#need to think of what my feb poem of the month will be still

[stuckinapril]

u do not have to be good. u do not have to walk on ur knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. u only have to let the soft animal of ur body love what it loves. tell me about despair, urs, and i’ll tell u mine. meanwhile the world goes on. meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscape, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. whoever u are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to ur imagination. calls to u like the wild geese, harsh and exciting—over and over announcing ur place in the family of things.

[ericleo108]

CosmicLuve.com Sept 2022 - Hope

2022 Cosmic Luve posts:

Sentientism 2022

Cosmic Love Feb 2020 - Emma Watson

Cosmic Love April 2022: Cary Charlotte or Mary

Cosmic Love June 2022 - Curtis Atwood’s Visions

Cosmic Love May 2022 - Starlight

Cosmic Luve July 2022 - Smoke Blunts Response Treatise

Cosmic Luve Aug 2022 - Coast

This is a very pivotal cosmic luve post were the communication was focused on Emma Watson’s new paradox refillable perfume release. I called it hope because that’s what this cosmic luve communication has brought me. Other themes include asking for permission and asking ‘do you care?’ Before we go into the similarities and why this is pivotal cosmic luve I’ll give an update since last post and give a breif outline of the theory. If you want more posts that are academic and sociological check out American Inequality 2022, The Psycho Consumption Cage 2021, Dark Racism, or check out 2021’s blog navigation post.

It seems like we’re picking up right were we left off from last month’s cosmic luve post (coast) because I have “paradox” as a lyric in my song “Vibe on the Wave” which was featured in last months post as a track that is similar to Hailee Steinfeld’s “Coast.” It seems like a roads lead and point to Emma.

To summarize, the theory is that the Earth is conscious through it’s internal dynamo and magnetism which gives it access to your mind, as I talk about in my book “108 The Story of Discovering Earth’s Consciousness” where I cite Dr. Micheal Persinger’s “No More Secrets” Experiments. How would the Earth Communicate? We explore the belief the Earth is communicating through Sentientism which basically states the Earth is communicating through trance (through drugs or rituals) or cosmic randonauting and ‘points of realization.’ Basically the Earth makes you have deja vu or epiphanies about things by highlighting cognition in conjuction with your environment. It seems if she would communicate she would do it through communications of love, like scientists interfering with a birds mating dance. 

For more details on this theory from Yummi Yetti’s perspective read the Cosmic Luve July 2022 - Smoke Blunts Response Treatise post. But Yummi Yetti is saying the Sun might take a long time to talk if you check out this TikTok of him hypothesising on how the stars communicate. This is important because one of the theme’s from this month’s log is me wondering if the Sun is asking for permission.

I haven’t wrote poetry in a long time but a couple week back, right before Emma released paradox I wrote a poem where I cried in what I can only describe as a shaman channeling the sun, which is what it’s about. You can see me recite the poem in this casual live about the notes from writing this post. I will leave the written version at the end.

Now, to get into the coincidences, I published “Hey Emma” on April 15 Emma Watson‘s birthday and Emma launched her New Prada fragrance on my birthday August 22nd. It made me feel very happy, special, and seen by Ms. Watson. The truth is though, these coincidences happen all the time and I need something more direct to act. Still it gives me hope.

This made me think about my lyrics “Hope is a paradox, tell me do you care or not?” from my second release “Vibe on the Wave.” This connected lyric of “do you care or not” is also similar this August’s release “Talk to me” (which is about Emma) where I rap “Tell me what you scared of. Tell me should I care, just, tell me should I give up. Tell me is it real love?” So there seems to be a focus on hope as a paradox and asking if you care. 

To be clear, hope is a paradox because you need it to motivate yourself to keep going. Especially in the most deperate of times, when nothing is going your way, all you have is hope. But it’s also a paradox because you have to make sure you are not hoping for the impossible. In that same way hope is a paradox bringing us out of the depth of despair but also making us hold onto nothing but the promise of pain, nothing, and failure. 

The sun and asking for permission semantics came through first with Emma’s behind the scenes video to her directing debut for Paradox where Emma says “I had to give myself permission” to ask to direct. I want to say that is a semantic cosmic luve communication and Emma is giving me permission to pursue her romantically, but that’s just wishful and schizophrenic thinking. 

What makes me think this is a communication from the sun is along with a couple other sun related semantics that I’ll get into, Emma posted a circular artwork on her instagram that semantically reminds me of a sun. In the last month there has also been a new series called “Found” on Hulu who’s cover art I think is semantics pointing to the sun.

Before I go into more semantic of permission I actually think many people would be effected by the sun trying to communicate. It would come forth like cryptomnesia but instead of previously remembering it, it would be a thought given to you by Gaia, Blue, or the Sun. For a deeper understanding watch Yummi Yetti’s quick Tiktok on how the sun would likely communicate. This could be evidence of the sun trying to communicate like yummi yeti described, maybe a sentence takes a week so it’s really a feeling and for the most part we act out local atmospheric and celestial vibes without understanding it’s even affecting us. The result is a semantic communication that is overlooked but resonates within our collective conscious.

Keeping up with other cosmic luves. Selena Gomez just dropped a song called “Calm Down.” The song reminds me of my soon to be released song “Just Like You.”  In “Calm Down” she sings “Don't you ask, you know you're allowed, allowed,” seemingly giving permission. Selena is saying she can’t promise she’ll stay, consistent with the narrative from her (third) verse in my song cosmic love 2022. The song also has the lyrics “I see this fine girl, for my party, she wear yellow.” This is significant because Emma Watson is the girl in yellow for me. I talk about his in the Feburary 2020 Emma Watson Cosmic Love post. 

It’s worth mentioning that in a since deleted post from (probably) 2017 called “The Situation,” I talk about how the music industry was reflecting me and I remember one of the semantic being that the girl in Yellow from Charlie Puth’s “How Long” was (Selena pointing to) Emma Watson. It’s also worth mentioning that when it came out I thought Taylor Swift’s “Calm Down” was cosmic luve about me too.

Basically, Selena and Hailee have been acting as a vessel that leads me to Emma and ultimately Gaia. And by that I mean the cosmic luve semantics point to Emma. I’m also getting the vibe that, in this case, Hailee, Emma, and Selena represent the past, present, and future respectively. 

Besides the rhetoric from my cosmic luves about permission I have been trying to get permission from Marcus Lemonis for months. Basically I have a song based on Marcus Lemonis’s business philosophy called “the three p’s” from his show “The Profit.” I have been emailing him and messaging him on twitter for months to years with no response.

Basically I really need his permission and a picture for the song, and I also wanna know if he wants to sponsor a music video or would invest in a project. I have been thinking about this for years. Basically I want to meet him, so I’ve been thinking I would get couch surfers and hang out in the town he lives with the hopes of getting to know the locals and his employees to get him to respond. I basically don’t know how to approach him so he’s not offended, will hear me out, and potentially say yes.

So I’ve been thinking about this and then I saw Emma’s picture, where she doesn’t have make up on and you can see lines on her face with a pixie cut, and I though of Marcus’s wife Bobbi. It seems like the semantic are pointing me to try and get ahold of and ask permission from Bobbi. 

This is only difficult and an issue because I don’t have the money to travel. Of course if I had the money I wouldn’t be chasing Marcus, I would be chasing Emma. I would probably be in England trying to meet Emma but I don’t have the money. I’m trying to get to Marcus for a business deal so I can get the money to chase her.

To conclude, like the Charlie Puth lady in yellow picture, it’s worth mentioning that a local cosmic luve sent me a picture that made me laugh on my birthday. Yes I have local cosmic luves, but I just don’t talk about them because their not public figures like Hailee, Selena, or Emma. However, I want to explain the coincidence real quick because Gaia has basically been building off previous semantic and also interjected in this month’s evidence. 

I have since deleted the post but when I was in the throes of my schizophrenia I essentially said (in a treaetise about Hailee) that Hailee Steinfeld was semantically representing R. Miller in her song “Most Girls” specifically at 1:49. I dismissed this because I was severely mentally ill until I wanted to contact Master P. Basically I like Master P as a businessman and want to do business with him so I looked up his real name. Turn out his name is Percy Robert Miller. I immediately thought of R. Miller. 

If that wasn’t enough, and tying in with the theme and coincidences, Miller recently featured a picture on her social media of a beautiful sunflower. R Miller is a friend and I asked if she wanted to be tagged and a picture of her sunflower picture but she hasn’t responded. With the theme I wanted to ask for permission especially because I think her instagram is private. But keeping with the coincidences, another Michigan female influencer (Megan from Detriot) I follow went to a sunflower festival. And I came across this message about bugs in food featuring a sunflower.

Some other tid bits. “Get a job” is trending from Games We Play, which he has been all on TikTok promoting the song. This came out the same time I quit my job. I decided to “coast” because I’m a year ahead on releases and the song is about quitting your job to work on your music career. Beyonce also has lyrics about quitting your job in her new “Renaissance” album which recently came out. 

So basically we have permission or need it. The question now seems to be “do you care?” The “Vibe on the Wave” hook that is similar to Hailee Steinfeld coast is overshadowed and pointing to paradox and by that I mean I hope. Hope coming in the form of Emma‘s product release on my birthday with a theme of the sun, asking for permission, and the throwback lady in yellow. 

To end I’ll ask this question. What’s crazier? Someone contacting you because they love you and have something to offer? Or Having a blog that with with your theory about your love for them and never have tried to contact them? I try to contact my cosmic luve’s and the people I talk about here because I think it’s kinda hollow unless I try.

Until next time. Consider leaving a tip if you like this. Thanks for reading. 

Sun poem

I am you I made you When they say “you’re bright,” “you’re glowing”, or “you’re radiant” you can best be assured you got that from me

And I tell you this because I love you like the stars love rain Like the earths vibration through you I feel and share myself

Like the elements of my dead body combine to be the coalescence of life Then gave birth to the very carbon lifeforms that can understand what I am How I love you I cradled you in my bussum I watched you as you took your first steps How your curiosity as child made you a conquerer in your adolecense

And although you may deny it, you still feel the pain of war The gnawing agony for more And as the lover you take, do you not ask  Are you satisfied my dear? Or even ask? Satisfied from what?

Do you not understand that Like penguins bond over pebbles Or finches sing and dance I love you like the stars love rain 

Like from the bacteria in the gut  The colony you Excrete aromatically I would take you then Like the forest and fonna  The earth blackend by your burn I would take you then Like the mineral salt in the ocean Was acidified by your hand I would take you then Like you were the diseased I was helpless by your side And all I could do is weep Like rain, even still I would take you then

I am better because I got to hold you I nurtured you from nothing  And as a faithful dog greets you when you get home everyday. I will always be there for you In good times and bad In sickness and health I love you like the stars love rain You made this worth it Your sun

[therefugeofbooks]

July felt like an eternity! I made good use of the time, though, and finished a book with 600 pages! I haven't been reading big books so I'm glad I didn't dfn it. Overall, July was a mix of lightheaded reads and some dark ones.

Talking about all the books I read in July under the cut!

Hide and Seeker by Daka Hermon

Spooky! I liked the concept of the story, and the execution was pretty good. I can't get tired of kids saving the day and fighting the monsters and their fears. I was pleasantly surprised by all the turns the story takes and the end as well.

Read if you want: middle-grade horror, kids saving the day, a harmless play turned dark.

The Misadventures of an Amateur Naturalist by Ceinwen Langley (x)

I didn't like the first part of the book because of the pacing and lack of the magic and romance I was hoping for, but the second part is great! See my complete review of this book here.

Lady Killer Vol. 2 by Joëlle Jones and Laura Allred (x)

It's super fun! I loved the thriller and dangers that came with Josie's new situation and was shocked at the end! I'm even more curious to see where the story will head now.

Catherine House by Elisabeth Thomas

I loved the gothic atmosphere of the story, the seclusion, the cult things, the mysterious deaths. The dark academia vibes are on point! Nevertheless, I didn't feel hooked up in the mystery, and I didn't particularly care for the main character.

The Queer Principles of Kit Webb by Cat Sebastian

Oh, this was lovely! I loved the romance, the characters, and their backgrounds, and all the action of it. I liked the plot twists and the ending was really sweet.

Read if you want: adult mlm romance, historical fiction, planned thefts.

The Chosen and the Beautiful by Nghi Vo

It's been a long time since I read The Great Gatsby, so I vaguely recall what happened to compare with this book. Anyway, I liked that the protagonist is a Vietnamese girl and all her inner conflicts. The magic and its repercussions on the world were interesting, but I was not that interested in the story. Apart from Jordan, I thought the characters were annoying and didn't care for their conflicts. Also, the magic is sl fascinating but in was not a major focus.

Prince Lestat and the Realms of Atlantis by Anne Rice (x) (x)

So, I think I disliked it less than Prince Lestat because many things happen in this book. But I'm baffled by the new additions to the vampire lore. The consequences to the vampire as individuals are interesting, at least. I'm glad Lestat and Louis had a moment, in the beginning, to talk things through and are on good terms again.

Sasaki and Miyano Vol. 2 and Vol. 3 by Shou Harusono

The romance is super fluffy and lighthearted, and I needed something between some heavy reading. Super excited to read the next volume!

Read if you want: fluffy bl manga, school romance.

Crota by Owl Goingback

Scary! I haven't read a lot of horror about monsters but this one was super cool. It deals with indigenous legends and the cave hunting part was suffocating and scary! Just not a big fan of a disabled child getting cured at the end of the book, the kid is not the main character but it kind of put me off in the end.

Read if you want: horror with monsters, police procedure, indigenous legends.

As I Descended by Robin Talley (x)

This was pretty dark! The arc of corruption and madness was pretty well-done, and the characters made me want to read more and more. I read it for Disability Pride Month as the main character is disabled. I was glad that her arc isn't only about her disability while also mentioning her difficulties and people's prejudice.

Read if you want: spooky YA, queer retellings, Shakespeare retellings.

The Devotion of Suspect X by Keigo Higashino, tr. Alexander O. Smith

I'm not a big fan of police procedure, but this story is full of twists and turns that made me so curious about what would happen next! It's more of a mind game between the police and the killer than a thriller full of action, but it was an enjoyable read.

Read if you want: psychological thriller, police procedure.

Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows By Balli Kaur Jaswal

Super fun and thought-provoking! It deals with stories bringing a community together, women finding a space to share stories, and also a mystery in the middle of everything. One of my favorites of the month!

Read if you want: fun stories, book club books, contemporary fiction.

Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie (x) (x)

I took my time to read this book as it's a literary work, and it's very experimental. I liked the narration and the flow of the story. There're so many fascinating things about the story, the magic, the culture, India's history, and many others things. However, it's a long book. I was a bit tired at the end, but still, a great read.

Read if you want: literary and experimental fiction, magical realism.

The Other Black Girl by Zakiya Dalila Harris

The pacing of this thriller was slow, but I was interested in the diversity drama in Nella's work, so I was not bothered at first. But most of the main events happen right at the end, and the known villain does a "villain explaining their plan" that was a bit cartoonish. Also, the villain was only a part in the big scheme, and we don't get answers about this big thing happening. Still, there're some thought-provoking topics in this book, and the more "fantasy" aspect of it was super spooky.

Read if you want: slow-paced thrillers, psychological thrillers.

Ariel by Sylvia Plath (x)

I want to read more poetry, so I chose this one from the library. I enjoyed some poems and the images the writer created, but most of them fell flat for me.

Rereads:

Reborn! Vol 1 by Akira Amano, Frances E. Wall (translator)

Livros disponíveis em Português:

Links para os meus reviews no skook!

Baú de Sonhos Impossíveis de Filipe Bedendo (x)

De Repente Adolescente de vários autores (x) (x)

A Botija do Fantasma de Pablo Praxedes (x)

And feel free to talk to me about the books of this list :)

Read in: Feb | Mar | Apr | May | June |

☆Book Photography ☆ Storygraph ☆ Scribd ☆

[whatiwillsay]

who do you think holy ground is about? I kinda believe Taylor when she says it’s looking back on a love that was long gone and I think the liner notes point to Joe J. The lyrics definitely support the song being about a) the first big relationship she was in (for the first time I had something to lose) b) she wrote songs about this person (you fit my poems like a perfect rhyme) c) the relationship being long over (the story’s got dust on every page) (meaning it can’t be about Liz because she was on the speak now tour until the end)

I’m kinda obsessed with the idea of Joe Jonas being on the same amount of albums as Joe alwyn but I also don’t believe they were the kind of love described in holy ground so idk 🤷‍♀️

given that the song was written in February 2012 according to the lover diaries (this is supported by a 2012 copyright date matching that time frame), it is almost a certainty that it’s not about the red falling in love muse, the muse for treacherous, cbbh, and ehc.  there is at least one thematic similarity to those songs, yes, but the timeline just doesn’t reasonably allow for taylor writing a breakup song about the muse she’s hearing from on the second day that they don’t know her at all, that she’s only known for 18 hours - you get what i’m saying.

i do 100% believe taylor is telling the truth when she says it’s looking back at a long over relationship because that’s what the text of the song explicitly says

look at all the past tenseness of the song:

I was reminiscing just the other day...

Back to a first-glance feeling on New York time Back when you fit in my poems like a perfect rhyme

Took off faster than a green light, go I left a note on the door with a joke we'd made

And darling, it was good

And right there where we stood

We had this big wide city all to ourselves We blocked the noise with the sound of, "I need you" And for the first time, I had something to lose

And I guess we fell apart in the usual way And the story's got dust on every page

taylor’s story with the EHC muse does not have dust on it yet!  when she finishes EHC in may she barely knows this person she’s falling for - context clues are essential here.

the general hetlor consensus is that this is bout joe jonas and you guys know i’m undecided on him.  while it is an obvious pr set up it is possible that taylor developed feelings.  then again he has the “hallmarks of haylor” if you will - taylor publicly dragging him so much after they ended may have just been for the drama of it all.

there are things in this song that make me think it’s not about her short showmance with joe, however.

Took off faster than a green light, go Hey, you skip the conversation when you already know

^this does not sound like a showmance this sounds like a passionate fling, if she and joe did develop something real it still would have started out with plenty of conversation.  publicists and management would have been scheming.  this is something taylor jumped into, some kind of intense connection.  

We had this big wide city all to ourselves

^this sounds like LA

We blocked the noise with the sound of, "I need you"

^this is a pretty sensual line, especially for red era taylor.  joe jonas very famously did not sleep with taylor.  according to him, he lost his virginity after jaylor 1.0 ended to ashley green.  now of course they could have fooled around in other ways but it’s worth noting some of these lines just do not seem to match up to their dynamic.

i do think there’s a very good case to be made for liz huett being the muse.  when taylor wrote this the speak now tour was winding down, on its last leg.  liz was starting to seem a bit blue as the tour wrapped up. she had been tweeting songs about relationships that are ending. 

fans also notice that she’s looking down:

furthermore, some of liz’s lyrics seem to parallel this song - “it started with a bang, went all in” in stfu and hold me matches “took off faster than a green light go”

i think it’s fully possible taylor was reflecting back on her on and off tryst with liz.  @taylizmasterpost for more on that but if they did have something it was probably not a monogamous sunshine girlfriend/girlfriend situation.  they did jump into their friendship very quickly. liz hadn’t even officially joined taylor’s band and she was already showing up at Austin swift’s birthday party.  by early 2012 they would have known one another for six years and been through a lot of ups and downs.

the liner note for the song “when you came to the show in SD” could also match for liz (not that it entirely matters since taylor stunts in liner notes) given that liz and taylor met precisely because liz kept going to taylor’s shows!  if SD stands for san diego, liz being from California supports a connection to her at least loosely.

and yes, i know i know, “left a note on the door with a joke that we’d made” seems to match the joke taylor allegedly wrote out on dianna’s door at her 26th birthday but the timeline matters here.  again she wrote the song in February before that party in April and it’s looking back at something that’s over. swiftgron likely hasn’t even been on their first date yet.

you are right, however, that if joe jonas is a real muse then taylor puts him on fearless, speak now, and red which seems kind of ridiculous given they had a three-month showmance that was never even consummated but that may just be taylor’s cancer moon at work.  to me, a deeper connection would fit better - something that lasted a long time, someone taylor would have seen day in and day out, a situation that she would be reflecting on as her time with that person required by work wound down.  

if there’s a secret female muse liz is the best candidate but regardless all i really know is that it’s not about the falling in love muse of red - taylor is not writing breakup/reflective songs in feb 2012 about the muse she will later go on to pen cbbh and ehc about in late spring/early summer, she’s just not and that’s the final word on the matter.

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

'SighSwoon' merges self-care tips with hilarious memes on Instagram

Scrolling through @SighSwoon on Instagram is the equivalent of picking up a mysterious book at a thrift shop and falling into words that both enlighten and entertain.  

Gabi Abrao, a 24-year-old Los Angeles native, is the mind behind one of Instagram's shiniest hidden gems. SighSwoon showcases self-reflective memes and guides on how to feel things, whether it's simple pleasures or a broken heart. It’s a treasure trove of content tailored for millennials navigating creative lives. 

Sighswoon began in the summer of 2016, Abrao tells Mashable over email. Heartbreak and the desire to make some changes drove her toward the internet as a medium for creating and connecting with others, mainly through memes. With an ever-growing follower count of 62.3K, she's connected with a lot of people.

“When I share a realization online and see that thousands of people are going through the same thing, it makes me feel less alone, less hard on myself. I want people to feel this way too — understood, empowered,” Abrao explains. 

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Reminder that we’re all multi-faceted human beings and inner movements and conditions are subject to change constantly. There is no fixed condition. The more you do and the more you experience, the more understanding you will gain about your many facets and when they show up for you. There is so much to you - your capabilities, your moods, your modes. Being in one mode doesn’t make you in fixed opposition to the the other. There is no forever, there is no never. Fixation is an illusion. Change and shape-shifting is nature. After you understand your modes, you may get close to managing them. The gift of this will be synchronicity and balance. ** (Reposting myself from last October because this theme keeps showing up for me time and time again. Love this truth too much. Happy shapeshifting.)

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Apr 7, 2019 at 6:20pm PDT

The artist uses her platform to offer a plethora of self-care tips, from how to sunbathe ("a secluded location where you can get as naked as possible") to the best ways to "shapeshift," a visualization practice for when you're uncentered. Reading her is kind of like speaking to a caring physician who knows exactly what ails you and then gives you the perfect prescription, free of charge. 

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Three years ago, following a mildly devastating heartbreak, I dragged my mattress and box spring to the very center of the room and said, “I am a lush, self-sustaining island“. I slept in the center of the room for three days. That weekend, I took myself to a local playhouse. A 20-seat theater, the space was tiny and intimate. I arrived alone in a long black dress and proceeded to watch a stubborn man fall in love with an alien. The play was incredible, surprising, I cried. Once home, I felt ready for the luxury of leaning on a wall and shoved my bed back up against it. . . Later, ready for guests and no longer isolating, I thought of myself as a castle in the desert. “Grand for itself, wise for itself,” I wrote in a poem. In this new form, I was rejecting the need for outside validation, especially that of romantic partners. I imagined myself made of stone that remained cool, even at the highest noon. I imagined myself as an abundant whimsical structure in an environment lacking of. Sturdy and welcoming and independent. “Grand when you arrive, grand when you leave,“ I added to the poem. . . In a meditation class in high school, our teacher told us to pick our place. My teacher, who did past life regression on dogs, said, “Pick a place to be in. Just sit there and listen. Make room for visits from animals, insects, spirits.“ I settled for a giant warm boulder in the sun, next to a free-flowing river, surrounded by woods. A buffalo visited me that day, my eyes closed in a classroom. When things are neutral, when things are good, when things are great, I am the boulder in the sun by the river. Or I am laying on it. . . The house cat reminds me to stretch my body and take time in the sun. The house cat makes me not feel guilty for napping too long or staring at the traffic outside. The house cat reminds me to give myself permission to relax and take it slow.

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on May 2, 2019 at 7:19pm PDT

With so much to do and see online today, it can be difficult to slow your scroll and ask yourself how you're feeling. Abrao's hyper-aware content offers a mirror with which followers can take a nice, long look at themselves. The focus falls on subjects like self-worth, illusions, success, and creativity. She utilizes extensive captions to explain specific ideas in depth — or even just to describe a sunset.  

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me drinking the sunset on a hill overlooking the city. it’s incredible how some of the most impactful events occur in line with some of the most devastating. sometimes intensity is just intensity. i am living my dreams and aching simultaneously, and i’d be a fool to think this could ever be any other way. dual, shifting, unbelievably fair. i am so happy to still be here. when things feel gigantic, and the imagination builds tall tales to match the sensation, we can always return to water and sunshine.

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Mar 26, 2019 at 3:50pm PDT

“As a teenager, I used to do street art wheat paste posters around the city that said ‘sigh swoon sigh’ on them," Abrao says of her page’s unusual name. "It was a mini poem I made up and attached meaning to, and sharing it like that was a reason to run around and be bad. Years later, the phrase would come back around and feel like the most fitting title for what my page has become.”

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My Higher Self just whispered this to me and I was floored. May we recognize crossfire. May we recognize deliberate, aimed fire. May we protect ourselves first before engaging in any perceived battle.

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Mar 13, 2019 at 9:36pm PDT

The Sighswoon feed is aesthetically pleasing, everything kissed with a tint of beige. It's light and welcoming, which is exactly the way Abrao wanted it. She blames her fascination with the hue on her time spent at the beach: “I was renting a bed and a balcony in a living room for $500/month. The building’s stucco was beige, the cheap '90s carpet was beige, and the sand was beige. I think I just wanted to match everything.” 

SEE ALSO: I don't know who needs to hear this, but these memes are good

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tbt to the longest but purest #vintage #meme wrote this a year ago

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Feb 5, 2019 at 1:40am PST

“The cyborg in me recognizes the cyborg in you,” reads her bio, just above a link to her online store where she sells merch that features the saying on totes and sweatshirts. “It’s a claim to embracing the digital age,” Abrao explains, “the very human-meets-technology existence we all participate in, and are still wearily adapting to.” She admits that while it’s meant to be humorous, she also means it with her “whole heart." 

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my beloved cream crewnecks are now available! i got one sample made for photos are I absolutely adore it. sizes run a little big and on the “men’s” side of sizing. sweaters are made-to-order and will ship within two weeks. link in bio 🏹🏹 p.s. totes are still available in the shop and any orders made today before midnight will ship on thursday morning along with every order placed this past week. love a cozy cyborg

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Jan 29, 2019 at 1:41pm PST

With just about three years of memeing under her (beige) belt, Abrao has figured out the formula for making a solid one.

“A good meme is funny, relatable, insightful, and healing. In that order. You should laugh, then feel connected to the creator or others who understand it, then experience some introspect, then leave with a healed feeling from those three processes,” she muses. Her delivery method varies as she utilizes many different meme formats. 

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ok fine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Feb 5, 2019 at 10:30am PST

Occasionally, Abrao will post pictures of herself wearing interesting outfits made of neutral textiles and glowy silks. These portraits provide a face to the name (as well as maintaining her color-coded image). They also fuel fan encounters at her part-time book store gig: "A few times I have rung up a book, handed it to the person across the counter, and they’re just staring at me, and they say 'You make memes right?'"

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Years ago, I read a passage by an unknown source that said - “When you have an amazing day, take note of what you were wearing, what you ate, who you were with, what you did. Do the same with bad days.” This shirt is my absolute favorite of mine, and I’ve only had good days in it.

A post shared by GABI + MEMES (@sighswoon) on Apr 17, 2019 at 5:11pm PDT

Abrao just wants to help everyone chill out. "I aim for my page to be accessible, empowering, and soothing," she says. And she wants to keep it up for as long as possible. 

"I wish to continue my studies of the invisible and unseen — documenting my findings through paintings, writings, videos, memes, and other art forms," she says. Her end goal is literally out of this world: "I will operate a carousel in the desert some day, and I hope to re-spawn on another planet in my next life." 

In the midst of all the noise that is Instagram in 2019, Sighswoon provides a light-filled digital oasis, a faraway page that's easy to get lost on. Be careful, though. You might just walk away feeling refreshed and renewed. And with an affinity for beige. 

WATCH: Nickelodeon releases official SpongeBob meme figures

[furymint]

2018 Creator Reflection

I picked out my fav pieces from this year like I did last New Years! Lots of rambles abt them all beneath the cut.

January: Miners is one of my fav poems ever--I think I did it some justice. Owen swapped the poem’s meaning from the mine collapse to the war-dead but both apply to Nol so it works perfectly. Fake lighting is rough but I learned a rly efficient (if layer-heavy) technique for it here.

February (one / two): I had to pick two here since both of them always stayed with me. I think the image speaks volumes of them with Nol violently ripping apart these grimy shells while Elliot’s sitting on needles with a dainty white box of pastries. For the second, I know I pick on Nol a lot, but this was one of the key turning points for him. And I used to obsess over his breath--I still do tbh--but here’s where that motif came back in full force.

March: I wanted to make smth soft after Feb’s dark contrast, and Keats gives me the best excuses tbh. At this point, I was really into giving white strokes and painting shadows onto my edits bc art nouveau is such a mood. I think this is also when I started lightening up abt just representing Nol and Eli’s romantic relationship on my blog. I still get nervous abt sharing but I think my best work still comes from them together.

April: I honestly had way too much fun writing this and I still have leftover purple prose lines sitting in my drafts from it. I’d forgotten how to write them until this prompt woke the skill back up in me. Tbh I still go back to it when I need to remember. Also rivi wrote me this in return and I’m p sure cry everyday abt it bc her writing is so beautiful

May: Fam I love this song sm. I rushed to finish this edit and then revisited it a few months ago to adjust the blur n such. It’s probably the most complicated thing I’ve ever edited. The lyrics fit so well with how Nolanel just vice-grips things to hold himself together, so I put the dragoon for war, Elliot for Elliot lol, and the flag/rosary for faith and country. Each of these things conflict and form the core of his struggle as a person.

June: I think smth possessed me when I made this--I started with no idea where I was going and suddenly I had this really beautiful sprawl of light and dark. I think Sae is really fascinating and complex n im glad I got to know the rad person behind her more this year!

July: I spent several days on this and the whole thing is a blur in my memory. I put Nol on the altar on purpose since he’s the more “holy” of the two/has done less wrong, but mostly since he’s the one who gets the most out of these moments away from the world. Elliot still has outside thoughts n he’s not as relaxed, but Nol’s hand on him is kind of all the reassurance he needs. I gotta finish editing the whole album one of these days, too.

August (one / two): I think both of these give a brief impression so I picked them. The one about the rosary I find impactful and genuinely cold--I used to get censured by classmates for being too dramatic in the emotional sense (at this point, too bad). As for the second, I was really not feeling well around that time, and finding The Heart’s Journey in school rly got me out of it for a few hours. I think the edits themselves are a bit awkward but I’m fond of the composition anyway and of what I tried to make.

September (one / two): I barely ever think of Elliot younger than seventeen, so fourteen yo Eli crashing into my thoughts w a Calamity flashback was such a sucker-punch. I’m so in love with his rashness and with Jos at the end. As for the edit, it recreated by accident the everybody-cry-on-the-floor (idk if this is mood or goals) pose when Nol proposes--I still dislike the scene but I felt a little better abt it after this (slapping a Pogany heart into it helped)

October: can i just AAAAAAAAAAAAA abt this bc that’s my author’s note (i failed writing smth happy w no strings attached but it reveals some rly intense n important parts and issues in their relationship that i rly loved expressing finally)

November: (one / two) OK i had to pick two from this month because these go together for Armistice Day. It takes within 2 seconds of knowing me to learn that 99% of my braincase is filled w thoughts on war poetry n war culture, etc, will smith poses at my like 8 soldier characters. I still think of Nol as a ltn so it was really cool to approach some of his interaction w his company as a loveable? mob.

December (one / two): I made both of these as leveplates! I’ll post versions w the frames once I figure out making more of them. I’ve attempted stained glass before and it doesn’t usually come out well--I stick to the art nouveau sort of borders much more. Using super saturated colors was new, esp w Nol, but I really love both of their poses (which, for once in my life, I didn’t have to combine 4 pictureS to achieve).

[scoobiesminyard]

If you asked any member of the Losers Club about who the biggest romantic in the group was, they would all immediately answer Ben Hanscom. He wrote love poetry for gods sake! He listened to George Michael and Whitney Houston! (He had attempted to hide this slightly embarassing fact, but he underestimated how goddamn snoopy Richie could be). He may have said that he only agreed to watch When Harry met Sally to appease Bev, but the others knew better. He was, put simply, a huge romantic.

Ben loved strongly and purely, and he liked to express that love through his poetry. It was slowly but surely improving, or at least he said. They wouldn’t let anyone read it. Not since last summer.

It had been months since the poem had been left in Bev’s bag. Months since she realised that it was him who had done it. Months since they had softly said the words to each other... and in those months, nothing had happened. They hadn’t kissed, hadn’t held hands or gone on a date (except in Bens daydreams). They hadn’t even talked about it. The only explanation was that Bev didn’t feel the same way (understandably, she was so beautiful and so funny and so strong and he was so.... not) and she was just trying to avoid hurting his feelings. How could he expect anything differently? He wasn’t worthy of her. Not like Bill. Not like brave, handsome Bill... It was days like this that he listened to sadder songs, wrote more negative poems. He felt his heart aching in his chest as he looked at Bev. He would wish miserably that he didn’t love Bev.

But then Bev would look at him, with that glint in her eye. She would laugh at him- no with him, never at him- and she would smile so damn bright. She would bump up against him or listen to him speak with patience, before interrupting to say what was on her mind. It was when they were lying on the grass of the Barrens cloudwatching lazily or she was jitterbug dancing with Richie until they collapsed with laughter, that he knew Bev was the best part of his life. He had loved her since she signed his yearbook, when she became the first person in this school, in any school to really care about him, He didn’t care if she didn’t love him back because she didn’t owe him anything. Bev smoking in silence, Bev smiling at him, Bev cycling around him, Bev tickling him, Bev crying in his arms. She was the best person he had ever known.

And Ben couldn’t hide how absolutely lightheaded he felt around her. The others had known for absolutely ages. It was just an unspoken thing- Ben is whipped for Bev. Bev’s feelings are unclear. Then again, her thing with Bill never went anywhere. Ben had rubbed his sweaty palms against his shorts as Bill told them that he and Bev, whatever they were, were over and would just be friends from now on. Bev seemed happier after that. She didn’t need a guy. She was fine on her own. She didn’t need Ben.

Ben would probably have left things like that for the rest of his life if it was up to him. The silent pining, the confused feelings, the angst of it all. He had already made a move, he thought. He had made his feelings clear that summer and everyday since. And with no result. Anything further would probably be weird and creepy. Things were fine the way they were. Richie felt differently.

"Benjamin my good fellow, I have to make some inquiries” Richie said in his British guy voice, looking at him sternly.

They were walking to the library, where they often studied (well, Ben studied and Richie tried to distract him). It was a January afternoon and it was absolutely freezing. He was wrapped up in a scarf, hat and thick coat but Richie was seemingly fine wearing a denim jacket. He was unfazed by everything. How annoying. Ben was used to Richie’s antics by now and just sighed.

“Whats up Richie?” “I have to ask my good fellow... what are your intentions with Miss Marsh?”

Ben nearly walked into a streetlamp.

“Wh-What? What are you talking about?”

Richie scoffed and slung his arm around Ben's shoulder. This was awkward, considering the height difference (Richie was starting to shoot up like a bean pole) but Richie continued speaking.

“I mean, its absolutely ridiculous how long you two have been iffing about. Its 1990 my good sir! A whole new year, a whole new decade! Its time to get a move on- its almost Valentines day” Richie said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Ben waited a moment and thought about Richie’s words. He never thought he would say this but maybe Richie was right? He could try again, really lay things on the line, be honest-

Ben shook his head. What was he thinking? He couldn’t risk making things more awkward, ruining their friendship. ‘Bev already knows’ he reminded himself. ‘You’re just gonna make her uncomfortable and force her to reject you properly’

He said as much to Richie, who scoffed again.

“Oh, pish posh! Benny boy, Bev is my best friend. I know her okay? She never shuts up about you when we’re smoking. She listens to the same crappy songs you do. She always defends you when I call you a nerd-“

“Hey!”

“and I really don’t know what the girl is waiting for. She still has your poem by her bed, you know. She likes you. And you like her. Maybe she’s waiting for you to ask her again so she can tell you the right answer this time. Romance is a mystery to me. I just hump em and dump em, you know me. But you need to get a move on and get ready to sweeeeeeeeepp her off her feet on Valentines!”

Ben, still processing Richie’s words, stayed silent as they walked in the library doors. Mrs Clarke scowled.

“Mr Tozier. Here again.”

Oh, you couldn’t keep me away from this dusty, cold, silent room full of old books if you tried. Which I know you have. And yet here I am!” Richie said cheerily and steered Ben toward the tables before Mrs Clarke could scold him for insolence.

“You gotta do the damn thing on Feb 14th, handsome. Life is too short” Richie hissed.

“Oh really? Well, I’ll seize the day if you do”

Richie frowned. “Whats that supposed to mean?”

“Oh please. You're smart but I'm smarter. You’re not the only one with eyes and I am not the only one who has a flaming crush on a fellow loser”

Richie, eyes wide behind his glasses, was seemingly stunned into silence and buried himself in a comic he brought from home. His cheeks were tinted red behind the pages. It was very amusing to see him shown up for once. Ben would usually have used this opportunity to actually study in silence for once but his mind had never been further from academics. All he could think about Bev....

And now, all because of that wretched conversation, he was sealing his doom. He was seizing the day. He was getting a move on. He was asking Bev out. On Valentines day. When she said no, kindly but firmly, it was going to crush him. Yet, here he was by her locker. Flowers in his hand and irrational, stupid hope in his heart.

He heard Bev before he saw her. He squared his shoulders and took a deep breath when he heard her laugh echoing down the halls. He would follow that laugh down a cliff, into the sewers, into the very gates of hell. She rounded the corner with Richie, fresh off their morning smoke. She was wearing jeans and a baby blue jumper, her hair freshly washed and beautiful like always. Richie was smacking a kiss on her cheek and she was rolling her eyes in disgust, but her giggling was giving her away. Her eyes landed on him, blushing already and holding flowers as nice as he could buy. She stopped laughing. Richie grinned and started walking away, giving Ben the thumbs up. He was gonna have to kill him after this.

Because Bev didn’t look happy at all. She looked surprised, and a bit worried. She walked slowly toward him and gave a smile that didn’t look too genuine. Ben's heart sank to his toes. This was not going to end well.

“Are these for me?” Bev asked softly. “Y-yes. Happy Valentines Day, Beverly. I was wondering if-if you wanted to, to maybe-“

“Gotta go! Bathroom! See you later!” Bev interrupted, panic clear on her face before she ran in the opposite direction to Ben- and the girls bathrooms. Ben gaped after her for a few seconds before lifting a hand to wave goodbye. By then, she was whipping around the corner out of sight.

Ben couldn’t believe what had just happened. He hadn’t been that confident sure but he thought the worst case scenario would be Bev telling him clearly that she just didn’t feel the same way and she just wanted to be friends. And now it seemed like she was so horrified with him that they would never be friends again. Ben felt tears welling up in his eyes.

“Fuck you Richie Tozier” he muttered and wiped his eyes. He had to get his books and get to the bathroom before anyone saw him crying. The bullying situation had gotten a lot better recently and he didn’t want to change that, especially not today. He ran to his locker, his vision blurry with tears (“stop crying you useless lump” he said angrily to himself with no result) and threw it open-

It was then that a box of chocolates fell out of the locker and hit Ben square on the head, It hurt. A lot.

“What the- can this day get any worse?” Ben muttered bitterly before freezing. Now what exactly was a box of chocolates doing in his locker in the first place? He scrambled to pick it up and stared at it in amazement. There was a note attached.

“My mam used to say that the best way to a mans heart is through his stomach. I personally think poetry is much more effective but I’m not much of a writer. I don’t know how to say this well so I’ll just say it badly. I like you. A lot. you want to catch a movie later? Eat hazelnut for yes, caramel for no. Yes I know you hate caramel, that's the point. Bev x”

Ben had at some point sank down on to the floor of the school, holding the box and note in front of him and staring in awe. He read it again. And again. And again. It didn’t start seeming real. He quickly pinched himself but things didn’t start making more sense. This was real. Bev had-

“Eddie would have a heart attack if he saw you sitting in that nasty floor, you know”

Ben tore his eyes away from the single ‘x’ to see Bev standing in front of him, smiling shyly. She hesitated and extended her arm to him. Ben stared at her for a minute before gulping and taking her hand. Her skin was so soft but when she pulled him up, he felt how strong she was. He didn’t let go of her hand. She didn’t seem to mind.

“I’m sorry for being rude before.” Bev whispered, with a small smirk. “I just- I’ve been planning this for ages. And it was my turn to make a move. I didn’t think you would-and i just wanted to-“

“I wasn’t going to. Definitely no” Ben admitted and Bev looked a little taken aback.

“Why’d you do it then?”

“Richie, he convinced me that maybe I had a chance... I guess he isn’t so stupid after all”

“I disagree! He almost ruined everything! I’m gonna tell him that Eddie likes Stan instead I swear to god, the meddling oaf-“ Bev fumed.

Ben watched her mini rant with a smile. She really had asked him out. She really did like him back. He couldn’t believe it. He didn’t think he ever would.

Ben squeezed her hand. “The answer is yes, by the way. A million times yes. I would eat 10 thousand hazelnut swirls if it meant I could go out with you’

Bev’s eyes crinkled as she beamed. This was better than Ben had ever imagined. This was real. And this was really, really romantic.

[dstrachan]

DONALD STRACHAN ON THE RADIO – 'TRACKS OF THE MONTH' 2020 – FOUND POEM (from lyrics)'

At the end of the year it has become customary for me to look back over my selections for 'track of the month' over the year.  Last year as I prepared to play all of them in sequence during my last show of the year I felt moved to look more closely at the lyrics and try to create a found poem*   I believe that the end result worked and so I had another go this year.  Here is the result of my analysis of this year's lyrics – I now wonder what I might come up with at the end of 2021.  

All you need is the power of your mind, in this mess we have forgotten, who we are, and yes there will be sacrifice to make.

Life is but a journey, a labyrinth of tos and fros, a ship on sometimes, troubled waters, destination unknown.

I've been down, I've been low, I've been places you'll never go.

But when I felt like giving up, I faught my heart; no I can't do that.

I'm taking my life back – and I'm gonna rise like a phoenix from the ashes.

I'm gonna rise so high I can almost touch the sky.

Suddenly I can't breathe, I can't stand.

With my love wearing thin, I understand.

I can get up out of bed and I can clean up.

If I unwind in my own time, will panic remain?

It's the little white lies that hurt the most;

holding on tight but just chasing ghosts.

Counting down the days for this to end;

no more secrets it's game over.

A future unknown, but oh how I've grown.

I come from the past, and present milestones.

My loves, my dreams, my plans, my schemes.

I feel the world is at my feet; I'm lost in time, lost in time.

Working through my lunch break and I dream of 9 to 5,

But my boss is on my back so I'll do 9 to 9.

And I'm working in the evening and I'm working on the train,

while my boss is on the golf course working on his game.

Every breath we change and watch the rising tide,

is this the end of all I've ever known?

Don't hold back the tide, don't fight from the inside;

the wind of change is burning in your eyes.

I've got ice water in my veins , throwing a swift curve-ball.

Too much talk, this ain't a run, it's marathon.

Put your eye on the ball when it's in your court.

Dropping balls, missing goals, do you even play this sport?

Old white men have had their turn, thousands of years what have we learned? It's about time to care for the living. Time to stop blaming and start forgiving.

There is no rhyme or reason with each changing season,

the mood goes up or down, it's either a smile or frown that you wear upon your face.

With winter comes the cold, when sadness will take hold,

I'll reach down touch your heart, give it a jump start.

We're just these shapes we're bones with flesh,

moving through time and space.

We've all been bored with each step,

we're taking it day by day.

Watch your back you'll never know, who's your friend just for show.

Scandal scandal locker room talk;

build the lies into a wall, one mistake your whole world falls;

think you're so slick but you're toxic

** First lyrics for 2021 =

“I wanna see the whole damn world.  One crossroad can change it all. ”

For reference here is a list of these tracks along with links to videos of each (I also include numbering to indicate these tracks place in the totality of my previous 'tracks of the month'; last year when I first attempted this exercise I did wonder if I should go right back to the start and look to create another found poem from them all? Still on my 'to do list'!)

86/ Jan 2020 Livia 'Natural High'

87/ Feb 2020 L Perry 'I'm Gonna Rise'

88/ Mar 2020 Stillhound 'Dreamed Up'

79/ Apr 2020 Tiger Lilly 'Game Over'

80/ May 2020 Reely Jiggered 'Lost In Time'  at 19.30

81/ Jun 2020 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIP4ye4CY-c

82/ Jul 2020 Morph The Cat 'Shapes'

81/ Aug 2020 Dream Wife 'Sports!'

82/ Sep 2020 Jefferson Starship 'It's About Time'

83/ Oct 2020 Blue Moon Harem 'All In Your Head'

84/ Nov 2020 Kev Howell 'Arrows'

85/ Dec 2020 Torrey Mercer 'Hate Spree'

*Found poetry is a type of poetry created by taking words, phrases, and sometimes whole passages from other sources and reframing them (a literary equivalent of a collage) by making changes in spacing and lines, or by adding or deleting text, thus imparting new meaning. The resulting poem can be defined as either treated: changed in a profound and systematic manner; or untreated: virtually unchanged from the order, syntax and meaning of the poem.

[createdbyangels]

Big News!

I wrote a (very long winded) post back in April (mostly for myself) that eventually got into the details of how we got on the path to this big news we have to share.  You can find that here if you desire.

To summarize - the idea of adoption has been on the table for me and James since before we had Corbin.  James was adopted and once we starting dealing with infertility, it became an obvious part of our conversations. We both decided that it was something we’d still like to discuss in the future, even once we were able to get pregnant.  But every time it came up (a few times a year) there was a reason that it wasn’t the right time and it would get tabled.  Finally, last November(ish) we decided it was time to make the decision once and for all.  It was making me super anxious to think about adopting as a “maybe” or a “future” or an “abstract”.  Are we doing this or are we not??  I had a long list of reasons why we probably shouldn’t. 

James had a solution for each issue on my list.  So....we’re doing this?  Now what?  Adoption can be very expensive and there are about a billion different avenues/options/places to start.  But our conversation landed on exploring adoption from the foster care system.  I really wasn’t sure because there was no way my heart could handle foster-anything but I looked up some info for Wake County and found they held an informational meeting once a month. 

And then my back went out. And our dog had just died. And I ended up needing surgery. And even after surgery was worthless for a month. And let’s keep adding reasons why this just isn’t a good idea.  It’s too hard. But (as detailed in my April post), despite all of the things making it hard, it kept feeling like a thing we were supposed to pursue.  So, even though we missed the December and January info meetings, we were going to that Feb meeting - come hell or high water.  And the issues came even the day of the meeting - but we got there.  And spoke to someone with Children’s Home Society and decided that night to start the application process with them.  It was a slow start - and they asked SO.MANY.QUESTIONS.  But we sat and we discussed and I typed and we pulled out old documents and I typed some more and we joined live meetings via my laptop in our bedroom with the door closed while the kids ate dinner, and I typed some more.  Our preliminary application was accepted and we moved on to in person interviews (at their office off Six Forks which may as well be in NY as far as it is from our house), a RIDICULOUS amount of further questions and paperwork and an invitation to the June/July TIPS=MAPP classes since April was full.  So we spent the better part of March/April/May doing things like going down to the jail to be fingerprinted, requesting DMV records, marriage and divorce certificates (WITH SEALS...for them to keep), making doctor appointments ETC ETC ETC x infinity.

I also needed to arrange a very unique childcare situation because our classes were Tuesday and Thursday for 6 weeks from 6pm-9pm at the aforementioned Six Forks office.  James came straight from work (the church) and I came from home where I’d made dinner for everyone (including James...I packed his up and brought it with me), gotten the kids started at the table and prepped everything for bedtime by the time our preplanned sitter arrived at 5:15 so I could race out the door.  It was bonkers but we made it work from June 11-July 16 (and then had one more class on Saturday July 20).  We also took CPR/first aid training, prepped our house for a fire inspection (complete with mounted fire extinguishers upstairs and down, a fire ladder under Corbin’s bed and framed, hand drawn fire escape plans upstairs and down) and kept our life going at the same time.

I need to change gears here for a minute.  When we started these classes, our intent was to adopt a child out of foster care.  I didn’t think for a second my heart could handle fostering a child whom we might “lose” after developing a bond.  But, per the theme of this whole adventure, I’m not in control nor do I have any idea what is best for us or anyone else.  So, during these classes, James and I both realized that foster care is a beautiful and important thing.  As is reunification between a child and his/her biological family.  For a child to come up for adoption in the foster care system, a family has to be broken apart.  Irreparable damage must have been done in order for a child to not be able to return to his/her family.  So as heartbreaking as it would be to say goodbye to a child we’d developed a bond with, how much more heartbreaking would it be for them to not ever be able to return to their family?  So,  throughout our six weeks of classes, our conversations and our intentions shifted.  We are here to become a foster family.  Who will also be a family that has done the necessary work to adopt a child, should the need arise.  And we bought 2 new beds and changed my office into the “new kids room” as our kids like to call it. And bought a minivan (MUCH.TO.MY.CHAGRIN.) to accommodate new little people.

Back to June/July.  Lots of plates - all spinning at once.  But we made it through and on July 27th some incredible friends gathered at our house to help us celebrate the milestone of completing our classes.  They showered us with gift cards to use once we got a placement and prayed with us in the “new kids room”.  The prayer I wrote for that occasion will be at the end of this post. We thought that by September - MAYBE early October, we’d be certified.  But, once again, we hurried up to wait.  And wait. and wait.  Not sure why it took so long but our application was finally submitted for internal review the week of October 28th and sometime that week it was sent to the state for review.  And as of today, 11/18/19, the Driscolls are a licensed foster family in the state of NC for 1 or 2 children.  If 2, they will likely be same-sex siblings as they will share a room.

There is so much more to say but that is the details about this announcement. I’ve been saying for a long time that I feel a strong urge to DO SOMETHING.  To change things.  To be a better version of myself.  And this is us stepping up and doing something.  There are roughly 12,000 children in foster care in NC...IN NORTH CAROLINA.  ONE STATE. And the number of foster homes in NC is a fraction of that number.  So we are stepping out, trusting God’s plan, and opening our home to children who need a safe place to fall during the hardest days of their lives.  And, as with most things people do to help, we will likely gain just as much from these children as they do from us.

So while this part of our journey has reached its conclusion and we are FINALLY LICENSED - the journey itself is just beginning.

Here is the poem I wrote when we prayed over the “new kids room” Lord, bless this room, And those it will hold Send extra care For their tender souls. Catch every tear That falls from their eyes Hear every word They are brave enough to cry Remind them of who You made them to be Strong, smart, wonderful Fearlessly unique Everyone has a story Only You know it complete But for those days our stories intersect Whether many or few Lord help us to be a reflection of You. God bless this room And those it will hold May each day they stay here Make them a bit more bold. We pray they will feel The love You provide And know that they're special In so many eyes Lord bless this room And those it will hold Wrap them up in Your love Please don't ever let go.

[twh-news]

Tom Hiddleston takes a break from it all | INQUIRER

By: Ruben V. Nepales

“I have been working very hard for the last five or six years, back to back. I just needed to take a moment to catch up with myself a bit,” explained the usually busy actor, Tom Hiddleston, as to why he had not been working for the past few months.

Even though he doesn’t have to wear Loki’s tight leather costume these days, Tom looks fit, perhaps even slimmer than the last time we saw him in costume, long hair and all, on the “Thor: Ragnarok” set in Australia last October.

Tom donned a simple all-black Gucci ensemble, with shirt sleeves rolled up, complementing his trim physique in our recent encounter at The Ritz-Carlton in downtown Los Angeles.

“I was lucky enough to recently work with Gucci, who lent me clothes to wear on these occasions,” he said with a grin.

No one grins like Tom does—his entire face lights up in seemingly unabashed sudden joy.

Saying he’s been taking it easy at his London home “for the last four months,” Tom added, “The kitchen is looking like it needs a few repairs. I have been away from home for a while. It’s nothing major. I’m just having a breather.”

The second of three children of a Scottish physical chemist and a British arts administrator shared how he had been spending time away from sets. “I spend time with my family and friends. I have been reading a lot. There is virtually no anxiety that can’t be cured by an hour or two of good reading.

“And I have just been doing my things and bits around the house. I’ve been away for a long time for about three or four years. Catching up with my good friends and my family has been really nice.”

The recent Golden Globe winner for TV’s “The Night Manager” interrupted his time off to promote “Kong: Skull Island,” a surprisingly enjoyable popcorn movie, thanks to Jordan Vogt-Roberts’ direction.

In his first major feature, Jordan pays homage to “Apocalypse Now,” “Godzilla,” “Jurassic Park” and monster movies, and crafts an entertaining commercial movie. This time, Kong is not the only monster in the story set in 1971 and shot in Vietnam, Hawaii and Australia.

Tom charms his way through the movie which also stars Brie Larson, Corey Hawkins, John C. Reilly, Tian Jing, Samuel L. Jackson, Toby Kebbell and John Goodman.

The Wimbledon-raised actor, who turned 36 last Feb. 9, gambled on working with Jordan, whose only film directing credit was 2013’s “The Kings of Summer,” a coming-of-age comedy. He directed mostly TV series.

But Tom came on board after Jordan pitched his ideas for “Kong: Skull Island.” “I met Jordan in October 2014,” Tom recounted. “He came down to Nashville. I was getting ready to play Hank Williams in ‘I Saw the Light.’ We spent Friday night in a diner, just talking about the movies we loved as children—‘Indiana Jones’ and ‘Jurassic Park.’

“Jordan’s pitch was brilliant. It was the idea of making a Kong movie that feels like an old-fashioned adventure to a deserted island. But it also has this fresh, contemporary edge with political and social resonance, wrapping up this theme about the power and majesty of nature.

“We’ve been developing this together for two years, going through several drafts of the script, other actors coming on board, dreaming up this film for a long time. Jordan has done a wonderful job.”

Still on directors, Tom is also impressed with Damien Chazelle’s achievement in “La La Land.” He was glad to personally congratulate the filmmaker. “I was happy to be able to tell Damien that in person.”

“How hard have I pursued anyone (a director)?” Tom asked aloud. “I was not shy about letting Kenneth Branagh know how much I wanted to play the part of Loki for the first time.”

Whether he’s working with Kenneth or Jordan, the man who dated singer Taylor Swift last year said that music always inspires him on and off the set.

Said Tom, who studied the classics at University of Cambridge (he also attended Eton College and the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art): “There’s a phrase that sticks in my mind, by renaissance essayist Walter Pater, who said, ‘All art aspires to the condition of music.’ Music is the highest art form, the most immediately evocative and inspiring. It has the power to change our internal makeup.

“If you have had a stressful day, and you listen to beautiful music, it can lift you out of your anxiety and it can heal and transform. I have always loved all kinds of music. In fact, whenever I play a character, I always have a different playlist. For this (‘Kong’), I listened to a lot of scores and early 1970s Rolling Stones and Creedence Clearwater Revival.”

He’d “love to be a better musician. I am not technically adept. I am a competent rhythm guitarist, but only because of playing Hank (Williams, in ‘I Saw the Light’). I play the piano for myself when I have the time.”

On his “Kong” costar Brie also joining the Marvel Cinematic Universe as Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel in “Avengers: Infinity War,” Tom sounded enthusiastic: “We have talked about making those films. I do think Kevin Feige (producer) and the producers at Marvel Studios are smart about invigorating every character with a unique tone.

“So Thor (Chris Hemsworth) and Loki have this thing, and I am sure Captain Marvel will have her own backstory. When Brie works with the director, they will find a common language. I am looking forward to it as much as you are.”

At our screening of “Kong,” the audience cheered the relevance of John Goodman’s line, “This is the craziest time in Washington,” amid the buffoonery of the Trump administration. Asked about his own “craziest time,” Tom answered, “Difficult to pick one —nothing stays the same, nothing stands still.”

He alluded to this Trump era: “This point in history is destabilizing for lots of us because it’s difficult to truly determine what is true and what isn’t. But inside the ambiguity, we have to be kind to each other as we move forward.”

Blessed with a soothing, rich voice, Tom said he’d jump at the chance to voice an animation movie character.

Tom’s fans have already reacted rabidly upon hearing him voice a “Planet Earth II” trailer.

When Tom was asked to read math equations on BBC Radio 1, the host reportedly quipped, “It’s really educational and slightly erotic.”

Tom’s reading of E. E. Cummings’ poem, “May I Feel Said He,” in Allie Esiri’s app, “The Love Book,” is also drawing similar reaction. “It’s incredibly sexy, you almost have to go into a quiet room … it’s almost pornographic!” Allie was quoted as saying.

“A friend of mine asked me if I wanted to read some poetry with great actors—Helena Bonham Carter, Bill Nighy, Damian Lewis and Helen McCrory,” he said about the app available on iTunes. “I love poetry. Poetry is such a beautiful and ancient art form, and it’s very simple. Spending a couple of days reading poetry aloud is very easy.”

Someday, that voice will be heard again in a play. “I love the theater,” he stressed. “It will always be a part of my life. I do have some plans to go back. For as long as I am an actor, I will always have a contact with the theater. It’s not something I feel like I will ever abandon.”

[sincerelysaraahh]

Hey beautiful people!! Guess what? 

Valentines day is coming!! A day of love. 

So I decided to do some cute, fluffy maybe some smutty/angsty fics for you guys, this up coming month!! I made a list of Drabbles and AU’s for you guys. Send me your picks and I’ll do my best to get them done!! I have my babyshower next weekend so from now until then, I am super busy. But after, I should be free!! 

And on Valentines day, I will pick 5 users for a lengthy personalized love letter from any character/celebrity of their choosing!

But first, the rules to enter the personalized love letter;

-Must be following me. (I will check)

-Reblog this post to get the word out! (likes to bookmark)

-Fill this survey out

-Must have ask OPENED or will not qualify. 

You have until Feb. 1st at 11:59 Pacific time to enter. 

If you want to send drabble/au requests, here’s the list! 

AU’s

1. First date but everything goes wrong and it’s frustrating and on top of that, it rains! Will it turn out better by the end? 2. You are invited to your best friends Valentine’s Day party! And with your boyfriend just dumped you a week before! Now your best friend places you at the singles table and looks like there’s only a few of you. Great. 3. Everyday since the month began, someone leaves a rose on your doorstep with a cute poem inside. You try to catch the secret admirer but never do. Until one day you can home early from work and there he is, with a box of chocolates this time. 4. Your best friend decides to set you up on a blind date. Too bad you owe her a favor or you would cancel. When you get there, the guy becomes a total douche and is everything you thought he’d be. So after the date, you call your best friend to vent. Saying you never want to see him again. But since he’s your best friends husbands friend, you aren’t that fortunate. (Based off life as we know it) 5. You had just been stood up and decided to call your best friend to come get you. Even though he had plans with a girl he was starting to date, he dropped everything he was doing to get you. But the night is still young and he didn’t want you to be alone especially on Valentine’s Day, so he took you back to his place for an “anti love” night which turns into something different. 6. New neighbor AU 7. You’ve never had a valentine in your life but your best friend wants to break that curse. She forces you out to a club/party and tries to find you a guy to spend the rest of the night with. But she fails when almost every guy there is either taken or a total fuck boy. Until she bumps into an old friend. Small world. 8. You ask your best friend to pretend to be your boyfriend for your sisters couples dinner party. 9. Your coworkers threw a Valentine’s Day party at the office. Everyone is either married or with their significant other, except you. You noticed your boss’ light was on in his office. You tried to get him to join the party but he is too busy and declines. So you decide to join him and help him get his work done faster so he can enjoy the rest of the night. Being alone with him was new to you. Shit, you have feelings for your boss now. 10. You have been best friends with (insert name) since elementary school, and have always been each other’s wingman. Always going to one another for advice. You are both taken this Valentine’s Day and omg, your BF just proposed to you! The first person you tell is your best friend but for some reason he doesn’t seem too happy about it.

Drabbles;

11. “Kiss me, quick.” 12. “Are you wearing my shirt?” 13. “I know I’m drunk, but you’re beautiful.” 14. “Okay, am I drunk or did you really just say that?” 15. “I’m too sober for this shit.” 16. ”They don’t like dogs. It wasn’t going to work out.” 17. ”This is an apology pizza. Please take it or I will start crying right here.” 18. “You are ridiculously comfortable…” 19. “I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with…” 20. “You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…” 21. “You’re beautiful, you know that?” 22. “I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it” 23. “Do you need me to kill someone for you?” 24. “To the night you’ll never remember!” 25. “Could I sit here? All the other tables are full.” 26. “You weren’t supposed to laugh! I’m so embarrassed!” 27. “That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.” 28. “All nighter, you and me. First one to fall sleep buys the other dinner.” 29. “I don’t think I’ve ever played spin the bottle.” 30. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to touch your butt.” 31. “You know we’re suppose to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.” 32. “When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Specially then!” 33. “If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are we doing anyway?” 34. “I dare you!” 35. “It’s you, it’s always been you.” 36. “Well this is awkward…” 37. “Just pretend to be my date”. 38. “I’m in love with a woman that is not my wife/girlfriend/fiancé!” 39. “Out of all the people in the world, I get stuck with you.“ 40. “You’re going to love me. Watch, you’ll see.”

[angocanhha]

alright alright

i can’t get away from tumblr and tbh i don’t think i should

i guess it’s healthy to journal especially when i’m not sure when my next therapy session will be. i’m having thoughts of eating. i guess i feel empty and down and i know that eating will make me feel happy and whole. but i won’t be -- happy and whole, at least not from eating.

so i’m writing, maybe i should write down the honest thoughts i think but scare me so i don’t write them often, if ever.

like how can i be empty? i’m awesome. aren’t i?

missing q doesn’t hurt as much anymore because i’ve decided not to want, not to desire his attention and affection. so during our ft call earlier (which i was surprised he called, but im sure after yesterday’s teary stand off, he felt more compelled to check in) it felt more clear and calm. i wasn’t frantic, a part of me wanted to end the call early, to leave him wanting and not to have to face the moment when he would leave earlier than i wanted him to. but i didn’t. i stayed and was ok when he left. i just sat, looking at him, thinking, can he really b the partner that would make me happy. i guess logically no one can make me happy in that way, if i’m not already making myself happy first. and that’s the conclusion i always come to, unless the partner has red flags, if the partner is decent, relationships just take work. but this relationship is testing my theory.

so why do i feel empty. why do i run to food and to people. why does sex at night manage the pain of discontent. why does the moon keep me in awe and fear.

i am a wonderful being but i am flawed, i am vulnerable and that’s ok. i’m learning from this retreat and feel so healed. like desire causes suffering, but does that mean i shouldn’t want to win best actress at the naacp awards? smile. smirk. journaling this out is already making me feel better, but those snacks are calling to me. whether from habit or just the band-aid solution to my emotions, it is tempting.

i worry about u, i wonder if you’re thinking of me and sad that you’re not talking to me. but i remember, u existed before we started talking and u will exist when we stop talking. everything will be ok. this time apart is good for me. it allows me to be alone with my discomfort, like a crying child, i need to figure out what my mind needs are so i can learn how to cope, as opposed to a temporary fix that permits me to avoid the problem.

i am so good at denial. even now i think, i don’t have a problem, what problem? and it’s only when my ‘un-productivity’ and weight gain are staring me in the face saying, ‘really? u don’t have a problem...? then why don’t u feel good about yourself? what’s that about,’ that i’m taking a moment to analyze. as fearful as i am that this cloud won’t pass, that i’ll be stuck in this mental state forever because i don’t see a way out, do i keep chugging along this filmmaking path making dismal progress? or do i switch direction and chug in something more comfortable and acceptable when the thought of that doesn’t thrill me either? i keep going back and forth. but i need to break out of that thinking, i need to breathe and keep breathing. i think my breath will lead me out of this dark tunnel where i can’t see. a little bit of faith is required on my part. just breathe and keep breathing, everything will be ok. and keep doing this retreat.

i’m going to be ok being alone. the last time i was without a partner for more than two months was when i first moved to southern california in 2017 and this is even longer. but this time i’m not completely alone, i still have a partner although he is physically so far away. it’s not only the distance that separates us, but 1) my inability to be in vietnam, 2) coronavirus threatening the health of traveling. what a double whammy in addition to me being dissatisfied with how he copes with depression. smoking and screentime, and drugs to some extent. i read about harm reduction the other day, that unhealthy consumption is better than trying to go without and resulting to worse alternatives. i ask myself, do i really want to deal with this? maybe i’ll just be single for the rest of my life and if i want to have a baby, i’ll do it on my own, like really. maybe i’ll just be a buddhist nun. but i can’t choose that path because i’m running away from the hardships of life i guess.

what are you going to think when u read this. what if u don’t like me anymore but another question that’s been circulating on tik tok is, don’t worry if ppl don’t like ‘u,’ ask if ‘u’ like them. so, do i like u? can i b honest? should i be honest? scathing? -- you’re married, end of story, nice and simple, period (as the young kids nowadays say.) and this is a way to not answer the question bc i don’t have to, bc you’re married and i’m married.

therapist says open relationships don’t fix the relationship. yes, this is wise.

so this night has turned into me being alone and honest with my thoughts. i can see myself getting attached to this magical moment. it would be nice to turn these periods of time from suffering to pleasure, how tantalizing that sounds.

now i don’t want to go to sleep. i want to mine more feelings and thoughts, and hold them in the lines of this text, wrap them up in my arms so we can get nice and comfy. my mind went straight to snacks at the thought of staying up though.

how shall i wrap this up. look at me giving myself writing prompts. i’m tempted to write u a love poem but this retreat says i should refrain from consuming things that would make me sad or excited. so i guess it will have to wait for monday when i talk to you again, that is if that poem is still lingering in my mind. what shall i do with you, wut are you going to do w me? i’m veering.

good night chi. see u later

queued feb 25 10:32P

[classycollectorartisanposts-blog]

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"rsa car insurance quote

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i have insurance through my company we are switching from KAISER at 136.00,per check which is 272.00 per month and were as the company pays the other half,AETNA now will charge 178.00 per check which comes out to 356.00 per monththis is the only option that our company has given.so i'm asking ANSWERS help in finding affordable health insurance for me and my spouse i'm 8 yrs younger i'm turning 62,this july 29 and my spouse is turning 70,this nov she has arthritis and myself just sciatica off and on somebody please help with affordable health insurance thank you Gilley""

Can you get your license in California without buying insurance right away?

I have had my permit since last June and have taken two behind the wheel lessons. My mom just told me that she cant get me my license because of the cost of insurance. I was wondering ...show more

""Why is my car insurance for my 1st car, 2500 and my friends insurance is only 1500 for his 1st car??""

Why is my car insurance for my 1st car, 2500 and my friends insurance is only 1500 for his 1st car?? This is confusing me, both our annual milage is estimated to be 5000 miles, they are both in group one insurance groupes, they are both a 1.1L etc, everything is the same apart from the make of the vehicles. I have treid other vehicle qoutes, but yet my insurance qoute is still 2500, and my friend qoutes is only 1500.""

How much would my car insurance go up for putting a little scratch on someone elses vehicle?

I'm with State Farm

Whats the insurance rate for a dui person in california?

25 years old,07 dodge charger.. i live in pomona ca. 1st dui what am i looking at for monthly insurance payments?""

How much is gonna cost in Insurance if I buy salvage car here in califonia?

How much is gonna cost in Insurance if I buy salvage car here in califonia?

I got a ticket for haveing a expired drivers licence how will this effect my insurance rates?

The only ticket given was for the expired drivers licence. does that effect the insurance? im not sure cuz it does not mean i am a bad driver. anything will help! need to know fast. and i am in wyoming if that makes any differance.

What is the cheapest economical car i can buy in the UK?

i want cheap insurance, tax and fuel consider that i am 18 years old dont want a box under the car""

Good but cheap car insurance?

Im 17 and just got first car, it's a 2004 Mini Cooper 1.6 and now im looking for insurance, but not sure on what one to go as there is so many out there. I want some cheap and good (and easy to join) but i haven't got a clue about what to go on as i know nothink about insurance so i need a bit of help....... What would be a good and cheap company to join to? and also how much would it cost?""

Checking Insurance Quotes?

May be a stupid question but can you check different insurance quotes even if you haven't passed your test yet, just to get an idea of how much it will be ?""

How much do you pay for auto insurance for teen?

im 17 almost 18 looking to drive soon? how much would I pay if.... -no good student discount -3 cars -1 boat -live with parents under whom which ill have co-sign my insurance for now out of predictions, how much do teens usually pay for auto insurance?""

Insurance on a ford fiesta 1.25 GHIA?

im 17 and will be having my full license at the very latest January the 1st just wondering the average price for cheapest cover, 5 door 1.25""

Motorcycle insurance prices in uk at 17-19?

Hello, I really want to get a motorcycle at the age of between 17 to 20 (preferably 17-18) but I was wondering how much it would cost for the insurance of a brand new Yamaha r125 and a Kawasaki Ninja 300 at each age between 17 to 20, thanks guys and it would clear some thoughts on how much it would be, what age seems good. I really want to get a bike before uni.""

Best used mpv with cheap tax cheap insurance good mpg?

im looking for an mpv thats cheap to run on fuel , car tax, insurance,and maintenance, people have suggested a citreon berlingo ? does anyone have one and does it qualify my needs""

How much would insurance be on this car for a 17 year old?

Photo: http://i.imgur.com/oBPkdUi.jpg

How much would car insurance be for a 16 or 17 yr old guy?

im 16 now, ready to get my first car and drive, but i need a steady job to pay for my insurance. so being young and a male, how much should i be looking to pay?""

How does this car insurance thing work?

and where can you get car insurance quotes.

rsa car insurance quote

rsa car insurance quote

""What kind of life insurance is better for me, term insurance or permanent insurance?""

Is there any advantage to permanent insurance over term insurance or vis versa? I mean, basically it looks like term is the better deal because I can buy more death benefit for a lot less money, but permanent insurance gives me money with a death benefit. I'm in my late 40's, have a wife and 2 kids, normal bills, mortgage, etc. Does anyone have any opinions about what is really the better deal long term?""

How much would car insurance cost?

how much would car insurance cost for a 16 year old guy driving a 2006 pontiac g6 4 door 2.4 liter engine

Do you know of any good family health insurance plans for cheap?

I currently work in a hopital and pay only $200/month for insurance. I am pregnant with my 2nd child and thinking of cutting my hours at work to where I could no longer carry their insurance plan. We also own a small business, so my husband doesn't carry the insurance. I only have to work 20 hours a week to keep the insurance at my job, and it has awesome benifits, but I would love to be home after the 2nd baby is born. What do you think? Should I keep my insurance at work or any better ideas?""

""Was to help make health care plan was to help make health care more affordable, what happened?

It does not seem it is going in that direction; it seems like more of a insurance sale for insurance company.

I have a question about auto insurance in Arizona.?

I am 18 years old and just obtained my drivers license. I do not own a car but I would like to use my grandparents jeep in times when I need to get to school. It wont be a routine thing just a back up plan in case I cannot find a ride. Do I need to get a non owner insurance policy to able to legally drive in Arizona or am I legal to drive without insurance as long as my grandparents have the car insured?

What is a medical insurance deductible?

What is a medical insurance deductible?

What type of cars would have the highest car insurance payment?

couples? Sport cars? What type of cars have a high car insurance payment? I wanted to get a two door but heard the insurance would be high. Since im young I know it be higher also. What would be best to get?

Approx. how much would a leased car amd insurance cost a 24yr old male?

Planning on either a alfa romeo, or civic moving to the uk so not sure what leases are like and insurance. Insurance in toronto is sky high so im assuming it will be the same. I pay $400 a month so arounds 200pounds. Just looking for estimations thanks. City driver too, possibly london or glasgow.""

I need to how much car insurance will be ?

Im 19 years old an i live in topeka ks. im goin to be gettin a 1994 camaro i want to no how much the car insurance will be since it is a sports car

Can insurance rates go up if...?

If you have a provisional license issued and you get a citation for carrying passengers in your car before your 5 months is up, can your insurance rates go up? If so, how much?""

Is $110/mo a good price for motorcycle insurance?

I'm 18 years old, i have no tickets or citations on my record. It's a 250 cc kawasaki ninja.""

Will I get the money from my life insurance back?

I have had life insurance for a year now, which gives me a discount on my car insurance. When I am 21, my car insurance rates may go down and I may not need the life insurance discount from State Farm any more. Will I get the money that I have put into the life insurance back?""

How much will driving lessons in an automatic car be?

I live in the UK, and i'm having to learn to drive in an automatic car because i have a disability which affects my concentration How much would it be to take lessons in an automatic car? And is the insurance more expensive? Thanks""

""Need cheap car insurance, already looked into geico and progressive?""

what's a good, AFFORDABLE company i can go to for auto insurance? i'm a 19 yr old female, living in dallas, tx marital status: separated""

What would an insurance company pay for a totalled 2006 Toyato Camery?

What would an insurance company pay for a totalled 2006 Toyato Camery?

Do insurance companies use mortality rates to set premiums and other costs for certain age groups? Why?

Do insurance companies use mortality rates to set premiums and other costs for certain age groups? Why?

""If I am under my wife's health insurance plan, do i need to get my own insurance under Obamacare?""

Currently, my kids and I are under my wife's health insurance plan. I heard that if we stay under her plans, we will be penalized once this Obamacare goes into effect.""

Where do i get a cheap auto insurance company?

Where do i get a cheap auto insurance company?

Why is my car on Motor Insurance Database (MID) while I haven't bought insurance yet?

I've just bought a used car for my son, received the new log book; however, I haven't bought insurance yet, as I intend to keep the car off road at the moment. But when I checked my car on the Motor Insurance Database (MID), it recognized my car. Apparently it is ok to drive this car, although I haven't bought insurance for it. Do you think this is ok, or will I be stopped by the police driving this car?""

Whats the average cost a month for car insurance in california for an 18 year old?

Whats the average cost a month for car insurance in california for an 18 year old?

""Am I paying too much for auto insurance, or is it average for my age range?""

Insurer: GEICO Premium: $240/month (6-month policy, includes collision and comprehensive w/ $1,000 deductible) Gender: Male Age: 20 (almost 21) State: FL Driving for: 5 years Accidents/tickets: None Vehicle Type: SUV Vehicle Year: 1995 Supposedly, my premium is supposed to go down when I turn 25, at least that's what GEICO said. The other companies are just as expensive. What are your thoughts?""

California auto insurances?

There's a car under my parent's name and under their policy. i'm 19 and i have my license for a year now. Since i am on my winter break now and i would like to drive it sometimes. However, i'm not under their policy nor any policy. So, i am driving their car and if 'm involved in an accident, will i be covered under my parent's policy? And i heard that if i am involved in an accident i will be covered by my parent's policy for the first time only, so is this true?""

What are peoples opinions of the affordable care act?

I am not that informed about it and curious how people feel about it

Whats cheap cars to insure for a new driver?

Hi there im currently undertaking my lessons and instructor said I should pass before march time and just wondering what cars are cheap to ensure for new drivers and how much roughly are they a month and is there any way I can knock it down to make a bit cheaper? can you get finance cars for new drivers with insurance and tax free for 3 years?

Can I drive an insured car without insurance?

I got my G2 a week ago and I was wondering if I can drive my parent's insured car without being listed as a driver. I drive very safely and I've never received any ticket but my insurance quotes are insanely high, especially because I am a guy. I really can't afford it and neither can my parents. Some people say I can still drive and some say no and I'm very confused. Please answer if you know for sure. Thanks in advance""

rsa car insurance quote

rsa car insurance quote

Any 18 Year old drivers with car insurance?

I'm 18 and I cant find any insurance under 7K and this is clear ageism. Are there any other young drivers who are sole policy holders with cheaper insurance?

How much would insurance for a 17yr old cost?

the car is a cts-v coupe. I need to know if i can afford the insurance b4 buying for my son. -thanks

Does any one know about any 0 deductible health insurance plan with low monthly payment?

State California

Geico car insurance down payment?

Is anyone here doing geico auto insurance monthly payments? I just got my policy and had to put a downpayment. the down payment is part of my policy total right? it's not like an extra fee? I'am pretty sure it's part of my total.

How long it takes to find a car before it is considered a loss for insurance purrpose in California?

What is the search time frame for a car to be considered loss for insurance reimbursement in California? I am buying a new car and considering my insurance policy option and also thinking if I truly need a LoJack.

Question regarding auto mobile insurance company policy?

so i just got with a new insurance company about 2 months ago. Would the insurance company accept a claim and cover all the expenses of a car accident if they didnt withdraw their monthly fee yet, but then i did received their pink slip of the policy number and everything?""

Which car insurance companies only ask for 3 years convictions?

Can anyone give me a of list of car insurance companies which only ask for 3 years of convictions...? I have 6 points, I'm 22, passed my test 3 months ago, and accumulated these points 3 years and 2 months ago... Catch my drift? :)""

Does anybody know of a cheap insurance company for eighteen year olds?

I just turned eighteen and I'm looking for car insurance since what I'm paying right now is really high ( 290 for minimum) Everywhere else I look wants like 1000 dollars a month for minimum coverage thats crazy how can anyone afford that? Are there any good companies in specific for someone in my position?

What is the typical cost of condo insurance in florida?

I'm trying to understand what homeowners insurance woul cost in florida for a 2 bedroom condo. I'm not ready to call an insurance company. I'm looking in Ft.Myers. Just want to know is it thousands of dollars and out of my range or a few hundrend per year. Say for a 75k condo.

Cheap car to insure for 17 year old boy?

Please just say a few car names and not your not geting any for cheap

16 year old male car insurance question?

My mom has Gieco car insurance. I was wondering how much car insurance would be for me on a 1998 Jeep Wrangler with a security system, and 4x4 drive. I tried to get a quote yesterday on the fone but they made me wait like 40 minutes so i hung up and it never works online so please help me.""

""Crashed car into the bushes, would basic insurance cover it?""

My car brakes gave up on me and i crashed into the dense bushes. The police didn't even write a report since, as they said, it was no fault of my own and i had no injuries. Since i didn't hit anybody or anything but the bush there was no fine for me to pay. I don't know how big is the damage to the car since it happened on a saturday evening (i'll have it checked out tomorrow), but the front looks bad. I have basic Florida insurance, and i just want to know if they would cover it before i call them. If they don't cover it i'd rather just get it fixed without having my insurance rate go up. So... since it was not my fault (there were witnesses who saw i did everything possible to get the car safely off the road) would it cover at least part of the expenses?""

Where can I get affordable health insurance?

I am a full time college student, and my school offers insurance, but it is expensive. I need basic health care to cover doctors visits, specialist visits, and x rays. The main reason I need coverage is that my back is messed up from a car accident about a year and a half ago and I can't take the pain anymore. I went to my states website and the insurance they offer is currently not accepting applications. I have looked at tons of sites online, but so far am having no luck. Any advice would be appreciated.""

Car insurance for 18/19 yr old?

im 18/19 yr old and just passed my test. how much will it cost for insurance to drive a 1.6 and im a girl? and how much will it cost if i did a passplus?

How much homeowner insurance should I buy?

In other words, how much does it really cost to rebuild this house? My homeowner insurance company insures the dwelling for X, and another company suggests I insure it for 76% of X. So who is right and how do I find out? Another important question -- do most people try to get 100% coverage in case the house is vaporized, or do smart people go for, say, 75% coverage because the entire house probably won't be destroyed? Advice, please.""

What is a car under 1000 for young drivers with cheap insurance ? ?

What is a car under 1000 for young drivers with cheap insurance ? ?

Do you think if I worked at McDonalds I could be able to afford a mustang GT and pay for car insurance?

I want to buy a mustang GT. I prefer a 99-01 year. Which would probably cost me about 400-500 a month paying car payments and car insurance. I'm only 16 years old. But I plan on getting a job when i'm 18 and buying a car. I also need to get my GED, which I start taking classes for that next fall.. because I dropped out of school for specific reasons I wont talk about here. If I work 6 hours a day and earn 7.40 an hour for 5 days a week, thats about 880 bucks a month. Plus my parents could help me out a little. I would use all the money I get from work for the car payment, insurance and gas. Would I have enough money?""

Which minivan has the cheapest insurance for a NEW driver?

looking at second hand minivans - been doing some rough online insurance calculations but so far all above 1000. any body know any minivans which will have a low insurance for a NEW driver

Just passed driving test. 18 years old. What is the cheapest insurance company for me?

Just recently passed 17, turning 18 in a few days. What is the best insurance company in terms of price? also what car would i need to purchase to get the cheapest possible quote? Advice needed!""

Where can I get the lowest priced auto insurance in orange county California ?

I'm a single dad choking on Title IV-D child support enforcement and I want to get my car registered so I can get a job, pay the support be a good dad and jump through all these government circus hoops. I need the lowest priced auto insurance I can get. Perfect driving record and I just want the minimum coverage because I drive a cheap car. Thank You!""

Can You get Insured for a car thats not yours?

My girlfriends car is un insurenced and she got her L's suspended can i get insurence if im driving her car now?

Everything auto insurance will ask you?

I had a car accident, the other driver's insurance company called me, and I need to know all the questions they would ask me personal or not. I know they will ask about the facts of the accident, but I want to know what personal questions(like age, health insurance, education, etc.)""

How much do you think the cheapest insurance would be for my classic car?

My car is a 68' . Yes It is very old. I have been trying to get a quote but most websites do not have the option for cars older then the early 90's late 80's. Anyone with a classic car help? I thought about antique tags but I will use It as a daily driver and in the state of VA that's illegal so.. it's chevy impala 4 doors. btw. all I want is a liability.

""My car insurance quote is 5,000?""

This is the cheapest quote given by the companies. I am 19 years old and working in a minimum wage job. How can they expect me to be able to afford 5,000 in insurance when I'm only driving a 250 car? How can this price come down? Will waiting until I'm older reduce the price?""

How much does car insurance cost for a 16 year old?

Im a girl with good grades that would be added on to my parents insurance policy, can anyone give me a dollar estimate?""

rsa car insurance quote

rsa car insurance quote

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/car-insurance-quotes-va-alexandria-laura-drake/"

[somberthoughtsseldomeffort]

Going through all my text quotes and you can see when i slowly fall out of love.. hahah  I literally haven’t been this happy in the longest time ever. I haven’t written in my book since the feelings were mutual. He makes me so happy without even trying and its the lamest feeling in the entire world. It sucks that it only took him 2 years to finally admit to liking me, or that it took me 5 months of talking to him for me to realize that i liked him back. He wasnt exactly my type, but darling did he steal my affection in a heartbeat. Finally, someone who liked me for me and not for what i can offer, someone who would rather just watch netflix with me in bed than do something like go out on an expensive date. Someone who will just hold me in his arms while im having a bad day and just reassure me that everything will be fine. It just sucks that you have to be leaving tomorrow and that i dont even get to see you leave. I really, really like you.    And i think ill tell you that before you go, and it will be the lamest thing that i have ever done in my 18 years of life. Cause darling, you are the only exception. -Feb 14th,2014  I remember I wrote this poem about not being able to take a place in the scoreboard of affection. Well look at me now, in first place with a really sweet guy. - Mar 7th,2014 I am so conflicted with what I want to do with this “relationship”. I know for a fact I’m thinking too hard about it and it’s driving me practically insane. And this is probably I stay away from relationships all together or why I stray away from ties with people in general. I really like him and I am aware of it now, I want to get to know him more and just see if we’re just as compatible as I’d like us to be. I don’t want to push my ideals on him or his on me cause that’s not the type of relationship that I am looking for. I have the utmost respect towards military wives or girlfriends. I can’t even handle bootcamp yet alone the rest of his life… Do I escape while I can or do I stay because I enjoy his company. - Mar 18th,2014

You know what I hate the most? I hate that I brought him into a room I sleep in. I let him linger in a place I spend all of my time in. There isn’t a second that goes by where I am not reminded of his existence. I can’t lay in my bed with peace of mind like I used to be able to. Fuck - Mar 20th.2014  10 more days till Gerik comes back, 10 more days till everything is sorted out. 10 more days til ughhh,, idk . Gosh darn it i miss him -  May 13th,2014 It will seriously be the most fucked up thing if you notice me now. I was hanging around you since my sophomore year of high school and liked you for a while. But now that we’re in college and i have found myself in a obscure relationship you wanna come down and be like “ hey these are my views on relationships and they match yours, wow, you are like totally the type of girl im looking for why didnt i notice this sooner.” I will dick slap you so hard its going to leave an imprint on your face.- May 15th,2014

i am beyond myself, honestly with this whole significant other thing. Feelings really shouldnt be this difficult to figure out. I mean they are MY feelings i should be able to tell what they want. A hug would be nice right now even a pat on the head or something. I feel so uneasy honestly . - Nov 4th,2014 

And he left, and this time between us was honestly nothing more than that. I knew i needed to end things with Gerik, but honestly I did not expect it to hurt this much. I dont need a man in my life who’s idea of a joke would be to say hes going to hit on other girls including my friends and then cal me sensitive after i get upset. I dont need a man in my life who will let me get hit and be okay with it even if he thought we were “playing”. I dont need a man who wont be clear on what he wants to do with me and what we are after a year has passed. I do not need someone who will let me be sad and not really talk to me about it. I do not need someone who will let me be all emotionally scorn day in and day out and tell me to “get over it”. I do like Gerik though. I liked the way hed laugh at my jokes and how he would only be ticklish in one spot. Id like the way hed hug me and made me feel like being in his arms were where i would be the safest. I liked it when he would do all these things and not al all. I hate that he is in the Marines. Im happy i did not give him my virginity and that we did not emotionally connect with one another otherwise  this would have been harder than it is right now. But i swear to God if anyone ever says that I, “never cared” or that “shes a bitch for breaking up with you” fuck you. Cause i would have never stayed for a year and not tried to make things work. I should not have to justify why i was not happy with someone. I liked gerik, but i could not like him more than this. For this relationship was not a healthy one. - Jan 2nd,2015

if you really think that I broke up with him because of you and not out of my own happiness than you are crazy. - Jan 3rd,2015

So here is the ordeal, as most may not care or be concerned about my love life, I am torn between sticking with whats available and waiting for something better. I literally spent a year and some days with a boy who i honestly wasnt sure if he liked me or need me. Or wanted to like someone and needed someone. I ended with someone i missed but knew wasnt good for me. Then I was turned to a wonderful boy who, quicker than most, basically professed and undying admiration  with me and literally wanted everything that i offered. He unfortunately is active military and I have lost total communication with him. I am not sure how he is doing or if his interest in me died. Then i meet this older guy, i actually met him on new years this year but i didnt really think much of him, but apparently he thought something of me. Then he added me on facebook and then we started talking and then we met again in person at a show and then again and my best friends birthday. We, i gues you could say, kinda hooked up but not really. (i am 100% still a virgin…) And i am not sure if i want to advacne with this guy. He is a very nice and respectable guy . he would not do anything that i was not comfortable with. He is kind and considerate. But he honestly is not someone i could see myself with in the far future but then again i just met him. And I still kind of like the boy who i lost contact with. I am single and young I have a lot of choices in life but i dont think i make the right ones. Ughhhhhh relationships with people suck honestly…. help what the hell do i do?! -Mar 8th,2015 

This would just be my freaking luck, He would come back. He would come back when I was literally to give up all hope of him. I pray and hope he remembers me but at the same time i hope that he doesnt approch me and doesnt make my life that much harder. I cant choose and i dont like having options. I dont like having to think about who i would be better off with or who i actually like. I can stand being so indecisive. At the same time I miss him so much… UGggggggHHHH - Apr 25,2015 

I cant wait till novemember, Im going to be planning a trip to california to see my boyfriend. I know im pretty excited for something that is going to happen like 4 months from now. But itd be the only vacation id have fro a while. Ill get to spoil his hass and take him to six flags and I get to do lame couple things. What i really want to do is get thous leather engraved bracelets. That would make me the happiest soul. Haha and I also get to look forward to the Marine Corps Ball, I never got to go to prom so its kinda like the same thing right?? I can not wait, so excited.  - Jul 22,2015 

It kinda terrifies me in a way how much of a minor change I noticed in me. And im talking into terms as far as my relationship goes with Gerik. Its not a bad change its actually pretty good to be honest. I feel a lot more peaceful and its kinda sad that I was not able to reach this level of happiness by myself. The only reason it probably took me so long to like someone was because I felt like I should love myself first. I still admit to not loving myself but im sure a lot of people share that common problem.

    He doesnt let me be sad by myself and I really cant seem to lie to him. I sure dont tell him everything yea, but if her were to ask id say everything. I dont know he makes me happy and probably upsets me the most at the same time. I feel like hes too good to be true cause I’ve never met someone who has been as patient with me as he has been. I may doubt him from time to times cause sometimes i just dont believe someone could actually like me. Cause lets be honest. Im a pretty shitty person inside and out. But he never fails to reassure me in many ways. Hes a wonderful boyfriend and I cant wait to see him in November. Idk I just feel like he made me a lot more forgiving and kinder to myself. I would usually sulk about a lot of things but he makes them minor i dont know how to explain it but hes a great guy. - Aug 8th,2015 

My boyfriend is simple, and a lot of boys and girls are these days. I for one and not one of them. Im like a rubics cube that someone switched the stickers on. He’s the type of person who says things once meaning if he really misses me and wants to explain it he will only tell me once. Thats all he thinks he needs to say. But in my head I feel like if I am not reminded that I am wanted and loved I’ll feel like he doesnt like me anymore. I dont know yes I need affection but I also dont want to be smothered. I dont know. Im just kinda irritated with myself in all honesty. Just because he doest tell me everyday that he still loves me as much as he wants to make me think he does, i start to think he doesnt fancy me anymore. I just feel life I annoy him so much with how needy I am. I just dont date well.  A lot of the times i feel like i like him so much more than he likes me idk. Im a hopeless cause.  - Aug 19th,2015 

I feel like he’s slowly getting tired of me. Maybe I’m getting tired of myself I don’t know. But whatever this feeling is I don’t like it - Aug 22nd,2015 

I am always stuck between wanting Gerik to get enough sleep for work and also wanting to be selfish and talk to him all night. It really sucks that my first relationship is long distance. Im usually pretty level headed till I hang out with friends and end up being a third wheel. I love how excited I get when I see him but I also get really sad when I haven’t had enough of him. Does that make sense? I’m literally counting down the days till the next time I get to see him and they feel like forever. I just want to hug him like really just feel the warmth and the security his arms give me. I’m being really extra tonight cause he had to be awake at 7am and I only got to take to him for about 30 minutes. That sounds like a lot but I’m a needy person who wants his attention. I miss him so much :( - Oct 27th,2015 

Its annoying, well I guess in annoying. Its like I always want to be honest with the way I feel. I just can’t do it all the time. Okay, so when you’re upset or start getting upset there is something making you feel that way. My problem is, if I’m being too sensitive or if I am justified for being upset. At times I catch myself getting upset for things that are either out of my control or out of the other parties control. So I keep it to myself its not their problem. However when it comes to Gerik I feel like I over react all the time and I can’t tell if I’m just a fucking baby or I’m right to be angry. I think I annoy him all the time and that he doesn’t really care about the things I say or do. I don’t know, ugh. Like yesterday night we were talking and usually we pause during conversation cause we don’t really have much to say so he hung up assuming I was asleep I called him back and he was answered kinda sounding pissed off and he was like “what!” And I asked him if that was me or him, that hung up, and he said that it was him and kinda asked why I called him back and groaned about it. So yeah I got upset and I said “I get it you’re tired I’ll hang up now it’s fine, good night. ” he stopped me from hanging up and he was like “what’s wrong, its okay if we still talk.” I said not everything is fine good night. But he insisted it was okay but it kinda got awkward so i just told him to hang up. I don’t know so I kinda just stopped talking to him to collect my thoughts idk. - Nov 2,2015 

Honestly, leaving San Diego was the hardest thing that I did. I have no idea what came over me but I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to leave my boyfriend , I didn’t want him to get up that morning to get ready for duty. As I was saying goodbye I literally started to cry and I kept on crying an hour into my drive to Vegas. I didn’t let him see my tears cause I’m a G, but they were sure there when he wasn’t looking. He leaves me all the time and I never cried. The two years of if I’ll see him or he’s only here for 2 days then gone for 5 months. I never once cried beside that one time. I love him so, so, much and its kinda scary. He tells me his room still smells like me when he goes in there. Its so funny cause all I did was sleep in his bed. But it makes me sorta happy. I really should have stole one of his shirts. God, I miss him so much. I didn’t know I’m such a baby. Ha. - Nov 17th,2015 

Let me be the first one to tell you how much better I feel as a person now that I am no longer with Gerik. You know, it took me a while to realize that he really wasn’t the one for me. It took me almost 2 years and some odd months. I had to stop making up excuses for him. The excuses that this is his first relationship and that he doesn’t understand me as a person and that he’ll learn with time ya know? Well he never did, no matter if I cried to him or if I talked to him. In the end it’s just be that I’m the crazy one or that it’s my fault. Never once did I remember him taking the blame for anything. Not that it was always his fault but the fact that he’d never own up to it when it was. I felt like I was just used sexually he’d only ever put any effort when he thought we were gonna do “something” later on in the night. I always felt that he only was with me because I was the only thing available to him. He never really took the time to get to know me as a person he knew what everyone else knew the basics. I never felt genuinely loved in my relationship with him. I convinced myself over and over again that I was loved. I’m just really sad that I had to experience the things that I did to just realize that he wasn’t the one I needed to wake up to everyday ya know? I tell everyone that I want to get over what Edwin did to me but I get really scared. I still get scared when someone gets in the same position he did to me. I start to feel dirty. I start to get flash backs and start to get defensive. I know that gerik would never force himself on me or anything but when he got on top of me like that I started to freak out. I yelled and got so defensive and the fact that he didn’t get off right away scared the shit out of me. I don’t know man. It just really felt like he didn’t care for me man. So now I want to talk about Ramon, he’s such a sweet heart. I know that I won’t be dating him anytime soon I’m still recovering but he’s such an amazing person. And let me state that no, I did not leave gerik for Ramon. I left gerik for me and myself only. I am my own person and I can do whatever I feel is right for me. But Ramon actually listens to what I have to say and what I have on my mind and understands me emotionally. And that’s all that I have been looking for my whole life. I hope this isn’t just my distraction and that this is something that is good for me. The only thing I worry about is how we will mix as people. To me he’s really nice and cool but outside of that he might be hard to get along with. Ya know? He’s a thug, and active gang member. So I hope I’m not mixing with the wrong crowd but I will stay true to myself all the way. I like Ramon for Ramon, and will not labels change my opinion. I just know he gets me in ways I wish other people did. Almost like serigo understood me but in a goofy way and that’s my favorite part. Ughhhh so that’s where I am in life right now. I’m just going to concentrate on doing me. And loving myself more. And Ramon is a great distraction from feeling lonely. A real good one. - April 16th,2016 

And now i am with my amazing boyfriend for about 1 year, yeah we hit major bumps in the road but now were just growing <3

[dontpanicberlin-blog]

AN INTERVIEW WITH MYKKI BLANCO

Hip Hop hasn’t seen an artist like Mykki Blanco. The first press wave hit with an introduction as a transgendered rapper along with the gay hip hop scene and artists like Zebra Katz, Le1f, and House of LaDosha storming out of New York. Get further into Mykki’s persona and you’ll find a poet first and foremost, with a published book entitled From The Silence Of Duchamp To The Noise Of Boys released with Opening Ceremony last year. On stage Mykki’s performance style is mixed with aggressive lyricism, industrial beats, psych-rock, hip hop and occasional goth drag designed to shock.

Now a few months into the furious tour, the initial hype surrounding Mykki’s drag persona may be winding down, but you’ll keep seeing Mykki boy and Mykki girl as the multi-faceted performance artist continues to break barriers. Catch the next Berlin show at the CTM 13 party at Stattbad Wedding on 2nd Feb.

You’ve always gone by Micheal David Quattlebaum Jr.,when was Mykki Blanco born?

The Mykki Blanco things just came about through my own sexuality and then I decided to perform as Mykki. And then when I realised that it peaked people’s interest even more that I was in a completely feminine attire yet was producing this super theatrical rock n’ roll rap show, I think all those elements really locked people in. I’m really glad that I’m starting to receive this attention while I was still doing ultra feminine performances. It’s important to me that people realise that it is versatile. You’re going to see Mykki in an expensive dress, maybe you’re not. I didn’t want gay people to think that I’m changing to become more commercial, that’s why early on I said that I need to do my next two videos as a girl and boy. You have to understand that it’s going to be both because that is what makes me successful.

Do people know you were a poet before you started to rap?

14 is when I started doing poetry readings and really taking the role of a poet seriously, which no one takes seriously like I do. There are writers that I definitely look to like Pablo Naruda, Sylvia Plath, Bob Kaufman. These are all people that I consider amazing writers and they all have a hint of magical realism. With publishing my book of poems From The Silence Of Duchamp To The Noise Of Boys, I just really wanted to tell all the stories that I had been collecting. That’s just what makes a rich creative life accessible to other people when you’re willing to share what you’re learning along your journey.

There’s this hyper-charged aggression that comes out of you when you’re on stage, what do you consider when you’re up there?

To perform to beat-based music, but have the energy of a punk is what makes my live show unique and it’s what I’ve built my showmanship on. Even though I’m rapping I’ve constructed everything in a way that it’s kind of like a shock rock show. I’m very very theatrical when I’m on the stage . There are moments when I do rap monologues, freestyle. In a song like ‘Join My Militia’ I’m at my most dramatic. For me it’s like moving, moving, and moving, taking little breaks when I can with each interlude, not taking too long of a break making sure I have enough breath control. I model my performance after someone like Tina Turner or Iggy Pop, or GG Allin, or Beyonce, the kind of performers where it’s just them on stage, but that’s enough. That’s what I try to work towards all the time, pushing my own limits.

Do you always perform in drag?

Sometimes when I perform as Mykki, I’m not going to perform in feminine drag, sometimes I like to do goth drag. You’re never going to see me in a white chain and a gold t-shirt, but as my mood changes there are times when I would have been in a dress, heels, and lipstick all day and then I have the show and I don’t feel like being dressed in heels, and I just feel like painting black around my eyes and a bloody mouth and looking like black metal.

Has New York been a good place for you?

It was good for me because you learn how to work it. That’s the one thing about me, I’m very very strategic and I think about everything. I think about every aspect of my career from when I’m writing a song, to when I’m writing the hook to when I’m working with the producer to when I’m working with my publicist, to when I’m working with the director, I consider everything because I really take it seriously. To a certain extent what I’m doing is so age sensitive. It’s only going to be cute for me to be hopping up on stage and being a wild and crazy ferocious machine until I reach a certain age. I have to think about my future after that.

[christinaengela]

Hello friends and fans!

March was an exciting month for us over at the Crow Bar!

Coming up in this edition of News From The Crow Bar, s, and a couple of stunning reviews of my work received in the past month!

New Releases

“Prodigal Sun” – book 5 in The Quantum Series is finally available! Since it has only just been released, it will at first only be available on  Lulu, but  in the next few weeks it should start appearing on Amazon, Goodreads, Kobo (prices in ZAR  ), Lybrary, iTunes, Nook, eBookMall and Indigo – and in fact everywhere you can find all my books!

I hope those of you who have been eagerly awaiting the fifth title in the Quantum Series will enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

In the meantime, if you want to know more about the story being told in “Prodigal Sun“, you can find more info here: What Readers Can Expect In “Prodigal Sun”, “High Steaks” & “The Last Hurrah”.

The Galaxii Series

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As some of you might know, the covers for this series were designed by the inimitable Susan Simone – and I’m happy to say that Susan will soon be creating the cover for the next upcoming title in this series as well! I’m sure it’s going to be a stunner, just like the others!

The working title for book 4 in this series was “Overkill”, but this has since changed to “Where Darkness Softly Treads” since I felt it better fits the kind of story I will tell!

The Quantum Series

After talking about it in numerous posts on Facebook and here on my website, the time is finally nigh! In anticipation of the eagerly-awaited release of “Prodigal Sun“, I thought it would help readers if I gave them an idea of what to expect in the story that will be told across three books – “Prodigal Sun“, “High Steaks” and “The Last Hurrah“. To that end, I posted an article on Feb 14 to whet your appetites! (What Readers Can Expect In “Prodigal Sun”, “High Steaks” & “The Last Hurrah”).

“High Steaks” is also complete and already waiting in the wings, and will be released after giving people time to digest the first new book in the Quantum Series in a decade! “The Last Hurrah” – the next title in the series after that, is still a work in progress and I will post updates in this regard!

Short Fiction

I finished redrafting a short story of mine from 1987 called “The Curse, which I renamed to “Mercury Rising“. Together with another from 1988 called “Code Red“, it will be appearing in “Space Really Sucks!“!

Poetry

One evening in February, when inspiration hit, I wrote a poem I called “State Capture” in 20 minutes – within 12 hours, Alex S. Johnson had snapped it up for an anthology called “Trumpocalypse” (Horrified Press)! Even if that isn’t some kind of record, it certainly is for me! I will post links to the book when it is released later in 2017!

Also under ‘poetry’ for February, on Feb 15, 2017 I entered the “Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest“, and submitted “Ode To A Nymphomaniac”, a poem I wrote in 1991. Results are to be announced Aug 15, 2017.

Non-Fiction

Over this past month I edited and reformatted a new release of “How I Built My Home UPS System – & How You Can Too” – a tech book detailing how I built a home UPS system! It should be ready for release once I have finished the section on solar panels and wind chargers – for which I needed to actually install these items first! More about that later in a future edition!

Collaborations

Nothing to report in this section this time!

Translations

Translation of my short stories into Afrikaans has taken something of a back-seat recently with all my focus having been on the final edits of “Prodigal Sun” and “High Steaks“, and new releases (“Prodigal Sun“) . So far, we’ve translated “The Thirteenth Ship” and “Wiggle Room“into Afrikaans which are available for free on the shop site’s Afrikaans page.

Editing

“Vampyre Bytes – voices from the South African Vampyre Community”, which I have edited for LightBearer Publishing, is still in final edits and formatting with the publisher.  Submissions are still open for “Embracing Justice” (Riot Pink). Please mail me your entries/submissions at christinaengela@gmail.com .

Competitions

There are no new competitions currently running.

On A Personal Note

Fan Mail & Honorable Mentions

Noticed in the past month by my long-suffering PA Wendy K. Gloss, were the following honorable mentions:

Book reviewer and author in his own right, Andy Peloquin referred to me in a post on his home page in May 2015 (yes, okay I know it’s old – I just got to see it!) in which he said: “Today’s author is a Miss Christina Engela, the writer of dark science fiction/horror novels that will blow your mind and bring out the goosebumps. She’s actually quite an interesting person!“

Quotes Daddy seems to have a lot of quotes of me on their site!

Simply Links, a free directory of South African books websites, has my Lulu shop page listed.

In January 2017, my short story ‘The Thirteenth Ship‘ appeared on a list of reading recommendations by Let’s Read Women for stories written by female authors about female pirates called ‘Kickass Women Who Are Pirates‘.

ProjectTransFriends used one of my quotes on their website in January 2017.

Hate Mail

This month I’m happy to report that I received nothing more suspect than one solitary, sad little ‘dick pic’ – which got its sender five minutes of fame on my Facebook wall!

Reviews & Interviews

New Videos

This past month I managed to create just one new video – the book trailer for “Prodigal Sun“. On the whole I’m very happy with it, and think my technique is improving. The drawings were all hand-drawn by me and then colored on my PC in Paint, and then processed via Powerpoint and a video-editing program.

New Listings

As of February, my books are now also all listed on Anobii, on Bol (Netherlands) and Fnac (France).

March was a very interesting month for us writing-wise over at the Crow Bar! Again I’d like to thank all of you out there who support me by buying and reading my books, and for your constant friendliness and positive outlook!

If you would like to know more about Christina Engela and her writing, please feel free to browse her website. If you want to know what Christina Engela’s focus group or target market is, please read here. If you would like to read more about Christina’s life and experiences, please go to her Biography and the article “Timeline of Milestones, Awards & Achievements“. To leave her a message, please use the Contact form. Visit her Shop. ‘Add’ Christina Engela on Facebook (Profile). ‘Like’ Christina Engela on Facebook (Page). All material copyright © Christina Engela, 2017.

Another Round @ The Crow Bar #4 – Apr 2017 Hello friends and fans! March was an exciting month for us over at the Crow Bar!