#narky uses braincells

[narcoticwriter]

Hey, so I've actually been writing some little fics for a minute and this one was written before Natlan dropped.

But have at it regardless. I so called it.

[narcoticwriter]

Back with another banger of an idea relegated to a different style entirely.

[narcoticwriter]

Me: I really want to work on this-

Brain: No, you fucking don't. Here, have a 2.8K one-shot you wrote in two days. It also has nothing to do with what you're working on at all

Me:

Brain: But you do write some dialogue without wanting to throw yourself off a bridge.

Me: Thanks, I'll take it.

[narcoticwriter]

(slides into the tag after who knows how long) What's up?

[narcoticwriter]

I wrote another one.

[narcoticwriter]

Hey, hey, hey how y'all doin'?

[narcoticwriter]

A Concept:

Drummer Kunikida.

I saw one piece of fanart and it has not gotten out of my head since.

I would like to think that it would be an outlet for the constant amounts of stress he has to face from work. It would also be able to line up pretty well with his schedule and ideals for the reasoning that it’s quite simple (plastic drumsticks, mufflers, etc.). 

His favorite genres to drum to are something lowkey, like jazz or something of the other, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he eventually branched out into rock, alternative, and a pinch of heavy metal (the drums really go thwak on some of those tracks).

I personally think that he gets pretty good over a moderate time; he doesn’t seem like the type to give up that easily. He upgrades his drum set and materials accordingly, going from the simple drum set to a bigger and a more tailored set for him specifically.

After a little while, he will get confident enough to do streams (On YouTube, Twitch, whatever other Japanese service pick and choose, fellas). Of course, the streams themselves will be sporadic enough, depending almost entirely on work, but when he does, he cultivates a pretty decent fanbase and lo behold, his streams start to grow in size.

He didn’t really expect this to happen and now musicians want to collab with him- 

Yeah, it would be wild for him to deal with.

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Author’s Notes: This is mostly just a crack idea I came up with like the cracktastic person I am. I had a ton of fun thinking about all of this and it soothes me in a way to get it out, finally. Feel free to discuss it with me if you’re interested.

[narcoticwriter]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28655220

If you want some twisted lore in your life.

[narcoticwriter]

My Top Five Characters From Bungou Stray Dogs

Note: This is for fun and aligns with favorites and not necessarily the best. I could do one for my best, but this post will mostly be focusing on my favorites. There will also be manga and anime spoilers, so please read this at your own risk. (It’s best that you’ve caught up with both.) I also haven’t read any of the light novels, which is a crime, but I will in the near future.

5. Osamu Dazai

To start off, Dazai is an enigma. His levels of characterization and the way he does things in the series speaks to that ambiguity. He caught my eye the instant that I first watched the anime. A genius in his own right wanting to commit suicide and enthusiastic about it? It’s obvious that that would be intriguing to me. 

His mannerisms in the ADA and the Port Mafia also interested me, and kept me on my toes with the twist and turns those circumstances and settings took in mere instants.

His ability also interested me, seeing as he was the walking antithesis to the world of ability users. Combined with his intelligence, if he had decided to go rouge, he could do it in spectacular fashion. 

Then came along Dark Era, which gave me the insight of exactly how morally grey (darker grey, really) Dazai truly was. This is also the reason that he is not higher on the list. I acknowledge exactly how terrible of a person he is, and yet I want to know if he was born like this or if something happened to him while he was young. 

It doesn’t help that the sheer calculations and things he pulls to somehow make everything work involves emotionally and mentally manipulating people and groups, the allowance of certain events to take place, along with (of course) the enforcement of trauma for character development in the cases of his failed attempt with Akutagawa and his tabula rosa with Atsushi. 

Overall, his lack of care towards himself and the chilling willingness to do whatever it takes in the series terrifies me and yet keeps me wanting more of it. 

4. Ryuunosuke Akutagawa & Nakajima Atsushi

(The reason I put both is because of their correlations with each other as well as their parallelization and character base/development)

At first, when I watched the anime, I was put off by Akutagawa a great deal. Whenever he would appear and wreck havoc on whatever was happening. It just seemed pointless and I was frankly annoyed by how he would harass Atsushi for having the audacity to exist the way he did. Atsushi, on the other hand, was sad to watch sometimes; you could cut his lack of self-worth with a knife. 

After very deep dives into their parallels and characterizations, and especially after reading the manga, I have come to be refreshed by their revelations and their development as individuals and a cohesive fighting unit (Shin Soukoku). Granted, they still have a long way to go; seeing as their trauma from their mentor figures (Dazai and the headmaster) and their childhood circumstances ultimately shaped their dealings with one another. 

Also consider their combined abilities together. Atsushi’s Beast Beneath the Moonlight and Akutagawa’s Rashomon are one of the perfect mesh of an ability in the series. In contrast to Soukoku’s all-out offensive and emergency shut-off button, Shin Soukoku has both offensive and defensive capacities, making them in ways more efficient than their predecessors. Though Atsushi’s offensive capacities could be polished some and Akutagawa’s physical condition is a handicap, to me they are definitely formidable whether individually or working in tandem.

My personal relation to Akutagawa come from the need to unhealthy gain the approval of a figure that I highly respected, for Atsushi, it was the sheer lack of self worth and trying to find that reason to truly live.

I look forward to watching these core ideas clash and the both of their character/ability developments in the future.

3. Nakahara Chuuya

Dear God, he hurts me sometimes. I see a bit too much of myself in his character, but then again, this is why he’s in the top three, I suppose.

The first entrance and interaction he had in the anime had me full-on belly laughing, and as the series progressed, I grew to appreciate him more and be able to relate to him. 

The reason that he’s in this spot in particular is because of the animated Fifteen light novel. I realized something vital about his character and how he approaches life. He’s loyal as hell and the thing that brought him to the Port Mafia in the first place was Dazai’s fabricated betrayal. Even when he experienced the betrayal, he still asked to spare the lives of the Sheep. This showed me that Chuuya not only struggles with having value within himself, but would probably die in order to prove that he indeed has that value to others and that he isn’t just something to be discarded. It also doesn’t help that he struggles to see himself as human, given his unique circumstances of not remembering anything past the age of seven.

Another reason I like him is because of the complexity and lethality of his ability. Corruption is awesome and yet incredibly taxing at the same time (I have a thing for OP powers that come at a cost), and this goes back to the point of being used as a weapon and nothing more. I would like to know more about his power and how that will play a role in the future of the series. 

(And of course, his brazen and harsh personality is entertaining to watch and read, not to mention some writer’s characterization of him in the fanbase is top-tier.)

2. Doppo Kunikida

Kunikida is one of my favorite characters in the series for a plethora of reasons, but the most notable are his character, the dedication to his ideals, and an interest in how his character will develop in time.

His ability is not as bombastic as many of the others in the ensemble, but it’s quite useful for his profession and serves it’s purpose well enough.

Kunikida’s character, however, is refreshing to me. Even though he is uptight, strict, and self-motivated to be regimented in his life, I see him as a solid rock, a foundation that doesn’t waver even in the worse of circumstances, and to me that is difficult to not respect. 

In the series, I saw a man who would stick to his ideals no matter what, and at the near end, I realized exactly how stark his ideals are in the world he interacts with everyday. Of course, he’s not completely innocent and he does acknowledge that he may never completely live up to those ideals, but when I look at exactly how hard he tries to, I can’t help but feel inspired to chase my own ideals as well. 

Unfortunately, I also have a sick fascination to see how long it will take for Kunikida to completely break. In the anime and manga, I have seen him at those breaking points or approaching them with events like the little girl pulling the pin on that necklace of grenades or watching a kid he swore to watch dying in Dazai’s arms. 

Hell, both Dazai and Ranpo have warned him that having that headstrongness and ideals will make him a target for the breaking that will occur at some point, and as a pillar of the ADA, this could potentially be disastrous. 

It also doesn’t help that the government unceremoniously chopped his fucking hands off, not only accelerating the start of the eroding of his ideals, but also leaving a dangerous potential for him to become like Nathaniel Hawthorne in the future. 

I desperately want to see his character development and how he will handle this along with any future events in the series.

1. Edogawa Ranpo

Not only will I unabashedly admit that I kin Ranpo I will also say that he is one of my favorite anime characters of all time. His introduction was the only thing I thought about for months and his interactions with the rest of the ensemble always have me coming back for more. 

However, what made me come to love him was the fact that he didn’t have an ability and how he treats this.

He claims to have the ability of Ultra-Deduction, but it’s really just his stark genius and logical reasoning, and it also hit me personally. It screams I am like you. I am normal. This is also how I carried on a great deal of my younger life. It sounds like he is simply trying to fit in in that sense, which breaks my heart, if I’m being honest. 

On the topic of his particular skill set, the entirety of the ADA is built and organized based on what he can do, making him the literal foundation for the organization. 

His personality also makes me feel as if I am not necessarily alone in my struggles. His brutal honesty, his key interests, and the way he approaches people and circumstances is similar to myself to a degree that could be a bit scary. (I have a personal headcanon that he is on the spectrum somewhere, but this is open to debate and interpretation)

It would be a crime to not include his impact on key characters in the series, such as Yosano (before the ADA) and Kunikida (a warning, if I’m being honest). His honesty and his straightforwardness with them in various stages of their character development fueled their progress and more or less turned them into what they are now.

And don’t even get me started on his character development. It’s more like a character reveal, but I love it either way. His interactions and relationships with Yosano, Poe, and Fukuzawa serve as bases for this, but his arc in the manga (which has me begging me for Season 4 all the more) showed me that not only is he as complex as the other characters in the series, but as capable (if not more capable) as them as well. 

If we were to become a bit more light-hearted, his enthusiasm for snack food gives me life.

In summary, Ranpo is brilliant and hats off to Asagiri for doing him this well thus far. I will be patiently waiting for the next time he appears.

Honorable Mentions: 

Miyazawa Kenji (doesn’t deserve to suffer like he does in the manga)

Edgar Allan Poe (relatable to a degree that scares me)

Izumi Kyouka (a tragedy, but an inspiration at the end of it)

Ougai Mori (ruthless, cold, calculating, excellent antagonist)

Michizou Tachihara (kins Reiner Braun)

Mark Twain (solely because of the rp blog)

Sigma (just wants to run his sky casino)

Ichiyo Higuchi (the author says she has an ability, but it hasn’t been revealed yet, leaving potential and a suspense in the back of my mind)

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End Notes: Feel free to discuss this with me or whatever. I’d genuinely like to hear your opinions. I feel like this came out nicely and coherent. I may not do things like the other writers in this fanbase, but they somewhat inspired me to do this so kudos to them, I guess.

[narcoticwriter]

The Lamentation of the Common Man

The lamentation of the common man is simple enough.

There never seems to be too little to complain of.

"This person said that to me, that person said this to me, and I'm offended."

Ah yes, to the common man there seems to be no end.

(partially inspired by @yokelish)

[narcoticwriter]

"As the cacophony of noise swallowed her whole, she let it wash over her, no longer asking to be released from it, but only for it to end quickly."

Excerpt

[narcoticwriter]

"The symphony of regret and grief resounded over his ears, a sad song that told the story of a million souls over human history."

Excerpt

[narcoticwriter]

An Ode to November

Have mercy on me, oh dear November

Let your presence not be like the fervent heat of the summer

Nor the ruthless bite and chill of the winter

Instead, embrace me gently, like one does with their lover

Oh please, have mercy on me, dearest November

[narcoticwriter]

Rage

The clarity that comes with being enraged is quite interesting to think about.

Not only do you know exactly what you want to do to the target of said rage, but it’s also executed almost perfectly every time.

Rage, quite simply, is the by-product of feeling (and being, sometimes) lesser.

A combination of these factors can induce you to it, including (but not limited to): Failing when it’s painfully obvious how easy it is, doing everything right only to be told that it’s completely wrong, suffering injustice after injustice just for being born the way you were, being systematically beat down because of something you can’t control.

All of these scenarios and more like them are not the complete gatekeepers to rage. You can crawl into a hole and wither away after being subjected to those things. You can put your head down and hope that one day all of it will stop and you can breathe again. You can let it wash over you and drown you.

But the few, the very few, are bolstered by such harsh treatments. It starts slowly when you start to notice the differences and increments for the first time. You’re initially confused, and you do not feel as if it is right at all for those differences to be in place. As time goes on, the indignation that you feel towards your so-called ‘inadequacies’ only intensifies. It manifests in the forms of quiet rebellion and a certain look on your face that tells the person that they are no longer being taken into account.

If it gets worse, you spiral into a rabbit-hole of dysphoria. ‘Perhaps I am really pretending?’ ‘Maybe I am overexaggerating?’ ‘Can it really be because of my personality?’ This will consume you for a couple of weeks, months, years, decades even.

Then comes the final straw.

All of the questions, maltreatments, small belittling comments become clear as day. It all boils down to one question: Are you going to continue to put up with this?

The people who become complacent, quiet, muted, would answer yes in hopes of it subsiding.

However, the people who are disgruntled, dissatisfied, seeking the truth and know themselves truly and unabashedly would scream to the heavens: NO.

Everything that had been bottled up until that crucial moment would come out in the form of a mighty howl from deep inside your chest. Your throat burns readily with the noise that pours forth from your mouth. You revel in it, telling them exactly what you think and how you will go about fixing it yourself.

When they do not listen to you, when they toss it all to the side, when they ignore you like they always do, my friends that is when rage manifests itself.

It all comes forth at that point. You can never go back from that point. From that moment on, they know full well what you are and what you are capable of if provoked.

The only question you have left to ask yourself is this: What will happen to us now?

(End of ‘Rage’)

[narcoticwriter]

Lust

This word is a fickle one, culturally I mean. When someone speaks of lust, they think of wide, sexy hips and the rosy-pink of someone’s lips. When they say the word, it’s either as sultry as the lover or as disdainful as the upright saint.

The mindset described above is quite shallow and basic, as per the definition of lust, it means something along the lines of ‘wanting something very very much’, which could be virtually anything the person desires.

You can lust after fortune and fame, you can lust over influence, power, and your own ambitions. You can lust after material objects such as houses, cars, and things of that nature. You can lust for recognition and to be acknowledged for your achievements. This is going deeper, but it can be taken deeper still.

They say that no feast is too abundant for the starving man. The same logic can be applied to lust and need. The reason that lust is so abhorrent in the eyes of many is that it consumes you whole. If left to its own devices, everything that you do in your regular day-to-day life will point to that all-assuming want in your life. This can be plenty dangerous when applied to physical desires or ambitions that get a little to lofty, but as the feast is never too abundant for the starving man, the lust is never too much for the person that simply wants to be okay.

This want, this need is what drives many of us today. The simple, yet all-consuming desire of knowing that you are wanted not only drives us to harm, but to ruination and inevitable demise. The gaping hole inside many of us holds a deep, unrelenting lust of wanting to be enough for yourself, and driven by that lust, I fear that not many of us will ever reach that point. The by-product of neglect, misunderstanding, and ridicule only serves to feed this lust and make it that much harder to control.

This lust, in my personal opinion, is the most dangerous of them all.

(End of ‘Lust’)

[narcoticwriter]

Crisis

A mild inconvenience.

Coffee spills on your shirt before you have to go to work. Your cat shed an obscene amount of fur and you just now noticed. Your kid broke something that can be replaced fairly easily but made a huge mess.

An unseen rendering in your day-to-day life with things that could be easily taken care of with a cool head and a mildly positive outlook on life.

Then you have the not-so-mild inconveniences.

A friend stops talking to you. You’re wounded in some capacity just before your first performance or your first game. You failed that one test and now you spiral into a rabbit hole of despair.

These things will leave an imprint on you, surely, but the wounds dealt to you will heal in due time and with due care.

Then there are events that the word ‘inconvenience’ likes to understate.

Your peers silently ridicule you for the sole reason that you happen to exist in a certain way. The people you thought cared for you have shown their true nature and have abandoned you. The entirety of the social world seems to want you to disappear, and at some point, you do as well. A close friend loses someone they love. You lose something and you don’t quite know what that means.

These tend to stick with you for a great deal of your life until you decide what to do with them.

Then you have your worldly reorderings.

Your carefully concocted plans for going awry in all of the horribly wrong ways it could. Your mother, father, sister, brother, lover dies and you are left with nothing but the overwhelming agony of knowing that that person will never return. You come to the realization that what you thought you wanted isn’t what you wanted at all. You reason out that you have been betrayed by someone you thought you cared for.

This reordering causes everything to stop.

This event will break you down. This event will destroy you and the aftershocks will obliterate what is left. Not only will you be nothing but dust and remains, but you will be taken by this thing and molded into what you will become after this great calamity.

Of course, we have to account for the events that exist out of our sphere of living as well.

Who are we to control anything when we lose it all overnight?

What can we do when the living world is crashing and burning around us?

Why do we insist on blinding ourselves to the course, only to be surprised that it does as was meant to?

Where can we go to be assured? Where can we go to be comforted when there is none to be found?

How we rage against a series of events that wrought calamity after calamity in our quiet lives!

How we despair when you do as you’re told only to be informed it was wrong!

How the fiery indignation we must feel courses through our veins when the very world we live in throws us into upheaval!

When will we learn that to stay static and unaware only leads us to the accursed crisis?

(End of ‘Crisis’)