing in front of your full length mirror, trying on dress #3 for your little meeting with the courthouse today. And by little meeting, you mean your wedding. Youâre getting married today.
The dress you have on falls to below your knees and has buttons all the way from the hem right up to the base of your neck, where the collared neckline wraps around you like a noose. Suffocating, way too prim and proper, although itâd make your grandma very happy and adored to see you should you show up to church service in it.Â
Your bed is cluttered with clothes youâve thrown across it as you try to find a good dress. Your hands move with impatience as you skim through the rack of your closet for another dress to try on, since youâre starting to push the time a little too much. Youâve only got ten minutes before you need to leave.Â
A dress tucked in the corner of your closet catches your eye and you pull it out. Itâs a cream-colored milk maid dress with an underskirt to puff out the A-line silhouette, length down to your shins that would be oh-so-flattering with a cute pair of heels. There are small red flowers adorning the pattern, with tiny green leaf details as well. It was cute and sweet and feminine, something you havenât worn in a long time unlike your usual monotonous hospital scrubs, stained sweatpants and adult onesies.
It was the dress your friend Sana convinced you to buy when you thought you were going to get engaged. In the first two years of your relationship with Choso, you two talked about marriage non-stop. You both had just graduated college when you first started dating, and it felt like your lives were finally starting. At the end of the second year you two had been together for, after Christmas dinner with your family, he pulled you into his arms and you squealed with glee as he spinned you around in your childhood bedroom upstairs and told you how much he wanted to marry you, and that he was going to propose in the new year.
Your mother was diagnosed with cancer in January, and he never brought up marriage ever again.Â
He still stayed with you for five years after that though, and swiftly dodged every single question you ever asked him about his impending proposal. For five years, you were fed every excuse in the book. And in hindsight, you feel like an idiot for staying, and for still holding out hope, when what you were really holding onto was heartbreak. The feeling of not being enough, like someone was just tolerating you, and not loving you. It was easy to ignore at times, given how occupied you were with driving your mother to chemotherapy appointments and reading up on books about which diet works best to slow down the development of Alzheimerâs because your mother started showing signs of dementia just two months after the cancer diagnosis. But in those moments of freedom, where you had a moment to breathe, all you could breathe was a suffocating smoke. Because you stopped feeling wanted or loved in between all of it.
But there was a trip he planned for the two of you to Greece. It was after your mother had first successfully gotten into remission. A gasp of fresh air amongst all the pain and suffering, and you could only assume that he wanted to celebrate by taking you on a trip. Sana was convinced he was going to propose to you on this trip, and you wondered if maybe he was just waiting until your mother felt better before he proposed so that the two of you could enjoy being newly engaged without the pressure or worry. Sana took you shopping, and you bought this dress, one that clings to your form in a way that made you feel beautiful. Made you feel wanted. Made you feel worthy of being loved. Because all other parts of yourself had been overlooked and paid no attention, but you thought a dress could save you.Â
He never proposed. You left Greece with an extra suitcase of souvenirs, but without a ring on your finger or even a compliment on how beautiful you shouldâve looked to him standing there on that beach with this cream-colored dress on, arm wrapped around his. And it was at that point you became numb, and you existed in limbo for the remaining four years of your relationship. Until he finally did what you silently begged him to do, with every sullen look in your eyes when you glanced at him. Maybe it was a self-fulfilling prophecy, what he did to you. Something you willed him into because you didnât have the strength to leave, and so he had to.
You hold the dress up to your form in the mirror. Itâd still fit you, and itâs far too pretty to have only worn once. But youâve been numb for so long now, you donât even remember what itâs like to feel pretty in a dress. You unbutton yourself out of dress #3 and step into failed proposal dress #4, and as you slowly zip up the back of the dress, youâre met with resistance.Â
Fuck.
The last thing you need right now is a weight-related meltdown.
You tug up on the zipper even more, harshly, to the point you hear a stitch rip and you gasp and try to do it slowly so as not to completely tear the dress apart. But itâs not fitting. It should fit. You just assume the zip is stuck, or itâs too rigid after years of no wear.
Youâre about to do another colossal yank upwards that could potentially dislocate your shoulder when you jump at the sound of your phone chiming with a notification. And then multiple.
âWhat...the hellâŚdo you wantâŚâ you sigh to nobody, swiping your hands across the pile of dress fabric on your bed to find your phone, and when you do, you quickly tap on the screen to see the messages.
|| 11:32AM neighbor (avocado tree): Hey, are we still getting married today?
First of all, wild fucking thing to nonchalantly ask.
|| 11:32AM neighbor (avocado tree): Your carâs still parked out front, so I wasnât sure if youâve left yet. I was just about to leave, and then the thought occurred to me that we should probably carpool?
|| 11:35AM neighbor (avocado tree): But just wanted to verify, are you sure you want to go through with this? Youâre not having cold feet? Wonât be a runaway bride? Iâm not gonna be left at the altar, wondering where I went wrong?
You roll your eyes, breathing heavily still from the struggle of zipping up your dress.
|| 11:36AM You: yes, we are still getting married. I just canât zip up my dress for the life of meÂ
It takes him a whole minute to respond.
|| 11:38AM neighbor (avocado tree): Do you need help?
You blink at your phone screen. Help? What kind of help? Helping you zip up your dress?
You look over your shoulder to the full length mirror, eyeing your back. The dress was zipped up to just above the small of your back, with the rest of it flayed open to reveal the expanse of your skin. Setting your phone down, you roll your shoulders back once and flex your fingers to try again in securing this dress, but to no avail. You curse yourself for not having the flexibility, and to be honest, youâre not even sure if you can take the dress off anymore to get into something else with the way the zipper wonât budge neither up nor down. Well. Youâre just going to have to wear this dress for the rest of your life now. A scary predicament.
You pick your phone up again.
|| 11:41AM You: yes
It only takes about two minutes for him to text you that heâs at your front door, a surprisingly considerate gesture considering your mother is sleeping downstairs so itâs good he didnât ring the doorbell, and you tiptoe your way down and over the creaky floorboards of the stairs to the front entrance.Â
You slowly crack the door open only a couple inches, hiding yourself from him behind it as you peek at him. âHi.â
âHey,â he says, and he glances at his watch. âWeâve got to hurry.â
You nod, and take note of his appearance. Heâs wearing a dark fitted navy suit over a white dress shirt, which to your surprise, doesnât have the top two buttons sluttily undone for once. His suit pants are perfectly tailored to his ankles and you can barely see the exposed fabric of black socks before they disappear into his polished Oxfords. He looks like heâs going to a wedding. Oh wait, he is.Â
He raises an eyebrow at you when you refuse to reveal yourself by stepping away from behind the door. Even his hair is particularly kept and proper, swept off to the side slightly in a way that makes him look younger and you feel nervous from the intensity of those eyes, which are usually somewhat hidden by the fringe of his snowy hair, now look at you unwaveringly with no obstruction. You feel like youâre seeing him in a completely new light, and for some reason, it makes you cower behind the door even more.Â
âUh, are you going to let me in?â he asks you, his foot tapping lightly on the welcome! mat.Â
âYes,â you say, but you make no movement to prove your word.Â
ây/n,â he says, âwe need to get going.â
You sigh, tapping your fingers against the stained glass window of your front door to release some nerves before hesitantly stepping to the side and pulling the door open all the way, then youâre standing in front of him in full view. You catch a glimpse of the black tie hanging from his neck thatâs secured all the way up to the collar of his shirt, before you finally look at his face.
Those striking eyes of his round slowly until heâs looking at you wide-eyed, blinking in some sort of dazed surprise as his gaze eventually sweeps down your entire form to take in the sight of you standing barefoot on wooden floor in your cream-colored dress, and you swear you see the muscles in his jaw jump. His brow furrows like he canât believe what heâs seeing.
âYouââ he starts, that shocked blinking still taking place on his face, and you grasp the fabric of your dress in front of you from the anticipation of what heâll say, â...you look beautiful.â
A silence settles between the two of you as he continues to roam his eyes all down you like thereâs nothing that could stop him from doing it, and you feel heat in your cheeks from his compliment. Itâs just a silly little cream-colored dress. One that didnât look pretty on a beach in Greece, so why would it look beautiful on you here right now? While youâre standing at the dusty front entrance of a decades old house? Heâs bullshitting you.
âYou know you donât have to compliment me, you know that, right?â you squeak out, trying to keep your tone level and easy to fight back the raw feeling in your throat, âthis isnât a first look. There are no photographers around to capture your reaction. Weâre not actually getting married.â
âButââÂ
âCan you just help me with the dress?â you cut him off so he doesnât say anything else that makes you feel pretty right now.
â...sure,â he agrees, and he steps inside your house. You start to walk upstairs, and he follows suit, and you suddenly feel his eyes on your back so you turn around and walk up the stairs backwards while facing him.
âI donât understand the concept of first looks anyway,â he says out of nowhere to cut the silence, âisnât it a bad omen to see your partner before getting married?â
âThatâs such an outdated superstition,â you tell him as your feet finally press firmly flat at the top of the stairs.Â
One of his feet is placed next to where youâre standing up straight at the top, while the other is still on the third step down. And itâs like heâs kneeling on one knee in front of you as he looks up at you. After a moment of deep breathing on your part, you finally step away from the top of the stairs so he can finish walking up them too.
âI donât know what happened,â you say to him as you make it to the front of your full length mirror, âI was just trying to zip it up but it got stuck. And itâs not unzipping either.â
He comes up behind you, and you can see in the mirror that heâs put a decent amount of space between the two of you from the way his arms are reached out in front of him just to access the zipper. He tugs up on it.
âHm. ItâŚâ he struggles with it, âit seemsâŚâ he yanks again, âjammed?â
âFudge,â you mutter under your breath (more ladylike perhaps, as opposed to fuck) and you sulk your shoulders. âBut will it close at all, do you think?â
He takes a step closer to you, and his cologne has the fragrance of woody oak with undertones of citrus, like something expensive and sophisticated. His hand sweeps your hair off to the side and over your shoulder to the front so he has a better view, fingers brushing against the nape of your neck from the motion and you try to fight the shiver. A glance to the mirror, and you see his eyes are set on the exposed skin. He tugs to pull your dress together, and is able to cross the fabrics. âYeah, it should. I think just hold your breath for a second? Iâm going to try to see if zipping it down helps unjam it.âÂ
âOkay,â you say softly, and he eyes you in the mirror at the sudden subservience.Â
You try to hold your breath as he tugs down on the zipper, and you hear the metallic click when he succeeds in unjamming it before he zips it down just an inch. You can feel the small of your back exposed to cool air from the motion.Â
Heâs suddenly frozen entirely behind you, the knuckle of his index finger brushing against your skin as he continues to pinch the zipper between it and his thumb. You feel his slow exhale on the back of your neck. Youâre too scared to look at his expression in the mirror.
âSaââ you stutter through a gasp, âSatoru.â
âSorry,â he says quietly, and then heâs shifting on his feet once before slowly attempting to zip the dress up.Â
Heâs met with a slight resistance just underneath your shoulder blades. âHey. Just hold your breath.â
âIâm trying to,â you tell him, almost whining, because itâs hard to stop breathing when your heart is beating fast and it needs the oxygen supply.
âDo you want to try on a different dress?â he asks you.
âNo,â you immediately answer him. Youâre not sure why, but the idea of wearing this dress for the rest of your life doesnât scare you anymore. In fact, you never want to take it off.
Your hands twiddle with the flimsy string at your collarbone that you tied to connect the fabric across your chest, and then you realize. âOhâŚmaybe I need toââ you tug at the end of the string, âundo this? That might make it looser?â You finally glance at the mirror to seek his approval of your suggestion.
His eyes meet yours, and when he sees what youâre referring to, his eyes widen. âBut that wouldââ
âJust donât look,â you say simply.
You two remain looking at one another in the mirror, and you see his chest heaving slightly through the tightening of his dress shirt against the expansion of his breathing. Like youâre asking the impossible of him.
âOr Iâll kill you,â you say.
He sighs, and his eyes flit down to your zipper again. You swear you feel his hand tremble slightly. âAlright.â
You pull on the end of the string, watching him in the mirror to make sure his eyes donât wander, and the fabric covering your breasts falls open, but you use a hand to still sparsely cover your skin with the cloth where you can. In the reflection, you see his jaw clench but his eyes remain on the zipper, and only briefly flicker to the bed once. Then heâs zipping up your dress with ease.Â
You quickly tie the string above your chest once more to cover yourself up, and then spin to face the mirror, petting down the fabric of your dress and throwing your hair back over your shoulder. It was a snug fit, but at least it still fit.Â
Heâs a step behind you with his hands shoved in his suit pockets, looking at your face with a slight tilt to his head like heâs studying you in the mirror just as much as youâre studying yourself. And then he pulls his hand out of his pocket to glance at his watch again. âItâs almost noon,â he says.Â
âWhat?!â you bark at him. âWeâre fucking late!!! Why didnât you say anything?!?!â
âHuh??â he baffles. âIâve been trying to tell you we need to rush this entire time.â
âOh my god, oh my god,â you say, pacing your room to find your things in a scurry, picking your purse up and then grabbing your Manila folder of paperwork from your desk, and you try to walk past him to the door when you trip over the five pairs of shoes that you had been trying on earlier, almost twisting your ankle, and you gasp then grab onto his suit jacket for purchase before his arm attempts to reach out to hold you upright but to no avail since you tug on him as you fall straight backwards onto your bed and bring him down with you.Â
His hands sink into the soft mattress on both sides of your head, wrists tickled by your hair, as he hovers over you, and your fingers quickly curl into little balls at your chest as you shrink underneath him, looking up at his surprised expression, likely from having to suddenly brace himself from falling right on top of you.
You both look at each other, blinking as you come down from the sudden chaos, and his tie thatâs hanging from his neck brushes against your knuckle and falls over your hand to graze the skin above your breasts. His eyes briefly flicker to the sight, and he catches himself only to stare at your lips instead.
Even through thick layers of fabric, you can see the thick curves of the muscles in his arms, pulled taut from how heâs holding himself up over you. And for once, you wish the buttons of his shirt were undone, so you can see what heâs hiding underneath. The hair he had swept up above his eyes now falls freely with gravity, soft tufts that dangle above you and shadow over the blue of his eyes as he looks at you with a furrowed brow thatâ...that makes him look handsome.Â
You must be ovulating.
No, wait, you finished ovulating a couple days ago.
Oh god.
Was your next door neighbor hot this entire time?
There was simply no way.Â
You refuse to believe it.
Youâre laying still like a deer in highlights, motionless underneath him, before he curls his arm around your waist to bring you up with him as he stands up straight, and you only spend a moment pressed up against him before you get yourself out of his grasp by pushing flat palms against his chest, and then the two of you are in proper distance from one another once again.
âD-Donât ever do something like that ever again,â you stutter, shimmying your hips slightly to pull the snug fabric down your waist from where it had risen up.
âI didnât do anything,â he grumbles, and he runs a hand through his hair. Now it looks like it always does, no longer prim in style.
âWhatever, letâs just go.â You slip your feet into one of the pairs of heels sprawled across on the floor, and then you head straight for the door. âYou drive.â
You hear him sigh behind you. âYes maâam.â
â˘ââââ˘â˘âŚâ˝âŚâ˘â˘ââââ˘
The courthouse is bustling with people when you two arrive but Gojoâs pleasantly able to pull into an open curbside parking spot right in front of the entrance. Youâre surprised when he comes around to the passenger side to open the door for you, and you swat his hand away when he offers it to you too, but you probably shouldâve taken it, since you almost twist your ankle for the second time today as you step out onto the curb and get used to walking in heels again like a newborn fawn.
âShouldâve taken my hand,â he says to you, smile turned upwards into a smirk as he watches you struggle while heâs a few steps ahead of you.
âGive it to me then,â you grit through your teeth as you wobble, giving up your pride to avoid adding yet another medical bill to the list of debts in your name.
âNah,â he says, shoving his hands in his pockets, âtoo late. Lost your chance.â You curse his entire lineage in your head.
You two make it inside the courtroom, and the first person you look for is Hana, whose head you catch at the front row much to your pleasant surprise since she is your sole witness to sign on the marriage certificate today. But in your study of the room to find her, you notice that there are a lot of other people in here as well.
âDonât tell meâŚDid you invite people??â you ask Gojo, grabbing onto his sleeve to get his attention and also for balance, but he doesnât need to know that latter part.
He glances down at you. âNo? Why would I invite people to my fake wedding?â
Your eyes peruse the room once again, and you realize that most of them are just old retired people with nothing better to do on a Sunday than visit the courtroom. Some are elderly couples, eyeing you and Gojo as you two make your way down the aisle with sweetness in their eyes like awwwwwww to be a young couple in love once more <3 while they wait for the judge to call on their hundreds of unpaid parking tickets because they donât know how to access an internet portal.
âD-Do you have the marriage license?â you squeak out to Gojo, who has now adjusted his walking speed to match yours.
âNo, I left it at home,â he tells you in a flat tone. âOf course I brought the marriage license.â
âI was just checking, jeezâŚâ you grumble.
Gojo hands the clerk the folder he was holding in his hand, and you hand in yours too.
Oh god. Your peripheral vision already recognizes him before your brain can, but you see an extremely familiar silhouette standing guard off to the side of the Judgeâs bench, and your gaze immediately snaps in that direction.
Choso stands there, in his Sheriff Deputyâs uniform, his thumbs tucked into his vest as he puffs his chest out in assertion of his oh so important duty securing the courthouse on a Summer Sunday from any devastating danger, such as an elderly man not wanting to pay a parking ticket and then proceeding to charge towards the judge at 2 MPH, and you canât help but roll your eyes from his attitude and scowl at him. Of course he pulled some strings and saw when you were getting allegedly married and decided to show up on that exact day. Whatever. Youâll pay him no mind. As long as he doesnât speak now.
You and Gojo walk back to the lower desk in front of the Judgeâs Bench.
âAh! y/n, hello my dear, how are you?â the judge calls out to you.
âHi Judge Jin,â you say meekly with a small wave, your voice echoing in the room, âgood, and yourself?â
6/4/2024 1232: Judge Jin is a 72 y/o man with a past medical history of hypertension, hypercholesterolemia, hyperglycemia, GERD, liver cirrhosis and COPD, who endorses a social history of frequent tobacco usage and occasional alcohol consumption. Patient presents to the ED with chief complaint of chest pain, onset two hours ago after he drank three bottles of beer, andâ
âMuch better since you took care of me last week!â he humphs, patting his stomach.
You snap out of your automatic charting that was droning on in your head on reflex from how many times Judge Jin has shown up to the ED for acute chest pain which almost always ends up just being beer-induced GERD.
âAt the hospital!â you clarify, âfor taking care of you at the hospital!â
The man laughs heartily from where he sits up at the raised platform bench. âYes! And Mr. Gojo! Nice to see you as well.â
You flit your eyes to Gojo, like you know him too? He only briefly spares you a sidewards glance before looking back at Judge Jin. âLikewise, sir.â
You postulate he scammed the fuck out of the man into signing a forty-year lease on a condo in the shady part of town, and youâll leave it at that.
âI have to say, I am a little shocked by this matrimonial partnership!â Judge Jin chimes in. âBut do you both swear to enter this marriage under just circumstances? I will need verbal affirmation from you both.â
Gojo raises his hand up in the air to swear on it, and you remember that heâs possibly done this before. Yâknow how people have a courtroom wedding before a real wedding, something like that. And maybe thatâs why he knows to raise his hand, because you didnât even know you were supposed to raise your hand until now.
A real wedding. Something youâve pictured a lot in your head, and so much more different than the arrangement you find yourself in right now. And because the pain of imagining yourself tying the knot with someone is too much right now, especially when the man you thought you were going to marry stands in uniform five feet away from you and probably doesnât even recognize the dress youâre wearing right now, you glance over to Gojo and you try to imagine what a real wedding wouldâve been like for him. Since heâs done it before.
He probably had a tacky wedding, like in a barn with barrels of beer used as tables with barely flickering string lights hung across wooden planks high on a triangular ceiling. The reception and the ceremony likely happened under the same roof, because he seems like the minimalist type, more focused on the feelings behind it and all, and not the grandeur.
Or maybe he was into the grandeur. Maybe he had a wedding on a skyline penthouse in the city, wearing expensive cologne like the one heâs wearing now, and a Dior suit he got custom made because it was a once in a lifetime occasion so why not? The image becomes a little too vivid in your head now, where you can picture this woman heâs marrying too. Pretty, tall just like him, wearing a ball gown white dress. He wouldâve told her she looked beautiful, too. He wouldâve told her he canât wait to spend the rest of his life with her. Vows uttered shakingly into the microphone at an altar while the sun is setting far into the sky, shimmering off of high building windows until the air is golden and it reflects off of his and his soon-to-be wifeâs face. And when theyâve professed their love for one another, he grabs her by the waist and dips her in a kiss, for the perfect picture against the perfect backdrop in front of all the perfect little people because there probably was a photographer at that event, wanting to capture the moment.
You snap out of the dazed moment when a loud voice calls out your name, and in a shock, you glance back up at Judge Jin whoâs looking at you with slight irritation.
âHuh?â you squeak out, and then turn to look at Gojo, whoâs got a look of mild concern on his face as he raises an eyebrow at you.
âPlease swear that this marriage is under just circumstances,â Judge Jin states with a cadence that indicates heâs commanded this of you multiple times already.
âOh!â you stand up straight, âIââŚIâm sorry.â You hold your hand up. âYes, I swear this marriage is under just circumstances.â Just like Higurama had you practice. Heâd be proud. Phew, the hard part was over.
The rest of the ceremony goes by in a rather fast blur, and itâs a little awkward when you both have to tell Judge Jin that you donât have any vows to exchange at the moment when he offers the time for them, but Gojo comes up with some lie about how the real vows will be at our formal ceremony, and Judge Jun seems entirely satisfied and a little too ecstatic by the answer before allowing you two and Hana to sign the marriage certificate.
âAnd rings?â Judge Jin asks as he peers down through his glasses to the paper he was holding at his desk. âWe can now make time for the exchange of rings.â
Youâre prepared for Gojo to come up with another lie about how the real rings will be at our formal ceremony, but you see him shuffling with something in his pocket in your periphery. Hm? You glance down at his hip, and you see him pull something shiny out.
He turns to face you, and he holds his hand out to you with an up-facing palm. You blink at him and then glance down at his hand. And then you look up and blink at him, and then glance down his hand. And then you look up and blink at him, and then glâ
âGive me your hand,â he says to you, a little hushed and rushed.
âWhy???â you ask, baffled.
âSo I can put a ring on your finger?â he says, like itâs the most casual thing. Like getting a ring slipped onto your fourth finger is the most casual Sunday for you, when itâs something youâve dreamt of your whole entire life.
You finally take a long hard look at the ring heâs holding in his right hand. It shimmers with every glint of light in the courtroom off of every angle, no doubtedly precisely cut diamond from a jeweler who really cares about their craft, and you swear youâve saved a similar looking ring to one of your Pinterest wedding boards before.
You hesitantly bring your hand up and hover it over his.
âYour left hand, silly,â he tells you.
âOh, right,â you say, and hand him your left one instead.
He holds it in his hand that is much warmer than yours, and itâs so tender, the way he gently slips the ring onto your finger. It fits with ease, perfection actually, and you canât help raising your hand up in the air, spreading your fingers weakly as you admire the stone now sitting above your knuckle. Itâs pretty.
You feel Gojoâs eyes on you, as heâs halted in frame, and you glance past your hand to look at his face. You dislike him. You do. You should. Heâs your annoying as fuck next-door-neighbor. So then why does your heart feel like it could burst right now?
A glimmer of silver catches your eye, and you look down at his hands as he slips a silver ring onto his left hand while facing you before he turns to face the front again, signaling the end of the ring exchange, except you didnât get to put it on his hand. He didnât give you the chance.
âAlright! Wonderful!â Judge Jin exclaims, whose eyesight is probably too poor to have seen that it wasnât even a proper ring exchange. âWith the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife!â
There is scattered applause across the courtroom, a few cheers as well, as you two stand in front of the court of law in holy matrimony.
Judge Jin glances at Gojo. âWell, young man, you may now kiss the bride!â
âOhââŚthatââ you stutter, âthatâs not necessaââ
âOkay,â Gojo says, more to affirm Judge Jin than in acknowledgement of your protest, and in a series of what feels like just one motion, he wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you two him and then heâ
He kisses you.
He kisses you like itâs real, like thereâs history, like itâs a pure thing meant to last and not something you quite literally put a time stamp on. The kiss muffles the small sound that comes from your throat, your hands held up in the air in some slight surrender before they slowly settle on his shoulders as he bends you backwards over his forearm to deepen the kiss and the cheers surrounding you grow with a fervor that has your cheeks burning red but for some reason you donât want it to endâ
And then he pulls away from you, eyes darting across the features of your face in close proximity as he exhales slowly, like a release, and it feels like the two of you are the only ones in this room before he glances at your lips one last time and then he releases his hold on you. You stand shocked, and briefly glance at Choso, who looks like heâs about to burst a fuse off the top of his head.
What.
What.
What?
And just like that, you were married to your insufferable next-door neighbor.
.
.
.
[end of chapter 2]
a/n. thank youuu soooo so much for reading this chapter of ihm!! iâm kinda liking the writing style iâve adopted for this series, itâs kinda lax n lenient sort of like a stream of consciousness and i hope it doesnât come of too crass of informal lol iâm just playing around w some writing styles rn. ANYWHO i hope you enjoyed!! btw i picture choso as long-hair choso in any modern au (and not pigtails choso) so if you see me describing his hair in the way that i do, thatâs why lol. love you all so much, hope to see you in the next one <3
⸠take me to chapter three!
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meme of the chapter:
#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fanfiction#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo x reader smut#gojo x reader fluff#gojo x reader angst#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru angst#gojo satoru fluff#smut#fluff#angst#gojo satoru fanfiction#suguru x reader#choso x reader#long fic#jjk fanfiction#jjk series#romance#fake dating#fake marriage#neighbors au#ongoing series#humor#slow burn#mutual pining#enemies to lovers#gojo x reader series
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Some silly little ghibli + rain pfps <3
From: Kikiâs Delivery Service, Howlâs Moving Castle, Ponyo, Arrietty, and two from My Neighbour Totoro
#studio ghibli#kikiâs delivery service#howlâs moving castle#ponyo#arrietty#totoro#kikis delivery service#howls moving castle#the borrower arrietty#the secret world of arrietty#my neighbor totoro#my neighbour totoro#anime#screencaps#ghibli#ghibli films#rain#april showers#spring aesthetic#rainy#gloomy#fantasy#romance#slice of life#anime pfp#anime icons#anime profile pictures#anime cover#matching pfps#matching icons
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