#n i thought actually? i literally dont have to be around anyone who makes me unsafe bc thats the exact thing i escaped from my own family

[acoldfrenchfry]

Something great about adulthood is that you literally never have to be around people who don't respect you ever again. If you're unhappy with your friend circle/family? you can just leave and you'll be that much better and healthier. Don't like yourself? you can make a new self. Google is free and your life is customizable. Don't like who you are? then don't be that person lmao. You can just change. Make those choices, decisions, and meds to get you there. no one's gonna do it for you n you can't help people who don't want to be helped, which includes yourself.

n I know a lot of this takes time and money, but you gotta start somewhere. even just having a plan of action helps. Knowing what you wanna work on and who you wana be/people you want to hang out with. That's where it's at. Literally just do it. "idk if i'm ready" then do it unready. I didn't know how to move out transition pay bills dye my hair register my car move in with my partner get a better job change my name literally anything to do with a courthouse change my credit shave my face until i just. Free balled it by my damn self. No family support no pity party. I'm not waiting around for people who say sorry 10 billion times but continue to not be better anymore. Don't make yourself palatable for other people, be free bitches ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹

[dolliestfairy]

𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟'𝑠 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝅄ֹ ׅ♡ ೀ ʚĭɞ ‌ིᨴּ ˒˒۪

(Crazy) Yandere [Nerd] Boy x Soft!Chubby!Fem!Reader ༢𓏲๋ ⊹ ֢

𔓘 Tw : Kidnapping, Extreme Noncon (y'all are strangers bro), Rushed Fanfic, Mentions Of Blood, Virginity-Take, Extreme Somnophilia, Stalking, Extreme Obsession, Impregnate, A little of Bondage, Seriously dude you're fucking with a crazy nerd boy who is a freaking stranger to you like y'all didnt know each other but this madman is really know you to the soul from all his stalking and stuff. this fanfic is quite the Dead Dove Do Not Eat. Chubby reader fics with no skintone of reader mentioned.

𔓘 A/N : y'all.. this are f***king insane bro.. like this is kinda disturbing imo as a writer of this and also a lot of suffocating. Read at your own risk. me myself actually like the extreme yandere fics but this is still the prefix of it. stay safe while reading this because again; y'all are a stranger!! if a dark content yandere isnt your cup of tea then i highly recommend you to spend your shit at other blogs!! ty.

W/C : 6,4K for Stranger Fucking 💀

Currently thinking abt nerdy men who looks like they would shit in their pants when someone raised their voice at them, but the truth is; he's really really quite the strong. he's a nerdy man who arent shy at all (or maybe just a little) and he's simply just dont like to be bothered by anyone else. he's also a nerdy man who told himself countless time to just focus on studying and studying, and at the first moment; he actually manage to do it within his daily life, well until he met you.

You; plump, soft looking girl with chubby cheeks and doe eyes. you dont even know how much you affect him didnt you? arent you just dumb? walking there and then with such a tiny skirt that almost showed up your plump ass cheeks. walking down in the hallway with such dress that hugged all of your curves together perfectly. oh if only you find out how every night he would spend his time in his bedroom alone while his hand thrust his own cock up and down, thinking about you. he would be drown in his thoughts about how you would find out all his dark fantasy about you. but.. he do realize he shouldnt be doing this actually, no really, he should just be studying, but the soft laugh and those.. those whimpers terror you gave him just drove him to his edge.

And the fact that he masturbate about you when you both are clearly still stranger - is fucking crazy. he mostly had heard of how'd you talk, whimper and moan (wait.. how did.. he know?) and stuff like that while your own self being completely un guard around him. he swear to his thumbs he hated you for making him felt like this, i mean how could you?? a plump girl just trying to get into her daily life as normal as usual can make some nerd dude mad in love with her without her being aware at all?! he cant do this.. he cant do this anymore..!

And he really cant do it anymore. as he go to your apartement at midnight after finding out where you live. peeking through the window to what you were doing only to find you dressing in a short pastel rainbow dress lingerie with big bows placed in the back of your hair, dancing to some songs.. and oh my god he cant even explain how much he want to ripped those colorful dress lingerie off your body. he has no doubt at all that you have the most beautiful body he would ever sees in his entire life.

As he drown himself in his own thoughts until he heard a telephone ring -- it was your friend! your male friend! as you picked the phone up, talking with your friends, while he sees with his own eyes about the way you laugh softly at what-god-knows your friend was muttering to you. he doesnt and he would rather bury himself alive than admitting about the fact that he was really, really, envy and jealous. as he harshly breath at you, while all his body is literally focus with you. his eyes seeing you from head-to-toe, his ears listening carefully about the conversation you're having as his mouth try to resist to open it again because well um -- he is quite the drooling over there. that was it until you start to walk towards the front door where he was outside!!

As he sees you carefully, while hiding himself in the corner, and focused on the door handle you're about to open. until........

Until he quickly enough to put his arms and placed it onto your mouth, shuting you up until you passed out and bring you to your new home his home. as he open the bondage he placed at your mouth, and pinch your chubby cheeks until he sees your whimpering again. thats it! thats the thing that always drove him mad everydsy everynight. thinking about you whimper at whatever he was doing was like a holy candle for him. he then stood himself up, looking at your half unconscious body, and then start to strip you... to naked.

As he softly ripped all the dress lingerie you weared, and after he got the look at your boobs, he slowly put his hands up at where your nipples on, and start playing with it. while his eyes focused on your face, waiting the reaction he have been wait. and until then... you are moaning. honestly he have been thinking that he was in a dream that time. i mean -- he do have seen you moan by the way he always check on you secretly.. but he never except his own self to be the only one who could capable enough to hear your soft moan. as he sped up the phase of his hands playing your nipple, while his own other hand strat to undress himself.

And until he and your own finally completely naked. and... oh god to be damned. he swear he always sees you at some kind of whore while your other friend sees you just as an innocent normal girl, and he always have no doubt about his feelings That you have such an erotic body and at the end.. he was actually right. you do have a very very.. pleaseable body. as he placed his hands into your half unconscious body, lowering it until his hands touch your private part -- your pussy. he slowly but surely put his 3 long fingers in to play with you, and to be surprised or.. shocked even, that you are so so fucking damn tight! he even sure that your pussy is one of the most tightest thing he'd ever placed his hands on, as he quickly sped-ing up his pace at playing your pussy, watching you moan and whimper become one, he cant believe what he saw. you're literally still half unconscious! but yet you somehow still manage to bring out the sound he would die for with! at this rate he doesnt know if he wants to wake you up or just let you still be half unconscious so when you wake up, you're gonna have a some extra surprised with your naked body that has been covered with his cums. as he thinking about it while he placed his (quite big) cock at your pussy. trying to rip those tight wall of your pussy off. thats what he was trying to do until your pussy start showing a little drop of blood out of it.

Oh.. he get it.. yeah he actually get it. You're a Virgin arent you? oh.. such sweet cheeks.. well too bad yoi're going to give all of your innocents left as his own hands and dicks. the body of someone you dont even know at all. he actually felt (just a little) bit of guilt. but who cares anyway? you're literally still half unconscious! as he said it to himself while he tried his possible to pound your ass up at your fat pussy. going in and up in every corner. at first it was slowly, but then he start to change the position into a mating press just so the cums and the blood are still there. as he quickly but surely speeding his pace up like a mad man. at this rate he was at the edge of doesnt gave a fuck about the fact that you're still half unconscious but then he's also at the edge of shock and unbelief because of how you are still not waking up at his pounding.

And all of those pounding ends when his cock start to dried out with how your fat pussy suck all his cums and sperma in. pulling his cock out of your pussy only to see the view of the inside of your pussy, being drown with his cums. as his hands hold your body up just so all the cums he had restored isnt goung to spill. and until then he slowly put his hands down, letting your body down into the mating press position, watching your pussy spilling all of his cums like a fucking waterfall. (his cum waterfall) and then he placed his palm hands at your cheeks softly, while quietly muttering about how he would take care of you, and keeping you safe and that you wouldnt need to be scared of him (even after all his done to you) as he placed his other hand at your undressed belly, and then stroke it with such gentleness because he knew that right now, right at the almost-morning time, that you're going to be swellen with thousands - thousands of his sperm, and at the end of the month, he would see you placed your own hands at your bellies who at that time was full with his kid. oh how he cant wait... he just hope that you wouldnt be freaked out about the fact that you just found yourself in a unrecognizeable place with a literal fucking stranger who is now has placed a baby inside of you. yes, a baby -- his baby.

TSUKISHIMA KEI, ITOSHI RIN, MEGUMI, Itachi, Shikamaru, Nanami, Neji, Tobirama, Deku, KUNIMI, Muichiro, SEMI EITA, Konoha Akinori, Venti, XIAO, AL-HAITAM, Akaashi, KOZUME KENMA, & hatake kakashi.

did i forgeting anyone? insert ur fav!

Dolliestfairy's © Works. Do Not Repost My Creation at Any Platfroms Without My Permission.

[drvscarlett]

BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM

Alex Albon x Horner!Reader

Summary: Max Verstappen and Sebastian Vettel may be Christian's favorites. But Y/N Horner has her own favorites.

The Tortured Drivers' Department series

A/N: one of my favorite tracks and i hope i could give it justice. let me know what you folks think

Taglist. @tea-bobba @boiohboii @c-losur3 @haikyuen @stelena-klayley @stinkyjax @0710khj @jinimon-tr

I'll tell you something right now you ain't gotta pray for me Me and my wild boy and all of this wild joy

LittleMissY/N what a fun winter break bonding before the 2019 season starts. aren't we cute #GiveYouButterflyWings

PierreGasly the disrespect, my face is cut off after taking so many photos of you!!!

LittleMissY/N sorry not sorry PierreGasly Seb is also upset that you didn't even include him in that photo. LittleMissY/N tell the man to make an ig first.

MaxVerstappen33 why did the rookie get a solo shot before I did???

LittleMissY/N don't be jealous maxie, atleast you're still in the family mantle MaxVerstappen33 you are not slick Y/N tsk, im telling your dad LittleMissY/N respectfully, fuck off!

Alex_Albon it was nice meeting you Y/N!

LittleMissY/N its so good to meet you too alex :))) PierreGasly suspicious behavior!

User3 enjoy your time out there with the boys!

User5 anyone notices how Y/N is literally teasing everyone and then when it comes to alex she seems shy

User7 I smell a crushhhh User9 be for real, maybe its because alex is a rookie and Y/N didn't bond well with him yet.

LittleMissY/N dad took me to work and not bad for a rookie!

ChristianHorner I'm not taking you to work again

LittleMissY/N don't you miss me?? i thought you missed me ChristianHorner not anymore LittleMissY/N too bad, im applying for a job in f1

PierreGasly are you even watching the race??

LittleMissY/N yeah, you missed the points lmao! PierreGasly i hate you

Alex_Albon not a really good start for me but I'll try better next time!

LittleMissY/N dont stress, you have plenty more opportunities to do well! I'll see you next GP? Alex_Albon of course, I mean I'm being paid to drive that car hahaha LittleMissY/N you're funny PierreGasly are you seeing this MaxVerstappen33 MaxVerstappen33 im dying out of laughter LittleMissY/N I'm gonna pay your mechanics to miss out a few screws

User5 she is so pretty!!! how come she is christian's daughter?

User7 I met her during FP1 and girlie is so in love with a driver

User8 i think we know why Y/N is coming around the races.

Alex_Albon happy to get some points for today! My first in my rookie year!

User2 Amazing job today Alex

User3 Alex Albon, you make us all proud!!!

LittleMissY/N GET IN THERE ALEX!!!!! BLOODY AMAZING!!! SUPERB DRIVE!!!

Alex_Albon thanks Y/N, i can hear you shouting from Red Bull to Toro Rosso LittleMissY/N this is amazing news and everyone has to hear it!!!!!

User5 alex and Y/N are so cuteeee!!! Y/N is so excited for Alex's first points

User7 anyone else ships Y/N and Alex??

F1Fans OOF! Albon suffers a big crash during the practice session in Shanghai. Do we think choosing Albon is the right choice for this season?

User1 nasty crash, too bad that he will be missing qualifying.

User2 c'mon be a little more lenient to the guy, shanghai is a difficult track

User3 should be sacked tbh

User4 why are they allowing albon to drive? he isn't that good.

LittleMissY/N oh get over yourself. i bet you can't even drive an f1 car even if you tried. Drivers crash every now and then, Alex Albon is a fantastic driver that's why Toro Rosso got him. This is just a bad weekend for him but I'm sure he will bounce back for the actual race. User7 my surprise when I realize that its actually Y/N Horner defending Alex Albon's honor User8 we love Y/N in this household.

User9 praying for a better race results for Alex

PierreGasly posted a story...

LittleMissY/N replied: HOW DARE YOUUU???? WHO IS THAT RAT???

LittleMissY/N but tbh thats a genuine reaction. imagine starting from p20 and ending up into p10??? LittleMissY/N OH PIERRE QUIT IGNORING ME! LittleMissY/N i hate you so much

Alex_Albon replied: oh no, what happened to her??

PierreGasly your biggest fan has a bit of a teary moments. She is currently filling up my DMs with how much of an amazing driver you are Alex_Albon that's really nice of Y/N

MaxVerstappen33 replied: man Y/N is down bad

PierreGasly i knowwww MaxVerstappen33 christian just walked in to ask if Y/N has a crush on Alex PierreGasly its so obvioussss MaxVerstappen33 well except for alex lol

GeorgeRussell63 with my best mate Alex_Albon !!

LittleMissY/N Well hello there georgie

GeorgeRussell63 hello miss Y/N Horner, what are you doing around here?? LittleMissY/N just saw you tag alex and figured i should say hi to his bestie GeorgeRussell63 im watching you LittleMissY/N ditto :))

Alex_Albon we look good there!

LittleMissY/N you look extremely handsome there Alex MaxVerstappen33 simppppp LittleMissY/N im gonna crash your car

User5 another bestfriends making it to formula 1 together

User7 its so funny how Y/N shows up in any tagged photos of alex, miss maam you are whippedt!!!

LittleMissY/N I'm off to crash anyone who crashes him in the next race. Mark my words!!!!!!!! Still a great drive from AA, my favorite driver <3

Alex_Albon thanks so much for the support Y/N. No need to crash to anyone

LittleMissY/N okay but my offer will always stand

PierreGasly you are sooooo down bad

LittleMissY/N I'm going to put you down

User6 is Y/N, Alex's girlfriend.

User7 i think she likes him and alex is so oblivious User9 yeah, Y/N likes alex so much LittleMissY/N shut it.

User11 i just love how supportive she is with alex being a rookie and all

ROOKIE ALBON DEFENDS Y/N HORNER.

In a recent interview, someone made a mistake of putting Y/N Horner in a bad light. Not to worry because Toro Rosso driver, Alex Albon is there to rescue. The whole thing starts with a simple question of what does Y/N contributes to the team to which Albon answers that Y/N is the social media manager. The interviewer made the mistake of commenting how anyone could do that job. This statement seems to anger the rookie as he defends her by listing down her educational achievements and how her role is important to the team. Albon refused to answer any question with that reporter and Christian Horner has placed an indefinite ban for his drivers to speak with the reporter.

LittleMissY/N when he defends you:

PierreGasly i would have hit that reporter's face if i was there

LittleMissY/N awww pierre, i knew you always had a soft spot for me. PierreGasly only we (max, seb, danny, and me) can make fun of you MaxVerstappen33 facts! LittleMissY/N good to know

User4 red bull boys lining up to protect their princess

User5 i swear, aren't they together yet???

GeorgeRussell63 when did i consent being posted as a meme???

LittleMissY/N since you became my new bestieeeee GeorgeRussell63 i also don't recall consenting to that LittleMissY/N its only a matter of time before you accept it.

LittleMissY/N gonna miss you so much pierreeeeeee anw time to transfer to red bull

User4 not the black and white photo

User5 its so weird to swap teammates in the middle of the season

PierreGasly dumbass.

LittleMissY/N I'll continue cheering you on always PierreGasly aren't you the sweetest? LittleMissY/N this is available for a limited time only

Alex_Albon thanks for the welcome again to RB maxverstappen33 LittleMissY/N

PierreGasly hey i gave you my seat, a little thank u would be great Alex_Albon thank you Pierre LittleMissY/N stop fighting alex, he is so kind PierreGasly oh c'mon!!!! MaxVerstappen33 mate, Y/N will always drop us for Alex. Dont forget that LittleMissY/N smartest person as ever Max

Alex_Albon the car is feeling really good for my first race in Red Bull. Good race from p14 to p5!

LittleMissY/N PROUD OF YOU ALEX!!! THAT WAS AN AMAZING DRIVE

User1 i swear Y/N you have notifs on for alex Alex_Albon thank you Y/N!!!

User3 Alex really deserves to be moved up with that RB seat

User4 RB proving themselves to be a big challenge to Mercedes this year

User5 sucks that max dnf this race, just imagine the next race where they can be stronger!!!!

LittleMissY/N i hate corona so much but im facetiming my bestfriend Alex and life seems a little bit better. Stay safe everyone

PierreGasly my beSTfrIend Alex

LittleMissY/N go to hell Pierre PierreGasly lolololollllll whippedt culture

User5 im pretty sure you miss the races as much as we do

LittleMissY/N for real but we have to make sure that its safe to race again

User5 queen Y/N!

User8 i love their little livestream on twitch every now and then. Its the best thing to pass time

User10 love you queen Y/N

LittleMissY/N BACK TO RACING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

Alex_Albon quite excited to support us again?

LittleMissY/N of course, im red bull's biggest fan! MaxVerstappen33 red bull fan or alex albon fan? LittleMissY/N its good for you to know your place luv

User7 ITS RACE WEEKEND!!!

User8 look at them wearing masks, you should all do that too

User9 i cant tell you how much i missed races

F1Fans ICYMI, Checo Perez is getting that second Red Bull seat in 2021.

User1 wow checo??? congrats man!

User2 what about alex???

User3 im pretty sure a certain Horner is not happy with the decision User4 Im actually waiting for her reaction

LittleMissY/N AND THIS IS HOW I WILL FIND OUT????

LittleMissY/N you broke this family apart ChristianHorner LittleMissY/N BUT WHY???? User7 Y/N is just like us for real

User8 good riddance for albon, max needs a better teammate

User10 the only reason why albon has this seat is because Y/N Horner likes him a lot. LittleMissY/N everything that alex does is based on his pure talent. My dad won't even let me into meetings that's why im just as surprised as everyone regarding this decision. and fyi im gonna send this to my lawyers. User9 don't play with Y/N when it comes to alex.

LittleMissY/N Grill the grid episode, the one where I made them cook for my birthday

ChristianHorner happy birthday dear

User1 happy birthday to our queen, i hope lando made something edible for you!

User3 look at Y/N's birthday full of red bull current, former, and reserve drivers

PierreGasly sorry I couldn't make it but happy birthday to my soul sister

MaxVerstappen1 hoping for more birthdays for you Y/N

Schecoperez happy birthday hermana!

CarlosSainz55 Happy birthday little miss Y/N

Alex_Albon Happy birthday Y/N, hope you like your birthday!

LittleMissY/N thanks alex <3 User4 everyone been commenting on her post but she only responded to alex User9 girlie u r so whipped!!!

GeorgeRussell63 I wish you can get a seat next year mate

User5 i know, i think alex is wasting his potential being red bull's reserve driver

User7 right?? checo's chemistry with max is really good and i dont think christian will sacrifice that User8 i just want a decent team for alex

LittleMissY/N Are you cooking something georgie?

GeorgeRussell63 that depends, are you helping? LittleMissY/N for our common friend, absolutely User9 now what does this mean???? User10 anyone wanna tell me what's george and y/n conspiring together???

F1Fans No news about Albon's contract in 2022 and today we have seen Albon talking with Christian. It doesn't seem like its about contract renewal.

User2 anyone wanna bet that Christian is talking to Alex about Y/N

User3 what is going on, where will Alex be in 2022

User4 if alex switches teams then would Y/N switch too?

User5 i mean she already did it with toro rosso and red bull User6 but this is like the same group. What if Albon goes to Mercedes or McLaren, would Y/N join there too?? User7 blood is thicker than water everyone User5 i dont think yall understand how much of a simp Y/N is that she can go anywhere Alex goes.

User9 i just want alex to be in an f1 seat in 2022.

LittleMissY/N new hair, new color!

MaxVerstappen1 booooooooo!!! navy blue supremacy

LittleMissY/N i won't be taking any fashion advice from the man who literally wears only Red Bull merch. MaxVerstappen1 hey once upon a time you were always wearing our team merch especially when its no. 23 LittleMissY/N have fun crashing in the next race.

WilliamsRacing we like the color! Suits you!

User1 what is going onnnnn User2 i think alex is transferring to williams RedBullRacing im watching you

RedBullRacing we miss you queen!

LittleMissY/N aww, miss you!

WilliamsRacing Albon joins Williams for 2022! He will be partnering up with Nicholas Latifi, who retains his seat.

LittleMissY/N LETS GO!!!!!! FINALLY, ALBON BACK IN AN F1 SEAT

User1 Trying to beat Y/N in commenting and liking first, failed.

User3 so this is what george and Y/N is cooking.

User8 goodluck to alex!!!

User7 hoping that this time around, he can stick around for the long run.

Alex_Albon seas the day

User1 OMG BOYFRIEND ALEX????

User3 i think my bestie Y/N is crying somewhere rn

User4 i didn't expect alex has a girlfriend

User5 alex?? what are you doing?? this isn't Y/N

User7 have fun at your vacation alex!!!1

MaxVerstappen1 mate, who is she??

PierreGasly you should have warned us you were softlaunching someone

CarlosSainz55 congrats with the relationship bro!

Alex_Albon exploring the city with her.

User5 she takes so good photos of alex!

User7 queen Y/N its been 36 days since you last commented

User8 i fear girlie is heartbroken User9 i hope Y/N is okay

User10 alex and his girl are so perfect together

MaxVerstappen1 who is she alex??? cmon answer your phone

PierreGasly I swear were not sent by Christian to ask about this new girl of yours

WilliamsRacing pretty girl for a pretty boy!

Alex_Albon indeed <3

LittleMissY/N unbothered queen, so sorry for stabbing you GirlInRed

GirlInRed it hurts kind of little but anything for your therapy

User4 not Y/N fake stabbing someone because of Alex's girl

User6 this is so funny, Y/N

User8 so beautiful! you deserve better

MaxVerstappen1 well you know violence isn't always the answer.

LittleMissY/N oh really coming from you? MaxVerstappen1 cmon, I'll pick you up. Tell me where you are and lets talk LittleMissY/N i don't need to talk, im happy where i am

PierreGasly are you sure you're okay?

LittleMissY/N I have answered you a hundred times, im fine!!!!! PierreGasly Im still getting you ice cream LittleMissY/N awww pierre, you didn't have to

Alex_Albon merry christmas everybody!

MaxVerstappen1 hold up, did i miss a chapter or something???

PierreGasly is this a joke or something???

User4 I thought you have a girlfriend???

User7 all along its Y/N??? IT WAS Y/N ALL ALONG?

User9 lucky lucky lucky

GeorgeRussell63 FINALLY! I have been laughing so much with all the conspiracy online

MaxVerstappen1 you knew and you never even told us??? LandoNorris mate why didn't you even tell me? I thought we are 2019 rookies trio Alex_Albon sorry mates, i just have to keep this a secret a little longer

WilliamsRacing what a happy couple, so can we post your photos now?

RedBullRacing she is still our girl WilliamsRacing i think you should ask her about that

LittleMissY/N thankful for almost a year and a half with you

User4 what??? A YEAR AND A HALF???

User7 this is probably going on ever since Alex has moved to Williams

User8 my romeo and juliet!

ChristianHorner why am i not informed that it has been this long?

LittleMissY/N but daddy i love him :< ChristianHorner no. LittleMissY/N but what if im carrying his baby? ChristianHorner jesus christ, tell me you are kidding. LittleMissY/N i am but see it could be worse. i mean we just hid our relationship and not an entire family. ChristianHorner fine. invite him over and lets talk LittleMissY/N yay!!!

MaxVerstappen1 who knew you could keep a secret for that long???

PierreGasly Im more surprised that she was able to bag alex, are you sure you are perfectly sane Alex_Albon? Alex_Albon well I really really love her LittleMissY/N alex :< you used the love word Alex_Albon i mean you should have been used to it when you hear it everyday from when you wake up and before you fall asleep MaxVerstappen1 YOU TWO MAKE ME SICKKKKKK!!!!! NOT IN MY COMMENT SECTION

User10 folks i think we should apply to Y/N's school of being down bad and manifesting their dream partner

User15 what a lovely couple they are, goals!!!

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Johnny Lawrence’s daughter

Johnny Lawrence x daughter!reader

warnings: alcohol, underage drinking, classic johnny sexism <3

a/n: WHAT! ME write a fic thats not gn, i know. im shocked too but its just bc i feel johnny is so gender-stereotypey that doing this gn wouldn’t work very well but very open to a son!r or nb!r if anyone is interested (bc seriously. johnny cannot help but bring up genders). also i just want to say that a lot of this (not all!) honestly reminds me of or are actual things that have happened w my dad bc johnny is literally my dad if my dad was like 8 years older i think also i wrote this all in one sitting ALSO NO COBRA KAI SEASON 6 SPOILERS

prompt:

GIRL DAD!

you always kinda just gravitated toward living with your dad

“y/n, i’m so proud of you. i never have to worry about you. you can take care of yourself. robby on the other hand, i worry about him. i think girls are just more self sufficient” -johnny, a little drunk

“thanks dad” -you, also a little drunk (hes a “cool dad”)

he was the type of parent that “prefers that if you’re gonna do something stupid at least do it while he’s around” aka underage drinking

whenever he stays out late you fall asleep in his bed. and lock him out

“y/n! open the door!” -johnny, banging on the door

“no! your bed is more comfortable” -you

he thought it was sweet honestly but he did want to sleep in his bed

sort of like a lesson not to come home late all drunk and gross

he was VERY against letting you drive his car

“dad, i need my license!” -you

“no woman is getting behind the wheel of my firebird” -johnny

“why do you have to make it about women? i’ll fight you” -you

“you’ll lose that fight” -johnny

“oh, so you’d fight a teenage girl? wow, real classy, dad” -you

“no, but i’d fight my teenage daughter. i brought you into this world and i’ll take you out” -johnny

you honestly had a great sense of humor with johnny, but you’d check him if he said anything too messed up

“dad, it’s not the 80’s anymore, you can’t say that” -you

“dont tell me what i can and cant say! the 80’s were awesome, i wish it was the 80’s again” -johnny

“so i’ve heard” -you

he helped you with your homework as a kid until like, 2nd grade when multiplication and division got involved

he did teach you karate growing up! but mostly the basics, for self defense purposes

“hey, never let any guy try to impress you with his karate skills. he’s probably a douche” -johnny, pausing “i sure was”

late night movie marathons (70s/80s classics for sure)

he took care of you during your first hangover (high school parties, ya know)

“didn’t i teach you better than to mix liquors” -johnny

“ugghhhh” -you

yes, you have heard about daniel larusso. enough said LMAO

robby and you had a kind of sweet but distant relationship

occasional check-in texts

robby: are you doing okay with dad? he’s actually buying food and shit?

you: yeah! he’s fine right now, how’s mom? new stepdad yet? is he rich?

robby: mom’s not going anywhere she’d find a rich guy, but keep dreaming

you wear a lot of your dad’s old t-shirts. usually band tee’s

oh and he made sure you got into the “right music”

he used to drive you around in the firebird when you were a SMALL CHILD (front seat, no car seat!) and blast his old cassettes

for YEARS he’d pull the “who is this” “what song is this” game with the reasoning:

“if you wear a band shirt and some asshole asks you to name three songs, i want you to name ten” -johnny

listen. you were still “daddy’s girl” or whatever used to be a cute little saying and is now ruined but whatever

“dad, can i have twenty bucks?” -you

“for what” -johnny

“for fun. pleaseeee” -you

*johnny pulls out his wallet and gives you $40*

could he afford it? no. can he say no? also no.

the absolute fear he felt when you got your first period

“it’s fine, i can call mom” -you

“no, it’s not fine! i’ve had girlfriends before, i got this. stay here, i’ll be back” -johnny

he went to the store and bought the most random assortment of period products and pain meds and snacks and a heating pad

A for effort

when the diaz family moved in across from you guys, miguel took one look at you and johnny said:

“stay away from my daughter”

when the karate fuss got started you tried to keep your distance but sooner or later you joined the dojo and proved to your dad just how “badass” you could be

“take notes everyone, y/n’s gonna be the next all valley champ!” -johnny

taglist: @ravenmoore14 // @retvenkos // @sweetheartlizzie07 // @an4aaa // @summersimmerus // @xoxobabydolls // @sapphireplums // @petersgroupie // @ravenhood2792 // @evilcr0ne // @thedarkqueenofavalon // @elenavampire21 // @elemental-of-magic //

[lixies-favorite-cookie]

hang the moon ◦ l.f

-going through the ages of time with felix, from when you told him you were pregnant to seeing him braid your baby's hair.

@feelikecinderella I hope you like it it isn't something I usually write, but I adored writing it so thank you so so much for the request ♡

Paring ◦ Dad!Lee Felix x Pregnant!Reader

Words ◦ 4,506(this was originally supposed to be 1,000 words 💀)

Genre ◦ Fluff, Dad!Lixie headcanons, MY FIRST REQUEST MWAHAHA.

Warnings ◦ Felix being the sweetest man in the whole world, super unrealistic ngl, descriptions about pain, crying, reader being kinda moody, sexual content but its literally like two lines and it just says that you give him head and him giving you an orgasm no details at all, felix being hot asf, felix being a model father, a few big bad fuck words, I'm 19 i dont know how pregnancy works so bear with me babes💀, I know their has to be at LEAST 12 spelling errors, not edited (forgive me I have no time) uhhh nothing else I don't think

A/N ◦ I love this so much it was so cute and I stand by the fact if my husband isn't like this with kids I'm not having one (also is anybody else traumatized by their present absent dads my dad was always in my life and I love him to death great father terrible husband never did anything to help my mom out which makes me really scared to have kids can anyone relate?) I just want to apologize in advance for my rambling tendency please forgive me 🙏 Also this isn't in actual bullet point because Tumblr is stupid.

~cookiecreates 🍪

Mommy-to-be!Reader who gets that feeling all mothers get when another body is currently being knitted together inside them. The month you missed your period also helped with the suspicion, but the three pregnancy tests with two thick pink lines screaming at you really confirm your hypotheses that you are indeed pregnant, and it is 100% Felixes.

Mommy-to-be!Reader who is first overwhelmed by all the thoughts that have gathered in your head—the preparations, the options—if you want to keep the baby or not, what are you going to do if he doesn't want to? Oh no, you didn't think about what you would do if he didn't want to keep the baby. How would he react? Your overwhelm quickly changed to an anxiety that bubbled in your stomach when you thought of all the possible outcomes of what could happen to your relationship because of one simple accident. No matter how secure your relationship with Felix is, it's terrifying to think that he might leave, seeing his dreams of being an idol as more important than being a dad.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who was just sitting on the couch fiddling with his computer, when you walk in with your tear-stained face and trembling hands, he immediately goes to comfort mode. "What is it, darling whats w-" he stops in his tracks, seeing the test in your hands and definitely seeing the thick pink lines that tell him you're pregnant...

Daddy-to-be!Felix whose immediate reaction is to gather you up in his arms and twirl you around in the air, overwhelmed by a feeling of unadulterated joy. His whole face is lit up like a Christmas tree, really making his sunshine title shine through.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who can’t really believe it, “Your pregnant.” “Apparently” “Oh my gosh, we're pregnant.” “I don't think that's how that works.” You chuckle, still in mild denial. “Oh yeah, it is part of my DNA is currently inside of you.” He stops, really letting it sink in. “Holy shit, we're going to have a baby! You don't think either of you has ever smiled so big in your lives. 

Daddy-to-be!Felix who goes and tells the group the next day, too ecstatic to keep it to himself.

Uncle-to-be!Group who congratulates the hell out you and Felix, promising to take care of the baby any time you two need a babysitter. Cue spontaneous gift-giving as well; one day you find a stroller on your front porch from Chan, a box of baby clothes from Han, and a diaper bag from Minho, all on the same day.

Uncle-to-be!Chan who promises to spoil the hell out of your little sunshine, letting Felix rant about all his fantasies, how he's going to be the best dad, how you're going to be a wonderful mom, how he's going to buy her the cutest clothes, and how- Chan loves Felix, but he stopped listening after the 25th compliment about how wonderful you are doing with your pregnancy.

Mommy-to-be!Reader who figures out that Han's girlfriend, your best friend, is also pregnant, so you won't have to deal with your pregnancy alone, while Felix is understanding and supportive; he is a guy after all, and some things like how your boobs hurt and are oddly getting bigger, he just won't understand, and that's okay because at least you have a friend who you can rant about your boobies too.

Mommy-to-be!Reader who promises not to tell anyone about Han's girlfriend's pregnancy. Due to her request, she and Han have already agreed that they are planning a very big event to tell the boys, and she doesn't want it to be spoiled because of your loose lips.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who's so gentle with you, even during the days when your bump is so little, it's almost nonexistent, always asking if you're okay or if you need some food, water, or if the baby is okay? Is she hungry? Maybe thirsty? You have to remind him that the baby is nothing more than a gathering of cells right now and can't partially talk.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who guarantees that your baby is a girl and no amount of convincing can persuade him he's definitely projecting.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who would refuse to let you get up from nuzzling his face in your practically flat stomach. "Felix, I have to pee." "Do you want me to carry you to the bathroom?" He looks up from your tummy with big boba eyes. You deadpan. "Yeah, okay, you're right. You've got this." Basically, giving you little praise hand emojis🙌, even though his worried eyes stare you down all the way to the bathroom. 

Daddy-to-be!Felix who sends 'how are my girls doing' texts every day at practice, "You know, you don't actually know if it's a girl or not." "I have a feeling."

Daddy-to-be!Felix who treasures you even as you sob into his chest about your nightmares from the Euphoria TikToks you've watched about parents whose relationships crumbled because of having a baby, he dusts kisses over your face, whispering promise after promise on your skin that no matter what relationship won't crumble, this baby is going to make your relationship stronger, closer, better. He loves you too much, just like how he would love you if you were a worm and how he would kiss the prettiest person in the room with the choice between you or the prettiest person in the room because the prettiest person in the room is you (all true conversations you've had in between sobbing sessions).

Daddy-to-be!Felix who deals with all your shit with a smile on his face because he understands how hard it is to carry a fuckabigillion pound baby in your belly, so if you feel like yelling at him because he's home late, then crying in his arms because you regret yelling at him, begging him for forgiveness, he'll do both gladly. Not the forgiveness part; he doesn't forgive you because you didn't need it; he was never mad at you in the first place.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who starts getting concerned when your belly starts getting bigger at a faster rate than the average rate of time that one's belly gets bigger.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who shuts down every accusation that he's been doing research on your pregnancy and that he just happened to know the statistics about rates in which baby bumps grow (what can you say, he's a smart guy🤷)

Daddy-to-be!Felix who makes you promise to tell him all the days that your ultrasounds are on so he can make sure everything with you and his little princess is okay, especially since your bump is getting so big so fast, which he just happened to know and definitely did not do research about.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who gives you the best princess treatment all the time without fail. You don't like your nails; the money is on the counter for a new pair. You want to go shopping for maternity clothes because your jeans are starting to get too tight; he's at the door with his card and a big smile on his face, practically skipping out the door to give you the best day of your life. You want him to hold your bags as you walk around the mall, spending his money on anything you think looks even remotely cute; he'll do it with a sparkle in his eye. Your feet hurt from walking all day with this watermelon-sized child in your stomach; he'll lean down on his knees and stay there, rubbing your feet for hours. No matter what, even if he's exhausted from practice, his girls come first. Which ties into...

Daddy-to-be!Felix who demands time off. Demands it or he's done, leaving the team. (He's not actually going to, but he needs to let the company know he's not going to take their shit). His girls always come first. Reluctantly, they agree that he can take a 4-week break while you are pregnant and a 6-month leave after the baby comes. He glares at them before realizing that that's a pretty good chunk of time, but he's relentless, folding his arms in front of his chest, "and I get to leave whenever they need me." "I don't know about that." Daddy Bear mode activated. The woman trembles, looking at him. "Okay," she mutters reluctantly. Back into teddy bear mode. "Thank you so much. I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day." He turns and walks away like he didn't just make this lady shit her pants. (i highly doubt this is actually how this works but idrc this is called a fanFICTION for a reason )

Daddy-to-be!Felix who doesn't mind one bit doing the dishes and sweeping the floor as long as he sees you safe and sound in your bed, snoring away with your legs stuffed between a fluffy pillow.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who went with you to one of your ultrasounds, and ended up with only 10 minutes to get ready before a photoshoot. He had never felt so many glares in one room. Newsflash: It was worth it, even though they had to rearrange the whole schedule just for him. Han sent him a smile, knowing exactly how he felt.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who gets the worst cuteness aggression as you waddle around.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who just holds you when you burst into tears, feeling so useless as you cry from the pain, not knowing what to do when you start balling because the weight of holding a baby beginning to be too much to bear, so he just holds you, not being able to keep the tears that swarm his vision at bay, especially when he holds your bump, feeling how heavy it is just for him; he couldn't even imagine how heavy it is to carry that around inside of you.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who calls his mom right after just to thank her for going through all the shit of baring a child because he sees how hard it is for you and literally can't believe women all around the world have been going through that for all of time, it genuinely baffles him, he trips out about it for a hot minute.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who takes it up as his personal mission to make you feel like the prettiest woman on the planet when you're with him, especially since he can tell you feel insecure with all the changes your body is making. He sees them, notices them, he doesn't mind them at all, what he minds is how much they are hurting you and he just can't have that. Let's just say the amount of kisses and orgasms he has given you in the past 6 hours makes you feel like the hottest bitch in the world for about 4 weeks after.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who convinces you not to do a gender reveal because he wants it to be a surprise, you are hesitant because you don't like not knowing which gender to buy certain clothes, but you know you currently have a closet full of both baby boy and baby girl clothes because of ✨princess treatment ✨and with a black card and pregnancy hormones, all the clothes at the mall looked cute. What can you say? You're just a girl. 🤷

Daddy-to-be!Felix whose biggest fear is that he's going to be away when you have the baby, and he's not going to be able to comfort you through the most memorable and painful time of your life. It quite literally brings tears to his eyes. You comfort him, telling him that it's okay even if he isn't there. You know he loves you, and you wouldn't mind, but he reminds you constantly, "I don't care if it's in the middle of a concert, a fansign, a meeting that determines my whole entire future; your water breaks, I run."

Daddy-to-be!Felix who is so relieved that your water breaks in the middle of the night when he's home, where you can screech as loud as you can to attempt to get his attention. 

Daddy-to-be!Felix who jumped up from bed so quick, grabbing you and leading you down the stairs, racked with guilt that he couldn't pick you up because A) he literally can't, and B) he's too terrified, he'll fall and hurt you.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who if all the anxiety he has ever experienced in his entire life could be multiplied and put in his body, it would still be so minuscule compared to the way he's freaking the FUCK out right now, but he still tries to calm himself down, and be sober-minded for you.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who when you get to the hospital, they have got him FUCKED UP to think he's ever leaving you. Holding your hand through it all, a part of him has to be on you the entire time. It doesn't matter if he doesn't sleep; he's an idol. Not sleeping is what he does.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who falls in love with you all over again, seeing you push through all the pain—admiring your strength and dedication— he loves you so much and makes sure you know, even in some of the most inconvenient times.  “Big push,” the nurse calls out from under you. “I love you so much, baby, so fucking much, holy shit.” He kisses your hand. “Shut up, Felix, please.” You scream, your body vibrating with pain. “Yes ma'am, shutting up right now.”

 Daddy-to-be!Felix who praises you constantly, “You're doing so well, baby.” "Keep pushing; do you see that, you're almost done?” "I'm so fuckin' proud of you, darling." "The only reason I'm going to see my beautiful baby is because of you. Do you know how much I admire you? I literally can't find the words." “SHUT UP.”

 Daddy-to-be!Felix who lets you hold onto him while you go through all the contractions, digging your nails into his skin, drawing blood, "Ow baby," "sorry," "it's okay, I understand." You obviously are not very sorry, cause two seconds later you're digging deeper into his wounds.

Dad!Felix who is just as ecstatic about them telling him it's a boy as he would be if they were telling him it was a girl, he just has to change his dreams about brushing his little girl's hair to teaching his little boy how to tie a tie (which he is very bad at, but for him, he will attempt to learn).

Dad!Felix who never knew that you could love somebody so deeply without ever even knowing them, but when he holds your little ball of sunshine in his arms and feels their heartbeats intertwining, it all seems so much more real. He has your eyes. His nose, your hands, his toes—he sees bits and pieces of the two of you in every breath he takes. He has just met your baby, and yet he immediately feels like he would burn the whole world down for him.

Dad!Felix who panics when you suddenly start having even more contractions.

Dad!Felix who breaks down in tears when they hand him your second baby, a little girl, whose freckles dust across her cheeks just like his. If he thought he was feeling happy before knowing he gets to experience the best of both worlds at the same time, makes his already bursting heart about 10 times its size. 

Dad!Felix who is sobbing happy tears, a smile plastered on his face as he cuts the umbilical cords off of both his little balls of sunshine, never thinking he would be so excited to do something in his life. 

Dad!Felix who at this point is so surprised that he hasn't had a heart attack with the amount of scares he has gotten in the past 12 hours, especially when his heart jumps out of his chest, as the doctor informs the both of you that you need to be stitched up from where you tore, you are mostly confused because you didn't know you tore. It must have blended in with the excruciating pain that was firing from all areas of your body. "What does that mean? Is she okay? Is she going to die? Is she-"

Dad!Felix who is literally going to pass out because he actually thinks you're going to die.

Dad!Felix who feels real fuckin stupid when the nurses just chuckle and tell him you're not going to die, your vagina ripped while giving birth, that it happens quite often; they just need to sew you up.

Dad!Felix who watches them like a hawk as they sew you up, making sure that they aren’t messing anything up.

Dad!Felix who literally refuses to let you do anything for at least 3 months after your birth, researching the hell out of what can ease your pain, forcing you into bed rest while he takes care of the kids, giving you massages for your aching muscles, pouring you warm baths with rose petals when your stitching hurts or itches, he's so kind and attentive, hating seeing you in pain.

Dad!Felix who is so eager to do anything; getting up when the babies are crying, changing diapers, giving bottles, singing the babies to sleep…

Dad!Felix who loves to sing the babies with his deep calming voice, knowing it puts them to sleep instantly. 

Dad!Felix who loves to eat you out when he finally puts the twins to bed about just as much, noticed the way you were looking at him as he was singing in that deep, sexy voice. 

Dad!Felix who goes right back to the kids 30 minutes later when your moans wake them up.  

Dad!Felix who just can't get over how awesome it is to see how different your babies are, not just in gender but in personality as well.

Dad!Felix who literally despises having the babies cry, does anything he can to stop it, not because it's annoying him, but because it hurts him to know his little angels are sad.

Dad!Felix who will cook dinner with both babies held carefully in his arms—something that seems atomically impossible, but he figures it out.

Dad!Felix who sees the guilt bubbling up on your face, rushing it away with gentle kisses and soft reassurances, ushering you away with a smile. “I know you're tired and hurting. Go take a nap, love, and I'll wake you up when dinner is done.”

Mom!Reader who wakes up from her nap, sees the house cleaned, the dishes done, the babies fed, and put to bed with a steaming meal in front of you, you are more than happy to suck him to the heavens after. Hey, everything's 50/50, right? 

Mom!Reader who begs Felix to get the babies because she can hear them crying through the baby monitor.

Dad!Felix who does it without a second thought. Never once complaining about how you guys could count the amount of sleep you have gotten combined on just one of your hands, he understood the twins were ornery—having a bad case of colic—so to calm them down, he sings to them just like he always does.

Mom!Reader who panics hearing such a deep voice over the baby monitor. In a fit of half-asleep—panic-induced—sleep deprivation run into the baby's room, ready to kill somebody if needed, but your heart melts instead when you meet Felix holding your sniffling twins, rocking them carefully in his arms. Tears pool in your eyes seeing the way his face glew with pure love; even though he looked exhausted, even though there were deep bags under his eyes and spit up on his shirt, no matter how hard life was, at least you know that with Felix, you’d never regret it, not even for a minute.

Dad!Felix who looks up, surprised to see you in the doorway. "Hi baby," he whispers. "Go back to bed, darling. I've got this." You look at him like he hung the moon, and for you, he would. 

Dad!Felix who is the most patient father any child could ever ask for. (I will never get over this. Definitely the type of dad who would help clean up the milk and not just yell because it was spilled)

Dad!Felix who would rather die than yell at his kids, is definitely the gentlest parent known to man.

Dad!Felix who dresses your angels like the next Louis Vuitton ambassadors, "Really, Felix, our four-month-old babies do not need a Louis blazer and jumpsuit." "Who says?” he shrugs. “Um, me, because they're 4 months old.” You enunciate every syllable as though you were talking to one of the babies in question. “Do they even sell this in stores?" “Um, no, I had it custom-made, duh." "Oh my gosh," you facepalm, not before facepalming a little harder, pulling out a Louis pair of sunglasses and a Louis purse just small enough to fit tiny hands. ”You bought the baby a Louis purse?" "Of course, my princess can be without a bag. Look deeper; there's something for mommy in there too.” You pull out a Louis Vuitton diaper bag. 🤦

Dad!Felix who has never really liked confrontation, but when a paparazzi accidentally bumped into you holding the twins because he was trying to take pictures of the group; he almost killed him, saw red, got so close to using those Taekwondo skills he spent years practicing. The team was the only reason he didn't rip someone's head off. Bangchan's glare would have been enough, but yours, his, and the whole group were enough for the man's face to go red and curl into himself, definitely regretting all of his life choices.

Dad!Felix who's the type of father who wants to protect his little angels from the world, is literally willing to glue pillows to all areas of the house so that they will never get hurt. You stare at him blankly, wondering if he's serious.

He is.

Dad!Felix who gets genuinely disappointed that you obviously oppose, so instead he baby-proofs the ever-loving shit out of the house, sharp objects gone, all corners covered, outlets concealed.

Dad!Felix who if anyone were to talk about his family online, would not be silent, would go into a fit of rage, aggressively typing on his phone, getting ready to post a long paragraph on his story that you or his team would have to keep him from sending because, you know, his job or whatever, speaking of job…

Dad!Felix who knows he has to leave for work eventually, and his 6-month hiatus from the group was not permanent. A lot of tears are shed as he holds you and your beautiful babies, knowing he isn’t going to be able to see them for a whole 3 months while they start their tour. He can't bear thinking that he might miss such pivotal moments as the first rollover, the first steps, the first word. He can see his little munchkins' lives flashing right before his eyes as he looks at the packed suitcase in the corner. “Felix, we are going to be fine, I promise." “Are you sure?? I can leave the group; I would leave them for you; I promise I would; you just say the word and I'm gone; we can buy a house in the suburbs-” You giggle, overwhelmed with admiration for his dedication to your family, “Don't be silly, Lix. I know you love your job and your team, plus we wouldn't be able to afford a house without you working." He sighs, knowing you are right. “Fine,” he mutters, holding you all close. “Just promise to call me every single day, okay?”

Dad!Felix who gets up early enough in the morning to feed the kids and get them dressed, trying to spend as much quality time with them as possible before he has to leave. 

Mom!Reader who, being the mom you are, still freaks out when you wake up, scared Felix is going to miss his plane. While you're putting your son's shoes on, you run into the room and say, “Come on, lix-” You stop dead in your tracks, seeing him beaming while brushing your little girl's hair, humming a sweet melody as the paddle goes smoothly through her locks. She looks up at him like he hung the moon, and for her, he would. Your bad mood dissipates as you remember why you got into any of this in the first place. Everything is going to be fine. You're going to be fine. Felix looks up, feeling your presence. He smiles wider. "Do you like it, momma?" He asks, clearly proud of his work. She smiles toothless and full of glee. You take her in your arms, spinning her around. "Well, of course, I like it. Did Daddy do this for you, baby?" She spits out gobbly gook, which you nod your head at, acting like she just recited pie.

Dad!Felix who brushes the little girl's hair every day before work without fail, even looks up tutorials on YouTube about different strategic hairstyles. He's terrible at them. Doesn't stop your heart from melting into a puddle on the floor while he's attempting French braids, though.

Dad!Felix who proposes to you a few years later, so he can have your two beautiful babies standing beside him as he proposes: his little princess in a cute white dress holding a bouquet of picked flowers, and your little prince in an adorable little tux holding a heart of chocolates. Everything is just so perfect, you'd be a certified idiot not to say yes (not that you were ever considering it).

Husband!Felix who when you finally get married, agrees that your baby boy is going to be the one who walks you down the aisle with your little girl being his best wo'man', right beside Hyunjin and all his other members, of course.

Extra for the ones who endured my rambling 

Mom!Reader+Hans girlfriend who had a baby boy the same day that you had your little girl. When you found out the good news, you immediately started planning for the wedding, knowing this couldn't be anything other than fate, already thinking about ship names and wedding dresses.

Dad!Felix+Han who glare at the two, Felix not liking the idea of his perfect princess being anywhere near the male species, Han not liking the idea of his girlfriend cuddling with someone that isn't him. But eventually, Felix eases on his glare, his heart melting as you giggle about the color of the bouquet.

Last but not least

Husband!Felix who will always love the way his family looks at him, like he hung the moon because, for them, he would.

©CookieCreates (posted: June, 19th 2024) All rights reserved. Do not translate, copy, or claim my works as yours! I only post on this platform so if any of my works are elsewhere, report and notify me immediately.

~ I'm probably going to redo this one day so if you have anything you would like to add/change please let me know :))

COOKIE OUT

[calp0sa]

Favorite Headcanons for airy?

i have like 10 million headcanons for him but i’ll list as many as i can from the top of my head

-hes autistic LIKE ME!!! and is specifically very autistic about music (like meee) i like to think he had a huge collection of vinyls cds cassettes etc and its all stuff from the 60s to the early 90s. no doubt he had a bunch of posters for his favorite bands and musicians too. and hes awesome on the guitar, great rhythm guitarist… its a shame he couldn’t make his talent a profession like he once dreamed of doing. oh well, at least the number 1 perk of trucking is that its peaceful and you dont really have to interact with many people! plus trucks have radios, and cd players, so airy would often bring along a few albums to listen to as he drove those long days and nights.

-hes also got a knack for aquatic creatures (LIKE ME) of course, being a literal fish monster himself (cool fact my airy design is like actually a fish monster he can breathe underwater and everything and his limbs are covered in fish scales) airy loves fish both as friends and food. hes particularly fond of freshwater fish, which makes sense considering the fact he grew up around the swamps of louisiana (yes im making him louisianan Like Me shaddap) hes also fond of those fucked up looking deep sea creatures, just so fascinating. i think airy liked to do a little fishing in his spare time. And hes awesome at cooking em but fair warning for those with a low spice tolerance… he loves spicy food btw (like meeeee)

-when airy was in the forest, he kept a log of his thoughts on the computer, in an attempt to hopefully give himself whatever clarity he could. the notes ranged from all brief, to desperate, to hopeless, to spiraling, to borderline dadaist poetry? to insanity, to denial, to whatever, really i think his mind was obviously all over the place on a daily basis. things must have been pretty loud for him, that cassette player was probably one of the only things keeping him together, before he numbed himself n all, which is around the time he ceased writing these notes as he saw no point in doing so.

-ok enough about him suffering we’ll get back to that later Airy’s favorite drink is ginger ale i mean look at that guy and tell me he doesnt fw ginger ale or dr pepper are you kidding me. he can have dr pepper as a little treat (too much soda is bad for anyone especially if youre an old feller like airy) speaking of little treats i like to think he has an insatiable sweet tooth LIKE MEEEE and his favorite treaaats are pumpkin pie, macarons and practically anything chocolate he loves chocolate (im like allergic to not projecting onto my favorite characters if you couldnt tell) maybe airy knows how to bake a little bit i mean he is an object show host after all

-this is oddly specific but airy is a chronic pain warrior #JUSTLIKEME so when he was in the forest he’d make like home made heating pads by wetting a glob of moss and putting it against his face while he had his flame on (he sometimes put it on a plank over a bonfire if he felt like it) this was a bit tricky when he broke his face but im sure he managed he always manages (kinda) (relatively speaking)

-well anyway we’re back to the forest and i just mentioned his broken face So you know how he disappeared for seven months after he did that lol well what if it was because the pain and shock from that incident evoked the long lost clarity he’d been so stubbornly avoiding in order to cling on to his meaningless, fallacious escapism which triggered him and sent him into a state of agonizing self consciousness, reminding him of his earthly death, how he used to be Someone, and how he essentially let himself rot into what is now an empty shell of who he once was. after so many years, the first reflection he saw of himself was seen in something broken; shards of glass, of which he couldn’t stand to look at… as there is nothing comparable to the pain of revelation, the burden of truth after having been so lost and festered into the stagnant waters that surround you. he felt he had no choice, he disposed of the shards into the nearby stream. those seven months were not just a matter of physically healing, but as a means to losing himself all over again.

-Aaaanyway i think airy had a cat at some point in his life i think we can all agree hes a cat person right!!! he had a tortoiseshell kitty named goose and he loved her very much. idk why he named her goose he probably just thought it was funny to name an animal after a different animal.

-OH YEAH lemme bring amelia into this listen i am such a huge fan of the theory of airy being related to amelia so i like to think hes her uncle!! when amelia was little she’d stay over at airy’s house while her parents were away and he’d teach her stuff like how to fish, how to ward off snakes, how to kayak, all that jazz cuz he was an awesome uncle. she was kinda like an actual daughter to him. and amelia was so fond of sunny weather as a child, one dayy at airy’s house she had to stay inside because it was too rainy, so she occupied herself by drawing a little picture of the way she wished earth was; always sunny, sky always blue, grass always green, huh! the way she drew that grass as individual little triangles is all too familiar is it not…

OK I HAVE SOMEWHERE 2 GO now i’ll probablt add more later But thank u so much for asking this i love love love infodumping about anything airy related i heart airy

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

How NoirPunk Meets - Hobie Brown x Noir!Peter Parker Headcanons

a/n: listen okay these two just hear me out- just listen i swear these two are perfect for each other on god i promise just trust me

also i be calling noir peter if thats okay i dont really see that much

—————————————————

So let's just be honest they're a large part of why the other sticks around in the society, and I wouldn't be surprised if -

Hobie was the one that finally got Noir!Peter to join

I really like the idea that Hobie was the thing that convinced him to join.

I mean, Peter has his own shit going on, he's not just fighting Goblin and the usual villains - he's actively trying to stop a fascist regime and thought system.

I could absolutely see the society approaching him multiple times, and Peter just declining. He's the brooding type to work alone, and (aside from learning about color), it wouldn't be surprised if he was just uncomfortable with this whole 'secret society of superhumans that controls the flow of history' thing...because, y'know

So as a last ditch effort, Miguel and Jess ask Lyla whose left and who's algorithmically their best bet at recruiting him

And Lyla is like '..You know who ;) '

Miguel is like 'Jesus Christ anyone but him' - because they barely send Hobie on missions for a reason!! He's a huge wildcard

and convincing Hobie to recruit someone else is a whole different story for another time

Hobie went to Peter's universe already planning to have him as an ally

It was only after they debriefed him on Spider-Noir and what he does that Hobie agreed

Even from his case file - which Hobie thinks it's creepy they have that but whatever - Hobie admired him and his activism

SO much of world theory and social understanding developed from the thirties onward, so already he'd feel a connection and understanding, being almost impressed by Noir

And despite what he lets on to Miguel, Hobie is smart and informed as fuck, and from his large knowledge of world history, so he already knew what he was getting into

But the first time he stepped into Noir's universe it was like turning the world on its head

It really shocked Hobie, which is pretty hard to do

It was like going from the world's loudest room to dead silence. It's a kind of serenity that kind of puts Hobie at ease. The rain, the darkness, the quiet, all that

Which is why Peter comes home one night to Hobie just chilling in his apartment like it's nothing

He's just laid out on the couch like 'Oh great, for a second I thought The Man was going to have you working all night.'

And like COME ONNNN could you imagine from Peter's POV

Working literally all night, tired as hell, coming home to the dark of his apartment with the rain outside, and he just finds Hobie, vibrant and pink on his couch, his color the only thing in the room

Usually Peter turned away all the others from the society, but he felt like Hobie might be different

So he let him stay, and offered to hear him out

But what's supposed to be a recruitment pitch turns into hours of Hobie and Peter at Peter's kitchen table, shooting the shit and talking about anything

Peter makes them some coffee as Hobie looks over Peter's book collection, smiling at the ones filled with Peter's notes and thoughts in the margins

Peter is almost taken a back, because Hobie is so bold and out there and worldly

He's surprised to meet someone actually interested in justice - real, actual justice - and equality. Someone whose ready to talk about it so openly and say 'hey fuck this amiright'

It's SO refreshing to Peter

He's impressed that Hobie has all of this vocabulary, describing complex ideals that were still being formed and whispered about in 1933.

In a universe full of rain and shadows and shades of grey, meeting Hobie is like falling into an oil painting for Peter. He's full of color and humor and ease and confidence - his humor is scathing and honest, and Hobie's the first one to make Peter laugh at a joke about anti-capitalism

The first night they meet they kinda just get lost in each other

And UHHHH yeah they keep going

Hobie comes back the first night and tells Miguel that he's 'still staking Noir out', not telling him they've actually met

And for the next four nights, Hobie came over to Noir's place, just to see him, and talk

Peter knows why Hobie's there, and Hobie isn't trying to hide it. In the beginning he tells Noir straight up that he's here for recruitment, that he thinks it's bullshit, and that eventually he's going to do something about it

But he asks Noir to join because, yeah, Hobie likes him a lot, and he wants to see him more. And he thinks he'd be one of the most valuable allies to have, ever.

Noir is literally his comrade.

And Noir agrees (, but he probably will have some terms and conditions to take up with Miguel later, like the kind of missions he will do, the amount of time he can and can't spend away from his dimension, etc)

But for the next four nights, they spend it just with each other, learning each other and trading ideas, drinking coffee in Peter's apartment and listening to vinyls

And they just make each other so soft

Sometimes, Hobie brings papers from his world to show Peter

The third time he visits, Hobie brings him a stack of zines - colorful little booklets full of collages and bold ink

On some nights, Hobie reads over Peter's first drafts at his kitchen table, watching Peter make coffee on the stove, the old-fashioned way

People at the Bugle start to notice that even if it's subtle, Peter seems more at ease and easygoing, and he has DOZENS of new, forward thinking ideas in his writing that he's excited about

Meanwhile Hobie's been in a great mood (which Miguel hates cause he's a hater like that)

He asks Hobie for a status report, and Hobie smuggly tells him that the missions accomplished

And Lyla is grinning her little ass off because OF COURSE she knew that algorithmically they're romantically compatible

(And YES Lyla sets up mission teams based on her own little matchmaker algorithm without Miguel's permission because she thinks its funny)

From then on Noir requests he either be assigned solo missions or missions with Hobie

And they go around HQ calling each other their 'partner' and neither refuses to elaborate any further

Mission partner? Dating partner? Partner-in-crime? ALL THREE.

__________

im obsessed with these geniuses. look at what they've done to me (and by they I mean myself I've done this to myself)

hi thxs for reading also this was not proofread so if you see a typo my adhd says no you didnt

[eustasskidagenda]

hello im so excited that your ask box is open and youre taking requests! i dont request things often, so this might be a but of a weird concept, and i apologize if its too detailed. however the idea literally wont leave me alone. orz;;

maybe eustass kid has a crush on a somewhat reserved reader whose slow to open up and he hasnt quite realized thats what hes feeling until they stop on an island and meet readers childhood friend. they show a whole new side of themself with said friend by laughing openly, making stupid jokes, being much more physically affectionate. basically reader acts close with an old friend and kid gets jealous about it.

i dont mind if you do a oneshot, drabble, or headcanon, im just curious about your thoughts on this :3 thank you so much and i hope you have a great day!

Hello dear anon! Sure, I'm always happy to write for my pookie. It was fun to write, and it makes me smile a bit because Kid is such a mess, I love this angry tulip. Hope it will match your expectations. ☆

☆Kid with a s/o slow to open up

CW : g/n reader, a bit of cursing but fluff overall

WC : 700

Kid has always been loud. Whenever he's angry, he needs to shoot at someone. What can he say? His heart is filled with emotions, boiling and exploding like a thousand sparks. That's why you're a mystery. Always calm. Not letting others know what's on your mind. What makes you so quiet? He can't tell. 

Just like the moon and the sun, you are polar opposites. And yet, as the sun always chases the moon, he's always looking after you. And he's everything, but not discreet. Asking loudly for almost all of his crew what they think about you and why you are so reserved. 

Sure, he's used to introverted folks. Killer is one of them. But here's the difference: he can second-guess every word, thought, and breath of his best friend. He could probably achieve all of his sentences. And even through the mask, Kid could also guess the exact expression on Killer's face. 

Killer, who is likely aware that Kid has a small crush on you.

Kid is genuinely frustrated. Loudly frustrated, obviously. He needs to feel in control of everything and hates when he doesn’t have a full-understanding. Usually, he fails to notice reserved people because he's taking all the attention. But there's something about you: your slight smiles, the flash in your eyes, the way you're always listening to others but never talk about yourself. He can't tell why, but it keeps his mind alert. 

Perhaps you pose a bit of a challenge. Kid would never give two flying fucks about you if you were easy to see through. He's always looking after you because you're still a mystery. Sure, at the beginning, it was just to try to figure out who you really are. But now, it turned into something bigger. He hasn't noticed it yet, that’s all. Kid sucks with feelings. Feelings are actually something he hates because they make him feel weak. It puts his loved one in danger. Showing your weaknesses to enemies is a foolish move, Kid knows that perfectly.

However, everything is about to change. He decided to stop on that island for the day. For the first time, you asked to avoid robbery or harming anyone around. 

"Ugh, we're pirates, y/n" Kid doesn't want to look like a nice guy. He's a tough, rude pirate. He has a reputation to uphold. For him, the only good way to open a path is by violent means. Kindness? For what? If he's still alive today, it's because he toughened up and decided to never show mercy to anyone. 

"Fine, fine, I won't kill those people." Heavy sighs. But he wants to understand. He needs to understand. And finally, he's about to understand. 

Because suddenly, you're smiling heartily and running towards those scumbag strangers. What. The. Fuck. It's like seeing the sun after an eternity of blizzards and grey clouds. You're a bright light, a true sunshine. A burst of joy. You're joking, laughing, talking, and talking a lot. You never said more than two sentences in front of him, and now you're chatting endlessly with those strangers and hugging all of them. 

He's pissed off. Are those random people with terrible sense of style and ugly make-up better than him? The great Eustass "Captain" Kid? No way. 

"Guys, here's my captain, Kid. Kid, here are my childhood best friends."

Kid's face is a mess of angry scowls and boiling with frustration when they say hello. Why aren't you smiling as warmly when you're with him? Why is his heart pounding so hard, almost painfully in his chest? And damn, is it the cold or are his cheeks completely red? 

Poor Kid is both flushed and flustered. His first reflex is always exploding when he feels something. "Do you have a problem with me?" Barking through gritted teeth. 

He's ruining the happy-shitty mood and he doesn't care. 

So now, try to explain that you don't have a problem with him. Good luck, he's very stubborn. But once he's more or less calmed (because he's still pissed off), he still can't understand why his heart is racing at the sight of your soft, warm smile.

He wants to see that side of you more often. He wants to be part of those privileged people allowed to know the real you.

Yes, maybe he has a crush on you.

[storiesforallfandoms]

fluffy haired gamer boy ~ ranboo

word count: 2056

request?: yes!

“Oooo i saw you said you might write for Ranboo. I was wondering if I could request something. I've been having a rough few days and kinda just want some comfort fluff involving him if you could. You don't have to if you dont want to”

description: in which they’re a popular twitch streamer and their fans like to make jokes about their fellow gamer boyfriend

pairing: ranboo x gender neutral!reader

warnings: swearing, absolutely no plot other than fluff

masterlist (one, two, three)

(i just wanna note i started writing this before ranboo came out as nb and using he/they pronouns, for the sake of consistency and for the title i came up with beforehand i am using he/him pronouns and referring to him as “boyfriend”)

Behind every popular Twitch streamer is their fluffy haired, gamer boyfriend who brings just a sense of wholesomeness to every stream they are a part of.

I laughed at this once when it was brought up by a friend of mine as we were streaming one night.

“Not me!” I said, because I was an idiot and thought I was special. Because, at this point in time, I didn’t even have any plans on getting in a relationship. Even if I did, I wasn’t going to be public with my relationship. I was so sure that if I were to date someone, they wouldn’t be famous in the same way I was and I wouldn’t want to ruin their privacy by putting them out there for my hundreds of thousands of followers to see and harass and never leave alone.

Boy, was I ever wrong.

I met Ranboo for the first time after being invited to join the Dream SMP. I wasn’t much of a Minecraft fan and had no idea about the whole “SMP” stuff that had gotten so big on Twitch, but I decided to give it a try. Even if it was just one time to say that I did it. And I had become online friends with a few of the Dream SMP members, so I felt comfortable being brought into this world for the first time.

I don’t know what it was about him, but I was drawn to Ranboo almost immediately. I could barley form a sentence whenever I was talking to him. Every time he laughed, my heart would do a flip in my chest. As much as I wasn’t into Minecraft, I started putting up with playing it more just so I could spend time with him.

The day he messaged me asking if I wanted to call, just the two of us, no streaming and no video games, I almost jumped for joy. Quite literally.

And then, when he did call, he managed to make me feel so many emotions all at once.

“Hey,” I said when I answered his Discord call. “What’s up?”

“Hey,” he responded. Even with just the one word, I could tell something was going on.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah! Yeah, everything is fine. I just...” He took a deep breath. This seriousness was starting to worry me. “I really like you, (Y/N). I’ve been enjoying getting to talk to you when we’re gaming together, but I want to have more than that. Like...more than friendship, even. And I know that’s a lot to ask when this is our first time talking outside of streaming, but I needed to tell you.”

I was silent for just a moment, before I started to laugh. I didn’t mean to, it just happened. I think I was just so shocked by his confession that I had no idea how else to react.

“Ouch,” I heard him mutter to himself.

“No!” I said, finally regaining myself. “I’m sorry, I promise I’m not laughing at you. It’s just...I feel the same way about you. I have since we met, actually.”

We both laughed together upon realizing our similar situations.

That was the start of our relationship. We kept it a secret from our audiences for the first few months. It wasn’t hard when we lived in different states, so we weren’t physically together, and we didn’t act much different when we were playing together than we had before we started dating. The cat was let out of the bag when Ranboo came to surprise me at home, not realizing i was mid-stream when he did. We thought we could get around it by me ending the stream before anyone could see him, but unfortunately we didn’t take into account that my viewers would hear him. But, our fans were ecstatic with excitement when we finally confirmed we were together, and we were slightly relieved to not have to hide anymore.

But, with the fans finding out came the usual teasing from them. Someone found the clip of me and my friend talking about how I’ll never have a fluffy hair gamer boyfriend and started circulating it on Twitter. It became a running joke in my fandom. I couldn’t escape the damn clip.

Especially when I was streaming with Ranboo.

One night while we were streaming, my chat was just constantly filled with the quote I had said from the video.

“I’m going to shut off my chat at this rate,” I commented, only half joking.

“Why? What are they saying?” Ranboo asked.

“They’ve taken an old clip from one of my streams and made it the fandom joke. My entire chat is just them quoting the clip. It’s only, like, five seconds long, but at this rate it’s the longest five seconds of my life.”

There was no response to this. We were playing a game together, and it took me a moment to realize his character wasn’t moving either.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Nothing,” he responded.

“Okay, sure, I totally believe that.”

He was silent again. A quick glance to my chat gave me the answer: he was trying to find the clip on Twitter.

“Do not look up the clip!” I said, although I knew I was powerless at this point. He was in a completely different state, already in the process of looking for it on Twitter. I had no way of stopping him unless I was somehow able to get to his house hours away within a matter of seconds.

“Your viewers are so mean, they’re tagging me in tweets that include the clip,” he said, a light laugh in his voice.

I groaned and rolled my eyes.

Seconds of silence passed as Ranboo watched the video. I heard him chuckle slightly, then chuckle again as I assumed the video re-started.

“Is this what they keep quoting?” he asked.

“The part where I say I won’t be getting a fluffy hair gamer boyfriend? Yeah, that’s what my chat is full of right now.”

Well, actually, at that moment my chat was full of my viewers either apologizing over the fact that he had now seen the video, or laughing about the fact that he had. Twitch chats are the worst, let me tell you.

“How long ago was this before we met?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t even remember saying it until someone tweeted the clip at me, like, the week after we announced we were dating.”

“Someone in my chat says it was a few weeks beforehand.”

“Y’all keep track of this?!” I asked my chat in disbelief. “How do you guys know that?!”

“The date on the VOD, I’d assume.”

“Okay, but still. You guys are scary.”

I managed to get the attention back to the game, mainly because we had forgotten to pause and Ranboo’s character was getting killed. I veered away from the topic of the video and tried to keep Ranboo distracted with the game. My chat, however, was a lost cause. They were still reveling in the fact that he had finally seen the clip. It seemed that this was going to be the new thing for my viewers to spam and meme me with.

When we finished playing, Ranboo said he was going to stay streaming for a bit because he was set to play with someone else. I could feel my eyes starting to burn from the strain of looking at my computer for so long (one of, if not the biggest downsides to being a streamer) so I decided to call it a night.

“I’ll call you when I’m finished streaming?” Ranboo asked.

“Yeah! I’ll be up for another while,” I responded.

The chat filled with messages about how cute we were - both positive ones and playful disgust ones.

We ended our Discord call and I said goodbye to my chat before shutting down my stream. I rubbed my tired eyes, trying to get some moisture back into them to help with the strained feeling, before getting up from my desk.

After streaming for a long time, I tried to stay away from screens for at least an hour. This included watching anything on my TV. So I decided to make something to eat, playing some music in the background so it wasn’t so quiet in my apartment. Once I finished eating, I went to get a quick shower, and then pulled on my pajamas and got into bed to start reading. I was starting to nod off when my phone started playing the tone for a Discord call. I placed my book on my nightstand and rolled over onto my side to answer it.

“You’re done playing already?” I asked.

“It was just a few rounds of Life,” he responded. “They wanted to play something else, but I wanted to call you before you went to bed.”

“Awe,” I teased.

He laughed. “Yeah, yeah. I’m cute. I know.”

I chuckled. I shifted under the covers to settle into my bed more. I had a feeling I was going to fall asleep during the call, which usually happened. I knew Ranboo would just hang up once he realized I was asleep.

“So,” he said, “you weren’t planning to have a gamer boyfriend, huh?”

I groaned and rolled my eyes, which made him laugh. “God, I hate that clip. It was funny at first, but now everyone spams me with it as if it’s the funniest shit they’ve ever seen. Like, I get it! I ended up with the exact thing I said I wasn’t going to have!”

“It’s just so ironic. Especially that you said it weeks before we met.”

I rolled onto my back and covered my face with my hands. “I had no intentions of dating when I said it. I’ve never really had a serious relationship, and I wasn’t about to have a public one with another streamer. Twitch relationships are full of all sorts of drama. Except for Ludwig and QT, but he’s a YouTube streamer now so it doesn’t count.”

“For the record, I also wasn’t planning to be in a relationship. I especially didn’t expect to meet someone through Minecraft of all games.”

I chuckled. “Really? Are you telling me Minecraft isn’t the ideal dating site?”

“No, I prefer Club Penguin. I used to get so many bitches on there.”

We laughed together. I looked up at the ceiling and felt my eyes beginning to droop. I wouldn’t have long till I was completely passed out, but I didn’t want to end the phone call just yet. I know I was streaming with him for hours beforehand, but there was a difference between talking to Ranboo while we were streaming and talking to him personally. I didn’t want to end our personal time just yet, even though my body was screaming at me that it was time for sleep.

“I’m glad you didn’t completely close your mind to the idea of - what did they call me? A fluffy haired gamer boyfriend,” he said.

I chuckled. “Yeah, that’s the term exactly.”

“What does that even mean? Why is it so specific of a distinction?”

“Well, think of some of the people you’ve played with. Like...I don’t know...Karl. He’s a wholesome gamer boy with hair that’s considered fluffy. It’s, like, a whole genre of gamer men who aren’t toxic. That’s usually the type of person that other streamers end up with. It’s like the whole golden retreiver-black cat best friend dynamic I told you about once.”

“I still don’t understand how I’m a golden retriever.”

“You don’t have to understand, you just are.”

“Anyways,” he said, “as I was saying. I’m glad that you didn’t close your mind to the idea of a fluffy hair gamer boyfriend. Otherwise I wouldn’t have stood a chance. So, I guess there is some positives to stereotypes and whatnot.”

I sleepily smiled to myself. “I guess there’s not.”

“You sound like you’re falling asleep.”

I had lost the fight in keeping my eyes open. I was just barely registering anything Ranboo was saying to me. I tried to say something back, but it just came out as incoherent mumbling. I heard him chuckle and wish me a goodnight before I let the sleep take me over.

[theosb0rnway]

Ghostface ranking please n thank you

OH MY GOD YES YES YES I LOVE RANKING ALL THE GHOSTIES

My ranking of all 15 Ghostfaces so far (yes.... I'm including Jason and Greg because if I don't, SOMEBODY'S gonna bitch about it I know--)

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR ALL 6 SCREAM FILMS

Rankings under the cut

Stu Macher (Scream)

The BEST Ghostface to ever Ghostface. A BIT underrated just because people will sometimes give Billy more credit. But like- hot man. Has no actual motive for killing, Billy was like "Hey, dude, let's kill people" and he literally needed nothing more. Thought up of some of the key parts of their plan, definitely gutted Casey and Steve, probably put Kenny on the van by himself (Billy wasn't around, so-) . Definitely top 3 or 4 strongest Ghosties to date. And the humor-- okay, I could go ON AND ON about Stu, but I'll stop here. Matthew Lillard really took the character from boring in the script to one of the only parts of the original film me and my mother (who's TERRIFIED of horror films and would rather forget them) remembered from our first watch when I was 13. (She said she'll never forget his laugh and that she hates him. ... She then got me a t-shirt of him not 3 weeks later for Christmas. Sorry, Mom-) Great job, man! Stu stole my heart, LOTS of my money, and a large part of my brain, so it's safe to say he'll always be my fave and an icon in my eyes. (Literally wearing my Stu shirt as I type this, what a fun coincidence LOL-)

2. Charlie Walker (Scream 4)

I said what I said. People either adore Charlie or despise him, and I love him DEARLY. Yes, he's very attractive, but on top of that, he racks up one of the highest kill counts by a single Ghostface alone in the entire franchise, beaten only by Roman, I believe. From Olivia Morris, which was obviously his kill, to tossing Rebecca Walters off a building, to Jenny and Marnie... definitely Robbie... Kirby... Kate Roberts... man just went crazy with the kills, and I respect it. He had loyalty, some great lines, a HILARIOUS deleted scene ( ), and he kept cool under pressure, never revealing himself until absolutely necessary. Do I relate to him? Yep. Is that bad? Probably, but I love him anyways.

3. Jill Roberts (Scream 4)

Another maybe controversial ranking, but I love Jill! I think her motive is fantastic, the way that she uses Charlie to get what she wants, and as someone who has acted innocent in situations where I'm definitely not, her acting is spot on. I never thought about it being her until her reveal, and it's still one of my favorites of all time. She is also, I believe, the Ghostface who got closest to the goal of killing Sidney and getting away with it, so congrats, girl! You had the whole world fooled till the hospital! She's a great take on what I think is the modern version of Billy Loomis, and she nailed the innocent act, truly. Did she kill anyone? Probably, but I can't think of anyone who I know is 100% a Jill Kill. Either way, good for her for not getting her hands dirty, or FOR getting her hands dirty! Impressive no matter what in my mind.

4. Billy Loomis (Scream)

Dont worry, Billy fans, he's still in my top 5! The only reason he's not my third is because I think he's just a BIT overrated. If the movies weren't constantly making him seem like he was the only killer and completely alienating Stu (I think there's a reason for that, but I won't explain that here), then I'd put him above Jill. I know that's a weird reason, but it's my reason. Billy is a fantastic manipulator who knew how to get exactly what he wanted from Sid, and also was a repressed drama queen, which I relate to a lot. While Stu was openly crazy, Billy hid behind the stone cold semi-facade. I don't think Billy would ever have gotten as crazy as Stu did, but he definitely showed the drama in several ways that make me smile and laugh every time. Falling down a flight of stairs? Fucking up Stu's couch cushions? Comedy gold every time. I give Billy credit for stabbing Casey, killing Himbry, and killing Tatum. I think the rest were Stu's because of the gutting and where Billy was at the time. I also think he killed Maureen, so a nice 4ish kills for him! Anyways, top tier Ghostie, another one I'll always respect respect and love.

5. Amber Freeman (Scream 5)

I'm gonna be honest, I hated her when I first watched Scream 5. Hated Richie too, but he's still terrible. Fuck him. I thought Amber was a trashy, third rate version of Stu that was extremely fake and her turn from cold to goofy seemed extremely forced. Then I took a deep dive and figured out why. (If you want a full explanation, let me know, I'm trying to stay short here.) So I believe that Richie is this movie's Stu and Amber is the movie's Billy. From her plans, her using the house, just her very cold, calm demeanor in the beginning, she just gives Billie energy, while Richie is just... well, he's the Netflix guy. He makes jokes left and right. But Amber, I think she was trying to be the Stu while Richie was trying to be the Billy. Everyone forgets that Stu was a boyfriend too, (Billy's) Tatum's boyfriend. Amber was supposed to be Tara's girlfriend in the original script. So now, I see her third act as more of her desperate attempt to look like her idol instead of sticking with the persona that served her well for the rest of the film. That really made me appreciate her more, and made her feel even underutilized, as did the Macher house. (I LOVE THAT HOUSE. I LOVE IT. Well, the actual actual house, not the Scream 5 version.) So yeah. Amber was a cold blooded killer trying to be just like the Macher before her, even if that wasn't the part she was meant to play in her movie. Taking credit for Dewey's kill? Absolutely. She was in the cult and she just wanted to piss Gale off by saying she did it. Fantastic lines, wonderful creep factor! Her death- *chef's kiss* Lovely homage to Sidney shooting Billy. And that's my top 5!

6. Quinn Bailey (Scream 6)

The only member of that damn family who did a good job killing. Richie included. Funny? Check. Didn't see her coming? Check. Ruthless? Double check. I don't think she did Gale's attack either, I think that just like Amber, she took the blame for someone else's work just to keep them hidden. Besides that, she was a good character, someone you thought was long gone until she wasn't. Bonus points for her saying Stu was her fave and definitely being the one to stab Mindy on the subway. Maybe not the greatest Ghostie ever, certainly low on kills, but I enjoy watching her a lot.

7. Nancy Loomis, aka "Debbie Salt" (Scream 2)

Another hidden killer who deserved more screen time after her reveal, and more backstory. I love her motive of "good, old-fashioned revenge", and I can see her killing Randy out of rage. Killing Mickey? Nice way to keep things in her favor! Debbie Salt was eh. Don't remember her much tbh- I would've liked to see Nancy more as herself, she just had great potential. Did she take some kills? Absolutely. Got her hands dirty to honor her son. But that's what I don't like. She leaves Hank, then suddenly after Billy dies, she's like the best mother ever?? Killing for the son SHE left?? Her leaving is the reason Scream happened, paired with Maureen and Hank's infidelity-- that's why she's a solid 7 in my book, and the best of the worst. Only goes downhill from here, folks.

8. Mickey Altieri (Scream 2)

GREAT in the Act 3. Other than that? Um... he was okay, I guess? He had some funny lines, but where I really like him is in the possibility possibility of what he's done. He definitely killed for Nancy, he was insane and just wanted people to see him that way. He DID talk to Matthew Lillard in the background of the sorority party... Mickey and Stu working together?? His Act 3 was good, he showed he could be a good Ghostface, scared Sidney, killed Derek... but that's where this ranking and my positive comments about him stop.

9. Wayne Bailey (Scream 6)

Classic parent who wants revenge, angry, pulls it off decently. He has some good moments, funny, a definite suspect, and nowhere near as good a cop as Dewey. Points for trapping the Core 4 (minus Mindy) and Kirby in the second coolest location in the franchise, but that's where my positivity stops. Sam killed him easy, he was a shit parent until Richie died I bet. Did he get his kids to murder? Oh yeah, I think he's the one who made this whole plan up with Quinn and Ethan's help. He doesn't really stand out. Did he kill?? Even wear the fucking mask?? I honestly don't think so. I would put him lower, but compared to the next three... yeah, he's fine at 9.

10. Richie Kirsch (Scream 5)

WHYYYY. WHY. The only goof thing I can say is that like 5 of his lines made me laugh, and he also hates Stab 8. Me too, dude, that looks BAD. Motive? Pretty good, solid movie motive, getting with Sam to get the job done. Ruthless? Yeah. But he's sloppy. He's a Stu without the magic, just trying to make a movie. Him dating Amber?? *vomits* KILL ME NOW. He was 100% manipulated by her, I know he was. A sad attempt of Billy Loomis that leaned more towards Stu, and his cheesy shit throughout the film made his "true colors" seem kinda dull and not very scary. I don't like him. I don't.

11. Ethan Landry [Bailey] (Scream 6)

Like father, like sons!- all in my least favorite 5 of legitimate Ghostfaces. How much screen time did he have?? Not enough. Innocent guy, "I was in Econ!" to "HAHAHA I'M INSANE NOW!!"? I hate it. His transition was too forced, he was bland and stupid, his attempts at faking his knowledge about everything were embarrassing and made him look worse as a character. The easiest Ghostface to spot. I don't know, I mean I get people like him because he's insane and attractive, but I don't. Sorry to all of you who love this guy and his family. His best scene? When Tara stabbed him in the mouth. You go, queen!!

13. Roman Bridger (Scream 3)

Fuck. FUCK. I hate him, I hate this movie, I hate it all. His motive is pretty solid, I actually like it a lot... but he was stuck up, whiney, and underutilized. Like Ethan, low screen time, unbelievable shift from loser to villain- did he even share a scene with Sid?? Talk to her?? And this makes Billy and Stu look like lackeys. I HATE IT. I would've much rather had the Stu leading a Ghostface cult film, but I know why they went this route instead, and I respect that. Like Ethan, the best part about him, and of this movie, is his death. Dewey missing his head like 5ish times before finally hearing Sid and going for the head Thor in Endgame style?? Comedy. GOLD. I love Dewey Riley. But yeah, I just don't like Roman at all. His strengths are his motive, his INSANE kill count (I think he had an accomplice.), and his physical strength. Besides those? Useless. Sorry, Roman die-hards.

14. Jason Carvey (Scream 6)

Not bad for a Ghostface killed in the first 15 minutes. He had the makings of a good killer, definitely in the cult, but his time was just extremely short. Nothing much to say about him, but his only kill was a fantastic start to the film. I would put him higher, because I think he WAS a good Ghostface, but... 10 minutes or less of screen time? Sorry dude, don't know you well enough.

15. Greg (Scream 6)

Who?? Saw him a fridge. That's it. What's his last name, I don't remember- No screen time, not even alive on screen. Nothing more to say. He was probably pretty good though, if he was anything like Jason.

And there's my ranking of all 15 Ghostfaces!! If you want to add your own, feel free to below! If you wanna comment on mine, please be respectful, but I'd like to know why you don't like characters I do, or like ones I don't. If your faves are my faves, share!! I love finding new Scream buddies!! And thanks for listening if you made it this far, that was LONG.

[w2soneshots]

im sry if you keep writing stuff about jj but you're literally the only one who is writing for him rn 😭😭

so yeahhh ignore this if you want but can you please write where the reader is a youtuber and is doing a series where she pranks jj (or they prank each other like prank-war type thing idk). so the reader decides on a cheating prank with third person (i dont really mind who, could be in sidemen or troops). the reader and the person pretend to do IT on their bed before jj walks and he sees them then he gets all sad and mad and u can decide what happens after that im not rly sure lmao. preferably happy ending, tyyy love ur fics 💕💕

Prank -KSI

words: 0.6k+

warnings: angst, fake cheating, argument, self doubt.

summary: you perform a prank on JJ with Calfreezy and it goes terribly wrong.

notes: thank you for requesting!! I literally wrote this within an hour of your request because I love the idea so much (I’m only posting it now because I already posted something yesterday). Anyway hope you enjoy🫶🏼🤍

I've known JJ since we were teenagers. We started off as friends, moved to London together, I lived in the sidemen house for a little while and during that time we began dating. He asked me to be his girlfriend and we've been together ever since. I've been doing YouTube for as long as I can remember, that's how me and JJ became friends since not many people did YouTube at that time. I'm also great friends with the rest of the sidemen, Callux and Freezy.

Recently I've been doing a series on my channel where I prank JJ and he started doing it back. It started with little ones like: drawing a beard on him while he slept (because he can't grow one), then he bought a confetti bomb and scared the shit out of me with it. It continued on like that for a few weeks, me and JJ thought it was absolutely hilarious. Recently my comments have been full of people asking me to do a "cheating prank" so I decided to deliver.

I asked Freezy to do it with me since we've always got along well, he thought it would be funny so said yes. I asked him to come round to our apartment just before JJ was due to return home from a sidemen shoot. To make it look "real" but not actually touch each other we decided when we heard JJ open the front door Cal would make it look like he was quickly putting his clothes back on. I set up the camera so it was hidden but faced the bedroom door so it would catch JJ's reaction. Then me and Cal explained what was going to happen for the viewers.

When we heard the door click I jumped under the covers so my head was just peaking out and Cal rushed to take his top off. "y/n?!" JJ shouted through the apartment. I didn't respond. "y/n?" JJ opened the door just as Cal pulled his shirt back over his head. His face went blank as his eyes flickered from me and then back to Cal. "What the fuck are you doing!" He said stepping forward and harshly pushing Cals shoulder so he stumbled back slightly. I actually wasn't expecting him to believe it. I leaped up from the bed. "Woah, JJ it's a prank!" I stammered. His brows furrowed angrily. "Stop lying, I caught you!" He shouted. "No seriously mate, it's a prank." Cal stated. "Look." I lept around the bed to grab the hidden camera and held it up for him to see. His face calmed.

JJ shot a quick apology at Cal then he left, leaving me and JJ alone. We sat on the bed. I gently cupped his face in my hands. "Do you seriously believe I'd ever cheat on you?" I asked calmly. His eyes dropped to his lap but I brought his head higher so he looked me in the eyes. "I just- you're so amazing and I-" he started. I nodded my head telling him to go on. "I still can't believe someone like you would want to be with someone like me." My heart sank. "I love you so much. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you, and I never will." I said quietly. He pulled me into a hug and held me tight. "I'm sorry for reacting like that." He said into the crook of my neck. "No, I shouldn't have done the prank. I didn't think about the fact you might believe it, that was stupid of me." He pulled away "I love you." I smiled "I love you too."

[madness-combat-confessions]

Okay idk if this is the most Obvious shit and im just slow or if theres been an ask about this or something but we need to talk about cloning and the AAHW more imo!!

If the thing about sanf and dei being previous members (and i think doc being confirmed?) then that begs many questions. Jeb and tricky were also members and we know their lore as past scientists for nexus and then jeb was "hired" by auditor and tricky too probably but we dont have a direct confirmation afaik but everyone else is just? Vauge?

Like either A) AAHW has people working for it that are not clones like the mass agents and soldats and engineers and they are never mentioned (which would be stupid imo considering how far we are into the story) or B) they are all clones that dissented which for deimos is yk not far fetched considering his poster outright stating it

BUT THEN THAT BEGS THE ISSUE ON HAND. Everyone that ive seen online considers the agents as personality-less fucking creatures and i think even canon says smt like that about them but like.. if a clone can dissent then they probably Arent as bland as they seem. And even that isnt far fetched, i mean they hold birthdays apparently and play games to pass time. How deep does it go? How much will do they have? They seem to be conditioned to never run when Hank aka (almost) certain death is around which is one thing but are they scared of death? Do they have favorite foods and colors? How human (or in this case grunt) are they? Is it just Some of them that have self awareness/personality? Are they coded to have a personality? If yes is it random or set? Would the AAHW bother to code a random persona generator?? Do they perhaps lose more of their indaviduality/humanity as they progress up on the food chain to be soldats or engineers??

Idk i keep seeing agents n shit in fics and stuff be shown as these sometimes mechanical creatures with 0 varying personality and 0 humanity and it makes me heavily wonder about them. Maybe theyre just a bit dumber than average due to being mass cloned? Shrug. I dont know i think theyre more interesting when considered to be actual people than just. Puppets. They are metaphorical and sorta physical puppets yeah but like they held a birthday man. Fuck. They had a birthday.

Agents keep me up at night.

-anon MMS if i can claim that cuz its funny /opt!!

Glad to know that I'm not the only one who also thinks about the AAHW!

I personally think/headcanon that basically everyone in the AAHW is a clone because anyone that could had been an actual real person is dead (lol). And idk how to explain it but from what I've read they lack S-3LFS, but they still are kinda like people? Like they might just appear like mindless clones who only wanna kill Hank, and they are that don't get me wrong, but I think they also still act like people to some extent (or at least some of them)

I mean one of the agents in MC 9.2 had been writing "We are abandoned " on a wall so to me that says they're capable of understanding their situation and feeling sad (?) about it?

Now I'm not sure on the engineers and the soldats, I mean a soldat literally blew a rocket where their team was because they thought their boss had told them to. Which makes me think two things

1: The AAHW is a bit too blindly devoted to the Auditor. Which is probably because they are clones that were made/'programmed' to be that way.

2: I think that the soldats and the engineers have less "free will" than the agents because of the ATP

There's also something else I wanna talk about

This:

Like hello? What the fuck did this guy do?

From my understanding what is considered a dissenter in this series is someone who goes against the Auditor and the agency. So what did this guy even do? Did he try to betray them like Deimos and Doc did?

Or was it perhaps something minor like not doing their job? Like actually make a decision for their own and don't do what the Auditor says for once, like how an actual person would do?

I wanna say that's a stupid reason to kill one if their agents, but it's a possibility: the Auditor is shown to not really take it kindly when people don't do their job, she literally sliced a grunt in half for it. Even though all the grunt did was play cards with some other agents.

I wouldn't be surprised if this was the case this guy was damned a "dissenter" and killed by the Auditor (or maybe the other members) for that reason.

So taken to account that they are soulless clones but can still 1: celebrate birthdays 2: play games to pass time 3: dislike their shitty ass situation I'd say that they have some personality, it's just that the Auditor is too strict to allow them to show/act like it. Because she doesn't want people with free will in the agency he wants mindless clones who'd do whatever she says.

Does this make sense I swear it does in my head I'm just bad at putting it to words.

[gorebek]

Bro you should def infodump e v e r y t h i n g about your Torbek swap au

only if you wanna of course 👉👈

Its hard to do literally everything because im stupid and cant put thoughts to paper but i can talk about a lot of stuff i have in my head

big disorganized yap session below cut

I plan on drawing a ref EVENTUALLY but some of the core stuff i want to add is gorebek being younger and shorter because he got the operation done a couple years before torbek

and he gets it done willingly so its less of a botch job like toebek the pipes that go through his body are more neat i guess is the best word they look cooler and he has actual clothes that are also adapted for his new additions

im thinking hunter fit like torbek but also idk... I still want to incorporate the suit but idk how i hate designing clothes

For how they met they never had any pre operation interaction like no working at the carnival but he was released post operation like hey go hunt people trying to fuck with us and given the carnivals whereabouts or something idk and when he gets to the inn and threatens them and powers up torbek fronts and just immediately starts crying and hides gricko is the first to reach out and realize hey this dude is pretty chill and then they take care of torbek until gorebek fronts again

Gorebek in this is probably like early ouaw torbek whos very new to things and the world torbek is that but way worse they both only know operations and experiments and whatever they were told without really experiencing the outside world while gorebek socialized torbek literally never has in his existence (himself, probably has cofronted and seen gorebek talk but its different)

idk how exactly this would go but i feel like he would follow them at first after the fight being like yess yes evil secret intel and slowly get accepted into the found family realizing they actually care for him and dont treat him like a creature to test on unlike insert evil people (release the duke backstory after hiatus so i can make this more accurate pls ouaw)

i think this process would be WAY way longer for gorebek then it is for torbek torbek probably fronts more often and connects with everyone while gorebek rarely lets himself get the chance to bond with anyone

in this i dont think gorbek is like explicitly evil i think he is acting on his beliefs and can be more connected to the carnival then canon gore

but i think that connection will be very co dependent after being held for so long and being told he was a tool he would probably crave that feeling of being needed again even if its warped and fucked up and probably act out but also crave love and the acceptance like torbek gets so gorebeks relationships would all be extremely hot and cold and constantly changing while torbek is just chilling (mostly)

Gorebek is also very self destructive i can see a shit ton of stuff they do being fucked up because gorbeks ego takes over or he just doesnt care what happens to him or those around him and when torbek is fronting for quests hes just clumsy and still very unaware and fucks it up like that

In canon ouaw torbek gets smarter and more leader-y even if the group doesnt wanna go with what he says and i think gorebek would try to be like this but fail he would definitely get smarter and learn a lot but leader-y not so much i dont think he would plan anything and fail because of it

Talking about reverse gorebek makes me want to talk about canon gorebek parallels and how i think canon gorebek plans everything meticulously and is an extremely good leader because hes given the skills to because he doesn't front he controls the witchlight while reverse was thrown to the wolves without developing skills because he cant harvest it like torbek can but torbek was given up on like canon torbek and just kinda tossed out as well idk idk

I did not reread any of this sorry if theres a bunch of mistakes im just ranting

[gokubrain]

hello!! i wanted to ask what you think about the cell arc and cell in general :-) it’s my absolute favorite arc and i just love cell so much, i don’t have anyone to discuss my dragon ball thoughts with so i’m excited to hear what you have to say😄

HELLO i have lots to say so buckle in LOL

overall, when ranking the Z arcs, i unfortunately have to put cell arc at the bottom. THAT DOESN’T MEAN ITS BAD BY ANY MEANS THOUGH !!! i love the cell arc, i love cell, i love gohan, i love trunks, i love the androids. its just that when i compare it to the other arcs, it falls a little short lol..

i think the reason i rank it so low compared to other arcs largely has to do with goku and vegeta’s (separate) character arcs lol. it’s both of their WORST arcs by far. neither of them are ever present, and when they are present… theyre not making the best decisions lmfao specifically vegeta man i cannot STAND him in cell arc he really really gets on my nerves. goku is more understandable and requires a deeper explanation but vegeta simply just SUCKS in this arc lmfao

this is gohan’s best arc tho by far. and if ur a fan of side characters like piccolo and krillin then cell arc is a great arc for u ! this is basically everyone’s best arc but goku n vegeta lolol

dont even get me started on cell himself.. >_< 💕 he’s such a handsome guy lol there’s a lot of weird homosexual tension between him and goku for some reason IM NOT COMPLAINING THO i eat that shit up im a cellku lover til death 🔥✊

also i love trunks so much omg literally one of the best characters in fiction period. full stop. i adore that boy 🫶

i guess i’ll discuss the goku senzu scene too LMFAO .. since it needs to be said…… people are incredibly harsh on goku for giving cell a senzu bean. like, TOO harsh. he wasn’t doing it maliciously and he wasn’t doing it out of stupidity, as everyone in this dumbass fandom claims. goku is smart okay if you disagree thats fine but ur wrong, he’s very smart when it comes to battle and he wasn’t really considering gohan’s feelings about fighting when planning to awaken ssj2 in him. like .. okay .. the way i see it is that goku’s whole existence revolves around fighting and battle and growing stronger. its all he thinks about all day every day. and to want his son to be as strong as he can be isn’t an act of selfishness, it’s goku’s way of trying to help and bond with gohan. his heart is in the right place seriously he isnt trying to be selfish at all its just… actually a very smart way to approach it, its just that goku wasn’t really considering what gohan wanted because he couldnt fathom anyone not wanting to grow in strength.. he is proud of gohan and wants him to be the best he can be.. idc idc goku is a good dad. we all fuck up sometimes okay he’s a way better dad than fucking vegeta by any and all measure i’m sorry its true tho lol i’d go into this more but i feel kinda weird having this whole analysis of one scene in the middle of this otherwise brief arc review so 😭 i’ll move on

all in all cell arc is rly great, theres constantly shit happening and everyone is in deep distress 100% of the time which is rly entertaining to watch lmao its also a great arc for a lot of characters, other z fighters who arent goku and vegeta get the chance to shine in this arc and thats epic. unfortunately tho vegeta is unbearable and goku is …. debatably questionable in this arc so it goes at the bottom for me 💔 still adore it tho

[show-us-kaidenshenandoah]

as a born-n-raised southern Californian (specifically the area around LA + Hollywood, which is relevant), Chappell Roan's California messes me up in a subtly in the lyrics i dont think non-Californians will get (or at least people who DON'T live in a climate that is similar to what we got going on in that vague LA, Hollywood, valley-area)

like everybody who loves this song knows the whole 🎶"No leave are brown"🎶 lyric is a reference to California Dreamin' by The Mamas & The Papas' lyric 🎶"The leaves are brown and the sky is gray"🎶 and that is true

and, this will seem like a tangent but i have point: im Indigenous American, and i will seldom stand up for the USA against other countries' criticisms (tho i do have "glass houses, my guy. have you checked if you live in one?" thoughts about it, but that'd be SUPER tangential to get into); but i DO feel my hands turn to fists when anyone, an American from another territory or a foreigner from any other country, pokes judgementally at California. like i either have or almost have unsubbed from youtubers or tiktokers who have voiced bitter opinions about California. and i mention this bc those people would probably joke "lol 🎶'no leaves are brown'🎶 bc, in California, they are plastic, their trees' leaves cannot turn brown" liKE?? FUCK YOU, NO. THAT'S ACTUALLY KINDA THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY HERE. BITE ME. YOU DONT GET IT

bc that line, 🎶"No leaves are brown"🎶 has a different impact as someone who has grown up in the relative area she is singing about

but if either you yourself or else your parents/guardians/older family members were in California in even the 80s, much less the 70s or earlier... you know fire-season is a brand new thing we have to deal with it. you know drought-season is the same. it's a weird political thing where they try to normalize for us these global-warming things, make us less scared of them if we see them as cyclical

which might be a surprise for non-Californians, as many have this odd image of California as "both a city and a desert × beach" when it's not. it's got cities, yes, it's got a coast, obviously, and it has deserts, yeah, AND it has a shit ton of mountains and hills EVERYWHERE, it has valleys, farms, rural mountain towns, "hicks" and "hillbillies" ontop of our 🤟surfer-dudes🏄‍♂️ and influencer/actor-culture stereotypes, ski lodges, boonies, reservations, national parks, and northern California is part of the Pacific North-West, you drive literally in any direction and within 2 to 4 hours, youll be in a whole different climate. this state is so huge that i remember my family trying to do roadtrips to Canada (bc we were too broke to fly, woah, who said that) and itd take over a week to get from my soCal hometown to Washington state alone. and im not that deep south in soCal; LA and whatnot is part of the northern-most area of soCal. it'd still be over a week of driving for 8+ hours. and we'd face sleet, hail, snow, rain, and insane winds on the way. which sounds like im exaggerating, but the reason why we stopped doing those roadtrips was because my mom (who is from MICHIGAN) couldn't stand driving through snow and rain anymore, again, before we even hit Washington state ("if you guys do get rain and snow then why does California still have that on/off drought then?" bc water from norCal doesn't trickle down for a 1+ week through all of central-Cali over in the same buckets to soCal naturally, makes sense)

so we, in this pocket of California Chappell Roan is singing about, arent SUPPOSED to have brown leaves is what im saying. but we are. we have TOO MANY brown leaves, actually. that's what happens to plants in a drought, they brown and die; and then we get at-risk for the false-normalcy that is fire-season. those brown leaves in overabundance is those wildfires' kindling. even in rural mountain-towns where there are evergreen trees, bc LA and Hollywood's area does have mountains that get some HEAVY snow and rain, to the point where houses often get snowed in ("wait, but the drought—?" fam, it just won't come down the mountains. idk why the weather is like that except ✨️general global-warming reasons✨️. and the water doesnt trickle down bc, down the mountains, is so hot normally that a lot of that shit evaporates. sometimes, we get "lucky" and the "global warming happens in extremes both ways" thing means those mountains will get SUCH BAD snow that the hot af valleys can get enough water for the drought to temporarily be "off". but that shit doesnt stick, and thank fuck for that bc these mountain towns cant stand THAT bad snow ALL the time, so the drought comes back), there will still be dead pine-needles and other evergreens in overabundance across these woods' floor, and more and more and more will fall bc the nature of a drought and how HOT it gets and that shit can catch on fire EASY

and let's pretend for a second that there are no rural mountain towns in the LA and Hollywood region (there are) but let's pretend there arent. i grew up in a college-town full of trees, at least one per house, in the valley of that region. we still get seasons. flowers bloom, red and orange leaves, brown leaves, leaflessly bare trees, i just personally never experienced snow in my hometown. i grew up associating winter with rain, and i genuinely frowned in upset if i didnt get rain on Christmas (still do. even when i wasnt in my hometown. rainy Christmas beats "white Christmas" or "green Christmas" every time for me). so we do get seasons, we still get all the trees' seasonal forms. we just are also heavy on "throw your leaves away, rake it all up, fire-season is around the corner!" types of stuff

but even if you went with stereotypical "oh, but the palm trees tho?" type of trees, in a fantasy where that's somehow the only tree in California: that shit is ever-green, but that doesn't mean it is plastic. the leaves still brown and fall. we just p immediately get rid of them since they're SO BIG that they can cause issues with foot-traffic and are annoying as hell to drive over. so you dont see them too often, not like other ever-greens, where youll easily see a shitton of pine-needles or whatever around. and thank fuck for it, bc rats nest in palm-trees and i always freak about the mostly-irrational fear of one falling by me with a rat; and seeing either a rat die from the fall or the spooked and confused rat possibly attack me. like. to the point that unless i can see a dead palm-tree leaf is fully flat, i give that shit a WIDE berth bc im scared of a spooked or dead rat being under it OR of another leaf falling. and palm-trees being evergreen means those leaves fall all-year-round, randomly, there's no season. so, again, not like that shit is plastic or like it is impossible to see a dead palm-tree leaf around. so that's not the "no leaves here are turning brown, wtf" happening either

and, as a quick aside, before someone from Missouri says it: i am aware y'all ALSO have fire-season/s, burn bans, and your trees sometimes are also unintentionally creating kindling. it's just not AS infamous as California's, because we don't have a "yearly drought" but instead have this 365-day-long drought that has brief "off-periods" of being over before returning in less than 4, 6 months. it's not a competition, bc fire-season is fucked up either way. it's just "we have more dead leaves than y'all nc of that on/off drought" is all im saying. not about how bad/worse whose fire-season is, that shit's fucked. bUT I'LL BRING UP HOW MISSOURI ALSO HAS A FIRE-SEASON, JUST WAIT

so why does this line fuck me up??? if leaves ARE brown in California?

exactly that. (ill explain) (..obviously lol)

i think that's the point of the line 🎶"No leaves are brown"🎶. not that "tee-hee 🤪 california is plastic and never gets seasons 😝 so 'no leaves' CAN 'turn brown' there 😜 heh" kind of "there are NO leaves here turning brown, there's no snow, there's no seasons, everything is 'young' forever" kind of reading. toss that shit out of here, that's not relevant to my personal reading of the song. to me, it's not "none of these leaves are brown"

it's instead "too many of these leaves are brown. leaves are not supposed to be brown all the time" kind of 🎶"No leaves are brown"🎶 (if you need an example of the emphasis shift: we have moved from "No unicorns are here, only horses (unicorns don't exist here)" to more of an "No unicorns are without a horn, there shouldn't just be horses (unicorns do exist here)" type of sentence? bc we have moved from "No leaves are brown, leaves should be turning brown (browning leaves don't exist here)" to instead "No leaves are brown, leaves shouldnt always be brown, leaves should be green in spring and red in autumn (brown leaves exist in overabundance). i hope, if everything else hasn't made the emphasis shift click yet, that breakdown example helps???), like Chappell Roan would— instead of yearning for leaves turning brown and seeing winter— be yearning for leaves turning green, of spring, of rain, of rebirth and youth instead of this "kindling for a fire" (possible phoneix reborn from the ashes) where 🎶"My dying town"🎶 then has a double-meaning of both "my hometown (definition 1: place of your early years) in Missouri is dying (with people like the singer leaving and population dwindling assumedly)" AND "my hometown (definition 2: place of current residence) in California is dying (with brown leaves and fires)". which can then turn the lines about 🎶"Thought I'd be cool in California/I'd make you proud/To think I almost had it going/But I let you down"🎶 and 🎶"Come get me out of California"🎶 to easily twist from "I failed, I messed up" walk-of-shame kind of reasons for why "Thought I'd make you proud by being cool → I let you down" into instead being external reasons of the "This Is Fine" House-On-Fire Dog Meme becoming the "How Could I Ever Think Was Fine?!" House-On-Fire Dog Meme variety. it instead reads as an evacuation, as "i almost got it but all this other stuff happened (like, idk, a wildfire lmao) and i need to leave, help me live, i cant brave this anymore, im sorry for asking for help and letting you down"... with the irony being Missouri ALSO has fire-season. but they just have a fire-season with other forms of weather more consistently everywhere, with less brown leaves. so there is this kind of "Chappell Roan, Missouri isn't where you should run from a fire, there's fires over there too", which just twists the knife about 🎶"My dying town"🎶 for sure since both are capable of burning. but it kind of makes it also more apparent that, hey, both of these places (to live in pursuit of fame OR to live with fame abandoned) will burn away a part of you, and you will panic about the "new devil" and yearn for "the devil you know" twist of "the grass is always greener on the other side". also, the place you grew up will always be special to you and scream of safety in a way. like im saying all this stuff about California, but id write a song wailing about wanting to go back if i ever had to leave it. all of which in turn spins 🎶"'Cause I was never told that I wasn't going to get/The things I want the most/And people always say 'If it hasn't happened yet/Then maybe you should go'"🎶 to now be about wanting to go to Missouri (but can't, as you can hear from the pleas being unanswered and the lack of shift from "Come get me → You've come to get me/I've left/I'm leaving/I'm packing/etc") and people encouraging "maybe you should go to Missouri". but the singer doesnt. Chappell Roan instead writes about someone who wants to leave but isn't leaving. the closest the singer gets is 🎶"Too hard to find reasons to stay/Even true love could not persuade"🎶 but the act of leaving never ACTUALLY happens. the singer pleads but doesn't move. Chappell Roan already wrote about how the singer has 🎶"[T]rade[d] amber clay roads for the/Sea foam and endless sun rays"🎶 and the leaves that are only ever brown and, as a result, will have to remain "stretched across four states" with unanswered pleading

which you could read as "Missouri is mad" and feels "let down" that the singer ever left, not that the singer wasn't able to "be cool in California". i personally see it more as Noah Kahan's You're Going To Go Far 🎶"We ain't angry at you, love/You're the greatest thing we've lost"🎶 and 🎶"The boards will still creak, the leaves will still die/We ain't angry at you, love/We'll be waitin' for you, love/And we'll all be here forever/And we'll all be here forever/You're gonna go far"🎶 or even Chuckie's famous line in Good Will Hunting (1997) about Will's potential that went like "Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way but, in 20 years if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house, watchin' the Patriots games, workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill ya. That's not a threat, that's a fact, I'll fuckin' kill ya. [...] No. No, no no no. Fuck you, you don't owe it to yourself man, you owe it to me. Cuz tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be 50, and I'll still be doin' this shit. And that's all right. That's fine. I mean, you're sittin' on a winnin' lottery ticket. And you're too much of a pussy to cash it in, and that's bullshit. 'Cause I'd do fuckin' anything to have what you got. So would any of these fuckin' guys. It'd be an insult to us if you're still here in 20 years. Hangin' around here is a fuckin' waste of your time" or Cinema Paradiso (1988) scene where Alfredo is saying goodbye to Toto and "Don't come back. Don't think about us. Don't look back. Don't write. Don't give in to nostalgia. Forget us all. If you do and you come back, don't come see me. I won't let you in my house. Understand?"/"Thank you. For everything you've done for me."/"Whatever you end up doing, love it. The way you loved the projection booth when you were a little squirt". albeit i never liked the trope assumption of "small town lives never change", esp to the point that entire towns or states would be "waiting" or "a waste of time". i think the Thing is moreso about "sometimes you have to leave, even for just a while, you just have to leave and nobody is going to bring you back early". im more of a Nina, more of a Breathe, from In The Heights, state of mind than i ever would be "someone comes and gets the singer of Chappell Roan's California themselves". you come back when YOU come back. or else you never do. like i said, id be wailing for California, and i know my health will force me to leave it someday since i cant live well in this heat, so im definitely not of a "never come back" OR of a "small town/states are lesser" lens or whatever. but rather that kind of "everybody wants the best for you so badly, for you to at least leave for a while bc thats the best thing for you, that theyll ignore your pleading until you yourself make ACTUAL moves to come back. to follow your dreams, even if it is just for a while and then your dreams or means change, then you must follow that shit wholeheartedly". even though all the examples i gave are of people implied to have never came back, or practically never, if i remember right, in the case of Toto who does briefly return for Alfredo's funeral before returning to his new home elsewhere in Italy. still. my overall point is i dont think the singer's pleas being ignored is malicious. i believe the singer has the agency to leave, and is just momentarily scared of something external that isnt actually That New, but is scared of actually returning (and thereby doesnt use their own agency to evacuate) bc doing so/having left in the first place feels like letting Missouri down...

anyway.

i have a lot of thoughts about California is, i guess, the moral of the story(?). and this song wrecks me to pieces in a way that i dont think a lot of people outside of my homestate will get, yet everyone DOES get with You're Going To Go Far, Breathe from In The Heights, Good Will Hunting, and Cinema Paradiso... not to mention how many double-meanings the ambiguity of these lines have, and how it isn't as straight-forward a song as many assume, and that is BEAUTIFUL. but people keep interpreting what 🎶"No leaves are brown"🎶 means (aka: the plastic trees people) in ways that piss me off so now y'all get this essay

(anyway should i mention how ive wondered before if The Mamas & The Papas were prophetic in how 🎶"The leaves are brown and the sky is gray"🎶 so easily leads into the Californian brand of fire-season, all about the kindling and smoke?? no? okay lol)

[poohwhin]

woo life update #2 bc i have internet now & am not actually losing my mind.

HELLO ‼️ yeah like end of march/the entirety of april was quite literally the worst time of my life and i am very. tired. a hiatus was vv much needed. (plus i didnt have wifi anyways so its not like i could do much here even i wanted to.)

i’m still not back. bc things are still vv rocky. (& literally stressing myself to death for a month and a half has left me physically ill SKSKSKS). but here are some small things that’ve happened !

1): i don’t have a laptop anymore. so when i do eventually decide to come back art is gonna be in a very weird spot. (im using my mom’s ipad rn but i also dont have an apple pencil so drawing with a stylus is odd).

^ adding onto that point. i also scrapped everything i was working on beforehand. i had already backlogged myself, so having to start using a whole new device just gave me the push to scrap all the ideas i had, and refocus myself. (most of them were just gifts for friends & birthdays i missed. :( but its okay hopefully you guys will have more sksksk).

for the time being i think i’m just gonna be making things i feel like making. ever since i started on tumblr i’ve always treated it like a job bc ive always thought it was unfair to those who followed me, and it was seriously starting to diminish my love for certain things (especially as i got into more things like genshin n honkai; feeling like i had to make an absurd amount of content everyday so things seemed ‘fair’ really just tanked my mood). but after taking a month break i was like “yo these are my blogs i should just do what i want.” SO ‼️ virek is still around & i’m still working on him, but there isn’t any set schedule bc i like a lot of things rn, and am just only gonna work on him when i’m in the right mood 🫂 (i don’t wanna end up hating him)

2): i’ve gotten really into honkai star rail & am already close to doing everything there is to do. so now i have more old people in my arsenal to draw.

not much has happened besides me sleeping/gaming to distract from literally everything else going on in my life. so forgive me for my absence 🫶 but hopefully i’ll be doing a lot better when i come back <3 (again the hiatus was. much needed. bc anyone who speaks to me literally ever knows that i can never actually take a break. thankfully this time i was forced to <3. and still kinda am bc our wifi is kicking on and off still & is vv janky but ANYWAYS. ILY GUYS 🫶 GIVE ME LIKE ANOTHER HALF YEAR AND I’LL BE BACK AND NOT GOING INSANE /j)