#my therapist said i could still email him and he wouldn't reply in 8 hours but that he would reply and that i wouldn't be a bother | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

there-will-be-a-way · 1 year ago

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I'm so not okay. I'm having a feeling I can't name. It's just cold, so cold. Maybe it's fear? Doom? I had this feeling during the last year I lived in isolation, once when I wrote a chapter for my second book, then again when I visited my family for Christmas last year and it held on until January. Maybe it's loneliness? I don't feel good about going to the rehab clinic and being so far away from home, my support system and my friends.

But I could likely have email contact with my therapist and I could call my one friend every day. And I will come back home. If worst comes worst, I could leave early. But I'm really not feeling good. My emotions are so cold. Just cold.

#personal posts #if I still had the skill to cry I would be sobbing #but for today i only have to manage to get through the night #maybe i can watch ghibli movies until i fall asleep #even writing doesn't comfort me #i don't know who i am #i want to escape #even thought about relapsing just so that i wouldn't have to leave #i don't want to leave i don't want to leave #it's safe here and everywhere else is unsafe #i would talk to my carer or my therapist but they are all on holiday #my therapist said i could still email him and he wouldn't reply in 8 hours but that he would reply and that i wouldn't be a bother #if this feeling lasts i will email him #i'm so scared #so so scared #like my life is falling apart #but why

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