#na jaemin x male!reader

[suunani]

color me yours ( na jaemin )

▍ jaemin made your tattooed arm his canvas.

content : 1200 words, male reader, added member!reader, fluff fluff and fluff again, reader is tattooed, not so bestfriend!jaemin, requested here <3

all you could hear was the faint hum of music coming from the speaker on your desk.

you were sprawled on your bed, one arm propped behind your head, while jaemin sat comfortably between your legs, leaning back against your chest.

his phone was perched in one hand, the screen casting soft light over his face as you both read the comments flooding in from your instagram live.

this wasn’t planned — jaemin had suggested it after dinner, claiming the fans hadn’t seen you in a while. you’d agreed without much resistance, too used to going along with whatever jaemin wanted.

now here you were, your arm resting loosely around his waist, your thumb brushing idle circles against the hem of his hoodie. it wasn’t intentional, not really, just something you did when he was close to you, a quiet reassurance that he was right there.

“hyung, someone asked who takes longer to get ready in the morning,” jaemin said, his tone light as he glanced over his shoulder at you.

“do we even need to answer that?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

jaemin tilted his head, his expression amused. “why? you think it’s me?”

“i know it’s you,” you replied, a soft smirk tugging at the corner of your lips.

the fans was eating everything up, of course. the chat was a constant stream of comments. jaemin scrolled through the messages, laughing softly at their reactions.

“they’re so dramatic,” he muttered, though the small smile on his face betrayed how much he secretly enjoyed the attention.

“let them be,” you said, your voice low.

you glanced at the screen briefly, catching a comment about how comfortable you looked together. it made your smirk soften into something quieter.

the two of you spent the next few minutes answering random questions, your responses blending into easy banter. jaemin had a way of making even banal topics entertaining, his voice light and expressive as he read off comments and shared his thoughts.

you mostly listened, occasionally chiming in with a teasing remark or a deep laugh that made jaemin glance back at you with that little smile of his.

at some point, an idea struck you.

“yah.”

jaemin turned his head slightly, curious. “what?”

“there’s this trend i saw earlier,” you began, your tone casual as you reached for your phone. “people are coloring their tattoos with markers. i thought it might be fun if you did mine.”

jaemin blinked at you, then tilted his head, his lips curling into a small smile.

“you want me to do it?”

you shrugged, keeping your expression neutral.

“why not? you’re always messing with them anyway.”

he rolled his eyes, but the way his smile grew gave him away.

“fine,” he said, scooting off your lap to grab a pack of markers from his desk.

he returned quickly, sitting cross-legged on the bed in front of you.

“this is gonna be amazing,” he said, already uncapping a bright blue marker.

you extended your arm toward him, resting it on his knee as he leaned in to inspect the ink. he hesitated for a moment, his fingers brushing lightly over the designs.

“your tattoos are really nice,” he said quietly, his tone uncharacteristically serious.

you didn’t respond right away, watching him as he traced one of the lines with his finger.

there was something about the way he looked at your arm — focused, thoughtful — that made your chest feel oddly warm.

“thanks,” you said finally, your voice softer than usual.

jaemin didn’t look up, already immersed in his task.

he started with the blue marker, carefully filling in the edges of one design. his brow furrowed slightly as he worked, and you caught yourself watching him, not the tattoos, but him.

his lashes were long, casting delicate shadows on his cheeks under the dim light. his lips were pursed slightly, the faintest hint of concentration softening his expression.

you wanted to say something, maybe tease him about how serious he looked, but the words caught in your throat. instead, you just sat there, letting yourself admire the moment.

“you’re staring,” jaemin said after a while, his tone light but knowing.

your ears warmed, but you kept your expression neutral.

“just making sure you don’t mess it up,” you said smoothly.

jaemin snorted, shaking his head. “please, i’m an artist. have some faith.”

you chuckled softly, leaning back against the headboard.

the chat was going wild again, but you barely registered it. your focus was entirely on him — on the way his fingers moved over your skin, on the way he tilted his head slightly when he was pleased with his work.

he switched to an orange marker, his fingers trailing over the design for a moment before adding color.

“i think this one’s my favorite,” he said, his voice quieter now. “the way it curves here…”

he traced the shape lightly with his fingertip before continuing.

“you sound like an art critic,” you said, though your voice lacked its usual teasing edge.

jaemin smiled faintly, not looking up. “maybe i missed my calling.”

the moment stretched out, easy and comfortable.

your hand found its way back to his knee, a subtle anchor as you watched him.

you noticed the little things — the way his hair fell messily across his forehead, the way his lips twitched into a tiny smile when he was satisfied with a section, the way he hummed under his breath without realizing it.

“done,” he announced eventually, sitting back to admire his work.

your arm was a colorful mosaic of patterns and shapes, his touch adding a playful energy to the designs.

you glanced down, then back up at him.

“not bad,” you said, keeping your tone light.

“not bad?” he repeated, raising an eyebrow.

you smirked, pulling him back toward you so he was leaning against your chest again.

“okay, it’s really great. you happy now?”

jaemin laughed softly, settling into your arms without hesitation.

“yeah,” he said, his tone smug but warm.

your hand rested on his waist again, your thumb brushing against the soft fabric of his hoodie as the two of you glanced at the screen.

the fans were losing it, of course, but for once, their excitement felt like background noise.

jaemin reached up to swipe a strand of hair out of his face, and you caught yourself staring again. he was glowing, his cheeks slightly flushed from the warmth of the room, his eyes bright with quiet pride.

you didn’t say anything, but your grip on his waist tightened just slightly.

“stop looking at me like that,” jaemin muttered, though his tone held no real annoyance.

“like what?”

“like you’re about to say something embarrassing.”

you let out a soft laugh, resting your chin on his shoulder.

“i’m not saying anything.”

“good,” he murmured, but he didn’t pull away.

the two of you stayed like that for a while longer, the live continuing in the background, but your world felt smaller somehow. quieter.

just the two of you, sharing space in the way only you knew how.

[kpopsexstories]

Could you write a Quick Fix Gay where Dom Tops! Jeno and Jaemin have a threesome with Sub Bottom! Male Reader?

QUICK FIX GAY #4: Dominant Tops NCT Jeno & Jaemin Fuck You Senseless

This is a 100% gay story. Check out this post for my straight smut and this post for more gay smut.

Pairing: Top NCT Jeno x Top NCT Jaemin x Bottom Male Reader

Content: Threesome, Missionary, Rough, From behind, Spooning, Standing, Handjob, Blowjob, Jerking off, Cumshot (Jeno's), Dirty talk.

Type of Sex: WILD

Word Count: 1,663

Three bodies stand tall on the bed, on their knees with their hands squeezing and rubbing the others. Jeno is positioned behind you, cock inside your ass and an arm around your chest, pulling you close against his full length. He fucks you slow – real slow – except when he forces himself deep into your hole. Each time he thrusts forward, it's abrupt and hard and accompanied by a deep-throated groan.

“Uhhrgn!” he grunts by your ear, before he slowly pulls back with a drawn-out inhale. “Uhhrgn!” he repeats.

The noises and size and feel of his dick make you weak.

Jaemin is beside you, lips planted on your neck. He nibbles, then bites. You feel his teeth sink into your skin and the light paint which turns you on.

They love to play and be rough with you. And you certainly love to be their submissive little bitch.

When Jeno is as deep as he'll get and is about to pull back again, you feel his hand and arm all over your front. Jaemin's teeth and lips leave your neck, and you hear them kiss passionately behind you.

Then the arm disappears, and a significant load is taken off your chest. For a moment you wonder if Jeno is focused on you or Jaemin. You get a clear answer when the hand returns to your upper back and the man violently pushes you forward.

“Get down,” he orders. You land on your hands, bed squeaking as your weight hits the mattress. But he doesn't stop there. “Uhhrgn, fuck yeah!”

Your elbows cave in. He forces your head into the pillow. He nearly breaks your spine like a twig when he leans in over you and the palm of his hand presses down on you hard.

“Uughnn!”

He starts thrusting faster. Jaemin's hard cock brushes against your side. His hands are exploring Jeno’s body as well as yours. You can feel and imagine the eager grins on their faces as they put you in your place.

Jeno puts his weight on your shoulder and grabs your hip to pull your ass onto his member. He finds a steady rhythm and fucks you like a wild animal, aroused by your muffled whimpers in the pillow.

“Nnhm, nhhm, nhmm,” you moan. They can hear the light pain in your grunts and they absolutely love it.

It turns Jaemin on so hard. He wants in on the action too. He gives Jeno a moment to fuck you wild, while he moves his hand up and down Jeno's outstretched back, arm, ass and legs.

He lies down beside you. He gently kisses your strained face and you briefly open your eyes, to see the sweet and broad-chested man up close and smiling. It takes the pain away.

He licks your lips and nose. His mouth touches your eyelids. His tongue slides down your cheek. For a second you feel Jeno leaning down and you can hear them when they kiss each other.

Then, Jaemin returns to you and finds your ear. The nibbles are back, and he goes as far as biting your neck like a vampire.

“Ouch,” you whimper, but it's not a complaint and Jaemin knows it. He grins, then opens his mouth wide and eats your face.

The length of his body is pressing against your side. He's pushing himself in, grinding and exploring, his hand squeezed between your lower back and Jeno's sinking body.

Jeno eventually decides to share. He sits up and pulls out, and Jaemin doesn't waste any time.

The man with his mouth all over your face quickly and abruptly pull you toward him. You roll on your side with your back against him. He squirms, humps, and lifts his knee to allow your ass to get real close to his groin.

You wait a second while he positions his dick. You focus your mind on the head honing in on your hole. Then you feel it stretch the rim, as Jaemin pulls on your hip and his cock fills the space that gave Jeno such an intense pleasure just a moment ago.

“Yeah, you're mine now,” Jaemin says and smirks behind you.

“Fuck you're hot,” Jeno muses somewhere above you.

“Yes, fuck my ass,” you whimper for their enjoyment.

Jaemin soon thrusts and pulls. He jams his cock in, pulls half way back out, and repeats the motion.

You bend your body forward on your side. You briefly see Jeno's towering body admiring your figure, and his arm up close when he reaches out to touch your skin. He explores your face, side, hip and thigh, while holding and stoking his own dick close to your eyes and nose.

“Oh yeah,” he says slowly, satisfied and aroused by your submissive nature. “Fuck, yeah.”

Jaemin too begins to moan lustful words that exude of desire. “Fuck, you're so easy,” he says happily. “Mm, let me feel your tight ass.”

“You like his cock?” Jeno asks with a grin. You raise your gaze to meet his eyes behind the blurred silhouette of his erection.

“Yeah,” you whisper. Jaemin fucks you faster and you close your eyes again. “Yeah, I love your cocks.”

Your upper body is slipping further away but Jaemin wants to feel you, all of you. He grabs your shoulder and pulls you back, then wraps a strong arm around your waist and chest.

His knee goes higher in the air, resting on top of your thigh. Jeno caresses and squeezes you both.

Jaemin’s hips thrust faster still, as he shoves the cock deep and hard into your hole. His lips return to your neck, and he licks and bits your skin while he fucks you.

“Mm, mm, mm,” he moans repeatedly by your ear.

“Fuck, so hot!” Jeno exclaims.

“Ahh, yes, fuck my ass Jaemin!” you weep.

Jaemin suddenly pulls hard on you. He rolls on his back and his arms and hands take your whole body with him. You end up on your back on top of him. Simultaneously, Jeno comes crashing down from the side.

You raise your head and upper back on your elbows and arms and spread your legs wide. You push your ass down onto Jaemin's crotch, and his hands take a firm grip around your hips. He holds you steady while thrusting hard and fast into the hole, groaning louder than ever behind and below you.

Jeno quickly finds your hard dick. He grabs it, kisses it, then swallows it whole. He bobs his head up and down, sucking it hard while Jaemin's dick is going in and out of your body just below his face.

“Yes, fuck!” you exclaim when Jeno's lips give you an intense pleasure, and Jaemin’s dick rubs you in just the right spot.

“Ahh, ahh!” Jaemin pants behind you.

Jeno looks up and your eyes meet. The expression on his face reveals what great joy you give him.

“Ahh, I'm gonna come!” you suddenly exclaim and throw your had back.

“Me too!” Jaemin grunts behind you.

Jeno sucks you harder while Jaemin's hands go up and down your sides. When he isn't holding you firmly your ass bounces on his crotch, your dick pushing far into Jeno's mouth.

Then the hands return to your hips and hold you still again. Jaemin's ass bounces on he mattress while your steady hole brings him ever close to the edge.

Jeno takes your dick out of his mouth to jerk it fast with his hand.

“Ahh, fuuuck, yes, fuck my ass, I'm coming, I'm co-ooming!” you scream.

You push your ass down hard on Jaemin's cock when you release. Jeno pulls his head back and observes the eruption between his fingers. You shoot your load onto your stomach, and when you finally open your eyes you see him smirk and pant right next to it, while grinding his crotch and boner against your leg.

Jaemin has reached his peak too. He digs deep into your skin when he comes, then abruptly let's go and exhales deeply. You're too numb to feel his cum inside you, but the strong sensation of his pulsing release feels wonderful.

Jeno keeps smiling wide. Then, when your muscles relax and you sink down on top of Jaemin's equally spent body, lust returns to his eyes.

He sits on his knees beside you and strokes his cock. You get up, Jaemin's still hard dick slipping out of your hole, and approach the flapping hand. Jaemin quickly joins you. Soon Jeno is towering over you both, looking down at two eager faces ready to receive his hot load.

He doesn't last more than a few seconds. Your eyes flicker between his expression of pleasure and the dick head which waves right in front of you. He groans loudly and his eyes open wide, himself eager to see the display and your reactions.

His cum arrives suddenly and with force. It spurts out onto your face. You instinctively close your eyes to protect yourself, and you feel Jaemin's head pushing in to get some of the action.

“Holy shit!” Jeno exclaims above you. He's panting hard, his fit chest and stomach moving in and out in long strokes.

“Damn,” Jaemin chuckles and wipes his chin with the back of his hand.

You laugh when he turns to look at the cum dripping down your nose and lips. Jeno too chuckles, satisfied and drained.

You reach for something to clean yourself with. Jaemin throws himself back on the bed, stretching out while catching his breath. You join him and cuddle up in his arm.

Jeno helps clean you up, then he too lies down beside you.

“Fucking hell,” you say with a big smile.

“That was incredible,” Jaemin concurs.

“You're such a little slut,” Jeno grins and you playfully slap his stomach.

Jeno and Jaemin want a submissive bottom to play with, and you're more than happy to have been the object of their sexual desires.

[star-suh]

Jae-Mean

Na Jaemin x Male Reader

cw: idol au, top jaemin, pwp, sex toys, excessive use of lube, reader is part of dream, fingering, dumbification.

an: he's getting so big, need him asap 😵‍💫

—

“are you ok yn?” asked renjun patting his back, “yeah i'm ok.. just a bit tired” he answered while catching his breath. all the members were practicing the dance for the new comeback but everyone realized that yn looked strange, well everyone except jaemin who tried hard to hide his smirk “yes yn tell us if you need a break” said jaemin with fake concern in his voice.

no one knew about it but yn and jaemin had a relationship based only in sex, as a way to “relieve some stress”. 

jaemin is a bit mean with yn when it's about to sex, for example, one time he marked him everywhere, that when the fans saw one of the hickeys yn had to lie saying that an insect had bitten him, or that one time that just before an interview jaemin fucked the other mercilessly and he had to endure the pain for more than an hour while sitting.

“i think i'm going to my dorm to rest a bit” said yn getting ready to leave, “wait let me help you” jaemin offers himself while running towards yn.

“you're a psycho.. jaemin”, sighs yn, “i can't hold it anymore”; “come on ynnie just a little more” jaemin smirks again patting his back “it'll all be over soon”...

in the dorm, yn was with his face on the bed and ass up while jaemin was fingering him. “shiiit yn, you did it so well holding in all this lube”. his fingers going in and out, soaked in lubricant, while the rest dripped little by little from the dilated hole of the smaller one “you're gonna pay for this jaemin” whimpered the bottom, hiding his flushed face on the mattress, trying to hide the moans.

jaemin just smirked, continuing fingering out the lube and with the other hand stroking his cock “shush ynnie just relax and let me take care of you”.

minutes after going to the choreography rehearsal jaemin called yn and made a bet with him, “come on don't be boring, what’s so hard about keeping half a bottle of lube inside your ass. just imagine the sounds it’ll make when i fuck it out of you” he whispered that last part near yn's sensitive neck. “what the fuck!” yn yells “you're a sick pervert”; “i will buy you food for the rest of the month” jaemin added… “deal” quickly answered yn.

“here i go”, jaemin scooped some of the lube that was in the bed sheets and smeared it in his big veiny cock “i'm gonna fuck out all that lube out of you” he slowly put the tip inside and then slammed himself making the bed squeak and drawing a muffled moan out of yn. jaemin was fascinated by the sounds caused by the excess of lube "it feels so good augh.. and .. fuck.. so wet.. shit, i won't be able to control myself yn".

he thrusted so hard that some of the lube splashed and landed on yn's back and jaemin's abs. yn kept his face down on the mattress, jerking himself, “i love how you act so feisty against me but as soon as my cock enters you, you become the most submissive whore in all the world” jaemin blurted out, yn clenched his hole when he heard that, “i felt that you whore” he laughs.

the taller was gripping so hard that he left marks on each side of yn's waist, “come here” he grabbed yn by the shoulders pulling him towards him, now yn's back was leaning on jaemin's chest, "damn you look so fucked up" he mocked. yn had hooded eyes and some drool falling from his mouth, his face was still the same or even redder than before. “i can't take it anymore” he cried.

jaemin lay down on the bed letting yn ride him but with a vibrator inside his ass. "hold on a little longer yn, now just focus on riding me" said the top. little did yn know that the vibrator inside of him was one of those controlled via an app, an app that jaemin was searching on his phone “found it” he murmurs and press the button with the number 1 right away.

“oh my fucking go-” yn rolled back his eyes, the vibration sending shivers to his whole body. on the other side jaemin was trying hard to hold in his moans, the vibrations sending waves of pleasure to his shaft. “fuckkkk~” yelled the taller when he pressed the number 2 button, the vibration increased therefore the stimulation too, jaemin could no longer control himself, he's now growling like a wild beast while yn tried not to cum.

the phone slipped from jaemin's hand and when he tried to grab it he accidentally pressed the number 5 button…

they both had an orgasm at the same time thanks to the vibrator at maximum speed, jaemin's cock squirted lots of sperm into yn's ass, some of it sliding down his shaft and falling to the sheets. yn also came, his cock spurted a lot too and some of it reached jaemin's face. “take it out jaeee~” begged yn, the overstimulation hitting them both “i fucking.. caa~an't i feel so.. weak” replied the taller.

luckily the battery of the vibrator died so it stopped minutes later, jaemin’s cock slipped out of yn's ruined hole along with the vibrator. feeling so tired yn fell on top of jaemin falling asleep with the other doing the same seconds later. 

[mins-fins]

beyond the moon !

"you aren't about to lose such a worthy position to some hunky nepo baby".

synopsis: breaking news: the worst possible person you know is actually more than half decent in bed. of course, it's an easy slam dunk. you will begrudgingly admit that jaemin is pretty nice on the eyes—even if he has the personality of a barbed wire. it's a match made on this soul sucking earth. it's only a little perfect.

pairing: na jaemin x male!reader

genre: alternative universe, main hospital scenery, somewhat grey's anatomy fusion, interns the fic, strangers to rivals to rivals who hookup to friends who hookup to lovers, fluff, some angst, slightly suggestive tones, humor, crazy ass pining that's barely realized until 10k words in, some background relationships that provide other drama

warnings: swearing, explicit language, so many mentions of sex, almost tiptoes into borderline smut like five times, sexual humor, reader and jaemin are both equally emotionally underdeveloped and horny, drinking, the impending stress of the medical field, mentions of death, a bunch of medical jargon you probably don't care about, mentions of surgical procedures, some blood.. i think thats it

word count: 16.7k

notes: hello, merry christmas, happy one year anniversary to my hyuck work which started my whole nct saga on tumblr.. im afraid i am very mentally ill 😓 so!! surgeon jaemin!! originally surgeon jaemin was a serial killer but then i lost wave of that draft over the summer and i tried to do it again 😚 this was half based on early greys anatomy because why the fuck is that show so long and um my own life lowkey?? ofc im not sleeping with my fellow interns but i have seen too much of a hospital i have begun to see the white corridors in my fucking dreams.. save me please life has not treated isa mins-fins well 😭😭 and NO dont listen to user junjiie this is not a self insert i swear!! im still going to the hospital later today soooooooo i lost anyway 🤷‍♂️ lowercase intended as usual and last long work of the year 💖

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 1: do ethics matter when the dick is good? (hyperbole.. actually not)

frankly, it began on a mundane tuesday.

well as mundane as a tuesday for you could be, a week following getting dumped would typically be dedicated to mourning but guleum grace hospital is equally as busy each particular day. you did not underestimate the sheer amount of regular patrons at hospitals, your internship was all about that in fact, pouring your blood sweat and tears into some amateur surgery you had about a twenty five percent chance on performing correctly, however, any chance was any chance.

it isn’t as if you were some lunatic brisked with insanity who valued his work in an irregular fashion, you’d surmise that you were a regular workaholic, the epitome of an overworked medical student stereotype, it all sucked the soul out of you, though your scrubs remained spotless and the eye bags stuck in a much acquainted manner.

unfortunately, your heart attack inducing student debt won’t allow for you to simply quit, neither will your pride, your extent of competitiveness, and your bright need to prove your overbearing parents wrong.

getting into a deathly inviting internship program is enough, what’s shit is surviving, and surviving would be easy if not added on by such a nuisance.

what nuisance? you may ask, well the nuisance that so happens to b—

“present the case l/n”.

you somehow retain your sigh, if the distress is displayed through any means of visibility then doyoung merely doesn’t give a shit. “uh— samuel lawson, fifty two, has been in and out of hospitals four times in the last three months with complaints of sporadic, mild to moderate pain in his chest. we picked up on a heart murmur and his echo showed left ventricular hypertrophy with a repolarization abnormality”.

“what would you recommend?”

“the best course of action is to replace his aortic valve with a porcine valve and prescribe anticoagulants to improve the prognosis”.

“good, and why do we want to pay attention to his kidneys in this situation?”

“his kidneys?” you echo, former exhaustion manifesting in the unscathed widening of your eyes. there’s a whistle, lee donghyuck opting to feign forgetfulness to your very presence, as if he even knows the answer.

you aren’t as easily absentminded, you’ve been hard of thinking recently, read all those printed words yet none of them stuck to the confines of your brain. there’s then a sigh, you initially assume from doyoung, but of course it isn’t.

“ah dr na, how kind of you to join us, perhaps you could remind me of the answer?”

arms folded over his chest, jaemin doesn’t miss a beat. “since his heart isn’t functionally effective his kidneys work as a compensatory mechanism, we’ll need to take increased renin and aldosterone secretions into account when considering general anesthesia and how soon he can go into surgery”.

“i see somebody has been doing their homework” you graciously avoid his eyes, glowering in jaemin’s direction as he offers a meager eyebrow raise. “good job na, you’ll definitely be scrubbing in”.

you pray for his early death.

it’s a seamless lesson whilst interning, competition is everything; you love competition, you live for it even, and na jaemin just so happens to be the nuisance which troubles your every week.

it’s something to even survive your first year of interning, let alone in time for when the seven year residency rolls around. only the best become surgeons, a perfectly manufactured system that is definitely not flawed and has most likely not been the cause of many related mental breakdowns.

you’ve had some undisclosed issues out with na jaemin since the beginning of your program, his awareness manifests in his knowing glances, if swiping cases from under your feet and making your life as hellish as possible is equated to diverting entertainment, na jaemin is elated. at least he has the familial connections to ensure the acclaim, the regarded son of na kiwoo, one of the most well revered orthopedic surgeons in the country. now you aren’t petty enough to spew the claim that na jaemin is bad at his job, he isn’t, however, you are petty enough to state the fact that him getting extra time to redo the practical board exam would’ve never been granted to anybody not with the same fucking last name.

and you suppose somebody else could also reign as worthy competition, but you’re conceited, unabashed in the likeness of your own smarts, you didn’t brave the trenches of medical school to lose such a worthy position to some hunky nepo baby.

~

it’s about half past twelve when huang renjun stumbles into the on-call room.

“you drinking on the job?”

he glares, you smile, there’s something concerning his anger which gets a satisfying kick out of you. you were sat at a desk, overloading on coursework you’d give not even a mere glance toward once you got home, the placid diagrams of human arteries burned into your brain. you spent most of your day, resounding to most of your shift, hanging about downstairs in the E.R, handling skimpy stitches from those who couldn’t help but do something idiotic on a saturday morning. who knew? you’re aware dr. kim probably holds a much lowered opinion of you; however, you still preserve hope that he’ll allow you to scrub in on that upcoming LVAD replacement he has scheduled for later in the week.

“can you believe who got to scrub in on that corpus callosotomy?” his undertone indicated irritation, you did not have to take a glance backward, you could distinctly picture the snuggle frown tugging at his lips.

“can i buy a vowel?”

your response earns a hefty scoff, the ghost of a smile lingers as you take in his much visible exasperation. it appears he wants to look intimidating, but his docile like features do not sell such a point home. “kim wonil, can you believe it!?”

“oh really?” you click your tongue, the raise of an eyebrow paired with the raise of a nearby head, it’s lee jeno’s, you make out. “wow, maybe i should start sleeping with mark lee too”.

“well it’s not like anyone knows if they’re sleeping together— he’s basically just his protégé” what a gentleman lee jeno is, feigning unawareness at the whole thing.

“uh huh, me when i’m fucking the only attending neurosurgeon” you seethe. “seriously, you think he’s taking any under the table offers?”

“you’re an asshole”.

you simply blow renjun a kiss.

whilst renjun may be adamant on the whole civilized pursuit, you would say that sleeping with one of your bosses basically equates to getting favored treatment, you suppose your wavelength on that won’t ever change. “is that coursework?”

your eyebrows raise once renjun leans over your shoulder, you don’t make an effort to nod your head. “that’s coursework, what the fuck are you doing?”

“i’m not about to have a splitting headache at home, trying to keep my sanity intact, you know”.

“more like wither your sanity— oh, hey jaemin”.

“hi” jaemin allows renjun the decorum of a smile, because for some reason renjun is the only other intern he has the gall to treat in the manner of a regular human being. he settles in the bed across from you with a look and doesn’t even try a glance in your direction, muttering a small greeting to jeno.

“do you want ibuprofen? i have some in my locker” renjun mutters softly.

you wave a dismissive hand. “no, i’m seriously about to max out on painkillers right now”.

“maybe it’s a tumor” jaemin unexpectedly adds, he doesn’t look up from a book.

“you wish”.

“i do”.

“it could be a caffeine headache” jeno helpfully reckons from where he is across the room, leaning up on his elbows to give you a sympathetic look.

“or the stress” renjun decides. “or your just sleepy because of the stress, i’m getting tired because of the stress” he then makes his way over to the dormant bed and flops right onto it.

“tumor~”.

“why the fuck do you care?”

“i most certainly do not”.

“drop dead asshole”.

“guys..” jeno weakly begins, glancing between you two as if silently picking a side.

“sorry” you feel little remorse towards the tumor hopeful fuckface, simply for everybody else. “the exhaustion is making me mean”.

it appears that a nearby zhong chenle utters the insult of you’re always mean somewhere above you, and then the room grows claustrophobic for you in about five more seconds.

when your chair emits a high pitched screech, renjun’s head rises. “where are you going?”

“gonna find something to do”.

then you shuffle out of the on-call room, feigning ignorance at na jaemin’s continuous stare.

~

later that week, the one person you observe when you walk into the on-call room on wednesday for your mid-shift nap is na jaemin, the current bane of your existence. you’ve been bumping shoulders in the O.R for the past week, and you’re beginning to think that the world is attempting to kill you early, those mystifying forces rambled about in storybooks manifesting whenever his name happens to appear in your mind.

you pause once you step in, meeting his eyes for a charged second before clenching your teeth, they’ll probably begin bleeding soon. you starkly consider backing out, but you can’t surrender your pride to this guy, that would be letting him win, so you sigh and lean your back against the door.

“i’m just here to sleep,” you voice. “waving my white flag”.

“you should be thanking me”.

you’re baffled. “excuse me?”

“i’ve saved your ass like twice this week, god kim would’ve literally eaten you alive if i weren’t around”.

your mouth dries up, jaemin seemingly revels in such a factor, swinging his legs sideways and out of the bed. “you’re terrible under pressure it’s a wonder you even made it through medical school”.

your left eye twitches, the one singular time you try to be civil, he just— he just decides to..?

“you’re so infuriating and arrogant and selfish—“

“oh really? love it when you talk down on me..”

“and you’re so— annoying god why does everyone like you? i hate you, hate you and your stupid privilege and i couldn’t care less what you think because you’re a fucking suck up! stop backing me up if it makes you so mad”.

jaemin then blinks, slow. “finished now?”

“yes” you drop your arms at the side, breathing having gone shallow as pure fury swirled in your ribs. you hate what jaemin does to you, whatever the fuck this is and why is the rooms temperature skyrocketing? that should be impossible in a hospital of all places, but you shouldn’t give it much thought because jaemin will probably begin over analyzing the singular movements of your facial expressions.

you hate feeling like you’re losing, you feel like your losing even if there’s no prevalent competition, it’s just.. jaemin.

that’s really why.

“good” jaemin replies. “i hope you don’t mind”.

and when he pushes you up against the door you think exactly three specific things in the second it takes for him to do that. 1; jesus this guy goes to the gym how the fuck are his forearms so huge? how is he finding time to hit the gym with such a consistent shift? 2; you should’ve gotten more words in cause oh he got the last laugh, and 3; you suddenly remember you never followed up on that post-op for patient 3109– but then all of those thoughts fly out the window when jaemin leads forward to kiss you.

na jaemin is kissing you, full on lips, hands-on-your-waist kissing you, and all you can do is suck in a breath as you then release a soft sound.

jaemin is ridiculously good at this, all soft despite his rough edges, how funny. he pulled off, taking your bottom lip with him before diving back in.

“i meant everything i said” you pant, even as jaemin pressed you further into the door and your arms wrapped around his shoulders in an effort to continue. you exchanged in a similar manner, frenzied and practically leaning half of him backward with your sheer force.

“i know” he grunts, so effortless in all he does, thumb finding the gap in your uniform which he very much decided to exploit. “but you want me anyway..”

“fuck you”.

so smart y/n, you’re getting into heaven with that one—

he chuckles as he mouths against your neck, light open mouthed kisses along your jaw, tugging at your shirt which acted as an obstacle. “that’s the goal”.

“smart ass”.

“well..”

it was the first and only time.

it actually should’ve been the first and only time, but then again, your decision making is particularly fuzzy.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 2: he’s a hotshot, so unfortunately a hotshot..

you’d been skilled enough to pick out your friends at guleum grace hospital on your first day. frankly you had met a good chunk at the intern mixer the hospital had held a week before you were all due to start, but you were the slightest bit nervous with the whole before day apprehension. lee jeno was an easy one, his timidly boyish attitude made for good company, smile replicated by his eyes as he hung around the refreshments table. he laughed at every single one of your jokes, he was sympathetic to your family predicament, much too familiar with such a thing.

lee donghyuck was similarly not a struggle, he seemingly mirrored many of the traits you found stuck to you and carried around throughout your turbulent adulthood. he clung to your side and assigned you the duty as his titular “person”, whatever that meant.

then there was huang renjun.

it isn’t as if he was unapproachable, per say, he was simply perpetual to consistent avoidance. he exchanged regular smiles yet didn’t divulge any further, somewhat unfriendly and argumentative, especially when donghyuck got on his nerves.

trivially, the only true reason you two became friends is because you assisted him in vomiting up his guts after he’d got a lashing for a mistake in the earlier days. your hand remained on the small of his back for the entire fifteen minutes, and when he finished unleashing his true extent of vulnerability upon you, he threatened you to keep your mouth shut, that threat just so happens to be the bow which ties the knot to your relationship.

renjun is able to refer to the patients as the human beings they are, sensitive and overly stubborn sure, but he’s decent under all the sour looks paired with plentiful insults.

zhong chenle? in a completely different league.

“fifty bucks y/n’s little conquest works at this hospital” he opts to enter, sliding into the spot beside you and exchanging a few looks as if he dumped his life savings onto the table for you to gorge on.

“fifty bucks my wha— how’d you even..?”

“aeri likes to gossip” chenle replies, full of cheek. “and a little birdie told me they saw you leaving the on-call room all flustered”.

“a little— who?”

“i can’t tell you my sources”.

“what if i just had a really good nap?”

“thirty bucks it’s an intern” renjun decides to add on, and you blink his way in sheer betrayal. yes they’re right but you didn’t divulge your weeks ago on-call room hookup story time to anybody, you just.. thought about it.

“that’s what yizhuo was saying! you know we have a bet right?” he digs through his pocket before pulling out an unscathed piece of paper. “let’s see we have dr suh from plastics, yeonjun, dejun, and our very own nepo baby na jaemin, pretty good don’t you think?”

“why is jaemin on the list? take jaemin off the list,” though you swipe for the paper, chenle’s got some fast ass hands.

“no no hear me out, okay? he has my vote because the tension is undeniable but i’m on your side and i don’t think you’ll give into his whims”.

“what whims?”

“his seduction tactic including starting petty fights?” renjun recalls, blinking in your direction as if attempting some newly discovered form of communication. “he probably gets off on that..”

“oh he does!”

and then they begin, you simply sigh as you make the effort to finish your lunch, acquainted with the leftovers you again had to heat up because there was little time for you to actually cook something new.

“jaemin’s a freak, wonil said—“

“we can’t trust anything he says, he’s literally fucking dr. dudebro” you steal a fry off chenle’s plate, humming along with your bite.

“i thought they broke it off?” renjun asks in denial, though his gleaming ‘i knew it’ look would completely beg to differ.

“oh come on! everybody knows they’re still fucking, no mystery, no thrill”.

renjun crinkles his nose at the display of crudeness, you don’t forget to recall the thirty bucks he entered into this godforsaken betting pool. “can i kill him?”

your hands raise in mock surrender. “not in front of me, we swore an oath of peace” you rise from your place and keep your plate in your bag. “besides there’s no mystery, no thrill”.

“don’t leave me with him!” renjun squeaks. “where are you going!?”

you do not let up the walking, however, you allow him at least one reassuring smile.

“to see a guy about a thing!”

~

in a rare act of perfect timing, you’re just able to sprint to the elevator as soon as it’s closing. by the power of the universe’s most evil, jaemin is the only one inside, and he blankly stares as you hold your folders out to hold the door before ducking in. you hit the button for the sixth floor and begin panting as you lean against the wall.

jaemin barely spares a glance, but his smile says everything. “back for more already?”

“did you tell anyone about us?”

he opts to chuckle at that one. “us? we sleep together once and you’re already thinking there’s an us baby?”

“shut the fuck up, na, like half our class is in a betting pool for when i’m going to let you into my pants so i swear to god if you told anybody i’m going to ship you to the O.R and harvest all of your fucking organs”.

the threat shines brightly above him, smile shimmering. “i’m sure you’d love to do that”.

his smile is endless and the point by which his stare begins is simply dark, it’s that stupid dead-eyed stare that could murder anyone just by one mere glance. if looks could kill, your insides would’ve been splattered all over this elevator currently.

finally, jaemin rolls his eyes.

“christ, relax, no i didn’t, i definitely don’t know anything about a bet either”.

you let out a much needed breath and again allow yourself to lean against the wall of the elevator. the only worse thing than people thinking your friends with jaemin is people thinking you’re actively sleeping with jaemin. well— okay you suppose there are worse things to be known for but being pegged as the intern banging na jaemin is definitely up there.

“i meant what i said by the way, that was a one time thing”.

“of course”.

“stop fucking smiling like that”.

it appears to be his innate need to ensure your irritation, his smile barely resists the clear urge to grow at the sight of your frown. “god, thought you liked my smile?”

“it’s never happening again” you insist. “no more sex, not with you anyway”.

“great” jaemin replies. he finally does turn to face you. “so when you say never again are you actually making a definite final decision or are you simply playing hard to get?”

“what do you think?” you retort, you’re two floors away from your destination, the lab reports you’re clutching much vicely resulting in sweaty palms.

jaemin licks his lips, all high and mighty. “i’m sure you don’t want to know what i’m thinking”.

you look up to meet his stare in a singular effort to glare equally as hard, it’s futile. jaemin’s got the eyes of a predator, as if he’ll pounce if you attempt a single move out of this elevator, it’s striking, his eyes trail all the way up from your terribly expensive shoes and up your body, stopping at your mouth.

he seems pleased with himself, tipping his head forward when the elevator dings at your floor.

you allow a squint, briskly leaving him behind. it’s only three steps out of the elevator that you realize you left him without an answer, therefore leaving him with the last word, but you conclude you’ve walked too far to shout, yet it seems jaemin has no qualms.

“you know where to find me!” he calls.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 3: good sex is addicting! healthy? eh..

naturally it happens again..

and again,

and once again.

if you were in a better place of mind, perhaps if you didn’t contain loads of work on your shoulder and slumped with courses of continuous caffeine, you’d find the right mind to chide yourself for making such a stupid decision, but you’re simply a selfish and desperate man. this is like— the best sex you’ve had since undergrad, not that there were many good examples to be the judge of that one anyway (with little offense given to shotaro, he’s a sweetheart but you two barely ever got it on as it is).

the thing is, you’re beginning to have a little fun with it. sure, you’d felt as if you were betraying yourself after the second or third time but it’s now become its own little adventure. sneaking around and whispering in the hallways in tandem with disappearing into random storage closests is fun.

jaemin is merely jaemin when it’s all over, barbed wire esqe jaemin with a personality you’d liken to some miserable children’s movie villain.

but it works, it isn’t as if you’re doing this because jaemin has a to die for personality, you’re doing it because you’re stressed, despite the fact that he is probably the main contributor of such stress, he at least helps you relieve that stress.

“somethings up with you,” jeno makes apparent when he walks past the couch, casual, conversational.

droning on the television is some nature documentary you don’t recall turning on, acting as background noise as you observe the surgery dr. kim assigned you. you technically aren’t allowed to bring your work home but you’ve also always enjoyed poking holes into rules, you bring your teeth down on a goldfish cracker that you’ve had between your fingers for about five minutes.

“what?” you finally reply.

“you seem different” jeno rewords graciously. “brighter, less.. porcupine-y”.

“i can be mean if you want,” you decide. “you want that puppy?”

jeno turns red, continuous head shaking as he clears his throat. “i just meant— i don’t know, you seem a little less miserable than before, not all grouchy, i’m happy for you”.

“pfft— thanks, always knew you loved me nono”.

his chagrin at such a nickname manifests in his much particular nose scrunch, his arms folding over his chest stubbornly. “don’t call me that.. so anyway, what changed?”

“hm?”

he leans over the couch, staring you down suspiciously, unnaturally nosy. “you can’t just decide to not be miserable overnight, what happened?”

you tilt your head up at him. “i’m getting to scrub in on proper surgeries, and i’m getting laid!”

jeno appears surprised, though gladdened anyway. “oh really? so who’s the guy then?”

you squint at him. “chenle put you up to this?”

“what?” he seems taken aback, but equally completely caught. “no?”

you open your mouth to rebut that clear lie, yet you’re both interrupted by lee donghyuck barreling into the room, looking too good for a regular saturday night, fancy overcoat draped over his arm that he definitely stole from renjun.

“stop looking at me and help me put this on” he motions towards his empty wrist and a fancy looking bracelet.

jeno simply whistles lowly.

“where are you going dressed up like this?” you inquire in the manner of a scrutinizing parent. “you got a date?” you don’t miss his avoidance of eye contact once you actually fasten the thing around his wrist.

“..yes”,

jeno applauds happily, much too excited, as if he were the one going on a date.

“give us a spin” you chide.

“seriously?”

both you and jeno nod in unison.

donghyuck begrudgingly obliges.

“you look good” jeno states.

“very good” you ruffle his hair irritatingly, and he hisses as he bats your hand away, muttering his small thanks. “have fun!”

you make sure to blow him a kiss on his way out, donghyuck makes sure to slam the door on his way out.

jeno then turns to you. “can i guess your guy’s name?”

“no!”

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 4: secrets out eventually!!

you suppose you had to eventually tell your friends at some point, of course that would include admitting zhong chenle is right and that sucks the life out of you for a much identifiable reason. the other three are bound to find out about jaemin soon enough, because whilst you’ve never been a talker, it’s getting annoying to do the constant walk of shame to jaemin’s apartment.

“i’m really trying to understand what your problem with me is” jaemin grins, all teeth, perfectly straight purely white fucking teeth. you’re back in the closet again, you can’t help but surmise that there’s a joke in there somewhere.

“i thought you didn’t care?”

“i don’t, it’s simply so cute how you get angry, kinda turns me on”.

you decide to ignore that one, wiping your mouth over with the back of your hand. you then focus on getting your shirt back to its original, somewhat normal looking form, god you’re so reckless.

“i’m just saying.. if you put effort into actually getting to know me we’d actually be pretty good— fuck ow!” he winces in the manner of a kicked puppy, all because you twisted a piece of skin between your fingers.

“i’m not interested in getting to know you, thought i made that clear” you voice.

“only thing you’ve made clear is that you believe it’s your god given right to hate me since no one else does”.

“oh you make me feel so special, i’m sure there’s someone else in this world who hates you as much as i do”.

“sure y/n” jaemin begins, “i find it hard to believe you actually do hate me” he nips at your ear, you really shouldn’t let jaemin kiss your neck, but you don’t push him off, he’d throw a hissy fit.

just as his hand begins venturing downward the closest door creaks open, and you two jump apart as if you’ve been caught, standing in the doorway is none other than lee donghyuck.

“what the fuck?” he whispers, quickly closing the door behind him. when he steps into the dingy white light, you notice the wet tears against his eyelashes, everything else is erased from your mind.

“hey” you begin, voice soft. “what’s wrong? did something happen?” you smooth over your scrubs.

“nothing” his voice gives it away. “we can’t cry mid shift anymore?”

no, but donghyuck hasn’t cried over a patient in a while, that’s typically your prerogative.

“it’s wonil” he sniffs. “stupid fucking kim wonil,” he sits down on an upturned bucket, once you kneel beside him, he pulls you into a hug to bury his tear streaked face against your neck. “i’m gonna have to change my name and transfer to gwangju instead!”

you look over donghyuck’s trembling shoulder at jaemin, who appears just as clueless as you are. he instead opts to patting the small of his back in support, rubbing soothing strokes. “could i have some elaboration, babe?”

“he used me” he says, holding onto his sobs. “took me on a stupid fucking fancy date and then i caught him with mark lee— oh my god, he.. he lied to me, he said they broke it off months ago but that obviously wasn’t true and he kept scrubbing in on the important surgeries, i thought he— we were going out for months and i just, fuck i feel awful y/n”.

well that’s.. not what you expected to hear at all. your head spins.

“wait— wonil? that’s who?”

“can we not talk about that part right now?” he simply allows for the tears to free fall, you attempt to wipe them as best you can.

sure, it’s nothing.

“did he tell you? how’d you even find this out?”

“no he didn’t i saw them” he covers his face with his own hands, distraught. “and he didn’t even care..”

“then none of it is your fault” you assure, patting the side of his arms. “he’s an asshole”.

it doesn’t quell donghyuck enough, his shoulders continuously quivering. “i had a bad feeling, i really should’ve known better—“

“he’s a cheat, he should know better, don’t beat yourself up over this”.

“i fucking loved him y/n” he rests his head onto your shoulder, something twisted and horrible lodged in his throat, tears endless.

~

it’s raining because of course it’s raining.

“it’s storming pretty bad” jaemin quips, conversationally. “do you not want me to call you a ride?”

you simply allow a small breath to escape your lips, hair tousled as you slip your jacket on through your arms. “nah, the bus works just fine” you say, wiping your hands on your pants despite your much irritation.

“and i’m guessing you don’t want to wait until it’s let up either?”

“i have to get home cause jeno’s working late and— hyuck’s alone, don’t want him to be..” you mutter, glancing down at your watch as you crinkle your nose at the time. “he’s been baking since the whole wonil thing happened, need to make sure he doesn’t burn down the apartment”.

jaemin doesn’t have to put anymore work into convincing you. “alright, have fun”.

you do the typical before leaving checkup, you have your keys, your phone, cash, and a bus pass, good. it’s silent, awkward, not much of a regular conversation when he isn’t bending you over a table.

but there’s something you really need to know.

“hey jaemin?”

“hm?” he doesn’t look up from his phone.

“should we talk about.. this?”

“well talking about it makes it weird”.

you consider your next words very carefully. “i’m lonely, you know”.

jaemin then puts his phone down. “i’m lost”.

you’re unaware of why exactly you feel the need to divulge context about whatever your relationship happens to be, you keep thinking back to donghyuck and you remember the liabilities caused by workplace relationships. you’re afraid you can’t stomach another complicated relationship, situations that wrap around your head in a nauseating fashion. not that jaemin is boyfriend material or anything but—

“the first time we hooked up? in the on-call room? i did it because i just got off a bad breakup and i was stressed and.. you were my first option”.

jaemin remains frozen in his place, gaze pointed, chest perfectly accentuated in his shir— stop looking there y/n. “what i’m trying to say is that i was desperate and it��s important you know that because—“

“get to the point”.

“i don’t want this to.. you know, be more than what it is, like.. domestic and shit”.

“oh jesus, okay y/n” he pinches the bridge of his nose, as if you irritated him. “you’re asking me not to fall in love with you right? you could’ve just said that then”.

“it sounds stupid”.

“and your other option sounded better?”

“whatever, i’m going, good talk”.

“great talk”.

“stop trying to get the last word in”.

“i’m not trying to do anything”.

“goodnight”.

“don’t say things you don’t mean”.

“fine, i hope you have a terrible one, i hope your roof catches on fire and you sleep through it and it all comes crashing onto you so your death is all slow and painful, happy?”

jaemin smiles, waving you off with each of his fingers as you storm out of the door, into the pouring rain, slamming it shut behind you.

you take a short walk and an even shorter bus ride home, yet when you enter your apartment you’re absolutely drenched.

the whole house smells of sugar and semi-baked sweets, it almost reminds you of home, back when you’d fuck shit up with your sisters in the kitchen. the now added on pain is the continuous ringing of the fire alarm, donghyuck standing at the counter fanning smoke with an empty box of brownie mix.

you sigh as you kick off your shoes.

“what the hell did you do?”

“i have it under control” donghyuck whines.

“hyuck—“

“don’t step any closer” he threatens, butter knife in hand.

your hands raise in mock surrender, a flat look sent his way. “you’re being ridiculous”.

“sorry” he puts the knife down, breathing labored. “help me?”

you two sit down on the kitchen floor and have brownies and ice cream for dinner, an ironic feat for a pair of medical professionals, but this is simply one of those things licensed under free will you have as an adult, the kind of thing that makes you think maybe parental supervision is a good need. besides, sugar is good for heartbreak.

“i don’t wanna go to work tomorrow” donghyuck mutters, beginning to consistently tap his head onto the counter, as if attempting to bash his brains out. “this is so stupid”.

“it’ll be fine, i’m sure no one will question you up front”.

he glances upward. “my former sort of boyfriend is fucking the most popular attending neurosurgeon, and people think i was homewrecking whatever the hell they have going, you think people just forget that?”

you lick your spoon clean. “yeah it’s not looking good,” you admit, scratching the back of your head. “but i’m here to help you through it, and samoyed will be there to bark at anyone who looks at you funny”.

donghyuck gives a weak laugh and leans his head onto your shoulder. “yeah yeah, whatever..”

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 5: fuck the domestics, fuck na jaemin.

of course because the universe has a really good sense of humor, mark lee and kim wonil are the first people you and donghyuck see when the elevator dings on the first floor. wonil looks at a loss for words, you’d pride him on such amusement if you weren’t looking to cause him bodily harm.

“uh” mark starts.

“we’re taking the stairs” and since you’re a good friend you do not complain when donghyuck drags you up four flights of stairs.

in his valiant efforts to stay away from neuro, donghyuck gets assigned to obstetrics for the day, whilst you end up back with dr. kim in cardio, which is always a simultaneous blessing and curse. the patient you’re seeing—kiara— has been going back and forth on getting the surgery for a while, and doyoung seemed more than relieved when you showed up with those signed consent forms.

you worked your ass off to get onto this case. you stayed up late all night reading into the procedure, designing a diagram which detailed the surgical process despite the fact that you wouldn’t be carrying it out yourself. observing a complex surgery like this is a rarity for interns, so you intend to soak up every bit of knowledge you can.

so, by design, you’re also standing beside the operating table when her pulse dips, her clutched hand falling dormant in your hold. after the frenzy of orders getting called out and defibrillators charging, there’s nothing but the long, insistent beep of a flatline.

dr. kim calls out the time of death.

realistically, nothing could have been done. she’d waited too long to take the surgery, her vascular walls were weak. it was the best surgeons in the room, and if they couldn’t save her then maybe it was just her time.

you break down in the tunnel despite all of that, you’re sitting on one of the beds against the wall, aware of your own ridiculousness, yet allowing for the tears to brim up anyway.

the only reason kiara was terrified of getting that surgery was because she was afraid of dying on that table, she was scared of dying, and you’d held her hand while they put her under, promising she’d be okay.

that was the mistake.

patient outcomes are never promised, and as much as they remind you, as much as you’re aware that this is in your line of work, death just so happens to spring up on you instantaneously, you can never really fully prepare for it.

“she was going to die anyway” you don’t have to glance up to meet the face behind the voice, simply acquainted with the sight of jaemin’s shoes.

“i know”.

“so why are you sitting here feeling sorry for yourself?”

you sigh, massaging a finger to your temple, your head hurts, it all hurts. “go away” another sob pushes itself up out of your chest, another sniffle, more snot.

but would na jaemin ever genuinely listen to an order? absolutely not. he did not go away, he stepped closer, a hand gracing your shoulder.

your own shoulders slump, you’re completely and utterly disappointed in yourself.

“i don’t need you to say anything,” he breathes. “i’m just telling you that it’s okay..”

“it’s not okay” you seethe. “would you have made the same mistake? would you be in my position if it was you?”

you take everything too personal, you need to start thinking like a surgeon, there’s no room for sensitivity in a field like this, dr. kim had said. he made you break the news to her family, have to watch the washed over expressions and the chorus of sobbing as you attempted to contain your own.

“well i wouldn’t have gotten attached..”

and it sounds so condescending, lowly, superiority reigned over your head. you’ve had a terrible day, and all you can do is sob in your own pity as jaemin just stands there.

it’s so easy to get swallowed up in your pride, tout your pigheadedness in front of jaemin on a regular front with spouted curses and illusions high. you suppose jaemin doesn’t have the best standards for you, you didn’t even do anything, but the fashion of your personality you’d displayed was enough of a case.

“y/n” jaemin calls, soft, you almost don’t hear him. the mattress dips with his added pressure, a hand coming to touch the side of your face, fingertips cold as they tuck strands of your hair behind your ear. jaemin’s hands are always cold. “y/n, hey”.

you don’t respond, can’t do anything but let jaemin pull you against his chest. it’s an odd feeling because it’s the thing you needed from the last person you expected to give it to you. you exhale shakily, closing your eyes and reveling in the prospect of being held.

“you suck at this” you sob, on principle of course.

“hush” jaemin murmurs. he rests his chin atop your head, and he says nothing more, doesn’t even pull away either. you cry until you have no more left to give, your shift isn’t quite over yet, you have charts to finish and labs to read over. you push at jaemin to let you go.

“m’fine” you sniffle, posture straightening as you wiped the tears from your cheeks. you feel reckless, embarrassed, like a child. your face is burning hot, but at least you feel better. jaemin is staring, as if he’s experiencing a certain thing for the first time.

you look away.

“i’m fine” you repeat. “don’t look at me like that”.

jaemin clears his throat as if snapping out of an episode. “i know you don’t care for my opinion, but i think you’re doing great”.

“you what..?”

jaemin nods, doesn’t elaborate on any of it, it’s awkward.

your pager beeps, and once you glance down at the location, you silently curse at the location being half across the hospital.

“right, um thank you, i guess i’ll.. uh, see you later?”

“you know where to find me”.

jeno seeks you out first once your shift is over, apprehensive as always.

“you okay? i heard what happened..”

“yeah m’fine” you pause before the doors to allow jeno to catch you, donghyuck and renjun won’t be done for another hour, and it’s once again pouring outside. “i just need to shower and sleep for fifty hours”.

jeno is already looking at you when you glance over. you’ve heard your fair share of stories concerning surgical failures, much too close to one when in your childhood, but experiencing one firsthand just really took it all out of you.

“i’m going to get better at this surgeon thing right? i have to?” you ask.

“you will” jeno replies, silent. he links your fingers together, a warm feeling. he then nudges you, the slightest bit of comfort in the affection laced gesture. “we both will”.

~

there’s a small switch flip after that.

jaemin remains jaemin. perfectly polished jaemin, hardened in the face of death, all precise and unphased, yet you lay your heart bare for it all, fortitude at the forefront of your emotions.

occasionally, you find yourself looking over at jaemin when he’s too engrossed in his work or conversation to notice.

when you observe him, you attempt to figure out where the fortitude of his beating organ lies. it appears jaemin acts in kindness when he thinks no one else is looking. you wonder if that’s a true display or if that’s simply another mask he wears around for the hell of it, getting into the sweet spots of littler kids is a spectacular move. then again, it takes a special kind of evil to be mean to kids. sure, jaemin’s a bit of an asshole, but he isn’t all bloods evil.

that isn’t such a hard concept to grasp.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 6: running out of terrifically timed titles

the tumultuous disarray of your life provides solace, somewhat regular sex escapades with jaemin continue and donghyuck is often too tipsy once you get home from your shifts later in the week. you surmise he’s simply coping with his situation in manners he’s accustomed to, though both you and jeno would love to chide him for the unhealthiness, you two also can’t talk, ever since you found that unlimited espresso machine in the second floor cafeteria, it’s basically become your life source. jeno will scold you for that one when he eventually finds out, though it’s good to know jungwoo doesn’t mind, simply passing you with mild apprehension whenever you go grab another cup.

you guess you can’t talk about anything, but you also can’t help worrying about your friend.

“l/n, did you follow up on those scans i asked for?” dr. kim unabashedly ambushes you whilst you’re in the middle of a good speed powered walk, files almost tumbling out of your bundled arms.

“uh— yes, they redid them so they aren’t blurry, and i also put in that psych eval you requested, i have all of them here”.

“nice work, will you be available to scrub in tomorrow morning?”

you blink at him, baffled. “i— oh my god yes, thank you um..” you honestly didn’t expect that one after the prior incident with kiara. you assumed for sure doyoung would stand between you and the O.R for a couple of months.

“is there a reason you’re still standing in front of me?”

you blush, embarrassed. “i’m sorry i just.. i know you don’t think i’m cut out for this so I’m unsure of why you chose me”.

for a slim moment, there’s genuine in doyoung’s eyes. “well i’ll have you know opinions can change, will you move out of my way now”.

you pause. “of course, sorry, thank you, i appreciate it”.

“you’d better” he beams, placing yet another stack in your arms. “could you drop these off at the nurses station for me?”

you make your way back downstairs, still reeling from the previous words said to your face, when you hear a familiar voice.

“is dr l/n here? well, no— he’s an intern”.

you look up from the nurses station immediately, catching a glimpse of osaki shotaro’s identifiable tuft of hair, golden blonde, still dyed. he hasn’t changed since you last saw him, well you suppose a few months really don’t provide anything substantial in the area of change.

“taro?”

when he glances up, he breaks into one of his bright smiles and he parts (hyperbole) the hallway to get to you. “y/n, hey, hi”.

“what— what are you doing here? is everything okay? is your mom oka—“

“i’m fine, everyone’s fine it’s just.. i mean— i don’t know actually i was just nearby and i wanted to see you? i know i’m the one who broke up with you and all but i was sure there was a high chance you’d be here instead of.. well anywhere else”.

“yeah” you laugh. “yeah that is true”.

“it’s nice to see you” he fiddles with his bracelet, reaching over to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear, a natural habit, you grab onto his wrist before his fingers can grace your skin. shotaro pauses for a moment, cheeks colored pink in embarrassment as he slips from your hold.

“sorry— i um.. can we just talk actually?”

your face warms rather quickly. “uh..”

“oh hello” jaemin appears—literally out of nowhere—“are you here for a patient?”

“no actually he was just leaving—“

“i’m shotaro” he tilts his head to read jaemin’s id card. “you’re.. dr na?” he extends his hand for a handshake, jaemin ignores it. you almost want to tell him off for such a thing.

“yes, you must be the boyfriend”.

“ex boyfriend” you both say.

jaemin inhales a bated breath, handing you a stack of files. “jungwoo said to give these to you, the chief needs all the records manually inputted before you get off your shift today”.

“but—“

“we’re all splitting work, that’s your stack and this is mine”.

“i’m supposed to be having lunch” you frown.

jaemin shrugs, nothing of helpful. “do them after, i don’t care, i’m just the messenger”.

“it was nice meeting you”.

“sure” jaemin flashes a noncommittal smile, then, as quick as he came, he’s gone.

“is he always like that?” shotaro inquires, you sigh, much loudly.

“yeah, kind of, at first glance..”

“so lunch! can i treat you?”

you chuckle. “well i can’t leave so i hope you don’t mind hospital food”.

it’s (surprisingly) a very enjoyable experience for you.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 7: coupling 1000

on tuesday, lee jeno walks into the locker room looking slightly askew, yet completely elated, brightened in some unusual fashion.

you let out a low whistle. “now what the fuck has you so happy?”

“nothing”.

“is it a guy?”

“no!” jeno refutes, the bright red hue paired with the shrill squeaked ‘no’ do naught for his argument. “it’s not that”.

“you have that after guy glow”.

“you’re insane”.

“he’s right though” jaemin wraps an inviting arm around his shoulder, jeno full on pouts. “you look awfully stunning this morning, jeno”.

“fuck?”

“you’re okay”.

“damn, why’s it feel like every intern in this hospital is getting some but me?” donghyuck grouches, you instantly share a look with renjun.

at the inevitable silence, donghyuck groans again. “don’t answer that”.

“yeah cause you’d only be told the obvio—“

“good morning~” kim jungwoo sings, much too delighted for the time of day. “glad to see all of you interns actually in on time, l/n and na you’ll be helping mark prep his patient, zhong and lee one you’ll be in the pit, and.. huang and lee two on charts, any complaints? wonderful! get going!”

mark lee has the discontented mannerisms of a teenage boy, awkward stutters and all, you often neglect to recall that he’s a revered surgeon prided for performing some of the best brain operations in the country, technically your boss.

you haven’t spent much time around him, you actively avoid kim wonil for the sake of donghyuck’s (and your own) sanity, looking into the eyes of mark lee, he appears bashful, shyly boyish in a manner akin to a formerly stranger lee jeno.

“guess he’s still avoidant”.

you snort, jaemin sucks his teeth, you then sigh with your tongue prodding at the side of your cheek. “well he can’t look at you without thinking about..”

now that you think about it, you’ve never really had a conversation with kim wonil, what’s even with the guy?

“oh” his face drops in that distinct kicked puppy fashion, you merely sigh.

“just give him space, okay? he’ll surely come around”.

“space.. really?”

“space is good” jaemin chimes in. “and either way he’s not your intern, we are, can we go now?”

he’s always been ever so impatient.

~

yang jungwon is a twenty year old college student with a tumor pressing down on his frontal temporal lobe. “it’s affecting his impulse control,” mark warns. “so if he says something a bit forward, that’s why”.

“forward?” you question.

when mark, you and jaemin walk into jungwon’s room, his mother is sitting beside his bed, smoothing over his sheets with her hands. mark bids them good morning and introduces you two as the interns which will be overseeing the surgery, the first thing jungwon says is:

“jesus you all are hot, is that requirement here? why are you all so hot? are there more of you?”

“jungwon” his mother softly chides.

forward, you hum, jaemin only makes an agreeing noise beside you.

“sorry, was that rude? i’m very sorry”.

“he’s usually shy” his mother explains. “he doesn’t mean to be offensive”.

“no offense taken ma’am, that’s probably the nicest thing a patient has said to us in a while” mark replies. “how are you feeling won?”

“my mom’s nervous so now i’m nervous and the food here sucks by the way, i don’t really wanna have brain surgery but i have to be optimistic so yay!”

“that’s the spirit!” mark cheers. “okay, dr. l/n here is gonna run a couple of tests to make sure everything is okay, dr. na will handle all the paperwork, if you still want to proceed i can have you scheduled for O.R two bright and early tomorrow morning, i’ll make sure everything goes smoothly for you okay?”

“can i get snacks from the vending machine to make it go smoother?”

“i’ll do it” his mother offers. “don’t give dr. l/n a hard time, okay?”

mark leaves with jaemin and mrs. yang to grab snacks and necessary consent forms, you begin putting on your gloves to give jungwon a routine examination.

“dr. l/n can i ask you a question?” jungwon asks.

you remove the stethoscope from your ears, giving him a small smile. “go ahead, i’m all ears”.

“well it’s more of a personal question” he twiddles his thumbs, smile stretched widely as he tilts his head towards you. “are you two like.. together?”

“me and who?”

“the other, other hot doctor with all the teeth, the one who was in here just now”.

“me and.. na?”

“yeah, is he your boyfriend? he was looking like he wanted to eat you, i was honestly getting worried by how intense he was staring”.

that shocks a fit of laughter out of you. “no no, he wasn’t—he’s.. he’s not my boyfriend”.

“oh okay, well if nobody’s told you yet then i’m a hundred percent sure he wants to jump your bones, and also be your boyfriend”.

you clear your throat, flustered by jungwon’s sense of earnesty. “we’re not together, just coworkers”.

“do you have a boyfriend?”

you sigh and lean forward, pressing two fingers on either side of his neck to feel for a carotid pulse. “you’ve said the word boyfriend an awful lot in these past few minutes,” you pause. “no i don’t”.

“okay” jungwon says. “this is going to sound a bit presumptuous, but if i survive the surgery, will you go out with me?”

you skillfully sidestep such a question. “that’s not presumptuous, dr. lee is one of the best brain surgeons in the country, he’s going to make sure you come out just fine, your most likely outcome is positive”.

jungwon stops, blinking up at you, galaxies in his pupils. “i think we might be soulmates”.

“yang jungwon”.

“that’s me”.

“you’re cute, and sweet, and funny— but i absolutely cannot go out with you”.

“is it the brain damage thing? i’ve been told that’s a dealbreaker”.

“don’t be cheeky, how old are you again? twenty?”

“twenty going on twenty five”.

you laugh. “you have your whole life ahead of you to find a soulmate, people don’t really have a good time dating me, you’ll be dodging a bullet”.

“what, why not?”

“won—can i call you won?”

“you can call me anything you want..”

“won” you stress, “i spend about eighty hours a week in this hospital, i barely have time to eat or sleep or even think about anything that doesn’t include cutting someone open, my last boyfriend dumped me for that reason, i couldn’t do that again, and i definitely don’t think you want to”.

“ah i see” jungwon says, he’s silent for a while before he asks: “you’re saying it would make sense for you to date someone who works as much as you do, like another doctor, right?”

“well that wasn’t the point but i guess that makes sense then”.

jungwon smiles as if he’s figured out something. “so do you like dr. na then?”

“dr. na is standing right there” jaemin chimes in. you two both turn to see him standing in the doorway, “i have consent forms, i already went over the procedure with your mom, i’m aware mark probably covered it with you, but if it would make you more comfortable i could go over it with you myself”.

both you and jungwon stare at him.

“what?”

“is he always like this?”

you smile in his direction, giggling as you ruffle his hair. “yeah”.

“didn’t peg you as the type to flirt with patients” jaemin utters later in the nurse station whilst you two idle around in feigned ignorance as if you don’t have mountains of work weighing on your shoulders. jungwon had personally asked for you to scrub in on his surgery, and it’s clear jaemin was just the slightest bit envious, you would be too if in his shoes. mark’s surgeries are always the most fun to watch.

“i wasn’t flirting, he was simply asking invasive questions so i entertained him, he’s a nice kid, it’s called having good bedside manners”.

“are you saying i don’t have good bedside manner?”

“your words, not mine”.

“i don’t care, you were definitely flirting back”.

“i thought you didn’t care?”

“i don’t”.

“well there’s your answer”.

jungwon comes out just fine, you and jaemin however, you take a while to recover.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 8: well i guess he’s fine..

at the end of the week you typically only prefer to gorge on the junk food remained tucked in your refrigerator and embrace the warmth of your bed, but everybody knows you don’t always get the things you want, especially you in your kicked rock of a life.

“are you ready?” renjun bounces on his heels, changed out of his scrubs already, breathing down your neck in an effort to fasten your process of changing.

“what are you all doing tonight?” jaemin inquires, suddenly nosy.

“well i wanted to go home to eat ice cream then sleep all night, but since it’s the last wednesday of the month and we have tomorrow off renjun wants to go do karaoke at the local bar”.

“it’s kind of our tradition!” jeno offers, he’s sat down on one of the benches, lacing up his dunks. “you should come with us, drinks are half off until midnight”.

“you should come! it’ll be so fun, y/n has the voice of an angel”.

your cheeks color red in embarrassment. “well actually—“

“stop trying to be humble now, just admit it” renjun then turns to jaemin. “please? you literally never hang out with us”.

you can’t see renjun’s face, but you know he’s using that pleading puppy look to sell his point.

you watch jaemin crumble in real time.

“alright, guess it couldn’t hurt”.

what hurts is your throat after demolishing a flurry of early 2000s hits. now your ears are beginning to pain as renjun, donghyuck and chenle go head to head, they’ve rapped to super bass three times in a row, and donghyuck continuously doubles over in laughter whenever chenle messes up a single lyric. you aren’t complaining though, this is about the happiest you’ve seen donghyuck in the week, it makes you feel all warm seeing him laughing and all full of bashful insults.

jaemin has been nursing the same beer since you’ve arrived, tucked away on the couch in an effort to not participate in such nonsense. it dawns on you that you normally don’t hang out with him outside of the hospital much, and you wonder if he even has friends outside the hospital.

before you stop yourself, you’re wriggling out of jeno’s lap and making your way over to jaemin. he looks over when you get close, eyes traveling from the loose neckline of your shirt to your face.

“hiii”, you greet.

“hello, you’re drunk”.

“just a little” you giggle, hiccuping on nothing. “you look all moody and broody in the shadows, are you not having fun?”

“i am, you guys are just..” jaemin pauses, again glancing back at the scene before seemingly taking back a few words. “i am”.

you hum, whistling in the air. “i need some fresh air, come with me?”

jaemin nods, following behind you in the manner of a shadow out of the establishment. you two end up sitting on the sidewalk, chilling air offering you solace as you attempt to sober up.

it’s chillier than it was before, but you bask in the cold instead, short sleeves acting as nothing of a barrier.

“that was quite the performance back there” jaemin says quietly.

“thank you, yeah i can’t compare to donghyuck but singing is.. you know, just a hobby”.

you shiver offhandedly, jaemin observes for a while before offering you over his jacket, caging it around you in his lingering warmth. you yearn to comment on it, he practically dares you to, so you take it in silence.

“you know what would be amazing? a hot spicy bowl of kimchi jjigae”.

it’s been a while since you’ve been able to cook a genuine meal, the shifts take it all out of you and turning on any kitchen appliances gives you anxiety after a long shift. eating is a whole shove and go sort of a thing, you don’t pay much mind to it anymore. “now why would you put that in my head? i’m hungry” you whine.

“i know a good spot near the hospital, their stuff is like home”.

you ignore the mention of home.

“you’re just making it worse”.

“sorry” jaemin is not sorry. “maybe we can go together after work sometimes”.

“oh, like with the other interns? that’d be nice..”

jaemin looks caught, he swallows down nothing. “no i mean.. just us”.

you freeze. “oh”.

“what? having sex with me is okay but dinner is completely out of the question?”

“no” you reply defensively. “it’s just— us, you know? we can’t even go a few words without arguing, we don’t do dinner, the only thing we have in common is that we’re stuck up surgeons, we don’t do dinner”.

jaemin presses his lips into a flat line, the kind of thing he does when he’s looking for something nice to say. “we’re friends”.

you almost lurch forward, perhaps drinking was not a good idea. you blink, completely knowing of your upcoming decision.

“you know what? yeah, let’s get dinner”.

“right now?”

“no time like the present!” you shout, holding your hand out for jaemin as you rise from the sidewalk. he takes it, intertwining your fingers as you haul him off the ground,

“what about the others?”

“they’ll be fine” you excuse. “come on”.

you realize belatedly that it’s about midnight, which means most, if not all restaurants serving kimchi jjigae are closed. you two end up at the popular twenty four hour ramen spot instead, and you take time to sober up as you two wait in line. hanging off jaemin’s arm, you simply allow your head to lean against his shoulder, the other making no room for little complaints, you’ll regret being all clingy in the morning, but for now, it’s all up in the air. the waitress who seats you eyes you in that knowing way, she thinks you two are a couple, you decide to not correct her, there’s no benefit, she ensures a comment about how cute you two are.

“first thing i want to do after getting my license is..” jaemin begins. “treat the uppers at one of these places, like a celebratory dinner”.

“ramen for surgeons?”

“basically”.

you hum, tongue hot, all warm. “you wanna split this with me?” you inquire, referring to the takoyaki before you on a plate.

“can you even eat all that?” jaemin poses, clicking his tongue as he eyes the spread of appetizers. you aren’t a quitter, especially after a week of subpar meals you didn’t even bother turning on the stove to create. you raise your plate in his direction, offering a takoyaki ball which he takes a stab at.

“have you always wanted to be a surgeon?”

jaemin sighs. “we don’t have to do this”.

“do what?”

“the thing where we ask each other questions and pretend to care about the answers”.

“i do care” you press. “aren’t we friends? answer the question, minjae”.

“is that supposed to be a nickname?” jaemin grumbles. you’ve always had a knack for nicknames, jeno your main victim. “it sucks”.

“answer the question”.

he sighs again, but this time he’s smiling. “i mean, guess i always had the feeling, i was obsessed with that surgeon game when i was younger, i would sneak into my dad’s office and read up on all of his procedures, i read a lot of his stupid textbooks and was hooked forever”.

“oh”.

“yeah”.

“well it probably helped your family’s full of doctors huh?”

he pauses. “not really”.

you stop for a moment. “your dad is na kiwoo, he’s crazy good at his shit, he invented a whole new way to transplant bone marrow! your uncle is literally the chief of surgery at the hospital we intern at!”

you probably appear nerdy, you scratch the back of your ear, somewhat embarrassed. jaemin stares, clearing his throat. “my parents didn’t want me to become a surgeon”.

you are absolutely gobsmacked, jaemin goes through the effort of physically putting your jaw back in its place. “seriously?”

“absolutely, they did everything to make sure i wouldn’t get into the medical field, wanted me to get some bullshit sports scholarship, they refused to pay my tuition and basically said i ruined their dreams of having an olympian son so i went no contact”.

you scoff. “god”.

“right” he grins, though there’s little genuine. “i tried so hard to get into any program that didn’t have to do with guleum but look where i ended up”.

you blink as you attempt to process the influx of information. “but you’re destined for greatness— you’re your parents’ legacy”.

he dismissively waves. “it would be great if they cared, they have their noses buried in their work, can’t believe they thought i wouldn’t take it personal”.

“you’re still mad?”

“what do you think?”

and then he chuckles. you deliver a small smack to his shoulder, along the lines of an affectionate gesture. “they’re dickheads, you’re gonna be one of the best surgeons in the world, besides me”.

jaemin is now the one who’s surprised. “did you just compliment me?”

“hm.. think you’re hearing things”.

“sure” he stops. “so what about you, then? what got you into this program?”

your nose scrunches. “my sister, she always had complications growing up but she had to get a lobectomy when she was young because she had a tumor, after that she couldn’t talk for a while, we spent a lot of time at the hospital so that’s where the interest came from”.

“i didn’t know you had a sister”.

well you didn’t exactly care. “i have three, never a moment of peace”.

“oh i bet”.

your expression falters for a moment. “dad and mom didn’t want me to, get into the medical field that is, they thought i couldn’t do it, said it was a future depicted in failure and that i’d quit at the first loud shout”.

“you? quit?”

he appears genuinely shocked by such a revelation. “are you surprised?”

“kinda” he mutters, opting to glance directly at you. “you’ve always been so persevering, can’t imagine you quitting anything”.

you shrug. “they weren’t around much, i had to kinda fend for myself with three girls running around”.

“well you did it didn’t you?”

“yeah, all those my little pony reruns and sugar cookies” you muse, shaking your head. “i should not know as much as i do about that show”.

jaemin laughs at that one, and you can’t help the pride which swells in your chest. you belatedly realize that you’re enjoying this conversation, you two haven’t had a petty fight in a while, go figure.

“you aren’t that bad”.

“surprise”.

“so why are you so hellbent on proving it then?”

“preconceived notions go a long way, people hear my last name and think seven thousand different things, it gets tiring trying to prove them wrong, i don’t care anymore”.

but if his voice is anything, then he definitely does still care.

“okay so how exactly do you plan on getting home?” he inquires to you, leftover bags swinging in the light wind.

“the night bus”.

“you don’t drive?”

“i would kill myself” you blurt, and jaemin snorts. “don’t laugh, highways are terrifying, besides, the bus is empty at this time”.

“do they really run now?”

you stare flatly. “of course they do, i memorized the running hours”.

he has half a mind to giggle at that one, you then grab onto jaemin’s hand as you drag him towards the nearest bus stop.

your building lights remain blindingly bright once you finally reach your stop, jaemin following behind you in the fashion he always does.

“you really didn’t have to walk me”.

“i needed to make sure you’re in safely” he emphasizes, as if that makes any sense, he opts for an eye roll to sell the stubborn bit.

“aww, what a gentlemen you are minjae”.

he grumbles at the nickname, though his smile threatens to jump up at every glance.

for the first time since you and jaemin eloped, you take a glance at your watch, shocked at it being half past two already. “don’t you have work today? why didn’t you say anything?”

jaemin shrugs, flatly, very jaemin. “you guys were having fun, my shift’s at noon, it’s fine”.

“okay well, goodnight?”

“goodnight,” jaemin replies, and he leans forward for a peck, it’s short and sweet, by the time he’s done, you realize all too late, cheeks gone red as you instead blink.

“uh” you begin, very intelligent y/n, stellar. “that was.. um—“

“you okay?”

“no! i mean— yes i just, that was nice it was nice..” you exhale, “can i have another one?”

jaemin gives in, cupping your cheeks and drawing you in for another kiss. it shouldn’t go on for as long as it does, but you’re much too embarrassing to admit such a thing, instead you let him do it again, and again, and again, all soft against your lips.

“we probably shouldn’t do that again because..” your lips attempt to twitch up, you try to fasten that sincere expression on your features. “well you know—“

“right, no domestic shit” jaemin smiles, all teeth, so cocky.

you refuse to give him the satisfaction of a smile, turning towards the entrance in order to hide it. “goodnight”.

“goodnight” jaemin lingers for a moment, as if he wants to say something more. however, it appears he changes his mind once you glance back at him, he mirrors your turn back and begins walking off.

it’s not until you put the leftovers away and begin undressing for your shower that you realize you forgot to return him his jacket.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 9: the crush-not-crush phase

jaemin does the friend thing exceptionally well, he relays obscure anecdotes that you giggle at and sneaks in slight jabs when doyoung’s in the middle of an important sentence that has you nudging him in the stomach with your arm.

like right now, he’s droning on about a moment when a nanny almost burned down his parents house whilst trying to cook for him and you’re very much interested, sneaking snorts under your breath.

renjun, jeno and donghyuck all arrive, tapping you on your shoulder, you turn to glance with the slightest confusion.

there isn’t an exchange of words, they simply observe jaemin until he smiles, making up a story about having to go check up on a patient.

they all silently watch him leave.

“why’d you scare him off?” you complain, almost tapering off into whining territory.

“i just want to know what’s up with you two” renjun finally says.

you groan, donghyuck pushes as he takes a seat beside you. “we are not having this conversation again”. 

“is he your friend? your boyfriend? an eight month conquest? your shotaro replacement?”

“why does everyone think we’re dating—“

“i ran into him when he was leaving your room this morning” jeno drawls, flat, irritated in that soft way he always is. “i’m about to ask him to start pitching in on the water bill”.

“he’s not over that often”.

your argument falls flat at donghyuck’s eyebrow raise. “he has been this month, do you like him?”

“okay— i hook up with him a few times doesn’t mean i like him”.

“you two keep sneaking off every time we hang out, you basically made him our new pseudo roommate and you were doing that thing you do when you like someone”.

“what thing?”

“you get all giggly and playfully mean—“ donghyuck tucks his hair behind his ear and flutters his eyelashes, squealing in what you suppose is a high pitched imitation of your voice; “oh jaemin you’re sooo funny!”

you land a punch, neither renjun or jeno reach to stop your action despite donghyuck’s extensive complaints.

“i’m not— it doesn’t matter, how could i like jaemin? he’s a fucking shark, do you not remember what he did to me in my our first month?”

renjun glances around, as if searching around for a better excuse you could tout. “your point?”

“i don’t like him, i’m not dating him, it’s all for sex”.

“how long has this been going on again?”

you wrack your mind for an answer. “we started right after i got dumped so.. around late august?”

“oh my god” donghyuck says, his eyes blown out dramatically. “you’ve been sleeping with na jaemin for THREE MONTHS!?”

you decide to assault him again. “can you not be so loud?”

“and you haven’t killed him yet? ew, you do like him”.

“i don’t— what does—“

“oh you totally do! holy shit, is the dick that good!?”

when you take a liberal pause, renjun immediately crinkles his nose. “don’t actually answer that”.

“i wasn’t going to”.

“you were having sex flashbacks!”

“was not, get over yourself” you snark.

donghyuck looks one mouth opening away from speaking when mark lee suddenly shows up, plopping himself at your table. “is this seat taken?”

“yes!” you and renjun yell in unison.

donghyuck clears his throat. “actually, you were just leaving weren’t you?”

“we were?” you ask dumbly, donghyuck nods, tipping his head towards the door.

oh, you realize what he’s trying to do.

“right” you begin slowly. “just leaving, just going”.

“me too” adds renjun.

“i haven’t finished my sandwich yet..” jeno pouts, and renjun sighs as he grabs ahold of his collar, dragging him away from the lunch table where you’ll leave mark and donghyuck alone. “c’mon, they have something to fix”.

~

when you enter the kitchen the following saturday, donghyuck offers you a mere glance from his book before sighing. “jaemin’s?”

“yep” you pop the p, crouching down as you open the fridge, offering a squint as if your aid will magically appear given your gaze. “are we out of grapes?”

“jeno ate em all, why?”

“nothing, guess i’ll just starve”.

“are you gonna sleep over?”

“i don’t know..”

“sounds close to a yes”.

you glare, donghyuck chuckles.

“practice safe sex youngling!”

you flip him off, he offers you a kiss instead. “sure”.

“enjoy your weekend off!”

you pause before the door and turn back to give him a look, itching to ask a question you’re aware doesn’t have a definite enough answer. “so.. is everything good between you and mark now?”

“i’m working on it” he says, “just working on it”.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 10: blurring the line just a bit

you stumble into jaemin’s room and fall into his bed with your legs tangled. you feel warmth encapsulate you instantly. there’s lightheadedness, as if you’re drunk, intoxicated by the familiar scent of simply jaemin. his hair is in his eyes, yet for a long moment he simply stares. you doubt there’s a definitive way your imperfections could be glimpsed at in the vague orange lamplight, a small frown tugs at your lips.

“what?” you whisper, tentative.

“nothing” jaemin replies, equally silent. “it’s just— you’re just.. you look pretty like this”.

you blank for a moment, brightening yet attempting to shove it downward, reddened. “good, thought you were about to change your mind”.

“hush”.

when jaemin leans down to kiss you it’s soft, and your brain does that stupid malfunction thing once again, you sort of don’t know what to do with it. it’s syrup slow, the way jaemin licks into your mouth and his fingers trail up underneath your shirt, like you two have all the time in the world. you take in a long breath, tugging impatiently at his shirt which acts as a hurdle for you. he chuckles, you feel his smile against your own growing one.

you frown, such an expression heartens jaemin to no end. he’s torturing you, pressing slow soft presses against your soft skin, each press marked by his growing smile as he drags his mouth across each particular edge, exponentially leisure, nothing of vigor and more of attention to specific details. you squirm gradually, jaemin digs the pads of his fingers into your hips to hold you still in place, there’s a gentle edge to it that makes your head spin.

“hey” you tug at jaemin’s hair, and when he glances up at you there’s that huge urge to punch him, or maybe kiss him, do a crazy combination with the grin he’s sporting. “could you— fuck speed it up”.

“don’t you rush me y/n” he drawls, blinking up at you through his terribly beautiful eyelashes. “today is special”.

“it can be special when you get to it”.

“so bossy, maybe you should be in control then”.

despite his clear amusement, lingering insults on his tongue, jaemin again leans down to kiss you. it seems he enjoys that aspect, you don’t let go of his hair, hand on the back of his neck pressing him closer. it’s a good kiss, the slightest bit scary to you. you think you could get used to this, get accustomed to the sight of his dirty blonde hair and his hands pressing into the skin of your hip, possibly leaving marks.

it seems a little scary, but it also seems.. well, it makes you have all those mushy feelings you shouldn’t be having, feelings you’d have a heart attack at having three months ago.

you suppose you are blurring the lines a bit here, teeth ground and face buried into his neck, as if you were attempting to crawl into his skin. jaemin holds you and talks you through it like a lover would, it does terrible things to you, terrible terrible thoughts swirling around in your brain.

in the morning, you awake alone. you lie there for a moment, sunlight peeking through the curtains, then you allow your head to fall once more, taking in a deep breath which inadvertently means you’re smelling jaemin’s pillow. you shake your head instantly at such a thought, it’s really all over for you.

you settle for a moment before finally rising from your place, more of rolling off jaemin’s bed and almost breaking your bones with the fall on the floor.

you go through the motions, brushing your teeth and attempting to fix your hair, eventually just leaving it half done. you then venture into jaemin’s closet, grabbing at a random black hoodie and pulling it over your head.

you hear a commotion, head whipping in the direction of the door. you blink, poking your head out of the bedroom door. “jaemin?”

“i’m fine, it’s all fine! nothings burning down”.

you shuffle your way out of his room, feet mute against his bare floor. jaemin has his back to you, in nothing but a practically see through white shirt. “what’s this?”

“breakfast” he muses, eyes seemingly jumping when he catches a glimpse of you.

you lean over his shoulder, nosy as ever, his face is flat. “what?”

jaemin squints. “do you not like pancakes?”

“what kind of question is that? everyone likes pancakes” you reply, breakfast is one of the most foreign meals to you, you haven’t had an actual real breakfast meal in a startling while. “i thought you didn’t like strawberries”.

“they’re not for me” he says, nose scrunched. he uses a fork to cut up the pieces, getting an equal amount of each ingredient before holding it up to your face. “open up”.

“i know how to use a fork myself, you know”.

“open up”.

you drop your mouth open and allow jaemin to feed you, he observes you eat like a hawk. “good?”

you nod enthusiastically.

jaemin smiles, a real, toothless smile that blossoms alluringly over his features. “alright, eat breakfast, then we can go back to sleep”.

you pause, chewing. “i could’ve helped make breakfast”.

“well i didn’t want to wake you” you’re unaware of when he got closer, you opt to not question it, simply allowing his arms to circle around your waist and for him to kiss you once again. his presses are slow, lazy, warm, his sigh in tandem with him pushing you up against the counter.

“can’t i eat?”

“you look good”.

“my hair looks like shit..” you mumble, in response he ruffles it, which earns a grunt as you attempt to escape his hand by leaning backward. “and you just ruined it again”.

“i didn’t do anything” he’s got that smile on again, the one without his teeth, you found you enjoy capturing glimpses of that one much more than you’d ever gloat. “now eat, lord knows how long it’s been since you’ve had breakfast”.

he makes it up to you by helping you wash your hair in the shower, practically putting you to sleep with his ministrations, hand motions paired with a warm stream of water a dealing blow. he lets you do the same for him, sneaking in kisses between rinses to make your time a bit more difficult, water flicked your way resulting in slight squeaks. you spend the afternoon on the couch, bickering over what to watch before eventually settling on a drama you’d been recommended, cuddling closely, though napping quickly overtakes you. jaemin is heavy against your chest, and when you wake up past sunset, there’s a noticeable cramp in your arm, yet it’s the happiest you’ve felt in years.

~

it’s no wonder things change after that.

you see jaemin in the hallways of the hospital, messy hair paired with eye bags and your heart starts beating erratically. it remains in such fastened motions whenever he sends you a smile at lunch, or when you’re around the rest of your friends and can’t help but just.. stare. your chest warms inexplicably whenever he purposely bumps into you in the locker room or leans against you once he’s worn out, in the manner of a mind reader who knows what exactly such things to do your weak heart.

you’re still hooking up, obviously, but it’s become so ridiculously domestic that you’re unaware of when such lines began blurring.

jaemin brings you coffee, placing it atop the nurses station and patiently awaiting your response, smile akin to a cat bringing their owner a dead rodent as a gift.

you blink at it, then up at him, smiles all high. you recognize the doodles on the cup as from the cafe down the street, yet your mind is still the slightest bit woozy from a frankly terrible three hour sleep. “what’s this?”

“a little pick me up” he replies. “can’t just keep throwing back espresso shots, that’s unhealthy”.

how jaemin even figured that out is something you neglect to mention, you presume he’s some sort of alien mind reader, completely inhumane. you would’ve bitten back with a snarky remark a few months ago, yet it appears your mind is full of gray static now. you shake your head and go back to reading over the patient notes.

“i can’t drink that”.

“it’s your order” he drawls, and your eyes again shoot up.

“what.. uh— shit”.

jaemin pokes at your shoulder, sliding the cup over and encouraging you to take a sip. you’d argue with him, if you could with how he’s staring.

he was right, it is.

“how’d you even..?”

“i have my ways,” he brightens.

“thank you” you whisper.

“it’s nothing” he leans in to dart a kiss to your temple. “take it easy, okay?”

and your world successfully tilts on its own axis, you really need a word for that one.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 11: desperate times desperate looking man

“i feel like i haven’t seen you in ages,” renjun whispers. you’re sneaking into the NICU between patients, like you typically do when swallowed with work. the tiny preemie babies are so cute, they’re simply giving it their all to survive, it encourages you to keep going in the slightest bit. also did you mention they’re absolutely adorable?

“are you finally moving out? are you taking jeno with you? am i free?”

“i’m not leaving, stop trying to divorce me” you say, smacking donghyuck’s shoulder in retaliation to such words. “has jaemin been acting any weird around you?”

“you mean like— weirder than normal?” donghyuck raises an eyebrow, renjun distracted by cooing at the sleeping NICU babies. you always wondered the extent of dreams infants have, constantly intrigued by such a thing.

“no not really” he replies, nudging renjun slightly in an effort to get him back on track. the older startles out of his admiring daze, blinking in your direction.

“jaemin? jaemin’s always been weird, why are you asking?”

“i don’t know he’s acting.. different, i’m a little worried”.

“different how?” renjun does his award winning judgmental gaze, amping up your consciousness.

“well you know how i slept over at his place last weekend—“

“and spared me the ear bleeding noises yes”.

“shut up, this morning he got me coffee before rounds started, he kissed me and told me to take it easy, since when has jaemin cared about that?”

renjun and donghyuck exchange one mere glance before the latter speaks up; “you know what that sounds like? i think you sucked and fucked your way into a relationship”.

“don’t swear in front of the babies!”

“and don’t ever say sucked and fucked again” renjun glares, nose crinkling in disgust.

donghyuck sucks his teeth, though ignoring renjun’s distinct complaint. “seriously y/n, if you can’t see with your huge fucking eyes that jaemin has something for you, that might be a huge problem”.

your arms drop at their sides, readying up some terrible rebuttal when your pager goes off, you immediately sigh once jaemin’s name pops up. “speak of the devil” you muse.

when you walk into the E.R you spot him immediately.

“hey, what’s up?”

“just need you to come look at something for me” he immediately says. “i have a theory, but i need a second opinion”.

a smug smile creeps onto your face. “are you asking me for a consultation right now?”

he rolls his eyes. “don’t act coy, there’s a lady with glitter glue in her ears, you seriously have to see this”.

you let him lead the way.

~

it’s eerily quiet in the intern locker when you walk in to grab your phone, one single being in the room, that of na jaemin, lying back on one of the benches, leg propped up. once he catches sight of you, he sits up.

“hey”.

“hi” you reply.

“out or in?”

“out, apparently i hit my eighty hours for the week, jungwoo cut me off”.

“that sucks, i’m on call tonight”.

“that does suck” you hum, shoving your phone in your bag as you eye the suspicious way his leg is propped up. “what’s up with your leg?”

“nothing, it’s just— my knees a little sore, that’s all”.

you frown slightly. “let me see”.

“you know i’m an adult, right? i can take care of myself”.

“hush” you respond, flatly staring as jaemin sits back on the bench, allowing you to poke at the wrap around his knee.

“it’s an old injury” he says. “it’s supposed to be fully healed but it still troubles me sometimes”.

your mouth drops open in a silent ‘ah’, “speed skating, right”.

“yeah, i was just telling choi about it, i don’t know why everyone is so surprised i used to speed skate”.

“you’ve been telling everyone about your secret past? i don’t feel special anymore, na jaemin” you tease. you sit up on the bench, satisfied jaemin wasn’t lying about wrapping it up properly. you’re supposed to go meet your family after this, but you don’t want to leave jaemin’s side just yet, call it obsession.

“relax” jaemin drawls, giving you a salacious wink. “they all know i only have eyes for you”.

you ignore the heat rising in your ears. jaemin has been much more forward with his advances lately, unabashed, little shame, which reminds you—“everyone thinks we’re dating, you know? you’re fueling the fire”.

“you know i don’t care what people think of me”.

liar.

“well i care” you answer. “about us, about.. uh— well, people always talk, you know? makes me anxious”.

“you sure you want me to stop flirting with you? really?”

“yes” you have an airy undertone lacing your voice, eyes sliding towards jaemin’s mouth, you realize lately that all you want to do is kiss him. you’re about fully prepared to when your phone buzzes in your pocket.

“you got somewhere to be?”

you shoot off a text to your younger sister to assure her that you will indeed not be late. you meet jaemin’s eyes and hesitate for a moment, though you’re unsure of why. “yes actually i have a reunion, well— not exactly a reunion but my parents want me to come home for some reason, probably gonna try to set me back up with my ex like they do every single time..”

there’s a small shift in his expression. “oh? didn’t they try to do that last week? or was that something else?”

“shotaro offered last week and i couldn’t turn him down, they’re trying to push me back to another ex”.

“ah”.

you pick up your bag and stand to head out of the door.

“i promised my sisters i wouldn’t be late, can’t leave them alone at home, if they make anything good i’ll bring around leftovers” you look over your shoulder. “text me when you get home?”

jaemin neglects to respond, you squint as you look at him.

“jaemin?”

“what? oh yeah, yeah, i’ll text you”.

~

jaemin does not end up texting.

you’re aware of that because you continuously glance over at your phone whilst your parents mutter on their meticulous jargon, sneaking in less than vague insults pertaining to your character. you keep checking for some sort of ping, a rogue emoji or videos of his cats that he enjoys sending so much. you only get texts from donghyuck asking what kind of pasta noodles he should buy for dinner, nothing else.

“are we boring you?” your youngest sister inquires, her head leaning against her head as she takes liberal glances towards your own phone.

you sheepishly put your phone away, you have no idea what anybody has been droning on about for the past few minutes, and you’re much too embarrassed to ask. “sorry no, please continue”.

later, you get home and crawl into your sheets, swiping the notification bar one last time to see if jaemin sent anything. disappointment. you tossed and turned for a moment, uncomfortable in the air of your room. it’s late, jaemin clearly had a long day and crashed as soon as he got home. he isn’t obligated to text you everyday, especially when you’re both equally busy in your own right. nevertheless, you briefly entertain the idea of showing up at his place just to see how he’ll react.

that would be crazy, you freak, is what your inner conscious speaks. he’s not your boyfriend or anything.

you do wish jaemin were here, though, he warms your presence in just the slightest.

you get up one last time, grabbing a dormant pusheen plushie left on your floor and pressing your face into it, a silent scream escaping your lips. you peer over at your phone one last time, finally deciding to take a leap.

goodnight, you text, pausing. you take a few moments, typing out i miss you a good six times before deleting such an idiotic message, you two saw each other no more than a few hours ago, why would you even send that? your hands are clammy.

maybe he caught something?

in the next minute, you practically jump up on your feet as your message is registered as seen. you sit up on the bed, observing text bubbles pop up and disappear for several minutes. eventually, jaemin settles on simply hearting your message.

he didn’t even say it back, but your heart is racing, and an irreversible warmth encapsulates you. the sides of your mouth curve upward involuntarily as you think of jaemin, his stupid jokes and his wide smile and his messy blonde hair, lying in bed deciding over how to respond to a ‘goodnight’ text. it’s just a text. a mere reaction even, nothing of a true response, yet this is a feeling you haven’t had in a long time.

lovesickness, you realize.

oh lord.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 12: and zhong chenle was right in the end

“fucking finally” chenle’s mouth does that swivel upward and he beckons renjun closer. “pay up”.

“what? no, this doesn’t count, he hasn’t even told jaemin how he feels yet” renjun argues.

donghyuck taps his feet onto the floor, nudging you with his shoulder as he shares a knowing look, you stick out your tongue, though completely anxious about your upcoming circumstances. “told jaemin how i what?”

chenle sighs as if the whole world rests atop his shoulders. “jaemin romances you every single day, cooks for you, buys you cute gifts, asks for free consults and you’re still wondering how he feels for you? you sure you were at the top of your class back in university?”

jaemin walks in then.

“jaemin!”

you internally wince at the extent of your excitement, tone overwhelming. “um.. hi”.

“hey”.

“you never texted”.

“must’ve slipped my mind”.

“cool— uh, listen” over jaemin’s shoulder, chenle gestures you a thumbs up, renjun making a cut throat motion across his neck whilst donghyuck simply observes the whole thing in the manner of daytime entertainment. “uh.. i’m— we’re ordering in tonight, pizza and a movie are you down?”

jaemin opens his locker and doesn’t look at you. “sounds a little boring, sorry..”

“we don’t have to watch the movie” you suggest, screw shame, you’re as desperate as they get.

he blinks over at you, as if attempting to keep himself grounded though looking into your eyes.

“i’ll pass, have fun though” he replies, “see you all tomorrow” then he’s picking up his jacket, rushing out the locker room in an instant, cutting you off quickly. he practically runs into jeno on his way out, startling the other into donghyuck’s personal space.

“what’s up with jaemin? he looks like his cat just died”.

you turn to renjun and chenle. “he just rejected me, right?

“that money is literally mine” chenle grits his teeth.

“you’re all useless”.

by the time you make it to the lobby, jaemin is about finished with his daily wrap up talk with the receptionist, bag over his shoulder and head pointed towards the door. you’re fully aware of how pathetic you must seem currently, but you suppose nothings worse than not getting the truth out of him.

“hey.. hey, jaemin, slow down?”

jaemin blinks again, the irritated furrow of his eyebrows jumping out at you immediately. “what do you want?”

“i want you to talk to me”.

“what’s there to talk about?”

“you— gosh, you’re so confusing, you know? i can’t read minds, can’t you just tell me what i did wrong?”

and how you ended up outside is beyond you, perhaps it was the better decision, after all, arguing in front of the front desk lady is about as embarrassing as it gets.

jaemin scoffs, glancing down at his watch as if he’s unaware of the time, his apple watch lights up and the background is a picture of his cats, the wallpaper is helplessly adorable, it endears you to no end.

“you didn’t do anything”.

“well you don’t exactly make that obvious with how you’ve been avoiding me, you’ve been weird ever since i told you i started hanging out with shotaro again”.

“that— that has nothing to do with it, what you do out of work is none of my business”.

you try not to feel hurt by that one, you’re aware of what jaemin is trying to do. “so what is it?”

jaemin bites into his cheek. “can’t you drop it?”

“no” you refuse, slightly blocking his way though he could probably carry you on a bad day. “you’re going to have to tell me or get through me”.

“are you insane?”

that almost earns a well deserved fit of laughter, you suppose you are at this point. “you’re being immature, we have all night”.

jaemin gives a long hard stare, and you actually think he’s about to push you out of the way, leave you rejected on the cold sidewalk, but then he sighs, picking at the ends of his hair before breaking into a sigh. “i let you down, you know?”

you blank, arms dropping at your sides as you instead give continuous blinks. “what the fuck are you talking about?”

jaemin looks a crossbred of punching you and kissing you. “of course you don’t remember it’s— god you say things and barely even mean them cause you just talk so much, you know? you make me mad cause you do these little things that just piss me off and i just don’t understand you, you care about people so much and you’re so bossy but you’re also so.. cute, and nice, and you’re funny and you always do these things that make me realize i’m stupidly in love with you, there, that’s it”.

your heart resounds like a drum in your ears. “jaemin—“

“i fell in love with you, okay? and i know you told me not to, didn’t want us devolving into any domestic shit but.. i am, present tense, i’m in love with you”.

oh, you suppose there’s always a catch.

“you done now?” you ask.

“am i— yeah” jaemin laughs, dry and all. “i’m done, are you happy? can i go home now?”

“no” you pull him by the front of his jacket to kiss him, it’s cute that jaemin is clearly surprised by it, the broken whimper he allows to escape when you bite into the swell of his bottom lip is even cuter. his hand comes to cradle your jaw, and for a few sweet moments you forget you’re in front of your building of occupancy. you pull away with your cheeks hot as you rest your foreheads together, suddenly amused.

“thought you would’ve let your parents set you up with your ex”.

“and you didn’t think to ask me?”

“i mean— we never talked about.. this”.

“because you said it would be weird!”

“oh so i’m the bad guy now?”

“yes! yes you are!”

“i told you i was in love with you all you had to say was—“

“shut up” you snap, cupping his impossibly perfect face between your hands. “lord i like you so much, love you an excruciating amount and i miss you all the time even though i see you everyday, you’re so annoying and you have that addicting smile and it’s— you piss me off”.

“as you’ve said before”.

“but.. you know, guess it wouldn’t hurt to try”.

he kisses you again and you can’t help how you smile against his own lips.

“you wanna come back with me?”

jaemin pretends to think it over, as if your fingers aren’t entwined and you don’t already have butterflies alive in your stomach. “i’m worried, what happens if my helmet swallows your tiny little head whole”.

“so romantic na, i’ll have to give you an award for that one”.

“aww, really?”

“no”.

jaemin sticks out his tongue, one last peck given to your lips before you two were off.

when you get back to your place, jaemin falls asleep on your lap midway through the movie like an exhausted old man, or maybe just the young surgeon subjected to the torturous work hours at guleum grave hospital just trying his best. you can’t believe how fond you are, gaze brazen in a manner that renders you nauseous. unable to resist, you reached out to tuck strands of his hair behind his ear.

you hate yourself, it’s just the slightest bit terrifying, you’re fearful at the oncoming future and the enigma of na jaemin in his all. you just want to make sure he wants this, the mushy and sticky feelings which come with the whole process. he is a mystery, yes, but he’s also kind, and patient, and so full of boundless devotion that he probably isn’t even sure he retains.

jaemin jerks awake once jeno flicks on the lights of the living room, but he settles down quickly once he realizes he’s in your lap, you run your fingers through his hair, quietly aching.

he blinks up at you slowly. “i missed the movie”.

“you did” you murmur, “wanna go to bed?”

“yeah” jaemin grabs ahold of your hand in his hair, fingers intertwined, beginning to leave light kisses on your wrist, just above your pulse. he’s so cute like this, so soft looking with his delicate feeling lips and soft all around the edges. you might get sick from the absorbent amount of love you happen to be feeling, his eyelashes flutter in your direction, a smile tugging at his lips which you mirror.

it’s a match made on this soul sucking earth. it’s only a little perfect.

[myscenic]

Pairing: roommate!na jaemin x male!reader

Genre: fluff, enemies to lovers, fake dating

Warnings: none

Word Count: 3.6k

Synopsis: the popular boy na jaemin was tired of always going to parties solo, so he decided to ask his roommate out.

♡ Note: it was a bit rushed sorry!! i've just made an account for female readers since i want to make this acc for male readers only, so go follow if u want lol. the content there will be different too :>

jaemin scowled as he rushed around the dorm room, haphazardly tossing clothes into his overflowing laundry basket. it had been two weeks since his last load, and he was down to his last pair of clean socks. his roommate, y/n, was sprawled across his bed, scrolling through his phone, seemingly unaffected by the chaos.

"can you keep it down over there?" y/n complained, not looking up from his phone. "some of us are trying to have some rest."

jaemin shot him an irritated look. "you try living out of a laundry basket for two weeks. it's disgusting."

the two had been paired as roommates at the start of the semester, much to both of their annoyance. from day one, they hadn't seen eye to eye on anything. where jaemin was loud and social, y/n kept to himself. their fighting and bickering had become so constant that the other students in their dorm had taken to avoiding their room altogether.

"why don't you ask one of your many friends to help you with your laundry problem?" y/n retorted.

jaemin sighed in exasperation. it was true that he was popular around campus and always had people willing to do favors for him. but for some reason, he didn't feel right asking any of them for something so personal.

"actually, there was something i wanted to ask you..." jaemin said hesitantly as he shoved the overflowing basket into the corner.

y/n finally looked up from his phone, glancing at jaemin with mild interest. "what?"

jaemin fidgeted nervously, avoiding eye contact. "there's this party tonight...for my friend's dance team. and usually i would bring someone, but...i don't really have time to find one properly."

y/n raised an eyebrow, waiting for jaemin to get to the point.

"iwaswonderingifyouwouldbemyfakeboyfriendjustforthenight?" jaemin rushed out in one breath.

a look of disgust washed over y/n's face. "absolutely not."

"pleaseeeee y/nnnn!" jaemin begged.

yn stared at him in disbelief. "let me get this straight. for months you've been nothing but rude towards me. and now you want me to what, play pretend boyfriend for one night?"

"it's just this one party, i swear!" jaemin said quickly. "and i'll do your laundry for a week."

y/n rubbed his temples, already feeling a headache coming on from even considering it. but he was intrigued by jaemin's desperation. it wasn't often he had the upper hand in their constant battles of wills.

"two weeks..." y/n proposed, a sly smile playing at his lips.

jaemin weighed his options for a moment before conceding. "deal. two weeks of laundry it is." he stuck out his hand for y/n to shake on it, hoping he wouldn't come to regret this unlikely alliance.

y/n shook jaemin's hand begrudgingly. "alright, so what's the plan?"

"just show up with me and act like we're together," jaemin explained. "hold my hand, dance with me, maybe kiss me on the cheek-"

"whoa, let's not get too carried away," y/n cut him off. despite their agreement, the thought of kissing jaemin made his stomach turn.

jaemin frowned. "it has to look authentic! come on, it's just an act."

y/n scoffed. "you better buy me dinner first."

a smile played at jaemin's lips, seeing an opportunity. "deal. i'll take you to that italian place you like after the party."

y/n hesitated, surprised jaemin knew his favorite restaurant. maybe he was starting to pay more attention than y/n realized. still, he couldn't make it that easy.

"and you'll do the kiss thing?" jaemin pressed.

y/n deliberated for a moment before nodding reluctantly. "fine. one kiss on the cheek, that's it."

jaemin beamed, feeling suddenly hopeful about the night. "this is going to be great. they'll totally buy us as a couple!"

y/n rolled his eyes, already regretting his agreement to this fake dating scheme. but he had to admit, it did feel satisfying to have jaemin wrapped around his finger for once.

two hours later found them arriving at the party together, per jaemin's instructions. as soon as they stepped through the door, all eyes fell on them, surprised to see the campus rivals united.

jaemin didn't hesitate, grabbing y/n's hand and intertwining their fingers. y/n fought back a blush at the intimate contact. this was going to be a long night.

as they walked into the crowded party hand in hand, y/n leaned closer to jaemin so he could hear him over the loud music.

"how do you know my favorite Italian place anyway?" he asked suspiciously.

jaemin glanced at him in surprise, as if just realizing he'd let that detail slip. he debated playing it off but decided honesty was the safest approach, for now.

"i, uh, might have overheard you talking about it with jungwoo once," he admitted sheepishly.

y/n raised an eyebrow. "were you eavesdropping on us?"

"no!" jaemin said quickly. too quickly. "i just happened to walk by your room at the time... okay fine, maybe i was listening in a little."

y/n shook his head in disbelief. trust jaemin to snoop, even when they weren't getting along.

"what, you were that curious about me?" he teased, enjoying seeing jaemin so flustered.

"i wasn't curious!" jaemin protested, pouting adorably. damn it, why did y/n have to look so cute when he was smug? "i just like to be well informed about my enemy, that's all."

y/n chuckled. "sure, keep telling yourself that."

a comfortable silence fell between them as they scanned the crowded dance floor for jaemin's friends. for the first time that night, y/n was starting to enjoy himself. maybe this fake date thing wouldn't be so bad after all.

just then, jaemin spotted mark waving at them from across the room. he waved back enthusiastically and pulled y/n through the crowd to meet him.

"yoooo!" mark shouted over the music. "you and y/n? together? no wayyy!"

jaemin laughed nervously. "crazy right?" he squeezed y/n's hand, hoping he would play along.

y/n sighed inwardly but plastered on a smile. "yeah, i know. it's pretty new."

"how did this even happen?" mark asked excitedly. "i thought you two hated each other!"

jaemin cleared his throat, quickly coming up with a cover story. "well, we had that big project for history class last month. we ended up spending a lot of time together working on it."

he glanced at y/n, silently asking him to continue weaving the fake relationship narrative. y/n squeezed his hand back subtly to let him know it was okay.

"one thing led to another and we realized we had more in common than we thought," y/n added smoothly. he peered up at jaemin through his lashes, putting on his best doe eyed expression. "who knew such a cute guy was hiding behind all that yelling?"

jaemin felt his heart skip a beat at y/n's words. was he laying it on too thick or...did he maybe mean it? he smiled shyly. "aw babe, you're gonna make me blush."

mark cooed at their act. "you guys are too cute! i'm so glad you worked things out."

jaemin looked up to see one of his long time admirers jiwoo approaching with her group of friends. he braced himself for the inevitable confrontation.

"jiwoo, hey," he greeted warily.

she tossed her hair over her shoulder, eyes narrowing when she saw y/n tucked into jaemin's side. "jaemin~ who's this?"

her voice was saccharine sweet but there was an edge of venom underneath. jaemin knew she wasn't used to having to share his attention.

he squeezed y/n's hand protectively. "this is y/n, my boyfriend."

gasps rippled through jiwoo's friends at the revelation. y/n fought back a smirk - he could only imagine what a blow this was to jiwoo's ego.

jiwoo's smile didn't falter but her eyes flashed angrily. "boyfriend? since when?"

before jaemin could answer, y/n boldly stepped in. "a few weeks. it's new but we're really happy." he leaned up to plant a quick kiss on jaemin's cheek.

jaemin felt his face heat up as jiwoo sputtered indignantly. he shot y/n an impressed look, grateful for how naturally he was playing along.

the group of jealous admirers followed the two wherever they went, still hurling insults and not taking the hint. y/n's patience was at its limit, hand gripping jaemin's so tightly it must have been painful.

jaemin could see just how close y/n was to snapping. in a bold move, he suddenly pulled y/n towards him and pressed their lips together in a searing kiss.

y/n made a muffled noise of surprise, eyes flying wide open before fluttering shut against his will. jaemin's lips were impossibly soft yet insistent, coaxing a response without force. after a moment of stunned rigidness, y/n found himself sinking into the kiss.

gasps and outraged cries arose from the gaggle of girls, achieving the intended effect of distracting them from further heckling. when jaemin finally drew back, their admirers were fuming, scurrying away in a jealous rage.

heart pounding, y/n met jaemin's flushed face in a daze. but then the realization of what they'd done struck him, and color rushed to his own cheeks.

"you said just a kiss on the cheek, not the mouth!" y/n muttered, trying and failing to seem composed. his lips still tingled from the sensation.

jaemin laughed breathily. "it worked, didn't it? they've left us alone now."

his teasing grin slowly faded as he gazed searchingly at y/n, all hints of jest falling away. something unspoken passed between them in that loaded moment, a question hovering on the tip of jaemin's tongue.

y/n looked away first, swallowing thickly. this game they were playing was starting to feel all too real, in the best and most terrifying way.

in the charged moment after the kiss, jaemin glanced over y/n's shoulder and spotted his friend haechan waving excitedly across the room.

"i'll be right back," jaemin said, reluctantly detangling their hands. "haechan looks like he needs to talk."

y/n nodded, still a bit dazed. "go ahead, i'll be here."

jaemin smiled thankfully. "i won't be long, promise. just hang out, get a drink, i'll find you in a bit."

he squeezed y/n's hand before jogging off to greet his friends, leaving y/n alone at the edge of the dance floor.

y/n leaned against the wall, sipping his drink as he observed the partygoers. his mind kept wandering back to the kiss he'd shared with jaemin. he still wasn't sure what to make of the fluttery feeling in his stomach.

lost in thought, he barely noticed jiwoo approaching until she was right in front of him, glare in place. he straightened up warily.

"having fun without jaemin?" she asked sweetly. too sweetly.

y/n didn't trust her tone. "he just went to say hi to some friends, he'll be back."

jiwoo hummed noncommittally. they lapsed into an uncomfortable silence as she continued to eye him critically.

finally she spoke. "look, i don't know what game you're playing with jaemin. but i've had my eye on him for a long time."

y/n frowned. "we're not playing any games, we're really dating."

she tossed her hair back with a smirk. "come on, we all know jaemin gets bored of people quickly. he'll dump you soon enough. so do yourself a favor and back off now before he breaks your little heart."

her condescending tone made y/n's blood boil. but he refused to let her intimidate him.

"thanks for the concern. but i think jaemin is capable of making his own decisions," he said coldly.

after jiwoo left in a huff, y/n leaned back against the wall feeling tense. where was jaemin? he scanned the crowded room but didn't see him.

growing impatient, y/n sighed and grabbed another beer from a passing tray. as he sipped it slowly, he let his mind wander back to jaemin. the way he looked in the soft party lights, the tender feel of his kiss...

before he knew it, he had zoned out and finished that beer as well. as he waited, a group of guys stopped by with an extra case they insisted on sharing. one beer led to another as y/n desperately tried to ignore jiwoo's ominous words echoing in his head.

by the time jaemin reappeared, an empty bottle sat at y/n's feet and three more littered the small table. he was nursing a fourth, cheeks flushed from the alcohol.

"sorry that took so long..." jaemin trailed off as he took in y/n's inebriated state with concern. "y/n? how many have you had?"

y/n waved his hand carelessly, words starting to slur together. "whaaat? it- all good jaem. just a few..."

when he reached for the opened fifth bottle with unsteady hands, kaemin grabbed his wrist gently. "i think you've had enough babe."

yhe term of endearment made y/n's already fuzzy brain go blank. "missed you," he mumbled, smiling dopily up at jaemin.

the doe eyed affection was unexpectedly cute. but jaemin was worried about how much y/n had consumed alone. gently taking the bottle away, he hauled y/n's arm over his shoulders.

"let's get you home okay? i've got you." jaemin said softly into y/n's hair, hiding a smile.

y/n pouted up at him with glossy eyes. "but...the party isn’t over yet. wanna dance with you." he stepped in unsteadily, trying to sway to the loud music.

it was undeniably cute how cuddly he was in this state, but jaemin had to stay firm. "maybe next time when you haven't had so much to drink, yeah?"

"don' wanna leave yet," y/n slurred. he peered up at jaemin with bleary eyes. "party's still going on. wanna have fun with you."

jaemin smiled gently. "i know, but you're too drunk right now. let's get you sobered up first, yeah?"

y/n shook his head stubbornly. then his expression turned sad. "d'you not wanna have fun with me?"

jaemin's heart clenched at the vulnerability in y/n's tone. he cupped y/n's cheek tenderly. "of course i do. but not like this, when you aren't yourself."

when they arrived to their dorm, jaemin gently scooped y/n into his arms again, stifling a laugh at the cute sleeping face nuzzled into his neck. he carefully made his way up the stairs.

at y/n's door, jaemin paused. should he take y/n to his room instead? not wanting to overstep, he reluctantly laid him down on the bed.

as jaemin tucked him under blankets, y/n's eyes fluttered open slowly. "jaem...stay?" he slurred sleepily.

jaemin's heart melted. how could he refuse that face? "of course." he kicked off his shoes and climbed in beside y/n.

y/n’s arm immediately wrapping around jaemin's middle, y/n sighed contentedly. "g'night..."

just then, jaemin's eyes flew open at y/n's sleepy mutterings. did he hear that right?

heart pounding, he shifted carefully to look at y/n's face, barely illuminated by moonlight. his breath had evened out in deep sleep once more.

'i love you...jaem...'

the slurred words echoed in jaemin's mind. there was no mistaking it - y/n had confessed to dreaming. but was it just drunken ramblings or...something more?

he knew he should dismiss it, that y/n was too out of it to mean whatever he said. yet a tiny flicker of hope ignited in jaemin's chest all the same.

all this time bickering, he'd tried to ignore his growing feelings for the fiery boy. but pretending had become impossible after their kiss.

and now this... it gave jaemin courage to consider that maybe, just maybe, y/n felt the same way buried deep down. that behind the yelling and glares lay something more tender between them, waiting to blossom.

biting his lip to contain his smile, jaemin gently brushed y/n's fringe back and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

"i love you too," he whispered into the dark. then settled back to sleep, letting the future , and any awkward morning after talks, come what they may. for now, hope and y/n's words were enough.

the morning sun filtering through the curtains awakened y/n from a deep sleep. he buried his face further into the warm pillow with a groan, not ready to face the day yet.

as he snuggled closer, a pair of arms unconsciously tightened around his middle. y/n's eyes flew open at the unfamiliar sensation.

bleary eyes focused on a mess of blonde hair mere inches from his face. memories of the previous night came flooding back in snippets - jaemin's lips on his, jiwoo's annoying smirk, downing shots at the party...

with a start, y/n realized the 'pillow' he was clinging to was in fact jaemin, who had somehow ended up sharing his bed.

"wait...WHAT THE-?" he exclaimed, flailing in a panic.

his sudden movement jolted jaemin awake, eyes blinking open in confusion. then recognition dawned as he took in their tangled limbs, mouths curving into a sleepy smile.

"morning," jaemin said cheerfully, as if finding himself in y/n's bed every day was no big deal.

y/n felt like screaming. or throwing up. maybe both. what the hell happened last night after all that drinking?!

as he awkwardly disentangled himself from jaemin's grasp, mortified questions crowded his hungover brain. what did they do? what did he say? and why did jaemin seem so at ease, damn it?!

all y/n knew was his pounding head and racing heart were in no way prepared for whatever this morning was shaping up to be.

"y/n, calm down," jaemin soothed, sitting up slowly. the last thing he wanted was for y/n to panic.

"you were drunk last night, remember? i brought you back, and you asked me to stay," he explained gently.

y/n raked a hand through messy hair, heart racing as disjointed flashes came back to him.

"did we...did i...say anything?" he asked hesitantly, afraid of the answer.

jaemin paused, debating how much to reveal. "you said you didn't want to be alone."

it wasn't a lie, but not the full truth either. y/n's whisper of love still echoed in jaemin's mind, too precious to share without y/n's permission while he was vulnerable.

seemingly satisfied, y/n dropped back onto the pillow with a groan. "ugh, my head is killing me."

"and...you said you loved me."

y/n froze, eyes blowing wide. no...he couldn't have uttered those words out loud, not when smashed. he refused to accept it.

but the tender look on jaemin's face said it was true. y/n shrieked internally, mind reeling as it tried to recall anything from last night.

blood rushed to his cheeks, staining them scarlet. mortification weighed heavier than any hangover. he needed to hide, to erase the past 12 hours completely.

with a groan, y/n yanked the pillow over his head and buried his burning face in it. he wanted to scream, to tear out of there, and never look jaemin in the eye again.

instead he lay paralyzed, listening to his own heart pounding deafeningly loud. why, why did drunk y/n have to go and confess like that?

after several tense moments, jaemin's hand gently pried the pillow away. y/n squeezed his eyes shut, unable to face him.

"hey," jaemin's voice was soft, no trace of mockery. "look at me please."

y/n reluctantly peeked out. jaemin was smiling so tenderly, it made his insides twist in the best way.

seeing y/m's anguish, jaemin reached out to rub soothing circles on his back. "don't beat yourself up, it was just an accident. i'm the one who should have stopped you drinking sooner."

y/n grunted in protest, voice muffled by pillow. "still dumb of me. don't even remember...what i said."

he peeked up hesitantly at jaemin, clearly ashamed. In that moment, he looked so vulnerable and afraid, and jaemin's heart broke a little.

"hey, it's okay. no need to be embarrassed," jaemin said gently, pulling y/n into his arms.

y/n initially resisted halfheartedly before melting into the embrace with a sigh, head finding its place tucked under jaemin's chin. "i'm still sorry."

jaemin squeezed him tighter. "apology accepted. and just so you know..." he pulled back to meet y/n's worried gaze head on. "i feel the same."

y/n stared, searching jaemin's eyes for any hint of deception but finding only sincerity. "you...do?"

in answer, jaemin leaned in to press their lips together sweetly. y/n's breath hitched before he eagerly responded, all tension draining from his body.

when they parted, y/n wore a dazed yet hopeful smile. naemin grinned back just as wide.

jaemin started. "i've had feelings for you for a while, even if we didn't always get along."

when he didn't respond, jaemin started to draw back, concern etched on his face. "unless...you didn't mean what you said?"

snapping out of it, y/n caught jaemin's hand in both of his. "no, i-i meant it. i love you too, jaem."

the brilliance of jaemin's responding smile was all the sunlight y/n needed to chase away any lingering doubts or hangover. in that moment, all felt right in his world.

[luvkyu]

hii can you please make a enemies to lovers jaemin fluff?i would really appreciate it 😔

ego ( na jaemin )

jaemin x male!reader

after jaemin gets hurt in a fight, someone unexpected takes care of him

content : 1.7k words, angstish to fluff, university!au, mentions of fighting and blood, egotistical jaem

( a/n ) just finished this so sorry if it's rough !!

y/n sighed. he looked around impatiently after knocking on the door of his friend's dorm room. donghyuck had called him earlier in a panic, concerned about his roommate who came home after apparently getting into a fight off campus. y/n wasn't surprised when he first heard this. donghyuck's roommate, jaemin, was not exactly a nice person. at least not in y/n's opinion.

donghyuck opened the door in a hurry before pulling his friend inside.

"oh my god, thank you for coming so late at night."

"i still don't see why you can't just take care of him," y/n complained.

"i don't like blood. or violence." donghyuck handed him a first aid kit and pushed him toward jaemin's room.

"i better be getting paid for this," y/n muttered. he carefully made his way into the bedroom to see jaemin holding an ice pack against his head. y/n sighed again. jaemin didn't look nearly as bad as donghyuck described on the phone. just some bruises and a couple cuts on his face.

"what are you doing here?" jaemin questioned as he lowered the ice pack. he sounded more rude than he intended, which made some guilt flood his chest, especially when y/n didn't answer. but, of course, he definitely wouldn't let y/n know that.

jaemin watched y/n sit down on his bed and open the first aid kit, setting out some of the supplies before looking up at him. jaemin felt himself instantly tense up when y/n examined his face. his injuries were nowhere near serious, but it'd be safest to go ahead and clean him up so he could heal well.

"you didn't have to come," jaemin said. he tried to sit up a bit, but ended up sinking back into his pillows because of the bruises he'd earned.

"well i did." y/n's voice was sharp, short from irritation.

"but you hate me."

"correct."

"but you're helping me anyway?"

"correct again. good to know you haven't lost any braincells up there."

jaemin rolled his eyes and turned his head to look out of the window, annoyed. he winced after trying to take a large inhale.

"where does it hurt?" y/n asked.

"i'll be fine, you can go."

"jaemin."

jaemin's eyes flickered over to y/n, whose face was blank as he waited for jaemin's answer. he didn't know how y/n managed to scare him, but he did nonetheless.

"..my side," he finally responded. y/n watched as the male's hand went to clutch around his ribs.

"i'm gonna lift your shirt a little, okay?"

jaemin nodded. "i knew you always wanted to see me shirtless."

y/n stopped, giving him another blank stare in disapproval. jaemin gulped.

y/n resumed lifting his shirt to begin inspecting around his torso. he could see a large bruise purpling around the bottom of his ribcage. other than this, his skin was flawless. soft and tanned beautifully. y/n quickly avoided staring any further at his skin and abs.

"how'd you even do this?" y/n's fingers drifted cautiously over the growing bruise. jaemin shivered at the chill from his touch, although he almost thought he might've liked it.

"fighting."

"like, fist fighting? ..why?"

"hyuck's ex has been bothering him."

y/n looked up to meet jaemin's eyes. "so you fought him?"

"fucker was coming around here too much. it was annoying for both me and hyuck. i didn't plan on fighting him, i just wanted to tell him to stop. the fight just happened."

y/n stayed quiet. that was somewhat acceptable, he supposed.

"i still won though," jaemin added quickly as if anyone was keeping score.

"well, he also landed some points on you didn't he?" y/n countered, gesturing to the cut on his eyebrow and his slightly busted lip. jaemin didn't reply this time. y/n smiled to himself. he liked when jaemin's ego took a hit.

y/n lowered his shirt back down gently. "your side should be fine. it'll probably keep bruising a little and the color might change. just don't do anything too strenuous and it'll heal."

"what about working out??"

y/n returned his attention back to the first aid kit, preparing to clean up the cuts on jaemin's face. "your call, i guess," he answered.

jaemin groaned. he hoped his trips to the gym could continue as usual, but he wasn't so sure with how little he could move.

"now let me look at these," y/n's voice sounded through jaemin's thoughts. he leaned closer to the male's face and took his chin gently. tilting his head to see better in the light, y/n looked over the slit in his eyebrow.

jaemin swallowed hard. his eyes skimmed over y/n's face. they'd never been this close before. his heart was racing and he couldn't seem to look anywhere else. he was beginning to realize just how attracted to y/n he was. y/n, who had always just been donghyuck's quiet and slightly rude best friend, but now all jaemin really wanted to do was kiss him.

"don't get in another fight. i don't wanna have to patch you up again," y/n said suddenly. jaemin hadn't even noticed that he was already cleaning the small wound on his eyebrow.

"maybe i should get in a fight every week just to see you."

y/n froze. he couldn't have heard that correctly.

"are you flirting with me?"

"maybe," jaemin replied quickly. y/n scowled at his confidence.

"well you can forget it. i'm not flirting back."

"why?"

"cause you're-.." y/n froze again for a moment, resulting in jaemin's unscathed eyebrow twitching upwards in intrigue.

"i'm..?" he urged.

y/n found himself looking directly at jaemin now. his view drifted over the male's lips for just a second before shaking his head and returning to his cut brow.

"a jerk," y/n finally finished.

it was quiet after this. y/n continued cleaning jaemin up. he was slow and careful, insistent on making sure nothing would get infected. he secured a tiny strip bandage over the first cut before pulling away. jaemin's lip still needed seeing to, though.

"so you're telling me you're not even a little attracted to me?" jaemin broke the silence between them.

y/n stifled a chuckle, "why would i be?"

"cause i'm hot. obviously."

y/n couldn't seem to think of a good response to this. he just kept to himself and began wiping some of the blood from jaemin's lip.

"you aren't denying it," jaemin persisted. y/n sighed for the nth time. his grip on jaemin's chin tightened.

"stop talking. i can't take care of your lips when you're moving this much."

"i can move my lips somewhere else if you want."

y/n instantly stood up to leave at this response. a large huff of air left his chest before jaemin rushed to grab his hand.

"no! i'm sorry, please stay. i'm sorry," jaemin pleaded.

y/n turned to look at him. he felt pretty unconvinced, but the sudden seriousness written on jaemin's face made him sit back down. he picked up where he left off, cleaning the other's bloody lip. jaemin's hand hadn't left y/n's, which the latter only noticed after a minute or so. but he decided not to say anything about it.

time felt slow now. y/n finished with the second cut and set everything back into the first aid kit. jaemin hadn't said another word. his demeanor was almost completely different. y/n was surprised and even a little worried.

he finally sat back with a fulfilled exhale. jaemin looked at him, eyes wide with admiration. with thanks, even. y/n wondered where this jaemin came from. his line of sight drifted over to see jaemin's hand that was still clutching his bruised torso, making his brows furrow from worry.

"you can move right?" he asked.

"huh?"

"your side. you can still move right?"

"oh! yes, don't worry. it hurts but i can move," jaemin answered happily.

"hm, okay.." y/n still felt unconvinced. more so because of his sudden change in attitude rather than his injuries. "i can come back tomorrow to check on you again if you want."

jaemin quickly nodded at the idea, smiling largely. the stretch of his mouth made a little more blood seep from his bottom lip, resulting in y/n quickly grabbing a rag to stop the bleeding again.

"thank you," jaemin said softly.

y/n's heart skipped. he wasn't sure why. out of all his time knowing na jaemin, he'd never gotten a sincere word from him.

"you're welcome. don't be so stupid from now on."

jaemin nodded. "i promise."

as the silence fell on them again, their eyes locked before eventually moving to each other's lips. it was clear to both of them where this was going, and y/n was in disbelief at himself. was he really leaning in to kiss someone he'd always hated?

jaemin's hand left it's clutch on his side to instead cup y/n's face, their lips finally meeting.

after pulling away, jaemin squeezed the other's hand as if reassuring himself that everything was real. he wanted nothing more than to keep kissing him and hold him for the rest of the night, but he knew that'd be a little too hard on his injuries at the moment.

"is there a chance we could do this again tomorrow?" jaemin asked. the tone of his voice had changed to a cute, happy one.

y/n rolled his eyes, but jaemin could see the smile he was harboring before he got up from the bed again.

"you should get some sleep. i'll, um.. i'll call you in the morning and i'll try to come over after classes."

jaemin's face brightened at those words. "really??"

y/n nodded, still trying to hide his own happiness. "sleep well, jaemin."

"goodnight, y/n!"

jaemin watched him slip out and close the door gently, already missing him.

[jiyeonnnn]

NCT DREAM 00' LINE + MARK — WHERE DO THEY CXM !?

︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

PAIRING: l. mark, h. renjun, l. jeno, l. haechan, n. jaemin x male reader (separate scenarios)

GENRE: smut

WARNINGS: cxm play basically, breedxng, throatfuxking, unprotected intercourse, degrxdation, dirtytalk, riding, stepcxst (jeno's part), petnames, barebxck

AUTHOR'S NOTE: hello, i wrote this one because of pure boredom. hope y'all enjoy the mess, lovelots. reblogs and interactions are highly appreciated.

▬  !! MARK LEE

at first, mark did it for fun, but now, he can't seem to stop painting your back with his cum as he watches it messily flow down your body.

"SHIT— MARK— I'M GONNA—" you moaned out loud, on all fours gripping the pillows and sheets as you felt the wave of an alluring climax approaching you.

"hm? are you now, baby boy?", the way your walls contracted tightly around his cock sent mark into an overdrive of bliss and pleasure, and you could feel it by how his hands tightened their grip on your waist as he barebacks you — thrusting at a rougher and wilder pace you've barely felt before. "go on, pretty boy, let go for me, yeah?" he whispered as he neared his orgasm, "show me how good my cock feels inside your tight little ass."

he continued to fuck deep into you, watching you scream his name like a cheap little whore as you plead him not to stop, bringing you closer and closer to the brink of your orgasm.

soon as you came hard, mark couldn't resist the tightness of your hole clenching around him - the tightness of your walls urging mark to pull out as he cummed all over your stomach, both of your cum releases mixing.

you were still recovering from the prior orgasm, your legs quivering, when you felt mark pulling you by your legs closer, much rougher this time. he inserted his cock back inside you, the head of his cock kissing the sensitive flesh of your prostate that sent you to the edge once again, and it brought tears to flow down your cheeks.

with a devilish grin painted on his face, he kissed your tears as he thrusted relentlessly again.

︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

▬  !! HUANG RENJUN

renjun is obsessed with your abs and he's not shy about it. he loves them so much that he can't resist cumming all over them whenever he gets the chance.

the bed was shaking like crazy as renjun pounded into you, making the headboard slam against the wall. you were completely spent, your body limp and exhausted from all the intense fucking.

"you're so fucking perfect, puppy" renjun moaned as he kissed your shoulder and squeezed your chest. "your body was made for me."

you could barely even respond, too focused on the intense pleasure building up inside you. suddenly, you came hard, your body convulsing uncontrollably as your cum spurted everywhere all over your stomach. grinning, renjun moaned as he watched you orgasm hard in front of him - it was such a turn on seeing you go dumb chasing your own release.

renjun couldn't control himself too as he continued to groan loudly, thrusting hard to reach his own climax.

finally, he pulled out and shot his hot cum all over your abs, making a mess all over your toned stomach. "god, you're so fucking hot," he breathed as he massaged your abs and spread his cum around.

you drifted off to sleep, feeling completely spent and satisfied, as renjun whispered sweet nothings into your ear and cleaned you up.

︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

▬  !! LEE JENO

his breeding kink is high at all times, jeno would cum deep inside you and enjoy the pleasure of fucking it back inside over and over again — regardless whether may it be his fingers or his girthy cock, he just wouldn't let his hot cum spill out of you.

a series of whimpers left jeno's mouth as you ride him - drool seeping through the sides of his lips as he moaned your name shamelessly. "more please, my prince," jeno mumbled as he gripped the sheets underneath him, his cheeks flushed with a tint of soft pink all over it and his forehead sweating more and more. "daddy's close, little one - please don't stop,"

you couldn't even form coherent words to talk back as your high comes to a close - a whimpering mess is what you are right now as you ride his cock with abandon; loving how his cock stretches you in all the right ways. jeno grabbed your waist so hard, his fingers digging onto your flesh so tightly that you're sure to wake up with bruises the morning after - but you don't care.

jeno came hard, your name spilling out of his mouth as he rode his orgasm. his cum started streaming down your thighs as you proceeded to bounce more - eager to follow your awaiting high, and it didn't take long for you to cum all over his stomach.

but things weren't far from being over. jeno's grip on your waist tightens, commanding you to bounce more and keep going. "don't you dare fucking stop, little boy," he sterned as he flips you on all fours.

he nibbled your earlobe as you trembled from the overstimulation, "i'm going to fuck you all night long, baby boy," he said, his thrusts coming in deeper, not letting his cum escape out of your hole, "i won't stop 'til you're full with your stepbrother's cum."

︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

▬  !! LEE HAECHAN

he's a messy guy when he cums; haechan is shameless and doesn't care about cumming everywhere. as long as both of you get off, that's all that matters to him, even if he leaves a mess behind.

you ended up in the practice room, not the most private place, but it didn't stop you two. against the mirror, haechan pounded into you relentlessly - hard and fast. "damn, baby boy, you feel so good."

haechan grabbed your neck with one hand, and the other around your torso as he continued to fuck you. "h-hyuck, i'm gonna cum," you whispered, searching for bars to hold onto.

he released his grip on your neck and played with your cock, rubbing circles until you came all over his hand. the clenching of your hole made him dizzy, and he pulled out to cum, not caring where it landed.

as the both of you halted to catch your breath, haechan chuckled, "i do consider myself an artist," he said, pointing to his cum he painted on the practice room mirrors. you rolled your eyes, and he pulled you closer. he pushed you down to your knees and pulled your hair to look up at him, "do you prefer me painting on your face instead?"

︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

▬  !! NA JAEMIN

jaemin was all about cumming in your mouth and throat; making sure you swallowed every last drop of him. he wouldn't let any of his cum escape your mouth, or else he'd just have to fuck your throat again regardless if it's swollen or not.

you took all of him in your mouth, sucking him fast before he had to go back to the practice room. "you fucking whore," he said as he grabbed your hair. "so goddamn needy for me and my cock that you came all the way here for it."

you massaged his balls, causing him to groan and lean back in his chair. your head bobbed faster and you used your hands to fill in the spots your mouth couldn't reach. the sound of you gagging around his cock filled the room, and jaemin lives for it.

jaemin grabbed your hair to stop your movement as he pushed your head down on his thick cock, keeping you in place. you groaned around him, your throat not able to handle it as your nails began to sink deep into his thighs, leaving crescent-shaped marks on his skin.

"oh, what do I have here?" jaemin said, holding back his moans. "my little slut can't take all this cock? such a shame, my boy." he started thrusting into your mouth without any sign of mercy, not caring about the tears streaming down your cheeks.

jaemin moaned loudly as his warm cum filled your mouth, the salty taste coating your tongue. he pulled away and you coughed, his cum barely escaping your lips when he forcefully pushed his fingers in your mouth. "swallow, now."

[averyfromzero]

"breathe on me"

pairing: na jaemin x male reader summary: you live in a dorm with your best friends jeno, jaemin and jisung - with a friends with benefits deal with the first two. on a sleepless night, jaemin comes to your room looking for some action. notes: canon universe, smut, friends with benefits, reader is also an idol, cockwarming, jaemin is a top! *you can consider this to be placed in the same universe as "lazy sunday"!

words: 1.6k

Living with Jeno, Jaemin and Jisung led to the four of you growing close together until you were all each other's best friends. Despite not being part of the group, you clicked with the NCT Dream members so quickly that soon it did feel like you were all part of the same team. While you shared a room with Jeno, Jaemin and Jisung shared another.

After just a few months living together, you, Jeno and Jaemin ended up building a friends with benefits deal with each other during a period in which your schedules were so stressful that you guys ended up turning to each other for some relief. While Jisung isn't a part of the deal (he's straight!), he knows. (Ok, maybe he only found out about it after catching you guys in a threesome in the living room once... He was traumatized)

This time, you were sleeping peacefully on your bed. Jeno was also quietly snoring away on his own bed on the other side of the room. That was until a certain intruder comes into the room.

Silently, Jaemin opens your room door and sneaks in, wearing only pajama pants while his toned chest was on display. He tried clicking the door closed silently as to not wake anyone.

Swiftly, he makes his way to your bed and leans in close to you, hand on your shoulder. He calls your name in whispers while gently shaking you until you start to awaken.

With sleepy serrated eyes, you turn slightly to look at whoever interrupted your sleep. In the dark, you notice Jaemin's pretty face looking down on you. "Hm?"

"I can't sleep", he whispers. "Can I sleep with you?"

Instead of giving him a response, you move on your bed to make space for your friend to join you. You feel your back against the wall and wait for Jaemin to pull up the covers and crawl into bed.

You watch as he comes close and notice how he's not wearing any shirt. His chest is getting so toned, and his shoulders are already so big. You were loving this new buff era your friend was getting into.

As Jaemin settled on the bed, he moved his right arm around you and motioned you to come closer. You lied your head on his chest and felt as his arm wrapped around you, hand moving under your shirt to caress your back. You hummed in content.

Getting yourself more comfortable, you positioned your leg over your friend's and snuggled closer, using your right hand to draw circles around Jaemin's plump chest.

After a few seconds, you noticed how Jaemin's hand was moving suspiciously down your back, getting closer and closer to your sleeping shorts. Simultaneously, you felt on your leg as something grew bigger and harder under your friend's pants.

Ah, right. That's what he came here for.

"Jaemin."

"Hm?"

"Wanna fuck?"

You look as Jaemin slightly nods and drives his hand under the fabric of your shorts, grabbing a handful of your meaty ass and squeezing.

Mimicking his move, you also slip your hand under his pajama pants, feeling the wiry pubic hair he keeps tidy before feeling the hardening meat and wrapping your fingers around it.

Taking advantage of the fact that you have your face on his bare chest, you start sucking on Jaemin's nipple while you stroke his 7-incher to full hardness. He moans at the wet sound of your lips and tongue around his nipple.

Once Jaemin's cock is fully hard, you decide to slide down his torso until you're facing his tented-up pajama pants. You slide down the fabric to his mid-thigh and sees your friend's rock hard cock spring up in the dark, tip shining with precum.

Wrapping your hand around Jaemin's shaft again, you move your head closer to it and wrap your wet lips around the tip, tasting his salty precum and the taste of his milky skin. Jaemin tasted delicious.

You heard as Jaemin moaned and brought his right hand to the back of your head, motioning you to move on his dick. Giving in, you started to bob your head up and down his hard cock, thoroughly wetting it.

After a few minutes of endless sucking, you felt Jaemin pull you gently off his cock, a string of spit connecting your lips to the tip of his member.

You moved on the bed so you were face-to-face with your friend again and leaned in, connecting your spit-covered lips with his. Jaemin was eager and immediately darted his tongue inside your mouth, hand on the back of your head as you two made out intensely.

When you felt the need to pull back to breathe, you promptly adjusted your position so you were laying on your back to let Jaemin know you were ready for the next step.

Jaemin sat up and moved until he was sitting in between yours legs, using his strong hands to part them so he could fit his hips against yours perfectly. Before anything else happened, he leaned in again to make out with your for a few more minutes, still intense from arousal. You loved how eager Jaemin was whenever he was horny, acting all dominant while still being gentle.

While making out heatedly, you felt as Jaemin started to pull down your sleeping shorts along with your boxer briefs until you were naked from the waist down. The cold air-con air in the room hit your crotch and you felt a chill running down your legs.

Breathless once again, Jaemin pulled off and sat up in a way so he could remove his own pajama pants, leaving himself completely bare. Even in the dark, you couldn't help but marvel at the sight of your friend's hot body in front of you. Gorgeous face, strong arms, plump chest, defined abs, and a big juicy cock. Your best friend was one sexy motherfucker.

Knowing you had already been fucked by Jeno earlier, Jaemin didn't bother taking out the lube and prepping you too long. All he did was ask for you to suck on two of his fingers and then entered them in your ass for a minute before you were ready.

You watched as he spit on his hand and stroked his cock with it for a few seconds before holding it still and pressing it against your awaiting hole. Didn't take much to go all the way in as you were already used to it. You heard Jaemin groan once he was completely inside.

Worried that you might've woken up your other best friend sleeping on the other side of the room, you and Jaemin turned to check. Jeno was still sound asleep. You didn't care if he watched or not (it already happened multiple times before anyway), but you didn't want to bother him in his sleep and risk your friend waking up grumpy the next morning.

Relieved, you two faced each other again and you felt as Jaemin slowly pulled out before slamming his hips against yours again. He was a pro at it, he knew how to slam you hard enough to make you feel it but not enough to make too much noise. He smirked as you reacted to his strong thirst.

Jaemin had his hands on each side of your head so you had the privileged view of his huge biceps flexing to keep himself up while he thrusted in and out of your hole eagerly (but careful not to make a fuss). His chest and abs were starting to glisten a bit as sweat formed over his milky soft skin. It was a sight to behold.

After a few minutes of continuous thrusting, Jaemin started to feel his arms getting tired from holding himself up in that position. Pulling out of you momentarily, your friend motioned you to lay on your side as he positioned himself behind you and promptly made his way inside you again, continuing to fuck you right away.

You couldn't help but groan in pleasure once Jaemin started to hit your prostate repeatedly, hugging you from behind as he chased his own orgasm as well. You didn't bother stroking yourself to completion and just held onto Jaemin's strong arms that were holding you tight as you waited for him to make you cum untouched as he'd already done several times before.

You could tell Jaemin was getting close to his orgasm once his thrusts became less rhythmic and a bit more sloppy, slamming against your butt with more impact and less worried about not making too much noise.

You felt as he leaned in closer and his face was against your shoulder, heavy breathing blowing on your skin. You could hear his low grunting each time he thrusted in with force and tightened his grip around you.

It didn't take long before you felt your cock twitch and a rush of pleasure run up and down your body as you climaxed. While at it, you involuntarily clenched your hole and drew a long groan out of Jaemin, who reached his high right then and there, cumming inside you as he pressed his nose against your neck as to try holding back a louder moan while his legs trembled slightly at the intense orgasm.

You two stayed still for a couple minutes, breathing heavily as you recovered from your intense climaxes. You felt as Jaemin lazily left a few wet kisses on your neck and muttered out a deep "thanks" before he reached down for the blanket that had been tossed around unknowingly during sex to cover the two of you back again.

Once the room was silent again, you two noticed as Jeno snored softly on his bed on the other side of the room, letting you know he never once woke up while Jaemin pounded into you. Getting comfortable, you two drifted off into a peaceful slumber while Jaemin was still balls deep inside your ass and kept his arms around you.

[jaelvr]

bad

Home | NCT Dream masterlist |

Requested : no

Prompts ; 3.  “Let’s just stay here–I don’t ever want to move.” + 18. “What took you so long? I missed you…” 

Pairing : boyfriend! Jaemin x reader

Pronouns : you/yours

Type : fluff

Word count : 330

Warnings : mutual feelings, established relationship, idol au, fluff, slightly ooc

Have a great day !! 

——————————

“What took you so long? I missed you…”  he whined, earning a giggle from you as you lay next to him, Jaemin wasting no time in pulling you tightly into his chest. "I'm sorry sweetheart. I stopped off at the store to get us snacks and your coffee." you murmured, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. "Guessing you feel lazy today?" you asked, caressing his cheek. He hummed, delicately holding your wrist and pecking it. “Let’s just stay here–I don’t ever want to move.” he mumbled, nuzzling into your neck more.

He held you in his arms, burying his face into the crook of your neck and took a deep inhale, inhaling your scent. "Just let me hold you like this forever." He sighed contentedly as he wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling his head into your neck and giving you soft nuzzles with his face while he pressed his body up to yours. "I'm not complaining, nana." you whispered, kissing his cheek. "I love you." He murmured softly against your skin, giving you light kisses on your cheek and neck while still holding you in his arms and nestling his head in your neck. He ran his fingers through your hair, lightly scratching his nails on your scalp, loving the feeling of you in his arms, the warmth of your skin, your scent, everything about you.

He hummed softly, loving the words of affection you were giving him. His arms wrapped around you tightly, holding you close against him as a way to reassure himself that you were there. He kissed your cheek again, rubbing his face against yours as he buried his face into the crook of your neck and took a deep exhale, his nostrils filling with the scent of you. He hummed softly, pressing his head against yours as he closed his eyes and exhaled, finding comfort in your presence and touch.

He could never have a bad day as long as he had you.

[kpopsexstories]

Hey! Can you do a Jaemin x bottom male reader smut where M/R has a muscle kink? If so, that'd be amazing. Thanks! <3

QUICK FIX GAY #3: NCT Jaemin X Male Reader Muscle Kink

This is a 100% gay story. Check out this post for my straight smut and this post for more gay smut.

Pairing: Top NCT Jaemin x Bottom Male Reader

Content: Muscle appreciation, Lotus/Face-off position

Type of Sex: WILD

Word Count: 1,345

“Can I touch?” you asked and leaned in close.

Jaemin's face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Sure,” he said and spread his broad thighs wide, stretching his tiny shorts over his boner.

“Oh, no,” you said and laughed. “I meant your muscles.”

You gently placed a hand on Jaemin's bare shoulder. “Oh,” he said and quickly closed his legs. He looked embarrassed. “Yeah, go ahead.”

You traced your fingers over his smooth skin. You felt his strong arms and gave his biceps a squeeze. Jaemin sat still and shirtless with his eyes closed, and enjoyed the sensation of your soft touch.

Your eyes and mind were fully focused on his gorgeous, muscular body. You moved your hand down his arm and up again, then to his flexing chest and down to his abs. He was leaning against bed frame and when your fingers tickled his torso he tensed his muscles, making his front toned and hard.

“Ah, fuck,” you moaned and adjusted your position. Simultaneously, the bulge in Jaemin's tight shorts grew.

Your fingers reached his defined v-line and pinched the seams of the shorts. Jaemin – aroused by your sensual touch – adjusted his position too, causing the boner to brush against your arm.

“Ughn,” he whispered and opened his mouth, the pressure on the tip of his dick sending wonderful and erotic sensations through his body.

Your hand slid slowly over the shorts and down to his broad thigh. He spread his legs wider and his knee rested in your lap. You squeezed the thigh with the full size of your palm, your fingers barely even covering half of his thick leg. You pushed harder on his skin as the wonderful, erotic tingle spread through your own body too.

“Please,” Jaemin moaned still with his eyes closed. “Don't tease.”

You smiled wide to yourself. “Okay,” you said softly, and moved your hand quickly to his solid bulge. You squeezed the outline of the hard boner and he raised his ass high from the bed, pushing his dick into your hand with lust and passion.

“Mm, please,” he whimpered and flexed his sexy muscles.

You better give the man what he wanted.

*****

“Ugh, uhhh, huuh,” Jaemin moaned and panted each time he pushed his dick back inside your ass. He hadn't moved an inch form his spot, still sitting on the bed leaning against the bed frame. But by now he was butt naked – as were you – and you were in his lap intimately riding his cock.

Your hands and eyes were still fully focused on his muscular body. Each time the man thrust slowly but passionately into your body, stretching your hole wide and filling it with his solid dick, his chest and abs tensed. You squeezed various parts of his body to feel their intricate details and the powerful flexing.

His chest was big and could hardly fit into your hand. His shoulder was broad with long and distinct veins. Even there you could tell that he worked out a lot.

His biceps altered between being big and soft, and firm and toned, each time he pulled on your hips and ass to make you roll faster over his pulsing boner.

When he thrust into you by raising his ass slightly, his thighs below your cheeks became hard as rock. His strong legs could lift you with ease, and the movement made you feel amazing things.

Your dick was resting on Jaemin's abs, gliding up and down the waves of his stomach with each slow but firm jolt. Pre-cum seeped out of the head, which was then smeared across his abs by the gliding motions of your shaft.

Jaemin's skin became wet and slippery. Your dick was hard and became lubricated. It felt incredibly erotic the way you rode him.

Jaemin's orgasm was fast approaching. He put an arm around your back and pulled himself toward you, while spreading his legs wider below you. He used his hands to rock his ass back and forth on the mattress, and the bed began to bump against the wall.

You raised your ass slightly and locked your body by tensing your muscles. With one hand on Jaemin's shoulder and the other pressing against his big, hard chest, you sat on your knees and let the man jam himself into you at an ever increasing pace.

Jaemin's skin began to glisten. His whole front became sticky and moist – not just by pre-cum – as he perspired, and the sheets and pillow behind his back became soaked.

“Huuuuh, uuhhg, ahhhh,” he repeated louder an louder.

“Mm, holy shit,” you exclaimed in a low voice. The way his cock stretched and filled your hole was intense and wonderful.

Your hand soon slipped down the chest and abs one last time, where you found your own dick and wrapped your fingers around the shaft. You began to stroke and pleasure your pulsing boner, while Jaemin's throbbed inside you.

His firm grip around your back and hip tightened. You could feel his imminent eruption. His muscles stopped going soft between thrusts. His entire, sweaty body remained hard, and his face tensed as he grimaced and clutched his teeth.

“Ahh, fuuuck,” he ground loudly when he was so close to the edge even his strong muscles struggled to stay in control. ”Mm, fuck, you're so hot!”

You held your breath to feel every detail of his hard and slippery dick inside you. He rubbed you fast, hitting just the right spot, until he came and his entire body jolted.

He practically threw himself at you. You caught him in your arms and wrapped them around his neck and shoulders. He buried his face in your chest while you squeezed him around the sides with your knees and thighs.

“Ahh, fuck!” he repeated. He began to breathe heavily, heaving for air against your skin. His sweaty forehead slid up and down on your chest while his thrusting hips caused your body to shake and bounce on his dick.

Throughout it all your kept your hand firmly fixed around your shaft. You flapped your hand furiously, panting into Jaemin's hair while jerking off between your moist bodies.

The head became red as your fingers prevented blood from reaching it. The sea of pre-cum in which it had bathed caused a wonderful sensation. Soon, pre-cum was not all that came out of your rock hard boner.

Your face crumpled. You grimaced and held your breath. Then, when you released, your breath became deep and heavy in an instant.

“Ahhhh, Ahhhh, Yeees, fuck my ass!” you pretty much screamed when you orgasmed.

You shot your load onto Jaemin's flexing abs, soaking his front in white liquid. He abruptly raised his head and stared up at you, to protect his face from the ejaculation.

When you were done and your body sank onto his lap, the back of your hand slid through the sea against his abs, gliding all over his sperm-drenched and wash-board-like stomach.

“Holy fuck,” Jaemin said. He was still trying to catch his breath.

“Damn,” you moaned and chuckled. “That was incredible!”

You looked down at Jaemin's droopy face. “Yeah,” he said with his mouth half open, his body still heaving and thrusting gently.

When you both calmed down, you returned your focus to his muscles again. He relaxed and leaned back, his big hands and arms resting on your thighs while you gently stroke his chest and sides.

“Fuck you're hot,” he said and looked up and down your front.

“No, you're hot,” you said and giggled, smiling wide back at him.

Even when his muscles were spent and dormant he looked broad and fit. He occasionally tensed up which felt great between your legs, his dick at half attention inside you.

You were so glad he let you touch him like this, and totally happy with his big muscles in any state.

Oh, how hot his chiseled body was, and how erotic and sensual they made you feel. The man was nothing short of perfection.

[star-suh]

not-so-opposites attract

na jaemin x male reader

cw: some bit of chest worshipping, nipple play, rough sex, enemies with benefits, porn with no plot, breeding, a sparkle of dacryphilia, kinda 3rd person pov at the final sentence.

an: this was rushed and short, idk what i did but i love jaemin and his chest so….

—

everyone knew m/n and jaemin were mortal enemies since day 1 at university, they're both smart and started to compete against each other to always be the first. bit not everyone knew that they been fucking behind doors like bunnies. it all started in one of they usual bickering "aww does baby y/n gonna cry again for not being the number 1 again" mocked jaemin, "shut the fuck up stupid asshole, I will never gonna cry for something related to you… you can't make me cry dumbfuck" replied y/n angrily… "I'm sure I can make you cry dumbo" jaemin said while pushing y/n's shoulder to the back, "bet" said y/n with a mocking smile.

—

"come on, don't hold back those pretty tears y/n, let them out" jaemin teases y/n while pounding hard his ass. y/n was doing everything that has never been done before to don't cry and hold back his moans, but it was impossible with jaemin's big dick brushing his prostate, making him roll his eyes for the delicious sensation…

y/n decided to just give into the pleasure and just enjoy the exciting sight he has in front of him. "yes, that's a good boy" jaemin kissed and licked y/n's tears and the kisses him "fuck it jaemin, fuck me hard and deep, make me cry for the pleasure" y/n demanded and jeamin decided to just follow the order and started thrusting at an animalistic pace. meanwhile y/n's stare was fixed onto jaemin's chest looking how big is it and how it bounces everything he pounds him… "like what you see?" jaemin asked you looked at him and it was the most perfect view you have ever seen, jaemin looking directly at you with his pretty eyes, covered in sweat and showing you that goddamn perfect smile, y/n just nodded, "then do something with them" winked the older.

y/n starts to just squeeze the older's chest, pinching his nipples and sucking on them "fuck you're pecs taste so good jaemin, I might get addicted to it" moaned the younger sucking on one nipple with playing with the other, "you can have them every time you want nasty boy, and i am gonna keep excersing them to keep 'em plump just for you" replied jaemin and immediately kissed y/n.

both keep fucking for more than an hour, y/n abused hole was red, gaping and oozing with jaemin's cum "it feels so good inside you fucker i might get addicted to it too" whispered jaemin who was laying on top of y/n after pulling out his dick, "you can have it anytime you want too I guess…" whispered y/n too who was kissed by jaemin. both fighting for dominance with their tongues, a battle that obviously jaemin won, drool falling for their mouth while they kissed so desperately… "I hate you so fucking much jaemin" said y/n, "i hate you too fucker" smiled jaemin kissing y/n's forehead "now let's get clean and keep fighting, sex with you is better when your angry, you know" the older winked making y/n blush "stop talking bullshit motherfucker" the younger punched jaemin who helped y/n getting dressed.

since that day the pair keeps fucking while they still swear they hate each other… maybe at the end of the day they're both dumb because they don't know that what they feel is the other 4-letter word…

[mins-fins]

i CAN feel .. 𝒏a jaemin

👑 ,  ❝ i want to fill my mouth with your name. i want to eat you whole . ❞ ─ pablo neruda

⠀૪    જ the prince of regnum morsu has always been the slightest bit peculiar, looking to devour, appearing to yearn for the very taste of ..

pairing, na jaemin x male!reader.

genre, alternate universe, medieval & mid–1800s combination, romance, ..fluff(?), inspired by many gothic tales, (attempted) horror, strange cryptid jaemin, royal au, arranged marriages.

warnings, violence, murder, cannibalism, romanticizing cannibalism 😕, blood & gore, implied sexual content, initial corpse details, somewhat unhealthy relationships, reader is pretty pathetic, jaemin is a strange creature (which is not specified).

word count, 7.3k.

notes, first real post of 2025 lets go!! cant get over my final work of 2024 being jaemin & my first one being jaemin again.. i love this strange mf 🫶 please do head all of the warnings given because this thing sort of goes into a few grisly details!! i obviously do not condone cannibalism i just enjoy love being expressed through wanting to consume your partner bone by bone <33 its romantic 💖 as always, user junjiie, my forever technical beta reader, i love you 🫶🫶 always so receptive to my ideas even when its THIS monstrosity 😭😭 it really killed me to write idk 🤷‍♂️ i just enjoy writing strange creature jaemin and i love daphne du maurier btw 😊.

YOU COULD BEST DESCRIBE REGNUM MORSU AS DEAD.

death awaits all souls, and maybe the landscape of the kingdom is somewhat akin to sand slowly allowing for you to sink, taking everything which equates you to a human being. tragedy permeates the earth, even the nocturnal creatures fear the weight of the land under their feet, less of crunching dirt and more of crunching bones after each step.

the liveliness of the subjects are all which save the incarnation of ruination which is this kingdom. without the tunes, the gatherings in the square, the dancing, the sheer joy of containment concerning human relations, this kingdom would be the haunting walk it so much exudes.

despite its own state, there’s beauty in the picture of death.

yet tonight can be excused, it is a much different story.

“a body has been discovered just before the palace”.

you would often assume your nightmares could not escape your mind, if you do not dwell, how could they escape its corners? well it seems you’ve mistaken the extent of this kingdom, though death is as mundane as the rising of the sun, the astonishment remains festered in the air.

the council falters for a singular moment, in spite of the clear feat of normalcy, there’s a rise to the worry. the gleam of concern causes for the widening of eyes, frantic pupils glancing back and forth as the situation attempts to be assessed.

one soul remains dormant though.

you find yourself releasing a wince at the alarming details. he was one of the knights stationed outside, the bones of his skull protruded out from where his head had been completely lacerated. there laid bite marks sunken into his skin, animals bites potentially? but what kind of animal snaps a bone in a singular bite? 

“what kind of creature..?”

“that is what we are all thinking” it is clear that nobody can help their own fear, you cannot place blame on them for that. “were trying to see if we can.. capture it”.

you stifle a scoff at such a suggestion, the trembling of their undertones alone sells that the feat at which they appear to think they can capture this thing is faulty at best, it needs reparation, there’s none of courage in each of their singular glances.

you suppose you have to hand it to them for the attempt.

“what do you think it might have been? some undiscovered wolf?”

“it’s not the time for comedy, your majesty”.

with the quirk of an eyebrow, na jaemin relays his pure amusement, no such need for words. you envy his seemingly born courage, not even the flinch of a facial muscle, it is as if the gruesome nature of the execution is just another tick on a yet rising pile.

you manage to shake out of your thoughts, assuming his degree of empathy is ridiculous, he could just cope with passing in a differing manner. your gaze falls to the ring caged around your finger, the spontaneous paleness of it causing a drop in your stomach, you didn’t realize the tightness of it.

when you cease your staring, jaemin’s eyes burn into the side of your head, a small smile tugging at his lips, chatter fading into the background as it seeps into ear bleeding noise.

but you cannot wince, focus lasered in on the pierced eyes of your fiancé. you do not fear him, yet it appears as if he has earned a ticket to your very own mind, each distinct wavelength of thought sprawling outward, not perfectly hidden in the corners you folded them into.

his lips remain upturned, an indescribable gleam shadowed by his voided pupils. “are you alright, your highness?”

they’re speaking much too high, you’re afraid of your ears popping, jaemin opts to turn in his seat, speaking no words to you. “just a little disturbed”.

the words are scarily lessened, yet you surmise those surrounding you still capture the fear of your undertone.

you cross your arms in feigned defiance, as though the air would sink its own barred fangs into you, ripping seams from your neck with the simultaneous blood pour following the crushing of your bones.

a painstaking demise, you ponder on when the fear would take form. might it possibly begin in the same manner as the ripping of your muscle, or perhaps the trepidation would descend as the life drained from your soul, skin paling, eyes rolling back, bones snapping in tandem.

you have much time to consider such a thing, you’re aware the wedding will be delayed.

you do not mind that.

“it hasn’t become a pattern yet, guards will remain stationed outside”.

a whisp of the air, hot breath behind your ear you have bright knowledge does not exist. you shiver, aware someone must have caught that.

that lonely night, you dream of death in the form of a beast. tearing at the cursed remains of your soul with the pure white gleam of its fangs, crushing the bones of your body with pure animosity. you would have no time to escape, all life coming to a nought.

you assumed the death which would grasp at the strings of your viability may appear beautifully, a face of clear artistry. perhaps you would pass in your sleep, eyes peacefully fluttered shut as life slipped away. yet you now have the mind to comprehend a newly settled fear, this creature, a monstrous varmint attempting to gnaw through the protective barrier of your skin.

your existence may now depend on the ability of this thing to stalk around the palace, the palace of a kingdom defined by its deadly curse. you offhandedly realize the danger of your arrangement, yet what can you do besides allow for it to unfold?

after allowing for several hours to pass, your eyes unwillingly flit upward, darkness shrouding visibility, ticking clock akin to the countdown of terror, an imaginary behemoth scales the walls, golden pupils staring intensively into your soul, serrated edges of teeth pulling at the confines of your heart in spite of the clear deterrence you attempt to make face with.

you fear sleep, so you do not sleep.

THERE APPEARS TO BE SOMETHING TERRIBLY WRONG WITH THE CROWN PRINCE OF REGNUM MORSU.

you have always linked the worst of your nightly thoughts to your insane extent of observance, the act of you picking up on singular traits, quirks, peculiarities that no one person would utter to another human being without a feat of embarrassment.

prior to the engagement, you had always perceived na jaemin as just a little odd. children often perceive the unknown as strange, yet na jaemin carries the eccentricities in adulthood, split smiles, voided out irises, unmoving molars which appear jagged once you allow a squint, curls of hair strands unrealistically unalloyed in a hue of white.

the titular moment you laid your eyes upon na jaemin, childish naivety surrounding your circle, you feared him. feared the conundrum of him, feared the clear darkness of his eyes which contrasted the bright shade of his hair, white you could not make sense of.

and the engagement brought out oddities you could not comprehend prior, something of a mystifying element added onto his presence. yet over the years, the formerly habitual fear has become something much more..

you assume the strange likeness is one of his most prominent qualities, though his parents often irk you, they are not as anomalous as the man they brought into the world. occasionally, you assume he may not even be of human nature.

you have known him for long enough that it all simply contains its own fit of normalcy.

of course, the thoughts shall remain entrapped in your mind.

just up until two more guards appear slain before the gates, face paled, the structures of their skeletons protuberant, skin— oh lord, you feel yourself growing disgusted.

after a consistent nightmarish battle with your inner conscious, you spare yourself the definite details, instead yearning for some degree of isolation.

the marriage shall be pushed back, knights will no longer be stationed outside, the subjects are now granted a curfew in order to ensure their own safety, the king can’t risk any more accidents before the ending of his term.

you spend days scouring the library’s romance novels, fearing that if you blink severely enough the entity would flash before your vision. you do not make time to listen during important discussions, having to catch yourself once the titular spot on the walls begin to blur your sight, not even the callings of your name enough to snap your conscious into working order.

you so desperately yearn for the solace of your home kingdom, agitation grasping at your soul, now seemingly guiding your movements. you long for the peak of sunshine, there appears to be nothing of light in this place, the air devoid of soul, life, animation. you ache for your parents, in spite of their consistent arguments, they provided you with some necessary protection.

but you are no longer a child, a simple monster should not be enough to petrify you.

in order to not sink into your fit of terror, you occupy your time with reading and painting, an illustration of the creature which plagues your nightly thoughts.

you are able to scribble through eight of those before you feel the settlement of horror.

“y/n, i feel you are taking this strangely”.

for all his own abnormalities, na jaemin’s parents appear to be as mundane in the daylight. you stare down your creations, feeling the carving of your own sockets, lethargy seizing you by the throat.

“i’m simply.. curious”.

you suppose the mechanism of your subsistence is clearly inquiring, and by the flickers of their eyes, the debate of if they should have engaged you to their son is clear.

well, their son is enough of an atypical figure, they have no place to judge.

“those look.. beautiful”.

in contrast, na jaemin appears enamored at the sight of your art pieces, splattered red paint coinciding with the widening of his eyes, the blank shade jumping out to your own, you cannot even make out a gleam, it is the slightest bit disturbing.

yet there remains a degree of devotion, a deep sense of partiality, it appears he intends to remain transfixed by your artwork, nothing of a falter in each singular movement.

you are thoroughly perturbed.

“all of them are hand painted?”

“with my very own ones” you whisper, beaming off that of the lamp, his pupils widen in manual astonishment. the engrossment outweighs any chance of reason, it appears he will not emphasize on external stimulus. a stark warmth encapsulates you, the shy appreciation does wonders to your very heart, something of a miracle. “do you.. uh— enjoy them?”

he steps closer, the curvatures of his fingertips tracing the esteemed canvas, corners seeming to stab, yet falters whisking out into the air. “you are dementedly adroit”.

“well i was just painting based on my night terrors” he spares a glance, and the speck of affection settles a fit of disquietude, for an unsure moment, you fear the presence of a man who you are bonded to by none other than a slab of golden jewelry, a man who, in a odd manner, you also cannot help but desire in the same breath. “can’t even muse on where my mind went when i crafted these..”

and spontaneously, he occurs closer, frightening you enough it manifests in a physical reaction, a wince caught in your teeth. it did not even arise that his footsteps are startlingly silent, it is as if he simply surfaced besides your own, materializing out of the air’s own particles. how does one perform such a thing?

his lips pursue, the cracking of his bones emitting a daunting sense in your very own blood, heart yearning to burst out of your skin. he unnaturally bevels his head sideways, boring through the valor you attempted to fasten in place. “there appears to be something wrong, are you bothered y/n?”

suddenly, there descends a chill across your being. lord, should this room not be hot? should his occupancy not be the catalyst of calefaction? why are you chilling?

“no, i’m simply weary”.

you do not mean to display full dishonesty, yet you cannot help it.

and then, you have your stomach twist when his guise transforms into that of concern, a latterly aspect of his face which you haven’t seen. guilt grabs at your heart, you are unsure how.

“make sure you sleep, alright?”

regard, perhaps you may blush.

“thank you for the notice, i will”.

oh, well you suppose the oddities stray far once proximity nears. you happen to enjoy observing the crescents of his features, because you can state the prospect of beauty, na jaemin conveys beauty, you could sketch that of his own concaves, already picturing a perfect painting.

yet a degree of alarm remains.

THE FOLLOWING NIGHTS, SEVERAL OTHER BONES CRUSH UNDER THE FORCE OF TEETH.

you physically regurgitate, fearing the inevitable sickness which typically seizes you in tandem with consternation. existential dread may be your downfall, the expanse of your mind, and contingent upon your very scrutiny, will completely overtake any of your credible sense, tears welling up in your eyes, all safety naught.

the palace encapsulates impending doom, your sight appears to be pulling strings of its own. you envision bite marks, engravings cursed into your skin, the fracture of your skeletal structure now plaguing your days, no longer secluded in the form of your nightmares.

the pattern of a bodily pile continues, yet you strive to venture down a contrasting path, possibly able to distract yourself by burying your nose in absorbent literature.

the palace swallows you whole, the terror rendering you unable to escape its clutches, however, you are encased by your own unrest.

the night you find the metaphorical monster behind your back a minimal issue, you find the act of treading the extensive hallways to perturb you much more.

you take a small breath as your footsteps shuffle towards the door of a titular room. your defense is meant to be the brick wall cascaded by the supposed hardness of your eyes, but you believe it might not be doing much.

na jaemin settles where you supposed he would settle, atop his bedsheets with a book in hand. your eyes nowhere, his current read being that of ‘madame bovary’, a piece of literature you could only squint at when passing through the library. you surmise from the quirk of his brow that he takes a liking to the novel. “y/n? evening”.

you muse that he appears much too tranquil.

“hello, i..”

you swallow your upcoming words, weakness stabbing at the skin of your stomach. “my apologies, could you accompany me to the cookroom?”

he blinks, eyes devoid of particular passion, yet vibrant with a capital of affection. you really do find his individual qualities strange, down to the movement of his pupils. his eyebrows then jump in a silent display of amusement, fingertips tracing the curves of his storybook. “is something astray?”

you practically tremble at how visible you are. “i’m a little frightened”.

then he spontaneously splits into a smile, allowing for the novel to remain dormant on his sheets. “that is no issue, y/n”.

in clockwork, he emerges beside you, offering his arm for you to cling to. “don’t worry honey, i’ll keep you safe”.

the use of an endearing name could be concern for perturbation, yet you instead feel an encapsulation of warmth. although na jaemin is typically numbing, there’s an air of mellowness which captures you as your arms come to intertwine, the hold providing solace you seek in moments such as this.

“what exactly do you fear?”

the inquiry results in the freezing of your facial muscles, perhaps intrigue is integral in moments such as this, or perhaps this is a trick, it is conceivable to say that he draws amusement from your fright. “well.. the unknown, i suppose”.

there appears to be a gleam across his pupils, absorption you would be an imbecile if unable to pinpoint. “ah, but it is not that bad”.

“how are you so sure?”

“i’m simply gauging the prospect” he whispers, mouth splitting into a smile, the display of his straight white molars alerting you to the uncanny ferocity of the spaces. “there is no need to fret, y/n, i’m here”.

“for protection?”

the sight of the cookroom alerts your eyes, yet you can only gaze upon the man who you surmise is the definition of valiance, you spite your very own mind. “of course”.

you blink, vulnerability overtaking your presence as he slips from your grasp. it appears the protection heightens once he remains close, you do not want for him to leave just yet. “could you.. uh— well, i would enjoy it if you remained by my side for the time being”.

amusement colors his features, humming gleefully. the stretch of his smile pleases you, his smile really is a touching sight, you could sketch out its pattern from memory. “that will not be a trouble”.

the soft sigh which escapes you completely displays your serenity.

THOUGH HE APPEARS TO BE THE PINNACLE OF BEAUTY, you have yourself a fear of the.. humanity regarding the man you are set to marry once the dust settles on these morbid “animal” attacks. when the thought initially crossed the threshold of your mind, you surmised that the demented man some whispered you to be was finally making himself known.

it really does appear ridiculous, na jaemin, for all the abnormal actions of himself, is human. a fairly odd human with fairly oddly sharpened molars, voided out eyes, and the untypical appearance of his limbs, but a human nonetheless.

at least.. you yearn.

there appears to no longer contain order, regnum morsu seizes you by the throat, a knife against your heart and air swallowing you whole.

you suppose one day you might waste away in this kingdom, death coming to fasten your end, there appears to not exist an endless struggle, the tug will not end up in failure, and perhaps you’re a weakling, a pathetic excuse for a man whose right mind has been hindered from the flurry of stories you have been fed in the passing weeks.

it is completely feasible, you are going to perish here, despair scrawled across the stone which will house your corpse.

and na jaemin, he happens to strike the balance of elevated paranoia in tandem with simply.. adherence. you crave a degree of intimacy which appears to have manifested itself out from thoughts you had mislead yourself into believing did not exist, it is not as if the marriage disappointed you, the prospect was aptly plain, a paradox which did not trouble you enough for such thoughts to arise,

you desire the brushing of his curvatures against yours, the astounding delicacy of his fingertips as they make contact with your skin. grown nails cultivating individual marks on the vain, restrained complexion of his simply striking epidermis, teeth barred in the manner of an animal as you unabashedly ground them into the side of his neck, masticating each piece in a singular bite, the bitter lingering of copper remaining on your tongue.

but no sane individual divulges such feelings, you envisage the horror that shall paint the features of your parents, and you’re aware of the petulance of jaemin’s own, they would chop off your head.. astoundingly, that would be a terrific case for you.

you really do despise how far your mind strays, intrusively worming into your conscience, staining every plain thought you could ever have.

na jaemin makes it no better.

and it occurs to you that he is completely aware of that fact, your clear lack of contentment aside, there’s a sense of delight he derives from your plight, lips splitting upward in that terror inducing grin he possesses.

“do you still have night terrors?”

he inquires it to you the following week, accounts of attacks have lessened, yet you remain entrapped by surrounding dread. your nails sink into the conjunction of your shoulder blade, but you neglect to mention such an aspect. “yes but.. i can take care of it myself”.

“aw, don’t you desire my company?” he begins breaching through your safety guard, a specific chord striking in tandem with his candidly alluring smile. “i heard lying along with someone helps do away with them”.

heat coils over your previously unadorned skin, a shade of red evocative of the blood which warms even in the wintry tenor this room holds. you remain frozen, he somehow manages closer. “ah, really? and who states that?”

“that will have to remain a secret”.

you intertwine your fingers before even concluding your contemplation process, basking in the mellow delicacy brought by the contact. your eyes flutter closed, as if completely against your own being, but you do not fret.

you do not exactly recall agreeing with his term, but you suppose your memory does often deviate occasionally, that does not happen to grasp your attention.

what does grasp your attention is the sheer mellowness emanating from such an embrace, you once surmised na jaemin would be cold, you reckon he can be once focus is truly applied, but you have never begun to slip so easily. your breathing steadily plummets to a silent state, chest rising and falling in consistent motions, fatigue rendering your limbs weak.

you question what otherworldly abilities he must hold, head tipping over as your conscious slips. his hand remains on your back, jaemin hums, you cannot see him, yet you envision a beam marking his features. “see, what did i tell you?”

a thumb swipes across the skin of your cheek, a touch so pliable you could fall asleep from just it alone. “..soft” you mutter, lips pressed on the blade of his own shoulder. “i’m exhausted”.

the brush of lips on your forehead just barely breezes by, but by such a point, you’re about halfway gone. “sleep fine, i’ll wake you up tomorrow”.

and you cannot halt such movements, you slip almost insistently.

MEETINGS TACK THE FIGURATIVE SCHEDULE YOU MUSE PROBABLY BURNS INTO your brain, though you typically assumed as a child marriage would be much simpler, you retained little of the knowledge needed for such extensive features riddled in the complexities which scorch the arranged union. your mind is misplaced over the course of a few slipping weeks, and if you had little known knowledge of your surroundings, you would be oblivious to how jaemin breaches through your soul with his stare.

his suddenly spiked intrigue in you is displayed by the several thousand gazes you truly wish you could avoid. he has the prettiest of irises, the softest hands though his palms run frigid, a few sharpened molars yet a strikingly enticing smile.

of course you had been riveted first, a flooding, intense fascination marked once you two were children, you suppose you aren’t exactly superior to him in that regard,

but it begins striking that chord again, a pit burying itself further in the crux of your gut, it takes its own childish turn, your skin tone burning bright red as if it is some playground coquetry, he simply holds so much skill, lording all of it above you in a fashion he is aware you could never avoid.

though that cannot shadow over the impending dismay he can always seize one with.

“you’ve been captured by a bundle of nerves haven’t you?”

your constant grazing of your fingertips against the very ring binding you two is enough indication, you wish to envy such observance but you had been much too keen on displaying such anxiety.

he appears knowing of it all.

his riposting grin earns a physical recoil.

yet there’s a shadow of beauty your gaze is sure he possesses, snow white hair and all.

“this is a bit imbecilic”.

“won’t you brighten?”

the corresponding locutions sprout a small smile, regardless of several other feelings present in the air, he somehow boasts the ability to blossom a beam.

“see? you have a beautiful smile”.

and you attempt to grasp at words which have suddenly whisked away, skin possibly an atypical shade of red.

there is an irretrievable skill, you admit.

“won’t you let me help you?”

you blink, baffled, poking a short nail into the visible skin of your chest. “with— with my shirt? i can do it mysel..”

“what kind of fiancé would i be?” and when he advances you remain in your spot, your core organ threatens to beat out of the confines created by your bones. when he takes ahold of your very hands you gaze, in an almost obtrusive manner, his are astoundingly beautiful, the ends of his fingers curve perfectly into your own, despite a clear unconventionality concerning the civil partnership of you two, he simply.. fits. “you deserve to be spoiled”.

“well not.. spoiled, odd word”.

“not even by me? i have no qualms with it”.

“i..” then his hands cross the figurative barriers you had yourself fasten upward in regards to strangers, it all crumbles speedily, the brick wall fragmented by his plainly frozen hands, prompt points of his fingertips coming to aid you in pinning the buttons of your shirt together. “it’s a little convoluted”.

whispering appears to be his forte, his reply arrives swiftly; “i’m good at decoding people”.

you have diminutive assertions against that one.

the silence is an irreparable exertion you somehow fear though the expectancy rules over the now chilling air.

you peek with the upward flit of your eyes, an encapsulating fear tugging onto the seams of your conscience. jaemin’s gaze retains hunger, faultlessly dimmed over by affinity mysteriously wrought.

a flinch, his thumb dances over your knuckles and the brisk touch withdraws a wince. “ah, you have a problem, do you always bite them?”

you timorously heave yourself away from such a convenience, leer averting as you attempt to disconcentrate. jaemin chuckles, it has a peculiar, harmonious ring, a sweet rhythm you loathe enjoying as much as you do. “i’m simply.. uh—“

well you’re a bit pathetic aren’t you? so entrenched in the confines of your very mind that the prospect concerning a simple tête-à-tête had you just about yearning to perish at his presumptuous peering. “i get overwhelmed easily, it has a better effect than scratching”.

you misread his upcoming expression, the reticent nature of his eyebrow raise unsettling you. “could you not?”

you are slightly baffled. “what?”

“it’s destructive”.

nail biting is a years aged tendency sparked in your juvenescence, simply ridding of it has proven arduous. he appears to miscalculate you in the same breath his confidence overtakes him,

but you cannot say that.

his grip tightens yet you cease the painful sound crawling up your throat, hands threatening to burn a shade of red. “okay”.

he seemingly senses the urging perturbation, movements faltering as he relaxes his tensed limbs. “sorry, i care for you, you know?”

you remain quiet, he hums.

“i won’t ever do anything to harm you” oh his tone is so docile, pupils shaded over with intimacy. “trust me”.

you swallowed down your extent of fear, despite it all, there was a certain degree of benevolence you cherished.

WHEN NA JAEMIN DOES KISS YOU, FOR THE initial moment you’re stagnant, motionless, astonished yet not all averse to such actions. darkness shrouds over the horizon as brisk months reign in, candles blazing in tandem across the halls, effortlessly brightening the atmosphere despite a clear weariness. your limbs had acted upon practice and a step back was taken, expression remaining stalled.

“sorry” his laughter always produces a harmonious rhythm, a sound so pleasurable you constantly wonder the circumstances of such actions. “did you not..?”

“no, no! i—“ well you could merely blink, a stark glance retaining all of the apprehension you could communicate, though silent. “i was put aback, that is all”.

a sullied frown tugs at his lips, his appearance remorseful even in the face of your clear craving, soulful desire you could barely contain in the crevices of your pupils and the continuous exhibition which concerned your very inclination. “is kissing restricted?”

“i..” he is indeed adept at rendering you aghast, tongue tied as your stare lingers. “no, i was unaware our relationship extended far enough”.

the visible light bouncing off his eyes falters a bit, as if planned by those pulling the strings of the universe, an indurate pool of dullness coating it all. he then chuckles, the hysterics a chorus in itself, you are unsure of what to expect from him, courtesy to several peculiarities.

“we have to practice for the wedding”.

a short snicker itself escapes you, amusement as clear as the bright red displaying itself across your cheeks. “you’re charming”.

“ah, really?”

“strange.. but charming”.

he may as well eat you whole, a shadowing creature which reminds you of the word devoro; consume, devour, taken from the roots of devorare; devoravi, devoratus. teeth all illicit, conniving in that evil manner you cannot comprehend, tearing first at your flesh, then muscle, then bone, licking it all clean simply, gore painting the seams of his lips.

yet you are irresolute to just how freakish you would find the sight, in the worst of shades he could possibly behold the world’s beauty.

such a shameless notion is pathetic.

and perhaps you are too, a stout man built off concerning queries.

“how about we just anchor in on the charming point?”

you chuckle again, delight somehow trailing behind you once in his presence, perverse eccentricities and all.

“well it’s..” the mismatched terms lodge themselves in your throat as he purely approaches you, once more, inaudibly, lashes fluttering in their typical fashion. his fingers trail across the fabrics of your shirt, it acting as a barricade towards his veracious desires. you waver, fumbling through terms which should be compatible. “is seduction formidable?”

“what were you speaking of before?”

“i— jaemin..”

“hm?”

a sharp clutch at your collar, his lips hook upward into a grin which entices you greatly, ready serenity faltering.

your sanity shatters in definite fragments.

he latches onto it, some solemn creature, dimmed gaze boring through the enclosure you once prided upon the existence of, yet you are simply so..

frail.

you may well have madness scrawled over your features, permeating the insolent corners of your very mind.

so he does advance again, and you do not stagger astern, in the moment, you solely submerge yourself into the juncture.

kissing is.. odd, on his part anyway. it is as if his proclivity does entail the prospect of drinking your lungs, unhinging his jaw from its point of origin to swallow you whole, scant bones behind in your wake.

the honesty which persists colors your cheeks a baby pink, his drive is uncoordinated, mismatched yet boyishly endearing. its endlessly puerile, a complete disparity to what you might have assumed in specific late night dreams.

he nips at the breaching barrier of your top lip, teeth all perfect as he groans into the seams of your mouth. it’s all foolish, asinine in the fashion concerning a child, uninterrupted clashing with pulling and gnawing, like you supply a ready source for his hunger.

his teeth take a grinding motion in the sector of your neck, you sigh.

“still wedding practice?”

his tongue slides over his teeth, your breath hitches.

he breaches in and takes you apart with easy pulls, his nimble hands embed themselves into the crevices of your sides, barrages of red and purple blossoming in the stitching joints which align your hip bones, overly interfering with the digging of his nails.

it’s all a dizzying prospect, his fingertips figurative markers in the canvas which smudges your epidermis.

he is intensively torrid, blistering despite the frigid stabbing the ends of his digits offer.

the starry stricken actions remind you of scribbled literature, poetry echoing in reference to intimacy, boundless scriptures throughout history concerning love, amor, roaming hands clasping several individual emblems into your typically pallid dermis.

you can muse on several instances where you reflected over love making, isolation leads to those sprawling out perplexing ideations of how their fate may play. the curvatures painted into the ceiling jump out in your vision, figures reaching to entwine fingers despite their inevitable distance.

jaemin lifts a finger, the touch emitting some otherworldly pinch on your temple, cushioned up across your ecru comforter, his features appear all docile in spite of the intimate point shared, laid out bare before you. “your eyes keep brightening in that manner..”

“hm?”

“you are all disconnected, is ceiling architecture truly so riveting?”

you tut, habitually seeking out your unguis to pick at, yet na jaemin instead interlocks your hands, soundless in his scowling. “i’m unsure”.

somehow, he nears, your frames practically woven as the fragmented vaulting artwork resembles something of a dream, dormant pastel shades weaving into each other, an image you can equate to a quite familiar sight.

“do such paintings come with the palace?”

“do i possess all the world’s knowledge?”

you stare. “is that the start of a spurn?”

“is all you do inquire endlessly?”

you fall inaudible, interlaced hands falling atop the door of your heart. jaemin hums.

“your heart beats rapidly, you’re all skittish”.

such a circumstance is unfortunate, you could not illustrate a much fitting word.

MAN OFTEN ESCALATES STRIFE, IT IS OFTTIMES WHY you speculate violence transpires in the manner of an outdated experiment, rapidly evolving upward, surfacing until it all delves into inevitable failure, the gurgling of one’s own blood or the protruding fragments their bones offer. the landscape crunches under your scōns, figurative screams of souls suffocating in the mountains encapsulating nature’s parcels haunting your very ears.

yet you have not been in the face of death for a few yearning months, nightfall extends over the horizon and the numbing atmosphere seizes your nimble heart, rendering you a mere useless vessel.

what pleases your mind is the presence of flora, all slight graces and bated breaths heeds it. there is trivial discrimination on your part, floret all bear beauty; daffodils, irises, daisies, roses in spite of the rudimentary thorns and peonies all alike. they harbor no true judgment, the luminescent moon beams several petals containing grace, across the curves outlining your features which then correspond to the solace easily provided.

the most unsaid of thoughts do not bear a name in the crevices which begat your mind, yet you are aware the inclined hymns of nightly creatures bring out the worst notions any one mortal being could manifest, such an upheaval a stoic plight.

jagged, uncanny corollas about splinter the core of your middle finger when you are alerted by a sound. your eyes flit upward, encompassing ambience encapsulated within the twilight area, veiled in tenebrosity.

nothing, you have a mad mind, y/n.

chastisement does you no aid.

a twig snaps, the racket nearly shaking the encircled environment.

you shut your eyes, avoiding any semblance of antipathy is intelligent, your parents clobber in the like statement ad nauseam, lacking juvenile violence a marker for the clear upshot.

you shake your head, naught imperilment yet a stark disquietude.

you retain a minuscule feat of valor, all which compasses you equates to one fainthearted caitiff, one who could not withstand peril,

yet you take the two steps.

stalking around the overarching woodland bordering the garden is possibly an imbecile’s action. thorny vines form shards in the cross of your epidermis, weaving before your path as if shading you against the inevitable hazard.

but you haphazardly breach through the incorrigible protection offered by mother nature herself, all impetuous, unhandled negligently.

on the outset, you surmise the continuous snapping is of your soles pressed against the ground, a poignant snap resounding in every step.

you are terribly mistaken.

the former uptake of clouds has now dispersed, though you are completely overtaken by whelmed dread.

there stands a.. creature, wolf-like features all nowt, a nauseating crack echoes throughout the environ, magnetic pulsars reverberating off the walls. its jaw extends, splintering, inhumane, hanging onto the point at which it begins. enlarged claws drawn from the seams of its fingertips, it towers over the surface its feet begin at.

you, insoluble in all sane mind, are starstruck.

throughout the several pages of scorned literature which permeate your mind, you have never once envisioned the skeletal structure regarding such a behemoth, but this is no veridical varmint.

frankly, the sight is obscene, though such a statuette has not once beliked the eyes of one human being, yet you gaze upon it, alive, fragmentary..

the thing is much akin to leviathans, swines you had sworn to fiction in the safety of your shy story books, its protuberant skeletal frame distended from the very corium which relays the sliver of humanity a beast could retain.

then it descends upon its victim and.. oh lord how you do not purge up every single internal vapor at the grotesque sight. he is hapless, seraphic phenomena nowt as it takes one ceremonious bite, resounding in a abhorrent crunch to destroy formerly order bones in the seams of his chest cavity.

your breaths remain intact, a dutiful action which could possibly save you a couple years.

it is ruthless in its execution, the overgrown claws obtruding from inhumane limbs sinking into the core of the human senses; the heart. ribs snaps in tandem with trenchant talons euchring the man’s existing cutis, blood beginning a violent stream as his continuing beating heart seemingly withstands the barbarous strafe.

you are aware of how it may transpire, you are an imbecile! you ought to evade such a discerning affair and hasten.

yet you gaze on, enigmatic, the inscrutable urging to merely perceive such gnarled events, perhaps inciting your very demise, a death which you had narrowly circumvented with impromptu prosperity.

ichor almost poetically stains the lamented land you and all others associate the air of regnum morsu with, coloring it with vibrancy one would surmise could only be caused by celebrations of human life.

you suppose it is much forthright.

clear thought is steered clear once the hankering creature, abundantly immersed in feasting on the heart of one innocent man, pauses in their maneuvering, as if sensing your very presence, you muse on how far you would make it to ready safety, aptly falling into the arms of your parents in the manner of a skittish child, sobbing into the night.

yet you are once again frozen in your locus, the purging pool in your stomach relinquishing.

its..

“jaemin?”

indeed, it is the scrawled face of your imminent husband, golden marriage token binding you to him. a spate of several conversations hastily meeting the points which intersect your mind with your common sensibility.

the sight is sickening, a ravishing grin overtaking his distinct facets, gore staining the formerly vain white of his teeth, softening pupils akin to the unlit ether relegated by the existing sky. he does not allow a kindred terror to grip his heart, unlike the one he had been mauling.

you despise your very fortitude, you cannot help.. well,

he is beautiful, almost ethereal, otherworldly in his denominative modus. your blink produces teardrops you had little cognizance of, though you conserve the inevitable sniveling.

“y/n” and oh, may the lord forgive you for your actions, peering in the direction of this monster, yet you reside, circumstances enigmatic to your very sanity, how does one oppose a prospect?

the back of his hand comes smeared over with blood as he seemingly polishes himself, a sheer amount tinting definite strands of white.. red. a sight paralleling the printed words regarding the queen of hearts painting her white roses red. “ah, i wished for this to hap another way”.

you grapple with deduced terms, inhaling a long breath.

“you want to sob”.

your riposting head shake displays lucid dishonesty. “well.. i—“

foreseeable words perish in your throat, his stupor dissolves, and he again inclines back into the jaemin you know, startlingly peculiar, yet not an entire monster.

you whimper, his stained hands come to cradle your cheeks. the slight caress jostles a sob upward from the crux of your chest, blood painting your very own skin despite the nearby ferocity. “pardon me, it’s simply.. difficult”.

your sleeve acts as a cushion, drying up your tears. a swiping finger, your teeth sink into the side of your cheek. “you— a bath, you’re filthy”.

it’s a pragmatic approach, a man’s heart lay bare over the grassy landscape, yet you have apprehension concerning the portrayal of your fiancé.

he chuckles, the first of many pink tints accompanying his rejoinder.

you two interlock hands, solicitously, uncanny callousness meeting your very fingertips.

in sickness and in health, they muse, till death do us part.

AMANS SEMPER, QUOD TIMET, ESSE PUTAT; a lover believes it to be as he fears. your several durational stints are pervaded by absorbent literature, tempura airbrushing permeating the air fumes, and an anomalous expanse of displayed macabre, distempered varnishes staining several of your very canvases, clashing hued red only deciphered with the slightest narrows.

the marriage shall go forward, the reflection of your aureate trinket reminding you each moment. per capita, jaemin insights hindrance, prodding at the seams of your very mind which clearly does not detest, you surmise that something has to be wrong with him.

yet you suppose uncanny cheshire grins and flagrant embraces he feigns all innocence to are little of an indicative hassle, you covertly enjoy such disturbances.

he heedlessly carves over the arches of your shoulders, thumbs compressing the sheer few knots, all tempering the strain which weighs upon you.

you affably bat no eyes when jaemin infiltrates your chambers during the off fashioned twilight hours, habitually whilst you fasten your focus onto a particular novel, his lips stained a peculiar red, the prospect now its own distinct color painting your very canvas.

jaemin is exotically benign considering his.. attributes, as if you are all fragile, a lone share of glass, one where despite the sting, is all volatile at the merest of graces. his fingers weave extensively into yours, digits often tapering off into callous territory, natheless evading their typical docile manner.

there is a clear lack of the imminent monstrosity you expected prior, or perhaps you have simply been driven deranged.

you presume the derangement pervades it all. feasibly, he could consume you one day, once the figurative cattle go to waste, you remain. he commences at a hushed beginning, allowing you to gaze on at his teeth as he carved out the thoracic cavity, the core of your thorax decimated to fragments in a singular bite alone. dawning at your lungs, then mangling your thymus, esophagus, trachea, you muse he would save your vascular organ as an apparent finish, savoring each singular sinking of teeth.

jaemin is an indicatively amorous, pure white smiles planting kisses upon your skin.

“you are all.. hysterical”.

“not quite”.

his fingernails require some trimming, it is a stark reminder to you what he truly entails, uncannily splintered claws abrading over your nightly cooling dermis. “i reiterated i would never”.

“what if i’m the only one left for you to?”

his thumb snares at the corner of your lips, his caress so placid you about pitch into a slumber. his grin is narcotic, every single tooth, including those which occupy much brimmed space is displayed.

“is that where intimacy lies for you?”

“is it truly that intimate?”

you reckon the answer is about crystalline.

it may appear intimate to him, desire as imminent as the ichor which would smear over his hands at the grasp of your beating heart. “intimacy varies..”

“a sincere romantic you are”.

the flat of his palm feels your heart once more, he may devour it one by one, chewing immersive.

you infer perishing is inevitable, but if you do, you crave for his hands to be those to ruin you.

[127luvr]

My Love Mine All Mine

a ‘na jaemin x male reader’ smau!

na jaemin and y/n l/n have known each other for years. inseparable since they met—graduating school together—landing their first job together—quitting together. hell, they even had their first kiss with one another. but it’s never been like that—their relationship doesn’t go beyond platonic soulmate-ism. romantic feelings never seem to cross their minds even after years of their friends (and friends of friends) continuously asking whether or not they were dating. it isn’t until jaemin’s love life suddenly starts to pick up where y/n feels conflicted on his feelings.

- ͟͟͞☆ intro!

profiles ! ? #

TY ent information

LUNA cafe information

- ͟͟͞☆ start!

001 bug like an angel

002 buffalo replaced

003 heaven

004 i don’t like my mind

005 the deal

006 when memories snow

007 the frost

008 star

009 i’m your man

010 i love me after you

011 valentine, texas

012 working for the knife

013 stay soft

014 everyone

015 heat lightning

016 the only heartbreaker

017 love me more

018 there’s nothing left for you

019 should’ve been me

020 i guess

021 that’s our lamp

022 geyser

023 why didn't you stop me

024 old friend

025 a pearl

026 lonesome love

027 remember my name

028 me and my husband

029 come into the water

030 nobody

031 pink in the night

032 a horse named cold air

033 washing machine heart

034 blue light

035 two slow dancers

036 happy

037 dan the dancer

038 once more to see you

039 fireworks

040 your best american girl

041 i bet on losing dogs

042 my body's made of crushed little stars

043 thursday girl

044 a loving feeling

045 crack baby

046 a burning hill

047 texas reznikoff

048 townie

049 first love / late spring

050 francis forever

051 i don't smoke

052 jobless monday

053 drunk walk home

054 i will

055 carry me out

—DISCLAIMERS although this includes real people, this work is pure fiction. the portrayal and characterization of the members are solely based on how i perceive their personalities based on content.

this work is not written in first person, it’ll be mostly focused on the reader’s perspective unless stated otherwise.

while this is a socmed au, there will be written parts included in the story.

—REMINDER to ignore all time stamps and any spelling mistakes that made their way into the final cut.

[from-izzy]

yesterday's petal | nct na jaemin

“I see.” A petal of yesterday falls. “I’ll take care of them now.”

pairing » nct na jaemin x gn!reader (lmk if i missed anything!)​

trope/au » ​non-idol au!, established relationship au!

genre » angst! just full angst!, grief and longing, reader remembering all the good times spent with jaemin, hurt and hope to move on, boyfriend na jaemin who took care of you so well, and you who loved him as much as he loves you

word count, estimated reading time » 1628, ~6 mins

warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » major character death, grief and loss, sorry not proofread 😭

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 part of 'especially to you...'

didn't think that my first nct story on this app would be this but...i needed this badly...

i am also getting back into nct! i might be able to go to dream's concert this year and i'm so excited! feel free to send me some nct content and help me catch up hehe

but other than that...

in a world where everyone seems to fit in so well and so easily...i hope that someday things will be better for me 🫂

With the amount of times you hit the door frame against the overhanging bell of the shop, it’s no surprise that the older woman recognises you.

Usually, she greets her customers brightly, especially those who look nervous and overwhelmed by her overflowing love and care towards the flowers that she prides herself on. At first, it was like that for you too, but the brightness of it all only lasted a few milliseconds at most.

She’s not new to her job; no, she’s not. She’s been doing this for years, having been brought up to it by her mother who has heavily influenced her to decorate all kinds of events with the delicate being, bringing in colours from one corner of the room to the other. But she knew the second you walked in her door without having to take your hat, scarf or sunglasses off, that you’re different from any of the other customers.

She can sense it from far away: a heart that has stopped beating. Amidst the chaotic, busy world, where most of the time a pin cannot be heard even in the library, she can feel the dejected feeling that your heart clenches painfully and that it never begs to differ. She wonders if you’ve always been like this or if you change under a different circumstance. Did her shop remind you of something unpleasant? Was it making you remember a painful memory that you never want to revisit ever again? 

But you always kept coming back. If not every day, every second day. And this, without fail.

She wishes she had the courage to ask why the corners of your lips have never raised, why your hands are always limped by your side, swaying tirelessly beside your even tired heart. She wishes she could ask why your eyes are always so puffy and sometimes bloodshot when you bow to her as a greeting whenever you exit. And, she would always wonder the reason behind why you would pick up the same flowers every time. Again, with the number of times you visit, she wonders if you’re giving them away or if you just like to fill your room, and perhaps at this point house, just like her.

She never asks because of the way you held the stem of her flowers between your hands. It’s an interesting way to handle her art: you rest the bottom of the stem on your palm with your fingers curving up to make a little bowl while the fingers of your other hand are curled towards the centre of your palm, the little circle however always big enough that when you step over to the counter, the green stalk bounces around the circumference of the circle as you take your step towards her.

Just like every other day, you tapped your card on the machine and left after mouthing a ‘thank you’ when the affirmatory tick was displayed on the screen, a pair of curious eyes behind your slumped shoulders.

Your feet take you to the place that you go to every day, the navigation of getting there already deeply ingrained in you to even try and suppress. With each step, comes the setting of the city that you used to walk with your beloved boyfriend. So many memories are spent in every turn of the city, with every store being visited once whether it be a cafe or a baby clothing store. There was usually no purpose to your visits but the hand that held yours tightly made you remember that sometimes roaming around with no purpose brings the best moments in life. 

The scent of the ramen shop across the street makes you hold your breath for a second, not wanting to trigger the accompanying cilantro scent that your nose remembers. The whirring of the coffee machine that you just passed only makes the inside of your mouth dry, remembering the unhealthy shots of caffeine that your boyfriend would drink without a thought in mind. The uneven paths of the ground play with your balance but this time, Na Jaemin isn’t here to hold on to you or even playfully joke around with you to say that he will ‘never let you fall the same way you already fell for him now’.

God, you just want to experience them again.

The way your friends found their significant others while you mull over the fact that Jaemin has left and will never come back. Not in this life, at least. So many times you would pray that you’ll find someone else but even when another person has shown interest in you and you accepted their offer to take you out on a date, you find yourself only thinking of Jaemin endlessly. 

At first, you thought he cursed you. Just like how he would say he would if you ever woke him up from his after-school nap even though it was supposed to be a movie date at the cinemas. 

But now you know that you’re just not ready for the change that took away the only person who loves you and that you love back an infinite times more. You’re not ready to have another person holding you, kissing you and whispering sweet nothings to you no matter your mood. 

You just want Na Jaemin back.

“Hey…” You arrive at your destination, the glossy stone reflecting the sullen look on your face, hair messy both from the win and simply not caring about readjusting it back; that was supposed to be Jaemin’s thing after all. “How are you doing today?”

Your choice of clothing today is questionable: white shorts when you know that you will be sitting down on the ungrassed Earth. Nevertheless, it didn’t stop you because all you wanted after a tiring day of high school and trailing behind your friends who had their arms joined with the love of their life, is to just talk to Jaemin in a more eye-levelled state. 

The conversations are endless and you make sure not to leave the slightest bit of detail from the day. You try your hardest to be positive, knowing well that Jaemin will always like you that way but one of the reasons why you love him is because if you did cry, he would still love and care for you without judgement or doubt. And the realisation that you’ll never see those eyes that you have fallen in love and would get lost in sinks in again.

You sob. Cry. Weep. Bawl. 

You could scream. Yell. Shout.

And it’s killing you inside all the same.

“I’m so tired of being so lonely when there’s so many people around me, Nana.” Your chin rests on your folded knees to your chest, arms around your legs but hands still holding the flower the same as before. “I’m so tired of being jealous of my friends that they’re still making happy memories with their other person.” The tears stream down your face even more, gulping down your sorrows and pain.

You relish how the coldness of the wind numbed your cheek; at least you’re feeling something.

“I do believe that the time when everything will be better will come and I do believe that the more I understand my feelings, it will get better eventually,” you sniff and gasp out of air, “but I still wish that I didn’t have to rely on time. I wish that I didn’t have to delve in deep and go through all of this.”

His name engraved on the stone only made it harder for you to see anything, your tears blurring your surroundings and the wind only making you cry harder. You take in a shaky breath and though it was not satisfactory, you’re still thankful that it gave you a little more energy to get lost in the feeling of grief.

“I love you.” You repeat a few more times. “And I hope that someday, whenever I hear your name, only the good memories and things you taught me will replay in my head.”

Your fingers reach over to the curves and lines of his name and you smile remembering how his mother included you in the font and general typography, knowing how much the relationship that you both shared has always been a healthy one for both ends. You continue to run over the engraving more, moving your hand back and forth. You continue to blurt out your last few moments of the day along with your plans for the next twenty-four hours before you would rant to him again.

But like you said, time will eventually come and make it all better and currently, the heaviness in your chest is more bearable now. You jump up to your more stable feet, eyes on the flowers that cover the front side of the base. Slowly, you laid the new one between the ones from before. You stare at how it finds its place so easily despite being only introduced a few seconds ago, and you nod at how it may not be you anytime soon.

As you spare a final glance at the fresh flower on top of the one that you just gifted him yesterday, you note the peace that it’s finally been given, still and no longer twirling and swirling in the circle that you have made for it.

When you walk away, the flower looks at how you drag your feet across the soil, and the yesterday flower whispers, “They're still the same as yesterday.” A message that has continued and passed on from the very first one that you laid in hopes of Jaemin knowing that he’s never forgotten.

“I see.” A petal of yesterday falls. “I’ll take care of them now.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 'especially to you...'

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here or removed!): @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿 @sanaxo-o

[ninistime]

💭 . . . " ENEMIES ON STAGE, LOVERS BACKSTAGE" . . ☄️. REQ

☄️ pairing ; bttm ! na jaemin x top ! male reader

☄️ genre ; angst , smut

☄️ cw ; male/male intercourse , arguing , kissing , anal , cursing , hate fucking (?)

☄️ a/n ; ive never wrote an enemies to lovers fic so i moved into the lover part out of nowhere , sorry 😭

(m/n) was the main vocalist of his group (g/n) , he was praised on social media and in real life by multiple interviewees , idols , western singers , and netizens alike for his talent and visuals.

it was a wednesday afternoon and (g/n) was invited to an award show as they were nominated for an award for their latest comeback , and not so surprisingly , the group they competed against in popularity was there , and one of the members (m/n) wasn't so fond of was glaring in his groups direction , na jaemin of nct dream.

ever since (g/n) and nct dream's debut they were constantly pitted against each other , battling for the spotlight and the attention of old and new fans. the industry couldn't get enough of their fierce gazes and sassy remarks on stage.

but beneath all that competition , there may be something deeper brewing. every time they share the stage , there was an energy that couldn't be denied. It was like they were destined to be enemies. they couldn't help but be drawn to each other , even if they wouldn't admit it.

as the award show mc's were busy entertaining the camera , jaemin threw shade at (m/n) with his eyes , looking him up and down and rolling his eyes , (m/n) just looked away , not wanting to see the other ways jaemin could be childish. jaemin gossiped with jeno , leaning back to whisper in his ear and chuckle in (m/n)'s direction.

(m/n) just smacked his lips and fixed his facial expression to a fake smile when the cameras turned to them . the mc's began to call out the winners of the best comeback award. both nct dream and (g/n) held their breaths and (m/n) tapped his foot against the expensive stage tile.

"for the best comeback award, this year's award goes to.." jaemin and (m/n) gulped at the same time , jaemin stealing a glance at (m/n) before closing his eyes again. "(G/N)! CONGRATULATIONS!" the members of (g/n) let go of their breaths and jumped up and down in excitement , taking the award and going up to the mic to say their thank you speeches.

jaemin looked speechless , before this award show, they won the previous 2 best comeback awards. jaemin thought it wasn't fair and sucked and his teeth , which was caught on camera , but he'll worry about that later.

after the acceptance speech , (g/n) had their encore stage , they had fun jumping around the stage , interacting with the audience , and overall they were just happy to win their first best comeback award.

the encore stage soon ended and (g/n) made their way off stage and into their dressing room where they had cute interactions with staff and took multiple photos to celebrate their deserved win.

(m/n) exited the room after the excitement dispersed and out the back door for some fresh air , a few minutes away from the fog of fame. when they walked around the corner he stopped on his tracks , he saw jaemin , the man who taunted him on stage only to see defeat.

jaemin was looking at his shoes , kicking around a pebble. his long eyelashes looked wet and there was an evident red hue on the baby fat of his eyes , his melancholy look was visible even in the dark night , the moonlight the only thing highlighting him.

(m/n) sighed dramatically , getting jaemin's attention. jaemin just looked at him and then back down at his shoes , obviously embarrassed. (m/n) walked up to him and kicked away the pebble jaemin was playing with , it skipped into a drain and you could hear the plop ! sound it made after the drop.

"jaemin , you always think you're so perfect , huh?" (m/n) said , clearly aggravated , "You act like your group is the only one that matters in this industry." jaemin stayed quiet , looking at him face to face. "you were taking all that shit and doing all that childish crap on stage , but when i approach you you're quiet? that's funny , na jaemin."

the tension in the air was palpable as they glared at each other , their chests rising and falling with each breath. jaemin was biting the skin off his lips , and he looked as if he was about to cry , his mean and tough-ass persona would laugh at him if he saw him.

suddenly , jaemin began to speak up , "I'm sorry." he said , he looked guilty and more embarrassed than he was a minute ago. (m/n) stopped to think for a second , if fussing and cursing at jaemin was really worth it. jaemin never cursed at him , or made him feel shitty , just aggravated.

now it was (m/n)'s turn to feel guilty , and guilty he was. they stood in silence for a good moment , and that silence turned into tension , and that tension turned into a makeout session. they took each other by the collars and smashed their lips together , their tongues moving against each other in a heated dance. (m/n) pushed jaemin against the wall , putting his hands on jaemin's face and eventually moving down to jaemin's clothed cock. as (m/n) rubbed it , jaemin whimpered , grinding into his enemies hand.

his hands found (m/n)'s waist , pulling him in , their bodies pressed together , grinding together. (m/n) moved his hands behind jaemin and squeezed his ass , feeling him up as he moaned.

they both soon slid their pants down to their ankles and jaemin was facing the wall , sticking his ass up and out for (m/n). (m/n) was stroking his dick , preparing it for jaemin's hole while jaemin fingered himself. (m/n) let a fat glob of spit fall onto his cock as he rubbed it up and down. "fuck jaemin.." he said , slapping jaemin's round ass. jaemin's head lowered to hide his red face , "just fuck me already.." he said , pulling his fingers out of his pink hole and temptingly spreading it open for (m/n) to see.

(m/n) took jaemin's hips and lined his dick up with his hole , slowly sliding his tip in. jaemin whimpered at the painful stretch but he enjoyed how it hurt , how (m/n)'s big cock was stretching his tight hole open. (m/n) waited for jaemin to adjust to the stretch before thrusting into him , his balls hitting jaemin's ass. jaemin moaned , his hand going down to his dick to stroke it.

all of a sudden , (m/n) had a good idea , he pulled out of jaemin and picked him up by his ass , "ah, why..?" jaemin asked , he was fucked out. they were in a standing position and (m/n) directed his dick into jaemin's hole , pounding into his ass. jaemin moaned uncontrollably , he dug his head into the crook of (m/n)'s neck , a few tears wetting his shirt.

"fuck , im sorry.. (m/n).. fuck!" jaemin said as (m/n) rearranged his guts with his cock. "im cumming!' he said , soon letting white ribbons of cum paint his and (m/n)'s abdomens.

(m/n) followed soon after , letting his release fill up jaemin's hole. he sat against the wall with his dick still in jaemin.

they have a lot to talk about after jaemin's leaves his his fucked out mindset , but first , they should hurry up and get out of there before someone spots them.

a/n ; not really an enemies to LOVERS cause all they was have sex , but this is the best i can do

[vkooksupremacy]

Secrets Out

Lee Jeno x Secret boyfriend Male Reader

"Jeno, do you have the papers?" Y/N asked. "Our manager wants them for a performance audition."

"What do you mean, performance audition?"

"Oh, you know, getting a performance for Dream." Y/N said. He was a staff for NCT, the Dream manager's right hand man. Coincidentally, Jeno's best friend. "Kyun Hyung said you guys have it."

"Oh, yeah hold on a sec, I'll be right back." Jeno left and returned with a folder, passing it to Y/N. "Here."

"Thanks. I'll see you later, Nojam."

"Still pining after him?" Renjun snickered, from his place on the sofa. "Come on, everyone, meaning Dream and the staff knows you like him."

"He likes who?" Yuta asked interestedly.

"His best friend Y/N." Chenle let out a high pitched laugh, making Jeno sigh.

"Can we drop it already?" He asked.

"No."

____________________

"What if they find us?" Y/N hissed, as Jeno dragged him down the corridor. "Everyone's going to find out!"

"So what if they do?" Jeno asked nochalantly.

"I thought you wanted to keep it a secret?" Y/N asked. "I mean, I'm all for telling your members but..."

"It's still a secret if it's only them."

"Jeno?" They turned around to see a wide eyed Jisung.

"Oh-" Y/N's mouth fell open.

"I knew it!" Jisung cheered. "Taeyong hyung kwes me 1000 won!"

"They bet on us?" Jeno whispered.

"Seems like it."

____________________

"Oh my god I never should've told them." Jisung groaned. "Now you two are always cuddling."

"Jisung, I'll hug you." Jaemin playfully volunteered, but Jisung shied away, disgusted.

"Ew, no thank you."

"My baby doesn't love me." Jaemin cried dramatically. "Oh, how the world is ending."

"Get your act over with, Na Jaemin." Renjun said. "We all know your one true love is coffee, not Jisung, even if you're dating him. You'll drop him for coffee at any given moment."

"Hey!"