#nearly everyone on the map should be getting an emblem ring | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lexiseigneur · 5 years

Text

Chapter twenty: Cannon fodder

Ao3

The black room in her head had failed her. Somehow the parts of her that had not been inside that room when she had changed were now forever linked to Quinlan. Shoving pieces of her new self behind that door now meant making a choice. Temporary peace without his light, or chaos with only his soul as support. Implicitly, she had expected to be able to use that ability as they faced the Master but it could not happen. Not only did she feel cold and empty when she attempted to push away her fear and pain, but Quinlan’s voice was also out of reach. Worse than that, it hurt him when she fled inside herself.

For twenty years that dark room had enabled her to live in serenity and not let the visions of her past submerge her. That was over. She would have to keep the new terrible memories on the surface. At least, Gordo’s dying gaze and the silence of his heart would not follow her for very long. Stop thinking like this. Lexi pushed that distasteful idea away and focused on the soothing knocking of Quinlan’s heart.

Downstairs, the man on guard opened the gate and a car drove inside the building. Gus and Raul had been the only men outside at this time so Lexi perked up at hearing the faint beating of three additional hearts.

“It seems Augustin has already found someone,” said Quinlan but he made no motion indicating that he wanted to meet that person.

Lexi, on the other hand, was both curious and worried. Part of her wanted to ensure that whoever this was had been brought aware of every implication.

“We should meet him,” she said.

“Her.”

Lexi focused on the sounds downstairs and yes…the new voice sounded briefly and was clearly feminine. She authorized herself a small grin. Her desire to meet the newcomer soared. Quinlan and Lexi climbed down the stairs to the lowest level which still smelled of the exhaust fumes from the SUV. Half a dozen men observed the woman with curiosity while she spoke with Gus and Raul. She was slim and with glossy black hair tied on her nape. Slanted eyes veered toward the Dhampir and widened. Her hand flew to Raul’s side where he kept his weapon. Before the man could react, she took the gun and directed its nuzzle at the couple.

Every man present except Raul pointed their own weapons at the woman and that reaction was sufficient to stop her from firing. Lexi looked around and even if it was uncomfortable to be threatened in that manner, she grinned. Even Arturo had the newcomer in his line of fire with that eternal scowl spreading on his face.

“Those are the two I told you about and I guarantee if we have to choose between them or you, they win,” said Gus, his gun an arm’s length from her head. He pulled the hammer back which clicked ominously. Her face still cold and her gaze fixated on both Dhampir, she returned the gun to Raul. He seemed as angry as he was embarrassed. Around the room, weapons returned to their holsters.

“This one is dangerous,” said Quinlan appreciatively.

Lexi nodded. For a human, she had moved with impressive speed. Her stance was efficient and her arm steady. There was absolutely no reason to worry about her safety because she was the opposite of the mild-mannered Brevil. Lexi had expected a poor soul, thrust into a desperate war almost against their will.

“Is she a goddamn ninja?” asked Jorge.

Antonio glared disapprovingly.

“Just ‘cause she Asian doesn’t make her a ninja you racist asshole.”

“Oh fuck you, I didn’t even see her move.”

The beginning of a large tattoo was visible under the collar of the newcomer’s shirt.

“Quinlan, Lexi,” said Gus while pointing at the Dhampir. “That’s Hinata.”

“Did you notice the emblems on her skin?” said Quinlan.

“I did. Why?”

Quinlan took a step forward and keeping his back very straight, bowed. Hinata bowed back so quickly, it appeared automatic. He spoke to the woman in a foreign language whose intonations were sharp and highlighted the rumbling of his voice. Lexi had no clue what he had just said but she did manage to recognize it was Japanese. Hinata answered and lifted her collar to hide the inked skin. Quinlan sneered.

“She is a princess. A daughter of the Japanese mob…I suspect she learned a few lessons in cruelty from them.”

“Why would she be with the Librarian?”

“I imagine her family sent her here to study. Those tattoos would make her an outcast in her home country.”

“So Hinata, what exactly did you do before the Fall?” asked Lexi.

“Theoretical economics,” she replied without any perceptible accent then detailed the female Dhampir rudely. Lexi uncovered her sharp teeth and growled which did not deter her. Amir pointed at the woman’s face where a thin scar spread from the side of her nose to the bottom of her chin.

“Samesies!” he said and gestured at his own scarred face.

Hinata gave him a look full of disgust.

“No,” she replied and turned her back on him.

His grin widened and he whispered in Raul’s ear, much too low for other humans to hear:

“I give her a week before she is in love with me.”

“You said I would be told the whole truth once I came here,” said Hinata to Gus.

“Yeah, we gonna do that. But for your information, you won’t be allowed to leave anymore.”

“I don’t care,” she said dismissively.

“You should, ‘cause if I decide we can’t trust you, I’ll put a bullet in your head.”

She stared at him in mild surprise. The Sun Hunter held her gaze, severe and unwavering. Her thin lips stretched into a smirk.

“Alright, everyone stop gawking like morons and go do your jobs. Quinlan, Lex, let’s talk.”

They climbed up the stairs to the communal space and stood around the table.

“So, beside Hinata here we got no volunteers but the Librarian said he would look around for us. At least he seemed happy to get rid of this one.”

He pointed at Hinata who did not appear particularly concerned. Cold and focused, her eyes were still on the Dhampir. They barely shifted as the Sun Hunter told her of the Master and of their plans to kill him.

“I’m gonna have to kill Strigs when it happens, right?”

“Yeah, it might happen,” said Gus.

“Just tell me when and where.”

On that day, Gus made it very clear that everyone should keep a close eye on their new crew member. Since the jamming devices were operational, Raul did not need to assist Lexi anymore. To his dismay, he was given the task of shadowing Hinata wherever she went. Often, Lexi noticed the woman staring.

Three days after Hinata’s arrival, she and Raul entered the communal room while Gus, Lexi and Quinlan leaned over a map of the world where red dots indicated active volcanoes. Brevil stood nervously a few paces away and on another table which had once been covered with Plexiglas and wire, now laid a detailed map of Central Park and the surrounding streets.

“Outside that range, you guys would be on your own. You’d have to fly as far as you can then steal another plane or find another way to get there.”

“The range is more limited as crossing running waters is complicated for us,” said Quinlan. “It means wasting fuel and time unless we find a human pilot.”

The Dhampir looked at the volcanologist.

“We might be able to avoid such trouble if Dr. Brevil briefly takes over above those areas. Just in case the use of the autopilot is impossible.”

Brevil protested but quickly gave up. Hinata reached behind the bar, grabbed a whiskey bottle and poured herself a large glass. Raul, almost pouting went to stand between Gus and Lexi.

“You alright?” she asked Raul.

“She scares the shit out of me.”

Hinata took a deep gulp of the amber liquid then glared at the group.

“As much as I scared you?”

“No, not nearly as much.”

Gus suddenly noticed what Hinata was doing and took the bottle from her before she could pour herself another drink.

“You know how much that shit cost?” he asked and put the bottle back where it belonged.

“No, I don’t.”

His nostrils flared but his voice remained calm.

“Raul! Get her to Arturo and see if he needs another pair of hands. If he doesn’t, get her to Julio for meal prep.”

Raul groaned.

“Her and Arturo? Fuck.”

But he obeyed and joined the woman to direct her downstairs.

“Enough freeloading. You gonna pay for the crap you eat,” said Gus.

“I don’t see those two paying for what they take.”

She threw a cold gaze toward the Dhampir.

“You think I run the details of my business through you? Get out of here.”

It took a few seconds for her to stop staring and follow Raul. It was the moment the phone chose to ring. It was a very strange sound. Surreal even. This was a sound Lexi had not heard for a year and a half. Gus reached above the bar and picked up the handset. Intrigued she focused on the voice which she did not recognize.

“Gus? I’ll make this quick ‘cause I don’t like staying on shore for long. There are three people here who are also interested in joining your gang. But you will have to drive a little. After Hinata left we went further upstate so forget about calling the usual payphones, just go to Roger Island in Catskill.”

“Alright. We’re coming now.”

“Good. If we don’t see you before dark, we’ll leave.”

“That’s fair.”

Then the other man on the phone hung up. The location was several hours drive away and both Quinlan and Gus prepared to depart. Lexi discussed their flight plan in more detail with Brevil when Quinlan’s voice very suddenly quieted down to almost nothing. She grimaced and shook her head as if this would dislodge whatever was blocking her link to him. Within less than a minute, his voice came back.

“What just happened?” she asked.

“I was inside the vault to retrieve more ammunition. Augustin insisted on closing the door behind us so prevent Hinata from spying its content.”

“Very well…Be safe.”

Brevil had waited patiently through this quiet exchange as it were a perfectly normal thing to occur. On the day of the Master’s destruction, the scientist would accompany them because they might need human assistance. In addition, if they arrived after the volcanic eruption, they could not afford to return to New York. They would lay low and wait for another opportunity to kill the beast. Lexi both hoped and dreaded that eventuality.

Brevil returned to his laptop and Lexi went downstairs to assist the brothers with dinner. They were bickering again and did not bother pausing when she sat down and began peeling potatoes.

“Do you know how long it took me to find this?” said Julio as he shook a bunch of green leaves in his fist.

“I don’t give a shit, you ain’t putting it in the food,” retorted Miguel.

“This salsa without coriander ain’t worth nothing.”

“I’ve got soap that would taste better than this crap.”

Both acknowledged her presence and as one, turned to her.

“What do you think?” asked Miguel.

“I think I know better than to take a side in this,” she said and peeled potatoes with increased vigor.

When they involved Arturo after he stopped his daily metal work, his answer came quick and final.

“Use it, we are not wasting any food.”

The meal was finished shortly after and the table was set. Amir ran up the stairs with a full plate to give it to Antonio on guard duty then came back down with Brevil. During dinner, Hinata continued staring at Lexi who was starting to feel irritation from it. So the female Dhampir focused on the chattering made of small daily dramas that she enjoyed a great deal. When Hinata spoke, not particularly loud, the other voices fell silent.

“I heard people make bets on fights between you and Quinlan.”

Amir put down his fork still covered in food. Lexi did not appreciate the sudden change in atmosphere. Gordo had been the first to propose making those bets.

“Yes, it happened a few times,” she said.

“Have you fought those men as well?”

“No.”

They had never asked and Quinlan had not hinted that he wanted to train them. She had never even considered that possibility.

“I like staying sharp. Would you like to try me?”

Amir elbowed Raul needlessly, his eyes veering from Lexi to Hinata. Raul whispered to him: “Dude, I ain’t blind.”

Perhaps some friendly sparring would stop Hinata’s invasive gaze. Quinlan was too far to ask for his advice on the matter. If he had managed to fight Lexi when she was human, surely she would manage the same without hurting their newest ally.

“After dinner, if you wish.”

For the first time since her arrival, Hinata smiled but Lexi did not find that expression appealing. The men ate quickly and the table was cleared in record time, mostly thanks to Amir.

In the communal room, the two women faced one another. Marcus, Raul, and Amir leaned against the wall near the window. Antonio on guard duty shoved earbuds in his ears and stared resolutely outside.

“For your safety, I suggest we start without weapons,” said Lexi as she deposited her wolf-headed sword on the table.

“That’s rich…you’re telling me you’re also gonna leave that stinger of yours on the table?”

Lexi rattled at the quip but as she recalled her first training sessions with Quinlan, she repressed a smile. She too had been mouthy at times.

“I will not use it, don’t worry.”

“I’m not worrying. Last time a Strig tried to bite me, I pulled that thing right out of its throat.”

Amir’s mouth formed a perfect “O” and he waved a hand excitedly. Hinata threw the first punch and Lexi kept her speed to a minimum. In fact, she did not outright avoid the kicks and hits, preferring blocking them. Lexi was attempting to be kind but Hinata grew more violent by the second.

“You’re not trying at all!” hissed the woman. “Strike me!”

“As you wish.”

She amped her speed by a smidge and hit her in the back. Hinata stumbled forward and her wide cheekbones turned pink. Once more, Hinata attacked and this time instead of blocking her, Lexi dropped to the floor and swiped her legs. The woman hit the floor with a cry of pain and surprise. When she jumped to her feet her eyes were wide and her mouth a fine line.

“You’re faster than the Strigs,” she whispered.

“Much…much faster.”

Her expression turned sour. That woman had never seen either Lexi or Quinlan use the full range of their abilities so her astonishment was understandable. What Lexi could not comprehend or accept was the hostility this realization had triggered in the woman. Agreeing to this fight had perhaps been a mistake. Lexi wanted to end it but Hinata jumped her again. Whatever restraint she had exercised previously was gone. She fought dirty and with the full intent to hurt Lexi. The female Dhampir forced her opponent down on her knees with an arm twisted behind her back.

“We’re done here.”

The cooks, Julio and Miguel arrived at this moment, still bickering and Lexi looked at them. It was stupid to do so because although Lexi knew the fight was over, Hinata thought otherwise. A small silver blade cut deeply into Lexi’s thigh. Instantly she let go of the woman and shrieked. The voice did not sound like hers, it was high-pitched and savage, like a Strigoi. Instinctively she jumped back and slammed into a wall. The men were running, Marcus and Raul held Hinata as Julio searched her and extracted another blade from her boot.

Lexi looked down to her leg where her flesh sizzled against the toxic metal. She grabbed at the handle and screamed again. It was also silver. Amir rushed at her and pulled the blade out of her leg. Now that the twinge in her thigh receded, Lexi could suddenly hear Hinata and the words she was hurling at her. They were in Japanese but Lexi did not need a translation. They oozed with hatred.

“Oh shut the fuck up!” ordered Marcus and he shook the woman roughly.

That was enough to distract Hinata from her anger. And she looked around the room at the men who although they still kept their weapons in their holsters were all astonished and furious. When the pain became manageable, Lexi stood and thanked Amir. He nodded briefly and stared at Hinata. His usual grin was gone.

“I will not be able to hide this from Quinlan…” she said as she approached Hinata.

“Why should I care?”

“Because he will kill you for this and I doubt he will be gentle.”

The men present all nodded in agreement. Hinata’s façade of bravado cracked a little.

“But I would prefer to avoid that. I guess I’m the nice one, right guys?”

“She’s a goddamn hippie,” spat Amir.

His scar twisted from his grimace of anger.

“So when Quinlan comes back, I suggest you show at least some remorse. To save yourself.”

Hinata looked at the men present. Did she expect they were all bluffing?

“Do you understand?”

The woman stared at her feet and Lexi sighed in frustration. Her own anger was decreasing as quickly as the pain. She was worried too about Quinlan’s reaction to afford being angry.

“Hinata…I mean it. I really prefer if this doesn’t escalate any further. Do you get it?”

Lexi let her exhaustion through because she wanted the woman to witness it. Hinata looked up then almost imperceptibly, she nodded.

“Let’s get you back to your room…but first, we will be thoroughly searching it. I guess you understand.”

Marcus and Raul who still held onto Hinata grunted in agreement. The woman was ushered away and Lexi returned to her own room. Her wound would need to be flushed before she could stitch it and she would prefer to be alone to do that.

Lexi was shaken. She had experienced being feared but not yet being outright hated. She felt weak, and strangely hot, as if running a fever. Silver wounds were also a novel experience that she could have done without. While mending her leg, Quinlan’s voice returned to its place in the back of her mind. Although it was reassuring to have him back that way, she dreaded the discussion she knew was coming.

“What happened? Are you safe?” he asked immediately.

Despite the distance, he had felt her distress.

“I am fine but… Hinata stabbed me in the leg with a silver blade.”

“SHE DID WHAT?”

His desire for violence sliced into her just like the blade had. Lexi waited patiently for his rage to cool down.

“I will tear her in half.”

“No. It is completely unnecessary.”

“I disagree.”

The anger was not abating.

“Please…you said yourself that she’d be useful. It’s just a flesh wound. Tomorrow it will be gone.”

“I have killed for less.”

That remark irritated Lexi. She did not want to hear that.

“We need every able bodied person we have. Please, don’t do it.”

No more death. No more killing. Lexi was exhausted and she did not know if she could bear watching yet another person die.

“Promise me you will not hurt her.”

His reluctance was evident and had he been present, she was certain he would have been growling.

“Quinlan, please.”

“Your request is unreasonable but I will not touch her.”

Lexi breathed in relief. Hours later, when the gate buzzed open and five hearts exited the SUV, she did not have the strength to run to him. Marcus and Amir came up the stairs and she watched as they brought Hinata out of her bedroom. The woman was collected and the look she gave Lexi did not contain hatred. Or at least, she hid it well.

When they entered the communal space, the new people were not yet here. Lexi focused and heard their voices downstairs. Two women and a man, all fairly young. With those, she would keep a step back because this entire mess could not happen again. As she expected, Quinlan snarled loudly when he spotted Hinata. Although Lexi did not expect him to break his promise, she joined him and placed her palms on his chest.

“You seem tired,” he said and the rumbling of his throat died down.

“That’s because I am.”

Ignoring Lexi, Gus headed straight for Hinata.

“You better tell me what the fuck happened right now.”

“When I came here I thought I’d be killing Strigs, not play house with them.”

Quinlan tensed. Not wanting to test his resolve further, Lexi pulled him to the staircase and he followed reluctantly. Amir and Marcus’ voices were recounting the events in detail. Lexi closed the bedroom door, relieved that she had managed to spare Hinata from Quinlan’s ire. He stood in the middle of the room and just like her, focused on the voices below.

“So this was no accident?” said Gus.

“No,” confirmed Hinata almost proud.

Lexi cringed. She had told her to show at least some remorse.

“I warned you,” said Gus.

His voice was low and cool. Lexi had never heard him speak that way and she realized her error. But she was weak and it was too late. A single gunshot echoed in the building followed by the thump of a body hitting concrete. Lexi struck the door and slumped to the floor. More killing. Always more cold-blooded violence. She sobbed and held her face.

“Did you tell him to do that?” she asked Quinlan.

“No, but when he informed that it was a possible outcome, I did not convince him otherwise.”

“This is just as wrong as killing her yourself.”

“Augustin made a sensible choice.”

When he tried to touch her, she pulled away. Lexi surprised herself. At this very moment, it took huge effort not to snarl. She stood on her shaky legs.

“No! Do not try to justify this. The only one that needs to die is the Master.”

“You are blinded by your inexperience.”

Lexi growled loudly and the claws of her stinger poked out of her mouth. She forced the appendage back in her throat and clenched her teeth. Quinlan was calm and his demeanor fueled her outrage.

“Wars have casualties but treating people like disposable objects is what we’re fighting against.”

“It is crucial that you comprehend, Hinata had become worse than worthless. She had become a loose cannon. Lexi, I was thrust into arenas with only a few men and our wit as weapons, I have marched into the desert against the Berbers outmanned and desperate, and I have defeated the Silures in Britain on their native land. I have walked into battle thousands of times and I can assure you that doubting the intentions of my fellow soldiers would have meant defeat. For that reason, it was impossible for Hinata to fight alongside us. Now is not the time for taking prisoners, especially if they are hostile, capable and in the possession of sensitive information.”

“It doesn’t matter! We’re almost done! Keeping her locked up for a short period would not have been complicated.”

“It would have. It would have been manpower and food that Augustin knew he could not waste during such decisive times.”

Her furor spiked. It blazed red hot in her mind and the edges of her vision were darkening. When she remembered the fear in the eyes of the people she had watched die, the rage became blinding.

“Since the moment we met you have made a point of disregarding human life and I am sick of it.”

His scowl intensified and she knew exactly why. With this sentence, she had made this argument awfully personal. But this was what the rage demanded.

“I get it! Humans are insects to you. Their lives are so short that it’s very easy to shorten them just a little further.”

He shook his head and she was unsure that it was because he wanted her to stop speaking or because he disagreed with the words.

“You admitted yourself that when we first met, my existence was meaningless to you. You wanted to kill me when I had just saved you.”

The scowl vanished replaced by discomfort.

“Please don’t…”

“The only reason you bothered realizing that I was a person who deserved to live was because you were forced to. But now YOU need to understand something. Every time you kill someone, you kill me. All those people must seem very small to you, and they are. I saw your soul and how large it was. But I am tiny as well. I haven’t lived millennia, I haven’t learned dozens of languages, I haven’t experienced so much that my soul has become a sun, like yours. So when you kill someone as insignificant as I am, you kill me.”

“It is not like this. You don’t understand...”

“And I hope I never will. I’m glad I will die before I have a chance to become as inured to killing as you are.”

He grimaced and shook his head.

“You don’t mean this.”

She scoffed.

“You know damn well I cannot lie to you in the Bond.”

Quinlan stood there, looking at her with sorrow that she did not have the strength to bear. Lexi cried out when his feelings streamed inside her mind.

“STOP IT!”

She held her head and ran out of the room, down the stairs to the only place that would quiet the agony she had caused him without cutting him off completely. A few people spotted her but she ignored them and opened the vault and slipped inside it. When she closed the heavy door, the Bond was dampened by the thick metal walls. Had they contained lead, she would have been separated from Quinlan completely. But they were just steel, not quite dense enough. Exhausted by the twinge in her mind and that in her leg, she sat on the concrete and cried.

It was too much. And in this instant, although she still resented Quinlan for his disregard for human life, she also was guilty. Why accept to spar Hinata? She should have ignored her and walked away. Had she stayed put in the bunker just like Quinlan had wanted her to, Hinata would still be alive. The two men she had murdered on that highway would also still live. It did not matter that Quinlan had thought her actions justified, what she had done was disgusting. They had reminded her of her father and had paid that with their lives.

Creem had not deserved such a death at her hand either. The only reason she had done it had been to quench her anger. However traitorous they had been, none of the men they had killed that day deserved such an end.

Would Gordo have been spared without her here? She shook her head. No…Gordo’s death was not her fault. But how many had perished because she had decided she wanted to fight in this war?

Her voluntary transformation had robbed her of part of her humanity but this constant bloodshed would surely take away what remained. She lied down on her side and held her knees tightly against her chest. She was so very tired.

It hurt. Her words cut deep inside. Not because she misunderstood him, but because she had gone from accepting death as inevitable to almost wishing it. And that change had been his doing. There was no time for conflict between them. Quinlan did not attempt to follow her, not even when her voice became less than a murmur. First, he needed to collect himself so he sat on the bed and breathed deeply.

Could it really be a surprise that this violence would eventually overwhelm her? Quinlan was not accustomed to this. While his previous loved ones had never been demure, they also had never been involved in in his quest to kill the Master. And while she had chosen to fight, at heart, she would never be a soldier.

Quinlan recalled various instances when in the past her moral opinions had irritated him and his pain decreased. Stubbornly and despite the pointlessness of her reprimands, she had kept reminding him of what she considered cruel or unacceptable. The Dhampir had no desire to become even worse of a monster than he already was but he could not take back the brutalities he had committed so far. Though he could abstain for the days or weeks they had left. For her, he would. What about the others?

Gordo’s panicked eyes as death approached sprung in his mind and he cringed. He had been a good man and his death had been gratuitous. Augustin, Raul, Amir, Marcus…would he look away from their dead bodies as easily as he had done with other humans? Lexi had a gift for uttering words which left scorch marks in his head.

Humans were small, ephemeral creatures compared to Quinlan but their lives were no less precious to them. And her human life had been so very precious to him. When had he turned so cold to the plights of humankind? His younger self, the one who could not bear to see women suffer at the hands of his centurions; the one who had saved Tasa from them, would he despise what Quinlan had become?

He removed his leather harness and coat. Then he took out his sword and carefully honed then oiled it. During that process, Quinlan selected his words carefully. He was a monster and a murderer but he needed her to know why. That he had not always been like this and that she would never be.

His heartlessness had not started when he had been forced to kill Ancharia, his adoptive mother. No…it had come later after his time as a soldier. He had been young and complacent, choosing to marry Tasa and with her daughter Sura, to form a family.

Back then, he had been convinced that he could delay his search for the Master by a single lifetime. Working the soil, playing with his daughter and enjoying wholesome intimacy for the first time since his birth. For a short year, Qunilan had stayed away from combat, from killing, from violence. He had tasted true happiness and when the Master had yanked it out of his grasp something had shattered in his heart.

After slicing at the corrupted bodies of his loved ones, he had burned down Rome. The Master had been hiding there. He had taken Tasa and Sura’s lives and Quinlan would uncover him. Even if he had to sift through Rome’s ashes to do so. All the innocent lives lost that day did not matter because none of them were Tasa or Sura. The Dhampir had loved again after his first wife and every single time he had come to deeply regret it. But Lexi…he could not bring himself to regret.

Quinlan deposited his sword on the bed and finally certain of what he would tell Lexi, he walked down the stairs to find her. The lowest level was dark and empty when he crossed it. His footsteps echoed in this unusual silence but he was unsure she would be able to hear him. Even standing before the door of the vaulted room, he could not perceive the beatings of her heart. He entered the six-digit code and unlocked the heavy latch but did not pull on the door. Quinlan let it swing open only a crack, which was sufficient to restore the fullness of the Bond.

“I would like to talk to you.”

She stayed quiet and it was for the best as he preferred to remain uninterrupted. Those thoughts, he had never disclosed to anyone and that novelty filled him with uneasiness.

“You will never become like me, beloved. You would not let yourself follow that path. In fact, our lives started so differently I am certain this path is out of your reach.”

She still did not speak but inside the small room, the quiet sounds of her heart approached.

“Can you imagine how life amongst men was for me? Every time someone could see past my monstrous nature? It would not stop them from dying. In fact, it would likely mean they would suffer an untimely demise. There were always two immutable forces in my life: the Master with his desire to punish me for existing but also…the passage of time.

“In the beginning…I did enjoy human friendships. If those people did not die in battle or if the Master did not steal them from me…they’d wither away and their souls still slipped between my fingers. They would still leave me behind.”

The door swung open slowly and her hazel eyes appeared from within the darkness.

“I pushed humans away and I turned callous. I was obliged to do so as it was the only way to remain sane. I forced myself to ignore the uniqueness of each voice that ended snuffed away around me or because of me. I had to. And yes…with the years it became easier. Somewhere along the way, perhaps it became too easy.

“But I was so very lonely. My will faltered at times and if I stayed put too long it happened that I would grow attached to those who did not hate me. It never ended well. How could it?”

She stepped outside the vault and he was relieved that her rage had gone, instead, she appeared almost sheepish.

“Within the walls of that bunker, I grew weak. I desperately desired a life with you once the Master was imprisoned. And after that, I would have no reason to endure the passage of time any longer. I would not have to let you leave me behind when your human life came to a close. I wanted this, an existence followed by its natural conclusion.”

She bit her lip and took his hand which he accepted with a sorrowful grin.

“But then he saw you and this irrational vision of mine was suddenly extinguished. So I gave you up and I thought myself righteous because you would be able to have a life with someone who could grow old with you, who could give you a family. A normal life, not one hiding in the shadows with a demon.”

She shook her head fiercely at that last word and mouthed the word “no” quietly. Quinlan’s eyes stung but he did not look away.

“My dearest Lexi, I never deluded myself into thinking I deserved you. From the instant, I kissed you and you kissed me back, I knew how selfish I was. But during a fleeting moment, I was happy again.

“That happiness paled in comparison to feeling the warmth of your soul on that roof. For a split second, there were endless possibilities. For a split second, the passage of time ceased to be an enemy because you would never wither away.”

He kissed her when the humidity in his eyes overflowed. Lexi accepted his kiss. When she hugged his neck, Quinlan breathed deeply into her hair.

“What a cruel joke that my enemy should now become the lack of time rather than the abundance of it. And I hate myself for enjoying the moments we share more than I regret that you will not get the full life you are entitled to. Even now, with a single word from you, I would throw my lifelong mission away to get more of that time. However, as much as my callousness and selfish desires make me a demon, Lexi, you will never be one.”

“Quinlan…you are not a demon,” she said.

She pulled on her sleeve and with it wiped away the tears on his jaw.

“Am I not?” he asked, unconvinced.

“No. Everything you desire is right here but you are still working relentlessly toward a goal that will take it away. It doesn’t matter if your thoughts are selfish, right now, your actions are not. Quinlan, that makes you beautiful to me.”

Those words were soothing and they could only be shared sincerely. His arms closed tightly around his precious one and his self-loathing abated a little. No…he could not bring himself to regret meeting her or to regret the transformation that would bring about her death. There was too little time to allow regret to spoil the softness of her presence.

#quinlan #mr.quinlan #quintus sertorius #the strain #the strain fx #the strain fanfiction #the strain fanfic

1 note · View note

myselfandmeandyou · 8 years

Text

The Black Ops

Chapter 6: The Dirty Blood of the Institute. Not even the Institute's children are excluded from going to school. Government provision to support children's development if they are unsupported by a foster family is set aside - no child is left behind. In the morning, when the Institute's hostel gate is opened, children of different age will walk to the schools they are either assigned to or given scholarship to go to. The building is mainly empty during school hours. Only children below six will remain on the hostel's ground. Going to school poses challenges; unsatisfied chatters whisper in the air, weaved with insults which is usually about how the children are a waste of resources. Even if they are doing well in school, a child from the Institute will never be looked up to. While there are some of them who wish to be fostered, many of the children prefers the struggle instead of discarding their origin aside. This morning is the same for Ahmedi, aged ten now. Squished between two adults, he looks down on his feet, avoiding everyone that stares at him. He is assigned to a school in the next prefecture, which is two stops away from the hostel building. When he notices an old lady frowning at him, obviously she has seen the Institute's emblem sewn onto his sleeve, Ahmedi lowers the cap he is wearing and leans further back from view. He is afraid. Just a week ago, he was involved in a bullying scene - a gang of high schoolers cornered him and asks him to cough up money. Despite telling them that he only owns a train pass and lunch tickets, the teens ignored his plea to be let off the hook and beated him up instead. A few adults saw the incident but they take no action to stop it. Ahmedi feels so lonely; the bruises dabbed in Iodine are a painful reminder of his value as a person. Even if there are many people walking around him, there is not a single person who is with him. The child quickly gets out of the train when the door is opened. He is concious of everyone who walks around him. Even when crossing the park, he tries to avoid anyone that is walking towards him. When he arrives at the school gate, he runs to his classroom and remains on his chair in silence. The school begins when the bell rings. The homeroom teacher takes attendance in uninterested tone, closing the roster when he finishes reading through the table. Ahmedi begins to realize something else; nobody in his classroom has ever talked to him. Again, he feels lonely. "Alright, class. I would like to introduce to you a new transfer student", the teacher announces. "Eh, in the middle of the year?" the girl sitting next to him asks. "School is school", he walks to the door and calls the boy behind it to enter the room. "This is Michio Watanabe. He will be your new friend starting from today", says the teacher. "Wow, are you from Hawaii?" a boy raises the question. "I'm from Japan", answers Watanabe. "Japan? Where is that? I've never seen such a place anywhere on the world map," Ahmedi recognizes the glasses boy , one that arrogantly snorting and deems himself as always right. He is the top student in his year and a precious jewel of the school. "Hawaii. He is from Hawaii. Watanabe here has a vivid imagination", the teacher corrects him while laughing. "That's what I thought", says the glasses' boy. "I'm Japanese", Watanabe clenches his fist. "Why don't you take a seat next to Ahmedi?" the teacher stops them before the bantering escalates. The black haired boy moves slowly towards the chair and sits down. Ahmedi notices the disatisfaction on his face. "Hey, you believe me, don't you?" Watanabe turns to Ahmedi. The dark brunet boy points his finger at himself, surprise that the new classmate is talking to him. "What? I'm asking you a question", Watanabe hisses quietly. "I don't know. I mean, I've never seen any other places outside of Seattle but I don't think you are lying either", Ahmedi replies equally soft. "That's a relief", the Japanese boy sighs, "no one believes me. Not even the driver". "You have a driver? You must be loaded", Ahmedi gasps. The gasps soon ends their conversation - the homeroom teacher calls them out to silence any conversation. "Hmm, care to share what you boys are talking about?" Ahmedi quickly shakes his head and the whole class erupts in laughter. "Then you should listen carefully to what I am teaching, Ahmedi. The government pays a lot of money to put you in school". "Okay, sir", Ahmedi answers meekly. "It was my fault", Watanabe speaks up. "H-Hey, it's okay. I'm okay", the brunet stops the other. Watanabe however shows defiance on his face. "You'd better listen to him, Watanabe or we will start to think that you're a dirty blood symphatizer", the girl with long blonde hair sitting on Watanabe's left warns. "Please sit down so I can continue with my lesson", comes the teacher's command. Falling into silence, Watanabe sits and glares at the desk. At recess, the Japanese boy catches up with Ahmedi who has just picked up his sandwich, milk and graham cookies from the canteen. The brunet flinches when his shoulder is grabbed on, luckily without suffering from any food loss. "Hey, aren't you eating in the canteen?" asks Watanabe. "Um... I prefer to eat near the pond", Ahmedi answers. "I see. Then let me eat with you. I bought a few packets of cream buns... Those in your hands don't look nearly enough so you can share with me because I can't finish everything", says Watanabe. "But, if you hang around me, people will pick on you", replies Ahmedi. "Huh? Why would they? I'll be friend with you and I don't care about what those shallow people think". "It matters", Ahmedi encloses his shoulders, "because I am from the Institute". "What's wrong with coming from the Institute?" "You've never heard about the term Dirty Blood?" "What's that?" "Is it not common in Hawaii?" "I told you I am not from Hawaii. I am from Japan. My family came here to help my grandfather move out from America. Something happened and I am trapped here", Watanabe explains sadly. "Oh... I'm sorry to hear that... but I still think it is better if you stay away from me. Children from Institutes are orphans. And we rely on the government to eat, to go to school... we are like the waste of space to other people and waste of tax money. And we are not pure. I don't know why but every children in the Institute is the product of evil... that is what the child service lady said". "Have you done bad things to other people?" Watanabe asks. "Being born is the evil I've done", says Ahmedi. "It doesn't make sense to me. If you have done nothing, I can be friend with you". "But..." "Look, I am not the type to care about what other people think. I'd rather be your friend than anyone else here. And I am not going to judge you. Do I make myself clear?" Ahmedi blinks, still unable to understand why this so called Japanese boy wants to be his friend. There is a small flutter in his stomach, one he has never felt before. "H-Hey, can you tell me more about Japan? It sounds like a place I would like to visit someday", the brunet lips purses to hide his small smile. "Yeah, sure but let's go to the pond first". "Mmkay".

#The Black Ops #Chapter 6

0 notes