#my sleep schedule is all fucked up from the holidays

[littiescorp]

I'm cute today, but in a way that says I am very sleep deprived

[defrogatory]

idk if this holiday pay is worth this shit today.

[lesbiansanemi]

I have had the overwhelming urge to write so much the past week but my job switched me to mornings and I am so 😡😡😡 angry because I am excited to write so much but the second I get home I collapse and do nothing I want to write so fucking bad but instead I am!!!!!! Sleepy!!!!!!!

[disgustingtwitches]

MDNI

141 as your drug dealer boyfriend

Ghost- Let's be real with ourselves, Ghost is not a good man. He doesn't care who he hurts, as long as he gets his. He will do anything to get what he wants and there is no stopping him. It's what made him a great soldier, and it's what makes him a great kingpin. He moves weight to put it lightly. There isn't a moment where an uncut key is unmoving; from a warehouse, to a plane (or car, or train), to a distributor, to a pusher, to up someone's nose. He'll try to do some damage control, make sure things aren't cut with fent, but that's only to make sure customers keep coming back. He likes to keep his hands clean, in the sense that he'll never be the one to pull the trigger on anyone that's out of line. Living up to his name, no one knows what he looks like. Hell, a lot of people don't even think he's real.

But when it comes to you, Simon's a different man. No talk about work, just you and him. Other than the multiple hidden guns around the house and Glock he sleeps with, life is normal with you. Holiday homes in the French countryside and Bahamas. Designer everything. Sports cars in all your favorite colors. You want for nothing. It's the life he wanted for you. After all those years of crying and hurt when he was away for weeks or months, you deserved the world. Want the new Hermès bag? You got it. Can't choose between the black or white louboutins? Get both. Stop eating you out because you can't feel your toes anymore? Sorry love, only thing he can't do for you.

Soap- Johnny is a small business owner. Weighs everything out by his own hand. Presses his own pills. Let's you help baggie everything up. A social butterfly, this man is at every concert, rave, or music festival. Sometimes he has a friend help push his stuff when he just wants to stay home with you, but for the most part he's his own salesman. And a damn good one. Never has overstock. No matter how much he brings with him, he'll always sellout.

Has a supernatural sense of being shorted. Can tell if a bag is even a few grams off just by holding it.

"Ye'r an idiot if ye think ye kin short me."

And when the other party denies, he always keeps a pocket scale on him, setting the parcel on it. And sure enough, he's always right.

He'll come home with a few grand, the only job you have is to sit there and look pretty. And roll his spliffs. Sitting in his lap, tucking the rolling paper into itself and licking it closed while he counts out a fat wad of cash. He hands you a fat stack,

"A've never bin good wi' money. Ye know how to spend it better than me."

He never touches the stuff he sells, no need to when all the dopamine he needs is right between your legs.

"Ten times better than any o tha' shite, anyways."

He pants in your ear while folding you in half, firm grip on your throat.

Gaz- When it comes to psychedelics, Kyle is your go-to man. He's a fucking genius, synthesizes his own DMT and LSD in a lab. It's a state of the art facility, clean with the latest and greatest equipment available. He supplies the whole Northeast. If it's a hallucinogen, it's most likely Gaz's product. And if it's good, it's definitely his. He has a cozy set up with some "organization" that he cooks for. Steers clear of actually selling to people, no need to when his clients line his pockets so well. Never brings work home, he even wears different clothes when he's in the lab.

He has a set schedule he has to adhere to but sometimes he's able to take vacations with you. And that's how you ended up bent over a balcony watching the sunset in Punta Cana,

"I work so hard to make you happy, now it's my turn yeah?"

A breeze sends a shiver up your spine while he kisses your shoulder,

"I know a private beach where you can even out those tan lines,"

Of course he doesn't give a shit about that, he just wants to fuck you silly on the seaside (and show off to anyone who might be watching.)

Price- Caring and nurturing, the man naturally has a green thumb. And alongside his prized heirloom tomatoes, he grows really, really good weed. Has a whole growroom in his basement, decked out with proper ventilation, ACs, UV lights, the works. The man grows medical grade weed that private clinics buy from him. He's legit. And of course he serves the public as well under the table, sells only to people he knows and established clients can refer others to him. He treats his plants like his babies, even going as far as to play music for them (according to him classical music helps them grow better???). You don't know where he finds the time, but he also made you rose garden for your anniversary. He brings up the idea of a family every so often. He'll finish as deep inside of you as possible,

"Let's replace that plant nursery for a real one, yeah love?"

Gonna write actual stories for each one if y'all like this ( . * 3 * . )/`

[stormxpadme]

Doc still didn't call btw bc who needs to know if they're gonna get surgery in five days or not anyway :-)

[prael]

Oranges And Flowers

Kinktember Day 18: Romance

IU (Lee Jieun) x male reader smut

words: 10,517 Kinktember Masterlist

"Can I be honest with you all?" A question for a question, and they all turn their heads, and finally you offer them a real answer. "I didn't really know what I was getting myself into—when I applied to stay here, that is—I just needed a place to stay for the week."

The evening air is humid and still, the sky a flat obsidian black with shining constellations, and underneath it, surrounding a fire, is a circle of maybe the most mismatched group of people ever assembled. There are the stars of course, Hyori and Sangsoon, owners of the house and the famous couple hosting you all—then, Lee Jieun; you know the one, probably the single most famous person in the country, just casually sitting there in her summer dress as if she was nothing special at all. And then there's the guests, an assortment of people you still don't really know. The old couple, the young couple, and the sisters.

And, finally: you.

"So you applied to the TV show, just for somewhere to stay?" Hyori's laughter carries and is as contagious as it is clear and pleasant.

"Honestly," you look around the circle. "I didn't read a lot of the info, and even now I'm not too sure what's actually going on in the show."

This earns a laugh from the group, they're all looking at you, and not in that 'you-fucking-moron' sort of way, no, their faces are full of smiles. Though, one stands out above the rest.

"And you?" Hyori turns her attention to the next person in the circle, one of the sisters who is sitting on your left. All the stares move along with the questions, switching focus to the girl—all except one. Jieun sits directly across from you and her gaze rests stoically upon your face, an unreadable smile painting her delicate lips a plush and radiant pink. Between you, the fire burns. It sends spiralling embers shooting into the night and, behind it, the orange light dances over her skin. It would be so easy to get the wrong idea here. This place is just so beautiful, everything is picture-perfect, and all these postcard-worthy scenes feel even better when Lee Jieun is a part of the composition.

Laughter breaks out in the group again for some joke you never paid attention to. It steals the attention of you both, however, turning to the girl and joining in the laughter with a meek half-hearted chuckle, looking around at them all awkwardly before returning your eyes to Lee Jieun. She returns the look and lifts her drink, taking a long sip through a straw.

You weren't too sure about all this the first day you arrived. On paper it seems like such an obvious idea, you didn't have to pay a penny and the producers even picked you up from the airport, all in exchange for being a bit-part background character that no one who watches will ever really remember or care about. In reality, it has changed the whole holiday. The requirements for guests were rather simple. You just need to be around for a few set activities by the producer, all worked around your schedule, and then you're free to enjoy your time however you like.

That first morning, you were greeted at the house by Hyori and Sangsoon. Introductions were made and then a short tour began, all under the camera's watchful eye.

It was okay, you could handle it, right up until you were taken into the kitchen and standing there was Lee fucking Jieun. Apparently, you skipped over the part that said IU was going to be here. It was like staring into the sun. Of course, Hyori was quick to joke as you stood there stunned and silent with an open mouth that could catch a mosquito or two.

"Why am I being outshone in my own house? Jieun, you need to leave." Hyori playfully poked her friend in the arm, and Jieun just giggled along. And like the world's biggest idiot, you couldn't even muster a simple 'Hello'. Great first impression there.

From then on you were shown where you would sleep and you bumped into some of the other guests. They seemed normal enough. One was nice, one seemed grumpy, and the others—well, you really didn't know yet. When you settled into your room, you yearned to just do something normal, to not get overwhelmed. Making some tea seemed like the perfect grounding activity.

When you got there, the kitchen was empty. The teapot was already out, but everything else was decidedly harder to find. Then came that soft and gentle voice from behind you. "You won't find anything to steal in there; it's all baking supplies." It made you jump, and you snapped around to see Jieun leaning against a fridge door, smiling over a glass of something clear and carbonated.

You pointed at your chest like an idiot. "I'm... not looking to steal."

"Too bad." She took a long and dramatic sip. "It would have made for good television. Plus, you look like a kleptomaniac to me. Brooding and mysterious, travelling alone, all that sort of thing."

"I'm actually just trying to make some tea."

"Oh perfect, let me. Here," She took the cup from the kitchen counter, placed it in front of you, and then moved beside you to open the correct cupboard to pull out some tea leaves. It was funny the kind of thing that can go into making a good impression and the pressure you put on yourself to do so. How many would kill for this chance, to stand close to Jieun in an otherwise empty room? Yet, your mind was swimming, you were trying desperately to not think about the very famous, attractive, woman who stood shoulder-to-shoulder with you—trying desperately and failing horribly as the thoughts of something funny to say slipped out of reach entirely.

She leant in towards you—well, towards your cup—and you jumped back, trying to play it off as a simple 'making way' manoeuvre, but her little side-eye glance and smile told you how stupid you looked.

"This is one of the few things I know what to do. Tea. I can make tea," she was saying as she filled up the teapot. "They asked me to try and bake some bread this morning, but..."

"Where is it now?"

"It's in here," she pointed at the rubbish bin with a free hand.

"I think it bakes better in the oven. Can't tell you much more than that though." Boy did this woman laugh. Like, a lot. As if it was the funniest thing she had heard all week. Her shoulders shook and her whole body swayed, and when the teapot whistled it made her jump, which sent her spiralling back into another fit.

And suddenly, she looked so... normal. 

You know it's unfair to say celebrities are anything other than just normal people, because of course they are normal people, it's not like fame and money change them on a fundamental level. That being said, they can't help but not be normal in the eyes of many. Celebrities are celebrities,  like how someone with blue hair is always blue-haired. But, at the end of the day, Jieun, whether she is IU the singer and TV star or Jieun the disaster of a breadmaker, is just a regular, normal, though very gorgeous, woman.

And she looks that way now, too, across the campfire. Sure, the cameras are rolling and she puts a little extra emphasis and playfulness on her expressions and movements—who wouldn't for the sake of good television—but in this moment, right here, right now, she's a completely normal and likeable human being, one you think you might enjoy being around. Hyori continues to lead the discussion around the fire pit, asking a few probing questions about the guest's hobbies and home lives, then posing riddles to the group and comparing their answers with her husband Sangsoon's.

For you, her questions are answered quickly, giving them a quick thought and little else before letting them fall from your lips.

When Hyori moves her focus along, she doesn't fail to pick up on the way you and Jieun spend the remaining half hour or so, looking at each other, smiling every so often, then quickly pulling your gaze away as if caught red-handed doing something sinful.

~~~

"We're going to pick oranges this morning." Hyori is explaining over breakfast. "I know, it's not the most exciting but it's the Jeju staple activity, so we have to do it. All guests are welcome to join us."

The young couple sat to your right immediately volunteered their services, followed soon after by the older man and his wife. Once their attendance was secure, the rest seemed significantly less interested and all excused themselves for other tasks. As the only person yet to respond, Jieun turned the spotlight on you, "How about you? Are you going to join us?"

You shrugged. "Uh, I was going to meet a friend, actually."

Hyori is quick to follow up, "You could see them in the afternoon right? Come with us, it will be fun." There are a few puzzled looks around the table. See, Hyori didn't push anyone else to go, no, only you. "Your friend won't mind right?"

In all honesty, your friend might very well be livid, though he might very well lighten up if you told him who you were spending your morning with instead. You run a hand through your hair and admit defeat, looking towards her. "Okay, I'll come along."

An answer that produces an immediate, but brief shared glance between Hyori and Jieun.

~~~

The journey there was lacklustre, a short ride, with the other guest, separated from the stars who rode ahead. The staff member with you gave you a basic run down, they are only planning to use the guests in some overhead shots and some background shots, everything else would be focused on the three of them.

But, after climbing the stone steps and passing through the orchard gate, Hyori takes charge of the situation. "We'll split up into pairs. Our two older lovebirds can go together, and our younger couple too. Sangsoon is with me and..." She stops. Hyori gives you a devious grin, one that speaks louder than words. "That leaves you two." She gives a final affirming nod before striding over to join Sangsoon.

And just like that, you find yourself walking through the grove alongside a girl you've only ever seen on TV before. This morning she wore a cute ensemble that accentuated her long legs. Another flowing sundress with a belt tied tight at the waist to show off that lithe, feminine shape. It's a silent first few steps, walking off down between two rows of trees, both waiting for the other to initiate the conversation.

Jieun speaks first, breaking through the tension. "So, you said you know someone on the island?"

"Uh," you brush a loose strand of hair from your eye. "A couple of them actually, old friends. One lives in Jeju and another's been here for work and he said I should visit when I'm in the area."

"What are they like?" Jieun stops, so do you, and then she steps across you, before crouching down to take an orange from the low-hanging fruit. "The friends."

"Uhm..." What are they like? Good friends, obviously, otherwise you wouldn't be making this trip. Where's the drama, where are the fun anecdotes, or the moments of soul searching. Nothing comes to mind. "They're fine?"

It earns a chuckle from Jieun. "Fine?" She stands facing you, dropping the fruit into the basket you're carrying. "Is that all?" She flashes you the sweetest smile, an endearing smile, one that begs you to open up a little more.

"I met them recently, actually, it's been mostly online, to tell the truth." Jieun ducks down to get the next fruit, you bend down too and pluck at another on the opposite side, rotating to turn to her and handing her the basket, standing back up and following beside her once more. "They're funny, one of them is a big foodie. Always posts pictures of stuff like the best bibimbap in Busan or whatever. Has a whole food blog that's fairly popular."

Jieun nods, pondering and popping a new piece of fruit into the basket. "Do you like food?"

"Can't live without it," you joke.

Jieun chuckles, and you laugh with her. It is hard not to, her laughter is so cute. "So can you cook?" she follows.

"Instant noodles is about all I know."

"Somehow I even manage to ruin those," she admits with a fake frown and a laugh. "I think that's part of the reason I'm on this show."

"What's that?" you ask as Jieun reaches for another ripe fruit, she pulls it from the branch and then somehow manages to drop it on the floor, a gesture you couldn't help but find positively adorable. She runs a few steps after it as it begins to roll on the hard dirt ground, and bends over to scoop it up, presenting it to you victoriously with her smile.

"What's what?"

"You said it's why you're on the show."

"Oh, because I'm kind of, useless? Clumsy, not very domesticated, really."

"Those things don't make you useless, you're anything but useless." Is that flirting? A line you spout before the weight of the words and the loaded tone settle in your own mind. Jieun turns to you, eyes sparkling, cheeks rising as she smiles wider than you had seen before.

"And why is that?" There's no escaping her questioning, and maybe she enjoys it a little.

"Well." A fruit, any fruit, grab another fruit. Look away and look at the tree. Breathe. Turn to her again. You can do it. "You just put all your talents into singing and performing and acting and whatever else you do right? You put all your skill points into one tree so to speak, instead of scattering them to fill multiple."

She stops. Frowns. "What?" Her face twists in a confused mess. "Skill points?"

"Oh. It's like, in games, when you earn skill points to improve something and choose what you want to..." You realise how utterly ridiculous you sound. "Never mind."

Her face is one of wonder, there's this mixture of confusion, curiosity, and her clearly fighting back laughter. "No," she laughs. "Continue, please, you were doing a whole thing there."

"I embarrassed myself enough for one day. Thank you."

"Are you a bit of a nerd?" She asks with this teasing smirk before spinning away, her floral dress flowing in the wind, and walking further ahead.

"Hey! No! Not a nerd!" you call after her, following in her wake.

"Look like a nerd to me" She twirls around just before the turn in the row, leaning on the trunk of one of the few taller trees, smirking and playfully twirling a few strands of her dark hair around her delicate fingers.

From then on, the conversation flows far easier and quicker than it probably should. A playful back and forth as she questions your hobbies and quirks, you fire back asking for her own. Things range from the kinds of books she likes to her telling you how she always sings into her toothbrush every morning when she is brushing her teeth. You promised not to tell a soul, as her secret was safely in your hands. She has a quick wit and a slightly goofy sense of humour, the kind of things a magazine spread or a soju advertisement could never communicate or capture.

Despite her charm and charisma though, the thing that shines through the most is the way she listens to you. With genuine care and fascination, and not just for the cameras, no, it felt genuine. Honest. True.

"No. You can not be serious!"

"One hundred percent true." You pull out your phone and show her the photos on the screen. A blurry mess at first before you flip to another.

"That's you? And that's... is that..." She doesn't need to finish, she takes hold of the phone and holds it directly up against her face. "Why did you think that was a good idea?"

"I never thought it was a good idea, I lost a bet, and we had been drinking. Bad decisions were inevitable."

"This might well be the single worst tattoo I have ever seen." She doesn't stop squinting at the photo. "Why is it upside down?"

"I don't think the orientation would make it any better."

"Wait," Jieun says, looking away from your phone and into your eyes. "You have to show me it, I want to see it with my own eyes."

"Absolutely not."

Jieun slaps at your arm, pretending to be upset. "Come on!"

"Jieun, even if I wanted to show you my ass, there would be no point, I had it lasered off like 2 months later."

Jieun's laughter could ring for a day. It's infectious, it's a laughter that communicates how light, happy and free-spirited she feels—and it makes you feel exactly the same. You talk a bit about travelling, too. Places you've been, places you would still like to go. For Jieun, it became a bit of a flex. A concert here and a concert there, movie filming there and a photoshoot here.

"You've seen the world, and met everyone, but here you are picking oranges with me."

"Here I am." Jieun stepped aside as you passed, looking around at the beautiful weather and the swaying tree branches. "I like this more, I think." She stops. You turn, seeing her suddenly shift a bit shy. "It's nice, this..."

"Oranges are nice and all..."

Jieun giggles. "No, silly," Jieun purses her lips. "This. Me and—"

"Hey, you two! Having a nice time!?" Sangsoon calls out to the pair of you from a few rows down. In unison, the two of you turn to him, to his big, smiling face, and then watch as Hyori hits him on the shoulder and admonishes him for interrupting. For a second it looks as though Jieun is blushing as she looks away from his gaze and towards the ground, scratching her brow, hand almost acting as a shield.

"We should get back."

"Yeah, I'm all orange'd out," you say, holding up the full basket.

~~~

You had spent the afternoon away from the house, which was probably for the best, spending some time in reality instead of this strange new world where you're suddenly hanging out with IU. The friend, your old university colleague and Jeju local was eager to catch up. Despite a minor disagreement—or two, or ten—he took it in good sport. Before nightfall though, you had returned and had just taken a shower.

There's a knock at the door, so you quickly pull on a shirt and open it to find Hyori on the other side. "Hey stranger," she follows your gesture and walks into the room before perching on your bed. "How was your time today?"

You close the door behind you. "Fun. I spent some time catching up with some friends."

"And making a new friend?"

A small nod. "I enjoyed myself today, it was all quite... different than what I had been doing. It was..." You weren't really sure how to follow up.

"I get it." Hyori leaned back on her hands. "But Jieun really seemed to have a lot of fun today."

You're stuck in this awkward silence, not wanting to say anything stupid but also refusing the play it down.

Hyori takes mercy on you. "Anyway," she pushes herself to her feet. "We're eating outside again, barbecue, come join us."

A smile appears, an acceptance of the invitation. She watches it come out and nods at it, as if pleased with your decision. And with a brief smile, she leaves the room and you're left alone. You leave the room.

You arrive on the back porch and watch the scene from a distance. Jieun sits by the fire in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, looking so naturally good it could take the breath of anyone who stared long enough. Her legs look spectacular in shorts, her chest looks perfect through a white t-shirt, and she looks breathtaking right now—in this light and under these circumstances. The fire-pit burns again and as it does, Hyori and Sangsoon stand near the grill, their backs turned and talking among themselves. By Jieun's feet rests one of Hyori's dogs, sound asleep.

As soon as your foot hits the grass to start walking over, Jieun turns to see you approaching and a radiant smile cuts right through your defences, punching into your heart and embedding a spear made entirely out of a whole array of butterflies. "I was beginning to think you wouldn't join us," she teased with a flick of her hand.

"Good to know I'm missed when not around."

Jieun is about to say something but appears to bite her tongue and look back at the fire. There's a space next to her on the little log chair she sits on, though you think it too presumptuous to sit right by her so soon, and take the little wooden armchair opposite instead, crossing your legs and stretching, pulling your phone from your pocket, to check for notifications. None. You stare at it anyway.

There's a solemn silence for a while, the cooking of meat and the playful bickering of the couple by the grill and the occasional chatter amongst the other guests. This leaves you and Jieun, slowly drinking from your glasses, separated by the fire.

After some time, the food begins to come in batches, and you eat with everyone else. The group shares the tale of their expedition to the oranges this morning, like how Hyori claims she found the largest orange of the day only for the young couple to later find and present a larger specimen. Some of the others share how they went into town and saw some old houses, or an old shrine, visited the beach and splashed around in the water and a few others sit and listen quietly, nursing their drinks.

Eventually, you begin to grow drowsy and stifled by the warm heat of the fire, a blanket that draws everyone closer, too close.

You stand, pat yourself off and let your gaze rest on the fire, then speak to no one in particular. "I'm going for a walk, thank you for the food," you say as you bow your head to your hosts.

"So late at night?" Jieun asks from her perch.

"Got a bit too warm is all, fresh air would be nice."

Jieun glanced down at the fire and her eyes shot up at you. "Let me join you, keep you company."

Hyori and Sangsoon share an understanding glance, before Hyori says, "Be careful you two."

Jieun stands up. "Soonshim can come with us, can't you Soonshim? You'll keep us safe." She bends down to stroke her behind the ears, and she lazily raises her head and grumbles in that cute way that animals do. She happily climbs to his feet and yawns.

Off you went, walking the stone path. Up a gentle incline before cutting left towards a quiet path cutting through some trees. For a while, the night is filled with the sound of rustling trees and the snapping of fallen sticks underfoot. That's all until Soonshim leads your party off onto an even more remote dirt track.

"Now where are you going?" Jieun coos playfully, not expecting much of a response.

"She probably knows this area better than we do," you suggest with a smile and Jieun returns it. You seem to bring a lot of smiles out in each other. Soonshim appears to have a destination in mind, the dog bounds along the track and you follow, the path becomes more and more unstable, and the darkness of the evening isn't doing either of you any favours.

Jieun steps up onto a stone in the path and she slips, wobbling from the momentum of the step with a small yelp and you catch her immediately in your arms.

"Careful," you chuckle nervously. She doesn't move, but relaxes into your chest, closing her eyes. You have her. You keep her steady, her breathing is fast and short. It slows and slows, her fingers lightly clasping at your arms. She relaxes and her voice comes at near a whisper.

"Thank you."

And then, slowly, she lifts herself away without looking you in the eye and lets out a small cough. She starts to walk again, this time holding onto your hand—for safety. You smile at the touch and gently squeeze back, taking care as you descend and traverse the difficult ground. Soonshim still leads onward, barking and jumping in her bounding little way and occasionally waiting for the slow, careless, humans to catch up as she heads uphill.

Before long you come to a clearing at the top which blesses you with a view of the rolling countryside, bathed in moonlight, and a peaceful soundscape, far removed from anything but the sounds of nature. Back down the hill, over the trees, you can see the roof of the house, and the glowing of the fire out front.

Soonshim finds a nice place for a rest, and the Jieun leans her head into your shoulder and says quietly, "Tell me something that no one knows."

Soonshim rests. Jieun looks expectant, and suddenly, you're struggling. There must be something interesting. No. Something cute or funny? No, nothing seems quite right. And yet her eyes are searching for answers. The seconds pass and you rack your brain trying to remember, going into the darkest of dungeons in your memories, hoping something would come.

"Something that no one knows," you mutter to yourself. Jieun leans closer. Something that no one knows. Soonshim yawns, laying her chin on her paws as her tail softly hits the grass beside her. "I had this girlfriend, a few years ago. She was kind and sweet and loving."

"What's not to love about that?"

"Ah well." You snickered, a chuckle under your breath. "When she's doing the same thing with another guy it kind of takes the shine off a little."

"Ah... I'm sorry," Jieun reaches out, resting a consoling hand on your forearm. Her grasp is delicate. "It must have been tough. How did you find out?"

"They were bad at hiding it. When I did confront her, she didn't deny it."

Jieun lets out a small breath, something between a gasp of surprise and a grunt of disbelief. "Wow. So did it end, like, there and then?"

"Yep. Walked out and have been free ever since. Never looked back." You smile, looking out across the plains below.

"Do you prefer to be free? Not tied down and always going after adventure?"

"If I wasn't free, I wouldn't be here. If I was tied down I would never make this trip."

"Doesn't answer my question," Jieun jokes then pokes you in the ribs.

"No. Not really." A period of silence follows as you take in the fresh air and the scenery before you. The sound of crickets rings out and the breeze swirls its way through the brush. Jieun seems to ponder on what you had just told her. Maybe it doesn't make much sense, or maybe you just came off a little weird. You can't be sure what she is thinking.

But speaking so plainly is a freeing feeling, and telling her feels right. As though the idea that she may judge you is, not unthinkable, but far more remote of a possibility.

"I broke up with someone too. Not long ago,. It wasn't anything as tragic as yours, but, we just didn't have the time to be together." She brushed at a stray hair, caught by the wind.

"I'm sorry." You turn to face her and she meets your eyes for only a moment before she turns to Soonshim who lifts her head and tilts it with the look that only a dog's can express. "She's beautiful," Jieun mutters softly, nodding her head to the sleeping canine, which wagged its tail at the acknowledgement.

"Yeah. She is beautiful." You say, not taking your eyes off of Jieun.

She draws back her gaze, and looks up, with a little confusion, eyes glimmering like gemstones, searching your own as she draws nearer and nearer to you. "Are you talking about Soonshim, or—"

"You."

Lee Jieun steps into the kiss, onto her tiptoes and lifts herself as high as she can to press her soft lips on yours. Your heart seemed to miss a beat, or five, as you leant into it, capturing her lips with your own. You pull your arms around her, in a tight embrace and her heartbeat thunders against you.

And when Jieun pulls her lips away from yours, you lean in again, capturing her lips once more. You cradle the back of her head and guide the kiss, ever so slightly. Just to be closer to her, only a little closer. But enough. When the kiss ends this time, you sigh.

"We shouldn't," Jieun's whisper sounds so vulnerable, her mouth, too lonely for the words. "We should—" kiss again? "go back."

"I'm sorry, I—" Jieun cuts you off with a small kiss, a peck.

"Don't be." She keeps hold of your hand, leading you towards the path and pulling you gently downhill. "We should just get back."

~~~

It's on the porch of the house, where you stood just a couple of hours ago, staring at her, that she says, "Good night." And there's this look in her eye that screams the words 'I want to kiss you again'. Though you both know that this isn't the time or the place.

"Good night," you give her a smile. "Sleep well."

"You too." And then she's gone, Jieun and Soonshim slip in through the back door and you head to the front to get into your room. The emptiness of the room is a strange departure from the warmth of company you've felt all evening. And as you drop onto the bed, sleep does not come quick—it refuses.

Instead, as you toss and turn in the cool, crisp linen, you imagine Jieun's lips meeting your own again, and again. Soft and pliable, sweet and willing, as inviting as can be. Then you argue with yourself that it was an accident, just a product of the moment rather than anything deeper, but... not really. Not when it happens like this, not with her so eager, as eager as you were, in equal measure. And that has a price. The whole night, turning endlessly.

You wonder if she struggles just the same.

The morning rolls around and so does the bad news. There's someone completely unrecognisable helping prepare breakfast, a change that goes unaddressed by your hosts for what seems like the longest time. It's only when they join you at the table that they make the announcement, "Jieun has a concert, back in Seoul, she'll be returning tomorrow evening." Hyori pulls a chair and sits down at the table, pulling a full plate closer to her.

Sangsoon helps himself and settles next to Hyori, asking casually, "Did you and Jieun go for a walk yesterday?"

You pause, trying not to sound like a blushing teenager. "Uh, yes. Yes we did, it's very pretty out there, with some really nice views. Soonshim led us up a hill."

"Didn't see much of you afterwards," Hyori teases, "did we?"

"I was tired after we got back so I just crashed. Tough work walking those hills."

The two hosts glance at each other and chuckle. "Well, Soonshim will be happy, she loves walks. Thanks for looking after her."

You give a small, simple nod. "Of course."

For the next ten minutes, you pick at some of your food but feel so restless the entire time. By the time you stand up from the table, Sangsoon looks a bit surprised. "Somewhere to be?"

"Just want to use the bathroom," you say, with a hasty smile.

There, you stare in the mirror. And it hits you. Hard, right in the stomach, like a heavyweight boxer throwing a right hook, or a hammer kick from a martial artist. A surge of feeling that cuts through you and shatters any façade of composure. Of control. You're flustered. Nervous, even. Like an anxious teen in a school hall during prom.

It's an alien, almost nauseating, feeling, something like vertigo.

~~~

"Can I get you anything else?"

"No, that's everything." Jieun answers, before pulling closed the divider of her first-class pod, shielding herself from the prying eyes of those seated nearby. She places her headphones on and peels into her orange, holding a large section up to the light, before gently placing it in her mouth.

The flight is short to Seoul, but it's a lonely one—without him. She can still feel him though, the kiss that happened at the hilltop. And all the dread that comes with it. Jieun knows full well just how wrong it was, and yet she also knows just how right it felt. Normally, by now, all of her thoughts are on the performance ahead. All her little anxieties arise from the finer details and how she strives to perfect them. Now, though, is the exception.

The ride from the airport to Yonsei is a little different. Though she had to put on her best actress face in the airport, for all the fans and the cameras, but here, alone and safe, she's given the time and the space she needs, but it doesn't bring the relief she expected. Now her thoughts are just swirling, again. Swirling and storming and churning.

Her manager is talking, about this and that, all probably important—but she'll never know.

'It's just going to go down the same road again, another relationship that takes a backseat to my career.'

Jieun groans internally. 'He's such a nice person though.'

"Jieun?"

It catches her off guard. Her heart pounds in her chest, startled, not so much because she was called upon, but the direction it was in. "Huh?"

"So, what do you think?" the manager asks. "Are you even listening? This is what you wanted right?"

Jieun closes her eyes, bringing her index finger up and pinching the bridge of her nose, running her hands down the contours of her face, then forcing a small, tired grin on her lips, she mutters, "Yeah, sorry, I'm listening."

~~~

It's been a strange couple of days. You spent as much of it as you could away from the house. Out in Jeju doing the most random of things to take your mind away from her. Though that's pretty tough when you're walking the street and she's on poster after poster and then you dip into a convenience store only for it to be playing her music.

Coming back for lunch wasn't any better, with Sangsoon and Hyori often teasing or giving the odd hint here and there. You sat down, not able to enjoy the food properly and excused yourself when your appetite gave out on you.

That afternoon, Hyori sat on the porch and invited you to join her—quiet and away from everyone else.

"You must know it's not easy for someone in Jieun's position to do, to go around kissing anyone like that," she starts and she reaches for the drink, pouring it and handing the glass out to you, and you reach for it, staring down at the liquid and watching the ice cubes swim and then sink.

"She told you?"

"In a sense," Hyori laughs softly and pours the other glass, putting the jug aside and taking up her glass. She leans back on one hand against the wooden board and says, "So, what now, what do you intend to do?"

"Uh, about what?"

Hyori offers a smirk and says, "About her."

"I..." What can you really say here, apart from that you just want her, like probably a hundred thousand other men and women have wanted her since they've first laid their eyes on her. Instead, you sip at your glass.

"Nothing wrong with liking her," Hyori says casually, as if the statement itself isn't fraught with consequence.

"Doesn't matter," is what you offer. "I shouldn't, we're from different worlds."

"Mmmm, yes and no," Hyori sips on her drink. "Listen. People like Jieun, like me, the reality we live in isn't the reality we want. Well, it is, but it also isn't. Because we get what we want but never quite get all we want."

You narrow your gaze in confusion. "Sounds like a riddle."

"Think of it like this. When we're on TV or we're on a stage or at a photoshoot or whatever, it's like we're living in the clouds, are you with me?"

"I think so."

"Well being up in the clouds is amazing, you get to do great stuff, fun stuff. But there's always a danger of floating away. So there's the other half of our life, on the ground. It's what keeps us sane. Balanced."

"So you have this double life," you offer as an interpretation.

"It's not that drastic but, yes." Hyori swirls the contents of her glass, taking a quick sip to wet her mouth. "Don't mistake it though, the ground is the more important half, because, in that part, we meet the people who mean the most to us. But, listen to me, when you date someone like Jieun, you're dating that half of her life. The ground. The clouds are for her alone."

"So you have to let her live up in those clouds without you?"

"Did she tell you about her ex?"

"She said they didn't have the time to be together."

Hyori nods. "If she told you that, then you've confirmed it for me. She likes you. But, now you have to think, this past twenty-four hours, there's going to be a lot more of this. Sitting at home while she's performing in front of thousands, living in the clouds. You have to ask yourself, can you handle it? Are you willing to accept it? All the pros and cons."

There's nothing for a few moments, the pair of you sit there silently, before you mutter, "That's kind of hard," and Hyori laughs under her breath as she tilts her head and agrees.

"Yeah. That's why not every relationship survives. Not in this business. But I'm doing you the favour of warning you in advance."

"Thank you."

"Speak of the devil." The sound of a car draws closer until it stops. Some commotion arises and then slowly, she appears. In all her beauty and grace. Hair blowing softly in the breeze, her yellow jumper and skinny jeans hugging her hips perfectly, her beauty as sharp and clear and as immediate as ever. There's no way to take it all in with just one look, especially with the sun low on the horizon behind her. You're mesmerised, to say the least, and even more so as her shy smile reveals itself.

"Evening," Hyori stands, opening her arms for Jieun and wrapping her in a hug, kissing her on the cheek. They exchange some words you can't hear but you watch the movement of the mouths, the way the body moves. Then you turn back to your drink, pretending to watch the dregs swim at the bottom of the glass. You can feel her now, or at least smell the light fragrance, you don't need to turn, as a shadow descends on the side of your head.

"Hi."

"Hey," you say as you draw your eyes slowly up her body. "How was the concert?"

"Good, thank you." Her smile widens.

"You must be tired after all that," you follow, and she nods in agreement and glances to the far end of the veranda.

"And hungry. Will you come inside for dinner with me?" She's smiling now, an infectious, radiant smile, that grows.

"Of course."

You move indoors, you and her at the table. You use the conversation over dinner to ask her about the concert, and her life as a celebrity. From asking her how it feels to be up there singing to hearing stories about some of the craziest fans, the sorts of weird things they do and the lengths they'll go to.

"Some even claim to know me," she laughed, "and try and ask me questions or say certain things and act as though we've known each other for years."

"It sounds surreal," you say and Jieun leans in with a curious look.

"It's been days and you haven't asked about this before now, not at all, so what's got you so interested?" she teases.

"Well, I guess I just wondered what life is like up in the clouds."

Jieun narrows her eyes at you for a moment before chuckling a bit, and leaning in further and muttering, "Hyori. She spoke to you about this didn't she?"

"Just a little, yes. While you were gone."

"I knew it, she likes this little analogy." Jieun folds her arms, rests them on the table and stares right into your eyes, asking "What else did she say...?"

"Not a lot."

"Oh god." Jieun throws herself back against her chair, she brings her hands up to her mouth, with the sleeves of her jumper over her hands and looking like she wants to bury herself into the palms of her hands. "Ugh, that girl. What else did she say?"

"Really, not much else," you answer.

"Right." She sits forward again, not raising her eyes. "Listen, while I was away, I was thinking about what happened."

"And..."

"And," Jieun lets out a huge exhale, the stresses and fears seem to leave along with that breath. "She told you, and you haven't run away. Or at least, not yet. You're still here, we're here. Now. Just sitting, having a chat and eating some noodles."

"The noodles are really nice," you say and Jieun laughs.

"See, you make me laugh, and it makes me all confused, in the best way possible. And I know this isn't the time or place, but—"

"Yes, Jieun."

"You don't even know what I was going to say."

"I'd really love to see where this takes us," you say as you rise from your seat, rounding the table without breaking eye contact. You gently take her hand.

Jieun looks a bit hesitant, stares at the ground and mutters under her breath, "Where does that road end, you know? Look at everything I'm asking, of you, I don't want you to get hurt because I may not be able to give enough."

"I get it Jieun, the ground and the clouds," you whisper as you guide her up from her seat to stand in front of you. "I'll be on the ground. Sometimes you'll be in the clouds."

Jieun collapses her cheek against your shoulder and releases a deep sigh. "Why are you so nice to me?" Jieun sniffles.

"Because you deserve it Jieun."

Her heart thumped so hard, so rapidly, and tears flooded her eyes, making the world wavy and foggy. She fights the tears. And she finds the warmth of you, she pushes her face hard into your chest, inhaling deeply, and feeling an inexhaustible source of strength flow through her, bolstering her. She presses her body into yours.

She reaches her head up and kisses you deeply. Your hands cup her cheeks and your tongues meet for the first time. She leans in, slipping her hands to your neck, and curling her fingers tightly. Her lips are so warm and soft, her whole body melts, and the two of you press against one another. A fire burns and every nerve thrills in anticipation. Her breathing increases as a raging fire churns within.

When the kiss breaks, you murmur against her lips, "Should we, go somewhere that isn't the kitchen?"

Jieun nods, her hands still firmly clutching the collar of your shirt. "The food can wait."

As the door to your room closes, you begin unbuttoning your shirt, the last of them dropping open as she leaps at you, her lips attacking your neck with soft, wet, urgent kisses as she clutches you like her life depends on it. And you have her back, reaching around and holding her, carrying her, stumbling through the dark and onto the bed. You hit the mattress, and your grip relaxes as she leans back and grabs the hem of her sweatshirt. Jieun lifts it, dragging it up her body until the garment is sent to the floor and there it lay, forgotten.

For a moment she seems hesitant, sitting above you. It's a strange mix of tension and passion, the way her fingers trace lines on your chest, and you sit in awe of this beauty above you. The urge to reach for her, to take her, becomes overwhelming, as your gaze trails up her tight, toned stomach, and lingering over her small chest, clothed in black and wrapped snug. You stare and she shivers at the intensity of that look and bites at the corner of her lip.

"This is okay?" Jieun asks softly.

"I'm here for it if you are," you tell her, reaching and cupping her breast in your hand, as though it belonged there. That sends a new chill through her.

"Okay." Jieun nods her head a little. The word shakes a little with a quiver of breath and she lowers her head to meet her lips on yours, softly brushing at first but gradually more insistent. Her tongue prods and finds yours, and she pushes you down by the shoulders, forcing herself to lie on top of you and hold you there. And the kiss seems endless.

You run a hand up the soft skin of her back, up the divot of her spine until your fingers come to her bra strap, and with a small break in the kiss, you murmur against her lips. "Can I?"

She kisses you while she nods. Your fingers search a little, finding the clasp, you tug, letting the bra slip. And, with one small gentle tug on her shoulders, the strap of the bra slips off and it's only her hand rushing up to cover her modesty that keeps it in place.

You wrap your arm around her and roll her over onto her back, and as she lay against the covers, you're over her, looking down at how she still holds her arm over her tits. "I want you to see all of me," she whispers.

"I want to see all of you."

And with that admission, her arm, drops slowly away, pulling the black bra with it and exposing those two perfect, beautifully formed tits. With the lightest, most delicate touch, you brush your thumb across one and feel it spring a little at your touch. The nipples are erect, Jieun leans and looks to the side as you bend down, taking one nipple into your mouth. You flit your tongue across the little pink pebble of flesh and watch Jieun's face.

The muscles around her eyes tighten, and she lets out the sexiest little whimper. The reaction makes you want her more and you begin swirling and caressing her tit with the soft, flat of your tongue, and sucking her nipple into the warm recesses of your mouth.

She cries out and gasps. "God that feels good..." her hands clawing through your hair and her fingernails scraping through. Her moan spurs you onwards as you plant a trail of kisses, switching between which sensitive nub you suck, tug and tease. "Don't stop," she pleads.

"Not when you taste so good."

"I can't believe we're... that you're here, with me."

Your hand finds hers, lacing the fingers into hers you smile, push her hand into the bedsheets and stare up into her glimmering eyes as you run your tongue once more around her nipple. "You're perfect Jieun, I can't believe I'm so lucky."

Jieun arches her back a little, closing her eyes and exhaling a breath. "Stop it, that's not true," she giggles in between whimpers, "stop it, you know it's not— oh g-god..."

You're moving your kisses up over her collarbone and to her neck, and settling your body down between her legs, resting between her thighs. Jieun clamps her legs tightly around you as you keep sucking and biting at her neck, nibbling ever so lightly on her ear. "And now," you whisper huskily, into her ear, "I have you pinned beneath me..."

"Oh, fuck, yes," Jieun squirms. She desperately pushes your shirt off your shoulders and then runs her hands over your body. "I like this feeling." She's pushing her hands between your stomachs, pulling open your jeans and pushing them down off your ass.

You return the favour, bringing her into a kiss and reaching to pull her tight jeans open. She lifts her hips to aid you, allowing you to slip them off her hips. You don't have a chance to pull them all the way off, too heavy in your kiss and grinding yourself between her legs.

You reach and pull at her and she breaks the kiss with a soft moan as she grabs your shoulder and shifts her hips. The movements press you into her a little more, and her head goes to the pillows behind her head, tilting back. The angle reveals the beautiful soft and slender curve of her neck and you go at it again, kissing and biting, nibbling and licking, running the tip of your tongue over the hot, smooth expanse and smiling as she wraps her arms and legs around you as tightly as her lips when you kissed her.

"I want you," she gasps. "I want you. Now."

You put an arm under her and pull her up until you're on your knees and she's straddling you. She reaches down, hands into your pants and takes your thick cock in her fist. That first touch. Her soft fingers are on your hardness. It's a rush that hits both of you and suddenly you're kissing again as Jieun awkwardly strokes your length, trying to tease you out.

You decide to make it easier and sit her on the bed, still kissing her intermittently as you stand and push your clothes to your ankles. Standing before Jieun, the most desirable woman you've ever been fortunate enough to touch, you suddenly feel a primal sense of arousal hit.

You lay her back again, and peel those jeans off her slender legs. Slowly down her thighs as they spill out of the denim, then all the way off, until she's in nothing but a pair of black panties, and you're stood over her, naked to the air. Jieun sits up to you and brushes your chest, feeling the shape of the muscles and kneeling back on her haunches, you take her mouth again, sliding your hands up her hips and feeling those supple breasts once more. "Jieun, you're so hot."

Jieun bites your lip, and throws her leg around you, drawing you down and gasps sharply as you find your cock grazing across the smooth expanse of her panties and press at her entrance, almost bursting with desire. Jieun pulls at your hips, urging you between them. She grunts with effort, biting at your neck. "You're everything I have ever wanted."

There's a pause that's filled only by your shared, short panting. This is where it happens. It's more than want and need. The quiet acknowledgement, the long silence, you stare into Jieun's eyes, and both of you nod your heads a fraction, agreeing without speaking a word. You push her panties to the side. Then the contact, the softness and the wetness of her opening as the tip of your cock pushes her apart.

"Oh, shit!" Jieun lets out the involuntary profanity as she claws at your back and moans into the crook of your neck.

It's amazing. Unbelievably, spectacularly, amazing. Her tightness stretches with only minimal effort, and you let out a strained breath.

"Oh my god," Jieun has her fingers clasping tightly to your shoulder and mouth open with pleasure. Her chest rises and falls rapidly as she writhes under you. "You feel amazing... holy shit," she curses.

"Jesus Jieun," you grunt as you sink down just that extra inch, enveloping your full length inside her. "You feel perfect, I could stay here forever."

Jieun does the best she can with that compliment, grinning through clenched teeth. "Thank you. I'm—" She cuts her own sentence short by gasping and reaching higher and taking a handful of your hair in her palm, her nails digging into your skull. "Do it." She orders you and the tone is coated in lust. "Please."

And so you do. Pull out to the sound of her sharp expectant inhale, and back in as she moans her lungs empty, the noises making it impossible to remain idle. Soon enough you have a rhythm of slow, measured thrusts, and are gasping in tune to her beautiful mews.

"God, you feel so damn good," Jieun manages, and she follows by adding, "A little harder, I love it."

It's like that for a few minutes. Jieun's pleasure is palpable with every movement of the bed springs and groans. Though it can't be any louder than the voice in your mind. This is actually happening. Fucking IU, of all people, is on her back beneath you, her beautiful body reacting to your every movement. She reaches for her breasts, rubbing them and pinching at the hardened points and begging, "More, please more," and you give.

Jieun brings her leg higher, arching her back and urging you further into her pussy, driving herself into you with equal force. This time her cry is louder, less controlled and broken by the beat of your bodies against each other, the sound of sex becoming a background harmony. Her feet stretch out behind you, her heels dig at the small of your back and her head falls back on the bed.

"I don't know how... how long I can..." Jieun breathes out. Her leg suddenly jerks and her entire body tenses. "Oh, shit."

You know what's coming, that doesn't make the feeling of her tightening around you any less shocking. She's shivering, gasping for breath and squeezing her eyes tightly, her body growing taut like a string pulled between fists.

"Fuck, Jieun, are you gonna—"

"Yes. Yes." Her entire body convulses. Her fingernails ripping lines up your back, Jieun arches from the bed, a sharp keening whimper from between her lips, followed by a series of high-pitched, short cries.

You're falling into the sheets beside her and pulling her on top of you. Seamlessly you move together, and she's riding you now, throwing her head back. You're lying there and she's a sight to behold. Her petite frame rolls and her toned, lithe muscles shift beneath her smooth skin. Every motion carries her hips as she fucks you.

Her breasts rise and fall, her hands flatten themselves on your chest as she holds herself up, bouncing herself on your cock with insistent determination. Jieun slides her palms upward, bringing them to your shoulders and lowering her chest, you reach to cup her tits, squeezing firmly and a sparkle glimmers in her eyes.

"You're so hard," Jieun purrs.

"You look so good on me, feel it too."

A smile flashes across her lips and the muscles clench,. You drag your hands across the perfect curves, feeling her sides, her ass, sliding back to take two, firm handfuls, pulling her into every movement. Your arms and legs beginning to tingle with your release, and you're losing all feeling other than her silken embrace.

Then you see her grimace and twist her body, breaking again for you. She falls against you and grinds out her orgasm. She quivers over you like a leaf in the wind. You hold her hips steady and stroke her skin as she returns from her high.

"Sorry," she moans a drawn-out apology. "Wanted you to cum, but, I can't..."

You hold her, rising from the bed, "Don't worry, Jieun, I've got this." You lift her and place her onto her side, thighs together, knees together, you push them up to meet her chest. Her perfect ass and thighs are on show, begging for you to slip back inside. She twists her body to watch you lean over her and push her knees into the bed.

You thrust into her, slipping under that one ass cheek, past those moist panties and into her pussy again. Jieun moans aloud again, and the sight of your cock slipping into her, the feel, is mesmerising. Jieun squeals a note.

The feeling, after only a few short thrusts, builds rapidly. And while a part of you wishes to hold back for her, make her cum over and over, she's far too sexy to deny yourself your sole need. Jieun moans and clenches again then cries out, "Please!" Her eyes watching you drive in deeper. And you lose it. The pressure breaks within, you bask in the sights, sounds, and feelings, and let it overwhelm you. "Inside, it's safe."

You spasm and with a deep thrust into her, your cum pours. Thick. Heavy, plentiful spurts as you cling to her trembling body. A final, ragged cry slips past your lips. Energy drained from you, into her, and you near-collapse against her sweat-kissed body.

You slip out of her, collapsing behind her and spooning her trembling body close, you drop kisses across the soft surface of her bare shoulder and take a tight grip on her small, perky tits. She whispers, "That was amazing."

"Tell me about it. The best."

She rolls her head and glances at you. "No, I mean, really, thank you. You were..." she sighs dreamily. "I didn't think it was possible to feel like that."

"We fit well, Jieun," you tell her softly. "There's no need to ever thank me. You really are special."

"Saying things like that," she sobs lightly. "You better be careful or you're going to mean a lot to me."

Your breathing seems loud in the sudden quiet, and you say, "I'd like that Jieun, to matter to you. Being important to you. It'd make me happy."

She is silent for a long moment, staring straight ahead. A single, happy tear rolls from her eye, onto the bed, and then sleep takes over. It is like a force sweeping you into the deepest darkness. It seems to happen between one breath and the next. One moment you're lying next to the most beautiful woman in the world, in the most euphoric, blissful post-coital state. In the next, your eyes blink open, and you're sprawled on your back, alone in the bed.

Her perfume hangs faintly in the air. Like a half-forgotten dream. An unintelligible whisper in the corner of your ear. "Goodnight," she had murmured at some point, in that instant between slumber and consciousness. But as your eyes scan around, her absence, her presence, seems like a dream. Like a mirage. As if she's always been this transient figure in your life. You fall into the pillow.

Then, just as sleep begins its second embrace, there's a knock at the door. There's a pause before a quiet voice speaks, "You awake?"

You sit up in a rush. "Come in," you reply, and Hyori enters.

She cuts right to the chase, as seems to be her way. "Last night, did you two? Wait, don't answer. I can feel it. You did."

"We did."

She walks closes the door firmly behind her, ensuring privacy. "I knew it as soon as she started acting shy this morning. I swear sex is the only thing that makes her shy. Funny little mannerism." Hyori takes a deep breath. "But listen, and listen close, okay?"

You nod for her to go ahead, but instead of going on, she sits down, gathering her thoughts.

She looks at you for a long time and says, "If this, whatever this is, is going to continue, you need to be prepared. It's going to be a mess. You need to hide it, and I mean really hide it, from everyone. Think how nuts the press will go."

You open your mouth to talk but she raises a finger.

"Hear me out. You have to remember that. This can't be normal, it will probably never be normal. That girl is special and this whole country knows it. There will always be cameras. And there will be times when you miss her because she's away. Sometimes for days or weeks and it's not the end of the world, because she has her job, and her fans depend on it. And as I'm sure you saw at dinner the other night, she does too, she loves her career."

Hyori sighs and rubs her forehead. "I know this seems a lot. You have known each other barely a week and I'm piling this onto you, but you need to know what you're getting into."

You smile. "I get it."

"You don't. Trust me. Not until you've lived it. Look, Jieun's an amazing girl. I like you, she likes you, a lot. I think you can make this work." She takes a big breath and says, "Welcome to this weird fucking world."

You chuckle quietly and nod in thanks.

"Now, if you're wondering where she has gone, she's out picking some flowers for the side dishes for later. They're recording something for the show right now but you can go out and join her in ten minutes, if you like?"

"That'd be great."

Hyori leaves and true to her word, when you venture downstairs and out onto the garden. Jieun's knelt along the rows. Her hair blows in a gentle breeze, and with the flowerbeds just in front, she is a blessed sight for tired eyes.

You go to her and ask, "Working hard?"

"Hey, you woke up," she beams at you.

"Had a chat with Hyori, too."

"Was it alright?" Jieun's face turns pale and worried, and her voice drops to a whisper. "She didn't try to get in your head, right?"

"It was fine, Jieun, she did give me the talk, though. A warning and a blessing, I think."

"Any regrets?" Jieun asks, timidly.

"What? No. God no. None at all. Actually, the only thought I had was if you would like to eat alone tonight? Just you and me, and then maybe we can go on another walk together, I enjoyed that."

"I'd love that," she says, her voice shaky, before a warm smile grows on her face.

"So, can I help you with the flowers?"

[blkkizzat]

☠︎︎ THRILLING GHOULS & SMOOTH CRIMINALS ☠︎︎

Halloween is my fav holiday and Horror is my fav movie genre so how could I not participate in a SPOOKY KINKTOBER!

update 9/15/24: im going to finish this list this year! just revamped the masterlist.

All inspired by my favorite horror villains!

song inspo: Thriller & Smooth Criminal cw: Blood play might be heavy in a few of these. Dubcon or Noncon in most of these but the reader will enjoy/consent by the end. Death but only of minor/NPC no name characters(ie, your fuckass bf, bitchy chem professor, next door neighbor, mailman, etc) and manipulation. schedule: gojo > geto > sukuna > nanami tag: will tag works #☾﹒✖☠𝘬𝘪𝘻𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘣𝘦𝘳

❝Girl, I can thrill you more than any Ghoul would ever dare try!❞

FreddyKruger!Sukuna

Kink Tags: Teratophilia, Size Difference, Virgin, Chasity Synopsis: Teens in town have been dying in their sleep from horrible dreams. Hard up virgin Y/N won't take sleeping pills to stop dreaming because she only gets relief in her wet dreams. What will happen when Sukuna (true form) enters them? wc: ?

Sadako!Geto

Kink Tags: Voyerism, Squirting, Overstimulation Synopsis: Camgirl!Reader hasn't been able to make herself squirt yet and is teased by her chat. She buys a new toy and downloads a random porn an anon user sent her "guaranteed to make you squirt" but is it just a normal porn? Or is there something more sinister on it? wc: ?

Werewolf!Toji

[Part 1 ღ Part 2] Kink Tags: Breeding, Dacryphilia, Aphrodisiac  Synopsis: Catching him in a lie, you suspect your boyfriend Toji is cheating on you. Where does he keep disappearing to once a month that keeps him away for often days at a time. You're fed up. You've made up your mind this time to follow him but are you ready for what you discover? wc: 10.4k

❝You've been fucked struck by a Smooth Criminal!❞

Ghostface!Choso

[Part 1 ღ Part 2] Kink Tags: Clothed Male/Naked Female, Thigh Riding, Knife Play Synopsis: The university campus is being terrorized by a copycat Ghostface killer. As a popular sorority girl with a dumb jock bf, you are a prime choice to be his next victim especially given how he can't stop thinking about you. But you're no ordinary Sorority Girl bimbo, now are you? wc: 15.4k

Hannibal!Nanami

Kink Tags: Olfactophilia, Body Worship, Menophilia Synopsis: You're immensely grateful for your kind, empathetic and open-minded (not to mention very handsome) psychiatrist Nanami who has gotten you through some very rough patches in your life. However when you show up at his home office for unannounced session and discover him preparing dinner, are you whats next on the menu? wc: ?

InvisibleMan!Gojo

Kink Tags: Mirror Sex, Frottage, Stalker Synopsis: Fed up with his antics and him ignoring you, you breakup with your tech genius boyfriend Gojo. It's been a month and you've started to move on with your life but odd occurrences have been happening around you and you have the feeling you are being watched 24/7. You need a vacay and your friend Shoko offers up her lake cabin. Will you be safe there? Or will whoever is watching you have you right where they want you? wc: ?

BONUS: Free for all section of general Halloween themes if I finish all the rest or need to do a quick drabble to cure writer's block.

*OUT NOW* mlist: That's Not My JJK Man! - teaser

Incubus!Geto - coming soon

The Hills Have Eyes Choso P1 *new*

Why you can’t watch scary movies with JJK men - Drabble, 2k words

Trick or Treat Anthology or Halloween Fluff with JJK Men - Fic 10k

JJK Men Slutty Halloween Costumes - Ask thirst

©blkkizzat 2024. do not steal works or gfx, do not translate.

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 33

part 1 | part 32 | ao3

Chapter 8

cw: period-typical attitudes/language

"Steve," Robin hisses through the phone, and he can practically hear her nostrils flaring. "I have been trapped at Uncle Bobby and Aunt Deb's house for six. days." She drops her voice to a harsh whisper, the tone somehow even more disapproving at a lower volume. "HOW have you not kissed him yet??"

"It's not like I didn't try!" Steve throws his hands up; nearly knocks his broom to the floor. He's finally sweeping up the shards of glass in the living room, because he's tired of wearing shoes in his own house (and because at some point he's going to have to have the kids over whether he wants to or not. He's kind of surprised Erica hasn't shown up demanding to hang Christmas lights yet; that girl is aggressively festive.) "He was all 'ask me in the morning,' so I was gonna ask him in the morning! Not my fault it was Monday morning and his stupid uncle barged in yelling about how he was going to be late for school."

"You really shouldn't call him stupid," she interrupts, "that man is a saint."

"No, you’re right. Wayne's awesome."

It’s true. Wayne walked in on them that morning, like, fully spooning in their sleep — Eddie pressed all along Steve's back with an arm over his waist, their ankles intertwined — and rather than beat Steve's ass and ban him from their house like Steve expected him to, he just awkwardly grunted 'breakfast is ready' and shut the door.

"I'm always right," Robin gloats in his ear.

"You're always the worst."

"You love me." Steve hears shuffling as she adjusts the cord — probably wiggling around to lie on her stomach on the bed and kick her feet up in the air the way she likes — and then she says, "I'm still not seeing how this explains the other five whole days, though."

Jesus. Five whole days. Like she's his unimpressed boss and he’s late with the quarterly reports. "Our schedules kept not lining up! And then he went out of town with Jeff's family for the holiday."

"And you haven't called him?"

Steve glares flatly at the phone; hopes she can feel it through the line. "Literally how would I do that, Robin?"

"Well— I don't know! Maybe..." She hums in thought then snaps her fingers, talking fast. "Ooh! You could ask Wayne for the number? I mean, he'd have to know it in case he needed to reach Eddie, right?"

"Uh huh." Steve loves her solution-oriented brain, he really does, but that's one of the worst ideas he's heard in a while. (And he's including Mike and Dustin's attempted kidnapping last month.) "Yeah, let me get right on that," he snarks, switching the phone to his other ear. "I’ll just call them up and say, 'Hey, Mr. or Mrs. Jeff's Grandparents! This is Steve Harrington, may I—? Oh. Who's Steve Harrington, you ask? Nobody, sir or ma’am, just the kid who stood by and watched while his teammates gave your grandson a swirlie two years ago, so I'm sure he fucking hates me still for that! Anyway, can I please flirt with your house guest now?'"

Robin's whinnying into the receiver by the time Steve finishes his rant, and he begrudgingly laughs along with her, shaking his head as he stoops to pick up the dust pan.

"Okay," she concedes. "You may have a point."

"Thank you."

"But you still have to do something to make up for this when he gets home! Otherwise, he's going to think you're, like, having a straight boy crisis or something and get all weird."

"I'm not having a 'straight boy crisis,'" Steve rolls his eyes. He's having a bisexual boy crisis — at least, according to the three hour phone call he had with Robin the other night (which was humiliating, by the way; he never thought he'd be quietly crying tears of total confusion while saying the words 'I still likes boobies, though' out loud. Jesus Christ. Sexuality is embarrassing.) "And I already have a grand gesture in mind, anyway."

"Oh?" Robin perks up. "Do tell."

"I was thinking we could, like..." Hmm. It's sounding less grand when he goes to say it out loud. "Well, shit, I don't know. I thought we could go to one of his shows together when you get back, but now that sounds kind of lame?"

“No, that's good! That's perfect, actually. We can get a whole group together to go support him, then he'll see that you're not embarrassed to be seen around him with your friends."

"Wait, was that a concern?" Oh, god. He dumps more glass into the trash can; hisses when a little shard gets his fingertip; sucks the wound into his mouth. "Are you sure it’s not-? I mean, I want him to know I mean it in a romantic way, not just a friendly gesture."

"Well, yeah, obviously. But you can't just go by yourself; his bandmates hate you."

Oh, right. “Yeah.” That would be pretty awkward to loiter in a booth by himself all night while Jeff and Gareth and the other kid glare daggers at him. "Do you think you could get a group together? If I do it…"

"…We'll be hanging out with a group of dorky freshman all night?”

"Rude."

"Accurate."

"You know what? Tell Deb and Bobby they can keep you."

"Ah!" Robin gasps. "You would turn to stone like a troll in the sun without me, and you know it!"

Man, he misses her. "Yeah, I know it." He puts the broom back up on the hook. "When ya comin' home?"

"Soon, I hope. I swear to god if I have to hear Deb and Patty fight over the leftovers one more time—!" She cuts herself off with a strangled noise, and Steve laughs at her plight. "Anyway, yes. I'll ask some friends at school—"

"—Is one of those friends Vickie?"

“I can multi-task; shut up."

"I love you," he smiles.

"Love you, too, dingus.” Her voice dips soft and sincere for just a second; there and gone. “Hey, I have to go, Carrie wants the phone.”

“You have too many relatives.”

“Ugh, I know. Okay. Leaving for real now; can't wait to see you for Operation Woo Your Man!”

"Robin, no-!”

“Got to go byeeeee.”

“We’re not calling it that!” He holds the phone out with both hands so he can yell into the receiver. “Robin? Robin!"

The line's already dead.

—

part 34

tag list in separate reblogs under '#trailer park steve au taglist' if you'd like to filter that content. if you want to be added tomorrow please comment and let me know (must be over 21; please either verify in the comment or have your age visible on your blog)

[strawberries-and-summer-days]

hii could you do a fake dating trope with Percy?

FAKE DATING PERCY JACKSON HC'S ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

pairing: percy jackson x unclaimed!fem!reader

warnings: swearing, like one mention of the giggidy + really shitty family members making comments abt weight.

a/n: it actually took me a good three seconds to decide to write this. i love love LOVE the fake dating trope omg. so yes please! im also going on a break tonight and i wanted to post something before i left hence why this is hc and not a fic <33

you had approached percy with the deal of fake dating first

he was convinced you were playing a joke on him and had declined but when you had actually given him a list of pros and cons he was swayed

he agrees really quickly - a little too quickly

when the camp had found out you were dating nobody was shocked cause they'd all been shipping you for years

percy would show up at your cabin every morning to walk you to breakfast no matter what

you would hang out more and more eventually just spending all your free time together

convincing the camp you were dating insisted of hands in back pockets of jeans, random hugs (which you've become quite a fan of), little notes left in each others cabins, and cheek kisses.

you had a "date day" every saturday

that is percy's favourite day of the week.

a whole day hanging out with you? hell yeah

when percy invited you home for the holiday's you agreed but warned him he might have to meet your own family

he agreed and assured you its fine

sally loves you.

like she thinks of you as her daughter and welcomes you with warm hugs and food

when your family demands asks to meet percy you both dress nicely and you brace yourself for an awful night

your family is appalling to you but adoring to percy

they make comments all night "oh, so are you two fucking or what?"

"nope just dating," percy reassures wrapping an arm around you.

he snaps when one of your aunts make a comment about you eating.

"are you sure you wanna eat that y/n? you'll get even more fat."

"shut the fuck up! she has literally eaten nothing all day one fucking cracker isn't going to change that."

he practically drags you out of the house flipping off your family members when the follow you both out.

tears sting at your eyes when you realise how much that meant to you

to cheer you up percy takes you for ice-cream (and you both get double scoops thank you very much) and back home to sally

sally who was warned by percy when you left your house that y/n was in need of some cheering up blue cookies style

you curl up on the couch together and spend the night watching trashy movies and gossiping like teenage girls with sally

percy works up the courage to kiss you the day before you go back to camp on one of your scheduled "date days"

you instantly kiss him back

sally was one hundred percent being told about this from both of you

when you do arrive back percy turns to you and asks why you needed to start fake dating before the holidays

you smile and reveal that you actually didn't need to and you had written it down on your pros and cons list but percy had just started acting boyfriendy

later on that day you realise that somewhere along the way you and percy stopped 'fake dating' and just started acting like yourselves with each other

coincidentally technically 'dating' before you even knew it

a/n pt2: i was so sleep deprived when writing this, so sorry if its crap. i'll be reappearing in a few days after my break (hopefully with two new fics: midnight troubles pt3 and the percy x popstar au)

[delta-pavonis]

Fic Teaser: Parasomnia

(The morning after Special Exhibition, so spoilers there if you haven't read it. This little bit is rated T.)

Dear Dream,

Many would start such a note with “I just couldn't bear to wake you…” but, to be quite honest, I fear it would be too disingenuous given that I did everything short of cracking the smelling salts to wake you before I left. I was worried enough that I checked all your vitals. Upon finding you not dead, nor bradycardic, nor hypotensive, nor hypoxic, nor hypoglycemic, I decided you needed the rest.

Make yourself at home. And I mean that truly. Hell, you know where the toys are kept if you somehow feel the urge. (I, for one, am giving my bollocks and backside a break for at least a few days. No regrets, though.) There is barely any food in the pantry because of my holiday schedule, but there is plenty of coffee and tea. Enjoy anything and everything I have in stock. Or just order takeaway.

I left my car here and took the tube in. Keys are by the front door. You are welcome to drive my car to the hospital or get on a block south and ride in to pick up your car. I told the hospital parking attendant to log it under my name, so no rush getting here, your car is safe.

Rest. Go back to sleep if you want. (Actually, drink a glass of water first. We exerted ourselves rather, ah, thoroughly last night.) Take all the time you need. 

I’ll be back about 6 tomorrow morning. If you're around, we can have breakfast. If not, I hope I’ll see you soon. 

Text me when you are up and moving?

Yours,

Hob

P.S. Last night was fantastic. You are absolutely stunning. xoxo

Dream reads the letter fully three times before putting it down.

“Yours.”

Something in his chest soars.

Mine.

He wants Hob to be his very, very badly. 

Probably in ways Hob very much does not intend. 

Probably. 

Dream drops the note to run his hands over his face and flops back onto the bed. The sheets smell of Hob and he turns to press his cheek into them before he can think better of it.

Oh, yeah, he’s proper fucked. 

One hand wanders down to his abdomen, to above his groin, and for a moment he feels Hob within him again and groans. His other hand lands on the bruising on his shoulder, presses softly, just enough to remind him of Hob's mouth. 

Dream closes his eyes and remembers the taste of Hob, his skin and mouth and sweat and cum. He suddenly misses him, desperately. 

Which is insane. 

They’ve known each other–actually known each other, not the weird parasocial relationship he had with Hob via his TikTok ASMR videos–less than a week. How can Dream possibly miss him?!?

This is just the rush of a new relationship. It will pass. It will pass.

But Dream doesn't want it to pass. 

God, it has been ages since he felt this good. Since he had someone respond to him, to his intensity, in kind, to meet him punch for punch. It is what he thought Corin would be, or Calliope, or, fuck, Nada way back when. He thought they could become this. He and Killala had it for one bright, shining moment, before they burned themselves out.

And yet here Hob is, matching his steps, following his lead in this dance, seemingly without much effort, on the first try. Dream is going to have a whole lot of trouble letting that go, now that he knows it possible. 

Fuck.

Dream grabs his phone from where it was placed on the nightstand next to the letter and looks at the time. 

Which makes him sit up in bed like a shot.

It is almost five in the evening. He has slept for over twelve hours.

[bridenore]

HD longer fics recs : 125k to 150k words

Here are a few recs for fics ranging between 125k and 150k words. 

You can see my recs for fics that have more than 200k here and between 150k and 200k here.

All Our Secrets Laid Bare by @firethesound [149k]

Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.

Any Instrument by @dictacontrion [131k]

Draco Malfoy wouldn’t go back to England for anything less than an exceptional case. Being asked to figure out why Harry Potter can’t control his magic might be exceptional enough to qualify.

By the Grace by @letteredlettered [139k]

Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror.

Dwelling on Dreams by @the-sinking-ship [135k]

Draco thought he could avoid Potter for the duration of his brief return to England. He’d stick to his schedule and be back home in Paris, where he belonged, in a few short months. No trouble at all. He had plenty to occupy him, what with the opening of the London branch of his successful apothecary, his innovative research, drinks with Pansy, a backlog of unread potions periodicals.

Except Head Auror Potter is everywhere — in Draco’s chair, at his door, in his dreams. All six feet of motorbike-riding, combat-boot-wearing, sex-hair-sporting Saviour of the World packed into one unfairly fetching uniform. Potter won’t leave Draco the bloody hell alone, won’t let him breathe, let him forget, let him sleep.

Because no matter how fast Draco Malfoy runs, Harry Potter is always hot on his heels.

Eight Days A Week by @romaine2424 [121k]

This is foremost a love story and second it’s about those growing up years. Becoming adults with adult lives and adult decisions.

Yes, Harry’s a Trainee-Auror and Draco’s a Healer-in-Training after the war. Yes, Harry eventually moves into 12 Grimmauld Place. And, yes, attraction happens between Harry and Draco and they fall in love, but then there’s more. Draco is now free from Voldemort, free from fear of going to Azkaban, free from his Father’s beliefs, and free to be the person, the witch, the woman she always felt she should be. And for Harry, it’s time to lose the shackles of his childhood and discover who he really is and what’s truly important in life. This story begins one year or so after the Battle at Hogwarts and follows their relationship faithfully for two years. The final chapter will take place later in their lives.

This is a positive transition story without body dysphoria, but will contain moments where prejudice and slights arise. This story is categorized as M/F.

25 Holiday Scenes for Eight Days a Week by @romaine2424 [16k]

Eight Days a Week continues with 25 Holiday Scenes. As of now, they are all family oriented. If that changes, I’ll update the ratings! We begin where we left off in the Main Story (before the epilogue), which is a few weeks after Libby’s surgery. They were married in the summer, and Prim, their daughter was born in September.

Every New Beginning by @fencer-x​ [140k]

“You curl your lip and wrinkle your nose and sneer and call me Saviour, yet you only seek my help at the eleventh hour. That’s what’s fucked up, Malfoy.” || Draco Malfoy is dead, and Harry is absolutely totally fine with that.

Graceless Heart by shushu_yaoi_lj [132k]

Harry is lost and broken after the war. He has gone to countless funerals, broken up with Ginny, moved back into Grimmauld Place—which feels darker and dirtier than ever before despite how much he tries to fix it. He feels lonely and desperate, but he won’t ask for help, and he still can’t cry.

When he agreed to help the Aurors at Malfoy Manor over the summer, he thought that he would be breaking dark curses. Harry never thought that he would actually spend his days sorting out dusty books with Draco Malfoy, or teaching him how to cook.

Little by little, as they begin to navigate their life post-war, Harry and Draco become intimate…in more ways than Harry could have ever expected.

A Sword Laid Aside by @korlaena [128k]

When Draco’s cover is blown during a deep undercover operation and the Ministry is compromised, Ron takes Draco to the only safe place he can think of—Harry. Hiding out with Harry Potter, who has been missing from the Wizarding World for almost two decades after a shocking fall from grace, is nothing like Draco thought it would be.

Taking Chances by @gracerene09​  [135k]

After the war, Draco disappeared and started over in America, vowing never to return to Great Britain and the fraught past he left behind. Unfortunately, when his mates convince him to sign up for an exchange programme for the last year of their Auror Training, Draco learns that he doesn’t have much of a choice in the matter.

That Which Divides Us by oldenuf2nb / @dianacopland [126k]

Three years after what would have been their seventh year at Hogwarts, the war between the forces of light and Voldemort’s minions grinds on. But even within the ranks of the Order of the Phoenix there are vast disagreements over what is good for ‘the Chosen One’ and his volatile relationship with Draco Malfoy has many on edge. Sometimes even the best intentions can reap disaster.

This Ain’t the Garden of Eden by @romaine2424  [131k]

In 2020, Hit Wizard Harry is starting to enjoy his life. He’s divorced, and no longer Head Auror. His biggest project these days is trying to remodel 12 Grimmauld Place for him and the kids.

Draco Malfoy is recovering from his wife’s death. But is happy with his Ministry position as Temporary Head of the Department of Intoxicating Substances, and with his son who he adores.

This all changes quickly when Minister Shacklebolt decides not to run for another term. The assumption is that ‘all is well’ in the British Magical world, and that Hermione Granger-Weasley will easily be voted in as the next Minister for Magic. However, Draco knows better. He knows she has a strong competitor who is wooing those who live in Knockturn. And if he wins, the Ministry, and all that has been accomplished the previous twenty odd years, will be destroyed.

To have a Home by Aulophobia [126k]

Not quite a decade after the war, Draco Malfoy was happy with his quiet little Muggle life in Oxford. He had a small group of friends from the university he’d attended, and colleagues from the law firm where he worked as a solicitor. He played folk music on his violin around the city. And he volunteered to provide legal services getting mostly idiot teenagers out of trouble with the law. His life was full. He had no contact with the magical world, and all was the way he liked it. And the feeling of emptiness in his chest, the feeling some part of him was missing, was at least better than the alternative. Or at least it was until the last few months when he kept getting called down to the police station to get Harry Potter out of trouble. Indecent exposure and possession was one thing, but the latest charge was for murder. OR Harry and Draco find each other again after the war in Oxford, a completely non-magical city. Together they solve the mystery of the city which hates all wizards but them.

What We Pretend We Can’t See by gyzym [131k]

Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.

where all the veins meet by eight_of_wands [146k]

It's the summer of 1998. The battle is over, and Voldemort is dead, but Harry still has more questions than answers. Who is he without a piece of Voldemort's soul in his head? What is he supposed to do now?

His friends try to help, but the only thing that can hold his attention—one of the only things that ever has—is Draco Malfoy, out on parole and weirdly hanging around the British Museum.

As they keep running into each other, Harry sees that Malfoy is different, and he wonders if he can be someone else, too.

Featuring rumpled band shirts, poker games everyone hates, fumbling sex, and a Harry going a little mental over how wands even work.

I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!

[bee-saucee]

Hellooo, this is the first time I've done one of these, but I've enjoyed your writing a bunch so I thought I'd give it a try. What kind of couple rituals does Shinkami take part in? For example, ones that they know know that they do, like a kiss before work. And ones that they don't realize, such as who sleeps on what side of the bed? Oh-and Happy New Year in advance 🥳💜

ShinKami Couple Rituals | Headcanons/Oneshot

summary: ShinKami ritual headcanons and a glimpse into their morning routine on a day off

word count: 917

warnings: Kissing and cursing

a/n: This is my first request on Tumblr and I am so so grateful! Your interaction has been so meaningful to me recently! I appreciate you tons. Happy New Year to you as well! It was fun thinking and writing about things I haven’t before so if anyone else has requests I would be so honored! I’ve got some headcanons and a short fic for you. There isn’t much plot but sometimes you just need some good fluff. I hope you enjoy and that I've done this right.

Headcanons

Rituals they're aware of

I think ShinKami are definitely a kiss before they leave for work type of couple! I’m big on ShinKami having schedules that don’t match up at all person but Shinsou was adamant about Denki waking him up to kiss him goodbye when they first started living together. They usually eat dinner together before Shinsou leaves for work so they always share a kiss before he goes. Just a kiss might be an understatement, fervent makeout is probably what it usually turns into before Shinsou is rushing out the door so he isn’t late for work

This is more of a tradition than a ritual but I think ShinKami is really big on holiday traditions, even for the small ones like Talk Like A Pirate Day

Because they usually aren’t together at the start and end of their days together, ShinKami is big on morning and nighttime texts

Rituals they aren't aware of

They just kind of fell into Shinsou on the left side of the bed and Kaminari on the right. Denki tends to roll over on top of Shinsou while he sleeps, though so it doesn’t mean too much

When they’re out in public, Denki tends to wrap his arm around Shinsou’s waist if they’re standing still. He knows that Shinsou can get nervous and subconsciously tries to pull him in closer and protect him

They always let one another try their drink. They love going to cafes together and trying out drinks at restaurants and to them it’s just straight up rude not to share with one another

They pick up each other’s speaking habits rapidly and use them all the time

Oneshot

Kaminari blinks his eyes open and is met with the sight of his boyfriend’s deep eye bags illuminated by his phone. His hair bends at awkward angles in a tangled mess that he knows only comes from a fitful night of sleep.

“Mm, how long have you been awake, honey bear?” Denki asks, scootching in closer to his boyfriend.

“Couple hours.”

Hitoshi places a soft kiss on Denki’s forehead and he closes his eyes. He can feel the warmth of Hitoshi just a little bit better now. The rise and fall of his chest feels more prominent. The soft rustle of breath falling from his nose and drawing back in is loud in the quiet of a rare day off together.

“We should shower,” Denki mumbles.

“Uhuh.”

A beat passes as neither of them moves. Fuck he loves his boyfriend. Hitoshi pulls Denki up so he’s resting right on top of him chest to chest. Did he mention how much he loves his boyfriend?

“You have sleep in your eyes,” Hitoshi says.

“I slept good, dude. Makes sense. Sorry–I know you didn’t sleep well.”

“I never sleep well. It’s okay.”

Denki keeps his eyes closed and Hitoshi softly brushes the sleep from the corners of his eyes. He’d probably get an eye infection or break out from it someday but Hitoshi craved these moments of affection they probably shouldn’t have after a long week of work and Denki was more than happy to oblige. He finally cracks his eyes open and is met with that adorable smile that’s new enough for Hitoshi to not have smile lines. Cementing those lines on Hitoshi’s face was currently the closest thing Denki has to a life mission.

“Hey, you little cutie patootie. You come here often?” Denki says with an exaggerated wink.

“Plenty.”

“I’m going to the mall today with Mina and Kiri. You wanna come? No pressure.”

Hitoshi pulls him in for a quick peck. He really wanted to slob his boyfriend down bad and nasty but now with morning breath was probably not the best time.

“Nah. I wanted to get some reading done today.”

The rejection still stings a bit but with time, he’s getting used to taking that hit for Hitoshi. The strong confirmation that Hitoshi missed him and loves him the moment he gets back from time out more than makes up for it.

“No problem my little love muffin,” Denki says, punctuating it with another peck. “Alright!” He slaps Hitoshi’s bare chest. “It’s shower time for real!”

They begin their usual dance around Hitoshi’s small apartment. Switch between brushing teeth and a morning piss. Convene with a long chat about their day or whatever book Hitoshi has been reading as they shower together. Denki lingers to finish his 12 step skincare routine while Hitoshi shuffles to the kitchen to make his first cup of coffee and start the day off special: mini sausage cut into octopi, fried egg, toast, salad, and apple juice.

Denki bites off one of the tentacles. “Yo, Toshi Woshi.” He taps his feet against Hitoshi’s shins under the table

“Mhm?”

“I like mornings with you.”

Hitoshi turns to fully face him and that smile gets just a little bit closer to developing lines. “Me too, baby.”

“I GOT A HITOSTINO PET NAME,” Denki shouts, almost dropping his mini sausage.

“Don’t do the octopus like that.”

“It’s a necessary sacrifice to show my ass clenching enthusiasm to my lover.”

Hitoshi scrunches up his face. “That makes me sound like some torrid affair.”

“You’re right. My first love is this fried egg. Then L from Death Note. Then you.”

“That’s fair. I’ll take it. At least the affair is torrid.”

“I would never have some vanilla affair with you my sweet pea pod.”

“Damn straight.”

Denki gasps. “We’re gay, Toshi!”

“My bad, my bad. Damn gay.”

Thanks for reading! Check out my masterlist for more.

[chelseachilly]

THIS LOVE - chapter six | i wish you would come back

pairing: ben chilwell x reader

rating: T

word count: 1.8k

summary: ben's in ibiza with his friends, and he can't stop thinking about you...he just needs a little help figuring out why

A/N: long time no see! it's been a crazy few weeks - i moved, then i got sick, then work got super busy - so i'm sorry i haven't had time to update! i'm going on a little holiday this weekend so i wanted to get this out before i did 🩵 i hope you enjoy the switch up to ben's pov ;) xx

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-

Ben should be feeling like he’s on top of the world. He’s staying at a luxury villa in Ibiza with his best mates, coming off a big win and a goal for his country. He’s young, healthy, and successful. He should be enjoying life at the moment.

Instead, he just feels like shit.

He’s felt like shit from the moment you walked away from him at Wembley, declaring the end of your fake relationship. It felt like a knife to the gut when you left him standing there, unaware of what he did wrong, wanting so badly to chase after you but knowing he shouldn’t. 

He sat through an entire, agonizingly long dinner full of people celebrating and congratulating him on the goal, and all he wanted was to pull out his phone and call you to make sure you were okay. 

The next morning, Mason, Harvey, Tom and Woody practically dragged him to the airport and onto the private plane they’d booked weeks ago. It’s a rare week off for both Ben and Mason, so they wanted to make the most of it. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

In the past, a boys week in Ibiza was his idea of paradise. It meant days spent poolside catching up with the lads and relaxing before returning to his busy schedule. And the nights were usually dedicated to going to some swanky club and leaving with a hot girl.

This time, it’s been three days of their five-day holiday, and Ben hasn’t left the villa once. He’s been sulking in his bedroom half the time, and generally bringing down the mood even when he tries to force himself to have fun with the boys. 

He’s sent you a few texts to no response, and he would’ve been genuinely concerned for your safety if it weren’t for the fact that he could still see your Instagram stories - specifically one of you out drinking with some coworkers, including a good-looking guy apparently named Matt, who Ben may or may not have stalked on social media. The bastard - who Ben’s never met - may only have three photos, none of which are particularly offensive, but Ben knows for a fact he doesn’t deserve you.

The morning of the fourth day, he comes out of his room around ten looking for something to eat for breakfast, which he’s slept through every other morning so far, and is instead served with what can only be described as an intervention. 

All the guys are sat around the table, drinking coffee and staring him down as he trudges out in just his boxers - perks of a lads trip - still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. 

“You need to tell us what happened with you and Y/N,” Tom says firmly as soon as Ben sits down at the table and pours himself a cup of coffee.

He just groans and takes a long sip before answering. It’s way too early for this.

“I already told you, I kissed her in front of the cameras, then she got weird and ran off,” Ben repeats the exact same brief recap he gave them on the flight here. “I followed her out and she said she couldn’t pretend to date me anymore and that she needed space.”

“Yeah, we know that part,” Harvey says. “And I get that you’re disappointed she’s bailing on the PR thing-“

“I don’t give a fuck about that,” Ben interrupts, a bit dramatically clanking his mug down on the table. “Look, I’m sorry I’m bringing down the holiday vibe, but my best friend isn’t returning my calls and I’m worried about her.”

Although most of the people at this table could make a case for being Ben’s best friend, and under better circumstances would probably joke offense at his statement, there’s nothing but silence. They all know what you mean to Ben, the place that you occupy in his life and in his heart. It’s…different.

“She’s fine, mate,” Mason says softly after a minute. He’s always the calm, level-headed one in these situations, and although Ben is typically grateful for his presence, he feels white hot rage within himself right now. 

“You talked to her?”

“She texted me back yesterday and said she’s alright and she’s just taking a beat,” Mason responds, speaking carefully as if he’s afraid of saying too much. “Look, I know you feel shitty because you and Y/N got into a fight and she’s not talking to you. But have you thought about why she might have ended this thing?”

Ben runs a hand over his face. “I told you, Mase, I have no bloody idea-“

“Just think about it, Ben,” Tom chimes in. “She agreed to be your fake girlfriend, basically giving up any chance of having her own dating life during that time. Then she gets upset and bails right after you kissed her for show, in front of a bunch of people?”

Ben’s chest tightens as he realizes what his friends are implying, but he immediately shakes his head. It’s ridiculous. There’s no way you, his best friend, have feelings for him.

“No,” he says simply. “That’s not…she doesn’t…she would’ve said something.”

“Why would she?” Harvey asks, raising an eyebrow. “It’s not like you’ve told her.”

Everyone goes silent again as all eyes fall on Ben, who just nearly choked on his coffee as he processed Harvey’s words. 

“What are you-I’m not-“

“Mate, I say this because I care about you,” Harvey continues. “You need to get your head out of your arse and just admit that you’re in love with her already.”

Of course he loves you. His best friend since the age of six, his rock, his favourite person on the planet. He’s loved you since before he knew what love was.

Except he can’t be in love with you, because that kind of love ends. He’s seen it end, when his parents got divorced and when his friends have had devastating breakups. He’s seen people fall in love and fall out just as quickly. And that can’t be you and him. He can’t lose you.

“Harvey, it’s not like that,” Ben says quietly. “She’s…Y/N. She’s my best friend.”

“Yeah, but she’s always been more than that, hasn’t she?” Mason says. “I mean, the bond between you guys, it’s not like what you have with any of us, right?”

“Well, no, but-“

“When I first met you I thought you were already dating her,” Nathan admits. “I told Mase I’d never seen a guy so whipped and when he told me you weren’t together, I was shocked.”

“And you’ve hated all of her boyfriends,” Tom adds. “Even the nice ones.”

“They’ve all been dickheads,” Ben replies, though he knows that’s not entirely true.

“You two have always been more than friends,” Mason continues. “I love you, bro, but she literally took weeks off work to take care of you after you did your ACL. She moved in with you and drove you to every physio appointment until you were on your feet again. And then last year when you realized you were gonna be out for the World Cup and you felt like shit, she was the only person you would talk to. I think that’s when I knew for sure how you felt about her.”

Ben still remembers that night like it was yesterday - he was in the treatment room at Stamford Bridge, icing his leg, already knowing tomorrow’s scans would confirm what he felt the moment he landed wrong, and he was so upset about missing Qatar that he barely spoke when the coach and some of his teammates came to see him. And then he heard your voice in the hall, grilling the medical team to ensure he was receiving proper care, and he smiled for the first time since he limped off the pitch that night. 

You ran in, pushing past Mason to wrap Ben up in a tight hug and tell him everything would be okay, and despite how terrible things were at the moment, he felt so at peace in your arms.

“Mason’s right,” Tom says sincerely. “And it’s probably why none of these girls you hook up with feel right. You’ve already got your heart somewhere else.”

Ben feels his head spinning as he replays every meaningless one night stand he’s had, how something had always been missing.

He thinks about how it feels when he sees you in the stands at the Bridge, especially when you’re wearing his kit, and the way just seeing you gives him the confidence to be a better player. 

And, more importantly, how you make him a better person - how he’s constantly in awe of your career and how you help people, how it inspires him to try to do more to make the world a better place. How you’ve turned down expensive Christmas and birthday gifts from him every year and directed him to a charity worth donating to instead. 

He thinks about how you’ve stood by his side all these years, even when he was a cocky kid coming up in the Premier League and when he’s been a bit of a dick, you’ve always kept him from straying too far from himself. Through all the injuries, through every win and loss, you’ve been there. 

He thinks about how you literally agreed to this ridiculous, elaborate PR scheme just because he asked you to, sacrificing your own free time and privacy to help him out. 

Finally, he thinks about how right it’s felt pretending to be your boyfriend. It’s been almost second nature holding your hand and telling people how wonderful you are. It felt as easy as breathing to kiss you, and though he knows he shouldn’t have done it in a room full of people, he can’t bring himself to regret it. Kissing you was pretty much the best moment of his life, which means seeing you walk away from him on the verge of tears minutes later was probably the worst. 

But while he’s been beating himself up this entire holiday over the fact that he kissed you and the fact that he dragged you into this fake relationship, he now realizes that wasn’t his mistake.

The issue is that he should have done it a long time ago, and it should’ve been for real. 

“Shit,” Ben mutters under his breath. “I’m in love with Y/N.”

“Finally, he admits it!” Harvey grins, patting Ben on the back firmly. 

The rest of the boys grin and chime in with their agreement, but Ben is already rising from the table and pulling up flights on his phone.

“Where you going, mate?” Mason asks with a smug grin on his face.

“Home, I don’t want to wait until tomorrow,” Ben says with a nervous smile. “Wish me luck, boys.”

As he begins to jog back to his bedroom so he can quickly pack and get to the airport in time for the next flight, he hears Harvey call out from the kitchen.

“Don’t forget trousers!”

-

a/n: and off he goes!! sorry for the slight cliffhanger but i hope you guys liked this one, as you can imagine i'm very excited to share the next (and last, except for the epilogue) part and am already working on it!! let me know what you thought of ben's pov and any predictions for the ending! tag list: @captainwans​ @amandaaa1025 @bbygrlllllll @ncentic​@lunamelona @kathb59 @cinderellawithashoe @batmansb1tch @myheartgoesvroom @chillymountsjess @babygirlbenji @delicateearthquakellama @joyfullyswimmingface @xxenia14 @chaotic-taco-collector-blog @chilwellspulisic @maraudersmap123 @evelinapurmale @freekoalakryptonite (let me know if you would like to be added or if i missed you!)

[emin-folly]

Maybe this is a stupid question, but what do you think Eobard does in his free time? Like, does he have a daily schedule? A color-coded calendar with reminders how to fuck with Barry? Is he still a professor? Like, what does he DO when he isn't actively fucking up someone's life? Sry, I just got interested in him very recently, and the comics are chaotic lol

Hello~! I'm very happy to be the first to welcome you to Yellow Rat hell <3 He's such a fascinating, tragic, horrid gremlin of a man, and he definitely deserves more fans aha. As someone who reads comics, I can confirm it's not you, they can be very confusing and all over the place xD

And no, that's not a stupid question, not at all! He is shown not to always be around to bother Barry for months at a time, so it's entirely reasonable to wonder where he goes a lot of the time~ Some ideas of what he could be possibly doing are but not limited to:

Tending to his beloved museum. Aside from Barry, this is one of the very few things he treasures deeply. It's his pride and joy as well as his home. We all know he's established to be the curator of the museum and has provided tours to the public, but it's very unclear if he continued with that after becoming Reverse Flash. While he might've, I feel like there's too many reasons why he wouldn't. One being that the Renegades know his secret identity and I'm pretty sure that would ruin a lot of business for him lol. Plus with Eobard's mentality, I think he would be just too distracted, too frantic with his need to focus on Barry to do his day job

Now this is more of a fun headcanon my friend, Ftl were talking about that I since adopted where Eobard likes to pop back into the past, right before a major event or disaster, whether just as a bystander or a instigator. And of course, he always manages to run into Vandal Savage, so much to the point now that Vandal now associates him as a omen for things to come

He is canonically shown to go and bother/mess with Thomas Wayne a handful of times. This is significant as normally he really doesn't go out of his way for anyone that's not Barry/Flashfam member more than he absolutely has to. He doesn't even go after Hal. The only people he seems to be genuinely interested in and fixated on are those who have (willingly) killed him. Thomas may not rank as high as a priority as Barry, naturally, but he definitely counts as a hobby at least

There was also that time in Flash Age, where Eobard got to play the role of savior of Central City in his own era. He genuinely seemed to enjoy being the hero but, well, if you read to the end, you'll see why that most likely won't be happening again heh

Now this one is a lot more jokey, but in a DC Holiday Special, there's one panel in the last story that shows Eobard enjoying a game of poker with the Anti Monitor along with some other characters, so take from that what you will~

Now, as for your question about him still being a Professor, that's also really not explained in depth. They never really cement exactly what he's a Professor of, but considering him, it's most likely history and/or the Speed Force. In some comics he does have students, in others it works mostly as just a title and then sometimes it's not referenced at all, but it's safe to assume he still is one aha

I also don't really see him having a daily routine. The way I see it, Eobard is so far removed from being human, he doesn't really need to eat, sleep, or do personal hygiene lol But I really love your calendar idea! It would definitely look something like: "Fuck with Barry" "Fuck with Barry" "Fuck with Barry" "Fuck with Barry/Visit Daddy Bat" "Fuck with Barry/Die" "Askdhsgkdbjk" "Poker night" 😂

Also, I know it's not really canon but I really enjoy the idea of him painting. Eobard is a gifted child and a genius, he can master practically anything he sets his mind to. IDK why painting of all things, but it just kinda seems right. Bonus points if he uses it to replace original paintings in the past with his LOL

Overall, sadly, we don't get to see all the mischief he gets up to when not tormenting Barry, only tidbits. But hey, that just gives us some creative freedom to come up with fun ideas ourselves~

[scarabsinthestardust]

Tender // Ch. 7

MASTERLIST

word count: 2300+

CHAPTER WARNINGS: language; alcoholism; rehab facility; prescription medication; anxiety; unspecified undiagnosed mental illness; hallucinations; allergic reaction; small mentions of previous physical domestic violence; marijuana use; and the reminder that this is a story about DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND DOMESTIC ABUSE - please do not read if those topics are triggering for you, if you just prefer not to read about them

The best rehab facility we found in the state of Tennessee was mediocre at best. It was expensive, but Josh insisted on helping me pay for it. I considered quitting before I even began, but Josh’s optimism kept pushing me in the right direction. His hopeful determination was encouraging, and it kept me moving when I felt I had nothing left.

Josh kept his word and stayed with me as much as he could. The facility didn’t allow visitors the first week, but Josh was there nearly every day during the allotted visiting hours after that. I still find it hard to grasp his unwavering support, after everything that happened.

The reason visitors aren’t allowed for the first week is because you’re most likely going through withdrawal. I knew it would happen and that I’d probably be nauseous and irritable, but I hadn’t prepared myself for everything else. I was plagued with fever, confusion, and my heart wouldn’t stop racing. They mentioned a state of delirium characterized by vivid hallucinations, and that only about five percent of people going through alcohol withdrawal experience it. Unfortunately, hallucinations aren’t new to me, so they were a given. When they got bad and I couldn’t escape them (being locked up all), the doctor prescribed me benzodiazepine. I’m sure normally it works great to alleviate some of those withdrawal symptoms, but alas, nothing can ever be easy with me. Turns out, I’m allergic to the benzos, so a nice surprise dose of epinephrine later, my airway was cleared, and I was finally able to sleep.

I’m also not confident that a lot of my symptoms weren’t just side effects of the sheer panic I was feeling. That place made me anxious; I felt trapped, surrounded by people I couldn’t trust. Plus, I was bored. Idle hands are the devil’s workshop. They’d wake us up early for breakfast, and they pushed a strict schedule for group sessions (I would rather have stuck my arm in a bear trap), and individual therapy (also a fucking nightmare). They tried to encourage time in the day for silly arts and crafts like we’re children, and things like yoga or meditation, which isn’t quite my speed either. I took advantage of the indoor gym, though, and spent a lot of time reading.

Josh could tell I was constantly on edge. He’d hold my hand across the table and tell me how proud he was of me, his words filling me with confusion. I just couldn’t understand why he was still here with me. Being sober and bored out of my mind gave me plenty of time to reflect on everything I did, everything that led me to this place, and all the things Josh doesn’t know about. But despite my own internal conflict, he is still here, and for once, I don’t think there’s any ulterior motive. He only wants to help.

At Josh’s behest, I requested to be prescribed anxiety medication. I hated taking them; the side effects were frustrating, and I was constantly tired. But once I got the dosage figured out, they at least helped take the edge off. Whether or not I’d continue to take them afterwards was yet to be determined.

90 days. I was locked up there for 90 days. Three months sober, medicated, and numb. I didn’t know what would happen once I got out. I completed their ridiculous program, and they set me up with a shrink and anxiety meds before they released me, like an injured animal being freed from rehabilitation and back into the wild. Maybe I should have chewed my own leg off instead of letting myself be captured.

~

“Mom and dad are coming here for the holidays this year. Jake doesn’t wanna fly with the baby, and nobody wants to make that drive. Is… is that okay?”

Josh is watching me, nervous but hopeful. He’s been so careful with his words, worried he might trigger something in me. But for the first time in a long time, I don’t feel like I’m being chased and grabbed at by something dark. “Yeah, of course. It might be nice to meet them under better circumstances.” When I first met Josh’s parents, it was at the hospital after Sam’s car accident, so things were less than ideal. With everything less tense now, it might be a good opportunity to get to know his parents. I feel like I might be able to stick around, and I plan to, if Josh will keep me.

“And remember, tomorrow is-“

“Movie night. I know.”

He smiles and approaches me where I’m sitting at the dining room table. He makes sure my laptop is out of the way before sitting on my lap and kissing me. I place one hand on his hip and bring the other to his cheek. I’m already getting lost in him and for the first time, it feels right.

“You promise you’ll let me know if it’s too much, if you start feeling bad?”

It’s a simple enough request, one he’s asked me countless times since getting out of rehab. All he’s asking for is an open line of communication, and not to be afraid to lean on him for help if I need it. “I promise.”

“It’ll be an easy night. No strangers, just movies. And Jake’s making dinner.”

“I don’t know, Jake might poison me,” I joke.

Josh laughs and rolls his eyes. “He’s not going to poison you.”

“He doesn’t like me.” It’s not a secret, and Jake certainly doesn’t try to hide it. But from what I understand, Josh never told him everything. I wonder how much worse it would be if Jake knew I was the reason for the scar on the back of his twin’s arm, or that it wasn’t the only time I’d let my rage get the best of me.

“He’s just protective. All of us Kiszkas are,” he shrugged. “I didn’t like Kya much in the beginning. I thought she was annoying and mean. But look at us now.” He kisses me again and nuzzles his nose against mine. “Just give him time. He’ll figure it out eventually.”

“Figure what out?”

“What I see in you. Why I love you.”

“Sometimes I’m not sure I even have it figured out.” I can’t help the despondent tone of my voice.

He’s gotten quite good at sensing when the guilt is starting to eat at me, and in turn, trapping it. “You’re bigger than your mistakes.” He leans into me, his arms around my shoulders. “I’ll admit it hasn’t been easy. What part of love is? But you’re so much more than the piece of you that made those mistakes, and that bigger part of you, the real part, that’s who I fell in love with.”

I can’t find the words to reply, so I press my forehead to his and hold him close. I revel in his familiar vanilla scent and the feel of his weight on me, grounding me. He’s my lifeline, maybe the only one I really have, and I’m holding onto it as tight as I can, for fear if I let go, I’ll drown.

~

“Hey, you okay?” Josh nudges me as we park in Jake’s driveway.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m just… a little drowsy from the meds.” I give his hand a reassuring squeeze. “I’m good. I promise.”

We make our way inside, where we’re greeted by the amazing smell of whatever Jake is cooking. He doesn’t speak to me, and I don’t try to force it. Kya hugs me tightly. “I’m so glad you could make it.” Sam and Danny extend their greetings from where they sit in the living room. When the anxiety starts to bubble up in my throat, Josh places a hand on my shoulder, just to ensure I know he’s still here with me.

Dinner is great; if there’s anything I can give Jake credit for it’s that he’s an excellent cook. The brothers bicker about who gets to pick the first movie, Jake eventually winning with the “It’s my house” argument, and they settle on a pirate movie. Josh claims us a spot on the couch and swipes a throw blanket to curl up under. He snuggles up into my side and keeps a hand on my thigh for the duration.

At some point in the evening, Sam pulls out a joint and makes a move to light it.

“Hey! Not in the fucking house,” Jake scolds.

“But it’s cold outside,” Sam whines. “You always used to let us smoke inside.”

“Except now there’s a baby in the house. Out.” He points to the back door, firmly planted on his decision. Kya’s letting Jake handle it, but the pointed look she gives Sam tells me she agrees.

Sam doesn’t want to argue with that, so he groans and stands to retrieve his jacket before heading to the door. “Would anyone else like to partake?”

Josh moves to take him up on the offer, but stops and looks to me, as if to ask my permission. “Go on. I know you want to.” I give him a soft smile, letting him know it’s okay.

“Oh, shit.” Sam’s staring at me with wide eyes. “Dude, I’m sorry. I didn’t even think…”

He glances at the joint in his hand then back to me, and my confusion shifts to understanding. I’m careful to hide the irritation that they all know, and that Josh must have been the one to share my business with them. “Oh. No, it’s okay. It’s not weed that’s the issue, I just don’t care for it.” He seems to relax, no longer worried that he’s singlehandedly threatening my sobriety. “I’d go with you, but it’s fucking freezing outside.”

Kya snorts in laughter. “You can say that again.”

“You guys just need thicker skin,” Josh taunts, playfully sticking his tongue out before following Sam and Danny outside, shutting the door behind him.

Jake decides to take the opportunity to clean up the kitchen a little, leaving me and Kya alone in the living room.

“How are you holding up?”

I catch myself picking at my cuticles and focus on a loose string from the blanket still draped over my lap. “I’m okay.” I don’t particularly want to talk about any of it, but I have a feeling she won’t be satisfied with my vague non-answers. And I’m correct.

“You know you can talk to me, right? You’re my friend. I just wanna make sure you’re okay. Really okay.”

I sigh and try to hide the annoyance that might be present in my voice. “I’m good, Ky. I’m working on just feeling normal again. Just trying to move on.”

She gives a small half smile, and I notice for the first time how tired she looks. “You promise you’ll let me know if you need anything?”

“Yeah, I promise,” I say, for what feels like the hundredth time. It’s an empty one, though; she’s got enough on her plate with the baby and doesn’t need the added responsibility of taking care of me.

The little one chooses this moment to wake up, her cries coming through the speaker of a baby monitor. Kya doesn’t complain as she gets up to tend to her daughter. “You wanna come see her?”

I nod and follow her into the room they had designated as the nursery. My desire to tag along was rooted less in wanting to see the infant and more in not wanting to be left alone with Jake. I’m not sure I can handle the tension right now, and I would hate to cause any friction where Josh is involved.

We chat while she changes and feeds the baby. It’s mostly small talk, catching up with her and her life. She doesn’t push me for more than I’ve already volunteered, but I can see in her eyes that she’s worried. I’ve known her long enough to know when there’s something on her mind, even if she won’t voice it. And what I recognize in her eyes makes my chest ache. She knows something, and she doesn’t trust me anymore. It hits me that none of them do, and I won’t regain it from them. But then again, maybe it’s just my own paranoia talking, so I do my best to push the thought away and let myself enjoy the night.

I hear Josh’s voice ring out as he comes down the hall behind me. “Um, excuse me. You know the rules. I must be invited to all baby-snuggling parties. To exclude me is obviously treason, punishable by death.”

“Oh, my mistake, our great and powerful leader.” Kya laughs and rolls her eyes before placing the baby, now content, in Josh’s arms. He smiles at her like she’s the most important thing on the face of this planet. Hell, she probably is. I shake off the gross feeling rising up in me. I’m not going to be jealous of a baby; that’s the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard. Plus, seeing the way Josh’s eyes light up as he coos and grins at the tiny person he cradles in his arms makes my heart swell.

It’s not awfully late yet, so once Kya gets the baby settled and back to sleep, someone picks another movie, and we resume from our previous spots. Josh only lasts about 30 minutes before he falls asleep, his head in my lap and legs spread across the couch. I let him sleep, gently brushing my fingers through his curls.

I’m not even paying attention to the film. My focus is entirely on Josh. He’s so peaceful when he sleeps, and he seems almost fragile, like one wrong move could break him. I keep myself still so I don’t disturb him; I know he needs the rest. It doesn’t bother me. I’d stay like this forever if it meant he’d be safe, and that he’d get to stay mine.

The wind’s always changing, though, pushing in the storm clouds that hover ominously, threatening to steal away everything I’ve worked for, to take him away from me. And when the time comes, I know I won’t be able to stop it.

///

TAGLIST Let me know if you want to be added!

@hollyco @fleetingjake @musicislove3389 @hailthegodsong @josh-iamyour-mama @katuschka @lilbitx

[missvelvetsstuff]

Just a Number

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Reader meets Bucky at a party and the attraction is more than either one of them wants to resist.

Reader is 47 and has adult kids who aren't sure about her new beau.

Chapter 8

Notes: it feels like it's been forever but I'm still alive. The holidays were rough, we were all sick and broke but my family is together and that's what's important. The husband and oldest are both working full time now and it's gonna take some time but life is heading back towards our normal level of broke.

My muse is very slowly waking up and I'm hoping to find the inspiration to get back to work on my other wip's and even have an idea or two for new stories.

I just realized that I've gone over 1000 followers and can only offer my shock and gratitude to y'all.

Hope this is worth the wait.

Warnings: swearing, angst

Y/N was too busy for the next few days to do more than work and sleep. Contract disputes arose in Malaysia which meant 3 nights away from home. It wasn't so bad, Pepper always had the best of everything and wasn't stingy.

She struggled to sleep with the time changes and late night meetings, only wishing she could go home to her own bed and sleep for at least a day straight.

That might not help her dreams. They started sweet before turning sexy and she never had the chance to get any release when they went bad. In one dream she let Bucky tie her up and he quickly went from teasing to torturing. If she was lucky she woke up screaming but sometimes she couldn't wake herself up and was trapped by the Winter Soldier, who then morphed into John, until something woke her up.

The first night home from Malaysia she woke up crying and went down to the kitchen for some tea, only to find Dawn waiting with her mug and the tea kettle whistling.

Dawn spoke softly.

"Come have a cuppa and talk to me Sissy. I feel like I haven't seen you in ages"

Y/N scoffed softly "Don't be so melodramatic I've only been gone for a few days."

Dawn shrugged "It's not the same here when you're gone. Maybe I'll get a dog."

Y/N smirked "Fine, as long as it's not some yappy purse dog. Pits and Shepherds are good."

Dawn's smile grew "You said fine, I'm getting a puppy next Saturday. You want to come to the shelter with me?"

Y/N smiled and nodded "I'm in."

Dawn poured hot water in their mugs "Now that's been settled. What's going on? I heard crying."

Y/N shook her head "Nothing. I'm just severely jet-lagged and can't sleep. My schedule is all fucked up. I'll be alright, just need some sleep. Luckily, Pepper gave me tomorrow off."

Dawn looked at her pointedly "None of that equals crying so tell me."

Y/N shrugged "Weird dreams involving James and John, I don't know how to sort them out. I miss James, was looking forward to seeing him and now I don't know when that will be. I don't miss Johnny but do hope he's alright."

Dawn nodded "Some sleep will help. And a puppy. Definitely need a puppy."

Y/N chuckled "So we can fight over who he sleeps with?"

Dawn smirked "So we'll get two puppies."

Y/N rolled her eyes at her sister and drank her tea before Dawn gave her a hug and she went back to her room to try and get some sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the other side of the world things weren't going much better. John hadn't stopped complaining since he saw Bucky that first day. Bucky had been getting some amusement over Johns whining but was ready to put him down after the three of them got into it with some small time organized criminals who accused them of dealing on their turf.

Or that's what they thought until Sam realized one of them was enhanced.

Instead of focusing on taking the men down, John spent most of that fight trying to get the shield from Sam who ended up hurt pretty badly over it.

Bucky had enough and was giving John a piece of his mind when John tried to sucker punch him.

Unfortunately for John, he was still adjusting to his enhancement from the serum, while Bucky had been fighting with the serum for decades and caught John's fist with his vibranium hand.

He glared at John but couldn't help smirking when John realized he was caught.

Bucky squeezed John's hand "You gonna stop acting like a bitch or do I have to break your fucking hand?"

John whined "No, you can't you'll lose your pardon. I'll say you started it."

Buckys grin grew as John fell to his knees "You're on thin ice with the govt already, sure you want to take that chance?"

John cried out "Fine! Fine. Shit!!" and clutched his right hand to his chest when Bucky released it.

Bucky offered a hand up which John slapped away, making Bucky laugh out loud before he went to check on Sam. They took a day to let Sam rest and recover.

By the end of the week looking for the power broker, nerves were frayed. Sam was ready to let Bucky have at John and just turn his head.

Friday night found the three men and Sharon drinking mini bar shots in a hotel suite in Croatia.

Sharon was all over Bucky even after he repeatedly and politely asked her to stop.

Sam was practically passed out on one of the chairs, mumbling out comments at the game of Cards Against Humanity they had been playing for 4 hours.

John was a little better off than Sam but likely only because of the serum.

Sharon had been going in and out for at least an hour but her occasional snores made John and Bucky giggle.

Bucky downed 3 tequila shots in quick succession, wishing for even a slight buzz for his efforts, before elbowing John in the ribs.

It didn't occur to him that he was inebriated and spoke in a slurring stage whisper "Hey" he tapped John's shoulder "Hey!" John mumbled then snored so Bucky slapped him across the face, 'gently' with his flesh hand "JOHNNY!!"

John sat up abruptly "What? Goddammit Olivia why are you waking me up. Stupid bitch."

He looked around for a moment before realizing where he was when he saw Bucky staring at him. John scoffed "What the buck do you want Fucky? Keep bugging me and I'll make sure you never get near my sister again."

John looked around some more until he saw Sharon "Sharon!!" When she groaned and rolled over he mumbled again. "Fucking cunt better wake up so we can....."

Bucky listened to his mumbling, trying to figure out what John was doing with Sharon. He couldn't understand why he felt drunk all of a sudden but blacked out before he could figure it out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the week flew by and on Sunday Y/N was preparing tacos for dinner with her kids.

Jessie arrived early and helped while discussing work and a guy she met on her lunch break.

Michael showed up late and Y/N could smell the alcohol on his breath. She wasn't pleased with that but knew it would make it easier to get his secrets out of him.

Y/N heard her phone dinging in her bedroom and left Jessie to watch the meat.

When she looked at the text there was no number listed and a bunch of dark pics with a nude couple, obviously mid coitus. She gasped when she saw the glint of gold on Bucky's left arm and her stomach fell when she saw the woman on top of him had long blonde hair that was definitely not hers. Her eyes filled with tears and she quickly shuffled to the bathroom to splash some water on her face and put her phone away to be dealt with later.

Jessie scoffed at her brother "What is wrong with you Mikey?"

Michael smirked at her "Just celebrating, my dear sister. Getting rid of some dead weight." He laughed at his comments and Jessie growled at her brother.

She grabbed his collar "You better not be screwing with mom or Sargent Barnes." She stood on her tiptoes and looked him in the eyes "I will fuck you up if you hurt her, Mikey. I'm not playing."

Michael scoffed "A little heartbreak today will spare her from much worse later on. Now can we eat yet?"

Y/N overheard Michael but couldn't understand half of his words. She shook her head, knowing he was up to something because he almost never drank, and walked up to her kids.

"Michael, can you set the table please. Auntie is out so it's just the three of us."

Michael scoffed "She's gonna end up with AIDS or something, as much as she whores around."

Y/N bristled and tapped him upside his head "MICHAEL DAVID! What the Hell is wrong with you? You will not speak of your aunt like that."

He rolled his eyes "You talk about uncle Johnny like that all the time. What's the difference?"

She sighed "Jessie, can you make some coffee for your brother?" Then turned on her son "The difference is that Dawn helped raise you and has always been there for all of us while Johnny disrespected me and your father every chance he got. Or did you drink so much you forgot about that? I don't know what's going on but you better think real hard about the next thing you say to me."

Michael looked in her eyes and spat "If you cared so much about dad then why are you disrespecting him by fucking a war criminal?"

His head was turned before he realized she had slapped him. His hand flew up to his cheek and he looked at her in shock.

"You know I loved your father and more importantly he knew but he has been gone for over 5 years. Do you expect me to live alone for the rest of my life? I'm almost 50, not almost dead and I deserve to be loved, dammit."

She paused to take a sip of her wine "And James is a good man who was forced into fucked up circumstances. The government has pardoned him and you don't need to make his life any more difficult than it already is." She shook her head "I don't know how you ended up such a selfish and judgemental prick but your father would be ashamed. Now help your sister bring the food in."

Michael just stared at his mother before walking away muttering "That assholes life will be real simple when he's locked up on the Raft."

He pulled his phone out and didn't realize Jessie was listening until he ran into her "What have you done, Michael? I can't believe you would sabotage Moms happiness."

He scoffed "She'll get over it. Be easy for a slut like her to find another guy."

Jessie punched him in the stomach and took his phone away when he doubled over. Her eyes grew wide when she saw the messages from their uncle and she shoved Michael to the floor before hurrying to the dining room

"MOM!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Early morning that same day, Bucky woke up feeling hungover, in a strange bed. It took a few minutes for him to sit up and remember where he was. He held his head and groaned, jumping when he heard a moan right next to him. He looked over and practically fell out of bed trying to get away from his bed mate. When he hit the floor he realized that he was naked. Grabbing the blanket he stood up awkwardly trying to cover his nudity. As he pulled on it he saw it sliding off of the person in his bed, who he definitely didn't want to uncover.

She groaned "Jimmy, baby what's wrong?"

Bucky shook his head "Sharon? What the fuck are you doing in here? I told you to leave me alone."

Sharon giggled "Yeah you started that way but as the night went on you got much friendlier. Come back and I'll show you." She invited as she uncovered herself.

Bucky closed his eyes and shook his head "Nononono, Sharon you need to go. I don't want this, I don't want you. This didn't happen."

Sharon pouted "It definitely happened. Wanna see the pictures?"

"What? Pictures? What did you do to me Sharon? I remember drinking, playing some crazy card game and waking up just now." Bucky felt his heart speeding up and felt light headed "No, this didn't happen. You and John did something to me. You drugged me."

Sharon smiled wickedly "Aawww, how could little ol me do anything to a big bad super soldier? I think you wanted me and took what you wanted. Nothing wrong with that." She shrugged. "I definitely enjoyed it and the evidence says you did too."

Bucky could feel a panic attack coming on and felt his knees buckle before he dropped to the floor, his head fell into his hands "No. This can't be real. Please God don't let this be real."

Chapter 9

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