#myself @ me: bitch when u make em

[toytulini]

jalapeño eggggggggggg

[pumpkinsy0]

outsiders characters as events from my silly ahh summer camp. i don't know how i survived for a month at a time there tbh

ponyboy: me going gollum mode over the hunger games book. it wasnt even a joke at that point i was struggling. also the pivotal turn my life took when i read hatchet. like i was reflecting and allat

darry: the DELECTABLE ahh lunches. idk what they did but they were so tasty. like i would have the best nap of my life after muching down on that

johnny: me crying myself to sleep that one time, some girl was like "erm miss counselor!!! i think insert name here is crying under her sleeping bag!!" and my bitch ass counselor who i HATED like she was my arch nemesis started trying to calm me down which made me even more upset. and earlier that day i was trying to feel included in a conversation w a semi friend and some cunt went like "no ones talking to u" when i was Literally just sitting there.

dally: that horse they assigned me that would not do anything asked of him. also one time he like broke out of his stall and was just walking around?? he was an interesting fellow. he was silly tho

soda: me getting sick from eating 2 much cereal. i was writhing around bc tummy ache 2 much later in the day. to be fair i did eat more than 10 servings of cereal.

steve: us having no air conditioning in the cabins. we had to bring our own fans. i had to shower multiple times a day bc I was sweating so much.

twobit: some girl mixing chicken and jello together. also me falling out of a bunk.

cherry: that time during horse and tack when we watched a movie bc it was too hot outside so we went in. but the movie was rlly sad and I cried

that was then… this now… ones

bryon: me almost drowning during one of the swimming performances. like I was lowk choking on water while under the sea was playing in the background.

mark: again that one damn counselor i hated so so much. like i was planning her downfall. why on God's green earth was she singing riptide while we were trying to sleep stfu

m&m: i would start randomly crying so often. i would miss lots of classes bc i would just be in the bathroom bawling for various reasons

angela: girls being so so mean to me. like it was a problem.

curly: me throwing hiking boots at a girl I didn't like

tim: them having to ban making slip n slides in the bathrooms. i didn't ask and i didn't want to know

most of these things aren't too relevant anymor but they kinda funny so here. i mean expand on these if u want. i can't put them on my blog bc it's not a TO blog but they need to be put somewhere

u made me remember this time where i just woke up weak as hell and my aunt had to literally spoonfeed me multiple bowls of cereal, to this day idk exactly HOW i got that weak, that has never happened to me before and it hasnt happened since

BUT ALSO i remember going to this summer camp and somehow someway we got into this gender prank war and im just pushing that onto all of em

and THEN there was this other time i was in this summer?????christian????school camp thing????? and look im an atheist idk what i was doing there i showed zero interest but my cousins and sister was also there, and for lunch we were going out which i dont think anyone else was doing bc my teacher asked “r u SURE u wanna go???” and i rhink she was pushing me to stay but i said yea and left immediately and i giggle at that and i think pony wluldve done the same, i wanted OUT🗣️

[tiredsmashbros]

HII UHH SO

I've been thinking about making a comic w ur oc, Im pretty sure his name is tsb??

basically, smg4 and him get into a fight for uh obvious reasons lmfao, the argument was gettin heated, and 4 ended up accidentally saying some hurtful shit like always, causing tsb to be like "BITCH-" and slapped em pretty hard, knocking dat meme boi to le ground, making 4 get the beeg sad 😖 (I portray 4 as being pretty sensitive to getting slapped sjrjskfjksj)

tari was watching the fight go down aaand when she saw tsb hurt 4 she was like "nahh bro that's crazy💀💀💀" and left with her meme boi leaving tsb in the room to be EXTRO DEPPRESO😔😔😔

so I was wondering if I could draw it sometime and post it!! tbh, I barely know anything about your character, but I think he has a lot of angst potential 🤭

if u don't want me to post it it's completely fine!! i jus wanted permission and maybe some more facts about tsb before I post it :)

if u haven't seen my drawings, here's a pretty good example of it!!!

POST IT. YES. YES A MILLION TIMES YES. I LOVE COMICS SO MUCH I WOULD GO OVER THE MOON IF YOU {OR ANYONE} ACTUALLY DID A TSB COMIC OH GOD OH MOLLY OH HELL, AND I AM LOVING UR VISION YESSSSSSS ANGSTTT GYIUHDWSEDCS DESPITE IM A HAPPY ENDING/SECRET TWIST GUY I GENUINELY FIND ANGST TO BE SO MUCH FUN- and horrifying... BUT FUN!!!!!!!!

{straight-up idk why, but this ask reminded me of my film era last semester when i was a film director IOHUGIHBDCSCDSA IDK IT WAS FUNNIER AND CHARMING IN MY HEAD AAAAAAAAAAAAA now i have to draw myself with shorter hair smh sad. i also dont know if u have a sona/oc so i just drew the character/smg4 from ur profile icon iuigyuhjecdwsxiuhj AND I LOVE UR ART IT'S SO CUTEEEE UYOGIXZGUIHXZDXFCGHVJBKNLM}

if ur really worried about getting tsb down correctly or getting to know more of him, i suggest going through the #tsb tags if u haven't already!! esp art/stuff from me specifically if ur looking for something certain/canon to tsb's character. i got some asks i've been itching to get to that will be more focused on lore-drop if u're willing to wait just a bit for me to get to! if u got smth more specific in mind u can't find, pls don't be afraid to dm me !!! :DD

[averagetmntfan]

a special thank you to my moots.

(TW: suicidal thoughts, ig?)

ahem- so as I have mentioned, today is my 1 year old this platform! I honestly cant believe it’s been this..long? A lot has happened, too. And honestly for the longest time, it wasn’t going well. Like- at all.

(rant continues under the cut:)

I’m don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. Im doing much better than before, so it’s really not a big deal anymore. I’m just giving some brief context for my 2023- early 2024 school year.

so, I made this blog a couple days before the whole situation went down. Which I think I briefly mentioned on here.

so for a bit, I had felt very uh- isolated in my friend group. I had kinda always been the odd one out. We had different interests. Their sort of fun was hangin’ out, gossiping and what not. And I was into cartoons, and art. I never really told them, though. There were sorta judgy, and I was very insecure. Because they make fun of people. And I didn’t wanna end up by myself.

But anyways- usually, they’d all leave. And tell me to watch their stuff. And since I’m sort of a pushover irl, I didn’t really argue about it. But when I say all of them leave-? I meant all of them. All 4 of em. And it often did upset me.

also they’d talk to people I didn’t even know- which, okay yeah- but I couldn’t talk to them. I didn’t wanna get dirty looks. I’m not a very outgoing person. I like to think I keep to myself often.

So, Halloween comes around. And this stuff doesn’t end. And for a bit more context, one of my friends was getting super annoying by me. And I’m pretty sure she didn’t like me, like- at all. She easily got annoyed at me. And only me.

so she went to the Halloween dance- last block of the day

blah blah skip to after school and I text the group- “where are u guys?” None of them respond. So I search a lil bit, then head outside. Where- guess what? All of them were.

I asked “Why didn��t you answer the text?”

and my friends that gets annoyed at my easily said a snarky “my phone was off.” And was generally just being fucking bitch. And I use to be a big crybaby and stuff- and eventually grew out of it. But this- this sentence really upset me. I stormed off, avoiding all of them.

eventually I got on my bus and- well. Uh. Let my feelings out, if you will. I remember it very cleary, too. It was one of the most tears I had shed in a long time.

I get home, and the girl texts the gc, clamming I stormed off for “no reason” and I had enough. Saying smth “I obviously didnt storm off for no fucking reason”

a bit more of arguing keeps going, and a lot more sobs. It was one of the worst days I had ever had.

a few more days go by, and the situation gets worse. I avoid all of them, and hung out w/ a diff friend. I ranted/vent to her, telling her my friend was a Hippocrate for complaining about our other friends leaving, even tho she did the EXACT same fucking thing.

Which, was talking shit. So that wasn’t great and rlly bad of me. And I guess karma hit hard bc she texted me after school, saying I was talking shit abt her. Bc my friend was friends with her friends. So..awkward..

and really- the next day, it was over. I was free. But at what cost, really? I lost all my friends. Became an outcast, really. It was pathetic, now that I think about it.

for the rest of the year, I rarely spoke to them. And never talked to the other girl.

I spent most my time in the library, reading. And skipping out on eating. I was so unhappy. I don’t wanna say depressed but- very close.

it really made me hate who I was. It made me feel like a terrible person.

And that’s when I really did start using Tumblr more. It was sort of an escape, of mine. And god, I’m so glad I set up and account. I Met do many amazing and unique people one here.

This is sort of corny but, I really think this has helped me through a lot. Since a few months early I lost my privileges to tik tok, and discord. Which, yeah. Sucked.

but so many things had happened-! Joined a rp group, met a new online friend (which we are now very very close<3), found out about a LOT of facts, found other people who shared my interests!

so here we are, one year later.

it was really something. I’ve met so many wonderful people on here, man. Especially my moots. You guys know who you are. I’m not gonna tag you guys, but I’ll do a quick smth smth ig

FIRST OF- my first closest moots-!! Ghosty, cookie, Sleepy, Ally, And my Pooks, Ari. So many awesome things happened with these guys. A lot of funny moments, too. Lmao.

AND ALL MY RAMSHACKLE PEEPS- dew, anomaly, Schnozz, reboot, Bailey, lilac,- you guys are literally AWESOME UGH- I seriously enjoy every interaction I have with you guys. It genuinely makes me so happy

sorry this is super corny and stuff, I really wanted to make something meaningful for this. Thank you guys for being so amazing.<3

— jj

[hyunpic]

HAIIIIII HAIIIII HAIIIII II III II i hit a big milestone on skz comeback day so i decided to do a lil thank u post or whatever idk. ive never done one of these in my tumblr career . As u can see ….. and the quality of the banner is trash just like where hyunjin almost fell. Can u just think of it as 5 minutes of crafts and like this is sooo five years old child making a Mother’s Day card to her mom. It’s full of love anyway 😻 i was writing this post while taking hits of my vanilla vape and it ran out of nicotine juice so im struggling and can’t focuse anymore 👍 pls forgive me this is gonna be very messy 😄

anyway these are no in particular order and sorry if i forgot someone 😔😔😔😔 this is what makes me so nervy that i have never made a post like this before like 😔 i don’t want to forget anyoneeeeeee also tumblr wouldn’t let me add more so blame them and not me DUMBLR 😡🍅🍅🍅🍅 thank u so much for sticking around and u are all so very dear to me in all of your unique ways:

@woozis @woodziecup @christakisbang @y-eontan @hyuncheols @ughbehavior @londonsboy @minchanz @minhosblr @morgoth @leenope @theboytatu @shnryjn @yang-innie @snug-gyu @jinniebit @ttathinker @digitalgirls @agibbangs @haenglixie @bangzchan @megaversed @yangjeongin @hyunchanz @seungminhos @chanstopher @chanrizard @djxiao @possession1981 @yunwooz @hyunjinz @exocean @onedoors @seungmoes @geniaparadox @kimtaegis @hyunjinz @cowboybin @farascha @wooobinz @taedongz

@strayklds: em i love to see u in my notifications and in my dms and perceiving u content and and and and etc. seeing u here always feels like the biggest warmest and welcoming hug. you are simply just like jisung - the best friend shaped guy and ilu so much for that 💖

@hanarchy: WAAAAAAA my chris.. this is so different cause we have actually met. thank y for always taking care of me… u are so so dear to me. like i will never forget the feeling of breaking down in tears when we got to lolla area and i realized i will see skz and u made sure i was okay. it will be my core memory till im in my death bed. i love u and your company and that we can bitch to each other about stuff and u just get me and i get u… i hope we can keep holding hands and making many more memories together 💘

@wantbytaemin: MY FUCKING MAIN SLAYEEEEEER it’s no joke that u stan taemin and u are a queen yourself as well… like greatness recognizes greatness. a piece of my heart is still in that weird little airbnb i shared with you in paris and whenever im sad i wish i could be there with you. my forever destined roommate or whatever idek. but i love u with all of my heart. The way we clicked right away when we met is crazy to me like i felt like i had known u forever. U are just soooOoooo amazing words can’t even describe 💘 ilyilymwahhhh

@izayaki MYYYYYY CARLYBEANNNNNNN MY CARLYBEANNNNNNNN MY CARLYBEANNN I FUCKING LOVE U U ARE EVERYTHING TO ME!!!! you could only treat me as your local sandman if u wished but i wouldn’t care like i love u so much!!!! i know i can always count u to be so crazy with me when it comes to hyunjin. also i feel like it’s worth mentioning that u make me feel so comfortable around u. i feel like i can finally be like myself whenever i talk with you :(( like u accept me just how i am and it means so much to me… idk i just feel like i will love u unconditionally and 4ever or whatever katy perry said in that one hit song of hers.

@sunmisbf we will one day smoke together. like idec how many years it will take. we will sit at that porch when we are 80 years old grandmas and we will share a joint and talk about our good old kpop days. u are a delight here and i would feel so empty if i didn’t follow u.

@dowoonyoon: my favoritest penpal.. the way u are engraved in my heart forever. u are just as lovely as taylor swift love songs, i hope u know that. im so happy to scream about anything and whatever with u. WE WILL GET MORE OF THOSE TAYLOR AND SKZ CRUMBS NEXT YEAR 🕯️🕯️🕯️

@yonglixx my sun sunny sunshine!!!! you might be one of the most supportive people on tumblr and i think we as a community need more people like u around. your light and positivity doesn’t go unnoticed. im glad to call u my friend 🌞

@ortali my cutie ortal… my favorite hyunie stan ever. me and u are the same and i miss u so dearly everyday whenever u aren’t here. tumblr isn’t the same without your presence. you bring me so much comfort and serenity and im so thankful that the world brought you to me 😣💘

@seungs: ik u hate sappy things but i will still shamelessly admit you are one of my favorite people ever here. im always here for your thoughts like i neEEED to hear them u know. you are so wise and collected and talented (ggoat = greatest gif maker of all time) that i aspire to be like u in so many ways like i just adore u so much hehe. i hope to be like u or whatever woodz said. i hope we get to meet once skz all around the world drags their booties to here mwah 💋

@seo-changbinnies: my trusted pc trader like trust all of my bin pcs will come to your way every comeback. it’s a tradition atp to stress over the international mail but i wouldn’t change a thing. u are a joy to be around and a blessing to this hellsite. so much happiness and joy radiating your tags that i couldn’t imagine tumblr without your presence. love u sososoo much 💖

@hyunsung: hello HELLOOOOO reach out to me im one of your biggest fans. i see a gifset of yours and i will be getting that thing to at least 1k notes like that’s the minimum they all deserve. you make art here and i think everyone should acknowledge it and appreciate it!!!!!!!! your name is mona just like one of the most famous art pieces of this whole world. i think it tells so much ‼️‼️

@chrisbangs my liiii my little moon… u are one of my first stayblr friends and i love u to the moon and back. whenever we catch up it’s like catching up with an old childhood bestie. nothing changed and the connection and love is always there. u mean so much to me than words could ever describe. i will forever be here rooting for you thousands miles away but our hearts will stay always connected 💘

@young-jae my forever only love sohvi. u have been here for me since the day one like im not even kidding… u know me through and through and i consider u my family at this point. i know if i fall to a dark place, i got your shoulder to lean on and that means the world to me. and same with you. you own my heart forever and always. i need to hug u so badly, i know i have the bestest hug in the world stored for u that i have been holding bag just to save it for u 💘 esc2024 here we come

@ye-xiu i feel like me and u are a married couple at this point like we have been through so much together and separately too like WOWIUUEEEEEE u are like a solid rock to me. a constant force that i can count on and i value it so much. i feel like i have told u this before but i love when u write.. u have a way with your words that always seem to touch places in my heart that i didn’t even know were there. hmm.. whatever does it ever drive u crazy how fast the night changes but it will never change me and u (that’s literally 1d lyrics but it just fits us)

@huiracha omg i adore u so much like 😭😭😭😭😭 IM SIMPLY A PEASANT WHILE PERCEIVING UR CONTENT. the way i have like actually kicked my feet few times in my bed when u rebloged something from me.. idk u are like my tumblr crush marie.. i just had to let u know here publicly!!!!!

@mybodyfails my sweetest oli with sososooooo much love to give…. u are sooooooo special. always rooting for me and hyping me up like half of my self confidence comes from your kindness. i hope you that passionate love you give out to the world will find you eventually. im glad to act as a cupid in your life too like that’s one of my greatest accomplishments and i will be mentioning it in my next job interview 😼

@hyumjim my funny guy Emily… u are like one of the funniest and craziest (in a good day at) people i have ever met. your energy irl also is just so joyful like i for real feel like i would never be depressed if i could spend at least few days a week with you (maybe that’s why u are a therapist… woah 🫨)

[1-800-ye0sangspr1ncess]

I have been having this thot for a while

just imagine hoshi having a crush on cheol's gf, keeping it a secret from everyone, being hurt whenever he sees them together acting all lovey dovey with each other.

he knows that they love eachother but he cant help but think that if, what if it was him insted of cheol, loving u, kissing u, taking care of u, making love to u.

he didnt realize when his soft pure feelings for u turned into this intense passionate lust to make u his and his only.

having wet dreams about u two having this almost animalistic sex, he cant help but jerk off in the middle of the night.

oh....oh my.. the more i read on, the messier this got and yet i can't help but wish i found myself in a situation like this.... let me write you all the closest we'll get to this. and anon pairing: soonyoung x reader (indirectly) warnings: soonyoung is downright delulu for oc, shit ton of jealousy, fantasies of infidelity (fucking another man's girl), use of the nickname (sooyoo) and pet names (baby, sweetie, honey) NUMEROUS times, oc has size kink(loves how big sooyoo is, with that said...), dig bick soonyoung, "oblivious" cheol, lowkey not so humble bragger (loves letting everybody know 'you're his' type shit) cheol, jihoon & jeonghan feature, alcohol consumption, sorta subspace soonyoung??? (not proof read)

Open Arms - Kwon Soonyoung

soonyoung lazily turned the front door knob to his dark and cold apartment. The silence that enclosed him in the space made it all the more apparent that for yet another night, he was lonely and you were far from being his. the smell of his spirit-tainted clothes and mouth, clinging to him the way he'd hoped your body would've by the end of the night.

it's not that soonyoung wasn't happy for his friend seungcheol... actually, that's exactly what it was. he himself was taken aback by just how sincere-sounding his laughing along with everyone throughout dinner was, as you recalled how seungcheol had forgotten to transfer yours and his photos of your recent vacation from the disposable camera before he absent-mindedly threw it away this morning.

"well, excuse me, miss 'let's get a disposable camera to embody a true traveller's lifestyle' tsk" he pitched his voice a few octaves higher to mimic your statement from two weeks back. "ok bitch, first of all, I don't sound like that," you pinched seungcheol's cheek, leaving him scrunching his face in what the rest of the group members couldn't help but laugh off and interpret as pure agony "ow! damn what'd you pinch me for?" soonyoung rolled his eyes, "sickening..." he murmured to himself, dragging out a sip of his chilled bourbon, "and secondly, it's not my fault they haven't figured out a way to make 'em automatically transfer to your phone?! you'd know if what you had bothered to read the instructions token, mister" you playfully huffed.

"yeah, well, that'll teach us to never buy a two-dollar camera again. besides, I've got all those pretty pictures of you engraved in my mind" he chuckled, coming teasingly close to you, soonyoung with a frown less than containable, paying careful attention to the hand that danced its way around your waist from above the table. the hold on his glass visibly tightening, "ehem..." jeonghan pulled him from the boiler room of his thoughts. "you know, I never took you for the jealous kind." he jeered. "oh yeah? that obvious is it?" he placed his glass down on the table, the ice having burned his hand from how long it cupped it. "well, we've changed the conversation about three times and you've been staring at the...lack of a gap between cheol and y/n's waists for the past three minutes or so" his eyes now back to momentarily facing the place of general conversation, returning to see a ticked-off soonyoung. "c'mon aren't you of all people even a little grossed out by the excessive amount of pda right now?" he gestured his hand to the direction of yourself and seungcheol, who currently were giggling to yourselves about whatever seungcheol fucked up this time around. "I dunno, I think they're kinda cute" jeonghan teasingly knocked his shoulder against soonyoung's. he lived for the sole purpose of annoying his friends, and soonyoung was no exception. "I'm gonna go get some fresh air." he abruptly stood up from the table, all eyes now on him, a mix of unphased and all-the-more apparent confusion splashed across the table's faces. "everything alright, sooyoo?" your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, glossy pillowy lips turned down all just the same. oh, how his heart ached and his ears perked all at once at the nickname. expression softening at your concern "just peachy!" a wide grin making its way unknowingly across his face, "let us know if you need anything bud." your boyfriend just couldn't help himself could he. always feeling the need to butt in and ruin things. the sweet gaze you'd bestowed him, he'd quickly tattooed in his mind, now turned bitter by cheol's genuine remark of concern. "will do." soonyoung thumbed up, not even turning to face cheol as he walked out the door.

"what was that about?" jihoon now sat adjacent to jeonghan, filling soonyoung's seat, "mmhhm," he shrugged, "something about bitter and sweet..." it had only occurred to him now as he replayed the night's events that he'd never actually turned back and had gotten all the way home. "fuck..." he muttered. too drained physically and emotionally to turn back and apologize for taking long, even though the bar was across the street. "what's that asshole have that I don't?" he thought, taking his shoes off before placing them on their spotlit shelf before hurriedly moving to the primary bathroom. now disrobing himself and hopping into the shower, the tension leaving his body as the steam fogged up the glass of the box and mirrors. he thought the anxiety had fully rid itself from him, only for it to creep back once he'd made his way out of the shower to see two notifications from you, one being a missed call. his mind raced, thinking of how upset or hurt you must've been for him to have walked out, judging by the time, he was almost certain dinner was long over by now. he hesitantly played the voice note, only to be pleasantly surprised with your honey-coated voice and the soft humming of the car. "hey sooyoo, you left your coat on your seat and you weren't back by the time dinner wrapped up so cheollie and I took your coat for you." a humph of satisfaction erupting from him but your boyfriend's nickname left a bitter taste in his mouth. "hey bud,' the male's voice interjected, blaring through the phone's speaker, turning the volume down in annoyance he continued to listen "y/n thought about dropping it off for you but we'll swing by tomorrow. i told her, knowing your rowdy ass, you're probably not even home yet so we figured we wouldn't bother you." he chuckled, to which soonyoung involuntarily rolled his eyes in distaste. "anyways sooyoo, drink some water and get some rest. we'll see you tomorrow around noon-ish... if you ever need anybody to talk to...I'm here." he was in agony. oh, how badly he wished you wouldn't speak to him as a mere friend, how he craved for there to be space to drop the formalities, so desperate for you that he'd let you speak to him wherever and however you wanted. he loved your cute voice, how it deepened a bit in your fits of rage, how raspy and raw he'd imagine it to be if you had chosen to spend the night with him. in all the apparentness of his loneliness, the closest he had to physical consolement being his silk pjs and his weighted blanket. their respective embraces only prompting him to shift deep into thought.

how he wished it were him instead of seungcheol whose arms you found solace in. how he wished you'd laugh at his jokes with nearly as much relish as you did your boyfriend's. how he wished you wouldn't have to enlighten him of your support of him, how if it was you and him, you'd be there with open arms, and without the exchange of a single word, he'd fall into them as you encasing him tightly with your plush arms. he yearned for your kisses peppering his face as tears rolled down his soft cheeks. he ached for your words of comfort.

"it's ok baby, i'm right here." you rubbed his head, pampering him with soft pats and rubs along his back. "I'm all yours, I promise." you spoke softly to him, not wanting to break the intimate bubble encasing the two of you. "mine?" he sniffled staring into your eyes, the eyes that only softened when they saw him. the eyes he got lost in frequently upon your encounters. wanting nothing more but to drown in your pupils. "mhm." you agreed with a soft smile which only ever melted his heart. you found yourselves in his bedroom, standing at the foot of the bed, angling your head to close the gap between the two of you "but what about seungcheol?" the feeling of jealousy now replaced with genuine concern "like I said baby, I'm all yours." hesitance soon forgotten as he leaned in, your lips even softer than that of what he imagined, hints of cocoa now smothered on his top lip from your gloss, not that he minded.

he was in ecstasy, the one person he ached for most in this world, was right in front of him. he'd long forgotten seungcheol whose obliviousness he chuckled at, as he replayed your words in his head "yours..."

soon after, your figure was sandwiched between his thighs. his towel licking a long stripe up his length, your doe eyes staring up into his through your B9 false lashes, too lazy from the night's festivities to remove your makeup, you summoned the remainder of your energy to make him feel special and feel special he did, the maintenance of eye contact sending a shudder along his spine. "you're so nice and big honey, " you tease, leaving a kiss on his tip, staining it with your lip gloss "can barely fit you in my hands, let alone my mouth." soonyoung's chest heaving in desperation at this point. you'd teased him for what had only been a mere 45-second interval but to him, resembled a century. "please baby, don't tease." the sight of his own tip flushed an angry pink tone, precum threatening to leak and splotches of your glittery lip gloss had him ready to explode.

"so impatient..." you slapped his thigh lightly, his abs flexing upon the sting post-contact. before he could get another word in, you sunk your mouth onto his length for the first time that evening. "oh fuck," the sight of you so eager to please him, and so abruptly too had him in a frenzy. "I knew your pretty mouth was good for more than just talking" the globs of spit that remained on the sides of his cock each time you glided up soon forming a pool at its base. you collected some and used it as lube to tug at the parts of him you couldn't fit. "just like that, sweetie" he praised you as your hand and mouth worked rhythmically in unison. the pet name had your pussy drooling. you were so cock-hungry, the portion of him you already had filling your mouth wasn't enough. you took it upon yourself to push yourself all the way down on him, nose touching his pelvic bone and his tip reaching the far back of your throat "fuck that's it, baby, fuck-, just like that sweetie" soonyoung was nothing short of a gentleman, he wasn't one to be a pusher but he couldn't help but to be eager. especially when you sucked him off so good.

tears welled in your eyes as you repeated the motion, you wanted your baby to feel good, judging by how his hitched breathing and whines got more audible, you were doing a great job. "fuck sweetie, I love you so much" the rambling mess he'd become was a clear indication he was close, a few more tugs of his cock and you had him cumming all over your pretty face. the sight made his cock twitch. being the freak he was, he wanted nothing more than to kiss you, creamy white goodness and all.

the only thing stopping him was the sudden knock on the front door. pulling him into a void of post-nut clarity, allowing him to open his eyes to the pathetic sight of his empty, now un-fitted sticky bed sheet, with the only token of gratitude, he imagines you to have left him being a new stain on his favourite ivory satin sheet.

"well shit..."

AN: AHHHHHHH my first full length fic, fucking hell i'm so excited for you all to read this. like WHAT? I ACTUALLY LIKE MY WORK FOR ONCE (I'll definitely come back to proof-read my work in the morning and be like "what the fuck?"). to the person who mad this request. thank you so much my love, you;ve helped me regain my confidence and I'm so very sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you, I know you asked me in the early parts of this year and I just couldn't pull myself out of this slump. thank you and I hope you like it. much love to you all and keep requesting! xoxo, gossip girl... just kidding 1-800-ye0sangspr1ncess.

[manari-archives]

emails i can't send fwd: masterlist

note: some of the stories are not inspired by the entire song and only a couple of lines or verses.

001. emails i can't send | CS55

It's times like these, wish I had a time machine So I could see what you did And thanks to you I, I can't love right I get nice guys and villainize them

002. Vicious | CS55

You're lucky I'm a private person I've quietly carried your burden, and Everyone thinks you're an angel But, shit, I would probably use different wordin'

003. Read your Mind | MV1

To think that we could be casual You're not my friend And, baby, you never were Why the fuss if you say you just wanna be mine?

004. Tornado Warnings | LH44

I'll drive you home ,You drive me crazy But that's not gonna stop me I'll call you out, You call me "baby"

005. because i liked a boy | GR63

Tell me who I am, guess I don't have a choice All because I liked a boy You said I'm too late to be your first love, but I'll always be your favorite

006. Already Over | MS47

We been talkin' for hours 'bout how we shouldn't talk for hours on end Kissing after a conversation 'bout how we'd probably be better off as friends

007. how many things | LS18

I wonder how many things you think about before you get to me I wonder how many things you wanna do you think I'm in-between I feel myself falling further down your priorities And I still make excuses for you constantly

008. bet u wanna | DR3

When you don't have control of who I'm holdin' Is it feeding all your fears? Bet you miss me, bet you're reminiscin' I bet you hate the way that you said goodbye

009. Nonsense | MS47

You said you like my eyes and you like to make 'em roll Treat me like a queen, now you got me feelin' thrown, oh I think I got an ex, but I forgot him

010. Fast Times | LN4

Couple days in, I call you "baby" Three stories up here contemplatin' But what the fuck is patience Give me a second to forget I ever really meant it

011. skinny dipping | DR3

But both of us, we'll be thinking about how different we are From those scared little kids that had those Arguments in your garage All the ways we sabotaged it What it was and what it wasn't

012. Bad for Business | LH44

We look good in photographs, I like the way you like to laugh At dirty jokes, I know they'll always land Used to get to work on time, but now you're taking up my nights Never been so glad to be so tired

013. decode | MV1

There's a weight off my shoulders now that I don't chase you Being myself, did that emasculate you? Learning from you that I can walk away too

014. opposite | CL16

Oh so you do have a type? And it's not me Oh so you can reply? Just to not me So y'all are in Paris now? Guess it's public Face like that other girl,You're in love with

015. Feather | CL16

Your signals are mixed, You act like a bitch You fit every stereotype, "Send a pic" I got you blocked, Excited to never talk I'm so sorry for your loss

016. Lonesome | GR63

If I fall in love with all my problems, will they leave me too? Well maybe I believed in all your lies, 'cause I believed in you Why were you somewhere else when you were next to me? I know, you know, it keeps me up

017. things i wish you said | LN4

When I saw you cry, I didn't handle it well Without you here I don't know what to do with myself I hope you know it scared me to death The night that your sister said that you got in an accident

[borathae]

Chapter 6

HOSEOK BITCH STOP GRANDMA???? THATS A STRETCH AND KNOWING U ARE AN ANCIENT BEING, DAMN I-

Hoseok stumbles, colliding with Seokjin’s chest. ofc he laughs with his entire body FUCK I MISS HIM WTF NAH NOPE WE WONT CRY WE MUST STAY FOCUSED BROTHER

JIN U BETRAYED ME??? HOW COULD YOU

Seokjin pleads, giving you the biggest puppy eyes that man hates aegyo on command, but watch his ass do aegyo on command if its on run bts tasks 😭 ik he will be the most supportive one if you told bts you are selling feet pics

who calls their fraternity Alpha? What kind of superiority complex do they have?” 💯fr

What are you? Secret vampires or something?” um

So mysterious”, Hoseok says, ok ig

“that man can be an asshole.” WHAT DO U MEAN MY KITTY IS AN ASSHOLE????

dig his metaphorical fangs into your neck and drain you of your metaphorical blood WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? (ik what it means, but 👀👀)

at least she got her sleep and is stress free now, i guess thats a win

JAMAL CHILL?? OOH JIN TELL EM SIS, WHATS HIS PROBLEM?

they are quaking with the desire to punch each other’s faces in. BE LESBIAN, PROBLEM SOLVED YEEHAW

Without me? homie really said that with his whole chest

It’s one of those activities you like to call terribly boring." ??? sir ??

also u know what, i will make it unboring for you real quick, lets go on a pirate ship, that will make u scream

dont judge my man yall, he was giving birth to lie on the pirate ship

WHAT DID TAE TELL HIM???? JAMAL SMILED AT ME??? his moodswings be like ➡️⬅️⬆️⬇️↗️↘️↙️↖️↕️↔️🔄️↪️↩️⤴️⤵️🔃

joon asks me out to study AAAAAAH 😩

holding his arm before you giggle into it. *twitching eyes WHY SHE GOTTA LIVE MY DREAM AAH BUTTER TAE THOSE ARMSS 🤤😋

“Oh you’re still here?” Taehyung asks STOP HE IS SOO SASSY, GIVE THAT MAN LONG NAILS

making Taehyung chuckle.......... one of his weirdly dishonest ones. tae when jin forces him to laugh at puns (that still makes me cackle)

He is a self-centred peacock PEACOCK DAMN GURL

“Violence is never the answer IT IS THE SOLUTION

ok sorry tae, back to serious mode, IS THAT FORESHADOW TO HIS PAST(mentioned in drabbles)

we are going swing dancing today UWUW

I can’t dance. What if I make a fool of myself?” I CANT DANCE EITHER, LETS GET MARRIED we can swing dance together for shits and giggles and get drunk in each other's laughter and smile, kissing passionately as if we are still in high school.

(omg that was so romantic, lemme just copy that)

did i tell you i still love the way he talks, its so coquette, in a manly way

I am a terrible student. i got exams in a month i have barely studied 😃😭

time does really fly fr it does, you wish it went fast, but when you think back, you wish you could live in that moment one more time

“cake is quite the delicacy oof the fanciness

ah yes old stuff *sighs in delight and coziness

There is fog in the air. It got stuck on the rooftops of the houses. Like a perfect gradient it makes them disappear into a grey nothingness. if this scene was on tv, what color light would it have?? (background lights you know) i was thinking of yellow, since we are talking about antiques

“I guess…” you look out the window for quite some time to think of an answer. You look at the perfectly polished stones of the sidewalk. You watch how the rain builds little rivers in the nooks and crannies. And that is when you get your answer. and the lights slowly becomes cool and blue (blue for calm, unity and stability)

thats a nice perspective of history but for the love of god, i cant stay awake or mentally present during it 😭

With your cheeks burning up like crazy and a big smile on your face you look out of the window again. A swing song comes on the radio, Taehyung turns it louder the tiniest bit. AND THE LIGHTS TURN PINK

“N-no? I-I’m alright”, you stutter. we can see that

Taehyung gets a few (probably painful) steps on his toes, but he doesn’t say anything. MASOCHIST ALERT 😭

stop flattering me im shyyyyy *shakes booty like jimin

this is so cute bye im soo single

“this was like in the movies! Do it again!” SHE IS SOO CUTE UWUW MOVE TAE SHE IS MINE *hits the gym so i can yeet tae out of the way and carry her

HE DID IT AGAIN HEEEHEEEEHEHHE

“Okay but that throwing thing you did? You can’t just do that without training first. Also why are you so strong? It’s inhuman really.” SAY IT SIS

I just think you are beyond precious”BYE IM GONE

Why do an elderly lady and Taehyung know each to such extent that they are hugging as if they were two old friends reuniting? dont overthink, they are just besties, um they met on a idk metro yeah

“it’s been so many years and yet you still look the same. While look at me”, OBVIOUSLY ITS SUS

Perhaps I should have taken the offer back then.” 👀👀

“What offer?” um the plastic surgery offer, anti aging laser. HERBS YEAH IT WAS THE HERBS, SHE MISSED OUT ON AN HERBAL MASSAGE

No way! That’s splendid! Just what you dreamt of!” they are such cute besties pls

It is hard not to choke on your olive, not when your body is burning up like that. i choked on air

How is it?” WHY IS THIS SOO HOT STOP DONT FOLD THAT FAST BITCH NA UH *also folds like a lawn chair in a sec

Taehyung gets off the barstool and closes the distance between you and him. SIR MY MENTAL HEALTH???

you stutter, knees buckling slightly as he helps you stand up. SLIGHTLY???? u mean buckling like a trying on heels

You haven’t told anyone ever but in your dreams you always pictured your prince charming to be good with elderly people and kids. Not that you would tell anyone your stupid fantasies, but you really did picture him like that. we all do, tae is a prince charming *sighs in high standards

“I think you gave that lady proper heart palpitations fr, i got so giddy just reading

And so full of life”, 👀👀👀as opposed to what sir???

Taehyung seems properly flustered for a moment, eyes flitting downwards and blinking rapidly. YES WE GOT THE CUTIE PIE FLUSTERED YEEHAW THIS IS A WIN FOR THE GAYS AND UNGAYS (i love to use this in sentences unrelated to sexuality)

quite sad to think that we are looking at something which has died thousands of years ago ... Well if you say it like that mood sis

it is nice to know that we can look at the past when we look at the stars?” waaaah im in love with her

I always thought of them as a reminder of death”, “or rather hell.” AYO??👀👀

they are still burning bright. Mustn’t it be such a burden to never get to rest?” ooh

*starts playing love maze

“Then you mess up, you mustn’t worry about mistakes you haven’t even made yet” i will try to remember this all the time

because right now I am thinking that this lamp is also alone, surrounded by darkness and thick fog and it should feel so terribly lonely and yet here it is, outshining both of them." 

HOW DO U WRITE THIS WELL?? LEAVE US SOME TALENT CRUMBS

People normally aren’t happy when they are around you and finally experiencing it feels so good.  WHO HURT YOU POOKIE??? IM COMING WITH MY FRYING PAN

this is soo cute i cant, the writing, them, the lamp and the stars gosh, i feel so giddy i wanna spin around the lamppost like a simp does in music videos

Yes darling” Taehyung whispers and there is obvious seduction in his voice. OHO HO HO I SEE U NAUGHTY BOI

this was a cute chapter im gonna sleep soo good with idk grass and unicorns in my dreams

HOSEOK BITCH STOP GRANDMA???? THATS A STRETCH AND KNOWING U ARE AN ANCIENT BEING, DAMN I-

lmoaoao he is so mean for no reason fajsdfja I love him JFAJDFJ

Hoseok stumbles, colliding with Seokjin’s chest. ofc he laughs with his entire body FUCK I MISS HIM WTF NAH NOPE WE WONT CRY WE MUST STAY FOCUSED BROTHER

LISTEN I MISS HIM TOO OMFG I'M IN PAIN

Seokjin pleads, giving you the biggest puppy eyes that man hates aegyo on command, but watch his ass do aegyo on command if its on run bts tasks 😭 ik he will be the most supportive one if you told bts you are selling feet pics

I miss him so much 😭 BUT ALSO LESS THAN A MONTH TILL HE IS BACK OMGMGMG (the most supportive for feet pics would be Tae though change my mind. you can't.)

who calls their fraternity Alpha? What kind of superiority complex do they have?” 💯fr

no but it will ALL MAKE SENSE LIKE LIKE LIEK LIEKEKE LIKEKE

“that man can be an asshole.” WHAT DO U MEAN MY KITTY IS AN ASSHOLE????

the foreshADOWINGNNG (i said too much)

dig his metaphorical fangs into your neck and drain you of your metaphorical blood WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? (ik what it means, but 👀👀)

HELLOOOOOOOOOO

Without me? homie really said that with his whole chest

THE JEALOUSY of this man LIKE

It’s one of those activities you like to call terribly boring." ??? sir ??

i love their sass fr fjadsjf

WHAT DID TAE TELL HIM???? JAMAL SMILED AT ME??? his moodswings be like ➡️⬅️⬆️⬇️↗️↘️↙️↖️↕️↔️🔄️↪️↩️⤴️⤵️🔃

perhaps something with her metaphorical blood HELLOO

joon asks me out to study AAAAAAH 😩

AAAH (scared)

holding his arm before you giggle into it. *twitching eyes WHY SHE GOTTA LIVE MY DREAM AAH BUTTER TAE THOSE ARMSS 🤤😋

when this video dropped I lost IT

ok sorry tae, back to serious mode, IS THAT FORESHADOW TO HIS PAST(mentioned in drabbles)

mhmhmmhmh

time does really fly fr it does, you wish it went fast, but when you think back, you wish you could live in that moment one more time

YES THIS OMFG the most painful thing ever 😭

ALSO I love how you thought of different colours during the scene <3 I love this energy heheh <3

Taehyung gets a few (probably painful) steps on his toes, but he doesn’t say anything. MASOCHIST ALERT 😭

there are no lies to be found here tbfh

“this was like in the movies! Do it again!” SHE IS SOO CUTE UWUW MOVE TAE SHE IS MINE *hits the gym so i can yeet tae out of the way and carry her

NO BUT THANK YOU i LOVE HER SO MUCH she is so cute frrr

“it’s been so many years and yet you still look the same. While look at me”, OBVIOUSLY ITS SUS

it IS

lmaooao you losing it over Tae existing is so me fr

it is nice to know that we can look at the past when we look at the stars?” waaaah im in love with her

me fr

I always thought of them as a reminder of death”, “or rather hell.” AYO??👀👀

THE FORESHADOWING GOES CRAZY FR ps: i forgot the stars and photography part during this chapter and now im <3 holy moly they were so cute together in the beginning im so soft

People normally aren’t happy when they are around you and finally experiencing it feels so good.  WHO HURT YOU POOKIE??? IM COMING WITH MY FRYING PAN

NO BUT FR

this is soo cute i cant, the writing, them, the lamp and the stars gosh, i feel so giddy i wanna spin around the lamppost like a simp does in music videos

I'M HAPPY YOU LOVED IT SO MUCH HEHEHE 💜💜

[b3achysurfur]

fuck Logan, like really. I actually hate him so much. I cant stand looking at him. Everytime I hear about him I contemplate killing myself. He makes me pull my hair out strand by strand. I have so many questions to ask him. a lot of which include “can you act normal?” “ur one werid ass mf?” “u smell like a can of bounce tha ass?” “when’s the last time you took a shower?” “can you die soon?” “I hope you get stuck in the phantom world alone? forever?”. yk logans really werid because, well he’s Logan, and also because he’s just fucking werid!! I actually physically hate what he’s like. everyone else in the main cast got good 5S’ but Logan?? HORRIBLE. it’s actually so YUCK! he’s so iffy I just want to lock him away forever. #derogatory ! this kid talkin ab sm “I love the stars🥺” as if he can even see em. they live in a city / suburb , stars are covered by light pollution. Or maybe they’re hiding from that nerdy creep that keeps tryin look at them. shit. I would too!! Either way, Logan is on some sorta 🍃 if he thinks he can see the constellations. prob got it from his grandpa. haha. not to mention he doesn’t have any home training. his dumbass always gotta be in everyone else’s business. maybe instead of tryin sneak a peek at Bens sketchbook you should sneak a peak in that mirror and fix your mf face!! You guys fell into his trap. you guys are all nice to him, but little do yk, that’s what he wants. He’s plotting. And y’all keep falling into his trap head first!! y’all fell for it!! not me tho. because you gotta know nerdy freaks like Logan are ALWAYS up to some funky shit and ya gotta keep an eye out. see Logan got the advantage here bc he got 4 fuckin eyes, but if I slap those glasses, he down to (maybe) one , if it wanna work that day. he’s so evil. I was mourning Aiden and he thought he could sneak away. he took my grief as an escape route from my hate. cheeky bitch. anyways, the day me and Logan get to scrap it out , the world will be at peace because Logan will be gone.

[stellisen]

drug deals going wrong

info: This oneshot is gonna be from the episode ‘trying to get to heaven before they close the door' 

y/n is ashtray’s twin in this and it’s during the drug deal/kidnapping thingy 

y/n pov:

I was in the car with Rue and my brothers Fez, and Ash. We were on our way to do some drug shit or something, honestly I don’t fucking know what I’m doing here but family business I guess. Plus, someone’s gotta make sure Ash doesn’t kill everyone. Rue was singing some 2pac song, I think it’s called Hit’ Em Up, and Ash was playing with his gun or somethin’.

The car stopped and I saw two people come out from the shadows, Fez stepped out of the car and walked up to them. I could hear him ask why the girl was there and the guy saying something about it bein’ his girl. Fezco walked back with the blonde girl right behind him. 

The blonde girl went to sit in the backseat, so I pushed Ash against the car door and took his seat. “The fuck is you doin’!” Ash complained when he hit his head in the car window. I just looked at him and grinned. 

Fezco just ignored us and said “Alright, no funny business you guys” he then nodded at Ashtray who opened the door and got pushed out by me. “What the fuck bro” he exclaimed from the ground and I just laughed at him. 

Rue and the blonde girl, who’s name was Faye, were doin’ some drugs or some shit in the back and I was just mindin’ my own fucking business when I felt someone grabbing me.

“Why’d the fuck did u bring two whores and a pair of twelve year-olds to a drug deal, bro?” some guy questioned.  “We’re 14 you bald bitch” I argued. And then he hit my head against the wall with a lot of force. I groaned in pain when my head hit the wall. 

Ash took a step forward, but got stopped by 2 guys pointing a gun at him. Meanwhile Fez yelled “Ay man, don’t fucking touch her” he raised his voice which was uncommon. 

I felt some liquid running down my neck, which was probably my blood, I think. Then the guy demanded us to undress and nobody reacted except for my dumb as twin. “I wasn’t talking about you idiot” the bald guy stated. “Put the children somewhere else” he told the other guy. And then me and Ash got dragged somewhere.

We got pushed into some small place, I’m not sure what it could’ve been but it was very small like we could barley move. I winced when my head hit the wall. “Shit, that doesn’t look very good bro” Ash started, “let me look at it” he finished in a not forcing way, more concerned way. “Nahhh it’s all good” I reassured him. 

“Bro, you got blood dripping on your clothes and shit” he argued back. I mean he was right but still. I could feel myself getting sleepy, like my eyes lids felt heavy. “Hey, you can’t fall asleep, that shit would be bad as fuck” Ash told me. I knew he was right but I was really struggling to keep my eyes open. 

Then suddenly the same guy who locked us in, whatever the fuck it was opened the door. 

We got dragged back into the place where we were before we got locked in that small space. Fez looked at me very concerned and I mouthed 'I’m fine’ to reassure him, I could see that he didn’t believe me but whatever. 

When we finally got back in the car, Ash told Fez to take me to the hospital. His voice sounded like it was very far away and I couldn’t really see shit. I heard Fez tell Rue to try to keep me awake, but she didn’t really do anything. She wanted to go to the new year’s party, that’s where we were supposed to be goin’. Fez dropped Rue off at the party, and then sped up and drove fast in the direction of the hospital. 

Ash hopped back and sat in the seat where Rue was sitting moments ago. He tried to talk to me, probably in a way to keep me conscious. But I couldn’t even make out the words that he was sayin’ anymore. And then everything went dark.

I felt my eyes opening to see very bright lights, which made my head hurt, I groaned in pain. Then I heard a familiar voice. “Y/n” I heard my older brother, Fezco exclaim.  “You’re finally awake, you had me all worried and shit” he continued in his usual calm tone. 

“Where’s Ash?” I asked Fez. “I’m here” I heard my twin, Ash answer. So he was also in the room, which I’m guessing was a hospital room. “Can someone turn those damn lights off, they’re fuckin’ killin’ me” I complained, as I rubbed my head. “I don’t know if we can do that shit Y/n, I can ask someone tho” I heard Fez answer. And then I heard the door open.

“The doctor said you had a concussion” Ashtray explained to me. “Damn, that explains why my head hurts so much” I realised. 

After a little bit of comfortable silence, I heard the door open and footsteps. Then I saw it getting darker in the room, and that shit helped to make my head hurt slightly less. I opened my eyes more and saw both my brothers and a nurse in the hospital room. 

“Hello sweetie, you’re allowed to go home when you feel ready to, you have a quite bad concussion” the nurse, I didn’t know the name for told me. “Okay, thank you” I answered, “You’re welcome” she said in a nice tone, and then she left the room.  “You ready to go?” Ash asked me. “I mean, yeah sure” I answered him. Fez then picked me up and helped me get dressed. And after getting dressed he carried me to our car, as Ash followed.

He put me in the backseat, and Ash went to sit beside me, it was very unusual for him to sit in the back of the car. Then Fez hopped in the driver seat. Ash told me to lay my head in his lap, to keep it from moving, and hurting more during the ride home. I looked up and smiled at him, and he smiled back at me. “Y/n, please don’t call some drug dealer, 'bald bitch’ again” Ash complained. “I can’t promise that, bro”

A/n: well that’s that oneshot please leave requests of what u want to see, or mby like a part 2 of this one idek just anything 😭 this is also from our Wattpad that u can find here

 https://www.wattpad.com/user/were_gay_writters?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_profile&utm_campaign=invitefriends&wp_page=home&wp_uname=were_gay_writters&wp_originator=6fz0mWJ4B30U9BUCDZciesokj5RdovOoyjjMTH2jCo2KzaGhCAsZ7wpEeg0WwFlPjHBKHUAWfWBpcQLRaLhdomVAiIAAPqWH2f3w0NqWPzaBhoGsM4E7KN7dcWJ10Wlq

[kaleidoscopic-quiddity]

ok wait now i wanna talk abt weird/interesting things from my experience getting top surgery. ive seen other ppl talk abt some of these things b4 but not all of em

i thought my surgeon was gonna do the incision, like, underneath the curve of my tiddies?? he ended up kinda slicing thru the middle of them, so my scars run over the middle of my pecs, not underneath them

speaking of; ig my pecs are more developed than i thought since my chest isnt like perfectly flat but rather both my pecs have a layer of fat/flesh on them and i can feel the muscle underneath

also the dip/space inbetween from when i had tiddies looks p much exactly the same, my surgeon said sometimes it ends up buldging out and a revision is needed but thankfully that didnt happen to me

the discharge nurse let me know afterwards that my tits were 11 kilograms (right 6kg and left 5kg) like no fucking wonder i have back pain at the tender age of 19

so yknow how pain raises ur body temp and makes u sweat?? immediately upon waking up i was so warm and damp i told a nurse id soiled myself and needed a change of underwear, i hadnt! i was just really fucking sweaty lol

i also threw up twice after waking up (fortunately into containers both times), turns out anesthetic doesnt agree w/ me, also it was like a dark bottle green?? since id been fasting from the night b4 ig i was bringing up nothing but bile

pre-surgery they cldnt get the IV in my left hand and had to switch to my right and ig that made my heart rate pick up bc one of the asistants immediately came by my head and talked to me to calm me down, he was rlly nice :)

im p sure i conked out within seconds of them getting the IV in and starting up the anesthetic too, none of that 'count back from 10' shit, i took like 2 and a half deep breathes and was OUT

from a combination of the iodine and natural swelling/bruising my chest looked REALLY yellow for like 3 weeks after surgery

i got sent home the same day i got my surgery, they keep some ppl over night if theres complications but apparantly i was all good to go after resting in the post-op ward for few hours

speaking of, i woke up, puked, got some water, dicked around on tumblr, called my mum, took an 'i lived bitch' selfie, slept for a few hours, woke up, went on tumblr again, got dressed w/ some help from a nurse, pissed (by myself, woo!), and then got discharged

my scars are uneven! my left incision goes further under my armpit than my right one, and my scars vary in thickness, it actually looks kinda like ive got two scars on my left side bc it thins out so much in the middle for a few milimeters

my nipples are also a lil uneven and they ended up puckering up as they healed so i kinda looks like ive always got stiff nips oops, also theyre more brown than pink

apparantly that might be bc they took the nipple graft from my areaola bc they werent able to graft the actual nipple, idk ¯_(ツ)_/¯, obvi it doesnt look perfectly like a cis guy's nipples but i knew the chances of achieving that were relatively small + p dependent on how i healed so like im not too bothered by it

my surgeon used dissolvable stitches and one of em ended up poking out thru my scar a lil b4 it disolved, which was weird

showering w/ a plastic sandwich bag duct taped to ur chest so u dont get ur scars and nips wet is An Experience TM i'll tell u that

my scars stretched!! it happens!! esp if u raise ur arms, which u will inevitably have to do eventually, idk if they'll ever fade on their own or if i'll need scar revision treatment in the future but fortunately they didnt go keloid

my surgeon used what he called crosshatched stitching rather than drains so that saved me a lot of discomfort, i DID get a slight build up of like, i think around 40ish mls of fluid in my left side a few weeks after surgery, but my surgeon dealt w/ it by p much just poking it w/ a syringe and draining it out lol

which i didnt even feel him do at the time bc of the nerve damage lmao, which was weird asf since i could very much SEE him sticking the needle in but couldnt feel it at all

i regained my mobility like, straight away?? my surgeon said bc im young + relatively healthy it was likely that id bounce back from surgery quick but like,, i had none of the exhaustion, pain, or immobility ive seen ppl describe??

i couldnt lift my arms very high for a while obvi but like i was fine dressing myself and even washing my own hair if i just leaned over

having to sleep upright for a few weeks after surgery was v annoying since i usually rotate like a shawarma trying to find a comfy sleeping position

the post-op chest binder was sensory hell bc it was scratchy and it kept slipping down my back since it had no shoulder straps, also i accidentally bruised my ribs a lil bit by wearing it too tight oops, the fuckin relief i felt when they told me i cld stop wearing it

the post-op 'please wear these at all times so u dont get thrombosis' socks were p comfy tho, idk why they didnt cover my toes tho

regaining the sensation around ur scars is weird! my right side's been completely fine but ig bc my left scar is thicker + longer ive been getting some pain n tightness, its not a persistent issue or anything but its just kind weird bc ive never had any surgeries or major injuries to heal from before this one

u will have to get ur boobs felt up and examined probaby multiple times b4 surgery, this will feel very different from touching ur own boobs and, in my case, was ticklish??

my posture has improved somewhat since getting top surgey, what not having 11kg of weight hanging off ur chest and compressing it in towards ur ribs/spine for roughly 9 hours a day will do to a mf ig

[boxwinebaddie]

hi uncle nina!! i hope youre doing okay! i would love a life update. i was also wondering who you think initiates more, jerseykyle or ravenstan? and thats for everything. like kisses, cuddles, and sbst 🤭

eeeee! allo, moya nonneshka! c': <3 xxxx

but before i tornado-type myself into a tizzy and lose my train of thot: thank you so SO much for checking on me, babycakes! :) MWAH!!!

like ( i'm soz ), but the fact that, oof...has it been Several Weeks Now? ( yikes! execute-ive dysfuncle nina strikes again! :/ ) where day in and day out, the only thing i've been servin y'all up is...a big, heapin bowl of: 'go on girl! Give Us NOTHING!,' -- and you were Still willing to take time out of your busy irlife to worry about mine?! tldr; Angel Behavior! heaven wants you back btw, but that's too bad; i'm keeping you. <3

also tysm for the rest of your v precious message as well, lovie~ your... press(h)age? oop...that is,, horrifYINg? ok, what about: thank for your...messcious? ur preshmesh! ya mesh, presh! ...your blessage? you know like *marj vc* your...blessed mess? ( can we tell that i spend too much gd time assisting k-garten and trying to say things like:

'wooooah there, girlpool! no need to get atatudie w/ me, jude-ring! i mean, gee, if i didn't know any better...i'd say it sounds like someone caught...A BAAAD Vibe! uh oh! cowabummer, dude! but thats ok! just be sure to grab a tissue and blow ur nose bc i didnt achoochooocaChoose the rules; i just enforce 'em, booboo kitty!' <3

kssds like...can you tell my skull tell is gettin so soft that you'll prolly be able to stick a straw thru it soon? ( can't lie tho, bbkit is my fav like *me but over it* alr! no cryin in baseball, booboo kitty! Game Time! )

but anyways! onto my life update ( ft. how i've doing for the past few weeks ) which, when i tell y'all i have been waiting for a slow-ment to come along so i can just...catch my breath and catch up, but its been

...A MESS.

sigh.

( alright, fair warning, i HAVE TO ANSWER YOU CANON HC QUES IN ANOTHER ASK BUT I KNOW THE ANSWER!!!! so i will get it done asap, my friend, but i have to seperate them...so this is just nina talks abt skool and how she's been doin...ravesey can go in diff ask. )

but anyways, in essence; i'm busy pretty much every day from 5am in the morning when i am up until probably 4-5pm everyday depending on what prep i have to work out with my lead teacher ( who is a very sweet mid forties early fifty y/old lady who always makes sure i eat breakfast ), as well as getting to and from my job site particularly towards the end of the day...which is not easy when ur a lame, boof, no driving ass bitch like me.

( which, i know talk a lot of shit on myself about it...but oddly enough; i am proud of myself for knowing my limits, valuing my comfort and being the ceo of the bus and slaying on public transport. xx )

but all this to say, i love my job! my lead teacher ( aka educ major slang for the teacher who's class you assist in ) is literally such a nice lady and she has been teaching me so much! i was having a little difficulty getting in the groove because the summer camp kinders aka the children actually taking kindergarten in the fall are pre-kinder basically so they're like...t-k or preschool, almost? which....ooooough.

( i must confess ) i have a age/limit with teaching.

and it's having to do bathroom/mommy anything.

like i’m…ur aunt/unc, your older sister, mom's sbf, but i am noooooot your mom, lol! i am not super maternal. like there was a little girl who on week one was askin for mommy ( which was already driving me NUTS ) but on week three was still doing it and crying i was like...

*me on the playground vc* hEY BATTA BATTA SWING BATTA!!! YOU WANNA GO HOME BB? ME TOO GIRL! YKNOW WHAT? IF U HIT A HOME RUN RN AND YOU CAN GO HOME OTHERWISE! nO CRYIN IN BASEBALL BOOBOO!KITTYGIRL!! STAND UP SOLDIER!!

...but yeah, idk. kindergarten/pre-k has been fun, but i'm more of an older sister-adjacent type teacher who likes to wear crazy outfits, draw you pictures even if i pop a blood vessel in my eye drawing all night bc i think its nice when the kids get excited haha, if you talk while i'm talking, i really will pretend to get my stuff and leave like 'i'm sorry, i thought you were gonna teach the class!', wear all the stickers on my face...all of them especially the really big ones,

will tell u the picture u drew for me is so much better than the baloney pizza whatev that one blue ninja turtle painted, idk, and fall to my knees like ( bonus points if i have no idea what it is ), but if you give me attitude later about putting the toys away and taking your letters out, ill pretend to EAT the sticker i was gonna put on ur work.

( uncle nina stop being a CLOWN, i cannot stop, like omfg so the other day...a TINY five old girl's jacket was brought in for this girl in my class....and tell me why i said! Oh Sorry! That's Mine! ;) AND PRETENDED TO PUT IT ON AND MODEL IT???? HEEELP. my KIDS were dYING!!! my lead teacher was lafffffin, skds. that jacketless little girl was like >:( miss nina thats My Jacket! and i was like, you know what, baby! you are so right...Mine Is Smaller. <3 KLHSLKHKLDSD )

i...did not always use to be like this. i used to be a mousy, nervous gal, who let the sweet, lovely, very loud children walk all over me...BUT! i've been around the block! aka! i've have a block thrown at my head! AND A STAPLER!!!!!! ( that was my favorite kid btw, thx, stink! )

but yeah, a soft-spoken queen in my class asked me if you just 'stop feeling anxious when you're an adult' and i was like N! O! baby! it doesn't get easier when your an adult, but in order to teach you guys things, i have to be brave enough to talk to you and try my hardest! i still get super nervous talking to new people, i get nervous when i think i put my sock on wrong...but that doesn't mean, we should give up! i think you should go right up to a new friend and tell them hi, my name is Blank and my sock feels funny. do u wanna look at it. BOOM.

but also just because...ah, jeez. very cute, the children are...but the nina i was two years ago would be picking kids markers off the floor, packing my kids backups up for them, carrying their things...no, girl. they know better than that. like i specifically have a little girl, who istg, is very stan coded because she wants to do the right thing, but she's a really bad listener, i have to tell her stuff like 749374093 times,

wants me to help her with everything because she's nervous she's gonna mess up ( which, baby i love u but i can't print every letter for you ) and wears impractical things to school, ( which i feel like stan would do...like take 749374930 light up toys and weird pens ) so you know i gotta give her the little 'girl, you can do; i believe in you' and then come back when she's done and go oKAAaY mAdaME??! MISS INDEPENDENT OVER HERE GETS TWO STICKERS FROM ME!!!!!

and conversely, we got kyle coded kids, like, i had a little girl ( my class has had a lotta girls rotate into it idk ) who was smarter than god, but my gooooodness, THAT LITTLE GIRL TRIED IT EVERYDAY! ( she’s a ken n cart too ) i popped my eye blood vessel for that lil lady! bc she RUSHED ME! but no, she was a smart cookie, so she knew that so she used to give to try and cut deals with me, or put stuff on other kids tables or whiiiine and baby, i might have been born at night but...

NOT YESTERDAY NIGHT!

she is going to dismantle whatever kindergarten class she gets put into...best of luck. she is probably going to be our president someday. her vocabulary was bigger than mine. sending light out to that girl.

but okay, i have to end this soon but...i am doing a lot! we have a different theme in my class every week: last week was dinosaurs! we did safari animals, bugs, deep sea creatures, next week....*sigh*

Is Sports. ( y....ay! )

so if i am not around...I AM PROBABLY TIRED! like i didn't want to get into it too much bc it's a lot but the week that i lead teach, like...i did not sleep for two days...i was very sick, it was very, very bad. which is not to say that's gonna happen again but...it's like, i want to post and i want to be present, but when i throw all my energy out there to the little people, i come home spent most of the time...so it's hard to get my fingers to crawl across the computer to do an ask meme or be present when i should rly cook dinner or do some dishes, yknow?

all this to SAY...i am here, but i am...There. i also took such a long break from writing, i am a little scared that i don't know...how to anymore? aaaaa??? but i think i should probably sit down and write ONE THING ONLY ( so if u have one thing u really wanna see hmu ),

i'll probably pop in to do updates every so often, maybe an hc ask a bigger ask if i finish it, but i am busy again starting monday. i will try to keep giving u an rm fun fact if i can remember, but please know, i would love to be here and i wish i could write more...but it's a lot all at once...also? i really did enjoy my break. <3 always take breaks. if i am not around, i promise i am okay! i am probably just being teacher nina, trying to better my life or i am a little tired and need a second.

either way don't be a stranger, and send me stuff any time! i am going to try and go back to answering stuff that's in there again.

-uncle teacher nina, ceo of boo boo kitty...

...girls, boys and children....

Everywhere.

p.s. i hope this wasn't too much info, haha! i hope it was fun its nice to be able to tell you guys about parts of my life! if you ever want pictures or have questions, as long as they aren't too invasive, specifically bc of my student's safety, i will answer em! <3

[loafbud]

heyyy!! im a first year college student, tho im going in person not online, but i highly suggest finding somewhere you dont regularly hang out at inside your house/somewhere outside your house that you work at so you can focus :3

take classes u r interested in !! thats what makes college so much better than HS bc u can learn abt stuff u actually enjoy .

if possible , try to get to know some1 else in ur class and chat with em !! ik social anxiety is a bitch but it makes the college experience so much nicer .

idk how much of this u have or havent heard, but i wanted to wish you good luck as a fellow college student!!!! you got this !!!!! college can be really fun, i prommy 💪💪💪

yooo hey!! thank you for the suggestions and the wishes also!! 😭😭 i will keep those in mind when my college era starts (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

while i learn/focus better when im remote/by myself, i still do at least wanna have some amount of on-campus life haha

a family member of mine actually works at the bookstore at the college im applying for- they said they'll let me know when the school's hiring, so that way i actually get to be on campus for something it'll be nice practice to work on my social skills LOL

[wooahaes]

ok lets talk wips!!!

from the ask that i answered a couple days ago:

soulmate aus that i was almost done with [completed!!!! a win for me!!!!]

like a box of chocolates [both svt and skz] - working title, not set in stone. similar to the flower fics i wrote for svt + trsr back in the day where they all have some kind of trope associated with each kind of chocolate.

bodyswap aus for skz + svt. [woozi for svt, lee know for skz]. - admittedly my plans are on pause because i never came up with group names for the fake idol groups i made up for each. basically soulmate au where they end up swapping bodies until they fall in love with the added complicated layer of both being in a small idol group.

i won't run away [lee know] - fem!reader follow-up to i can't run away [vernon fic] where reader moves on.

keep it simple, stupid! [paboracha] - paboracha are all mutually pining with their respective readers and the rest of skz makes a bet on who will realize its mutual the soonest and confess (or get confessed to). minho's in love with his roommate, hyunjin's in love with his best friend, jisung is in love with his study partner for class.

childhood friends -> lovers [seungmin] - a much more recent idea for seungmin in the same vein as when i grow up where it's snapshots of the two growing up together and falling in love. very much 'one falls first, the other falls harder.'

shadow [UtS poly ending] - the poly au that has some more story to it, imo? more emotional topics and some angst. everyone is in love with everyone.

vague summer svt fic? [full group] - not to be released rn if i go for it, but i'm open to tossing ideas around for some summer-themed fics. might include skz (and if anyone's interested/i feel up to writing them, trsr) as well? it'd most likely be a july release just to give myself time to write all the fics and i'd probably give myself some sort of hard limit on how many words they can be.

ok these next few are chubby!fem!reader so if i do write them, i think they'll most likely get posted alongside something else since ik its not a widespread audience!!

untitled chubby!fem!reader fic [felix] - originally a smau i'll have to reconfigure in the same way as lhc, basically lhc but for felix. set after the best friends -> lovers jisung fic that i wanna rewrite! felix deals with the aftermath of a broken heart and ends up befriending reader who he falls for quickly bc she's cute n sunshine-y. very much lonely hearts club but i'll be removing the social media aspect from it.

chubby!fem!reader fake dating au [seokmin] - college au. reader has never dated before and asks seokmin if he'll go on a date or two with her just to help her get over the scary 'first time going on a date' feelings. he turns her down because fucking up is kind of part of the experience, but ends up agreeing to it after he lies and says he's dating reader to get someone who won't take no for an answer off his back. they agree to fake date until after reader's cousin's wedding... and u kno the drill w fake dating!! these bitches start falling for each other!!!

chubby!fem!reader sculptor/muse [woozi] - jihoon is a grad school art student who needs to diversify his portfolio a Lot (man just keeps sculpting his best friend bc he offered to model for him). soonyoung goes 'i know someone' and gets reader in to be jihoon's new model and oops they start catching feelings for each other over time. also has mentions of past mingyu/reader.

i am like 90% sure theres more because i KNOW i had fics planned around on//ew's (censored to keep out of search results, hopefully) album circle (some of which have initial drafts that i wanna rewrite) and an au built veeeeery loosely around the case 143 mv but i wanna workshop both of those more before i mention em any further.

[stufflikethathere]

I agree, I think being kind is a beautiful quality! I think that’s why the meme is like that - it’s such a precious action that when someone treats you bad or something, you feel like they didn’t deserve that action. So then it the thing of “does everyone deserve kindness even if it resulted in them being mean to me which makes me wish i was mean to them instead of being friendly/kind?” . For me, I think ever1 deserves kindness & maybe they needed me being kindness at the time but tbh many times I’m mad at myself for being nice when they resulted to be mean to me or it makes me wish I was a bitch to em.. it’s like they were trying to make U feel like a doormat :0 but I really like your perspective on it which is why I’m compelled to make this ask; what are you thoughts on it like can you elaborate more? (This is about your text post of the meme of being too nice & that you don’t like it)

i see i guess i strive to just be nice and understanding always despite the reaction or outcome. it makes me think about how in therapy recently i was talking about how sometimes when i react defensively i will rage and speak in ways i know will hurt others and afterwards feel so hurt that i am just doing to others what was done to me because i am just afraid to express myself in a way that will leave me vulnerable. like i know deep down that is not truly who "i" am because really in me i feel a deep need to love others despite it all. i am not a doormat either. we are all just hurt children trying our best we just want to be seen and loved.

[mangoposts]

ok so i KNOW that boys are not everything in live but rn i need some psychological guidance here yall

So basically, i always daydream about love like the concept of love is literally my roman empire. I make up all of those scenarios about everyday life events with a man i imagine and i read a loooot of books and watch rom coms all the time, i love this. And i need a sweetheart in my life. I need a nice guy because i had a bf who treated me like shit and that’s not happening again

But when i have a reaaaaaaally nice guy, i get bored and i simply don’t talk to him again, because the spark and electricity my ex gave me back then isn’t there and i miss it

Like yall know that scene from euphoria where maddy looks at kat and ethan and tell jules that she’ll never find that kind of love because there is no darkness???? This is EXACTLY my point

But that scares the living shit out of me because i know that real relationships aren’t like this. I know that my future husband won’t argue with me about anything and call me a bitch when we disagree because those are immature relationships. So then i start to think that I’ll simply never be in a relationship again and i’ll end up alone and that’s a terrifying thought

So now im spiralling over the fact that i don’t know how to accept a healthy relationship in my life. I need yall help please help a bitch out :(

Anon, i would love to help you out. But unfortunately i can’t because

I AM THE EXACT SAME FUCKING WAY

It’s always been hard for me to like guys who like me because they’re always too ….Nice. And too giving and too up my ass or something … In every relationship every guy treated me great and then i lost feelings and left em🤷🏻‍♀️ But the one guy im still hung up on is the one who left me and i argued with and we weren’t even DATING. We want shit we can’t or shouldn’t have and for what reason i don’t know.

All i know is what helped me is focusing on myself, i know it’s kinda hard but ive accepted that im not going to find someone i genuinely like so i just began liking myself and being alone/with friends instead. And it’s helped the need for romance like a lot. I feel like the best love comes when you aren’t searching for it so ion know 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I don’t have the best advice bc im in the same boat 😭But i hope we figure it out someday and im here for u