#my stepdad and her both told me to let it go but i'm

[bakafurai]

man I don't know what my mum was expecting when i started nitpicking her joke bc one part didn't make sense to me like,,,, i'm autistic I just kinda Do That(tm) sometimes sorry 😔

[sugume]

THINK I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABY w/Jujutsu Kaisen

( TW ) f!Reader, Breeding kink, unprotected sex, cream pie, cum inflation, hair pulling, sex toys, overstimulation, stepdad!Toji, daddy kink, overstimulation

Featuring: Gojo Satoru, Toji Fushiguro, Geto Suguru & Choso Kamo

authors note: repost bc tumblr took it down for no reason...

☾ GOJO SATORU

“Fuck Love, you’re sucking me so good.” Satoru groans, struggling to not crash the car. During dinner, you two kept passing each other such heated looks that even your friends commented on the tension. Earlier today, you got a notification from your health app that you were ovulating. Satoru jumped on you as soon you told him, he wanted to stay in all day and fuck, but your guys’ friends blew up his phone reminding him of the promises you both made to them. After dinner you couldn't keep your hands off each other, you were desperate for his cum and Satoru was desperate to breed you. “Don’t cum ‘Toru.” You warn before sticking his cock back in your mouth. “Can’t help it Love, mouth too fuckin’ good,” he says, sighing in relief when he pulls onto your street, clicking the button in his car that opens the garage. He barely has the chance to take the keys out of the ignition before you pull him out of the car. “Don’t have time to make it up to the bed, just fuck me right here.” You demand, leaning over the car and presenting Satoru with your ass. Satoru pulls your dress up and shoves his cock into your pussy. He reaches over your hip to stimulate your clit. “‘Toru, just cum in me, I don't care ‘bout gettin’ off.” You move your ass in perfect sync with his hips. “You sure Love–” “Breed me ‘Toru!” You moan, feeling his cum fill you up. You drop your head to the still-warm hood of the car, finally able to catch your breath now that his load was deep in your cunt. “C’mon Love, let's finish this in the bedroom.” 

☾ TOJI FUSHIGURO  

You peak over the corner of the hallway, winking at Toji who was busy talking to your mother. ‘Come fuck me.’ Your mouth once you catch his attention before running back up the stairs, careful not to make any noises. You told your mom that you weren't feeling well, that during the drive back from college you must’ve caught something. In all honestly, you just wanted a chance to freely fuck your stepdad without your mother coming in and out of your room. Specifically, you wanted to be bred by him, and the best way to keep his cum in you was to use several pillows and put them under your ass so his cum didn’t spill out, hence why you didn't want your mom to barge into your room. Thank God she's a germaphobe. You strip out the Pj set you threw on and lay yourself face down, ass up. Your stepdad’s favorite position. As expected, you hear your stepdad softly shut the door a few minutes later. “Desperate now, are we?” He grips your hips. “Always desperate for you Daddy.” you mumble into the bed. “Huh,” he slaps your ass before pulling you up by the hair. “Didn’t hear you slut.” “Said ‘m always desperate for you Daddy, even prepared myself with the dildo you bought me.” You whimper. “Such a good girl,” He pulls his hard cock out of his slacks, gives it a few tugs before stuffing your cunt to the brim. “Now take this dick slut.” He pushes your head down into your lilac duvet. You try and fail to be silent when his dick hits that special spot every time he goes deep enough. “You okay in there, y/n?” You hear your mother's muffled voice through the door. You clench down on your daddy's dick in surprise, causing him to fuck you faster. “Y/n?” “Y-yes mom, I'm fine, just go away p-please.” You gasp out, throwing your head back into the bed in ecstasy when you hear her mumble and walk away. “Daddy, 'm cumming! Cum with me!” You whisper-yell. “Gonna fill this pussy, get you so full of my seed you can never leave this house again.” He grunts, slamming into you at a bruising pace. “Yes, please Daddy, fill me up!” You orgasm and Toji follows suit, filling you with so much cum it spills out.  

☾ GETO SUGURU 

“I'm so full Sugu.” You mumble, dazed. You fight the urge to close your eyes and fall back into Suguru’s big, warm chest. “Wake up sweet girl. ‘M not done yet.” He mumbles into your sweaty neck. “B-but Sugu–” “Shush Lovebug, one more time.” Suguru looks over your shoulder to see where you two are connected. He plugged you up good, but after so many loads a trickle of his cum slowly travels down his almost empty balls. “O-one more.” You grab his chin and kiss him sweetly. He rubs your noses together before grabbing your hips and moving you down the shaft of his cock. He pays close attention to not pull you over the tip of his cock. You hold onto your stomach, feeling it protrude slightly more than normal, Sugu’s cock and cum inflating you. You feel like a cum filled, flesh light as Sugu moves you to his liking. It’s hard to believe he has more cum in him. “Fuck Lovebug, you feel so warm and tight.” He mummers, giving you a few more neck kisses. You lean closer into him. Right now, you want to live in his skin. “Love you Sugu, can’t wait ta have your baby.” “I Love you too, can’t wait to see you carryin’ my child.” He grips your hips tighter at the thought.  “‘bout to fuck another load into you sweet girl, you wan’ it?” “Yes please, more than anything.” You rest your head back into his shoulder. He shrugs at your head until your mouth is close enough to kiss. He slams your hips down and cums as you two make out and whisper sweet nothings. 

☾ CHOSO KAMO

“Again, Baby.” Choso holds the vibrator to your clit. You arch your back and forget the fact that you have nipple clamps on. You scream when the clamps move. Your entire body is sensitive, Choso came up with the idea to simulate you to the max when you said you wanted to have his baby, that you wanted him to breed to and fill you to the brim with his cum. You readily agreed to his idea because you knew that the more orgasms you had the better chance you had to get pregnant, something about the virginal walls relaxing when women orgasm. Now though, you’re regretting it. Choso’s been holding the vibrator on your clit for the last hour and every time you think you’ve gone numb to the sensation; he finds a way to make you cum harder than the last. “N-no Choso, ‘m done down, I've cum as I can, wan’ you to fuckmenow!” You slur your words, the pleasure making you lightheaded. “One more Babygirl.” He soothes you, rubbing your stomach and imagining what you’d look like full of his cum. Beautiful, you’d look beautiful. “At least fuck me while you give me another orgasm!” You argue, staring at him with glossed-over puppy eyes. Choso gives in and situates himself between your legs, still holding the vibrator over your clit. You sigh happily when he sets the vibrator down and thrust his cock in you. You thought you were completely numb down there but the feeling of Choso thrusting into your hole that’s been contracting nothing felt godly. Adding that with the vibrator that he put back on your clit, you come immediately. “Choso!” You scream clenching around him so tight he can’t help cumming. “Fuck! ‘M filling you up so good baby!” 

[slut4thebroken]

Practice Makes Perfect

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | stepdad!Jackson Rippner x reader

Summary | You go to your stepdad for help… with very pure intentions… obviously. (Heheh)

Warnings | Smut, 18+, sexual content, innocence kink, corruption, large age gap, but not under age, hand jobs, oral both m and f receiving, spanking, daddy kink technically, also incest I guess?, groping, thigh riding, praise, a sprinkle of degradation and humiliation.

Words | 7.5 k

Notes | I hope it was worth the wait folks. Also ionno how I feel about this gif but whatever lol

Ao3 link | <3

Masterlist

You liked making men crave what they could never have, that’s why you dress the way you do. But it seemed like the one man you actually wanted to crave you, never did. Much to your disappointment. 

But you liked doing it in a subtle way, where at first glance, it wouldn’t seem like your goal was to get his attention. You’d wear loose, frilly skirts, always on the shorter side, but not short enough to be too obvious, and tight crop tops that were somewhat see-through. You also liked wearing pretty dresses and knee high socks and dainty jewelry and soft makeup. All of which at first glance would just seem like a cute, unintentionally sexy— yet still in an innocent way somehow— outfit. 

Nothing you ever did caught his eye though. Sometimes you’d forego the bra all together so that your nipples were just barely poking through the thin fabric of your top, but you still didn't get a reaction. So you decided to step it up. 

“Mr. Rippner?” You asked quietly, making him look up from the computer screen as you hesitantly walked in. 

“How many times have I told you to call me Jackson.” He said teasingly.  

“Sorry…” You couldn’t help the blush that painted your cheeks when he gave you a soft smile. 

“What's up?” 

“I can come back later if you’re busy…”

“Never too busy for you. Come sit.” He clicked a few buttons on the computer then gave you his full attention. You dragged one of the arm chairs a little closer to his desk, then sat down. 

“I just… had a question— questions. But I’m scared to ask my mom.” You said quietly, nervously playing with the fabric of your skirt. 

“Scared?” 

“I don’t want her to see me any differently… and I’m scared that asking this might do that.” 

“You can talk to me.” His tone was so genuine that it made you want to tell him anything and everything about yourself, even your deepest secrets. His warm smile wasn’t helping much either. 

“Thank you… So, um— there’s this guy that I like..” He just barely stiffened when you said that. “He’s older,”

“How much older?” 

“A little more than twenty years…” 

“He’s in his forties?” 

“Early fourties, yes.” You said quietly, not able to maintain eye contact any longer. You couldn’t figure out what emotion was on his face right now. “But I really really like him, Mr. Rippner, and he treats me right.” 

“Any man going after you who’s that old will not treat you right.” 

“Oh…” You kept your eyes on your lap as your chest ached. Even though this wasn’t a direct rejection it still hurt. “Sorry.” 

“Hey— no, I'm sorry.” His tone was noticeably softer. “I just worry about you, kiddo.” Your whole face heated up at the name, as it always does. “I'm sorry. If you still want to talk, I'm here for you.” 

“Thanks…” When he didn’t say anything, you took that as your cue to continue. “I- I’ve been having.. bad thoughts about him, Mr. Rippner. And I know that it’s wrong, but I just can’t help it. I don’t even really know what he’s making me feel, just that it makes me feel dirty…” His cheek tensed as he clenched his jaw.  

“Inappropriate thoughts, you mean?” He clarified and you nodded in response. “I see. And before I respond, what exactly is it that you’re asking me?” 

“I- I want to impress him… but I’ve never done.. anything. I’m scared I’ll make a fool of myself, so I was hoping… you could help me?”

“Help you?” He choked out. You nodded and bit your lip. “Let me just make sure I’m hearing this right. You want to fuck a man twice your age,” you blushed at his crude words, “but you’re nervous about it… so you’re asking your step father, who’s also twice your age, to help you practice so you feel more confident?” 

“I’m sorry, this was stupid.” You muttered as you got to your feet. 

“Sit down.” His voice was technically still soft, but you could hear the underlying sternness in his tone, so you lowered yourself back down in the chair. “Why me?” 

“I just… I trust you a lot, Mr. Rippner— more than most. I know you’d never do anything to take advantage of me.” You said, even though you hoped he would. 

“And what about your mom?” That made you frown. 

“I didn’t mean it in a cheating way. Just for you to show me what to do— to teach me. That’s not cheating.” 

“Sweetheart…” He started, making your frown deepen. “You understand why this would be wrong other than that, right?” 

“…No.” You did. 

“Not even talking about the fact that I'm twice your age— I’m your step father. This is not something that step fathers teach their step daughters.” He explained gently. 

“Oh.. I guess you don’t have to, then. I can just… ask him to teach me or something.” 

“Absolutely not.” He said sternly, startling you. “Telling him that will practically give him the green light to manipulate and coerce you.” 

“He wouldn’t do that.” You frowned. 

“Yes he would. Every man would.” 

“Clearly not every man.” You muttered. 

“Look,” he sighed, “I do want to help you, kiddo, but it’s more complicated than that.” 

“It doesn’t have to be..” 

“But it is.” 

“Are you not attracted to me?” You asked suddenly. “Is that why?” He sighed again and looked away from you, making your stomach churn. “Oh.” You felt like you were about to cry any minute now— this is not going how it was supposed to at all. You felt stupid and embarrassed and you wished you never came in here. 

“I…” he sighed, “It's not that. I shouldn’t be attracted to you, honey. It’s wrong.”

“…But you are?” He said ‘shouldn’t’ so maybe that’s a good sign. 

“It’s doesn’t matter if I am,” 

“I’m attracted to you, Mr. Rippner.” You said quietly, waiting nervously for his reaction. “It doesn’t feel wrong.” He let out a heavy breath and closed his eyes as his head tilted back a little. You watched him carefully, trying to figure out what he was thinking. When he suddenly leaned back up and opened his eyes, they were significantly darker, the pretty, pale blue almost gone now. “Mr. Rippner?” You asked when he didn’t say anything. 

“I’m not going to show you, but I’ll tell you. How does that sound?” You frowned and looked away. 

“Okay… If you think that’s best, I trust you.” You said, silently praying for him to do more than talk to you. 

“Let’s just start off with you telling me what you do know.” 

“Um… Well, I’ve seen people kiss.. and I’ve tried to practice, but it feels awkward and I don’t want it to be weird when it happens.” 

“You never kissed anyone?” His eyebrows were raised as he stared at you in poorly concealed surprise. 

“…No.” You said, voice small. 

“Okay,” he cleared his throat and shifted in his chair, “okay. What else?” 

“I mean… I think I mostly know how the rest of it goes? The part where.. I don’t really do much. It’s the other parts that I don’t know.” 

“You mean foreplay?” You nodded with a blush. “And you know how to practice safe sex, right?” 

“A condom?” 

“That’s the most common way, yes.” He leaned back in his chair and let out a heavy breath. “Okay. I think I can help you out with some of it, but the rest you might just need to practice on your own. 

“But I have!” Your blush deepened when you realized what you just implied. 

“You have?”

“I- I mean.. I just— It…” Nothing you could say would save you. 

“Dirty girl… Do you have a toy hidden somewhere?” He said teasingly and you didn’t know how to respond, not when the real answer is so much more embarrassing and perverted. 

“Something like that..” He examined you carefully, making you feel like he was uncovering every secret you've ever had. 

“Oh I see.” He chuckled. “Creative little minx, aren’t you? What’d you use?” You looked down and bit your lip, feeling far too embarrassed right now. “Hairbrush handle? Cucumber?” 

“Stop teasing me, Mr. Rippner.” You pouted and he gave you a small smile.

“I’ll stop teasing once you stop calling me that.” When your gaze stayed on your lap, he continued. “Where'd you use it? Your mouth or your cunt?” Your head snapped up with a gasp at his vulgar language. 

“Mr. Rippner!” You scolded him, but your cheeks were far too red to uphold the sternness of your reprimand.

“It’s just a simple question, kiddo. You’re going to have to get used to those words if you want my help. I can’t really explain it without saying it.” 

“I- I know. It just caught me off guard is all and um… mouth.” You muttered, not able to maintain eye contact. “But I couldn't do it, it was too hard.” 

“What’d you try to do, sweetheart?”

“I dunno… just— anything that I thought might be right. I didn’t really know what to do.” You looked up at him with puppy dog eyes. “Need someone to teach me…” 

“You know that I can’t.” He said softly. 

“But how else am I supposed to learn? Why can’t you just help me?” You pouted, making him sigh. 

“I am helping you.” 

“But….” You were going to beg again, but so far that’s gotten you nowhere, so you decided to try something else. “Fine— I’ll just find someone else!” You said, standing up and turning around to walk out. 

“Sit down. I won’t tell you again.” He said sternly, making you freeze, but not turn around yet. 

“Mr. Rippner…” You finally turned back to face him, but you couldn’t look at him, “I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one day,”

“You really don’t want me to tell you again.” He warned and for the first time, you felt a little afraid of him. It was flustered fear, but fear nonetheless. You slowly walked back over and sat down again. 

“Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to help you, but you’re not going to tell anyone. Especially your mother. Do you understand?” You couldn’t help the smile that creeped up on your face as you nodded. 

“Come here.” You got back up and walked around the desk, waiting awkwardly for the next instruction. “On your knees.” Your stomach fluttered and you could feel the ache between your legs that you usually get when you’re near him. Slowly lowering yourself to the ground, you placed your hands on your lap and looked up at him as he rolled his chair back and faced you. 

“Do whatever you think is right. I’ll stop you or tell you what to do if you need help.” Even though that made you nervous because there was a higher chance you’d embarrass yourself, you agreed. 

Shuffling forward, you settled between his legs and reached for his belt. The bulge in his pants was already making your mouth water and you pressed your thighs together without thinking. His breath hitched when you accidentally brushed his crotch, but he let you continue until his pants were open enough for you to pull them down a little and reach inside to take out his length. 

You gasped at the size of him and stared at it with wide eyes and slightly parted lips— how is this ever going to fit.. anywhere inside you when it barely fits in your hand? He brushed your hair out of your face and you swallowed thickly as you forced your eyes away from his length to look up at him. 

“Y-you’re… Are they all this big?” You asked nervously, making him chuckle quietly. 

“Not all, but I’m only a little above average.” 

“Oh.” So the average is only a little smaller? That didn’t ease your nerves at all. 

“Just take it slow, kiddo. Don’t rush into it, go at whatever pace you’re comfortable with.” You were struggling to get yourself to follow the soft demand because of how badly you wanted to impress him. “Start with your hand.” You nodded and swallowed down the lump in your throat as you reached for his length. Tentatively grasping it in your hand, you stroked him slowly, looking up at him for confirmation. “A little harder, love.” You squeezed harder, but immediately pulled back when he winced. 

“I’m sorry,” 

“That’s okay. Here,” he took your hand in his and wrapped it around his cock, moving it slowly. “Like this, okay?” When you nodded, he let go for you to continue on your own. You noticed that his limited reactions seemed to mostly happen when you were at the tip, so you focused on that, rubbing your thumb over the bead of clear liquid on top, making him curse under his breath. 

“You know what that is?” He asked, almost breathlessly. 

“…Precum?” You were terrified of embarrassing yourself by saying the wrong thing, but you vaguely remembered learning that somewhere. 

“That’s right.. good girl. Have a taste.” With a blush from the praise, you tentatively brought your hand up and sucked your thumb into your mouth. “Do you like it?”

“I think so. It’s… watery but a little sweet almost?” He laughed quietly and you gave him a small smile. 

“Keep going.” You started stroking him again, keeping the pace a little slow as you got used to it. “Do you want to try using your mouth now?” You looked up at him nervously, but nodded anyway. “Okay, just suck on the tip while you keep stroking it.” You shuffled forward even closer and placed your free hand on his thigh to steady yourself as you leaned up a little. When you wrapped your lips around the head of his cock, he let out a shaky breath and put his hand on top of yours on his thigh. 

“Suck it and flick your tongue over it,” you obeyed and he let out a low moan, “there you go… Keep using your hand.” You hadn’t even realized you stopped stroking him until he mentioned it. 

“Atta girl. You’re a natural, kiddo.” You couldn’t help the whimper that slipped out at the praise, even if he was just teasing you. You continued stroking his length while mouthing at the tip, not sure what to do next. Thankfully he seemed ready to help you with that. 

“You want to draw it out a little so how about you practice kissing, hm?” You perked up at the thought of finally being able to kiss him, but almost pouted when you realized he didn’t mean on his lips. You gave the tip and quick kiss, then looked up at him, asking a silent question of what to do. “Kiss all over it, sweetheart.” You obeyed, working your way down the underside of his cock. “Good girl. Keep going down.” You were quickly reaching the base and you looked up at him in confusion. 

“You didn’t think you were just going to suck my cock, did you?” He chuckled, making you frown. You did think that… What else would you suck? “Start with kissing and licking my balls.” That made you pull back as your eyes widened. 

“Your— But… Is that,” 

“You’re not going to impress any man with a mediocre blow job. I’m trying to help you, baby.” You didn’t know that was a thing you had to do… and for some reason it felt dirtier than everything you’ve done so far. He picked up on your apprehension and his teasing smirk dropped into a more serious expression. 

“Hey, we don’t have to.” He said softly, genuinely. “The second you change your mind, we’re done, no questions asked. I can make you some hot chocolate and put on that movie you like and we don’t have to mention this ever again.” 

“I…” You swallowed the lump in your throat as your gaze shifted between his eyes and his cock. “Can we still do all of that after we do this?” You asked timidly, making the corners of his lips turn up into a small smile as he reached out to pet your hair. 

“Of course we can, kiddo. I’m pretty much done with work for the day so I’m all yours until it’s your bedtime.” You flushed at the mention of the silly rule he was so adamant about implementing. You told him that you’re an adult and adults don’t have bedtimes and he said that he just wants what’s best for you and that getting a good night's sleep is one of the best things you could do to take care of yourself. You didn’t protest again after that— mostly just because you liked the idea of him having that power over you. 

“Since it’s Friday… could we maybe.. extend my bedtime?” You asked coyly, staring up at him with wide pleading eyes. He raised his brows as he looked down at you for a moment before letting out a breathy laugh and looking away. 

“You’re getting too spoiled. I might as well start calling you princess.” He said with a sly smile, making you blush. 

“If I’m your princess, does that make you my daddy?” You asked innocently, making his breath catch in his throat, but he recovered quickly and decided to tease you a little. 

“Now where did you learn something like that?” Your blush intensified and you couldn’t maintain eye contact any longer. 

“Heard some classmates talking about it…” 

“Aren’t you a nosy little thing? But no kiddo, that doesn’t make me your daddy. I’m still just plain old stepdad Jackson.” He said with a small shrug. 

“But… if I want you to be?” You asked nervously. He let out a heavy breath that turned into a quiet chuckle. 

“If you want me to be… Then, we'll do a trial run tonight, how does that sound?”  

“Good. Thank you, daddy.” You decided to try it out immediately and it was strange how natural the word fell from your lips. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw his cock twitch. 

“Okay, princess. You do a good job and I’ll reward you by pushing your bedtime back an hour.” That made your face light up, but you were feeling bold right now. 

“…Two?” 

“Thirty minutes?” He asked, in the same tone as you, making you pout and accept his original offer of one hour. “Pick up where you left off.” He spread his legs to give you more room to shuffle forward and lean your face close to his length, but instead of aiming for his cock, you went lower. You did as he instructed, kissing and licking them gently. It felt dirty and wrong doing this, but somehow, at the same time, like the most fulfilling thing you've ever done. 

“Now suck one into your mouth.” The second your lips wrapped around one, he cursed under his breath and let out a sigh of pleasure, but it quickly turned into a wince, making you pull back instantly. “Gotta be gentler, honey.” 

“Sorry. I’m sorry.” You rushed out, face flushing with shame, and he shushed you. 

“It’s okay. Just do it a little softer.” You hesitantly leaned forward to try once again, now much more apprehensive this time. “There you go…” He cooed, “Few more seconds, then do the same to the other one. Don’t forget to use your hand on my cock while you do this.” You blushed at the crude words but wrapped a hand around his length again to start pumping slowly before releasing him with a loud pop and moving to the other one. His sounds gave you confidence and you flicked your tongue as you sucked, then pulled back to keep licking and kissing while you stroked him. It was hard to multitask though with how overwhelmed you were getting from his scent and his hand holding yours on his thigh and just his closeness. 

You tried not to get too embarrassed when your spit kept building up until it was covering your lips and chin, making you feel even dirtier. But you realized that you like how it feels. You like feeling filthy as you make him feel good. 

You kept mouthing at his balls, occasionally sucking on them, and he placed his free hand on your head, stroking your hair. 

“Fuck… Look at you— Are you sure you’ve never done this before?” He asked teasingly, not giving you a chance to reply before speaking again. “There’s no way this mouth belongs to my innocent little girl.” You blushed, feeling shy at the compliment. 

“Daddy…” You whined against him, never stopping the movement of your hand or mouth. 

“It’s okay, kiddo. You just keep sucking on my balls and stroking my cock. Don’t need to do anything else.” You whimpered and squirmed at his feet, quickly growing uncomfortable with the weird feeling between your legs. 

“Daddy, it hurts.” You didn’t want to disobey him by stopping right after he told you to keep going, so you barely pulled back enough to get the words out. 

“What hurts?” You whined quietly and pressed your thighs together. His gaze traveled down your body curiously. “Your cunt?” You mewled and blushed at the vulgar word, but nodded in agreement. 

“You’re a proper whore, aren’t you?” He chuckled, making you frown and pull back. 

“No…” 

“There’s no need to be embarrassed, baby. If sucking balls is what gets you off, that’s nothing to be ashamed of.” 

“Stop making fun of me.” You pouted, making him smile. “And ‘m not a whore.” 

“Of course you’re not a whore, princess. You’re my whore.” Your entire face heated up and the ache between your legs got infinitely worse. “Isn’t that right?” You whined quietly and he chuckled. 

“Y-yes…” You whispered. “Yours.” 

“My what?” Your expression turned into a pout and you averted your gaze. “Hm?”

“Your— your whore.” You choked out as tears welled in your eyes from the humiliation of it all.  

“Good girl. Keep going.” 

“But,” He gave you a warning look so you ignored the fire in your belly and leaned back in. Your hand picked up again as you tried new things with your mouth on his balls, making sure to repeat the ones that drew any sounds from him. There was even more saliva now and you could feel some of it dripping down your neck to your chest.

“Go a little lower now.” 

“W-what?” You choked out, trying to pull back, but he used the hand on your head to hold you there. “Relax, kiddo. Just a little bit.” He explained, but you were still apprehensive. He pushed you down until your chin hit the chair then pulled you closer, burying your nose into his balls and holding you there. 

“Lick.” He demanded, but you weren’t sure what you were supposed to be licking. Since you weren’t able to question him, you just stuck your tongue out and moved it as best you could with how close he was holding you to his body. “There you fucking go.” He groaned, bucking his hips against your face. 

“So fuckin’ filthy.” He said through a breath. Despite the degrading words he used, his tone was full of admiration and pride. “Covered in your own spit as you lick my taint.” He chuckled, voice a little darker now. “Work your way back up slowly.” He lessened the pressure on your head and you gave one last lick before moving up to his balls, mouthing at them for a few seconds, then kissing up his length until you reached the tip. You pulled back and looked up at him, waiting for the next instruction eagerly. 

“…I’m on the fence about teaching you this.” You furrowed your brows in confusion. 

“What is it?”

“It’s not necessary for a good blow job, you can leave a guy plenty satisfied with what I’ve taught you so far, but this just makes it even better.” You wanted to make him feel even better so there wasn’t any doubt in your mind. 

“Please teach me?” You asked, even though you still weren’t really sure what he was talking about. 

“Are you sure?”

“Please, daddy.” You whined. 

“Okay, princess. Hands off.” You let go of his cock and placed your hand on his thigh. “Open.” Your mouth fell open and he adjusted so he was gripping your hair, then slowly lowered you onto him. 

“First I want you to show me how far down you can take it.” He kept his grip on your hair, but let you move freely. Slowly forcing yourself down, you looked up at him for a moment before taking a deep breath through your nose and closing your eyes to concentrate. This is what you’re not good at. You kept going down until he brushed the back of your mouth. When you tried to move down even more, you gagged and had to pull off. 

“Good girl. Almost halfway.” You all but beamed at the praise. “I’m going to try holding you there. Pinch my thigh if it’s too much, okay?” You nodded and he gave you a small smile. “Take a deep breath.” You inhaled and let your mouth fall open, waiting for him to guide you down onto his cock. He pushed your head slowly until he reached the back of your mouth, then held you still. You were fine for a few seconds as you breathed heavily through your nose and focused on suppressing your gag reflex, but once it started, you couldn’t stop it and you had to pinch his thigh. 

“That was good, kiddo. You’re already getting better. Just try to keep your mouth open wider so your teeth aren’t touching it, okay?” 

“Okay. Sorry…” You looked away, feeling embarrassed. You didn’t know how you were supposed to open your mouth any wider when your jaw was already starting to ache because of his size. 

“Don’t apologize. You’re learning, you’re bound to make a mistake or two.” He said, easing your nerves. 

“Can I try again?” 

“Whenever you’re ready.” You sank down on his cock voluntarily this time and took deep breaths through your nose as he held you there. You didn’t want to gag, but you could feel it coming anyway. When it happened, you squeezed his thighs to keep yourself from pinching him, wanting to hold out a little longer. He shushed you and used a hand to pet your head while the other held you down as your body instinctively tried to pull up. 

“Good girl. See if you can control it.” You squeezed your eyes shut with a strangled whimper and tried to breathe slowly. “That’s it… I'm going to pull you up a little so you can take a breath.” He lifted you only an inch or so up and you heaved in a shaky breath before he pushed you back down. You weren’t expecting him to actually only let you take a single breath, so you gagged again the second he hit the back of your mouth. This time though, you gagged hard enough to make you feel like you could throw up if it happened just one more time so you pinched him and he pulled you off. 

A string of saliva connected your lips to his cock and you panted heavily, trying to catch your breath and push down the nausea. 

“I’m so proud of you, kiddo. You’re doing amazing.” It didn’t feel like you were doing amazing, but you blushed at the compliment anyway. 

“Thank you.” You rasped, giving him a small smile. He cupped your cheek, rubbing the saliva on your lips around a little as he returned the expression. 

“Keep this up and I might consider pushing your bedtime back two hours instead.” Your face lit up at that and he laughed under his breath. 

“Really?” 

“You deserve it.” You smiled and his thumb swiped over your lips again, so you took it into your mouth and sucked lightly. “Christ— You’re going to kill me, baby.” He groaned, making you blush. “Do you think you can try something a little harder now?” 

“I think so.” You said quietly, after reluctantly pulling away from his thumb to speak. 

“I’m going to push you down farther, okay? You’ll probably gag, but I know you can take it.” He pushed your hair out of your face and gave you a reassuring smile. You nodded and moved closer to his length, taking a deep breath and waiting for him to push you down. He did it slowly and stopped once he reached the back of your mouth. Placing both hands on the back of your head, he applied more pressure, but did it quickly. You gagged instantly, but it cut off into a garbled whimper when he breached your throat barrier and pushed you all the way down until your nose was buried in his pelvis and your chin was resting on his balls. 

“Fuck— good fucking girl.” He said through a moan. You tried to stay there despite the intense need to gag, but it was quickly becoming too much. “You feel incredible, baby.” You squeezed your eyes shut, hearing him curse under his breath as you choked. When you couldn’t take it anymore, you pinched his thigh and he hesitated for a second before letting you pull off. He stroked your hair as you coughed and tried to catch your breath. You looked up at him through teary eyes and his other hand moved to cup your cheek and brush his thumb over your lips that were slick with even more saliva now. 

“How you holding up?” He asked softly and you cleared your throat before responding. 

“Good I think..” 

“Do you want to stop?” Kind of… but at the same time you wanted more. More of this— more of him. 

“No- no… I want to keep going.”

“Don’t just say that because you think it’s what I want to hear,”

“‘m not. Wanna keep going.” You whined. 

“Do you want to keep doing this or go back to what you were doing before?” He seemed to like this the most and you wanted to practice so you could get better for him. So even though your throat was already sore, you said yes. 

“This.” 

“Okay, baby. Whenever you’re ready.” You cleared your throat again and tried to even out your breathing before wrapping your lips around the tip again, waiting for him to push you back down. He moved you slowly until he reached the back of your mouth and you braced yourself for what was about to happen. 

Even though you were anticipating it, you still gagged when he applied more pressure, and then choked when he finally entered your throat. You were coughing and sputtering around him, each time forcing more spit out of your mouth, making your face heat up when you felt more of it roll down your neck to your chest. 

“That’s it… Good girl.” The moan that escaped you because of his praise sounded more like a garbled, incoherent sound rather than anything else. “Fuck— I’m gonna come, baby.” He groaned, making your stomach flutter. 

You wanted nothing more than to pull off so you could breathe and cough, but you wanted to let him finish. So you squeezed his thighs hard enough to make him wince and his hips flinched up, burying his cock even deeper. 

“When I pull out, keep your mouth open.” He rushed out and you could only make a strangled sound in return. His hips were rutting up into your mouth now as he kept a tight grip on your head, not letting you move when your body reflexively tried to pull away. He cursed under his breath, then let out a loud groan, and you felt heat in your throat until he pulled out. You coughed, but tried to keep your mouth open as he stroked his cock in front of you, making more come land on your tongue and around your lips. When his sounds quieted and his hand slowed to a stop, he stared down at you as he panted. 

“Swallow.” He demanded softly. You reluctantly closed your mouth and swallowed, then he swiped up the come that landed on your face and put it on your tongue for you to swallow as well. 

You tried not to let it show in your expression, but you weren’t expecting it to taste like that at all and it caught you off guard. Especially because you were expecting more of the sweet taste that the precum had. 

“Everyone tastes like that?” You asked quietly, making him chuckle. 

“I wouldn’t really know, sweetheart, but I would assume so.” He wiped your tears and the spit from your chin and your stomach fluttered again at the soft, simple action. “You did such a good job. I’m so proud, kiddo.” Your whole face flushed at the compliment, but you didn’t understand why he said it since it didn’t seem like you improved much. 

“Thank you..” You said anyway, making the corners of his lips turn up into a small smile. 

“Get up here, princess.” You immediately got giddy at the thought of being so close to him and you eagerly climbed onto the chair and straddled his legs, putting your hands on his shoulders. He rubbed up and down your thighs slowly, teasing you. 

“Do you think you’ve learned enough?” You tried not to frown at the thought of this ending so soon. 

“No…” You muttered, looking down. 

“No? What else can I teach you, baby?” He chuckled. You knew his question was rhetorical, but you answered anyway. 

“I- I don’t know how to… touch myself.” You said with a blush and his eyes widened a little. 

“You don’t touch yourself?” He asked through a breath, almost completely frozen. 

“I’ve tried… I just end up feeling awkward and dumb so I stop. But I need you, daddy, it hurts. Make it go away.” You whined, giving him puppy dog eyes and a frown. He cursed under his breath and closed his eyes for a moment, his grip tightening on your thighs. 

“Fuck— fuck, okay. I’ll teach you, but after that, no more.” 

“Okay.” You agreed, even though you knew you were going to be begging him to keep going when he decided to stop. He took a deep breath and you waited anxiously for him to do something. 

“You have to start slow, build up to it. Women are different from men, they need more than we do to get started.” His hands dragged up your thighs— over your skirt— to your hips, then up your waist, and sadly back down again. 

“Don’t wanna start slow.” You whined, squirming in his lap. 

“You told me to teach you and that’s what I’m doing, princess.” You huffed and looked away from him with a pout. When he suddenly grabbed your cheeks in one hand, then turned you back to face him and pulled you closer, your breath caught in your throat. 

“I don’t want any attitude from you when I’m the one doing you a favor.” He said lowly, but you were distracted by his breath fanning your lips and his grip on your face. “I control how fast or slow we go. Do you understand?” There was that fear again, only this time you subconsciously tried to grind against him. 

“Y-yes.” You whispered, staring at him with wide eyes, getting needier and needier. “Please,” You whined, squirming again, but stopping when his hand moved down to your throat. 

“What did I just say?” He gritted. 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry— But I can’t take this anymore, it’s torture!” You cried. He stared at you with a dark look that made you nervous and you waited anxiously for what was next. 

“Fine. Up.”

“Daddy…” You whined, but it cut off then he roughly grabbed your hips and lifted you to your feet. He didn’t even give you a demand before pulling you forward by your hips so that your legs were on either side of one of his. You gasped when he pulled you down and reached for his shoulders to steady yourself. “Grind on my thigh.” 

“W-what?” You choked out, eyes widening even more. 

“If you want to act like a bitch in heat, that’s how you’ll be treated. Hump my fucking thigh or we’re done for tonight.” He menaced, making your whole face heat up. You’ve never heard such degrading words before, especially not aimed at you, and even though you were probably supposed to be upset that he basically just called you a dog… you started moving your hips anyway. 

“You need to learn,” he landed a hard smack on your ass, making you cry out and tighten your grip on his shoulders, “when to fucking listen.” Another spank, this time on your other cheek. “I didn’t have to let you suck my cock, but I did…” When he hit you again, you felt tears brimming in your eyes. “I didn’t have to teach you how to deep throat,” you let out a choked sob when he hit you again, the hardest so far, “but I did.” He growled, spanking you twice in quick succession. 

“I’m sorry!” You cried, squeezing your eyes shut. 

“Look at the fucking mess you’re making.” He roughly fisted your hair and forced your head down so you could see the damp spot on his pants where you were grinding. You whined, getting so overwhelmed with the feeling between your legs and his words and his hands and just him. 

“Get the fuck up.” He suddenly said, making your heart drop. Was he going to leave you like this? All needy and achy?

“Daddy, ‘m sorry.” You whimpered, staring at him with puppy dogs eyes and a pout. In response, he just lifted you off of him by your hips and stood up. You protested with a whine, but it cut off when he pushed you in front of the desk and roughly forced your chest down on it. You tried lifting yourself up, but he just placed a firm hand between your shoulder blades and forced you back down. 

“Stay.” He growled, making you stiffen. He flipped your skirt up and you squirmed with a low whine. “No shorts?” He spanked you again and you quickly scrambled for purchase on the desk. When he roughly groped your ass, you let out a quiet moan and squeezed your thighs together, but he kicked your legs apart, not letting you have any relief. 

“Daddy…” You whined, but it cut off into a yelp when he spanked you again. He roughly cupped your sex and you mewled in response as you pushed your hips back. 

“Such a needy fucking pussy for a virgin.” He gruffed, making you blush, but it only intensified when he pulled your panties to the side. 

“Fuck…” He muttered, then dragged a finger through your slit, spreading your arousal. “Fuck!” You jumped at the sudden increase in volume. Was he mad? He sounded like he was quickly losing his composure and you weren’t exactly sure why or how you could help him. 

“Daddy?” 

“Shut up.” He hissed, roughly gripping your underwear and pulling until he ripped it off of you. “Just shut the fuck up.” 

“Mmph!” He shoved your panties in your mouth before you could even register what was happening. He ignored you and roughly groped your ass again, pulling you apart to spread your holes and cursing under his breath. When wetness and heat replaced the chilly air on your clit, your hips flinched back toward the pleasure as a surprise moan escaped you. 

He licked over you slowly, still having a firm grip on your ass to keep you spread open. Moving up to your hole, he licked and sucked, making a loud, vulgar slurping sound that had you whining from embarrassment. 

You whimpered, hiding your burning face in your arms. He lapped up your arousal for a while before going back down to your clit and sucking it into his mouth. You choked on a whimper at the sudden, intense pleasure, making him chuckle against you. 

Your knees shook and you moved your hands to grip the desk, trying to ground yourself, but it was just so fucking intense. Eventually, your legs got too weak to hold you up and all of your weight was resting on the desk with the hard wood digging into your hip bones painfully. 

You whimpered, feeling your stomach tighten with arousal even more, but let out an anguished sob when he suddenly pulled back. Your head was spinning with how fast he lifted you off of the desk and sat you down on his chair, removing the makeshift gag.

He pulled your hips to the edge and dove back in eagerly. Your hands landed in his hair as you rocked your hips against his face, moaning and whining at the new feeling— you could already tell you were getting addicted. Moving down to your hole, he lapped up your arousal and rubbed his thumb over your clit, making your stomach feel even tighter.  

“If you let that… that fucking pervert anywhere near you I swear to god you won’t be able to sit for a fucking week.” He growled and you moaned at his words as well as the sudden possessiveness in his tone. “This pussy is mine. Do you understand?” You mewled and tugged his hair, trying to pull his mouth back on you, but he was stronger. 

“Y-yes. Yours, daddy.” You whined, tugging harder. “Please!” You cried, when he still wouldn’t give in. “It’s yours, daddy! I’m all yours.” You sobbed out, grinding your hips in hopes of getting the stimulation back. 

“Pull your shirt up.” He gruffed, only leaning back down after you obeyed. His mouth took over his thumb again and he reached up to grope your breast as he sucked on your clit in an almost feral manner. “Who’s tits are these?” He mumbled against you, starting to toy with your nipple now. 

“Yours.” 

“Who’s allowed to see them?” He switched hands, giving your other nipple the same treatment. 

“Only you.” You said through a breath, feeling the coil in your stomach get impossibly tighter. 

“Who’s allowed to touch them?” 

“Only you, daddy. Please!” He didn’t respond, he just worked harder and faster on your clit until you fell over the edge. You sobbed out a moan and pulled on his hair hard enough to make him hiss in pain. But that was overshadowed by the feeling flooding your entire body, making you tremble and writhe as you rutted against his face. You weren’t lying when you said you don’t touch yourself, but now that you know what an orgasm feels like? You might start trying honestly. 

Once your body sagged into the chair and your sounds died down, he pulled back, his lips and chin glistening. You were panting, still trying to calm down even though you were practically dizzy with pleasure. You felt warm hands running up and down your thighs, soothing you, and you gave him a dopey smile as your eyes fluttered open to look down at him. 

“You’ve got quite the grip on you, kiddo.” He chuckled, making you blush and loosen your hands in his hair. 

“Sorry.” You said sheepishly, trying to rub his scalp a little to soothe the ache he must be feeling from you pulling so hard. 

“You okay?” He asked and you nodded wordlessly. “I… I didn’t mean to get so harsh. I just worry.” 

“I know, it’s okay. I won’t go near him.” It felt like you were hit with a wave of exhaustion all of a sudden. Is that what orgasms do? Make you sleepy?

“Good girl. You tired?” When you nodded, he chuckled quietly. “Let’s get you cleaned up really quick. Wait here.” As if you could stand on your wobbly legs. You thought with an internal scoff. He left the room and returned with a damp washcloth a minute later. He started with your face, gently wiping the mascara from under your eyes and the dried spit around your mouth, trailing down your chest. Once that was cleaned up, he went even lower. You jolted when the cloth brushed over your folds. 

“I’ll be quick.” He said, trying to soothe you. He wiped the area gently and you couldn’t help the quiet moan that slipped out when he brushed your clit. “None of that.” He reprimanded you softly and with a smile. When he finished, he pulled your top back down and fixed your skirt. 

“Do you still want that hot chocolate and movie?” You nodded with a lazy smile and he chuckled before picking you up and carrying you to the living room. He set you down on the couch gently and laid a blanket over you, then kissed the top of your head. As he was walking to the kitchen, your brain was already starting to come up with new ways to get this to happen again. You still have so much to learn, after all. 

Taglist (join here)

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[palskippah]

Hi!

I love the Gay Dads AU so much pipipi

There's some thoughts and more drawings under the cut (and there's some mpreg wa)

-I'm not sure how the au works, but it gives me the impression that Ballister was Nimona's dad and then there came Ambrosius as a stepdad, or either they both adopted her and Nimona just took better to Ballister. But I'd go with the first option (unless there's a 'canon' option, in which case please if someone knows pipipi tell me)

-I love them so much you have no idea :'''v this is the sorta AU I create 😭 I'm having a lot of fun pipipi

-Also it makes me kinda sad that some of the drawings where Ambrosius is with Nimona he's got a >:c face on, like he doesn't know what he's doing which is very on brand for new parents but pipipi I want them to get along

-Nimona didn't talk much when she was little but one day she started talking full sentences with a big vocabulary, and then never shut up again.

>Not sure if she never talks in the drawings ND Stevenson did of this AU because she's very young or she just doesn't want to.

-Nimona loves Ballister the most and feels the most comfort in his hug, but she has more fun with Ambrosius

[Here's the mpreg YIPII]

-If they had Cyrus (the fankid I made for comic Goldenheart) it'd still be very much an accident and Nimona would be small (under four), and not very happy about it.

-She's definitely jealous and becomes very clingy to Ballister, which he finds adorable when he's not exhausted.

(The idea here was Ambrosius asking whether she'd like a brother or a sister, since she's having a sibling, but I think I phrased it wrong sjdks)

>Ballister and Ambrosius do their best for her to not feel left out, but when Cyrus' born she's not as jealous as they thought, and it seems that she actually likes him (but she doesn't let him touch any of her sea animal toys)

-Also Nimona wasn't told that her little brother was being born that day until later when Meredith was looking after her.

>She was being her toddler self and accidentally giving Ballister a more stressful time

-There's a video of a little kid with his newborn sister (I assume) in his arms and he says 'she doesn't have any arms 😦', so imagine that Nimona thought the same thing and given that Cyrus' hair is black too, she thought that her baby brother looked just like her dad 😭

-Also here's the two babies bc I love them, thinking that they'd be the sort of siblings with a small age gap that fight a lot but also love each other a lot

>Cyrus gets the smallest slice of cake, the glass with less soda, the ugliest fork in the house, and also Nimona's full support if he ever needs it.

>Also

Nimona: My pronouns are she/they Cyrus: And my pronouns are he/they The nonbinary siblings (imagine the wall of fire text)

>Also imagining them both adult or at least teenagers, where Cyrus' much taller than Nimona and her just stomping her foot in his direction and him squealing away (bc his sister is scary even if she's three apples tall)

That's it! :D

[lynzishell]

It's 10+ years in your sims future. Where are they at that time compared to where they are right now in your story?

Ok... so, I may have had a little too much fun with this one, and now I can't wait for li'l Aspen to be a child!!! 🥹🧡

Hi! My name is Aspen, but most people call me Annie, and I’m ten-and-a-half years old.

My mom is a Director at the Dreamer Foundation (whatever that means). And my dad is the Mayor of San Myshuno. They both work a lot. A LOT. I spend most days after school at home alone. Well, not alone alone. My dog, Pepper, is here with me. We play and go for walks. She’s really smart too. My uncle Asher is teaching me how to train her. She already knows how to sit and lay down. Next, I’m going to teach her how to roll over. Asher has a dog too. Her name is Pixel and she’s so cute! Pixel and Pepper are best friends! My best friend is Mei. She’s been my best friend since before I knew the word “best friend”. At least, that’s what my mom says.

Sometimes on the weekends Atlas, Asher, Pixel, Pepper, and me will all go to the Bay to visit Grandma Megan and Grandpa Alex. I love their house! It’s right by the ocean and has the biggest backyard I’ve ever seen! My cousin Spencer lives there too with her mom and stepdad. She’s a teenager, and she’s really cool. She has lots of friends and a boyfriend (but that’s a secret, so don’t tell anyone I told you), and she’s a songwriter. Her and Grandpa Alex are trying to teach me how to play the guitar, but it’s really hard and I’m not very good at it. Sometimes I need a break, so I’ll help Grandma Megan with her plants. She’s teaching me all about plants and flowers and herbs. One day I’m going to have a great big garden!

We always make it back home on Sunday because that’s when me and dad make dinner for everyone. It’s my favorite time of every week! My favorite thing to make is stuffed peppers. We buy them in every color. My favorite is the orange ones. Uncle Atlas likes the green ones. Ew!

Tonight, we were supposed to make risotto, but dad hasn’t come home yet. Mom says he’s stuck at work, but he never works late on Sundays. It’s our night. Atlas said he’d help me make the risotto, but I didn’t want to cook with him. I wanted to cook with my dad. I got really mad and ran to my room and locked the door. I’m not letting anyone in until he gets home. But it’s almost ten o’clock. I'm supposed to be asleep and my tummy is grumbling.

I hope he gets home soon…

[mr2swap]

the Great shift:hell called "Chuck"

-Chuck, are you serious?- At any other time I wouldn't mind my fat old stepdad scratching his balls in public, but now that we've swapped bodies things have changed for both of us.

Unfortunately thanks to the Great shift I landed in my stepfather's shitty body and since then I have lived as an obese old man with a gray unkempt beard, oversized soccer jerseys, and this terrible old man scent coming from my whole body, at first I thought it was Chuck's horrible natural scent but now that I have his body deodorant seems to not affect this 60-year-old man's body.

And while I have to live in this hell called "Chuck" he has taken over my life, I quit my job, he broke up with my girlfriend, he took over my friends! I have nothing left that is only mine! Since I got into this body I haven't seen any of my bros in the gym or the girl I was dating and I'm pretty sure Chuck hasn't told anyone that we were affected by the big change and I feel humiliated all the time for Chuck and his new and fit body.

-oh... I'm sorry boy, it's that I shaved my balls last night and it itches like hell...- Since my stepfather has my body he does nothing but get angry, at first it was torture, he kept massaging his muscles, smelling them, and kissing them in front of me every time we were in the same room and walking around the house showing off my huge cock like it was a trophy.

While I have to make do with the dick I now have hidden under this hairy belly and I still can't believe my mother married this fat bastard, although at least she doesn't have to see what her "husband" does to her "stepson"

I've been living like an obese old man for 3 months, and it doesn't seem like the government or anyone knows how to fix this, maybe I should just get used to this…for me and my health.

-Hey boy!, I completely forgot I'll use the car tonight so I'll just change my sweaty clothes and go with some friends for some drinks so don't wait up for me…-

It sounds more and more tempting to reveal the truth to my old friends, none of them know that they are actually partying with my elderly stepfather instead of me. But… Jesus!, I'm so embarrassed that anyone finds out about this that I'd rather they all continue to believe I'm old-fashioned, overweight Chuck.

-Oh! and if you want you can go to the motel next door you know why If the noises bother you I plan to bring someone in the evening and I would not like you to disturb us in the middle of the action-

But that's not the worst, I can't believe that even though I have my stepdad's pathetic dick now, he's hard all the time! And Chuck seems to take advantage of the fact that he knows I'm gay and that he has my extremely hot body.

-But if you promise not to make any noise, maybe I could leave the door a little open for you "Chuck"… of course, as long as our secret remains standing.-

At least "Trevor" seems used to my body and my life. I just wish he would stop being a jerk and stop using my body to get rich at the gay club in town, he's not even gay! He only uses my reputation in the club to bring drunk guys to our house, let them suck my old dick and take the money from their wallets.

Hey! You can support me to continue creating stories, see similar stories on my patreon, you can also join my discord if you are interested in role-playing about bodyswap, possession and transformation, m2m!

[mydarllinglover]

Alone || Picture to Burn

Previous

"So first I say something I've never done and if you have, you drink, and if you haven't, I drink. Then we switch" Beth explained the rules to Daryl. 

She had quickly got bored of their silent drinking, convincing the adults to play a drinking game around the table.

"You really don't know this game?" Beth asked.

"I never needed a game to get lit before."

"Seriously?" Natalia asked.

"Wait, are we starting?" Beth thought Daryl's reply was the start of never have I ever.

"How do you know this game?" He pointed at the blonde.

"My friends played. I watched. How do you know this game?" She asked Natalia.

"I was a teenage girl once."

"Okay. I'll start." Beth decided, she thought about it for a little bit. "I've never shot a crossbow. So now you drink."

Natalia didn't drink.

"Aint much of a game." Daryl said, picking up his drink and taking a sip.

"That was a warm up, now you go." Beth nodded at Daryl.

"I don't know."

"Just say the first thing that pops into your head."

"You don't have to think that hard about it." Natalia told him. 

"I've never been out of Georgia."

Natalia drunk.

"Really? Okay, good one." Beth then took a sip. "Okay, Nat, your turn."

Natalia clapped her hands together as she thought.

"Uhm... I've never lived on a farm." She shrugged, knowing this was something both of them did, even if it did end badly.

Beth and Daryl both drank, then it was Beth's turn again. 

"I've never... been drunk and did something I regretted."

Both Daryl and Natalia drunk

"I've done a lot of things." Daryl said.

"What did you do?" Beth asked Natalia.

"Well, incredibly embarrassing, I flashed a house party when I was 17, at the exact moment the cops decided to shut it down, as I was stood on the table with bra in hand... not my proudest moment."

"Did you get in trouble?" Beth asked, looking at her with wide eyes.

"Daryl, its your turn." Natalia turned to the redneck. 

"I've never been on vacation."

"What about camping?" Beth asked.

"No, that was just something I had to learn... to hunt."

"Your dad teach you?"

"Mhm."

"Okay." Beth shrugged as the two women drank. "Nat."

"Eurgh, uhm. I don't know, I've never rode a bike."

"Do you know how?" Beth asked.

"Nope, my dad died before he could teach me, so I never learned... my stepdad tried once but I kinda hated him as a kid."

"Why?"

"Cause my dad was dead and this random guy had moved into my house, also I was six. Once I grew up, he was cool." Natalia shrugged. "I was a total raging bitch to him, he was better than my moms other boyfriends, though.

"Did you have any siblings?" She then went on, Natalia kinda wished she'd just get on with her turn.

"No. I was enough for her, apparently too much." She scoffed.

Beth nodded, as her and Daryl drank. "I've never been in jail. I mean, as a prisoner."

Natalia could sense the change in Daryl's demeaner, but Beth hadn't seemed to clock on when she let out a short laugh.

"Is that what you think of me?" Daryl asked her.

"I didn't mean anything serious. I just thought, you know, like the drunk tank. Nat didn't you?"

"No, they took me home." She shook her head, picking at her fingers as the awkward tension surfaced.

"Even my dad got locked up for it back in the day." Beth tried playing her question off.

"Drink up." Daryl told her.

"Wait. Prison guard. Were you a prison guard before?"

Natalia rubbed her brow, wishing the girl would admit defeat.

Daryl stared at her before answering.

"No."

"It's your turn again."

Daryl tapped the table, standing up.

"I'm gonna take a piss." He decided walking across the room, dropping his glass down on the floor and letting it smash. 

"You have to be quiet." Beth reminded, her nerves picking up at the worry of walkers.

"Can't hear ya! I'm taking a piss!" Daryl raised his voice.

"Daryl, don't talk so loud." Beth continued.

"Beth, stop." Natalia tried to warn, keeping her voice low.

"What, are you my chaperone now?" He looked over his shoulder.

He zipped his pants up, turning around.

"Oh wait. It's my turn, right?" He asked rhetorically. "I've never, uh..."

"Daryl, just stop." Natalia told the man with a sigh, but he ignored her.

"I've never eaten frozen yogurt. Never had a pet pony. Never got nothing from Santa Claus." He smacked a chair. "Never relied on anyone for protection before. Hell, I don't think I've ever relied on anyone for anything."

"Daryl."

"Never sung out in front of a big group out in public like everything was fun. Like everything was a big game. I sure as hell never cut my wrists looking for attention." He sneered.

Natalia whipped her head to look at the pair, Beth looked humiliated that he said that.

"Daryl, you made your point." Natalia stood up. "Shut up."

The walker that was outside started snarling loudly, banging on the door.

"Oh, sounds like our friend out there is trying to call all of his buddies."

"Daryl, just shut up." Beth hissed.

He grabbed his crossbow from the hook it was hanging from, pointing at Beth.

"Hey, you never shot a crossbow before? I'm gonna teach you right now."

He grabbed her wrist, pulling her up and kicking the door open. 

"We should stay inside. Daryl, cut it out!" Beth tried to wiggle out of his grip. "Daryl!"

Natalia rushed after them, wishing they never played the stupid game.

"Dumbass. Come here dumbass." Daryl called to the walker, shooting an arrow into the walkers shoulder, pinning him to a piece of wood.

"Daryl."

"You want to shoot?"

"I- I don't know how" Beth's voice was shaky.

"Oh, it's easy. Come here. Right corner." He grabbed Beth, pretending to teach her how to use it as he shot another arrow.

She pushed him off of her.

"Let's practise later."

"Daryl, leave her alone." Natalia told him.

"Come on, it's fun. You're the one who keeps saying she needs to learn to take care of herself."

"Just stop it. Daryl." Beth cried out, as he reloaded.

"Come here." He pulled her towards him again, demonstrating as he shot it in the leg. "8 Ball."

"Just kill it!"

"Come here, Greene. Let's pull these out. Get a little more target practise." He walked towards the walker, but Natalia stopped him, running in front and plunging her knife in its head.

"What the hell you do that for, we was having fun!" He shouted at her.

"You're being an asshole, stop." She pressed a hand to his shoulder, pushing him away.

"You were being a jackass!" Beth took over. "If anyone found my dad."

"Don't." Daryl turned on her. "That ain't remotely the same."

"Killing them is not supposed to be fun.”

"What do you want from me, girl, huh?"

Natalia walked away, staying towards the door of the house, keeping a lookout whilst they got whatever pent up frustration and anger about Hershel off their chest's, but she could still hear them loud and clear.

"I want you to stop acting like you don't give a crap about anything. Like nothing we went through matters. Like none of the people we lost meant anything to you. It's bullshit!" She screamed.

"Is that what you think?"

"That's what I know."

"You don't know nothing."

"I know you look at me and you just see another dead girl, so does Nat, cause I'm not her. I'm not Michonne. I'm not Carol. I'm not Maggie. I've survived and you don't get it 'cause I'm not like you or them. But I made it, and you don't get to treat me like crap just because you're afraid."

"I ain't afraid of nothing." Daryl denied.

"I remember. When that little girl came out of the barn after my mom. You were like me."

Natalia was trying to piece together what Beth was saying, she must've been talking about Sophia.

"And now God forbid you ever let anybody get too close."

"Too close, huh? You know all about that. You lost two boyfriends, you can't even shed a tear. Your whole family's gone, all you can do is just go out looking for hooch like some dumb college bitch." Daryl raised his voice again.

"Screw you. You don't get it."

"No, you don't get it! Everyone we know Is dead!"

"You don't know that!"

"Might as well be, 'cause you aint never gonna see 'em again. Rick. You ain't never gonna see Maggie again."

"Daryl, just stop."

"No! The Governor rolled right up to our gates. Maybe if I wouldn't have stopped looking. Maybe cause I gave up. That's on me."

"Daryl." Beth tried to argue.

"No." His voice broke. "And your dad. Maybe... Maybe I could have done something."

The arguing had stopped.

Natalia leant against the wood, letting what he had confessed sink in.

It was night time, the three sat on the porch, peacefully in silence, Beth had brought a jar of moonshine, taking small sips now and again.

"We should start a club." Beth sighed.

"What sorta club?" Natalia asked her.

"The dead boyfriend club." Beth said, earning a snort out of the woman. "No offence, Daryl, but you don't qualify to join."

He looked at her, not saying anything.

"Alright Greene, I'll join your club." Natalia offered her hand to shake, which Beth shook. "The dead boyfriend club."

"I get why my dad stopped drinking." Beth admitted.

"You feel sick?" Daryl asked in a quiet voice.

"Nope."

"Be glad if you don't have a hangover in the morning, they suck." Natalia told her.

"I wish I could feel like this all the time." Beth confessed. "That's bad."

"Hmm. You're lucky your a happy drunk."

"Yeah I'm lucky. Some people can be real jerks when they drink."

"Yeah. I'm a dick when I'm drunk."

"Understatement of the year." Natalia commented.

"Merle had this dealer." Daryl started, after another moment of silence. "This janky little white guy. A tweaker. One day we were over at his house watching TV. Wasn't even noon yet and we were all wasted. Merle was high. We were watching this show and Merle was talking all this dumb stuff about it. And he wouldn't let up. Merle never could. Turns out  it was the tweakers kids favourite show. And he never sees his kids, so, he felt guilty about it or something."

Natalia started picking at her fingers as he talked.

"So he punches Merle in the face. So I started hitting the tweaker, like, hard. As hard as I can. Then he pulls a gun, sticks it right here." He pointed his finger at his temple. "He says, "I'm gonna kill you, bitch." So Merle pulls his gun on him. Everyone's yelling. I'm yelling. I thought I was dead. Over a dumb cartoon about a talking dog."

"How'd you get out of it?" Beth asked.

"The tweaker punched me in the gut. I puked. They both started laughing and forgot all about it." He finished his story. "You wanna know what I was before all this? I was just drifting around with Merle, doing whatever he said we were gonna be doing that day. I was nobody. Nothing. Some redneck asshole, and an even bigger asshole for a brother."

"You miss him, don't you?"

Natalia remembered that day, when her and Daryl found him, how she held him as he cried, then they got up and went back to the prison, never speaking about it again.

"I miss Maggie. I miss her bossing me around. I miss my big brother Shawn. He was so annoying and overprotective. And my dad. I thought, I hoped he just live the rest of his life in peace, you know? I thought Maggie and Glenn would have a baby. And he'd get to be a grandpa. And we'd have birthdays and holidays and summer picnics. And he'd get really old. And it'd happen, but it'd be quiet. it'd be okay." He'd be surrounded by people he loved." She laughed for a little bit, looking away from the other two. "That's how unbelievably stupid I am." She choked up, taking a swig of moonshine.

"You're not stupid." Natalia shook her head.

"That's how it was supposed to be." Daryl added.

"I wish I could just, change."

"You did." 

"Not enough."

"Not like you. Either of you. It's like, you were made for how things are now."

"I changed cause I lost the most precious thing in my life, I had to, cause who I was before, that wasn't enough, then a lot of bad shit happened in those 5 months I was by myself, I was forced into it." Natalia sighed. "Doesn't mean it was necessarily all for good."

"And, I'm just used to it, things being ugly." Daryl said. "Growing up in a place like this."

"Well, you got away from it." Beth tried to have a positive outlook.

"I didn't" Daryl denied. 

"You did."

"Maybe you got to keep reminding me sometimes."

"No. You can't depend on anybody for anything, right?" Beth reminded. "I'll be gone someday."

"Stop."

"Don't say that." Natalia looked at her.

"I will."

"You're gonna be the last man standing, and the last woman." Daryl stared at her, whilst Natalia shook her head. "You are. You're both gonna miss me so bad when I'm gone, Daryl Dixon and Natalia Moore."

"You ain't a happy drunk at all.”

"Yeah, I'm happy. I'm just not blind."

"Must be good moonshine, then." Natalia joked.

"You gotta stay who you are, not who you were. Places like this, you have to put it away."

"What if you can't?”

"You have to." Beth finalised. "Or it kills you." She pointed at her heart. "Here."

"We should go inside." Daryl decided.

"We should burn it down."

"Beth." Natalia went to disagree, but stopped herself.

Daryl stood up, grabbing the jar of moonshine.

"We're gonna need more booze." Daryl said, heading back inside.

Beth followed, then Natalia got up, trailing along.

The three undid the tops of the moonshine, splashing it across the place, covering the cabin in the liquid.

Natalia picked up the gun, putting it back around her shoulders, tying the crewneck jumper she picked up from the country club, around her waist, then continued.

They then continued to pour the last few jars on the porch, throwing the jars and letting them smash into thousands of pieces.

Daryl dug through his bag, picking up a box of matches and handing it to the teen.

"You wanna?" He asked her.

"Hell yeah." She grinned, taking the box and lighting a match.

He held out a wad of cash, letting her light it on fire, then he threw it at the cabin.

The three watched in victory as flames licked up the wood.

They then walked further away, knowing it was going to attract walkers, but stalled for a moment, continuing to gaze at the flames.

Beth smiled triumphantly, flipping the cabin off, then nudged the two next to her, gesturing for them to copy, which they did.

Natalia noticed the undead start to arrive.

"Gotta go." She muttered, turning back around and heading through the woods, Beth, pushed forward by Daryl, followed, him right behind her.

When the sky was blue, once again, Daryl decided to teach Beth how to use his crossbow properly, as well, how to track.

Natalia had enough lessons from the man about tracking, that she could handle, everything was a lesson if he was bored enough.

"Are we close?" Beth asked.

"Almost done." Daryl said in a low voice.

"How do you know?"

"The signs are all there." He explained. "Just got to know how to read 'em."

Beth lowered the crossbow, continuing the walk.

"What are we tracking?" She asked.

"You tell me." Beth turned around to look at him pointedly. "You're the one who wanted to learn."

"Use your surroundings, look at the clues oh young one." Natalia said in a deep wise voice, gesturing her arms around theatrically.

"I am." She glared at the woman, but turned to look at the ground. "Well, something came through here. The pattern is all zig-zaggy. It's a walker." Beth smiled.

"Maybe its a drunk." Daryl scratched his beard.

"I'm getting good at this." She ignored him. "Pretty soon I won't need you at all."

"Yeah, keep on tracking." He dismissed.

"Don't worry, I'll always need you." Natalia nudged him, teasingly. "Who else will skin animals for me, cause it's too gross."

"Whatever." He elbowed her back.

The three found Beth's walker, it was on its knees, eating something.

"It's got a gun." Beth pointed out, she raised the crossbow, aiming it at the walker as she inched closer.

Natalia pulled out a knife, just in case she needed to get involved, not like she didn't have faith in the girl, but you couldn't be too careful these days.

Beth continued to walk towards the walker, until something clanged, causing the girl to fall over just behind the feasting walker, catching his attention.

She managed to shoot the crossbow as he stood up, but it only flew into its cheek, not managing to do the job.

The two adults ran forward, Daryl yanked the crossbow out of the teenagers grasp, knocking the walker over the head with it as Natalia ran to Beth's aid, she managed to get her foot stuck in a foothold trap.

She tried to figure out what to do, but didn't have a clue to help the girl.

"Daryl." She called to him, who quickly turned around and dropped to the floor to help.

He undid the trap smoothly, pulling it off of Beth.

"Can you move it?" He asked as she tried to roll her ankle around.

"Yeah." Beth hesitated.

"We should wrap it, but we don't have anything, shit." Natalia cursed under her breath.

"Come on. We'll find a place." Daryl decided standing up and helping Beth.

He wrapped a hand around her side as she put an arm around his shoulders, so he could support her, Natalia took the lead, her knife in hand and keeping an eye out for walkers or shelter.

They left the woods, getting to a graveyard.

"Can we " Beth stilled. "Can we hold up a sec?"

Natalia turned around to see what was going on. 

"You alright?" Daryl asked her.

"I just need to sit down." Beth clarified.

Daryl tapped Natalia with his crossbow, gesturing for her to take it, which she did.

"Alright. Hold up." He said, before kneeling down in front of Beth his back to her. "Hop on."

"Are you serious?" Beth asked him.

"Yeah. This is a serious piggyback. Jump up." He told her.

Beth did as she was told, hopping onto his back so that he could carry her the rest of the way.

"You're heavier than you look." He mused. As the two continued to walk.

"Maybe there are people there."

"Yeah, if there are, I'll handle them."

"Or I'll kill them." Natalia shrugged.

"There are still good people, y'know."

"I don't think the good ones survive." Daryl thought out loud.

"Or they live long enough to grow out of it." Natalia added.

They walked past the graves, before Beth jumped down from Daryl's back, stopping in front of one headstone in particular.

Daryl took a step back, bending down to pull at some flowers, before moving towards the headstone and laying them on top.

The headstone was dedicated to a beloving father.

Beth reached out, lacing her fingers with each person who was stood by her side, as they took a moment of silence for the man who was brutally lost.

Eventually, they got their barings and carried on, Beth had hopped back on to Daryl's back.

Natalia reached the door of the tall white house first, pushing it open and banging hard on the wall.

Nothing stirred in the house.

Daryl stepped forward, letting out a sharp whistle.

"Give it a minute." He said.

They entered the quiet house, not seeing signs of anything, but it was remarkably clean and well kept.

"Its so clean." Beth spoke Natalia's thoughts out loud.

"Yeah. Someone's been tending to it." Daryl said, as he looked around, still. "May still be around."

He walked into one room, the other two followed.

It was set up like a funeral, chairs sat In lines, facing an open casket, a body sat inside.

"Not creepy at all." Natalia commented.

Daryl ran his fingers across the mans face, his skin was mushy, and moved with his touch.

They left the room, exploring the house more and found a staircase that went down.

Another room contained dead bodies in suits, but it looked like a work lab.

Daryl went through the cupboards.

"Lets get that ankle wrapped." He told Beth, finding what he needed.

Beth and Natalia were too busy staring at the bodies.

"Looks like somebody ran out of dolls to dress up." Daryl said.

"It's beautiful." Beth corrected.

"It's making my bones itchy." Natalia shivered.

"Whoever did this cared. They wanted these people to get a funeral. They remembered these things were people before all this. They didn't let it change them in the end. Don't you think that's beautiful." Beth asked.

"I don't like to think about it too much." Natalia dismissed, walking back upstairs.

Natalia found the kitchen, rifling through the cupboards, when Daryl and Beth finally made it back upstairs.

"You find anything?" Beth asked.

"Yeah, but I don't know if it's much good, or just proving that whoever lives here is a psychopath." Natalia replied, showing off the full cupboard of; Pigs feet, Peanut butter and Jelly, diet soda.

"That's a white trash brunch right there." Daryl took a jar of Peanut butter.

"It all looks good to me."

"No, hold up." Daryl paused. "Ain't a spec of dust on this.”

"So?"

"That means somebody just put it here."

"And they couldn't of got better stuff?" Natalia asked. "I'm allergic to peanuts."

"Nah, this is someone's stash. Maybe they're still alive." Daryl explained. "Alright, we'll take some of it and we'll leave the rest, all right?"

Beth put a can down, before smiling at Daryl. "I knew it."

"Knew what?" Daryl asked her.

"It's like I said. There are still good people."

Daryl undid a jar of jelly, dipping his fingers in before pouring it into his mouth.

"Gross." Beth moved away, undoing a jar of peanut butter.

"Hey, those pigs feet are mine." Daryl claimed.

"And I'll have... diet soda." Natalia sighed, taking down a bottle.

"Are you seriously allergic to peanuts?" Beth asked, making sure to keep the jar far away, and not contaminate any area's.

"Deadly serious." Natalia blinked. "It's genetic, my dad was too."

"Was your kid allergic?" She asked.

"I'm gonna set up some cans outside, make sure we'll know if anyone comes by." Natalia walked out the room, dodging her question.

Natalia was tying a string full of cans to the banister of the porch, when Daryl stepped outside.

"Hey." He announced his presence.

"I'm almost done." She told him.

"Came to check you were alright."

"Fine." Natalia replied, pushing hair out of her face.

"If she upset you, she didn't mean to."

"No, no, she's good, I'm fine, honest."

"Alright." Daryl, picked at his fingers, finally deciding to come clean after nearly seven months.

"Are you alright?" Natalia asked, finished with her job and wondering why he was still hovering.

"Yeah, I got something for you."

"If it's peanut butter, I wasn't kidding." She pointed at him.

"Nah, but it reminded me of something." He chewed on his thumbnail. "Been holding onto something for a while."

"Uhm, okay?" Natalia said, nervous about where this was going.

Daryl searched one of his pockets, pulling out something.

"Y'know when Judith was born, and we went to that place to get her formula."

"Yeah " The place where she confessed to Daryl about her past. 

He shuffled around before deciding to slap the picture in her hand, waiting for a reaction.

Natalia could read the words on the back, preparing herself to turn it around.

"Why do you have this?" Natalia asked, her voice was small and meek.

"Found it in that kitchen." He confessed.

"But why do you have it?" She repeated her question.

"I thought maybe you'd want it or something."

"You've had this for seven months, why are you only now giving it to me?"

"I was planning on it ages ago, but then after everything, I forgot."

"But its been in your pocket this whole time." She stared at the picture, her finger running over it. "You had no right to have this"

Daryl was thrown off by this.

"Huh?"

"Daryl, there's a reason I didn't take it." She looked at him through her lashes. "I can't believe you."

"I thought you'd want it to remember her."

"You thought wrong. What? You expected me to want to remember that she's been dead for 15 months, that she suffered and was ripped apart by her own father cause I was stupid enough to pick fault in the middle of shit? That she cried and my mind chose to blank it out, cause my mother told me "Don't go to her every time she cries, she'll just get clingy, like I was." I'll never get her back, I'll never forget that night or how, how-" Her voice cracked, she couldn't finish her sentence. "I can't look at this without imagining what she looked like when she..."

"Nat " Daryl went to touch her, but stopped himself.

"I'm sorry." She covered her face, wiping at her eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"S'fine." He shook his head, looking anywhere but at her.

Natalia took a few deep breaths, trying to compose herself.

"Have you still got those matchsticks?" She asked.

"Why?"

"I never let myself mourn her, and I want to burn the picture, as, like, a last send off or something, I don't know, it's stupid."

"Mhmm nah, it ain't stupid" he disagreed, digging around in his pockets for the box of match sticks, handing it to her.

"You can go inside, thank you though, and sorry." She said, climbing over the string of cans to sit on the steps.

Daryl stepped over as well, joining her.

"You were there for me, when Merle... so I'm here for you." He looked at her.

"Okay, whatever." She brushed off, setting the picture down on the ground.

Her hands shook as she pulled a matchstick out, flicking it against the rough side of the box, before hovering it over the corner of the picture and watching it catch the flame and begin to fold from the heat.

Natalia then dug through on of the pockets in her cargos, bringing out a box of cigarettes, placing one between her lips and offering one to Daryl, who took one, before using the still lit matchstick to light his then hers.

"To Winnie." She sighed, inhaling the smoke.

The two sat out there and smoked, whilst watching the photograph of Natalia's past disintegrate, much like the cabin in the woods for Daryl.

Daryl tensed up when the woman leaned her head on his arm, linking hers through his elbow, but refused to let himself think much of it.

Next

[compassionatereminders]

TW: abuse mention, death of family member, grief, gaslighting, victim-blaming

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Hey, I sent in an ask before, and I wanted to say thank you for your advice. I basically have cut off contact with my mom and stepdad (blocked their numbers), but now I am dealing with stuff from the other side of the family. This is more of a vent, but I'd appreciate it if you had any advice.

So, long story short, my dad's wife was abusive to me and my older brother. She and my dad have 2 kids both in their 20's. I told them both their mom was abusive and they did not take it well. That was back in January.

Fast forward to now, my grandma passed away a couple of weeks ago. I went to the hospital before she died. And I went to the funeral. But it's weird because I'm not actually that sad because we barely had a relationship. Everyone else seemed way more sad than me.

Anyway, I got really annoyed and angry just seeing all of them again. They're all dancing around the elephant in the room, which is the truth bomb I spilled.

I also found out my dad cheated on my mom, and I have another sibling. I didn't know that until a few years ago when my mom told me. It's ruined my image of him.

My little half-sister's response to the whole truth telling was, "I'm mad you didn't spend more time with me growing up, I thought you hated me." And I was like, really? They literally moved out of state. What did you want me to do? It's disappointing because I was actually worried she was going through the same thing I was, but I was wrong, I guess.

I had put so much pressure on myself to be a good role model since we almost were like their second parents. I tried to model compassion and kindness, which she is not showing me now. I thought she was like me, but she's much more like her brother and mother (not surprising).

And my little half-brother was just victim-blaming. But he's evil and has been since he was a child. Both the kids are very spoiled and self-absorbed, especially given their responses.

Everyone is letting me down. And I know it's not my fault, but it sure feels like that. Idk, I just feel really lost. And I felt conflicted about blocking everyone because what if it was an emergency? But they don't prioritize my safety at all. And they don't care.

Everyone at the funeral kept asking me how my older brother was, and I was so annoyed. We don't talk, and he also lives out of state. I don't know how many times I have to say it before it gets through.

And I just feel a lot of grief, especially when I saw my dad. And he barely said anything to me at the funeral. It could have been different. They're treating me like an adult now, but they don't know anything about who I actually am. They all want me to be someone I'm not. And I can't do it. Not anymore.

And you don't have to. You don't owe them anything just because you decided to participate in that funeral. I get that it's triggering to have to be confronted with your past and the people in it in this manner, but you absolutely still get to continue on the path you've chosen and to keep your distance as you move forwards from here ❤️

[the-fiction-witch]

Young To Be In Love

Media - Love Actually Character - Sam Couple - Sam X Reader Reader - Y/n Rating - Sweet af Word Count - 2412

I sat down on the bench beside my stepdad, feeling the cold of the winter air seep through my clothes. I let out a deep sigh as we both wrapped our hands around the warm cups of hot chocolate. The steam from the cups rose into the chilly air, adding to the serene atmosphere that surrounded us. The breeze picked up, and the faux fur on the hood of my coat brushed against my skin, making me shiver. I turned my gaze towards the water, watching the little boats pass by while the ripples created by their movement danced across the surface. Across the city, I saw many cranes moving and changing, a testament to the constant development of the city. People walked by us, their footsteps on the brick path, but none of them paid us any attention. We sat in silence for a while, enjoying the peacefulness of the moment, before my stepdad finally spoke.

"So?" He began, "Is it just mum or... is it something else?" he asked, "Maybe school?" he suggested, "Are you being bullied? or... is it something worse?"

I didn't know how to begin so I just looked down at my cup,

"you can't give me any clues?" he asked,

"You really want to know?" I asked,

"I really want to know," he nodded,

"Even if you won't be able to do anything to help?"

"Even if that's the case... yeah."

"Okay," I nodded, "Well... truth is," I began, "Actually... I'm in love,"

"Sorry?" His jaw dropped,

"I know I should be thinking about Mum all the time and I am, but... the truth is I'm in love, I was before she died and there's nothing I can do about it,"

"Aren't you a bit young to be in love?" he laughed,

"No,"

He laughed and tussled my hair, "I'm a little relieved,"

"Why?" I rasied an eyebrow,

"I thought... it would be something worse,"

"Worse than the total agony of being in love?"

He realised I had a point and nodded "You're right... total agony," He said,

We both just sat and watched the water once more, before he spoke again,

"They have a name?" he asked carefully,

"Yes, she does," I told him,

"She okay that narrows it down to half of everyone you've met in your short little life," he chuckled,

"Y/n," I told him,

"Y/n?" he stopped a moment, "You're little friend from down the road? the Y/H/C ?"

"Mhm,"

"I see, And how does she feel about you then?"

"I'm her best friend,"

"Ahhh the friend zone,"

"I know, and no one has ever escaped a friend zone,"

"it is possible."

"It is?"

"It is,"

"...Show me,"

I held my breath but I knew I had to do this, she was leaving soon moving away and I may never see her again, I went over where she stood with her locker unpacking it for the winter break and of course her move.

I was immediately blushing just from her beautiful Y/H/C hair in a sweet green bow, her gentle green eyes, and her sweet pale skin, all I wanted to do was kiss her and tell her everything I had ever wanted to tell her.

"Uhh Y/n?" I coughed,

"ohh? Hi Sam!" She smiled,

"I uhh... so you're really going then?"

"Mhm," She nodded,

"I uhh I... I really wanted to give you something, before you go."

"Oh?"

"Here," I smiled offering her the small Y/H/C glittery bag,

"Awww Sam you didn't have to get me anything,"

"Well I wanted to, a little going away present and all." I blushed,

She took it and smiled, "Can I open it?"

"Yeah yeah of course," I nodded,

She giggled and happily opened up the little bag, and the box inside her face lit up and I felt even more nervous, "Awww Sam! it's beautiful," She pulled out the sweet little hair comb, it wasn't much but it's not like I had much money. "Thank you!" She giggled taking her bow out and adding the clip to her hair, "I love it so much! Thank you!"

"You're welcome, I uhh I really wanted to get you something special, given your moving so far away, I-" I began, "I'm really gonna miss you, Y/n,"

"I know, I'm gonna miss you too Sam,"

"I- Y/n."

"Yes, Sam?"

"... I love you,"

"What?"

"I love you, I know you think that sounds crazy but I... I do. I know I do. I love you. I have done it for years and I... it breaks my heart that you are leaving,"

"Ohh... Ohh Sam," she cried hugging me tightly so I squeezed her tight rarely wanting to let her go, "I love you too!"

"y- you do!"

"I do, I thought you knew,"

"NO! I had no idea! I- I can't believe this... we finally tell each other and... we'll never get to see each other again,"

"Sam I will be coming back," She pulled away both of our cheeks tear-stained,"

"What?" I asked,

"Yeah, me and my mum are moving but my dad is staying here, same as my grandparents and all the rest of my family, I'll be coming back to visit every so often,"

"You- You will! So I'll still get to see you!"

"Just not as often, and I'm sure in between we can chat and call and video chat."

"Yeah! Of course, we can!" I smiled, "So maybe do you think we could... Do you know? try to be more than just best friends?"

"I think we can try," she nodded giving my cheek a kiss that made my heart flutter,

I washed my hands up after finishing the work in the garden, giving them a good scrub before I grabbed my ring from the sink, I always like keeping it in here when I'm working in the garden I'm always worried digging around in the dirt and grass would make it all dirty, plus I don't want to lose it. Just the feeling of it back on my finger makes me so happy, I remember the first time I wore it just felt... right, Everyone thought we were crazy to get married at eighteen, they all said it was too fast and that we'd regret it in a week, a month, a year, ten years, but we had been in love for as long as we could remember so to us we'd already waited ten years to get married and here we are twelve years later still as in love as ever. I adjusted the ring a little and put my hand through my hair giving the hair on my upper lip a slight stroke where it needed trimming but I couldn't find the little scissors anywhere.

I headed out of the bathroom back into the house where I saw her and Immediately I got as giddy as a child, as she stood in her little green dress washing some dishes, her sweet Y/H/C hair flowing down her back with one of her hair combs in her hair as always. I had brought her a new hair comb every year as our little tradition and she wears one every day. I went over wrapping my arms around her and kissing her sweet shoulder,

"Ohh Hello Sam,"

"Hello Y/n, I missed you," I cooed,

"You were only in the garden Sam," she laughs,

"I still missed you," I peppered her with kisses,

"Aww I missed you too," she smiled, "Kids are home by the way,"

"I know, I heard the bus."

"Ohh and he got home in a mood again,"

"Jake or Lucas?"

"Who do you think," she laughed,

"Oh? Right, I'm going," I rolled my eyes a little giving her one more kiss and heading to the stairs, "Is Mable alright as I'm going up?"

"She's fine, won't need a feed for another hour,"

"Alright, what's up with Jake anyway?"

"He's got the love bug,"

"The- the what?"

"You know the love bug like you and I did,"

"Wait! he's in love!"

"Yes, did I not just say that," she laughs,

"Awwwww! it's happening! our little ones are falling in love just like we did!" I wanted to cry I was so happy, "Okay I can do this! I was trained by the best but not the student is the teacher. I shall comfort my son and teach him the ways of love as my stepfather did to me! I need hot chocolate and a view of the themes," I bolted upstairs,

"B- Sam It's July!" Y/n yelled, "And we live in Norfolk!"

But I ignored her and ran up anyway, seeing the upstairs bedrooms open but one, Of course, Y/n and I's bedroom door was open our bed was made as usual but I looked and saw Lucas, honestly I almost missed him, as he laid his four-year-old body among the large pile of teddies in the corner of our bedroom he laid in them with his book about owls, his blonde hair fluffy and messy still in his school uniform with his glasses slowly falling down his nose.

"Hey, you having fun?" I chuckled,

"Jake is being grumpy," he said,

"I know I'm going to see him now, I'm make sure he lets you back in your bedroom," I told him before I headed down the corridor, to see the girl's room, Mable lay still asleep in her crib with her dummy given she is still a baby after all only nine months old her, while Sallyanne's six-year-old body sat with her castle playing with her dolls, her Y/H/C hair in a braid down her back also still in her school uniform as she plaid so I didn't bother her. The bathroom door opened but of course, it was empty. So I went to the boy's bedroom where the door was closed I gave the door a tap and Jake answered,

"Go away!"

"Jake come on, let's just have a little talk," I told him,

"Fine!" He sighed,

So I went inside seeing the space-covered walls and Jake laid his ten-year-old body on his bed still in his school uniform with his mess of blonde hair sticking out his covers, so I went and sat with him,

"So? How's school?"

"Fine."

"Is everything going okay?"

"Yes."

"You're not being bullied?"

"No Dad."

"Okay, so it's something worse?"

"Kinda..."

"You can't give me any clues?"

"You really want to know?" he poked his head out,

"I really want to know," I nodded,

"Even if you won't be able to do anything to help?"

"Yes, even if that is the case," I smiled resting a hand on his back, "So? Come on,"

"Well... I- I think I'm in love," he said, "I know what you're going to Say! I'm too young I don't know what I want! that I'm just young and stupid! that I'm too young to be in love but... I can't help it. I'm in love and it's agony."

I nodded, "There is nothing worse than the total agony of being in love," I smiled tussling his hair, "I would know,"

"No you don't you have mum, and you and mum are perfect and always have been," he sits up,

"No, we haven't always been perfect, you're mother and I have had our ups and downs we've been married a long time. But I do know the total agony of being in love, I had a chat like this with my stepdad when I was not much older than you, and I said the same thing,"

"You did?"

"I did, You're not crazy and I'm not going to tell you you're too young or you don't know becuase... I know firsthand hand when you find that person, it changes everything. I knew I loved your mother the first moment I saw her and I was much younger than you then, I didn't know I loved her till I was about your age. Love doesn't have an age when he comes, it just comes. And there is nothing you can do about Jake. I won't tell you it's not agony or it won't hurt becuase love does, love is so powerful and so strong that it can destroy you in a moment." I explained, "If you feel like you are in love then you have every right to feel those emotions,"

"Thanks, Dad,"

"You're welcome kiddo," I smiled, "So? They have a name?"

"... it's complicated,"

"Oh? how so? it is that kid in your class that's named after a fruit?"

"No, no not them,"

"Ohh well, then what is it? come on I'd love to know if they have a name?"

"... His name is Harry,"

Hu... well that took me back a moment,

"His name is Harry?" I asked making sure I heard him right,

"Yeah, Please don't be mad,"

"...what- why- why would I be mad?"

"That I'm... in love... with a boy,"

"Jake." I told him holding his hand so I knew he was listening to me, "I don't care who you love,"

"But- aren't you gonna tell me I'm too young, that I can't know yet, that -"

Jake. If you are in love with I do not doubt for a moment, then you're in love. Boy, girl or whoever. I don't care. your mother won't care. none of your family will care. All that matters is that you are happy and if you love his boy then we're here to support you and to help you."

"You really mean that?"

"Of course I do,"

He gave me a tight hug so I hugged him back, "Thanks dad,"

"You're welcome kiddo," I smiled, "Now I admit... I may be slightly less helpful, as it is not something I have experience with but I promise your mother and I will be here every step of the way,"

"Thanks," he smiled,

"Good, now. let your brother back in you two's room. And we're gonna have a take away pizza for tea,"

"Okay," he smiled,

"Good lad," I tussled his hair,

Before I got up and headed downstairs back to Y/n,

"How'd it go?"

"You're right, love bug."

"Awww our little boy's in love," she smiled,

"Take away pizza for dinner," I told her,

"Ohh... alright means I don't have to cook" she shrugged, "But what do we know about this love of Jake's then?" she asked drying her hands as she was not finished with the dishes,

"Not much, his name's Harry," I said as I grabbed a beer from the fridge,

"Harry?" she turned to me,

"Yep."

"His. name?"

"Yep."

"Oh..." she said slightly taken aback, "Awww cute, Harry and Jake, very sweet." she smiled, "does he want to invite him over for tea this week?"

"I'll ask him later," I shrug, "You know he was worried we'd be mad,"

"Mad? Oh, that's just silly, still, I suppose weren't you worried your stepdad would be mad when you told him you loved me?"

"Yeah kinda, Still he's smiling again and he's let Lucas back in their bedroom.

"Ahh! Now that is good news." she laughed, 

[ladyyatexel]

Incidentally I trained my parents out of giving that kind of non-advice after I decided I was just going to openly have mental illness and Trauma around them. It became too exhausting to pretend otherwise. I wanted them to understand and continue to like me even if I was actually weirder than they thought. And I also just thought it would be more productive if they actually learned how to deal with people who aren't perfectly well adjusted.

I thought maybe they could also use a dose of realizing that people who are not well adjusted included someone they had had a hand in raising.

But anyway I trained them out of "You just have to not let that upset you," by responding with, " I am already upset/worried/ scared/ thinking about the thing. I am already beyond the point of preventing it."

Literally absolutely every time they told me just to not let it upset me I told me that well it already had and that's why I was talking about it. And then they would just kind of get quiet and you could hear them kind of rewiring their thought patterns around this kind of advice giving.

I don't know whether it has reshaped their approach to this with anyone else or if they have just decided that I have become thorny in this regard and should therefore be dodged but either way they no longer suggest this.

And now when they complain about people at their jobs who seem to be exhibiting symptoms like mine, I just bring it up. Like hey maybe Debra is upset because she has an anxiety disorder. Maybe that person in front of you in traffic is unfamiliar with the area or really nervous or got in an accident recently and that's why they are going slow. I hope it makes them more thoughtful to consider other people through the lens of potentially having some of the shit that I have.

As a disclaimer, my mom and my step dad are on the whole really loving people and they have both made a lot of effort to understand me now that I've stopped making the effort to pretend that I'm normal. My dad and stepmother were the actively abusive people, but my mom and stepdad both seem to have come from really emotionally stunted families also so it's me and my brain worms making people confront stuff.

Weirdly enough I think that this combined with me having been disabled for 2 years really did a lot for the way we all relate to each other. I can hear in my mom's voice that she is physically restraining herself from questioning every decision that I make but I really appreciate that she listened when I told her that it upset me to be questioned and grilled about everything I did.

Either way they don't tell me just to not let it bother me anymore.

So if you're in a position to do it I recommend just telling people "well I'm already upset or worried or thinking about it" and see if that changes anything for you. You might make some gears turn a little bit if nothing else.

[elderemorune]

Self-Care and the Act of Healing

So it likely comes as no surprise to anyone who comes across this tiny Internet hovel I've squirreled away in that I don't have the greatest relationship with my mental health. Some days we're great, but that's not a very common occurrence for me. Most often we're on neutral ground, not shooting each other but uh, if negotiations don't go well, who knows?

For months now, I've been in that weird neutral standoff that's bordering on a firefight with myself.

I've blamed a lot of it on my parents. I mean, it's easy, right? They taught me to be the way I am, and that's why I'm so damn miserable. They taught me to sacrifice as much of myself as possible to keep everyone around me happy. Walk on eggshells around your dad or he'll scream at you. Do what dad asks or he'll beat you. Accept whatever punishment you're given because you're a bad child, even if we know your sister lied to us just to get you in trouble.

And that shit's hard to let go of.

Almost two years ago, my father apologized to me for being a bad dad. He was in therapy then, and doing the work. Part of his work was to be generous and kind with no expectations tied to those two things, or at least that's what he said. So he signed onto a loan with my wife and I for a car. At the time, I told him I was willing to forgive him if he kept doing the work his therapist told him he needed to do.

My mom's never apologized to me directly for not being present or even really trying to keep me safe from dad. As far as she's concerned, she did her best. She taught me to be cautious, anxious, to anticipate dad's needs and to apologize frequently even if I didn't do anything wrong. This was her way of protecting me, was giving me this Atlas complex, this need to take care of everyone and everything before ever even thinking about taking care of myself.

And honestly, I'm not sure what the bigger disservice was.

But does blame even have to be levied against them?

It's a difficult concept, just allowing them to be people. I used to think my dad was a hero, and that my mom was the greatest because at least I had a home and clothes and food, which is more than many of my friends had. At least I wasn't dealing with the kinds of things my wife was, with a stepmom who hated her, a mom and dad who both didn't want to be parents, and a racist stepdad, all tossing her back and forth between houses because none of them could be responsible adults.

But that's the bare fucking minimum, isn't it?

Parents are supposed to take care of their kids. They're supposed to clothe, feed, and house them, to nurture them until it's time to go be grownups. I mean, obviously in addition to that, parents find new and fascinating ways to fuck their kids up, but that's an inevitability of existence too.

I think what I'm getting at is that I don't blame my parents for me dealing with this shit now, but goddamn does it suck, and I'm sorry they couldn't help me more.

I've made some decisions about my life recently, big ones, about who I want to be and where I want to go and what I want to do, and a huge part of that process was deciding who I can have in my life. I can't have my folks around anymore. I can't deal with the negativity, the judgement, the constant "are you sure?". I just don't think I can keep them in my life for all that much longer.

[ch4p3lofbl00d]

I guess he isn't so bad after all~Justin Morrow

Language warning and mentions of drugs ⚠️

Y/N Pov:

I'm currently getting ready for school. Also, known as the worse day of my life. Today, my stepdad, Justin, will be taking me to school.

I hate him. All thanks to him, he got my mom pregnant again and now I have a little sister. He acts like he's my father; he will never be my father. My father left when I was born. He hated my mom and hated me even more.

I felt tears threatening to spill out of my eyes; j quickly wiped them away and put on some eyeliner to make myself look decent.

I had to be at school in an hour; I'm hoping that my mom would take me if she didn't have any meetings or had to take Mia to an appointment, but no. Justin has been taking me lately because my mom wants us to get along. I told her a thousand times that I hated him, but she keeps trying.

I sighed, and sat down on my bed. My school is questionable. Most of the teachers smell like weed and people fuck in the bathrooms.

It's honestly disgusting. On the first day of school, I walked in on two people fucking and it's not like I haven't heard it before, but on the first day of school, really?!

My mom and Justin fuck sometimes. I don't think they know that I have heard them before, but I have. Whenever they start doing that nasty shit, I always put in my headphones and blast In This Moment.

I rolled my eyes, and heard little footsteps enter my room. I looked towards my door and saw Mia, standing there, smiling at me.

I sighed, and heard her little voice say "mama needs you" I got up, and threw on my black zip up hoodie and threw my backpack over my shoulder.

I walked downstairs, and saw Justin and Shae, my mom, standing there. "What do you want" I rolled my eyes, and heard my mom say "stop having an attitude with me and Justin is going to take you to school today"

I rolled my eyes so far that they might have rolled into the back of my head at this point "Why the fuck is he taking me to school again?" I was pissed, I didn't want him to take me to school anymore.

"Y/N! No cussing in front of Mia and Justin is going to take you to school if you like it or not" I rolled my eyes and flipped them both off, and walked out to the car.

I turned on In This Moment and crossed my arms as Justin pulled into the school parking lot. I unbuckled my seat belt, and heard him say "have a good day at school Y/N"

I got out of the car, and slammed the door shut and yelled "SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE. YOU AREN'T MY FATHER AND YOU NEVER WILL BE. MAYBE YOU MARRIED MY MOM AND GOT HER PREGNANT, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU ARE MY DAD OKAY"

I walked into school, pissed the fuck off. There was no one in the halls, so that means, I'm late as usual. Well fuck, I'm going back home.

I walked back home, and went inside and slammed the door and saw Justin's band mates there and the one who I'm secretly dating, Ricky Olson.

Ricky was my age, 17, but Chris still let him join the band because he was the best guitarist that they have seen.

I gave him a quick smile, and went upstairs or well tried to at least, until Justin asked "why are you home from school?"

I rolled my eyes, and said "because I left" I saw Justin shake his head, and say "why did you leave"

I scoffed, and said "because I wanted to. It's not like you would even care" after that, I ran upstairs to my room, and laid down on my bed.

I saw my door open, and saw Ricky walk in and sat down on my bed next to me. I looked at him, and saw him smile at me and say "you should give Justin a chance. He cares a lot about you, baby. Trust me, I know"

I hugged him, tightly, and whispered "okay, but I'm only doing it for you and you only" I heard Ricky chuckle, and kiss me and I kissed him back.

We eventually went back downstairs, and I hugged Justin and apologized to him. I guess, he's not so bad.

Thank you for reading! :) 🫶🏻

[ollieollieoxenfree-483]

One of my favorite things about being alive (still being alive, continuing to live) is how much love my mother has for me.

I've been sick for the past few days; shivers, cold flashes, a migraine, bad sinuses, a fever, etc.

I had to drive home from work with those symptoms at 10:30 to 11:00 at night, and both of my parents stayed up for me (I told them before when I was on break that I wasn't feeling good). My mom suggested that I take a shower to cool down (I had a fever of over 100 at this point).

Then next morning (as in today, when I am writing this) she offered to go to the store for me (she asked what I wanted (a can of tomato soup and some Gatorade), and I thought she was going to get me one of each. She got me 2 cans of tomato soup, 2 bottles of Gatorade (the big 29 oz ones), and both DayQuil and NyQuil (as we only had NyQuil).

I've been sleeping the majority of the day (I napped for almost 5 hours, which I have never done before) and since today is Mother's Day, my stepdad made her a cake. I gave her a card and cherry twizzler bites (as she loves red candy), and had a very small slice of cake. (I'm also planning on taking her on a mother-daughter date, like we used to do)

I might be feeling shitty but I will always take time to let my momma know how much I appreciate what she does and how much I love her, especially today.

[scheodingers-muppet]

Welcome back to "Jace has Stranger Things and Taylor Swift brainrot." On today's episode: Red. I'm going kinda out of order, but I honestly think I'll end up doing every album so if you want to see a specific album, let me know

State of Grace: Steddie. "I never saw you coming" "You were never a saint, and I've loved in shades of wrong" They both can be mean and tough, but they were so soft around each other almost immediately

Red: Stancy, from Steve's POV. The relationship was honestly toxic, but it was filled with adrenaline and most likely Steve's first real love. Losing her was hard, since he loved her so strongly. I'm also a "Steve's emotions are too big for his body" person so I might be projecting

Treacherous: Lumax. Max grew up without a strong sense of what a healthy relationship should look like. Her stepdad sucked and was likely awful to her Mom. She's scared of what love and letting people in her bubble mean. Then you add the fact Billy straight up told her to avoid Lucas but she couldn't resist. Then Lucas warning her that getting involved with him could be dangerous. It's not safe on paper, but she loves him

I Knew You Were Trouble: Stancy, from Steve's side. I promise not all the breakup songs will be Stancy. But the line "the saddest fear comes creeping in that you never loved me, or her, or anyone" paired with the fight, her inability to tell Steve she loves him, the strain with Jonathan in season 4. It just fits so well

All Too Well: Mike and El. "Any time now, he's gonna say it's love. You never called it what it was, til we were dead and gone and buried, checked the pulse and come back swearing it's the same." "You kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath" and Mike literally keeping her a secret at first. "I'm a crumbled up piece of paper" as an analogy to the letters. "Maybe we got lost in translation" and El feeling like she isn't even the same species as Mike. "The idea you had of me, who was she? A never-needy ever, lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you" Need I continue?

22: Season 3 Elmax at the mall. Just being teenage girls, the way they deserve. Also, imagine them having a sleepover, dancing around screaming this song while Hopper's at work one night. Adorable

I Almost Do: Jopper. I think the idea that Joyce waited for Hopper, for him to mature or whatever it was, and finally had to stop waiting. It tore them both apart, but I think Joyce would have had a similar reaction to this song; through Lonnie (or however you spell his name), Bob. Everything

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: Lumax. My on-again-off-again OTP. Another big slumber party song. They will get back together though, let's be honest

Stay Stay Stay: Platonic Stobbin. I just know Robin would be horrible in an actual fight, she'd get so ready for someone to leave and just snap at them. Steve would try to make her laugh once they sit down to talk it out to relieve the tension. In Steve's eyes, everyone he loves leaves, but Robin stays

The Last Time: Byler. Will has had to beg Mike to give him some attention lately, like in season 4 with the letter fight. "The is the last time I'm asking you this, put my name at the top of your list" "You break my heart in the blink of an eye" "This is the last time I say it's been you all along"

Holy Ground: Platonic Stancy. Like, they've both moved on and have each other as friends in their lives. I love the idea of Steddie and Ronance, with Steve and Nancy dancing together at their weddings

Sad Beautiful Tragic: Jancy. They only started hanging out because of tragedies. Their relationship has only existed because of horrible things, but they found beauty in it. "Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting" and "Could you just try to listen?" with the fight in season 3 and them living on opposite sides of the country in season 4.

The Lucky One: Steve. "You had it figured out since you were in school, everybody loves pretty, everybody loves cool" Everyone is quick to tell him he's got it good since he has a rich family and was Mr. Popular, but he's lonely. "Your lover in the foyer doesn't even know you." "You don't feel pretty, you just feel used" "You wonder if you'll make it out alive"

Everything Has Changed: Lumax!! "All I've seen since 18 hours ago is green eyes, and freckles and your smile in the back of my mind" "All I know is a simple name and everything as changed" from Lucas's pov. "All my walls stood tall, painted blue but I'll take 'em down and open up the door for you" "All I know is a new found grace. All my days, I'll know your face" from Max

Starlight: Robin. I think Robin would love space and the stars. We know she loves music, and I think she'd like to dance too. Also the line "worrying so much about things you can't change. You'll spend your whole life singing the blues if you keep thinking that way" fits her so well. And the line "He's talking crazy, dancing with me. We could get married, have ten kids and teach them how to dream" reads to me as Robin playfully joking about Steve's old crush on her, and I think the two of them would totally hang out on Robin's prom night, but Steve would still make her dance because everyone deserves an awkward prom slow dance

Begin Again: Max, not necessarily about a relationship though. This song makes me think of Max's damaged relationship with men and the party helping her heal that. Billy was abusive, her stepdad sucked. We see Steve be that protective figure where Billy was the opposite. Hopper would totally also take her under his wing and show her what a father figure should be. The boys in the party treat her as an equal. They think she's fierce and funny and beautiful, but they treat her as a person too. She's not used to that; the men in her life haven't been good to her. But they're showing her how worthy she is

The Moment I Knew: Byler. I love Mike, but he's severely dropped the ball for Will. Will was so excited to see him in season 4, but he's hardly paying attention to him before everything happens. Add the fact that season 4 should have been over Will's birthday

Come Back... Be Here: Steddie. "I told myself don't get attached." "I don't want to miss you like this" "If I had known what I'd known now, I never would've played so nonchalant" "I can't help but wish you took me with you" "This is falling in love in the cruelest way" "This is falling for you and you are worlds away"

Girl At Home: Honestly, Murray. Why? I Don't know. But it's him.

Ronan: Hopper (I'm sorry) I think we often forget he lost his daughter, and not only that, he blames himself. The little memories we see show how much he loved her.

Better Man: Max about Billy. She wanted to love him but he was so horrible to her and we see in season 4 how she does miss him. "Talking down to me like I'd always be around, push my love away like it was some kind of loaded gun" "I wish it wasn't 4 am standing in the mirror saying 'you know you had to it' I know the bravest thing I ever did was wrong"

Nothing New: Nancy. "Girls go out and have your fun' then they hunt and slay the ones who actually do it" Nancy tried to be a teenage girl and lost her best friend, blames herself for it, got slutshammed to the whole town, and became a monster hunter. She deals with the most sexism, both from other characters and the fandom. "what will become of me once I lost my novelty" "how can a person know everything at 18 and nothing at 22?" "She'll know the way and then she'll say she got the map from me" about Holly or Erica, and feeling so conflicted because these girls look up to her but she feels like a mess who shouldn't be a goal to reach. Especially for Erica, since she got roped into the Upside Down stuff so young.

The other vault songs don't really match in my opinion, so this is all for today

[genekies]

vent abt dad stuff

My mom is out for the night, and my sister and her husband just left, so I talked with my stepdad for a bit.

He thinks I don't understand the real world, and I'm too idealistic and unrealistic when it comes to my future. We talked about my future, and I want to work with art, music, or something like that. I gave good examples of what jobs I could get, like working at the event center at the casino in town or at the craft store.

But he still thinks I need to find a better job, the ones I told him about do pay well though, he ended up going to bed shortly after my sister left. Even though he was making fun of her for going to bed at 8pm but he did the same at 8:30pm

I know that he loves me and cares about me, but I just felt like he brushed me off. Like in the recent past, he's let it slip that even though parents say they don't have a favorite, they do, and I was his. But I still feel ignored.

My sister, him, and I were talking tonight about him adopting us even though we are both over 18 but you can do that in my state, he wants to and has wanted to adopt us since we were little but I just still feel ignored like I did with my biological father. I don't know, I'm thinking a lot. Too much, probably.

[girltomboy]

Idk if I already posted about this, but my stepdad is going to have his surgery this week, and my mom will be staying with me for a few days. I'm both excited and kind of mortified to have her in my very private space. I only have 1 bedroom and nothing else. I spent my weekend cleaning and putting things away, I'm not anywhere near being done done, but I realized I don't have to make anything perfect and sterile. I also took some days off to be able to guide her around the city, visit my stepdad in the hospital, etc.

This timing could not have been any better, cause I'm having another fight with my bf and he's being stubborn and cowardly again. I might just tell her everything and agree when she begs me to break up with him. He wants to postpone his move to December because rent is too high and he thinks the prices will go down then. Like why on earth would they?? I mean I don't disagree with prices being absurdly high, but you already knew that. He hasn't even told me how much money he has saved up, and his mom alluded to him having no money, sooooo idk what conclusion to draw. And I'm like ok what's a few more months? Just two more months it's not that bad. But on the other hand how many years have I been waiting for him to make an independent decision? And he's still letting himself get swayed by his folks (they were the ones who convinced him to wait 🤡 like are you BLIND they don't ever want you to go. They literally want you to stay there forever and bring me with you as well). Not to mention he still has a degree to finish, if he waits until December it will literally be just two more wasted months. No job, no college, no move, nothing but stasis. And that pisses me off immensely, because he is more committed to being lazy and ambitionless than he is to anything else on the planet. He just gladly accepted their suggestion to wait because he's happy doing absolutely nothing. And he will have exams in January, like if you move and probably (hopefully ig) get a job in December, in January you'll already have to maybe take some time off to study and take your exams while also learning a whole new job, like he hasn't thought anything about this through at all and that shit annoys me beyond words. Because someone else has to think for him at all times. Make plans, think things through. He didn't even know what to say on the phone to the landlords he spoke to. He almost scheduled a "viewing" for this week JUST TO LOOK at a place, like why do you have to look at it, there's pictures. Viewings are for people who already live here and CAN go to look at it. Going on an 8 hour train ride to a city where you can't stay anywhere just to see an apartment is fucking stupid!!!! And I genuinely cannot believe he had to be told that!! And he's the one who always makes a huge deal about how much he's looking forward to seeing me again and moving here to be with me, but he's literally all talk because when it comes to actually doing something to materialize that intention it's fucking crickets.