#my tummy hurts so much I woke up in the worst pain I am shattering

[birthday-cake-rockz]

Donnie is V OBVIOUSLY NOT MY OC but i wanted to draw him in this anyways bc he so would wear smth like this

This is how Rise!April actually met the gang they’re lying to us guys

[colorseeingchick]

Period Pains (Atsumu, Akaashi, Sugawara)

Periods. Suck. Mentally, physically, and emotionally. But maybe they can make it suck less.

A/N: Y’all can probably guess how my week has been :D. So this is mostly self indulgent and has definitely made me fall in love with all these boys much more. I may or may not stan Miya Atsumu now but we don’t talk about it (yet)

Warnings: None really! Fluffy and domestic wholesomeness. Post-timeskip.

Miya Atsumu 

Atsumu starts to stir from his sleep when he hears a loud prolonged groan next to him. 

He presses his eyes closed when the lights suddenly turn on. Ugh.

He opens his eyes to see you waddling away to the bathroom with your hand pressed to your stomach. Hmm?

He looks down and sees a relatively large splotch of red staining the sheet. HAH!

Suddenly, Atsumu is very alert.

“Babe what happened! Did you get hurt?”

Mans throws (I mean THROWS) himself out of bed and pulls a pair of shorts on as he stumbles to the bathroom to check on you.

“Baby are you-” 

He sees you by the sink, washing your shorts, the water discolored as it runs off. 

Ohhhh yeah! You were on your period. 

Headass’s mind blanked while in a sleepy haze.

You sigh. “Yeah I’m… fine-ish. I guess.”

He smirks and comes up behind you, wrapping his hands around your waist, one hand gently rubbing over your long sleep shirt, right over your lower belly. 

He presses a slow kiss into the side of your head and rocks you side to side while you continue to wash. 

“Did ya wake up cuz of the pain, babe?” 

“Mhm. And I saw the stain then too. Ain’t my luck just great?”

He groggily laughs and presses more kisses along the side of your face and holds you tighter. 

“You got this, babe. I’ll bring the sheets here, yeah?” 

“Kay.”

This, in its own way, is enough to make you feel… less bad. 

You were far from feeling okay at this point, but Atsumu knowing the drill and nonchalantly helping out at 2 am made things feel less apocalyptic than they were in your head.. 

Atsumu strips the bed of all its sheets, rubbing his eyes as he tries to keep awake. 

Handing the sheet to you, he leans against the wall as you washed out the immediate blood stains. 

Once you wash it out, he takes it from you.

“Clean yerself up babe.” 

He takes the sheets downstairs and throws them into the washing machine. 

He goes to the kitchen and grabs a banana and some dark chocolate (because we healthy in this household).

And some ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet.

And runs back up to find you coming with new sheets in hand. 

Putting your snacks down on your bedside table, he helps you pull the fresh sheets over your bed. 

Sitting you on the bed, he hands you the food and sits next to you, leaning his head on your shoulder while you munch. 

He gives you the medicine when you’re done. 

“30 minutes- not bad. I think that’s our new record.”

He shuts off the lights and crawls into bed, opening his arms as you slide your legs under the comforter. 

Snuggling into him, he nuzzles your forehead as he holds you close. 

“Feelin better, babe?”

“Yeah… I’ll probably fall asleep in a bit or something.”

“Well, if ya wanna press up against me if that’ll make you feel better, ya can. And wake me up if ya need anything.”

“I will, Atsumu. Thanks.”

“G’nite, sweetheart.” 

BONUS: you wake up late the next morning, Atsumu still holding you flush against his body. 

Now that you slept well (thanks to the meds and Atsumu) and woke up without pain, you’re suddenly in a very affectionate mood. 

Wiggling up, you find your way to Atsumu’s face, giving him a couple of soft pecks to his lips. 

He stirs in his sleep, kissing you back. 

But even after you had pulled away, he kept kissing at the air, trying to find your lips in his sleepy haze.

It was pretty funny. 

He’s a headass, you’re not gonna lie. 

But he’s your headass! And that’s all that matters. 

Akaashi Keiji 

Before even coming home, Akaashi knew you were going to be on your period today. 

Your period tracking app was synced to his phone, so he knew when to prepare for your worst days with snacks, supplies, and lots of affection.

He hated how busy he was, that he couldn’t be home to take care of you. So making sure you had everything you needed was the best he could do. 

But when Akaashi comes home and can’t find you anywhere, he starts to worry. 

Where were you? You would usually always greet him when he came home, even when you were on your period.

He gets his answer when he hears sniffles and hiccups coming underneath the lump of blankets on the couch. 

Akaashi knows that if you were ever fully underneath the blankets, there was something really wrong. 

Taking his jacket off and throwing it over a chair in the kitchen, he rushes to your side and pulls the blankets delicately off your head. 

“What’s wrong, darling.”

“H-hi Keiji. I’m s-sorry I didn’t m-mean to *hic* hide from you I j-just don’t feel too g-good.” 

Your breath was so shaky and Akaashi’s heart shattered watching you. 

“Please, tell me what’s wrong, dear.” Akaashi asks you in a whisper. 

“My tummy just hurts so so much and it won’t go away I-” your sobs begin to rack through your whole body. 

“Did you take medicine? Heating pad?” He asks gently as he runs his hands through your hair and wipes the tears off your face. 

“N-no… I hate taking medicine Keiji you know that. But I took a hot shower and I hoped it would help and it didn’t.” You attempt to stifle your cries to talk coherently, misery wrapping around your soul. 

“Alright then, give me a second, darling, and I’ll do whatever I can.” 

After changing, Akaashi comes back downstairs to the couch and makes his way over to you. 

He pats your head gently, “can you sit up for me?”

He swings his legs up onto the couch and opens his arms and legs so you could place yourself between all his limbs. 

Crawling up to him, he turns you so that your back is pressed to his torso. 

Immediately, Akaashi’s hands snake around your waist and find their way to two sides of your lower stomach.

His fingers gently message you, moving around to try and find which spots need his attention, all while he coaxes you into being relaxed.

“Shhh darling, you’re okay. I’m here and I’m going to shower you with my love. Just relax and let me take care of you, okay dearest?”

You nuzzle back against his chest, letting his words, touch, warmth, and smell fill all your senses. 

“Keiji… how was your day?” You murmur, tilting your head back in an effort to look at him. 

He smiles, warmth spreading through his body as he realizes even while in pain, you still want to carry on your daily check-in on him post work. 

And so Akaashi tells you all the stories from the day- his new assignment, how panicked he got midday when the office went into crisis, a surprise visit from a certain owl during lunch time.

You listen attentively, but your hands subconsciously move his larger hands to the center of your lower abdomen, where he starts to gently rub, leaving your skin tingly and chest lighter. 

“Do you feel better, Y/N?” after sitting in comfortable silence for a little, he decides to ask. 

But when he got no response, he cranes his neck to check on you. 

You had fallen asleep in his embrace, a sweet smile slowly creeping across your face. 

He smiles too, overjoyed to know that he was able to relieve you of some of your pain. 

“Goodnight, my love.” He whispers to you, his eyes slowly shutting, arms still on your stomach. 

BONUS: at around 2 am, Akaashi wakes up, realizing he was still on the couch. 

You, however, were nowhere to be seen. 

Getting up, Akaashi heads to the kitchen to grab water, assuming you were already in bed. 

Instead, he found you in the kitchen too, the smell of pancakes flooding the space. 

“Keiji! We never ate dinner. I’m sorry I made you fall asleep without eating.”

A small smile appears on his face and he rubs his sleepy eyes. 

“It’s okay, dear. I’m just glad you could sleep some.”

“Do you want pancakes?”

“I would love some.”

Sugawara Koushi

Like Akaashi, Suga knew what was about to happen when he got a phone call from you as soon as he was leaving school.

Regardless, hearing you sniffle over the phone activates every protective instinct in his body.

“What’s wrong baby?”

“Koushi, do you love me?” 

A dumb question, obviously. Suga showered you with affection and endless praise on a daily basis for you simply just breathing. The most supportive of boyfriends!

But alas, insecurity still creeps up at times. And Suga gets it. 

“I love you more than anything else, Y/N.”

“Can you come home, Koushi? I miss you.”

“I’m on my way, love. Give me 10 extra minutes, okay?”

Suga hopped into his car to head home, stopping by the store to pick up a few things. 

He grabbed a pint of your favorite ice cream, your favorite chips (because do you want sweet or savory today? Only time will tell), and some flowers before heading home. 

The moment he steps through the door, you throw your hands around him and groan out of frustration, pain, and just general dejectedness (don’t @ me for projecting I swear). 

Suga smiles down at you, knowing that he can bring you some peace, and pulls you against him, flowers and bag still in hand. 

“Let me go change, my love. These are for you.” 

Your generally miserable disposition shifts as your nose is filled with the aroma of fresh flowers. Sweet and gentle scents always managed to lift your spirits, and Suga knew that. 

“Mkay.”

Once Suga came downstairs, he headed to the kitchen to warm up some water to pour into a water bottle. 

“Sweet or salty?”

“Salty.”

He grabs the warm water bottle and the bag of chips and makes his way over the couch where your eyes were begging him to shower you in love (which he was more than happy to do). 

Sitting down and opening his arms, you pull yourself against his side, hugging him tightly and nuzzling against his chest.

He rubs your head before sliding his hand down, soothingly rubbing circles onto your back. 

His other hand goes to place the warm water bottle on your lower abdomen, which you hold in place by pulling your legs up to your torso. 

“Koushi, why do you love me?” You murmur against him. “I’m so whiny and clingy and annoying and insecure and you’re perfect… you deserve the best. You shouldn’t have to put up with someone like me-”

“Hey.” Suga gently but sternly cuts you off. 

“That’s my girlfriend you’re talking about, and I don’t appreciate you talking about her like that.” He looks down at you and melts as he sees your puppy dog eyes staring back up at him.

“Koushi, I’m not wrong though. I am all those things.”

“And? I love you for it. I love that you whine for me and cling to me- it makes me feel wanted. I wouldn’t call you annoying, that's not your call to make. And insecure? That’s natural, my love. Everyone's a little insecure. I’m a little insecure. You’re not perfect and neither am I. And that’s okay. I don’t wanna love perfect. I want to love you and only you, okay?” 

Tears prick your eyes but you feel better with Suga’s words of reaffirmation. He’ll tell you no matter how many times you need to hear it. “Thank you Koushi, I love you so much.”

“Shh, my love. Don’t cry. I love you, too.” 

His grasp on you tightens as you relax against him, your breathing synchronizing. 

“You wanna watch some TV?”

“Yes please.”

“Chips?” 

“Mhm.” 

Single word exchanges and the warmth of Suga’s sweater keep you connected as you allow yourself to forget your physical and mental pains.

Suga always knew exactly what you needed to hear, and never hesitated to tell you. No matter how ‘out of the blue’ or random it may have felt, he was always there for when you needed him. 

BONUS: you guys settle on watching a romance movie, Suga feeding you chips while popping some into his own mouth as well. 

But once the movie got to the really sad part, you started crying (sometimes movies just made you cry, but hormones made it so much worse).

“Baby, don’t cry, it’s just a movie.” 

“But Koushi, you’re crying too!” 

In honesty, Suga’s face was very tear-streaked as well, his sniffles hushed. 

“Okay fine, we can both cry together.”

And so you did! Both of you cried, emotions fully invested in the movie, chips still being munched on while sobs shook your bodies. 

It would have been a goofy sight to any onlookers, but it was the pinnacle of your relationship- emotionally vulnerable, intimate, and domestic. True perfection, if you were to ask me.

[muffindaddystyles]

𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐃

Author note: Mention of drugs, sickness and blood (if you're not comfortable with it don't read it) . It mighty be heart warming fluffyyyyyy.

You're his kitten. No matter the consequences you're. Cause even in his anger sometimes (which's rare and it's on the silly go-to's) he still sticks to that pet name because he met you like that under the bus stop's shelter in a heavy rain offered you an umbrella (while you were huffing and puffing like a kitten annoyed with the weather), walked you home, had a tea with you and some chocolate chip cookies. Been bestfriends from that year and there isn't a red light to your guys wild adventures—but he's been having a rough time recently. Had a cruel heart shattering breakup from a relationship that he thought was a never ending dream (she brought him happiness in a weird way he couldn't put into words) indeed it tightened your chest but his happiness's most important to you. To overcome it he's been scribbling notebooks over notebooks with lyrics that screams he miss her and the sex for the most part of it. It breaks your heart.

He's usually the one to melt all over you, give you forehead kisses, cuddles you when your periods are the bitchiest, makes you brekkie if he stays a night, runs you a bath and sometimes brings you pomegranate berried candles (he lies that he got them as a gift, he's one hell of a liar). He takes care of you with so much gentleness and helps you with study after wiping your tears and reassuring you telling you how proud he's of you. It made you guilty sometimes 'cos if you'd be in camille's place. . .you'd never be able not to get jealous. She was cool with it. Fills you with another curiosity that maybe she treated it like a fling.

He was devastated. Knocking on your door feebly. Then the moment your small confused body was under his weary gaze, boom!! It crashed upon him like a pitch storm and he fell to his knees tucking his head in your armpit crying his heart out. At that moment you felt his pain radiating to you and twisting your own stomach with a dagger, it was insufferable. He gave out no-deep scrapes but not to freak your bones muttered that he lost her. Eventually his bottled up emotions seeped into hues infront of you by passing week and to your littlest of information you got to know that they didn't ended up well in some perspectives so their relationship turned out to be a downfall. So As, you do with your girlie best-friend when she have a breakup you did it with Harry too. It didn't included feral clubbing (you left that part to his mates) but watching sappy movies that could fill your ice-cream bucket once you eat it whole, doing homemade face masks, playing drunk uno and knocking on your neighbours door to run way at last, dragging his arse to museum and in all of this you ended up convincing him to adopt a kitty (she lives with you thou).

The roles have been reversed completely!

He's been living at your flat for five weeks now. It's fading his usual cheekiness and the itch to annoy you every second he gets. Instead, it's just eating, spending bits of hours with you, going out with his mates and coming back to crash at your couch padding in your room in the wee of night demanding a warm coddle from you and that his back hurts from the cruelty of that single spring popping from the leather, staying with him when he'd wrench his stomach out in the morning. He's sensitive. His heart's soft that's one of the reason he gets hurt real quick, you admire that about him and reminds him that it's one of his qualities you're totally in love with. You're gentle with him. Giving him space and time to recover. Going with him at his friend's birthday little get together not drinking at all knowing one would have to stay sober as he chugged red wine staining his hawain shirt and when he clumsily poked his pink tongue out lazily to reach for the cigarette in her hand you tugged him back into you before he'd burn his tongue with sparkles announcing it's time to head back home and he'd be a pain in arse (a beautiful one though because his antics makes you all mushy) when he pretended to steal sandwiches from the table hiding them under his shirt saying that "'m pregnant with twins and it's hard to carry them" while you dragged him outside making him wear his coat like a stubborn toddler. Making him cupcakes sometimes, playing with his fluff of curls while he reads the book she gave him. It hurts. But, it subsides down with his single amiable glance that tells you he needs you. He always had. He always will. You give him extra forehead kisses and pecks on cheek while leaving for UNI, because it's irresistible to give dust to his pouty sulk.

It's seven in the morning when he tumbled through your door (has a key, you even brought his clothes and toothbrush from his house—he even uses your strawberry scented shampoo and body wash) his nose tip blushed matching his cheeks, eyes pooling with haze and hair poking in every direction. You were studying for a class you've in an hour. When you saw his irirses blown out you arched your brow putting the cup down beside your thick book, to mingle his sadness he's experimenting different fun wild things (told you bout it and you even called Mitch to take care of him).

"How many am I, pet?" You asked walking towards him seeing him struggle to get out of his vans and your giggles echoed into coldness when he peers down at your crouched state with his gold fish-y eyes, "dunno. . . but ye'r seem like. .like a-a sunflower floatin' in me head." His lips molding around his each word agonisingly slow drawl and his voice hoarse and scratchy. "You need rest, bambi." You got him out of his jeans and socks knowing he despises to sleep with layers on. "I'll be back with you in some hours. Hmm? Then we'll snuggle into blankets, you me and. . .salsa the pussy cat." You have to control your laugh everytime you take the kitty's name (Harry's worst at giving names you were horrified when he once joked that he loves chelsea boots so much he could name his daughter Chelsea) He whines at that nodding his head but not loosening his grip from around your wrist while you tucked him under your baby green patch work quilt. It's like his brain and heart can't decide how to choose.

On your way back you got Jeff's call asking why Harry isn't picking his phone his own voice resembling that of Harry's and you know he'd be looking shit at the time. Harry was still snoring out like a bulb in bright day on his tummy and you shook him gently at first but when he didn't woke up you had to be a bit harsher. "Harry wake up pet. . . Jeff's been calling ye for since." But, not even a hum in response so you placed your finger under his nose checking if he's even alive. Gratefully he was just sleeping like a literal corpse (he argues that he isn't that bad of a sleeper but in fact he is. Everything around him would burn down and he wouldn't even change a side).

It was seven in the evening when you were preparing for dinner when he woke up grumpy. His nose scrunched up, lips quirked up as if he tasted something yucky and his gait jello. You eyed him quietly even when he came in kitchen to drink water.

"Jeff was callin'. . ." You quipped stirring the veggies before pouring soup into a bowl and sliding it his way on the counter, "I know bombarded me phone with calls—" He gruffed spooning a mouthful and you flinched when he tried to cool it inside his mouth with "hawahhoohaha" little sounds (he knew it was hot, he's just an impatient leech).

"Stop being a gremlin. He told me ye' aren't writing, leaving everything like a cliffhanger neither you're attending the meetings he calls you at. . . I think you're done with your mourning it's time to do what you actually love and is there for you. Your music." You frown seriously trying to put some senses into his forever high brain. He drops the spoon back and dips his brows frustratedly, pinching his eyes shut.

"Fuckin' hell. Stop being my mama!" It's not the first time you guys are arguing and you're not gonna take it to heart. You stood up towering him and jabbing your finger to his chest, "you better stop filling your system with drugs before eighteen year olds come to you thinking you're a drug dealer—" He snickers at that a total mocking one (you know he's doing nothing hard it's just shrooms in the safe environment otherwise you'd have never never allowed him) but still you had to bring him back to his line so it was necessary. "Piss off." He mutters still slurping on his soup and you left him there with a loud smack on his head, "Wanker."

You care about him. Always did. Always will. He's the love of your life. Even your love has nourishment of just water and lacks sunshine from your sun it's still there into existence, how could you see him like this? Wasting his precious time and energy. It's impossible.

All you heard before going to deep slumber was the tinsy creak of your main door after that it was silent and darkness until now your phone buzzed under your pillow resonating Niall's tired words. You were a wreck havoc fumbling for your coat and wallet, covering pathway to tube with shivering legs hallucinating that everyone's eyeing your fiddly self with judgemental stare even though there're few.

You rushed to Niall's doorsteps knocking like a maniac, "where's he? Is he okay? told ye—" You pushed him aside marching inside to look for him. "He looked fine, he's a strong guy y/n they took him to hospital." You snaps your neck raising your brows.

"What the fuck, d'ya mean hospital!?" Your heart hammering in her ribcage overthinking the worst scenarios. "Take me there. right. fuckin' now." You tell him firmly not caring even if he's high too. Niall leads you to his car heating it up in the first beat taking glances of your petite body leaning against the glass with lips sucked in, eyes watered and legs constantly on bounce so placed his hand atop your knee giving you reassuring squeeze and a genial smile.

Your pink cheeks warming up with the heat of hospital radiating your way and loud growl left your chest when your blurry vision cleared to the sight of dishelved Harry sitting on the bench outside of ER, his irirses weary, mouth stuffed with cotton and has few scratches of rashes on his elbows otherwise he's fine. With each step of yours towards him something kept breaking inside you like you're walking on the nails and it's ripping you raw. He raised his head timidly hearing footsteps and when his eyes fell over your worried state panic flashed over his features and his only gaze turned you a puddling emitting heavy sobs within you before reaching towards him. The reality of situation dawning upon you because from what Niall told you in the car that they were high trying to have some fun, drove around neighbour hood and Harry jumped out of the window and bit his tongue between his teeth resulting in heavy bleeding a deep gnash (the fuckin' dumbstick he is).

"I hate you. I hate you so fuckin' much! you bastard." You tried to shout at him but the voice that came out of your mouth was that of mice as you threw harsh blows at his chest, bottom lip jutting wet and salty tears tricking down. He wraps his hand around your wrists ushering you closer down to his chest speaking muffled, "'orry." causing you to grunt angrily into the crook of his neck.

"Sorry my ass!" When you tried to pull back he tightened his hold round your neck snuggling you warmly to him with a hum. Jeff came back with medicines and when he parted his lips to speak in his defence you ignored him wiping your tears with the heel of your palms muttering a, "I hate you guys." The drive back was silent and the walk to your flat too, you passed by him to lock yourself into your room (you wouldn't because of the fact you wouldn't be able to sleep if not sure he's okay few feets away from you). When Harry attempted to roll his tongue to make some words nothing came out but a hiss making you spin, "'s okay we'll speak in the mornin'." Saying this you headed to bed and when you were bout to turn the lamp off he was lurking at the foot of your bed with a pillow in his arms smushing his face into it and squeezing it close to his chest gesticulating you that he wants a cuddle.

"Only 'cos y're adorable." You muttered moving your bum to make space for him suppressing your cooe when he grinned showing nothing but snow cotton, fuckin' hell being this cute should be illegal! He snapped his finger to call Salsa and she instantly galloped to shrink into his side while you spooned him. You woke up to the running tap and the time you were stretching under your quilt with yawns he padded out looking healed than last night.

He got a little lisp as he spoke, "can we talk?" You nodded knuckling at your sticky eyes criss-crossing your legs. "'Forgive me kitten." He continues, "sorry fo' mistreatin' ye' last night." You shake your head not realizing tears are dropping down your collarbones.

"Please. . .I don't wanna be a party-pooper in your life. you can live your life to finest but not at the sake of your life Harry– and. . . and if you're trying to invade the feelin' of sadness with all of this I don't approve it. What bout me? dunno what'll do if somethin' will happen to you, pet. S'not fair to me. is it? Just. . . love y—" your confessions cameflouging with sobs.

"Oh baby. ." He immediately cradled you in his embrace trying to soothe you with 'sorrys' and 'I'll never do somethin' like that again, promise'. Smooching slobery kisses all over your face and when you gazed up at him attracting him closer to your clean warm features all he did was peck the corner of your lips tenderly pulling away to pat your hair with a sigh.

"So. . .ye' love me." He teased you and you rolled your eyes grabbing his chin with your fingers, "show me your tongue." biting down your laugh when he retorted misheviously, "hmm. Wanna kiss it better?" Blowing him off with a remark that he's an utter pervert hiding the fact it splashed crimson to your neck.

"Mind makin' me poor self some brekkie?" He pouts and you giggled pecking the corner of his burgundy lips getting a timid smile in return, "in trade of?" He hip-checked you straddling Salsa over his shoulder and grabbing her little paws to expertise her in some dancey-dance moves.

"Mind bloggin' orgasm–ique dinner." He cackled loudly at the end when you shook your head in fake disappointment at him and he clinged by your side helping you to make some breakfast.

Think so you guys will figure it out.

[gotbts7fics]

Positive | Three |

| Two | April 2017 | Four |

It was the middle of April by now, you still weren’t feeling good, your hormones were chaotic and you were currently sitting at an empty table with a cold dinner in front of you. This happened, it was normal. Jaebum would get busy and be late, normally it was fine, however today it was not fine. You knew the moment he came through that door you were going to pick a fight. A very bad fight. Jaidyn had been so disappointed when he hadn’t showed up for dinner since it was the third time this week that dinner plans fell through. She was missing him, you were angry, and the poor guy wasn’t even at fault. This was the life you had signed up for and until now, were capable of handling it, but pregnancy was making you crazy. So you sat at the table, watching the meal you had made get cold, your daughter long since going to bed after her dinner was finished. It was approaching ten when you heard the front door keypad beep, signalling the entry of the only other person who had the pin code. You could hear him shuffle to take his shoes off, him padding towards the kitchen where you were currently sitting in the dark.

Jaebum assumed you had already gone to bed, he had noticed you were so tired lately, barely making it to eight on a good day. So he was shocked when he flipped the light on in the kitchen to see you, sitting there, looking like a corpse.

“Aissssshhhhhh! Wow, you scared me” He chuckled as he approached to give you a kiss. You leaned away from him, which judging by the look on his face, he assumed it was because you were angry.

“I’m sorry, I know this is the third time this week I missed dinner. We’re just so busy with the Japan tour that I can’t sneak away earlier. You have every right to be upset.” He said crouching down in front of your chair, resting his chin on on your lap. It was the moments like this that killed you. He was genuinely sorry for making you wait, for making you feel like you weren’t important. It was these same moments that made you want to tell him the truth.

“I know JB, but I can’t keep doing this. I love you but I’m so tired” You said barely audible, your resolve cracked, you were to exhausted to fight.

“Baby, I know. And I am sorry. You give me so much and ask for nothing. All I can do is love you and show you how much you mean to me. I know I suck sometimes, especially when you’re so patient and understanding with me and my career. You and Jai mean the world to me, its crazy how much love and support the two of you give me, making me feel like the luckiest man in the world.” He stood from his crouching position and kissed your forehead. His gaze then shifted to the cold plate of food in front of you.

“Did you not eat? Y/N you need to eat. Let me heat up the food. Then we can cuddle tonight, can I stay the night?” You nodded, feeling the tears fall down your cheeks. You would give yourself tonight, just one more night with the man you loved.

You woke up the next morning later than usually, thankfully it was a Sunday so you hadn’t been late to work. You remembered how the night before had found you tangled in the sheets, Jaebum pleasing you and making you see how sorry he was. It had been all about you and the pleasure you deserved. Turning over to look at the empty side of the bed he had vacated, sent a shooting pain through your chest. You sat up slowly from your position, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and feeling the ache between your legs. Looking around the room you noticed a vase with a rose that had not been on your dresser the night before. As you untangled your legs from the sheets, raising up and heading to your dresser, you noticed the little note beside the vase.

“Babe, I let you sleep in this morning because you deserve it.

I packed a bag for Jaidyn and brought her to the company for the day.

Don’t worry about anything. I figured she would like to see everyone before

we left for Japan in a few days. If you want to come by later, please do.

If not, we will be home at dinner time. Don’t cook. I will bring you your 

favourite spicy rice cakes.

I love you

JB”

You read the note three times before the tears began falling. You were so hopelessly in love with this man. He was so incredible to you, and yet here you are, selfishly stealing more time with him before you shattered his world to protect him. The tears had finally stopped after a hot shower. Dressing in jeans that still fit and a lose fitting t shirt under an oversized sweater, you slipped your shoes on and headed to his building. One day, you just needed one day. This was the lie you kept telling yourself.

The scene you found when you walked into the dance studio was one of chaos. Apparently, it was break time and the boys had put on music just to goof around too. Your child was in the middle of an epic dance battle with Youngjae, as the other men surrounded them, shouting words of encouragement to the little human, and taunts to the older male. No one had noticed you yet, so you pulled your phone out to capture a video, something you often did, but now it was for a much more different reason.

“Y/N!!!!!!” Yugyeom called out, finally noticing you after several minutes. Quickly putting away your phone you walked towards the men in front of you, all of them simultaneously turning towards you. Jaebum broke away from the group and walked over to stand behind you, wrapping his arms around your middle. Your breath hitched, thankful that you weren’t really showing yet and that the sweater provided extra padding for the tiny little amount of chub you accumulated on your tummy, something easily passed off as bloating.

“Maman~!, JB Appa and the oppas are so funny today! You’re just in time for the dance party.” She said while spinning around

“Jaidyn-ah, Oppa wants ice cream, shall we go to the store?” Jackson said, sticking his hand out towards her.

“Yes!!!!” she squealed in delight.

“Hey, wait a minute. It’s almost dinner time. You can’t feed her ice cream” Jaebum piped up, looking at Jackson sternly.

“We’re going to be gone for like a month, let me spoil my princess!” Jackson whined, grabbing your child and running for the door. Yugyeom and Bambam followed directly behind them.

“Um, you better supervise that shopping trip” You said as you nodded towards the door. Jaebum sighed beside you, reaching around to kiss your cheek.

“I’ll be back” he said as he walked after the group who had just left.

“I’ll be here” You smiled.

Youngjae had went to lie down on the couch and Mark followed suit. Jinyoung was sitting against the mirrors on the floor.

“We love when she is around. I can’t believe she is almost eight now.” he said as you went to sit next to him.

“Try being me. It’s crazy”

“Thank you for being so patient with Hyung. Not only are the rest of us thankful to have met you, but you really complete him.” Although his words were sincere, you couldn’t help but feel bitter.

“I really love him Jinyoung, always remember that. I will never love another man the way I love him.” You mumbled looking down at your hands in your lap. You neglected to see the quizzical look on Jinyoung’s face at your statement. He didn’t question you, but he felt it rather odd that you would say something like that. So he just wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you close. You snuggled into him and basked in his warmth, silently praying you would not start crying. God, everything made you cry these days, this was so different from your first pregnancy. Jinyoung opened up his phone and you two watched videos until the door to the studio opened a while later.

“You know, I’m not sure how I feel about my girlfriend wrapped in another mans arms” JB said, as he walked in, holding your daughter’s hand. He cocked an eyebrow as he looked between you and Jinyoung. The two of you laughed at his reaction. The remainder of the night was full of love and laughter between everyone.

A few nights later, as you lay on the couch, you felt what you believed to be the first flutter of movement  of the impending human to be, growing in your tummy. It was at that moment, fifteen weeks pregnant that you knew it was time. Jaebum was set to leave in a week for month long promotions in Japan, so it was time to let your fairy tale life end. You had been selfish to keep this relationship going, to make him believe everything was going to be okay. You knew how the members of GOT7 were going to be angry at you, not just for hurting him, but them too. You were going to rip yourself out of their life, bringing the little girl they had grown to love with you. There was no winning in this situation. The emotional turmoil had brought you down so much.

“Hey, what are you thinking about?” A voice caused you to jump out of your skin, hand flying up to your heart.

“Jesus, I didn’t hear you come in” You gasped out.

“I’m sorry, I called your name, like five times. What is going on in your head” JB asked as he sat down beside you, arranging your feet on top of his thighs. A worried look on his face.

“Stuff, I guess I am unhappy about a lot lately” You figured it was now or never.

“about what? Is it your job?” He honestly didn’t have an inkling of doubt in your relationship. That was the worst part. The two of you got along and understood each other so well. The age difference didn’t matter, both of you respected the other and supported each other through everything. You two weren’t perfect by any means, and although rarely, there had been many fights that resulted in screaming. Usually the other removing themselves from the situation and saying that they needed time to cool down and then talk rationally, but it was never anything that couldn’t be fixed. You guys were mature about many things.

“No JB, it’s about us.” You said sitting up, removing your legs from his body. He stiffened at that, probably trying to figure out where he had gone wrong, trying to rectify whatever mistake he made.

“Is it because I am never around? I know it can be hard, but you know this is what it is like with me. Come on, we’ve been at this three years. We can make it.” He said with a smile, ruffling your hair.

“Look, I’m not going to blame you. I signed up for this. I chose this. In the beginning it was okay, but now.. god you’re almost never around. Like ever. Plans are always broken. I go weeks without seeing you. It sucks”  You groaned out.

“I know, but I try to message you as much as possible. You know I try. I’m so thankful you have been understanding of my career. You never needed to be. So please, just hold on a little longer. Look how far we come” He pleads, you can hear the tension in his voice now. Him realizing you weren’t letting it go like you normally did when this conversation would start.

“You always say that! I love you, don’t doubt that, but I want more. I want more time with you, I want to have normal dates. God, I want to post on social media about my happy family. But I can’t, and don’t even for a second tell me that I will be able to. You know as well as I know it doesn’t happen for a korean idol.” You let your voice raise in anger. To be fair, this was not how you wanted it to play out, but emotions were running high, and you were so tired of holding it together.

“No, you can have that. You just need to give it time. Come on. You know this. Were really getting popular now and you know I have a duty to the boys —-” You cut off his rant.

“Fuck them. I am greedy, I want it to be about me for once. I’m tired of being second. I am so fucking tired of it! Of you breaking dinner dates, missing out on Jaidyn’s things. You can’t even pick her up from school. I’m a single mom, and it sucks!” You snapped at him.

“No baby, not at all. I fully accept the role of her father figure, you know that. I love that little girl so much. I would do anything for her. Baby come on.” He was grasping at straws, trying to diffuse the situation, trying to make you believe in him like you normally did.

“No Jaebum. I don’t doubt you love her, hell I see how you are, but you’re not here. You miss the gymnastics competitions, the school plays, fuck even just like going on a random adventure to the Han River. You’re never there.” You were crying now. Something JB hated and knew only happened when you were really feeling frustrated and hurt.

“Look, I know it’s not easy. I can understand how you feel, but my career, we just need to hold on a few more years. Then we can go public, get married and be open. Right?” Jaebum he pleaded with such sincerity in his eyes. He really didn’t like how this conversation is going. For some reason this one felt different then the other ones you two had had before.

“I can’t. I am exhausted. I can’t do it anymore.” You said getting up, walking towards the kitchen to get some water.

“Really, just like that. You’re going to throw away three amazing years because you’re feeling a little butt hurt right now” His temper had finally snapped, and he couldn’t stop the words he was spewing, yelling at you. Normally holding it together much better than you, but tonight, with the emotions in the air, he lost his cool.

“This is selfish. You’re not the only one in this relationship. Do you honestly think I like leaving you? Hell we have a child together! I have been in that little girls life for three years. That is my daughter. We need to stick it out because I will not fucking lose her!!!” He had some how gotten in to your face, jaw sticking out and yelling at you.

“You’re not her real fucking dad!” You seethed words laced with venom, regretting them instantly. You had never said that before, even in the middle of a fight. You watched the colour drain from his face, as he stumbled back and his expression instantly became pained, then cold.

“You take that back.” He said in a low warning growl.

“Fuck you.”

“Take. It. Back.” He was in your face again, beyond pissed off.

“Appa?” a sleepy voice came from behind Jaebum. He turned around instantly, expression changing to one of love.

“Hi baby, did maman and I wake you up, we’re sorry. Let me tuck you back into bed” JB took her by the hand and led her back to bed. You went and threw yourself onto the couch, pulling your knees to your chest. This was by far the worst fight you two had ever had. You had said terrible things to him, but you were not going to apologize, you needed to end this. Several minutes passed until you heard Jaebum return to stand in front of you.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He asked angrily. You didn’t look at him. “Really, you’re not going to have a conversation with me?” Again, you ignored his comments.

“Whatever Y/N, I’m done tonight. I’ll call you in a few days. I love you” He said, still angry. If there was one thing you two always did, no matter the argument, you always said that you loved each other.

“Don’t bother. We’re done.” You said.

“Really? You’re going that far tonight?” He asked, his temper flaring even more.

“Goodbye JB, don’t let the door hit you on the way out” You said picking up your phone as a distraction from the man looming over you. He finally turned around and headed to put his shoes on.

“Whatever y/n” He said as he slammed the door shut.

You  waited a minute before you walked over and put the chain on the latch. It was over.

You returned to sit on the couch, you would give anything for a bottle of wine. Instead you cried yourself to sleep.

JB arrived at the dorm in record time, his anger boiling over. He slammed the door with so much force that the window glass rattled. Several heads snapped up to look at him as sank to the floor in front of the door, putting his head into his hands.

“Hyung?” It was Jinyoung who went to him right away, resting a hand on his shoulder.

“I think I just lost them.” Jaebum said, head still in his hands.

“What do you mean?” Jinyoung asked the man, as he sat down beside him. Concern etched on his face.

“I lost them. Y/n and I, we…we got into a fight. I-I-I think it’s over” Jaebum stuttered.

“Don’t be ridiculous, it was just a fight. Couples fight. You two always work it out, she loves you way to much.” Jinyoung reassured him.

“This time feels different Jinyoung, she didn’t even say she loved me as I left, she always tells me she loves me… “ He whispered, tears falling from his eyes. No one said anything for the rest of the night.

It had been five days since the fight. Neither you, nor Jaebum, had reached out to each other. Usually by the second day someone was showing up with food, saying sorry and showering the other with kisses. Although you knew it needed to end, you were still hoping that maybe he would call, even a text. Instead you were met with radio silence and it just made the heart break worse. You hadn’t talked to any of the members of his group, and with them departing for Japan in a few days, the likelihood of you seeing anyone was also very slim. Your three year relationship was over, completely done.

And yet you wanted nothing more than to run to the man who you were pushing away.

“Maman, how come JB Appa hasn’t been home lately. I really miss him. Can he come see us soon” Your little girl asked one day as she was getting ready for school.

“I’m sorry baby, he is so busy. He has to get ready for a month in Japan.”

“Will we see him before he goes?”

“I don’t know baby. I hope so, but if we don’t it’s okay. You know he loves us so much right” You hated lying, but this was not a conversation you wanted to have with her just yet. Instead you busied yourself getting her ready for school. You had two weeks until you were done your contract at your school, so you hadn’t been packing or anything useful yet for the move. The emotions you were feeling were very overwhelming. Guilt, anger, sadness, and relief, were consuming you. You were finding it harder and harder to hid the baby growing in your belly. It was exhausting.

“Jaidyn, grab your bag. We need to go.” You yelled making your way to the front door.

“Coming, Maman, I love you.” She smiled as she slipped her shoes on and grabbed her coat.

“I love you to baby.” You replied, taking her hand and heading out the door.

It was somewhere along the way of dropping your daughter off at school and heading to your own classroom that you received the text. The text you had been praying to come, but not to come. That damn text that was going to put your heart together again, only to shatter it at the same time. It was a wicked trick of fate, really. Having what you longed for so much, only to throw it away. You must have stared at the text for a solid five minutes before you made the decision to not reply.

[8:03am] Jaebum</3: I love you. You deserve everything you want. The dates, social media posts, random adventures. I promise when I get home from Japan, I will become the boyfriend you deserve babe, promise. Hold on just a little while longer, okay. We got this xo.

He honestly knew how to be the best man possible for you, yet you couldn’t be the woman for him. You let your phone screen shut off and placed it in your bag. Jaebum would never be able to fulfill that promise.