#need to draw her wife n kids next

[aakiwa]

Need her so bad

[youraverageaemondsimp]

Sweet Nectar // Aemond Targaryen x Wife!Reader

Summary: Aemond feels ever so slightly jealous when he watches his wife feed their babe, he'll have a taste for himself tonight.

WARNINGS: mdni, afab!reader, lactation kink, breeding kink, unprotected p in v sex, reader is already a mom, breastfeeding, aemond craving the good old tiddy milk, tiddy sucking, teasing, biting, nipple play, aemond is so down bad for the milkers. + not proofread.

WC: 2,078

A/N: I suddenly got the urge to write this I'm not kidding 😭😭 // diviver credits to @cafekitsune

You coo softly while gently rocking back and forth as the small babe in your arms begins getting fussy in between your arms, you pat her gently and reassure the fussy babe, while caressing her cheek.

“Are you hungry, my dear?” You ask her as if she'll respond verbally, a small croak leaves her throat before she coos, stretching her tiny arms and placing it upon your breast as a way to answer your question. You chuckle at her action before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Shall I take her to the nursemaid, princess?” The maidservant allotted to you questions, putting your comfort as a first priority, you shake your head, “No need, I shall feed the babe myself.” You reject her politely, “Can you undo the lace?” You ask her, and she nods, her fingers making quick work of the lace that's holding the top of your gown together, you pull the material down — along with your chemise — just enough for one of your breasts to be exposed but cover everything else.

You hold the baby in a feeding position, and she immediately latches onto your nipple, suckling as she makes soft satisfied noises, as her hunger is being satiated. You giggle at her cuteness and watch as she closes her eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep.

The door to your shared chamber opens and you lift your head up to see Aemond, carrying a bunch of scrolls and books in his hands, he sets them down on the nearby table before turning his attention to you. “My prince.” the maidservant greets and Aemond nods, “Prepare a bowl of water and a rag, after that, leave us alone.” He commands her and she bows, swiftly beginning to do what she's been told. After the maid leaves the bowl and leaves, Aemond quickly begins to retire for the night, undressing himself, usually, he would call in a manservant or you would help him, but he cannot call the manservant when you're breastfeeding, and neither can you help him because of that.

So he does it himself, after undoing his upper garment, he wears nothing but his white plain transparent tunic and breeches ; that are more suited for sleepwear, loose and thin. Aemond later washes his hands and forearms thoroughly, ridding them of any kind of dirt before making his way to you.

“How was your day, Husband?” You ask him, watching as he comes near and stands next to you, staring at you for a second before sitting down beside you. “Hm, t'was decent, what about you?” He asks you, his gaze dropping down to your chest. “It was good, I did not wish to partake in any social meetings today, but rather decided to spend it with her.” You look down at your child who is now sleeping. Aemond hums before he lays his head on your shoulder getting comfortable in your presence enough to express his desires.

“I want to have my wife tonight.” He mutters, nuzzling himself into the crook of your neck as his gaze remains fixated on your chest while he rests his hand on your thigh, slowly drawing imaginary patterns on it, indicating what he wants. Your face heats up at his implications, “You will, husband, let me call the servant and have her taken to the nursery for tonight.” You reply to him, slowly pulling her away from your breast and covering yourself up.

“I will call for the servant.” He offers, hoping to help you out and you nod, he opens the chamber door stepping out and turning to the guard before asking the guard to fetch a servant, to which he immediately obeys and goes to get one. Aemond gets inside, making his way over to you before he takes your child from you and hands her over to the servant who had entered the room just then. “Take care of her for the night in the nursery, should there be any news that she was hurt in any way, I will cut off all of your limbs.” He threatens to which the poor servant just nods her head in fear assuring him that no harm would occur to your child, and then she takes her away.

The door closes and Aemond secures it tightly so it doesn't open upon impact. And all the while Aemond was talking to the servant, you had quickly gotten undressed and were now sitting in your chemise, putting the gown that had fallen to the floor away.

Aemond goes straight to the bed and sits on it and you watch as he removes his eyepatch, placing it on the table next to the bed before he turns his attention to you. He looked so ethereal when he was staring at you, his sapphire glinted as the fire from the chambers reflected off from it. “Come.” He commands and you slowly make your way over to him, now standing in front of him.

He looks up at you the tension thick in the air as his eye is filled with pure desire for you. he wraps his arms around your waist, resting his head on your chest and pulling you, this causes you to stumble and lose your balance which he takes as an advantage to pull you onto the bed with him, flipping you over and getting on top.

His hair curtains around your face as he stares at you, his eye moving back and forth between your own, taking in your beauty. You raise your hand and gently tuck his hair into his ear before caressing his cheek, “You're so beautiful.” You hear him say and you smile, “I could say the same about you, husband.” You respond, He gives you a small smile before tilting his head slightly and connecting his lips to yours.

His lips felt soft against yours, you reciprocated and kissed him back. You felt the heat bloom in your core as he slowly grinds himself against your lower abdomen while kissing you. He slowly slides his hand against yours before intertwining your fingers with his. You parted your lips slightly, allowing his tongue to slip inside, allowing him to deepen the kiss which resulted in him humming in satisfaction.

He pulled away shortly after, panting for air, his kisses then trailed down towards your neck, he pecked and nipped at the skin of your neck, leaving bite marks as a way to mark you as his, he untwined his hand from yours to pull down your chemise, causing your tits to spill out of their confines.

He presses kisses down to the valley in between your breasts before he stays there for a while, “You know, I'm jealous—” he begins, his other hand coming up and gently fondling with your breast, “— that our daughter gets to have these whenever she wishes, meanwhile I'd have to wait until night.” He whines slightly, his thumb pressing over your sensitive nipple making you gasp slightly.

He decides he doesn't want to waste any more time and immediately wraps his lips around your nipple, pulling and suckling on your breast like a babe, he swirls his tongue and flicks it up and down the bud, Aemond hums in satisfaction when he feels the taste of your milk in his mouth.

He squeezes and fondles your other breast, rolling your nipple between his index and thumb finger and pulling meanly on it. Your breathing becomes shorter and faster as you begin to get aroused by his ministrations which prompts you to rub your thighs together trying to ease the throbbing between your legs with some friction.

It doesn't go unnoticed by Aemomd, but he instead focuses his attention to your other breast, repeating his actions and drinking your milk selfishly for himself, his teeth grazes against your bud and you wince slightly at the burn it causes only for him to bite onto it, making you whine and squirm before he sucks on it again as a way to soothe the pain he just caused. He pulls away with a wet pop and you take notice of the milk that's dripping from the side of his mouth and down to his neck which was such a perverse sight, yet you couldn't help make you feel more aroused so you guided his head back to your breast again.

And so he took your breast in his mouth once again, drinking all of your milk up you moaned in pleasure as his tongue flicker up and down your bud. You whimpered because you are sensitive from earlier feeding.

You felt him humping against your thigh as he tried ease the tension between his very own legs, he let go of your breast, unable to hold himself back anymore, he sat straight up and began to slip down his pants and take off his tunic, you did the same with your chemise, discarding it and throwing it someone to the side of your chamber.

He spreads your legs wide and lines his cock against your entrance slowly pushing it in, this causes you to tremble in excitement as his cock stretches you deliciously, you let out a gasp once he is fully settled. He lifts your hips off the mattress, holding you by your thighs as he slowly begins to move.

His thrusts were slow at first, almost as if he's teasing himself until he begins to pick up on the momentum, thrusting his hips back and forth, he begins to pick up the speed quite steadily.

You grind your hips to match his rhythm as your body jolts up and down the bed, your tits bouncing as a result, the moans of his name leave your lips like holy chants, “Aemond— oh fuck– right there– Aemond—!” all the while his tip is continuously hitting that sweet spot of yours, he grips one of your breasts and stares at it intently, “They look so good when they're swollen and full of milk.” He refers to your tits, he squeezes your tit slightly and watches as droplets of milk begin oozing out. “Oh gods— you're still full– fuck.” He quickly shifts his weight, dropping your lower body down onto the mattress and leaning forward to take your breast in his mouth while he fucks you.

“Seven fucking hells–— I don't think I can ever get enough of this ; perhaps I should keep you pregnant constantly, Yes? So your tits are always full of milk, for the babe” he grunts, his peak nearing as he mouths at your nipple. “And for me— ” His thrusts become more frantic and desperate, “You would like it wouldn't you? I know you would. You'd love to be full of me— I can only imagine how gorgeous you'd look, constantly waddling around while carrying my child— Answer me.” He growls. “Yes yes yes yes! yesyes! Aemond! I'd love it so so so much please please—” You babble as you feel your peak nearing. “Good girl— fuck!” He moans as he peaks, and your babbling is cut short as you gasp because you too reach your high right after him, the pleasure explodes inside you like a volcano, slowly seeping and coursing through your veins, you feel hot, warm, cold, suffocated all at the same time due to the intensity of the pleasure.

Aemond slows down his thrusts before fully stopping and pulling out, he watches as your cunt pushes out his spend to which he tuts disappointedly at before scooping it up with his finger and pushing it all back in.

“Here I am; planning to keep you full of my child and yet you're here denying it? Such a disobedient wife.” He slaps your clit as a punishment making you whimper, “I apologise— t'wasnt my intention.” You reply, breathlessly and he hums.

He lays down next to you, catching his breath along with you. You watch and his hands rests on your lower abdomen. He grabs you by your hips and turns you around to face him before he grabs the sheets and throws them over you both before pulling you close, your breasts pressing up against him, and the milk transfering over to his chest, making it sticky.

“Aem— it's messy.” Your voice comes out slurred and Aemond simply hums, “Let it be.” He hugs you even tighter, and you sigh, before wrapping your arm around his waist, hugging him back and you both slowly drift off into sleep.

— !  ݈݇- thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed it <3 comments and reblogs are appreciated greatly ♡

[munsonsmixtapes]

Say Don't Go

Evan "Buck" Buckley x fem!reader

summary: tensions rise between you and Buck as you find out that he works for you uncle and he learns you're Bobby's niece, forcing the two of you to make a decision on where your relationship stands

word count: 3k

part one part three part four part five part six

Buck could not believe it. The first woman he was attracted to in months was Bobby’s niece? He really was always getting dealt a shit hand. He was going to ask you out on an official date and bring you flowers and shower you with compliments and make stupid jokes to make the both of you less nervous. He supposed now that it was only a pipe dream. And all because you were related to his boss. 

“Bobby, I didn’t know you had a niece,” Buck spoke up, trying to seem nonchalant, as if he didn’t feel like he was going to throw up. And he did, the idea of running to the restroom sounding real inviting. 

“She’s my sister’s kid,” Bobby replied, pulling you into his side in a protective manner then pointed at the man. “Don’t get any ideas, Buck,” he said with a wink, but the threat seemed very serious. Too bad the ship had already sailed and was on the verge of sinking. 

You eyed Buck and shook your head as if to tell him to not come any closer. You wanted to speak to him about the whole situation, but you couldn’t without everyone noticing that the two of you had disappeared and jumped to their own conclusions. You were going to have to meet on your own time to avoid suspicions. Especially Bobby’s. 

The man had become very protective of you since the day you were born and would continue to do so until he took his last breath. Since your father was never in the picture, he felt the need to step up and be exactly what you needed. He was there for everything: your first steps, helping you ride a bike without training wheels, your first date. Yes, he sat in the back row of the movie theater, watching the two of you like a hawk, making sure the kid didn’t try anything. 

Bobby would not have been happy if he found out that Buck had even looked at you in a flirty manner let alone slept with you. It wasn’t that he didn’t think that Buck wasn’t fit to be your boyfriend, but more like any man wasn’t fit for the role. 

You eyed Buck practically the entire time but tried not to draw attention to yourself as you did it. Tension was rising and you really hoped that no one else could see it. Especially since you were the guest of honor and couldn’t fade into the background like you desperately wanted to. 

“Everyone,” Bobby stood behind you, resting his hands on your shoulders. “This is my niece, y/n. And I expect you all to welcome her as an honorary member of the 118. She’s going to be here for a while. Y/n, this is Hen and her wife Karen,” he pointed to the Black woman who was standing next to Buck. She gave you a hug and you were quick to return it. “And Buck and his sister, Maddie.” You looked at Buck and didn’t miss the look on his face as your eyes glanced at him to look at his sister. His face was white. Almost as if he had seen a ghost. You ignored it for the moment and tried your best to listen to Bobby’s introductions of his team. “And that’s Chimney,” Bobby gestured to the Asian man who was on Buck’s other side. Oh, you so had to hear the backstory about that nickname. “And Eddie and his son, Christopher.” You turned your attention to one of the most beautiful men you had ever seen and a young boy who was using crutches. 

Hugs were all passed around as you were introduced and you all mingled as you sipped on your drinks, waiting for dinner to be ready. You got into a conversation with Maddie about nursing, but you couldn’t help but let your eyes wander to her brother who had been in what looked a deep conversation with Eddie. You couldn’t help but feel like word about your night together was somehow going to get to your uncle and you didn’t even know why you cared so much. You were an adult now and really had no reason to hide to from Bobby. Maybe he’d be a little upset at first, but he’d come around. 

“So, that’s the girl you hooked up with the other night?” Eddie asked, holding back a laugh. It was just too good, almost like the plot of a telanovela he’d watched with Christopher. Of course something like that would have happened to Buck. That sounded exactly like something that would have happened to him. 

“Yes,” Buck nodded. 

“And she’s Bobby’s niece?” All Buck could do was glare at Eddie. It was almost as if he wasn't listening at all. And for once, this was a very serious matter. His life was doomed as he knew it and Eddie was just laughing it off as if it was all just a big joke. And Buck supposed that maybe it was.

“Yes. Weren’t you listening?” He was now on edge, for whatever reason, feeling paranoid that Bobby had been listening even though the man was all the way across the room joking around with Michael.

“Hey, relax," Eddie pat his friend's shoulder. Sometimes Buck just really needed to relax. "I’m just making sure I’m getting the facts right. I can't believe that out of all of the people in Los Angeles that you slept with Bobby's niece. Oh, Chim is gonna get a kick out of this."

Eddie burst into laughter, really getting a kick out of his friend's pain, but he couldn't help it. It was all just too funny to not laugh a little at the unfortunate events of his friend's life. He was just happy that he wasn't in Buck's shoes.

“But you're not gonna tell Chim," he gave Eddie a warning look. "This secret dies with us. And I swear if you tell Bobby-" Both of the men knew that whatever threat came out of Buck's mouth would be empty, but Eddie wanted to know what would have been in store for him if he had broken his promise.

“You’ll do what, Buck?” He crossed his arms over his chest, tilting his head to the side in curiosity.

“I don’t know, but It’ll be bad.”

“Sure, whatever you say, buddy." Eddie gave his shoulder a pat as Bobby had everyone gather around before they all sat down to eat.

“Alright, everyone dinner is served and before we sit, I’d to make a toast,” Bobby spoke up and you could see his eyes getting misty already. “The moment I held you after you were born, I knew that you’d be destined for greatness,” he started and you knew that his speech was going to be a tear jerker just like always. 

“I remember when you were three and insisted on fixing my “wounds” with your little doctor’s kit that I had gotten you for Christmas. You told me that you were going to be a nurse and save lives and look at you now. You graduated nursing school and got a job at your first choice hospital. I’m so proud of you, kiddo. So, if everyone would raise their glasses.” Everyone did as they asked as Bobby raised his own that was filled with soda. “To y/n,” he said. 

“To y/n,” everyone repeated and they all clinked their glasses together before cheering, giving you a round of applause. After the excitement died down, everyone sat down at the table, the only spot available being the one to the left of you that Buck was reluctant to occupy. 

“Oh-“ he said, cutting himself off and everyone was quick to turn to him. To them, it was just the only available seat. To you and Buck, though, it was more than that. If he sat next to you, the awkward tension would only rise and Buck really didn’t want to make it all about him when this was your party. 

“You can sit there, Buck,” Bobby told him. “Y/n doesn’t bite.” Buck’s mind immediately flashed to a couple of nights ago when you had done just that. When you had actually bitten him and been the cause of the healing hickey on his neck. 

“Yeah, Buck,” youpulled the chair out for him to take a seat. “I don’t bite,” you winked, a joke just between the two of you. Buck hesitantly sat next to you, being very obvious unlike you. He might as well have just told the entire table that the two of you had slept together while he was at it. 

“So, y/n,” Hen spoke up. “What’s your position at the hospital?” 

“Labor and delivery,” you told her. You always loved the idea of bringing new life into the world and after doing a few residencies and following nurses around who did just that, you knew that was the career for you. 

“That’s so admirable,” Hen smiled warmly. Just from what Bobby had told her about you, she was sure that you were going to do really well in the medical field. That you were a hard worker and never took no for an answer. “I’m sure you’re going to do great.” 

“Well, thank you. And thank you, Robert, for this amazing celebration,” you gestured to the all of the nurse themed decorations all over the main level of the house and even out on the patio where you were all sitting. 

“That was actually all Athena,” Bobby corrected, feeling like he should’ve let his wife take the credit for all the hard work she put in to make the house look nice. 

“Well, thank you, Athena,” you turned to the woman she nodded enthusiastically, wanting you to know just how much she enjoyed planning the entire thing for you, knowing that it meant a lot to Bobby because of how close he was to you. 

“Of course,” she replied. “It was my absolute pleasure.” 

You looked around at everyone sitting at the table and despite not knowing most of them, you felt but nothing but loved sitting at that table, discussing everything and nothing as you all ate the meal that Bobby prepared for you all. You had felt alone your entire life, only having Scarlett, your mom, and Bobby as your family and now all of the people he had been closest to were welcoming you into their world with open arms, and you couldn’t help but feel more lucky. 

You hesitantly turned to Buck and noticing him picking around his plate, the dish almost full signifying that he hadn’t really eaten anything. And you didn’t blame him. You hadn’t much of an appetite either considering the whole situation and for a second there, you completely had forgotten about him. It seemed that neither of you had the best luck in the dating apartment, so of course, as fate would have it, you couldn’t be together. Or more like shouldn’t considering the whole situation. It would have just been weird and awkward and maybe it would have just been for the best if you just left it at a one night stand. 

Dinner came to a close and by the end of it, you were all sharing funny stories from your careers and just from the one meal you had with them, you knew you were going to enjoy spending more time with them. Maybe if you asked Bobby, you all could have had more meals together like you had heard they did at the 118. You would have really enjoyed that. You were really looking forward to having a real family. 

The members of the 118 all lingered at the door like usual, all hesitant to go back to their homes. All except Buck. He was getting antsy to get the hell out of there and to probably never speak to you again. He could run into a burning building without batting an eye, but when it came to his personal life, all he wanted to do was run away. He absolutely hated confrontation and was going to avoid the inevitable as long as possible.

He looked at you, watching you laugh with his sister and could easily see the three of you getting together for dinner. You'd sit next to him and his hand would reach for yours and you'd give him a warm smile as Maddie looked at the both of you, so happy that her brother had finally real, true love.

The dream quickly faded away as Buck accepted that he was going to let you slip through his fingers. The whole thing was just too complicated and he wasn't going to put you through all of that, especially since you were just getting started with your career. You already had too much on your plate and he didn't think there was enough room for him.

"Right, Buck?" Bobby asked, giving his shoulder a pat and Buck turned to the man in confusion, not even aware that he was even being spoken to.

"I'm sorry, what?" You were still swirling around in his mind even though he was trying hard to focus on what Bobby had been saying.

"You're coming in on time tomorrow, right?" He had still been teasing about him being late a couple of days ago and Buck just rolled his eyes. Now he didn't have a reason to be late anymore and he kind of hated it.

"Yes sir," Buck nodded. "Good night, Bobby."

"Good night, Buck." Bobby gave his shoulder a squeeze and Buck gave you one last look before turning on his heel to head to his jeep.

You watched Buck walk to his vehicle, wondering why he had said goodbye to everyone but you. What, so he found out that you were Bobby's niece and now he was giving you the silent treatment? How was that fair? Maybe everything that happened that night was all part of an act and now he was just showing you his true self.

So maybe that night wasn't as special to you as it was to him. You had even considered asking him out, but now you guessed you had just dogged a bullet. He was just like the other's and at least this one saved you the headache by ghosting you instead of pursuing you only to show no interest in you the entire duration the relationship. You supposed it saved you some tissues knowing who he was from the get go.

One week later

You pulled up to the fire station, feeling anger course through you as you put Scarlett's car in park. You had tried to reach out to Buck multiple times since the party only to be met by nothing but silence. Even if nothing happened between the two of you, you felt like you at least deserved an explanation. Didn't your feelings matter too? Apparently not to him.

So, you decided to show up the one place he couldn't run from so you could have a conversation with him. You weren't sure how you were going to do that with all those people around, but you'd figure things out. You always did.

You marched into the station, scanning the place for Buck and noticed that everyone was surrounding the engine, wiping it down or cleaning the interior. Eddie was the first to spot you and he pointed wordlessly to the other side of the engine, assuming that you were there for Buck.

You rounded the back of the engine and made a beeline for the man, grabbing onto his arm, pulling him somewhere more private, deciding that right by the bathrooms was really the only spot that was as out of sight as you could get. You stopped there and Buck could practically see the flames forming in your eyes because of how angry you were. Women had been mad at him more times than he could count, but never like that. If looks could kill, he definitely would have been dead.

"You're an asshole," you told him, trying your best not to yell. For once, Buck was very aware of the hurt he had caused. And now he was paying for it. With the way you were balling your fists, you looked like you were going to punch him, and for the first time, he was going to take it because he felt like he deserved it.

"Am I?" He asked, cocking his head to the side. Buck didn't know why he was being such a dick, but now he felt like he had stick with it since he had already committed to the role. He honestly wasn't expecting you to show up. The most he ever got was an angry phone call. Perhaps you showing up was a sign that you weren't willing to give up on him like everyone else.

"Yes!" Your voice was a little loud, but you couldn't have cared less. He deserved to know just how angry you were and for once, you didn't care about embarrassing him. That was the least he deserved.

"I had a really nice time with you. You made me feel special. I hadn't slept with anyone in a long time and I trusted you. I trusted you, Evan. And then you find out that Bobby's my uncle and you run? If you didn't want to see me again, the least you could have done was told me. But no, you're nothing but a coward."

Bobby stood on the other side of the wall, listening to the entire thing. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but he had left the restroom just as you and Buck went to block the exit and he couldn't have passed without revealing that he had heard everything and he couldn't have that. At least, not yet. Tension was already high and he didn't want to make it worse.

Bobby didn't know what was worse, hearing that you had slept with Buck, or the fact that he made you cry. So not only did the guy sleep with you, but he also completely ghosted you and hurt your feelings. That was three strikes so Buck was out. At least, for the near future. Just as you were leaving, the sirens went off, signaling that there was a call.

Buck tried to follow you, but Eddie stopped him and Buck watched you leave from over Eddie's shoulder. Eddie turned him around and pushed Buck towards the engine, but Bobby stopped him.

"I'm benching you today, Buck." Maybe it was wrong of him to bring his personal life into work, but nobody was allowed to hurt his little girl. Not even Buck. Especially not Buck.

"Why?" Buck didn't like the assumption his brain was coming to and he really didn't like being benched after being yelled at by a girl he really liked.

"I'm the captain and what I say goes. The dishes really need to be done, so could you take care of that?" With that, Bobby got into the engine and both it and the truck pulled out of the station, leaving Buck with nothing but his thoughts and a sink full of dishes that needed to be done.

[finelinevogue]

but what is she surprises aaron with flowers and a bath. where she’s looking after him but he’s like you need to be in here with me to be perfect. because this man never lets himself be taken care of 😭

aaaahhhh omg no i will cry this is so cute for v day 🥹🥹🥹🥹 okay let’s do it!

pairing - aaron hotchner x wife!reader

word count - ~1.5k

In your opinion; being married to someone does not mean you stop dating that person.

Your person happened to be the workaholic, grump, that is Aaron Hotchner. Not only is he the Unit Chief of the BAU in the FBI, but he is also more importantly your husband and father to three.

“That’s so pretty, Cassie-baby.” You cooed at your daughter who was drawing her dad a valentine’s day card.

Aaron does so much for his team at work and even more at home for you, so you decided to treat him extra special on this extra special day.

Cassie, your 2 year old, Dylan, your 5 year old and Jack your 10 year old were all sitting at the kitchen table perfecting their valentines day cards for their dad.

You had given yours to Aaron already.

“Mm.”

Aaron sighed as he felt your kisses trail over his exposed back. His face was shoved into his pillow, head turned away from you, as he was softly woken from his sleep.

“Morning.” You kissed him again, leaning further over his body so you could kiss his neck closer to his face.

“I love you, but why are you awake?” His voice was so low and muffled that it did something to your core.

“It’s valentines day.”

Aaron smiled in response. He of course knew what day it was, he just hadn’t expected you to wake up at 5AM just so you could tell him that.

He did appreciate the gesture though.

“I’ve got something for you.” You whispered into his ear, before giving his lobe a soft kiss and small bite. Aaron happily sighed at the feeling.

You handed him his card and told him that you were going to take an indulgent shower.

You watched Aaron flick on the bedside light about to open and read the card you had gifted him. He took pride in caring for things like this. That’s when he saw the clock on the bedside table.

4:45AM.

“Honey, not that I don’t love the fuss but you’ve woken me up 15 minutes early.” Aaron whined, because he did love his sleep regardless of how much he looked like he didn’t.

“Did I?” You asked, slipping off your pyjama top so you were bare, “Or did I just give us an extra 15 minutes to take a shower together?”

You left him to think on that question.

But you knew you made the right choice when less than thirty seconds later Aaron came up behind you in the shower.

Before you could go down that route in your mind, you returned to helping your kids out.

“Jack, that’s amazing bud.” You gasped. He’d drawn a picture of the whole family and labelled everyone too for good measure. “Uhh, who’s this?” You pointed.

“That’s our dog.” He explained.

“We don’t have a dog.” You said, confused.

“We will. I’m working on it.” He nodded and you had to laugh at the boy’s ambition. You no doubt probably would end up with a dog, because Aaron could not say ‘no’ to his kids.

Dylan was writing his name super neatly - for a 5 year old - at the bottom of his card.

“Wow, Dyl-man. You’re so clever.” You kissed his head.

“I know.” He smiled up at you.

“Daddy will be home in an hour, okay? So let’s finish these and then get our pyjamas on before dinner.”

<.><.><.>

When Aaron came home the first thing he noticed was how quiet it was.

Normally there was at least one child screaming, or dinner was coking, or even the TV was on for the kids to watch. This evening there was nothing.

“Honey?” Aaron called out.

He took off his blazer and hung it on the staircase, dropping his briefcase next to it.

He stood there for another moment, looking around the house and undoing his tie so he could place it next to his blazer.

“Y/N?” He called out again - more concerned this time.

He walked into the kitchen and noticed that the oven was on with his dinner being warmed inside.

The thing that caught his eyes though was the trio of cards sat on the table that were all addressed to him. He picked them up one-by-one and admired the drawings and writings inside.

He had really poor artists for children but at the same time Aaron believed they were all MOMA worthy.

Aaron fetched a glass of water after reading the cards, keeping them propped up so everyone could see. Now he wanted to see his family to give them all the kisses they deserved.

He went upstairs to the kids playroom.

It was there that he found everyone.

You were wall inside the massive fort that Aaron had helped Jack make last weekend. It was a wonder it was still standing actually.

The fort was huge and nearly spanning the whole room. It was a combination of random bedsheets and blankets, along with strings of tiny, hanging, fairy lights and fluffy pillows to cover the floor.

Aaron leaned against the door as he watched you read a book to your children. They were all in their pyjamas, tucked under blankets and wearing sleepy faces. Cassie was already asleep against your chest, but Dylan and Jack were trying their best to pay attention to you and the story.

“Room for one more?” Aaron asked as he knelt down in front of the fort entrance.

“Daddy!” Dylan cheered, perking up at the sight of his dad. Jack was the same, but Cassie was too asleep to notice.

“Hey, my buddies.” Aaron laughed as his sons hugged him tight. He hugged them back tighter.

“We missed you.” Jack said.

“I miss you too.” He kissed Jack’s head and then thought it was only fair he did the same to Dylan’s. He would kiss Cassie’s when he put her to bed later.

Aaron looked over his sons to where you were laid looking at them all - a loving smile on your face.

Aaron mouthed ‘I love you’ to you and you mouthed it back, before Aaron clambered into the fort and settled down for the rest of the bedtime story.

<.><.><.>

You sat with Aaron as he had his dinner.

“Was Spencer any better today?” You asked, drying the dishes that you had cleaned before.

“He was okay. He was okay enough to talk about the origins of beans for half an hour, at least:” Aaron chuckled as he drank from his water.

“Origins of beans?” You questioned.

“Don’t ask.” Aaron rolled his eyes, before tucking back into his dinner.

You were both happy to be silent in each other’s company as Aaron ate and you dried and put away dishes. The kids had been put to bed an hour or so ago, so it was just you two for the night now.

“Dinner okay?” You asked.

You came up beside Aaron and brushed a hand through his hair. His arm wrapped around your waist as he kept you close against him as he ate.

“Mhm. Lovely, thank you.”

You smiled as you accepted his politeness.

You bent over to kiss his head - something you as a family did a lot. Even Jack had started doing it to his siblings after seeing you and Aaron do it all the time.

“You need a shower.” You said, pulling back from his head.

Aaron pinched your side gently, “Love you too.” He said sarcastically.

“Oi!” You laughed.

“Supposed to be nice to each other today.”

“What? Just because it’s valentines day?”

“Yes.” Aaron finished his meal and twisted in his chair so you stood between his legs. His other arm came around your waist so you were trapped against him.

You steadily brushed his hair into formation after having ruined it a little when you’d messed with it before.

“I love you every day, not just because it’s valentines day.” You explained. “Do you?”

“Did you just ask me whether I love you every day?” Aaron scoffed.

“Well?”

“Sweetheart, there hasn’t been a day since I met you that I haven’t loved you. I just love you a little extra today.”

“Oh you do, do you?” You teased.

“Mhm.”

“Well if you love me that much…” You said seductively, leaning down as Aaron’s head tilted back in anticipation of kissing you. Just as you were about to kiss him you whispered, “… Then you can clean your own dishes.”

You leant back up and left Aaron hanging.

He raised an eyebrow in challenge over your actions and you knew that you’d pay for your teasing later. For now he could clean his dishes - alone.

You needed him alone in order to prepare the next part of his valentines day.

<.><.><.>

Aaron trudged up the stairs after turning off the lights downstairs and setting the alarm.

He unbuttoned his shirt a little as he reached the top, stopping at three when he focused on checking on his kids instead.

Each of them were sleeping when he checked.

They were all safe and that’s all that Aaron needed reassuring of.

He walked into your bedroom next and noticed you weren’t in bed reading like he had expected you to be.

He shut the bedroom door and called your name.

“In here.” You responded from the bathroom.

Aaron’s shirt was now all the way unbuttoned but he kept it on as he entered the bathroom.

He knocked as he entered to give you time to tell him to get out if needed.

“Yeah?”

Aaron watched as you checked the temperature of the bath water, which was filled with bubbles, before shaking off the water and rolling your sleeve back down.

The bathroom smelt like those calming bath salts Penelope had bought for both of you.

“What’s all this?” Aaron asked, gesturing to the bath and the warm glowing candles on the counter.

“Happy valentines day.” You smiled.

“Honey.” Aaron pouted as he looked from the room to you, standing there with a smile that would bring even the grumpiest of men to their knees. “This is for me?”

“Yeah. Enjoy.” You leant up to kiss his cheek as you tried to walk past him, but he caught your arm before you could.

“Woah, woah. Where are you going?”

“Uh.. To let you enjoy this.” You furrowed your brows.

“How?” He asked seriously.

“What?”

“How am I supposed to enjoy this, without you?”

His question made your brows soften and you couldn’t help but fall in love with him a little bit more.

“You do so much for us Aaron. Thought you might want a moment of peace.”

“Well you thought wrong, because all I want right now is you.” He leant down to kiss you, “And that bath.”

You laughed into the kiss he was giving you, “Okay then. You, me and the bath it is.”

[archivesainz]

in that summer ˚✧ ₊˚ 🌊 sv5

. . . Sebastian and Y/n go on a vacation with the kids, but they're not together. Something goes to change. .

genre: sebastian dad! pregnancy mention, smut, creampie, ex husband and ex wife.

pairing: sebastian vettel x y/n (reader she/her)

a/n: english is NOT my first language, so if have any errors please tell me.

The 6-year-old boy let out a hot laugh every time his father picked him up and threw him in the air, leaving him on the floor again and running after him next.

- "Dad will get you!" - Sebastian said aloud as he ran after his son, not to mention the laugh when he stumbled and fell with his ass to the floor, releasing a childish laugh.

Sebastian ran quickly to the boy checking to see if he was okay. Isaac smiled at his father, showing his beautiful dimples along with his perfect blue eyes, matching his little blonde hair with a messy bangs, a copy of Sebastian.

- "How are you, big boy?" - Sebastian asked the little boy, getting up and taking him on his lap quickly, fixing his little blouse with a drawing of some fishes in front.

- "Yes, dad, I'm fine." - Isaac answered him, getting a kiss on the chubby cheek. His little hands holding Sebastian' black shirt as they went to the kitchen.

It was a vacation and there was the Vettel family, it had only been a few weeks since they were in a very quiet and familiar resort where everyone had a lot of fun - especially the children - and relaxed from months of work and daily stresses.

But there was a catch. Sebastian and Y/n were not together. Yes, the couple decided to make that trip for the children. They knew how much they wanted and needed a moment with the whole family together. So they talked and decided to travel.

Things weren't exactly good between the two. It was hard to hear the children repeatedly asking if "Dad will go back to live with us, mom?" Or "Daddy, are you going to go back to live at home?" Anyway... they were just children who wanted to see their parents together again.

Sebastian and Y/n had broken up about 4 years ago, when the couple's youngest daughter was born. To tell you the truth, they weren't exactly together when the girl was close to being born, but they still lived together.

There was no way to explain specifically what happened for the two to separate. There were many reasons, and the main one was the routine. Sebastian worked too much, always very tired and when he got home the rest of his energy was spent by his eldest son, at the time still a baby.

Y/n also worked, but spent most of her time taking care of her son, not that she didn't like it, she loved to take care of her little boy. The problem is that she was very overwhelmed and this generated fights and more fights between the couple.

So after many nights of discussions and reconciliations with raw and dirty sexes, Ivy was born. Well, many things happened after that, and after a while Y/n couldn't stand that tense and heavy atmosphere that stayed at home anymore, and she couldn't handle all that being pregnant and having to take care of a child.

They separated and Sebastian left home. Leaving Y/n shaken. However, Sebastian never moved away from his children, he always came back to see them and whenever he had time he went out with the children. Ivy stayed more with her mother, of course, because she was very young. But Sebastian didn't stop her from nusting and giving her all her love and affection.

- "I want mom.." - Isaac grumbled on Sebastian's lap, when he entered the kitchen seeing Y/n sitting at the table while feeding Ivy. She looked at herself over her shoulder, that look that Sebastian knew very well.

Sebastian put his son on the floor watching him walk to his mother, who ran her hand on his straight hair, asking him softly if he was okay.

- "Did you fall love, did you get hurt?" - Y/n asked carefully.

- "Fall but Dad caught me, I'm fine mom." - He replied looking at the little sister who had her right little hand on her curly hair while the other leaned on her mother's chest while drinking her vitamin in her moana's cup.

Ivy was born full of health and joy. The little girl had a lot of energy and was the princess of her parents. The brown hair full of curls, the big and green eyes like the mother's, and the full mouth that also pulled the mother. The only thing that reminded her father was her little nose and eyebrows. And she also had no dimples, unlike her brother.

- "I want water." - Isaac asked while rubbing his face in his mother's hot hand, liking the affection he received.

- "Ask your father love, I'm feeding your sister now."

The little boy nodded walking to his father again who was leaning against the kitchen countertop, his blue eyes staring with affection Y/n feeding Ivy.

Isaac came close to his father touching his legs and having his eyes on himself next.

- "Water daddy." - Sebastian waved taking his son's spider man's glass in the closet and putting water then, giving the boy's little hands watching him drink. He handed the glass to his father when he drank everything and ran back to the living room to play with his various toys.

Sebastian approached Y/n, seeing when she put her sleepy daughter on her lap while wiping the little girl's mouth with a cloth.

- "Tell me soon, I know you're dying to complain." - Sebastian started crossing his arms under his chest, leaning against the wall.

- "These jokes of yours will end up hurting Isaac. I already told you that." - Y/n complained, the irritation was palpable in her voice.

- "It won't hurt, he just fell Y/n, children fall.. and he's growing up too, a lot of energy."- He said watching her walk through the kitchen.

- You know, Sebastian. - Y/n said rolling her eyes, going towards the living room.

Sebastian snorted by running his hands through his hair, he was angry and all he wanted was for things to be as before, he missed Y/n, he missed being a family with her, with the children.

He expected things to change on that trip.

(...)

- "Where do you think you're going like this?" - That's what Sebastian asked when he saw Y/n get out of the bathroom. He was sitting on the couple's bed - Sebastian did not sleep there to tell the truth - while watching the two children playing on top of her, when Y/n came out only in a bikini and short beach shorts.

- "I'm going to sunbathe in the pool, take care of the children for me?" - She asked not looking very interested in giving satisfaction to her ex-husband.

- "Y/n." - Sebastian got up, leaving the pillows near his children so they wouldn't fall out of bed, and walked to Y/n, who took her eyes off her cell phone staring at him - "You won't go out like that alone, if you're going out we'll all go together."- He said, jealousy burning inside your body.

Y/n frowned, observing Sebastian' angry and jealous face. She knew him so well. She approached her ex-husband seeing when he looked down at her breasts.

- "You don't decide whether or not I go out alone Sebastian, and no, we're not all going out together. I need some time for myself." - She said slightly irritated by Sebastian' jealous attitude.

- "Look at this.." - Sebastian said looking at Y/n's big tits - Everyone will look at you, and you know very well that I hate it Y/n.

- "But it's really to look at, I'm single." - She said debauched, but swallowed it dry when Sebastian locked her jaw.

- "Fuck you're annoying me." - He said turning his face to his children who were playing, not caring about the parents arguing there - "Please.. let's all go together, yes?" - He asked, watching Y/n roll his eyes.

- "No, I'm going alone. Take care of the children, I won't be long." - She walked away from Sebastian going towards her children, saying goodbye with kisses and smells.

Before Y/n left the room, Sebastian went after her, stoping her at the door. Y/n snorted angry, but loving to see Sebastian dying of jealousy and running after him like a domestic puppy.

- "What is it Sebastian" - She asked without patience.

- "Just be careful, okay?" - He said running his hand through Y/n's long, curly hair. She waved, liking the affection. - "And don't forget Y/n" - He held her chin - "You're still mine and these tits here" - He looked down - "They're mine." - And before Y/n could answer, he entered the room again slamming the door, leaving Y/n with hers heart racing without containing the naughty smile on her face.

Things would never change apparently, and even if Y/n tried not to fall into Sebastian's sly and seductive charm, she never could, her heart always spoke more for itself than her mind.

The whole thing is that Y/n didn't want to get hurt again. It was difficult to live without Sebastian, even though he had some passing cases, no one would ever be like him. And Y/n knew that his heart would always belong to Sebastian, after all, it was always him. Y/n knew that he would forever have a bond with him, and she still hoped that one day they would go back to what they were before. A happy and united family.

(...)

Sebastian was at the resort gym, it was about ten in the morning, and he had already been there for almost an hour. Working out lightly because I was on vacation. His little boy was also there playing in a corner with his toys, while Y/n was with Ivy at home.

Isaac watched Sebastian carefully making a treadmill, his curious little blue eyes thinking that it was a toy, so he leaned his little hands on the floor and pushed his body up standing up and walking to his father.

When he approached Sebastian automatically put his eyes on the boy, taking off his headphones to hear what his son was saying.

- "Daddy's toy?" - He asked pointing to the treadmill, approaching curiously. Sebastian quickly slowed down and turned off the device, telling his son to move away.

- "Don't, it's not a toy, don't get close, you can get hurt." - He said taking the little boy's arm and pushing him away. Isaac looked up staring at Sebastian's sweaty face, he was shirtless and only wearing black shorts, his body all sweaty.

- "I want to go up!" - The boy asked slyly. Sebastian bent down at the height of his son fixing his straight hair.

- "Isaac can't."

- "I want to go up daddy.. to play." - Isaac kept insisting, wanting more than anything to walk on the "toy"

- "It's not a toy son, is it to train hm?" - Sebastian smiled - "Be strong like dad." - He showed the muscles of his arm, pulling a childish laugh from his son.

- "I want to be like daddy!!" - Isaac said excited, imitating his father's previous movement and showing his chubby little arms.

Sebastian smiled, kissing his son's head. He took him in the arm putting the boy on the treadmill, Sebastian supported his feet next to the machine turning it on and putting it at speed 2 very slowly, so that his son did not fall.

- "You have to keep walking son, will dad hold you so you don't fall all right?" - He said holding both arms of Isaac who agreed with his head, smiling when he saw the treadmill walking under his little feet.

- "Faster!" - The little boy asked excitedly, Sebastian smiled putting it at speed 3 while holding his son carefully, while the child ran on the treadmill.

- "Run, run.. Wow! How fast you are Isaac."- Sebastian increased the speed to 5, Isaac let out a hot laugh running with all his strength while Sebastian held him.

- "I'm faster than Dad" - The boy said loudly, his little feet running non-stop on the treadmill. Your little hair is already sticking to your forehead due to sweat.

- "I want to see if it runs more than that." - Sebastian said fun increasing the speed to 7. The little boy screamed smiling and before he fell Sebastian stopped the machine taking him in his lap and throwing him up, the childish and hot laugh echoed through the empty gym, making his drooling father's heart warm up.

- "More, more, more!!!" - Isaac screamed when Sebastian put him on the floor, taking his water bottle and drinking to hydrate himself.

- "It's better not son, I'm tired and if your mother knows..."

- "Did you know what Sebastian Vettel?" - He choked on the water turning his face and seeing Y/n standing at the entrance of the gym, holding Ivy's little hand that seemed very entertained on her lollipop.

- "Nothing.. it's nothing, isn't it, son?" - He turned his face in the direction of the boy who was already running to his mother.

- "Mom! Mom! Dad let me play running on the floor that walks." - That's what he heard when he felt Y/n's sharp look towards him, he swallowed it dry, knowing that there was another complaint.

Yeah, sometimes Sebastian looked like a child, afraid of his mother (Y/n).

Hours later and they were all in a luxurious restaurant near the resort. All well dressed. Ivy was wearing a little white dress and in her blonde hair an adorable bow of the same color, her little hands with pink painted nails. Isaac was wearing black pants and a burberry blouse, his little legs swinging on the chair while eating.

Y/n was elegant in a burgundy dress, his beautiful smooth and thick legs to show and his big breasts highlighted by the neckline, which was devoured by Sebastian's look.

And Sebastian was perfect as always. A simple black pants and a black turtleneck T-shirt, elegant and a hot total in Y/n's opinion, who held on so as not to let out a sigh every minute, she loved it when he wore a turtleneck.

- "Can you cut for me daddy, please?" - Isaac asked politely to his father who waved cutting a small piece of meat in his son's mouth. Ivy ate next to her mother who also helped her.

- "Are you thirsty , princess?" - Y/n asked her, wiping her dirty mouth in soak.

- "Yes mom, I want juice." - She asked, her beautiful green eyes shining in the direction of her mother, who answered her request by helping her drink the lemon juice. Without containing the smile when the girl made a face.

- "So, tell mom how it was today, did you have fun?" - Y/n asked her children, while noticing Sebastian's look on her, to tell the truth she would never get used to those blue eyes looking so carefully at her details, it was something Y/n always loved about Sebastian.

- "Yes, Dad let me play at the gym and then rode a bike with me!" - Isaac said excited, his dimples like all his mouth dirty with soak. Sebastian smiled affectionately.

- "What a good son, your father is kind of crazy for letting you play on the treadmill.." - She gave a mischievous look at Sebastian who smirked for her.

- "But I'm glad you had fun." - Y/n said running her hand through the boy's hair, who waved, chewing. She turned her gaze to her daughter who practically slept sitting.

- "Are you very tired of today, my dear?" - Sebastian asked her, cleaning Isaac's mouth. The little girl blinked her heavy green eyes, smiling.

- "Yes, dad, mom and I had a day of beauty"- She said confident laughing from her parents, for the way she spoke the words taggled because of sleep.

- "Okay?" - She confirmed, Sebastian approached the little girl taking her little hand and seeing her painted nails.

- "It was beautiful, daughter. You look as beautiful as your mother.." - He said looking away at Y/'n who smirked exposing a dimple.

- "Mom is beautiful!!!" - The girl confirmed, smiling at her father who smoothed her little hand.

- "Absolutely love.. for sure." - Sebastian waved sending a naughty look to Y/n who smiled denying it with her head, helping her son to eat.

After a few hours, they decided to go back to the resort. The children were tired and didn't take long to fall asleep, so as soon as they arrived and changed them, their parents put them in the room.

- "Good night, loves of my life. I love you." - Sebastian said giving a long kiss on the head of his two sleepy children. Watching Y/n do the same before leaving the room.

-"Mom loves you. Sleep well." - That's what Y/n whispered to her children, fixing them right in bed and left more affectionate kisses all over their little face and left the room leaving the door half-open.

🌊

She saw Sebastian leaning against the wall and approached him, his gaze burning with desire in the direction of Sebastian who smirked, knowing more than anyone that look that only Y/n sent him.

- "Too tired?" - He asked crossing his arms.

- "Very.. you have no idea." - Y/n said in an ironic tone, when she rolled her eyes and went to her room, ready to take a shower and relieve her sexual tension. Before she entered the room she felt her arm being grabbed without force by Sebastian, who turned him facing her, grabbing her waist then, Y/n gasped putting her hands on her ex-husband's little breastplate.

- "Where do you think you're going hm?" - He asked, your rogue smile without leaving your face.

- "Rest.. know how to relax." - Y/n approached Sebastian's ear whispering softly: - "I'm so horny, I think I need to relieve myself."

Sebastian took a deep breath, climbing his hand to Y/n's hair where he pulled without much force, he brought his face closer to the fragrant neck passing his nose to her delicate jaw, reaching his ear where he left a wet kiss right below, smiling when he felt Y/n tremble in his arms.

- "I'll help you with that." - She denied it with her head, Sebastian smiled softly against Y/n's warm skin that felt even more wet. He walked away leaving wet kisses all over her neck, got close to her fleshy mouth lightly relacing his lips when he saw Y/n grunting irritated by the provocation. He walked away a little further holding Y/n's face with his hand and watching her give him a submissive look that Sebastian loved. - "Don't play hard Y/n, we both know the little desperate little girl for my cock that you are."

- "So convinced.." - Y/n smiled, biting her lips.

- "Oh you know that yes, and you know even better that only I know how to take care of you babe." - He lowered his voice - "Only I know how to make you cum very hot on my cock - Y/n let a moan escape from her lips, she couldn't help it, she always loved the way Sebastian treated her in sex, the things he said made her so wet. And she knew he liked that.

- "P-please.." - She asked sighing, Sebastian smiled taking his hand off Y/n's face and going down to her waist, feeling her arms on his shoulders soon after.

- "My little whore." - Sebastian whispered, leaving a wet peck on Y/n's lips, she lowered the collar of Sebastian's T-shirt scratching her neck lightly and couldn't stand the provocation anymore, glued her mouths together.

The taste of the wine they had ordered earlier was palpable on their lips, and Y/n grunted during the kiss feeling Sebastian's skillful tongue suck his hard. She missed that kiss and that footprint.

Sebastian pulled his lower lip slowly, passing his tongue then to relieve the pain, leaving a long peck on Y/n before plunging his tongue into her mouth again, she who squeezed the back of her neck and scratched while Sebastian squeezed her waist tightly. He pushed Y/n to the wall that moved her mouth away from her to breathe, opening her eyes and seeing Sebastian's red mouth and rogue smile.

- "So delicious.. I missed your hot little mouth love." - He whispered making the hairs of his arms to get goosebumps, he approached him again leaving a kiss in the corner of her red lips and talking softly near your ear: - "I really want to fuck you very hard in the shower, what do you think?"

- "Yes.. I want everything from you Sebastian" - Y/n confessed sighing feeling the warm breath of Sebastian who kissed her whole neck with devotion - "Do you fuck me hm? That way only you know love." - She said softly running her hands through

Sebastian's hair who walked away smiling.

He held his hand and opened the bedroom door, then locked it. Then they would go to the large suite of the luxurious room, Y/n leaning on the sink with a naughty smile watching Sebastian close the door, when he approached him again starting a new kissing session.

Y/n pulled Sebastians' T-shirt up during the kiss, he who soon walked away taking it off and throwing it away. She couldn't help but look down through the little spotted body, the volume of the big cock already very visible in the black pants.

- "Do you like the view?" - Sebastian asked convinced, Y/n agreed with her head biting her lips.

- "Yummy.." - She spoke quietly. Sebastian smiled, raising his hand to Y/n's thick thighs, lowering his gaze and seeing the breasts he loved so much in front of him.

- "Do you miss when I sucked on your very hot breasts?" - He asks softly, continuing to raise his hand into Y/n's dress, which where he felt Sebastian's hand got even more wet. - "Or rather.." - He arrives in Y/n's lace panties without containing the little smile when she closes her eyes and throws her head back, feeling his hand touching the hard clit - "When did I fuck them with my cock?"

- "Sebastian..." - Y/n moans in need, she rests her hands on her ex-husband's firm shoulders, feeling his finger rubbing hot on her sensitive clitoris.

- "Impressive Y/n. No matter how much time passes, you will always be so sensitive to my touches." - He ran his nose on Y/n's fragrant collarbone going up her neck and delighting in his panting breath in her ear - "A bitch so needs a cock." - And Y/n opens her eyes when he moves away, taking off his pants. Y/n does the same by starting to take off her dress, anxiously.

When the two are naked, Y/n throws a naughty look at Sebastian who wrapped his big cock with a hand masturbating watching Y/n's chubby pussy, he looked up at her eyes speaking authoritatively: - "To the shower. Now." Yn didn't even hesitate to go quickly, entering the large and spacious box, she turned on the shower feeling the strong jet of water hit her hot body, closing her eyes and enjoying it, knowing that Sebastian was watching her.

- "Turns." - She heard Y/n say opening her eyes and seeing him facing her inside the box. He masturbated his thick cock and full of veins jumped slowly, the bright red head with the pre-entment leaking from the slit.

Y/n bit her lip turning around and prancing her wet ass towards Sebastian, hearing him sigh heavily. She smiled naughty shaking slowly while the water wet her body, a fucking hot scene.

- "Do you like it like that, love?" - She ran her hand through her ass giving a strong slap on her wet skin. Sebastian increased the speed of the handjob moaning quietly with his eyesight.

- "Are you going to roll like that on my dick?" - He asked panting.

Y/n turned in front of him again approaching Sebastian's spotted body, she was kneeling slowly for all the glory of the ex-husband who felt more pre-joyment leaking from his cock.

- "First, baby.." - She said touching her strong thighs - "I want you to fuck my breasts." - She licked the red glans, watching Sebastian lock his jaw. - "And then... I'm going to roll and you're going to fuck me very tasty against the box." - Y/n smiled feeling a slight slap on the cheek, Sebastian held her wet hair masturbating the cock very close to her face and hitting her on Y/n's pink cheek.

- "Be quiet and open your fucking mouth." - He told her to watch Y/n wave. She did what was asked and opened her mouth to Sebastian, who stuck his cock inside to make it very wet. Then he left positioning the cock in the middle of Y/n's breasts, she who squeezed him between them.

- "Damn.." - He moaned starting to stock up, everything slipped easily because of Y/n's wet skin who had her eyes glazed on Sebastian who bit his lips moaning softly.

Sebastian supported a hand on the side of Y/n's neck, starting to stock up harder. She who with one hand squeezed his balls and the other leaned on her waist, looking at herself horny.

- "Go love, fuck my tits hm.." - Y/n said almost in a moan, which made Sebastian roll his eyes and slap her pink cheek hard. Y/n whimpered at the burning, then smiling at her ex-husband.

- "Fuck you whore, look at me like this again that I'm going to cum on this beautiful little face of yours." - Sebastian moaned when Y/n licked the sensitive head of his cock, staring at him like that again.

- "Oh fuck.." - He threw his head back taking his cock out of the middle of Y/n's breasts, masturbating fast on the hot tongue of the greedy little whore. Cumming minutes later in Y/n's little mouth and big wet tits.

- "Always delicious.." - Y/n said after a while, getting up and being pushed under the shower, where Sebastian kissed her willingly feeling his own taste.

Y/n reached Sebastian's cock masturbating him lightly to make him hard, which didn't take long. Soon after, she went up scratching Sebastian's abdomen that walked away throwing a silly look at her, Y/n felt her pussy contract with it.

- "Fuck me." - She asked sly, Sebastian just turned Y/n with brutality under the glass of the box. She leaned her hands behind her back as if she were handcuffed, Sebastian masturbated by opening Y/n's wet ass and rubbing his hard and wet cock in the little entrance that contracts anxiously.

- "Sebastian!" - Y/n moaned when he came in for good, starting to stock up. Sebastian held in her arms, while Y/n had her cheek prot in the wet box of the bathroom, her breathing hitting against the glass along with the noise of the bodies crashing under the water in the shower.

- "Hm.. it's still so tight for me, because you know I like it, isn't it a little bitch?" - He said behind him, without stopping stocking up. Y/n moaned feeling Sebastian's hot and wet cock stocking on her little cunt.

- "Yes Sebastian.. fuck your whore!" - Y/n contracted the pussy on Sebastian's cock that grunted excited stocking up hard and non-stop while moaning hoarsely.

The wet bodies collided hard under the shower, the water fell on Sebastian's chest and Y/n's big ass that hit his groin hard, while the two moaned too much at the moment.

- "Fuck" - Sebastian moaned - "Good as fuck." - Y/n got even more wet moaning. She leaned one hand on the glass going down the other to her little clit where she rubbed hard.

- "I'm going to c-cum Seb.. fuck I'm going to cum on your cock." - Y/n moaned with her mouth glued to the box, feeling Sebastian' shead resting on her wet back while he also moaned to himself.

- "Make fun of me that I'm going to fill you with cum." - He said hoarse - "Do you want that? Do you want me to get you pregnant again, you whore?" - He asked kissing Y/n's back.

- "Y-yes fuck.. fills me with cum Seb, cums very hot inside me" - Y/n said moaning loudly when Sebastian stocked up hard three more times cumming inside her in strong jets of hot cum. Y/n then came shaking on Sebastian's cock when he squirted feeling her legs shaking and Sebastian's cock pulsating inside her.

Sebastian turned around asking if everything was okay, Y/n waved smiling and the two kissed again and again.. Until they finish the bath and go to sleep together.

It seemed like things had changed.

(...)

- "Black daddy! I want black!!" - Isaac's voice echoed in the couple's room. They were all there in bed, it was about eight at night and while Sebastian was painting Y/n's nails, Isaac and Ivy entered the room wanting to play with their parents, so everyone decided to paint their nails.

Sebastian smiled at his son waving. It had been three nights since what happened with Y/n and things were good. They had not yet talked about what happened, but somewhere inside them the two knew they were already together again.

- "To match Mom!" - Ivy smiled looking at her nails painted red.

- "That's right, my princess." - Y/n stied her daughter's curls, looking away from her son and Sebastian who painted Isaac's nail with dedication. Her passionate heart is calming up by the scene.

- "Ready son, did you like it?" - Sebastian asked when he finished. Isaac smiled sangly agreeing then approached his mother and sister, Sebastian did the same.

- "I want to see everyone's get together here." - Y/n asked, the three of them did and put their hands under the bed sheet, it was a funny mixture of colors. Sebastian was in dark blue, Isaac black, Ivy red, and Y/n also red.

- "It was beautiful! Did you like it, loves?" - Y/n asked his children who agreed to look at each other's nails.

Sebastian got closer to Y/n taking her hands and kissing them, she smiled leaving a long peck on her lips. He turned his eyes to the children who started singing and jumping on the bed, and with a beautiful smile on his face and shining eyes Sebastian said seriously to Y/n.

- "I love you." - His blue eyes were shining in the direction of Y/n who turned her children's eyes away to Sebastian, also smiling and holding back the cry.

- "I love you too, Sebastian." - She said happy. The two sealed their lips in a passionate kiss moving away when the children played saying that it was disgusting.

Regardless of everything, they were a family, and both Sebastian and Y/n would fight to make it work. And they could do it, because love always wins in the end.

[httpsdana]

Hiii~ can you make a fiction for Kenan Yildiz where it’s a day off for him and the reader (his wife) and they are having a family day with their 3 years old son and 1 year old daughter , where they are taking care of them , playing a little and when the kids fall asleep they both cuddle in bed and have a romantic talk to sleep.

Thank you in advance sweetheart , your fictions are truly amazing 💗.

Our Little Family~Kenan Yildiz

*Pictures are from Pinterest*

we got wifi in our emergency house so I might as well right some things when im bored. enjoy <3

request from here

master list -> part 2

players/drivers I write for

The sun was just peeking through the curtains when y/n felt a small tug on the blanket. She groaned softly, still half-asleep, but she could already sense what was happening. Their 3-year-old son, Emir, was standing by the bed, his bright brown eyes wide and a mischievous smile on his face. He had clearly been up for a while.

"Mama, Papa," Emir whispered, tugging again, "I'm hungry!"

She heard a soft chuckle beside her. Kenan stirred, his arm slipping around her waist as he opened his eyes.

“Good morning, buddy,” Kenan said, his voice still husky from sleep. “Are you ready for a fun day?”

Emir nodded excitedly, his curly hair bouncing. y/n couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. Sitting up, she heard a second, quieter noise from the baby monitor: their 1-year-old daughter, Leyla, was awake too, babbling to herself in her crib.

“I’ll get her,” she said, kissing Kenan’s cheek before climbing out of bed. Kenan sat up, stretching, and helped Emir onto the bed, where they immediately began playing a silly game of “tickle monster.”

y/n tiptoed into Leyla’s room, finding her sitting up with her chubby hands gripping the side of the crib. Her wide eyes sparkled with joy when she saw her mom. “Mama!” she gurgled, reaching out with her tiny arms.

"Good morning, my sweet girl," y/n cooed, scooping her up and pressing a kiss to her soft cheek. She nuzzled into her shoulder, as she inhaled the familiar baby scent that always brought her peace.

Once both kids were ready, y/n and Kenan decided to take them out for breakfast. The thought of enjoying a morning out as a family filled her with excitement. Emir was already talking about pancakes, and Leyla clapped her hands in delight as she bundled her up in a tiny jacket.

The café they chose had a cozy atmosphere, with a play area for the kids and plenty of space for Leyla’s stroller. As they entered, she saw the sparkle of recognition in Kenan’s eyes—he was already planning to spoil everyone.

The family settled into a booth, Leyla happily perched on her mom's lap as she helped her nibble on small pieces of fruit. Emir was across from her, excitedly showing Kenan how he could color in the activity book the café provided. Kenan leaned over, drawing a little football next to Emir’s attempts at coloring.

Breakfast was filled with laughter as Emir managed to get syrup all over his fingers, and Kenan joked, “We’re going to have to wash you like a car, buddy.” Leyla clapped at every new taste of food, and her giggles echoed around the café as Kenan played peek-a-boo with her.

After breakfast, the four of them headed to the nearby park. The fresh air felt invigorating, and the playground was just what the kids needed to burn off their morning energy. Emir ran straight to the slides, calling for Kenan to follow him. y/n watched as Kenan helped him up the ladder, his strong arms lifting Emir when he got stuck halfway.

“Look, Mama!” Emir called from the top. “Watch me slide!”

She cheered him on as he slid down with a triumphant grin. Leyla, nestled in her arms, reached for the swings, her tiny fingers pointing as she made soft cooing sounds. y/n placed her gently in the baby swing, pushing her back and forth as she squealed in delight.

Kenan jogged over after a few more rounds on the slide with Emir. “I’ll take her,” he offered, lifting Leyla from the swing. She immediately clung to his chest, her little head resting against his broad shoulder. It was a sight that always melted y/n's heart—Kenan was so naturally tender with the kids, and they adored him.

They spent the next hour playing as a family. Kenan chased Emir around, pretending to be a monster, while y/n sat on the grass with Leyla, watching as she tried to walk on her own. Each time she wobbled, she caught her, and she’d look up at her mom with a big, proud smile. Eventually, Kenan and Emir returned, both panting and laughing. Kenan collapsed onto the grass beside y/n, pulling Emir into his arms.

"You’re fast, little guy," Kenan said breathlessly, ruffling Emir’s hair. Emir beamed, clearly proud of himself.

When the afternoon sun started to tire everyone out, they decided it was time to head home. Back in the house, Leyla and Emir’s energy levels had dropped significantly after all the playing and excitement. y/n and Kenan bathed them together, filling the bathroom with giggles as bubbles floated everywhere. Emir splashed, pretending he was a pirate, while Leyla clapped her hands at the water, her eyes wide with fascination.

Once they were in their pajamas, they all curled up in the living room for storytime. Kenan sat on the couch, Leyla nestled in his lap while Emir snuggled into y/n's side, his eyes heavy as she read their favorite bedtime story. It didn’t take long for both of them to fall asleep, their peaceful faces bathed in the soft glow of the lamp.

y/n and Kenan carefully carried them to their beds, tucking each one in with a kiss. Leyla’s tiny hand curled around her stuffed animal, while Emir mumbled something about pirates before drifting back off.

As soon as the kids were settled, y/n and Kenan headed to their room. The day’s events had worn them out in the best way possible, and the moment they slid into bed, Kenan pulled her into his arms, holding her close. His warmth enveloped her, and she let out a content sigh, resting her head on his chest.

"Today was perfect," she murmured, tracing lazy circles on his chest. "I love watching you with them. You’re such a good father."

Kenan kissed the top of her head, his voice soft in the quiet of the room. “I couldn’t do it without you. You make all of this possible. I love our little family.”

She tilted her head up, and he leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. The kiss deepened for a moment, full of tenderness and affection. When they pulled away, y/n smiled at him, feeling her heart swell with love.

“Sometimes I still can’t believe this is real,” she whispered. “Our family. Our life together.”

Kenan’s hand moved to cradle her cheek, his eyes soft as he gazed down at his wife. “It’s real, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

With that, they both fell into a peaceful silence, their bodies entwined, hearts full.y/n drifted off to sleep, surrounded by the warmth of Kenan’s arms and the quiet joy of the life they’d built together.

[missbunnybunny]

❛❛ 𝕴 𝖜𝖔𝖐𝖊 𝖚𝖕 𝖆𝖘 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖔𝖑𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖉𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖌𝖔𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖓 𝖉𝖚𝖐𝖊 𝕰𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖌𝖆𝖗𝖉𝖊𝖓.❜❜

B-day post, sorry it's a little late.

- Enjoy!

Not Proofread, Not spell checked, Manipulation, Yandere, False Imprisonment. «🛑𝙼𝙳𝙽𝙸🛑»

Y/n stared at herself in the mirror. She touched her face in horror as she looked in the vintage mirror.

Running to open her window, she pushed it open, seeing that this was no way, shape or form her world.

For fuck sake, there was even a large gazebo in the backyard. That was rich people's shit.

There was a knock on the door, drawing her attention from the window view.

"My lady." a voice called.

" Come in!" Y/n yelled back as she stood in the middle of the large bedroom awkwardly.

A woman with tied black hair, and a maid's outfit enters the room with a wheeled cart.

" My lady, I came to bring you breakfast." the freckled maid smiled.

Y/n sat in her bed, distressed, what was she going to do.

Holding her head, Y/n looked at her maid, " I'm sorry, but what's your name."

" Oh! I'm Anny." the maid smiles, setting up the table for her mistress to eat.

" My memory is blurry, I don't remember last night." Y/n lies.

" That should be reasonable, you had a high fever last night," Anny explained, leading Y/n to the table.

" Would you remind me of everything? " You asked.

Anny clapped her hands smiling, " Yes."

Anny explained, that this was Frostfall kingdom. The royal family consisted of five members, the emperor, the empress, two princes, and the princess.

Mistress Y/n is a member of the Evergarden Duchesse. The family was constructed by, the duke, duchess, lady Y/n, her sister, and brother.

" And finally, I am your personal maid." Anny pointed at herself proudly.

After Anny explained everything to you, it dawned on you. This was Otome game! One that you didn't remember too much.

you had to go on pretending to be the daughter of the duke, but one thing you were glad of is that you will never meet the male lead. In fact, you didn't remember what they looked like.

Her mission for the time being was serving and finding a way out of this game.

" My lady. It's time to get ready." Anny announced, snapping you from your thoughts.

" Alright," Y/n responded back.

✦✧✧ ☆ ✧✧✦

After getting ready and doing all the tiring things a noble lady would do, you were making your way downstairs.

" My darling Daughter." Y/n heard an older voice calling out to her from behind.

The older woman hugged, Y/n before taking her face in hers and examining it. " Oh, dear. You have no idea how worried your father and I were." the duchess sighed.

" Sorry, Mother." Y/n apologized.

" No need, shall we go meet your father?" the duchess asked, taking her daughter's arm and walking away.

' Can't escape now,' Y/n thought, letting out a sigh. This was going to be a long day.

Making it to a large door, the duchess knocked on it twice, before receiving a response back.

Entering the room she spotted a man, covered in paperwork, with a man standing next to him.

" Dear, our dear daughter is here." His wife said.

The duke looked up before jumping from his seat and hugging Y/n.

It startled Y/n she thought this was a cliche, parents hate their kids and all but she was wrong.

The duke began to ask Y/n how she was feeling, if he could get her anything, almost spoiling her rotten.

The man still standing next to the duke's desk, clears his throat, " Your grace. The paperwork is not going to be doing itself." he warns.

This makes the duke have the face of a kicked dog as he reluctantly gets back to the workload waiting for him.

The duke is silently crying as he does his workload. He looks like a child doing his homework with his mom looking over his shoulder.

The duchess chuckles at her husband's antics before turning to her daughter.

"Dear, while your siblings are in the academy. Would you like to go out to town? This house can be stuffy." She sighs softly, placing her hand on her cheek.

" May I, Mother?" You asked, not hiding your excitement.

"Of course, dear, I'll have the butler ready a carriage." The duchess waves, a butler quickly leaving to comple his master's orders.

✦✧✧ ☆ ✧✧✦

— An hour had passed, and the carriage was ready. Y/n, with the help of the knight that was tasked with escorting her, enter her ride.

Anny had already entered, and she patiently awaited for her lady to enter so the journey could begin.

" There is a market in town and many wonderful places, my Lady." Anny smiled, listing off future plans.

The ride to town was uneventful. The sinery was peaceful and beautiful, and the trees swayed with the breeze.

The ducks and swans swam os the water as if they were dancing. The sunlight glittering their feathers like pears and jewels.

Anny was excited as she talked your ear off. It was pleasant, and you would indulge her in conversation once in a while.

The city came into view, with many colorful flags, stalls, and caravans. It was a sight to see, like a festival in your world but with the expectation of elves, witches, orcs, dragons, and so on.

Anny's eyes began to sparkle as she looked at the many things to partake in. And as soon as the carriage stopped she all but jumped from her seat.

She was more excited than you, making you smile at her antics.

There was a soft knock on the door, and the voice of her knight escort, " My lady, you can exit now." he was holding the door open, for both her and her maid.

" Thank you," You smiled kindly at the man and took his hand as you exited your ride.

Looking around you marbled, joy pumping in your veins as to the many things you could see.

"Ah, my lady! Look at the food stand. And that one selling jewels."

Anny pointed from one stand to the next, "Shall we have a look at the jewel stand over there." Y/n laughed.

Y/n's knight, Ray, nodded at her statement. Walking to the many stands Y/n felt drawn to one in particular, it was being run by an elf.

The kind owner smiled warmly like the sun, showcasing the many items they had. A neckless and a bracelet, called to you as if befallen upon a spell.

" I would like these two, please," Y/n asked, pointing at the wanted items.

" Ah yes, those are quite unique items." They said, taking the jewels from their case and giving it to them.

" How much would that be?" Y/n asked. The owner simply asked for two gold coins and she was happy to pay.

Y/n handed the bracelet to Anny, in a way showing thanks.

Anny took you and your guard around the town, walking for what felt like hours. When you asked your escort what time it was, he informed you that 2 hours had passed.

✦✧✧ ☆ ✧✧✦

Anny's stomach grumbled, making her blush and try to cover her abdomen.

This made you chuckle at how shy she was, "Anny, we can stop to get some food." You smiled, "Look that restaurant looks perfect."

Her eyes shined, and her smile widened before she shyly told you she couldn't ask for such a thing.

"Nonsense," you spoke. Taking her hand and sitting her down. A waiter asked how he could help you.

Anny ordered a small desert and a drink while you ordered your favorite cake and drink.

Your maid thanked you again, saying that you were a kind mistress to her.

Your orders had arrived by then, and the cake was delicious.

You didn't notice the clocked figure suddenly stopping in their tracks as they looked at you.

A smaller clocked figure ran up to them whisper yelling, " Your highness! Please wait."

"What is it, Alan?" They asked, still looking forward.

"The crown prince can't be wandering around." Alan scolded.

" I am not wondering around, I'm trying to find leads for the recent murders in town." He respondes, eyes fixed on the way your lips parted as you ate.

From what family were you? How could there be such alluring, mesmerizing beauty in such a person?

He reluctantly looked away from your smiling face and forced himself to walk away. He has a duty to uphold, for the kingdom

Looking around, you sighed, the sun felt so nice on your skin. The fresh air and the sweet pasty lifted your stress, but only for a while.

The sound of multiple marching steps made you look over Anny's shoulder, the kingdoms knight were on patrol.

They looked serious and professional. Anny's voice drew your view away, " Shall we take a look at dress shops, or would you fancy some shoes, my lady?"

Giving her a close eyed smile, you responded that sitting here for a few more minutes would be just fine.

A knight became slightly uncoordinated, your smile had his heart beating fast and wildly. His face became flushed pink, before he continued on his way.

What beautiful smile you had, blinding like sun and warm like the summer breeze.

He wanted to look at your beauty more so he could burn the image in this mind.

The dress you're wearing brings out your beauty, it suits you, anything that you would wear would look beautiful on you.

The thought of leaving his job to work as your personal knight, from what family are you? Is that your personal knight next to you?

Fuck, his superior is calling him out to pay attention.

Standing up, Anny and your knight follow closely behind. The sun was getting lower, and some stalls were closing.

A thought crosses your mind, you should get a gift for your 'parents.' Y/n made her way to a boutique. As you walked to one that caught your eye, you heard something fall.

A man with his arm full of books and other things rushed past you.

Looking down, you spotted what he dropped, a star shape battle it midnight liquid. It was pretty, but you knew it was important.

"Hey, wait!" You called out.

You run up to him, finally catching him, "Y-You dropped this." You huffed exhausted, lifting the bottle up to him.

He looked at you. You were pretty. Who were you? "Ah, thank you." He spoke softly.

"From what family are you?" He asked, curiosity getting the best of him.

" Oh, I'm from—" "My Ladya we have to hurry." Anny yelled.

"Ah, sorry." Y/n bows before running off into the crowd.

✦✧✧ ☆ ✧✧✦

Your knight carried a couple of bags full of clothes or other things. You argued that you should at least carry some stuff.

You carried 3 boxes, one of jewelry and two of shoes. It might have been a mistake, cuz right now, you couldn't see where you were going.

And bang, your boxes fell, and so did you. An arm caught you, he was tall, " Are you okay?" He asked.

"Ah, yes." You smiled, trying to stand up, but you stumbled forward. He noticed your heel had broken.

"Sorry, " he says, embarrassed, your knight and maid are by your side worried.

He fixes his hood, " Please sit," he said, taking you to a bench.

He runs off, leaving you a little confused. Now you sat at the bench missing a shoe.

He dissappears off into a shop, you think. Before he returned with a box in his hands.

"I apologize here." He kneels, making you blush. He opens the box and changes your shoes.

Now you are the proud owner of a new pair of shoes.

Damn, princess syndrome is gonna hit you hard when you get home.

✦✧✧ ☆ ✧✧✦

Inside the carriage, you arrived at your home. You see a very handsome man outside your family door, seemingly being seen off by your father.

" Father," Y/n waves happy, as her knight helps her off.

Your father smiles, greeting you with a hug and giving you a kiss on the cheek.

"Y/n dear, this is the duke." Your father introduced.

The Duke looks at you amused.

"H-Hello," you say, blushing. This man was making you nervous.

He smiles, taking your hand in his and kissing the back of it, "My lady," his voice was deep.

He chuckles, seeing your face burn bright red. You look at anything but him.

"I must say my goodbyes," he smiled, giving your father a handshake and your hand another kiss.

He leaves the state.

"Father, I have some gifts for you." You say happily.

✦✧✧ ☆ ✧✧✦

The party is in full swing. You most admit your father is a great party host. A beautiful woman dressed elegantly caught your eye.

The female lead.

The clock is turning, but this time, you don't know of the unknown route that the kingdom is walking into.

Can you survive?

Will you survive this new change?

✦✧✧ ☆ ✧✧✦

[antiquarianfics]

Just a library of things I wrote for ease of access!

Fics are ordered newest to oldest.

❀ Fluff ○ Angst ✧ Smut

★ Personal Favorite ✰ 1k+ Notes

Requesting Guidelines

Oneshots

Don't Think About It ❀ Maybe admitting how you feel isn’t the worst thing?

Soon You'll Get Better ○ Desperate people find faith. Bucky's desperate for you to get better, so, yeah, he'll pray to someone else's god.

Dark and Bloody Ground ○ ★ So you violently murdered a man? So what? You did it in the name of love.

Making Waves ❀○ Bucky gives you a pep talk when life’s beating down on you a little too hard.

Shoot Me ❀ ★ Bucky swears he doesn’t like Y/N. In fact, he’s so confident he’ll challenge this: If he likes Y/N, shoot him.

Draw 4 ❀ You always swear you can hold your liquor until the next morning when you’ve no clue how you’re $80 richer and why your husband is too amused for your liking.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa ❀ ✰ Becca Barnes is generally not a serious child. She is, on the contrary, quite the opposite. She’s a silly, carefree, easy-going kid, so whenever her demeanor changes to the opposite, it is an immediate red flag that something is wrong.

A Slip of the Tongue ❀ ✰ Bucky reacts to your daughter’s new name for him as she tells him all about her new friend.

Slow Down ❀ An object in motion stays in motion until acted upon by an outside force. In this case, you’re the object and Bucky is the outside force.

You Have a Girlfriend? ❀ ★ ✰ So you get a little confused when you’re drunk? So what?

The Best Things Take Time ❀ ✰ Bucky has a code. You manage to crack it.

Therapy ❀ Sometimes all a person needs is a little reassurance they’re not a bad person.

Jealousy, Jealousy ❀ ○ ✰ Jealousy is a green-eyed monster, or so they say. You’d argue that jealousy is actually a blue-eyed, one-armed, super soldier.

Better Than Us ❀ Being a woman is hard, and it’s not necessarily something you’d wish on another.

Marry Me? Nah. Marry Me? Yeah. ❀ ★ ✰ 4 times Bucky Barnes asks you to marry him and you refuse. 1 time Bucky Barnes asks you to marry him and you accept.

Buck Moon ❀ So maybe you read the Farmer’s Almanac wrong. It’s still a successful date.

Shower ❀ ○ Sometimes it's all you can do to breathe. Sometimes you need a little help--even with the basics. Bucky's happy to help.

Sun to Me ❀ If there is one thing Bucky Barnes remembers about his mother, it is that she told him to find someone who plants flowers in the darkest parts of him. If there is one thing Bucky Barnes knows about Reader, it is that they grow him to the clouds.

Timeless ❀ Reader wonders how their life might have looked different in 1944, but they know they still would have loved Bucky Barnes.

»»———-———-———-———-———-———-———-««

Series

Accidental | pt 2 pt. 3 pt. 4 pt. 5 | blurb 1 ○ ★ What happens when you accidentally kidnap the exact man you were looking for?

Taken (ongoing) ○ If Bucky Barnes could time travel, he would go back to that morning. He would hold you a little tighter in his arms, and he would kiss you a little deeper. He would pull your daughter in between the two of you, letting her giggle as loudly as she wants whilst her parents kiss her cheeks and tickle her belly. If Bucky Barnes could time travel, he would have told you not to go to the park—to go anywhere else. But Bucky Barnes can’t time travel, and his wife and daughter are gone.

»»———-———-———-———-———-———-———-««

Drabbles

Lost Time ❀○

Poolside ❀

Distraction ❀○

Can I? ❀ ✰

Not What I Heard ❀✰

Ruinin’ the Game ❀

[yoditopascal]

Everything I Lost But Found In You

summary: Shinji reflects on everything he lost and gained from Aizen’s betrayal.

warnings: fluff, slice of life, post TYBW, pre-CFYOW, Sen is a tsundere, slightly suggestive content

a/n: I’ve been working on this OC since 2008 and I’m so excited to share her with you guys! The first chapter is short and sweet but I promise the next ones will be longer!

Masterlist//Next Chapter

Everything

Shinji leaned against the wooden railing of his office of the 5th Division headquarters, the air infused with the sweet scent of fresh cherry blossoms, flowing gently through his hair as his wife worked diligently behind him on his paperwork that was now a week late.

As he started to contemplate the twists of fate that had brought them together, warm memories of their earlier days resurfaced to the forefront of his mind. Just as he was starting to get lost in his thoughts the sound of his wife getting to her feet drew him back to his reality. Sen stretches behind him and lets out a huff, as she stood from his pile of unattended documents at his desk, drawing his eye to the undeniable curve of her belly that marked her heavily pregnant form with a smile.

She turned to him, a mix of frustration and affection in her eyes as she started to chide him for letting paperwork pile up so much over the past week.

“I swear the older you get the lazier you get Shinji.” She said with a frown though he could tell from the mischievous shine in her eye that the jab wasn’t serious.

“You can’t keep relying on me to forge your signature, Shinji. I won’t always be here to bail you out, especially when Asahi gets here!” she scolded, but her voice lacking any real bite to it as she rubbed at her swollen stomach. He couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle as he came back into the office space, stepping closer to her and attempting to steal a kiss to her cheek as he gently rubbed her stomach, placing a warm calloused hand over her much smaller one.

“You shouldn’t stress so much. It’s not good for him,” he teased, knowing she wouldn’t let him off the hook entirely. “Besides I said I’d take care of it when we got back, it’s not my fault you decided to start doin’ it before we leave.” he added, knowing how excited she was to see her friends and their kid again even if it was just to watch Chad’s boxing match over at Ichigo and Orihime’s.

Sen smiled at his affectionate antics but swatted him away playfully, “That’s because I knew you wouldn’t do it.” she waved him off as she continued. “Now go and find Atsushi, we gotta leave soon and she’s probably off training with Ichika so I’m sure she’ll need to get cleaned up before we go.”

“Go on, get moving, or we’ll be late!” she urged, her tone light but stern as she waddled past him towards their shared home. “So cold.” Shinji’s expression fell into a mock pout at her dismissal. “At least I know Atsushi loves me,” he quipped back at her retreating form. As Sen walked toward their home to get ready for their trip to the Human World, he continued to admire her form with a smile, hand resting in his cheek as he leaned in the railing of his office once again.

How the hell had he gotten so lucky in life?

The haunting memories of Aizen’s betrayal weighed heavy on him, even to this day, but amidst all the loss, there was a flicker of light, his love for Sen and the family they’ve come to make together never failed to ease his dread over what had come to pass.

He recalled the very first moment their paths crossed back in the tea scented walls of her father Kisuke’s peculiar shop, the warmth he felt the first time she had called him by his first name, their first date that she, to this day, still refused to acknowledge as their first actual date, their first fight, fueled solely by Shinji’s jealousy, over her spending more time with Kensei than him, the first time Sen patched up his wounds and chastised him for not letting her help him in the first place. Their first “I love yous” even though neither of them said it directly, they both knew the implications of what they had said meant to the other.

It was in those moments that he began to understand the depth of her feelings, she loved him, just as fiercely and unconditionally as she loved her family and he’d be a liar if he said he didn’t love her just as strong back then even if he hadn’t known it yet.

[bigboipyromaniac]

can you make a james sunderland x fem!reader? (Or gender neutral Idm) Maybe searching for her (dead) sister in her childhood town, Silent Hill, and stumbling upon James. Reader teams up with james (not rlly being scared of him since he looked pathetic) after realizing they have a similar goal, not leaving him a choice.

Anyway maybe they get separated after a few hours of their journey, and after finding each other they realize just how much they need the other. Maybe the town plays a part (since its kinda sentient) in pushing them together? Their similar goals, lonely life without their loved one, how they went to silent hill, etc, at the same time definitely not being a mere coincidence.

(Lil info ab her sister: they were driving to silent hill 3 years ago to visit the cemetery for their parents, but reader and sis got into a fight about turning back and reader basically swerved the steering wheel to the side and caused them to crush. Reader, not knowing what to do since her older sis made all her decisions for her, just ran away and left her dead sis in the car. This wrecked her with guilt, causinf the town to punish her just like james. They could bond through their shared guilt and experiences and whatnot.)

Ive had this idea for a while so i’d love to see it written! Though if you dont wanna, its alright ^^

brother you are giving me so much juice for this story

THX BESTIEE

Btw maria won't show up cause idk where to place her here

Back where it all started

This letter... It can't be right. She was taken 3 years ago.

But, this was the same town we crashed in. Did she manage to survive? I kept looking at the letter, rereading the whole this, looking for imperfects in the writing.

'This has to be a prank, right? A sick prank..' i thought to myself. But everything about the letter, it seems too perfect for another person to write.

This has to be her.

Even if it wasn't, it was too late to go back now. I stood next to the entrance of the hospital, the memories of this place is all crashing on top of me. I've lost my family here.

It took a couple of minutes for me to built up the courage to walk back in. The doors creaked as I walked it.

It was quiet, and abandoned. The doctors and nurses who took care of your family were no longer here. Almost like time just stopped

Papers were all over the floor and desk, the room is started to fill itself with mold. I walked towards the elevator seeing if the power still worked.

Nothing...

Luckily the stairs weren't broken. As I walked up the stairs, I could see a drawing.

A bunny and a wolf? It looks like a kid drew it. Why would a kid be here? Monster were lurking, the poor kid could get hurt.

Entering the 2nd floor I could here someone closing a door. "Whos there?!" I yelled out while holding my pipe I found outside. The man seem startled, and placed his hands up in defense.

There light was shining in my eyes but I could see it was someone human! "Oh I'm sorry! Thought you were a monster." I said while lowering my pipe down.

The man looked at you, up and down, almost surprised to see another human being. "Hey it's okay!" He paused for a second. "My name is James."

"Y/N" You responded back.

"Y/N, I'm looking for someone, have you seen her?" He pulled out a picture of a woman, She was a beautiful lady with blonde hair.

I shook my head. "No sorry I just got here"

He looked a bit upset... "if you dont mind me asking, who is she?" you said trying not to make James feel too upset." she was... My late wife." James avoid looking at your eyes, almost like he was ashamed of himself.

"Your... Late wife?" you asked confused " that would man she's dead right?" you questioned this strange man, I mean who would come here looking for a dead person?

…

" Don't worry! I'm not going crazy! " James spoke up almost defensively. "Look I found this letter." He handed me a letter, it was different from my sisters letter, from the handwriting, to what is said on the letter itself.

I don't think one man could have done this...

I kept staring at the note, trying to find a flaw or a similarity between the note. James must have noticed the other letter and me comparing them. He placed his arm around my shoulder, almost trying to comfort, "Some else also sent you a letter?" My daze was broken from his voice. "Yea... my sister sent it to me, but 3 year ago, she was..."

There was a long pause, I couldn't finish my sentence, It still hurts to think about it. James rubbed my back, trying his best to comfort me, I could feel the awkwardness from him.

but it still felt nice that he cared about me, someone who he just met. "Hey.." he turned me to face him with both his hands on my shoulder. "How about you stay with me until you find your sister, do you know any place where she might be?"

I thought about it for a second...

"There was this hotel! its across the lake, I remember my sister and I playing with bugs in the garden area." James looked perplexed for a second "The Lakeview hotel?" I nodded " That was my wife and I special place.."

He looked at his map, maybe to find a way to head to the hotel. "Come on, lets head to Rosewater park, maybe we can find a boat there." before I could question him, he grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the hospital.

(surely nothing would bad happens when he get to the hotel(clueless)

[astral--horrorshow]

Red Snow - Platonic Yandere Mud Dogs x GN Reader

A/N: Happy spooky month, everyone!! This is the first of two stories I'm going to release for October. They're based off of horror/thriller media, and credit to @yandere-toons for the inspiration of merging a horror movie with a yandere scenario with their Invader Zim story!

This story is based off of the film "No Exit", and even though the protag in the film and this share the same name, they aren't the same, that's a just a coincidence.

Try to guess what the second story is based off of! Here's a hint: It most likely served as inspiration for a nordic horror game that's getting a third installment in 2024!!

If anyone wants to draw fanart based off of this story or take any sort of inspiration based off of it, please feel free!! I'd be happy to see anything you make!

Her: You better not be writing a 6000+ fanfic for characters who only had 5 minutes of screentime when I get there!

Me:

~

Warning: This story is meant for entertainment purposes only and not meant to romanticize or encourage any of the behaviors found in it.

TW: a gun, blood, kidnapping, restraints, semi infantilizism, being struck, hinted fear mongering, slight gore, death, this is strictly platonic

Word Count: 6246

Summary: Darby is stranded at a rest stop in a snowstorm with 5 complete strangers when they unveil a chilling discovery.

~

Darby wrapped their hands around the mug of coffee, warming their hands up through their fur. They sighed in relief as they began to feel their fingers again, the snow melting.

A snowstorm raged outside, beating against the windows of the rest stop and coating them with layer after layer of dull frost. Looking around, Darby swallowed hard as they took a nervous glance at the people they would be sharing the rest stop with for the foreseeable future. Three other yōkai shared the table in the center of the room with them, with a fourth napping in the corner of the room, and another making himself a cup of coffee. Their hand instinctively drifted to the pocket on their jeans, attempting to soothe their nerves by rubbing the denim-covered contents. The air was thick and hard to breathe in, not with Darby’s nerves.

“What’s your name, kid?”

The cat yōkai jolted, yanking their hand away from their pocket and staring at the bat yōkai from across the table. “Sorry?” They breathed out, trying to regain the air in their lungs.

“I said, what’s your name?”

“Oh! Oh. Darby, sorry…”

“Nothing to apologize for,” the bat said, reaching up and scratching his big ear, “But you’ll want to get used to me. We’ll be here for a while.

Darby swallowed again, and nodded. The bat gave a half-smile to them, and spoke again.

“I’m Rafferty, and this is my wife-”

“Juane,” the borzoi yōkai next to him butted in.

“Right, Juane,” Rafferty turned to the eel on Darby’s right and opened his mouth, but the eel beat him to it.

“I’m Mickey!” He said, cheerfully.

“Well, hello, Mickey.” Juane said, staring at him with a turned head. Mickey grinned at her, which unsettled Darby. In fact, all of the yōkai in that room freaked them out. They didn’t know what it was. Maybe it was the way Juane’s eyes seemed to stare at them from behind her long snout, maybe it was Rafferty’s intimidating aura or Mickey’s freaky grin.

Everyone sat in near-silence again, the sound of the coffee maker and the snowstorm being the only companion to the yōkai’s ears. Mickey looked like he wanted to say something, but he took a glance at the rat making the coffee, and kept his mouth shut. Darby took notice of this, and an uneasy feeling burrowed into their stomach. Maybe they were overthinking it, but maybe not. Why would Mickey stop himself from talking after looking at a stranger?

Darby clutched their knees. They needed to be away from people, to clear their head. They stood up from the table, the grating sound of the chair scooting back on the hardwood making them internally wince. They half-stumbled to the bathroom, unaware of the burning stare boring into their back.

Inside the bathroom, Darby pulled out their phone to find it had no service. Even though they were expecting it, being in a rest stop in the middle of nowhere with a snowstorm raging outside, they still groaned. The thought of being completely stranded with the unsettling strangers that they had just met made them feel sick. They buried their head in their hands, taking a deep breath. Maybe they could get some service outside. They needed to get away from all of that thick air, anyways.

Darby trekked out of the bathroom, not sparing even a passing glance at the other yōkai while they walked towards the doors. They pushed the doors open, the frigid air drawing all heat from their body and bits of ice pelting their coat and nose. They didn’t mind. It was freeing. Refreshing, even. Their boots crunched against the snow as they took their phone out of the pocket of their olive green jacket, holding up like a flare in hopes of getting at least a single bar. They tramped around in the thick snow, trying not to let go of their phone by gripping as tight as they could with their quickly numbing fingers.

A metallic-sounding thud barley pierced Darby’s ears through the vociferous whistling of the storm, but they heard it, nonetheless. There was another thud, and Darby snapped their head towards the vehicle it came from, a large, dark van.

Darby lowered their phone and stumbled towards the van, glancing back at the rest stop windows. Nobody had moved or was looking at them. They jumped behind the van, standing at its back doors. One of the windows had been covered up with something, but the other one had only snow as its curtain. They wiped away the snow with their hand, and immediately jumped back.

There was a human in the van.

Your arms and shins were tightly bound together with rope, and a gag covered your mouth. You banged on the window with your arms and Darby could hear you whimper as they stumbled back in shock. Shaking off their surprise, they turned back to the window again to make sure that nobody was looking, and threw themselves to the door window.

“Hey, hey, I’m gonna get you out of here, alright? I’m gonna help you, you’re gonna be okay.”

You continued to whimper, attempting to open the van doors with your bound and mittened hands to no avail. Darby tried the doors, too. Locked.

Darby panted in fear, eyes widening when they glanced back at the window and saw a figure standing tall with their back turned. Darby practically leaped to the other side of the van, pressing their back to it and holding their hand up to their chest, feeling their heart beating fast. They didn’t want to believe that they were in this situation, that they were dreaming, or hallucinating.

Taking a deep breath, they attempted to calm their nerves. They only had to play it cool until they could get help. But who knows how long that would be? And they didn’t even know who the van even belonged to! Everyone in there was an equal suspect, and Darby didn’t even know the other two’s names! They groaned and tugged on their ears. The cat yōkai couldn’t just pull you out, but there had to be a way to help, there had to!

Darby smoothed some of the frazzled fur on their head and took another breath. It was going to be hard, but playing cool was their only option until they could deduce who the owner of the van was, or at least get one bar of service. They walked back to the rest stop, holding their phone above their head again.

They tucked it back into their pocket when they opened the doors, swallowing the lump in their throat when they saw the two other yōkai, now sitting at the table. The rat decked out in purple smiled at Darby as they walked inside with what might’ve been a warm smile if he didn’t have such an air of coldness to him. Darby tried their best to smile at him back, though it probably looked more like a grimace. They didn’t smile much, anyways.

They sat back down in their chair, taking in the sight of playing cards on the table and the scent of cheap instant coffee wafting in the air. “Well, hello,” the rat said in a friendly tone, “It looks like we have everyone here! My name’s Danny.”

He reached a hand out to Darby, and they gingerly shook it. “Darby…”

Though the ogre yōkai to the right of Danny was sitting at the table with everyone else, he didn’t make any move to speak, focusing more on the deck of cards in his hands, which he was shuffling with his thick fingers. Darby eyed him nervously. Silent and sullen-seeming, he might’ve been the type to hide a human in his van, but Darby stopped themself from making any assumptions. If there was one thing their mother taught them, it’s that one can’t judge from feeling alone. Darby knew plenty of quiet and sullen people, including themself. That didn’t mean that they had a human in their car. The snake in the grass could be any one of the people they shared the table with.

“So, where are you all headed?”

Rafferty struck up conversation again, glancing around at everyone. “I’m headed to Shimmering Isle with Juane.”

“I’m going to the Enclave. Don’t you just need a change of scenery every once in a while?” Danny said, raising his coffee cup up to his mouth.

“That’s neat, son. And where are you headed, Darby?”

Darby’s throat went dry as they opened their mouth to speak, eyes darting around the room as they tried to think up a place for them to say. They just wanted to get away from the Hidden City, they didn’t realize they would have to lie to a stranger about it.

Luckily for them, Danny spilled his coffee on Mickey, and luckily for Mickey, it was only lukewarm at that point. Still, he groaned when the dark liquid stained his bright orange t-shirt and ran down his tail. Danny apologized profusely, but it didn’t seem genuine to Darby. Maybe not to Mickey, either, as he was glaring at Danny like he had just defaced a priceless family heirloom.

Darby took advantage of the commotion and slipped inside the bathroom again, looking around for a window or a back door until they saw a big hole covered up with a piece of flimsy plywood. They grabbed a crowbar near the hole, and pried it open with some effort. They rushed back to the van and slipped the edge of the crowbar between the cracks of the passenger seat door, prying it open, too.

The cat yōkai crawled inside the car and closed the door behind them, practically diving to you. They lifted up your head gently, awkwardly petting it with their other hand in an attempt to soothe your cries and whimpers from behind your gag. “Hey, it’ll be fine, it’ll be fine,” they repeated like a mantra, trying to convince themselves more than you. “My name is Darby, and I’m gonna get us out of here, okay? We’re gonna get out here.”

Darby grabbed the side of your gag, attempting to pull it off when they heard the driver’s side handle jiggling, whoever was attempting to open it was having a hard time. Darby’s eyes widened, and their eyes darted around to find a hiding place. Spotting a pile of blankets in the corner right behind the driver’s seat, they slipped under it, tucking the crowbar in, pulling their legs in and internally praying that their ears didn’t stick out.

The door opened, and someone slid into the front seat. Yanking the door shut, Mickey’s voice muttered angrily.

“You could’ve just tapped me, you could’ve done ANYTHING but spill coffee on me! Man, this is totally gonna stain!”

Tears ran down your face as you craned your neck to gaze up at Mickey, curling into yourself on the floor. He heard your sniffles and looked down at you, his face now set in gentle confusion and concern instead of the death glare he sported merely a moment ago. “Oh, sorry, little pike. I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said, “It’s just- Danny can be such an a-” Mickey cut himself off, taking a deep, shaky breath. “Danny can be very mean… sometimes.”

He said this through gritted teeth, as though it was physically painful for him to talk in the way one would to a kindergartener. He ran his arm over the fin on the top of his head, closing his eyes. “Oh, yeah!” He exclaimed, opening his eyes again, “I’m supposed to be checking on you. Are you okay?” He took notice of your puffy eyes and shaky breaths, “You don’t look so good-”

MIckey halted his sentence, his eyes widening as he looked at the uncovered back window and the piece of cardboard near your feet, “What the hell?! Did you do that?!” He pulled himself into the back, scrambling towards the door. He snatched the cardboard up from the floor and put it back on the window before turning back around to you. “We told you not to touch the windows!”

You started to sob again, eyes shutting tightly as you curled up into yourself. “Hey, hey, hey, don’t cry. You’re gonna be okay.” Mickey switched back to his gentle tone, petting your head with his arm, “Trust me, things’ll get a lot better when we get to Jadetown.” He said this while using his other arm to reach into one of the many boxes in the van, pulling out a shirt exactly like the one he was wearing, except that it didn’t have a coffee stain on it. He pulled off his black coat, inspecting the stormy fur that lined the hood to see if there was any trace of coffee on it, and set it aside to change his shirt.

After Mickey pulled his coat back on, he grinned at you and petted your head again. “I have to go back inside now, people’ll think I’ve died, haha!” He clambered back into the driver's seat and got out of the van. He slithered towards the rest stop again, pulling his jacket closer around him. Mickey wasn’t paying attention to the world in front of him, as always, so it was a surprise when he bumped into the chest of Leonard, with Danny behind him. If looks could kill, the ogre yōkai would have a bigger body count than he already had, but it wasn’t directed at Mickey, no, he was glaring at their van. The eel looked back at him and the van, confused.

“What is it, Len?” Mickey asked, “Is there a scratch on the paint, or-”

“No, there isn’t a scratch!” Leonard snarled, “Where’s the cat?”

Mickey looked back to the van, eyes shooting towards the bootprints leading towards its back door.

~

Once they were sure that Mickey was back inside, Darby slipped out of it again, and rushed over to you again. This time, they were able to take off your gag, and you coughed and cried and took shaky, deep breaths as though your head had just been let up out of a bucket of water. Darby lifted your head up, wrapping an arm around your back in support.

“What did he mean by ‘we’? Are there other people with him?”

You let out another sob, “Yes, yes, yes- Please, please help me…” You spoke incoherently after you has answered Darby’s question, but their blood ran cold as they looked up and saw three figures standing outside of the rest stop door, their stares rapt on the van. Darby’s fur stood up on end, and after they stumbled back, tipping a few boxes over mistakenly, they pulled open the back door and fell into the snow. They scrambled into the surrounding forest, hoping to loop back while your kidnappers were distracted.

You felt the hope that you would be saved disappear with Darby into the trees, tears flowing from your eyes and down your face in grief for your potential freedom. The harsh wind from the open door felt bitterly cold. The sliding door on the side of the van was yanked open by Leonard, who looked at the open back door and the objects littered around the van from Darby’s getaway. He seethed in anger, clenching his fist. “Mickey, come with me. Danny, stay here.” As he and Mickey ran off after the cat yōkai who could ruin everything for them, Danny got into the back of the van and closed all the doors. After he re-fastened the gag around your mouth, he pet your cheek and smiled.

Darby stumbled through the trees, pushing branches out of their way and trying not to trip over roots and rocks hidden under the heavy snow. They heard shouting behind them, along with the faint sound of a pair of footsteps that weren’t their own and what sounded like something being dragged across the snow.

The farther they ran, the harder it was for them to keep their balance. They nearly slipped with every step, but they refused to let themself give up. If those criminals caught them, they would be as good as dead. Darby started to practically climb up the hill, seeing the distant light from the rest stop glowing above their head. The running and shouting was getting closer, “Get back here! You’ll ruin everything!”

They ignored every word the ogre and the eel shouted at them, only focused on their goal; get back to the stop and tell Rafferty and Juane what was going on. That was the only way they would have even a sliver of a chance saving you. The light grew brighter, they were almost there! But anything that seems too good to be true usually is, for the moment they caught a glimpse of the roof, Danny jumped in front of them from seemingly nowhere, making them stumble back.

The back of their boot snagged on a root hidden deep beneath the glimmering snow, but instead of falling back on the hill and landing upside-down, they started to roll down the hill, getting face-full after face-full of dirt, leaves, and snow. Leonard reached out to grab them, but they knocked him over so that he started to roll, too.

Darby and Leonard hit a tree, hard. It knocked the wind out of Darby’s lungs, but Leonard was able to recover faster. Darby opened their swirling eyes and saw a gun slipping out of the inside pocket of Leonard’s jacket as he was reaching out for them. Just as it fell out, they shot their hand out and gripped it like their life depended on it, which it did.

Quickly regaining their senses, Darby pushed themself back with their feet, taking advantage of Leonard’s shock to stand up and point the gun in front of them, shifting its aim between Danny, Mickey, and Leonard, who had stood up and was closing in on them with the other two.

“Come on, kid,” Danny said, “We don’t want trouble. Hand over the gun and keep your mouth shut, and nothing bad will happen to you.”

“I’m not an idiot, don’t lie to me!” Darby said, voice raised, “Stay away, or I’ll shoot you. I’ll do it!”

Danny honed in on the way they were holding the gun, and scoffed internally. They didn’t know how to use that thing. If he were to run out and grab it, he would’ve been able to push them into the stream aways down before they figured out where the trigger was.

“No, you won’t. Come on, we want to get out of here just as much as you do.”

“I bet you do. Why do you have a human?”

“It’s impolite to ask about other people’s business, dear,” he condescended, taking tiny steps forwards.

“It’s everyone’s business if you have it tied up!”

“You don’t know anything!” Leonard yelled, making Darby jump.

The moment the cat's eyes flitted away from him, Danny lunged at them. The two struggled with the gun for a few seconds before it fired into the snow, startling everyone. Darby pushed the rat off of them and made a mad dash towards the top, going as twice as fast as they had before. Crashing footsteps sounded through the forest, but this time, only in the forest. There was no fourth accomplice waiting to grab them at the stop, so they made it safely into the rest stop again, slamming the glass doors behind them. Rafferty and Juane stared at them, apt confusion on both of their faces.

“What’s wrong, Darby? What’s going on?”

The cat was out of breath, holding their hand up to their chest and wheezing. “Dan, Mick, Leonard-”

“What about them-” Rafferty began to inquire, but cut himself off at the sight of the aforementioned yōkai nearing the door, each with a menacing look and a weapon in their hand. Darby turned to face them and wondered, did they get the other two from the truck? They probably did, Darby thought, but shook their head. It wasn’t important where they got the weapons when they were closing in like a kettle of vultures to roadkill.

“What are they doing, Darby?” Juane asked, holding on to her husband's arm as they backed up out of their seats.

“They have a human tied up in their van, and they know I know it.”

The two elder yōkai gasped, holding on to each other tighter. “What are we going to do?” Juane asked, “I haven’t fought since-”

“No, no. Go hide.” Darby interrupted, “I started this. I’ll finish it.”

Rafferty and Juane looked at each other for a moment, then nodded. Darby continued to stare down the approaching criminals as the sound of swift footsteps faded behind them. Each of them had a murderous look on their face.

As they got closer and closer, Darby realized something. They had no weapon of their own. They left the crowbar in the van, and even if they did have it, they were facing three yōkai that had probably killed before. Darby never once won a schoolyard fight, what made them think they could take on three criminals? They backed up as they thought of the foolishness of their plan, mentally berating themself for their impulsiveness.

This was all their fault. They were going to be murdered, then Rafferty and Juane would probably be found and face the same fate. Then you would get carted off to who-knows-where and be subjected to who-knows-what. For the first time in months, tears welled up in Darby’s eyes as they stumbled backwards and hit the wall.

~

You squirmed across the floor towards the pile of blankets in the corner that Darby had taken refuge under. None of your captors has time to search the van. You shoved your bound arms under the blanket, feeling up and down until your hands hit the cold piece of metal. You grabbed it, and tried to tug on the knot of your ropes with the end of it as hard you could.

Minutes passed with barely any results, and you were about to give up when you felt the grip the ropes had on your arms loosen. Your soul rose and flew, and you continued to tug until they had slipped off. You pushed yourself up and started to practically throw every restraint off, cradling yourself once you threw the ropes and the gag far away from you.

The only thing you wanted to do was curl up and cry, but you had already done enough of that the past few days. You had to get out of here, maybe Darby was still alive. Maybe they were still around. Probably not, you thought to yourself. If they were fast, the Mud Dogs were faster. The last time you had tried to run, they had caught you in under a minute. But maybe there were still other people who could help you. You had been drilled countless times about how no other yōkai would like humans as much, but this could be your last chance. If they had made it to Jadetown, who knows when you would be allowed outside again? They did say they had to lay low for a while, you heard them arguing about it.

Shaking off your fears, you crawled into the driver's seat and opened the door, falling face-first into the snow. You stood on your wobbly legs and stumbled to the hood of the truck, where you saw the wide-open doors of the building your captors were in, and a bullet going into your would-be savior's head. Blood and flesh splattered all over the dark wood of the walls, and you suppressed a scream.

You fell backwards into the snow, putting a hand over your mouth and scooting away. You couldn’t find the strength to stand up. You took a glance around the parking lot. There were definitely more than two cars, but who did they belong to? You couldn’t see or hear anyone else in the building. You didn’t think they were dead. You would’ve heard screaming or a gunshot or-

You broke yourself out of your thoughts. Now wasn’t the time to worry about that. You needed to get away. If one of them turned around, your freedom would come to an end. No, you had to get into the woods. At least you could be a little concealed there. Then you could figure out what to do.

With newfound confidence and adrenaline, you made yourself stand up again. You glanced around, and saw the entrance to a hiking trail 30 yards away from you. Trying to be as quiet as possible, you stumbled to the trail, heading into more darkness.

~

The Mud Dogs walked out of the bathroom, having killed the other two yōkai that were in there and washing the blood off of their faces and hands. Leonard smoothed his hair, closing his eyes and taking a breath. It had been a long night. First, the storm. Then Darby came along. He growled at the thought of them, trying to hold himself back from kicking their body. This was all their fault. They had to lay low, and the cat almost ruined everything. He sighed. There was no use hanging up on it.

“Why is the van door open?”

Leonard and Danny snapped up at Mickey’s question, honing in on the parking lot. He was right, it was open. Tiny footsteps led to the side, going off into the forest. Leonard froze. You didn’t.

You did.

When the Mud Dogs ran out and opened the van, you were nowhere to be found. Your restraints were on the floor with a crowbar. Leonard barely bit back his scream of anger. All of the trouble they went through tonight, and now you had run off into the snowy woods without proper clothes and you were going to freeze to death if they didn’t find you on time. Just wonderful.

The three ran after your footsteps into the woods, Leonard ordering Mickey to go right after it had gotten too dark to see the forest floor. Leonard and Danny tramped forwards, pushing branches aside and keeping their ears open for any noises over the snowstorm. Danny groaned internally. Out of all the things to forget back in the Hidden City, why did it have to be the flashlight?

“Dollface! Come back!” Danny shouted, his voice echoing off the trees.

“There’s no use in yelling, Danny. They’re not going to come to us no matter how cold they are.”

“Well, at least I’m trying.” Danny mumbled, feeling his feet numb through his boots, “Maybe Mickey found them…”

“He would’ve yelled for us. Go left, I’ll keep going on ahead. They couldn't have gone far.”

You dragged your numb feet through the deep snow, trying to stay awake. The snow had soaked through your socks, which were worse-for-wear. You tried to keep yourself optimistic in spite of your numb hands and feet and exhausted mind and body. All you needed to do was make it to a road, or a house, or someone who wasn’t a criminal. That was all you…

You fell to your knees, throwing your hands in front of you to stop your nose from hitting the ground. You could barely hold yourself up, your arms shaking from weakness and the cold. Snow and ice whipped at your face, making you somehow sting and feel numb at the same time. Your attempts to push yourself up were in vain, as you fell into the snow the moment you lifted your arms. You could only turn your head to the side to avoid suffocating in the snow, and nothing else. Your thoughts felt foggy and the snow twisted to swirls in your vision. You were so cold. So tired. You just wanted to go home.

~

Danny called out your name, his ears twitching for any sort of answer or noise. Along with his insane worry, he also held anger at you. How could you do this to them? Why didn’t you just stay put?

“Hey, I found them!”

Mickey’s shout rang throughout the woods, and Danny ran towards the sound of his voice. Leonard was already there, kneeling towards your unconscious body and hoisting you off of the ground, feeling your pulse.

“Are they alive?” Danny asked, feeling his heart sink to his stomach.

“Yeah, they are, but they’re freezing. Let’s get them by that heater.”

They sped off towards the rest stop, Leonard carrying you in his arms. They reached the indoors, Mickey closing the doors behind them after he had retrieved a few lengths of rope from the van. Leonard pulled a chair in front of the heater on the left side of the room, setting you down in it. Mickey tied your arms and legs to the chair’s own limbs, making sure to tighten them to the point where you were sure to have bruises on your skin if you struggled.

Leonard cast off his jacket and threw it over you, making sure that your practically frozen fingers and feet still faced the heater. As mad as he was at you, he wouldn’t go so far as to cause body parts to fall off. He sank into a chair, leaning back and closing his eyes. It had been a long night. They just needed to sit for a while.

Danny clenched his hands around his chair, his sharp nails digging into the wood. They needed to keep you on a tighter leash. Look what you did the moment they took their eyes off of you. It was all the cat's fault. You had already gotten worked up, all antsy inside the van. Their little intervention didn’t do you any favors. Danny steeled himself. They learned something from this. You were going to learn something from this. It had been about a month since they had taken you in, and you still didn’t realize how much they cared for you. He gripped the seat in anger again. Ungrateful brat.

Mickey was grabbing random objects on the other side of the room to electrocute until they were either crispy or ash, the smell of burning filling the room. He threw his debris to the side before continuing on something else. Leonard turned his head towards his teal cohort. “Mickey! Stop that!”

Mickey gave him a death stare, but ceased his violence towards inanimate objects. He slithered over to a chair and crossed his arms, like a kid who was forced to go to their siblings piano recital.

Leonard rubbed his face with his hands. They still needed to take care of you, even if you had run off. What was the point in saving you if they didn’t take care of you afterwards? And besides, the last thing they needed was for you to get sick. Danny was the only one who really knew how to care of a sick person, and he would be fuming at you for a few days, at the very least.

He walked to the counter, taking a TV dinner and shoving it into the microwave. Once it was done, he took it out and walked over to you, pulling up a chair and sitting across from you. He grabbed your shoulder and shook you until your bleary eyes opened to a sliver.

The light was blinding after being stuck in a dark van for so long. You closed them again, but Leonard shook you again.

“Wake up,” He said.

Your entire body felt hot and cold at the same time, truly punctuating your discomfort. You were shivering and your head hurt something awful. Leonard poked a spoon against your lips. “Eat.”

You had refused to eat early in your captivity. It didn’t go well. The thought of having food shoved down your throat made you want to gag, so you opened your mouth and ate the food you were offered. You had to admit, it made you hurt a little less, having something in your stomach. Even if it was a crappy frozen dinner.

Leonard tossed out the plastic container, walked into the bathroom, and closed the door. You could vaguely hear the sound of a sink inside.

Just as you were about to try to sleep off the pain, Danny stood up. You watched him jerk his head towards the bathroom at Mickey, and the eel got up and went in. Danny walked towards you with a purpose in his steps and eyes, and he didn’t stop until he was right in front of you.

“How could you?” He almost whispered, the rage in his eyes apparent. “After everything we’ve done for you, how well we treat you, you still run from us?” He said, his voice raising, “What, do you think we’re not good enough, huh?”

Danny clenched his fists and narrowed his eyes at you. “You selfish, ungrateful brat. We take such good care of you, and you just spit that goodwill back in our face.” He leaned forwards and grabbed your face, his nails digging into your cheeks. “Never do this again. Even think about it, and I’ll show you just how bad I can be.”

You started to sniffle, which turned into full-on sobbing in a matter of moments. Your cries filled Danny with even more rage. How could you be the one crying? He hadn’t even done anything that was worth spilling tears over. He gritted his teeth as his mind went blind with rage. He’d give you something to cry about.

He raised his hand, and brought it down upon your cheek.

Danny took a step back from you as your sobbing stopped for a second, and came back in full force, a bright handprint now on your cheek. A wave of guilt flashed over him, but he turned away from you so he didn’t have to look at your trembling. You deserved it, he told himself over and over.

Leonard and Mickey walk back into the room a moment later, talking in hushed voices. When he hears your crying, Leonard halts and stares at you and the blooming bruise on your cheek. His eyes widen, and Mickey looks back and forth between everyone before grinning.

“Looks like Dan got to them first,” He said, and strolled back to his seat. Leonard turned his gaze on Danny’s back with clenched fists and a twitching eye. “What were you thinking?!” He snaps, “They’re already all cold and roughed up, what if you broke them?!”

Danny scoffs, his gaze focused on the wall and all the guilt seeming to wash away from him. “Oh, please. They’re not made of glass. They deserved it.”

Leonard took a deep breath. “We’ve all had a long night. Don’t make it even longer.”

Danny didn’t respond. Leonard resisted the urge to yell at him. As much as he wanted to, he had to make sure that Danny didn’t do lasting damage. He grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and approached you, pulling up a chair.

He held your chin up with one hand and held the ice pack up to your bruising cheek with the other. By then, your sobbing had turned to quiet hiccups and sniffles, and you were merely shivering instead of shaking like a leaf. Leonard didn’t show it, but concern rose in his chest. You ran, and that deserved consequences, but you were only a human. A tiny human, at that, weak and fragile. He had heard the stories. Humans could die if they went to bed wrong. Unfortunately, his cohorts didn’t know that, if he wasn’t there to stop them, they would’ve already broken you, and then what?

He sighed and looked at you. You diverted your gaze away from him as much as you could with his grip on your face. “Hey,” He almost whispered, “I’ll tell Danny to leave you alone, but if you run again, I might not be able to stop him.”

You finally faced him as he let go of your chin, and nodded. Your cheek flared in pain as it rubbed against the ice pack.

~

The Mud Dogs loaded into their van again, the approaching dawn apparent. Fresh ropes bound your arms and legs, although the gag wasn’t as tight as to not hurt your cheek. Mickey sat next to you, leaning against the wall. When you looked into the gloomy skies of the yōkai world through your glimpses of the windshield, you imagined the sun shining on your face

~

Taglist: @yanteetle @oleander-nin

[americaswritings]

When we fall | Part 3

Warnings (for all parts): Fluff, angst, description of injuries and blood, gun use, cursing, probably unaccurate policing/medicine

Summary: You moved to Chicago to start a new life. Working as a doctor alongside your brother Connor you make new friends and although you swore to yourself not to let any man in your life at least for a while, your promises fail when you lock eyes with a handsome stranger in a bar.

Words: 6k

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Doctor!Rhodes!reader

A/N: And here is the last part of the short series. The events are inspired by a chicago med ep. I really hope you enjoyed it :)

Part 1 | Part 2

“We’ll take care of you and your daughter.” You smiled at your patient reassuringly, noticing someone moving towards you in corner of your eye. Turning your head you saw a man with tousled hair standing at the threshold, his eyes almost hazy as his gaze skipped around the room.

“Where’s Leah?!”, he barked out, his eyes only focused on your patient. Your gaze flickered towards her, taking in the fear in her eyes and the gasp that left her lips. “Jake? How did you find us here?”, she whispered, oblivion dripping from her voice.

“Did you really think you could just leave and take our daughter with you? She’s my daughter too!” He took a threatening step closer, eyes narrowed. “Now, where is she?!”

Your patient’s breathing had quickened and a look at the heart monitor told you she was about to have a panic attack. “Sir, I need you to calm down and take a step back”, you said forcefully, drawing his attention on you. His eyes jumped to you, anger brimming in them.

“Like hell I will! I’m taking my wife and my kid home now!” Your eyes flickered towards the nurse, giving her a little nod to signal her to call the security service, before you met his again. “I can see you’re upset. But your wife and your daughter are sick. They need treatment and rest-”

“Shut up!” You flinched as he yelled at you, his loud voice alarming multiple people around you. “Everything okay in here?” Will appeared at the door, his eyes scanning the room until they landed at yours, staying there as he waited for an honest answer.

The man shook his head furiously, but he took a step back. You almost exhaled in relief. “I want to see my daughter! Now!”, he demanded, but before anyone could gave him an answer, he turned and ripped open the curtain to the next room.

You heard squeals, alarmed voices mixing with the sound of another curtain being ripped open. “Sir, I need you to leave now!” Will leaned forward to grab the man’s shoulder when suddenly he yanked out a gun, twisting around and pointing it right at Will’s chest.

A gasp escaped you as you watched Will stumble back, his hands raised. “Look man, we’re just trying to help, okay?” But the man, Jake, didn’t seem to hear any of it, his eyes filled with hatred and something that scared you even more; desperation and determination. A dangerous combination.

He wouldn’t leave until he got what he wanted.

“What’s going on here?” You heard Connor’s voice, saw him step out of a patient’s room and move towards the intruder. From his angle he couldn’t see the gun, couldn’t know the severity of the situation.

“Connor, no!” Your legs moved forward at the same time as the man turned around, the gun pointed at your brother. Everything seemed to happen so fast and in slow-motion at once as your body reacted purely on instinct, the fear for your brother carrying you forward.

You didn’t know if he meant to pull the trigger or if it was out of reflex, but you had no time to think about it as a shot rang out.

You would have screamed, but no sound left your mouth as the impact hit you, sending your body tumbling backwards until it hit the wall. Only moments before your feet had carried you forward, but now they suddenly couldn’t take your weight anymore, your body sinking to the ground.

Around you screams were erupting, but they sounded drowned out, as if you were underwater. Your name was being called, but it all seemed to blend into a haze.

You tried to peek at where you felt a sudden pressure in your body, shock mixing with confusion as you saw blood staining your clothes. Just seconds ago you had been standing in a patient’s room and now you were on the ground, your own blood pooling around your feet. It didn’t make sense.

From the periphery of your eye you saw people running. Some moved towards you, but most of them the opposite way. Away. They were running away.

And they were pushing, tripping, falling over each other. “Put down the gun!” You saw one of the security men approach, his own gun drawn at the attacker. Another shot cut through the atmosphere, but to your horror it was the security man that fell, blood splattering from a wound to his front.

“Everyone just back off!”

Jake’s sharp voice snapped you out of your shock and all at once reality hit you. Pain sank in, slowly at first and then in a stream of hot sensations. Tears formed in your eyes at the burning pain and you grit your teeth, trying to will it away, because you knew you needed to be aware of what happened next.

Lifting your head slightly you found the ER had mostly cleared out, only a few people remaining. Among them were Will and Connor, both of their bodies’ turned towards you in a way that suggested they had tried to get to you, their hands raised.

“Just let me get to my sister, okay? I’m a doctor and she needs help.” You stared at Connor, seeing the panic he tried to restrain as he appealed to the man reasonably. Jake’s eyes flickered towards you, hesitance written over his face.

“You didn’t want this to happen, do you?” Connor asked, his voice strained. “So let me make this better. Let me help.” He was pleading now and another wave of panic filled you as you realized he was only mere seconds away from doing something reckless.

For a moment you thought you were going to throw up from the sickness that cursed through your body, but you feared you wouldn’t even be able to move your body in the state you were in.

Jake let out a frustrated breath, gesturing towards you with his gun. “Okay. Okay!” Connor rushed over to you immediately, his concerned eyes meeting yours. “Are you okay? How do you feel? Can you tell me where you’ve been hit?”

You tried to follow his questions, your mind spinning. Instead of an answer you let out a groan as Connor found your wound, pressing down on it. “We need to stop the bleeding.”

Now that he was here by your side a weakness took over your body and you welcomed it. Welcomed the dark, because it felt easier to lean into it than fight it. But it never swallowed you. As much as you wished you could just pass out, the pain didn’t end, keeping you caged in your body.

You didn’t need to ask him how serious your condition was. The urgency in Connor’s movement alone was enough for you to confirm it was bad, the seeping hot pain a further indicator.

You saw Jake still waving his gun around, speaking in an animated tone with Will and Maggie. To your left someone had crouched down next to the security guard and you felt a flicker of relief when you saw it was Ethan.

A cough rose up your throat and your body shook, sending an ache through you. When you wiped your mouth you noticed your skin had turned red.

“No, no, no”, your brother whispered, his eyes frantic. “Connor”, you said, your voice a little hoarse. He paused for a moment, both of you locking eyes in a quiet exchange. “I’m scared”, you whispered, feeling a few tears escape your eyes.

Connor swallowed, his eyes filled with desperation. “I know”, he leaned closer, “But you will be okay. I will fix it, okay?.”

You nodded slowly, needing to cling to his words. To hold onto the reminder that you would be okay. That your life wasn’t over when you hadn’t even started fully living yet.

It didn’t make sense. You had woken up a few minutes before your alarm clock, had been in an oddly good mood as you had gotten ready for work and even your patients had been unusually patient and grateful. Today was a good day. Not a day that could turn into such a catastrophe in the blink of an eye.

This didn’t happen. Maybe in books or on tv. But not here, not to people like you.

“Hey!” Dr. Goodwin appeared in your vision, bending down to Connor and you. “What’s the status?” You hadn’t seen her before, but knowing she was here already gave you a sparkle of hope. As the hospital’s executive director it was her job to find solutions, even in the face of the worst possible events. She would get them out of here, somehow.

“She’s been shot in the abdomen. No exit wound so the bullet is still inside. I believe she’s bleeding internally.”

You saw a shadow cloud Dr. Goodwin’s as she looked at you and it was as if you could see the wheels in her head turning as she assessed the situation.

“What’s going on?”, you asked weakly, needing to know if the others were safe. “Mr. Whitman demands to take his wife and daughter and leave. I was on the phone with the Chicago police department. They told me he’s got a history of domestic abuse and violence. The wife filed a report on him and moved states to get him out of her life.”

“And he found her now.” You gulped, slowly piecing the pieces together. Dr. Goodwin nodded, graveness written over her face. “So what’s the plan?” It was Connor, his voice urgent.

Dr. Goodwin sighed, taking off her glasses and pinching the brick of her nose. You had never seen her like this, so defeated, and it filled you with unease.

“The police is here and a squad team too. But there is no way we can let them inside or get someone outside right now without Mr. Whitman noticing. Right now they are preparing for getting just one person in. Unarmed.”

“What help is that going to be?” Connor let out a scoff and it annoyed you how quick to judge he was, and more so, that you agreed with him. What would another person talking to Jake change?

“It would be a trained officer, who has the experience and skills to deal with these kind of high pressure situations. The plan would be for him to try and talk to Mr. Whitman first and if that’s not effective either, assess the situation and make a move or get back to the team and share valuable information with them.”

You could see Connor still shaking his head, but Dr. Goodwin stood again. “It’s the only thing Mr. Whitman has agreed to. You know I would prefer to get everyone else out, but he has been clear. If one person leaves, he is going to make use of his gun again.”

“And what are we supposed to do now? Just wait?”

“Connor”, you tried to calm him, but his eyes snapped to yours. “We need an OR now! Monique!” The blonde nurse standing next to Ethan looked over. You could see the fear written all over her face. “Can you take over for a moment?”

She gave a nod, her eyes flickering to Jake who didn’t let them out of sight. Crouching down next to you the two quickly exchanged their hands applying pressure onto your wound, the sensation making you let out a groan.

But you pushed away the pain, trying to focus on Connor. “What are you doing?”, you hissed as you watched him get up, wishing you could hold him back.

“Dr. Rhodes, we should wait for the officer to arrive. Right now the situation is stable and I can’t risk-” “Stable? Is that what you call this?” Connor pushed himself fully up now, the movement catching Jake’s eye.

“Sit back down!” But Connor lifted his hands, taking a cautious step forward. “My sister likely suffers from an internal bleeding. We need an OR to-” “No! Nobody goes anywhere!”

Connor’s face fell, his shoulders sinking, but he took another step forward. The grip the fear had around your heart tightened. “Please, I need to stop the bleeding. You don’t want her to die, right?”

Jake stared at you for a moment before his attention was back on your brother. “I just want my daughter and my wife!”

“And we get that. We do. But she-”, he turned halfway towards you, his eyes not leaving Jake for a second, “has nothing to do with this. Let me save her life.”

“I said no one goes anywhere! You save her here or you don’t save her at all. It’s on you!”

You watched Connor open his mouth again, but before he could say another word Jake stepped forward, his gun pointed directly at his chest.

“Do I look like someone who’s joking?!”, he yelled, making everyone around him flinch. Connor made himself a little smaller, taking a small step backwards while shaking his head. “Yeah, so you better listen to what I’m saying! No get your ass back down there!”

You didn’t have the heart to watch Connor when he returned to you, to see the defeat and hopeless on his face. The fear.

He had barely sat down again when another turmoil broke loose, gaining everyone’s attention. It had to be the officer Jake had allowed in, though you didn’t want to know what he would get in return for the favour.

Although you didn’t feel much hope regarding the plan, you trusted the police to make the right choice. This couldn’t be their first hostage situation, so they knew what to do, right?

What you hadn’t anticipated was that the officer coming in could be someone you knew. Someone you knew very well.

Jay.

No.

You blinked a few times, but it was unmistakably him.

His voice. His physique.

A touch at your hand drew your attention away from him for a moment and you noticed Monique had reached for it. Only now you saw you had balled your hand into a fist, all the tension left in your body visible in that one grip. Slowly she loosened it, taking your hand into hers instead and squeezing it in reassurance.

You didn’t know the young nurse so well- she was a little more on the reserved and quiet side- but the gesture filled you with deep gratitude, giving you the strength to look up again and face this new reality.

Jay hadn’t noticed you yet, his whole focus on calming Jake enough to make an uneventful entrance. When he seemed confident in the situation he scanned the room, assessing the conditions they were dealing with.

He did it with a professional calmness you wished you could have right now, his face only giving away his emotion when they fell on his brother. “Hey, man. You alright?”

He stepped forward, avoiding any rapid movements and Will nodded. “I’m okay. But Mrs. Kaden is in a bad condition. The stress on top of her physical state worries me.”

He said something else, but he had lowered his voice that it was impossible for you to understand anything. Jay nodded. “What about the two victims?”

“The security guard got hit at the shoulder. He’s stable.” “And the other one?” Will shook his head, his eyes filled with sadness. “She’s over there with Connor. It doesn’t look good, Jay.”

It was strange, listening to them and knowing they were talking about you. Waiting for the moment Jay’s eyes fell upon you.

You didn’t know what kind of reaction you were anticipating, but nothing could have prepared you for the utter shock that filled Jay’s face as he looked at you.

You watched him do a double take, every trace of his confidence and expressionlessness gone, replaced by a turmoil of emotions. He almost lunged forward, stopping himself when Jake’s warning voice filled the air.

You could see Connor’s questioning gaze on you, but you were focused fully on Jay as he made his way over to you with careful movements.

When he crouched down in front of you, he was close enough for you to see a hint of fear in his eyes. “What happened?”

Your petty argument, the distance, it all seemed forgotten as you stared at him, not strong enough to hide your own fear. “I got shot.”

Although it was obvious, it was the first time you had said the words out loud, had acknowledged the fact that this was really happening to you. It felt surreal, even with the burning pain spreading through your body, making it impossible to keep your composure.

Jay’s eyes softened as he heard your husky voice, the effort it took you to form the words another sign how bad your current shape was. For a moment his eyes drifted over your body, his face twisting in pain as he stared at your blood, before he looked up again.

“He said he’s going to kill us if he doesn’t walk out of here with his wife and his kid.” Jay nodded, his lips pressed into a thin line. “I know.”

“But- you’re here now…right?”

“Yeah, I am.” Jay tried to force an encouraging smile on his face, but you knew him well enough to know it was strained.

“You’re here”, you repeated relieved, your voice almost giving up at the end and you coughed. Jay stared at you, his eyes a little widened, his pupils dilated in fear.

He was scared. For you. He was scared for you.

“Her pulse is up to 120 and she’s sweating.” It was Monique and you saw her exchange a look with Connor. “What’s her condition?” Jay was talking to Connor now, as if he had only now realized he was there.

Under different circumstances your brother wouldn’t have let go what had just happened right in front of his eyes. He would have teased you until you would have told him the truth about Jay and you. But now he did, just like that, knowing there was no time for it as yours was running out.

The thought sent another wave of fear through your body, but with the hot pain and the growing weakness you felt too overwhelmed to do anything about it. So you tried to focus on the feeling of Monique’s hand holding yours, on Jay’s closeness and your brother’s words.

“The bullet likely caused internal bleeding. She’s losing too much blood.” Connor almost ran a hand over his face like he always did when he was stressed, stopping himself when he saw your blood on his hands.

“What do you need?”

“I need an OR. I need to find the bleeding and stop it.” His voice was a mix of desperation and determination and Jay listened intensely. His mask of professionalism was back in place, the sight having something grounding to it in the midst of this chaos, but you could detect a few flaws where his emotions threatened to pour in.

“I’m here to negotiate”, he began, eyes cast towards Jake, continuing lowly, “but really I think this will take a different ending.”

You wanted to ask him what that meant, but it seemed too difficult and you were forced to watch him get up instead. As Connor tried to get up too you tried to catch his wrist. You failed, but the movement still let him pause.

“Don’t go, please”, you whispered, your body shaking. You wished you could stop it, but you had lost all control over it, and when had it become so cold?

You felt Jay’s eyes on you as Connor leaned down to you, placing his hands on the sides of your face. “You’re sweating and your pulse is way up. Your skin is ice cold and you’re pale. I don’t need to tell you what that means. We need to do something now.”

You felt tears run down your cheeks as you tried to shake your head, silently pleading him to stay. He had already risked it with Jake once. What would he do when Connor tried it again and this time he wouldn’t give up?

“I’m coming back.” Connor stroked your cheek once before pressing a kiss against your forehead. Then he was gone, his touch only a faint memory as your head sank back against the wall.

As the two walked away from you they blurred into nothing more than silhouettes. Muffled voices filled your ears, but they were too drowned out for you to understand anything. Monique was speaking to you too, the level of her tone indicating she was saying something to soothe you, but her words never reached you either.

A part of you wanted to pass out. As much as you wanted to know what happened, with Connor and Jay not by your side any longer all your fight had left you. The pain felt unbearable now, as if someone had lit your body on fire and the flames were eating at you, slowly burning you alive.

Your throat was closing and it was getting hard to breathe. Every once in a while you choked on air, raspy coughs escaping your mouth. And it was so cold. Colder than the winter in Chicago.

The last sound you heard before the darkness finally swallowed you was a gunshot.

-

The first thing you felt when you woke was the heaviness of your body, as if an invisible weight had been placed upon you.

You could hear the steady beeping of a monitor, the sound having something reassuring to it. You listened to it for a while, too tired to pull yourself out of the haze yet.

But then the events of the day came crashing back to you, the image of Jay and Connor both leaving your side to get Jake to let them save you. The sound of a gun going off.

You blinked your eyes open, your vision only slowly clearing. But eventually it sharpened, revealing the inside of a hospital room.

You weren’t surprised at the sight, but you still paused when you took in the IV you were hooked upon. “Look who’s awake.”

Turning your head you found April at the door, a smile on her lips. But you could see it wasn’t as effortless as usual and you wondered where she had been when all of it had happened.

Had she gotten out, left to wonder about Ethan’s and everyone else’s wellbeing? Or had she been hiding in one of the other patient rooms?

“How are you feeling?” She stepped into the room, beginning her check-up on you. You let her do it, squinting when she shone a bright light in your eyes. “I’ve felt better before”, you answered truthfully, growing slightly more aware or the pressure in your abdomen.

At least it didn’t hurt yet. You didn’t want to think of the moment the pain meds would wear off.

“Where’s my brother?” April had finished her tests, squeezing your hand. “He’s still in the hospital. I told him to go home and get some rest, but he insisted on staying.”

April shook her head, clearly disapproving of your brother’s choices. “But I did get him to take a shower. He should be in the on-call rooms right now. Do you want me to go and get him?”

You thought about it for a moment. “No, let him sleep. It’s been a hell of a day for him too.”

April nodded, a small smile on her lips. “What about detective Halstead? Do you want me to send him home too?”

You stared at her in surprise. “He’s still here? Wait- how much time passed?”

“5 hours. And yes, he’s here. Actually, he just got himself a coffee. I might have forgotten to mention how disgusting the one from the vending machine is.”

“You’re evil.” You narrowed your eyes at her, chuckling. April shrugged. “Can’t have anyone know our secrets. So what is it with you and the other Halstead. Is he the one you’ve been texting this whole time?”

You hesitated, ready to deny her words, because you were used to keeping it a secret. But you weren’t sure that was possible after today, and honestly it all seemed so unimportant know that you had almost lost your life.

“We were. But things are kind of- complicated between us so I’m not sure where we’re standing.”

“Well”, April walked towards the door, a smile on her lips, “whatever it is it can’t be so serious. You should have seen the way he looked at you when you came out of surgery.”

Your chest tightened as a wave of emotions flooded you. “He really stayed for me?”

April grinned. “He might have claimed there to be paperwork at first. And then that he wanted to look after his brother. But Will went home hours ago and guess who spend the whole time of your surgery pacing the waiting room.”

April winked at you. “I’m going to search for Ethan now. I wanted to wait for you to wake up before leaving.”

Warmth filled you and you had to blink away the tears, touched by everyone’s concern for you. But the mention of Ethan’s name had also reminded you that you hadn’t been the only one hurt today.

“Is everyone okay? The security guard, did he make it?”

“Oh yeah, we’re all okay.” Before she could say another word someone else appeared in the doorway and April left, a knowing smile on her lips.

“Hey.” You didn’t think you had ever heard Jay speak so softly. It made you want to pull him close and snuggle up beside him, be safe in his arms and forget everything else.

“Hey”, you said, trying to sit up a little, but realizing it was a pointless mission.

You supressed a grin when you noticed the coffee cup in his hand, but Jay had followed your gaze, lifting it up. “That’s the worst coffee I’ve ever had”, he declared, “and we’ve only got a new machine at the precinct last year.”

You chuckled lightly. “We have the good one hidden in the break room. But don’t tell anyone I’ve told you that.”

Jay grinned. “Your secret’s safe with me.” Pulling a chair to your bedside and setting his cup on the nightstand he sat next to you, his eyes flickering over your face.

“I prefer when I am the one taking the bullet.”

He smiled, but it was a sad smile, the stress from the past hours visible on his face. “What can I say? You made it seem so effortless.”

But Jay didn’t seem amused, his eyes heavy. “When I heard about the hostage situation, I hoped you weren’t on shift. I called you, but you didn’t pick up.” He blew out a breath.

“And my brother didn’t either so-” He ran a hand over his face. “It’s why I needed to be the one going in. I needed to know if you were okay.”

“And they let you?” Although you knew they had, you were surprised Jay had been chosen. You didn’t doubt his capability as a cop, but just like you weren’t allowed to be on a personal case you had believed Jay’s involvement would have been a red flag as well.

“Not at first, no. But I was very convincing. And Voight’s not too strict about the rules anyway.”

You didn’t want to imagine the length Jay might have gone to, to get what he wanted. Especially with Voight, who didn’t appreciate anyone speaking up against him or acting out of line.

You stirred a little, your body beginning to ache. “What happened after I passed out?”

Jay’s brows drew together and you could see the graveness in his eyes. “He wouldn’t let you go.” His jaw hardened. “Like I said, negotiations didn’t work with him.”

“Does that mean…-”, you trailed of, your heart heavy. Jay gritted his teeth. “Our backup plan was for me to lead him somewhere the squat team could take the shot.”

“So he’s dead now?” You didn’t know what to feel when Jay nodded his head once. Certainly not regret, not after what he had done, but there was no relief either. Instead you just felt numb, like the turmoil of emotions you had experienced in the past hours had left you completely empty.

“And the mother and her kid?” “They are okay.” Jay seemed as relieved to deliver those news as you felt and for the first you truly allowed yourself to take a big exhale. “As okay as they can be under these circumstances.”

“How could he even walk in with a gun?” You shook your head in disbelief, wishing for answers you know you would never get. “The hospital’s head launched an investigation”, Jay told you and you imagined the stress Dr. Goodwin must be facing even now that it was over.

“That’s good I guess”, you muttered. “Yeah.” But Jay seemed somewhere else with his thoughts and for a moment you feared he would go back to being distanced towards you.

But to your surprise he leaned forward, his hand almost touching yours on the bed. “What happened?”

You scrunched up your nose in confusion. “To you. What happened to you? How did you get shot?”

You took a deep breath, knowing you would have to face that question again once Connor was up. He would be upset, but as much as you regretted your action, wished things had gone differently, you couldn’t say it had been a mistake. Not if you had prevented something worse, like a bullet hitting your brother.

“It all happened so fast.” You closed your eyes, trying to recall the moment. But your memories were hazy, the images blurry, only in fragments.

“I saw Connor coming out of a patient’s room and he- he couldn’t see the gun. Jake would have shot him. He- I- I had to do something.”

When you opened your eyes again you saw Jay’s green eyes staring intensely at you, his brows furrowed deeply.

A shadow covered his face, but it vanished before you could ask about it.

“So you’d rather get yourself killed?” It sounded a little accusing and your face fell, anger filling you. “Don’t you think I know that now? But you would have done the same for Will. I know you would have.”

Jay shifted. “That’s different”, he said, but you tilted your head at him. “I’m too tired for that conversation.”

Jay looked hurt and disappointed, but you didn’t regret your words. You couldn’t take his arguments now, not now when you were still coming to terms with the reality that you had almost lost your life.

“I didn’t know you were so selfless. I mean-”, Jay rubbed the back of his head, “I knew, because of your job and how you treat your patients, but taking a bullet for someone else? I didn’t know you were a hero.”

He was smiling now, trying to loosen the atmosphere, but this words had the opposite effect on you. “I’m not”, you said quietly. “I didn’t even mean to do that. My body just- reacted. That’s not bravery or selflessness.”

This time Jay touched your hand, the unexpected gesture drawing your attention back to him. “It’s always an instinct. It happens too quickly for anyone to make a conscious decision. It can be a reflex and still be brave. Because you didn’t hesitate.”

You hadn’t thought of it like that before and you started at him, your thoughts swirling in your brain as the desire to be close to him clouded your mind once more.

“Does it ever get easier?” You blinked, a little scared to be so vulnerable in front of him. “On tv they are fine after that. They are so cool about it. But what if I’m not fine? What if that was probably the worst thing that ever happened to me and I’m so scared?”

You bit your lip, forcing back the tears. But the truth was you weren’t ready to die yet. And coming so close to death had left its marks on you. You could feel it everywhere, as you gazed around the room, took in all the sensations you could feel, looked at Jay beside you. It was all so much.

“Hey.” Jay squeezed your hand. “That’s acting. It’s fake. You almost died. You’re not supposed to be fine right now.”

A tear escaped your eye and you wiped at it, trying not to be furious at yourself for losing your composure in front of Jay. “I don’t know how you do it. Getting shot at and still running towards danger and not away.”

Jay seemed sheepish out of a sudden, no hint of his usual confidence and wit. “It’s my job. Just like I could never do what you do.” You felt yourself smile a little, his recognition making you feel a little less small in the hospital bed. “And sometimes there are- things that happen on this job that you don’t just get over. We all have things we’re dealing with. Even I.”

Now you squeezed his hand, trying to show him you were there if he ever needed to talk to someone. Jay looked at you with gratitude in his eyes. He understood, even without words.

Silence settled in, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable. There came no pressure to come up with something to say, no need to say anything at all and you could see it was the same for Jay, his thoughts drifting.

“So Connor huh?”

You hadn’t expected the question, drawing your brows together. “What?”

Jay licked his lips, inhaling. “I saw you two together. And then today-”, he trailed off, gazing to the side as he collected himself.

“I don’t know what you saw-”, you began, but Jay raised a hand. “Don’t deny it. I’m not blind. It’s obvious how much you care for each other.”

You started at him, rendered speechless as you tried to imagine what he could have seen. But it didn’t matter, because Jay was- “You’re jealous!”

He twisted in his chair, pulling his hand away. “I’m not jealous”, he said, but you shook your head, grinning. “Yes, you are.”

Annoyance flashed over his face. “I just don’t like to be played with.” Your smile faded a little, but the relief you felt only grew as your slowly began to piece it all together.

“That’s why you acted so cold towards me out of a sudden. You saw me and Connor and you thought-” You almost let out a laugh, only suppressing it as you took in Jay’s unamused expression.

“Well detective Halstead, Connor is my brother.”

You watched with delight how his face turned into confusion, surprise and then hope. “He’s your brother”, he repeated in disbelief and you nodded. “I told you I came to Chicago, because I have family here.”

Jay let out a groan, the previous tension melting from his body as your words sank in. “But Will-”, he paused, clearly rethinking something his brother had said to him, “that bastard. When I saw you together I asked him about you and he warned me not to try anything, because of Connor. He never thought to mention once that he’s your brother.”

“You asked Will about me?”

Jay narrowed his eyes playfully. “That’s what you’re concerned about?”

You let out a laugh. “Not concerned, no. I just- you asked your brother about me.”

Jay raised his brow. “Why is that so hard to believe? I mean, you asked him about me too.”

Your face flushed. “I did not!”

“Yes, you did!” Jay chuckled, clearly enjoying your embarrassment. “Will told me about it. It’s why he got so suspicious so fast when I brought you up.”

“And then he mentioned Connor and you figured-” “he said that if I tried anything with you I would have to deal with Connor Rhodes. And it’s not like you two have the same last name.”

“Different moms”, you explained and he sighed. “I should have just talked to you, but I got so mad and then I heard you two talk and I just- reacted.”

“You should have”, you agreed, “but I should have been more open with you too.”

“So, let’s try again?”

His voice sounded so soft when he said it you felt yourself melt under the covers. “If you’re ready to deal with Connor Rhodes”, you pointed out playfully and Jay shrugged, his natural confidence back.

“After I helped save your life I’m pretty sure I’m well in with him. Which reminds me, you owe me three times now.”

You rolled your eyes, feeling the tiredness return to your body. Soon enough you would be drifting off again. “It’s twice, considering you cancelled our first date.”

Jay grinned. “Fair enough. But I’m taking you out once you’re out of here.”

You smiled. “I’m counting on it.”

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[giuliettagaltieri]

Doctor's Order

Pairing: Surgeon!Eren x Nurse!Reader

Synopsis: You could not make your crush on Dr. Eren Jaeger any more obvious. And even though you can tolerate his usual cold demeanor, you also know when to draw the line.

Warning: Unrequited love, cursing, angst, operation procedure, mentions of blood.

Word Count: 1792

1 of 3

The operating room department of Paradis Medical Centre is never boring with you around.

Your sweet wit and jolly personality just about brighten anyone's day, except for Dr. Eren Jaeger who seems to be eternally tortured by a cause unknown to you.  He is immune to your charms, which makes you like him even more.

“I need the chart of patient Bozado.”  A deep voice speaks behind the nurses’ station.  Your back immediately straightens up and a blinding smile makes its way to your lips.

“Good morning, Doc!”  You scan through the charts until you find the one that he needs, you hand the metallic clipboard to Eren with another one of your smiles.

Your coworkers no longer bat an eye when you skip around the counter to sit next to him on a table nearby.  The man, still not acknowledging you as he scans through the patient’s chart.  Ulou Bozado, this is his third time having his tongue stitched after a severe tongue laceration, they would need to find better interventions for that man.

“Are you busy this afternoon?”  You ask sweetly, your face resting on your palms as you stare at him with your wide, expecting eyes.

“Yes.”  He says without much hesitation.

“A new café just opened in the lobby.  We should totally go.”

 Eren’s tired eyes land on you and he sighs.  “I have a conference.”

You giggle.  “The one with Doctor Smith?  It’s not until seven in the evening.”

His eyes narrowed at you, suspicious as to how you found out.

“So later then?  After our shift?”  You beam.

“What did I just tell you?”  He asks while scanning the chart again.

“Oh, come on.  Ren-”

He clicks his tongue.  “That’s Doctor Jaeger to you.”

Some of the other nurses and doctors in the station glance at you, waiting and watching how you’ll react to this.

Your eyebrows raise in surprise at his tone but a sly smile makes its way to your lips.  “As your possible wife in the near future, shouldn’t I have the right to call you by your name?”

He releases a long exasperated breath, he’s done dealing with your bullshit for today.  Eren signs an order he just wrote in the chart and slams it close, he shoves it to you and gets up to leave without sparing you a reply.

The other staff in the room go about their previous tasks as if nothing happened.  Well, this is an everyday occurrence, of course they got used to it.

“So, later then?”  You laugh while watching him retreat to the Doctors’ lounge.

“Call me when the patient’s being rolled in.  Until then, I’d like nothing but silence from you.”  And he slams the door close, making you shake your head while laughing.  He’s so fun to tease.

“You sure are playing with fire, Y/N.”  Historia comments with a slight shiver. 

You swat the air as if to dismiss her fear.  “He’s just pretending to be an apathetic asshole but he’s actually really nice.”  You put the chart back while Historia follows you around fiddling with her scrubs that are identical to yours.  “Last week, he did an operation free of charge.”

Her eyes widened.  “For that kid that was in a vehicular accident?”

Nodding, you grab your phone.  “Was just avoiding an old man who crossed the road.  Poor kid.”  You sighed.  “Anyway, what would you like me to get for you?”

She squealed.  “I forgot!  You’ll be leaving for your trip tomorrow.”

You press your fingers to her lips to silence her.  “Historia!”

“Oh.”  She stifled her giggles.  “Sorry.”

“I don’t wanna jinx this into a toxic shift.”

 She rolls her eyes playfully.  “But how bad could it be?  Two-week vacation?  Are you kidding me?” 

You laugh as you open your note app.  “Now, tell me what you want.”

As it turns out, you did jinx yourself.

The operation with patient Bozado went swiftly but then ER made a call two hours before your shift ends.  They’re bringing in a patient who was in a vehicular accident and her seatbelt just about crushed her spleen.

You almost bump into Eren on your way to the operating theater.  And he sends a sharp glare at you.

You listen to the endorsement of the ER nurse as you scrub in and drop instruments into the sterile field.  The circulating nurse is busy trying to make a call outside the theater.  They’re trying to reach the on-call surgeons but nobody’s picking up.

They have Eren here.  A highly qualified general surgeon.  Why would they contact other people?

The anesthesiologist comes in to sedate the patient as you finish preparing the instruments in a manner that Eren preferred. 

When he comes in, you notice a strained expression on his face.

“Where’s the assistant surgeon?  The interns?”  He asks.

“It’s just you today, Doc.”  The anesthesiologist says.

You hand him a towel and he dries his hands thoroughly and flings the towel to the side with much force that makes you glance at him.

“The fuck are you staring around for?”  He snaps loudly, gaining the room’s attention to you. 

You serve him the gown, apologizing profusely.  Your hands quiver when you open the gloves for him and in haste to serve it to him, your hands slip and the sterile glove drops to the floor.

“If you mess up in my theater one more time-”

“I won’t, I-I’m sorry.”  You say with your eyes turning glassy.

The circulating nurse drops a new pair of gloves in the field and you carefully offer it to Eren.  He adjusts it on his hands and he watches the patient carefully as they prep her abdomen.

“Begin initial count.”  Eren tells you.  The circulating nurse stands a few feet away from you with a clipboard and you start counting off the number of sponges, instruments, and needles.

“Excuse me, Doctor Jaeger, Doctor Pyxis, and the rest of the surgical team.  The initial counting of sponges, instruments, and needles is complete.”  You say.

“Vitals?”  He asks the anesthesiologist, Dr. Dot Pyxis.

“Stable.”  The anes responds while glancing at you and you give him a reassuring smile.  “You can start now, Doctor Jaeger.”

You quickly pull the mayo table and you stand next to Eren.

“Scalpel.”  He says without looking at you.

The blade holder clatters softly against the kidney basin and you hand it to him.  You watch him crack his neck after taking a deep breath through the mask and he presses the tip of the blade against the patient’s skin.  You quickly grab a surgical sponge.

“Sponge.” 

You put it on Eren’s waiting hand and he wipes at the blood that seeps out.

“Cautery.” 

You give it to him.

The operation continues and you watch Eren trying to locate the ruptured part of the spleen.  You glance at him when he clicks his tongue, just as a small spray of blood stains your gown. 

“Hemo-” 

But you were already passing him the hemostat.  Eren quickly clamps the vessel.

“Irrigation.”  You push the plunger of the syringe to squirt out fluid in the abdominal cavity and you carefully refill the syringe with the same sterile solution.

“Am I supposed to work blindly here?”  Eren’s voice booms as he glares at you.

You freeze and your wide eyes, now full of fear, stare back at him.

“Suction!”  He says loudly and you immediately hand him the suction tip.

He yanks it from you and you bow your head in shame.  You bite your lips hard enough that you taste tangy copper but you blink the tears away.  You refuse to cry in front of him.

The operation ends after a few more outbursts from Eren.

After the patient is rolled to the post anesthesia care unit, you linger around in the theater to clean up, and so you’ll have an excuse not to come to the station where Eren is definitely writing the report in the patient’s chart.

“What an asshole, amiright?”  the anesthesiologist drawls to you as he bounces a leg while sitting on a chair in the corner.

You only smile at him politely, refusing to confirm his words.

“He definitely shouldn’t have done that to you.”  He says more seriously now.  “Even if she was his friend.”

Your hands pause and you look at him.

“Patient Ackerman is his friend?”

He nods.  “Back in med school, or even before that.”  He stands to stretch.  “Well, I’ll be off now.  You better bring me souvenirs from that trip of yours.”

You stare off into the swinging doors, the silence of the empty theater rings on your ears.

That explains his behaviour. 

The law says that he was not supposed to operate on immediate family and friends. 

Or was it about something else.

You clean up the sterile instruments along with the orderly.  He keeps glancing at you, but you deliberately chose not to meet his eyes as you know exactly what he wanted to ask, and you refuse to be the subject of their pity.

On your way back to the nurses’ station, you take a glance inside the post anesthesia care unit or PACU as you call it.

And a single glance inside has you ashamed of your actions.

It seems like Dr. Jaeger and apparently Dr. Ackerman, not just patient Ackerman, share something deeper than friendship.

You pursued a man who is in a relationship.

Eren was slumped on the chair next to her.  His hair is disheveled and his face rests on his hands.  He looks equally distraught as he is exhausted.

The cardiac monitor beeps and he stands abruptly to see what went wrong.

He lets out a breath of relief when she stabilizes once more.

Your eyes sting with tears.  You do not understand why you are so upset with yourself.  Was it for letting him lash out on you, or was it for pining for him when he is already head over heels for someone.

You choke back your tears and head to the station.  Historia is already waiting for you.  Her eyes looked angry but she was so gentle in handing you your stuff. 

You thanked her when she gave you the procedure sheet which needed your signature. 

You sniffled and quickly cleared your throat.

“I’ll see you in two weeks.”  You smile at her.

“That’s it!”  She says loudly just before grabbing hold of your hands over the counter.  “You go enjoy that trip, you hear me?  You have to enjoy it so hard that you’ll forget that he even existed!”

The other nurses cheer and some of the other surgeons nod at you.

You glance in the direction of the PACU.

Damn right you’re gonna enjoy this trip.

Doctor's Order • Progress Notes • Care Plan

[rafedaddy01]

i have an idea omg like dark¡ rafe has an unrequited love for reader since he was a kid and that love grows more and more obssessive and one day he gets tired of the constant pain of rejection and he goes INSANE (i mean more than he already is lol). he's utterly obsessed and everyone notices that, like reader never liked him back and still he would always act possessive towards her, getting into fights with guys, always refering to her as his "wife" and always telling everyone she was HIS, showing up at her house, giving TOO MANY gifts and being a total psycho in general

Summary: Rafe is utterly obsessed with reader and will do anything to win her over.

Warnings: Rafe is a psycho. Rafe beats someone up. Mentions of blood.

Notes: I hope this is psychotic enough for you

Not proof read - forgive any grammatical errors

“Y/n please! Why won’t you just give me a chance!” He was yelling at this point, drawing the attention of the party goers.

“Rafe calm down” she said in a quiet but stern voice.

“Y/n, please!” Rafe was on his knees at this point, tears in his eyes.

“You’re pathetic” she said as she rolled her eyes and walked off, leaving him on his knees for her.

At this point Rafe was fed up with the constant rejection. Something snapped inside him and he stood with a fire in his eyes.

He pushed past the crowd and exited the house, heading to his car.

He paced around the driveway for a while, gripping and tugging his hair before turning and slamming his fist into the car window. It shattered on impact and shards of glass spilt his skin as the blood trickled down his wrist. He didn’t care, this pain was nothing compared to the one of him losing his girl.

She wasn’t really his but he wouldn’t quit.

He cursed under his breath as he angrily got inside the car and drove home.

-

The next day he hung around the country club hoping to see her.

With luck she walked in, her arm around another guy.

Rafe saw red as he downed his glass of whiskey and walked up to the couple.

“Rafe what-“ she didn’t have time to finish her sentence as Rafe grabbed the fellow and pushed him up against the railing, he held him there and laid punch after punch.

“Rafe stop! You’re gonna kill him, please stop!” She cried behind him but he was too caught up with images of where the guys hands held her waist.

He eventually pulled away and pushed the guy into the railing and watched as the guy slid to the ground, covered in his own blood and snot, his eyes swollen shut and evident bruises forming.

He turned around to y/n and his features softened at her sobs.

“I’m sorry I scared you baby, I just couldn’t let someone else touch what’s mine” he reached out for her and she pulled back.

“I’m not yours Rafe! And I never will be, your psychotic. Get the fuck away from me” she screamed before running out of the club.

He debated about following her but he knew she just needed time to come to terms with things.

He’d check up on her tomorrow.

-

He stood nervously outside y/n’s house with a bouquet of her favorite flowers and a box. Inside the box was a beautiful Diamond necklace, one that he knew would decorate her perfect neck beautifully.

He rung the doorbell and his heart rate picked up as he heard her footsteps.

He heard her laugh before she swung the door open and her laugh dissipated at the sight of him.

“What are you doing here Rafe?” She shielded herself with the door but Rafe pushed himself inside.

“These are for you” he said wiggling the flowers in front of her face.

“And this” he said opening the box with the necklace.

Her eyes widened and he smiled at her expression, she was so beautiful it physically hurt him.

He leaned forward to place a kiss on her cheek but she pulled away and reopened the front door.

“Get out.” She said sternly.

“What?” Rafe asked confused.

“Rafe, get the fuck out”

She took a deep sigh.

“I don’t know how many times to tell you. But I will tell you once more. Get this through your thick, psychotic, fucked up head. I am not yours nor will I ever be. I don’t like you and this obsession you have with me is honestly nauseating. Leave, please” she sounded so pained and exhausted.

Rafe didn’t want to leave, but he found himself exiting the house anyway.

“And take those gifts with you, I don’t want them” she shut the door in his face and that was it.

Rafe straightened himself out. She just needed time, she’d come around he thought.

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[atlafan]

1963 - Part 1

a/n: I have been dying to share this with yall and I'm so excited to finally be doing that. As per usual, this is the only part that will be posted here on Tumblr.All other parts will be posted on Patreon. In fact, Part 2 is already up! And Part 3 will be posted Friday.

Please consider joining my Patreon. It's only $5 a month, and it charges you the following month on the date you joined. So, if you signed up today, you wouldn't get charged again until January 10th. I post 2-4 times per month. If anything is under 10K words, that's usually when I'll post more. I depend on this extra income to help pay bills for essentials. The community there is also incredible and I write and post some of my nastiest smut on there, so if that's what you're looking for, you'll get it!

Warnings: mentions of infertility

Words: 3.8K

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“Every month I keep hoping I’ll have different news for you two,” Doctor Simmons sighed, “unfortunately, I have the same news. Beverly still isn’t with child.”

“We’ve been trying for five months, we’ve been doing everything you’ve said. Beverly drinks the teas, she lays with her legs up after we’re done, I don’t know what else we can do.” Robert was exasperated at this point. He was squeezing his wife’s hand, desperately trying not to let any tears escape his eye ducts.

“You two have exhausted all natural remedies, so I think it’s time we consider IVF.”

Beverly’s eyes widened, and she squeezed Robert’s hand back. She looked at him, panicked.

“Beverly is terribly afraid of needles.”

“You don’t need to decide on anything right now. Take these pamphlets and look over the information. If you two want to have a baby of your own, then this may be the next step.”

“We’ll look it over and have an answer by our next appointment.”

Robert and Beverly are silent on the drive home from the doctor’s office. They’re silent on their way back into their home. Beverly goes right to the kitchen to get started on dinner. Robert comes up next to her and puts her hand over hers.

“We should read the literature on IVF.” He said.

“I have friends who have done it, and all it has done is make their hormones crazy, and not in a fun way. I really don’t want to, Robert. I’ve done everything else, please don’t make me do this.”

“It feels like sometimes I’m the only one who wants to have a baby.”

“How could you say something like that to me? If I’m infertile-“

“You’re not, though. Doctor Simmons has run every type of blood test on you.”

“I know, I was there when the nurse was drawing it after you accused me of secretly taking birth control pills.”

“Well, with how apprehensive you were about having your diaphragm removed, I had to make sure you weren’t doing any self-sabotage.”

“Maybe I’m not getting pregnant because my body knows you don’t trust me.”

“I do trust you, you just weren’t exactly thrilled to start trying.”

“You sprung it on me, I was surprised. We never really discussed having kids before we got married.”

“Sweetheart, why would two people get married if not to have kids?” He chuckled.

“That’s not why I married you. I married you because I love you and I want to be with you.”

“I love you and want to be with you too. But if I hadn’t wanted kids, we could have just shacked up in an apartment in the city. I bought us a house in the suburbs so you could keep house and raise our kids. You like being a housewife, you’ve told me as much.”

“I do. I like making your meals and keeping things tidy, but I also like my free time. I like to go have brunch with the other ladies, and I like going to the library to check out new film analysis journals, and I like being able to go to the movies in the middle of the day. Having a baby means I can’t do those things anymore. At least, not until it’s old enough to go to school. That’s five solid years I’d be putting on hold. And within that five years, I could have at least two more kids. So, now I’m thirty-one with three kids under the age of five, and oh yeah, I’ll still be expected to keep the house clean and cook all your meals and pleasure you even though everything between my legs will feel like sandpaper.”

Robert eyes his wife, then puckers his lips in thought. “Is that how you’ve really been feeling? You haven’t said a word.”

“I didn’t want to disappoint you. You’re not easy to talk to these days. Every time I reach for my clip-belt for my sanitary napkins, I can see you watching with such sadness in your eyes. Motherhood is scary. My friends tell me these horror stories about childbirth. Their husbands barely take a week off from work to be home with them and the baby. So, we’re expected to push these kids out, then get up the next day and get back to our usual routines.”

“Beverly, you’re worried about things women have been doing since the beginning of time. Don’t be such a child. The fear of needles I can understand, but the fear of being a mother makes no sense. I know you and your mother have a strained relationship, but that doesn’t mean history will repeat itself.” He placed his hands on her shoulders. “If we’re not pregnant by our next appointment with Doctor Simmons, then I would like us to start IVF. Have I made myself clear?”

“Yes, dear.”

“Good.” He looked at the ingredients on the counter and grimaced. “I don’t want meatloaf tonight, make something else instead.”

“Yes, dear.”

“I’m gonna go to my office, have a beer, and listen to the ball game. Let me know when dinner is on the table.”

“Yes, dear.”

Robert smiled, grabbed a beer out of the fridge, and walked out of the kitchen. Beverly took a deep breath and rummaged through her cabinets to see what else she could possibly whip up for dinner. It needs to be something heavy enough that Robert won’t feel like making love before bed. Beverly doesn’t have it in her to put on a performance tonight.

**

Most people get married to have kids. Beverly married Robert because she loved him. He wanted to take care of her. But when the honeymoon phase ended, and he stopped saying thank you to her for all of the things she did to take care of him, she grew resentful. She never let on about it. Robert didn’t need to know how she really felt. Opening up the way she did the day prior wasn’t normal. Things had been good between them for a long time. Beverly didn’t mind stepping into the role of a stay-at-home wife. She was college educated, but it wasn’t like she’d ever be able to carry a position in the profession of her desire. And since she didn’t want to be a schoolteacher or a nurse, Robert asked her to stay home to tend to the house he had bought for them.

At twenty-three, she really hadn’t minded. They met in college, as so many young couples do, and it was love at first sight. Their courtship was disgustingly romantic, and their wedding was a dream come true. The honeymoon phase was so sickly sweet. Beverly enjoyed making breakfast for Robert before he left for work. She enjoyed sending him on his way. She had the whole day to herself. She’d tend to her various gardens, and she’d make sure the house was clean. She’d meet up with friends for brunch. She did everything a good wife was supposed to do.

At twenty-six, Beverly feels like she’s on autopilot. She can’t help but wonder if the reason why older couples have designated sex nights is because the wives must need the six days in between to psych themselves up. She also can’t help but wonder if this is why so many older couples opt for twin beds that can be pushed together or pulled apart.

And it’s not that Beverly doesn’t want kids, she thinks it could be fun, but she’s petrified of essentially raising a child by herself. Robert will stroll in from work, bounce the baby on his knee for all of two minutes, and call it a night. She’s scared for all the reasons she tried to explain the day prior. Robert also didn’t give Beverly a choice five months ago…

“I was thinking of maybe enrolling in graduate school.” Beverly brought up one morning over breakfast. Robert had nearly choked on his toast. “I know what you’re thinking, but you wouldn’t have to pay for a thing. They have stipends for students. I could teach while I learn.”

“I thought you didn’t want to teach.”

“I didn’t want to teach children, but something about having high level discussions with college students makes teaching sound like fun. I miss being in school.”

“What’s the point of a graduate degree in film and media? It’s not like you can do anything with it.”

“A graduate degree could lead to a doctorate, and I could keep teaching. I know female professors are few and far between, especially in the world of film, but it is possible.”

“So, you want to be a career woman, is that what you’re saying?”

“Not exactly. Classes wouldn’t take up all my time. I’d still be able to cook and clean and do everything I’m doing now. Except now when I go to the library, I’ll be doing schoolwork instead of reading for leisure.”

“Seems like you have it all figured out already.”

“Well, I wanted to show you I had thought it all through, that I was serious. You got your graduate degree. If you hadn’t, we never would have met.”

“Exactly. What if some older professor comes on to you? You’d have no way to protect yourself.”

“Oh, Robert, I’ve gone this long without something horrible happening to me on a college campus, I think I’d be fine. Besides, all I’d need to do is show off the lovely rings on my finger.” She grinned. “No one would mess with a married woman whose husband can afford a diamond like this.”

“Did you already sign up for a course?”

“Of course not. I wanted to speak with you first.”

“Good.” He finished his breakfast. “Let me think on it.”

“Alright. Anything in particular you want for dinner tonight?”

“Actually, I was thinking we could go out tonight. I wanted to take you somewhere nice.”

“Oh? For what?”

“Does a husband need a reason to treat his wife to a romantic evening?”

“No.” She giggled. “I’m just excited at the prospect of a spontaneous date night. I’ll pick out a dress I haven’t worn in a while, so it feels like new.”

“I think that’s a great idea.” He stood and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll call you before I leave work, so you’ll know when to expect me.”

“Okay, have a good day, dear.”

Beverly was excited. A night out was a positive sign. Robert wouldn’t take her out just to give her bad news. He was going to say yes to her going back to school.

The restaurant Robert took Beverly to was ritzy. He danced with her, ordered an expensive bottle of wine, and kissed on her shoulder and neck while he sat next to her in their booth. That sickly sweet feeling Beverly thought might be gone was sparking again. When the cheesecake came out, they fed each other bites. It was adorable.

“Are you having a good time tonight?” He asked.

“Yes, this has been such a wonderful evening. Thank you for taking me here.”

“You’re welcome, Bev.” He put his hand over hers and gave it a squeeze. “I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately, and our conversation this morning was the kick in the pants I needed, so I’m really glad you brought up graduate school.”

“I’m glad it was a positive conversation.” She smiled. “What’s been on your mind?”

“I think it’s time we started trying for a baby.” All of the color drained from Beverly’s face, but her smile never wavered. She couldn’t let on how disappointed she was. “You’re clearly bored with the amount of free time on your hands. I know school seemed like a fun thing to do to pass the time, but I think we’ve waited long enough. We’ll be married almost four years soon, I think we know what we’re doing in the bedroom by now. So, next week, I’m taking you to the doctor to have your diaphragm removed-“

“You called my doctor about something like that?”

“I know it’s a bit awkward, but it’s not a secret that you have one. I went with you when you got it, I should be with you when you have it taken out.”

“Robert…I don’t like that it feels like you’re not giving me a choice. What if I’m not ready?”

“It’s not that you don’t have a choice, I’m just stating that it’s time. You take care of me just fine, you’ll be a great mother. This is what I would rather you do than go back to school. Besides, think of the fun we’ll have while we’re working at it. I got excited at work today thinking about it. I was hoping tonight could be a test run.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “I love you so much, Bev, I wanna turn that love into a physical being.”

“Yeah, um, that makes perfect sense. Let’s…let’s make a baby.”

“Really?” He asked, elated.

“Yes, dear.”

Robert kissed his wife. He kissed her in the car. He kissed her on the way into their home, up the stairs, and into their bedroom. He made love to his wife, then called it a night.

After getting her diaphragm removed, they waited until after her next period was done to start trying. This gave Beverly plenty of time to figure out how she could avoid pregnancy. She needed to keep some semblance of control over her own body. Robert wasn’t going to tell her when she was ready. She could decide that on her own.

Lysol douching didn’t work, she knew this. Her sister told her as much. Some of her friends offered her their birth control pills, but she knew they’d show up on a blood test, which Robert made sure she had after the second month of her still not having gotten pregnant. Beverly may have studied film, but she was an excellent student in biology and chemistry as well. She knew how condoms worked. They were coated in spermicides. She just needed to figure out how to coat her vagina with it. She bought condoms and squeezed all of the lubricant and spermicide off them and got a good amount into a bottle. She mixed it with olive oil, what ancient Greeks used to use, and douched with that before having sex with Robert. She knew it would be a long shot if it worked, but she had to try.

When the third month came along, and she still wasn’t pregnant, she took solace is knowing her little concoction was working. And because Robert never went down on her, he’d never smell or taste a thing. When he used his fingers, he just thought she was extra wet, which made him feel proud of himself.

She was perfectly content with her plans until the topic of IVF came up. Even the harshest of solutions couldn’t stand up to IVF injections. She never felt bad for lying to Robert because she didn’t like that he had become so controlling, but she also didn’t think she’d be doing this for so long. The thought of her giving her body up didn’t sound any more appealing five months later.

What was she going to do?

**

“I really think that one is gonna be a winner.” Robert sighed happily as he relaxed into the bed, looking over at Beverly as she lay with her legs in the air. “I’m glad we waited a couple of days in between, feels like my boys swam stronger.”

“Yes, dear.” Beverly closed her eyes and tried to breathe steadily, counting down the minutes until she could go use the bathroom and cleanse herself.

“I had an idea today. I really want to spare you from having to be injected with needles. I’m a good husband, and good husbands protect their wives. So, since we have about five weeks until our next appointment, I thought we could try one last natural method.”

“I’m listening.” She turned her head to look at him, intrigued.

“I overheard some ladies talking in the break room this morning. It’s the one good thing about having so many female secretaries. Anyways, they happened to be discussing various issues with conceiving. One of them said they had a friend who got pregnant the second she and her husband stopped focusing so much on it. The wife threw herself into different projects, and a month or so later, she was pregnant.”

“Wait.” She sat up on her elbows. “Are you saying I can enroll in a graduate course after all?”

“What, no.” He laughed. “No, I was thinking we could finally redo the patio and have that pool you’ve wanted put in. You’ve been talking about wanting to host more parties for our friends. You always do so well with the workers when we have something done here, and you love gardening. I think you’d really enjoy overseeing a landscaping project.”

“Let me get this straight: you would rather pay thousands of dollars to have our backyard redone, than pay a couple of hundred for me to enroll in a course?”

“I think school would be too stressful. If you’re stressed, then you definitely won’t conceive. Overseeing a project that puts you outside in the sun will be a win-win. Not to mention an old friend of mine is willing to give us a deal on the work.”

“You have a friend that’s a landscaper?”

“Yeah, this guy from my old neighborhood took over his father’s business. He said he could swing by Saturday to take a look at things.”

“It sounds like you’ve already decided that this is what we’re doing.”

“That’s because I have.” He grinned proudly. “Bev, when we got married, I promised to take care of you. This is me taking care of you. Not all husbands would do something like this for their wives. You could at least pretend to be grateful.”

“I am grateful, I’m sorry if my tone suggested otherwise. What time Saturday is he coming over?”

“That I left up to you. I didn’t know if you had any errands or plans with the ladies.”

“Oh.” Well, at least he was trying to be considerate. “Maybe around three? That would give me time to pick up the dry cleaning and stop at the market.”

“Three is perfect. I’ll give him a call tomorrow to let him know.” He looked down at his watch. “You should be good to use the bathroom now.”

“Yes, dear.” Beverly lowers her legs and slings her robe on. Once she’s in the bathroom, she locks the door and flips on the fan. She rummages around in the back of the sink-cabinet until she finds her douching solution. She used some prior to having sex with her husband, but she likes to use it after for good measure. She bites into the heel of her palm as she cleanses herself. It tends to sting from time to time. When she’s done, she looks at herself in the mirror. She knows she can’t keep doing this to herself. She just doesn’t know what else to do.

**

Beverly loves her weekend clothes. There’s something so freeing about slipping on a pair of high-waist capris, a sleeveless button-up that ties in the front, and a pair of flats. She usually gardens after running her errands, and this is what she typically wears to garden. Robert hates it when Beverly wears pants, or anything form fitting, in public. Why should anyone else be privy to how round her bum is, or how full her thighs are? She’s got a body like Marilyn’s, and that’s something he prefers to keep under wraps.

When the landscaping van pulls up out front, Beverly is in the front yard, planting and mulching. She has the radio going, so she doesn’t pay any mind to the sound of an engine turning off. The man in the landscaping van tilted his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose, getting a better glimpse of Beverly. Robert starts walking over, so the man gets out of his van, rounding it to meet his old friend.

“Harry.” Robert smiled and shook the man’s, Harry, hand. “Can you believe it? Got a nice house in a suburb just like the one we grew up in.”

“I never doubted you’d get everything you wanted.” Harry smiled back.

“Seems like the Navy treated you well.”

“Yeah, I can’t complain too much. I didn’t get blown up or lose a limb.”

“And now you own your father’s business. Sorry for your loss, by the way. That’s the drawback of inheritance.”

“Yep. You working for your father?”

“Yes, and proud of it. I’ve got an office with a view, and I can afford to live more than comfortably. Got a beautiful wife, too.” Robert looked around. “Beverly, c’mere!” Beverly stood and dusted off her trousers before making her way over to the two men. “Harry, this is my Beverly.” He put his arm around his wife’s shoulders.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Clark.”

“Likewise, Mr…”

“Styles.” He points behind him with his thumb. “Of Styles Landscaping.”

“Right, of course.”

“Your husband told me you were hoping to have some work done in the backyard.”

“Yes, we’d like the patio redone and to have a pool put in, if possible.”

“Let’s show Harry to the back.” Robert said as he led his wife to the back. Harry followed close behind.

As Beverly observes Harry observing her yard, she can’t help but feel confused. How is this man a friend of Robert’s? Harry’s t-shirt is stretched tight over his chest, not to mention how beefy and muscular his biceps are. His arms are also littered with tattoos.

It takes about twenty minutes for Harry to look around, take some measurements, and get a feel for the land.

“Alright, I can come back on Tuesday with some different mockups of what can be done back here. I can bring my portfolio too, so you can look at some of my past projects. Does Tuesday work for you, Mrs. Clark? I’m assuming you’ll be the one home.”

“Yes, the early afternoon works for me, Mr. Styles.”

“Perfect.” Robert clapped his hands. “H, come in for a bit. We can have a couple beers and catch up while Bev does her gardening out front.”

“Sounds good to me.” Harry nodded, and Robert started to make his way inside. For a split second, Harry tilted his sunglasses down to look at Beverly. “It was nice meeting, Mrs. Clark.” He winked and smirked before catching up with Robert.

Beverly felt her cheeks heat up. She turned and watched Harry walk into her home. Why did he wink at her like that? And why did it make her feel like she just got a B-12 shot?

She shook it off and made her way out front. Gardening will help her clear her head. She’s a married woman. A friend of Robert’s wouldn’t flirt with a married woman…would he?

[xdarkestdesirex]

Calamity - Hide x f.Reader

Volume Four

Calamity (n.) a great misfortune or disaster

You think you're just like every other 18-year-old girl: just starting college, living alone, and working at a cute cafe, except you aren't because you're a ghoul. Trying your best to blend into a world that isn't your own, and then you meet him. Hide. He's unlike anyone you've ever met, and you slowly fall for him. But will it ever work between the two of you? He's human, and you're not.

This writing contains highly sensitive topics like violence, gore, mental illness, talk of suicide, death, smut, and other mature themes. Reader discretion is advised.

word count 14703

prev

“If you want, you could talk to me about books…”

-Tokyo Ghoul Volume Four #033 Cajolery by Shu Ishida 

TW: TALK OF INFERTILITY

——————————

I’m not sure how I let the vibrant blonde drag me to one of his classes with Kaneki, but when Hide looks at me with those big, round, puppy dog eyes, I can’t say no. Curse his beautiful golden eyes. It was my day off, and I would’ve spoiled myself with some much-needed me time, consisting of laying in bed, sipping my favorite coffee, and binge-watching dramas. Hide hasn’t let me out of his sight since I killed Mado. He’ll take any moment to have me near him to ensure I’m okay. It’s weird; although I’ve been acting fine, Hide still knows I’m not doing well. So, the dirty blonde is doing his best to keep me distracted.

BUT I’M SO BORED! I drop my head down onto the desk in front of me and groan into my arms. Hide rests his hand on my lower back, gently running his fingers over the fabric of my shirt. I would glare at him for making me suffer like this, but Hide’s making that difficult by rubbing my back. So I stick my bottom lip out into a pout instead. 

“Aww, don’t look at me with that face, (Y/n).” Hide whispers. The blonde brings his finger up to poke my lip, but I open my mouth and lightly bite the pad of his finger. Hide draws his hand back, staring at where I bit him with astonishment. 

“Now, that’s a bad girl.” Hide’s eyebrows knit into a frown as he glances down at me.

My cheeks instantly caught fire at that comment. I’m not sure why, but the way he said it made my lower abdomen flutter. The blonde’s olive eyes widened at my response. The corner of Hide’s mouth twitched into a smirk, and his eyes narrowed with a dark look. 

The bright male’s breath tickled my ear as he leaned forward to whisper, “You liked that?” 

My whole body was on fire now, and my brain was malfunctioning. How am I supposed to respond to this? We’re in the middle of one of his classes, and Kaneki is next to him! 

“Hide.” Speaking of Kaneki, he says the blonde boy's name, “Pay attention. I don’t know why you brought (Y/n). You already have a hard time listening to the teachers.” 

Hide slumps back into his seat and crosses his arm like a little kid pouting after getting lectured by their parents. I stick my tongue out at Hide and agree with Kaneki. There was no reason for me to be here. We’re all going to suffer. Me because I’ll die of boredom, Hide because I’ll distract him, and poor Kaneki for getting dragged into this.

I rest my head back on the table and close my eyes, hoping to nap, but the combination of the professor's voice droning on and Hide’s fingers drumming next to my ear keeps my mind from fully turning off. I can hear the blonde beside me rustling around momentarily before settling in his seat. A few seconds pass, and I don’t feel any movement or hear any fidgeting from Hide, which is unusual, so I open my eyes to see a newspaper on the table before him. The page he’s looking at is about Kusaba and how a ghoul tried to attack him. Below is a photo of Mado and an obituary about the ghoul investigator. I tortured myself by reading it after it was published. He had a wife who was a ghoul investigator that died during a fight against the One-Eyed Owl. Mado also had a daughter, a daughter who was left all on her own, like me when I was younger. It seems things aren’t that different between us ghouls and humans. 

“They must hold a grudge.” Hide’s voice whispers out. The way his voice floated out made me feel like that was supposed to be an inner thought he let slip. Kaneki wasn’t paying attention to his best friend, so when Hide spoke, the black-haired boy looked to his side and quirked his head, letting out a ‘huh?’

“Don’t you follow the news?” Hide looks at his timid friend and holds the newspaper in Kaneki’s face. “The investigator killings are unusual cases, and Ogura’s been everywhere on TV talking about them.” 

A chill runs through my body as I look at where this conversation is going. I don’t want to hear Hide's words because whatever comes from his mouth will probably hurt me. I bury my face back into my arms and squeeze my elbows. My movement causes the blonde to glance at me, and a flicker of concern takes over his olive eyes.

“O-oh, yeah, it’s scary…” The dark-haired boy stutters, “But what grudge are you talking about?” Kaneki sits up in his seat and curiously stares at his friend. 

“I was just coming up with a ghoul profile.” My ears are alert as I listen closely to the conversation between the two best friends. 

“This guy, Kusaba, was attacked by a ghoul.” Hide points at the photo of Kusaba in the newspaper. “(Y/n) saved his life. When we went into the CCG building, I got the vibe from the investigators that this ghoul was trying to target a specific person. Then this guy, Mado,” Hide then points to Mado’s photo, “He was killed on the 10th, and it’s clear feeding wasn’t the reason, so it had to be for revenge or something, because of a grudge this ghoul holds.” 

My body stiffens as Hide talks about Mado and the ghoul who killed that white-haired dove. He has no idea that that man's blood is on my hands, that Mado’s blood soaked my skin as I slit his throat. 

“I think Mado was the main target they were after.” Hide picks up his bag, rummages through it, and pulls out a piece of paper. “I have a copy of the wanted poster.”

“What?” Kaneki’s voice sounds on edge. I quickly sit up in my seat and look at the flier the dirty blonde is holding onto. It’s Hinami’s wanted poster. My gut drops, and my head starts spinning. Could Hide be trying to play detective? Does he want to turn Hinami in? Thoughts of Hide possibly being a threat at some point plague my mind. If that ever happens, then my heart will be crushed. It wouldn’t matter what bond or feelings I’ve created with him. If Hide tries to hurt my family, I wouldn’t have a choice but to stop him. I couldn’t handle it if things came to that point.

Hide points to the flier and tells Kaneki to look it over. So the dark-haired male reads over the information while touching his chin as he speaks, “You think she killed him?” 

“Nah,” The blonde's voice booms confidently in his answer, and our eyes meet briefly. My heart stops, and I can feel the blood leaving my body. “I think a different ghoul did it. If the CCG suspects the daughter, it must mean she was there as her mother got captured. How else would they know about the little girl? There’s not much information or a sketch of the daughter's appearance, so it’s more likely that she quickly ran away from the scene. If she could fight the ghoul investigators herself, don’t you think she would’ve done it when her mother got captured? I think the ghoul who attacked Kusaba and killed Mado is another ghoul seeking revenge for the daughter.” 

My hand shakingly reaches out and wraps around Hide’s wrist, drawing his attention to my quivering frame. “H-Hide, can we not talk about this.” 

The blonde boy's eyes fall with concern, and he quickly wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into his side, rubbing my arms. “I’m sorry. I’ll stop.” 

Usually, being in Hide’s embrace calms me down right away, but this overwhelming feeling just won’t leave my bones. My world would fall apart if I ever had to lose Hide. If he started talking about how awful ghouls are, my fragile heart would shatter.

“Why are you theorizing about this anyway?” Kaneki questions.

“Oh, uh, I read Hisashi Ogura’s book called ‘The New Book of Ghoul Anatomy,’ and the part about ghoul investigations interested me.” Hide bit his lip softly as he squeezed me. “But we should finish this conversation another time.”

The dark-haired boy glanced at me with worry. Kaneki knows what happened and understands why I’m acting this way. As the class drags on, Hide wraps an arm around my waist and rubs small circles into my side. I’d never been more thankful when the lecture ended, and we could pack up and leave. Hide holds my hand gently, and I slowly trudge behind him as we walk outside. The original plan was to walk Kaneki to Anteiku for his shift, and I would pack an overnight bag to sleep over at Hide’s. But I honestly just wanted to be alone tonight.

I take a deep breath and say, “Hide, I think I will stay home tonight.”  

The blonde boy stops, and I almost run into his back. “What? Why?” Hide’s eyebrows draw down toward his nose as he looks at me.

I grip the bottom of my sweater and twist the fabric. “I need some alone time.” My voice barely breaks above a whisper.

Hide’s mouth opens and closes, and turmoil is evident on the blonde's face as he tries to figure out what to say. “Did I do something?” This question catches the attention of the quiet friend ahead of us, and Kaneki stops to look at Hide and me. 

“N-no!” I tighten my hold on Hide’s hand and shake my head frantically, “You didn’t do anything, I promise. I just need to be by myself tonight.” My eyes flicker over to Kaneki, pleading with him to help me. 

The blonde’s eyes follow mine. “Right, Kaneki knows what happened.” Hide looked toward the ground and scratched the back of his neck. Hide’s usual vibrant demeanor faded into one of monochrome. He’s hurt. Fuck. What am I supposed to do? I would love to tell him everything, but he can’t know. 

“Hide,” Kaneki interrupts the tension, “I just happened to be there. What happened was awful, so you must understand why (Y/n) can’t talk about it.” 

“I-” My voice cracks as I go to speak, and I mentally curse myself. I’ve been bottling things up, which isn’t doing me any good. Fresh tears start trickling down my cheeks, and I try to suck them up, but it’s no use. “I’m sorry, Hide. I wish I could tell you, but I-I just can’t.” I rip my hand away from the blondes and run toward Anteiku. Hide’s voice fades into the atmosphere as he calls out to me.

*

It’s been a few hours since I made it into Anteiku, and I’ve been crying in my bed the whole time. Kaneki came to my room at some point, telling me he talked with Hide about how I needed time. I appreciated the dark-haired male doing that for me. The whole thing between Hide and me threw me off. I wasn’t expecting any of that to happen. Hide’s always so understanding that I thought he wouldn’t mind me staying home tonight. Maybe my not opening up isn’t just taking a toll on me but on Hide as well? Ugh! Why is this world so cruel? I roll over in my bed, squeezing my pillow to my face, and scream into it.

My phone dings on my bedside table, and the light from my screen illuminates my pitch-black room. I roll onto my side, grab my phone, and look at the message on the device. A text from Hide says he won’t be able to sleep unless we talk about what happened. A weight lifted off my chest after reading the blonde's message, one I didn’t realize was there, but I also wouldn’t be able to sleep without talking through this.

I throw on a thick pair of sweatpants, grab one of Hide’s hoodies that I stole from him, slip it over my head, and then put on a full-body puffer coat. I slip my feet into boots and text Hide, letting him know I was heading to the park. It took me maybe fifteen minutes to walk to my destination, and seeing Hide already here didn’t surprise me. The dirty blonde was sitting on one of the swings and kicking at the ground below him. He’s probably been here for a while. Hide usually gets anxious and can’t stay in one place when his thoughts run rampant. It’s something I’ve noticed since we’ve started dating. Any time Hide’s brain is in overdrive, he’ll start pacing around. It’s kind of cute, but I feel bad when he’s unable to relax.

I approach the swings and sit on the one next to Hide. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been on a swing.” I keep my toes planted on the ground and push myself back and forth.

Hide scratches his cheek and then runs his hand through his hair, “I’m sorry that I was being insensitive earlier. I wasn’t thinking about how my constant need to make sure you were okay would be suffocating. You deserve to process things independently, and I’ll respect that in the future.”

Oh, wow. I wasn’t expecting all that, but I shouldn’t have expected anything less with Hide. “It’s okay, Hide. I know you’ve been worried about me, and I appreciate you taking care of me.” A deep sigh leaves my lips, “But I can’t tell you what happened, and for that, I’m really sorry.” A tear rolls down my cheek. “I wish I could open up to you, but–” I stop myself from saying anymore because if I keep going, I might say something I regret, like ‘I’m a ghoul.’

Hide gets off his swing and moves in front of me. The blonde kneels between my legs and rests his hands on my thighs. His olive orbs look up into my (e/c) ones, and it’s at this moment that time seems to stop. Just Hide and me, here in the park, looking at one another, and my heart flutters like crazy. I wonder if he’s feeling this, too? The feeling overwhelms my body with nerves, but in a way that I don’t ever want it to stop. Is this what it feels like to fall in love? 

“Hey,” Hide's soft finger brushes against my cheek, and I lean into his touch. “I understand that opening up about things can be difficult, but I’ll always be here for you whether you can tell me what's wrong or not.” 

“I don’t deserve you,” I whisper.

“Don’t say that.” Hide’s voice is stern, “You’re the only person who deserves me.” The vibrant male tangles his hand in my hair and pulls me forward to smash our lips together. He kisses me passionately, almost like trying to prove a point. I gasp into the kiss from the intensity, and Hide uses that as an opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth. My arms wrap around his broad shoulders, pulling him closer to me as my tongue swirls around his. Hide’s hands find my hips, and he grabs me hard enough to leave behind a bruise. It’s not till a soft moan leaves my lips that Hide slows down the kiss and pulls away, resting his forehead on mine as we catch our breaths.

“Still want to be alone tonight?” Hide chuckles.

I playfully rolled my eyes and hit the blonde on the shoulder, “Yes,” I giggle softly, my cheeks painted a deep hue of red.

“Just had to make sure.” The corner of Hide’s lips pulled up into a large, goofy smile. My vibrant boy was back to his beaming self. The sight of Hide before me, bathed in the moonlight, made everything feel like a dream. 

Hideyoshi Nagachika, you’ll be the death of me.

——————————

I was hanging out in the underground tunnels, doing some stretches, and preparing myself for more training with Renji. The silver-haired male had things he needed to do and told me he’d meet me for training. The weekend passed, and I was ready to release some steam. I was kneeling on the ground with my torso bent over my legs, arms stretched out in front of me, and my chest resting on the ground. Child’s pose, one of my favorites, always relaxes my body and helps me clear my head and think properly. As my mind falls into a blissful state, a pair of voices bouncing off the walls causes me to jump. I sit up from child's pose, look toward the entrance, and see two very familiar people walking my way. I stretch my arm up and wave excitedly at the couple. 

“Touka! Kaneki!” I greet the two as they approach me.

“Hi (Y/n),” the dark-haired male smiles at me. “You seem to be in a good mood. Did Hide and you make up?” Touka elbows Kaneki in the side, and he grunts out, rubbing his flank as he looks back at the plum-haired girl with a questioning gaze. 

“Oh, uh, we talked through everything.” My cheeks flush as I think about our passionate kiss on the swing set. That weird flutter of emotion erupts through my chest again.

“Just talking?” The plum-haired girl smirks at me. 

“Yes!” I say a little too quickly and jump up from the ground, “So, are you guys here to train?” 

“Yeah! I’m trying to get stronger!” Kaneki flexes his arm, showing off his small muscle. I admire the black-haired male’s enthusiasm, and I was about to praise him when Touka started laughing.

The plum-haired girl clenched her stomach and pointed at Kaneki, “There’s nothing there!” 

Kaneki’s face flushed, and he started sputtering out words in defense. I watched the pair with a smile. I’m happy Touka has another person to smile around. They’re an odd pairing, but I believe they’re good for each other. Touka needs someone like Kaneki, and Kankei needs someone like Touka. I hope they’ll confess to one another one day, but I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

I watch the pair as they work on some fighting techniques. Kaneki’s body moves awkwardly, and Touka’s hits are nowhere near her full strength. Watching how they practice together differs from how Renji and I practice together. He beats the living shit out of me. It would be nice if he went soft on me, but I wouldn’t grow if he did.

“What kind of game are you guys playing?” A deep voice pulls everyone’s attention. 

“We’re training,” Touka answers back.

The tall, silver-haired male looks over the pair and frowns. “You call this training?” Renji sets his briefcase down and slides off his coat. The older male pops his knuckles and stretches his arms as he walks towards Touka and Kaneki. “Try to hit me, both of you.”

Kankei turns back to look at me, his face questioning if he should, and I nod at the dark-haired male. I sit back on the ground with a smug smile as I know what will happen—Touka and Kaneki charge at Renji, throwing everything they have, but Renji dodges everything. The plum-haired girl goes to kick Renji in the face, but the silver-haired male ducks, and Toukas foot collides with Kaneki’s face instead. After about 30 minutes, Kaneki and Touka lie on the floor, out of breath.

“(Y/n), get up, it’s your turn.” Renji doesn’t give me a chance before he’s lunging at me. I quickly slide backward on the ground, dodging the large male and jumping to my feet.

“Oh, it’s on, old man,” I smirk at my father. 

“You two,” Renji calls out to Touka and Kaneki, “Watch how we fight.”

For the next 2 hours, Renji and I fight against one another. I’ve gotten faster, so he doesn’t land as many hits on me, and I’ve finally been able to land hits; they just lack power. My blows don’t deal nearly as much damage as Renji’s, but I’m improving and proud.

“Wow, (Y/n)! You were able to hit him!” Kaneki yells out in excitement as I chug my water.

“Kaneki, you’re decent at evasive maneuvers but suck at everything else,” Renji says flatly. The dark-haired male’s face falls into disappointment.

“And Touka, if you want to train him, you must teach him the basics first.” The silver-haired male picks up his coat and briefcase.

“(Y/n), you’re getting better but still lacking strength. It’s time you start working to improve your muscles as well. Start eating double portions, and I’ll send you a workout plan.” 

“Yes, Dad!” I playfully salute Renji as he walks away—a faint smile appearing on his face as he does. 

——————————

I’m sitting at one of my favorite cafes as I stare out the window. The sun is shining, and people are taking advantage of this day. The air is still nippy since it’s wintertime, but that doesn’t stop people from absorbing some vitamin D. Normally, I’d work a shift at Anteiku today, but Mr. Yoshimura closed it for the day for some business. So, like everyone else, I’m taking advantage of this lovely day!

A plastic cup of iced coffee gets set in front of me, and Renji slides into the seat opposite me. I grab the cup between my hands and take a big gulp—a sigh leaving my lips as I place the cup back down. Renji doesn’t usually have much free time, so when the shop closed and I saw him lazing around, I forced him to go on a father-daughter date. I wanted to spend time with the silver-haired man that didn’t involve us fighting one another, and surprisingly, Renji didn’t complain about being forced to go out.

“You still remember my favorite,” I beam brightly at my father.

“Of course I do. How could I forget when you would demand that I make it for you?” An annoyed look envelopes Renji’s face as he reminisces about those times, but only I can see the genuine fondness behind his emotionless eyes. 

“You can’t fool me, old man. I know you loved making me coffee before I went to school.” I slouch into the wooden chair and gaze outside. My fingertips danced gently against my coffee cup as my mind wandered back to those times.

“Your coffee was always the best, even better than Mr Yoshimura’s." Glancing back at Renji, I say, “It’s a shame you don’t brew coffee at the cafe anymore. We’d probably have more customers flooding in, and who knows, maybe you’d meet my future mother!” 

The silver-haired male chokes on his coffee, and I giggle at his reaction. Renji wipes his mouth with a napkin and clears his throat, “There will be no mother.” Renji’s voice is firm, but a tinge of pinkness dusts his cheeks. 

“Aww, you’re no fun.” I pout softly.

Renji has never been the kind of man who dates; he just hooks up with people. When I was younger, he always did his best to be sneaky when bringing a woman home, but I always knew and secretly hoped one day he’d bring home a nice girl and introduce her as his girlfriend. But nope, never. He refuses to have that kind of connection with someone, and now that I’m older, I honestly don’t blame him. It’s hard loving someone so deeply when, at any second, they could disappear from you forever. But still, I would like for him to find happiness.

We spent a few hours at the cafe, talking and laughing about memories from when we both were younger. I was a child, and Renji was barely an adult when he took me in. To say things were rough at first is an understatement, but they only got better, and Renji always did his best when caring for me. It still baffles me how someone can go from ghoul fights in the street to taking in a little girl and becoming her father. 

“We better get going,” Renji says as he gets up from his chair, “Itori will kick my ass if we’re late.” 

We leave the cafe and head toward Itori’s bar, where she and Uta await us. It’s been a while since I’ve seen the two of them. For as long as I’ve known Renji, I’ve known Itori, but it took time for Renji to feel comfortable introducing me to Uta. But over time, they became family to me as well. They’re like my aunt and uncle! 

On our way to the bar, we pass Anteiku and see Kaneki standing in front of the building, looking confused. 

“Uh, hey,” the dark-haired male says sheepishly. “I guess I came by at the wrong time. I didn’t realize Anteiku was closed today.” 

“We were supposed to be open, but Mr Yoshimura closed it up for the day.” I smile at Kankei.

“Since you’re here, can I show you my kick?! I’ve been working on it!” Kankei gears up to show Renji his kick, and I have to cover my face to keep myself from giggling.

Renji stares blankly at the dark-haired male, “Sorry, we’re busy.” 

As the silver-haired male walks away, I grab his arm and hold him in place. “Don’t be rude.” 

Renji sighed and shook out of my hold, “Actually, would you like to come with us?” 

I look at my father in shock. This is so out of character for Renji; I wasn’t expecting this. But it seems I wasn’t the only one who was shocked. Kankei stood before us with his mouth hanging open, his eyes looking at me, questioning if he was serious, and I just shrugged my shoulders. 

“My friend has been wanting to meet you,” Renji stated. 

“Friend? Do you mean Itori? Why does she want to meet Kaneki?” Itori could be the only guess since Kankei has met Uta before when getting his mask made. I wonder about her reasoning for meeting the dark-haired boy; hopefully, it’s just Itori’s curious mind and not for business. 

“I don’t know,” Renji said as he walked past us, “Come on, we’re late.”

I hurried after my father and waved my hand at Kaneki to follow. “It’ll be fine. If you’re uncomfortable, I’ll leave with you.” 

It didn’t take long for us to get to Itoris bar. Renji refused to answer any questions and stayed silent the rest of the walk, and I told Kaneki everything he needed to know about the fiery redhead and Uta. As we enter the bar, someone pops out from behind the door wearing a mask and yells, ‘Boo!’ causing Kaneki to scream and fall backward on his ass. 

“Hehehe,” Itori kneels to look at the poor dark-haired male, “This mask is great, Uta.” The older female quirks her head to the side, mask still on, and pokes Kaneki. “Who is this?” 

“Itori, enough.” Renji’s voice was deep and stern. 

The redhead removes the mask and sticks her tongue out at Renji. Itori is playful and sometimes crazy, but she’s one of the most levelheaded adults I know. She’s also fucking gorgeous. 

“Oh, Kaneki,” Uta’s monotone voice speaks out, “How’s your mask? Have you used it yet?”

Kaneki, still lying on the ground, nods and softly replies to the tatted male, saying the mask is good. Itori excitedly jumps up from the ground and smiles mischievously at Kaneki. “Kaneki?! So you’re Anteiku’s eye patch!” Then the Itori turns and points at me, “And don’t think I’ve forgotten about you!” 

Itori squeals and runs toward me, swooping me up in her arms and squeezing me in a death hug. This firey woman may seem slim and weak, but if I were human, she could crush my ribs with this hug. 

“(Y/n)! Look at you!” The redhead swings me around, “You’re so pretty! If you keep this up, you’ll be prettier than me!” 

“That’s impossible, Tori. No one could be prettier than you.” My cheeks flush at her compliment as she lets me go. 

We all sit at the bar while Itori pours us glasses of wine, which isn’t wine; it’s just blood. I swirl the deep red liquid in my cup and inhale the scent. A chill runs down my spine, and my stomach feels queasy. It’s been a while since I’ve sat and enjoyed a glass of blood. I’ve been hard on myself for being born a ghoul, to the point that I starved and went crazy. It’s hard to accept yourself when the world sees you as a monster, but I’m slowly overcoming my guilt to eat. I take a deep breath and sip on the thick liquid. The sweetness of the blood coats my throat as it travels down. For a second, I almost gag, but I stop myself. This is just who I am. I have to accept it. I glance at Renji, and he shakes his head, letting me know I don’t have to drink it. I swirl the liquid around again, the blood staining the glass, and I tell myself to relax. As Itori said to Kaneki, “Relax, it’s my bar. You can loosen up here.” 

My gaze shifts to the dark-haired male, and you can tell he’s still uncomfortable. Itori shoves a glass of blood in his face, and Kaneki shakes his head, holding his hands up, professing he’s underage and can’t drink, but once he inhales the iron scent, his kakugan overtakes his left eye. The mood in the bar shifts as the fiery redhead tells the tale of the one-eyed owl—the cross between human and ghoul, a rare and almost impossible breed.

My mind drifts off to Hide as Itori goes on. If I were to become pregnant in the future, then my body would most likely eat our baby, no fetus; it wouldn’t even have the chance to grow into a baby. And if that were to happen, I would hate myself even more. This world is terrible, and I don’t even know if I’d want to bring a child into it. I’ve never thought about it before, but if I were to get pregnant, I think my need to protect and love would be stronger than ever. I couldn’t forgive myself if I were the reason I couldn’t bear a child. 

“Which parent do you think was the ghoul for the one-eyed owl?” I quietly ask. If it was the father, then the poor mother probably had to eat human meat for the baby's nutrients, but if the ghoul was the mother, then I wonder how she did it. If she could do it, maybe there’s hope for the future that Hide and I could have a baby. I know these are crazy thoughts. We just started dating, and there’s no way we’ll have a baby now or soon. I just can’t help but think of the future. Hide also seems like the type to want a lot of babies.

“I thought you weren’t pregnant.” A dark, looming figure hovers behind me. 

I jump in my seat and turn around to hit Renji in the shoulder, “I’m not!” My face turns bright red, and I cover myself with my hands. “Why is that the first thing your mind comes to?” 

Kaneki choked beside me, and Itori’s cat-like eyes narrowed at me as a chuckle escaped her lips, “Is there something I need to know?” The fiery woman leans closer to me, lips perked out with a stupid grin I’d like to wipe off her face.

“I-I’m dating a guy, and he’s human,” I stutter over my words, “I was just curious about the one-eyed ghoul. My question has nothing to do with Hide and me.” I glare back at Renji. He’s leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and huffs at me as our eyes meet. 

“Hmm, Hide?” Itori smiles, “Well if you ask me, it must be the mother. A strong female ghoul has what it takes not to digest her fetus.” The redhead winks at me. 

A soft smile grows on my face. I know Itori is just saying that for me, but it is heartwarming that she’d say that. 

“So, what do most of the ghouls talk about here?” Kaneki makes a subject change, and I silently thank him.

The fiery woman wraps her arms around Kaneki and squeezes his face into her chest, “They talk about you, silly!” Itori releases the dark-haired boy. “A one-eyed ghoul just drops out of the sky! So, of course, you’re the hot topic! Along with the mysterious death of Rize Kamishiro!” 

“Wait, what? Mysterious death? I thought it was an accident.” Kaneki’s face paled as he looked at Itori. 

Renji clears his throat and glares at the redhead, warning her to keep quiet, but he should’ve known that wouldn’t stop Itori. She goes on to explain that Rize’s death wasn’t an accident. That someone purposefully killed her, but that’s all she said. Itori wouldn’t give Kaneki more information without getting something from him, and what she asked of him sent my jaw to the floor. The gourmet? Fuck, when did Kaneki meet Tsukiyama? This can’t be good. Anything that involves Tsukiyama just screams danger. Ugh, I can’t stand that blueberry-haired freak. 

As the night gets darker, Kaneki and I head out together. The air has gotten colder, and the sun is setting in the distance. Most of the walk was quiet, and I could tell Kaneki was deep in his thoughts. I felt terrible that we all lied to him, telling him the incident with Rize was an accident. His mind is probably running rampant with theories. 

“Kaneki, you don’t have to investigate the ghoul restaurant. The things that Tsukiyama are involved in are dangerous.” I can’t just let him do this. Kaneki could get hurt if he delves too far into things.

“Thank you, (Y/n),” Kaneki smiles at me, “But this is something I need to do.” 

I exhaled a deep sigh. " Are you sure? We'll figure out another way to get information.” 

“I’m sure.” The determination in Kaneki’s eyes was enough for me to nod.

“Okay, promise me you’ll be careful, and if you need help, call me.” 

“I prom-”

“A-AAHHH!” A loud yell echoes through a nearby alleyway. Kaneki and I dart over to see what's happening. Three men are kicking at another man lying on the ground. Grunts and yells of pain come from their victim. I clench my fist and prepare myself to help the person getting kicked to a pulp.

“Huh? It’s Nishio.” Kaneki said in a low voice. 

I squint my eyes and focus more on the guy lying on the ground. Kaneki’s right, it’s Nishiki. I clenched my fist harder and took a deep breath. Stupid Nishiki, getting in trouble to where I have to save him. Ugh, and right after he just kicked our asses, too, he’s gonna owe me after this.

“Kane—” I look over to see Kaneki walking away. 

“Hey! Wait!” I catch up with the black-haired male and pull him back by the shoulder. “What do you think you’re doing? We don’t walk away from someone who’s getting hurt.” My voice comes out stern.

“But-”

“No buts. I know you don’t like Nishiki. I don’t like him either, but he’s not that bad.” Did those words just come out of my mouth? I never thought I’d be saying this about Nishiki, but like most ghouls, he’s an asshole cause he’s trying to survive. “So we’re gonna go in there and help him.” 

Kaneki stares back at me and then nods his head. We marched into the alleyway, and I wasted no time going up to one of the males and kicked him right in the face, knocking him out cold. 

“Oh shit!” A smile forms on my face, “I’m a badass!” 

That or these guys are just weak, I think to myself, but I’m just gonna tell myself I’m a badass.

“(Y/n), Kaneki?” Nishiki groans out.

“You friends with these losers?” The two remaining ghouls face us, “Which ward do you guys come from?” 

I prepare my stance while keeping my focus on the ghouls. This is not a time for chit-chat; they don’t need to know which ward we’re from.

“Um, the 20th,” Kaneki replies.

I whip my head around, and Kaneki quickly covers his mouth. The two ghouls start laughing and then lunge toward us. Great, they probably think we’re sissy ghouls that don’t fight for ourselves, but we’ll show them. The ghoul who comes after me isn’t much bigger than I am and is less scarier than Renji. His fists are slow and don’t carry much weight behind them. I can land more hits on this guy, and they seem to affect him. He’s slowing down, which means I’m wearing him out. Good. We’ll be able to finish this quickly. I spare a moment to look back and check on Kaneki, and he seems to be doing good at dodging the other guy's moves. 

Suddenly, a stinging sensation rings through my ears and my face throbs. Did he just punch me in the face? “Hey! What the hell! My face?” Great, how do I explain a black eye to Hide? I wipe my nose, and a streak of blood smears on the back of my hand. 

“A-ah!” The other ghoul fighting Kaneki screams out. “H-hey! We should get out of here!” The ghoul yells.

“What? Why?” The ghoul in front of me stops what he’s doing.

“I think this guy is the 20th ward’s eye patch that killed those investigators! Let’s get out of here!” The two ghouls then ran away.

Kaneki and I approach Nishiki, lifting the badly injured male off the ground, and he groans as we move him. My eyes drift over the brunette’s form, and my face falls. He’s seriously in bad shape. I’m not sure how he’ll heal from this without getting proper food in his system for the next few days, and there’s no way Nishiki will be able to hunt.

“Kaneki, let’s get him home.” 

With each of us on one side of Nishiki, we hold him up and carry him back to his place. While carrying the brunette, he kept repeating how he was gonna kill us once he got better. I think his pride is hurt because ‘weaklings’ saved him. We made it to Nishiki’s home, took him inside, and laid him on the bed. I made a mental note to grab a couple of packs of meat from Anteiku and bring it back. Nishiki would need it to make it back outside with enough strength to hunt and fight off other ghouls.

As we were about to head out, a frightened girl jumped out at us, holding a taser. Her brown eyes were wide, her body was shaking, she looked familiar, but I couldn’t remember who she was. 

“A-are you the narcissist?” The brunette girl frantically asked. 

Kaneki and I looked at one another in confusion. I held up my arms to show I was harmless, and the dark-haired male followed suit. The female in front of us tried to speak more, but all that came out of her mouth was stuttering as she swung the taser around more.

“Kimi, stop.” Nishiki croaked out.

Kimi? Oh, wait, this is Nishiki’s girlfriend. That’s why I recognized her. We walked in on them, and then she showed up to drop off the CD Hide needed. The brunette girl ran into the apartment and kneeled next to Nishiki. Kimi wrapped her arms around the beaten male and cried out.

“Nishiki! Where were you?!” Her big brown eyes scan over Nishiki’s battered body, and she covers her mouth. “You’re hurt! What happened? Did your stomach wound open up again?” Kimi’s hands frantically search Nishiki’s body.

Nishiki grabbed Kimi’s hand to stop her and shook his head. Watching this scene unfold before me made my heart ache. Kimi is a human, and Nishiki is a ghoul. Kimi, a human, knows Nishiki is a ghoul and is still worrying about him. She still loves him? If someone loves you enough, they wouldn’t care what you are, but would it be the same for me? Would Hide still care for me if he found out?

Once we settled things, the three of us walked outside. An air of uncertainty fell over us, but Kimi was the first to break the silence. 

“So, you both are ghouls?” 

Kaneki and I jumped and quickly tried to deny it, but it was useless; Nishiki told Kimi everything. I hung my head low in shame that someone, a human, knew what I was.

“Don’t worry,” Kimi said softly. 

“I won’t say anything as long as you don’t say anything about Nishiki. I don’t want anything more to happen to him.” Kimi’s brown eyes pleaded with us.

“Um, can I ask you something?” I grip my elbows and gaze softly at Kimi as she nods, “Nishiki being a ghoul doesn’t bother you?”

“Yeah, it doesn’t scare you?” Kaneki butts in.

“Well, I was surprised at first, but Nishiki was there when I needed someone. I love him and want to be with him whether he’s a ghoul or not.” The sincere look in Kimi’s eyes made my eyes tear up. She means what she says, and it makes me happy that Nishiki gets to have someone like her. I only hope to have this same experience. 

“Y-you don’t care that he eats humans?” This was the question that I feared the most. Just cause she loves him and still wants to be with him doesn’t mean she’s okay with Nishiki eating humans.

“No, he needs the bodies.” The way Kimi answered so quickly shocked me. She doesn’t care?

“As long as he doesn’t hurt the ones I love, I’ll just look the other way.” Kimi looks up at the night sky and gazes at the stars twinkling above. “And if necessary, I’ll give myself to Nishiki.” 

Kimi turns to look at me, “If I were born a ghoul, I would kill humans, but I just happened to be born a human. That’s the only reason I get to live what society calls a moral life. Nishiki didn’t choose to be born as a ghoul. He’s just doing what he has to do to survive.” The brunette female smiles at me. “And (Y/n), I’m sure Nagachika will feel the same.” 

My lower lip juts out, and tears stain my eyes. I grip my chest and glance over to see Kaneki also crying. We feel the same. Hide is important to both of us, and we just want to be accepted. 

Kaneki and I go our separate ways, and I head back to Anteiku. I make it up to my room and strip off my clothes. Today was a mix of many emotions, but it was a weirdly good day. So many new thoughts are going through my head, yet my lips turn into a soft smile. There’s a chance Hide could accept me for who I am. I’m not ready for him to find out, but now I have hope for the future, thanks to Kimi. If Nishiki can be accepted and loved by a human, I could be too, right? 

——————————

I woke up this morning determined to have a good day. I was going to put real effort into my studies and art, and then when classes were over, Hide and I would hang out. It’s been a few days since we last saw each other, and he’s respected the space I needed. We still texted all day since being apart and even talked on the phone before bed. Just because I needed space didn’t mean I didn’t want to talk to him. 

It was another lovely day outside where the sun shone brightly; luckily, today wasn’t as cold as it had been, which was great because I felt like dressing up. I was wearing a black cashmere sweater with a slightly low v-neck tucked into a black pleated skirt, and then I was wearing platform loafers with leg warmers. I also have an oversized blazer to wear if I get cold. I threw my hair into a slick ponytail and put more effort into my makeup. I also had to cover the slight bruising around my eye, but thankfully, most of it faded right away. I got over-excited to see Hide today and wanted to look extra cute. Dressing up also helps put me in a good mood, and maybe my last encounter with Hide (that kiss) has made me want to stand out even more to him.

I’m standing outside Hide’s class with a red face as I think about our kiss, waiting for him to come out, but my face falls into one of concern as person after person exists, and none of them are Hide. Maybe he’s asking the professor questions? And just as I think that the professor walks past me. Huh? Is he not here? He told me this was his last class for the day. I reached into my bag and pulled out my phone to check mine and Hide’s messages. This was where he said we’d meet. Did something happen? 

“Wait, what?!” A voice yelled from inside, and there was no mistaking who it was, so I quickly ran into the classroom. 

Hide is sitting at his desk with perplexed features painting his face as he looks around the classroom. Two people stand before the blonde's desk. A tall, skinny male with chestnut brown hair, a red headband holding his locks from falling in his face, and glasses that sit atop his nose. Then, a short, shy-looking girl with long, pitch-black hair and bangs that hit right above her eyebrows. She was gripping the sleeves of her sweater, but she had a determined look. Who are these people, and why do they look like they’re interrogating Hide? 

I slowly approached Hide’s desk as the shy girl held out her notebook toward Hide, “This is a list of people we suspect to be ghouls at school.” 

After hearing the girl's words, I tripped over my foot and yelped. I quickly caught myself by grabbing Hide’s desk. Hide jumped up from his seat and gripped my shoulders in surprise as he stared down at me. 

"(Y/n)! Are you okay?” The vibrant male looked me over with concern, but his cheeks flushed as he saw my outfit. Not to mention, I was leaning forward, so more cleavage was visible than normal. Hide quickly averted his eyes, and I straightened my form, embarrassedly glancing away. I dressed this way purposefully, but I guess I’m still too shy for that kind of attention. 

“U-um, yeah, I’m okay. I just came to check on you and tripped over my feet.” My voice gets quiet as I say the last part. 

The two random students stare at me, and the male clears his throat. “Anyways, back to our topic.” He looks Hide dead on. “We have reason to believe your friend Kaneki is a ghoul because other students say they haven’t seen him eating around campus.” The chestnut-haired male leans over the desk. “I’m not sure if you know this, Mr. Nagachika, but ghouls aren’t able to eat human food.”

“I’ve read about it in Ogura’s book How to Spot a Ghoul, but I can assure you that Kaneki isn’t a ghoul. We’ve been friends since grade school.” Hide’s ears were red, and I could tell he was irritated. 

“Oh, perfect, you’re interested in ghouls as well.” The tall male slings his arm around Hide, but the blonde pushes his arm off him. “Well, tell me, have you seen Mr. Kaneki have a meal lately?” 

Hide looks at the chestnut-haired male with a confused expression. “We’re investigating people on campus who we’ve noted not to be seen with food within the past month," he says, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“That’s not a creditable reason to accuse people of being ghouls. Who are you guys anyways?” I speak up. This male is getting on my nerves. Who does he think he is to say that someone is a ghoul? Yeah, Kaneki is a ghoul; it’s none of their business. They could accuse a human and ruin their life because of it. Not to mention, if they find out one of us is a ghoul, our lives would be over. The CCG would hunt us down and kill us.

The tall male steps closer and looks me up and down with a judgmental stare. “I’m Kiyama, the president of the Occult Research Club, or ORC for short. This is Sankou,” Kiyama points to the shy girl. “She is a new member of the ORC.” 

“And that gives you the right to say whether someone is a ghoul?” I stare down Kiyama, or more like stare up. Damn, this boy is tall. 

“Sankou,” Kiyama says. The small girl holds her notebook toward me and points at the page. My eyes travel to the name by her finger, and my blood runs cold.

“(L/n) (Y/n), you’re also a suspect on our list, so for all I know, you’re just trying to help a fellow ghoul not be found out.” Kiyama quirks his eyebrow as he sees my reaction. 

Hide pulls me into his side and glares at Kiyama, “Saying my best friend’s a ghoul isn’t cool, but trying to say my girlfriend is one is not okay.”

“Well, have you seen (L/n) or Kaneki eat a meal in the past month?” Sankou quietly speaks up, her pencil ready to write down whatever Hide says.

“(Y/n) and I have gone out to eat this month, and Kaneki and I have gone out for coffee.” The dirty blonde male glares at the two students as he speaks honestly. 

Hide and I ate once with the ghoul investigators at the beginning of the month. I wouldn’t consider that viable information to say I wasn’t a ghoul, but it worked for the ORC students, as Sankou crossed my name off the list. 

“Unfortunately, that doesn’t clear Kaneki from our investigation.” The pair bows, “Thank you for your cooperation.” Then they turn around to head out of the room, but Hide quickly stops them.

“Wait! Let me help with your investigation.” 

Kiyama turns around, nods, and allows Hide to join their operation. The chestnut male even extended the offer for me to join and said he’d text the next steps in the operation. This whole situation has me flabbergasted. If these occult theorists were able to narrow down possible ghoul suspects to Kanek and me, then maybe I need to start being more careful and weary. Should I start bringing snacks to school and eating them every once in a while? 

Seeing how upset Hide was at them for saying I was a ghoul made my sliver of hope disappear. He didn’t like the idea of me being a ghoul, so I doubt he’d understand like Kimi. I guess happy endings aren’t a part of my book. That’s okay. I’ll just enjoy my time with Hide for now, but our relationship will have to end at some point. I’m happy to experience a small portion of my life falling in love with this vibrant boy.

Hide cups my face in his hands and looks into my (e/c) orbs with his olive ones. “Are you okay? They didn’t scare you, did they?” 

I gently place my hands over Hides, “I’m okay. Thank you for defending me.” 

How Hide protected me and cleared my name warmed my heart as much as it broke it. I now know he couldn’t stand the thought of me being a ghoul, but he does care about me enough to protect me. I’ll give us until the end of summer, and then I’ll leave. Winter just started, providing us enough time to create good memories, but not too long to where we get too attached. Even though I’m afraid I’m already too attached, and this will be harder than I’d like it to be. This is just how things have to be. We can part ways while Hide still thinks of me as a human so that his memories of me don’t grow rotten. 

The dirty blonde male intertwines his fingers with mine, and we leave the classroom. Hordes of students fill the campus as everyone links up for the evening, whether for projects, hangouts, or partying. Hide and I are heading out on a date to a manga store. I wanted to pick up the manga for a new anime I had just started watching, and Hide came up with the idea of turning it into a manga date. There’s no way I could say no to that. So, hand in hand, Hide and I walk to a bus stop near the campus and wait for the bus to take us to the other side of Tokyo, where Hide swears there’s a fantastic manga store.

We make it to the manga store, and the way it looks outside isn’t promising. The shop's paint is peeling in large chunks. A few boards are missing from the side and are covered with cardboard. Then, the windows are barred, and the neon sign above the shop flickers. If I weren’t a ghoul, thoughts of Hide possibly being one and bringing me here to eat would have crossed my mind. The manga shop gives “Working Nights At…” horror video game vibes. Hide notices the look on my face and swears the inside is much better than the outside. And he wasn’t wrong.

When we walked inside, the shop was pristine. Bright lights lit each bookshelf lined with manga. Figurines were displayed along the back wall, and fan-made art was hung on the walls. I ran up to each shelf and scanned the manga titles, pointing out the ones I’d read and those I was interested in to Hide. The vibrant male followed behind me, smiling and laughing at my childish behavior. We spent the next few hours picking up mangas that looked interesting or ones that seemed weird and flipped through them. I grabbed a few figurines of some of my favorite characters from MHA and my new favorite, Tokyo Revengers. Speaking of TR, I finally started my manga collection! I got the first six volumes, and I can’t wait to return to my room and display them on my shelf. 

When we reach Anteiku, the sky is a deep blue, and stars twinkle. The streetlights make it hard to see the stars, but their glow creates a slight hue across the vast sky. We stop in front of the steps, like we’ve done multiple times, and Hide hands me my bag of goodies. He’s always a gentleman, carrying my things even when I tell him I’m capable, but the blonde male won’t take no for an answer. A ding sounds from my bag and a buzz from Hide’s pocket. We looked at each other questioningly and pulled out our phones to see a group chat with two unknown numbers. 

Unknown: We will follow the CCG investigators tomorrow and track their routes.

Unknown: 6:00 am sharp.

“Six in the morning?” I say in disbelief. This has to be Kiyama. Why does he want us to meet up so early? My shoulders sag, and I groan. “Oh, wait, I have classes tomorrow.” 

Hide’s still looking down at his phone. He looks up, and we lock eyes, a soft smirk forming as he says, “Let’s skip.” 

“Skip?!” I almost drop my phone at Hide’s words, “I’ve never skipped before.” I shake my head.

“Just this once,” The dirty blonde’s face went from teasing to pleading. Hide’s bottom lip is stuck out so far, and his big round doe eyes sparkle brighter than the stars above us. 

“Ughhhh,” I instantly give in, and Hide squeezes me into his chest. “I hate that I can’t say no to you.” My voice comes out muffled as I speak.

“You totally love me,” Hide says with pride and leans down to kiss my head. 

I grip the blonde’s shirt, huff, and bury my face even deeper into his chest. My cheeks are burning up, and my heart is racing. Can he tell that I’m falling for him? Or is Hide being his playful self? Our phones buzz again, and it takes me a moment to pull away and see what else was texted in the group chat.

Unknown: BTW this is Kiyama.

Hide and I chuckle together at the message.

“Since we have to meet up so early in the morning, would you want to stay the night at my place?” Hide asks.

I gaze back at Anteiku, debating my choices. I’m already home, so it makes sense to stay, but I can pack an overnight bag since we’re already here. I grin up at the vibrant boy and push up on my toes to place a gentle kiss on Hide’s lips. 

“I’d like that.” 

I walk Hide up to my room for the first time, and it just dawns on me that he hasn’t seen my room yet. It’s not super girly, but it is very nerdy. I’m sure he won’t judge me, right? I open the door to my room, and the vibrant male walks inside. Hide’s olive eyes roam around my room, and I fidget beside him, waiting for him to say something.

“Your room is… Awesome! Look at all your manga and posters!” Hide runs beside my bookshelf and gawks over each manga that’s on display. Then he glances over at my other bookshelf, which is full of my books, and pauses to point at a series.

“What’s this?” Hide says with a smirk.

Heat instantly blooms across my face, and I run across my room to pull Hide away from the books. “I-it’s nothing!”

“Really? Cause it looks like it’s A Court of Thorns and Roses.” Hide stares at me with a teasing look.

I drag the blonde to my bed and make him sit. “J-just stay there, " I say. And he does.

Hide leans back on his arms and watches me with a stupid grin as I put together my overnight bag. I threw in leggings, a band tee, and a zip-up hoodie for tomorrow. If we’re going to follow around ghoul investigators, there’s no reason for me to dress up. I went to put a pair of sweats into my bag, but Hide leaned over the bed and grabbed them out of my hands. 

“Hey, those are my pj’s.” I pout. I reach over to take them from the dirty blonde’s hands, but he holds them further away.

“Ah-ah,” Hide shakes his finger at me.

I spend the next few minutes trying to wrestle the sweats out of Hide’s grip, but he’s bigger than me and keeps them out of my reach. I climb over Hide and try to pin him down while reaching for the sweats. Hide goes to use his free arm to wrap around my back to hold me down from reaching my sweats, but we both lose balance and fall back onto my bed. My chest flushed against Hide’s as he dropped the sweats and gripped my sides. A bright smile plastered on his face as we laughed. As our laughter subsides, I finally notice the position we’re in. Hide is lying back on my bed while my legs are on each side of him, and my chest pressed against his. 

Even though I’m not laughing anymore, my breath is still heavy as I stare into the pool of honey that is Hide’s eyes. The blonde male grips onto my hips, pulling me closer, and a soft gasp leaves my lips. Hide lifts one of his hands and softly brushes a piece of my hair behind my ear. His golden eyes drift down to my lips, and his tongue flicks, moistening his own.

“You don’t need to pack clothes to sleep in. You can use mine.” Hide’s voice was low and husky as he spoke.

I nodded my head, “O-okay.” 

“What’s going on?” A deep and stern voice cut through the atmosphere, causing Hide and I to whip our heads to the side.

Renji is standing in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest and murder in his eyes. Fuck! The door was wide open! I never closed it. I quickly jump off Hide and create distance between the two of us. “N-nothing!” I say.

Renji grunts and glares at Hide before turning around and walking away. A sigh of relief leaves me, and I quickly finish throwing everything I need into my bag, like my skincare and toothbrush. Once I was ready to go, I promptly rushed Hide out of Anteiku, so we wouldn’t run into Renji again. 

“Yomo is scary,” Hide sweat drops, “I hope I don’t piss him off someday.”

I chuckle softly, “I doubt you’ll ever make him seriously mad.”

We make it into Hide’s apartment, and he pulls out a pair of sweats and a T-shirt for me to sleep in. I grab the clothes and head into his bathroom to change and wash my makeup off. I’m glad he told me not to bring my sleepwear. I nuzzle my face into Hide’s shirt I’m wearing and inhale his scent: amber, sandalwood, and cinnamon—my kakugan flicks over my eyes for a second. I jump backward in surprise but shake my head. My eyes didn’t change out of hunger. They changed out of primal instinct. The ghoul inside me recognized this scent as belonging to me and reacted. I take a few breaths to calm down. Even my ghoul instincts have grown attached. 

I walk out of the bathroom and into Hide’s room to see him lying in bed and scrolling through his phone. The dirty blonde male looks up and smiles at me, placing his phone to the side, and then opens his arms. 

“Come here,” Hide smiles softly at me.

I do as he says and crawl into his arms, laying my head on his chest and snuggling into his side. It’s close to 11 p.m., and we must wake up by 5 a.m. Hide wraps the blankets around us and runs his fingers through my hair, lulling me into deep sleep.

“Goodnight, (Y/n).”

“Goodnight, Hide.” I sleepily say.

Hide presses his lips to my forehead, “Sweet dreams, my love.”

——————————

I woke up at 5 a.m., quickly brushed my teeth, washed my face, and dressed. Hide didn’t wake up until 5:30, and we were both ready to go at the same time. We met with the ORC members near the CCG building to follow a detective once they left on patrol. Hide bought us some coffee from a vending machine, which I was thankful for because I don’t usually wake up this early in the morning. Kiyama debriefs us on other times he and Sankou have followed other investigators. Sankou even pulled out a sketchbook with a roughly drawn map of patrol routes and time stamps for when doves would be in that area. I was surprised by the amount of effort they put into this research. I didn’t think they would keep track of each ghoul investigator doing patrols in the 20th ward.

“Hey, Sankou, these maps are amazing,” I say, looking more deeply at her sketchbook. 

“Thank you. You can make copies of them if you’d like,” the shy girl responded.

About 45 minutes pass by the time a pair of doves walk through the glass doors of the CCG building. Kiyama’s eyes darken, and he pushes up his glasses. 

“They’re out. Let’s go,” Kiyama lowers his voice as he speaks.

Sankou rips her sketchbook out of my hands and flips to a blank page. The dark-haired female readies her pencil and begins sketching as we start to walk. Hide has his phone open to notes to mark anything important, and my job is to write down any vital information we overhear the ghoul investigators say. 

If you asked me how exciting tailing behind two doves is, I would tell you it’s incredibly dull. All they do is walk around with their briefcases, talk about mundane things, and miss about ten ghouls that have passed them (and the one following them). The only exciting thing is having to duck down or quickly hide out of sight if they turn around to look at us. Kiyama told us a story about getting caught following a dove last week, and they took him inside the CCG headquarters and interrogated him. So, he’s very strict on our operation, and if we slip up at all, he threatens to kick us out of the ORC. Which, apparently, Hide and I are a part of now.

Sankou put together a bag of snacks for us all, so every time the ghoul investigators stop for a break or linger somewhere for a while, she’ll take the snacks out for all of us. It feels rude to deny the snacks when she went through all the work to make them for us, so I’ve eaten each thing Sankou has given me. Halfway through the day, my stomach starts churning and cramping. All the human food settling in my belly is starting to get to me. I haven’t eaten this much human food back to back, especially without throwing it up. I can feel it weakening my body. 

It’s close to 1 pm, and the doves stop at a restaurant for their lunch break. There’s a convenience store across from where they’re at, so we decide to go there, and the three of them buy instant noodles. I buy a bottle of water to sip on, hoping to settle my stomach, but I know nothing but time will help my ache. We sit at the bar against the window to keep an eye out for when the ghoul investigators leave. Hide sits beside me and gazes at my complexion with furrowed brows.

“Are you not feeling well?” Hide leans in to ask, keeping his voice down.

“Not really,” I say softly.

“We can leave if you want.” The blonde male grabs my hand and runs his thumb over the back of my hand.

“You’re not feeling well?” Sankou asks as she sits beside me, “I hope it wasn’t any of the snacks I’ve made.” 

The dark-haired girl’s face fell, and I felt terrible that she thought her food made me sick. If I were a human, it wouldn’t have bothered me. I wish I could say that the snacks she made weren’t the problem. 

“N-no! Your snacks were very yummy. I’m just getting tired.” I smile at the shy girl. 

Sankou softly smiles back and sighs of relief that it wasn’t her food making me feel bad. Once everyone finished eating, Sankou brought out her notebook with the names of ghoul suspects, and almost every name besides Kaneki was crossed off. I could practically see the steam coming off Hide as he looked over the list. The dirty blonde male reaches past me to grab the notebook, but the dark-haired female slides the notebook across the table, away from Hide’s reach. Hide huffs and tries to get Sankou to cross off Kaneki’s name, but she keeps telling him no. 

Kiyama sighs at the two arguing with one another and butt into their conversation, “We can’t cross his name off till we have solid proof. We have an ORC meeting later tonight, and it won’t look good if we don’t have any test subjects for our research.” 

Hide slides back in his chair and tries to mask his irritation, but I can tell he wants to clear Kaneki’s name. Knowing how Hide is, he won’t give up till they agree that Kaneki isn’t a ghoul. 

“Do the two of you want to join us at the meeting?” Kiyama asks.

Hide perks up, “Can we really?”

“Yeah, everyone is allowed. You can come see all the ghoul research we’ve put together!” Kiyama’s eyes sparkled with excitement.

“Okay! I can’t wait!” Hide matched Kiyama’s energy. 

The two doves finally finished their lunch, so we packed our things and headed out to continue stalking their moves. Doing this reminded me of when I followed Kaneki and Rize on their date. That was a few months ago, but it feels like a lifetime ago. Who knew I’d gain a new friend and a boyfriend because of it all? I still feel guilty for not jumping in and saving Kaneki. He could still be a human and live the life he was meant to have. But then we wouldn’t have someone who has lived both lives. The only person who could truly understand what it’s like to be a human and a ghoul. He could be the key to everyone living in peace. That would be nice. 

The ghoul investigators finally ended their patrol for the day, which meant we were finally done. Nothing interesting happened, and I’m honestly grateful for that. I didn’t want to see any of my fellow ghouls being captured and killed. I also didn’t want to see how Hide would react to being in the presence of a ghoul, or maybe I do. It would show me how Hide really feels about my kind. I know he was upset about them thinking I was a ghoul, and that showed me a tiny bit about how he feels. But would he be scared or disgusted if he came across a ghoul? 

The two ORC members walked ahead of Hide and me. The dirty blonde gently grabbed my arm, pulling me closer to him, and leaned in, “You don’t have to come to this meeting.”

Hide digs into his pocket, pulls out the key to his apartment, and holds it out for me. “Here, you can go back to my place and relax. I won’t be out long.”

Stupid boy, making my heart flutter. I reached out and gently picked up the key to his apartment. A flush overtakes my cheeks as I turn the cold metal around in my hand.

“H-Hide, that’s sweet of you, but I can’t take this.” I hold the key toward Hide. “Kaneki is your best friend. He’s important to you, so I will help you clear his name.”

Hide’s large hand wraps around mine, forcing my fingers to close around the golden key, “It’s yours.” Hide spoke in that soft, deep voice that made my stomach knot.

“Mine?” My voice was so soft I wasn’t sure if the blonde heard me. 

“Yeah, yours. I made a copy so you can see me whenever you want.” Hide flashed me his blinding smile. “If you need to escape from everything, you can come to my place. It’ll always be safe for you, I promise.” 

The knot in my stomach started to work its way up my throat. My mouth was dry, and I couldn’t get a word out—a safe place. My fingers tighten around the key, and I feel it warming up in my palm. My (e/c) eyes tear up as I look into Hide’s. His golden honey pot orbs grab me and pull me into his depths. Hide’s soft touch on my cheek anchors me from drowning within him. 

“It means a lot to me that you want to help. Thank you.” Hide leans down and presses his lips against mine.

My mind doesn’t even register that we’re in public and people are walking around us. In this moment, it’s just Hide and me, and nothing else matters. His lips move gently against mine, causing a few tears to roll down my cheeks, but Hide captures them with his thumb before the saltiness mixes into our kiss.

“Ew,” The sound of distaste at Hide and I’s display of affection pulls us apart. This time, I wasn’t the only one with blushed cheeks. Hide seemed embarrassed when he realized he had kissed me like that on a busy sidewalk. I quickly wipe my cheeks to get rid of lingering tears and turn to the person who caught our attention, Kiyama.

“We don’t have time to wait around for you two to suck face,” The tall male said as he walked away.

Sankou followed after Kiyama, and it seemed her face was also red. I’ll have to apologize for putting them in an awkward situation. 

We made it to this restaurant with a bar downtown. The place was packed, and I was shocked to see more than just students here for this meeting. People of different genders and ages were gathered around. There ended up being four other groups doing their own investigations and presenting their findings. It was interesting to hear what they had to say about ghouls, but what was even more intriguing was what Kiyama and Sankou had to say. They had sheets printed out that Sankou handed out to the crowd to follow along with their findings. They didn’t talk much about what a ghoul was, but they talked about how easy it is for ghouls to blend in with humans and ways to spot them. The crowd was silent and listening intensely to every word Kiyama said, and when they finished, the room erupted with applause.

Everyone dispersed into their social groups and started chatting while some drank. Kiyama and Sankou approached our table, and Hide and I praised them for their presentation. They did an excellent job. If I were a human, I’d question whether the person standing next to me was a ghoul based on what they said. Anyone could be one of those evil creatures hiding in plain sight. 

My face scrunches as a strange scent crawls its way up my nostrils. The hairs on my neck stand still, and I prepare for what’s about to come. A male stands by our table and looks at each of us, and his eyes linger on mine. He has shoulder-length magenta hair and porcelain features. He was wearing a dark grey leather jacket and black skinny jeans. Hide looks up at the male who’s approached us and notices how his eyes linger on me. 

“Who are you?” Hide quirks an eye at the stranger.

“I go by Cain,” The magenta male girns sinisterly at Hide before turning his attention to Kiyama. “I found your presentation quite intriguing.” 

The chestnut-brown male jumps from his seat and bows deeply at Cain, “Thank you!” Excitement was etched on all his features at the new male’s presence. “I can’t believe you’re the Cain!”

Cain waved his hand like it wasn’t a big deal. Hide drapes his arm over my shoulders and pulls me into his side. “Are you famous or something?” 

Kiyamas mouth hangs open at Hide’s question, “He’s the most amazing occult researcher! If there are rumors of an occult activity happening, Cain will go and prove if it’s real or not! He’s gone into dangerous places and risked his life for our research!” 

“Please, let’s not talk about me,” Cain sits between Sankou and me, “I’d like to talk about your findings on the male who used to eat but in this past month hasn’t been seen eating.” 

I could feel Hide tense next to me, so I intertwined my fingers with his hand draped over my shoulder. 

“Kaneki?” Hide chuckles softly, “He’s not a ghoul.” 

Cain turns his attention to the blonde, an alarming aura oozing from the new male. “You must be the witness in the report. What makes you so sure he’s not a ghoul?”

“Kaneki and I are childhood friends. I know everything about him.” Hide puffs his chest up as he speaks.

“Have you never considered he could be a cannibal? Some ghouls like to eat their own.” Cain's eyes sharpen as he leans back in his chair and takes a swing from his beer.

Hide’s face darkens, and he grits his teeth. He’s trying his hardest to clear Kaneki’s name, but these people keep pushing him. Just because this Cain guy is some super occultist doesn’t give him the right to suggest these things about Kaneki when he doesn’t even know him. 

Cain chuckles lowly and pats Hide on the back, “Lighten up! It’s my job to cultivate theories and explore them.” The magenta-haired male sighed, “I understand why you’re upset. I wouldn’t like someone calling my friend a ghoul either, so why don’t we deal with this the occult way and research your friend?”

“Research Kaneki?” 

“We’ll keep a close eye on him throughout the week. Either we’ll find something, or you’ll get to prove your friend innocent.” 

So, from that point forward, the five of us have been watching Kaneki. I watch Kaneki during work while Cain lingers around, Hide watches Kaneki during their shared classes, and Cain sneaks into Kaneki’s other courses. Cain will even follow Kaneki around when he’s not mainly doing anything, and the whole thing has been pissing Hide off. I’ve been doing my best to keep the vibrant blonde relaxed, but I can tell Hide doesn’t like this stranger following Kaneki’s every move. I’d suggest that Kaneki be careful, but he’s not the most subtle guy. Also, Kaneki doesn’t hunt and keeps his kakugan hidden, so Cain won’t see anything suspicious from him.

The five of us get together at the end of the week to review what we’ve all seen and conclude that the dark-haired male doesn’t eat. Cain is disappointed in not seeing anything else that could be solid proof, so he plans to wait until tonight, when Kaneki gets off work, to follow him again. During the night ghouls are more active, so Cain thinks we’ll be able to catch something from Kaneki tonight. During our meeting, Hide was lost in thought. I feel bad he’s going through all this trouble to clear Kaneki of being a ghoul. He has no idea that Kaneki is no longer a human, and I must ensure it stays that way.

*

I held a wet rag and wiped down a table where two customers sat. Once done, I walk into the back room of Antieku to wash up a few dishes before the end of my shift. Kaneki was working the closing shift, so he’d be here a little late, and I wanted to lighten up his cleanup duties. As I’m washing a mug, my mind wanders off too earlier when I ask Kaneki what he’s doing later tonight. The dark-haired male said he had no plans and was going straight home. I told him that was a good idea since people lingered around the cafe lately. Mr Yoshimura told us a few days ago to be weary, but I think those people hanging around Anteiku are just the ORC members watching Kaneki. Hopefully, we can put an end to all this research tonight.

I take my apron off and throw it in one of the laundry bins. I don’t bother going upstairs to change out of my uniform as I don’t want to miss anything. I check in one last time with Kaneki to ensure he doesn’t need anything before I leave. I slip out the back door and walk around our meeting point to see Cain and Sankou waiting. We offer small greetings to one another before standing in silence. Cain looks in my direction, and I can feel his eyes practically burning into me. I glance his way so our eyes meet. Cain is an evil creature hiding in plain sight. I know what he is, and he knows what I am. The moment his scent enveloped my senses, I was on guard. I knew tonight he would try something, and as our eyes battle for dominance, Cain’s kakugan flickers over his orbs. If Sankou weren’t here right now, I would have punched him.

The sound of footsteps approaching us draws our attention. When my eyes land on Hide, a joy ruptures through me, and I can’t help the smile that blooms on my face—the dirty blonde male lights up when he sees me. Hide pulls me into a warm hug and places a kiss on my head before pulling away and grabbing my hand. His fingers tighten around mine, and when I focus on his features, I notice how worn out his face looks. He’s tired.

Our small group huddles in the shadows, and we stare up through Anteiku's windows to see Kaneki working hard. There are 30 minutes left until the cafe closes, and two regulars are chilling in Anteiku. They usually stay until the last minute.

“Kaneki will be working for at least another hour,” I informed our group. 

“How about we walk around?” Cain asks. “We should familiarize ourselves with the area so we don’t get lost while following Kaneki.” 

Cain leads the way as we walk through the dark alley behind the cafe. There’s nobody around since it’s dark out, and this isn’t usually an area where humans wander. These alleys are where ghouls hide out, waiting for that one person who stumbles their way back here. Hide and I linger behind Kiyama and Sankou, and the further we get into the alley, the more you can tell they’re getting scared. Sankou grabs Kiyama’s arm, and he does his best to stand firm, but his body shakes slightly. I share a glance with Hide, and he nods his head. The air feels thick, and we both know something terrible will happen.

Hide reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tinfoil ball. I quirk my eyebrows at the blonde as he starts unfolding it. Kiyama jumps and grips onto Sankou’s shoulders as he looks around.

“D-did you hear that?” Kiyama stutters.

Hide’s lips twitched into a smile, but he quickly settled back into a carefree look, “Oh, sorry, I’m unwrapping my rice ball.” 

Cain deeply chuckles as he turns back to look at Hide, “You don’t care about anything, do you?” 

The blonde shrugs his shoulders and bites into his rice ball. “But maybe we should stop here. If we go any further, we might run into a ghoul.”

I agree with Hide, and the other two quickly nod their heads. Cain looks annoyed at the idea of turning around, but he does what everyone wants to do. Again, Cain puts himself in front and tries to lead us back, but we hit a few dead ends. We’re lost. I haven’t been this far into the alley, so I don’t know which way to go. Cain tells us to wait a minute as he uses his phone to figure out how to get out. I know he’s stalling for time, and this is probably a trap. I reached into my pocket to pull out my phone and hurried to open maps to look at our area.

My focus was solely on my screen as I frantically pieced together a route for us to escape when a gush of wind shot past me, and a loud crashing sound broke through the silence. Hide grabbed my arm and dragged me behind him. My eyes snapped behind me to see Kiyama slumped against the ground. Sankou screamed out and ran toward the chestnut male. Tears poured down her face as she shook his body and tried to wake him up. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Why can’t I ever do things right?! I should’ve stopped us from coming out here. I stand frozen behind Hide as he grips my wrist. Cain is laughing like a maniac, his kagune waving around behind him like a cat’s tail. My eyes are shot wide, and my chest heaves up and down. I can’t seem to catch my breath. What’s wrong with me? Why am I not doing anything? My body is shaking, and I’m trying to pull myself together. I need to protect Hide. I HAVE to protect Hide, but my body won’t move. I can’t summon my kagune. FUCK! I’m too much of a damn coward. I can’t let Hide know I’m a ghoul, but if I don’t do something, he could die this time. 

Cain’s kagune whips out toward Hide, and he quickly moves me further to the side. His kagune cuts Hide's cheek, and a drop of blood trails down his face. Cain's kagune slithers back to him, leaving a crumbling hole in the wall behind us. Hide grips my wrist harder and begins running, dragging me behind him. Hide maneuvers quickly through the alleys like he knows where he’s going, but Cain is too fast and catches up. Cain’s bikaku kagune strikes down Hide, causing the blonde’s body to drop to the ground.

“Hide!” I quickly fall to my knees and grab onto Hide as he clutches his chest and struggles to breathe. 

I pull Hide into my chest, and my eyes burn with fire as I look back at Cain. My kakugan finally takes over my eyes. 

Cain hysterically laughs as he sees my reaction. “I was wondering when you’d turn!”

“(Y-Y/n),” Hide coughs out my name.

I slowly let go of Hide and stood before Cain, “I’ll handle this.” 

Something inside me snapped, and all I saw was red. My kagune wrapped around my arm, and I charged at Cain, not even caring that Hide was behind me. The only thought in my mind was that Cain hurt Hide, and I would make him pay. Cain fights me off for a few minutes, but I can quickly tell he’s not very good at combat. I slip behind the ghoul and stab my kagune through his right shoulder. It glides smoothly through his body, and Cain screams out in pain. An evil smile grows on my face, and I stab him again.

“You. Can’t. Hurt. Him.” I say in between slashes. All you hear are the screams from Cain’s mouth.

“(Y/n), stop.” Hide tries to call out to me, but his voice doesn’t reach my ears.

I haven’t been this luscious for blood since I was consumed by hunger, but this time, I don’t want blood to eat. For so long, I’ve been too scared to help when others were in danger, and for too long, I just sat on the sidelines. Not anymore. I’m going to fight, and I’m going to protect those I love. Even if it means I have to kill someone. 

A loud crackling sound snaps me from my tunnel vision. Sparks fly in the sky from firecrackers, and the deafening sound pierces through my ears. I look down to see Cain passed out and lying in a pool of his blood, and my hand slaps over my mouth. I move away from his body, and tears start streaming down my blood-stained cheeks. I went too far. He’s on death's door. 

“I’m sorry,” I croak out. 

“(Y/n),” Hide softly calls to me. 

My body jumps at the sound of his voice, and I stare down at the ground, “I’m sorry.”

I slowly step away from Hide to create space between us. His olive eyes are vast, and I can only imagine his thinking. I don’t want to stay around long enough to hear his thoughts. I quickly turn around and use my kagune to help push me onto one of the buildings.

“(Y/n), wait!” I hear Hide yell for me below, but I don’t stop.

I keep running.

——————————

YOU GUYSSSSS, IT’S HERE!!!! FOUR FUCKING MONTHS LATER. I’m so sorry, and I hope the wait has been worth it! 

Did you guys expect this? If you haven't read Tokyo Ghoul Days, the novel, then this ending might be surprising. Originally, Hide fights off Cain on his own and draws the attention of the doves with the firecrackers. I thought this would be a good time for the reader to officially reveal herself as a ghoul to Hide (even though he already knows).

I’m going to create a taglist for this story so if y’all want to be on it then comment on the calamity masterlist saying taglist!