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justinewt · 2 years

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Father And Daughter - TWD REWRITE Chapter Fourteen

[TWD FANFICTION-MASTERLIST]

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Summary: The Whisperers’ threat had been put to an end and finally, the survivors of Alexandria and the other communities could focus on rebuilding their homes after the confrontations with their enemies had a toll on them. Alden and Anna enjoyed the peace that was given to them, raising the poor Adam who first lost his biological mother and then Earl and Tammy Rose, his adoptive parents and helping around in Alexandria, but the troubles never really stop and as they cared for the boy, Anna found herself thinking of her late mother, remembering her early days in the apocalypse, and the traumas that followed...

Words: 6.9k

Warnings: TWD spoilers season 10 (finale episode “Here’s Negan”), long chapter, some peaceful everyday life scenes, fluff, but then; LOTS of flashbacks, angst, loss, grief, mention of suicide, childhood traumas, diving into early days of Anna’s survival with her parents,

The people of Alexandria had been working hard on rebuilding the community for the past month or so, even Anna helped renovate the ruins that had been left of their homes after the Whisperers came through the camp. If a couple weeks ago she was just a bit sick and not really sure if she was pregnant or not, she was getting more and more convinced of it as her stomach looked way more bloated than usual and she felt tired a lot more and a lot quicker, and her father had to tell her to take a break and have some rest. He knew of her condition and neither he nor Alden wanted her to overwork herself and be exhausted as a result. Her relationship with Alden also took a new turn when they adopted the little Adam as his first adoptive parents, Earl and Tammy Rose had both died and they found themselves already parents of a 1-year-old boy. Anna grew to love that boy as her own, caring for him and raising him alongside Alden, which greatly strengthened the bond between them. She loved having her little family and being able to focus on that in the aftermath of the last confrontation with the Whisperers. There was finally some peace they could enjoy.

But even that peace was disturbed by the animosity Maggie felt towards Negan, even though it was a little less bad than what Anna expected. Anna went to sat on the steps in front of the house in which Alden, her and Adam had moved into, and she held Adam on her laps, looking around. In the distance she could see her father hammering nails into a beam when Maggie and her son walked down the street and looked at him. They stared at each other for a few seconds and despite the distance between them, one could easily feel the tension. It had been like this ever since Maggie came back to Alexandria and saw Negan around. She stood up, carrying her son in her arms and approached her father. He noticed her approaching and smiled tenderly at her and Adam, for whom he had had no difficulty in loving like his actual grandson. He stroked the little boy's blond hair and Adam looked at Anna innocently grabbing the pendant around her neck. The very pendant containing old pictures of her and her parents. She looked down, glancing at the necklace.

“You still have it.” Negan said softly and she raised her head, nodding. These two pictures inside of the locket were the only memories she had of her life before the outbreak, the only memories of her mother.

“Of course. I still have your knife too.” He chuckled, and as she looked away, she felt him staring at her. It was a soft gaze, with a glimpse nostalgia in his eyes.

“You remind me so much of your mother.”

“I know.” She glanced down, her eyes getting teary at the thought of her mom. He softly drew Anna into a hug before she walked away to go and find Alden. She swiftly wiped her eyes and as she left her father, she looked back and saw Carol talk to him. She frowned a bit, having no idea why they then going the opposite direction together. Given Carol had all her gears and bow, Anna didn’t think much of it, figuring they left to hunt or something. She eventually found Alden, working on cutting planks of wood. He straightened up at the sight of Anna and Adam and gave her a sweet kiss before smiling at Adam and kissing him on the head, caressing his hair. The little boy giggled, calling out to his dad and he stretched out his arms to him. Anna smiled, passing the child to Alden. In that moment, everything that had happened outside the walls of Alexandria as well as inside was gone. They were in their little bubble, the three of them. It was those moments of peace that Anna cherished so much after all she went through. It was really refreshing to love and feel loved. She loved the family she was making with Alden, and it had become the one thing she cared for most and the fact that her father, the one person that had always had so much importance and influence in her life, was a part of it was her dream come true. She wished for this peace to last forever if it only could.

She never knew such a serenity and now that she looked back, even when she was a kid and thought her life was perfect, it wasn’t. Her father cheated on her mother, and he was never the perfect role model she thought he was, which she found out the hard way during her years at the Sanctuary. She remembered the day she was stuck in the trailer with her father and Gabriel and the latter made him confess “his sins”. Gabriel almost got some tears out of that tough man as he told his story, and it was a sight Anna never thought she would witness. For as long as she could remember, she had never seen her father cry or get emotional. She had seen him get aggressive, but it was never towards her. She heard him yell, or argue with her mom, but he never scolded her. Anna kept thinking about this as she walked around Alexandria until she noticed Carol coming back, alone. She remembered seeing her leaving with her father, but he was nowhere to be found. Frowning in confusion, looking around, she took a quick step towards her. Carol noticed her but didn’t stop walking until the young woman addressed her.

“Carol, where’s my dad? Didn’t you go out hunting with him?” Carol stopped in her tracks, apparently not so pleased to be stopped by Anna to talk about this but she turned to her.

“We decided it was best if he went to live outside Alexandria.” Anna was left there in bewilderment and watched Carol walk away, not really giving her time to reply or say anything. She could only realise that her father had been taken away from her again. Anna wasn’t alone but she had spent so long both trying to get away from and then back to her father, that it felt like it in that moment.

15 YEARS AGO (yeah, I know it’s supposed to have been around 12 years but shut up thank you I’m too lazy to fix my fic’s timeline)

Anna threw her school bag on the backseat, slammed the car door shut and went to sit on the passenger sit, in the front, sipping the strawberry smoothie her mother had bought her since after picking it up from school, they had gone to the mall. It was a bit hard money-wise lately but Lucille, her mother, had wanted to get her a little something she liked since the young girl was doing so well at school. Unlike in school, things weren't going as smoothly at home. Her father had lost his job as a high school gym teacher after getting into a fight with a man. That's hos her mother explained it to her anyway, but Anna knew her father beat up a man in a bar, but she didn't know the details of what happened and never dared ask him, even though he would probably just tell her. She wasn't scared of him, he would never hurt her, but she was smoewhat disappointed maybe, because he had lost his job because of it and the girl could see how her mother was burdened with taking care of the house and having to scold him all the time. He had become quite the man child since he was fired and the 11-year-old wondered if they would find him already in the basement, playing video games and yelling profanities while doing so. He had become less of the role model that Anna used to look up to. She always adored both her parents and see their relationship deteriorate was hard on her.

Anna stared at the cup in her hands as she slurped the smoothie through the straw, amusingly cupping her cheeks to the max. Music was playing on the radio and a song that the girl instantly recognized started playing. She smiled at her mom as the woman already started to hum the song but there was some sort of sadness or nostalgia in her eyes. She didn’t really understand why she looked this way and turned her head, staring straight ahead. They arrived in the driveway to the side of their house and Lucille parked the car. Anna got off, grabbed her bag and followed her mom inside. Her father’s voice could already be heard from downstairs along with some loud Rock music. Anna sat down in the living room to do her homeworks while her mother tried telling Negan that the two of them came home but he was too busy with whatever game he was playing. Anna bit her lips, silently watching as her mother sighed in annoyance and grumbled as she walked back and forth around the house, picking up things that were lying around and doing some tidying up and cleaning.

After about an hour, Anna was almost done with her homeworks and Lucille was finishing the dishes when her father finally came out of his cave.

“Oh, you’re home?” He asked, as if it were surprising to see them already home, and walked into the kitchen, opening up the fridge to get a few bottles of beers. Anna looked at what he was doing from the corner of her eyes, dangling her legs under the dining table.

“We have been for over an hour.” Lucille retorted, her back to him as she washed the dishes. He glanced at his wife, noticing she was mad at him, but he didn’t say anything else and walked into the living room, holding about three or four bottles in his hand.

“Hey, apple pie.” He kissed her on the head, stroked her hair and headed back to the basement. This was a typical afternoon for the young girl, ever since her dad lost his job and spent his days at home doing basically nothing, going out when he had appointments. She finished her homeworks and almost jumped on the couch, turning the TV on to watch some cartoons. It had only been about ten minutes of peace when she saw her mom walk across the living room, holding some leather jacket and a piece of paper and went to the basement. Anna was a bit confused so she turned off the TV and discreetly followed her downstairs, staying in the shadows as her mom entered the room. She never willingly listened to her parents’ fights, where it was mostly her mom doing the yelling and her father being rather passive, but right now she was wondering what it was about, and on top of that, she had never seen this jacket so it made her curious.

“Don’t be such a pussy! This is how you get better! You gotta take it!” He declared, not realizing Lucille was walking towards him until she stood in front of the TV.

“Are you playing with children?”

“Uh, teenagers. I think. Mostly.” He shrugged before replying to someone in a lower voice and looked up to his wife, clearly not knowing what she wanted with him. Anna could hear the anger in her mom’s voice as she looked down at the piece of paper in her hand.

“Please tell me that you did not spend $600 on this “Happy Days” bullshit.” She shook the jacket, staring at Negan who was apparently not as troubled by the amount of money. Anna didn’t even dare to ask her mom for stuff because she knew they had money problems and her father was spending the little they had recklessly. At 11 she was almost more mature and thoughtful than the grown man that he was. At the time, Anna didn’t realize it wasn’t normal. It used to be her normal.

“Calm down. Don’t worry.” He said in a casual voice. “I got two leads. One’s a lock, but the other one pays better, and I am just celebrating a little early, is all.

“Really?” He nodded with a silly smile that was probably going to annoy her mother even more. Her tone got harsh as she gradually rose her voice. “Tell me about these two leads. Cause you can’t be a gym teacher anymore You have a misdemeanour assault on your record, and you refuse to go back to school. So, please, oh, I would love it if you would tell me all about this job that you got that’s gonna pay for this.” He kept quiet and understanding he couldn’t explain himself, she turned around. As her mother was about to walk out of the basement, Anna quietly climbed the stairs.

“I threw the receipt away.” She heard her father say and as she settled on the couch, lying down, acting like she was watching the cartoon on the TV, her mother let out a grunt at his reply and she slammed a door. While she went back to doing house chores, outside the sun was setting and soon, night had fallen and it was time for dinner. Anna and her parents were quietly eating, all seated around the dinner table, her mother and her on one side, her father in front of them. The girl was just staring down at her plate, purposely not eating the heap of green beans to the side. Like many kids her age, she didn’t like vegetables and luckily for her, even though her parents always tried to get her to eat some, they never forced her.

“How’s the food?” She glanced at her dad as he tried making conversation.

“It’s good. Did you do somethin’ different?”

“Yeah, I… uh… I tried a little rosemary instead of oregano, and there’s a little white-wine reduction in the chicken stock.” He explained, and Lucille listened but kept very quiet. Anna picked up some green beans with her fork, watched it for a second, and slid it off the fork with her finger deciding against eating it.

“Do I have to eat those?” She asked, staring the beans down and her parents looked at her.

“No.” Negan chuckled and shook his head while Lucille smiled softly at her daughter. Besides from the disliked vegetables, her plate was practically empty already. “Was it good?”

“Yeah.” She sketched a smile. “Can I taste your chicken?” He looked at Lucille for permission and then cut a piece of his chicken stock and handed his fork to Anna. He had cooked hers apart from theirs so there wouldn’t be any alcohol in her food since she was a kid but he ended up letting her get a bite anyway. She took the fork and Negan chuckled at her reaction because she apparently found the taste of it very good. Then, her mom turned to her.

“It’s getting late. If you’re done, clear your plate and check your bag’s ready for tomorrow. Don’t forget your books.” As Anna stood up, she followed up with another question. “Oh, and Emma's mom confirmed it wass still ok for tomorrow night, don't forget your stuff and your pjs.”

“Yes, mom.” She replied mechanically as she put the dish in the sink and walked out of the kitchen to kiss her dad good night. Her mom was often the one who came to tuck her in, sometimes her dad came before she had fallen asleep and he would read her a story but she deemed herself not a baby anymore so it happened way less than it used to when she was under the age of 9. She walked into her room and stood by the door as she heard her mother spoke.

“My appointment’s tomorrow at 2:15.”

“What appointment?”

“I’m getting an MRI.” Anna had no idea what it was but by the tone of her mom’s voice rising up at the lack of reaction from her dad, she figured it was somewhat of a big deal. She went to change into her pjs, trying not to listen but in vain. “I need you to drive me home.”

“Uh, I can’t. Tomorros at 2:15? I-I have a meeting with the probation officer. Besides, you know how the doctors can be. They have you sit around for three hours with your ass hanging out, and then they tell you everything’s fine.” He sounded dismissive, like whatever it was wasn’t important and Anna knew her mother woudn’t like it. Anna turn off the checked her bags and sat in her bed, turning off the lights and with her diary, the cover over her head, a small flashlight and a pen in hand, she wrote in her diary. She had no idea at the time of how much doing this helped her process things that happened in her daily life, especially the things that happened with her parents’ rocky relationship. She was very young and often wondering if her mom didn’t divorce him because of her was a bothering thought to have. They used to look more in love. Her father used to be less careless too. It was all these little changes that she noticed happening over time that confused her, as she didn’t understand why things changed like that. She wished she could just never become an adult, because it looked so troublesome and in the long run, unhappy.

6 MONTHS LATER

Anna sat cross-legged on her parents bed, holding one of her stuffed animals on her laps, watching her father changing the bags hanging from her mother's IV stand while the latter rummaged through a case of DVDs. They had moved all their things in the basement after the outbreak. The house was locked, the windows barricaded to protect the three of them from the dangers of the outside while they tried to survive and continue her mother’s chemotherapy. Anna remembered when she heard her parents talk about this MRI she was getting and at the time, she had no idea what it meant but the next day, when going to sleep over at her friend’s house, she looked it up. She didn’t say anything to her friend and kept it to herself, thinking about all that she had read on the disease. It was scary and deeply upsetting. Then her mother told her the news when she got home and for weeks on end, she would cry herself to sleep. Then, things went downhill, and the dead rose and started to prowl the streets and now, it had been months and even though her father’s behavior had greatly improved, it was hard on the young girl to see her mother struggle, wearing wigs to dress her head as it got bald due to the heavy treatment, her face dull and ringed.

“Trying to figure out what James Bond movie I want to watch.” Lucille said in a low voice. Anna listened to them with one ear, playing with his stuffed toy to alleviate his boredom. Their daily life since the arrival of these monsters outside had not been as hectic as before. They spent their days locked up, sometimes watching movies thanks to a generator outside and sometimes his father went on an expedition to find what his mother needed for her treatment, or sometimes he read books to them. Her mom on her sofa, him sitting on the edge of the bed and Anna curled up next to him, reading over his shoulder or snuggled in her mother’s arms. The world going upside down did give her one thing she wanted, spending time with her parents and being like a family.

“Well, baby, I think we’re gonna have to skip the movie just for now. Generator’s making too much noise.”

“Hey.” She looked up at him. “We’re gonna have to kill it.”

“Why bother right?” He wondered, adjusting the bags on the IV. Athe sound of some monster snarling outside, Anna raised her head and glanced at the small windows blocked by a few boards, the light from the outside seeping into the basement, which was very dimly lit due to the lack of electricity. “I turn the generator off for a little bit, and they lose interest. They always do.” He then walked back to the fridge, grabbed a couple bags and moved them to the freezer on top. On his way out to go check the generator, he gently stroked Anna’s hair and left the basement. The girl never liked when he went outside but someone had to, and she was forbidden to step out of the house. It was too dangerous. Eventually he came back inside and he took a book at his wife’s request, settling his glasses on his nose and sitting on the bed. Anna sat next to him, her head resting against his shoulder as he read.

“‘I see what you are feeling,’ replied Charlotte. ‘You must be surprised, very much surprised… So lately as Mr. Collins was wishing to marry you. But when you have…” He sighed, pausing. “Mama.”

“Hmm?” She hummed.

“This book sucks. It’s killing me. I-I-I can’t… I can’t do it.” He shook his head, glancing at the book with a half amused smirk. Anna chuckled at her father’s reaction and he kissed her hair before looking at Lucille.

“You’re the one that won’t let me watch James Bond. Read.” She mischieviously kicked the book with the leg she rested on his lap. Anna straightened up at the sound of the fence surrounding their house rattling because of this monster that the sound of the generator kept attracting there. Negan put a hand on his daughter’s back to reassure her and Lucille stared at him.

“You gotta take care of it.” Negan knew she was right. He got ready and went outside, armed with a hammer. He was gone for a couple minutes when Lucille grew tired of waiting and stood up.

“I’ll go see what’s taking so long. He’s never gonna kill that thing.” She dragged her IV along with her as she walked away. “Stay right there, okay?”

“Yes, mom.” Anna replied, watching her leave. A silence disturbed by the noises of struggle outside fell on the room and she lied down, sitting her plush on her stomach, silently playing with it, moving her toes around in her socks until she suddenly heard a gunshot outside and curled up, covering her ears in surprise. The monster had stopped making scary noises afterwards though. She just heard her mother’s voice coming from outside but it was muffled and she couldn’t understand what she was saying but when her parents came back, the generators was on and they watched a movie together before her father went out to get some fuel to keep the generator going because it was not only useful to watch movies, it maintained the cold temperatures needed for the bag for her mother’s treatment because without it, she would decline even quicker then she already was with the perfusion. When he came back, Lucille had taken off her wig, wrapped her head in a scarf and was lying in bed with Anna next to her. The young girl hadn’t slept in the same bed as her parents since she was a toddler but there wasn’t really enough room to move her bed out of her room and sleeping in their bed was comforting for her.

“I’m good.” Lucille said softly, resting her eyes.

“I got something for you. I found someone’s stash.” He pulled out a tiny purse and unzipped it. She chuckled. “Now, it’s a little bit dried out, but this is gonna help with your nausea. Hey. No drugs, all right, young lady?” He added, glancing at Anna and she nodded, making an expression of exaggerated disgust and he smiled.

“You’re having to go further and further every time.”

“Well, generator needs gas, and this place has been picked over. But the bright side is… that I reckon that’s exactly what’s keeping us safe. There is nothing here that anybody wants.”

“You can’t keep it up.” She declared weakly. “We need to move. We need other people.”

“It’s just too dangerous out there.”

“That’s’ my point.” Anna silently watched her parents talk, holding her stuffed animal against her chest.

“Baby, you have three treatments left. That’s it, okay? So we are gonna get your strength up, and then I will put you and Anna on my motorcycle and I will take you wherever you want to go… wherever you can dream up. I promise.”

“Okay.” She eventually agreed to it and the day went by and night fell. Every time they would go to sleep, her father would wrap his arms around her mom, trying to warm her up and fight the chills and shivers that shook her weakened body. Anna was curled up next to her mom and often find it hard to find sleep. She looked at her mom when a shiver ran through her body and she made a sound that got the girl to open her eyes. As her father began to softly sing their song to her and saw that Anna wasn’t sleeping so he gave her a comforting smile, caressing her cheek with his thumb and she closed her eyes to try to fall asleep, curled up against her mother.

“Ugh. Damn it.” Negan swore, looking out the window as an umpteenth walker came snarling by.

“It’s not like killing a person, babe. It’s not even like killing an animal. You can’t let it keep bothering you.” She said as she cut a can of food open. He turned to her.

"It doesn’t bother me. I… I’m just worried that I’m gonna get used to it.”

“Okay.” She nodded, smiling tenderly. While he went to turn the generator off, Anna helped her mom set the table and by the time he returned, they had lit a few candles and Anna was seated, touching the floor with the toes and her parents joined her, sitting in front of each other. They ate, chatting and laughing together. It was one of these light moments that made it all seem like everything was fine and there weren’t zombies outside their house. Some normal moments were good for all three of them.

‘How, um… how’s your dinner?” He enquired, after some sauce on his plate.

“It was good. If I had known that dog food could taste like this… I would have been eating that shit all along.” They laughed heartily together. It was crazy that it took all this shit happening outside for Anna to see her parents be so loving towards each other, like old times. She loved to see it; it was very heartwarming.

“Hey.” Lucille called out to him as she turned around to grab something. It was a shopping bag that she had Anna pass to her dad. “Happy anniversary.”

“Wait. You actually know what day it is?” He asked as he took it, adding a thank you for his daughter. Lucille chuckled.

“No. I just want you to have it. Open it.” He looked at her with curiosity and proceeded to open the bag with a sound of paper rustling. Anna turned to her father to look into the bag. He glanced at Lucille, who smiled cheerfully, laughing and he took his vintage jacket out of the bag, the exact same she yelled at him for after he had spent hundreds of dollars on. She never got rid of it apparently.

“Holy… shit!” He was so happy to have the jacket. “Where did you get this?”

“Okay, it was in the crawlspace this whole time. Cause I was mad. I was so mad that I couldn’t return it, so I just hid it, and I told you I returned it. So, there you go.”

“You’re awesome.” They laughed together again and he motioned for Anna to come closer and held up the jacket with an amused grin on his face. “You want to try it on?”

“I can?”

“Yeah.” He chuckled, nodding and she turned around, slipping one arm after the other in the sleeves and she then turned back to them, stretching out her arms with a big smile. The piece of clothing was way too big for her body, but she loved having it on. He joked that she looked like a little badass and then drew her into a hug and she sat in his lap, and he pressed a kid on her forehead.

“I’m sorry.” Lucille then said, catching his attention. “I’m really sorry I made a big deal out of it. If I’d known…” She took a deep breath, briefly closing her eyes. “like, all this was gonna happen, I wouldn’t have cared about a stupid credit-card bill.”

“No. No, no, no…” He shook his head. “See, I, um… I don’t deserve anything from you. And you shouldn’t be apologizing to me. Uh, it should be me apologizing to you, and you.” He glanced at his daughter, soflty holding her chin in between his thumb and index before turning to Lucille as he spoke. The smiles on both Lucille and Anna’s faded as the conversation got a little more serious and the girl just looked down at her empty plate, listening. “the pain that I put you through… You know, uh… You know, I lie awake at night just wondering how I got so lucky that you have stuck with me.”

“Come here.” Lucille stood up and walked around the table and sat on his laps, holding his face in her hand, the other on her daughter’s shoulder. “I stuck with you ‘cause I could always see the man you are right now. Even when you weren’t. And that asshole really had it comin’.” She assured, almost crying.

“Yes, ma’am.” They shared a kiss and they all fell asleep easy that night, until he woke up suddenly at the sound of water dripping from the fridge. Lucille and Anna both sat up in the bed after he jumped off, almost running to open the freezer and the moment he did, water came flowing out of it. This was really bad. He grabbed the thermometer inside and looked at it with a grave glimpse in his eyes. After a cheerful evening, the day was starting off on the wrong foot and even the 11-year-old knew that it meant nothing good. She wished she could just go back in time and spend another good dinner time with them. “Remember that guy and his family came through here a while back? The kid had leukemia, uh, and they were looking for this group of doctors that travelled around in a mobile clinic? Well, I remember. I sat down with him. He showed me his map. These doctors, they take the same route every time and they make the same stops. I think I know where they are, and if I leave right now, I can catch them before they move on.”

“They could be dead by now if they even existed to begin with.” Lucille retorted. “And then what do you do when you find them? You have nothing to barter with, so just stop.”

“I will figure it out.” He insisted, grabbing the bag he had put all his stuff for the journey in, but she cut him off, raising her voice, telling him to stop and Anna, still sat on the bed, looked at her feet.

“I have something to tell you. Anna, could you go upstairs, for a moment? I need to talk with your dad.” The young girl nodded, and hopped off the bed, and going upstairs. She stayed in her old room for about half an hour, going through her diaries and looking at toys lying there and pictures. Before leaving, her dad came to hug her and promised to come back quickly but Anna was scared he wouldn’t and she went back to her mom, who tried explaining to her that even if he did come back with the bags and things needed for her treatment, she wouldn’t make it. He just didn’t want to give up. There were a lot of crying and tears from Anna who didn’t want to lose her mom but then a few days passed, and then a couple weeks during which Anna took care of her mother the best she could but her health was declining more rapidly without her treatment. She was very weak and tired all the time so Anna would read her books and cuddle with her until one day, Lucille asked her to take some of the food in the basement and go upstairs to wait for the return of her dad, telling her she wanted to be alone as she was extremely tired. Anna didn’t know what to do so she gave a big hug to her mom, gathered her things and went upstairs, as requested. The girl was growing even more scared of ending up alone as time went by and her dad didn’t come home. After a few days, she decided to go check on her mom. She had realized she forgot to take her father’s jacket with her and went to get it. As she stood by the door, she read a message her mom had written on it but didn’t understand what she meant so she knocked timidly.

“Mom? Sorry, I- I forgot dad’s jacket. Can I come in?” She waited, almost holding her breath and put her ear against the door. There was no noise, just complete silence so she opened the door and walked in on her mother, sitting in bed, one hand cuffed to the bed frame and a plastic bag taped over her head. “Mom?” She stared at her, her eyes getting teary. She stepped towards her to take off the bag but immidietaly backtracked when her mom let out a death rattle and her head slowly rose. When she groaned at Anna, trying to get at her with her other arm, the young girl screamed and then started to sob hysterically. She stepped back, slipping on something on the floor and fell, begging her mom to stop. She didn’t want to face it. Her mother had had enough and killed herself and came back as one of these monsters she heard outside but it was so traumatic to see for her. She managed to get back on her feet, took the leather jacket and ran out, covering her ears, letting out sharp cries. She ran upstairs and went to hide in her room. It had only been a few weeks that her dad was gone and she was scared she was going to die alone in this house, but she was too fearful to go out on her own. She waited there, under her bed, curled up, clutching onto her dad’s jacket, only daring to come out when she was getting hungry, but she quickly ran out of the little food left.

Weeks later, her stomach was hurting from not eating and she woke up under her bed, almost jumping, hitting her head to the bed when she heard the door open and a voice rise in the house. She was still a bit sleepy and didn’t recognize the voice so she stayed hidden, burying her face in the jacket and crying, like she would do every day since she found her mother turned into a monster. She hoped that whoever came into their house wouldn’t search it because they would find her, and she didn’t want to be killed but when she clearly identified her dad’s voice, coming up from the basement, calling her name as he walked around the house and came to her room, she stopped her crying, sniffing slightly and came out of under the bed.

“Oh, my god…Oh, Anna… baby…” He immidietaly fell to his knees and drew her into a tight hug, holding onto her as if his life depended on it.

“Dad…” She sobbed. “Mom… she…”

“I know. I know, apple pie… it’s gonna be all right, I’m here. Shh, shh, it’s all right…” He caressed her hair, rocking her in his arms, stroking her back, trying to calm her down and comfort her but he knew that after witnessing her mother in such a state and spending weeks alone, she wasn’t going to forget it at the snap of a finger. His daughter would be left traumatized from the death of her mother. “Hey, hey, hey… look at me.” She tried getting a hold of her crying as he held her face in his hands. “We’re leaving, okay? Together. It’s you and me from now on, all right? You gotta stay close to me, and do what I tell you, okay?”

“Okay.” She said, in a shaky voice. He then had his daughter grab an old school bag, telling her to take a few things and as night fell outside, she accompanied him to the fence, where equipped with pliers, he cut a long end of the barbed wire stretched above the fence and wrapped it around a bat he had with him. Anna had no idea where he got that baseball bat, but that didn't matter. Her mother was dead and now, it was only her and her father against the world. The two of them against the monsters. He told her to stay right by the door, outside and he came out of the house coming up in flame a couple minutes later. She was silently crying, following him to his motorcycle and sat behind him, holding onto him.

They drove for a while and he pulled up next to an old bar and got off the vehicle. He turned to his daughter.

“Hide here, keep quiet and stay out of sight, you hear me? Don’t come out until I come for you.” She nervously nodded and she crouched in the shadow of the motorcycle, looking around, holding her breath, watching her father walk around the establishment. She jumped in surprise at the sound of a gunshot in the distance and closed her eyes shut, her hands covering her ears. She was shaking. When a shooting started, she pressed her hands harder, burying her face in her knees, tears rolling down her cheeks. This was a lot for one night and she couldn’t even know what was going on as it was too risky to come out and she was too scared to even move anyway, and maybe find her dad shot or something like that. It was her worst nightmare, losing her father now that she had lost her mother, and be alone forever. After a few minutes, the shooting stopped, and she dared look up. She didn’t see any movement around the establishment but stayed behind the motorcycle. Her father hadn’t come back for her, and she didn’t want him to get mad if she disobeyed and maybe put herself at risk, which is what she understood to be the reason of her having to hide. And she had no idea that she was going to have to hide even more in the future. Little did she know who she would see her father become after tonight…

Anna was walking around Alexandria, Adam in her arms while Alden still worked on renovating the place; staring into space, she was lost in her thoughts, letting her mind dwell on old memories from her childhood. She was young when it all started, and greatly traumatized by the death of her mother. Everything that happened made her who she was today but maybe some of that trauma could have been avoided but it was never up to her. Her dad fucked up. She was a child who followed him around, stood by his side but then happened what happened when Rick and his group came around and here she was today, with a son, in a relationship with Alden and pregnant with his child. With how things started out for her in this new world, she never thought she would have a family of her own, beside her father, whom she always fought for, despite hating him sometimes. It had always been only the two of them in the end and he was the only one who would never wish her harm while everyone could one day turn on her but she didn’t really believe that anymore. She trusted most of these people and knew which would help her if in need.

As she walked, she came near the gate, opened as a group amongst which Carol and Maggie, got ready to go out and do whatever, she saw her father casually walking into Alexandria and froze. She was surprised to see him back, so confident, after Carol told her she brought him outside to live away from everyone else, and especially, from Maggie who still held a grudge against him. From a distance, she watched Maggie stare at him. One day, she was definitely going to kill him, and it coud only be a matter of time.

[To be continued…]

Previous chapter / Next Chapter

Published (11/13/2022) by Andrea

Taglist: @cathrin2405 @kika64

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lunajay33 · 1 year

Text

Masterlist

Fluff>☆ Angst>꩜ Spicy>ꨄ︎ Suggestive>❀

Daryl Dixon🏹

{Pre-Apocalypse}

Best Friend> ☆

Not the Only One> ꩜

Not the Only One Part.2> ꩜☆

{Season 1}

Connection> ☆

Always You> ☆

Conflict> ☆

My Before> ☆

Found You> ☆

{Farm Era}

Hurt Part.1> ꩜ ☆

Hurt Part.2> ꩜ ☆

Hurt Part.3> ꩜ ☆

Sleepover> ☆

Never Be Alone> ☆

Missing> ꩜☆

Precious> ☆

My Man> ꨄ︎

{Prison Era}

Jealous> ꩜ ☆

Prison Attack> ꩜ ☆

Brother Trouble> ꩜ ☆

Cold Nights> ☆

Pain Reliever> ☆

Caught> ꨄ︎

Scared & Sick> ☆

Scared & Sick Pt.2>꩜☆

Both> ꨄ︎+ Rick

Both Part.2> ꨄ︎☆

Migraine> ꩜☆

Searching> ꩜☆

Puppy Love> ☆

{Terminus Era}

Tired> ꩜ ☆

Reunion> ꩜

Peach> ☆

Hurting> ꩜☆

Finding You> ꩜☆

{Alexandria Era}

Home> ☆

The Quiet One> ☆

Ready> ☆

First Time> ☆ ❀

Dreams> ☆ ❀

Touch Starved> ☆❀

{Saviours Era}

Hope Part.1> ꩜ ☆

Hope Part.2> ꩜ ☆

Hope Part.3> ꩜ ☆

Hope Part.4> ☆

The Day Will Come> ꩜

{Series}

New world-> Part.1•Part.2•Part.3•Part.4•Part.5ꨄ︎•Part.6•Part.7•Part.8•Part.9•Part.10•Part.11•

Part.12•Part.13•Part.14

Enjoy the Silence-> Part.1•Part.2•Part.3•Part.4 Completed

Change-> Part.1•Part.2•Part.3•Part.4•Part.5•

Part.6•Part.7 continue part on Masterlist 2.0

Carl Grimes

{Alexandria Era}

Blooming> ☆

Caught>☆❀

Not Enough?>꩜☆

Other Half> ꩜

Ride the Cowboy> ꨄ︎☆

Insecure> ꩜☆❀

Been Waiting> ☆

{Series}

Just Us-> Part.1•Part.2•Part.3•Part.4•Part.5

Rick Grimes

{Farm Era}

Glances> ꨄ︎

{Prison Era}

Both> ꨄ︎ +Daryl

Both Part.2>ꨄ︎☆

Worry> ꩜☆

Negan Smith

{Saviours Era}

The One> ☆❀

{Cowboy Negan}

Save a Horse> ꨄ︎

Taste for Older Men> ꩜☆

Taste for Older Men Part.2> ☆

{Coach Negan}

Forbidden> ꨄ︎

{Series}

Lost-> Part.1•Part.2•Part.3•Part.4

Supernatural🦇

{All 3 Winchesters}

Guardian> ꩜☆

Mothers Daughter> ꩜☆

Terror> ꩜

{Castiel}

I’ll Be There> ☆

Mastelist 2.0🤍

1K notes · View notes

lanadelnegan · 1 year

Text

Wildest Dreams

Jeffrey Dean Morgan x Reader

Song inspo: Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift

Summary: Y/n's celebrity crush, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, makes her dreams come true when she meets him at a bar after the walking dead comic con.

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, *Jeffrey is single*, plot, smut, sexual tension, cursing, sex, oral, daddy-kink

This is my first attempt at fanfiction ever, ahhh! Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!

This can't be happening right now. I can't believe he's actually right there. I'm about to touch him.

"Well hello there." Jeffrey's smile widens as I approach his open arms. "What's your name, darlin'?"

"Y/n...Hi" I smile and let him wrap his arms around me.

"That is a beautiful name, y/n. You ready?"

"Yeah, but can we pose a different way though.. maybe looking at each other?" I ask, hoping he can't hear the nervousness in my voice.

"Absolutely, doll." He turns his body facing mine and gently places his fingers around my jawline, looking directly into my eyes and lifting my chin to meet his gaze. "Relax." His tone is soft but demanding.

The photographer counts to 3 but it feels like 10 because Jeffrey's hazel brown eyes are burning flames into mine. I swear this man is staring into my soul as if he can read every thought I've ever had about him. Including that one, because the left side of his mouth suddenly raises and he lets out a "negan-like" chuckle that only the two of us can hear.

I'm the first one to break away from our embrace and I can feel my cheeks redden as I take another glance at him. I make a mental note to never forget what he looks like in person and let my stare linger a little too long on his chest hair peeking out from his white t-shirt. His smirk grows wider and he leans down, putting his mouth next to my ear. "You... are adorable."

When he leans away, the smell of tobacco, leather, and sweet mint fills my lungs.

Even now as I sit in my car, his scent is burned into my nose and the front of my shirt.. I'll never wash it again. My eyes close and my head falls back against my driver's seat.

The rest of my evening is spent binge watching The Walking Dead -season 7 of course - and ordering too much room service. I should go out. I drove 3 hours to Austin, TX.. by myself, which is a big deal for me. I should at least explore the city while I'm here.

I shower and throw on some jean shorts and a cute top, pretending I'm not bothered by the fact that I just washed any trace of my parasocial boyfriend off of me. At least I have this. I hold the picture we took and study it for the 48th time today.

After google searching "nightlife in Austin", Sixth Street seems to be where it's at, so I head that way and although it's only 7 minutes away from my hotel, it takes me 30 to find parking. I have no clue where exactly I'm going or what I'm doing, but hell - I met Jeffrey Dean Morgan earlier. If I could do that, I could do anything. I apply some lip gloss and tell my anxiety to go fuck itself before climbing out of the car.

Bright neon signs from every building light up the street and I smile to myself at the couples holding hands walking past me. I browse around at my options for drinks - not food - because I destroyed $70 worth of room service earlier - and make out the faint sound of Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift coming from one of the pubs up ahead as if it's calling my name. "Shakespeare's." the old sign reads, and I know that's the one. I make my way into the mildly crowded pub, find a seat at the end of the bar, and don't waste any time ordering a drink.

I bring up the picture of Jeffrey and me on my phone and study it.. for the 49th time today. I'm lost in my thoughts when a deep voice fills my ear. "Shit. That is one handsome dude." He takes a seat next to me and orders himself a drink while I stare at him wide-eyed and unable to speak. Oh.. my god.

Jeffrey orders his drink and turns his body towards me slightly with that signature grin on his stupidly handsome face. He breaks the silence since my lips seem to be paralyzed at the moment.

"Tell me what you're thinking, y/n." ... he remembered my name.

"I'm thinking that there is no way this is real life right now." I grin and look around, trying to mentally focus on suppressing the redness in my cheeks.

He laughs as the bartender places his drink down. "Want me to pinch you?"

"You can do whatever you want to me." I say under my breath as I sip my drink, surprised by my liquid courage. If he heard me, he ignores it and I internally cringe at myself.

"Cheers, darlin'." We tap our drinks and I throw my head back to finish mine completely. I sense his gaze on me and turn to face him completely. "So.. What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" He fires back.

"Apparently having a drink with my celebrity crush." I laugh and cringe again. I need to stop.

"Crush? Me?" sarcasm drips from his smirk as he sips on his whiskey. "Would have never guessed.. not with the way you were blushing like hell during our picture."

My mouth drops open. "I was not!"

"No? Lemme see then." He nods towards my phone in my lap.

I pause hesitantly before handing him my phone and unlocking it for him. Bad idea. Instead of looking at our picture, he clicks on the camera button and turns it to selfie mode. He raises my phone in front of us and leans into me. I'm caught off guard but quickly lean into him, our faces touching and I smile as cool, calm, and collected as I can be in this moment.

He snaps a couple pictures of us and looks at them. "We are fucking cute as shit." He shows me and I laugh.

He pulls some glasses out of his jacket pocket and slides them on his face while holding my phone. I watch him in awe as he takes it upon himself to browse through my phone. My heart drops when he goes to the home screen and sees himself as my wallpaper with cute little hearts and cherries surrounding him. Fuck.

I wait for his reaction but it doesn't faze him. And if it does, he says nothing. He stares at the screen a little longer then finally glances at me with a smirk before turning his attention back to my phone. His thumb presses the tiktok icon and I watch curiously. He's not seriously about to suggest we make a tiktok together. Ick.

Worse. Instead, he clicks on my favorites and multiple squares of his face pop up - edits of him. I almost reach for my phone, but part of me likes that he sees it. What is wrong with me.

He looks at me and raises his brow. For the first time all night, I don't blush when he looks at me and it seems to amuse him because he chuckles and looks back at my phone. He clicks on one of the edits and watches himself on top of another woman kissing her passionately. I watch it with him unashamedly. Before it ends, he suddenly clicks my screen off and hands me my phone back.

"Why did you save that?" he asks with a serious tone.

"Uh, I jus - I liked it." I shrug.

"You like watching me make love to women?"

I laugh to myself. "Uhhh. Yeah, I guess so."

He pauses and stares at me, this time with a serious expression. "Do you wish it was you?"

My eyes widen and I open my mouth to answer but no words come out.

He stands and puts his jacket on. Oh great, I scared him. Good job y/n.

"Let's go." He throws a $100 on the bar and motions for me to stand up too.

I'm obviously not going to question this man. If he tells me to bark, I'll bark. I almost faint when I feel his big palm firmly placed right above my backside as we're leaving.

We exit the bar with our heads down as we quickly walk to his car. He opens the passenger side and I get in, waiting for him to appear on the other side. Leather, mint, and tobacco fill my lungs and I'm gone once again.

I'm so lost in my head that I don't even notice that he's already in the driver's seat. "Whatcha thinkin' about?"

"Don't ask me that. I don't even know anymore." My answer amuses him and he drives a few blocks away to one of the "rich" hotels. The entire ride over is awkward silence with the exception of Jeffrey blowing puffs of cigarette smoke towards the crack in his window every few moments.

"Y/n." He puts the car in park and turns towards me while flicking his cigarette out the window and rolling it up. "At any point tonight if you want to leave or.. you.. want me to stop, I need you to tell me, okay?"

I look at him and his face is the most serious I've seen it all day.

"Okay." I whisper.

"Come here." Is all he says before I'm leaned towards him over the middle console and so close to his face that our noses are touching. I wait for him to make the move but he doesn't. He looks down at my lips and sighs. "Fuck. I'm not going to kiss you."

I back away a little, feeling embarrassed before he continues explaining. He brings me back closer to him and his hand caresses my cheek. "I need you to understand that tonight is a one time thing, y/n. You.. you can't catch anymore feelings for me than you already have, okay? I'm going to make you feel good, but I'm not going to break your heart in the process."

The smell of his minty cigarette breath tempts me and I have to mentally restrain myself from not crashing into this man's lips. But I just nod instead.

"Good girl." Is all he says before he gets out of the car and comes around to open my door.

The way up to his room is quick and discreet. It's 11pm so we only pass two people on the way up and they didn't seem to recognize him. Even his hotel room is already filled with his signature scent, minus the tobacco.

"Would you like to stay the night with me, y/n?"

"Um, obviously. Are you kidding? ..Yes, I'd love to." I laugh and look around his room.

The lights are off, but the room is bright enough with the city lights shining through the windows. I fall into the bed dramatically on the side closest to the window.

"I'm gonna take a quick shower. Make yourself comfortable, okay?" he grins before closing the bathroom door. I stare back at the closed door and imagine what he looks like getting undressed behind it.

I glance around the large room and notice his phone sitting on the nightstand next to "his side" of the bed. He went through mine.. so it's only fair if I -

I reach over and grab his phone. 042266. I type in his birthdate and the phone locks. I laugh to myself. Too easy, old man.

There's a recent text message from.. my number? I click it and the picture he took of us at the bar pops up. And another one - our picture we took at comic con. He sent them to himself.

I don't want to intrude on his personal business too much, so instead I open his camera and take some goofy selfies. The bathroom door opens while I'm mid tongue out. He stops and stares at me as I slowly set his phone down on the bed. I shrug at him and he shakes his head a little and laughs. He appears in nothing but a white towel wrapped around his waist. I turn my gaze away before I get carried away and my eyes get permanently glued to his torso.

"It's okay, y/n. You can look at me. In fact, I want you to."

I look back at him and don't even bother hiding how hard I'm checking him out now. I observe every hair on his chest and my eyes travel south until I'm imagining what he looks like under the towel. A lucky water drop runs down his flat stomach and disappears and I'm hoping the drool I just felt run down my chin was just my imagination. He walks slowly over to my side of the bed and stands next to me.

"You ready to find out what my cock looks like, y/n?"

If I was drinking water right now, I would have just spit it out all over him. I nod and he drops the towel. His cock springs free and I stare at it in awe. He's about 7-8 inches of thick perfection and I've never seen something so hot in my life. He looks down at himself, a proud smirk playing at the corner of his mouth.

"Tell me one of your fantasies, y/n. We're not doing anything tonight that you haven't already thought about."

"I - well, one of them is.. putting it in my mouth." I look up at him innocently.

"What are you waiting for, then?"

I get up and push him gently for him to sit on the bed, then get on my knees in between his legs. If I weren't still buzzing from the drinks earlier, there is no way I'd have the confidence to do this.

He leans back slightly with his hands on either side of him on the bed and looks down at me through lust filled hazel eyes.

"It's all yours baby." He smiles and tucks his bottom lip under his teeth.

I slowly take him into my mouth, savoring the taste of him - like man and fresh leather soap. I groan around him as I take him further and the growl that escapes his throat encourages me to take him as far in the back of my throat as I can.

"Fuuuck baby." His deep voice strains and I watch as his head fall back with pleasure. I continue steadily sucking him and stroking where my throat won't reach. His moans grow louder with each time he hits the back of my throat.

He suddenly thrusts his hips up slightly, causing me to gag and jolt back a little.

"Goddamn it, y/n. You are not making me cum yet." He hanks my hair back and his cock pops out of my mouth and stands strong against his stomach. It's big and wet and throbbing, and my legs clench together and the sight of him.

I stand up and take my shirt off, then my bra. Then slowly slide my shorts and panties down while facing away from him. A satisfied moan escapes his lips and he wastes no time grabbing me and throwing me on the bed. He positions me until my head is on the bed and my ass in the air before I feel his cock press against my soaked pussy from behind. He rubs himself against my wet slit until I'm whimpering and begging him to put it in me.

"Beg for me, baby." He slaps my ass and the sensation causes me to jump a little.

"Please, Jeffrey. I need you. Please."

"Baby, now I know that's not what you call me in your fantasies, is it?" Another slap to my bare ass makes me yelp.

"Daddy.. please!"

His dark chuckle fills the room and every one of my senses is on fire. His scent, his voice, his dick all surround me until I'm crying and pleading for this man to ruin me. "Please daddy, I need you. Please."

"Sorry, princess. I'm taking my time with you." He flips me over suddenly until I'm laying flat on my back. His knees push mine apart, signaling me to spread open for him until he positions himself above me. He leans over me until our faces are inches apart.

My hands roam over his lean body and scratch his back lightly as his lips travel down my neck. His hard cock slides back and forth between my slit and it feels too good every time it brushes my sensitive clit.

"Goddamn, you are soaking my fucking cock and I haven't even put it inside you yet, baby." he groans and bites my nipple gently before taking it into his mouth and sucking so hard it hurts.

He finally leans up, sitting on his knees, and positions his cock right at my entrance.

"Was I or gentle or rough in your fantasies?" He rubs the head against my clit before sliding it back down. My pussy is weeping for him at this point.

"Rough.. please." I choke out.

"Please.. what?" He growls.

"Please daddy!"

He chuckles. "You want it rough baby?" I nod and a tear runs down my cheek at how bad I need him.

"Be careful what you ask for." In one motion, he enters me fully, causing me to scream out at the sudden sensation. My body feels like it was just completely ripped in half, and I wouldn't want it any other way so I cry out for him to do it again. He smirks before pulling out all the way and ramming himself back in.

He starts thrusting at a steady pace and I concentrate on the way his balls feel slapping against me.

Even more tears fall from my face from the extreme emotions he's making me feel. Horny, desperate, obsessed, in.. love.

Fuck.

"Baby. Why are you crying?" He slows his pace and leans over me, assessing my eyes.

"I - I don't know. I - I just.."

"You want me to stop?" his voice is filled with lust and concern.

"No! .. No, don't stop. I just.."

I love you.

"I want it slower." I lie.

"Y/n.. I know you better than that already." He says gently as he thrusts into me deep and agonizingly slow. His lips brush over my ear. "Tell me, baby." He kisses my neck before grabbing my jaw firmly and looking for answers in my eyes. "Tell me, y/n, or I'm stopping."

I close my eyes and blurt out before I can stop myself. "I - I think I love you."

Jeffrey's expression falls serious and he looks back and forth between my eyes while slowly releasing my jaw. His head drops and his eyes close as if he just got slapped, but he continues fucking me.

"Goddamn it, y/n... I told you.. I told you not to catch feelings."

I just stare at him and cry. "I'm sorry."

He closes his eyes again tightly as if contemplating what he should do next. Before I can say anything else, his lips crash against mine. I kiss him back passionately and his tongue slips into my mouth. He picks up the pace with our kiss and his hips and I moan into his mouth.

"Fuck, baby. What am I gonna do with you?" his breathing grows faster and heavier with mine.

"Jeffrey.. fuck, I'm - I'm."

"Cum for me, baby." He growls and quickens his thrusts again.

I scream out for him and he moans into my neck.

"Jeffrey.. you know what else I fantasize about?" I ask him while trying to catch my breath.

"What's that, baby?" His balls slap against me over and over and over.

"What you taste like when you cum."

He lifts his head to look at me and paints a devilish grin across his face. "Yeah? You want me to cum in that pretty mouth, baby?"

I nod without question. I've dreamt about what this man tastes like for so long. If this is our one and only night together, I need to know.

"Fuck." He pulls out of me and leans back on his knees, bringing my head with him as his fingers tightly grip my hair.

"You ready, baby? Open up." His voice is deep and hoarse as he moans out and I swear I've never heard a man sound as sexy as he does right now.

His warm, salty cum fills my throat and I greedily swallow every drop of him, licking his tip until he's completely drained.

"Holyyy shit. Look at my dirty girl." He grins down at me and strokes my hair like he's proud.

He drops down in the bed and holds his arm out for me to lay next to him. I lay my head on his chest and listen to his rapid heart beat. A few minutes pass and I'm hoping he forgot about my little comment earlier. Well - big comment. I can't believe I told him I love him. I mean, I do love him and I think I have for awhile now, but why did I have to be a psycho and tell him that.

He finally breaks the silence. "Y/n.. We have to talk about it."

I sigh. Here it goes. "I know.. listen.. I didn't mean it. Obviously, I barely know you. I was caught up in the moment and I was just.. emotional. I promise I'm - I'm not crazy. I know this is a one time thing and I'm okay with that."

"Hmph." I feel his chest rise a little and he sighs. I lift my head up to look at him and he smiles wide at me before kissing my lips.

"That's too bad y/n.. Cause I was thinking we could do this again tomorrow."

The End.

If you read this, thank you so much. This is my first time writing fanfiction, so pls be nice. If you hate it, I'll cry. :') Xo,kb.

651 notes · View notes

nicole-timey-wimey-stuff · 3 months

Note

could i request some redemption negan x reader angst? where r gets hurt and is carried by him to safety.

Here we go anon I hope this is ok, sorry it took so long to do!!

I’ll Never Let This Go

Negan Smith x Fem Grimes reader

Synopsis- Season 10-11 Negan, during his redemption arc. There’s always been something about you, even when he first met you at Alexandria to collect ‘payment’ he knew he couldn’t ever do something to hurt you. Developing an all too obvious soft spot for you, the thought of you is always plaguing his mind. After his empire falls and his life resides to the four walls of his cell, his soft spot morphs into a friendship that all too quickly on his side turns into deep feelings. Feelings that are in his mind definitely unrequited, how could you ever love a monster? But when you’re hurt everything bubbles up to the surface.

Warnings- Angst, injuries, talk of death, Negan is a warning himself, feelings, confessions, arguments, hurt, comfort, bad language, walkers. Reader has endometriosis and painful periods, comfort. Large age gap reader is 23 at the start of this and 30/ 31 by the end. Negan obviously in early - mid fifties by end of jail era. Maggie and Negan drama, happy ending, Barely proofread sorry! (Not quite story line correct but close ish)

Word count - 6.7k (sorry it’s LONG!)

Based very loosely on the Paramore song.

Maybe if my heart stops beating

It won't hurt this much

And never will I have to answer

Again to anyone

Please don't get me wrong

Because I'll never let this go.

_______________________________________

The first time Negan came to Alexandria he spotted you, a new face he didn’t see at the line up. And you…. Well you were completely unbothered by him. Walking over to you he wore his signature grin “Can I help you?” You asked incredibly sarcastically, “Yeah I was wondering why I haven’t see your pretty face before? You weren’t there that night were you?” He probes, “Nope I was here watching the children, I’m sorry is there something you need or can I go back to what I was doing?” You ask clearly giving zero fucks to who you were talking too.

Everyone stopped and waited for him to lose his cool with you, but in all honesty he was impressed. No one had ever been so unfazed by him before and it was kind of refreshing. “No no you carry on sweetheart, I’ll see you next time” he replies smug smile still on his face as you walk off.

That day started something between you both, a sort of bantering, love to hate relationship. Every time he’d come to Alexandria he’d make sure to come and pester you, “There’s my favourite girl! I didn’t see you in your usual spot sweetheart, you hiding?” He teased, rolling your eyes you turn to him “No I have a job to do here, strange as this may sound to you Negan but, the world doesn’t evolve around you” you sass before walking off, following behind you he carries on “Ouch you wound me baby, I thought at least your life evolved around little old me?” You sigh “No unfortunately not, but hey don’t you have a groupie of wives to big your ego for you?” You snap now getting fed up.

“Yeah but it’s always so much sweeter coming from you darlin’” he grins. “Yay for me” you sass. He cages you against the wall then, your breath hitching as he does. He stares down at you, you hold his stare “I’d watch yourself sweetheart” he growls, “If you were going to kill me Negan, you’d have done it by now, but go on prove me wrong” you offer, pushing yourself closer to him. He steps back “I’ll see you next time” he grumbles before stalking off.

You didn’t let his warning deter you though, when he came back with Carl you were already in the house, watching over Judith. “Carl where the hell have you been!!! I couldn’t find you anywhere…. Oh” your rant trails off when you spot Negan behind him, Negan told you everything that happened, and you glared at your nephew. “I’m sorry Aunt Y/N” he says hanging his head, “Auntie?” Negan asks, “Your Ricks baby sister huh? Now I don’t know why you never thought to tell me that?” He declares, “Well to be fair you never asked!” You reply, he nods at you carefully, “Touché, but no more secrets ok?”, “Fine” you huff.

_______________________________________

After the fall of his empire you were one of the ones helping patch him up. Being a first responder from before the world went to shit had its uses these days. You were kinder towards him that he others, gentler in your administrations. When he couldn’t speak, you’d sit by his bed and read the hobbit to him, you helped him eat and drink, snuck him painkillers. Before he could even notice, he'd developed feelings for you, he had always been drawn to you, but now, now he couldn’t go a day without seeing you or his chest hurt.

Once he was in his cell you were the one who brought him his meals, something Michone tasked you with as you were the only one not afraid of him, in these visits you’d also smuggle him in books and things to draw/write with. This is where you began your daily chats, and started building a real friendship.

He’d now been in his little jail a year, Rick was set on building his little bridge, and you would come down here to talk with Negan when your brother was driving you insane. Walking into the building Negan could hear your footsteps, something over the last year he’d learnt to pick up on. He knew when it was you now, so each time he heard the familiar sound he’d jump up to meet you, “Hey there sweetheart, it’s not meal time so what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?” He asks.

“I’m escaping bridge talk before I murder my own kin” you grumble before sitting next to the left hand side bars, propped up against the wall, Negan joins you, sitting in the same spot on the other side of the bars. “Ah I see” he sighs watching your movements carefully, you seem agitated and the way your face scrunches up, you seem like you’re in pain too.

“You alright there sweetheart? You aren’t looking too hot” he asks, he’s worried about you now. “Yeah I’m fine” you grit out, “You really don’t seem it, come on what’s up?” He prods, hoping you’ll open up to him. “It’s a woman thing, don’t worry about it” you grumble. “Ah I see, are your monthly’s always this painful?” He asks. “Yeah, I have a condition that makes them this bad, it’s not life threatening or anything, just painful. It can stop you having children, but in this shit show of a world I doubt that’s a bad thing” you explain.

He frowns at your explanation, he doesn’t like the thought of you in pain, especially not every month. “They always been this bad?” He asks and you can tell he’s genuinely concerned, “No they’ve gotten worse over the years” you admit. “Anything I can do to help?” He offers, and you have to laugh at that, “I don’t think there’s much you can do from in there Negan, besides painkillers are rare these days, and like I said it’s not life threatening so I have to just get on with it.”

“You shouldn’t have to get on with being in pain darlin’, you really have nothing that helps?” He presses, “Heat helps but my hot water bottle burst so….” You trail off. “Heat?” He asks, “Yeah?” You reply confused, “Do you trust me?” He asks, “In theory yeah, but I’m not letting you out” you respond. “No I know that, but you trust that I wouldn’t hurt you yeah?” He asks almost timidly, you swallow a lump in your throat, you’ve always known he wouldn’t hurt you personally, it’s why he never hurt Carl.

“Yeah Negan I’ve always known that” you admit, “Ok turn around and place your back against the bars” he instructs, you were confused as to why he asking you to do it, but you shuffle round and do as he says anyways. His hand carefully snakes around your waist before slipping under your shirt, then resting on your lower stomach. His hand was oddly warm and you felt instant relief from your painful cramps, your head fell back into the bars of his cell, finely allowing yourself to relax. “Better?” He asks, “Yeah, thank you” you sigh, this was the most physical contact he’d had in over a year, and it was you! He allowed himself to bask in the feeling of holding you close, of feeling the warmth of your skin against his.

This soon became a usual thing, he’d tell just from your facial expressions when you visited, and your grumpy mood, he would just reach through the bars and place a warm hand on your lower stomach, you’d then carry on whatever conversation you were having, sometimes he’d just listen to you rant.

_______________________________________

A lot happened in the years following, you lost your brother, and now you were dealing with the whisperers, creepy fucking shits who are once again threatening your family. After a long day of trying to fix up the walls for a possible incoming attack, and talking battle plans with the council you were seriously tense and fed up. Knowing there was only one person who could make you feel better, you waited for everyone to filter back into their homes, and found your way down to Negan’s cell.

The jingle of the door startled him awake, jumping into a seated position he visibly relaxed when he saw it was you. “Hey Doll, it’s bit late for a visit isn’t it?” He offers, “Sorry am I disturbing you? I am aren’t I, I’ll come back tomorrow” you ramble off about to leave again, “Hey no no, please don’t go, you’re never disturbing me sweetheart, what’s going on?” He asks walking over to greet you.

“Been in council meeting all evening, they are deciding how to deal with the whisperers, and I think personally they are being stupid, they’re going to get us all killed” you sigh, resting your head against the bars in defeat. His hand strokes over yours before placing a quick chaste peck to your head, “Hey, it’s going to be ok. I won’t Let anything happen to you and Judith” he says with complete certainty in his voice.

“Uh huh, from in here yeah?” You tease, “Trust me I’d find a way” you look up at him with a small smile, “They did listen to my request though, you will be getting out daily, for work I’m afraid but it has to be better than this?” You explain, “Shit, yeah I’ll take it sweetheart, thanks” he says sincerely, “Your also allowed supervised showers too after, which is better than what you get in here also” you continue, “I sure hope it will be you supervising me shower?” He grins, “Negan! Seriously!” You exclaim, “Sorry, sorry” he offers holding his hands up in surrender, “From what I presume, someone will just be waiting outside the bathroom door for you.” You say, “I can live with that” he agrees, “Just don’t screw this up for yourself Negan, I want to see you get some more freedom, gain some trust.” You plead, “I’ll do my best doll, I promise” he agrees.

_______________________________________

A storm was coming in, the temperature dropping rapidly, you were helping secure the animals in the barn before you all took shelter. “Gabe, has someone collected Negan yet?” You ask, “No not yet, me and you can after we settle the horses yeah?” He offers, “Yeah ok” you reply, worrying about him in that freezing cell, “You care about him don’t you?” Gabriel asks, “Yeah unfortunately he’s managed to snare my friendship somehow” you reply, you know that’s not what he meant but you were not going there. Gabriel nods, “Ok let’s go get him while we can” your relieved at his words, more than ready now to get him to safety.

Sat in the barn everyone is watching the storm brew outside the window, “Jude come away from the window hunni, it’s freezing out there” you say, “Ok auntie y/n, but dog is out there, I hope he’s ok” she mentions sadly, “I’m sure he is sweetie come on” you offer pulling her in for a hug, then moving her over to the other side of the room for a drink and snack.

Gabriel watches Negan watch your every move, from his chained up position on the cot, with that obvious look of love and devotion on his face. “You know it’s never going to happen right?” Gabriel says walking over to Negan, “I don’t know what you mean?” Negan asks confused, “I mean you and her, I can clearly see you’re in love with her, and she may have befriended you now but she will never love you the way you want her too, she was Glens friend, she’s Rick’s sister, it’s never going to happen” Gabriel goads, smug look on his face when he can tell he’s hit a nerve.

He quickly rid his frown before giving Gabriel his signature smirk “Well if we are going there Gabe, your girl’s doc is also your girl’s baby daddy, which kind of begs the question, do you ever wonder what the hell was going on in there when she has her “appointments”?” Negan mocks, doing little quotation sign with his hands. “You could try to be a little less predictable” Gabriel grumbles, Negan smirks before saying “Aww Gabe that hurts, truly”.

You catch the end of what they were saying and started to walk back “Everything ok here?” You ask, looking between the two men, “Yeah sweetheart everything’s fine” Negan grins at you, “You know Negan, we’re all grown ups here, and none of us would ever let this ruin the longstanding friendships and mutual respect we have for each other” Gabriel declares, “Ok everything doesn’t seem ok” you say, still watching both men. “You know what? You’re right, that is a very mature attitude, Father…… not the father” Negan grins, teasing glint in his eye.

“Ok ok that’s enough, Negan please shut up or it will be a very long night!” You sigh, “He started it Princess!” Negan whines, you give him a pointed look, “I’m being serious he did, ok ok I’ll shut up” he huffs, “Thanks” you mumble plopping down next to him on the bed. Gabriel was right though you’d never love him the way he loved you, maybe if his heart stopped beating it wouldn’t hurt this much, he thinks, until then he’d just have to keep pretending that you weren’t everything to him.

After a funny smell turned out to be dangerous, everyone was shuffled out into the storm to find Aaron’s house, but after hearing dog bark Judith ran off in search of him. “Judith!!!!” You and Negan both screamed at the same time, “Shit!” You shouted before chasing after her, “Y/n!! Fuck, wait up!” Negan bellowed as he follows you, grabbing your wrist “We will find her together, stay close!” You nod at him before you go in search of your niece.

The whole thing was an ordeal, Negan fell and severely hurt his leg, you found Judith and dog though. You’d somehow managed to carry her back to Aaron’s while supporting Negan with your other arm. And finally you felt the rush of warmth as you entered the house, “Oh my goodness’ Aaron gasped running to help you and Judith into the house, leaving an ignored, limping Negan at the door, not that he minded Judith and you were his first priority too.

Once Judith was given the once over and declared ok, Siddiq worked on Negan’s leg the best he could until you could get to the infirmary. “Thanks for helping me get my niece safely back” you smile at Negan, “I told you before doll, I won’t let anything happen to you and Judith” he says, you sit down next to him once more, “We got lucky, everyone will be ok” you sigh, knowing how badly that could of went. He wraps his arm around your shoulders, giving you an affectionate squeeze.

_______________________________________

After that day things have gotten better, Michone thanked you and Negan for saving Judith’s life, and she happily gave him some more freedom. He worked outside, he was allowed to join for group meals, and he had better bathroom breaks, where he could shower, trim his beard/ hair etc. Although the threat that the whisperers posed was getting greater and greater.

Negan could tell you were panicking, it was written all over your face, you were constantly looking out to where Jude and RJ were, their safety always on your mind. You were uncharacteristically quiet, always lost in your head, and he didn’t like it at all. So when Carol let him out of his cell that night, on the mission of killing the alpha he didn’t think twice. He wrote you a note, leaving it in his cell for you to find, and he hoped you’d understand, if not understand then maybe one day forgive him. But he had to keep his promise to you, and that was to always keep you and Judith safe, so that was what he was doing.

The next morning you brought Negan’s breakfast to his cell for him, only to be met with an empty room, only a small note left on the side of his bed with your name on it. Opening it up you read the worlds carefully,

Dear y/n

I know you must be upset with me leaving like this without telling you, but I promise it’s for the best. I will kill alpha, end the whisperers and in doing so keep my promise of always protecting you and little Judith.

I have to say this though incase I never make it back, here goes nothing.

I love you, like completely and utterly in love with you, and I know you could never feel the same way about me, I’m a monster I know that. But I had to tell you, so without any expectations I love you, and I will continue to love you until my last breath.

Negan xx

You gasp, tears stinging your eyes, when you heard someone clear their throat behind you. “Rosita what happened? Who let him out!” You demand, tucking the note away in your back pocket it was for your eyes only, “I don’t know y/n I’ve only just heard myself” she admits, “Fuck he’s gone after the whisperers, he’s going to get himself killed.” You say, “Well it’s not our problem anymore, he’s made his decision, come on y/n Jude’s asking for you” she replies pulling you gently along.

Days you sat there watching the gate, praying he’d make some dramatic entrance, only to be filled with bitter disappointment every day. Everyone tiptoed around you not wanting to upset you further, when asked you told them “He’s my best friend” because in all honesty he was, and you were confused on how else you felt right now, you knew feelings ran deeper than that. But admitting you loved him was a big deal to you, so for now you just filled yourself with your own lies, everyone else bought it so why couldn’t you.

It was weeks before you saw him again, alpha attacked hilltop and everything fell into chaos. During the fight you bumped into Negan whilst out determining how many whisperers there were surrounding you, he was stood with alpha making plans on attack, wearing one of the masks. Your heart plummeted, had he joined them? Was he going to let her hurt you all? Did he even mean the words he wrote to you? When his eyes met yours you could see the pure panic in them, he instantly tried to direct Alphas attention elsewhere so you could escape unnoticed, so you did just that, snuck away into the night.

_______________________________________

Once you were back home in Alexandria Negan came back with Daryl with the claim alpha was dead, that he was the one who killed her. Daryl confirmed it was true and the rest of the council decided that they trusted him enough that he could stay with you in your home that night, until they reconvene in the morning to discuss Negan’s future at Alexandria.

You’d only nodded, allowing Negan to follow you back to your home, it hadn’t gone unnoticed to him that you were yet to utter a word. Hell you’d barely looked at him since he’d walked through the gates, every thought ran through his head, maybe you read his letter and felt repulsed, maybe you thought he’d joined alpha? He waited until you’d closed your front door before speaking “Sweetheart can you please just look at me?” He asks, his voice shaking. You look up at him with an expression that looked way to much like fear for his liking, “Doll what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, because you’re worrying me a little here” he offers.

“You were with her, plotting. We had kids in hilltop Negan, I was in there” you whisper, “No sweetheart I promise you I was trying to convince her otherwise! Please you gotta believe me, I’d never want kids hurt, and I most certainly don’t want anything happening to you! You’re everything to me!” He exclaimed. You nod with a sigh, “Are you going to tell me what happened then?” You ask, “Yeah ok” he agrees.

So he spent the next hour explaining everything that happened, how he got them to trust him, all the trials they made him do. How he showed alpha that it was gamma betraying her, that eventually he was trusted enough that he could put his plan into action and kill her. He told you that it was Carol who let him out to get revenge for her son, but that she went back on her end of the deal because he wasn’t fast enough. After everything he’d gone through, that made you sad for him, he should have gotten the recognition he deserved.

“So is that everything?” You ask, “No that’s not everything” he mumbles looking nervous and upset, this caused an unsettling feeling in your stomach, “What else happened? Are they planning an attack here?” You worry, “I don’t know in all honesty, if they do we will all face it together, but that’s not what I needed to tell you” he sighs. You motion for him to continue, “After I told her about gammas betrayal she wanted to thank me, said I deserved something to reward me for it. She told me to strip initially and I honestly thought she was going to kill me, but when I turned around she was naked too, she told me sleeping with her was my reward. But I said no, I promise you I didn’t sleep with her, I said it didn’t work anymore and that I’d appreciate her letting me off the humiliation of not being able to ‘perform’, but thank you for the gesture. Thankfully she didn’t press just said she was sorry to hear that.” He explained looking down at his lap like he’d cheated on you or something, “Negan you’re my best friend, not my boyfriend, you don’t owe me any explanation. You did what you had to survive, and I’m happy you’re back in one piece” you offer, not mentioning you knew about the letter.

“Yeah of course, ok well it’s late we should get some rest” he says, trying to hide how hurt he was over your comment. In all honesty the thought of him being intimate with that creep of a woman, made you feel sick, but you didn’t want to deal with these emotions today, you were exhausted and really just wanted to sleep this last awful week off. “Yeah you can use the spare room, its been empty for some time now” you offer, you didn’t have the heart to tell him it used to belong to Glen and Maggie, he was already down trodden and it would only make him feel worse. You showed him to the room, and gave him a clean towel and toothbrush, “Thanks sweetheart, good night”, “Night Negan” you reply before retreating to your own room.

Negan laid there that night thinking over everything in his head, had he miss judged your affection for him as something other than the friendship you’d spent years building. He thought maybe you had deeper feelings for him too, but feelings or no feelings he’d always be there for you, always by your side, because he’d never be able to let this thing between you go.

_______________________________________

Things didn’t stay calm for long, as the fight ended with the whisperers another started with the Reapers. The only good thing to come from it so far, was being reunited with Maggie. You’d been so happy to see her and Hershel alive and well, but this mission she had you all on into the city was a suicide mission. Not to mention the draining reality that she wasn’t even a little over her hate for Negan, which you understood, of course you did.

But it was making the environment toxic for everyone, they both bickered and argued constantly. Negan had argued that Maggie would do anything to see him dead, and that was her main goal of the mission. “I’m real close to shoving a gag in your mouth” Alden retorted, fed up with Negan arguing about the point of the trip, “Well, why don’t you get up on your little tippy toes and try?” Negan sasses back, cocky grin still plastered on his face.

“Ok ok, enough now! Alden shut up, Negan come with me before you push the lot of them into killing ya.” You sigh. Walking away you put your hand in his shoulder to offer some reassurance, “I won’t let you die Negan” you say, trying to call him a little. “I know sweetheart, but I’ve tried to make some amends with your community and it seems you are the only one who’s noticed” he sighs, “ I know, it takes time. Someday they will see you how I see you” you promised. He gives you a small smile, truth is he’s been thinking recently that maybe he’d be better slinking off into the night, leaving Alexandria and starting a new.

The only thing that holds him back is the thought of never seeing you again, he would struggle to move on away from you. Living with you in domestic bliss has been the best life has been in nearly a decade. Even if the arrangement is pretty platonic, too much so for his liking. Though cooking with you everyday, cleaning your home together and sharing movies cuddled on the couch each evening, that is the most joy he’s ever known. But being the most hated man in the community takes its toll, and began is starting to really feel the strain of it now.

Not only that, he hates how it reflects on you too. You always say you don’t care what people think of you, but he can see it on your face. You do care, you just care about him more, which in turn causes his stone heart to grow three sizes. Yeah leaving you was going to be absolute hell.

“Negan!! Are you listening to me at all?” You groan, “Sorry Darlin’ I was in my head” he admits, you sigh before taking his hand in yours, causing his heart to skip a beat like he was some lovesick teenager. “I will talk to her again after this run, let her know how far you’ve come ok, but until then I will not let anyone hurt you ok? You’re my best friend and my favourite person” you smile. “Yeah ok sweetheart, let’s catch up with the others yeah?” He replies, you nod in agreement.

After escaping the city, all of you were exhausted from your close encounters with the walking dead, and the last thing you needed was this! You’d unfortunately found yourselves in another run in with the Reapers, somewhere in the middle of woods, surrounded by the darkness of the night. Everyone was in a struggle with one of their members, but you and Daryl were taken by surprise, one minute you were fighting for your life, the next everything went black.

_______________________________________

Negan was beside himself, he couldn’t find you anywhere and he was starting to fear the worst. “I can’t find her anywhere!!!” He frets, looking to Maggie hoping she had any answer, anything at all. “I didn’t see where she went, but Daryl’s missing too, my best guess is the reapers took them, as I can’t see any bodies” Maggie thinks out loud. ‘Bodies’ that single word now terrifies him, the thought of loosing you makes him feel sick to his stomach.

“We need to find them now! I have to find her” he yells, eyes wide with terror. “We will, let’s regroup and make our way to their community” she plans. Negan nods not trusting his voice right now, he needs to hold you in his arms again, know that you’re ok and breathing. He can’t loose you, he just can’t, you’re his whole reason for existing now, he can’t live without knowing you are ok.

Approaching the facility they are inhabiting it appears well guarded, high walls, soldiers perched atop with guns. They would need one hell of a distraction if they were going to infiltrate the walls. “I have an idea” Negan says, “But you’re not gonna like it”.

Negan new he’d need this mask again one day, god did it stink now! He was trying to show Maggie how to round up walkers by using the mask and the walk. “Argh this is never going to work!” She growls in frustration, “Well not with that attitude it won’t” Negan teases, Maggie shoots him a glare, and if looks could kill, Negan would be six feet under by now!

“Look I know you hate this, but we both care about Y/N so I suggest we pull it together and god forbid get along for one moment, to save those we care about yeah? Then you can go right back to hating me” Negan suggests, voice laced with frustration, you were loosing time and he wanted you back alive, preferably in one piece.

“Yeah ok” she begrudgingly agrees.

_______________________________________

You on the other hand had woken up tied to a chair next to Daryl, watching him be on the verge of drowning every few minutes was horrific. Watching such a good friend be tormented by the woman he cared about, was heartbreaking.

“What about her?” One of the men said pointing at you, “I don’t really care what you do to her, kill her if you must” Leah shrugs. “Don’t touch her!” Daryl spits, this caused Leah to sneer at you, jealousy coursing through her veins as she realised Daryl cared about you. You knew it was familial but clearly she didn’t, you were like a little sister to Daryl, the one he’d managed to save after failing Beth. He couldn’t fail you too it would destroy him, after loosing Rick he’d stepped into that big brother role without you even needing to ask.

As if reading your mind he said “Touch ma little sister n’ I’ll kill ya” venom laced in his words. “Little sister? You must be y/n? I’ve heard a lot about you.” Leah hums and you can tell on her expression that she’s deciding what to do next. All thoughts in your mind halt when she pulls a sharp blade to your cheek, slicing through the top layer of skin, red trickle of blood sliding down your face. Daryl is fighting his restraints, feeling helpless that he can’t help you, you though you didn’t even flinch, watching her with a glare.

“Put them in a cell, I’ll decide what to do with them later” Leah demands, walking out of the room.

You let out a breath in temporary relief, all you wanted right now is to be back in the arms that make you feel safe. After everything you’ve been through in the last 48 hours, you’re not wasting anymore time if you ever see Negan again, you’ll just let yourself love him.

_______________________________________

It was night time before they managed to round up the walkers, marching them towards the gates of the Reapers home. Some of their group snuck off into the facility, to set the plan in motion of getting the walkers inside the gates. The whole things went by in a blur, and the end result was you and Daryl fighting Leah on top the walls ledge. Leah was ready to blow up the whole of your group, before she could light the explosives, you ran at her full speed! Knocking her over with a thump, this caused the wooden ledge you were both on to give out, sending you both her hurtling to the ground, as the ledge caved in on itself.

All Negan could do is watch in horror as the women he loved tumbled through the timber wreckage. He hastily ran towards you dodging bullets, walkers and incoming Reapers. That’s when Maggie saw it, he loved you, she never thought in her wildest days she would see the day Negan truly loved someone. She couldn’t even be mad, because it was you! One of her best friends, the person who could never be cruel to anyone, you’d do anything for anyone, everyone around you loved you.

She ran to help him, he was now frantically searching through the rubble, pulling wood and debris out of the way in a manic search for his whole world. Moments later he was joined by Maggie and Daryl who both helped him to remove enough crap out the way to pull you free. “Shit! Does she hav a pulse?” Daryl asked, Maggie moved her fingers to your neck searching, when she found it the steady thump thump, she relaxed “Yes” she smiled. “Thank god” Daryl breathed.

Negan cradled you in his arms, checking for any major injuries, your limbs were intact and there was only a small bump and cut to the front of your head. As he lifted your top he could see bruising already forming over your ribs, the timber must have fallen on them probably causing some broken ribs. He just hoped there was nothing internal going on, “Come on baby girl wake up for me, I need you to open those beautiful eyes for me sweetheart, I need to know you’re ok!” Negan pleads, but you’re still silent, limp in his arms. Tears streaming down his face he stands up with you still in his arms, “Ya need ta get her outta here” Daryl yells, while taking down walker after walker.

Negan nods knowing he’s right, and takes you out of the war zone, he just prays you’ll wake up soon.

By the time dawn breaks you’re all a safe distance from the wreckage, the Reapers had been defeated and you were on your way home to Alexandria. You were still passed out in Negan’s arms, unaware of everything that had transpired around you. “Ya want me ta carry her for a bit?” Daryl asks, aware that he’d been carrying you hours now. Negan just shakes his head, “No I’m ok” he says, moving a piece of hair from your face. Maggie watches him with deep curiosity, “You love her don’t you?” She asks, “Yeah, I do.” Negan sighs looking down at you again, tears filling his eyes as he sees yet more bruises forming over your face and body.

Maggie nods, “I never thought I’d see the day Negan Smith could actually love someone” she quips, “Well despite popular belief, I’m not a complete monster, I do know what love is. I do now also know what you must have felt like though, that day at the lineup, seeing y/n fall through that, well I thought I’d just lost everything. That was the worst feeling of my life, and I am sincerely sorry for everything I put you through. I understand now how you must have felt, and I wish I could take everything back I really do.” He admits sadly.

“I relive that night every day Negan, it tortures my very soul, and so I can’t forgive you I’m sorry but I just can’t. You fill my every nightmare, and my son must live every day without his father because of you.” Maggie declares, Negan nods in understanding, “No I get it, I could never forgive me either, but still, you deserved an apology” he says.

It goes silent for a moment while Maggie thinks out her next words, “As much as I can’t forgive you, nor will I ever trust you, I can promise I won’t kill ya or hurt you, on the only reason that I can’t hurt her, she’s been through enough. I care about her too much to do that, she’s been there for me when no one else was, she helped me through my pregnancy and delivered Hershel, if she chooses to be with you I’ll respect it.” She determines, Negan looks at her in complete shock, he never expected that from her, “But!” She starts, ‘Oh here it comes’ he thinks “If you ever hurt her! I will kill you! I will not hesitate, do you understand?” Maggie growls, “Yes ma’am” Negan replies, small smile gracing his lips.

_______________________________________

Waking up you find yourself back in Alexandria, you’re in the infirmary that’s one thing you’re sure of, looking to your side you see Maggie asleep in the chair, then you feel a lump on the bed beside you. Looking to your right you see Negan sat on another chair, his head in his arms on your bed, you break into a small grin, he looked so peaceful beside you, like his worries had all drifted away.

Sitting up slightly you feel a sharp pain in your side hissing at the sudden feeling you rouse them both, “Sweetheart your awake! How long you been awake you should have shaken me” Negan worries, “Just a couple of minutes, you both looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake you” you answered honestly. “Well you should of” Maggie tsks, “How are ya feeling?” She asks, “Like I’ve been hit by a bus, how did I get back here?” “I carried you back, you’ve broken a few ribs, but otherwise it’s just a lot of bumps and bruises, Siddiq said you’ll be up in a few days, you’ve just got to take it easy” he explains.

“I’ll go find Siddiq, and give ya both a miniute” Maggie announces before leaving the room. “You two seem better?” You ask, “I wouldn’t say better, but we’ve come to an understanding” he admits, “That’s good” you agree. “Negan I thought I’d never see you again” you start “Hey it’s ok I’m here” he says “No let me get this out please, I need too” he nods “ok”.

“I never thought I’d see you again, I thought I’d die at that hell hole and I’d never get the chance to tell you that, I got your letter, I did and I was scared to tell you then but I’m not now, I love you too, I have for a long time I just didn’t know how to deal with those feelings and everything was so chaotic I didn’t feel like I had time to admit to them. But now I can, and if you’d still have me I’d love nothing more than to be yours and see where this relationship can go” he answers you by smashing his lips into yours, the kiss was passionate, loving and everything you’d hoped for now for years. “I’m all yours sweetheart, I have been since the moment I met you” he admits, you pull him in for another kiss, this one much slower but still just as passionate, he smiles against your lips thinking how the hell could he have gotten so lucky, he certainly didn’t deserve it, but you did, you deserved everything and he’d spend the rest of his life showing you just that.

#negan smith #negan x you #negan x reader #negan imagine #negan fanfiction #the walking dead negan #negan x female reader #negan x y/n #the walking dead #twd negan

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astarionapologist · 3 months

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Negan x Reader

Unlikely Sanctuary

Setting: beginning of season 10 when Alexandria deals with the small waves of walkers.

Prompt: After dealing with the countless waves of Walkers stumbling upon Alexandria’s doorsteps. Getting supplies to and from Hilltop has been more difficult. A missing shipment of Medical supplies to Alexandria results with you and Negan setting out to go and find it. That is until things go completely wrong.

Warnings: N/A mainly fluff a bit angsty and relationship building/slow burn

I was also in the middle of writing this when I got a request that kinda perfectly fit with this so whoever asked… please enjoy!

Request: would you write some negan x reader?? angsty platonic negan being caring abt u. u get hurt maybe including "cmon look at me. open your eyes darlin" (I switched darlin for hon in this fic… I KNOW IM SORRY SHOOT ME. I just thought it fit a little better this time around 😢)

The numbing pain in your cheeks from the biting cold was all you could feel. Your body moved sluggishly as you worked tirelessly for the fifth consecutive night to protect Alexandria’s walls from the relentless waves of Walkers. Whether the Whisperers were behind this assault or not, your mind was too clouded with the struggle to stay awake to focus on that. You paused for a moment, pinching the space between your eyes with your head hung low, when a gentle hand settled on your shoulder. Turning, you saw Michonne, a look of worry etched on her face.

“Y/N I have a job for you.”

“What is it? Anything new news with the Whispers or-?”

“Possibly… we’re missing a shipment that was due yesterday. And with these ongoing herds I’m worried there’s a chance something happened…”

“I need you to rest for tonight and save your energy for tomorrow morning. I want you to look for the shipment and help deliver it here. Please…. I wish I could send you out there with someone but… we’re short-handed . If you’re unsure I don’t mind going instead. I just need you to take over while I’m gone.”

“That would be unnecessary, I have someone to accompany Y/N. Someone who’s in dire need of a job.”

Gabriel says a bit tense as he looks over to motion over at Negan who was currently on clean up duty discarding any piled up walkers.

“You can’t be serious….” Michonne mumbled under her breath.

“I can assure you I am. He is perfectly able to go out and work. Keeping him here to shovel up the dead when he’s more useful outside is just foolish.” Gabriel sighs heavily

"Listen up, Padre. I get that you're putting yourself on the line to get me in with your little mystery crew. But honestly? I'd rather be out here picking tomatoes and burying corpses. So, if it's all the same to you, I'll stick to that." He says in heavy breaths as he wipes the sweat off his brows.

“Tsk he’d be more of a pain then an actual use.” Michonne says under her breath.

“You can fight! And Y/N can’t go alone it’s too dangerous!” Gabriel begins to shout

“Peanut butter meet Jelly!….” He says motioning his hands to both you and Negan.

“He’s going end of discussion” Gabriel ends the conversation while storming off to another issue that needs his attention.

“Well shit…” You quietly heard Negan.

“Look Michonne don’t worry about me okay? I think I can manage with Negan it’s not so big of a deal” You say calmly. You've heard the tales of how ruthless Negan was when he led the Saviors, a cold-blooded force on the battlefield who didn't believe in mercy. Yet, mercy was exactly what he received from Rick Grimes. Despite all the stories, you remained unfazed. You were not someone to be controlled by cautionary tales, nor one to believe blindly in them. Even so you weren’t exactly excited to go on this run with Negan but at least him coming along meant the risk of making it back was a lot higher.

The next morning, you stood beside Negan, waiting for the gate to open. It was time to set off and discover what had happened to the missing delivery. The journey itself was quiet for a while, of course until Negan started getting a bit talkative….

"Hey, you ever think about what you'd be doing if all this hadn't happened?" Negan asks, glancing sideways at you.

You keep your eyes on the road ahead, but decide to answer. "I try not to. Seems like a waste of energy, you know? Thinking about what could've been."

Negan nods, seeming to appreciate your honesty. "Yeah, I get that. But sometimes I can't help it. Before all this, I was a high school gym teacher. Can you believe that?"

“Honestly kinda? Pegged you for the type who probably peaked in high school.”

“Ouch… maybe you’re not wrong but shit man! Did ya have to be so blunt?” He chuckles

“Besides what did you even do before the world when to shit?”

You hesitate, then decide to share. "I worked in an office. Not very exciting, but it paid the bills."

“Wasting away in an old office huh? What a snore, but hey! Excitement isn't everything. Stability's got its perks."

“Yeah I guess so-” and awkward chuckle escapes your lips as you wonder why he suddenly started pointless idle chatter.

"So," you say, trying to kill the short awkward silence "you ever miss it? Teaching, I mean."

Negan's expression softens. "Sometimes.”

“Miss the kids, mostly. They were a good bunch. But you can't dwell on the past too much, right? Gotta keep moving forward."

“Right… forwards” Something about him talking about moving forwards kind of ticked you off. He’s the reason why so many of the people you care about are stuck in the past and for some reason he’s allowed to just move forward?

Negan looks at you, his gaze more serious now. "Listen, I know you've heard things about me. About what I did. And I don't expect you to forget that. But I'm trying to be different now. Trying to make up for some of it." He sighs distantly looking forward onto the trail ahead.

You nod slowly.

"I get it," Negan says. "Trust is earned, not given. But for what it's worth, I'm glad we're out here together. Feels nice stepping out a bit and talking to someone who doesn’t immediately want to cut my head off.”

“For what it’s worth… I‘ve always been one to believe actions speak louder than words”

“Yeah? Well thanks… it means a lot.” A smile forms on his lips as he lets out a small yet warm laugh

The conversation fades into a more comfortable silence, and as you continue on your way, you find that the initial awkwardness is slowly being replaced by a tentative sense of camaraderie.

The day quickly fades, and you soon realize you need to find a place to set up camp. Fortunately, you passed an old cabin a couple of miles back. If you hurry, you might be able to make it there before the sun sets.

"Hey, it's getting late. We should head back to the cabin we found earlier. It's not too far, and if we leave now, we can probably make it before dark."

Negan pauses and looks up at the dwindling light in the sky above him. “Hm, yeah, you’re right. Good call. Better than being alone in the forest, easy prey for these deadheads, right?"

About half an hour later, you're halfway to the cabin when you notice a Walker roaming closer to you in the woods. You find it strange how quiet these woods have been. This is the first walker you've encountered during your run. The woods have been unnervingly lifeless and still, with little to no animals in sight. You’re far enough from the masses of herds that stumbled into Alexandria, so they shouldn't have disturbed the wildlife here. Yet, you stand on edge with a chill up your spine, as if you can feel many unwanted eyes staring at you.

“I got this one” You say pulling out your hatchet

The Walker staggered closer, its guttural moans breaking the eerie silence of the woods. With a swift, practiced motion, you drew your hatchet, its blade gleaming in the fading light. The hatchet whistled through the air, embedding itself with a sickening thud into the walker's skull. For a moment, there was silence, the hatchet was pulled free, the only sound left was a faint rustle.

As soon as the first walker appeared, another followed close behind. Then two more, then three. Before long, a small herd had formed, lazily shuffling side to side like a mindless group of cattle.

“Stay on guard… we’re not alone.” Negan said drawing out his crowbar stained with the blood of the dead.

“They’re here…”

“There’s too many of them… we have to act fast, make a run for it if we have to.” You stand at a ready position ready to either commit to fighting or flighting.

“I hear ya, but we don’t know the difference between the Walkers and the Whispers yet…” he pauses slightly at the end and exhales deeply “Stay close you hear?”

You nod at Negan, shifting a bit closer to him. "You're right," you say, eyes darting around the shadowy woods. "But we can't afford to stay here. Let's move."

With that, you both take off through the underbrush, the walkers' moans growing louder behind you. The forest floor is uneven, roots and rocks hidden beneath a blanket of leaves. Your breath comes in quick gasps, and your heart pounds in your chest. The adrenaline pushes you forward, but a misplaced step sends you crashing down. A sharp pain shoots through your ankle

“Fuck- shit shit shit” a small whimper escapes your mouth

“Negan!”you cry out, clutching your leg.

Negan skids to a halt and rushes back to your side. "Dammit," he mutters, glancing at the rapidly approaching walkers. "Shhh you’re okay don’t worry just hang on." He hefts you up, throwing your arm over his shoulder

Despite the searing pain, you try to keep moving. Negan's strong grip and determination push you both forward, but the walkers are relentless. He swings his crowbar, bashing in heads and keeping the undead at bay. One walker lunges, and he shoves it back its skull cracking under the force of his blow.

“I don’t know how long I can’t keep going” a deep and shaky inhale leaving your breath

“Just a bit further hold on. Just say with me”

Negan spots a narrow ravine up ahead, partially hidden by dense undergrowth."There," he says, pointing. "We'll lose them in there."

“A choke point… smart we’ll lose them all hopefully Walkers and Whispers alike.

He helps you hobble toward the ravine, the ground becoming steeper and more treacherous. As you descend into the shadows, the moans of the walkers grow fainter. The dense foliage and uneven terrain slow them down, giving you both a chance to catch your breath.

"We need to keep moving," Negan urges, his voice low and urgent. "They'll figure out a way around eventually."

You try and stand, a sharp pain consumes your ankle as you stumble on forward, fortunately enough Negan catches you before you completely fall.

“Shit- hey settle down okay? I’ll carry you the rest of the way. We’re only about a mile or two away we’ll make it”

“N-no I’m fine I can do this, I don’t need help” You stand up again this time you stumble forwards and fall into your hands and knees”

“Jesus Christ do not fucking do this right now”

“Whatever this is? Pride, embarrassment, Fear? I need you to fucking swallow it and let me help you.” He’s agitated but nonetheless somewhat patient.

“No… just-“

“Just what Y/N? If you think I’ll just happily fuck off and leave you hanging you’re wrong”

“Just think… I can’t keep walking, we make it to the cabin then what? What if they find us how… long until I just drag you down and end up taking you down with me?” You respond in a low shaky voice looking down at the floor

He shakes his head and sighs “cmon… look at me.” He notices how tightly you have your eyes shut as you silently shake with fear.

“Open your eyes hon….” he says, squatting down to meet your gaze. His hand gently rests on your knee, offering a steady, reassuring presence.

“I’m sure as hell ain’t leaving you behind… besides if I did I’m sure they’d hang me back home” he chuckles a bit then shakes his head at his own stupidity

Negan looks at you, a serious expression crossing his face. "I ain't leaving you, alright? You're something rare in this shitshow of a world. You've got hope in people. Even in people like me. Hell, I thought you'd rather take your chances alone than with some shit-faced old man who's done a lot of crappy things. But you... you’re putting me first, and that’s something beautiful in a world like this one. You’re a good person, Y/N. You don’t deserve to die cruelly or horribly. And definitely not alone. So if you're staying, you best fucking believe I'm staying too."

“W-what?” You look up in shock of what he just said

"You can't stay here! You have to leave, please," you plead, your voice trembling. "I'll only slow you down." Desperation and fear lace every word.

“Hmmm think I am gonna stay right here” a coy smile displayed on his lips

“Unless… I don’t know” He taps on his chin “ I carry you the rest of the way to the cabin?”

“I’m being serious here you can’t-”

“Oh so am I. What is it going to be hon? Are we stayin’ or??”

“Fine- shit fuck okay…” you put your arms in your hands embarrassed at how full circle this scenario just became.

“Good answer!!” He chuckles squaring done so you can easily climb on his back.

With renewed determination, you both push forward. The forest is still eerily quiet, but the sense of being watched has diminished. As the sun dips lower in the sky, you finally spot the outline of the cabin through the trees.

"There!" you whisper, pointing at the small rundown cabin.

Negan helps you into to the cabin quickly setting you on a sofa not to far from the entrance. The small, rustic interior feels like a sanctuary compared to the dangers outside.

Negan collapses against the wall, breathing heavily. "That was too close," he says, wiping sweat and blood from his brow. He looks over at you, concern in his eyes. "How's that ankle?"

“Shit” you say inspecting the injury “But thankfully not too shitty, I just glad we made it okay”

He nods, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Yeah, we did." He stands, offering you a hand. "Let's see if we can find something to patch you up. We're not out of this yet."

The night finally settles in, the oppressive darkness of the forest pressing against the cabin walls. Despite your best efforts, you couldn't find anything useful for your ankle. Negan managed to rig up a crate as a makeshift stool to elevate it, offering some small relief. He strides to the fireplace and swiftly gets to work, expertly bring a fire to life without wasting a moment.

"Rest up, okay? I'll take the first watch," Negan says, his voice softer than usual, a protective edge to it.

You nod, exhaustion pulling at your eyelids. The adrenaline has worn off, leaving you bone-tired and achingly aware of your injury. As you lie back, the faint crackle of the fire and the steady rhythm of Negan's breathing become a comforting backdrop. You close your eyes, trusting him to keep you safe, and slowly drift off to sleep.

Omg I haven’t wrote anything in forever but I’m so glad I did! Again srry for any spelling mistakes! I also plan on maybe making a part two for this so keep an eye out for that one! Let me know what you think and feel free to request! Thanks you bye<3

#twd x reader #twd negan #twd fanfiction #twd x you #twd x y/n #the walking dead x you #the walking dead x reader #the walking dead negan #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead #negan x reader #negan smith #negan x you #negan fanfiction #negan x y/n #negan fluff #negan imagine

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chelseypprimrose · 1 year

Text

Cheerleading Practice / Negan x Reader / Pre-Apocalypse

Warnings: daddy kink, oral (female receiving), soft!dom Negan, stepdaughter/stepdad relationship, use of one degrading name (slut), shower sex, masturbation(female), facial.

think that’s all of them, let me know if I missed any.

I wrote something similar to this many moons ago but I just can’t get enough of shower sex with Negan lol 🤍

“And five, six, seven, eight!” You called out to the rest of the girls, them following your routine down to a T. With the big game right around the corner, you’d scheduled more practice sessions with everyone, wanting to make sure you nailed this performance as the final was always the most important and had the biggest attendance numbers of all the games during the season. Your squad was made up of 10 girls including yourself, being elected the cheer captain at the start of the year. You were lucky to have such a lovely group of friends that you had made through cheer squad and they always gave you 100%.

You watched as the girls ran through the routine for about the 50th time, giving pointers on some of the moves that were a little harder to master. You gave a demonstration of a harder move that required all the girls to execute, the pyramid. Your friends, Kate and Leigh, had a hold of your legs as your feet were situated on their hands as you raised your arms, beaming smile on your face.

The music rang in your ears as you were thrown in the air being caught by your girls when you gracefully came back down. “Yes! Brilliant girls, you were all amazing! I think we are ready, next session will be on Thursday, please remember to practice at home in the mean time, get home safe!” You told everyone as they all gave each other a round of applause and grabbed their bags to head home. You grabbed your own belongings and headed towards the girls bathroom in the corner of the school hall.

Opening your locker up, you placed your gym bag inside, grabbing your white towel and toiletries bag to head towards the showers, turning the dial on as the water started to heat up. Taking off your cheer uniform, a small red tank top with the schools logo on the front and short matching skirt, you chucked them to the side, now fully naked.

Stepping into the shower, you took your hair out of ponytail you’d put it in before practice, letting your fingers run through to get out any kinks and tangles out.

With the water spraying on you, your mind wandered to your activities with Negan a few short weeks ago. You knew it was wrong, lusting over a man who not only was around 10 years your senior, but also with your mother. You let out a deep sigh, you couldn’t help but want him even more. You couldn’t deny how handsome he was, how charming he was, how he lit your body on fire just being around him. You felt your body getting hot, just replaying the way he’d made you cum all over his fingers, the feeling of nirvana when he kissed your neck, hitting that sweet spot at the base. You closed your eyes, leaning on the back of the wall in the shower, your hands running down your body until you got to your slick heat between your legs, you needed release, your fingers coming down onto your clit, moving in slow circles. Your other hand squeezing your erect nipples as you pictured Negan above you as he had been those weeks ago.

You let out a soft moan, your fingers quickening, wanting to avoid being caught in such an embarrassing predicament.

“Shit doll, is this a post training ritual?” You gasped as you opened your eyes at lightening speed, the very man that had caused you to be doing this, the one you’d been thinking about, right in front of you with a massive grin covering his features. “Negan?! What the fuck, this is the girls bathroom? What if someone saw you come in?” You shouted, trying to push past him to grab your towel that was on the top of the cubical that surrounded the shower.

“Calm down, I made sure that I was extra fucking careful. I had to come find you after watching that performance.” Your eyebrows raised in a confused look. “Don’t tell me you didn’t notice me watching you? Couldn’t keep my eyes off of you in that tight little outfit, got me hard as a rock that shit did, doll face.” He pushed back your wet hair, exposing your breasts to him in full view. “Want to give me a little one on one performance right now?” He asked, his hands going from your hair to your breasts, playing with your nipples, your heat getting slicker than it already was, his eyes meeting yours.

You went against every better judgement in your head as you pulled him closer, your hands grabbing the bottom of his tight fit black T-shirt, pulling it over his head in one fluid movement. His hands placed on your neck, capturing your mouth with his as you helped him step out of his gym shorts, hitting the ground with a wet slap.

“God, this is all I’ve been thinking about for days, I need you Negan.” You mumbled against his lips, you couldn’t get enough of him. “I know doll, you haven’t made it easy on me. All I wanted to do at breakfast was pull down your little shorts and take you right there on the table. Shit doll, you are like a drug I just can’t quit.” He replied, picking you up by your thighs and slamming you against the shower wall, his cock now full erect, leaking with pre cum.

He slid down to his knees, you on your tippy toes focusing on not slipping over on the wet floor, the water raining down on you both. Negan’s face between your legs, he gave small kisses to the inside of your thighs, the anticipation building up right in the middle of your core. You whimpered, trying to grind your pussy into his tongue, him resisting by gripping your thighs. “Now, now sweetheart, good things come to good girls who wait.” He let out a small chuckle, turning his focus back to your clit, every stroke with his tongue feeling like heaven.

You pulled him up from his position on the floor, your mouth connecting to his, tasting yourself on his lips. “Fuck, daddy! I need you inside me now. Please.” You moaned out, as he turned you around, the front of your body smashed against the cold wall of the shower. He lined himself up at your hole, his swollen tip teasing you by running across your opening. “You always look so fucking sexy like this doll, begging me to fuck you raw.” He whispered in your ear, finally filling you up with his hard cock. You whimpered at the feeling, pleasure already taking over you before he’d even started moving.

His hips started to rotate, thrusts starting off slowly, stretching you out like no one else had been able to, like maybe no one ever would be able to do. Negan picked up the place, your hands coming out to steady yourself against the wall, his hands grabbing in your hair and yanking it back, so you were looking up to the ceiling. You tried to move one of your hands down to your clit, Negan grabbing your arm and holding it in place behind your back. “No touching yourself doll, I want your pleasure to come only from me.” He growled out, his breathing quickening, little groans and moans leaving his lips as he slammed into you. His other hand leaving your hair to come down hard on your ass, the slapping sound filling the room along with the beautiful sound of your skin slapping together as your bodies came together.

You clenched around his cock inside you, your vision becoming blurred as you let the pleasure build up inside your core. “Daddy I’m so fucking close, please!” You could feel your heart beating faster, a small sheen of sweat coating your forehead, washed away by the water still running down both your bodies. “That’s it my dirty girl, cum around daddy’s cock for me.”

That was the only permission you needed as you let your body go, the waves of pleasure hitting you like a ton of bricks. You let out moans that would make a porn star blush, just feeling euphoric as your orgasm faded just as quickly as it had come. You gave a small push of Negan, his dick leaving you, making you feel empty. You turned to face him, willingly getting on your knees as he started to jerk his cock at a quick pace, the white, hot spurts of cum coating your face with a dozy smile on your face as you licked off the remanence off your lips, the salty taste satisfying you.

“Goddamn, that’s the hottest sight I’ve ever seen. You dirty little slut.”

Negan throwing his head back, closing his eyes, letting his body shake and his hands resting on the sides of your cheeks. Both your breathing came to a slower rate, your hands gripped on the outers of his thighs, standing up back to your feet, Negan looked back at you with a deep smile on his face.

“Shit doll, you! You are going to be a fucking problem for me.” He laughed, pecking you on the side of your face.

#imagine #imagines #negan #the walking dead #negan imagine #twd negan #imagine blog #negan twd #Negan smut #negan fanfiction #negan x you #the walking dead negan #negan the walking dead #negan x reader #negan's thirst squad #negan imagines #softdom!negan #stepdad!negan

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roryelijah02 · 1 month

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Hello! Hope you're doing well! Wondered if you could analyse the whole 'what does Carol want' thing? There's the Eugene&Carol scene where she tells him to go meet Stephanie and then he says "I sincerely hope you get what it is that you want" - and the very next thing for her is negan giving her alpha's head. And then there's the Alpha hallucination being all 'what do you wantttt'. And then daryl asking her if she got what she wants after nearly jumping off a cliff and she says "no and I won't" but then she's insane with emotion when he says "you still got me". There's probably more. What is ittt, what does she want ��🫠 I feel like if you put all the scenes in sequence where they touch on it then you could see her working through that question herself, but then I feel like it's left hanging there and I'm never clear on what it actually is.

Hey there. Thank you so much for your ask. I'm very excited to get into this analysis so let's get started.

All throughout season 10a and 10b, a big focus on Carol's mind is to defeat Alpha. A big motivating factor for why she wants to defeat Alpha is to get vengeance and justice for her son, Henry's, death which was caused by Alpha. However, there's also a big part of Carol that wants to defeat Alpha to avoid anything like what happened to Henry and the other people who died at the end of season 9 happening to anybody else, especially Daryl (more on that later).

During Season 10 Episode 9, Squeeze, when the group are trapped in the cave, Carol has a conversation with Daryl where she admits to him that she doesn't just want to ki*l Alpha but that she also wants to hurt her, make her regret everything and beg for forgiveness before she does so. This is what I believe Daryl is referring to when he asks Carol if she got what she wanted in Season 10 episode 16, A Certain Doom. Carol and Daryl can understand each other extremely well, better than they can anybody else, so I believe that Carol knew that conversation was what Daryl was referring to with his question. This is why Carol responds with "no and I won't" because even though this is a really happy moment for her - she's reuniting and making up with Daryl after they had what was probably the worst falling out they've had since their bond blossomed - in terms of that conversation she had with Daryl in Squeeze, she didn't get what she wanted. She ended up having to reach out to Negan for help with defeating Alpha (my thoughts on why she didn't reach out to Daryl about it later) and he ultimately ended up being the one to ki*l her. So despite trying her hardest, Carol didn't manage to hurt Alpha or make her regret everything or beg for forgiveness, she didn't even get to be the person to ki*l her. Something that is interesting to note here is that Carol released Negan from his cell and asked for his help in Season 10 episode 4, Silence The Whisperers, before she had this conversation with Daryl in Squeeze, so if what she told Daryl was truly all she wanted, she was probably already aware at that point that she wouldn't get it because it would be Negan dealing with all of that for her. That's the first thing that makes me think what she said in that conversation during Squeeze wasn't what she truly wanted but I do still believe that the contents of that conversation was what Daryl was referring to with his question.

Let's move on to the scene between Carol and Eugene. Immediately, something important to note is that whilst Carol and Eugene are friends, Eugene doesn't come anywhere near to being as close to Carol as Daryl is. In fact, to emphasise again, nobody is as close to Carol as Daryl is. Therefore, it is very, very unlikely that Carol would have confided in Eugene, or anybody other than Daryl, about what she admitted to Daryl during their conversation in Squeeze. This leads me to believe that whilst yes, Eugene is likely aware that Carol wants vengeance and justice for Henry, he doesn't know the finer details of how Carol wants to take Alpha down and therefore, this makes me think that he's at least only partly talking about Carol's revenge on Alpha when he says he realy hopes she gets what she wants. I'm lead to believe this further by a couple of other things: Firstly, the context of the scene. This scene takes place in season 10 episode 12, Walk With Us. This is just 3 episodes after the cave incident in Squeeze and it's clear that Carol is in bits over her falling out with Daryl, breaking her promise to him and hurting him. This is proven by how in the previous episode, season 10 episode 11, Morning Star, Ezekiel easily finds Carol at Daryl's old camp and when Carol asks how he found her, his response is "This is Daryl's old camp, right? I figured you needed some comfort." This proves how much Ezekiel is aware about what Daryl means to Carol and how, if there's anyone who can provide her with comfort, it's him, even if that's in an indirect manner. However, it's not just Ezekiel who's aware of this. So many characters in the show are fully aware of Carol and Daryl and what they mean to each other. Some examples are: Glenn asking Daryl what they should tell Carol when they return to the prison without him and Negan calling Carol Daryl's girlfriend. Therefore, it is extremely likely that Eugene is also fully aware of what they mean to each other. Eugene has also just witnessed Carol being punched by Yumiko. This is a traumatic thing to go through in general. However, as Eugene is very possibly aware of Carol's past experiences, he's very likely to know that she needs Daryl for comfort during their conversation, just like Ezekiel had in Morning Star. The other thing is that Eugene tells Carol he really hopes she gets what she wants just after Carol tells him to go and be with Stephanie, who she knows he has a romantic interest in based on their conversation. This feeds into how Eugene is very likely to be fully aware of what Daryl and Carol mean to each other. Therefore, I believe that Eugene feels like Carol needs Daryl in this moment and maybe she needs him more than she's letting on so when he says he hopes that she gets what she wants it's almost like he's telling her to go and be with the person who will make her happy/find her happiness just as she's advised him to do with Stephanie.

Side note: I find it very interesting that Carol encouraged Eugene to go and be with the woman he was interested in romantically during season 10 and then during the first season of Daryl Dixon, Daryl encourages a man to go and be with his girlfriend.

Back to the analysis now and the scene that ultimately solidifies my belief that the "what do you want" notion for Carol throughout season 10 isn't just about her wanting revenge on Alpha has to be the scene where Carol hallucinates Alpha in season 10 episode 14, Look At The Flowers. Whilst it's Alpha on our screens talking, showing Alpha is who Carol sees and hears voicing her thoughts, it's important to remember that Carol is hallucinating in this scene and so all the things "Alpha" is saying are actually coming from Carol's head directly, these are distinctly her thoughts. At this point in the season, Alpha is already dead so it's very interesting that "Alpha" asks her "what do you want?" Because if what she wanted was for Alpha to meet her demise, that's already happened, so there has to be something more, right? And like I previously mentioned, I don't think what she wants is about her conversation with Daryl in Squeeze because Carol had already released Negan by the time that conversation happened so knew it was unlikely she'd be able to take Alpha down in exactly the way she wanted and she definitely can't do it now as Alpha is gone. Therefore, in my mind, there's definitely something more to it about what she wants and I believe this scene gives us a detail that heavily suggests what that is. At some point during her conversation with "Alpha", Carol ends up trapped under a boat with a walker desperately trying to get to her. "Alpha" starts listing off the people that Carol has lost: Sophia, Lizzie, Mika and Henry. She even mentions Ezekiel. However, it's Daryl's name that captures Carol's attention when "Alpha" adds him to the list and suggests that Carol could soon come to lose him too. It's this moment, upon hearing Daryl's name and the thought of him being in danger and losing him that gives Carol the emotional strength she needs to push the boat off of her and kill the walker attempting to get her, dislocating her shoulder in the process. This is a very telling moment for me as once again, it emphasises how important Daryl is to Carol and how she feels like she can't lose him. Many Carylers say there's no Carol without Daryl and I fully agree with them.

So, what does Carol Peletier want? Ultimately, whilst I do believe part of it was about wanting revenge on Alphaz wanting justice for Henry and wanting to protect the people around her from Alpha and the Whisperers, I do think it does come down to being about Daryl but Carol can't admit to herself, let alone other people, that it's Daryl who she wants, who her heart lies with, who is the only person who can properlu comfort her because she's terrified of losing him. Carol's conversation with "Alpha" confirmed that because the minute that she thought he could be in danger, she said that she could never let that happen and it was this notion that gave her the strength to get out from under the boat. It's also why Carol went to Negan for help with Alpha instead of going to Daryl because she knew how dangerous Alpha was - look at what happened to Henry - and if anybody had to lose their life in order to take Alpha down, it makes sense that Carol would've preferred it to happen to a villain like Negan instead of the man she cares about the most, Daryl. I believe Carol's fear of losing Daryl stems from all the other losses she's been through, especially after what she had to do to Lizzie, which makes her feel like she isn't worthy of him. I believe that Carol feels like she has a curse on peiple, where if she gets too close to them and crosses a certain line with them, their life will be in danger because look what's happened to all the other people she's loved - Sophia, Lizzie, Mika. With Henry, I feel like Carol started maybe started to think her "curse" was no longer a thing because she'd been Henry's mom for years without anything happening, but then he dies and it starts all over again. This is why, much as Carol really wants to be with Daryl, she feels like she's not worthy of him, like she doesn't deserve him and like she'll be putting his life in danger if she tells him how she feels about him/if they cross that line. That's why all of those times that people ask, she can't admit that to them, she can't admit it to anyone.

Hopefully, if she gets to work through some of her trauma in The Book Of Carol like the synopsis and information we've been given about the show have suggested, this will leave Carol's heart more open to letting Daryl in in the way she wants 🤞

#caryl #twd caryl #caryl fandom #caryl positivity #carol peletier #the book of carol #melissa mcbride

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lesbianbatlucille · 2 years

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seeing gifs for s11 and not having watched it is so fucking weird. why are they wearing suits.

#i cannot express how much i dislike a season that i have never even seen #this isn't even for reasons you would think i would hate it for. i just hate how it looks so fucking different #this is a problem i have with 9 and 10 and it's prob because of the fucking time skip #its so frustrating!!! i hate going from ''ah we've ended the war'' to ''ah rick is dead question mark?'' to-#-''7 years later! we fucking hate eachother! ^-^''#it's so awful my god #i never thought that i could like a show that somehow made me MORE FRUSTRATED. THAN SUPERNATURAL 😭#also pleaseee don't assume i think s7-8 are perfect bc negans in his prime in them. an old man can only distract me for so long 😭#i barely had any complaints about the show until they got to alexandria actually #this was such a long ass rant to be sparked from looking at a gifset oh my god 💀

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jdmorganz · 1 year

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THE WALKING DEAD Season 10, Episode 22 - Here’s Negan

Find yourself someone who looks at you the way Negan looks at his bat

#Jeffrey Dean Morgan #Negan #The Walking Dead #twdedit #dailytwd #twddaily #gifs #chewieblog #tvedit #cinemapix #filmtv #tvandfilm #userstream #s10e22 #usertelevision #cinematv #tvfilmsource #dailyflicks

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wincheskka · 1 year

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Familiar (part 1)

Pairing : Troy Otto x Fem!Reader x Negan Smith

part 2

Summary : You are at Alexandria because you want to have a happy life, away from the pain of the loss of your son's father. (I'm so bad at this sorry)

Genre/Warning : Romance, death mention, blood, injury, TWD & FTWD SPOILERS (If there are any other warnings let me know)

A/N : This story takes place to the end of TWD season 11, Annie doesn't exist in it (sorry). I've had this idea for 2 years, and with Troy's return, it makes me want to write it even more so here it is.

English is not my native language so I’m really sorry for the spelling mistakes. (tell me if there are any errors)

You put your basket on the ground when you finally see a blueberry tree, you crouch down to be able to collect them and put them in the basket, behind you the branches break under Negan's steps :

“You didn’t have to come with me” You tell Negan, turning to look at him.

“And who would protect you ?” Negan asks looking around to make sure there's no danger coming, you roll your eyes at his words.

“Negan I can protect myself” You respond, turning back to the blueberries.

"I know you can but we don't know what can happen" He replies, you shake your head at his worries "And I don't want to have to tell James that something happened to his mom"

“Nothing will happen to me” You said, throwing a blueberry at Negan which landed on his face, making you let out a small laugh.

“Yes because I’m here” He leans down and picks up the blueberry you threw at him and throws it back at your head.

“Mister has an oversized ego I see” You laugh and you collect more blueberries, you hear Negan's snicker from behind.

"It's not just my ego that's-" He starts his sentence but you turn to look at him.

"Do not finish this sentence !" You warn him by glaring at him, it makes him smirk, you look away from your friend.

You arrived at Alexandria for 10 or 11 years ago, before arriving at Alexandria and even before the apocalypse you lived at the Broke Jaw Ranch with your boyfriend Troy Otto.

You had found out about your pregnancy two days before Madison killed the man you loved, you still love. When you found out about his death you couldn't believe it, all you wanted to do was kill Madison for what she did, but you had to protect your son, so you did nothing, you let her live, so when she died at the stadium you were happy and reassured but that didn't make the pain go away.

Nick helped you a lot when you were pregnant, until giving birth or even when you just needed a shoulder to cry on Troy, he was there and he was the only one to be there for you, you knew he felt bad, that his mother killed Troy. Nick was like a brother to you and when he died it hurt you a lot, you felt so alone.

When Morgan wanted to take the group to Alexandria you immediately said yes, you wanted to be able to take your son safely, where he could have a comfortable future and where you could perhaps rebuild yourself.

So when the group finally decided not to go to Alexandria, you still went there alone with your son, during the trip you encountered some problems but you managed to arrive at the gates of Alexandria safe and sound with your 1 year and a half son.

The Alexandrians welcomed you with suspicion at first until you explained to them that it was because of Morgan that you knew about this place.

You and your son have managed to integrate into the community. You heard the stories about the war with the saviors, you had heard what the leader of the group had done, you knew he was locked up in Alexandria. You weren't afraid of the stories the Alexandrians told you about him, you felt familiar with it and you didn't know why.

6 years later your son called Alexandria home, you too even if you missed the Ranch, it was Troy that you especially missed, you never started your life again with anyone, you couldn't do it.

When winter fell just after Alpha killed Tara, Enid and Henry, you were finally able to meet the famous Negan, you weren't afraid of him, you were intrigued and even you laughed at his jokes, which surprised him, Negan also felt intrigued by you.

After the winter, Negan was able to go out more often but with someone to watch him,but that didn't stop you from talking to him but you came to see him more often when he was in his cell, you talked, you talked with him about you, about James and also about Troy, talked about Troy had hurt you a lot but Negan comforted you and you did the same when he talked about Lucille.

Negan and you quickly became friends and even you could say that he became your best friend, it's been a long time since someone cared about you like that.

After the events of the whisperers and the Commonwealth, you stayed at Alexandria and Negan also stayed with you at Alexandria, he was able to finally get to know James, your son as immediately liked Negan.

For Negan, James is like his son, he cares about him just like he cares about you a lot. You love that Negan is there for your son but you know that James sees Negan like his father and it hurt you that he never met his father, he never asked you about him and you were quite grateful for that, because you know it will be a hard discussion to have, but you also know that the discussion will happen one day.

"You're almost finished ?" Negan's voice brings you out of your thoughts, you don't look at him but roll your eyes and put more blueberries in the basket then stand up taking the basket in your hand and turn back to him.

“I finished” You say, smiling at him and lifting the basket to show him, he also smiles at you “You’ll be able to enjoy the pie that I’m going to prepare”

“Oh I have no doubt, your pies are always fucking excellent” Negan replies, you can see how he looks like he's happy to eat a pie and it makes you giggle a little.

“There is one condition before you can eat it” You walk in front of him and point a finger at him, he raises his eyebrows confused.

“And which one”

“Tonight you cook” You smile at him while biting your lip, he chuckles at your request “You know that James prefers your cooking to mine, so a good meal with a good dessert”

“I always find it strange that your pies are so good but your cooking is really not great” He mocks, you narrow your eyes, you didn't think he was going to confirm that your cooking wasn't very good.

"Thank you" You thank him sarcastically, he chuckles again, he opens his mouth to speak but suddenly noises are heard around you, you turn around and see 5 walkers coming towards Negan and you "Shit"

You put the basket on the ground, take out your machete, Negan steps forward to kill the first two walkers then you move forward to kill the others, you puts your machete into the skull of the first walker, you see the second one approaching you, you pull out your machete from the dead body's skull but it doesn't want to come out, you frown and try harder but it still doesn't come out.

The panic begins to rise when you see him coming towards you, the third approaches too, you force a little more by putting your foot on the dead body and suddenly the machete comes out but the walker are too close you quickly back away but trips on something and falls backwards, causing you to drop your machete.

You immediately feel the back of your head hit something, you feel a great pain, you groan in pain, it hurt so much but you didn't have time to understand what happened, a walker falls on you, you raise your hands so he can't bite you but you feel so weak, your hands are shaking it's more and more difficult to keep the walker away from you.

Suddenly the weight of the walker is lifted off of you, you sigh and drop your hands to the ground, your head hurts so much, your vision started to blur but you can see Negan above you with a worried face :

"Y/N are you okay ?” He asks panicked and he looks around your body to see if you were bitten, he sees the pain on your face and his eyebrows furrow even more "Where it's hurts ?"

"Head" You manage to say in pain, Negan looks at your head then he puts a hand on your neck and lifts your head, you frown in pain at this movement, you feel Negan's other hand touch the back of your head, you groan in pain.

“Shit” Negan says looking at his hand covered in your blood, your eyes start to close on their own “No keep your eyes open Y/N” He gently places your head on the ground, he caresses your cheek with his hand not covered in blood.

You try to do what he says but fail and the darkness takes you away but before you do you feel Negan lift you into his arms and see the fear on his face.

You hear voices around you which pushes you to open your eyes, but as soon as your eyes open you close them immediately because of the light in the room, you moan in pain and the voices in the room stop immediately. You hear footsteps approaching you and feel a hand on yours :

“Y/N, are you awake ?” You hear Negan's voice ask, you open your eyes a little more slowly but you squint them because of the light. You see Negan above you looking at you with worried eyes "Are you okay ?"

“T-too much light” You say closing your eyes in pain, you feel Negan remove his hand from yours and hear noises in the room, a few seconds later Negan puts his hand back on yours, you open your eyes, the room was now a bit more darker, he had drawn the curtains.

“Better ?” He asks still worried, you nod slowly, then suddenly confusion settles in your head, why are you here ? What happened ? You start to panic a little and try to sit but Negan stops you “Easy, easy Y/N”

"Why am I here ?" You ask while looking around you, you notice a woman in the room looking at you, you take a few seconds to remember that it's the doctor from Alexandria then you see a man approaching you, you recognize Gabriel.

“You don’t remember what happened ?” Gabriel asks with a frown, you shake your head, Gabriel turns to look at the woman.

“Negan tell her what happened” The doctor orders Negan, you look at him with confusion, he nods in the direction of the woman then looks back at you, Negan then explains everything to you “You remember now ?"

"Not really" You reply, Negan gives you a comforting smile, squeezes your hand and strokes your cheek with his other hand.

“You have a concussion” The doctor says, you look at her “You will stay in the infirmary today and tomorrow”

“But I have to take care of my son” You respond in panic, you can't leave James alone, Negan squeezes your hand again, you look at him.

"I'll take care of James" He tells you to calm you down, you still look at him worried "Don't worry" you sigh and slowly nod.

"She needs to rest now" The doctor says, Negan looks at her and sighs, he doesn't want to leave you you can see it and you also want him to stay but you prefer that he be there for your son , it's you this time who squeezes his hand, he looks at you again.

“Don’t worry” You repeat the words he said earlier, with a little smile, he smiles too and nods.

"I'll come see you tomorrow" He answers, then he leans down and places a kiss on your forehead, you close your eyes at that, after the kiss he removes his hand from yours and leaves at the same time as Gabriel and the doctor, let you rest.

You rested all day, you were so tired and the pain in the back of your head wasn't helping, you woke up just for dinner and you didn't even eat much.

The next day you woke up with a headache, you hadn't eaten your breakfast and barely ate your lunch. Negan came to see you at the beginning of the afternoon, he told you that James was worried about you and had trouble falling asleep last night, it hurt you to learn that your son was worried about you, you would have liked to see him but you knew that if Negan would have taken him here, you wouldn't have wanted him to leave.

Negan stayed for 30 minutes, you were happy that he came to see you even for a short moment, you spent the rest of the day sleeping, this time you ate a bit at dinner, which made you feel nauseous.

After the two days in the infirmary, you were finally able to go home, Negan came to pick you up. When you stood up you immediately lost your balance but before you hit the ground, Negan catch you.

Before you two left the doctor gave instructions on what to do and what not to do, she said that Negan needed to be there for you and said that it was best if your son spent two or three days at someone else's house. You didn't want to at first but the doctor said it was better so you could focus on yourself, rest better and heal :

"Could you ask Aaron if he can keep James ?" You ask Negan, as you walk to your house, leaning on him.

“I don’t know if he’ll be very happy to see me but yes I’ll ask him” He answers, being careful that you don't trip over anything.

You both arrive in front of your house, Negan helps you up the stairs, opens the door and you both go inside. He directs you into the living room and sits you on the couch. Negan draws the curtains to block out the light, so you take off the sunglasses he lent you and put them on the nightstand nex to the couch.

You hear footsteps on the stairs, you turn to look and see your 12 year old son coming down the stairs, as soon as he sees you he runs and hugs you, you wrap your arms around him, he really missed you.

“Hi honey” You say hugging him tighter, not wanting to let him go.

"Are you okay ?" He asks pulling away from the hug, you give him a reassuring smile.

“I'm fine, don't worry” You respond, you lie to him a little to reassure him, you don't want to tell him that you're tired, you have a headache and sometimes you feel confused.

"I'll ask Aaron" Negan says looking at you, you nod and he walks out of the house, James watches him walk out in confusion.

"Ask what ?" James asks looking at you in confusion, you sigh you have to explain to him now.

“You’re going to stay at Aaron’s for a few days” You answer him, he frowns even more.

"What ? Why ?" He asks with a little sadness in his blue eyes the same as his father's.

“Because I still need some rest” You answer him, placing your hand on his shoulder “And that I couldn’t take care of you”

“You don’t need to take care of me, I’ll be good and help you around the house” He speaks a bit panicked that he can’t stay with you.

"It will only be for two or three days" You try to reassure him but you still see sadness in his eyes.

"I don't want to" James says a bit louder, you sigh, open your mouth to answer him but suddenly your vision blurs and you feel dizzy, you hand squeezes the pillow next to you "Mom ?"

"Aaron said there was no problem fo-" Negan's voice say but when he sees you he stops in his sentence and runs towards you, he places his hands on your cheeks “Close your eyes sweetheart”

You do what he says and close your eyes, not even paying attention to what he called you. He makes you lie down on the couch so you don't fall, he gently removes his hands from your cheeks :

"James you can go get your things, I have to take you to Aaron's" You hear Negan's voice say to your son.

"But I don't want to leave her" Your son's voice responds worriedly, he became even more worried with what just happened.

"I know you're worried about your mom, kid but I'm going to take care of her, okay ?" Negan responds, you open your eyes when you feel the dizziness fade.

You see Negan look at James with a comforting smile, James looks at him for a few seconds then sighs and nods, he turns to go up to his room to pack some things. When James disappears in the stairs, Negan turns to you, he sees that your eyes are open so he approaches and sits next to your legs :

"You okay ?" He asks also worried even if he tries to hide it, you smile at him and nod.

"Yeah that was just a little dizzy" You answer, he smiles even if he's still worried, suddenly you remember how he called you earlier "Did you called me Sweetheart ?"

“Yeah I did” He answers you with a smirk, you look at him a bit surprised and also a bit embarrassed, your cheeks heat up, you turn your gaze to your hands that are on your stomach, you hear his laugh at your reaction "If it bother you I won't-"

“I doesn't bother me” You say, interrupting his sentence, you raise your eyes to his, he has a smile on his face, you smile at him shyly

You both look into each other's eyes, you feel peaceful with him, he always made you feel good and happy. For a few seconds you both stay like that until the sound of footsteps on the stairs is heard, you look away from his eyes to watch your son walk towards you two with a backpack on one of his shoulders, you still feel Negan's eyes on you :

"I'm ready" Your son says with a sulky face, this time Negan's eyes turns to your son.

"Alright" Negan says getting up, he starts walking to the front door but stops when James doesn't follow him "Come on James"

James turns to Negan and sighs wanting to stay with his mother a bit longer, you watch him walk towards Negan, you sigh not liking see him sad, you get up from your lying position and sit :

“James” You call your son, he turns around and you open your arms for him to come in, he runs to you and you wrap your arms around him and hold him tight “Don’t worry about me honey Negan will take care of me and you can come see me, okay ?”

You feel him nod against you and you hug him even tighter, you kiss the top of his head. You take a look at Negan, he smiles at this mother and son moment, you move away from the hug then with your fingers you comb his brown hair just like his father's, James looks so much like Troy that sometimes it hurt you to look at him :

“I love you James” You tell him with a reassuring smile, he smiles too, looking less sad and worried.

“I love you too mom” He responds, your heart melts at his words, James has always been a child who was not embarrassed to say I love you, you know when he grows up it will be more complicated, so you get the most of it now.

"Come on kiddo" Negan says, James walks over to Negan and you stare at him until he and Negan leave the house, your eyes are still where they went out :

"He really looks like me" a voice says, this voice is familiar to you, so familiar, your heart starts racing.

You slowly turn your eyes where the voice comes from and you see a familiar person in the doorway to the dining room, your eyes fill with tears :

"Troy ?!"

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