#nathan voice You guys are doing great. i’m gonna make you one of my freaks.

[fatyaoi]

ohhh ok. so is it just every nathan fan. is that whats happening. i did not realize “nathan tummy time” was an entire genre of person. i did not realize it was this prolific. theres like a full cast of nathan freak katamari cousins.

[bluewormonastring]

My live reactions to season 2 (episode 2)

SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY KIDS READ AT UR OWN RISK

Okay here we go we’re totally fine doing great cool calm and collected not gonna freak out even tho I know my baby Lu Lu comes back this episode we’re fine

Starting off with a fuckin bang with the painted bride and groom from the trailer

Aww baby pushed them into the ocean

I love Su

“YESSS QUEEN IVE ALWAYS SAID SO” lmao ily buttons

Her voice is so hot omg

I love the ship of women iconic

Omg good vibes

“Your energy” that was a very lesbian thing to say

OH MY GOD LUCIUS

LU LU

MY ANGEL LUCIUS MY PRECIOUS NATHAN FOAD I LOVE YOU IVE MISSED YOU

PETES FACE AWWW

PHAHAHAHAH THEY LOOK SO DISGUSTED AT THE GUYS DOG PILE THATS SO GOOD

“And now you have a beard” “do you hate it” (HE LOOKS SO GENUINELY WORRIED AWW BABY AS IF PETE COULD EVER HATE SOMETHING ABOUT YOU) also the fact that I know Nathan was so thrilled abt getting to have the beard lmao “I love it”

AWWWWWWWWWWWW STOP I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THIS REUNION IS SO GOOD

STOP YOU CAN TELL HOW HEARTBROKEN PETE WAS AND HOW RELIEVED HE IS

The cut to the rest of them just watching lmaooooo

“What exactly happened to you Lucius” “I was- I fell… off the ship” NOT HIM PROTECTING STEDE FROM HEARING WHAT ED DID AWW

“Lucius… I’m overqualified for towels”

YES BUTTONS U ICON

“I had a very rough night last night” lmaoo I was waiting for that

OH MY GOD HE HAD TOLD FRENCHIE TO KILL IZZY WHAT THE FUCK

NO

Oh my god is it gonna be iz in the walls instead of Lucius lmfao

Oh my god Izzy resisting their help lmao Izzy shut the fuck up u stupid little boy I love you

“WHICH ONE” “OH DEFINITELY THE FUCKED UP ONE I THINK THAT ONES ALRIGHT” “IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT” PHAHAHAHHA

Idk who this girl is but she’s v much giving Edward Teach (but like happy in love Ed teach not heartbroken Ed teach) but w tits and I’m here for it

Well this is disgusting

Did NOT need these sound effects tyvm

“Maggie… Jane… tif… give us the room” OOOO LU IS IN A MOOOOOD

“FUCK YOU THATS HOW I AM” Lucius we do not need this hostility right now

I guess he wasn’t protecting stede cause he’s fine w saying it now

*AGGRESSIVE TAPPING* “HE PUSHED ME”

“You broke him when you left and then he broke me. Everything that’s happened to me since has been your fault” shiiiiiiiiiiit lu

THAT DRAMATIC STOP IN THE DOOR IK WE FEEL SHITTY RN BUT THE GIRLBOSS NEVER STOPS W NATHAN FOAD

“Right what have we here” “hey 😋🙂😄” ily again ed

*genuinely concerned* “is someone injured” ed lmao

ED UR SCARING ME STOP

Aww Izzy my baby

“What’s your interest in this guy anyways he seems like a bit of a dick” “He is. But he’s our dick” AWWW

STOP I CANT HANDLE THE FLASHBACKS AWW JIMMMMMMM

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD

I THOUGHT THEY WERE HOT TOGETHER BUT I WAS LIKE NO NO NO THE WRITERS WOULDNT DO THAT TO OLU

“What was that for” lmaooooo

JIM NO WHAT I DIDNT THINK THEYD KISS HER BACK WHAT THE FUCK DONT DO THIS TO OLU RIGHT AFTER A FLASHBACK THING ABOUT HIM

HOW COME THE ONE FUCKING TIME IM LIKE “OH THEYD BE CUTE TOGETHER” AND IT ACTUALLY HAPPENS ITS FUCKING CHEATING NO JIM THATS NOT COOL JESUSSSSSS

Holy shit Edward leave Izzy the fuck alone he can’t defend himself right now

Ed had these like moments of going back to how we was before

Is su gonna try to get with him

I LOVE THAT OTHER GIRL I DONT KNOW HER NAME I FORGOT IT BUT I LOVE HER

“We eat but how often do we taste”

*holding a joint* “yeah the broths pretty wild” lmao Lucius ur such a little bitch I love you

Nathan Foad is like actually acting now that’s crazy like he’s not just being his goofy little self

“Jesus christ stede keep your pants on”

“so babe you smoke now?” “Do I? Oh yeah I must’ve picked it up somewhere or something I don’t know” LU UR SO EMO OMG

“Look at his beard Mr cool” stede is using every tool in his cute little handy manny tool chest to get Lucius to like him again and he’s failing spectacularly

“Being captained by jiang it really makes the shitty pathetic incompetent captain stand out”

“My spicy little rat boy” “NEVER FUCKING CALL ME THAT” holy absolute shit lu. My jaw dropped so fast. I simply cannot wait to hear the undoubtably traumatic backstory behind that name. Something to do w what he had to do to survive for sure

“I’m gonna go… fix something… in towels” “what the hell is going on in towels”

Omg Izzy’s awake

“Are you here to take the other one?”

Holy shit what’s going on

Oh my god both of them are so fucking mentally ill it’s insane

Ed’s guilt once again showing itself in fucking insane ways

Fuck offff no matter how much Ed has hurt Izzy he can’t kill him because he LOVES HIM FUCKKKKKKKK

Oh Izzy that crazy laugh you wacko I love you “too scared eddy? Too scared to do it yourself? Eh? Go on clean up your own fucking mess I’m not doing it. I’ve been doing it my whole fucking life.” YES IZZY TELL HIMMMMMM

HOW FUCKING DARE U TRY TO MAKE ME THINK IZZYS KILLED HIMSELF HOW DARE YOU NO THATS SO MEAN

“I loved you” I’m sorry but absolutely fuck all the way off Ed. No. Fuck you. I don’t care.

I can’t tell what he said after I loved you ngl

“Take the day off brother. Go live” TURNS RIGHT THE FUCK INTO A STORM WHILE STARING OFF TO THE HORIZON RESTING HIS CHIN ON HIS ARM LMFAO

“Oh stede bonnets giving me relationship advice”

“I’ve got an ex wife, 2 messed up kids probably” lmfaooo

“Sounds like you’re quite the fuck up pal”

“If I start I don’t know what’s gonna come out.” Aww my precious baby boy but I’m sorry I can’t take Nathan foad seriously like look at the goofy little dude being serious it’s weirdddd

“One doesn’t just survive at sea. One has to do things… horrible things” IF SOMEONE FUCKED HURT HIM ISTG

AH WHAT THE FUCK THEY ATE THE DOG AND HE BECAME THE DOG THATS SO MUCH MORE GROSS THAN I THOUGHT ITD BE THATS HORRIBLE

Stede desperately trying to take back telling him to say it lmao

OH MY GOD THE PUPPET THING I HATE THAT I WAS HOPING THEY WERENT GONNA GO DOWN THAG ROUTE JESUS

“IT WASNT EVEN A CHILD IT WAS JUST A VERY SMALL MAN 🤦‍♂️”

EDWARD YOU GOT RID OF THE WHEEL OH MY GOD

“I WANT YOU TO FIGHT HER TO THE DEATH” Edward oh my god

Aww yay lu is chill now

“I think I hurt him pretty bad” “maybe. Maybe the time he spent with you is the best it’s ever gonna get for him”

“AWWW THATS TOO BAD” “YOU WERE GONNA DO IT ANYWAY” “I WAS HAHGAHA I WAS”

Living for the dramatically being swept in different directions

YES IZZY HANDS

OH MY GOD WAIT HE HAD ACTUALLY DONE IT HED BE DEAD WHAT NO I DONT LIKE THAT

Oh shit the fuckin cannonball

“Finally” nooo I don’t like that

Why did I flinch when they brought it down tho

See you kids next time xX

My live reactions to season 2 (episode 1)

SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY KIDS READ AT UR OWN RISK

Holy shit I’m so excited

Oh my god

Oh my god

Oauxbwkxjwhz

LOVE THE BLACK SCREEN W A SHARP CUT TO THE BEACH 10/10

OMG WE GET THE STEDE AND IZZY BEACH SWORD NOW? SO SOON? YOU SPOIL ME OFMD

Omg he’s been stabbed this is for sure a dream sequence

STEDE THATS MURDER EVEN IF ITS JUST IN YOUR HEAD

“You absolute twa….” BEST DYING WORDS EVER ILY IZZY ALWAYS AND FOREVER

THE SLOW RUN TOWARDS EACH OTHER OMG

AND STEDES FACE AND HIS VOICE AND AWW BABY

AWWW THE WAY THEY CRASHED INTO EACH OTHER

“BABE” HA FOWIHXBWNA I WAS NOT PREPARED

“I KNEW YOUD FIND ME LOVE”

“Fuckin love the beard mate”

Oh we’ve started farting lovely

OH MY GOD I WASNT PREPARED FOR HOW ID FEEL WHEN IT CUT TO HIM WITH EVERYONE AWW MY BABIES IVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH

“Cant be worse than you moaning ‘Ed oh ed’ all night” ILY PETE

Iconic title screen as always

“DEAR ED” AHHHH

SPANISH JACKIE ILY

Instantly taking an interest in the Swede as we knew would happen but still iconic

Ugh I love Leslie jones did I mention I love Leslie jones

Nat looks so scared aww baby

I love wee John being security

And host stede aww baby

I live for black Pete dealing with working in customer service

And all of them tbh

Aww poor buttons he needs his ocean and Livy

I’m ngl for a second I was like “where’s Fred armisen- oh wait”

ITS THE I THINK OF YOU OFTEN LINE YESS

HELLO YES I ADORE IZZY HANDS HE CAN DO NO WRONG IDC WHAT YOU SAY IVE MISSED MY BABY BOY

Ahh the wedding

“Demon? *shakes head* I’m the fucking devil” AHH

Guys were only 6 minutes in and this post is already long as shit so buckle up (if ur actually reading it lmao my ass would be like nope too long”

THERES MY VICO HELLO VICO ILY AND MY JOEL FRY ILY BABIES

Ah yes ye olde put trauma in a box in lock it

Awww fang baby boy someone give him a hug find him Lucius

Omg it’s the “you dumped him” scene

“Did everyone get some cake” because he’s still our precious little angle

HE JUST SNORTED RHINO HORN IS THAT A THING WAS THAT A THING IN HISTORY HUH

NO ITS THIS SCENE I DONT WANNA WATCH MY BABY BE SAD

Yes hello I love Izzy hands I would protect him with my life little baby boy

Vico looks so done w his ass

Someone give my baby a hug

Ily fang

The tears in his eyes during “unhand me” aww Angel

AWW IZZY

CONNOTHAN O NONNATHAN WE LOVE YOU YOU PRECIOUS LITTLE BOY UR ABSOLUTE PERFECTION YOU ANGEL

I love the friendship Jim and that girl have

Oh shit Jackie

“BOO CAKES” JACKIE

Stede honey you’re not intimidating

“I know that guy we had breakfast together” “you’ll be having a lot of breakfastes together” “oh okay 🙂” ily Swede

HIM DOING AN ED IMPRESSION LMAO “could be. Could be mate.”

“You’re my hero” 😞😕🙂😏

Swede bein a cute lil double agent

AWW SWEDE “my time with Jackie has been the happiest of my life. Her love has helped me locate parts of myself I didn’t even know existed and reclaim others that I have long missed” ILY

“Tonight is my turn to perform the husbandly duties”

“That’s another toe” ED YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM LEAVE MY BABY ALONE

“Who am I to you” aww Izzy Angel baby he’s accepting it OMG “I have love for you Edward” IZZY YOURE SAYING IT OUT LOUD IM SO PROUD OF YOU BUD

IZZY YOU DID NOT JUST SAY TALK IT THROUGH YOU HAD TO HAVE KNOWN THAT WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA

OMG AND THE SHIFT IN THE MUSIC AS SOON AS HE SAID IT

IZZY RUN

RUN MY BABY BOY RUN

“As a crew” OH EDDDDD

ED DONT POINT A GUN AT JIM

OR ANYONE ELSE

THAT INCLUDES YOURSELF EDWARD TEACH BORN ON A BEACH

“They think ya crazy” cackling his face omg

Go taika absolutely slaying this scene

The way the camera is all like jittery is so good

Jim’s like “beard” makes their chin look like… not caved in but idk like it looks like they have a rly bad overbite yk

“Everyone knows why” “I don’t. Enlighten me” “your feelings for stede fucking bon-“ *GUNSHOT* ARE U SHITTING ME EDWARD NO WE DO BOT SHOOT FRIENDS

OH MY GOD HE MADE FRENCHIE FIRST MATE HOLY SHIT

Oh my god Izzy my poor baby Izzy oh my god how dare you hurt my Izzy

LMAO SWEDE

“FUCK THOSE HAMMIES UP” LMAO

There’s like no way there’s actually anything valuable in that chest

WE GOT TO SEE HER TAKE A NOSE FOR THE NOSE JAR YESSS

OH SHIT INDIGO

“Now give me back my blue shit STEVE”

Susan’s hot

DONT HURT SWEDE

Oh good okay we’re cool

I feel like she’s lying tho

But for now we’re cool

AWW FANG

AWW JIM COMFORTING FANG

“WANNA HEAR THE STORY OF THE WOODEN BOY” AWW

Living for vico using they them for the puppet

“DO THE VOICE” AWW

OMG VICO THATS ICONIC

AWW YAY THEYRE LAUGHING NOW THOSE ARE MY BABIES YAY

Living for buttons reuniting with the ocean

Okay roll credits cheers yall see you next episode

[seanfalco]

Girl Talk | Misfits Timeline Anomaly’verse

Word Count: 4.5k Warnings: smut, oral (f!receiving), voyeurism a/n: Happy Thirsty Thursday from @super-unpredictable98 & I 💚

——

Lydia stared at the Community Centre through the window, as she often did, her fingers dancing over guitar strings as she tried not to disturb the others still asleep in the bedroom. 

"I just wanna tell you that you're really pretty girl, I just wanna know if you will let me be your world.  I just know you got to taste like candy, candy girl.  I just wanna tell you that you're really pretty girl..."

Win stirred as she heard the faint sound of singing coming from the other room and she sat up, rubbing her eyes. Looking down she noticed right away that Lydia was gone, both Nathans sprawled out snoring softly. Carefully extricating herself, Win gently brushed her fingers through her Nathan's curls as she slipped off the bed, grabbing one of the boys’ hoodies from the door handle to wrap around herself as she snuck out to the other room, drawn by the sound of Lydia's voice.

"I just wanna tell you... Jesus Christ!" Lydia yelped, clutching her chest when she noticed Win standing next to her. She immediately turned red as if somehow her girlfriend could read her mind through the song. "Sorry, did I wake you up?"

Win smiled at the sight of Lyddie's burning cheeks, sitting down next to her, and tucking her bare legs under her. "Yeah, but it's okay. Your lovely voice is the best thing to wake up to," she said, tucking her hair behind her ear as she leaned in to brush a kiss to Lyddie's cheek. "Were you perhaps, singing about me just now?" she asked innocently.

"Yes..." Lydia admitted, unable to look Win in the eye, but leaning into her touch. "I- God, I'm terrible at this, you're so charming and I feel like everything I say just sounds dorky." 

Another stolen song, she should probably tell Win that as much as she meant those words, they weren't hers, but maybe now wasn't the best moment for that…

"I don't think you're dorky, and you're far from terrible at this..." Win murmured, tilting her head. "You've thoroughly charmed me."

"Maybe you just have a soft spot for former nerds and delinquents," Lydia placed her hand on the back of Win's neck, closing the distance between them with a tender kiss.

Win sighed as she kissed Lydia back, savouring the moment.

"Don't you know, I'm a delinquent too," she teased, "and a closet nerd." At the skeptical look on Lydia's face Win's grin grew. "Oh yes, there's much you have yet to learn about me, Lydia Bellamy."

"That makes a lot of sense, I have a thing for bad girls," Lydia chuckled, putting the guitar away. "But why don't you tell me, then? What do I have to learn about Winrey Lewis in order to become an expert?"

Win smirked, "Oh jeeze, where to start," she mused, twisting a strand of Lyddie's hair between her fingers. "Well, I love a good horror movie... and the bad ones too," she said, thinking. "I read comic books, the dirty ones," she confessed with a laugh. "and I stole the yellow Fender that I use for all my shows," she finished. "What more do you want to know?" she asked.

"First of all, yes, bad horror movies are great. Second of all, I read the superhero ones, but I'd love to try yours. And third of all, that is so fucking sexy..." Lydia groaned, holding Win against her chest as she leaned against the window.

"Tell me a little about your family, how are they? I can't wait to meet them."

Win's smile faltered as Lyddie brought up her family and she went quiet. "Ahh, yeah... my family," she mumbled awkwardly, sighing. "You don't wanna meet them. Trust me."

"Oh," Lydia suddenly felt horrible for even bringing it up. "What's the deal with them? T-t-that is if you wanna tell me, if you don't that totally fine, I understand."

Win felt Lydia tense next to her and she quickly sat up, looking at her girlfriend. "My mum died when I was 16. She had cancer. She fought it for three years and we thought..." she shook her head, "It came out of remission and it took her quickly.”

“After that my dad, he... he changed. He remarried shortly after, like he couldn't even wait for my mum to be put in the ground. And my step mum... she's such a cunt. Just ask Nathan."

Win shook her head, a bitter twist to her lips. "And then there's my step sister, Delilah. She's a year older than me, and the reason I ended up in community service."

"I'm so sorry, Winnie," Lydia didn't even know how to react, she thought about her family all the time and lamented what happened when she left, but at least they were all alive and well. "I shouldn't have said anything, I'm really sorry..." Lydia suddenly stopped when she realized something. "Your step sister, you say her name is Delilah, isn't she the one who threw that party last year?"

"Yeah, you know about that?" Win asked, sitting up straighter, curious as to how Lyddie knew.

"That fucking bitch! She's friends with my bully's older sister, well... one of my bullies. After that fight in the bowling alley, your step sister and those two slags made my life a living hell!" Lydia groaned furiously. "They filled my locker with mice, they told everyone I had sex with our bio teacher, they dumped a bucket of piss on me... That was just the first month."

"Wait, what!" Win gasped, her brows drawing down, her mouth falling open. "That cunt," she growled under her breath. "Lyddie, I'm so sorry!"

"Yeah, it was a difficult year... Jesus, I understand why you don't want me to meet them," Lydia shook her head, remembering all the laughs, the stares, and the name calling.

"Hey," Win murmured, slowly wrapping her arms around Lydia's shoulders, an idea coming to her. "Maybe we should go see them sometime, if only t'give Delilah a little taste of her own medicine," she laughed.

"Yeah... I would like that," Lydia smiled, the idea of avenging her younger self was tempting. "And I think your step mom is gonna have a fit when she knows you're in a quad, we can kill two birds with one bullet."

Win laughed. “My dad already hates Nathan, especially after the scene he caused the first time they met and then when we all went over to get my stuff when we got our flat he told him he’d knocked me up.”

"That is the most Nathan thing I've ever heard," Lydia snorted with laughter. "Oh my God, I wish I could've seen his face... I love when Nate pulls this kind of stunt, it's kinda hot."

“He looked like a fish,” Win laughed as she remembered how he’d open and closed his mouth several times, his face turning progressively redder. “And you’re right. It is kinda hot,” Win agreed with a sigh, feeling affection wash over her for her Nathan.

"I wish I could introduce you to my parents, my mum might... have some issues, but my dad would love you!" Lydia smiled sadly, a sharp sting in her heart from thinking about him. "He'd probably tell you my good taste in women comes from him."

“Tell me about him,” Win prompted gently, resting her head on Lyddie’s shoulder. “I mean, if you want. He just seems special to you.”

"My dad is the kindest, most caring man I know, that's where Simon gets it from. He's brave, and funny, and smart... my mum was almost never home because of work, so he basically raised us, he's the only person I regret leaving behind," Lydia's eyes filled with tears, and she looked away, not wanting to seem weak. "I see him from time to time, with Si, or on the street, I always have to remind myself that I can't run to him..."

“I’m sorry, Lyddie,” Win murmured, gently turning her face back toward her, running her thumbs under her eyes to catch her tears. “That’s gotta be hard to see him, but not able to talk to him. Is there any way you can tell him the truth? Or would that mess with the timeline more?”

"The problem is my mum, if she found out she'd go mental. Curtis told me when she found out about Simon having powers in an alternative timeline she freaked out so bad, he had to move out." Lydia sighed and tried to put on a smile. "But it's okay, it's not the end of the world... Maybe one day."

“Ahhh,” Win said, frowning slightly, a thought coming to her. Maybe if there was a way they could get Lyddie’s mom out of the house and distract her, give Lydia some time to talk to her dad without her mom there... It was a thought, and she’d need to refine it first before she brought it up, but it was there. “Yeah, one day,” she agreed, brushing Lyddie’s hair from her face.

"So... how was it that you stole that guitar?" Lydia draped her arms around Win's neck and dragged her lips softly along her girlfriend's jaw. She needed a distraction to forget all that sadness and maybe help Win forget hers as well. "I'm asking for research purposes... obviously."

“What, you gunna become a thief too now, hmm?” Win asked, humming at Lydia’s touch.

"I don't plan on it," Lyddie purred, kissing and nipping at Win's neck. "I just can't stop imagining you doing it."

“Ohhhh, that’s right, you like bad girls,” she moaned, grinning, her hands sliding down Lyddie’s sides. “I only nicked it from the pawn shop while the guy’s back was turned.”

"That's really hot, but then again... anything you do is hot," Lydia's hands snaked under Win's hoodie. "The boys are asleep, what do you say we have some fun? Just the two of us?"

“Anything, huh?” Win mused, her breath catching as Lydia’s hands slid under her hoodie. “I say that sounds good she moaned, arching into her girlfriend’s touch. “You’ll hafta be quiet though, if you don’t wanna wake the boys.”

"That won't be a problem, my mouth will be busy," Lydia giggled before capturing Win's lips in a heated kiss while her hands still roamed the other woman's body. "I wanna taste you..."

“Oh, really?” Win purred, a pleased grin curling her lips as she kissed Lyddie back, slipping her tongue in the other woman’s mouth.

Lydia hummed in response, hooking Win's legs around her waist. "You're so sexy..." 

"Am I still dreamin' or is this really happenin'?"

Nathan's voice made Lydia nearly scream in surprise, then huff in frustration.

Win groaned softly, pressing her forehead to Lydia’s shoulder when the other woman turned toward the Nathan in the doorway. She wasn’t sure, but she had a feeling it the was the Nathan from Lydia’s dimension.

"Don't let me stop ya, I'm- I'm not even here!" Lyddie's Nathan sat down on the couch. "Go on..."

"Usually I have to shake you awake and today is the day you decide to wake up on your own?" Lydia whined. "Brilliant..."

Win snorted, turning Lydia’s face back to her, a strange excitement filling her at the thought of being watched. “You did say you’d let him watch,” she mused.

"Yeah... I suppose it's fair," Lydia felt a weird embarrassment — is that what people call stage fright? "So, where were we?" She grabbed a throw pillow for Win to lay on and crawled between her legs.

Win settled against the pillow, lifting her hips so Lyddie could pull her knickers down, desire pooling between her legs. Noticing the nervous look on her girlfriend’s face, Win held her gaze. 

“Just focus on me, Lyddie,” she purred, opening her legs wider. She knew that nervous feeling all too well from when Nathan had first suggested making their own videos, but she’d soon gotten over it, finding it more exciting than anything. “Are you gunna touch yourself while you watch?” she asked, lifting her head to address Nathan.

"Me? Oh, I mean, it'd be a waste if I didn't, don'tcha think? Such a nice view..." Nathan leaned back with one arm behind his head and Lydia took a deep breath, focusing on her girlfriend as she lowered herself to kiss Win's thighs teasingly. 

Nathan would never judge you or your technique, he loves you, she thought, he's enjoying it, there's nothing to worry about.

Win tried to bite back her pleased smile. Something about the thought of Lyddie’s Nathan getting off to them made her feel even hotter. 

“Mmm, Lyds,” she whined softly, twitching as she felt her lips on her sensitive thighs, feeling herself get even wetter with the anticipation. “Oh please, I want you so much babe. I want that beautiful mouth, please Lyddie,” she moaned, rolling her hips and stretching, slowly unzipping Nathan’s hoodie to bare her chest.

"You look adorable when you beg, Winnie," Lyddie felt a wave of confidence build up inside of her, her hands traveling to Win's chest, rolling her nipples slowly. Watching as her girlfriend squirmed, Lydia bit her lip, moving back to where Win wanted her the most. "This is what you want?" she flicked her tongue on her clit, giving it kitten licks, looking up to catch the reaction.

“Oh yes, God, your tongue feels like heaven,” she moaned, already forgetting about Nathan, Lydia drawing her attention completely. Jesus, but the way she was looking up at her like that from between her legs, it was too much. The subby little Lydia was nowhere to be seen, and Win felt her whole body flush at the confidence that radiated from her.

"You taste so good, baby... my candy girl.”  She dragged her tongue along Win's wet slit, tasting her arousal, which only made Lyddie even more eager to please her. 

Nathan watched agape from the couch, his hand already stroking his rapidly hardening cock. He wanted to let Lydia know how hot that was, but he feared that would only make her feel shy.

Win moaned louder, stretching one arm over her head as the other tangled in Lydia’s hair, catching sight of Nathan for a moment, his lips parted beautifully, the look of pure lust on his face as he stroked himself hot as hell. “Oh, please,” she murmured, squirming, desperate for more. “Bring me undone, Lollipop,” she begged, hoping it was alright to call her that. She wasn’t sure if that was a Nathan only pet name, but it felt so good to say it.

"Oh, Jesus..." Nathan twitched, clenching his eyes shut. It was so sexy when she said it. Lydia felt her own arousal coating the inside of her thighs, this was turning out to be way hotter than she expected.

Without even thinking about it, Lyddie slid two fingers inside of Win and curled them as her tongue kept teasing her partner's clit mercilessly.

“Oh!” Win cried softly, not ready to be filled by Lyddie’s fingers and clenching around them tightly. “Oh, just like that,” she gasped, chest heaving, her hand in Lydia’s hair tightening unconsciously. “Oh, I’m getting close!”

"Yeah? Come for me, baby, give it to me!" Lydia pumped her fingers in and out of Win as her tongue moved at a steady pace, intoxicated by the feeling of giving pleasure. Nathan felt himself getting closer as well, low grunts escaping his lips, his eyes glued to the girls.

“Ahh!” Win cried, tensing, her back arching as she pressed her cunt to Lydia’s face. “Oh God, Lyddie!” she keened, whining softly as her muscles twitched and jerked as she came against her girlfriend’s eager mouth, her eyes squeezing shut as her mouth fell open.

"Fuuuck," Nathan moaned as he came, rolling his head back. "That was so hot... Jesus..." 

"So," Lyddie gave Win one last lick before moving up to face her with a hopeful look. "How was that, baby?"

Win collapsed back against the floor, trying to catch her breath. “You have—no idea—how hot you are,” she gasped, pulling Lydia toward her for a kiss. “God, you’re amazing. I’m so spoiled,” she teased lightly.

"I like spoiling you," Lydia mused at Win's beautiful post-orgasm glow. "I love to hear you moaning for me." 

"Okay, that was... Holy shit," Nathan panted, throwing one hand in the air. "High five, Lollipop, you've got some skills!"

“I agree with Nathan,” Win said, pushing herself up to her elbows. “You’ve got mad skills, babe.”

"Seems like I might have to do it again when your Nathan is awake then... I think he deserves it too," Lydia chuckled before pressing her lips to Win's

Win kissed her back, relishing the taste of herself on her lips. “Mmm, I won’t argue with that,” she murmured, sitting up further to slip her fingers over Lydia’s rather soaked panties. “But what about you, hmm?  You must be awful turned on, babe.”

Simply the feather-like touch of Win's fingers made Lydia gasp softly as her entire body tensed up. "I am, would you like to take care of that for me, Winnie?" Lydia gave her girlfriend an innocent look. 

"I'll never watch a porno again... this is so much better!" Nathan laughed with amusement.

“Hey, where is everyo—?” Win’s Nathan’s question cut off as he stepped out of the bedroom. “I need t’stop sleepin’ in so late,” he muttered, his eyes going straight to Win and Lydia on the floor, Win’s chest still bare in naught but his open hoodie. “What I miss?” 

Win flushed sheepishly, burying her face in Lydia’s chest, hoping he wouldn’t be upset that they’d let him sleep through that.

"Y'missed round one, but round two is still on..." Lyddie's Nathan said as if they were watching a fight. Lydia tried not to laugh, she felt bad for Win's Nathan, but she would find a way to make it up to him. She shed her jumper and threw it across across room, hoping he would be able to enjoy himself at least a little bit…

“Aw man,” he muttered, plopping down on the other end of the couch. As strange as it sounded, he was curious to watch someone else pleasure his girlfriend for a change, wanting to really be able to focus on the faces she’d make or the way she sounded as she squirmed with pleasure. But this was just as good. 

Win promptly ran her palms up Lydia’s bare chest as she leaned in to kiss her neck roughly.

“You don’t happen to have a strap on do you Lyds?” she whispered in her ear.

"Actually, I don't, but I know where to get one..." Lydia raised her eyebrows and looked over at the pair of Nathans. "Which one of you would be so nice to make a strap on for us?" 

"I got it..." Lyddie's Nathan nodded. With a snap of his fingers the toy appeared in his other hand. "There ya go, love." 

"Is this your cock?" Lyddie analyzed the dildo carefully. 

"'Course it is! I know how much y'love the beast..."

“I don’t know why I didn’t think of that,” Win laughed, taking the toy from Lydia and standing to put it on, feeling both pairs of emerald eyes on her. “You like?” she asked, tilting her head with a smirk. For a moment she wondered if Lyddie’s Nathan had ever been pegged before.

Lyddie's Nathan uncomfortably looked away for a second, exchanging a look with his clone. He felt conflicted, because that was really sexy... 

"Mhmm..." he responded almost inaudibly. 

"You look so gorgeous like this," Lydia exclaimed, her chest heaving in anticipation.  She’d never done this before, but Win seemed quite experienced, so she felt safe.

Win noticed Lyddie’s Nathan’s hesitance and she had a feeling she had the answer to her question. But there had been a flash of want there. Her Nathan on the other hand smirked and nodded, eyeing her unabashedly. 

“Are y’nervous?” Win murmured as she gently pushed Lydia to her back and hovered over her, gripping the silicone cock to rub the tip teasingly along her glistening slit.

Lyddie's Nathan stared at the other one puzzled, why was he so comfortable with this? Had he...? Oh God. 

"A little, but I trust you," Lydia nearly whispered, letting her body relax, it couldn't be that different from any other cock, right? There was nothing to be scared of.

“Just let me know if you want me to slow down or go faster,” Win murmured, stealing a kiss before guiding the tip of the toy to her entrance and pushing into her slowly, letting her adjust. It had been too long since she’d fucked a girl like this, fuck but if it wasn’t turning her on again. 

Pulling out nearly all the way, she slid back in, slightly farther, working her way to sheathing the toy completely, her hips grinding against Lyddie’s pelvic floor, the edge of the strap rubbing deliciously against Win’s pussy. “Does that feel good?” she asked, holding in place, watching her girlfriend’s expression carefully.

"Yes!" Lydia moaned, throwing her arms around Win's shoulders as she felt herself deliciously stretching around the toy. "So good..." 

Lydia was wrong, it felt completely different from having sex with Nathan, but it was amazing. 

She fought the urge to shut her eyes, wanting to watch as Win thrusted into her. "Fuck me harder, Winnie, please..." Lyddie begged, bucking her hips.

“Sure thing, Lollipop,” she drawled, smirking as she thrust into her again, harder this time, her small tits bouncing as she found a rhythm, spurred on by the lovely sounds Lyddie was making.

"Wow, she's really goin' for it..." Lyddie's Nathan muttered under his breath, which was completely drowned by Lydia's whimpers.

"Oh, Win, right there! Don't stop, baby! I'm gonna... Oh fuck!" she watched Win hypnotized, her eyes, her tits, her hips, she didn't wanna miss a single detail.

“That’s right babe, I wanna hear you when you come. Be as loud as you want, love,” Win panted, not slowing, each rolling thrust only serving to send another jolt of pleasure through herself as well.

Lydia usually wasn't that loud, always scared to be heard, but something about the way Win said those words just made her want to be heard. "God, you're so fucking sexy!" she unapologetically shouted, letting her orgasm take over in what felt like an explosion inside of her. Lyddie's body relaxed, she collapsed still sighing Win's name like prayer.

Feeling her second orgasm from just the friction alone, Win shuddered as she thrust one last time into Lydia, nearly collapsing herself, feeling sweat roll down her face. “Oh, Lyddie, you did so well,” she murmured wearily. 

“Oh shit, that was hot,” Win’s Nathan groaned, quickly cleaning the sticky mess from his stomach.

"Come here," Lydia pulled Win closer, wanting to be held. "That was fucking incredible, you're you're good at this, lots of practice?" 

For once in his life Lyddie's Nathan was speechless, he didn't know to react, how to feel... Lyds would look good in one o'those, was all that went through his mind.

“Sort of,” Win answered, unbuckling the harness from her waist as she situated herself next to Lydia, wrapping her arms around her. “I’ve not used one on a girl in a while.”

"Oh..." Lydia understood immediately what that meant and giggled while hiding her face on Win's chest, thinking about it. 

"Um, okay, you guys hungry? I'm starvin'..." Lyddie's Nathan got up abruptly and left for the kitchen as quickly as he could.

Win watched him go, her stomach twisting with guilt. Had she said something wrong? Did she make him uncomfortable?

She nearly pushed herself up to go after him, but hesitated, unsure if that would even be helpful. Maybe Lyddie should be the one? Before she could make up her mind, it was her Nathan that pushed off the couch, stretching nonchalantly, though he flashed her a pointed look.

“Y’know, after that display I’m pretty hungry myself. You girls stay there, lookin’ pretty,” he said, following his clone out.

"Hey, man," Lyddie's Nathan tried to sound casual as he fixed himself a sandwich with whatever he could find in the fridge. "The girls are really goin' at it, aren't they?"

“Yeah, it’s definitely somethin’ else. I think we’re livin’ the dream, ain’t we?”

"Yeah, yeah..." he nodded trying to ignore the question lingering in his brain, but it was nearly impossible. "Did Win... Did she ever...?"

Nathan swallowed, clearing his throat. He had a feeling that was what was on his mind. “Uh, yeah... we, uhm...” he stopped to clear his throat again. As much as he found he enjoyed being pegged by his girlfriend, it was still something about himself he was getting used to. “It... it wasn’t exactly somethin’ I’d asked her to try, but she’d wanted to and... well would you be able t’say no t’her?” he demanded, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

"I s'pose not... Lyds never brought that up, I just... It caught me by surprise, that's all. I never imagined myself doin' that."

Lyddie's Nathan felt a little lost hearing his clone talking about those things, because that meant he also had the potential to do the same. That scared him more than he'd care to admit. "But um... Is it good?" he said as quietly as he possibly could.

Win’s Nathan chuckled awkwardly. “I mean, I didn’t think it would be, but... yeah. I wouldn’t have let her do it more than once if it wasn’t,” he admitted, rolling his shoulders. “But hey, just cuz me an’ Win do a thing, doesn’t mean you and Lyddie hafta.”

"That's the thing, man... I know she'll want to, and that shit was really fuckin' hot, so I kinda..." Lyddie's Nathan stopped himself in the middle of the sentence, he wasn't ready to say it. He simply scrunched up his face, hoping his clone would understand, and why wouldn't he? They were the same person.

Win’s Nathan merely nodded, clapping his clone on the shoulder. “Yeah, I get it.” After a moment he looked thoughtful. “I could always ask Win t’give her some pointers, if y’want...” he offered with a shrug.

"I think she's askin' for it as we speak," Lyddie's Nathan chuckled, piling up the sandwiches on a plate, knowing the girls would be hungry as well. "Those two... Jesus."

“They’re certainly voracious,” Nathan agreed. Back in the other room, Win had moved her and Lyddie to the couch, the floor having gotten a little uncomfortable. “How you doing?” she asked, stroking her fingers through Lydia’s hair.

"Never been better," Lydia snuggled closer to Win. "You look so hot with that thing on. I kinda wanna try it one day..."

“I’d like that,” Win admitted, loving seeing her girlfriend be more dominant and confident. “I’m not sure, but I think your Nathan liked it too.”

"Yeah, he got a little flustered there... I should talk to him about it," Lydia mused, and then turned to very gently brush her lips on Win's. "But I might need to practice with you first."

“I like the sound of that,” Win replied, grinning against Lyddie’s lips. “Maybe sometime when we don’t have an audience,” she added wryly.

[elledrake]

Tell Me More: Part 1 (Sam Drake x Female Reader)

A/N: Okay, so please go easy on me. This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction. I love to write and I love Sam, so I thought, why not? Ideally, this is just the beginning, but we’ll see how it goes.

Summary: After years of weekly phone calls, you are finally reunited with your longtime friend and fellow journalist, Elena Fisher. You’ve always been deeply fascinated by the stories she’s told you about her life with her husband, Nathan Drake. For the first time, you are introduced to her family, finally meeting those you’ve heard so much about.

Warnings: None!

Word Count: 1,888

Part 2 | Part 3

You couldn’t believe how close you were to the ocean. You’d always pictured what it would be like, standing in front of this vast body of water, your feet sinking in the stand with each step you took. But no photograph, no image from a movie, and certainly no daydream could replicate the feeling in your chest as you stood, at what felt like, the end of the earth. Or, perhaps, the beginning.

You shook your head, taking one last look at the never-ending stretch of beach behind you and hurried up the steps. With your suitcase in hand, you stood in front of the most delightful beach house that rivaled those you saw on those island home hunting shows. You were here to meet your longtime friend and fellow journalist, Elena Fisher. It had been a while since you’d last seen her in person, though you two had kept in touch over the past few years with weekly phone calls. She was by far, the most fascinating friend you had, though there wasn’t much competition. Her stories always left you slack-jawed, gasping, and begging for every last detail, clinging to the phone for hours. Most, if not all, of her stories involved her now husband, Nathan Drake. While she would describe how each adventure unfolded, you could hear the smile in her voice whenever she mentioned Nate. You could practically see the roll of her eyes as she’d get to the part where, in her words, “Nate would make the worst decisions possible”. Occasionally, you would hear Nate yell across the room and into the phone, either apologizing or trying to provide additional input, more for his sake than your own. You loved catching up with Elena, as your life couldn’t hold a candle to hers. You lived vicariously through her words, hoping one day you’d find yourself in the midst of an epic adventure.

You knew the chances of that were unlikely. You lived alone in the city, most days the stacks of books that overwhelmed your apartment were the only things keeping you company. You got along just fine, you told yourself, unwittingly resigned to this lifestyle. Though you were a journalist, you wanted to veer away from the trivial pieces your editor required of you; local politics, land development, annual spelling bees and the like. Elena’s mentions of pirates and long-lost treasure, ignited something in you. If you were never meant to explore a sinking ship firsthand, you at least had the ability to write about it; make your own stories, experience them through your imagination.

Your heart beat quickly, as you lightly knocked on the door. Not a second later, Elena opened the door, Nate trailing behind her.

“Y/N!” Elena squealed delightedly. You smiled and leaned in to hug her, so happy to finally see your friend in the flesh. “Come on in!”

Nate held out his hand to you, a huge smile on his face. “It’s great to finally meet you. We’re so happy you could finally make it out here.”

“How have you been?” Elena offered you a drink as you dropped your bag next to the door.

“Oh, I’ve been doing fine. Mostly working, hoping to get started on a new project soon.” You smiled tightly, taking a sip of your drink, embarrassed to admit exactly how inspired you were by Elena’s life. “Thank you so much for inviting me out here, this place is absolutely amazing.” You followed Elena and Nate into the house. Your eyes wandered from one furniture piece to the next, layers of bright orange and green fabrics, antique tables inlayed with elaborate patterns, photos of the two of them in foreign cities, and dozens of artifacts displayed on every available surface. Your mind was reeling, a thousand questions popping into your mind about the history each piece held.

“Thank you. It’s taken a while, but this place is definitely home.” Elena smiled, turning to look at her husband.

“And what’s home without family?” Nate beamed back at his wife, then turned to face you. “Actually, my brother and our friend Sully are coming for the weekend. They called last minute, so it’s gonna be a full house. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Oh, not at all.” You smiled; a prickle of excitement ran through you. You knew of Sully from Elena’s stories, as well as Nate’s brother, Sam. You were looking forward to putting faces to the names you’ve heard so much about. It felt strange, like you were being reunited with old friends, though you had never met them before.

For the next few hours you sat with Nate and Elena as they told you about their most recent projects, occasionally reflecting on their adventures from the past. You told them about life in the city and the last few pieces you’ve written, as well as the string of eventful dates you’d been on in the past few months. You cringed while telling the story of the man who had brought you home, only to end up meeting his rambunctious, yet very illegal, pet chimpanzee. You explained how you learned to change its diaper that night and how you had to throw your dress away afterwards.

As the sun started to set, you heard a car pull up to the house, the engine rumbling loudly. A moment later, the door flew open. Easy laugher suddenly filled the room, as Sam and Sully emerged, finishing up a conversation. They both looked a bit worn and a tad sweaty, but the grins on both their faces made it clear that they were nothing but content and relieved to be home.

“Well, look who it is.” Nate walked over to the two men, clapping a hand on Sully’s back, nodding at his brother at the same time. “Glad to see you both in one piece.”

“Yeah, well barely, no thanks to this guy.” Sully shook his head, looking at Sam out of the corner of his eye. Sam chuckled and lifted his hands innocently in response. Elena stood up, waving for you to follow her.

“Well, hello gentlemen. You two showed up just in time, we happen to have a guest over for the weekend.” Elena gave them both a quick hug, then turned to you. “Boys, this is Y/N. We’ve known each other for ages and are finally having a chance to properly catch up.” You approached the group, finally taking in the scene before you.

“Victor Sullivan. You can call me Sully, if you’d like. Any friend of Elena’s is certainly a friend of mine.” He smiled warmly, as he shook your hand. “How are you my dear?”

You tried to focus on older gentleman in front of you, but your eyes drifted immediately towards Sam. Elena had shown you a picture of the boys when they were young, both smiling adorably in silly hats. But you weren’t quite prepared for the image standing in front of you. You wanted to laugh at yourself, for the only three words that echoed into your mind were tall, dark, and handsome. Sam’s eyes easily met yours, a smirk playing on his lips. His dark hair was pushed back, showing off soft curls at the nape of his neck. You could see the markings of a tattoo but were too far away to make out what it was. Through his thin brown t-shirt, you could see how defined his chest was, how much strength his arms held, and how his large his hands were as they rested on his hips. Before your eyes could wander any lower, you realized Sully had asked you a question and was waiting for a response. You perked your head up at the realization.

“I-I’m doing well, thank you,” you stammered. “It, uh, it’s great to finally meet you. Elena’s told me so much about you.” You smiled, a nervous energy forming in the pit of your stomach.

“Uh-oh, do I want to know what she said ‘bout me?” Sam spoke for the first time, meeting your eyes again, and extending his hand. You could hear Elena chuckle, while you tried to come up with a response. You shook his hand quickly, trying not to focus on, once again, how massive his hands were.

“Hi.” You could only manage one word and felt like a complete idiot for it. Sam smiled, clearly amused at your skittishness. Thankfully, Nate then offered drinks to Sam and Sully, ushering everyone back into the living room.

The rest of the evening was spent listening to Sam talk about the job he and Sully had just returned from. Elena explained a bit more about you and your friendship, while Sully often asked you questions about your life. Occasionally, Sam would ask you a question and you’d do your best to keep your voice even and answer in complete sentences. Maybe he didn’t think you were a freak after all. At least, not completely.

When it got close to midnight, Elena showed you to the guest room and helped you get settled in. She hugged you once again, expressing how happy she was that you were here. It was clear she spent the majority of her time surrounded by men, so it must have been a breath of fresh air to have another woman around.

As you settled into bed, your mind went over the most recent story Elena had told you, the one about Libertalia. You knew how those events changed everything for them. You knew that it was decades in the making, starting when Nate and Sam were young. You knew about Sam and what he had gone through to get to this point. Even today, you were able to hear parts of the story retold by Nate himself. You knew the story of the Drake brothers so well, that meeting them today felt surreal. Like characters from a story come to life, inviting you into their home.

You felt your mind slowly give way to sleep, but just before sleep could overcome you, your mind went back to Sam one last time. You weren’t expecting to have such a strong reaction to him. You were honest enough with yourself to admit that you found him very attractive, so much so that you could feel yourself staring at him throughout the night, indulging in a look whenever you thought he was distracted.

You knew your reaction wasn’t all physical. Because of your knowledge about his life, you felt like you knew him or at least a part of him. Your heart ached for him, for his past, for all the time he lost. Your heart also warmed at the love he’d given his brother throughout the years, at the determination he had for honoring his mother’s work, for overcoming so much.

Even knowing about his past, he was still a stranger to you. You felt silly for having such strong emotions towards a man you met only a few hours ago. Besides the familiarity you had gained through knowing his sister-in-law, did you two even have anything in common? You highly doubted so. You exhaled, hugging yourself beneath the covers, your mind finally relaxing. As you felt your body grow heavy for the last time, one final image unwittingly flittered through your mind: those man’s damn hands.

[ayyoitsalex]

Chapter 10 - My Time To Shine

From the time I was seventeen I've been responsible for the meals prepared at the biggest holiday of them all; Thanksgiving. It's taken over as my personal favorite because I get to spend the day doing what I love, and what I do best. When it comes to me cooking for thanksgiving, my family has learned a few things. I know what I'm doing, don't distract me, and don't change my music. We got the week off from school, so I stayed up at my parent's house to get prepped for the upcoming event. Everyone was curious as to what kind of stops I was pulling out this year, but as always I wasn't saying. I'd come up with some new ideas I wanted to try out, and this was as good a time as any. When my siblings moved out I had my choice of which room I wanted to call my own. I picked Selena's room since it came with the best sunset views, and got the best night time breezes. When I got to be around sixteen I made the decision to paint the walls from the dark purple to a red. I hoped Selena wouldn't be too upset at what I'd done to her room. When I moved out, our parents kept the room relatively the same, but now there's not a bunch of clothes on the floor like I'm used to seeing it. I woke up early Tuesday with the task of doing the shopping on my mind. I called up my siblings to see which one of them could accompany me. Only Natalie was available, so I waited for her to come and pick me up.  Natalie unlocked the door and let herself in with baby Lexi in her arms. Before I could get up for a hug, she forced Lexi into my arms. "GOTTA PEE!" She screamed running to the bathroom. Lexi smiled at me as I held her close. "Your mommys so crazy Lexi. Did you know that?" "Yeah." She said laughing. Lexi can answer yes or no questions, but to whether or not she knows what it means remains to be seen. Natalie emerged from the bathroom looking relieved as ever. "Okay we ready?" She asked. "Yeah." Lexi said again putting her hands up. "Aha I guess that's a yes, let's get going!" I put Lexi in her carseat behind me. Natalie plugged in her phone and turned on the car. As the engine started the radio turned on. What came on wasn't music, but was some very intense whispering that sounded like it could be right in your ears. I gave Natalie a confused look before she practically slammed her hand into the off button. She fumbled around with her phone to put on actual music. "Um..what the fuck was that?" Natalie's face was turnning red. "Just some..patreon audio.." "What who's voice is that even?" "Dude it's so crazy it's this chick that does anime voices, but y'know makes them say bad things.." "Oh my god Natalie you're a freak haha." I palmed my face laughing hysterically. "Shut up! We all have our little things. This one just happens to be mine." "So..it's like audio porn?" "NO ABSOLUTELY NOT." She smacked the back of my head. "You little shit head.." "Ow!" "I am still your big sister y'know! Need to show me my respect!" We continued our drive to the store. When we got there  Natalie just followed behind as I pulled items into the basket. I was on a mission to get everything i needed. I didn't look back a few times, and at times lost Natalie through the crowd. "Elizabeth! Slow down a little!" When we finished checking out we went back home to put them all into the fridge. "Jesus how big is this turkey?" "Fifteen pounds." I answered looking through the vegetables, and looking through my checklist. "Can I just say I'm so glad you're good at cooking?" She hugged me. "Aha you could stand to mention it more often." The front door unlocked by Selena with her kids and Sam. "Helllo?" Selena called out for anyone home. "We're in here!" I answered. The kids rushed into the living room diving onto the couches. "Excuse me boys!" I stood there hands on my hips. Cole and AJ looked at one another before making their way towards me. I leaned down. "Hi aunt Liz." They said together hugging me, and kissing my cheeks on each side. "Love you guys." I smiled mussing up their hair as they walked back. "Well hey sister, excited for thanksgiving?" I turned to Selena. "Always! Gotta break out my fancy maternity pants so I won't lose a button." "Oh my god haha." I started taking out bowls to do as much prep work as I could before hand to make my life easier. That meant dicing up my mire poix, dry brining my turkey, making my compound butter, and cutting up bread for stuffing. My sisters both gathered around like I was doing magic, when I was just peeling vegetables. They continued looking on amazed as I chopped vegetables so easily and at times without looking. It might be stupid but it really does make me feel special. It's not that my sisters are bad cooks, I think it's just the fact that I'm going to school for cooking they think I have some more efficient way of doing simple things. Which I totally do.   "Lizzy are you sure you don't need any help?" Selena looked at me worried. I put down my knife and shook the aches out of my hand. "Yeah yeah I got it. You know me, I like doing it all." "Mm well if you say so. We can help too.." "I know I know, and I will need some help in the next couple days and maybe using you guys' ovens." "Jesus Liz what's all being made?" "Top secret!" Both Selena and Natalie rolled their eyes while I rubbed my hands together smiling devilishly. "Though if you really are set on helping these are some recipes you guys can do, and I made them as easy as possible." "Are you calling us stupid?! I HAVE A MASTERS DEGREE ELIZABETH!" Selena said faking getting mad. I rolled my eyes and went back to my cutting board. -Thursday- It's the big day and everything needs to go as planned or else I might kill somebody. I'm usually more go with the flow and easy going, but when it comes to cooking there is only one way to do things and it's my way. I was up around 5 am to start slow cooking some of the bigger proteins like the turkey and beef wellington I prepped the night before. Before putting the turkey into the oven I massaged the smoked garlic compoud butter underneath the skin. It's not the nicet feeling thing to do, but it makes a whole hell of a lot of difference down the line. I was still a bit sleepy, so I turned on the tv to wake me up a little. I flipped through the literal hundred of channels trying to find anything, but nothing was on. I turned on my newest favorite podcast and listened to "dead meat with James and Chelsea". I'm the only one of my family who is a huge horror movie buff. The only person I can get to go with me is Nathan, but he's not a addict like I am. Mom came down about an hour and a half after I did. "The only day I can expect you up this early." Mom laughed. "Well what can I say I love you all that much." I flashed a big smile to her. "Mm well happy thanksgiving my little head chef." She kissed the top of my head before going to get a cup of coffee. Nathan dropped by first around eight, and like the caring brother he is, he brought me breakfast. "Special delivery." He smirked handing me a bag of donuts. "Thanks brother!" I stuffed one in my mouth while giving him a hug. "Dinners gonna be ready about 4!" "Alright I'll have the girls all dressed and ready to see what you've come up with this year." "ITS FINNA BE LIT!" I smiled jumping up and down. "Right right..lit." Nathan not the one for today's slang terms. "Soph is making pies by the way!" Nathan said walking out the door. "Oh sweet! I knew I could trust one of you." -11 am- I was starting to get a little tired, but it wasn't anything I wasn't used to. I opened the fridge for the perfect remedy of an energy drink. I'd changed from my morning pajamas to a pair of jeans and my chef's coat to really feel the part. "Just like your father." Aunt Camryn said from behind me. I practically spit all over the fridge. "JESUS CHRIST." I put my hand over my chest. "I didn't hear anyone come in! My hearts like racing now." "Mm well thats from your lil energy nonsense. Drink coffee like an adult." "HUMPH. No coffees gross." "Peasant." Aunt Camryn muttered sipping her coffee. I turned my attention to the stove where I had potatoes, pasta, and stuffing working. Aunt Camryn peeked over my shoulder to see what I was working with, but I shielded her off. "No peeking!"  I practically shrieked as aunt Camryn took a step back. "Good lord Elizabeth you're not re-inventing the wheel here." "This is the one time I get to show out and I want to surprise. So please shoo." I even gave her a little hand wave motion.  Aunt Camryn looked like she was about to smack the life out of me. Mom walked in probably saving my face. "Nicole! She just told me to shoo!" She couldn't believe my audacity. "Haha c'mon Camryn leave Elizabeth to do her thing. You good here sweetie?" "Yeah I got it mom." She winked at me before guiding aunt Camryn into the other room. Selena walked in carrying trays of appetizers to appease guests while I finished cooking. "Well how's it coming along baby chef?" Selena smiled giving me a hug. "Everythings on schedule for 4 pm dinner." "Awesome, well I brought something special for you sincey you're being so great." She rummaged through the bags and pulled out a bowl of macaroni and cheese. It's my ultimate comfort food, and Selena would always make it for me when she would babysit. "YESS!" I ripped off the saran wrap and dug right in. I forgot I even had a hunger need until the first bite hit. "See not the only one who can cook. I also made more for dinner later for an extra side." "See you're helping!" I said like I was talking to one of her boys.   "Funny." Selena looked at me arms crossed. I got up and gave her another hug and kiss as a thank you. Although I didn't wipe my mouth enough so Selena had bits of cheese on her. "*sigh I expect things like this from my kids, not my adult sister." She pulled out wipes for her face.   "Oh! I have stuffing in that tray that needs to be finished off, can you do it in your oven please?" "Yeah sure, anything else?" I took a minute to run through the list in my head. "There's a tray of biscuits that need to be baked there. They're all portioned out, just put them in at 375, and brush the butter on top when they're done." "YES CHEF!" Selena saluted to me smiling. "Damn right yes chef!" "Okay we'll be back around 3." I pulled the turkey and beef at the same time to let them rest. The smell was absolutely intoxicating, roasted garlic, lemon, parsley, and bacon. It all was coming out the way in envisioned it. Mom helped me get all the serving plates while dad and uncle Logan set the table. Aunt Camryn "supervised" along with her glass of wine. My siblings all began to arrive with their families, so I stood at the door awaiting my tolls from the kids. "Happy thanksgiving auntie Liz here this is for you!" Daisy smiled happy as always. She hugged me tight and handed me a card she made of her handprint drawn into a turkey. "Thank you Daisy!" I squeezed her tight before moving onto the next in line. "What you got for me Julian?" I smiled down at him. He didn't say anything at first going straight into the hug. "Love you auntie Liz." AJ and Cole were next. "I wonder which of you loves me more..?" I said twiddling my thumbs. They shoved their way into my arms hugging as tight as they could. "Aha okay okay I see you both love me a lot." They laughed letting go. I looked at the table with the all the food I'd prepared along with sides prepared by everyone else, and marveled at it all. When everyone finally got a look at it they did as I did and were in awe of it. Along with the two stars of the show there was grilled asparagus, roasted brussel sprouts with pancetta, butter poached shrimp, pumpkin risotto, roasted acorn squash, mashed potatoes, creamed spinach, stuffing, baked macaroni and cheese with a parmesan crust, and garden salad. The smells mixed together in the dining room and I could see everyone starting to salivate just a little at the sight. The dessert table looked just as amazing with the contributions of my sister-in-laws and siblings. "Elizabeth this looks so good. You did a great job." Selena putting her hands over my shoulders. "Yeah good job Liz it smells incredible." Nathan said looking over all the choices spread across the table. "I can't believe you did this on your own.." Natalie smiled. They all surrounded me in a big group hug before  we all joined hands. Dad looked to me and nodded. "Thank you god for bringing us all together and allowing me to show my family just how much they mean to me with a skill you've blessed me with. We give thanks for all the food we're about to have and pray for a good end to the coming year. Amen." "Amen." Everyone collectively answered back. Mom handed me my carving knife and I made the first cut into serving everyone. When everyone had a full plate we took our seats around the house. I plated up last and sat at the table between Sophia and Selena. "I'm so glad I've got my stretchy jeans on Liz. Cause definitely going back for more." Selena smiled eating. As dinner went on everyone would walk by and drop compliments to me and say thank you. It's what made it all worth it. Everyone seeing what I could do, and being recognized for it. I didn't care that my legs hurt from standing all day, my fingers had blisters from the knives, or I was tired beyond belief. Knowing that everyone enjoyed it so much made it worth going through. The kids dropped by me again to say thank you before starting dessert. "You did real good hon." Dad said kissing the top of my head as he walked towards the sink. "We'll all get the dishes sweetie. Take a break finally." Mom nudged me over to the recliner. "Yes will definitely do that." I collapsed into the chair, putting my feet up. The pain in my legs slowly subsiding while my body began to relax. I didn't move for a good twenty minutes before Selena walked by with two plates of pecan pie slices for the both of us. She handed one to me and we cheers'd our forks. I wasn't a pie person growing up, but they've grown on me. After dessert hit me everyone began contemplating the next step. My siblings finished off the dishes, and the kids were all starting to look sleepy. I cracked open another energy drink and split it with Selena. "So are we doing this?" Natalie asked eagerly. "Can you watch the kids?" Selena turned to mom. "We'll just put them to bed. We won't be gone more than a few hours." "Aw man guys go without me you know I hate it." Nathan waved off. "BABE! No way you gotta we can get a new tv." Sophia nudged him. Nathan's eye's lit up. "Yeah the kids can just sleep here while you're out. Oh

[funeral-clown]

beth i diagnose you with baby syndrome ok anyway here’s part two of the trifecta aka cablepool

Nathan Summers was the most powerful telepath alive. He was more powerful than his mother. He was more powerful than her mentor. He could reach every mind on Earth at once. 

Every mind except one.

Wade Wilson.

Deadpool.

The one person he wanted desperately to trust the most, yet also seemingly the least trustworthy man alive. He was insane, truly insane, and his mind was a beautiful fractured thing. Nathan couldn’t touch it without cutting himself on stray shards of broken psyche. Wade was an enigma. Seemingly transparent, yet always a surprise.

Nate loved him. Did everything in his power to help him, in his own quiet behind the scenes way. Nothing about Wade was quiet or behind the scenes. Nathan appreciated that about him.

But sometimes he had to ask himself how much of it was real.

Wade flirted, yes, but Cable had once seen him flirting with a headless, armless statue, then crying when said statue gave him the cold shoulder. He was warm and convivial, but he shot people in the head convivially. He broke into his apartment regularly, despite Cable happily offering to provide his own on Providence, and he had the habits of a half feral cat. He would slink in at all hours, covered in blood and smelling terrible but still nuzzling himself under Nathan’s considerably large shoulders and practically purring. He kept odd hours.

Nate didn’t always know where he went, what he did, what he ate, but Wade had a habit of coming back after you’ve fed him once.

In a way, Wade reminded him of home. Not the mansion, not Providence, not even Greymalkin, but the war torn world he grew up in. The ravaged hellscape he learned to walk and talk and love in. It had no shortage of scars, of sick, of twisted minds. Wade was a walking talking reminder of the inevitable, if Cable ever lost sight of his mission.

But aside from all that, there was a man. Underneath everything, there was a funny, kind man, with a sense of right and wrong, who loved food and kids and  dressing up and watching Golden Girls marathons. And Nate loved that man. And Wade said he loved him, too. And he believed him. He really did believe him.

But he couldn’t be sure. No one on Earth could lie to him, except for one man.

Wade Wilson.

Deadpool.

He tried not to let that sting. He tried not to let it show. Wade, in his own way, deserved better than that. No matter what anyone said. He just wished he could be sure.

Apparently, despite his best efforts, Wade caught on.

He was at the large communal breakfast with his people, laughing, smiling, watching the children play. He was content, until he heard the noise of the teleporter belt. A heavy weight draped itself across his lap, and he looked at a familiar red masked grin.

“Did you miss me?”

Nate snorted, a fond smile teasing at the edge of his mouth.

“Why, Wade? Were you gone?”

The theatrical shocked gasp made him want to laugh and bury his face in his neck, but they were in public.

“Why, Priscilla! Was that a joke? I’m rubbing off on you! In more ways than one!”

Wade waggled his non-existent eyebrows and stroked Cable’s TO arm.

With a roll of his eyes, he adjusted his body to better support his companion while still allowing himself to eat. Wade pouted before digging into Nate’s plate of fruit.

“Aaaannnyway, Natey-baby, I come here on a specific mission.”

He grunted an acknowledgement.

“Very sexy caveman. But we have a problem, Cable.”

He froze, staring concerned into his eyes. Well, his eye holes. Wade broke into a grin, bottom half of his face exposed.

“Youuuuu don’t trust me!”

Cable blinked, pushing down his slight guilt.

“Wade,” he said softly, “I don’t know how you got that idea, but-”

“Shush your handsome mouth, you emotionally repressed beefcake.”

He snorted.

“OBVIOUSLY you trust me in battle. You know I’ve got your sexy backside covered. I meant emotionally!” He drug out the last word, making an arch with his hands. Some kind of joke, no doubt. “It’s not a surprise, Nate. You’re the world’s biggest control freak, and I’m the world’s biggest wild card. There was bound to be some issues. And don’t get me wrong, if Bea Arthur’s ghost looked my way, I’d leave you in a heartbeat. For at LEAST a month. BUT! That hasn’t happened yet, so for now I’m all yours.”

“You don’t have t-”

“Shushushushushushushushushhhh!” A gloved finger pressed hard against his mouth, contorting his lips. “I don’t blame you, lover! But!” He flipped open one of his many pouches. He pulled out a glowing container, twirling it in his hand theatrically. “Thanks to our good mutual friend, Doctor Strange-”

“You stole something from Strange?”

“I was GIFTED something from Strange! And not something! THIS, my overstuffed burrito of love, is a truth potion.”

Cable’s eyebrows creased.

“Do you want me to drink it?”

Wade snorted.

“No, dummy.” He flicked the cap off. “I’m gonna drink it.”

And with that, he tossed his head back and swallowed it down. Nate tensed, eyes scanning him for any adverse affects. Wade grinned lazily.

“Hey, there, blue eyes,” he crooned, “Were you worried about me?”

“You know I was,” he muttered tersely.

“Awwwwwwwww, Bable, that’s why I love you. I’m literally indestructible, and you still worry a silly old magical potion is gonna treat me bad.”

Nate’s shoulders relaxed.

“Wade-”

“That,” he continued cheerfully, “And your enormous dick.”

Nate choked.

“I mean. Talk about proportionate. I know you didn’t get THAT from your dad, me and Wolvie have been talking-”

“Oh my god,” he whispered, head starting to hurt.

“But baby, wait, that’s only one of the reasons I love you! I also love you for your stupidly naive plan that’s going to get you killed! I love that you think it’s going to work! I love your hope. And your hands. Just. Great hands. Can your TO hand vibrate? That’s irrelevant. But only sort of. I gotta say, I was disappointed that you didn’t have more metal on your, uh, ROD, if you know what I mean-”

“Wade.”

“I’m just saying, the writers are cowards for not going all out!”

“Wade!”

“Oh, right, I’m talking about your dick again. I really love your dick. And your everything. I even love that you’re a bossy jackass! ESPECIALLY in bed. Like. Yeah.”

Nathan’s eyes shut as his face burned red. Wade’s voice had a way of carrying, and several dozen people who had chosen to breakfast there were all staring. Their expressions ranged from shocked to amused.

“Wade there are CHILDREN-”

“That reminds me, it’s not weird that I want to call you daddy like burning, right? Especially considering my relationship with my father, and-” Wade’s own hand shot up, covering his own mouth.

He laughed, tense, before letting go.

“Right. Yes. Small children. Anyway! What I’m trying to say is, I don’t care if you can read my mind or not. I love you. Emotionally. And mentally. Ha, get it, because I’m cra-”

Nate cut him off with a kiss, chest warm with an unfurling emotion.

“Wade,” he whispered, “Thank you. Really. I love you, too. Emotionally.”

“And physically?” Wade shimmied suggestively.

“And physically,” he laughed.

“And I can call you daddy?”

“Why not.”

“And I get exclusive rights to your enormous pe-”

“Wade.”

“Personality, jeez, Nate, get your head out of the gutter!”

Nathan shook his head, grinning. The entire cafeteria was chuckling and avoiding eye contact, and his own face was burning, and he was in love with the man on his lap, and that man loved him. Enough to ask Stephen Strange for help proving it. 

“Wade,” he whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you too, big guy. I would even love you without the huge dick, because I love you that much.”

“Thank you. That means a lot.”

“But please don’t get rid of it anytime soon, I would miss it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Ok. Good.” With a loud smack to the cheek and a not-so-subtle grab at the last of his breakfast, Wade got up and started to click through his phone.

“What are you doing.”

“I’ve got to buy enough glow sticks to refill this jar and put it back before Strange notices it’s missing. See ya soon, lover-boy,”

Nathan laughed.

“Good luck, handsome.”

Wade blew him a kiss, winked, and vanished.

Face still pink, Nate went back to his breakfast.

[jlf23tumble]

Okay, I just finished X Factor episode 6, and my notes are a nightmare, but this is for @newleafover more than anyone else, and they seem to appreciate it, so :P to everyone else! I’ll do this somewhat in order:

* Simon’s weird, smug-ass face when Louis says early on that he “wants the girls” meaning as the group of people he’s mentoring (and he does it in this positive, “yeah, I’m comfortable with women, we’re gonna kick all of your asses” way), but you can tell Simon’s trying to make it sexual? And it is so fucking WEIRD and just all kinds of terrible, but also lolllll because literally nobody gives a shit (I feel like most of this season so far is Simon trying to “no homo” himself out of ~situations that Louis clearly doesn’t mind being in, and Simon has this “you’re the cool guy at school so I adore you” vibe, but he’s also so hyper aware about his own sexuality reading as gay, and it is FASCINATING)

* You can kind of tell from the editing that “they” are all in with Bella (sp?), the blonde girl from Essex, but Louis’s feedback is fucking SPOT ON (contrived)...it makes what happens with Shan at the end all that much more amusing

* The way that Louis and Ayda jump out of their seats to give Dalton from Jamaica hugs after his emotional performance hits you right in the feels

* Me as Louis giving standing ovations to any black girl who comes on and sings her heart out (and mild applause/critiques to the white blonde girls the show seems to be rooting for)

* I have to believe that Louis spends most of his time talking to Ayda (their rapport, when it’s shown, is so easy and comfortable and I wanna know more about what those two talk about because I bet it’s hilarious, I’m here for their snack breaks), but the editing focuses on the five times he talks to Simon

* There’s a whole b-roll devoted to the “freaks,” and I’m HERE for Louis casually eating snacks from Ayda’s snack bowl and saying he really wants to tap into the awkward/quirky while Simon makes the most judgey old white man face ever

* Related: the guy with the blue lips comes out and does a TERRIBLE job singing, but that’s all Louis cares about (how bad the singing is, not about his appearance, which you can tell Simon/the edit wants to mock) * Oh, man, Nathan, the Proclaimers-looking dude in the floral jacket, Louis's endeared...gives him the scronch, talks a LOT about recording, how great his tone will sound on track, I mean, he's fucking thinking about this shit beyond this show, and how now he really wants to get the boys to mentor because Nathan has excited him so much (he actually fights Simon about Nathan’s personality; both Ayda and Louis love how awkward he is, and Simon CLEARLY looks to Louis on this one, so Nathan sails through, and then Louis chases him down to tell him to tap into the quirky and the awkward, gives him a massive hug and tells him not to let him down, he loves his voice, etc., the gifsets DO NOT do this justice)...Louis celebrates with Cheetos from Ayda’s snack bowl, and godddd, do I love them

* Some bullshit with Simon’s son that’s low-key hilarious because of a) how fake it is and b) how Louis seemingly “can’t relate” to how ground-breaking it is to have a child because they make you see the world or whatever (he’s literally the guy talking to a coworker who had a kid, and it was life-changing, but that hasn’t happened to him yet, but he loves kids as a concept, so he’s, like, oh, yeah?)

* Shan! Louis is absolutely smitten with her from the get go, and then when she’s done, just goes on and on about her riffs, her voice, how easy a yes it is for him, so of course, Simon jumps on that train to the point where he makes a big deal about chasing her down at the end with Dermot and his arms (rip me) to give her a hug and do all this hasty post-editing about what a star in the making she is (like, where’s all the preamble with HER like there was with that white chick at the beginning, you dick)

[mcarfield]

Me listening to this new James McArdle podcast interview: HIS VOICE IS SO BEAUTIFUL HELP GOD @earlgreytea68 :  awwwww I can't help, sorry I now have to disappear to write my words boo Me: yes you should do that leave me here to die it's fine

MORE THOUGHTS i’m just going to have a freakout on you guys here hi

- omfg James dying to get back to Glasgow, bless his heart <3

- he sounds so exhausted oh my gosh my sweet son. And the shock at how bad Manhattan smells in the summer, haha. oh James.

- omg! he had an emergency operation over the break between London/NYC!!!! HE THOUGHT HE WASN’T GONNA GET TO BROADWAY OMG THIS DRAMA

- His care and attention for the Jewish aspects, like, he’s talked about that before, but he’s so — “you knew in new york they were out for blood if you didn’t” 

- AHA. HERE WE GO. HIM TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU’RE ON SHOW CONSTANTLY IN NEW YORK. “Everything was held at the Marriott Marquis in Times Square, all I can remember is being at the Marriott and shaking — these botox faces “ — this actually is hilarious to me because I competed in a national talent competition (and won, no humblebrag) when I was in high school and every year it was in the Marriott Marquis and it was such a big deal and so I’ve always associated that hotel with the hoity toity Broadway shenanigans ad I love this.

- NO BUT REALLY JAMES MCARDLE, WE ALREADY KNEW YOU WERE CONSTANTLY EXHAUSTED BY HAVING TO DO THE RED CARPET. 

[Me: omg he's talking about how much he hated doing the red carpet in NYC and how you were "always on show" omfg like am i not writing a fic about this literally right now BECAUSE I SEE INTO YOUR SOUL, JAMES MCARDLE

EGT: oh my god lol ]

- James talking about how everyone kept freaking out about how Scottish he was to be playing Louis, okay, someday i’m seriously going to make a roundup of all the times over his career that James McArdle has been Scots-shamed because it is ABSURD and RIDICULOUS and INFURIATING and APPARENTLY PERPETUAL, this keeps happening to him it’s so ludicrous okay i’m calm it’s cool

- and then he's just like, "it went well, thankfully" aksjfd;lasdfklasdslsadfkladsa oh my god the downplaying, i cannot. HE SERIOUSLY HAS NO IDEA HOW PHENOMENAL HE IS. he’s so self-deprecating. 

- AAAAAAND now he’s talking about the UK class system, yes, yes, and “I think to certain audiences I will always be a Scottish actor” YES, DRAG THEM ALL, JIMMY.

(Also it took us a grand total of exactly 6 minutes to arrive at UK class politics because this is an interview with James McArdle and that’s just what you get, god i love him <3 <3 <3)

- omfg when he says that he felt like the new york crowd was baying for blood with him in particular, i 100% agree with this, all the reviews and audience comments i’ve read for this show from NYers, people just seemed so vicious about him not being Jewish (way more than Andrew not being queer), and the critics just couldn’t seem to get over his Scottishness, and it just has grated on me so much guys, i’m so sad that he felt that, too, BUT ALSO LOOK HOW MUCH HE FUCKING SHOWED THEM.

- James about the UK version of Scots-shaming = “They say you’re Scottish but they mean you’re working class, and you’ll never escape that” Yes, yes. He’s hinted at this so many times, and i’m glad he’s just coming out and saying it.

- His love for the James plays <3

- ALSO HIS HILARIOUS MOCKERY OF POSH BRITISH ACCENTS LOL

(James McArdle, you will absolutely one day play Hamlet, and that fellow RADA student who told you that you never would was probably losing his mind and feeling incredibly threatened because of how fucking incredible you are)

- They're setting Peer Gynt in Scotland because James is Scottish! What! Why are they doing this ahaha! THIS IS SO WEIRD. I MEAN. I WILL STILL SHOW UP FOR IT 8 TIMES BUT ISN’T THIS KINDA CONDESCENDING?!

- “Marianne Elliott is a perfectionist and i love her for that” <3

- Tovey didn’t want to do it, HMMMM, that’s so leading, I think that’s so veiled haha. 

- JAMES THINKS PRIOR IS A BIT OF A WHINGE AHAHAHA OMG I LOVE HIM <3 SPOKEN LIKE THE GUY PLAYING LOUIS, THAT’S THE MOST HILARIOUS <3

- James saying he views the play as one big play and not two plays is very validating, this is also how I feel! THANKS BUDDY

- oh my god the Mouse Hunt story jklsadf;a

- I love him talking about Nathan Lane lolol

- I ALSO LOVE THE TWO OPENINGS TO BOTH PARTS OF THE PLAY I’M SO HAPPY HE GAVE THESE BEAUTIFUL MONOLOGUES THE LOVE THEY DESERVE <3 

- “by the end of the fucking run they were just clap-happy. Ugh, it’s not a musical” sdf;lafkldsf;klsdfklasd oh my god i love him he’s the best

- “it’s good but it’s better that it’s over” ahahaha GUYS WHAT WAS I JUST SAYING LOL 

- oh my gosh him describing how the fear of the Democracy in America scene got worse over time, and how it actually got "unbearable”!!!!! oh gosh, you can totally understand why he was afraid, too, because like I said elsewhere on this tumblr, the audience often thought he was dropping/missing lines when he was just delivering them so erratically and Louis-y omg <3 <3 James ILU you’re wonderful

- ahahaha omg the description of him dropping the single line though as Louis ahaha, god, he’s amazing, i love that he’s so open about the PSYCHOLOGICAL TERROR THAT IS ACTING HAHA

- his stance on being terrified of complacency is so obvious in everything he does, ahaha, what a good

- “i’m not method or anything, but i’m neurotic” — *rolls up sleeves* OKAY HERE WE GO DSAFKLJADS;F

- ANDREW IMMEDIATELY NOTICING THAT JAMES WAS FREAKED OUT BECAUSE HE MESSED UP A SINGLE WORD IN THEIR SCENE THOUGH

- OKAY

LIKE

TONIGHT

I AM LEARNING

THAT JAMES MCARDLE IS A WALKING HURT/COMFORT TROPE OH MY GOD DSFKLJ;AFD

THIS STORY ABOUT HIM FORGETTING THIS SINGLE WORD AND HAVING 2 SOLID WEEKS OF STAGE FRIGHT IS SO SAD AND PURE :( :( :(

[EGT: I hope Andrew fucked him out of it

sdkf;akdsfkdskds ]

- James is so proud of being a PACE kid, awwwwww that’s so dorky and sweet

- “I still feel like I’m 16″ sdflkas;fdadskfa; omg the self-deprecation is so real

- “I feel like I’m an 87-year-old woman trapped in the body of an 18-year-old but the truth is I’m just an average 28-year-old man” wait wait DID HE JUST AGE HIMSELF DOWN A YEAR, I THOUGHT HE WAS 29?  ahaha how does nobody know how old he is, i kept having to update his age in my first fic because i kept reading different reports about how old he was, god lol

- "i can't sing. i don't do false modesty and i'm telling you i can't sing."

jsdflsajflasjdljfs;lksdsd okay okay okay

1) lol somehow i already knew he couldn’t sing because he seems like the kind of guy who is philosophically opposed to the idea of himself singing ahaha

2) “i don’t do false modesty” oh my god this is so hot lololol

3) BUT ALSO JAMES MCARDLE YOU’VE JUST SAID LIKE 80 SELF-DEPRECATING STATEMENTS IN THIS ONE INTERVIEW ALONE LOL, INCLUDING THIS ONE

4) LOL WHATEVER FUCK YOU  <3

- OH MY GOD THIS BAT STORY ASLDKJF;SFAD THIS BAT STORY

- i love that he’s telling his RADA audition story, omg <3 i’ve been wanting him to elaborate on this story!!!!! “you cheeky little bastard” — omfg i love him, you are a cheeky little bastard, well done, James McArdle <3

- “James McArdle, you walk like a fucking pogo stick” askldfjflaks;df what ahaha

- THEY’RE DOING AN AUDIOBOOK OF ANGELS <3 I’M SO EXCITED FOR THIS <3 

- how is he still allowed to not say what the play is, WE ALL KNOW IT’S THE IBSEN CYCLE, LOL

- I’m so glad he’s taking this whole month off and SO glad he’s steering clear of the Fringe ahaha, and I’m sorry, barring the press junket for Mary Queen of Scots, what the hell is he doing with his time for the next 12 months, god damn

- ahahaha i’m sad we were deprived of “Mr. Brightside” as an Irish jig. 

- “I also find now, the older I get — I’m saying this like I’m some old, jaded — I don’t even like to engage in conversations about the plays or the play. I just let people — especially people who ardently give you their clever opinion about what they liked and what they don’t like, and I just don’t care.” — James McArdle, I understand this impulse but also I think you might be a wee bit depressed

- “I’m not remotely interested, I want you to say I looked great, my costumes looked brilliant, and I was great.” ahaha. NO FALSE MODESTY HERE lol.

- “I’m grumpy, I feel grumpy!” salkjdfksalfd God he sounds like he needs such a long relaxing happy colorful vacation. I hope he gets it. <3 

(But also I’m really glad he’s talking about how he needs to keep momentum going and find more work soon because this is exactly the plot of the fic I’m writing right now, which is set right now, and it’s nice that I’m keeping it in-character ahaha, THANKS, JAMES MCARDLE, CONTINUE TO BE BEAUTIFULLY TRANSPARENT, BYE)

[goosefightrobinmayor]

Best Man

I just wrote this.  Pushed what I had planned to pub Thursday ahead a week :p

It is...very self-indulgent.  But I had sort of a Long Day last Monday and I wanted to write a situation where someone comes out, and the people come out to are actually really thrilled.

This scene mirrors a flashback in Dolls and Duckbacks where Nathanael *tries* to come out to his parents.  

“It’s just a hypothetical,” the boy settled back into the chair, “nothing to get upset about.”

“Honey,” Christian said, “we’re not upset.  This is wonderful!”

The boy sort of cringed into his hands but said, “R-really?  You think it’d be good thing if I were a boy?”

“Of course!  That’s who you really are, isn’t it?  If you’re living as who you really are it’s a good thing.”

The words made him smile, because they echoed so much with his inner monologue, “Yeah, I think it is who I really am?”

Astor clapped his hands, “Oh, I’m so excited!  I’m so excited!”  He smacked his head, “Wait!  I have to-” he checked his watch, “just enough time if I take the Saab.”

“Astor,” Christian chuckled, “what?”

Astor kissed Christian on the cheek, “I’ll be right back!” he ran out the door.

The boy cocked his head, watching him go, “What was that about?”

“I have no idea, honestly,” Christian said, and came around the table, “Get up and hug u your uncle.”

The boy laughed nervously, “Uncle.”

“Come on.  Please?”

The boy stood up to hug the old man.  It was a hardy bear squeeze.  Christian took a look at his face, “I have a nephew!”

“Oh shit,” said the boy.

“Don’t swear,” said Christian.

“Sorry.  But, nephew,” he grinned, “yeah!  I’m a nephew?  I guess.  That’s cool.”

Christian pat him on the shoulder, “I guess this means I’ll have to do more man-centric activities with you.  Uh.  What do nephews do with their uncles?  Fly-fishing?”

The boy wrinkled his nose, “I hate fishing.  I think I’d hate fly-fishing even more.”

“Forget the fly fishing,” he looked him dead in the face, “I’ll take you to the barber.”

The boy touched his hair.  It hung in a braid down the center of his back.  “Mom and Dad will probably kill me if I cut my hair short.”

“Oh!” Christian said, “Right.  They don’t know yet, do they?”

The boy looked away, ashamed.  Before Christian could press, his cell phone rang.

“Yes?  Dear?  Oh!  Oh!  Yes!  Of course!” his eyes slid sideways to the boy, “Honey!  I mean, pal, what’s your name?”

“Uh,” the boy couldn’t help a smile, “what?”

“What’s your name!  You’re not going by Clara anymore, right?”  With a grimace he said, “Not that you can’t!  You can still be Clara if you want to!”

“Oh!” the boy said, “oh uh, Clark?”  There was a tinge, “No, no, no, no.  Not Clark.  Definitely not Clark.”

“Not Clark, got it.  Astor?” Christian spoke to the phone, “I’m putting you on speakerphone.”

He set the phone one the counter and Astor’s voice came through, “Whatever name you’re comfortable with.  You can change your mind later.”

The boy nodded, “Definitely not Clarence, though.  I don’t want an old-man name.”

“Wow, excuse you,” Christian said.

“How about Clair?” Astor asked, “With an I?”

“I dunno.  Can I do my middle name instead?  Can I be like Nathan or something?”

“Nathan is great!” Astor said.

“No wait!  Nate!” said the boy.

“Nate it is!  Thanks, Nate!” Astor hung up.

The boy put his hands over his face.  “What’s wrong, Nate?” Christian asked.

“He’s so happy.”

“Well, of course,” Christian frowned, “you have to understand, Nate, it was different for our generation.  I spent way too many years buried in a closet.  So seeing you, as a kid, knowing who you are and declaring it- it gives me hope.”

The boy peaked between his fingers, “I’m not gay, though.”

“No.  But you’re letting yourself be who you really are.  Do you know what a great gift that is?”

The boy hugged himself, frowning.

“Buddy.  What’s wrong?”

“What if I’m like- what if I’m making it up?”

“Making it up?”

The boy frowned, and swung his arms, trying to get rid of some toxic energy that was building, “I mean.  I dunno.  Just.  I did come out to my parents.  I mean I tried to.”

Christian frowned, “Tried to, huh?”

The boy nodded.

“And what did they say?” Christian’s tone is disappointed.

The boy says, “Just that- that I’m wrong.  That I’m a girl and,” he tucked some hair behind his ear, “I guess kind of implied that the reason I think different is because I’m ugly?  And then mom turned around and said transexual people were sick.”

“Transgender,” Christian corrected, then shook his head, “Oh, Jen.  And what did Ezra say?”

The boy shrugged; looked at the floor.  Christian inhaled sharply, “Goddamnit, Ezra.”

“It doesn’t really matter, Uncle.”

“It does.  You deserved more from your parents when you came out to them,” he hugged him again, “I know I’m not your Dad, but I’ll be the best gay uncle I can be,” his face lit up, “I know!  You’ll be my best man!”

With Prop 8 history, Astor and Christian were, of course, legally married.  They still intended to have a ceremony, though.  They had it planned for the end of August so the kids could come.  

“What about my Dad?”

“Eh,” Christian said, “I haven’t actually asked him yet.  And now I’m sour at him.  What do you say?”

“But I’ll have to be out, and in public front of my parents?  With my dad wondering why his daughter is the best man instead of him?”

“Oh,” Christian put his hands down, “well, maybe not.”

“Sorry, Uncle.”

“It’s OK,” Christian smiled, “the closet is safer, sometimes.  You’ll be my best man in spirit.  You’ll definitely not be a flower girl, though.”

“Jeez, aren’t I a too old for that, anyway?”

“You’re right.  We’ll save that for the triplets.  And Hilda too, if she wants.”

“I think she’s too old, too,” the boy smiled, “but, it’s a deal, anyway.  If you call it a casual wedding, I can wear a suit and my parents won’t freak out a lot.”

“Noted,” Christian said.

The boy sighed, and felt himself settle- finally- into his own bones.  It was as if he’d been dragging along skin all this time that didn’t fit right, and finally he had made the right alterations for it to be comfortable.  His uncle calling him stuff like ‘buddy’ and ‘nephew’ and ‘Nate’, the boy couldn’t think of a time he felt better.

“Listen,” Christian said, “if your Mom and Dad give you a hard time, come here, OK?”

“As in?”

“Live here.”

Nate blinked several times, “You mean that?”

“Absolutely.  You deserve to be surrounded by people who let you be who you are.”

Nate felt his eyes fill up with water, “Jeezum.”

“Awww,” Christian hugged him, “cry it out, young man.  Men aren’t afraid of tears.”

Nate sniffled, “Shut up.”

Hilda came into the kitchen in her zebra onesie and her puffy socks, grinning, but frowned when she saw the boy in tears, “Clara?  Why you crying?”

Nate wiped his tears, “I’m just happy,” he blew his nose, “how was your finale?”

“Oh man,” Hilda sat at one of the stools, “I’m gonna miss her so much.”

“So what happened?” asked Christian.

“Well, Amelia went back to her own time, of course, which is good for her.  But Ricky the Robot went with her and now they’ve opened up a flight school for girls in the 1930s?  And it’s like,” she sighed, “why can’t I just keep following her adventures as an instructor?” she groaned, “I’m glad everybody’s happy, though.”

“Probably because Amelia Airhart is more interesting when she’s dogfighting aliens and stuff?” said Nate.

Hilda sighed, “I guess.  So what have you guys been doing?”

Christian smiled, “Hey Hilda, guess what?”

“What?”

Christian looked to Nate, though, “Can I tell her?”

Nate laughed, “She already knows, dude.”

“I know what?”

“That you have a big brother instead of a big sister,” Christian said.

Hilda turned to Nate, “You came out to him?  Without me being there?”

“Uh,” Nate tried to measure her tone, “Sorry?  It just sort of happened.  I didn’t know you were supposed to be there.”

“Astor knows, too,” Christian said, and smiled slyly, “he’ll be right back.”

“Oh man,” Hilda said, “how’d they take it?”

“Honestly?  Thrilled,” Nate said.

“That’s great!” Hilda ran into a hug with him, “He came out to me first,” she said to Christian.  This was clearly a point of pride for her, “sorry the name I suggested didn’t go down well, though.”

“It’s OK,” the boy said, “I think I’m gonna be Nate now.”

“Oh, that’s cool!”

“Yeah!”

The front door opened, revealing Astor.  He had a very uncharacteristic grin all over his long face.  He put a cake down on the counter.

We Love You, Nate! was icinged into the top.

Astor hugged Nate, “Happy coming out!”

“Wahhh,” Nate was just glad he hadn’t been eating anything at the time, “a whole cake?  Because I came out to you?”

“Yeah!  Consider this a coming out party!”

“Eh,” Christian waved his hands, “bad terminology.  In this country, a coming out party is for a rich young woman.”  Astor had a slight accent because he was an immigrant- a refugee, actually, forced out of his old country by war.

Astor frowned, “Well, that’s stupid.  I think English needs to evolve in that area.”

“I can dig,” said Nate.  

“Anyway,” said Astor, “when I came out as bisexual to my family, I got cake, so Nate deserves a cake, too,” he blushed, visibly, “I got really excited, though.  Rushed out the door before I knew what name to put on it.”

Hilda laughed.  Nate looked at the cake.  It sure did give him a glowy feeling inside.  But-

“Guys?  What if I’m wrong?  But if I think I’m a- a trans guy today, but then I realize like, I dunno, I’m just a lesbian or like, one of those people with five genders, or something?” he spidered his fingers.  He felt guilty, now, to be making his uncles do all this stuff, especially if this wasn’t real.

Christian grinned, “Well, it doesn’t hurt to have more than one cake.”

“I dunno about that,” Astor said, “your doctor did tell you need to watch your sugar intake.”

Christian’s arms drooped, “Oh, come on.”

“Sorry,” Astor petted him on the back, “maybe the next time one of you kids figures out you’re queer, we’ll go bowling instead?”

“You old dictator,” Christian growls at Astor, but smiles at Nate, “but, I say, go with the flow.  Nate, do you feel like a boy?”

Nate smiled, “Well, I know I really like it when you call me that.”

Christian smiled, “Well that’s a good hint.  But at the end of the day, it’s up to you,” he squeezed his shoulder, “if you think you’re a boy, Nate, then you’re a boy, and there’s nothing we can do to change that.”

[deeeelightfuldee]

surveyss 013.

Are you mad at your best friend right now? I guess it depends who that is. I’m not mad at em. I have to get out of the habit of calling Kile my best friend, but he has been my other half for so long. I’m not mad at him.. I just.. I guess I am just so sad wishing he wanted me the way I thought he did.

Do you know anybody with a pet snake? Ugh. Gross yes. I am not close with these kinds of people.

Do you buy your underwear in a pack or seperately? Either way. In a pack is convenient and cheaper, but seldom allows for cute undies. Buying individually is proving to be great for style, but expensive.

Have you ever made fun of anybody and later became their friend? I never really made fun of Nathan, I just would smack him with a plastic baseball bat.

Is the lamp on in the room you're in? Right now only this new little egg shaped lamp that is trying to die.

Do you have a pair of shoes that you can only wear with one or two outfits? Uhhh, maybe like ... no. Actually no, I think most of my shoes are interchangeable. 

Is there any drink that you absolutely MUST drink cold? I genuinely prefer my drinks cold. I think the only warm drinks I like are hot chocolate or tea.

Did you sleep in past noon today? Woof, no. 

Did your grandma ever tell you about her love life? I have never had a personal conversation with my paternal grandmother, and no longer have an opportunity since she was killed. My maternal grandmother has shared very little because she seems to think being private is like a badge of honor. She was in love once in college, but her parents ruined it and he let go and moved on. She never did. She ended up “settling” for my grandpa -- who was an awesome guy. She just wasn’t really in love, she did it because that’s who her parents wanted.

Have you ever painted anybody's nails aside from your own? Yes.

Anything exciting happening in the month of September? It’s my mom’s birthday which should be a national holiday. I can’t afford to spoil her, but hopefully I’ll be able to make it fun somehow.

Who is your last missed call from? I think my sister. I wish I had calls from Kile. It’s good I don’t, cus I would be tempted to answer. But it would be so good to hear his voice on voicemail. Sigh.

When was the last time you ate Frosted Flakes? Oh boy, it’s been a hot minute.

Did you ever NOT want a substitute in a certain class? I was homeschooled. There were no substitutes.

Do you ever donate to the less fortunate? Yes

Did you buy an American flag after 9/11 to put on your car/house/ whatever? Did I personally? No, I had no money. But my family did buy a lot.

Do you know any songs that are older than you are? Heck yeah.

Are there framed pictures of you anywhere in your house? Yes. We have like a large gallery wall with a photo of myself. We also framed some graduation photos. 

Compared to other people of your age would you be considered 'NORMAL'? What is normal.

Honestly, do you have any Hilary Duff on your MP3 player? I don’t use an MP3 player anymore. I have plenty of Duff on my spotify lol

Who is worst in your family about calling people back? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Do you like peanut M&M's? I do, but now I’m madly in love with regular m&m’s. Kile used to send me peanut ones I had so many I could have filled a bathtub with them hahaha.

When was the last time you had an ice cream sandwich? It’s been a very, very long time.

When was the last time you ate jelly beans? Yuck. Not that long ago we had some for David. I’m not a fan.

When was the last time you had hot chocolate? Around Christmas time.

Have you ever caught a friend cheating on their bf/gf? In a way. Not someone I’m close to.

What was the last song stuck in your head? I almost always have My Country Tis Of Thee stuck in my head. It literally happens all the time and I have no idea why. Mom thinks it is hilarious and also semi concerning.

Do you enjoy doing math? Not even a little.

Do you think your mom has secrets she’s never told you? Yeah probably. Not many, but I would imagine some.

Do you own anything you don’t want your parents to know about? Probably.

Do you pose in your pictures or just smile? Both. Just depends what strikes my fancy.

Are there any colors you will NOT wear? Pale creamy colors do not do justice to me. 

Do you use scented soap in the shower? Always scented something.

Did you ever want to be a fashion designer? Nooooope

Who was the last person you danced with? Enjoyable? Hahaha. I mean I danced last night with the kids. the last time I danced with a male, it was enjoyable.

Do you like convertibles? I do, my sister once rented one for a weekend when I came into town just so we could drive around and be spoiled. It was so awesome. 

Have you ever yelled at the television? Definitely. I just did for this murder story I’m watching.

How many songs on your MP3 player are about sex? On spotify I have plenty, not gonna lie.

Do you like water parks? I love them in theory, but I am repulsed by them in all honesty.

Dark or light colored jeans? Depends on the fit. 

Can you take apart a computer and name all the parts? Heckie no.

Can you take apart a car and name all the parts? I’d probably have more luck with this than the computer, but still no.

Would your friends describe you as nerdy? Yes, yes they would.

How many different colors are you wearing right now? four. White/blue, blue, black, mauve. 

Have you ever purchased a lotto ticket? I sure have

Are you double-jointed anywhere? Nooope.

What is the longest amount of time you've spent playing Monopoly? Probably like 4 hours. Though, it should be stated that I don’t think I’ve ever played with anyone who genuinely wanted to play the correct way. I would love to try.

Have you ever witnessed a tornado first-hand? Yes but it didn’t look like the stereotypical tornado. I want to see one. It’s wild how things change... back in the day tornadoes were my greatest fear. Crippling fear. No longer that way.

Did you play in the sand box as a kid? I didn’t dislike it. I just didn’t do it all that often. There weren’t any at the parks near me as a child, and my dad would have lost his mind at the mess.

How about on the monkey bars? I always tried and was often OK at it. I just disliked how hot the bar could get or when my hands would slip.

Have you ever made an alarm go off? Oh I sure have.

Have you ever colored your eyebrows? Yup. Naturally, my eyebrows are MEGA white blonde.

Did you ever own a pop-up book? Uhhh Probably one or two as a kid.

Have you ever honked at a biker? I don’t think so?

Have you ever taken another person's prescribed medication? A muscle relaxer once that my mom gave me that she didn’t need.

Have you ever played golf (not miniature golf)? I’ve gone one time to a like.. driving range type thing? Never gone official golfing. I’d like to.

Do you use gel in your hair? Maybe 1-5x a year.

Do you own a garden gnome? Definitely not.

Are any of the rooms in your house painted blue? Yes

Do you kick off your shoes as soon as you walk in the door? Typically yes I do, but sometimes we leave them on. Gram has to wear them for stability, mom wears them to protect her feet from cuts, and so I will sometimes.

Have you ever judged a book by its cover? Yes

What is the most effective device at the gym? I couldn’t tell ya. I’m intimidated by the gym.

Can you drive a stick shift? At one point yes I could! I am positive I wouldn’t remember how to now.

Have you ever picked on a substitute teacher? Never had a sub and I would never

How good are you at giving directions? OOOOOOOOOOOOOooo I’m terrible at it. I’m great at doing it in the car, but don’t call me and expect me to be able to tell you directions like “go northeast for 1.2 miles” heck no.

When was the last time you looked out the window nearest you? Probably a half hour ago or so. I checked on the water filling the pool.

Have you ever got dressed with the windows open? Yes. Often I will. Not in the summer though, because I try to keep my room as dark and cool as possible.

Have you ever given a foot massage? yes

Do public restrooms freak you out? It depends on where the bathroom is. Some of them are cleaner than others. I don’t like FREAK out about it, but I don’t enjoy it. I often can wait til I’m home.

Have you ever taken a shower outside? yeah, but I don’t love that.

Have you ever been to a junkyard? I have.

What do you think of Brad Pitt? I don’t really have a big opinion on him.

Have you ever watched the History Channel willingly? Yes, if it interests me.

Have you ever used pennies to pay for something that cost over 50 cents? Hahahaha for my siblings, yes. 

If a place makes you pay for delivery - do you still tip the driver? Yes.

Without the aid of a cell phone - do you know your parents numbers by heart? Yeah. 

Can you name 10 former presidents? Trump, obama, bush, bush, reagan, clinton, nixon, roosevelt, jefferson, washington.

Have you ever bought a gift for a teacher? Yes

Is your bedroom carpeted? Not since I was a child. I do have a rug down.

Right now, what color is your tongue? Pink.

When was the last time you had a Tootsie Pop? Last year probably.

If you could get the cell phone of your choice - what would it be? I have the phone I love. I have to give it up soon, but I’m dreading that.

Who is your favorite super hero? Uhhhhhhhhhh, I’m not sure. Either batman or superman I guess. I would probably have a clear idea if I watched all the superhero movies.

How about your favorite villain? I dunno, still would need to see the videos.

Do you know anybody who works at a bank? I doooooo.

What do you usually order from your favorite fast food place? Right now my favorite fast food place is Buona Beef. I love their char-grilled avocado pepper jack chicken sandwich on gluten free pita with extra jalapeno. OMG. so good.

Do you hand out candy to kids on Halloween? Yup. I dooooooooo. 

What perfume/cologne do you wear the most? My favorite is refuge by charlotte russe. 

Can you name all 7 dwarfs? uhhhh, sleepy, dopey, grumpy, ... no. lolol

Does the early bird really catch the worm? In my world, I totally believe this.

[unchartedterritoria]

Dangerous (Sam Drake x OC) - Chapter 20

This chapter was hard to get started and then just came flowing out. I promise a lighter chapter soon!

WARNING: There is mention of suicide in this chapter. It’s a dark chapter.

You can read past chapters on A03, as well as read this current one if you don’t wanna read it here:

A03 Chapter 20 Link

“You sure we're out of museums?” Faith asked.

“Yup, the drunk bastard's house was the last one on the list,” Sam answered her.

“How do you know Hemingway was a drunk?”

“Weren't all the 'great' American authors drunks?”

Faith thought about it for a second and shrugged her shoulders in agreement.

As the prospects of finding a link between Mudd and Key West were beginning to dry up faster and faster, Faith and Sam decided to switch the focus of their search to the phrase branded into the barrel. The Third Artillery. They found no mention of it in any of the history books they had, which left what hope Faith had left waning. Sam on the other hand, who was trying to hold on to his diminishing optimism, had another idea.

Faith and Sam rounded the corner of the block. A basic, black wrought iron fence ringed the Key West Cemetery. Beyond the barrier sat 19 acres of eccentric island graveyard. Each headstone, each marker, each crypt had a unique twist that embodied the essence of the island itself. White mausoleums, faded with age, stretched along segments of the fence. They dwarfed the other single person crypts, five rows of final resting places resided in the tall buildings.

Sam strode through the gate and under the large metal archway into the cemetery as if on a breeze while Faith trudged slowly through, the unease of all of the dead people inside doing a tap dance on her stomach. Nervous perspiration began to form at her temples and mingled with the beads of sweat already there from the heat.

It's just a cemetery. It's not like you know anyone buried here. You got this Faith; you got this.

“You ok?”

The sound of Sam's voice shook her brain loose from the anxiety that was trying to grab hold.

"Yeah, I'm good," she said.

“Then let get moving,” He said, nodding his head forward.

Faith blew out a heavy breath, quickly caught up to Sam and fell into step next to him to explore the sprawling graveyard.

A small, green sedan with Georgia plates parked underneath one of the massive palm trees which lined the street that led to the entrance to the cemetery. The man in the driver's seat watched as Sam and Faith walked up the wide lane, the graves flanking them on either side. He kept his distance. When he was sure he was out of earshot, he slid out of the driver's seat and closed the door behind him. Stowing a small handgun in the holster hidden under his billowing shirt and a cellphone in his pocket, he began to follow them. He kept a reasonable distance, but never took his beady eyes off the pair walking a couple of rows ahead of him.

Faith made sure to grab one of the maps for the self-guided walking tour of the cemetery when they came in. After a few blocks in, she produced the glossy pamphlet from her back pocket.

“Where's their section for the military?” Sam asked.

"I don't see a designated military part, so I'm guessing they're just spread all over," Faith shook her head and scanned the numerous gravestones around her.

“Shit,” He grumbled as he produced a smoke from his shirt pocket, giving it a light.

Good thing it's a full pack, he thought to himself, I'm gonna need it if I have to look at every goddamn tombstone in this place.

“So, I gotta ask, how do you know so much about a town you've never been to?” Sam asked, his words accented with an exhaled plume of smoke.

Faith smiled as she stared at the long worn in ruts of the cemetery road under her feet.

"When I was around 15 or 16, my mom decided that we should go on vacation when I graduated high school. She let me pick where we would go, and I picked Key West. Before we went, I wanted to know all about where we were going, so I read up on the city and its people and its history. You know, like the geek that I am. Then graduation came and..." Faith shrugged her shoulders with a defeated sigh.

Sam nodded knowingly while he walked beside her. He knew that expression. He'd spent most of his teenage life wearing it.

"We tried to go again when I graduated college. We got closer that time! We had the money for it then, and we were all ready to book it, but then my mom got sick, and that was that." Faith's voice went soft and quiet as she reached the end of her story.

“She was sick for a pretty long time, huh?” Sam said as his eyes scanned the text of the tombstones as they walked by them.

Faith picked at her cuticles. "Since I was eleven. That was the last time I remember her being healthy."

“Cancer?”

"Self-destruction."

Faith's answer caused Sam to look at her; his face wore a look of confusion.

“Ok,” She began with a deep breath, “My parents loved each other. I mean, really loved each other. I'm talking Gomez and Morticia Addams level of love; you know what I mean?"

Faith continued after Sam nodded his head, his full attention focus on Faith's story, the cemetery falling away around him.

"And that shit's rare. I knew that when I was little but I didn't really understand just how special and how rare that intense, 'compliment and complete each other' kind of love was until I was a lot older. Anyway, my parents went on vacation. There was an accident. My dad got hurt and ended up in a wheelchair with brain damage."

“How bad?” Sam interjected.

“Before it, he was a music teacher, did piano accompaniment that kinda thing. And after it, he couldn't play anymore; he couldn't remember how to either."

“That's a tough hand to be dealt,” Sam said as he ground the butt of his cigarette into the grass with his boot.

“Yeah it was, and mom tried her best. Quit her job, took care of him full time. Then one day, two years later, he told her he was tired and put a shotgun in his mouth,” Faith said very matter of fact.

“Jesus,” Sam exclaimed in a low voice.

Faith's eyes hardened. “Yeah, I don't think he was there that day,” she said through pursed lips.

Her retort caught him off guard and made him stop in his tracks while she continued forward without breaking her stride.

Sam wanted to tell her that she didn't have to talk about this. That she could tell him to fuck off and mind his own business and that would be alright, but Sam had a feeling this was something that needed to be said.

"Ma kept it together pretty well in the beginning. She was strong for me; I was strong for her. Between going back to work and getting me through high school she didn't really have time to fall apart, you know? Then I went to college, and it was like this depression just... consumed her. She stopped taking care of herself. I'd come home on weekends and take care of her, try and distract her, get her out of her head and out of the house. But it just didn't work. She kept fixating on dad and why he did it and why didn't she stop him and yadda, yadda, yadda. And after ten years, her body just broke down. Kidneys stopped working, infections all the time, her muscles atrophied. She couldn't walk anymore so she couldn't work. For ten years I tried to get her to fight, tried to make her want to live. But in the end, she said she was tired, and she didn't want to fight anymore. So I had to let her go," Faith finished with her head hung down. She willed herself to keep it together and not cry. Instead, she continued to stare down at her shoes intently while they walked.

Her story sat in Sam's throat like a sticky ball. Some of it had felt so chillingly familiar. A mother giving up on life, depression, suicide, being left alone. The story had echoed that of his teenage years with the loss of his mother and ending up in an orphanage with Nathan. For one of the few times in his life, he didn't know what to say. He wanted to tell her he understood, that he understood deep down on a level that only a person that has lost a parent at a young age could.

Instead, Sam put his hand on her shoulder and gently pulled her in close next to him while they walked. He tilted his head, letting it rest on the top of hers.

The action was more sincere and heartfelt for Faith than any 'I'm sorry' ever could be.

They walked like that for a few more steps. Unable to deal with the sad, maudlin feeling anymore, she broke from his grasp and turned around to face him while she walked backward.

"But hey! I made it! I'm here!" Faith said with a grin as she stretched her arms out. She saw Sam smile back at her, but the small guy in the distance caught her eye. He was only a row or two back from their current position. There were other people in the cemetery, tourists on bikes, the occasional work truck of the groundskeeper. What grabbed her attention was his shoes. White penny loafers with no socks that stood out under his light tan slacks.

Definitely not appropriate footwear, I don't care how Miami Vice it looks, she thought to herself.

The man in the insensible shoes looked ahead to see Faith staring at him. He quickly slowed his pace and began to find the small mausoleum next to him very interesting, giving it his full attention.

Despite the looming threat of being found by Jasper's people, Faith had tried to keep her paranoia to a minimum. She knew if she were suspicious and freaked out about every person she passed in Key West, she would be a complete mess. She had been doing well until now. Those out of place shoes though. They sent a quiver up her back as if someone dragged their thumbnail up her spine. Faith shook it off, keeping the expression on her face light and airy.

“Let me see the map,” Sam asked, bringing himself to a stop and holding out his hand. Faith handed the sweat softened map to him.

Sam unfolded it carefully, his face contorted with a look of playful disgust.

“Didn't you just grab this at the gate?”

“Oh bite me. It's warm out,” She said with a wave of her hand as she stood next to him to read over his shoulder.

"I think here's probably our best shot." Sam pointed at a small square with a picture of an anchor that read 'USS MAINE MEMORIAL.'

“Yeah, but let's snake our way through the place, see if any of the graves in here mention 3rd Artillery.”

Sam refolded the damp map and put it in his back pocket.

“Alright sister, you lead the way.”

Faith chanced a small glance behind her, the man in the white shoes was nowhere to be seen.

Faith made her way through the cemetery with a lightness that came from the person next to her, Sam. She had entered the graveyard full of dread and trepidation, all but convinced that a panic attack was looming in her not so distant future. Instead, she ended up talking about the one thing that had sent her into countless states of anxiety and discomfort for the past six months, her mother, her father even. She had never told anyone about what happened with her father before, in the hopes of keeping conversations airy; the mention of suicide tends to really bring down the room. When people asked her about him, she always said, 'he passed away' and left it at that. But something in Sam, in his kind eyes, in his easygoing personality, acted as a truth serum for her. It brought down walls in Faith that had been built up brick by brick, leaving a wall that was mortared together with avoidance and hardened solid with the passage of time. Faith's wall had started to crumble and the sheer terror that she had anticipated with it, hadn't come. Instead, it was a feeling of refreshment, cleansing, and comfort.

[fionnmeetsharry]

Artist & Actor: Love isn’t for everyone

This is Chapter two of the artist actor series, i am working on all of your requests. This was requested by a couple of people so i went ahead and posted it. Enjoy!

He was truly brilliant, the way he would deliver his lines, how he would look so scared that you actually wanted to go out there and save him from this pretend fear that’s been created. He was going to be something big, you could tell, and so could the rest of the cast and crew.

“Y/N…Y/N”.

You turned around to come face to face with Candice, great what did she want?

“I’m gonna need you to cover your three and a good bit of the extras today, Emily’s out with a cold”.

“Who said, and why can’t you do it?”

Candice had hated you from day one, mostly because this was her fifth movie and your first, but Nathan and Chris saw something special in your work, making you the key makeup artist.

“Listen here little girl, I’ve been doing this a lot longer than you, which means I don’t have to answer to you. You may have Nolan and Nathan wrapped around your little finger, but if they so much as hear that a sneeze or cough came from you, you’re done. Wouldn’t want the main cast getting sick now would we”.

“Is that a threat?” You said voice full of venom.

“Let’s just call it a not so friendly warning”. And with that she was gone.

“C’mon mate just talk to her”. 

This was the third time Harry had asked Fionn to talk to you, and the third time Fionn was having to say no.

“Look Harry, I already tried that, and if you don’t remember it didn’t go so well for me, she probably thinks I’m a freak”.

“You’re seeing the situation as way worse than it actually was, I mean im not gonna lie to you, you weren’t the smoothest. Look just talk to her a few more times, get comfortable”. 

Fionn wasn’t having it, he just didn’t want to embarrass himself, he liked you too much to have you think of him negatively.

“I don’t know…”Fionn could see the hope in Harry’s eyes, why did he care so much anyway?

“She’s right over there touching up Toms makeup, I’m going to go over and see if she wants to join us for dinner tonight, you don’t have to say anything, but just don’t look like your in pain ok”.

Fionn rolled his eyes at Harry’s last comment as they headed towards you. You were touching up a whiny, impatient Toms makeup, full concentration on your face, creating the cutest little line in between your furrowed brows.

“Hello love, can we talk?” You examined Toms face one last time before looking at Harry. “Yea sure, Tom you’re done you can go”. Tom fled from you and your makeup that he hated ever so much, getting a smile out of Fionn. “So love, I was wondering if you would like to grab dinner with me and the lads tonight, it would be just the cast and crew hanging out, and of course Fionn will be there”. He said the last part in a sing song voice as he pointed to Fionn who was standing behind him.

“Harry…” You said with a warning tone, hoping that he wouldn’t let on to Fionn about your infatuation with him, hopefully he hasn’t already told him. You had already told the boy that he had a soothing voice and that his skin was pretty, so if he didn’t know by now surely he wouldn’t catch on to Harry’s hints.

“Fionn we need you on set”.

Fionn locked eyes with you, quickly looking away.

“Well I’ll umm…see you at dinner then. You are uhh…coming aren’t you?” He said as he scratched the back of his head trying his best to look you in the eyes.

“If I bet on it, she’ll be coming twice tonight”. Harry said as he winked at the two of you, hands buried deep in his pockets with a cheeky smirk on his face. You could feel the red quickly take over your cheeks, and you could see it on Fionns.

“Okay…well I better go”. Fionn quickly walked away, almost as fast as Tom, heading to set trying to escape the awkward situation that Harry created.

You slapped Harry’s arm with good force. “What the hell Harry, why would you say that?”

Harry faked as if he was hurt while he rubbed his arm where you hit it, a pout on his lips.

“What’d yeh do that for?”

“What did you make a crude remark for?” Harry looked as if he had no idea what you were talking about.

“I’m not sure I know what you mean love”.

All it took was one raised eyebrow from you to get him to suddenly remember.

“Ok I’m sorry, but look come to dinner tonight and wear something Fionn would like. Maybe something a little short, I think he’s a leg guy. But you know not something shorter than you’re comfortable with, should be yourself love”.

That was such a Harry thing to say, always making sure you know you only have to do what you’re comfortable with. That’s why you’re such good friends, he never pressures you into anything you didn’t want to do.

“Fine, I’ll come to dinner, and I’ll wear something short”.

“Y/N we need you for a touch up”. One of the crew members yelled.

“That’s my girl, but not shorter than you’re comfortable with”. Harry yelled at you as you ran on set to touch up Kenneth’s face. “What was all of that about?” Harry turned around to face Candice. He wished he hadn’t spent the energy turning around just for her, especially when he needed it for swimming.

“I’m not sure what your talking about, and you do know it’s rude to eavesdrop on other people’s conversations?”

“Oh please, like anything she says is worth eavesdropping on, but the one and only Harry Styles on the other hand-” Harry always tried to be nice to everyone, but Candice made it difficult, that’s why he usually avoids her. “ and the new kid…Fee-on is it?”

“It’s pronounced Finn” Harry said dryly getting bored by the lack of interesting conversation.

“Fionn, he seems like he’s going to be something big, like you. I bet you’re big in other ways too”.

Harry turned to face her fully, a disgusted look on his face as he tried to push the nausea down from her shameless flirting.

“So what, does she like this Fionn guy? Cause I think he’s kinda cute, and I always get what I want, that is unless you’re available”.

“Yea…no I gotta go”.

You were starting to pack up all the makeup from the day, leaving out only the makeup remover so you could quickly clean the boys faces as they trailed in.

“Hey Y/N, can you get this stuff off of my face now?”

You chuckled, Tom was a very patient person, sweet too, just didn’t like makeup. Toms face was about as close to perfect as you could get, insanely chiseled with no blemishes, if it wasn’t for him being seasick you probably wouldn’t have done anything to him at all.

“Yea, sure have a seat”.

Tom sat in your chair as you dabbed some pre-cleanse on a cotton ball, wiping all the makeup from his face. Several cotton balls later and you were done, Tom smiling and feeling his makeup free face.

“Thanks love”. Tom said as he kissed the top of your head quickly before rushing out of the trailer.

“Now don’t let Fionn see that, he may get jealous…on second thought maybe he should, then maybe he’d ask you out”.

Harry strolled into the trailer, shirt already removed and now seated in your chair. Before you knew it he had already grabbed a cotton ball and was spraying water on it in an attempt to unveil his hidden tattoos.

“Ok stop. What are you doing?”Harry continued without success wiping at his chest where his sparrow was hiding underneath.

“I already told you pet, I’m gonna get the two-”

“No no no Harry, I mean with that cotton ball that you put water on, that’s not going to do anything, look put that down”.

You grabbed fresh cotton balls and put the pre-cleanse on them, gently rubbing at Harry’s dirty, sweaty skin. “I also mean no as in I told you I’m not getting involved with anyone from set, I want to stay professional”.

Harry grabbed your wrist gently, making you stop your efforts at getting the thick cover up off of him. He looked you in the eyes, seriousness taking over his face.

“Y/N, I love you, you know that, even though we haven’t known each other for very long I do. I care about you too much to see you work your life away, you’re too young, you need to live and find love. Don’t ask me how I know cause I can’t explain it, but I know you and Fionn and meant to be together”.

You sighed, you hated it when Harry was this sweet. You and Harry’s relationship was full of sarcasm and banter, so when he was this caring you got shy.

“I love you too H. Ok whatever you want, you can help, I’ll let you”. Harry’s face lit up, two big dimples popping out from his cheeks.

“Thank you love, now get back to work, I want to see my tattoos”. Harry left a while ago, you had stayed behind to remove Fionns makeup for him, you had even removed a few extras, but Fionn still hadn’t shown up. Did Harry really make him that uncomfortable earlier? Just as you were about to grab your bag and leave you heard someone stumble into the trailer. “Sorry I’m late, Chris wanted to talk to me…hope I didn’t keep you”. He looked tired, worn out, like all he wanted was a nice hot shower, a warm meal, and a soft bed to snuggle up in.

“No, no not at all. I’ve been doing stuff so I was here anyway. Have a seat”.

Fionn pulled off his jacket, then removed the shirt that hung perfectly from his shoulders. You hadn’t meant to stare, but you couldn’t help it. He had the softest looking porcelain skin, and he was fit. When you first saw the boy he just seemed very lanky, which now you know isn’t true at all. Now all you could do was imagine the hot water of the shower hitting the tight muscles of his perfectly toned back, rolling down the pale skin releasing the tension from the rest of his muscled body. “Umm, are you ok?” Great, you were day dreaming and now you looked like a freak. He probably knew you you were thinking about him, but it’s his fault for taking his stupid shirt off. “Yea I’m fine, just tired I suppose”.

You grabbed the cotton ball and started to clean the boys face. You noticed that now he seemed more comfortable around you, he was actually looking you right in the eyes as you removed the makeup and sweat from his face.

“So how was your first day on set?” He smiled at you, happy to be having a conversation with someone other than Harry.

“It was good, I loved it, every bit of it. You know, I think I could just do this for the rest of my life and never get tired of it”.

You smiled at how he lit up when he talked about his job.

“It’s nice to know that it makes you happy, that you’re not just in it for the money or the fame”. “No, I’m most definitely not in it for those things. I mean don’t get me wrong fans are amazing people, and it’s nice to be able to buy things that you need without worry, but for me it’s more than that”.

You were now just sitting and staring into his beautiful eyes as you listened to him talk about what he loves. You think to yourself that this is what you love, you’re not sure why, but you love to hear him talk about his day, his job, what he likes to do.

“Oh yea, like what?”

Fionn bit his bottom lip, trying to keep from smiling as he pondered on it. “Like how I can be so many different people, my job is never the same. I can go and play things that don’t even exist if I want too. I can go and play someone from the past that I deeply admire, or be in a movie that has a meaning behind it. I could maybe even make a difference”.

You kneeled down so you were now eye level with him, a small smile on your lips.

“You know what Fionn Whitehead, I’m about 1000% sure you were meant for this, and you are going to go very far in this industry, just don’t let it change you”.

Fionns lips were slightly parted, he was listening to every word you said, but he couldn’t help but to stare at your lips.

“I won't”. He said softly as his eyes traveled back up to yours.

“Good. Well you’re all done”. Fionn got up from your chair taking as much time as possible so he could come up with something to bring up dinner, something so you knew he wanted you there.

“Y/N?”

“Yea?” He was now playing with his fingers as he looked down at the ground, nervous. He didn’t want to seem too eager and scare you off.

“Umm, you’re still coming to dinner right”. You had a looked unsure, like you may say no. It’s not that you didn’t want to go, you were just more tired than you thought you’d be.

“Cause I … I really want you to join us. I think it’d be fun, I could introduce you to all the guys…maybe buy you a drink”.

It was cute how shy he was being. You had a huge smile that was impossible for you to try and hide, and you suddenly didn’t feel as tired anymore.

“Yea, ok yea I’ll go, that sounds great!” Fionn looked up with surprise on his face, now beaming with happiness.

“You will?”

“Yea, as long as you hang out with me so I’m not alone, or forced to listen to Harry the whole time”.

“Deal. I’ll see you there”.

“Great”.

You walked through the hotel quickly jumping into the elevator and pushing the number to take you to your floor. As soon as the elevator comes to a stop, you hop out and head to your room, unlocking your door and entering in a panic. What were you going to wear? What were you going to do to your hair and makeup?

You started shuffling through all of the clothes that you brought, trying to take in consideration of what Harry said. You pull out a green sweater dress, fishnet stockings, and maroon velvet thigh high boots.

“There, that should give me more coverage”.

You jumped in the shower, trying to wash away the sand that had blown in your hair while on the beach today. You lathered your best smelling body wash into your skin and rinsed.

“Now for makeup”. Sitting at the vanity in your room, you begin to do your eye makeup to perfection so your eye color pops, then applying the rest of your face before picking a lip color. You held up the many shades of maroon that you had to your boots, trying to match them as best as possible. You didn’t want to look like you were trying too hard, so you braided your hair back. It was still a cute look, just two messy braids with some of your fringe down to frame your face. “Ok I think I’m good, I’ve got this”.

You quickly spray yourself with perfume before grabbing your bag and heading downstairs to the uber that was waiting for you. The others were already at the place, Harry had texted you to let you know, but he said that it was good that you were going to be one of the last to arrive so it doesn’t seem like you’re too desperate.

The car pulled up the the pub that everyone was eating at, you got out of the car and closed the door behind you, praying that everyone else wasn’t just in t shirts and jeans. You opened the door walking into the entry way, stopping to take a deep breath before you enter where everyone else is. What if this is a bad idea? What if Fionn just wants to be friends and all of this is for nothing? You can’t listen to the voice in your head, you have to go in there to find out, besides worst case scenario Harry is the only one that speaks to you.

As you walk into the pub Harry quickly spots you, his mouth falling open as he gets up to meet you at the door. He pulls the both of you into the entry way, looking back to make sure no one followed him.

“You look… I mean… are you trying to give the man a bloody heart attack?”

You look down examining the outfit you had put together last minute.

“Is it that bad?” Harry’s shaking his head while biting his lip, making sure to examine you one more time.

“No, s’fucking good, you look incredible. But are you trying to attract Fionn or me? I mean you know what a good boot does to me, a Gucci bag-” he said pointing to the handbag that you had worked your butt off for for years. “and -” he said smelling your neck, “ is that YSL perfume?”

“Yes Harry it is, and I can’t help that we’re so much alike”. Harry gave you an apologetic smile.

“Ok, I’m sorry love, I’ve had a drink or two…so has Fionn by the way. He said he was nervous, that things had gone well tonight when he saw you”.

You couldn’t help but to smile when reminiscing on the moment. “It did. I think I can do this Harry, with your help that is”.

“Of course love, let’s head to the table”. You were nervous, you hid behind Harry the whole way to the table, just the thought of meeting so many people at once and finally sitting down and talking to Fionn without it being work was terrifying. “Lads, this is Y/N, Y/N this is Tom who you already know, Barry, Jack and Aneurin”.

“Hey”. You said and you smiled shyly and waved.

“Here, I saved you a seat next to Fionn, he ran to the toilet real quick”. You took the seat that Harry had saved you, next to Fionn and Tom, right across from Harry and Barry.

“Y/N, you came”. Fionn was now back at the table, looking relieved that he hadn’t been stood up, but it wasn’t a date and he didn’t invite you, Harry did, so could he have really even truly been stood up?

“Yea, told you I would didn’t I?” Fionn took his seat next to you, he looked even cuter than he did on set, and he smelled amazing. He must have showered, now the images of his tense muscles coming back to your mind. Snap out of it Y/N. His hair was fluffy, he was wearing glasses, and he had a silver hoop earring. God, could he get any hotter?

You heard someone saying your name, interrupting your thoughts, thank goodness.

“Ohhh, Y/N, as in Fionns Y/N. Well I can see why he’s so smitten”. Fionns face grew red for the third time today, as he picked up a fry and threw it at the one you believed to be Barry.

“Shut up Barry”. Fionn leaned into you, whispering in your ear not knowing the affect he has on you.

“Ignore them, they’ve been drinking, they don’t know what they’re saying”. You smiled at him, sure that your face wasn’t just red from the blush that you had applied earlier.

“You clean up nice Mr. Whitehead”.

“Oh yea, well thank you, so do you. Not that you didn’t look nice on set…I just mean… I like your outfit”. “I knew what you meant, it’s ok”. Fionn took a big sip of his beer, a drop slipping out of his lips and down his chin.

“What do you want to drink? I did promise you a drink.”  

“Surprise me”.

Fionn stood up taking his bottle with him. “I like a girl of mystery”.

Harry winked at you from across the table, a sign that he thought things were going very well. Fionn came back to the table with another beer and a glass of wine for you.

“Thank you”. Fionn took another big sip of his drink.

“So I totally didn’t even ask you how your day was earlier, sort of an asshole thing to do since you asked me huh?”

The rest of the boys were in their own little world just chatting away, it was like you and Fionn were alone.

“No, no not at all. It was good, I’m very thankful for my first project being such a big one, and getting the best cast members to work on”. “Well I do have to say that we got the best artist to work on us”. It had been at least a hour by now, you and Fionn hadn’t stopped talking. The talking slowly turned to flirting and the drinks were a huge help.

“If it’s not too bold of me Y/N, you look incredible tonight”. Fionn had rested his hand in your thigh a while ago, rubbing soft circles with his thumb on the inner flesh.

“Well of it’s not too bold if me Fionn, I didn’t think that you could get any hotter, but when I saw you tonight, you proved me wrong”.

The rest of the boys were off playing pool with some of the older cast and crew, probably trying to give the two of you some privacy. Fionn had the goofiest grin on his face, an affect of the alcohol most likely, there’s no way you had this affect on him.

“You think I’m hot?”

“Most definitely”. Fionns hand left your thigh and travelled up to your lips, his eyes locked on them as he traces them with his thumb.

“You’re absolutely edible, you have the most perfect lips”. He said as he tugged at the bottom one, watching it pop back up into place. Feeling a little more daring from your liquid courage you say,

“Why don’t you taste then”.

Fionn slowly inched his face closer to yours, his thumb holding your chin in place. His soft, warm lips capturing yours, you can taste the bitter flavor of the beer on his tongue as he slides it in your mouth. Your hand is now tugging at the hair at the bottom of his neck as he grips your thigh. Fionn rests his forehead on yours, breaking the kiss.

“I don’t think you’re easy, I mean I don’t want you to think that’s what I think. It’s just…I don’t know, I have a feeling deep down in me that we’re meant to be together. I just felt this instant connection to you”.

You kiss him one more time to reassure him that you feel the same way.

“I do too”.

“Hey, Y/N, Fionn, why don’t you two come join us?” Harry yelled from the pool table that him and the rest of the guys were just gathered around.

“Do you want to go join them?”

“Yea, I’m just going to run to the restroom and I’ll be right there”. You walked into the bathroom, Candice was stood in front on the mirror applying her lipstick.

“You know, he doesn’t really like you, and Harry’s not really your friend”.

“As if I would listen to anything you tell me, I don’t know what you’re on about anyway”.

She closed the lipstick tube and turned to face you. “Fionn. It’s all a bet I over heard them talking about it…Oh come on, you know how much I like to eavesdrop. Harry and Fionn are in a bet to see which one of them can bed you first. Harry’s the nice best friend who will end up telling you that he wants to be more than friends, and Fionns the sweet boy next door. The rest of the lads are betting wages”.

“Oh my God you are so high school. Are you that bitter about my being the key artist that you’re willing to make up lies?”  

“Believe what you want darling, but Harry’s taking me back to his tonight, and Fionn actually likes Sydney. Why would you think he would like you anyway, I mean you’re no body, at least when Sydney’s not doing makeup she’s modeling”.

Candice walked out of the restroom, leaving you to yourself. You were washing your hands, going over the conversation in your head. She’s psychotic Fionn and Harry wouldn’t do that to you. Suddenly you remember what Harry said earlier that day ‘im betting she’ll be coming twice tonight’

Walking out of the bathroom you see Fionn stood next to the pool table, Sydney draped all over him with her tongue down his throat. You felt uneasy, as if the room was spinning and this was all a bad dream. How could he? How could Harry?

Quickly running out of the pub you call for an uber to meet you a block away. As soon as you get to your hotel you change into more comfortable clothes and light a candle, taking it to the balcony with a bottle of wine. You knew you shouldn’t have gotten involved at work, and you sure as hell wouldn’t let that happen again, tomorrow you were asking for new cast members. You sipped the wine and looked over the city as your heart ached and tears stained your face. Maybe love wasn’t meant for you.

[fallen029]

Parenthood.5

Previous Chapter

"Well, this is a little disappointing."

Laxus wouldn't look up at Mirajane though as she came into the room, instead continuing to glare down at the floor as he sat on the couch, eyes glaring down. Nathan, who had been holding onto Mira's dress as her hands were full, let go and rushed back into the room. Over on the corner sat the parts of the unfinished playpen, but that didn't interest him. Oh no. He still had all those toys to play with.

"What happened?" Mira asked Laxus as she closed the door before heading to the kitchen to start putting the food portion of the groceries away. "Laxus?"

"It's stupid is what happened."

Rolling her eyes, she said, "Well, I'll look at it and see if-"

"Mira, if I can't do it, why the hell do you think that you can?"

"I'm just being helpful, Laxus."

"Well, knock it off."

When she made it back into the living room, it was to find him back over at the mess of parts, trying once more to put it together. She only sighed, heading towards the bathroom.

"I'll put his diapers and stuff in here, all right, Laxus?"

"Whatever."

She took a moment to stare at herself in the mirror. Could she really, truly, put up with Laxus for…however long it was that she was going to be putting up with him?

She wasn't sure.

"What are we going to do with all his toys?" Mirajane asked as she got back to the living room. "We can't just leave them laying out all the time."

Grunt.

Sighing, she went to sit on the floor with the little boy and help him get some of his other toys out of boxes and containers they were in.

"I guess I'll buy him a toy box next time I go out."

"Mama?" Nathan asked Mirajane after a few moments, tilting his head back to stare up at her. She only took to playing with him to distract him.

At that point, she didn't know what to say about his mother. She honestly thought that the woman would be back already.

"Hey, Laxus?"

Grunt.

"Do you know where his mother lives?"

"No," he grumbled.

"But I thought-"

"I don't go to women's houses, Mira," he said. "That's stupid."

"Then they come here?"

"Gross. No. I don't want whores in my apartment."

"Laxus-"

"I take them to hotels and shit. Or hook up with them in other places." He was so invested in his work then that he wouldn't even look back at her. "Why? Where do you hookup with men?"

"I-I don't… I'm not like you," she told him, blushing then. Nathan was gently tapping one of his new action figures against her arm, trying to get her attention, but she could only stare in shock over at the man's father. "I don't…hookup, Laxus. If I'm dating a man, I might…I… I don't want to talk about this!"

"Then shut the hell up. And hand me my headphones," he said, nodding over to where they sat on the couch. "The sound of you and him breathing is bothering me."

Rolling her eyes, she went to go do so, if only to get him zoned in on something else.

"I'm not a whore," she grumbled softly as she handed over his Sound Pod. He was on the ground while she was standing and actually looked up at her in shock after that statement.

"I never you were," he told her.

"You call all the women that you hookup with whores and then you accused me of doing the same with other guys. You-"

"They aren't whores because they have sex with me," he said. "They're whores because they throw themselves at me. They want to have the prestige of saying they've had sex with me. They think that I actually give a shit about them. They're stupid."

"Laxus-"

He only shrugged as he moved to hook his headphones onto his ears. "I don't think of you like that, Mira. I assume that if you do… I mean, I've met your boyfriends before. I was just being a dick by asking it like that."

They were both feeling awkward then and it was obvious, so she quickly went back to the little boy as he only started working once more on making the playpen.

And man if he didn't feel accomplished when that was done. He didn't mean to, but he did kinda grin, betraying his usual unattached demeanor.

"Wow, Nathan," Mirajane said as she went to set him in it. "See? Now you can be in here when Laxus is busy and I'm not around."

"Not around?" Laxus glanced at her. "I thought-"

"I have to go home at times, Laxus," she told him. "Besides, I can't stay every night."

"Why not?"

"Well… Where would I sleep?"

"In bed," he said with a slight shrug. Then she, as she was close enough, she landed a rather hard punch to his arm.

"Mira!"

"We're not… Laxus!"

"I didn't mean it like that," he growled, rubbing at his arm. "I was going to sleep out here on the couch. Unless you want to. I really don't give two shits. But hit me again and you're gonna get backhanded."

"The couch will be fine," she huffed, looking off.

"Whatever. I try and be nice and this is what I get?" He headed for the door then, but stopped short. "My wallet?"

Mira had set it on the coffee table, but quickly went to hand it over to him. Then he was gone and she had a feeling he would be for awhile.

"That's okay though, Nate," Mirajane told the little boy who was trying in vain to escape his new prison. Reaching into the playpen, she left him out before setting him on the ground. "Me and you are just fine on our own. Aren't we?"

She must have sang to him a thousand times that night. He really liked it. And she made him dinner from the things that she'd bought, as well as a plate for Laxus, which she put in the fridge. Just in case he was hungry when he got home.

"I'm a babysitter," she reminded herself. "Not a butler."

Still though, she figured it wouldn't hurt anything to make him dinner, just that once.

Nathan thoroughly liked his own though, giggling the all the while and, a couple of times, trying to feed Mirajane some of it as well. She'd only smile and let him while congratulating him on sharing.

She was busying trying to bathe him when Laxus came home. And he only stood in the doorway of the bathroom, peeking in, watching as she sat on her knees next to the tub and attempted to clean the dirty child.

"If it gets water on the floor," he said simply, "you have to clean it up."

She frowned over her shoulder as Nathan continued to splash around in the bath. "You could help, you know."

He only shrugged before turning and walking off. Not a moment alter, Mira heard his bedroom door shut.

Nathan made a noise at the sound, looking up, but Mirajane only went back to scrubbing at him.

He was rather dirty.

After his bath, Mirajane went to work making the toddler a bed out of his playpen. Then she laid him down in it, though he didn't rather seem to like that. He kept standing up and whining for her to take him out. She only turned off the light in the living room and went to lie down on the couch.

He wouldn't stop crying though. When he began whining for his mother, Mirajane only sighed and began to sing to him, wishing she had her guitar so she could at least practice while she was at it.

Twenty minutes passed before the boy drifted off. And even then, Mirajane only laid there in the darkness, as if holding her breath and waiting for him to wake back up. It wasn't until Laxus showed back up in the room that she sat up.

"Shhh," she shushed him as she pushed off the couch and followed him into the living room. "The baby's sleeping."

"Great," he grumbled as he went to open his fridge and peer inside. "So I can even use my own damn living room?"

"I think he's down for the night," Mirajane said simply. "So… Now what should I do?"

"I don't know," he grumbled. "What do you usually do?"

"I'd still be up at the bar," she told him. "And hey, I made you a plate in there. Wrapped in foil? It's your dinner."

That made him glance back at her. "Why-"

"I had to eat, so I just figured I'd make you something."

Grunt. Then he grabbed the plate and went to reheat it.

"I have some books," he offered to her then.

"What?"

"You asked what there was to do until the kid woke back up," he told her. "In my room, there's some books. You can read one of those if you wanna."

"Like books on magic or-"

"Books, Mira. Like…novels."

She frowned. "You read?"

"I ain't some kinda Neanderthal," he grumbled, glaring over at her. "Don't read 'em if you don't wanna. I don't care. I was just trying to be nice."

Curiosity got the better of her then as she headed out of the kitchen and to his bedroom. What sorts of books did Laxus Dreyar read? Probably some sort of graphic horror.

Or worse. Some sort of erotica.

Still though, you never knew until you check yourself, which was Mirajane's main driving force behind most of her snooping. That and the fact that she wanted to know everything and anything about everyone and anyone.

It was one of her faults, sue her.

She'd be in his bedroom that once, to grab the blanket and pillow for Nathan's nap, but she'd never actually looked around. It was big enough to house both a desk and a dresser, as wall as a tiny bookshelf in the far corner. Going over to it, Mirajane bent over as she began glancing at the titles and the authors, trying to see if she recognized any.

Right off the bat she noticed two books of spells, but most mages had a couple of those lying around.

Most of the books though, as she found out, appeared to be adventure fantasy style, the covers having mountains or forests on them and the backs claiming to be about someone traveling to a distant land and battle all sorts of evil. Then there were the nonfiction ones, which appeared to just traveler' guides and things.

"I said you could pick one. Not go through them all," she heard from behind her.

"You like traveling?" Mirajane asked, glancing back at him. Laxus only grunted.

"What? You wanna stay in Magnolia for freaking ever?" he grumbled, coming further into the room. "Besides, I leave Fiore a lot. I need to know about the other-"

"You've left Fiore?" she asked, looking over at him in shock.

"Well, yeah," he grumbled. "Haven't you?"

"Not really," she said slowly. "I mean…my villiage was in Fiore and then Fairy Tail is, so-"

"You should," he told her simply, his voice still sounding rather gruff, but it seemed more forced then than usually. "Travel. Why just stay here? I mean, what do you got going for you? Being a bartender?"

"Fairy Tail-"

"There's more to life than Fairy Tail," he told her simply. Slowly, he came over to the book case and pulled one out. It was a thick book. A travelers guide to Isvan. "Here. Look over this."

She took it from him, still a little shocked by not only his attitude, reading material, and demeanor, but mostly their proximity. He was so close and just staring down at her. As if he were actually interested in her.

Then the moment was over and he was walking back out of the room, no doubt figuring his food was finally warmed up, leaving her alone once more in the bedroom. Taking the book, she went over to his desk and took a seat. Spread across it were many things, mostly weird letters that, after glancing through them, Mira saw were from some of his, err, women, mostly wondering why he didn't respond or wouldn't speak to them anymore. There were some bills as well though and even a journal full of what looked like a list of things he ate and his workout schedules, kept daily.

"Little obsessive," she mumbled before figuring she'd better go ahead and get down to reading a little bit of the book, if only so that Laxus didn't accuse her of snooping again.

She was busy mostly looking at all the pictures of different tourist attractions in Isvan when Laxus came back into the room, no doubt finished eating.

"Need to mark this," he mumbled, coming up behind her. He picked up a pen and marked down on the journal what he'd just eaten. Mirajane watched before glancing up at him.

"Why do you-"

"I have the body of a god, Mirajane," he grumbled as he then shut the journal and sat it to the side. Taking a step away from her and the desk, he said, "You think genetics gave it to me? You seen Ivan or Makarov? I built this right here. I'm like a sculpture. I-"

"And the moment's over," she told him to which Laxus only snorted before going to lay down on his bed, grabbing a book off his nightstand.

"Whatever," he grumbled. "Just don't bother me."

It was like that for an hour at least. Nathan crying was what finally forced Mirajane to leave the room, Laxus calling for her to make him shut up.

Sigh.

The baby needed his diaper changed, which Mira took him into the bathroom to do. But he was also a little upset about his surroundings. She could tell. He kept asking for his mother and crying out.

Not wanting to make him feel any worse, she decided not to leave him in the playpen again. He really was all worked up. Instead she took him over to the couch, laying out on it as she laid the baby on her stomach, him snuggling up almost immediately.

"Mama," he moaned miserably. "Mama."

"Shhh." Mirajane only stroked his back gently, shutting her own eyes. "It's okay. Don't you like being here with me, Nathan? Huh? I thought that we were friend."

He took to sniveling then, but Mira only kept speaking softly to him. Eventually she found herself telling him stories. Just the basic bedtime stories that a child hears. Full of dragons and magic and all sorts of other things.

She didn't know what happened first. Her falling asleep or him, but next thing she knew, there was a loud banging at the door, startling both her and the toddler snuggled against her chest.

Before she had time to react, Laxus was in the room, rushing over to the door. When he opened it, he found Bickslow on the other end, drunk and declaring his hatred of the other members of the Thunder Legion.

"I work hard! Hard as Ever and Freed," Bickslow was venting almost immediately. "But what don't they give me? Respect!"

"Respect," his dolls floating around his head crooned.

"And they treat my babies like trash," he yelled. "Trash!"

"Trash," they agreed.

"Bickslow," Laxus growled before reaching out to grab him by the shoulder and pull him in, the babies narrowly missing being shut out as he slammed the door right after.

"I already got the kid yellin'. You think that I need you making a scene to? I have neighbors, you know." He tossed his bodyguard from him then before going to turn on the light in the living room. Nathan was whining them, but Mirajane only sat up, rubbing his back gently, trying to sooth him.

"Mira," Bickslow greeted loudly at the sight of her. "This ain't the guild!"

"Shut the fuck up," Laxus growled at him as Mira only sighed, getting to her feet.

"Nate needs to go back to sleep, Laxus," she reminded as she held the boy in her arms. "So maybe-"

"Take him to my room," he grumbled, not glancing at her. "For now."

"The baby!" Bickslow seemed shocked to see him. "So you are a papa, boss? Me too. Right, babies?"

"Papa," they all agreed, rushing to circle around him. Mira only headed out of the room, knowing the longer she stayed in there, there more riled up Nathan would be.

As she found out, Laxus bed was actually kinda comfy. If he hadn't told her previously though that he didn't just take a bunch of women to bed in there, she probably wouldn't have even sat on it. But he had assured her before that he didn't and, honestly, it made sense. If the letters were any indication, Laxus was (for some reason she didn't quite get) a catch to some women. The last thing he wanted was for his one night stands to know where he lived.

"There you go," Mirajane sighed as she laid Nathan down next to her in the fluffy purple sheets. "You feel better? Huh?"

"Toys," she heard Bickslow yell from the other room. "You got such cool toys, boss."

"Those aren't yours," Laxus growled in return. "So don't touch 'em! Now lay down on the couch."

"But boss-"

"Either that or I kick you and your demented dolls out!"

Mirajane only took to snuggling the toddler, trying to distract him from the yelling. The last thing she wanted was for him to start screaming too.

"Bad," he told her after he calmed down, pointing at the closed bedroom door. "Bad."

"Yeah, Daddy's pretty bad," she agreed. "And Bickslow's not much better. But that's okay. 'cause you're so good. Aren't you? Huh?"

Eventually she got the child to calm down again and fall back to sleep. And, against her better judgment, she dozed off as well once more.

Besides, his bed was comfy.

She wasn't too far gone though to notice when the bedroom door was opened once more. She heard the heavy footsteps of Laxus as he walked across the room and over to the desk, which he immediately sat down at.

"Night, Laxus," she whispered.

She was expecting a grunt back, but after a moment, she got a, "Night," just before she truly fell back asleep.

Next Chapter

Full Story on Fanfic

Full Series on Archive

[thatgirlintheaudience]

I saw Bandstand August 11, Friday night at the Jacobs theatre. Where do I begin? Okay, I’m just gonna brag about Corey Cott first because he’s a star and I couldn’t take my eyes off of him the entire time. He is the REAL DEAL, everyone. He belts, sweats, spits, cries, and acts his face off. He must get a Tony in my lifetime, he was absolutely brilliant. Uh, and Laura Osnes sings like an angel, looks like an angel, and literally radiates off that stage. And biggest shout out to all the dancers (including Max Clayton, damn those lifts) and Andy Blankenbuehler. If they did not win the Tony for best choreography, I don’t know how I would’ve reacted. 

The first line Corey sings in the show is “finally home and finally safe” and I think my mouth was on the floor (I was in complete disbelief for the first 20 minutes because I was in the 2nd row and Corey and Laura were right there and I was just freaking out). Donny Novitski is such a challenging song to sing and Corey does not mess around with it. I mean, the last note is crazy. “Ready to riiiiIIIISSSSEEEE.” And I love when he sings, “Bobby soxers swooned at my charm, backed up by my brothers in arms.” His voice is just silk on that line. And Corey in tight 1940′s clothes is my aesthetic in life. And when he’s trying to find members for the band, he’s like “yeah, young and good looking guys like us”, lol. Who I Was is a beautiful song and Laura is lovely in it. Beth Leavel was great as Mrs. Adams, she was a real crowd pleaser. I loved the scene when Donny came over for dinner at Julia’s house, and I loved the scenes between Mrs.Adams and Julia.  I love how music was such an escape for the band and it really comes across in the song, Breathe. Also, the dancers hung onto the backs of the band members, representing their burdens from the war and it was unique and I thought it was really cool. Also, there was one scene where Donny starts playing the piano and all of his burdens (the dancers) run away and I thought that was beautiful.  You Deserve It is such a fun song, and I love when Corey and Laura sing together. Laura’s pipes in Love Will Come and Find Me Again and that last note!!! “AaaaGGGAAIIIiiiNNNNN.” And I love that blue dress!

 RIGHT THIS WAY. RIGHT THIS WAY. RIGHT THIS WAY. This is my favorite song. Oh my god, Corey ,like, drops to the ground and Julia yells “Donny!” and he’s like, “there is a train..” which is what he sang with Michael, Julia’s husband, while they were in battle. And those drums at the beginning too, wow.  And this takes place right after they realize they don’t have enough money to go to New York after winning the contest, which hyped it up even more. Corey had tears in his eyes the entire time and it was just amazing to see live, and I didn’t know Julia was in that number so that was cool. But, like when he sings “losing my faith, while busting my ass,” and “all of the wrongs will be made right” I get shivers, his voice is gold, and him and Laura are just the ultimate duo. And they all line up at the edge of the stage for the last note and it was an amazing act one closer. 

NOBODY. This is such a jam! Corey looks amazing at the beginning and the chest hair is real, ya’ll. Omg, but the dancers sliding in the chairs and almost falling off the stage, I was like holy crap. And the lifts and Laura singing upside down, like how much talent we can fit into one number? Corey air played the piano right in front of my seat and I died right on the spot. I love The Boys are Back and the call and response they do with Donny. Donny and Julia are so cute when writing I Got A Theory and the dancing and enthusiasm in that number was delightful to watch. Donny explaining to Julia how Michael died was really emotional and Laura is such a good/pretty crier. And you could tell Donny was just devastated to tell her that he was involved in his death. Everything Happens was an emotional song and was a great scene between Mrs.Adams and Julia. 

Corey singing Welcome Home was beautiful, I loved how Julia wrote it as a poem and then gave it to the boys as a gift. A Band in New York City was such a fun number and if you’ve ever visited New York, you can definitely relate to some of the things they discuss in it. And Laura does a growl with her voice in it, which was awesome. And there are QUICK CHANGES for Donny and Julia which surprised me, but Laura is the queen of the quick change.

 THIS IS LIFE. The chemistry they have is undeniable. I love that they wrote this song for the show because life is not perfect, especially after the war and happily ever after is never as easy as the movies make it seem. It’s such a perfect song to depict Donny and Julia’s conflicting feelings for each other. Okay, but the This Is Life reprise...omg, just RIP me. When Corey hits those notes, my heart literally soars. I touched my heart when he did and was just like..is he real? I had the same reaction as I did when I heard it on the cast album for the first time. And then the host comes out for the contest and he pointed right at me, so yeah, fun fact. And then there was this dance that reenacted what would have happened if Michael and Julia reunited after the war that was beautiful. Shout out to Max Clayton again!

Welcome Home finale is amazing and is so powerful live. It just gets faster and faster and Laura has to keep up with it vocally. And I loved the girl that comes at the end to ask for Donny’s autograph and he’s so nice to her and he sings the line, “swooned at my charm’ again and Julia laughs at him. Anyway, it was an amazing show that deserves recognition and a LONGER RUN, but it is closing September 17th so please try and go see it! These actors put their heart and soul into this show every night. 

At the stage door, Joey Pero, Brandon J. Ellis, James Nathan Hopkins, Joe Carroll, Corey Cott, Laura Osnes, and Carleigh Bettiol all came out which was super exciting. You can see my pictures under the tag, stage door. If you have any questions or comments please tell me. Thank you for reading!

[theoperaghostsstudent]

Get to know me tag

Tagged by @bookwormravenclawgirl ((Y’all should really follow her btw *finger guns*)) RULES: You Must Answer All Statements and Tag 20 Peoples

THE LAST

1. Drink: Water

2. Phone Call: My grandma

3. Text Message: I sent my grandpa the pictures he took using my snapchat so he could make them his phone’s background, lol

4. Song you listened to: Voices in my head from Be More Chill 

5. Time you cried: A little while ago

HAVE YOU EVER…

6. Dated someone twice: No 

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yeah

8. Been cheated on: Yeah

9. Lost someone special: Yes

10. Been depressed: Yep

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nah

FAVOURITE COLOURS

12. Blue

13. Green

14. Black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. Made new friends: Yeah, and I’m really thankful to have them in my life

16. Fallen out of love: Yes

17. Laughed until you cried: Yep

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Kinda?

19. Met someone who changed you: “I believe that everyone that you meet changes you in some way so yeah.” - @bookwormravenclawgirl ((This is such a great answer so I’m gonna leave it, lol))

20. Found out who your friends are: Yep

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yeah

GENERAL

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Practically all of them since I don’t usually add people I’ve never met

23. Do you have any pets: I have a pupper and a woofer, and I miss my angry betta fish that was fueled with rage

24. Do you want to change your name: No

25. What did you do for your last birthday: My boyfriend at the time took me to eat and then took me shopping and to watch a movie

26. What time did you wake up: Late afternoon because I’m a lazy piece of shit

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I don’t even remember, but probably sleeping because of my pain meds

28. Name something you can’t wait for: To start college

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: A few minutes ago (I had to tuck her into bed since she was in too much pain to do it herself)

30. What are you listening to right now: I just started watching Game of Thrones, so you can only imagine what I’m listening to, like holy crap, wtf?

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: No, I don’t think so

32. Something that is getting on your nerves: Anxiety and my condition (RSD/CRPS/AMP) *finger guns*

33. Most visited website: Tumblr

34. Hair color: Dirty blonde and ashe blonde? Idek

35. Long or short hair: Long

36. Do you have a crush on someone: 

37. What do you like about yourself: Uhhhhhhhh

38. Piercings: My ears

39. Blood type: O+

40. Nickname: ChuChu, Bella, or Clau

41. Relationship status:

42. Zodiac: Aries

43. Pronouns: Any are fine, but I mostly go with She/they

44. Favorite TV Show: I can’t really pick one?? Maybe Stranger Things?

45. Tattoos: Not yet 

46. Right or left handed: Right

47. Surgery: I’ve had a handful of them because of a reoccurring problem

48. Sport: I used to skateboard and surf, but now I can only really watch sports, so football.

49. Vacation: Once I went on a cruise, and that was fun

50. Pair of trainers: I don’t understand the question???

51. Eating: ......

52. Drinking: I had some water?

53. I’m about to: Take my sleeping meds or pain meds, so I have to decide

54. Waiting for: Season 2 for a few shows a like

55. Want: To help my family and my friend and their family

56. Get Married: I want to in the future...

57. Career: I want to be a dentist, but for now I’m jobless

58. Hugs or kisses: Hugs please

59. Lips or eyes: Eyes

60. Shorter or taller: Either?

61. Older or younger: Depends on the person?

62. Nice arms or nice stomach: ?????

63. Hook up or relationship: Relationship

64. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER…

65. Kissed a stranger: No

66. Drank hard liquor: Nope

67. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No, I freak out if I can’t see so I keep my glasses with me everywhere

68. Turned someone down: Yes

69. Sex on the first date: No

70. Broken someone’s heart: Most likely...

71. Had your heart broken: Yeah, but not for the reason you’d think? Idk, I’m stupid

72. Been arrested: No

73. Cried when someone died: Yep, and *Crying btw

74: Fallen for a friend: Yes

75. Yourself: ??

76. Miracles: Considering I’ve almost died plenty of times, yeah, definitely believe in those (and relying on them most of the time)

77. Love at first sight: Sometimes?

78. Santa Claus: Oh geez, I’m Jewish but I still like to imagine the guy is real, lmao

79. Kiss on the first date: No

80. Angels: Like I said, I’ve been pretty close to death, so yeah

81. Current best friend’s name: Malu, Nathan, Logan, Janelle, and one other person I’d like to add

82. Eye color: Light brown or just brown

83. Favorite movie: Either Trolls, Labyrinth, or the Princess Bride

Tagged: Anyone who wants to go for it, lol

[ayuok]

Here’s my life update

So a few weeks ago I get this message from a girl in the wind ensemble, and it’s just a sticker of a waving cat. I’d never talked to her aside form seeing her between our lessons or in the wind ensemble, and we have a weird conversation because it sent in her purse. Fast forward a few days, and there’s a wind ensemble party that I most likely wasn’t going to go to especially since before was my first LTMC meeting. I get message from her making sure I knew that the location moved, and I was kinda touched that even after all these years of not going to these things, someone still wanted to make sure I could make it. So I ended up going, and it was at Andrew’s house, so I knew we could talk about LTMC after if we felt like it. (I’ll note this would have been the second party I’d ever go to, and the first one was the day before for Cinco de Mayo). It was a super laid back party. The only spot to sit down was by a guy sitting next to Kaitlyn, and it turns out to be her roommate Challen, and we all pretty much talked the whole time. The next day was a Zumba master class that Andrew told me about, so I was super hyped. I show up, and Andrew, Ashley, and Kaitlyn were there. And between all the songs Kaitlyn and I kept glancing at each other like “You okay?” “That song was crazy” yadayada. During one of the songs, there was a partner section, and we just kinda danced together for a bit, and it was fun. So that happens, whatever good time. Not a few minutes after I get home,  I get a message from her talking about the Zumba class, and since then we have talked everyday for a majority of the day, she even talks to me on her lunch breaks, and through all this talking we both discovered that we have a LOT in common, and it’s kinda weird? I’m not gonna lie, I’ve kinda neglected to tell her a few things, because I didn’t want it to seem like “Oh yea, that’s also my favorite thing!” to try and force a connection because I fucking hate that. And the reason I fucking hate it is because I used to do it in elementary school and I felt like such a poser. So the next week we’re talking pretty casually, and then there was a day where Ollis and I were both home playing games, and we just sat on the couch all day. I’m playing games and talking to Kaitlyn the whole time, and around 5pm he just goes “Who the fuck are you talking to?” And I tell him, and it dawns on me that ‘wow we have been talking a lot... this is kinda weird...’ I knew she had a boyfriend because she changed he profile picture on facebook one day during the semester. So at this point I check it out, and she’s no longer in a relationship, and, again because of the kind of person I am, and Ollis hyping me up I start kind of freaking out.  Like this girl just started talking to me pretty much out of nowhere isn’t that weird? I really haven’t had anyone express interest in me because I was in a long-term relationship for the past four years, and everyone I knew in college knew me as being in a relationship.  Then I start getting into a philosophical life talk with myself like am I ready for a relationship, maybe there’s just a mistake on facebook, who could I talk to about this, that sort of thing. I catch myself thinking all this stuff, and I go  Hold the fuck on. You sound like a fucboi right now! Someone’s talking to you, and you just go to the idea that their interested in you. Grow the fuck up, and just take it as it is.  So I chill out. While all of this is happening I have two things on my mind: 1. I need a job for the summer. 2. I need to go see my dad in Asia before getting that job. So because I need to see my dad first before getting a job, I try to deal with that issue. Turns out I lost my passport, and had to get a new one. Now of course I only found this out the day summer started and he asked when I want to come down, so I start freaking out like I’ll have to push getting a job now, and it costs $200+ to get a passport with expedited shipping. So whatever I go immediately to get a passport, and kinda realize, yea I don’t think I’ll be able to go because... I had applied for JCPenney where Ollis works, and he told me he had given me a good referral, and I had a really good shot at getting hired. I’m not able to make the first group interview because I had a final that day, and they were gonna get back to me on another date. This is why I couldn’t go to Asia. I didn’t know when the other interview would be, and I didn’t know how fast they would hire me. Fast forward to where I was with the Kaitlyn story, and Ollis told me I probably won’t get the job because they put up blackout days for inventory for the week I would be gone at LTMC. At this point I kinda gave up hope for working there. I needed those days, and if they weren’t allowing employees to take time off then, then I was screwed. This is when I started vague blogging about life being really stressful.  Hopping back into the Kaitlyn story, all the time we’ve been talking we also went to Zumba together. So then the weekend is coming and somehow Beauty and the Beast comes up as we’re talking, and I told her how I’d never seen it, and she says that it’s playing at the Joe near the end of June, and that “we” should go. Now I took this “we” as just about anyone does. You know when you’re talking with an acquaintance, and they bring up the idea that “we” should do that thing. No one is really committing to it, and you both just say ‘Totally! We are so doing it.’ Anyways, we keep talking and she’s kinda hyping it up, and I say that I probably can’t wait to see it till the end of June, I’ll note I think this is all happening around the second/third week of May, and will probably need to see it sooner. She say’s to tell her when so she can come with. Again I took this as a the earlier “we”, and was like ‘okay yea sure, how does this Thursday after Zumba sound?’ and she says it sounds great. So now I’m thinking “... okay...that’s not what I was expecting at all” Fast forward through the week that we’re talking the whole time, and sure enough we go to Beauty and the Beast Thursday, and it was stupendous, and we both had a great time.( For brevity’s sake just know we talk every day because I’m getting tired of typing it and know how many times I will) Fast forward through the week, and one day after Zumba she says she wants to get froyo, and I ask if I could accompany her because that sounds good. The store in the Joe isn’t open, and she asks if I wanna go to the one on Mae Anne, and I agree. We “race�� there, and we both have an amazing time over foryo. This is where I find out that this girl is allergic to dairy. Not lactose intolerant, but allergic. However, she loves dairy and cheese, and will portion herself just a little bit every now and then to eat it. (Truly a woman after my own heart). Later on in the week, I end up going over to her house to play magic and board games with her roommate Challen. We have an awesome time. We went Chili’s after a while, and played Life on the little tablets they have there, and somehow Challen and I started talking like old people for the rest of the evening, and Kaitlyn was laughing the entire time. We went for froyo after dinner still old people voices, still a great time. Hung out the rest of the evening, and it was all so much fun. We continue talking and zumba-ing and somehow through our conversations we make a list of movies that we want to see together, and the next day, I go over to watch LOTR, and hang out like the previous venture.  It’s around this time I have my interview with JCPenney, and they hired me on the spot, even with me needing the time off. However, I need to wait for the background check to clear. Spoiler alert! It takes two weeks. After getting hired I immediately tell my Dad, “Hey I can’t come to Asia to see you”. Had I known it was going to take two weeks for my background check, I could have, but no.  Back to Kaitlyn, I need to say this because it’s one of the main reasons I feel like we have a connection. She wants to hang out with me. She actively asks me, “Hey do you wanna do this? Yo, we should do this.” First off, I’m not used to people wanting to hang out with me, second off, I’m really not used to a single person wanting to continually hang out with me (Aside from my main clique of friends of course) so many times.  As so many of my friends know, they’re my purpose for everything and my greatest joy, and my favorite thing to spend my money on is them. I love hanging out with my friends. I’m not really used to that the other way around??? Anyways, so we’re watching LotR with Challen because he’s never seen it top to bottom, and the whole time Kaitlyn and I are freaking out over the music, making jokes, doing fan theories, all sorts of stuff, and just having a great time. Challen ends up just taking selfies the whole movie. After this we make more plans to watch movies, and hang out and go to the gym  OH MY GOSH THE GYM So like the second week, I think this was even before Beauty and the Beast, we both decided to hit up the gym together. And we were there for like two hours doing an All Body workout, and it was really enjoyable. We looked at food on the cycling machines for like a half hour talking about what we liked. (This is actually when I found out she was allergic to dairy) So the next day after LotR, Nathan and I go to the gym together, and because I’ve been trying to take more pictures this summer, I’ve been taking a few with Kaitlyn, and he asks me what’s up, and I tell him the majority of what’s been going on, and he’s weirded out because he knew she had a boyfriend because this semester they played a duet together for the clarinet recital, and I believe he was interested in her. I tell him that she doesn’t anymore according to FB, and he gets this twinkle in his eye, and says “Really~?”  I don’t know why I am the way I am, but it was at this moment that I thought to myself, “Oh no... he’s gonna go after Kaitlyn... I don’t want that to happen” Like, when Nathan first told me he was kind of looking to hang out with Kaitlyn I was cheering him on because I had no idea who she was. But now that I remembered all of that, I felt terrible. Not because I was also interested, but because I flat out gave my support to him not two months ago, and now didn’t want to hear anything about it. This is when I realized I had developed feelings for her, and when the vaguing began. She didn’t have a boyfriend, but Nathan told me she was really into him when they talked about it, and now I realized that she probably needed some time to heal and figure out life. I had already been trying not to just put myself out there, and just let our friendship grow, but now I became very self aware of my behavior and actions around her. All the while we hung out from then on I was 100% myself, as I usually am, but the last thing I wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable or that I was looking at a possible relationship between us. All the while I was doing this though, we just really naturally came together? We talk about it a lot of how easy it is to talk to one another, and that it’s so easy to just hang out and we don’t feel like we have to hide a part of ourselves when we hang out.  I’m gonna skip more of the “we hang out and it’s great” because there’s a lot of it, except for one time in particular It was the day Beauty and the Beast came out, and it was around 11. She messages me asking if I wanted to go on an adventure to Chic-fill A and pick up Beauty and the Beast with her, and watch it after. I told her I could do all the adventuring, but needed to be home for a few hours, but that we could hang out afterwards. She picks me up from house, and we’re out for like three hours, and, like always, It’s a great time. And again, this whole thing of people wanting to hang out with me. Who does that??? So I get back home, go to lunch again with Ollis and Zack for our summer of fun new restaurant of the week, and after that I go hang out with Kaitlyn again.  Skipping all the specifics, we hung out 5/7 days last week. We didn’t plan to, we just ended up making the plans each day as they came. I started working this past Thursday, and again we hung out quite a few times since then. All weekend I’m pretty sure. She’s off on Sunday, so Saturday after work, we hung out, played magic, watched a few movies, and then after the movie it was about midnight, and that’s usually when I’d go home if we hung out that late, and I was making my normal body movement to leave, and she asks if I wanted to play more magic. I didn’t really want to stop hanging out, so I agreed and we played for a half hour. After the games were done there was a weird air, like, neither of us wanted the night to end, so we started rolling dice and flipping a ton of coins just adding up numbers, and having competitions. After that was kind of said and done, the air returned, and I ask if she was hungry, and immediately she jumps on her phone looking for places that are open.  We end up going to Denny’s and that was probably the best Denny’s trip of my life. Not the food... never the food, but hanging out with her. Another thing I forgot to mention that’s been really building this bond is that whenever we finish hanging out, she’ll message me right when I get home strangely enough and thank me for coming over and how good a time it was. So after getting home at 4am that night, I decided that I wanted to talk to her about what was going on between us. I didn’t know if we were hanging out, if we were going on dates even though neither of us specifically said so. Most importantly, and this was the part that was stressing me out so much those few weeks ago when I started vagueing about it, if there was something between us. We have such an amazing friendship that blossomed out of nowhere within a month and a half, and I didn’t want to risk it by making it seem like I was only interested if there was a possibility for a romantic relationship. So Monday night, we hung out, went out for dinner, watched Moulin Rouge with Challen, watched some youtube. Then Challen went to bed, and we listened/sang along/ reenacted the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack together. When it finished that weird air came about, and she just said “Hey we need more movies for our list” we went through 700 hits of a movie website adding certain ones to our list, and when we finished I knew it was the only time I had left to talk about it because she was gonna go to bed. So I asked her. I asked her if we were just hanging out, or if she was interested in something more.  Please don’t ever have an important talk like this for the first time at 2 in the morning. Because then the next day you’re never sure if you just caught them off guard or if they were tired or what. In this case it might have made things a little ‘smoother’? She got pretty frazzled and asked what I said, and I just said  “Are... are we a thing?” And in this conversation she completely laid to rest everything I had been stressing about. She told me that she wasn’t sure if we had been just hanging out or if we were going on dates the whole time, but that she definitely liked me, but she still needed time to get her life together, and decide. I told her how that was the most important thing for me was that she was doing what she needed, and that I was trying my best not to make her feel uncomfortable by giving out signs that she didn’t want to or wasn’t ready to reciprocate.  The whole month I had been trying to maneuver my way into talking with people about what was going on. I wanted to talk to Andrew, I wanted to talk with her roommate, but in the end I just needed Tiffany to tell me to just talk to her about it, and I’m so happy I did.  Kaitlyn and I have talked about that conversation once since then, and it was a very healthy and open conversation, and we’ve still been talking every day, and hanging out a lot. I missed a lot of the bonding stuff like how she’s a dancer and I really love to dance, and she wants to take me to a swing dance class, and how she really wants to meet Rango, and that she thinks it’s cute that I’ve told him all about her, or that she thinks the universe sets has a few things that are meant to be, but let people live their lives, and other stuff like that, but yea.  So there’s my life update. I’m sorry it took so long to update. I’m sure you were all annoyed by me vaguing for a week that I wanted to talk to people, and then fell off the face of the Earth, but instead of having time to vague blog, I ended up just hanging out with her, so I think it worked out pretty well. In the end if we decide we should just stay friends, that will still be phenomenal, but I’d really like to see how we can build each other. Thank you all for your support, and talking to me.