#my spouse sat me down to watch this part of the podcast because I’m From New Jersey

[saltyfilmmajor]

They don’t know the cultural nuance about North Jersey and South Jersey

[jamlally]

Baby it’s cold outside

This was written for the 25 days of Christmas Challenge that is hosted by  @panicfob .  The Day 10 Challenge prompt was Snow Storm

Warnings: Fluff and suggestions of sex

Pairing: Tony Stark x OFC (Belle Porter),

Summary:Tony has a surprise for Belle and the weather has a surprise for them both

Being woken up in the early hours wasn’t common place but it also wasn’t entirely unusual.  Belle had spent the night in her own apartment for a change as Tony had been hung up on some project that kept him up late and had him coming to bed in the early hours.  No matter how quiet he tried to be she would still wake up when he came back to his apartment and when he did manage to fall asleep it wasn’t restful.  Belle needed one nights solid rest so they had agreed that she would sleep in her own bed for the night, and then they would go back to her staying in his room.

It hadn’t been long since things had moved on to the more physical level between the,, but Belle found that she had missed his warmth and his smell when she tried settle own to sleep. After an hour of tossing and turning she had wrapped herself up in a blanket and headed up to Tony’s apartment, stolen a hoodie that replaced the blanket and headed back to her own bed,  Surrounded in his musky amber scent sleep had come more easily - week right up until the lights in her apartment had turned on and the man himself was shaking her shoulder

“Snowflake, hey come on baby rise and shine”

“Tony?” She was confused and groggy “What time is it?”

“Oh its’ early, maybe 4 but I have a surprise for you”. He was crouched down at her level, eyes looking tired but full of life

“Couldn’t it wait until a little later my love ?” Tired as she was she returned his grin with her own sleepy smile “You could join me in here”

“Mmmmm as tempting as that is I  don’t want to spoilt the surprise” He ran his hands under the covers one skimming up her leg while the other found her waist ‘Is that my hoodie I feel.  Was my girl missing me?”

Belle blushed a little “No I think you’ll find I’m wearing it so its mine.” Tony chuckled “Fair enough.  Now up you get, put on something warm, and meet mean the garage in 5” A quick hint of a kiss and he was off  leaving Belle grumbling as she went to freshen up.

Bundled up in a warm jacket, jeans and numerous other layers Belle made her way to the garage to find Tony, who was stood leaning against one of the larger SUV’s cup of what she guessed was coffee in one hand and his ever present phone in the other

“There’s my girl, hop on in.  I put coffee in there for you”  She got another quick kiss on the way passed and then she was settled into the passenger seat coffee in one hand, her other resting on Tony’s thigh.  Content with drinking her coffee and watching the world fly by Belle simply enjoyed the quiet.  About 30 minutes in she realized that other than out of the city she had no idea of where they were going 

“OK so it’s 5am and we are out of the city, so do you want to tell me where we are going?”

“Hmm nice of you to ask but no, that would spoil the surprise”

“Ok and why are we having this surprise? Is this like Natasha’s gift?”

“Ohh now there’s an interesting idea but no.  I know that I’ve been busy and it probably feels like I’ve been ignoring you.  In fact I probably have been a bit.  When I get into my head sometimes I loose track of things and I need to just get things don.  It makes me hard to be around and …look I know I’m a pain in the ass most of the time, but I need you to know that even when I get caught up I miss you”

“Tony, that’s not something you need to worry about.  I understand that’s the way you work and I accept that - it’s a part of who you are”

“You say that now but some day it’ll get annoying and then we will fight, and trust me, based on passed experience it won’t end well”

Belle sighed “Is this because of where I slept?  If it is we tased about that Tony.  We both needed uninterrupted rest.  You wake me when you get I and I wake you when I go out.  It was just a night.  Hell I count even sleep without your hoodie”

“I dint want to take any chances so we’re having a surprise.  Now why don’t you settle down find us something to listen to and enjoy the drive”

Tabling the conversation for the moment Belle picked up Tonys phone and scrolled through it finding some podcast that sounded interesting putting it on for them both to listen to.  Settling back she watched as the miles passed by.

Two hours into the drive Belle suddenly sat up looking at the signs in more detail and paying more attention to her surroundings.  

“Tony are we heading to the Catskills?” She asked more than a little excited 

She got a grin in answer and Belle found herself bouncing a little e in her seat in excitement

The cabin they pulled up to was beautiful, set amongst the trees, warm lights already spilling out the windows.  Belle looked between Tony and the cabin until he nodded, then she jumped out the SUV and headed up to the door.  It was colder than she imagined it would be outside and the air smelled crisp and almost sharp.  

“Come on slow poke - I want to look inside” she called back to Tony, the excitement clear in her voice.  

‘Put your thumb on the reader and the door will unlock” he called. Back moving to the trunk

“Of course it will” Belle muttered to herself,  She wasn’t sure she would ever get used to the amount of tech that surrounded her.  Sure enough the door opened and she walked into a stunning log cabin. The hallway branched off into a living room, dining area and kitchen and what looked like possibly a bathroom, while a set of stairs lead, she guessed up to at least one bedroom.

The click of the door alerted her to Tony’s presence.  Im going to light a fire and get the stove working, why don’t you take our bags upstairs to the room.  Turning Belle was surprised to see Tony had 2 small duffles with him 

“Now how on earth did you manage to get a bag packed for me ?”

Tony just grinned “Thats my secret.  Now chop chop we have relaxing to be doing so off you go”

The upper level gad a couple of bedrooms and a bathroom, Belle picked the room with an en suite and put the bags at the foot of the the bed.  Checking the bags he found one filled with new bottles of her toiletries and a pile of casual clothes, most of which looked to be hers though there seemed to be a couple of new sweaters.  Smiling she pulled out a loose charcoal grey one that she definitely hadn’t seen before.  It felt wonderfully soft and when she pulled it on she felt content.

“So not that I’m complaining, because this is wonderful, but why did we have to leave so early to com here”

“Well I had this all kind of planned but then the weather looked like it might not cooperate so I figured that we would just move the plans up a little bit. Ohh and can I just sy that who ever picked that sweater has excellent taste, it looks wonderful on you”

Belle moved up to Tony sliding her arms around his neck “MmmmHmmm not only does it look good but it feels wonderful too.  It’s from my man on the side, he has wonderful taste”

Man on the side huh.  Well he better watch out, I’m not a man that likes go share” Tony dropped his voice to something that was closer a growl before nipping at Belle’s neck.  Belle giggled and moved in closer.

“Seriously though Tony, thank you for this, it’s a wonderful idea”

“So my plan was to make some breakfast and some coffee, maybe sit in here and read, and maybe do some other things too” queue eyebrow wiggle

“Now that sounds like an idea, how about I go get started in the kitchen, see what food we have and you can start on the coffee”  Belle knew that if Tony had picked the coffee maker then he would probably be the only one who could work out how to get the damn this to brew.

They worked in companionable silence, steeling occasional kisses, and touches as they pulled together food before eventually retiring back to the loving room, coffee cups refilled, ready to relax.  Tony had produced books from another bag and the pair snuggled on the sofa to read.

“So I did some research and there is supposed to be an amazing hiking trail not far from here,  I thought we could pack a lunch and head out for a bit seeing as the weather is still good” Tony broke the silence, causing Belle to blink a little sleepily,  She hadn’t been asleep but, she wasn’t that far from a quick doze.

“That sounds good, i'll freshen up and then we can head out?” 

“No rush baby”

It.turns out that there was a reason to rush. They had found the trail easily enough and it was nice and clear making it easy to follow.  There had been an epic view about an hour in and they had stopped to have lunch, before heading off again. Another 10 minutes in and the wind suddenly picked but, and it was sharp and cold.  Tony had checked in with FRIDAY and had quickly turned them round to head back, but it turned out that they couldn’t outrun the weather.  About half way back the wind had brought snow with it and it fell faster than Belle had ever seen.  The ground grew slippery and the snow started to settle.  

“You said the weather was going stay good”. Belle  squealed as she slipped her way around the last corner before the cabin would come into sight

“Actually I said that the weather had stayed good, but regardless I probably should have checked” Tony called back raising hi spouse to be heard over the wind. “I didn’t think that the weather would come in that fast” 

Belle gave laugh  holding out her hand for him to grab “ Me either, come on if we hurry we will get back before it gets much worse”

Tony wrapped his hand around hers letting Belle tug him closer laughing at just how crazy the situation was .  The lights of the cabin were a beacon to the pair and they sped up as soon as their target was in site. Tony fumbled with his gloves to get his hand out to unblock to door and Belle shuffled trying to keep warm, her teach chattering 

“Ok Snowdrop in you go” Tony pulled her forward into the still cozy living room before slipping in and pushing the door closed.  The wind was rattling and whistling and the light was dimming as the storm hit full force.

“Ok Snowflake strip and then it’s off to the shower to get warm. Tony was already shedding his jacket and boots and leaving them by the door.  

Belle fumbled with zippers and laces as she freed herself from the layers, teeth chattering she took Tony’s hand “I think I need to help to make sure that all of me gets warmed up”

“As my lady wishes” Tony puled her back to rest against his front, causing Belle to squeal when his cold nose pressed against her shoulder

The shower was more than big enough for the two of them and the rainfall shower head meant they were doused in hot water in seconds.  Hands ran over bodies, lips touched and sucked on flesh and moans filled the steamy air.  

Lying in bed arms wrapped around each other, breathing returning to normal Belle couldn’t believe how relaxed and safe she felt. The weather was wild with the wind screaming but she felt untouchable, wrapped in the cocoon of the man that she had realized she quite probably loved.  She wasn’t sure if he felt the same, and she was damned sure that she wasn’t ready to tell him, but in her heart the knew that the truth was there.

When Belle next opened her eyes, the light from the bathroom was the only thing that let her see anything.  She slipped out from under Tony’s arm and the covers stopping to grab some panties, thick socks and the grey sweater from earlier.  Heading down to the kitchen Belle started to put together something for dinner that would fill them and warm,  She also started a batch of mulled wine for later.  Looking out of window there wasn’t anything to be seen other than a smiling mass of snow.  The wind hadn’t settled down at all from earlier and periodically she could hear the wind ratting the front door.

She was adding more  wood to the fire when Tony came down the stairs and she glanced up at him

“Hey, the storms really picked up, I don’t think were doing any outside activities for a while, but I’ve got dinner on”

“Hmm well when I come down to a view like this I don’t feel the need to go outside.  Come here baby girl”

Laying a final piece of wood in the grate Belle stood and saunters over, adding a little more sway to her hips, her eyes fixed on Tony.  Pausing in front of him she reached out a hand to run it over his sweater covered chest 

“The views pretty good from here too” she murmured  before stepping in for a kiss which ended up pulling a moan from herself.

Tony leaned in closer deepening the kiss, one hand running down to squeeze a handful of her ass. “I need to go and check on dinner” Belle whispered against his lips

“Well I need to check on whats under that sweater” he more or less groveled back 

Belle laughed  slapping him gently on his chest “ Back up Mr and if you’re good I’ll let you have a look later”

Tony let her go but gave her a stinging slap on her behind as soon as she headed away from him before he went to look out the front door.  

“Ah mulled wine too” 

“Yep, I made us a beef stew and the rice is nearly done, I figured mulled wine would be a nice way to finish dinner”

“That sounds and smells amazing” His lips were back on her neck and arms around her waist “I just had a look outside and checked in with FRIDAY we’re pretty much snowed in, and the storm isn’t going to let up for at least 24 hours”

“So you’re saying that we are stranded here, all alone together for at least 24 hours, what ever will we do Mr Stark?”  Belle couldn’t keep the amusement out of her voice

“Oh don’t you worry Agent Porter I’ve got plans for you”

[fitono]

How Much Should a Personal Trainer Keep Personal?

Personal trainers are like onions. We’re layered. While we may come across as one-dimensional gym junkies who live and breathe health and fitness, it’s not the only thing we think about, engage with, or are interested in.

We also listen to music, watch movies, read books, follow sports teams. We call our mothers (something we should do more often), eat pizza (something we shouldn’t do quite so often), and press the snooze button. In short, we’re humans.

But how many of our layers should we reveal, in person or online? How does what we share affect relationships with our clients, and what effect might it have on future ones?

READ ALSO: “How to Grow Your Social Media Followers Organically”

To Be Yourself, or Not to Be Yourself? That Is the Question

In the spirit of this article, I’ll share why I’m writing about this:

I submitted a story idea to the PTDC, which led to an extended email conversation with Lou Schuler, the PTDC’s editorial director, which then led to me contacting a few fitness pros to get their take on this topic.

Schuler observed that I wrote an article and made a video about the Hero’s Journey, a story structure rooted in mythology that you see in countless movies to this day. It’s a topic we’re both interested in, but while he tied it to fitness in this audio lecture, I didn’t.

I knew it was a little out of the ordinary for a fitness guy to post content that wasn’t about fitness, but putting up a façade has never sat right with me. And it’s not that I never write or share information about my field; I wrote this article for the PTDC, and if you look at my Twitter feed, you’ll see I go back and forth between health and fitness and other interests like movies and philosophy.

It’s hard not to be yourself. It can be fatiguing and confusing. “It’s easier to share who you really are than to create an image you could never be,” says Dean Somerset, a strength and rehab specialist and pro wrestling fan. “What you do in your spare time is a big telling feature for who you are.”

Tony Gentilcore, owner of CORE in Boston and occasional movie critic, agrees. “Relatability is part of the game, and what will often persuade someone to choose X coach over the other,” he says. By talking about his favorite movies and love for techno, readers and clients can “appreciate that I’m not some deadlifting Terminator and that all I do is eat, sleep, and breathe strength and conditioning.”

“I’m a big fan of revealing personal interests and hobbies to clients and potential clients, both in-person and via social media,” says Molly Galbraith, co-founder and owner of Girls Gone Strong. “I think it humanizes us to our clients and potential clients.”

It’s also, she adds, “the perfect filtering system. It attracts more people who like me and believe in the work I do, and it repels people who aren’t a good fit for me.”

So how can we figure out what’s the right amount of sharing, and what crosses lines? Let’s start with a simple and admittedly arbitrary classification system Schuler created.

Risk Level 0

You follow the local sports teams, support local businesses, or enjoy watching Netflix series.

These are the simplest and least revelatory things we can say about ourselves. It’s like saying you’re a fan of fresh air.

Risk Level 1

You’re a pop culture nerd, like a particular type of music, or share basic facts like your marital status or how many kids you have.

While it’s hard to imagine anyone would be offended, you’re still revealing something that isn’t obvious simply by looking at you. As Gentilcore says, “Does the world need to know I have a special affinity for Julia Roberts’ romantic comedies, and that I can re-enact every line of Notting Hill? Probably not.”

Risk Level 2

You’re a fan of a team that’s a rival to the local clubs, or that people in general hate. Or you go to events that most people associate with a certain type of behavior or belief system. Or you share details of your personal life that, while not extreme or unusual by any definition, go beyond what we typically reveal.

A perfect example is this comment Galbraith made during an interview for Fitness Marketing Monthly: “I started going to therapy 10 years ago because I was struggling to be vulnerable with my boyfriend. The joke is that therapy worked too well because now I’m vulnerable on the Internet.”

Again, there’s little risk, but it does leave an impression on those who follow you online.

READ ALSO: “How to Build an Online Following from Scratch”

Risk Level 3

You have strong religious or political beliefs, in any direction, or unconventional relationships.

Now we get into the gray areas. “It’s very easy to share an opinion and instantly be branded as either ‘left wing’ or ‘right wing,’” Somerset says, “even if you would vote the opposite way on 90 percent of things.”

“People used to recommend not talking about politics or religion, but even that feels like it’s going out the window a bit these days,” Galbraith says. Her own business is a case in point. “Like it or not, women’s health issues are inherently political. I cannot educate on creating a safe and welcoming gym environment for female clients without explaining to coaches that 81 percent of women in the U.S. will experience sexual harassment, and 33 percent of them will be sexually assaulted.”

Other times, as we’ve all observed on our social media feeds, fitness pros deliberately wade into the most controversial issues.

“I’ve often said I would burn my own house down out of principle, which isn’t always a great thing,” says Jay Ashman, a strength coach and owner of KC Barbell. “The same goes for politics. I believe strongly in certain principles of being a human and have a difficult time bottling it up when it starts to fester inside of me.”

Has being outspoken ever cost him a client or gym member? “Not a single time,” Ashman says. “I have clients from all walks of life and they respect the fact that I stand by my beliefs.”

The same, however, doesn’t hold true for friendships and professional contacts. “I’ve largely left behind a lot of former friends and colleagues because of how they believe and how I believe,” he admits. “That’s a fact of life if you have principles.”

But perhaps the bigger loss, from a business perspective, is the time and bandwidth you sacrifice when you talk about politics online. You can’t just walk away from a conversation if you’re the one who started it. You have to engage with those who disagree, which means you have to figure out who’s sincere and who’s just trolling you out of pure sadistic glee. (“I’ve done my best to not act like a fool when discussing things, but others don’t always share the same decorum,” he says with diplomatic understatement.)

And in Ashman’s case, he chose to do it while opening a gym and running an online training business. That’s why he says he “toned it down a lot” after the 2016 election.

Risk Level 4

You have universally reviled beliefs or associations (men’s rights activist, survivalist, white supremacist, etc.), cheat on your spouse or partner, or conduct business in an illegal or unethical way.

And now our story takes an unexpected and eye-opening turn. On November 5th, the day before the midterm elections in the U.S. and several days after Ashman told us he wasn’t engaging as much in politics, he made this announcement on Facebook:

If you have been with me on Facebook for any length of time, you would know how adamant I am about fighting the far right and being aware that this dangerous segment is growing more bold by the day.

There is a reason for that.

I used to be a part of it and contributed to it in a major way.

This is something I am scared s***less to write about because it is opening not only a can of worms but also tied into my business.

I have been out of the “movement” for well over 15 years, but those scars will never, ever fade. …

I am sorry I was a part of this. It is one of my only regrets in life.

The lesson, Ashman says, is to “be transparent and real with your life. Judgment errors are real, but so is fixing those errors.”

To Thine Own Clients Be True

Perhaps the best advice we’ve heard is in this podcast interview with Krista Scott-Dixon of Precision Nutrition:

“I always ask myself, ‘What is in the service of my client? What will help my client in this moment?’ … I come down on this side: Strategic self-disclosure can be a way of creating connection with your client. …

“Every time you self-disclose, you want to ask yourself … ‘Is this self-disclosure appropriate? Does it enhance the relationship? Is it in the service of my client? What’s my reason for sharing? How much am I sharing? How am I framing it?’”

Everyone Schuler and I talked to agrees that displaying our uniqueness can work in our favor, and may even give us an edge over trainers who’re less interesting, personable, or memorable.

But that’s contingent on being memorable for the right reasons. While we may love to get drunk on a Saturday night, or argue politics like a drunk uncle on the Internet, or favor one side of the political divide, or can’t get enough of a notorious “We Are the Champions” remix, we have to ask if we’re doing our followers any favors by sharing it with them. After all, our reputations and legacies are on the line.

    Ignite Your Personal Training Career with Authenticity

“Be authentic. There is no other you, and trying to be anyone other than who you are will seem contrived. Authenticity is always in style, and will allow you to attract the type of client and customer that you truly want.”

– Excerpt from Ignite the Fire (page 19)

When you truly, deeply know your clients and your unique client niche, you’re better able to navigate the tricky topic of transparency discussed in this article. You’re also able to better find, market to, and sell to your ideal client.

Learn how to identify and successfully market to your client niche in Jonathan Goodman’s book Ignite the Fire. You’ll get a clear road map to build your clientele, your reputation, and income.

Buy Your Copy of Ignite the Fire

As the most reviewed book for personal trainers on Amazon,  the 518+ 5-star reviews can’t be wrong. Don’t delay:

–> Buy your copy today!

    The post How Much Should a Personal Trainer Keep Personal? appeared first on The PTDC.

How Much Should a Personal Trainer Keep Personal? published first on https://medium.com/@MyDietArea

[gabriellakirtonblog]

How Much Should a Personal Trainer Keep Personal?

Personal trainers are like onions. We’re layered. While we may come across as one-dimensional gym junkies who live and breathe health and fitness, it’s not the only thing we think about, engage with, or are interested in.

We also listen to music, watch movies, read books, follow sports teams. We call our mothers (something we should do more often), eat pizza (something we shouldn’t do quite so often), and press the snooze button. In short, we’re humans.

But how many of our layers should we reveal, in person or online? How does what we share affect relationships with our clients, and what effect might it have on future ones?

READ ALSO: “How to Grow Your Social Media Followers Organically”

To Be Yourself, or Not to Be Yourself? That Is the Question

In the spirit of this article, I’ll share why I’m writing about this:

I submitted a story idea to the PTDC, which led to an extended email conversation with Lou Schuler, the PTDC’s editorial director, which then led to me contacting a few fitness pros to get their take on this topic.

Schuler observed that I wrote an article and made a video about the Hero’s Journey, a story structure rooted in mythology that you see in countless movies to this day. It’s a topic we’re both interested in, but while he tied it to fitness in this audio lecture, I didn’t.

I knew it was a little out of the ordinary for a fitness guy to post content that wasn’t about fitness, but putting up a façade has never sat right with me. And it’s not that I never write or share information about my field; I wrote this article for the PTDC, and if you look at my Twitter feed, you’ll see I go back and forth between health and fitness and other interests like movies and philosophy.

It’s hard not to be yourself. It can be fatiguing and confusing. “It’s easier to share who you really are than to create an image you could never be,” says Dean Somerset, a strength and rehab specialist and pro wrestling fan. “What you do in your spare time is a big telling feature for who you are.”

Tony Gentilcore, owner of CORE in Boston and occasional movie critic, agrees. “Relatability is part of the game, and what will often persuade someone to choose X coach over the other,” he says. By talking about his favorite movies and love for techno, readers and clients can “appreciate that I’m not some deadlifting Terminator and that all I do is eat, sleep, and breathe strength and conditioning.”

“I’m a big fan of revealing personal interests and hobbies to clients and potential clients, both in-person and via social media,” says Molly Galbraith, co-founder and owner of Girls Gone Strong. “I think it humanizes us to our clients and potential clients.”

It’s also, she adds, “the perfect filtering system. It attracts more people who like me and believe in the work I do, and it repels people who aren’t a good fit for me.”

So how can we figure out what’s the right amount of sharing, and what crosses lines? Let’s start with a simple and admittedly arbitrary classification system Schuler created.

Risk Level 0

You follow the local sports teams, support local businesses, or enjoy watching Netflix series.

These are the simplest and least revelatory things we can say about ourselves. It’s like saying you’re a fan of fresh air.

Risk Level 1

You’re a pop culture nerd, like a particular type of music, or share basic facts like your marital status or how many kids you have.

While it’s hard to imagine anyone would be offended, you’re still revealing something that isn’t obvious simply by looking at you. As Gentilcore says, “Does the world need to know I have a special affinity for Julia Roberts’ romantic comedies, and that I can re-enact every line of Notting Hill? Probably not.”

Risk Level 2

You’re a fan of a team that’s a rival to the local clubs, or that people in general hate. Or you go to events that most people associate with a certain type of behavior or belief system. Or you share details of your personal life that, while not extreme or unusual by any definition, go beyond what we typically reveal.

A perfect example is this comment Galbraith made during an interview for Fitness Marketing Monthly: “I started going to therapy 10 years ago because I was struggling to be vulnerable with my boyfriend. The joke is that therapy worked too well because now I’m vulnerable on the Internet.”

Again, there’s little risk, but it does leave an impression on those who follow you online.

READ ALSO: “How to Build an Online Following from Scratch”

Risk Level 3

You have strong religious or political beliefs, in any direction, or unconventional relationships.

Now we get into the gray areas. “It’s very easy to share an opinion and instantly be branded as either ‘left wing’ or ‘right wing,’” Somerset says, “even if you would vote the opposite way on 90 percent of things.”

“People used to recommend not talking about politics or religion, but even that feels like it’s going out the window a bit these days,” Galbraith says. Her own business is a case in point. “Like it or not, women’s health issues are inherently political. I cannot educate on creating a safe and welcoming gym environment for female clients without explaining to coaches that 81 percent of women in the U.S. will experience sexual harassment, and 33 percent of them will be sexually assaulted.”

Other times, as we’ve all observed on our social media feeds, fitness pros deliberately wade into the most controversial issues.

“I’ve often said I would burn my own house down out of principle, which isn’t always a great thing,” says Jay Ashman, a strength coach and owner of KC Barbell. “The same goes for politics. I believe strongly in certain principles of being a human and have a difficult time bottling it up when it starts to fester inside of me.”

Has being outspoken ever cost him a client or gym member? “Not a single time,” Ashman says. “I have clients from all walks of life and they respect the fact that I stand by my beliefs.”

The same, however, doesn’t hold true for friendships and professional contacts. “I’ve largely left behind a lot of former friends and colleagues because of how they believe and how I believe,” he admits. “That’s a fact of life if you have principles.”

But perhaps the bigger loss, from a business perspective, is the time and bandwidth you sacrifice when you talk about politics online. You can’t just walk away from a conversation if you’re the one who started it. You have to engage with those who disagree, which means you have to figure out who’s sincere and who’s just trolling you out of pure sadistic glee. (“I’ve done my best to not act like a fool when discussing things, but others don’t always share the same decorum,” he says with diplomatic understatement.)

And in Ashman’s case, he chose to do it while opening a gym and running an online training business. That’s why he says he “toned it down a lot” after the 2016 election.

Risk Level 4

You have universally reviled beliefs or associations (men’s rights activist, survivalist, white supremacist, etc.), cheat on your spouse or partner, or conduct business in an illegal or unethical way.

And now our story takes an unexpected and eye-opening turn. On November 5th, the day before the midterm elections in the U.S. and several days after Ashman told us he wasn’t engaging as much in politics, he made this announcement on Facebook:

If you have been with me on Facebook for any length of time, you would know how adamant I am about fighting the far right and being aware that this dangerous segment is growing more bold by the day.

There is a reason for that.

I used to be a part of it and contributed to it in a major way.

This is something I am scared s***less to write about because it is opening not only a can of worms but also tied into my business.

I have been out of the “movement” for well over 15 years, but those scars will never, ever fade. …

I am sorry I was a part of this. It is one of my only regrets in life.

It’s impossible to say what lesson to draw from this, except that it’s easier to understand why Ashman has lost friends over his politics, while his clients and gym members remain loyal.

To Thine Own Clients Be True

Perhaps the best advice we’ve heard is in this podcast interview with Krista Scott-Dixon of Precision Nutrition:

“I always ask myself, ‘What is in the service of my client? What will help my client in this moment?’ … I come down on this side: Strategic self-disclosure can be a way of creating connection with your client. …

“Every time you self-disclose, you want to ask yourself … ‘Is this self-disclosure appropriate? Does it enhance the relationship? Is it in the service of my client? What’s my reason for sharing? How much am I sharing? How am I framing it?’”

Everyone Schuler and I talked to agrees that displaying our uniqueness can work in our favor, and may even give us an edge over trainers who’re less interesting, personable, or memorable.

But that’s contingent on being memorable for the right reasons. While we may love to get drunk on a Saturday night, or argue politics like a drunk uncle on the Internet, or favor one side of the political divide, or can’t get enough of a notorious “We Are the Champions” remix, we have to ask if we’re doing our followers any favors by sharing it with them. After all, our reputations and legacies are on the line.

    Ignite Your Personal Training Career with Authenticity

“Be authentic. There is no other you, and trying to be anyone other than who you are will seem contrived. Authenticity is always in style, and will allow you to attract the type of client and customer that you truly want.”

– Excerpt from Ignite the Fire (page 19)

When you truly, deeply know your clients and your unique client niche, you’re better able to navigate the tricky topic of transparency discussed in this article. You’re also able to better find, market to, and sell to your ideal client.

Learn how to identify and successfully market to your client niche in Jonathan Goodman’s book Ignite the Fire. You’ll get a clear road map to build your clientele, your reputation, and income.

Buy Your Copy of Ignite the Fire

As the most reviewed book for personal trainers on Amazon,  the 518+ 5-star reviews can’t be wrong. Don’t delay:

–> Buy your copy today!

    The post How Much Should a Personal Trainer Keep Personal? appeared first on The PTDC.

How Much Should a Personal Trainer Keep Personal? published first on https://onezeroonesarms.tumblr.com/

[fitono]

How Much Should a Personal Trainer Keep Personal?

Personal trainers are like onions. We’re layered. While we may come across as one-dimensional gym junkies who live and breathe health and fitness, it’s not the only thing we think about, engage with, or are interested in.

We also listen to music, watch movies, read books, follow sports teams. We call our mothers (something we should do more often), eat pizza (something we shouldn’t do quite so often), and press the snooze button. In short, we’re humans.

But how many of our layers should we reveal, in person or online? How does what we share affect relationships with our clients, and what effect might it have on future ones?

READ ALSO: “How to Grow Your Social Media Followers Organically”

To Be Yourself, or Not to Be Yourself? That Is the Question

In the spirit of this article, I’ll share why I’m writing about this:

I submitted a story idea to the PTDC, which led to an extended email conversation with Lou Schuler, the PTDC’s editorial director, which then led to me contacting a few fitness pros to get their take on this topic.

Schuler observed that I wrote an article and made a video about the Hero’s Journey, a story structure rooted in mythology that you see in countless movies to this day. It’s a topic we’re both interested in, but while he tied it to fitness in this audio lecture, I didn’t.

I knew it was a little out of the ordinary for a fitness guy to post content that wasn’t about fitness, but putting up a façade has never sat right with me. And it’s not that I never write or share information about my field; I wrote this article for the PTDC, and if you look at my Twitter feed, you’ll see I go back and forth between health and fitness and other interests like movies and philosophy.

It’s hard not to be yourself. It can be fatiguing and confusing. “It’s easier to share who you really are than to create an image you could never be,” says Dean Somerset, a strength and rehab specialist and pro wrestling fan. “What you do in your spare time is a big telling feature for who you are.”

Tony Gentilcore, owner of CORE in Boston and occasional movie critic, agrees. “Relatability is part of the game, and what will often persuade someone to choose X coach over the other,” he says. By talking about his favorite movies and love for techno, readers and clients can “appreciate that I’m not some deadlifting Terminator and that all I do is eat, sleep, and breathe strength and conditioning.”

“I’m a big fan of revealing personal interests and hobbies to clients and potential clients, both in-person and via social media,” says Molly Galbraith, co-founder and owner of Girls Gone Strong. “I think it humanizes us to our clients and potential clients.”

It’s also, she adds, “the perfect filtering system. It attracts more people who like me and believe in the work I do, and it repels people who aren’t a good fit for me.”

So how can we figure out what’s the right amount of sharing, and what crosses lines? Let’s start with a simple and admittedly arbitrary classification system Schuler created.

Risk Level 0

You follow the local sports teams, support local businesses, or enjoy watching Netflix series.

These are the simplest and least revelatory things we can say about ourselves. It’s like saying you’re a fan of fresh air.

Risk Level 1

You’re a pop culture nerd, like a particular type of music, or share basic facts like your marital status or how many kids you have.

While it’s hard to imagine anyone would be offended, you’re still revealing something that isn’t obvious simply by looking at you. As Gentilcore says, “Does the world need to know I have a special affinity for Julia Roberts’ romantic comedies, and that I can re-enact every line of Notting Hill? Probably not.”

Risk Level 2

You’re a fan of a team that’s a rival to the local clubs, or that people in general hate. Or you go to events that most people associate with a certain type of behavior or belief system. Or you share details of your personal life that, while not extreme or unusual by any definition, go beyond what we typically reveal.

A perfect example is this comment Galbraith made during an interview for Fitness Marketing Monthly: “I started going to therapy 10 years ago because I was struggling to be vulnerable with my boyfriend. The joke is that therapy worked too well because now I’m vulnerable on the Internet.”

Again, there’s little risk, but it does leave an impression on those who follow you online.

READ ALSO: “How to Build an Online Following from Scratch”

Risk Level 3

You have strong religious or political beliefs, in any direction, or unconventional relationships.

Now we get into the gray areas. “It’s very easy to share an opinion and instantly be branded as either ‘left wing’ or ‘right wing,’” Somerset says, “even if you would vote the opposite way on 90 percent of things.”

“People used to recommend not talking about politics or religion, but even that feels like it’s going out the window a bit these days,” Galbraith says. Her own business is a case in point. “Like it or not, women’s health issues are inherently political. I cannot educate on creating a safe and welcoming gym environment for female clients without explaining to coaches that 81 percent of women in the U.S. will experience sexual harassment, and 33 percent of them will be sexually assaulted.”

Other times, as we’ve all observed on our social media feeds, fitness pros deliberately wade into the most controversial issues.

“I’ve often said I would burn my own house down out of principle, which isn’t always a great thing,” says Jay Ashman, a strength coach and owner of KC Barbell. “The same goes for politics. I believe strongly in certain principles of being a human and have a difficult time bottling it up when it starts to fester inside of me.”

Has being outspoken ever cost him a client or gym member? “Not a single time,” Ashman says. “I have clients from all walks of life and they respect the fact that I stand by my beliefs.”

The same, however, doesn’t hold true for friendships and professional contacts. “I’ve largely left behind a lot of former friends and colleagues because of how they believe and how I believe,” he admits. “That’s a fact of life if you have principles.”

But perhaps the bigger loss, from a business perspective, is the time and bandwidth you sacrifice when you talk about politics online. You can’t just walk away from a conversation if you’re the one who started it. You have to engage with those who disagree, which means you have to figure out who’s sincere and who’s just trolling you out of pure sadistic glee. (“I’ve done my best to not act like a fool when discussing things, but others don’t always share the same decorum,” he says with diplomatic understatement.)

And in Ashman’s case, he chose to do it while opening a gym and running an online training business. That’s why he says he “toned it down a lot” after the 2016 election.

Risk Level 4

You have universally reviled beliefs or associations (men’s rights activist, survivalist, white supremacist, etc.), cheat on your spouse or partner, or conduct business in an illegal or unethical way.

And now our story takes an unexpected and eye-opening turn. On November 5th, the day before the midterm elections in the U.S. and several days after Ashman told us he wasn’t engaging as much in politics, he made this announcement on Facebook:

If you have been with me on Facebook for any length of time, you would know how adamant I am about fighting the far right and being aware that this dangerous segment is growing more bold by the day.

There is a reason for that.

I used to be a part of it and contributed to it in a major way.

This is something I am scared s***less to write about because it is opening not only a can of worms but also tied into my business.

I have been out of the “movement” for well over 15 years, but those scars will never, ever fade. …

I am sorry I was a part of this. It is one of my only regrets in life.

It’s impossible to say what lesson to draw from this, except that it’s easier to understand why Ashman has lost friends over his politics, while his clients and gym members remain loyal.

To Thine Own Clients Be True

Perhaps the best advice we’ve heard is in this podcast interview with Krista Scott-Dixon of Precision Nutrition:

“I always ask myself, ‘What is in the service of my client? What will help my client in this moment?’ … I come down on this side: Strategic self-disclosure can be a way of creating connection with your client. …

“Every time you self-disclose, you want to ask yourself … ‘Is this self-disclosure appropriate? Does it enhance the relationship? Is it in the service of my client? What’s my reason for sharing? How much am I sharing? How am I framing it?’”

Everyone Schuler and I talked to agrees that displaying our uniqueness can work in our favor, and may even give us an edge over trainers who’re less interesting, personable, or memorable.

But that’s contingent on being memorable for the right reasons. While we may love to get drunk on a Saturday night, or argue politics like a drunk uncle on the Internet, or favor one side of the political divide, or can’t get enough of a notorious “We Are the Champions” remix, we have to ask if we’re doing our followers any favors by sharing it with them. After all, our reputations and legacies are on the line.

    Ignite Your Personal Training Career with Authenticity

“Be authentic. There is no other you, and trying to be anyone other than who you are will seem contrived. Authenticity is always in style, and will allow you to attract the type of client and customer that you truly want.”

– Excerpt from Ignite the Fire (page 19)

When you truly, deeply know your clients and your unique client niche, you’re better able to navigate the tricky topic of transparency discussed in this article. You’re also able to better find, market to, and sell to your ideal client.

Learn how to identify and successfully market to your client niche in Jonathan Goodman’s book Ignite the Fire. You’ll get a clear road map to build your clientele, your reputation, and income.

Buy Your Copy of Ignite the Fire

As the most reviewed book for personal trainers on Amazon,  the 518+ 5-star reviews can’t be wrong. Don’t delay:

–> Buy your copy today!

    The post How Much Should a Personal Trainer Keep Personal? appeared first on The PTDC.

How Much Should a Personal Trainer Keep Personal? published first on https://medium.com/@MyDietArea