#myself at this point i literally go in and work on hyoervigilance and do checks at home to see if how im reacting is fact or fweling-

[grinchfemmemoving]

I literally cannot become close with a single more person who refuses to take care of themselves and be responsible for their actions. Literally if youre not in therapy which is incredibly possible even with restrictions i was in therapy when i was homeless for g-ds sake then the least you can do is hold urself accountable and seek out and use skills and tools that you can find online and from friends that better yourself. Because if you can do no wrong in your mind and you make people in your life feel like they cant tell u when u hurt ur feelings than you need therapy or an alternative. You cant just get away with being manipulative and shaping someone coming to u with a problem as them being a monster for having a simple feeling forever. Youre going to sabotage all your relationships until you return the same effort and/or fucking give a shit about your growth. You can make mistakes and slip ups and intent dont matter if you hurt a friend or step on their toes its unavoidable we are human and will do this with each other for eternity you will never be able to avoid basic conflict. If you cant handle that then u need serious serious growth and for that u need actual help regardless of how your selfish ass gets it. Youre not special. You dont get to act however you want and get away with it becuz u think u have it the hardest. If a dying fucking woman whos been homeless and in an abusive ecosystem for almost 26 years can get help from therapy, online resources, etc. Ur thick headed unfeeling ass can too.