#napakagago

[blob-monster]

Nadiagnosed tatay ko ng rhinitis. Ban daw aso ko sa bahay nya sa province kasi papatayin daw sya ng shed fur. Yun talaga ung papatay sa kanya, di ung paninigarilyo nya since teenager sya. Ok.

[bananarabbid]

waking up to see warrior nun being cancelled just ruined my whole day, week, month, year

[quantumspacetime]

12:00 pm | February 12, 2023

hey

i saw a guy i matched with on tinder last last year at a local starbucks yesterday. we exchanged a few glances, but i didn’t approach him as we’ve never had a decent conversation before, just hellos and kumustahan.

later that evening, i received a friend request from him on facebook and a message saying, “hello, you’re cute pala in person”.

as much as it flatters me that he thought i was cute in person, napaisip ako… hindi kaya ako cute sa pictures kaya di nagpush yung conversation namin? lol napakagago

[codename-ashlie]

Tanginang yan. Nagscoreshare sakin via PM tas di man lang sineseen yong reply ko. Napakagago talaga 🥹

[jemwhomstdve]

Attending a thousand funerals of your loved ones

When I was younger, I was very argumentative. I made sure to be fair and square with everyone as I don't want to be surrounded by people with twisted mindsets. My friends knew that. I would rather use logic and win the argument [and lose people] than to give way on what they feel; as long as they are wrong, the discussion goes on. But now that I'm older, I have a different set of priorities.

Earlier this week, my long-term friends [S, D] and I had a clash. [I messaged as I was in a little shock about the news I saw and needed someone to talk to. I had thoughts about [R] and I kind of need someone to lean on because, despite being happy for his engagement, I thought of my younger self who perceived [R] as the one but turns out, he was not. Lots of questions popped out in my mind, because other than two of the men I've met along the way got engaged/married, I realized that all (yep, 100%) men I've been with always come back with regrets after leaving.] I believe, everyone was unstable at the moment so I gave way to vent out on what I was originally grieving about because I understood that maybe he was in a greater pain. Maybe he needed [S] and I to emotionally attend to him first. Turns out he was still in pain of what he did to me years ago. He told me he deceived me and he was so fed up by the fact that I am still blindsided; and the facts that I know, which he fed me for years, is not the whole truth. It wasn't me whose the problem but him. I suppose our friend, [S], knew it already because he was asking for support from him. [S] told us that we should not bring up the past anymore. And that's what I felt too because I couldn't care less about it anymore as that certain argument has been closed for years now. (And it makes me so sad that [S] is getting caught up between us when in fact, he shouldn't be stressed about this anymore.) Whatever happened in the past, I made sure to leave it there as I chose to forgive him and continue the friendship we have. I moved past it, but turns out, he's still there. It's still at the back of his mind. I think it's the guilt that eats him up until this day.

[D]: Well, truth ang importante sa akin. Believe what you want to believe. To each their own.

[J]: Important din truth sakin and that includes my side of story too.

[D]: Your side of story about MY own feelings. Ok.

[J]: And you're accountable too on what u did tho--

[D]: I'm not refuting that. Never 'kong sinabi na tama ako--

[J]: So if all that ain't true pala, can we say that [redacted]?

[D]: Oo? Mali ba? Oo. And I take accountability for that. I never said I was not accountable.

[J]: Oh so ba't ka nakikipag-away?

[D]: Hindi ako nakikipag-away. Kalmado pa ako nito.

[J]: Hahaha parang ikaw pa na-gago eh.

[D]: Hindi ah.

[J]: When kung titignan sa whole truth ikaw yung [redacted].

[S]: Mapang-asar lang talaga yung pagsabi kaya parang nang-aaway.

[D]: Ako nga. I'm not proud of it. Kaya I'm sorry and I'm trying to do better.

[J]: Alam mo [D] sa'ting dalawa ako dapat yung galit--

[D]: Eh hindi naman ako galit.

[J]: Pero I don't even count it.

[D]: Bakit naman? Go, magalit ka kasi valid.

[J]: Well, fuck u. You tryna stir everybody when sa'ting lahat dito ikaw naman yung namumutangina simula pa lang.

[D]: Sorry, gago talaga.

[J]: Wala na nga pake yung tao and hindi na kinakalkal yung past but you tryna make me bleed? Oh my god, napakagago mo.

[D]: I'm not trying to make you bleed.

[J]: Kasi it's in the past. I'm too old for that. I don't wanna live full of pain and hate. I don't want that.

[D]: I'm not trying to stir anything. Obviously hindi pa natatapos talaga 'yong isyu. I'm trying to tell you the truth because it will set us free. And I thought you would appreciate honesty.

[J]: Anong isyu? My god.

[D]: Wala pala. Ok.

[J]: Isyu na gago ka?

[D]: Sorry, my bad.

[J]: Matagal na kitang pinatawad. Because that's what friends do.

[D]: No, mali ka ng pagkakaintindi ng friends.

[J]: I chose to stay friends because decision 'ko.

[D]: Paano mo ako papatawarin kung hindi mo alam mali 'ko. Kaya sinasabi ko side ko.

[J]: Alam 'ko yung mali mo matagal na. Ano bang akala mo sakin tanga?

[D]: Hindi. I know you as a smart, independent, politically correct woman. Never kitang tinignan ng masama. And I thank you for helping me correct my political inclinations. Kaya ko nga sinasabi sa'yo 'yong totoo kasi deserve mo.

[J]: Hindi ko talaga alam anong pinagmumulan nito. Okay, sige, so the fact is [redacted]. Okay. Ano next, [D]? Anong direction nakikita mo sa convo na 'to? Anong goal?

[S]: Clarity.

[D]: Na properly mag-apologize sa'yo. Na totoong magkaayos tayo.

[J]: Ah so bothered ka? Ayun yung point.

[D]: Hindi naman. Nagulat lang ako na akala mo bumalik ako when in reality na hindi.

[J]: Bumalik ka as friend naman tho. That's a fact.

[D]: True.

[J]: That u cannot deny. Kasi ako rin naman bumalik as a friend.

[D]: And I love you for that.

[J]: I chose to stay friends because decision 'ko.

[D]: Na hinayaan mo ako bumalik kasi true friendship naman nabuo natin. At hindi ako natatakot na makipag-away sa'yo kasi I know we have something special as friends. Pero hindi as your [redacted].

[J]: Oh my god, never assume unless said!!

[D]: My bad.

[J]: Rule naman yon.

[D]: Mali 'ko.

[J]: (List the name of the people who came back and attached a summary of each) At puta the list can go on. Lahat kasi yan sila with words attached to work things out!!

You see, even though he didn't say it years prior, I already knew it. I am not a fool. I just made peace with the confusion and disrespect because if I want to keep a loved one in my life, I knew I had to attend to multiple deaths of who they are. That (series of) mistake/s he made in the past, I already let it go. There were years that we did not even talk to each other because we cannot co-exist as everything was almost impossible to fall in the right place. (During those years, [S] hangs out with us separately because that guy, is fucking solid (despite him calling me narcissistic earlier in this conversation because I said men always come back after they leave). He may not know this but I am really thankful he stayed through the years even if [D] and I are such a pain in the ass. It's like he chose us to be his pain in the ass for his entire lifetime. And I gotta say, I chose them too.) I forgave him even he never knew that. Even if I didn't receive any apology from him (for years). Afterall, he was confused of what he felt as he hasn't figured out who he was before. It was the price we both had to pay as he seek out his own individuality. And I don't take it against him, because the love I have for them both [S, D] is unconditional. [Yep, even if I am being consistently misdiagnosed in this friend group despite going to therapy (trust me, I try my best to stop blurting out edgy jokes)] I have faith that we can make it through our entire lifetime as we are willing to thug it out together. Even if it means that I have to attend to a thousand funerals of my loved ones. And I know they're doing the same thing too, as they realized the long death of the stubborn Jemelee who focused more on winning her arguments than keeping her people (as I have been willing to play a fool just not to lose anyone this year).

Though for now, I am withdrawing from them as they triggered my abandonment spot since all I wanted was a safe space to vent out and be dramatic on my realizations but instead of being comforted and understood, I got further hurt and left with more questions unanswered.

[rnequinn]

Ang sabi ko, “Putangina.”

...ang sabi ko pa, “Hindi.” pero putangina, nadala ako sa mga ngiti. tanginang ngiti ‘yan, bakit ang ganda? tanginang ngiti ‘yan, bakit kailangan kong madala?

ang sabi ko pa, “Wala akong pake.” pero putangina, umiiyak ako gabi-gabi. tanginang ‘yan, bakit ba ang sakit? tanginang ‘yan, bakit ba kailangan mong manakit?

ang sabi ko pa, “Hindi, kaya ko ‘to.” pero putangina, parang gusto ko na lang sumuko. tangina mo naman, bakit napakagago mo? tangina talaga, bakit nga ba kailangang mapamahal ako sa’yo?

-- LMRB, 12172019

[siemsayko]

Hi, I would like to know your thoughts.

I was raped by 2 men last year, cousins sila and months after lang nag-sink in sa akin ang nangyari. Nagkikita kami before ni 1st guy dahil kami talaga nag-uusap not until yayain ako mag-inom noong dalawa. After that, I met a guy, classmates kami, we became partners but nalaman ko na ginawa lang pala akong kabit and ibinabalik niya sa akin na bakit doon sa dalawa mabait pa ako— na bakit nagawa ko pa na kausapin pareho lalo yung isa. Honestly noong nalaman ko na niloko niya ako gusto kong gumati by talking don sa pinsan pero hindi ako nagpapakita at hindi ko tinutuloy. Me and my ex got a baby pero hindi na kami okay dahil sa pabalik balik niya na pagsasabi noong "rape" at sa galit ko sa kanya dahil malala ginawa niya sa amin. Gusto kong malaman na mali ba na sinusubukan ko na kalimutan yung nangyari sa akin at dini-dismiss ang nangyari sa akin pero mas galit ang namumutawi dahil sa ex ko?

Sorry medyo vague.

First of all, sorry for experiencing that. I’m not quite sure how you dealt with it after that ganap pero sana you’re doing okay. If not, please talk to anyone para sana mafeel at ease ka kahit papano.

Secondly, napakagago niyang ex mo. Normal na galit ang mamutawi sayo pero I don’t think necessary pa ang revenge at the moment. My advise is, leave that person. If you could handle your baby on your own, leave him.

Then, talk to these two guys and tell them that you knew what they did to you and they should feel ashamed. Masyado ka nawala yung focus mo because dumating yung ex mo, but doesn’t mean they can get away with it.

[ara-24]

August 28th, Monday

hay putang ina. kahapon bago umuwi, tumawag yung tita ko at sinabing nilooban nga raw yung bahay namin.

nasa rizal kasi kami ng pamilya ko this weekend, overnight. nakawala daw yung pusa namin, nalaman nila kasi nag-ingay daw sa labas kaya naman pinapasok nila.

buti na lang din nasilip nila bahay namin dahil nakabukas daw ang gate. di daw nila alam kung nasa loob pa yung tarantadong magnanakaw kaya sinabi ko i-lock na lang muna kung may padlock at hintayin makauwi sila mama.

grabe, habang nasa uv, kinabahan ako. inisip ko kung ano ba yung pwedeng makuha nung magnanakaw. buti na lang dala lahat nila yung mga phones and laptop kahapon.

pagdating nila sa bahay, nawawala na yung padlock ng gate at yung pinto, pinuwersang buksan. dahil pinatay ni papa yung breaker at hindi nila siguro alam dahil tanga sila, sobrang dilim sa loob ng bahay. yung isang kwarto lang na puro tambak yung nakalkal nila nang husto.

tangina, nakakagalit. napakagago ng gumawa nun buti na lang walang nawala at wala silang nakuha.

gusto na namin umalis dun as soon as possible. napakawalang hiya ng mga tao dun.

nakakapagtaka lang dahil sa hirap buksan ng pinto, malamang 30 mins niyang sinusubukan buksan yon at ni isa sa mga gamit na nasa sala, walang kinuha. hindi ko alam, siguro mga maliliit na gadgets ang hinahanap at pera na madaling ilabas ng bahay ang gusto nila makuha dahil yung ibang appliances masyadong malaki na para iparada sa eskinita at siguradong may makakakita.

putangina gusto ko na lumipat sa rizal agad agad tanginang buhay.

[waltangina]

What the ever loving tangina

t(ÒwÓ t)

[taaaaangi]

Wag pilitin ang ayaw kasi ang ending ikaw pa ang mapapasama.

[lokongnakamovebon]

Mas pinilipiling mahalin ang iba kesa sa sarili.

[jeuz]

Tangina naunahan lang sa hero nagpafeed amputa tapos inaway pa mga kasama ni wala ambag sa team, nangubos ng farm, minumura kami na gusto manalo siya porket nakuha lang yung lesley niya aba nagpatalo, hayop! Pakabobo! Sinabi ko ng wag sila mag away tuloy pa rin si tanga! Talo tuloy mga tanginang yan! Daming bobo puta! Badtrip na nga ako bago mag game bwiset pa mga nakakasama!

[codename-ashlie]

“sige sama ako”

TF??? Ano ba??? Napakagago mo, Zander. Go to hell with you and your mixed signals.

[notababy-babygirl]

NAPAKAGAGO.

[makatang-iska]

ang galing mong dumurog ng puso,

dadating ka pero bigla ding maglalaho.

nasisiyahan ka ba sa tuwing may umiiyak nang dahil sa iyo?

bakit ba sadyang napakagago mo?

hindi ka ba natatakot na babalik sa iyo lahat ng sakit na ipinaranas mo?

masyado na bang naging bato ang puso mo?

~ rant

[magandangdisexy]

mga chat ng chat amp0tah tas kasama jowa sa dp? hahahahaha walanya napakagago