#my two best friends now i've known for almost 6 years and i keep waiting

[stabbyfoxandrew]

man i was feeling better today and then suddenly my mood just fell through the floor? ALSO i started thinking about a friend i had several years ago and how they ghosted me randomly?

earlier this year they commented on a fic we worked on together and said they'd like to message me and then they didn't?

[justyouraverage-simp]

i'm not a little kid// bucky barnes

pairing: bucky barnes x stark!reader, tony stark x daughter!reader (brief)

warnings: none just a little bit of teeth rotting fluff and an overprotective dad

notes: this is the first fic I've written on tumblr so it may not be great but hopefully they will get better

Being the daughter of Tony Stark wasn't always easy, he was overprotective and had a habit of forgetting you had grown up but you knew in your heart that he would always love you. He and your mother had original co-parented you but after she passed away you were left in your dads care full time. This also meant you not only gained a step-mum in Pepper Potts but you also gained an aunt and 4 uncles in Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Bruce Banner and Thor Odinson or as they are now known as The Avengers.

Over time they began to see you as their own child rather than there co-worker's kid and eventually there were a few names that were added into the mix. All having a parental love towards you except one, Bucky Barnes.

You and Bucky had been dating for almost 2 years and the first few months were not easy. Not because of you or Bucky but because of your dad. He hadn't been trusting of Bucky since he turned up and then finding out what he did to his parents during his time as the Winter Soldier. You had managed to separate the two you loved Bucky but the Winter Soldier was a stranger to you. Steve was conflicted, he trusted his best friend with his life but he wasn't sure if he trusted him with you, he had seen you grow up, you were like his daughter and the last thing he wanted was you to get hurt.

Eventually, everyone grew to accept your relationship with Bucky and you had never been happier. He treated you like a queen and he was always was there for you to listen to you rant about your day or to be there to help relax you. After turning 20 your father had finally allowed you to train with the Avengers after asking for years, it wasn't that he didn't trust you it's that he didn't trust the world around him. He knew no matter how hard he tried he couldn't keep the world safe but he knew he could keep his world safe.

You had been training now for 6 months and you had been getting on great and you felt ready to go on your first mission so you waited until the next meeting which conveniently was the next day. The mission was a basic one compared to what to the team was used to, the perfect first mission for you.

"Hey dad" You said after finally plucking up the courage to ask.

"You okay kid"

"Yeah um- I was just wondering if I would be able to go on the mission. I promise I'll be really careful"

"No absolutely not" Tony said quickly

"But why not, I've been training and I feel like I'm ready"

"Oh you feel like your ready, well I feel like you are in over your head and I'm not going to risk losing you. You and Pep are my world y/n you know that and I'm not going to risk you getting hurt over this. That's my final word on it" He said snapping at you.

"Dad please, I'm not a little kid anymore. I know you want to keep me safe and I love you for that, I really do. But at some point you are going to have to let me grow up" You said feeling your eyes glass over slightly

"Y/n I said no, your not going. I know you are growing up and I hate it but I will not allow you to go on this mission"

"Okay fine" You said walking away from your dad and heading to Bucky's room.

When you arrived you saw him laying in bed reading The Hobbit which was one of his favourite stories. "Hey doll, you o-, what's with the tears?" Bucky said after looking up to you and seeing a couple of tears fall down your cheeks.

"My dad" You said as you sat down next to him laying next to him resting your head on his chest, you felt his vibranium arm wrap around and his thumb run up and down your arm softly.

"What happened, I thought you were going to talk to him about you going on a mission" He asked quietly.

"I did but he shut me down immediately, he said I wasn't ready and snapped at me. Basically called me a little kid"

"He's just trying to look out for you, you know that. You know I wasn't overly happy when you told me" Bucky said talking into your hair and placing a kiss on the crown of your head.

"I know but at least you were supportive, he just assumed I was going to get injured"

"I will always be supportive of you doll, you know that but you also have to remember he's your dad. Your his baby girl no matter how big and grown up you are but until the day Tony Stark dies he will protect you. He may not always say it in the best way but he just wants what's best for you"

"How do you always manage to make everything better?" You said cuddling further into Bucky's chest. Once again feeling safe in the arms that were wrapped around you.

[herstarburststories]

You Have A Home

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader

Summary: After a call from Y/N, Sam comes back town to help -- and brings Dean with him.

Requests: N°1 heyhey, could you do a Sam x reader where they went to college togehter and later meet again and they realise their feelings for eachother...xx + N°2: can you do a college sam headcanon with medicine student reader

A/N: This was fun! The monster here is mentioned in season 6, when the boys ask Bobby for advice on how to kill it. This is my first Samgirl long imagine, with Dean being the flirty he is. I wrote this almost one year ago, so it's more crude and I'm nervous to be posting it! And my piece for @cajunquandary 's 600 challenge, my prompt was monster of the week. Dividers by @talesmaniac89!

Dean's eyes remained on the road when the bitter statement left his body, tangled with a wry chuckle, “I can't believe you are still in touch with those people.”

“Those people?” Sam arched elbows, slightly skeptical by his brother's tone, “They were my friends, Dean.”

“Sammy, all our friends? Dead. They all die. Or worse.” He glanced at him for a moment, pursing his lips together. It might not be an easy assignment, but was part of the job. Sammy had tried to run away plenty times and always came back, when would he understand? “We don't get to have friends. You should've learned that.”

“They are not our friends, they are my friends. Also, they don't know about the hunting life, they aren't in harm.” Sammy hissed once the other locked his green eyes on the road again. Dean sighed, moving one hand away and up from the steering wheel in a rendition gesture.

“Whatever you say, man. I'm just warning you, this doesn't usually end up good for them.”

Sam scoffed, Dean could get on his nerves sometimes, “We saved many people that got to have a good life.”

“Yeah, but those people didn't know us before that. I told you when you left Stanford--”

“I didn't keep contact, okay!? I just... I just still have a phone that they have the number of. No social media, no calls on birthdays.” Nervously gesticulating, he added, “I know how to keep them safe, Dean.”

“So, old friend?” The eldest Winchester asked after the few minutes of silence that followed Sam's outburst, “Female old friend?”

“Yes. (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” Dean smirked, and Sam to rolled his eyes at his behavior, “Keep it in your pants.”

He'd let out a malicious laughter before turning on the radio, the first guitar sounds of AC/DC playing in the background.

“I think you'll be the one not keeping it, Sammy.”

“Hello?” The woman in nothing but a towel who had opened the door greeted them with a question, her brown eyes glaring at the two men with clear confusion.

Dean had no shame to check her out, innerly celebrating that she was still wet from her shower. Perhaps visiting Sam's friends wasn't that big mistake. “Hey, you.”

She grimaced at Dean for two seconds before turning her attention to Sam again, sudden recognition written on her face.

“Sam? Sam Winchester?” He nodded, smiling that light-hearted boyish grin at her. Not caring about her dressings, she just threw herself at Sammy, hugging him tightly. “I missed you!” She pulled away only to hit his shoulder. Her short stature didn't match Sam's, but he'd still make a grimace at her attempt of slap. “Why didn't you call? God, your hair grew a lot. Listen, I have some scissors.”

“Tried that, didn't work.” Dean interrupted their reencounter, trying to get in the conversation. An usual lopsided grin on his face, “Dean Winchester, Sam's brother.”

“Layla, Sam's friend.” She gave him a friendly smile in return, opening space for them to pass through the door before closing it, “Come in, I need to change in clothes.”

“I wouldn't even dream of that. Seriously.”

Layla would just wiggle one of her brows at Dean's comments, not impressed by it, “Ele é sempre assim? (Is he always like this?)”

Thankfully, Sam still remembered a bit of his friend's native language. He just chuckled, managing to apologize for Dean's typical Dean behavior, “Unfortunately. Sinto muito. (I'm sorry)”

“(Y/N) is in the kitchen. I'll be right back.” Her accent was thicking stronger duo the comfortability around Sam. Excusing herself, the caramel skinned girl leaded upstairs.

“What did she say?” Dean asked, side glancing at the path Layla had just gone on, not even sure of which language she'd just spoken, much less what was said. Sammy didn't bother replying, satisfied to grin at his obvxion brother. “Dude, come on!”

“Sam!” A well-known voice filled the room as the image of (Y/N) appeared in front of them, dressing your loyal cook's avental. You didn't think twice before jumping on Sam. “I missed you, giant!”

He, like always, caught you with a light-hearted laughter, “I missed you too, cupcake.” You two spent a few moments like this, enjoying each other's warm and long lost touch, until Dean cleared his throat. You finally went back to the ground, embarrassed by having a stranger to see that level of intimacy between you and Sam, “This is Dean, my--”

“Handsome brother. Hello, cupcake.” Dean was so going to tease Sam for the rest of his life for it.

“You really live up for Sam's description.” You giggled, heading towards the kitchen “Come in, I'm baking.”

“So, you and Layla still live together?”

“Most of the time, yes. You know how she is, comes and goes. Never wanted to stay in a place for too long and got a job that supported that.” The boys followed you, Dean examining the kitchen and trying to discover what you were cooking through the smell, while Sam couldn't take his eyes on you, “Apparently, just like you.”

Even though your back was facing them as you checked the food, the bite didn't pass unnoticed, “I had to leave, (Y/N)”

“I understand that, Sam. But you never called or texted. It was like I--” You quickly corrected yourself, “We never existed for you.”

“It's not like that.” Sam sighed, how could he justify? He knew you wouldn't buy a simple excuse. You were smart, and knew him too well to swallow a 'I went on a trip with my brother and just decided that college wasn't my deal' and leave it for that.

“I'm here!” Layla declared, arriving into the room with an excited smile, it was good to have the gang back together. Although, the tangible tension almost made her go back to the shower, “Am I interrupting something?”

“A sitcom DR.” Dean answered with sarcasm, spreading his figure on the chair when you turned around with an apple pie in your hands “What about we talk about the ca-- Is this pie?”

“We heard a scream followed by a loud roar and (Y/N) stayed near the camping part because there was still a signal and I went looking for who it was. When I got there, the thing ran away. Jorge's body... No human did that. His chest was cracked open irregularly, as if it was done by an animal and his heart looked weird. Like it was squeezed and drawn on up somehow?”

“We got a Samia.” Dean stated, relaxing on his spot. Some sault, rosemary and fire would do the job just fine, “Let me guess, it left a clawn near the body or inside it?”

Layla nodded, “Right in the chest or what lasted of it.”

“Are you okay? Finding the body in that state.” A comprehensive manner englobed Sam's question, whom noticed the normality with his friend described finding a shattered body.

“Just some guts.” She shrugged, a grimace was all the reaction they'd get. Crying wouldn't help, neither being terrorized as they expected her too. “I've seen Grey's Anatomy enough not to care about it.”

“Well, I'm literally a medicine student and I am still not okay with that. Especially after you made me go and check the body.” You argued, glaring at your best friend who'd only roll her eyes in response.

“I needed a professional to say if he was dead or not!”

“You need a therapist.”

Dean got up, looking straight at Layla. Time to play the hero in shining armor, “Don't worry with that, we will take care of it.”

Frowning, you were the one to respond, “Do you work for the police now or?”

“Are implying that we investigate it by ourselves?” Your best friend added.

Dean couldn't believe his brother. How the fuck did he let them get inside without saying they didn't know about the hunting business? It was a luck shot that they didn't think much when he said Samia.

“Nope. Not you two. We will do it.” The blonde one said, pointing at them with a smirk.

“I agree, we will do it.” Layla replied, matching his taunt smile.

“Sam, I'm not letting you and your brother do it by yourself. Jorge was my professor, I knew him. Besides, we found the body.” You got on your feet and crossed your arms, waiting for a response. Sam always had a sort of hero complex, ready to help no matter what, but there was no way you'd be letting him go into danger with his brother. Getting in your dormitory to kill a cockroach back then or facing an idiot during a bar fight to protect one of your friends was something, but this? They were talking about looking for an assassin. What if something happened to him? You were the one who called. All on you. The thought of Sam getting hurt for any reason was unbearable, but because of you? You weren't willing to do that.

“You would be in danger, (Y/N). You both.” He tried to explain, internally hoping you'd accept his reasoning and let it go. Sam didn't want you to become one of the friends who knew about this life, you deserve more. He already lost one woman he loved in this city, he couldn't lose another.

You huffed in frustration, “Just like you will!” 

“It's different.” As he was terrified of, you insisted. Arms crossed still and eyes locked with his, determined to get something from him. Sam was smart enough to know that you would keep it going. Perhaps he could give you a short explanation, “Me and my brother, we are used to this. We hunt things like that.”

Layla tilted her head to the side. The way Sam talked remembered her of animal hunting, although she highly doubted that was the case, “Little more explanation?'”

“Monsters are real. Vampires, werewolves, spirits. The list goes on. Call us crazy. Roll the credits.” Sarcasm saltered every word of Dean's as he gestured up and down with a cocky smile. Everyone glared at him, a special furious look from his brother, “What? I thought they knew what we did and that's why she called.”

“Sam?” Your voice was fragile when you said his name, a demonstration that you would believe him through the fear of the truth, but that he had to say it.

Sam laid his hazel eyes on you. God, how he wished he didn't have to confirm anything, to break your vision of world so abruptly, “Dean is right. Supernatural things are real. I know it sounds--”

“Unbelievable? Problematic? Scary?”

“Yeah, all of them.” Sam offered you a humorless smile, then holding your hand the way he used to when you were nervous about an exam, “But I wouldn't lie to you, cupcake.”

The silence was broken by Layla opening a bottle of Whiskey, pouring them for the three people in the room besides herself. You rolled your eyes at your best friend, while Sam wore a tiny smile and Dean was astonished.

Noticing the eyes glued, the latina just shrugged “What? If you are gonna tell me that Dracula is real and you are a sort of Buffy's apprentice, then we will need some alcohol.”

“Why did you call?” Sammy asked, his brows knotted together, mouth slight open as he waited for your response. “You didn't know what I did. And he wasn't my professor at Stanford. Then why did you call, (Y/N)?”

You could make up a hundred excuses. Lie and say he was the one friend besides Layla that you had somehow a way to get to. Appeal to the excuse of 'I felt something weird about the death and you said I should call if I ever had a problem of any kind'. But for as much as you felt horrible for using a death as a pretext for calling him, that was partially the truth. You already had put yourself into a mess of monsters and a drained heart, it couldn't be scarier than being honest to Sam and to yourself.

At least, you hoped so. But your heart was rushing like when you saw Jorge's body. Jesus, when did love become so morbid?

You took a deep breath, oxygen barely achieving your lungs, and then started to talk.

“I wanted to call you the minute that you left, Sam. I almost did a million times.” You answered, looking down at the bottle of a sort of plant that he was putting in a dark green bag. “I thought about what you could be doing, what was so important that you couldn't send me a message. But you just didn't want to call, I guess.”

“I wanted to call, of course I did.” You scoffed at his statement, looking up to match his eyes, “(Y/N), I'm serious.”

“You didn't even come to Jess' funeral, Sam. Layla said that maybe you needed to leave to clear your mind, that was too much to deal with. But I was so worried, and sad and confused and I wanted to talk to you because you would understand, you always did. About anything. And I wanted to give you some sort of comfort, but--” You lifted your hands and shrugged your shoulder, a broken chuckle leaving your body. “But you weren't here.”

“You stopped leaving messages after two weeks. Calling was gone when it made a moth.” You sniffed. Sam's lips curved into a pure, cautelous grin. God, he was always so sweet. “The emails took two months.”

“You were never good with dates. I gave you a calendar in your freshman week.” Your teeth met your lower lip. He didn't answer, only nodding at your affirmation, omitting the fact that he still had the calendar between latin books and pieces of newspapers, “Yet, you remember all of it.”

Sam leaned forward, holding your hand with all the delicacy you would expect from a sculptor. It had been too long since he hugged you, and his touch made all your skin tickle with warmth. “I missed you too, (Y/N). I thought about you all those years.”

“So, Cupcake?”

"Let's focus on the case, Dean."

“Then you can go back and eat your cupcake?” He remarked with a grin. His brother just huffed, pointing the flashlight through the trees, “So, Layla…”

Sam rolled his eyes, like he usually did when Dean started being too Dean for his liking, “Dean. The case.”

Before he could make another teaseful comment, a roar invaded their audition. The hunters gave each other a quick glance before heading towards the direction of the noise.

Shaking the salt and rosemary mixture in his hands, Dean smirked, “That's it. Time to shine, cupcake.”

“I have to admit. Being patched up by a doctor is better than by Dean.”

A surprised, half relieved laughter came out your body as you finished another stitch on Sam's arm. That boy was unbelievable; openly talking and making jokes about his brother, who was also being patched up by your best friend in company of a bottle of whiskey, while he spoke about Layla's name being a rock song. You were working on a large wound on his shoulder-- which you were sure that was full of dirt from the forest.

Medicine student, but I'll take that complement.” You winked at him, gaining a soft grin from Sammy, “I was expecting more blo-- Why are you smiling? I'm touching a recent wound. It doesn't look dangerous, but I'm sure it is supposed to hurt. A lot.”

Sam's answer came out easily, the bare, vulnerable truth: “I'm happy you are here.”

You looked at him, his hair longer than before, but the soft simper remained on his face. You bit your lip to hold a giggle; her heart dared to hope. What he expected when he said things like this? A quiet contentment spread through his expression while he watched your reaction.

“You should have come home sooner.” 

His mouth formed a line, “I don't have a home, (Y/N). It's just Dean, me and the road now.”

“No, Sam.” Shaking your head lightly, you intertwined your fingers with his. His life was dangerous, you couldn't afford the luxury of waiting even more to share what you had finally admitted to yourself in the moment he walked through the door. It didn't seem like the easiest, simpler situation. But the only hard thing you couldn’t go through was to be away from Sam Winchester. He lingered on you for years, you were done letting him run away. It was time to hold his hand and walk together. “You should've come home sooner. To me.”

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[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎! 𝙰𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚣 𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜:

𝙹𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚈𝚞𝚗𝚑𝚘

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, justifying, encouraging nor trying to romanticize yandere behavior. This is all a work of fiction and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

Warning: Mentions of toxic relationship, yandere behavior, self harm, sexual scenes, guilt tripping, gas lighting and other forms of mental manipulation are contained within this post. Read at your own discretion.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:

𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚎: 𝙹𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚈𝚞𝚗𝚑𝚘

𝙳.𝙾.𝙱: 𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚑 𝟸𝟹𝚛𝚍, 𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟿

𝙷𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝: 𝟷𝟾𝟼 𝙲𝙼/ 𝟼'𝟷 𝙵𝚝

𝙰𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■□□□40%

𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■■100%

𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢: ■■■■□80%

𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: 𝙻𝚘𝚠

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: 𝙳𝚎𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝

𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙰𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚜:

• 𝙸𝚗𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 .

•𝚄𝚗𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚢 𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝.

•𝙵𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗.

• 𝙴𝚡𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚕/ 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏-𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍.

•𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏- 𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚣𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚎𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Normal Yunho at first seems like your average guy. He's very sweet, caring, playful and his close, and very few, friends he has would say that he's full of energy and smiles.

He just radiates this sunshine personality that draws people to him, although they may not stay very long.

He met you through mutual friends and acted the same as he did with others.

Albeit it's true, he was very affectionate towards you from the start, which both surprised and didn't surprise his friends.

But that doesn't mean he felt love at first sight with you.

Yunho isn't one to get overly attached right away.....yet.

It happened gradually.

He became attracted to your confident, strong and bold nature, all traits which he lacked in.

But no one knows that because he's good at hiding it.

You were also a very compassionate and empathetic person, which sealed the deal for him.

He admired you from afar, not wanting to get close to you just yet.

However, he'd get pouty and insecure whenever another man would show intentions of wanting to get close to you.

He'd whine often about it and that's how you found out he had feelings for you.

You thought it was cute, that he was cute.

So you were the one who took the first step to start a relationship.

Although shocked, Yunho was extremely happy.

As a boyfriend, he is very devoted to you, putting you above everything else, including his friends, family and health.

Everything moves really fast with him. Example:you had your first kiss on your first date.

Yunho just doesn't see why you have to wait if you two love each other.

"I feel like I've known you my whole life."

Not even 3 months later and you were already sleeping together.

Yunho sees that was the moment he went to heaven......

And that was the moment when hell started.

Yunho started becoming more and more clingy.

Texting, calling you at odd hours, asking you things like where you were, what were you doing, who you were with and if he could go see you.

He usually makes you stay till very late at his place that you have to spend the night with him.

No other option. He insists.

Even keeps spare clothes for you in a drawer he set aside just for you.

Till one day: "Why don't you just move in with me? It'll be so much easier and I could see you even more."

You hesitated, since you were barely 6 months into the relationship and you already felt smothered by his constant presence.

"I don't.... I don't know Yunho.."

He panicked at your hesitation.

"Why...why not? Don't you love me? Is it because you don't want to be around me?"

You began calming him down, trying to explain that maybe things were going to fast, but that only made him get more agitated.

It was truly terrifying for you to see him hyperventilating and choking on his own breathing like that.

Hot tears were falling rapidly down his face as he began saying:

"Why don't you love me? Is it something I did? What am I doing wrong? Tell me!"

"Yunho you did nothing wrong. You're perfect the way you are and I love you just the way you are."

He sniffled and wiped his nose on one of his sweater paws.

"Do you love me? R-really?"

You nodded your head in confirmation. But Yunho was still sulky about something.

"But then.... wha-why not move in? I p-promise you'll like it."

He looked at you with such fragile and tender eyes that you could not refuse him. So you agreed to move in with him.

Biggest mistake you made.

Even though he had his eye on you for most of the day, it wasn't enough for him.

If you were even 3 minutes home later than usual, he was badgering you with questions like:

"Who were you with? What took you so long?"

And you're like "Geez. Let me breathe."

Don't say things like that to him. He starts feeling bad and responds with things like:

"I know I'm sorry, I'm such a pathetic excuse of a boyfriend."

It honestly broke your heart to hear him say such things.

But it also irritated you how jealous he got when you hung out or even talked to another man that wasn't him.

He'd latched onto you in public if he felt you were paying more attention than he liked to another guy.

Sometimes would cause a scene that made you run back home in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry! I just can't help it! Don't you get it?! They're trying to take you away from me!"

"No! You're just an overly possessive and overly jealous boyfriend and I can't stand it anymore! I'm leaving."

"Wait what?"

Yunho watched in horror as you began packing a small bag so you could spend the night somewhere else, and pick up the rest of your stuff later.

All throughout that, Yunho begged, cried and went ballistic.

He repeated for you not to go, not to leave him.

"Y/N you don't understand....you can't leave me... I'll die, I can't live without you.."

You merely rolled your eyes at that. No one dies of a broken heart.

So you just walked out the door and rented a hotel room for the night, unaware of the mess you were about to wake up to.

You woke up bombarded by texts and missed calls from Yunho's friends:

"What did you do to him?!" "You heartless bitch!" "I hope you die if anything happens to him!" "All he did was love you and you destroyed him."

Then the hospital called you: Yunho had tried to kill himself in the night.

Your heart stopped when you found out. You felt so guilty and you felt like a monster.

Without thinking twice, you ran to the hospital to see him.

He layed there, still unconscious from the medication they gave him to calm him down.

You stayed by his side, praying that he'd wake up soon so you could apologize.

He woke up and although he looked surprise to see you....he was only feigning.

Of course you'd go out of your way to see him.

You were bawling your eyes out and holding him close, scared out of your wits at the thought that you almost lost the love of your life.

Yunho apologized, but you hushed him with a kiss, saying it wasn't his fault.

From then on, you began blaming yourself for everything....

And he made sure to remind you not to test him again.

You thought that after that talk, everything would be back to normal and you two could be a regular couple.

How stupid you were.

Life with Yunho now was like walking on thin ice all the time.

You couldn't mention anything about him that made you slightly uncomfortable because he's belittling himself with such foul words, crying to the point of hysteria....

But the worst times are when he's banging his head on a wall hard enough to draw blood, or punching the concrete wall so hard that his knuckles end up bloody and bruised.

You have a heart attack whenever that happens.

You've been so traumatized by his previous suicide attempt that any harm he does to himself sends you in a panic and you're holding him to you, comforting him and reminding him that you love him and won't ever leave him.

Then happy Yunho is back, as if nothing happened.

And he always wants you to reaffirm your love after such ordeals in the bedroom.

Yunho never ever fucks you, no matter how messed up he is.

He likes to take his time with you, going down on you or teasing you with his long fingers before he's thrusting his cock deep inside you.

Always cums inside you, always. With no protection.

It's a reminder that you belong to him and him only.

And also because he knows there's a possibility he could get you pregnant.

Which is what he wants.

If you two have a child together, it would only strengthen the bond you two have and it's another reason to tie you down to him.

And that's exactly what happened.

You were terrified and tried to conceal it for the longest time, but Yunho isn't dumb.

He was elated when he found out you were carrying his child inside of you.

Which only prompted his obsessive nature to escalate.

He made you quit your job because he wanted you to stay home to take care of your baby.

Of course, that's just an excuse to keep you from leaving the house.

You two also officially got marriage, and that was it for Yunho.

He finally succeeded in bounding you two together for life.

As a father, he doesn't mind sharing you with your new baby daughter.

He loves and adores his daughter very dearly because she is a physical manifestation of the love between him and you.

But she's the only child you two are having. There's only so many people he's willing to share you with.

To others, he's a doting and loving father and husband.

In the eyes of an outsider, you guys are the perfect family.

But you.....you stopped fighting a long time ago.

You resigned yourself to accept that this is your life now and you'd better make the best of it.

You're no longer the strong, confident and decisive woman you once were.

Yunho made sure to tear that all down to the point where you simply just act in a way that'll make him happy and won't trigger him to repeat what happened years ago...

Especially not in front of your daughter. You do not want her to experience what you did.

So the question remains.....how do you escape Yandere Yunho?

Well....... you have two choices:

Either spend the rest of your life playing into his façade of a perfect relationship, that's the easier choice.

It certainly spares you the mental, emotional and physical strain of fearing when his next suicide attempt might happen if you do anything that'll result in him degrading himself or guilt tripping you into staying with him.

Or..........kill yourself. But keep in mind that if you do, he won't be too far behind from you. In the words of Yandere! Yunho himself:

"Nothing will ever break our bond, our bond is forever. Even in death, our love will go on."

[d-targaryenshoe]

Falling, Fallen • Jackson Avery

Notes: I'm a huge softie for Jackson Avery. Don't @ me. And I had this idea since forever 🥺

Summary: Y/N is Jackson Avery's wife and decides to ignore her husband's good advice.

Warnings: needles, medical terms

Word Count: 1891

Jackson Avery. Someone who gave you a lot of heartache back in the days. Watching him love a few woman.

Then seeing him gave one of your best friends a love speech and running away with her from her own wedding.

Those moments were the most hurting times, but when the both of them needed help it was you who would be there for them. Because you knew in the end they were still your friends.

Although your feelings never went away. You still secretly loved him, but your mouth was muted. You didn't want to ruin what they had.

But a single talk together with Alex Karev made words fly around in the O.R and into the ears of Jackson Avery. Which made your secret not so much of a secret anymore.

After 6 months You were living together. Then a year after the two of you got married but now a year and a half you were waiting for the worst pain ever. Called labor.

Pregnancy. Something you thought you were not going to experience anytime soon. But yet you were experiencing it. Anytime as you were sitting on the couch in April Kepner's couch.

"You're all round and almost popping, you should be in laying bed, not sitting in my couch Y/N." The ginger female sighed, placing a pillow behind your back. "Pregnancy is not a joke."

April was the most worried friend you had. Although you never expected her to be this okay with you and Jackson being together. Because you knew how much he meant to her.

"I'm going crazy in that penthouse just waiting for a single sound to make me feel alive." Caressing your belly, you leaned your head back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling.

"Says the 40 week far pregnant woman, who's most likely to have a baby today or tomorrow." April raised an eyebrow at you while she placed both of her hands on your belly. "It's moving down."

Giving her an deadpanned stare you tried to get up from the couch as you leaned on your hands. Walking over to the female her fridge.

"Did you just spill my bottle of water?" April asked, knowing you were clumsy at times, or all the time.

Hearing the footsteps come closer to you as you just stared down to your feet, a small pool of water on the floor and no way to get out.

"Oh my- okay, stay calm. You're gonna be fine okay? I'll take care of you. My car keys." The ginger haired woman rambled, grabbing the black keys off the hanger on the wall.

Running a hand through her ginger colored locks April held open the door as you walked through and fresh air met your skin.

Opening the door of the car and getting in, you noticed April's nervous state as she quickly got around and sat down next to you, twisting her keys in the contact.

"Just keep breathing and don't die, okay?" April squeaked, placing her hand on yours as she gave you a much saying face. "That was dark wasn't it?"

Releasing a slight breath through your nose, you nodded at your friend as she drove out of her parking spot, not exactly slowly. "A little too dark."

"Jackson is going to freak out when he knows I didn't ignore your attempts to get out." Spinning her steering wheel towards left, she bit the inside of her cheek.

"If I didn't come to you. I'd be in that penthouse going into labor all by myself, Apes." Placing your hand on the dashboard, you leaned over while holding the bottom of your belly. "Constraction."

Coming to a halt you saw the light of April's phonescreen as she tapped her stopwatch app and she passed her phone to you. "Tap it every time you get one."

Tapping the icon, you breathed out, watching the stop lights turn green as April started driving again, giving you a quick glance.

"We're almost there, I just need a damn parking spot, okay?" At this moment the only thing you were able to do was throwing all your trust in April's hands but also in yourself.

Leaning your head back, you closed your eyes in pain but also in hope that all of this would be over soon. But the sound of a car door slamming shut made you opened your eyes again.

"Come on, take my hand." April took a hold of your hand as she pushed the door closed behind you with her free hand. "Y/N Y/L/N you're not having this baby in this parking lot."

Releasing her hand, you ignored her rambling and walked up to the double doors of the hospital with a fast tempo.

"Hey, I wasn't done talking!" The female retorted, pushing the door open before you walked through, placing your hand on top of your belly, breathing out.

"In and out, good job." April answered as she breathed in and out together with you. "Just like that."

"Oh god! Is it this far? Am I becoming a grandma?" Your eyes moved up as Catherine Avery strolled over to you with a nervous smile covering her lips before her eyes fell on April. "Oh and April, I've got her."

April frowned at the older woman, fiddling with her car keys as she placed her hand on your back, trying to release the pain somehow." But I just-"

Knowing Catherine Avery wasn't one of the easiest person the two of you have known, things didn't make it any easier.

"I've. Got. Her. You're free to go." Catherine pointed out, placing her one arm around your waist and the other holding your hand, leading you towards somewhere else. "Thank you for taking care of her, though."

You just assumed April nodded at her, knowing somewhere deep inside herself she was grateful for everything April did for you. And so where you.

Pulling open the blue curtains, the only thing you did was opening the cabinets and grabbing a patient gown, walking into the bathroom to change yourself.

"Take your time okay, sweetie?" A soft knock was sounded on your door what made you sigh slightly, the woman had no patience at this moment. "There's no need to hurry, okay?"

Opening the door with a fast pull, you threw a single glare in the female Avery her way, being frustrated with pain and a watermelon sized child inside of you.

"April told me someone is having a-" Arizona Robbins her words were cut off as she noticed the long browned haired woman sitting on chair. "Baby."

"Yes and please as fast as i can, I'm dying." You snapped, placing your hands on the hospital bed, moving your hips around, trying to soothe the pain. "Give me an epidural and enough lidocaine."

You heard a slight snort in the room, knowing Catherine couldn't handle herself in bringing out her own opinion as she walked out of the room.

"We can do that, let me page Jackson first, yeah?" Arizona placed a hand on your shoulder, giving you one of her toothy smiles when grabbing her pager. "Let me check your dilation?"

Grunting, you slightly layed back on the bed, placing your feet apart from each other, placing your arm over your eyes, scared for the pain you'd feel.

"Just relax, I know it's not comfortable but I need to do this." Arizona comforted, hearing you take a deep breath in, feeling the pressure. "You're 5 centimeters dilated, so an epidural is an option, I'll need Jackson to keep your back arched, okay?"

Nodding your head in silence, you lay your feet back down, covering them with the white blanket.

"I told you to stay home, why are you so stubborn?" And this was the moment you didn't wait for. A preach by your husband, who would freak out. "You're unbelievable."

"Well I'm carrying a human watermelon inside of me, maybe you should just be quiet and let me do my job?" You snapped back, sitting up, noticing Arizona held back a smile.

"I need to place a epidural, could you move up your hospital gown?" Arizona smiled, gathering her supplies to release you from the pain.

Moving the hospital gown away from your back, you could feel the cold disinfectant being wiped on your back with a cotton ball.

"I will give you a local anesthetic, just a little sting." Looking at the man in front of you, you slightly shook your head as he bit the inside of his cheek.

"I need you to lay on your side now, Jackson I need you to hold her hands as I insert the epidural." Arizona lectured, giving him a small shove in his back, breaking his stubbornness.

Shuffling back on your bed, you turned to the left, taking a hold of Jackson's hands as you felt Arizona inserting a needle into the lower section of spine. "Oh, this is the last and only baby I'm ever having."

"And in two years time we'll be here again." Jackson muttered, releasing your hands, giving you a smile that said a lot. "You know I'm right."

"You wish." The sentence left your mouth and Arizona snorted at the words, removing the needle of the Epidural.

"Let me see how far we're standing." The paediatrician mumbled, motioning for you to place your feet away from each other. "And Avery one more cocky remark, I'll hit you."

Jackson opened his mouth but nothing came out, instead he sighed and crossed his arms at the blonde female.

"You're 9 centimetres, Jackson I need you to sit behind her, and Y/N, I need you to be badass, okay?" The blonde female explained, placing her gloved hand on your knee, with trust.

"I can do that." You nodded, leaning back in your husband's chest, sweat already covering your forehead, wanting to be done with this. "I'm freaking Y/N Avery, I can do this."

Arizona shrugged and smiled slightly sitting down on the chair at your feet. "See? Just like that, If you have enough power, I need you to push."

Leaning back on Jackson's shoulder, you placed your hands on your knees, as a pain struck your abdomen, leaning forward you placed all your power on your core.

"Push push, you're doing great." Arizona spoke up, giving you a single spark of hope. "If you have the power, you can push again."

Not giving a single answer, you placed your chin on your chest and pushed once again.

"Head is out, one more firm push, and you're almost done." The blonde surgeon spoke up, giving you courage, knowing it was almost over.

Getting al your power together and sweatdrops covering your forehead, you placed pressure on your body for the last time as a loud cry was sounded across the room and made you lean your head back on Jackson's shoulder.

Seeing Arizona stand up with a bundle wrapped in a white towel, you held out your hands toward your friend. "It's a baby boy."

"Well aren’t you the cutest little thing?” Jackson whispered, caressing his son's cheek.

"I carried that for 9 months, you better call me cute AND badass." You retorted, gazing up at your husband. "Because I am."

"Yes you are, and I'm proud." He answered, kissing you sweaty forehead. "You are."

[casmybelovedass]

The Destiel Folder: Season 7

[Season 4; Season 5; Season 6]

This season is mostly Dean being a depressed bi who can't cope with his crush's death.

This is, in my opinion, the season where Dean actually starts realizing he might for real think of Cas as something more.

Episode 1:

Cas is basically gone, both Bobby and Sam (almost) are ready to compel to whatever he says, but Dean still tries to get him to come back. "You can turn this around. Please!" (3:13) Denial

Dean has no idea how to deal with God!Castiel, but desperate to find him, and getting emotional "I don't even know what book to hit for this." "Then figure it out!" (5:47) Anger

As we have said many times already, angels don't have a sex, Castiel is not a man, and as he states, he is "utterly indifferent to sexual orientation" (8:03), and so is Chuck, God himself, who has admitted having had both girlfriends and boyfriends.

Dean turns off the news the moment he hears a woman describe Cas as "young and sexy", while doing that jaw clentch thing of his (10:14) ... huh... [and this doesn't really matter, but after this we immediately see Dean in a purple flannel. PURPLE! Go Bi!Dean]

"He's not a guy, he's a God [...] Cas is never coming back. He's lied to us, he's used us, he's cracked your gourd like it was nothing. No more talk. We've spent enough on him." (11:09) Dean trying to jump to the 5th stage of grief. Yeah, no baby that's not how it works

Dean tries so hard to convince himself that Cas's gone so he can kill him, but can't really. "Just kill him now!" and struggles hard to hold Castiel's glare. And as soon as Death offers a second option to killing him, Dean takes it. Bargening

"Dean, look, I know you think Cas is gone." "That's because he is." (31:22) Again with trying to jump to acceptance. Not doing great, Dean. In fact, "Yeah, you know how I'm gonna deal? I'm gonna stuff my pie hole, I'm gonna drink, and I'm gonna watch some asian cartoon porn. And act like the world's about to explode, because it is." (32:17) There it is. Depression.

[Remember this: Dean has no shame in watching porn in front of his brother. Wait a few seasons and see]

Just moments earlier, Dean was all "That's not Cas, Cas is dead" and shit, and now he goes "What? You need something else?" worried-husband-mode the moment Cas asks for help (34:50). Also#MARRIED (35:16)

Bobby: "Where's Sam? It's go time." Dean: *looks back at Cas worried* (37:12)

MUST HELP HUSBAND (38:06) look at Dean's eyes!!! They're like 'It's okay, it's okay. You've got this.' "I'm sorry, Dean." Cas chose these words to be his last, thinking he was going to die. LOOK AT DEAN (38:21) ICWAW this would MEAN SOMETHING ELSE

"CAS! [...] Is he breathing? ... Maybe angels don't need to breathe." says the one who was going around saying Cas was gone for good. "He's gone, Dean." "... damn it... *tears up* Cas, you child... Why didn't you listen to me." #MARRIED (39:15) Then he goes "CAS?!" as soon as he starts breathing again. ICWAW, we would SCREAM "LOVE" in this scene

"Imma find some way to redeem myself to you *looks at Dean straight in the eyes*" "*looks at Cas up and down*... Alright, well, one thing at the time, come on. Let's get you out of here." "I mean it, Dean." *eye love-making* "... Okay." (40:30) ICWAW, oooohhh, the meanings this scene would have...

Dean's face when the Leviathans tell him Cas is dead. Again. (41:18)

Episode 2:

Dean looking at the Leviathans occupying Cas' body. The HATE (1:44)

"... okay... so he's gone. *shakes while tearing up* [...] Dumb son of a bitch..." (5:14) Here we go again... I'm fine, shut up

Dean picks up, washes, folds and keeps Cas' coat (5:23) SWEET

"You just lost one of the best friends you've ever had." this hurts me. "... I'm fine, really." (12:11)

"You asked me how I was doing? Well, not good." (38:54)

Episode 5:

Dean progressively drinks more as his nightmares get worse and he misses Cas more and more. 3 times we see him drink, only in the first 12 minutes.

Sam can tell Dean feels like shit, and bet one of those reasons is Cas "Like it or not, the stuff you don't talk about, it doesn't just go away. It builds up." (39:33) Yeah, and not only problems or grief... even love

Episode 7:

Not a destiel moment, but Dean totally got hit on by the waiter. LOL (7:30)

And again. What is it with men in this town and Dean. "We're looking for a necklace." "Romantic. *looks at Dean*" (12:17). Is it an energy reading thing or something? Can they feel the bi energy?

"The Campbell brothers. [...] They weren't actually brothers. That was a cover for their, uhm... alternative life style." (22:40) Huh... I guess calling your lover "brother" runs in the family

"Ever since Cas... I'm having a hard time trusting anybody." (40:44) ouch

Episode 9:

Dean is drunk/high on Leviathan juice, and the first thing he thinks and blabbers about, is Cas (19:48) "I don't even care anymore." Oooohh ICWAW... the possibilities for this scene

Episode 12:

Dean totally checked out that man in uniform. FIGHT ME (16:27)

Episode 13:

"You're head's not in it, man. When Cas died, you were wobbly, but now-" "Now what!!" (39:35) as soon as Sam mentions Cas' death, Dean gets snappy

Episode 17:

Dean keeps getting snappy whenever Sam mentions Cas

"OH my God the love of my life is alive!" (13:02-13:06)

Dean's face when Daphne touches Cas (13:25), and when he calls her his wife (13:41)

AND HIS FUCKING FACE TRYING NOT TO TEAR UP BECAUSE CAS DOESN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT HIM (14:16)

You mean to tell me that ICWAW this wouldn't be seen as a mini desperation moment from a man seeing his lover in this situation? Yeah, I don't think so

"What if you were some sort of... I don't know, bad guy." "I... I don't feel like a bad person." Dean's face is like "Damn right you aren't" (16:50)

"He betrayed you, this dude. He was your friend?" Dean looking at him... can't even answer the question (19:59)

Dean says Cas' betrayal is something he cant get over like everything else. And that he doesn't know why. "It doesn't matter why." "Of course it matters!" (20:25)

Dean gets visibly uneasy about Meg being so close to Cas (25:34) jealous boyfriend is jealous

Dean doesn't want Cas to remember, afraid he'll leave again (32:18)

"I've known you for years!" (32:34) poor baby. Also "You're an angel." "Uhm, I'm sorry? Is that a flirtation?" DEAN'S FACE (32:42)

Dean doesn't want Cas to be hurt by his own memories and past actions (33:00)

"You used to fight together. Bestest friends, actually." Yeah, look at that reaction. Let's see how he reacts to being called his boyfriend later on (33:09)

#MARRIED!!! I'll just leave this. No comment (33:41)

As Cas regains his memories, only 2 of the ones we see are not of Dean. And the only one we hear is the "I'm sorry, Dean." . That is what matters to Cas (and this looks like a slash video. Kudos to the editors) "I remember you... I remember everything." Yeah, no-homo save (34:35)

Not even an hour earlier, Dean was ranting about Cas betraying him, how he couldn't forget and forgive him, and now he is saying Cas did "the best you could at the time", but Cas actually feels guilt and doesn't want Dean to defend him, but Dean does anyway (36:53)

"We didn't part as friends, Dean." "*looks at Cas up and down*... So what?" "I deserved to die." the look on Dean's face (37:18)

Dean gives Cas his trench coat back. The trench coat he kept, folded and all the the truck, for weeks. And that's not even Baby. So he moved the coat, to always have it with him (37:26). I'm not crying, shut up

Also, here, have a deleted scene that breaks my heart

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Episode 20:

Let us all appreciate that one time Dean helped a lesbian flirt with a dude (24:27-25:03)

Episode 21:

Dean is devastated about Cas' mental state, that he did that to himself to save Sam. Look at his eyes in this scene (16:08). Also, Dean still resents Cas for the whole 'New God' crap, but it feels like the real reason is the fact that he left (19:18)

"Cas! Don't make me pull this car over!" "Are you angry? Why are you angry? *puppy eyes*" "... No I-I'm..." #MARRIED (27:28)

Cas says he won't fight anymore, but as soon as Dean's in trouble, he FLIPS

"The angels... they don't care... I think maybe they don't have the equipment to care." (31:49) Touchy much, Dean?, are you trying to convince yourself about that? It feels like he's making excuses to not let himself feel anything for Cas. "It seems like when they try, it just... breaks them apart." ... OK, fuck everything, ICWAW this would totally be seen as romantic angsty reference to Cas

Cas is so lost in his guilt for what he has caused. He looks like a baby, and it gets worse when it comes to Dean

"Why should we give you anything? After everything you have taken from us? The very touch of you curropts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!" (36:50) okay damn, ICWAW all of this would seem as if they were talking about a love relationship between the two and you can't tell me otherwise

'HURT HUSBAND-MUST PROTECT MODE' (37:17)

"The bone of a righteous mortal and the blood of a fallen angel" ... shut up, I'm dying over these clues (39:11)

"What are you gonna do, Cas?" Dean's eyes are begging him to stay. ICWAW, we would point that out without a shadow of a doubt (39:40)

Episode 23:

"Dude... on my car. He showed up naked... covered in bees!" ... come on, ICWAW this would be a HUGE deal (5:10)

"Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first." (8:51) LISTEN HERE. I study psychology, and one of the first things they teach you is that jokes are based on the truth. HOW MANY OF THESE JOKES WERE MADE?! HUH??!! (plus all the "Dick" jokes Sam made) Also Dean's reaction with the jaw clentch... just saying

Cas keeps stating he doesn't want to fight, but again, Dean's in trouble? FIGHT MODE

"*soft shoulder touch, puppy eyes, serves Dean a sandwich*" ... SOFT #MARRIED COUPLE (18:27)

"You got anything to say on the topic of dicks?" you'd like that, wouldn't you, Dean? (26:42)

Cas is afraid he will do something to cause Dean more trouble. Let's remember he chose what he believed were his last words to be "I'm sorry, Dean.", but as we know, Dean deals with feelings by showing anger... Cas gets upset and copes by playing twister... pathetic. "I can't help. [...] I destroyed everything and I will destroy everything again!" for a moment, Cas is lucid, and expresses his fear, but as soon as Dean gets angry with him, Cas gows back to hide in his world of crazy (26:47)

"I'm not good luck, Dean." "... You know what? [...] I'd rather have you. Cursed or not." Look at Cas' soft little smile as it grows. ICWAW, this would be read as another confession (32:38)

"I'll go with you." SOFT

SEE??! The MOMENT Dick threatens Dean, Cas goes full Angel of the Lord on his ass. MUST PROTECT HUSBAND (36:52) and the utter shock on Dean's face is priceless

And here comes PurGAYtory

[Season 8>>]

[rebelcap]

We are not just friends —Part 6

Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she's brown.)

Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues, my girl Sofia kinda messy, lots of fucking (eventually)

This is slow burn at its best, at least emotionally.

Series masterlist

Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5

6. Stay.

Chris's brain was barely functioning as they kissed, slowly. Her lips were soft and gentle against his, she was sucking and licking his lips as Chris caress her neck and slide his hand slowly to her lower back. Sofia grabbed his wrist and pulled his down under, to get a hold of her ass and Chris smiled.

“Damn, Sof—” He whispered as he kissed her neck and pull her close, sliding his leg between hers. She gasped when she felt that sweet friction on her pussy, that only encourage Chris more as he moved his hand under her shirt and lifted it, planting kisses on her belly as he goes up.

He's abruptly interrupted as Sofia pushed him off and she quickly straddles him as she planted a firm kiss on his lips. His hands go to her hips making her feel how hard he already was.

“Fuck,” She mumbles against his lips and Chris took that as a cue and moved her against him again, now she fully set down on his clothed dick rubbing her pussy alongside. Chris sat down pushing her further down as he kissed her again, Sofia began moving her hips as she used his shoulder as leverage to move.

The friction was enough to get her going and Chris was kissing her neck, rubbing his beard and holding her close.

“You're so fucking warm,” Sofía said as he pushed her hands under his shirt, feeling his muscles tense as she moans softly at Chris's ear. Chris was about to take off her shirt as an annoying ringtone started blasting from her forgotten hoddie.

“Shit,” Sofía exclaimed as she reached for the hoodie.

“Do you have to get that?” Chris asked as she tried to fish out her phone, never stooping to plant kisses on her neck.

“It's Ron,” She said triumph as she slides her finger and put the thing on her ear. “Hey boss, ” She answered as she played with Chris's hair, dischaved it more.

Chris felt like he was on a cloud, feeling beyond intoxicated as she touched him so lightly. He kept trying to take her shirt off and she swats him shaking her head.

“But-” Chris tried to argue and she mm-uhm at the phone and leans on to kiss him fully on the lips.

“Yeah, sure. I'll be there. I might take a little bit because I'm not on the hotel-yeah, sure. Alright, I'll take a few samples and meet you there.” She said smiling through her voice as she hung up. Sofia let out a sigh and look down at Chris that had to lay down to the grass. “I have to go.”

“You're kidd-wait!” Sofía was quickly on her feet as he almost couldn't move, his dick was painfully hard. “Sof!” He sat down and saw her sliding inside of her jacket and put her backpack on. She walked back inside and kissed him but on the cheek, which took Chris by surprise.

“See you,” She smiled casually, ruffled his hair, and before Chris could even answer she was out.

“Stay,” Chris Whispered as he laid back to the grass and palmed his dick. “Fuck.”

~~

"What the fuck?!” Sofía muttered angrily at herself as she wiped her cellphone and quickly texted her Jiminy Cricket.

I heavily make out with Chris, thoughts?.

Before she could even pocket her phone it rings to like.

“He—

“Fucking finally!.”

“No, Mandy. I never meant it to do that, he was talking about her ex and fucked up shit people do to him and he said he trusted me and I kissed him!” Sofía stressed herself as she tells what happened. “I almost fuck him if it wasn't that Ron called!”

“Then why did you kiss him?” Mandy asked as she shushed someone, it was probably Luke.

“I don't know!” She shouted as she crossed the street and wave down a taxi. “What I'm supposed to do now?,” Sofía asked as she gets in and quickly told the driver the address of the hotel.

“What if I ruined a perfect friendship?, because you know I adore that idiot.”

“Sofía, you need to talk about it then.”

“No fucking way.”

“Are you going to avoid Chris?”

“Fuck yes, until I can look him on the face again. Oh my God!, why I'm such a hoe?, Why I'm like this?” Sofía covers her face as the driver cleared his throat.

“Sof, don't avoid him. Chris is your friend, not some guy…” Amanda told her making her curse under her breath.

“Yes, I know that—I'll a with it later.”

Later, much much later. The meeting went more than amazing, Ron had managed to seal a deal with a bar that was a household of LA, this was a big step in the right direction.

“You did well today, kid. I'm proud of you.” Ron grabbed her shoulder and give it a warm squeeze making Sofía smile.

“Thanks, Ron, it means a lot.”

Ron smiled back at her and keep on chatting with the bar people, the place was packed but she had managed to be on a place that was kind of quiet and her beer kept getting warmer by the second.

“You need a refill?” The barmaid asked her and she nods a few times giving her back the glass. “You okay?” She asked putting back the full pint in front of her.

“I guess,” Sofia sigh and put both elbows on the counter bar. “I kissed one of my closest friends and he kissed me back and now I'm confused as fuck.”

She laughs but understood. “You like him?”

“Yes, besides that he's freaking captain America—” She laughed. “He's great, awesome and we had so much fun together. I've known him for a year now our best friends date each other.”

“So, there's been pressure?”

“You've got no idea, we mostly laugh and joke about it—he was with someone until a couple of months but he slept with her recently and he's avoiding her and I'd kiss him and he kissed me back and if it wasn't that I'd have to come here we were going to sleep together.”

“Alright, you two obviously like each other of any of that wouldn't have happened.”

“Guess so.”

“That doesn't leave much room for thinking, girl.” She wiped the counter and Sofía just hummed.

Her phone started ringing and it was Mandy calling her.

“Hey babe, what's up?”

“Hello, gorg, where you at?”

“I'm still on the bar—”

“I know but where?”

“On the last stall of the bar—why you want to know?” Sofía asked sipping her beer and heard mumble over the phone.

“Just asking for a friend—”

“Mandy no.”

“Mandy yes, you'll thank me later I know, I love yoooooou.” She sings over the phone and Sofía hung up and grunted and started to drink her beer.

“Shit.” Sofía gulped and drank the rest of her beer on one go and asked the barmaid for something stronger—she was going to need it.

“Yeah, I see her. thanks, bro, yeah yeah.” Chris spoke making his way through the crowd of the bar, it wasn't many people. He could easily see her on the back of the bar, chugging down the rest of the beer.

“Sofi,” He spoke sitting on the stall beside her. Sofía gives him a quick look and bites her bottom lip. “You run on me,” Chris said with a smile, seeing her acting this shy was… endearing.

“Yes, I know.” She hummed and nod a few times, still looking forward and made a face. “Sorry, I didn't mean that to happen—I mean, you know. Dude—I don't want you to think that—Chris, fuck. I'm sorry, I don't want to fuck up what we have.” Sofía stumbles over her words, not really knowing what to say because she didn't even know what to think about it. One thing she was sure was that she absolutely didn't want to lose Chris over anything.

“You don't fuck up nothing, sweetheart.” Chris quickly assure her. “Trust me, it's everything alright but we do have to talk about it—

“Chris—

“No, we'll talk about it.” He interrupted, sternly. Sofia sigh and nod a few times as she kept an eye on her boss.

“We can't, my boss is there and there are people and I'm trying to prolong this not talking. So, maybe back at the hotel?”

Chris laughed and Sofia covered her face with her hands, half embarrassed and half smiling. Couldn't help to feel relief that Chris wasn't giving her shit about it, it makes sense what she was saying.

“Alright,” He bows his head to then look back at her, smiling like a freaking ray of sun. “Don't panic, Sof—

“I'm not, It's just—I like you, I really like you, dude. I don't want to fuck this shit up.”

“Baby—it's not,” Chris quickly interrupted shaking his head. “I like you, in all honestly I've wanted to kiss you since I saw you at the bar.”

“Chris… really?”

“Yeah, you kidding me?” He laughed hiding his face under his hat, he was blushing. Sofía laughed and pull his cap down.

“Idiot.” She mutters biting her lip and looked around, at least no one seems to notice him. “I should go to see if Ron needs any help, you wanna stay or…

“I honestly prefer to be alone with you, I can't kiss you here.” He shrugged and Sofía rolled her eyes.

“Christopher.” He laughed again.

“Alright, alright—” He raised his hands and rub his beard. “I'll go to the hotel, okay?”

Sofía nods a few times and he laughs, making her laugh.

“What are we doing!?” She exclaimed putting both hands on her face, embarrassed. Chris couldn't help but hug her, placing a kiss on top of her head.

“We'll figure it out.”

~~

Well shit, finally.

Thanks everyone, your support means so much!

Tag list

@letsdothemonstermash

@lunaticbarnes

@firstangeldragonranch

@lovepeacefood (doesn't let me tag u)

@thegirlwithpaperheart

[greenninjagal-blog]

currently vibing in a two-week lockdown, can you share some of your favorite fics? i need some new things to read, and I've got too much time on my hands-

Aw man, same! The rest of my actual Spring Semester got turned online… Let’s see…..Fic recs for the pseudo End of the World (Courtesy of AO3, arranged by most prominent ship!) Keep in mind that my descriptions are shorter and written mostly for comedic effect than the actual fics, so if something looks interesting Click it! Get more info about it! Don’t just take my word! I tried my best to get a lot of variety of fics and topics and tropes, as well as authors that might not be as well known! Uhhh here are the links to lists I’ve already made for various other reasons check out my Fic Rec Masterlist!

I also am including various of my fav authors masterlists for funsies!

jungle321jungle’s || Max-isTired’s || TrashficParlour’s || Lefaystrent’s || Mine!

Completed Fics

A Deal in which Virgil tries to summon a familiar and gets a Circle King instead. And he’s really pretty. (Anxceit)

Love Like You in which Virgil decides to give up looking for a romantic partner and considers adopting instead. He finds more than he’s looking for with a set of twins and the man who watches over them (Anxceit)

A Dragon’s Tail in which Logan is cursed to be a Dragon by his best friends stepmother, Virgil is struggling to learn a power he can’t control, Patton who’d rather marry a servant than the Prince, and Roman has no clue what is going on but the Prince he’s supposed to be saving can probably kick his ass. (Logicality, Prinxiety)

A Game of Vice in which Remus kidnaps Roman and turns it into a game of who can come save him from his lonely tower. (Logicality, Prinxeity) 

double down with the paradigms in which Logan tries to explain away his own OCD while dealing with the emotions he has for a certain Pre-Vet. Excellent depiction of OCD, made me cry, 300/10 would read again. (Logicality, Prinxiety)

It Takes Two to Tango in which Roman begs his brother, Logan, to let him go back in time to meet a famous dancer. Falling in Love was not part of the plan. (Prinxiety, Logicality)

A favorite star in the heavens in which everyone has at least one soulmate. They’re luckily enough to have three each. (LAMP) 

Forgotten Forests and Magnified Myths in which Logan finds out very suddenly that he has the passive ability to talk to dragons. (DAMP, Remilie)

Sense5 in which five people in different countries are suddenly psychically linked together and uh…yeah fun times. (DLAMP)

Stray Hearts Are Subject To Change in which black cat hybrid Virgil plans to die very heroically in an alley and Roman completely messes up that plan by being a decent human being. (Prinxiety, Logicality)

Hidden In Shadows in which Virgil is the boogieman every adult warned you about but he doesn’t actually enjoy being scary. Good thing the three Sanders kids aren’t scared of anything. (Not so good for their very confused Dad who isn’t sure what to do about their new imaginary friend)

Paved with Good Intentions in which the dark sides agree to send Virgil to the light sides as a way to get Thomas to listen to them more. Now if Virgil can just get along with the Light sides enough to actually start making some progress…

Absent Gods and Silent Tyranny or: How Logan Learned to Stop Over Thinking and Love Everyone in which Logan is a morally grey scientist who just works for supervillains because they pay well. He doesn’t expect someone like Virgil to change that.

Series

Clouds and Moss AU in which the sides are gods and its very gay and very good. (Intrulogical, Roceit)

Colors in which Logan is an excellent Dad, Virgil is an amazing son, and the world is very colorful. (Logicality)

Labeled in which Logan is a famous superhero, Patton is a doctor, and they adopt the would-be super villain and everything is soft and lovely and I cry at the purity. (Logicality, Remilie)

Fbi!au in which the sides work for the fbi and I diligently reread these series of oneshots for a daily dose of serotonin!  (Logince, Moxiety)

Growing Old is More Fun with You in which Patton is a PTA dad and so is Deceit and they have a “rivalry”. (Mociet)

Gilded Cage in which Roman is forced to dance for the fairy queen whenever she wants it. (Prinxiety)

Renegades! in which the sides live in a dystopia and fight the government while being completely in love with each other. (Prinxiety, Logiciality) 

Love and Other Fairytales in which a couple decides to keep their changling and their actual son, a child is cursed gifted a voice that makes people do whatever he says, a boy makes a rotten deal for the sake of his friend, and centuries before any of this, a fae prince is tricked into an endless sleep by his brother. 

The Vampire Hunting Vampire in which Virgil was turned into a monster and LPR slowly convince him he’s not as bad as he thinks he is. Through cuddles. (LAMP, DLAMP)

Wasteland, Baby! in which there are things in the woods and Patton gets,,, intimate with them. On purpose! (LAMP)

Destined in which Damian has successfully ignored his Soulmates for five years and he planned on doing it for much longer but on his twentieth birthday fate intervenes with a second soultrait that forces him to come face to face with all of them. (DLAMP)

Old Gods in which Gods sometimes walk the earth and Remus is pleased to hear that people are still making offerings to him– wait that is not a goat. And other fun stories!

Sit back and watch the world go by in which Virgil is a human abducted by alien smugglers, befriends Patton, breaks out, and everyone fears humans as space orcs, almost as much as Virgil is afraid of them. 

Teaming the Pieces Together in which Thomas is a pokemon trainer and eevees just…click with him.

Tales from the Dark Sides in which the author provides a lovely hub of works where Virgil is abused by OC dark sides and DLMPR are there to help patch him up.

Uncle Emile and the Super Nephews in which Emile gets custody of his six nephews and tries to bond with them. They in turn try very hard not to tell him they have superpowers.

Cuffed Universe in which Remus is a cop chasing after a hacker, Logan breaks the laws and Virgil would just like tO KEEP ONE JOB WITHOUT ONE OR BOTH OF THE OTHERS DRAGGING HIM INTO THEIR SHIT. (Analomus)

Ongoing Fics

The Origin in which space travel via Thomas Sanders’s ship SS Revelation gets more complicated when the Planets themselves turn out to be entities who aren’t all on board with humanity spreading to the rest of the solar system. (Remile) 

Delicato in which Logan and Patton are music professors with very different conceptions of music, and Virgil and Roman are students in both their classes who just want them to kiss already. (Logicality, Prinxiety)

Coming out of The Shadows in which a small mutant child Virgil is treated as subhuman because of his uncontrolled ability to manipulate shadows up until a scientist buys him. (Royality)

Falling Stars At My Command in which Roman wishes on a star and Patton reaps the benefits while Logan unfortunately gets dragged along for the ride. (Royality) 

Sugar in which Patton has three sons and no free time to bother with a relationship while he’s trying to manage bills. At least until Roman walks into his life. Sugar Daddy anyone? (Royality) 

A Man, a Snake, and a Rat in which Logan, Deceit, and Remus become college roomates (Intruloceit) 

a.s.h.es, ashes (We all fall down) in which after Logan almost dies during one of his recuse missions, him and his partner start to dig into the superhero agency they’re employed by and stumble into something far bigger than they expected. (Logicality, Prinxiety, LAMP? LAMP)

Keep him safe in which Detective Logan falls for the owner of his new favorite bakery while his partner Roman falls for the gang member they’re chasing. Ft: emotions, a pet rat, dealing with delusions 101, trauma, and family so gooey it literally makes me melt whenever it updates. I love this fic so much. (Advertises as Logicality and Prinxiety but theres so much LAMP I can’t not put it down here)

Multitudes in which Virgil works at a coffeeshop, pines over the customers that come in, and wonders why they all tip him so well. (LAMP)

Songbird in which the only thing keeping Virgil’s parents alive is his voice: the moment the (new) King gets tired of listening to him its off with all their heads. And Virgil’s okay with that, he is…. Until three visiting nobles leaving him wishing for his freedom for the first time since he was ten. (LAMP)

Shatter in which Logan gets fed up with not being listened to, and takes some poor advice from Rage, which ends with the entire Mindscape being turned upside down and inside out. Now its up to Deceit fix it all. (aka the author decided it was about high time Deceit got some love and appreciation and I’m out here living for it.) (DAMP)

Incredible Cosmic Power in which Virgil awakens some genies by accident and they refuse to let him go back to living a relatively normal peaceful life. (DLAMP)

Plea for my New Self in which Vampire Virgil decides he wants to start over again, and goes back to college to work on coding. There he proceeds to do reckless good with his absurd amount of wealth and a “fuck it” attitude. Actually one of my favorite things ever okay. I love this one so much. (DLAMP)

Your Wish Is My Command in which Thomas accidentally rubs six lamps and becomes the glorified babysitter to six jinn who definitely don’t trust him. But its fineeee. (DLAMP)

6 Dads in which Deceit, Emile, Remus, Roman, Thomas, and Remy make a relationship work and their children aren’t sure how but go along with it anyway.

Rebel Rebel in which Thomas, a well respected man, visits the Imagination, for some pleasure business as a one time thing. Except that he keeps coming back. Maybe maybe falls in love with one, two, thr– all of the men who work there. 

A New Kind of Experiment  in which Virgil runs away from home, and ends up kidnapped by merman, and somehow he doesn’t mind that much.

Becoming His Own Hero in which everyone has to juggle their superhero lives with their regular lives and sometimes…its just hard.

don’t wanna be a tragedy in which brothers Roman and Remus get a house and subsequently find out its totally, completely, 100% haunted.

Don’t You, Forget About Me in which the author recreates Breakfast club and does it spectacularly.

Heart’s Heroes in which Patton may be a villain but that does not mean he wants to see the child heroes of the city dead.

Mortals and Fae in which Deceit barely escapes the wrath of his town when they all turn against him. Dying, he stumbles into a fairy circle hoping that with his name the fae make his death short and sweet. Big Shock for him when he wakes up with a Fairy Prince swearing to protect him.

Sanders Family in which Thomas adopts six kids and has no regrets about it.

How Not to Go About an Important Inspection in which after a devastating betrayal the crew of the USS Bifrost is docked for repairs and the crew just wants to go back to being a normal family but Command is insisting on an inspection to ensure nothing so…drastic occurs again.

Symbiotic in which certain Vampires have a vemon that leaves with victims craving getting their blood drunken. Deceit, one of these Victims, continues to burn bridges because that’s easier than admitting he might need help dealing with this. 

[creambunnie]

Jaemin - 2 Lives

chapters; masterlist,1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10...

9;

"why don't you just break up with him? you don't even have feelings for him,right? unless....". Jeno asked after y/n had fully calmed down.

y/n sighed and shook her head. "no i still don't like him like that. it's just, it's difficult ok? i don't want to ruin our 18 years of friendship..".

Jaemin frowned at her answer. he was frustrated. with both Seungmin and y/n. Seungmin was just being a butthole and y/n was being dumb for staying in a clearly toxic relationship.

"y/n... sometimes, the people that you've known all your life may not be the ones that will stay forever. sometimes people that you've just met are those who will always be by your side.". Jaemin advised.

Jeno nodded, agreeing with his cousin. y/n sighed for nth time and stood up fron her seat.

"alright, just give me more time to think about it, okay?". y/n said and tried to close the topic about her and Seungmin.

Jaemin and Jeno stood up as well as they refrained themselves from arguing with y/n further.

"okay, why not we walk around the mall? my friend'a birthday is coming up and i gotta get something for her!". y/n suggested, in the attempt to live up the mood.

the two boys agreed and followed y/n as she checked out every shop there was.

Jeno groaned when all y/n did was touch some things and say "this is cute" but not even buying any of it.

Jaemin chuckled at his cousin's reaction but admired y/n for wanting the best for her friend's present.

"guys, i don't think i'm buying her present here.". y/n finally said after rounding the big mall for almost 2 hours.

Jeno looked at her as if he was gonna choke her. Jaemin quickly held him back and chuckled off her statement.

"alright, it's okay. we understand that you want the best for her, right?".

y/n grinned at Jeno and nodded cutely at Jaemin's words.

I got something to say, let's meet up

y/n's expression changed as soon as she heard the song. "wait... i know that voice!". she exclaimed as she ran to the railings.

Now we sit silent, facing each other

I keep thinking in my head

"it's day6! they are busking at level 1! let's go!". y/n half-screamed as she dragged the two boys to the floor where day6 was performing.

Should I say this or not

Although I don't want to

y/n squeezed throught the crowd with Jaemin and Jeno behind her. they were almost at the first row. y/n's eyes sparkled as she she saw her favourite band in real life for the first time.

I'd been holding on to you for so long

But now I must let go

There's nothing I can do for you

"i must tell this to Seung--". y/n cut herself off as she realised what she was about to blurt out. almost forgetting the complicated situation she was in.

There's nothing I can do for you

It's the only way to make you happy

So I let go, let go, let go

does she really have to let go of their precious friendship?

So you can smile someday

So you can be happy

so they both can smile and be happy while achieving their own dreams?

I remember our good times

The days of laughter and fun

people change, no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves .

Memories ever so precious

Fill up inside me

Although I don't want to

{Day6 - Letting Go}

without noticing, a tear flowed down her cheek. soon more tears followed suit. her soft sniff caught Jaemin's attention.

Jaemin's eyes widened as he saw her crying. Jaemin quickly held her shoulder and carressed her back.

"i just... am trying my best to keep the good past as my sweet memories as i move on with the future.". y/n whispered softly.

Jaemin gave a small smile and pulled y/n to face him. he cupped her face as he wiped her tears with his thumbs gently.

" Jeno and I will always be by your side. we will make more sweet memories together with you. you don't have to forget all the good times you've had with Seungmin. ".

y/n gave Jaemin a smile and nodded as she calmed down.

"now now,let's just enjoy your favourite band's performances okay? put the sad situation aside and deal with it later.". Jeno said as he patted y/n's head.

y/n agreed with Jeno and took her phone out to record one of the best moments of her life.

.

.

*snap* 📸

*snap* 📸

*snap* 📸

"hey, isn't that Seungmin's girlfriend? why is she with other guys? is she cheating on him?"

" tsk , she has a handsome boyfriend and yet she goes out with other handsome boys? such a playgirl."

.

.

From : Seungmin

-- hey, i know i've been hard on you these days. i am sorry. i really am. i hope you understand my side. why not we continue our rehearsal next Monday , after school? --

.

.

.

a/n : phewwww finally got chap 9 up!! now i can peacefully write other ideas i've been wanting to write!

hope you guys love the update!!

[jaex2]

Failing | Yoongi Imagine

I was listening to the song "I Wanna Know" by The Hunna and was instantly inspired to write this AU. It's such a bop, I encourage you all to listen!

Preview: You've been feeling neglected, and you're ready to give up. But, Yoongi doesn't give up easily.

Genre: Mafia/gang AU, some angst and fluff

Warnings: Nothing much, mentions of violence/drugs

****

You were fully aware things had not been going well the last 6 months. The gang had lost some valuable hideouts to rivals, a couple members defected, and some profit loss. When things aren't going the way Yoongi wanted them to, everyone around him paid the price. You couldn't remember how many people you've watched him verbally degrade and physically slap around.

You were lucky enough to have the prestigious position of being his girl, so he didn't do anything that drastic to you. It was more like...emotional warfare. He came to bed late, left early, and probably had only spoken two or three sentences to you recently. And they weren't exactly warm and fuzzy.

You didn't require much affection. You knew getting into this lifestyle you weren't going to get a boyfriend who brought you home roses and took you to nice restaurants. Those things didn't matter to you anyway. The only thing that did was him.

It was Friday evening at about 10pm when there was a light knock on your door.

"Come in?" You said hesitantly, confused who would be knocking on the door.

"Hey." Hoseok's voice rang out as he slid the door open.

"Oh, hey." You half smiled; it was really the best you had to give anyone these days.

"I hadn't seen you in a few days, I got nervous." He admitted sheepishly, standing in the door way.

"Yeah, I haven't wanted to be around anyone. Is Yoongi around?" You asked cautiously, though you knew the answer.

"He left around 7pm, saying he had to take care of something. Just took a couple guys and one of the cars." Hoseok shrugged, looking as defeated as you felt. He sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed next to you.

"Don't take it personally. I haven't seen him for more than five minutes in the 6 months." You replied.

"Wow, really?" Hoseok looked shocked. "I always figured you were his weak spot."

"I used to be, but I don't know whats happening. He doesn't speak to me, hell he doesn't even look at me if he sees me around the compound." You spat, clearly feeling the emotions you'd been shoving down rising up.

"You've never called it a compound before." Hoseok pointed out. Fine, technically it was a mansion. But it was the main base for the gang, as well as where you resided with Yoongi.

"I can't call it home. He's what makes it home. And he's not really here." You said. "I can't take it anymore."

If you were a crier you'd probably be crying, but this life had hardened you.

"I think I'm going to leave." You finally said.

"That's crazy, Y/N." Hoseok retorted, practically choking on his saliva.

"Is it? Would he even notice?" You replied, looking at him.

"Of course he would. And how would you even get out with all the guards? And where would you go?" Hoseok looked slightly panicked.

"Pretend you didn't talk to me tonight. You can't be liable for knowing information about me if I'm successful." You stated, standing up. "Just go."

Hoseok stood up with you, and stared at you hard for a few moments. "Don't do this to him."

"He's fine." You crossed your arms tightly.

"We both know he wouldn't be...It's just a phase." He tried to defend his best friend and boss.

"6 months isn't a phase! I was patient. The first few months, I figured he'd snap out of it. But it's been half a year. How much of my life am I supposed to spend being ignored by the man I love?" You asked softly, avoiding Hoseok's gaze.

Without another word, he nodded slightly and left your room. He couldn't bare the idea of saying goodbye and he was hoping you would calm down and change your mind.

You felt a moment of bravery after finally getting your feelings off your chest. You grabbed a bag out of the closet and starting shoving clothes into it. You couldn't think clearly on what you needed. You looked around the room frantically, trying to figure out what to take. Your head was so foggy with sadness and fear that you couldn't collect yourself enough to form a plan.

The door crashing open caused you to jump and drop the bag, spinning to face the bedroom door.

"Y/N." Yoongi said flatly, looking down at the bag.

You swallowed hard and couldn't find words to spit out. What were you going to say? You were caught red handed.

His eyes never left the bag.

"What are you doing?" He asked, low and stern. Still not meeting your eyes.

You started to stutter out an answer but he cut you off.

"You...were going to leave me?" His eyes snapped up to meet yours. He tilted his head to the side, and waited for an answer, no emotions on his face.

"Yes." You answered, regaining your composure. You straightened your shoulders and stared him down confidently. Now wasn't the time to come off weak.

To your surprise, he chuckled lightly. You watched him carefully.

He grabbed the picture frame off the table next to the door and threw it, the sound of the glass shattering made you jump.

"Yoongi..." You warned, trailing off.

"It's been almost three years, and you're going to leave over a rough patch?!" He shouted, and you were sure the whole compound could hear him.

"A rough patch!?" You yelled back, your fiery spirit matching his. "It's been 6 months! How long did you expect me to deal with this shit?"

"Deal with what?! You live comfortably. You don't have to work. You have more money then most people ever see in their life." He explained, exasperated, fists balled up at his sides.

"Well, I don't care about any of those things! All I wanted was you to love me!" You screamed at him.

He span around and punched the wall behind him. You heard a crack, presumably his knuckles, but he didn't falter. He leaned his forehead against the wall and punched it one more time. When he retracted it you could see the blood dripping down his fingers.

"All of this...because you think I don't love you?" He whispered. He turned around and there were tears in his eyes. You had never seen Yoongi cry. You don't think anyone had.

You swallowed all the mean things you had to spit out the moment you saw tears dripping down his cheeks.

"Why do you think I've been so absent? It's because I was failing, Y/N. I was failing you and everyone that relies on me. How could I face you when everything I promised could've been lost? I put my head down and went to work to preserve our future. I'm sorry that that was uncomfortable for you, even though I was the one risking my life day in and day out so some day I would be able to look you in the eye again!" He shouted, stepping towards you, grabbing your face with his hands. "Those were all things out of love for you, whether you're strong enough to acknowledge it or not." He growled, his face inches from yours.

You breathed out, locking eyes with him. "You could've included me! I would've been there for you." You exclaimed, wrapping your hands around his wrists and pulling them off your cheeks.

"I had to do a lot of dangerous things. You think I was going to put you in harms way just so you could feel needed?" He spat. "That's immature thinking. I did what I did to protect you. And if you hate me for that, that's fine. At least I know I kept you safe." He sighed in defeat, his tear stained face making your breath catch in your throat.

Everything about you wanted to be angry and stand your ground...

You opened your mouth to speak, but he beat you to it.

"Do you know what I'd have to do if I ever lost you?" He asked, stepping towards you once more, but keeping his hands to himself.

You hesitated before speaking. "...tell me."

He reached for your hand and took it in both hands.

"I'd have to destroy everything that reminded me of you. I'd burn this place down." He looked up at you, the connection you two had always had making itself known with a gravitational pull you couldn't resist. You took your free hand and grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him to you, crashing your lips together. He immediately responded, grabbing your face and deepening the kiss. Every emotion you felt in the last half of a year poured into the kiss. It was rough, needy, passionate. He pulled away and inhaled.

"Yoongi. You need to either live life with me by your side, or spend the rest of your life wondering where I am. I'm not asking you to drag me into every fight and drug deal. But you made me strong. You toughened me up. So embrace it, and let me be with you." You explained, hoping your words didn't fall on deaf ears.

He stared deeply in your eyes, before exhaling slowly.

"Fine." He agreed stubbornly. "You don't get to leave, then." He huffed, crossing his arms. You giggled, you knew you are the only one who ever saw him with his guard down.

He reached out a hand to you, and you obliged, giving him your hand. As soon as he did, he pulled you towards him and wrapped one arm around your waist, and the other hand resting on the back of your head.

"How did you know I was packing?" You asked into his chest.

"Hoseok is my best friend, not yours." His chest rumbled with a chuckle.

"Damn it."

[aria-laughs]

Real talk..(needed to vent, feel free to not read this if you don't like long rants)

When i was 11 years old i had already been through my fair share of crap. Coming from a "broken" home with little money, a depressed mother and an absent father. At that time i remember being bullied as a biproduct of my sister stoping one of her classmates (a 13 year old girl) from traveling half accross the contry to meet her 19 year old boyfriend who she'd met online for the first time.. under the pretence that she was traveling to visit my dad with my big sister. This all ended with the police stoping the train and picking the girl up before she reached her destination and everyone didn't have to suffer through the ordeal with a minor being raped or worse by a yound adult in a strange city..anyway. when the summer ended and we (me and my two siblings) gor back home, all these rumors spread about us and school became tricky. I got used to it tho, i had my friends and i quickly learned to keep close to teachers whenever i was alone. At the home front my mom became sick and the kids got a lot of grown up responsibilities. It was okay too.. kids get used to a lot, and today im a wizz in the kitchen and i clean with the best of them.

My mother had a temper, and would hit us when we did something wrong. I remember trying to cover for my siblings as much as possible, trying to shield them from the worst of it. Don't get me wrong, i LOVE my mother. She's been through hell and her sroty is worse than anything i've ever heard of. I understand what happened when i grew up and i love her because she allways did her best.. but i haven't forgiven her for making my home unsafe. At 11 years old one of my teachets notised that i had a hard time with my schoolwork. They couldn't get me to focus on my work and i was distracted by anything. I remember the letters mixing up as i read, and it became impossible to do my homework because no one could see the letters moving like i could. The teached contacted my mom and my stepfather and told them he'd talk to a specialist about me maybe having ADHD. The next week my mom dropped me off at the specialist and i got tested in every subject known to man. As usuall i exelled at language, history and music. But everything else was a bit off, i remember hearing him telling my mom that it couldn't be HDHD because my memory was too good. But refered her to a doctor for more tests. The ordeal took another week before my mother came to pick me up at lunch one day and told me we had to go to the hospital.

I had a thyroid condition that firsly was almost non-exsistent, and secoundly was unheard of in someone my age. They took blood, and sent me to get an MR and CT. When all the tests came back, we got the good news that i wouldn't die if they treated it quickly. But since i was still waiting for normal bodyparts to arrive, and hadn't gone through puberty yet.. he had no idea where to start. I don't remember the name of the medication, but i remember taking 15 a day. 5 in the morning, 5 when i got home from school and 5 before bed. I took them and 39 minutes later i was sprinting to the bathroom puking my guts out. This obviously didn't work in the long run and by the end of it i was so skinny you could see my teeth through my cheeks. They changed my meds and i stopped with the hurling. Instead i gained about 30 kg in the first 6 months and looked like a beach ball on legs. And as a kid being bullied, this wasn't that fun. Let me remind you that this had been going on for a while and tho my mom did what she could.. the was depressed and didn't see how bad it got for me and all the responsibilities i had at home made me dissapear in the day-to-day of it all. Alone and scared as the bullying became physical I panicked and stoped taking my meds, and all my symptoms came back. I would sleep for 14 hours and wake up exhausted. I'd go full days without getting hungry and i'd get moodswings and get real clumsy. My family got used to this and the symptoms stoped being symptoms and started being "just me".

So now i'd wake up and have to care for my siblings, go to school without lunch for myself because i had to make it for my siblings, or forgetting to shower because i had to remind my brother to do it. I get off the buss and get my ass kicked on my way to the classroom. Some days i'd get through it and come home to start dinner for my family, and other times the bullying sent me to the ER to get stitched up (i didn't have to make dinner on those days). This happened often enough that the doctor knew me by my first name, and instead of "how did you hurt yourself?) I'd get "Again!? When the nurses came to get me. One day i slept for 16 hours and my mother confronted me about my weightloss and asked if i'd been taking my meds. I came clean and a few hours at the doctors office and one frustrating car ride later. I'd promissed to take my pills again, but by that point i had ruined my body enough to never get better. So at 15 years old the doctors decided that they'd treat my thyroid with radioactive iodine. This worked great and killed the thyroid gland, making me dependend on meds for the rest of my life.

For anyone who don't know, the thyroid gland is responsible for your bodys metabolism. This means everything... your metabolism is a part of every funktion of every organ in your entire body, tho we usually think about how fast you burn fat because this is what we see on the outside.

We did our best, and we got through it. I had a safe place with my best friend and his family. And i'd escape there as often as i could. His mother would remind me to take my meds, she'd let me shower at their place and when she realised that i never ate at school she started packing lunch for me to send with her son every day.

I don't think i'd survive and be the person i am today without them. I remember the day i finally told them what was going on at home when i grew up, at this point i had grown up and moved away from home. I had started opening up to people i trusted and understood the power of talking about my problems. i never ment it as a "why didn't you see".. im thankful for my life, even the bad pars, but i needed them to know how much they saved me. To understand how much i love them all. I'll keep their reactions to myself, but i'll tell you that i have never felt more treasured in my life.

I was 22 years old the first time someone told me that I never deserved the abuse at home. I was 25 years old when i told my mother i forgave her for the physical stuff, but that i couldn't forgive her for stealing my feeling of home and safety. And i was today years old when i wrote it down for anyone to see.

I've been taking my meds for about 17 years now, but I have yet to actually get a normal metabolism. My last stunt was that i suddenly didn't need that much medicine so my metabolism speed up to lifethreatening speed and i had to endure panic attacks, dizziness, lack of consentration and shaking so bad that i almost quit school and almost sent me into a brainfailure (yes thats a thing) over the summer. My doctors paniced and reduced my meds so much that i didn't get nearly enough. This ended with me loosing weight, not eating, shaking, being sick and passing out all over the place, and almost sent me into a life threatening coma as my body overcompensated for the loss of thyroid hormones. My dad said something i've never heard my family say before. We were eating dinner last weekend and i was having a bad day when he told me "its painful to watch you struggle like this". And i almost cried, this was the first time in forever that a parent told me that they see me. And now i'm finally starting to get back to where im used to.

I have skipped a lot of stuff that happened. Some things i don't think i'll ever talk about, and some things that are too personal or too painful or too stupid to write down. But i needed to work through the new stuff, to reflecr back and to realise how close i came to loosing my life again this year. How lucky i am that i not only held on for dear life, but that with all the crap i felt. All the sickness and panic and everything. I managed to finish this semester at school. I managed to survive again, and im 6 months away from reaching my goal of allways being able to help when im needed. I am so proud of myself for getting to where i am today. And im so thankful!!

[harryfreakinstyles2]

Torn (Part 1) H.S.

The sunlight is streaming through the curtains and gleaming off the vinyl flooring of my apartment while I try to force myself to roll out of bed. My alarm is screaming at me for the tenth time this morning. My eyes strain against the intrusion of light as I reach for my phone on the nightstand to stop the ringing in my ears from that damn alarm. I glance at the text on my screen from my best friend that I must have received after passing out around one am last night while trying to finish my essay.

Julie is almost the complete opposite of me in every way. She's unorganized and scatter brained and way more adventurous than I will ever be. But she also makes our little two-bedroom apartment feel like home even with the dirty dishes she leaves in the sink and as crazy as she drives me, I would honestly be lost without her.

Me: You know I had that essay to finish! But it sounds like you had fun like usual! I might have to join you next time! We'll see! Lol

I text back and head to the bathroom to hop in the shower before class. I turn the water on and wait impatiently for it to heat up, my tiny bathroom becomes filled with steam as the hot water helps wake me from my zombie state and relaxes my muscles. I'm dreading class this morning. My stupid elective class I took because I figured it would be an easy A to fill in the extra credits I need to graduate in May, but I am starting to realize that the easy A might not be worth the painful boredom of sitting in that stupid class twice a week. I hurry along getting ready as the morning is rushing by faster than I realized and soon I'm running out the door praying I have time to get coffee on the way.

*

I stick my key in the lock of my apartment door still sipping on my iced coffee. I feel mentally drained after having to put so much energy into staying awake in class, luckily it's the only class I have on Thursdays. I can smell the scrambled eggs as soon as I walk into the apartment. Julies favorite hangover food, I will never understand how that girl can go out so much during the week and still go to work and finish all her school.

I walk into the kitchen and I laugh to myself while taking in Julies disheveled appearance, the aftermath of her late night out.

"Shut up", She groans glaring at me from her spot in front of the stove.

"I'm sorry, but you look pathetic" I laugh again not being able to hold in my amusement.

"Don't be a bitch, you're just jealous that I had a blast last night while all you did was write a paper all damn night." Julie snaps at me but I can see the hint of a smile on her face.

"Alight alright" I say with my hands up in surrender not wanting to actually piss her off. I pull a barstool out from under the counter and take a seat across from her.

"I was serious when I said you are coming out with us this weekend" she huffs, "We are going to this cool hipster club that just opened down the road. It is going to be a lot of fun. And I'm not giving you a choice, so tomorrow night, we'll head out around ten." Her words rush out fast. I am assuming it's so I won't have the chance to interrupt her and make an excuse of why I will not be doing anything of the sort. I roll my eyes when she turns back around to flip her eggs.

"I really don't want to... It's been a long week between work and school and all I want to do is sit on the couch and watch a movie." I groan at my relentless best friend. This is her third attempt in the past two weeks to try and get me to go out.

"Allie, you're 21, not 81. Would you please stop being so lame and just come out with us!" She pleads with me, "It'll be fun I swear!"

"Ughhhhh fine but if I hate it and get bored then I'm coming back home!" I say giving in but still hating the idea.

"Fine fine! Ahhhh yay!! It's going to be great!" Julie excitedly jumps up and down like she is twelve and are moms said yes to a sleep over on a school night. Finally she stops, leaving her dark brown hair messier than it was before, if that is even possible. I try my best not to laugh at her again.

"Alright I'm going to go to my room for a bit before I have to go to work at 6. Do you work tonight?" I ask. Her work schedule is constantly changing every week I can never keep up.

"Yea unfortunately, I wanna call out but I can't because I have tomorrow night off to go out and I actually need to make some money for a change." She says with a groan.

"Okay then I'll see you tomorrow! Be sure to put on your best fake smile and maybe brush your hair or something or you won't be getting very many tips tonight" I tease her as I walk to my room. I turn around just in time to see her middle finger raised in the air at me with a smile on her face.

*

My evening shift at the local coffee shop blurs by as the hipster kids and sorority girls shuffle in and out throughout the evening. I found I was convincing myself that going out tomorrow night is exactly what I need to get out of this comfortable rut I have found myself in the past few months. With graduation about three months away I should probably have some actual fun before my college days come to an end even though night clubs are not exactly my idea of fun.

*

I wake to a loud pounding on my bedroom door. "Allie!!! Get up! We have to pick out an outfit for you for tonight! I have to leave for work soon! Get up! We won't have time later!" Julie continues banging on my door.

"Ugh, Jules! Give me like 10 minutes!" I groan back at my annoying best friend. She insisted last night that she had to pick out an outfit for me because I don't know what a proper "club outfit" is.

Ten minutes later I've brushed my teeth and changed into some shorts and a t-shirt. I open my bedroom door to find Julie sitting impatiently at the counter with a cup of coffee.

"Okay, come on in and let's get this over with." I say to her rolling my eyes. This is not what I want to be doing at nine am.

"Oh stop being so dramatic." Julie mumbles at me as she walks past me and into my room.

I follow behind her and sit on my bed as she starts to dig through my closet for her version of an acceptable outfit for this evening.

"Okay, so we want something sexy but also comfortable. Maybe some skinny jeans and a cute tank top. Or even a jean skirt," she says excitedly.

"Sexy. Really. You know I can't pull off sexy." I mumble at her. Does she honestly think I can be sexy. She has definitely lost it. In the thirteen years she has known me I have never been sexy. I don't even own anything that could be considered sexy.

"Yes, sexy. You have the curves all you're missing is the attitude Al."

I don't have the first clue on how to come off as sexy, but I have a feeling Julie is going to teach me. This was such a bad idea. I can already tell that tonight is going to be a disaster.

Twenty minutes later I'm standing in front of my closet staring at myself in the floor length mirror in one of Julies jean skirts that rests nicely on my hips and stops a few inches above my knees and only makes me slightly uncomfortable. She has paired her jean skirt with one of my low-cut white tank tops and a pair of short strappy black heels. Lucky for me it has been a warm winter and it only gets into the mid-sixties right now at night here in Georgia. Especially considering Julie told me I am not allowed to wear the gray cardigan I tried to put over the tank top.

"So? What do you think?" Julie asks me while I stare at myself in the mirror. She's beaming, obviously proud of her work.

"Umm I like the outfit, but I'm not sure," I mumble.

She rolls her dark brown eyes at me, "Allie, you look hot trust me. You just have to own it. That is the key to being sexy, it is all about the confidence."

"Alright," I try to say with a sense of confidence, but my voice betrays me and I sound even more unsure than before.

"Shit, I have to go I am going to be late for work" Julie says as she rushes out of my room. "You look amazing! I will be back in time for us to do our hair and makeup before we leave! See you later girlie!" She yells to me before she slams the front door closed behind her.

I let out a breath I didn't notice I was holding as I look at myself once more in the mirror. My chest fills the tank top nicely threatening to overflow because of the pushup bra Julie forced me to wear even though she knows I hate wearing it because it makes my boobs look even bigger than they already are. She doesn't understand that problem seeing as she barely has any boobs. The tight tank top paired with the fitted jean skirt shows off my tiny waist and curvy hips. The jean skirt goes down just far enough to cover my full upper thighs. Overall I don't hate the outfit as much as I expected to, if I wear my long blonde hair down and maybe curl it a little I think I might be able to pull it off.

I groan staring at myself in the mirror one last time before collapsing onto my bed. I have no idea what to expect tonight I haven't been out since my freshman year. Even though Julie will be there I can already see myself sitting in the corner the whole night. I hope the night won't be a complete disaster. At least all our friends will be there and I can catch up with Emily. I push away the anxiety as I hang my outfit for tonight back up and head to take a shower.

I'm sitting on the couch buckling the straps of my black heels as Julie walks out of her room looking like a Victoria Secret model in her tight dress that leaves little to the imagination. She spent an hour doing my hair and make up after she got home from work and I spent most of that hour telling her to tone it down. It has always been that way with us. She is the one who wears full make up and heels almost everyday and I am the one who forces myself to put on eyeshadow every now and again and wears converse as much as possible. But somehow we always seem to balance each other out, she helps me step out of my comfort zone and I keep her from being arrested.

"See this is why I don't go out with you!" I grumble at her.

"What are you talking about? I didn't even do anything!" Julie says defensively while grabbing her matching clutch off the kitchen counter.

“You didn't have to, you just come out looking like that and when I stand next to you I look like a freakin sack of potatoes!"

"Are you kidding me!?! Look at you! I wish I had those curves! We both look great and we are ending the conversation there." Julie says annoyed at my comment.

"Whatever." I mumble back.

"You are not going to start this night pouting, so get over yourself and let's go the Uber is ready downstairs!" she says sternly. Julie is the kind of person who has no problem telling you how it is, she has been that way ever since we were kids.

The Uber ride to the club lasted barely five minutes leaving just enough time for my stomach to get queasy with nerves. The car comes to a stop in front of a building littered with people stumbling in and out of the doors. Julie says a rushed 'thank you!' to the Uber driver as she pulls me out of the car behind her.

"Come on! Everyone else is already inside!" she says as she pulls me along after her and into the crowded building. I glance at my phone it is now ten o'clock, I will stay till at least midnight and then leave I decide.

The room is so dark it is hard to see the faces of the strangers as we shove our way through the crowd to find our group of friends waiting for us. There is a slight stench of smoke in the air and my heels stick to the floor just enough for me to notice. I hate this already. Julie is aggressively pushing her way through the overly friendly crowd of strangers. I decide that my best bet is to stare at the back of her head and follow closely behind her so I don't get lost. Suddenly Julie does a high pitch squeal letting me know she has found our friends. Our usual group of friends are standing around a high top table toward the back corner of the club. There's Maya, who Julie and I met in freshman English. Julie gets along with her better than I do because they have similar personalities and Maya will go out with her any day of the week where I will not. Then there is Dylan the common frat boy with the perfect hair and teeth, wearing his usual khaki pants and button up shirt. Maya and Dylan have been dating for a little over a year now. Next to the already drunk Dylan is his best friend Sam. Sam is in the same frat as Dylan and despite being best friends, Sam is sweet, polite, and funny unlike Dylan who is usually obnoxious. Sam is much more attractive than Dylan with his light brown hair cut short and his muscular arms looking perfectly tanned in his white button up. On the other side of the table there is Tabitha and Emily. Tabitha and Maya have known each other since middle school so they are really close similar to Julie and I. Wherever Maya is, Tabitha is usually close by. I get along best with Emily out of the three girls. She is quieter than the others and although she has no problem going out and having a good time she has a lot of other priorities she is focused on as school is coming to an end. We tend to sit and talk whenever we are all hang out while everyone else is drinking and goofing off.

"No way! Allie you actually came!?!" Maya says too dramatically bringing the attention of the whole group to me. "I mean Julie said you were coming but I thought she was just joking!" Maya continues with an annoying giggle and I force myself not to roll my eyes at her.

"Good to see you too Maya. Can someone point me in the direction of the bar please." I say to hopefully change the topic. I am going to definitely need a drink to get me through this night.

"I was just about to go get myself a drink if you wanna come with me?" Sam offers with a smirk making me blush like always.

"That would be great! Thanks," I say with a smile.

Sam is quiet most of the time but he is charming. And he is one of those guys who is absolutely gorgeous and has no idea.

Julie rushes over to the girls and the giggling starts instantly as Sam and I walk away from the group.

We make it to the bar with Sam only having to guide me past one group of drunk guys. Even with heels on I am still quite short making navigating the crowded club difficult as I can't see where I'm going. I order my usual crown apple and sprite, and try to refuse when Sam wants to pay for my drink but ultimately he wins as he hands the bartender cash and walks away with me following behind.

"So are you as ready for graduation as I am?" Sam awkwardly starts conversation over the loud club music as we make our way back to our group of friends. This was the usual with Sam. For a guy who is this attractive and has girls falling all over him, he always comes off awkward when we try and talk.

"Yeah I'm so excited, but also incredibly nervous. There is too many decisions still left to make," I awkwardly laugh.

"I get that. You would think that since we are finally finishing we would be less stressed out not more," Sam says with laugh.

I turn to respond catching his blue eyes, leaving me speechless. I am saved as we arrive at the table and Sam is greeted by Tabitha begging him to dance with her. She clearly already had a few drinks and Sam is too sweet to say no.

The night feels like it is dragging on forever. I'm not having a bad time but there is definitely other things I would rather be doing and on top of that Julie seems to be in a crap mood for some unknown reason so she is not making the night any better for me. It has been about an hour and a half and I've had three drinks making me just tipsy enough that my nerves have vanished.

"Jules I really have to pee!" I whine at her again.

"Okay okay, just give me a minute," She says staring at her phone.

"I've been waiting like ten. Just point me in the direction of the bathroom. I will just go by myself," I say back irritated as I sway back and forth to help with my urgent need to pee.

"Okay fine, go towards the bar and to the left," She instructs me without look away from her phone. I am trying not to get annoyed at her but she begged me to come out and has barely said two words to me since we got here.

"Thank you!" I say dragging the words out dramatically.

I make it to the bathroom without any issues to my surprise considering the three drinks I have had and the crowd seeming to have grown in the last hour. Luckily there is only one girl in line and I don't have to wait long. I wash my hands and check my make up in the mirror surprised it still looks almost perfect. I walk out of the bathroom and reach down pulling the hem of my skirt further down my legs as I walk.

"Ugh fuck!" I mumble as I collide with something solid and liquid pours down my skirt and legs.

"Oh shit! Sorry!" I hear a thick English accent respond.

I look up to find bright green eyes staring directly into mine. They are slightly covered by a mop of beautiful dark brown curls. His eyes stay locked on mine so intently that I have to look away so he can't see me blush under his gaze.

"It's fine. It was my fault I wasn't paying attention." I say faster than I intended as I wipe at my skirt.

"Wait a minute, let me uhh...." the handsome stranger starts to say as he looks around and then disappears and reappears with a rag from the bar.

"Here, I'm really sorry," He says again holding his hand out to me with the rag in it.

I take a second to glance at the tattoos covering most of his left arm. Quickly dragging my attention back to the liquid running down my legs I grab the rag hoping he didn't notice my staring. I wipe at the remainder of whatever he had in his cup off my legs and look up to find him staring again.

"Thanks," I mumble quietly despite the loud music as I hand him back the rag. My cheeks feel like they are burning, partially from the alcohol in my system and partially from his staring.

“The least I could do. I'm Harry," He says with a smile revealing large dimples in his cheeks while holding out his empty right hand for me to shake. I stare at his outstretched hand for a minute before grabbing it.

"Allie, nice to meet you. Sort of," I say returning his smile and taking his hand in mine. His large hand makes mine feel even smaller.

"Allie." he repeats with a smirk. His accent making it sound beautiful while his eyes continue to stare into mine making my stomach flutter. I am so happy I downed that third drink or his stare alone would have made me a mumbling mess by now.

[marshmallowatheart]

To All The Boys I've Loved Before (Part 22)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21)

Dear Veronica,

I don't mind dancing when I'm dancing with you. We should do it again sometime.

Good luck on the game today, not that you need it.

Go get 'em, bobcat.

- L

She grins, a big dopey grin; it felt silly how happy a little piece of paper could make her. But it does, it makes her really happy.

She's so distracted by the note that she's taken completely by surprise when someone bumps into her in the middle of the quad and knocks off her books from her hand. She shoots the guy a look of annoyance but he's already blended into the crowd.

Sighing, she bends down to pick it up and then another pair of hands are helping her. She looks up and sees him; Duncan Kane.

She swallows hard, she hates that her nerves are acting up around him again.

"Hey," he offers her a smile, handing her back her textbooks. "Can we talk?"

She stands back up, straightens her posture, meets his blue eyes and nods. "Walk me to my locker?" She asks and he immediately agrees.

There's so much between them but he's foregone any commentary on it in favour of talking about his senior year and it's confusing to her that he's bypassed it all and just decided to be casual about everything now that they've already made a mess of things.

She doesn't know what to say, so she nods and agrees and gives her two cents comments because if he's being casual then she can be casual.

"Everything feels so messed up and confusing lately," he says finally once they're at her locker and she takes in a breath. "All I really know is that I miss my friend and I'd like to have her back in my life, if she'll have me?"

He's leaning against the locker beside her and she's busy with transferring the books in her hand to her locker. And she never expected their reconciliation to be like this but she gives him a smiles and nods, "Of course, Duncan."

"Good," he sighs out in relief. "I'm still worried about you and Logan," he says and she has this incessant niggling feeling in her stomach since he started taking that's gotten stronger the moment he's mentioned Logan's name. "You know he still comes over?"

She freezes momentarily, her heart stops at the implied thoughts and she has to force herself to move, to breathe.

She swallows, desperate for air, and slowly continues to fiddle with the contents of her locker. Her shook heart now beating rapidly against her chest and she tries to calm down.

Everything with Logan felt so natural, so good, almost perfect that a part of herself pretended it was more than just friendship and a fake relationship.

She should have said something to Logan, she should have told him to stop being so nice to her, to stop touching her, to stop giving her notes, to stop caring about her and Heather and everything in her life; to stop making it so easy for her to fall in love with him.

How could she think that Logan had only spent time with her? Lilly's the one he wants. Of course, they were still in contact. Lilly's half the point of their fake relationship.

"He was there on Saturday and I'm pretty sure they still talk on the phone with each other," Duncan continues, the disdain clear in his voice.

Saturday. She doesn't know how to explain the gut wrenching feeling that's wearing her down. She remembers Lilly's mockery and Lilly's invitation to be friends - because Lilly and Logan were still friends, of course they were. She still hasn't mentioned it to Logan because there was no way she wanted to be on a double date with Lilly. There was no way she thought that he'd wanted to be on that date. Was there?

"Yeah, they're still friends," she answers, tight smile and clenched jaw.

"You're okay with that?" Duncan's clearly surprised and disapproving. She knows he wants what's best for her but she knows what she got herself into and Logan's helped her so she's going to help him - even if it breaks her heart.

"I trust Logan," she says and it tastes strange on her tongue now that she's given this unsettling information about him and Lilly but she needs Duncan to believe she's in a happy and fulfilling relationship even if Logan's actions prove otherwise.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt by Logan," he says gently.

She nods her head, understanding the concern but she doesn't feel appreciation for it. She feels upset, she feels betrayed and she feels heartbroken but she doesn't feel like she has any right to be because Logan hasn't promised her anything and she's known that from the start, so why did she let herself be in this position only to get hurt again when all along this was what she was trying to protect herself from?

Duncan's still waiting for her answer and she wants to say Logan won't hurt her and she knows that's true - Logan's given her everything she's signed up for and more - but in a few weeks or maybe even days she's going to look like a fool for ever saying it.

"I won't be," she assures him.

Duncan nods, his eyes lingering just over her shoulder and then she feels strong arms wrap around her sides, holding her tightly against him.

"Hey, Sugarpuss," he whispers just loud enough for Duncan to hear and drops a kiss onto her temple. He looks at the boy in front of them, smirks and says, "Hey man, how's it going?"

Duncan gives him a nod, "Alright, man. Well, I gotta go, don't wanna be late for bio. Catch you later, Ronica." He waves her off and takes his leave.

"So you and Duncan are talking again?" Logan asks, casual tone but looks at her intently, he's loosened his hold on her enough for her to turn and look at him but his hands are still holding onto her waist.

"Yeah," she bobs her head. "We are." She feels tense, agitated and moves away from his hold on her.

He blinks, surprised. He's been holding her a lot recently, touching her every chance he gets and she's never actively moved away from him before. She's even been initiating some of those touches, hugs and cheek kisses.

So he doesn't understand why she's distancing herself from him all of a sudden. His eyes drift back to where Duncan once once and he thinks that maybe he does.

He swallows the anxiousness he feels at her actions and bobs his head like she had seconds ago. "Cool, cool."

He doesn't know why he expected Duncan to never reappear in Veronica's life. Maybe a part of him wished Duncan would sulk in a corner and never show his face again.

"So," she lets out and he's trying to look her in the eye but she keeps avoiding his gaze. "Uhm, I totally forgot about this but you know how Lilly and I are working the band competition project together?"

He nods his head, taking her hand because the bell is about to ring and he's made walking her to class on his list of boyfriendly duties. He feels her tense but he doesn't let go and he finds some relief in the fact that she doesn't either.

"So I forgot about it but last Saturday she invited us out on a double date. With her and her boyfriend."

"Lilly wants to double date?" He frowns. He remembers last Saturday, he'd gone to her house and he'd told her explicitly that they were done romantically. He'd be there for her as her friend but that's it.

There's no denying that he'd loved Lilly but he's always known that she didn't love him the same way. And he didn't believe that he deserved to be loved unconditionally either.

But then Veronica happened. Her letter was filled with childhood memories and unreserved emotions that were just for him so raw and unattached to any expectations. She called him out on things he's never paid attention to and she saw past his facade even then - she saw the real him. (She did back then when they were twelve and she still does now).

Lilly wanted him as who he showed the world and Logan's realized that that wasn't a person he wanted to be.

He knows that Lilly's upset that Veronica's gotten so close to him in such a short time and he'd felt so frustrated because she'd gotten a boyfriend first.

The thing was that before Veronica, he wanted Lilly back even though she had someone else and had only told him after. Then he saw her at the car wash where she looked so damned cheerful and happy - the complete opposite of him. And then all he felt was resignation. He knew in that moment that Lilly and him were over for good.

"Yeah," Veronica says, her voice quite and tensed. "I mean it'd be a chance for you to get her back, right? See what she's been missing."

He feels his body grow still at her words. "Dinner with my ex and her new boyfriend, how does that sound like a good idea?"

It's scary to him that the idea of Veronica actively pushing him to Lilly is worse than the idea of having dinner with Lilly and whoever she'd left him for.

"If you can spend the night pretending you don't care about that then it'll probably drive her crazy."

He wants to tell her that it will definitely drive her crazy but he doesn't care anymore. Only he doesn't know how to say that to her now that he knows Duncan's back in her life the way she wanted without freaking her out and inevitably losing her completely so he takes a breath and lets out, "Okay."

Her body is stiff and she hates that she feels so wrecked over Logan's simple okay but she tries to push it down and repeats, "Okay."

[theflowergirl]

I've been wanting to ask this of you for quite sometimes but never did. Can you recommend me some anime? I've been away from anime world for quite sometimes. I want to start watching anime again but I just don't know what to watch. I need to make a list of anime to check out later. Thanks Lily :)

I feel like I’ve been waiting for this question my whole life. Melodramatic queen.

I say this as I haven’t been keeping up with anime seasons since 2015, but I’m still an anime fan so let’s go for a few recs!

Akatsuki no Yona / Yona of the Dawn

I’m starting with this one because I noticed you mean to start it so I’ll just convince you to go for it, lol. Yona is a good transition for someone who has been watching mostly kdrama/cdrama because the scenario is very reminiscent of Korea and the magic aspects can appeal to wuxia fans.

The plot? Oh, the sageuk feels. Sheltered princess Yona’s best friend/first love murders her father to become King, and Yona is forced to flee the palace to save her own life. Together with her other childhood friend and guardian, Son Hak, Yona sets out to find allies who can help her reclaim her throne - and the dragons from legend who will pledge their lives to her.

It’s wonderful to watch Yona grow. She doesn’t know much of anything, of the world, of battle, but she adapts, and boy, does she adapt.

Chills.

Natsume Yuujinchou

Natsume is basically my life. At this point in time, Natsume has gathered 6 seasons and if you think that would have lessened its quality, you’d be wrong. It’s still just as touching, universal and magnificent as it was 9 years ago.

High school student Natsume Takashi can see spirits. This has ruined his life since he was a child because everyone is afraid of him, and without parents, Natsume goes back and forth between relatives who don’t want the hassle of raising such a problematic child. Natsume discovers his grandmother, Natsume Reiko, had the same powers as he did and went around making contracts with spirits and collecting their names in a single book called the Yuujinchou - the Book of Friends. He also releases a powerful spirit called Madara - who usually hides in the form of a fat cat.

What makes Natsume so different from all other “boy can see spirits” anime is that it’s very… soft. Natsume could have been a hateful, traumatized child but he’s kind. He will always stop to help, he will always smile, no matter how painfulk it is for him to do so. It is no exaggeration to say I’ve cried in every episode because, well, I have. It shows so many different human emotions, so many connections, lost love, lost friendships, and relationships that can also never be broken. It’s beautiful and poingnant and you will not regret the hours spent on it.

Tiger & Bunny

This is the point where my anime friends, if they see this list, will be laughing loudly and saying, “Yep, that’s Lily, all right”. Because I was obnoxiously loud about T&B in 2011 and I’m still loud about it now.

Do you like super-heroes? Are you tired of anime set in high school? Do you want to see characters struggling to find the essence of what makes them what they are, to find what they truly want to be? Do you like stories of revenge, of trauma, of manipulation, of betrayal? T&B has got your back.

In a world where being a super-hero is a job and some humans called NEXT have developed powers, our veteran protagonist, Kotetsu Kaburagi aka Wild Tiger, in order to cover up for his multiple fuck-ups, is forced to form the first ever super-hero duo with newcomer Barnaby Brooks Jr. The worst thing? Barnaby has the same NEXT powers as Kotetsu - the Hundred Power, a power-up that makes enhances all their abilities a hundred-fold for the span of 5 minutes. Can Kotetsu and Barnaby learn to work together? Can Barnaby discover the truth behind his parents’ murder?

T&B is exciting with great characters and a breath of fresh air for anime fans that have been long tired of being fed the same tropes. So go watch it and join me in my cry for a second season!

Akagami no Shirayukihime

So, let’s say you’re a fairy tale fan. What if I told you Snow White is a herbalist who flees her country to escape the unwanted attention of a spoiled prince, only to fall in the graces of a better, handsome, kind and brave prince who offers her a place in his own country, where she can hone her abilities and use them for good?

That’s the premise of Akagami no Shirayukihime, or Snow White With The Red Hair. If you’re a fan of romance, this is a huge treat. Not only is Shirayuki an icon - telling princes off, doing her own thing, refusing to accept bullshit, but Zen Wisteria, her prince, is so dreamy, exactly the kind of prince you’ve ever wanted to meet. The sweet development of their relationship and Shirayuki’s ascension inside the court is a treat to see, and every character grows inside your heart. This is a must watch.

This is growing huge so I’ll just drop some titles for your consideration now lmao. I stan every single one of them 💕

Aoi Hana (girls loving girls, in the most realistic, human way)

Barakamon (conceited adult makes a huge mistake and is thrown off to live in an island and repent; there, he befriends all the islanders and, especialy, the children)

Chihayafuru (hitting cards off the floor is a sport, and it will make you cry. Trust me on this.)

Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinju (discover the almost lost art of rakugo, an entertaining form of story-telling, and the lives that have been touched by it)

Gourmet Girl Graffiti (cute girls bonding over food. I’m especially targeting @justonehappyvictory)

Croisée in a Foreign Labyrinth (cute Japanese girl in France!)

Kids on the Slope (highschool kids learning to deal with loneliness through jazz)

Lovely Complex (tall girl falls for short boy and they’re the most idiots ever, send help)

Maria Watches Over Us, or, as it’s popularly known, Maria-sama Ga Miteru (not as gay as you’d expect, beautiful bonding between girls)

Monthly Girls’ Nozaki-kun (you’d think the most popular shoujo author is a woman… but it’s a high school boy who barely displays any emotion?? Gender roles reversed at every corner! Absolutely hilarious)

My Love Story!! (big guys who look threatening but are sweethearts can love the cutest girls, why not?)

NANA (two girls with the same name meet and share one of the most profound relationships. Do you want to cry? I cry.)

Nodame Cantabile (anime! jdrama! kdrama! enjoy the musical dorks in every media possible!)

Princess Tutu (the fairy tale that will change your life)

Tamako Market (adorable girls and a talking bird being silly in a big market)

The Perfect Insider (a good thriller anime that is so hard to find)

Your Lie in April (yup, this one will make you cry too)

…I think that helps? I DID NOT GET CARRIED AWAY………

( ˘ ³˘)♥