#my_name_is_iden

[mynameisiden]

[mynameisiden]

where i land is madness.

i am in a cavern. a cave. a cave of madness. pillars of living bone stretch to the ceiling. pathways lead out and in. up and down. there is no difference. no order. everything is screaming. bodies turn to bone turn to stone and all back again blending. all of it archways. columns. road and walls. all of it is twisting and straining. all of it is alive and screaming. all if it wants out. i want out.

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#queerartist #lgbtqartist #transgenderartist #darkissedstar #daytonartist #gothic #originalwork #ohioartist #poet #collageartist #photographer #yellowsprings #artist #transpoet #transgenderpoet #idencrockett #pencildrawing #dreamart #drugtrip #surrealfiction #originalart #skulls #skullart #darkart

[mynameisiden]

[mynameisiden]

sometimes it’s terrible. then…it get’s better. sometimes your sadness is a weight pressing down on you until you can no longer stand, until you can barely crawl, until you cry out that you dont have the strength to carry it forward any longer. so dont. set that weight down. it never served you and you are not meant to serve it. we dont need strength. we dont need to haul more weight around. we need freedom. we need the freedom to see that we have a choice. we can allow ourselves to be crushed or we can soar weightless and infinite the way we were meant to be. #itgetsbetter #lgbtqlivesmatter #queerlivesmatter #translivesmatter #my_name_is_iden #selfportrait https://www.instagram.com/p/CqGuBoXuQqB/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[mynameisiden]

that flag behind me used to fly above my firestation. i served that dept and the community for 16yrs. they retired that flag. it was weather beaten and torn. they folded it with full honors. that flag has never touched the ground. six months after i told them i was transgender i was escorted out of my station by the police. no one said goodbye. that was 2 yrs ago to the day. the liars that pitched me out of there have all been promoted since then. as for me, im every bit as beaten and torn as that flag and here i am sitting on the ground. those heroes cared more about this piece of shit nylon rectangle than they ever did about me. #thanksforyourservice #transrightsmatter #mynameisiden #my_name_is_iden https://www.instagram.com/p/CpmHQijOXOd/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[mynameisiden]

it was the darkest night

when you found me

i thought you would be my light

but you bound me

with your ropes, your chains, your arms

you held me and kissed me deeply

and darkly

until there was

no

more

fight in me

it was the dark kissed night

where you left me

alone with no hope in sight

empty bereft

longing for your arms, you ropes, your chains

anything is better than this

black abyss

because there is

no

more

light in me

[mynameisiden]

sick bitch

they told me my scars were beautiful

they told me they were badges of honor

proof of bravery and heroism and survival

i told them that im a sick sick bitch

who gets hard when she bleeds

who doesnt give a fuck anymore

about who knows and who sees

i told them i am a crazy fiend

who should be in a cage

for them to poke and study

filling graph after graph with my rage

i told them fuck off with that

all of that positivity bullshit

im a fucked up brat who loves being

nuts who loves to fucking cut and aint ever gonna quit

then when i was done screaming

they put their arms around me

and told me they understood

and i cried and cried and cried

because i am a sick sick bitch

and i am so fucking tired

[mynameisiden]

the night sky from a blanket

the night sky from a blanket

and a breeze through a meadow

a love lost girl

an imaginary scenario

two nipples like stars

and a flower unfolded

a universe too wonderous

for one mind to behold

four hands like voyagers

exploring unknown nebulas

charting courses routes

never returning home

hearts lungs our panting propulsion

lips and tongues reckless accelleration

towards the unreachable constant

until together we understand creation

the night sky from a blanket

or a lonely girl in the dark

grateful for what little of you she can get

even if its just an earthbound broken heart

[mynameisiden]

my blood is not my own

CUT CUT CUT

i hear her drum beat

hear it more loudly

than my heart

CUT CUT CUT

she is my anger my hunger and worse

she is my hatred and she is my thirst

so i start

to

CUT CUT CUT

my blood is not my own

at least now im not alone

[mynameisiden]

when?

useless testing

every joy

every pain

pointless questing

all illusion

every hope

every fear

every confusion

it was a waste

every question asked

every touch

every taste

they were all lies

everything ever heard

every tear

ever cried

we endure it

every single soul

everyday food

every night shit

and in the end

the one truth is

everyone dies

the only question is

when?

[mynameisiden]

[mynameisiden]

keep going

left

hug kiss

i can make it

one foot in front of the other

not a beat missed

keep moving

right

laugh smile

i can take it

nod good how are you

but each step is a fucking mile

just keep going

left right

breathe sigh

someday youll get where youre going

someday you’ll die

[mynameisiden]

sometimes its just ok.

[mynameisiden]

amoral agnostic anarchists

the sex crazed

chicks with dicks

communists

you cant erase

and you cant resist

your sore wrist

cock pumping fists

your latest phase

hypocrits scarred

with secret shame

watch us shave

our legs

lick our lips

thrust our hips

5000 video clicks

then try to sweep us away

insane illusionists infiltrating

hollow sanctity

penetrating

felating and flagellating

your holy patriarchy

spotlight hating

shadow masturbating

loudly proclaiming

our villiany

crying conservative clowns

desperate to blame

crumbling town halls

angry mob calls

start taking aim

those with least of all

nail freaks to the wall

and still have the gall

texting me pics of their

shrivelled grey balls