#nah i blame my dad for my delusions

[skitskatdacat63]

MOTHERFUCKER MY FLIGHT IS ON THURSDAY 😭😭😭😭

Guys I get there at like noon or so, do you think it is still possible???????????????

I know its just an application but like even the possibility is going to make me faint 🫠

And there's also an application for a paddock tour, what if I died, what if I fucking died, what if I exploded!?!?!?!?

[subtlesolitude-tailoredtaste]

I can’t believe it’s come to this holy fucking shit anti natalist till I die and meet my aborted bro and or sis cause mom’s did it twice just not the time it mattered shoutout to the pop of all three fetusss procreated from village bitches and bitchassvillageniggas x y loser ass chromosomes of i hear Ethiopia or cndoodns tribe jungle bull shit i will donate money I will raise funds to bomb thee shit out of their godforsaken birthplace and now the attempt to further emesh me nooooooooe I’d rather and very well may end up slitting myself with green yellow red embroided knife my mom and dad shat on when they were forced to Marry each other and have a kid (killed kids not included (it’s okay my mother is apparently pro life this whole time who knew ahhhh I wish I did I would’ve stayed my ass away and in nyc freeeee)) slit myself from vagina slit to the slit of my throat I’d rather hack off my limbs and chuck them at my mother and father spill my guts and uterus at their goddam mother father fucking feet goddamn them for giving birth to me goddamn their whole family tree

FUCKKKK GIVE USUSUS MEEEEEEEE FREEEEE FROM THIS FUCKED UP FUCKERY

[rereupie]

thinking about harbinger diluc

- I will go through: different characterization, general look, different timeline, and other charas

Harbingers has two elements but honestly I can’t see diluc using any element other than pyro… so like he uses pyro as the last option and mainly dark power (black purple kinda thing hhh). But why pyro last option?

I will interrupt on my way as diluc has heavy self hatred because he couldn’t save his father. But also blames everyone since “my dad was a good man, why none of you were good to him?” (Crepus isn’t a good man but diluc is still in denial)

Be left kaeya behind and didn’t take him with him to snehnaya and didn’t allow him to the fatui because he knows that this place isn’t good for anyone. But he is willing to do everything for revenge.

—crepus died from the heavy impact of the delusion, ISNT diluc supposed to hate the fatui?

This. Will. Be. A. Long. Point: I like to believe that crepus wasn’t THAT TERRIBLE to diluc. I mean he was emotional abuser when it came to his business but out that? Nah. Typical Rich father haha thing (hhh) so he shaped the perfect father and man of himself on diluc mind. So he can’t see his father as someone who begged for god’s favor and bless (vision). So instead he believed that “my dad followed the path of the tsartsia so I will accomplish his wish and come after her” deep down he knows this is wrong & false but with the rest of the harbingers encouraging this idea to keep his loyalty but I don’t think the tsartsia would ever make the effort of keeping anyone. But she likes the strong and tough mentality diluc has

Diluc realtionship with the tsartsia

I don’t see him as someone who can hold much respect for anyone. Especially that he was the first class family in mondstant so it’s new to him to find someone socially higher than him. But with the incident of his father he became full of rage, so he is a little harsh with his words. And especially for the tsartsia why didn’t you protect and warn my father? Like that which made the tsartsia interested a little in him. Not deeply but sees him as the funny angry little dude

What if he went too far with her?

I believe she will use psychological torture. Like creating a void where only his father is there. A disappointed one which is scares diluc the most. A hurt kaeya

Kaeya and his past

I like to believe that he found out this information by the tsartsia herself or in a dwell with a mage and not kaeya himself. But one day he confronted kaeya in unclear way “I will always come to you, you are always forgiven in my heart. No matter what you do or hide. Not because I’m no better than you, but because you are the only one I have and need” and kaeya as smart as he is knew what was behind these words and eased his heart

Diluc X rest of the harbingers

Il dottore: although diluc is more of a protector but he likes how he feels around il dottore. He likes his careless and numb nature. As harsh he is yet it makes diluc’s worries feel like little issues. His idc aura (hhh) makes things look small and silly. So it became a habit to go to dottore whenever he feels overwhelmed. At first it annoyed dottore. But with the time it became usual

La Signora: she probably see herself in him, which made her huge ego and anger die whenever she’s with him. She won’t go far enough to be worried over him THATS for sure, but will try and be as helpful as possible. Side note: she may feel kind of annoyed by the fact that diluc didn’t see Barbatos as the blamed one. She probably like diluc fashion taste and discuss small chats with him about such things. And diluc only chit chat with her

Childe (tartaglia): GRRRHHH yes thats how flatly it is. But with the time. Worth @ing that he is the nearest one to his age. I wont say he felt close, since I don’t see diluc as someone who needs to feel belonged to feel secure. But I’m sure taru made the effort into speaking to him. Generally I think they are close because childe still has his human nature; which made him feel pity for diluc’s loneliness especially the brotherhood (if you see kaeluc as bros ofc) thing. Childe who is a family man never felt loneliness or individuality in his life (but the abyss hh) so he tries to make diluc feel more involved

Scaramouche: I believe he also projects as much as signora. But I think he is used to tartaglia so when diluc. A quite lonely man did not fire up with him or made a fuss (I believe he is the type to walk by/pass whenever scara goes crazy. Or just dead eyes) so it made him Like “gotta collect my self up” thing. I also believe scara and taru both agreed to diluc beauty.

Little incident

< please keep in mind my English suck and I don’t know how to write for shit >

I like to think of the image fighting albedo in the night. It started when diluc asked albedo (since he is the only one awake at the late night) where kaeya is. But albedo didn’t believe diluc still had kindness in his heart and didn’t risk the life of the Calvary captain. So he refused and here started the fight I just want to see him! Diluc never felt himself unwanted and dangerous as much as now. And albedo didn’t see the point of making the effort of listening to traitor. Out of no where ice walls separated the two. And it was very expected from who it is, but there was one unexpected thing..no! A person. Kaeya left me, kaeya loved someone and left me. It was the woman behind well look who we have here! what a good night news. Kaeya said with a bitter smile. Not because he wasn’t happy to see him. But because of how diluc looked, dangerous, scary.. different . And this was not what he used to see. Kaeya! Diluc ran to him, barely carrying his body. Catching himself from falling with every step. I wanted to see you. His eyes, wasn’t as bright as it used to be. Still burning but from hatred. His face was broken, his eyes was looking for security, they were looking for kaeya’s presence. Well, here I am. His hands on diluc shoulders. He too, was hurt. Not because of diluc.. surely not him. Can I he gulped, maybe hiding his tears? Can I stay with you tonight that wasn’t what kaeya expected. I’m tired he looked tired, he sounded tired. So was kaeya. Both of them have always been so tired of multiple causes and reasons. Both of them share one and it is guilt. Consistent guilt. Yes you can

——> I will draw this later

[jiikyu]

Taste of Marigolds In Bloom

Herb of the Sun — Or Marigold was often used during the Middle Ages as a love charm. Carrying one of these brightly colored flowers was thought to bring love. Though be warned for they are also poisonous. Chapter V. It’s becoming painfully clear you find comfort in the wrong things. Like the smell of the ocean. A smile that’s far too blinding. In the way calloused hands always seem to find their way back to you. Despite everything — Can you really be blamed for falling? ∘◦ ✿ ◦∘ All characters are 18+ Yandere!Mirio x Fem!Reader(AΩβ) Y/N = Your Name F/N = Your Full Name E/C = Eye Color H/C = Hair Color Warnings: Yandere / Unhealthy Behavior / Delusions / Angst / Possessiveness / Manipulation / Breaking & Entering, tho we don’t really elaborate on it this chapter? First Chapter Here❦ Previous Chapter Here❦ Next Chapter In Progress... Taglist. @missyredbean @yandere-romanticism

∘◦ ✿ ◦∘ You’re fading or — At least that’s what you’re starting to suspect. Time seemingly has escaped you. Who knows how much time has passed with you holding of the bathrooms door handle. The metal resting loosely against your skin is now warm from the shared contact and it’s beyond disappointing because — It’s the farthest you’ve been able to will yourself. Motionless you find yourself stuck at standstill. You hate it. You hate the invisible thing stopping you from opening the door, like you would have if it were any other day. It’s not the dry clothes that stick uncomfortably to your skin or the wet droplets coldly clinging to you. Something familiar yet foreign. Settled in the pit of your being, it claws and begs you not to abandon the shelter these thin walls provide. You know what’s taken hold of you and god, does that make it so much worse. You just want it gone. But, how do you kill fear? There is no reason for your hands to be clammy or for the hairs on the back of your neck to stand raised. All you’re doing is making the situation worse, for yourself and — For Mirio. He’s probably worried. Plus, it’s not like you can stay locked away forever. Right? Only when you’re able finally gulp down the passing mania and turn the handle do you realize that you’re alone. Light pours from behind you, spilling into the empty hall. Your E/C eyes take a moment to adjust but it’s clear that Mirio is nowhere in sight. How long had it been? The stillness is broken by the familiar ding of your microwave from the kitchen. “Just in time Y/N!” And just like that the shame eating away at you disappears as quickly as it appeared, lulled into submission by the voice calling out to you. It should probably frighten you. How fast your troubles seem to melt away with the sound of his voice. Leaving the bathroom you forget the jacket still hanging from the tubs edge. Your footsteps are muffled by the carpet underneath, it’s then that you notice the sweet scent dusting the air. You follow the faintest hints of sugar and — milk? Rounding the corner you spot the familiar silhouette standing under fluorescent white light. And it’s hard to miss just how comfortable he appears to be in your kitchen. The jug of milk has been removed from the fridge, garnished with paper towels littering the back counter and a lone spoon sitting forgotten... Oh and one of the cupboard doors has been left hanging wide open. You’re really not sure what he’s done to cause such chaos. The last thing you notice are the two steaming cups, filled to the brim. It’s so faint but, you swear it smells like honey — “Sweetheart I don’t know how you do it!” And suddenly all the thoughts buzzing around your head just stop. A total short-circuit. He just called you Sweetheart. And the bastard doesn’t even bat an eyelash, he just lets it slip past his teeth without any repercussions. Though, if you’re being honest — You’re not even sure Mirio realizes he’s said it. It’s fine, really, it’s not that big of a deal. There are plenty of people around the world that use nicknames. Something as simple as a title of endearment shouldn’t have your heart doing backflips and cartwheels. But it does. You’re absolutely screwed. “There’s barely enough room in here for one person!” His words have you more than a little confused. To demonstrate what exactly he means he lifts his arms in the air. From one hand to the other he practically touches the walls that represent the beginning and end of the kitchen. “See, it’s no good!” Huh. You suppose Mirio’s right in some sense of the word. But it’s him that makes the space feel small. “Well...” You can’t help but chuckle between words at the man T posing in your kitchen. “I guess for you it might be a bit much.” “Nah I think I’m onto something. You’ll just have to move in with me!” It’s hard to tell sometimes when Mirios joking because he always wears a wide grin. But there’s no way it’s a serious offer. Maybe your missing the point, but you don’t see the problem at hand. Sure your dorm might not be as uh — spacious — as the ones meant for rising star heros. But you’re nothing if not appreciative, the space had came with all the basic necessities and for that you couldn’t be more grateful. You’re lucky enough to even have the opportunity of sleeping under the roof of your dream school. “Now you’re pushing it.” Your tone is lighthearted. “My place isn’t that bad.” Though your smile brings warmth to his little heart the moment is soured. He cannot help but stare at the puffiness just under your eyes, from where tears had fallen and stained. A reminder that has the blond to biting into the meat of his cheek. Mirio would be lying if he said felt comfortable with your living situation. It’s far too small — Let alone for the both of you. But most importantly, he couldn’t help but notice the lack of heavy bolts on the front door. He doesn’t like it one bit. Maybe it’s just the itch of anxiety from what happened but he’d much rather see you someplace safer. Somewhere you weren’t forced to be alone, preferably someplace he could stay by your side. Like his dorm. “What’d you make?” Freed from his thoughts it takes Mirio a second to process the question, his eyes follow your stare — The two cups cooling on the counter, the steam vanishing as it rises. He’d almost forgotten! “Oh! It’s honey milk.” Suddenly one of the cups is pushed across the smooth counter surface, till it sits within your reach. “My dad used to make it for me when I was a kid, usually when I was upset or had a bad day.” His smiles softens when he ends with. “I thought you might like it.” What he can’t tell you is that he made it in desperation. A distraction from what he’d done. “Thank you.” Blue eyes watch your fingers wrap around the heated smooth surface of the ceramic. “Really, it means a lot.” He can’t help but stare as your lips part to take the first sip. “Anything for you.” Those words are your wake up call. You’d got caught up in his antics... Are you really that weak around him? Because, now you understand there’s a deeper promise there. One you almost wish had remained in the dark. Almost. “If you want we can watch a movie, or —“ “I think.” You stare into the swirl of milk and honey before continuing. “Maybe we should sit and... Talk about what happened.” Your words always seem to have an effect on him because his pulse begins to race. It’s fear. “Yeah.” ∘◦ ✿ ◦∘ You’re in trouble. Even with the suppressants dulling your senses they’re not strong enough to block the scent of seashore and sandalwood now permeating the walls. Not strong enough to hide the fact that your dorm is already starting to smell like Mirio. If people knew you allowed an Alpha into your home, let alone an unmated one, you’re reputation would tarnished. You know this, it’s been drilled into your head since presenting as an Omega, but... It’s Mirio Togata that’s seated next to you in your kitchen. The one exception — Or at least that’s what you hope. The cheap material of the barstool digs into your back and there’s a constant drumming of fingers against the laminate countertop, a harmony of tension. The thing that held you captive in the bathroom is back and whispering in your ear. It doesn’t use words, no, instead you’re haunted by awful unintelligible garble. Of blood filled lungs struggling for air. This is a bad idea. You can already feel your mouth becoming dry, but there’s no going back — “What happened during the fight?” It’s the one question that could’ve caught Mirio off guard, and his smile falters, if only for a split second. “Oh you mean —“ A hand rubs the skin of his neck sheepishly, as if you caught him redhanded in the cookie jar. “I guess I did go a little overboard on that guy, didn’t I?” He says half jokingly, he wants so badly to be able to sweep the whole thing under the rug. A little overboard? “But don’t worry! From here on out I’ll make sure no one ever hurts you.” Even without his quirk, he’ll manage. “I promise.” Even if it means he has to get his hands dirty. He reaches an arm to wrap around your shoulder, so you know your hero will always be there for you and — You flinch at the touch. ... Mirio blinks a few times because he’s not sure what happened. You hadn’t meant to flinch. You really hadn’t meant it. But it’s too late. It’s clear as day, he sees it in your eyes. And you know it when his smile begins to fall, it’s plummeting. There’s fear in your eyes. Somewhere in your subconscious you must’ve been praying. Stupid, so incredibly stupid. Praying that you were strong enough to hide it from him. And it makes what comes next all the worse. “Wait you’re —“ Blond brows knit together, still grasping the change in atmosphere. “You’re not afraid of me... Are you?” There it is. The air is suddenly tens times heavier, like breathing through a straw. Your throats so dry you’re not even sure you have the ability to speak. When Mirios only answer is deafening silence does he become hyper aware of the situation. You literally see the moment it clicks. It’s in the way his mouth opens and closes in disbelief, in the way his blue eyes widen in realization. It’s like watching an incoming car crash in slow motion , you know it’s going to be horrible but there’s nothing to stop it. You have to tear your eyes away before the inevitable collision and when you do... Mirios panic truly sets in. He had been afraid of you to thinking less of him. But never in a million years did he think that you might see him as a potential threat. This is a nightmare. He’s sweating bullets. “Sunshine I know — I know I messed up.” Another nickname. “I never meant to scare you. I’m sorry — I don’t know what took over, you know I never would have let it go that far but the guy, he —“ Each word more unsteady than the last, more desperate, because you won’t even look at him. And it’s killing him. He can’t take it anymore. Mirios scarred hands find your shoulders, slowly — Like you might crumble away from the touch but this time you don’t recoil from the fingers pressing into the material of your shirt. “Will you please look at me Darling?” Having averted your eyes you don’t bare witness to the pain carving his face but god, do you hear it. It’s absolutely heart wrenching. And despite it all, despite having watched him beat a man within an inch of his life, the last thing you want is to hurt Mirio. So you give in. And you look up to see a man on the edge. It’s worse than you imagined. You see the wild storm of blue, one that could easily ravage everything within its reach. “This is all some sort of misunderstanding right? I was just protecting you that’s all, you know I would never hurt you.” One of his hands has left your shoulder to snake its way to cup your face, thumb stroking languidly over the cherub of your cheek. Desperate for contact, for anything he can get from you. “Please just — Say that you’ll forgive me.” Everything. 

From the way Mirios voices wobbles weakly to the way he looks at you with desperation. It’s enough to crush every last bit of reason within you.

You break. This is the man that little voice inside your head screamed and begged you to stay away from? The man who lost everything to save a little girl from some madman? The man who rescued you and is now pleading for forgiveness in your kitchen? That man? Life is cruel. You’re finally able to find your voice. “Mirio. What you did was horrible —“ His heart just about stops beating right there. It hurts. Having his name associated with something so terrible in your eyes, even if to him it was something he’d done out of devotion... It’s a stab to the gut. “And despite everything.” Is this how it ends? You’re going to break up with him. “I — I can’t find it in myself to be upset with you.” Those words leave your lips and Mirio can finally breath. The blond hadn’t even realized he’d been holding his breath till now, the lack of oxygen straining his lungs. But you’re not done yet — “I’ve never met a person quite like you. You are the sweetest, definitely a little dense.” By the end your lips have started to curl upwards, it just comes naturally. “What I’m trying to say is that — I still care about you, and this isn’t the end —“ It’s like the worlds gone silent, your words are going in one ear and out the other. All he knows is that. You’re here. You’re smiling. And you’re not leaving him. It’s all Mirio needs to understand. The swell of emotions is just too much for him. It just sort of bursts out. “Though, you’re —“ “I love you.” ... The last — What? Six hours of your life have been nothing but a rollercoaster, one you’d like to get off of now. You don’t need a mirror to know you’re wearing the most wide-eyed expression of your entire life. But you couldn’t care less, because you’re far too busy replaying those magic words over and over in your head. You’re not sure you heard right. Maybe your skull was smashed against the pavement at some point during the fight and this is all some weird fever dream. That’s right. You’re probably in some hospital with IVs hooked to you. “Mirio —“ Pinching your inner arm before continuing, it’s almost concerning when the tinge of pain feels real. Very real... And you’ll be damned if you can’t find the reason for the sudden lack of common sense in the room. “Did you hit your head?” “I — What no? Y/N I’m being completely serious here.” “Are you sure? M-maybe you should you lie down, just incase?” You’re starting to panic because — Dear god, what if he needs medical attention and he’s here because of your own problems? As if reading your mind he understands. His heart skips and stutters because it’s him you’re worried about. He hasn’t lost you yet. And as much as he would love to tease you about how cute you are — He’s having none of it, because he just admitted his true feelings and your too worried about a stupid concussion! Suddenly he’s no longer seated next to you but standing and... He’s taking a few steps back? Once far enough away he outstretches his arms forward so that his thumbs mirror each other. “Could someone with a concussion do this?” In one swift motion his hands are planted to the floor with both legs kicked to a point in the air. A handstand. “One, two, three —“ Of course, nothing can be easy when it comes to Mirio. Show off. “— Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen and twenty!” Twenty seconds. Your jaw would’ve hit the floor if it were physically possible. It’s impressive. More than that. “I can go longer if you want.” When he hops back to stand on his own two feet the floor trembles. “But, I’m not sure you want to watch me do a handstand all night.” He’s smiling and laughing. It makes you feel small and irrational, that you’ve been overthinking everything. That you’ve made something out of nothing. The panic starts to settle, like a layer of soot waiting for its next opportunity to suffocate. But you gotta ask one last time. For your own sanity. “So... You’re really okay?” If he’s fine then that would mean — “Never been better! Because — Here, let me say it again.“ He says stepping closer, like there’s a magnet between the two of you, he closes the gap. Before you know it large hands find yours, with the outmost care. You can only describe it as being bathed in sunlight, warm and glowing, your digits are dwarfed in Mirios own. It’s slower this time, softer. “I love you.” Has your heart ever flown this high before? “It doesn’t matter whether you believe me or not but, you’re the only person that’s made me feel this way — The only one for me.” You know there’s no way for you to come down unscathed. “I was being serious earlier you know? That... We could move in together.” His thumb maps the tiny hills of your knuckles. “So, won’t you please consider moving in with me?” Really now, it’s got to be one of the most ridiculous things you’ve be asked in a while. Hadn’t you only just admitted your feelings a few hours ago? Doesn’t he care what others will think? Why are you even entertaining the idea? Even as the list continues to grow, reasons on it’s unrealistic, why — Sitting perched atop the stool your feet dangle, support-less. You’re helpless because those blue irises are looking down upon you like your the only one in the world. It’s too much. “I —“ Why won’t the butterflies stop swarming you? “I need to sleep on this Mirio — This. It’s just a lot.” You’re certain now, now more than ever before. You’re in far deeper than you ever could have bargained for. Because you still haven’t said no yet. “Of course!” Voice soft and lighthearted, Mirios hands give yours a squeeze. Whether in reassurance or in fear of letting go he doesn’t know anymore. “Take all the time you need.” ∘◦ ✿ ◦∘ The night ends with you helping bandage-up Mirios knuckles. Rubbing alcohol, cotton balls and Hello Kitty bandaids. The ugly futon you found at a garage sale and a few spare blankets are included in the five star Hotel experience. The springs groan back to life when Mirio unfolds the furniture. You don’t know how long you stand in the doorframe of your bedroom, there’s just so much — Why’d he have to pile everything on you at once! You just need time, that’s all. Time to think. Once you get your head out of the clouds you’ll be able to let him down gently, because it’s a childish idea after all. One you’d never agree too. Right? And maybe if you hadn’t succumbed to a night of stress you wouldn’t have failed to notice the bottle of pills missing from your nightstand. ∘◦ ✿ ◦∘ At some point sleep overtook you in your exhaustion, because your phone now reads 10:12AM. After laying in bed for an extra twenty minutes you finally sit up and only when your feet touch floor are you startled fully awake. Something touched your left foot, and it rattled at you. Your eyes adjust enough for you to see the culprit, it’s your bottle of suppressants. They must have rolled off your nightstand while you were out. It’s quiet. If you didn’t know any better you would say it felt like any other regular morning, besides the lingering fatigue. That’s why when you open your bedroom door it takes you by surprise, the lumpy, vaguely looking human shape on the futon. Mirios sleeping form barely fits the ancient pullout. One of his arms hangs off the side with his fingers resting against the floor. Only with the glow of the television are you able to make out his sleeping face. Whatever miraculous hair gel he buys no longer keeps the mess of blond together, bangs of gold hang over his soft features. A normal persons heart probably wouldn’t flutter at something so simple. From under the blanket peeks the same t-shirt he’s been wearing for at least a day now. The same one you cried into. In a few days the scent of calming sea waves and citrus will fade. And you’ll be all that’s left behind. It’s a realization that leaves you feeling, empty. You find the more time spent mulling over the situation the blurrier everything becomes. It doesn’t matter how hard you try to convince yourself, no matter how many hours you spend staring at your ceiling in the dark of your bedroom — It won’t change the way your heart beats wildly whenever you’re around him. You can’t help but wonder. Is it really such a bad idea? 

And you know you’re a terrible person because the curve of your lips is real as you gently place your hand on his shoulder. There are roots that have already taken hold of you long ago. 

[lightningbugqueensfics]

Real Family

Destiel

From the prompt “Cas beating the crap out of john winchester for causing dean so much trauma”(thanks @beautifulsaladkitten !)

*********

When John Winchester comes back from the dead, we get a better look into the harm he inflicted on Dean as a child. Castiel is a good boyfriend.

tw: Homophobic slurs and abuse

Ao3 Link

Dean woke to pounding on the front door. He had chosen this room specifically because it was so close to the entryway of the Bunker, but nights like this it bit him in the ass. Here he was, finally getting a good night's sleep, Cas wrapped around his back, and some idiot hunter just had to show up in the middle of the night. They could’ve at least had the decency to wait until morning.

Cas grumbled against his neck, obviously hearing the noise too. Despite still being an angel, ever since they had gotten together Cas had really taken a liking to sleep.

“Stay here, babe,” Dean murmured, “I got it.”

He rolled out of bed and trudged his way to the door. He yanked it open, still grumbling under his breath about “ stupid young hunter with no regard for their elders. ”

As he walked down the hall, Sam joined him.

“Hey man, I’ve got this, you can go back to Cas,” he offered.

“Nah, I’m up already. Who do you think it is?”

“Claire?” Sam asked.

“No, she’s on a Tulpa hunt in San Francisco with Kaia.”

“Ah, young love,”

“Haha, yeah. Charlie?” Dean asked.

“Remember, her and Stevie are on their honeymoon in Colorado.” The wedding had been beautiful. Both brides radiated joy, and nearly everyone (including Dean, though he would never admit it) cried. How Stevie managed to convince Charlie to go somewhere so far out of cell range still escaped Dean, but hey, it seemed like they were having fun.

“Still?”

“Yeah, they found a hunt up there the day they were gonna leave.”

“That’s rough.” Dean said.

“Actually, they seemed pretty excited. ‘First hunt as a married couple’ and all that.”

“Yeah, well, if that happened to Cas and I, you would be taking care of it.” Dean grunted as they reached the War Room.

“So, have you thought about it?” Sam asked carefully, “You know, asking him to marry you? Fully retiring?” The brothers and Cas were already partially retired, only taking hunts near the Bunker and mainly helping with the research. They were like the new Bobby’s. It was amazing how far they’d come.

“I mean, yeah,” he admitted, “I think I’d like that. I don’t think very soon, but eventually. We wasted so much time already, it’d be nice to make it official.”

Their conversation was cut off as they reached the big iron door. Sam stood in front of his brother to open it, and his back went ramrod straight the second he saw who was at the door. Dean peeked over his ginormous shoulder and felt the blood drain from his face.

“Dad?” 

Dean’s voice hurt him. It was like just the sight of their father turned him back into that obedient little kid, who always did what his father told him to. He was so much more than that now.

“Boys?” John asked, “Why do you look so… old?” Sam was still speechless, so Dean took charge. Fifteen years had passed and it was exactly the same.

“How are you alive?”

“I was with your mother, heaven, I think, there was this bright like, and then poof, here I am. Standing right outside this big ass metal door.”

“Um, Dad, what year do you think it is?”

“2006. Why? How long has it been, boys?”

“It’s uh, 2020 now. What was the last thing you remember?” he asked his dad, then said to Sammy: “Get the holy water, silver, and borax. We can do more tests later.”

“2020?” John asked, shocked, “What the hell?”

“Dad,” Dean said, trying to sound firmer, “What was the last thing you remember before being with mom?”

“The hospital. My deal with Yellow Eyes. I died, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did. Then you came back as a ghost to kill the demon, then we went back in time and met you a couple of times, then you came back because of a wishing pearl that we had to destroy because it screwed with time. Things have gotten a lot more complicated since you left.”

Sam showed up with the borax and holy water, which he splashed on John’s face, then he handed him the silver knife, still silent. After a cut proving his humanity, John turned back into a commander.

“Tell me everything. Now, Dean.”

So Dean did. He told him about the end of the hunt for Azazel, about going to hell, about Angels, about the plan to free Lucifer, and about the first Apocalypse. He told him about the deal with Crowely, about the Leviathans, about Purgatory, about Abbadon, and Metatron. He told him about becoming a demon, killing Death and Hitler, and freeing the Darkness. He told him about Chuck, Rowena, and Jack. He told him about Mary coming back and the apocalypse world. He told him everything.

The only thing he left out was his relationship with Cas and that Cas was an angel, because John was sure to meet the man soon, and that would not be a fun conversation if he knew.  

Dean had no delusions that John would approve of his relationship with another man, let alone one that wasn’t human. Hell, his father was one of the main reasons Dean took so long to own up to his feelings.

“So you’re telling me,” John said slowly, “That you two started--and ended--the apocalypse… more than once? Once… because you,” he pointed at Sam, “got addicted to demon blood , and then again because you,” he pointed at Dean, “actually became a demon.” The brother nodded.

“You IDIOTS!” he roared, and Dean flashed back to his childhood. Drunken rages. Thrown beer bottles. Old bruises on his arm blamed on a werewolf, the only thought going through his head protect Sammy . “YOU FUCKING MORONS! Dean - A demon? You became the monster! God, I hope Sammy hunted you,” Sam started to rise to his feet, presumably to defend his brother, when John turned his gaze on the younger brother, “And you ! That demon was right! I told Dean to kill you, he should’ve! Drinking demon blood , Sam? You’ve got to know how broken you are! I was gone, what, two years? You even regret what you did? I bet you don’t you sick bas-”

“SHUT UP!” Dean yelled, shocking himself. John looked just as surprised.

“What did you say to me?”

“I said,” Dean replied, his voice somehow steady, despite the pounding in his chest, “Shut up. You can yell at me, you can tell me how broken I am--God knows that’s the truth--but you don’t do that to Sam. He tried, okay? He tried so hard but I abandoned him. You abandoned him. He’s a good man. All he ever wanted was a normal life, and he never got that. Because of you . So don’t you ever blame him for things that you caused. The pain you put us through. You did this, not us!”

“Get out of my sight,” John growled.

Dean stalked past him, catching sight of Cas in the doorway.

“Is everything alright, Dean?” he asked, “I heard yelling. Is that your father?”

“Yeah, it is,” Dean barked, without the same bite in his tone he had used on John. Cas, perfect as always, followed Dean down the hallway to their room. The tears stung his eyes before he even made it through the door.

Dean sank to the edge of their bed, tears flowing down his cheeks.

“Dean,” Cas was on his knees beside the hunter, a hand resting on his leg, “What happened?”

“He’s back” Dean choked out, “And it’s the same, Cas! I thought we… changed, you know? Got better, stronger. I thought I would be enough to s-stop him!”

“Stop him?”

“From hurting Sammy. Cas… he-he used to hit me. Not Sammy, that I know of, but, not all the bruises I got were from hunts. He would come home drunk and angry, and would always blame me if Sammy got hurt. Even if it was his fault!” Cas rose up and brought him into a hug, “I never stopped him. He did it till Sammy went to college. Then he just left me. I thought, maybe, if he ever came back…. I could finally do something,” he sniffled, “but I guess that’s proof that I’m still the same scared little boy.”

“No, no, no,” Cas whispered into his hair, “Dean, you are the bravest man I have ever met. I heard what you said to him. Dean, that was bravery! That was you standing up for your little brother. Could you have done that fifteen years ago?” Dean shook his head, still crying, “So you see, love? You grew. You are stronger. He hurt you, but you are still here. Still beautiful. Still Dean Winchester.”

“I love you, Cas,” Dean murmured as he shifted his head into the crook of the angel’s neck.

“Come on, Dean, let’s go to bed. We can talk about this more in the morning.”

Dean nodded his head, and Cas maneuvered him under the covers, still wrapped in his angels arms.

With that they settled in to sleep. Dean fell into a peaceful slumber, completely unaware of the fury coursing through Castiel’s veins.

**************

Dean woke to pounding on the door. He grunted, knowing what was coming, and knowing that it was even worse to put it off. He forced himself out of bed and made his way to the door, still half asleep.

If he had been fully awake he might have realized the mistake he was making.

The door opened to reveal John Winchester’s still beet red face, this time the intoxicated kind. It seemed like the few hours since their fight had done nothing to calm him down.

“What do you want?” Dean asked, voice slurred with sleep.

“I want you to explain to me what that was last night!!”

“Can we do this in like, an hour?” he grunted, “I’m gonna need a shower and a cup of coffee to deal with…” he vaguely gestured at John.

“Do you think this is a laughing matter, boy? We need to-” he glanced behind Dean, “Who is that ?”

“That’s Cas.” Oh shit . Dean’s eyes widened with incredible speed and he reached the slam to door shut.

John’s hand shot open and caught it before it could close.

“The same Cas who’s a ‘hunter buddy’ of yours?” his face was now turning an alarming shade of purple as he strode into the room. Dean backed up, flinching away from his father. He heard rustling in the bed, Cas was sitting up.

“You mean to tell me that not only has your brother gotten addicted to demon blood, and you actually became a demon, some hunter turned you into a FUCKING QUEER?” John roared. Dean just kept inching backwards, that same fear from his childhood rearing its head inside of him.

“God, Dean, I knew you were fucked in the head, but this? Sleeping around with some fag, what did they do to you? I knew you were too much like your mom, always a little pansy,” his voice was slurring, just like it did before every beating when Dean was young, “Who knows, maybe I can beat it out of you?” Dean was on the floor beside the bed now, frozen, just like he was back then. Nothing had changed.

As John reared his arm back, ready to bring it down on Dean's face, a calm but lightning fast hand stopped it in its tracks.

Castiel stood beside Dean. His face was devoid of any emotion, but from the look on John’s face, his hand was squeezing enough to hurt. Still dressed in his bumblebee pajama pants and Dean’s AC/DC shirt, he didn’t look dangerous. Dean knew better. John did not.

“Get your hands off me you fucking faggot!” the man snarled.

“No. You will not hurt Dean.”

“Who are you to stop me?”

“I’m the person who saved him. I’m the one who gripped him tight and raised him from perdition. I’m the one who picked up the pieces of that incredible man you broke and helped him fit them back together. I have loved him more than you are even capable of, so I’d say I have every right to stop you.” Castiel growled the words.

“Let me go, you son of a bitch!” John still wasn’t backing down. Castiel pushed him against a wall with one hand still holding John’s fist and the other arm pressed against his throat.

“I’m an angel you ass.” Castiel’s eyes glowed blue, like they did right before smiting someone. He was the most furious Dean had ever seen him.

“You’re a-” John cut off, “You mean to tell me that not only is Dean fucking a man, you’re not even human ? God, you really are fucked in the head, boy.” Castiel pressed harder on his trachea.

“Dean is not ‘fucked in the head’ as you say. He is a kind and loyal man, no thanks to you. He is no longer your son, John Winchester. You made sure to beat that out of him. Sam and I, and the people we have found and lost along the way, we are his family. We care about him. We love him. That’s more than you can ever say!”

“Dean,” he gasped out, “tell this monster to stop! I’m your father for christ’s sake!” Dean rose unsteadily to his feet. Heart beating faster than on most hunts, adrenaline coursing through him, Dean did the one thing he had always wanted to do but never had the courage for.

“No,” he said.

“No?”

“No. Cas is right. You only ever hurt me, Dad. It was always ‘protect Sammy,’ ‘do this,’ ‘do that.’ You never cared about me, Dad! You just wanted a good little soldier! You ruined me even more than this life did, than hell did.

“So, no. I let you walk all over me for my entire life. I let you abuse me into my twenties! But you can’t hurt Cas. You can’t hurt one of the few people in my life who genuinely cares about me. He’s made me a better person, he’s healed the damage you did. I love him, and if you can’t accept that and finally become a decent father, then you can get out. Leave. Never come back. I don’t want to see your face again.” Dean pointed at the door, hand shaking with nerves and fury.

Castiel removed his arms from a shell-shocked John. The man stared at Dean with fury and pain in his eyes.

He nodded jerkily and trudged out the door.

Dean watched him go, mind blank. The shaking got worse, and he fell back to sit on the edge of the bed.

Cas settled beside him and wrapped Dean up in his arms, silent for a time. When he finally spoke, he knew just what to say.

“I’m proud of you, Dean,” he murmured, to no response, “I know it doesn’t feel good now, but you did the right thing. He’s gone now, and you can move forward. We can do it together.”

“Thank you, Cas,” Dean said into his chest, “For… stopping him, but also for what you said. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, my love. I meant every word. Now, why don’t you get into bed and I’ll bring you a cup of coffee,”

“Peppermint hot chocolate?” Dean asked.

“Of course, Dean.” With that, Cas left to fetch their drinks and, Dean was sure, to make certain John had left. Cas was perfect in that way.

With Cas gone, Dean was left alone with his thoughts. He realized how far he’d come. Even in these fifteen years since he went and got Sam at Stanford.

He used to water down his coffee with whiskey. Now he was asking for hot cocoa. He would find a new girl every week, sometimes even more often, and wouldn’t even know their names. Now he was in a steady relationship with a guy (well, angel) who he loved more than anything. He used to let John hurt him in any way he wanted to. Now he was the one who kicked him out.

He wasn’t perfect. Wasn’t even close. But he was so much better than he used to be. And Dean knew why.

He found good people. Sam. Jody, Claire, Donna, Charlie, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Garth, and so many more. Cas. They made him better. They loved him, and helped him start to love himself.

Cas returned with two cups held carefully in his hands, a concentrated crease between his brows. He silently shuffled into place beside Dean. The angel passed over the cocoa, put his arm around his shoulder, and gave him a little peck on the cheek.

For the rest of the day the two watched movies and funny tv shows on Dean’s iPad. They cuddled and kissed and joked. It was perfect.

Because, yeah, John had screwed Dean up. But the people in Dean’s life were fixing that. And they were the people that mattered. His real family.

Tags: @beautifulsaladkitten @icesoulprincess @themoosegoes-deanicandothis @deano-cas @when-humans-were-good

[hamsterrivals]

ok, so.

I made a youtube video, of me narrating Ashita no Joe episode 4.

I was wondering for awhile if it would be ok to upload a video that’s just directly an anime episode of Ashita no Joe.

I thought partly, maybe it would be ok, since that anime came out like before 1970 or something so maybe it’s free domain,

but nah. It is blocked. I can’t find the video at all.

but, that isn’t going to stop me..

I will do the impossible, (even though I am depressed, about someone I know. irl)

and narrate Ashita no Joe episode 4.

I made a whole video of me narrating it with my voice. but it’s blocked aaaa. I refuse to let it go, though.

giga..drill...breakeriswhat I’d say but I am too depressed about someone I know irl.

Ok so anyways, this was gonna be a YouTube video, especially cuz-- [had to delete the explanation] anyways here:

[deleted stuff.....] ...

anyways here:

oh shizzat its 4am I’m fluffin’ tired. so I’m just gonna skim the episode and post screenshots argh my foot is pulsating as I type that as if my entire body is thinking “wow I know you re-watched Ashita no Joe episodes again yesterday but you should watch the whole episode again its godly” I’m sorry ewotjwte its just almost 4am and I had to wake up at 10am yesterday.

the opening plays. and then:

that one guy that is like my dad reads about my stuff

Jebus freakin’ RICE I’m tired. But I need to do something productive today cuz after I woke up at 10am for my social worker I was tired and drained all day from hearing the voices of the people upstairs and the noise in the wall.

my dad I mean Danpai keeps reading the newspaper (like how in -- gah nevermind [deleted cuz I’m paranoid about what [NEVERMIND deleted the explanation]] and

my freakin’ dad I mean Danpai gets mad at Joe just like

I DELETED [can’t say] like 8 years ago cuz of that time when I [=/ Can’t say the details]

GOSH DARN IT this is just like something irl and I can’t even say what it is because I’m too paranoid about people [deleted explanation here]

ok so basically Joe is super successful and doing good things in this world but no one believes him cuz his stupid azz danpai adopted dad figure is a dumb bummie, and then

and then I wanna explain 99 lines but we’re not even 2 minutes into the episode, so I guess I have to skip some parts; I mean it is 4am after all

and then

ok so there’s this snobby lady (at the time ? perhaps she changes at the very very very very end but I won’t give any spoilers about how the very final episode goes itjewiot btw I literally watched this anime starting from the very last episode cuz someone said this series has best ending in anime/manga of all time, and then I started back at early episodes after that, when I first watched this however years ago,)

and then

yes we printed this article cuz .. you’re trustworthy and popular but Joe is just an unpopular guy who helps out orphans and gives his money away to help out orphans

ya know how when I watched the first 11 episode with [won’t say but the guy that begins with Sau and ends with ce that I was friends with for 15 years and he kept making fun of it multiple times in the chat saying “More like a shit a joe.”] well these guys are like wow Joe is a delinquent cuz he is helping out orphans

wow Yabuki Joe used an alt account or some shiz and made a complete lie to try to help society for the better like making a peaceful game and then I mean boxing I mean waterver and then

no one believes ni the main character Joe who is LITERALLY helping out local orphans; and they’re basically like just jealous of him and twisting the truth to make him look bad is what these snobby popular people are doing t hat actually have friends unlike the wondering loner Joe Yabuki,

this very popular snobby lady who actually has friends unlike ab- Yabuki Joe doesn’t care that Joe is actually being helpful and wants to make projects that will bring peace to this world, she will not give him a chance because she cares more about appearances and keeping up her reputation.

....She takes on the full pressure and responsibilty. But can she handle it?

they’re basically like “uhhh do you have [deleted in case it comes off as offensive, since I know some others that make fun of that stuff >=\ which I don’t like either cuz I get made fun of [the deleted thing] too . It shouldn’t even have to be deleted >=\ but I was in a [DELETED] and they made fun of [the deleted thing] so I guess it has to be [deleted] which is so sad for this world ??] and so

the really cool person who *doesn’t reveal spoilers of the end of the series aa* says please leave Train- Yabuki Joe to me !!

i have faith in him he totally will not somehow break this faith that I vaguely have in him and am kinda too shy to publicly admit..

I wonder what Joe is feeling like right now and doing:

s o anyways Joe keeps laughing 99 times in this episode, and, cuz he knows he’s right and just helping out orphans and people that aren’t popular and too afraid to join the b- never mind.

some of his followers don’t respond to his long rants and are like maybe he is going too far and should back down fro mthe very popular snobby lady

Yabuki Joe laughs again

he says What’s the matter with you!? Stop siding with the very popular lady that actually has friends and a good reputation who is a stuck up and like do what is right instead of what . will make people think better of you even if you know in your hear that maybe it might be wrong.

The snobby lady posted on Twit- I mean irl the anime known as Ashita no Joe the they posted a screenshot of me saying “I have family.....” and they mocked him saying “Um.... I have family too....?” as her followers mocked Yabuki Joe on twitter in the 1970s anime or something,

but family isn’t what matters, everyone has family,

what matters is that you all still have a poor reputation because you have no friends which I think is 100% ok but the stuck-up lady who hates Joe for some reason atm just cares about how they’re rich in [deleted snarky remarks] reputation.

stop caring about the dislikes and haters and appreciate the supporters that you do have;;.

yabuki Joe says F THE HATERS THIS IS Just the beginning of [would say but I wanna here but X_X; [deleted the reason why I won’t] because of [deleted] because of [deleted]]

,y gpa; s 1 million followers cuz then they at least know what is right

in this world.

and then joe is like

and then;

then he’s like yea in my heart I know its good to have that many followers cuz I know the true true truth about Yabuki Joe the anime and manga character from Ashita no Joe, he just wants that many followers to program an indie game about- I mean anyways

they say

[OK WHAT THEH ECK I SERIOUSLY DID RECORD A VIDEO OF ME JUST NARRATING THIS ENTIRE EPISODE AND I uploaded it yesterday on a video sharing site but it is blocked cuz of copyrighted content aaa even though this was from before  1970 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa now I gotta explain in text instead of voice like I already did last night AAAAAAAAAAaa]

they say But what would you do with that much power, that many internet I mean irl followers in 197o in Ashita no Joe the anime/manga series?

and then Yabuki Joe says teh

then he’s like What the gosh darn shiz in yoshville mans,

and then

and they’re like Look Yabuki Joe lives in a Terrible place with Terrible living conditions wher e brick dust keeps falling down and then

and like Joe has no problems like getting kawaii innocent ppl to follow him, but the others are a bit suspicious.. of Joe and his behavior..

Joe is like i’m gonna build a huge online hamster game soon.

and then someone tells Abu in tumblr messages I mean they tell

Someone tells Yabuki Joe as you can see if you flippin’ watch the episode yourself (I don’t blame you. I hope someone will check this series out, though. It’s my favorite anime series, to be honest.) anyways and then someone from his fandom of - anyways someone says

He’s so full of himself.

I guess you suffer from delusions of grandeur?

the bully who is even in the same exact fandom as ab- Yabuki Joe of being an orphan says that, and because they’re so big inside, people blindly listen to them.

the true actual innocent follower that knows trainerab- Yabuki Joe is actually honest and truthful is like, wow shut the fak up brah, and then:

Then the “Are you sure you don’t suffer from delusions of grandeur?” doubtful follower who is keeping an eye on Ab-Yabuki Joe I mean and watching over him to try to keep the orphanage safe falsely then says “This is a clown. See this clown? Abu is hiring th I mean Yabuki Joe had this younger person defend him” Wow and then

one of the only innocent ppl in this show besides Yabuki Joe and a bunch of later characters in this series in later episodes that happen soon, know Joe really is telling the truth and that he really is honest and she’s pizzed awf at that hater troll person trying to Provoke joe and such on [deleted] anime & manga series Ashita no Joe the anime/manga series, and then

then they’re like, uh oh maybe Joe does have some loyal followers who know the real truth and we should hold our distance and see what he does and what he is truly like, first, and then

so, then

so then Yabuki Joe shows them their steam profile and the gam I mean the BY- I mean

Joe is like ok I played retro games my whole life and watched cool cartoons like the Rugrats and I play cool games and twisted trolls like the snobby girl try to make it look like I “change my interests to appease others” but come into my YouTube channel office and c the truth that I really DID play a lot of SNES games and then

I mean Yabuki Joe says this is my office and this is where I live,

I live in a factory that rains brick dust,

and then,

AND THEN I WANNA NARRATE THIS ENTIRE EPISODE BUT IT IS FREAKIN’ 4:35am and I gotta get up soon

I mean I flippin’ already narrated this entire episode and commented on it etc. and made a cool video of it but YouTube blocked it AAAAAAAA even tho it was an anime made in

1970 I thought it would be free domain by now and o.k. to upload a video of it to YouTube with audio commentary GOSH AAAaaaa GOSH I WANNA NARRATE THE WHOLE EPISODE

AS I SAID IN THE youtube video that is blocked on YouTube I think it is a requirement cuz like it really pejeroyjoirjyorejijioe

ok have a nice night.

[mariailoveyou-guerin]

can y’all blame Alex tho I too would change my sexuality for Maria DeLuca too! It’s hard being gay when Maria DeLuca looks like that all my heart goes to Alex Manes he lost his biggest battle saying no to Maria DeLuca dont go so hard on him Alex Malex stans it’s okey it’s Maria DeLuca people go to war for a Maria DeLuca. Remember Alex asking how straight guys say no to Maria and she said they dont looks like gay guys dont either am I right Alex Manes the big solider who lost a lim a whole leg can’t say no to Maria DeLuca no matter what happens tonight at least it was fun right. Nothing is funnier then seeing Maria antis lose it bc their fav is a coward who’s willing to have se* with a woman when he’s 100% gay or is he who know at this point right! Maybe he’s dad will accept him now kidding it’s awful even I’m not that horrible do I love mocking Alex and Malex stans sure but there are limits and I don’t cross them.

I told y’all to watch tarlos malec or that white mlm shameless ship but nah y’all just wanted to make y’all self look like clowns by wanting a ship that didnt exist thats so random forced and out of nowhere so this is on yourselves Malex shippers and Alex stans just YOU y’all created the delusions in ur heads that Micheal didn’t love Maria or that Malex was end game even if it is now it’ll always be comical to everyone including me. Even if the treesome dosent happened at least we saw how y’all could jump ship so easily wbk y’all weren’t ever truly dedicated to them and thought their love was real of y’all can jump ship that fast on spoiler alone Malex deserves better fans truly.

[comicteaparty]

June 29th-July 5th, 2019 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from June 29th, 2019 to July 5th, 2019.  The chat focused on the following question:

Whether intentional or not, what would you say is the central theme of your comic?

snuffysam

The central theme of Super Galaxy Knights Deluxe R http://sgkdr.thecomicseries.com/comics/ is, to put it in a word, acceptance. Accepting that you can't change the past, accepting that you can't control everything that happens in your life, accepting that other people come from different walks of life and experience different hardships from you, accepting that you can't change other people's hearts, and learning to accept yourself even when others don't accept you.

Attila Polyák

The story of Tales of Midgard https://talesofmidgard.com/comic/book-1-cover-page/ does have a central theme, but most of the story mostly follows events that allow the exploration of the world. That said... If you look at it closely you'll notice that the story does involve themes about free will and the results and consequences of an actions taken.

Respheal

Kinda hit me just now that the central theme of Galebound (http://www.galebound.com/) might be "real change comes from a place of love, not hate". Basically, even if you have "good" goals, trying to achieve those goals from a position of hatred will just destroy everything around you, while doing something because of love elevates everything. Also row row fight the power(edited)

Jonny Aleksey

The Undefeatable J-Man ( http://jonnyalekseydrawscomics.com/thelatestpage ) So when I starting writing up the series years ago the idea was always going to be about the relationship between J-Man and his father. J-Man having idolized his officer dad when he was little but growing more distance after he becomes a hero and does his own "cases" (like a kid trying to be grown up). The inclusion of sidekick Sleepy Bear evolved from a fun silly idea into being a sort of little brother to J-Man, forcing him into a guardian role before he's really ready. I guess in short the theme has become maturity and hero worship.(edited)

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

If Leif & Thorn (http://leifandthorn.com/) has a main theme, it's "communication." Partly because the characters don't share a first language -- and even as Thorn gets better at speaking Leif's, there are huge cultural differences that they need to figure out and talk through.

On top of that, if you dig down far enough, a ton of the problem-of-the-week type conflicts can be traced back to miscommunication! Someone hasn't explained themselves, or tried but didn't get it across very well, or explained it clearly but the other person didn't want to listen...

(The other problems are pretty much all about financial exploitation. Something goes wrong, it's either miscommunication or capitalism. Or both!)

But I'm A Cat Person (http://bicatperson.com/) is about broke recent college grads living on their own for the first time, but still making new connections and getting by with help from their friends. Also, immortal shapeshifters who need to be bonded to a human Master and will literally run down like a rusting machine if they don't get regular orders. There was a point when I figured the theme was "independence," but it's really more "interdependence."

...It's very political, but it takes place in 2010-2011, so the in-universe references have to be specific to that era. If they didn't, I'd be saying "stronger together" a lot more.

keii4ii

Heart of Keol (https://heartofkeol.com/) is about being let down by the one person you trusted, when you needed them the most. The feeling of "I'd thought they would care, but I guess that was too much to expect........" It's also about how you change (which hopefully includes healing -- though that isn't the case every time...) after such an experience. How that relationship changes afterward, and how it affects your other relationships.

Mharz

The Angel with Black Wings http://blackwings.mharz.com/ main central theme is "forgiveness" whether it's towards others or towards yourself. We've all been hurt before and sometimes depending on how tough it is, it can sometimes be so hard to forgive anyone even yourself. Some had so many tragedies happened to them that they had formed hatred towards the world that they just want to see it burn. Many of us formed self-loathing because we haven't achieve this kind of status we wanted for ourselves, or maybe we have blamed ourselves for something bad that has happened in the past. Forgiveness or lack thereof can greatly affect someone's mental health... and it doesn't just affect ourselves, but the people around us. CHAMPS http://champs.mharz.com/ aside from the slow-burn lesbian romance that's going on is about which victories are more important? The main characters, being athletes they'd want to win any match they can... but winning doesn't necessarily mean a satisfying victory. Sometimes you need to make a choice.

NeilKapit

What is this theme? Is it, according to that one guy from the Game of Thrones show, something for eighth grade book reports? Everyone knows storytelling is all about random shit happening to keep people in their seats, regardless of why.

Tuyetnhi

ha?

keii4ii

I think NeilKapit was making a joke about themes in general

Tuyetnhi

o

keii4ii

Not sure but my guess is he was sarcastically mimicking those who uh, don't "believe in themes"

Mharz

oh I thought it was pertaining to mine... becos my message was before theirs

I'm like did I say something wrong?

keii4ii

Nah, you're fine

Mharz

Ty keiiii

NeilKapit

It’s a joke based on a quote by David Benoit (sp?), one of the game of thrones showrunners, about how he approaches storytelling

It explains a lot about why the show went south so hard and so fast once they ran out of book material to adapt

Sorry if it sounded like I was dissing you or anyone here, I wasn’t

keii4ii

Thank you for clarifying

Mharz

it's good, bud. : D

NeilKapit

In all seriousness, the theme behind my comic We Are the Wyrecats (wyrecats.com) is coming of age in the worst possible way, with the protagonist having spent ages 18-22 in a coma, and awakening to a world where all the common sense heroism she and her friends tried to do ended up receiving a vicious backlash from the powers that be, where her friends have had to morally compromise in the name of survival, and where she realizes that people only allow you to do good on their terms

And what to make of things upon learning all of that

Nutty (Court of Roses)

In Court of Roses http://courtofroses.thecomicseries.com/ I'm trying to show the love, beauty, and power in self-expression, especially of the artistic kind and how versatile it can truly be. My bards will have a lot of challenges thrown at them to be solved uniquely with their talents!(edited)

Nutty (Court of Roses)

I wanna expand on that once they all start traveling together, as well as showing the importance of being able to seek help and comfort from others when you need it most.

Capitania do Azar

Haha central theme of my comic (www.sarilho.net/en/) is cooperation and this was super intentional because themes are super important and that's is why I spend so much time dealing with characters engaging in battle (edited)

MJ Massey

Not sure if this counts, but Black Ball (http://welcometoblackball.com/) is a deconstruction of the Great Gatsby and other 1920s literature which involves a lot of ironic tragedy. Emily is the common sense friend you wish all those characters had, because she has no time for that nonsense, and inadvertently comes in and makes people face their problems and, through that, become stronger, better people. While this is going on, she doesn't even realize that she's having an impact on people. Emily starts as sort of a passive doormat, being dragged around where her parents or the plot take her, but by the end she will find her own confidence and will become a more assertive person

Tuyetnhi

The main themes for OIYD! (http://oiydcomic.com/) is a combination of Fantasy vs. Reality, Truth and Lies, the scope of love, and the sacrifices or consquences made from those choices. Escapism, fantasies, and delusions often infer how we precieve our reality. And sometimes reality structures how these mindscapes are dictated. I want to explore such things under a romance between a dreamer and her dream, implications of trying to please your family and yourself, and what to do when your dreams can turn into concrete existence.(edited)

kayotics

Okay, so after some thinking, I think one of the main themes in Ingress Adventuring Company (https://ingress-comic.com/) is that healing isn't linear, and it can take a long time. That goes tied with the theme that sometimes there's more to people than what they show you. These aren't, like... SUPER obvious as themes yet, especially because most of the comic right now is a pretty light-hearted adventure story, but I think i'll get around to it.

deo101

Millennium's (http://millennium.thecomicseries.com/) main theme is really all about love, and overcoming great struggle through it. It's about healing and growth and finding your own family!(edited)

Jurinova

In it's core Home is a Distant Wish (https://tapas.io/series/hiadw) is about healing and finding one's own place in the world. It is about home but not just as a physical place but home as a feeling of belonging and safety, and most importantly about the right people. It is in many ways about people disconnected trying to connect again. There are more underlying themes that are a bit darker but I do like to think that the more hopeful themes are the dominant ones.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Would you convert to a different religion if your fiancé/fiancée was of a different faith? No.

The world is ending, and you can save one group of five people: who would be the five people that you save? Mom, dad, both of my brothers, and my dog.

Is happiness a delusion? Is happiness only real when shared? Why or why not? No, I’d say it’s definitely a real emotion just like sadness and anger and any of the others. I wouldn’t say it’s only real when shared with others, but it’s certainly nice.

What would the cover of your biography (presumably written by somebody else who never knew you, postmortem) look like? I don’t even know.

Write about a really good or creative Tumblr URL that you see frequently on your dashboard. *shrug*

If swear words were not things like “shit” and “fuck” what would they be otherwise? Uhhh.

Write a very vivid description of what is/would have been your most perfect way to lose your virginity. What is your exact definition of ‘losing your virginity’? Also: will you/would you have liked to save your virginity for marriage? Why or why not? There isn’t a perfect way, but for me I would like that time to be with someone I am in a committed relationship and in love with. Someone I feel comfortable with and feel I can trust.

Write a six-word fortune cookie. “Great things will happen for you.”

Why do you think eyebrows exist? Aren’t they supposed to help prevent stuff from getting down into our eyes? Just like eyelashes, even though majority of the time if I have something in my eye it’s an eyelash... but yeah. Also, eyebrows are way of like communicating or expression. Like when you raise your eyebrows out of concern or surprise, or when you scrunch them out of confusion or anger.

If you could only have one contact on your phone, who would it be? I remember my parent’s phone numbers as well as my younger brother’s, so I honestly don’t know. They’re the only ones I call or text.

Your bucket list is limited to three items. Travel, find whatever it is that makes me happy, and experience love.

Do you wake up first or do you open your eyes first? What?

Write a love/thank you/appreciation letter to someone you take for granted. You truly are appreciated for everything that you do for me and for taking care of me. I know I’m difficult sometimes and moody and I’m sorry. You are so hardworking and selfless. I honestly do not know what I do without you. I wouldn’t even be here. You are my rock and what keeps me doing.

What makes you feel infinitely sexy? Nothing.

Make a video and talk about something for two minutes. Anything. And don’t edit out any parts of it. Lol nah.

Write a poem you’d stick on a refrigerator. Nah.

Are you afraid of aging? Why? Very. Getting older is scary. I’m afraid of losing my loved ones. I’m afraid of death. I’m afraid of my health only getting worse. I’m afraid of wasting my life, which I already feel like I have. Time flies and I’m afraid of running out of time.

Describe one time you basically thought you were the shit, when your self-confidence was soaring through the roof. This is meant to be a positive thing. I have never felt that way to be honest.

If there was one person you could get drunk with and kiss and then later blame it on alcohol, who would it be? No one.

Does perfection exist? If the word perfection did not exist, what word would be in its place? What would perfection mean instead? Nothing is perfect.

The next book you see that has over 300 pages, open up to page 136. Find a sentence you like, copy it down, and then write about it. Nah.

Who makes you laugh the most? My younger brother and stuff online.

What is one thing that you are proud of, that you think lacks praise/lacks appreciation from the people around you? It could be a simple thing; it could be a secret thing. I don’t know. I don’t feel proud of anything regarding myself, so.

If you could accuse somebody of being fake/a bitch and not suffer any repercussions, who would you accuse, and how would you do it? Nah.

What is the funniest one-liner Tumblr text post you’ve ever read? Man, I don’t know. I’ve seen a ton.

Rewrite a verse of lyrics from your favorite song. They have to sound good when you sing it out loud along to tune of the song. Blahhhh.

If the SATs/grades did not exist, in what way should colleges/teachers evaluate applicants? maybe through actual work? <<<

Do you feel at home in your home? Is home a place for you? A book? A thing? A person? What would you want your home to be? Yes.

Write your own eulogy. Um, no. I had to do that for a class once, though.

What is something you felt like you deserved or should have belonged to you, but you never got? Ummm.

Do you feel ‘connected to nature’? Do you frequent outside? Do you believe that a connection with the earth we live on is necessary in the first place? No. I’m very much an indoor person. Unless I’m at the beach, that is.

Your opinion on oral sex? I wouldn’t know.

If one TV show could be real, which one would you want it to be? Which one would screw our world over? Hmm.

How many kinds of love are there? Lots.

Which word needs to exist (or be used again)? Sigh. I’m kinda over this survey.

What is the absolute hardest thing about staying alive? Living.

What is a book that has been recognized as ‘great literature’ that you dislike? Why? fldsjfdsklfjklds

What is one change that you would make/have made to your life that will make/has made it better? I have so much I need to change and yet I haven’t taken any of the steps.

Is everything you do for yourself? Can you truly be selfless? No, not everything. I do a lot for others and care more about others than myself. I’ve also had to be selfish in some ways because I had put myself on the back burner for so long.

Are you the same person you were two and a half years ago? No.

Can you possibly conquer the labyrinth? Nope.

As a hyper intelligent pan-dimensional being, what is the answer to the ultimate question, the life, the universe and everything? What is the ultimate question? Duuuuude. You’re too much.

[thisbrilliantsky]

area secondhand fan explains: why there are five robins

OK SO: the first robin was dick grayson, romani son of trapeze pair "the flying graysons"- young (newly batman) bruce wayne witnessed dick's parents fall to their deaths as a result of sabotage, and adopted lil eight-year-old dick, who then (a couple years later??) became his protege/sidekick. and they were adorable and everything was dandy until dick was about eighteen and started wanting more Responsibility but bruce was like, nah son. so they had a Falling Out and dick left gotham and went to bludhaven where he became nightwing (after a therapeutic heart-to-heart with his buddy/mentor superman but that's another story). dick grayson is awesome and Good and Pure and loves his family so much ;-;

second robin: jason todd, abandoned, gutsy street kid - so bruce was being all broody and I Dont Need A Sidekick Anyway Dick Can Do What He Wants but then one night some punk kid tried to steal the batmobile's tires?? and bruce was like???? and the kid tried to fight him??? with a tire iron?? so bruce was like: Yes. He's Perfect. so he adopted lil 12yo? jason. and it was awesome and everything was dandy until three years later jason was trying to find his mom (his real mom - his abusive dad had abandoned him and his stepmom and they'd ended up on the streets and then she abandoned jason?? or something) and bruce let him bc reasons and he found her?? but she betrayed him?? idk exactly how it happened but the joker kidnapped jason and tortured him and then left him in a warehouse and then blew up it up. :((( and bruce was too late. so jason died at 15 and it was awful and bruce will never forgive himself. (and neither will dick......who had patched things up with bruce by now and was Older Broing it up with jason) BUT THEN (in at least one version of the story) somehow or other the league of shadows got a hold of jason's body?? and threw him in the lazarus pit and resurrected him. (another version has him coming back to life IN HIS COFFIN SIX FEET UNDER bc of some superhero science thing AND HAVING TO CLAW HIS WAY OUT ug h) and eventually jason turns up in gotham again as the red hood; and he's.....angry. and angsty. and just. he's mostly mad bc bruce didn't kill the joker. he captured him and turned him over to the authorities, but then he freaking escaped and that along with the fact of the third robin jason's like??? seriously?? i mattered that little to you?? ;-; im so sad

THIRD ROBIN: tim drake, genius and coffee addict, probably - so bruce was all I Am The Scum of The Earth I Will Never Take A Kid Crimefighting Again and being all broody and sad but then this 13yo kid shows up and is like, "hi, i'm tim, i'm 13 and i'm here to tell u what ur problem is" and bruce is like.....where are ur parents. "at home." what are u talking about. "i know that you're batman" ur delusion son. "no actually i'm not, here's a graph of how i figured out that you, bruce wayne, are batman, and that your adopted son, dick grayson, is nightwing (formerly robin)" ........what do u want. "i want to be robin" yeah that's not happening. "oh gee wouldn't it be A Shame if someone were to get a hold of this info........" are u blackmailing me, kid. "a little" are you kidding me. "no." why do u want to be robin. "bc batman needs a robin." .... "ur just a broody pair of fists otherwise, u know" SO YEAH tim convinces him to let him be robin and tim is actually a brilliant detective and everything is dandy for a while (if a bit tense......bruce kinda keeps tim at arm's length for a while, tho dick warms up to him p quick) and then jason shows up again so Drama happens and then??? tim's parents are murdered??? and idk. sad things happen and bruce ends up adopting tim and admitting that he'd always thought of him as a son AND ALSO tim leads the teen titans and is bros with superboy and a bunch of other teen heroes

OK NOW fourth robin: damian wayne, bruce's only biological child, smol and lethal, kitten thinks of nothing but murder all day - so APPARENTLY ten years before (??? when he was training with the league of shadows to get his Ninja Skills or something??) bruce had a Thing with talia al ghul, the daughter of ra's al ghul (the Big Bad Guy of the league) and unbeknownst to bruce, she got pregnant and had a son. bc they are the League of Shadows and are just Extra about everything, they basically raised damian to be a lil assassin and by the time he's 10 he's killed.......idk how many ppl. and he's a genius and an artist but?? his mom and granddad are super harsh as u might imagine. but he grows up hearing stories about how his father is this mighty warrior and worthy opponent and stuff and he decides he wants to meet him so he just?? turns up in gotham like, "Hello Father, I am the son u never knew u had, and I am here to prove myself to u but it's not like i need ur approval or anything, see I am completely competent on my own, in fact i am better than u, see how i effortlessly kill this thug (please love me)." and bruce is just.......lowkey horrified and highkey ????????? and it kinda goes badly bc bruce has this thing where he never kills ppl (see: not killing the joker even tho he murdered jason) and he's v strict about it and he doesn't have the time or the inclination to deal with a murder child. and he inadvertently crushes lil damian's murder heart. BUT dick is there and he's like??? bruce??? he's ur son??? and when bruce is still an emotionally constipated jerk about it dick takes damian under his wing (pun intended) and trains him in the Batfam Way. for whatever reason (i think bruce faked his death???) dick took on the role of batman for a while and damian became his robin. damian pretended at first that he was Above everyone and Didnt Need any training but he really is just a 10yo who wants to be loved and he actually has a really soft heart and he ends up becoming really close to dick (tho he continues to antagonize tim (now red robin) but NOT bc he feels threatened by him that would be ABSURD) and eventually bruce comes around and he and damian start bonding and so everything is dandy for a while bUT THEN stuff goes down and damian gets killed while protected dick. AND ITS HORRIBLE AND EVERYONE BLAMES THEMSELVES (including tim ;-;) bUT THEN talia and the league of shadows throws damian in the lazarus pit and resurrects him?? or something. he ends up in the pit somehow. and bruce comes to get him and he comes home and is robin again and he's become so into this whole "no killing" thing that he is now a vegetarian. and he loves animals. he adopted a cow. and a dog. and. he pretends to be so tough but he's really just smol and traumatized ;-; he wants to be good so badly and he's tRYING

and that's really all i can tell u about the Robin Legacy™ bc duke is p new and i dont actually know much about him :||

thank u for ur time~

[romancevsreality-blog]

vanderpump rules, season six, episode fourteen: caution - feminism ahead

Every single episode I wonder how they’re going to top the generic musical intros they use on this show, but here we are - this week, it’s simply “na, na, na, nah, nah.” Also known as, my approach to writing this blog lately!

Apologies. I’ve gone through a lot in the last few months. I’m back, I promise. Just in time for the finale, of course!

OF COURSE.

We start in West Hollywood in Tom and Ariana’s apartment, where Ariana is dreading going to hair removal. Ariana is teaching Tom the basic essentials to hair removal, and Sandoval is straight up shocked you don’t roll up there with a full bush and they just buzz through it like some kind of laser lawn mower. No, you have to be fully shaved, closely shaved, so they can access the hair follicle more easily. If they could superimpose an NBC “The More You Know” rainbow over this entire scene, that would be fantastic.

Ariana’s working on body positivity and #embracinghervagina, but it’s a slow process of both undoing that hatred and gaining some sense of self-love there. Hopefully one day she’ll love her vagina as much as she should. Sandoval loved their trip to Vegas because it was like, an adult trip - he wasn’t black out drunk the entire time, just like, 75% of the time. Who cares if Lisa had to kick Tom and Tom out of a meeting because they were out of control and being annoying? Not Sandoval! He showed up, and that’s what matters. I wonder how Tom pays his rent with the brownie points he’s getting.

Over at Sexy Unique Restaurant, the Generic Music cue is “Oh, Superstitilous”.

Can someone. Tell me. What “Superstitilous” means.

I cannot think of a sentence where I would need to combine “superstitious” and “delicious” into one word. I literally have tried to for the last hour. Like, maybe if it’s the Boston Marathon or something and you’re eating pasta? “This pasta is so superstitilous, I hope it brings me good luck tomorrow.”

I’m trying, y’all.

DJ James Kennedy, CBE, and Raquel, his squeak-toy-turned-girlfriend, are over at Sexy Unique Restaurant. James is putting on a jacket because his father is coming by and he wants to give off the vibe of being Very Smart. James, a jacket can only do so much for you. It’s his dad’s first time coming to visit after getting divorced frrom his mother, and his father is just as much of a British stereotype as you can think of. His dad is a less attractive Robbie Coltrane1 with worse teeth. He’s wearing sunglasses that can only be described as Creepy Manager Chic, and a baseball cap and a black polo.

It’s like they yanked him straight out of 24 Hour Party People2. We’re reminded that James was surrounded by music growing up - not only did his dad manage George Michael, but he was a DJ himself. He is also a grown man wearing an ear cuff.

James’ dad has no idea what his son’s drink of choice is, or that James cannot drink while on the job. James said his dad isn’t a bad influence, he just doesn’t understand why James can’t work and drink at the same time. Raquel continues to be like “if Lisa catches you with a drink, you’re donzo.” Speaking of, Lisa arrives for this week’s contracted meddling. She talks with Billie Lee, and then talks to James and his dad. Ken’s known Andreas (James’s dad), forever, but Lisa only knows him through George Michael, she’s keen to remind us.

Scheana and Lala3 meet with Brittany at Hooters, where they’re celebrating Jax’s 83rd birthday. He claims it’s his 38th, but we all know the truth. He’s not fooling anyone. Brittany knows she’s better than doing anything for Jax, let alone throw him a birthday party, but you know what? She’s all in on this relationship with this philanderer. Stassi, Schwartz, and Katie all arrive, shocked they’re downtown... but Hooters might be the only reason they’ll ever go downtown. Fuck Jax.

Stassi reminds us that when she broke up with Jax, she all but dug her key into the side of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive and carved her name into his leather seats, but she can’t judge Brittany for coping in her own way. Jax calls this the perfect birthday party for his inner child, because there’s nothing better than going to Hooters. My only experiences with Hooters have been this show and that episode of The Office, so I can’t confirm or deny this.

Stassi’s complaining about having big boobs, and how girls with small boobs will never know the pain of underboob sweat. As someone who’s new to the entire concept of having boobs, this is very true. It’s actually awful, and kind of gross. Katie can hold a pencil under her boobs, Stassi can hold an entire pack of rats. I can’t, and as someone who was thrilled she couldn’t hold a pencil case between her thighs, I’ll just go along with their entire thing here.

RealDoll Scheana takes Jax aside and confronts him about what Kristen told her Jax said about her and Rob. Rob says he loves RealDoll Scheana, but he’s not in love with her yet - even though she is, and she’s planning their entire life together down to the pillow shams they’ll have in the lake house. Rob may tell Scheana he loves her, but Jax was told something different. Scheana can’t imagine that this is true. There’s so much meaning behind not telling your significant other you love them every time you say goodbye.

Delusion, by Scheana Shay.

She knows they’re going to get married - sure, it’s not as quickly as she’d like it to be, but they’re going to. How does she know this? Does Rob know this? For once, Jax is in the right, and y’all know how much I hate it when that happens. He’s just trying to bring Scheana back down to Earth because she’s looking at her entire life through her Instagram feed. If she can project perfection4 to everyone else, eventually that’ll become true. She’s trying to The Secret her entire life. As someone who tries not to fuck with the universe and tries not to put things out there that can come back to me later5, even I know at a certain point it’s out of my control. Scheana hasn’t, clearly.

Peter asks Brittany how it feels to be back at Hooters, and she’s happy to be there. Ariana, with a mouth full of chicken, is like, “it’s so nice of Jax to take us to church on his birthday.” Ariana remains my favorite.Sandoval and Tom have gotten Jax a gift - a male romper. I’m guessing this was that time last summer that romphims were shocking the world, and honestly, there’s nothing wrong with it? I never understood why it was such a big deal. I mean, guys don’t even have to get naked to pee in their rompers. They should be much more of a staple in men’s attire than women’s.

Oh god, am I defending rompers?

The next day, Stassi and Billie Lee are headed to Kristen and Carter’s apartment, and Billie swears she’s not an alcoholic. Billie Lee immediately greets them with gluten-free vegan brownies and bread and she was doing so good up until this moment. Do not walk into my house with gluten-free vegan anything. Stassi loves Billie Lee. I did too, at one time. Apparently, Jeremy, Ariana’s brother, asked Billie Lee out on a date. Kristen and Stassi are skeptical and want to make sure it’s in public because Jeremy’s a creep.

Or so they think.

Jeremy’s kind of a creep and a lingerer, and at Schwartz and Katie’s wedding got a little too drunk and handsy, making Stassi uncomfortable. Kristen hopes he’s not just trying to fuck Jeremy, and Billie Lee’s like “Uh, that’s what I want.” As soon as she says that, they’re like, “oh, well, that’s okay.” It’s fine if a dude creeps you out if you want to fuck him, I guess? Billie Lee’s nervous now, however. I don’t blame her.

Scheana and Brittany6 are at BBCM for brunch, and Brittany’s refusing to drink. Brittany’s happy that she cleared the air with Jax, and Scheana’s like “yeah, there’s no way what he said was true, so it’s fine.” Scheana wants Brittany to be as happy with Jax as Scheana is with Rob because Scheana is determined to make sure that Brittany stays the hell away from Jax. Scheana knows a lot of people, which has never been said without an air of malice around it. Brittany’s hoping Jax will turn into the person she fell in love with, which is hilarious.

If you’re hoping your boyfriend will just… squash part of his personality that you don’t like, Brittany, you might as well be wafting in Delusion, by Scheana Shay. Jax is abusive. End of story. Scheana texted Adam, the hot new guy at Sexy Unique Restaurant7, because he asked about Brittany. Honestly, Scheana really thinks she’s Cher Horowitz and Brittany is Tai. She wants Brittany away from Travis Birkenstock (Jax) and in the pants of literally anyone else, but hopefully Elton (Adam). I see you, Scheana.

You will never be Cher Horowitz. The closest you’ll come is American Woman, Kyle Richards’s show about her life starring Alicia Silverstone.

We’re at the site for TomTom, and Schwartz wants nothing more than to be shoveling dirt with the construction site. Schwartz, clearly not knowing where he was going, is wearing fucking sandals. Katie married a grown man who wears sandals. All the time. Who doesn’t know to wear closed-toed shoes to a construction site? Does Tom Schwartz realize that a ton of health codes require closed-toes shoes in restaurants? He’s gonna die.

Sandoval is still trying to direct the set up of the bar area, and Lisa shuts that the fuck down. Again, Sandoval thinks he’s a true partner in all of this, but what Lisa wants him to do is what she wanted him to do at Sexy Unique Restaurants - craft a cocktail menu. That’s it. Nothing else. She doesn’t want your design input or any tips on what kind of food you’d like. She literally wants Tom to go to all his favorite bars in Los Angeles, choose his favorite cocktails from there, and assemble a list.

Oh, Sandoval. You only own 5% of the restaurant. Have you been wearing Delusion, by Scheana Shay?

Queen Lala arrives at Scheana’s apartment literally dressed like a goddess, in a white two-piece outfit. She looks like a California princess and clearly, she’s just touched up her lips because they are PLUMP, girl8. Following behind is Billie Lee, and then we get some shady shots of all the photos of Rob and Scheana in Scheana’s glam room.

The producers hate Scheana so much, I love it. Billie Lee needs a drink immediately upon arrival, and the girls are all happy to comply. Scheana’s pulled a few outfits for Billie to wear on her date, and Billie tells the details of her conversation with Kristen and Stassi. Billie Lee’s skeptical because Stassi gave the implication that Jeremy will just bounce from girl to girl to girl, hoping for some kind of positive interactions. Lala and Scheana are like, “well, he’s never tried anything with us, so.”

I do want to touch base on the “Well, he never did anything to make me uncomfortable, so,” response. A broken clock is right twice a day. Sometimes people we think are good are capable of doing bad things. Sometimes people’s behavior can be interpreted differently. A part of how the #metoo movement came into being was the collective idea that these people couldn’t have done this, they were good because of [xyz]. Did we learn nothing from Spotlight? The Catholic Church protected its own, we will forever protect our own instead of listening to victims. Listen. You’ll learn something. Reexamine people and their impact. Just because someone hasn’t hurt you, doesn’t mean they’re not capable of it.

Lala is immediately riled up because Kristen and Stassi tend to say things that not only hurt feelings but affect others’ lives in the long run. Billie was excited about her date until they brought up all of those thoughts.

Everyone loves and adores Billie. Especially Lala, who loves her tits. Billie chooses a green printed romper, and she looks cute. I won’t even hate. It’s a great date outfit.

Billie and Lala go to get a drink, and Lala’s getting buzzed before going into work because she’s the fucking best. She is all of us. Lala’s there to calm Billie down before her date because Lala understands the nerves and butterflies and jitters that accompany the first date. Jeremy arrives, and Billie immediately sets her sights on setting the mood. Guys are hesitant to date her because she is trans and people talk, and Jeremy’s like, “Whatever dude, you’re a girl and you should be acknowledged as such, who cares.”

This is the correct response.

Because this show can’t introduce anyone without bringing them up again, we’re meeting DJ James Kennedy, KCMG, and his fucking dad again9. James is ordering alcoholic slushies, Andres claims that George Michael christened him and spat on him, passing along his musical powers. Is that how powers are spread? Through spit? Like a cold? Having George Michael as a godfather has made James determined to be Something. Him and Lala together. James’ dad lost everything when George Michael and he had a falling out, and now James is getting over his struggle. He cries when thinking about his dad. Somehow, I find it within me not to feel bad for him. Maybe it’s my own personal daddy shit that prevents this.10

Back at Sexy Unique Restaurant, the cast is still pretending they work there, and Lisa’s doing her obligated table greeting. Max Vanderpump-Todd got a $2,000 tip the night before, and that’s worth celebrating. Ariana’s leaving early because they’ve got a girls’ outing, and Lisa can sense that Ariana’s pissed11 about something. Ariana’s caught a whiff of what Kristen and Stassi were saying about Jeremy, and she’s upset. Scheana told this to Ariana, and Ariana can’t believe it, because he’s her brother, of course. I mean, Jeremy saved Sexy Unique Restaurant from burning down, and Lisa is endlessly thankful. She even gives him some money.

In case you didn’t know, the musical cue is “I came to get down,” so you know we’re headed to The Lion Tavern for a wild girls’ night out. Scheana and Ariana are greeted by Brittany and the rest of the girls. There are two factions - Ariana/Scheana/Lala, and Stassi & The Pussycats, but they’ve both come together because of their mutual love for Brittany. Stassi immediately asks how Ariana’s vagina was because thankfully we’re basically spared an entire scene of Ariana undergoing laser hair removal, and get like, ten seconds. Scheana immediately makes everyone uncomfortable when they’re all complimenting their own vaginas by being like “well, my boyfriend likes it, so.” Girl. Read the room. No one cares about Rob’s opinion of your vagina, they only care about yours.

Ugh, the patriarchy.

Lala brings up the Jeremy-shaped elephant in the room and calls Stassi out for trying to scare Billie Lee. Stassi claims she was being supportive, and Scheana’s like, “That’s definitely not how she took it.”

You know how I hate when Jax is right? I hate when Scheana’s right just as much.

Ariana tries to get them to bring up the wedding, and Stassi’s like, “I don’t want to hurt anyone!!!” It’s okay if she hurts people unintentionally, she just doesn’t want to do it on purpose. Scheana leaves because she’s got a curfew to return to her RealDoll box, and Katie immediately is like “IT’S MY TURN FOR CAMERA TIME.” She says that she got a lot of complaints at her wedding regarding Jeremy’s behavior, that he was even predatory. Ariana wants to snatch Katie’s wig as soon as she uses that word, and immediately defends her brother. Katie, being the ultimate in hypocrisy, tells Ariana she needs to advocate for those who can’t advocate for themselves right now. Katie is such trash because this is so pointed and so purposeful and so intended to make Ariana feel like a hypocrite. We get it, Katie, you hate Ariana and you really hate that she’s a better person than you are. Ariana reads between Katie’s lines, and Katie tries doing the plausible deniability thing and claiming Ariana misheard her. Lala comes and sits next to Ariana and tries to soothe her, but Ariana is so upset at this point that she’s seeing red.

I get why Ariana’s upset. She’s defending her family and Katie’s essentially saying she’s a bad feminist for doing so. I’m not saying Ariana’s right, and I’m definitely not saying Katie’s right. There’s a better way to handle this, but they should have known that with family involved, the emotions are heightened. Katie, you defend Schwartz’s shitty behavior constantly. Shut up. Ariana dismisses herself from the table and all the girls are like “Wait, sit down, calm down, what?” Stassi makes a false equivalency by saying Ariana can criticize Stassi all she wants under “hard truths”, yet Stassi can’t criticize Jeremy.

Because Ariana is not responsible for her brother’s behavior, and since she doesn’t know the entire story, she can only defend him. She’s not right for this. She could have listened more. But their issue is with Jeremy, not Ariana. The most feminist thing to do is to demand they hold Jeremy accountable instead of getting angry at Ariana for her brother’s bad behavior.

Over at Jax and Brittany’s apartment, Jax has a drum kit he’s showing to Tom Sandoval. Even Sandoval is like, “Man, you got spoiled for a guy who just cheated on his girlfriend.” Brittany is reinforcing bad behaviors by treating Jax like this. He’ll definitely cheat again if she continues to reward it. Tom decides to head over to Schwartz and Katie’s apartment because he needs to talk to Katie about what happened with Ariana. He calls it “complete and total bullshit”, because he’s Tom Sandoval. He’s never found a man he won’t blindly defend to the death.

Over at Katie and Tom’s, Stassi and Kristen have arrived and they’re going to make their own perfumes.

Are they making Delusion, by Scheana Shay?

Sandoval comes over and Schwartz immediately tells him to proceed with caution. Sandoval starts out and denies all of Jeremy’s behavior. Stassi and Kristen are continuing to maintain that Jeremy made them uncomfortable and Sandoval just... denies it. He literally says no, that didn't happen. He wasn't there, how would he know?

You don’t get to tell someone how they feel, Sandoval. You can’t just shoot down the way someone else feels. If multiple people are claiming to feel some kind of way about something, it might be worth inspecting. What do I know, though?

The most important part is when Stassi asks, “why would I lie about this?” When it comes to a lie, you always have to look at the side of the person who benefits from the lie. Stassi doesn’t benefit from lying about this, and neither do the millions of women who come forward with accusations of sexual misconduct. There is more to lose by coming forward, and literally nothing to gain. If you think they’re looking for a payoff, wonder who benefits from being paid to keep silent. Not the women. I once heard a story of a woman who came forward with accusations of sexual assault, signed an NDA and took the money, and then came to find out her NDA was so strict she couldn’t even talk about her experience with a therapist.

She attempted suicide because of it. Fuck NDAs, and fuck anyone who thinks that women who come forward about sexual harassment are looking to get paid off. There is no money that can erase that experience. And no amount of money is worth more than actual punishment. Sandoval doesn’t know what he’s talking about because he wasn’t there. Stassi’s tired of protecting men and Tom Sandoval tells her to watch herself. A man telling a woman to watch herself when she’s telling the truth is some Crucible bullshit. Tom claiming he’ll start telling truths about them if they continue to talk is just… sad, petty behavior.

Then again, Tom will protect every single move Jax makes if he can. It’s shocking Ariana, who is proudly pro-women, will put up with Tom, who is definitely pro-men in every single way.

Back at Jax and Brittany’s apartment, Brittany gets a call from her dad. Oh, and Brittany hasn’t told her dad about Jax’s cheating, even though she’s told her mother. She’s afraid to tell her dad because he’s gonna be upset. We get shots of Jax sensing something ominous in the air and listening in on Brittany’s conversation when she tells her dad Jax cheated on her.

Brittany’s dad is unsurprised. He can’t help himself. He has no control. Brittany’s heard this before from him, and that’s why she’s put distance between them. She doesn’t want her dad to “I told you so” her, but… he told her so. Brittany’s dad is a lot less unforgiving than Brittany’s mom, who is on her third marriage and continually tells Brittany to just put her head down and deal with it because she’s on TV now. Brittany’s dad wants him to grow up and get serious, and he doesn’t think that now that Jax is 485 years old if that’s really possible. If he wanted to grow up, he’d be grown up. Brittany’s dad is most definitely not on Team Jax.

Jax is like, “oh man, I’m doing so good at the drums now! What did your dad say? What did he say?” Jax isn’t upset about Brittany’s dad not liking him - he couldn’t give a fuck - he’s again, more upset that she’s “airing out their dirty laundry”. Talking to your parent about your relationship is not airing out dirty laundry. The fact that Jax was Brittany to isolate any conversation about him and his behavior is textbook abuser behavior. He only wants to talk about it with her so he can tell her how she feels. None of these other people have his side, only hers, so what do they know?

God, Brittany. Stop. This man thinks you talking to your parents about your problems is “dirty laundry”. No. That’s what they’re there for.

Brittany doesn’t want to deal with the pain and strife this would put on her family ever again. They’re already predisposed not to like him and she’s not trying to pile on. Jax promises he won’t do anything like that again (LIAR), but she’s not perfect, either.

Why. Are. Men. Like. This.

One of the reasons my ex and I broke up was his almost blatant refusal to see my side in things. Literally, one time we were talking, and I mentioned that the fact that does that bothers me. He apologized, and then immediately was like “well, you do that too.” And I burst into tears. I was already on edge, already frustrated at not being heard and not listened to, and here he was, making that my problem. It’s this stubborn need to always be not only right but right and justified in every situation. “It’s fine for me to do this because you do it too.” I’m not saying I’m right in my actions. But if I’m asking you not to hurt me, what’s so wrong with just apologizing?

Why do you need to say, “I’m sorry, but this isn’t only my fault”?

Brittany admits to her bad behavior and owns up to her imperfections, but Jax won’t. He’s like, “own up to it,” and she will. He tells her if she’s not happy, maybe she needs to move on. I don’t disagree, but this is just him trying to get out from under bad behavior. I do the same thing. “You chose to be with me, you can leave at any point.”

Jax just always needs to be the good guy. That’s Brittany’s problem. His need to be the good guy in his mind will always trump any of her feelings. Good Guys are just as bad as Nice Guys.

Lala, Ariana12 and Scheana head to the bar, where people are meeting them, namely Daddy Adam, who is my new bae. They’re all there to basically show Brittany that she doesn’t need Jax and that she’s swimming in a sea of hot dudes who want to bang her. Scheana knows that Jax is never going to change and the love of a good woman won’t do shit - he doesn’t deserve Brittany. Hottie Adam shows up and orders seven shots of tequila upon arrival. Brittany’s Out To Flirt and piss off Jax, and Adam is prime real estate.

Lala mentions her conversation with Stassi, and that she doesn’t think she’s out to get anyone. Scheana and Ariana are pissed at Stassi and Brittany’s defending Stassi. It’s charming, but only a tiny bit. Scheana’s drunk and takes Brittany aside for a drunken truth-telling. She tells Brittany the truth - you will never be able to change Jax, you don’t deserve to be treated like this, and you can do better. And Brittany’s main problem? She loves Jax. And she can’t just like, stop loving him. Scheana can’t understand her thought process on this, and Brittany can’t explain to people that she knows he’s wrong but she still loves him. Scheana doesn’t want Brittany to be where she is - 32, divorced and starting over from scratch.

Scheana knows what it’s like to lie to yourself and convince yourself it’s all going to work out in the end. It’s hilarious because she’s acting like she used to do this when she’s doing it right now. God damn, I love the producers of this show.

Next Time: Lisa doesn’t understand why Brittany’s still celebrating Jax, let alone taking him to Mexico for his birthday. Lala is “ready for Mexico” in that she’s… way too tan. Scary tan. We’re going to Playa del Carmen! Lala ain’t taking any of Jax’s shit. Sandoval needs to fuck off.

Random Assessments from the Desk of Amanda:

Y’all know I love Ariana and shit, but god damn, that red dress in the talking head? With the corset front? No. Ariana, take it off. Immediately. Trust me.

Meanwhile, Tom Sandoval’s talking head with the polka dot bowtie and the plaid pants? I love it. It’s so extra. He looks like a sexy butler.

Scheana thinks Billie Lee and Jeremy are fated because they both smoke weed.

Is Billie Lee the first trans person on Bravo? Bravo, Bravo, then.

I mean, Stassi and Kristen have a point to be afraid of being around Jeremy.

Okay, really - Brittany is losing sympathy for staying with Jax, and fast. The only way she can redeem herself is to dump him. She can’t keep putting herself in these scenarios and expecting a different response.

Hagrid from Harry Potter, for you Yanks. ↩︎

What part of England are the Kennedys from? Are they from Manchester? ↩︎

Who has taken to pronouncing “baby” like it’s two letters - “BB” ↩︎

Scheana is such a fucking Taurus. ↩︎

I won’t even tell people if I’ve applied for something exciting just in case it backfired. The minute you put something into words and say them aloud to someone else, they’re real. I don’t know where I got this superstition from. ↩︎

I love Brittany’s 2005 glasses so much. ↩︎

OH MY GOD HE ACTUALLY IS THE HOT NEW GUY AT SEXY UNIQUE RESTAURANT. Hellooooo, Adam. Adam, come to mama. ↩︎

In the words of Beverly Johnson, if you don’t have a top lip, get one. Have you guys heard my podcast yet? ↩︎

I’m choosing to think of him as Robbie Coltrane from National Treasure (Not the Nicolas Cage fantasy films, the British series about Operation Yewtree) and less Hagrid. Makes him easier to hate. ↩︎

Same reason I’ve never seen Finding Nemo all the way through but I can handle The Lion King. ↩︎

Read: a producer told her to ask. ↩︎

Dressed in only what can be described as “Beetlejuice for Pretty Little Thing.com” ↩︎

[flirting-with-psychology]

Would you convert to a different religion if your fiancé/fiancée was of a different faith? No

The world is ending, and you can save one group of five people: who would be the five people that you save? Mom, dad, best friend, SO if I had one, myself. I wonder if any of them would resent me though for getting 4 people I care about while they only get me

Is happiness a delusion? Is happiness only real when shared? Why or why not? No, it’s as delusional/real as any other emotion caused by chemicals in the brain

What would the cover of your biography (presumably written by somebody else who never knew you, postmortem) look like? Probably a picture of me. Or maybe of me with like 50 guys I like

Write about a really good or creative Tumblr URL that you see frequently on your dashboard. I-run-with-scissors-to-feel-dangerous. I’ve just always thought it was funny

If swear words were not things like “shit” and “fuck” what would they be otherwise? Whatever else society thinks is taboo

Write a very vivid description of what is/would have been your most perfect way to lose your virginity. What is your exact definition of ‘losing your virginity’? Also: will you/would you have liked to save your virginity for marriage? Why or why not? It would have been more perfect I guess to lose it with someone who was also a virgin, and we both cared about each other. My definition is the first time you have penetrative sex (unless you are a lesbian in which case I don’t really know because I don’t know enough about lesbian sex). I would not want to save it for marriage because sexual compatibility is an important part of a relationship that I would not want to leave up to chance

Write a six-word fortune cookie. You will buy another fortune cookie

Why do you think eyebrows exist? Aren’t they supposed to help prevent stuff from getting down into our eyes? Just like eyelashes, even though majority of the time if I have something in my eye it’s an eyelash… but yeah. Also, eyebrows are way of like communicating or expression. Like when you raise your eyebrows out of concern or surprise, or when you scrunch them out of confusion or anger. < What that person said

If you could only have one contact on your phone, who would it be? Crap idk

Your bucket list is limited to three items. Marry someone amazing, sing a duet, win an oscar

Do you wake up first or do you open your eyes first? Uhh wake up probably?

Write a love/thank you/appreciation letter to someone you take for granted. Thank you mom and dad for everything you do which I definitely don’t reciprocate

What makes you feel infinitely sexy? Good eye makeup

Make a video and talk about something for two minutes. Anything. And don’t edit out any parts of it. Lol nah.

Write a poem you’d stick on a refrigerator. Nah. You can look at my poetry tag

Are you afraid of aging? Why? Yes because I feel like I’m not taking full advantage of my youth and it’ll only be harder as I get older. And I’m afraid of getting too old to explore things romantically and just be expected to know what I’m doing

Describe one time you basically thought you were the shit, when your self-confidence was soaring through the roof. This is meant to be a positive thing. It was pretty high the summer before junior year when I was working out more. And it was also high sometimes in grade school when I always got top grades

If there was one person you could get drunk with and kiss and then later blame it on alcohol, who would it be? My friend who I work with on film projects. I don’t like him romantically enough to risk ruining how well we work together, so I’ve never pursued anything. But this scenario would actually be kind of great

Does perfection exist? If the word perfection did not exist, what word would be in its place? What would perfection mean instead? I don’t think perfection exists. Mathematically it could but in actual physics there is always error. And other types of “perfection” are matters of opinion which are not the same for everyone. I don’t know what word would replace it

The next book you see that has over 300 pages, open up to page 136. Find a sentence you like, copy it down, and then write about it. Na I’m sitting

Who makes you laugh the most? Captain

What is one thing that you are proud of, that you think lacks praise/lacks appreciation from the people around you? It could be a simple thing; it could be a secret thing. Most things I’m proud of get adequately praised

If you could accuse somebody of being fake/a bitch and not suffer any repercussions, who would you accuse, and how would you do it? I’d tell one of my friends that their SO is awful and that the relationship is toxic

What is the funniest one-liner Tumblr text post you’ve ever read? Idk bruh 

Rewrite a verse of lyrics from your favorite song. They have to sound good when you sing it out loud along to tune of the song. I wrote an entire Let It Go parody about essay writing. I’m not gonna copy it all here though, you can find it at tagged/frozen parody

If the SATs/grades did not exist, in what way should colleges/teachers evaluate applicants? maybe through actual work? <<<<

Do you feel at home in your home? Is home a place for you? A book? A thing? A person? What would you want your home to be? Not yet. I just moved in a couple weeks ago so it doesn’t feel like home yet. My room is getting there other than when there are spiders and I get all anxious, but the common areas still feel like their space since they’ve all lived there for a year. Home is generally a place. I also have a stuffed dog that makes things feel more like a home

Write your own eulogy. She was cool

What is something you felt like you deserved or should have belonged to you, but you never got? A relationship. It’s 2017. It’s time.

Do you feel ‘connected to nature’? Do you frequent outside? Do you believe that a connection with the earth we live on is necessary in the first place? Nope. Nope. I think that we should respect it but don’t need to feel connected

Your opinion on oral sex? It’s ok. There has only been one guy who really made me enjoy receiving, and giving is ok but I kind of avoid it when I can because I kind of gag on it and if they last too long which they usually do it kills the mood for me

If one TV show could be real, which one would you want it to be? Which one would screw our world over? Not sure. I’d want Harry Potter to be real but that’s not really a show. Something like The Walking Dead would screw us over

How many kinds of love are there? “There are all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald

Which word needs to exist (or be used again)? If it doesn’t exist how would I know about it?

What is the absolute hardest thing about staying alive? You need food, and for food you need money, and for money you need a job

What is a book that has been recognized as ‘great literature’ that you dislike? Why? Most of the books we read in school because a lot of them are slow and boring and anything interesting about them gets ruined by having to write stupid analysis papers

What is one change that you would make/have made to your life that will make/has made it better? Exercising more 

Is everything you do for yourself? Can you truly be selfless? I’m not good at being selfless

Are you the same person you were two and a half years ago? No, but similar

Can you possibly conquer the labyrinth? If that’s that shit with the dude with the eyes on his hands then nope

As a hyper intelligent pan-dimensional being, what is the answer to the ultimate question, the life, the universe and everything? What is the ultimate question? The pretension in this question just knocked like a week off my lifespan