#ncct fluff

[sly-merlin]

killing me - 5 | n.y

pairing : law student!reader + yuta

genre :    angst , mafia au/ arranged marriage au , smut

warnings of this chapter : slight mention of weapons , cursing

summary : “life’s never fair y/n. realise it as soon as you can . it is the only secret for living a regretless life.”                                  

     or              

                          “  curiousity got the cat hitched”

taglist :: (not tagging the old ones because they have read it already bt if u want , lemme know! )  @yiyi4657​​​​ @sorrywonwoo​​​​ @sillywinnergladiator​​​​  @suhweo​​​​ @exfolitae​​​ @minejungwoo​​​ 

{reposting because of the stupid tag problem}

K.M masterlist

k.m 4   k.m 6

tuesday

“How’s everything doyoung?” taeyong’s deep voice echoed through the spacious basement.

“I have double checked, just in case. CCTV’s are handled, there would be no interference, like always, but -”

“But!” taeyong raised his brow at doyoung.

“You can’t deny that yuta is best with knives so why not just let him join as well?” he verbalized his opinion. Despite only doyoung speaking, it was beyond doubt that every single men in the room agreed with him. Yuta paired well with his knives and pistols, proving to be an asset for the already well packed, trained squad.

“It sounds more like you chickening out than your concern for the assignment do!” taeyong replied, giving doyoung a smug smile. Doyoug would rather fix affairs outside the business than being involved directly but taeyong loved teasing him for choosing the more sheltered option.

“When have I ever done that!” doyoung’s high pitched voice earned him few laughs from the room. “But you know-

“I’m not going to fall for your sweet tongue. Save it for others!” doyoung sighed loudly, focusing again on his holster.

“I CAN’T FIND THE SUPPLEMENTARIES” mark shouted from other side of the room addressing no one in particular. Taeil grimaced at his voice, running to join him near the cabinets he was rummaging through since forever.

“What are you missing? And don’t shout next time!”

“Aah sorry hyung. I want some magazines. Last time I fell short of them.”

Taeil nodded briefly and went on helping him in finding bullets for his personalized gun.

Everyone was getting ready for some action at the centre of gangnam. Some protection fee disagreements had led to a clash with some other faction, needing immediate action. A strike at the centre of well-protected city was never easy but that was the reason that mafia in seoul was mostly underground and well hidden. People knew what was taking place in their surroundings but no one was aware of the sources from which it materialized.

“Am I not invited?” all the heads turned towards the rather small metal door. Yuta was standing on the stairs, his body leaning forwards, supported by his hand on the upper frame of door.

“No. you are not.” taeyong said while moving his head playfully, flinging a knife back and forth to show yuta what he was missing. thrill

“Oh come on, you guys can’t go without me. They are called dagger’s troop for a reason.” he descended the stairs, making a dramatic slow entry to the room. “And to handle them, you need me. The dagger king himself!” his exaggerated hand gestures were now irritating taeyong.

“It’s a no again. And besides we have our switchblade prince so we’ll hardly need you.”

“Ten has never handled them before and you need someone experienced to wrap up quickly. He is short-

“Short and skilled who taught you to use knives in the first place, yuta. Don’t make baseless arguments. If you want to do something, then go, sit with the techies. Maybe you’ll learn some tech from min or hyuck or you can join renjun and xiaojun in the med facility. Absorb their energy and acquire some patience! You need it more than they do actually”. Everyone was now focusing on their heated convo.

“Taeyong, I agreed to your proposal that is clearly not in any way beneficial to me, so now, you have to restore me here. I’m needed and you know that!”

“You are needed indeed. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do it without you. You are useful until you are not dangerous. This is underground yuta. An apology won’t make up for something that you’d lose forever and you understand what I’m saying. So please move out.” taeyong’s stern voice echoed in the room again. Yuta wanted to argue back but the words got stuck in his throat. His hands went through his already messy hair whilst he eyed a chair with infuriation.

Glancing one last time at taeyong with his hooded eyes, he hit the chair with extreme force, leaving the room immediately. Ascending the stairs he felt too many emotions at the moment. He has never felt like an inconvenience to his own people before, his most slips ups just going unnoticed by everyone. Others, rather than being seen as a trouble appreciated the expertise he acquired here. Until specific someone decided to barge in!

*******************

Wednesday

“We should eat here more often, I’m so glad the café was full!” yugyeom and yeong nodded their heads in agreement. The three of you were sitting in the garden next to the cafeteria, eating your sandwiches. The sky was filled with grey clouds, the cool breeze brushing your skin and shirts flowing in the wind’s direction. The weather was happy and so were you all.

“Give that scarf a break y/n. it’s been two days. This combination is an eye sore!” yeong told you off earning an eye roll from you.

“It’s the 3rd day!” gyeom corrected her.

“Yaaah! Who bought you the sandwich!” you huffed at him. As you expected, yeong pinched her nose, showing how disappointed she was in you.

“Y/n. you need to start the exercise again.”

“Noooo” you whined at her, wriggling your whole body. you’d rather choose staying in the dorms than doing her fashion exercises!

“Before leaving the room in the morning, you will send me a picture of your outfit. I don’t want to do this like last time so please don’t argue. Thank you and now please remove this fashion blunder” she said everything in a honey dripping voice, reminding you of the last time when you disobeyed her same order.

Yugyeom chuckled with the sandwich still in his mouth before responding to her demand. “Leave it yeongie. The scarf is hiding her sinful deeds. I’d prefer you see her with it, not otherwise. Maybe wonwoo gave a standing ovation worthy performance this t—-aahhh! Don’t hit me doofus.” But you kept attacking him with your bag, yeong was watching you both with a dissatisfied look but it was nothing she wasn’t used to already. He tried to dodge your actions but you were tougher especially with the weapon in your hand. He was sprawled on the ground now, laughs turned into recurrent coughs. “Sorry y/n. y/n

“y/n” you both looked at each other when you heard a third voice calling your name.

You straightened yourself, visage turning jovial, neck craning to face the visitor.

Your relaxed posture stiffened at the sight of the said caller.

Yuta.

Yuta was standing there, beaming towards you. He waved at you, which you couldn’t return because of the initial shock you were in. what was he doing here. Yugyeom and yeong were also staring at the stranger.

Yuta extended his hand for you to lift you up from the ground, but you didn’t move an inch. He inclined his head a bit, questioning you silently. You took his hand to rise up. Your friends were now curiously watching the awkward exchange.

Yuta gave others a toothy smile, waving energetically at them as if they were long lost friends he just found today. And he did indeed looked like one of you. with black polo tucked in his washed jeans, blond hair down and earnings adorning his earlobes, he looked like a normal extrovert student , who could turn people into friendly puppies just with a flash of smile.

“Can I borrow y/n for a minute? I won’t take long , I promise” he blinked his eyes at them , assuring your friends that he wasn’t abducting you , which was, you guess, his first instinct, assuring people of his virtuous intentions . He took your hand and started dragging you towards the concrete path. As soon as you were out of other’s eyes, he jerked your hand away making you groan loudly.

“Why are you so rash? Don’t you have sense? What the hell are you doing here and how the fuck did you find me in this goddamnit big campus!” you growled at him.

“Stop bitching at me! I’m not Johnny or taeyong, watch you fucking tongue in front of me!” yuta fiery eyes bored into yours. The previous cheerful expression already changed into one of frustration.

“Then don’t treat me like one yuta. Simple as that! You might not be used to this, but I am not a servile flatterer.” you retorted, mirroring his aggression.

You crossed your arms against your chest, titling your head to reciprocate his look. “Now say why you are here cause unlike you, I have work to do!”

Yuta scoffed at your words, his hand graciously fixing his now messed up hair. You took this time to give him a once over. He was distracted by the wind, and you by his face. At first blush, he looked devastatingly fuckable but your self-esteem was of far more importance right now. You hated men who had no regard for women and at this point, yuta’s behaviour was fulfilling all the essentials.

“What did u mean that day when you said you’d be leaving,” he was still giving you the same stern look but his voice came surprisingly calm “what is there between you and taeyong that I’m missing?”

His question confused you. You were sure that the conversation between you and taeyong was not so classified. So maybe yuta was there just to bother you.

“See! I’m not at all obliged to answer you. So you better ask your boss. And never show up here again, unless you are called, which would obviously never happen!”

“Just answer me! I’m not here for your bloody lecture!” he tiredly blurted at you. But you were adamant so you just turned away from him.

You were about to successfully dodge him when he caught your forearm and in a flash, pulled you against himself. You were now eyeing his chest, which was soon replaced with his face. He had leaned down to face you, his eyes scanning your now alarmed expression. His eyes lowered to your chest which was stuck due to the breath you had sucked in.

“Breathe baby. I come in peace. No need to be afraid.” he said softly and you’d have believed him, if you were blind to his capabilities. You struggled to step away from him but his grip was tightening enough to bruise your arm. He found your little effort very amusing.

“At least you are entertaining hmm.” he jerked away your arm again, this time you let out an audible yelp. “I just came to check your status, nothing else” he said looking particularly nowhere.

“my what?” You asked him, rubbing your arm to soothe the stinging sensation. You were also perplexed at how he simply forgot about the previous topic.

He feigned hurt, rubbing over his chest “don’t be so hostile. I wanted to know about your status with your friends. The one you were hitting so cutely! He’s one of your friends who know everything about you right.”

“You don’t need to be so friendly. Bear with my hostile attitude coz that’s what you’ll be getting from now on.”

“At least you are acknowledging this union.” his mocking tone was nauseating you. “So when are you going to introduce me or do I have to take the initiative!”

“Stay away yuta. I’m not your laughing stock.”

“Okay, so you are not going to do it!” he gave you a once over mid-sentence. “Fine. I’ll do it by myself.” he started walking down the path to the garden your friends were sitting in. but before you could stop him, you saw both of them coming your way. You hurriedly ran over to them, passing yuta. He was seriously enjoying your distress.

“Shorty, your bag.” gyeom handed you your bag. “We have to go to class .your sandwich is in the bigger one. eat it before going to library and we are going to 67th street again. Meet you there tonight”

“No I’ll pass”

“And who is that hunk? Your secret boyfriend?” yeong questioned wiggling her brows. Before yuta could take charge of the situation, you spoke to fit it to your own mould.

“n-no. He-he’s a junior’s older brother. Just here to talk about his poor situation.”

“Okay. But he’s so your type. You can try something you know” she whispered, your eyes widening in pure horror.

“He can hear us yeong!!!” but she took a back step before you could say anything else.

“Ok bye bye. see you later. And don’t wear that scarf again or I’ll increase the time period of exercise.” she shouted. You showed a middle finger to her which was returned with a flying kiss.

“The scarf! I totally missed it!”  you rolled your eyes before facing his smirking self, his breath fanning your neck hair, his face being too close for your liking.

“You look quite fond of hickies. Just let these one disappear then I can decorate you myself.” he whispered, voice meant only for you to hear.

“Meet you on Saturday, babes. I think I’ll lose my sleep if I admired you anymore!” he whirled around leaving your fuming form behind. it was as if he was fond of having his last say in every conversation.

“These hickies would only disappear in your fucking dreams boy!” you murmured, glaring at his back.

The true intentions of his sudden appearance were masked by his fake excitement but that had struck a chord in you. You couldn’t avoid it for too long. Sooner or later, it had to be done.

starting with your roommate.

******************************

Your vision was almost blurry for the time you spent staring at your door, takeout from her favourite restaurant dangling from your arm. Chelin was inside waiting for you. She was busy these days like any other student but you always had some tricks up your sleeve to get her to agree. Today it was her favourite authentic Chinese dumplings. You shifted from one foot to another to calm your nerves, like it was going to make any difference. You had to tell chelin and this laborious task was to be accomplished today. Now or never, you decided finally, knocking on the door.

The door opened almost instantly.

“Why do you make me walk when you have the key!” she said, pretending to be irritated at you.

You stuck your tongue at her whilst shoving the food bag in her face. Sniffing the bag, her eyes widened, sparkle adoring her black orbs and lower lip trembling to form the most stupid fake emotional look she could muster. You lifted yourself up to flick her frowned forehead playfully. Both of you broke into laughter, the room turning lively.

“What is it this time?” chelin asked you curiously, making her way to the small corner you both called kitchen. You removed your bag and shoes meanwhile.

“I just wanted to spend some time with you and talk, you know. It’s been days since we have seen each other properly.” you replied gently. Chelin was 4 years younger than you in age but only 2 years behind in classes. Her intelligence was hard to be matched. That’s why even being younger than her classmates, she was the smartest. A deadly combo of beauty with brains.

“ohh.” she returned .you reached out for the food boxes and moved to let her sit on your bed. “Now tell me what it is. This restaurant doesn’t deliver inside uni and you have to wait 45 minutes for their delivery and unless you want something-

She trailed off, wiggling her brows at you.

You have always been the most amusing subject for her psychology projects, defying everything her books said. You were suprising, yet predictable.

“I’ve got an internship” you blurted out a lie, eyes setting on the food instead of facing her.

“Nothing new in that. You get them all the time without even applying, unlike us. But what happened to your mantra, Chois or nothing!!!” she declared her surprise.

The only way to make your story credible was to avoid her eyes and occupying yourself with dumplings was the best tactic at this point.

“Yes, but I’m not going to do freelance writing anymore. It’s boring and its paid internship and not a servant service so I’ll give it a try.”

“Hmm. good. But you didn’t spend your precious money just to inform me of another shot right! So get on the point.”

You chewed the food in your mouth, before putting an end to her queries.

“Umm. I might be moving out” you said sheepishly to gauge her reaction. The dumpling which she was about to put in her mouth was now messily dipped in the sauce pot.

“You are what?”

“I’m moving out!”

“But why and where?” she straightened her back at the seriousness of your statement, the food long forgotten now.

“It’s not finalized yet” you stated shrugging your shoulders. “I want a place near the northern or eastern court complex. It’s going to be easy if I start already. And chois are also located there.”

“Which company?” while bundling your lies, you had missed this. Nervously, you picked up the chopsticks again trumping up an answer to satisfy her.

“Aah umm moon industries!”

An audible gasp escaped her mouth. She was shocked at first but regained herself in no time.

“Anything is possible if it’s you.” you knew that this would work. you were a graduate so job offers were not anything suspicious.

“you can finally have your peace.” you made an effort to lighten up a bit but chelin went quite for a moment.

“So you are leaving me. Just like that.” her voice came out as a mere whisper. You looked up to find her glossy eyes, a heaviness in her voice. You didn’t expect her to be such responsive!

“You know I hate sleeping alone.”

“don’t do this chel-

“And who would buy me ice-cream when I breakup with jay again. An- and who will remind me to change my toothbrush. My hangover pills. And moreover how are you going to make your food. Your only source of homemade food is me. You are still scared of the beeping of the bloody oven. You always eat cold takeout’s when I’m not here!” as she ranted, you felt your own legs trembling at her voice.

“Take me with you” she said abruptly making you shook your head at her. You knew she won’t be easy but you hadn’t anticipated this at all. You had to lie again, for her own sake.

“it’s not feasible chelin. I’m gonna be an hour away. but my job demands that’s why I’ll have to move out. you can’t afford living outside of campus right now. don’t make this harder, please.”

And you saw visible stream of tears leaving her eyes. You wanted nothing more than to hug her tightly and cry out your own sorrows but you couldn’t. You were not allowed to express your feelings just yet.

“Why can’t you just stay? I don’t want to live without you!”

“It’s just a year more anyway.” you tried to justify your departure.

“A full year! And that’s different. I’ll also be leaving next year but now it’s just you!”

“Move in with jay, chelin.” you suggested. “He always nags at you for refusing him. It’ll make him happy and maybe your intermittent breakups would stop as well!”

“I don’t want to”

“You do want to. It’s me who’s been holding you back till now. You just don’t want to leave my grown up ass alone.”

“No! I’ve been refusing him cause I’ll chose you over that asshole any day.” she said while rubbing her eyes with the palms of her hands. You both were closer than sisters. She even spent some of her vacations in the campus just so you won’t feel like a loner. She was the closest to the family you could have at this point. And no, you were not ready to let her go.

“When are you moving out?” her sniffling was now replaced with soft breathing.

“Maybe next week” you lied again.

“Are you happy?”

“Leaving you? No. I could never be. But it has to be done.”

“I hope your roommate knows how to cook. Otherwise you’ll die from takeouts. And let’s spend the week together. We’ll go shopping for new skirts. You won’t be wearing any trousers this time!” she proposed, trying to smile again.

“We are still in the same uni and you’ll find me here all the time. The internship demands weekend working hours anyway so it’s manageable.” you reasoned as an attempt to satisfy the budding questions in her mind.

“But it won’t be same”

Nothing would be same from now on! you thought.

*********************************

Saturday morning

The dreadful day came sooner than you desired. Sprawled on your bed, you looked around the small room, which has been your residence from the day you left the orphanage and that you still planned on inhabiting until the end of next year if nothing has changed but now it was better to dust it off and move on.

What were you even supposed to call it! Wedding day? Or effective date? You weren’t even sure of it being a contract or an arrangement! Maybe contract to keep your mouth shut! But it also requires a free consent that was hard to find in your current position. A legal agreement binding you with taeyong’s will or an arrangement! Arrangement to make your life easy while being driven away from the one you were somewhat content with!

You could make any assertion to console yourself.

You were alone this morning for chelin has gone to jay’s apartment. You were somewhat glad that she was gone. Moving out in her absence would be good otherwise she won’t let you go out alone with all your stuff and you weren’t ready to explain her anything yet. As per her knowledge, you were leaving next week. your all braincells were spent while satisfying her that packing a week before was just out of convenience and nothing else.

You got up from the bed to shower your worries away. Following a forty minutes of comforting bath, you opened the small closet to choose something from the clothes you were yet to pack. As if on cue, your phone made a very familiar sound.

Ping. The fine tune was now set for a very fine person.

Little shit: I can’t wait to meet you noonaaa! Please wear something white!

White! You gave your closet and packed boxes a once over. There was plenty of white but nothing white! There was a white dress –with cherry blossoms on it. Then there was skirt, with black stripes. The only thing you had in crisp white was 3 pairs of shorts and sneakers.

And you were definitely going to wear those. After all, jaemin did say something white! It’s not daily that you get to have fun with interpretation.

After contemplating for 5 minutes straight, you chose the red bell sleeved round neck crop top to wear with your white high waist denim shorts. from nowhwere were you looking like someone about to get married! But like your everyday chant- who cares!

You were brushing your hair when a sound from the phone distracted you from flattering yourself.

Johnny: are you ready?

As decided earlier, Johnny was going to pick you and your stuff from the dorm. He was more cordial than doyoung, parking the car just near the dorms.

You: yes, I am.

Johnny: good. Let me in.

And you did. But instead of one, there were two of them. You looked curiously at the shorter men who was glancing you up and down.

“He’s ten. And ten this is y/n.” the said guy waved, giving a sweet smile.

“Hi!”

“So how many boxes do you have?” Johnny asked looking around the tiny space.

“7 in total.” you started explaining. “Two boxes of shoes and clothes each. And other one for the accessories and random stuff. One medium sized luggage of my books. I have yet to pack some clothes from the closet and my desk space needs to be cleaned up as well. So I think it’ll take about 30 minutes to do everything.” you finished.

“Only 2 boxes of clothes?” ten asked, a look of judgement all over his face.

“Yup. I’ll take winter clothes afterwards. My roommate is going to keep them so I’ll collect them later and 3 boxes! I’ve yet to fill one.”

“Aah ok. Let’s do it then.” that being said you showed Johnny the side of the little hallway where you had placed your plastic boxes.

“Johnny, please be careful. The boxes are all rented and keeping upside down would ruin the shoe package. Just a li-“ you stopped midway when Johnny started giggling at your distressed tone.

“Don’t worry. Just pack the other stuff.”

You nodded and started with the packing. The closet was clear of your belongings. The only place left was your desk. You crowded your backpack with laptop, chargers and other stationaries that you kept out as an act to cover from chelin.

Johnny and ten made several trips up and down and finally after about forty minutes, you were finally done.

“Shall we go?” ten asked you. You didn’t reply instead choosing to walk outside silently.

**************************

You reached the destination in about 40 minutes. The area had a different ambiance than the city side. It was not secluded but wasn’t crowded either. The house looked more like a closed off architectural 2 storey building, giving a “enter with caution” feels.

You only took your phone with you as you were going to the new place in few hours anyway.

As you entered, déjà vu took over your senses. The couch in the hallway was jam-packed just like the last time. And if it was not enough, you saw few younger boys coming down the stairs from other side of the hallway. And one of them was too hard to miss.

“Noonaaa” jaemin ran down the remaining stairs coming to stand in front of you. He gave you an electric smile, your own lips curving upwards.

“I told you to wear white!? He whined at your choice of clothing.

You visibly rolled your eyes at him. “And this is white! The shorts and shoes are crisp white. What else do you want?” as much as you wanted to be polite but your nature didn’t allow you to take offense.

“Ok ok fine. I only saw red. This’ll also do. You look good.” he stated, eyeing your sleeves.

“Come inside.” he took your hand, swiftly moving you towards the centre of hall. Once he left your hand, you bowed a little in greeting, hoping you won’t have to do that again and again.

Johnny had told you the other day that few of them were older than you including him, yuta and taeyong. So you had to greet them with respect. you were a women with manners!

“No need for formality y/n. just sit down.” taeyong also descended from the same stairs. You sat at the only unoccupied chair in the room whereas taeyong sat on the arm of the bigger sofa.

“You got everything?” you nodded at his question.

“Ok then. Yuta is arriving in few minutes. Until then if you want, you can go explore the house.”

You shook your head at him. You were sure everyone could tell how apprehensive you were being. A roomful of boys was staring at you like hawks. It was confirmed to you by now that you were only girl in this house. You were fiddling with hands, crossing and uncrossing your legs to make yourself more comfortable but your fidgeting only made others awkward as well.

“Stop making her nervous!” Kun’s voice reached your ears before you could see him. It looked like he came from outside. At the lack of seat, he made a beeline for the space you were filling , sitting at the arm of your sofa. Maybe it’s a habit, you thought.

“I knew you were coming, so I made a special meal for you. Jaemin helped a lot though.” at your mere bob as an answer, kun realised that he couldn’t do anything to make you feel any better. the immensity of the setting was far more on your conscious than others.

“noona , this is jisung and chenle, you didn’t meet them right!” you saw two boys whom jaemin was dragging to stand in front of you. they looked quite younger than the other ones. their charming smiles directed at you finally turned your stoic expression to mirror theirs.

your little interaction was interrupted by light footsteps on the marble floor.

“Were you all waiting for me?” yuta’s voice resonated in the silent room. “why couldn’t you complete this mission in my absence taeyong. It’s not like you don’t have substitute!” he sneered at his leader, looking around to find a seat.

jungwoo got up from his seat, motioning yuta to sit.

“I have to be somewhere else, so the sooner we start, the sooner we’ll get it over with!” yuta offered. taeyong nodded at him, directing doyoung to get something from inside.

doyoung went away and came back with a bundle of files. he opened a file and placed it in front of you.

“you can read it first. i completed the registration forms, your bio data is filled. just check for any misinformation. there was no poof of your permanent residential address so jaehyun got exception for you because you are a student. but you both might need to visit district office as they won’t grant exemption from appearance.” doyoung pointed everything and explained it to you.

the papers were legitimate, you bio data including your identity number, parents name , everything was correct. the only astonishing thing was the name of your legal representative. you thought I’d be doyoung but you were wrong.

through counsel,

jeong jaehyun.

your fingers lingered on his name. it was not possible as johnny told you he was just about same age as you. you looked at doyoung with a raised brow.

“jae was chosen by our own company so he started working under taeyong immediately after graduation” doyoung mumbled and you snorted at his statement. obviously , he had it easy!

“where do I have to sign?” you asked in a small voice.

and you scribbled right where he marked.

he passed the papers to yuta.

with a frown on his face, yuta also did the same. throwing the papers in doyoung’s face, he rose up from his seat, turning towards the door.

“wait yuta” taeyong’s voice stopped him in his tracks.

“what do you want now. do I have to kiss her?” his questioned carried a mocking tone, making you straighten your back. you were just as disgusted at the thought as was him. but you were not throwing tantrums like him.

“the rings. you have to make it believable right” taeyong extracted a velvet rectangular box from his pocket, placing it on the table. he signalled you to open it.

you reached out for the purple box. inside it were two platinum bands with a single diamond shining right in the centre. they were beautiful but meaningless.

“your hand yuta. why do I have to tell you everything?” yuta scoffed at him and snatched the box from your hand, pulling your arm in the way.

he took out both bands, tossing the box in taeyong’s lap. he wore the one meant for him, in his left finger and grabbed your hand to put the ring on. you flinched a little at the force but he didn’t seem to give a shit about you felt.

“oh the ring is loose.”he commented at the band being not of your size. you jerked away your hand to remove the ring, instead placing it in your forefinger.

“you are not supposed to have what isn’t yours baby!” he remarked slyly before modelling his way out. his mouth was acidic, that you were sure by now.

“CONGRATULATIONS ON THE WEDDING MRS. NAKAMOTO!”

and yuta’s words kept ringing even when he was gone. mechanically, your hands were balled into fists, anger rising. you were not feeling bitter at his words for didn’t expect anything better from him. but he shouldn’t have attacked your dignity in front of strangers.

only five minutes had passed and you were already encumbered with the weight of the ornament!

************************

where do you think this is going?? do you like it so far? please lemme know if you get time to leave some feedback!

and welcome all the new readers! i hope you are enjoying this!

[shinescape]

Substitute

Taeil x Fem Reader

Requested!

note: 🍵🌝 ssi, hope you like how this this turned out. Enjoy the read!

“It’s really not that complicated”

You gave your best friend a look, “If it’s not then you should just go. I don’t want to be a heartbreaker to a stranger on a blind date!” You explained and watched as she came closer to you and held your hands.

You already knew something bad was coming when she did this.

“I wanted to but Jason came back and apologised. I have to go and meet up with him.” As much as she is your friend, you hated this side of her.

If she had planned on making up with that ex-boyfriend of hers, why agreed to a blind date in the first place?

It was no use fighting with her, knowing she'd repeat the same mistake all over again. “Send me the details, I’ll cover for you.” She thanked you almost too quickly to your liking and hugged you.

It finally dawned on you that you have to get ready for a date as well.

You were dropped off in front of a cafe, the address that you had informed the driver about earlier. You made your way towards the shop and did a double check before entering.

To be honest, you have no idea what this guy looks like since your best friend only provided you his name and the place of meeting. Her mind was too preoccupied with Jason that she forwarded what her date had texted her the day before.

The bell of the shop jingled as the waiters greeted you with a smile before resuming their tasks. You didn't know what to do but walked deeper into the premises and saw someone wave their hand enthusiastically in your direction.

You looked to your right and left and saw nobody standing except you. He’s waving at me, that must be Moon Taeil. You took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before making your way towards him.

“Hi, you’re Moon Taeil right?” This was your first ever blind date and it wasn’t even for you in the first place.

It felt really awkward but you were starting to calm down after seeing the soft smile from the stranger in front of you. “That’s me, nice to meet you. Have a seat.”

You observed the man for a brief second. He had a very warm smile, nicely dressed and radiated such a calm aura.

You were probably thinking way too far but he doesn’t deserve to be ditched for a guy like Jason. Honestly, your best friend should have come to meet this man instead.

“Are you ready to order?” He asked, oblivious to the fact that you are not his real date.

“Taeil, there’s something I need to tell you.” you started off. His attention was fully on you now. “I’m not your date. I came here as a substitute for my friend and I totally understand if you want to stop this now.”

Nervous was an understatement, you were hyperventilating on the inside. Fingers wrapped together on your lap as you waited for him to say something. He was surprised for a moment after you mentioned that you weren’t his initial date but it turned back into a smile.

How can someone smile so easily in situations like this? You could never, even if it wasn’t the first time.

“I see. So, who was it that took my date? A knight or a prince?” He light heartedly replied.

You looked at him for a good minute. Is he not affected by this at all, what is he, a saint?

“More like a bandit. I swear she’s making a bad choice for not coming here and meeting you.” Taeil already found you amusing with the way you played along with his words and how you had a very annoyed look at the moment.

“Well, I guess I’m lucky that you decided to come. What if you had ditched me as well, I would sit here for hours like a sore loser.”

“Don’t say that, although at first I didn’t want to come. But I guess it doesn’t hurt to try going on a blind date for once in your life.”

You explained with a shy smile and wished there was a glass of water because keeping calm hadn’t been this hard until you saw Taeil and his gorgeous smile.

At that moment, Taeil knew that he was starting to like you. Although he had exchanged messages with your friend for the past two weeks, you seemed to pull his heartstrings more. Taeil helped you order since he noticed how lost you appeared while scanning the menu book.

“Do you like coffee?”

“Not really.” You shook slowly and looked back at the single menu book the waiter handed earlier. Taeil leaned down as well to have a look and accidently bumped your head. “I’m sorry. I should ask for another menu.”

He was about to rub your head as a habit but stopped his action. “It’s okay, we can just share.” Your face was heating up as you reply back at him.

You chatted with Taeil while waiting for the orders to arrive. It was easy to have a conversation with him, he doesn’t talk too much or too little and he made sure to not ask anything sensitive.

“My friend told me you both matched through a dating app. Sorry to say but you don’t look like the type to be doing those things.” You said with a sheepish smile, hoping he didn’t feel offended by your words.

He laughed and nodded his head at your words. “You’re right. It was my friend's idea to create a profile on that app. They’re scared no one would want me which is an exaggeration since you showed up.”

He caught you off guard with that and before you could say anything, a waiter came up to place your orders. You did not expect him to say that and it somehow made you shy.

“I was joking. I know you wouldn’t want to meet me after this. This was forced onto you anyway.” He suddenly said probably noticed how quiet you have been acting after what he said earlier.

“Actually, I’m having a good time with you. I was quite taken aback by your words but it’s true, I showed up. So I suppose you’re one lucky guy.” You twirled your fork on the pasta and watched how he was now the surprised one.

“I think I’m starting to like you. Is asking for a second date too much?” Taeil voiced and you almost choked on your food.

“Are you for real? I mean I’m just a substitute.”

“We can change that. If you’re up for it.” He slowly slid his phone across the table to you.

You never would have expected that he would be this bold, especially with that face. But, it’s not going to hurt anyone if you agree with this. Not even your best friend.

You took his phone and typed in your phone number, still can’t believe this is actually happening. You made a missed call to your phone and passed him back his phone.

“So where should we go next?”

[neosmutcollective]

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[northamptoncouplestherapy]

Are you there for me? Can I lean on you? Will you come when I call?

These questions are the siren songs of one soul calling to another. They are how we ask our partners to reassure us that our love is secure, that our bond is strong.

Our need to know our partners will respond to us is wired into us from birth. Research beginning with John Bowlby's attachment theory in the 1950s and continuing with the most current, state-of-the-art neuroscience today has paved the way for the development of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a couples therapy model created by Dr. Susan Johnson, now practiced by therapists and counselors worldwide.

What is Attachment Theory?

Imagine what it would feel like to be wholly understood, fully yourself without judgment or scrutiny, and to know the person you’re with will be there for you when you need them most.

For babies and young children who have a strong attachment bond with a parent or caregiver, this is precisely what life is like. Each time they coo or cry and their parent answers, their confidence within themselves -- and their trust in their caregiver -- grows. So does their willingness to explore the world around them without fear.

“The only way we can learn our value is secondhand, through the eyes of another,” advises George Faller, certified EFT trainer and founder of the New York Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy.

It's in that powerful exchange between parent and child that we first begin to understand what we mean to others and what they mean to us.

Humans need much more than physical strength to thrive in life. We need to learn our emotional and social relevance, too, which can only come out of relationship with another. This is the basis of attachment theory. However, as we all know too well, not all children experience healthy attachments with their parent or guardian.

For some, the bond can even be described as anxiety-provoking or even traumatic. But there is good news: most experts agree that there is hope for creating a secure bond in adult relationships. There is a chance to find and form fulfilling attachment bonds within our intimate relationships as adults -- bonds which are comprised of true mutuality, fairness, and sensitivity.

"Even when we have early trauma and insecure attachments, we can earn security through our relationships with an intimate partner, a therapist, or friend," says couples therapist and relationship educator Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen.

The Science Behind Emotional Bonds

According to research published by Plos One, a well-renowned neuroscience journal, attachment theory is rooted in science. Studies show that simply holding your partner’s hand can change the way your brain perceives a threat, as well as how you deal with it.

"Our nervous systems are meant to be captured by another nervous system," says Faller.  “Even when we feel the most disconnected, there's still that longing inside of us that wants each other, that knows there's a better way."

As we embark on this rocky road called life, it is the attachment bonds we form with parents, siblings, lifelong friends, and intimate partners that help us better navigate the challenges we face. These bonds impact our nervous system profoundly, helping us to feel calm, content, and supported. They let us know that everything is going to be okay. They make us stronger, and they protect us from pain.

“This isn’t just fluff, either,” says Dr. Johnson. “When we lose that sense of connection, we hurt. It’s painful. Our brain then enters a state of fear because we know on a very gut level that being emotionally isolated is dangerous for human beings.”

What is Emotionally Focused Therapy?

EFT is a leading edge couples therapy that is taught all over the world and based on 50 years of research on bonding and attachment theory. It was originally developed in the 1980s by Dr. Johnson, who describes EFT as a "dance between lovers" with the "music" of emotions guiding their way.

The beauty of EFT is in how it helps us make sense of the painful moments of disconnection with our partners, like when the other person doesn’t come when we call, or misses our requests for connection.

"The goal is to create a more secure emotional bond,” says Johnson. "And our research says that we can do that. We can create satisfaction, intimacy, and trust."

Engaging in EFT couples therapy allows partners the chance to change the conversation, so “I don’t care,” becomes, “I just don’t know how to do this. Help me.”

For example, the EFT therapist might say to one partner, "What happens to you when you see his tears?" While the other partner might say, "I see them, but I don't trust them."

Then, the therapist could reply, "Even though your partner is showing you his tears, you remember that for a long, long time he was very distant and cold. Is that right? Is that when you go back to your anger and list of demands?" The second partner might say back to the therapist, "Yes, you're right. I go back to my demands." These interactions set the stage for the real work to begin.

“You might be thinking things like ‘They don’t care’ or ‘They don’t want me.’ But that is most likely not the case,” says Faller. “Most likely they care very much, but they just don’t know how to show it.”

Instead of focusing on past hurts or senses of betrayal, the EFT therapist will work with you in the moment. They will invite you and your partner into a collaborative space, helping you get “unstuck” from negative patterns and shift your emotional signals.

With EFT, change happens in the present. The therapist will help you and your partner make sense of what you are experiencing now, in the moment, and then will guide you to help you send new signals to your partner so you can “dance” together in a more positive way.

Does EFT Really Work?

Over sixteen outcome studies have been conducted on EFT, and findings show that 70-75% of couples can move from distress to recovery, with 90% showing significant improvements in their relationship.

The key is having a skilled therapist who can guide you both to greater vulnerability, which opens the door to greater connection. When we humbly admit what we need from our partner, true healing can begin. And if we can become masters of this kind of “emotional talk,” it can even help us thrive in life.

When people feel a deep sense of connection and security, they have more confidence to face whatever each day brings. Of course, real and lasting change does not occur unless the couple is willing to do the hard work of reshaping their emotional map.

“A secure emotional connection does not stop fights, differences, or hurt feelings in a relationship,” advises Faller. “But what it does is provide the best platform to deal with those things.”

Also, because the practice of EFT is rooted in research and scientific evidence, couples therapists trained in EFT have a roadmap toward guiding you and your partner to success. They have a map for how your relationship works, how it might have gone wrong, and exactly what tools and strategies will help to put it right.

Our therapists at NCCT are all trained in EFT and other leading, research-based methodologies of couples therapy. We are well-equipped to give you and your partner the guidance you need to heal from past relationship hurts and build a stronger, more resilient emotional bond.

We offer weekly couples therapy, in addition to private marathon retreats, couples retreats, and premarital counseling retreats.

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