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whotfelsewantedtobelynnyx · 11 months ago

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Where I’ve been, and my plans moving forward.

Hey Tumblr (and hopefully my AO3 readers)…it’s been a minute. And I’m sorry for that, I really am. I wanted to pop on here and give y’all an explanation as to what’s been going on with me and where I’ve been…but for a writer, I’m surprisingly short on stuff to say. So I’m just going to start.

Where I’ve been

It’s been at least a month since I’ve posted (and over a year since I’ve updated my most popular series, The Raven House). And…yeah, I feel bad about that. The short version is, I completely changed my lifestyle. The long version is that I finished my semester of school at the end of May last year and just…didn’t go back. Initially, I decided to work full time for awhile to give myself some time to recover after a bad mental break. But I realized pretty quickly that I didn’t want it to be temporary. I have severe ADHD and anxiety, as well as some health issues that just overall made school miserable for me. At least right now, I’m much more fulfilled and happy with my work. I’m lucky enough to have gotten a good job (really good for someone my age) in an AMAZING work environment and I’m just much happier there.

So what does this have to do with my fics and my blog?

Well, two things. One- I have less time overall. To be honest, a LOT of my works were written while I was spacing out in class. With my job, I don’t have the time or really any reason to space out at my desk- and that really is a good thing! Because secondly, writing was as much a coping mechanism as it was a hobby. When I was posting and writing regularly, a lot of it was pure avoidance. I could stave off my stress by pretending I was being productive when I wrote a new chapter, and I could avoid paying attention to class by researching for my character’s outfits, you know? It made it easier. It was also (depressingly) one of the few places where I could get real positive feedback and praise, which I DESPERATELY needed, but never got (as I was admittedly a terrible student). So I did as much as possible in order to garner pretty much any positive attention. And I am grateful that in those times, I had writing to cope- but I’m also glad that I don’t have to rely on it as much anymore, because it ultimately wasn’t healthy.

Where does this leave me?

I don’t write all this to announce the closing of my account. I promise, this is not me saying goodbye. However, I’m going to be learning how to truly embrace writing as a hobby and how to fit it into my new lifestyle. With that, I’ll be trying to work on more of my original content, which I post separately. I'll also be adjusting my plans for some of my fics. Here’s the list of what I’m planning on going forward.

The Raven House

The Raven House is my most popular work and absolutely one of my favorites. It also takes AGES to write, especially with me having shifted hyper fixations. I won't be pausing or stopping work on it all, but it will continue to take ages. TL;DR: It's not going away, but it'll continue to take a long time and have a very uneven upload schedule. I hope y'all will understand and keep going.

Multimedia

This piece will be discontinued. Honestly, I just have no idea where to go with it and there's not much point in me keeping it going. I think it's a fun concept, but I don't really want to continue it at this time.

Insomnia

Similar to Multimedia, it's a fun concept, but I don't have any ideas or motivation to push forward with it.

Blank Space

This will stay as a one-shot for now. I originally wrote this with plans to have it as a three chapter story, but I'd rather focus my motivation on The Raven House.

Shades Of Lavender

For lack of a better word, I'm considering this piece to be on hiatus. I don't want to say goodbye to this piece or these characters by any means- however it's another that will continue to take AGES. I'll work on it on the side, but I won't be posting it for the foreseeable future.

Purgatory

I'm wrapping up the last pages of this fic! However I'm still deciding if I can really wrap this up with one more chapter.

That's...pretty much all I had to say. I feel like I'm forgetting something. I'll remember later.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to my readers who see this. I understand if you left, but I'm doubly grateful for the ones who stuck around <3

#the owl house #toh #the raven house au #the raven house #fan fiction writing #fanfiction #fanfic #lynnyx writes #scythe #arc of a scythe #archive of our own #hunger games

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surgerymarketing · 10 days ago

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Bariatric Surgery Growth Strategies

Do not misunderstand the procedure of bariatric surgery marketing by comparing it to advertising a brand-new gym membership. Marketing bariatric surgery is a work of balancing sensitivity and creativity, along with a total understanding of the potential patients' needs. Let us plunge into some winning strategies that would bring you into the audience with a lot of fun.

Know Your Audience (Hint: They’re Not Looking for Kale Recipes)

Candidly, before you even think about architecting brilliant campaigns, first understand the audience that you are addressing. Potential clients for bariatric surgery are overweight people who are health-challenged. They are not just looking for a course of action; they are looking for hope, for health, for a fresh start altogether.

Conduct surveys or use social listening tools to grasp their concerns, fears, and motivations. Knowing what makes them tick will help you craft messages that resonate.

Content That Clicks, Not Clutters

Let's be honest: Nobody wants to listen to boring, creatively deadening lingo coming out of mouths filled with sealed medical talk. Create content that is learning but also bursting with its education textbook like a talk-show host.

Blog Ideas: "How Bariatric Surgery Helped Me Dance at My Daughter’s Wedding" or "10 Things You Didn’t Know About Bariatric Surgery (But Should)."

Video Content: Animated explainer videos or heartfelt patient testimonials.

Infographics: Keep it visual and digestible (pun intended).

Your website: More Than a Digital Brochure

Your website should be as inviting and comforting as a coffee shop on a rainy day. Make sure that the user finds it user-friendly and is able to easily navigate through the entire site without any difficulty, along with providing all resources.

Key Features to Include:

Success stories (with before-and-after photos if patients consent)

FAQs and informative articles

Contact forms and appointment booking options

HIPAA-compliant messaging system (privacy matters!)

Social Media: Be Real, Be Relatable

No more bland advertisements. Social networking for bariatric surgery marketing calls for empathy, education, and entertainment. Share life stories on Facebook, Instagram, and yes, even TikTok!

Post Ideas:

"Transformation Tuesday" success stories

Behind-the-scenes clips from your team

Live Q&A sessions with your doctors

SEO: Your Secret Weapon

Consider SEO to be your website's trainer. It keeps everything in shape so potential patients can find you. For example, insert keywords such as "bariatric surgery marketing" in different places on your site. Don't overstuff, though hate that!

SEO Must-Dos:

Regularly update your blog with fresh, relevant content.

Use local keywords to attract patients near your clinic.

Optimize page loading speeds — no one likes a slowpoke.

Paid Ads: Because Organic Reach Is So 2010

Pay-to-play is sometimes the name of the game. Conduct search engine marketing (SEM) and social media ads to catch the attention of those actively seeking weight loss aids.

Ad Ideas:

"Ready for a Lighter, Healthier You? Let’s Talk!"

"Transform Your Life with Expert Bariatric Surgery Care."

You need to ensure that your advertisements appear attractive and that you update them at least bi-weekly so that your audience does not develop ad fatigue.

Reputation Management: Your Online Bedside Manner

Many prospective patients will weigh positive reviews when making decisions. Thus, encourages satisfied patients to voice their good experiences while professionally responding to all forms of feedback (even the cranky ones).

Host Events (Without the Awkward Ice Breakers)

Incorporate information seminars or webinars on possible patients that can help them learn low-pressure conditions about your services. Even better if you bring in some previous patients who would be inspired to testify about their experience with the treatments.

Let’s Get Your Bariatric Surgery Marketing in Shape

To market bariatric surgery effectively, you probably want to shed a little serious air from the whole business. When you've got a little strategy, a little empathy, and a pinch of amusement, people come to trust you, attract new patients, and most importantly, start making real change.

If you need such a serious partner, lighten the load while making such heavy-duty serious gains: 'Get Surgery Leads' is in the business of making customized bariatric surgery marketing machines that work well. Contact Get Surgery Leads and start cutting the path to a healthier, thriving practice!

Want to scale up your bariatric practice? Unlock the power of 'Bariatric Digital Marketing: The Weight-Loss Surgeon’s Secret Weapon.' Click to learn the strategies that deliver real results

#bariatric surgery marketing

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simonhopes · 4 months ago

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Navigating Legal Challenges: Essential Tips for Handling Legal Issues

Legal issues can be confusing and stressful, but knowing how to handle them can make a big difference. This blog post will explore essential tips for navigating legal challenges effectively. Whether dealing with a personal or business matter, these tips will help you confidently manage legal issues.

Understanding the Basics of Legal Issues

It is essential to understand the basics when facing legal issues. Legal issues can arise from many situations, such as contracts, property disputes, or criminal charges. Each type of legal issue requires a different approach and understanding of the law.

Finding the Right Legal Help

One of the first steps in handling legal issues is finding the right legal help. Hiring a knowledgeable lawyer can provide the expertise needed to navigate the complexities of the law. Make sure to choose a lawyer specializing in law relevant to your issue. You can ask for recommendations, read reviews, and check credentials to find a reliable attorney.

Gathering and Organizing Important Documents

Gathering and organizing essential documents is crucial when dealing with legal issues. This includes contracts, letters, emails, and any other relevant paperwork. Organizing these documents can help your lawyer better understand your case and provide the necessary support. Make copies of all documents and keep them in a safe place.

Understanding Your Legal Rights

Knowing your legal rights is essential in handling legal issues. Your lawyer can help explain your rights and how they apply to your situation. This knowledge will empower you to make informed decisions and protect yourself legally. Always ask questions if you are unsure about any aspect of your rights.

Communicating Effectively with Your Lawyer

Effective communication with your lawyer is critical to resolving legal issues. Be honest and open about all details related to your case. Regularly update your lawyer with any new information and respond promptly to their queries. Good communication ensures that your lawyer can represent you effectively.

Staying Calm and Focused

Legal issues can be emotionally draining, but it is essential to stay calm and focused. Stress can cloud your judgment and hinder your ability to make rational decisions. Take deep breaths, stay organized, and follow your lawyer’s advice. Remember, keeping a clear head is essential for navigating legal challenges successfully.

Considering Alternative Dispute Resolution

In some cases, alternative dispute resolution (ADR) methods like mediation or arbitration can effectively resolve legal issues without going to court. ADR can save time and money and often provides a more amicable resolution. Discuss with your lawyer if ADR is a suitable option for your case.

Preparing for Court

If your legal issue goes to court, proper preparation is crucial. Your lawyer will guide you through the process, but you should also be prepared. Dress appropriately, be punctual, and understand the court procedures. Being prepared can help you feel more confident and present your case effectively.

Reviewing and Understanding Legal Documents

Before signing any legal documents, reviewing and understanding them thoroughly is essential. Legal jargon can be confusing, so ask your lawyer to explain any terms or clauses you do not understand. Never sign a document if you are unsure about its contents.

Keeping Updated with Legal Changes

Laws and regulations can change over time, so it is essential to stay updated. Follow legal news and updates relevant to your situation. Your lawyer can also provide information on any changes affecting your case. Staying informed helps you adapt and respond to new legal challenges.

Conclusion

Handling legal issues can be challenging, but you can navigate them effectively with the right approach. You can confidently manage legal challenges by understanding your legal rights, finding the right lawyer, and staying organized. Remember to remain calm, communicate effectively, and be prepared for all possible outcomes.

FAQs

Q: How do I find a good lawyer for my legal issue?

Ask for recommendations, read online reviews, and check the lawyer's credentials and experience in the relevant area of law.

Q: What should I do if I cannot afford a lawyer?

Look for legal aid services and pro bono lawyers, or contact local bar associations for assistance with affordable legal help.

Q: What are alternative dispute resolution methods?

Mediation and arbitration are standard ADR methods that help resolve disputes without going to court, often saving time and money.

Q: How can I stay updated with legal changes?

Follow legal news, subscribe to legal newsletters, and ask your lawyer for updates on any changes relevant to your case.

Q: What should I do if I don't understand a legal document?

Ask your lawyer to explain any terms or clauses you do not understand before signing the document.

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sincerely-krp · 1 year ago

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"krp is not a big slice of our lives" yet you made a krp TEA blog (your words) and spend your time updating it regularly. every anonymous ask you receive is baseless, it's ANONYMOUS and not a direct source, forcing innocent people to defend their name when they never needed to in the first place. are you joking?

hello again!

"krp is not a big slice of our lives" yet you made a krp TEA blog (your words) and spend your time updating it regularly.

this doesn't disprove what we were saying! there are two of us here, and we often queue the asks in our inbox to make sure something is present each day, and then if we have free time we can always directly post things too! it takes us a minute or two to do so. time-wise, this blog only becomes a commitment when there are active problems that victims talk to us about, or when we realize a couple anons are growing into a bullying situation, etc. priority-wise, we do prioritize krp to a certain degree, of course, we made this blog which means we're choosing to enter the krp scape with a service, but that does not equal what you're implying, which is that we spend our times prioritizing this blog unhealthily. it's a hobby we care about, and we'll gladly shut this blog down when there's no use for it.

every anonymous ask you receive is baseless, it's ANONYMOUS and not a direct source, forcing innocent people to defend their name when they never needed to in the first place.

this is true, but a blog that would run only on proof would never get used, which would keep all the traffic on the unfiltered blogs. it was the original use of this blog, which is how we know. part of why we allowed krp-verse to post something to our blog months and months ago is because their review system is something that if used would stop the need for blogs like us forever, and when they dmed us, they opened with that because they wanted to reach the parts of the community on here that aren't toxic but looking for reviews of krps they might want to join. but no one uses it, which is proof that no one will take time out of their day to post feedback in a constructive way, and also proves people are not going to stop talking trash somewhere. and if the traffic is here, then we can do our best to not be as irresponsible as the previous blogs were.

the reason our blog is active continuously aside from the venting is because what feedback blogs do that nothing else does is attract passive krpers that check to see what an rp climate is like, based on the amount of people talking about it on here. if there was a better place for people to be able to express their feelings about their rps or for people to be able to see what an rp is like, then a lot of our traffic would go to zero.

and that kind of place is there, with krp-verse (maybe more places but this was the only one that we were told about), but if we don't use it, then how will we promote the use of other better resources? we can change our blog to being proof-only, or constructive-only, but it will only work if the majority of krp can see that it is the standard and their toxicity or pettiness won't be received well. right now, it isn't the standard because no one uses the better available options. check #context for more information. if there are other better options, tell us and we'll promote them too.

if you want us to stop, or the grand majority of people want us to stop, we can. but we don't think that it will do anything but trigger a new place to open, based on the many anons we don't post that are very angry and involved still. some place will open that will allow them all to be posted, and all the traffic here will go there.

this isn't us having a gross savior complex or avoiding the real responsibility we have on the mental health issues feedback blogs can make. we're trying to be honest with you because you deserve that! and we're honest when we say that we would love to find our blog rendered useless, but it will be here because this is a step up from what it used to be, and hopefully people will move to a step up from here, and there will be no use for people to look at a place like this for feedback.

are you joking?

sorry, joking about what? /gen

#update

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b2bblogger · 1 year ago

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sleepy-shutin · 2 years ago

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do you think you NEED therapy to heal from DID? cause idk i dont think ill ever be able tk afford it or have it accessible to me (im physically disabled cant drive cant walk that far, places are limited)

like am i never gonna get better ? i find dbt skills online but like am i just discarded by this world because i dont have money and im disabled? cause im thinking its almost pointless

honestly, i can't say. i think a lot can be done with self-help books and reading the literature on DID, and going through support groups, which is what i've been doing for 4 years. it's been working pretty well for me, personally, and i can always give recommendations for books and where to find PDFs of them online for free, as well as forums that might help, (though i got to my forums and facebook groups through searching 'DID forum' and searching 'dissociative identity disorder' on facebook, lol).

i don't have therapy, have never had therapy, and probably won't be able to have therapy for a long time. i don't know if i'll ever have therapy, and by the time i'm able to have it, i don't even know if i'll actually want or need it.

i can say that through support groups and reading the literature on DID, i've managed to get by, to figure out communication and cooperation between many, but not all, of my parts. as far as i'm concerned, my life is semi-successful as i'm managing a job, an ask blog, (even if it's not regularly updating...), a social life and my system.

and honestly, this isn't even the beginning. for the last 4 years, i've been basically at ground zero because i'm still living with my abusive family. i don't have the space to communicate with certain parts, i don't have the space to process trauma, i barely even have the space to be triggered. i imagine things will become very different when i move out, and it might become miles more difficult for me.

my honest opinion?

i think it's possible to manage your life without therapy for DID. i think it could even be possible to process trauma without therapy for your DID.

therapy is kind of a far-off pipe dream for me, really. like i said, i don't know if i'll ever be able to have therapy. i'm making $15.75 an hour and still right now, i can barely afford my groceries and help my mom with the bills without going broke, even when i'm trying to save as much as i can. so if nothing else, i'm holding onto the idea that life can be managed and you can heal with/from DID without therapy because i may never get to a point where i'm able to get it.

i think there is hope for us yet, anon.

#ask #anon #sorry if this is rambly i jsut got off work #i had 3 and 1/2 hours of sleep last night #because i got triggered and kept having panic attacks #or more like one long panic attack that never really went away #and i couldn't really calm down from #so #im a mess rn #i think it's going to be ok for both of us anon #actuallydid #actuallymultiple #actuallydissociative #actuallytraumagenic

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royz-yade · 2 years ago

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Hey, it's sad to see this blog so dead but I can understand you. The fandom is not as big as it was and to keep updates and translations is alot of work that I clearly see wouldn't be worth it anymore. And you have your own life as well. Thank you for all your efford over the years!! This blog taught me so much about Royz and helpt me understand things! I will still come here again and again to read and remember. Thank you so much for the amazing work!! \(*>*)/

omg I read this when I was on vacation and it warmed my heart so much.

Sorry for my super late reply!! I wanted to properly take time for it, so here it is... ^^

I remember when I realized more and more that the vk fandom feels like dying. I remember how I still loved Royz so much and I don’t want to say “it’s not worth it anymore” but you are right.. it got somehow frustrating and I started to wonder if the time and effort I put into it can stand in relation to the people who still want to read it. I don't mean neccessarily the reblogs or likes. It was always enough for me to just see that people read it. Some sent super cute thanks-messages like yours and I really loved them. That was all I wanted.. to contribute to the fandom. To make the band better understood to people who couldn't speak Japanese. But yeah... it got less and less but the time and effort was still the same. Then, my lifestyle changed and I got less time for translations and posting pics. And I think that was the final blow. It broke my heart when I decided to stop posting pics. To stop making myself believe that I need to do translations every now and then.

I am a person for whom it's super hard to quit something xD" Especially something my heart is so connected to like this royz-blog. I remember how I started only as helper for the founder in 2011 (wtf. this blog exists for 1/3 of my life!!) and took lead of it a couple of months later when the owner left.

Even though I don't post regularly anymore for like 2 years now this blog is still very very dear to me. And it makes me so happy to hear that you guys still come here every now and then and check out stuff. And that it really helped you understanding this band better.

There are still days when I think of reviving it. That's why I never posted something official like... "I am quitting here!" But I need to be honest: I guess that day won't come. Maybe there will be song translations in the future. Just a few. Nothing regular. That's what I want to keep open xD But I won't delete this blog. It has too much emotional value for me ;D

Also... Don't keep your hopes too high. I will travel the world for the upcoming year xD" So there won't be time to do anything on here.

Ah, btw... I STILL have - not many but a few - translations and gifs in my drafts... from years ago that I never posted xD" Maybe their anniversary would be a nice opportunity......?

In the end.... again - thanks so much for your message! It made me smile and I love to hear that there are still other Royz-fans out there and for whom this blog still has some value ^-^ I still love this band and its fandom. And I will always think back of the high-time of this blog and this fandom.

I will always remember all the emotions and memories I made thanks to this abdn and thanks to you, the Royz-fandom!

Fun fact: You sent this ask to me the day I wrote on twitter how much I miss being in contact with mako-maru who helped SO much on this blog back then...... I went to travel to their country by chance 2 weeks ago and thought of it... It was by chance it was the same day you sent me this ask! Or at least I guess it was by chance xD

#ask #thank you

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thefirsttree · 3 years ago

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A personal update + my next game

OK, time to do this. I’ve been meaning to do a big DAVID WEHLE™ update for a while now and explain why I haven’t released a new game yet, but you know how life gets in the way. Especially when life is a quarantine hellscape, you have three beautiful, amazing, exhausting kids to raise, a spouse’s job you support, a viral YouTube channel that turns your brain to mush, a thousand emails waiting in your inbox since your game is free on the Epic Games Store (with an impressive number of redemptions too! … meaning lots of emails and customer support issues), etc., etc. What also contributes to my lack of updates is because… I just don’t really like posting online. Fascinating correlation, I know!

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be a venting/ranting blog post (well, maybe a bit), because my life is seriously AMAZING and INSANELY BLESSED and LUCKY. I can’t believe how many dreams keep coming true, so much so that I feel I don’t deserve it and I really pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes… but I did want to at least be honest, because I owe that to myself.

Wow, where do I even begin? Well, how about we start with the reason I’m even a full-time indie game dev now: The First Tree. This small hobby project I worked on at night morphed into this gargantuan beast (or fox) that took over my life the past 5 years. Which is great! I’m living the dream! And yet, I really didn’t expect it to do as well as it did. At its core, my game is a slow-paced, sad walking simulator (ahem, I prefer the term “exploration game,” but you know what I mean) that somehow seemed to launch at the right time to the right audience. It resonated deeply with some of you, and for that I’m eternally grateful. I still get emails almost daily how my game changed their lives in some formative way. I’m beyond honored.

However, with that spotlight came criticism and demands from the ever-present, insatiable internet. I would randomly be surfing the gamedev subreddit trying to decompress, and I would see a comment by some rando saying how much I didn’t deserve my success, and how it was all one huge lucky fluke. And I believed them!

And to add to it, some devs considered me an indie marketing “guru”, which I was uncomfortable with. I worked hard to market my game every week, and after my GDC talk, people assumed marketing was my passion; the reason I got up every morning. Just to clarify… NO, I don’t like marketing, and I hate being the center of attention. I don’t like asking people for money and wishlists. But I did what was necessary because I was passionate about telling stories, and I wanted to give my story a fighting chance to be seen on the crowded pages of Steam.

So now, you’re probably wondering “well then David, why did you make fancy YouTube videos showing off your success? Not very modest if you ask me.” This honestly could be a long blog post all on its own, because my experience of putting myself in the spotlight and becoming a “content creator” is… complicated. It was an unusual step for me, especially since I never even showed my face online (as a game developer) until my GDC talk.

First off, I always wanted to teach and start a YouTube channel. I love video editing, especially since I’ve been doing it longer than making games! It’s a huge passion of mine. And teaching people who didn’t know they could make and finish games was a huge motivator (and it’s been so rewarding already). But the second reason is, I was scared. I was self-employed, and I was riding the success of a “huge lucky fluke” that would probably not happen again. I wanted to make sure I could provide for my amazing family, and give them food and health insurance and security in these tumultuous times. I was turning my lifelong passions and hobbies into a business, and it wasn’t as simple of a mental transition as I thought.

So, I went all in on YouTube and the accompanying online course called Game Dev Unlocked. I spent years editing the scripts and videos, and polishing them to a shine. At first, no one watched my videos, no one was buying… and in the blink of an eye, the YouTube algorithm picked up my main autobiographical video (“How Making Indie Games Changed My Life”), and I started getting 5,000 subscribers a day. Right now, I’m at 150,000 subs, which is still hard for me to believe. I always had a dream of earning 100k subs on YouTube, so I was pretty happy with the whole thing. Sales were OK, but mostly people didn’t want to buy the course. Then the emails came in…

Something you should know about me: I am a textbook “people pleaser,” and if someone asks for my help, I take it very seriously. If someone is mad at me, even if I didn’t do anything wrong, it’s all I can think about, and it ruins my day. So, taking an onslaught of people begging for help and multiplying that by an impossible amount of people for my brain to truly comprehend thanks to the internet… and let’s just say it wasn’t a healthy mix.

I received thousands of emails from people who were begging me for some kind of reassurance that everything would be OK. That their dreams would come true too. And I wanted to help every single one of them. I went from a nobody working on a game for fun to becoming a spokesperson for the indie game dream. I couldn’t even get a shake from the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru without someone recognizing me and asking for game dev advice. And it didn’t stop there… I would get emails from suicidal kids asking for help, teenagers from Afghanistan asking me to get them out of their country, and on one occasion I received an email from a hopeful game developer in a war-torn country who had just experienced a bomb blowing up their neighboring village. His friends were dead, and he was hoping he could finish a game before he died too, and he needed my help. How do you say no to something like that? Didn’t I owe it to everyone because I was lucky with my hit game and I needed to “pay it forward”? (Something people constantly reminded me of)

And then to top it off, after you’ve given everything you’ve got to other people in need… you get hate mail in your inbox. You spend the whole day serving your children and strangers on the internet, then when the kids are finally asleep, you hit the bed to relax and take a look at your phone to decompress, and you randomly come across an angry gamer in your Twitter mentions telling you your game they got for free sucks, and that you took away a potentially great game from them and that your apology isn’t good enough.

Long story short, I went to a mental therapist for the first time in my life. I was broken trying to care for two toddlers and a new baby in a pandemic (which is very, very hard), taking care of my course students who gave me their hard-earned money and demanded results, and the countless people begging for help on the internet. I was this introverted, internet-lurker trying to take on the weight of the world. I was so tired and hurt that no one cared about me and my needs… only what I could do for them.

Quitting my day job and making this hobby my full-time job has stirred up… mixed emotions. This statement may disturb some of you, but I was definitely 100% happier when I had a full-time job and I was working on my game at night. I missed working with the amazing team at The VOID, working on Star Wars… back when the success of my game was this abstract thing I could only daydream about. Mostly, I was making my game for me with no outside expectations to pay the bills or satisfy the ever-demanding internet, and that brought me a lot of joy.

It’s not all doom and gloom though! I’m actually very happy now and in the best shape I’ve been since the pandemic started. I’ve had to confront my weaknesses and personality quirks, but I’m a better person for it (and I’m sure these issues would’ve come out eventually). I hired an awesome community manager for Game Dev Unlocked who is helping SO MUCH with the emails, I can’t even tell you the mental burden it alleviates. I even leased a co-working office to help separate work from my home, and that’s been a huge help too. I’ve decided to work with my old friends from The VOID on a cool, new VR experience. It will take me away from my projects a bit, but I’m ecstatic to work with a great team again (and not manage anything, whew).

These are all things I would’ve never guessed I needed, because I thought I knew myself pretty well… turns out I didn’t.

The reality is: running a business is HARD. Running it solo is even harder. You have to remember, I was burnt out on The First Tree well into the Steam release in 2017, but I kept working on it for 4 more years due to my fears of failing again and not earning enough money for my family.

So, I was wrestling with the age-old concept of commercialism and art. There was this dichotomy of doing whatever I wanted and being true to my vision (what most people assume the indie dev dream is like), and doing only what customers wanted to buy. This is something that has killed me with YouTube… in one specific instance, I was super excited to make the exact video I wanted to make. I loved every part of its creation, and I thought it had a message that would inspire everyone. I lovingly edited it over several weeks, posted it, and excitedly waited for the stats… and it was by far my worst performing video.

This is not a new problem. Even the Sistine Chapel by Michelangelo was a commission forced upon him by the very violent Pope Julius II. My wife and I regularly talk about the fine balance between artistic integrity and commercialism, a problem she is very familiar with as an artist who constantly needs to balance what she wants to make with what the customer wants to hang up in their home.

For The First Tree, I was lucky. It was pretty much what I wanted to make (I had to compromise a lot of things of course), and it turned out millions of people wanted it too. Recently, I thought the safe business decision would be to do it all over again, so I started work on a spiritual successor to The First Tree (an idea that I may revisit one day since I do love the story idea). But that isn’t happening anytime soon. Trust me when I say I am now currently burnt out on animal exploration games.

So that realization left me with a question: what do I do next?

I’ve decided I need to make a game that I want to make, for me. It will be a bit different and I’m almost certain most fans of The First Tree will not love it… but it’s an idea that gets me super excited. It’s an idea that could help me fall in love with game development again.

A few more details: this game will be story-driven, first-person, and will use the Unreal Engine. That means development is gonna be slow going, because I have to learn a whole new tool. The “smart business” decision would be to make something quickly in Unity which I’m already familiar with… but I want to do this for me, and UE5 looks like a lot of fun. I’m also shooting for an early-ish release date so I avoid burn out and I keep the game short: I want to release it in Fall 2022, but knowing game development, it will probably take longer.

With the help of my therapist, I’ve also concluded that I’ve been too accessible on the internet and that my self-worth isn’t determined by the amount of people I try to help online. Of course, I love helping people and seeing them succeed, but I need to step back and focus on my family and myself. I will delete my social media apps on my phone (I will still post big updates occasionally) and stop responding to most emails, tweets, DMs, etc. It’s not that I’m ungrateful… in fact, if I don’t say thank you or at least acknowledge the incredibly nice people who share a sweet message about my game or want to tell me how I inspire them (still hard for me to believe, lol), I feel a ton of guilt… but I need to let that go. Please know I’m extremely grateful to all the fans who follow my work, so even if I don’t thank you directly, I truly mean it: thank you.

I will still post and stream occasionally on YouTube when I want to (and I still do live Q&A’s for my GDU students). The online course sales will help support my family as I work on a potentially risky game idea (and my new job will help alleviate the risk too). I’m gonna try one more marketing experiment and sell a mini-course soon (and add an Unreal section), and after that I’m done working on it. A gigantic thank you to the people who bought my course and are part of the amazing community, it has helped me and my family tremendously, and it’s inspiring seeing the games you make!

I’m a bit worried about the whole thing since this new game idea could flop, which could definitely affect my family. But a sappy, high-school yearbook quote is coming to mind… I think it applies here: “A ship in harbor is safe—but that is not what ships are built for.”

Thanks for reading,

David

#gamedev #indie games #the first tree

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rallamajoop · 4 years ago

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How (not) to say ‘fuck’ in Etruscan (and other things I cannot believe I spent so much time tracking down for a throwaway joke in a Witcher slash-fic)

Buried in chapter 4 of my fic Something Nice is a joke which, as much as it amused me, no-one else is going to get unless I explain it. So here we go.

For the last few people in this fandom who haven't heard yet: The Witcher 3's vampire-language is Etruscan. To my knowledge, there's never been an official statement from CDPR to confirm this, but the evidence (ie. that basically all the vampire vocab can be found in online Etruscan sources) seems pretty solid. To explain why this made me go oooooh that's so NEAT, we need a little context.

Context!

The Etruscans (in my admittedly far-from-expert understanding) were a people who lived in Italy back before the Romans got around to conquering-slash-assimilating the rest of the peninsula, and the language they spoke is one of the most frustratingly mysterious of the ancient world. Most dead languages are at least related to something modern linguists have a decent handle on, but Etruscan seems to have been related to almost nothing else spoken – it may even have pre-Indo-European roots (a whoooole other tangent I am in no way qualified to cover).

Surprisingly, we do owe our modern Latin alphabet in part to the Etruscans, since the earliest Roman alphabets were adapted from the Etruscan (who got it from the Greeks, who got it from from the Phoneticians, and so on). The Etruscans may even be the reason we're stuck with so many weirdly redundant K-sounds (not only K and C, but X and Q, which are really just 'ks' and 'kw' with an overblown sense of superiority).

But being able to sound out every surplus K-word from an Etruscan inscription isn't much help nowadays when there are no surviving Etruscan dictionaries to tell us what it actually means – not even a decent Etruscan Rosetta stone to give us a push-start. So while modern linguists may rattle off Ancient Greek fluently or puzzle out Egyptian hieroglyphs from thousands of years before the Etruscans even had an alphabet, the Etruscan vocabulary available to us nowadays remains embarrassingly limited. Bits have been figured out from context or thanks to loanword exchanges with their neighbours (plenty of ancient Greeks and Romans certainly spoke Etruscan, even if they failed to write it down), but a lot is still as mysterious to the experts as it would be to you and me.

So why to I love the idea of using Etruscan as the Witcher’s vampire-language so much? Basically, if you want a language that will sound both old and reliably alien to anyone listening to it – be they the mainstream English-speaking market or the original Polish-language audience – Etruscan is a damn good call. You're not going to have much vocabulary to draw from, but it's not like there's a lot of vampire-chatter in the game anyway. It's a cool little easter egg for fans nerdy enough to try and figure out what they're saying.

Translations and Sources

You aren’t going to find a lot of great Etruscan language sources on the web – few of the easily-discovered online sources on Etruscan vocab appear to have been updated within the last ten years, and lord knows how consistent some of these are with current scholarship (let alone how sure linguists can be about anything with a task like this). All the same, have some links you may find useful:

Etruscology – Brief, but more readable than most

Lexicons.ru Etruscan Glossary – Probably one of the best collections of many terms in one place

Maravot.com Etruscan Language pages – Hard to navigate, but gosh there are a lot of vocab here I have not seen elsewhere

Old, Tripod-hosted Etruscan Glossary – I think these are mostly just the same terms from the Lexicons page, but in harder-to-use format

Etruscan word search – Decent, but not the most extensive vocab

Introduction to the Etruscan Language – Looks to be from Maravot.com, but in pdf format

Paleoglot.com’s Etruscan tag – Blog by an actual linguist who regularly discusses Etruscan material, and who even created their own translation applet! – which was, unfortunately, in flash, and is thus no longer usable. (There is a certain irony that even the tools available online to help you understand Etruscan are written in a language that is now no longer supported or understood by any modern browser.)

Not that translating what’s in the game is going to be easy, oh no. Take, for example, the oh-god-please-don't-kill-me ceremonial greeting Geralt has to offer to the Unseen Elder to survive that meeting – "Eclthi, lautni ama".

'Eclthi' is apparently a "demonstrative (locative)" (’here’, ‘there’, etc). "Lautni" is trickier – it means a freed slave, but may also imply a familial relationship or a client of sorts, while the root “lautn” apparently designates simply “possession.” House slaves in the ancient world were often considered part of the family, and freed slaves were an important class in many ancient cultures, who often maintained relationships with their former masters, so you can see the internal logic, but what sense was the Witcher using it in? It’s hard to know.

"Ama" is possibly worse – most translations seem to have taken it as "to be", but sometimes also “to love”, or even "now" or "meanwhile." Then you hit the question of Etruscan grammar, and I have no idea where I’d even start. So, with a little creativity, you could probably translate that phrase as anything from "take this and consider me a friend" to "meanwhile, this is family" to "a demonstration of love from your slave." I mean, you've got the same general theme going there regardless, but there's a lot of ambiguity in the inflection.

For what it's worth, I feel garasham's translation efforts are easily the most convincing I've seen – they have the above line as “Here I am a slave / a friend / kindred” FWIW. (Mind you, given the wiki doesn't even try to do more than offer you one possible meaning for each word, there's not exactly much competition out there).

So, bringing this all back to that fic and how to say ‘fuck’ in Etruscan...

I've already gone to the web's Etruscan dictionaries once while I was writing Forget-Me-Not, seeking inspiration for a 'real' name for "the Queen of the Night" from the first Witcher game. Neither 'queen' or 'night' got me far, but the Etruscans did apparently have a goddess of the moon called 'Aritimi, Artume or Artames', which worked pretty well. If anything it's almost too close to the better-known Greek goddess Artimis, who was obviously a relative (ancient cultures bleed into each other even when they're not bleeding all over each other, nothing new there), but I'm not going to be picky.

However, being a) a giant nerd, who b) writes a lot of smut, and c) is no more mature deep down inside than the rest of us, I couldn't resist seeing if I could find some slightly more obscene vocabulary. Did the Etruscans have a word for, say, 'fuck'?

Alas, if they did (and I mean, they totally did, c'mon), the web wouldn't tell me about it. Nor could I find much else relating to sex or genitalia (male or female), or even a decent word for 'thrust'.

On the flipside, there were a couple of different terms meaning 'plough'. And anyone who's played – well, any of the games, but especially Witcher 2 – would probably realise exactly why that filled me with so much glee.

Speaking of which, here, have a picture which is in no way related:

The fact that the various Etruscan terms meaning ‘plough’ could also apparently be translated as things like “to worship“ or “to act through movement, including ritual acts,” or that an important mythological figure was “a prophetic child who sprang from a freshly plowed furrow” was in no way discouraging.

The word I ultimately picked was 'esari'. Admittedly, variations on the prefix ‘ar-’/‘ara-’/’aras’ were much more consistently attested to throughout the various online Etruscan dictionaries as ‘terms meaning plow’, but figuring out how to convert an Etruscan prefix into a satisfying word is officially where even my enthusiasm for all this nonsense gives out. Esari was, by comparison, already a much more solid-sounding term, so let’s go with that.

Why go to all this trouble anyway? Well, the honest answer is “entirely for my own amusement”, but the nominal excuse comes right back to “so I could give Regis and Geralt this little exchange during a sex scene.”

"Unless you have any particular objection," said Regis, moving to straddle Geralt's body, "I thought we might engage in some esari... hm, what was the equivalent term in your language again?" The vampire leaned in close to Geralt's ear as he made a show of remembering his answer, "Ah, yes—I thought I'd fuck you."

Never let anyone tell you you never learnt anything from porn!

#The Witcher #Etruscan #vampires #Regis #Emiel Regis #fic #history geekery #also contains a snippet of Geralt x Regis fic #so #you know #be warned

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madhukumarc · 2 years ago

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everything-laito · 4 years ago

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Laito Sakamaki and His Relationships with the Sakamaki Family: an Anthology (more like biggo rant)

DaYUM; I’ve accidentally let these pile up in my ask box, so I will answer all of these in one post… Prepare for a huuuuge rant under the cut! Also thank you so much @hotline-to-hell, you’re so lovely and supportive as usual, and thanks sm for contributing, same goes for you, anons!! Let’s break this up into parts tho… and start with the biggest one yet: Laito and Ayato’s relationship.

I swear this is like an anthology,,,,, biggo rant under the cut!

Laito’s relationships with Ayato

I regularly call Ayato and Laito “double trouble.” This is because they’re usually found as a pair when some ultra-harassing is being planned. Despite Ayato sometimes visibly being uncomfortable as a result of Laito’s antics, he’s the one that gets along with him the most. The reason why Ayato has resentment for Laito seems to be that Laito wouldn’t help Ayato when they were kids; and Laito would be a bystander. Ayato was also a bystander in the Laito situation too. A very heartfelt moment occurs at the end of Ayato and Laito’s VS CD: [9/28/21: UPDATED TRANSLATION; THIS ONE’S MORE CORRECT]

Laito: You see, I often thought about why I was the person I was. Or why I couldn’t be like you or Kanato-kun instead? That’s why I hate you…I loathe how you feign ignorance when you actually know exactly what’s going on. And above all…I’m envious of how you can be so honest and upright about everything. …I know I can never be like that. I’ve been ruined by that woman. I’m not hiding my feelings either. They’ve simply been erased from within me. …Haha. Ayato: I hate you too. You’re never honest…I mean, if only you had asked for my help at some point, I would haveーーI knew you were putting up a tough facade the whole time. …However, as much as I admired you for your strength, it also pissed me off at the same time. I couldn’t forgive you.

(First of all this confirms that Laito didn’t like what Cordelia did to him; it was forced emotion on this end, thus creating a facade. I think I went over this in my Hilde analysis a little bit through the context of Hilde’s situation). Laito feels like he is permanently soiled and cannot move past this situation, and that’s terrible. However I should do a separate analysis on this drama CD. (I was going to put this in another analysis I think but then took it out last minute)

Second of all, I believe that what Ayato means by that Laito’s “not honest” is that he knows Laito has a facade [with updated translation: this is confirmed]. Aka having a facade does not make you honest. I mean, he’s known Laito throughout his whole life; and Ayato is decently observant. He also obviously hangs around with Laito more often than his other brothers, (and vise versa) so it makes sense that Ayato would know something was up. He just has a vendetta against Laito because Laito would avoid conflict [UPDATED:] and the fact that Laito didn’t come to him.

----------------UPDATED ANALYSIS 9/28/21----------------

The fact that Ayato sees Laito being strong is,,,,, so sweet and very accurate. Laito is defnitely strong and Ayato being like “if only you’d ask for my help”––GOD THIS BREAKS MY HEART AAAAA but Laito wasn’t honest with Ayato especially when they were kids because Laito probably didn’t know how to vocalize what was happening between him and Cordelia. And on top of that, there was no emotional stability in the triplet’s lives, so Laito felt like he needed to take it upon himself in order to to try his best to protect Ayato and Kanato. Obviously, this made Ayato feel bad because he wanted Laito to come to him too, and be there for Laito like how Laito was there for him. Sure Laito couldn’t do much when they were children, but he tried his best with what he was able to do. Ayato can’t forgive Laito for doing this to himself and pushing all his emotions down just so he could be there for Ayato and Kanato. It makes sense why Ayato was pissed off by this, yet grateful at the same time.

And Laito being absolutely self aware with his own lack of honesty just,,,, gives me the feels. But Laito calling out Ayato for feigning ignorance also makes sense too. Ayato knew about the whole Cordelia thing with Laito, and yet never reached out with that. I mean, I’m not sure what Ayato could have done at that point since it happened when they were older (at least the first time Cordelia sexually abused him––I know things happened when Laito was a child but I think he was more groomed as a kid in my opinion and from my deductions) and Ayato and Laito were drifting at this point.

Ok now that’s my updated part of this analysis, this was a pretty old one and I just had new thoughts and found a better translation.

---------------------------UPDATE END-------------------

Remember the whole thing I said in Laito and Shin’s VERSUS CD analysis was that Laito hates conflict and runs from his problems. It’s probably a defense mechanism of his but it’s honestly done more harm than solve it. This caused Ayato to kind of be stronger for himself, since he couldn’t get that strength from Laito. So that’s really sad, and answers the question whether or not any of his brothers know about his mask. But I believe it might just be Ayato, and I will get to that in a minute. It also answers Laito and Ayato’s love/hate relationship.

I think that Ayato is more scared of Laito in the sense that he’s concerned about what’s he’s become. Like Ayato is always down to clown with Laito, and then Laito says some really weird shit sometimes that makes Ayato be like “oh god why”. I know I mentioned this but it is something to emphasize. I do think that Ayato knows that Laito is calculating, cunning, and manipulative as all hell. I don’t think he’s scared of him, or else why would he choose to hang out with Laito? Laito has nothing to gain by forcing Ayato to clown with him. Ayato usually doesn’t let Laito mess around with him if Ayato’s already got it going with another person; in this case, Yui. Their interactions within Vandead Carnival and Lunatic Parade is more like “omg Laito don’t embarrass me in front of Yui” (which,,, Laito does, and tells Yui that he’s so superstitious that he sleeps with a belly warmer lol just so Ayato can exchange something embarrassing too). I’d say they have the most “brotherly” relationship out of all the Sakamakis (rivals Subaru’s and Shuu’s relationship but that’s really an unspoken one).

Despite them being closer than the rest, that doesn’t mean they’re the closest pair. Laito still feels the need to prove himself that he doesn’t have his emotional problems in front of Ayato still, which is also probably why it drives Ayato away. Ayato can’t comfort Laito usually considering his facade builds a wall. And it’s hard to get to someone’s heart when it’s reinforced with steel, basically. So yes, he still wears his facade around Ayato; considering it only seems that they hang out when they’re horny and want some fun lol. I haven’t seen another instance where they do, or at least that’s the most common one.

Laito’s relationship with Kanato

I finished Kanato’s HDB route a while back, and I just gotta say,,,, man,,,,, wow,,,,, that was quite the doozy. As for him and Laito? It’s quite hard to tell, but, Laito is still there for Kanato. Sure Laito’s there when Ayato harasses him and calls him “hysteric” but Laito never insults him. There’s even a point where Laito plays a “big brother” role and gives Kanato advice:

Laito: Fufu~ Kanato-kun, shall I give you a little warning? Kanato: I don’t need such a thing. Laito: Don’t say that and just listen~ …If you take your sweet time, she’ll get snatched away from underneath your eyes, you know? Kanato: …

Sure it’s kinda…. morbid advice, but it is advice that helps Kanato regardless. And Kanato takes it! He listened to Laito! It’s obvious that Kanato is really annoyed by Laito (which gives me a reason why he doesn’t know about Laito’s situation with Cordelia on top of Laito’s facade) and doesn’t want anything to do with him (or Ayato, for that matter). I believe he says at one point in his route how he was isolated from the other siblings, mainly due to Cordelia. However, since Kanato listened to Laito despite him saying “I don’t need such a thing” kinda implies some kind of respect for Laito. He might know that Laito is calculating and smart in that manner. But do I think that he caught on to Laito wearing a facade all the time? Nah, he cares about himself too much and also just does his own stuff most of the time.

This quote I’m adding also happens in Kanato’s route; it doesn’t add much but I did laugh a little reading this:

Ayato: Does she like Kanato that much? That’s impossible. She’s heading down a path of despair for sure. Laito: Fufu…That’s something you could say about any one of us though~ Ayato: …Che.

It’s just a well crafted meta joke from Laito; he says it in such a cheerful way but man, that’s sad.

That’s about it for Laito and Kanato; I don’t think Laito says much about Kanato and vise versa. They really stay out of each others’ business, mainly because Kanato isolates himself out of spite, really.

---------------------------------INTERMISSION------------------------------------

Before I move onto the other ones, just a little shoutout to my inspiration for this blog: @/akai-anemone

I read her analyses on Laito about five years ago, and unfortunately, she has stopped. But, she has some really good stuff and I definitely recommend checking it out. Here’s some big bro Laito moments she’s brought up too:

https://akai-anemone.tumblr.com/post/68549708275/heres-one-of-my-favorite-big-bro-laito-moments

https://akai-anemone.tumblr.com/post/68539626117/on-the-subject-of-the-relationship-between-the

https://akai-anemone.tumblr.com/post/65005954447/narihira-ayato-tells-laito-that-hes-building-a

https://akai-anemone.tumblr.com/post/64621970821/big-bro-laito

Please check her out!! She’s so lovely and although she’s not active anymore, I want to pay tribute to her too. I really hope I can be a good successor of her’s for the DL/Laito community.

------------------------------INTERMISSION END---------------------------------

Laito’s relationship with Subaru

Honestly probably one of my favorite Sakamaki brother dynamics aside from Ayato and Laito. If you haven’t heard of the Laito vs Subaru, here it is for your listening pleasure (LINK). It’s probably one of my favorite fanservicey CDs, because Laito really just is getting the most out of the situation.

Laito and Subaru are quite the dynamic duo. Subaru doesn’t have an affinity for Laito and man, it shows. He’s always telling Laito to shut up, and similarly to his other brothers, he’s always like “wtf” when Laito says something wack. Laito’s absolutely entertained by this though, and since he’s older than Subaru, he definitely uses it to his advantage to mess with him. Since Subaru’s your “tsundere” part of the group (more than Ayato), and easily read more than Ayato is, Laito has so much fun teasing him and calling him out in front of Yui. Here’s one of my favorite interactions from the CD:

L: Ehe~.. I’ll be taking those words as a compliment. Your jealousy is really a pleasant thing to me, ahaha. S: Ah?! JEALOUSY?! L: Oh? Aren’t you jealous? Extremely? Ufu, the reason Subaru-kun is so annoyed is that.. S: Fuck that! There’s no way it’s that! Don’t make me laugh!! It’s not like I… to this girl… L: Mm, tsk tsk tsk. Subaru-kun isn’t very honest, is he. What I said is the truth. You’re– S: SHUT UP! *breaks something* L: Woah! Geez… when I hit the nail on the head every time I’d like it if you didn’t break the things around us. Look, bitch-chan is also scared, isn’t she? Am I right?

Laito, the perceptive motherfucker (,,,,dark joke im sorry), is back at it again, but terrorizing Subaru (and indirectly terrorizing the infrastructure of the house lol). I think it’s another brotherly moment of him to kind of make Subaru realize his feelings too. I don’t know too much about Subaru (although his MB route made me cry lol) but I do know that he’s just a fiercely independent guy that also kinda self isolated himself similarly to Kanato; but doesn’t nearly have as much built up hatred to his siblings.

Here’s some more Laito messing with Subaru quotes from that CD. Mainly because I find it so entertaining.

L: Uwa.. Subaru-kun is scary~ dragging along a senseless girl by her hair. S: SHUT UP PERVERT!.. Right now as you wish.. I’ll make this girl crumble… everything is working out like you desired, right? L: Ufu, really? I did it! In that case, why don’t I stay here and watch your excellent ideas slowly and carefully?

Laito: Fufufu~ You just don’t understand the depths of love yet, Subaru-kun~ Laito: …Well then, Bitch-chan…Doesn’t seem like anyone will come and save us any time soon, so let’s have lots and lots more fun, okay? Haahn…Mm… Subaru: The fuck’s the ‘depths of love’!? I don’t care if I don’t understand that crap. I’ll love you…in my own way. So brace yourself, okay? …Mmh!

That’s so damn rich coming from Laito. This is just Laito’s version of a “haha virgin” joke (which I don’t think Subaru is lol). However, it seems that Laito considers Subaru “pure,” similar in Ayato’s fashion. Maybe this statement is a little jealous quip at that. Who knows!

Laito’s relationship with Reiji

Laito and Reiji…. Man, this is an entertaining relationship. They’re seemingly opposites: agent of chaos and agent of order. (However, Subaru is more physically chaotic lol). Although Laito does kind of fill the “big bro” position for most of his brothers, Reiji is definitely more of a “parental” figure. Laito knows how to get under Reiji’s skin and just does it for fun. I just find it really entertaining. Sure I’m not the biggest Reiji fan like I’ve said before, but wow I love their interactions. Reiji can be a buzzkill for Laito, which certainly annoys him as well. Their relationships in the tokuten CDs are my favorite; especially when Kou and Laito pester Reiji to make them food. However, Reiji treats Laito like a nuisance as well, especially during his MB out when a desperate Laito comes to Reiji begging for help. Reiji’s extremely blunt in that situation and basically is like “why don’t you just kill her” and doesn’t attempt to comfort Laito when he’s crying when Yui kills herself in MB. I feel like Reiji is a nice foil for Laito’s character in their interactions, especially during that scene:

Reiji: Oh… …Are you crying? Laito: Eh, this… …is what you call tears? Reiji: The water that flows from the eyes are tears. Laito: Why am I crying for? Reiji: … … Are you happy or sad, it can be either. Laito: I’m… … Reiji: Well, please leave quickly and carry the corpse out with you. Laito: It’s cold… …I’m shedding so many tears, why are they coming out so fast… … Reiji: … … It would be the result of which you invited.

They don’t interact often, and when they do, it’s either entertaining or meaningful, it seems. At least in my opinion.

Laito’s relationship with Shuu

Now this one’s interesting. Exaggerated “pervert” vs actual pervert. Putting it out there, I don’t think Shuu’s a closet pervert as most say; he’s just quiet in general, but his perverse remarks are incredibly obvious. These two don’t interact often (although Shuu interacts with his brothers less than Kanato) but WOW can they freaking duet!! I love their song Camouflage. But, that aside, their reactions are limited to Shuu making quips at Laito; either telling him to shut up or like “wtf Laito” (similarly to his other brothers). My favorite scene of them both is when Shuu calls Laito a “wannabe pervert”.

Laito: Haha. Shu, isn’t it unusual for you to feel uneasy? Are you jealous? Fufu… … Shu: Bothersome… …I’m in a bad mood now. My music is spoiled because of your useless chattering. … … As for the concept of jealousy, it’s impossible for me to express… …you imitated pervert. Laito: … … Do you want to be killed? Shu: Hmph… …whatever you like?

This sets Laito off a bit, and Shuu definitely knows what he’s doing. Laito’s even taken aback, given his pause and the lack of a retort. It’s uncertain to see if Shuu actually knows what’s up with Laito or not, but I do think that Shuu is more perceptive than what he lets on. This also just reinforces the fact that Laito wants to meticulously build his character/facade as the perverted type, and doesn’t want it to be broken down; which is why he gets mad at Shuu.

Well that’s all of Laito’s relationships with his brothers! Now onto the bigger picture.

Laito’s overall relationship with the Sakamakis and their implications + conclusions

This one’s gonna be a bit all over the place, so I apologize for that.

Have you ever noticed that Laito doesn’t resort to name calling like the rest of his brothers? Even Reiji, the more “””refined””” brother calls Shuu a good for nothing. He only resorts to name-calling women. This, I find very intriguing. He usually has more indirect comments at his brothers, but they’re not nearly as malicious as the others. Or they’re insightful or just him teasing them; I don’t believe he has malicious intent towards his brothers like he says he does. Unless if he says he does; Laito doesn’t get actually LEGIT mad that easily.

Also, yes, Laito does keep his mask on around his siblings. He’s just not as pervy when Yui’s not there because,,,, Yui’s not there, or if she’s not the topic of the conversation (or any woman for that matter), he has no reason to be pervy unless if something comes up. He always feels the need to be pervy though; Shuu straight up calls him a “wannabe pervert,” since Laito heavily exerts it to the point where it’s probably a joke.

However, there’s something that’s been bothering me. I did mention it in this (https://everything-laito.tumblr.com/post/624910343406256128/impromptu-analysis-more-of-this-coming-soon) analysis, but TLDR; Nobody interacts with you or Laito in Laito’s HDB route. I could even say the same with his MB route, but that highlights his rivalry with Kou. In HDB, there is rarely any interaction with other brothers or even implied interaction with them. Subaru doesn’t even show up in the entirety of Laito’s route from what I can remember. In Kanato’s route, (which Kanato is the most overtly possessive/yandere of them all imo) Laito and Ayato still interact with him when you’re around, or even when he’s not around. But nobody dares to interact with you in Laito’s route much when you’re alone. Its bone chilling isolation. If there is interaction with the other brothers, it’s very limited and very quick. They’re very careful about what they say to you, when Laito’s around or not. They know he’s always watching, and we know he’s always watching.

But, Kanato’s the one that spits out death threats all the time and is definitely like “Yui’s mine” in his route. But, it seems that he’s not much of a threat to the other brothers; and like I mentioned, Laito even gives him advice, which he listens to. However, nobody dares to get under Laito’s radar, because it seems that he can turn into an actual threat to the others. I mean, Laito probably has killed as many people as Kanato, if not more. Laito is no stranger to killing in cold blood. He’s killed so many suitors under Cordelia. This is beyond the other brothers being disgusted with Laito’s actions. This is the other brothers not wanting to mess with Pandora’s Box.

Sure, we know that Laito dislikes outward violence, but he’s a master at manipulation and gaslighting, and doing stuff sneakily. They don’t know what to expect because of his mask being on at all times; they can’t get an efficient read on him, and even if they were “plotting” something against him or wanting to take Yui, they couldn’t. He has eyes everywhere. So instead, the other brothers avoid him in the sacrificial bride situation. He’s a force to be reckoned with, and they seem to know that he’s smarter than what he lets on.

Well, if you’re still here, thanks for reading as always! So sorry this has been so delayed! (And Hotline, I will get to your other part of your ask in another post, I didn’t forget about it!!)

Hope you all are doing well!

-Corn

#Laito sakamaki #sakamaki laito #analysis #dl #dialovers #dialover #diabolik lovers #raito sakamaki #sakamaki raito #hotline-to-hell #anonymous #anon

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konglindorm · 4 years ago

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The Missing Half

So if you’ve been around for a while, you’ve probably heard me talking about Prince Lindworm, and not just recently, as I prepare to release my book. I’ve been obsessed with this story for a long time, I’ve written several blog posts and essays about it, and it’s even the source of my username on many websites—konglindorm.

But today, I’m going to talk about something new: the second half of the story.

I honestly didn’t know until very recently that this story did not end with the lindworm being transformed and everyone living happily ever after. I’ve been working for a long time on my own translation of the story, from a 100+ year old Danish book, and last month I finally reached the end of it.

And then saw that there were three more pages.

Now, I’m preparing to publish my first novel, and I don’t have the time or the energy to translate another three pages. But I did a quick read-through, enough to get the basic idea, and I did some more research. Then I ran it through Google translate, which produced something that’s…pretty rough, but it’s useful to having something in English to glance back at as I work on this post.

So it’s not relevant to my retelling at all, and it’s actually a really common fairy tale type that I’ve encountered many times before, but I’m really excited about this. Quick recap, before we start: Barren queen wants baby. Queen is instructed to eat one flower if she wants a son, another if she wants a daughter, but not, under any circumstances, both. Queen eats both. Queen gives birth to lindworm. Lindworm eventually demands bride. Eats her. Demands second bride. Eats her. Demands third bride, third bride does some really weird stuff that somehow turns him into a human. Great rejoicing, etc., etc.

Now on to part two. I’m gonna be honest; some really weird stuff happens here. Which shouldn’t be surprising, coming from the same fairy tale that brought us “To turn a snake into a man, make him molt ten times, dip some whips in lye, whip him a bunch, and dunk him in a tub of milk.” My understanding of the story is hindered somewhat by lack of a complete and accurate English translation, but it looks like at some point our girl helps break the spells on two other enchanted princes by feeding them her breast milk? It’s, um. It’s something, and something I’ll need to fully translate eventually to understand better. I think I’m missing a fair amount of context and nuance.

(Between the two halves, I ‘m thinking I need to do a lot of research on the healing properties of milk in folklore. Is that a thing? Does it come up elsewhere? This story is Danish; anyone from Denmark know if there’s some cultural element to this or something?)

But for now we’re going to focus on the main thing, the basic plot of the second half.

Our girl gets pregnant. Lindworm and his dad go off to war, leaving pregnant girl with Lindworm’s mother the queen. Now, normally, that would cause some trouble in the fairy tale world, because usually, old queens are not fond of their daughters-in-law, and often try to frame them for horrible crimes.

But not our queen. She gave birth to a monster. Her only heir was a dragon, and he was eating people. Then our girl came along and turned him into an upstanding member of human society. This queen loves her daughter-in-law. So we need a different bad guy.

Our girl gives birth to twins. She sends a letter to the lindworm, letting him know. Normally, in this story type, the queen swaps it out with a letter saying she gave birth to something else, but not our queen, so that role is filled by the Red Knight. No information on who this dude is, what he has against our characters, or why it’s his job to run letters back and forth between the palace and the war zone.

He gets rid of the letter saying our girl had twins, replaces it with a letter saying she had puppies. Lindworm gets the letter, thinks, “well, that’s super weird, but who am I to judge, my mom didn’t give birth to a human either.” Sends back a letter saying, “Okay, we’ll sort that all out when I get home.”

Red Knight was apparently hoping for a less go-with-the-flow type answer, because he replaces that letter with one telling the queen to set our girl and her babies on fire.

The queen gets the letter, and I guess she’s probably thinking that maybe the transformation didn’t quite work after all, maybe her son still has some monster in him, because what the heck, dude? I’m not burning my grandbabies.

So she doesn’t know when the lindworm is coming home, and she’s afraid of what he’ll do to his family when he does; she sets our girl up with some supplies and sends her and the babies out into the world where they’ll be safe.

(This is when she turns a couple birds into princes by nursing them, and apparently hangs out with them in their palace for quite some time. Not clear on the nature of their relationships, a little concerned, will update you guys someday when I’ve sorted it all out; if anyone’s read this entire story in Danish and fully understands it, or if you’ve encountered a complete English translation, please do let me know!)

Lindworm comes home, looking for his wife. Queen is pissed at her son. Son isn’t sure what she’s so upset about; he thought he was pretty chill about the whole gave-birth-to-puppies thing. Queen isn’t sure what puppies have to do with anything, but setting your family on fire is in no way chill. They argue for a while, eventually get to the bottom of things, Red Knight is in big, big trouble. Lindworm goes looking for his wife and kids. Eventually finds them hanging out with these two other princes.

This is where Google translate really breaks down on me, and things just make less and less sense, and I can’t go down to the source material with my Danish-English dictionary and sort it out right now; I’m on a bit of a tight schedule. But it’s looking like the Lindworm and the two other princes sort of fight over our girl, all three of them drink her milk (it seems like it’s been long enough that she shouldn’t be producing milk anymore; it also seems like these two dudes are drinking her milk regularly? I am so concerned about so many things.)

Somehow the conflict is resolved, the other two princes marry other princesses, and our girl and the twins go home with the lindworm.

Now, there’s a lot to unpack here, obviously, and a lot of it is going to have to wait until another time. It is nice to know that King Lindorm is consistently just absolutely bizarre through both halves.

But what I really, really like about the second half is that some new dude is our bad guy, and the queen is fully and firmly on our heroine’s side.

Before I made any effort at even the crappiest translation of the second half, I did some research on what it was about. And I was so concerned about it as soon as I found out what story type it was, because some sort of mother figure is almost always the bad guy. (Shout out to the Grimms for not doing that in “The Girl Without Hands,” too.) And it just seemed really awful that the queen would turn around and try to sabotage our girl after she fixed the lindworm. So I was really relieved to find the Red Knight in my first quick skim-through.

I’m just really impressed with Grundtvig, Adjunct Levisen, and Maren Mathisdatter for deviating from the norm here.

(Another notable deviation, aside from “The Girl Without Hands,” listed above, is the French fairy tale “Bearskin,” by Marie-Madeleine de Lubert; I doubt it’s a coincidence that women were definitely involved in the telling/recording of 2 of these 3 stories where people are not out to get their daughters-in-law.)

Also, like. Can we just take a moment to appreciate the incredible stupidity of the Red Knight? The lindworm was born as a giant snake monster, and for some reason Red thinks he’ll be shocked and horrified that his children were born as puppies? The lindworm is pretty much the only person in the world who has no right to be upset by that. He, of all people, should know that these things just happen sometimes, and they’re totally fixable, though not, perhaps, without bloodshed.

(Also, also. As I said above, I don’t know who the Red Knight is or what he has against our characters. It’s possible that the text does tell us and it just didn’t come across in my incredibly quick and crappy translation. But my theory is that he’s somehow connected to one of our two dead and eaten princesses. In which case he’s entitled to be upset, even if he’s handling it poorly.)

Preorder my book here!

#lindworm #prince lindworm #king lindworm #king lindorm #kong lindorm #folklore #fairy tales #svend grundtvig

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ashlyluvsyellow · 4 years ago

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Bujo Tour So Far

I have been bullet journaling for years and I am going to do a simple photo dump and explanation for the pages that I have been using this year, as well as pages I have not finished.

My Future Log

I don't actually start with the index, that goes on the last page of my journal and I work my way inside so that all of my regular pages meets the index page when the journal is full.

My future log has never needed to be more then a page or two. I don't have many events and go to work at the same time daily.

Most events I know about and simply put in my phone.

It's setup with the months at the top and I go and color code based on the month. Each month gets a different color based on events but I don't color it in until I have at least two or more events.

My March calendar!

I obviously did not meet my goals for that month by posting reviews. I did however finish four books that month.

Again, I don't list out the calendar I simply do the numbers with the days of the week like a chart and write important dates in a list format.

Goals are at the bottom or on the next page.

This is why I use dotted instead of lined for my journal and I definitely don't do blank pages.

Habit and Health Tracker

My habit and health tracker is the most detailed page that I like doing but I fell off the wagon here. I go in usually once a week and color code the different habits.

I will upload some old pictures of my bujo and I will try to upload a colorful one as well in a separate post but the basic gist is that it motivates me to fill it out daily.

I track my dental health, period, journaling habit, headaches, and I am trying to get back into doing yoga three times a week but it's getting difficult.

This is also March so I am going to try and do better in April as well so stay tuned for the April update in May.

Headache Log

I track what causes my headaches. I don't follow up with this one as much but typically it is caused by hunger, like having low sugar and not eating when I am supposed to, or heat.

This has really helped me to avoid headaches as much as possible and now I typically only get them on Saturday or Sunday. Still trying to figure out that trigger but I'm working on it.

I think it's simply me not being as active on the weekends so I am starting to get out of bed at the same time during the week on the weekends as well and when it gets nicer I am going to try and go on morning walks to mitigate the headaches too.

Reading Log

This is my reading log. It's blurry but each column represents different things.

The first is the rating I am going to give the book, next is the title and author. After that each column goes over the date I started the book, finished it, genre, format, and what I did with it afterward.

I use overdrive and the library as much as I can so sometimes books get returned or sometimes I decide to buy a physical copy.

Again, I like to go in and color after gathering up some info and will try to upload some old pictures from my December to February bujo that has been mostly completed.

The last column is whether or not I uploaded a review to my storygraph profile or on the book sellers website, if I purchased it online.

Brain Dumps / Notes

These two pages are definitely what I consider my brain dump pages.

I was doing an A-Z program for stenography in March and I am currently doing another one from the Steno Project now in April to May.

I was taking notes in my bullet journal but decided to switch over to a completely separate notebook for that. Will take photos of that one for another post as well.

I also like to just list out all my ideas and to be honest this is my like third attempt at regularly blogging on the weekends.

I love reading and writing so I wanted to have a blog dedicated to both but I decided to simply have a blog and then publish my writing under a pen name instead.

This blog will be mainly about books, bujo, and lifestyle content so all my writing will go on my website and I self publish under that name.

Index

Last page of all my bullet journals now feature the index. I realized by putting it in front I would worry about running out of pages or having to have a second index.

To solve this I simply placed the index at the end and work it backwards so I never run out of pages and the content kind of meets in the middle.

It's easy to follow and I will be color coding this as well by next month.

#bujo #bookblr #studyblr #bullet journal #bujo spread #mybujo #bujospread

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