#n little like. ideas to my own detriment that just make me wish things would like. bippity boppity boo themselves perfect or at least okay

[strawbebyjam]

back 2 missing it 👍🏼

[danoscigarette]

Eli Sunday x f!Reader

Chapter I - My Body is a Cage

Summary: A young girl and her religious family move to Little Boston - the only problem is the reader is faithless. With no other choice, her family turns to the likes of a young pastor to rekindle the lord’s flame and penetrate her with the Holy Spirit.

Warnings: misogyny, nothing too heavy right now, religious trauma, eventual smut so 18+

A/N: Just a warning,,,,I haven’t even watched There Will Be Blood yet but I’ve found myself on Eli Sunday TikTok and I had to write this up 🥵 I did look up the plot though, so I spoiled the movie for a bit of smut - Its just who I am. - Also sorry if there are any inaccuracies in this, just overlook them 😌

I have a lot of religious trauma and this may be projected through this fan fiction. I will also update any tags if necessary!

Also I am still writing my Riddler x Reader, this little fic is what I have written between chapters so if you are having some Paul Dano brain rot - check out my longer fic: Riddle Me Witch

AFAB reader using she/her pronouns

Christ, the Lord Saviour was sent to Earth by his Heavenly Father to die for humanity's sins. This is the word that was drummed into you since you left the womb, the word that continues to ring in your ear at church and the word that you will be buried to. Religion to you was a dictation and an oppressor, especially to a young woman like you in a time such as this. 1911, a mere decade past the turn of the century and women were still held tight by religion's iron grip; this continuous mistreatment erupted into a storm within you.

The youngest of 3, your family were simple church going folk; the almost idyllic image of a good Christian household. You however, were the exception. Called a spoiled brat by most, hysterical by others, you internally spat at the floor whenever you heard the word of the 'Lord'. Your disdain for the Christian religion eventually lead you to lose your faith completely. You'd ask questions, something which was a 'no-no' in your household, making blasphemous remarks and even mocked the Bible. Your poor family tried their best to tame you, to teach you, to brain wash you to no avail.

It came as a detriment to them, you were always chaperoned in case you misspoke in public, not that you were stupid enough to do that considering it was a punishable offence. Other than church, your parents had kept you away from formal functions and parties - especially events that included alcohol. If you weren’t already bold, the alcohol certainly brought out your passionate anti-religious speeches.

Another issue your parents had was being unable to marry you off to some good man. All you encounter were either stupid, cowardly or had zero tolerance to your headstrong personality. Things became worse when your father died; he at least used to keep you in check. You'd allow no man to dominate you, no man would dare. Even at both of your sisters wedding, the gentlemen who'd approach you would soon turn on their heel and run head fast away from you - and you liked it this way. You could be independent forever, the master of your own life.

That was until your mother remarried. You kept out of your family's business for the most part so your mother finding love again was the least of your worries; that was the case before discovering your step-father, Joe and his plans. He wishes to move you and your family to a place called Little Boston, California. Apparently, being a young girl in her 20s and unmarried was quite the unfortunate state of events - your family's reputation was at stake. If you had chased away all of the men in your town then god see to it that he will find you a husband in another.

The idea sprung to mind when your step-father was offered a job out there which promised oil. Your mother and him thought it be a great idea to place you in a different, more enclosed environment - to break your spirit down, make you vulnerable and willing to accept Jesus and be a meek woman like a good baptised lady should. Needless to say, you weren't thrilled by the idea. And by that, you threw a fit of rage. You might have been the dark sheep of the family, but in your home town you had the community, you had friends and even a chance at a future for yourself.

You understood completely why they wanted to take you, fuck the oil job, they were punishing you into submission. Your family dragged you kicking and screaming to Little Boston, no amount of comforting words sated your fury. But here you are, sat in your new house, in your new bedroom, sulking into a chair and staring out the window. It was an almost barren land, the sky stretched on for miles and the noise was quiet, too quiet; you enjoyed peace but this, this was eery.

Your eyes hung heavy, bags from lack of sleep and dried tears, you looked a wreck. The population in this god forsaken town was stupidly small and the combined IQ even smaller; no doubt full of religious and uneducated nut jobs considering a school has not yet been built. Your punishment.

The pressure built in your bones, rage rampant in your chest and head full of thoughts that could shame your family for generations. You could feel your whole body shake, how dare they do this to you, cornering you like an animal.

It had been 3 days since you moved in and you hadn't spoken a word to anyone, staying in your room you refused to engage with your oppressors. That was until you saw a group of people approach your house, you look down and notice a young girl and three men; two who were quite obviously identical twins. Staying out of sight, you listen to your step-fathers interaction with them - it was them welcoming your family to the community and that you should pay the "Sunday's" a visit for dinner.

As they walked away, you stayed staring out at the window, catching another glimpse of the party; in doing so, one of the twins had turned back and noticed you. For a split second you considered hiding but instead, you held eye contact with him - an interesting looking fellow dressed all in black and wearing a cross around his neck; another religious nut. Even so, you couldn't help but stare, even when he turned around and carried on walking, you watched him disappear with his family.

"Y/N..." you hear a knock at the door, turning to it, you accept their entrance to see your mother. Despite feeling immense anger, your mother held an air of comfort, especially when you are feeling emotional. It's almost as if the more you feel, the less strong-willed you felt. "How are you doing darlin'?" She comes to sit on the bed close enough to place a hand on your lap. You hesitatingly take it in yours, playing with her fingers lightly.

"Well, I have made my thoughts quite clear" you begin, raising an eyebrow. "But I am surprised at how lovely the weather is" it was the only thing you could really say that was positive. As much as you wanted to keep your wilful persona, you mother occasionally brought out the softer side of you; she had been through a lot as it is and you knew how much of a nuisance you could be towards her.

"Isn't it just lovely?" Your mother had a sweet Texan accent, it was gentle and dainty, much like her as a person. "I would say that would be mighty fine to explore this place, wouldn't you?"

You don't respond at first, calming yourself before answering. Your mother was really trying with you and you wouldn't forgive yourself for shouting at her so soon upon arrival. "Perhaps we can walk about the town once we are all settled"

"Oh Y/N!" Your mother threw her arms around you with a squee, you welcomed her with cautious affection; you really didn't want to explore (not that there was much to explore anyway) but you wanted to meet her part way at least. "Okay but first, we had a little visit from our neighbours, they wish to host a dinner for us as a little welcome! Now waddaya say?"

'No' was the thought that came to mind, you give her an unsure expression. "They could be crooks mama" you doubt it, but anything to put your mother off you'll say.

"Oh don't be silly Y/N, the Sundays are a reputable family they mean no 'arm. The two sons are also unaccounted for" she gives you a cheeky wink, you pull a grimace in return.

"Don't even think about it Ma"

Oh but she did, and she does. Your mother gives you her best puppy dog eyes and holds your hand close to her chest.

"Fine" you exhale out, your mother reaches in for another aggressive hug. You feel slightly defeated, but getting to know the community may help you gage what kind of company you'll be sharing in the future.

"This will be a delightful occasion, but my my Y/N you look like you could do with a week's rest!"

"Will you let me rest for that long?"

"And miss church? I don't think so"

And that was that, you had agreed to a dinner party. You could kick yourself with how quickly you allowed yourself to be convinced to engage in any of your family's shenanigans. But there you were, a Saturday night in June, putting on your forget-me-not blue dress to meet the Sunday family. You hadn't intended on looking particularly nice for this mystery family, however, there was a side of you that wanted to look so good that you'd be intimidating; but then again, you didn't want to look like a common whore either.

"Oh Miss Y/N you look like the prettiest peach in spring" you hear a soft feminine voice chirp. Turning towards the door, you see Vi and Elizabeth, your sisters, poking their head through the frame; grins plastered on their faces.

"Get out of here" you joke, waving your hands to shoo them away.

"Ah come on sis, we're all waiting on ya!" Liz pulls at your arm

"And you will wait even longer" You try to slap Liz's hand away to no avail. Violet and Elizabeth are already married women, Violet being the eldest already had a child on the way. Their husbands Mark and Jason were also (conveniently) offered the job to work with your step-father and decided to move to Little Boston as well.

"Come here, we got a surprise for you" Violet spins you in front of your mirror. "Now please, don't take it off I know what you're like" she wraps a gold chain around your neck, hanging from it was a delicate cross. Your eyes widened.

"Vi! I can't accept this...I don't-"

"Hush now, we are eating with the first family to greet us. We at least have to make a good impression"

You give in, once again; perhaps the new environment had softened you (though you blamed your sleep deprivation) and accepted it. You couldn't lie though, it was a very pretty necklace, whether it was a religious symbol or not.

Walking down the stairs, you could see your mother marvel up at you, she looked like she was on the verge of tears. 'It's not exactly my wedding day' you grumble to yourself. Jason and your step-father Joe had far too much work on their hands to attend any fancy meal, so you it was just you, your sisters, Mark and your mother to attend.

Arriving at the Sunday's house, you are greeted by a young man with a friendly face; this was Paul Sunday. Upon entry he shook all of your hands and you all each gave him a polite smile; except for you - you smiled but it was more civil than it was warm.

"So this is us" Paul spread his arms out to show off his family. "This is my little sister, Mary, my father Abel, my mother Ruth and" finally he waves his hand in his brothers direction. "This is my brother, Eli"

You hold your breath as you look at him, up close he was far more…intense than he was through your window. It astonished you to his likeness of his twin brother except, he was different somehow. More refined perhaps.

'Eli' you repeat in your mind, you notice the same obnoxious cross he wore around his neck. You dismiss all curiosity and enforce those walls again; you may be here for food, but you weren't about to make friends.

"Well hello everyone! This is my family! We have my 3 beautiful daughters, Violet, Elizabeth (and her husband Mark) and Y/N" Your mother reaches out her hand in your direction, you give a little wave with an awkward smile that clearly shows you didn’t want to be there.

Your eyes return to Eli, he is full on staring at you which kind of creeped you out a little. You give him another polite smile before your family take their seats around a table. There were many a pleasant conversation shared amongst the families, you remained silent throughout except for whenever there was a question directed at you. Apparently, Eli was the pastor at the local church, you force yourself not to say anything at this, you just sat there and listened to the drivel about how religion is important blah blah blah.

Neither you or Eli had spoken directly, occasionally exchanging in a few glances here and there. You could feel your palms sweating just thinking about looking at him for longer than a few seconds; for some reason this pipsqueak had made you feel on edge and you couldn't pinpoint why. The dinner continued on, you didn't like to admit it, but the food was actually delicious and far exceeded that of your family's rations for the last few days.

"So tell me Y/N, what's a sweet thang like you doin' unmarried?" Abel asks, you almost chocked on your food. Your mother turns towards you sympathetically and then back to the rest of the party.

"My littl'un has had some trouble over the years..."

"Trouble how?" Paul pushes, the air is thick at this point. You could almost read the room's mind, you look to either Paul or Eli, both of them were also unmarried. You definitely didn't like where this was potentially going.

Before your mother could speak you sit up straight in your seat and pick up your glass of wine. "No man could tame the horse as one could say" you let out a short laugh, the first laugh since you arrived at this cursed place.

"What- what she means to say is that she hasn't found anyone on her level" you mother tried explaining, she at least didn't put you down. "Most of the men where we come from ain't too kind to her fiery nature y'see"

“Nothing wrong with a free spirit” Ruth answered plainly, giving you a sympathetic smile

“There isn’t…but its not a…desirable quality when it comes to finding a suitor” Your mother rubs the back of her neck

“Mama” you disgruntled under your breath, placing a warning hand on her leg. There were a few moments of silence before Abel coughs into his fist.

“I see, I’m sure a bit of Little Boston’s fresh air will do you some good”

“Here here” you mother chimes in, raising a glass before taking a sip of wine. You lean back in your chair in a sulk, the heat of humiliation rising to your face.

"I see you are a lady of faith" Eli finally spoke to you, gesturing to your cross. You blink at him for a moment before realising your necklace.

"I-"

"She is a little hesitant towards religion but she is of the faith, yes" your mother spoke for you once more, panic painfully obvious in her voice.

"Then perhaps she should visit one of my sermons, I do them every Sunday"

“I’ll vouch for my son, he is really very good. I was the pastor for a while before Eli here took over” Abel added

“That sounds like an excellent idea, reinstall those good Christian values we were brought up on” Liz strokes your arm encouragingly, you really wanted to die in that moment.

You purse your lips, really biting your tongue at this point. How you wanted to rant and rave about how ridiculous it all is, but you subsided your anger however, got to keep up with appearances and all that.

"We shall see" were your only words, and they remained your only words for the rest of the evening. Eli personally saw to it a challenge, being a man of God and having so many rely on him sky rocketed his ego; if he could persuade you in any form, he would see it as his greatest achievement.

The rest of the evening was fine, an awkwardness hung in the air but it was manageable. All you wanted to do was escape this place, going somewhere on your own and live as a hermit for the rest of your life. Little Boston was nothing like your home town, the weather may be nice but you honestly couldn't say anything good about it.

[alycosworld]

guess who🤡 heyhey 💕 here. I’m pretty sure by this 2nd request u can tell that I’m a very emotional person🧍🏻‍♀️ and that I’m a person that seeks alot of comfort from fictional characters because i dont have a life and good friends.

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putting a divider here so u dont have to read everything and can look out for keywords!

purple—> person

pink—>genre

green—>subject

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I’m not sure if u r comfy writing kazuha so if yr not I’m sorry u can ignore this! i just want a fluff comfort for reader who got like REALLY scolded for getting bad grades for exams because u have no idea how angsty I’m feeling rn:( my parents just literally like scolded me like there was no tmr istg- so i just need really fluff comfort. so a kazuha x NB(non bibary)!reader

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Anyways again tysm u have no idea how grateful i am if you accept my request!!!<3 get lots of rest and drink water. only do this if you want to!

byebye<3

-💕

Kazuha's Wise and Whimsical Words

Kaedehara Kazuha X Reader

A/N: aaaa 💕anon ily!! being emotional is completely fine and I would be honoured to become of your good friends!! I will be a part of your life, private message me if you're ever feeling down! I just want my readers happy because they make me happy aaaaaa 🥺

with that being said, i love this request! My parents were so hard on me when it came to exams, but as soon as I broke away from their expectations, I started to appreciate my grades more. I'll leave the real comforting words for Kazuha to say but NO ONE SHOULD EVER be disappointed in yourself if you tried your best. Thank you for your support and the request, I hope the story makes you feel better. Enjoy!

ps: I took into account the fact that not everyone has a mother and a father and not everyone has two parents at all, so only one parent is mentioned here and they are left gender neutral so it's easier to picture yourself in the story.

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"(Y/N). This is not at all what I expected. What happened to you?" Your parent asked sternly.

"Well, I--"

"I don't want to hear any excuses. Your predicted grades were much higher than this!" They said, raising their voice.

"I'm sorry, I--"

"Sorry is not going to improve your results! Do you really think that now is a good time to be slacking off? You have one more exam period before university. I don't care if you pass those exams, I want you to excel. And if you don't, you are not attending Sumeru Academia, whether they accept you or not. I am not paying for you to study overseas, only for you to get mediocre grades." They said, making you even more anxious than before the exam.

"But I got above the average!"

"By two percent! And the average was low." Your parent said, narrowing their eyes slightly and upsetting you with their belittling gaze.

"Realistically--"

"Realistically? Realistically?! If you want to study realistically, you should find someone else to pay for your education. When you want to study successfully, you can come back." They slammed the stack of sheets that displayed your results on the table with a loud bang before folding their arms as you grabbed a jacket and stormed out of the house, tears running down your face.

You walked for a while in the night, before eventually finding yourself in an area you were less familiar with. After recognising it to be somewhere near your boyfriend's current residence off Beidou's ship, you made a beeline for his place, knocking on the door and hoping, praying he would be alone inside.

The door soon opened and Kazuha stood there, initially with a smile on his face but it soon dropped when he saw your expression.

"(Y/N)? What happened?" He asked.

"C-can I come inside?" You sniffled.

"Of course, Love. Come in." He said, ushering you into his quaint little place. You stood by the door that closed behind you before Kazuha pushed the coat you had lazily draped over your shoulder onto the floor and enveloped you in his arms.

You broke down in his embrace. You had done better than most of your fellow students, and frankly, you were kind of proud of your result. But it was foolish of you to think that your parent would accept anything but perfection. They said it was all for you, but you were doubting it. Did you even want to go to Sumeru Academia? You had had your heart set on it since you were a child, but maybe that was only because your folks always envisioned you going there.

"Why are you crying, my love?" Kazuha asked, sitting you down near the fire to warm you up and standing up to get you a blanket and a hot cup of tea.

"I'm not good enough." You mumbled. If it was anyone else, they wouldn't have heard you. But your boyfriend could listen to the wind "talk" - he was very attuned to quiet and subtle noises.

"Nonsense." He smiled, bringing you the blanket as you listened to the water boil in the background.

"You're more than good enough. Everyone who knows you adores you - no one more than me, of course." Kazuha chuckled, eventually setting down two cups of tea and sitting in front of you on the floor.

"Public opinion won't improve my grades." You said, now more stoic than upset. You had almost become numb and desensitised to degrading comments that after you cried a little and calmed down, you'd be straight-faced and almost emotionless. It didn't feel good, but it was certainly better than feeling bad.

"So this is about school." Kazuha nodded, gesturing for you to continue explaining why had happened.

"They keep talking about my grades. They said I shouldn't be slacking and that I'm not going to get to Sumeru Academia and that they want me to do better...maybe I'm interpreting it wrong. Maybe they're trying to encourage me?" You wondered aloud, thinking that somehow you were the problem. As soon as you said "they", Kazuha knew who you are referring to and sighed.

"Encouragement and doubt are two very different things. Unrealistic expectations, detrimental practices, emotionally, mentally or physically taxing improvement - none of that is going to help you. In fact, it'll make you feel worse. When you really think about what you have to do to achieve perfection, you'll only realise how unattainable it is. You'll fall into a perpetual spiral of intellectual destruction." Kazuha said.

"Then how the hell am I gonna get the best results?" You asked worriedly.

"You won't. No one will ever get the best results because more people and more previously unforeseen factors will come into play. What you can achieve is your best results. Your grades are a product of you, not the other way around. They are no measure of your worth, they cannot define you, and they do not have to be a part of you. If you don't ace one subject, you don't have to hang on to that or turn it into some strange part of you. You can't cling to it, it's impossible to cling to a piece of the past forever. That's not to say you don't learn from it, but it doesn't need to become some villainous trait - in the end, it is only a grade." Kazuha shield at you. His words warmed your heart more than the fire or tea, and they even seemed to dry your tears and allow you to mirror his expression.

"And at the very least, you can hold your head high knowing that you had the strength to participate in an exam when not everyone does. You went in, sat through it, attempted the questions and walked out. Not everyone has the courage to stay; some don't even have the courage to start. That goes for any endeavour you face." Kazuha said, before inching closer to you.

"Feeling any better?" He asked. You nodded instantly. Of course, Kazuha's wise and whimsical words had bettered your mood, it was Kazuha for Archon's sake.

"Good. Maybe we could go for an evening stroll? I'll treat you to dinner if you haven't eaten." He offered.

"Can...can we just stay like this for a little longer? I think being alone with you is nicer." You smiled.

"Of course, Angel. Anything you want."

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this was less physical fluff than I intended, but I think I do comfort with direct words and dialogue best, so I hope this is okay. honestly, everything kasha said is what I would've wished to hear when I was in this situation. I'll probably post a rant about my own exam experiences because this request got all my past feelings to resurface.

thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

[balillee]

my unpopular dsmp opinions, some of which genuinely should be popular

c!dream has crossed the moral event horizon and is irredeemable. once you cross that threshold, you're no longer a 'morally grey' character.

pre-recorded, heavily produced lore killed the lore. it was cool, sure, but you completely misunderstand the magic that the smp had when people watched it initially. the story is improv and that's how we like it. we can tell the cc's have lost interest in it, you can admit that to us, we'll understand, just stop lying to me.

c!dream's pov isn't necessary to understand his character or his motivations. if you've watched literally any c!primeboys stream he's basically spelled it out for you.

i don't understand how fans can dislike l'manberg or have claimed to be against it since the beginning. i honestly don't get it. what's so bad about wanting your own spot where you make your own rules and skirt accountability that has been used to technically oppress you before - and, before someone who never saw the earlier streams tries to disagree with this, the og l'manberg crew were imprisoned for shit that everyone else on the server was practically encouraged to do. also, what do you have against fun and happiness?

i think some of you forget that 'hybrids' aren't a thing, discounting c!ranboo. there's no piglin hybrids, c!techno is just a pig. there's no avian hybrids, c!phil is just a man with wings. there's no creeper hybrids, c!sam is just a creeper who's indecently exposed from the hips down. canonically there's no hybrids, and therefore no hybrid discrimination. people ran with that concept too much.

the loss and the fanon rewriting of the early lore up until pogtopia has ruined fandom perception of c!dream and the og l'manberg boys. c!tommy is more morally white than you think he is, and c!dream has always been a villain - he massacres and he kills and he destroys and he schemes and he always has broken his own rules. no wonder the boys wanted their own space after how they were treated.

i think ranboo oftentimes forgets his own lore. he brings stuff up that c!ranboo may have done, such as exploding the community house to frame c!tommy, holding onto Cat, and it goes absolutely nowhere. we've gotten all of these developments in his story but they have never been expanded on, and we're nowhere closer to figuring out his relationship to c!dream and what his other side is and honestly i see no hope that we'll be any closer to knowing even by the end of the year.

your characters don't all have to be morally grey for the story itself to be morally grey. this is fiction - some people can be nothing but evil and others can be nothing but good. being purely good or evil doesn't mean that you're one dimensional, either.

c!dream apologists have ruined c!dream for me. he's not a good person. how about you let me enjoy a villain for who he actually is, rather for than your percieved woobified ragdoll you pass off as c!dream.

the story was better when there was a central writer. it was brilliant back when wilbur wrote it to be that the environment drives the characters and the story, and it was really good in early s2 up until techno's execution day when it was more character driven. since then, the amount of autonomy people have over their characters without any central 'director', as it were, has been a detriment to the story overall. there needs to still be one overarching figure or director or writer.

not everyone is a main character. just because they have a pov, doesn't mean they're a main character. some characters have such little impact on the overall plot and describing everyone as a main character oversaturates the story and makes some characters seem more important than they are.

the egg lore had so much potential up until it didn't. all that built up threat that we were expecting and we still don't even know what the egg wants really other than just controlling people. does it hatch?

genuinely, if there's no major plot developments by the end of the year (and let's be honest, it's a very big possibility at this point), a few of the more prominent members of the server should do a podcast style stream talking about where the story would have gone, because at least then we would have gotten somewhat closer to a conclusion.

c!techno is a villain and an asshole and a bad person. he stops caring for people once their interests don't align with his or if they look at him funny. he makes meta-jokes about his own tyrannical and oppressive nature. stop taking that away from him. he's a bad person. cc!techno does a fabulous job portraying that in a comedic manner and the balancing of him being a deeply flawed person with deeply flawed morals and ideas with his comedically-portrayed stubbornness and lack of willingness to hear out opposing viewpoints is incredible. i want to like characters who are arseholes for the sake of being arseholes, and who refuse to take into account the hurt they've caused either out of self-righteousness or because they don't care, so let me. he's the anti-peacemaker, LET ME HIM ENJOY HIM FOR THAT!!!!

i think tommy and wilbur's way of doing lore is my favourite. relies heavily on improv, voice acting, sprite acting and facial expressions. really shows off the acting props and they pull off the emotional moments well for the insanity of the creative medium.

i'm not a fan of fan-music. i find songs about media i'm into difficult to listen to. coincidentally i'm also not a fan of shit like slam poetry or live music/musicals/pantomimes.

the death of l'manberg killed people's motivation to go on the server casually. i've talked about it more in depth before, but destroying what was a central, driving environment for the story killed momentum and motivation. imagine in an episode of she-ra, the princess alliance just nuke the freight zone and all of the members of the horde just have to deal with it. that would be shit.

until season 3 has some momentum, i'm counting the end of the smp as january 20th. that had a conclusion. season 3 has... whores, technoblade and tommyinnit. that's about it.

i wasn't a fan of the development of c!tubbo joining las nevadas. i preferred snowchester and the walled city conflict. give c!tubbo some backbone and some badassery. also tubbo where's the fucking nuke bro if you're shelving that plotline just tell us on like an alt stream what the plan was i beg

add like 2 or 3 new people to the server so that michael mcchill has someone to talk to and so that there's something always happening on the server. it gives the og's more motivation to return if things are happening in and out of canon and it'll help with momentum, and who knows? maybe they can write their own story/stories.

i really think that c!sam is an underrated character. he's multilayered, extremely interesting, and the dichotomy of his loyalty to his job and how far down the rabbithole that's taken him versus the genuine love he has for his friends that drives him to do what he does out of wanting to do right by them is brilliant. i don't talk about c!sam enough.

STOP HAVING FUCKING VILLAIN ARCS!!! I'M FUCKIN SICK OF IT!!!! i want to see more characters who see everyone else being absolute selfish, abhorrent cunts and go 'if nobody else is going to be a good person, i fucking will'. GIVE ME SOME MORAL WHITENESS!!! IT'S INTERESTING AND MORALLY GOOD CHARACTERS ARE FUN!!!

let tommyinnit build cobblestone towers. everyone bullied him too much for how ugly they were and the one he built outside of the prison looked genuinely really nice. it gives the boy something to do.

i'm a fan of the revive book and the canon lives system. don't ask me why, but i think it might just be the morbidity of it. it adds to c!dream's god complex persona, and i think the fragility of death itself is a really fun concept. not enough fan cc's have made connections with that and c!mumza, and it could make for cool fanfic.

ranboo your house is fucking ugly. it's an eyesore

c!niki, and to some extent now c!jack and c!fundy, are boring me and ruining my mood. i think c!jack is the closest to being an actually interesting sympathetic villain, mainly because nobody else seems to realise that c!niki is a villain. not a good one imo, but she's a villain. c!jack just has the problem of starting a new project over and over and over and over again and because of the slow in momentum for the primary cast, there hasn't been a lot of recent development for him.

not really a dream smp opinion, but if philza went full geordie accent, i would love it. i want him to, in canon, say shit like 'me n ye' instead of 'me and you' and use geordie dialect. i want him to be physically unintelligible because it's funny.

i don't really know what's up with c!foolish but i think he's a dumbass. he had a while to think about c!q's proposal and then changed his mind about joining the guy to admitted to letting him die just because. moron

i wish there was more c!eret lore. i wish he was an actual king with an actual kingdom and actual subjects and royal advisors. c!eret is far too fucking cool to be the king of nothing and nobody. fatten up the kingdom and the castle with people who work with c!eret, and don't just make it tyrannical and dictator-y to prove the point of the server's 'anarchists'. make it a healthy working environment, please - if you want moral greyness, have 'anarchists' who claim to care about the welfare of the server oppose a kingdom of happy people under a fair and just ruler because their ideologies clash.

the server needs more characters who oppose anarchy in more peaceful ways, or passively wish for systems to be a part of. i think a chaos vs order conflict ending only in mutual understanding where everyone understands that they should just leave each other alone would slot nicely into the story that's been created so far.

you need to have watched all of the previous arcs to understand the story. i've seen people argue that they don't need to know about earlier lore to understand the prison, but that's the equivalent of only watching the final season of pretty little liars and expecting to understand the context of what's going on.

some characters aren't that morally grey. some characters, take c!tommy for example, are definitely on the whiter side for the morality scale, he's just an asshole. he's abrasive and rude and a dickhead but he also doesn't agree with terrorism, he's patriotic, he strives for a better world, he's apologetic, but he's also a fucking BITCH.

you can add onto this if you want, but not if you're a c!dream apologist. nobody likes your opinions

[nagipops]

omg wait may i have sanemi shinazugawa and jean kirstein pocky challenge hcs?

POCKY CHALLENGE HEADCANONS!

FEATURING: sanemi shinazugawa, jean kirstein

WARNINGS: cw food

A/N: anon are you telepathic,, i’m eating a box of strawberry pocky rn LMAO but these were so fun to write and it got me all blushy blushy (≧∀≦) i hope you enjoy them as much as i did! :D

SANEMI

let’s be real, it definitely took quite a bit of convincing to get him to agree to do it with you

but you played it off as a competition to see who could hold onto the pocky the longest without dropping it, and his competitiveness kicked in and he agreed

broke it on the first attempt

got mad at you “fOr nOt eXpLaInInG tHe rUlEs”

you didn’t bring up the kissing part when proposing the idea to him, because if you brought up the kissing part he would definitely slap you

on the second try, he’s a lot more focused and concentrated on not losing this time

that he doesn’t notice that your face is literally right there, mere inches away from his

his eyes widened in fear, then hardened again with his determination to win

he takes a few more tentative bites to test if you would do the same, and you do and he starts freaking out a lil

tHIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN

but this man is hell-bent on winning this stupid game, so he focuses on not dropping it while giving you concerned glances from time to time

and then your lips are nearly touching and his heart is beating so fast

you arch an eyebrow playfully, taunting him to take the loss and forfeit but secretly hoping he doesnt

his eyes dart frantically around your face as he considers his options

a) kISS YOU???? or b) back down and look like a loser and get teased by you for life for being a chicken

he can’t decide which would be more detrimental to his ego

but then his eyes lock on yours with a determined glare as your own eyes widen

this man is not backing down

he presses his lips to yours in an instant, and you’re so taken aback by his forwardness for a moment

you only get to reciprocate for a second before he pulls back just as quickly

“i win, loser.”

JEAN

“hah?? i’m not doing some childish kissing game with you!”

you know he definitely wants to

after convincing him it would be fun, he “reluctantly” agrees, “just this once”

the height difference is a little awkward, but he bends down slightly to accomodate

actually the whole thing is a little awkward thanks to him making a big deal out of it and getting all flustered

it’s cute though, seeing his usual argumentative demeanor melt away to this blushing mess

once you two are closer to eachother, he gets lost in your features and how beautiful they are

i mean, he’s always admired you from afar, but seeing you this close to him was nearly breathtaking, he couldn’t believe this was actually happening

your soft eyelashes, your flowing hair, your round cheeks

he wishes he could just capture this moment in time forever

but he’s snapped back into reality as your lips begin to near eachother

and you just gaze into his eyes calmly as his heart starts beating a mile a minute

he gets so nervous that he almost stops at the middle, and its up to you to close the distance

so you do

and gods, it’s magical

once he feels your sweet lips on his, he realizes how stiffened he’s gotten and immediately relaxes into the kiss

he’s never kissed someone quite like this

it’s new, it’s exciting, and it’s you

you pull away to his disappointment and his mind is left reeling

after a few blinks to get him reoriented, his eyes lock onto yours

“not just some childish kissing game, huh jean?”

“no, i don’t remember my childhood being quite that sweet.”

if you enjoyed this post, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) feel free to request here, and make sure to read the rules first! have a lovely day everyone <3

[queenshelby]

The Last Semester – Part 23

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Words: 4,795

Warning: Smut, Angst, Conflict, Fluff

Trigger Warning: Possible Loss of Pregnancy

‘Fuck! You cannot be serious man!’ your father growled as he placed two boxes on the floor besides the door while each of you and Cillian quickly threw on some clothes in order to cover up your naked bodies.

‘John, hang on’ Cillian huffed out as your father was walking towards him, evidentially angry and upset by what he had just witnessed.

It was clear that he wouldn’t back off and was filled with rage.

‘You promised me that it was over…what the fuck Cillian’ your father growled as Cillian got up wearing nothing but his briefs and t-shirt.

‘It was’ Cillian said quickly and, before he could say anything else, you spoke up while stepping in between them with the view to avoid a fight from erupting.

‘Dad, relax and take a deep breath’ you said as Cillian put on his jeans and your father backed off with a step or two.

‘We are back together. It only just happened and we were going to talk to you about it tomorrow’ you then explained, causing your father to chuckle and shake his head.

‘I can’t fucking believe it’ he then huffed out before attempting to attack Cillian once again but, somehow, Cillian managed to push him back against the wall.

‘Listen John, I know you aren’t going to support this and that’s fine by me but, for Y/N’s sake, we need to deal with this in a civilized manner’ Cillian said, trying to calm your father down as he lashed out once again.

‘You are a with a woman half your age who is my fucking daughter and you tell me to act in a civilized manner? You need to end this. It’s fucking shameful Cillian’ your father huffed out rather upset.

‘Well, I am sorry but I am not going to end it. I am done listening to others. It’s fucking everyone. You, Nadine and even my agent, telling me what I can and cannot do. I am sorry it came to this, but I love Y/N and this is what it is going to be. It is between me and her and not anyone else. She is a grown fucking woman, old enough to make her own choices’ Cillian said harshly and somewhat irritated.  

‘Fuck Cillian, would you just think about the implications for a minute? Are you seriously going to subject my daughter to this crap with your ex and the press?’ your father asked angrily before letting go of Cillian.

‘We talked about it, so relax, alright? I am okay with it’ you said, causing your father to huff and shake his head.

‘We are done mate’ your father then growled, huffing in anger as he did before telling you that he had to go back home to look after the boys. The situation was too confronting for him and that evening was the last time you and Cillian saw your father for about four days.

***

Over the following four days, Cillian had told his agent about your relationship and he also told Nadine who was furious and once again verbalised her threats. She was determined to send the tape to the press, making Cillian pay for leaving her and intending to make it sound like as if he was leaving her for a much younger woman.

But Cillian didn’t care and only really told them about you out of courtesy, making it official just as he had planned to. He needed Nadine to know that you were going to meet the boys sooner rather than later and that you would be in their lives moving forward.

But Nadine didn’t appreciate Cillian’s openness, telling him that she would not allow the boys to visit him when you were around.

Of course, Cillian argued with her and, when this went nowhere, he contacted his lawyer about Nadine’s threats, including the impending publication of a sex tape and her, once again, breaching court orders.

His lawyer was quick to send a letter to Nadine, requesting compliance with the orders and outlining to her the detrimental affects her threats would have on the children if she was to do what she had threatened to do.

Regardless of this, Cillian had no idea whether or not she would listen. Only time would tell and he was determined to pick up his boys from Nadine’s house on Saturday morning as planned.

***

Just before the upcoming weekend, Cillian had to travel to London for two days to work on a campaign for a film festival. He was due to leave Dublin on Thursday afternoon and return early Saturday morning.

His trip to London took place at the same day as you had your first ultrasound appointment and you wished that he could be there. But it wasn’t possible as he was contractually obliged to film this campaign.

Just like every other night throughout the past four days, you spent the night at Cillian’s house and he once again cooked dinner for you. He was an excellent cook and had been researching the best diets for pregnant women.

After you had just gotten back together, you barely coped being apart from Cillian and you knew that you would miss him terribly just over the next two nights.

You just wanted to be around him all times which was something that you had never felt for anyone else before. It was strange to you, feeling so needy but, at least, your desire for each other was mutual.

‘You know, you still haven’t shown me this tape’ you said as you snuggled up on the lounge together after dinner.

‘Yes, and there is a reason for that’ Cillian chuckled, feeling uncomfortable about you watching him having sex with another woman.

‘Oh?’ you asked cheekily and he nodded. ‘I have been trying to avoid it. It would be fucking awkward’ Cillian then said which is when you began to nag him again until, finally, he gave in and opened up his lap top.

‘You kept a copy on your lap top?’ you giggled.

‘Nadine was nice enough to send me a folder with all this stuff when she first threatened to send the sex tape to the press’ Cillian said as he entered the password.

‘Hang on Cillian, there are more than one video?’ you asked surprised as you saw a few video and photo files within this secured folder.

‘Yes, but the others aren’t an issue. Nadine won’t want to ruin her own reputation’ he then chuckled and you were shocked and surprised all at the same time.

‘I will leave you with the lap top while I go and have a shower. Knock yourself out’ Cillian then chuckled with red cheeks and full of embarrassment.

When he disappeared into the bathroom, you couldn’t help but click through the different files and what you saw did blow your mind.

The woman named Laura wasn’t the only woman other than Nadine who was on these videos and you were somewhat surprised by what your boyfriend had been up to before you met.

There were at least four other women on these videos and you started to think whether this is what he would want to do with you in the future. You weren’t sure whether you would ever be comfortable with this, sharing him in this way.  

‘I am glad to see that you are still here and haven’t ran out the door yet’ Cillian chuckled when he finally emerged from the bathroom, approaching you wearing nothing and covered only by a white fluffy towel.

‘I didn’t expect this’ you chuckled and Cillian sat down next to you and took your hands into his.

‘Ask what you want to ask’ Cillian then said calmly, noticing your facial expressions. You were worried and concerned.

‘Is this something you would want to do with me and…uhm…another woman?’ you wondered.

‘No’ Cillian then said.

‘But you did with Nadine’ you said concerned.

‘Nadine and I went through a lot of problems Y/N. I had no desire to be with her for many years after the boys were born. She realised. Then she cheated. We got back together for the boys and spiced up our loveless marriage. That’s it. Doing the threesomes was fun but the sex I have with you is much better than any of them were’ Cillian then said before pressing his lips onto yours.

‘Good, because I don’t think I could share you’ you then said as your lips drifted apart and you climbed on top of Cillian’s lap, putting a knee on either side of his hips and sliding forward as far as you could.

Whilst you were surprised by what you found on the videos, you were also a little turned on. Despite, the sex you had with Cillian was also the best for you. After all, he was the first man who made you climax.

As you sat on his lap, you held Cillian’s face in your hands and kissed him again while pressing your mound against his growing erection which was covered by nothing more than a towel.

Cillian put his arms around you and pulled you close, the kiss deepening, and both of you could feel his cock growing longer, thicker, and harder.

‘Hmm that was quick’ you giggled while Cillian slid his hands down your back to your ass, gripping the firm globes in his hands and squeezing hard, making you moan in his mouth.

‘Of course, because this is what you do to me’ Cillian said in between kisses and, after a few more moments you sat back, you mouth hanging slightly open and your breath coming a little faster.

With lust in your eyes, you grabbed the bottom of the top you were wearing, then pulled it up and over your head. You dropped it on the floor next to the couch and then sat up, sliding your hands around Cillian’s neck to the back of his head and pulled his face to your chest, guiding his lips directly to your left nipple.

Cillian clamped his lips around your hard nipple and sucked on it, gently at first but quickly increasing the suction and making you moan. He then squeezed your ass in his hands as he flicked his tongue over the hard little nub, then nipped it between his teeth and making you squeal and jump. He moved his mouth over to her other breast and did the same thing to the nipple there, and by the time he was done your breathing was coming quick.

‘Fuck, you got the most beautiful breasts’ Cillian said as he listened to you moan, closing your eyes and enjoying what he was doing.

‘If you say so’ you giggled as you held your hand on the back of his head and pressed his face into your breast again, and Cillian sucked hard on your nipple in response.

‘You know what I didn’t see much of in these videos…unfortunately?’ you said in a breathless whisper before you stood up from Cillian’s lap and stepped between his feet, bending down to unwrap the towel.

‘What?’ Cillian groaned as you went down onto your knees, spreading his legs open with your hands.

‘This’ you whispered as wrapped your hand around his already hard cock before leaning forward, gripping it tightly and pumping it slowly.

A large drop of clear precum appeared at the tip, and you stuck out your tongue and licked it off. You smiled at Cillian as you swallowed it, pumping his cock and making another drop appear. You licked off that one, too, never taking your eyes off of his as you did.

‘I love the taste of you’ you whispered, smiling at him before lowering your head down and licking his smooth-shaven balls with the flat of your tongue.

‘Jesus…fuck’ Cillian growled as you opened your mouth wide and placed your lips on his balls. You expertly and effortlessly sucked both of them into your mouth, using just enough suction to keep them in your mouth without hurting him.

You then gripped his cock hard in your hand and pumped it slowly as you rolled his balls around in your mouth, running your thumb over the head of his cock to spread the precum that you knew would be there around and making Cillian jump as you did.

‘You are so fucking good at this…fuck’ Cillian growled, breathing heavily as you let his balls slip out of your sucking mouth and slowly licked the underside of his cock with the flat of your tongue from his balls all the way up to the head, moving your hand out of the way as you did.

When you got to the head of his cock you immediately slipped your mouth down around it and sucked it into your mouth, sliding your warm, wet mouth down onto his cock until you had a little more than half of it in your mouth.

Cillian moaned as he watched you slide your mouth down onto his shaft. Your oral skills never ceased to amaze him and he loved watching you suck on his cock almost as much as he loved feeling it.

‘We should make a tape…of me doing this to you’ you then said before you worked your mouth up and down on his cock, sucking hard on it as you worked more and more of it into your mouth. It took less than thirty seconds for you to swallow his entire shaft, your nose pressed against him as you took his entire length into your mouth and down your throat.

‘Oh, my god’ Cillian growled as you reached for his phone, handing it to him all while you continued to pleasure him with your mouth.

‘Take a few photos. You can look at them while you are in London’ you whispered as you took a quick pause from what you were doing.

‘Fuck’ Cillian groaned and barely managed to hold up his phone, taking a few shots of you as you deep throated him for several pleasurable minutes before sliding your mouth up his cock until just the head and the first two inches were in your mouth.

You then wrapped your hand around his glistening cock and gripped it hard, pumping it as you sucked on the head of his cock. You then pressed the flat of your tongue against the underside of his cock and slid it up and down, sucking hard as you pumped his cock with your hand, looking him in the eyes as you worked on him.

‘Fuck Y/N…you are going to make me cum’ he then growled.

‘I know’ you quickly responded before you continued sucking hard on his cock, urging him to cum in your mouth.

It only took a few more moments for Cillian to feel his balls stirring and his orgasm building. Your cheeks were caved in further than he'd ever seen before, an indicator of the incredible suction you were applying with your mouth, and Cillian felt his cock widen as his orgasm quickly built.

‘Cum in my mouth, let me swallow it all’ you cried out around his cock in your mouth, urging him to cum as you gripped his cock harder, pumping it with your hand.

‘Jesus’ Cillian groaned as his orgasm hit and his cock exploded in your mouth. He thrust his hips upward and gripped the cushions of the couch in his fists, squeezing his eyes shut and throwing his head back as he endured the sheer force of his intense orgasm.

You kept up the suction on his cock as his hard shaft throbbed and pumped in your mouth, shooting stream after stream of hot, thick cum into your mouth and on your tongue.

‘Hmm’ you moaned around Cillian’s cock as it filled your mouth up with his cum. Four, five, six, seven times his cock pumped cum into your mouth, and you took it all.

You looked up at him as his orgasm slowly began to subside, slowing the motion of your hand on his shaft as you squeezed every last drop out of his cock and into your mouth. You pulled and tugged on his balls as you squeezed the cum from him, and when the last spasm ran through his shaft and the last bit of cum was spit out of his cock, you slowly slid your mouth from his cock, kissing the head with a mouth full of cum as you did.

Cillian was quick to reach for his phone again and, just as he opened the camera, you looked up towards it and tilted your head back slightly and opened your mouth, showing your mouthful of his cum to him.

With the camera on record, you put a hand under your chin palm up, tilting your head forward and letting his cum run out of her mouth and into the palm of your hand. When your palm was full of Cillian’s cum your mouth was still half-full, so you tilted your head back to stop the flow.

‘That’s a lot’ you said, your words muffled by your mouthful of his cum. You smiled at Cillian and then lowered your mouth down to your hand and sucked the cum back into your mouth, then looked up at him as you swallowed it. You opened your mouth and showed him that it was empty, then slipped your mouth back onto his still-hard cock and began sucking on it again, although not as hard as you did to make him cum.

‘Are you ready for me to fuck you now?’ you then asked, smiling up at him, your hand pumping his shaft.

‘Always’ Cillian huffed out, enjoying the way you took control.

You stood up in front of him and took a step back, then hooked your thumbs into the sides of your panties and slid them down over your hips, letting them fall to the floor around your feet before stepping out of them.

Then you stepped back towards Cillian and turned around, giving Cillian a perfect view of your magnificent ass.

‘Common, take a few more’ you then giggled as you bent over in front of him and he could see that your big, thick outer lips were already swollen and glistening with your juices.

As Cillian put the camera back on record, you rubbed your pussy with your hand, sliding your fingers in between your swollen outer lips, rubbing them up and down before spreading the lips apart with your fingers to give Cillian some good material for his videos and photos.

Then you moved back towards him to climb onto his lap. As you guided his cock towards your entrance, your thick outer lips spread open and enveloped the sides of his shaft as you moved, sliding your wet pussy up and down on the underside and coating it with your slick juices.

‘Fuck’ Cillian growled again as you placed the head at the opening of your pussy and pushed your hips down, sliding your pussy down onto his cock. You took your hand from his cock and put both hands on the tops of his shoulders for support as you sat down on Cillian’s cock in one long, smooth motion, taking him as deep inside you as you could in one stroke.

Cillian sighed out loud as he felt your pussy enveloping his cock. You were very tight, very hot, and very wet, and he groaned when you settled down onto his cock and then squeezed it with your inner muscles.

‘Oh, my God, that feels so good Cillian’ you moaned as you slowly ground your hips down and onto his cock. ‘I love the feeling of your hard cock inside me’ you groaned as you began to move, lifting yourself up and down on his cock.

Cillian rested his hands on your hips as you moved, gripping you lightly as you rode his cock. You rode him in long, slow strokes, pushing down hard onto him and rotating your hips as you ground your pussy down onto his cock. You moaned slightly as you squeezed his cock with your pussy, loving the feeling of his cock being buried inside you.

As you were riding Cillian, you both exchanged several passionate kisses while Cillian’s lips moved to your neck on occasion, nibbling on your sensitive skin.

You soon increased the tempo of your hips sliding up and down on his hard shaft, leaning forward and kissing him and moaning into his mouth.

‘Oh god Cillian, fuck’ you panted as she rode him. ‘I'm gonna cum all over your cock’ you then moaned loudly.

‘Do it, baby, let me feel you cum’ Cillian urged as your hips moved faster. He could feel his own orgasm starting to build, and he knew that feeling and seeing you cum would set him off. He gripped the cushions in his fists as you rode him, bouncing up and down on his cock, moaning louder and louder as you got closer and closer to orgasm.

‘Oh god yes’ you exclaimed, and a moment later you did. You cried out loudly as your orgasm hit, and Cillian could feel your body shaking as you slammed your hips down onto him, sitting up and slapping your hands down onto his chest for support as you drove his cock as deeply into your pussy as you could.

You ground her hips down and around onto him for a moment, then continued moving your hips up and down as your orgasm shook you. He could feel your pussy clenching around his cock, your juices running down his shaft and over his balls, and then he felt his balls shift as his orgasm rapidly approached.

A split second later he came, groaning loudly and bucking his hips upwards as his cock erupted inside your clutching, squeezing pussy. You cried out again as he thrust his cock into you. This orgasm was almost as intense as his first, but shorter in duration.

You sat up and pushed your hips down onto him to drive his spurting cock deep inside you, holding you still as he filled your pussy with his cum. You were coming down from your own orgasm as well, panting for breath as you sat on his lap with his cock throbbing inside you. When his own orgasm was over and his cock stopped pumping cum into your pussy, Cillian was left gasping for breath as well.

‘Holy shit!’ he gasped, and you looked at him, smiling and, when you finally came down from your high, you got off his lap, causing his cum to leak from your pussy onto the lounge.

‘Wait, let me take one more picture’ Cillian then said and, without warning, he pushed you down onto the lounge with your back resting against the pillows.

‘Spread your legs’ he then instructed and you complied, allowing him to get a very good view of your cum filled and leaking pussy.

You separated the outer lips of your pussy slightly with your fingers, opening it up for the camera and allowing him to take a picture just as more of his cum leaked from your mound.

‘Jesus’ he growled at the sight of it. Seeing his cum inside you turned him on immensely and he was quick to join you on the lounge.

‘Actually, there is one other thing I would really love to film’ Cillian then said and you knew what would be next when he handed you his phone.

‘Film yourself’ he then instructed just as he inserted two of his fingers inside your cum filled pussy.

‘Oh my god Cillian, fuck…’ you growled as he curled his fingers upwards towards your g-spot with one hand while you held the phone downwards and pressed record.

He knew it wouldn’t take you long to cum like this and, just after three minutes of Cillian massaging your g-spot with his fingers, he could feel your walls clench around him.

‘That’s it babe, cum around my fingers’ Cillian growled and, at this point, you barely managed to hold onto his phone as your legs began to shake and your orgasm washed over you, causing you to squirt all over Cillian’s fingers and his beige leather lounge.

‘Fuck Cillian, oh god’ you moaned as wave after wave of pleasure came over you and, finally, when you came down, Cillian withdrew his fingers from you and you let his phone drop onto the lounge beside you.

‘This is the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen’ Cillian said as he picked up the phone and watched the video not once, but twice, while you were still panting on the lounge.

‘Oh god Cilly, I don’t know what turns you on about me making such a fucking mess, but hey, I am glad you like it’ you said somewhat embarrassed as you looked down at the lounge and the wooden floor before noticing Cillian’s cock which was rock hard yet again after having watched you squirt.

‘Uhm…’ you said somewhat surprised, causing Cillian to laugh as you walked into the kitchen to have some water and get a cloth.

‘Bedroom?’ you then asked as you returned and quickly wiped down the lounge with a cloth.

‘Yeah’ Cillian said with a big grin on his face, following you upstairs.

***

After another two orgasms for you and one for Cillian, you finally curled up against each other, tired and exhausted from hours of passionate sex.

‘I am sorry I can’t be there tomorrow Y/N’ Cillian said somewhat saddened as this was going to be your first scan after the pregnancy was confirmed at the doctor��s office several weeks ago.

‘It’s alright. I will get them to print out a picture for you’ you then said, cuddling into Cillian’s bare chest.

‘I would like that’ Cillian then said, running his hands through your hair gently before continuing on with what he was wanting to say all evening.

‘I was thinking that, since we are having a baby together, we should probably live together as well’ he said almost nervously before formally asking you whether you would like to move in with him.

‘You want me to move in with you?’ you then asked somewhat surprised.

‘Yes’ Cillian confirmed. ‘I know it’s early, but it feels right considering the circumstances, don’t you think?’ Cillian then asked and you nodded shyly.

‘I would like that’ you then said before looking up at him and kissing him passionately.

***

Around 2 o’clock the following day, your stepmother sneakily picked you up at Cillian’s house which you hadn’t left since the night before, before accompanying you to your appointment in town.

‘Nervous?’ she asked as you drove to the clinic and you nodded before thanking her for coming with you.

‘Of course’ she said before asking when Cillian was leaving.

‘His flight is at 3 o’clock’ you then said somewhat disappointed but, at least, you had someone with you for this visit.

The wait time at the doctor’s office was less than ten minutes and, after you got changed into a gown, you were taken into the sonographer’s office first for a quick scan.

‘So, we are around 10 weeks along?’ she then asked and you nodded before she inserted the ultrasound tube, causing you to cringe.

‘Take in a deep breath and hold it’ she then instructed as she probed around for several minutes before changing the angle and then using another device to roll across your stomach.

You watched the sonographer look at the screen for what appeared like an eternity, swallowing harshly as she did before, finally, calling in the doctor on duty.

By this point, you were slightly concerned and your stepmother held onto your hand tightly. She knew what this meant, but was hopeful nonetheless.

‘What’s happening?’ you asked extremely concerned as the doctor sat down on the sonographer’s chair and looked through the pictures on the screen before listening to her recordings.

‘Miss, I am very sorry but we cannot find a heartbeat. We need to discuss options’ the doctor then said, causing your heart to shatter into a million pieces.

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[thirstyforcharacters]

*Damaging the Petals (Obi-Wan Kenobi x Senator! Reader

Summary: You and Obi-Wan have a rare night to yourselves in the midst of the Clone Wars. And of course, you only have one thing on your mind.

Notes: It’s finally ready! It feels like it's been forever since I've written anything. That's mostly because a new semester of college has begun (I'm in week 3 atm and it feels like it's week 300000), and I have much less time to write. It took me 3 weeks to write this because I literally have almost no free time, and I thought I'd only get a chance to finish this weekend, but I actually had a bit of time today, so here comes the Obi-Wan smut! Hope you enjoy! (no she/her pronouns, no y/n)

Warnings: smut! 18+ only! inappropriate use of the Force, oral (female receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, y’all), a smidgeon of choking

WC: 2.2 k

“Can I ask you something?”

You and Obi-Wan were lying in your plush canopy bed together, enjoying one of the very few evenings you were able to snag alone in the midst of the Clone Wars. Being a Jedi and a senator in a secret relationship was hard enough in normal circumstances, but during an intergalactic war, it was practically impossible. But somehow, you were able to make it work. It was the small moments like these, in between Obi-Wan risking his life for the greater good, and you writing up anti-war bills that would inevitably be rejected by the chancellor (which always confused you), that made the hell you were going through worth it.

You were mindlessly watching a random holodrama, your head in his lap and his fingers running through your hair, which normally would put you right to sleep. Right now, though, you were keyed up. One unfortunate consequence of not being able to see each other was the fact that your sex life was dwindling. The few intimate moments you had together were fantastic (you both made sure of that), but they were so infrequent that you found yourself left on edge more often than not. And Padme putting this particular idea in your head at lunch earlier that day wasn’t helping anything. Now, the cadence of his fingers gently tugging at your hair made your heart pump faster.

“Anything, flower.”

Your heart swelled for a second, the sweet nickname he reserved only for you briefly making you forget the impure thoughts that swirled around your head. But they soon returned, and you knew that if you didn’t ask now, the tenderness of his actions would soon make you forget your purpose. You looked up at him from your place in his lap, and his eyes were already on you, giving you his full attention.

“So, Padme told me something that her and Anakin do in the bedroom, and I was wondering if maybe we could try it? Only if you’re comfortable with it, of course,” you asked.

He raised an eyebrow, “Oh? And what would that be?”

“Well, they occasionally use the Force to… enhance their activities. I know that you stick to the code a little more than Anakin does, so if that’s too much of an inappropriate use of the Force for you, I get it. If it’s not though, I’d really like to try it,” you explained.

“That’s an interesting topic for senators to speak about at a business lunch,” he quipped, his eyes sparking with mischief.

You rolled your eyes, “Did you really expect us to talk about Senator Organa’s clone citizenship bill the entire time? No matter how good of an idea I think it is, it is a bit boring to talk politics for that long, even for a senator.”

He chuckled, shaking his head, “Of course not. As for your question, I would be willing to give it a try. But, you have to promise that you’ll tell me if it’s too much, or if I’m hurting you in any way. The Force is a powerful tool, and I do not wish to damage your petals with it, my flower.”

You smiled at his tender words, “You have my word, Obi-Wan.”

He returned your smile, then rearranged your bodies so you were lying beneath him. It started as gentle as always; Obi-Wan always preferred to be delicate with you. The soft, yet passionate kisses that your lover pressed to your lips made your head spin. He began removing your clothes then, peeling off each layer as if he was peeling the petals off of a rose. The only time his lips left yours was when he pulled your blouse over your head; otherwise, it was like he couldn’t get enough of you. And you couldn’t get enough of him, either.

Once you were fully nude, your lover started to trail kisses down your body. He gently nipped at your neck, though not enough to leave marks. You both knew that doing so would be detrimental to the secrecy of your relationship, but that didn’t stop him from leaving marks in other places. There were many mornings after your escapades where your inner thighs and breasts were covered in small bruises and marks. Running your fingers up and down those spots always made you blush, remembering the passionate nights before. Even though he did blemish your skin with his teeth, in most other ways in the bedroom, he was gentle and loving.

A soft nip to one of your breasts brought you out of your thoughts, and you gasped out in surprised and pleasure as Obi-Wan soothed the mark that he left with his tongue. His lips wrapped around your nipple and sucked harshly, making you arch into his mouth. His other hand moved to toy with your other nipple, making soft whimpers of pleasure fall from your lips. You could feel him smirking against you as he continued his ministrations, reveling in the way he could make you so needy for him with just a few tweaks to your breasts.

Eventually, though, he was getting bored with this game, and his hands moved down to your legs, each one gripping your thighs and pulling them open, exposing your dripping cunt to him. Even though he was being on the gentle side, you could still tell that you would probably have marks on your thighs tomorrow. Obi-Wan placed his head between your thighs and looked up at you. The fire in his eyes made you even wetter for him; you knew that you were an absolute goner. Without so much as a warning, he licked a stripe up your pussy.

You cried out in surprise and wound your fingers into his hair. But almost as soon as you had, you felt a hand grip your wrists and pull them until they were above your head. It couldn’t have been Obi-Wan’s hands because they were holding you open, so there was only one thing it could be. Your realization, combined with the soft, teasing licks Obi-Wan was pressing to your pussy, made a wave of heat rush through your body.

Obi-Wan looked up at you and almost moaned out himself. Your body stretched out before him, being held down by invisible hands, was probably the most arousing thing he had ever seen.

“Does that feel okay, flower? Not too much?” he asked softly, not wanting to overwhelm you.

You couldn’t help but smile gently at his sweetness, “It’s perfect, Obi.”

And it was. The hands holding you down were slightly warm to the touch, and they were holding you down just enough to keep you still, not enough to hurt you. It was exactly like how you had imagined it.

He smiled back, “Good. Just wanted to be sure.”

And he dove back in with renowned fervor. He ate you out like he was a starved man, eating his first meal in weeks. He enjoyed giving you oral almost as much as you did, so he was always willing to give you what you needed, just as you were for him. The symbiotic nature of your sexual relationship is why it worked so well, and it was why the few times you would get alone were always wonderful. There was never taking without giving; you both were generous lovers, responsive to each other’s needs.

His lips worked dutifully, licking up every bit of wetness dripping from your core, and all you could do was lie back and take it. Obi-Wan’s own hands on your thighs, combined with the Force holding down your arms, successfully kept you completely still, defenceless against whatever Obi-Wan had planned for you. Soon, you were close, your wetness dribbling down his chin. His lips suctioned to your clit and two of his fingers pressed into your entrance, making you come harder than you thought you had before, and that was just from his lips. He moaned against you while he worked you through your orgasm, taking everything you gave him and still pumping his fingers to help you ride it out.

When you came down, Obi-Wan removed himself from between your thighs and moved up to your lips, kissing you softly. You reciprocated as best you could, but you were already exhausted. And you hadn’t even gotten to the best part yet.

“Are you doing okay, flower? Not too much?” Obi-Wan asked.

You nodded in agreement, “Yes. ‘M fine. Need more.”

He quirked up a brow, “More? Well, you know I can’t say no to you.”

You tried to use your legs to pull his hips back down to yours, but found that your ankles were now being held down by the same force holding your wrists. You didn’t quite know how you didn’t notice that before, but you weren’t complaining. Actually, you loved it.

He noticed you pulling against your invisible bonds and smirked a bit, “Eager?”

“Need you, Obi. Please.”

Luckily for you, Obi-Wan wasn’t really in a teasing mood. Neither of you had been lately, since your sexual escapades have been few and far between. That might also be why he still felt so big, even though you had taken him so many times before. Every time he was inside of you, it took your breath away. This time was no exception. You couldn’t hold back the desperate sound that tore from your throat when he pushed in, almost as much as you imagined he couldn’t keep the low groan that fell from his lips contained.

“Please, Obi,” you begged, “need you to move. I’m ready.”

Of course, he complied with your request. Though at first his rhythm was slow and steady to get you used to the feeling, before long his hips were snapping into yours at a rapid pace. Whenever you tried to arch your back to meet his thrusts, the Force would push you back down. Your body was completely at Obi-Wan’s mercy. You couldn’t even bring yourself to speak; the ecstasy you were feeling proving to be overwhelming in the best possible way. The only vocalizations of your pleasure that you could give were needy whines, and Obi-Wan was drinking it in. Every soft sound that fell from your lips served to spur him on further.

“You always feel so good, my flower. Still so tight for me, even after all of this time. Every time we’re together feels better than the last.”

Somehow, even his dirty talk had an air of elegance about it. It certainly didn’t lose any effect, his words made your moans grow louder as you grew closer and closer to your peak. His hands were planted firmly on the bed to steady himself as he thrusted into you, which is why you squeaked in surprise when you felt a phantom force start to rub circles on your clit. The surprise quickly became pleasure, and you gasped out his name in broken syllables as you felt another hand slowly close around your throat. This particular kink of yours wasn’t utilized too often, as it wasn’t exactly the most delicate of treatment. But the feeling of the phantom limb squeezing your neck was what brought you to the edge.

White hot pleasure flowed through your body, and you knew that you had never felt like this before. You were lost in the feeling; it was so intense that you didn’t even register when Obi-Wan came to his own high. You only vaguely heard him murmuring sweet nothings into your ear, and barely even noticed him running a cloth between your thighs to clean you off.

When you had fully regained your awareness, Obi-Wan was cradling you to his chest, running his fingers through your hair and whispering, “You were so wonderful, flower.”

“Thank you,” you replied quietly, signaling to him that you were finally back.

He tilted your chin up so you were looking at his face, a serious expression crossing it.

“That wasn’t too much for you, was it?”

You shook your head, “It was exactly how I thought it would be. Thank you for doing this for me.”

His serious expression gave way to a loving gaze. It truthfully was something you never thought you’d see from him when you befriended him all of those years ago, and now that you had it, it was something you would always treasure.

“I can’t say that I hadn’t thought about it, either. I was just hoping you would bring it up first.”

You giggled, “I don’t think those thoughts have any place in the Jedi Code.”

He shook his head, a fond smile etched across his features, “No, not exactly. I don’t think the council would be very happy with me right now.”

“Probably not. Improper use of the Force and all,” you joked.

His fingers moved from your hair to your face, gently tracing your jawline, “I love you.”

“And I love you,” you reciprocated.

Sure, what you had was complicated. It went against all rules, and everything that your boyfriend was supposed to stand for. But in this moment, none of that mattered. You had each other, and you would navigate the rough waters of the galaxy together, no matter what.

[wibblyparfait]

[holds out my only OC ever like longcat] here comes the 💞🌸✨🥰 BOY 🥰✨🌸💞

once again i still dont have the energy for smth like a portrait or wish art BUT. since i signed him up for an rp somewhere i finally managed to get this done AND i wanna gush so bad SO

more info and disjointed rambling under the cut!! otherwise HI ITS MY BOY MY DUMBASS MEOW MEOW 💞 

HI WELCOME TO HERE!! flattered u’re reading/gen its mostly pretending angst doesnt exist in favor of shitposty hijinks AKGFKD

Starting off with that he’s a Cryo Catalyst!! His Elemental Skill (Hunter’s Prowl) doesnt do dmg but he turns into mist for a short while, which increases his Movement SPD for the duration AND any enemies he comes into contact with during it gets marked with “Inugami’s Vow”, which lowers their Cryo RES 🕺 And then his Elemental Burst (Promises Repaid) has him turning into his Inugami form and rounding up a few enemies into a center before pouncing on them and dealing a final Huge Burst of Cryo DMG. PLUS any enemies marked by Inugami’s Vow then hit by the final hit get dealt extra Cryo DMG  ✨

(His ascensions also basically build on his selfish DPS capabilities, while most of his cons make him more reactions-centered especially for Swirl and its defo not cuz his sister is an Anemo unit noo whaat 👌) (ALSO his passive makes it so if he’s in the party, chests in the open world have a small chance to drop double the treasure wooo!!!!) 

AND NOW THAT GAMEPLAY IDEAS R OUT OF THE WAY 

[holds him like a hamburger] HES JUST A LITTLE GUY :)) Inugami by heritage (if it wasnt obvious by. yknow. the theme of his gameplay kit) so he’s extremely loyal (much to his detriment, usually) but on the shyer side, and would be the braincell between him and his chaotic sister Sumire if he actually spoke up, but after an incident during the Vision Hunt Decree where said sister’s Vision got taken, hes become SUPER protective of her and chooses to let her go off and basically enables her cursed tendencies instead KFDGFDKJ 

and speaking of the Vision Hunt Decree. When that whole scenario went down, at the time he didn’t have a Vision of his own so he tried to steal it back from the Tenryou Commission but was caught in the process. BUT at that moment he got his Vision and used it to blast people until he realized That Wouldnt Make A Good Case so he ended up striking a deal where, in return for getting to keep his Vision in the meantime, he’d work for the Commission as a Detective to find more Vision-users and the resources they use to hide (since he’d have an easier time gaining their trust as a fellow Vision-user) 

and he tried to stall most of the time since, contrary to the not-good reputation that Inugami get he doesn’t actually want to hurt anyone unprompted, and he mainly just tried to bide his time until he could try stealing Sumire’s Vision back for real, BUT then either his or her Vision could just get held over his head and that’d end up making him cave, so there’s a few arrests n stuff during the Decree that he’s responsible for 😔

BUT now that THAT whole issue’s over and the Decree’s gone, he only stays with the Tenryou Commission cuz he wants to repair his reputation and make up for all he did too ✊ 

,,,EXCEPT YOU’RE VERY BOLD TO ASSUME I HAVE THE BRAINPOWER TO VERBALIZE ANGST all you’re getting from me until i get bored enough to write serious things is occassional shitposts with either Okami sibling shenanigans, Tenryou Commission fuckery (since he and Heizou, despite both being detectives, Do Not Work Well Together At All so Sara is their single mom/braincell holder), Or Yukio being both a dumbass and also Extremely Soft for his bf Thoma because i dont control what i draw at all and all i know is fluff and hijinks 😩 KGHDKGJFD

(woo woo thats all off the top of my head and oh my god thats So Much Already help BUT ALSO TYSM IF YOU’RE HERE AWAWAWA!!!!!! 💞 💞 💞 )

[thatweeboverthereisthirsty]

hello! i saw your headcanons for your six fav chars dating an s/o who smokes and it cracked me up😂😂😂(especially Malleus' LMAO) can i please request the first years reaction to their s/o vaping/smoking? thank you!!💗💗💗💗💗 (i can imagine Sebek is just constant yelling...oof😶)

Ok so like Jack is really out of character but I needed to just post something to get my groove back and here it is.

Characters: Ace, Deuce, Jack, Epel

Ace:

So like everything was good and chill until Ace saw you pull out a cigarette and his brain did a loopty loop

HAHAHAHAHAHA THAT'S JUST A FAKE! CAUSE YOU WOULD NEVER SMOKE! AHAHAHAHAH… NO!

Gimme that nasty ass cancer stick

10/10 times would say yeet and toss the pack across the room

Ace why are you like this

Your still in the middle of processing what happened when he grabs your face with a hand on each side

Your face is squished and your lips make fish lips

“Why would you choose death over me? I thought we had something!”

90% of his scolding would be ridiculous and overly funny, but in the end he makes you throw the cigarettes away and promise to never smoke again

“If you smoke again I swear to god I’ll get riddle in here and he will beat your *ss to neptune and back”

Deuce:

Oh you’re vaping. Interesting

*several minutes later*

*Insert dramatic gasp here*

Straight up runs from the room

You’re sitting here like umm… sis what?

When he comes back he grabs the vape and leaves again

“Sorry I need this for a moment”

It’s a solid 5 minutes before he comes back gasping for breath

“Where’d you put my vape?”

...Where did he put your vape

Literally has no idea what he did with it but does know that he was flipping out and ran like all the way around Heartslaybul at least twice

You get 17 texts from other students who are questioning his behavior

“You could have just asked me to put it away”

He looses it and rants about how awful vaping is and explains that as the bad boy he knows that it’s not worth it

In the end you promise to never do any form of drugs again and he calms down

“But like for real do you have no idea what you did with it”

Que Riddle randomly finding a vape on the ground somewhere *dials up Trey* “Collect the children. We’re about to have a public execution.”

Jack:

So like where’d this weird smell of Nicotine come from

Oh it’s you

Haha how odd, Jack would never think someone as bright as you would smoke

Then you’ve pulled out a cigarette and Jacks over protective wolf instincts kick in and he’s snatched it so fast you thought it simply vanished

Absolutely no amount of pleading will have him give it back to you

He’s probably also gonna frisk you for more (his face was red the whole time lol)

He looks you dead in the eye and says if he catches you again he will take you to rehab despite your insistence that rehab is for people who are addicted

That doesn’t matter to him and he’s also probably gonna do research and hold his own little rehab for you

“I’m not doing this because I care about you. I’m doing it so you don’t smell funny.”

Oh Jack you are not fooling anyone

Would buy a pack of cigarettes just to have you flush it down the toilet

Sends you articles and videos about people who died by smoking and sends charts about the stats behind smoking

At some point Leona walked down the hall to get to his room and saw Jack smuggling anti-smoking and sobriety posters with bows on them and packs of cigarettes into his room

It was probably a solid minute before Leona snapped out of his shock and decided he could have Ruggie deal with it later

You wished you could have been there for that conversation

“So jack. Leona wanted me to come and just… check in. He saw you had a few… um… questionable items with you.” - Ruggie

That sort of diffused the situation a bit but Jack still likes to pat your pockets down anytime he thinks something is remotely off

Epel:

Honestly Epel is the type to stay quiet when he first discovers your little habit

Not that he doesn’t care 

He will probably wear himself out with worry but not ever actually tell you what's going on because he was taught to respect people's decisions

Even if they are bad ones

Eventually Vil decides he’s going to get to the bottom of it and pretty much demands that Epel tell him what’s going on

“Your stress fit is seriously detrimental to your health and now since it hasn’t gone away you're making me stressed out, so Epel I swear to the queen if you don’t tell me what’s wrong and my skin breaks out I will poison you with the stomach flu for a week”

Vil probably wouldn’t really do that because vomiting is gross (and totally not cause I headcanon him having a soft spot for the adorable first year), but it does the trick and Epel spills about you vaping

A part of Vil wants to tell Epel to step aside so he can whip you for your ignorance towards your health, but he would also like to see the first year assert himself more

“Confidence is beauty. It doesn’t matter what you wear, you will never be beautiful if you don’t want to wear it.”

Not the greatest pep talk but Epel gets the point and immediately makes his way over to your dorm

You’re more than a little surprised when he walks over and grabs the vape from your hand

“Y/n you know I love you and that is why I am forbidding you from doing this any longer!”

Although he says it with force it’s clear that he is still nervous, so you can’t help but giggle

He immediately pouts and you try to stop your laughing

“Alright Epel, I will stop vaping”

Vil is thanking all his makeup that he didn’t have to step in, he has way more beautiful things to do with his time

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Sing Me to Sleep: One

Where is Y/N?” Bruce asked, pouring tea into his mug from the pot on the table.

“At work,” Thor replied.

“Still?” Bruce asked, glancing at the clock. 

Thor nodded and sighed, “She texted last night, after you fell asleep.”

Bruce frowned and looked at the clock again. You’d been working a punishing number of hours. More hours than any one person should be working. It was too much. 80 hour weeks. 20 hour shifts sometimes.  And when you come home, collapsing into bed and curing around the nearest stuffed animal or warm body… It broke both their hearts. Especially when you cried. Never where they could see you, or when you thought they were looking. 

But in your sleep. As tears ran down your cheeks and you whimpered in the dark. So tired and care worn that your heart referred to rest. It aired the grievances in your sleep that you couldn’t voice during your waking hours.

“What was she doing?” Bruce asked. 

“She couldn’t give me very many details,” Thor said, “But she did say that it wasn’t going to be a dangerous situation. And it sounded like she was in a hospital.”

“IN a hospital?” Bruce said, slightly alarmed. 

“No. No- with a patient. Not as a patient,” Thor said soothingly, wrapping an arm around Bruce’s waist and resting his forehead on the other man’s ribs.

Bruce Exhaled slowly and nodded, thankful that you at the very least, weren’t in any dangerous place this time. 

“How long has it been?” Thor asked. 

“I don’t know,” Bruce admitted, “She left around 11am yesterday. And I know at some point she took a nap in her car.”

“Ah yes,” Thor snorted, “Her trusty rolling fortress… At least she was reasonably comfortable for a while.”

“If a little chilly,” Bruce said smiling. 

For a long moment, the two of them were silent. Staring at the clock and considering. Wondering how much longer it was going to take for you to stumble through the door. 

“She’s going to be tired,” Thor said, a little sadly. 

Bruce made a soft sound of agreement and sighed, “Yeah. I think we better make sure there’s clean sheets on the bed and something hot to eat.”

Thor nodded, frowning slightly. The God hated the idea that you were hungry and exhausted somewhere. And he hated it even more when he thought about all the weight you’d lost just from the stress. Bruce knew it by the way his eyes darkened. 

But. 

They didn’t have much time to debate. Or consider what you might like to eat when you got home. The door swung open and the sound of your bag hitting the floor brought them both to their feet quickly. 

“Holy shit,” you murmur, rolling your neck to stretch it out and limping slightly as you walk through the narrow breeze way.

You blink in surprise at seeing them both in the kitchen and your face relaxes into a tired smile, “I hope you haven’t been up all night waiting for me.”

Thor shook his head, a little alarmed when you wavered on your feet, “Of course not, my love. Only until we knew you were safe somewhere for the night.”

You nod and stifle a yawn with difficulty, catching yourself on the back of a chair, everything going black at the edges breifly, giving you the tunnel vision you’d gotten all too used to in the past weeks. “I think-”

But that’s all you manage to get out, before you crumple. Like a wad of paper into the arms of the nearest man.

Bruce would tell you later, he was thankful Thor had the presence of mind to toedge closer to you. Pointing out that, if he had tried to catch you, it probably would have resulted in Bruce spraining something and Thor having to carry both of you to bed. But that in the moment, the heart rending picture of him having to carry your exhausted, overworked body just made him go a little green around the irises. 

It took both men to get you into your pajamas and tucked into bed. When you were awake, you fussed at them. Protesting that you were fine around being told to take drinks of water and Bruce taking vitals while he decided whether or not you needed medical attention or just some rest. 

Ultimately, as you curled in their arms, slipping into fitful sleep, Bruce decided that the stress of waking up in unfamiliar surroundings might be more detrimental. Particularly if you woke up alone. In a bed that was too small and narrow for them to join you in. 

And Thor deferred to Bruce. 

“My brave little Valkyrie,” Thor hummed, tutting softly. “Though she is but little, she is fierce. Let her sleep. For when she wakes, she will move mountains.”

Bruce chuckled, “Shakespeare?”

“Can you think of any other words to describe such a woman?” Thor said grinning. 

“No,” Bruce admitted, Kissing the demi god’s chin and tucking a blanket closer to you. “But-”

“I know,” Thor soothed, “Even steel can break… She needs to rest. Properly.”

“I’m going to talk to Tony again… I know she doesn’t WANT to work for SHEILD. Or Stark. And I know she doesn’t WANT to use her powers for those people… Not in any capacity they want but… She’s one woman. And it’s not like the not for profits are treating her any better.”

Thor sighed, looking apprehensive, “But-”

“I know,” Bruce grumbled, “We should respect her wishes but… Thor. What will she do if HYDRA catches up with her? In a dark Alley. With no way to call us. They could make off with her and we’d never-”

Thor kissed him quiet gently. They had had that argument. Amongst themselves and with you. Many times. You liked to hide in plain sight. And, You had pointed out to them, many times that Bruce eluded Hydra on his own for many years. And that his particular ability was much more likely to be of interest. 

“We’ll try again when she wakes. AFTER,” he said scowling, “We get a decent meal into her. I don’t like those cookie things she keeps in her car.”

“Granola bars,” Bruce corrected automatically.

“Whatever. They’re not food,” Thor groused. 

“After she eats,” Bruce said placatingly. “After we all have a nice lunch… Or dinner.”

[sooibian]

Freed

image from Pinterest, edited by me

Pairing: Baekhyun x Fem!Reader

A/N: Dedicated to smol bby @vampwrrr ’s magnificent mistresspiece Sweet Lies

Inspired by: I’m sorry about the blood in your mouth, I wish it was mine - Richard Siken +

Truly amazing, what people can get used to, as long as there are a few compensations - Margaret Atwood

Description: A headcanon exploring SL OC’s thoughts after Baekhyun’s confession.

Genre/Warnings: Dark themes, destructive thoughts, Ambiguous AU

Word count: ~ 1.3k

Mollycoddling a murderer.

This isn’t how you thought you’d react. Not in your wildest dreams. In your wildest dreams, you’d probably strike him with a vase or a glass bottle like they do in the movies: out of horror or hurt or both. His head was supposed to be on the floor, completely drained off of blood, not solaced in the comfort of your lap.

This isn’t how you were raised to react. It went against everything you ever believed to be true - the bits and pieces that made you you. The rationalization of the black and white and the in-between. But you know now that the in-between isn’t what they say it is. The in-between isn’t grey. It’s technicolour. It’s the red of passion, the blue of stability, the yellow of happiness. 

They say it’s grey because they’re so terrified of their own sentiments - resisting them so vehemently. Desensitizing themselves to being almost human. 

Perhaps they’ve never been in a love this…grave. Grave. You swish the word in your mouth like an ice cube, the insides of your cheeks feeling unpleasantly cold. Grave. Like it’s going to be the death of you. 

This love. 

You thought you had a choice in the matter. Whatever it may be, you always had a choice. The sheer ridiculousness of this thought makes you chuckle - your yeses and noes never mattered. You’ve been nothing more than a dry leaf caught in the wind. Drifting. Dancing to the whims of the air current. 

Decisions, decisions. 

So much wasted time on the events you had no control over: it had been one giant, extensive freefall. The happiness, the suffering. It was all beyond you. You weren’t required to piece the puzzle, only make sense of it. 

Or not. 

Baekhyun’s asleep, his breathing is levelled. Scarily soft. This is the calm after the storm. He’s come clean. Is this supposed to purge him of his sins?

Questions. So many questions. 

Is he worthy of your trust? But, do you still hold him accountable for it? Accountable for his own actions? Maybe. Accountable for you? Questions…questions…

Dangling, devoid of control, perhaps to him you were a puppet. A plaything. Maybe his favourite plaything. Yet, just that. But does this negate his feelings? Even if it was all just an act: to lure you in, to keep you forever. Doesn’t mean it was untrue. It couldn’t have been. Not all of it.

There’s a gossamer-thin line between surreal and untrue.

You’ve always wondered, much to your detriment, if you were ever worthy of his love. Would you be able to carry the weight of this question or sink underneath it. But this question still stands: very valid in its own right. It often sprouts prickly seeds of negativity in your heart and mind. So you shove down the deepest darkest corner of your subconscious: hacking it off every time it rears its ugly head. 

So, are you worthy? Have you ever been worthy? For a moment, even?

Baekhyun is the embodiment of for better, for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish…

‘til death do us part. 

Maybe he’d be better qualified to gauge your worthiness. Maybe he’d even think of it as futile. Maybe none of this ever mattered to him for as long as you’d let him love you.

Truly amazing, what people can get used to, as long as there are a few compensations.

….as long as you’d let him love you. You find a juvenile sense of comfort in this idea of having some semblance of control.

So, what now? You think, stroking his pretty little head that holds secrets so profoundly tragic. How does this earthen vessel, entirely made up of milk and honey and one trauma, not disintegrate by the sheer impact of its choices?

Would anybody actually believe this? Your ever so sweet and puppy-like Baekhyun was actually capable of acts this despicable? Your saviour was also a destroyer because of the one heinous thing he witnessed. The one thing that so terribly skewed the chemical balance of his brilliant brain. But aren’t we all bent out of shape? In our own way? Who’s to be the judge of these imbalances? How much is too much? At what point do the scales tip?

If you were to turn him in, who’s to say he’d come out a changed man?

If they ever let him out, that is.

He’s not the absolute worst of the lot. He’s not a wife-beater, a cheater, or a rapist. Maybe you’re rationalizing. But some would even argue that The Reaper is actually scrubbing the earth off its scum. Is this supposed to make him a hero? 

He’s no hero, he’s no vigilante.

He’s your husband.

Who’s loved you unequivocally, albeit in his own twisted way. He is your husband. And you are going to protect him. You’re not going to turn him in. You’re not losing the one person that’s loved you this catastrophically. 

It all boils to one question.

“Baekhyun? Sweetheart?”

You’re as gentle as you’d be with a newborn. But he awakens with a shudder and sits across from you: hunched, cross legged, hair disheveled, eyes bloodshot, brows pinched together, lips protruding in a pout. The seam of your trousers had imprinted a reddish dent across his right cheek.

“It’s alright, puppy. It’s alright”, the tips of your fingers tenderly travel the stretch of his face: relearning, tracing his eyelashes, the curve of his lips, his jaw, his cute little nose.

“Little doe, don’t leave”, he pulls away and begins to cry, sobs muffled as he presses his face into his hands. 

“I’m here, Baekhyunie. I’m here”, you grip his wrist, tugging, urging him to look at you.

“Always?” 

His gaze shoots up to meet yours. Steady. Challenging.

“Baekhyun…”

“Always?” 

Testing.

“Baekhyun, please…”

“Sorry, I’m sorry…I’m not right for you..I never have been. You deserve better, you deserve more! If you want to leave, I understand…”

Your skin is raw, it’s sensitive. Like you’re reborn out of red hot flames. Pure. Clean. Carrying no cuts and bruises of the past. Maybe this is what it feels like.

Being in control.

Finally.

“Baekhyun, can you stop?”

His eyes bore into yours, journeying the bottomless pit of your soul. You catch his molten chocolate irises darken in a flash. Jaw clenched, hands hardened into fists, he rasps through gritted teeth -

“No.”

You take his fists and bring them up to your lips, peppering them with soft kisses, soothing them open. Then, the tips of his fingers. Slow, deliberate pecks. His eyes, although calculating and unsure, soften again, lips ease into a mellow smile. 

You make your way into his lap, cup his face, his lips barely an inch from yours. The nearly domineering grip of his arms around your waist steadying you. Inside and out.

He’s truly a work of art. Deeply unsettling, thought-provoking. An enigma. The pain that runs so deep in his blood, you wish to tear it away from him. However ruinous it may end up being. For him. 

For you.

You run your thumb across his lower lip, his eyes flutter shut almost involuntarily at the contact. Blood rushes to your head as your lips crash into his and a breath escapes him in a throaty groan. 

He tastes like iron. 

Leisurely at first, he’s quick to match your fervour then just like that, he outpaces you, leaving you gasping for each breath. His fingers dig deep into the skin of your back. Craving, yet carrying the potential to crush your bones to dust.

You’d let him. 

A/N: Thank you @changshapatrol​ and @vampwrrr​ for being my friends *pouts* i love you both very much 💕

[sir-yeehaw-paws]

mirei for the character asks pwease OwO

Hello There!

Character Asks

Park Mirei

My favorite thing about them

Mirei and I exist on completely opposite ends of the personality spectrum and I know damned well I’d be absolutely terrified of her. That being said I do admire her strength. Would I be avoiding her at all costs because I’m a wuss? Absolutely. Do I admire her ability to corral groups, people etc the way she UN-apologetically does? Absolutely.

My least favorite thing about them

I disagree with her take on a lot of things. I don’t believe Mirei is evil, but I can’t agree with telling young people that their value is directly tied to how they appeal to a certain audience and she has a level of coldness to her I don’t relate to. However, I do believe that for the (horrible) industry she is working in, what she tells Haruka IS absolutely, 100% true for the ‘fantasy zone’ that idols are hard coded and deliberately crafted to create. What Mirei says is probably what Katsuya, and everyone around would say too.

It’s (relatively) well known these days how damaging, and detrimental the idol industry is and can be, and I think yakuza 5 is fairly on the nose with how it is represented.

I don’t agree with it, and I don’t agree with how Mirei views the world, but this does not mean I outright dislike her. I just don’t think we’d see eye-to-eye on much anything.

My favorite canon relationship

I think she and Haruka did have potential, had they met in different circumstances and Haruka hadn’t been brought into being an idol. Say they could communicate in Okinawa? Haruka having someone to talk to, someone who had a life within the yakuza before and could relate to Haruka in ways that a lot of people couldn’t, without having to remove Haruka from Okinawa and her family would have been something good for her.

Now granted that’d require a lot of different storytelling directions, and I don’t even know how they’d pull that off..but if it had happened somehow, maybe it would’ve been a little brighter.

My favorite non-canon relationship

The idea that she has someone-literally anyone, to confide it. Her life feels like a fortified, very lonely glass palace. Some of this is her own making, some is circumstance. It feels very depressing to me.

The sexuality I headcanon for them

N/A. She’s written as straight but..I’m highly tempted to feel like she’s completely shut herself away from relationships entirely. To the point where I find it hard to even speculate on how she might see her sexuality or otherwise.

What I’d do if I could spend the day with them

I’d be taking a note from Horie’s book and avoiding her at all costs because I know she’d be the kind of boss that would terrify me.

Random fact about them I like

I know she can sing-and I’m pretty sure her seiyuu can too. Sometimes I wish we got to hear her sing even once-maybe karaoke?

Thank you for sending in!

[concussed-to-pieces]

To Tell You The Truth Part Seven

Fandom: Prospect [2018]

Pairing: Eventual Ezra/Prospector!Reader

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: *checks watch* Well well well, look at the time! Friday already?! I hope you're all doing well, and I hope you all like this installment. Enjoy!

Tag List: @huliabitch @renegademustelid @wrestlingfae @zombiexbody @sporadic-fics @rzrcrst @lackofhonor @the-feckless-wonder @arrowswithwifi @fioccodineveautunnale @absurdthirst @cryptkeepersoul @fleetwoodmactshirt @88dragon06 @roxypeanut @walkerchick007 @peggers-n-beggers @robbinholland

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

[!TRIGGER WARNING!: This installment deals briefly with perceived self-worth, and contains certain dialogue/terminology/viewpoints that may be detrimental to individuals who have suffered emotional, sexual, or physical abuse. Stay safe!]

Acquiring a first edition of anything in this day and age had never been a simple task, so it was awe-inspiring to have a book that was not only a first edition, but one that your artwork graced the pages of.

You stared at the cover for longer than you meant to, your fingers rubbing over the embossed name that sat small and unassuming beneath Ezra's lavishly showy pseudonym. With illustrations by…

You almost felt like your ordinary moniker was out of place, but after looking at it for a moment, you decided it was exactly where it belonged.

"I am about to be overcome with emotion." Ezra informed Thomas in a hushed tone. 

The publisher heaved a heavy sigh at the other man's antics before getting to his feet, his hand outstretched. A small smile played over his mouth, probably one of relief to finally be free of your companion. "You've done it. Congratulations. It debuts on the digital platforms tomorrow, and physical copies ship next week." 

Ezra shook his hand rapidly, then turned to you. "I...I am rendered speechless." He whispered.

"I don't know if anything could claim that lofty honor." You couldn't resist teasing him and he grinned broadly. 

He rested his forehead against your own momentarily, ever cautious not to crowd you. "I am truly a better man for having known you, gentle soul." He murmured fervently. He took your hands, the book clasped tightly between the two of you. "These hands that have helped me in the mornings, that have drawn the man I could have been, that have delivered me from my deadly trials...now, see the fruits of your labor."

"Pretty sure you mean your labor." You corrected him. "I had the easy job."

Ezra shook his head. "Our labor." He was looking at you so warmly, his brown eyes crinkled at the edges from how hard he was smiling-

Kevva help you, did you want to...kiss him?

You had no time to ruminate on the sudden thought. Mr. Anglio cleared his throat and the spell was broken, Ezra exclaiming in juvenile delight that this was cause for celebration.  

You nodded absently, feeling off-kilter. It was as though a switch of comprehension had been flipped in your mind. You did want to kiss him.

…

You wanted a lot of things, you were quickly realizing. 

You wanted to sketch every sleepy smile Ezra graced you with over his mug in the morning. You wanted to be the only one to make his tea just right. You wanted to sit with him for hours in the kitchen or living room, letting him bounce ideas off of you.

The two helmets perched on the mantelpiece taunted you every time you glanced at them because you wanted to be part of a pair, more than a simple partner or roommate.

And it was terrifying. 

You started searching for your own apartment even though the idea of living alone filled you with trepidation. He had said you were welcome for as long as you wanted, but now...the situation had changed. You couldn't handle living in such close proximity to him if your brain was hellbent on doing things like this. 

It wasn't fair to him for you to want something like...that. For you to want anything at all from him.

You were ashamed of the way you had to tear your eyes off of him. You felt like an intruder, a thief, a scavenging floater hoping for opportune jetsam. You hid away in your room whenever he was around, claiming that inspiration had struck and fumbling to dissuade his childlike enthusiasm when he asked to see your 'new works'. Little did he know that you erased most of what you drew.

You were infatuated with an idea, in love with the picturesque plastic pornography that your mind had conjured, you told yourself sternly. Life wasn't perfect, and no one, let alone someone who had endured as much as Ezra, would be interested in the pitiful gift of your affection. In your own eyes you were dirty, your body forever stained with the invisible mark of abusive handling.

You didn't even know if you wanted to be intimate with someone again! Worse yet, you were uncertain if you would be able to, or if Damon's treatment had so utterly broken you that you would be reduced to nothingness if you ever deigned to attempt.

You should have been happy. The book (Aurelac And I: An Audacious Tale Of Greed In The Green) was performing remarkably well. Ezra had woven a lucrative story with just enough realism, fact and fiction carefully melded into a seamless narrative that appealed to everyone from grizzled floaters to cushy Central socialites. You should have been happy. You were set financially for the rest of your life even without the book. 

You should have been happy.

Yet all it took was him giving you a tousled, sleepy smile over his morning cup of coffee or tea and discontent fairly devoured you, turning your insides to knots. Your longing was sharp to the point of agony, an ever-present ache in your chest that you weren't certain any amount of distance would quell.

But you could try. 

So you prepared to leave, wavering between resolute and terrified while you tried to articulate yourself.

You had survived the Green. You knew you would survive this. 

…

Despite his predisposition towards prattling, Ezra was remarkably perceptive. You sometimes wondered if he used his rambling nature as a screen to observe reactions, instead of to actually carry on a legitimate conversation. 

He didn't miss a trick, coming to knock on your door one afternoon as you finished packing up your meager items. Even though you had lived in this room for several stands, you had yet to clutter the space, really make it your own. Maybe you had always suspected this would be temporary, maybe...maybe you knew better than to assume you would be anywhere for an extended period of time.

Fantasizing about having a real life with Ezra...wishful thinking, indulgence of the highest caliber. You blinked back your tears, shoved the backpack off the side of the bed, and went to open your door.

"Gentle soul, I have brought you sustenance! Now please, I beg, unlatch from the fickle teat of your creative muse to indulge with me." The former prospector implored from the doorway of your room, shaking a small paper bag at you. 

The scent of the sopaipillas in the bag hit your nose and you heard your stomach roar in reply. Ezra quirked a brow as you flushed. "Well, I guess a...a snack wouldn't hurt." You mumbled.

"I have greatly missed your company these past days." Ezra admitted softly after the two of you had posted up on the couch (you clutching your small sketchbook like a shield), his words clawing at your heart. "I feared you must be growin' weary of the burden of my presence."

You nearly choked to death right there, coughing and sputtering. "What? No, of course not! If anything, I'm surprised you're not tired of me!" You replied once you managed to swallow, guiltily thinking of the small knapsack that you had thrown into the space between your bed and the wall. Your plan was to leave a little later this evening, slip out while he was occupied with Serv A/V correspondence. He dedicated a certain amount of time in the early evening to managing his business affairs, currently working to iron a few more things out with Anglio regarding proprietary Serv-reader programs that wanted to port his tale. Hopefully by the time he realized you had left, you would be checked into your temporary quarters.

Ezra opened his mouth to answer you, but a chime at the door cut him off. "Did you order somethin'?" He asked, his face lighting up when you shook your head. "Ah, it must be something of mine then! How tantalizing, I keep forgetting what I've purchased. I love the surprise every time somethin' appears on the stoop." He grinned like a child, bouncing to his feet.

Stay happy for a little while longer, you found yourself begging silently. His smiles warmed you from the inside out and you knew that you would miss them immensely.

You watched as Ezra popped the door open, the man signing for the thick envelope while the courier hovered patiently. "I don't recall…" he trailed off, hip-checking the door closed and ripping the envelope lip with a puzzled expression on his face. 

"Who's it from?" You asked, trying to sound nonchalant. That's not supposed to get here until tomorrow, you reassured yourself. This must just be a coincidence. The envelope did bear a striking resemblance to the ones from your printer, but surely--

Oh no.

You felt your breath hitch as you spotted the return address. You had specifically requested that this delivery arrive tomorrow, you had planned to leave later tonight, oh no! You lunged to snatch the envelope from his hands. "Wait, wait, don't look!" You exclaimed sharply.

Ezra flinched in surprise at your abrupt change in volume, dropping the open envelope as his startled brown eyes flew to yours. Your hard copies spilled out onto the floor, pages flying here and there.

Shit.

"Gentle soul, what is...what is all this?" Ezra asked cautiously when you crouched to start picking the sheets up. "Are you workin' on a new project?"

Your hands trembled as you collected the sheets scattered on the floor at his feet. He knelt after a moment, but you knocked his arm away when he reached for a sheet. "I'm leaving." You whispered. "I made you this to...to try to explain." 

You pressed the stack of pages, now reorganized, into his limp hands. Ezra didn't even look down, his fingers automatically gripping the paper. "What?" His voice was hoarse.

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. "I said, I'm leaving. I made you this to explain." Please don't hate me.

"Gentle soul, I...surely we can engage in some civil discourse about this? Have I done something to vex you?" 

"No, it's not you."

"You'll forgive me if I am not reassured by your statement." He muttered. "I can think of no other reason that you would attempt a covert exodus like a beleaguered Israelite. Should I investigate the kitchen for unleavened bread?"

"I...what?" You asked in confusion. "Bread?"

Ezra groaned, shaking his head. "Never mind." He then asked bluntly, "why are you leaving?" 

You tapped the sheets in his hands, smiling tremulously. "Goodbye, Ezra." With that, you got to your feet and bolted to your bedroom, your face burning with embarrassment. You hated that you anticipated an explosion even after all this time; this was Ezra, not Damon. You picked up your pack and slid on your boots, then hesitantly crept back out.

Ezra was still on the floor. He hadn't moved an inch, just staring down at the pages in his hands. You skittered past him tentatively, but he didn't so much as glance in your direction. This was what you had decided, you reminded yourself while depositing your fob to the apartment on the table next to the door. You had chosen this route. All you could do now was stick to it. The door clicked closed behind you but instead of relief, you felt gut-wrenching sorrow.

Ezra,

It's time for me to leave. I've never been good with words. They always get tangled up inside me.

You popped open the door to the complex stairs in the hallway, sniffling quietly as you began making your way down.

I wish I could tell you in a way that I knew you would understand. I wish I could articulate like you, but all I can do is draw.

You checked the time on your battered watch. You hadn't invested in a new chronometer yet, the bulky square still serving its purpose even with a cracked screen. Perhaps you were too hesitant with your good fortune, you mused, but after having spent so many years carefully scraping and budgeting for every piece of gear, there was bound to be an adjustment period.

So here it is. Ramshackle and hackneyed; everything that you hate. It's got nothing to do with you, so please don't be upset. I just know that I shouldn't stay here any longer. 

Your mind's eye ran through your sketches over and over. Weary, worn-out boots. A leaking mug, broken and poorly repaired, pieces that would never fit back together properly. Your helmet, the dome cracked, overgrown in creeping, mossy green. Alone. 

You should be able to get on with your life. You don't need me hanging around.

You rubbed your temples. It was too early for check-in, but you were certain that the hotel wouldn't mind you sitting in the lobby for a few hours. 

You reached the ground floor without incident, emerging onto the street and weaving your way through the crowded sidewalks of Puggart Bench. Maybe you would go off-planet, get away from the crush of Central's runoff. But that might mean a pod…

You could easily buy your own ship, though you would have to hire a pilot. Perhaps you could get your pilot's license? You would already need one if you wanted to have ground transport options, instead of being subjected to the mercy of the Pug's PTS. Of course. There it was, a plan. This wouldn't be so difficult. You had survived on your own for most of your life! 

You squared your shoulders, scrubbing at your face in an effort to shore yourself up. Of course you could handle this. "I can do this." You said aloud, clenching your fists determinedly. "I have four hours until check-in. Tomorrow I have my appointment slated to look at living spaces, and I'll stop by the registry to sign up for the courses. Then, I can go to the grocery depot-" You continued ticking off your objectives, searching through your pockets for your analog sketchbook so you could write everything down. Where is-?

You thought you were imagining things for a moment when you heard Ezra's voice. "The gentry will think you've gone lunar if you keep rambling to yourself, gentle soul." 

He sounded slightly out of breath. You froze when a familiar hand tapped your most recent sketchbook against your arm. You must have left it on the couch. For a split-second, you debated on trying to lose him again in the thick crowd. 

But then, "Wait, please. Just...permit me a moment of your time." He begged. You sighed and obligingly struggled along crossways to the general flow of pedestrian motion, following him to the sheltered harbor of a nearby doorway.

Ezra shoved his hands into his pockets, looking incredibly rumpled. You folded your arms over your chest, barely resisting the urge to hug yourself nervously. "Look." You said quietly. "If you saw the thing I gave you, you know why I'm doing this."

"I understand the trajectory, but I am still in the dark when it comes to the catalyst." Ezra muttered. "What brought you to such a conclusion? What scurrilous thoughts have flourished, propagated, conspired to usher you onto the path of solitude that you are so determined to float without me?"

I love you. I love you. I love you and I'm scared-

"I think I love you, okay?!" You exploded, flinging the words heedlessly as you finally dared to actually look at him. "I love you and I...Ezra, I'm-" Your lower lip began to quiver while you came to terms with what you had just done, your sentence drying up and your face flushing with shame. "I'm…"

"You're what?" He encouraged you softly, his eyes impossibly, infuriatingly kind. 

"Scared." You managed to get out, a raw hiccup catching in your chest. 

"Why?" You gestured vaguely up and down at your body, giving him a helpless little shrug. Ezra shook his head. "Attempt again. I want to hear what you have to say, but you must speak."

"I'm not...I'm...Ezra, I'm just-" Your voice dropped to a defeated whisper, tears beginning to roll down your face. "I'm broken."

"By whose definition?" He asked sharply, his visible bristling causing a spike of gratitude to nourish the flame in your stomach. "Who has planted these thoughts in your head? Because they are a bold-faced liar."

"I don't expect you to understand-"

"Oh certainly!" He interrupted you in that ferociously cheery tone, "Why would I, a simple floater that has been crushed under the monstrous heft of the Great Chain time and again, understand what it's like to feel worthless or used? Better yet, abandoned."

"It's different for me!" You cried, hating how pitiful your voice sounded. "You deserve--you deserve everything and I'm so...I'm dirty, I'm wrong and-"

"How the hell can you say things like that about yourself?" Ezra's large hands framed your face gently, his thumbs brushing away your tears. "How can you spout such untruths about the woman I love?" He murmured tenderly.

The woman I love. The woman I love. The woman I love.

You stared up at him, certain that your mouth was agape. "You speak of deserving with no regard for how little I deserve you, gentle soul. It wounds me that you think so low of yourself." Ezra breathed, his eyes flicking back and forth between your own. "All I can think about when I look at you is how much I do not deserve...any of this. The stability, the contentment. I am akin to a somnolent cat on a warm windowsill, gentle soul." His expression grew pained, clouded with thought. "My life has not been an easy one, perennially by the fault of my own hand. I did not anticipate such...fortuitously serendipitous circumstances, wherein I would be confronted with the task of engaging in mutual lodgin' strictly for the sake of enjoyment of another's company, you must understand."

"I uh." You swallowed, "I probably will once I figure out what you said, give me a minu-"

"Let me translate into the layman's vernacular then. To spare you the...intellectual toil." Ezra sucked in a ragged breath. "I would appreciate you giving me the honor of er, being able to pursue a relationship with you. I would like to kiss you. I would like to kiss...as much of you as I can. I would like to touch you, wherever and whenever you'll permit. I would like to know you...i-intimately."

His awkward little stammer at the end set you off, helpless laughter bubbling up in your chest. "Ezra-!" You sputtered, clinging to his hand.

"What?" He protested. "I am a loquacious fool, gentle soul! Simplicity undoes me, as sure as your tenderness undoes me! I am at a loss." He pressed his forehead to your own. "I beg of you, don't leave. Not yet. At least allow me to attempt to...to offer you something. Anything. Permit me to prove you wrong."

"I don't know if you can." You murmured sadly. 

"You have saved me time and again, gentle soul." Ezra reasoned. "With your permission, with your consent, I...martyr's malfeasance, let me help." His voice broke. "You nearly died, I nearly lost you in that Green Purgatory. I do not approach this task lightly, please understand. You are immensely precious to me, and I...I am afraid I am being too verbose once more."

You reached out to run your fingers through the blond patch on his temple, then checked your watch with a put-upon sigh. "Well, if we hurry home, I can cancel my reservations before they charge me." 

"Home?" He echoed hopefully, his eyes brightening as he nudged his head against your palm.

"Yeah." You nodded, allowing a little smile to curve your lips. "Home."

…

"I haven't done anything for months, so I…" you trailed off nervously, your hands clasped in your lap. "I don't know whether I even can anymore, you know?" You admitted.

Ezra nodded from his spot by the mantle, circling around behind the couch as he spoke. "I will not rush you, gentle soul. We focus solely on encouraging your relaxation." Your hands dropped to unbutton your shirt and a hand lightly tapping your wrist halted your motion. "Be still." He murmured. "You are safe here. Disrobing is not even on the itinerary for this week."

"The itiner…tell me you have a weird little chart somewhere." You snickered, faltering when his large palms pressed down on your shoulders and eased you back against the couch.  

"It is not little, I assure you." Ezra's thumbs slid over the back of your neck. "Rehabilitation is no laughing matter. I will speak throughout so you know that it is me here. If you wish to close your eyes, please do. If you wish for me to stop, simply raise your hand."

"Wh-What are you going to do?" You queried warily.

"Rub your shoulders." 

You blinked, confused but immensely relieved. You had thought… "You don't want to...y'know?"

"Gentle soul, never doubt my want." Ezra muttered darkly. "The quest for knowledge is one of eternal restraint, prudent temperance and mute burden." You hummed, not entirely sure what he meant by that. His palms were calloused and warm even through the fabric of your shirt, large fingers spread on your shoulders. Strong thumbs carefully worked into the nape of your neck, alternating in circles back and forth, back and forth. "What shall I speak of, gentle soul?"

"Hmm?" You were so focused on his hands you hadn't really heard his question. Ezra chuckled and repeated himself. "Oh! Um, I...well, whatever you can think of. I like hearing you talk. You could probably read the ingredients on a ration bar and I'd be invested."

Ezra sputtered, trying to muffle his laugh with his shoulder. "There's only so many ways I can expound upon such gripping topics as monosodium glutamate before it lapses into tedium, gentle soul." He hummed low in his throat, then opened with, "On a most divinely appointed day, when our beloved Screamer had been taken by tempestuous winds and scorching rains, I found myself as William Bligh."

"Oh, I love this one." You grinned, settling against the couch. "Favorite story, hands down."

"The increase of your inclination towards bias when I am involved is duly noted and immensely appreciated, gentle soul." You could hear his smile, picturing it in your head with ease. The way his eyes crinkled at the sides, his brows pitching slightly. "By the grace of Kevva I was tossed upon the mercies of fickle men who would not hesitate to slit my throat to save their own…"

...

The shoulder rubbing became a bi-nightly engagement. Ezra would recite a chapter from Aurelac And I, occasionally adding little bits in for flair as he went. Tonight was one such night, "She swaggered into the tent, braggadocious and bold, her hair immaculately coiffed under the dome of her helmet and it was then I knew my demise was encroach-"

"You are ridiculous, I am so far from braggadocious!" You interrupted him to protest. "And no one's hair ever looks good in those helmets. Plus, I was one hundred percent not in your book, thank Kevva."

"I confess I toyed with the idea of writing you in, but you struck me as an individual so fiercely private...I did not wish to remove you from such delectable obscurity." The man teased. "Aside from your name on the cover, naturally."

"I can't believe you wrote it so that you lost an arm-"

"How many times must I remind you that the protagonist of this tale is not myself? He is a man of unwavering moral fiber." Ezra groused. "A man of dubious, shaded past and impeccable integrity. Ambidextrous as well. Nothing like myself in the least."

You make me wish I was a reputable individual.

"Hey, Ezra." You craned your neck to look at him, his palm sliding to cup your ear automatically. "Can I do this for you instead?"

"Do what?" He asked blankly. 

"The whole relaxation thing. Like what you're doing for me, you know?" You extended your hands. "Can I do it for you tonight?"

"That's...it's not necessary, gentle soul, you don't-"

"I want to. Please?"

Ezra grimaced reluctantly, running a hand through his hair. "Well, if you are certain." You nodded enthusiastically and he sighed, slowly settling down on the couch as you climbed off of it. "I am unsure if I am quite so receptive to this particular tech-" His words hitched mid-sentence as your fingers slid up into the trimmed hair at the nape of his neck. "-nique." Ezra squeaked. "Going in for the kill so quickly, gentle soul? I at least gave you the fair play of two nights before my digits even grazed your h-air-"

You laughed quietly, fingers raking through his short hair with something very close to greed. He tilted his head to follow the motion of your pulls, humming low in his throat. You contentedly basked in the feeling of his body under your hands, even for something as mundane as rubbing his shoulders or finger-combing his hair. "Ezra, you're so tense." you murmured.

"You cannot fault me." Ezra protested. "I have a lifetime of prospectin' that these shoulders have borne the burden of without complaint. It's a miracle I can still move, the foolhardy things I've done…" He flexed his right hand idly. "A miracle, facilitated in no small part by yourself."

Like always, you found yourself flushing at his praise. You bit your lip, a little hesitant to ask the question that had been plaguing you since that particular stormy night. You had your suspicions, of course, but you really wanted to hear it from his mouth. "So I don't know if you remember this, you were kind of half-asleep when you did it. You recited a poem to me and it started out something like…'you come to me in my dreams'." 

"Ah, hmm." Ezra coughed awkwardly. "Dare I ask why you enquire?"

You drummed your fingertips on his shoulders, then slipped your hands down to cradle his throat. Your fingers laced together just over his Adam's apple, pinkies resting on his exposed collarbone. "I was just wondering, what's the full version of it?" 

You felt him swallow convulsively. "I'm afraid I have not finished that one yet." He admitted softly.

"You wrote that?" 

Ezra nodded, chuckling, "Is that so difficult to believe?"

"Well uh, no, not really. I just...I guess I never thought about you writing anything else aside from the floater's rendition of Blood And Swash." You hummed as he laughed again, then asked, "What's it about?"

"It is poetry, gentle soul. It doesn't necessarily have to be about anything." He retorted a little too quickly. 

You gasped softly. "Is it about me?" 

Ezra froze. "What? No! As if written word alone would be enough to extol your virtues!" He snapped indignantly.

"It is about me!" You crowed triumphantly, the fire in your stomach blazing bright.

"Hush yourself, you contemptuously smug thing." The brown-haired man grumbled. 

"You're writing poetry about me!"

"I can do little else!" He exclaimed in exasperation, pinning your hands in place on his chest. "You demand it. You are poetry without a page, gentle soul. I have a responsibility to mankind itself, t-to document...such beauty must be preserved, lest it fade to the marches of featureless time." Ezra proclaimed staunchly, staring straight ahead. "And truly, what a disservice that would be."

You blinked down at the top of his head, tears gathering at the edges of your lashes. At your sniffling, Ezra half-turned to look up at you.

"Gentle soul?" He asked uncertainly. You shook your head, fumbling back over the couch to essentially tuck yourself into his lap. Ezra, to his credit, adjusted remarkably well to your sudden craving for closeness. His arms wrapped around you, his chin resting on the top of your head as you hid your face in his chest. 

"I'm sorry." You apologized thickly after a while, certain that he couldn't be comfortable.

Ezra grunted, adjusting his posture beneath you into something that resembled a dignified slouch. "In my dreams you come to me, as timid and inexorable as the dawn." He muttered the words rapidly, rushing through the memorized lines. "In my sleepless hours you find me, tremulous and waning like the starlight. For I am a lost man who wanders bright and dark, all for the fleeting glimpse of youuuu-" He groaned the last word. "And there it stops. My brain, for all its magnanimous, expansive lexicon, falls utterly flat." His hands stroked over your head, fingers carding through your hair. 

"Maybe it is done?" You suggested timidly.

He scoffed. "No, I just...I have to come across the right turn of phrase. The whole thing is trite enough as it is. Hopelessly lovestruck. Never thought I would be the type. Truly, a horrendous conundrum." He lamented, his voice soft. He didn't appear overly distraught about the aforementioned horrendous conundrum.

"Is it making you feel querulous?" You jibed.

Ezra laughed ruefully, his eyes warm as he smiled. "It very well might be, gentle soul!"

"All for the fleeting glimpse of you, all for the…" You paused, your gaze falling to his lips. "A-All for the touch of your mouth on mine?" 

Ezra ran a hand through his hair, seeming a bit flustered as he tried to avoid your gaze. "We have not even-" 

"But we could." You whispered. 

"Could we?" He asked, his voice low. "Should we?" You cupped his jaw, your thumbs rubbing over the unruly stubble he permitted to grow there. "Do you wish to?" 

You nodded, smiling. "I do."

"Strictly to further research, naturally. To...facilitate my Byronic breakthrough." Ezra reasoned, his voice drawling lazily. You shook your head and his brows furrowed, drawing tight at the peak of his nose. "No?"

"Because I want to." You confessed shyly. 

Ezra cleared his throat, hoarsely rasping a single word. "Temperance."

"What?"

"Don't trouble yourself. I'm merely makin' a note of what to petition the saints for later tonight." A hand rested on the back of your neck, coaxing you in. His mouth was gentle on yours, tentative; lips moving with equal amounts of caution and curiosity. His mustache sent unfamiliar sensations racing across your skin, somehow coarse and soft all at once. You closed your eyes, whimpering quietly as you clung to his shoulders. "I must admit," he gasped into your mouth, "this is hardly conducive to my--"

"Shh," you hushed him, smiling when he chuckled. You bumped your forehead against his, nuzzling your temple over his Mallen streak. "Thank you."

"I believe that is my next line, gentle soul." He teased. "All for the touch of your mouth on mine. What a deliciously trite stanza." His brown eyes searched your own. "I am lost in impassioned rumination over it." He murmured, drawing you back for another kiss.

Part Eight

[itshesdimples]

-Hello to anyone reading. This is my first time writing something and putting it out for the world to see. That being said, I would love any constructive criticism you have to give me. Thank you for any support you may give me, I cant thank you enough xoxo ~H - 

I remember the day as if it were yesterday; the day you crossed the unimaginable line. 

I thought we had everything, I thought I was your everything. 

2 MONTHS AGO

"Hey sunshine, just calling to let you know I wont be able to make it home this time. I'm sorry, the label has me doing something that I'm not sure is a good idea but they say it will help me in the long run." He sighs at the end, I imagine him palming his forehead.

"Look, I need you to listen to me when I tell you that you are everything to me, you make me want to become the best version of myself. During the months we have been together I have seen the best and worst side of you and I'm not running, promise. I want you to be mine forever, do you hear me? Just remember that." Harry expelled.

You were a little worried, seeing as you two had been together for a little over nine months and it was extremely rewarding. The time apart has always been different to the other relationships she had been in the past but with Harry it seemed like more than she had ever received from the previous men. 

As a surgical intern you work countless hours and never really get more than a few hours to yourself, so when you met Harry you really never saw it going anywhere. You were just too happy for your own good, openly expressing your life to perfect strangers and expecting them all to be accepting of who you are.

* 9 MONTHS AGO* 

The hospital you worked at allotted 80 hours a work week and as hopeful as you may be feeling, there is a little voice in the back of your head telling you not to go bar hopping. "Just one drink and then water." you emphasize to your good friend Mike, the bartender. 

"Vodka soda coming right up, Dr. Demanding." He chuckles. You turn around in the chair and stare at all the fellow drunks, looking for your intern comrades who should be here by now. 

Although you dont find your friends, you spot a very handsome, familiar face coming toward you. Admiring the face across from you, you decide to take the first step following by the downing of your vodka soda. " You dont seem to be familiar with the very famous bar here in town so you must not be from around here," you tease, holding out your hand to shake. "I'm [Y/N]. Not to sound weird but have we met before?" You get a very bold feeling of deja vu but laugh it off. "I'm sorry, my friends are supposed to be here by now and I'm socially handicapped, sometimes I dont know when to stop talking." Now you're just rambling at the breathtaking man in front of you and feeling red in the cheeks. 

"Its alright love, I sometimes feel socially handicapped around exquisite women such as yourself. Actually, that sounded like you're one of hundreds but I-- what I meant to say was that, you seem a little lonely. Can I buy you a drink?" He rambles, tugging at his jacket. 

"I am only allowed one drink, I know it sounds weird but I'm on a ticking time bomb, you see this?" You pull out your pager, "any moment this thing will go off and I have to skip back to work like a dreamy little school girl but inside I am dying of starvation, need a beer and twenty hours sleep." You just keep spitting up word vomit and your face is permanently pink but you just cant stop because what if it gets quiet? Now that's when it gets awkward.

"I don't think we have ever met because I'd remember you" Harry confirms, looking you up and down your shapely body. "What do you do for a living that has you on such a tight leash?" Taking a sip of his beer, he stands up and walks next to the chair you're sitting in. 

"Surgical intern, Dr. [Y/L/N] at your service, sir." You cant help but crack a little bit of the tension you have building up in your stomach while talking to him but that doesn't stop you from staring him in the eyes and trying your best to flirt. 

The aura around him is too intoxicating, too much to handle without trying to add a little humor in the mix. "I like it when you call me sir, Dr. [Y/L/N] but how long have you been a doctor? I'd love to get to know you before you have to leave me." He articulates, trying to captivate her attention.

"I love my job but it has been a long winded road, it feels like years but I've only been a real doctor for a little over two months. It takes a lot out of me but that is why I'm glad I have two great friends who I can lean on. We keep each other afloat and they're also my roommates. I don't know where I would be without them." All of that poured out of my mouth before I had the chance to cork it but I couldn't help telling him something about myself that was at least surface level.

He just seems like an eerie case of the best illusion I've ever seen. I cant help but shake the feeling that I've known him all my life, like telling him the ins-and-outs of my life wouldn't be detrimental to my health. 

"Now tell me something about yourself. For starters maybe your name? I've never seen you here before and I'm here all the time so I'm pretty good at knowing who is an out of towner, and I don't know how much time I have left." You're trying to get to know him and that is so unlike you. Having had boyfriends in the past, you were never the one asking the questions or wanting to get to know them more than a few dates and drinks. The longest relationship you have ever had was two months and you two went to high school together. 

"Hi I'm Harry, and I don't know how much longer I get to sit next to you so please can I have your number, sunshine? I would love to take you for dinner sometime soon." Harry is going out on a whim asking for your phone number but keeps going, "From what I have gathered you are a very busy woman and I admire that, love it even. I know this sounds crazy but I feel like I know you already and I have never felt that with another person so please give me a chance, I will work around your schedule. I dont care what it--" he is stopped when your pager goes off as an emergent patient being admitted, all hands on deck you assume. 

"Sunshine, huh? I like it." You wink at him and ask Mike for a pen so you can scrawl your number on a napkin and thank Harry for a very pleasant chat. It was good to know that he felt for you, as you did him after just meeting the man, and his nickname for you was adorable. 

For the next two weekends you spent getting to know Harry on a personal note. He told you he loved writing music, performing and was already an amazing talent. Harry showed you his latest music and you wondered how you hadn't connected the dots sooner. You knew he was a very private person, as he told you on your first date. 

(FLASHBACK)

"I'd love to get to know your friends, and see what kind of person you are. I can't wait to know you but I just want you to know that I can't have a lot of people knowing what is going on in my personal life." He sighs, you two sat down at dinner and he couldn't help but spit out what he wanted to tell you when you first met. "I don't want to sound pretentious or come off as someone who cares about his appearance to others but I have to tell you that I make music for a living and have quite the lot of fans. Screaming fans to be exact, " he chortles, asking the waiter for a bottle of wine to start off, "but I can't help but love them all. They made my career but I have to remain a private person. I adore my fans but they are very protective and I don't want our relationship to struggle because of a few of them saying unkind things." He grabs your hand and looks you in the eyes, trying to make you understand the reason for privacy.

"I've never met anyone like you Harry and I meet a lot of people on the regular. You have this way about you that draws me in and I want to get to know you. If that means that I cannot post my gushing about you on social media, so be it. I really like you and would like to know who you are." You declare, hoping he understands that he as a person means more than everyone understanding her lifestyle choices. 

(END OF FLASHBACK) 

Tonight was the night you knew you wanted to understand him on an even more personal level. You knew that the way you felt for him wasn't a normal crush, wasn't even a normal type of love. You knew he had the power to hurt you if he wished to do so but that was so far in the back of your mind. He meant so much to you already that it didn't matter you two were keeping your relationship a secret from most of the world, apart from a select few. It was the best date of them all, Harry cooked you and your best friends dinner so when you got off work, dinner was on the table. He was always so thoughtful of your needs and you thought it was the time to prioritize his.

"Take me to bed Harry." You whimper, "I want you." 

*7 MONTHS LATER* 

Things were hectic in your life but that was the way they always were but now it seemed like days stretched past 24 hours and turned into a marathon sprint that never ended. 

The day Harry unmistakably broke you was the day that sleep had everything on you. Going for days on end was something you were accustomed to but after he cut you deeper than you could ever be, sleep seemed to be your only friend. 

You thought you knew him better than anyone. He was your Harry, your everything, even your person maybe? 

But when his decision to take his career to the next step interfered in your relationship, your life; that was the day to call it quits no matter the devastation. He may have been your soulmate but maybe, just maybe it wasn't right. The timing, the place of it all was just too much. Your life just didn't have room for much else, especially someone who was willing to hurt you unimaginably and not walk away in order to lessen the blow. 

*2 WEEKS BEFORE THE INEVITABLE *

"Hey sunshine, just calling to let you know I wont be able to make it home this time. I'm sorry, the label has me doing something that I'm not sure is a good idea but they say it will help me in the long run." He sighs at the end, I imagine him palming his forehead.

"Look, I need you to listen to me when I tell you that you are everything to me, you make me want to become the best version of myself. During the months we have been together I have seen the best and worst side of you and I'm not running, promise. I want you to be mine forever, do you hear me? Just remember that." Harry expelled.

That was two hours ago and within those two hours you knew it was best to stay off your phone. You keep telling yourself to not look for anything leading you to clues about his voice mail. It wasn't like him to express his feelings over the phone, he was an in person 'declare-my-love-for-you' type of man so when you listened to it you thought it was best to stay off your phone. 

Trailing off to the shower in pursuit of getting to work, you hear your phone's inescapable shrill from your bedroom and decide to opt away from contact to that thing. 

As soon as you leave for work is when your heart stops, skips a few beats and then plummets into your stomach. 

"Harry Styles in a relationship with Camille Rowe? That is the best thing I have heard all week. The star tells us that they met months ago and kept it a secret in order to get to know each other. We cant wait for updates on their relationship. Now on to the juic--" That's all you can hear for the rest of the day, ringing in your mind like it is an announcement on the P.A. at work for all to hear. 

You knew that was the end of everything. Devastation didn't even hit the mark, it was like everything in the world was on fast forward and you were still trying to get through the commercials. Nothing made sense any more, the glass was no longer half full. It was completely drained and then smashed on the ground into a million little pieces. That was how her whole body felt, like it was just shattered on the ground, irreparable. 

The damage was done and there was nothing holding you back from wailing like a siren in front of all of the patients waiting for surgery, but your best friends always had your back. Making sure you eat during lunch and taking you to the bar at the end of your shift so you can drink the bottle dry. 

Just shy of a half hour sitting at the bar was when you were cut-off by Harry running into the bar rambling about how he thought they were spinning the tabloids another way. 

"I thought they were going to report that we just met and were already dating, I would have never let them ruin what we had by saying I knew her while you and I were together. I told them exactly what to say! I don't even know her, we just met." He jumbles his sentences trying to get hold of his clear message. 

You stand up from your seated position and start motioning for him to join you outside. Once out there, you decide what is best moving forward. 

"While we were together?" You scoff, trying to be as civil as can be under your obvious exhaustion, throwing your hands up in exasperation.

"At least you said something truthful in the last two minutes you decided to interrupt my break. Yes, you and I are no longer together. Honestly we should have never started something, our careers couldn't be more opposite and honestly I cannot afford to ruin my career over someone who wants to build his on lies. So thank you for what we had but from now on I would like to move forward, away from you." You keep talking in order to get your point across, hoping that when all is said and done there will be closure on both ends. 

You know that Harry does care for you but in these last twenty four hours you've learned is that maybe you can't have it all. Maybe happily-ever-afters are only for the imagination. 

Maybe life throws things at you so you can overcome them but there are times like these when she wonders what the message is supposed to be? 

Is there a message? 

That you can have one person in your life that should be your forever but just cant fit in there? 

"I know we never said it but I do love you, I think I always will but we can't make it fit. The time we spent together was great and I hope there is a lesson in there somewhere. I can only believe that closure is what we need now." She grabs on to his shoulder and goes in for a hug to end the conversation but he pulls back,"How could you think that we need closure? What we need is each other. I need you, in my life with me forever. You are always going to be the only one for me, I just know it." He grabs on to her and holds for dear life, hoping that he can convey her to stick it out for them both. 

"I know what I'm feeling is selfish because I never want to hurt you but my career is part of my life and I can't run away from who I am but I want you in my life, always. I will never stop loving you." Harry pulls away and looks in her eyes with tears in his," I cannot fathom a life without my sunshine. Maybe the timing is wrong but cant we make it right?" 

[Y/N] pulls away, trying to compose herself and make the most rational decision. She needs to think about her life and what she needs, not anyone else. "Harry Styles, while being with you was the best rollercoaster ride of my life, and if I could stay on forever I would do so; I have to get off. I need to pull away for the sake of my head and heart. Being with you makes me happy but when it interferes with my work, which is saving lives, I have to be on one hundred percent all the time. You have clouded my thoughts and judgement, and while being a star is part of who you are, being a doctor is me so I cannot give up who I am. Sometimes maybe love isn't enough?" By this point you can't hold back the sobs you have held in since you knew the inevitable truth and holding them back would be foolish, so you let them come. 

Harry tries to grab onto you with the little strength he has left from crying and lack of sleep. "I cannot let you get away. You are my everything! I canno--" he tries to catch his breath in between the racks of his heart," please, please do not leave me [Y/N]. We can make this work. I love you and that is enough, it is enough for me. Please." Harry whispers the last part, crouching in front of you and trying to hold you to him. 

"It isn't enough for the both of us Harry, and you know it." You're trying to hold back until you can be alone. All you want is to crawl in bed and become dead to the world because that's how you feel right about now. " I will always love you and maybe one day that love will be enough but right now I just don't see how that is possible Harry. I can't rationalize what is happening in our relationship and tell you that we will make it through it. The best thing to do is cut our ties before we start to resent each other." You take one last breath, looking at your friends inside the bar. You signal to them that you're leaving, and say the one thing that you know will hurt the most. 

"I can't try anymore to be with you so this is my goodbye. I wish you the best Harry, I really do." In the middle of all this you had a death grip on his hands but now is the time to walk away from one of the best things to happen to you. As gut wrenching as it is, the best thing for the both of them was to move on. Worry about the time in their career when it is at the peak so as hurtful as it is, she knows that she is doing what's best. 

You pull away from his grasp, looking down at him kneeling on the ground and kiss his forehead. "I love you." You whisper through tears. 

All you can hear behind you is wails of sirens, drunk people cheering on the football game inside but the one thing that is the loudest is Harry's cries. As soon as you walk away you break down into a blubbering mess. Your friends catch up after you, while looking at the mess you and Harry made behind. You can hear Harry's cries of desperation and the only thing your heart is telling you to do is 'go back, go back to him' but you know it's not logical. 

If it is meant to be you will make it work at a better time. Things will come together and make sense one day but not when her mind is a fuzzy mess. Maybe weeks, months or years later she will understand what it means to have love be enough. It has to mean something right? 

Good byes may hurt but sometimes they are unsurpassable. Sometimes they come barreling into your life totally unexpected and ruin something you thought could be forever. 

[sedonawritess]

Ask Game: A–Z of Character Vices and Virtues.

Nobody asked me to do this but I thought it would be good for character building so... here I go!

I’m gonna do this for both Fionn & Aoife but we are starting with:

FIONN

A. Annoying: What is your OC’s most annoying trait?

I like to think he’s a little self righteous! It’s not that he thinks everyone is below him but he has a very specific code that he lives by and when others don’t, he tends to feel superior. Obviously when he meets the pirates this is very clear since they’re... well... pirates!

B. Best: What is your OC’s best personality trait?

He’s kind. And I don’t mean like just nice. He’s genuinely kind and cares a lot about others. He’s very in tune with others feelings and wants to protect those he loves even at his own detriment.

C. Child: Your OC encounters a crying, lost child. How do they react?

He’s definitely the type of guy who would give the kid something to play with or to distract them (probably a ring or his necklace) while he tries to find their parents.

D. Desire: Your OC has the opportunity to get the thing they desire most, but it means betraying a friend. Do they do it?

No. This is the most loyal character out of my crew. He is someone who’d lay down his life for others and would never sacrifice anyone for his own gain. He’d rather sacrifice himself.

E. Excellent: Which of your OCs is the most virtuous?

It’s Fionn. He’s a good guy!

F. Forgive: How good is your OC at apologizing? Do they own up to it when they’ve made a mistake? How easily does your OC forgive other people?

I would say he’s not the verbal apology type of guy & so it depends on who you are as a person if you think he’s good at apologizing. He’s more likely to just correct his behavior or do something for you as an acknowledgment that he messed up. I don’t think he’s really someone who holds too much of a grudge so he forgives most things pretty easily.

G. Guilt: Does your OC often regret their decisions? If so, describe a decision they regret.

I think he regrets his decisions a lot less than others because he spends so much time thinking things through before acting. He’s not often wrong or doing things he regrets.

H. Honesty: How often does your OC lie? Do they believe lying is ever justified? Describe a time your OC told a lie, or told the truth even when it was difficult.

He’s not a liar unless he feels like he has to in order to protect the people he cares about. He’s more of a white lie type of guy. He doesn’t like liars but can understand the occasional need.

I. Individuality: Is your OC’s morality more influenced by the society they live in, or their own critical thinking?

It’s definitely more influenced by his society than say other characters but again he also has his own moral code that he follows very carefully.

J. Jealousy: How often does your OC get jealous of other people? Do they keep their jealousy in check, or does it influence their behavior?

I’d say he could be prone to some jealousy? He is pretty hard on himself about things + he’s an important person to his society and so I think he’s jealous of the freedom others have.

K. Knack: What is something your OC is skilled at?

Juggling. It’s something that he enjoys doing to pass the time.

L. Loathe: What qualities does your OC loathe in other people? Do they tend to be judgmental of others, even when it isn’t warranted?

Cruelty. He is not a fan of being cruel, especially just for the sake of it. He’s definitely a bit judgmental but he tries to get to know others before passing judgment.

M. Mistake: Describe a time your OC did something bad, or was wrong about something.

I can’t because.... spoilers.

N. Negative: What does your OC believe is their worst flaw?

His rigidity, he wishes he was more carefree and free spirited but he just isn’t.

O. Outlook: Is your OC more optimistic, pessimistic, or realistic? How likely are they to believe a bad person can change?

He’s more of a realist. I think he wants to be an optimist but finds that he gets hurt or disappointed a lot less if he’s more realistic. I think deep down he believes all people are inherently good, but there are some he believes are rotten from the inside out too.

P. Positive: What does your OC believe is their best personality trait?

His strength. I don’t mean his physical strength; but more the idea that he is resilient and mentally strong.

Q. Quirk: Does your OC have any (minor) bad habits? If so, what? (Biting their nails, sleeping in, procrastinating, etc.)

Nail biting, he’s bit them down to the quick. He does it more in times of stress and it’s not a good look.

R. Respect: What qualities does your OC admire in other people?

Boldness, bravery, compassion.

S. Success: Describe a time your OC did something good, or was right when others were wrong.

Spoilers......

T. Troubled: Which of your OCs is the most flawed?

Balor; I mean he is an evil demon king.

U. Upgrade: Does your OC strive for self-improvement, or are they less concerned about becoming a better person?

Always working on self improvement. Fionn always wants to be the best person he can be even if that means that he’s wrong sometimes.

V. Value: Is your OC more selfish or selfless? What would they sacrifice for a loved one? What would they sacrifice for a stranger?

Selfless, 100%. He would absolutely sacrifice anything, including his life for a loved one. I also think he’d do the same for strangers.

W. Worst: What is your OC’s worst flaw?

It goes hand in hand with the last question. His selflessness can get him into trouble. He sacrifices a lot for people and sometimes gets betrayed anyways.

X. X-ray: Does your OC believe that they’re a good person? Would you consider them a good person?

He considers himself a good person but he knows he could be better. I think he’s a VERY good person and I love him. He’s my baby.

Y. Young: How has your OC been influenced by their past? Are they a better person because of their past, or a worse one?

His past is his biggest influence. Without spoilers, makes him a better person.

Z. Zealous: Does your OC have any guilty pleasures? If so, what? (Watching reality TV, drinking soda, reading cheesy romance novels, etc.)

I don’t think he considers anything a guilty pleasure.

[curekibouka-writing]

Blissful Tomorrow Chapter 4 (Pandora Hearts fanfic) (Completed)

Summary: May you reach a blissful tomorrow as you open your eyes. For now, sweet dreams.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

*This fic is also on FF.net and Quotev

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: There is a character I created for the sake of this story. You'll get to know her as you progress through the final chapter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 4: Enough

The soft, hesitant pattering of small feet resounded in the empty corridors of the Rainsworth manor tonight. Vigilant, yet clearly overwhelmed with lethargy, it made its way to the master bedroom. 

“Mama...?” the ‘intruder’ peeped from the large wooden doors, “Papa...?” 

“My, what are you doing at this hour?” Sharon slipped a bookmark into the book she was reading and walked to the door, kneeling down for the young child, “Staying up late is detrimental to a lady’s health, Shelia.” 

The little girl sheepishly twittered with her 3-year-old lisp, “Can I sleep with you and papa tonight?” 

Sharon shot a glance at her husband, who had still been diligently engrossed in his reports before their daughter came by, as if to say “You decide.”

Reim smiled knowingly, promptly setting down his pen and approached his family. “Of course you can,” he scooped his daughter up, drawing a giggle from her, “We were going to turn in for the night soon anyways.” He turned to Sharon, “Are you finished reading that — ahem — climax, my dear?” 

Seeing the tips of her fingers fiddling with the corner of her harisen, he decided against speaking another word. 

“You’re the one to talk! Go on and finish up your report, you don’t like leaving them unfinished, no?” Sharon nudged him back to his table while taking Shelia from him, who echoed her mother, “That’s right, papa, you should finish your work first!”

Sharon placed Shelia on the king sized bed further into the room, “Settle. I’ll comb your hair.” 

After near-destruction of the world years ago, the Four Great Dukedoms were stripped of their political standing, but the country left a minuscule amount of their properties without confiscating them, most likely a token of gratitude for secrets that were not meant to be disclosed to the public. Even so, Sharon had decided to save on hiring servants and maids, she didn’t need someone to tend to every detail of her and her family’s daily lives, at least not anymore. 

She’d comb her own hair now, brew her own tea now, reach the top of the bookshelf by herself now. And it was her turn to take care of someone else now. 

Although he could not be here to be proud of her now. Maybe he was watching over her... them, maybe not, she wouldn’t know. 

“Mama...” 

“Hmm?” 

Shelia pointed at her nightstand, “Why do you keep that doll, mama? It’s old, and broken, and it scares me every time I see it. I feel like it’s looking at me.” 

Well yes, it is indeed quite old now. Sharon did try her best to fix it up, but sewing had never been her forte. Not that it mattered, the value of this doll didn’t lie in its appearance. 

“Shelia, sometimes, just because something is old and broken and a little scary doesn’t mean it doesn’t deserve to stay.” 

The child glanced at her mother as she drew the comb away. Her mother was looking at the doll. But Shelia didn’t think she was looking at the doll. 

“Mama?” she called out. Because she felt like her mother was somehow being dragged somewhere far off as she gazed in the doll’s direction and spoke with a kind of gentleness that differed from her usual one. 

“Mama—“

“Sharon,” silence followed after Reim uttered her name, a hand on her shoulder. There was a certain weight in the air that Shelia couldn’t comprehend. Somehow, she found it a little harder to find her voice. 

Erratic shadows created by the flickering candle flames danced on her mother’s visage, making it impossible for Shelia to discern her expression. Was she upset? Was she angry? Was she in pain?

No. 

Sharon displayed a well-practised, dazzling smile, “Oh dear, look at the time. Lights out, enough chitchats for the night.” 

“...But mama, I don’t understand...”

“Shh, it’s a convoluted tale,” Reim tucked his daughter in and laid down himself as well, “When you’re older, and wiser, and ready for stories that don’t always end with happily-ever-afters, we’ll tell you everything.”

“But stories always have happily-ever-afters,” she turned to her mother who just laid down on the other side, “Right?” 

Those anticipating eyes. Sharon recognised them all too well. Back when hope still weaved gracious days for her, she had those eyes too. 

Aah. She understood now. She understood many, many things in the most recent years of her life. She understood why he had so desperately warded off any darkness that threatened to cloud those eyes of hers now. 

And his methods weren’t always the best. But none of them knew any better. 

“No, Shelia. They don’t always do,” Sharon stated, much to the surprise of both her daughter and her husband (for different reasons). But before the little girl could refute, Sharon gently nuzzled her and assured, “But there’s nothing stopping you — nothing stopping us — from hoping for one still.”

No dazzling smile graced her lips at that moment. But her soft peck on her daughter’s forehead spelled nothing but tranquility, Shelia could only accept this answer, for now, as she yawned drowsily. 

“Cradle of light, cradle of light” Reim hummed with his calming baritone, briefly giving Sharon a knowing look before turning back to their child, stroking her hair. 

Ahh, was he looking, she wondered. 

Was he looking at these two clumsy fools who had no idea where they were voyaging to but never allowed themselves to stop and question it? 

“Blown about by the winds of time” 

The bow and stern of a vessel yet somehow missing a hull. The years that went by established a bond which hastily filled the holes, but stopping to question anything would immediately sink everything. 

“Drifting on waves of dappled sunlight”

Sunlight received from someone’s wish did not exactly provide merciful tides to sail on after all. 

“And, before you know it”

But well, none of them had known any better. 

None of them had known how to carry on, how to forget, how to let go. The best they could do was pretend, and stumble awkwardly on a way. 

Which way? Who knows? 

But someone was always there. A voice. Somewhere in the back of their heads. And it sings: 

“It reaches the shores of ‘a blissful tomorrow’”

This was no fairytale, they all knew that much. Such godsends were never luxuries they could possess. 

Still, she could not help but wonder, as she gazed at her beloved family — the anchor she dropped in her haven, the ones that kept her from drifting to wherever he could be when her mind was too fragile to withstand the maelstroms in her heart. 

Was this it? Was this enough? Was this the life he had wanted them to live? 

Was this the blissful tomorrow he had hoped for on her behal— 

Enough. 

It was sinking. She felt it all sinking. Sinking in her mind, sinking in her throat, sinking in her stomach. 

This was plenty. She had plenty. Really, she had to do something with that greedy nature of hers. 

I am blessed. There’s no need to worry, so...

So would you please tell him ‘Sweet dreams’ in my stead, Emily?

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The End

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A/N: Happy birthday, Break! You still reside in our hearts even now! :3 (30/9/2020)