#need to be in the middle of themmm

[disconnectedkid]

Hrhrhrhrhr I can’t stop thinking about themmm

ok so. I have a lot of ideas for randy x god (homelessshipping? I need a name)

but anyways I see them meeting on the street. Pretty soon after randy lost his job so. He’s struggling. God is drunk as usual and sees randy and is just like. “Huh. He’s just like me frfr.” And so he invites randy to go drink with him. Randy (having nothing to lose) agrees. They go out and one of two things happen:

either A: god gets more drunk. Maybe randy is more cautious around alcohol or some shit idk, but he gets fucking wasted and starts hitting on randy, who is just flustered as hell, and confused cuz like. Thats GOD. FLIRTING WITH HIM. Eventually god like fucking passes out, and randy, not knowing where the fuck god stays and not wanting to leave him on the street, decides to take him back to his dumpster

or B: Randy gets more drunk. He probably has little to no alcohol tolerance and gets drunk almost immediately. It’s possible that he flirts with god, but he more likely just gets really vulnerable, probably sharing a bunch of stuff about his shitty life, losing his job, bashing his head in, etc. eventually god cuts him off from drinking cause he’s gonna get alcohol poisoning, and takes him back to the dumpster, staying with him cause he doesn’t want to leave this very drunk very vulnerable man alone in the middle of the night.

either way they wake up cuddling and the relationship develops from there idk

[flowerslut]

i saw what you said about writing fluff, and it’s understandable! I do think your hurt-comfort fics are basically fluff compared to roots though 😂 your fic about Alice getting bitten in eclipse is one of my favorites, if you ever write something similar to that again (in regards to the genre) I would love that!

oh man I LOVE me a good hurt-comfort fic 🤩 both writing AND reading themmm 🥰 so I guess it’s not so much that I don’t like to put characters in sweet/loving situations but I want them to fuckin earn their peace. tbh I don’t often (if ever) write unhappy endings—with an exception here and there—but I sure do love to make jalice earn their happy ending. they need to put! in! the! work!! 👏🏻

but yeah, compared to roots, a lot of my fic could be considered relatively fluffy 💀 if I could make a scale of “tooth-rotting fluff” to “I need therapy now. shannon. what the fuck?” i’d put PDA and best behavior on one end of the spectrum and roots on the far opposite end. the hunted would go in the middle maybe? who knows maybe i’ll chuck them on a scale one day

[avatar-mikazuki]

ALRIGHT OKAY SO;

Firstly I played it solely for the rhythm game part as I mentioned, it has vocaloid songs and some commissioned songs that are made just for the game! I found so many songs I didn't know about before in this game and even more artists who create these songs. I've also come to love the voice actors in the game because their covers of the songs are amazing as well! My playlist now consists mainly of pjsk songs because of this but I'm not complaining

NOW LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT ALL MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS OMGGGG (take note that all of the characters are actually connected in one way or another)

Let's start with my main and most favorite boy; Rui Kamishiro(the guy in my icon rn) He's in the group named Wonderlands x Showtime! and GODS what is up with me and purple haired dudes—He is their stage director and has a lot of extreme ideas for his shows since he can create robots that help him and because of that he has a very wide imagination, he used to make his own shows in a very *ahem* not so legal way (he trespasses lol) and he's a social outcast at his school(specifically in his theater club, but then spreads to the whole school) because of his dangerous ideas. Until he meets the rest of his group(Tsukasa who is egotistical but still cares for those around him, and will literally take anything Rui throws at him, Emu who's all fun and bubbly and joy and just has an absolute fun time even if it's supposedly 'dangerous', and his childhood friend Nene who cares for him and his ideas and genuinely loves theater and shows like him.) and he really REALLY cares for them. Like one time his machine accidentally hurt Tsukasa and he was DISTRESSED LIKE AHSHENMW and they all worked it out in the end and they really just!! Make him so happy that they genuinely listen and want to make his crazy ideas work. He just genuinely wanted a place to fit in and HE FOUND IT WITH THEM‼️He feels so comfortable around them. He makes sure to be extra careful and even puts emergency/safety precautions in his robots to make sure no one gets hurt and he's just so smdmdm I can't I will explode lovingly

(This isn't official art I think, but look at themmm🥺 also text behind them is WONDERHOY!! I love them sm sbdjne sobs)

THEN HONAMI I cannot explain well but she's so?? Understandable. So she's in a band group named Leo/need, and in their story there are 4 girls who are childhood friends but slowly grow apart (Saki is their keyboardist, who is Tsukasa's little sister, and had to be confined due to her sickly body. Shiho is their bassist, but slowly drifted apart because if I understand correctly her passion for the band was much stronger. Ichika is their guitarist, who wanted to keep them all together but couldn't and since then has felt like her world fell apart. Then Honami is the drummer, but because of her being a friend to everybody, she became a friend to nobody at the same time back when she was in middle school, and at highschool she got scared of losing her friends, of being alone, so she grew apart as well.)

Honami didn't want to lose any more friends, and she thought that by keeping Shiho and Ichika away, her classmates who are her "friends" wouldn't hurt them. Honami's class friends would talk badly about Shiho and she felt so bad. She thought that if she was just friends with one friend group, her other friends wouldn't get hurt. (I SRSLY CANNOT EXPLAIN IT FORGIVE ME, just know that she just came up to the wrong solution but really just didn't want to hurt her friends)

When Saki came back, she got Ichika and Shiho to join back in the band(that's for another story, this is long wjeken) Honami wanted to join, but in fear of her friends getting hurt by her classmates, that she would be forced to pick a side once more, she couldn't. But the three pushed Honami, telling her that it's okay to say her opinion. That she can be HEARD. That they will LISTEN and that they will understand what she wants. And her classmates did. She could finally be free to choose, that they understood that she cared for all of them but had friends that were like family and just ahahaiwkdkdoelw

PLEASE LOOK AT THEMMM I genuinely can't do them justice but you may search their story if you'd like🥺

NEXT NEXT MY BABYYYYY AN

Okay to start, An is in a group called Vivid Bad Squad. At first, she has a friendly rivalry between these 2 guys named Akito and Toya who are known as BAD DOGS but they all have the goal to become the best group that would defeat RAD WEEKEND (an event that took place when they were kids, but inspired them to take the path as rappers/dancers/singers) then An meets Kohane, a precious little girl who has an amazing singing talent and they become partners known as the Vivids. Kohane feels An's passion, and she helps An with her dreams. But Akito felt differently, because An took an amateur as her partner. Of course at first, Kohane was super nervous. In the end though, An helped Kohane and both guided each other and helped one another grow and proved Akito wrong in the process. An actually thinks Kohane is so talented, and she looks up to her even though it's only been a short time since they've worked together. And Kohane to An, same thing. They look up to each other, and that's why they work so well together!!! Not sure who suggested it anymore but one of them suggest that they(Akito, Toya, An & Kohane) form a group and they all agree, then Vivid Bad Squad is born!

An is pretty insecure actually, she thinks that her group mates are all so talented and that she's falling behind. Kohane tells her otherwise, and always reassures her because she looks up to them as well. It's why I ship them tbh they're just perfect together, I also ship Akito and Toya because they make each other stable as well and help each other with problems like wksmdmd

Boyfriends and girlfriends💜

Then we have Haruka!

I'm actually not the biggest fan of MORE MORE JUMP! But they're an idol group consisting of 3 idols who lost their dream, and 1 who aspires and dreams to be an idol. (Minori is super fun and bubbly, she's actually pretty similar to her friend Kohane other than the fact that she's not as shy. Shizuku is an idol who is the one considered to be the most beautiful of their group, and she's a very doting older sister that Shiho finds a bit annoying lol. Airi, who is both in the idol and entertainment industry! Though the entertainment part wasn't exactly what she wanted and was forced into it, but she's great at it! :'D and of course Haruka! She's the most popular in the group, and the one who got Minori into the idol business in the first place.)

Haruka left the idol industry because one of her friends in her group lost the chance to become an idol, and she blamed herself for it. It tormented her until she just left. She went back to school, but felt so out of place since she was still treated like an idol. Minori on the other hand, while she is her fan, she just wanted to be friends with her as she looked up to Haruka. Haruka felt inspired by how Minori worked so hard to become an idol, even after failing to get into an agency multiple times. Airi and Shizuku just became sort of "idol tutors" for Minori in the main story, but it also shows their experiences. Like how Airi left her agency after being told that she would be moving to pure entertainment when she wanted to be an idol, and how Shizuku was treated badly in her group because her agency kept focusing on her and giving her more projects and things to do while the other members in her group basically get ignored. Minori was the groups' hope, she shone very brightly in their eyes and they created the group now known as MORE MORE JUMP! In the end, they just become idols through yt lol.

The event stories even expand on how they grow, they give them more background, and its just more character development and you see their depth. While not my favorite group, I enjoy seeing their stories and their development together as a whole :D

LASTLY BUT NOT THE LEAST, MIZUKIIII

Okay so basically their group consists of 4 people who met on Discord(called Nightcord in game) and they're called Nightcord at 25:00(because they all meet and make music at 1am) but they all have their own mental health problems, especially Mafuyu. (Mafuyu is extremely depressed, she's lost herself and doesn't know why she exists anymore because everything she's ever wanted wasn't actually what she wanted, but what her parents did for her. Kanade composes because it was her father's wish for her. To bring warmth to people, so she tries so hard to help Mafuyu through composing songs, just to bring her emotions back and have her feel warmth. Fun fact; Mafuyu smiles a lot at school, but Emu is terrified of her because she can sense that her smiles have never been real. Then Ena just feels like she's not enough, she creates art but always feels like it's never good enough and tends to compare herself to Mafuyu, who can basically do everything she thinks she 'can't'. But it may be due to the fact that her parents neglect her and her little brother Akito. Now for Mizuki! She's s sort of an outcast at school, because she just tends to stand out from others. The only person who understood her was Rui, her friend from middle school, who was also an outcast like her.)

Mizuki honestly doesn't play as big of a role in the main story, but when you read the event stories, you see more of her and how she grows. She feels alone for most of the time, but ever since she met her Nightcord friends (Ena, Mafuyu, Kanade) she felt like she has a place that she's comfortable in.

I love this game so much, even after just playing it for less than a year. (Can't believe I've only been playing since last year of August 25?? Like damn) you HAVE to try it. The characters, their depth, IT'S JUST INSANE. You don't have to of course hwkendn but if you, install the global ver. and we can play together! :D

Oh god this ended up being so long I'm sorry—also just turned into me rambling on about my faves🥹

SOOOOOOOOO MANY NAMES! WOWWW

Ok, so this sounds awesome because all these characters tie in together and have a purpose, not to mention so much depth?? And if it has music, I'm so down to get into that, too. As for installing the global version, let's see if I have enough storage -

Also also I don't mind it being so long! I'm listening 👀

And damn yeah since August 25th of last year, you're coming up on a year soon!! I don't think I've played any game that much- other than obey me, tho I'm falling out of it 😭 too much work to keep up with it, really.

Mizuki kinda sounds like my user name without the a 💀 and the other k-

Kohane I read as cocaine for a sec no lie 😭

The fact that rhe players Sekai is the game world is so clever!!

Honestly this game looks like its got so much to it I can't wait to play :3

I'm also glad you've got some new stuff to get into!!

[saltedsolenoid]

then who is your favorite in not rodneyposting?

ohoho! sumi, so glad you asked!!

I actually think I have two favorites: Bianza Sonje and Neptune Liya

Bianza Sonje is one of the main characters from the first book, though she plays a pretty influential role in the second, too. She's introduced as a eggheaded and uptight 14 year old with a special affinity for books and plants. She has a strong belief in what she believes to be the natural law of life: that adults are always right, and it's important to trust what books and older people say all the time. This leads to her acting somewhat like a bossy, self-righteous know-it-all to her twin sister, Eira Sonje, and Eira's best friend, Falsie. Shout-out to both of them but they're not the focus here. Objectively, Bianza is a bossy know-it-all, which ends up driving everyone close to her away, and actually ends in Falsie's death? Cool stuff. Eventually, after realizing that maybe she shouldn't trust everything she's told and she's being horribly manipulated by both her mom and Marru Kausen, the savior of the last generation (BOOOOO I HATE THEMMM), she breaks free from her ideals a bit and starts doing things for herself and trusting others more for their own thoughts and opinions. Throughout her entire character arc, she's a complete anxious mess who enjoys reading and learning about plants and history. I would get into the rest of her life but then we'd be here for a while, so that's just what happens with her character for the first book- and even then it has a few more turns.

Neptune Liya is the Seer of the second and third books (more on that later), and what's perceived as a pretty sociable person. They're first introduced as a bubbly and kind 18 year old, literally dragging one of the other main characters in from pouring rain in the middle of the night. It's revealed fairly quickly though that they have ulterior motives, only bringing in that other main character because Sylvan Valencia, the secret fourth main character, told them to. ...but they're actually putting on a double-front. They do truly care about their friends, both this Sylvan character and the Rain Character I Mentioned Earlier, but are slowly working to get rid of them both because

oh god i need to explain the entire plot of not rodneyposting for their character to make sense to you. um. Um. I am Not doing that there is too much

Anyways the third book takes place about 17 years later and is literally what I like to call "Neptune Going Through Their Dilf Arc." that's all you need to know about them. thanks for coming

also here's a pixel headshot i did of neptune once. i would share one of bianza but i don't like any art i've posted of her tbh

[withleeknow]

GIRL THE WAY I WAS ABOUT TO SEND YOU A MESSAGE WHEN SKZ DROPPED NEW PHOTOS TODAY~

HYUNHO??!! I NEED THAT ON MY WALL STAT. I hate seeing new content in the middle of my work day like how does one focus WITH ALLOFTHATTT you're so right - ate's concept is truly 5-star's mature brother and I'm not ready to meet him tbh the teasers are enough

ohh how exciting you're headed to new york!! (that's such a bucket list destination :')) 🌸🎀 will it be your first time in the US? also I swear having trips booked makes for great long-dreaded-hours-of-work motivation take me w/ you away from this dull cloudy country tysm 🫡

also we've been blessed w/ the most unexpected, tantalising, phone-dropping crumb: https://tinyurl.com/yxyth5hm 🌰🐈‍⬛ THE WORLDS HAVE COLLIDED OUR ROCKSTARS ARE ROCKSTAR-ING I'm 100% taking this as a good omen into the week ♡

one of the most torturous things about living in europe is that content always drops at the ass crack of dawn or when i'm stuck at the office! i can't believe hyunho hyunhoed like that, they might as well just slap me in the face while they're at it. one of the only two pics with the red lights and the smoke, like are you fucking kidding me 😭

it will be my first time in the US! i've been yearning for new york for so long that this just feels surreal to me. i teared up at lunch today thinking about it lol. and i'll be meeting my tumblr friends, which only makes it 10x more exciting !! this is definitely giving me stuff to do at the office bc i will for sure spend all my working hours planning this trip lolll. come with me i'll put you in my suitcase and we can go on adventures in nyc <3 also fingers crossed that i'll get to go to london next year hehehhe

oh my god LOOK AT THEMMM. i think this is one of the best things i'll see all week (month). my boisssssssss 🥺 i didn't know i needed that. i've never expected this duo but this made me so happy, thank you onigiri :((( also, a little something for you that i saw during my scrolling yesterday hehehe

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

I mean yeah I don't really blame y'all xdd

It sucks but- yeah some real family drama xD

Yeah but like 😭 we were ignoring it for a whole xd? XD

I mean not ignoring it but you know lol

Is it a fight xD

Ahh okay

SLFKGHKDGS a closet lol

Don't put him back in there xD

SLFKGHDKS LOL SEE XD

"That's what started this whole mess xD"

Mateo?? Like I mean are we suggesting him?

Okay probably not XD

Owen maybe LOL?

I know we already talked about not getting in the middle of the in laws but XDD

Ope hey lady

Is she gonna lock the baby in the car?

Ope nope o.o

Nahhh girl don't turn your back 😬

UHH OHHHH

OH NO 😬😭

NOO her baby DD:

That must be such an awful feeling

Hi Grace :))!!

Oh no D:

Oh hey O'Brien!

Imagine if TK got him to be the go between xD I know he almost definitely wouldn't but it would be hilarious

Ohhh nooo 😬🥺

This just ain't good xdd

Slow him down how though?

Hi Owen :DD!

HOW IS THAT SLOWING HIM DOWN AND NOT STOPPING HIM ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

Ohh okay so he's turning okay

OHH boxing him in!!!

Okay slay :DD

Hmm idk he looks like he's about to do something reckless 😬😬

UH OH

OH MY GOSH

OH N O O.O

Oh no no no no NO crap DD:

Who cares about him I care about THE BABY

Okay phew they caught him though :D

Hi Tommy :))!

Come on come on 😭😭 DD:

Owennn hurry 😭😭

P H E W :'DD

But ohhh noo 😭😭

C'mon c'mon come on girl 😭😭

Pleeease bestie :'((( 😭💔❤️

Y E S P H E W :'DDDD SHE'S OKAY 😭🥰��

Phew :'DD

She's okay 🥰🥰🥰

Oh no D:

I don't like the sound of that :((

It's bad news isn't it 😭😭

Oh no

Oh NOOO

Wyatt 😭😭😭😭🤔

I'm so sorry honey DD':

Well yeah that's not 100% :'))

But still realistically 😭😭

AUGH Judd 😭😭😭💔💔💔

But Judd he can 😭 I know he seems tiny and that sucks but it's something he CAN do

Y'all the acting I cannot <333

😭😭😭😭😭💔💔❤️❤️❤️ themmm :'))

Ope hey

Nahh TK lied to you xD

LOL YEP

Hey Andrea xDD :)

Yupppp more confirmation lol

Aww you guys <333

I mean the APD has blood on its hands too but I see your point xD

Oh dang o.o

Nah Carlos I don't think she's proving your point xD

:'OO wow

That is amazing :'))

Of course Gabriel doesn't talk about it :'))) 🥰❤️

Awww y'all 😭😭😭

I think you need to talk to him xdd

[straighttxhell]

I went shopping yesterday and look at these heelsssss i need them, ive wanted them for YEARS, like literally for years, the first time I saw them was in middle school, and I just need themmm but theyre so expensive

also can you guess why ive never bought them?? cause i could save up the money ok that isnt really a problem, like yes they are expensive but its just a few months of not spending shit to afford them but do you knoW WHYY

because i cant choose a color

[foxie-roxie]

why rayllum is a MASTERPIECE part 3

*RUBS MY CLAWS TOGETHER* IT IS SEASON 3 TIME BITCHES AND H O L Y S H I T I LOVE THIS SEASON SO MUCH

i even rewatched it for this!

this time i’ll try to have SOME order, and go by episode. this will however still include unintelligible screaming

1. DAMN THESE FUCKERS BE PINING MORE THAN A PINE TREE FOREST!

first off, affectionate eye rolling, nose boop, and head bonk is the best thing.

second, IF SOMEONE SAYS THAT DURING WHEN CALLUM WAS HELPING RAYLA PUT ON HIS SCARF AND THEY J STARED AT EACHOTHER FOR A BIT BEFORE RAYLA TURNED AWAY THAT HE WAS N O T LOST IN HER EYES? they’re wrong. this is fact now.

third, their teamwork and decision making is excellent. they agree to try and sneak past sol regem, and when that fails try talking to him and then decide to simply trick his senses with the scarf. and instead of rayla shooting down callum’s “smelltriloquism” idea, she simply adds onto it! LOVE HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS

“i think it’s good luck!” YES IT IS RAY THAT’S UR BOYFRIENDS SCARF

also, here you go. you’re welcome.

2. STILL PINING. GOD DAMN.

first, CALLUM BEING SO EXCITED BY ALL THE MAGIC IN XADIA IS S O CUTE! MY SON. this might turn into an overrall review of s3. o well

second. FLUSTERED RAYLA AND FLUSTERED CALLUM. Y E S

third, THE ADORABURR FIELD! their smiles were so fond and soft and A. they make me cry of joy. 

an overall look on it, i like how this episode really shows their feelings clearly. no “will they won’t they”, at least for rayla. it’s clear she has feelings.

3. AH FUCK. ANGST.

first i love how when rayla mentions that she’s excited and happy but also terrified, callum tries to comfort her. good boi. best boi.

second, elf callum. i love that scene so much even if the second-hand embarrassment kills me, and rayla is j like “why the fuck do i love you. im gonna kill him.”

third, DANCE! callum not being rude and saying her home is “modest” before rayla explains it’s an illusion, his BLUSH WHEN SHE HELPS HIM, and the softness in general. rayla’s excitement that she’s home and talks abt that she can show callum where she went to school, the best moonberry surprise place, until...

fourth, AH FUCK. A N G S T T I M E. rayla being crest-fallen before callum says that it must’ve been a mistake, and she realizes that ethari would probably understand!

and then CONFIRMED GAYS. YES.

rayla realizing ethari ghosted her too and then callum GOING O F F. he angy and when rayla runs out callum IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWS (like in a later episode) and comforts her again.

when ethari comes down and breaks the spell and says to callum “trees to meet you too” and rayla’s like “don’t encourage him”

also callum trying to get on the shadowpaw and ethari being Concerned is AMAZING. concerned dad content

i’ll talk more about ezran/ruthari/the dark magic trio in a later ted talk

4. H E R E W E G O

first, rayla clearly being sad and callum picking up on that quickly (he even seems to be almost falling on purpose, perhaps to make her smile?) and asking if she’s ok before being shot down by rayla insisting she is fine. GOD DAMN. THAT HURTS.

second, their interaction with nyx is so amazing. rayla being protective of zym and callum being a DORK is awesome, but also their decision making.

after rayla reluctantly decides that they can go see how nyx could get them across the desert so quickly, they see the ambler and then their reasoning is amazing.

“what do you think?”

“the dragon queen is dying.” and then i forget the rest of the exact quote but they give a subtle nod to eachother. they make their decisions TOGETHER. AS A TEAM. AND THAT’S ON HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS X2!

third, callum continuing to gently press for rayla to express her emotions. he doesn’t pressure her, but seems to simply let her know that if she needs to talk (when she insists she’s fine), he is there. 

four, MORE FLUSTERED RAYLLUM. YES. TY NYX but also fuck u for taking zym but also ur hot- A N Y W A Y

five. OOOOOOH. MY FAVORITE SCENE.

rayla’s crying and callum tries to reassure her. nyx is plotting, while rayla runs away and callum follows. Y E S.

rayla talks about how there’s nobody left that cares about her and she lost everything.. and then the SPEECH. i have this speech memorized i’ve watched this scene so many times

"JUST SHUT UP, YOU'RE TALKING CRAZY. JUST, LISTEN TO ME. YOU'RE TOO GOOD TO FEEL THIS BAD ABOUT YOURSELF. I KNOW THAT, AND YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT. YOU HAVE TRUE COURAGE, AND A BIG HEART! I'VE SEEN YOU GET KNOCKED DOWN SO MANY TIMES AND EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. YOU GET UP AGAIN. THAT'S REAL STRENGTH. AND.. AND YOU'RE TEN TIMES FUNNIER THAN ANY HUMAN I KNOW! chuckle SEE? SEE YOU KNOW YOU'RE AMAZING. YOU'RE SMART AND FAST AND BEAUTIFUL. RAYLA YOU'RE THE MOST AMAZING PERSON I'VE EVER MET."

LOVE THEMMM

and then rayla kisses him and that’s all that happened. callum was not a dumbass. right? RIGHT???

5. MY FAVORITE EPISODE!

first, rayla saving callum from the soulfang serpents and callum helping her get up is AMAZING, LOVE THAT.

second, callum tryna get a good position and rayla j saying to hold onto her and callum GETTING FLUSTERED. BOY IS PINING also he didn’t have to hold her that close.

“I DON’T THINK OF HER THAT WAY” “YOU AND I DON’T HAVE THAT YET” LIAR.

three, THEM JUMPING OFF THE AMBLER AND. THAT WHOLE MOMENT? THE ROMANTIC TENSION IS KILLING ME

four. DAMN CALLUM RLLY DO BE HAVING HEART EYES @ RAYLA WHILE SHE KILLS LIKE 80 SOULFANGS HE IS PINING PART 2

five. THE SPEECH. THE SOFTNESS. THE KISSES. GOD DAMN. FAVORITE SCENE OUT OF THE ENTIRETY OF TDP. LOVE THEM.

also here you go again

what can i say except YOU’RE WELCOME

6. ANGST BUT ALSO FLUFF ALSO REUNION

once again won’t b talking abt ezran specifically but there’s some passing mentions of him from now on

first, rayla and callum reaching the stone thunder and callum asking “is it... a statue?” and rayla sadly saying “no. it’s not a statue” A. I CRI.

1.5 ayla and callum best dragon parents

i’ll get to an actual analysis later

second, THIS MOMENT IS UNDERRATED EVEN THO IT’S ONE OF MY FAVS why has nobody mentioned the lil tender moment where ezran is by phoe-phoe and rayla puts her hand on callum’s shoulder AND CALLUM PUTS HIS HAND ON HERS. SO SWEET.

third, OK I’LL STOP MOST OF MY UNINTELLIGIBLE SHRIEKS AND ACTUALLY ANALYZE THIS.

callum is upset because of thunder and rayla sympathizes immediately. this is similar to how callum lets rayla let out her own emotions, and rayla is doing the same. he explains how he feels angry, upset, confused, sad, and rayla quickly empathizes. he keeps on venting, not knowing whether to feel regretful, or glad, and how he’s confused because that’s sarai’s spear. he feels sorry that all this happened, but rayla reassures him that zym and ezran are going to break the cycle! that’s hope! and then they hold hands and i screech

AND THAT’S SO FUCKING HEALTHY AND I LOVE IT. THEY RLLY BREAK ALL BAD HET RELATIONSHIP STEREOTYPES (coughbutistillheadcanonthembothasbiandcallumistransilldieonthishillcough)

7. angst but not rayllum angst so its ok

first, they begin to go up the storm spire and i really love their banter. “and i’m guessing the dragon queen didn’t make her den at a nice, halfway kinda place?” “nope. tiptop!”

cuties.

second, ASSDHFNF THE FACT THEY M O C K THE IDEA OF A FORBIDDEN RELATIONSHIP. THEY’RE IN LOVE AND THE WORLD CAN DEAL WITH IT. LOVE THAT FOR THEM

third, RAYLA CATCHING CALLUM. IT’S. NOT RLLY BIG I JUST LIKE IT AND THINK IT’S CUTE HOW EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS ALSO OUT OF BREATH SHE RAN UP TO CATCH HIM. 

four, AHSDHGDHFG THEY DEADASS FORGOT EZRAN WAS THERE. more flustered rayllum i love that

8. FUCK IT’S RAYLLUM ANGST NOOOO

one, ibis is j a good boi. back to rayla and callum

two, rayla going in to see the dragon queen and when she runs out callum QUICKLY FOLLOWS to see if she’s ok. asks her if she’s ok, and she OPENS UP!! CHARACTER GROWTH BABY!!! and then they hold hands and i once again shriek

three, AH. HELLO ANGST.

before we go to the actual angst, can i say that THE LAUGH AFTER RAYLA SAID “STORM SNEEZE” IS SO CUTE. CALLUMS IN LOVE. MY SON.

oh no.

*bonks rayla on the head* nO SELF SACRIFICING!!

although their fight is super angsty and i hate it, it does provide some conflict and more plot because it gives callum a reason to want to find out the truth about rayla’s parents. and then he does! people argue that this fight was unnecessary or that callum was a jerk, but this was needed i think. he did let his worry become a bit of anger, and that was not a nice move, but he knows he fucked up and fixes it!

and then we get soft rayllum this is fine

9. AND YOU THOUGHT LAST EPISODE WAS BAD N O *CRYING*

there’s not much rayllum featured in this ep, but the amount we do get is 80 PERCENT ANGST AND I WASN’T OK WITH IT

first, the fluff! callum trying to do the wing spell and rayla teasing “did you pull a muscle in the middle of a jumping jack?” is so cute. i LOVE THEM. also they hold hands and i SH RIEK again. 

also soren how dare you interrupt callum he was abt to confess

second, callum when he’s explaining the battle plan and his ZAP HAND. rayla is j watching him like “yep. that is my dork.”

and CALLUM SEEMS SO FOND WHEN JANAI CALLS RAYLA THE LAST DRAGONGUARD. PERHAPS I SOB

skipping forward in time a bit for the angst oh no

third, callum going up to the storm spire after ez encouraging him to go to rayla. love that soft brotherly relationship. and we think “oh, soft rayllum, right?”

NO. VIREN’S UP THERE.

fourth, THEY DIDN’T NEED ME TO BE ROLLING ON THE FLOOR WTF. the fact that rayla’s blade went right in front of callum and he looks up and sees zym in danger, viren is there, and RAYLA is there, p a n i k.

and then rayla jumps and the entire rayllum fandom SC REAMS after callum’s “no!” before she jumps and “no, no, no, RAYLA!”

fifth, CALLUM NO WHY ARE YOU JUMPING TOO- oh wait its ok he did the wings and im still crying fuck

THAT CONFESSION THO- i cri tears of joy now. they’re in love

sixth, I J WANNA KNOW WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT BEFORE EZRAN SHOWED UP. like it’s clear that they’re talking or something, but abt what is the question. also yes they hug and raylas fond

seventh, THEY HOLD HANDS!! soft bbs,,,

AAAND IM DONE! this is. quite long so if you read all of this i hope u have a good day and thnx for listening to me ramble with some coherent thoughts

[irrlicht-writes]

in front of windows

Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

Pairing: Castiel/Dean

Summary: He could still save him. It’s what they did: they fixed things. But they were running out of time. Dean wished they could have more. They were supposed to go on a beach vacation together. Castiel would wear bumblebee-swimshorts and they’d be happy. If they could’ve had more time... maybe he could’ve said it to Castiel’s face then, instead.

A/N: my second coda to yet another episode I have not seen. @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover (I feel so weird tagging people because even when they request it it feels like I’m bothering themmm)

Coda to 15x09 “The Trap”

________________________________

Dean busted through the door, hoping against hope that he wasn’t too late. His breaths came hard and fast and then – he stopped.

Castiel stood in the middle of the room, right in front of the window. He wasn’t facing the door Dean just slammed open and everything was quiet. The room was dark; and Cas obstructed the only light source, illuminating him. That was an angel, right there, amidst the dead, because he killed them all. Dean looked at the ground. Around his feet, there were corpses, slaughtered. It reminded him too much of who he used to be and seeing it now, knowing the cause for it – it hurt.

His friend turned his head to him and Dean still believed he could be saved. Even if he could barely see Castiel in these blue eyes anymore, he still believed the angel could be saved. He had to. Nobody else believed in it anymore and he wasn’t ready to give up.

“Dean”, Castiel said.

He looked around the room and there was no remorse in his voice.

“I believe I got them all. We should leave now.”

Dean couldn’t say anything, and he also couldn’t move when Castiel came his way. That was his friend. These lifeless blue eyes were his friend. It was his fault. Everything was his fault and he didn’t know how to fix it. He lost Castiel more and more every breathing moment and he feared the day nothing would be left of him. His hand was shaking and he was still grabbing the doorknob. He didn’t know what to do.

He knew.

“Dean”, Castiel said again and reached out to his hand, removing it gently from the door. Castiel was still there, in these rare moments. Dean swallowed down, hard, and resisted the urge to hug his friend. He didn’t have the right; he’d never have the right again.

“Are... are you okay?” He asked instead.

Castiel nodded.

“I am now.”

Yes... he’d be fine now, after killing all these people. It didn’t matter if they deserved this. It mattered that there was no remorse in Castiel’s heart after the act. Castiel left the room and Dean, having his head hung low, followed him. There was nothing else to do.

He mourned every moment he never got to have.

~

“Dean.”

He tried so very hard not to listen. He was fixated on this stupid book-page; it didn’t matter if he had no clue what it said. His hands were shaking and he wished he could have a drink. Hell, he wished he could be drunk all the time these days. But he would never forgive himself for that. Being drunk in possibly the last moments he’d ever get? He shouldn’t even be reading this book, but maybe – just maybe – there was a way to fix it in there. Because they would fix this. That’s what they did.

“Dean!”

Sam tore his book away from him and Dean stared at him angrily. He hated Sam. He hated Sam for his level-headedness. Fuck, he hated Castiel for the same reason. He knew both of them were right, but he didn’t want to hear it.

“What?” He barked at Sam.

“Dean... you know it’s what we got to do.”

That motherfucker even did the puppy-eyes. They had worked so many times, Dean couldn’t even count. But not this time. Not about this.

“What, Sam? We fix this, this is what we gotta do! That is not fixing it!”

Sam shook his head.

“Dean, Cas himself said –“

“Well, fucking Cas can go suck my dick then!”

Sam shut up. Dean stood up and stormed away. He was delaying the impossible, he knew that. But what else was he supposed to do? He couldn’t... he just couldn’t.

He threw himself on his bed and curled up on it. The thought alone made him sick. There had to be a way to fix this. They always managed. They always fixed stuff. So why couldn’t they fix Cas? And why was Sam so ready to just... give up? He thought they were friends. They were all supposed to be brothers! You didn’t just give up on family!

“Dean.”

Dean swallowed the lump in his throat and sat up. “Hey, Cas.”

His friend moved quietly, and then sat down next to him. Dean looked over. It was Cas. It’d always be Cas. He could do this. He could save him. It’d all be alright, and then they’d go take that beach vacation. Castiel would wear swim-shorts with bees on them and they’d play ball on the sand together. Yes. That’s what they’d do, once this nightmare was done with.

“I really wanted to kill Sam when I passed him by.”

Dean didn’t know what to say. “You didn’t, though.” It was barely a whisper.

“No. But it’s getting harder to resist.” Castiel turned his head. “It’s also getting harder to resist killing you.”

He reached out and took Dean’s hand. It was nice. Castiel’s hand was warm, and a solid weight. They should’ve held more hands before.

“I think about it a lot. I could take your hand like this and just... break every finger on it. Bend them backwards, just to hear you scream.”

Dean was paralyzed. He knew these thoughts. But Cas was supposed to be stronger than this. Nothing was supposed to touch him. Castiel raised his other hand and put it on Dean’ cheek. That, too, was nice. They should’ve done that more often.

“I also think about pushing my finger into your eye and pop the eyeball out. I think about putting my fingers in your mouth and rip it open, tearing your jaw off. I think about putting my hand in your chest”, his hand left his face and was now rubbing over his chest, “just to tear your heart out. Breaking every rib you have, pierce your lungs and see the terrified look in your eyes.”

Castiel then straddled his lap, looking down at Dean.

“I think about tearing your arms off, to hear you scream. I think about ripping your legs off and tie them together.”

He held Dean’s face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together.

“I want to do all this, and I want Sam to watch. I want to hurt Sam and I want you to watch, powerless to do anything about it. I want to rip and slice and stab and kill everything. I want to hear you scream, I want to end your lives in the most painful way possible. And I can’t...”

His voice broke and he had clenched his eyes shut. Dean could just stare. He understood. He understood exactly how Cas felt. He would fix this.

“I’m gonna fix this, Cas, you just wait and see.”

Castiel shook his head and something akin to a broken sob escaped him.

“Dean, you can’t. And even if it was possible, I don’t have enough time. You know that. Dean, please. Please. I don’t want this. I don’t want this to become a reality, Dean, please...”

Dean hugged his angel. They were shaking. He knew. Of course he knew. Castiel had been so strong resisting for as long as he did.

“Stay with me tonight”, Dean whispered. He needed Cas to be with him until the end. He didn’t know how he’d cope after his friend was gone.

“I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”

Castiel’s eyes were big and blue and there was the angel he’d always known. The one that’d been with him for so long; that has died for him. He could never be afraid of this Castiel.

Dean shook his head. “You won’t, angel. You won’t.”

“Your faith in me is astounding.”

“Cas... you’re the only thing I’ve ever had faith in.”

They huddled together and Dean held tight on that trench coat. He didn’t want to sleep, but Cas would watch over him, one last time. He wished they’d had more time. More time to hurt each other again and again; and find each other again and again.

~

The next morning, Cas was still here, watching Dean. He smiled. “Hey, Cas.”

“Hello, Dean.”

It was the last time he’d hear these words and it hurt. He searched for Cas’ hand and squeezed it. This couldn’t be happening. Surely, Sam would bust in the room any second and proclaim he’d found a cure. But Sam never came. Castiel kept looking at him with these unwavering eyes. He’d miss those most of all. He scooted closer to Cas and hugged him tight – it was weird while they were laying down, but what did it matter? What did anything matter anymore?

“Let’s go.”

Castiel nodded and Dean’s heart broke.

~

Dean couldn’t let go of Cas’ hand. Sam was standing behind them and he was snivelling. Normally, Dean would tease him for that but – not now. It took everything he had not to break down crying. The monster sat right there, as innocent as a table – the Ma’lak Box.

Castiel was oddly composed but then again; Castiel always did what needed to be done. It didn’t mean that Dean could. He was shaking and Castiel squeezed his hand tighter. This wasn’t how it was supposed to end. It was supposed to end with the three of them together. Him, Sam and Cas. Team Free Will.

Sam put a hand on Cas’ shoulder. “Cas, I... I’m going to miss you.” That was all? Castiel turned to Sam and hugged him – Dean hated that he let go of his hand for that.

“I’m going to miss you as well, Sam. I hope you can forgive me one day.”

Sam shook his head: “There’s nothing to forgive, Cas.”

Castiel stepped back and looked at Dean. Dean couldn’t return the look. It meant good-bye, and he’d never be ready for that. Castiel’s hand was soft on his back.

“Dean, you know it must be done.”

He stepped forward to the box and stepped inside. Dean didn’t want to look. He wanted to run and when he came back, he wanted everything to be fine. Cas and Sam would be sitting in the library, talking about ancient texts and chastise him for just going out like that.

Castiel was sitting inside the box now and he looked up at Dean, smiling.

“It’s going to be fine.”

He lay down and looked at them again. Dean took a step and put his hand on the lid. If he closed it, that would be it. Castiel would be gone. His hand was shaking and there were un-spilled tears in his eyes. He couldn’t do it. But he couldn’t let Sam help him. It had to be him. This was his box, his angel and his responsibility.

Castiel smiled with warm eyes. Dean wished for more time. He wished for a sudden cure. Anything. He’d gladly give his own soul to whoever would take it if it meant he wouldn’t have to close the lid.

“Sam. Dean. I love you. I love both of you. And I’m so proud to have known you. I’m so glad our paths have crossed and that I was able to stay with you. I want to thank you. For everything you’ve done and for everything you will still do. I want you to know that I’m forever proud of you. Dean”, his tone was softer now, “please. I want you to remember me as me. But could you... do me one small favour?”

Dean just nodded silently. He couldn’t speak. What was there to say? He wiped the tears out of his eyes because this was the last time he’d be able to see Cas. He was smiling.

“Please, Dean, I... I want to see your smile, just one last time. Can you do this for me?”

How could he deny that wish?

So he smiled. Not his cocky, charming grin, no. Castiel wouldn’t want that. Dean couldn’t stop the tears, but he smiled. Castiel smiled back and he was shining. Dean closed the lid and he kept smiling and the very last moment.

He locked the lid and then he broke down.

He didn’t wail. He just cried.

At some point, he told Sam to leave him alone.

Castiel was gone.

Castiel was gone forever.

He wished he wasn’t so much of a fool.

 “I love you, Cas.”

[willowser]

https://aurabirds.tumblr.com/post/682800017063411712/bad-dreams-dont-make-reality-something OOOOOOOO I NEED u to see themmm god 😭😭😭

i want you to know how much this influenced the next chapter of ptmy bc ajfbsjeja i feel like i've been sleeping on their relationship honestly, like it's shouto this, shouto that but natsuo 🥺 our middle baby 🥺 this legitimately decided the way a scene would play out akfjwjsna

[trolloled]

ase-trollplays​:

Ah. Well sh●●t. Guess y●u’re just g●nna have t● keep living like a squatter. Th●ugh speaking ●f terrible living c●nditi●ns, I’m surprised y●ur hive d●esn’t stink c●nsidering there’s literally a c●rpse basement. ●r maybe it d●es. H●w w●uld I kn●w? It’s n●t like I have a sense ●f smell anym●re.

>> He completely ignored your attempt to be encouraging, which is fair, you guess. You did hurt his feelings, after all, and he doesn’t seem like a particularly forgiving type. You’ll just have to live with it, it seems.

>> A big grin crosses your face when he agrees, albeit hesitantly, to watch Manos with you. You used to have a rifftrax of that movie that would watch when you needed a laugh. You’re not sure if Xrumon would approve of you making sarcastic commentary while watching it, but you know you won’t be able to resist.

Yeah, sequelitis kinda ruined the h●rr●r aspect f●r me. It just g●t s●●● ridicul●us it was laughable.

>> You watch as he’s extremely delicate about removing the movie currently in the VCR and placing the other one in. Can he not control the robot suit’s strength or something? You’ve heard of highbloods that are so strong they break just about everything they touch. Maybe it’s the same with him.

>> Wait what did he just say

wh●a wh●a wh●a, y●u have the direct●r’s cut ●f Attack ●f the Killer Mutated Ambulat●ry Sewer Sharks Three??! H●W?? N● ●ne’s ever been able t● get their hands ●n it! I didn’t think any c●[ies even existed anym●re!

> You pointedly roll your eyes at their comment about smell.

“/\/Oh, yes, I just leave all the bodies to rot downstairs so I can get a botfly infestation.”

“/\/Commme on now, do you really think I'mmm that disgusting? I live in a mmmessy roommm, not an ecological disaster zone.“

> You pick up the VHS sleeve and gently slide out the tape in question into your palm. Fortunately, it was already rewound since whenever you had last seen it. You made a mental note to rewind the other movie you’d paused in the middle of as you turn to put the new tape in.

“/\/There's a cremmmatoriummm in the basemmment. Anyone that dies here, I incinerate after seeing if they had anything useful on themmm. Hardly proper burials, but I'mmm not going to just leave rotting corpses around.“

> You tap a finger on your faceplate, where your nose ought to be.

“/\/I still have mmmy scent glands, so I would probably faint if I let that mmmuch rot consummme the place.“

> You grumble to yourself as you fiddle with the tape, prodding it into the VHS player with the least amount of force possible. With a small hum, the machine accepts the tape and draws it inside, then begins whirring as the media is processed.

“/\/Yes, I do. Frankly, I had no idea it was even that rare, until sommmeone else broke in and told mmme as mmmuch.“

“/\/I found it at sommme old yard sale, a... few sweeps ago. Before all this.“

> You gesture vaguely to your whole body as you get up to return to the couch, snatching the remote from the top of the television as you do so. 

“/\/MMMaybe that troll was the director trying to mmmake a few caegars. All I know is that he almmmost definitely overcharged mmme.“

“/\/But, ah... yes. It does exist. I haven't watched it yet either, but I suppose if you wanted to see it, I could get around to getting it frommm upstairs.“

“/\/Eventually.”

“/\/...Do you have an interest, in, uh, collectables like that? I have sommme other things up there as well. That didn’t.... burn, at least.”

> You awkwardly fiddle with the remote in your hands for a few seconds, not sure what you’re even saying or why you’re saying it. Then you shake your head and press the play button without thinking too hard, causing the already damaged looking casing to add another crack along its top side.

> You swear under your breath in irritation as the television screen jerks back to life, the opening credits to the ‘masterpiece’ beginning to play.

[the-anderjay-show]

Chapter seven of the future

The days dragged on since my fathers passing, and the two weeks waiting for you to go into labor felt like an eternity. Devastated over my loss, trying to look to the future for hope, praying not to let the darkness consume me. Anytime the gloom began to enshroud me, you were able to shine your light and reach out to me, saving me from my thoughts as you so often do. I am constantly amazed by you…supporting and helping me so much, when you yourself were needing support. Eventually those weeks did pass, as all time does, and the ever exciting day arrived. This was the day we had looked forward to for nearly 8 months. We were just relaxing in the apartment, not doing much of anything. You were getting ready for bed in our room, I was putting away the clean dishes and feeding Blake when I heard you call me, somewhat concerned - “Aaalllleeeyy?! I think my water just broke!” “Are you sure?!” I foolishly asked “Uh, pretty darn sure!!” You sarcastically quipped back. I laughed to myself for asking such a stupid question…I couldn’t believe it, the day was finally here! We were finally going to meet our children! But for as much happiness, excitement and hope filled my heart; dread, fear, and helplessness filled my head. Dreaded that something would go wrong during labor, fearing that I wouldn’t make a good father, helpless to ease your discomfort. We grabbed our go-bags we had packed months ago and I helped you to the car. I drove as fast and safely as possible to the local hospital, NCH, all the while trying to keep you calm and let family know that it was happening. Drove up to the pull through, helped you out, and started to check you in when I realized I left the car running in the drop off. I ran to the car, parked, and bolted back in. It had hardly been maybe a minute, but you were gone. I frantically searched around the small wiring room, the asked where you were, but they said you had wandered off in the middle of paperwork. I asked a random woman to check the bathroom, but you weren’t there. I started to panic, but trying to not co platelet freak out, when suddenly I caught a glimpse of what may have been you in the gift shop. “That couldn’t be her, she’s going into labor” I thought. But at the same time, leave no stone unturned. So I walked in, and there you were, looking at the overpriced stuffed animals. “Sorry alley, I couldn’t help it. These were so cute, and I thought it would be so adorable to have stuffed animals ‘born’ the same day as the twins. Just look at them! Looook at themmm” you were explaining and joking. Even in such a time as this, I was falling in love with you all over again. “It’s very nice honey, maybe we will…however, we reallly need to go finish the admission papers so that you can actually have the babies” So off we went, finished up the necessary business, and they got you to a room to have the twins. I have trouble recalling all that happened, it was such a whirlwind. Nurses and doctors in and out, checking on you, reminding you of what you need to do. But you knew it all already, you had studied and planned, and were a nurse yourself. You Jew it all and we’re getting more and more frustrated with them every time the door opened. I had to keep squeezing your hand to remind you to calm down. Like I said, it’s all a blur, all I remember is being at your side, then all of a sudden there was a raspy wail that filed the room. We both looked at each other and knew, we knew that we were gonna be so happy with our children, with our new lives. They cleaned her up and handed her to you. And seeing you holding our little girl, our little Hadley, I couldn’t help but get choked up. But that didn’t last long, because you still needed to push out the other twin. Again it was a blur of trying to comfort you and help you, then, crying. And they handed you little Donald to hold. They let us hold them and beam with pride briefly before taking them to make sure they were the picture of health. While we waited for our children to be brought back, I held you tight and whispered “You did so great honey! You made our babies! I love you so so much” Our families had arrived part way through your labor, so they weren’t allowed back at the time, but now they surrounded us and overwhelmed us. You kept looking to me for help, and I could tell you were feeling that weight on your chest. So I took them out of the room to look at our babies in that check up area. And they were the most beautiful little babies I had ever seen. I couldn’t wait for us to be able to take them home and start our new life as a young family. Later that evening, we were sitting in that cold, heartless hospital room, but with us there, each holding one of our children, it was filled with so much love and care, it almost felt like a home. Holding our child, looking at you holding the other, I knew that we had done good, and that happiness would continue to be ours. With so much love in my heart, it eased my pain, it saved me.

[sleepydrarry]

ITS MIA! YOUR (hopefully) FAVORITE DRARRY FRIEND. I have come for a rec request, and you, the rec queen, are my first choice ALWAYS. Okay so I need to start reading some longer fics again but not like INSANELY long. decent length. Preferably with lots of smut. And when one of them is really flirty and it makes the other one all flustered. Or if they're forced to or end up living together. PINING?! JUST CUTE AND HOT OKAY EMMA I LOVE YOU

Miaaa, I am so excited to do these recs for you! It has been a struggle to narrow them down to these. So, while all of these don’t fit all the prompts, they all have at least one of them, and they’re all fics that I think you’ll enjoy~ 

• Strange Bedfellows by ravenclawsquill (30k)When Harry encounters a frail and fidgety Draco Malfoy at the Ministry, he just knows something is wrong and he’s determined to get to the bottom of it. A story about Deadly Nightshade, crippling insomnia, excellent wine … and finding what you need in the strangest of circumstances.(I love this one, we have Drarry ending up living together, they’re all domestic and goofy and it’s wonderful. It’s dealing with some darker themes, too.)

• Never Feel the Burning Light by carpemermaid (48k)When it falls to Draco to restore his family name to its former glory the road ahead of him is long, but with Harry Potter’s help and a plan that is just this side of ridiculous he just might succeed at accomplishing his goals and getting what he wants. What neither of them plan on is falling in love along the way.(THE PINING IN THIS GODDAMN. Fake relationship, living together, UST, great writing, casual intimacy, bits of heartbreak, all kinds of loveliness.)

• The Critiquer by dysonrules (24k)When Harry submits his cock photo to a renowned Cock Critiquer and gets a terrible review, he decides to take a photography class to improve his skills.(This one is hilarious, I was cracking up so bad, and Harry is so determined to get it right it’s amazing. Snarky Draco, flustered Harry–so much yesss.)

• Lessons in Humility by playout (86k)After the dissolution of his marriage and a good bit of soul-searching, Harry returns to Hogwarts as the new Defense teacher. Go figure, it happens to be the same year Draco takes over the role of Potions Master. Neither man is happy about this turn of events. Will they be able to set aside their differences and learn a thing or two about trust and humility on the way? (Lots of sex, they end up living together, they’re all domestic and fluffy, they’re forced to talk things out, and I love them oh-so-much. So good.)

• The Guise of Forgiveness by SunseticMonster (23k)George’s new potion has caught the interest of the entire Auror Department, thanks to an article by the elusive Draco Malfoy. So, when Harry sees Malfoy in the middle of a panic attack, he attempts to make amends as a ploy to find out what’s really been going on.(I adore this Draco, he’s so precious, and Harry is an awkward cupcake, you’ll LOVE THEMMM. Draco is dealing with depression and it is so real.)

• Running on Air by eleventy7 (74k)Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.(I need everyone to read this fic because, again, it is the most beautiful thing ever and it will make you cry yourself into an early grave. In a good way.)

• Bound To You by agentmoppet (28k)Hag magic is capricious and unruly, and Harry and Draco are bound to stay by each other’s side until they can solve the riddle. In between long car trips, misty rain, and midnight star charts, they begin to understand each other.(Amazing writing, so fascinating with the magical theory and all, there’s sass and accidental bonding and pining pinging pininggg.)

• Hey, Potter by SunseticMonster (16k)Harry returns to Hogwarts for his 8th year, determined not to let Malfoy get to him. But when the snarky teasing starts up again, Harry finds that returning the jibes with compliments has a far more interesting outcome.(Draco goes so so shy when Harry gives him these compliments, it’s AMAZING. Flustered!Draco is my fave. This is sweet fluffy fun.)

Bonus:

• Colors by xErised (9k)Tomorrow is the day when Draco will be released from Azkaban. Harry Potter has been desperately waiting.(Short, but this one is angstttyyyyy and it will ruin your life. You’re welcome.)

[lostatsea-eric-blog]

"Isn't this great? The salty sea air, the wind blowing in your face. Aaah, the perfect day to be at sea!" -Prince Eric

Archetype — The Hero can be Caregiver too Birthday — January 22, 1988 Zodiac Sign — Aquarius MBTI — ISFJ Enneagram — 2; The Helper Temperament — Phlegmatic Hogwarts House — Gryffinpuff Moral Alignment — Lawful Neutral Primary Vice — Pride Primary Virtue — Kindness Element — Air

Overview:

Mother — Katherine Andersen nee Hightower Father — Derrick Andersen Mother’s Occupation — Lawyer Father’s Occupation — Owner of Andersen’s Marina Industries which includes ship/boat building and repairs as well as marine equipment manufacturing. Family Finances — Wealthhyyy. Aside from owning a company, they also got that ollddd moneeyy ayyeeee Birth Order — Numero two Brothers — None Sisters — Four!!! Apparently, Eric was the only boy his parents were able to produce xD but only three out of the four sisters are alivvee. Olivia is the oldest of the Andersen bunch (32), then came Eric (30), followed by Aileen (RIP mermaid ate her chomp chomp), then Vittoria (20) anddd Alessandra (19) Other Close Family — He has a niece and a nephew!! Christian (12) and Sofia (9). He adores them and is an awesome and wonderful uncle kk they adore him backkk!! They’re Olivia’s kids. Best Friend — Max!!!!!!! lmao He was very close to Aileen too :((( Other Friends — The Order becaussee his life basically revolved around it Enemies — All SEA CREATURES OUT THERREE I meann other monsters too, like monsters are monsters he won’t kill one just because they don’t live in the water buttttttt he specializes in the water dwellers. Conflicted with mermaids. A mermaid killed his sister, a mermaid saved his life it’s a rough struggle right now. xDD He’ll be on the hunt for answersss.  Pets — Max!!!!!!!!! Yes, directly stolen from the movie with absolutely no shame. His best-friend, his CHILD, his beautiful big fluff of pure love Old English Sheep Dog Maxxxxxxx.   Home Life During Childhood — Not shabby at all. Just going to put it out there he was/continues to still be dad’s favorite. Only boy, so of course it was only natural, plus he proved to be an #awesome Prince becoming the best in his specialized field so old Derrick is very prouudd. Things were a little rough for the Andersen’s during Aileen’s death, but they patched up. All in all, Eric was very loved, pampered, and aside from the death of his little sister, didn’t suffer much trauma in his childhood. Town or City Name(s) — Camogli, Italy is where he’s from and then Eric has basically bopped around the seas of Europe, living in many of Europe’s coastal regions. What Did His or Her Bedroom Look Like — Pretty normal looking. Eric really isn’t the messy type at all, so for the most part his room was pretty kept. Had the standard furnishing. He didn’t care too much for decorating any decoration in his room was marine influenced. Any Sports or Clubs — Captain of the swim team in high school. Eric is an excellent and v agile swimmer as well as a bomb ass diver. Didn’t really indulge in sport teams though when he hit Uni because there was no time in between having full time Prince dutieess. Surfing, he does surf. Jet skiing he loves thaatt. Canoeing and kayaking he enjoys too.  Look any water sport he probably does. He’s like a fucking fish. Favorite Toy or Game — Of course he deff had little ship toys when he was young and those were his favorites!!! Even had those ships in a bottle hahaha, Sailing. Schooling — Primary, Secondary and University all completeeedd with a Masters degree. Wasn’t home schooled because ole Derrick didn’t want Eric to stay surrounded by all girls for his entire life xDD Favorite Subject — Science, specifically Marine Biology. Popular or Loner — Popular. Who didn’t love my sweet, shy, handsome sonnnn. xDD He’s like an introverted extrovert, deff shy but he does like people. It’s more in nature than like in complete mannerism if that makes any sense at all..... Important Experiences or Events — The death of Aileen, the beginning of his training enjoyed more of the sea stuff side of things, becoming a squire then rising up to a knight, the success of his very first solo hunnttt killed a SIRREENN, becoming a Prince, graduating and gaining his Masters, getting to travel all around Europpeee, and the death of his crew members :((( Nationality — Italian don’t think Matt Lanter is but shhhh I made Eric it anyways xD  He does have Scottish roots to him. His family originated from Scotland and then immigrated to Italy. Culture — Italian, and The Order bc that shit is basically a lifestyle Religion and beliefs — Raised Catholic and went to mass every Sunday like a good well-behaved boy. He’s not so heavily involved with it now, but like he’ll go to a mass from time to time to like appease his parents haha.

Physical Appearance:

Face Claim —  Matt Lanter Complexion — Fair skin, but not like pale fair, he got some good ole sun back in Italy Hair Colour — Dark Brown :/ I know it’s suppose to be that beautiful dark black but I had to comprimise to get my EYEESS Eye Colour — BLUUEEEE, a BEAUTIFUL crystal ocean BLUEEE Height — 5’10 Build — Athletic. Not like beefy or stocky, but definitely fit and toned. I meaann he goes around killing sea monsters and running ships course he’s going to be fitttt.   Tattoos — Nope. Piercings — Nope. Common Hairstyle — His hair is cut short. It’s always neat. Clothing Style — Simple. T-shirts, jeans, boots. He does own a variety of like weather coats for when he’s hitting the seas. On days he’s working on the University he knows how to dress it up, so he’ll wear his like button downs, still with jeans though haha. Eric deff knows how to dress up for occasions that calls for them, what Prince doesn’t thoughhhhh Mannerisms — Scratches at the back of his neck, runs hands through his hair, can have restless leg syndrome from time to time, jaw clenching when angry  

Health:

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — Nope. Eric has awesome health, physically. Physical Ailments — None. Neurological Conditions — Probably got some PTSD going on from seeing the death of his sisterrr and then from the night of the storm :/ Allergies — None Grooming Habits — Great. Believer in looking groomed and showering twice a day haha Sleeping Habits — Not too bad. The occasional nightmare from his PTSD, but other then that Eric can pretty much sleep anywhere. Like if you can sleep on a ship in the middle of the ocean then I’m sure you’re pretty seettt.   Eating Habits — Eric is a health nuttt. Pesco-Vegetarian. Dairy free, though does cave with his protein shakes. Avid drinker of water. Likes for his food to be locally sourced. Course this is all from when he’s land base when he’s out at sea I mean it is what it is at that point haha Exercise Habits — Hits the gym a loottt. Exercises everyday even if he’s on a ship. When land base he’s normally a professor and so he hits the Uni pool every morning and does a good bout of laps. It’s how he starts his day. Emotional Stability — Pretty stable sorta kinda going through some shit at the moment no thanks to some recent events....   Body Temperature — Average I guess?? Sociability — Eric is like an introverted extrovert. He can be shy, but it’s not that kind of shy where it keeps him from talking to people or acting like he has no social cues. He likes talking to people, and all that fun stuff, but he can be reserved.   Addictions — None. Drug Use — Nope. Alcohol Use — Not really, maybe like the occasional here and there, but he isn’t much of a heavy drinker

Your Character’s Character:

Bad Habits — Stubbornness, can lose eye contact depending on what’s being spoken about, blunt with facial expressions, can get bored easily Good Habits — Kind, health nut, exercises, polite, honest, courteous Best Characteristic — Loyal, daring and kind Worst Characteristic — His pride Worst Memory — Witnessing the death of his baby sister Aileen Best Memory — His solo hunt and any memory he has with Aileen Proud of — His family, his sisters, his hunting accomplishments (though he’s questioning some of them), his solo hunt, his education Embarrassed by — Not a lot really. Eric is a pretty laid back type of dude, though miscalculating that storm could deff be one he’s embarrassed about Driving Style — Really good. He’s one of those that follows all the street laws and always stays within speed limit. Doesn’t have a car though at the moment with him, never really saw the need in getting one because he wasn’t having a sedentary life Strong Points — His intellect, thoughtfulness, kindness, determination, daringness Temperament — Laid back. Eric is a pretty lax guy although he can get passionate and peeved out about certain thingsss like family. Attitude — Determined Weakness — His stubbornness and pride too Fears — Lost of his family, he’s such a family guy /pets him Phobias — None Secrets — None so faarrr err well accept that he’s part of the Order which is a secret societtyy other than that Eric is a pretty open book Regrets — Not being able to save his sister and crew members Feels Vulnerable When — Speaking about personal problems and when he’s unable to protect those he loves Pet Peeves — Didn’t exactly have any like real pet peeve…. Conflicts — Mermaids hahaha. No but legit mermaids. One killed his sister and then one saved his life. He was so sure his entire life that all sea creatures were MONSTERS and all of them were BAD and just harmed/killed people (huge in part because of what happened to Aileen) and then a mermaid goes and saves his life like tf he didn’t ask for thaaatttt, so he’s currently on the hunt for some answers and it hoping Swynlake will provide him with themmm.  Motivation — Aileen. She’s like his driving force behind every hunt he has ever done/does. He loved her so muuccchh!!!! /crieesss Short Term Goals and Hopes — Figure out his conflict crisis please and thank you.   Long Term Goals and Hopes — Find LOOOVVEEEE, a true love because he’s such a lost romantic (though ironically isn’t a current priority), settle down, marry and have kiddddsssssss, he would love a bunch of kids and probs even run his family business Sexuality — Heterosexual, Demiromantic Day or Night Person — Day Introvert or Extrovert — Introverted extrovert Optimist or Pessimist — Optimist

Likes and Styles:

Music — More acoustic and instrumental. He’s not into like current stream music, hell if he even knew what’s currently playing on the radio. xDD He can play the flute took lessons when he was youngeerr. Books — A non-fiction fan when it comes to what he picks up to read. Definitely anything marine involved for sure!!!! Got interested in the Dan Brown series.   Magazines — Nope. Foods — Sea food. He does love his fish. Is a vegetarian so no meats aside from sea food, so like he’s a Pesco-Vegetarian. Not really into sweets basically at all. He’s a health-nut!!! Likes fresh food, and can actually cook too!!!!   Drinks — Water. Water. Water. He drinks a lot of water. Likes protein shakes too. Not much of a drinker. Dairy free for the most part. Animals — Dogs, well more importantly his dog. xDD Lover of all sea animals, that are not sea monsters haha Social Issues — Protection of mundus against dangerous monsters Favorite Saying — He grew up constantly seeing his family’s saying “A mari usque ad mare” From Sea to Sea. He’s actually fond of it more so because it involves the sea and Eric loves being on the ocean not really because of the history behind it all hahaha Color — Blues and greeennsss are his very very favorites. He does like gray too because gray is also found in his family’s coat of arms. Jewelry — In his family it’s a tradition for a silver chained necklace to be forged for the males of the family, normally the eldest in which case Eric is among his line. Eric though added a sea shell charm to his chain because it was Aileen’s favorite charm. He wears his chain all the time, never takes it off. Oh yeah then there’s his family ring buttttt he doesn’t go stunting that around. Games — Boating, jet-skiing, sailing, anything water involved, does enjoy horse riding, is ehh about jousting but whatever he does it when he has too, fencing  Websites — None really.... haven’t even decided yet if he has an insta looool TV Shows — Not a lot either omg horrible Eric!!! But there aren’t really TVs on ships sooo he’s not like an avid tv watcher. If anything he’d probs like documentaries he’s so ehhh about tv Movies —  Loooook he’d rather be out by the ocean side then sit down and watch a movie. He’s an out door person, staying in toooo long probably gets him sorta restless. Greatest Want — To settle down eventually. Find LOOVVEEE get married have some kiddos Greatest Need —Get this conflict shit situated and get back to the WATERRR. He wants his OCEAAANN

Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:

Home — Camogli, Italy is like his family home. Right now he’s in an apartment in Castle Suites would have loved more to live closer to the lake side by the WATTEERR but he doesn’t need a whole freaking house to himself. Household furnishings — Pretty basic. Favorite Possession — His necklace with Aileen’s charm on it <3 Most Cherished Possession — His necklace with Aileen’s charm on it <3 Married Before — Nope. Significant Other Before — Has had a few girlfriends before, but all have fallen through. None of them were THE ONEE. Children — Nope, but does want!!!! Like a bunncchh Relationship with Family — Closeee!!! He adores his family. Is close with his parents, adores his sisters and would do anything for them, loves his niece and nephewww. He often talks with them making sure to call them so that he can keep in touch. He’s the protective sort when it comes to his sisssterrssss. Car — Doesn’t have one at the moment, his life right now isn’t sedentary. He’s constantly moving from place to place and most of the time he’s on a ship sooo no need for a car too mcuch Career — Marine Biology Professor at Pride U; Prince in the Order Dream Career — He actually likes being a professorr, enjoys seafarer too which he does is often the helmsman. Anything water involveedd   Dream Life — Married with a big home back in his home town of Camogli or anything coastal region right by the beautiful ocean siiiddeee. There is definitely kids in his dreaamm lifffeee Love Life — Non existent at the moment Talents or Skills — He can play the flute, steer, captain and run a whole ship, fencing/ sword fighting, horse rider, swimmer, diver, fishing  Intelligence Level — Very well educated and is actually pretty nerdy in the things that he’s interested in

Your Character’s Life Before Your Story:

Past Careers — He has been a professor in different places. Helmsman and seafarer in more, takes any job ocean involving Past Lovers — Has had a few relationships in the past, but all have fell through. He hasn’t found his ONE yet :((( Biggest Mistakes — Miscalculating that fucking STORM. Biggest Achievements —Solo hunt, all his other successful hunts, becoming Prince, graduating Uni with both a bachelors and masters degree.

[arminsmybflol]

1-44 on that personal shit because I need to know everything about my bby~~~

You’re a cutie and ily

1. Any scars?I had some but luckily they faded away.

2. Self harmed?Yeah, I was in a really bad place in middle school. Im still struggling but I don’t self harm anymore.

3. Crush?Im too much of a scaredy-cat to tell them! ahhh!!!

4. Kissed anyone?Yes I have.

5. Coke or Pepsi?I hate soda but coke once in a while or i will get addicted.

6. Someone you hate?orange man

7. Best Friends?I have a few! I love themmm sooo muchhhhh @katherine1600 @random-bts-moments and others

8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs?nopeeeeee

9. What’s your dream job?I honestly don’t know ohhh goodddd. I wanted to be a nurse but?

10. Ever been in love?Im not really sure tbh? Like in a relationship idk? But i love my best friends will all my heart.

11. Last time you cried?Today… my book got me man.

12. Favorite color?Red(maroon), blue & black

13. Height?5? or 5’1 ?? I don’t really know.. but im smol

14. Birthday?November 2nd

15. Eye color?Dark brown

16. Hair color? My original color was brown but i dyed it black :)

17. What do you love?I love sooo many things! I love IT and how it has allowed me to make friends! I love books and the way they smell and how they hold such amazing stories! I love stranger things. I love the smell of rain on concrete. I love history and museums! I love my best friends that have been there for me through every awful or amazing moment! :))) !

18. Obsession?Im honestly obsessed with reddie. I just loveeee themm soo muchh! Im also obsessed with Mac DeMarco

19. If you had one wish, what would it be?already answered

20. Do you love someone?My friends and family :)

21. Kiss or hug?why not both?

22. Nicknames people call you?Blue

23. Favorite song?My king of woman by Mac DeMarco

24. Favorite band?The Neighborhood and The Arctic Monkeys

25. Worst thing that has ever happened to you?Living (looool)

26. Best thing that has ever happened to you?Meeting my soulmate and best friends.

27. Something you would change about yourself?uhhh??? idkk?? everything! yikes! ( jk i luv ma self kinda)

28. Ever dated someone?yes

29. Worst mistake?idk tbh? Life in general (looool)

30. Watch the movie or read the book? already answered

31. Ever had a heartbreak?yeppp!

32. Favorite show?Stranger things, the office (currently binge watching it) and parks and rec (& many more)

33. Best day of your life?hmm idk tbh? Meeting my best friends & the day MJ was born.

34. Any talents?none whatsoever (except being a doofus)

35. Do you wish you could ever start over?Do life all over again? hmmm

36. Any bad habits?Biting my nails!!! AHHH

37. Ever had a near death experience?way too many. I once hit my face by a swinging door and cut my forehead and my mama panicked. Also another time i tripped over a cut tree trunk and cut my leg open.

38. Someone I can tell anything to?My soulmate and best friends! I honestly feel that they know everything about me. They mean so much to me and I just love them so much @katherine1600@random-bts-moments

39. Ever lost a loved one?yea…

40. Do you believe in love?I do! I love my best friends so much and I honestly feel like we were meant to be friends :)

41. Someone you hate/Dislike?orange man

42. Are you okay?Depends on the day?

43. Relationship status?single :)

[irrlicht-writes]

in front of windows

Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

Pairing: Castiel/Dean

Summary: He could still save him. It’s what they did: they fixed things. But they were running out of time. Dean wished they could have more. They were supposed to go on a beach vacation together. Castiel would wear bumblebee-swimshorts and they’d be happy. If they could’ve had more time… maybe he could’ve said it to Castiel’s face then, instead.

A/N: my second coda to yet another episode I have not seen. @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover (I feel so weird tagging people because even when they request it it feels like I’m bothering themmm)

Coda to 15x09 “The Trap”

__________________________________

Dean busted through the door, hoping against hope that he wasn’t too late. His breaths came hard and fast and then – he stopped.

Castiel stood in the middle of the room, right in front of the window. He wasn’t facing the door Dean just slammed open and everything was quiet. The room was dark; and Cas obstructed the only light source, illuminating him. That was an angel, right there, amidst the dead, because he killed them all. Dean looked at the ground. Around his feet, there were corpses, slaughtered. It reminded him too much of who he used to be and seeing it now, knowing the cause for it – it hurt.

His friend turned his head to him and Dean still believed he could be saved. Even if he could barely see Castiel in these blue eyes anymore, he still believed the angel could be saved. He had to. Nobody else believed in it anymore and he wasn’t ready to give up.

“Dean”, Castiel said.

He looked around the room and there was no remorse in his voice.

“I believe I got them all. We should leave now.”

Dean couldn’t say anything, and he also couldn’t move when Castiel came his way. That was his friend. These lifeless blue eyes were his friend. It was his fault. Everything was his fault and he didn’t know how to fix it. He lost Castiel more and more every breathing moment and he feared the day nothing would be left of him. His hand was shaking and he was still grabbing the doorknob. He didn’t know what to do.

He knew.

“Dean”, Castiel said again and reached out to his hand, removing it gently from the door. Castiel was still there, in these rare moments. Dean swallowed down, hard, and resisted the urge to hug his friend. He didn’t have the right; he’d never have the right again.

“Are... are you okay?” He asked instead.

Castiel nodded.

“I am now.”

Yes... he’d be fine now, after killing all these people. It didn’t matter if they deserved this. It mattered that there was no remorse in Castiel’s heart after the act. Castiel left the room and Dean, having his head hung low, followed him. There was nothing else to do.

He mourned every moment he never got to have.

~

“Dean.”

He tried so very hard not to listen. He was fixated on this stupid book-page; it didn’t matter if he had no clue what it said. His hands were shaking and he wished he could have a drink. Hell, he wished he could be drunk all the time these days. But he would never forgive himself for that. Being drunk in possibly the last moments he’d ever get? He shouldn’t even be reading this book, but maybe – just maybe – there was a way to fix it in there. Because they would fix this. That’s what they did.

“Dean!”

Sam tore his book away from him and Dean stared at him angrily. He hated Sam. He hated Sam for his level-headedness. Fuck, he hated Castiel for the same reason. He knew both of them were right, but he didn’t want to hear it.

“What?” He barked at Sam.

“Dean... you know it’s what we got to do.”

That motherfucker even did the puppy-eyes. They had worked so many times, Dean couldn’t even count. But not this time. Not about this.

“What, Sam? We fix this, this is what we gotta do! That is not fixing it!”

Sam shook his head.

“Dean, Cas himself said –“

“Well, fucking Cas can go suck my dick then!”

Sam shut up. Dean stood up and stormed away. He was delaying the impossible, he knew that. But what else was he supposed to do? He couldn’t... he just couldn’t.

He threw himself on his bed and curled up on it. The thought alone made him sick. There had to be a way to fix this. They always managed. They always fixed stuff. So why couldn’t they fix Cas? And why was Sam so ready to just... give up? He thought they were friends. They were all supposed to be brothers! You didn’t just give up on family!

“Dean.”

Dean swallowed the lump in his throat and sat up. “Hey, Cas.”

His friend moved quietly, and then sat down next to him. Dean looked over. It was Cas. It’d always be Cas. He could do this. He could save him. It’d all be alright, and then they’d go take that beach vacation. Castiel would wear swim-shorts with bees on them and they’d play ball on the sand together. Yes. That’s what they’d do, once this nightmare was done with.

“I really wanted to kill Sam when I passed him by.”

Dean didn’t know what to say. “You didn’t, though.” It was barely a whisper.

“No. But it’s getting harder to resist.” Castiel turned his head. “It’s also getting harder to resist killing you.”

He reached out and took Dean’s hand. It was nice. Castiel’s hand was warm, and a solid weight. They should’ve held more hands before.

“I think about it a lot. I could take your hand like this and just... break every finger on it. Bend them backwards, just to hear you scream.”

Dean was paralyzed. He knew these thoughts. But Cas was supposed to be stronger than this. Nothing was supposed to touch him. Castiel raised his other hand and put it on Dean’ cheek. That, too, was nice. They should’ve done that more often.

“I also think about pushing my finger into your eye and pop the eyeball out. I think about putting my fingers in your mouth and rip it open, tearing your jaw off. I think about putting my hand in your chest”, his hand left his face and was now rubbing over his chest, “just to tear your heart out. Breaking every rib you have, pierce your lungs and see the terrified look in your eyes.”

Castiel then straddled his lap, looking down at Dean.

“I think about tearing your arms off, to hear you scream. I think about ripping your legs off and tie them together.”

He held Dean’s face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together.

“I want to do all this, and I want Sam to watch. I want to hurt Sam and I want you to watch, powerless to do anything about it. I want to rip and slice and stab and kill everything. I want to hear you scream, I want to end your lives in the most painful way possible. And I can’t...”

His voice broke and he had clenched his eyes shut. Dean could just stare. He understood. He understood exactly how Cas felt. He would fix this.

“I’m gonna fix this, Cas, you just wait and see.”

Castiel shook his head and something akin to a broken sob escaped him.

“Dean, you can’t. And even if it was possible, I don’t have enough time. You know that. Dean, please. Please. I don’t want this. I don’t want this to become a reality, Dean, please...”

Dean hugged his angel. They were shaking. He knew. Of course he knew. Castiel had been so strong resisting for as long as he did.

“Stay with me tonight”, Dean whispered. He needed Cas to be with him until the end. He didn’t know how he’d cope after his friend was gone.

“I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”

Castiel’s eyes were big and blue and there was the angel he’d always known. The one that’d been with him for so long; that has died for him. He could never be afraid of this Castiel.

Dean shook his head. “You won’t, angel. You won’t.”

“Your faith in me is astounding.”

“Cas... you’re the only thing I’ve ever had faith in.”

They huddled together and Dean held tight on that trench coat. He didn’t want to sleep, but Cas would watch over him, one last time. He wished they’d had more time. More time to hurt each other again and again; and find each other again and again.

~

The next morning, Cas was still here, watching Dean. He smiled. “Hey, Cas.”

“Hello, Dean.”

It was the last time he’d hear these words and it hurt. He searched for Cas’ hand and squeezed it. This couldn’t be happening. Surely, Sam would bust in the room any second and proclaim he’d found a cure. But Sam never came. Castiel kept looking at him with these unwavering eyes. He’d miss those most of all. He scooted closer to Cas and hugged him tight – it was weird while they were laying down, but what did it matter? What did anything matter anymore?

“Let’s go.”

Castiel nodded and Dean’s heart broke.

~

Dean couldn’t let go of Cas’ hand. Sam was standing behind them and he was snivelling. Normally, Dean would tease him for that but – not now. It took everything he had not to break down crying. The monster sat right there, as innocent as a table – the Ma’lak Box.

Castiel was oddly composed but then again; Castiel always did what needed to be done. It didn’t mean that Dean could. He was shaking and Castiel squeezed his hand tighter. This wasn’t how it was supposed to end. It was supposed to end with the three of them together. Him, Sam and Cas. Team Free Will.

Sam put a hand on Cas’ shoulder. “Cas, I... I’m going to miss you.” That was all? Castiel turned to Sam and hugged him – Dean hated that he let go of his hand for that.

“I’m going to miss you as well, Sam. I hope you can forgive me one day.”

Sam shook his head: “There’s nothing to forgive, Cas.”

Castiel stepped back and looked at Dean. Dean couldn’t return the look. It meant good-bye, and he’d never be ready for that. Castiel’s hand was soft on his back.

“Dean, you know it must be done.”

He stepped forward to the box and stepped inside. Dean didn’t want to look. He wanted to run and when he came back, he wanted everything to be fine. Cas and Sam would be sitting in the library, talking about ancient texts and chastise him for just going out like that.

Castiel was sitting inside the box now and he looked up at Dean, smiling.

“It’s going to be fine.”

He lay down and looked at them again. Dean took a step and put his hand on the lid. If he closed it, that would be it. Castiel would be gone. His hand was shaking and there were un-spilled tears in his eyes. He couldn’t do it. But he couldn’t let Sam help him. It had to be him. This was his box, his angel and his responsibility.

Castiel smiled with warm eyes. Dean wished for more time. He wished for a sudden cure. Anything. He’d gladly give his own soul to whoever would take it if it meant he wouldn’t have to close the lid.

“Sam. Dean. I love you. I love both of you. And I’m so proud to have known you. I’m so glad our paths have crossed and that I was able to stay with you. I want to thank you. For everything you’ve done and for everything you will still do. I want you to know that I’m forever proud of you. Dean”, his tone was softer now, “please. I want you to remember me as me. But could you... do me one small favour?”

Dean just nodded silently. He couldn’t speak. What was there to say? He wiped the tears out of his eyes because this was the last time he’d be able to see Cas. He was smiling.

“Please, Dean, I... I want to see your smile, just one last time. Can you do this for me?”

How could he deny that wish?

So he smiled. Not his cocky, charming grin, no. Castiel wouldn’t want that. Dean couldn’t stop the tears, but he smiled. Castiel smiled back and he was shining. Dean closed the lid and he kept smiling and the very last moment.

He locked the lid and then he broke down.

He didn’t wail. He just cried.

At some point, he told Sam to leave him alone.

Castiel was gone.

Castiel was gone forever.

He wished he wasn’t so much of a fool.

 “I love you, Cas.”