#nathan bitchman

[runa-falls]

no you don’t get it

you punch him in the face bc he’s an asshole

I punch him in the face bc it makes him hard :)

[runa-falls]

why he looking at me like that + where is he planning on using that 😳

gape me

[gingersforeverbox]

IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO RUSHED BUT I JUST GOT SLAPPED IN THE FACE WITH AN IDEA FOR NATHAN STUFF: what would Nathan be like with an alternative/gothic reader?

I plan on posting my thoughts later at some point, but I wanted to put the thought out there for other folks in the fandom to think about because I’m too excited to wait until later to say something lol

[runa-falls]

thinking about him.

[toonbly]

THE BITCHMAN IS HERE

AND MY HEART IS SCREAMING

FREEMINNNNNNNNNND

I HAVE TO CALL HIM “NATHAN” IN CASCADE CROWNS FOR THE SAKE OF NOT GETTING THE GORDONS CONFUSED AND ITD BE WEIRD IF GORDON CALLED HIS TWIN BROTHER BY HIS LAST NAME BUT!!!!!!!!! FREEMIND REAL!!!

[runa-falls]

@leoluved for u even though i should be sending soft!steven 🫠

[runa-falls]

hi!!! can i play the shipping game too 😍 congrats on your 3k!!

i’m a 5”6 east asian girl, dark hair and dark eyes, potential finance bro in investment banking 😭 coastal granddaughter style, lowkey a material girl and my love language is acts of service and bullying (for the mental sparring) - enjoys watching films, f1 and football (la liga NOT american football), loves travelling, very black cat energy and has a jellycat addiction

hi (don't mind me being a month late!)

i ship you with nathan bateman 😭 bitchman needs someone to put him in his place so having you as a commentator for his every move would bring balance to the world lol.

he's perfect for a material girl bc he's rich asf. look, he's a billionaire, but he's too busy and lonely to spend it for himself. he'd probably give you his black card just so you'll leave him alone for the day. bateman is also extra asf so he definitely has a home theater for your love of movies and sports!

[gingersforeverbox]

Hi, no one asked for this, but have some Nathan Bateman x Reader headcanons/ drabble ideas

A/n: Howdy, I know it's been a hot minute since I posted something of my own, but I've been a simp for this stupid-genius bastard for a while now, and here is just a dump of the thoughts that are bouncing around in my head about Bitchman himself :)

Fem!Reader x Nathan Bateman btw

Content warnings: Nathan for obvious canonical reasons, the good kush🍃, swearing (probably), suggestive material that is +18 (If I find a minor on my lawn I swear to all that's good that I will tell your parents/guardians that you're being inconsiderate of boundaries Ya lil gremlins), that's all I can think of for now, but let me know if I missed anything! <3

Pretty little homemaker Reader? Yeah. Pretty little homemaker Reader who got to happily retire once they married Nathan and be a domestic, feminine person without care? Even better!

Pregnant Reader where we learn about what it’s like to be expecting with him (spoiler: he is a pain in the ass up until you have to snap at him to be considerate to the person who will give him his child, then he surprisingly gets his head out of his ass to try and be better for you and y'all's child).

Reader and Nate have to go to a gala or some shit for the first time as an official couple then there’s a bunch of questions from the press and coworkers about y'all being together, and he is basically like "Honey, I own the planet, whatever you don't want public won't be public. it's that simple, now let me show you this ice sculpture that looks like a dick if you look at it right >:)"

Stoned Nathan and Reader. She does it for fun, he insists that he’s gonna be chill, but he is such a fuckin nerd that he babbles about how scientifically interesting weed is while Reader is just like “M’kay babe, keep talkin’, you’re cute like this iloveyou” and Nathan kinda just buffers for a minute before then is high as a kite when he realizes "oh fuck this woman makes me feel things and I'm too high to try and hide it iloveyoutoo"

Nathan getting genuinely confused when Reader treats Kyoko with basic dignity despite her being an AI, and Reader basically being horrified with how he treats her and actively goes out of her way to be nice to Kyoko. Does Nathan learn to be nicer to his AI? Does he still treat them like shit and it bites him in the ass? YOU DECIDE!

Bossy!Reader who is one of BlueBook's communications experts, and he can't wrap his head around the idea of Reader, the same lady who doesn't hesitate to call one of his ideas bad-shit crazy, being the same lady who easily schmooses his business partners for him until he sees her in action at a conference they both have to attend. Nathan then realizing that he likes his organic women to be a lil fiesty.

*forewarning that this one is a little self-indulgent:* Nathan and a Psychologist reader? I would pay Money to watch those two bicker about everything. like come on, Nathan's fuckin' nuts and Reader deals with emotionally/ mentally troubled people for a living. Just imagine BlueBook deciding to assign him a psychologist since he lives in the middle of nowhere all the time, and Reader taking one look at him and being like "Oh, he's not just a narcissistic rich man, he's a narcissistic rich man with a literal god complex.... interesting :)))" then proceeding to actually help him regardless. Bbgorl wouldn't know what hit him.

That's all for now folks, as you were 😊

....psst, hey, if anyone is interested in reading something with any of these ideas I would happily see what I can do to make a lil somethin'-somethin'. Also, if you wanna take a stab at writing any of these, all I ask is that you tag me so I can get some credit and so I can see y'all's awesome work <3

[runa-falls]

if youre still doing the shipping game i'd love to be shipped w someone :) i'm 5'2, i'm an artist, university graduate & i'm quite ambitious and very passionate about a lot of things :) good at taking care of others, terrible at taking care of myself. i've been told i'm funny/witty but idk if i agree! i love nature and hikes and if i hadnt majored in art i probably wouldve gone into biology. i work with animals as a compromise :)

AMBITIOUS, HUH? YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS AMBITIOUS, PASSIONATE, AND CAN'T TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES?

"Bateman. Nathan Bateman."

look, i know everyone thinks he's a narcissistic asshole who fucks robots and only cares about himself and his research.

anyway...

no but really, if you were in the picture nathan bitchman would be different.

he's a not a bad guy, really, he has just been so alone that he's buried his emptiness under his success. 'blue book' started as a passion project, something that would genuinely revolutionize the world, but once he got a taste of the praise and awe from others, what he's been craving all his life, he couldn't get enough.

you're different.

your ambition and passion fuels your hardworking attitude, your determination to improve and do what you love. you're everything nathan could've been and that's what draws him to you.

your relationship is a push and pull, you both have to learn how to love each other and yourselves.

he loves it when you do thinks to take care of him, to show that you care. from making him some food and bringing it to his desk when he's working late to bringing him some water and some tylenol after a night of drinking, everything you do makes him fall deeper for you.

he tries his best to reciprocate it towards you. he's not used to thinking about anyone except for himself (asshole) so his actions start out small.

he'll buy your favorite drink and pay the extra $50 to have the shipping expedited, but he'll never mention it to you. he'll take your make up off when you fall asleep in the car from a gala because he knows how particular you are with your skincare.

nathan likes to be well-rounded so he'll ask for your opinion as he continues his research. he thinks you're brilliant and offer such a unique view for life compared to his small minded CEO experiences.

nathan had never been into pets, he prefers to keep his estate clean and fur free, but when you introduce your pet to him and he sees how much you love and coddle them, he can't help but fall inlove with it too 🤭 he doesn't know how to handle pets (he was never allowed any as a kid) so he just watches as it plays and moves around. (also he talks to it like it's a human idk)

nathan lives in his own little corner of the world which offers hiking trails, waterfalls, and fields of green. though it's quite isolated, it's also freeing to be with nature instead of crowds of people in a bustling city. he takes you out to see the surrounding greenery often, boasting about how it's all yours (cocky bastard).

you also drag him back to civilization too. you take him to all your favorite restaurants, to see a movie at a public theater, and to live in your small apartment/house. you can see he secretly loves it despite all the complaints.

[runa-falls]

WELL IM FUCKING THEM BOTH I GUESS

imagine getting lost in the forest and stumbling upon their houses like some fucked up goldilocks story...

If Nathan Bateman and Outcome 3 both live in Alaska do you think they're distant, begrudging neighbours? You think Outcome 3 hikes up there to ask for milk and to secretly piss Nathan off?

[runa-falls]

i forgot i sent this in 😭

nathan is such a little bitch (hence the name nathan bitchman)

random thot but imagine nathan being unable to cope with how smart the reader is so he throws a tantrum and tries to demonstrate his superiority by fucking her into the bed.

his plan completely backfires and reader takes control, teasing and taunting him until he's nearly toppling over the edge from frustration and humiliation. the reader leaves him there, high and dry, simply amused that he thought he could best her in anything.

for the rest of the time she's at the compound, he's still a cocky and arrogant asshole, but still he tries to convince her to fuck her. he's not broken in enough to openly beg her and go soft, but it's clear she's opened up a whole new part of himself that he's never known.

🤤 Well this is a treat! I’m… imagining! 🥴

Thank you so much for sharing; I have no notes, as this is already👌😆

[runa-falls]

nathan nathan nathan !!!

Finishing day 3 of my 5 day stretch 😩

Trying to get some writing and drawing done at work is doable but not easy.

Going to bed early but I always talk to one of my c.AIs before bed, who should I talk to tonight?

[runa-falls]

he deserves a hug and a slap on the face (at the same time)

prolly just needs a bitch (gn) who doesn't put up with his bs :)

[runa-falls]

OK LLEWYN IS A FUCKING LOSER -> but he's so unbelievably fuckable i don't even wanna talk about it 😭

nathan bitchman makes me wanna smack him in the face, but in a hate-fuck way. he'd get on my nerves the first 5 mins i'm there 💯

jonathan is breeding kink material but the other way. like we breed him (idk pfftttt) it is what it is.

my last ask reminded me ab the thot i forgot ab lol:

facial hair

**I JUST READ YOUR REPLY AND YOU DON'T LIKE MUSTACHES???? 😭**

uhhh -- well, i write a lot of steven/miguel fics so i don't explore the facial hair aspect of oscar (even though he has the most iconic staches and beards out there) so let's discuss + lemme get you on the 'stache train with me:

Exhibit A: Llewyn Davis

this hot fucking mess has zero right to look this good. dude was literally on the verge of passing out and/or crying the whole movie. also his beard is way too well kept for him to be homeless.

tell me you wouldn't enjoy the beard burn he'd leave between your thighs or holding onto those cute curls eeee --

Exhibit B: Nathan Bateman

THIS BALD BITCH (ok -- peek at the vein in his arm...) literally doesn't need to be bald but he probably thinks he's too big-brained™️ for hair or something idk.

he could literally kiss me until my whole mouth area and chin turn red and i wouldn't care 😭. he'd probably be a dick and rub himself all over me just to irritate my skin (i'm sensitive) then tease me ab it after.

let's face it, dude would look magnificent eating ice cream (or dripping with heat as he lifts his face from my -----) uhhh ok next

Exhibit C: Blue Jones

yeah, he looks like a slut. i mean the porn stache really just staples the word "pimp" onto his forehead. he's definitely more into himself than anyone else and he looks like a class A pervert, but i'd still hit it tho 💀

NEXT!

Exhibit D: Duke Leto and Jonathan Levy

i put them together bc of their full beards and hair. both give off 'have a family but still ready to fuck' vibes, but jonathan is softer and domestic 🥺

look at those beards and how well they frame his lips, it's like he's FORCING you to look 🫠 AND THE GREEYING HAIRRR EEEEE I NEED

LAST ONE -> EXHIBIT EEEEE: THE FUCKING BEARD HE HAD DURING THE TF PRESS TOUR

"this is powerful"

"clean shaven 5 days ago" -- ok but why would he say that??? does he wants me to collapse??? does he want to be bitten???

i genuinely lost track of the reasoning behind this ask (i'm sleep deprived and deliriously screaming ab this man) idk if i like facial hair or if it's just irresistible on him...either way i wanna feel it everywhere 😵‍💫

Omg em!! I absolutely adore beards especially Oscar’s!!! It’s the moustache only look that I’m always eek about and yet I still pine after Blue Jones 😂😳

I need to watch Inside Llewyn Davis still, I know I’ve got some catching up to do but his beard does look ridiculously well kept for a homeless guy you’re right.

Nathan Batsman’s beard is something I’m a very open whore about yes to the carpet burnnnnnnn

Jonathan levy is the perfect example of just like… ‘Messy academic hot man that I want to make even more of a mess of’. That’s a type, right? Adore. Esp the greys!!!! I love the fucking greys!!! Father of my children!!!

The god damn TF interviews ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

He said that because he wants you to know that he knows exactly what he says and does to us.

Yes to facial hair especially on Oscar. Just the stache on other men get the fuck away from me 😂