#naughtiness for life!

[haileys-out2]

I’ve been told to make this caption from one of my photos (yes this is me in the photo). I have no control over any of this, I’ve been told what tags to use and how long the post is to be pinned to the top of my page. 😥

The post is up for three months (until June 8) and I am scared about how long I’ll get!!

P-p-please be nice. I d-d-don’t want my life ruined!! 😭😭😭

Update. If this post hits 100 REBLOGS I have to get a larger plug and dildo.

Update 2. You are all mean (specially @count-alta with your 20-odd reblogs)😤😭😭 I now have to get a larger plug and dildo. If it gets to 300 REBLOGS then I have to make a Discord server to show that I am in fact wearing the cage and plug 😭😭😭😭 this is getting both out of control and expensive

Update 3. It hasn’t even been a week. 😢😢 I’ve been instructed to add note milestones. I’ve only been given a couple for now but more will be added if any of you suggest something my dominant likes.

Update 4. I’m back from a brief hiatus from Tumblr while I settled into a new job, and I discovered that this post really took off. I now have to make discord (coming soon) and I’ve been given a new Reblog MILESTONE. If this post reaches 500 Reblogs I will have to start HRT. If it hits 1000 Reblogs then I have to find a man to fuck me on camera 😭😭😭😭. Please be nice.

Update 5: whelp it’s done. My Discord server is live

1500 notes: I have to keep myself hairless from the nose down.

1700 notes: Make an Amazon Wishlist and add 100 toys and clothes for anyone to buy. Anyone who buys them will get a free show with what they bought

1800 notes: my hair must be grown out

2000 notes: I have to resume my BambiSleeps regimen

2500 notes: Practice deepthroating the current sized dildo twice a week

2750 notes: I now have listen to Bambi sleeps every morning, afternoon and night on my days off

3000 notes: Sit on a 7-inch dildo 2 times a week for 30 min

3250 notes: I have to start using she/her pronouns

3500 notes: I have start wearing a bra everyday

3750 notes: Use a large plug now

4000 notes: I have to start an OF (ManyVids and webcamming as well once I find a better living arrangement)

4250: I have to film myself suck cock

4500 notes: i can only ever cum from anal

5000 notes: I can only wear androgynous clothing. Nothing overtly masculine

5100 notes: Sit on an 8-inch dildo 3 times a week for 30 min

5400 notes: Listen to Bambisleep hypno every time I do anal

6000 notes: edge with a Hitachi magic wand for 30 once a week

6500 notes: start using a ball gag whenever I do anal

7100 notes: Once a week I have to film myself anal training and share it to the discord channel

8000 notes: Sit on a 9-inch dildo 4 times a week for 30 min

8500 notes: I must listen to ALL hypno that is sent to me

9000 notes: The Hitachi edging session becomes twice a week

12300 notes: Clicker train myself to get horny to the thought of cock

13200 notes: Use an XL plug now

13500 notes: Only use 10-inch toys from now on sit on it 6 times a week for 30 min, once a week use a 12+ inch toy

15000 notes: I have to get either bottom surgery or an orchiectomy

20000 notes: I have to be spit roasted

25000 notes: I have to be the center of a Blow Bang

32500 notes: I have to be the center of a Gangbang 😳😳😳

[samipekoe]

who's ready for the year of farcille

[tigresslanzhu]

Yay! I was hoping for another installment of this! 🥰

Johnny and Nooshy being British

Well, a sequel to this was long overdue.

---

Rosita: Thanks for helping me with the grocery shopping, Johnny.

Johnny: Ah, it's no trouble at all, Rosita.

Rosita: Okay, next stop is the produce section. We just need clementines, zucchinis, beets, eggplants, scallions and arugula.

Johnny: Got it. Satsumas, courgettes, beetroot, aubergines, spring onions and rocket.

Rosita: (sighs) Being a mom to a British kid is certainly... educational.

---

Steff: You know, Nooshy, maybe I should get bangs. I've been thinking about it for a while.

Nooshy: (smirks) I'm sure Ash can help you with that. (takes a sip of her smoothie)

Steff: She has quills. Why would she know anything about cutting hair?

Nooshy: ...Wait, what?

Steff: I just said I was thinking about redoing my hair and getting bangs. How would Ash be able to help with that?

Nooshy: Ohhh, you mean you were thinking of getting a fringe.

Steff: What did you think I meant?

Nooshy: I thought you said you wanted to get...

(Steff thinks for a moment before spitting out her smoothie)

Steff: (blushing hard) What me and my girlfriend do in our apartment is NONE of your business!

---

Johnny: That zebra in the front row really enjoyed last night's show.

Ash: "That ZEH-bra"?

Johnny: Yeah, zebra.

Ash: You mean ZEE-bra.

Johnny: That's what I said. Zebra.

Ash: Where are you getting "ZEH-bra" from?

Johnny: That's how it's said. Z-E-B-R-A.

Ash: I'm sorry, did you just say "zed"?

Johnny: Yeah, Z.

Ash: It's "ZEE"! "Zed" just messes up the whole rhyme scheme of the alphabet song!

Johnny: Why are you getting upset? I'm just saying it, Z for zebra.

Ash: (pulls out two quills) Johnny Margeson, you are just begging to get jabbed in your British butt!

Johnny: ...Do you mean "bum"? (makes a break for it)

---

Porsha: You didn't mean it when you said "If you all haven't learnt these dance steps by next week's lesson, I may call in Klaus Kickenklober", right?

Nooshy: Nah, don't worry, I'm just taking the mick.

Porsha: Who's Mick? And where are you taking him?

Nooshy: No, I mean I'm taking the piss.

Porsha: EWW! Go to the bathroom to do that!

Nooshy: No, no, it means I'm having a laugh!

Porsha: What, you mean... you're kidding?

Nooshy: Yes!

Porsha: Well why didn't you say that then?

Nooshy: I just did!

Porsha: Okay, now I know you're taking Mick.

Nooshy: THE Mick.

Porsha: Oh, shut up!

---

Buster: Ah, don't mind me, Johnny. Just filling out some papers for the bank.

Johnny: (looks over his shoulder) Mr. Moon, since when are there 15 months in a year?

Buster: Say what now?

Johnny: You're writing the 4th of the 15th on that form. What's that all about?

Buster: ...Because that's how dates are written. Month first, then the day, then the year.

Johnny: No, no, it's day first, then month, then year.

Buster: Well that's just nuts! (sees Gunter walking past with Miss Crawly) Guys, back me up here. Have I written the date correctly on this paperwork?

Gunter: (looks closely) I think you're, like, totally confused. There's only twelve months in a year.

Miss Crawly: Oh, have I been writing the dates wrong all these years?

Buster: (facedesk)

---

Meena: (handing Nooshy an ice cream) And here's your raspberry with chocolate sauce.

Nooshy: Cheers, Meena. Your BF makes some wicked ice cream.

Meena: (licking her own) Oh, yeah, I can't not stop by Alfonso's ice cream truck when I visit Redshore City.

Nooshy: Oh, and you got hundreds and thousands. Good choice.

Meena: ...What? I only bought one for myself.

Nooshy: No, I meant you got hundreds and thousands with your ice cream.

Meena: Huh?

Nooshy: Hundreds and thousands.

Meena: Okay, repeating it isn't gonna make me know what you're talking about.

Nooshy: The tiny rainbow-coloured sweets on top of your ice cream.

Meena: ...You mean sprinkles?

Nooshy: Yeah.

Meena: (sighs) Can't you and Johnny ever just talk normally?

Nooshy: (grinning) Where's the fun in that?

[makemeher]

my account is at 800 notes for the month, thank you so much for your continued support in my feminization 🥰 if it gets to 1,000 (250 notes in the next week), i’ll post pictures of my real face and officially come out as a full time girl!! pretty please make my dreams come true!!

i will be forced to come out as a girl permanently 🥹 please please please ruin my manhood and make me be 100% woman!! 💕

[thesassypadawan]

Last Christmas (Sam x GFReader)

Summary: It's Christmas Eve and FINALLY your family has all gone to bed.  Letting you and the bf  have the opportunity to share a private moment together…something you both have been craving since the start of your vacation.  To be extra ‘close’ and unwrapping all kinds of ‘gifts’.

Warnings: 18+ (minors dni), because all the lovely smut.  Make-out sessh, bit of bumping n grinding, slightly subby emo boy, cold hot chocolate, corny puns, life-changing gift, possibility of being ‘whamed’, and…Sam’s chubby, pierced dick.

Notes:  Happy Holidays, lovelies!  Welcome to track three of my special holiday mix, Last Christmas! ❤️💚

(Merry Christmas, @t03soup! 🎅)

- 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house…  Not a creature was stirring, not even a…  Wait, correction!  Not a creature was a stirring, except for you and your best friend, recently turned boyfriend…

- Sam was so hard, probably the hardest he’s ever been.  At least that’s what you think as you sit there ‘snuggled up’ with next to the fire, all ‘cozy’ underneath a fuzzy blanket.  Thick thighs against, straddling him.  Small hands resting on his chest, his bigger ones holding onto your waist.  Plush lips pressed to chapped ones.

- Quiet moans, the sound of needy whines fill the cinnamony scented air.  Mingling, drowned out by the Grinch’s zany antics playing out on the tv.  Which has been long forgotten, along with your now cold mugs of cocoa that sit abandoned on the end table. In lieu of your own private ‘Whobilation’.

- “Come on, babe…relax,” you coo, mutter in between kisses.  Palms gently groping, massaging his soft pectorals.  Teeth nibbling, biting lightly at his bottom lip.  Trying your best to coax Sammy to open that adorable mouth of his.  “Let me…in.”

- “What about your…mmph!”  Taking the opportunity, you slip past those two perfect poinsettia petals.  Tongues tangling, intertwining heatedly.  Chocolatey, pepperminty saliva mixing.  Forced down his throat with those cute, muffled gasps when you swirl the tip around his candy cane striped stud.

- Parting, iridescent string of spital still connecting.  He pants, huffs quietly.  Gazes at you with glassy, blue eyes.  Faint dusting of pink on his sugar plum cheeks.  “Sssh, don’t worry, they’re all asleep.”  Festive nails trace, creep up his chest…neck…jawline.  Dig slightly, leave crescent shaped imprints in his smooth skin.  As you keep his face still, from shying away.  “Just you and me, a little elf.”

- Before he can protest or question that last remark, you crash your lips together once more.  Scooting closer, pressing your ample bust and tiny tum firmly against his sinewy yet strong body.  Chubby cock twitching, trapped under those vixen panties of yours…that barely peek out from beneath the hiked hem of his ‘borrowed’, ‘not so oversized’ shirt.

- Hand ascends higher, finds and rests on the nape of his neck.  Lilith fingers lace through, tug at his raven locks.  Deepening the kiss; tongues reuniting, meshing.  Dragging him further down into a haze, a trance.  His grip on you only tightens, doesn’t loosen.  In fact, Sam’s palms migrate ever lower…

- Full hips rock, cant back and forth.  Movements sloppy, almost frantic…not your own.  Guided instead by his hands kneading, squeezing your round bottom.  His desperate moans echoing, swallowed up by your mouth.  While he teases himself, grinding and dragging your cunny across his straining erection.  Treating you like his new favorite toy.

- Breaking for air, gasping and puffing desperately.  Chest rises and falls steadily, erratically.  “Feels so good…”  Head tilts and slumps, sinking into the couch cushions.  Orbs blown wide, filled with the fire in his heart.  “So close, sweetheart…”  Maw agape, trickle of drool leaking from the corner.  Wet, snowy spot on his polar bear pj bottoms only growing larger and tackier with each pass.  Snag and pull on his matching piercing.  “Gonna…fuck…I'm gonna…”

- Then suddenly, there arose such a clatter…footsteps starting to pitter and patter on the floor above you.

- Without a second, you capture his lips one finale time.  Silencing his sweet whimpers, cries of resounding joy.  His hips bucking, rutting up weakly against you the whole time.  Only pausing and ceasing when the steps fall silent…when you feel the telltale warmth spreading and seeping completely through.

- “Fuck…fuck…”  He stammers, stutters, sputters.  Slightly pointed ears tinted red, swollen lips turned up in a jolly grin.  Despite the naughty mess splattered all inside his pants.  “Wa-Way better than las-last Christmas…”

- Giving him a more nice peck, you carefully climb off his lap.  “Yeah, because this year…”  Slowly sliding onto the carpeted floor; settling in between his now spread open, still trembling, legs.  “…you gave your heart to someone special.”

- Rubbing his thighs, his twitching bump.  “Now, do you want me to help clean you up?”  You fiddle with his flannel flap, while stealing a glance over at the end table.  At the small, thin box that sat beside your abandoned mugs.  “Or do you want to open your special gift from us…I mean, me?”

- Eyebrow cocked, Sammy follows your line of sight.  “Sure, I'll go with that…”  Reaching for the wrapped present, turning it over and over in his hands.  Weighing it, giving it a gentle shake.  Unknowingly listening to the soft rattle of something that would change his life forever, for the better.  “Probably won't wham too much as the other…right?”

Tag List: @espinathena-17, @myheartwillgoon2022, @laylaplease, @princessswifie, @kenobiskywalker16, @loverforoldermen, @jediavengers, @jameskellysgirl,  @xoxo-hayden-fangurl-xoxo, @laoif, @xhunnybeeex, @morganellison2007, @vaderswifey, @anisangeldust, @fredswrite, @fuckmyskywalker, @these-travels, @valyna27, @shadowycollectionpuppy-blr-blog, @paechyx, @bimbo-doll1206, @supernatural-lover, @bigaoibhe2024, @kllyslutz, @og-baby-ob14, @piastricentric, @elcaballerodragon, @byunnue, @doesntmattert, @soooooohyuk, @sassyenthusiastfart, @gaynslay, @abbygailparish08, @caro-pozos02, @marauder2sstuff, @cjlovesreadingxx, @ala2ilas-s, @rhiluvzani, @cocobear18, @pumpkinpiefilling, @polly-xo, @neymvrz, @jennasco, @lotte08, @roryheartz, @ahszcoven, @mrschristensen13, @anakinstwinklebunny

@hearts4sammonroe, @pitas-star, @sythethecarrot, @naberriess, @steven-grants-world, @valyna27, @elcaballerodragon, @yayyy5678, @anakinsrilgirlfriend, @padme-urlove,  @brattyyybbg, @mrschr1stensen, @rosie-chan92, @beresfordsgirl, @darthdaddi, @icosmiclou

[fudgelling-away]

Let's get straight to the point. Some of my posts have been reblogged with demeaning tags. And yes, I can tell if it's playful bickering or plain nastiness just fine.

I like playful. I do not like angry and condescending.

Now, I wouldn't care if those were sent to me as a private message, but tags are read. by. other. people.

Do not dare to use my art to shame other people.

And if you think I am or anybody is oversensitive (I hate that term) - people look into entertainment for a reason. Life is hard. Everybody suffers one way or another. Many people are hanging by a thread. You never know what will make somebody snap. Life is not safe, so we go and try to find a little safe spot for ourselves with some nice people. When you get attacked there, it hurts.

I remember how it feels to be vulnerable and have the thing you enjoy soiled. I remember the exact moment I left one of my previous fandoms as a child and how ashamed it made me feel. It was like 10 years ago, but I remember what was said and who said it. Nobody was speaking up. There were friends, yes, but silent when something was happening, because they were afraid to be shamed as well.

Years later I have my voice now and I'm going to speak, be it through text or art. And if my work makes at least one single person smile and feel validated, then all the hours I have spent on it have been worth it. It's always worth it.

That's why I do not tolerate pointless cruel mean comments, no matter how small or mild. Get your negativity elsewhere and fix your issues so you don't keep spreading it.

And that is the only rant I am going to post on this blog.

Only more fluff from now on ♡

[kinkycouple2020seven]

We hit 4,000 followers! Thanks for following us and for all the messages. We love them!

[spacedace]

Damian doesn't know who Santa Claus is and Danny tries to gaslight him into believing in Santa

Okay but, like, wouldn't even be gaslighting! Santa canonically does exist in the DC universe, I think I remember reading something about him fighting through an army in hell to give Darkseid a single piece of coal once?

So like, Danny doesn't have to gaslight Damian into believing Santa's real, he just has to pull out the proof (Danny has a binder of everything he knows about the Spirit of Christmas for the purpose of when he eventually goes to war with him, Danny hates Christmas so fucking much haha) and show him evidence that Santa is real.

Probably ranting the entire time about how much he hates the guy & Christmas and it's obvious that this is Danny's arch nemesis. His one true villain above all others. Pariah Dark? A nuisance. Dark Dan? Just a tuesday. Santa? That motherfucker is the bane of Danny's existence and he will pay for what he's done (spread Christmas cheer).

And Danny's the newest member to the family. Damian's been encouraged to get to know his new brother and try and bond with him a bit, make him feel like part of the family. So, obviously, the best way to do that is to help Danny in his quest for vengeance.

And of course Tim & Jason end of getting roped in on this. Damian's grown since he's first came to live with his father. He still is a little brat to his older brothers - he's the baby of the family it's his right - but he doesn't actively hate them anymore and can admit when their particular skills would be useful. Tim is the best at strategizing, and Jason is a combat master with access to all sorts of weapons. With all of them working together Santa has no chance, they will destroy him.

Which all just makes me think of something like this happening lol:

“What…uh, what are they doing?” Duke glanced between the chaos unfolding in the family room to where Dick was calmly seated in his favorite chair, sipping idly at a cup of coffee.

“Sibling bonding.” Dick said. There was that specific aura of calm around him that said that he’d already gone through several crisis and all the stages of grief at least twice. Considering the calamity and chaos the eldest batkid had seen over the years - and especially the last few months since Bruce officially adopted Danny and brought him into the fold - it was a bad sign that he’d reached this particular state of Done (TM) before noon. The earliest Dick even woke up was two in the afternoon.

Duke contemplated turning around right then and there - the particular combination of people all excitedly feeding off each other’s feral energy on the other side of the room was a catastrophe in the making he didn’t want to be anywhere near when it finally breached containment and spilled out into the wider world - but unfortunately he was cursed with the curiosity that afflicted all members of the bat clan.

“It looks like they’re plotting to try and kill Santa Claus.”

Dick turned to look at Duke fully for the first time since he’d entered the room. He had the eyes of one that was deeply haunted by the horrors they had witnessed. On the other side of the room Tim was ranting about anti-magic tech while Danny, Damian and Jason argued over what weapons would be most effective against a demi god. There were schematics of what looked worryingly like a rocket launcher looking device that - if the scribbles on the whiteboard someone had drug into the room where to be believed - was going to be rigged to shoot ecto-grenades.

“Danny hates Christmas.” Dick said, and Duke noticed for the first time that his hands around the coffee cup were faintly trembling. “He’s declared Santa is his arch nemesis.”

Duke blinked, glancing over to the others long enough to see Danny start frantically scribbling the words Christmas Nuke on the whiteboard. No one else was trying to erase it. Tim looked worriedly contemplative. Damian and Jason where both nodding in agreement.

He was going to regret this. “But Santa isn’t real?”

Dick’s eyes gained a faintly manic glean, and Duke could faintly hear the sound of porcelain creaking warningly beneath the desperate hold he had on his coffee cup. “That’s what I thought!” Dick said, with enough cheer to make Duke flinch back instinctively. “But apparently he is.” A distinct crack appeared in the cup, coffee dripping down into Dick’s lap. “And apparently they’re going to war with him!”

Well, Duke considered, at least that explained why he caught the four of them burning down the giant Christmas tree in the city center last night.

[l3irdl3rain]

I'm so sorry for the loss of Chester. I'm sure he finally got his matches and is committing all the arson his devious heart pleases *hugs*

heaven for him is just burning down my house over and over again

[whattriangle]

Just a doodle

[kinkycouple2020seven]

Happy Sunday funday!! 🔥😈

[lispenardlover]

the happy years vs dear comrade

[anja-the-sane-panda]

*slides in wearing a blue party hat snowflake pattern*

Today’s my birthday so I just wanna thank you all for sticking around and dealing with my shenanigans this year. Especially since this year has been a toughie especially for my mental health.

Happy Holidays, and may the song you want super badly to be in Just Dance come to the game soon.

[consultingfujoshi]

2023 good omens fandom would never survive may 2019 when the entirety of season 1 got leaked on the emmy fyc site and me and several other blogs spent the entire month slowly feeding people spoilers and screenshots and we all shared the fucking google drive folder with the leaked episodes still with a watermark over them and spoke to each other about it publicly in riddles and it was the best month of our fucking lives. like we did that shit because it was funny it was like we were all staying up past our bedtime and getting away with it. you are all so boring now

[winterspiderpurrs]

Bucky and Peter have been together a while. But their schedules don't often let them actually be together much.

Between college classes, spidermaning, and interning at SI, Peter doesn't have a lot of time.

Bucky going on missions, working with training, and just relaxing when he gets a moment.

They see each other once or twice a week unless their schedules aligns just right.

How do they keep things spicy between the two?

Dirty emails.

Bucky writing these long raunchy ass emails that has Peter is such a fit when he gets them.

He loves it.

Bucky has always had a mouth on him, but him putting it on paper is taking it to the next level.