#my teenage self who just wanted to read some fics on them but couldn't find any would be so happy

[deus-sema]

The (obvious) Haladriel agenda is spreading and it pleases me so much.

[yayakoishii]

Childish Mistake | Kalego x Reader

Fandom: Mairimashita! Iruma-kun

Pairing: Naberius Kalego x Fem! Reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Genre/Tags: Fluff, Married Relationship, Memory Loss + Deaging Potion Accident

Summary: You have an accident and end up losing your memory and reverting into your teenage self.

A/n: I'm starting to think that all my fics for this fandom will be spur of the moment, I-got-possessed type of fics lol. I read the Kalego Gaiden and caught up to the manga so, I obviously had to write for him~ I really want to write a teenage Kalego or Balam fic tho! so much fun to write about their Babyls days...

also available on ao3!

"Sensei!!" A shout had you pausing in your steps. You turned around to find a student running to you with a desperate expression and your admonition about running in the hallways died on your lips.

"Is everything okay?" You asked in concern. He stopped just short of bumping into you and panted.

"There's been some disturbance at the Magic Development battler!" He said immediately. "I think one of the potions leaked and students have become all aggressive. Fights are breaking out!"

"Oh no," you muttered under your breath and immediately dashed to the battler's room. You could make out some of the abnormal class students trying to subdue the aggressive ones; Jazz must have called for help. "Alright, break it off!"

You immediately cast spells to get everyone distanced as you joined the fray. With a snap of your finger, you bound up the students who were trying to lunge at the others again. There was still chaos and shouting and you turned to see the Magic Development battler wailing and getting angry– a lot of the potions and gadgets were now broken and spilled over the floor. You carefully tried to walk around them to where the battler head was but accidentally bumped into a shelf where only one bottle was remaining.

Your eyes widened as you watched the contents spill on top of you in slow motion, your reflexes only fast enough to close your eyes in time so that it wouldn't blind you.

Excruciating pain ripped through your body and you couldn't help but let out a bloodcurdling scream. It felt like your blood was on fire and like your skin was being stretched taut. You crumpled into yourself, balling up on the floor, too overwhelmed by the pain to heed the concerned shouts of your students as you passed out.

•

Kalego was walking down the hallways to the staff room when he heard the commotion coming from the Magic Development battler. A scream he had never heard before pierced the corridors and he immediately rushed over; he had never heard it before but it still sounded familiar. There were students shouting and he parted them with a wave of his hand, trying to get to the centre of the commotion.

The purple haired teacher was shocked to find you lying on the floor. Well… ‘you’ was a bit of a stretch. Because the one lying unconscious on the floor was not the you he talked to, but the you from your teenage, when you both attended Babyls as students. You had somehow reverted to that age and Kalego was glaring at the students in a silent question.

Everyone seemed relieved that he was here (a first, he mused) but it took a few minutes for them to properly tell him what the hell had happened. Kalego sighed and immediately called for more teachers to take care of the affected and bound students. He himself made his way over to your unconscious body and started to pick you up so he could take you to the infirmary but the moment he touched you, you woke up with a loud gasp.

Kalego froze and looked at you, finding it strange to look at your younger self. Your wide eyes were still the same and yet, teenage you somehow seemed more brighter and innocent. Like you had yet to see the horrors of the world.

"What's your name?" Kalego asked immediately in lieu of checking your memory after he had helped you sit up. You cocked your head at him, staring unblinkingly. He waited for a few seconds but you didn't respond. "Can you hear me? Can you talk?"

"Uh, yeah," you nodded and blinked, cheeks flushing. It did not go amiss by Kalego, who only now remembered something you had told him a long, long time ago. "I'm (y/n). What's, what's your name, mister?"

Kalego could feel the silent stares from the students all around him and decided that he needed them gone.

"Alright, get out of here," he shot everyone a glare and most of them scampered off, not wanting to bring on the wrath of the guard dog of Babyls. The Abnormal class stayed behind but Kalego glared at them too. "You won't get a special warning. Leave."

They were hesitant but agreed to leave only after Iruma asked, "Will she be fine? Can you fix this?" and Kalego had answered an unwilling "Yes." It appeased them for now and they left him alone with you, who were looking at everything in curiosity.

"List everything you can remember and are aware of," Kalego said immediately, not bothering to get up from where he was crouched next to you. You immediately straightened up at his commanding tone.

"My name is (l/n) (y/n), 16 years old, student at Babyls," you said quickly, eyes flashing over your surroundings. "You are… Naberius Kalego. Last thing I remember is watching my juniors' Harvest Festival before going to sleep. Judging by my surroundings, I'm guessing I am currently at Babyls but… this is an unfamiliar Babyls. I have probably lost a lot of my memory if I'm correct in my assumption."

"Yeah, it's a lot," Kalego sighed and stood up, offering his hand to you. Your eyes flicked to the hand and you blushed even more furiously. Now was not the time but Kalego couldn't help but be pleased at how flustered you were getting around him. You had told him long back when you got together that you had had a crush on him since your school days. He had only nodded and moved on but now. Now he could see its effect in action.

"Thank you," you took the hand and stood up. You followed him and Kalego could see you glancing at him with awestruck eyes as you walked.

"Is there something on my face, (l/n)?" He asked calmly, enjoying this. It had been years since he had called you by that name. It wasn't even your name anymore.

Your excited smile dropped immediately at his question and you looked heartbroken. It made him pause. Kalego hadn't noticed you in school days much. In fact, when you joined as a teacher, he just remembered you by virtue of you being one of the top scorers during your years. He hadn't got to see your younger face much and unexpectedly, he had the chance now– yet he had somehow made you sad.

"What's wrong?" He asked, failing to hide his concern. He wouldn't let it slip to anyone but you… you were different. He could let it slip because you would never tease him. You huffed and looked away, pouting.

"I don't know, Naberius," you bit back. Kalego had to bite down a smile threatening to pop up on his face. If only you knew that you were Naberius too. "I'm not stupid. I can tell that you're all grown up. You look pretty much the same. I can hazard a guess that I probably fulfilled my dream of becoming a teacher at Babyls too."

"What's the problem then?" He asked as the two of you started walking again. The infirmary was close now.

"I don't know," you said quietly, looking sad. "I thought… I thought we'd be closer now, I guess. I want to befriend you, you know? Ah, I mean, for you, it's probably in the past. I guess I'm just sad that I failed to do it."

"Who says we're not closer?" Kalego asked as he opened the door for you and gestured for you to go in. You went in and shot him another tiny glare. It really was cute.

"You're calling me by my surname," you pointed out. "Not even a bit different from my memories."

"I did that to suit your memories," Kalego answered, moving to the shelf to bring out certain ingredients. A quick and easy recipe to fix the problem at hand. "If you wanted me to call you by your new surname, you could have said that outright."

There was silence in the room as Kalego quietly worked on mixing the antidote. He waited a few minutes but with no response from you, he had to look up. You were staring at the ground in horror, looking absolutely terrified with tears in your eyes. Internally, he wondered how much he had fucked up to see you cry.

You never cried because of him. The only times he saw you crying was during the days leading up to your rare evil cycle. Even when he was mean to you, glared at you, or accidentally said anything hurtful, you had never cried because of him. You had looked sad and always talked it out like a mature adult but, he had forgotten that right now, you were just a teenager.

He was your husband but… he actually had no idea how to comfort you when you were crying. Kalego ditched the antidote to make his way to where you were sitting. He kneeled in front of you and took your hands in his own.

The action startled you and you stared at his hands in amazement.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. A genuine apology was always a good start whenever he upset you. "I didn't mean to freak you out. I just wanted to tease you a little."

"Telling a 16 year old they're married to someone is cruel, Kalego," you huffed. He raised an eyebrow at the usage of his first name. You looked away, face flushed again. "What? Do I not call you that? What do I call you then? Darling? Love? Here, doggy doggy?"

Kalego's face scrunched up at that last remark and you burst out laughing. He let your hands go but you grabbed his, looking pleased.

"So I was right," you breathed out, looking a little amazed. You could tell from the way he was acting around you, concerned and teasing like he was very familiar with you. "You really… married me?"

"Yes, I had a lapse of judgement five years ago," Kalego stood up but didn't try to get his hands back from you. You tugged him to sit next to you on the bed, eyes still glimmering with excitement. You clearly didn't read into his attempt at seeming nonchalant.

"Shut up!" You beamed, eyes raking over his entire body. "I can't believe I convinced you to marry me. Good job, future me!"

Kalego didn't tell you that you had hardly needed to do any convincing. He was unfortunately quite in love with you. He was the one who had to do the convincing, actually. You had insisted on a romantic proposal and refused him three times before you finally deemed his proposal worthy.

"I can't believe I'm really living my dream life," you couldn't stop smiling, looking absolutely giddy. You had dropped his hands to cup your own face. "I'm sure I tell you this all the time but, you look very hot in your teacher uniform, Kalego."

"You sure got used to saying my first name quickly," he said dryly, trying to switch the topic. It was one thing when you said it to him before dragging him to bed. It was another if you said it in your teenage body with none of your memories. You grinned at his remark.

"I've been preparing for this ever since I met you," you said, a little shy at the sudden confession. Kalego felt like his heart was going to burst if you kept making new admissions to his face. He would never show it to anyone because showing he cared was showing weakness, but damn if he did not love you with every inch of his body. "I… I'm sure the me of your present is living a very happy and satisfied life."

"You are," Kalego smiled softly. You froze at the sight, body shaking in shock at the fact that this older Kalego had just smiled at you. Right. 16 year old you had never been on the receiving end of one of his smiles, right? "I try my best to ensure that."

"I- I see!" You squeaked, face fully red as you tried to hide it. Kalego got up and went back to finish making the antidote. There was silence again for a while before you spoke up. "Are… Are you happy too, Naberius?"

You had switched back to his surname in your nervousness but hearing you say it made him smile. It really had been so long since you had called him by his surname.

"The happiest," he confirmed as he finished making the potion to fix you. He non-verbally cast the spell on it and walked over to you. "I… don't know if I'm doing a good job but, I really try my best to keep you happy."

"You're silly," you smiled at him as you took the potion from him. You smiled down at it, more to yourself than him. "I may not have my memories, but I know I am the happiest too."

With that, you downed the potion in one go. Kalego immediately caught you in his arms as you dropped unconscious and started morphing back to your actual age. In a strange way, today's events had let him meet the you of so many years ago– a side of you he never had the chance to meet.

Even back then, when he hadn't noticed you, you were brilliant, smart and quick to understand your surroundings and yourself. Kalego smiled at the top of your head as he gently picked you up and placed you flat on the infirmary bed.

Today's mistake was unlike you but… that was okay. You weren't perfect and that was fine. As your husband, it was Kalego's job to ensure that you were okay even when you end up accidentally dousing yourself in age-reverting memory potions. Seeing you knocked out like this, trusting him fully, Kalego couldn't help but think. He was the guard dog of Babyls; that was his destined duty from the moment he was born.

But being your protector, your lover, the one who stood by your side– that was his choice.

A duty he was just as happy to fulfil.

°•❀•°

all likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! ♡

[johnslittlespoon]

20 questions for writers

thank you @triggerlil for the tag!! <3 i'm so late omg but this was FUN, first tag game i've done that's more author than writing snippet/drabble related :-)

tagging @air-exec, @counting0nit, @don-humes-tiny-shorts, @eternallytired17, @hauntingcontradiction

@nicijones, @bucking-mustangs-with-wings, @swifty-fox, @mangokittokatsu, anyone else who wants to! i love reading tag games like these, it's nice to learn more about the ppl behind all the brainrot :')

questions & answers below the cut! x

how many works do you have on ao3?

12!

what's your total ao3 word count? 50,182 wtf i only made my ao3 in january lol

what fandoms do you write for?

i've written for lotssss over the past decade, but my current ao3 is just saltburn and masters of the air fics :-) for the sake of this tag i'm just gonna stick to my mota fics in my answers tho since yk. mota blog lol

top 5 fics by kudos?

i don't wanna be alone tonight – buckbucky breathe me in (exhale slow) – buckbucky you're a dog (i'm your man) – buckbucky you put your arms around me (and i'm home) – buckbucky four–by–four – buckbucky

do you respond to comments?

every single one <33 i take a long while sometimes because i get too lost in the actual writing or i get overwhelmed by the kindness lol but i always always respond eventually :')

what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

definitely i see you in the daytime (i hear you at night), my first fic for masters of the air actually that spawned as a way to vent my feelings after the dreaded third episode lmaoo </3 thought that would get those boys out of my system, and i couldn't be happier to have been more wrong <3

what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

ruh roh this kinda made me realize all my fics have some sorta melancholy/bittersweet ending even when they're hopeful... yad(iym) is gonna fix me fr (i think). but i guess the fuse to my fire since curt lives and the three of them are curtbuckbuckying indefinitely <3

do you get hate on fics?

i have in past fandoms but not here thankfully bc i am sensitive LOL. i've had weirdo anons that bitch about john bottoming (and i don't think those people realize it makes me inclined to write even more sub and/or bottom john to be petty SJGDK) but i wouldn't consider that hate, just bad fandom etiquette ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

do you write smut?

YEAHHH BABY <3 that's like. 99% of my drabbles/brainrot posts here and it takes serious self control to not just constantly write pwp oneshots, it's too much fun!! finding the balance in my chaptered fic for how much nsfw is too much is such a journey too lol, i wanna cram a spicy scene into every chapter but the part of me that adores slowburn over any other trope reins the gay brain in </3

craziest crossover?

haven't written any as of yet, but i do have my leaving!bikeriders au that i'm hoping to turn into a chaptered fic this summer, and that's exactly what it sounds like– buckbucky, but yank parts of callum's character from the leaving series and parts of austin's character from the bikeriders to create a buckbucky modern au. :-)

have you ever had a fic stolen?

i'm sure back in the wattpad days of the early '10s lol but none that i specifically remember!

have you ever had a fic translated?

in past fandoms!

have you ever co-written a fic before?

perhaps @curtsbigspoon and i cooked up like. 15k words of buckbucky thigh fucking etc months ago that i just need to get around to cutting down/editing >:-)

all time favorite ship?

i mean for me it's always a ship from whatever media i'm fixating on, so right now any variations of curtbuckbucky and cattonquick are everything to me <3 but in terms of ships that'll always have my heart, i can't ever let go of drarry, pricefield, clexa/murphamy, sciles/sterek– any from media i consumed during formative teenage years lol. but i will say i have never created anywhere near as much content for any other fandom as i have for mota :')

what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

for once i actually have none that i see myself abandoning! i would notoriously abandon wips in past fandoms and probably would still, but guess who finally got on adhd meds last month after years of waiting? this guyyyy. i can start projects... and enjoy them the whole way through... and not get frustrated and trash them... who am i

i mean tbf i have at least a dozen wips that i've gotten either a few paras or few thousand words into lol but then a new shiny idea grabs my attention, but i do think i'll end up finishing most if not all of them off eventually! once i've invested enough time/words into a wip, i feel way more motivated to finish it so i'm not 'wasting' my efforts.

what are your writing strengths?

i feel most confident when i'm writing dialogue over anything else. writing conversation–heavy scenes or just straight up porn is when i overthink the least lmaoo

what are your writing weaknesses?

oh god, definitely having to spell out what's going on in a character's mind. like, i know what they're thinking as i'm writing out scenes; i can feel their emotions and all. i just have such a hard time putting it into words in a way that doesn't feel too obvious/overstated, if that makes sense. i very much prefer to show rather than tell their emotions, but sometimes it's hard to get that right, and i agonize over solo scenes the most, when i can't show what a character is feeling by way of verbal conversation with another character.

thoughts on dialogue in another language?

no specific opinion! sometimes it's cool to read/write, mostly i don't really have an opinion one way or another :-)

first fandom you wrote in?

lmfaooo i'm pretty sure it was either for olddd youtube ships or frerard ngl. not sure which came first bc i wrote so much at once

favorite fic you've written?

you're a dog (i'm your man) has been such a labour of love for me because i care so much about doing it justice :') so maybe that one, but if unfinished fics don't count, i actually wrote breathe me in (exhale slow) in one rushed four–ish hour sitting and was kinda neutral on it until i got a completely unexpected burst of kind and beautifully worded responses, and then i felt a tiny bit proud <3

[wardsbackpoet]

THE MUSIC YOU HAVE IN TWEEKS PLAYLIST IS SO 🤭🤭🤭 LIKE IVE NEVER MET ANYONE THAT KNEW BLOOD FOR BLOOD

I honestly don't remember when I discovered Blood for Blood, but I think I might have my former boss (he'd get annoyed and say he wasn't my 'boss' 'cause he doesn't like 'bosses and never wanted to have nor be one; For context, he wasn't really my boss, I was self-employed, but working at his tattoo shop) / fill-in father-figure for a bit, a longtime friend of mine, to thank for that. That man is honestly 100% self-made and has an ethic and ethos I can really look up to and respect. We're also both into Madball, and I recently went to one of their shows. He couldn't go, due to ongoing cancer treatments.

Me and another friend of my former boss (actually, the co-owner of that shop I was working at), spoke with the band, got them all to sign a shirt for him and we brought it to his house the next day. He was super touched. Great group. We'd only asked one band member to sign as the rest were busy packing up gear, and he suggested he could go and get the rest to add their autographs, we were super grateful.

Also, I 100% get that frustration of never meeting anyone who likes/knows what you like and know. When I was a teen, the definition of 'hardcore' had slipped, and to me, it was still bands like Blood for Blood, Madball, Biohazard, Agnostic Front, Fugazi originating from the movement started by 7 Seeconds, Minor Threat, Black Flag, Sick of it All, etc. I saw Terror (which I like) as like, the band bridging how I defined hardcore to how kids of my generation defined it.

To the kids around me, it was this stuf with like, a lot of 'Woah-oh-oohs', in the midst of screaming. My whole view of it was 'it's a'ight, but that's not my scene', and I was often disappointed (and eventually disillusioned) when kids were like, "oh, I like hardcore too!". Over the years, my follow-up question changed from an enthusiastic "Oh awesome! Wanna go to a show? Wanna obsess about this Bad Brains album with me" to a bored, "Oh yeah? So like, what bands?" To which I'd hear Stick to your guns, Underoath, Silverstein or whatever else was popular at that time.

I ran into the same problem with kids saying they liked punk too. They weren't talking about Discharge or Subhumans, or Thulsa Doom, or Conflict, Descendants or NOFX. They meant The Used and Blink182, Rise Against and whatnot. I was utterly confused and felt born 20 years too late for real.

I was just...well, I longed for a more precise vocabulary to become more widely-used so I'd stop getting my hopes up/getting frustrated about the fact we really weren't talking about the same thing. I was a teenaged musical elitist, yup. A real fuckin' snob. I'm more open-minded today but it was disappointing and disheartening, only really finding like-minded musical peers among people at least a decade older than I was.

So, in contrast, meeting people who actually liked what I liked was always so exciting and felt really validating at a time when I felt as though there was always a barrier to being understood by my peers, and to connecting with them on a less than superficial level.

You didn't ask for that full analysis and I regret having overthought and rambled, but I typed it so you're getting it, I guess. Sorry?

& Thanks for reading the fic & I promise to update soon. Life's just been kicking my ass recently but it's okay, 'cause I just remembered I can kick back.

Also, I just realized maybe I rambled so much because the upcoming chapter explores some of those themes with Tweek finding it hard to find common ground with kids his age as well. So, maybe?

Anyways. THANKS FOR READING IT AND BEING PATIENT ON UPDATES.

& HMU if ever you wanna chat music or whatever else.

[valkyrieofsmut]

Just wanted to share how I see reader in any self insert fanfics I read

(I DID NOT DRAW THESE!!! I MADE THEM IN PICREW!! But otherwise I own... Myself basically? Just like... A different looking version of myself??? Whatever lol)

First image is her as a 12 yr old child who has a serious case of resting bitch face syndrome which may have left her with little to no friends and leads her into a lot of fights that could have been avoided but she was perfectly fine with that lol

2nd is her as a teenager (and had just beaten the hell out of someone, only applicable to some fics though otherwise she's normal and NOT covered in blood lol) but couldn't be bothered to cut her hair and barely brushes it which is why it's in a ponytail (she wakes up too early just to get to school you think she's gonna bother cutting it or/and brushing it?) She also developed a more apathetic resting face instead of angry... People find it more unnerving which amuses her and makes them less likely to approach her, much less bother or confront her lol

3rd is her as a full grown adult who has cut her hair a bit shorter than her teenage years but she still prefers to just braid it (a bit more work but it stays in and doesn't get messy as easily) and she learned to smile when amused... Which is all the more terrifying for others since it doesn't quite look... Normal and seems off.. especially if you only ever seen her other more angry looking or/ and her apathetic face and she's just fine with that and even does it to mess with what small group of friends she has

Of course this is all toned down or cranked up depending on what fic I'm reading lol

For example in Tokyo Revengers' Bonten timeline it's cranked to the max but with your bone brigade boys she's much kinder and even sweet (plus the boys can feel her intent so it don't bother them as much I reckon, at least not enough to bring it up...)

And she knows how to slide in her normal mask (any autistic folks here would know all about that... Me included) for her work/dealing with society soo...

In short she might be just a TAD unhinged in some fics, some she's a downright serial killer, and some just misunderstood lol

Wow... My self inserts are super lame and unimaginative in comparison....

Female. Long hair (mine can be tucked in my waistband, I sit on it occasionally...), usually a strawberry blond or purple in color. Eyes, two of them, usually a blue-green color. Shorter than I actually am because I want my mans to be taller than me for once!! 😭😭😭 A body that if I think about it is; Big boobs because I can't remember what life is like without them... Lol (one cup can make a hat... My friends decided to mess with them... Lol), chubby, ten fingers, ten toes... a tail and ears in reaction to situations sometimes, and... Um... Clothes... Either jeans or leggings... Big baggy shirt... Sneakers/skate shoes... Oh! Almost forgot a mouth and nose! Because she does breath, and talks sometimes... Lol

Thank you for sharing!

[honestlyvan]

I think I get what you mean about the weird found family stuff. I also don't really love shipping stuff, but, at least in the last couple of years, I find people get real weird about stuff like "oh he's the found family dad" sort of thing. It's hard to describe why it weirds me out, but I think it's that compulsion to give the characters "roles" in the found family stuff, where when I think of irl friends who are as close to me as family, I don't think of them as like a "sibling", they're just in my mind categorized under "family".

Of course this isn't even mentioning the weird sex negative stuff. Sometimes I want characters to have freaky weird sex stuff in their lives! Unsanitized. People into genfic can be weird about that stuff.

Yeah like for me it was the worst during the height of XC2's popularity and the absolute wealth of raging about the anime fanservice game having anime fanservice in it and the desperate urge to Divest From The Queer Horny that came with it. I don't know if the majority of the people perpetuating the moral panic eventually realised they were just useful idiots and the Killing The God That Supplanted Reality franchise was the place to get into endless unnecessary tailspins about sexual purity or not but it definitely put me off on quite a permanent basis in trying to do anything that deals with eroticism in this franchise.

It was all very prescriptivist, it was all very twee, it was all trying so hard to be cuddly and nonthreatening and safe, and it just got so uncomfortable when people were bringing all their deeply sexual baggage into the conversation over a story that, as horny as it was in places, just completely lacked any sort of genuine eroticism to me. The very few things that were hot to me that I was interested in exploring were completely ignored by-and-large, disinteresting to anyone but me, specifically. And I just couldn't get a conversational foothold about them with anyone, so I gave up.

So I kinda have this same problem with XC3 atm where I actually do find some things in it really damn hot and I am embracing the eroticism and then.... I just fail to find people with similar interests so I have no good fic to read and nobody to really talk to about it. (I've dragged two people into XC3 with me to have someone to wordvomit about the OTP to). The overt hostility against sex isn't as present, in my experience, but even if people didn't titter around the sexual aspects of the story as much.... IDK man I am tired and I am not a teenager anymore at this point themes of self-discovery and adolescence and normative pairbonding just don't do shit for me. None of it is queer and weird enough, nobody here is that attractive to me anyway, I'd much rather read gen, but then the gen is also kinda just. Like that lol.

And I know I'm probably biased, I definitely read less Xenofic than I'd like to because I look at how stuff is tagged and the summary and go "is it worth the disappointment" when there's probably good writing being done out there and I'm not giving it a chance b/c I'm fucking bitter. Like it's entirely possible that just like XC1 and XC2 didn't really have a ton of overlap in the fandom, XC2 and XC3 don't also and the things I'm really put off by the hardest are not even a thing in the fandom zeitgeist anymore.

But like man. IDK. The things I want to do with this story and the things people are doing with this story are just... really divergent. This has always been a franchise where I like the worldbuilding more than I like the characters, and then I will have like the one or two characters that I absolutely 100% am completely bananas about and they never get written in ways that I would enjoy reading.

[rafaelblackbird15]

Teen Wolf Fic Recs Part 4: Sterek

These are Sterek, Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale fanfictions.

I really love these. They are some of my favourite Sterek stories, and ALL of these are absolutely beautiful. Without a doubt. Send the authors some love, because that's what they've given me and us right here. :)

If there is a problem with any of the links, let me know and I will fix them.

For appropriate reading check the hashtags on the actual fics.

I hope you enjoy these as much as I did.

And check out my other Steter fic recs [Part 1] and [Part 2] and Sterek fic recs [Part 3]

***********

God Brings The Wounded by CallieB on Archive of Our Own

Words: 4938

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

“Jesus,” Stiles says, when he sees Derek for the first time, and feels his face do that thing where it tries to smile. Derek, or the weirdly fresh-faced teenage version of Derek that he is now, doesn’t flinch at Stiles’ exclamation.

He’s too busy flinching at everything else.

 

Requested by the lovely nohomohomie, who asked for something angsty post-nogitsune.

Has got to be one of my favourite canon teenage/de-aged Derek fics, with beautiful, angsty Sterek, of course.

************

You're Not You by CallieB on Archive of Our Own

Words: 5266

Chapters: 1/1

Part 9 of the Sterek Bingo 2017 series

Summary:

Stiles lifts his head slowly, meeting Derek’s gaze. His eyes… they’re always clever, bright, perceptive, but today there’s something in them that Derek doesn’t recognise. He’s pale, but not defeated. He looks stronger than Derek expected. And unexpectedly, he feels it flash through him in a bolt of absolute, though surprised, certainty.

That's not Stiles.

 

Written for the Dark!Stiles square on my Sterek Bingo card.

This story is possibly one of the best EVER Void!Stiles stories I have ever read. The idea is complex and fascinating and unique. After I read this for the first time I was left stunned and I kept coming back to it in my mind as well as to read because I couldn't get over the idea. It's beautiful.

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Yeah, Pass The Salt, Stiles by CallieB on Archive of Our Own

Words: 3609

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

Yeah, pass the salt, Stiles.

They're not particularly inspiring words. Not like the long stream of goo spilling over Scotty's arm. But somewhere, Stiles' soulmate is out there, waiting to say them to him.

If only he could stop thinking about the mysterious hot stranger he met in the woods...

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Author: CallieB

This author has 15 Teen Wolf works, most if not all are Sterek. Some of them in particular really hit somewhere special.

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Behind Locked Doors by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) on Archive of Our Own

Words: 11128

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

Derek often showed up in his room—at least he used the fucking door now that he knew where the spare key was hidden—and he couldn’t escape people in general in the Jeep since they could see him through the window. His dad was home, and when he wasn’t, there was always the risk of other people showing up.

His bathroom, on the other hand? No, his bathroom was a small room with no window in the middle of the house with a lockable door and no judgement. He could sit in the bathroom for hours, and no one would question it. Was he watching porn on his phone and jerking off? Was he taking a massive dump? Did he have constipation? Was he stitching up the millionth injury of the month in private? Who knew? No one but Stiles!

The locked door at his back felt like a safety net for him sometimes. In the bathroom, he didn’t have to pretend. He didn’t have to smile and wave people’s words off, insist he was fine, laugh and act like everything was okay. In the bathroom, he was allowed to sit on the floor, his expression tight, and his body falling apart on him.

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Author: isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

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Should Have Looked on Craigslist by Akiruchan on Archive of Our Own

Words: 27217

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

Derek is rash and self-sacrificing, everything that will one day get him killed. Stiles doesn't want that. He's become too accustomed to a life with Derek Hale in it. To live without, well, it just doesn't seem to be an option.

or...

The five times Stiles' expectations fall short, and the one time he's glad they do.

This is an incredible, slow burn, build of the winding relationship between Stiles and Derek and the world they now live in, side by side. It's wonderful and blessedly long.

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Bless You by Ankiruchan on Archive of Our Own

Words: 3070

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

It all started with a sneeze...

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Lend Me Your Eyes, Give Me Your Heart by Ankiruchan on Archive of Our Own

Words: 3057

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

Stiles’ life sucks. He’s honest enough with himself to admit to at least that. More often than not he spends his free time running for his life, saving people from creatures who want to rip his face off, and all around having a distinct lack of self-preservation. It sort of comes with the territory. Not something he can avoid when his circle of friends happen to be werewolves.

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Nobody's Fault But Mine by Akiruchan on Archive of Our Own

Words: 26552

Chapters: 4/?

Summary:

Stiles has always been good at ignoring his problems. Preferring to wait them out until they are nothing but a distant memory. But when a midnight stroll leads to a nasty scratch to Stiles side, courtesy of Derek, Stiles finds that some things just can't be ignored, not that he doesn't try. Better hearing and improved eyesight, that is something he can ignore for now. The sudden urge to touch and smell Derek all the time? Not so much.

This is werewolf!Stiles, and it's one the of the laid back, kind, intense versions that I enjoy very much. Unfortunately, I think it's been discontinued, but I believe even so, these 4 chapters are worth the little heartbreak that comes with the knowledge it may not be finished.

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Author: Akiruchan

This author is responsible for some of the best slow build Sterek stories I've read.

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Lock All The Doors Behind You by entanglednow on Archive of Our Own

Words: 25960

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

He has no idea what you're supposed to say when you find one of your...werewolf acquaintances, completely out of their mind, growling like they're about to see what your insides taste like. There's no handbook for this. Stiles is thinking that if he survives he might write one.

I've come back to this so many times. The relationship is so vulnerable, down to earth and open and kind, extremely kind, which is something Derek really lacks in his life, someone to be kind to him. There's a feeling, somehow, that this is quite natural for them.

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In Case Of Emergency by entanglednow on Archive of Our Own

Words: 1826

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

Derek falls through Stiles's bedroom window at ten past midnight.

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By Any Other Name by entanglednow on Archive of Our Own

Words: 33090

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

He doesn't know his name, he doesn't know who he is, and neither does the werewolf he's on the run with. But he's pretty sure they hunt monsters, because they seem to be really good at it.

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I Could Find My Way Back by entanglednow on Archive of Our Own

Words: 6250

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

What's the worst that could happen?

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Author: entanglednow

This author is responsible for so many amazing fics out there. They have 55 Teen Wolf fics, all with really interesting ideas and takes on the characters and supernatural world.

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You want forgiveness (I'll give that to you) by dearericbittle (dutchmoxie) on Archive of Our Own

Words: 2806

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

Derek is running from the Alpha, suffering from wolfsbane poisoning and he’s clearly losing it. Why else would he be seeing his mother - and everyone else he might as well have killed himself. But Stiles can’t just let him get what he deserves. Stiles never leaves him behind, even when he should.

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(Fuck you they said) As they threw their threads from their wedding bed by dearericbittle (dutchmoxie) on Archive of Our Own

Words: 96199

Chapters: 9/9

Summary:

First Son Stiles Stilinski just accidentally caused an international incident. And apparently the only way to save human-werewolf relations is to marry him off to Prince Derek of Triskele. Stiles is going to need all of his acting skills to make the marriage look real, because the Prince is kind of a fucking asshole.

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Author: dearericbittle (dutchmoxie)

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fake empire by Poe on Archive of Our Own

Words: 3685

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

Stiles hadn’t meant for any of this to happen. He was going to tell Derek. The whole truth of it. He was halfway through when the phone rang. A half-finished sentence, left hanging in the air as his life crumbled around him.

*

(or: Stiles gets so, so lost. But he finds himself again.)

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you all over me by Poe on Archive of Our Own

Words: 3705

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

The thing about Stiles is, Derek thinks, is that he has no idea how enthralling he truly is. He’s easy to overlook, right up until the point he isn’t, and at some stage, Derek started looking, and now, it’s all he can do.

(or: the one where the pack is happy, healthy and alive, and Stiles and Derek are sort of inevitable)

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Author: Poe

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For If Dreams Die by veritas_st on Archive of Our Own

Words: 24169

Chapters: 8/8

Summary:

“I had a dream about a boy last night,” Mischief says through a mouthful of pancakes. His dad points the spatula at him and he swallows before he says anything else. “His name was Derek. He called me Stiles. I want to be called that from now on.”

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Author: veritas_st

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About Today by rufflefeather on Archive of Our Own

Words: 8901

Chapters: 1/1

Part 1 of the inside these arms series

Summary:

Stiles is having the worst day of his life and it keeps happening.

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Until Tomorrow by rufflefeather on Archive of Our Own

Words: 9016

Chapters: 1/1

Part 2 of the inside these arms series

Summary:

Derek's worst nightmares didn't prepare him for this.

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Let it be me by rufflefeather on Archive of Our Own

Words: 1495

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

After everything that happened, Stiles goes to see Derek.

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Even the stars they burn by rufflefeather on Archive of Our Own

Words: 5770

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

Derek finds out quite by accident what makes Stiles shut up. If he reveals along the way that he didn't always carry this darkness around, then that's entirely Stiles' fault.

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Solstice. by rufflefeather on Archive of Our Own

Words: 4119

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

It's the first total lunar eclipse during winter solstice in three hundred and fifty years and Derek has no idea what's going to happen.

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Author: rufflefeather

This author has some intense, sometimes heartbreakingly endearing, and wonderful Teen Wolf fics.

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Hear The Wheels As They Roll by crossroadswrite on Archive of Our Own

Words: 44919

Chapters: 2/2

Summary:

“You can’t be here. This is private property,” someone calls out and for some reason that voice sounds painfully familiar.

When it hits him why, Stiles almost chokes with the realization, “Derek Hale,” he says, unbelievably happy because he remembers Derek when they were young.

Derek looks grumpier, sadder, angrier. Stiles can’t really fault him for that. He also looks surprised that Stiles knows who he is. He squint/glares suspiciously at him, his nostrils flare for a second before he widens his eyes almost dramatically.

“Stiles,” he says quietly, like he can’t really believe it.

Stiles beams, “Yeah, you remember me!”

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Author: crossroadswrite

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[sauntervaguelydown]

alright i gotta ask.. tell me about Strangers in a Strange Land? :Dc

ahhh I See You

So the original drabble the longer this is based on was very specifically inspired by listening to Panic! at the Disco. "LA Devotee" even more specifically. I was imagining the way that the performative fakeness of greater LA culture would mesh well with Hisoka's desire to both be Seen and Perceived but also retain his distance and privacy. Also. the painting nails thing. Originally I just wanted him to be painting his nails because it's such an elegant and femme thing to do, but then as I was writing the "underground fighting ring" section I realized (based on my own experience of kickboxing with acrylic nails) that this was not a practical thing to do, and then I realized they should be press-ons, and then I blew my own mind with how bizarre and low key funny it is to put on fake nails and then paint them WHILE they're on you, like, who DOES that

"Moon Men" is my favorite motif of all time and I'm just!!! Ahh!!! When I hit on how to combine the alien and the angelic imagery I just about got up and did a lap around the house. The comic books about Moon Men are an idea I lifted from--get this--Beverly Hillbillies. The son reads a comic about Moon People and wants to get hitched to one'a them Moon Maidens. I thought it would be fun if out on Whale Island they're only getting old books, decades behind the rest of the world, because there's no consistent bookstore on the Island. It's just whatever the sailors and travelers bring along. Once when my dad was a teenager a Deadhead traveled through his town selling off his records for gas money and my dad bought a bunch of like, Uriah Heep off him, stuff you'd never have gotten in the South in the 70's. Anyway I think that's basically how Gon gets his pop culture.

The idea of "mugging the monster" gives me infinite joy so I just... did that trope literally. This fic is closely related to Peace on Earth in the sense that it's about shared companionship through strangeness--about how Hisoka and Gon feel like they don't belong to this world. But while Hisoka holds it at arms-length , Gon throws himself into the strangeness and experiences everything as if it's new and wonderful. Hisoka is at a greater disadvantage in this real-ish world because his longings are the same, but without nen, there's no real way for him to get what he's craving. He wants to play chess and street fight and do algebra all at the same time and we just don't have a place for that, so he has to do them all separately. He was probably in jail for killing his mentor by the way. It was judged self defense and he got a two year sentence. After that he couldn't find legit work so he did porn for a while before getting into illegal ring fighting. People do occasionally recognize him from the porn work in public, and you can always tell because they go VERY red. Gon asks a lot of problematic questions about this phenomenon. Thank god they're leaving for south america in a week.

I spent a lot of time thinking about how to GET everyone to LA in this au. For Killua I just lifted the athelete family thing from Thanksgiving and gave it a hollywood spin. Kurapika was the hardest. I eventually decided that his "clan" was a commune of low key cultists, who had some very valuable jewels they were using for religious reasons, and the Spider crew swept in and killed them all to get the loot. They weren't necessarily all wonderful people, and while they were alive Kurapika was a troublesome youth with too many uncomfortable questions, but now that they're gone, well--those were his family. Kurapika is technically an American citizen but he was out east for Quest Reasons before everyone met up on the flight to LA.

I have to admit, I cheated a little bit by engaging this "Indiana Jones vision of Peru" at the end, since that's not technically mundane. But I'd already spent a while talking about Gon's missing dad, and that he was an archaeologist, and the tomb Ging talks about at the end of the anime was still floating around in my head and well... anyways.

I think when they show up in Peru, there's a whole conspiracy of looters and corrupt government officials and it turns into a story about trying to help the locals push out the greedy corporate interests while dodging their own warrants and also people who keep trying to kill them, and at the end of the whole arc you find Ging napping in a jail cell, where he's been held for like 5 years and been doing penpal correspondences with local academics about the stuff he found in the ruins before he was arrested.

I don't want to write that but ^^; I would certainly read it. Or watch it. It would be fun to watch the team getting to know each other and Hisoka coming out of his shell with them a little bit. Knuckle&Shoot are definitely here. Maybe some new characters. Maybe the mustache proctor guy? He's an archaeologist. He might be interested.

Also. Mosquitos. There will be mosquitos. Hisoka HATES this. Gon never gets bit somehow.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Happy new year everyone 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

I know 2020 has been hard for everyone.

And I want everyone to know, suffering isn't a contest and we all suffer in different ways. But I feel I should give my year in Review. Just some things that happened to me personally.

This was an intense, and long and spiritual and emotional journey for me...

I really discovered what it meant to have community, family and what my life means to me.

But I feel I need to get this in writing cause I can remember the year with vivid detail and I will probably forget if I don't get it down.

Do I have to share this publically online to my tumblr account for a bunch of strangers to see? not really.

Do I want to?

Yes. I think so. Just from how so many people on tumblr and real life have touched me.

This is kinda long and no one needs to read this.

(idk how to do a readmore on mobile. But this is where I would add it later. No one needs to read if they don't want to.)

January/February: (and some background on the last five years of my life cause.....well. it's important.)

As people knew, I got way into Invader Zim last summer. I spent most of my waking life working a dead end job at a grocery store. I lived a sad lonely life, going straight home to a single dark studio apartment. With not many material possessions outside of games, my laptop and my tablet to my name. Half of my material loves, such as home furnishings and books were still in boxes from when I moved in. In case I ever had to move again, or get some "big screenshot or copywriter" job in the city.

....

I lived in that city in the same dead end job and apartment for five years.

No friends. No social life. I often refused to make doctor appointments or attempt to establish myself in that city. I didn't even talk to anyone in my workplace.

Work. Go online. Go to sleep.

I lived like that for five years.

I thought it was good.

Even my therapist thought I was doing well.

When I really wasn't. My main character flaw I struggle with is motivation.

I can talk to someone about very detailed plans I have to fix a problem... But I tend to never follow through.

Just because I can describe in detail how to fix my personal problems, it doesn't mean I will do it.

(I have gotten better at this but it's a major struggle)

I might have been a Zombie during the day...

But by night I was pouring my soul into my AU and my analysis.

After being so thoughly ignored or overlooked by the Naruto fandom and the Undertale fandom, I felt like I had finally found my home and was settling into a community there.

I just loved that people loved what I had to say.

Especially my AU.

It's no secret that a lot of themes in my au revolve around found family, grief, and loss.......

Fatherhood, in particular.

What it means to be a father, how much do you need to try when you mess up, how willing should a child forgive their parent, especially those that have wronged you and how much of it is factually accurate and simply a self projection of what children want their parents to be and visa versa... What amount of forgiveness and change is nessasary...is it needed?

....

It's no secret that a lot of my AU is a giant coping mechanism for my Dad's death. Espessially the falling out and growing closer with a lot of my family members throughout the years following his death. (Most of the time I keep it ambiguous to how it relates to my personal life unless I include a readmore that states so outright. I feel my au can be enjoyed by a variety of people in the fandom who don't need to know me as a person or my life story.)

My Dad passed away in 2016 in February and my family still feels the aftershocks to this day.

It's part of the reason I moved to the city, alienated myself from my family and people that loved me and refused to experience life for five years.

My entire world was Zim, and I was okay.

March: When America finally realized and started to feel the effects of the pandemic....

A lot of people got scared.

Me included.

I didn't have any streaming services or access to the news. So I only heard accounts from my mom.

I didn't understand why the store was so dead quiet and empty for a few days, then it went into mass chaos and panic in the span of two days.

It felt like Retail black friday in the worst way. Everyone was packed like sardines. Everyone was yelling. The lines at the registers bled into the clothing department.

I was witness to customers shoving others for toilet paper, being rude to cashier's and just overall unpleasantness.

At the time, I didn't even fully grasp what the pandemic was, and I feel a lot of people at the time didn't either.

I ended up absentmindedly scratching my eyebrow in front of a customer and she screamed and villanised me for it. That they didn't want groceries touched by my "unclean hands"

I ended up breaking down into tears.

The customer behind me gave me a hug and told me I was doing a great job.

But the damage was done. It was the final straw, I couldn't stop crying and I was breaking apart.

Thankfully my Boss (the one who likes me) pulled me aside and asked what's wrong.

It was then that I quit. No notice. Same day. I had to get out of there.

I was planning to move to an apartment with my sister in the summer, but my Mom offered for me to move back in with her temperarily just so I can get out of the city and away from the pandemic.

So I did.

I got scared, broke my lease a month early and quit my job of five years that gave me nothing back.

He told me, "take care of yourself and your family, I won't keep you here, do what you need to do."

So I did.

April-June:

A very eventful few months.

My mom offered for me to live at her place, but for some reason she was acting like I would live there forever. That this wasn't a temporary arrangement, and that I didn't have an apartment set up already.

This was in large part to my sister, who had lived with my mom taking advantage of her for years.

Even though my sister and I were going to move in together, I was just never sure about it cause of how she never packed her stuff or made any effort to find a job.

My mom often acted like I was lazy and not searching and was treating me like... Well, an unruly teenager instead of a woman of 29 years. She acted like I was a failure for returning home when it was her idea in the first place.

I would have just been petrified in the city.

Like usual, I retreated to my au again.... And in the spring, something eventful happened.

In may, 8th 2020:

I was invited by @rissynicole to join an invader zim discord.

Now, I've never really used discord before. I always thought it's interface is too confusing.. and I'm a member of a few other iz discords and I usually don't follow them that closely.

Rissy assured me it was different cause some friends of thiers made it and it was smaller.

Before I knew it, I was sharing memes and getting to know everyone there.

It wasn't long after I invited my partner in IZ crimes, @paketdimensioncomic who was genuinely wary of iz servers due to a bad experience with the last one they were a part of.

But soon they were sharing memes and laughing with everyone else.

My eyes were starting to open and I was able to connect to fans of my work in an interpersonal way. And I was able to discover new artists and aus I never knew about.

I was also able to meet so many others of the community and invite them to the server myself.

The moo-ping 10 server kept me sane while I was living with my judgmental mother.

Not only that, the summer was very productive for my au.

Drawing was all I did, and it was a huge break from the job as a cashier I had.

Not only that, June came, and with it, me and Ceph's first collab fic:

A result of us just going back and forth in our DMs constantly about Professor Membrane and how he changed in ETF for the better and how much we adamantly stan "trying-to-be-a-good-dad-brane" and how much of his ETF development has to be implied off screen in order for the emotional resolution in the movie to matter.

The only reason I never professed my love for Membrane as a character in the fandom before the fic dropped was.... Well....

Membrane can be a decisive character in the fandom and I was so worried people would hate me if I did an analysis on him, simply because he's not the best parent in the world. (As an understatement)

Ceph and I really encouraged each other to scream our love for the science himbo loud and proud more frequently and so often.... I actually start to see less Membrane hate posts and breakdowns then their used to be.... I like to think it's a combination of Me and Ceph's influence, along with ETF and the Quarterly's painting Membrane in a slightly more nuanced light then he was previously.

I never wrote a collab fic before and it's such a rewarding and fun and unique experience that I don't think I'll ever have again. And I love working with Ceph on our fics so much.

So much so we did it again...

July-August:

I never thought I would be one of those people who writes NSFW IZ fic... But here I am.

The Brainbrane au started.... An au of my au where Membrane and the Computer fall in love and Membrane makes him a body.

This ship was based around the idea where we joked that Membrane and Zim's Computer would have funny interactions if they ever met, under the pretense Membrane thinks Computer is Zim's parent.

Our headcanons morphed and shifted until we just full blown started shipping them.

Just because Membrane and Zim's Computer have overall REALLY entertaining chemistry.

It's a character dynamic never seen in the show or comics (yet) and I imagine thier interactions to be nothing but entertaining banter.

The fic was also born from spite... Making fun of the troupes and cliches that we found personally destestible in some questionable zadr fics.

So an angry ace and a demi-bisexual collab on a porn and end up blessing the fandom with

Compapa headcanons,

Computer being recognized as a more common used fanon character,

The ship of Brainbrane.

The fandom having a crisis of "oh God, not only are we xenophiles we're technophiles too!!!" Or "why you gotta give Zim's Computer an ass"

More android Computer designs

It was an eventful summer.

In the midst of all this, I moved into my new place, got a new job, and I was able to see my friend (who is def my platonic straight soul mate) who lives in Indiana.

She came to visit, showed me how to decorate and how to take care of my body better! Things were looking up! It was great.

September-November:

My job was at a boat store. If was approaching the fall and my hours were being severely cut.

I was getting into a rut of depression again.

I thought things were changing but the same routine I was trying to escape from was the same thing coming back.

But instead of letting it take hold, I decided I was going to do something about it... I was gonna visit a museum and go with my sister. Just... variety stimulation.

Well that didn't happen.

I talked about this shortly in my au itself...but..

My sister had a complete mental breakdown.

She stopped taking her meds, went off the deep end and was in the hospital a total of five times throughout November.

A lot of it was acting out and the perfect storm of environmental factors that made her scream and act out so she would keep going back to the hospital.

It was traumatizing for me.

I just can't explain what it's like. For her and for me to be in that position.

I'm not telling the full story and a lot of bullshit things happened I won't share here.

She got diagnosed with bipolar one and my mom expected me to be a caretaker for her.

I threatened to disown my family and move away out of state.

It was just too much for me to handle.

So much I was a nervous wreck.

I tried to pick up a second job... Cause my sister was in the mental ward so frequently and couldn't pay the bills.

But I was fired within a week cause I was so stressed I couldn't retain the basic information they were training me for.

It was an office job.

My dream.

It could have been.

I was fired from something I really wanted.

I was only there for three days.

I could not retain any information.

I was a mess.

My sister was a trigger, my mom wanted me to live with her. I couldn't live like this.... I had to get out.

I had to get out.

December:

Remember my Indiana friend?

Well the first week of December is my birthday.

My 30th to be exact.

While I did pick up a seasonal position at Target (not my first pick)

I took the first week of December off so I could spend time with her. Cause she agreed, I needed a break from this crap.

Surviving 30 years is cause to celebrate and if I had to celebrate with my sister I would have cried.

I know there was a risk traveling out of state during a pandemic...

But I needed out, I needed a friend..

And I kinda wanted to look at the place since I was considering moving there.

My friend's mom was sick so she avoided me and her daughter and got us a hotel room.

It was fun! I got to swim in a salt water pool, we talked about Naruto, I showed her the iz and su art books I brought, also Computer and Membrane tea.

I also got to meet her other friends and get crunk. And her bf who is super nice and funny!

I had a super fun birthday....

Until her mom told my friend that her grandparents had covid and that was what she had. And my friend got sick within that same day.... As did I.

I owe so much to her family.

I was an entire state away...about a ten hour drive from home.... She let me stay at her house. "The covid house" we called it.

Cause everyone (except the father. He avoided everyone and booked a hotel immediately cus he was an ER doctor) had covid within a day.

I called in, the test results were positive and I had to stay with her family for ten days quarantine before I could work again.

Which would have been fine....

If my tumblr didn't log me out perminately of my old account. @dana-chan325 .... Which really sucked cause I had a constant headache and was too sick to engage with tumblr or much of the fandom. I didn't want to make a new account when my head was in a bad fog and I could barely breathe or smell.

It's not like I saw much of my friend either.... We all slept at different hours and she had more symptoms then I did.

It was just netflix, danganronpa v3 and cry.

I was miserable, but at the same time.... Not?

I really feel like God himself was the one who pulled me off from tumblr, and my living situation.

Maybe a whole extra week feeling like a bobblehead was what I needed.

It gave me some much needed clarity on my relationships with my mom and sis and friend.

Running away to Indiana was not the solution here.

Once I was better within ten days and no longer had a leave of absence, I drove home.

I am glad I fully recovered (but from how I understand it, my dear friend is still ill. I'm praying for her)

I might have gone to work a bit too soon, cause I had an asthma attack after trying to unload a single cart in the span of six hours.

My boss lectured that my speed was unacceptable, and even though I explained the covid situation and breathing problems many times, she threatened that I'd be fired if I'm that slow again.

Que the next few days of work where they put me on register.

Instantly I was sent into a panic remembering the last time I was on the register and how that panic attack caused me to quit.

I even asked if I could go back to stocking, since my breathing had improved. My boss assured me that I was put on the register cause they needed help and nothing to do with my covid thing.

Then as December concluded and the new year began, my boss said that this was the last shift for me cause my position was seasonal and they were letting a lot of people go.

I then asked why I was on the schedule for Sunday, and he told me to ignore it and I'm free to reapply for full-time.

I mean.... They can act smart about it...

But putting your general merchandise stocker onto register after she had an asthma attack and missed working the first two weeks of December due to covid.....

Not a good look.

So once again, I'm jobless once more.

Will probably continue to live with my sister for awhile.

But I do not feel as if it's a bad thing....

I met so many good people this year....

My friend's family even gave me 500 usd to cover my rent since I couldn't work for a majority of December.

I've seen evil and good from humanity this year. I've seen acts of god, good friends and what my real family means to me as well as friends I consider family.

This year really made me look back at the person in the mirror and say,

"I deserve better."

And actually worked for it this time.

Oh and after Christmas I got a horrible yeast infection that burns over most of my body currently.

Very accurate doodle to the pain I'm in right now.

(seriously my body is a fungus.)

But hey, good news, I respected myself enough to go to the doctor about it!!

So that's progress.

I really hope 2021 holds good things for me.

Thank you to the mooping 10 server for always being there and keeping me sane,

Thank you tumblr for liking my au and everything.

AND A SUPER SPECIAL THANK YOU TO @evartandadam and her family for housing me and my dumb diseased ass. Everyone, she is an angel and I can't express how much she means to me. Please check out her art and buy her stuff on redbubble.

Anyways... Byebye 2020.

I look forward to what I can accomplish for myself this year.

[tsrookie]

Alright, so today’s the three-year anniversary of Reputation a.k.a the greatest album of all time, my baby, the light of my life, the album that deserved a Grammy (trying desperately not to think about the scene from Miss Americana😭), the album that introduced us to the most beautiful couple ever, the album that shut Kimye up, and I better stop now, or else I’m not gonna shut up.

So in honour of this momentous occasion (and the fact that I reached 200+ followers! Thank you so much you guys!🥺 Love you all 3000💙), here’s a loooooong post on why Reputation is the Ethan and MC album.

1. ...Ready For It?

No one has to know

Throwback to MC saying the exact same words back in Miami.

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

You should see the things we do, baby, mmm

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

I know I'm gonna be with you

So I take my time

Remember back when MC asked for Ethan to get into bed right away during their first time? Ethan told them that he had dreamt about the moment for months, so he wasn’t going to rush it.

2. End Game

Big reputation, big reputation

Ooh you and me would be a big conversation

These two dating would be the talk of the hospital, and they know it.

Even when we'd argue, we don't do it for long

And you understand the good and bad, end up in the song

For all your beautiful traits, and the way you do it with ease

For all my flaws, paranoia, and insecurities

Think these lines are pretty self-explanatory😌

I hit you like bang

We tried to forget it, but we just couldn't

*gets war flashbacks of the ‘reset’ phase*😭 They tried to make it work, but we all know how Ch 8 of book 2 went😌

I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me

Perfect for our chaotic MC😌

3. Don’t Blame Me

Do I... really have to explain this one?

For you, I would cross the line

I would waste my time

I would lose my mind

They say she's gone too far this time

Do we need a recap of our rule-breaking MC?

And baby, for you, I would fall from grace

Just to touch your face

If you walk away

I'd beg you on my knees to stay

He was willing to risk his (mostly) rule-abiding reputation for being with MC. And there’s no way he wouldn’t beg for MC not to leave him if he ever screwed up🤷‍♀️

4. Delicate

This ain't for the best

My reputation's never been worse, so

You must like me for me

Ethan stood by MC’s side throughout the Ethics hearing, when her reputation was completely smeared, and people only saw her as a patient murderer. He didn’t know about the sabotages, but he would’ve definitely supported her if he had known.

We can't make

Any promises now, can we, babe?

Commitment-phobia🙃

Sometimes I wonder when you sleep

Are you ever dreaming of me?

Sometimes when I look into your eyes

I pretend you're mine, all the damn time

They spent so much of time apart, not able to be with each other, so the least they could do was dream of being with each other all the time.

5. So It Goes (an underrated af bop)

What can I say... it’s a sex song, okay? Don’t make me go into the details😂 Just listen to the lyrics, and all will be clear.

6. Gorgeous (Tumblr won’t let me put any more links)

MC’s eternal anthem to Ethan.

Whisky on ice, Sunset and Vine

You've ruined my life, by not being mine

We all know Ethan loves Whiskey, and the second line? C’mon!

You're so gorgeous

I can't say anything to your face

'Cause look at your face

And I'm so furious

At you for making me feel this way

But, what can I say?

You're gorgeous

Ethan Ramsey is famous for two reasons. One: his smart brain, I guess😒 Two: HIS LOOKS!!! HE’S GORGEOUS, AND DON’T DENY IT.

And you should think about the consequence

Of you touching my hand in the darkened room (dark room, dark room)

Ah, the olden days of hand holding in the diagnostics office🥺

Ocean blue eyes looking in mine

I feel like I might sink and drown and die

No explanation required.

You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah

There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have

You are so gorgeous it makes me so mad

The wonderful will-they-won’t-they saga. The frustrating hot-and-cold behaviour. The ‘We can’t’, ‘It’s unethical’ and ‘It’s complicated’. MC deserves an award for her patience😓

7. King Of My Heart

I'm perfectly fine, I live on my own

I made up on my mind, I'm better off bein' alone

Ethan ‘I don’t believe in soulmates and nobody’s waiting at home’ Ramsey.

And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for

King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa

And all at once, you are all I want, I'll never let you go

King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa

This could be from both Ethan and MC’s perspectives. The love they share isn’t something that you get easily. It’s something that MC has waited for her whole life, and something Ethan never knew he needed, but now can’t live without🥺

Late in the night, the city's asleep

Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep

Change my priorities

The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury

This was definitely Ethan throughout book 2, after he finally gave in. He let go of his previous rules and regulations, especially during the time of the attack. He was clearly affected, and once MC was alright, his main priority was her, and her alone.

Is the end of all the endings?

My broken bones are mending

With all these nights we're spending

Ethan’s been burnt a lot in the past. But all those wounds are now healing thanks to MC.

Up on the roof with a school girl crush

Drinking beer out of plastic cups

They act like lovesick teenagers around each other, like, that’s literally their description if you choose to kiss Ethan for the first time in Chapter 14 of book 2!😅

Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff

Baby, all at once, this is enough

We all know about his initial fear of his mother reaching out to him for the sake of his money. To him, MC not talking advantage of him is a pretty big deal, even though it’s never mentioned. You just know, you know?🥺

8. Dancing With Our Hands Tied

My, my love had been frozen

Deep blue, but you painted me golden

Again, Ethan doesn’t have the best experience with love. But MC changed that.

I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted

This could go both ways, cause they’re both piping hot messes😬 (but love each other anyway🥺)

The rest of this song could have made so much more sense for them if we had gotten some sort of a secret relationship storyline. But oh well, I’m definitely not complaining about the gala😌 (and definitely not believing any of the supposed cancelled storylines)

9. Dress

Our secret moments

In a crowded room

They got no idea

About me and you

I mean... pretty obvious😌

Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me

And I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My one and only, my lifeline

This is practically Ethan’s train of thought, and you can’t convince me otherwise.

As for the rest of the steamier lyrics... I’ll um... let you guys listen to it yourselves😁

10. Call It What You Want

I wrote an entire fic inspired by this song, so excuse me for the shameless self-promo, but go give it a read?🥺👉👈(totally fine if you don’t! I’ve probably made so many posts about this song that y’all know the meaning anyway😅)

11. New Years Day

Don't read the last page

But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you're turning away

I want your midnights

But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

MC has always stayed by Ethan’s side, even when he’s pushed her away. These lines perfectly explain how she wants his worst times, and his best, the midnights they spend staying up together, and the moments where it’s just the two of them, when everyone else has left, like the aftermath of a New Years party (still mad at the fact that we didn’t get to see the gang celebrate New Year together😭)

I'll be there if you're the toast of the town babe

Or if you strike out and you're crawling home

The above explanation for these lines as well.

Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

Becoming strangers to each other would be their worst nightmares. Knowing that the other was out there in the world somewhere, but not being in their lives would kill them.

You and me forevermore

These two are each other’s soulmate, they know it, even if they haven’t said it yet. Forever wouldn’t be enough for them to shower each other with they love they hold for each other. But it’s a good start.

——————————

If you guys made it this far, then I honestly love you more than words can ever express🥺💙 Thanks for putting up with my Swiftie-Directioner-Ethan stan ass, cause I dunno if I’d ever be able to handle someone like myself. And if you read all the above stuff, then I hope you wanna know why this album means so much to me.

Reputation is perceived as a dark album, when in reality it’s truly about finding love amongst all the noise. This album, and Taylor and Joe’s story, taught me what true love actually is, and Ethan and MC cemented that. This album and these two couples (quite literally) saved my life.

The most beautiful part about both these relationships is that even though they never showed it openly, for the sake of their relationships, both Ethan(in the story) and Joe stood by the side of the one’s they loved, despite half of the people who they knew hating on them, or betraying them. And I think that’s what’s truly important. Forming a true relationship like that, be it platonic or romantic, is long lasting, and I hope everyone finds those kind of people to fill their hearts with. Sending much love, and sorry for being a huge sap😅💙

Tagging a couple of my Swiftie homies: @swiftlydarcy @nikki-2406 @dxnicaramsey @kaavyaethanramsey @caseyvalentineramsey @drariellevalentine @justanotherrookie

[spicycreativity]

Fanfic Appreciation Week Day 7: A Place Where I Can Breathe

Yes, folks, I'm appreciating my own darn fanfic for the final day of Fanfic Appreciation Week because I worked really hard on it and it was a labor of love for/with one of my QPPs, my roommate, the man who got me into Sanders Sides: @\cadeorade-powercade (That's him in the aesthetic board)

Allow me to present the director's commentary for A Place Where I Can Breathe:

Content Warnings: All content warnings mentioned in the fic apply.

Chapter 1: I actually wrote this fairly late in the game. It's meant to serve as a prologue and orient the viewer in the universe, s opposed to staring on Chapter 2, which just throws the viewer in without context. I think it was a good choice, as it also allowed me to introduce the concept of the Sides having power focuses early on.

The Premise: Cade is a Virgil stan and he was getting frustrated looking for Virgil fic. He was finding a lot of stuff written without nuance by young authors, a sort of "by teenagers for teenagers" type deal. We are not teenagers, so we both have a hard time relating to that kind of teen angst fic, as we're not the target audience. So he asked me to write him a Virgil fic and we worked together to identify what plot he wanted, what the Mindscape looked like, and what quirks the Sides have. So a lot of this fic is quite gratuitous and self-indulgent

The Title: Lizzie McAlpine has a song called "Apple Pie" which includes the lyric "I've been running around trying to find a place where I can breathe." Apple Pie SCREAMS Moceit to me, and I had taken notice of the lyric and wanted to use it as the title for a Moceit fic. I didn't really have an idea beyond that, and when Cade asked me to write this fic, I realized it was actually perfect and summed up Virgil's inner struggle quite nicely. So cheers to "A Place Where I Can Breathe," the Moceit Fic That Wasn't

-Cade asked me specifically to include Virgil having a spider and I wrote nearly the whole fic without doing so, then had to go back and sprinkle some references in. I think I managed 2 total.

Chapter 2:

"Uh, how about I hold off on that until I actually see my room?" Virgil stared expectantly at Roman, who bounced on his toes. "Lead on, Macduff."

"That's not the line and you know it," Roman complained, but he turned to lead Virgil to his room. "It's ' lay on, Macduff,' and--"

-This fic was originally supposed to reach a climax with a confrontation between Remus and Roman, and "lay on, Macduff" would come back as a brick joke. Unfortunately, the original ending was a result of me getting tired and lazy, so I had to go back and fix it, and we lost the Roman-Remus confrontation.

It was hard for Virgil to not shudder at the sudden heat and weight on him. With his senses already open and taking in more information than his brain seemed to want to process, touch was an added stressor, more unwanted sensory input.

-Virgil being touch-averse is a direct shoutout to Cade, who is also touch-averse.

Roman had already transformed the living room: metallic streamers of purple and black stretched across the corners of the ceiling, and shiny balloons spelling out A-N-X-E-I-T-Y hovered above the TV.

-Upon first writing, Virgil had already given the upstairs crew his name, so the banner spelled out "VIRIGL" which is way funnier than "ANXEITY." But then his name reveal became a plot point so I had to go back and change it.

-Let! Virgil! Be! Mean!

-Virgil's line about hearing refrigerator noise when Roman talks is another shout-out to Cade, who has leveled that accusation at me

A small, cruel part of him protested at the idea that he would need special treatment and desperately wanted to throw it back in Patton's face. He wasn't a sweetheart, he wasn't a baby. He didn't need to crawl into a blanket fort with Dad just because he was a little stressed.

-Remus calls Janus "Janus Geminus" because I was tired and couldn't come up with a pun. "Geminus" is one of the Roman god Janus' epithets; another is "Pater" meaning "Father." That led to a conversation about Remus deliberately confusing Patton by calling Janus "Daddy," but I couldn't think of a clean way to fit the explanation into the narrative, so I stuck with "Geminus."

Chapter 3:

"There's nothing normal about that! " Roman stared in horror at the coffee massacre Virgil had orchestrated. What had once been a respectable (if not very tasty) cup of black coffee was now part of a 1:1 coffee to milk suspension, the liquid a tasteful shade of tan suitable for business casual trousers or a show-ready chihuahua.

-Cade is a certified Nightmare Man and came up with Virgil's horrifying coffee order after I asked him about it. Keep an eye out for Janus' equally horrifying coffee order later in the fic.

1) Shouts out the fact that Janus is canonically a Dostoevsky fan

Chapter 4:

Janus smiled at him. "Where reason fails, the Devil helps." He fussed with his gloves and straightened his capelet. "It's showtime."

-I fucking love Crime and Punishment. Look at me. Look at me. I fucking love Crime and Punishment. Janus' quoting Raskolnikov serves multiple purposes:

2) Lampshades the fact that Roman just conveniently happened to be alone in the living room, because I didn't want to waste time getting him there. That makes me, the author, the Devil

3) Foreshadows the impending disaster. When Raskolnikov says this line it is because he had planned to commit axe murder. The axe he was planning to steal had been moved, but he finds another, different axe to use. Raskolnikov messes up the murder and ends up killing an innocent witness in addition to his intended target. Janus messes up his manipulation attempt and ends up murdering Roman's self esteem

-I was going to include a reference to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (Remus' line "debauchery and vomit" was originally going to be "blood, love, and rhetoric") but I didn't because... Uh... Hm. Why didn't I do that. Maybe I just forgot about it???

-Roman is too stubborn to manipulate for long and that is a fact.

"I was pretty much done anyway," Remus said. "There's only so much debauchery and vomit you can fit into one story."

-Cade specifically ask me that nobody cry in this fic, but after I had Janus eviscerate Roman I knew he couldn't not cry a little. I kept it to a minimum because there's already a billion fucking fics about [literally any Side] crying on the shoulder of [literally any other Side] and it's really just not interesting to either of us.

-It didn't come up because it doesn't matter, but Thomas dreamed he was participating in the exact Dionysian orgy that took place in The Secret History because it's my fic and I said so.

Chapter 5:

He just sat back and watched and tugged at his hair while Janus spooned mound after mound of crisp white sugar into his mug and Virgil poured his customary eight fluid ounces of milk into his own mug.

-Cade strikes again. Virgil's coffee order is equal amounts milk to coffee; Janus' is equal parts sugar to coffee. He had asked me to include a scene where Roman catches Janus massacring his coffee and is appropriately horrified, but I uhh... Didn't write it. I still might include it as an omake someday.

-I imagine that Roman feels really strongly about dragons vs wyverns, and Remus just pretends to give a shit because he thinks it's funny to wind Roman up. Fortunately for me but unfortunately for my sense of realism in writing, I can't relate because I adore my sister and we get along perfectly almost 100% of the time.

"You shut us down every chance you get!" Remus said, baring his teeth. "How would you like it if your pens never wrote, hm? What would you do with all those thoughts in your head?"

-I do wish I had developed the concept of power focuses a bit more, established rules and such. Basically, Patton is always on the prowl for wrongthink and actively represses it, which in turn breaks or sabotages the Dark Sides' power focus.

Chapter 6: This chapter really should have been Janus and Roman but I was really tired and didn't want to bother with it. Plus, you know, Moceit. This chapter was meant to demonstrate how the characters would get along without Virgil nannying them. There's friction, but everyone is making a conscious, deliberate effort to get along because they love Virgil, and love is a series of choices you make.

I chose "Leo" as the answer for the answer to the crossword clue instead of "Virgo," because my other QPP is a Leo. She'll never read this fic, but I did it anyway because I love her. (Trivia: My sign is Virgo, so it was really a choice between shouting her out and shouting me out, and the last chapter is self-indulgent enough, thank you).

Chapter 7: I was gonna write a fic where all the Sides watched Cats the Musical because I was going through a phase. Then Cade requested this so I combined the two ideas. By this point I was fucking exhausted, and that's the only thing that saved you and the rest of the world from me writing the Sides riffing on the movie scene-by-scene. I could come up with snarky commentary for almost every, if not every single song from the movie.

Most notably, I cut a Patton-Remus interaction where Remus declares his love for Grizabella and Patton gets all staryy-eyed about Remus connecting with the idea of rising above rejection and being loved and accepted only for Remus to shoot him down and explain that he just likes that she got to die in a tire fire.

Other cut scenes include Janus quietly pretending not to go feral over Mister Mistoffelees, Patton full-on fucking sobbing over Grizabella and the kittens, and Logan experiencing a deep, soulful kinship with Munkustrap during Of The Awefull Battle of the Pekes and the Pollices (and henceforth introducing the phrase "like herding cats" into his regular vocabulary

[austenpoppy]

When fanfiction begins to be worrying

Warning : Ron-lovers, if you read this it is at your own peril. I am already suffering from long-lasting damage. Vivi, don't read. Really. Don't. Trust me.

We won't even talk about incest and other criminal and sickening fanfictions, which are mostly rejected by the fandom with the utmost disgust - fortunately.

No, no, what I'm going to talk about is admired by a - sadly - large part of the fandom. I was just looking for a cool fanfiction about Ron during my break when I found this, on the first page : "101 ways to kill Ron Weasley."

I know, I shouldn't have clicked on the link, but I couldn't help myself. I had to know.

This is the Author's note :

"This story is inspired by Crys' 1001 Deaths of Lord Voldemort on

For many of us, we hate one character in canon more than any other. No, not Lord Voldemort. I am, of course, talking about Ron Weasley.

Ron is lazy, stupid, annoying, and, in my opinion, mentally retarded.

Now, many in the fanfiction community hate Ginny much more than Ron; however, I find that to be more based upon their experiences with fanfiction than Ginny's actual roll in canon. Let's all be honest, outside of CoS and a cameo in OoTP, Ginny has very few lines and almost no involvement in the plot while Ron plays the role of a giant douchebag throughout the books.

This story, which I hope people will enjoy, is my way of killing off the dumbass in as many colorful ways as possible.

In case you can't tell, expect major Ron!Bashing."

...

I should have stopped as soon as I read this. I didn't, pushed by a morbid curiosity : I wanted to know how far people were ready to go. Useless to say that I bitterly regret it.

First, notice here that Voldemort and Ron are the only characters that I know of who have entire fanfics dedicated to kill them.

Voldemort and Ron are put on the same level. A teenager, the best friend of the hero and a hero himself, is compared to a psychopath and a murderer.

Moreover, I have to underline that the author judges Ron as "mentally retarded". I find it worrying. Just because a teenager have not the same grades as the best student in his year, just because he does not display the same way of thinking as his clever best friend does not mean he is stupid. Far from that.

That is a judgement on intelligence that I think is horrible. You have to know that intelligence, despite what tests such as IQ's claim, can not be really measured. It depends on so many factors. The results of IQ tests depend themselves on so many factors.

Furthermore, having real problems to understand things should be seen as a disability, a handicap and not an insult. It is a very difficult situation to deal with.

Also notice that the intellect is one the major criteria differencing the characters for those people. Intellect is practically above everything else.

I read the fanfiction, constituted of two chapters and multiple drabbles.

First reaction :

First one : Ron dies from eating too much. He chokes on his food.

Second one : In first year, wanting to prove a point to Hermione, Ron willingly mispronunces a spell and conjures a buffalo which crushes him

Third one : In Deathly Hallows, Ron takes the locket with him when he leaves. Harry and Hermione try to stop him and splinch him (he is split in two), but they don't recover the Horcrux. Last sentence : "Even in death, Ron Weasley found a way to be a pain in the ass."

Fourth one : Ron, charged by Harry to give Hedwig her treats, eats them in front of her. Hedwig, with the help of thousands other owls, avenges herself by attacking and killing Ron. Reminding of "The birds" by Hitchcock.

Fifth one : Ron, jealous, accuses Hermione of loving Harry and calls her "a Mudblood". She kills him. Harry and her hide Ron's body before they have sex. Petty remark about the length of Harry and Ron's manhoods. Note of the "author" explaining that it was a summary of another fic.

Sixth one : the Trio enters Bellatrix's vault. Ron is immediately fascinated by the amount of money and begins to steal it despite his friends' warnings. He burts into flames and jinxes his friends. Particularly petty sentence : "He never knew, or cared, that his greed had doomed them as well."

Seventh one : Ron speaks proudly about the unbreakable vow he made when he was five. Hermione asks him what it was about, he says he had sworn he would never say he wasn't a jobbernowl, he dies. Worst thing : use of a real passage of the book.

Eighth one : Ron dies on the chess set. His sacrifice is presented as stupid because it 'had to be another way.'

Nine : Harry uses Sectumsempra on Ron while he is sleeping. Ron dies. Harry transforms his corpse into a sock and burns it.

Last one : after Ron is made prefect, Hermione refuses to have him as a partner, jinxes him and kills him "for the greater good." Particularly nasty sentences : "Harry looked at the badge and fought the urge to go downstairs and ask McGonagall and Dumbledore if they were high when they selected the male Gryffindor prefect this year." / "'Sure', Ron said, completely shocked. 'I was positive you would get it, Harry.' 'You and the rest of the world,' Harry thought darkly." / "I can already see Ron not taking his duties seriously and flaunting the privileges that prefects normally deserve."

I won't comment all of them, but I really want to say something about some of them.

The first one uses a trope overused in Ron-bashing fanfiction : the fact that Ron eats a lot and sometimes speaks with his mouth full. Obviously, the author has forgotten what it is to be a teenager, and especially a thin teenager. Their metabolism needs food, and loads of food, because they are growing up and thin people tend to burn off energy more rapidly.

The fourth makes me sick. (Not that they don't all make me want to throw up.) First since it uses the overused trope I have already mentioned. Moreover for Ron would definitely do what Harry asks him to do, and for Ron is definitely not cruel. And thirdly because... THE BIRDS ! Does it ring a bell, a physical assault on Ron with birds ?

The fifth one. There is absolutely no universe where Ron, I'm-going-to-kill-Malefoy-with-my-bare-hands!Ron, would call Hermione a Mudblood. No. Way.

The sixth. Just because Ron said once something like "It would be nice to have galleons for a change", once "I hate being poor" (ONCE !!!), "Lucky you" (referring to Harry not noticing the difference on his amount of gold when the fake money disappeared), "Where's mine ?" (asking Bill where his money was because Bill has just given Harry a purse full of gold), that's it, Ron is greedy. Just because he doesn't want to be in need. Although he never complained that much.

These people hating Ron for he does not like to be poor are just self-righteous and have very probably never lived in the same situation. They have never been homeless, have received all the gifts for Christmas they wanted, have lived in a warm and comfortable house. It's easy to think about morals when your stomach is full, your health is perfect and well taken care of, and your basical material needs are fulfilled.

I remember a story my dance teacher told me : there was a poor woman in Africa who had lost a husband, a son and a leg in a war and still considered herself luckier than a French homeless person because she had a roof above her head.

I'm not saying that losting a loved one is less terrible. Nothing is more terrible.

Just that hating a fourteen-years old boy who never received another Christmas gift than a maroon jumper he hates but still puts on without really complaining because his mother made it, because he would like to have clothes that fit him or galleons he could spend to offer things to his friends is stupid. Really. And shows a lack of empathy.

Moreover, it's not as if Ron was not generous. All he has he shares it. His galleons, he mostly spends it on gifts for his friends. He gave his Christmas gifts to an house-elf. Ron has a really big, big heart and nothing is more important to him than his friends and family.

Eight. Just. How dares he / she ? That's what I hate with this fandom. Everything is twisted to correspond to the views of people.

Last. The prefect badge. My god the prefect badge. Maybe the most disgusting one, because Harry and Hermione are depicted as thinking the worst of him and somehow echo the 'No one in their right mind would make Ron a prefect'. The fact that Ron is often belittled by the fans who don't think he deserved the badge is reminiscent of the fact that Ron didn't either. Ron didn't think he deserved it. That makes me soooo angry.

Pansy Parkinson deserved her badge, but Ron ? Nooooo of course.

The question of worthiness in Ron-bashing is central. People operate a grading : some characters are better than others. The worst is to think that they do it in real life.

I am really naive. I thought that most readers would be inflamed by such display of stupidity. How wrong I was ! This story had 242 reviews, whose only 12 were critical. On the twelve crital ones, 4 were saying that Ron was just an ordinary teenager with no talent, but that it was a shame to dislike him for that.

The rest ?... At this point I don't know if I want to cry or burst into flames out of rage.

I have warned you before. I warn you again. Be aware of the violence of what will follow.

"More!

In order to get a good nights sleep, I need to read about Ron dying in horrendous and funny ways, due to his folly and vices."

At this point it looks like a caricature, doesn't it ? We can notice, however, that people vent out their frustrations and violence on fictional characters. It's up to you if it is good or not. I think it is sick to post it on the Internet, on a personal level.

"A note to a couple of Ron fanboys that posted. First, don' t like? Don' t read. You can tell it is a bashing story from the summary. Second; each person can interpret the canon events the way he wants. Personally, i see it like this: Ron betrayed and abandoned his supposed best friend when he needed help the most. Twice. And he never even apologised properly! It is not our best moments and actions that show us who we really are, but our worst ones. Because, usually, that is when one lets his true self show. Ron is not a bad person, but he is an idiot in canon."

It actually reflects a way of thinking. Ron is defined by the moment he felt betrayed and argued against his best friend - and he tried to apologize, though didn't make Harry apologize for hitting him - and the moment he left under mental torture - the first one who tells me Ron isn't strong-willed will have to run really fast from my anger, because Ron resisted possession and once rebelled against a thought mass murederer on a broken leg and they know nothing about torture -. For this kind of people, you can't have flaws. You can't be faulty. You have to be perfect. You can't ever be forgiven. This is unhealthy.

"*Insane laugh* I love this story! I've always hated Ron. *Sigh* If only he died in cannon, then my life would be complete!"

Once again I am amazed by the VIOLENCE of such a statement.

"I just love the first one where Ron dies while stuffing his face. I have often thought that he had either Bulima or a tapeworm. I have actually seen someone eat like him. It turned out that this person was Bulimic. How else does someone stuff himself and remain skinny?"

It displays a total lack of understanding of what eating disorders really are. Those are disorders which are really extremely difficult to deal with on a daily basis. They are mistaken here with bad eating manners.

"Are you in middle schoolers? Because that's how they teach you how to write in middle school. Also, Ron IS stupid. His grades show that. And Hermione is always caring and helping Harry, even when Ron is off sulking, jealous of Harry. And who cares if Ron came back after leaving? He still left! And getting his ass off of bed is not an excuse for Ron. He only goes along with Harry because he needs to! To keep being Harry's friend, that is. You're actually as mentally deficient as Ron is, and I hope you learn some proper fucking grammar."

Once again intelligence is confused with good grades. That's how you end up with teachers telling students who don't have good grades that they are too stupid to do anything of their life. Ron is here considered as an opportunist. As if he had chosen to be friends with Harry for fame -internal scream. As if being friends with Harry was easy. As if he had not commited his life to help his friends. Notice that once again someone is judges according to his so-called bad actions (to me, Ron leaving is not a mistake Ron did, as I said multiple times already).

"Oi weasel!, for the first and final time, there will never be an Hermione and you, so stop dreaming about her; she's way, out of your league, otherwise l will make you into an weasel patty..."

Love is seen as a question of worthiness.

"Can the Basilisk eat him? please please let the Basilisk eat him"

Once again the violence strucks me.

"ugh i hate him 2 he always runs away or gets jelous. The one thing he did was play stupid chess. Like geez. I love the owl 1".

Chess is considered stupid. CHESS IS CONSIDERED STUPID, BUT WRITING AN ENTIRE FANFIC TO KILL A FICTIONAL CHARACTER IS NOT. Those people are sickeningly judgemental and self-righteous.

"Thank you, I really needed a good laugh and nothing is more funny than Ron dying in horrific, nasty ways."

*throws up*

"Hilarious. Keep updating. I can't stand Ron. The flaws of Snape, Albus, Remus, Sirius and the rest makes them interesting characters. The flaws of Ron make him a putz."

Notice that Ron is the one character that apparently can't be forgiven for his flaws. Ever.

"Lol, Keep killing Ron, it's enjoyable. It's a good stress reliever to read these. :)

See ! Ron is nothing more than a punching ball to those people. I'm scared, really. Their immaturity is worrying.

"I agree with you about Ron he really is a good for nothing person in canon."

*sees red* That's what I'm fighting against in real life. People telling teenagers (and here one of the most admirable fictional teenagers I've ever seen) with a crippling lack of self-esteem that they are worthless. DON'T LISTEN TO THEM !

"this is so funny. i love the owl treats one. my favourite so far. anyone who dares say this is rubbish will face my anger, dont worry. just because it wont happen in canon dosent mean its not good."

Well, sorry to break it to you, but this is rubbish.

"Harry could have been the next Voldermort or Dumbledore if Ron hadn't infected him wi"

Ron and his friendship with Harry are seen as DISEASES.

"Weasley must die! Weasley must die!"

"I actually don't mind Ginny as a character, but Ron has always severely irritated me. The ending to Deathly Hallows was disappointing - how could JKR stick Hermione with a git like that? Ron's been nothing but awful to her since day one, and let's not even get started on how he's treated Harry...

Not really such a "loyal" sidekick, is he? When it all comes down to it, he's a selfish prat, thinking of nobody but himself. The PoA incident with Crookshanks, then GoF when he accused Harry of putting his name into the Goblet - there's been numerous occaisions in which that red haired git has allowed his jealously to get the better of him and abandoned his friends all because of his own petty insecurities.

Halfway through Deathly Hallows, I was ready to strangle him. I know the locket probably brought most of it on - but I don't see that as an excuse for him to throw a childish temper tantrum and blow up about Harry not knowing what he's doing. Okay, so you miss mummy's cooking, and living your life as a lazy sloth..

No reason to take it out on your two best friends. At least your parents are still alive, you ignorant MORON. I was rather pleased when Harry told him off, though. :)

All in all; Ron has always been an annoying, pain in the butt character to me. Utterly useless, really.

I can't wait to see what other creative ways you come up with to kill him.

*adds story to favorites*

Weasley is NOT my king."

So many things wrong.

Ron has been nothing other than awful to Hermione ? What about 'You're the most wonderful person I've ever met ?' 'She's been perfect, as usual.' ? What about getting detention several times (and one washing bedpans) for defending her ?