#needless to say that little spat is all over tabloids by the end of the night
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Did taemins cousins ever go too far, out of jealousy of how the king seemingly favored Taemin?
They never really do anything extreme. They think he’s annoying, sure, but they still love him. Realize that he’s a lot younger compared to them. But they’re teenagers and they do pick on him a bit. Because that’s what bratty older family members do.
It’s a lot of little things that build into an overall resentment. They make little jabs about how he’ll never be king. About how it’s so out of the norm for him to be going to a real school, even if it is the most prestigious and snooty school in the entire country. Even just about how he’s shorter than they are, even though he’s over five years younger than both of them and still growing.
“Well he doesn’t love you as much as he loves us,” his oldest cousin tells him one day when he’s nine. “He’s our father. You’re just a nephew.”
And it makes Taemin sad. Simply sad. And that’s the start of real resentment. He can’t stand being around his cousins. He still loves them and he respects the fact that they’re higher ranked than him, but he doesn’t like them.
When he was really little, they once pushed him and it made him fall and roll down a hill. It wasn’t a huge hill by any means, but it was big and steep for a four year old. It was scary. And the same fear and drop in his stomach he felt when he rolled down that hill is the same feeling he gets when they tell him to his face that his uncle will never love him as much as he loves them.
When he’s eleven and the entire family came to his school soccer game, they take his shoes from him after the game and play keep away. When he finally gets them back after ten minutes, he throws them to hit his oldest cousin in the shins and then stomps away.
“Taemin!” His mother scolds him. “That’s not nice, you go apologize.”
“No, they were being mean to me!”
“We were only playing,” his oldest cousin snaps at him. “God, you’re such a baby.”
“You’re a baby!”
“Both of you stop,” his uncle says. “Now let’s all go back home and have dinner.”
“I don’t wanna eat with them,” Taemin whined to his mother. “I wanna go home.”
“We can go home,” she says softly.
His girl cousin “accidentally” hits him in the head with a soccer ball as they’re walking back to the cars, and it makes Taemin turns around and shout at her and throw it back to hit her arm as hard as he can.
“You did it on purpose!”
“You’re such a psycho!” she shouts back.
“Enough!” The king scolds them. ��All of you need to calm down. This is completely unacceptable behavior!”
He ends up practically picking Taemin up under the arms and almost drags him over to the car Taemin and his mother will be going home in. He talks with him quietly, looks at his head where the ball hit him, and pouts at him when Taemin whines that it really hurt.
“I think you’ll be okay,” he assures him. “Are you sure you don’t want to come have dinner with us? There’s gonna be chocolate cake, just for you.”
“I don’t want it,” Taemin mumbles.
“Okay,” the king sighs. “Well, you played very well today. I’m very proud of you.”
“Thank you for coming to watch.”
“You know I love coming to your games. We’ll see you on Sunday. Be good until then, okay?”
“I’m always good.”
“I know you are.”
His uncle smiles at him, says goodbye to his mother and gives her a hug, and then goes back to his own wife and children.
#taemin#shinee#reluctant king au#needless to say that little spat is all over tabloids by the end of the night
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Once In A Lifetime Chapter 23 A Little Reminder
Seth's POV
I said my goodbyes to Lissa and headed home. I had a rough day and wanted to relax. I really wanted to be with Lissa, but she had to handle things with her son. Her children came first and I understood that. This is why I have been wanting to meet them. For one, we would have more time together and two, I really wanted to know her children as they were the most important thing to her. I knew with this out, it would take longer for me to meet her kids. But now, I was driving home. I pulled up in my driveway and saw my sister's car. Shit, I already knew why she was there. She probably saw the tabloids and wanted answers. I pulled up and parked. She was waiting in her car. Once she saw me, she stepped out of her car and walked over to my car. I didn't want to face her especially with my face looking the way it was. Would only raise more questions. I sighed and finally stepped out of my car. She got to me and I saw a little horror in her face when she saw my face. "Fuck, Seth. What the hell happen to you?"
I shook my head. "I don't want to talk about it. I kinda deserved it anyways."
I walked past her and she quickly grabbed my arm to stop me. I did stop and turned to her. "No, Seth! Tell me what happened?"
"Well, if you need to know, I paid Lissa's ex a visit, we got into and needless to say, this was the end result." I told her.
Then she looked unhappy with me as she stated, "So, the tabloids are true."
"Yeah." I only said.
I removed myself from her hand and walked to my house. She was on my heels. "Are you stupid?"
"Apparently." I said, sarcastically.
I opened my door and walked into the house. Rachael followed. "Seth, this isn't okay. She was to marry another man and you had an affair with her. Now the world knows. Did you not think for a second that this could happen? Did you not think what this would do to your image?"
I was tired of everyone worrying about my image. I think apart of me snapped as I turned to her. "I don't care, Rachael! Yes, how we went about things were wrong! But at the end I got what I wanted the most, her. That's all I've been wanting since we split. I love her. So much. So for her to be mine again, I couldn't be happier. Even with the bullshit, when I am with her, it's all that matters. We both were so upset about the tabloids but once I saw her after it broke, it seemed like none of that mattered anymore. We were back to smiling as we were together."
"But this could fuck up everything you worked so hard for. Doesn't that matter?" She asked.
"Not anymore. Yes, it sucks. But when I am with her. It's all that matters. My success did bring me some happiness. But I had no one to share it with. I was missing something important. Now I have that. The success doesn't even matter anymore cause I have someone I love. So, screw everything else. If being with her fucks it up, so be it." I told her.
"You really do love her, huh?" She asked.
"More then you know, Rachael. When I am with her, nothing else matters to me, just her." I said, softly. I sighed. "I know this shouldn't have happened the way it did, but if it didn't, I wouldn't have her again. I wouldn't be happy again."
She smiled at me. "Well, if she makes you happy, who am I to stand in your way."
"Thanks, Rachael." I smiled back.
I walked to the living room and sat down. The day took a toll on me. She followed and sat next to me. "So, her ex really did that to you?" She asked.
"Yeah." I breathed. "But like I said, I kinda deserved it."
"What did you do?" Rachael knew me a little to well.
"Well, first I hit him after he admitted to leaking the story to the tabloids about the affair. Well, since he is a bigger guy then me and I am not really a fighter, he barely was phased by it. He hit me back and I fell on my ass.” Rachael slightly chuckled at that. “Then I got up and decided to use my words to hurt him. So, I told him somethings about our affair that made him upset. He let loose and did all this to me." I told her.
"Well, wouldn't be the first time your words got you in trouble. What did you tell him?" She asked me.
I looked at her. "You don't want to know."
"Seth, you think anything you say will shock me, you're wrong? Remember I grew up around you." She said.
I exhaled. "Alright, don't say I didn't warn you. I said to him that the bed he sleeps in is the same one I took her in. But my words were a little more colorful."
"You didn't?" She was shocked.
I nodded and chuckled. "So, I still do shock you."
She rolled her eyes. "This isn't funny, Seth. That was really fucked up."
"No shit. Hence why I said I kinda deserved what I got. Trust me, Lissa told me flat out I did. I couldn't disagree with her." I said almost ashamed.
"Yeah, you did. I surprised he didn't do anything worse to you." She said to me. Then she asked, "Why would you say something like that? That isn't like you to kick someone when they are down. Honestly sounds like the guy is in a lot of pain. Probably heartbroken. What got into you?"
I shook my head. "I have no clue. I knew Lissa was so upset about the story being leaked. She was in a bad state. And when she is upset like that, something takes control of me. I can't stand when she is hurt. I don't know why, but I can't. It gets to me. I feel like I have to protect her, I have no clue why, but I do."
Rachael smiled at me. "It's cause you love her, Seth. It's sweet you want to be her knight in shining armor." Then her smile faded. "But you shouldn't get yourself hurt trying to do so. You have to understand what you can take on and hitting or spatting venom at a guy twice your size is something you clearly cannot handle."
"You think." I said, sarcastically. "But you were right. The guy is hurting. After he kicked my ass, we kinda had a heart to heart. I think we saw each other differently afterwards."
Rachael laughed. "I will never understand men, how can you guys go one minute to kicking each other's asses to be buddy-buddy?"
"I have no clue." I laughed. "Just can. I think we let our aggression out and then kinda calm down and able to just talk."
"Fucking weird to me, honestly." She smiled. She moved her hand to my arm and said, "Just so you know, dad called me wanting to know if the tabloids are true. So, you might want to talk to him. Especially if you do not want him coming over here, seeing your current state."
"Yeah." I nodded. "I will."
Just then my phone went off, I pulled it out of my pocket and it was a text from Lissa. 'Story got to my kids' school.'
'What? How?' I asked. I was upset that now her kids probably knew.
Rachael noticed. "What's wrong?"
"Lissa just told me the story got to her children's school." I told her.
"Shit." She breathed.
Then my phone buzzed. 'How do you think, Seth? With technology these days, kids have access to stuff like this. One of the kids saw the story. He told my son I was a whore and my son lost it. He hit the kid. Now, he is suspended for a week and the kid got off scotch free. He is allowed to be a bully to my child and when he does something about it, he gets suspended. He has never even had a bad report from a teacher but they don't care. I refuse to take this lying down, I plan on fighting back.'
"Fuck!" I blurted out.
"What?" Rachael asked.
I looked at Rachael and said, "I was at Lissa's before I came home. She got a phone call saying her son got in a fight, which shocked her. Well, now she told me that the kid her son hit saw the article about the affair and told her son that his mother was a whore. Her son hit the kid and now is getting suspended."
"What about the other kid?" Rachael asked. "I mean, he sounded like he was bullying her son, what is happening to him?"
"Nothing." I told her. "She said the kid is getting off. Now, she is angry that for one, the story got to her kids and two, the kid is not getting in trouble. She said she wasn't going to take it."
"I wouldn't either." She sighed. "It just sucks that now her kids are getting pulled into this."
"Yeah." I breathed. "I never wanted this to happen. Neither of us did. I just hate her kids got pulled into this. I wish Scott would have thought about them before he leaked the story."
Rachael shook her head. "And maybe you two have a little blame as well. Maybe you should have did things differently as well."
"Yeah, you might be right." I only said.
I texted Lissa back. 'I'm so sorry, baby. I wish I could do help in some way.'
Shortly, she replied, 'Me too. I just wish I could see you. I love you, Seth.'
A small smile appeared on my face. 'I love you too, Lissa. And I wish I could hold you until you felt better.'
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Melissa's POV
A week went by, the tabloids got worse. I mostly stayed home to hid from paparazzi. I didn't want to deal with the questions. Seth and I discussed what we should do. He wanted to just stay quiet and not give them the satisfaction from getting anything. But I thought we should go about this differently. I have seen other celebrities go through this and they admitted to it and recovered from it. Seth thought it was bold but he reminded me I was the fearless one. I told him it was worth a shot cause regardless, this would be held over our heads. This was the best shot we had to move past this. Seth agreed after some thought. We were going to have Seth's PR put out a statement to us admitting the affair. It scared the shit out of me. I knew it would get worse at first but with some time we might be able to get past it. I was just glad I had Seth through all this, even if being with Seth was what got me into this. Seth noticed I was in a bad place and wanted to get my mind off of it. He wanted to take me out. At first I didn't want to as I didn't want a chance the paparazzi to see us. But he reassured me that wouldn't happen. So I agreed. I had the nanny stay with the kids and went to Seth's. I pulled up and walked into his house. He met me in the kitchen. His face was healing quite wonderfully. He looked happy to see me. "Hey, baby."
"Hey." I was happy to see him but with everything else, I was exactly in a chipper mood. "So, what are we doing?"
"It's a surprise. Trust me, I'll see a smile on your face by the end of the night." He said, happily.
I gave him a small smile but still wasn't feeling it. "So, should we go."
"One thing before we do." He pulled a blindfold out and held it out. "Put this on."
I looked at it then at him, not amused. "Seth, why do I have a feeling this will be kinky shit involved? If that is the case, I am not in the mood."
He laughed. "No, nothing like that, I promise. I just really want this to be a surprise. I want to make sure you have no clue where we are going."
I rolled my eyes and sighed. I took it from him and breathed, "Fine."
He just smiled. "Come on, love."
We walked out and got into Seth's car. We both buckled up but Seth didn't start the car. He just looked at me. "What?" I asked.
"Put on the blindfold." He told me.
"Really, Seth, I have to put it on now." I was annoyed.
"Yes, now, put it on. I don't want you to see where we are going." He said sternly.
I exhaled and put on the blindfold. "Happy?" I said, annoyed.
I heard him chuckle. "Yes. Now sit back. I promise, you'll love it."
I just exhaled again. I was not in the mood for all this tonight. I really wanted to be at home, in my bed. My depression had be on a high since this whole thing broke. But now I was sitting in the passenger side of Seth's car and blindfolded. He took off. We drove a little while and finally, I felt him pull over. "Can I take it off?" I asked.
"Not yet." He only said.
I heard him get out of the car and a moment later, heard him open my door. He took my hand as I stepped out of the car. He guided me a bit and noticed we were on untreaded terrain. I was wondering where the hell he was taking me. We got to a point he made me squeeze into something. I asked, "Where the hell are we going?"
"You'll see." He only said. I knew he had that stupid smirk on his face.
We walked a little more and he told me to step. I slowly walked up some stairs. He walked me across what sounded to be wood and then positioned me. "Okay, now you can take it off." He said, happily.
I took off my blindfold and looked out to the city of Los Angeles. A breathtaking view. I knew where we were and looked around. I was right. We were at the Hollywood Sign. I looked up at Seth and smiled. He smiled back at me and said, sweetly, "I remember when you took me here on our second date and told me how when life became ugly, you liked to be at places like this to be reminded of the beauty of the world. I thought you needed that reminder now more then ever."
Tears built up in my eyes. I was overjoyed. Seth remember such a small detail but at that moment, it meant the world to me. I needed that more then ever with everything else happening. I moved in and took his lips. When I pulled back, I said, softly, "Thank you, Seth. I needed this, so much. And it means the world to me that you did this for me."
"I do anything for you, baby. Especially anything to make you happy. I hate seeing you so upset. I knew you needed this. I knew you needed that reminder to know it isn't so bad." He said.
My smile just got bigger. I looked back out at the lights. I was happy. I felt like my troubles melted away. I moved closer to the O and I stood there looking out at the lights. It was a beautiful view. I felt Seth's arms move around me. I leaned back against him. I said with my smile, "Now, look who is the fearless one."
"Nah." He shook his head. "Just a man willing to do whatever it takes to make his woman happy."
"You are a wonderful man, Seth MacFarlane. I am one lucky girl to have you." I said as I looked up at him.
He just smiled. He leaned down and kissed my cheek. At that moment, I realized everything else didn't matter, only what I had. I had my children and Seth. Even if I had to deal with the bullshit to have it, I would. But I would stop moping as I would be appreciative what I had. Seth gave me that reminder. He reminded me what truly matters.
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i breathe him out so I can breathe you in
Fandom: Bleach
Pairings: KiraHina-centric, mentioned badship AiHina
Words: 2,500+
Summary: Oneshot, modern!AU. WARNINGS-- smoking, mentioned serial murder, mentioned relationship violence. He smoked out her misery.
A/N: At first, I just wanted to write some shotgunning, but then it spiralled into this.
FFN | AO3
It was a woozy, primal atmosphere. Music with deep basses and long riffs, lyrics lost in the noise, boomed from ruined speakers and it reverberated through her bones. The bar was lonelier, most patrons on the dance floor or in booths, which naturally included her companion. It was oppressively warm and rather stuffy between the sweat and smoke. She was grateful she’d not only dressed appropriately but was a heavy smoker as well, it would’ve been impossible to breathe otherwise.
Though perhaps the weight of trial was the oppressive element. She had been under the perception that Sousuke’s incarceration would’ve brought her closure. Such wasn’t the case. Even as he was declared guilty on twelve counts of capital murder and two counts of battery-- she laughed as she recalled the prosecutor’s apology that he could only prove two. Like it was his fault-- she didn’t feel any different. Her heavy malaise still remained. Suddenly, loud noises still threw her into a panic. She was still without her family. Her social life didn’t exist outside of Rangiku and Nanao. Romance? Out of the question. And romance books only nauseated her. They only reminded her of him. She could still feel his smile -- the way it poured ice water through her veins….
Sousuke was gone. Her nightmare hadn’t followed.
Needless to say, she wasn’t in the mood to celebrate his incarceration. She’d just like to sleep. But Rangiku had been insistent they go out for girls’ night, even if Nanao was too busy at the prosecution's office. She’d never been able to turn Rangiku away. Perhaps it was that Rangiku was her responding officer that she felt so obligated to her. She technically was the first kindness she’d received since Sousuke monopolized her.
She swirled her cocktail, untouched, and gnawed on the cherry stem she’d tied in several knots over the course of her not-drinking. She had become a bit of a control freak over the years, grasping at the last vestiges of part of her Sousuke had yet to claim, thus alcohol and its dumbing effects was out of the question. She would rather go outside, away from the masses who'd probably heard of the scandal Sousuke had caused on the news or some exaggerated article in some tabloid, and have herself a smoke.
So she would, she thought as she spat out the mangled cherry stem. She sent a text to Rangiku she'd be on the roof and to message her when they were ready to leave. To her luck, it was deserted, though she'd had to squeeze past a younger couple who could not be bothered to find a bathroom stall to make out in on the narrow staircase up. She sat near the edge for the vantage to view the ethereal cityscape past the spaghetti bowl. The lights polluted the night sky, only the waxing moon and North Star visible. But the sky was diluted a pretty gradient of yellow-blue. She liked it. The city was full of opportunity Sousuke had stolen from her.
So she hoped.
She fished into her clutch for a cigar and matches. Never lighter fluid, the memory of her grandmother’s voice echoed, matches preserve the flavor.
Her muscles loosened with her inhalations. Though true relaxation was out of her reach, her tension replaced with clouds of melancholy. If she was not uncomfortable she was self-loathing and directionless.
It’d been almost eight years since she mustered up the courage after one of his rages to seek help. It was the hardest thing she ever did. Every numeral made her sicker and sicker, the short, covert conversation left her breathless and nauseated. She nearly fainted as he screamed at her when the police arrived. She couldn’t hear anything for days afterwards.
Rangiku-- the officer who responded to her call-- made it easier. The gift basket she’d given her was the first thing she ate since Sousuke’s arrest, her voice was the first thing her to penetrate her stunned deafness. Take it at your own pace, she said, he’s not coming out for awhile. Never, if you testify, you know.
The idea made her want to weep. She loved Sousuke, she was a good wife and a good wife didn’t put her spouse away. Sousuke loved her, he wouldn’t have been so hurt if he didn’t. But she was at the end of her lengthy rope, there couldn’t be any other reason she called.
Still, she had not washed herself of him in that time, not even when all the scum had surfaced in the investigation that followed. It was nearly impossible to with all the press coverage. Of course the news had to capitalize on the deaths of twenty-four women and the unwitting wife of a serial killer. How was she supposed to know anything between his year-long cool off and the torment she went through at home? She could barely handle her own problems.
The prosecution had called it Battered Wife Syndrome, or something. She still wasn’t sure what she would call it. Hell, maybe.
At least the divorce was short.
Footsteps interrupted her reverie. She craned her head over her shoulder and saw a gangly gentleman with blond hair fallen over his eye and his arms folded in his jacket approach her despite the plenty of space the roof provided. Initially, she worried he recognized her, but that was impossible when she considered the darkness and the distance between them. He was probably liquored up and horny. Still, she wasn't in the mood for company.
He sat next to her wordlessly. She made no move to put out her cigar-- he had approached her after all, so she assumed he didn't mind-- and turned her gaze forward before her eyelids fluttered shut. She wouldn't bother with an introduction unless he did. She was too damn tired for pleasantries.
“... a pretty girl all dolled up like you should be downstairs where the drinks are. Though, by your dress, perhaps a cabaret is more appropriate.” He said finally. Damn her luck.
Though, it was undeniable she was overdressed. Clubs, let alone the hole in the wall Rangiku dragged her to, had not been Sousuke’s scene. She didn't own anything for the environment consequently.
“Uh… yeah.” She responded.
But he sounded oddly familiar, she thought at her lips pursed. She disregarded it as loneliness. She was an odd duck like that. For weeks after Sousuke’s arrest, she swore she could still feel his weight beside her before she went to sleep, even after she moved. She still could hear him enter the kitchen in the mornings for coffee only to find nobody there.
It was just as strange how her loneliness and fear of relationships cohabitated her condition. Prior to then, she didn't think such conflicted feelings could exist at the same time in an individual. Rangiku and Nanao promised her it was the idea she wanted, but she didn't wholly believe them.
“What're you doing up here, if you don't mind my prying?” He inquired. “You look like you're out for a night of fun, but you've isolated yourself up here.”
“It was stuffy downstairs.” She answered. She wished she had the heart to tell him to buzz off. Alas, she was a doormat-- to be used, to be abused, never the tongue to say no.
She wanted to go home.
The stranger hummed in response then. She was grateful he didn't press it. Though his eyes…. She could almost feel their blueness pierce through her flimsy excuse into her very soul. Those were knowing eyes. She didn't like how his gaze probed every inch of her, how it seemed to see even the most private parts of her. She felt a little bit like a frog in biology class, under that stare.
“I think that’s your friend crawling all over mine downstairs. That's why I came up here. I really didn't want to be around to watch that.”
Her brow arched skeptically. “Oh? How do you know?” She recalled Rangiku’s definite preference for women. She'd like to think the stranger wasn't as much of a dog to leave his lady friend for another girl.
“I saw you two come in together. She has a very distinct voice. Though my friend doesn't seem to mind.” He chuckled then. “He dragged me here to celebrate my second doctorate degree.”
She smiled humorlessly. Rangiku had quite a presence. She just hoped her friend remained sober enough to keep her wits about her-- she would rather not have any incidents that may involve the criminal justice system after the most stressful years of her life. “At least they’re enjoying themselves.”
“Well, we certainly aren’t.” He said. “What’s your story?”
“Not particularly.” She frowned. She was too tired to launch into the last ten years. She was too tired to deal with the stigma media left on her-- how could she not have known her husband was a serial killer?-- too tired to tell him that she'd been too busy avoiding his wrath to have investigated why he was out so late once a fucking year.
“I'm a certified grief counselor if that's any more persuasive.”
… it was. Nanao had tried for years by then to talk her into counseling. She'd not pursued it simply because she hadn't the time nor insurance that covered mental health. But there she was then, right beside one who’d offered a listening ear for no charge, and one who didn't know she was Momo Aizen once upon a time.
She uncrossed and recrossed her ankles in front of her. “Long story short,” she started with a puff of smoke, “I spent fifteen years undergoing systematic abuse, on top of the last eight years it took for my husband to be found guilty of murder.” There. That was vague enough. “The divorce was the easy part. The trial was terrifying, but I had Rangiku and Nanao to support me at least. The hardest part is trying to find some semblance of normalcy.” Her eyes watered, and she shuddered. “I've lost contact with my family. I don’t have my education. I don't even remember my childhood aspirations.” She burst into tears then. “He wins.” She told him. “He always wins. I have his money, I put him in prison, but he still wins. I'm not happy. I hate myself. I just want to lay down and die. I don't know who I am without him. He was right when he said I'm nothing without him. At the end of the day, I'm dead inside. At the end of the day, I'm all alone. I have nothing.”
She combed her fingers through her ringlets. A breeze dried her cheeks as she sobbed. How shameful, she thought. Like she had any right to cry.
“The prosecution tacked some diagnosis on me-- Battered Wife Syndrome or something. But I loved him. He didn't need to coerce me into anything, either that or I didn't know. I stayed because I wanted to. I called the police because I needed to, it broke my heart to speak ill of him however true it was. I'm not a victim. I'm just a fool.”
Her companion was wordless and unreadable beside her. It frightened her as much as it was a relief. If it was something terrible, he was courteous enough to keep it to himself. But she couldn't take much more criticism. Rangiku made her promise to live, but by the way things looked, she may not be able to keep her word. Death seemed like the only true solace available.
She struggled momentarily with her clutch for her handkerchief. “I’m sorry. It's been a long day.” She blubbered as she dabbed her eyes. The fabric came back black with her mascara, and she cussed shrilly. She must look like a damn raccoon. It was one of the reasons she'd stopped wearing makeup-- she couldn't go a single day without ruining it because she never stopped crying.
The stranger beside her sighed. “Please don't apologize, Momo.”
Her eyebrows shot into her hairline. She'd not told him her name, and it wasn't like it was inscribed on anything. She was certain she'd been vague enough whilst she vent.
Unless he already knew her.
She felt so ill. She would never escape Sousuke, would she? She hated the press for that. She might have to move the west coast to escape familiarity with him.
“... I should go.” She uttered breathlessly. She pushed herself to her feet, only for her companion to grab her wrist with a rather desperate expression.
“Don't,” he pleaded. “Momo, it's me. It's Izuru. We were friends in high school. You were on the tennis team and Renji and I would watch you practice before we’d grab a bite to eat at the diner down the street. You revised my first published work. We all thought this senior Shuuhei was the single coolest person to ever exist because he was this punk-ass kid was still so nice to everyone. You were a senior prom royalty nominee-- I maintain that the only reason you lost was because Misty’s fucking posse rigged the votes. We were… we were friends. Don’t you remember?”
Her thoughts reeled as she stared into his eyes in stunned silence. High school was the last normal time of her life, for she had met Sousuke in college. She did remember because those memories were the only thing that made her smile, even if just for a moment.
She sobbed as fresh tears cascaded down her cheeks. He looked older, more handsome with his chiselled features and provocative blue eyes.
Izuru caught her cigar just before it hit her skirt. He pulled her into his lap,, held her tightly like she was some phantom who may vanish if he did not affirm her presence, and he kissed her tears off her honey-gold cheeks as if they did not taste of mascara.
“I’m so sorry.” She wept. “I’m so sorry. I’m an imbecile, you guys deserved better. I promise it wasn’t any of you---”
Izuru silenced her drivel with a kiss. “Hush,” he said, “whatever you have to say, I know or you’re wrong. Just let me hold you….”
Still, she whined as his fingers held the hair at the base of her neck because it was all so unbelievable. Good things did not happen to her. She was a magnet for evil and misfortune-- she could not be still loved by someone she abandoned, she could not still be loved, she could not be in his arms….
Her cigar smoke wafted between them. Izuru took a long drag and puffed against her face. It made her shiver, it made her blubber like a child. But he pulled her close and breathed smoke into her lungs. Her eyes fluttered shut, even as the smoke escaped when he pulled away. She had long learned subservience, knew to be pliable to the whims of her lover.
But Izuru was neither, she thought. His hands were not hungry, his kisses not forceful. With every kiss, he smoked out all that loneliness and even made her misery cough. She would call that codependency, how his touch softened the hurt, but she could not be bothered to care when she had something so good in her arms. It was selfish but she had been selfless for a long time.
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