Whether it’s PR or not I need to tattoo these two articles popping out on twitter on my heart.
Never came across so many people, even journalists, youtuber, bystander, people just passing by or whatever, sounding so smitten for a duo of actors. There must be something in the water… all of this looks like coming straight out from a FF I swear. Ok it’s PR, let’s go with that. All the same, bring me a needle…
“But throughout the past three seasons, it’s been a slow-burn anticipation for Newton and Coughlan, who have genuinely become real-life best friends in that span of time. Parallel to that, their on-screen characters have given us such a perfect crescendo of what it’s like to fall in love over decades that I’m not entirely convinced that the real-life people sitting in front of me are not actually in love”
“Coughlan and Newton, who constantly finish each other’s sentences throughout our interview…”
“Nicola Coughlan and Luke Newton can’t stop looking at each other. I mean, they really can’t. As I enter their suite in the Four Seasons Hotel Toronto to interview the Bridgerton stars, all I can hear is laughter.”
I can literally hear Luke’s laugh from here.
“You must be exhausted!” I tell them as I sit down. Another look. “We’re OK,” Coughlan smiles. Newton nods, echoing “Yea, we’re OK.” They’ve just arrived from Brazil”
Ok I am done. Give me a paperbag.
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im reading an article about masahisa fukase, who took pictures of his wife every day she left the house. (the book is called "from window"), because i saw *this tweet and started reading replies which led to me reading the article where it explains she divorced him and how he went into a coma for 20 years, where she visited him twice every month.
and let me quote this part to you
He died in 2012, having been in a coma for 20 years following a near-fatal fall down the stairs of his favorite bar in 1992.
Yoko visited him twice a month throughout his long limbo - though, heartbreaking, he would have been unaware of her presence. "He remains part of my identity," she said, adding: "With a camera in front of his eye, he could see; not without."
it also says that he wished to control yoko, and also the world, by taking pictures. hoping to freeze time. and.. imagine this, specifically this quote and fukase's wish, with baxter.
baxter who is so helplessly in love with you. he loves you so much, that he takes every chance to capture your beauty.
he loves every picture of you.
but he's so obsessed with time. with mortality. with you.
he's missed out on so much during his younger years. pulling away from everyone who did love him, pulling away from those who reached out their hand to him.
mostly kept away from genuine, friendly people. they always knew how to pull him in, he was a sucker for kindness and genuineness. like you and your friends, or like qiu, tama, and ren.
tried to please his parents at times, mostly tried to rebel and irritate them. and succeeded, even when he wasn't trying.
so many years wasted.. hiding and running from life's simple pleasures. from friendship and companionship
that's why he keeps taking pictures of you, keeps trying to capture the world in a still state. because maybe. if it freezes for long enough. he can catch up...
but also, if you're always willing to be his muse. always a subject of his work.. then he still has control of himself. his life.
you're a constant. something that always happens without fail.
without fail, before you go to your destination, you're at the bottom of your window, posing for him. making a face. shouting at him.
even if you're upset at him.. you wait under the window while he takes that picture, a frown deep on your lips.
it's not much, but he still has something always in the palm of his hand. and that's you waiting at the bottom of the window.
but he loves you. God he loves you so much. some days you don't take pictures from through the window, he's too sick to get out of bed or he's gone ahead of you.
some days you're upset with him, or running late, and the only picture he takes is your frame running for the bus, the edges of your silhouette fuzzy and blurred.
but he still has pictures of you on your date the next night, and he has pictures of your bare form the night before yesterday.
but he's so busy looking through the camera... changing the setting, wiping his lense, and sorting his photos. that he doesn't notice when summer turns to winter. or winter into next spring. doesn't notice the new lines on your forehead or how your fingers sometimes shake when trying to open a jar
doesn't notice the gray in his hair. not the.. deep gray of his natural hair. but the light gray strikes that turn to ribbons of gray and white.
doesn't notice how dull his wedding ring is from years of wear and lack of polishing. doesn't notice how his favorite dress shoes have scratches and scuffs along the side and tip of the shoe
doesn't notice that his dinner is cold. doesn't notice that you don't hug him back when you go to sleep. doesn't notice your lipstick doesn't stain his cheek when he sleeps, or that your hoodie is too heavy and big on his shoulders.
only notices when the sunlight from the window hits your face perfectly, and he sees the age.
only when you don't smile or tease or shout at him from below the window like before.
only when you ate before him, telling him you couldn't wait for him to take pictures. when you stop talking to him so cheerily. when you stop looking at him with admiration and love, with awe whenever he holds the camera so expertly and insists on having you as his muse
he compares the photos from your youth and he sees happiness, he sees love, and life and he sees his whole world.
now, in some photos, he sees tiredness and aching, defiance. irritation. boredom, even...
your back is to the camera more than before. when you are facing it, your chin is tilted towars your book, or your eyes are closed, sleeping in your fluffy king bed. the light doesn't bounce off your ring like it used to.
the ones of you smiling, laughing at him from the other side, makes his heart thump and clench. he's racing.
but in others you look tired of the camera. your lips aren't frowned, but they aren't smiling either. and your eyes are heavy, not with lust or mischief or drowsiness. it's exhaustion, but it's the mental kind. it's the kind where you're at the end of your rope with this camera forever at the other end of your table
you don't see your husband
you see a camera. the damn camera that haunts you nightly and daily.
of course, there are ones where you smile. you're not entirely miserable.
but instead of seeing his beloved muse, his darling spouse. his hearts treasure.
he sees his treasure on display. in their pretty glass case in the middle of the showroom. he sees a ballerina trapped in her music box, forever spinning to the same tune.
he sees Mona Lisa looking at him through her frame, smiling and revered.
he tries to pull you from that painting. putting on his scuffed dress shoes and that same brown suit from your first date, he sets himself on the other end of you. not the camera.
he can't help but think of how the low lighting of the restaurant would suck to take pictures in right now. that he needs his setup, and he wonders if they'd be willing to let him bring all that to capture the moment here...
but you're twinkling. like you're afraid to sparkle but too enthused not to.
he swallows around the urge to capture time claws at his throat. it's beating down the door to his chest and he's trying to keep it from his aching heart.
he does try.
but when you run ahead to see the ducks on the lake, floating on top of the pearly lake, he can't help that his phone camera finds your form
it's not nearly as good as a real camera. it's pixelated and fuzzy. he has to step closer to get more details
but it's worth it, the way your face is bright and the way the wind blows is unusually perfect, shards of light slip through the cracks of thick leaves overhead
and when you turn your head, wanting him to see the family of ducks on the water, you don't mind the phone in his hand.
if you step into the frame for a moment, return to the stage of your music box, it's okay. because today was beautiful. it was so beautiful.
you sat in bed with him, the only thing between you two, the thin bedsheets and the breakfast tray. and the sand is still between your toes, and your feet are terribly dry from dipping into the sea.
baxter retracing the steps of your second meeting, plus a few extra stops to new establishments youve been waiting to enter, new mueseums and front row to your favorite theater show.
and his hand solid in yours, his eyes stuck on you like glue... so it's okay to let him pet your cheek and kiss you in the middle of this park.
because your heart is beating again with excitement, and you're thrilled with how much you had fun today.
and the next time, when he plans a sudden getaway trip for you two.
it's okay if he points the camera at you. because when you're bored, or teasing, or angry at him. you snatch it from his hands and now you're staring back at pictures of his porcelain face. with the filter on, you notice a new beauty mark under his eye easily, but you never needed it to know. but he did.
and you tuck the only picture he let you keep of his irritated face into your nightstand once you're home, you stick it under the one of him shielding his eyes from the sun and when you open thay drawer, the only thing you see is the top of his head and the birds in the sky.
there's thrills. there's always been moments of thrills. that's why youre in the frame, that's why you're his muse.
but when the day is dull. and most days are dull. some days, a couple more than you'll admit, you are tired of the camera.
some days, you want to smash that camera. smash the camera and bang your fists against his chest, slap his cheeks until he sees without the lenses.
but then he grabs the camera, and he parts your knee for you. tucks that hair behind your ear. folds the cuff of your jeans the way he wants. clasps his jewelry on your neck or wrist
and then you pick up the frame, and immortalize the moment, because even though your heart aches. and aches greatly. you love how he looks at you. how he captures your every move as if you haven't done it a hundred times before...
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