#naurrrrrrr
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ambrosykim · 4 months ago
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WHYYY
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anachronistic-falsehood · 1 year ago
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“if you lose fred this makes 2/2 minecraft servers where you’ve lost your husband” TTS OUT OF POCKET
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entryn17 · 1 year ago
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IM FUCKING MOVING
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anaskunk · 1 year ago
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ouch headache,,, wanting to go to the vet right now
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keytaryourheart · 4 months ago
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JONAH RYAN IS ALSO FRUCTOSE INTOLERANT 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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coffeeandcalligraphy · 1 year ago
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every single time I think my sunless ground chapter is too short and I check and IT'S 6600 WORDSSSSSS
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uhzuku · 1 year ago
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So,,,,,, you're into butthole scars aren't ya.
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lefthandedbastard · 2 years ago
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gerrykeay · 1 year ago
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[img ID: A screenshot of a google search result. The search bar says: 'is rodrick heffley bisexual' and the featured snippet result reads: 'Rodrick knew he was bi, he had known it for a while and he thought it just made him cooler.' The result is from archiveofourown.org, from the page for the tag 'bisexual rodrick heffley'. /End ID]
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google siting ao3 as a source is so unhinged
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billwasnot · 3 months ago
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How make art when job ;_;
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tvonq · 6 months ago
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time skip arc and then its over???
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augustless · 1 month ago
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r sneaking up on nat:
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A Feline Connection Part 4
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Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader
Summary: Natasha works together with you to help Widow and learns a bit more about just the kind of person you are.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
Warnings: light angst, violence, hurt/comfort, fluff
Words: 4329
Natasha steps onto the rooftop of a building, her footsteps barely making a sound as she surveys the city sprawled out beneath her. The low hum of night traffic mixed with the distant murmur of voices, creating the familiar backdrop of New York City after dark.
She approaches the edge of the building, her gaze sweeping across the streets below, her mind preoccupied with the message you had sent her.
A quick glance at her phone confirmed the location and time. She was exactly where she needed to be, but there was no sign of you or your little companion yet.
Natasha lets out a quiet breath, pocketing her phone as her thoughts drift to you.
Despite the doubts her training pressed upon her, her instincts tell her you weren’t a bad person—that she could trust you.
But she couldn’t let her personal feelings interfere, not when so much was still uncertain.
Your situation was complicated, tangled in a web of dangerous choices, which meant Natasha had to remain cautious and vigilant.
That’s when she feels a subtle shift in the air, a sudden presence behind her.
Instinctively, Natasha whirls around, her hand snapping out to catch a wrist mid-motion.
Her eyes meet yours, and in the instant of realization, she halts the throw she was about to execute. Instead, the force just pulls you closer in the process, until your chest is pressed against hers.
You stumble slightly, your hand instinctively landing on her shoulder for balance and support.
Natasha freezes, her breath catching at the sudden proximity.
Neither of you move, the air between you charged with tension. The heat of your body pressed intimately against hers sends a jolt through her system, and for a split second, she forgets to breathe.
A low chuckle escapes you, the sound reverberating against her chest. You look up, amusement dancing in your eyes.
“You’re getting better,” you murmur, a teasing smile curving your lips. “This makes it four to one.”
Natasha blinks, still processing just how close you are.
“Four to one?” she echoes, her brow furrowing slightly.
“How many times I’ve successfully sneaked up on you,” you clarify, your smirk widening. “You’ve only caught me once now.”
Natasha huffs, a faint smirk of her own tugging at her lips.
“Two of those times, I was asleep,” she counters.
You shake your head, clicking your tongue playfully.
“That’s no excuse for the Black Widow,” you tease. “What would your fans think?”
Before Natasha realizes what she is doing, she finds herself leaning slightly closer to you.
“I don’t know,” she whispers, her voice lower than usual, “you tell me.”
Your grin widens, clearly enjoying the usual banter between the two of you.
“I’m sure they’ll still be impressed by your other charming qualities,” you respond softly.
But beneath the amusement, there was a flicker of something else in your eyes—something deeper, almost as if you were daring her to close the distance between you.
Natasha’s pulse quickens, the warmth of your body drawing her in like a magnet, the faint glow of the city lights behind you only adding to the moment.
But just as quickly, she reminds herself of the situation. Of where you both stand.
She swallows, clearing her throat as she quickly releases your wrist and takes a step back, pushing away the feeling that had crept up on her.
“So,” Natasha begins, her voice slightly more controlled, “where’s our little friend?”
Before you can respond, something small and quick leaps onto Natasha’s back, clinging briefly before hopping onto her shoulder.
Startled for a moment, Natasha relaxes as she turns to see Widow perched there, letting out a happy meow in greeting.
Natasha chuckles softly, reaching up to scratch under Widow’s chin.
“There you are.”
You step around her, moving toward the ledge with a teasing glance.
“I’m pretty sure Widow’s score against you is much higher though,” you remark over your shoulder, brushing past her as you approach the edge of the rooftop.
Natasha’s eyes follow you, her attention drawn in once more, mesmerized as you gaze out over the cityscape, your features softened in the dim light.
That familiar warm feeling stirs within her as she takes in the sight of you.
Her focus is only broken when a soft paw taps at her cheek.
Natasha turns her gaze to the feline, who gives her an almost teasing meow before leaping gracefully from her shoulder to yours.
You smile fondly at the cat, gently stroking her fur before turning your focus back to the building across the street.
It’s an exclusive club—one of those high-end places with multiple floors reserved for private, discreet business dealings, both professional and personal, and most of the time, not law-abiding.
“What are we doing here?” Natasha asks, joining you by the ledge.
“This is where the control system for the device inside of Widow is being kept,” you explain, your tone shifting into something more serious.
“How do you know?”
You glance at her, raising an eyebrow in return.
Natasha nods slightly in understanding.
“You already tried to steal it,” she guesses, her eyes scanning the building across from you both. “But something went wrong.”
A small smile tugs at your lips, a hint of amusement flashing in your eyes.
“The system can’t leave this location,” you explain, giving Widow a gentle scratch on the head before setting her down on the ledge. “And Widow has to stay close enough to maintain the connection, which means the bomb has to be deactivated on-site.”
Natasha hums in acknowledgment, her fingers resting lightly against the cool stone of the building as she considers the situation. Deactivating a bomb with specific limitations–that’s something she can definitely help you with.
After a moment of silence, you speak again.
“How’s your mission going?” you ask casually, glancing sideways at her.
Natasha shoots you a look, one that clearly conveys her wariness of sharing too much. You had interfered with her mission before, after all, and trust was still a fragile thing between the two of you.
“Let’s just focus on deactivating the bomb first,” she says, pivoting away from your question.
You smile knowingly, understanding and respecting her decision to keep things close to the chest.
“Fair enough.”
Standing beside Widow, you pull out a small pen-like device from your pocket.
Natasha watches curiously as you aim it at one of the windows across the street.
A thin red laser flickers from the pen, bouncing off the glass as you click it a few times.
Widow’s attention snaps to the laser instantly, her tail twitching in anticipation. She lets out a soft meow before, without hesitation, leaping gracefully from the ledge.
Natasha’s heart skipped a beat as she watched the cat jump, and she leaned over the edge, only to see the feline's agile body landing on a nearby balcony below before disappearing into the shadows.
“You sure she’ll be okay?” Natasha asks, unable to keep the concern out of her voice.
You shoot her a playful glance.
“I told you—they always land on their feet.”
Natasha rolls her eyes but can’t help the small smile tugging at her lips. Standing a bit straighter, she turns back to you.
“So, what’s next?”
“Now…” you trail off, stepping closer to her, brushing your fingers lightly against her shoulder.
Your smirk deepens as you lean in, the space between you narrowing again.
“Now we see if the Black Widow can keep up.”
Before Natasha can respond, you shoot a grappling line across the street, the device pulling you swiftly into the shadows of the opposing building’s alleyway.
Natasha’s heart races as she watches you disappear, your movements smooth and precise.
Without hesitation, she grabs her own grappling hook, launching herself into the air with practiced ease. As her feet hit the ground, adrenaline surges through her veins, heightening her senses.
She stays close behind, catching glimpses of you darting through alleyways, your figure slipping in and out of view.
Almost closing the distance, Natasha rounds a final corner, only to find herself alone, standing at the back entrance of the building.
She scans the area, brow furrowing when she doesn’t see any sign of you.
Stepping up to the back door, Natasha tugs at the handle—locked.
That means you didn’t go in this way, but discovering that doesn’t mean it’s not something she can’t use.
With a determined sigh, Natasha knocks loudly, stepping back as the door clicks open.
A confused guard peers out, and Natasha gives him a small wave.
"Hey," Natasha greets with a disarming smile.
Before the guard can react, she flips him over her shoulder with a quick, fluid motion, knocking him out cold. Catching the door before it closes, she slips inside.
Moving swiftly through the dark back room, Natasha reaches the main doors leading into the club’s crowded interior. She cracks the door open, scanning the room for any sign of you but finding none.
Wondering about your whereabouts, Natasha suddenly feels a light touch on her shoulder and turns her head quickly, startled to find you standing there with a teasing smile.
“That’s another point for me,” you say, your tone playful.
Natasha huffs in disbelief but can’t deny you’ve managed to sneak up on her yet again.
Before she can respond, you grab her hand and pull her into the chaotic crowd of the club.
“Come on, Widow’s probably already waiting for us,” you say over your shoulder.
The music is loud, bodies moving in rhythm all around you as you guide her toward the bar. You signal the bartender for drinks before leaning back casually against the counter.
Without missing a beat, you slide Natasha’s hand to rest on your waist, your arm casually wrapping around her shoulders, pulling her closer.
Natasha’s breath catches, her body brushing against yours as her other hand rests on the bar counter for support.
The close proximity between you stirs something within her, her pulse quickening at the way your warmth seeps into her skin.
Leaning in, you make it look like you’re whispering something intimate, but your words are purely business, focused on the mission.
“The only way to the elevator for the exclusive floors is through that door,” you murmur, nodding toward a guarded entrance. “We’ll need a valid room key to get in.”
Natasha swallows, the sensation of your breath against her ear momentarily distracting her.
“You have one?” she asks, her voice slightly breathless.
"Not yet," you reply, leaning back, your eyes gleaming with mischief. "But I’ll have one in a second. How’s your acting?"
Before Natasha can respond, the bartender sets two drinks beside you.
Turning, you grab them quickly before spinning on your heel and colliding with a nearby patron.
The impact sends the drinks spilling all over the man’s expensive suit. He lets out a shout of surprise, his face contorting in outrage.
“Oh! I’m so sorry!” you exclaim, your tone perfectly apologetic as you frantically pat his soaked jacket with a napkin.
The man scowls, waving off your apology and shoving you back roughly.
“This suit is worth more than your life!” he snaps angrily.
Before he can say anything else, Natasha steps in, her arm wrapping protectively around your waist as she pulls you against her.
Her gaze sharpens, daring the man to make a scene.
“It was an accident, and she already apologized,” Natasha says, her tone firm. “Now, I suggest you go clean yourself up before you say anything else you’ll regret.”
The man hesitates, his mouth opening as if to argue, but when his eyes meet Natasha’s steely glare, he rethinks his decision.
With a disgruntled huff, he storms off toward the restroom.
Turning in her arms, you flash her a playful grin.
"My hero," you tease, placing a dramatic hand on her shoulder.
Natasha rolls her eyes, but there’s a hint of a smile on her lips.
“The key card?” she prompts.
With a smirk, you hold up the card you deftly swiped from the man’s jacket.
“Got it.”
“Show-off,” Natasha mutters, though her voice is tinged with warmth.
With the key card in hand, you lead her toward the guarded entrance, your hand finding hers again.
The guards barely glance at you as you approach, their attention more focused on the crowd behind you.
With a quick swipe of the card, the door unlocks, and the two of you slip past the guards, making your way toward the private elevator.
Once inside, the doors close with a soft hiss, and the noise from the club fades into silence.
The enclosed space feels intimate, and Natasha is acutely aware of your proximity, your hand still lightly clasped around hers.
“So, what’s next after we finish this?” Natasha asks, her voice softer.
You lean casually against the wall, tilting your head at her with a teasing smile.
“Already thinking about the future? We haven’t even finished the mission yet.”
Natasha huffs a soft laugh, but there’s an underlying seriousness to her question.
“Will you leave the city?” she asks, her voice softening in understanding how that would be the safest option for the two of you once their leverage on you is gone.
Your playful demeanor falters slightly, replaced by a more thoughtful expression.
“I don’t know. Widow’s grown pretty fond of you,” you say before giving her a soft smile.
“She’ll miss you…” you swing your clasped hand lightly before adding in a whisper. “…and I might too."
Natasha’s heart skips a beat, her eyes locking with yours. The space between you seems smaller, the air around you charged with something unspoken.
Before either of you can say anything more, the elevator dings, signaling your arrival.
Natasha glances away, the moment interrupted as the doors slide open to reveal a sleek, quiet hallway.
You let go of her hand as you step out of the elevator with Natasha following soon after.
You find the door you need to enter at the end of the hall.
There is only one problem—a complex lock is in place, far more sophisticated than expected.
You kneel before it, pulling out a small set of tools from your jacket.
Natasha stands beside you, her eyes scanning the hallway as you start working on the lock.
You can feel her close, her presence like a shadow hovering protectively over you.
A few moments in, the sound of approaching footsteps reaches Natasha’s ears, her posture tensing.
She knows that just standing by the door is too suspicious, especially if someone spots them like this.
She’s about to warn you and prepare for a confrontation when, without missing a beat, you stand abruptly and grab Natasha by the arm, pulling her close.
Natasha’s eyes widen for a split second, but you’re quicker—your lips press against hers, soft and urgent.
It takes her only a heartbeat to respond, melting into the kiss, her hand sliding up to cup your neck, pulling you closer.
Your back bumps against the door as Natasha steps forward, closing any distance between your bodies. You gasp in surprise at the action, the soft and low sound escaping from you as Natasha deepens the kiss.
Her lips move against yours with a heat and intensity that catches both of you off guard while your fingers find and clench at her jacket, pulling her impossibly closer to you.
Natasha’s body molds perfectly against yours as the sound of the footsteps draws nearer.
Whoever was coming stops briefly at the end of the hall, but the sight of two people lost in a passionate embrace seems to deter them, and soon the footsteps retreat quickly.
As soon as the danger passes, you pull back slightly, your breath warm against her lips, your dilated eyes still locked with hers as a flush graces your cheeks.
Natasha feels a rush of heat in her chest at the sight and finds herself wanting to linger in the moment.
“Was that part of the plan?” Natasha whispers, her voice rough and breathless.
You smirk, your thumb brushing lightly against her waist.
“Improvised. But effective,” you tilt your head slightly, causing your nose to brush lightly against hers, your voice lowering. “I’m sure that’s not the first time you’ve had to pretend to kiss someone.”
Natasha smirks, though her voice is tinged with something more.
“Sure…pretend.”
For a moment, the two of you don’t move any further away from each other, the heat still remaining.
Natasha exhales softly as her eyes linger on you a moment longer, and she finds herself leaning in again, slow enough for you to move away if you want.
But you don’t.
Just as she’s about to close the distance again, a sharp click echoes through the hallway—the lock disengaging.
The sound pulls both of you back to the mission at hand, interrupting the moment, and the two of you hear a distinct familiar meow from behind the door.
Clearing your throat lightly, you give her a small smile before turning the door handle and stepping back to push the door open.
“After you,” you say softly, holding the door open for her.
Releasing a steadying breath, Natasha steps past you, her heart still racing from the kiss, but her focus returns to the task ahead.
Inside the room, the dim light casts shadows on the furniture.
Widow steps out from the darkness, meowing softly as she moves toward Natasha.
However, the cat stops in the space between the two of you and turns her sharp gaze from you to her curiously as if she senses the shift of the tension in the air.
Natasha scratches the cat’s head gently in greeting before glancing at you.
“Where’s the system?” she asks, her mind shifting back to the mission.
You move to the large desk, pressing a hidden panel. The surface slides open, revealing a sleek terminal.
“Right here. Couldn’t exactly carry this out the window,” you joke.
Natasha moves to the screen, her fingers quickly accessing the system.
Widow hops onto the desk, curiously observing Natasha before attempting to reach for the keys on the keyboard, but you pull her back before she can.
“No,” you reprimand gently.
The cat lets out a small, disgruntled cry, displeased at not being allowed to assist Natasha in her hacking.
Natasha’s lips quirk up fondly at the cat’s antics before returning to her task.
As she works, you stand nearby, watching her closely, your presence a comforting weight beside her.
For a moment, the mission fades, and Natasha finds herself thinking about your words in the elevator and what happened earlier, wondering if this—whatever this is—could be something more.
But there’s still so much she doesn’t know about you—of the things you’re still hiding.
Wanting to learn more, Natasha breaks the silence, her voice soft.
“What happened between you and them? To make them go this far?”
You lean against the desk, your teasing tone light.
“Trying to dig into my past, Miss Black Widow? Feels like something we’d discuss on a first date.”
Natasha smirks, her fingers still moving over the keys.
“This would definitely be one of the more interesting dates I’ve had.”
You chuckle, running a hand through Widow’s fur as she curls beside you.
Just when Natasha thinks you’re not going to tell her, you speak up.
“We worked together for years. Started off small—simple jobs, easy money. But then, things got darker. Shadier deals, dangerous clients.” Your voice lowers, growing more serious. “I didn’t know people were getting hurt. But when I found out…I couldn’t stay. So, Widow and I ran.”
Natasha nods, her heart softening at your story.
“And now they want you to pay for that.”
“Pretty much,” you say before hesitating slightly and deciding to add under your breath. “That and when I left, I stole almost all of their money at the time and gave it away anonymously to multiple charities across the world.”
Natasha pauses, her brows raising at you in disbelief.
You give her a serious nod in response, no signs of joking or teasing in your expression. Widow meows as if confirming your statement.
Natasha exhales an impressed huff, shaking her head slightly.
“That’s bold,” she states, her fingers moving deftly over the keyboard as she resumes her work. “But strangely, not surprising of you.”
You let out a light laugh, pushing off the edge of the desk where you’d been leaning. There’s a casual ease in your posture, but your gaze lingers on her as if considering something deeper.
“What about your past, Miss Black Widow?”
Natasha’s lip twists slightly, a flicker of sadness crossing her face before she looks up at you.
“Everything I’ve done was revealed to the public when SHIELD fell,” she says, her voice carrying a heavy note of resignation. “So, you know my past isn’t all that much better than yours. Neither am I.”
A quiet settles over the room, the only sound being the soft clicking of the keys as Natasha continues her work.
You watch her in that silence, your mind running over her words and the weight they carry.
Finally, you break the stillness, your tone thoughtful.
“I disagree.”
Natasha glances at you with an amused smirk on her lips.
“And what do you think you know about me?”
You meet her gaze steadily, the playful edge in your smile softening as you speak.
“I know you have trouble sleeping because you’re haunted by what you’ve done.”
Natasha freezes, her fingers going still as her eyes snap up to meet yours, surprise flickering in her gaze.
You hold that connection, offering a small, genuine smile as you continue.
“I know that’s why you spend your life dedicated to helping others. Why you keep trying to fix things, why you’re helping me and Widow.”
As if on cue, the cat meows from her perch on the desk, casting a curious look between the two of you. You chuckle lightly at Widow’s timing before turning back to Natasha.
“I know that you don’t judge people based on past mistakes, no matter how bad they were.”
There’s a pause, the air thick with the weight of the moment.
Your voice softens, and the sincerity in your words is palpable as you add, “And I know you’re a good person. You’ve already proven that to me. More than once.”
Natasha’s throat tightens, and she swallows lightly, clearly moved by your words though she tries to hide it.
Her gaze lingers on you a second longer, searching your expression for any trace of doubt or insincerity.
“Careful,” she finally says, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth, her voice teasing but softer now. “You’re starting to sound like a fan.”
You roll your eyes, though your chuckle is warm, the tension between you lightening for just a moment.
“I think I might see the appeal,” you tease back, flashing her a smile.
Natasha’s lips quirk upward, her eyes softening briefly before she returns her attention to the computer. Her fingers fly over the keys, a determined focus settling back over her as she works.
After a few more moments, she inhales sharply.
“I’ve got it,” she says, looking up at you with a triumphant glint in her eyes. “I can deactivate the device.”
You step closer, leaning over her shoulder to peer at the screen. The proximity makes the air between you feel charged, your breath warm against her neck.
"Great. Let’s finish this."
Natasha presses a few final keys, initiating the deactivation sequence.
Widow, who had been lounging nearby, suddenly stiffens and stands. The cat lets out a disgruntled meow, glaring at both of you with wide, accusing eyes before biting at the side of her body in irritation.
“So…it’s done?” you ask, your voice laced with relief but still tentative as you straighten and take a step back.
Natasha nods, glancing at the system.
“The bomb’s deactivated,” she confirms. “But we should still take her back to the Compound, just to make sure everything’s clear.”
Before Natasha can say more, a sudden alert flashes on the screen.
Furrowing her brows, she analyzes the information, her heart sinking as she realizes the deactivation triggered something else—another similar device has been activated.
Her fingers flies across the keys as she searches for more information.
The location of the system for this other device appears to be hidden somewhere else instead of here, so there nothing she can do to deactivate it.
But she does end up finding some details and specifications about the device.
Her eyes scan the screen before widening in alarm once she sees who the device is implanted in.
Your name is listed at the bottom of the screen.
Before she can react, Natasha feels a sharp prick on the side of her neck. She recoils away and turns around, her hand flying to the spot.
Her eyes meet yours in confusion before drifting to the tranquilizer in your hand.
You flinch guiltily at her accusing stare.
“That makes it six,” you say softly with a sad sigh.
Natasha frowns in realization as her body becomes almost instantly numb, and she stumbles back against the desk, trying to support herself up.
Widow runs toward her, meowing in concern, her paw raising to grip Natasha’s arm.
But Natasha doesn’t pay attention to the small creature, her focus entirely on you.
“Why?” Natasha grits out.
“I told you—one more job,” you say, your voice filled with remorse. “And I can’t have you interfering.”
You give her a regretful expression.
“Unfortunately, I do need to use you one last time.”
Natasha feels the last of her energy escaping as her legs collapse from under her, and she falls to the ground, her eyelids feeling heavier to keep open.
You crouch down beside her, brushing a strand of hair from her face with a tenderness that cuts deeper than any wound.
Widow hops down from the desk and lands in space between the two of you, her cries growing louder in panic as she looks between you and Natasha in confusion.
Natasha feels the soft paws pushing insistently against her as her vision darkens, her body going limp as the last of her strength fades.
Widow’s concerned cries grow distant as the world around her slips away. The last thing she hears before she loses consciousness is your voice, soft and filled with regret.
“I’m sorry.”
And then, there’s only darkness.
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
a/n: thanks for reading!
If you asked to be tagged and I missed it, please let me know again.
Taglist : @cd-4848, @carifletchersgirl, @skittlebum, @queen-of-chaotic-surprises, @ima-gi--na-tion, @rainix13, @gay4hotmilfs, @imaginexred, @caramelcat123, @2silverchain, @nowthisisliving27
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darthteeth · 10 months ago
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i was going to write a little scene in a trambus but then I remembered this is set in america and apparently they are not a thing there 😭😭😭😭😭
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susie-dreemurr · 1 year ago
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They are focusing more on the romance side of Usopp and Kaya huh 🙃 *cries in aro*
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swagging-back-to · 2 years ago
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not to sound like im simping for a male or anything but im literally a horndog in HEAT for bill cipher
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sunuism · 2 years ago
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got a sore throat from wearing too little clothes yesterday………
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