#myresearch
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Conflicted about cost-benefit analysis of international conferences
Last week I wrote about my stimulating experience of attending a conference in Orlando, Florida and presenting our recent research to the experimental mechanics community for the first time in four years. Whilst there, I was conscious of the ecological footprint of my trip – the venue was making extensive use of single use plastics on a scale that surprised me. However, my trans-Atlantic flight…
View On WordPress
#aerospace#carbon emissions#carbon footprint#Engineering#MyResearch#Orlando#research#sustainability#zero carbon
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i'm about to riot, proquest ERASED all of the notes i was keeping on the zillions of articles saved to MyResearch so i have no idea where to find things anymore I CAN't WORK IN THESE CONDITIONS!!
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
#me#mine#hemp#legalcannabis#cannabis#legalhemp#research#cbd#firefly#insect#myresearch#organic#girlswhogrow
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Best wireless in-ear headphones 2019 – Reviews & Buyer’s Guide
Best wireless in-ear headphones 2019 – Buyer’s Guide
Welcome to the My Researches round-up of the best wireless in-ear headphones or earbuds that you can buy in 2019 (Under$50). Earphones, In-ear headphones, Earbuds whatever you call them, these are canal-adjacent headphones everywhere.
Did you ever feel problem and annoyed with the sound of your headphones during running or gym? or Looking for new pair of in-ear headphones for your smart device or tablets? or Are you searching for (Best wireless in-ear headphones 2019) reviews?
THEN!!!!
this post Best wireless in-ear headphones 2019 is for you.
In my Opinion, the wireless headphones are better than wired headphones because they give you the freedom to move anywhere you want, best quality related to the audio and Bluetooth also.
You will always search and look for the top and Best wireless in-ear headphones 2019 that can make and feel you easy during your running and gym. So now you don’t need to search for the best wireless headphone on the internet. We are giving you complete extensive research and product details for your satisfaction and of course to save your gym time.
Searching for the desired product is very chaotic thing especially when you are going for running or gym and your headphones annoying or creating a problem for you and spoils the thrill of the workout.
We All Know!!!!!!!
However, when you are buying wireless earbuds for the gym , you need to keep some things in mind. Following are the new factors from which you can easily find and identify your desired Best wireless in-ear headphones 2019.
Clear sound
Durability
Microphone
Comfortably
Waterproof
Noise Cancellation
Long Range Bluetooth
Battery life
And much more
Best wireless running earbuds 2019.
The wireless headphones are better than wired headphones because they give you the freedom to move anywhere you want, the best quality related to the audio and Bluetooth also. In this article, you find the complete review of Best wireless in-ear headphones 2019, for your need. You will find your desired product after broad research and personal experience with their specific features, with their respective pros and cons and prices.
for complete list click on given link https://myresearches.com/best-wireless-in-ear-headphones-2019/
Best wireless in-ear headphones 2019 – Buyer’s Guide
Our phones are not just phones anymore, they are media consumption devices too and this makes the selection of earphones an important decision to maintain the best possible experience when streaming a show on YouTube, TV or listening to a podcast or an album on google play music.
The wireless in-ear headphones 2019 are the hottest new headphone trend in market. “The sound Quality is not good” yes, the sound quality is not as good as the wired headphones but to say “wireless earphones are not any good” is severely wrong. They provide you an incredible comfort & convenience due to there completely wireless operation. Just place earbuds in in ear and connect to your available devices through Bluetooth technology.
A lot of people question the legibility of wireless earbuds or earphones and have gone to the point of bashing them by stating wireless earbuds don’t offer any benefits.
There are some benefits for wireless in-ear headphones 2019 which helps you in understanding that wireless earphones are not terrible.
So, Lets go……
Benefits of wireless in-ear headphones 2019
Increased Portability
These wireless earphones are easy to carry with you any where in your pocket. The main thing which creates the difference between wireless and wired headphones is “Wireless earbuds don’t have enough or any cables”.
Having a small wire that connects earbuds. There is no tangling between wire and ease of access increase by many folds. You can easily carry a pair of earbuds with you in your pocket.
SweatProof Design
People go for wireless earphones because they are better and easier to manage while working out. For instance, wireless earphones come with a sweatproof design. Some manufacturers have gone to the point of making their wireless earphones completely waterproof as well with the iptX technology the product is protected from sweat, light rain, water that would cause during running, hiking, in gym and workout.
Active Noise Cancellation
Active noise cancellation utilizes special circuitry to assure outside noise is blocked, it means you cannot hear anything rather than music and calls.
1 note
·
View note
Quote
Every time I hear of a St. Louisan dying of cancer, I always wonder the places they've lived and worked. Then I look for evidence of possible exposure to contamination. And, 95% of the time there's a connection to North St. Louis County. It never fails. #WhereWeLive #MyResearch
Maria Chappelle N 16-yr veteran in the MO Legislature. 20-yrs in state government. Volunteer. Pet mom. Activist & writer defining environmental racism in STL pre/post #Ferguson.
https://twitter.com/MariaChappelleN/status/1314853030496481282
#Maria Chappelle N#stlouis#cancer#environment#contamination#nuclear#westlake#bridgeton landfill#WhereWeLive#MyResearch
0 notes
Text
my toxic trait is i love watching sorority rush vlogs on youtube like theyre controlled science experiments
#personal#sororities are so fascinating to me (/neg)#when i make that sorority doppelganger black swan american psycho story...then myresearch will pay off
35 notes
·
View notes
Photo
So much love, all because of spreading happiness through Food Thank you so much Hyderabad Sharing few pictures for the esteemed guests you have tasted the food so far #rajoupacharam #kitchensofindia #ancientfoodmypride #myresearch #kingsfeast #whatthekingsate (at Dakshin) https://www.instagram.com/p/B1p-r9wnF9g/?igshid=uhgrr3cc5e2f
0 notes
Photo
Meditation is a must when you’re cultivating your authentic self! #myresearch #myblog #meditation #myroots #mysouthernswag #mylife https://www.instagram.com/p/BwIBBqLAkAIeZxEQURy1g2CM6T51wzn3MvwXgk0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=vuhh2bzcihby
0 notes
Text
Reliable predictions of non-Newtonian flows of sludge
Regular readers of this blog will be aware that I have been working for many years on validation processes for computational models of structures employed in a wide range of sectors, including aerospace engineering [see ‘The blind leading the blind’ on May 27th, 2020] and nuclear energy [see ‘Million to one’ on November 21st, 2018]. Validation is determining the extent to which predictions from…
View On WordPress
#CDT#credibility#Engineering#fluid flow#fluid mechanics#fluids#mechanics#model validation#MyResearch#nuclear energy#PhD#PhD opportunity#PhD vacancy#research#simulation#sludge#validation
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's Friday 12/2/22. My deadline for my first draft of a field review is due next Wednesday, December 7. I have nowhere I have to be, or anything else I have to do, between now and this deadline. Here is the plan:
Today: It is about noon. I've showered, eaten breakfast, and am drinking my coffee. I am itching to rearrange my room and my books and I think I will not be able to focus until I do this. 1/ Take all books off shelf 2/ move shelves, clean 3/ arrange books, use as a way to plan work 4/ immerse in scrivener, actually, integrate writing from media course and susan's seminar. After today I have five full days, and this document needs to be 20-25 pages. After integrating old material and writing new annotations I should have about eight pages.
It's hard to write a plan for the rest of the time I have left. After today I have five full days of work remaining. I think I can push. There are like 80 sources in this, I still have not ever really done a good chunk at once. Need a breakthrough.
0 notes
Text
Food for Vision (2) Peanuts
Made some #delicious#Indonesian peanut sauce to dress my Gado Gado #Salad. I'm a big fan of Indonesian food but couldn't find a good #restaurant in #Toronto so decided to learn #cooking at home. This sauce is so #yummy if you add it to salad or just on a plan steamed rice. Another #healthy note about #peanut is that it is good for #vision (yes no one told us before right!) It is a good source of #vitamin E which is important in protecting the retina from oxidative #stress and free radicals. vitamin E deficiency causes retinal degenerative diseases in animal models and researchers found that daily dietary exposure to vitamins A, C, and E plays an important role in neutralizing free radicals and maintaining homeostasis in the retina. stress is thought to be involved in the pathogenesis of age-related diseases, such as atherosclerosis and retinal degeneration. In addition to peanut sunflower seeds and almonds are considered as an excellent sources of vitamin E. Other vitamin E-rich foods include hazelnuts, spinach, avocados, olive oil and whole grains. The daily RDA for vitamin E is 15 mg (22.5 IU) for teens and adults.
1 note
·
View note
Text
me: i will get around the COMPLETE INABILITY for proquest to delete any folders by simply renaming and repurposing one of the folders i can't delete for some stupid reason
proquest / myresearch:
i am finally finally moving on from the depressing youth research and moving onto.... nightclub research. yaaaaaaaaaaay?
#I AM TEARING OUT MY HAIR I CANNOT WORK IN THESE CONDITIONS#ZOTERO SAVE ME SAVE ME ZOTERO#hapo's workventures#update this is absolutely specifically a problem with nested folders#so dont ever try to be organized
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
sighhh
#exhausted#got home from school and went to bed for 5 hrs lmao love that#my mom thinks im getting my period soon so shes not saying anything#she asked my if i was ok and i decided tl tell her that i havent been feeling well today#.......... and she just didnt get it#it really sucked and made me sad#anyway i did a math test rn which was hard and frustrating#i have a business presentation on friday and i still need tk start myresearch#i just want to go to bed again#r
1 note
·
View note
Text
Sooooo, got smacked upside the head by a writing prompts. Wrote a essay covering the main points I want covered. Now all I need to to write the damn filler and plot and the rest of the shit.
I am an artist. I don’t write anything other than sad poetry and that one abandoned fanfic that no longer exists.
What the fuck.
#writing prompt#what the fuuuuck#what the fUCK#goddammit#what a fucking story.#now my brain is insisting I start myresearch#fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkk#why do I do this to myself#i have too much other things to be doing#prompts#story time!!!!#kill me now put me out of my damn misery#crying#literally crying#i literally do this all the time#strory proplts.#fuck you muse#this isnt what I ment wjen I asked for some inspiration#AINT NOBADY GOT TIME FOR THIS#my writing#writing#🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼#prompt#inspiration#idea
1 note
·
View note
Text
And Then There Was...Wildstar
Since today is the anniversary of the shut down announcement, or at least I think it is, and cuz I’m a copycat and I’ve seen a few people’s introspective posts flying around my dash today, it’s time to add my experience to the pile.
Where do I even begin with Wildstar? It came around during an EXTREMELY volatile time in my life, aka the end of the teens and my early twenties. The real ‘formative years’ if you asked my opinion on it.
I had been an avid WoW fan since I could first play at the age of 13, which had to have been about 2007-2008 abouts. When 2013 or so rolled around, I had been told by friends that a new MMO was coming out, and that it was all space-western-y, my two greatest loves.
Naturally I waited, along with everyone else for a beta, and got in and instantly fell in love with what we’d come to know as Nexus. I was star-struck. The art, the music, the style, the humor, everything hit home with me like no other game had at that point, and I was ready to throw WoW to the wind to go full time and soak up as much of those space rays as I could. And it was even better because it was going to be with friends! I had already established I wanted to bring Rev over and start anew in the Dominion. I had so many new plotlines and ideas whirling around in my head faster than a tornado over a bee farm.
Unfortunately, during this time as well, I saw Wildstar as an escape.
I was being bullied away from WoW at the time by someone who wanted what I had. You think, “Who would do that?? What did they try to do, Dovah?” Many things really. At first they were small aggressions disguised as an interest in trying to befriend me, then that curtain dropped and the aggressions got bigger and bigger.
It was like watching something rot out from the inside. Was I absolutely jealous they were trying to steal a close-now-best friend from me?? Absolutely. I knew it was intentional. I could see it written on the walls. And while I was accustomed to this kind of shit occurring in real life and on the internet to some degree, it only really hurt because for a while, nobody believed me.
Rumors had been planted, people had been told lies and god knows what else, that I was the bad guy of this story. Accused of doing everything that was being done towards me at the same time. It was just another episode of ‘Who Started The Drama’ on Wyrmrest Accord, business as usual amiright?
And I won’t lie, I did try to retaliate several times to stop everything. I got desperate. Said things I meant, said things I didn’t mean, to the point where I couldn’t tell which was which anymore. Everything was wrapped in a huge burrito of panic and fear. And will I be ashamed of that, possibly for the rest of my life? Absolutely positively one hundred percent yes.
After a while, I didn’t fight back anymore. I didn’t make public call-outs, naming names. Sure, did I tell people about it if they asked? Of course, but in private only (because it turned out they too had suffered a similar situation like I was at the time.) Or, sometimes I told people unprompted in private because we happened to talk about our experiences being caught in drama, and I never hesitated to give my side of the story. The side that was RARELY ever heard, to my knowledge. I wanted as many people as possible to know what this person was like and what they were doing to me. For my own sanity, and for the sake of getting the truth out there in some form or another. It was relatively contained as far as I knew, so I rolled over onto my back, ready to accept my lot in life once again as someone’s punching bag because they were jealous of me and what I had and just would NOT go away no matter what happened. Naturally, I thought it really was all my fault that this was happening. We all jump to that conclusion at least once or ten times.
And then came Wildstar, and it had started to look very tempting.
I could start over. I could get away from it all. I could play with my friends ‘in secret’ and not have to worry about being slandered or god knew whatever ELSE had been done at that point on WoW, or wherever else.
Foolish was I to think that my troubles had ended there.
Many people from WoW came to play Wildstar, which was both a blessing and a curse. Moreso the latter in my case.
The person in question found out, began to main the same faction, and just put their hands on everything all over again. I felt as though I had hit a reset button, everything just started over once again. They told people about me, they got me blacklisted and blocked from one of the biggest RP guilds ever to hit the server at the time, and who knows where it branched out from there.
I went silent again. Kind of like a dog with its tail between its legs. The Dominion was no place for me, so, what was I to do?? I didn’t want to abandon this game and world I’d come to love so much in such a short amount of time.
I had never taken an interest in the Exiles. For some reason they hadn’t appealed to me at first. They were the overrated good guys. The underdogs that would always win. I wanted to play the ‘bad guys’ and do my whole spiel about making them more than JUST the bad guys.
But suddenly? As dramatic as it sounds, the Exiles, suddenly sounded very appropriate, in terms of matching up to how I felt.
Exiled. For stupid shit ‘crimes’ I never ‘committed.’
So, I rolled up my sleeves and rerolled Rev’s character, deciding to branch him out in a different direction entirely. I ended up with Roger, and was dumped out into the Gambler’s Ruin, the complete shamble-of-an-arkship. And after that? The frosty bitter cold of the Northern Wastes.
My friend had offered to make another character with me, so that we could play together without being bothered. I had a glimmer of hope. Everything wasn’t over and I wasn’t dead yet (but man did I feel it) and so I pressed onwards.
I saw Algoroc for the first time and all its rolling plains and roans and the mountains and the whole wide open range. It felt so much different than the stormy Levian Bay, or the dark and gloomy Ellevar. The music was lighter, more upbeat, more ‘western’, which is silly because I had stated earlier that that was what I was looking forward to the most. The WESTERN COWBOY YEEHAW aspect of it.
Things were brighter, no less colorful, happier, hopeful. There was SO much land to explore and so many things to do. I was ready. Ready to start all over one more time. So I did.
I made my way through the area, learning about the Exiles and their culture, and the Eldan and whatever sinister happenings they had going in beneath the surface.
Before I knew it, I had reached Thayd, and was absolutely blown away by the size of the city. I was used to large environments from WoW, no doubt. But Thayd felt so interactive for some reason or another. Maybe it was the art style or the NPCs inhabiting it (and the players of course). But it felt alive. There were so many nooks and crannys to get lost in, how will I ever see this whole entire city?? I wondered.
It was a broken mish-mash of all that the Exiles slapped haphazardly together. Different people that didn’t fit together, trying to make something out of lots of little pieces of seemingly nothing.
It was a whole symbolic thing for me essentially.
After that I felt like I was home, in yet another dramatic sense.
Thayd felt right, what with its trashy streets and mismatched themes. Illium and its golden and crimson towers had never struck me as somewhere I belonged.
From that point on, things blur. I explored Galeras after that, introduced to the dire situation that was the Dominion descending upon the Exiles, ready to blast them all to kingdom come to reclaim a planet they believed theirs. I felt the tension, in a good way. It was a great story waiting to unfold, I thought. And I get to see it all from the beginning and be a part of it. I was absolutely ecstatic.
And then, from there, I went to Whitevale. One of the most FRUSTRATING ZONES I will never forget. I don’t even remember why. Maybe it was the size. Over time, I grew to love it in its own weird way, only because I departed for the damn MOON (Farside) afterwards and realized I hated the lack of gravity.
But, despite all. I had so much fun.
I thought about Roger and how he’d come to the Exiles, because I still wanted him to have a connection to the Dominion somewhere. I wanted to try exploring new character tropes and such with him, I wanted to be bold and take chances with ideas and do things I’d rarely seen people do (in my case? Traumatic brain injuries, good going.) I did myresearch, I kept exploring the world, I put all the pieces together little by little and I crafted a story. A story that grew larger and larger and larger and branched out to other characters I created alongside just Roger.
Suddenly I had an entire ‘world’ on my hands. Maybe not one the size of all of Nexus in this instance, but it was ROGER’S world.
I had locations planned thanks to the housing system, I had different story lines going alongside the ‘main one’. Every so often they would mesh and meet up and affect one another, and the ‘world’ would continue to grow from there.
These characters, new as they were, suddenly had lives. They had history, they had jobs, they had all those little aspects of fictional characters that bring them to life. Personalities, likes and dislikes, feelings, all of it. I was no stranger to creating characters, of course they did! In fact, most of them were based off many existing characters I had already HAD, just Wildstar-ified.
Over time, they became their own separate entities, only because they had grown and branched out into different directions I had never dreamed they would.
I don’t remember how long I had been in this enormous creative process of planting my roots. Maybe a year or two? It didn’t really matter. I was having the absolute time of my life.
However, on the back burner I knew all those awful things were still being said about me out there. I continued to play the game and storycraft mostly by myself. I knew if I stayed away from the masses that were WSRP, then no one would ever have any ‘proof’. No one could twist anything I said, or twist interactions I had with people, and use it against me.
You can’t accuse someone of something or things when all they do is play by themselves in their own little box all day long, can you? That was my line of logic.
Naturally I still got blocked from people’s tumblrs and such, which I found out on complete accident when I would try to fav posts. I never showed up to events. I did my artwork and only did artwork of my or my friends characters. Everything was very controlled.
And then one fucking day in August, my name gets tagged in someone’s call out post. At first I fucking panic, because of course. What did I do NOW? I made EXTRA SURE to stay out of everyone’s way. Who could POSSIBLY HAVE A BEEF WITH ME-
I checked the post.
Turns out, I wasn’t the one being called out.
No.
It was that person who’d been HOUNDING me for several years at that point, who was finally being called out.
The original poster had mentioned my name because, according to their words, and I’ll never forget it, ‘they heard through the grapevine’ that all that nasty crap had happened to me. Turns out, I wasn’t the only one who had been treated this way. MANY other people had been. There had to have been a good two handfuls of them out there, maybe more, who had been harassed by this person and their crummy friends. I was named in the post, and all the abuse I had took was relayed to the entire damn community (however it was worded in a way that it had to have been from an outsider’s perspective who’d heard the rumors spread about me, and never spoke to me directly. Cuz I didn’t know ANY OF THESE people and some of the details were wrong...but I digress.)
My business was practically on the front page of the Wildstar and WoW RP community (A smaller portion of the latter.) People had known about what happened to some degree. They had been on the receiving end of these rumors, they heard all the bullshit, they looked me up, they saw I had no dirt to my name. Never did anything to anybody. Maybe some of the stories I had told got relayed to them via playing telephone with other people, I’ll have no real way of knowing for certain.
If people didn’t know me then, they sure knew me NOW, I thought.
It turned into a hot fucking mess after that. People came out with their stories, people got angry at the victims, or at the abuser. There was collateral damage from what I could see from my spot in the corner.
That bad person was supposedly reprimanded by their guild leader for the backlash they received, though I’ll never know how big it actually was. It was probably really small, realistically. But like I said, I don’t know.
It was only then that I was finally believed. Like, completely. There were always little shreds of doubt with people, but this? This blew it out of the water.
I wasn’t at fault. People saw it wasn’t my fault.
I felt…
Liberated?? Like the shackles of this depressive, anxious...whatever DISASTER state I was in, finally broke off. And so QUICKLY too. I didn’t really know what the hell to do. There was nothing I COULD do except move on and try to recover.
It was OVER. It was finally fucking over and I was at a loss, because I had grown used to living in a state of panic and sadness and anger and god knows what else.
So, slowly, I started to.
I came to the conclusion, now that it was over, or ‘over’, I wanted to make some new friends.
Roger and company had already been set up and I found very little wiggle room for collaboration with people I didn’t know. So? What better way to fix that than make a new character to use to reach out to new folk?
I grabbed one of my older characters I salvaged from a falling out I had had before this entire post began, fixed him up and threw him into Thayd face first.
And so was the infamous Captain Yaedra reborn. With an e added to his fake name because it was ‘Yadra’ before, yet for some reason both names are said exactly the same way.
I had no idea what to do with him. I hated elves. I hated long ears. They were boring. Everyone was making them and beautifying them and whatever else. I was salty. I wanted to create a raccoon more than I wanted an elf.
The zombie aesthetic definitely helped me some.
I played through all the Mordesh areas, trying to learn as much as I could about their history, about Grismara, about the Contagion.
A zombie story...it utterly fascinated me. And considering I had not changed Captain’s outfit design from his original self in the slightest? Once more, I rolled up my sleeves and began to craft a world. Another world.
Yaedra’s entire world. And by extension, my own version of a portion of Grismara.
His hometown, his career, his life, his family, every little bit. I brought it all to life once more, and soon found myself living in the ‘past’ as much as I was living in the ‘present’. As far as character timelines go.
During all this, I tried being nice to random people, or I saw art and commented on it, I tried to be more open with the community, I even joined another small guild and in the end I ended up making some really great friends who I still talk to today!
They loved what I had created. And I loved their creations in turn. We formed a tight knit group of ‘heroes’ if you would. Got into all kinds of IC shenanigans. It was fun, it was silly, it was dramatic. I didn’t feel any pressure to be anyone in particular. I felt like I could be myself, and so could Captain. We were where we belonged. And it was fantastic. And still is.
From there, I met some of their friends, and so on and so on, and I did end up gaining a small bit of presence in the community via commissions and doing my own artwork as well. Things were finally nice, and calm.
I felt like I had waded through a war of some kind, and finally, at long last, it was OVER. Peace had finally COME. I had gone through a lot of mental trauma, but as the months and several years went on, I slowly came around. I tried very hard to. My dragon scales grew thicker as time went on, and my flames certainly hotter.
And, after a while… I found myself playing Wildstar less and less. Not because I hated it, not at all. But because it no longer felt like a crutch to me. I no longer felt as though I needed it to stay afloat. I had grown and changed, for the better no doubt. I learned to stand my ground from all the knocks I had taken, I learned to start speaking up when things were being done to me that weren’t right, or nice, or whatever. Did I end some friendships that way? Sadly, yes.
But I was done. I wouldn’t be ANYONE’S punching bag anymore.
The Exiles toughened me up. I wasn’t about to take ANYONE’S crap and neither was Captain. Both of us, fists BARED.
My time on Nexus dwindled even more.
I went back to WoW out of habit, and spent more time there. Soon enough I was hardly logging onto Wildstar at all. Many people were bored of the game’s lack of ...everything. Content most certainly. You could only do the same things so many times. I wasn’t part of a huge RP guild that constantly had events going, though I was by the end (but even that was kind of flakey because people just weren’t as interested in the game as they had once been.)
I hadn’t thought much about my story lines or characters. They had, over time, fallen into situations and such that I had long resolved. My ‘characters’ were tired of adventure and drama, and I wanted to give them a chance to have their happily ever afters, via ‘soft-retiring’ them. I still wrote stuff and drew art on the side, just….less of it.
In the months before Wildstar, I rarely thought about Nexus at all.
Until the horn sounded with Wildstar’s imminent closing.
For months prior to that, I had been sitting and watching. I knew it had been on the way. NC SOFT being...NC SOFT of course (with Carbine’s mismanagement in general, though at the time I did not know about this,) made this more than obvious.
So it didn’t come as a surprise to me.
If anything, I felt a sort of subdued melancholy about it.
If I can compare it to anything, it was like watching a pet or something grow old. There was the initial excitement of a new friend, and the beginning years were amazing and fast and fun filled and emotional. And then over time, things grew comfortable. I didn’t need to give Nexus my full attention anymore. ‘We’ had this ‘understanding.’ I could always go back to Nexus whenever I wanted. I always had a place there waiting for me. Characters, fun, stories, etc.
And then I began to move on.
Wildstar for me was a lot of things. It was a period of mental destruction, it was a period of rebirth and growth for me as a person, it was a reminder of the roller coaster ride that was good and bad times all bundled into one. It was my ‘growing up’ period. It was the rocky road of a transitional phase from the end of my childhood, to the beginning of my adult years.
Yes I know this might sound silly, all over an MMO that barely lasted at all, and the last thing I wanna do is be silly, but it’s how I felt. I’m not going to try to disguise it as something else, because that was what it all was to me.
The months sped by and before I knew it, it was the last day the server was up. Wildstar would be closing that evening or afternoon, or whatever. I don’t recall the time.
I had sat there debating whether or not to attend that final count down.
A part of me wanted to. I wanted to be there, to send off this MMO that had meant so much to me!
But another part of it told me to not go.
In the end, I did not go.
Not because I would be crying, or throwing a fit or whatever.
The main reason I didn’t go, was because I wanted to remember Nexus the way it was. I didn’t want to see people bunched up in one area, being turned into all sorts of critters, I didn’t want the lag to destroy my computer, I didn’t want to see their storm of messages and how sad everyone was, I didn’t want to read the Caretaker’s countdown messages saying how he’d miss us, in his own special way.
To me, all that meant Wildstar was due to die at any moment. That Nexus would suddenly cease to be, that all these things everyone worked so hard on, would just be gone, in the blink of an eye.
I didn’t want that to be the last memory I had of that place.
And so, the shut down came. The night went on.
I woke up the next morning, and everything felt ok, for the most part. Yes I felt like I was missing a piece of myself, but it was a lot smaller than I can say for some people.
The hole I had in my heart had mostly patched itself up with nicer memories. With the possibilities that were yet unexplored.
As far as I WAS, and am, aware? Nexus isn’t dead. Not at all. It’s just sleeping, for right now. It’s taking a well needed rest. It’s not really gone.
All the stories, all the characters, they exist in our head spaces. They still go on. I still write for them occasionally.
If anything, I feel like they have even MORE to explore now.
These days, people are working or playing already on private servers, and while I entertain the idea of joining one or finding another group to play with… Well, that’s all it really ends up being. An idea.
I’m perfectly happy with what I got out of Wildstar, and what I got to take away from it and keep.
I grew as a person, albeit the hard way (but that’s just how it is sometimes.) My creativity grew, my ability to make better stories and characters grew alongside that. I made new friends that I still keep to this day. That bad person got their just desserts and my most-likely-over-exaggerated-because-I’m-sure-people-have-gone-through-worse-torment was finally put to rest. I had more confidence in myself, yada yada… You get the idea.
Everything had resolved, for the most part.
Everything was said and done, regarding that chapter of my life.
And what a ride it was.
BUT I have to say, if there’s one specific thing I favor, that I got from this entire putrid mess that I would do it all over again for??
I got Cap back.
So, thank you for returning my raccoon to me, Nexus. I’ll never forget it. One day when those private servers are finished and the game is mostly restored, I’ll definitely come back to play through it again, and most likely come up with even more new adventures for me to write and explore.
Until then, cupcakes! Dovah signing off on this...eight page story-rant!
#wildstar#i didnt mention EVERYTHING in here because it would be even longer#but for the most part this was my experience#and i wouldnt trade it for the world
19 notes
·
View notes