#narrator’s voice: she did in fact fucking cry

[starberry-cupcake]

We're back! again, if these silly recaps help lift your mood in any way, it makes me very happy ♥ I baked chocolate chip cookies for this so imagine I'm sharing them with you 🍪

previously, in harrowcita del 9:

this happened

also @unexpected-tigers linked me to an official house quiz and I did it so, if you want to know what I got and how I answered, I'll add it under "read more" after the recap

CHAPTER 44

listen, I need to start listing things I got right and things I got wrong but I forget at this point what I said

you're gonna have to remind me if I got something right and I didn't catch it because I remember what I got wrong more easily than what I got right

such is life

I'll do my best to try to tally but

I got wrong the narrator, I assumed that, because they were insulting harrow, it might be harrow too

but I forgot about gideon also being a pro at insulting harrow so, guess what?

IT WAS GIDEON

WELCOME BACK, BABE, WE MISSED YOU

CRYING TEARS OF JOY

of actual joy, not mercygirl-joy

to be fair, the narration was very different from gideon's perspective, to account for 1) the twist and 2) the fact that gideon's gideon-ness came out more and more as she got closer to the surface of perception in harrow's body

something she kind of explains later

but yeah, I got that wrong

however, I did get the purgatory situation of canaan house somewhat right and I forgot to mention it last time

ANYWAY, BACK TO GIDEON

CUE 'I AM THE BEST' BY 2NE1 IN THE BACKGROUND

someone stabbed harrow from the back, which is very shitty behavior from whoever it was

so gideon comes back into the real world with the immediate danger of her vessel, necromancer and partner in crime having been stabbed

and she was "left behind" because harrow is back in her canaan purgatory river bubble

with her ghostie ghoulie friends

gideon immediately finds out that harrow can't fight for shit

she's determined to kick the stabber's ass but it's gonna be hard when she's used to her massive guns and ninja warrior disposition and she's inside the body of a baby kitten

gideon's very eloquent commentary is "Fuck. Oh, shit. Oh, fucking hell. Help. Yuck. Aaaargh."

it's so nice to have her back :')

she's talking to harrow in the second person, as she's been doing all this time unbeknownst to those of us who didn't catch it

"which proves that you can put the swordfighter into the necromancer but you can't, wait, hang on"

god, I missed her

gideon is also coming to terms with the fact that harrowcita has regenerating abilities now

she is very angry at the awful state in which her two handed sword is

if you knew, gideon, about the relationship between harrow and your sword and how layered it was...

"Harrowhark, I gave you my whole life and you didn't even want it"

so gideon starts taking control of the situation because the beast is chasing them

absolutely no chill over here in the emperor's bolthole

and by "them" I mean gideon and harrow because idk where the everliving fuck everyone else is

I know the emperor is hiding in weenie hut jr but the rest are supposed to be fighting

except for whoever was going around stabbing people

and idk where not!dulcinea is at this point either

maybe someone's using her to stab harrow idk, I'll never stop blaming her for things, even indirectly

gideon is doing a great job with what she has available because she's "a good girl and you're an evil nun"

she's also still going on about harrow leaving her behind and saying "you never got rid of being so absolutely fucking goddamn sad"

chisus christ gideon, tell us how you really feel about her

gideon looks at herself in the mirror and sees harrow with her eyes and her expressions, which is very uncanny valley

"This was your shell, but it was all filled up with me. God, the double entendres were hard to resist"

yandere twin would appreciate that one, I think, maybe

gideon proceeds to taunt harrow to come back by using her voice to say things like "Oooooh, Palamedes. I am measurably less intelligent than you. Put your tongue in my mouth and I'll flop my tongue against it."

"Ohhhhhrr, Gideon. I was so dumb to think a tub of ancient freezer meat was my girlfriend. Please show me how to do a press-up. Also, I'm very obviously attracted to y—"

no no, by all means, go on

please, gideon, go on with that idea, let's see where it takes us

in other important but not as spicy events

gideon cuts the beast thing in two with her own sword

but now we've got the heralds to go through

"Don't worry, honey. I'll keep the home fires burning."

same energy as

CHAPTER 45

we're back in hotel california canaan house au river bubble

I'm sure that description makes it all super clear for anyone reading

abby and her hubby are taking harrowcita to the secret hideout of the lost boys aka the room behind the tapestry that is now untouched by the body horrors going on in this version of canaan house

and where all our ghostie ghoulie friends are hanging out

it was a person's room, says harrow, and I think we all know it was alleged gideon's aka ortus, but we'll get to that

I need to point out the fact that harrow says she always thought not!dulcinea showed signs of "suppurating ego" but that she could never convince gideon to "see past the appealing eyes and softly clinging dresses"

I KNOW, GIRL, IT DROVE ME FERAL TOO

apparently harrowcita's invite also got to the kids of the fourth but abby sent them back to the river with a kiss in the forehead and their lunch packed

because she had adopted them, as we all know

she said "if only Silas had asked me, what has happened to his soul worries me horribly"

of course I didn't remember that silas was mayonnaise uncle and had to do math for a while in my head

maybe he's out there looking for duracell bunny nephew's soul that is still travelling through the river

abby learned a way to send them back into the river but everyone present wants to help deal with this haunt situation harrow's got going on

honestly, props to martita for hanging around, judith is a lot less cooperative

abby also thinks there's something wrong with the river and that the emperor is unaware of it because he doesn't know about the river beyond

she has studied a lot about it

and that the fact that the "beyond the river" concept has been looked at with scorn by everyone for so long has made the potential studies of it stagnant

I love her a lot at this point

I mean, I'm still 100% a camilla girlie, I'm putting camilla's photo in one of those glittery clear files and covering it with heart stickers, don't get me wrong, but this woman is fierce af

abby, you know more than the emperor, you're more worthy than he is, please murder him

NOW IT'S TIME TO GET EMOTIONAL

GRAB YOUR TISSUES

IT'S ORTUS TIME

man, ortus won me with this chapter, he's great, let's keep him

let him be happy in the infinity of time with his fifth polycule

harrow tries to tell him that he doesn't have to apologize to her, that she owes him for crux murdering him and his mom

(interlude for "her unconscious gracelessness to Camilla Hect; a girl whom, in reality, she should have taken by the hands and thanked her profusely for every time she tried to save her cavalier")

(glad we're in agreement there)

they talk about how gideon died and ortus tells harrow that gideon never did anything without intent

"she had been outplayed by Palamedes Sextus, outgunned by Cytherea the First, undone by Gideon Nav"

damn, harrow

LISTEN TO THIS PART YOU FOLKS

"I should have offered help. I should have died for you. Gideon should still be alive. I was, and am, a grown man, and you both were neglected children."

ORTUS, MY MAN

THIS MADE ME SO EMOTIONAL

"she and Gideon had become women before their time, and watched each other's childhood crumble away like so much dust. But there was a part of her soul that wanted to hear it —wanted to hear it from Ortus's lips more, even than from the lips of God. He had been there. He had witnessed."

"I will hope better for heroism in my death"

ORTUS I'M HOLDING YOU TIGHT AND CARESSING THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD LIKE A PUPPY

harrow finds the "g&p" note

GUESS WHAT

GUESS WHO WAS RIGHT ABOUT THAT

ALLEGED GIDEON IS ACTUAL GIDEON THE FIRST

AND HARROW THINKS OUR GIDEON WAS NAMED AFTER HIM

I mean I had trust in my alleged gideon theory BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE I CALLED THE OTHER PART MAYBE TOO???

sixth house please accept me

she also finds another note, similar to the rant notes she had been finding, which reads: "the only thing our civilisation can ever learn from yours is that when our backs are to the wall and our towers are falling all around us and we are watching ourselves burn we rarely become heroes"

are the letters clues on the angry spirit that's haunting harrow?????

does it relate to gideon???

but when harrow is about to ask ortus about gideon ("less like tragedy and more like carelessness" 👀) abby interrupts

abby, interrupting me again when I'm getting to the good stuff

but I can't be angry at her because she says she'll exorcise the Sleeper

YOU GO ABBY, YOU LORRAINE WARREN THAT STUFF

And that's where we leave it for today!!! my willpower is strong and I know I can't make these too annoyingly long. Which is why, if you wanna know how I did with the House quiz, look after "read more". If not, see you for the next one!!! Super soon!!! Sending you all hugs in these difficult times ♥

So, this is the quiz that I did, the official author-made one.

I GOT *drumroll* A TIE BETWEEN THE SIXTH AND THE FOURTH

The author said that, in the event of a tie "Pick the House descriptor most like yourself, or most like the person you secretly wish you were, or with the colours you like best."

We all absolutely know where I'm going if I'm left to pick between those two.

To be totally transparent, I'm gonna show you my very messy notes, which I wasn't initially planning on showing, so I apologize for them not being neat and tidy. I added the skull I have in my desk as aesthetic compensation for the messy handwriting.

I picked 1st the pen and flimsy because, if I'm doomed and this is it for me, I want to go out writing. The bottle, because I considered a vessel for separating things or for keeping something in safely would be useful. The rapier, because I always take a swiss army knife in my purse with my keys and the rapier was the closest thing to that. The flare gun, because I might as well try to signal somehow, at least some of us could get saved. And the raft not to try to escape, like the answer said, but because if we're more than one person in the boat, having more space, even if somewhat leaky, could help out for different situations.

I did consider every potential option that could be turned into food but I'd rather die of something else than food poisoning of any kind.

I got the Fifth in second place, and I wouldn't have minded if I got the Fifth, honestly. In 3rd place I got Seventh and Eighth as a tie, I'm not gonna ask about that. The Second got fourth place, the Third got fifth and 0 points for the Ninth, I'm so sorry.

You should have seen my face when I saw a portrait of the Emperor was an option to take with you lmao

[yinyuedijun]

hiiiii i have not read or seen windbreaker my only interactions with it are bc some of my moots r into it now so ive read some fics and i saw tokyo vice on my dash and i was really pulled in by the summary so i read both parts and sincerity and the little prequel piece and oh my god it’s so good. i love the humor, the narrative voice is so witty. suo’s character is so intriguing bc as much as the reader loves and knows him there’s still so much going on that we can only guess at and i felt like that was communicated really well. i enjoyed the fact that sincerity and the prequel let us see their relationship at a different time and how we got to where they are in the present. im really interested in the reader and i felt like u did such a good job of weaving in the comedy to make some of her internal dialogue more lighthearted while still developing her emotional state really well. plus the smut was insane like 11/10 no notes. when the reader said she was excited for pussy inspections >>> like fuck yea me too!!! but anyways i loved the details we learn about her and how her fantasy is have really mundane romantic and vanilla sex. it really speaks to just how fucked up her life has been to the point where her biggest romantic dream is just to have regular sex with the man she loves. like ugh the angst interspersed with the comedy and smut was just chef's kiss. AND THAT ENDING??? WHEN HE THINKS SHE'S ASLEEP. like that did tug at my heartstrings especially when he talked about what their old friends think of him :(( and how if he was a better man he'd let her go. i read another organized crime x civilian fic for a different fandom a few years ago and it ended with the civilian person leaving his partner/his partner letting him go bc the deeper the partner he got into organized crime the more unhinged he became and how his mental state began affecting the civilian. thats a really condensed way of explaining but the events were crazy and it had me crying and screaming every chapter but that's something that ive never seen in other yakuza/gang/organized crime aus so i thought it was really cool to see how that is something that suo thinks about and has to come to terms with now that its been a few years and he can look back at his behavior.

but anyways i really really loved it and im gonna watch/read windbreaker as soon as i can now :)) so thank u for the wonderful fic 🙂‍↕️ and is tokyo vice over? i dont think i saw a completed tag on it on ur masterlist so i wanted to ask if u were leaving the world open

ANONNN I LOVE U SO MUCH TRULY THANK YOU!! 🥹 tokyo vice was an absurd self-indulgent project so I'm so very happy you gave it a shot despite not being into wbk!!! I must confess that it's wildly different from canon LOL but I do adore the canon series nevertheless, and I hope you enjoy it :-) (let us know if you do!!!)

I can't thank you enough for sending such juicy feedback abt tokyo vice, especially about the reader! I did find it somewhat stressful trying to balance the comedy of her narration with the horny and angsty and deranged events of the plot, so I'm glad that you liked that aspect of the fic !!! 🥹 and yeah despite all the comedy, she really is a traumatized meow meow. but it's okay, she can now have the normal sex of her dreams with the love of her life - as long as she can survive 4 months of orgasm denial before their wedding 😭

and LOL I love yandere charas with self-awareness so in general I love writing arcs where they love the reader enough to understand that they should let them go. the plot you're describing is sooooo up my alley and I think suo would absolutely have that thought process if the reader were even remotely mentally normal. unfortunately she is equally insane. I guess that is the tragedy of it for suo - he knows that he can never get better, and he also knows that as long as they are together, she can never get better either. fortunately for him, she could not care less ♥️

I do think tokyo vice is complete, but I do want to finish that sakura wip at some point and also write about suo and mc's sex life after they get together (which is very nasty premaritally and then really vanilla and emotional on their wedding night). I want to finish this kitsune suo pwp first though and finish my ffg commitments too 😭

anyway sorry for yapping so much HAHAH I'm just so happy that you commented on all these aspects of the fic!! thank you for reading and for sending such a wonderful ask 🥺💗

[needle-noggins]

just a little bit on Vol. 11 thoughts. Not too much because I feel like we're at the point where Nightow is just saying the quiet parts out loud, and there is a lot going on trying to wrap things together for the final battle and all its moving parts.

ok, i wanna talk about meryl. does anyone want to talk about meryl? let's talk about meryl!!!

Not only does she give him his gun back (via Marlon), but she also gets the coins. (as well as some personal trinkets!) Vash never explained to her what they mean or any of this, but she carries it anyway and brings it to him. He doesn't have to explain why these things are important, she just understands and she cares. And Vash getting the coins back is going to be so important in a bit (I'm eyeing nervously at Legato).

It just says so much about her character and her relationship to Vash. Sometimes I feel like I'm grasping at straws compared to all the Vash/Wolfwood out there but if I'm a weird stickler for canon and VM won't leave my brain, then it has to mean something, right?

I am not Immune to the "Character learns how to ask for help" trope, oh my god. It's about the fact that taking care of yourself is compassion, both for yourself, and, if you won't grant yourself that, for those who care about you. They want to help you and they don't want to see you suffer.

What's so interesting, and wonderful tbh, about getting Livio added to the narrative is that he's the tradeoff for what would otherwise have been Wolfwood. But, Livio is different. Livio is able to look at life with newfound purpose. Wolfwood saved him. Livio knows this and is turning around to pay it forward, again. And you know what? He's excited to do it. He's excited to break the cycle of violence to protect others.

I just, really, really love Livio. He's so wholesome and good.

A rare narrator voice moment immediately after! Vash immediately takes what Livio said and reflects on it. Their shared love for Wolfwood has brought them together and now they fight together to protect what they love - Wolfwood's memory. Wolfwood did not die in vain. I love how this is zoomed out, so to speak - yeah, there are some things more profound than Vash can say, but we get to hear it for once, I think because Vash isn't shying away from it.

M...Meryl............. Vamery.......... Vash is looking for reassurance in her. He trusts her so much. He's relying on her for support and she's so scared for him. It's not explicitly shown here but I think it's Meryl who pulls him in for the hug and initiates that contact, because previously when Meryl was crying in front of Vash, he realized it was his fault and held back. And then the fist bump kiss. Oooooohhh boy. It's so sweet. Vash initiates it as a tender act of reassurance. Of, "we're in this together" and dgkljhfgdg im going to lay down actually.

last bit - who the fuck is Jasmine???????????????

[judebilation]

none of my friends listen to me when i talk about malevolent, which is the true tragedy. anyways episode 31 was a thing that happened.

arthur why do you make noises when you wake up.

omg kellin throwback. why the FUCK IS HE HERE.

WHERE IS MY BOY

was the sister always called samantha

we love john in the background trying to wake arthur up

what did we expect from an episode called ‘the nightmare’

ooo are we going to see the butcher again ??? thatd be cool

arthur wdym did you kill your wife. do we get bella lore.

“i cant SEE anything”

oh dear. i could write a full essay on faroe and her role in the development of arthur’s character

graveyards are Not Fun when your wife, your best friend and your child are all dead and 2/3 you had a direct hand in.

mr scratch?? damn okay.

even in dreams, john disapproves of arthurs choices

are we going through all of the trauma this man has. if so, im surprised this episode isnt three times the length.

for antagonists this season we have the butcher, whatever the fuck marie has in her house, larson indirectly and now mr scratch. how fun

i know its still harlan, but harlan-as-john and harlan-as-kellin are so different

we love arthur and all of his self denying internal monologues

the entire episdoe is just arthur’s guilty conscience.

anna stanzyck again? ooooo

AHA FUCK. WE GET BELLA LORE BUT AT WHAT COST. shit. that makes faroes death even worse tbh.

will i relisten to this entire podcast to find more connections?? yes.

i fucking knew that baby would be important.

what do you mean you knew what he looked like. you are blind.

is this some weird form of catharsis?

fucking GOD. literally everyone in this guys life is dead. his parents?? fucking hell.

arthur lester do not make me cry on the 8:47 bus.

:((( dont make me feel sad about kellin again.

AHA ITS THE FUNKY MERCENARY GUY AND HIS LITTLE ACCENT

awwwh they care about each other <3333 they are friends!

if arthur and john get separated again i am going to riot.

there was a poll about this and why arthur and bella were married. ig this is canon

AHA. aromantic headcanon more confirmed by the day.

I CANR LIVE FOR SOMEONE ELSE BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW??? LIVING FOR JOHN???

do we actually know james or did i just forget him

so this is why he feels guilty over bella’s death.

shit shit shit shit shit

god FUCKING damnit harlan why must you hurt us so.

parallels between arthur not knowing about faroe at first when she was born, and then not knowing where she was when she died. i may make a post on this.

okay i want to see how scratch ties into marie.

i hate larsons srupid fucking accent

do i have to make fanart of arthur and faroe at the park now. it feels obligatory.

those were the happiest days of your life and then she died and it was your fault and after that you wanted to kill yourself and oh my god im sobbing

yeah fuck you, scratch.

its so disconcerting that scratch sounds like john

the eldritch figure will in fact, stab you.

i think jts funny that the voices in arthurs head always narrate when arthur gets stabbed. like. i think he may realise that he has been stabbed.

WAIT SHIT I SWEAR IF THIS RELATES TO THE GUY ARTHUR KILLED AND ATE IN THE PITS

aha this is Not Good. Not Good At All.

she is free?? who is she??? wha

OMG BOY!!! :DDD

AHA SHIT FUCK GODDAMN IT THIS CANNOT BE GOOD.

FUCKING HELL. WHAT THE FUCK.

shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit

FUCKING HELL

this is very very bad.

yeah well. mans can never get a break. ever. what did we expect.

is this the song kellin was singing. maybe.

[have-a-hiddles]

Within Your Heart, A Story To Be Told

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five

Pairing: Cardinal Copia/F!Reader

Words: 4.7K/16.4K

Warnings: Vague reference to suicide, but no such act occurs. Intense bullying both verbal and physical. Reader is a Sister of Sin and is written to be quite plump.

🔞 MDNI 🔞

A/N: I’m keeping Primo, Secondo, and Terzo alive. Because I fucking can. However, Sister Imperator is still the only one aware of Copia’s familial connection. Copia knows Imperator is his birth mother, but not that Nihil is his father.

Everything takes place circa 2018-2019 between Terzo getting dragged off-stage (30 September 2017) and Copia being anointed as Papa IV (March 2020).

You were curled up miserably on your bed, head throbbing and your eyes itchy. You’d been crying on and off ever since getting back; too scared to even leave your room. You didn’t make a habit of keeping much food in your room, but at least you did have water from your bathroom sink. Still bruised and now hungry, you knew you would be forced to leave soon. You just didn’t know if you could keep a neutral expression that long. You’d already had a few people knock at your door, wondering why you’d missed Mass. At some point, one of the higher-ups would notice and then you’d be in even more trouble.

A knocking sound reverberated through the room.

Speak of the Devil…

You didn’t have the energy to fake your way through an explanation for your absence or for the marks on your skin. You squeezed your eyes shut, praying that whoever it was would go away. Lucifer, please please please, make them leave.

Another knocking, this one louder.

Thanks for nothing…

“Sorella, it’s the Cardinal. Please let me in. I’ve been worried about you,” came Copia’s accented voice through the cheap plywood door.

That was enough to put the brakes on your imagined argument with Satan. You scrambled to your feet, tying your bathrobe around yourself more closely as you undid the simple chain lock and opened the door a crack.

“Cardinal?” you said, your voice creaky from doing nothing but crying for two whole days. “Y-y-y-you don’t need to be worried. I’m f-f-f-fine… really.”

She was not, in fact, fine at all… you could just about hear Morgan Freeman narrating in your head.

“Sorella, I do not believe that for a second. Let me in, per favore,” he said, his expression pleading with you.

Fuck, could he hear Morgan Freeman too?

You stood back and opened the door the rest of the way, gesturing for him to come inside. At least your small living space was neat and tidy; all of your wadded up tissues stuffed into the wastebasket.

“See? I’m fine. Just haven’t been… j-j-j-just been… a little under the… weather,” you lied weakly.

“I missed you this morning. You’ve never missed Mass before and I was worried,” said, his gaze fixed on you; on your red eyes and pale face. “You’ve been crying again, sorella.”

“It’s nothing,” you quickly ducked your head down so your hair would hide your face a bit. “I’m sorry I missed Mass. I won’t let it happen again, Your Eminence.”

“Fuck the Mass! It’s you I am concerned about!” he exclaimed with such fervor that you looked up at him in surprise. He caught himself and cleared his throat, muttering a quick prayer under his breath. “Sorella, please…” he whispered, taking one of your hands in his and gently pushing back the sleeve of your robe to reveal the dark bruises from where Cantata had kicked you.

You tried to pull your hand back, but he kept a firm grip on you. “Tell me what happened, tesora. Who hurt you?”

“I… I c-c-c-can’t,” you whimpered. “They said if I told anyone, they’d d-d-d-do worse. And I’ve learned from p-past experience that they do not make idle threats.”

“Do you really think that I would not find a way to protect you from them?” he asked, his pale eye seeming to glow.

“Even you cannot protect me twenty-four hours a day,” you swallowed hard.

“I am tempted to assign one of my ghouls as your bodyguard just to prove you wrong,” he said in a gentle voice, using his free hand to cup your cheek. “Get dressed, cara… I’ll wait for you in the hallway.”

“For what?” you asked, your heart going cold with worry.

“You are not in any trouble, cara… I promise. Just, please, do as I say, sì?” he offered you a ghost of a smile, trying to reassure you.

“Uh, OK...” you whimpered as he went out and closed the door behind him so you could get dressed with some privacy. You raked a brush through your hair and pinned it back as best you could. Splashing cold water on your face brought a tiny bit of color back to your cheeks. More importantly, it washed away the tear tracks on your skin. On went clean underwear, a clean habit and veil; skipping a bra because it would take too long to wrestle into one. You’d just slipped your feet into your soft flat shoes when Copia knocked gently on the door.

“Sorella, are you nearly ready?” he asked in a gentle voice.

You opened your door and slipped out into the hallway with him. “Ready as I’ll ever be,” you offered a wan smile.

“Eccellente, take my arm, cara,” he nodded at you, waiting for you to slip your hand through the crook of his arm. Once you had, he led you back through the hallways and up to his office. You’d never been on this floor of the Ministry, as it belonged entirely to the higher-ups. Generally, someone of your station would only be brought here if they were in deep shit; so, despite Copia’s promise that you weren’t in trouble, you began to tremble.

“Calmati, cara. Tutto bene,” he assured you, sensing your unease.

“I’m sorry. It’s just… usually when I get called into a meeting like this… i-i-it means that I’m-I’m-I’m about to get shuttled off to a new c-c-city,” you whispered in a shaky voice.

His eyes darted over to you, brow furrowed in concern. “No, cara, you’re not being turned out or moved. I merely want you to be p-p-present for something.”

It struck you that this was the first time you’d heard him stutter since he’d shown up at your door. That meant he was pretty confident in whatever was about to happen. Although that made it no less mysterious, you did relax slightly. Maybe he just wanted to talk to you about your initiation? But then, why couldn’t you have done that in your room? Why trek all the way up to his office?

He opened the door, ushering you in ahead of him.

You stopped dead in your tracks when you saw Kaser, Lynx, and Cantata all lounging in three chairs set up in front of Copia’s desk. The three of them looked from Copia to you in anger before they shifted their expressions to innocent surprise. Copia paid them no mind, steering you gently over to the sofa that sat in front of the floor to ceiling windows, perpendicular to his desk.

You tried to make yourself as small as possible, keeping your eyes fixed on your hands in your lap. Copia strode around his desk to sit down, his expression neutral and deceptively placid. He folded his gloved hands on his desk, looking at the Siblings before him.

“It has been brought to my attention that the three of you are not upholding the tenets of our faith,” he began. “As you know, the term “Sibling” is not just some cute little euphemism. You are meant to help one another. To care for each other. To protect one another. The last thing you should do is bully another Sibling. And three against one is exponentially worse.”

“Bully?” Lynx raised his eyebrows, his face the picture of innocence. “I’m not sure I understand, Your Eminence. What does that have to do with us?”

“Abbastanza. Don’t be coy. It does not suit you,” Copia replied, his voice carried a note of venom in it. “Are you truly going to deny your behavior towards Sorella (Y/N)?”

“Sister (Y/N)? We barely even know her! Why would we do anything to her?” Cantata whined, whipping up some excellent crocodile tears. “Please, Your Eminence! Whatever she told you, it’s a lie!”

Copia remained unimpressed. “Lower your voice, Sorella Cantata. There is no need to yell.”

“But she is lying!” Kaser finally spoke up, although he had chosen anger over surprise. “We’ve never touched her!”

“Mm-hm,” Copia murmured in a completely unconvinced tone. “Sorella (Y/N)? would you mind showing us your forearms, per favore?”

You swallowed hard and pulled the sleeves of your habit up, showing the dark bruises mottling them from elbows to wrists. You were visibly shaking, and you couldn’t lift your gaze from the carpeted floor to you right.

“We had nothing to do with that, Cardinal. If she says it was us, then she’s lying. Our word against hers. And there’s three of us,” Lynx said, his voice calm and completely reasonable.

“Oh, she’s told me nothing about who did that to her. In fact, she was quite adamant about not telling me,” Copia said, typing briefly on his laptop.

“Then, I… I don’t understand why we’re all here, You Eminence?” Lynx shook his head, making a subtle gesture for Cantata and Kaser to remain silent.

“I can only imagine that it must have escaped your notice that there are security cameras throughout the Ministry and its grounds,” Copia said before turning the laptop around, showing the footage of your beating.

All three of them paled significantly, jaws dropping open.

“A picture is worth a thousand words, no? I wonder how many a video is worth?” Copia finally allowed some of his fury to bleed into his voice. It made the hairs on the back or your neck stand up, so you could only guess what the other three were feeling.

“Your Eminence,” Lynx began in a small voice.

“Oh, do tell, Fratello. I would love to hear how you’re going to try and spin this in your favor.” Copia interrupted him, both eyes glowing dangerously as he looked up from the screen to them. “I don’t suppose you’re familiar with the phrase nessuna pietà?”

All three shook their heads timidly.

“It means ‘no mercy’. For our purposes, it means ‘zero tolerance’.” He stood from his desk, walking around behind their chairs to loom over their backs. “I want the three of you to go back to your rooms. Pack your things. And get out.”

Several things happened so fast that you weren’t even sure in what order they had happened in. Lynx stood up with an outraged shout, turning around as if he was going to sock the Cardinal in the jaw. You gave a yelp and stood up so fast that your veil fell back from your hair. Barely even moving, Copia caught Lynx’s fist in midair. He was shorter than Lynx by a few inches but was clearly much stronger. The doors slammed open, causing you to scream again, admitting Copia’s ghouls inside. They were unmasked and un-glamoured, something you’d never seen before. They were more terrifying than you had ever guessed; vicious fangs and claws, eyes gleaming like Copia’s, tails swishing like angry cats. The ones that had hair (or maybe fur?) across their shoulders and back had their hackles raised as they crept forward as a pack, keeping low and ready to strike.

The biggest of them separated from the rest to place himself between you and what was happening, clearly set to protect you if one of the former Siblings decided to make a lunge for you. This close, you could hear him snarling and growling in his chest, as well as clicking sub-sonically. He sounded like a very pissed off velociraptor and you were incredibly grateful that this horrifying sound was not directed at you.

“Care to re-think that move?” Copia asked in a chilling voice. “I suggest you get out of my office and out of my Ministry before I instruct my ghouls to remove you themselves. And they will not be overly particular about what order your body parts will leave in.”

The clicking amongst the ghouls intensified, as though they were excited by that prospect. Lynx had the good sense to quail as Cantata and Kaser carefully stood and headed for the doors, shying when the ghouls snapped or snarled at them. Only then did Copia release Lynx’s fist, shoving him back in the process. Lynx looked as though he might protest again now that he was free, but wisely thought better of it, skulking out after his friends. Only once he was out of sight, did you sink back down onto the couch.

“Follow them. Make certain they do as they’re told,” Copia said, his voice low. The ghouls chuffed their agreement with him, taking off in the trio’s wake. The big one near you stayed, although he climbed onto the sofa, past you, to perch on the back like an overgrown cat. You fought very hard not tremble but were not very successful.

When Copia turned back to you, all hint of anger gone, he looked from your face to his ghoul’s. “Mountain, you’re scaring her, caro,” he said in his once-more gentle voice.

You felt the ghoul slip his glamour back in place, allowing you to finally recognize him as the drummer from Ghost. “Sorry, jefe, I didn’t know she’d never seen a ghoul in true form. My apologies, Sister,” Mountain smiled as he hopped back down to the floor, turning to wink at you with a smile.

“It’s fine,” you spoke for the first time since entering Copia’s office, your voice a good deal higher than usual.

“Go join the others, Mountain. I will take care of our Sorellina,” Copia instructed, kneeling in front of you as the ghoul headed out after his packmates. One gloved hand rested on top of yours, the other stroking along your jawline to coax you into looking up from the carpet. “All well, cara?”

You nodded shakily and took a deep breath. “Yeah… yes. I think I’m okay. But…” your gaze wandered from his eyes to the door. “Was that not… maybe… a bit harsh? I mean… where will they go? I doubt they have places to return to.”

He smiled and shook his head at you fondly. “Are you seriously trying to speak on the behalf of people who beat the shit out of you?” He tilted your head until your foreheads met, hand sliding into your hair. “You are far too kind, amore. They are lucky I allow them to leave with their lives intact. I was very close to just letting my ghouls tear them to shreds. But I felt you would not want to witness such violence.”

“You would be correct, yeah,” you said, still shaking with residual adrenaline.

He tsked softly, sliding his arms around you and coaxing you to slide into him. “Vieni tra le mie braccia, amata.”

You surrendered to his warm embrace eagerly, letting him cradle you against his chest and murmur soft words in Italian to you, very few of which you understood. You didn’t have any more tears left inside of you, or you would have been weeping into his cassock. That did not stop you from clinging to him tightly, dry-sobbing against his heart.

“Shhh, amore. Ti ho preso. I’ve got you,” he crooned to you softly, cradling you against him with one arm and using his other hand to stroke your hair back gently. “I am so sorry that you went through that, amore mia. I should have considered bullying as a possibility as to why you were hiding the night I found you.”

“Not your fault!” you were quick to correct him, pulling back just enough to see his eyes. “It’s mine really. I’m a very… t-t-tempting target, so I’ve been told.”

“Normally, we encourage giving into temptation, but not if it hurts someone else,” he shook his head, brow furrowing. “Who told you such cazzate?”

“One of the priests at my school. When I was, like, eight years old or something,” you supplied with a sigh. “When someone who is a major authority figure in your life tells you shit like that… it sticks. And they’ve always just told me to suck it up my entire life.”

“Povera ragazza. I suppose that explains why you never told Sister Imperator about them. Or Papa Terzo. Or me,” he said in a gentle voice, tucking your head back under his chin.

“How did you find out anyway?” you asked curiously.

“After I didn’t see you at Mass, I got worried. I asked around and no one had seen you in days. Sodo, though… he mentioned that he’d seen you listening in on our rehearsals and that he thought he saw that someone had grabbed you from behind. He’d thought nothing of it at the time, but when he recognized you…” He sighed softly, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. “We went to security and had them bring up the feed and we… saw what happened…”

You swore softly, not liking that he had seen you at such a low point. Surely, he thought you were pathetic for not even trying to fight back. That you were a loser.

“You are… so strong, cara,” he whispered. “I was picked on from time to time in my younger days. But always just words. I cannot imagine how terrible it is to be physically bullied as you were. I do not think I would be able to stand it in silence, as you did. As you felt you had to.”

“I’m not strong. If I were, I would’ve tried to fight back,” you said softly, the fatigue of the adrenaline crash starting to set in.

“Three against one, cara? Even a seasoned fighter would struggle against those odds. You were wise not to fight back. They only would have hurt you more,” he said, shifting you more fully against him, feeling you start to go limp in his arms. “You must be exhausted, amore. Would you like me to take you back to your room?”

“Don’t want to be alone,” you murmured.

“I could… bring you back to my… to my r-r-room,” he suggested hesitantly. He didn’t want to press your boundaries after all you’d been through.

“OK,” was your sleepy reply as you made to sit up so you could walk to his quarters together, but he held you in place.

“Just hold on to me, cara,” he instructed, waiting until you did so before straightening and standing with you in his arms in a bridal carry.

The very unfamiliar sensation of being picked up chased away the weariness for a moment. “Cardinal! What are you doing? I’m too heavy! You’ll hurt yourself!” You weren’t sure how old he was, but he had to be in his late forties to early fifties. Prime period for back injuries, you were sure. And even if he were a strapping young man, you were no featherweight. Even Kaser had complained that you were heavy.

And yet Copia held you easily, without groaning or straining or anything you would have expected. You remembered then how he’d caught Lynx’s fist midair, barely even moving. “Woah, um… you’re… really strong, huh?”

Stellar conversationalist, as always.

“No great credit to m-m-me, I assure you,” he smiled, cheeks turning a bit pink, his stutter slowly creeping back in now that his anger was simmered down. “I’ve done nothing to cultivate it. It’s j-j-j-just a quirk of mine.”

You hmmed softly, not knowing what to say in response. You laid your head down on his shoulder, one arm remaining around the back of his neck and the other resting naturally over his heart. You could feel it beating hard but tried not to read anything into it. He’d just been spitting mad and nearly attacked, of course his heart rate was up. It couldn’t have anything to do with the fact that he was holding you so close. You were just glad that his quarters were at least on the same floor as his office. Making him carry you up or down stairs felt like that would be pushing it.

His flat was dark when he carried you inside, but he knew his way around perfectly. You panicked slightly when he bent to set you down, placing you on a very cushy and well-loved couch.

“Solo un momento, tesora,” he said, pausing to stroke your hair back.

The darkness quickly gave way to soothing, warm-toned lamplight courtesy of mounted fixtures meant to look like old gas lamps despite being electric. “There, cosi va meglio, sì?”

Being asked a question in Italian, a language you had almost zero experience with, filled you with a millisecond of panic. Still, you were able to parse out that he was asking you about the lighting. “Yes, it’s lovely. Thank you.”

“Prego, tesora.”

OK, prego you understood. It was you’re welcome. Like the mass-market pasta sauce. You must have answered his question, though, since he broached it no further. You also had the vague knowledge that he’d been calling you a variety of pet names; tesora, amore, cara, amata… Amore was love, that you knew. And cara, well based on The Addams Family, cara was something along the lines of dear. Tesora and amata were mysteries, though.

“I should look into learning Italian just so I can understand you,” you commented, offering a shy half smile. “Sometimes I have zero idea what you’re saying.”

“Oh! Did I-? Cazzo, I did, didn’t I? Lapsed into Italian, that is,” Copia breathed out a soft huff of frustration. “My apologies, Sorella. I sometimes revert back to Italian when I am nervous or upset.”

Not wanting him to feel awkward about it, you leaned on your usual coping mechanism of humor. “OK, now cazzo I do know! I don’t know what that says about me that I do know quite a few swear words in languages I do not otherwise know.”

He gave a short laugh, “Everyone learns curses first. I’m fairly c-c-certain that the first words I learned in English were also swears.”

With the light, you were able to look around. There’s was nothing super-fancy, like you might have expected. He had a wide range of video game systems and games, as well as a pretty in-depth movie collection. An adult-sized tricycle stood in one corner, making you start to smile. The Cardinal was clearly not a boring man behind his cassock and paint. You were tempted to ask if you could try the trike out, but you were so tired, you weren’t sure you could get off the couch.

A metal rattle and some excited squeaking drew your attention towards the windows where an enormous metal cage stood. Inside were felt hammocks and hidey-holes and tunnels. It looked like the Ferrari-level version of those hamster habitats you’d had as a child since you’d been denied a dog.

“Rigatoni, be patient. It’s Ravioli’s turn,” you hear the Cardinal murmur softly.

The lure of a cute animal gave you the strength to stand and walk the few feet over to the cage. inside, several pairs of beady eyes focused on you, whiskers twitching curiously. “Rats!” you gasped softly.

“They’re quite friendly, I p-p-p-promise!” the Cardinal hurried to assure you, mistaking your delight for revulsion. “And they are v-very c-c-c-clean little pets!”

“Oh, I know that!” you quickly assured him. “I love pet rats! I used to have hamsters as a kid. My mom wouldn’t let me get a rat because they grossed her out.”

Your admission seemed to shock him, his mouth hanging open slightly in surprise. “You-you like… rats?”

“Pet rats, yeah,” you clarified. “If a street rat ran past me, I’d probably shriek. But fancy rats are adorable! And so smart! What are their names?”

“This one is Ravioli,” he said, indicating the black and white one sitting in his hand and munching on an almond. “This little troublemaker is Rigatoni,” he pointed at the grey rat pacing impatiently just inside the cage door. “The black one is Tortellini. And the albino one is Penne.”

“So, pasta names. That’s so cute! Are they all girls?” you slowly reached in, offering Rigatoni your fingers to sniff at. She deemed you acceptable and hopped onto your hand.

“Sì. And all littermates. They have b-b-been together their whole lives. I find that sort of… s-s-sweet, I guess?” he nodded, handing you another almond to give to Rigatoni.

“It is sweet,” you smiled at him in delight after giving the little grey rat her snack. “Lucifer be praised, you are just too cute!” you cooed at her, stroking her tiny head with one finger.

If Copia hadn’t already been head over heels for you before, he definitely would have been after that display of affection for his beloved little pets. He put Ravioli back and fished Tortellini out of her cozy little hammock. More interested in snoozing than in snackies, Tortellini yawned widely and made grumbling squeaks. “Oh. Don’t complain, rattino. You love mandorle.”

You were still petting and fussing over Rigatoni, gently scratching her little ears as she munched on her snack. “Do you only like rats? Or do you like animals in general?” you asked, genuinely curious about Copia’s seemingly vast extremes. He’d been ready to kill the trio on your behalf; and now he was so gentle and sweet with his little pets, whispering to them softly in Italian.

“Oh, I like all animals to some d-d-d-degree. R-r-r-rodents just happen to be my favorite; most are so very small, but also fierce. I suppose I wanted t-t-to see the same in myself. I know most people see me as… odd, maybe even c-craven. I just have a v-very long fuse. Slow to anger, b-b-but as you saw, once my anger is roused, I can be rather ruthless.”

“I shall take care never to anger you then, Your Eminence,” you said softly, returning Rigatoni to her cage and her sisters.

He looked at you with gentle eyes, taking in the curl of your loosened hair and the faint blush on your pale cheek. “I could never be angry with you, tesora,” he whispered softly.

“You’ve called me that before. What does tesora mean?” you ask, finally catching one of his little pet names.

“Tesora? Literally, it means t-t-t-treasure. But we Italians tend to use it the s-same way you might use the word darling,” he said, looking away with his own cheeks going pink.

“You called me something else earlier… um… amata, I think? What does that one mean?” you asked, your heart tightening in your chest. These were words of affection, even of love. He’d called Mountain caro, but you’d never heard him call anyone else pet names from this buffet of Italian endearments.

He looked down, swallowing hard. “Beloved,” he finally said, his voice low in both volume and pitch, the single word making your heart drop to your stomach and then rocket up into your throat.

Beloved was… not a casual pet name, so far as you knew. It was something you called a spouse, a fiancée, or a lover. Not something you called a mere friend.

“Your Eminence-,“ you began.

“Copia,” he interrupted you softly.

“I’m sorry?” you blinked at him, not recognizing his name for a split second.

“Copia. Please call me Copia. When we’re in private,” he explained, finally looking up from his contemplation of the floor.

Something about being given permission to call him by his name pleased you even more than being called amata. “Copia,” you repeated, noting how he took a deep breath after hearing his name from your lips. “Is that t-true? Calling me… your beloved?”

You were standing to his right, and as such, could only really see his green eye, far more expressive than his diamond white eye. Trepidation, hope, desire, fear… “Sì, Sorella,” he finally said, looking down at his hands as if he felt he should be ashamed.

“Y/N,” you said softly, reaching over to claim one of his hands in yours. “If I’m to call you by your name; you should call me by mine as well, yeah?”

His gaze slid to your joined hands, then up to your face. “Y/N,” he whispered. You’d never heard anyone say your name so sweetly before, caressing the very sound of it. It made you gasp softly, your heart hammering so hard that you were sure he could hear it.

Your shallow breathing, shock, and the exhaustion of the last few days finally caught up with you, you went white and swayed on your feet. The last thing you felt as the world went black was thin, but strong arms surrounding you.

FOR THE LOVE OF (deity of your choice) PLEASE LIKE AND REBLOG! COMMENT! VISIT ON AO3 AND LEAVE KUDOS AND COMMENTS!

I NEED FEEDBACK!

[piracytheorist]

Okay thoughts about the musical! I will go into a bit of a detail so if you prefer being surprised by how things appear in the musical, then skip this post.

It's about 2 hours and 40 minutes long, not counting a 30-minute-long break in the middle and the last ten or so minutes of bows and the cast saying goodbye. It's a big thing, though it doesn't show anything that hasn't been shown in the anime already - although from what I noticed, the lyrics and dialogue are based on the manga dialogues. It even adapts scenes from "Fullmetal Lady", which was adapted by a manga chapter further down the line.

First thing you hear after the orchestra tunes up is sounds of guns firing and bombs falling. The music starts and it's soon joined by a young Twilight crying.

Yeah :)

It's framed as Twilight looking at his past. After this very intense and dark intro, it starts adapting from the very first page of the manga. Some stuff are shown as "action" on a projected screen. The Handler appears from the very beginning, acting like a sorta narrator and also the one who introduces Operation Strix to Twilight.

It skims through details, but main scenes are kept and half the time the dialogue is spoken, the other half sung. I did not particularly like that they took the manga dialogues as they were and simply turned them into lyrics, there are lots of instances where the rhythm and lack of rhyming sounded awkward, but it's not too distracting from the entertainment.

I'm not an expert in musicals, but it looked like a well-standing production. I can't lie that I did notice some weak spots in the main actors' singing, but I give a pass because it was a very long production and they might have been tired from constant rehearsals and performances. Around 2/3 of the first part Twilight's poor actor was sweating buckets and didn't even have the time to wipe it off. But he still acted, sang and danced without showing any signs of tiredness or stress. In fact he was pretty funny in his acting! Yor's actress did some cool moves, too, she looks so badass as the Thorn Princess. The Anya actress from the performance I watched was very good, especially for her age! Good singing and great "placement" on stage.

Franky was fun! He seemed to really enjoy it, or simply really really get into the role. The Handler had some awesome dance moves and a strong voice, they knew what they were doing with her actress - also she has a very swaggy song right after the break, that accompanies the "Fullmetal Lady" part. I hope they release the songs from official recording off live performances, cause some of them are pretty cool!

And I swear, Yuri is far from my favourite character in the show, but just like the English dub, in the musical he just serves. He's so fucking enjoyable, and looked super professional in his dance and sing combo - I might need to rewatch, but he might have been the best at singing and dancing at the same time from all the cast. Paired with his overdramatic acting he was so much fun to watch!

By the way, the choruses were damn near impeccable. While I noticed a few flats and weak high notes from the main cast, I don't think I noticed a single mistake from any of the chorus parts. I was even taken aback by one; when Anya has a flashback of the lab scientists, said scientists sing in a chorus about how she has to study and has no time to cry and play. And it's awesome! Though you also feel sad because halfway through it Anya (the character, not the actress) bursts into tears and you're just like :( stop hurting her :(

The design changes are cool and smooth. Some back dancers/singers help with the changes sometimes but they feel very part of the whole thing. It doesn't take you away from the action. Fight choreographies are pretty good, too. I mean, they are theatrical ones, it's obvious they're fake, but they're faked well and professionally. You don't expect cutting and montage on a theatrical performance, after all!

You might have noticed from the video I posted, but Henderson's actor did a good job being a meme playing.

In general the whole presentation has a feeling of... not taking itself very seriously. Like, they have an entire movement just for Bondman! It's still very professional but they also take it a little lighter - aside from scenes where gravity is needed, like when Anya or Twilight have their flashbacks, when Yor kills her target, when Yuri interrogates that guy they arrested, etc. I think there's a good balance overall.

After Yuri's visit ends, Twilight has his moment of thinking how he felt jealous of Yor and Yuri, and though the acting was a little subtle, I really liked it! I like it as a moment in general so I'm glad it was added there and done justice!

I'm not sure whether Fiona really had time to be a part of the musical. She only appears a little before the end, in an adaptation of the "Nightfall" episode/chapter, and though it's done well (and the singer has a great finish line) it feels a little shoehorned in, lol. She was still enjoyable and I understand why they added her, but still. She was fun to see her fangirl about Twilight and Twilight being none the wiser - I feel that was even more accentuated there since it was live action, lol.

Near the end is also the Loidman part, with a choreographed fight between Loid and Yor! I missed some action though because some cameraman decided to film Anya's reaction from up close instead. Cute, but not the center of attention, dude!

Anyway, it then ends with a bit of a "summary" of how Anya has to become an Imperial Scholar (we get to see her in her school uniform!), and a full-cast and chorus reprise of the beginning song, which is certainly not an earworm for me right now SUBETE WA YORI YOKI SEKAI NO TAME NI I mean what

Overall, it's quite entertaining, and I'm not a big fan of musicals myself! Again, it's a long watch, and you have to be mindful that you're watching a filmed theatrical performance, but I would recommend it for its humor.

[hypnolurker]

Nefarious Narration

Joan woke up with a dull headache. It was peculiar to her, she had not been out drinking last night. In fact she rarely did drink, she was a well respected lawyer and it would not do to be seen in public acting like a drunken idiot.

"Ugh, what's with this headache?" She asked herself as she dragged herself out of bed.

Joan glanced at her clock and saw that it was already 8:45 am. She was meant to arrive at the law firm by 9. With sudden urgency she began to rummage through her drawers for clothing. In the midst of pulling a pair of clean socks over her feet, she paused as a terrible realization struck her.

"What's that voice in my head?" She asked aloud.

It was no normal headache. Poor Joan had started hearing a voice in her head now. Was she going crazy? Or was something or someone behind it?

"I think I am going crazy!" She told herself, fear of being late to work supplanted by a new fear of her own insanity.

"Just stop talking already!" She shouted frantically, covering her ears. Yet it did nothing to stop the voice.

"Get out of my head! Get out of my head!" She chanted. But the voice was not just in her head. The voice was everywhere all at once. Its words swirled in the air around her and vibrated upon her skin until she shivered.

"What the hell are you?" She asked, shaking.

The voice did not answer, it simply continued speaking as it had done.

"The voice should stop speaking then." Joan ordered defiantly.

Silly Joan. She has no power. Joan's eyes widened and her jaw hung open as the voice dismissed her so simply.

"Don't call me silly you patronizing fuck! I have a law degree, you're just some...some creepy voice that sneaks into women's rooms when they're getting dressed!" She snapped back viciously.

It may seem below the voice to respond to such taunts...but then again Joan's prideful tone was somewhat irritating. She did not even begin to understand her place. Nor the voice's power. But she will.

Joan opened her mouth to speak, but the words died in her throat. The voice was still speaking. Joan felt her headache worsen, then it began to feel strange. The full ache shifted to an odd pleasure as she felt dizzy and hazy as if in a dream. Slowly, her knowledge of law began to drain out of her head. One by one, facts and cases and memories of trials slipped from her head. Yet, it wasn't painful like something being removed, it was actually incredibly enjoyable. Every thought that floated out of her head was an orgasm, a mind altering orgasm that trumped any physical pleasure she had felt previously. Joan began rubbing her little pussy and humping mindlessly as her sloppy mess of a brain blew its load and ejaculated all of her years of expertise away into the ether. She didn't scream or cry or beg for it to stop, no...it happened with her fingers in her cunt and a wide, dopey grin plastered across her face.

When it was finally over, Joan felt lightheaded and still undeniably aroused as she regained some control of herself and began to comprehend what had just happened.

"What the fuck!? What was that? Its a joke right? I...I...don't remember...I don't remember anything! I'm a lawyer but...when I try to remember it's just...blank. It's really gone! How can you do this to me! Give it back! Undo it!" Joan pleaded grumpily.

It seemed that despite losing any competency in her profession and witnessing the power the voice held, Joan still had not learnt her lesson.

"Wait what are you gonna-" Joan began but her own voice was suddenly silenced as the great and booming voice took over yet again.

Having lost her legal knowledge, Joan still felt that she could gain it back. If not by undoing whatever mean spell had been cast on her then she would simply have to relearn it. But poor Joan would not be so lucky. No, Joan would be much too stupid to learn anything when the voice was done with her. The voice could make her rub her thoughts away like before, but it had another idea.

"I can speak again. What the hell?" As the words left her lips, Joan felt a surge of bliss in her brain as the familiar sensation of knowledge departing hit her.

"Why did that just-" just as the previous sensation had finished and she began speaking, another bolt of delicious stupidity struck her brain.

"Like, what's going on?" Another surge of brain melting pleasure washed through her as more brain cells ceased functioning.

Joan was already quite dimwitted. Perhaps she would never realise that each time she spoke, her IQ would lower a little more.

"OMG! You're making me get dumber when I say things!" She blurted out, surprised when her mind shuddered again as her intellect dropped further.

At this point Joan would probably just keep talking her brain into mush as she was already so dumb that she would forget the game being played with her after a few moments. Like a confused goldfish. The voice had enough fun for now, so it let her speak freely again.

"You mean it? I can say stuff and not go, like, super dizzy and weird?" Joan asked hopefully.

The voice was now confident that Joan had been taken down a peg. Surely she would show some respect now.

"Nuh-uh! I don't like you! You're mean! You made me feel all dumb and weak and...uh... dumb! I'm s'posta be like, a law-ya or whatever. I wear suits and...do law stuff!" The ditz Joan complained.

Stupid, pathetic, worthless Joan. It seems that no matter what the voice does, she will always cling to her old life. There was only one way to teach this naughty cunt any manners. The voice would have to start over. Joan looked confused as she struggled to understand what the voice meant, but soon Joan would be totally changed.

Joan woke up with a strange headache. Actually, it wasn't exactly strange for Joan to have a headache. She was a well known party girl and often came home drunk, sometimes to a stranger's house. Honestly, the fact that she awoke in her own bed was probably the strangest part. Joan was a well known prostitute, though she tended to fuck men for free quite often. Mostly she just loved cocks. Feeling them stroke the back of her throat, feeling them pulsate inside her sloppy pussy, feeling them stretch her tight asshole...that was her favorite thing.

As Joan lazily crawled out of bed, somewhat surprised (and a bit saddened) to see her underwear weren't stained with some man's cum. Finally, the still sleepy Joan noticed the voice which had been talking inside her head.

"Like, there's a voice in my head! And it can read my mind!" She gasped in surprise. "Actually, it's kind of sexy. I like it when guys whisper in my ear and this voice is making me feel all dreamy."

Finally Joan was behaving like a good girl and respecting the voice. Her strange headache faded away as she accepted the voice in her mind. She would listen to the voice. It would tell her what to do. She didn't need to think for herself anymore now that she had the voice.

Joan's story was just beginning.

[livvyofthelake]

books i read in 2023 ranked: (bolding the ones that aren’t rereads)

shadow and bone by leigh bardugo. i don’t CARE if you think this book is bad. it has my friend ALINA in it. so what if it was bad who even cares. alina was in it.

the hound of the baskervilles by arthur conan doyle. not to be an annoying person but what do you want from me i got to get into sherlock holmes this year it was great fun and this book was awesome ok. the whole thing was just our boy john wandering around the moors almost thinking there was a haunted dog in the woods. ok, it was more involved than that but i loved reading about him wandering the moors <3

six of crows by leigh bardugo. utterly devoured this one it was a slay. i love a heist i love a crazyinsane romance i love multiple povs… she had it all

the bronze key by holly black and cassandra clare. can’t even get into it. crazy book to read at 15 and then reread at 22

prince caspian by c s lewis. didn't even plan to read this it just struck me one day this fall that i had to hang out with caspian or i'd die and then that was that it happens idk

a study in scarlet by arthur conan doyle. make no mistake this was a slay and a half. however... not to give away the plot if you were concerned with spoilers for a book published in 1887. but um. the way that halfway through it just cuts to mormons is kinda wild. not bad really, it was a cool backstory and i maintain the crime was justified. but it was weird man...

chain of thorns by cassandra clare. i would put this cunt lower but i can't deny the facts which are that grace blackthorn made me cry so much this year. i loved her i loved reading about her...

the copper gauntlet by holly black and cassandra clare. slayed. served even. idk you guys were there you saw the Posting

the iron trial by holly black and cassandra clare. again you saw the posting... i love call....

the great gatsby by f scott fitzgerald. nick carroway truly one of the best literary freaks of all time i think

the silver mask by holly black and cassandra clare. i don't want to be a hater but. it's just not the best now is it?

the field guide by holly black and tony diterlizzi. you can argue that i cheated by reading this short ass children's book today to meet my reading goal but i stricly followed the letter of the law ok. check and mate. anyway i love the spiderwick chronicles but wow i forgot that nothing happens in book 1. i had already planned to reread the whole series soon anyway so. i'll be doing that over the next few weeks <3

the sign of the four by arthur conan doyle. not his best. was kind of giving side eye for a lot of it, both at artie himself for writing it and at my boy john watson for some of his actions. i know mary was 27 but i still think she was too young to be marrying that washed up army doctor... sorry john we're pals and all it's just. well you kind of are a washed up army doctor. can't say much about the plot as the plot was lame as hell. oh btw this one is where the "i knew he was an alchoholic because his watch has scratches around the key to wind it" comes from. famous origin for bbc sherlock phone charger alchoholic plotline we all as tumblr users have heard so much about. also i did not like the audiobook narrator but whatever. i alternated between audiobook and reading it on my phone so i didn't listen to the whole thing but. i just didn't like his voice very much i'll be honest. maybe i'm english accent phobic idk. maybe he was just specifically annoying because his Woman Voice he used for mary was so fucking bad. anyway.

the golden tower by holly black and cassandra clare. i can't get into it much. i’ll say that this is the only book i read this year that i actually threw across the room because it made me so mad. it happens

into the wild by john krakauer. i'm not one for non fiction apparently. sorry to the non fiction heads out there

[captainsspnanon]

C2E70 - Causatum - rewatch

Well, nothing like being unable to get onto tumblr after a CR episode because my ACCOUNT RANDOMLY GETS FUCKING TERMINATED. Here’s hoping that it comes back soon, I will not be pleased if I lose my 2014 account. (it’s back!)

In the meantime, LET’S HAVE YASHA DRAMA.

Oh no, Liam’s remote! OH NO I RECOGNIZE THE PROPS FOR THE SAM AD BIT

OH GOD Sam starting off with the bit, then immediately interrupting himself to say ‘you know what, I didn’t even look at what they sent me to read’

…*looks up causatum* oh hey that’s an actual word! It basically means ‘an effect’. That’s cool! It’s not a word I knew, and until now, I just never considered that it actually meant something versus some fantasy word.

Nope, I had no focus. So now I’m back again, day two of having no tumblr. I wouldn’t say I’m going through withdrawals, but I am NOT happy. Some quick googling it seems like tumblr support is a monday through friday thing, so the fact that I got termed early Saturday morning? *sigh* I am impatient. (shockingly, am back! Which you know. Because you are reading this)

I don’t even know how to verbalize my Fjord thoughts here. There’s a strong reluctance to tell the Bright Queen of their failure, at least with any sort of speed. From Talks, I know that he’s afraid they’d be thrown in jail, but there’s something tickling the back of my brain about not wanting to disappoint authority, not wanting to be seen as a failure even if nothing came of it, Vandran, insecurity, deception. I really wish I had the ability to take these jumbled thoughts and make coherent sense of it, because whether or not it’s accurate, it’s an interesting take.

For all the laughter at Caduceus apologizing for raising his voice, he actually was. He wasn’t shouting or anything, but he did raise his voice and was speaking with more firmness and passion than he typically does. It is also a great moment of him asking if anyone had the experience of NOT automatically assuming that they’re the bad guys, if anyone had the experience of being trusted, and the answer was essentially a resounding ‘no’. That, so much, is the core of the Mighty Nein, and it’s the reason that Caduceus ended up being such a wonderful fit.

(Something I thought of yesterday when of course I couldn’t post it, but another heavy theme of the M9 campaign ended up being cults. Caleb was in a cult, Jester was in/formed a cult, Fjord was tiptoeing around the Uk’otoa cult, Yasha was/is in a cult. Hell, you could make [barely] an argument that Beau was kinda in a cult because she was forced to join the cobalt soul against her will, even though it’s not a cult. [also I accidentally typed fjorced, what the hell me] Perhaps the same thin argument could be made for Nott being forced [I did fjorced again wtf] to join the goblin tribe for the period of time that she did.)

Ugh, Jester crying hits me so much harder than any other of Laura’s PCs, I think because she’s the most outwardly bubbly and high spirits. I also forgot that she had doubts about Yasha! I know for a fact that this is gonna be momentary but I think it’s very powerful that it’s there at all. Especially for those who are reacting more negatively (Fjord and Beau) it adds a level of validity to their feelings. If EVEN Jester thinks this!

Caduceus has been the best rock that this scene needed. Fjord never really goes head to head with Caduceus, but I think this is the most oppositional that he’ll be all campaign, and it is a fantastic interplay. Caduceus with his faith in Yasha versus Fjord with his history of betrayal from Sabien.

I really appreciate that when Matt narrates that the soldiers have been alerted by the Bright Queen to expect something, not just leaving them in the dark as Fjord feared, no one gives Fjord shit over it. There’s no ‘I told you so’s, there’s no ‘see?’, there’s not even subtle nudging. Everyone recognizes that it was a fully valid suspicion, and that there was no shame or harm in having it. PLUS they still work to subtly give more information via the whisper campaign, again validating Fjord (and Beau – just focusing on Fjord because he was more vocal about it).

Huh, it’s weird to hear Baphomet. Well, I guess it’s not a specific dnd thing, but I’d still expected something of an Exandrian equivalent. Then again, the gods and such do still occasionally get referred to by the 5e names in this campaign, so it’s not fully distancing themselves yet. (I’m sorry, Fey Realm may match with TLoVM, but I still replace it in my head with Feywild. Same with Shadow Realm and Shadowfell.)

I LOVE Matt’s “really” when Jester rolls a 21 for deception for Nancy McFancyPants. THAT is the agony of the DM right there, and it is GLORIOUS. Yes Matt, they do believe her. They believe her so well.

Is this the first mention of Eiselcross????? The ballista provide their own ammunition!!! THE FORESHADOWING!!! Ah, not the first mention, the first was a book from the Happy Fun Ball. But it didn’t have the foreshadowing!!

It always is interesting to see Caduceus have his small moments of pure intimidation. Someone comes up to the room when he’s casting Legend Lore? Even though the guy is already apologetic and ready to leave, he gives himself black eyes for a scary appearance, and then magically closes the door. On the one hand, it feels very out of character for Caduceus. On the other hand, I wonder if this is tricks that he would use with his siblings when he was feeling irritated or trying to prank them. In that mindset, the few times he uses these tricks makes a lot more sense, especially as they’re never actually harmful. I admit that I’ve struggled with Caduceus’s relationship with his siblings, specifically the trickster part of him, as we rarely get to see it in campaign. I feel like we only really saw it when he used the bone flute on his sister? But Taliesin has clearly kept it in his mind, as he mentions it a number of times on Talks. Though I suppose I’ll be discussing this more in an episode or two, judging by the episode titles.

Wonderful conversations between Jester and Beau, and then Beau and Caleb. Not much to say, aside from just well done for all, ouch for Liam with the lag, and very good character beats all around. Dives much more into Jester and Beau, very much appreciated, and lovely to see.

“Were you there in the cave?” “I’m never far” HITS SO MUCH DIFFERENT when you know that Sprinkle is the Traveler’s vessel at times. AAAA

I think Matt wanted this to be in a volcano even more than Jester, considering she made an offhand comment and he pushed it further. I wonder how much of Rumblecusp he had fleshed out at this point. Likely the forgetfulness and Vilya already, but was the volcano already there? Or did it get added because of this conversation? If he added it after, maybe that’s where he came up with the idea for what’shisface. Vokodo.

Caleb is 100% the reason why I love wizards as a class. The teleportation circle! Caleb checking the supplies! The beautiful description from Matt! Love it so much!

And I’m very pleased they acknowledge the moorbounders being left where they were. Goodbye kitties, I will love you forever.

Again, something I continuously wonder is how much of an NPC Matt has determined based off of player conversation. My thought process here is that the PCs are very thoroughly discussing how the Laughing Hand situation went, arguing for how they were responsible and how they were not. A lot of good points were brought up on either side, and it was not anything touched on lightly. With Matt listening to all of this, did he have a thought process of how the Bright Queen may think of it, and upon hearing the conversation, add that to how he thought she may react? With the discussions of how they couldn’t actually have been responsible, did that influence how Matt had her behave so supportively? Or did he always know that the Bright Queen would not see it as their fault, as long as they didn’t eff up presenting it to her. After all, he didn’t ask for persuasion when Caduceus was explaining what happened, only when he asked for permissions after. I know why we didn’t get Matt as frequently on Talks (or 4sd for c3), but this is why I itch for it. I’ve LOVE to get inside his brain for these things.

(I also love that the cast clearly forgot that they warned the BQ about Empire shenanigans, as I’d also forgotten it given how long it’s taken me to watch this, so the reminder here was appreciated)

Aaagh, the scene with the prisoner has an added level of tension to it because of the delay and difficulty caused by virtually streaming in. Liam doesn’t have good visual to see when someone is about to speak, and with the lag there’s overlapping talk which may have been a non-issue had he been present (not hearing Caduceus offering to assist, talking over Matt trying to speak at the Scourger). We still get a very powerful scene, but sadly I feel like a little bit of Caleb’s capacity for intimidation gets a little clipped with the disconnect. Too bad we never really get to find out why this woman had knowledge of Bren, as well as why she had the forearm scars but not the maze-like tattoos. Earlier in her training? Perhaps, but to have enough knowledge of Bren? I don’t think we ever find out what Trent may have communicated with his trainees about him, whether he maintained the ruse of being fully in control, or allowed them to know that Bren had escaped but could be lured back in?

I know Taliesin gets credit for being amazing with one-liners, but honestly – they all are. “Enjoy your mouthful of lies when the choke it out of you.” *chefs kiss*

Nott and Yeza’s relationship has just an interesting dynamic. I haven’t read her comic, so I don’t know how it’s portrayed there, but in campaign, Nott describes herself has having been bullied even as a halfling, and so gave a reasonable interpretation that she may have been more meek, with her life since getting killed and transformed causing her to become more outspoken. In her earlier interactions with Yeza, there was a meekness present – but honesty more of just a fear of being rejected. She spoke for him at times, but it was reasonable enough with him being fairly traumatized. However, we come to now. They’ve made the decision to send Yeza to Nicodranas, and Nott firmly and repeatedly shuts down any suggestion of him learning to swim, getting close to a boat, and repeatedly makes decisions on his behalf. Yeza doesn’t bristle at this and instead takes it fully in stride, as if this is the relationship dynamic that he’s already used to. Of course, much of this is the meta sense that Sam needs to make a lot of the decisions with Matt ‘yes and’ing, rather than Matt making any of the large decisions. Yeza is very much an NPC that is also a character prop. Anything Matt does with Yeza is going to be for having Sam make decisions with Nott, and Matt really isn’t going to do things with Yeza that are counter intuitive to the main storyline, or something that would attempt to pull agency away from Sam. I’m trying to remember, but I think all player created NPCs have that level of ‘character prop’, versus the DM created NPCs who can act in ways to spin the story. For this campaign, Marion is very supportive of anything Jester does and displays clear love and affection for her, Beau’s father is cool and distant, her mother is caring but weak, Caduceus’s family are all exactly as he describes, and the same for C1 and C3. Now, the player created NPCs aren’t all good and loving (see Beau’s family and Zeenoth, the twins’ father, Tary’s family, etc) but I don’t recall Matt pulling any big twists with any of them. If the player wrote in the backstory that the person was X, then Matt plays them as X. ….I’ve twisted myself in a circle here XD Going back to my original thought, I do adore the Nott and Yeza relationship as well as fully understand and appreciate criticism it has of being not entirely healthy. There is a strong passivity to Yeza that wouldn’t work for PC to PC relationship, but makes sense for a PC to player-created NPC relationship. The same is not true for a PC to DM-created NPC relationship such as Caleb/Essek, or Vax/Gilmore. Because those NPCs are more established and can grow as characters, whereas the player-created NPCs tend to be more set in their original description.

*reads that entire mess of a paragraph* …… I’m just going to not even touch that or try to make more sense of it, moving on. *reminds myself that this rewatch write up is to improve my writing abilities and improve my sense of critical analysis rather than just passively watching something I enjoy. I’m not trying to convince anyone of anything, just make sense of my own thoughts, and maybe find some other words than ‘interesting’ and ‘fascinating’.*

Wait what? Caleb intimated his past to Essek, who I thought KNEW from the first meeting with handing over the beacon, but didn’t? And then Essek asks if Caleb was a Scourger and Caleb says no but Essek clearly doesn’t believe him. I am genuinely surprised by this, because I had remembered it as Essek having known as of day one! I mean, I guess all the parallels and conversation in 97 on do still make sense if Essek only realized now, but it changes my perception of it a bit.

On the other hand, Caleb very clearly throws up some masks (that squinting smile!) while talking with Essek, while at the same time being very truthful about his feelings and request.

(I really do adore the moments where Liam has Caleb speak to himself, when it’s done quickly and effectively. Here is fantastic, back on the boat where he calls himself an asshole and starts copying spells, the bit in the tower where he goes to the memory room alone after showing everything else off. I think the only time that I wasn’t a huge fan of it was early on when Yasha, Jester, and Fjord get kidnapped, because I felt like the scene ran a bit too long. But I think every other instance worked well.)

Oh hey! We get the lore for Caduceus’s backstory! And I know from a highlight reel on youtube that this is the first aspect of Travis just completely missing the ‘Stone’ tie in XD My only singular problem with this lore is that Dust doesn’t feel like a last name. Clay? Yes. Stone? Yes. Dust??? ...don’t feel like it. Looking at a surname website (just a random one, I’m not spending time actually researching this), Dust as a last name in the US – just over 1,300. Clay? Almost 62,000. Stone – just over 203,000. So….that explains it, at least. ….*looks up my own last name* HA it doesn’t even show up, just offers variations.

Jester and Nott panic is the most common, but Jester and Beau panic is the most entertaining. Though I will make my minor Taliesin complaint here, Laura and Marisha specified that they were going up separately AND they were talking in whispers, and then Caduceus was just there for the conversation. Here, it’s played very humorously and works well. But Taliesin does this repeatedly (and I’m pretty sure unintentionally), I remember getting VERY pissed off at one point in C1 where Percy is interrupting a conversation between Vex and Vax when they’re on a completely different floor of a house. Each player has their own little things I nitpick, and unfortunately this is one of Taliesin’s that I’m not particularly fond of.

LOL Caleb/Liam trying to have a little scene with The Boys and everyone giving him shit. XDDD

DAIRON!!!! Cannot wait for 71! Though by the name I thought that was when they went to ……. OH I’m thinking of Family Shatters. That’s not until 96!!! Okay that makes way more sense.

Also, is this the episode where Travis dips his hand into his drink cup instead of his snack cup by mistake? I didn’t see him do it, but I also wasn’t checking heavily. *looks at youtube comments* Yes, it is! *watches it like three times in a row* odd, I remembered Matt seeing it, but it looks like he’s laughing at bottom table, not top table.

[lhrry]

“i see how hard you’ve worked to be yourself”

[stunnedkae]

i finished nona last night (and sobbed) so here is my spoiler free review!!!!!

ok so first of all. i am so incredibly grateful that i got the honor of reading this as an arc, and while its absolute AGONY to not be able to talk about its contents i wouldnt trade it for the world. thank you tor publishing ily🫶🫶🫶

now! the review. oh my god. this fucking book. tamsyn has absolutely done it again and she ripped my heart out in the process and then continued to kick my feet out from under me. going into nona i was worried that it wouldnt feel like its own book because of the fact that it stemmed from act 1 of alecto, but holy shit it is absolutely its own book. first of all, the worldbuilding?1!2?2! AMAZING. the way that tamsyn has used the level of worldbuilding in the past 3 novels as a way to characterize the narrator is incredibly unique. nona is so curious about the world around her, so naturally it comes through in her narration. and nonas voice and descriptions throughout the book were SO amazing and effortlessly endearing— she is so sweet. i love her.

the book was also SO funny. i dont think i caught the two (2) singular memes there apparently are but i am in fact just a little guy and probably didnt understand them. but the jokes were SO good. like amazing. like i was genuinely losing my shit. now on the flip side, i did in fact cry. i cried very hard. i know nobodies reading the locked tomb to be happy because these books will Ruin you. rest assured, nona does a great job at making you happy and giving you a false sense of security only to slap you in the face!!!

now let me tell you how beautifully confused i was throughout the book right up to the very last page. these books are definitely not for people who like to understand every plot point and every twist and turn— if gideon was a 300 piece jigsaw puzzle, and harrow was an 1000 piece, id place nona at somewhere around the 700 range. every single time i thought id had a solid theory, it was literally ripped out from underneath my feet and then when i fell backwards i fell into the deep end of a community pool. and let me tell you it was perfect every time. tamsyn knows her audience and knows we like to be confused and she did not dissapoint. i read these books to be able to reread and analyze them, and my god am i going to have fun doing that with nona. you guys will fucking love this just as much as nona loves you🫶🫶

no context spoiler phrases for you: cows watch sunsets, fairy lights but theyre little skulls, sexting, and a handkerchief

[queenshelby]

Roommates – Part Four

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Words: 2,385

Warning: Smut

Note: This plays in 2020. Please interact. Your interactions and comments mean a lot to me.

Just as you were in the middle of your morning routine following a night filled with erotic dreams about your roommate, you heard a loud knock on the door.

You quickly turned off your vibrator and chucked it into your bedside draw before pulling up your panties and singlet and walking into the hallway.

When you opened the door, you were surprised to see James. His face was flushed and he looked like he had been crying.

‘You don’t fucking answer my messages and calls anymore’ he said and it quickly became clear to you that he must have been drinking all night when you smelled his breath from the distance.

‘You shouldn’t be here James, please leave’ you said firmly, knowing that his visit wasn’t permitted under the current lockdown restrictions.

‘Just hear me out Y/N, please’ he begged once again after he had been trying to get back together with you for the past four months and, whilst you initially maintained contact with him, you no longer responded to his messages and ignored his calls for the past two weeks.

‘There is nothing more to discuss James. I am through with you’ you said before you tried to shut the door on him but, just as you did, his foot caught in the doorway and he pushed his way into the hallway.

‘James, honestly, get the fuck out. You cheated, more than once, and I am done with you’ you huffed out and thought that, clearly, he would have received the 2,000 Euro engagement ring he had bought you in the mail by now.

‘You can’t just throw away what we had Y/N’ he went on to say and, just as he did, Cillian returned from his morning run.

‘Get out of my house James or I will call the Gardaí’ Cillian said calmly as he noticed that you were distressed.

‘Alright Murphy, go ahead, call the fucking cops’ James huffed out angrily and, before you knew it, James pushed you with your back against the wall in frustration.

‘Y/N, please fucking listen to me. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen’ he pleaded again with a whiny voice but his grip on you was becoming rather aggressive.

‘James, stop, you are hurting me’ you shouted out and, just as you tried to push him off, Cillian grabbed James by the back of his t-shirt and pulled him out of the house.

‘That’s enough James, fuck off and leave her alone’ Cillian said harshly and, when these words left his lips, James turned around suddenly and hit Cillian across the face with his right fist.

‘Jesus James’ you panicked as you quickly walked over towards Cillian and him but, when James realised what he did, he was quick to run off.

‘Fuck, Cilly, are you alright?’ you asked as you watched him hold on to his face.

‘I am fine’ Cillian chuckled before acknowledging that his face would likely be swollen before Lindsay would arrive in the evening.

‘I am sure she won’t mind Cilly’ you said before giving him a hug and thanking him for defending you and making James leave.

‘Y/N, I stink, you probably shouldn’t…’ Cillian said but you didn’t care and hugged him anyway, pressing your half naked body against his.

Ironically and almost surprisingly, you actually didn’t mind the scent of his sweat covered body. You could still smell the deodorant and aftershave on his skin and the hint of mint from the toothpaste he used that morning on his lips.

‘Let’s get some ice on this, hmm’ you then said before forcing him to sit down at the kitchen table while you prepared an ice pack for him.

After you wrapped the sachet of ice into a thin cloth, you gently pressed it against Cillian’s cheek which, already, had turned red.

The skin on his face felt soft and slightly moist and his deep blue eyes gazed into yours for a brief moment while his lips smiled at you.

His smile was warm and beautiful and you couldn’t help but pay attention to the large freckle on his upper lip.

‘So, uhm, I…uhm…I think I might go and get dressed’ you eventually huffed out after you had gotten lost in his eyes for a short moment.

Cillian nodded in response and, just as you walked away from him, an unfamiliar feeling washed over his body.

It was a feeling he couldn’t explain and it was almost unique in a way. In addition to his arousal which, by this point, had also formed in between his legs again, he felt shivers run over his spine and down into his stomach. These shivers felt almost like flutters and made him feel uncomfortably warm.

***

It was 5 o’clock and Cillian was out, walking his dog and getting some Aspirin from the nearby pharmacy following his incident with James and you decided to have a bath before the said storm was scheduled to come in later that evening.

Despite, you really needed to get your mind of the fact that Cillian was about to shag Lindsay which, in the past, hadn’t bothered you but, more recently it did. In addition, your friend Laura continued to nag you about updates on Cillian’s life, telling you that she was still very much in love with him and asking for your help to turn things around between them.

The sky had already darkened and you decided to gather all of the scented candles Cillian had in the house and carry them to the bathroom. You arranged them all around and poured yourself a glass of red wine before settling in the hot tub which was facing the backyard through a one-sided window, meaning that no one could see inside.

With Cillian being out, you didn’t bother closing the bathroom door and allowed the heat from the fireplace in the living room to radiate throughout the house.

Just as you sat in the half full tub and watched as the steaming water began to fill it completely, you reached for your phone and ipods to listen to something relaxing.

When, finally, the tub was filled completely, you lowered yourself into it allowing the bubbles to overtake your body. Your knees were slightly bent as you laid back and your breasts were floating on the surface just barely exposed to the air above the water. Your hair was floating and the bubbles were popping all around your head while you listened to an audiobook narrated by Cillian.

His voice was always something you enjoyed listening to, now more than ever and you closed your eyes to take in this moment of solace.

But, just as you did, Cillian’s face appeared beneath your eyelids and your heart instantly skipped a beat. You wanted to feel his strong hands on every inch of your wet body and, with those thoughts in mind, your hand began to caress your ass cheek while thinking about him. With each stroke you moved a little further up your thigh and back down the back of your ass. Your pussy lips were throbbing and wet from more than just the warm water, begging to be touched.

You were in a trance, listening to Cillian’s voice through your headphones as you slowly began to pleasure yourself and, with your mind being so far gone, you didn’t even realise that Cillian had returned home from his walk early as it was pouring with rain outside.

‘Y/N?’ he shouted through the house as you were nowhere to be found until, eventually, he realised that you may be in the bathroom.

With the bathroom door open, he looked inside only to find you with your eyes closed, facing the opposite direction towards the large one-sided window.

‘Y/N, shit, I am sorry’ he huffed out and, as you continued to run your hand up and down your naked body, he realised that you had your headphones in and didn’t hear him.

Cillian turned around quickly and you released a gentle moan that softly echoed in the bathroom. In your mind, you wanted him more with each touch of your hand but, of course, he didn’t know that.

When Cillian heard your moan, his manhood immediately went on alert and whilst he knew it was wrong, he couldn’t help himself but turn back around and watch you.

Unbeknownst to you, Cillian watched you as one of your hands was massaging your breast while the other slowly spread your legs exposing more of your pussy to the warmth of the water. It crashed against your lips like waves in the ocean and they were pulsating, begging for more.

‘Jesus, look away, fuck’ he said to himself quietly inside his mind as he stood there motionless and with a raging erection. He wanted to strip down naked right there and join you and it took all of his willpower not to do exactly that.

‘Hmm’ you moaned again as you listened to Cillian’s voice through your headphones and took your fingertips and tightly squeezed your clit. You could feel your juices being released and your legs spread wide as your hand pressed and caressed your mound.

‘Fuck’ Cillian’s mind said again, urging him to walk away and, just as he had built up enough strength and turned around, he heard you again.

‘Cillian’ you huffed out but with your eyes still tightly closed and feeling each sensation you were creating as you indulged on the sound of his voice.

Cillian immediately turned around in a panic, thinking that you had caught him watching you. Why else would you have said his name, he wondered.

To his surprise, when he turned around in a panic, you still had your eyes closed and continued to pleasure yourself. Your hand was working over your mound from top to back and teasing both of your holes now and, with Cillian watching, you continued to touch and tease yourself, caressing the inside of your thighs.

Perhaps he was imagining you calling out his name he thought. You couldn’t possibly have said his name while you were masturbating. Clearly, his mind was playing tricks on him and he was sure about it.

Then, the unimaginable happened. You stood up inside the tub in all of your naked glory. Bubbles were running down your body and the smell of vanilla was in the air as you climbed out of the bathtub.

Cillian was quick to disappear into the hallway and thought that, perhaps, he should have closed the bathroom door. But then, he heard his name leaving your lips again and, just as he went back to see whether you were, in fact calling for him, he watched you lean against the vanity with your headphone still inside your ears and your fingers running over your outer walls of your pussy before teasing your clit with a soft abrasive touch.

In a trance and consumed by pleasure, you dropped your towel to the floor and squeezed your clit between your fingertips as you stood there with your eyes shut. The candle lights still danced in the room, bouncing off the water drops still on your soft skin.

All of your tattoos were on full display and so were your piercings, including the one on your clit which Cillian became rather curious about.

He could not take this any longer and watched you desperately as your body cried out and you responded by slowly inserting your index finger into your cavity and sliding it back out. You did this a few times until she pushed it in deep and held it there, massaging your inner walls. Then you added a second finger into your hot pussy pushing some of your juices out onto your hand.

Cillian swallowed harshly when, eventually, you removed your fingers from your hole and placed them one by one into your mouth, sucking them clean.

‘Jesus fucking christ’ he thought and, despite the fact that he knew that Lindsay would be visiting him in the next hour or so, he turned around and made a quick run to his bedroom.

Seeing you like this was too much for him and, without giving it a second thought, he unzipped his jeans and pushed them down half way in order to release his raging erection.

Leaning against the dresser in the bedroom, he began to stroke his hard shaft vigorously, thinking about what you did in the bathroom at the same time as he was seeking relief.

Just as Cillian was stroking his cock hard and fast while thinking about you, you thrusted your fingers in and out of your pussy while thinking of him. Eventually, you began to pound your pussy, slapping your clit with each thrust. Faster and harder bringing yourself to an orgasm.

Just as you came, your moans filled the entire house, thinking that you were on your own.

‘Oh god, yes Cillian’ you groaned and there was no mistaking it. It was his name he heard when you came and this alone sent him over the edge, causing him to cum hard onto the pile of dirty clothes besides the dresser.

Just as he stroked the last few drops of cum from his shaft, he heard the doorbell ring.

Quickly, he grabbed one of the t-shirts from the pile of clothes and cleaned himself up before walking downstairs and opening the front door.

‘Hey Sweetie’ Lindsay said, carrying two shopping bags.

‘You are early’ Cillian said before giving her a brief kiss.

‘I wanted to surprise you and thought I would cook for you. For Y/N too, of course. At least this way, you can finally introduce us properly and I don’t feel like your beck in call’ Lindsay explained.

‘Sounds great’ Cillian said somewhat flustered just as you walked through the hallway almost completely naked.

‘Oh my god, you are home…fuck’ you shouted, covering your breasts with a towel and Cillian couldn’t help but sigh.

He thought about you, calling out his name as you masturbated and now he was in his hallway with Lindsay who clearly wanted to mark her territory.

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[doublechocolate]

episodes 7-11

Crosshair encountering a clone assassin who's just as stubborn as he was. how do you like them karma?

i knew Wolffe would come through

i wonder why Rex didn't mention anything about the Jedi when he heard about the M-count thing

"bounty hunter" mention [the mandalorian theme goes brrr in my head]

FENNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEC!! still as beautiful as i remember

PHEE MY GIRL! will i get to see more of you? we never got that techphee closure did we

a side quest for a quest that's part of a bigger quest. yup, this is the bounty hunting business i know

"it's not my head". *narrator's voice* in fact, everything was in his head

crocodiles? oh we in Florida!

hold up who is Fennec playing triple agent with? 👀 a Jedi??

OH SHIT IT'S VENTRESS

"your blood doesn't make you a Jedi. you'd have to be trained for that" <- i mean, yeah

and here i thought Ventress was going to take Omega's blood and test it like Qui-Gon did with Anakin's in The Phantom Menace. but of course she uses the traditional method instead 😂 a Jedi indeed

at least Omega had better attention span than Grogu

FUCK YEAAAH LIGHTSABER GO WRRROOOO WRROOOO

The Force is so beautiful *michael scott crying meme*

that little baby is Force Sensitive 🥺 lil guy is in danger isn't he... :(

"there are few adults left with such characteristics" yeah so there was this genocide on the Jedi---

OH so Omega's blood acts as a binder to recreate M-count levels. gotcha 🫡

wild Cad Bane and Todo appear

see, Emerie? this is why you don't be a narc. those kids tho... :(

Phee!

and this is why you don't leave your ship's ramp open 😭

Omega leaving her Batch Bear and Tech's goggles behind ouchie :(

NOOOOOOOO NOT THE MARAUDER. this is the Razor Crest all over again

NOOOOOO OMEGA!! this is Grogu all over again I CANNOT

Crosshair failing to shoot the tracker right at a moment when his sniping skills were needed the most [EMOTIONAL DAMAGE]

finally started watching The Bad Batch season 3. here are my Thoughts™ on the first six episodes

of course Omega becomes friends with a doggo and names him Batcher. new emotional support animal found

Crosshair has a new bestie now, whether he likes it or not

passage of time shown through character's hair length

Mox, Deke and Stak are voiced by Daniel Logan and Julian Dennison?? that's so cool :3

TENTACLE MONSTER

i know that music aaaand yup it's Palpatinis the Menace. i missed Ian McDiarmid's voice 😌

so that's why Nala Se has been destroying Omega's blood samples

PRISON BREAK

how do you like babysitting, Crosshair?

Emerie you narc 😭

Batcher returns :3 they're a trio now.

so if Omega's blood can replicate the M-count that means Palps has been supplying Hemlock with fallen or captured Jedi's blood for M-count samples. horrifying to think about

The Gang tries bribery. 30,000 credits seem apt for this economy

Help us, Pro Poker Player, Omega. you're our only hope

THEY TOOK BATCHER??? now i'm pissed

nobody puts Batcher in a cage

Crosshair's skills are finally not being wasted. good call, Omega. sometimes you do gotta bring a gun to a knife fight

OMEGA IS HOME! REUNION! REUNION!!

"you found us" i'm crying 😭

i'm worried about Crosshair's hand and deteriorating sniping skills. why do i feel this is gonna come back to bite him.

Hunter vs Crosshair: Epic Smoldering Battle

ooooh snowy planet.

MORE LORGE CREECHUR

damn i was just watching a video on crevasse yesterday and now Hunter falls into one

yaaay they're friends again

REEEEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXX (longest yeah boi ever)

nice to see Chuchi again. my girl really breaking her back doing underground work

another one of those clone assassins 🧐

Gregor mention! and Howzer's here!!

hold on a second i know that clone's voice

YUP IT'S WOLFFE!

[harriescherriess]

leaving like a father, running like water….

in which harry does the one thing he promised never to do…

switch from 1st person to 2nd person to 3rd person a lot so sorry if it’s confusing i don’t have a degree in this shit

inspo/recommend by @hrryfics

———————————————————————

“please don’t leave me” betty whispered as she curled up to harry, basking under the starlight, celebrating a whole year a whole year on earth together. in love. and happy. but no matter how much harry promised her he would always stay, she still muttered those four words that always had a way at breaking his heart. hurting for his sweet girl and whispering sweet nothings, hoping he could make her fears go away.

betty had a good childhood. at least that’s what she told herself. her definition of ‘childhood’ was always just the first 12 years of her life. before she had to realize what life really meant. before she had to realize the one man she was always supposed to trust, to love, to ask advice from, was far from the man she ever thought he was. and that was the day her childhood ended and the cruelty of life started.

———————————————————————

“please don’t leave me” she said in his ear at the party her bestfriend inez dragged her to. she didn’t wanna come, therefor she dragged harry there. he looked at her with confusion in his eyes but complied, leaving a gentle kiss on her temple and tightening his grip on her, not too hard but not too soft, reminding her that he was there. a silent promise that he would never leave.

he always did, promise not to leave. always. never once did he not reassure, out loud or in a way only they could understand. but he did it, and it was the one thing she held onto.

———————————————————————

“please don’t leave me” she pouted as he was leaving for London to shoot a new movie, she was beyond proud, no doubt about that. her lovie was not only a pop sensation, but a movie star, and also a world class cuddler who she did not want to let go off for a whole four weeks.

“i have to go my love, but i’promise i’ll be back, and i’ll even bring’ya those sweet cookies ya’like so much” she blushed and held him tighter, but not missing that fact that he did was he always did. he promised. just like he always did. all her fears washed away as she dropped him off at the airport. and as always, she said in the car under the dim streetlight, listening to his music until is plane was in the air

———————————————————————

she awoke from her sleep with a thin layer of sweat cast over her chest and face, breathing heavily and sporadically. the nightmares always seem to fade into existence when harry’s gone. each day away from his they get worse and worse. only making her fears grow.

harry immediately picked up, but his breathing matched her, heavy, as if he was out of breath. she pushed it aside as she was just happy to hear his voice. “yes?” he said as if he wanted to get the conversation over with. “h-harry?” she whispered out, barely audible. “fuck baby whats wrongs” he sounded concerned, i could hear shuffling around the room. “i-i h-had a dream about h-him” she. could braelyn finish a sentence until a sob broke loose. “i-i’m really sorry harry, fuck it m-must be l-late i’ll go. just promise y-you won’t l-leave me, okay?”

“i love you baby okay? it’s my call time i gotta go i’ll call you later. promise me you’ll be okay?”

“i’ll be okay i promise” then the call ended.

she was a smart girl. and she knew a lot of things, yea maybe she wasn’t an actor, but she knew that they don’t have call times at 4am. and she also knew that he didn’t promise her. he always promised her. but he didn’t. not this time.

when you’re young, they assume you know nothing, but betty? she knew everything.

———————————————————————

“please don’t hurt her” she yelled at her father, she had walked in on him hitting her. not just a single slap, not just a push. a punch, then a kick, then a push, then another kick, and when he went in for the last kick is when she screamed. not understanding what was going in. her parents loved each other. yea they argued sometimes but they loved each other.

“go” her mother mouthed to her “please” she mouthed again and again until betty walked out, went into her room and sank to the floor. “please don’t hurt her” she said over and over. not realizing she was shaking in the process.

———————————————————————

over the course of three weeks they barely talked. he left a couple of ‘love you’s’ but that was it.

that’s exactly what her father did. he left. never once explained him self, it’s not like she wanted to hear the explanation. but all he ever did was send a few cards here and there. each and everyone of them read “love you.” every. single. one. he thought that was enough. but it wasn’t.

———————————————————————

when inez came up to her and showed her the news article she couldn’t believe it. they were kissing. they kissed each other. and it didn’t look like acting. speaking as he was dressed in his clothes and wearing the jewelry you bought him.

you didn’t wanna believe it. you couldn’t. he promised. almost every damn day he promised. and it was harry. and you were his sweet girl. you knew he couldn’t do that. but maybe they were right when they said she knew nothing.

harry called an hour later. inez had left after trying to calm you down. you were crying hysterically. shaking and whispering “he promised. he won’t leave me he promised.”

inez couldn’t knock any sense into her. so she gave up. but betty wouldn’t never forget the rumors she heard from inez. she could barely comprehend what she had said. but deep down a part of her knew it was true.

when harry called you couldn’t answer it. you didn’t answer it. you ignored it. but you listened to the voice mail an hour later.

“some pictures got out my love. they were for a scene in the movie i promise. i love you and i’ll be back with you soon, promise”

———————————————————————

four weeks had past. the “love yous” and “miss yous” became a daily routine. she had gotten over the call. not wanting to seem crazy. not wanting to break something she longed for her whole life. but now she was at the airport. waiting for harry to come back. waiting for him to hold her, to come back to her as he promised. as she knew he would always do. but when he walked off that he wasn’t alone. he was laughing with her. and she was a little bit too handsy.

but when harry looked at her and smiled. all her thoughts and fears faded away and she ran and jumped onto, her body filled with love and eyes filled with tears. “i missed you” she whispered. “i missed your more love” he said back.

but when she looked over she saw her. standing there with a sad expression in her face. but what really broke betty was the site of her favorite sweet cookies in here hand, which prompted her to ask, “lovie did you get my cookies?”

normally it was the four word questions that broke him. but this six word one was what put it all in perspective. what he did. what he did with her. and what he had done to the one thing that he promised himself to never hurt.

“she got hungry on the plane and they were in my carry on, i’m really sorry lovie, i’ll make it up to’ya how does that sound” he said with a wink, hoping it would fix everything. but that look she gave him told him that it didn’t. and that he majorly fucked up.

“it’s okay” you murmured, not wanting to upset him or cause a scene, you slowly let go of him and faced towards her. “i don’t think we’ve met yet, i’m betty, and you’re?”

“augustine” she said sadly. betty couldn’t understand why she was possibly sad as she was eating the best cookies ever but she pushed away the thought. “nice to meet you, do you need a ride as well?”

“no” was all she said. you couldn’t sworn you saw a tear fall but you ignored it, as she immediately walked away. and after that harry really knew he fucked up.

———————————————————————

“are you leaving me” you murmured, not even bothering to hide the tears. those four words broke him more then she would ever know. but he couldn’t stay with someone when he knew he loved her more. at least he thought.

“i’m sorry” he said. “i’m leaving you and i’m sorry” and then he was gone.

he broke his promise. and he was gone.

should i make a part 2???????? well see *evil laugh* also didn’t proofread or edit and i’m sorry for all the changes in POV and narrator shit i realized half way through and didn’t feel like re-writing

edit- part 2 out nowwwww

[jiminrings]

hey hannah! hope you are doing great darling ( ˘ ³˘) ♡ i may have a request in mind, a university/college au with jock!jk and shy art major!yn or an olympics au? with olympic athlete!jk and olympic athlete!yn (you decide which sports!) thank you so much in advance ♡

never (k)not you

pairing: jungkook x y/n

wordcount: 5k

glimpse: established relationship ft. jock!jk and shy art major!y/n, y/n gets an unexpected pep talk and jungkook doubts himself, and either so much tears or so much dUST according to kook

notes: baby ok FIRST OF ALL, i’m so sorry i only got to write this now :(( it’s been three months since you sent in this request bUT well it’s here now :D thank you so much for requesting and waiting!! i really hope ur still here or else i-i... will lose it

if you squint, best friend!tae is actually rich kid tae both from the art major drabble and insufferable!!

lunch with taehyung either makes the both of you the LOUDEST motherfuckers in the planet or it’s just comfortable silence

comfortable silence’s more common whenever the two of you are in public because to put it simply

he’s cold and you’re shy!! makes sense

but god just mention his girlfriend’s name oNCE and he’ll talk your ear off and you get genuinely excited when he is

he just needs to mention gouache for less than a second and you will genuinely freak

then suddenly the both of you are the chattiest beings ever and absolutely no one will yield until they get the final say

but this

this just feels weird...

because it’s lunch and you’re not talkative and the silence is most definitely not comfortable

you just know tae has something up his sleeve and will probably catch you off-

“are you and jungkook a thing?”

...

......

it’s never actually registered in your head that you and jungkook are a THING but absolutely no one knows

literally no one

not even the dust living underneath your bedframe!! or if guardian angels existed, then they’d probably be clueless as fuck

lol wait what was that cold gust of wind on ur arms

jungkook is the dreamiest man alive and he’s been your boyfriend for what?? two years now??

and the two of you, and more of him actually, insisted to keep it private

your relationship is none of anyone’s business and it uh.,. it literally seems to be that way because sometimes even yOU forget that you’re in a relationship

jungkook avoids you like the plague and you keep to yourself like you do with all your gouache

this dynamic of no one knowing has been so instilled in you that tae’s innocent (?) question is enough to make you spiral little by little

taehyung was just harboring an idea ok

because like two days ago when you went out with him and his girlfriend for ice cream, jungkook was there too by himself

and that just seems like pure coincidence

but then they dOn’t seem like coincidences anymore when he realizes on the same day how many classes he was in where you were in

and you don’t even have the same major!!!

or when he’s walking you home because your apartment is literally on the right side of his girlfriend’s (changbin’s on the left) and he’s taking every possibility he gets

but it just so happens that uh... jungkook’s always there from a distance? like when the two of you are walking and that guy just hAD to be there at the back??

goddamn it tae should’ve gotten his parents’ offer for personal security while he’s studying in campus :((

“woah woah wOAH what’s the matter?” you panic when he shoves you inside your apartment the moment you manage to open it

“this fucking jungkook guy is either stalking you or me and it’s starting to get on my nerves!!”

“... taehyung-“

and then he realized that oh... ok... i see

what if this guy has a crush on you??

but it didn’t make sense because why would this soccer guy (no offense) that’s a jock (no offense) who always either looks high with how giggly he is (no offense) or bereaved with how he scowls (no offense) could POSSIBLY like you???

you who’s the art major (no offense) with your clothes almost exactly like he is (no offense) that he has an inkling that either you were copying him or him copying you (no offense) and the shyness that you absolutely wouldn’t talk to anyone unless they go first and tHAT even became a tough cookie for him!! h i m

wait

on another thought...

that does make sense

you and jungkook are more likely to be a couple than anyone else more alike to either of you, no offense :D

and the way now that you’re frozen and scoffing like ur voicing mater’s engine in cars

“w-what? FUCK no!!”

mhmmm

yeah that’s the spot

taehyung means this in full offense but you’d be absolutely bankrupt if ever you wanted to try your hand at poker when your tell is literally cussing in capital when you’re flustered

this is the equivalent of your mom leaving you by the line to the cashier at the grocery when she needs to get something and you’re next at the line and you have no money on you and you’re too hesitant to tell the person behind you to-

“why? are you thinking of asking him out?”

he hears you seethe and that’s only the second time he’s heard you actually do that so he may have straightened his posture a lil

you wouldn’t hold it against taehyung because jungkook is one fINE specimen and tae doesn’t stare from that description anyway

you just can’t help but feel a lil.....

ಠ_ಠ

because you know that jungkook is yours and when it comes to things like these, you can’t do anything about it

how could you??

fine... if taehyung tries to-

smack!

the fact that your friend has a gigantic palm for one doesn’t soothe the gears in your head

you’re positive that your brain actually shook inside your head for a split second

“i already have someone, dumbass.”

taehyung has to remind you again to which you immediately awe in remembrance, a sheepish smile on your face bc for a moment, you actually considered begging for tae to back the fuck off without making it seem you’re already with jungkook

he waves you off because you’re about to coo at him again, a small smile on his face because he wouldn’t forget how he’s so lucky

it’s nice to be in love!!

you should probably try it some time

but then again, taehyung’s starting to think that you’ve been in a longer relationship with jungkook than him in one, so he thinks that he should be the one taking notes from you

“can i, uhm, ask how did you know?”

you don’t mind swallowing your pride because you already know you can’t bullshit your way out of this one, a timid look on your lap

sheesh

tae’s pride seems to swell up because his suspicion’s right just by oNE singular try

“because i’m rich kid kim :) don’t you know that?”

see now this is only one of the few times that he’d gladly take his title

rich kid kim was coined by the courtesy of changbin, his girlfriend’s friend :/

it just seemed to STICK on everyone else after then

changbin was the first to narrate his actions like he’s the lead star of a poorly-produced netflix film

what’s wrong with rich kid kim? is his greeting every time he crosses paths with changbin

he was just pissy that oNE time!! it was ONE time

taehyung thinks of the whole jungkook situation and relates it to him as much as possible because ya know,,, he is the main star and koo’s just a second lead

ok changbin’s netflix narrations are really rubbing off on him

“think of jeon jungkook as an elitist that everyone wants to be close with, and yet he actually looks like one of the good guys — like me — and he looks like he wants to shoot himself in the foot when he gets offered caviar oNE more time, and then you’re like uh, the comic relief???”

he spews his interpretation all in one breath effortlessly and you’re just blinking slowly to try and digest it all

it’s oddly too specific

hol up now why does it sound like he’s been actually waiting for you to ask him that

HOLD ON YOU’RE THE COMIC RELIEF???

“a clowN?” is what you react first and tae can’t believe that that’s the only thing you picked up from his perfectly sound analogy

“uhhhh like a bartender? a waitress? someone that isn’t a socialite,” he shrugs as he tries to make amends, remembering that the last time he went to a rich kid kim party, no one was technically in pennywise shoes nor juggling bowling pins

“are you trying to insult me tae?”

:((

yIKES are u gonna cry

“what?? no!! no!!” he launches from his seat as if he was falling and that catches him a couple of glances from rich kid kim loyalists (there’s a lot of things he’s unaware of), about to punch the floor if only their lord and savior didn’t take it in stride, “i’m not trying to insult you, but it’s how you take it, y’know?”

his nonchalance puts you on the edge even more, launching from your seat and uh you don’t exactly have any concerned fanbase there to worry for you

“so i sHOULD?? tae you’re basically saying that-”

alright that’s it

he needs to actually get through you this time because more often that not, you are so fucking stubborn that it beats him

he glares at you, eyes looking comically large and pissy as he’s stopped in the middle of slurping from his cup noodles to talk some sense into you

it feels like an eternity until he finishes his noodles and you were almost tempted to just eat the remaining portion to fasten his pace

“in rich kid kim terms, or reality y/n terms?”

you’re almost too scared to answer but you already do before you can even process, raising two fingers

and for a moment, you think tae’s actually gonna go easy on you!

whew you definitely aren’t prepared if-

“do you come out together by the main door? or from the back?”

your eyes are as large as they could possibly be and if you stay in that same shocked and taken-aback state, you’d need to look for those creams with how much your eyebrows and your forehead are creased

u-uh well now that i think about it-...” okay maybe you and jungkook don’t come into uni by any of the several hundred main entrances at all, but that doesn’t mean-

“does he hold your hand? carry your backpack? doesn’t matter if you have a dumbbell in there or not, does he carry it?” tae lists item after item, racking through his mind as these were also all the things he does, and all the things he’s picked up from everyone

“does he bring your water? lend his hoodie when you’re not even sniffling? pick a fight when someone even looks at you the wrong way? read something relatively romantic in english lit, then text you about it? brag about you to his friends? does he-...”

...

....

okay

you are awfully too silent for even your nature

tae was blissfully obvious just two seconds ago when he was enumerating boyfriend traits (that he himself exhibited, excuse you) left and right

then he started to realize that you weren’t stuttering nor interjecting on the side

he’s :O when you’re standing up from your seat, straightening out your hoodie, one that isn’t jungkook’s, that you’ve been anxiously wrinkling for the past ten minutes

“excuse me, tae. i have uh.. i have a lot to think about.”

everything he’s said made a solid number on you because not even distracting yourself becomes successful

not even your mini fixation on gouache helped you because so far it really sucks

it’s become a routine of jungkook to come over to your apartment almost everyday that it practically feels he’s living with you

he knows where you keep your milk and how cold you want the AC to blast and how you organize your groceries

and yet jungkook can’t-

“koo do you love me?”

it’s a question that was sprung so suddenly because come to think of it, you’re knitting and jungkook’s head is buried in your thighs while he tries to take a nap

he doesn’t bother trying to figure out your thought process because it’s a question that’s so simple that it seemed trivial

jungkook’s a dream when he nods and hums to your thighs, making you tread your hands on his hair instead of your roll of yarn

“mhmmm. more than life itself.”

he loves loves you!!! he doesn’t even know why you’re asking

“okay,” you hum back, crouching down to press a kiss on his nape that he appreciates because he’s a little ticklish on that spot, “hold my hand tomorrow then.”

:-)

jungkook launches from his position on your thighs, sitting up immediately that it’s gotten him dizzy

“... w-what?”

oh boy here it goes

you don’t feel like dancing around this issue anymore because after all, you do have the right to stick your finger in this!!

he’s your boyfriend i mean like what’s not clicking

“it’s not that big of a deal, jungkook. it’s not like i asked you to propose to me or something.”

his eyes widen more at that, his cheeks puffing out and it makes you realize that taehyung was right and it dOES look like he’s hiding a goldfish in there sometimes

you try to bite back a laugh at that but jungkook is devoid from any entertainment at all, looking like you just asked him to pick between you and the universe

“you uh want me to propose??”

he has his hand awkwardly caressing his nape and his cheeks flush as he’s trying to process things

yeah he DOES love you and he’ll marry you eventually but you’re doing this now!!! as in now??

how’s your wedding gonna work? god, can the two of you decide on the menu for your reception? does this mean your aunts and his aunts would mee?? no no that could not possibly be-

“you don’t need to,” you sheepishly mumble and you’re not gonna deny that marrying jungkook did cross your mind every once in awhile

you aren’t against it but marriage is not the issue at hand!! it’s just about him hOLDING your hand tomorrow and not forever now

“so you don’t want me to?”

...... christ where is this going to

there’s palpable tension in the air and you just feel like giving up, sinking further into the couch and koo’s reading TOO much into it

what if you slouching on the couch means you’re breaking up with him and you wouldn’t marry him even if he was the last person alive

“if you aren’t ashamed of me, or if you don’t feel like dYING when i’m five feet away from you and your jock friends-“

“lovie i-“

your ringless hand raises and prompts him to shut up, palms a little sweaty and fingers tired from stress-knitting

“then hold my hand. tomorrow. please.”

:-)

okay fine then

last night wasn’t exactly the best experience because you felt a little too distant even if he was enveloping you into his arms

last night, kook didn’t even dare to try and press mischievous kisses from your jaw to your shoulder because you felt untouchable with how wringed you were

then he had breakfast by himself much earlier and had to practically sHAKE you awake to whisper that he’s gonna leave earlier because he has a plan, and then proceeds to tell you to act as if you didn’t know that he has a plan, then go back to sleep and forget altogether that this literal rude awakening even happened

if you ask him, he is wearing the most boyfriend fit ever in this entire universe

which is uh his regular outfit of a fit shirt and a cool-looking jacket with chunk boots thrown on top of it

BUT!!!!

hear him out ok

he’s wearing a bracelet

uh huh

a bracelet...... that has the iNITIAL of your name

yuh how romantic is that

man both hallmark and netflix must be bankrupt because of jeon jungkook!! he’s sure of it

he just knows

the big deal of it all is jungkook waiting for you by the stairs, bouncing on heels out of displaced nervous energy because he’s too jittery to just coolly lean against the wall

“kook?”

you’re tilting your head at the sight, a little lost but more on fond as he smiles squarely 

“y/n! it’s uh, it’s you! wow!!” 

he exclaims but not without tucking his hands into his pockets and non-discreetly looking around your surrounding before he deems it clear enough, which is what you still find useless for him to even do it!!

the whole point of this is to not care!!

he’s gingerly placing himself beside you and although it’s not exactly what you asked for, it makes you sigh a breath of relief because it’s been tOO long that you’ve been next to him in this public atmosphere

he’s not exactly far, but he isn’t exactly bumping shoulders with you either

there are some glances alright 

jungkook has a loose grip on you but you could fEEL how his hand is so sweaty

he’s just looking at the floor and he allows you to guide him because if not for you, he would’ve been bumping into both lockers and people non-stop

u actually have first period together but you typically sit rowS away but now he’s just sitting on the chair right above yours

he isn’t next to you but he’s literally above you, so maybe you’ll take it

you can’t exactly text taehyung how it’s going because he could see everything from where he’s seated at

this was supposed to be an enjoyable time :(

a nice, giggly, warm enjoyable time with jungkook

but being this unrestricted meant him being so rigid that quite frankly, you’ve grown sick and wary of it in less than an hour

you’re making your way to the library and jungkook’s sTILL following you when you were sure he wouldn’t have

and if you ask him, he doesn’t know either why he followed you

he jus did it without thinking even if it meant him taking quick steps behind you with his head down 

he doesn’t know why you’re here and he feels a little guilty that he should know it if this was already a part off your routine

but this time, jungkook can’t look at you because this time, you’re the one who’s unreachable

who kNOWS what your empty stare could possibly mean

“we don’t have to do this anymore, y’know.”

that’s the quickest way to conclude it, nodding to yourself surely

meanwhile, jungkook is a millisecond away from a goddamn mELTDOWN

“w-what do you mean?”

“this!” you genuinely chuckle and even wiggle your hands around to make a point

he swears to god rn that he is gonna BLUBBER

“a-are you breaking up with me right now?”

his voice is already cracking and it reminds him that oh, yeah, the two of you are in the library and he’s about to cRY

you’re gasping when you take his trembling hand and jungkook wants to snatch it back and beg you to hold it tighter at the same time

oh no :-)

“it’s okay. i don’t mind anymore. and what, we’re gonna graduate like a year from now! doesn’t matter anymore.”

but wait it SHOULD matter

he’s gonna cry oh god oh god he’s gonna-

“you don’t need to change for me.”

:((

so that’s what

jungkook cries and it’s from relief that no, you aren’t breaking up with him

“o-okay,” he nods as he wipes his own tears that are blurring his vision and there’s sO much that he actually worries if it would budge his contacts

he just wants a hug from you to console him like you always do

but instead, you look around, settle on tapping his chin, then standing up

“cheer up. i’m gonna go eat lunch with felix.”

and then yOU’RE the one leaving him

quick

does he really look like a red-nosed, bleary-eyes, puffy-lipped mess??

say sike rn lads

jungkook clearly doesn’t look the best and he doesn’t exactly know what he was doing when he came out of the library and marched over to hang out with his friends like he always did

but something’s just different

he looks like someone whose world turned upon him and has nothing left to himself

surprisingly, it’s not hobi who’s the only one thinking of that

his friends are all ????

“y’okay man??”

namjoon’s the first to break the silence and everyone sighs because they were all holding a breath just by looking at jungkook’s distraught state

“yeah! just, uh, just —“

he’s back to being preppy in an instant but he can’t establish eye contact, swinging his arms by his sides and looking around just to look natural and gOD IS THAT YOU??

you’re you

you’re there, walking with felix and your backpack on hIS shoulder

.,., the same backpack that he’s bought you one birthday ago, on tHIS dude’s shoulder strewn as if he didn’t panic in between which variant should he buy for you

you look blissfully unaware that he’s cried himself just by thinking about you and your words and lack of actions just awhile ago

“nothing.” 

jungkook grits out and suddenly, he isn’t sad anymore :D

just uh

just a lil frustrated :D agitated :D or maybe feeling a little inadequate and outraged :D

this other mini breakdown going on his head doesn’t go unnoticed because here he is, so close to injuring his fist with how tight he’s clenching it

the guys, however.,.,

seokjin whistles and goes as far to squint his eyes intentionally that he looked like a distraught chihuahua, immediately grabbing jungkook’s actions as he nods his head to your direction

“y/n, right?”

jungkook froze and everyone is just waiting on him, mouths a little parted because they’ve caught on jin’s little plan and somehow, he might’ve struck a chord sO hard that-

“keep your fucking dick in your pants, seokjin.”

WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH

everyone’s reacting to his seething like a flock of seagulls to a piece of bread

yeah they’ve seen the youngest of their group mad, but not tHIS type of mad that he looks like he would’ve hit his hyung with a skillet upright if he had one onhand

everyone’s visibly offended besides seokjin, the man mentioned just amusedly shrugging his shoulders with a dimpled smile that unintentionally provoked jungkook even more

“told you,” yoongi gives up his last batch of cookies to namjoon, a long-winded bet finally coming to an end because of what was only supposed to be a harmless question by jin

“if y/n was your girlfriend, you could’ve just said so!!” 

jin ruffles his hair and it doesn’t exactly take a genius to see how he cares for you!!

jungkook looks out for you in ways he couldn’t even notice doing

he always had two umbrellas in his backpack and when it was raining, he’d leave one on purpose by the front of this specific locker

hoseok actually borrowed an eraser without permission from kook once, but then he found a combination of tampons n napkins that he grimaced because what :// those aren’t even the good brands!! he has a sister and now has a handful of knowledge about monthly visits, so he takes note to talk to jungkook about it some time

there’s even an extra sweater in his backpack that always remains unotuched

one time, jimin complained that he was cold and turned to jungkook, full-well knowing that the fucker had oNE more sweater tucked in his bag, who just plains-out ignore him and even tch!s him under his breath

they somehow had a clue all along and now that jungkook realizes, he may be a little dENSE

OH RIGHT

WHY WOULD HE HAVE KEPT YOU HIDDEN

that’s entirely stoopid of him

what was the reason lmao

this time, jungkook’s more than eager to make it up to you

eVEN if you’ve insisted that nothing was wrong!!

it was just the last day before christmas break so it went by considerably fast-paced because even the professors were a little antsy to come home!!

that didn’t stop him, because clearly, jungkook holds your hand tight this time and he’s looking straight ahead

he looks proud

he feels natural and giggly the whole day that you couldn’t stop either because it’s a complete 360 from yesterday

wouldn’t absolutely stop holding your hand and following you

even kisses the top of your head like a kitten repeatedly

eVEN SAT IN A CLASS HE DIDN’T HAVE TO BE WITH YOU

something’s up with jungkook alright

the two of you are back again on the couch — you knitting, and him buried and napping on your thighs

it’s a bit of a shock when he grabs your hand all of a sudden, a half-sleepy and full-on dreamy look on his face when he’s looking up at you from being laid down on your lap

a red silicone band :D

you’re still speechless when he’s sliding it on your ring finger, admittedly getting the wrong finger the first time which is why he’s sheepish and holding back a giggle

“jungkook....?”

unsurprisingly, it looks good on you

he seems to think so himself when he’s giving you another one, holding his hand out and you’re doing the same without even an explanation present

“it’s a placeholder :)”

a placeholder?? hold on ur heart is a lil fragile

your eyes widen and your lips downturn on instinct, making him giggle as he smushes your cheeks to just let him explain

“all this marriage talk just had me thinking-”

“are you PROPOSING right now??”

both the mix of panic and excitement stains you clearly, mouth dropping open as you try to fumble for atleast something to wipe your face with

hee-hee 

“maybe i am, maybe i’m not :)”

jungkook’s such a romantic it’s SICKENING

his mind drifts off and you can’t blame him!!

his family’s well-off so maybe he could cash in his next ten birthdays for a loan or maybe even a house to help ease the two of you in

maybe the two of you could even build it from the ground up

the two of you could also move into this nice apartment after graduation!! he’s been eyeing it for quite awhile actually

“you wanna get married early?”

“maybe i do, maybe i don’t :D”

jungkook’s faux nonchalance makes you grin yourself, the both of you knowing what answer he’d yield anyway

“as long as it’s you,” you declare surely, bending down to press a kiss on his nose that tickles him and makes his heart full

“as long as it’s me?”

jungkook smiles cheekily at your statement pressing kisses on the top of your thighs that’s got you fumbling at him to just embrace you immediately

he’s a little bulky with all the muscles he’s gained and worked on, a little pressured when he’s sitting on your lap upright and won’t absolutely stop kissing you sweetly

“you should start on knitting your wedding garter now :D”

[onceupona-chaos]

Why keep an open mind about Elain

(And why her book will slap hard)

When I was writing this one-shot right here, I read a few posts about Elain as a spy, some of them liked the idea, others didn't. Which is totally ok, if you don't, of course. I also reread a lot of scenes from the books to understand better how this could play out.

But I came across some comments about how Elain being a spy would make her "lose her characterization" or be "out of character". So I wanted to talk a little about it. This post will be discussing those comments specifically and why you should keep an open mind about Elain.

NOTE: As usual, sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language. I really hope I made myself clear. If you have any comments, I would love to hear them. Be kind!

1. Elain as a character

The first reason I don't believe that argument is because ACOSF made it clear that we know very little about Elain. So how can we say it would be something out of character for her when we barely know her as a character?

So far, we only have other characters points of view on Elain: a person who has a sweet temper. But ACOSF came to tell us that there is another side of her. Nesta expected Elain to cry because of Graysen. She didn't. Elain didn't back down from her fight with Nesta, she didn't hesitate when it came to the Trove or the Hewn City, she laughed when Nesta told her to fuck off. In every single of those moment, Elain's behavior is emphasized by one reaction of the others: surprise.

"You think I’m to blame for his death?” Challenge filled each word. Challenge—from Elain, of all people.

"Elain showed some teeth," I observed. "I wasn't expecting that."

And this is nothing new. Look at what we have in ACOFAS:

and Elain—Elain—had taken up Azriel’s dagger and killed the King of Hybern instead.

The last two books highlight that 1) we don't know everything about her and 2) we expect one behavior from her.

But most importantly: she often doesn't correspond to what it is expected of her, especially in ACOSF.

And then we have this:

With time and safety, perhaps we'll see a different side of her emerge.

But I also think we haven't yet seen all she has to offer.

And before this makes someone think Elain will not get a book because we don't have much on her character, this is exactly what books are for. To develop a character. Before ACOSF, Nesta didn't have much development either. We had seen ACOFAS lay the background for her, the same way ACOSF laid the background for Elain's story.

Elain will surprise us. Sarah is practically screaming that at this point. So before judge something as out of character, we need to have in mind that Elain will have her arc and by the end of it, she will be different, she will grow. Which leads me to:

2. In order to be developed, characters need to change

Before ACOSF came out, lots of people said Nesta would never be a warrior, especially because of this line:

And why must I train at all? I am no warrior nor do I desire to be. (ACOWAR)

And I understand. I really do. But we went from that to Nesta not only becoming a Valkyrie, but also thinking about starting a small unit of females. Yes, that line is back in ACOWAR. However, in ACOSF Gwyn and Emerie said the exactly same thing:

Gwyn gestured to Nesta's fighting leathers, the overlapping scales. "I'm not a warrior".

Emerie's face yielded nothing, as blattle-hardened as Azriel's. "I'm not interested in a warrior's training".

There's a difference between developing a character and doing something out of character.

Elain already is passing through an internal change, which means SJM is preparing her for her arc. So we have to keep in mind that Elain will pass through challenges, changes in her journey, where she will learn new lessons, abilities. She will face and deal with her traumas and flaws, because she will be developed as a character. Of course, her essence will still be there, but in order to grow, she needs to change as well.

At this point lots of things happened to her, now we will see Elain making things happen. Changes like that are inevitable, necessary, but not out of character.

Now, if Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie became warriors, why would it be so out of character for Elain to become a spy?

Personally, I think if Elain became a warrior, that could be considered out of character, because Sarah already told us that her strength comes from a different place:

Elain had always been gentle and sweet—and I had considered it a different sort of strength. A better strength. To look at the hardness of the world and choose, over and over, to love, to be kind. She had been always so full of light.

Of course, this is Feyre's Pov, but is also SJM talking about Elain's nature.

We have to understand the difference between characters' point of view and what SJM is trying to tell us. For example, Nesta in ACOSF had one perception of Elain ("she is like a dog"), but SJM emphasized Nesta's perception as not correspondent to Elain's behavior. How? Using that scene where Elain talks about Nesta's dancing. in that moment, Cassian and the readers realized Nesta's point of view was biased, non correspondent to what Elain was showing us in that scene.

I'm saying that because there's a difference between narrator and author. But this is another discussion entirely.

But I truly believe from what we have seen so far, Elain isn't the warrior type. And despite the fact that we had just read ACOSF, therefore another book about warriors training doesn't sound so appealing, from what we had seen until now, Elain's has potencial (build up) to go to another direction, one that we haven't seen yet.

3. Elain already has what it takes

I want to look at this:

I wondered if Rhys’s spymaster often got his information through stone-cold manners as much as stealth and shadow.

My sister Elain can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles.

For the record, Feyre said this in ACOWAR and these both scenes are very close to each other.

Spying is not all about shadows and stealth. Azriel works from the shadows, but if Elain can be so lovely and convincing that anyone would do anything for her, she could be a different kind of spy. And with her Seer powers, she could be a valuable one. As much or even more than the Night Court spymaster. Look at this:

Shadowsingers are rare—coveted by courts and territories across the world for their stealth and predisposition to hear and feel things others can’t.

We know Elain can be almost as stealthy as Azriel. And she is a Seer, which means she can See and hear things others can't, too. Not to mention we already have seen that she is observant and knows how to keep a secret.

Elain pushed, “We keep it secret—we send the servants away [...] No one will know.”

“I think she’s got you beat for secret-keeping.”

Elain saw every single thing Nesta had done, and understood why.

Not only she is observant, but also knows how to read people, to understand them. Look at these scenes where Nesta said basically the same thing, but Feyre didn't understand her. Elain on the other hand...

With Feyre:

“Father would want you to—”

“Don’t you finish that sentence.” Despite the sound shield around us, there was nothing to block the view of my sister baring her teeth. The view of her fingers curling into invisible claws. A scene. This was about to become a scene in the worst way. (ACOFAS)

With Elain:

"[...] if Father were here—”

“Don’t ever mention him.” Nesta bared her teeth, but kept her voice low. "Never fucking mention him again.”

Pain slowly washed over Elain’s face. And understanding. “Is that what this is all about? Father?” Silver lined Elain’s eyes, but her voice remained steady, sure. “There was nothing that could have been done to save him, Nesta." (ACOSF)

Elain understood exactly what was going on with Nesta.

Nothing is more telling to me than this, and I highly doubt SJM didn't want to show us not only Nesta's internal issues, but how Elain can understand and read very others very easily as well.

Elain also understood when Feyre wasn't sure about buying gifts. And not get me started on Azriel's bonus chapter, where it's emphasized repeatedly that they can read and comprehend each other without necessarily saying what they meant. This shows a connection between them, yes, but also a skill.

Just imagine how valuable and rare she would be for the Night Court.

And the best part is it wouldn't be out of character, because she already presented those features. Besides, Elain can be lovely, delicate and be a bad ass spy (or whatever she wishes to, tbh) . Even better: she can use those characteristics in her favor.

Do not forget what Rhysand said: Elain is sweet and she is not afraid of get her hands dirty. We just haven't seen that yet, because SJM will show us that in her book. Simple as that.

4. Elain being a spy attends SJM's pattern

In every book (or series) so far we had a female character learning something new. Feyre learned how to control her powers (and to read), Nesta learned how to be a warrior. I think it's safe to say that Elain will learn something in order to be developed as a character.

You could argue she could learn anything, which is fair. But in ACOSF we learned that Elain can be stealthy as well. SJM emphasized it again and again, and there is no way in hell she did that just for fun. It's safe to say by now that even if she doesn't become a spy, this ability will play a role in her book.

A few examples that we all know too well by now:

Elain spoke from the doorway, having appeared so silently that they all twisted toward her, “Using me.”

"You came,” Elain said behind her, and Nesta started, not having heard her sister approach. She scanned Elain from head to toe, wondering if she’d been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends.

She'd leave her gift amongst his other, opened presents, subtle and unnoticed.

What is curious is that stealth is associated with Azriel, but also with Nuala and Cerridwen, Elain's friends. (Here, I highly recommend this amazing post for more on this friendship and what it means to Elain’s future).

I don't have a doubt the next book is about Elain, it will be her book. So you can't tell me the fact that her friends and love interest are spies is just a coincidence or that won't mean anything. Not when Elain herself has already started to show that she can be just as stealthy and subtle as any of them.

In this scenario, we have:

Elain learning how to be a spy with Azriel, whilst they work together to find the Trove and help each other to heal from their issues.

A female main character learning something new with the help from her love interest whilst they work together to solve a problem connected to the main plot and help each oher to heal from their issues.

I PRESENT YOU THE SJM'S PATTERN.

I know some people like or don't like this theory because that would mean Elain would have a connection to Azriel or because they don't like her becoming "similar to Azriel".

But the thing is: they already share a connection, they know each other for almost two years now and most of their interactions happened "off-screen", so they don't need her to become a spy to want to be together. They already do.

And mostly important, she wouldn't become similar to Azriel, because Elain already has the required features. We don't know much about her, but so far what we do know is: she is stealthy and a good secret keeper. She knows how to read and understand people. She can hear and see things others can't, because she is a Seer, and she can be convincing af.

Most of those were emphasized again in ACOSF concomitantly with Elain's another side. (Tell me again the next book isn't about her).

And again: a female character learning something with her love interest is SJM's pattern. We've just read a book that follows this exactly structure. Are we going to say Nesta or Feyre lost their characterization because they learned and now share the same abilities as Cassian and Rhys?

SJM already answered that for us in ACOSF:

“Does it undermine my image as a warrior to be with you?”

“No. Does it undermine Feyre’s when she’s seen with Rhys?”

This is so telling, I literally stopped my reading at this. We tend to put this passage aside because of what comes next (Cassian being very discreet and screaming he's Nesta's mate to every single soul in Velaris to hear), which is totally fair. But right there, SJM is telling us that female characters sharing abilities with their love interests is no reason to undermine them. On the contrary, in her books this is a way for them to heal togheter.

Knowing SJM, Elain being a spy along with Azriel, Nuala and Cerridwen wouldn't be nothing new. We have seen this story over and over again.

We have so much build up for this, I could go on and on and on. And before someone says this won't work because Azriel has to stay away from her, just take a second to think about how much tension we would get if they are forced to work together in order to find the Trove (or any other reason that SJM will come up with). We'll have a story full of secrets, tension, drama, angst, passion, desire, love. Things too easy don't make a good story.

But at the end, even if she does not become a spy, I just think we have many possibilities for Elain and an amazing story ahead of us. I really want people to keep an open mind about her and her book and not judge too harsh amazing possibilities as out of character. If Nesta hadn't became a warrior, we wouldn't have known the Valkyries. So maybe, when you judge a possibility like that, you are closing yourself to an amazing journey.

And also, Nesta was once judged and hated. A lot of people ended up changing their minds, which is great because she is awesome. So I think we already learned that lesson.

We will see another side of Elain emerge and she will surprise us. That's not me, that's SJM. She already told us that. Repeatedly.

All of this just to say: keep an open mind about Elain. She has what it takes and will surprise us - and I can't wait to see her becoming a badass.