#n e way over the whole of last week i did 4 patients and today i did 3 in one day so :D ive got a good confident boost rn

[truthundressing]

all my colleagues talking abt pay day and im here doing half their work like🧍

[spookysmujer]

All the Stars, O. Diaz

Summary: After having a stressful week dealing with the Santos, you try to make Oscar feel relaxed enough to get him to open up.

word count: 1.3K

warnings: cute s h e t, fluff, vulnerability

a/n: Hello babes, I am putting in some weRk over these next few days! Also who has been super excited after hearing it’s official: ON MY BLOCK SEASON 4 IS HAPPENING. Our papichulo returns! Don’t worry, angst coming up next, some smut and the whole spiel, hehe. As always please: follow the blog, heart/comment/reblog my work and turn on notifications for when I post new content! 

requested by @justatiredfool

(gif belongs to unknown 🥺)

You were told you were silly to move in with Oscar during senior year of high school. That you had to be knocked up. Even though your parents gave you the OK, they always made it their mission to remind you that there are more important things in life than having a boyfriend. But no one understood just how deeply you connected with him. And to those who claimed it wouldn’t last, here you are 5 years later.

And with living at the Santo trap house came with its occasional inconveniences. Such as Oscar having the stress of ‘work’ follow him home all the time. And mostly, there was no problem in solving them. He did his best to separate business and pleasure. But there were days where he couldn’t and it would take a toll on your relationship. Days like today, so you want to help him relax and relinquish any stress.

When he gets home, he stops in the kitchen to press a kiss to the top of your head. He goes to the bedroom and strips down to his white tank and basketball shorts. You take the liberty to get him a beer, he thanks you with a touch when you hand it to him, “Long day?”

He hums in response as you run your hand over his head, he loves the feeling of you touching him. Touch for him is his love language rather than speaking. Which no doubt was hard for you in the beginning considering that for you, you were heavy in verbal communication. You need lots of reassurance and it was a big adjustment to learn that he likes to reassure you in a different way. 

After mindlessly thinking, you reach over and take the remote to turn off the tv. He scrunches his eyebrows together and looks at you, “Com’n, let’s go.”

“Go where? I just got home, com’n.” You gather your purse and go stand by the doorway, looking back at Oscar who is still laying back on the bed. He looks at you, trying to tell you I ain’t going nowhere with his eyes. But your eyes tend to be more deadly than his. He groans before getting up and grabbing his wallet, “You don’t need it, let’s go tortuga.” 

He pinches your behind as he approaches you, you squeal a little as you get away. Though he didn’t want to, Oscar knows there are days where you don’t see him much except for when he climbs into bed next to you. So instead of complaining, he just follows in pursuit. 

You snatch the keys from his hand and jump into the driver’s seat. He won’t admit it but he loves to see you drive his car, it wasn’t always that way but to see you leant back, wind in your hair and head bopping to music, it’s a sight for sore eyes. Oscar keeps quiet as co-pilot and lets you take him to wherever you have planned.

Oscar doesn’t think anything when you pull up at a taco truck, you tell him to wait in the car that you phone ordered food for the two of you. When you get back to the car, he half expects for the two of you to eat in the car. However, you place the bag of food in the back seat and take off again. You drive for a bit more, taking a turn pass the sign that says “Hollywood Sign Ahead”. Most tourists have a designated area to part and hike near it. You know a way to drive up to it. Call it your rebel memory of high school. “Where are you taking me, hm?”

You look over at Oscar and smile, continuing the drive in silence. Oscar quirks his eyebrows when pulled up near a cliffside. He looks to you then tries to look over the ledge, “Com’n.” And when you walk over to his side to pull him closer to the edge, he feels a certain weight leave his shoulders. The sight is literally breathtaking. Los Angeles in a whole view makes everything that has been happening seem so miniscule. He lefts out a breath, closing his eyes for a moment. 

“That’s why I brought you here. That release of breath you just let out that you have been holding in for God knows how long. Up here it’s different from the beach, down there you can release it but still gotta be cautious. Here, there is literally no one to see you be… you.” He keeps looking at the bustling city below. A small smile forms on his lips before looking at you. His hand cups your cheek, thumb gently gliding across the warm skin. You melt into his touch and smile.

So you both get comfy of the hood of his car and get to grubbing on the tacos. It’s nothing but silence as you eat first. You want Oscar to feel comfortable in this safe space. You have learned that the best way some people release all the pent up frustration is in silence while in the presence of others. It seemed out to you when you learnt this but sometimes it’s just another's presence that can be a tremendous help.

He finishes first and you offer your other taco, he denies it and chugs the rest of his drink. “Cuchillos put me second in command. Lots of new territories to cover. More business to handle and it’s been a fucking rough trip so far. Turning against long time allies. Taking fathers from little ones. I knew what I was getting when taking on the job but…” He shrugs, clearing his throat. 

You watch him closely and quietly sighed. Not pushing him to talk more, you wait it out patiently. “I just need to know you can stick it out with me during times like this.” He says and you stop chewing your food, taken back a bit.

Oscar finally looks at you and you swallow. You set your food down to slide off the hood to stand in front of him. He watches as you step between his legs, he looks at your lips as you rest your hand on his thighs. “Remember when we had that pregnancy scare half way into senior year? Or when Cesar ran off from us at the fair? We didn’t know what to expect to have next then, just like you don’t know right now. But we always did something that no matter the outcome we knew we’d be okay, we always stuck together and did our best. I am here. I am not going anywhere, I won’t run when the going gets rough. When every single day life tries to throw us a curveball, I’m gonna be right next to you. I promise you that.”

Those special moments in life that automatically engrain themselves into your brain, the times where it becomes such a significant moment that you can later anchor yourself to. And right now is one of those moments. Oscar knew from the get go that you would remain a faithful companion in his life the moment you took a leap and moved in with him. Unknown where the future could lead the two of you. Here you are in the moment that you never saw coming all those years ago.

“Thank you.” He grabs your hand and presses a kiss on the back of it. You blush as he pulls your arm around him to get a hug. Oscar inhales your scent which has always consisted of vanilla and brown sugar. The feeling of your embrace keeps him at bay with the uncontrolled thoughts. The two of you share a few kisses, “Despite all this shit, it’s not a bad thought you know.” He tells you and you look at him quizzically. 

He chuckles, “A baby, you pregnant. Doesn’t sound bad at all.”

The warmth in your cheeks makes you look away shyly. But the condensation that spread across the windows later showed no signs of shyness. 

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[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

S.T. REWRITE - S2:E8; Chapter Eight, The Mind Flayer - [Pt. 4]

A Will Byers x Reader Series

An unlikely hero steps forward when a deadly development puts the Hawkins Lab on lockdown, trapping Will and several others inside.

||3rd Person POV||

Scattered amongst the Byers house, the group of survivors mill about, processing the newest development as a whole. The party occupies the dining table, aside from Y/n who has positioned herself on the floor by the end of the couch where her best friend and crush lay unconscious. She sits with her legs folded beneath her, and her body leaning against the arm of the couch, happy to be sitting down and letting her legs and feet properly rest for the first time all day. It didn't help her exhaustion much either that she was still processing the information that Hopper had given them on the drive over.

Her last conversation with Will runs over in her mind, and despite the taste of pain and rejection it leaves on her tongue, a strong pull in her gut tells her to be patient. It isn't really him. And more than anything, she knows she can't leave him again. Something deep inside her told her to be nearby.

Jonathan is beside her, kneeling at Will's side with one hand on his brother's arm and the other kindly stroking the hair away from Will's paled and clammy face. Nancy stands just to the side, a comforting hand on his shoulder and a pained look on her face. She can't help but feel a deep sympathetic ache in her heart, not only for the poor young boy caught in the middle of such a tremendous disaster but the visible toll it puts on his loved ones.

"Hey," Jonathan croaks to his unconscious brother. "Hey there, it's me. I'm sorry, bud. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I should have been here."

Y/n's watery e/c eyes move to Jonathan and she feels a large spike through her heart at his words. While she does not entirely understand where the two teenagers were during the past few days, she doesn't need to know for her to feel the weight of his words on her heart. She knows all too well the feeling, the overwhelming guilt, and regret that she hadn't stayed with him.

She should have known, or at the very least she should have come back. And had she never left, would she ever have had her trip with El? Once again she has to correct herself on her friend's name, Jane is what she went by now. Either way, the question brought too many unwanted scenarios flooding her mind, so she casts away the thoughts, focusing on the moment. Instead, Y/n's attention drifts to the Chief's agitated voice as he stomps anxiously back and forth, gripping the telephone.

"Sam Owens. Dr. Sam Owens,"

There's another beat of silence apart from the muffled and garbled voice on the other end.

"I don't know how many people are there," Hopper snaps. "I don't know how many people are left alive!"

A strained sigh leaves Steve's lungs and he folds his arms over his chest, continuing his pacing in the kitchen.

"I am the police!" The man barks back into the phone. "Chief Jim Hopper!"

Y/n's head lifts sluggishly off the arm of the couch, and she watches glumly as he tries to contact help. Though deep down she knows they are alone. He scoffs, shuffling back to the wall where the phone was mounted.

"Yes, the number that I gave you, yes... 6767... I will be here,"

Hopper slams the phone back onto the hook, and the shrill 'ding' of the phone fades out in the air. Dustin meets the man's eye, thinking the same thing as his sister.

"They didn't believe you, did they?"

"We'll see."

"'We'll see'?" Mike retorts. "We can't just sit here while those things are loose!"

"We stay here, and we wait for help," Hopper growled, his voice low. Hopper does not give Mike another chance to speak and he stalks off down the hall. Upon arrival, he had taken a headcount, and it didn't take long for him to realize they were now one head short. His instincts correctly lead him to the end of the hall, and he stops at the only closed door. Her door.

He knocks softly, and unsurprisingly, he receives no answer. Tentatively, he opens it, and it parts with a defining creak. His shoulders slump sadly at the sight of her, she sits on the end of her bed, draped in a knitted blanket and is staring numbly at the floor.

With a heavy heart, he lumbers across the room and takes a seat on the floor in front of her. He grunts softly as he settles in against the wooden dresser that presses into his spine. But he does not move, nor does he say a single word. He knows that there is nothing he can say to her that will fix anything, cause he knows, Hawkins lost a good man today.

His heart breaks for her as a weak and tired sob shakes her body. All he can do for her is be there, and as he does so he too can feel the tremendous loss Bob had left with them.

It was a loss that touched everyone that night. Once Hopper had ended the phone call and disappeared down the hall, not a single person spoke. The entire house was bathed in a heavy silence that weighed down their hearts and dimmed all hope. Not so much the loss of a good man, but the crushing reality of the situation they all now face. No matter the terrors that Will and the others had faced the previous year, as horrible as they were, were dwarfed in comparison to the grim truth.

No one was safe now.

Mike tore his eyes away from the table he sat at, his mind playing back the short amount of time he had spent with Bob. His eyes were pulled along the walls as they traced the puzzle of tunnels the man had helped them solve just hours ago. His eyes took him across the room to one of many locations they had mapped out, the Eno River that ran just past Y/n by the couch. His gaze halted when he saw her, she was now at Will's side, still slumped over with her weight against the couch and her eyes numbly grazing over Will, making sure he was okay.

He tried his hardest to brush away the ache in his chest as he saw the way she looked at Will. Not out of jealously for her or her affection, but it reminded him all too well of the night he last saw El. Just before she vanished with the Demogorgan, when he stayed by her side, hiding her away from the danger for as long as he could. The look on Y/n's face, the worry her eyes held, and her loyalty to the one she cared so deeply for was not something foreign to Mike.

It was an expression he wore several times in the week El had been apart of his life. And it was the overall fear and dedication he felt towards her when the bad men almost got her. How ill she had become, the turmoil and strain that she had been subjected to her entire life, and then some just to save him. The longing he felt just for her to be okay. And it was this longing he saw between Y/n and Will, and now more than ever he wished El was with him. She would understand.

Finally, Mike looks away, unable to dwell on the sight much longer. That's when he spots the forgotten pile of puzzles Bob had brought for Will. He feels another painful prick of sadness at the sight; the remains of one of countless good gestures.

He rises to his feet and trudges towards the pile of puzzles, limply picking up the blue plastic Soma cube. A sullen look crosses his face as he stares at it, thinking back to the conversation from the previous day.

"Did you guys know that Bob was the original founder of Hawkins AV?"

Lucas picks up his head, as does the rest of the founding Party. "Really?"

"He petitioned the school to start it and everything. Then he had a fund-raiser for equipment." He looked to Dustin, in particular. "Mr. Clarke learned everything from him. Pretty awesome, right?"

Choruses of agreement rippled through the party, and Mike returned to the table with the puzzle in hand.

"We can't let him die in vain."

Y/n's gaze breaks away from Mike and her friends, returning one last time to Will's sleeping form. She rises to stand on her knees, keeping one ear on the conversation as she hesitates to leave.

"Well, what do you want to do, Mike?" Dustin asks pointedly. "The Chief's right on this."

Y/n's hand falls on Will's hand out of reflex, signaling to him with a single squeeze that she had to leave, but she'd be nearby. He does not react immediately in his unconscious state, but his hand under hers begins to twitch, trying to pull away. She frowns at this, a strong sense of déjà vu washing over her though this time she does not jump back. Instead, she pulls her hand away, and rises to her feet, a spark of interest in her eyes as pieces begin to fall into place.

"We can't stop those Demodogs on our own." Dustin finishes.

"Demodogs?" Max asked, less than impressed.

Dustin looks around at his friends expectantly, disappointed in their lack of enthusiasm for the nickname. A look that was not lost even on his own sister that had joined the table, standing next to Mike.

"Demogorgan, dogs," he explained with both hands, pushing them together so his palms met. "Demodogs. It's like a compound. A play on words-"

"Okay," Max conceded.

"I mean, when it was just Dart, totally," He gestured to Y/n briefly. "But there's an army now. We don't stand a chance, not even with Y/n."

The group, including Steve, nods in agreement, aside from Mike whose brow molded into a confused frown. "Wait, say that again?"

Y/n was once again reminded of the secret she was forced to harbor, and winces involuntarily knowing she has to avoid telling him. Quickly, her mind jumps to Darts escape only days ago.

"Remember what happened when Dart got loose? What I accidentally did?" She asks, breaking her silence since her arrival.

His mind flashes to that day, a flicker of confusion contorts his face before it settles on a look of intrigue. "You mean, that weird thing you did with your hands?"

A dry laugh leaves her throat and she nods. "Yeah, you could say that. Point is, I've... gotten some practice at it."

"Yeah, man," Lucas cuts in, fighting back an impressed smile. "You should have seen it, she fought off a couple of those things,"

"Demodogs," Dustin mumbled, earning an annoyed glare from his friend. "Whatever man, it doesn't matter. What matters is how we defeat an entire army of... Demodogs."

"His army," Mike mumbles, something clicking in his mind.

"Huh?" Y/n asks.

"What do you mean?" Steve asks, pushing himself off the fridge he was previously leaning on.

Mike meets the older boys' eye, excitement growing in his demeanor as it all began to fall into place.

"His army," Mike repeats, raising several brows. "Maybe if we stop him, we can stop his army, too."

Without a word, he turns and marches down the hall towards Will's room; the last place he saw the drawing. The rest curiously follow, and Mike thrusts the drawing into Dustin's hands, the others circle him to catch a glimpse. An icy chill runs down Y/n's spine when she recognizes the drawing from her last visit.

"The shadow monster," Dustin murmurs.

Mike nods. "It got Will that day on the field. The doctor said it was like a virus, and it infected him."

Max nods along, her brows knitted together in thought. "And so this virus, it's what's connecting him to the tunnels?"

"To the tunnels, to the monsters, to the Upside Down, to everything."

"'Kay, woah, woah, woah," Steve urges, taking the paper from Dustin to examine it. "Slow down, slow down,"

"Okay, so, the shadow monster's inside Will," Mike explains. "And if the vines feel something like pain, then so does Will."

"And so does Dart," Lucas adds.

"Yeah, it's like what Mr. Clarke taught us. The hive mind."

"Hive mind?" Steve asks.

"It's some sort of collective conscious," Y/n answers.

Dustin nods eagerly, finishing her thought. "Basically, it's this super-organism."

"And this is the thing that controls everything," Mike says, pointing to the monster in Will's drawing. "It's the brain."

Dustin becomes entranced at the creature, his eyes stretching wide as he recalls something. "Like the Mind Flayer,"

Lucas snaps his fingers suddenly, his eyes widening as large as Dustins and they share a knowing fearful look. A grave look befalls the original members of the party, recognizing the evil creature they had fought on so few campaigns. It was damn hard to fight, and near impossible to defeat with no casualties. It was their greatest challenge.

Steve and Max wear a similar frown, speaking simultaneously, completely lost. "What?"

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

Will's D&D handbook is thrown into the center of the kitchen table, creating a loud 'thwack' as the hardcover meets the surface. In the center of the pages is an illustration of the cloaked figure with an angled head. It had large beady eyes and where the mouth should be, were several long tentacles, not unlike Will's drawing.

"The Mind Flayer,"

Dustin looks around the table, addressing the group. Everyone was now gathered together in the kitchen, aside from Joyce.

"The hell is that?" Hopper asked tiredly.

"It's a monster from an unknown dimension. It's so ancient that it doesn't even know it's true home. Okay, it enslaves races from other dimensions by taking over their brain with its highly developed psionic powers."

The Chief lets out a heavy sigh.

"Oh my god," he grumbles, gesturing to the open book on the table. "This isn't real, this is a kids game."

"N-No, it-it's a manual," Dustin defends. "And it's not pretend. And unless you know something we don't, this is the best metaphor."

"Analogy," Lucas corrects.

"Analogy?" Dustin fires back. "That's what you're worried about right now?"

"Hypocrite," Y/n mumbles.

"-Okay, fine! It's an analogy for understanding whatever the hell this thing is." Dustin continues, unware of his sister's criticism.

Nancy shakes her head from beside Dustin, dismissing the argument and she leans down to examine the book.

"Okay, okay, so this Mind Flamer thing--"

"-Flayer. Mind Flayer." Dustin corrects irritably.

Nancy wears a similar expression and fights an eye roll as she moves on.

"-What does it want?"

"To conquer us, basically. It believes it's the master race."

"Oh, uh," Steve motions for the lost word on his tongue as he makes a connection. "Like, uh, like the Germans!"

Steve receives a room full of vexed expressions. To his right, Dustin looks at him blind-sighted.

"Uh, the Nazis?"

Embarrassed, Steve nods. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, the Nazis."

"Uh, if the Nazis were from another dimension, totally."

Unbeknownst to the rest of the circle, Hopper turns away in disbelief and overwhelmed with great annoyance. He sighs, beginning to rub his eyes, completely exasperated as Dustin continues.

"Uh, it views other races, like us, as inferior to itself."

"It wants to spread and take over other dimensions," Mike adds.

Y/n looks around the table, specifically at those unfamiliar with the beast. "And it won't stop until it gets exactly what it wants, it's relentless."

Lucas nods. "We are talking about the destruction of our world as we know it."

"That's great," Steve sighs, turning away to pace as he continues mumbling to himself. "that's great, that's really great. Jesus!"

Nancy leans forward once more to examine the page, before picking up the manual. "Okay, so, if this thing is like, a brain that's controlling everything, then if we kill it-"

"We kill everything it controls." Mike finishes.

"We win," Dustin nods.

"Theoretically," Lucas reminds them.

Hopper steps forward, taking the book from Nancy, his voice laced with sarcasm. "Great, so how do you kill this thing? Shoot it with fireballs or something?"

Dustin suppresses a laugh and shakes his head. "No. No, no fire-- No fireballs. Uh, you summon an undead army, uh-"

Dustin's excited demeanor falters when he sees the Chief's agitated gaze, and instead stutters through.

"because- uh, because the zombies... you know, uh, don't have brains, an-and the Mind Flayer, it uh, it... likes brains."

Hopper has already closed the book, and Nancy only dawns a perplexed look. Trying to ease the Chief's temper, he shakes his head and shrugs it off.

"It's just a game," Dustin shrugs, meekly.

THUD

Hopper threw the book back down on the table in his anger, turning away.

"The hell are we doing here?" He grumbles to himself.

"I thought we were waiting for your military backup?" He calls after him.

"We are!"

"Even if they come, how are they gonna stop this?" Mike points out. "You can't just shoot this with guns."

"You don't know that! We don't know anything!"

"We know it's already killed everything in that lab-!"

"And we know the monsters are gonna molt again!" Lucas defends.

"And we know that it's only a matter of time before the tunnels spread pass the edge town." Dustin proclaims.

Finally, Y/n jumps in, feeling a swell of confidence. "And we also know that Will is the only host, which means we have to find a way to get the Mind Flayer out of him without killing him. Guns definitely won't accomplish that."

"They're right," a soft broken voice cuts in from the hallway.

Everyone turns to find Joyce, her voice is strained and her eyes are puffy from crying.

"We have to kill it... I want to kill it."

Hopper steps toward her, concerned.

"Me too," Hopper agrees, his voice immediately softer. "Me too, Joyce, okay? But how do we do that? We don't exactly know what we're dealing with here.

"No, we don't," Y/n agrees, a hint of hope in her voice. "But he does."

Everyone watches as Y/n returns to the edge of the living room, her gaze fixed on the small boy on the couch. Her e/c eyes grow soft momentarily at what she sees. She knows the Mind Flayer has almost completely taken over, but deep in sleep, all that's left is Will. Her best friend, the boy who always treated her with such kindness. The boy who had invited her in, the boy who had won her a duck at the arcade just cause she admired it in passing. The boy who never wanted to hurt a soul, and would do anything for the ones he cared for.

"If anyone knows how to destroy this thing, it's him." She looks over her shoulder at Hopper briefly. "We also know that Will has a connection to it. He sees what it sees, and he knows what it knows. He'll know how to defeat him."

"I thought we couldn't trust him anymore?" Max asks. "That he's a spy for the Mind Flayer?"

Y/n shakes her head thoughtfully.

"Not necessarily," she mumbles, growing more excited as a plan begins to form. "Not if we find a way to confuse the Mind Flayer. He won't be able to spy-"

The same thought crosses Mike's mind and he brightens happily, meeting Y/n's eye. "-if he doesn't know where he is!"

Y/n smiles excitedly and nods.

"Exactly."

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Please do not stop fighting for Black Lives! Here is a list of links that I encourage you to explore. As always, links will be in the comments which can be accessed if you are on a computer, OR if you are on mobile, should work so long as you are logged in through the website, not the app. Thank you!

Looking for resources such as books, tv, movies etc to help educate yourself but have limited/none access to obtaining them? Thanks to @ thechekhov   on tumblr for providing such links, there are plenty of other ways to educate ourselves.

1. Netflix released 13th and is now available on YouTube for free!

[link] 2. YouTube also houses plenty of other educational videos. For instance, a 20 minute video on the racial wealth gap

[link] 3. They also recommend googling specifically free anti-racism resources. Podcasts can be one of many such resources. Here is just one such article with a multitude of such resources

[link] HOW TO PROPERLY PROTECT PROTESTORS: I'll still post the link to the video just incase you might need a visual but essentially, it is not enough to blur faces before posting. According to the video, the police do have the tech to unblur and get past this. Instead, download any app that allows you to paste text, specifically emojis, over the picture. Snapchat is a good one. Place the large black square emoji [⬛] over protestors faces AND THEN SCREENSHOT SO IT IS ALL ONE LAYER. Saving as is is not enough as it is still counted as layers. If you post anything from protests make SURE to do this since police are tracking people by photographs and videos.

[link]

Granted, I do not know how credible this is but it is SO worth it to be safe than sorry. I love you guys, and please stay safe 💕💕💕

+++

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[fit-as-fxck]

hi. I have a lengthy update and a story.

Good Evening, Friends. Here’s an update that no one asked for. I continue to feel much, much better. I can credit that to a constant, normalized sleep schedule, a reduction of the constant stress of the last three months and making sure I eat. As far as movement goes that’s exactly what I've been focusing on. m o v e m e n t. This doesn't mean always going to the gym and slamming weights around, this means moving more intuitively and listening to what I want to do and what I need (without putting too much pressure on myself to be rigid with set demands). Some days I take my dog with me to the park while I do outdoor yoga (in preparation for my outdoor classes I always do in the summer). Sometimes I meet up with a friend and hit the trails for an easy run. Sometimes, doing “nothing” is more important and takes precedence. (If you don't want to read this all skip down to the bottom for a lil story I guarantee you’ll want to read.)

Habits/personal: Every morning make it a point to tell myself I'm going to stay present today. That’s my goal. To stay present and take advantage of every moment, and yes, it comes down to actively monitoring my habits. Even things like social media and electronic use impacts us and none of us were given a manual on how to navigate this shifting terrain. So yeah, reading an actual book before bed and shutting down devices actually does make a difference on our mind and body. Sometimes, we have to set rules for ourselves depending on our lives and how we know we respond to things like this. I’m starting a gratitude journal too so that’ll be new journey for me (it’s scientifically proven to lower inflammation in the body). My life is starting to go back to “normal”, finally. I was under intense life stressors for a few months. 

Training: 

I’ve done some easy trail runs with my friend (the one who was my old gym partner). His training is ramping up significantly and mine is just now recovering so I've only been joining him on his easy recovery runs. The first one I did, my legs felt like two ton bricks. It felt like I was running through jello. I’m not embarrassed to say it was just awful. Consider that I spent since October not putting an emphasis on cardio (only some conditioning), so yeah not surprising. The good news is, it only sucks for a little bit and then it gets better. I mean, each run I do I'll never have to redo again lmao. I hate treadmill running unless I'm doing sprints. I always choose outdoor if I can. I haven't done any major strength training and I’ve probably lost a lot of strength but I'm not worried about it. Muscle has a memory. I’m ready to pick up some strength training again but my goals right now are more geared towards movement and cardio (so the strength training will be to support that). And of course, yoga. I love doing more and more of it. It just makes you feel so damn good. Plan: adding cardio in 4 times weekly. Alternating between cycling, running, trail running, moderate intensity and intervals. Finishing with a handful of lifting exercises a couple times a week to stay strong. 

Nutrition:

Like I mentioned, I am making sure to eat. And haven't been too strict about it, like, at all. I’ve been fueling on pb&j’s. (Side note: I am always making sure I keep my caffeine intake low, I feel better without it. I do half-caff coffee mostly.) I’m increasing my workouts since I'm feeling good so my nutrition is going to be shifted to support those goals. I don't want be too extreme so I'll be following an 80/20 diet. 80% clean Whole Foods and 20% Oreos and Snickers (jk). A major pitfall of mine is failing to prepare to have food when I need it. This week, and for the following weeks, I'm meal prepping everything (which I should be doing anyways *glares* @ me). I’m sticking to whole, “clean” foods and following basic nutrition principles. I’m 100% sure you can make progress on nearly any “diet” as long as you follow nutritional fundamentals. I feel better when I eat better anyways. Sometimes we have to go back to basics. Foundations are what we build everything on and any tweaks we do to that foundation are just the “fluff” on top. Don’t want that foundation to have cracks in it, do we? (SO this week I made a homemade Mac and cheese. Most times I burn everything but sometimes my attempts are a slam dunk. I made my own cheese sauce and used half noodles and half shredded cauliflower to increase the volume and MAN IT WAS BOMB. YOU GOTTA TRY IT. YOU COULDNT EVEN TELL THERE WAS CAULIFLOWER IN IT. Sneaky vegetables.) Unfortunately, I'll have to cut out the Mac & cheese and pb&j’s BUT if it’s the weekend and I want a bagel, I'm gonna have a bagel (80/20 ok). I’m prepping things like grass fed beef, vegetables and sweet potates or rice etc (yes, its potates). 

Other (friends/lifestyle/inspo):

So I got a call from my gym buddy this week which I did not expect. When he started working out with me in January(?) he was what you would call “skinny-fat”, which is defined as not looking overweight but also not having any distinguishable muscle tone. Since then he’s put some serious size and strength and totally upped his cardio game. I started him out on some basic training and knowledge and then he continued on his own. When he called me he told me a man approached him in the gym and asked what he was training for. He told him he was training for an iron man (his overall bucket list goal). This is a hefty goal considering he started at ground zero. BUT everyone starts at zero and he is young and you won’t see me telling him he can’t do it. You can do anything you put your mind to. My friend told the guy about how he went down to 135 pounds at his thinnest (dude is like over 6 feet tall) and then went up 65 pounds at his heaviest. Well, they got to talking and this man started telling him about his friends going through BUDS training (SEAL training). And, my friend spilled the beans. He told him that he hadn't told anyone yet but his overall goal was to go out for the Seals. Yeah, aggressive goal. Thats when the guy told him he was special forces (ranger). He told him David Goggins was headed through town and they were all going to dinner with him. Yeah, I know, sounds odd. Anyways, this guy told him that the only difference between him and the ones that made it, was that now it was his turn to do it. That’s it. (Pretty crazy considering like 6% of people that go out for this pass). So my friend told him he “didn’t know anyone”. The guy told him that there were a ton of special forces in this area but they don’t tell you they are unless they want you to know. But, my dude meant he quite literally didn’t. know. anyone. He had lost all his friends when he found out they had different priorities and pretty much has no one around him supporting him on this, which is why he called me when he was astounded this happened. Serendipity, I guess. Put your goals out there into the world with iron conviction and the universe will find a way to meet you halfway. So this guy was 38 I think and didn’t look his age (not that 38 is old..) and told dude that he could probably smoke everyone in this gym and well, he could, based on the workouts he was doing. My friend’s jaw was on the floor with this whole interaction. He told me he was nervous and stumbling over his words and felt like he probably made an ass of himself. He apologized for it, saying he barely got any sleep and was super stressed and the guy said “Who gets sleep? And we’re all stressed.” The guy offered his advice and networking anytime dude sees him in the gym etc. 

We all come from somewhere, we all have dark, broken histories, large goals, even larger struggles etc and feel like our lives consist of constantly trying to pull it together until the day we die but, I swear, you gotta find a way to believe in yourself and even accept your failures. Whats the worst that could happen? You die trying? At least you followed your heart. Just like this dude, out of shape, stumbling, mad at himself because of slow progress but just look back three or four months... He’s strong now and the progress happened because he was patient with himself and didn’t give up even when he felt like it and he’s still not done. More power to him and anyone willing to try. Perhaps the overall goal doesn't matter as much as who we become in the act of trying (thank you Kaylo Littlejohn for that quote). Most times, people just need a positive push in the right direction. Maybe we can focus a little bit more on uplifting and being positive because that shit is contagious. 

[deliverydefresas]

masters of the scene

it’s been months, i know and im very much the sorriest!  this is the penultimate part y’all, so be prepared to either love or hate me more than you already do, lmao (it is shorter than what i was working on, but the next - and last obvs- will be longer i promise)

thank you for being patient with me, i appreciate it a lot! ((not proofread ok)) 

ALSO: today’s article is in the middle of the part bc,,, a little surprise 

in case you’ve missed any part:  1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 + 6.5 | 7

AU: Matteo Balsano is a famous singer who has been crushing on this one girl he saw every day behind a window many years ago, back when he first started recording his debut album and inspired his first big hit, Princesa. Luna Valente, professional Olympic skater turned actress is at a local (and very popular) talk show to promote her breakout movie. This is where it all starts.

“Luna, c’mon, you can’t keep avoiding everyone.”

“I’m not avoiding anyone, Nina.” She replied from her side of the door, scrolling through her e-mails on her laptop, looking for one that was due to arrive that day. As soon as she recognized Tamara’s username, she opened it, sighing as she read her message. ‘It’s done.’

“You aren’t not avoiding anyone either, Luna.”

“A double negation Nina, really, you?”

“It’s been days, L. You can’t possibly keep on sulking, it isn’t healthy. Please.” Luna groaned loudly, tossing her covers to the side as she stood up to open her door. Seconds after, she was engulfed in Nina’s arms.

“You act like you haven’t seen me, Nina. I was out of the room for breakfast this morning.” Her words were mumbled on Nina’s shoulder, who hadn’t let her go yet.

“Well, I haven’t. This… sulky person isn’t you, Luna. You don’t run from your problems, and you don’t shut me out when they appear.” She was almost sure Nina had a scowl on her face, which meant she was truly upset on her behavior, as her best friend didn’t get mad that often.

“I’m not sulking, Nina, I’m just… thinking.” Luna pulled away from the hug, turning to sit on her bed, expecting her friend to follow. She did.

“If you were ‘thinking’, as you say, you’d talk to me, because that’s what we do. And yet, you aren’t. So, you’re sulking.” Her brown eyes showed her worry, her tone turning a lot softer, she wondered, “was it that bad? Whatever he said, was it so bad that you’re here, secluded in your room, avoiding your friends?”

She was deliberately avoiding saying his name. “I don’t know if bad is the correct word, but it was so incredibly awkward, Nina! He- he- he said Princesa was written – well, inspired by me. He spent God knows how long watching me from afar and wrote a song about it, said his label was pressuring him to write songs and when he saw me supporting Simón he used me as inspiration. And now finally he, after years, decided to talk to me and it’s- it’s nice but, I don’t know. It’s all a mess up here.” Luna pointer to her head, falling back to lie on her pillow.

“Why does it bother you?” Nina asked cautiously, as if she was choosing her words carefully. Luna frowned.

“What do you mean?” Quietness.

“Why does it bother you that he wrote – or, well, got inspired by you to write a song? Simón’s done it countless of times before; Valiente, Vuelo, Siempre Juntos, Andaremos. They’re all about you, but it doesn’t seem to bother you.”

“Because Simón is my friend, he didn’t write them by watching me through a freaking window and imagining scenarios in his head, not bothering to get to know me or speak to me.” She hoped the look she threw Nina reflected the incredulity she was feeling at the moment.

“What about Eres?” once again, Nina was cautious with her words.

“That’s different.” She replied quickly, trying to dismiss it.

“How?” Another ‘are-you-being-serious’ look sent her friend’s way. “Luna, he wrote this love-song about you, when you weren’t best friends, but mere acquaintances, having spoken a total of fifty-ish words to each other. He literally says in it that you’re – and I quote- ‘the cause, the reason of my songs’. I’m just trying to understand how that doesn’t make it awkward when it comes to Simón, but it does when it comes to Matteo.”

Luna frowned. “Simón had a crush on me, Nina.”

“And Matteo wouldn’t?” Silence. Then her best friend sighed. “I’m not trying to defend Matteo, Luna, and I don’t want you to feel like it needs to be awkward with Simón because of what happened years ago, but I do think you’re making this sound worse than what it actually is. To me it just sounds like he was obviously going through a bad patch and you – the idea of you- helped him get out of it. The guy didn’t stalk you, he never appeared on your window to watch you sleep, he just wrote a song about finding someone he could fall in love with. You just happened to be the face for it.”

Luna pondered her words. Was Nina, right? Was she exaggerating the situation more than she had to? Maybe he hadn’t meant for it to be creepy, but a small part of her still thought of it that way. There was nothing wrong with feeling this way, was it? Her feelings were her feelings, and she didn’t want to dismiss them, but she could acknowledge that this wasn’t just her situation, but Matteo’s, too.

Finally, she asked; “you think what he did is right?”

“No, I just don’t think it’s wrong.” Nina smiled softly. “I understand it bothers you, though, so I’m not going to push you to talk to him, or to see things the way I do, but-”

“But you want me to see your perspective, too and take it in mind.” Nina’s smile got a little bigger.

“Exactly.” She reached out to grab her hand, squeezing just a little in support. “I see the way he looks at you, Luna. I know, in the farthest of your mind, you’re wondering if his interest is made up by the idea he had of you then. But I- we all have seen him when he’s around you; he just, he gravitates towards you, like you’re the sun to his earth, and he just can’t help it; his eyes follow you everywhere, smiling when you do the smallest of things, and he beams when you give him the smallest of attention. And I’ve seen you, Luna, the way your eyes search for his, when you lean in his direction to let him know you care about what he’s saying, when you smile at him hoping he smiles back; and, even now, I see you worrying over all of this, when, if it were another person, you would just dismiss it and try to act flattered. You’re the moon to his earth, you gravitate around him, too. Think about it, yeah?”

“I will.” She promised, gaining her another smile from her best friend. “Can we drop it for now, though? I feel like all we’ve done lately is talk about him.”

“Of course. I’ve been meaning to ask you if you were in the mood for travelling soon? I’m not sure where yet, but my camera has been calling my name and I have a couple ideas for Felicity’s new book.”

“You just launched one a month ago and you’re already thinking of the next one?” She joked, knowing well her friend was just planning ahead.

“Not soon-soon, but I like to reserve the plane tickets by at least three months, you know that.”

Luna laughed. “Yes, I know, I’ve been going with you for years.”

“So, you coming then? I want to make a special feature on Felicity’s best friend now that you’re done with competitions.”

“Of course, though, I might not be able to stay for the whole trip this time.” She apologized, sitting up to look at Nina’s face, who looked confused. She decided to explain, “you know how my dream’s always been opening my own rink, right?”

“Of course, I know! What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t? Don’t tell me, it’s happening?!” she gasped excitedly, covering her mouth with one of her hands, letting a couple of squeals out.

Luna nodded, beaming at her happiness for her. “I’ve just begun looking for potential places, and Juliana e-mailed me a couple of addresses to check out around here, so, if everything goes nicely…”

“You’ll have to be in town to coordinate, of course. That’s amazing, Luna!”

“You’re not mad, right? I will travel with you for a week or two, I promise-”

“How could I be mad? This is your dream, L! I knew one day this would come eventually, and I couldn’t be happier for you right now! Maybe this could be the best friend feature, if you agree? That way you wouldn’t have to travel at all.”

“No, no, I want to go with you for a couple days, really. You can make the feature about the rink if you want but travelling together is something I don’t want to miss with you, it’s our thing.” Nina grinned, reaching out her arms to hug her.

“I would love that! But only if I get to see how your dream builds into reality; I want to capture it all in pictures for us to see in the future.”

“Wouldn’t you need to stay in town for that? I can’t ask that from you, N.”

“I never said we’d travel to the other side of the world. The countries around are lovely, and they’re perfect of a weekend-long trip.” Nina shrugged it off as if it were nothing to be worried about. Luna wasn’t as sure as her friend and voiced her reluctance.

“Nina…” Her friend was having none of it.

“No, Luna, it’s alright, I want to do it, okay? You’d do the same for me if the roles were reversed – hell, you’ve travelled with me for years, renting rinks to practice for competitions around the world when you could’ve stayed behind and not worry about schedules to be there for me. Please let me do this for you?”

She sighed out, smiling with the gratitude she was feeling for having someone like Nina with her. “Thank you for doing this for me, N. I love you.”

“You’re welcome, I love you too.” She chirped out, giving her another hug before turning to her laptop, “is that from Tamara? ‘It’s done’ – is that about the deals you had left to break with the sponsors?”

“No, there’s a week left for that.”

“Then?”

“I agreed to do the interview with Jazmín.”  Nina froze at her words. It was funny, really, since she was in the middle of grabbing one of her pillows, so her arm was left hanging in the air.

“You did?” her voice was back to being cautious, as if she’d get angry at her for questioning her. It made Luna frown.

“Yes. Tamara and you were right, and it’s a great idea; I owe it to the fans to explain in a more-personal-way and tell them it was something I decided on my own, for my own good.”

Nina nodded. “You’ll do it alone?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, maybe you could bring someone along? I think Delfina said something about Ma- he being there?”

“He won’t. I asked them not to, I want to do this for my fans, since it’s about my career. If Jazmín asks about him, I’ll just tell her the truth.” Nina pursed her lips, looking worried for her.

To be honest, it was getting on her nerves now. Nobody had to tip-toe around her, as if she’d break if they added pressure to the wound. Sure, it’d hurt as fuck, but she wouldn’t break. She was strong enough to bear it.

“If you’re sure…”

“I am.” She reassured her, smiling, trying to calm Nina’s worry. “Now, how about we go out for dinner? I’m craving cochinita, what do you think?”

“Only if you pay.” Nina gave her a small smile.

She returned it with a grin. “Deal.”

BREAKING: MATTEO’S LITTLE PROBLEM!

If you don’t know who Matteo Balsano is, you’re probably lying.

Italy’s most famous singer has been everywhere for the last seven years, from T.V. shows, to magazines and newspapers, his face is engraved to our minds and hearts! And how could it not, when his enormous talent, outgoing personality and good looks are more than enough to make girls and boys swoon all over the globe?!

Now, you’re probably wondering, then what’s the problem you read in our headline? Well, Matteístas, you might want to sit down because this is nothing except Shocking. With a capital S.

Rumor has it our Italian Casanova is a small bean… down there.

And no, we’re not talking about a slightly smaller size than the average. Oh no, we’re talking about a true, peanut-sized member. Because yes, we really meant that.

Matteo Balsano has a micropenis.

You heard it here first, folks! And we know you, you’re probably wondering if this is an early April Fool’s joke, or if we were hacked by aliens. The answer is no. We were able to talk to one of the friends of one of Matteo’s physician’s (ex) nurse and… it’s legit info. She told us; “he’s tried to keep it secret from his fanbase. He doesn’t want his image to be affected by this, or the opinion people have of his music to change so he keeps it quiet, even more so than other patients with the same problem.”

We tried to attach some pics, but, unfortunately, we gotta keep this magazine non-porn for your innocent and pure minds (sorry). But, trust us, it was absolutely, and undoubtedly, a peanut!p with Matteo’s face. It even makes us wonder if this is the reason our little (hehe) heartbreaker doesn’t last with the girls he’s seen with?

Ámbar Smith and Sol Benson offered no comment on the matter. (NDA’S? You bet your wig that’s a yes!)

Matteo, if you’re reading this: Rock that bean, baby! Us, real fans, will love you anyway! ♥

Want to know more? Visit our website!

No lo puedo entender, ¿cómo no te has dado cuenta? / Lo mucho que te quiero pienso no es normal / Pero tengo miedo de pensar, que no te vayas a enamorar / Y que me digas que te olvide, que es complicado intentar /

He tried the words out, his fingers moving on its own as he thought the melody and hoped it would translate into reality as he played the keys on his piano; writing the notes he liked on the music sheet he had in front of him. His eyes lingering on the crossed word of the third lyric. Too soon, his brain kept replying, so he shook his head and sighed, deciding it was enough for the day. He had made a great progress the last couple of days, so a break wouldn’t hurt. In fact, it was probably the smartest idea.

Composing usually brought out his true feelings into words, and he wasn’t ready to read them all just yet when he hadn’t prepared himself to deal with them.  

“MATTEO!” Gastón’s shout was barely audible on his studio, but he could tell it was an urgent one. There was an edge in his voice that had him worried.

He stood up quickly, racing to the living room. Gastón had shrugged off his coat, lying on one of their couches. In his hand, he was holding a newspaper.

“What is it?” he asked anxiously; his friend pursed his lips, and dropped the newspaper on their coffee table, motioning for him to pick it up. He did.

He almost sighs in relief when he saw it wasn’t related with Luna. However, as he started reading, and his brain started making sense of the words, his jaw dropped open. Matteo must’ve been dreaming. He had to. This couldn’t be happening to him, Delfina wouldn’t dare.

“I found it laying outside our door.” Was the only thing Gastón said, crossing his arms, waiting for him to speak.

“She wouldn’t dare.” He repeated his thoughts out loud. His best friend grimaced.

“I told you, you had to be careful.” He got closer, to pat his back comfortingly. “On a bright note, your fans don’t seem to buy it.”

He buffed, grabbing his phone from his back pocket. “She wouldn’t dare!” The phone only rang twice before Delfi picked up.

“Hello?”

“What the fuck, Delfi?!” He exclaimed, throwing the paper to the ground, loudly.

The woman sounded bored as she replied, “oh, it’s you.”

“Of course, it’s me! What the fuck is the meaning of this?” Gastón mouthed to him to calm down, but he flipped him off. How could he speak of calming down? Wasn’t he seeing what was happening right now?

“I see you finally received my gift. You’re welcome.”

“I’m not thanking you, Delfina! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Your job is to protect me, not to- to defame me this way!”

“I warned you, Matteo. I told you not to make any rash decisions that could put you and Ámbar in trouble, but what did you do? You acted like a spoiled brat and did it anyway!”

“I didn’t mean to! How was I supposed to know the workers there would run their mouths off to the media?!” he defended himself, his fingers gripping the sides of his phone tightly. Matteo was finding hard not to scream things he knew he’d regret later.

“How long have you been in the spotlight Matteo? You aren’t a fucking newbie, you know to need to behave, no matter if you’re in a public place or a deserted island!”

He finally snapped. “That’s the shittiest bullshit, Delfina! And even if I didn’t behave like the little kid you want me to, your fucking job is to protect me, I don’t pay you to start stupid rumors that could ruin me!”

She was quiet for a moment. He was about to throw his phone, thinking she’d hung up on him, when she spoke again. “Have you read the footnote, you dick?”

“What?”

“The footnote at the end, you haven’t read it, have you?” she sounded amused, her laugh loud enough to alert Gastón something was on. He mouthed ‘footnote’ at him, pointing down at the discarded paper on the floor. His friend was fast to pick it up, and scanned the article, grimacing as he read the very end of it.

“What does it say?” He asked him, both anxious and scared of what was awaiting him. Gastón passed the paper, pointing the text to him. ‘Gotcha! Consider this a warning; don’t mess with my patience, Balsano! Next time I’ll be sending this to Miss Luna Valente and, trust me, she’ll drop you and your micropenis faster than you can say pasta.  – Delfina. P.S. In case your little brain doesn’t get it: yes, it’s fake, you idiot.’ “Oh.”

“Yes, ‘oh’.” She laughed again, unable to stop herself.

“I’m sorry, Delfi. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.” He sighed out, begrudgingly. “I still don’t appreciate your joke, though.”

“I would never purposefully, much less publicly ‘defame’ you, Matteo, and frankly, I’m offended you believed I would.” She truly sounded offended, so he apologized again. “I accept apology gift-cards, only. Oh, and a pay-raise.”    

He snorted. “I gave you one less than two months ago.”      

“Couldn’t hurt to try. Also, I’m glad you called me. I have news.”

Matteo’s brows raised. “Good or bad?”

“I’ll let you decide. Tamara called me, she told me Lovergirl agreed to do the interview with Jazmín.”

“You mean Luna?” He could picture his manager rolling her eyes at him right then.

“Yes, Luna. Anyway, back to what’s important: she wants to do it alone. I tried to persuade her to let you go with her, but she refused, saying that silence was the best way to refute any rumor. She’ll only speak of her reasons to quit, and nothing more. If – or, well, when Jaz asks about you, she’ll say you two have never been anything other than platonic.”

So, she was still avoiding him. He knew it shouldn’t shock him, he was expecting it to happen, but, it still hurt him. “Oh.”

“I’m sorry, Matt. I tried my best, but she seems set on avoiding public contact with you.” Delfi sounded apologetic, her voice turning a bit softer.

“I know, it’s okay. I’ll just have to figure out another way.” He replied quietly. He was reminded of Gastón’s presence in the room when he put his hand on his shoulder. ‘Everything okay?’ he mouthed, Matteo nodded.

“She also asked me if I was willing to give her a couple of classes on how to deal with Jazmín. Maybe you could be a student t-”

He interrumpted her. “No. I don’t – I don’t want to force her to deal with me. Whe – if she comes around I want it to be because she wants to, not because we are forcing her to come. I owe her space.”

“You sure? Some people need just a little push in the right direc-” Delfina tried talking him into it, but Matteo knew he couldn’t do it anymore. He’d pushed his way many times, sometimes bordering creepiness, and he didn’t want to do it again. It hadn’t turned well, if his actual situation was any tell.

“No, Delfi. It’s best if we give her some time. Look where my pushing lead me to.”

“Okay. If you change your mind, though…”

“I’ll call you.” He promised, and then turned the conversation to a professional one, anything not to keep talking about her. He had a meeting with his label soon, to check up on his composition progress, and discuss possible collaborations with other artists. As soon as Gastón felt he didn’t need him, he excused himself saying he was going to shower.

Inwardly, Matteo sighed as Delfi started babbling about the candidates for collaborations, his mind going far away from it.

When had he reach this point? The one where all he could think about was her? She consumed his mind, his thoughts, and if he was brave enough to admit to himself, she consumed his heart, too. And yet, he couldn’t have her. He’d scared her off his life.

A part of him wondered what would happen if he tried forgetting her. There were millions of girls out there, surely there was at least one he could fall in love with. Maybe it was time for him stop lying to himself. He couldn’t keep on feeding his own fantasies any longer, the more time it passed, the more it hurt him.

She’d been right when she told him they barely knew each other, as the time they’d spent together was minimal, and, truthfully, most of it had been completely platonic; she’d barely, if ever, given him the ‘interested’ vibe. She’d treated him as nothing more than a friend, she was freaked out when she found his secret, and she was avoiding him.

There were no maybe’s in his mind now.

He had to accept she wasn’t meant to be his.

He had to accept she wasn’t interested.

He had to let her go.

[justoneday-namjoonii]

Di piano e forte 05

pt. 1 ↠  pt. 2 ↠ pt. 3 ↠ pt. 4 ↠ pt. 5 ↠ pt. 6

↠Summary: Piano; A keyboard of cypress, played with soft and loud. Was it the ivory and onyx keys that let you escape from your reality…Or was it the man with sable hair and ivory skin.

↠Genre: Angst, fluff.

↠Warnings: This fic contains slight domestic and verbal abuse as well as mature subjects. Sexual assault. Mentions of depression. This may be triggering, read with caution.

author’s note: I decided to turn this into something a little more angsty, in couldn't resist lol I hope you enjoy.  Updates for this series on Thursday or Friday, enjoy!

You panted heavily, stretching your arms and holding your hands behind your head to give your lungs a break. The sun hadn't risen yet. You liked to jog early in the morning, to avoid the pounding heat of the sun. Mom always says exercise is a good way to take time for yourself, but you're using it as an outlet to escape from what's been going on. Your brother hasn't been home for a week now and you couldn't help but get worried—well, you were relieved and worried. The house was peaceful; but sad and even depressing. 

You were ashamed to admit how bad you've been emotionally eating. When you got home from work you went straight for the sweets, or you wouldn't eat at all. When you were at school you were getting by on boba teas. But this week you made the decision to get yourself together, eat better, exercise and even sleep more. It was making a difference, somewhat. After this you had a doctors appointment, your body pains have gotten better so you were hoping you could get off of the pills soon.

The bridge crossing the lake was just as beautiful as it was at night, it looked so poetic in a way. It was the kind of place friends should go to walk and talk about their innermost feelings and joys. When your dad was still living he'd take you and your along with him to walk around the city. The packed train station was a place to look for adventure, pick a place to stop and your adventure begins. The pictures in my distant memories were perfect—the current me was an image, a moment where loneliness had stopped time. No one would know how lonely you were. You didn't even know.

I drove back home, eager to get to the shower.

You walked up to the counter, handing the nurse your papers. “Hi, I'm here for the 8:45 appointment with Dr. Lu.”

“Ok, I'll check you in. You can have a seat.” She went to her computer and you went to wait in the tiny waiting room.

A few minutes went by and they called you to the back. 

“Hello Miss. Y/LN. How are you?” He came in, smiling with his usual clipboard and coat.

“Hi,” You sat down, holding your purse in your lap, “I'm good, and you?”

“I'm great.” He looked over his papers and sighed. “So, how are your body pains? Has the medicine helped?”

“Yeah, my shoulders still get to me when I'm really stressed but other than that they've been pretty good. I was wondering if I should keep taking them, you know? I just don't want my body to become dependent on it...it kind of makes me depressed, I shouldn't have these problems, I'm so young...”

He nodded his head for a few seconds before sighing. “Well, it's not fibro myalgia so that's good. And you can get body pain for a number of reasons, it's not always age. But you told me that sometimes your almost in tears from the pain, I do want you to live comfortably. I will prescribe the same pain killers and you can pick them up at the drug store.”

“Thank you Dr. Lu, I really appreciate.” He opened the door and you bid him farewell. When you got to the front desk the nurse gave you the prescription and you thanked her.

You left with your purse on your shoulder and the prescription in hand. You couldn't have been more lonely right now. With heavy steps you walked to the bus station and sat on the bench. 

When the bus finally pulled up you used your coins to pay before walking to your usual spot, leaning your head against the glass. 

“Ok ma'am, we'll have it out in a second.” The pharmacist went to the back to get the medicine. As you waited you saw a familiar head of hair in the isle behind you, you tried to lean back and see who it was but right when you went back the person left and they handed you the medication.

“Here you go.”

“Thank you.”

You paid for it and went on your way. 

“Here.” Yoongi tossed the wrist brace on Namjoons lap.

“Thanks Hyung.” 

“I don't know how you sprained your wrist cleaning the bathroom.” He laughed, Namjoon just shrugged.

He sniffed. “Hyung...” Namjoon gave Yoongi a knowing look before sighing. “Are you smoking again? You only smoke when your reevaluating your life or some shit like that.” Namjoon sat next to him on the couch, fastening the wrist brace.

“It's nothing, really.” He shrugged.

“Is it your mom?” He saw Yoongi’s expression bo blank, that's what it was. “It is isn't, what happened Yoongi, is she okay?”

He sighed. “Her and my dad are still legally married, he's in a relationship right now so he's trying to divorce her.” He rested his head in his hands as his elbows rested on his knees. “He's fucking sick. He knows she's under his health care, if that stops I don't know how she'll be able to stay at rehab.” 

“Can't she get help from the government? You know, like government assistance.”

“Yeah, but they'll just give her more shitty drugs and put her in a group home, to rot. Where she is now is much better for her recovery, it's expensive but she's getting better and at least I know she's safe there.” Yoongi was hiding it well but Namjoon could sense how upset he was. He was always worried about her, regardless of her troubled past. When he was at his piano late at night, thinking Namjoon wasn't awake, he wept. Those black and white keys were coated in his tears, he'd bang on the keys and shout in a drunken fit when he was really upset. He never remembered doing it though, he'd wake up with a bad hangover, not knowing the things he'd done the night before.

“I have to talk to him...I'm stalling though.” He sort of chuckled, he hated talking to that unreasonable man.

“You know I'm here, I'll do anything I can to help.” He gave his shoulder a comforting pat before he left. “I'll be at the studio if you need me.”

When Namjoon closed the door Yoongi leaned back on the couch, what was he gonna do? He only wanted what was best for her. He couldn't visit her often and when he did he had to prepare himself, mentally. She used to have a bad addiction when he was a kid, she got a hold of the wrong prescriptions and her life went downhill from there. She had never been more disappointed in her self, she blamed herself for all of Yoongi’s problems. That guilt alone ate her from the inside out. Just recently is when she started to learn how to forgive herself, except that he forgives her.

“Y/N! We're still waiting on those sandwiches!” 

“I'm sorry! They're coming out.” You were using the panini press to make what seemed the hundredth sandwich today. You were struggling to get the food finished so instead of looking for the things you tried to grab it with your hand. 

“Agh!” You hissed, there were now red grill marks on your hand. You threw the sandwiches on the plate and sat the food in the window. I'm done. You've been here since 9:30 and it's going on 7 o'clock. You ran to the sink to rinse off your burn. When you went to the front one of your coworkers asked if you could help with the ice teas.

“There's a peach black tea and- Oh my God, what happened to your hand?” 

Instinctively, you tried to hide it. “I-it's nothing, just a little burn.” You tried to play it off like it was nothing, even though it felt like your skin was boiling.

After the last cup of tea, you could finally leave, you got your bag, took off your apron and you went on your way.

It was drizzling outside so you ran to the bus stop, trying to shield your face from the relentless drops. There was a slight breeze in the air and you caught a whiff of smoke, you coughed a little looking for the source. You looked back and saw a pretty pale hand resting outside of a car window, skin of that color could only belong to one person you knew of.

Min Yoongi. He must've seen you too because he was letting down the passenger's side window. “Hey.” He took a long drag of his cigarette before putting it out. You never would've guessed he smoked, then again you never really know how people are or what they do when you're not around.

“Hi.” You held your hand above your head, trying to keep the rain from getting on your face

“Are you taking the bus?”

You nodded, pushing the strands of hair behind your ear with squinted eyes.

“You'll be waiting for a while, come on. I'll take you home.” He leaned over to open the door as you scurried over.

“Thanks.” You sighed, putting on your seat belt. 

When you looked over at him, you could tell there was something different about him. You weren't sure what it was, you just knew there was something off. You two sat there for a while, he was on his phone and you just waited patiently for him to pull off.

“What happened to your hand?” He suddenly pointed to the grill like marks on the back of your hand. 

“It's from the panini press.” You answered simply, licking your lips as you noticed how dark it had become.

"It looks painful.” He commented without actually looking at it. You just nodded. The drive was sort of awkward because of the obvious elephant in the room. The two of you hadn't talked in almost two weeks, you haven't had any piano lessons from him and he hasn't offered. But now he's driving you home—he actually remembered where you lived. He took all the right turns but of course ran into the usual traffic.

“So, are we gonna talk about it?” Yoongi asked suddenly, saying what you had been thinking about this whole time. You relaxed when he stopped at the red light, his attention, for the first time, undivided and on you. To his disdain you just shook your head, maybe he wanted a more in-depth answer but you didn't feel the need to give one. You're both adults and it was a little kiss. It shouldn't have consumed your thoughts like it did. He took a deep breath before sighing once again—he does that a lot you've noticed. “Do you still want lessons...” 

“Um...yeah, I still want to learn...” You cleared your throat, the smell of smoke still lingered in the car. It was hard to really look at him. His appearance had changed since the last time you saw him. His eyes were darker, his hands were paler and he looked tired. The last time you saw him you two had kissed in the rain, that wasn't something you just do with anyone. It was so impulsive and out of character of him, he didn't know what he was acting on. It could've been desperation, neediness, he could've been compelled by the desire of physical touch, he really didn't know. You kind of blame yourself for making the relationship so casual, you were the one who asked him on a date. Who does that to their piano teacher?

When he pulled up to your house you were both equally shocked to see the parking lot full of cars. He's back, you thought. The sound of laughter and music was an indicator that Jaebum was having a party.

“Sorry to bother you but, do you have any aspirin?” Yoongi looked to you with the tilt of his head. “I have the worst headache.”

“Yeah, I'm pretty sure we have some. I'll bring you one.” You got out and went up the stairs with your key in hand.

You didn't want to go in there. The horrid smell of body odor and alcohol was never something you were fond of. You pushed the key in the lock and opened the door slowly, you could already smell the marijuana and beer wafting in the air.

There were a bunch of people, you didn't even know he knew so many people. To get out of this suffocating environment you immediately went to your room, glad you decided to lock it before leaving this morning. You could hear Jaebum shouting nonsense, he was drunk, as expected. You quickly closed your room door and went to your bathroom.

“Aspirin, aspirin...” You searched through your medicine and you couldn't find any. You were gonna text him but quickly you remember you left your bag in his car. You were about to leave your room but you heard someone walk in, you froze.

One of Jaebums friends.

“Y/N, I thought Jaebum said y- you were gone?” He was either high or drunk—but probably both.

You ignored him, hoping he'd let you pass by without a problem. Judging by the look on his face he wasn't intending on letting you leave anytime soon.

“Excuse me.” You tried to walk past him but he grabbed you but the shoulders and pushed you back.

“What the hell?! Move!” Demanded, getting angrier and angrier by the second. 

“Why don't we close the door and a have some fun?” He closed the door behind him and stalked towards you. “I've always had my eyes on you, you know that? You may be annoying but your fine as hell.” He was already right in front of you—your heart was beating out of your chest in fear.

“Don't do this.” That didn't sound as confident as you intended. He pushed you on the bed, trying to pin you down as you flailed violently.

“Get off! I- I don't want this!” You cried.

“What's taking her so long?” He put out his cigarette. You've been up there's for almost five minutes, how long doesn't it take to find some aspirin. He decided he'd go up there and see if you were ok, it wasn't like you to just not sat anything. When he got upstairs he didn't bother knocking, the door was open. Some hoe saw him when he walked in and strolled over. 

“What's your name?” She walked over with a red solo cup in her hand.

He just walked away, not bothering to actually give her the time of day. He navigated through the groups of people to get to your bedroom, he knocked.

No answer.

Your light was on so you were in there, did you not hear him. He knocked again. “Y/N? Hey, I don't need the aspirin, it's okay if you don't have it.”

Yoongi? Thank God.

“Yoongi!” Your shouting was muffled by the hand over your mouth. “H-help-” You couldn't get out a coherent call for help.

“Who the hell is that?” He frowned. He didn't wait for a response, he was quickly attempting to undress you and you barely had the strength to push him. No, no, no...you were squirming and he kept squeezing your arm, eliciting bloodcurdling cries from your mouth.

You bit his hand. “YOONGI!!” You screamed bloody murder, probably scaring the life out of your neighbors.

Yoongi immediately barged in to see you in tears underneath some lowlife, crying and kicking. “Get the fuck off of her! You piece of shit!” Yoongi ripped him off of you and they were tussling on the floor. When the guy stood up Yoongi punched him, causing him to fall back almost instantly.

“What the hell?” Jaebum walked in, looking at Yoongi, then at you, then one of his best friends.

“The fuck?” Jaebum narrowed his brows. “Is this your boyfriend Y/N?”  

You were too busy trying to situate your clothes and wipe your tears to answer him. It was pissing Yoongi off the way Jaebum totally disregarded the obvious situation you were in.

“Y/N fucking talk.” He raised his voice at you but you only got up to go to the bathroom and clean yourself up.

“Hey! I'm talking to you!” He ran over and yanked you back by the arm, you winced. 

You were in a lot of pain and you could barely cry out anymore.“No! Stop-”

Yoongi pulled you behind him. “Don't you fucking touch her.” You ran into the bathroom, leaving your brother and Yoongi in a stare off. 

“Who the fuck are you? Her damn guardian angel or something? What makes you think you can go around knocking out my friends?” Jaebum pushed Yoongis chest, challengingly him.

“It's none of your damn business. That son of a bitch was literally assaulting her, your own sister! Did you not fucking see her!? That friend of yours doesn't have respect worth shit.” Some noisy people came to crowd at the door and Jaebum was livid, Yoongi was exposing him in front of everyone. Humiliating him more and more by the second.

“You're one cocky bastard to come into my house talking shit. If she was about to get screwed then she had it coming. And we’re not blood, it's step-sister.” Jaebum had absolutely no sympathy for you, his own family was like nothing to him.

“Fuck you!” Yoongi threw a punch so hard, he will have that bruise for months. He opened your bathroom door, seeing you crying at the sink. Without a word he grabbed your hand, dragging you out of this hell hole.

“Y-yoongi...wait-” You struggled to get it out. Inevitably you gave up trying to explain, you followed him to his car with your head down. You got in the passenger's side and he drove off.

“You're staying over my place tonight.” That's all he said.

He had to be going at least 15 miles over the speed limit.

His jaw was clenched tight, his grip on the steering wheel was like iron. You couldn't imagine what he might be thinking, you looked at him again. He's never looked better than he did right now, why was that? You couldn't figure it out, maybe there was something about his eyes, they were so focused.

There were dry tear stains on your face, your hair was a mess and you could feel the bruises from where that guy had hit you. Yoongi pulled into a driveway, turned off the car and got out. You watched him walk around so he could open your door. You grabbed your backpack, following him to the front door. When he opened it up to you shyly walked in.

“Hyung?” Namjoon walked out of his room. “I thought you were-” 

“Y/N is staying the night.” Yoongi waved to his roommate and you tried to shield your face as you scurried behind him. Namjoon saw you though, there were hundreds of scenarios running through his head.

Yoongi turned on his room light and went to his drawers. He had a very tidy room. “Here.” He handed you a t-shirt and some sweat pants. “They'll be a little big but they're still comfortable; this room gets cold at night anyway.”

“Oh- I can sleep on the couch, really...I don't mind...” You swallowed thickly, standing nervously. 

He ignored your suggestion and rubbed the back of his neck. “My bathroom is right there.” He pointed before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

He walked to the kitchen, grabbed a beer and went to the couch. 

“What happened?” Namjoon walked over, it was obvious he was upset.

“Huh...” He sighed. “Her brother is an asshole.” Yoongi took a swig of his drink.

“Can you elaborate?” Namjoon plopped down in the recliner.

“I drove her home from her job. When we got to her place her brother was home and he threw a party or whatever the fuck that tacky mess was. She went inside to get me an aspirin but she was taking forever, so I went to check on her...some guy was on her, she was crying and- I knocked him out. Her brother didn't even give a fuck either, the bastard said she had it coming. I wanted to kill him Joon...I really did.” He was calming down but the mere thought was still disturbing—infuriating.

“Wow, that's a lot to take in...is she okay?” Namjoon looked at Yoongi’s closed door.

“I think so, I dragged her out of her room and told her she was staying here tonight, I guess I probably should've asked but it wouldn't have been safe to leave her there.” He shook his head, tilting up his bottle to take another gulp.

You cracked open his room door and peeked out. He kind of smiled when he saw you with his clothes on. The pants were far too big for you, his long sweats and shirt engulfed your small frame.

“Hi Namjoon," You greeted him, "Um, Yoongi, I really don't mind taking the sofa...” 

“Take the bed Y/N, we're not arguing on this.” He walked past you, cracking the door behind him “I'm gonna shower real quick.” You sat on his bed as he got some clothes and went to the shower. 

When he opened the bathroom his hair was wet, his face was flushed and supple—he looked so soft and young. 

“Are you okay? I'm sorry about what happened...” He said standing at the door, drying his hair.

“I don't know what to do anymore, Yoongi...I can't tell my mom, it'll only make her upset, she's been through too much. But he's always like that to me, it really hurts, you know? B- But none of his friends have ever-...and he didn’t try to stop him...” You held back your tears. His heart was breaking, he was angry at himself and that guy, your situation was so sad and he really couldn't do anything about it.

“I'm sorry.” He sat beside you, he didn't know what to say. 

“It's not your fault...” You looked at him, twiddling your fingers like you always did when you were anxious. He grabbed your hand gently, squeezing it lightly.

“It’s not yours either. I just want you to know, you're safe here. If you need a place to stay you can always come here. I promise you, if it means you’ll sleep safely then I’m willing to give up my bed." You pressed your lips together, nodding slowly. Others think I can give everything, I think I can give everything but I can't. I've had a day that’s hard enough to let out at least a small sigh. Two gazes were looking at each other, but both gazes were entirely alone. Without much thought, you hesitantly leaned in to place a kiss on his lips. He responded naturally, opening wider to slip in some tongue. His lips—they were so cold, so why did it seem so warm? How could this feel just as right and perfect as the first time we've kissed. You were just melting into him, like ice. Frozen and silent. He held your hand tighter, sighing into you—he didn't want this moment to end. This was beautiful and his heart was so full, it was going to burst. Slightly he pulled away, out of breath. “Y/N...” He hugged you, but he couldn't feel you breathing. You were holding your breath, your chest tight with emotion and pain. 

He spoke softly. “It’s okay to run out of breath sometimes, no one will blame you...” You wrapped your arms around his neck, his arms wrapped around your torso. You couldn’t help it, tears were falling from your eyes as you took a deep breath and sighed heavily.

Now don’t think of anything else Let out a deep sigh Just let it out like that.

Though I can’t understand your breath

It’s alright, I’ll hold you

[aicelab]

DropShipping Experiences – Practical Success Story

Trading by DropShipping facilitates founders and prospective entrepreneurs from a whole range of financial obligations, costs and work steps. Instead of having to purchase and pre-finance sales products themselves in advance, they are left with the respective supplier and, in the case of orders, sent directly from there to the end customer.

DropShipping entrepreneurs therefore do not need any special start-up capital, their own warehouse or corresponding logistics personnel. In addition, they have sufficient time in their daily work to take care of their assortment, customers and the marketing of their products. The start as a DropShipper is much easier than in comparable classic online trading. But here, too, certain rules, steps and sequences must be followed in order to optimize the prospects of success and reduce the risk of failure.

Experience with products when starting with DropShipping advantageous

As in any other business area, the planning and preparation phase begins with the development of an exciting business idea. In this, above all, it is determined which products are to be sold to which target groups. It has proven itself in practice when prospective entrepreneurs focus on their own interests, skills, knowledge or hobbies when deciding on a particular sales area. This facilitates long-term motivation and also helps to make the right decisions with regard to the product range and the needs of the customers.

Positive experiences with DropShipping: The Webshop finally athause.de

In the online shop of the successful entrepreneur Alexander Hupe, the name says it all. Under https://ift.tt/31e52NY the hobby web designer and leisure programmer offers his fast-growing clientele a wide range of products around a beautiful home, a hospitable table and a functional kitchen. The retail concept was already launched in 2005, when it was still purely a hobby project. The company has only been operating full-time since 2007.

During the first two years, the trading volume doubled. Today, the company supplies its customers with around 4,000 different articles. Access to the wide product range is via a clear and transparent navigation system. The customer first selects between the themes “Table and Table”, “Beautiful Living”, “Modern Kitchen” and “Gifts” in order to enter the more detailed shopping worlds. The most popular categories are tableware, cutlery, vases, pots, pans and woks.

DropShipping: The experiences of entrepreneur Alexander Hupe

From the very beginning, Alexander Hupe’s requirements in terms of warehousing and dispatch logistics were a particular burden. As there was not enough storage space available, the individual products were usually only ordered from the respective suppliers after the end customer had placed the order. This led to long delivery times, which modern consumers are no longer willing to accept today. Incoming shipments were also packed and prepared for dispatch by the company itself, which led to some night shifts and weekends.

In order to create the prerequisites for further healthy growth and at the same time reduce the burden of manual logistics, the entrepreneur decided to introduce a drop shipping concept in 2008. Alexander Hupe talks about his beginnings in online trading and his experiences with drop shipping.

1. since when does your company exist?

DropShipping entrepreneur Alexander HupeWe started as a hobby project in 2005 and have been working as a “full-time company” since 2007.

2 How did you come up with the idea of opening a crockery and cutlery shop?

hornI have always been interested in stylish websites, how to present products visually. As a hobby web designer and programmer, I have already set up and maintained one or the other shop “by the way”. Some of them became quite successful over time – so why not do it yourself?

However, I knew one thing: I never wanted to sell articles with a net cord – already in 2005 there was a total price war on the Internet. There was actually a shop to the topic house and living exactly the right thing. The prices were still relatively o.k. and difficult to compare and one could create a nice, appealing shop with suitable pictures. In my search for decoration articles I ended up at the wholesaler Ritzenhoff&Breker. In the end, tableware became the main category, probably because it was the absolute niche at the time.

3. did DropShipping play a role from the beginning and how did you decide to sell your goods via DropShipping?

horn: In the beginning we packed ourselves. That was very elaborate. We needed a lot of packaging material, fillers, a ramp for pallets, shelves, lift trucks and so on and so forth. We usually only ordered the goods after they had been ordered by customers; we had no room for proper storage at all. One problem with this process was a delivery time of at least one week. I think that would no longer be acceptable to most of our customers today.

4. please describe your career so far.

hornIn the first 1-2 years that we were packing ourselves, we built up a better and better relationship with the wholesale trade. He saw that we grew continuously and were reliable partners. At some point we were invited to a conversation, and we were offered drop shipping. At that time we had about 1000 articles in our assortment and developed really fast. I still think back full of horror to the pre-Christmas time 2007. At this point we were at the end of our capacity. On 23.12. we packed until midnight and filled another truck in the morning on Christmas Eve. This should be our last self-packing season.

At the beginning of 2008, a 4-month development period began at the interface. From May 2008 we ship exclusively by DropShipping. Our growth is not quite as rapid as in the first two years (we have doubled in each of these), but we still manage 20-30% annually. Currently we have approx. 4000 articles in our assortment.

5 What do you see as the advantages of DropShipping?

hornThere are several advantages. On the one hand, the lack of warehousing avoids a capital commitment that should not be underestimated. We also save resources such as storage space, packaging materials, packaging technology and, of course, personnel. Since our wholesale is well staffed, orders can be processed well even at peak times (such as Christmas business). Since the wholesale trade often already has good contracts with logisticians, it is usually possible to ship quite cheaply via this rail – the handling costs are thus partly amortized.

6. do you see any disadvantages in drop shipping?

hornDefinitely. An immense technical effort is required to map all logistical steps automatically in the respective merchandise management system. Order processing should be as transparent as possible for the customer. In order to make correct statements to the customer hotline, you constantly need a current processing status. What about arrears, what’s the package number? Is the merchandise out yet? One or two packages? Is the return back yet? The difficulty with the connection to the existing enterprise resource planning system is often the partly outdated or proprietary software in the classical wholesale trade or lack of interfaces.

A further disadvantage is the dependence on the DropShipping supplier. It is said that after a while he opened his own (manufacturer’s) shop and thus competed with the DropShipper from his own house. Here a certain amount of trust or contractual coordination is necessary. If several DropShipping suppliers are used, there may be overlaps within one order. This results in multiple handling and postage costs per order. This is not always economical.

7. do you purchase your products from one or more DropShipping suppliers?

hornMeanwhile from several.

8. what are your experiences regarding delivery capability and delivery time in the DropShipping trade?

hornWe are really satisfied with that, we often have a 24h shipment, which we could not guarantee ourselves.

9. how do you handle revocations from your customers? Will the goods be taken back by your supplier?

hornYes. Each parcel contains a return sticker with our c/o address recipient at the wholesaler. There the goods are stored again and we receive a credit note minus a return handling fee. The feedback will then be sent by fax and we will issue the customer credit note. This process is very cumbersome, but fortunately our returns are limited.

10. what goals have you set yourself for the future and what tips can you give from your experience in drop shipping?

hornWe switched to a new merchandise management system last autumn in order to better automate the normal standard processes. To a large extent, we have already succeeded in this – now it is time to put the finishing touches to it. The next goal is to expand the product range, and initial discussions have already taken place here.

From my experience the introduction of a DropShipping system at the wholesale trade is a not to be underestimated expenditure. The underlying processes often differ greatly. Therefore, I can only advise new shop operators to be patient and, in case of doubt, to carry out the shipping themselves. You also get a feeling for the goods you are sending and can answer customer questions more competently. If the sales figures increase, the shipping system can still be switched to DropShipping.

You can learn a lot by looking at the stories of successful online retailers. Every DropShipper has to fulfill one requirement: One own online shop for DropShipping I’ve got to go. You can find out how to create this without any problems in our guide.

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❤  FIVE TIMES MY MUSE SAYS THEY DON’T LOVE YOURS, AND THE ONE TIME THEY ADMIT IT.

numero uno…it’s that oh so special brunette he spots, the girl who’s been haunting his dreams since their last meeting. a kiss, the need to let her know how the simple thought of her had been following him around wherever he went. ‘ can’t seem to get you off my mind. ’ mason remembers the exact thing he said, and the courage it had given him to make a move. perhaps it hadn’t been the best of ideas, in fact his best mate had told him that he shouldn’t have once mason had let him know about the situation. still it was something the boy didn’t regret. instead it only encouraged him to talk to her more, text her more, call her more… something which he began doing after that. he felt his friend nudging him, gaze flickered up to his mate, and soon enough his brows knit together, wondering what he wanted. ‘ weren’t you the one that didn’t believe in LOVE ?? ’ confusion is clear in mason’s features as he listened to his words, not entirely sure where he was trying to get at. ❝ uh - –––– y e a h ?? if you’re talking about the whole Beth vent from a couple of months ago just forget about it, it was a mistake - ❞  ‘ i ain’t talking about that. i mean - –––– giordano c’mon stop playing stupid !! you know i’m talking about her. ’ he didn’t even have to think twice before letting his gaze flicker back to the brunette. he wasn’t sure if she herself had noticed him there, but he certainly had. perhaps he should get up and say hello, he might later, he certainly knows he wants to. ❝ what about anastasia ?? ❞ a stupid question to ask, y e s, but he so desperately wants to avoid the one thing he’s sure his mate will say. yet he can’t. ‘ what d’you mean what about her ?? you’re always going on about that girl. you ain’t that blind are you ?? do you love her ?? ’ he’s quiet for a split second, yet he forced himself to shake his head quickly, fingers fiddling with his phone case nervously as he said the first thing to cross his mind. ❝ no ?? i just like her. she’s different, fun plus she’s hot. i like her that’s it. ❞ it didn’t right to say that, it wasn’t a lie, of course not, though he wasn’t sure what exactly he was doing, not after he felt so weird confessing something so odd to his friend.

numero dos…he’s alone in his room, gaze stuck on the sketch from a couple of days ago. hanging out at his place, showing her a couple of his sketches, completely forgetting around the one where he totally had drawn her. it had been EMBARRASSING yes, but he’s glad she didn’t take it the wrong way. he wasn’t one to draw people, the only ones he’d drawn were people that meant something to him, his friend Ethan, his nan, his siblings or simple old family photos… that’s what it usually was. though for once he hadn’t done his usual comic style. it was different, more REALISTIC, almost as if he had been trying to reflect the perfect features in cheap black, which he had but he didn’t want to admit it. this wasn’t that trashy titanic movie, and yes that cheap film somehow reminded him of the situation he was in. thumb brushed over the thin paper, tongue tracing his bottom lip as he was clearly trying to figure out what was going on with him. he wasn’t sure, more so considering how NEW all of this was to him. he wished to have the chance to comprehend what the complicated mess built within the depths of his mind meant, but it seemed as if all of it would be a lot more difficult to figure out than it already was. gaze flickered to the screen of his phone as soon as it lit up, brows pulling together as he read the text message and who it was from. ANASTASIA. again the all to familiar name, the brunette seemed to be everywhere he went and he wasn’t sure w h y. whatever this weird thing was he wasn’t sure yet his thoughts don’t seem to stop his thumbs from tapping against the screen of the small device. ‘ mhm i’m here… wanna hang out ?? ’ sent. this was different, he knew it was, but there was one thing he was sure it wasn’t. LOVE. it couldn’t be, yet to be sure he spoke the words softly as if to reassure himself that he was right. ❝ nope, we’re just f r i e n d s. ❞

numero tres…thirty minutes go by as he sent that text, his gaze stuck on the small screen as his thumb tapped against the screen. y e s playing candy crush was s h i t, but he had to do something to kill time. the round ends and he gazed at the hour. 4:42 p.m another hours lef before he could leave to pick her up. apparently she wasn’t home and he’d told her he wouldn’t mind waiting, which he didn’t, but he wasn’t exactly the patient kind guy. his screen lit up, this time with a message of his friend asking him where the hell he was, and god he’s completely FORGOTTEN about meeting him. an explanation, he needed something quick to come up with, yet somehow telling him the truth made more sense. - ––––– sorry, i forgot. don’t hate me but i’m going to hang out with anastasia so… gotta be some other time. ‘ w o w, now i’m hurt. what happened to the whole bros before hoes ?? seems like you really are in l o v e ’ - –––––– shut up i’m not.

numero cuatro…he’s back home, a lovestruck look on his face as he walks through the front door. he wasn’t sure if he’s ever been t h a t happy, or if he’s ever had so much fun before, though he’s clearly in a good mood, something odd considering how annoying ethan was being lately. there was a subject he wasn’t dropping, one regarding the girl he just hung out with. he stops in his tracks the moment he sees his grandmothers, only to wave at her with a wide grin before approaching her. ❝ imma order some chinese for us later, no need to cook dinner now. ❞ yes he’d already eaten, but it didn’t matter to him. he was ALWAYS hungry, whether he was tired, or mad, or excited, but when was it when he ate the most ?? when he was happy. either way this was different. he felt almost GLAD to be alive. ‘ what’s gotten into you ?? ’ he’s taken back by the question, clear confusion washing over his features. it’s a weird thing to ask him, more so seeing how h a p p y he is. he wasn’t sure what she was referring to, something obvious in the way his brows knitted together, yet it seemed as if once again his nan knew e v e r y t h i n g. ‘ who’s the girl ?? ’ somehow they end up at the same place, just like when he was with ethan a few days ago. he found himself repeating the same set up words. ❝ no, i don’t love her. she’s just different, nice, f u n. i like her. ❞

numero cinco…he’s alone in his room, as per usual, fingers fiddling with the plastic action figure. thoughts were wild within the depths of his mind once more, everything an absolute mess as he tried to gather and make sense of them, but he couldn’t not with everything going on. whatever the hell it was it somehow seemed to always go back to the brunette, the one girl who’d been haunting his mind the past few weeks. he had to do something about it all. thoughts drift back to his nan, to the texts, to the drawings and to even ethan, all of the things having to do with ANASTASIA once again and somehow he found himself whispering a couple of words. ❝ nah, i don’t love her. ❞ DENIAL that’s what was going on.

numero seis…somehow he stays up all night not being able to sleep. it’s been over an hour since he’s wished her a good night, yet he feels odd, more conflicted than he usually is. the weight of his thoughts telling him that something wasn’t right seemed to be getting the best of him, more so seeing how bloody complicated everything was with him. this wasn’t something he enjoyed, so he did what he normally wouldn’t do, asking for advice and who is that ?? ETHAN of course. ‘ doctor love at your service what may i help you with today ?? ’ he’s pulling that act again, as if he knows everything, but then again he does, possibly better than anyone. they were like brothers after all. - ––––– what makes you think i love her ?? ‘ everything you do and say. the way you act when she’s around. it’s quite funny watching you lie to yourself though. ’ he drops his phone onto the mattress frustration clear on his features as thoughts rushed through his mind. IN L O V E. it made sense, it always was, but he’d rather not even think about it. this time though he gives it a shot, her persona always present in his mind while he tries to figure out what it is, but this time it doesn’t seem as if he has to. anastasia, now he doesn’t push the thoughts related to her away, in fact this time he lets them stay, lets them develop into something else entirely, and it’s different, p l e a s i n g. ❝ i think i love her. ❞ a breathy whisper escapes him as he gazed at the ceiling. it was strange to even think about it, yes it’d been a while since they’d known each other, and yes they were quite close, but ti was strange to even think about. LOVE was something he’d never considered, in fact it was the one thing he’s always pushed away. - –––– for once you’re right. i think i do love her.

[truthundressing]

all my colleagues talking abt pay day and im here doing half their work like🧍