#my third baby fits into our family so well it’s hard to believe she hasn’t always been here

[harmonizewithechoes]

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[stratus-skye07]

Suga Craze [Five] | Suga

[Masterlist] [Four]

In most mafia groups, when a child is born, especially a girl, they’re mistreated and used as a gateway to unite other groups. No matter what happens to that daughter, whether she gets treated like a princess or a trophy wife, it usually ends badly for them.

Growing up, my dad never hit me unless it was to scold me for something I deserved. He put me in the best schools to make sure I never ended up being a brainless doll for whoever I would’ve married. He paid for the best trainer to teach me to defend myself. One day he asked me what I wanted to do when I graduated and that’s when I told him that I wanted to be a nurse. At first, he was confused but then he smiled at me and supported my choice. I would never ask for a better father than the one I was blessed with, mafia and all.

I continue to stand in front of the picture that was displayed and surrounded by flowers. Today was the third day of the funeral where we buried him. My whole life I knew this day would come but actually experiencing it hurts way more than I was expecting.

“Y/N,” I turn towards the voice to see CL, “I’m so sorry.” She pulls me in for a hug, “Leader Shin was the most honorable leader in Seoul. Please let me know if there’s anything you need. Don’t hesitate to call me.”

I nod, “Thank you, CL.”

I walked over to Yoongi, who was doing an amazing job at organizing the funeral. He wraps his arms around me to find some comfort. He kisses me on the temple before his arms start to tense up.

I follow where he’s glaring at, which is the entrance of the funeral hall. A group of unknown men enter with only one of them being a familiar face, the EXO leader, Suho.

I grip Yoongi’s arm, “Please don’t fight. My dad has lived his whole life in violence, I just want to send him off peacefully for once.” I pleaded.

Yoongi’s face relaxes as he nods, “Okay.”

Suho comes walking towards us with his group following behind him. Bangtan makes their stand but Yoongi raises his hand in protest.

“Y/N, Suga,” Suho greets us both, “Myself and the rest of EXO have come to give our condolences.” Insync, all nine of them bow.

I nod my head, “Thank you, Suho.”

“Your father laid down the ground for people like us to rise in the underground, for that we send him off with the utmost respect.” He says.

My dad made more enemies than allies, most of them connecting to someone else, so for anyone to say that they have a great amount of respect for him means that they’ve wanted to follow in his footsteps. “Not many people can say that so thank you.”

We got back home from the funeral. Yoongi held me as we walked up to the stairs. The entire day I felt like I was on autopilot. Yoongi sits me down on the bed and kneels in front of me.

“Are you hungry?” He asks.

I shake my head looking down at my hands to find that my fist was clenched.

Stroking my arms he says, “Babe, you have to eat something.”

“I’m not hungry.” I say flatly.

He takes an audible breath as he responds, “Starving yourself isn’t good for the baby.”

“What did the M.E. say about my dad?” I ask, ignoring his protest.

Shaking his head he says, “You don’t have to worry about that right now. You need to-”

“What did he say?” I ask again with a more demanding tone.

Yoongi sighs, “He said that he was poisoned. It was placed in his drink. Apparently, your dad held a private meeting with someone before we came along but no one knows who that was. I have V looking into it right now.”

“Yoongi,” I say through sobs, “my dad raised me by himself and still managed to build the Shin Mafia. He was all I had in this world and now he’s gone.” My voice nearly breaks while saying the last word.

Yoongi pulls me in a hug, “I promise you, I will find who did this. Just remember that you aren’t alone. Bangtan is your family.” He reassures.

Laying me down to bed, Yoongi held me the rest of the night until I was able to stop crying and fall asleep.

A few days have gone by and I was beginning to feel the side effects of being pregnant. The morning sickness hit me hard one morning and hasn’t shown me mercy since. The search for whoever killed my dad has been delayed since V went back to look at the surveillance footage from his house but they were deleted and he wasn’t able to recover it. That person is still out there and not knowing how they’re thinking, they’ll come after us next.

In the meantime, Yoongi has been trying to keep me busy because I was getting too obsessed about it. He’s been taking me out to distract me while the rest of Bangtan took care of the hunting but I could never let it go so easily.

“How about this one?” Yoongi holds out a blue and white striped dress.

I shake my head, “Nah, I’m not in the mood for a dress right now.” I dully say.

Yoongi continues to look around the store for more things to buy. I know that he doesn’t know how to console someone who’s still mourning the loss of a family member but buying me things won’t help. For him trying, I smile and follow his lead.

“Yoongi, I don’t see the point in buying me new clothes when in a few short months I won’t even be able to fit in those.”

He sighs before halting his search, “I know, I just don’t know what to do to make you feel better.”

“I appreciate the effort though.” I give him a peck on the cheek. “I’m gonna go look at the shoes.”

I walk towards where the shoes are displayed near the window of the store. There are some nice looking sneakers that I can get for work especially if I’m gonna be gaining some extra pounds soon.

Walking along the window of the shoes, I notice the busy streets. My fists clench when I spot him once again.

Hyung-Sik standing on the corner of the side closest to the store. He waves and begins to fake cry. He did it. It had to be him. He killed my dad. I start walking towards the entrance of the store when he starts crossing the street.

I can’t let him get away this time. If I can get my hands on him, then I can prove that he’s really alive and kill him for sure this time.

“Y/N?” I hear Yoongi call out to me but I ignore him as I exit the store.

Once I reach the corner that Hyung-Sik was standing on, he’s already made it to the other side of the street. He blows me a kiss before walking off down the sidewalk. I make a run for it to catch him but as soon as I take a step off the sidewalk, I hear a car horn go off.

“Y/N!” Yoongi yells as he pulls me back onto the sidewalk again. The traffic light had changed to green and the rush of cars raced through the intersection. “Are you crazy?!”

“He’s getting away!” I point towards the direction that Hyung-Sik had gone.

Yoongi looks to where I’m pointing but there’s no one there anymore. “Who?”

I begin to rant hysterically, “Hyung-Sik! He did it! He killed dad, I know he did!”

With some force, Yoongi got me in the car and we drove back to the penthouse in silence. I know that he doesn’t believe me but I saw him. I’m sure that it was him.

Yoongi takes me to his office, sitting me down in the chair across from his desk. He looks out the wall-length window for a few minutes before turning his attention back to me.

He leans up against the desk, “Calmly, can you tell me what happened just now?” He asks with a hushed tone.

“I saw Hyung-Sik.” He hangs his head and sighs feeling disappointed that I was bringing his name back up again. “I know it’s hard to believe but I know what I saw. I saw him today and I’ve been seeing him since our honeymoon.”

As I’m talking, Yoongi reaches into his side drawer to pull out a folder. Once I finish my explanation, he slides the file towards me. I take it and open it to a set of gruesome photos. They were photos of Hyung-Sik in the morgue. He had a hole going through the corner of his eye and he was for sure dead but this doesn’t make sense.

I toss the pictures back on his desk, “I know what I saw. He has to have relatives or something but I saw him. I know he’s real. He grabbed me like this.” I place my hand on his forearm and squeeze it. “Why is it so hard to believe that it’s him somehow?”

Yoongi slams his palm on top of the pile of photos, “These photo’s make it hard to believe. I was there when we got rid of his dead body. He’s dead, Y/N. Normally, I would calmly talk to you about this but I can’t after the danger you put yourself in today.”

“He killed my dad. I don’t know how but when I saw him today I made it a goal to catch him no matter the cause.” I declare.

“That’s exactly my point!” He suddenly raises his voice. “You not only put yourself in danger but our baby. It’s not just you anymore you have to worry about. There’s a life growing inside you right now. You can’t think like that anymore.”

“So what do you expect me to do? Forget that my dad was murdered and just walk away from it?” I ask.

“I expect you to trust me in finding out who killed him.” Yoongi takes a breath and leans down to cup my cheek, “Your dad entrusted me to protect you and now with a baby I have so much more to fight for. So please think before you do anything that could hurt our child. I don’t wanna have to lock you away for your own protection.”

Hearing the pain in his voice makes me feel guilty at how selfish I had been for a second. I was so consumed by getting to the truth about the person behind my dad’s murder that I didn’t think about what could’ve happened to my baby. Yoongi was right. I was not only living for myself but for our unborn child as well. I know that there’s something going on that we don’t know but I hate to say that I have to be extremely careful about uncovering it.

[Six]

[agentsofsupernaturalmarvel]

Meeting The Family // Tom Holland

IN WHICH: Y/N O’Brien decides to bring her boyfriend to meet her parents and sister only to discover her older brother too. The older brother who influenced the relationship between the couple with his career. Will Tom made a good impression of the O’Brien clan? Specifically the protective brother?

Characters: O’Brien!Reader x Tom Holland, sister!reader x brother!Dylan O’Brien, Julia O’Brien, Lisa and Patrick O’Brien

Words: 2.7k

Warnings: Swearing, tooth decaying fluff and mentions of same sex relationships (this shouldn’t need to be a warning!)

A/N: This has been sitting in my drafts for a long time! Hope you enjoy!

YOU CAN REQUEST FROM ME AS WELL!

Masterlist

London was everything you had wanted to see since you graduated high school only a handful of years ago. When the Maze Runner series was ongoing, you often attended when they fell into the school breaks as support for your brother. While you and Julia were close, the bond you had with your older brother was closer. Dylan had always wanted a baby sibling from the time he understood what brother meant and your parents had no plan to have more children. Your conception was a complete surprise to the O'Brien clan, but a welcomed one. Three kids were enough for Lisa and Patrick O'Brien.

Once Dylan was cast as Stiles in Teen Wolf, his entire world changed, and more roles were offered until it was hard to see him. He always made sure to be there for birthdays and your high school graduation and to scare any boys. He was however often unavailable to catch your softball games in high school, acting was his thing, and softball was yours. It was also Dylan's acting career that allowed you to be introduced to your boyfriend. The boyfriend that Dylan wasn't aware of.

Tom was smitten the minute he saw you at his movie premiere to the point he grew the balls to ask you out, and the rest was history. As a family member to an actor, you understood the relationship would be harder than most, but it was worth it. Tom was worth it.

"Tom! We gotta go!" You called out to your boyfriend in your hotel room. Tom made his appearance wearing that shirt you had loved from the first date he wore it on.

It was a muted green and black vertical striped button-up with white outlining each stripe that paired wonderfully with a pair of slim-fit black jeans. His hair was styled just enough to look presentable without losing the natural curly waves. His necklace resting against his clothed chest and the silver watch pulling it off. It was the perfect outfit for dinner with your family where they would meet the nameless boyfriend they knew about.

"What?" Tom asked, looking down at his outfit, "Is it bad?"

"No! It's my favourite shirt of yours." You admitted walking over to slide your fingers into his while leaning up to press a lingering kiss to his lips, "My Mom is going to love you."

"I hope so." Tom murmured nudging his nose against yours, "I would love to have my future mother-in-law like me."

While not engaged the topic of marriage and a family had been spoken about every once in a while. You both knew that each other was The One, but it had no formal engagement until your significant other met the future-in-laws.

"The only person you had to worry about is my brother."

"The brother that learned how to shoot a gun on three sets. Teen Wolf for comedy, Maze Runner series and American Assassin." Tom spoke with a nervous glint in his eye. Technically your father had met Tom on a Skype session, and he didn't recognize him surprisingly.

As you drove into your hometown, you gave the rundown of your family to Tom. Hermosa Beach, California hadn't changed in the months you had spent away during the fall and winter semesters at university. The lady that babysat you still lived a block away from the O'Brien house with the cute old fashioned style with window box flowers. You had helped her plant some ever spring.

The O'Brien home had changed very slightly, but being away made you more aware of the changes. Both Julia and Dylan's cars were already parked on the street against the curb, so Tom followed suit by parking behind Dylan.

"Oh god, Dylan and Julia are both here." You whispered glancing over at Tom, "Dylan's filming schedule must have changed."

The house smelled terrific inside with the voices carrying in the open space of the living room and the kitchen. Removing your shoes, Tom and you made your way to the kitchen where your mom was tossing a salad. Outside your father was grilling steak with Dylan talking his ear off.

"Hey, Mom." You breathed, pressing a kiss to her cheek before stepping back, "I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Tom."

Lisa O'Brien was a loving person who accepted everyone with open arms no matter the circumstance and displayed this as she pulled Tom into a hug. Tom stiffened before hugging her back tightly, her energy and embrace reminding him of his parents back in England.

"Hello Tom, welcome to our home." Lisa smiled, stepping back, "If you want to join the boys outside, feel free."

"Actually, is there anything I can help you with?" Tom asked following your steps as you washed your hands at the sink. Lisa smiled once more nodding in response.

"Can you cut some cucumbers up please in circles," Lisa asked, and her approval grew as Tom stepped up to the job immediately. Her dark hair was pulled away from her face revealing features that Tom could see in you.

While Tom settled into a pleasant conversation with Lisa on his childhood and family, you finished setting the table. Once finished, you left the two of them to their own devices before stepping into the backyard where Dylan was talking animatedly about the Mets.

"I can't believe it. My dear Mets fanatic brother hasn't even invited me to a game." You gasped faking being scandalized with a grin that split your act. Dylan was quick to yank you into a tight hug holding his beer away to keep it from sloshing on you.

"Well if my little sister was around when I'm able to go." Dylan teased back stepping away to scan you, "You look more dressed up than normal for family supper."

He was right, typically when you wore a sweater and leggings; today you wore your favourite shirt and form-fitting jeans. Shoes were cute booties that matched the dark brown colour in your colourful cardigan. The most typical part of your outfit was your makeup being just like you wore every day.

"Mr. O'Brien, I've been sent to inform you that Mrs. O'B…I mean Lisa." Tom cut himself off as Lisa informed her to call her by her first name, "is finished with the side dishes."

Dylan was incredibly silent as he gazed at his fellow actor with a penetrating look in his eyes as his mind flipped through reasons he was there. You hadn't mentioned knowing the British actor in any of the conversations you had shared since you last saw each other in person. Tom returned to the kitchen before Dylan could question him, and you followed Tom as well. You didn't want to face Dylan's interrogation yet.

Dinner was spent with your parents asking Tom questions, from the typical childhood stories up until how you two met.

 "We met at a movie premiere a few months back," Tom spoke up wiping the corner of his mouth as he took a sip of his water. He didn't hide that he drank alcohol but had chosen to stick to non-alcoholic drinks as he was driving home.

"He stumbled over his words asking for my number." You blushed to look at the man sitting next to you. Julia was hanging onto every word of the meeting with a small smile, she adored knowing her little sister was happy.

"Thankfully, she took pity on my nerves by giving me her number, and after getting to know each other, I asked her out." Tom grinned, "I asked my Mum for ideas, and then I planned."

"How did you do it?"

"There's a hole in the wall coffee shop I go to. The owner is originally from London and serves authentic tea. I took Y/N there for our third date, and the owner was nice enough to let me play barista.”

"Play barista?" Julia questioned with a grin plastered on her face taking a sip of the wine your parents had cracked open. Dylan was invested in this story as he nursed his beer paired with his steak and potatoes.

"It was silly. Tom slips behind the counter with this cheesy grin taking my drink order, and then he decides to order himself a snack to share with me. He brings the order to our table and announces the names he put on the order, he had made a sticker of a bee on the food with the word 'Bee', and the drink had 'Mine'."

"Aww!" Your mom announced as Tom leaned over to kiss the side of your head without even thinking about it.

The sight alone made your father nostalgic and sad at seeing his little girl was grown up and found a good man. Patrick O'Brien had no doubts that he was looking at his youngest child's future husband. Tom was everything Patrick and Lisa had wished for Y/N's significant other and the charming British accent was a bonus.

"We're having a fire out back with a few friends if you two would like to join us," Dad spoke with a sparkle in his eye as he grasped his wife's hand and then stood up to clear his plate.

Tom was quick to offer his help by taking your empty plate and his before following Patrick into the kitchen.

"Can I help Sir?" Tom asked your father. Wordlessly Patrick waved the young man to follow into the kitchen to start the dishes; it was a rule in the family that whoever made dinner would relax while the one who didn't clean up.

"In our house, we like to follow a rule. Since Lisa made most of the supper, I do the dishes. Normally, I would tell you to visit with the others, but I'd like to speak to you." Patrick spoke, beginning to run the water while Dylan made his appearance with the rest of the dirty dishes, "And Dylan wants to speak to you as well."

"Do you love her?" Dylan finally broke his quiet domineer as he opened a drawer where the dishcloths and drying towels were.

Tom mulled the question overtaking his time to answer in a way that would be completely honest. These two men were the most important in your life, and he wanted to ensure they knew he was serious about the relationship.

"I do. I think I fell in love on our second date." Tom mused, thinking back to the beautiful picnic in a low-key park. A stroke of luck had kept the date under-wrap and didn't find itself way into the media, "She's everything I've ever wanted. She's kind, caring, emotionally mature, and while she isn't in the industry, she understands."

"That's Y/N." Dylan softly spoke, "I'm just surprised we didn't know it was you. I only heard she was going on dates, but we never got a name."

"It was a mutual decision to keep our relationship private from everyone. We went into the relationship hesitant, but we both have spoken about our future. We've been together for nine months now, and we're ready to meet each other's family's officially." Patrick and Dylan listened carefully to the man that had a steady blush growing and a soft loving grin.

"And?" Patrick asked, stopping his motions to put his full attention on the young British man.

"We'd like to keep the relationship private from the media, but I am going to announce that I'm seeing someone if it comes up." Tom finished as he passed a dry plate to Dylan. Tom's head peaked to see that you were sitting with your sister and mother in the living room, "I know I don't have to ask for permission, but I wanted to ask for your blessing. I'd like to ask Y/N to marry me, and I'm okay with waiting a while to ask or even a long engagement for our families to get to know us."

Dylan was scrutinizing the nervous, but sure body language was enough for him to stop his uncharacteristic behaviour. At that moment Dylan knew that Tom was a lot more mature than he had been at his age; the fame Tom had gotten hadn't gone to his head; this Tom was just like any other average guy.

"Well, you have my blessing," Patrick responded

"So, what's your favourite baseball team?" Dylan asked with a giant grin that he shared with his sisters. Just as he asked, you walked into the kitchen after an interrogation from the other O'Brien women.

"I haven't really been to a game," Tom admitted chuckling at the gasp the older actor released. His head came down to rest on yours as you wrapped your arms around his midsection.

"Already trying to sway him to the Mets?" You joked turning to face the males, Dylan had put the last dish away while Patrick rinsed the sink clean.

Julia made her appearance by poking you in the side just as she had since you were a child that led to a small squeal falling from your lips. The squeal that made an amused smile appear on everyone in the room, including you.

"Don't you know that's a requirement to be part of this family." Julia joked tilting her head to scrutinize the only person in the room that piqued her interest. Julia never expected you to fall for an actor, let alone a British one, "So where will you two be living?"

"Julia!" You whined, shaking your head at your older sister. Her words fell silent when the gate in your backyard opened to your neighbours and closest family friends, "Hey look! The Taylor's are here!"

You rushed out the room dragging Tom with you to meet your childhood friends and family, the Taylors. The Taylors consisted of Trevor and Jason along with their two children Sadie and Eric, one of two same-sex couples that lived in your vicinity. In fact, you had shared your first kiss with Sadie when you were ten, in that experience, you discovered you weren't into Sadie; Sadie went on to have a crush on Julia for three years.

"Y/N!" Sadie exclaimed practically tackling you into a hug. Her blonde hair brushing against your cheek as she pulled back, her features hadn't changed since the last time you saw her. Sadie was a gymnast at UCLA with a fast track to the Olympics.

"Tom, this is my best friend, Sadie. Sadie this is my boyfriend, Tom." You introduced the two while Eric made his way over. Eric was born a year older than you born at the beginning of 1994 while you were born in the late part of 1995.

A trait that Tom had was adapting to every situation and making friends with everyone, and that's what he did the next two hours with the Taylors. He made no judgment on the Taylor's or even Julia for their sexual orientation, he accepted everyone.

"We should head back." Tom murmured against your head, sitting by the fire he had positioned you to sit between his legs with his arms and a blanket wrapped around you two. Your eyes were slowly blinking away the sleep while Dylan cast a soft smile at you; he may have trouble seeing you with someone, but you looked happy.

"We're gonna head out." You spoke to the people surrounding the fire. Your family and friends made their goodbyes as you and Tom took in your drinks and the blanket. Once your bottles were disposed of and a blanket folded into the basket, you left, "What did you think?”

"That I'm going to have to buy a Mets jersey." Tom joked, tapping his thumbs against the steering wheel, "I had a great time. I love your family, there just like mine, and I know where you get your looks and personality from."

"Dylan didn't intimidate you too much?" You smiled tilting your head to stare at him. Tom shook his head, "I'm happy you guys get along."

"Now, you get to meet my family." Tom winked taking your hand in his to rest on his thigh while you got comfortable to sleep for the hour ride home. Tom glanced at your sleeping features with a decision in mind, he would make sure to remember the ring he had nestled in a hidden compartment to London.

[wild3flow3r]

Chapter Nineteen

November 6th

Lorelai never imagined herself in a long distance relationship. For years she believed that it would be nearly impossible for those types of relationships to work out. But now, she goes to bed every night hoping hers will work out in the end. Both she and Harry were giving it their all. They texted each other throughout the day constantly, updating the other on even the smallest of things that had happened in their life. They set up video chat dates so they could eat meals together, although it was usually when Lorelai was eating breakfast and Harry lunch. Neither of them have been able to travel to the other at all since their reconciliation in August, but it didn’t deter either of them.

“What’re you doing tonight?” Harry asks her during their video chat this morning. It’s eight in the morning for Lorelai, so Harry is on his lunch break now. The morning was the easiest time for them to catch each other.

“Will probably just come home and get some takeaway. You?” Lorelai props her phone up onto her bathroom counter and then puts some toothpaste on her toothbrush.

She watches the way Harry’s shoulders slump down. A frown slowly etches itself onto his face. “It’s Isabel’s Winter Recital tonight, and she’s been begging me non stop for the last two weeks to attend. Everyone will be there, Gemma said she invited everyone.”

Lorelai sends him a sympathetic look with the toothbrush in her mouth. Finally after she rinses, she says, “You don’t have to talk to them if you don’t want to Harry, no matter how many times they try to force it. Just stick with Gemma and Zachary the whole time and focus on Isabel.”

Harry nods. He’s still extremely upset with Laura and Xavier, and rightly so. He hasn’t given either of them the time of day since he found out. Usually, he skips the family events he doesn’t really have to attend, but he’d feel terrible if he missed birthday parties and concerts, especially when they’re for his niece and nephew. According to Harry, the few times he’s been around Laura and Xavier, or really Laura specifically, she tries to corner him so that he’s forced to listen to her. Usually Gemma or her husband Peter can help him escape, but the one time there wasn’t anyone around to help him he had told his mother he hated her. Harry felt guilty about that now, but she’d pushed too hard too soon instead of giving him the time he needed.

“How are things with Zachary going?”

“We’re… better. He’s a little more helpful with the firm and everything. He knows what he did was fucked up, and he knows I won’t really ever forgive him nor do I think he would change anything that he’s done. And not that either of us will forget about it, but we’re just going to move on in our lives and turn over a new leaf, I guess.”

Harry’s been going to therapy for the last two weeks. He was so hesitant to start, and it took Lorelai almost a month to convince him to just try one session. She saw the way everything was tearing him up inside, and with her on the other side of the world she wanted him to talk about it properly with someone. He really took to it, and now he goes twice a week. Lorelai is already seeing the small improvements he’s making, especially on the Zachary topic. Before, he had no idea on how to feel with Zachary. He was a man Harry hated for the entirety of his life, a man he believed to be his father, and then suddenly he was the only person in his family Harry felt like he could truly trust. That takes a toll on a person.

“Well tell Gemma I say hi, and congratulate Isabel for me. I’m sure she’ll be amazing.”

Harry leans his chin on his palm. “I’ll film it for you.”

Lorelai nods, a smile gracing her face. “I can’t wait to see it.”

Harry stays silent for a moment. His wide green eyes scan up and down her face slowly. “I wish you could’ve been here to see it yourself.”

Lorelai smiles, but it’s a sad one that’s hard to keep on her face. “I know. I wish I could be there too, babe.”

Harry sighs, letting out a storm of feelings with that one breath. “I miss you, Skipper.”

“I miss you too. I’ll be home for Christmas though. You sure you’re family is okay with you missing their big party this year?”

“Gem and the kids were a bit upset, but as long as we go to their house for New Year’s then they’re okay with it. Besides, I really want to see what it’s like to not have to wear a suit on Christmas Day. There’s pictures of me at ten months old wearing a onesie designed as a tuxedo.”

Lorelai shakes her head, small giggles erupting from her at the image of baby Harry. “You have to wear pajamas all day, the Sterling’s won’t have it any other way.”

Harry grins but then his watch beeps out an alarm and a frown steals the smile away. “I’ve got a meeting in a few minutes.”

Lorelai nods. “That’s okay. I’ve got to leave now anyways if I want to make it on time.”

“I’ll text you tonight.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

With one final wave, Lorelai ends the call. Her heart always aches as soon as her screen turns black. The silence always seems too much in her apartment after one of their calls. Lorelai presses her palms against her eyes as if to wade off the tears she feels coming on. Once she’s calmed down, she grabs her purse and leaves.

***

Lorelai has found Brian to be more tolerable after the last month of so. He could still be terribly annoying, but he had started being nicer to her. It was relieving, actually, because now she had at least one person in this office who would talk to her besides Mister Cunningham.

“What’re you doing tonight, Sterling?”

Brian has taken to walking Lorelai out of the building every night. He’d stay as late as her, although he had been doing that before his mood change, and start packing up as soon as she would.

Lorelai tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “Sleep, honestly,” she replies. Exhaustion always hit her once she stood up from her desk every day to call it a night.

“Why don’t you come to the bar with me?”

“I… What?”

“Some others from the marketing department will be there. We can grab a couple of drinks and watch whatever game is on.”

Lorelai’s steps falter, but only momentarily. This is what she wanted in the beginning, hadn’t it? To be included in the small things so that she wouldn’t be so alone? And even if she has Harry back, she’s still alone in this city. Without much thought, Lorelai replies with a simple, “Yes.”

The bar is only a few streets away, close enough to her apartment even that she knows she’ll feel comfortable walking home even if she drinks enough to get past tipsy. There are three men and two other women waiting at a table for them. Brian introduces all of them to her, but their names blend in with the sounds of the crowd.

Lorelai sticks to Brian’s side for most of the night, seeing that he’s the only one she really knows. She’s on her second drink an hour later when she feels the effects of the alcohol start to take place. It’s a nice buzz though, one she hadn't felt in a long time. Brian wraps his arm around the back of her chair, but Lorelai doesn’t even notice it. She’s too focused on the Football game on the screen just as most of the other people in the bar are. And honestly, she’s having a lot of fun.

She starts her third drink when her cell phone buzzes on the counter in front of her. Lorelai takes her eyes off of the television screen to see Harry’s name pop across her cell phone. Lorelai clicks the message open. He’s sent a video, presumably of Isabel singing, and then a picture of himself with Isabel and Danny, their faces all squished together to make sure they all fit within the selfie. Finally, a text message appears.

They both say hi and that they miss you loads. X

Give them big hugs from me xxxx

Bell’s says not to worry too much about missing her concert. She’ll give you a full rendition of it on New Years.

Tell her I can’t wait <3

The bar surrounding Lorelai breaks into loud cheers, frightening her so much that her phone slips out of her hands. It lands on the floor, and before she’s even gotten the chance to get it, Brian leans over to pick it up himself. He smiles at her when he hands it back, but he can’t help but to take a peek at her lit up screen.

Brian’s eyebrows raise. He probably sees the picture. “You got a family back home that I don’t know about?” He teases, although he treads lightly just in case it was true.

Lorelai shakes her head. “It’s just Harry with his niece and nephew,” she clarifies, as if Brian should know who Harry is.

“And Harry is your… boyfriend?”

Lorelai hesitates. They haven’t given each other the official titles back yet, but they had promised to be exclusive when they decided to give what they have another shot. Finally, Lorelai nods. “Sort of.”

“Sort of? So that means I’ve still got a chance?”

Now Lorelai frowns. “A chance at what?”

“I… well… Never mind.” Brian looks back up to the television screen, his eyes tinging just the lightest shade of pink.

“No Brian. Tell me. A chance at what?”

“Well… You’re attractive Lorelai. And I think you’re funny, and you’re unbelievably good at your job which makes you even so much more to me. I thought, well, I thought you would think of this as a date.”

Lorelai stares at him with an eyebrow raised. “A date? With your marketing friends sitting right next to us?”

“I know it’s shit, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be considered as one.”

“I don’t consider it as one.”

“Well why not?”

“Because I have Harry! I’m with Harry!”

“Not really if you’re only ‘sort of’ his girlfriend.”

“The labels are complicated right now, but that doesn’t mean me and him aren’t all in on this relationship.”

“Then where is he right now? Why aren’t you with him now?”

“Because he’s in London! It’s kind of hard to get to him right now.”

Brian shakes his head. “He’s all the way in London? You’d rather be with a guy in an entire different continent then with a guy who can sit right next to you every night?”

“I’m not going to be here forever, Brian! Just a few years to build up my resume, and then I plan on finding a job back in the UK.” Lorelai’s been thinking a lot about this since August when Harry had come to visit her. She could last a few years separated from him, but not forever.

“You could run Cunningham’s company. You could become the CFO when Walters retires in two years. You’d give all of that up for him?”

“There’s no guarantee I’ll become CFO. Cunningham is more likely to give it to you. You’ve got more experience, you’ve been working with the company longer, and we all know Walters likes you best. And besides, there’s more than just Harry back in England. My entire family is there, and god I miss them so much too. I would never make a decision like that based off of one boy, I’d make it based off of what’s best for me. And going back to England in a few years, that is what’s best for me.”

Brian rolls his eyes. He obviously wasn’t taking this rejection well. “You’re making a mistake, Lorelai.”

Lorelai stands and grabs her phone and purse. She doesn’t even spare the rest of her party a look, although she knows they’ve been staring at her and Brian for a while now. “And you’re being an arsehole, Brian. Worry about you own goddamn life, and stop taking so much interest in mine because you will never be a part of it.”

Lorelai storms away from Brian and the bar, taking large steps back to her apartment. She just can’t believe him. What made him think he had the right to say those things? He knows nothing about her, her life, or her relationship with Harry. There’s nothing he could say that would make her second guess her decision. She’d tell Harry all about it, but first thing in the morning when she hadn’t consumed a few drinks first. Because that’s who she and Harry were, adults who could communicate with each other, especially now after everything.

[edxwin-elric]

Newborn Nights

Rating: M (not smut? but more adult than Teen)

Pairing: Edwin/Edward Elric x Winry Rockbell

Disclaimer: I don’t own Fullmetal Alchemist.

Word Count: 905

Title: Newborn Nights

Description: Edwin Drabble/Fluff

New parents, with messed up sleep schedules, are up late at night with their newborn blessing.

A/N: Surprise! It’s in third person. I hope you like it.

ffn || ao3

Winry smiled quietly to herself from her place on the bed as she watched Ed pace back and forth across the floor of their bedroom. If she looked at the carpet, she could see the carpet beginning to form tracks. Pulling her knee up to her chest, she rested one cheek on it and sighed as her husband continued to bounce and talk softly to the bundle in his arms.

“You can put him down, you know?” she asked lazily, her pretty voice startling him.

“I know,” he muttered, glancing over at her, never pausing the rhythm of his arms. “But he might wake up.”

“He’s going to wake up in…” Winry looked over at the clock on the nightstand and silently calculated the time since his last feeding. “Twenty minutes anyway, so why not take a break?”

“And do what?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” She rolled her eyes. “Come cuddle with your wife?”

Ed stopped pacing and looked over at her.

“I do miss that.”

Winry threw a hand out in a “what are you waiting for?” gesture.

“But aren’t you exhausted?” Ed continued, starting to pace and bounce again. “It’s after two am. Maybe you should get some sleep.”

“Did you not hear me say he would be up in twenty minutes? There’s no point in me going to sleep now.”

“Winry,” he said slowly, sitting down beside her, cradling the baby to his chest, “you have to sleep.”

“And I will…after his next feeding.”

Edward opened his mouth to argue when Winry’s hand on his cheek stopped him.

“Ed, please. Just go put our son in the bassinette and come lie down with me.”

She watched as he looked down at the fragile newborn in his arms, so tiny in comparison to his father’s strong hands.

“Yeah, okay.”

Kissing her cheek, Edward rose and very carefully placed his son in his bassinette at Winry’s bedside before walking around the mattress and sliding under the covers beside his wife. Immediately, Winry snuggled up to him, fitting her body against his.

“God, I miss you,” she mumbled.

“I’m literally right here.”

“Shut up. I’m in heaven. Your body is hot and hard and amazing.”

Ed felt his face heat at her words, but even so, he felt pride rush through his veins. Sliding his arms around her back, he rested his nose in her hair.

“If you fall asleep, I understand,” he murmured.

“If I fall asleep, it won’t be for very long. My breasts are already starting to feel heavy.”

“He drinks so much. I can’t believe how often he feeds with how tiny he is.”

“And how much he drinks,” Winry yawned.

“I guess our kid really likes milk.”

“Strange, considering his father’s take on it.”

“Hey,” Ed snapped instantly, “that has nothing to do with this. Just because I don’t like milk from cows doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like your milk.”

Winry froze and looked up at him.

“Did you just say…”

“Well, it’s not like I’m going to actually try any,” Edward sputtered. “I just meant, you know, it might be different–”

“I mean, if you really want to try some, I can squeeze some into a glass for you–”

“That’s really not necessary.”

“Or…you could drink it straight from the source.”

Winry pulled the sheet down to give him an eyeful of her thinly veiled chest, at which he groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Would you cut it out? I’m not drinking your milk. And quit trying to seduce me! It hasn’t been six weeks yet. You know we can’t–”

“I can’t have sex,” she finished for him. “I know. I know. And if you’re that turned off by it, I’ll stop bringing up the breastmilk, but I just thought you might…”

“I mean…I might. Maybe.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Maybe,” he repeats firmly. “But not for four more weeks.”

Winry opened her mouth to respond when a sharp cry cut through the room.

“I guess that means it’s been twenty minutes,” Ed muttered.

“Can you get him for me?” Winry asked as she fumbled with the front of her shirt. “If he cries any longer I’m going to start leaking.”

“Yeah. I got him.”

Quickly, Edward retrieved the screaming infant and passed him off to Winry. Almost instantly, the baby found the little pink bud with his mouth and began suckling. Winry leaned back into the pillow and exhaled, her eyes drifting closed.

“Are you going to fall asleep now?” Ed asked softly, sitting down beside her and stroking her hair off her forehead.

“I might. Something about feeding makes me drowsy.”

“It’s probably the hormones or other brain chemicals moving around. I could look into it. Actually, I bet there’s something in your parents’ old medical journals–”

“Edward, shh,” his wife mumbled drowsily. “Just keep an eye on us, okay?”

“Always, Winry.”

As his wife fed their son, Edward stretched out beside them, resting his elbow in the pillow beside Winry’s head with his head in his hand. His other arm he rested over his waist and under his son. Leaning down to kiss her temple, Edward closed his eyes and let the feeling of pure joy fill him. This was his family he had in his arm. He loved them so much he could shout it from the rooftop.

But for now, he was too busy watching over them.

[the-kiwi-is-not-a-pewee]

3 of Sadie’s arcs throughout TKC - a mapping

@jurakan  I might’ve missed some things but this is as comprehansive as I could make it:

Responsibility/Parents Arc -

This arc revolves around Sadie realizing that when she has to choose between what she wants and saving millions of lives she has to accept that she has to make that sacrifice (this is different from the birthday and dance thing, because she has a third option to do both without a lot of people dying. Is there risk? Yes, more so for the former than the latter because there’s a hard deadline, but it’s not a decision she has to make on the spot like ��free your dad and the world will bear the consequences” vs. “bear the consequences and millions of lives will be saved”.) It’s also intertwined with her grief over her mom and the blame she places on her dad for her death and the catharsis she gets from emotionally spilling to him at the climax of The Red Pyramid.

*Red Pyramid*

- “I was determined not to be like them, living in the past. I barely remembered Mum, after all, and nothing could change the fact that she was dead. But I did keep the one picture... But the main reason I’d kept the photo was because of the symbol on Mum’s T-shirt: one of those life symbols - an ankh. My dead mother wearing the symbol for life. Nothing could’ve been sadder”(33). Our first peek into how Sadie feels about her mother’s death. Despite her saying that she was determined to not live in the past like her grandparents, the photograph betrays that she hasn’t quite completely moved on from it. 

- “’...Young man, your father has committed a criminal act. He’s left you behind to deal with the consequences-’ ‘That’s not true!’ I snapped, my voice trembling with rage. I couldn’t believe Dad would intentionally leave us at the mercy of the police, of course. But the idea of him abandoning me - well, as I might have mentioned, that’s a bit of a sore point’”(41). Sadie says it herself here, she’s not quite over what she perceived as her dad abandoning her.

-” “I realized I was crying. I hated to, but shock and fear were starting to overwhelm me. Where did I want to go? Home, of course! Back to my flat in London—back to my own room, my grandparents, my mates at school and my old life. But I couldn’t. I had to think about my father and our mission”(236). This kinda also fits here because she’s putting the mission over what she wants: to go home.

-”’All right,” I relented. “If I had to, then I suppose...I suppose I would save the world.” Horrible guilt crushed down on me. What kind of daughter was I? I clutched the tyet amulet on my necklace—my one remembrance of Dad. I know some of you lot will be thinking: You hardly ever saw your dad. You barely knew him. Why would you care so much? But that didn’t make him any less my dad, did it? Or the thought of losing him forever any less horrible. And the thought of failing him, of willingly choosing to let him die even to save the world— what sort of awful person was I?”(392). This bit doesn’t so much imply she learned how to put the world above her personal wants, but that she already would. Not without hesitation and horrible, emotional conflict, but she’d still do it in the end. It’s more of her discovering this of herself.

-”’To die?’ I demanded. “Isis should’ve helped her. You should’ve helped her. I hate you!” As soon as I said it, something broke inside me. I started to cry. I realized I’d wanted to say that to my dad for years. I blamed him for Mum’s death, blamed him for leaving me. But now that I’d said it, all the anger drained out me, leaving me nothing but guilt... ‘To save the world, would you sacrifice your father?’ ‘I don’t want to,’ I said. ‘Please’”(471). The arc culminates here, with Sadie releasing her pent-up feelings about her mother’s death and accepting that she has to sacrifice her father, that there is no third option this time. She gets her catharsis and overcomes her reservations that were there when she first admitted to Anubis that she’d sacrifice her dad to save the world.

*Throne of Fire*

-”I simply said, “It’s a bad idea.” And yes, it felt quite strange being forced to play the responsible sibling”(216). Sadie being the responsible sibling here... ironically. Trying to stay on track, but at the same time makes the third option so Carter gets what he wants and they also get what they need, even though they’re cutting it close. This isn’t exactly the same situation as her father in a coffin as this isn’t one way or the highway, but it’s her staying on task.

Balancing Old and New Life + Where She Belongs Arc -

This particular arc is more of a slowburn because it spans all 3 books as opposed to the Responsibility/Dad Arc. Sadie grapples with trying to fit her old and new lives together because she doesn’t want to let go of her old one but her new life won’t let her go back. They both bleed into each other in different ways, thus why the balance is necessary. Her old life leaks into her new life in the form of missing her life in London, her grandparents, her friends, etc. Her new life intrudes by, well, not leaving her alone (examples: Babi and Nekhbet ambushing her in London, the deadline, Anubis and Shu showing up at the school dance). The culmination is at the end of The Serpent’s Shadow, when she summons Ma’at out of necessity instead of desperation and doesn’t die from it.

*Red Pyramid*

- “I just stared at him. I couldn’t remember any home except this flat. My mates at school, my room, everything I knew was here. ‘Where am I supposed to go?’”(43). Good establishing point for the start of this particular arc and the attachment she has to her home in London. It’s all she ever knew. 

- “I realized I was crying. I hated to, but shock and fear were starting to overwhelm me. Where did I want to go? Home, of course! Back to my flat in London—back to my own room, my grandparents, my mates at school and my old life. But I couldn’t. I had to think about my father and our mission”(236). The first point I could find where Sadie really expresses that she’s still attached to her old life and missing it is bleeding over into her new life to the point she’s getting emotional. But her new life is preventing her from going back because she and Carter have their mission and she recognizes it as more important. Most of the “missing home” moments are most frequent in the first book, and recording them would just be repeating myself. There’s some on pages 196, 400, and 432 though.

*Throne of Fire*

-”’It’s more than that.’ Emma studied my face as if I was turning into something quite frightening. ‘You seem older. More mature.’ Her voice was tinged with sadness, and I realized my mates and I were growing apart. It was as if we stood on opposite sides of a widening chasm. And I knew with gloomy certainty the breach was already too wide for me to jump back across”(118). A display of how Sadie feels she’s too far gone into her new life to return to her old life with no consequence. It’s here she realizes this, with her new life intruding with Babi and Nekhbet and later her old life having to be left behind when her friends can’t come along for the rest of the mission.

*Serpent’s Shadow*

- “She immediately understood what I needed. Together, we tried to find calm in the Chaos. I focused on the most peaceful, well-ordered moments of my life—and there weren’t many. I remembered my sixth birthday party in Los Angeles with Carter, my dad and mum—the last clear memory I had of all of us together as a family. I imagined listening to music in my room at Brooklyn House while Khufu ate Cheerios on my dresser. I imagined sitting on the terrace with my friends, having a restful breakfast as Philip of Macedonia splashed in his pool. I remembered Sunday afternoons at Gran and Gramps’s flat—Muffin on my lap, Gramps’s rugby game on the telly, and Gran’s horrible biscuits and weak tea on the table. Good times, those were. Most important, I faced down my own chaos. I accepted my jumbled emotions about whether I belonged in London or New York, whether I was a magician or a schoolgirl. I was Sadie Kane, and if I survived today, I could bloody well balance it all”(348). The culmination of the arc is right here, when Sadie finally accepts that she can balance both her lives and who she is. She can be belong both in London and New York, she can be both a schoolgirl and a magician. She can reconcile both parts of her life.

Understanding Carter Arc -

Sadie is the one who understands their sibling the least. And probably holds the most resentment over envying the other’s situation. Both of the siblings have the initial problem of not understanding each other and envying each other for different reasons, but it’s more important for Sadie to understand how much pressure Carter felt, to be strong for his dad and keep up with his expectations. Also Carter isn’t quite so hung up on Sadie getting to spend time with their grandparents, unlike Sadie with their dad.

*Red Pyramid*

- “When you only see each other twice a year, it’s like you’re distant cousins rather than siblings. We had absolutely nothing in common except our parents”(8). Establishes Carter and Sadie don’t really know each other well and thus don’t really understand each other. It’s to the point that they feel their bond is only by blood. Of course, they grow closer as the series progresses, but this is their initial starting point that they have.

- “I sighed in exasperation. ‘Poor boy, forced to travel the world, skip school, and spend time with Dad while I get a whole two days a year with him!’ ‘Hey!’ Carter turned on me with surprising force. ‘You get a home! You get friends and a normal life and don’t wake up each morning wondering what country you’re in! You don’t-’ The glass case next to us shattered, spraying glass at our feet”(133). This technically goes both ways. They both want each other’s lives and it’s a touchy subject for both of them, given how the glass shattered and things only start breaking around them when emotions are high (like the birthday cake). They both only see the pros of the other’s life and not the cons, or they don’t understand the cons.

- “After our last argument in New York, I wasn’t sure how I felt about my brother. The idea that he could be jealous of my life while he got to travel the world with Dad—please! And he had the nerve to call my life normal? All right, I had a few mates at school like Liz and Emma, but my life was hardly easy. If Carter made a social faux pas or met people he didn’t like, he could just move on! I had to stay put. I couldn’t answer simple questions like “Where are your parents?” or “What does your family do?” or even “Where are you from?” without exposing just how odd my situation was. I was always the different girl. The mixed-race girl, the American who wasn’t American, the girl whose mother had died, the girl with the absent father, the girl who made trouble in class, the girl who couldn’t concentrate on her lessons. After a while one learns that blending in simply doesn’t work. If people are going to single me out, I might as well give them something to stare at. Red stripes in my hair? Why not! Combat boots with the school uniform? Absolutely. Headmaster says, “I’ll have to call your parents, young lady.” I say, “Good luck.” Carter didn’t know anything about my life”(170). A display of how Sadie is clearly more hung-up on this than Carter is, considering he doesn’t have an internal rant like she does or even linger on it long. For Sadie, it’s clearly a far more touchy subject but nowhere in here does she consider why Carter wants her life or what he said before the glass shattered. She’s starting to understand him on a surface level as they bond better, but understanding him on a deeper level is not something she’s nailed yet as this shows. 

-”Carter had spoken about Dad as if their travels together had been a great thing, yes, but also quite a chore, with Carter always struggling to please and be on his best behavior, with no one to relax with, or talk to. Dad was, I had to admit, quite a presence. You’d be hard-pressed not to want his approval. (No doubt that’s where I get my own stunningly charismatic personality.) I saw him only twice a year, and even so I had to prepare myself mentally for the experience. For the first time, I began to wonder if Carter really had the better end of the bargain. Would I trade my life for his?”(278) This is when Sadie admits that she’s doubting her previous assertion about how great Carter’s life must’ve been. She begins to understand why Carter wanted her life and how it affected him to be with their dad all the time. It’s a very significant step in understanding him.

*Throne of Fire*

-”And yes, I know that was wrong —but I’d just been inside Carter’s head. I now understood how important Zia was to him. I knew how badly any information about her would rattle him...  One of his darker secrets? Deep down, Carter still resented our father for failing to save our mum, even though she had died for a noble cause, and even though it was her choice to sacrifice herself. Carter simply could not fail Zia in the same way, no matter what the stakes. He needed someone to believe in him, someone to save—and he was convinced Zia was that person. Sorry, a little sister just wouldn’t do”(215). Sadie understands why Zia is so important to Carter, a direct contrast to when he saw her off on her birthday, when he didn’t quite understand why Sadie was so insistent on taking a break. But of course, that doesn’t mean there isn’t some resentment in either situation.

*Serpent’s Shadow*

-”A year ago, even six months ago, the idea of my brother’s being given that kind of responsibility would’ve horrified me as well...  When I had learned his secret name, I’d seen one very clear trait woven into his character: leadership”(327-328). Here Sadie learning Carter’s secret name circles back to her supporting him for a role he doesn’t feel ready for. She almost understands him better than he does himself, and while she does abuse it for some slapstick occasionally, she helps him step up to the role.

[resetmypatientviolence]

Their First Christmas (Drake x MC) [Part 1 of 2]

Pairing: Drake x Jaela

Word Count: 2,950

Rating: PG

Warnings: Language

Song Accompaniment: So This Is Christmas-- John Lennon

Description: In this two-part fic, Drake’s upset he has to miss most of their first December as a married couple due to a work trip. He loves the Christmas season. Jaela, meanwhile... doesn’t really care. That is, until she married Drake Walker.  

Author Note: Happy Holidays all! Enjoy some fluff, and enjoy happy Drake and Jaela! Thank you so much for reading! Part two should go up tomorrow-- I think you might have an idea of what comes next....

Jaela hasn't stopped pacing since Drake texted her, announcing his arrival after a three-week trip. Her stomach flips. He'll be home soon. Too soon-- or not soon enough? Jaela doesn't know, smoothing down her hair, a complete nervous wreck for the first time in their marriage, still fresh, shiny, and new.

How will he react? Angry? Happy? Sad? Confused? She kept everything under wraps, making sure that no Skype call revealed anything. Oh god—what if she messed up everything and did things wrong and—“Stop thinking, Jae!” She snaps to herself, moving her hands from hair to her sides, smoothing down the fabric of her dress, not a wrinkle in sight. She keeps her eyes downcast in the foyer, silently counting her steps when the heel clicks on the floor. “He’ll love it, he’ll love it… I’m not an idiot…”

It’s a minimal comfort, one violently ripped from her when the doorknob turns. Breathless, Jaela snaps her head up, lips tight, as the door opens to reveal her husband. The moment of truth. Now or never.

*

Drake's packing for his trip with Liam-- a too long, three-week trip to Asia, working on trade negotiations and strengthening Cordonia's alliances with countries there. He leaves in the morning, his other suitcase all ready to go. Jaela sits on the bed, playfully pouting and batting her lashes at him as she folds his socks and endless supply of white t-shirts while Drake organizes his suitcase for casual clothes.

“… but this is your first big trip and we’ve only been married a few months,” Jaela huffs, setting a pair of socks down. She wondered why he was sulking at dinner one night—and it wasn’t until she pestered him enough, even asking during sex, that he told her he’d be leaving in two weeks for three weeks. Jaela swears they just got back from their honeymoon, weeks passing by in a blink of an eye. Much like their whirlwind of a wedding and saving Cordonia.

Drake pauses and sighs, looking up. He smiles at her expression, Jaela returning one back. He reaches out, stroking her cheek, thumb running over her cheekbone, eyes softening. "I know. I’d stay here all day with you, if I could. But I guess I need to learn this diplomacy thing somehow.” Jaela’s smile falls—she’ll always be a bit guilty at that, forcing Drake into this noble life. But… he said he’ll learn. “You know I’ll miss you like crazy.”

"Duh," Jaela says, leaning into his touch, hand fully cupping her cheek now. “You know I’ll miss you like crazy. This big duchy all to myself, no husband to keep me entertained… no new locations to defile for weeks on end…”

Drake chuckles, tapping her nose, resuming his suitcase organization. Jaela goes back to the socks, still smiling. “It’ll suck, missing you. That’ll be the worst for me,” she says quietly. Clouds gather outside, fitting of the mood to come. “We haven’t been apart for that long since… since I came back to Cordonia, for the Engagement tour.” She slows, lips twitching. Him in a coma didn’t count, because she was there. Or after��� well, that didn’t count either.

Drake stops again, tilting his head in thought. Jaela pauses, sock in hand, waiting for him to speak. She’s still figuring out his tells, but this one is obvious. “Missing you will be the worst. But I guess… the timing of it sucks. I’m missing most of December. I was… hoping to spend the month with you.”

Jaela cocks an eyebrow, scooting to the edge of the bed, swinging her legs off the edge. “You can spend any month of forever with me,” she says, taking his hand. Drake moves, standing in front of her—showing off his puppy dog eyes-- pushing her hair back with the other, kissing her forehead after. Jaela continues. “What’s so special about December, anyways?”

Drake frowns, eyebrow furrowed, the corner of his lip twitching. He confused, she notes. “What’s so…” Then the confusion lifts, his eyebrows lifting. He squeezes her hand. “Oh. You don’t… you don’t celebrate it. You didn’t grow up doing anything and… ah, nevermind.” He flushes and turns from her, running a hand through his hair. “I forgot… sorry.”

“Oh, you…” Jaela stands, heat in her face, too. They had a hell of a year. And there’s still so much to learn. “You wanted to do Christmas things with me this month.” She’s never celebrated Christmas. Aside from the activities she did in school or the one time she was with a foster family over Christmas. She didn’t get as many gifts as their kids did, but the gesture was nice.

“Er… yeah, if you… it’s a stupid idea. I should have known you don’t like it or…”

“Hey, hey, hey…” He upset, beating himself up over it, she knows. Quickly, Jaela stands and wraps her arms around his waist, cheek on his back. “Just because I used to practice Islam and now don’t believe in anything doesn’t mean I’m anti-Christmas. I know we’ve never talked about family traditions and stuff…”

He sets his hands over hers and squeezes them. “There’s a lot we haven’t learned…”

“I know. But we will, in time. Can you tell me why you’ll miss it so much? I mean, you’ll be back before Christmas. We can get a tree when you’re back and presents and stuff.”

Drake sighs and turns, holding her hands in his. “It’s not… not just about that. And what? We have the tree up for a week and then it’s down? It’s about the season. Enjoying the lights, the sights, the feelings…. It’s my favorite and I… I knew you really don’t celebrate it but… I wanted to experience all these things with you, to have you do things maybe for the first time, make our own traditions and just…” He sighs. “It’s silly, but I wanted to really see this place all done up for a bit. Now… what’s the point if I’m gone? You get that, right?”

She doesn't. Of course she’s done Christmas activities with friends and knows how the world shifts—and she lived in New York from eighteen to twenty-four. It’s hard to avoid Christmas.

But she sees why he’s upset, sad he’s missing out on this with her, wanting to hold her hand and show her all he loves about the season and—wait, she has it. Her eyes flit across his face, a sad one, just wanting to see her react to new, holiday things with him. It’s pure. And she… she can manage Christmas cheer for him. An idea is brewing, but she contains a smile, kissing him tenderly instead, squeezing his hands. "I think I do. But... work is work and I'll be here, waiting for you, when you get back. We’ll get the biggest tree and enjoy it and cram all of the Christmas things we can. Maybe there’ll be snow when you get back, too.”

Drake chuckles. "Well… it’ll be something. There’s always next year, too. We can go all out then.”

Jaela nods. “Plus, I’ll give you some festive Skype shows…” Her stomach drops in want when Drake’s pupils grow, and he grips her ass, pulling her close.

“Mm… that might make up for a few things I’ll miss with you…”

“Mmhmm… I know you like red on me….”

“Like it better when it’s off…”

And packing for Drake’s trip is the last thing they think of for the next two hours.

*

“Put the third tree uh… shit.”

There’s already two. One in the throne room, giant, and the other in their private living room, one for themselves and their friends, where they feel like they can be normal, if for a little. She didn’t expect to get three trees… but she didn’t want to stop with one. Another one had to be placed where Drake would be the most, when he gets back. And the third…

“The master bedroom?” Jaela says, then nods to the staff carrying it. “Yes, the master bedroom.” They’ll spend a lot of time in there… and she thinks he’ll like it. Well, she hopes. Why wouldn’t he? This is his favorite holiday, apparently. Soft as marshmallow.

She glances down at her checklist of everything to make Valtoria festive as possible for Drake’s return. It’s not that she doesn’t know what’s needed for Christmas—she’s no idiot. It’s a barrage of Santa’s and Christmas trees and decorations the moment it’s November 1st, and she’s lived with that her whole life.

It’s not that she often went over to friends’ homes who weren’t a part of her community as a child, but when she did, there were the decorations and carefully wrapped presents. If she was in a foster home in November or January, sometimes there were the beginnings or endings of the holiday season. She enjoyed peppermint everything. She’s posed and skated at Rockerfeller center and knows most of the words to Christmas Carols. A former boyfriend and her binged the Home Alone triology in his dorm. It’s the holiday season—though, as much as they say holiday, it’s Christmas everything—and Jaela knows all the fixings and movies and songs that make it festive.

But she’s never been for it.

The smiles, the cheer—it’s all temporary, false. All in the name of Baby Jesus and Santa Claus—make believe bullshit. Even when she mused with the idea that there was an all-knowing being watching over her (if there was a God out there, why’d they make the first 18 years of her life utter hell?), she knew the season was stupid.

For a baby being born in a barn, everything was so extra. People donating once a year from the goodness of their hearts and then forgetting everything the moment it’s the 26th, as if they did their one good deed for the year and that secured their place in their fictional heaven. Call her a Grinch, but Jaela found it pointless.

She quite liked her “Christmas” traditions when she moved to New York. Usually friends took pity and would invite her to Christmas Eve and that was nice to meet new people. Jaela got them a gift and would bring wine or a sparkling something when she was underage. Sometimes her friends would gather at some point and do their own friend one, a Christmas party which was an excuse to get plastered.

Christmas day, however? The roommate/s would be gone all day and it was just her. If she wasn’t working at night, she’d put on her favorite trash TV, order take-out, and have a fine night, the little 3ft tree bought by her roommate lighting up the room. It was bliss. And the tips she got on Christmas Eve and Day were enough of a gift for her and she enjoyed it. Dumplings and tips were all she needed.

Silently, perhaps, she thanked the fictional baby in the manager for giving her enough money to splurge on something once a year, but otherwise? She doesn’t care for it. It’s just December. It’s another month of the year. At least, it was that until she married Drake, secretly soft for Christmas cheer. She’ll draw the line at Easter, but she can do something for her new husband. Is that what Christmas is about? She can ask him when he’s back.

Needless to say, from decorating the duchy from head to toe, drafting three versions of her “Operation: Surprise Drake with Christmas Cheer” checklist started the day after he left, Jaela handpicking and approving every decoration, the staff working on overdrive all month to prep the duchy for this moment—Jaela’s spent.

But she keeps her head high, wandering the duchy as Christmas music blares throughout, the staff setting up everything, Jaela helping here and there, Drake home in a few hours. She smiles in the throne room, bodies bustling around her, the checklist complete, all but for one thing: Drake Comes Homes.

Under Jaela’s guidance and rules for decorating, (only the real stuff, no silver because it looks tacky, no religious ornaments or managers, Drake doesn’t even go to Church, Santa’s fine to have, make sure we get trees that won’t light on fire, and not one room goes with at least one decoration, for example), Valtoria is transformed.

Before, regal and crisp with a casual warmth, and now… “I think we’re done, Jaela,” bows Gladys and Jaela exhales, smiling.

“I… I think you all are. Please, head home. I’ll do a walk through and can fix anything if needed. Thank you….” She pauses, realizing she’s missing something. “And… Merry Christmas. Happy holidays, if you don’t…”

Gladys laughs lightly. “Happy holidays to you too, Jaela. I know Drake will love this. I’ve never seen Valtoria this beautiful during Christmas. You’re truly worthy of this duchy.” With a quick bow, Gladys leaves and Jaela turns, beginning her walkthrough of her creation—heart hammering, nervous for Drake to see it.

For him to see the winter wonderland she worked so hard to envision, to make sure that he was wrapped in Christmas spirit the moment he walks in the door. Fresh garland wrapped around each bannister, garland around archways and on tables, weaving through pictures, adding an air of coziness and comfort to every room it was found.

Lights—oh the lights—some wound with the garland, others hanging from the walls, some twinkling and making the duchy glow with the warmth of a fireplace, lights like little stars lighting up the high ceilings—just like when they stargazed together (that is, until she looked at him with wonder as the gruff man began to open up, truly, for the first time). The lights are every where and she turns off the main lights as she passes through the rooms, warmth filling her as the soft glow trails behind her.

Decorations, trinkets, bobbles—anything that she found cute, classy, or fitting of its place in Valtoria rests on flat surfaces in every room—and yes, she wanted every room. Some are funny things, such as Santa, and others are simple, and classy. Beads, table clothes switched out for white or gold, penguins, winter scenes on display.

And the smells, oh lord. Jaela’s delighted at how much her baking paid off and how pine mingles with the sugar, tantalizing her senses. Truly, it smells of the season in every room, candles filling in if they’re far enough from the kitchen.

A train set runs around the largest of trees, the one in the throne room, presents that will be donated to local shelters around it. The biggest of trees shines bright, lights wound and ornaments carefully placed, the star big and bold, showy—but Drake will love it. Hopefully. Why is she nervous? He shouldn’t hate anything… but….

The second tree is smaller but still grand, this one decorated solely by her. Maybe the lights aren’t as well placed and she could have found better spots for the ornaments of all colors and shapes, but she loves it, fireplace roaring and the living smelling of cinnamon (much like the kitchen for the past two days, Jaela staying up late to bake as many treats she could think of).

Finally, past the winter wonderland, Jaela heads upstairs, to their master bedroom. Chance is asleep in his dog bed, the lights of the tree shining on him. Jaela leans on the doorframe, a smile curling up. The tree is bare, aside from the lights, but a box of ornaments, a topper, and a garland rests next to it. Good, they listened to her instructions—she wanted the last one to be done by them, together. In the glow of Christmas lights, Jaela wanders to the box of ornaments and picks up one—a custom one she had made, just for him. For them.

It’s a photo from their wedding, the two caught in a kiss at the aisle, their wedding date written below, followed by, the word, “Inevitable”. She touches his face on the picture. Soon. Soon he’ll be home. It isn’t until a tear rolls down her cheek that she realizes she’s crying, and then laughs. Maybe… maybe she’s getting it. After all, why else would she be compelled to deck out Valtoria into something she’s only seen in movies? Or maybe she misses him too much.

Or maybe this is Christmas, she muses, willing to drop everything to see a smile on somebody’s face under those lights. Or maybe she’s just a lovesick puppy for her new husband. Or maybe…

“Tis the fucking season,” she says, setting the ornament down, shaking her head, heading to the closet. He’ll be home… soon. So soon.

And soon, the feeling of warmth is replaced by nervousness, because… it’s time. Now or never. And the door opens, fully revealing the man she missed too much and was willing to offer some holiday cheer for… for the first time in her life.

Drake raises his eyes. He doesn’t speak. He drops his bags, jaw dropped.

Jaela sucks in a breath, his eyes not on her—but behind her. She can’t read this expression.

“Jaela… what… what the hell did you do?”

“I… I gave you Christmas.” She glances up, to the mistletoe. One of five around the duchy. “And I think I’m under a mistletoe. So, I think I’m owed a kiss.”

Lips crashing on to hers are all the answers she needs, melting into his embrace, one she could only dream about between the sugar plum fairies, and that’s when she knows exactly what Christmas feels like: this. Just like this.

Disclaimer: All characters and rights belong to Pixelberry Studios. 

Permatag: @youwontlikewherewewillgo, @mfackenthal, @hhiggs, @jadedpixiescribbles, @ashtonmore, @enmchoices @the-everlasting-dream, @hopefulmoonobject, @krisnicjack, @museofbooks, @ladynonsense, @innerpostmentality, @thatcatlady0716, @lizeboredom, @choicessa, @boneandfur, @tmarie82, @speedyoperarascalparty, @thatspicegirlssong@zigthetwig, @craftytacotrashdream, @blackcoffee85, @quartzandarrow, @akrenich, @trr-fangirl, @christopher-powell, @client-327

Drake: @fairydustandsarcasm

[doctortwhohiddles]

Hello doctorwhohiddles, this is Mom Anon. I’ve decided to cut out the middle man like you suggested. I trust you won’t doxx me, I’ve seen you protesting against it. I’ll answer your questions. I’ll repeat them in bold, so you know which one I’m talking about. It will be a long submission but you have a lot of questions and I have long answers. My answers are in bold.

I will start this letter with one of my favorite quote from Ben. “There are people who believe that my wife is a P.R. stunt and my child is a P.R. stunt,” he says, unsure if he should even be bringing this up—he knows that there’s no arguing with conspiracy theorists. “I think really it’s to do with the idea that the ‘Internet’s boyfriend’ can’t actually belong to anyone else but the Internet. It’s impossible he belongs to anyone but me. And that’s what stalking is. That’s what obsessive, deluded, really scary behavior is.” Yes I know this quote. I’ve always thought (and said) that I think Ben thinks that the most ardent fans, that showed up everywhere, sent gifts and stalk his neighbourhood, are now the skeptics. But even then, what else Could he say? No one (not even skeptics) could expect him to say “yeah it is all a PR-stunt but hey, whatever keeps your name in the papers!” He was going to be asked about it sooner or later and this is the answer I would expect him to give. For someone who says she reads a lot, your reading comprehension seems lacking. From my perspective (and that of 99.9% of the fandom), he was denouncing the so called “skeptics”. He wasn’t ask directly if his family was a PR stunt, he was discussing toxic fans. And you guys definitely are.

Because a normal person knows that faking 3 kids in this day and age is impossible. Specially if you’re in the public eye. I think that especially in this day and age it is possibke to fake a pregnancy with the modern prosthetics and make up techniques. Yeah, but what about after? You can’t fake kids for this long without anyone getting suspicious. So far, the only people who are is a small bunch of bitter women on Tumblr. You know the signer Adele? She forgot to register the birth of her son and it made the news. There is no way Ben could get away with faking kids.

Now think about it for a second, how could someone wear a fake baby bump to numerous public events with a ton of journalists attending and no one notices? How is that even possible? You have kids, you know very well that pregnancies vary from woman to woman. And yet here you are, denying that Sophie was ever pregnant. Why? Honestly, I really want to know. What could possibly drive an adult woman, a mother of three at that, to start denying reality that bad? Is it because you can’t accept that Ben doesn’t belong to you? Is it because you need to pass your unhappiness unto him? I really would like an answer. And no, your skeptical archives don’t count. In fact all they do is prove my point.

I doubt our archive proves your point however, I’ll keep it to pics etc that the nonskeptics have also seen and posted. There is a pic of the second pregnancy where you can actually see the straps of the prosthetic. Then: journalists only see them for like two minutes and then they walk on. The journo’s are snapping away hoping for a good picture so they probably don’t even look closely at them. As for pregnancies: yes they differ per woman and even per pregnancy but it is just not possible for a woman to get on a plan looking seven months pregnant and get off the plane looking two months pregnant. It has been put down to dehydration but that is nonsense, the baby would have died if that had happened in such an amount. She has a low belly on her honeymoon and two months later it is really high? Not possible. The moving and even doubling belly button in the Oscar pics? Not possible. And there are many more examples that have convinced me she was never pregnant. I know you look upon it differently but that is how I feel. As for Ben, I never felt he belonged to me and I am perfectly happy thank you so if I could transfer that to him, he wouldn’t have looked so miserable in so many pictures. But that is another discussion altogether.

It seems we’re going to have to explain the concept of perspective to you guys again. The pap picture of Sophie in a bikini was taken with a telescopic lens and from profile. The one in at the airport are taken from up close, from the front, with Sophie wearing a loose skirt. That’s why her bump looks smaller. Again, the tabloids would have picked up on it if there was something wrong. Also, there are numerous pictures of the both of them looking happy and in love. You just chose to ignore those pictures and concentrate only on the ones you think fits your narrative. As for the belly button, it changes with the bump and the baby’s position. My cousin’s belly button went all over the place during her pregnancy.

Now, why I am spending time reading haters blog, there’s three reasons. The first one is that your lack of logic and butthurt makes me laugh. Lord knows people need to laugh now days. The second of all is fascination. You see, I can’t for the life of me understand why grown women act the way you do. I really can’t. As for the third reason, it’s because I was raised to denounce bullies, not be one. I sincerely hope you are raising your kids to do the same. But judging by your behavior, I can see it’s probably not the case. If anyone were making fun of your children the way you make fun of Ben’s, you’d rip their throats off, with good reason. And yet, you act like a bully towards three young children simply because you’re mad their dad got married without asking you first. Your first reason is also why I read your blogs: trying to find out what you see that I obviously don’t and for a laugh: you are as good at predicting what we are going to say as we know what you are going to say and I don’t mind a laugh at my own expense. Happy to make you laugh. The fact that we can predict exactly what you’re going to say isn’t looking good for you. After 4 years, you guys could at least make the effort to come up with something remotely credible. That also covers the second reason. As for your third reason: I raise my kids not to be bullies but to use their own minds and have their own opinions. And allow others the same without getting mad or insulting about it. What you guys are doing is not having an opinion. Calling someone a whore, a criminal and a fraud is bullying. So is referring to young children as “pillows”. Saying you don’t like what Sophie is wearing is an opinion. Refusing to even call her by her name is also bullying. You’re an adult, how can you not see the difference?  And if someone thinks my kids are not real and refers to them as pillows, that is their business, I would shrug my shoulders. Really? I find this hard to believe. And if it makes anyone happy: the kids I have seen with Ben have always been cuties and looked sweet. I’ve always said so. That doesn’t change the fact that I don’t think they are his. Have you seen the same pictures as me? Because they both look exactly like him. But then again, I don’t wear hate goggles. As soon as anything happens that convinced me that the kids are real, I’ll start calling them by their names. At this point, I’m fairly certain you’ll never admit you were wrong. Ben could come to your house with family in tow, and you’d still deny they’re real. As for Ben getting married without my permission, no one needs my permission to get married so there is no need to ask. Feel free to do so but there is no need. And yet somehow, you fell the need to deny the existence of the family he wanted for so long. If you decided that something was wrong because of red lines painted on pictures, then you’re either incredibly gullible or jealous.

I know you’re going to say it doesn’t count because there is no children, but answer me this: why do fake children have birth certificates? Because faking them is damn near impossible. Some say there are certificates, some say there aren’t. I haven’t checked myself. I don’t know how hard it is to report a birth when there hasn’t been one or if that even happened. I’ll leave that to the wilder theorists out there. There are people who live in England who describe what it takes to register the birth of your child. People, who unlike Gator and Anna, knows what they’re talking about. Apparently, you’d need to bribe at least 70 persons to fake a birth certificate. Imagine doing this 3 times over. Gator has seen the certificate for Kit. Of course, she declared it fake and made up sources to confirm her lies.

So to resume this letter, if you want me to stop calling out your shitty behavior, then stop acting like a bitch towards complete strangers who have never done anything to you. It will also have the added bonus of making your life better. Thanks for the advice. But then, why are you so fanatical about strangers you have never met? Not to mention the things you call the skeptics whom you have also never met and who discuss people you have never met. The difference is that I call out people based of actual evidence, not based on jealousy or entitlement. As I said, bullies need to be called out, and you are one.

I’ll relay your message to Anna. I hope I have answered all your questions. I think we have to agree to disagree. I think it’s very clear that you’ve chosen to keep denying the facts. Honestly, have you ever wondered how a story like the one you’ve made up could be kept out of the news? One the septics sent their “evidence” to the National Enquirer and was turned down. Given how many people you’d have to involve in a conspiracy like this, it’s impossible no one would have talked by now. Your narrative has plot holes the size of a dinosaur, but somehow, you seem to ignore them completely.

Sincerely,

Mom Anon Thank you for answering me and not be mean or insulting. I wish I could say that all of your fellow haters were the same. I hope that one day you’ll come to your senses.

[lostinreality014]

You Look Perfect Tonight - Part III

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3

Author’s Notes: This part took me a little bit longer to write than I’d expected. If it weren’t for the fact that I had the final scene already cemented in my head, I probably would have left Niall’s and Evie’s wedding as a two part piece. This was not an easy part to write and it feels a bit choppy and weak compared to the first two parts, but I’m proud of myself for taking on the challenge. And hopefully you all like it.

Thank you to @imagine-that-one-thing for being my beta once again. Your suggestions and encouragement are very much appreciated. :)

Also Note: this piece is also posted on my Wattpad account.

Photo credits in Banner: Bride & Groom at table;  Reception Hall;  Bride & Groom send off

Any pieces I post here are mine and all rights are reserved. I do not give permission for my work to be posted on any other platform. Unless I explicitly state that I have posted one of my works on another platform, please let me know immediately if you see my writing anywhere other than Tumblr. Thank you.

The Reception

A little over a half hour after our ceremony had ended, we were wrapping up our bride and groom photos and making our way up to the house for the reception. We had made sure to do photos with our bridal party and immediate family first so they would have time to make their way up to the reception hall and find their seats before we were announced.

“Hungry are you?” I smirked as we reached the top of the staircase. Not that I could blame him. I was starving too. I hadn’t eaten much of anything since our brunch, and I could not wait to sit down and eat a full meal.

“I’m always hungry. This isn’t news.” he sassed, poking me in the rib. I squealed and swatted his hand away. “And your stomach is one to talk.”

“My growl was not nearly as loud as yours.” We looked at each other before snorting and dissolving into a fit of giggles.

“After you.” Shane said with a smile as he pulled open the door for us. He’d been filming from up at the top of the staircase.

“Thank you.” we said together.

“Down the corridor and to your left.” Shane said with a chuckle when we paused, trying to remember where our reception room was located. The Estate was absolutely massive. Sure we’d been staying on the grounds for the past two days leading up to today, but the pair of us were so wrapped up in last minute wedding details we hadn’t really had too much of a chance to explore like our guests had.

“That obvious?” Niall asked as we followed alongside him.

“Just a little.” He winked. “But not the first time someone has gotten turned around I’m sure.”

“No, probably not.” I agreed with a smile. As we made our way down the corridor, the sounds of music began filtering out from one of the rooms on our left. We saw Lucy peek out around the door, smiling at us before disappearing back into the hall to let Bressie know we were ready to be introduced.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen.” We heard the Bressie say. “Welcome to Powerscourt Estate and thank you for joining Nail and Evie on their special day. I’d introduce myself, but you all already know me so we’ll skip over awkward DJ introductions.” Niall and I giggled along with our guests. We’d known Bressie was the perfect person to DJ our wedding reception. He knew our musical tastes so well and we knew he’d be able to seamlessly float between providing excellent music entertainment as well as mingling and visiting with everyone.

“Now if you’ll please join me in welcoming the newlyweds, Mr. and Mrs. Horan!” We stepped through the doors to a wide variety of whistles, cheers and applause. Smiling and giggling as we made our way up to the table where our bridal party was already seated.

It was a little over an hour later when most of us were finishing up our main dinner course. Niall and I had been chatting with Lou, Denise, Greg, and Willie since finishing our meals about ten minutes ago. As glad as I was we’d finally been able to sit down and enjoy a meal together, I also couldn’t wait until we got to visit with everyone. I was especially excited to visit with Harry, Liam, and Louis, even if it was just for a few minutes. I hadn’t seen them in months, which was the norm now, but I missed them terribly. Along with Greg, they were my big brothers and I missed them as much as I missed Niall when we went for long periods of time without seeing each other.

“Ready to get this party going?” Bessie asked with a smirk after one of the waiters cleared our plates.

“You bet.” Niall said, giving my hand a squeeze. As nervous has he’s been about our first dance as husband and wife, I also know he’s really excited about it. We didn’t have an elaborately choreographed dance planned like we’d other brides and grooms do, but we’d been working on our simple dancing skills over the last few months.

“I’ll go get myself set up for the rest of the evening and then we’ll do the speeches before I announce your first dance.”

“Sounds perfect.” I said with a smile, reaching out and giving his hand a squeeze. He returned the squeeze before him and Niall gave each other a fist bump.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look today?” Niall said softly in my ear as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

“Only about a dozen times since we were announced as husband and wife. And I seem to remember ‘stunning’ as well.”

“You’re definitely stunning.” he smiled, kissing my forehead. “I love you.” he whispered resting his forehead against mine.

“I love you too. Husband.” He couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his lips or the small shiver it sent through his body.

“That’ll take a while to get used to.”

“Eh.” I shrugged with a smirk just to give him a hard time. “But I love the way it sounds.” I smiled at him before pecking a kiss to his nose.

“Me too. Wife.” It was my turn to shiver at the new moniker.

“If I could have everyone’s attention. Before Niall and Evie share their first dance as husband and wife, there are a couple of people who would like to share a few words with the happy couple. I believe Greg is up first.” Bressie passed him the extra wireless mic as he stood up from his chair.

“I’ve known for many years now that Niall and Evie would end up married. They had this instantaneous bond and friendship that you don’t see often from the moment they met. I’ll admit I was a little bit jealous of that and boy did I try hard to become their third musketeer. Much to their dismay, mind you.” The two of us giggled and I could see mum and his parents nodding knowingly in agreement out of the corner of my eye. “I eventually gave up and let them be,” Niall squeezed my hand when Greg looked over and gave him a warm smile. I scooted my chair closer to him so I could loop my free arm through his. Something told me this was going to be a bit emotional for the two of them since they’ve rebuilt their relationship over the last couple of years.

“Now, I don’t want to get too heavy on my little brother’s wedding day, but the two of us, we’ve been through some tough times over the years, and we’ve recently reconnected and rebuilt our relationship. I tell you that, to say this. It’s been really special to see how Niall’s and Evie’s relationship has grown and developed since Evie and Naomi moved in across the street from us all those years ago. And as odd as this may sound, seeing how Niall and Evie have overcome their own struggles and differences as their relationship has grown has been quite inspirational. They have this rare ability both individually and as a couple to make you think about the relationship you have with the people in your life. I’m willing to bet they have no idea they do that.” Niall and I chuckled softly along with our guests, shaking our heads no, while sniffling and trying to fight back tears. Niall was doing a much better job than me at the moment.

“My wife has taught me what it is to love and be loved, to accept and be accepted over the years we’ve known each other. And she’s taught me a lot about resolving conflict. But Niall and Evie, again I’m sure, without being aware of it, they’ve taught me from afar about resolving conflict between friends. Niall, you might be my baby brother, but you’re also my best friend. And I lost sight of that along the way. There is no amount of gratitude large enough to give for what you and Evie have given back to me, and given back to us.” Niall squeezed my hand again and I can tell by his jaw flexing that he’s pretty close to losing his battle with not shedding tears.

“Evie, you are the little sister I secretly wanted but never would have admitted to anyone when we were younger. Though I think mum knew,” I choked out a soft laugh and glanced at Maura. She was smiling fondly, blinking back tears. “And I know I drove you to your wits end many a time growing up, but I was just acting as any big brother would. You are everything I could have ever hoped for Niall in a best friend and life partner. He’s always been happiest on stage or in the studio with a guitar in hand. But you, you bring out a happiness in him that no one else ever has. It was like the two of you were meant to be from day one because you fit into our life, especially Niall’s, so perfectly and so effortlessly. And you gave him a run for his money like nobody else ever could. You still do.” Niall snorted and I smacked his chest with the back of my hand. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze, his way of saying ‘I love you’ without vocalizing it.

“That’s how I knew you two would be married one day. And now that you are, I can finally call you my little sister and say welcome to the family, not that you weren’t already a part of it.” I hiccuped softly and dabbed under my eyes with my napkin as best I could with my arm still looped through Niall’s arm and mouthed a thank you to Greg. Niall turned his head slightly and dropped a kiss to my temple.

“Niall, I am so proud of you and the man you’ve become. I know it hasn’t always the easiest between us, but there was never a moment where I wasn’t proud of you and proud of everything that you’ve accomplished. I’m so grateful that our son has an incredible uncle and role model to look up to and turn to if he ever needs someone other than mum and dad. And I’m so happy the world brought you and Evie together.” I saw a tear escape from the corner of his eyes and leaned in to kiss the wet spot on his cheek. I knew how grateful and happy he was that he and Greg had repaired their relationship. Niall is an incredibly family orientated person, and even though he never let it show and rarely talked about it with anyone other than me, it was really hard on him when their relationship had been strained. Especially when Theo wanted to spend time with him and vice versa.

“Niall and Evie, congratulations to you on your special day. I wish you both a lifetime of love and happiness. To Niall and Evie.” There was an echo of “to Niall and Evie” around the hall as everyone lifted their glasses. Greg handed the microphone to Denise.

“As Matron of Honor, I know my speech would be up next. With the exception of a couple of small points, Greg has said everything I would have said, and said it beautifully. So I wanted to pass my speech time on to Lou.”

“Oh lord.” Niall muttered as he sunk in his chair a little bit. I giggled softly and squeezed his hand.

“I heard that, Irish.” Lou said with a pointed look at him after she’d taken the microphone from Denise. “In all fairness, he has a right to be nervous. After all, I spent five years on the road with him and the boys. I know things,” Lou said with a wide, mischievous smile.

“Spill it!” We heard Louis call from a couple tables away. I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped as he groaned again and glared at Louis.

“As much as I would love to, you know I wouldn’t do that to you on your wedding day. That’s for another get together at another time.”

“Thanks, Louise. I appreciate it.” Niall said with a sarcastic smirk.

“You see what I put up with for five years from this one?” Everyone in the hall laughed fondly. “This isn’t going to be too terribly long as I didn’t have much time to prepare.” Lou said, winking at Denise.

“I’m sorry. But it felt right.” She pouted playfully, her cheeks flushing slightly.

“Just givin ya a hard time, love. And it means a lot that you asked if I wanted to say something in your place.” Niall reached across me to give Denise’s hand a gentle squeeze and mouthing a thank you. Denise smiled, returning the gentle squeeze before releasing his hand.

“Joking and banter aside, I’m honored that Evie asked me to stand by her side today as she married the love of her life. I met Evie for the first time when she flew out to visit Niall on tour just after the group hit it big. Like most people here, I knew they were meant to be. If I’m honest, I thought they were already together. So you can imagine my shock when I found out they were just ‘best friends,’” she said using air quotations around ‘best friends.’ We both rolled our eyes, our faces flushing a light shade of pink. She threw us a smirk before continuing.

“These two give each other a run for their own money. It’s exciting to see them challenge each other in all the ways they do now, but you should have seen them back when they were in their teens and trying to out do one another. But it wasn’t an out do one another in your typical competition fashion. They were always trying to one up each other to see who would be the next to cross off another accomplishment on their list and add another one in it’s place. To them, it was never about who crossed off the most items on their list. It was about striving to challenge themselves to be the best they could be at their own individual craft. I’m convinced it’s why they’re as successful as they are today in all aspects of their lives,” she threw a small smirk in our direction, “And that same dynamic gave us a front row seat to watching them dance around their feelings for one another before navigating the waters of going from best friends to romantic partners. It’s been as frustrating as it has magical. But infinitely more magical.”

“So much for not roastin me.” Niall muttered with a smirk. I smacked his chest again and he snickered.

“Hush you,” Lou said, returning the smirk. “What Niall and Evie have truly is magical. They have a once in a life time love that doesn’t come around very often. It’s a love that was born in childhood and a love that was nurtured over time to become what it is today. It’s a love that we can all learn from, and a love that we all hope to find ourselves one day if we haven’t found it already. Niall and Evie, as much as I tease you both, it’s been a true honor to be apart of your lives and to be a small part in your own personal fairytale. You both became part of my family years ago, and I’m so proud of who you’ve both become. As Greg said, I’m so grateful my daughter has her Auntie Evie and Uncle Niall to look up to and to turn to if I can’t be there for her,” she paused for a brief moment. “Congratulations to you both. I wish you nothing but a lifetime of love and happiness. To Niall and Evie.” Echoes of the same sentiment were heard again as the pair of us giggled wetly and sniffled.

“Do we have a mop nearby?” Bressie asked when Lou turned to hand him the spare mic. “Don’t want our two lovebirds slipping on the dance floor during their first dance.” The whole hall burst out into laughter with sniffles sprinkled in here and there. I glanced back at Bressie, smirking at him for the joke. He chuckled and returned the smirk before silently asking if we were ready for our first dance. I nodded with a smile.

“Everyone have your cameras ready? This might be the one time we get to capture Niall’s dancing skills on film. For future blackmailing purposes of course.”

“I know where you live, Breslin,” Niall said, turning in his chair and throwing a playful glare at one of his best mates. After the laughter had died down, the opening notes of Jason Mraz’s I Won’t Give Up quickly filled the room with a contrasting calmness to the laughter that had just rung out.

“May I have this dance?” Niall asked softly after pushing his chair back from the table and standing up, holding out his hand to me.

“You may,” I smiled up at him. He lead me out onto the dance floor and once again, the world around us dissolved. I’ll never forget the first time I heard this song. A couple weeks before I’d heard it, we’d had one of our rare blow out arguments. It was probably one of our worst ones even to this day. I can’t speak for Niall, but at the time, I wasn’t sure we would come back from it.

As soon as I got home the day I heard this song, I scoured YouTube for an audio recording and promptly texted Niall with the link to the video. I didn’t say anything. Just sent the link with the title of the song. I didn’t hear from him for several days, which I’d expected because he’d been on tour down in Australia at the time. But when showed up at my flat the day after returning to London, looking like an absolute wreck, that was a turning point for us. In a way, this song saved our relationship both platonically and romantically.

“You know I broke down in that little cafe the first time I heard this song?” I whispered just loud enough for him to hear me.

“I didn’t know that,” he replied, pinning his forehead to mine.

“Full on broke down. Barista thought I’d just lost my dog or something equally as sad.” he smiled softly.

“Even though we didn’t talk til I got back, I’m glad you sent it to me when you did.”

“Yeah?” he nodded.

“This song gave us our new beginning.” he smiled.

“Yes it did,” I whispered just as the first chorus started. We sang along, our eyes locked on one another.

I won’t give up on us Even if the skies get rough I’m giving you all my love I’m still looking up

And when you’re needing your space To do some navigating I’ll be here patiently waiting To see what you find

We heard Bressie invite our guests to join us as the first chorus started, but I don’t think either of us heard him clearly. We were too wrapped up in each other, singing the lyrics to the song that had brought us back together as best friends and eventually led us here.

So easy is our life What’s mine is yours and yours mine Hardly do we ever fight, We’d rather be kind

The tears were silently falling down my cheeks again as we sang one of the most important verses of the song to each other. At some point during the song, we’d stopped dancing, singing the rest of the song to each other while others danced around us. As the last notes faded out, he reached up to cradle my face gently, kissing me just as tenderly as he had in the gazebo a few short hours ago.

“I love you.” He whispered, another tear betraying him.

“I love you, too.” I replied, gently brushing the tear from his cheek. “Enough with all the soppy. Let’s get this party goin,” I smiled up at him. He snorted out a laugh, but nodded in agreement.

“Crank it up Bres!” Niall called out from the dance floor. I threw my head back and laughed as Niall groaned when it was What Makes You Beautiful that was cranked up.

“You knew that was gonna happen at some point,” I said still giggling.

“Did he really need to do it so soon?” He grumbled with a playful smile.

“Of course he did.” I smirked.

Once Bressie cranked up the tunes following our first dance, things really got going. We shared our time with friends on the dance floor and mingling with those who were watching from their tables or standing off to the side of the dance floor. We took a short break from dancing for cutting the cake and enjoying dessert before things got going again. After sharing a dance each with Lux and Theo as promised, I was in desperate need of water. I made way to the bar and just as I asked for a bottled water, I felt a gentle hand on my arm.

“Hey you!” I smiled. “Thanks for not outshining me on my wedding day.” I smirked.

“I do what I can,” he said non-chalantly.

“You’re a menace, Styles.”

“Yeah, but you wouldn’t have me any other way,” he smirked and pecked a kiss to my cheek before wrapping me up in a hug.

“No, I wouldn’t.” I smiled again as he loosened his arms and stepped back just slightly.

“You really do look stunning, love. And I’m truly very happy for you both.”

“You make me cry I’ll punch you.” He barked out a laugh. “But thank you. And thank you for being here. I know your schedule hasn’t been easy lately.”

“Do you really think I’d miss seeing my two best friends get married?”

“Of course not. But I would have understood if you couldn’t have made it.”

“Not a chance that was gonna happen, love. The pair of you never would have forgiven me if I hadn’t made it.”

“Not true,” I exclaimed in mock offense, smacking his arm lightly as Liam and Louis walked up to join us.

“Little violent for such a happy day don’t you think?” Louis teased.

“He probably deserved it.” Liam smirked.

“Oi! First time in months we’ve seen each other and you gang up on me?”

“Shouldn’t be new, mate.” Louis grinned, that mischievous sparkle in his eyes.

“Well, I can see when I’m not wanted,” Harry pouted playfully. “I think I’ll go have a dance or two with Lux. At least I know she appreciates me.” I rolled my eyes fondly at him. “Catch you later, yeah?” he asked, pecking another kiss to my cheek.

“I’d better. You leave before I get a chance to see you at least one more time, that I won’t forgive you for.” It was Harry’s turn to roll his eyes. I laughed and shoved him in the direction of the dance floor.

“Alright, bring it in.” Louis said pulling me into him and yanking on Liam’s arm to pull him in on the group hug.

“Been too long since we’ve had a group hug.” Liam said, giving my waist a gentle squeeze.

“Far too long. You two alright? Been doing okay?” I asked as I glanced at the bar tender. She nodded with a smile before pulling out a bottled water and handing it to me.

“Doin really well,” Louis said. “The calm before the next storm.”

“And Freddie? How’s he doing?”

“Doing really well. El and I will be headed back to LA in a couple days. He’ll be spending a couple weeks with us before school starts back. He’s already so excited about the new school year.”

“That’s wonderful. I’m so glad he’s doing well. I miss the little guy.”

“He misses you too. Asked about you the other day actually.”

“Aww.” I pouted.

“Any time you’re in LA, give me a call. Briana is really lovely about us taking him for a couple hours if we want a quick visit, especially if any of my brothers or sisters are in town.”

“We’ll keep that in mind. And you,” I said looking up to Liam.

“Oh, sorry to interrupt, but I’m being given a look,” Louis said. Liam and I looked in the direction he was and saw Lottie and Eleanor looking at him from across the room with raised eyebrows.

“Better go see what’s up.” I smiled. “See you before we leave, yeah?” I asked.

“Of course.” He gave me a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before hurrying off to see what the raised eyebrows at him were for.

“So, how are you? Doing alright?”

“Doin really well. Enjoying some down time before the next project starts.”

“Good. You work too hard sometimes. All of you do.” He rolled his eyes playfully, which earned him a light shove to the chest. “How’s Bear doing? Can’t believe how big he’s getting.”

“I know. It’s mad,” he said shaking his head with a chuckle. “He’s doing really well. Little chatterbox that one. Takes after his mum.” he smiled fondly. “She’s really sorry they couldn’t make it by the way.”

“No worries. Scheduling is not always on our side. And it’s not like I can’t pop over and visit you guys for a quick visit.”

“True. You look stunning, by the way. Don’t think I’ve seen the two of you any happier.”

“Oh stop,” I smiled, feeling my cheeks flush. “But thank you. We have a lot to be happy about.”

“I think this is most I’ve ever seen him cry.” he smirked, his eyes twinkling.

“Me too. And I’ve known him since we were four,” he chuckled and pulled me into a hug.

“I’m so happy for you two. And happy I could be a part of your special day.”

“I’m happy you could be here too. I’ve miss you. All of you.”

“We miss you too.”

I’m not really sure what time it was when the things started to slow down. I just know that the sun was halfway set, casting a beautiful, warm glow in the reception hall. And I knew that meant our send off would be approaching shortly.

But not before Niall and I shared one last dance in the hall, just the two of us. It wasn’t something we’d initially considered, but the more we thought about it, the more we liked the idea of having a last dance just the two of us so we could soak in the last minutes of our wedding day.

“It’s about that time for the newly weds to head off and begin their next adventure.” Bressie said lowering the volume on the music. “If everyone could please make their way out to the front of the Estate, we’ll send Niall and Evie off after they’ve shared one last dance together.”

We made our way up to the doors of the reception hall so we could have a chance to say our see you laters (good bye sounds too final) since we wouldn’t have much time to do that during our actual send off.

“May I have one more dance, my love?” Niall asked after the last of our guests had left the hall.

“Yes you may,” I smiled as I took his hand.

“Everything is set up. It should start playing in about a minute or so.” Bressie said with a smile.

“Thanks, mate.” Niall said as they shook hands and hugged each other. “And thank you for being our Emcee for the evening.”

“Truly honored you asked. And very happy for you both. Been a long time coming,” Bressie smirked.

“Alright, we get it.” I rolled my eyes, smiling playfully up at him.

“Never gonna live it down.” He dropped a kiss to the top of my head. “Go on. Go enjoy one more dance before we send you off.” He shook Niall’s hand one more time before walking out and closing the door behind him.

Just as Niall pulled me into him after leading us to the middle of the dance floor and dropping a kiss to my forehead, the opening notes to the one song I’d been waiting to hear all night filled the room.

“You’re too much, Niall Horan,” I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes. I should have known he’d save this song for our final dance of the evening when we’d decided on I Won’t Give Up for our first dance song. And I definitely should have known when he asked me if I trusted him enough to let him choose the last song we’d dance to.

“Can’t imagine our last dance of the evening to any other song.” he smiled.

“I love you.” I whispered. “Thank you for being my partner in crime.”

“Love you too, darlin. I should be thanking you,” He smiled before kissing my nose and singing along softly.

As we swayed gently in the middle of the dance floor with the sun behind us, slowly sinking behind the mountains, I couldn’t help but think about how this was one of the most incredible days of my life. Niall and I became husband and wife surrounded by those closest to us, and we’d managed to pull it off without the media ever getting wind of it. We’d had our first dance as husband and wife to the song that saved our relationship. I’d walked down the aisle to the song that helped us take a huge step in our relationship. And now, we were ending our evening with one of the most romantic songs that described our relationship to a tee. Today truly was everything I could have hoped for. Everything we could have hoped for. And I couldn’t wait to start the newest chapter of my life with my partner in crime.

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark With you between my arms Barefoot on the grass Listening to our favourite song When I saw you in that dress Looking so beautiful I don't deserve this Darling, you look perfect tonight

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark With you between my arms Barefoot on the grass Listening to our favourite song I have faith in what I see Now I know I have met an angel in person…

“And she looks perfect, I don't deserve this, you look perfect tonight.” Niall sang softly. Several tears slid down my cheeks as I tilted my chin just enough to connect our lips, kissing him softly as the final notes of Ed’s song faded and the last bit of sun sank beyond the horizon.

[ahumanfemale]

Happy birthday to my dear Kendell.

The sappiest writer we have, the mother of the Barisi kidfic.  @booyahkendell is my friend and fellow writer, who brightens all of our days and our darkest fandom nights.  

My gift to you is small and worthless, but I hope you like it anyway.  I wrote it to our dear Sam Smith’s new single, “Pray”.  

Have a happy 20th, darling.  I hope today is all you want and more.

xoxo, Lyssa.

The mood is somber at best, downright depressed at worst.

It was another rough case in a string of them, this one culminating in a loss.  An unexpected one.  They had all been celebrating a slam dunk with the jury returned their not guilty verdict.  Numb from shock, they’d all retreated to a bar.  Mostly to sit in silence, as none of them had managed to find any words yet.  Every time one of them started the sentence would just trail off… never to be picked up again.  Carisi tries more than any of them but even he’s been rendered mute.

Rafael is miserable.

Not just now, in this moment.  Although that’s certainly true too.  He’s miserable regularly now.  It shouldn’t matter, but somehow it does.

Never in his life had Rafael ever planned on happiness.  

Growing up poor in the Bronx with a belligerent asshole for a father didn’t lead him to experience many Kodak moments in his childhood, no matter how hard his abuelita and his mother tried.  And they succeeded sometimes.  But he’d grown up an asshole, too.  A mouthy one who clung to his intelligence as his sole means of achieving superiority.  He’d aced everything he’d ever touched, gone to Harvard, and aced his way through law school.  Only ever getting cockier, only ever putting more walls up because he had a reputation to maintain.  A reputation that means nothing now, the taste of failure so strong on his tongue that he has to drown it with scotch.

He thought it wouldn’t matter.

The thrill of winning would sustain him forever, he was sure.  Because that was the closest to absolute happiness he’d ever been and the closest he’d ever wanted to be.  But then he’d transferred to Manhattan and fallen in with SVU and he’d… fit.  Inexplicably.  And it was hard not to care here.  Hard to just care about wins and not the faces you were representing.  It was a transformation that had occurred before he’d even realized it was happening.  In Brooklyn he was Rafael Barba, the insufferably arrogant ADA with a conviction rate worthy of envy.  In Manhattan he was Rafael Barba, the man who was almost always willing to fight.  It was hard not to take some pride in that, even knowing that failure was inevitable.

Harder when Olivia Benson was the ultimate victim’s advocate, forcing him to take cases he ordinarily wouldn’t until it was a habit.  Until he took them all, unwinnable or not.  Rafael had found a kindred spirit in her - a woman dedicated to the job, who took her happiness from her successes there.

But Liv was happy now and it had nothing to do with work.

He didn’t know who it was, knew she’d keep it close to the chest until she couldn’t anymore, but he knew she had someone.  She was smiling more, was leaving early when able.  She looked younger, looked like the persistent weight on her shoulders was fading.  And if Rafael’s kindred spirit was no longer able to find her joy solely from work, how was he supposed to?

What happens when the job can’t sustain him anymore?

It’s that question he’s pondering when Fin stands up and pays his tab, saying he’s got an early morning.  With his son and son-in-law, playing grandpa with the new baby.  They all wish him well and Olivia is next, smiling down at her phone screen before putting it away and saying she has to go.  Not offering a reason, just another smile as she finishes the rest of her wine and heads for the door.  She spares Rafael a touch on the shoulder as she passes and they’ve been friends long enough now that he’s able to decipher her intention instantly.

You did good.

You did the right thing.

This wasn’t your fault.

He can’t bring himself to smile back but does accept the touch for what it is and wishes her a good night, hoping whoever she’s going back to is able to take the crushing weight of today off her shoulders.  

“Yeah, I guess that means I should go too,” Rollins says, sliding from the stool.  “Jessie’s babysitter is due to leave in half an hour.  At least this way I’ll be there for bedtime.”

“Here, let me split a cab with you,” Carisi says, downing the rest of his beer.  “It’s getting late.  You never know who’s prowling around in front of your building.”

She scoffs.

“Do I look like I need an escort, Carisi?”

“Nah.  But watch me do it anyway.”

Carisi pays for both their drinks and in the meantime Rollins is studying Rafael.  He hasn’t the slightest idea what she sees but she looks wary, pulling her coat around her shoulders with traces of concern pinching the corners of her mouth.  For a moment it looks like she wants to say something but then the impulse is gone because her babysitter is texting her with a picture of the baby in her pajamas and the rest of the world is burned away.  Her face lights up, her smile is wide, and then she’s pressuring Carisi to hurry up so they can get out of there.  

“You gonna be alright, counselor?” Carisi asks and Rafael briefly considers telling him the truth.

Probably not.  

“I’m fine, Carisi.”

The man frowns and tries again.  “Care to come with?  I’m sure we can all fit into the backseat of a cab.”

Rafael scoffs.  

“No thank you.”

“Carisi, leave him alone.  He’s can get himself home.  Right, Barba?”  He nods and Rollins seems vindicated.  “See?  All good.  Let’s go.”  

He mumbles some generic farewell and then the two of them are out the door and he’s alone.  

Well, not entirely alone.  

Alone with his thoughts, which is probably a worse idea that being actually alone.  

His thoughts are traitors these days, reminding him of his failures rather than his victories.  Personal and professional.  He thinks of earlier that afternoon, when their murder victim’s father had heard the words that would set his son’s killer free.  He’d looked to Rafael in abject horror, because really it would always be Rafael’s face he attributed with this betrayal.  The cops did the best they could, they caught his son’s killer, but Rafael was the one who failed to make it stick.  He briefly wondered if he would get death threats in letters from him, too, but decided he might deserve them.  

His third scotch disappears before he realizes what’s happened and his face is warm, his blood heavy and sluggish.  The bartender is eyeing him like he’s considering cutting him off and so he orders a fourth before the man can make up his mind.  This one he sips, just because he truly doesn’t want to get so drunk that he’s unable to get home.  That, he supposes, is at least some indication that he’s not so far gone that he’s faded into the nihilistic headspace that finds him before the blackouts.

Rafael is miserable, but he doesn’t want to be.

He doesn’t want to be happy.

He doesn’t want to magically wake up and smile and feel fulfilled.

He just… wants to feel something other than this.  Other than the certainty of his own worthlessness, the crushing weight of his defeats.  He wants to feel something other than numb and tired and alone.

Rafael doesn’t believe in God.

He swears he doesn’t, but he’s drunk and it’s been an awful month - close to an awful year - and it just slips out.  

It’s nothing formal, nothing like the prayers his family said over meals as a child.  He’s not even entirely sure what words flit through his mind but he does realize the thoughts were meant for someone other than himself and so it counted, he supposed.  It was a weak moment, one of a growing many, and he’d beat himself up about it tomorrow.  Tomorrow, when he sobered up and remembered the ridiculous notion that he was hoping for something other than misery.  

“Hey, counselor.”

Rafael turns, surprised.  Carisi is next to him again, coat buttoned up and face flushed red with cold.  

“Detective?” he questions and is instantly embarrassed by the slurring of the word.  “Didn’t you take Detective Rollins home?”

“Yeah,” he sighs, face pinched.  “Almost an hour ago.”

He would have sworn it had been ten minutes.

“Decide you weren’t done?” he questioned as Carisi leaned his hip on the bar next to him and looked down.  

He was so close.

Why did Carisi always stand so close?

And why did Rafael never move away?

“Nah, I’m done for the night.  You are too, I think.”

Rafael scoffs.  “How very presumptuous of you, detective.”  

“I’m not presuming anything.  I’m hoping.”

“Hoping what?”

“Hoping you’ll let me take you home,” he says meaningfully and Rafael looks up at him.  His jaw set, his eyes direct.  “It’s been a long week, counselor.  A really shitty day.  Let me make sure you get home safe.”

“I’m almost certain that won’t do anything to change the way today ended.”

“No, it won’t,” Carisi admits on a sigh, “But it’s something and the small things matter, too.”

Rafael doesn’t believe in God.

“Fine,” he hears himself say and takes one last drink from his glass before leaving it, half empty on the bar.  He settles his tab and let’s Carisi walk him out.  Let’s him catch a cab, let’s him open the door for Rafael as he climbs in.  

His pride should probably be rioting, he thinks as Carisi nudges him to give his address to the driver.  He should be annoyed and blustering and insulted at the knowledge that a young cop feels the need to walk him to his door because he’s worried Rafael can’t hold his drink.  

He doesn’t.

He feels… comforted.

“How did you know to come back for me, Carisi?”

The man doesn’t even blink, doesn’t look away from Rafael for even a second in the dark backseat, even if it would be easier for him to shy away from it.

“Felt like I needed to,” he answers softly.  “Wouldn’t leave me alone until I came back.”

Rafael doesn’t believe in God.

Carisi does.

“Thank you,” he says and is surprised to find he means in.  

“Anytime, Rafael.”

The sound of his name on Carisi’s lips hits him hard, harder than his father’s fists or his own defeats ever did.  It sucks the breath from him and for moment his head is clearer, his heart beating for another reason than because it has no choice.  His heart is beating because maybe Carisi was meant to be here, in this cab with him.  Maybe Rafael was meant to be here too.

His head tilts forward of its own volition, lips brushing softly over Carisi’s.  

A glance.

A touch.

A taste.  

Just a hint of promise before it’s gone, Carisi pulling back slowly.  His eyes are still closed, his mouth still slightly parted.  It’s a sight Rafael intends to memorize and replay for the rest of his life.  The sight of Carisi living in their kiss a little longer, refusing to let it go.  

Rafael doesn’t believe in God.

“Come home with me, Carisi.”

This pops Carisi’s eyes open in an instant and Rafael is pleased to find no confusion, no denial on his lips.  

“You’re drunk,” he argues but looks weak.  

“Not drunk enough for this to be a mistake,” he said.  “Come with me.  Don’t pretend we both haven’t been thinking of this for years.”

“I wouldn’t lie to you like that,” Carisi assures him and his eyes dart back down to Rafael’s lips as the cab pulls to a stop in front of Rafael’s building.  “But… but it’s been a hard day, and you’ve been drinking.”

“So?” Rafael asks.  “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying call me tomorrow,” Carisi responds and his voice sounds rough.  “Call me sober, call me hungover.  I don’t care.  Just… just call me again and I’ll be here.”

“For sex?” he asks, mouth quirking up.  

“For anything.”

Carisi means it.

Rafael could call him tomorrow morning for a bloody mary and Carisi would show up with every ingredient, eager to get in the door.

“Okay,” he says slowly, handing over his fare to the driver.  “I’ll call you.”

“Please do,” Carisi implores him, one long hand on his thigh.  “Take care of yourself, counselor.  I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Rafael nods, gives a half smile as he gets out of the cab and shuts the door behind him.  He walks around the back of the cab and offers a parting wave that Carisi returns, mouth turned down in worry as the car drives off into the night.  He was certain in that moment that he would call Carisi the next morning, maybe not immediately upon waking but at least before noon.  He can’t shake the feeling of right that’s hanging over him as he walks in the door, boards the elevator.  Mostly he doesn’t want to.

Rafael doesn’t believe in God.

Maybe he should.

[2whatcom-blog]

Are Sleep Hammocks Secure for Infants

Few strategies are as efficient at getting a child to fall asleep like a delicate rocking backwards and forwards. So, the concept of serving to your new child go to sleep in a swaying child hammock might have critical enchantment. No extra drained arms. Infants falling asleep extra shortly. Plus, it certain appears comfy. "Replicates the comfort and security of the womb," the advertising and marketing copy of main child hammock producer Amby Child Hammocks reads on their web site. "You will wonder why you ever used a cot, crib or bassinet." Amby, which is headquartered in Australia, payments its hammocks as, "the original and the world's most trusted modern baby hammock since 1989." Trish Brimelow, the proprietor and managing director of Amby Child Hammocks, notes that her firm has offered 50,000 hammocks in its 30 years of existence. "Our hammocks have helped tens of thousands of families with babies that have sleep issues, reflux, colic, etc," Brimelow instructed Healthline. "Our hammocks replicate the womb environment with gentle motion and the firm mattress gently moulds around them, eliminating hard pressure points, which is why babies settle and sleep so comfortably in them." Nevertheless, child hammocks do not all the time cross security muster within the eyes of some pediatric organizations and sleep specialists. Certainly, there have been two recollects a few decade in the past involving child hammocks. MamaLittleHelper LLC, initiated a voluntary recall of its metallic hammock stands in 2010 after a 4-month-old woman fell out of the hammock when the stand broke. Additionally in 2010, 24,000 models of Amby Child Movement Beds, made by Minnesota-based Amby Child USA that's longer in enterprise, had been recalled after two toddler deaths in Georgia and Oregon. The Minnesota firm was the U.S. affiliate of the Australia-based Amby. Brimelow stated her firm investigated the 2 incidents and located that in each instances, the hammocks had been improperly put in. "That model Amby Baby Hammock was extensively tested by authorities here in Australia and in the U.K. after the USA recall and found to be perfectly safe to use when the assembly instructions are followed," Brimelow stated. "Over 50,000 Amby Baby Hammocks have been sold worldwide since 1989 and no other deaths or injuries have ever been reported before or since. We are very proud of our fantastic safety record."

Consultants specific hesitancy

Hammocks for infants aren't unusual in some components of the world. A sort of child hammock, the "yao lan," is standard in Southeast Asia, particularly in Singapore and Malaysia. Sleep hammocks offered in the US would possibly assist infants sleep, however the dangers merely aren't understood but, specialists interviewed for this story instructed Healthline. "There isn't enough research proving the safety of the device for unsupervised sleep," stated Eva Klein, an authorized toddler and youngster sleep advisor and the proprietor and founding father of My Sleeping Child. "These products are largely untested in a scientific manner," added Riki Taubenblat an authorized pediatric sleep advisor at Child Sleep Maven. "They have really not been studied. We don't know a lot about them," famous Dr. Jamie Macklin, a pediatric hospitalist at Nationwide Kids's Hospital in Ohio. "Everyone always wants the newest latest and greatest thing and sometimes those aren't the best things," she continued. "Until we have new data supporting the idea that sleep hammocks were safe -- though I don't think we're going to get there -- we would certainly change our tune." Brimelow strongly disagrees. In reality, she notes that she used Amby child hammocks with all three of her youngsters. "The first time I placed my in the Amby hammock for a daytime nap, he slept soundly for two hours," she stated. "I had never been able to put him down for more than five minutes before and as you can imagine, I was very excited. He went on to become a brilliant sleeper thanks to our Amby." Brimelow provides that after her subsequent two youngsters sleep comfortably in Amby hammocks, she determined to supervise the corporate in 2011. "I took over the brand because I loved and believed in it so much," she stated.

Not well worth the danger?

Some specialists, nonetheless, nonetheless aren't satisfied on the protection of child hammocks usually. " an extremely dangerous sleep surface," Dr. Gina Posner, a pediatrician at MemorialCare Orange Coast Medical Heart in California, instructed Healthline. "Numerous studies have shown that to decrease the risk of SIDS, the baby needs to sleep on his or her back on a flat, firm surface. The crib hammock is neither firm or flat and that can cause the baby to become entrapped in it if he or she rolls." On the finish of the day, each dad or mum has to make their very own choices within the grey space of acceptable danger for his or her youngsters. However not a single medical professional Healthline consulted was keen to endorse child hammocks or different comfortable sleeping surfaces for infants. "Simply stated, the risks of SIDS and suffocation are far greater than any reward -- which in my opinion, there is no reward," Posner added. Brimelow, nonetheless, notes there hasn't been a single incident of SIDS reported from infants sleeping in Amby hammocks. "We take safety extremely seriously and our hammocks are engineered and safety tested to ensure they will not cause injury," she stated. "We believe they actually help to prevent SIDS the natural motion ensures that there is no build-up of carbon dioxide around babies' faces and the motion also mimics sleeping next to mom," stated Brimelow. "Also, babies can only sleep on their backs in the Amby Baby Hammock, which keeps them in the supine position at all times."

Unsafe merchandise in the marketplace?

This debate does increase the query: How do merchandise equivalent to child hammocks make it to market within the first place? A part of it has to do with regulation. The Meals and Drug Administration (FDA) points suggestions for producers of child merchandise as does the Shopper Product Security Fee, which requires third-party testing for a lot of child objects. The issue with child hammocks, nonetheless, is that they're largely untested and solely topic to recall when one thing goes unsuitable. "Anyone can sell anything online and anyone can buy anything," Macklin stated. "Certainly, you have parents who do swear by these so you can see some recommendations this way. So people will buy these." That stated, in the event you're enamored with the concept of your child rocking in a hammock, there's a good time to make use of such gadgets: While you're current and watching. "If the parent is awake and doing dishes in the kitchen and the mom and dad is watching that is fine," Macklin stated. "Because they can react to any unsafe situation that might come up. But if it's a situation where the parent is sound asleep and the baby is sound asleep it might become unsafe for any number of reasons."

Observe your ABCs

For nighttime sleeping, Macklin and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) have a easy mnemonic: Observe your ABCs. A stands for "alone" -- which means your child needs to be alone and never surrounded by any toys, stuffed animals, or blankets. B stands for "back," as in your child needs to be mendacity flat on their again (one thing, notably, a hammock prevents). C stands for "crib," as in your child ought to have their very own safety-certified crib with a agency mattress floor and tightly fitted sheet -- no co-sleeping or different preparations. "Sometimes I don't like to distill it that simply," Macklin stated, " that's really what it comes down to." Read the full article

[kristallioness]

"North and South: Part Three" - a review

My copy of "North and South: Part Three" arrived exactly a week ago and I finally managed to read it (for the first time in the correct order without skipping any pages) yesterday early morning around 5-6 am. I'm not sure about the previous trilogies, but since I'm aware of how this one has received so much critique and it's probably my favourite out of all of them, I feel the need to share my more-positive thoughts (and protect my babies).

Before I begin, I'd like to point out what I've already written about some of the scenes/pages when I first saw them (basically my first feels about those moments): pages 5-15, 16-20, also a few random pages. Besides that, I wanna share this good review I accidentally stumbled across while searching for scans and this awesome video (with a fitting sound effect), where Katara slaying Gilak and Aang catching Hakoda has been animated.

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Alright, since the third part starts with Toph Beifong and her students continuing the work at the oil refinery, I'll start with my thoughts on her. The way Toph talks to her students is hilarious - they're the most prestigious and only metalbending school in the world. When she asks Ho Tun whether they're metalbenders or lily livers and he hesitates before answering - priceless. Dude, like you ever had a choice.. I must agree with Toph that politics are (often) dumb.

Katara ain't interested in helping to build something that can potentially damage the environment of her home - darn right, I support her! For those who might not understand why she's against the oil refinery, please read my review of the second part over here. I've explained it pretty well why I can understand her concern, as well as why she's not happy about changing everything they've ever loved about home (like she says a bit angrily to Sokka, who's clearly much more excited).

Let me continue with some other side characters while I'm on the topic. There's one character I'd like to bring up here, who simply kept surprising me throughout this last part and who I am so-so proud of - Zuko. I just wanna hug him and tell him how proud I am of him, okay!? That moment when he said the Fire Nation is ready to help the Southern Water Tribe, especially since they've caused enough harm to them during the war - it reminded me of his daughter, Izumi, doing the contrary 70 years later when she refuses to join an unprovoked attack against Kuvira's army with the United Republic of Nations due to the Fire Nation's warlike history. Even the angle on their faces during these scenes is the same. Like father, like daughter for real here. Zuko's humility is worth noting.

There were some other fun moments with Zuko that I liked, such as how he and Sokka hugged during his arrival at the South Pole (for the first time after the war!). Can I just say, brotp for life? I love how this reminded me of Zuko hugging Aang before they parted ways in "Smoke and Shadow" (the angles of these scenes are the same, too), but now they're reuniting. Speaking of hugs, I cannot stress enough how much I love that the world leaders (Avatar Aang, Head Chieftain Hakoda, Earth King Kuei and Fire Lord Zuko) are getting along so well. I repeat, I wish that such a peaceful time would come to our world, too. Kuei offering Zuko to join him in Bosco's paws is such a simple, but sweet and caring act. This really gives 'bear hug' a new, quite literal meaning. Zuko being afraid of bears is another amusing fact. One final thing, I loved how the writers showed that Zuko's a master planner, too - like Sokka, he can anticipate their enemy's moves, understand the motives behind their demands and he knows how Gilak thinks. Also, crossing-his-arms pouty Zuko is adorkable and cute.

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Enough about the side characters, I'll talk about the conference since it already came up earlier. Let's take a step back before the meeting because I love that Sokka supports Malina during the unrest in the beginning. She really needs someone (besides Hakoda) to be there for her during such a hard time - her brother Maliq was sent back to the Northern Water Tribe along with the rest of her crew, they were both nearly killed, she had to see the love of her life almost bleed to death right in front of her. She hasn't had it easy either.

I also enjoyed seeing Sokka's enthusiasm towards his father's presentation during the meeting, like a best friend cheering his mate on, supporting each other. Now that's the kind of father-son bond I love. I hadn't seen page 22 before, so that really made my heart skip a beat (in a good way, it was a nice surprise) - the foundation of the future Southern Water Tribe, laid down by Hakoda and Malina. I felt so happy to see the familiar plan of what we've already seen realized 70 years later (during TLOK Book 2). This connection made me smile. During the fight I loved the scene of Sokka throwing his boomerang to cut down the chandelier so it'd fall on the soldier's head. Look at his smug face, such satisfaction.

In contrast to Sokka's delight, I loved how an annoyed Katara defended her point of view when the Earth King declared that he might not be ready to aid them with their plans. Her comparison of the Outer Ring (I do believe she meant the Lower Ring though?) and her home in particular was supposed to be a nice (unfinished) insult, since Kuei implied that her tribe should be cleaner. Well, the tribe being warmer is something they can't change, but then again Kuei hasn't even seen the world, so he doesn't understand how climates and weather work. I'm rather quick to forgive him for his clumsiness, however, I understand why Katara is justifiably angry at him for saying such things. But, as a reader, I'm ready to give Earth King Kuei time to learn. Because I know where he comes from and why he's like that.

Moving forward a bit, there was a moment involving him, which felt like a cold shower. It was the moment I realized that the situation's serious, far more serious than I'd originally imagined. When Zuko claimed that killing the Earth King could start a new war. This was a possibility I'd never considered and the mere thought sent shivers down my spine. The Earth Kingdom attacking the Southern Water Tribe for murdering their leader. A frightening reality.

While the Earth King was gone, I really felt for Bosco, who was obviously worried about him. Hakoda correcting Malina that the bear missed his best friend, not his master, was very endearing (I'm loving their private moments more and more). Like Appa was worried about Aang when he disappeared into the Spirit World. Both times, Katara's the one who comforts them - I guess she has a way with animals, too, just like her boyfriend (these two are perfect for each other). Also, I like to think that Momo and Bosco are best buddies.

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Having mentioned the fight and the kidnapping, I'd like to write down my opinion about that as well as the beginning of the exchange in the mountains. First off, that fierce glare at Gilak when Katara wanted Aang to drop her - my only thoughts were something in the lines of "Oh, shit! She's mad.." and "Damn, she's ready to shred him to pieces!" (honestly, so would I be). Lesson learned (long ago, actually) - don't mess with this girl or her family, because she will kill you. Katara and Aang's teamwork in order to save Hakoda was excellent. Aang's face when Sokka and Katara told him about the Bridge of No Return later made me laugh though. The Southern Water Tribe can be fricking savage.. good luck with your girlfriend there, Aang! I'm just kidding.. but seriously, Southern Water Tribe people are not to be messed with.

Coming back to Aang and Katara, I've gotta admit that I was pleasantly surprised at how much they interacted in this part (my expectations were low based on what I'd heard). There were so many little moments or big action scenes where they were together, all of which filled my heart with joy. For example, once they'd reached the Bridge of No Return, Aang was standing a few feet away from Katara when he answered Sokka's question. But he noticed that Katara was worried - she didn't even address him, he simply noticed. So Aang just walked up to Katara to kiss her cheek and comfort her that everything's going to turn out fine. What a cutie! Just look at that gentle caressing of her right cheek, she's smiling while holding onto his forearm to hold it steady (or to pull him in closer because she likes what he's offering to her - love, comfort and hope).

Following this scene, when the members of Team Avatar were getting chi blocked was a moment where I felt like I wanted to jump in the middle and interfere to help them. Chi blocking has always creeped me out (in the sense that you'll be completely defenceless/paralyzed), so this particular scene wasn't pleasant to read for me, even though I liked it. Sokka's reaction really made me laugh - kind of not the time to be happy about it, buddy. Also important, Hakoda worrying about their well-being and calling them kids is touching (well, they are still teenagers so it makes sense).

I was absolutely mind-blown by the plan Sokka came up with on how to neutralize the chi blockers' attacks. This was a nice tie-in to the armour of the Metalbending Police Force of Republic City. Turns out it wasn't Toph who invented the originals, instead it was Sokka! His plan in general was ingenious. I'd seen the pages where they were chi blocked, but I hadn't seen how they come out of it. I expected them to wait or stall Gilak's army long enough for them to regain their ability to move and bend. This was an amazing turn of events. Toph and Katara getting revenge on those two annoying chi blocker siblings - I just wanna praise my girls forever because gosh, I hated those two! They really irked me. I loved Katara and Aang's quick reaction when they had to go rescue the rest of the three still hanging from the rope bridge. Sweeties saving people together.

I liked the way Hakoda talked to the Earth King while he was walking to the middle of the bridge. He was supportive and tried to help Kuei get his mind off the fear of falling by reminding him of Bosco. I didn't notice until I reread the book a second time, but when Malina is saying her final farewell to Hakoda, the Earth King is crouching and covering his eyes whereas everyone else's mouths are wide open. Either he can't look because he's scared to see what'll happen next or.. he's crying.

When the rope finally broke, the looks on everybody's faces killed me, especially Sokka and Katara's. How many times does Katara have to scream "Dad!" and have my heart break into a million pieces? I don't think this question will ever receive an answer. Hakoda's a side character and as we all know from the original series (for instance, take Yue or Jet), anything can happen to these beloved characters. And Hakoda's one of my favourites! He really has a special place in my heart, he reminds me of my dad and that's why the whole Hakoda-Katara (father-daughter) dynamic makes me emotional every single time. I see a lot of myself in Katara, too.

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And with that, I reach the most heartbreaking turning point of this part - Malina sacrificing herself to save at least one of them, namely Hakoda. How did I interpret this moment? In various ways.

First off, I immediately noticed the gleam on Katara's necklace and knew it was related to what she says at her mother's grave the next day. It symbolizes her mother's courage running through her veins, her instincts kicking in to go save the woman. But I think there are two other things that are going through Katara's mind.

Katara sees this as the moment Aang fell in the Crystal Catacombs, which she mentions the next day. She sees herself in her dad, having to witness the love of his life die right before his eyes (again). Besides that, it also symbolizes what happened 9 years ago - Katara being the first one to see the look on her dad's face when he realized he'd lost Kya. Remember, Katara and Hakoda both ran into their igloo and found Kya dead, Sokka probably joined them a bit later. Their mother, his wife. The worst part is Katara has seen it before. It's a painful reminder that back then (and for the following 6 years) Katara blamed herself for not being strong enough to save her mom. But this time everything's different. She's a master waterbender, she knows she's capable of saving Malina, that she can spare her dad from going through the same hurt he had years ago. I imagined that during this moment, Kya was knocking on Katara's conscience, telling her to "Go! You're strong enough now! You can do this, sweetie! Save her!.. For him.".

Also, I realized that this is a powerful parallel - someone Katara hates (or used to hate) finally earns her trust completely, proving that their feelings for her (as a friend / as a future stepmother) and her family are real, they really do care for her and have no intentions of betraying her or her loved ones ever again. This is exactly what happened to Zuko during Sozin's Comet - he jumped in front of Katara to protect her from getting struck by lightning, which was the final and most important act in his redemption arc (concerning her). Malina does the same in order to spare at least one of them (I mean Hakoda, since Aang could've easily flown back to safety) - she accepts her fate (her eyes tear up) and willingly releases her hold on Hakoda's hand. Neither character knew that Katara would (or could heal the damage made by lightning) save them. In a way, Zuko and Malina have a similar history when it comes to befriending Katara. And this is definitely something I really love. I'm satisfied with how Malina and Katara's relationship was handled, how she earned the girl's trust by proving that her feelings for her dad were sincere. I knew it'd have to be something big because, like I said in my previous review, Katara can hold a grudge.

Cut to the next day and I admit that I wasn't prepared for this moment - Sokka and Katara visiting their mother's grave. I was really confused at first because I thought the water tribe siblings went to the place where they found Aang, but the iceberg had melted and the ground had resurfaced. I needed to read Katara's lines twice before the reality sank in and I understood why she was saying those words. The Kya-Katara (mother-daughter) dynamic has always been a touchy issue for me, too, so I broke down in tears and sobbed for a longer while. How could I have been so foolish? I still cannot believe it..

Remember when a 14-year-old Katara confessed to Haru that her mother's necklace was the only thing left of her and it wasn't enough for her? Katara, now 17 years old, has realized that there's something much bigger she inherited, someone who's been with her all this time - Kya's courage, her mom's been with her all along. This is an important step forward (in healing) for Katara. She understands that her mother's love is still inside her heart, similarly to how Aang learned (from guru Pathik) that the air nomads' love for him is still inside his heart. Look at him staring at her lovingly as she mourns. Aang's proud of Katara for reaching this realization.

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I'm gonna finish with something slightly happier, something I haven't discussed yet, but it's connected to the previous scene. The next living southern waterbenders, Sura and Siku. I managed to completely nail this subplot when I guessed what'll happen in the third part in my previous review (I'm so happy I foresaw it!). The only part I didn't see coming was Katara explaining the loss of her mom and the meaning behind it to the little girls. I bet she explained this the same way to her daughter Kya years later, I've even written my version of this happening over here. Sura and Siku understanding what Katara told them and demonstrating their waterbending to her deceased mother shows that just like the Air Nation will be reborn in 70 years, the Southern Water Tribe is very much alive. All in all, a very sympathetic ending for this subplot.

The waterbending lesson with Pakku, Katara, Aang, Sura and Siku is among my favourite scenes from this trilogy. Aang stating that Katara helped him end the war, the two of them waterbending together to show the little girls what they can (learn to) do, Katara kneeling down to the girls' height and slightly tilting her head to talk to them (her motherly side showing) - all so precious.

Do you know how children usually say things like they are? Well, I adored how they spoke about Master Pakku, it was so sincere, truthful and funny altogether. But I also understood why the girls were scared / didn't wanna show their waterbending to him. Think about it from their point of view - a strange old man who can waterbend happens to find their well-hidden village, tells them that the Hundred Year War is over and they don't have to hide their waterbending anymore. For all they know, it may be a trap and those monsters could still be out there. Where's the proof? Sura and Siku aren't convinced until they meet Aang, who confirms it.

There were so many bits and pieces I really loved that happened after Sura and Siku ran away. Pakku being sarcastic towards both Hakoda and Aang, the latter blushing as a result and the former thanking him for trying to teach those girls. Hakoda was interested in seeing what the two of them (I believe he's referring to Katara and Aang) were up to, addressing them as Team Avatar grows on him. I'm telling you, I love Hakoda so much!

And then there's the entire scene with him, his baby girl Katara, her boyfriend Aang and his pet winged lemur Momo. I love this scene for so many reasons! Including Momo finding something to eat and Aang making sure that he's well-fed (as well as the way he gulps that fruit in one bite). Hakoda being proud of Katara for becoming such a great healer, wondering whether he'd still be alive if it weren't for her (just.. I'll never get over this). Katara worrying about her dad's health (she gently wraps her arms around his), telling him about Team Avatar and her concerns about their home with Aang defending her arguments about the plans. This is the kind of scene about Hakoda, Katara and Aang spending time together that I've been wanting to see.

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To sum up, the only solution we didn't get was an explanation as to why the Southern Water Tribe is considered to be a colony of the Northern Tribe. However, while writing this review, I thought of a wild theory I'm gonna put out there. We're aware that Sokka was the last known Chief, right? If he didn't have any descendants and Katara didn't want to take on the role (being devastated after both Aang and her brother's death), then wouldn't that mean the southern tribe remained without a chief? So the Northern Chief automatically claimed control of both tribes, whereas the South still had the Council of Elders (who would later choose Tonraq to be the new chief). It didn't happen 70 years ago during Aang's time, it happened 70 years later during Korra's time. Just my idea I thought I should share.

The ending where Team Avatar is cooking together, people/ world leaders from all 4 nations are present (note the 4 elements in the correct order forming half of a circle on both sides), sitting together like family and enjoying a good celebratory meal - I believe this is a very nice way to wrap up these series for now. Gave me warm feelings and really melted my heart. Also, chubby Momo in the end!

I'd love it if the next trilogy continued by showing Team Avatar leaving the South Pole. But just before they leave, Aang and Hakoda talk privately and he asks for Katara's hand in marriage. Hakoda gladly agrees and they leave, Katara is unaware of what Aang wanted to talk to about with her dad (he keeps it a secret). Aang would propose in the third part of the trilogy, very near the end. I'm weak, but it's a great opportunity to ask and this is a moment in their lives that I really wanna see!

In conclusion, the comic trilogy "North and South" has touched me in so many ways - I've smiled and laughed, shed countless tears during heartbreaking/heartwarming scenes. It's reminded me of how much I love the Southern Water Tribe and Katara's family. How much joy I feel seeing Team Avatar back together again. I cannot possibly put all of these feelings into words, but ultimately I'm more than content with how everything turned out and very happy to own copies of these three parts. "North and South" may just as well be ranked at the very top of my list.

[revol-lover]

need to vent.

This weekend was a shit show and I took a mental health day from work today. I promised my husband I wouldn't dwell on the issues of the weekend and I would try to take it easy but I need to let this out, I need to vent. And then I can move forward. Its so important for me to write these things down because I can only be strong for so long before I become weak willed again and let toxic people start their cycle of abuse all over on me. I need to have written reminders of what I’ve gone through to remind myself that I don't deserve this abuse and I need to limit contact.

So as I previously posted, I haven't visited my parents in a couple weeks. They haven't bothered to check in on how I am doing even though I usually visit on weekends. No one checks in on me. I’ve put a shit ton of effort into my relationship with them since getting married (well since forever but especially since moving out, keeping in touch. Its all been one sided effort coming from me). I was legitimately busy and exhausted with everything we have going on, being in my third trimester of pregnancy. I work all week, I have things to do after work nearly every single day of the week except for occasionally one or if I’m very lucky, two days, and most weekdays I work, come home, rest for an hour, make dinner, husband comes home, we eat, then we do errands and things that we have to get done during the week (groceries, laundry, house tidying, tending to the plants at the cemetery, visiting his grandmother, visiting his father at the hospital).

Being pregnant has been for the most part easy for me, and I don't take that for granted. Regardless, I’m still getting bigger and less comfortable, I have to drink a gallon of water a day which is getting difficult. I’m just tired. Most weekdays we arent home from our responsibilities until 7 pm. Then we unwind and spend time together before going to sleep and starting all over again. Therefore, my weekends have become very precious to me, as they should be. And I haven't been feeling up to visiting my parents. I am never invited over. But I’m apparently just expected to make an effort, one they do not make.

Well this weekend was my godmother’s 50th birthday. Her boyfriend wanted to surprise her with birthday cake and have family over. I wasnt sure I’d be up to going but I got suckered into buying the cake because her son had to work and no longer could and her boyfriend was surprising her with this so he couldn't go get it himself. So now I “had” to go. My parents were going so I figured this is fair enough. They will see me. It kills to birds with one stone. Well as I’m standing on my godmother’s porch waiting for them to open the door my parents walk up to the porch. My dad says hello and how have I been doing, before I have time to even properly answer he follows it up with a very bitter sounding “haven't seen you in a LONG time”. He really is trying to give me a guilt trip when he doesnt even text me. He hasn't sent me a text since April 4th and that was a “lol ok” reply to a text I had sent to him trying to make conversation about the baby. He has not called me. He has not been in touch, but he is mad that I have not gone by to visit. So I told him, straight up. “Well, I’ve been busy. My week days are busy, we have had a lot going on and I have been trying to get things done and still relax on the weekends, Oh and I’m pregnant. Also you could text me to check how I am doing and you haven't so. “He of course got mad that I had the nerve to say whats the fucking truth and was like “ I know your pregnant what is that supposed to mean” and then he stuttered angrily on “what do you mean about texting”  (does this even need an explanation? no. he doesnt get in contact with me but expects me to put him first at the busiest time of my life.) but I ignored the rest because my god mom opened the door and I Wasnt about to have an argument on her door step. So I go inside. And he persists the issue. He starts questioning me. “What do you do during the week” “what do you do during the weekend” as if I owe an explanation!!!!!! At this point I was getting flustered because I honestly wanted to fucking tell him off but being a decent person unlike apparently him, I wasnt about to have this conversation at someone’s birthday celebration! If you have problem with me address it at an appropriate time! How hard is that to comprehend. So I quickly listed off that I have been busy working and doing things we need to do to get ready for the baby and also, you know having a midwife appointment once every two weeks, soon every week. I shouldn't have even had to try to defend myself. i don't owe him a breakdown of my schedule and why he doesnt fit in it. Especially when the doesnt try to get in contact with me ever and was so disrespectful in the way he attacked me immediately with a guilt trip. The rest of the dreadful 30 minutes I was there was spent not looking at him or my mom and trying not to talk to them because I just can't do it man. I can't. My mom wasnt as bad as she couldve been but it doesnt matter. He made up for it. The annoying thing she did is, so my little niece was there, she’s 4. I haven't seen her either in a few weeks. So I picked her up. My mom literally SCREAMED “Hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't do that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! your stomach!!!!!!!!!!!!” at me as if I am a fucking imbecile or flower petal who can't pick up a SMALL CHILD while I am pregnant. As if I don't know my own limitations. Oh that pissed me off and I told her that its not dangerous for me to pick up my niece and I know what I am able to do. Omfg god though. like seriously does she think I’m not going to pick up and give affection to my first child when my second comes? It was such a stupid thing to have her freak out about. As if she cares. She didnt care when I was a teenager and intentionally hurting myself because of her abuse  but she is going to freak out about me holding a child while I’m pregnant..

As we were leaving my mom handed my husband a birthday card but not without “well we didnt see you last weekend so I couldn't give it to you sooner”. They did not contact me to tell me to tell him happy birthday lol. They live two minutes away. they could have easily dropped it off themselves. But its our fault, right? Then she tried hinting that I should try to visit sometime during the week “if I want” to which.. I didnt even respond. I just ignored it. I’m not doing this guilt trip shit. I don't owe them a visit. I’m not coming to them. If they want to see me they need to make an effort because all they do is bring me stress which I don't need right now. It could have been handled so differently. All my dad had to say was “How have you been?” and left out the guilt trip. There was no need for it.

So anyway. I kept my cool on the entire situation  as best I could. But then we got home. And I just.. idk. I unravelled. I was so angry. I AM still angry. I twas out of line. I hate that my dad thinks he has the right to treat me that way. That I owe him something when he puts 0 effort into the relationship. When we do visit he's glued to his phone. He doesnt even interact. He had no right to attack me with a guilt trip. I was so upset by this when I go t home. I was pacing and shaking and having chest pain and I know this is all really bad for the baby but I couldn't calm down and this is exactly why I can't do this shit anymore. I shouldn't have to live my life afraid of when I’ll see them next because god forbid I have been making my own health and child and marriage a priority. I shouldn't have to apologize or explain that. I wrote a long message I was going to send him but didnt. I don't feel like theres anything I can say to get through to someone who doesnt understand the basic simple point of me putting myself first right now. Largely pregnant, less then 2months from the birth of my child with still a lot to do and decreasing energy and ability to do it, never mind making mentally exhausting visits to unappreciative people.. 

 I thought about calling instead of texting it. But again. I was already stressed out. I was having chest pain My husband was worried sick about me and our baby. My father isn't worth the stress but I can't just turn a switch when it comes to being treated the way I was. How can I just turn a switch and not care? I do not like cofrontation or being attacked. And I didnt deserve it. I’m being attacked for doing the right thing. For taking care of myself and my child. I’m being attacked for having my priorities straight. Do you realize how fucking much that fucks with my psyche? Its not something I can just let go.

I thought for a second I should send him an article on how stress during pregnancy can affect the baby. Yeah except I saw a scary statistic about how third trimester stress can spike up your chance of having a stillborn and went into a legitmate panic attack and my husband had to just take the phone from me. I eventually calmed down but the situation hasn't left my mind. I am home today trying to mentally recoup. I’m trying to just take care of myself but it keeps creeping into my thoughts. The disrespect. What his attack caused - the chest pains and crying and freaking out. That didnt need to happen.. that hsouldnnt have happened. That could very seriously pose a risk to me and my child like pre term labor or other terrible things. Like it just fucks me up that my own father can be so immature and careless in his actions and not even realize how it affected me. Because I care too much. Because I can't believe that after being such a good daughter despite the abuse I’ve received in my childhood, and despite his complete life long lack of protecting me from my mother, the times I’ve thought about cutting my mom off entirely but didnt because I didnt want to lose him.... the fact that all of that exists and is a part of my life, and he doesnt even care enough to treat me with the most minimal amount of respect. That he caused me so much stress it caused physical pain and put me and my child at risk. It just baffles me. I feel like he needs to know what he has done. He needs to know it wasnt ok and he hurt me. But I dint have the strength to even try to talk to him again. And it sucks because I’m forced to see him sunday at my baby shower. Then the week after is fucking fathers day. Then what am I supposed to do with that? I don't even want to see him again period and I’m forced to. I can't be having these things happen every single weekend when Im supposed to be relaxing and I don't know how to avoid it. I’m so fucking stressed out.  I wish I could just move far away and never see or speak to them again. I’m at my wits end and legitimately do not care anymore who I lose in the process but I can't do it with them being so close. I feel so trapped.

[badwolf1988-blog]

Winter Snow: Epilogue

10 YEARS LATER

“The reality show, Dog the Bounty Hunter, first aired twenty-three years ago and while the big Dog has been in retirement for close to a decade, his sons, fifty-four-year-old Duane Lee Chapman II and fifty-one-year-old Leland Chapman, as well as his thirty-two-year-old grandson, Dakota Chapman are keeping the family bounty hunting tradition alive.

Tonight on 20/20, the Chapman family opens up for the first time...including discussing the famous Chapman family estrangement.”

“I can't believe that we agreed to do this.” I groaned and buried my face in Dakota's chest. Who I thought I was hiding from, I had no idea.

When the producers of 20/20 had approached the family and asked us to do a special, I must have been in a really good mood to have agreed. Actually, I was in a good mood. That had been the day that I found out that I was pregnant for the fourth time.

As if on cue, my unborn son gave me a swift kick to the kidney.

“Urgh,” I moaned in frustration and discomfort. I was three days overdue and miserable. I shivered a little and Dakota reached to end of the bed and pulled the comforter up and over us. I turned my attention back to the television that hung on the wall over our dresser.

“For the past nine years, cameras have followed the second and third generations of Chapmans as they've hunted criminals in Colorado. The Dog House premiered in January 2018 on the A&E network and is currently in the middle of filming its tenth season.

Over the years, fans have grown to know and love Leland, Duane Lee, and Dakota as entities separate of Duane “Dog” Chapman.

We were there when Leland and his second wife, Jamie, welcomed twins Eliza Mary and Beau Lee in season one.

We were there when Duane Lee and his second wife, fellow bounty hunter and cast mate, Kasey traveled to Michigan to adopt son, Killian James. We were with them in Oklahoma when they adopted daughter, Penelope Amber. We watched as the couple welcomed son, Greyson Joseph in season four.

Cameras were on hand in 2019 when Dakota and wife, Winter became first-time parents to son, Maverick Leland.

Now, almost a decade after the show's pilot, only 20/20 can tell you what the Chapmans are up to now. We will start with fan favorite, Dakota.”

I started praying that I would go into labor so that I didn't have to watch this.

“Dakota resides in Aspen, Colorado where his wife, Winter, is the manager of her family's popular ski resort. We sat down with the couple in the three story cabin that they call home at the base of Aspen Mountain.

Reporter: How long have the two of you been married?

Dakota: Ten years this June.

Winter (giggles): We were still babies when we got married and started having babies.

Speaking of babies...remember baby Maverick? Well, he is a baby no more. He's eight-years-old and third grader who is homeschooled by mom, Winter...and he isn't alone. Dakota and Winter are also the proud parents of two daughters. Their six-year-old daughter, Scarlett Amiyah was born in January 2021. She was followed in August 2025 by two-year-old sister, Willa Cadence.

Reporter: So, you two have a houseful and it looks like that house is getting fuller. (She nods at Winter's barely there baby bump)

Dakota: Yeah, she swears this is the last one but we'll see. (He smirks playfully at Winter who just rolls her eyes.

Reporter: Do you know if you are having a boy or a girl?

Winter: It's a little boy...finally. Mav's been asking for a little brother pretty much from the moment he learned to talk. (laughs)

Reporter: Another Chapman man in the world. (shakes head) Does he have a name?

Dakota: Zane Dakota...and Winter is a saint for raising Chapman kids. For real, she's superwoman. She raises and homeschools the kids and she runs the resort. My world wouldn't turn and I wouldn't be able to do what I do if I didn't have her waiting at home for me. The day I met her, I was blessed.”

“Have I told you how much I love you recently?” I asked as I leaned up and placed a kiss on his chin.

“It's always nice to hear it, sweetie.” He kissed the top of my head as he started to gently rub my belly. He knew from experience that it soothed my sore stomach muscles.

A sharp pain (that was very familiar to a mother with three kids) hit my back and traveled to my stomach. I had been having Braxton hicks contractions for over a month so I didn't think anything of it. I simply took a deep breath to try and relax myself and turned my attention back to the television.

“Reporter: How does Dog feel about his great-grandchildren?

Winter (smiles uneasily): Dog has never met the kids...I'm pretty sure that he hasn't met Leland or Duane Lee's youngest children either.

Reporter (clearly surprised): Seriously? But on his reality show, he always seemed like a loving, doting grandfather. It's hard to believe that he has grandkids that he's never met.

Dakota (stony look on his face): The reality of the situation is that Dog didn't play a huge role in my childhood...or the childhoods of my dad or uncle for that matter. Growing up, I saw him very infrequently, and when I did see him the cameras were almost always rolling to make him look good. The last time I spoke to my grandfather was in 2017. I remember because it was the same day that Winter and I got engaged. Dog and Beth spent most of the afternoon being very unkind to Winter and my stepmom, Jamie. Both are very sweet women who did not deserve to be treated badly simply because they fell in love with Chapmans and didn't fit Dog and Beth's image of a perfect Chapman wife. I can forgive, but I can't forget, and to be honest, in ten years, neither Dog or Beth has reached out to try and make amends.”

At this point in the interview, it's obvious that Dakota got a bit choked up. You see, he just couldn't wrap his head around his grandfather's behavior. In the last ten years, Dakota and Leland had grown closer than most father and sons. Dakota went to his when he needed advice or simply just to talk and vent. Leland had even been the good grandfather and paced the waiting room when I had been in labor with each of our three kids. He didn't even care that we made him a grandfather at forty-three. He proudly showed off pictures of Maverick, Scarlett, and Willa to anyone who was nice (and dumb) enough to say they would look.

My dad also fell into the proud grandfather category. Zane was to be his namesake and if he was proud of his grandsons, his granddaughters had him wrapped around their collective fingers.

Now that Dakota was a father himself, Dog's actions made even less sense to him. My husband couldn't imagine being estranged from any of our kids for any reason. He couldn't even go to bed at night unless he had checked in on the kids. He never left for work until he had hugged and kissed all three goodbye. Just like my dad and Leland, Dakota was an amazing father. Maverick was our oldest and only eight and I knew that, already, Dakota was terrified of sending him off into the real world in ten years.

As another Braxton hicks contraction that I was starting to suspect wasn't actually a Braxton hicks contraction ripped through me, I did my best to breathe and once again returned my attention to the TV. I knew that at this point in the interview I had stepped in for an upset Dakota.

“Winter: What matters most is that our children have loving grandparents and step-grandparents. They have a great aunt and great uncle who spoil them rotten. They have me and Dakota who would die for them. They are surrounded by love and acceptance. I said this once, what feels like a million years ago but I'll say it again...this group of Chapmans sticks together and that isn't going to change.”

“Have I told you how much I love you recently?” Dakota threw my earlier words back at me as another contraction hit. “Because I do, Luna.” He used the nickname that I had grown used to over the years. “You've given me the world – a happy marriage, beautiful babies. You're amazing, sweetie.”

His words were so sweet and I wanted to tell him how much they meant to me but another contraction hit just as I felt a gush of warm water between my legs.

“Dakota, baby, I love you too but I think Zane is finally ready to meet his daddy.”

FINIS

I want to say thank you to the following Tumblr readers: @alwaysdearie, @franceswells

Also thank you to my reviewers from other sites:

@emmaswan4real (wattpad), @HannahtheBanana1994 (wattpad), @JBJ1987SC (wattpad), @TheCurtainFalls77 (wattpad), @carlycorinthos (wattpad), @HerRoyalAsshat (wattpad), @LordMeyers1996 (wattpad), @LaceEmHonMi (wattpad), @mememe2005 (wattpad), @Waking-The-Fallen (mibba), @ComAPittSHorroR (mibba), @saiiax (mibba), @A7_girl21 (mibba)

CHAPTER INDEX

MY WEBSITE

[darlinedishmon-blog]

MASTERY LEARNING PROJECT: PROJECT REFLECTION

After all the reading and various assignments that we completed, I have learned how vital and necessary copywriting is to sell a brand and that it must be effective to be successful. I was unfamiliar with copywriting prior to this class and at first, I was a bit intimidated because I’m good at creating visuals, but I don’t like to write, and I’m not very good at it. I’ve realized that writing good copy is much harder than many would think and there are a lot of steps and work that go into copywriting, definitely a lot more than I would have imagined.

We first had to choose a non-profit organization; I chose the Northeast Animal Shelter. I chose this non-organization because I love all animals and thankfully my organization is a No-Kill shelter, but I find it absolutely unfair and heartbreaking on how many animals are euthanized yearly at typical animal shelters.

These are the first steps to selling a brand:

When we first started working on selling our brands which were our organizations, I read all the information about the shelter on its website. I learned what their intended goal was, but then I had to determine who their target audience would be by creating personas, which are profiles of people who would be attracted to the shelter’s message and intentions.

I also did research on various typical shelters that euthanize animals within 72 hours of their arrival, if they were not immediately adopted. When I first started this research, I became distraught, and I cried a lot. Though this subject is very dear to my heart, I knew this project would be hard for me. I decided to step back, take a break, I composed myself, and then I started to focus on my organization that does as much as possible to save as many animals as they possibly can. This made me feel a little better, and I was able to continue on with my assignments.

It took a lot of time and research to obtain all the information that I needed for this project, and this was just the first few steps of the entire process. I knew I had a lot more work ahead of me, but I was determined to do the best I could by creating the best ads for my organization that would make their campaign successful.

As I mentioned earlier, I was amazed at all the steps needed to write copy to sell a brand. Doing the research and obtaining all the necessary information was just the beginning. It was now time to do more research and use our creative skills to create concepts and the actual ads. The following are other elements that must be developed prior to a copywriter creating an ad.

A copywriter needs to develop the following elements for an ad to be complete:

1. They must ensure that the ad’s message is relevant to the target audience.

2. They need to establish a call to action for the ad, which according to Lurie (2014) is telling the audience to do something. In my case, the call to action was to either donate or adopt an animal from their shelter.

Creating a call to action was easy for my organization.

3. For some brands, a powerful tagline/slogan needs to be created which will help communicate the brand’s message.

4. They need to create a dynamic headline that will grab the attention of the viewers and readers. Lurie (2014) states “A headline should grab attention, inform, and tie together the entire ad.” Lurie (2014) also mentions if a headline doesn’t grab the reader’s attention, it can make or break the rest of your copywriting, even if the rest of the copy is good.

Creating headlines for my organization was easy as well.

5. They need to create the perfect voice to sell the ad. According to Felton (2013, p. 93), the voice is the brand’s personality that will speak for and sell the ad. Felton also (2013, pp. 103) states “Every ad and corporate communication should be true to that personality, the brand’s tone and point of view.”

Creating the voices for my ads also came reasonably easy for me.

6. Lastly, they then need to create concepts which are the actual ads. According to Smallish (2013), A great concept requires ingenuity and innovative that will not only grab the reader’s attention, but will also hold their interest so that they will want to read the entire copy and ad. Smallish (2013) also mentions that the novelty of using bright colors to make an ad stand out might briefly attract a reader, but these techniques usually fade quickly due to overuse.

I’m very creative and can develop great visuals, but as I learned from my first set of comps, they were ok, but my copy was too wordy which would lose many reader’s attention, and they weren’t necessarily created appropriately for a brand magazine ad.

I learned a tremendous amount of information about the proper way to create a good ad with good copy. I’m grateful for that because I know I will have to create ads for brands in the future. The information that I learned was beneficial and be useful in my future.

Overall, after taking this course and learning all that goes into writing copy, I give copywriters a lot of credit. For someone who knows nothing about copywriting, they may think that an ad can be created within a few days or less. That’s what I thought. I was very naïve to think this way. I now know how much effort goes into effective and good copywriting.

For a professional copywriter, selling a brand most likely takes them less time to do, but they still have a lot of work and research that must be done, and if they’re working for a brand on a much larger scale, there is probably even more work involved. Kudos to all good copywriters!

References:

Felton, G. (2013). In Advertising: Concept and Copy (Third Edition) 3rd edition. (pp. 93-113). New York, NY; Norton, W. W. & Company, Inc. Retrieved from Vital Source Bookshelf.

Lurie, I. (2014). Learning to Write Marketing Copy. Retrieved from https://www.lynda.com/Business-Online-marketing-tutorials/Writing-Marketing-Copy/149250-2.html

Smallish, C. (2013). Developing Ideas and Advertising Concepts. Retrieved from https://www.lynda.com/Design-Business-tutorials/Developing-Ideas-Design-Concepts/126121-2.html

TARGET AUDIENCE PROFILES:

Through my research, I’ve learned that every person has such a different lifestyle. I already knew this, but because everyone’s life is so distinct, to sell a brand, you really do need to determine who the target audience is.

I concluded that the people who fit the target audience for my brand, the animal shelter, were either older people who had plenty of time on their hands or younger families with children. In both cases, there would always be someone around to care for an animal.

I also felt that career-oriented and/or single people didn’t fit the target audience because many of them work late hours or many single people still hang out with friends, going out and coming home after bars and nightclubs close. For these people, an animal would be left alone for much too long.

Understanding who the target audience is necessary to develop ads that will grab the attention of the proper people and influence them to follow through on the brand’s intentions and call to action. Also, creating profiles are another great way to fully determine who does and doesn’t fit the target audience.

For this profile, the woman Grace works from home, her adult children are all out of the house, she is recently widowed and she loves dogs. She is the type of person who perfectly fits the target audience.

According to Felton (2013, pp. 26-31) regarding consumer behavior, I believe Grace fits into two categories:

I believe she fits #7, Nurturance which is the need to provide care and to protect others. Since her kids are adults and she is widowed, by adopting a dog, she will be able to care for and protect the dog as she did for her family years before. Also, since she works from home, the dog would never be alone.

I also believe she fits #15, Security which is the need to be free from fear, feel safe and protected. Since she is recently widowed, she now lives alone which she hasn’t done in decades. This could be a bit scary for some. Having a dog in the house might make her feel more secure and safer, especially at nighttime. Also, a dog’s barking, in many cases acts as a deterrent from possible intruders. 

For this profile, the man Eric works your average Monday – Friday hours with no overtime, he’s married, has a 3-year old daughter and loves dogs. He is also the type of person who perfectly fits the target audience.

According to Felton (2013, pp. 26-31) regarding consumer behavior, I believe Eric fits into three categories:

I believe she fits #7, Nurturance which is the need to provide care and to protect others. I believe that his daughter would be so excited to have a dog that she is at an age where she would want to care for the dog as if it were a baby or baby doll.

I believe he fits #10, Stimulation which is the need for stimulating the senses, pursuing vigorous activity and engaging the mind and body. Since Eric has a 3-year old daughter who’s been wanting an animal for so long, by adopting a dog, he, his wife and his daughter can all experience a great amount of enjoyment playing and running around with a dog. Also, having a dog cuddle up to a person and licking them to show their affection would stimulate anyone’s senses.

I also believe she fits #15, Security which is the need to be free from fear, feel safe and protected. I believe that Eric would feel more comfortable having a dog in the house, especially when he’s at work knowing that a dog could protect his wife and child from an intruder. Also, a dog’s barking, in many cases acts as a deterrent from possible intruders.

INITIAL COMPS:

I developed my strongest concepts and wrote copy that I felt would connect with the target audience by using images on animals that have been starved, abused and or abandoned. Seeing an innocent animal in despair would grab the attention of most people, it would affect them emotionally and possibly persuade them to want to help an animal.

I wrote headlines that were heartbreaking, but unfortunately true and as Felton (2013, pp. 195-218) states, “Nothing cuts through the crap and clutter of advertising better than a real, true fact about the product. Nothing is more persuasive.”

My body copy was written to influence the target audience to follow through on the call to action which was to donate or adopt an animal from the shelter. In regards to the checklist for body copy, my copy falls under Felton’s (2013, pp.128) #7, Persuasiveness which asks questions like, Does the copy persuade or just describe? How convincing and motiving is it? I believe my body copy is persuasive, convincing and it will motivate people.

REVISED COMPS:

In regards to my revised comps, I made modifications to my comps regarding the formatting to make them look more like ads that you would see in a magazine.

I also re-designed one of them, so that all my comps weren’t sad and depressing. My one re-designed comp is now happy and uplifting and would give the target audience a positive feeling about adopting an animal.

I was also asked to create an enrichment comp. For this comp, (last comp listed) I chose to give this comp both a negative and positive feel to it. As you will see, it shows a before and after image of a dog that was once abused and neglected. The before-photo is distressing, but after the dog was rescued and brought to the animal shelter, the after-photo shows how well the dog is doing now. I believe it’s a very inspiring comp that would motivate a person to want to help out an animal once they see the end results and realized how much donations really do help out animals in need.

I believe my revised comps are unique for an unfortunate situation that needs to be dealt with on a much larger scale. I believe they look very professional, I believe their headlines and body copy are persuasive and overall, I believe that they would make this campaign very successful.

ENRICHMENT COMP:

MY TAKEAWAYS:

The following are the three acquired competencies that I feel I have learned from this course that will help me tremendously in the future as a Graphic Designer:

1. I have learned how vital copywriting is to successfully sell a brand. That being said, I now believe I have the ability to write effective headlines and body copy which will be beneficial and necessary for me to know how to do in the future.

2. I have learned the proper way to construct and/or format a comp to make it look like a professional magazine ad which will be extremely beneficial to me as a Graphic Designer.

3. After all the writing that we’ve done during this course, I feel that my APA writing skills have improved and I have more confidence now when it comes to writing in APA style as well as writing in general. I’m not as intimidated as I was when I first start this course. This will be extremely helpful for me in the future.

[jadeg2212-blog]

Varadkar is a bollocks

I’m just gonna use here to vent as to why I think our new gay Taoiseach isn’t as progressive as the empty heads I’ve been talking to think he is because nobody will have this conversation with me and it’s making me a bit agitated.

FIRST OF ALL let me give a bit of back story on the imposter. Leo Varadkar is the leader of Fine Gael, he also happens to be gay and he also happens to be the son of an immigrant. His dad is Indian and his mother is Irish, he is first generation Ireland, he was born and raised in Ireland.

Secondly he wasn’t elected as Taoiseach, I’d just like to correct all of the articles that say different. Enda Kenny resigned which meant the leader in our majority party became Taoiseach. He was elected by his party not democratically by the people. Every article that didn’t clarify that is wrong.

It’s interesting to note that his competition, Simon Coveny, who got the majority of votes from the grass roots and Leo got the majority of the votes from the politicians themselves. Politicians votes are worth two thirds of the vote leaving the grass root votes to only count for one third. So he ended up winning and I think it’s very telling that the Politicians voted for him and the grass roots didn’t. The politicians seem to have a bit of a double win on their hands now not only is Leo absolutely playing by their rules to the letter of the fucking law BUT he is gay so they can trot him out anytime somebody says they aren’t progressive.

So let me list in no particular order why Varadkar is an imposter (or more to the point, why he’s not progressive or he’s not a progressive choice for Taoiseach)

In 2010 Varadkar was accused of sexism, this is one of the reasons I feel he is anti woman. He was accused of Sexism and said ‘If anything, I went easier on Mary Coughlan because she is a woman’ yep. Because that’s what sexism is, when you don’t go easy enough of somebody. *eye roll*

In 2016 while Varadkar was health minister he claimed to not understand the question when asked if abortion was a class issue and he dismissed the question. So in Ireland, if you can afford to fly to England and have an abortion, good for you, you abort that baby, but if you are too poor to do that tough shit, you’re having it. It’s interesting to note, he is the son of an immigrant which is being touted as 'amazing progressive’ but he was born and bred in North Dublin, he comes from an affluent family, he was privately educated in secondary school and then studied law in TCD briefly before switching to Medicine and qualifying as a general practitioner in 2010. He has never been poor, he is very upper middle class at the very lowest so I think touting him as the son of an immigrant like 'oh my god, this is amazing’ is a bit deceptive because Leo definitely grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth. One, a lot of the rest of us. Didn’t. And one, a lot of the women who can’t get an abortion, didn’t either.

Last month, Varadkar was asked about gender equality and responded that he would be 'fair to men’ and promised that they wouldn’t be 'marginalised’ because that is the aim of feminist around the world??? it’s not about equal rights for both sexes (which is the literal definition) but it’s about marginalising the men. Thank god they have Leo here to protect them.

Then we introduced civil partnerships in 2010 which he was against, and he was not against it for the same reasons I, or thousands of other people were against civil partnerships for reasons like there are 160 differences between that and legal marriage, which is completely unfair and not equal at all but he was against it because in his own words, speaking in the Dáil in 2009 against the civil partnership campaign he said that 'two men cannot have a child, two women cannot have a child, a child has the right to a mother and father and whenever possible the state should try vindicate that right and the right of a child to have a mother and father was much more important than two men or two women having a family’ or in other words, Leo Varadkar is a member of 'Mother and Fathers matter’ or he might as well be.

So our first openly gay Taoiseach has debated in our government against giving gay people equal rights, both the rights to adopt and the rights to a civil partnership and then he the audacity to wear a rainbow flag on the day of the marriage equality vote like he hasn’t done either of those things.

Then in 2010 Leo opened his big mouth again and said 'it’s very clear in our constitution that it’s a man marrying a woman largely with the view of having a natural family and if they are unable to do so they are obviously able to adopt and I would be of the view it doesn’t have to be for everybody but the preferable construct in a society, is the traditional family and the state through our laws should protect and promote that’ so not progressive.. at all. I understand he made these comments before he officially came out, but I don’t think it’s good enough that he never apologised for them. I understand that there are factors that play that maybe he was trying to fit in to and he was worried that somebody was going to find out that he was gay and I understand that and I have to make allowances for that but he has never publicly apologised for speaking out against the rights of the the very section of society he identifies with.

Recently in Ireland we had a citizens assembly to discuss the issue that is the eight amendment of red constitution. They voted overwhelmingly to replace the amendment and recommended with over sixty percent of the vote that Irish women should be allowed safe and legal access to abortion up to 22 weeks with no requirement to give a reason and that it should be sent forward to the Oireachtas.

Varadkar then came out and said he wanted Fine Gael to be a 'warm house’ for those who had conservative views on abortion. Our abortion situation at the moment is actually going against the U.N. court of human rights. His competitor Simon Coveny is arguably worse coming out and saying he is 'uncomfortable with women having bodily autonomy’ and Michael Martin took the biscuit by saying women should not be able to have an abortion because it’s not the babies fault. So Varadkar is not the worst here but he isn’t the progressive liberal he’s painted out to be either.

As minister for health in January 2015 Varadkar said he was pro life and said 'I understand the the unborn is a human with rights and that I do not adhere to abortion on request or in demand. I also stated and truly believe that this is a situation where there are few certainties and that family and doctors having to make extremely difficulty ethical and clinical decisions. Which is true. Like I’m 2014 where a pregnant teenage from the country side became suicidal when she realised she was pregnant and she wanted an abortion so she was told she would be given one and instead she was locked up in psychiatric care and kept there for the duration of her pregnancy. How long was she in there? Did she miss the window? Nobody knows because nobody fucking cares about woman in this country.

Varadkar in my opinion is a classist elitist who led his campaign for leadership on an anti welfare campaign and that infuriates me, he claims that his figures for welfare fraud last year were were eleven times higher than the official department figures. So it was actually eleven times more of an issue than it was actually made out to be. The official figures from the department were one. ONE. One convicted case of welfare fraud. There were ten more cases that were dropped because there wasn’t enough evidence. Varadkar figures included the ten cases that were dropped because they hadn’t enough evidence. He said things like 'only those zoo contribute to the system will benefit’ but never clarified what his idea of a contribution was so that’s quite problematic and concerning in my opinion. He also proposed to publish names of convicted welfare cheats on the internet. That’s right, the new 'progressive’ Taoiseach ran on a campaign that promised to doc people, so people who have already been convicted, who served their time or done their community service or even who have been through the justice system and had justice served. He wants to docs them. Of course everybody in FG thought this was a wonderful idea. Although he mad his whole campaign about FG calling them the 'party of people who get up early in the mornings’ Do you know who doesn’t get up early in the morning? Those who work nights, those who work shifts, those who can’t. It’s an ableist classist approach that also manages to leave out hard working people like doctors for example unemployment was at 14% its lowest under his party Fine Gael so if that were to happen again I wouldn’t expect there to be a net there to catch you. As an antidote Varadkar was quoted a few years ago saying 'Tiny Tim from the Christmas Carol should get a job’ I just hope he didn’t watch the film and the comment was coming from a complete lack of preparedness and a complete lack of research because if not he’d be insinuating a severely disable character in a children’s Christmas film should 'get a job’

In 2011 he ran a campaign as minister for social protection called 'Welfare Cheats us all’ that cost 200k to bring eleven people to court and only convicted one. If that ONE person who cheated welfare on €188 a week had to cover the cost of Varadkars campaign they would have had to claim social welfare for 22 years. Interesting Apple can get away with billions of euro in tax but ONE person cheats the welfare and the whole system has to be done away with?

As minister for health he presided over the worst A+E crisis the country has ever seen. Although in fairness, Simon Coveny who is minister for housing has presided over the worst housing crisis in the history of the country so it needs to be made clear is competition was arguably no better.

Just to add more petrol to the fire he also wants to ban strikes in the public sector. It is the fundamental right of a worker to strike to better their situation.

But sure I suppose he’s better than Enda?